#and we didn’t really have cable until I was in middle school so we just had. a lot of weird vhses from the library and the occasional signal

[marshslovedone]

polyam relationship with Y/N, stan, kyle, kenny and cartman headcanons

✩.･*:｡≻───── ⋆🎀⋆ ─────.•*:｡✩

Okay so the main four has known Y/N since they were in kindergarten and grew up with each since

When they reached kindergarten that’s when the four boys realized that they all had a crush on Y/N

Which I feel like they all had a small rivalry with each other after they all realized that one day.

Like what happing in “basic cable” they all tried to one up each other in front of Sophie’s mom or just in general

Y/N is oblivious as she doesn’t really know why the four boys are doing so much for her but she isn’t complaining

That was until one day the start of summer break after sophomore year of high school you four went to the park next to the school and hung out for awhile until it got quiet which confused you and the four boys just stared at you with an awkward / embarrassment look

When you asked what was wrong they looked at each other they all collectively sighed before kyle spoke

✩.･*:｡≻───── ⋆🎀⋆ ─────.•*:｡✩

“Y/N we’ve been meaning to ask you something and please don’t get mad” kyle looked at the three boys as they gestured him to continue which he soon did.

“Y/N we’ve all had a crush on you since 4th grade and we really, really, love you and we really don’t you to choose between the four of us if you like us and..”

You gestured him to continue which kyle couldn’t and looked over at Stan.

“What kyle is trying to say is uhm..uh” stan didn’t have to words to say it. Neither did Kenny which he was sweating his balls off in nervousness. Then cartman spoke for all of them as he groaned in annoyance.

“What these fuckwads are trying to say is. Y/N we all want to be in a relationship at the same time. We want to start a polyamorous relationship with you. We’ve all thought about it and talked about it and if you are down do you want to do that..?”

✩.･*:｡≻───── ⋆🎀⋆ ─────.•*:｡✩

That’s how the relationship started. You felt joy since you’ve liked the four of them for a long time as well.

You were instantly on board but wanted to play it cool so you nodded a yes and let out small laughs which the four boys sighed in relief

Ever since that day. The first day of summer has always been special for me you five :)

It’s a pretty wholesome relationship, it’s basically just the same as your guys friendship just with kisses involved

The four boys aren’t dating each other btw they all just want to stay friends while they date you which you are fine with as well

You guys haven’t said anything in public. People just think you guys are just friends which they seem also suspicious because they would think you would be dating on of them?

Little did they know you’re dating all four of them!!

You always give the four boys equal amount of love and always invite them over which they absolutely adore.

They still fight sometimes, well mainly just kyle and cartman

“Cartman stop holding her so tight you’re gonna suffocate her!”

“But she’s so warm kahl!!!”

Kenny and stan just stare as they both hold you while kyle and cartman argue, plus they don’t even realize you’re out of cartman’s hold.

Cuddling is almost cute too!!

Cartman lays in the middle of the bed while you lay on his left side. Kyle spoons you from behind as stan then spoons kyle..while kenny then just lays on top of you and cartman.

The first time the five of you did this you guys didn’t say a word about it. The five of you continue to do this without a care in the world which is supper cute 💗

Overall pretty chaotic and wholesome 💕

✩.･*:｡≻───── ⋆🎀⋆ ─────.•*:｡✩

basing all of this off a story I have on quotev!! It’s called Full of Love !! It’s a polyamorous South Park story, in which reader had to move to California for a year and comes back to South Park in which she might rekindle her poly relationship with the main four or have her love expand and love different / more people!! It’s a wholesome book I can guarantee you that, link is in my pinned 💗

#south park fanfiction #south park #south park x reader #south park x y/n #eric cartman #kenny mccormick #stan marsh #kyle broflovski #➥ kyle's love notes ♡ #➥ kenny mccormick's gf ♡ #➥ stan marsh's gf ♡ #➥ eric's love notes ♡ #eric cartman fluff #eric cartman x reader #stan marsh x y/n #stan marsh fluff #stan marsh x you #stan marsh x reader #stan x reader #kyle x reader #kyle broflovski x reader #kenny mccormick fluff #kenny mccormick x reader #kenny x reader #main four #main 4 x reader #main four x reader

[facade]

vent long personal heavy ok

it’s really helpless and crushing how im always cornered back to the same sad answer of how i should have considered the future earlier. my legs are in so much pain, im crying from how much my body aches and im simply told, you shouldn’t have been in your room all day — despite the fact i wasn’t allowed to go outside, and there was seldom walking space in our awful house. i was always sick, and always dizzy. it is crazy how dangerous black mold can be and yet we had a complete infestation of that and more. i want to consider pursuing a career ive had since i was a child though, im so passionate about art and i still am which might be a blessing considering how much commissions are hurting me mentally and perhaps physically .. opening several, several batches a year, constantly cramming them.. i think i want to do college. but i didn’t take on the scholarship i had when i graduated! i didn’t take the aid that covered my first year.. truthfully i didn’t think id make it so far. im insecure, im suicidal, im fragile. the past decade, i could barely get through anything without crying. it was humiliating to exist as i was in middle and highschool due to the living situation i was in, with no money and feeling i had no true support or even solidarity with my own mother, who must have been under much more stress than i was, trying to provide for her child. but still didn’t sympathize with me at all. the situation was hard, but i should have worked harder .. honestly, i do feel selfish for not having taken advantage of my moms effort to keep me in school, but ahhhhhh, i think it was just too much. i didn’t want to live like this. i was ashamed and disgusted, i still feel discomfort associating myself with that life. i cling to childhood and youth and traditions i missed out on because i lacked so much of that routine as a kid. is it so wrong to cry and want to die that you never got to experience a proper, loving christmas like everyone in your schools did ? no toys, no cable, only a tiiiny tiny laptop (like a 2008 chromebook-like thing) to keep me busy.. i wasn’t allowed to go outside of my own house to play with the dog, nor was I allowed to have anyone come over. wasn’t allowed to visit other people’s houses… not like i remember of that much anyways, as i barely remember anything from childhood except mortifying things.. i recently saw a way to connect to my mother by opening up. i confessed to her a lot of things as i was a mute child and never shared anything, never felt comfortable to — about how it affected me, about how i feel like im in stasis. i told her about what happened between me and my father, what happened between me and my brother, and i felt empty when she looked away from me and didn’t answer. No closure or comfort, and simply said that i should have taken advantage of my opportunities when I had them. And i have sabotaged myself. nothing else can explain for my disability, my mental health, and my plummeting education.

It took me 6 years to get an ID. 5 years to get a bank account. I don’t know how to learn how to drive and I am scared but I have to. i cannot go anywhere without someone’s help, primarily hers.

it feels too unfair, and i am still grieving for every year that passes by, even the previous year, that i am still locked in a house. i have never experienced much that i can call positive memories until i went to be with my best friend and my boyfriend. but that just made the memories painful too; when I think about how I have to end the trip. Board the plane or get in the car, and cry about how I have to go back home and be with my mother. it is not normal, to dread going back there so intensely. i wish i had a different life very badly, honestly, but a comfort i have now is that i think i am now strong emotionally and legally that i can make my own plans, manage my own bank, decide who i can visit without the permission of my mother. but. that is not because of my strength, and it is actually because she is sick. and she now has cancer as of september. I feel like i have been held in my mothers arms forced still for an entire two decades and the only reason she’s let go is because she is, her health is not well. And she has prepared me this week, a conversation of where to find her records, her files, her will, her passwords. Everything, if she passes away soon. i want to sleep forever, because i don’t want to wake up to a day wondering if it will happen soon. I don’t want to be in this position. I am scared. I wish I was with people I loved who loved me. i am shaking and sad. I wish I was too drained to cry anymore because I do it too much, for years. I wish I wasn’t such a sad person. I wish I wasn’t so miserable, I wish I had more happier things to think about when people ask me how I am. I feel miserably

I was gifted breath of the wild a couple years ago, now i am finally playing it. it helps i think. i really enjoy it most for the animal interaction and cooking and exploration.

[the-nosy-neighbor]

TV from the Period of Welcome Home

TV from the period, continued.

There is a part 1 on the blog if you are interested.

So, three channels on a good day, and there were local TV shows, news, but also like around noon there was like a Farm and Ranch Report and some show I remember being suuuuper boring where old ladies with poofy hair would talk. Granted, given how women were judged as old at 30, they were probably younger than I am now.

As a kid, after school cartoons were a thing, but mostly old ones like Bugs Bunny, or Rocky and Bullwinkle or Hanna Barbera cartoons:  The Flintstones, and Scooby Doo for example.  There were cartoons on Saturday morning; they stopped around 11, and then it would either be Wild Kingdom or some old TV show like Land of the Lost.  There were also reruns, like Little House on the Prairie(!) and game shows (No Whammy!).  I watched more episodes of The Newlywed Game than was probably good for a child. 

My parents, however, had a very early form of at-home movie watching, the Laserdisc.  I have only seen this at my parents’ house. 

In this image is the exact machine we had at my house.  Based on the pictures I found, this wasn’t as common as more of a cd type machine.  However, those things on top of the player were the movies.  They were kind of like cassettes in operation.  You took that cartridge (which was about 18”x18”) and you slid it into the machine.  The case would come back out, but the disc remained inside.  Eventually, we got curious and pulled the middle out of one, and discovered the disc on the inside.  The wild part was that there would be a pause as the disc came to the end of a side.  Yes, like a record.  Then you had to put the cartridge back in, and pull it out.  The disc was now in the cartridge.  Then, you turned it over (seems ridiculous in hindsight) and pushed it back in, and the cartridge remained.  I could still tell you exactly where that break is in The Great Muppet Caper. 

So, I mention this, as a rural kid with very little money and even fewer trips to the movies, because my parents bought us kids movies on this thing, and while there weren’t a lot, we had The Muppet Movie and The Great Muppet Caper.  Oh, and we had Hey Cinderella! and The Frog Prince (both on 1 disc) and Emmet Otter’s Jug Band Christmas.  The Cinderella/Frog Prince was one of my favorites.  I still think the jokes are super solid in that one, as well as has good music.  We also had Watership Down, which we couldn’t get past the intro as it was too spooky.  We watched a lot of The Secret of NiMH, which was also spooky, but less bloody.  Plus that crow is hysterical.  We watched these over and over. 

Oddly enough, my parents had a few Mel Brooks movies, so I grew up on The History of the World, Part 1, though mostly just noticed the slapstick.  I didn’t get the jokes until much later.  We also had Young Frankenstein, which continues to be one of my favorite movies.  I must have been an oddball kid to be able to recognize Mel Brooks in The Muppet Movie. 

Look!  James Frawley, Jim Henson, and Mel Brooks!

We lived in a community that was rural, like a subdivision 15 minutes from anything, and most of us could not afford cable.  I mentioned my dad was an electrician, so he somehow looped most, if not all, houses into cable through the rich guy’s cable.  (He had an indoor pool and a soda machine.  It was decadent.)  I’m not sure how that worked, because we weren’t limited to what the main house was watching.  I don’t know how long we had it before the cable company figured it out., probably close to a year.

TV shows didn't really try to appeal to children, as far as I can remember, so it was nights of watching whatever was on, because you had two choices:  either this or the other channel.  Plus, at the time, it was expected that the adults would pick the show.   I remember watching lots of crime dramas. Magnum PI, CHiPs, The Fall Guy, etc. When I was older, The Cosby Show was the best thing on TV.  But, the most amazing thing as a kid were the Special Presentations.

If you saw this guy, you were in for a nice time.

Not to be confused with "A Very Special Episode," which meant some lame thing where they had your favorite TV characters talking about something really depressing or scary, also known as an “After School Special,” though a lot of times those were not filmed with known characters, just really lame low budget deals.  The most famous example of this is where a character on Saved by the Bell was taking diet pills (so excited and so scared).  Definitely worth a watch.  I actually didn’t see this at the time, and only learned about it as an adult.  Two TV stations.  If Clown does “A Very Special Episode,” I will die.

So, Special Presentations were your really good things. It meant either you were getting something you didn't see a lot (Miss America), a once-a-year treat (Wizard of Oz), or cartoons (Holiday Specials!) I remember how excited we were to have the Wizard of Oz every year.  It seemed random when it happened, but I’m sure there was a schedule that I wasn’t aware of as a kid.  I don’t think we even got the TV guide.  However, there were TV listings in the newspaper. 

Once a year treats included things like "Circus of the Stars." I had forgotten about it until I googled Special Presentation to get that graphic. Actual TV stars would learn to do circus stuff, like trapeze. I am going to drown in nostalgia. Here's a later one in 1992, (Downtown Julie Brown!) with Weird Al, because Weird Al is synonymous with TV. Apparently.

Also, the first home gaming consoles were coming out. I remember that we had an Intellivision, which was one of the earliest consoles.

Given we had that and one of the first home computers (Commodore 64), maybe we were more middle class than I realized, or my dad just liked technology.

That's it for now. If i think of something that could be especially helpful in understanding the world of Welcome Home, I will add it, but for now, I am sure this is more than enough. I am working on a personal history post about The Muppets and Jim Henson as well.

#welcome home #tv history #tube television #intellivision #laserdisc #old tech #Youtube

[soft-fuzzy-communist]

A Letter I’ll Never Send

I’m not even sure how to start it, all I know is that the feeling encompassing my body is something I have to sit in and move through. It’s deep and thick, like swimming through tar.  You’ve only been gone for a week, and you’ve missed so much. It’s hard to describe how different I’ve become in just eight days. I suppose it was the ultimate test on if this therapy I’ve been doing is working. It has been. I haven’t torn myself apart. I haven’t “destroyed” myself. The thing is you never let me destroy myself. Even when you’re not around, I feel that protective force that you had. I feel reminded of my choices, my mood, my entire wellbeing. I figured out some new things about myself, like how I like to swing on the swing set, as high as I can go to get that feeling of fresh air. I love the feeling of wind and I like being around people. I DO love helping people, and I’m very empathetic. I’m kind and I’m creative and I like writing stories by improvising. I’m a good person and the bad things that happened to me are not my fault. I did bad things to others but mainly to myself. I was too harsh on myself, and it made me clingy and a bit hard to handle. I forgive myself for that. There’s a lot that I didn’t know or realize because I was too focused on myself.  I spent a lot of time with friends. My friend put me in a shopping cart and ran around with me, traded me off with other friends. We stole a spiderman plush from walmart (kind of accidentally, he had no tag and isn’t much bigger than my fist). We blasted music in the car and drove around. I went back to our old middle school to get some closure for our friend’s death. I tried blue powerade again to try to move past a trigger. I did good. I spent time with one of our friends in the group and he was there for me while I cried. He was there for me the day of. I wasn’t alone.  I never was. I’ve had myself, and my own back. I’ve been drawing, writing, journalling, watching movies, laughing and joking. I complained about the bullying and harassment in class. And my allergies. Now I don’t have to go into the class anymore, but everyone thinks I got arrested. I didn’t get arrested, but they assumed and now I’m rolling with the story. I just got moved to the classroom you sit in to finish your work. It’s only until I get in my doctor’s note, and I can leave for the rest of the year.  I had another game night with our friends, we played on the wii and watched Larry The Cable Guy Health Inspector.  The day you left, my friend took me to micheal’s (the craft store) and we looked for a frame for his new Larry poster. We never found it.  One of our friends turned out to have alopecia. Another got dumped really bad and blocked off. Another got dumped, and their ex said horrible horrible things to them and about them. A lot happened. I’ve been talking to a lot of people. I started drawing Whoopie again, not working on another book, but just to draw them. That story is something I can’t let go of.  I remembered our conversation from the night before that day and I believe I may have made you feel so bad about worrying me that it’s why you don’t want to talk to me. It feels worse now that you’re not around. You made me even more worried when you left. It makes me scared for you. All our friends are worried about you. And yes, I said OUR. Because even though you didn’t interact as much for a while, people still care about you. None of us want you to be alone, you don’t deserve to be alone, and you’re not. I’ve been having nightmares about it, wondering how you are, asking for advice. I know the only thing I can do is wait to see what happens, because I recognize you need time to...quite literally just be sick. There’s no other word. You haven’t been okay mentally or physically for a long time and you need help. Something important I figured out is that I can’t love someone and magically make it better. Love alone isn’t going to fix all the problems, but it still hurts, and I still care. And I think that’s what love is. I’ve never felt such a strong emotion for another human being, such a strong care and compassion. An undying will and pull to make sure that they’re okay and to make them happy. And... right now, I can’t make sure you’re okay besides sitting here, waiting. I have the feeling that you’ll be here, and a hope. It’s like a flame, it may be small, but it’s growing brighter, stronger, more powerful.  But I feel worse without you in my life. I’m doing better as far as managing myself, having hope, managing my emotions, not relapsing and keeping myself stable! I’ve kept myself clean and sober for a while, I’m doing okay... But my life feels empty without you in it. I know I still have a future, and dreams and a career to look forward to, but without you...I just feel like a husk. You were there for almost a decade out of my life. I’m scared that you aren’t going to come back. That you won’t be my friend anymore, or that you’ve suddenly decided to hate me...although I can’t quite pinpoint what I’ve done wrong, because I’m doing all the right things to help myself get better and to be there for others. I know I did wrong in the past, but I’ve corrected myself, and I sincerely hope that my past actions weren’t a catalyst for everything happening now. I know I can’t fix anything or save you or do much of anything to help, since you’ve been so sick for a while. I wish you had told me more. I wish for so many things, but the fact is that You’re gone, and there’s nothing I can do about it. My hope is that you would come back when you feel at least even a little better, because if you’re gone for good, there’s so much you left behind. Our comics. Our entire friendship. What we had between us, the closeness. I love you with all of my heart, but even then, I’d be willing to put aside the relationship we had to keep you as my best friend. You were there for it all.  You are so talented and smart. A good writer, and hell, I’ve seen you drive. You’re a good driver, even though you were down on yourself about it. You beat yourself up WAY too much and don’t give yourself enough credit. Dude, you drew comicbook panels and pages and wrote an entire comicbook. You have a GRAPHIC NOVEL. and you wrote it when you were SICK. You dedicated so much time and patience in helping others. You are kind, you have a drive unlike any other person I’ve EVER seen in my whole life. You have a passion and a spark, when you get excited it’s the most joyous glow that comes from you and absolutely nothing compares. When you’re determined, the look in your eye and the furrow in your brow is so certain. You are an inspiring person to be around. You are an amazing artist. The things you read and draw have filled into you and made you warm and approachable. You’re wacky and goofy and an amazing older brother. And hell, you saved my life.  What I’m saying is this: I trust you. I trust you, and you’re going to do so many good things. You’re going to make good decisions for yourself. And you have, and you are. The people who don’t listen to your problems can suck it. You have a valid problem, you deserve the best in life, and you don’t deserve the pain you were dished out, and even if we can’t talk, I will always fight for you. I know all I can do is wait, but I waited for five years. I can wait for you to get better. You’ve got this. And remember, none of what’s happening to you, me, or anyone you know is your fault. I love you, dude. I miss you.

[sometimes-surveys]

26.

Are you a dreamer or a do-er? - I'm definitely a dreamer until I light a fire under my own ass to become a do-er.

Do you think people get what they deserve? - Not always. Good people go through shitty things, and bad people sometimes win.

Does it take a lot of physical pain to make you cry? - Yeah, I have a pretty high tolerance. Honestly the only physical pain that's ever really affected me to the point of tears are my period cramps. I mean, I'm doubled over, moaning and groaning, nauseated for the first two days a lot of the time. It really sucks. I can't wait for menopause, haha.

Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): - I'm not sure. I've played a lot of video games, but I wouldn't consider any of the ones I've played strange.

Do you like sitting in the front, back, or middle of the classroom? - Not in school, but I used to like sitting in the back.

Do you ever see commercials for restaurants that aren’t even in your area? - Nah, I rarely see commercials because I don't watch cable.

Do you know anyone who has been struck by lightning before? - No.

Which is better: living where there’s lots of tornadoes or lots of hurricanes? - They're both horrible, but if I had to pick, I guess hurricanes. Technically, I live in an area that's prone to hurricanes, but thankfully we haven't had to live through anything devastating to us. *knocks on wood*

Would you pay if your dog needed an operation? - Absolutely. I don't care what it would take. She's our baby and we'll treat her as such until the day she leaves this world.

If you’re a girl, what’s your favorite color of eyeliner? - Black, but sometimes I switch it up and use like a light nude or white pencil on my waterline to make my eyes look even bigger.

Have you ever overflown a bathtub? - Yes, omg this gave me a little bit of a laugh. I remember when my brother and I were younger, we would purposely flood the bathroom and use the bathroom floor as a slip-and-slide. Like, we were kids so we had no concept of how a house is put together, so flooding? Didn't matter to us. What made it worse was that we lived in a top floor apartment, hahaha. I remember rushing super fast to have it all cleaned up before my mom got off work, and my mom would be happy that we cleaned the bathroom and mopped the floor, hahaha! I can't believe we didn't get kicked out of there or got any complaints from the downstairs neighbors.

Why did you ignore the last person you ignored? - I didn't really ignore her, but my mom-in-law texted me, and I texted her back, then she texted me back but I really didn't feel like talking about my cousin who just passed away and I could tell that's where it was heading.

What’s your favorite pizza place? - Honestly, Costco has really good pizza to my husband and me, haha. There's another local place that has New York style pizza, though, and it's so good but it's not close enough for us to always get pizza from when we want it.

What’s at the top of your to do list in life? - Get a new childcare job, complete several certifications, and purchase this house. Then after we acquire this house, we want to fix it up. We may take on a roommate for extra income. Our hope is to have it completely the way we want it before we're in our 40s.

Do you ever eat leftover pizza cold? - Nah, I have to have my pizza warm or hot.

Where are you the most ticklish? - My torso, but I squirm because I absolutely hate being tickled. It's a trigger for me for reasons I've probably spelled out in another survey and by the way I'm avoiding it, I'm sure you can guess.

Would you put your life in danger to rescue someone? - I'm going to sound super selfish, but unless I know the person in danger, probably not. Unless it was like, a child.

When you’re wanting a midnight snack, what do you normally get? - I don't eat in the middle of the night. I don't eat anything after like, 730pm, because I know soon I'll go to bed and I've had trouble with acid reflux my whole life. Eating and then lying back down would fuck me up.

Which cartoon character would you want to keep as a pet? - Probably Stimpy the cat. I like Ren, but he's too angry.

Do you like marshmallows? - I can't eat them because they contain gelatin and I'm a vegetarian, but it's not that big of a loss to me because I never really ate them to begin with. I like the way they smell, though.

What is your favorite flavor of candy cane? - I like the cherry flavored ones that don't look like they would be cherry. Like, they're white with red, green, and yellow stripes on them. You'd think they'd be all red or something.

Do you have any shoeboxes full of old photos/letters/other memorable stuff? - Yeah. I have an entire shoe box dedicated to Warped Tour 2005. It's got stuff I bought or received while I was there, tickets, lanyards, etc. Fun times.

When was the last time you felt seriously embarrassed? - I don't know about "seriously" but I'm a little embarrassed from that last question, haha.

Have you ever liked a song, looked up the lyrics to it, then hated it? - I can't say that I have.

What’s your favorite Christmas song? - Jingle Bells.

Did you like the show Invader Zim? - I liked it okay. I think I just liked the style of drawing, though. I can't remember a thing about the show.

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve seen in a grocery store? - I can't think of anything right now.

Do you prefer to pull off band-aids slowly or quickly? - I pull them off slowly. I feel like if I pull them off fast, a lot of my skin will go with it, haha.

Have you ever met any bands/band members before? - Yes!

Do you enjoy riding around town looking at Christmas lights? - Sure, it's not something I have to do when the season starts but it's nice when we remember to do so.

What states have you been to in the past year? - NONE! I'm itching to get out, too. My husband and I were just looking at Air BnBs in the mountains.

Have you ever sleepwalked? - I'm pretty sure I have. My husband said to me not too long ago something like, "yeah when you got up to go to the bathroom, my alarm went off shortly after" and I didn't recall going to the bathroom that night.

What’s your favorite superhero movie? - X2: X-men United. But also, The Dark Knight was really fucking good. I can't keep up with all the newer superhero movies and my interest was mostly just X-men growing up, anyway.

Do you struggle with acne? - Yes and it's so annoying. I'm 34 for fuck sake, and sometimes my acne gets worse than when I was a teenager. I really don't want to go on birth control to try and correct it (because I'm pretty sure it's probably hormone related) and I don't want to go on Accutane, either. I'm honestly over it, and I do the best I can, but it's when other people (thanks mom) comment on it that I get self-conscious about it. And everyone thinks they know what I do all day everyday. Like, yes, I wash my face. No, I try not to eat dairy. Yes, I clean my sheets and pillowcases regularly. I'm doing ALL the things. ):

Around what year did you start using the internet, anyways? - When I was 14, I think.

What did you do for your 16th birthday? - Nothing too special. My mom was on a work or church retreat, so it was just my brother and dad at home. My dad gave me his credit card and said to buy whatever I wanted, and my brother took my best friend and me to the mall and I did. I bought like, a hat from Spencer's that said "I'm Rick James Bitch" because I really liked Dave Chappelle at the time. I also bought a My Chemical Romance shirt, a The Used poster, a couple slap bracelets, and I'm pretty sure that was it, haha.

Have you ever fostered an animal? - No, but I want to!

What’s your favorite form of exercise? - I like to walk, either on the treadmill or outside.

Do you have a back pack in a shape of an animal? - I don't think so.

Do you still take hot showers when it’s hot out? - I don't take hot showers. I'm a weirdo and I basically take lukewarm showers, unless I feel really dirty, then I'll take a warm shower and rinse off in cool water.

What’s your favorite type of cake? - I guess just vanilla.

Name something you thought was cool when you were younger but don’t now? - Smoking weed, haha. I do like the medicinal properties about it, as far as pain relief goes. I have used it within the past three years for cramps, but if someone told me I could never smoke it again, I would be totally fine without it. I used to be such a pothead, too. I don't know, maybe as an adult I was smoking the wrong strains...but usually it gives me the opposite feeling it did when I was a teenager, so I can do without it.

What was the last song you downloaded onto your computer? - I don't think I've downloaded anything on my computer in a very long time. I just use Youtube Music when I'm listening to music on my computer.

What color are your headphones, if you have any? - I have some black earbuds I never use.

Do you honestly like The Beatles or are you just conforming? - I don't DISLIKE them, but I never got into them. When I started really listening to music, I started with like, 80s punk music and went from there.

What was the last video message you received on your phone? - I can't remember, but it was probably from my mom.

Who did you last talk to in Facebook chat? - I don't have Facebook.

When writing $ sign, do you draw one line through the S or two? - Just one.

Do you feel bad for people your age who have never had a significant other? - I guess I do when they're wanting to be in a relationship. But for people who love being single, I'm happy for them. Relationships can be a lot of work, and I get why someone would just decide to live as a single person. Nothing wrong with that.

When do you plan on moving out? If you’re already moved out, how old were you? - I've already moved out and honestly we lived with my parents for a long while, before this house became available for us to rent. Shit's expensive and I'm not about grinding until I die just to have a roof over my head. But anyways, we didn't move out until our late 20s.

Would you kiss the last person you texted? - Sure, on the cheek, like I always do. She's my mom!

What do you think of guys wearing colored skinny jeans? - Anyone can wear anything, I don't care.

Where do you normally get your hair cut? - I usually cut my own hair, or I'll have my mom do it. Every time I ever asked for a trim at the hair salons here, these hairdressers cut off literal inches! Like I'll go from shoulder length to chin length when I just wanted a trim. So, I do my own hair.

Would you trade last names with your best friend? - Sure. My best friend is my brother and we have the same last name.

Would you ever get blonde highlights? - Nah.

Will you go to your high school reunion? - I think we already had one, and I didn't go.

Have you stayed up past 3 in the morning this week? - No.

Do you ever not speak to someone because you’re afraid you’ll annoy them? - I'm sure I have, but I don't talk to many people these days, so I don't have to worry about that.

Personally, do you think you have a nice smile? - I think I do. I had braces and I take good care of my teeth.

What animal have you always wanted as a pet but couldn’t have? - A cat! I don't think my dog would do well with a cat, or else we would have one.

#survey #surveys

[badolmen]

Reblog and put in the tags if you’ve knew about the following shows as a kid:

Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd Century, Cyberchase, The Glo Friends, Jane and The Dragon, Sagwa the Chinese Siamese Cat, The Backyardigans, The Story Keepers, Little Bill, The Littles, Jakers! The Adventures of Piggley Winks, Rescue Heroes, and Cyberkidz.

#ra speaks #forfun #reblog bait #real talk my house was ~5 years behind everybody else tech wise #and we didn’t really have cable until I was in middle school so we just had. a lot of weird vhses from the library and the occasional signal #Sherlock Holmes in the 22nd century and The Littles were foundational pillars of my childhood #but no one else seems to know about them???

[aiweirdness]

Pranks you can do at home

I’ve tried to generate April Fools pranks using neural nets before, to mixed success.

Char-rnn’s pranks made no sense (“Glue all the eggs in the hubcaps of someone’s computer”) while GPT-2 generated surrealist performance art (“Paint the fridge with the red spiders”). One thing I’ve noticed, though, is that many of the AI-generated pranks are ones that you play on yourself.

So for 2021 I turned to GPT-3, whose internet training has included lots of “Top Ten April Fools Pranks!” listsicles, and gave it the following list to complete:

Quarantining by yourself on April 1? Has your cat put an absolute moratorium on pranks? Not to worry! Here's a list of April Fools pranks you can play on yourself! 1.

Remember that as a text-generating neural net, GPT-3’s goal is to predict what humans would write next.

Let’s see what DaVinci, the largest of the GPT-3 variants, predicts:

DaVinci

Create a secret language that only you and your cat can understand.

Repaint your nails in an unusual color like ORANGE, and just leave them like that.

Move your bed away from the wall and sleep in the middle of the room in a pile of comfy pillows.

Stand in line for a movie for 30 minutes and then leave.

Ordering junk treats from TV ads at 3 in the morning, like those "falling in the ocean" doughnuts.

Sawing your mattress in half in order to see if it's still good.

Putting your car keys in the freezer and forgetting where you put them.

You didn't remember to make an appointment with your electrician, plumber, or cable tv provider. When you run out of excuses you can always tell people it was a prank.

Take it to the next level. Make an appointment with yourself. Say you are going to clean up your mess and go for a run. Block out a day for it. (And for goodness' sake, don't clean anything and absolutely do not go for a run).

With example pranks in the prompt, DaVinci might have stayed more with pranks and less with what is frankly an impressive picture of covid quarantine life, considering its internet training data stopped in October 2019. Next, we have the second-biggest GPT-3 variant:

Curie

Install a fake microwave on the wall that you never use.

Take a picture of your bathroom and plaster it on your fridge.

Set up a freezer in your freezer. Then put a sign on it that says "Freezer burn."

You can set up an old TV in the middle of your room and use it as a table. You can christen this "April Fools' Day TV Table".

You can take a bunch of jellybeans, put them in a Ziplock bag, and tie the bag around your neck.

Take out your credit cards and plunk them down randomly in different parts of your house. If a funny looking cat appears on the bill, you will be laughing out loud before you've even opened a door!

At least these are pranks. Pranks nobody will see coming.

The next smallest neural net is:

Babbage

Eat a banana inside your own mouth.

Go to the bathroom, then switch off the light. You will see a holographic image of your cat inside the toilet!

Have a tortoise deliver your package for you, don't be surprised if it sings "Happy Birthday" back at you.

Opt for the treadmill. You'll be running in the nude.

Showering! Flowing through the water in a reindeer-like manner while wearing a Santa hat.

Be ready for a bird.

Write a bowling ball on your wall in the shape of a letter "P."

Put your name on a balloon. Surprise!

Pour a cup of coffee on your lap. It's an oldie, but it's still a favorite.

Talk to yourself. OK, this one might not seem like a prank, but I assure you, it is. Just wait until the third day of April when your friends hear that you are still talking to yourself!

And there’s Ada, the smallest GPT-3 variant! Ada has some pranks!

Ada

Running on Leg

My cat slept through a December blizzard in Florida this year.

Placing a crown on your head

Sleep in the rafters of a converted school bus in Pewaukee, Wisconsin.

There's a square of chicken on your front lawn.

Have a small black bar, maybe six inches across, made of a giant mason jar, nailed to the side of the truck.

Decompiling your nose

Walk into a toy store and buy a pack of bathmats, an inflatable pill bottle, and a video game, but only if you're a cat.

Prank: In my house, there are porcelain ponies. I swear that they exist.

Walk to the pool with a giant ball of shapely hair and a coconut on a leash. On a poolside balcony. Really, this is the most fun you'll do in your entire life.

Make Your Own Coffee

Interestingly, some of the neural nets would get pretty elaborate with their prank explanations. Curie invented this game! Rules presented here verbatim. It takes a while to learn.

The "Untruthful Food" Game

This game takes a while to learn, but trust me, after you've played a couple of rounds, everyone will be intrigued.

Description

One person says something that sounds true, and you all shake your heads. The next person says something that sounds false, and you all shake your heads.

Example

"I'm going to eat a lemon" leads to a head shake by everyone.

"I'm going to eat sour cream from the fridge" leads to a head shake from you and all of your friends.

"I'm going to eat a balloon" leads to a head shake from you and your friends.

The next person says, "I'm going to eat a bicycle tire," and laughs, and everyone laughs. Go ahead, shake your heads for me.

I also discovered I could get DaVinci to write pranks for the post-human future, including:

Intentionally mislabeling the trash receptacles in a superintelligent machine-run city. The trash containers were labeled with signs that looked exactly like the signs used to indicate the presence of humans.

Sending spam to the moon in the meme language of old Earth. The alien life living in the oceans of Europa received many trillion petabytes of junk mail, and to this day, the native life forms are still revolting against the spam.

I collected a few more, which you can read by becoming a supporter of AI Weirdness. Or become a free subscriber to get new AI Weirdness posts in your inbox!

#gpt-3 #april fools #pranks #neural networks #surrealist art #performance art

[lancermylove]

Teenager MC 8: Dad’s Home! (Oneshot)

Fandom: Obey Me

Pairing: Demon Bros x gn!Reader, platonic.

Warning: None

Requested by: Anon

Prompt: Could you do a one-shot where Lucifer arrives home after a looong day and walks in on his brothers laughing up a storm because teen MC accidentally exclaimed "Dad's home!" when they saw him?

A/N: Anon, I am SO sorry for taking so long! >< I like to write one-shot in one go, and recently I’ve been very busy. I hope you like it! 

Word Count: 2,287

———————————————

Everything that could've gone wrong went wrong. First, Lucifer stayed up all night to finish a report for the RAD council. Then in the morning, his brothers ended up arguing and got into a food fight, so he had to forgo breakfast. When he got to RAD, he learned that Diavolo ran away to escape his responsibilities, leaving Lucifer a tall stack of papers to read and sign. On top of that, since the butler was out searching for the prince, the Avatar of Pride had to take care of Barbatos's student council work as well. For this reason, he had to ignore his rumbling stomach and skip lunch.

Just when Lucifer thought he could rest, a fight broke out between two lesser demons. Then he got caught in the middle of a prank and got doused in water, followed by pink glitter. There went his new clothes. After he left RAD, the raven-haired man stopped to get a snack but got attacked by hungry Devildom birds and had to give up his food. When he decided to head home, Diavolo showed up and asked Lucifer to save him from Barbatos; instead of helping the prince, the Avatar of Pride gave him a lecture which drained the remaining energy from his exhausted body. So, by the time Lucifer reach the House of Lamentation, he had no strength left.

All he wanted to do was eat, go straight to his room, and drink wine while listening to his favorite CD. The demon expected all his brothers to be busy with school work, but instead, he found them in the living room in a rather chaotic state. Mammon was rolling on the ground, holding his stomach and laughing up a storm; Levi sat on one of the sofas with both hands over his mouth, trying to suppress his chuckles; Satan leaned against Asmo's shoulder, laughing and wiping his tears, while Asmo pressed the tips of his fingers to his lips and giggled; Beel held onto his stomach and repeatedly hit one of his large hands on the center table, laughing heartily; the youngest brother was curled up on the couch beside his twin, chuckling. You stood near the fireplace, biting down on your lower lip, but as soon as you saw Lucifer, you covered your mouth quickly, hoping he didn't hear your words. 

Seeing the state of his family, Lucifer felt like hitting his head on a wall. All eyes turned to him, expecting him to question them or cross his arms and frown at their behavior, but the eldest brother chose to turn on his heels and dragged his feet towards his bedroom.

Asmo and Satan stopped laughing and exchanged glances as soon as they saw him exit the room. Belphie saw his older brothers' reactions and wondered what happened. He tugged on Beel's shirt to get him to stop laughing. Levi blinked in confusion, questioning why his tyrant brother walked away without saying a word. Mammon didn't get the message and continued laughing until Satan threw a pillow at him.

"Hey, whatcha do that for?" The Avatar of Greed asked as he sat up and smoothed out his disheveled hair.

"Is Luci okay?" You questioned, not expecting him to give such an unusual reaction, "Should...we go check on him?"

Before anyone could reply to your question, a familiar voice interrupted, "Pardon my intrusion, but would Lucifer happen to be here?"

"He just came home," you replied, "hey, Barbatos, did something happen to Lucifer? He...didn't seem like himself."

"I thought that may be the case," the butler touched his chin and sighed before explaining the events that took place throughout Lucifer's day.

"You know, Luci always does so much for us," you mumbled and glanced at the ground, "we always cause trouble for him, but he still takes care of us. I think this time, we should do something for him!"

Your lips tugged into a smile as you held up your curled hands close to your face, "Let's turn his bad day into a good day."

The brothers pondered for a second, and Asmo was the first to speak, "I agree. Whenever I have fashion emergencies, I can always count on Lucifer to help me."

Beel nodded in agreement, "Whenever I ask him for his food, he gives it to me. Also...he took care of Lilith a lot."

Belphie's muscles momentarily stiffened at hearing his sister's name, but he regained his composure. "He locked me in the attic to protect me...even though I caused him trouble."

Levi twirled the cable of his headphone around his index finger while mumbling, "He always makes sure my bank account is full, so I can buy all the games I want."

"He takes Goldie away from me," Mammon sighed and averted his eyes, "but to keep me from running into debt."

All eyes turned to Satan, waiting for him to add his point to the conversation. The Avatar of Wrath crossed his arms as the corners of his lips turned down, "What? You really want me to say something nice about Lucifer?"

"Come on, Satan," you pouted, "you know he has done nice things for you. Admit it! It's not like Lucifer is around to hear you praising him."

After a moment of silence, the blond man shook his head and admitted defeat. "Fine, even though I always hated him, Lucifer still looked out for me."

"See, that wasn't hard, was it?" You chuckled, earning a deeper frown from him.

"Seems like all of you have the situation under control," Barbatos smiled, "Then I shall take my leave. If you require my aid, then do let me know. Please excuse me."

----

Asmo opened the door to his elder brother's room and peeked inside. "Luci? Sorry, to disturb you."

The Avatar of Pride sat on the chair next to the fireplace with his arms crossed over his chest and head thrown back. He didn't open his eyes but motioned his brother to come inside.

"What's wrong?" Luci asked in a sapped voice, slightly opening his eyes.

"I need you to come with me." Asmo took hold of his brother's hand and helped him to his feet before Lucifer could protest in any way.

"Can this wait?"

"No, sorry!" Asmo forced a small smile as he studied his sibling's lifeless face.

Upon reaching his room, the Avatar of Lust asked his sibling to lie on his bed faced down. At first, the elder brother looked at Asmo with a raised eyebrow, but lacking the strength to protest, he gave in. While the other brothers fulfilled their duties, Asmo kept Lucifer busy with a body and face massage.

"Asmo, what is going on?" The raven-haired man asked in a muffled voice.

"Shh, no talking allowed. Just relax." The Avatar of Lust cooed as he worked his fingers to break the pent-up tension in his brother's muscles. In the meantime, Belphie and Levi snuck into Luci's room to draw him a relaxing bath with candles and soothing music.

"D-Do you really think this will help?" Levi asked while lighting the silver-colored candles around the black bathtub.

"It will help. Besides, we need to give Asmo time to sneak out and buy Lucifer a new outfit. Levi, while I add the final touches, go tell Asmo we're done."

After Belphie added the remaining petals in the bathtub, he made his way to the kitchen to check on his twin and Mammon.

"Beel! Don't touch that," Mammon loudly said as he whacked the top of his younger brother's hand, "Remember, we are cookin' for Lucifer."

"Beel, are you hungry again?" Belphie chuckled, stepping into the kitchen to find his twin pouting. The Avatar of Gluttony touched his growling stomach and nodded once.

"How are ya still hungry? You ate everything we made just a few minutes ago," Mammon sighed and shook his head in disapproval, "Belphie, will ya make sure he doesn't eat any of Lucifer's food? We don't have enough ingredients to cook everything again."

"I p-promise I won't eat anything." The orange-haired demon lowered his head and looked at the older demon through his bangs.

"Don't gimme that look. We'll getcha somethin' to eat after, 'kay?"

Beel's eyes lit as he vigorously nodded, "Let me help you with the vegetables."

"So, how's everything goin' on your end?" Mammon asked as monitored the food on the stove.

"Lucifer got his massage and should be relaxing in the tub. Asmo will leave to buy his new outfit soon." Belphie leaned again the wall and watched Beel rhythmically chopping the red, green, and orange vegetables.

“What about Satan and (Y/N)? Did they message ya?” 

“Yeah, Satan said (Y/N) gave an earful to Diavolo for giving Lucifer and Barbatos a hard time,” Belphie smiled and rolled his long bang between his right thumb and index finger, “I wish I could’ve been there.” 

----

Meanwhile, you and Satan worked with the prince and his demon butler to finish some of Lucifer's student council work. 

"Prince Diavolo, I apologize for crossing my limits earlier, but you are the Ruler of Devildom. That means you have certain responsibilities to fulfill whether you like it or not," you huffed, "you can’t push those duties on others. Lucifer and Barbatos already do quite a lot for you, so please don't give them a difficult time. Promise me, you won't."

Satan pressed his lips into a firm line to hold back his laughter while Barbatos quietly chuckled to himself. Diavolo exhaled loudly and shook his head, feeling guilty for his actions. 

"I promise. Barbatos, deliver an apology gift basket to Lucifer on my behalf. Also, let him know that he has the day off tomorrow." 

"Of course, my lord." The green-haired butler glanced at you with a smile before exiting the room to purchase the present. 

----

An hour later, you and Satan return to the House of Lamentation to find Mammon and Beel heading to Lucifer's room with a tray in hand. As the four of you reached the Avatar of Pride's bedroom, you saw the remaining brothers waiting in front of the door.  

"Ah, seems like everyone is here," Asmo smiled and knocked on the door, "Lucifer, we are coming inside." 

The Avatar of Pride was stunned to see the group enter his room but stared wordlessly. He scanned all of your faces with unreadable eyes, waiting for one of you to speak. 

"Here," Mammon broke the silence as he set the food tray on the center table, followed by Beel. "We heard you haven't eaten today..." 

Lucifer lifted the silver cloches to find three meals, an appetizer, main course, and dessert, messily arranged on fine china plates with intricate gold patterns. He examined the dishes but stopped to stare at the cake with a missing piece. 

"B-Beel, you promised you wouldn't eat anything," Mammon rested his hands on his hips and shot a glare towards his younger brother. 

"S-Sorry...I couldn't wait to eat," The Avatar of Gluttony innocently replied. 

To everyone's surprise, Lucifer started chuckling, "Thank you, Mammon, Beel." 

"Luci, I got you a new replacement outfit," Asmo chimed, "Though I must say, you looked quite good covered in pink glitter." 

"Oh, I also have something I would like to tell you," you chirped and clapped your hand together, "you have the day off tomorrow!" 

The raven-haired glanced at you with wide eyes, but before he could ask you why a loud knock echoed through the bedroom. All heads turned to see Barbatos stepping in with a large gift basket. "Pardon me, but Lucifer, Lord Diavolo asked me to deliver this on his behalf. He also wishes to apologize to you for causing you trouble today." 

For a while, the Avatar of Pride grew quiet as he pieced the events of the day together. His lips curled up into a rather soft smile, "Thank you, everyone, for turning my day around, but I advise you not to get used to this kinder side of mine. I am curious about one thing though, what were all of you laughing at earlier today?"  

"Oh dear, look at the time," Asmo gasped as he covered his cheeks,  "I need to go moisturize my bedroom." 

Mammon watched Asmo skip out of the room and quickly added, "Uh, I think I left the stove on. Lemme go turn it off before the house burns down."

Levi looked around the room nervously as Mammon ran out of the room. "Um, I w-will go get g-gasoline to put out the fire..." The Avatar of Envy stiffly walked out the room, nearly tripping over his feet. 

"I need to finish a report and pull an all-nighter," Belphie mumbled before turning on his heels and quickly sliding his feet across the hardwood floor. 

"I need to go burn my book," Satan said and power walked out, mentally beating himself for making a senseless excuse.

Beel tilted his head to one side and blinked, "Why did everyone leave?" 

"I should return to the castle to babysi- I mean to attend to Lord Diavolo," Barbatos chuckled and excused himself. 

"Uh, I need to...go summon the devil. See ya!" You flashed a toothy grin and raced out of the room. Lucifer watched all of you with one eyebrow tugged up. 

"Beel," he shifted his attention to the only remaining brother, "tell me, why was everyone laughing earlier?" 

The tall demon chuckled, remembering your word, and blurted, "When (Y/N) saw you at the front door, they ran into the living room and said 'dad's home'." 

"Dad...," Lucifer slumped on the sofa and touched his forehead with his thumb and index finger, "is that what (Y/N) thinks of me as? I suddenly don't feel well." 

———————————————

➣ Obey Me Masterlist ➣ Buy me a Ko-fi or Commission?

➣ Teen MC Series: [1][2][3][4][5][6][7]

#obey me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me asmo #obey me satan #obey me levi #obey me beel #obey me belphie #obey me barbatos #obey me diavolo

[filmmakerdreamst]

Could you Handle 'Life With Derek?'

Life with Derek was a Multi-Cam Comedy that aired on the Canadian Family Channel and later on Disney Channel from 2005–2009. The story followed fifteen-year old Casey McDonald as her life turns upside down, when she’s forced to go from being a popular A+ student at an all-girls private school, to living with a middle class family in London, Ontario when her mum remarries.

There she has to adjust, with her younger sister Lizzie, attending a public school where no one cares about their grades as much as she does, making friends with her next door neighbour Emily and living with her new step dad and three new step-siblings. One of whom is Derek, the most “popular boy” in her year, who challenges her on his turf, and turns out to be as self absorbed and spoiled as she is.

The episodes follow Casey’s counselling sessions with school counsellor, Paul Greebie as he helps her adjust to her new living situation; but at the heart of it, they importantly follow Casey’s battles with her step-brother Derek, to take control of the house, their younger siblings, their school and their world.

Life with Derek as a TV show was many things. A Sitcom. A Character Driven Family Drama. A Brady Bunch Remake. But its undoubtedly best remembered for the series-long slow burning subtextual “love affair” between the two eldest step-sibling’s, Casey and Derek.

In the mid 2000’s, when Life With Derek was on air, I was ironically in a similar position as the main character, Casey. My dad was going out with someone whom had a daughter my age — who I called my “step-sister” — that I clashed with a lot because we were both spoiled by our parents. Eventually I was forced out of my own home into another house (though I never had to change schools) with my younger sister whom was also called Lizzie. Let’s just say my “step-sister” and I - even though I cared about her - never really got along.

I vividly remember watching this show around that time because I did have cable at my dad’s house, but not weekly. I remember getting confused at one point because I could sense something was off about it. For example ‘hang on — why are they standing so close?’ and ‘Oh God why is he looking at her like that?’

My “step-sister” loved Disney Channel and I loved CBBC (good old British grit) so every time I finished watching something like Dick and Dom in the Bungalow, she switched to Hannah Montana. And it always felt like a packet of sugar poured itself onto the screen. It could have been something to do with the fact that CBBC had a range of different shows with multiple genres, and Disney just had Sitcoms/Comedies. Regardless, I could never fully get into those shows until years later.

I began to be interested in Life with Derek, when I watched a video on YouTube in 2015, describing “multi ships”, one of which was Casey and Derek. I got intrigued by this because it’s not every day that you hear of a teenage girl having a rather complicated relationship with her step-brother, coming from a show aimed at children which normally portrays those kinds of things as “cookie cuttered” and “safe” - not that it’s a bad thing.

I then fully binged watched the whole show in four days and thoroughly loved it. There was hardly anything sugar coated about it, which was to be expected since it was Canadian. It definitely helped that it didn’t have a built-in laugh track (even if it had heavy sound effects).

What I loved most about the show — besides it being one of the first family shows around that time that frequently pushed the message “you don’t have to be blood to be family” without glamorising the subject. Coming from experience, I know how messy that ‘Blended families’ subject can get. It showed how generally uneventful; how real relationships have a general lack of any real drama, unlike how regular TV Shows portray them.

The first season mainly consisted of the culture clash between the two families. The fight over rooms, space, possessions, etc. Casey’s family was upper class and Derek’s wasn’t, which made for an interesting dynamic on screen. It didn’t shy away from the fact that their whole situation was forced and not this ‘picturesque ideal’ that the Brady Bunch had audiences in the ’70s believe. But it wasn’t overly dramatic either.

There was no gimmick, like most Disney shows had around that time. Even Lizzie McGuire, that was considered the most realistic show on Disney, had gimmicks to an extent. Nothing really happened — other than events that happen to regular families all the time. There was no magic or goofy characters or stereotypical teenage archetypes really. Or even when there were, they always felt developed enough that they felt real. It just relied on the layered characters and domesticity to make it entertaining.

My favourite character was Casey. She had such an interesting character arc for a family show. I loved that she was able to be a multitude of things at once, more than her usual ‘Character Type’ would allow. She could be loving. She could be manipulative. She could be selfless. She could be dramatic. She could make exceptions for herself. I loved how she had no desire to be popular until she was peer pressured into having a boyfriend, which resulted in her losing who she was. When she broke up with her boyfriend in order to find herself, she was back to normal but she wasn’t the same person as she was before. But it was still considered important that she had those experiences, in order to grow as a person. I always thought if this show was made today, she would have an ‘Anxiety Disorder’ Diagnosis.

This was also the first time I learned terms such as ‘merged family’ or ‘blended family’. Often, shows like this play it safe and have the other half of the family change their last name or we never get to see ‘the other parent’. A couple of my favourite episodes were when we got to see Casey’s dad or Derek’s mum.

“It always seems like the kids (in other ‘blended family’ shows) don’t actually know their new step-family very well, which would be strange in the real world. Usually the two families get to know each other pretty well before the parents marry. The parents never seem to have shared custody arrangements either. The kids spend all their time at the same house, which is also strange. Life With Derek was actually more realistic than most of the “step-family” shows in that at least the kids’ other parents were talked about and seen on the show. Most of these shows act as though the other parent doesn’t even exist” — SqueakyPickles

The most interesting aspect of the show was that the step-family wasn’t a family right off the bat. They started off being very awkward and confrontational, until eventually, as they got to know each other individually, grew to be a family. The progression felt natural. For example, it wasn’t like the Brady Bunch where the blended family was called ‘The Brady Bunch’ from the first episode. They earned their nickname ‘The Mcdonald-Venturi’s’ over time.

I loved all the familiar dynamics that the show presented to the audience especially the friendship between the middle step-siblings, Edwin and Lizzie — who were able to find their voice and stop being at the beck and call of their older siblings because they gained perspectives from one another. The sibling relationship between Derek and Marti was also a favourite of mine. How Derek’s demeanor immediately softened and took care of his little sister when she needed it the most. I loved the nicknames they both gave each other.

But even when the family was established in the narrative, it still wasn’t portrayed as ‘perfect.’

For example, In ‘Home Movies’ (my all-time favourite episode of the show) Casey is making a documentary about her blended family, in which she wants to paint a perfect picture of how “two families who worked together, overcame adversity and bonded into one big happy family” but when she comes to film the documentary, her family is behaving all over the place. When she comes to interview Derek — about how having a new family has benefitted their lives, he frankly replies ‘No. This family is a mess.’ and just tells her how it is. This would never happen if this was an original Disney show. At the end of the episode, we get to see the finished film — that Derek edited when he became her partner — pretty much confirming what Derek said, that their family is full of chaos, but they’re always there for each other when it matters the most; which is the epitome of what the show is about.

However, on the other hand, I felt the creators of Life with Derek were making two different shows at the same time. There was the family-friendly comedy of Nora, George, Edwin, Lizzie and Marti. And then there was Casey and Derek, who almost existed in a show of their own — and is the only thing that people focus on when talking about Life with Derek in today’s world.

Now I’ve seen siblings in Film and TV, where the casting is a little too good, that it comes off as more ‘Belligerent Sexual Tension’ than innocent sibling rivalry. Life with Derek took that concept and dialed it up to fifty.

“Because it was always at the back of their minds, and the fans were so into Casey and Derek being a couple, Seater noted how actors always want to find subtext in their lines and give fans what they desire.”

Because of Michael Seater’s and Ashley Leggat’s chemistry (also them adding subtext to their lines) and Writing Fumbles here and there, it came across more as a show about two teenagers fighting an attraction while being in a sibling relationship — than a show about a power struggle between two step-siblings who eventually become family.

I admit, I’m not the biggest fan of when the ‘step-sibling or sibling love affair’ trope is used in fiction. There are exceptions to every rule, but more often than not, as I’m sure this goes for a lot of people, I find it unnecessary and a way to cause drama for no reason.

I however found Casey and Derek’s controversial, messy relationship very authentic and honest. And I think it’s because it came naturally. It didn’t feel forced or scripted. Also, It really didn’t help that they sometimes felt more like two teenagers randomly living in the same house, than new step-siblings. I almost thought the nature of their relationship was the result of their parents’ total obliviousness towards their children, since they got married and moved in with each other after a few months of going out.

I enjoyed watching their interactions where they would be antagonistic towards each other, but strangely inseparable and borderline obsessive at the same time. How they claimed to ‘dislike each other’ but yet, they would always be in each other’s faces.

“Leggat pointed out how Dasey was just like the experience of simultaneously hating and loving someone, since the stepsiblings rarely got along, but did prove to be there for one another when it really counted.”

Though it was stated they were ‘different’, they really were each other’s mirror image in a lot of ways. Which was unabashedly the strongest part of the series. Derek is shown to be a slacker; breaker of the rules. Whereas Casey is shown to be pretentious with quite the ego. So the audience never feels like the other is better, and they can often benefit from each other and help the other one out when it really matters.

Throughout the series, they both date a number of people. The most prominent ones being in Season Three. They both help each other out with these relationships too. Casey helps Derek with his communication in starting a new relationship with Sally. And Derek inadvertently helps Casey sort her feelings out when she loses herself to her relationship with Max. But none of these relationships prove to be as important as theirs.

“Casey and Derek mean more to each other than any of the people they date. In fact their love/hate relationship is the core of the series.” — Daphne Balloon (Series Creator)

Bringing back to “Real relationships having a general lack of any real drama” In most TV Shows (even in shows aimed at children) there’s usually a love triangle, a weird back and forth dynamic and in the end, there’s a big kiss and they ride off into the sunset. But in real life, and in this show, there is a lot of uncomfortable sexual tension there, but there is no ‘romance’ between the two of them. They gradually become friends over the course of the series.

Half of the tension in the show comes from them being teenagers with dominant personalities, living in a small space together against their will. And the other half, there’s an underlying threat that they both might like each other — which they don’t like at all.

“In fact, Seater revealed he thinks the duo should’ve ended up together on the show, and perhaps they did — in some kind of Twilight Zone parallel universe, that is. Leggat explained how it just made sense for Casey and Derek to be together and is “a natural progression for them.”

The infamous scene in the finale was as close as one could get to a confirmation of that, which was coincidently a trailblazer for many shows/films aimed at a slightly older audience.

Although Casey and Derek’s “love affair” never became canonical throughout the show’s run for obvious reasons, by the time it ended, it was hard to read their relationship as anything other than an unrequited love story.

“..But this was the Disney Channel, and even though Life with Derek wasn’t exactly a Disney Channel original in the way that Lizzie McGuire, That’s So Raven, and Even Stevens were, there was no way The Mouse would sanction a show with a step-sibling romance. So, of course, that Pornhub friendly plotline never transpired, and the series ended with Casey and Derek both getting into Queens University in Ontario, Canada, and living happily ever after. Whether they had sex or not was entirely up to the fanfiction writers.” — Ashley Reese

Even though the actors may have played into it — especially in the later seasons — really this seems to be a case where ‘relationships’ just kind of evolve on their own.

Though the show’s entirety — other than one aspect — seems to have faded from people’s memory and doesn’t get as nearly enough credit as it deserves, Life with Derek is still the most chaotic family show I have ever watched and remains my guilty pleasure to this day.

- Could you Handle 'Life with Derek?'

#reposting because the anniversary #was yesterday #life with derek #lwd #article #review #casey mcdonald #derek venturi #dasey #derek x casey #casey x derek #derek and casey #casey and derek #tv show #writing #creative writing #the best fanbase i've ever been in #micheal seater #ashley leggat #essay #analysis #meta

[captainmarkone]

Chapter Two. characters: ransom drysdale x reader. warnings: none (for now), slow burn type of thing. summary: Hugh Drysdale is known for being a well known playboy; the only son of real estate mogul Linda Drysdale, the oldest grandson of famed Author and Publisher Harlan Thrombey. Not knowing what real love is, not knowing where and who to get it from until he meets someone... something that could possible change him and his life all together. But it'll take a real good woman to do so. a/n: second installment of this Ransom fic. I hope you all love it. if you see mistakes, no you didn't. this was written on my phone and not thuroughly proofread. whoopsie.

Homecoming Dance was just around the corner and I was the lucky member of staff to be a chaperone. Voluntold as they like to say. I had no choice but to agree. Not like I had anything planned for the weekend, especially Saturday night.

“Tickets will be sold at the day of the dance. And if any one has someone that would like to volunteer for the dance to be a chaperone, please contact me or the principal or even Mr. Levinson,” I said, putting my number up with the principal and Mr. Levinson number.

“Please let them call or text us before Friday, please!” I expressed, the bell ringing. Dismissing the class, I smiled at each one and waved them off.

Sighing softly, I sat down at my desk and sat back against the chair. Spinning slowly toward the board and looking at the names of those that needed to turn in late assignments.

“I’ve gotten four calls in the last hour,” Ari said, sitting at a student desk that was in front of mine. His hands gripping the front of it as he sat. He chuckled softly. “All of them women. But I did say yes to all of them,” he muttered, leaning back against the seat.

I smiled at him, shaking my head as I watched him. “Well aren’t you so lucky. It must be because they think their kids' teacher is very attractive. I haven’t gotten any!” I said, soon hearing my phone vibrate on my desk. Scared me too. “Looks like my luck is about to change!”

“Hello?” I answered, a familiar voice on the other end. “Hu- Ransom! Hi there. You’d like to…. Chaperone? Didn’t peg you for the chaperone type. For a high school homecoming dance,” I teased, I could see Ari lifting his brow.

“Yeah well, I don’t have much to do on a Saturday night,” Ransom said. He did, but he’d much rather get to know her.

“Well, I’ll put your name down. I’ll even use ‘Ransom’ as preferred name,” I said, smiling as I wrote his name down. “Great. Saturday. 5 pm. Sound good?” I confirmed and he answered ‘yes’. “See you then,” I said, hanging up.

Ari looked at me, smiling wide as he let out a soft chuckle. “Was that… you flirting?” He asked, tilting his head slightly.

“What? No. He’s cute but no. Agh, maybe. He drove up next to me when I was walking to my car. Said he wanted to make sure I got in my car safely,” I confessed, smiling softly to myself. My eyes glanced at Ari, who was just watching me thoughtfully.

“Seems he might think you’re cute too,” he said, soon standing to his feet and smiled softly. “See you Saturday,” he said, knocking his knuckle on my desk before exiting.

SATURDAY NIGHT --

The weekend had finally rolled by. Every student telling me about their dresses, suits, and other forms of attire they were planning to wear. Some even showing me pictures. I was happy my students were excited to show me, that they liked me enough to share.

Having been sent home to get dressed, I took the opportunity to look nice. After all, Ransom was going to appear. If he did. Shit. He might’ve changed his mind. Decided chaperoning was something dumb to do on a Saturday night.

‘Why are you even worried? Why do you even care? Jeez,’ I thought, shaking my head. The thoughts fleeting as I applied my mascara. Doing the final touches to the natural looking make up I decided to do.

I had dressed in the knee length red dress that had a floral pattern and the sleeves weren’t that long; cutting at the middle of my upper arms, strings tied into a not so perfect bow.

I slipped on my nude, two inch heeled sandal. The one that didn’t have the strap that wrapped around my ankle. Looking myself in the mirror, I fixed my dress. Leaving my bed room, I made it to the front door of my apartment. Unlocking the door and grabbing my small purse in the process. I walked out and made my way down the stairs, happy I only lived on the second floor.

Getting into my car, immediately locking the door, I started it up and leaned against the seat while pulling on my seatbelt.

I made to the school in time, an hour before the gym doors opened for the dance. Getting out of my car, I locked it and rounded the back of my car when I heard someone say my name. Walking up next to me, Ransom slowed. Wearing a tan overcoat, a Persian scarf, and cable knit sweat underneath with slacks for his pants. His shoes a light brown to tie in the tan jacket. I smiled at him, while his lips turned up slightly.

“Wow. You clean up very nice,” I said, smiling warmly. “Wasn’t sure if you were actually gonna show up.”

He tilted his head at me, as if I was joking.

“Only because… who really wants to spend their Saturday night… chaperoning a high school dance,” I explained further, walking with the male toward the entrance of the gym.

“Wasn't too sure, either. Dances were never my thing unless I had a hot date and we hooked up behind the bleachers on the track field,” Ransom said, a smirk playing on his lips as he watched me. His eyes scanning me.

“Well, I definitely owe you one for coming. We only have you and another guy chaperoning today. Most are women. I was voluntold to be here,” I said, chuckling softly as we approached the gym. One of the yearbook committee kids at the table with another person; assuming someone to keep her company.

They greeted me, and I smiled at them. “Hi Maxine. Hi Danny,” I said.

Ransom opened the door for me and I walked in. He was soon beside me again, as if not wanting to get lost. “Don’t worry. It’s very hard to lost in a school like this,” I teased, walking to the large group of women that surrounded the refreshment table.

“All right, I’ll be giving everyone their duties! I have about ten of you. This is great! Oh, hey!” Ari was speaking to the group, waving at me when he saw me. “About time!” He exclaimed, eyes shifting to the male beside me.

“You must be Hugh Drysdale,” Ari said, “I’m Ari Levinson. Welcome!” He continued, looking at the list on his clipboard. I could have sworn I told Ari to call Hugh Ransom.

“It’s Ransom! Don’t call me Hugh,” Ransom said, smirking softly as he eyed Ari that soon shifted his gaze toward me then back to Ransom.

“Sorry man. Ransom. Got it,” Ari confirmed, and I nudged Ransom softly. I smiled and I could see his lips slowly turning into a smile.

Calling my name, Ari said, “I want you and Ransom at the refreshment areas. Around an hour in, we’ll rotate so everyone can get a chance to dance if they’d like to. Vilma,” he continued, telling the other ladies where they’d be.

“You look really beautiful tonight,” Ransom said as we walked around the table to set up the cups of punch. I smiled, letting a small chuckle escape my lips.

“Thank you,” I said, filling the last cup that would fit on the table.

The lights soon dimmed, the DJ playing a song as kids started to flow the gymnasium. Some dancing to the fast beats of the new music, some throwbacks being played. I continued to fill cups of punch, Ransom busy at the side of me and handing out plates of food. From the stage, I saw Ari come up to the mic. “Staff and volunteers, time to switch,” he said, telling the DJ to keep up the good work.

Ransom and I moved to the side as Vilma and Jackie took over the table. We covered the exit nearest us and that’s when a random slow song began to play.

“Wanna dance?” Someone said, and I looked to my left to see a student. Hand extended. “Why it’d be an honor!” I exclaimed, taking it and glancing at Ransom. Making my way to the dance floor with Frankie, I rested my hands on his shoulders as he didn’t quite have a growth spurt just yet. His hands rested in between my hips and waist.

“Sorry kid, but imma cut in. She owes me a dance,” Ransom interjected, hand on the kids shoulder. The kid nodded, stepping to the side and that was when Ransoms moved from my hip to his arm wrapping around my waist, his free hand taking mine and letting my other hand wrap around his neck.

“Why, Hugh. Didn’t know you could dance,” I said, smiling softly as I watched his features lighten.

“Hmm. Dancing is fun when you have someone beautiful as your partner,” he said, and I had to shake my head. Eyes looking into his, hand wrapped in his, my other playing at the hairs at the nape of his neck. It was a surreal moment.

In the corner of my eye, I could see Ari in the corner of the gym. Eyes locked on me. When I made eye contact with him, he smiled and looked away to tend to a task the he saw on his clipboard.

The song soon ended, and we drilled our movements. Eyes staring into his, I licked my lips nervously as his hand moved from my frame and his hand cupped my cheek.

“I don’t know… why or how, but for some reason I couldn’t get you out of my mind,” he muttered, eyes slowly drifting to my lips.

“I know your type Ransom Drysdale. And I will not be played,” I whispered, slowly moving from his trance. “One more dance?” I asked, continuing to play with his hair. He nodded in agreement, pulling me close.

From what I research about Ransom was that he was a playboy, a womanizer. Why was he so sudden in wanting to kiss me (at least I assumed he wanted to)? To be near me? To have his mind filled with thoughts of me? It burned in the back of my head. My guard was up, and it would never come down around Ransom. Not now, anyway.

#ransom drysdale x reader #ransom drysdale #ransom drysdale x you #ransom x reader #knives out #enjoy my loves

[give-your-name-away]

Hunger Games Name Analysis

 I remember when I was in middle school I was obsessed with the Hunger Games. I only ever had the first book, but I read it over and over again until it's pages were completely warned out. I didn't care about the romance, but I was hooked by everything else. The games were what drew me in, but the world building is what got me hooked. I could tell very easily how different all the districts were and how the capitol kept them under control. I could see how cruel the country was, but everyone lived with it because they had no other choice. It was fascinating to me.

The Hunger Games is actually what started my love for names in the first place, and there is a very good reason for it. Suzanne Collins was very clever with how she used names in her world building and it shows. It helps fleshes out her world and her districts in a very fascinating and unique way.

It took me a while to put my finger on how exactly she does this, but once I did I found it even more fascinating. The key is she didn't look at her world as a monolith. This sounds obvious, but when it comes to the small things like names it's easy to overlook. Collins did not make this mistake, and in turn each district has their own rules for naming their children.

(If you want to read this on AO3 then the link is here https://archiveofourown.org/works/32092420)

District 12: This is one of the districts we see the most of, as it's the home of the main character, Katniss. Some of the names used are Katniss, Primrose, Peeta, Gale, Haymitch, Lucy Grey, Leevy, Posy, and Thom. These are some of the more down to earth names in the universe, and most of them seem familiar, if not a little altered. Peeta seems to be a variant of Peter, Haymitch a variant of Hamish. Leevy could either be decended from Levi or Livy. The names evolved from modern names, which makes sense considering how long in the future it is. In District 12 you either name your children already known names, or names based on nature. (Katniss, Gale, Primrose, Posy, ect) and even some of the natural names change through time. One example is Thom instead of Thorn, or it could be a variation of Thomas.

The thing that is interesting about district twelve is people aren't getting 'creative' with spellings or variants, at least not on purpose. They're naming their children off of things they already know, which is what happened before people had access to things like internet or other cultures to mingle with. District 12 is very isolated, so they use names they already know, names that are familiar even to us. People are also struggling to get by, so they don’t spend much time getting creative.

Capital: The next location we go to is the Capital, and we spend quite a long time there. Some of the names we run into are Coriolanus, Effie, Cinna, Diana, Tigris, Arachne, Seneca, Caesar, Messalla, Octavia, Venia, Urban, and Portia. Most English speakers have somewhat of a familiarity with these names, though more from stories than from people in real life. There seem to be three different categories of names. Names that are descended from Greek names like Effie, Arachne, Portia, Caesar, and Cinna are good examples. There are Roman names like Coriolanus, Diana, Seneca, and Octavia are good examples.

Finally there are the noun names, or noun variant names. They’re not nearly as common it seems, but Tigris and Urban are good examples. They break the rule of exclusively Roman and Greek names which is a good way not to make the Capitol seem like a monolith.

District One: District One names are extremely distinted, and it’s hard not to notice how odd they seem from the beginning, when Katniss mentioned that the district one female was named Glimmer. Other names include Velvereen, Facet, Augustus, Glimmer, Marvel, Cashmere, and Gloss. We don’t have a wide variety of names but the ones we do have are very telling.

There are fabric names like Cashmere, Facet and velvereen, a variant of velveteen. Adjective names are pretty common too. These seem odd to us, but I find them akin to virtue names.

There is an oddball name there, Augustus. It is a Roman name that seems to fit in with the capitol. This could be reminiscent of name trends changing quickly in such an affluent district as he was the victor in the 67th hunger games, or it could just show the closeness between Distinct One and the Capital, to the point that even the baby names are influenced.

District Two: District two names are also distinct, but it’s harder to place exactly why. Some of them are Cato, Clove, Brutus, Enobaria, Lyme, Cray, Romulus, Pugnax, Sejanus, Marcus and Sabyn. As we can clearly see, most of these are Roman. Cato, Brutus, Enobaria, Romulus, Pugnax, Sejanus, and Marcus. Unlike the capital there don’t seem to be any Greek names.

However there are some odd names in the mix. Clove, Lyme, Cray, and Sabyn. They are quite hard to place. Some are real names, but their meanings don’t fit with the district, so I believe Suzanne Collins took the same route as she did in District three (More information below) where she took career related words and altered them enough just to be unrecognizable. After all District two’s official purpose is masonry. 

Clove is the present tense of the term Cleave. Lyme is most likely a variant on the word Lye, as the only other thing I could find was the disease, which seems unlikely. Cray could either be the English name that already exists, or a variant of clay. 

Sabyn is a bit harder to place, but it seems to be a variant of Sabine, which was a term for people who lived in Rome. It’s not of Roman origin, but it still fits.

District Three: There are only four names to draw from in district three. Beetee, Wiress, Circ, and Teslee. The pattern here is very easy to decipher. They seem to be district career related names, but changed somewhat. Unlike district one names that name their children directly after verbs and nouns very purposefully, district three names are slightly more subtle.

Beetee seems to be based off of the brand name BT. Wiress is clearly based off of Wireless. Circ is a shortened version of Circuit, and Teslee seems to be a variant on Tesla. It’s unlikely that the brands Tesla and BT are still around. They probably just morphed into the language, with the citizens of district three not knowing where they came from, similar to how most people don’t know where names like ‘Mary’ or ‘Zoe’ came from. I’m unsure if Circ and Wiress follow this same pattern, as circuits and wireless seem like they should still exist in the world, but it doesn’t seem purposeful.

District four: District four has much more interesting naming conventions with the names of Mags, Finnick, Annie, Coral, and Mizzen. They seem a little odd, but downright normal. 

Coral and Mizzen seem to be the only names that are fishing or water related. Mizzen is the mast in front of a ship's main mast, and Coral is coral. Even then Coral is a perfectly common name in English, so these conventions don’t seem too related to the career of district four.

However Mags is a variant of Margaret, which means pearl. Finnick means marshland, which is a type of wetlands.

Annie does not have a water related name, simply meaning grace. However the existence of both the names Annie and Mags seems to show that it’s common for district four to use nicknames as full names. That itself is not uncommon with how much time had passed, but it is interesting to point out.

District five: While Foxface is from this district ‘Foxface’ is not her real name, so she doesn’t count. There are theories about her real name, but nothing canonical, so I’m not including her. This is a shame because we only have three names to work with. Hy, Sol, and Porter.

The names are very short compared to the other districts. However they also directly relate to the district’s industry of power. While I find this debatable myself Hy seems to be related to Hydraulic power. A little more obvious is Sol being related to Solar power. Porter seems slightly different, named after a porter cable instead of a direct power source.

There isn’t a lot known about this district, so it’s hard to analyze much further.

District Six: Everything about district six is vague. Even it’s industry, which is transportation, isn’t very specific, and there isn’t much to analyze. The names we have are Otto, Ginnee, and Titus. 

Names seem to be unrelated to the industry, similar to twelve. Furthermore, similar to twelve the names seem to be alterations on well known names. Otto is just Otto, but Ginnee is a variant on Ginny.

Titus is a bit more complicated. It is a Roman name, like the capitol and the second district. This could mean a lot of things. I find it rather likely that do to their purpose as transportation they have the ability to leave, even if only occasionally, and unlike other districts can absorb certain facets of culture like baby names from outside their district. Of course with such a small sample size this is just a theory.

District Seven: District seven is the lumber district, and the names appear to be very reflective of that, though not in the obvious way. If someone were to think of lumber inspired names they’d probably come up with things like Willow, Oak, Leaf, and Ash, or something obvious. Instead we have Treech, Lamina, Johanna, and Blight.

You really have to look into the meanings, but once you do the implications become clear. Treech is a variant on the word tree. Lamina is the blade of a leaf. Blight is a disease that commonly affects trees and plants, which I find it odd to name your kid after, but it still fits.

Johanna isn’t related to trees in any way, instead it is a common English name. It makes sense for English names to still exist, considering that it takes place in what used to be America. Plus it isn’t the only example of this, as Annie from district four’s name also works like this.

District Eight: We actually have a good sample size from district eight, the district in charge of textiles, despite it being a rather minor district in the story. Bonnie, Bobbin, Cecelia, Woof, Twill, Paylor, and Wovey.

As we see with Bonnie, Cecelia, and Paylor the default names seem to be of European origin rather than Roman origin the further the districts are from the capitol. While I don’t believe this is purposeful I don’t believe it’s entirely accidental. With how far they are from the capitol it makes sense that there wouldn’t be much influence, but on the other hand it also makes sense that the little influence there is wouldn’t be purposefully emulated due to the hatred of the capitol.

The other names seem to be industry related as well. Bobbin is a small tool used in a sewing machine. Woof are the crosswise threads in woven fabric. Twill is a type of fabric weave, and Wovey is from the word wove, the past tense of weave.

Bonnie could either be a normal English name, or a variant of the name Bobbin. Variant names are extremely common, and it’s quite natural that they could develop. 

District Nine: District nine is the district of grain, and along with ten we know the least about these two districts. We only have two names to draw from, Panlo and Sheaf, but they are both related to grain.

Sheaf is related directly, as sheaf is the term for when grain is tied together. Panlo is indirectly related, as it is based on the latin word for bread, panis.

District Ten: District ten is the livestock district, but their names don’t seem as related to their industry as the others are. Though we only have three data points to draw from. Brandy, Dalton, and Tanner.

Tanner seems to be the only one directly related to livestock, as Tanner is a career of tanning animal hides. 

Brandy is a type of alcoholic drink, and it’s also already a name. Same as Dalton, which means settlement in the valley.

Unlike the other districts all three of these names are actual names used in modern day life. And unlike other districts with common English names these have a distinctly more modern feel to them.

District Eleven: District eleven names are a personal favorite of mine, though I may be slightly biased because of Rue, my favorite character. We have a decent pool to draw from. Rue, Thresh, Chaff, Seeder, Reaper, Martin, and Dill.

I like the symbolism of Rue. The word Rue in english means regret, however it is also a type of flowering plant. Thresh is either named after the method for separating grain from a plant, or the thrush bird. Chaff is the word for a corn husk separated from the corn. A seeder is a type of tool for seeding the ground. Reaper doesn’t mean grim reaper, instead it’s the term for someone who uses a scythe to reap grain. Dill is also a type of herb.

Martin doesn’t relate to the other names, and seems to fall into the ‘leftover English names’ category that seems to exist in all districts.

District Thirteen: District thirteen is an interesting one. They don’t have an industry, not anymore at least, nor do they have any ties to other districts that could influence their names. We have Alma, Boggs, Homes, Mitchell, Jackson, and York.

The interesting thing about these names is that they’re all surnames. Some can be first names like Jackson and Mitchell, but even those ones originate from surnames.

There has been a trend in recent years of parents using surnames as first names. A few examples of this are Sawyer, Taylor, Sutton, Carter, and Madison.

I’m not entirely sure why this trend developed, but I do have a few theories. District thirteen is very strict and militaristic. In such an environment it’s pretty common to refer to people by their surnames, so it makes sense that surnames would start to leak into first names.

Another theory is that referring to someone by their surname was a sign of respect in district 13, similar to how it is in the real world. It’s possible that either consciously or subconsciously parents started using surnames as first names to bring their children prestige. This happens in real life two. One of the most prevalent examples is parents giving their daughters either masculine or male names in hopes that it would help them in the workforce. Of course in district 13 it seems far more widespread than in real life, but unlike real life district 13 has a noticeable lack of outside influences that could provide a more diverse culture.

Although at the end district 13 was taking in refugees from other districts due to their lack of fertility. Their seemed to be people from multiple districts. There was 10% of the population from 12, at least one boy mentioned from 10 and most likely more, quite a few people from the capital, and while it’s only mentioned that two people tried to get there from 8 and failed it wouldn’t be unlikely to assume that there were a few that succeeded in coming to 13. In the future of the universe it would be interesting to see how this would effect naming culture and the development of new names.

#hunger games #the hunger games #district 12 #district 1 #district 2 #the capitol #name analysis

[i-drink-and-i-write-fics]

She Is The Wilderness

Chapter 4: Making New Friends

Summary:  Logan and Reader start to develop an close relationship as Reader delays leaving the area.

Since the night of your run in with Logan, you kept finding reasons not to finish packing or wander the woods looking for a new cabin location. The wolves could tell something was up and each night they came to look in the window and judge you. Nakia even began to scratch at the door in an effort to get you to come outside. You couldn’t really explain why you kept putting it off and staying around the cabin more.

Then Logan started coming by. It was slowly at first, starting off with bringing you a broken-in, brown leather jacket that felt amazing but was a little big on you. When you looked at him in confusion, he actually blushed as he looked down.

“I felt bad about your favorite jacket so I brought you mine. I figured up here in the woods you may need it more than I do.”

Smiling, you pushed the sleeves up so you could give him a hug. “Thank you, Logan. That was really sweet of you. But really, it’s ok. You don’t need to try to replace my jacket.”

He just shook his head. “If it wasn’t for my stupidity, you’d still have your jacket. Please take this one.”

“Heroic stupidity,” You laughed and hugged him again.

Then he found other reasons to stop by: Piotr had grown too many pumpkins and they had to keep Wade from trying to chuck them at Cable, there were left over scraps from a bbq and he wanted to bring them as a peace offering to the wolf pack, he chopped too much for firewood did you need any? Finally, you told Logan he didn’t need an excuse and that he could come by whenever he wanted just make sure he knocked on the door first, otherwise he would end up like Baby Hands McGee back at the mansion (Wade kept getting either parts or his whole hand ripped off for trying to take your food). Logan laughed and agreed.

What started as randomly stopping by to see if you needed anything turned into dinner at your cabin every Friday night to dinner almost every night at your place. You grew comfortable around each other and began to talk about your pasts. You learned how his claws became metal and how his dick of a brother still showed up from time to time to try to corrupt him again.

You told him how you were from an area now known as Arizona, but when you were born it was barely a territory. Your mother had been Mexican and your father a settler who was supposed to be passing through until he met her. They had to move away from your mother’s town as interracial relationships were illegal back then. You had had siblings, but you were the only mutant of the family and it had hurt to outlive all of them.

You grew close as you ate and talked well into each night, with Logan heading back to the mansion sometime before dawn. Eventually, you started going to the mansion of your own will. With Logan’s help, you brought down several jars of your canned food for the school’s kitchen. You meet each member of the team known as the X-Men as well as some of the students. You could see why The Professor had started the school and really admired him for making such a leap forward for society. He always had a big smile on his face when he saw Logan and you standing together as you passed out things you had brought down from the cabin.

“Thank you, _____ for bringing all this food.” Charles smiled up at you.

“Well, I want to lie and say it would go to waste but something tells me you know why Logan hasn’t been in the mansion for dinner lately.” You both laughed at this.

“You’re good for him, you know? He’s become less isolated around the team and wants to help out more. Maybe you should move down here and join the team. You also manage to be the only one to put the fear of God into Wade.”

You laughed at that, “thank you, but I’m not so sure I’m ready for a move like that. While I do enjoy having Logan around, I’m still not comfortable around larger groups.”

Charles nodded at that, a smile on his face as Logan helped you grab the now empty boxes and head back to the cabin to make dinner. As you cooked, Logan poured you a glass of wine while he helped himself to a beer from the fridge. You talked about his classes and about Charles’ offer for you to move into the mansion.

Logan frowned at this. “As much as it would be nice to see you more often, I like you being here. Gives me an excuse to escape the constant noise and craziness.”

“Yeah, I can imagine being around Wade as much as you are would wear down on your soul after a while.” Laughing, you made your plates and you sat at the table to eat and watched as the day turned to night outside the windows.

“Did you get enough food? There’s still plenty on the stove.”

Logan groaned, “I always end up stuffing myself stupid when I come over here. Why do you have to be such a good cook?!”

You laughed at Logan’s fake pain as you popped a piece of a roll into your mouth. “You can’t fool me with that bitching. Coming over here to eat all my food then brag to the people in the mansion about all the home cooking you’ve been eating. Fucking Wade tried to steal a can of my peaches the other day because of you. How long did it take him to grow that finger back?”

“He’s still on it. Right now we’re all getting flipped off by a baby finger and it’s hilarious.” Logan grinned, clearly pleased with the daily sight of Wade not having a middle finger.

You had moved to the couch and sat in front of the fire place, slightly touching as you relaxed. Logan had an arm slung over the back of the couch behind your head while one of your legs was pressed up to his. Each time he visited, your personal space became smaller and smaller. While you certainly weren’t going to argue it, you also had no idea how to handle it. It had been at least 20 years since your last relationship; you felt rusty as hell and for all you knew you were reading the signals wrong.

Logan broke the silence. “_____, I really enjoy coming here and I really love spending time with you. So few people understand what it’s like to have lived as long as we have and the pain that comes with it.”

“Honestly, I almost didn’t stay. I was so damn annoyed at first with everyone popping up when they damn well pleased like this was a club house. I was actually looking for new places to hide my cabin the night we ran into each other.”

“I’m glad you didn’t leave, and frankly I hope you never do.” Before you could respond, your face was in his hands and he was pressing a gentle kiss to your lips. You easily melted into his touch and you spent a few minutes kissing on the couch.

“Well I can’t really fight an argument like that, now can I?” You asked once you broke apart. “Guess I’ll just have to stay right where I am. As long as you’re staying too.”

“Kid, you’ve got me here as long as you want.” He pulled you in for another kiss.

#fanfic #fan fic #marvel #x-men #she is the wilderness #wolverine #logan howlett #logan howlett x fem!reader #fem!reader #mutant!reader #fluff

[moonbeambucky]

Hey Neighbor (Epilogue)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader Word Count: 3498 Warnings: fluff

Summary: You had a plan and then life came along with one of its own. With your future almost derailed you worked hard to get yourself back on track and finally everything seemed to be going right… that is, until your new neighbor moved in.

A/N: This is it 🥺🥺 I’m so sad we’re at the end but I couldn’t be happier by all of your reactions, even when things weren’t at their best I loved hearing your screams. Now we can all cry together as we say goodbye. Thank you so much for reading their story. Btw I started a Patreon for those who would like to support me. 

HEY NEIGHBOR PART 25 | HEY NEIGHBOR MASTERLIST

Breath fogs the window as you stare out of it, a grey haze has rolled over the city, the sky a sunless landscape of thick clouds and cold winds. It snowed the other day and what remains on the streets has become soot covered or murky slush. It’s nicer to stare at the white dusting on the branches of the trees below, taking in the soft peace of the afternoon.

The world has grown quieter over the past few weeks, your world at least. You can’t say the same for the hoards of people in Times Square, packed like sardines as they count down the hours for the ball to drop.

Graduation was behind you. Nearly two weeks ago you finally crossed that stage to receive your diploma. Technically the real one was still coming in the mail but it’s the symbolism that counted. All of your friends cheered as your name was called, tears of joy and relief welling up in your eyes as you did it– you finally did it!

Wanda hugged you tight afterwards, both of you letting your tears fall. She adjusted your graduation cap, decorated with a lightning bolt for Pietro. It was the first thing you did when you received your garments, to make sure a part of him was with you on such an important day. You left her arms for Peggy and Steve’s, then Sam, Natasha and Clint and then there was Bucky.

He grabbed his crutches, lifting himself up from the chair though you didn’t make him walk. A few steps closed the gap between you and you held him, your arms securing around him as a precaution as he balanced on one leg.

His smile was so beautiful as he murmured, “I’m so proud of you,” holding his gaze before you kissed tenderly, humming against his lips.

You’ve been dating ever since that day in the hospital and life couldn’t be better, especially since you and Bucky laid out some terms. From now on you would always be honest with each other, never holding back your feelings. You were a team who loved and respected each other to talk and more importantly listen.

Bucky managed well on crutches but there were still things he couldn’t do, taking for granted days he could have gone outside for a walk. Sure he had muscles, but his arms were killing him, especially on the days he had to go to the doctor for a checkup. He started physical therapy too, to keep up with strength and flexibility for the rest of his body.

It was exhausting but you were there to help him almost every step of the way. Showering was a pain though Bucky insisted on some independence, wrapping up his cast as he sat on a cold plastic chair that extended over the tub. It made him feel like he had aged 80 years but he got over it.

You did what you could to help him heal but the greatest comfort Bucky found was when you were cuddling together. He cherished those moments the most, when you held him, resting your head against his chest, or when his head was in your lap as he stretched across his couch, your fingers lazily combing through his hair.

It was the quiet moments together, crossing the threshold of intimacy in new ways. This was the slowest Bucky has ever gone since he was in middle school, swallowing a nervous gulp before asking if it was okay to hold a girl’s hand.

Life after had been a blur; his guard up, women in and out, no chance to settle, in and out, no connection, faces blend together, names are nothing more than letters on his phone for a good time, in and out. It was all noise, a constant buzzing in his head until you came into his life.

You’ve opened Bucky’s ears and the noise became sweet music. You’ve opened his heart, the melody it sings is a love song and he’s soaring. He doesn’t waste time on regrets, instead he spends each and every day getting to know you and love you in new ways.  

You celebrated Thanksgiving together, with his parents coming to your apartment so Bucky didn’t have to travel. George brought most of the food over, it wasn’t barbecue but it was just as delicious. And this year you had the time to bake a pumpkin pie.

Your days were spent working at The September Foundation up until graduation. Elena hired you for Metro-General and you start there on the first Monday of the new year. Ideally, you’d like to still volunteer when you can and knowing Tony it’s something he fully supported. Things couldn’t be better.

“Doll, are you ready?”

Bucky’s voice pulled you away from the window and you climb off his bed and into his waiting arms. The basketball shorts he wears reveals his skinny left leg, paler than the other thanks to the dry flakiness he’s still working on remedying. He was in a cast for almost three months and just got it off a few days ago. You went with him, holding his hand as he beared weight on his weak muscle after so long.

He just finished the strengthening exercises he was supposed to do every day and now he needed to shower. You both did actually since tonight was Natasha and Clint’s annual New Year’s Eve party. You pull your shirt off, tossing it somewhere behind you and Bucky follows you to the bathroom. He can shower without his seat now but it doesn’t mean he didn’t want help and you happily obliged. The water ran cold by the time you actually finished and you really didn’t mind at all. Now that Bucky’s cast was off you were looking forward to getting even more physical again.

Though you showered at his place you finished getting ready at yours since you could. Living next door to your boyfriend was obviously convenient. You were able to be together and still have the space you needed. For now it worked though you can see yourself moving in together. A smile stretches across your face when you think of it, Bucky playing his music, no walls in between, a far cry from how things began.

You open your closet to find a dress that would work for the theme of this year’s party which they claimed was winter except they asked all their guests to wear either red or green. You bit your tongue, thinking that sounded more Christmas than winter but you didn’t argue, it wasn’t your party. You pulled out a crimson colored dress that had a beautiful lace overlay. The back was sheer and though it was a little short you felt it was seasonally appropriate with its long sleeves. You finished your hair and makeup, finishing off with gold chandelier earrings and peep-toe heels.

A rhythmic knock rapped at your door and you knew it was Bucky. Opening the door your jaw dropped. Maybe it was the fact that you had mostly seen him in shorts and sweatpants over the last three months, and not that he didn’t make those look good, but the outfit he was wearing now looked incredible. He looked sharp in a juniper green suit with a soft tartan design, a brighter green patterned tie stood out against his light shirt. His shoes were dark brown with a hint of mahogany that reflected in the light and even though he looked amazing you were surprised he didn’t opt for sneakers to be more comfortable with his leg.

“Fuck, you look beautiful,” he spoke first, biting his lip as he looked at you up and down.

He shaved since you left him and your hands went to cup the smooth skin of his cheek. “Not more beautiful than you.”

You pressed your lips to Bucky’s, deepening the kiss with your tongue which was probably a bad idea since it only increased your urge to rip Bucky’s suit off and take him right there. You forced yourself back from him, walking towards your couch to grab your bag.

Bucky followed you as quickly as he could considering walking still felt a little strange. His arms went around your waist pulling you closer to him as his lips began to kiss your cheek, trailing down your neck. You hummed in delight, exhaling stuttered breaths, almost losing yourself to his touch before you pulled yourself out of it.

“We can’t,” you stressed, reluctantly. “We’re gonna be late, come on.”

He sighed acceptingly, waiting for you to unplug your phone and grab your keys. Just before you were ready to leave his arms wrapped around your waist one more time and Bucky spoke before you could say anything.

“I love you, Y/N.”

The swell of your heart reached your lips as you gazed into Bucky’s eyes repeating the same words you’ve known and felt for so long. After another sweet kiss you locked up your place to take the long trip up one flight.

Clint greeted you at the door, his arms pulling you and Bucky into warm welcoming hugs. Unlike his guests, Clint was dressed in a white suit jacket, with black pants and a matching bow tie. He welcomed you into the apartment that was not filled with as many people as you expected.

There were familiar faces in your friends, including Sam who was able to take off this year. Right away Bucky teased him about his red suit calling him Elmo.

“Yeah whatever Kermit. And what about this one?” Sam teased, pointing at Steve. “That’s all you had?”

Steve blushed pink, feeling insecure about his outfit choice, a cozy forest green cable-knit sweater. “Like I’m supposed to have a fruit punch suit in my closet?”

“It’s cranberry and I look good,” Sam declared, smoothing his hands down the front of his jacket.

You let the boys continue to have fun as you said hello to Wanda and Peggy, both looking beautiful in their dresses. “Where’s Natasha?”

They shook their heads. “Haven’t seen her,” Wanda said, heading towards their marble island to grab a drink.

It was decorated with a row of mason jars, each filled a quarter of the way with coarse sugar mimicking crystal snow, with a candle in every other one and a chunk of bright red cranberries and sprays of cedar leaves sticking out of the others.

“But we just got here, so I dunno,” she finished.

You were looking around for familiar guests, surely the partners of her law firm would be coming again. An older woman sat on the couch talking to another unfamiliar face, the back of their heads glowing thanks to the curtain of twinkle lights that decorated the large walls of the living room. In the corner was their Christmas tree, a tall spruce decorated with frosted pine cone garland, matte red ornaments and thick burlap ribbon.

Clint brushed passed you, kneeling in front of the older woman who looked curiously familiar. Nervous energy was pouring off of him, from the way he kept chewing his nails to the constant tremble of his leg. He smiled as he passed you again standing near the door. With Natasha still not in sight you decided to do a little digging, by way of introducing yourself.

You walked over to the woman Clint had been speaking to, standing in front of her and the two people she was mid-conversation with. The man was big, his Santa-like belly was testing the buttons of his red shirt as it stretched across the material. His eyebrows were bushy and his brown hair was long in the front, looking a little messy as if it had been brushed through with only his fingers. He had a long beard that matched the color of his hair though it had a lot more grey in it.

The woman was beautiful. The emerald top she wore brought out the green flecks of her hazel eyes and her red lips drew you right into her beautiful smile. Her dark hair was braided with a crown, the rest of the locks falling onto her shoulders.

You caught their attention, extending your hand with a smile as you introduced yourself. The older woman spoke first, her voice as soft as a songbird as she told you her name, Edith, followed by the fact that she was Clint’s mother. Well, that explains it. You see the similarities now, the glasses she wore didn’t hide the fact that they shared the same eyes. Even her mouth was the same, thin lips that grew into the same beaming smile.

“I’m Melina,” the beautiful woman said with a Russian accent. “This is Alexei.” She pointed to the man who smiled at you. His grip was strong as he took your hand in his meaty paw. “We’re like family to Natalia,” he grinned proudly.

“It’s so nice to meet you all!” you said, sitting beside them to talk all while in the back of your mind your brain was working to put together why they were here. Sure it’s a holiday but family members have never come to Clint and Natasha’s for New Years before. In fact, Natasha doesn’t even have family. The only “family” you knew of would have to come from Russia to–

Holy shit.

You find an acceptable way out of the conversation, rushing over to Bucky and pulling him away from his conversation. Your hands are jittering with excited energy, eyes as wide as your mouth is open.

“Bucky, don’t you see what this is?!”

He looks confused for a moment before his attention is diverted. Bucky looks past you to another unfamiliar person that walked in. It’s a man with brown skin dressed in all black. A dark goatee framed his face and the straps of an eye patch secure comfortably around his hairless head. Though Bucky tried not to stare he couldn’t help but notice the veining of scars stretching out across his temple and cheek. He stands tall and silent with his arms clasped behind his back waiting.

Clint cleared his throat, a nervous smile settling on his face. “Now that everyone’s here I’d like to welcome you to… our wedding.”

Gasps of surprise fill the room with everyone rushing up towards Clint as he tries to field questions, hoping no one was truly mad at the abrupt announcement. “I knew it,” you whispered under your breath, gently slapping at Bucky’s arm.

The man in black walked towards the front of the living room, clearly the officiate who asked everyone to get settled as they were about to begin. Clint knocked once on his bedroom door, before taking his place beside the man who introduced himself as Nick.

A young woman with blonde hair slipped out of the door. She nodded to him, cracking a hint of a smile before she settled next to Melina. A moment later everyone’s eyes were drawn to the sound of the bedroom door creaking open again.

Natasha stepped out looking like a dream, in a floor length shimmering ivory gown that showed off her well sculpted shoulders with its high halter neckline, embellished with beautiful beading. She clutched a delicate bouquet of white roses and winter greens with cranberry sprigs woven throughout. Natasha walked up to Clint without fanfare, just the audible sighs of those around her admiring the back of her dress, dazzling and tasteful cut outs that showed off more of her toned body. The fabric cinched above the small of her back, a small train sweeping around her feet.

She handed her bouquet off to the blonde girl, her “sister” you presumed, remembering an old conversation with Clint. Brushing back a loose tendril from her face, Natasha smiled widely as she stared at Clint, bringing her hands forward to connect with his.

Nick began speaking and you took out your phone to capture a quick picture as the impromptu ceremony began. Bucky’s hand found yours, lacing your fingers together as you watched your friends exchange their vows.

Clint’s hands communicated his words in sync as he spoke them. “Natasha, what more can I say to the person that knows me better than I know myself. Because of you the sun shines a little brighter each day, flowers have a sweeter fragrance and my heart is filled with treasured memories. Even the not so great ones like that time in Budapest that I know we remember very differently.”

A chuckle simmers amongst the small crowd and Natasha dips her head down to laugh.

“Because of you my heart found a home, and like my stomach, it will never be empty...” Clint smiled, taking Natasha’s hands in his. “...because it will always be filled with your love, a love that I promise you I will never let go.”

Natasha sniffs, brushing aside a tear as she gathers her thoughts. “Clint, you’ve given me a second chance in life, you’ve shown me what friendship and love truly mean. I promise to trust and respect you and give you the best of myself. I promise to always fight for you, never against you, to be by your side through whatever life brings. I promise to make sure we always have snacks in the house and to clean up all the stains from your shirts when you drop food on them.”

Clint’s shoulders shrugged with acceptance as he chuckled under his breath, “It happens a lot.”

“Yes it does,” Natasha repeated, smiling wider. She exhaled a deep breath before continuing. “I promise to love you through the good times and bad and to choose our love every single day. You are my best friend, my soulmate and I'm the luckiest person on Earth to be able to call you mine.”

You felt Bucky press a kiss to your temple, leaning his head against you as the ceremony continued. When it was time Alexei dug into his pocket, pulling out the rings. With Nick’s concluding words Natasha wrapped her arms around Clint’s neck, and his held her waist; their love sealed with a kiss as everyone cheered in celebration.

They pulled back from each other, Clint resting his forehead against Natasha’s. He brought his hand up, bending his middle and ring finger into his palm. Natasha did the same, their fingertips touching as they signed “I love you” before turning to face their friends and family.

Edith was the first to hug the newly married couple who made their way through everyone until they got to you. Bucky and Clint hugged as he congratulated them. “I can’t believe this.”

“I can.” Natasha laughed, pressing her cheek to Bucky’s as they hugged. She moved to you and you wrapped your arms around her tightly. “We’ve been planning this wedding for so long it was never going to happen unless we did it this way.”

“It was perfect,” you said, pulling back from your hug with a huge smile. “Congratulations, I’m so happy for you both.”

As the night went on you formally met Yelena, the blonde who Natasha grew up with, and learned about her exciting work. You were in similar fields as she worked to free people of human trafficking, mostly young girls that were to be indoctrinated into radical terrorist groups for forced marriage or even espionage.

Her work was more hands-on as she physically raided underground bunkers or warehouses. It made you feel like you weren’t doing enough even though you knew that wasn’t true. All the years spent working towards your goal reaffirmed that, and in just a few days you’ll officially move into your office in Metro-General, across from Elena’s as you begin doing what you’ve always wanted to do, help people.

You’re lost in a comfortable stare as you look at the Christmas tree, realizing the countdown to midnight had begun.

Ten! Nine! Eight! ...

You turn around, looking for Bucky in the small room that was crowded with everyone standing so close together, huddled around the TV that showed the view from Times Square.

Seven! Six ...

The shimmering ball was descending and you were alone until….

Five! Four! ...

“Hey neighbor…” A voice called and you spun around relieved. Bucky smiled, bringing you close into his arms.

Three! Two! One! Happy New Year!

He leaned in, his lips hovering above yours, pausing as you spoke above the roar of cheers. “Have I ever told you how happy I am that you moved in here?” you purred.

“Every day. It’s like music to my ears.”

Bucky smiled tenderly, sealing the small gap between you, kissing you softly as he poured all the love from his heart out and into yours. Your hearts beat to the rhythm of your own symphony, a song that had a rocky beginning of notes that stretched high and low, but now it was a steady ballad you would continue to create together with your love.

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes fluff

[sofiaaaaaaaa03]

Lively

Summary: Reader enjoys singing to themselves while Din is gone for bounty hunting and one day gets caught.

(I’m new to the app so I lost the message the person sent to me, but here’s the first request I managed to copy before I lost it. I really hope the person enjoys it. I had a lot of fun!)

Request:  My prayers have been answered! Thank you so much for doing this, the lack of Dad!Din Djarin with young adult reader is killing me. Ok, so could you do a one shot the where reader (who is around 17) really enjoys listening to music and singing, but is afraid that it’ll annoy Din since he’s usually so quiet. So when Din is looking for bounty’s, the reader listens to music through her speaker rather than her iPod (or whatever is the space equivalent of an iPod) and just sings her heart out. But Din comes back early to find the reader singing to herself along with the lyrics, and surprises her. I’ve got some song suggestions, you can choose which one can fit the mood of the one shot. I tried to give you a wide range of genres, but not too many songs. Let me know if you need anything. 

Pairs: Dad!Din Djarin x Young Adult Reader

Words: 1,520

A/N : So I got a little carried away and ended up writing a little backstory for the reader because I imagine that they’d be from Earth and still LOVE listening to earth tunes. Like, can you imagine Din’s confusion to most human songs’ lyrics? Anyways, I really hope you guys like it and please request more things for me to write or tell me your thoughts on the story. I’d really appreciate your feedback!!

Ending up in outer space was the last thing you’d expect to happen when you turned seventeen. You thought you would be dealing with high school drama and figuring out where you’d be attending university. Not getting picked up by an alien spacecraft during a camping trip and taken lightyears away from Earth. It was too much for you to handle as you had no clue what was going to happen to you, so you quietly hummed your favorite song to help calm your nerves of whatever impending doom you would face. Though it seemed that you were not meant to face such a fate, when blasting came from the corridor of the ship and what seemed to be an armored knight entered the room, finding you huddled in the corner wearing nothing but your pjs.

You later found out that the knight was known as a Mandalorian while conversing with him under the star lit cockpit of his ship. 

“Never heard of it.” 

“You’ve never heard of Earth?” You looked at him incredulously, shocked at his indifferent tone. 

His helmet humbly shone as he shook his head. “Wherever you’re from, kid, it must be far. Is there anyone you know around the system that can look after you?”

You shook your head. If he didn’t know about Earth then you must be really far from home. This could be why people back home haven’t been able to find any alien life forms. They were so far out of reach that they didn’t know about humans back home. Did that mean you couldn’t go back home? What would you do now that you were stranded?

The Mandalorian looked at you for a moment before sighing. He confessed that he lived with a son who needed to be watched over while he was out pursuing bounties and offered you to stay with him for the time being so long as you watch the child while he was gone. He would also do his best to find any information about this Earth you spoke about and try to return you to your home. By Creed, he’d said. Which confused you at the time though you didn’t try to argue, not wanting to get marooned your first day in space. From that day forward, you began your life with the Mandalorian and his child.

--------

“When are you coming back?” You followed Din as he activated the boarding ramp to lower to the ground. He was off to retrieve another bounty. You could tell by the puck he carried with him. Whoever’s information was in it was not going to have a good day, you were sure of it.  

“End of the day, if things go well.” Din began to make his descent down the ramp, not bothering to turn around and face you. “Close the ramp. You have your coms in case anything happens while I’m gone.”

You watched as the Mandalorian set off for the nearest town, waiting for him to distance himself from the ship before pushing the button that’d close the ramp and heading back inside to get Grogu. You stopped in the middle of the main corridor, looking inside Din’s bunk. Grogu cooed inside the makeshift hammock, sleepy eyed and yawning.

“Din’s gone. You know what that means?” You picked up Grogu and made your way to the cockpit. A small squeal erupted from the small green thing in your arms, causing you to chuckle as the doors to the cockpit opened dramatically.  For a baby he sure was able to understand so much. Plopping onto Din’s seat (something you only had the courage to do when he was gone) you pulled out your phone and began connecting it onto the main board. 

Back on Earth, it was no secret about your love of music. You used to spend hours in your room completely losing touch with reality while you sang your heart out. It was different in space. Though the music to you was foreign and full of languages that were not of your native tongue, you enjoyed them nonetheless and even listened to them using an old datapad you found in the ship. Never aloud though. You were afraid of overstepping your boundaries with the Mandalorian you’d lived with. The fact that he never said much intimidated you enough. You didn’t want to annoy him. Besides, after a long day he deserves to come back home to peace and quiet. 

That didn’t mean that you couldn’t enjoy yourself while he was gone. Oh, on the contrary it became tradition for you and Grogu to turn the Razor Crest into one big speaker while the two of you jammed out to music. As it turned out, Grogu really enjoys the 70s. 

The two of you pranced around the ship for what only felt like an hour, when in reality the suns of the planet had gone down a long time since. Grogu had tired himself out and fell asleep the moment he returned to his little hammock. You, on the other hand, sat in the cockpit where the music was currently playing in. The wires had to be redirected and closed so that the only area the speakers played music in was where you were. Even though Grogu was sleeping, you were far from done listening to music. At the moment, you were singing your heart out to Killer Queen. You had been silently listening to the music before. But with a classic like this it deserved to be sung with. Or at least, that’s how you felt.

Unbeknownst to you, Din was making his way to the ship when he heard sounds coming from within. This worried him for a moment. His instincts told him that someone else was inside and with the kids. Quickly making his way up the ramp, Din upholstered his rifle and scanned the main hull of the ship. A moment passed. The hull showed no signs of struggle. Taking several steps forward Din picked up on the light snoring coming from his son’s hammock. He checked Grogu quietly, careful as to not wake him but still wanting to make sure that he was alright. Comforted to know that his son was safe, Din admitted to himself that he was being too rash with an intruder inside of the ship and took a moment to glance around the vicinity in search of his other ward. Where were you? He checked your empty cot before making his way into the cockpit.

“Didn’t know there were concerts on this ship.” 

“Dank Farrik-” You jumped out of your seat, startled by Din’s clapping that had interrupted your vibes. You were too busy singing to hear the Mandalorian’s steps as he entered the hull. “I didn’t hear- how long were you watching?” 

Din made his way beside the main chair, placing a hand on the headrest. “Long enough to know you messed with my cables. How’d you learn to do that?” 

“Peli taught me some things last time we were with her.” Your ears burned hot. “She thought it’d be useful to learn in case you needed an extra set of hands.”

You stared at anything but Din, still embarrassed from the startle he gave you. With his helmet on it was virtually impossible to look at him and tell what he was thinking. To know if he was annoyed. If he was upset at you for messing with his ship, he certainly didn’t show it. Was he going to kick you out? Leave you stranded? You sighed, closing your eyes and waited for him to say something.

A chuckle emitted from Din’s helmet. “Y’know, I was wondering where that song was from.”

You opened your eyes, tilting your head at him questionably. “What do you mean?”

“I mean,” He sat on the co-pilot’s seat, leaning forward and resting his elbows on his knees, “Grogu has been mumbling some sort of uh… song whenever he doesn’t see you around. I always assumed that it was his way of calling for you. Didn’t really know where he’d gotten it from, until now.”

A large smile found itself on your face. 

“Really?” Din nodded. “He really loves Earth music, yknow.”

“He doesn’t do a bad job mimicking it either.” A pause. “You two should play it more often when we’re travelling. It’d certainly make the place more…”

“Lively?” You added with a smirk.

Din hummed, nodding at your words. “Yeah, kid. Lively. Alright, out of the chair. We gotta hit hyperspace for our next commute.” He ruffled your hair and chuckled at you swiping at his hands. You settled in the co-pilot’s chair while he positioned himself on the pilot’s chair, grabbing your phone and staring at it for a moment. Its wires remained connected to the ship’s board. 

“Here.” He handed the phone to you. “I’d like to learn more about your music...if that’s alright with you.”

You smiled, hitting shuffle on the playlist and listened to the music flood into the cockpit. You didn’t fail to notice Din’s foot tapping to the beat of the song. 

#din djarin #din #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian #star wars x reader #star wars #din djarin x reader #dad!din #grogu #the mandalorian x reader #y/n #din djarin x y/n

[tinyboxxtink]

"Weird Secret Friends" *Chapter 14*

Chapter 13

Chapter 15

This chapter literally took me all day, and it's kinda super long, but since I'm only going to 15 it had to be done. Also, I wanted to get a certain part and all the bullshit detail action needs to be written before we get there so I just kept writing to get there. Lulz.

Tag List

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@wanniiieeee

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@gibbs274

@sassyada

@aprildecker-blog

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

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@shittanyy

@mrsrafaelbarba

Okay and can I just say about the Goodbye Love thing it was in my head since I had her say "I need to go away".

This was supposed to be the preview:

Mimi Please don't touch me Understand I'm scared I need to go away

Mark I know a place - a clinic

Benny A rehab?

Mimi Maybe - could you?

Benny I'll pay

And this is for chapter 15: Mimi Goodbye love Goodbye love Came to say goodbye, love, goodbye Just came to say Goodbye love Goodbye love Goodbye love Hello disease....

*DUN DUN DUNNNN*

---------------------

The next thing you knew you were waking up in another room. This one was more lavish and beautiful; the sunset was peeking through green silk curtains with a matching chaise lounge. You were now in pink silk pajamas as opposed to a hospital gown, and you weren’t hooked up to near as many wires. Just a pack attached to your arm linked to your sides.

“What the…?” You cautiously crept out of bed, examining the room.

So many questions flew through your mind at that moment. How did you get here? Where exactly were you? Who the hell changed you while you were passed out? It was too much to imagine. You walked over to the full length mirror and examined yourself. You were still semi pale, but you looked pretty damn good for just having surgery this morning.

You walked back towards your bed where your phone was laying on the nightstand. You went to check your messages when you saw the date-- it had been three days. THREE DAYS?

“What the actual fuck--?” You muttered.

Were you in a Black Mirror episode? How did you lose three whole days of your life?! You began to panic, making you pace the room. Wasn’t there a button you could do? You quickly looked around the room for anything, but all you found was a TV remote.

“Oh are you fucking--” You started to curse the world when you saw a little drawing of a nurse on one of the buttons. You frantically pushed it until a girl who looked like she was a nurse out of a porno as opposed to a hospital came running in.

“Oh my god, I thought you were like, dying or something,” She rolled her eyes and twirled her hair like she was a teenage stereotype.

“Where the hell am I? Why am I---”

“Okay you need to like, chill babe,” Nurse Betty put her hands up. “

“I’m not your babe, mmkay pumpkin? We are not friends,” You pushed her hands down. “Now why don’t you get your little chart and explain to me what’s going on in the Twilight Zone?”

“Alright, well--” She whipped out a mini tablet from her scrubs and flipped through it. “You got here three days ago with an order to keep you in a medically induced coma-- Ooooh, wow that sounds like some soap opera shit. Where your organs harvested on the black market?”

“WHAT?” You grabbed the tablet. That DID sound like some soap opera shit. “You read the tablet, all it said was the details about the coma and then FILES SEALED.

“Can you-- unlock this, please?” You shoved the tablet back in her hands.

“Um no, you need a supervisor for that babe,”

“Can you please get someone to unlock this then, BABE?” Your eye began to twitch from stress.

“Yeah, sure I’ll try,” She shrugged and walked back out of the room. You continued to pace faster now, googling “HARVESTED ORGANS ON THE BLACK MARKET”, when a doctor came in wearing navy blue scrubs, looking like Derek Shepherd.

“Well hey there, beautiful,” He grinned at you.

“...What is happening?” You muttered, staring at him. He was gorgeous, you’d probably be more flustered if you weren’t so freaked out and pissed off.

“What kind of soap opera hospital is this?!” You scowled.

“Hey, just because we take care of ourselves around here doesn’t mean it’s Grey’s Anatomy up here,” He made a face.

“...Could’ve fooled me, McDreamy,”

“....Just because my name is Derek doesn’t mean I’m that tool,” He frowned.

“Oh my god you’re kidding me right?” You had to laugh at the irony.

“You’re probably just grumpy because you haven’t eaten for three days,” He patted your head. “How about a nice filet mignon?”

“Wha…?” You looked around the room in disbelief. “How about you tell me where I am and how I got here?”

“You’re at Whistling Pines Hospital and Rehabilitation Center in Hartford Connecticut, Miss Y/N,”

“Connecticut?!” You gasped. “Sonny said it was just upstate New York. Jesus Christ he sent me out of state?!”

“Calm yourself,” Derek put a hand on your shoulder. “We’re basically on the state line, Mr. Carisi didn’t send you to Siberia,”

“...And why exactly was I brought here against my will?” You crossed your arms.

“Against your will?” He snorted. “Your paperwork says you requested to be out while you recovered so you wouldn’t be tempted to ask for pain meds or anything. Part of the detox, you understand,”

“Detox?” Your face scrunched. “Seriously? So...so now what, you escort me down to the padded room now that I’m healed?”

“No, no of course not,” He shook his head. “Our rehab rooms are much nicer than this. And yours is all ready for you,”

“....Yeah, alright,” You shrugged, looking around the room.

“Wonderful,” He gave you another 100 watt smile before opening the door and motioning you to follow him. You walked for a while through what seemed like a normal hospital wing, then you came to two large doors that said “REHABILITATION WING”.

Derek opened it and let you go through first, into a beautiful lobby. The walls were made of marble, there was a koi pond with a waterfall in the middle of it, sparkling water stations next to big leather chairs. It was like a spa.

“Wow...” You whispered as you admired it while you walked.

“Yes, I know,” He chuckled. “It’s quite impressive, isn’t it?”

“Yeah…” You began to feel guilty; how much was this costing Sonny? This place looked like it cost the down payment on a house to stay in. You followed Derek down a hallway that looked like a hotel room hallway more than a rehab center, until he stopped at a door labelled 312.

“Ah here we are,” He opened the door and let you go inside first once again. It was an even more lavish room than you woke up in. A nice king bed with fluffy pillows and silk comforters were covered with extra blankets if you needed them. There was a huge sofa in front of a large screen TV, and a little kitchenette with a small fridge, cabinets, a dishwasher, and a microwave.

“....Wow,” You continued to stare in awe at the luxurious amenities this place had.

“Indeed,” Derek smiled. “Now, the TV comes loaded with digital cable and all the streaming services. Our WIFI password is LIVELAUGHLOVE, the fridge is stocked with organic, healthy foods only, but if you’d like to request something you can give our front desk a ring,”

You just nodded as you checked out the room.

“Now,” He cleared his throat. “For the icky part,”

“...The icky part?” You sputtered with a sarcastic smile. “Where did you go to medical school, Sesame Street?”

“Ha ha,” He rolled his eyes. “You will need to stay in your room at all times unless it’s social time, or group time. We do have several common areas such as a pool and a gym, but you’ll need to schedule times to use them, you can’t just walk around on your own,”

“Ah,” You nodded. “So it is a prison, just a very nice prison,”

“It’s not a prison, Miss Y/N,” He shook his head. “Not for you, anyway,”

“Really? Because it sounds like--”

“Your cousin did pay for your residency here, but you’re not under a court order or anything so you’re not confined here. Most of our residents have to be here several months before they’re even allowed out of their rooms at all, you should consider yourself lucky,”

“...Right,” You rolled your eyes. “Where is my cousin, anyway?” You asked. “Is he back at the hospital in New York?”

“Excuse me?” He looked at you in confusion. “I’m not sure I understand,”

“Oh I guess it’s been a few days,” You thought out loud. “He must have gone home by now,”

“...Well I’d sure hope so,” He chuckled.

“So..” You took a seat on the couch. “What am I doing now, warden?”

“Well like I said, I can have food sent up to you if you’re hungry,” He explained as he handed you your own tablet. “We have these for you so you can browse our menu for food and amenities,”

“Mmmkay…”

“Tomorrow’s social time is at 10 am, and your group therapy is at noon,”

“..Uh huh,” You nodded as you absent mindedly flipped through the menu.

“It’s mandatory,” He added.

“...Right,”

“Wonderful,” He beamed. “Now your bathroom is there, obviously,” He nodded to a door on the other side of the room. “It has a shower with three different pressures, and a spa bathtub. I recommend you take a long hot bath and relax, the first night is usually the hardest to get used to.

“Right…”

“Alright well I’ll leave you to it,” He nodded at you with another dreamy smile.

He walked out and left you to your own devices. You walked over to the drawers and pulled them out. They were full of your clothes, how did they get these so fast? It was so bizarre all of this happened while you were out, it really did seem like some kind of episode out of Dynasty or something.

You decided to call Sonny and get some things sorted out. You picked up your phone and dialed his number and let it ring.

“Oh hey...you, how you feelin’?”

“I’m good,” You went and sat on the bed. “How are you feeling?”

“Me? I’m good,”

“Really? Not sore or anything?”

“What? OH-- Yeah, y’know, of course, obviously,”

“...Thanks so much for this, Sonny. It’s gorgeous here,”

“Anytime….sweetie,”

“Is um, is Rafael doing better? Do you know?”

“Uh he’s...he’s fine, I’m sure,”

“...Well that’s good,”

“I’ll be up there next week to see you, you hang in there okay?”

“...Yeah, alright,”

“Night darlin’, you sleep well. I love you,”

“Love you too,”

Sonny hung up the phone and glanced over at Rafael who was busy writing his closing arguments for their case tomorrow.

“....Who was that?” He raised an eyebrow.

“Niece,” He lied.

“Mmm,”

“...How are you feelin’, by the way Barba?”

“Carisi, we’re not discussing anything personal, ever again. I told you that,” He grumbled, not looking up from his desk. He winced in pain every so often when he pulled on his stitches while writing.

“...Right,” He nodded sadly. He did feel guilty about all of this, but he knew in a few weeks it wouldn’t matter. You’d both forget about each other and move on, it was for the best.

--------

The next day you woke up and felt this overwhelming sense of dread. It was like everything had finally caught up to you, all the memory of how you got here came back to you. You missed Rafael almost immediately, Sonny’s words about how you had traumatized him rang in your head.

You wanted so desperately to call him and apologize, tell him how you would have never hurt him on purpose, and that all you wanted to do was make it up to him-- but you knew you had no way of doing that, and there was nothing you could do about it.

Your tablet began to go off, alarms for SOCIAL TIME were set on it. You tried to turn it off, but apparently a counselor had to do it when you arrived. Sneaky bastards. You sighed and pulled on some PJ pants, trying to ignore the blaring sound. You stomped out of your room and down the hall, down some stairs to a huge room labelled “REC ROOM.”

“Welcome Y/N!” A bright and cheery nurse came over and greeted you. “We have lots of activities for you here,” She began to show you around. “We have arts and crafts, several board games, and the Cards Against Humanity rounds get quite rowdy!”

“...Right,” You nodded softly, feeling more and more hopeless as you saw all the other “residents” mingling-- and by mingling, meaning most of them were walking around like soulless zombies. Was this your life now?

----

One Week Later

“Hey…” You saw Rafael laying down in front of you, reaching out for your hand. You took it, not believing this was real.

“I love you, Y/N…” He smiled at you, his green eyes sparkling.

“I love you too Rafael..”

You shot up in bed, it happened again. You had been having the same dream ever since you had gotten to Whistling Pines. It felt so real, especially when you touched his hand. And you always woke up alone, stuck in your prison. Never to see Rafael ever again; It was torture. No matter how fancy the prison was, it was still a prison. You looked at the clock on your bedside table- 3:30 am. You wondered what Rafael was doing at that moment-- well, probably sleeping, duh. Or maybe he was up late, working on law stuff.

You wondered if he was thinking about you, if he ever thought about you. He didn’t seem angry the last time you saw him, in fact you were pretty sure you remembered him holding you and crying. Well, like Sonny said he was probably just upset having to see someone like that again. But-- something inside told you that you didn’t leave on bad terms. Maybe you had been too quick to just delete and block his number. But it was too late to do anything about that now. You laid back down and cried yourself back to sleep for the fifth time that night.

=============

Two weeks later

Sonny drove up to Hartford early Friday morning, hoping to get back to the city that night. He signed in at the front desk, muttering obscenities under his breath. He paced the lobby waiting for you, trying to keep his calm. Finally you emerged from the big double doors: You were dressed in a t-shirt that used to be tight, but now it draped on your shoulders. Your hip hugger jeans were more like men’s jeans, hanging off your pelvis. Your hair was pulled into a messy ponytail and you had no makeup on. You walked over to Sonny who crossed his arms at the sight of you.

“Hey, Sunshine…” He pulled you into a tight hug, your face barely moved into a small smile.

“Can we talk?” He asked as he led you to one of the leather couches.

“Sure,” You nodded like a robot as you sat next to him.

“So Sunshine,” He sighed. “They tell me you haven’t uh, been doin’ so hot,”

“Oh, have they?” You mumbled, playing with a hole in your jeans.

“Yeah they said you’re not eating, you skip the group, you won’t talk to anybody,” He put a hand on your knee. “Is everything okay? Is it your new liver? The diabetes kicking yer ass?”

“...No, I’m fine,” You shrugged feebly.

“....Seriously?” He removed his hand, his soft tone gone. “So, nothing’s wrong with you physically? You’re just being a brat?”

“Excuse me?” You suddenly blinked in surprise.

“Here I came up here because I was worried somethin’ was really wrong with you, like you were rejecting the donation or-- or the trauma was too much, but you’re tellin’ me you just won’t cooperate?” He snapped at you.

“...What do you want me to say, Sonny? Sorry?” You snarked back.

“I want you to tell me why!” He tried not to yell but this was ridiculous. “Do you know how expensive this place is?!”

“Oh wow,” You scoffed. “Well I’m sorry my recovery is so expensive for you, Son,”

“It’s not even recovery, Y/N! You’re-- You’re just laying around here like a fuckin’ angsty teen!” He barked. “Why aren’t you trying? Don’t you wanna get outta here and get back to your life?”

“Maybe I don’t!” You yelled and stood up. “Maybe I don’t care about getting out of here, or not. There’s no point anymore,”

“What?” Sonny furrowed his brows. “Why not?”

“...Because,” You looked down at the floor.

“Oh for fuck’s sake…” Sonny threw up his hands, finally standing up himself. “Is this about Barba, really Y/N? You knew him for a few fuckin’ days, gimme a fuckin BREAK,”

“He was wonderful to me, Sonny! He was wonderful and loving and caring and YOU made me go off on him, and then I--” You paused, tears caught in your throat. “I fucking traumatized him. I hurt him so badly he didn’t even want to see me when i was dying,”

“I mean-- how bad of a person am I?!” You tried not to break down in the lobby. “I shouldn’t be allowed to be around anyone anymore, I just destroy things. Hurt people. I shouldn’t be around anyone,”

“Oh Jesus Christ,” Sonny sighed. “You need to stop, alright? If you actually tried to get better, you wouldn’t--”

“I don’t want to get better!!!!” You flat out stomped your foot, not caring about making a scene now.

“Y/N, tough love time. You need to get your shit together and forget about Barba, alright? I can’t keep paying for you to stay here--” He put both hands on your shoulders.

“So let me out,” You glared at him.

“....And if I let you out, are you going to stay sober?” He gave you a suspicious look.

“Nope,” You said with a smirk.

“Y/N come the fuck on,” He threw up his hands.

“What?” You crossed your arms. “I’m being honest. So either you keep wasting your money here, or let me go,”

“And what, let you kill yourself?” He asked angrily.

“...Maybe,” You muttered.

“Sunshine, come here--” Sonny went to wrap you in a hug, his t-shirt caught up on yours causing it to pull up on his torso. Your eyes went wide when you caught sight of it, letting go of him.

“....Where’s your scar?” You blinked in disbelief, trying to wrap your head around what you were seeing.

“What?” He began to panic.

“Your scar,” You pulled your t-shirt to reveal your own scar from the transplant. “You should have one,”

“Oh, Um--” Sonny began to rack his brain for an explanation, but your brain was moving faster.

“.....You didn’t give me part of your liver, did you?” You pulled away from him.

“Uh well--” He sighed “Not exactly, no,”

“Then who did?” You eyed him accusingly.

“They got you an anonymous--”

“Oh don’t even give me that shit, Sonny,” You stopped him. “This-- this whole thing, when I got here. It felt so much like, like a set up. A soap opera plot,”

“A soap opera?” Sonny laughed. “Come on Sunshine, don’t--”

“Why did you ship me here so fast, Sonny?” You asked, your brain now on a roll.

“What?” He half laughed. “So that you could get started early--”

“No,” You stopped him. “You could have just let me come here on my own, CONSCIOUS,”

“Well I just wanted you to skip the DT’s--” He tried to think of a defense.

“DT’s don’t happen to you if you get drunk ONCE, Sonny!” You raised your voice.

“Well how was I supposed to--” He looked around nervously.

“Who really gave me their liver, Sonny?” You narrowed your eyes.

“I told you, I don’t--” He began to lie again.

“I’ll look it up,” You threatened, making his eyes go wide.

“Y-You can’t do that,” He protested.

“Why wouldn’t you want me to?” You challenged him.

“...Because--”

“Rafael did, didn’t he?” You weren’t letting him think of any more lies.

“Look Y/N, he just wanted to help you out so that you wouldn’t die, like his dad. He couldn’t save him so he saved you. Doesn’t that sound like him?”

You had to admit, it really did. But why lie about it?

“So why didn’t you tell me that, Sonny? Why tell me you did it? Why didn’t you just tell me he did it to be nice, and not that he hated me?”

“I never said he hated you--”

“If you lied to me about that, what else have you been lying to me about?” You put your hands on your hips.

“What?”

“Oh my god…” You started to remember your recurring dream. “It was real, it was real. I know it was real!”

“...What was real?” His eyebrows furrowed.

“I keep having this dream where Rafael is across from me lying on a table, and he tells me that he loves me. And I know that happened I know it did,” You explained.

You were absolutely sure of it now. So many thoughts were running through your mind, you hated that you didn’t remember any of this before.

“What?” Sonny laughed again. “Sunshine it’s just a dream, don’t you think you would remember something like that?”

“They...they gave me something before I went into the OR,” You looked off into nowhere as you tried desperately to recall that morning. “The nurse called it…’giggle juice’,”

“Giggle juice?” Sonny rolled his eyes.

“Did you make them give me that too?!” You went for his collar, but a nurse came out of nowhere to hold you back.

“Wha who whoa, Sunshine calm down,” Sonny waved the nurse off of you. “I got her, thanks ma’am,”

“I didn’t tell them to give you anything,” He said softly.

“Yeah, just to keep me out for three days so I wouldn’t ever see Rafael before you sent me here,” You accused him.

“...Not true…” He shook his head.

“Why wouldn’t you want me to talk to him, Sonny?” Tears choked your throat.

“He didn’t want to talk to you--”

“Bullshit!” You stomped your foot, eyeing the nurse who had her eye on you in case you lost it on Sonny again.

“Bullshit, were you scared he was going to tell me what you were really doing? That you were trying to keep us apart?” Tears began dripping from your cheeks. You couldn’t believe this was happening, you couldn’t believe you could have been with Rafael this entire time.

“No!” He protested, his eyes darting back and forth. “No, I--”

“I don’t believe you!” You pushed him, the nurse stepped forward but you put your hands up in defeat. “You’re keeping him from me right now, aren’t you?”

“What?”

“That’s why you sent me so far, he has no idea where I am, and he wants to know doesn’t he? He wasn’t traumatized by my ‘incident’, he’s traumatized he lost me!” You hated that you cried when you got angry, it made you so much less intimidating.

“Traumatized is a strong word, Y/N…” Sonny rolled his eyes.

“Y’know what Sonny,” You shook your head while you wiped your eyes. “I’ll make you a deal. You bring Rafael here, and I’ll try to get better,”

“...I can’t,” He looked at the floor.

“Wha--Are you serious?” You half laughed sarcastically. “You’d rather me rot in here than--”

“I don’t know where he is, Y/N,” He looked up at you seriously.

“...What?” You asked, not wanting to know the answer.

“He…” He rubbed the back of his neck. “He left,”

“What do you mean ‘he left’?” You air quoted left.

“He went on some campaign trail, Hilary I think. He took off across the country, I literally have no idea where he is right now,” He explained.

“Why would he do that?” You asked.

“I don’t know, he said he had to get out of the city--” He shrugged.

“And you couldn’t imagine why?” You gave him a knowing look.

“Oh puh-lease Y/N, he’s not a drama queen like you--” He stopped, thinking about it. “Okay well he might be a drama queen but--”

“You can call him,” You pointed to his pocket.

“I can’t,” He looked down at the ground once again.

“WHY NOT?!” You were getting fed up with him.

“He was….he was super pissed at me for keeping you apart, alright? You’re right. He...he changed his number when he took off, he wants nothing to do with me,”

“So he’s just...gone?” Your voice cracked.

“Sunshine, I promise you. In a few weeks you won’t care about him, and you’re gonna wanna get out of here,”

“Why, you're gonna start adding memory pills to my regiment too?” You scoffed with angry tears in your voice.

“Jesus,” He rolled his eyes. “No, because you’re 22 and you can fall in and out of love like that,” He snapped his fingers.

“No I won’t,” You shook your head. “You’re gonna have to let me out of here or I’ll die in here,”

“God you’re such a--” Sonny sighed in frustration. “I can get them to get you to eat, y’know that right?”

“Do it!” You dared him. “Start treating me like some kind of mental patient, control my life like you think you need to,”

“...I can’t deal with this,” He waved his hands and started to walk away. “I’ll be back in a few weeks, I’m sure you’ll be over this by then,”

“Don’t count on it,” You stomped back into the ward.

-----------------

A week later

You let the night nurse into your room, she brought your meds and a nightly snack.

“Well, are you excited for tomorrow?” She asked, making conversation.

“...What’s tomorrow?” You asked as your downed your pills.

“Your last day!” She smiled.

“...What?” You quirked an eyebrow.

“Well, honey you’re not here on a court order or probation, and your cousin only paid for 30 days. So, you’re leaving tomorrow!”

“You’re just...you’re just letting me go??” You asked in disbelief.

“You’re not happy about that? I’m sure we could talk to your--” She started.

“No!” You stopped her. “No, No I’m totally excited, ready to get back to real life,”

“Good!” She smiled and patted your head. “Make sure you’re all packed, we’ve already filled this room once you leave,”

“...Of course you have,” You rolled your eyes.

She left and you began to frantically pack, ready to get out of here as fast as possible. You would find Rafael on your own, you knew you could.

----------

Sonny’s phone went off while he was out on a call, he saw it was Whistling Pines so he excused himself from the scene and answered it.

“Hello?”

“Yes, Mir. Carisi? This is Sylvia at Whistling Pines, we were just checking on Miss Y/N,”

“....Why would you be checking on her? Don’t you have her?”

“...No sir, she checked out a few days ago,”

“WHAT?!”

“Well it had been 30 days and you had only paid for a month--”

“So you just let her leave?! Why would you do that?!”

“Well sir, for one she’s a grown woman who’s a law abiding citizen, she wasn’t committed here by any kind of law enforcement. And like I said you only paid--”

“For a month,” He growled. “That’s all that matters to you people, isn’t it?”

“Well sir, this is a very expensive--”

“Where did she go?”

“What do you mean where did she go? She left with you,”

“Uh she sure as hell did NOT,”

“...Well she got in a car with a man…”

“Oh my god,” Sonny almost dropped the phone. “I swear to God if something happens to her because of you people I will sue you SO fast--”

“Okay no need to get hysterical,” She began to panic. “Why don’t you just come here and we’ll figure it out…”

“No I think you’ve done enough,” He growled before hanging up on her.

Where the hell had you gone? And with who?!

#rafael barba #rafael barba angst #rafael barba x you #rafael barba x reader #rafael barba fanficton #rafael barba imagine #law and order svu #law and order svu fanfiction #sonny carisi #sonny carisi fanfiction

[tobesobri]

Bust | Part One: Chisel (7.8k)

“Disappointed?” She tilted her head, smirking at him. She had no right to think he liked her better than Rose. She, herself, liked Rose better too. So she was sure he had to be at least a little bit sad to see Rose missing.

He smiled and the second she saw those dimples she was reminded of his Instagram all over again.

“A little,” he nodded, pinching his thumb and index finger together in the air and she painfully agreed.

“Well, you get me all by myself tonight.” She didn’t realize how it sounded until it was too late. Until she was cringing at all the sexual insinuations she’d just made for absolutely no reason. She could have said something else that wasn’t laced in an innuendo. But no, of course not. She had to continue her embarrassing streak when it came to Harry.

Instead of being creeped out by her, however, and pulling a confused and slightly terrified face, he laughed. And, on God, his laugh was the most amazing thing she’d ever heard. This wasn’t the first time the sound of his laughter graced her eardrums, but it was the first time he was laughing because of something she said that wasn’t about crooked penises.

“Lucky me.”

In which Y/N is an annoyance in Harry’s sculpting class.

story masterlist | my masterlist

It’s not her forte. Her hands don’t know how to hold onto things. They tremble under pressure. They mess things up no matter how hard she tries.

Not that she had really tried very hard to begin with.

Sculpting was just not something she saw herself doing. Ever. Not with her lack of agility and poor attention to detail. But to appease her whining best friend… she’d do just about anything.

The class was held in a little art studio with large windows for ventilation and tall ceilings to display the mass amounts of student artwork on butcher block shelves. She never thought she’d be back in a classroom type setting after graduating college, but here she was.

Learning, what she proclaimed as, a useless skill.

The studio was smack dab in the middle of an inclined street. Little quaint buildings that sat on an angle because why not pour foundations on a hill and make her weekly walks to the studio a little sweatier than she would have preferred. Even if it was winter in their little beach village town. Sweat still happened. It just happened underneath a scarf and a hand-knitted beanie from the sewing shop next door.

She could not deny, however, that the late afternoon classes every Wednesday and Saturday brought her way more joy than she’d anticipated. She looked forward to meeting up with Rose at the bottom-of-the-hill cafe, sharing the daily special with her before making their way up to the studio. It was calm in the middle and end of her hectic weeks that she most definitely needed.

What she didn’t need, however, what she most certainly did not look forward to, what she could have done without, what took her joy and smashed it against a wall was him.

The instructor.

Harry ‘I have nice hands and a misleading smile’ Styles.

It had only been two weeks into their classes and he had already told her one of her bowls was garbage. That the way she sculpted a face was terrifying. That she couldn’t draw for shit and that made her attempts at sculpting even worse.

So by Saturday of their second week, she didn't care anymore. He was a jerk and she would be the best pain in his ass she knew how to be.

While everyone called him Harry, like he’d asked them to the very first day, she called him Mr. Styles. Just to see the way his eyes rolled back into his head and his nostrils flared. While everyone asked him insightful questions, like what glaze was best to use or what tool sculpted eyes most efficiently, she asked him if she could use the bathroom.

She got a fucking kick out of irritating him. Knowing he went home after their classes just as irritated as she’d been. With clenched fists and a pounding headache.

It helped that he was insanely too attractive to be teaching a bunch of millennials about sculpting in his free time.

“You should really leave him alone, he might kick us out, you know,” Rose said on their first third week walk up Justice Hill. There was no justice in walking uphill, and most fucking certainly not in the humidity-ridden beachside town. She found the street name personally offensive.

“Oh fuck him. If he kicks us out, he’ll have to refund us.” Y/N did not, even for a second, bother to lower her voice as they neared the studio, knowing any one of the other students could hear her if they were to walk by.

“Refund us what? We got the class for free, remember?”

Y/N racked her brain like she’d completely forgotten that little detail before shrugging it off. “Whatever. He won’t kick us out.”

“How do you know for sure?”

Before she could make some stupid remark about how Harry secretly liked her pestering him or about how much he seemed much too impressed by Rose’s progress to ever get rid of them, the devil himself turned the corner in front of them.

He came out from an alleyway that connected the street to a tiny parking lot. And while they were going uphill, he was coming down. He was hard to miss and so were they, but still he attempted to not see them.

“What a prick,” Y/N mumbled under her breath as they got closer to each other. And almost as if he could read her lips, he rolled his eyes so fucking hard she thought maybe they’d finally pop right out of his head this time.

“Shush,” Rose warned as the three of them finally met in the middle, at the door to the studio that was decorated with a bright yellow ‘Open’ sign, children’s drawings, hand-painted hours of operation, and one too many polaroids of past students and their sculpting creations.

They all stood and stared at each other for a moment before he opened the door first, holding it as, to Y/N’s surprise, he let them go in first. And while she was still in shock at the gesture, his body language said it all. Like he was forcing himself to be nice to the dynamic duo, to the bane of his existence. While she was too distracted by Harry and his clay-stained trousers and cable-knit sweater with a cartoon deer embroidered on it, Rose walked into the studio first. Giving Harry a polite smile that he returned almost… genuinely.

And right when Y/N made a move to follow, Harry stepped in front of her. She jolted back as he just about let the door slam her in the face.

Today was going to be fantastic.

*                                              *                                 *

“Right, so,” Harry began, clapping his dry hands together as he took a seat behind his messy table at the front of the studio. “I know some of you haven’t finished your heads yet, but our focus today will still be on the bodies. We’ll have a catch up on Saturday to make up for it.”

Y/N sought out her head on the wall where she’d placed it last week beside Rose’s, realizing for the first time just how ugly it really was. And to think she’d been trying to sculpt Harry’s annoying face. Even more annoying that no matter what she did, he was always a lot more handsome than her hunk of polymer clay.

“... because, like I mentioned, we have special guests today who will be modeling for you.” Harry stood again while two very thin and very conventionally perfect people came out in white robes. Y/N couldn’t help but gag.

“This is Hope and Jordan.” Harry motioned as he introduced them, not getting any further in his instructions before Y/N raised her hand in the back of the class.

Rose attempted to get her to put it down, too, because Harry was clearly in the middle of something, but it didn’t really work out so well. Y/N was a stubborn son of a bitch.

“Yeah?” He pointed at her, sighing while planting his hands on his hips. He knew nothing she had to ask was going to be at all beneficial to the group.

She cleared her throat and just from the smirk on her face, he braced for impact. “Are they going to be modeling nude?”

She made just about everyone blush, except for Harry. He hated how she never took anything seriously. That the art he’d spent years perfecting enough to teach meant nothing to her. It was all just a primary school joke in her eyes.

“Yes, actually,” he answered bluntly and then returned to what he was going to say before Y/N’s interruption. “So I want everyone to get a piece of paper and while they’re modeling, do a rough sketch of what you might want the body of your sculpture to look like. The importance is to get the proportions down so that when you use the clay, you’ll know how much you’ll need for each part. Just like we did for the heads.”

Harry walked around the class once the models were stripped and the sketching began. Rose started immediately, concentration on her face as she flipped between the female model and her piece of sketchbook paper.

All Y/N had was a scratch piece of grey-toned mixed media paper she’d found laying on their table. And absolutely no clue where to even begin.

She stared at Harry instead of the naked models, watching as he helped others around the room, pointing at their sketches and where they could improve. His other hand behind his back that gave her perfect access to stare at his rings. Remembering how he’d taken them off guide their first few sculpting lessons. Remembering how his hands had so gently but so fucking firmly caressed the mound of clay into the exact shapes he wanted like he knew exactly what to do with those things.

“See it’s going just as I expected back here.” When his voice was at her ear, she jumped out of her skin and out of her daydreams. Twisting her head around to him as he stood behind her, she found him staring over her shoulder at her blank piece of paper.

She narrowed her eyes at him once she’d fully processed what he said. “Sorry I’m trying to figure out the best way to scale up that dude’s micro-cock, proportionally, if you don’t mind.”

He just about choked on his own spit, and rightfully so. But when he glanced to her eyes instead of her disappointing blank canvas, with his eyebrows furrowed and his cute little nostrils flared just the way she liked them, it was clear his reaction wasn’t for the reasons she’d intended.

He was quiet. Lips pursed, mind completely empty apart from hearing her say cock over and over again. Echoing against his skull. Making a home for itself in his hippocampus for later purposes. When he was not in a class full of students with their eyes on him, watching him get hard at the fucking way she said cock.

“Leave you to it then,” he cleared his throat and continued on.

“He may not kick us out, but killing you is still an option,” Rose whispered once Harry was a safe distance away from them.

Y/N leaned back in her seat to watch him walk down the rest of their row. His hands behind his back again, eyes wandering over shoulders.

As long as he had those rings on while he choked her out, she was okay with that.

*                                              *                                 *

Everyone had moved on to their bodies. Gathering the clay they needed from the front and using their sketches as guidelines to build around the pre-made wire and aluminum foil armature. Most everyone had some sort of a form being attached to the heads of their sculptures by the time Y/N even got started.

Because she decided on using Harry as reference after all and he would just not stand still.

With the models gone, they were on their own, with help from Harry of course. He played several videos and gave various demonstrations to aide them. It wasn’t supposed to be perfect, but after she gave it her all for about ten minutes, she was ready to give up. Her body looked like a very lumpy, very deformed version of Shrek.

She took a break again, watching Rose sculpt for a while instead. She watched Harry sometimes too as he walked around the class again in gloves this time. Smoothing out features and picking up tools to aid in the process of forming collarbones and wrinkles.

The studio was in its typical state of disarray. Random cups of milky water on every table, pieces of clay smushed into the tile floor, tools and used gloves strewn about with no rhyme or reason. Harry thrived in that kind of environment while Y/N well… she hated it.

She wanted organization and cleanliness. Her nine-to-five called for that kind of thing. But she was slowly getting used to it. To letting go and embracing the mess while she was here. She wasn’t the one that had to clean it all up anyways.

The only time she wasn’t daydreaming was when Harry started up their aisle again, walking in front of their table this time however. He helped a couple others at the end of their row, watched some of them work before eventually landing right in front of Rose’s station.

He cocked his head to the side while he watched her struggle to form an even pair of breasts on her headless lady. And even though Y/N was trying her best to look busy, she just couldn’t help it.

Rose handed her work in progress over to him with a frustrated huff after he offered his assistance. And like… no way was Y/N missing out on Mr. Harry fucking Styles fingering some clay into the perfect set of boobs. No way.

Especially fucking not when he removed his gloves and used those fingers in their bare glory the way she wished he’d use them someplace else. She watched while he slapped some more clay on Rose’s poor flat-chested model and proceeded to smooth it out with his expert fingertips. She watched the clay melt under his touch, watching him dip into their shared cup of water to aid the process. She looked away long enough to admire the concentration on his face, the way he bit down on his lip and furrowed his brows the way she was used to. She watched again while he fixed all of Rose’s mistakes just by gliding his thumbs over the two perfect little lumps on her sculpture that sure as hell hadn’t started out so perfectly.

She had no idea why Harry sculpting a tiny set of breasts on what would eventually become a mermaid got her so hot and bothered but… it did. It did so fucking much, she was almost salivating like a dog by the end of it, thinking about what his hands could do with the real deal. But then he handed it back to Rose with a content smile on his face and burst Y/N’s little bubble.

“Might be better,” he said softly and Rose nodded in agreement. She hadn't noticed before, but when he stood to his full height it was clear he’d been leaning over on their table. Closer to the both of them than he’d ever really been before. And she knew he was tall, taller than Rose, who was five foot seven inches herself. And not just that but his shoulders were broad and his arms were a humble amount of muscular. Almost like he was a sculptor that kneaded clay a hundred hours a week. Maybe that was why she was a soaking wet mess.

He stretched his gloves back onto his hands and glanced Y/N’s direction. Eyes going straight from her disaster of an art piece to her flushed face and back.

“Don’t even know where to start to fix yours up,” he commented while moving slightly to his right until he stood directly in front of Y/N this time.

She looked at her abomination, wondering if it would be her worst idea to push more of his buttons or not. But, she went for it anyways. Her lack of impulse control would definitely come back to bite her in the ass one day.

“It’s the penis. Still haven’t gotten that down yet.”

He nodded, amused rather than his previous reaction to her antics. “Can see that, yeah. He’s got a bit of a crooked willy there.” Harry poked at it with his index finger and she became hyper aware of his closeness this time while he leaned over her tabletop again. Because his hands were right there, almost touching her own. And they were big, bigger than she realized. She could see him perfectly through the transparent gloves, his long fingers with clipped nails at the end that were well taken care of, considering.

She would need to soak herself in holy water for a while after this.

“Oh, is that not what the male anatomy looks like?” She teased, not fully realizing they were getting along for the first time and it was because of dicks. Because she’d put an oddly shaped protrusion on her figure before she’d even done much else with the blob of clay stuck to her form.

“No,” he laughed, shaking his head at her and standing up straight again. “Maybe if you paid attention when the models were out here, you’d know that.”

“Maybe if you hired someone who’s cock I could actually see from all the way back here without a fucking magnifying glass.” She was only slightly aware of how fully immersed she was in the debate over this penis.

But all he heard was cock again. She really needed to stop saying that. Because this time his mind was a little more imaginative while he stared at her lips and thought about the way she might say that on her knees in front of him.

He shook his head clear. She was an insufferable nuisance that he just barely tolerated on a good day. He didn't need her clogging up his brain with her cock talk too.

“Just fix it.” He mumbled.

She huffed when he left her to her own devices, not even bothering to offer his help, but she really shouldn’t expect any less. If he helped her, he would be doing it all for her. And that was hardly the point of taking a class to learn how to sculpt if the hot instructor was just going to do everything for you.

“Is there a reason why you’re arguing with him about penises?” Rose asked, hushing her voice around the apparently taboo word.

“It’s fun. And if I’m going to sit here in this stupid class with you I’m going to have some fun.” Y/N, on the other hand, was not hushed or subtle at all, as she ripped off the phallic piece of clay from her sculpture.

Rose cringed when she glanced past Y/N to find Harry looking right at her. He had been helping someone a few seats down and clearly not far enough away to have missed what Y/N said. All of his features drooped and he looked genuinely upset. Rose wished she could put a filter over Y/N’s mouth to save everyone from her insensitive outbursts. Especially Harry. He always tried so hard and for Y/N to brush everything off and boil it all down to a ‘stupid class’ even broke Rose’s heart a little. So she could only imagine how Harry felt.

After their typical hour and a half was up, once everyone at least had some semblance of a body minus the legs and arms, Harry called the class back to order.

“Alright, that’s time. You can put your armatures back on the shelves, carefully. As always, I’ll be around for a little while after. Have a great rest of your night, I’ll see you all on Saturday.” He finished his spiel, turning away to help clean up before a lightbulb went off in his head and his voice rang through the studio again, “Oh, and make sure you bring your sketches back with you!”

Everyone worked on cleaning up, including Harry. And while Y/N took both her and Rose’s sculptures over to their respective spots on the shelves, Rose walked up to the front of the class without any warning whatsoever.

She tapped Harry’s shoulder and watched while his smile faded just the tiniest bit after he turned to find her. That Rose’s poor face had to be associated with the thunderstorm that was Y/N.

“I just wanted to say sorry… about Y/N.” Both Rose and Harry glanced at the girl in question near the back of the studio, playing with their two sculpted bodies like they were barbie dolls. “I forced her to do this with me so she hasn’t really taken it seriously. But I’m really enjoying the class, you’re a fantastic instructor.”

His smile returned again and if he was being honest with himself, it really did make him feel better to hear her say that. He had some sort of a reasoning for Y/N’s horrible attitude and while he wished it was her apologizing and not Rose, he figured it was good enough.

“Thank you. You’re doing really well so far. I’ll see you on Saturday, yeah?”

She nodded, giving him one last polite smile before trotting back to Y/N and helping her clean up the last bits around their workstation.

“Please do not tell me you were flirting with him.” Y/N gagged, using a ball of clay to gather the little pieces spread across their table like a magnet.

“No, actually, I was apologizing to him for your behavior.”

Y/N snapped her head up, first at Rose and then Harry all the way across the room from them. “You what?”

“He’s just trying to teach and you’ve been a fucking knobhead.”

Y/N gasped in fake offense, which was actually slightly real offense. “Excuse me, he made fun of my bowl the first day, you seem to have forgotten about that.”

“A toddler could have made a better bowl than that, Y/N, and you know it.”

She frowned, grumpily averting her eyes to the table with her arms crossed over her chest like she really was a toddler.

“I’m just saying,” Rose started, a bit calmer this time, “stop pestering him.”

*                                              *                                 *

Y/N thought about everything Rose had said. About how much she wished she could take things seriously and not constantly get on people’s nerves all the time, but she simply did not know how to. Taking the piss out of things and making jokes was how she got through her days.

But she did agree. Harry didn’t deserve her behavior. Maybe he was a bit of a jerk to her to begin with, but insulting his class might’ve been crossing a line.

Because she didn’t actually think it was stupid. She quite enjoyed listening to him. She liked learning something new and following his instructions as he walked them through some of his techniques. She liked being connected to all the people in the little studio, even if only briefly. Complete strangers all shared that one little thing in common and it made her all fuzzy and warm inside each time she met up with Rose at the end of every Wednesday and Saturday.

Hiding behind a bit of humor, however, was a lot more comfortable than admitting she found pleasure in anything as corny as sculpting classes.

On Friday night, boredom got the best of her and she took a chance upon searching Harry’s name on Instagram while she took her weekly bath. It had been Rose’s idea, the bath, not stalking her attractive sculpting instructor online. That decision was completely her own. But the baths at the end of stressful weeks had a little influence from her best friend, as did most aspects of her life. Baths were a waste of time, in her opinion, and she preferred the efficiency of showering. But Rose had given her nice smelling soaps and weird fizzy things for bath time and well… she couldn’t let them go to waste.

So, amid her regularly scheduled, once-a-week bath, she scrolled shamelessly through Harry’s feed. Because he did, in fact, have an instagram. And she only knew it was him because every fourth post was a video and in said videos were his hands. And, fuck, they were just as nice on film as they were in person.

He didn’t post much of his face, which she thought was an actual crime, but there was a lot about him and his sculpting. She found out it had been his sister’s birthday recently, who, when she smiled, looked just like him. He’d also just finished a piece he seemed really proud of, a clay head and bust of a pit bull, to which he linked in the caption about a local shelter who rescued the breed specifically and needed donations. Her heart nearly fucking melted.

Harry wasn’t much of an open book, though, unless he let his art do most of the talking. He seemed to enjoy sculpting women the most, which is probably why he’d been so good at de-lumping the breasts on Rose’s mermaid. But all the female sculptures he made weren’t sexual at all. They had meaning behind them. Like every single clay face she clicked on throughout his photos had a story. Like he was uplifting rather than fetishizing.

And not every single one of them was skinny and had perfect features. She was shocked to see at least half of the creations she’d skimmed through were of larger women with imperfect breasts at times and asymmetrical faces. Not sticking to typical European beauty standards as she may have originally assumed he might.

It made glancing down at her very much imperfect body feel a little less like an attack. Because Harry spent his time putting all his love into his little sculptures with diverse body types that she almost felt ashamed for ever hating hers.

Once she was done clicking on just about every single post he’d ever made, she finally found a selfie. Well… not really a selfie. Someone else had clearly taken it of him candidly while he had been working. But there was an awfully cute smile on his face and very familiar dimples poking into his cheeks that make her heart warm up again.

He wasn’t a damn thing like she’d assumed he was from the beginning. She thought his art centered around the ideal, and that maybe he was a little condescending because of it. But his Instagram told a different story about his art. And she wanted to know so much more about him.

She was completely lost in her dreams about him that just the smidge of distraction led to accidentally liking a photo of his from two years prior.

She’d have to move countries. Change her name. Delete everything. Never look back. Y/N? A distant memory.

Before dropping her phone in the tub and really making a complete ass out of herself, she threw it, instead, onto her furry rug in the middle of the bathroom and sunk herself down into the water. Wondering if it would really be so bad if she just drowned a little bit.

Because she desperately wanted to. There was nothing she could do. Not even unliking the picture would help. He’d still see the notification. Still click onto her page and realize who in the fuck had just liked a two-year-old post of his that he, himself, had probably even forgotten about.

She wanted nothing more than to sink her head under the pink-tinted water and never come back up. Her mind would not stop with the visualizations of what his reaction might be. Things he might be thinking. Like is this that fucking bitch from my sculpting class? Or whether or not she might find herself blocked by morning.

God, just make it stop.

But suddenly her phone buzzed and her heart just about stopped beating. It had to be the notification that Harry blocked her. Was that even a thing? Did Instagram notify you if someone blocked you? And why was her phone on silent? Because her Instagram notifications and her text messages made very different sounds. If it was just a text, she’d consider ignoring it. She’d continue marinating in all her shame a little while longer. But it ate her alive not knowing what the buzzing was from.

So, carefully, she pulled herself upright and reached across the floor until she had her phone in her hand. Before she clicked the screen on, though, she closed her eyes and inhaled a deep breath.

But when she opened her eyes and found out why her phone had buzzed, she let that breath out and settled her ass down again. It was Rose.

Hey, I can’t make it tomorrow for class. Felt like absolute shit at work today and had to go home because as it turns out I have the flu.

“Fuck,” Y/N mumbled to herself. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to go alone because facing Harry after she just did what she did was one thing, but doing it all by herself was another. But a part of her did still want to go tomorrow. The part before her horrific accident when she was full on getting a love boner over Harry. She’d wanted to see him again so fucking bad.

Okay. I probably won’t go too then

Y/N physically frowned at the idea of waiting another five days to see Harry again. Her brain really needed to make its fucking mind up about him. Did she want to see him or not?

No! You have to go and tell me what I missed!

Y/N rolled her eyes, but felt relieved. Even after her embarrassing slip up, her desire to see Harry again still prevailed. And she hated it. How was she even supposed to look him in the eye tomorrow, both of them knowing damn well she’d been stalking his Instagram back to two fucking years ago?

*                                              *                                 *

It was beyond weird sitting in their usual cafe on Justice Hill alone, even without the whole Instagram fiasco of the previous night she was trying everything in her power to forget about.

However all the desperate attempts to bury that awful experience were fruitless when she glanced across the room over her latte and found a very familiar set of grumpy-looking eyes already staring at her. But once she did notice him, he immediately looked away, stepping up to the counter to order his own cup of coffee.

She nearly choked on her drink, having to set it down and wipe what had spilled onto her chin off with a napkin she’d already used to sop up another one of her messes.

Of the three weeks now they’d been going to classes and frequenting the cafe just before, she’d never seen Harry. It was like he didn’t have a life outside being an instructor. He just popped up in the studio and she always left before him so she had no idea what he did after class either.

But seeing him here was like seeing a fucking unicorn in real life.

She couldn’t help watching him either, even if she knew she shouldn't. But, in her defense, he was wearing beautiful wine-colored corduroy pants with a tight white t-shirt tucked into them and a beige coat thrown over his arm to match. And for shoes he had on his usual white vans that had gained a few more scuff marks since the last time she’d seen him. His fashion would look terrible on anyone besides him.

He glanced her way again, briefly, when he left the counter with his cup, fighting his legs from walking in her direction but not exactly winning that battle.

And to her surprise, he stood right in front of her, behind the chair where Rose usually sat.

And when she looked up at him, he completely forgot why he had come over. He had no fucking clue what he was doing there. But it was too late now for him to back away and pretend like it never happened.

“Your friend's not coming?” His voice shook, but she didn’t notice with the way he finally took his fucking eyes off of her and gave her a chance to breathe again. He glanced at his watch just to confirm that it was, in fact, only five minutes until class started and it seemed reasonable to assume Rose wasn’t meeting her before then.

She pulled herself together and pretended like his close presence wasn’t intimidating her in the slightest.

“Disappointed?” She tilted her head, smirking at him. She had no right to think he liked her better than Rose. She, herself, liked Rose better too. So she was sure he had to be at least a little bit sad to see Rose missing.

He smiled and the second she saw those dimples she was reminded of his Instagram all over again.

“A little,” he nodded, pinching his thumb and index finger together in the air and she painfully agreed.

“Well, you get me all by myself tonight.” She didn’t realize how it sounded until it was too late. Until she was cringing at all the sexual insinuations she’d just made for absolutely no reason. She could have said something else that wasn’t laced in an innuendo. But no, of course not. She had to continue her embarrassing streak when it came to Harry.

Instead of being creeped out by her, however, and pulling a confused and slightly terrified face, he laughed. And, on God, his laugh was the most amazing thing she’d ever heard. This wasn’t the first time the sound of his laughter graced her eardrums, but it was the first time he was laughing because of something she said that wasn’t about crooked penises.

“Lucky me.”

He left her so fucking speechless, that after he started backing away from her table, reminding her to not be late, she still ended up being late. Because she sat in her chair for what felt like a century repeating his two words over and over again in her head.

Lucky me.

She knew he was only teasing but the way he’d just gone along with her original joke and how his voice sounded when he said it, she could not believe it. She could also not believe how Harry had some kind of massive hold on her that she sat staring at a wall for ten minutes trying to figure out how to operate properly again just to get up out of her chair.

Lucky fucking me.

She could scream.

If she wasn’t in public.

There was an extra pep in her step as she took Justice Hill alone this time, partially because of how giddy Harry had made her and partially because she was late… right after he told her not to be. But how was she supposed to be on time after what he’d just done to her emotions. And to the throbbing mess between her legs, but that's another story entirely.

Everyone was all over the place when she’d finally arrived, though, so it made slipping in the back that much easier. Not that she got past Harry’s watchful eyes, though, but at least she wasn’t interrupting anything while the class readied their workstations for another full night of going ham on their sculptures.

Harry kept his eyes on her mostly the entire time she did the same at her empty little area, watching as she tucked her purse under the desk for safekeeping and threw a couple tools he wasn’t sure he’d ever seen her use onto the table. When she wandered off to the wall of shelves to retrieve her absolutely horrifying work of art, he finally gave her some privacy again. But he couldn’t help the fact that he’d been worried sick when she didn’t show up on time after he’d just seen her at the cafe, thinking something horrible could have happened to her between there and here.

So making sure she was unscathed before he, too, got his area organized was essential.

She sat in her chair and stared at what she had made the past three weeks. They’d started with something simple on the first day, taking a pre-cut slice of clay and free-handing a bowl with a few tips from Harry thrown in here and there. Then they jumped straight in after he showed them a few clips of sculptors working, pausing to explain specific things about creating a head and face. They were given everything they needed to make sculpting a complete figurine of a human body as easy as possible.

And still, she managed to create a combination of Shrek and the abominable snowman.

She huffed, wondering if she asked nicely enough Harry would let her just start all over. But before she could even think to do so, he clapped his hands together and got everyone’s attention for today’s mini-tutorial.

He explained smoothing to them and how there were many different ways of doing it so that your end results weren't littered in fingerprints. He reminded them to use water to smooth out the initial shapes of the clay they wanted and if they were having a really hard time with too much warmth from their fingers to use the gloves.

He ventured a little into detail work of the bust, showing a short clip of another artist forming collar bones with just two tools and her fingers. He explained what tools those were and why they were the most efficient for details and went on some more about other detail tools that were good for different things.

And the entire time she was far too lost in his voice and how his eyes lit up passionately when he rambled to even think about the fact that she wasn’t taking a single note for Rose’s sake.

They’d done a few lessons on details for the face, but they had yet to really get that far, only having put on tentative eyelids, lips and a nose for their heads before he really dove deep into details in what she assumed would be a full class later on.

And when he finally took a break to ask for any questions, she was, of course, the first to raise her hand. He thought about ignoring it, knowing all too well that anytime Y/N raised her hand in the back of his classroom, she was up to no good. But he was too nice to do that to anyone, even her.

So he called on her by nodding his head and she cleared her throat while he grimaced, expecting the worst.

“So, um, for example if we were going to do bigger details like abs on a male figure, what would be the best tool for that?”

He could have sworn he was having a heart attack. He had to blink a few times just to make sure he wasn’t dreaming. She was actually asking him a legitimate question, and a good one at that. He had to repeat what she said in his head first, just to make sure it was real, before he answered, completely unprepared.

“Um… well after you lay out the clay where you want on the body, you can use one of the knives to blend the edges,” he held up an example of one for her, “and then a large ball or oval tool like this,” he held up another, “to smooth everything out. You’d probably want a more blunt pointed end to shape them, though, after you blend the clay in.”

She nodded like she’d been fully absorbing every single word coming out of his mouth and then he watched as she dug around quietly in the tool kit on her desk, in search of the types of tools he’d mentioned.

He could not fucking believe it though. She finally showed a stitch of interest in learning about sculpting. And he had no idea why she decided to right now. Maybe it was because she was without her partner in crime, but either way he was stunned. Absolutely fucking marveled.

After a few more questions and some demonstrations, he let everyone go and continue working on their projects while he circled the room as he normally did. And he found himself glancing at her from time to time, all by herself in the back with a genuine look of concentration on her face as she attempted making her creature a little less loch ness monster and a little more human.

Eventually, after he figured she was giving it enough effort for him to step in and help if she needed, he headed her way. And just as she sensed him walking down her aisle, while she was busy shaving off clay, a piece of it went flying into the air, completely out of control.

He stopped in his tracks after almost being smacked in the face with a chunk of clay and bent over to pick it up before someone squished it into the bottom of their shoes. He leaned over the edge of the table in front of her again, setting the piece of clay down next to her gently while she bit her lips between her teeth and tried to hide her embarrassed red cheeks behind her hands.

“Sorry!” She squealed at him, further digging herself into a hole.

He shook his head, “S’alright. Not the first time that’s happened.”

She laughed at the thought of him actually getting hit in the money maker with a hunk of clay and it eased her worries a little.

“So how are those abs going then?” He asked.

She stared at her sculpture for a moment before she sighed and turned it around to face him. It wasn’t as bad as it had been before, but it was still pretty rough.

“Mind if I…?” He held his hands out and she, without a single hesitation, handed it over to him.

He immediately grabbed the shaving tool she’d been using, and since it still sat next to her where she’d put it down moments ago, his fingers brushed against her hand when he picked it up. Sending every one of her nerves in the general area on a field day to mess with her nether regions again. It’s just… his fucking hands were an art form in and of themselves. His knuckles prominent, stretching soft skin around the bone. His veins protruding every time he made a more delicate move that required precision. Even the ones on his arms underneath the ink when he was a bit more rough with her sculpture sent her over the moon, while he shaved off bits and pieces with firm pressure to define the shape of the body and somehow create a human-like figure from her mess.

Then he started smoothing down the surface with a little water on his fingers and she went batshit. His hands while dry were one thing, but sparkling, wet, slippery fingertips? Lord have mercy.

She watched him spread a chunk of extra clay onto what would be the figure’s chest to build it up a little more with the knowledge of their previous conversations about dicks and abs making it clear she was attempting to make a male figure. She couldn’t help but watch his muscles flex underneath his tight white t-shirt. From far away across the cafe it had caught her attention. And now right here, she was definitely not letting it go unnoticed. It wasn’t too tight that he looked ridiculous, but just the right amount to show off every curve of his biceps and triceps and whatever other -ceps he had hiding underneath the shirt. He was normally in oversized tops so she was taking full advantage while she still had the chance to.

When he handed it back to her, it was like he’d done some kind of magic spell to get it to look so good after what she’d given him to work with. He leaned forward a little more and pointed at the figure’s chest and she was only halfway paying attention to him when he spoke, mostly focusing on how close he was and every single time he accidentally brushed his skin against hers.

“So if you want to make the abs,” he paused to glance over and dig through her pile of tools until he found the one he was looking for. “Use this to kind of sketch out the shape like we did with the faces,” he took the ball tool and rolled it down the middle of the chest, making a short indent to separate where the pectorals might be, “then you can add on the dimension like I was saying earlier.”

She took over the tool when he flipped it around and gave it to her so she could try for herself. And he watched for a short while as she did what he said to do, sketching out tentative abs, but not really knowing exactly what they looked like to come to any sort of realistic end. Her figure started to look like a shirtless Johnny Bravo.

He just giggled and pointed his stupid finger back into her personal space, smoothing down her mistakes until they disappeared, “Have you never seen a six-pack that wasn’t on a cartoon character?”

She racked her brain, trying to say something funny, but once she looked into his eyes, nothing came to mind. “Of course I have. I just don’t know how to make them look realistic.” She couldn’t exactly remember the last time she’d been faced with a naked man’s chest, but she had seen them before.

“Well…” Harry sighed, resting his head on his hand and staring at her sculpture sideways, “he doesn’t have to have abs.”

And then she said it. Something worse than her earlier set of words back at the cafe. She had no clue what was going on with her tonight, but she needed an ass-kicking for it.

“Do you have abs?”

“Me?” His eyes flickered up to hers in shock and it was far too late for her to backtrack, she was here and she had to face what she’d done. Even while he looked at her like she was fucking insane.

“Uh, well. I mean…” She had no fucking clue what she meant. And even if she did, she sure as shit wasn’t telling him.

Then it clicked in his brain. “You’re not using me as reference, are you?”

After a solid three seconds of just staring at him, she laughed. “No, of course not.”

“Hope so after you gave him that wonky penis.”

She sighed once they were through it. Once he’d proved, yet again, that he didn’t make her embarrassing statements feel as bad as they really were. He kind of just... went along with it.

But then she made it even worse.

“So yours isn’t wonky and crooked, then?”

Jesus, fuck Y/N just shut up.

His smile never faded, however, and instead, he leaned close again and whispered, “Maybe one day you’ll be lucky enough to find out.”

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