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#and unable to bring myself to talk about other people’s conversations
buckys-robot-arm · 1 year
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Everything is ruined and now I’m fired for sure because I sent in the form a day late
#may get kicked off the club board because I don’t get social cues and then ruin someone’s day because of it#half of the issues the pres brought up could’ve easily been solved if the board members I upset told me ‘hey please don’t say that to me’#instead of going right to A. some stuff I can chalk up to overstimulation/overwhelm in the moment but he wouldn’t see that. only my reaction#and I try so fucking hard to internalize it and not let my stress come out. he doesn’t even see how long little things have been building up#and I don’t expect anyone to as I can’t even see it#but there’s so many times ig I say the wrong thing and idek(hello? autism?)that I did. bc nobody communicates!!#and now bc I submitted the form a day after exactly 2 weeks. we’d have to move the meeting a day later. and our meetings aren’t on Tuesdays#and now L is just always looking at me with disdain and I cant just ask her wtf I did wrong bc I said there was no need to mention any of it#and she’s also dating A so I know he tells her EVERYTHING about what I did. I’m positive she knows about the impeachment#she wouldn’t look at me like that otherwise. it’s like there’s no light in her eyes when she isn’t laughing/smiling and looking at me#I just want people to tell me that they do in fact hate me bc that’s a lot simpler to deal with than radio silence and ambiguous looks#just tell me that I’m an idiot who doesn’t have their shit together and won’t make it in the world being disorganized#and unable to bring myself to talk about other people’s conversations#I needed to rant here bc half the people on my priv story are all fucking 6 degrees of separation from A. and he’d know. somehow#at least nobody irl knows what my url is. some people know I’m on here. but they certainly don’t have a clue what I go by at least
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strwberri-milk · 10 days
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Midnight Blues
Rafayel x Reader || Mild Insomnia, Comfort || 1 184 words
a/n: my toxic trait is pretending im a singer and compiling songs into albums and naming them and midnight blue is the name of the hypothetical album that encapsulates falling in love with rafayel and i guess i could make a playlist bc thats the normal thing to do but i just name fanficitions after them ig. also this is based off his treasure secret time - idgaf about the mensturation i only care about the fact that hums your ass to rest and the lore drop that is rafayel calling you at night when the two of you first start met bc it would help you sleep
You can hardly remember what nights were like before without the sound of his voice in your ears.
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You sigh as you sink into your bed, staring up at the ceiling after doing another quick lap around the house to try and tire yourself out. Your body is tired, you know it is. You just wish that you could sleep, not at all excited about the prospect of having to go to work tomorrow after being unable to sleep all night.
You’re about to start your nightly routine of tossing and turning when your phone suddenly starts to ring. A smile makes its way onto your face as you recognise the caller ID, putting your phone against your ear and humming lightly to alert the other side to your presence.
“You’re still awake, huh?” Rafayel’s teasing tone asks through the phone. The two haven’t known each other long but that didn’t seem to bother Rafayel in the slightest.
“Yeah,” you sigh, putting your phone on speaker next to you on the pillow.
All it took was falling asleep one time in a conversation with him for Rafayel to pounce on that and decide to take advantage of it. You swore up and down that it was a mistake, that it wasn’t because of Rafayel that you fell asleep but deep down you know that something about that silky smooth timbre of his voice made your worries go away. You’d never slept so soundly, mortified at the teasing text that he sent you when you read it in the morning.
However, you had to admit defeat and let the man do whatever he wanted. Even before you met him it was clear that Rafayel didn’t care much for whatever the people around him want. He does as he pleases and now, it seems that he’s convinced you won’t sleep without him talking to you.
“If you wanted me to call you all you had to do was ask,” he says after a while, letting you get settled in bed.
“I’m grown. I can take care of myself,” you reply, Rafayel imagining a slight pout on your features as you did so.
“Ah, I see. So you don’t need me to talk you to sleep then? I’ll hang up then.”
“Wait!” you shout quickly, shooting out of bed and grabbing your phone.
“Don’t…don’t go. Please?”
“Begging now? I guess if you’re that desperate for my company I’ll give it to you.”
You can hear how smug he is, rolling your eyes at how obvious his tells are. You wonder how Thomas hasn’t figured him out yet – Rafayel isn’t nearly as sneaky as he seems to think he is.
“Are you driving?” you ask after a second, settled back into bed again and listening carefully to his end of the call.
“I’m heading back from an exhibition. I could have booked a hotel but I didn’t feel like staying the night there so I’m making the long drive home. I called you to see if you’d keep me company.”
You tug your blankets around yourself, losing yourself in their warmth as you yawn. The exhaustion begins to sit on your shoulders again but this time, it feels more manageable. His voice swims around your head as he starts rambling about the exhibition. You’re glad to hear that it went off without a hitch, having declined his invitation yourself due to a more urgent task of the day.
“Are you even listening to me?” he asks, bringing your attention back to him.
“Hmm? Yeah, sellers bullying you, people hitting on you, same old same old,” you mumble, burying yourself further into your bed.
“If you didn’t like it that much, why didn’t you just make something up to get out of it?”
“I couldn’t bail on Thomas again. I felt bad for him constantly fielding off journalists and this show was supposedly a big deal so I decided to do him a favour. Plus, I blew off all the shows so far this month so I might as well make myself seen at a more important one.”
Leave it to Rafayel to make doing his job seem like a favour to someone else. Even if he acts like he’s got his head in the clouds you know he’s genuinely kind – if you’ve got the patience to go digging through the layers that make up the enigmatic artist. You feel thankful that the world brought you to him, even if you weren’t sure what the budding feeling in your chest is.
“You had a long day, huh? I can hear it in your voice.”
You give him another hum, not wanting to bother with any words.
“Even if I ask you a question you don’t need to reply. It’s getting late and I won’t be home for at least another hour. I really did just want your company you know. I’m glad that you answered my call. It would have been miserable if I had to drive home all alone.”
It doesn’t take Rafayel much time to start rambling at you again. You don’t know how he manages to find anything and everything to say to you and keep himself entertained, laughing at his own jokes and taking the soft noises you make as jumping off points to completely go on a new tangent.
When he hears your light snores and steady breathing, he smiles to himself. The sound of your breath surrounds him in his car and if he weren’t such a responsible driver, he’d close his eyes just to pretend that he’s laying in bed with you.
Normally, Rafayel was perfectly content driving home in silence, finding the long expanse of road the perfect opportunity to ground himself after all of the cameras and people in his face. Honestly, he only left when he did to make sure he’d be able to call you at the same time he did every night. Your inability to sleep well worried him and even if you didn’t fully understand the extent of his feelings towards you, he wouldn’t let that get in the way of taking care of you. You make him happy after all, especially when he hears you try to rouse yourself from sleep in a desperate attempt to show him that you’re listening to him. The mental image of your sleepy eyes trying to focus on his face makes his heart melt, impatiently tapping his finger against the steering wheel at the annoyance of being unable to call you his just quite yet.
Even when he gets home, he doesn’t hang up on you. He’s careful to do his nightly routine quietly, using the sound of your breathing as his favourite symphony and he settles down for the night himself. He even continues to speak to you softly, wanting to make sure that his voice lulls you into a truly restful slumber. He thinks about you a lot and being able to help you in any form always makes his heart feel so full.
He won’t admit that talking to you on these late nights makes him sleep well too, putting his phone on the pillow beside him before falling asleep to thoughts of you.
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AITA for asking my parents to pay my tuition for the semester, lying about how I lost my scholarship, and then planning on lying to my dad regarding his requirements in exchange for him paying the tuition?
My (20X) college has a scholarship for offspring of faculty members, and I was lucky enough to have my application accepted by the college that my dad (53M) works at. This means that I get a full ride scholarship; if I graduate within 4 years, I won't have to pay a single penny to my college (books and supplies not included, of course).
Unfortunately, the scholarship does have two requirements; I need to have taken at least a certain amount of credits semester before (not a ridiculous number), and for that semester, I need to have gotten over a 2.0/4.3 GPA. Easy enough, right? Who can't get a GPA over 2.0?
Well. I suffered a mental health downfall the past semester and I ended up failing half my classes. I was unable to sit my finals. I know this wasn't smart of me, and I think I should've done something about my academic situation other than just wait for the semester to be over, but I had quit a semester due to my mental health decline previously and I didn't want a repeat of that. In any case, I got a GPA of about 1.6. I'm not on probation but I did receive a warning.
Fortunately, this doesn't mean I lost my scholarship for good. I just need to fulfill those requirements in the upcoming semester and I get it back.
I realized I did need to pay my tuition this semester two days before tuition fee acceptance closes and I debated telling only one of my parents. My mom wants me to finish college no matter what, and my dad has told me that he does not care anymore as long as I don't stress him out. He's also told me he no longer has any expectations for me whatsoever. I did also consider talking about it with my brother and borrowing money from him to put together the tuition fee.
I figured I'd bite the bullet and just told my dad, who I know has been stressed about my future and how badly I'm doing in college. I just casually dropped it as I was making breakfast for myself and then we had a lengthy conversation that my mother (51F) joined when she got back home.
I don't remember much of the conversation (I may have memory problems) but the AITA mentioned part is that I lied to my parents and told them I did sit all my finals and try my best. I didn't. I tried that for mid term exams but I had nothing to write, so for finals I didn't sit them at all. This happened with three of the classes I was taking. I just didn't take my finals. My dad was suspicious of my claim; he said that as a professor himself he wouldn't fail students who at least submitted homework and sat their exams to write anything at all, but I maintained that I tried.
The conclusion was that my dad would be willing to pay my tuition if I got my shit together and also deleted my social media, which he thinks is a drain on my time and energy. He's not wrong. I deleted my Twitter accounts immediately afterwards (which my parents don't know about) because I've been thinking about it, but I can't really bring myself to get rid of Discord, where so many of my friends are. People I've met while studying internationally, long-term friends who moved to other countries; Discord is the only way to contact these people.
This is the AITA part; if my dad follows up on that particular requirement to check if I deleted Discord, which he particularly dislikes (he has previously confiscated the electronics I bought with my own money that I earned, after he saw me on muted call at night with some friends), I plan on deleting the app/program on my devices but using it anyway as a website. This would be a betrayal of my dad's trust in me, but there's no love lost between us anyway. He's already told me he doesn't love me unconditionally. (Yes, I'm his biological child and he did raise me.)
I also feel like an asshole because I could've settled this with the help of my brother; I'd pick up a job during the winter break to pay him back, but it would have been done eventually. Or I could've just gone to my mom. She works her own job, and we could've figured it out together without telling my dad. I told my dad anyway, wanting him to pay the tuition, even though I knew that talking about having to spend money on his kids stresses him out deeply.
My mom also told my dad to go to therapy (in detail, so I know it wasn't just something she said as a throwaway thing) during the conversation. It did get heated. I don't disagree, but I don't know if that'd be okay; mental health is stigmatized where I am, and my dad as a grown adult man and a respected professor if seen going to therapy could have his reputation kind of effected. It wouldn't have happened if I just brought up this whole situation quietly up to my mom, or just my brother.
So I lost my scholarship, I lied to my parents about the technicalities of how that happened, and I'm asking for some amount of money from my parents but also planning on lying to them in regards to the terms they set out. AITA?
What are these acronyms?
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soulatus · 2 years
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Bros the type of guy...
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Malleus Draconia
bros the type of guy to visit you at midnight to see if you're awake and if you were, he'd asked you if you'd like take a walk with him and you feel safe knowing he's there with you when you both take a midnight stroll while holding hands (and because no one is dumb enough to attack him)
bros the type of guy who would try to help you study and is very patient about it and understanding. he's never irritated if you're slow at learning or struggling to memorise, he'll take his time with you (as it is also an opportunity for him to spend quality time with you) and try to explain and teach you things
bros the type of guy to trust you with his tamagotchi, gao gao-kun when he's really busy and is unable to tend to his virtual pet. if you also have one, he'd do the same for you if you're unable to care for yours either
bros the type of guy to use "love", "my love", "dearest" as petnames
bros the type of guy to brush a strand of hair out of your face in the morning when you're still asleep, leaning down to kiss your forehead and stroke your cheek
bros the type of guy to bring you up in conversations with zero awareness of him doing so such as "ah yes, i remember the prefect talking about this. perhaps I'll get it as a gift." "the prefect enjoys this activity as well, it's quite endearing seeing how cheerful they get when it comes to it." prefect this, prefect that
bros the type of guy to send you letters when you're both far apart from each other since he has no knowledge on how technology works. his letters are always so sweet and heartwarming. he'll mention things that remind him of you, and how he wishes to bring you with him next time
bros the type of guy to randomly kiss you when you rant about something you're interested in and as he listens, his eyes trail down to your lips and without a second thought, he bends down to peck them. it catches you off guard, with you going "huh?? what was that about???" he simply smiles and says, "forgive me, i couldn't resist myself. please continue with what you were saying, my love."
bros the type to be a little jealous. not in a way that it's unhealthy, he would trust you and fully believes you love him just as he loves you and he would never stop you from having friends and spending time with them. i feel like the most he'd do is get a little pouty and try to spend more time with you, you were his first friend and first love, he just loves you a lot. he wouldn't get jealous much if people hit on you because he knows you wouldn't indulge them nor cheat but will intervene if they start going too far and making you uncomfortable but that's assuming there's actually people bold enough to even try to flirt with you if they know Malleus is your boyfriend otherwise if not, they'll find out once they see him approaching when they do too much
bros the type of guy who'd love being both being big spoon and little spoon
bros the type of guy to hold your hand while sitting next to you and say, "I'm here, love" when you're upset and/or crying. you can lean against him or even embrace him and he'll do the same thing back because he loves you. he's a great listener and will do whatever you ask him to do try and help you through whatever you're going through and may even ask Lilia for some advice unless you didn't want him to tell Lilia about it or something that could hint to you being upset
bros the type of guy who'll get anything that interests you and would also gift you some of the rarest rocks, stones or crystals on the damn planet
bros the type of guy to keep everything you give him, whether it may be considered junk or not. he'll keep it like it's treasure and will get upset if any of it goes missing. even if you tell him it's fine, he'll feel bad it's missing because anything you give him, he cherishes
bros also the type of guy to literally wear a friendship/love bracelet or necklace everyday if you ever decide to match with him and he would never take it off and would refuse to do so. only exceptions is necessary like cooking or showering/bathing or in a situation it could get ruined
bros the type of guy to listen to everything you tell him, even if it's just about drama, something random, or your interests. even if he doesn't understand nor isn't interested in the topic it itself, he would always listen because he loves to listen to you talk and knowing what makes you happy just as you do the same for him
bros the type of guy who doesn't really dwell on the fact that you are human and therefore have a shorter life span than he does. he's probably has moments when he thinks about how short your life span is and the fact that one day he'll lose you and he's afraid of it happening. otherwise at the same time, it's more of a reason to really cherish every moment. rather than focusing on his worries and fears of losing you, he spends every moment he can with you, spending quality time together and makes sure you know he absolutely loves you and how much you mean to him
bro highly appreciates you as a person, his friend/lover. you make him feel like he's not alone, and you are his whole world. bro would defend you with his life if anyone had something against you, would always support you, always there for you, listen, spend times with and would love you endlessly
I'm hopeless man
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vandal-flower · 1 month
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Chapter 6 - Emperor and Heir
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Blue Roses with Gold Lining
With his majesty's goal in mind, you continue to work in the library. However Michael's meeting with her majesty and Aurora intoduces a requirement for both your plans to succeed.
W.C: 3.4 words. (I'm so proud.)
Warnings: Mentions of children, intimacy via touch, stories on infidelity, dialogue, implied kissing.
I.¹ - II.² - III.³- IV.⁴ - V.⁵
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"I want you to remain loyal to me Michael."
You gently rub his hand with your own. Silently pleading with him to fulfill your request. Your desire. In exchange of his loyalty, you'll make him an emperor. The mightiest known to man.
Michael's eyes look at you, and he then chuckles to himself. "What ever ploy you are trying to play is good, but not good enough. Consider your script rejected."
For a moment, his words caught you off guard, but you quickly compose yourself to snap back at him.
"Oh, your majesty, this isn't some ploy I'm playing just to get a head start in the competition. I mean it. Honest.", you calmly say, "Also, I don't always follow by a script, I prefer to improvise occasionally."
He gives you a look of uncertainty, unsure if what you are saying is really true.
"Your majesty, if you truly do lack faith in me, then please, do name one time that I, (Name), daughter of one of the Ministers of House Ludwig, has ever deceived you."
"Fair enough.", he replies. You possess a trait that not even his mother's court cannot get their hands on. Convincing. One could say you're manipulative to a degree.
On your first day at the palace, you were able to form a pact with him, and own your own terms and conditions. He will- he must help you in times of need. It's only fair.
You gently take his hand off your face. Had anyone seen you with the prince like this, you'll never hear the end of such gossip. The people residing in this palace have the largest ears and the loudest mouths known to man.
That is not to say that you don't enjoy such gossip while drinking your tea.
You quickly pick up the papers on the floor and hold them tightly to your chest. "Anyways in short, in order for you to become an emperor, you must help me into gaining some power in this place. Fair enough?", You explain.
"Alright then.", he mutters as he rakes his hand through his hair. You smile at how quickly he accepts your proposal, not questioning you or having any suspicions.
"Since you decided to take the initiative to approach 'Little Miss Pinkie' for me, smooth-talk your way into her confessing about her new accessories. Talk to other women too, just in case.", you remind him.
"Just in case of what?"
"Just in case, I don't get into trouble for falsely accusing someone.", you reason.
"I'm the daughter of a minister, not a princess like the others. The chances of me getting punished for minor things is higher compared to anyone in the place."
'Valid points.', he thinks. "Well then, I guess I must get to work then. I ask for a goodluck kiss before I go." , he says, as he points to his lips with his index finger.
The smirk on his face.
"No. It's unnecessary."
"I'm not leaving until you give me what I want."
You sigh in defeat. 'He's awfully stubborn for his age. It's almost concerning.', you think bringing his face closer to yours and gently plant your lips onto his, a peck on the cheek.
"Can I have one more?", he asks with a cheeky smile on his face.
"I recall that you asked for a kiss, not kisses Michael."
"Are harsh words really necessary whenever we converse alone?"
"Yes, now go do smooth talk your wives-to-be."
Before you walk out, he calls out to you. "And where will our secret meetings take place, if you want that plan of yours to succeed?"
"Meet me in the library, before evening. If you're unable to do that, I come see you myself. I hope you don't have any duties to attend at that time."
You walk out of the room and come face-to-face with Alexis. He stares at you for a moment, before giving you a look of distaste, and walking off to enter the room.
"Good afternoon, royal advisor Ness. I believe it is good courtesy to greet, don't you think so?", you turn to face him, just to see him halt his movements.
"You don't need my greetings, you are but filth in my eyes.", he snarls at you. You take notice at how dull his eyes are. You shrug it off, "Very well then. Good to know that is how you view me, dear sir. Anyway, may you enjoy your day."
You continue your way down the halls as he stands there, still in his position. You wonder to yourself if he acts like this to anyone, or just you. Either way, you couldn't care less.
Ness scoffs to himself before entering the room. 'Who does that woman think she is?', he thought to himself. He quickly puts a smile on his face for his majesty. It is protocol for royal advisors to look their best when presenting themselves to their master.
For him, it was his smile.
As soon as he entered, he saw his majesty smiling to himself. Ness wondered why. Was because his great majesty played mind games with you, like the other women or, was it because his majesty merely thinks you are a joke to him?
Michael calms himself as he notices Ness and stops smiling. Ness takes notice of this, but doesn't question it. "Your majesty, the queen has requested your presence at her chambers. She says it is something concerning your interactions with the participants.", he says.
"My interactions with the participants?", Michael questions. "Indeed your majesty.", Ness answers. "Though it is rude of me to make assumptions concerning this matter that does not need my input, however I think...", he takes a pause for a moment.
Michael's face hardens, "You think?". Ness takes a deep breath and looks away, "I think it is about future heirs, your majesty."
Michael's face becomes sour with the thought of future children. He didn't like them, but didn't hate them either. He just thought they were just...there.
It already didn't help that he has to choose a queen- empress suitable for him and his standards. But his mother was just piling more pressure onto him with the thought of children.
Though it is just as assumption made by his advisor, so there could be a chance that it could be false.
He straightens his posture, "Alright then, escort me to her." Ness smiles once again. "Of course your majesty.
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"So, my dearest Michael, it seems you have been doing quite well lately. Alexis informed me about your wellbeing before I requested your presence.", the queen says, placing her teacup on the saucer ontop of the table. She then rests her hands on her lap.
"Yes, mother. I hope you are also faring well.", Michael says, drinking his own cup of tea. His mother smiles, the crinckles under eyes show how sincere her emotion is. She really is doing well. "I have, no need to worry about your mother, after all I did want to talk about your interactions with the participants."
His jaw tightens, 'The issue can't be that important.'
"What about them, surely you aren't afraid one of the participants will drop out of the competition due to my 'intolerable behaviour?"
His mother chuckles to herself. "Of course not, it's just that I want to see how you have progressed." Michael raises an eyebrow. "And if you bedded any of the girls."
He pinches the bridge of his nose. 'Damn it, Ness was right.'
He remembers about how Ness would constantly be right on his assumptions. And this one was no different.
"Mother dearest, don't you think that this conversation is too early. We are only a few months in, and here you are talking about heirs already.", Michael explains. His mother gives him a serious look and sighs to herself.
"Michael, it's for the palace's sake. If any of those girls don't produce an heir suitable for the throne, the palace will fall into pieces.", she reasons. "This is the only way for you to become a true king."
"I don't want to become a king, mother.", Michael says.
His mother becomes stunned at his words, before she could say anything, he interrupts her.
"I want to become an emperor, the greatest one known to man."
She looks at him with a puzzled look before smiling. "Very well then, but in order to do that you must listen to what I have to say." She stands up and walks up to the prince.
"I want you to bed one of those fifteen girls. In order for you to become the greatest emperor, you must have a suitable heir."
She takes his hands into hers and gently squeezes them, silently pleading with him to listen to what she has said.
"If you don't know which one you should start with, I'll choose which one is best.", her words stern and her face serious. Michael lowers his head as an attempt to not look at his mother.
"Please my son, I'm only doing this for you. Don't become a disappointment, because I know only you can be the greatest."
Michael raises his head and looks at his mother's pleading eyes. "Yes mother, I hear you. I'll do what you have to say." His mother smiles and gently places a kiss on his cheek. "Thank you, my dearest."
Moments later, Michael excused himself to prepare himself to meet with one of the participants. As the door closes, the queen's most trusted servant, a middle-aged woman enters the room quietly.
"Sophia.", the queen called out to her servant. "Yes, your majesty."
"Monitor those girls for me. Bring me the ones that are most beautiful, and most importantly..."
"Suitable enough to produce an heir."
Sophia looked at the queen with surprise, "Your majesty, forgive me for asking but, isn't it too early for such things?"
The queen smiled at her servant, "I'm merely doing it for my son, he wishes to become an emperor. These girls didn't come here to just have the 'princess treatment' for free."
Her smile grew wider, "They have to work for it Sophia, and I'm making them work for it. Even if it means making them drop out of the competition."
Sophia titled her head to the side in confusion. "And what do you mean by that, your majesty?" The queen laughed to herself loudly, catching her servant off guard.
"You ask ridiculous questions, Sophia.", she answers. "I'll simply root them like the flowers in my garden. Once I see any of their petals wilt or slight change in their behaviour, I'll simply get rid of them."
"I only want flowers that are absolutely perfect for my son."
Sophia smiled to herself as she heard the queen's explanation. "Indeed your majesty, only the best is suitable for his majesty."
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In the garden, sat Michael and Aurora of the Palace of Cecil, infamous for her lavish lifestyle. She wore jewelry and a tight fitting dress, intended to show her curves as an attempt to seduce the prince.
"Your majesty, it's a great honor to be in your presence once again. I had thought I would never had the opportunity to see you again, but you managed to lift my hopes.", she looked at him with an adoring look. Michael smiled at the praise he was given.
"Of course my dear, I would never leave you all alone by yourself.", Michael starts. "I missed you with all my heart, my dearest.", he gently rubs her cheek, causing her cheeks to become a tint of pink.
She giggles at the attention given to her. "You know how to make a princess swoon for you, your majesty!", she says with excitement. Michael smiles to himself.
Aurora twirls a piece of her hair,"So if I may ask your majesty, where is Alexis? It's strange not seeing him with you.", she looks over to him with a pout. He is surprised but questions her,"Why would you want to know?"
Aurora giggles in response, unaware this irritated the prince. He noticed this was a habit of hers, to annoyingly giggle at an inquiry she wishes not answer.
"Anyways.", the prince starts,"I would like to ask where you get such beautiful dresses and accessories. I believe they greatly suit you."
Michael gives her a gentle smile, waiting for her to answer and potentially give up some information concerning the suspicious increase of taxes.
"Oh these, they're just some gifts my parents sent from home. I hope one of these days we could visit my homeland.", she says. Her smile falters a bit.
He smiles.
"So, if I may ask, what were you doing when I wasn't around?" Aurora giggled nervously, fidgeting with her hands. "I was...well. I was thinking about you, your majesty."
Michael looks at her with disappointment. "Aurora, do you recall the words I told the participants those few months ago?" She hesitantly nods. "You do know I refer to you as well." His tone becoming darker with every word he spoke.
"I instructed you to either show me your affections, or become someone of great use to me. And yet..."
"You decide not to pick any one of the options I gave you. You decided to waste my time."
She stands up in shock at his words, her nails stinging her palm. "How could you think of me that way?!"
She stared at the prince with anger, before realizing what she has done and sitting herself back down. She yelled at the prince. She caused a scene. If anyone were to see what had happened, rumors would spread like wildfire.
Suddenly, she puts a gentle smile on her face. "Forgive me your majesty for my outburst, I didn't know how to react when you said such hurtful words to me." She pouts as a way to soften his heart, but unknowingly fails to do so.
Michael quirks a brow at her act, but decides to brush it off and forgive her, reluctantly. Her pout is replaced with a smile as she fixes her dress and her hair.
With him reaching a near dead end, Michael decides to make a final move.
"Why don't you come to my chambers, alone."
Aurora is shocked at the invitation and deducts that not only could this be a great opportunity to surpass her competitors, but also as a way to gain an advantage of potentially producing an heir before anyone else.
"I would love to, your majesty.", as she reached her hand out for him to escort her, personally.
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You awaken from your nap in the library, you then stretch your arms before folding them. Your eyes slowly adjust to your surroundings, looking at the wooden shelves filled with books from top to bottom.
'I've never seen Michael read a book ever since I came here.', you wonder. It's a mystery to you on why this place has a whole library, but you have seen no one enter the place.
Other than the maids coming to dust the area thoroughly, but that doesn't matter. You should focus on more important things. For instance, where is Michael?
You take a look at the sky through the window. It's past evening. The two of you were supposed to meet before then. You blame yourself for dozing off, when trying to learn about the royal etiquette. The book you read was big enough to be used as a murder weapon.
You hastily walk out of the library, to go meet with him. 'He probably did this on purpose, making me work like a mad woman. Though it is my fault for not keeping track of time.'
When you reach the doors to his chambers, you knock on the door to check if he's available.
You hear a few whispers, not audible enough for you to make out what their saying. "Enter.", but you hear someone whisper to someone, to not let you enter.
Taking in a deep breath, you enter.
The scene before you was Michael and Aurora holding each other in their arms. Her palms resting on his chest and his hands on the sides of her hips.
They both look disheveled. You saw smudges of pink lipstick trailing from his lips to his neck and his collar unbuttoned and wrinkled, while her sleeves lower than they were before.
The smile on Michael's face was mocking and the flushed cheeks of Aurora was almost identical to her hair. As well as the pink smudged lipstick on her lips.
To witness such a thing before you. It hurts. You've read stories on women who've caught their husband in the act of an affair, but acted as if it never happened.
You've eavesdropped on your mother and the other ministers' wives conversations a few times before. According to your mother, one woman found her husband in bed with another, but only asked for what he wanted for dinner.
It's quite devastating when you think about it. But that doesn't matter. You're dealing with a prince who's love and affections could be given to all, but is not truly genuine.
You should care less.
"I sincerely apologize for interrupting your time with his majesty, however I am need of his assistance." Aurora gave you look of disdain, upset about how you barged into the room of them cuddling together.
The nonchalance in your voice does not help either.
"What is that you need his majesty's assistance with, you can clearly see that I'm still having my time with him.", she breaks away from his hold and stands in front of you.
"I can understand why you are upset about me barging in, however his majesty has a meeting with me. So, please excuse us."
You gestured to Michael so the both you could go, and he nods.
"Lady (Name) is right, you should get going. You've spent more than enough time with me.", he takes a napkin out of his pocket and wipes his face. "We'll continue this later."
"But your majesty-"
"Get going now, or are you incapable of escorting yourself out?"
With no other option, Aurora leaves, but with a sour look on her face directed to you. You could almost see tears coming from her eyes, you almost felt bad for her.
Key word, almost.
You waited to hear the sound of her footsteps to diminish. You sigh to yourself and look over to Michael. The smile on his face.
"So, did you get anything from her?", you started. He looked at you, fixing his collar and wiping the lipstick stains.
"Why, but of course. At first, she claimed her parents sent her gifts, but with a kiss or two, she confessed to the tax increase."
"Did she ever explain why she did all this?"
He gave you a side eye before continuing , "Apparently to gain more of my attention, it's a habit of hers to seek the attention of every person around her. Friend or foe."
He chuckled at the look on your face. You were...disappointment. The sympathy you had for her died when you heard the reason why of the sudden tax increase.
"How did she manage to do this? Surely, she couldn't have done it by herself.", you questioned.
"She asked her majesty. My mother."
Pardon. He saw how confused you are, with your mouth agape and your brows raised.
"I suspect my mother has given her permission to do whatever she wants in order to get my attention.", he says.
"Wouldn't that be an unfair advantage, what about the rest of participants?", you were confused. Did her majesty really not care of what the public thought of her?
"It would only be unfair if I fell for it, after all I'm not all that interested with anyone at the moment.", he smiled mischievously.
For some odd reason, you were relieved when he said those words. "Why are you so relieved at this fact? I thought you already knew I'm not interested into such women.", he started.
You shot him an irritated look, "Then do explain the lively scene I saw moments before. Was it to rile her on, to play with her, to bed her, your majesty?"
He stated clapping at you, as if saying 'Precisely the point.' To say it felt humiliating would be an understatement. But you didn't know why.
You took a deep breath.
"Would it be wrong for I to assume that her majesty, requested an heir from you?"
His form became still as if he had been turned to stone. "If that is the case then..."
You straightened your posture.
"Would you do the honor, of making me the first woman to carry your child."
In order for Michael Kaiser to become an emperor, he needs to have heir.
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Taglist.
@lightoftheamethyst , @kimura-uzuri , @kascar-chronicle , @faaariiii-world , @comet-kun , @nerdiel-has-no-braincells , @ariachaos , @kaisers-wife , @v1viarisu , @sleepyharuu , @izayumi-chan , @tamashiiraiden.
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Hi.
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keets-writing-corner · 3 months
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One thing I noticed is that Lucifer doesn't disassociate when singing, and what's one common factor in his songs? Charlie, so I like to imagine that in these instances he's so focused on her that his depression temporarily takes a back seat because he loves his kid so much that he forgets why he's sad in the first place.
ooh I like your headcanons!
hmm I guess we could look at this a couple of different ways (some of what I'm about to say comes from personal experience which may be different than what some other people experience so idk feel free to agree or disagree with my musings)
So dissociation doesn't [technically] affect your ability to speak, it affects your ability to focus. The way I was talking about it in my analysis was that it nerfed Lucifer's conversation comprehension, with him being unable to follow along the entire time (and consequently either has NO idea what anyone is talking about or only gets half the picture).
The only times Lucifer really fumbles his words is when he gets nervous around Charlie either cuz he's trying to make a good impression
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Or when he realizes his depression is biting him in the ass and he just missed crucial pieces of information and cannot bluff his way through the conversation
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Although shout out to that one time we caught him realizing he needed to bluff and stumbled a little
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But otherwise, he articulates himself perfectly fine, cuz again, dissociation isn't about speaking ability so much as it is about focus. Even in my bouts of dissociation I can verbalize myself just fine for the most part, it's whether or not what I have to say is relevant to the conversation, which uh Lucifer also showed off at some point when he thought Charlie was asking him about the hotel's appearance rather than her actual plan to redeem sinners and comments on the railings. (Or idk there is another interpretation that he was avoiding the subject, maybe it was both he disassociated while Charlie was explaining everything to him but did catch that she wanted to redeem sinners at some point, but didn't quite understand what she was asking until she clarified? he didn't seem surprised when she did clarify so I'm assuming he ended up catching it at least once)
So I'm bringing this up because it ends up being kinda hard to tell whether or not he is or is not disassociating when he sings, cuz the dissociation wouldn't affect the singing at all.
When he's having a sing battle against Alastor, sure he's articulating himself well and presenting his points, but we don't actually know whether or not he's following along what Alastor is saying. Honestly, Lucifer vs Alastor just seemed like 2 territorial chickens yelling at each other trying to be louder than the other one. Maybe Lucifer is catching everything cuz his jealous and rage helped him focus for once, maybe he's not catching everything but he doesn't need to catch everything to know that he doesn't like Alastor and he doesn't need to focus to tell Alastor how much he dislikes him.
But what about the other two songs, "More than Anything" and "Finale"?
He is technically outright having a conversation with Charlie in the first one and in the second one, he seems fully aware of the context of the situation and is focusing more on a lifting spirits role
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Well it could be a lot of things I think. I don't think it's that the depression or the sadness took a back seat, that's still present. From my own experiences, it is possible to get yourself to focus in a dissociative episode when the subject matter is something you're passionate about or in Lucifer's case, someone that he loves. We know the dissociation was unfortunately strong enough that it was making him miss out on a lot of things Charlie (aforementioned loved one) was telling him, especially in the beginning.
But looking at "More than Anything" what changed in that scene? He was with Charlie the entire episode but that was the first scene where he really managed to hold a conversation. I think it was a combination of: Okay his baby girl is there and she NEEDS him, and he opens up as to why he's hesitant about her plan. He's not explicit with the mention of his trauma, but trauma does make someone more alert. I'd also like to give a special shout out to @in-fair-verona-we-set-our-scene who made these lovely tags on my analysis post
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Specifically, I want to talk about that they mention that Lucifer is being a lot more genuine in his song with Charlie, aka he's not masking. He's not trying to hide or bluff how he's doing. He's not putting on a show, he's not being goofy or larger than life, he's being genuine and his genuine self is tired, sad and resigned. Let me tell you, my dissociation is 100% worse when I'm masking.
I think in "More Than Anything" a mix of things are going on, he's not needing to mask for a minute which boosts the focus, he's opening up about trauma and it's being gently received which boosts focus, and he's talking to someone he loves about something he was once passionate about which boosts focus. So ye! It could entirely be that in that song he was not dissociating!
As far as "Finale" I legitimately can't really tell whether or not he is? He's not really having a conversation with anyone, he's just trying to uplift his daughter, and again, in my experiences, dissociation doesn't necessarily nerf your ability to speak. We also know that he knows how to put on a show even in the depths of the dissociation like in "Hell's Greatest Dad" soooo as for that song... -shrug-?????
There is an element here that we have to take into account. Hazbin Hotel is a traditional musical, so we must look at a theater saying, "When the emotion becomes too strong for speech, you sing." Which is more or less what happened in all the songs Lucifer was a part in, so there's definitely some meta technical things going on in that a song wouldn't be very dramatic if the person singing it was dissociating the whole time? I mean I guess it could be done, I've just never seen it? Usually the musical number has to be clear in its purpose. The protagonist of Dear Even Hansen can sing just fine when any other speaking parts he fumbles with his words a lot.
AAAAAAALLL of this to say: Does Lucifer stop disassociating when he sings? -shrugs- I think it really depends on the context, but I wouldn't at all be surprised cuz high emotion can lead to greater focus in a moment. Although it's really cute to think that he doesn't dissociate cuz singing with Charlie is just that much of a boost for him cuz he loves his wittle girl
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sunbloomdew · 10 months
Text
Love Confessions in the Baxter DLC
The sequel! Monochrome obsession continues. Part 2/3
Part 1 "The Wedding Confession"
Welcome, or hello again! I played the Baxter DLC a couple of times and I like it a lot, so I wanted to ramble about some of my favourite parts. Specifically about love confessions in Baxter’s version of Step 4, because they are all very well written and make me feel good :3
Reading the first part of this "series" isn't necessary, the introduction is just a bit more thorough in the first post. Furthermore if you've read the first part it might seem like i'm repeating myself with certain points, since those moments share some similarities and i like to be meticulous.
It is time for the second confession and the last one that can be initiated by the player. If you don’t confess here and pick an option in which MC expresses hope of Baxter returning their feelings, you will later reach the moment where Baxter asks MC out himself. This confession is my personal favourite, so prepare for me losing my mind over every single detail.
Spoilers for Baxter DLC!
The confessions all happen after the wedding ceremony, so if you hadn't played to this point yet, i recommend skipping this post (and maybe coming back later, if you wanna chat about them with me)! I may not bring up every single line, but i think this post still covers a good part of what happens.
I call this confession, The Morning Confession, because it takes place on the morning after the wedding! Simple name but it does the job.
There is also another reason for this name, but i'll get to it later.
The wedding is over and most stuff had been cleaned up. MC returns with Baxter to his apartment, after accepting his invitation to stay with him until they have to come back to their home. The two have finally reunited and they aren’t ready to part ways yet.
During that evening, MC and Baxter share a moment by the fireplace in the lobby of the building. I wanted to dedicate some time to this moment, because I think it’s a valuable context to the confession. And aside from providing insight into the mind of Baxter Ward, I love the way it’s written. So sue me, i wanna talk about it.
Despite the fact that they have reconciled, Baxter’s reasoning behind his actions still isn’t fully clear to MC. While being in the company of other people made the lingering unease between them bearable, it still remains. They can't act casually, as if nothing had happened, as if the years hadn’t been lost. So Baxter offers to clarify his point of view. “As sorry as I am, I don’t think I’ve been as open as I could have been” he says and well, that is the truth.
If the player chose to confess to Baxter before this conversation, this moment provides a deeper understanding of the character and explains his reluctance to accept the confession.
It is here by a fireplace – a fitting spot for another personal conversation, considering the duo's shared history – that Baxter reveals his innermost thoughts and fears. At his core, he believes he doesn’t contribute anything to any relationship, because he can't see his own value. And to him, if he doesn’t add anything, then he has no right to form and be in deep, mutually supportive relationships.
Baxter convinced himself that he doesn’t matter. That his only worth is in the entertainment he can provide or the help he can give. In his own words, he doesn’t know what it means to be significant to a person, just by being yourself. Which is why he doesn’t let people get close to him. He assumes that upon finding out that there is nothing more to him, they will leave. So it’s better to not let anybody get to know him, that way no one can be disappointed by his “true” self. He is unable to see that none of that is true because deep down, he thinks he is worthless as a person.
Those feelings about himself are something that have influenced Baxter’s decisions about relationships with other people, for example with Xavier. As the baker reveals later, they always felt that if Baxter had no reason to contact them again, he wouldn't. He kept himself away from others and believed that every connection he makes isn’t meant to last.
Still, Baxter wanted to create bonds with other people. And it terrified him.
He wanted to have that with MC, but he was too afraid to take that chance five years ago. It couldn't have worked out back then. Baxter had his assumptions about himself and others, and he held onto them strongly. It’s sad, but there was no way to make him change his ways back then. He was set on leaving no matter what would have happened.
This Baxter is different from the 19 year old who put his comfort above all else. During that conversation by the fireplace he is being vulnerable in ways he never allowed himself to be before. He tells MC that he missed them over those five years. That they made him feel wanted that summer, and as incredible as it felt, he couldn’t believe it would last. He makes it clear that it wasn’t any of MC’s actions that made him feel that way - he applied this mindset to every connection he made at that time.
It’s incredibly sad to witness his thoughts out in the open like that. I think Baxter’s struggles are something most of us can relate to in some way. Low self-esteem can make people withdraw from social situations and spiral into self-hatered. It’s terrible, to be so wrapped up in disliking yourself that you assume that nobody could ever like you. That you have no good qualities as a person, so you have to make up for them somehow. It can feel like it'll stay this way forever, and so there is no point in trying to connect with others.
However that is not true. In the end, Baxter came to understand this as well. He is worthy of love and friendship. He grew and learned from his past mistakes, and so can we.
He apologises to MC once again, and expresses deep regret over not staying in contact with them. And at last, MC can say that they actually know Baxter Alexander Ward.
I think this moment is really beautiful. It’s an apology without excuses, that provides an explanation. Baxter never had malicious intentions, but even so, his actions had hurt people who cared for him (and who he cared about), so he owns up to his mistakes and does his best to correct them.
Aside from being a really good moment of taking accountablity and being vulnerable with another person this conversation also sets the mood for the morning confession. The air is finally cleared. These two characters can finally show how much they value each other because there is mutual understanding and trust between them again. It will take some time to get to know each other after so long, but they are willing to try, and they know they can be honest.
After a day full of emotional revelations, Baxter and MC finally head to bed. Not only the characters, but the players can take a breath and prepare for what’s to come. And boy are we in for a treat.
The next day arrives and the players are given an option to sleep in as much as they want. What time MC wakes up will have an effect on dialogues and is one of the many examples of how the game lets us customize the protagonist however we want, even in the silliest ways. It is something i deeply appreciate about the Our Life series. The comfort level also changes the lines, for example MC's response to Baxter greeting them in the morning.
Eventually the sleeping beauty wakes up and the pair moves to the living room. Despite sleeping in for a while Baxter is still out of it and it’s so adorable (he's just like me fr).
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I think the tone set for the confession is lovely. The atmosphere in the morning is relaxing and light and to me it feels like this is exactly what those characters needed. A new day has arrived, not only literally but figuratively for their relationship. There is no negative tension in the air, just the feeling of peace. They are clearly enjoying each other's company and it's great to finally have that again.
This is only my opinion, but the way this moment feels is exactly why i like it more than the wedding confession. The previous confession is meant to feel rushed, high on emotions and full of determination to declare the feelings right away. MC feels like they have to be upfront about their feelings in that moment so they confess. I do enjoy this type of tension, but i simply prefer this kind of setting. As much as i love convincing Baxter to truly express his feelings by shooting down the reasons not to date him (it's so intense and dramatic! absolutely amazing) i find that i like this quiet admission of feelings more.
While it might not be that intense as the moment right after the wedding, there is still this nagging feeling that urges MC not to wait any longer. They love that they are included in this private corner of Baxter's life and they wish they could have been before. It's this feeling of not wanting to lose any more time, that makes them think about confessing then and there.
And so, the player is presented with a choice:
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It is time to confess! Hallelujah.
Just like in the wedding confession we can pick the way we want to confess - with words or with a gesture. If we pick the third option you lose the chance to confess yourself. Instead Baxter will do this when the time comes.
Upon choosing one of the ways to confess, MC has the same internal monologue they do in the wedding confession. I've already shared my thoughts about it in the previous post, but i'll just say here that it's a very nice scene. They reminisce about their relationship with Baxter as a whole, eventually coming to the conclusion, that they can hold on to him.
After the monologue ends, the player has a chance to reaffirm their decision, as they did in the previous confession.
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If you back out, MC thinks that they can be together just not in the way they'd want to. They are afraid of confessing, in case they ruin what they just got back and make Baxter run away.
But, if you reaffirm your decision, you get my personal favourite confession scene. Let's get right into it!
I mentioned in Part 1 that Baxter reacts to MC's silence, as they reminisce about their relationship. I find it a little funny when i imagine them just sitting in silence and staring intensely for a while. Kinda like when magical girls have their transformations and the bad guys don't do anything to interrupt them. MC monologuing definitely gives off the same energy. Writing inner monologues is tricky like that.
During the wedding confession Baxter is anxious and worried, waiting to receive MC's verdict. Do they welcome him back to their life? Or do they reject him (even though there is no such option in the game)?. It's stressful and the prolonged silence makes Baxter slowly come back to his usual behaviour to protect himself, in case his vulnerability was the wrong move.
This isn't the case here. His reaction is wildly different. There is no tension or stress, just curiosity and anticipation. Instead of being nervous he is very smug, clearly knowing or at least suspecting what MC is thinking about. I gotta say, when i first picked this option i was stunned. I did NOT expect him to act in this way, but it was a pleasant surprise. Mr. Ward is very perceptive and i love this confident attitude of his.
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MC asks him what is on his mind, and he comes back to reality. Baxter encourages them to continue, but they insist he tells them what's going on. And that's what he does. He says that he was remembering a "funny story". Then he asks MC if they want to know something absolutely embarrassing. With that kind of an opening, how could they refuse?
Baxter tells them that Jude and Scott attempted to speak to him about his and MC's... situation. He was surprised that they noticed he was sad and wanted to help him, when he was supposed to be doing that with their relationship. I think it was his feelings of inferiority that made him feel that way.
Moving on, the reason he brought that up wasn't to draw attention to how his poor relationship management skills made others concerned for him. But rather to point out, that the men knew, that MC is important to Baxter. Baxter states that he was grateful they met and despite ending their relationship five years ago, he was never sorry he knew MC. He is kinda chaotic with his admission, one second bringing up the chat with the grooms and the other expressing his affection for MC.
Understandably, it makes MC confused. They thought they were the one leading the dance - or the conversation in this case - but clearly now it's Baxter doing that (i mean he is a professional). Even so, he isn't as good with his words as usual and doesn't quite manage to convey what he wants to MC.
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He thanks MC for letting him "ramble" for so long and stands up. Shit's getting real. We're about to enter the boss fight.
He moves to sit on the edge of the coffee table, which puts him at the eye level with MC, only closer than before. And then this silly man leans closer acting all calm and confident. Dude. Please. Everytime i play this moment i lose my precious ability to formulate thoughts, not to mention actual sentences. Because. Oh my god.
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And then he hits you with THAT. He absolutely knew what MC was thinking about and he is having a lot of fun with teasing them. They realize that he caught on to what was going on and figure that at least it makes it easier to confess. The dialogue varies in this place because of the comfort level - these are their thoughts on the Direct setting. They also think about how hard would it be to tell him they liked him before he opened up to them. I find it pretty funny, because it’s clearly a tiny poke, towards players who did confess right after the wedding and faced this struggle. When you’re replaying those moments it does make you chuckle.
Now we can finally confess our feelings! When doing that verbally there are a couple of options to choose from, as in the case of the wedding confession. One of the options is: "Could I consider all the time we spent together a date?" and you already know i love this one. It's playful, it's a reference to when Baxter asked MC out five years ago, it's perfect. There is no contender, i always choose it.
...Is what i would say, but i actually always choose the option to confess with a kiss during this feelings reveal.
Confessing with a kiss looks a bit different from the first confession. This time there aren't multiple options to choose where we want to kiss him, MC goes straight (or is it?) for the lips. And the way that kiss is described is everything to me. I'm an absolute sucker for kissing scenes and this one is just so, so, so good! I cannot find fitting words in english (and neither can i in polish) so i'll just drop one screenshot from it and move along before i combust.
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It's so tender and sweet and adorable please-
While Baxter was acting super confident and cocky, the second MC declares their love for him/moves to kiss him he turns into a shy, blushing mess. Despite knowing or at least suspecting what MC was about to do he is still caught of guard. I think that his reaction is absolutely adorable. Baxter doesn't blush a lot, so it's always a treat when he does.
We can choose to tell Baxter, that MC wanted to be with him even five years ago and this stuns him again.
Now that MC have confessed their love they're waiting for Baxter to respond. But GOD, is he struggling. It's the first time Baxter is so flustered and it makes me so giddy. He allows himself to show how much MC means to him and holy shit, this man cannot look at them for too long because he will just blush even harder.
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From the way he is acting it's already clear that he reciprocates MC's feelings. But the fact that he gets so shy? Stole my heart, sir how dare you be so cute.
Of course, Baxter Ward cannot stay flustered for long and he eventually recovers. Damn it.
His response to the confession is so sweet. He basically says "my turn" and tells MC all the things he loves about being with them, how they made him feel and how much he appreciates them. There is still a moment of self-loathing, when Baxter regrets trying to keep MC out of his life- twice. He is surprised that MC still has feelings for him, still wants to be with him despite all the pain he caused them.
He still brings up all the potential reasons why this could be a bad idea. Limited connections, his current financial situation and his past ways of managing relationships. But unlike in the Wedding Confession, here those aren't statements for MC to refute. I'd say they are less of a warning for MC and more of an expose of himself, to be sure that he revealed everything he considers a flaw before accepting their confession. "By all accounts, I shouldn't be doing this. But I am." - those are his words. Even if he still has his doubts, he isn't going to turn MC down anymore. If he let them go now, in fear of potentially not being enough in this relationship, he would regret it.
And so that is his response: "If you'll have me you will have me." Don't mind if i do- yoink.
While he calmed down a bit for this admission, he gets flustered yet again. It's so adorable to see him be so affected by MC and this situation.
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Baxter says that it was easier asking MC out himself all those years ago. He is still so out of it that he voices out loud that he has no idea what to do now. His usual grace and poise are still on leave it seems. He follows it up with that it would be the best if he switched from sitting on the coffee table to somewhere with a backrest, just in case. Dude. Baxter is so strongly impacted by this confession that he is fully aware that there is a possiblity that he will just topple down. I'm melting, it's so cute!
He moves to the couch and MC joins him over there. Once Baxter calms down a bit, he says he is starting to "remember some possiblities" and the two kiss again. I can't even begin describe how much i love the way the kissing moments are written. They're amazing and i'm losing my mind.
The last question Baxter has is if his feelings were obvious to MC. He recounts when Jude asked him point-blank if he was still 'into' MC - we get a couple of dialogue answers to pick, either reacting to Jude even asking about it or answering Baxter's question.
And that is the end of this confession! Baxter overcomes his sheepishness at last, no longer blushing intensely. Quite a shame, but i think we all love his usual charming self as well.
There are no more reservations about showing his true feelings. The pair has been reunited after five years and are finally ready to start a long-term relationship. Good for them <3
Baxter shares one last thought at the end of this long conversation:
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And yes, this is the other reason why i call this confession the Morning Confession specifically! It's entirely because of Baxter pointing it out. And because he is so surprised about this turn of events.
The second part is finally over! I worked on it during those two weeks (holy fuck, why) it took me to post it. I'm a bit bummed it took me this long to finish it, but i did my best <3
This part is definitely longer than the first, the brainrot got to me. I haven't started the third part yet but i already replayed the last confession scene and honestly? I forgot how good it was compared to the other two! Shame on me, truly.
See you in the third part! Peace out~
Part 1
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kingofpopmj · 16 days
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hii. can you please do an imagine, where michael in his mature era (aka: mac daddy mike), has a naive soon to be wife, and she doesn't know ANYTHING about sexy times, so Michael decides to teach her. Please and ty
Oooo hunni! You guys keep summoning Naughty Nevaeh lol
Here you go! I hope you enjoy.. 🙈
Teacher’s Pet
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Michael and I had finally arrived home after a long day full of appearances. It was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. The hysteria that follows Michael wherever he goes is unfathomable, yet he handles it with such grace. Usually, we keep a safe distance at public events, I appear more so as apart of his entourage than his partner, but it’s how we planned it. However, that was all in the past, now that I’m his fiancée we decided I’d be by his side. We were more than ready. As always he was extremely protective of me and made sure I felt safe. We announced our engagement only a few days prior. Michael and I were elated, the media on the other hand was relentless, I was labeled a gold digger, Michael was attacked and mocked— nothing too out of the norm, which pissed me off to no end, but he insisted I bite my tongue. He ensured me that he could handle it. It was tough to say the least. The noise surrounding us was so hateful— so loud and they were all rooting against us. It was infuriating. Unfortunately, as much as I tried to ignore the noise, it successfully added fuel to the flames of my own insecurities and I had no idea how to come clean to Michael, but it had to happen and soon.
“Baby?” I heard Michael’s voice, along with his footsteps nearing his— our bedroom— where I was currently hiding. “There you are! What’s wrong?”
“Hi. Nothing. Nothing” I answered quickly.
“You haven’t been yourself all day. I know these events can be draining. The crowds of people, the bright lights and the screaming. It’s a lot to get used to. If you don’t like them I promise I won’t force you to attend. I’ll understand. It won’t upset me.” The concerned look on his face made the knot in my stomach tighten. “Are you having doubts? Do you not want to get married?” My heart ached at the pain evident in his voice.
“No! Michael, of course not. I love you.”
“I love you more.”
“I’m sorry. I know I wasn’t the best date tonight.” I tried to ease my way into this conversation.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“No. It’s just last night—”
“I knew it. I’m sorry if I did too much. I was trying to be spontaneous you know? I completely understand if you want to wait until our wedding night. No matter what it’ll be perfect.”
“It’s not that I want to wait.”
“Talk to me.” He whispered with pleading eyes.
“I’m— I’ve never really— I don’t—” I began stuttering, unable to complete a sentence, my hands trembling as I tried desperately not to hyperventilate.
“Woah. Okay, breathe. Baby, it’s okay. Everything is okay.” Michael wrapped his arms around me, leaving a kiss on my forehead and began to sing to me softly.
Every night she walks right in my dreams
Since I met her from the start
I'm so proud I am the only one
Who is special in her heart
The girl is mine
“Keep going.” I smiled into his chest, loving the sound of his voice.
“Baby, if you wanted me to sing for you, all you had to do was ask.”
“You’re so annoying.” I playfully rolled my eyes, moving to sit on the bed.
“I’ll keep going if—” he paused dramatically, putting his hand in the air. “You tell me what’s on your mind. You can talk to me about anything.”
“I’m nervous about going further because—” I drifted off, feeling overwhelming embarrassment. “I’m a virgin.” I said barely above a whisper.
The only clue I was given that Michael heard my confession was how his grip on my hand loosened before pulling away all together. This was just what I was afraid of, he’s going to leave me.
“I should’ve told you sooner. I’m sorry Michael. I understand if—” I couldn’t bring myself to finish the sentence, so instead I slowly twisted the engagement ring off my finger, trying to fight the tears that threatened to fall as I reached my hand out to return the ring to Michael.
“No. No. I don’t want it back. No. Baby, it belongs right here.” He spoke softly, he sat down next to me as he slid the ring back onto my finger. “Thank you for telling me. I’m sorry if I pressured you. It wasn’t my intention.”
“I don’t feel pressured. I want to. I want to be with you. I just— I’m terrified of disappointing you.”
“You could never disappoint me.” Michael moved closer to me, pulling me into his chest. “I love you so much.”
Suddenly, I didn’t feel afraid, with the weight of my confession finally off my shoulders, I was able to feel something else. Love. Desire. Yearning. Craving. It was all I could feel and I couldn’t help myself— I couldn’t wait any longer. I looked up at him, his beautiful chocolate brown eyes staring back at me. I grasped at his collar with my fingers, pulling him into me, desperately needing him as close as possible. He kissed me back, his hands finding the small of my back, holding me tenderly. I moved into his lap, straddling him as our kiss intensified. I began to unbutton his shirt, before I heard Michael’s voice.
“Slow down.” He gently took my hands into his. “Baby, we don’t have to do this right now. I’ll wait as long as you need. You’re more than worth the wait.”
“All I need is you. Right now. I’m ready.”
“Are you positive?”
“Yes, just maybe talk me through it? Teach me a thing or two? I really want you to enjoy it.”
“Baby, I’m already enjoying it.” He smiled, gesturing to the erection poking into my inner thigh. “Just call me Professor Jackson.” He said, with a flirtation wink.
“You’re making me blush!” I giggled, burying my face in his neck. “I’m trying to be serious! Sexy even..”
“You’re always sexy. You don’t have to try.” He spoke lowly, picking me up, laying me back on the bed as he placed himself between my legs. “Oh, I can do serious.”
“Michael!” I yelped, feeling his warm hand slipping underneath my dress, moving up my thigh teasingly.
“Relax. Let me teach you.”
“Please. Teach me.” I begged, the anticipation building as his hand hovered between my legs, fiddling with the lace of my panties. Michael kneeled down in front of me, causing the air to get stuck in my lungs.
“Do you trust me?” He whispered, his breath tickling my thigh. I was desperate for more.
“Yes.”
“Yes what?” He asked, looking deep into my eyes, his long fingers slipped underneath the lace, his touch sending a shiver throughout my body.
“I trust you, Professor Jackson.”
“Oh, that sounds so much better coming out of your beautiful mouth.” He smirked, kissing me and quite literally taking my breath away. He ripped off the lace that covered my modesty, this side of Michael was quickly becoming my favorite.
I felt an overwhelming urge to scream as Michael began moving his fingers in a circular motion. My breathing becoming unsteady, struggling to process the pleasure I was feeling for the very first time.
“It’s all about touch.” He whispered. “It comes naturally once you stop overthinking.” His pace increasing as he spoke. “When two people are as connected as you and I— every kiss, every touch, everything feels— amplified.”
“Michael! Michael!” My body shaking, falling back into the mattress, suddenly I didn’t feel his fingers anymore. I felt something else— something even better. I slowly glanced down, seeing the top of Michael’s head, his face buried between my legs. The sight alone was enough to drive me crazy. I could feel his tongue, the way it curved, the way it moved, the way it sent shocks of electricity through me. My back arched, unintentionally thrusting my hips forward, locking my leg around the back of his neck. I began to curse profusely, feeling his hand slowly travel up under the fabric of my dress, the skin to skin contact made me shiver as he took a firm hold of my breast.
“Oh! My!” I felt a build up in my core, gripping the comforter tightly, attempting to ground myself, but there was no use. My thighs clenched around Michael’s head as a sound fell from my lips— one I didn’t know I was capable of.
“Just breathe.” I heard his voice, as his fingers slid the straps of my dress down my arms. He leaned down kissing and sucking down my neck. I squeezed my eyes shut. “I got you.”
“Please—” I pleaded between my gasps for air. I had no idea what I wanted. I just knew I didn’t want this to end. Not yet.
“I’m going to try something first.” Michael said before I felt his lips on my nipple. “How does that feel?”
“So good.”
“Open.” Michael murmured, gently tapping my knees. I did as I was told, watching as he removed his pants, taking a place in between my legs.
“Is it going to hurt?” I said quietly.
“I’d never hurt you.” He grabbed my arms, placing them above my head and intertwined our fingers. “I’ll go slow.”
As he looked into my eyes, the sensation of him entering me ignited a flutter in my chest, tears of pleasure puddled my eyes and I squeezed his hands so tight I began losing feeling in my fingers. Once he was fully buried inside of me he made gentle movements by rotating his hips in small circles. The tingle that raced through me was indescribable. I never knew that this feeling existed, but now that I do, I was sure that the reason was because subconsciously I was waiting for Michael.
“Michael!” I cried, ripping one hand free, tightly gripping his shoulder, digging my finger nails into his skin.
“Y/N, baby, you have to loosen up.” He said sweetly, unwrapping my legs that were locked around him. “Now, I can do this.” He started carefully moving in and out of me. As great as it felt I craved more. “How does that feel?”
“God. I love that.”
“I have an idea.” Michael said, moving away from me, I frowned, ready to protest until he laid on his back pulling me on top of him.
“What are you doing?” I panicked, at the extreme withdrawal and our new position.
“Teaching.” He smirked. “You’re going to learn how to ride me.” He said so seductively it gave me goosebumps.
“What if I hurt you?”
“You won’t. Just follow my instructions. All you have to do is—” He guided my hips with his hands, explaining what I had to do, but I couldn’t hear a thing. I was to focused on wanting him inside of me again. As he spoke I slowly spread my legs, coming closer to him until I felt his tip. The rush it gave me was so intense, my knees slid further across the silk comforter and I felt our full connection again. Michael’s eyes widen at my speed, he briefly glanced down, admiring how I took him whole. “Oh god!”
“Oh crap! Did I hurt you?” I panicked.
“No. No. It feels amazing. I just— wow. You’re a fast learner.”
“Well, I have a great teacher.” I slowly began to move my hips, watching Michael bite his bottom lip, his hands squeezing my thighs firmly.
“Baby. You’re gonna make me—”
“Make you what?” I questioned, slowing my pace, waiting for his answer. “Am I doing this wrong?” I felt my cheeks heat up from embarrassment as I stopped my movements all together.
“Don’t stop!” He moaned loudly. Holy shit. That was so hot. I began moving my hips like my life depended on it. Michael had beads of sweat on his forehead and his chest was glistening. “Baby, I’m gonna— I’m almost—”
“Michael!” I begged, Michael pulled me down onto his chest as I felt him twitch inside of me.
“You feel so perfect.” He purred in my ear as we lay still for a few seconds before Michael excitedly propped himself up on his elbows. He rolled us over, so he was now looking down at me. I laid against the mattress with a confused look on my face.
“We’re gonna be here all night.” He finally spoke as he touched my lips with his.
“Well, I do have more to learn. If you’re interested in teaching into after school hours.” I teased, wrapping my legs around his hips.
“Your wish is my command.” He declared, kissing me sweetly before he started up again, his quick pace taking me by surprise.
The wooden bed frame shrieked against the floor boards with each thrust. Our kiss becoming sloppy, needy even. Everything felt so intense. I couldn’t catch my breath, but I didn’t care. As long as Michael stayed on top of me, beneath me— inside me, I didn’t care about anything else. It’s just us.
“Amazing.” I breathed out, working up the courage to speak. “Can I— can I try to use my mouth?” I asked nervously, staring straight up at the ceiling. Michael slowed down, dragging his finger along my jawline, forcing me look into his eyes.
“Baby, you can do whatever you want to me.”
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gilly-moon · 4 months
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Also blackice 👁️👁️
when I started shipping it if I did:
Basically from the moment I first saw the movie in theaters lol.
my thoughts:
So??? Many?????? But hey I already wrote most of them out in a long-ass fanfic aka my love letter to this ship
What makes me happy about them:
That they see bits of themselves in each other. That they understand - really understand - what it means to be lonely and how deeply that can harm someone. That they're both angry in their own right about the situation they've been living in for centuries. That they've experienced love and have loved in return, only to have it cruelly torn away. That they find solace in each other over these things, and bring their own strengths to the table as they connect and heal together.
What makes me sad about them:
The idea that they're in a cycle that may never be broken. Fear and the Shadows will always have their claws in Pitch's back, and even if he tries to break free, he will always be haunted by them. Jack may have the Guardians and believers, but what if those believers fade before they can spread his story? Will he be all alone again, invisible and unable to connect to the children he holds so dear? Will the cycle repeat again?
things done in fanfic that annoys me:
Generally just...mischaracterization I think? Sometimes people write Pitch to be way too nice and thoughtful, or Jack to be way too reserved/timid. To each their own, but...them aren't my boys.
things I look for in fanfic:
Possessive Pitch™. It's a requirement. But other than that, I'm generally in one of two moods: bad ending type fics where Pitch is still a Bad Guy and ropes Jack into a relationship willingly or unwillingly, OR mutual recovery fics where they're both trying to heal from the deep wounds isolation has inflicted on them. Bonus points for mention of Kozmotis/Emily.
Who I’d be comfortable them ending up with, if not each other:
Hm...I don't think I have any other romantic ships for Pitch. A friendship with Sandy or (a begrudging one) with North would be nice. As for Jack, even though I don't ship it myself and it's technically a crossover, the HiJack artists have successfully invaded my brain with cute af art of those two. Jack & Katherine is also pretty cute.
My happily ever after for them:
'Happily ever after' doesn't quite feel like their brand. They're immortal, after all, so I think they'd define things in simpler terms. But I like to think the point at which they've 'made it' or whatever, is when they're able to rely on each other without question - to be each other's constant in an ever-changing world.
who is the big spoon/little spoon:
Pitch is big spoon, but Jack probably sleeps in ridiculous positions or ends up laying on top of Pitch instead, so spooning is a rare occurrence.
what is their favorite non-sexual activity:
Genuinely these two are so conversation- and touch-deprived that just spending time together is enough. Whether is chatting on the go while Jack spreads his icy magic across the globe, or just hanging out in Pitch's cave, Jack really likes to talk, and Pitch really likes to listen. I also love in fics when they play board games together ♡
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raviolitin · 2 months
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When did David Nolan stop hating Killian Jones? - a discussion:
I see so many opinions on this ranging from “At the end of s3” to “At the end of s6” and i’ve always wanted to actually evaluate when and where David’s hate for Hook actually disappeared.
After due thought, I can’t bring myself to believe that it’s any later than good form (3x05). Keep in mind that by his “hatred disappearing” I don’t mean any issues the two have being wiped away, I simply mean when David stopped having an intense disliking for him that got in the way of them having a civil relationship.
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More specifically, this exact scene is where I think the turning point lies, with David behaving distinctly differently before and after this exchange happens.
But let’s back up a bit before we can start talking about this scene and analyse exactly why David hates Hook.
From the start of their relationship, David has let Hook’s reputation (both as Captain Hook and the reputation being a pirate alone garners you) cloud his judgement of him as a person. It’s shown time and time again that David despises thieves and pirates and criminals. He seems to view these types of people as absolute scum and is very stubborn about that assumption. That’s why I think the main problem with their relationship is that David is completely incapable of empathising with Hook on any level.
We can see through scenes like this one at the start of good form that David’s main issue is being unable to see Hook as an actual human beyond his villainy, practically viewing it as impossible for him to have real thoughts, feelings and emotions.
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He calls him “nothing but a pirate” because that’s all he sees him as, not being able to be a complex person in David’s eyes. All David sees is a pirate and the connotations of that position, nothing more. That’s why it’s so easy for him to hurt his feelings and have no regret because he doesn’t recognise there are feelings to be hurt.
That’s why, when we look back to this scene, it becomes clear why David’s attitude changes.
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He picks up the military insignia and hears Hook’s story about his brother, and this is what i believe causes the change. It’s proof that Killian is a real person and he is more complex than just being a cutthroat pirate.
Killian had a family, he experienced loss, he was once in the navy (something I think is especially eye-opening for David, who struggles to see the noble people of the navy in the same vein as corrupt pirates) and David is seeing all of this for the first time. Suddenly, the illusion is shattered.
Hook is no longer this blank slate for him to project all of his hatred for immorality onto. He’s a real person with a real family and real thoughts and real feelings. Suddenly he isn’t “nothing but a pirate.”
David now empathises with him, not just in his own mind, but actually when speaking to him. He somewhat tries to keep up the hostile attitude, but it fades away quite quickly, turning to a kind of friendly interest.
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David actively choses to engage in conversation with Hook about his brother, sharing his experience with losing his own. He takes active interest in his past, genuinely engaging.
And while this does get overshadowed slightly by the banter the two start to share, this only further proves that David’s hatred isn’t as strong as before. Their jokes are now more light hearted, they’re not actually making each other angry nor are they being violent. Their conversation is much more friendly and you can see that in David’s demeanour especially. He’s smiling now, despite it all.
This is such a stark contrast to where they started. Hell, even a stark contrast to their dynamic at the start of the episode. Something’s changed between them, and it’s because of that small thing flipping a switch in David’s mind.
Though there’s still the issue of Hook pursuing Emma, I 1. don’t think that’s at the forefront of his mind right now. With everything going on, I’d say David’s mostly forgotten that gripe for the time being, and 2. David’s aversion to the idea of Hook and Emma together was mostly because he viewed Hook as pirate scum, which has now mostly gone away. (this is why David is less strongly against their relationship after this episode).
But then, why does he threaten Hook at Deadman’s peak??
If I think that David hasn’t hated Hook since that scene, then why do I think the two became hostile again later on?
Well, I think this is mostly to do with the deal David overhears between Hook and Pan.
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David has spent all day learning new things about Hook and having his bias challenged, he’s finally beginning to come around and see him in a more positive light. AND then he overhears Hook and Pan, and it all comes crashing down.
I think after this he immediately goes backwards, probably thinking himself foolish for even considering a possibility Killian could be anything but pure evil. Now he thinks anything good he’s even so much as considered about Hook is wrong, all being a facade to have David gone.
He probably doesn’t actually hear that much of the conversation, just assuming Hook was always planning to kill him. Was any of it real? Their conversations in 3x03 and 3x04 are probably being seen so differently in his mind now - and his hatred for Hook is stronger than ever.
That’s why he goes back to being insulting in the deleted scene, why he refuses to take his hook, why he’s so ready to pull a sword on him.
It’s all been not only reversed, but strengthened by tenfold. It’s one thing to know a man’s reputation of being a murderer, but it’s another to know you’ve been manipulated into being his next target.
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But then he calms down, and he realises Hook was on his side the entire time. His anger once again subsides and he sees Killian in a more positive light than ever. He lies once again just to give him credit, he willingly drinks the rum he previously spat out and he doesn’t insult him for a very long while.
Anyone who thinks David hates Hook or only begrudgingly spent time with him because of Emma is just wrong. David hadn’t hated Hook for a long time and it annoys me so much that s4 pretends he didn’t come around in 3a.
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jellyellymusings · 5 months
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Having a child in the modern world is a decision that is often taken way too lightly.
When I was 21, I made the decision to have a surgical sterilization procedure. Many of my family members were distraught, as you might imagine, but I assured them that it wasn’t a decision I made casually, nor on a whim. I knew this could be life altering, I knew I was very young to be making this choice, and so I did a lot of research, self reflection, and talking it through with my emotional support network. I’d known since I was a teenager that I’d never want to be a mom, but until I began searching for the reasons behind that gut instinct, I hadn’t realized how mammoth a task it really was. Actually, at the time I had to write an essay about this same topic - just for my own sake - in order to grapple with all of the nuances that it came with. There are so many facets to consider when making the choice to be a mom, or to never be one. When doing my initial research, I started out with the practical debate method: figure out the other side’s reasoning. Subsequently, I decided to simply… talk to moms: my mom, my sister, co-workers, friends. New moms, experienced moms, moms who’ve lost their children. Surprisingly, what I found was that most of the time, they had never given much thought to the “why,” they had just done what came naturally. 
My own mom’s story I already knew, and it likely played a big role in my ultimate decision. Both my sister and I, born 10 years apart, were “oopsies.” My dad, to put it lightly, was not the greatest, and being tied to him in such an inextricable way was detrimental to her mental health, and affects her to this day. Hers might be the most tragic of the stories I heard. One coworker, a soccer mommy of three in the most Rae Dunn way, had pictures of her kiddos tacked all over her cubicle. I asked her straight up, “Why did you decide to be a mom?” She told me, “I don’t know, I guess we wanted something cute and cuddly to play with. Like a puppy that talks!” Originally, I had planned to ask more questions, but I quickly changed topics and cut the conversation short after that. I was absolutely dumbstruck at how somebody could be so casual and flippant about the choice to create human life!
The way I see the decision to become a mom, you should be so beyond sure of yourself. And I don’t mean in the, “I’m going to be Super-Octomom and do everything perfect” way. I mean in the, “I have all of the emotional, financial, and spiritual support that is needed to raise a loved, loving human being, without sacrificing myself to do so,” way. I feel that if people stopped and asked themselves hard questions about it, they might think twice. Questions like, “Am I prepared to raise a child with special needs?”, “If I were to suffer personal tragedy, could I continue to give my child the love and support they deserve?”, and “if I bring a child into this world, will they be able to flourish in our future?” It seems that many mothers, if they have the option to ponder their decision at all, shy away from this kind of self-reflection. When my sister announced her third pregnancy, I was aware that her family was already suffering financial hardships. They still live in my dad’s home, often unable to pay the mortgage. I felt so afraid for the future of my soon-to-be nephew, not to mention the well being of my two already-forlorn nieces. Imagine my shock and discomfort at learning that her pregnancy had been planned, and eagerly awaited! They had decided that my youngest niece (14 years her sister’s junior) needed a playmate. As if they are pets to entertain. I’ll refrain from digressing more here, as it’s so close to home, but I’m sure you’re understanding my point. The decision to become a mother is the decision to create a life. To make one half of this decision without any consideration for the consequences on the other is, frankly, selfish and irresponsible. 
While at first I was angry at these moms for their seemingly frivolous attitudes, I’ve realized they aren’t to blame. It is, of course, a matter of cultural and societal expectations. When women are placed in the “baby-makers” box, and this is the most natural process your body can go through, it’s reasonable to not give much thought to it. However, I believe we are evolving, intellectually, past the norms of the naturalistic world. Humans have the cognitive ability to have foresight, consider consequences, and make our own decisions. Modern women now also have medical and technological advancements that make the choice to reject society’s ideas of your future even easier. We are freer than we have ever been in this regard (well… at least we were two years ago.), and I hope that the moms who are simply taking the expected path begin to realize that they have infinite potential.
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szampers · 4 days
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Today while walking in a group, someone approached and tried to make casual conversation with me, probably to have some company to beat the boredom of walking I suppose. Or it was just some small loneliness. Exchanged a few words, it pretty much ended as soon as it had started. There are reasons:
1. I physically could not bring myself to be interested in the subject, not even able to feign superficial interest
2. I am too often indulged in my own thoughts and I'm more than happy to remain there.
3. I struggle to verbalize my thoughts. Even if I happen to be interested, in that case I'd then feel the awful pain of being unable to express myself. That's the situational mutism (prefer this term over selective mutism)
4. I lack a will to talk. Having a spontaneous tendency to make conversation doesn't come to me. At all.
5. Tha hell do I have to say to you
5. The nerves act up a little
These are the main reasons behind my apparent eternal vow of silence! They likely take precedence over one another depending on the situation (and my mood). Moving on.
Even though the entire exhange only lasted 10 seconds or so, it derailed whatever thought proces I had and weighed on my mind for arguably far too long. I thought about how people could simply initiate conversations with each other and keep it afloat, as if it comes to them naturally. To them it probably does, much like how my natural state is to keep to myself unless I have No Other Options. While I struggle to imagine myself freely initiating, seeking and holding conversations, they might struggle to fathom why I've sworn my vow of silence.
An ability to express myself decently and a superficial interest would've helped out much back then. I feel if only I had these two skills, just these two, life would be so much easier. New set of skills do come with a new set of problems, but I imagine they're "lighter" to deal with. It's exhausting to ruminate on one thing constantly: Why. Can I not act like most people do, and how it is severely detrimental if I ever hope to integrate into society. At the very least I should be able to be sociable on a functional level. The bare minimum is good enough for me, as long as it's enough for me to get by without much grievances in life. Unfortunately I only barely reach even this level. Now this is another thing I think myself into oblivion about. Goes in line with the situational mutism.
I'm not obligated to owe anyone conversation, but it really does feel like I've failed a basic task. I doubt faking interest and indulging them would've made me feel much better than shutting it off quickly, but at least I wouldn't be ruminating the crap out of it. They say change comes depending on how much you want to change, and that's seemingly the only solid thing I'm holding onto which keeps me somewhat hopeful.
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justjensenanddean · 2 years
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The Boys' Jensen Ackles auditioned as another character to win Soldier Boy role
The Boys newcomer Jensen Ackles' new character is a far cry from his previous character, Supernatural's unlikely hero and demon hunter, Dean Winchester.
The actor has now suited up to play a shield-wielding, macho Captain America-like character — Soldier Boy — on The Boys, and he fought plenty hard to land the role.
Speaking to Digital Spy and other press about his audition process, Ackles admitted to not having even been long-listed initially for the role.
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"This was a big role for season 3. They knew it was coming up," said Ackles. "This was just before season 2 dropped — the studio was already kind of putting forward a shortlist of names, of which I was not on."
It wasn't until a casual conversation with Supernatural and The Boys creator, Eric Kripke, that the chance presented itself for him to get a foot in the door.
"I was talking to Kripke about something completely unrelated, and then I just mentioned that I had already seen season one. I was like, 'Hey, pal, I’m about to be done with Supernatural. You’ve got anything for me over there?'.
"And he kind of took a pause, and said, 'You know what? Yeah. Maybe. I’m going to send you something. Tell me what you think.'"
It only took reading "three lines" from the audition scene for Soldier Boy for Ackles to get back to Kripke with a simple "Who do I have to kill?".
However, the showrunner was quick to ground the actor. He warned that the audition process would be "an uphill battle because I can only do so much, but they're going to want to have a heavy influence on who they bring in for this role". And Ackles was not on any of their lists.
Still, the actor's response was: "'Listen, if you think I have a chance in hell, then I will take that chance'."
So, in the summer of 2020, while a pandemic was raging outside and people worldwide were secluded in their homes unable to step foot outside other than for groceries, Ackles attempted to film a two-person audition.
"I had to put myself on tape, and it was a scene with Soldier Boy and Butcher," he said. "And all I had at my disposal was my wife. Her reading Butcher's lines was not cutting it."
"You've got to show me this someday," chipped in the Butcher himself, Karl Urban.
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"So what I did was," Ackles added, "I recorded all of Butcher's lines, doing my best Butcher, and then had her play it back while I was doing the Soldier Boy lines in front of the camera.
"And that's how I made the tape. I sent it to Kripke, and he had some notes, and we went back and forth a few times."
Feeling content, the creator took the tape "up the ladder" with Ackles' parting words.
"I was like, 'Go with God'," the actor recalled. And fortunately, soon after Kripke "came back, and said, 'They signed off on you. Welcome to the show.'"
And that was that, Soldier Boy was found.
digitalspy
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Text
The Demigod From Asgard - Steve Rogers x Reader (Part 87)
Summary: The Avengers all regroup following the time heist
Word Count: 3.7k
Warnings: Heavy Angst! Grief! Talk of Loss! Language!
Dividers by @firefly-graphics​
Series Masterlist / Masterlist
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Chapter 87: A Soul For A Soul
Despite the fact there were more people at the compound than there had been in the last few years, it had never felt quieter. A heavy cloud fell over everyone, nobody saying a word, just doing what they needed to do.
After making sure all the stones were secure in the lab Steve made his way back to his room in the hopes that a shower would help… it didn’t. he could barely hold himself together, pressing his forehead against the cool tile, eyes screwed shut as he failed to hold back his tears.
He felt broken and like he had no one to turn to. Nat had been like his sister, she kicked him up the ass when he needed it, helped pull him out of that dark place after he lost you, she’d been his rock the past 5 years. She’d looked after JJ when he couldn’t.
JJ… Steve cursed under his breath, how on earth was he going to tell JJ that his favourite Aunt wasn’t going to be around anymore? He couldn’t, he just couldn’t bring himself to even think about that conversation right now, he needed time and some air.
Getting out of the shower he quickly got dressed and decided to go on a walk around the compound, hoping that maybe he’d have some sense of clarity. A sign or something that would tell him what to do.
As he walked around the compound he paused when he reached the small jetty on the lake. So many memories flooded his brain of all the times that you and him would escape and find peace here, the night he sat out here for hours waiting for you after an argument, the evening when he proposed. This small jetty meant so much to you and he really needed you right now, so he took a deep breath and stepped onto the jetty.
Sitting down on one of the benches he closed his eyes and counted out a few deep breaths, a technique his therapist taught him to help centre himself when things got too painful. Opening his eyes he glanced around, hoping that maybe he’d see you again, praying that you’d give him a reassuring smile, tell him it was going to be okay. But there was nothing, he remained alone on the jetty.
He wasn’t sure how long he’d been sitting there for, staring out at the water, when he heard the sound of footsteps approaching. Glancing over he saw Clint had joined him, leaning against one of the wooden pillars, staring straight out at the lake. Neither men said anything, they didn’t even acknowledge the others presence, they just remained in silence. Slowly the others joined them, first Bruce, then Thor and lastly Tony who came to stand next to Steve, briefly patting him on the shoulder. The action caused tears to slip from Steve’s eyes.
“it was a soul for a soul…” Clint says quietly “to get the stone you had to sacrifice something you love… I tried to stop her, tried to sacrifice myself but she stopped me… and- and i-“ Clint mutters looking down and shaking his head unable to finish his sentence.
“do we know if she had any family?” Tony asked quietly.
“yeah…” Steve said his voice thick with emotion as he recalled the time when she told him about her family, that they had all gone in the snap and the Avengers were all she had left “us”
Thor walked over to Tony a look of disbelief on his face “what?” he questions with a small shake of his head “what are you doing?”
“just asked him a question,” Tony says gently, turning to face Thor.
“yeah, no you’re acting like she’s dead,” Thor tells him “why are we acting like she’s dead? We have the stones right? As long as we have the stones Cap we can bring her back isn’t that right” Thor says looking down at Steve for confirmation.
Steve didn’t have an answer though, he wished he had an answer, a way to bring her back but he knew it was hopeless.
“so stop this shit. We’re the avengers. Get it together” Thor growled in Tony’s face.
“can’t get her back” Clint states.
Thor stutters in disbelief shaking his head at Clint “it can’t be undone” Clint reiterates “it can’t”
Thor scoffs shaking his head “look I’m sorry no offence but you’re a very earthly being okay? And we’re talking about space magic, and ‘can’t’ seems very definitive don’t you think?”
“yeah, look, I know I’m way outside my pay grade here” Clint states holding his hands up “but she still isn’t here is she?”
“no that’s my point,” Thor says.
“it can’t be undone,” Clint says his voice breaking “or that’s at least what the red floating guy had to say, maybe you wanna go talk to him okay?” Clint says getting more and more agitated “go grab your hammer and you go fly and talk to him” he yells.
Silence falls in the group once more, nobody knowing how to respond or what to say.
“it was supposed to be me” Clint finally mutters “she sacrificed her life for that goddamn stone, she bet her life on it”
Bruce then growls in anger throwing the bench he was standing next to across the lake “she’s not coming back, we have to make it worth it, we have to”
Steve nodded, a sense of determination fuelling him. He knew one thing for certain and that was that Nat would want them to carry on, to see this through and get everyone back “we will” he promised.
Tony nods “I can have the gauntlet ready in a couple of hours… but I think maybe we should wait until tomorrow morning to bring everyone back,” he says glancing over at Steve.
Steve goes to protest but Tony holds up a hand to silence him “I know we want everyone back sooner rather than later, but it's going to be chaos when it happens, we need to be in a better headspace so let's take the evening to regroup and we’ll do the snapping tomorrow morning” Tony says.
Everyone murmured in agreement, slowly making their way off the jetty “hey Captain” Steve heard Thor say behind him, glancing over his shoulder he saw Thor standing fiddling with his fingers “can we talk for a minute?”
Steve nods walking back over to Thor, leaning against one of the pillars as he waited for what Thor wanted to say.
“I wanted to apologise,” Thor says making Steve’s eyebrows raise in surprise, he didn’t know what he’d expected Thor to say, but it wasn’t that.
“on Asgard, I saw my mom, she could tell I was from the future and we got to talk, she- she told me that I needed to let go of some of my anger, stop lashing out at people who don’t deserve it… so I’m sorry Captain for what I said to you and to JJ, I let my anger blind me” Thor apologises looking down in shame.
Steve blows out a long breath of air nodding his head “it's okay…” he sighs “I knew you probably didn’t mean it and if I could go back I would change how I reacted too, I should have tried to help you, not push you away”
Thor forces a small smile “I deserved it, and you were right I couldn’t be around JJ in the state I was, am in, but I swear to be better and if you’ll let me I’d love to see him again”
Steve smiles gently nodding his head “I’m sure JJ would love that… and um Thor I am sorry I broke that promise- that I didn’t keep Y/N safe” Steve says his voice breaking slightly.
“you have nothing to apologise for, I know you did everything you could, I uh actually saw her on Asgard too, she was her usual self, pesky baby sister, and it reminded me of how happy you made her, looked after her after the death of Loki and our mother, I didn’t lie when I said I couldn’t imagine anyone better for her,” Thor tells him.
Steve nodded his head, smiling gratefully “I saw her too, in New York and god seeing her again…” he says shaking his head unable to voice to swell of emotions he was feeling.
Thor smiles nodding his head, understanding what had been left unsaid “I miss her” he sighs.
“me too, we’ve nearly got her back though” Steve agrees.
Thor lets out a low chuckle nodding his head “indeed, and I already know what she’ll have to say about this” he says rubbing his belly.
“That’s what siblings are for though right?” Steve smirks, Thor nodding his head in agreement, steve sighs deeply smiling to himself, glad that the two of them finally cleared the air “and look thor you are welcome round any time, just please make sure you’re sober”
Thor nods “deal, and to prove it,” Thor says pointing over at Steve before pulling his flask from his pocket “this is going,” he says tossing the flask into the lake.
“thank you, I look forward to reconnecting with you, maybe we can visit New Asgard sometime?” Steve suggests.
“New Asgard will always be open for you” Thor smiles nodding “now let's hug it out, it’s what Y/N would have wanted”
Steve chuckles nodding his head in agreement, because yes if you were here right now you would certainly be pushing the two of them in for a hug. The distance closes between them and the two men hug it out, Steve feeling a weight lifting off of his shoulders knowing he had Thor back in his corner, even if he was literally holding his breath right now.
“I should probably head home, I kinda want to just hold JJ right now” Steve sighs stepping back.
Thor nods a solemn expression on his face “what will you tell him?” he asks.
Steve shrugs his shoulder “honestly I don’t know… probably something along the lines of what I said when I talked to him about Y/N, how she’s up in the stars, it won’t be easy” he sighs.
“no, but I’m sure you’ll do your best” Thor nods “I’m going to go eat a salad, let me know if you need anything”
Steve smiles nodding his head “thanks Thor, same goes for you”
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It was around 4 pm when Steve got home, he quickly dumped his stuff in the house before walking across the front lawn towards Roberta’s house. Knocking quietly on the door it only took a few seconds for the door to fly open, Roberta’s eyes scanning him trying to get an answer.
“What happened?” she asks ushering him inside quickly.
“where’s JJ?” Steve asked quietly, glancing around.
“in the backyard playing with Scout, did it go wrong?” Roberta asks leading him over to the couch.
“no… no we got them all” Steve sighs rubbing his hands together as he sat down.
Roberta frowns in confusion “what’s wrong then? Why isn’t everyone back? did the snap not work” she questions.
“We haven’t done it yet… we’re doing it in the morning instead” Steve explains still looking down at the floor.
“but I-“ Roberta stutters in confusion.
“We put it off because we lost Nat” Steve finally admits, glancing over at Roberta with tears in his eyes.
“oh, Steve” Roberta mutters shuffling closer to him on the couch, reaching out to take his hand.
“she uh- she sacrificed herself for the stone and it can’t be undone, we can’t get her back” Steve mutters through the tears.
Roberta sighs shaking her head sadly as she rubs his back “and the worst thing is that it was my plan to send her there, if I’d had known I wouldn’t have sent her, I would have sent someone else but then we’d just lose someone different and it’s selfish to think that” Steve mutters wiping away his tears.
“Steve it's normal to think that way, it’s a part of grief as I’m sure your therapist told you, and I know you wish it was different but you can’t change it, you made the right call at the moment and right now you have to honour her sacrifice and finish the job,” Roberta tells him, squeezing his hand.
“I know… I just wish she was still here, for JJ at least” Steve sighs shaking his head.
“what are you going to tell him?” Roberta asks glancing in the direction of the back door.
“I don’t know, I’ve been trying to work it out all afternoon but I can’t, part of me thinks I should wait until we get everyone back,” Steve says running his hand down his face.
“I don’t think that’s the right time to do it” Roberta sighs shaking her head “he’s a smart kid, he knows something is happening, and he’ll be able to tell something’s wrong, as hard as it is you need to tell him now so that when you bring Y/N home it’ll just be a day of good news, Nat wouldn’t want to damper that moment”
Steve sighs nodding his head “yeah you’re right, thank you Roberta” he says squeezing her hand.
“It's nothing, I’d do anything for you two boys, now go on, go get your boy and hold him tight okay?” Roberta smiles reassuringly.
Steve gives her a small smile, wiping away the last of his tears, taking a deep breath and standing up from the couch. Roberta gave him a small thumbs up, answering his wordless question of if he looked okay. As he opened the back door he smiled gently when he saw JJ playing fetch with Scout in the backyard, the air filled with giggles and laughter whenever Scout bounded back over to JJ with the ball.
Steve watched for a few minutes wanting JJ to have just a bit more fun before he broke the news about Nat. JJ turned around laughing as Scout tried to grab the ball from his hand, his face lighting up when he saw Steve.
“Daddy” he smiled dashing over to Steve.
Steve smiled back, bending down and swooping JJ up into his arms, hugging his tightly “hey bean, did you have a good day at school?” Steve asks shifting JJ slightly so he was on his hip.
“yeah we did painting today and I painted Scout and you,” JJ told him, a bright smile on his face.
“oh wow I can’t wait to see it! have you done all your homework?” Steve asks as walks back inside the house still carrying JJ.
“yep, Roberta helped me” JJ nodded.
“I tried my best, Maths isn’t my strong suit, Mary used to tutor me instead” Roberta chuckles pinching JJ playfully.
“did you say thank you to Roberta for all the help?” Steve asks JJ, brow raised.
“thank you Roberta” JJ chimes out, a smile on his face.
“you’re welcome baby, now be good for your dad, don’t cause any havoc,” Roberta says smirking at the end.
“I pwomise,” JJ says putting his little hand over his heart.
“good boy, now say bye-bye and you’ll see Roberta after school tomorrow,” Steve tells him.
“We get to play again?” JJ asks excitedly.
“yup, another day of club Roberta” Roberta smiles holding up her hand for a high five.
“Yess!” JJ smiles giving her a high five.
“Now off you boys go, see you tomorrow JJ” Roberta smiles opening the front door for them, passing Steve JJ’s bag.
“bye bye Roberta” JJ says waving goodbye.
“see you tomorrow” Steve smiles stepping out the door, Scout following close behind.
Once back inside his house, he puts JJ down quickly ruffling up his hair “why don’t you go upstairs to play for a bit while I get dinner started, remember to put away anything you get out” Steve suggests.
“okay” JJ smiles moving to run off up the stairs before steve stopped him.
“don’t run” Steve called out.
“Sorry!” JJ called back, slowing his pace back to an excited walk.
Steve let out a small chuckle walking into the kitchen to unpack JJ’s bag and lunchbox, and make a start on dinner. Opening the fridge he spotted the leftover lasagne Roberta had helped him make ready for when you were back. He knew that the first evening was going to be hectic and takeout wasn’t going to be an option so he planned ahead.
He let out a small sigh, disappointed that the plan had been pushed back slightly but he knew it was the right decision. Everyone would need to be level-headed when they brought everyone back, having a night to process what happened today was needed.
So instead of cooking the lasagne he opened up the freezer and grabbed the bag of dino nuggets for JJ and a cook from frozen breaded chicken breast for himself. Once he put everything in the oven to cook he set about getting Scout his dinner, since the pup had been at his heels from the moment they got home desperate for food.
A few minutes before dinner was ready Steve called up the stairs to warn JJ, and tell him to start putting his toys away. Right on cue, JJ came down the stairs just as Steve was serving up.
“yay dino nuggets!” JJ exclaimed when he saw what was on his plate.
“yep but don’t forget to eat your veg too, you need it to grow big and strong,” Steve says as he sat down next to him at the dining table.
“Like you?” JJ asks as he takes a bite of his nugget.
“yep just like me” Steve smiles winking as he ate a carrot.
As they ate JJ told Steve more about his day, what him and his friends had gotten up to at playtime and all the fun facts he’d learnt that day. Once they were done JJ was about to go back upstairs to play but Steve stopped him, knowing there was no more delaying the inevitable.
“JJ wait, we need to talk about something,” Steve says holding out his hand.
JJ frowns slightly in confusion but takes Steve’s hand and lets him lead him into the living room. Sitting down on the couch Steve pulled JJ onto his lap, wrapping his arms around him in preparation.
“JJ I have some bad news to tell you and I want you to remember it’s okay to be sad about it” Steve starts sighing gently as he looked down at JJ.
JJ nods worry clear on his face as he looked up at Steve.
“you know I used to be part of the Avengers? But that I don’t fight or go on missions anymore” Steve starts, JJ nodding his head slightly “well other Avengers like Auntie Nat still do missions, and Auntie Nat was on a mission today and-“ Steve says before getting chocked up “and she didn’t make it back”
JJ blinks a couple of times as he processes the information “is she lost somewhere?” he asks looking back up at Steve.
Steve shakes his head, biting his lower lip to stop it from wobbling “no, she’s just not with us anymore, she’s up in the stars with Mommy” Steve explains his voice thick with emotion.
“oh” JJ mutters looking down, fiddling with his fingers in his lap.
Steve waited a few moments just watching JJ, waiting for when the news sunk in completely “you okay JJ?” Steve asked as the silence drew on.
JJ then sniffled shaking his head refusing to look up. Steve sighed sadly, wrapping his arms around JJ tightly, and pulling him into his chest. Steve rubbed his back as JJ cried into his chest, blinking back his own tears as he tried to remain strong for JJ.
“I don’t want her to be gone” JJ whimpered clutching onto Steve’s top tightly.
“I know bean, I know, I want her back too,” Steve said quietly, kissing the top of his head.
“It’s not fair” JJ cried, his small fist thumping Steve’s chest in frustration.
“you’re right, it’s not fair,” Steve says grabbing JJ’s fist to stop him “if I could change things and bring her back I would, but I can’t so we just have to try and be happy for her,” Steve says cupping JJ’s chin to get him to look up at him “she’d want you to be happy,” he says wiping away JJ’s tears.
“but I’m sad” JJ pouts sniffling back his tears.
“and that’s okay” Steve reassures him “it’s okay to be sad, I’m sad too, but we can’t be sad for forever, Auntie Nat would want you to smile and laugh and play with Scout and be her happy little man”
JJ nods slightly before snuggling into Steve’s chest for comfort “I’ll call your teacher tomorrow and tell her you’re staying home, you can spend all day with Roberta having fun, watching movies, anything that makes you happy” Steve tells him.
“with you?” JJ asks looking back up at Steve.
“for some of the day, I need to go sort things out with the other Avengers tomorrow but I’ll be back as soon as I can I promise” Steve reassures him “and tonight we can stay up past bedtime together and watch a movie in bed”
“Cars movie?” JJ asks hopefully.
“yes we can watch Cars 1, 2 and 3” Steve nods gratefully for the small smile that appeared on JJ’s face “so let's head upstairs have a bath, get into our jammies and start watching cars”
JJ nods hopping off the couch and moving towards the stairs, Steve followed closely behind picking JJ up and throwing him over his shoulder smiling gently at the involuntary squeal and giggle that fell from JJ’s lips.
Once they were both in their jammies, they climbed into Steve’s bed, Steve making an exception and letting Scout jump up onto the bed with them. They had only gotten halfway through the first Cars movie when JJ dozed off curled up into Steve’s side. Steve smiled softly as he looked down at his little boy, the worry lines he’d seen before completely gone as JJ relaxed in his sleep. Carefully reaching out he turned down the volume of the TV so it wouldn’t wake JJ, he considered carrying him back to his room but couldn’t bring himself to disturb him. He also wanted to be as close as possible in case JJ woke up in the night and needed him.
So he turned out the lights and made himself comfortable “I’ll make all of this pain worth it JJ, I promise” Steve whispered.
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I believe I am not speaking only for myself when I say this, but it gets annoying when people from Twitter take screenshots of the OnS posts here and bring the conversations to Twitter where they know they will get more visibility and shared opinions since most of the fandom is over there.
We are like, the same 20 people over here. We don’t bite. We may have different opinions but we are not irrational and unable to hold a civilised conversation. If you see a post you don’t like, you could try to chat with the one who posted it before jumping to conclusions and add fuel to the fire with your Twitter mutuals. You could at the very least be upfront about it instead of doing it behind our backs. Otherwise, we won’t know unless we happen to run into it on Twitter, which btw happens to me a lot because I follow people who in turn follow the kind of people who make these posts, so I get it recommended on my timeline.
Yes, I could just hit the ‘block’ button, but it doesn’t sit well with me to know we are just 20 people and the people over Twitter may be talking about the posts me or my friends made without knowing about it. What kind of defence we could have, being 20 people? On the other hand, there are lots of people who share the same opinions as you on Twitter. It won’t hurt you to hit the ‘block’ button here because at the end of the day, what we really say here won’t have a big effect on you. But what you and your numbers say about us will affect us. Especially if you already did this more than once, doesn’t it mean you are going into Tumblr and actively looking for posts which to rant about in your platform because you know you will find those kind of posts here?
I don’t want to be told by anyone to stop reading the manga I’ve invested 8 years of my life, basically my entire adolescence, just because I lost interest on Mika, Yuu and MikaYuu. Note that it’s “I lost interest on”, not “I am not interested on”. I am not a hater, what I say comes from a place of disappointment, and the disappointment comes from a place of love that used to be here. I loved Mika and Yuu. I even wrote fanfics of them in Wattpad back during my middle school years like the crazy teen super obsessed with these two boys I was, and I haven’t even taken them down because of the nostalgia despite my embarassing writing skills. I am actually jealous of others who despite the direction the story took, they still ship mikayuu hard as the first day, because they are able to enjoy what they get far more than me. But does it mean I am not enjoying the story at all? Of course that’s not the case. I love it a lot. It’s actually the only series where I actively involved myself this much. I may not have the same interest for the mcs’ love story and their antics, but I want to see the rest of the elements of the story and how it ends. “stop reading it” stop using that sentence when you barely know the person you are telling that to, whether it is someone who has been with OnS for 8 years or 1 year. It’s just harmful.
If you check old posts of the people here, you will see more than what meets the eye. If a post here had a sarcastic tone or something, it is probably not serious and you might actually have a nice, sensible chat with the OP. If you don’t get why we don’t like mikayuu, just ask. If you don’t get how we can still read this manga despite not liking mikayuu, just ignore us. I don’t want to start a fight. Just ignore us, please. I don’t want me or anyone in this small Tumblr OnS fandom be criticised every single time one of us displays discontent about an aspect of the story.
And just in case, I am not talking about the mikayuu fandom in general. Just some people.
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Dʀᴇss Uᴘ | Hᴀʟʟᴏᴡᴇᴇɴ 2022 Eᴠᴇɴᴛ Dᴀʏ 4
➜ Pairing: Anakin Skywalker x reader
➜ Warnings: Gn!reader, Anakins ego, slight making out, not properly proofread.
➜ Word Count: 0.9k
➜ Notes: based on this headcanon. This took an unexpected turn....
Happy Halloween!
Sᴛᴀʀᴡᴀʀs Mᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ | Eᴠᴇɴᴛ Mᴀsᴛᴇʀʟɪsᴛ
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“Anakin hurry up! We need to get going,” you called to him from the other room, he frowned adjusting his Jedi robes one more time in the mirror before coming out to the living room where you were waiting for him.  
It had been almost two months since he had arrived on the planet and coincidentally at your doorstep, the two of you had grown quite close in that time. He had gotten used to the feel of clothes that weren't his robes since his arrival to Earth, so putting on his robes felt a bit odd. The two of you had been working tirelessly to get in contact with the republic and keep his stay on Earth under wraps as to not alert the separatists and bring the war here. In all truth you weren't a fan of the idea of him leaving, but you understood that he had a life there and responsibilities to get back to.  
“How do you think I look?” he asked with a grin as he entered the living room and you turned to look at him, laughing as you saw who he was dressed as. 
“Are you seriously going to be yourself for Halloween?” you asked amusedly. 
His tone turned sarcastic and playful as he replied, “What you don’t think I look good as myself?” You shook your head at him with a smile, you weren't surprised 
“Whatever, let’s just get going.” With that you stood, walking out the door with Anakin following behind you and locking it before the both of you were on your way.  
The two of you were attending a Halloween party that night hosted by a friend you had known for years. She was one of the only people you had introduced Anakin to so far, not as himself though because that would have sounded absolutely ridiculous to anyone. Instead, you had been introducing him as an old family friend that had moved away in fifth grade and recently come back, reaching out to you in search for a place to stay until he could rent his own apartment.  
“Y/n, Anakin!” she greeted as the door swung open, the previously muffled but blaring music now even louder. She paused as her eyes landed on the man beside you. A grin spreading across her face as she recognized his costume, “You really took it to heart when I told you that you looked like Anakin Skywalker huh?” 
He nodded a mischievous smile curling at his lips, “I just love his character and the series as well though.” You resisted the urge to role your eyes at him. Was he serious? 
“Well in my opinion he’s a bit overrated,” you butted into the conversation as you stepped inside, walking further into the house as your friend led you both to the kitchen through the swarms of people.  
Your friend laughed from in front of you, “since when were you such a critic of Anakin? Last I checked you were head over heels in love with the man!" Anakin looked at you with a smirk at her words and your cheeks flared a deep shared of red, heat licking up your neck and face and kissing the tips of your ears.  
“Really?” he asked her, and she nodded enthusiastically, ignoring the warning glare you gave her, 
“Oh yes, she's a reck for him. I think she would even turn down an actual man for even the slight chance that she could be with him.” your friend's words had you covering your face with your hands, mumbling out an ‘excuse me’ before hurriedly rushing out the room and to the bathroom, in embarrassment. You understood that it wasn’t her fault, she didn’t know that the man she was talking to was actually Anakin Skywalker, not just simply dressing up as him, but even so did she really have to spill your secret to him like that? Nowhere in your plan to get him back to his end of the universe had included telling him about your crush on him.  
Anakin excused himself shortly after, going in the direction that he had seen you run away in and unable to shake the smirk on his face. He knocked on the bathroom door, hearing a muffled grown from the other side of the door before it opened to reveal you.  
“If you're here to rub it in, just leave and tell her I’ll be out in a minute.” Anakin’s smirk widened 
“I’m not here to make fun of you I swear,” he held up his hands in faux surrender and you look at him hesitantly, waiting for him to go on, “Just...why wouldn’t you tell me sooner?”  
You opened and closed your mouth taking a moment before speaking, “It was inappropriate for the situation,” you finally decided to say 
He raised an eyebrow, leaning towards you and wrapping a hand around your hip to pull you in. His other hand went up to hold the top of the door frame, supporting his weight, “Is that really why?” You swallowed heavily, hearing your heartbeat pounding in your ears but nodded 
“Well excuse my inappropriate behavior then,” he whispered, leaning down and crashing his lips against yours. You eagerly kissed him back, warmth flooding your body he pressed you against him, lips working heatedly against his. Finally, you pulled back with a pant, your face flushed. You glanced up at him, but quickly averted your gaze back to the floor when you saw that he was already looking at you.  
“You look good in your robes,” you mumbled before pushing past him to get back to the party. You’d talk about it later, but right now you just needed to digest that Anakin Skywalker was on Earth, in your life, and real all over again.  
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