#instead of going right to A. some stuff I can chalk up to overstimulation/overwhelm in the moment but he wouldn’t see that. only my reaction

[buckys-robot-arm]

Everything is ruined and now I’m fired for sure because I sent in the form a day late

#may get kicked off the club board because I don’t get social cues and then ruin someone’s day because of it #half of the issues the pres brought up could’ve easily been solved if the board members I upset told me ‘hey please don’t say that to me’ #instead of going right to A. some stuff I can chalk up to overstimulation/overwhelm in the moment but he wouldn’t see that. only my reaction #and I try so fucking hard to internalize it and not let my stress come out. he doesn’t even see how long little things have been building up #and I don’t expect anyone to as I can’t even see it #but there’s so many times ig I say the wrong thing and idek(hello? autism?)that I did. bc nobody communicates!! #and now bc I submitted the form a day after exactly 2 weeks. we’d have to move the meeting a day later. and our meetings aren’t on Tuesdays #and now L is just always looking at me with disdain and I cant just ask her wtf I did wrong bc I said there was no need to mention any of it #and she’s also dating A so I know he tells her EVERYTHING about what I did. I’m positive she knows about the impeachment #she wouldn’t look at me like that otherwise. it’s like there’s no light in her eyes when she isn’t laughing/smiling and looking at me #I just want people to tell me that they do in fact hate me bc that’s a lot simpler to deal with than radio silence and ambiguous looks #just tell me that I’m an idiot who doesn’t have their shit together and won’t make it in the world being disorganized #and unable to bring myself to talk about other people’s conversations #I needed to rant here bc half the people on my priv story are all fucking 6 degrees of separation from A. and he’d know. somehow #at least nobody irl knows what my url is. some people know I’m on here. but they certainly don’t have a clue what I go by at least