#and this particular anxiety has been worse since the last time i was at his apartment bc i had a panic attack on his floor over smth

[saturnsuv]

so at what point does the relationship anxiety go away

#it’s going on 3 weeks now which i know isnt that long but its the longest i’ve ever consistently seen a guy #but i still simply do not believe that he actually likes me or that this is real #i keep getting fully convinced that he’s tired of me or he doesnt want to talk to me anymore or he’s just changed his mind #and this particular anxiety has been worse since the last time i was at his apartment bc i had a panic attack on his floor over smth #he was very sweet and helpful about it and he literally didnt show any signs that this turned him off from anything but i’ve still #convinced myself he doesn’t want me anymore bc i was too much #i keep getting worried that i’m being too much like i’m being too clingy or taking up too much of his time #and i know it’s unfair to him bc he hasn’t done a single thing to make it seem like he doesn’t like me or he doesn’t want to do this #it’s all been overwhelmingly positive signals. but historically positive signals mean nothing guys will still turn around and ghost no #matter how much they say they’re into me or they enjoyed themselves or even if we literally had plans #maybe its just that im on my period idk #we’re supposed to go on another date tonight but i’m like convinced he’s going to cancel

[bucksangel]

don't worry, darling

pairing: avenger!bucky x civilian!reader

word count: 3.3k

summary: even though bucky is mostly healed, that doesn’t mean his nightmares go away. and a particular grueling mission brings back memories he’d rather forget. 

warnings: angsttttt, hella fluff at the end though, hurt/comfort, talk of bucky’s trauma and abuse, brief mentions of murder of a hydra agent (he deserves it), nightmares, reader is here to love and comfort bucky, also civil war and everything after didn’t happen and they all live at the tower and everything is fine bc i said so

a/n: even though this does not contain smut, my blog is 18+ so minors dni. also i wanted to write something short and sweet to get my creative juices flowing and yet, as always, i managed to go overboard

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It started with a whimper, a small one. Barely detectable if you weren’t already awake and snuggled against Bucky’s body. He’s lying on his side facing you with you mirroring his position, arms wrapped around each other and your head tucked into his chest. You’ve been having a hard time sleeping for the last week and a half due to Bucky being gone on a mission that didn’t allow him to contact you at all. Your restless nights were mostly due to worrying over your boyfriend’s safety, something you always do whenever he leaves. It was worse this time around, though.

It was a day before he was supposed to leave, and you knew you weren’t supposed to listen in on other people’s private conversations, but you just couldn’t help yourself. You’d come home early from work one day to find Steve and Bucky in your shared home office, stopping outside the door and getting ready to knock when you overheard something about an upcoming mission. It seemed pretty important so you decided not to interrupt them, though you couldn’t force yourself to walk away.

You’re never allowed to know anything about what Bucky’s missions entail, and some part of you wanted to listen in on their conversation to hopefully ease any worries about what might be happening to him since you’ll have a general idea of where they’re going and what they’re doing. 

According to Steve, although it was going to be a four-day mission, it was supposed to be relatively simple. Or, it would’ve been simple if it weren’t for the fact that the building they were being sent to scout was an old Hydra facility somewhere in Russia. The same Hydra facility where Bucky was held captive.

Upon hearing this piece of information you wanted to barge into the room and tell Steve off for letting Bucky be a part of this mission. It’s been nearly five years since he escaped and Bucky has mostly readjusted, has recovered from his trauma as much as one can after being tortured for decades. And you’ll be damned if anything jeopardizes that progress.

But you’d also overheard Bucky agreeing with the plans, helping Steve strategize, and going over all the information that needed to be obtained. And it wasn’t your place to tell Bucky what he could and couldn’t do. As much as you wanted to demand that he not go, he was his own person. And if he thought he could handle this mission then you’d have to find a way to support him.

The four-day mission turned into eight and by the sixth day with still no contact, you’d marched into the tower and demanded Fury call you with any and all updates he received. He said he would in a tone that made you believe he wouldn’t give you every detail, but it did help reassure you that if anything happened to Bucky then you wouldn’t be kept totally in the dark. It was nerve-wracking in the worst way, obsessively thinking over what Bucky could be going through - physically and mentally.

But on the eighth day, Fury had called you on your lunch break at work to tell you that Bucky was on his way back to the Tower and would probably be back at your apartment by early evening after the briefing and check-up in the medical wing.

All of your nerves and anxieties that built up over the last week were immediately replaced with relief flooding your body, your heart finally unclenching at knowing that Bucky would be back in a few short hours. One good thing about your job is that you don’t technically need to be in the office every day. As long as you get your work done you’re pretty much given free rein to leave whenever you want, and you’d finished your stack of paperwork maybe fifteen minutes before the phone call.

You gathered up your things quickly and stopped by your boss's office to wish her a good weekend, then made your way to your car to head home. Your heartbeat was increasing ever so slightly the closer you got to your apartment, and you had to remind yourself to focus on driving instead of daydreaming of being back in Bucky’s arms.

When you did finally get home, you made quick work of cleaning the entire apartment; changing your bed sheets, doing laundry, then pulling out food from the fridge to make dinner. You’d actually just gotten the chicken out of the oven when the front door opened, and your excitement at finally seeing your boyfriend again forced you to run out of the kitchen and down the hall. But you stopped a good six feet from the door, standing still at seeing Bucky’s bruised face and scabbed knuckles.

“Bucky?” You asked softly, finally noticing the spacey look in his eyes, the way they seemed to be glazed over.

Bucky smiled at you, though it was more of a grimace, and you could tell it was mostly forced but he still wanted to acknowledge you. He approached you slowly, and you stood still so you would not startle him - he just seemed so on edge. He stopped not even a foot away from you, had stared down at you with a look in his eyes you hoped you would never see again - it was such an empty gaze, almost emotionless. There was no life in his eyes. It didn’t feel like the dead gaze was directed at you specifically, it was more like Bucky just couldn’t muster up any emotion at all.

That’s when you knew. Something went wrong.

Slowly, he brought up his right hand and placed it on the back of your head, tilting it up so he could really look at you, letting his gaze linger on your lips. Instead of kissing them, he leans forward to press a kiss on your forehead, wrapping his left arm around your waist and pulling you into his chest. He didn’t speak as he slowly tucked you into his body, and you didn’t dare break the silence either, you simply wrapped your arms around his body as well, squeezing him tightly to let him know that you were there. You were there for him - physically, mentally, and emotionally, and you needed him to know that.

After maybe five minutes of no one speaking, of simply standing in the front hallway embracing each other, you decided to finally say something.

“I made dinner,” You whispered, running one of your hands up and down Bucky’s back. You pulled your head off of his chest but didn’t loosen your hold. “Chicken and mashed potatoes. I even made apple pie.”

Bucky’s mouth twitched again, and his attempted smile felt a little more genuine this time. His glassy eyes were filled with tears now, and he seemed oh so close to crying. You’d never seen him like this before, he was always happy, and smiling, even on days when he wouldn’t say it but you knew he still resented himself for his time as the soldier he would indulge in his hobbies to help him cope. But you’ve never seen him shut down before, and this is what this felt like.

You weren’t too sure how to help him, how to comfort him. But you had an inkling he might need some time to himself.

“How about you go shower and I can put the food away for later,” You said with a soft smile, speaking up again before Bucky had the chance to feel guilty, “I ate a couple of hours ago, I’m fine baby. Go shower.”

You lifted up on your toes and placed a soft kiss on his cheek, letting him squeeze you to his chest one more time before he released you, slumping off down the hall to the bathroom.

That was two days ago, and Bucky hasn’t spoken more than a few words at a time since. Now, it’s not like he’s avoiding you, he’s actually a little more clingy than he normally is. You can tell he wants to say something, to tell you what had happened, he just doesn’t know how. He hasn’t told you everything about what happened to him during his time as the soldier, but you know enough and don’t push him to say anything he doesn’t want to.

At night, Bucky will go out onto the small terrace outside of your apartment and stare up at the stars for hours. You don’t sit with him for all of it, just for about one hour - cuddled close to his body and talking softly and mindlessly about anything you can think of, anything that might help Bucky open up. Then, around nine or ten, you’ll give him a lingering kiss on his cheek, one on his temple, and one final kiss on his lips before going to bed, letting Bucky be alone with himself and his thoughts.

Tonight, though, Bucky’s decided to climb into bed with you soon after dinner. You both showered together, washing each other’s bodies and sharing a few lingering kisses under the spray of the shower head. You didn’t go any further, but you did make sure to spend extra time massaging his shoulders and back, placing kisses everywhere you could reach.

It’s one in the morning now, and you hear another whimper. Bucky shifts beside you, tightening his hold on you ever so slightly. Another whine. 

“Bucky?” You whisper, careful to not disturb the silence too much.

He responds with a mumbled ‘please’. Then, ‘no’.

“Buck? Baby?” You say a little louder, shifting in his hold but not able to move much due to his arms being wound around your body.

He shudders, pulling you further into him as his breathing picks up. He’s having a nightmare. Now, despite him being mostly healed, he still does have nightmares. They’ve lessened over the years, but they never truly go away.

When he’s in this mindset, you’re careful not to move too much and startle him awake. So, you simply shimmy your arm from under one of his so you can push on his chest and gently ease him onto his back. It takes a little more force than you’d like, but you’re eventually able to lay him flat on his back and untangle your body from his.

“Baby?” You whisper a little louder, placing your hand on the side of his face and rubbing your thumb along his cheekbone. “Bucky.”

He groans; louder, desperate. He’s in pain. You run your hand down his face, down his neck, then land on his chest, right above his heart. It’s increased rapidly, and you can see beads of sweat coat his forehead.

“Bucky.” Your voice is pleading, and you push on his chest a little, now hoping to startle him awake before it gets worse. You don’t want to keep him in this nightmare, so you shake him again.

“Bu-” You’re stopped short by him gasping, his eyes shooting open and his body lifting off the bed slightly as he wakes up. Relief fills your body, and you sigh gratefully. You hate when he’s in pain, whether physical or mental, but you hate not being able to do anything about it even more.

Bucky doesn’t move right away, he squeezes his eyes closed and clenches his fists momentarily. Then, when you place your hand on his cheek, his whole body goes limp, relaxing into the sheets under your touch.

“Baby,” He whispers hoarsely. “I…” He chokes back a sob, and you’re quick to adjust yourselves so you’re laying on your back and he’s laying almost entirely on top of you with his head on your chest right above your heart. He starts crying then, really crying. His arms wrap themselves around your midsection, and you wrap yours around his body as well, cradling him close to you.

“It’s okay, darling. It’s okay, you’re okay,” You mumble into his ear, pressing kisses anywhere you can reach. You continue cooing at him, whispering reassurances and declarations of love until his cries taper off into small whimpers and sniffles. You’re really worried now. Yeah, Bucky isn’t shy about expressing his emotions, and you’ve held him after nightmares and through the aftermath of difficult missions when he comes home disheartened. But he’s never been so vulnerable, and you want nothing more than to hold him close and protect him from everything bad in the world.

Silence envelops the both of you for a while. You want to allow Bucky to speak when he’s ready. And he does so after a couple of minutes.

“There was an agent; Alix, I think. I - I don’t remember his last name, but…” Bucky pauses, and you take the opportunity to place a kiss on his forehead. “For the last five or so years of me being… him, Alix was there. He’d… Any time I failed a mission, he’d be there. Out of all the Hydra agents that I’ve ever come in contact with… his punishments were the worst.”  He pauses again, sniffling softly and nuzzling his face into your chest.

“I’m so sorry, darling,” You whisper, bringing your hand up to his hair so you can run your fingers through his locks. Bucky shakes his head softly, pressing a kiss to your collarbone.

“He was there. When Steve, Natasha, and I went to the facility last week, Alix was there. And he… I don’t know. I saw him and I just went blank, my mind shut off. I know I promised I wouldn’t kill anymore, I know. I just… He just hurt me so fucking much.”

Bucky starts crying again, and you have to force yourself not to cry as well. You want to be here to support him, not break down as well because then he’ll feel guilty. He always says you’re one of the most important people in his life - Steve obviously being another one - and that seeing you cry makes him want to go feral on whoever or whatever made you sad.

“I had to,” he says, muffled by his face tucking into your neck. “I just. I couldn’t not. I thought I was ready, I thought I could go there and be okay. But I wasn’t. I… He broke me.” Bucky trails off, sighing heavily before he goes quiet again, giving you time to process this information.

“Baby,” You say, prompting Bucky to hum in acknowledgment. “Can you look at me, please?”

You know it takes a lot of effort, but he does. Bucky lifts his head from your neck, looking into your eyes with overwhelming sorrow. Bending your head, you place a quick kiss on his lips.

“This might sound odd, but I’m proud of you. You thought you were healed enough to do it, you went through the planning and probably had to hype yourself up a lot to even agree to the mission. And that’s immense progress. The fact that you even felt ready, even if you ultimately weren’t, you pushed through it and finished the mission. And that’s something to be celebrated. Sometimes recovery can be set back by certain events, but that doesn’t mean that everything else you’ve accomplished is set back as well. You tried, and I’m proud of you.”

With that said, you give Bucky another kiss, lingering a little longer this time before pulling back and holding his gaze.

“And I know you promised to not kill anyone, but I don’t blame you in this situation. I don’t know what this says about me, but even though I don’t know exactly how you killed him, and I don’t think I want to honestly, I do know he deserved far worse than what you gave him. He’s just lucky I wasn’t there because I genuinely don’t know what I would have done if I saw him.”

Bucky’s mouth forms into the smallest of smiles, and you can’t help but want to burn the world to the ground if it means he was protected from the harm it brought him.

“I know you’re the man, and that, stereotypically, men are supposed to be the protector, the provider, but you also deserve to be protected, to have everything you could ever want. And I want to give that to you. I know you are your own person and you do a damn well job of taking care of yourself, but I also want to take care of you. I want to protect you from everything bad, everything that’s ever harmed you, and everything that could potentially harm you in the future.”

You place a kiss on his forehead, squeezing the arm that’s around his upper back to hug him tighter to you.

“You’re the love of my life, baby. Now and forever.”

Bucky shudders slightly, leaning up to kiss your jaw, then one to your cheek, one on the corner of your mouth, and one final kiss to your lips. Your hand continues to run through his hair, tugging at it slightly, causing your boyfriend to sigh in contentment and tighten his hold on you as well. You’re locked in the embrace for a long moment, his lips gliding over yours as the kiss remains relatively chaste. But then, he pulls away.

“Darling,” He says, and for the first time in two days, he finally looks like he’s getting back to his old self. “I - I don’t think I’m ready to talk about everything that happened during the mission right now, I kind of just want to hear you talk so I can get my mind off of it for a little if that’s okay?” He looks a bit nervous asking for that, but you’re quick to nod, offering him a smile of your own. Bucky smiles a tad bit wider and removes one of his arms from around your body so he can slowly reach up and take hold of your hand that’s still running through his hair. Stubble tickles your palm as Bucky presses his lips there, then turns his gaze up to look into your eyes.

“I can’t even describe how much I love you. It scares me, sometimes, the things I would do for you. I need you to know that I will do everything I can to make you as happy and safe as you make me. You’re just… you’re incredible. And I can’t thank you enough for how much you’ve helped me over the past two years that we’ve been together, even the entire year before we started dating when we were just friends.”

His eyes start watering for a whole other reason now. Bucky looks so damn in love that you’d think it hurt, and you would know because that’s exactly how you feel about him.

“I - I know we haven’t talked about it, and I don’t even have a ring, but I can’t ever imagine loving anyone as much as I love you. I’m devoted to you, now and forever. I don’t know how you feel, but if you’re ever willing to…” He pauses, and you feel your heartbeat increase rapidly, a sudden happiness flooding your body.

“If I were to one day ask you to marry me, would you say yes?”

You’ve never nodded faster in your life, nor have you ever said ‘yes’ so quickly to anything Bucky has asked.

The large sigh of relief your boyfriend lets out lets you know he’s probably been thinking about this for a while, and you would swear your heart is about to burst from how much you love this man as you hold him close to your chest and place absentminded kisses on his forehead, cheeks, lips, the top of his head.

Everything stays silent for a few minutes, letting the conversation taper off. That is, until Bucky puts his head back on your shoulder, lacing his fingers with yours and bringing your hands up to kiss your knuckles.

“Can you talk to me?”

Humming in agreement, you run your hand that’s still on his back up and down in a soothing motion.

“Do you want to hear about how Sam almost broke his arm last week?”

#let me know what y'all think!! #bucky barnes #bucky barnes imagine #bucky fic rec #bucky barns #james barnes #bucky barnes fluff #bucky barnes angst #bucky barnes fanfic #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barns imagine #bucky barns x reader #my writing #my stuff

[ohdeerfully]

Thank you so much for adding Sir Pentious to your blog 🥹🎩🐍 I’m new to fic requests, and either a drabble or HCs would be amazing no matter which you pick, so here goes…

Could I please request platonic Pentious with a hotel resident reader who’s new to hell and visibly going through a rough time? Between being dead, dealing with their new demon body, and facing another extermination after just surviving the last one, they’re clearly struggling despite putting on a brave face. And secret softie that he is, Pentious decides he ought to intervene, whether it’s drag them along on activities take their mind off of things, or just stick with them until they open up enough to vent to him?

Thank you very much again!

Signed 🪼 Anon

Hii 🪼! Thanks so much for requesting my very first Sir Pentious oneshot >:3 I hope i wrote him okay! I don't know his character super well, but he's super fun!!!

Do His Egg Bois Know He Eats Egg Sandwiches

Sir Pentious x Reader (platonic)(fluff) TW: reader is depressed ):

join my discord!

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You had been at the hotel for a year or so now, having been found by Charlie during your first night in Hell. Ever since then, even in the comfort of the hotel and surrounded by the kindness–and chaos–of Charlie and her friends, you still couldn’t really believe or cope with where you were. Thinking about it, and the fact this was eternity–it made you feel like shit. And that goddamn tail of yours that kept getting in the way of everything, and the pair of hypersensitive ears that forced you to listen to the “screams of the damned” all night. You wondered if you’d ever get used to the new limbs. 

You currently laid flat on your bed and staring at the ceiling, not really thinking about much in particular. Honestly, the boredom you currently felt was comforting; better than the depressive episodes you’ve been dealing with, at least. It has gotten worse lately because of the impending extermination, but you took care not to think about it too much, less you choke and breakdown in anxiety.

A neat rapping of knocks roused you from your mindless comfort, and you slunk your way to the door. Before opening it, you made sure that your appearance was as neat as possible. You heaved a breath, smiled, and opened the door.

Sir Pentious stood on the other side, his sharp fangs peeking under his lips in a bold smile. “Charlie hass asked me to…” You smiled slightly at that appropriately snake-like lisp of his. “...take you out in town! For some… fun,” His bold smile slowly quivered, becoming more and more uncertain and anxious as his invitation became quiet, nearly dying on his lips. His hands were nervously folded behind himself.

You quirked your brow at him, leaning softly on the doorframe. “Why would Charlie ask you to take me out?” You replied, not intentionally aggressive, “Wouldn’t she usually just… do it herself? Or at least tell me first?” You noticed the way Sir Pentious nervously flicked his tongue a few times as he considered your words.

“Well… I… er,” He struggled for a moment, until suddenly his eyes lit up with an idea. “Well, Charlie wass, and I wass going to take EVERYBODY out! But, eh, they’re all busy.” His head tucked slightly, sheepishly, and you watched as the hood on his neck seemed to squeeze closer to himself. He was so obvious.

You ran your hand through your hair, thinking for a moment. Sir Pentious stared at you expectantly, with a mix of anxiety and excitement in his narrow eyes.

You could either stay inside, locked in your room, waiting for nothing, melting in your own depressive thoughts and worries; or, you could just go out and try to have some fun with the snake standing in front of you. You haven’t been out in town much, despite being in Hell for a year–you were always too worried. You didn’t have the energy to go out in the first place, so the anxiety you felt made it all the more difficult to drag yourself out of bed to explore.

Ah, what the hell.

“Sure,” You accepted, albeit a bit apprehensively. His spine immediately straightened out as you accepted his offer, his eyes practically glowing with pride at himself. He gave you a curt nod, a grin, and turned to slither away.

“Meet me in the lobby in twenty minutess!” He called, before disappearing around a corner.

And, so, you did. You had quickly washed yourself, and scrounged around your dirty laundry to find a decently clean outfit, making note that you should get to work on washing everything when you got back. Hopefully this outing would give you a bit of energy to do some chores.

He was waiting by the bar, his fingers rapping against the countertop. He was obviously trying to be patient; you knew he had a temper. You appreciate him trying, though.

“So,” You began as you came near him. He whipped his head around when he heard your voice. “What’s your idea of… fun?”

“Follow me!” He declared boldly, ushering the both of you out of the hotel. You saw his airship was ready to go, a small ramp leading to the entrance. You nervously smiled at the sight, wondering what he had in store for you. You briefly wondered how Charlie would react knowing Sir Pentious was, very likely, up to no good.

Those eggs of his were already waiting inside, as you saw one peek around the frame of the door. It jumped at the sight of Sir Pentious ascending the ramp, skittering away before coming back with the others. They all watched from the doorway.

Your worries of Charlie were dispelled when Sir Pentious explained that he wanted to go to a strip of stores a few blocks away. You decided not to ask him why he chose to take his airship to just go a few blocks away; he seemed very excited to show off the interior to you, explaining what this button did, and oh, did you notice this lever? Just wait till you see what this knob does! You were genuinely surprised at how complex his build was. Sir Pentious was a lot smarter than everybody gave him credit for.

His eggs were always in your way, and you had to take extreme care not to stumble over or smash one. They were always getting up close to you in order to examine you, or touch your clothes. You were growing irritated at them, honestly, but clenched your jaw to ignore the growing frustration.

It had taken a short time to get to the street, and Sir Pentious ‘parked’ his airship in the air, hanging down a sturdy ladder for the two of you to descend onto the street. You stared down nervously, air whipping at your face.

“Sir Pentious… I don’t think…” You timidly looked down, and then back up to him. He stood there proudly, hands on his hips. He frowned at your apprehension.

“Nonsense!” And he shoved you, his toothy grin quickly disappearing from your vision as you staggered out of the opening below. 

“What the fuck!” You cried, tumbling for a brief moment in the air, your tail whipping wildly to try to straighten yourself out. You were able to grab a rung of the ladder, probably just a few seconds away from smacking into the road. Your heart was beating so hard you were worried it would give out.

“What. The fuck.” You said again, venom practically dripping from your words as you glared at Sir Pentious, who was easily using his two arms to make his way down, tail curled on the ladder for extra stability. If you could kill him with your eyes, you would. 

You continued the last few rungs, arms shaking so hard with adrenaline that you had to make a few attempts to grab the rope with every step.

“Now,” Sir Pentious began, looking around after you were both firmly on the ground. “I believe there iss… some sort of place for foodstuff. There!” And he quickly left you behind after eyeing the shop. You quickly followed when he paused to wave you forward.

It was a pretty standard lunch spot, with the standard Hell foods that you saw for sale in the hotel’s own cafeteria. You ignored the description of the food, knowing that if you thought too hard about what the meat was made out of you would be too sick to eat. Food was another thing in Hell that you just couldn’t get used to.

Sir Pentious ordered some sort of egg sandwich with a soda, and you opted for a salad of sorts with some mystery meat and a colorful array of toppings. You tucked yourself neatly into a chair, poking at the contents of your bowl for a minute before trying it. It really wasn’t that bad.

Sir Pentious was tentatively sipping at his soda, his tiny nostrils flaring at each intake of the carbonated drink. You saw the level of soda go down, up, down again, up again, as he tried desperately to keep the drink in his mouth.

“Do you… not like soda?” You asked behind a laugh. He put on a face of shock at you.

“Of coursse I do! Everybody drinks it! How weird it would be if I couldn’t!” He went back to daintily dragging at the straw. You saw the up and down of the drink continue. You rolled your eyes at his attempt to seem hip. It really wasn’t that serious.

You had ordered some tea, and you pushed the glass towards him.

“Wanna trade?” You asked, and his eyes lit up. “I like soda more than tea.”

“Yess!” He said, a bit too excited for his own taste, obviously, because he immediately lowered his voice. “Of course, only for you. I don’t care either way. But ssince you do,” He swiped at your glass, quickly replacing it with his soda. You honestly weren’t really interested in drinking it, knowing that a lot of it had already been in his mouth and spit back.

After you had both finished, a bit of casual small talk between bites, Sir Pentious paid, to which you thanked him multiple times for, and he simply stuck his nose up and dismissed you, saying it was his responsibility for being the one to offer to take you out.

You actually enjoyed your time with him, which surprised you, because you never thought you’d enjoy the company of the temperamental snake. But, you could tell he tried his best to remain level-headed with you. You wondered if he knew how shitty you’ve been feeling.

When you arrived back at the hotel, you were incredibly thrilled that Sir Pentious was able to park his airship on the ground. No more getting shoved out of tiny holes from the sky. You saw Charlie carefully eyeing the two of you as you came inside, her focus mostly on a conversation with Vaggie. She was likely trying to see if there were any signs of “bad behavior” coming back into her hotel.

Sir Pentious  leads you back to your room, rambling about some invention of his, his words dripping with pride. You were only half listening while you fumbled for the keys to your room.

His words stopped for a moment when you opened the door, and you could tell he was looking at the terrible disarray your room had come to during your periods of doing nothing during depressive episodes. You let out a nervous laugh, closing the door just enough for you to block his line of sight as you leaned against the door.

“Hey, thanks for taking me to get some food,” You smiled at him, and he returned your smile with his own. You could tell there was a softness in his expression, and you kind of hated it, knowing that it was probably coming from a place of pity after seeing the state of your room.

“You know, if you ever need somebody to talk to, I conssider myself a great listener,” He began, and you felt weird hearing the softness and genuineness of his voice. Though you weren’t to sure about the ‘great listener’ part. “Of course I offer my earss to everybody here!” He quickly added, trying to prevent himself from sounding too touchy-feely. You grinned at him and shot him a quick thumbs up.

“Thanks, Pentious,” You backed up into your room, giving him a short wave. “I’ll talk to you later.”

He waved back at you, giving you that fanged grin of his, before you shut the door. You turned on your heel, and stared at the mess you called a room.

Time to do some cleaning, I guess.

#ohdeerfully #🪼 #hazbin hotel #hazbin hotel x reader #sir pentious #sir pentious hazbin hotel #sir pentious x reader #platonic #fluff #tw: depression #depression

[coolnameloading]

Lute x Fem! Reader Part 2

Part 2 of Lute x Sinner Reader story yaaaay

Over the last few months, the hotel has been in what you can only describe as organized chaos. The hotel gained a new resident in Sir Pentious who was a spy for the Vee’s and then wasn’t or something. Charlie reassured you constantly that Pentious was not working for the Vee’s anymore and you had nothing to worry about.

But those sick fucks have been chasing you for longer than any of the other overlords so you’d rather be more safe than sorry. 

After that particular event, you started to feel less safe in the hotel. 

You heard Vox, he tried to infiltrate the only place where you’ve felt safe since you got to the literal hell hole and he tried to send in a fucking spy who Charlie just let walk in instantly after he had attacked the hotel twice.

Who knows what would have happened to you….all of you if Angel Dust hadn’t seen him planting those stupid cameras? 

You love Charlie, she’s nice and she gave you a place to stay. Being mad at her is like being mad at a puppy but all you could keep thinking about for the rest of the month was wondering if Vox saw you.

If the Vee’s know where you are.

If they’ll come looking for you.

What they might do to you if they do catch you.

You had a close call with Velvette one time and one time was enough for the rest of your afterlife. Bitch tried to color-match your fucking fur! You’re pretty sure the only reason you got away was because she was drunk off her British ass.

Vaggie could tell right away that there was something wrong with you and tried to reassure you.

“He didn’t see you Chesh”

She whispered approaching you slowly. 

“You don’t know that boss! What if he did? He could be on his way right now with the other two and he already beat the radio demon once! I need to lea-”

Vaggie cut off your rant by placing her hand on your shoulder gently and pushing you down to sit on the couch.

“Charlie and I wouldn’t let anything happen to you. We promised when you started staying here that we’d keep you safe and we will. You don’t need to run.”

“Thanks, boss… I’m sorry for freaking out. It just really shook me up, I guess.”

You mumbled out, blushing at how pathetic you sound. 

You may not remember much about your life but you’re pretty sure you died sometime in your 20’s. Yet here you are whimpering pathetically and having to get comforted over a fucking video camera. 

After that incident you became more jumpy, every sound put you on edge, and it was worse whenever you were around any form of technology that didn’t look like it was from before the 1980s.

The others tried their best to calm you down in their own ways. Angel Dust started leaving his phone in his room because you’d flinch every time he got a text or phone call from Valentino. 

“Don’t make a big deal outa it, he was annoying me too.”

Husk would keep your favorite booze on standby at all times, when you’d thank him he’d simply grin at you and say, 

“Us feline demons got to stick together.”

Alastor was happy to throw out any and every piece of technology that would make you tense up even slightly, which included most of Pentious’ weapons and very nearly his airship. 

He obviously wasn’t doing it for you but it still felt nice.

“Don’t worry my friend! I’ll happily get rid of these infernal contraptions! I’ve always believed they lacked class anyway.”

Pentious recognized his part in your new-found anxiety and tried to gain your trust by handing his machines to Alastor with many, many, many tears.

“I am more than happy to…give up my arsenal as an apology for invading your persssssonal boundariessss.” He’d hissed out while trying to hold his tears back.

You couldn’t really be mad at him after that.

Nifty even volunteered to go out and ‘hunt phones’ for you.

You said no but that didn’t stop her from bringing you the….remains of some people’s phones.

 “Sometimes I kill mother phones in front of their children as a warning to the other phones!”

“Niffty phones don’t have mothers.”

“Hehe, not anymore…”

Charlie was actually very happy to see how the others stepped in to help you and she was very proud of them even if their methods were…unorthodox.

But that lead her into a spiral. She was desperately trying to figure out why the hotel wasn’t working even though everybody showed considerable improvement.

This leads to her talking with her dad, which somehow leads to you being here in heaven.

“Um, boss why exactly am I here?”

You ask Vaggie nervously, glancing around at the pastel clouds around you. God you haven’t seen pastels in years.

Vaggie looks over at you and sighs, “Well Charlie figured you wouldn’t want to go out with the others and you wouldn’t like to stay in the hotel alone so this was the best option.”

You nod, understanding her point but on the other hand.

“And the…exorcists?”

Vaggie’s shoulders tense for a moment before she looks away from you and mumbles, “I have a feeling they won’t do anything even if we do run into them.”

You want to ask more questions but decide against it, today was stressful enough as it is without you asking stupid questions. 

“Whatever you say, boss.”

You whisper following behind Vaggie and Charlie as they enter the gates of heaven after another fucking song. 

Is it just you? Are you the weird one? Should you be singing more often?

The three of you follow behind the two seraphim, Emily and Sera, while they give you a tour of heaven. Charlie looks completely enamored by the place but Vaggie looks annoyed, as if the pastel clouds had offended her personally.

And you…well honestly you feel a little underwhelmed.

Heaven looks like a glorified mall so far, a mall with strippers because there are way more people walking around shirtless than you thought there would be. 

So you keep trailing behind Vaggie, Charlie, and the angels when you see someone who looks familiar.

She’s a cat demon like you, same color pallet and everything, except she seems much shorter and has a pair of pastel-blue angel wings coming out of her back.

You end up drifting away from the group and start following the small cat angel through the crowds. 

Eventually, you get close enough to reach out and tap her but when you’re about to get her attention you feel a firm hand on your shoulder and you get pulled away roughly and pinned to one of the walls.

You’re completely disoriented for a moment and then you hear a familiar annoying voice.

“Well, well, well look what the cat dragged in.”

You look up to see Adam and Lute, Adam has a wide smirk on his face and Lute looks….wow.

She’s not wearing her helmet so this time you get to admire her completely.

You’d probably be happier about her pinning you to a wall if she wasn’t also holding a giant spear to your neck.

Then again…-

Yeah, it’s still pretty hot.

#fanfic #lute x reader #hazbin chaggie #charlie hazbin hotel #hazbin angel dust #hazbin adam #hazbin husk #hazbin alastor #hazbin lute #hazbin niffty #hazbin sir pentious #x reader #hazbin vaggie

[666writingcafe]

Barbatos' Birthday Surprise (Part Four)

August 22

To say that I'm nervous would be an understatement. I don't know if I've ever fretted this much over what I was going to pack for a weekend away in my entire life. Of course, some of my anxiety has probably been ramped up by Asmo, who's been hovering all week and believing that I need his input, but that doesn't explain all of it.

The truth is, I don't want to disappoint or embarrass Barbatos. I know what Satan said about him acting differently at metal concerts, but he only got that information from other people. For all I know, they may have been lying, and Barbatos actually remains subdued, and I really cannot afford to look like a fool in front of him. It may be a weekend away, but both of us still have reputations we have to uphold.

"MC." Lucifer's voice snaps me out of my mental spiraling. "Barbatos just told me he was on his way to pick you up. I think it might be best if you head downstairs so that you're ready when he arrives. I'll carry your suitcase."

"Lucifer?" I ask as he steps inside my room and grabs the suitcase handle. "Do you think I've made a mistake?"

"Regarding this particular trip, no. Being away from all this for a few days will benefit both of you." He begins walking away, but then pauses and turns back around. "It might comfort you to know that Barbatos has been talking to me about this trip pretty much nonstop since you gave him his early birthday present. I've not seen him this excited about something since the last Three Realm Tea Exposition, and that was centuries ago." Lucifer pauses. "Of course, it may have less to do with the concert itself and more to do with the fact that he gets to spend uninterrupted time with you. He's grown rather fond of you."

~~~

"Nice car." These are the first words that come out of my mouth as soon as I'm alone outside with Barbatos. While part of me wishes I could have been more eloquent in that moment, the car truly shocked me. I never would have expected him to show up in a sleek black convertible, let alone one that looks straight out of the 1950s.

"It was gifted to me many years ago by a human sorcerer," Barbatos replies as he opens the passenger door for me. Once we're both in the car, he adds,

"Before you ask, no, it wasn't Solomon. His gifts are far less tasteful." I snort in amusement. "I'm glad someone finds that funny."

"Was I not supposed to?"

"You're fine, MC. Don't think I took offense, because I didn't. I'm just over Solomon's so-called presents." He starts the car and begins driving away from the House. "One time, he got me a taxidermied rat for Christmas."

"Okay, that's messed up. If I know that you despise rats, then Solomon most definitely should."

"It was dressed up as a butler. At least, that's what he told me. It's not like I studied the damn thing. I ended up chucking it in the fireplace as soon as I realized what it was."

"That must have upset Solomon, assuming that you threw it in front of him."

"Oh, it upset him, alright. He wouldn't talk to me for a few days."

"Serves him right. I mean, what was he expecting you to do, turn cartwheels over the idea of having a beady-eyed rat staring at you?" I glimpse a faint smile on Barbato's lips.

"Believe it or not, some of Solomon's friends thought I was overreacting."

"Somehow, that doesn't surprise me. His behavior gets worse when he spends time with shady people."

"Which accounts for basically everyone he chooses as company. In fact, I'm a little surprised he likes you as much as he does." Okay...did not expect that.

"Really?"

"It's not a knock against you. Quite the opposite, actually. You have a strong moral compass. He doesn't." He pauses as we reach a red stoplight. Once it turns green, he resumes speaking.

"I don't want you to get the wrong impression of Solomon. At the end of the day, he's more often on the side of good than evil. However, he can be easily influenced into causing chaos, which gets him in a lot of trouble."

"Like Mammon?"

"Yes and no. Mammon doesn't always think before he acts. Solomon does."

"I see." I really did not anticipate him revealing this much information. I thought we'd just talk about our trip and maybe get to know each other a little bit, but this...this is new. I don't want to make Barbatos uncomfortable, but at the same time I like this candid side of him. It makes him more relatable. Softer, even.

"Anyway, the point is, I thought that Solomon would take advantage of you being his apprentice, but he seems genuinely interested in teaching you, which is good for him. He needs someone like you to help keep him focused. In a way, so does everyone else."

"Even you?" The question escapes my lips before I can fully register the thought in my head. Unsurprisingly, Barbatos doesn't answer. I pushed him too far.

Dammit.

In an attempt to hide my embarrassment, I turn my head towards the window and passively watch as we drive past different buildings and trees.

At least it's early enough in our trip that we can still enjoy ourselves later.

Doesn't help me out now, but still.

~~~

I don't remember drifting off, but I'm nevertheless jolted awake by the car stopping. Glancing out the window reveals that we're parked in front of a convenience store. I wonder if Barbatos got thirsty or something. In any case, it's a good opportunity for me to stretch, so I get out of the car and begin doing exactly that.

"Everything okay?" The question startles me, as I was not expecting Barbatos to be done so soon.

"Yeah," I respond. "My muscles were just starting to tighten up, that's all." Barbatos nods his head.

"Well, I wasn't sure how hungry you would be, so I grabbed you a couple of things." He hands me a plastic bag containing a sandwich, a banana, and a bottle of water. "All human-friendly."

"Thanks." I grab the sandwich first, which is in a brown paper sleeve. As I take the sandwich out of the sleeve, I end up pulling out a folded-up piece of paper along with it.

"I wasn't sure if you'd be awake when I finished, so I left you a little note," Barbatos explains. I bite into the sandwich before unfolding the note and reading it.

MC,

I apologize for not answering your question earlier. It caught me off guard, and I didn't want to sound jumbled in my reply. I was able to think about it, however, and I was reminded of when I helped you study for your speechcraft exam. Specifically, what you had said to me as you were charming me.

To put it simply, I do need you. Maybe not as much or as intensely as the others, but still. You help me relax in a way that no one else has ever been able to. I feel calm around you.

#obey me shall we date #obey me mc #obey me barbatos #obey me lucifer #obey me solomon

[ravendruid]

Be In My Eyes - Chapter 24

You can read the previous chapters here or on AO3. HAPPY 2024 EVERYONE! I hope you all had wonderful holidays. I'm sorry it took me so long to update. This chapter is kind of short, but I hope you like it. Summary: Keyleth tries to study for finals (keyword: tries), but the universe has other plans.

We will resume this another time, Kiki. Vax’s words replayed in Keyleth’s mind over and over again, even after almost a week since the snowball fight. They hadn’t had the opportunity to resume their interrupted moment due to the mountain of homework and essays they had to work on during the weekend, and the even larger mountain of assignments they were given the next Miresen. To make things worse, Keyleth’s anxiety flared up at the first mention of final’s week. It’s not that she had forgotten about it (the looming red circle on her calendar did not go unnoticed), but with everything going on between classes and dealing with whatever her heart was putting her through with Vax, Keyleth had lost track of time. Since Keyleth felt like she had been falling behind in some classes again for the past few weeks, she decided to increase her study hours, and because Vax and her were on speaking terms again, he was back to spending long hours at the library—or wherever it was that Keyleth decided she wanted to study that day—with her.

On Whelsen, after a particularly cold and snowy day, Keyleth decided to stay home to study, so once she got home from classes, she switched into her most comfortable flannel pajama set and draped a fuzzy blanket on her lap as she sat at the kitchen table in front of Vax, who was wearing his hoodie again. The apartment building’s temperature was centrally controlled, and while maintenance had been nice about keeping it cool during the warm weather, they hadn’t made the transition to heat yet, so the residents were forced to bundle up to fight off the cold.

Keyleth and Vax were home alone again (something that had been happening more and more often) since Pike was at the art studio finishing a painting before the stress of the exams took over, Grog was at practice (which seemed inhuman to Keyleth that he had to play sports in this cold), Scanlan was still in classes, Percy at the workshop finishing some super-secret project, and Vex had taken Trinket on a walk with the promise to return home with snacks. 

Ever since the snow day, whenever Keyleth found herself alone with Vax, the memory of their almost-kiss came crashing and taking over her thoughts like a storm. Between how close his warm breath had been to her lips, and the memory of the loud beating of their hearts on repeat on Keyleth’s mind like a scratched disk for the past ten minutes, she was having a hard time focusing. It also didn’t help that every time Keyleth glanced at Vax, he was lost in thought and focused on his books, either biting the end of his pen or with his tongue peeking from the corner of his mouth as he wrote. The tongue in particular was something Keyleth found extremely distracting as it led to very disrespectful thoughts like how it would feel in her mouth, her skin, or—

Keyleth squirmed uncomfortably in her chair, shaking her head to erase the image of Vax’s head between her legs from her mind. These new thoughts had been recurrent from the moment Keyleth realized she was attracted to him, but even more so since they practically kissed, and it was not the moment for that

“Are you okay?” Vax asked, looking up at her. He didn’t seem to have any idea Keyleth had been stealing longing glances at him for the past hour. 

“I’m fine. Sorry,” Keyleth apologized and returned her focus to the book.

It didn’t last for long, though. Not even a minute later, her head lifted back up to glance at Vax. It was hypnotizing to say the least. The hood of his sweatshirt rested on his back, letting Keyleth see the woven braid from the top of his head that fell on the rest of his loose dark hair. His brow was furrowed in concentration, his chin rested on his hand, and his eyeliner was smudged again, as it always happened at the end of the day (it was like Vax didn’t care to reapply throughout the day). He was beautiful in a way most dangerous things are. Charming and mysterious. Even after so many months of getting to know him, Vax still hid secrets that Keyleth wanted to unravel like her life depended on it, but she waited patiently for him to come to her, to share those dark secrets. 

As if Vax felt Keyleth’s gaze on him again, he looked up, locking his eyes with hers. Keyleth loved his eyes but she always preferred to look at them in the sunlight when they became a lighter, almost amber-like, color. Under the fluorescent light of the kitchen, and with no sun in sight, Vax’s eyes were a shade of dark brown that resembled chocolate (which Keyleth also didn’t mind). And then there was also the intensity in his gaze, as if he was trying to peer into Keyleth’s soul to figure out answers for questions he was so afraid to ask. Sometimes it bothered her, others it made her stare even deeper in challenge. This was one of the former moments. Keyleth was afraid that if for some miracle Vax was able to read her mind, he would see that the reason for her cheeks to be tinged with pink was not because of the heat of the blanket on her lap, but the very disrespectful thoughts she had about him minutes before, so Keyleth quickly shifted her gaze back to her book.

The third time Keyleth was caught staring, she was absent-mindedly biting the end of her pencil as she watched her crush write something in his notebook. Keyleth didn’t even realize she had been staring at Vax with a goofy smile on her face until he looked up with a knowing smirk. Keyleth tried to avert her gaze (again), but this time Vax got up with a chuckle and walked around the table into the kitchen to fill his glass with water. Keyleth tried to pretend she wasn’t paying attention to his movements behind her, or that she wasn’t focused on the sound of his bare feet (how could he walk barefoot on the freezing floor?) moving about the kitchen and the rustle of his clothes as he approached the back of her chair. Keyleth almost flinched when Vax set his glass on the table next to hers, and she sat ramrod straight when he supported his weight on his left hand and leaned above her right shoulder, whispering with his lips close to her ear, “What are you studying Kiki?” His voice was sweet like honey and his sweltering breath kissed the skin of her neck. 

Keyleth gulped at the proximity. Vax’s left arm brushed against her shoulder, the other one held the back of her chair, and his nose brushed sensually against the shell of her ear as if he was waiting for a sign to kiss her there. “Anatomy,” Keyleth replied, fully aware of the flush that spread up her neck. 

Vax hummed so close to her that Keyleth’s pulse increased. “This is wrong,” He said, pointing at the exercise Keyleth had been trying to work on. One of the reasons why Keyleth loved to study with Vax was because he was great at Anatomy—her worst subject—and he always took time to explain things to her and to answer her questions with such patience that Keyleth almost wished she had more classes in common with him so he could explain everything to her. Even though Keyleth usually paid close attention to Vax’s explanations, this time her focus was definitely not cooperating with her when he told her how to correct the exercise. 

“Thank you,” Her voice wavered. 

“Any time, Kiki,” Vax kissed Keyleth’s neck behind her ear, sending a shiver down her spine. Keyleth drew in a sharp breath and she felt Vax smile in triumph against her skin. “You okay?”

Keyleth couldn’t answer. She was too stunned, too flustered to form cohesive sentences. The bottom half of her body was suddenly on fire (especially between her thighs), the hairs of her arms raised with goosebumps, and from the pull in her navel, Keyleth knew she was bound to have very vivid and very disrespectful dreams with the man whose nose still hovered by her ear. Nodding in response to Vax’s question was also a mistake because in doing so, the brush of his nose and lips against her neck created another wave of arousal. Keyleth wanted to ask him for more—her body begged for more—so much so that she subconsciously cocked her head to give Vax better access. He smiled again and leaned in, but just as his lips were about to brush that sweet, sensitive spot on her neck again, the front door opened to a cacophony of voices and the clicking of nails on the floor.

Vax was gone in a blink of an eye, leaving Keyleth shifting in her seat trying to hide how much his proximity had affected her. The sudden cold of his absence didn’t do anything to help cool off the heat, so Keyleth set her blanket on the chair next to her, avoiding eye contact with Vax. Soon after, Vex’ahlia, Percy and Trinket entered the kitchen, chatting boisterously.

“Look who I found downstairs,” Vex’ahlia said, dropping a bag from the store on the table. Percy rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed, avoiding eye contact with Vax and Keyleth—and for a good reason, from what Keyleth could ascertain. His lips were a shade of red darker than usual, almost slightly smudged as if he had been eating candy. If Keyleth didn’t know better, she would have thought her best friend had dug into the candy in the bag, but, unfortunately for him, Keyleth knew that the smudge came from Vex’s lipstick (and even more unfortunately for Percival, from the glare in Vax’s eyes, he also knew the same). 

“Hello,” Keyleth’s voice was still shaky, but thankfully only Percy seemed to notice that and the color on her cheeks. 

“We ran into Allura in the atrium. She said that Gilmore is throwing a costume party this weekend. No specific theme,” Vex announced, pulling a chair next to Vax and digging through the store bag to bring out a bag of candy.

“Finals start in a month. I don’t think it’s wise—” Keyleth started saying, but Vex interrupted her, “Yes, yes. We know. Live a little, Keyleth.”

“What do you mean, live a little?” Keyleth asked, outraged. Hadn’t she been doing just that? Sure, it had been a while since she went to Glorious with everyone else, but she’d been joining them on game nights instead of studying, and it was only a few days ago that she convinced everyone to skip classes so they could have fun together. She was living a little. 

Seeing Keyleth’s reaction and hearing the offense in her tone, Percy intervened by setting one hand on the table between the girls, “I think what Vex’ahlia is trying to say is that we should go to this party together, as a group, and have fun so we can focus on exams afterward.”

“That’s not—” Vex’ahlia started, but Percy gave her a stern look as if to say drop it, so she remained silent. Whatever was happening between them, Vex seemed to listen to Percy more than she listened to her brother recently.

“I personally agree with Freddie,” Vax announced, closing and stacking his books. It seemed like study time alone with him was over. “We should go to this party, and then focus on exams for the rest of the month. And then—” Vax’s eyes glinted with mischief “—when exams are over, we should throw a raging party to celebrate.”

“Now that is an idea I can get behind, brother,” Vex’ahlia slapped Vax’s shoulder, popping candy into her mouth.

Keyleth’s shoulders sagged in resignation, she mumbled a low “fine” and closed her books. It didn’t matter that Vex had brought candy for their study session because there wasn’t a study session anymore, not the way Keyleth wanted.

—

“Should we do a theme for the party?” Scanlan asked a few hours later. The group sat in the living room after dinner, almost everyone holding a bottle of beer in their hand and a notebook in the other as they brainstormed ideas for their costumes. 

“Allura said there wasn’t one,” Vex replied.

“Sure, but what if we did a group theme?”

“Like what? Do we all dress up as football players?” Grog asked.

“Yes, or we each dress up as a character from a movie or a game,” Scanlan threw the idea at the group.

“There are only two days left until the party, Scanman, and some of us can’t afford to buy a costume,” Vax noted.

Keyleth was sitting on her armchair in the corner. She had refused a beer, opting for a cup of tea instead. The last thing she wanted after a stressful day of classes was to go shopping, not to mention that stores would be closed by the time she was done with classes for the next two days. If only there was a way for them to use whatever they had in their wardrobes… Keyleth’s eyes wandered between her roommates, studying their looks. Grog and Pike had very similar styles: relaxed and comfortable, often opting for sweats and large t-shirts or clothes that allowed them to move. The twins’ styles were also very alike, both going with edgy clothes that could easily be interchangeable. The only people whose style deviated were Keyleth, Scanlan and Percy: the former because most of her clothes were thrifted or handmade; the second because they were sometimes flashy and bold; and the latter due to his business casual style.

“Wait, that’s it,” Keyleth thought out loud, sitting up on her armchair with a smile.

“What’s what, darling?” Vex’ahlia asked. Every head turned to Keyleth in confusion, making her heart jump to her throat from being the center of attention.

“Uh… I had an idea,” Keyleth mumbled.

“Let’s hear it.”

“What if we dress as each other? We can put our names on a piece of paper and each one of us goes and selects someone at random, and we can use their clothing. That way we don’t need to buy new stuff. But we should keep it a surprise until the day of the party.”

“That’s a great idea Kiki,” Vax’s eyes lit up with pride—Keyleth’s heart sank back into her chest from Vax’s words of reassurance.

“How do we keep it a surprise if we need to use their clothing?” Percy asked.

“We steal it,” Vax replied with a laugh. 

“Okay but I don’t think Vex’s skirts will fit me,” Grog pointed out.

“I’d love to see that,” Vex laughed. 

“Well, we might have to buy one or two things, but it should be easy, right?” Keyleth’s anxiety was back. What if they hated the idea of wearing each other’s clothes?

“I think it’s a wonderful idea, I’m in,” Pike said with a smile. 

Scanlan and Vax agreed, then Vex and Percy, who exchanged a knowing look between them, and lastly Grog with a shrug. They wrote down their names on a piece of paper, folded it and mixed it inside Grog’s cap. The hat went around as they took a piece of paper one by one. It took Keyleth all her strength to hide her excitement when she saw the familiar handwriting on her piece of paper. This is going to be fun.

“Did anyone get their own name?” Scanlan asked. Everyone shook their heads, some smiling, others looking worried. “Well then, good luck everyone.” Scanlan winked.

Keyleth knew right away what she wanted to wear, and how she was going to do her hair and makeup, but some of her anxiety returned as she looked at the person she had been randomly assigned—chuckling on the inside at the irony of the situation. She had no idea how she was going to steal their clothes, but she had two days to figure it out.

#critical role #cr fic #vox machina #vaxleth #modern au #college au #be in my eyes #who has never stared at their crush while they study and think sinful thoughts about them? #I totally never did that in college :3

[ahdraftingco]

Oneshot: Such A Good Listener

Pairing: The Mandalorian x Reader

AO3 Crosspost: https://archiveofourown.org/works/41184948

Rating: Explicit, readers are advised to read the warnings below before proceeding.

Warnings (in no particular order): Gender-Neutral (AFAB) Reader, Porn With Plot, Friends to Lovers, Soft!Din Djarin, Depictions of Anxiety/Depression/Self-Esteem Issues, Nightmares, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Phone Sex, Praise Kink, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Multiple Orgasms, Alcohol Usage, Bad Jokes, Playful Sex

Summary: You wouldn't call you and Din Djarin "friends" but he's always there for you when you need him. So, when you're having one of those days where you just need a little bit more than a friend, he's happy to deliver.

Word Count: 14.7k+ (this oneshot can be read in chapters on AO3)

A/N: I will note that I wrote this to comfort myself during a low period so there are realistic depictions of anxiety/depression/self-loathing so be aware of this before proceeding in case that might be triggering for you!

To contrast with my rather dark series (Lesson Learned), this oneshot features a soft and playful Din and there's a lot of banter/all around lighthearted vibes. This fic also has a gender-neutral (afab) reader, just like one of my other oneshots (Let Me Help You), so if you enjoyed that story, you'll hopefully like this one too! ♡

Three days. It's been three days since the last time you've gotten out of bed. Well, okay, maybe that's not completely true. Technically you got up to stuff snacks in your bedside drawer and to go to the bathroom, but other than that, you've been sulking in bed.

The nightmares are back. Though, they're more like night terrors. The kind of dreams where it's just dark and you're so scared out of your fucking mind that you always wake up in a cold sweat, feeling absolutely disgusting.

It only makes it worse that you wake up alone with no one there to tell you everything's going to be okay.

You're a strong independent person but sometimes you just fucking wish you didn't have to solely depend on yourself.

Wouldn't it be nice to be taken care of for once? Is that too much to ask? It feels like the universe thinks so…

You haven't slept since yesterday. You've been up for almost an entire day now and there's no way you're going back to sleep. You sat with the cold water running in your refresher just to stay awake. You refuse to sleep. You're terrified of what might happen if you do.

You can't wake up alone again. You absolutely can't. So, you do the only thing you can do at a moment like this.

You phone a friend, though calling Din Djarin your friend is a bit…interesting.

Not that you two aren't friends. You are. Kind of? It's confusing.

You can't really say you two have a friends with benefits situation either because it only happened once. He needed a place to crash so you offered to let him stay with you. Which wasn't anything out of the ordinary, he has been over plenty of times before to sleep. You had a guest bedroom for a reason.

However, that one time, he came over and he asked if you had anything to drink. You did. He knew you did. He has stolen your liquor plenty of times before so you had no clue why he was asking permission this time. But he asked anyway.

You pulled out the bottles you had and…he took off his helmet. He must have been having a very bad day because you don't think he even thought about the fact that you were there with him. He just wanted to drink with nothing getting in the way.

At the very least, he let you control his intake, so you made sure to pad every shot with a glass of water. He didn't protest, since it meant he could keep drinking.

After a while, you had to speak up. You were worried that seeing his face would affect his creed. You didn't want to accidentally harm him in some way but you couldn't really take back the sight of him.

It ingrained itself into your memory.

His soft curls, his light patchy stubble, his warm skin, his brown eyes that stared so hopelessly into yours. You knew that look. It was him, reaching out to you without words. His eyes screamed what he couldn't say. He was reflecting his depression in them and you felt so terrible that the first time you ever got to see him, it was because he was too out of it to consider the consequences.

That's when he told you what happened. How he's no longer the Mandalorian. How he's just "Din Djarin" now. How he had taken the helmet off one too many times. How he felt so lost, so alone, so…outcasted by the only family he had.

You stopped giving him drinks after that.

You went over and knelt beside Din. Then, you started to strip off his armor. You didn't want him to carry more weight than he should at that moment and he let you as he spoke in rambles, like he was desperate to vent it all out to someone. That's what you were there for. You unbuckled every strap holding his armor to his body in silence as you listened to him speak and after a while, he just watched you. There weren't words left to say at that point. He had gotten them all out and you had heard them all.

You can still feel the way his hand grazed your cheek. You didn't know when he took off his gloves. You weren't paying attention. But, you let him touch you and he did. He brushed his fingers along every inch of your face and simply stared at you knelt on the floor beside him.

Very few words were exchanged after that. You remember Din asking if he could touch more of you and you saying yes. You could tell he had never done anything like that before, which is why you didn't mind being his first. He took his time exploring every inch of your naked body, his curiosity running wild. You liked how he didn't realize the looks he was making, since he was so used to having the helmet on. He would glaze his eyes over you, not hiding a single emotion on his face. Was that what he looked like under the helmet? It was almost innocent in a way.

This went on for hours, to the point where you knew Din was completely sober and fully aware of what he was doing. He asked if it was okay and you reassured him every time he needed it. He asked if he was doing things right and you showed him how to make you feel good. He was a very fast learner. You liked how gentle he was. You also liked how unafraid he was to ask if he could do more.

You can't recall how many times you came that night. He kept wanting to learn more and you weren't going to stop him. You were enjoying yourself as much as he was and it was obvious that this distracted him from his spiraling thoughts.

Din had something else to focus on for a moment: you.

At a certain point, you gained enough courage to ask him if you could touch him. Din said yes and you took an equal amount of time exploring his naked body. You knew this sight was something that was only for you. No one had ever seen him like that. No one else knew the way he looked when he felt good. Only you.

You didn't like the thoughts that swirled your mind after that. You wanted to claim Din. You wanted to have him all to yourself. You wanted him to only do this with you, but you had no control over that so you didn't act on those thoughts. You only did as much as he allowed you to. You wouldn't get greedy and overstep.

The only regret you have from that night was having him wear protection. You made him for his own sake because you wanted him to get used to the idea so he knew to use it with other people. It was important to use protection but you had an implant so you wished you had let him go without just to know what it would've felt like to have him finish inside of you at least once.

You both went through all the protection you had that night. A part of you wondered if it would have gone on longer if you had more in stock. It was the only reason you chose to stop, even though you could've easily let yourself drown in how good it felt to be held by Din.

You hadn't bothered to buy more protection since then. It was clearly a one-time thing. He never even mentioned it afterwards. You should've taught him aftercare but…you hated the fact that you didn't think you deserved it. He already made you feel better than you've felt in ages. You just couldn't get yourself to ask for more than that. It felt too selfish to experience the way it would've felt to be cuddled by him. Maybe that's another thing you regret.

You should stop reminiscing. You're only going to work yourself up and that coupled with the sadness you already feel isn't going to help you in the long run.

You wait for the comm link to go through and you're surprised Din actually answered. Normally, you leave a message and he just shows up, but this time, he picked up.

"Yeah?" He says rather curt because he's breathing heavily.

What's going on?

"Are you alright? What are you doing?" You ask because you've never heard him this out of breath since–

The sound of him firing several rounds of his blaster rings in the background as he goes, "in the middle of fighting some bandits. Can you give me a second?"

"Why would you pick up in the first place!" You can't believe him right now.

What kind of person answers a comm in the middle of a gunfight!

"I thought–" He shoots his blaster three times in quick succession, "that it would be over sooner."

"You're ridiculous." You tell him with a sigh.

Din takes in several short breaths, like he just finished running. For some reason, instead of worrying about whatever he's doing, he asks you, "are you okay?"

"I'm fine." You shouldn't have called. He's busy and you're just getting in the way.

So you open your mouth to tell him to disregard this comm but he interrupts you before you can. "Can I come over later?"

"Do you want to?" You aren't going to make him.

The sound of him stabbing into someone with a knife cuts in as he answers, "yeah, I need to wash the blood off."

He yanks the knife out then and you're in utter shock that he's still talking to you. "You should hang up."

"I'll be done soon." He lets out those heavy breaths of his again that make you a bit too aware of how much you worked yourself up earlier thinking about him.

Your heart is racing and your thighs are squeezed together, your body desperate for some friction. You could just–

No. You're not going to do that. That's a ridiculous thought. Why are you thinking of touching yourself right now? Are you that pent up over him breathing?

"What are you doing?" His words pull a gasp out of you, like you've been caught in the act even though you aren't even doing anything.

You're only thinking about it.

"Nothing." You try to still your rapid heartbeat.

"Where are you right now?" He's strangely demanding in his tone.

"I'm just at home, laying in bed." You feel awkward admitting that but the words slip out before you could stop them.

"Why are you breathing so heavy if you're just laying in bed?"

Oh fuck, are you really? That's not good.

"I'm not breathing heavily." You deny his claim to avoid thinking of an appropriate answer.

"Yes you are." He's stricter now. "Tell me what you're doing."

"Aren't you in the middle of something?" You can literally hear him fighting.

"Are you?" Is he implying what you think he is?

"What is that supposed to mean?" You rebuttal. He can't possibly think that–

"Tell me, right now." There's a bite in his voice that sends shivers through you and now you're even more flustered than before.

"What do you want me to say?" You aren't doing anything, even though you desperately want to.

"Fine, if you don't want to tell me, you don't have to." His words throw you for a loop out of nowhere. "Just don't stop."

Wait, what? Does he want you to touch yourself?

"You're in the middle of something, Din." You attempt to reason with him.

"So are you. I want to hear you finish what you started." He can't be serious…

"Are you going to come over and finish what you've started?" You need to know that this is going to lead somewhere.

"Yes. I'll be there right after I'm done here. So give me something nice to listen to while I deal with these bandits." Din is causing your stomach to do flips at how provocative his voice is.

When did he learn how to speak like that? It's way too dangerous but you can't stop yourself from doing what he says.

So, you do what you've been wanting to, slipping your hand between your legs. You lay back, getting comfortable as you feel how wet you've gotten along your fingertips. Then, you drag your fingers upwards until you find your clit and your breath hikes suddenly.

"Tell me what you're doing." Din commands and you bite back your own embarrassment over how much you're enjoying this.

It takes you a while, mainly because you're a bit distracted by your own hand, but you eventually confess, "I'm touching myself."

"You'll have to give me a little more than that." He says with his own bout of heavy breathing.

It sounds like he's fighting someone in hand to hand combat and he wants you to talk to him? If you weren't so desperate for an orgasm right now, you might laugh at this whole situation but you really want to ease the tension coiling up in your body.

"I'm going slow." You draw out your words, so he can really enjoy them if he wants to. "Rubbing small circles with my fingertips. I'm so wet that it's distracting, making it too slippery. Hard to concentrate, hard to get it right."

"Are you thinking about me?" Fuck, why did he have to ask that?

And what compels you to answer truthfully? "Yes, I am."

"Do you remember the way I touched you before? You came so hard when I played with your clit and fingered you at the same time."

Does he have to remind you so vulgarly? Of course you remember, you were the one who told him what to do after all…

"I do." You admit.

"Then, do that. Use both hands." He instructs but you protest.

You can't do that because… "I'm holding the comm device against my ear with my other hand."

"Put me on speaker. I want to hear how wet you are." He's going to drive you insane if he keeps talking like that.

The heat rises in your body at the thought of him being able to actually hear you touch yourself but you don't dare disobey so you put him on speaker, laying the tiny tablet on your stomach. Then, you move your now free hand under your waistband so you can dip two fingers inside of you, biting your lip to stop yourself from whimpering in response.

"No more holding back your voice." He tells you sternly. "I want to hear you clearly."

"Din, you're making me go crazy saying that." Your legs buckle a little as you find a good rhythm with your hands, touching yourself exactly how you need to in order to get off.

"Isn't that a good thing? Don't you want to come?" He coaxes you closer to your orgasm. "Let me hear it. I'm impatient."

"How are you impatient for my orgasm?" You can barely speak those words out properly but you're just amazed he's acting like this.

"Because the faster you come, the quicker I can hear it again. You have to be close–wait, hold on." He grunts and you can hear the sound of him kicking someone and the body hitting the ground with a thud. Din then speaks up again but he's not talking to you, "can you please stay down? I'm trying to listen to something more entertaining than this shit."

You stop touching yourself then because you can't help yourself and let out the laugh you've been holding in.

Why is he being so cute right now?

"Hey, did you stop?" He sounds irritated but you realize he's not irritated at you when you hear him shoot his blaster. "Can you please stop fighting me! Can't you see I'm fucking busy?"

Din fires several more shots and a few more bodies drop in the background. He catches his breath and you ask, "is it over yet?"

"Yeah–" He gets cut off by the sound of footsteps charging at him, "fuck, there's a few more. Get back to it, I'll be done soon."

How are you supposed to touch yourself when this is so much more entertaining? You chuckle at the sounds of him fighting.

"I said, get back to it." He demands fiercely in the midst of fighting someone.

"Yes, sir!" You teasingly say before moving your hands back into your pants, starting to touch yourself again.

It takes you a bit to find a good pace again and Din sort of throws that out of the window when he tells you, "go faster."

"But–"

"Are you talking back to me?" He snaps at you before you can finish your sentence.

"No…" You cower a little, surprised he's being so aggressive.

"No, what? Address me correctly." Oh, he wants you to– "Hurry up, don't make me wait."

"No, sir." You answer back quickly.

"Good. I don't want to repeat myself again. So, go faster. I want to hear you come and I want you to come hard. Got it?" He demands a response.

"Yes, sir." You hold back a whine as you force yourself to ramp up speed, thrusting your fingers at a much quicker pace. This, combined with the way you're rubbing your clit, is building you towards an orgasm way too fast. You're going to come soon and you're terribly unprepared for him to hear it.

That's when he goes, "say my name."

You can't possibly do that, not when you're this close!

You attempt to argue, "Din–"

"Louder." He cuts you off at that moment with such a dominating voice that you can't hold it in anymore.

Right as you come, you breathe out his name loud enough to echo through your room as an unbelievable amount of pleasure shoots through you. All that tension releases and you writhe against your hands, choking on your own inhales from how intense it was. You pull your hands away and instinctively curl up into a ball, your whole body shaking uncontrollably. It's so difficult to catch your breath but you manage to when you hear him again.

"Good job. It sounds like you came a lot. You did so well." He praises you and you have no idea why that makes you feel even better than you do right now. "Now, go clean up and get back in bed. I'll be there soon."

"Actually soon or are there more bandits to deal with?" You laugh at your own joke.

"I won't keep you waiting, I promise." He's so gentle all of a sudden that your heart skips a beat.

"See you soon, Din." You cuddle up with the tablet in your hand, smiling as you end the comm link.

You should really get out of bed and do what he told you to but you're so sleepy all of a sudden. It's like all of your exhaustion finally caught up with you and you can't quite fight it anymore. You'll wash up in a bit.

You're just going to close your eyes for a few minutes…

❈❈❈❈❈❈

It's so cold. The darkness is unwelcoming and all consuming. Why did you fall asleep? Wasn't Din supposed to be here? Of course you fell asleep. How fucking stupid, why couldn't you just stay awake! He probably left when he saw you sleeping. He's never there when you wake up…

You don't want to wake up but you don't want to stay in this nightmare anymore. You don't know what to do. You're scared. You're so fucking scared because you know you're going to wake up sobbing, completely frozen in place. You always lock up but your heart will be pounding so much that your chest hurts.

Don't wake up. Wake up. Don't wake up. Wake up.

The decision lingers in your mind as you cry in your sleep. You don't even realize you've been shaken awake until you start screaming, not used to being touched the moment you wake up.

"It's okay. You're okay." A voice fills your ears and you don't believe it's real.

You blink, the tears blurring your vision. As your sight clears up, you see him. "Din?"

He's here…and he's not wearing anything except a pair of pants. How long has he been here? Why is he dressed like that? Or, better question, why isn't he dressed?

"Sorry, you were whimpering in your sleep so I thought it would be better to wake you up. Are you alright?" His hand pats the top of your head and you realize then that he has you wrapped up in his arms.

Wait…was he sleeping here with you?

"Why are you next to me?" You don't answer his question and just skip to your own.

"I told you I was going to be here." His words don't make sense to you for some reason.

"But I fell asleep…"

Din shouldn't be here. It's too nice. You don't deserve it.

Why is it so warm in his arms right now? You're all too tempted to lean in, to let him comfort you, but you can't.

"You must have been tired." He lifts his hands up to cup your face, wiping the tears away as they fall. "How long have you been having nightmares?"

You can't understand why him asking you makes your heart ache so much. Is it because it seems like he genuinely cares about you? Why is that so unbelievable sometimes? It's difficult to believe anyone gives a shit about you, especially when you're lost in the darkness of your mind sometimes.

"Don't worry about me. I'm fine." You lie through your teeth, trying to put on a smile and blinking away the remaining tears.

"You wouldn't have reached out to me if you were fine." He points out and you look away, not knowing how to face him.

You don't want to face the consequences of your spur of the moment decision because then you'll remember the way you let him hear you touch yourself. You'll remember how good it felt to come and then how good it felt that he was happy you did. You'll remember the way his body feels against yours.

You're remembering it right now because you're still in his arms…

"I'm sorry, Din. Is it okay if we don't do this right now? I-I need a minute."

You can't handle being near him. You just want to melt into his touch and let him take all your pain away but that's too selfish. You'd be using him and his kindness. You aren't worth it.

"Do you want me to go?"

No. That's what you want to say but the word refuses to leave your lips.

Instead, the words that spill out are the product of your self-hatred, "you shouldn't have been here in the first place. There are better beds to wake up in than mine. I'm nothing but a hassle. I'm sorry."

You can't bear it anymore and you pull yourself away from him, getting up onto your feet and you immediately lock yourself in your bathroom. You almost don't turn on the refresher in time before you just burst out into tears. Your chest aches terribly and you can't breathe.

Are you having a panic attack? Maybe.

You don't even have the mind to strip. You just get right into the refresher, falling to your knees. The water runs over you and you can't say it helps at all. You're hoping Din has left already so he doesn't hear you sounding fucking terrible. You're so embarrassed…

Showing this side of you scares people away. It always does. No one wants a problem. No one wants to deal with someone who they can't control. No one wants someone who can't even control themselves sometimes.

It's not like you can help it. You'll get into one of your lower moods and it takes you a while to break free from the mindset. No one ever stays last enough to see you get better. It's as if they don't believe you ever will.

Can you blame them? You don't know. You truly think you're the problem.

You nearly shoved this problem onto Din. Why did you call him? Were you really that lonely that you had to ruin one of the only good relationships in your life?

You'll never recover from this. He'll never look at you the same way again. You shouldn't even think about him. It's your fault you fucked this up. You have to live with the consequences.

You should've never fallen asleep. If you had just stayed up, everything would've been different. Why couldn't you just stay awake!

Now, you won't sleep. You absolutely refuse to. So, you stay under the steady flow of cold water showering you until you're certain you won't be falling asleep any time soon.

You peel off your clothes then, letting them sit in the corner of the refresher. You'll deal with them when you're feeling better.

It takes you a bit, as it always does, but you find the energy to wash up. You scrub your skin a little too harshly, needing to feel something other than the complete emptiness that's torturing you inside.

You sigh as you shut the water, watching as it drips down your body. Sometimes, it feels like you aren't even in your body. You have to remind yourself that you have one.

With a towel wrapped around you, you unlock your bathroom and leave. As expected, Din isn't here anymore. You don't know if you should feel relieved or burst into more tears. It was stupid to think he would stay. You locked yourself in there for hours. At least, that's what it felt like.

Once you've dried off and tossed your towel somewhere to throw in the laundry later, you climb into your cold bed, bundling yourself in the covers. You really should've put on clothes first…

How is it cold already? Did you think it was going to be warm because Din was just here? Stupid. So stupid.

You can't cry anymore. That's not the truth but you don't want to start crying because you know it won't end if you do and you'll wear yourself out and you might accidentally fall asleep which will just restart the cycle of depression again. No, you need to stay awake. You need to break out of your own mind.

You just wish it wasn't so cold…

The sound of the door opening startles you and you actually let out a scream out of sheer panic. Who–

"Sorry, did I wake you?" Din reappears before you and you rub your eyes because you're in pure disbelief.

"What are you still doing here?" You spit out because it's the only thing you can say. "I thought you left…"

"I never left. I just went to get another shirt." He gestures to his now covered upper body.

Wait, but if he's already wearing a shirt, why is he holding one?

He catches your eyes staring and explains, "oh, this one's for you."

Then, Din takes off the shirt he's currently wearing, swapping it for the other one rather seamlessly. He walks over to your bedside and kneels down, not wanting to sit on the bed. He places his previously worn shirt beside you.

"I kept it warm for you, in case you're cold." His lips curve into a soft smile and you don't know why but you completely break down then, sobbing uncontrollably.

Did he really put on a shirt for the sole purpose of warming it up for you? That's just…you can't properly describe it. Nothing would do this gesture justice.

"I'll help you put it on." He places his hands on the covers, urging you to let him do the work for you.

You nod through your tears. His hands gently lift the covers off your body, then he pulls the shirt he was wearing on for you.

It is warm.

"Better?" Din asks, resting his arms on the bed, looking up at you.

"W-why would you do this for me?" You barely get the words out through your sniffles.

"Because this is me telling you to let me carry some of that weight you're holding all by yourself, even if it's just wearing my shirt to keep you warm."

You didn't realize how much lighter you feel having his warmth around you. You smell his familiar scent on the fabric of the shirt and it's oddly comforting because his direct touch would be too much for you. You can take this. You're okay with a shirt.

Letting him comfort you? That's a whole other hurdle. You don't think you're ready for that yet. But this shirt? This is exactly what you need right now.

"Thank you." You wipe the tears away. "I'm sorry–"

"Don't apologize." He stops you before you dip back into that guilty mindset. "You didn't make me do anything. I wanted to do this. Think of it as a purely selfish thing. I should be the one apologizing to you."

"Why would you need to apologize to me?" You tilt your head in confusion, your sobs subsiding now.

That's when Din shifts to look you right in the eyes and says, "because I'm trying to convince you to let me stay here with you even though you told me to go."

"Do you really want to stay?" You ask but you're unsure if you'll believe whatever he tells you in response.

"I want to do more than just stay. I'm sorry." He smirks after he apologizes and you chuckle a little.

"You don't look very sorry." You tease him and he laughs in return.

"I'm not, at least not about wanting to do more with you than just sit here." He's swimming in treacherous waters right now with those words.

"I quite like the way you look sitting there." It's your turn to smirk. It's true, him knelt at the side of your bed is sparking something inside of you.

"I wouldn't mind staying here if you give me something to do." Is Din really offering…

"You don't have to." You recede into yourself a little, those bad thoughts clawing their way back up again.

"Listen to me." His voice snaps you out of your potential spiral. "If you want something, then be honest. Don't worry about whether or not it's too much for me. That's for me to decide, okay? I can always say no."

You have no idea where these words come from but you just blurt them out, "what if I want too much?"

"You'll never know until you ask. For all you know, maybe what you want is barely enough for me." His gaze on you is intense.

There's a softness in it but you know what he looks like with desire in his brown eyes and that's the stare looking back at you.

Pure desire.

"Then tell me what you want, Din. Let me be the one to say yes or no." You can't bring yourself to ask him for anything but if he wants something, then you can do that.

He doesn't waste any time and asks, "will you let me make you feel good right now?"

"How?" You want to know what he wants to do specifically.

He chuckles and then says, "am I allowed to say every possible way as my answer?"

You laugh because you know he's being serious. "You're really adorable sometimes."

"Only sometimes?" He raises an eyebrow at you, feigning disappointment.

"Would you rather be adorable all the time or between my legs right now?" You say as smoothly as you can without getting too worked up.

"You know my answer." He pats the space in front of him.

"Do you want to get on the bed?" You feel kind of bad having him kneel there, even if he looks great there.

"I want you to get your ass over here, now." Din is perfectly demanding with his tone.

You nod and move the covers off of you, revealing that you're bare from the waist down. You love the smile he has on his face as you sit up, hanging your legs off the side of the bed. He settles himself between your legs, looking up at you with those soft eyes of his.

"Do you know how long I've been waiting to finally touch you again?" His hands press against your inner thighs, spreading your legs wide open for him.

"You've only ever touched me once, Din. Why so eager?" Your hand finds its way into his curls, admiring the way they look between his fingertips.

"Because I only ever want to touch you." His words make your heart pound.

"What?" You're a bit shocked. "You haven't touched anyone else?"

"Why would I?" He leans in then, kissing your skin. You shiver at the feeling of his stubble scratching you lightly as he says, "you're the only person I've ever wanted. Why would I ever touch anyone else when I have you?"

"Wait, Din." You tap his head and he lifts away from you, staring up at you in confusion. The insecurity creeps into your words, "you don't have to say things like that to me."

Especially when you don't mean it.

That's how you want to end your sentence but you stop yourself from pushing your problems onto him. He doesn't need to say sweet words to you. They only make things difficult in the long run…

"Do you not believe me?" He asks and you swallow your nerves.

"It's not that I don't, I just…"

You don't want him to waste his affection on someone like you. He should find someone else who isn't so lost in their own head.

"Lay down." He tells you and you blink at him, not sure if you should. "If you don't want me, that's fine. But, if you do want me, then lay down and pay attention to me instead of your spiraling mind."

"Din…" You don't know what to do.

If you let him make you feel good, then you'll never be able to let him go. It'll break you, even more than you already are broken.

"Tell me you don't want me and I'll leave you alone." He gives you that out you believe you want.

"I'm scared to want you." You admit the truth and the tears start to fall from your eyes again. "I'm scared I'll ruin the only good relationship left in my life if I allow myself to want you. I'm so scared…"

You sob into your hands. You're so overwhelmed with emotion right now. You can't want him. You don't deserve him. You're just taking advantage of his kindness.

Why did you ever think you could do this?

"Lay down." He whispers and you feel his breath against your ear with his hand resting on your back.

Din leans you onto your back on the bed. Then, he helps you lay yourself comfortably on your pillow with the covers over you. His arms hold you snugly from behind, spooning you. You can't stop crying but your body melts into his, accepting the warm embrace.

"Everything's going to be okay. It's okay to be scared. It's okay to feel bad sometimes." His breath tickles the nape of your neck. He starts to kiss your skin as he speaks soft words of affirmation to you, "it's okay to want to get better on your own and it's okay to want help along the way. It's okay to want me to be there for you. There's nothing wrong with having desires. You're allowed to want good things for yourself."

"But I don't know how to appreciate them." You stifle another sob. "I can't get anything to go right, even if I want them to…"

You clutch onto his arms, needing some kind of support, and he's there to hold you steady. Then, Din goes, "isn't it enough that you want things to get better? Why do they have to be "right"? Why can't we just go moment to moment and let things happen as they're meant to happen?"

"But what if they go badly?" You deflate a little, thinking of all the things that could go wrong if you keep letting Din get closer to you.

"What if they don't?" He pulls you onto your back so that you can look up at him as he says, "do you trust me?"

"I do." Of course you do. He wouldn't be this close to you if you didn't.

"I trust you too." Din takes your hand and pulls it to his cheek. You gently caress his jaw, feeling that patchy stubble of his that you like all too much.

"Do you really?" You meet his gaze. "I worry about that. You've let me see you twice now. Won't the Mandalorians shun you?"

"I used to think I should hide myself from everyone but then I realize there are some people that are worth sharing myself with." He leans down and brushes his nose against yours. "I gave you all of me back then and I'm asking you right now to let me see all of you. The good, the bad, everything. I want to get to know every side of you."

"It's not pretty." You want him to be realistic.

Depression isn't something to romanticize. It's brutal and numbing. It makes the little things difficult and the bigger things even more impossible. It's hard to live with, but you try everyday to make it to the next.

Is that truly enough?

"It's not supposed to be pretty and I wouldn't want it to be. You don't have to be beautiful all the time. Don't put that kind of pressure on yourself." His eyes are so kind, staring back at yours. "It's okay to have bad days, as long as you're looking forward to the good ones that will be there when you're ready. It'll always get better and that's what matters."

You reach up with your other hand so you can cup his face with both of yours. He's really here, telling you all these wonderful words that you've been needing to hear.

Din's right. Things do get better. Even if it doesn't feel like they will sometimes, they do once you've made it past the hurdle.

You just need to get there.

"Can I lean on you for tonight?" You take the leap and ask for help for once. "I don't want to be alone."

"Of course." Din presses a kiss on your forehead before asking, "how do you want me?"

"Will you face me so I can look at you until I fall asleep? If that's okay…" You still don't know how comfortable he is with you seeing him like this so you want to make sure.

"Come here." He lays back down on his side, opening his arms. "Lean on me."

You nod and huddle closer, letting him wrap his arms around you as you bury your face into his warm chest. He tucks the covers around the both of you securely and you share a pillow with him. His face is so close to yours that you can feel every breath he exhales against your lips.

"Can I kiss you good night?" It's nice of him to ask because a few moments ago, you would've said no but right now, all you want to do is feel his lips on yours.

"Yes, please." You muster up a gentle smile.

Din closes the gap between your lips and kisses you for just a moment. It's perfect. You don't need more than that to feel warmth surging through you.

You're comfortable like this.

"Good night." He tells you quietly. "I'm here if you need me, so don't be afraid to sleep."

"Thank you, Din." You settle yourself back against his chest, breathing in deeply, relaxing yourself in his embrace. "Good night."

Sleep finds you eventually in the calm, quiet night. For once, you feel safe enough to sleep because you know you'll be okay when you wake up.

❈❈❈❈❈❈

It's warm for once. When was the last time it was ever this pleasantly warm? It's not hot, not like when you wake up with a hot flash, screaming from some kind of traumatic memory resurging in your dreams.

No, this is comfort. This is the kind of warmth that you'd crave even on the hottest of days and the kind of warmth that you're desperate for on the coldest of nights.

You wake up slowly to the feeling of Din gently trailing his fingers along your arm. He's looking at you with a soft smile on his face and your heart flutters at the sight until you realize you've been asleep this whole time.

Has he been waiting for you? How long has he been up?

You feel a wave of panic rush through you that he immediately suppresses by saying, "I just woke up too. Don't worry, there's nothing wrong with sleeping a little more than me."

"Sorry." You feel so bad that he can just tell how worked up you could get suddenly.

"What are you sorry about?" He wonders and there's this kindness in his voice that's not condescending in the slightest, like he genuinely wants to know why you're closing up.

"I've been…told before that I sleep too much or that I stay in bed too long and I just–" You hold in a sigh but it slips anyways. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to think that you'd be anything like that but I don't know how else to think sometimes…"

"That makes sense." He pats your head, trying to soothe you with his actions and his words, "if you've never had anyone tell you otherwise, then you expect that to be what's normal. That's understandable, it'll take time but you'll open up to other possibilities. There's no rush."

"You're so patient." You comment out of nowhere and he chuckles, messing your hair up a bit.

"I guess I learned from the best." Is he talking about you?

"What do you mean?" You look up at him, curious.

"You've always been patient with me." He details all the times you've helped him. "I barge into your house, steal your booze, vent my problems to you and you always sit there and listen without judgment. You even go beyond that and take care of me. Watching the number of drinks I have. Making sure I have water. Lugging me into bed if I need help. You're more than patient, so why wouldn't you deserve the same?"

"I do that because you're my friend." You say that as if it's one-sided and he catches it in your tone.

"Do you not think you're my friend?" He asks and you feel backed into a corner.

The truth is, you don't. You don't think Din is really friends with you. You just think you're convenient. You're easy. You're someone he can reach out to and then dump whenever he's tired of you.

Is it the depression talking? Probably.

You have to maintain your distance from him because there are moments, like this one right now, where you fear you will slip up and want too much from him when you're worried he's going to abandon you like everyone else.

You've never wanted someone so much before and it scares you. That's why you have always kept him at arm's length and never ask for more than you absolutely need.

You need to answer him so you say, "I don't know."

"Well, to tell you the truth, you aren't my friend." His words make you meet his eyes and he tells you, "you're much more than that to me."

"What?" You're confused at what he's trying to say.

"I know it's too soon for you, since you're still going through your own stuff but I'm telling you right now that I want to wait for you." Din cups your cheek with his hand, resting it there so he can touch you as he goes, "I'll wait until you're ready to be with me, if that's something you're okay with."

"You want to…" You're baffled. Floored. Stunned. All the words that mean shocked to the very core. You can't comprehend it.

Is he really…does he want to be in a relationship with you? Why would he want something like that?

"I want to be yours so I'll wait until you're ready to be mine." He says with the softest smile you've ever seen. You can't believe it to the point where you have to pinch his face to check if you're dreaming it up and he laughs that beautiful laugh of his in reaction to you. "Ow?"

"You're being serious." You breathe out like it's crazy talk.

"I've been serious about you for a very long time." He pinches you in the cheek.

"Ow!" You groan. Did you pinch him that hard or was he just purposefully trying to make your cheek ache?

"Sorry, you're too cute sometimes. I get carried away." He leans in, nudging you with his nose.

Sometimes, Din acts so innocent and it's just…you're worried you're holding him back. You can't be selfish, which is why you ask, "why would you wait for me? You could have anyone else, so why would you want me?"

He shrugs, saying sarcastically, "I wish I knew."

"You're an ass!" You shove him and he lets out another laugh.

Once his laughing fit subsides, he goes, "do you really want to know?"

"Yes," you reply, "why else would I ask–"

Before you can finish your sentence, Din lays you on your back, getting on top of you. The heat rises in your body all of a sudden as you feel him settle his hips between your legs. He hovers over you, showing you just how much bigger he is in comparison. Your heart is pounding out of your chest when your eyes meet his again.

"I want you because I've had a taste and now I can't live without you." He brushes his lips against your jaw, making you hold your breath to stop yourself from reacting to his touch. "I've fallen head over heels for you. I've never loved someone like I love you."

"You're joking." You don't believe him and he smiles against your cheek, kissing you there.

The butterflies in your stomach are going crazy but you don't want him to move away. You like that he's close to you. You want him here, even if your mind is screaming over it.

"I would never let someone I didn't love see my face." He confesses to you and you swallow, not knowing how to react to that.

"That was a risk, wasn't it? What if I didn't feel the same?" You can't imagine the leap of faith he had to take to put his face out there for you to see like this.

"Does that mean you do?" He smirks and you chew on your lip, feeling exposed. "You don't have to say anything. I'm fine with this being one-sided, as long as I can get the chance to seduce you."

"Excuse me?" You raise your eyebrow at him and he gets closer to you, his lips right up against yours.

You feel every word he says against your lips, "you heard me. I'm going to seduce you into falling in love with me. So, will you let me or not?"

"H-how would I let you?" You have no fucking idea what he's on about. He's literally causing your mind to swirl uncontrollably, like you're running a marathon in your own head.

"All you have to do is lay here and stop thinking so much. Just enjoy yourself. Enjoy me helping you enjoy yourself." His hands slip beneath the shirt you're wearing and your breath hikes all of a sudden.

You haven't felt his hands on your body in so long and yet it feels like it was just yesterday that he touched you for the first time.

With every loving caress, he breathes out a command that makes your whole body tingle.

"Listen to me."

"Lose yourself in me."

"Pay attention to me."

"Let me make you mine."

When did he learn to speak in such a low, seductive tone?

You're going crazy over him…

"Din–"

He cuts you off, his lips brushing against yours. "I love the way you say my name, especially when you–"

You cut him off, screaming, "don't remind me!"

"What? Did it not feel good when you came so hard over the comm link?" He acts as if he didn't hear the entire exchange.

Of course it felt good! You haven't came that hard since…

"You're getting on my nerves." You glare at him. "Don't tease me!"

"But I like teasing you." His hands slide from your sides to your breasts, holding them firmly in his hands. Then, he drags his thumbs over your nipples and you moan out of nowhere, biting your lip to stop yourself from doing it again. "I think you like it too."

"You're annoying." You let out with a huff. "If this is you seducing me, you're doing a terrible job."

"Aww, is it because you want more already?" He taunts you and in retaliation, you lean up to bite his lip, dragging your teeth along it.

"You're the one who wants more." You call out the way he's staring at your lips afterwards.

"I do." He suddenly grinds his hips against yours and you nearly don't hold back your voice in time. "At least I'm not afraid to admit it. Have you always been bad at being honest? You wouldn't tell me you were touching yourself to my voice."

"Because I wasn't!" You exclaim.

"Sure you weren't." He rolls his eyes at you, obviously not believing you.

"I wasn't!" You repeat yourself and then try to explain, "I didn't until you–"

Wait, why are you arguing with him!

"Until I what?" He catches your slip.

"Until you told me to!" You shout back, your face getting warmer and warmer by the second. You can't believe you had to tell him that!

"Who knew you were such a good listener? I guess that suits you, since you came so hard to the sound of my–"

You shove your hands in his face, trying to shut him up. "You're seriously the worst!"

You feel him laugh against your palms before one of his hands slips out from beneath your shirt and snatches your wrists. Your eyes widen as Din pins them above your head.

Then, he leans in to whisper against your ear, "if I'm so terrible, why do you want me to touch you right now?"

His other hand slides between your legs, grazing your inner thighs. You swallow, expecting him to start touching you but he doesn't. He gets close, but then pulls away the moment he's right where you want him, making you squirm.

"Look at you, desperate for something you refuse to admit. Would it be better if I just told you to say it? Tell me what you want and I'll give it to you." He demands with that newfound dominating tone of his and you shiver, liking it way more than you thought possible. "Show me how good of a listener you really are."

"Just touch me already." You can't handle it anymore.

"Address me correctly and I will." Oh, he's really pushing you now.

"Touch me, sir." You emphasize and you've never seen such a devilish grin before, plastering itself on his face.

"You can be more polite than that." He drags his finger along your folds but way too lightly for you to actually feel anything and you fight against his hold over your wrists but he's much stronger than you. "Quit wriggling and ask me nicely."

It's so hard not to listen to him when he's being so demanding. There's such a thrill to the way he's holding you captive with his voice and his body. You want to let him take you, so you do.

"Please touch me, sir." You give in completely and he rewards you by thrusting two fingers inside of you, making you gasp.

"Now, if I remember correctly, you liked it quite a lot when I did this–" He curls his fingers at the same time as he presses his palm against your clit, rubbing both pressure points at the same time, causing you to shake. "Ah, there it is. Am I in the right place?"

"Yes, sir." You don't want him to stop for any reason, not when you're already on edge. "Please keep going."

"Should I?" He stops all of a sudden, pulling his hand away from you, and you let out a whine, feeling betrayed. "But I thought I was the worst?"

"You're not the worst." You're on the verge of tears from the sudden denial. "I didn't mean that. That's not how I really feel."

"Then, how do you really feel?" His eyes grab your attention and they're so soft and inviting.

That's why you don't hold back.

You meet his gaze with your own, confessing everything you should've a long time ago, "I want you to be mine. I have since the night we spent together, but I was scared. I knew I was your first and I didn't want to take advantage of you. That's why I never said anything. You deserve to experience more than just me. I'm…"

You look away from him for a moment, trying not to self-deprecate. You want to. You really do. You want to tell him that you're not worth this kind of affection. You want to but you can't for some reason. Not when he's looking at you like you're breaking his heart by being so harsh on yourself.

"I'm already yours." Din states firmly, his eyes shifting from soft to fiery as he pulls you back to look at him. "So, stop worrying about whether or not you deserve my love. Listen to me, like the good listener I know you are. Let me love you. Don't hold me back anymore."

"Have I been holding you back?" You don't know why you ask but you can't imagine that he's been stopping himself for your sake.

"I am at my fucking limit." He tells you and you feel the heat flushing your cheeks. "When you called me and all I could hear were those raspy breaths of yours that you were trying to hide, I wanted to leave that gunfight right then and there so I could be the reason you were out of breath. That's how much I want you."

The desire that's radiating off of him, you could almost taste it. Though, that's probably just you craving something else entirely.

Din wants you that much, so why do you keep letting your fears hold you back? Why can't you just give into him like you know you want to?

"Promise me you won't leave afterwards." You wear your heart out on your sleeve. "I don't want to do this if I'm going to be waking up alone after. I want you to stay, Din."

He gives you such a warm smile as he goes, "I never want to leave if you're letting me stay."

"Do you mean that?" You need reassurance.

"I do." He says firmly before kissing your forehead. Then, he switches back to that dominating tone of voice, "now, will you please let me make you come already?"

You let out a laugh because it reminds you of how eager he was for your orgasm over the comm link. So, you decide to tease him this time, "someone really likes giving me orgasms."

"I love making you feel good." His hand is back between your legs and you can't say you aren't grateful for it. "You're so cute when you're high off your orgasms."

"You're really irritating in bed." You comment and he laughs loudly in response.

"You won't be saying that anymore once I start doing this." His fingers slide back inside of you and your back arches at how good it feels. "See what I mean?"

"I thought you were the impatient one." You point out how he's obviously stalling.

"You're right. How rude of me." He starts to curl his fingers again, palming your clit just the way you like to be touched. "Am I doing it right?"

"Yes." You're surprised he still remembers what to do. Has Din been thinking about it?

"You can be a little more enthusiastic." He stops when he says that and you whine, gritting your teeth.

"Would you please stop doing that!" You cry out and he chuckles at your dismay.

"Sorry." He smirks, because he knows he isn't actually sorry. "I just really enjoy seeing the kind of hold I have over you."

"You have the worst hold over me." You tell him, trying to worm your way out of his tight grip to no avail. When you finally give up on your struggle, you confess to him, "I can't stop thinking about you, Din. I want you so badly."

"Tell me more." He starts moving his fingers and you get his game now.

"I want you to keep touching me, please." You outline your desires for him to hear. "I want more than this. I want all of you."

You bite back a whimper as he rubs up against that spot inside of you that drives you insane. When you feel his palm press down on your clit at the same time, you squirm a little more, feeling the tension in your body build too quickly. You feel like you're going to explode from all the edging.

"That wasn't so hard to admit, was it?" His breath tickles your face. "Now, will you come while I kiss you?"

"Yes." You tell him but then he stops again and you wish you could punch him in the face for the constant delay!

"Yes, what?" His voice is low and he's drawing you in with how sultry he's being. "You know what to say if you want it."

You hate that he's doing this to you but at the same time, it makes your heart pound immensely so you let the words spill out of your mouth, "yes, sir. I'll come while you kiss me."

"Such a good listener." He leans in then, his fingers curling back inside of you as his teeth grab a hold of your bottom lip, biting it lightly like you had earlier. "I love the need in your eyes."

"Please shut up and kiss me already." You say out of pure desperation, not being able to stand it anymore.

Din smiles warmly at you before he finally kisses you and you're practically grinding on his hand because you just need this release. He's kept you on the very edge for way too long.

You want him to have his fun but not at your expense!

"You're so mean to me." You breathe out all raspy when his lips part from yours for a moment.

"Don't pretend like you don't enjoy it." His hot breath tickles your lips quite nicely with every word. "Now, are you going to come or do I have to wait again?"

"You're the one making me wait!" If you weren't so close to your orgasm, you'd for sure headbutt him right now.

His eyes shift down to look at his hand between your legs and he goes, "oh, that's right. I should probably do something about that…"

You frown at him. "Stop bullying me and just make me come already, please."

Your words motivate him to actually touch you correctly and you moan at the feeling, grateful that he's finally giving you what you want.

"Faster." You say to him and he listens, thrusting his fingers more, hitting that spot you love so much. "Yes, just like that, don't stop. I'm begging you."

"Say my name when you come, okay?" He instructs and you nod profusely because you're already close.

You don't just say his name once, you keep saying his name over and over again because when your orgasm hits, you're an absolute mess. You can't stop convulsing from the intensity and he only makes it more pronounced by continuing a steady rhythm with his fingers. You bathe in the high of how wonderful it feels to finally get that release and he seems to enjoy it a lot too.

"This is the most beautiful sight in the whole universe." Din whispers to you, kissing your flushed cheeks as he pulls his hands away from you, freeing you from his hold. "I love the way you look like this."

You watch him as he licks his wet fingers, tasting you. You can barely think straight, your head spinning from how hard you came. That's probably why you don't notice him sliding down your body and hooking his arms around your legs.

It isn't until his tongue is on you directly that you go, "w-wait."

He stops because you tell him to and you take a moment to catch your breath. You need a second or else you're going to lose yourself in how good it feels and that's something that worries you.

You don't want to get used to feeling good…

"I'll wait as long as you want me to, but I really don't want to stop." Din starts massaging your skin lightly, pressing his fingertips into your thighs. "Will you let me keep going?"

"You're too focused on me." You don't think through your words before saying them. "I-It's not supposed to always be like when we did it the first time. You don't have to do any more for me."

He tilts his head to the side, confused. "Are you saying you aren't supposed to come multiple times?"

"That's not what I mean!" Ugh, what the fuck are you saying right now?

Are you really this afraid of feeling good?

It might just be better to be honest so you let out with a sigh, "I'm just anxious that you'll feel like you have to do this for me every time. You don't have to."

"Is it hard to believe that I want to?"

You sigh again. "I don't know. A little?"

"Why did you let me before?" Din refers back to the first time and honestly, you don't really know why it was so easy then. Maybe because you knew it was his first time so you wanted to let him do whatever and you weren't really thinking about your own pleasure. You were just a vessel for his exploration.

"I wanted you to be able to try anything since it was your first time. I wasn't really thinking about myself. I guess now that I am, it's…harder?" You aren't making much sense and you curse at yourself. "Fuck, I'm being ridiculous, I'm sorry. I just–"

A part of you is screaming to shut the fuck up and not shove more problems of yours down Din's throat but when he looks at you like he actually wants to hear what's wrong, it feels even more wrong not to open up.

That's why you explain the anxiety you've been harboring, "I've been with people who have told me that I ask for too much and that I should just be happy to get what I've got. They've said things like "oh, you're lucky you can even came once" and "why are you being so needy for more" so…I don't want to come off that way to you. I don't want you to think poorly of me, like I'm desperate to be held and touched and loved. I'm fine without it. I really am."

Though, now that you've said the words aloud, you realize how…forced it sounds. You have to be strong. When you aren't, people find ways to break you down. You need to prevent that from happening which is why you close up like this.

"Just because you're fine without it doesn't mean you can't also want it too." He sounds like he's speaking in a whole different tongue when he says, "you have every right to want what you want and if anyone decides against giving you that, that's not your fault for wanting it in the first place. You shouldn't want less just because someone else doesn't want to give more. It's not fair to you to limit yourself like that."

Are you limiting yourself? You are constantly living in fear that you'll be too much, that you'll drive someone away if you're not exactly who they want you to be.

That's really not a way to live, is it?

"How do I stop thinking like this?" You ask, hoping he has the answer.

He doesn't have an answer. Instead, he has a command, "from here on out, just let things happen. Stop trying to prevent things that haven't even happened yet. Stop worrying about things that might not ever come to fruition. Stop stalling and let me go down on you, please."

You laugh because you realize you've both been having this conversation with Din's face between your legs. He brushes his hair back a little, letting you see the way the curls lay softly on his head. You're eager to mess it up, to get your hand in there.

Is it okay to do that? Is it really okay to just…not worry for a moment?

Or ever?

Can you go with the flow for right now?

You want to try, so you say, "fine, as long as you know you don't need to. You can do it if you really want to. I don't ever want to force you to do anything for me."

"And here I am, wishing you'd force me to do more." He chuckles and you roll your eyes at him.

"You shouldn't say those kinds of things, Din." You lightly scold him because you don't want anyone to ever take advantage of his warmth. "No one should ever force you to do anything."

"You're sweeter than you like to admit." He tells you before you feel his tongue against you again, stealing your breath away. "In more ways than one."

"You are such a bad flirt." You say with an amused smile, your hand finding its way into his hair.

"I'm learning." He uses his inexperience as an excuse and you chuckle at how cute he is. "I think I'm doing a pretty good job seducing you though."

"Yeah? You think so?" You wonder where he got that thought from.

"Why else would you be so ready for me to keep going?" He taps the hand you have in his hair and you feel the heat rush through your body again in response. "Pull on my hair when I'm doing something right. I need practice, after all."

Practice. That's what he's calling this. Even though he remembers exactly how to use his tongue to make you lay back and tug at his hair.

You can't help asking, "do you think about it? The other time we've done this?"

He stops for a moment to answer, "I do. Why?"

"You seem to remember a lot." You note and you feel him smile against your inner thigh.

"I think you're the one forgetting how much time I spent figuring out all the ways I could make you come." He calls you out and you realize…that's…actually true.

Din did spend an awfully long time paying very close attention to you. You didn't think much of it. Though, that most likely was because you were so out of it from all the orgasms, you didn't notice how much time had passed.

"I wish I could see you like that again." He remarks.

You raise your eyebrow at him. "Like what?"

"You were in such a daze from how good it felt that you were just telling me what to do after a while and every time I listened, you had this happy look on your face. It was so peaceful, full of delight."

You can't believe what he's saying. Did you really boss him around like that? You must've been seriously out of your mind.

"I want to see you like that again, so don't bother me anymore. I'm busy." His words make you scoff as he gets back to what he was doing before.

You find yourself closing your eyes, focusing on the way it feels to have him back between your legs. It's like your body remembers how he could make you feel. His tongue glides along with such precision, swirling around your clit at just the right times before dipping away inside of you.

Once you've came from that, Din adds his fingers into the mix, filling you up like he had earlier. Your grip in his hair only gets tighter as your hips start to grind against his face. You shouldn't, but you stop thinking like that.

For once, you let yourself enjoy life a little. You can't keep avoiding pleasure because you're afraid of the aftermath. You'll be okay.

You allow yourself to unravel at his touch again and then you poke at him to stop for a moment, so you can get the reassurance you desire to quell the thoughts pummeling your mind.

"Tell me everything's going to be okay." You ask Din because you need to hear it from him. "Tell me it's okay to drown in you right now."

"Listen to me carefully." He instructs and you're all ears. "Everything's going to be okay. I want you to drown in me, in us. Let's feel good together, okay?"

"Okay." You nod so he shifts to lay beside you once again.

"How do you want me?" Din wants you to pick and your eyes shift downwards, seeing how hard he is through his pants.

There's one way you want him so you answer, "in my mouth."

"Oh." He's taken back by what you said. "Well, in that case, why don't we do it at the same time?"

"But you were just–"

"So?" He interjects before you can argue with him. "I still want more."

You don't have the energy to talk back because you'll need to save your strength to go down on him so you tell him, "just hurry up and lay on your back."

"How about you hurry up and sit on my face?" He smirks and you shove him onto his back.

"Alright." You smirk back and he looks so happy that you're being more playful now.

"Such a good listener." He coos at you mockingly and you shut him up by straddling his face.

"Stop talking and focus on making me come again." You demand and he's very willing to listen.

You regret it slightly because now his lips are wrapped around your clit, sucking on it lightly while you're supposed to be pulling him out of his pants. He's definitely distracting but you push through, getting his cock out.

Is he…bigger than you remember? Your thoughts of that night are fairly hazy but you remember going down on him. He was really shy about it but that doesn't seem like the case anymore.

When did he gain the type of confidence to go, "are you going to put my cock in your mouth or are you just going to stare at it?"

"When did you get so pushy?" You say right before dragging your tongue along the length of his cock, trying to remember the feeling of him in your mouth.

"I've discovered that you like being bossed around." He notes as he slips his fingers inside of you, your legs wobbling a little in response. You have to hold yourself up but fuck, he's not making it easy.

"When did you discover that you liked being in control?" You wonder what triggered that shift in him.

"Probably when you called me "sir". I quite liked that." You can hear the smile in his voice and you smile too.

In a weird way, you like how comfortable you and Din are. Normally sex is very dry and there isn't much banter or lighthearted moments. It's nice to be able to talk like this, even when you're about to be stuffing his cock down your throat.

"Tell me what you want me to do then, sir." You push his buttons a little and you suddenly feel his hand on your head.

"Wrap your lips around my cock." He commands and you listen without hesitation. "What a good listener you are. Now, don't gag."

You're caught off guard when he grabs a fistful of your hair and shoves you right down onto him, filling your mouth up with his cock. It hits the back of your throat almost immediately and you try not to choke on it.

Thankfully, Din pulls you up for air and asks rather sweetly, "are you alright? I didn't mean to be too aggressive."

"I'm great." You say as you lick the saliva dripping off your lips. "I liked that a lot."

"Really? Can I do it again?" You like how excited he sounds.

"Only if I get to look at you while you do." You really want to see his reactions.

"Then you better flip around and sit on my face properly first." He tugs at your legs, urging you to hurry up.

You quickly get off him and readjust until you've got quite the view of Din's face right below you. Your hands immediately grab a hold of your bed frame because he does not waste any time. His tongue goes straight for your clit before you can even process the sight of him between your legs like this. You tremble at the feeling of him flicking it back and forth with the tip of his tongue.

"You're moving too much." Din grips his hands against your thighs, squeezing them to steady you. "Be a good listener and stay fucking still."

"I'm going to come too quickly if you do that." You can already tell you're going to burst if he keeps up that pace.

"You shouldn't have told me that. Now, I only want to do it more." He goes right back to paying close attention to your clit.

You've grown much too sensitive from the orgasms earlier that you're practically clawing at your bed frame to keep yourself from completely going insane. It doesn't help that you enjoy the way his fingers are pressing so harshly into the flesh of your thighs to hold you in place for him to ravage you. You like feeling how strong he is.

"Fuck," you let out with a whimper, "I can't keep it in anymore. It's too much."

You lean forward, resting your forehead against the back of your hands. It doesn't take much longer for you to orgasm, your body quivering from the rough treatment of his tongue. You're hit with such a rush, flooding your mind with stars. The only thing you can really parse out is the sound of Din licking up your orgasm like he's making sure to taste every bit of it.

"I could do that all day." He says before kissing your thighs gently. "Was it good?"

"So good." You breathe out all airy. "You make me feel amazing, Din."

You need a moment to rest so you roll over onto your back, taking in sharp inhales to slow your rapid heartbeat. Din takes the opportunity to get on top of you and soon enough, his lips are on yours. You welcome it, lacing your fingers into his hair, pulling him in closer.

His hard cock rubs up against you as you both kiss and you moan against his lips at the feeling, still sensitive from having just came. He likes the sound you make because he goes, "I love it when you do that. I want to fuck you while we kiss, just like this."

"You can." You offer, your hand slipping down to stroke his cock teasingly for a moment.

"Let me grab some protection then." Din leans over to your bedside drawer but you stop him, taking a hold of his wrist. He looks down at your hand and asks, "what's wrong?"

"I don't have any. We went through it all last time and I haven't gotten anymore."

Plus, you really don't want him to see all the snacks you've stuffed in there to fill the void of your lack of protection…

"Oh fuck." He seems panicked all of a sudden. "I don't want to pressure you. It's unsafe."

"It's okay, Din." You explain so he doesn't worry, "I'll be okay, I have an implant, it's perfectly safe."

"Are you sure? I can go out and get some." His words make you laugh.

"A Mandalorian buying protection? Now that's a sight I'd pay to see." You like how much he cares. It's so sweet and adorable.

"Are you making fun of me?" He glares at you.

"I am." You don't even hide it. "What are you going to do about it?"

"You're just asking to get fucked, aren't you?" He flips into that more dominant tone and you shiver in excitement. "Do you want me to fuck you raw, like an animal?"

"It looks like you're the one who wants it." You point down to his throbbing cock pressed right up against your entrance.

"Give me a clear answer and remember to address me properly." He demands, his eyes staring directly into yours. "Do you want me to fuck you raw, yes or no?"

"Yes, sir." You bite your lip in anticipation.

You've wanted this since the last time and it's actually happening now. You're going to feel all of him, as clear as day.

Din slips the tip inside of you for a moment, only to pull out before he gets any deeper, making you whine. He knows what he's doing. He wants you on edge. He wants you to beg for it.

"You need to get better at telling me exactly what you want." He rubs his cock between your folds, the wet sounds filling the air.

"Please fuck me." You're growing more desperate by the second.

"How?" He wants your guidance, like the last time. You had shown him several different ways, from gentle to rough.

He's letting you choose so you go, "slow but I want you hitting deep inside of me with every stroke."

Din smiles at you, liking your answer. "I'll be a good listener, just like you."

You roll your eyes at him for making such a lame joke but then you can't help smiling back at him, saying, "thank you for answering my call yesterday. You really are a good listener."

"Anytime." His hand reaches out, caressing your cheek before pinching it, pulling a groan out of you. He chuckles then tells you, "now, quit distracting me. I'd very much like to continue."

"You're the one making me wait!" You pout and he immediately steals a kiss on your lips. You grin rather giddily in response. It's nice being casually kissed by him.

"You're so fucking cute when you're happy." Din grabs a hold of your face with his hands, deepening the kiss.

You take the initiative because he's obviously going to keep stalling, so you sneak your hand back down and guide him back to your entrance, adjusting until you can slide him inside of you. All the while, his tongue is wrapped around yours and that combined with him slowly inching deeper inside of you is absolute bliss. Your hands move back into his hair, playing with it between your fingers as you both get closer and closer together.

You tug at his curls when he's all the way in, pressing right up where you want him to be. He thinks that's a sign to part from your lips so he asks with a heavy breath, "do you want me to stop kissing you?"

You shake your head. "I want you to start moving."

"Are you that eager to come on my cock?" He toys with you a little and you're this close to smacking him.

Instead, you let out in a sickeningly sweet tone, "yes, sir. I'm so eager to come on your cock."

"Someone's being bad." The disapproval is written in his stare.

You pretend like you have no clue what he's talking about. "I'm being serious, I'm so needy for you."

Din suddenly pounds into you and you flinch at the feeling of him hitting you so deep with such force. "Whoops, didn't mean to do that."

"You're such a liar." You call him out and he acts as aloof as you were.

"If I'm a liar, what does that make you?" He thrusts into you roughly again after he says that, forcing you to grip the sheets to hold yourself steady. "Why do you look so distressed? I thought you wanted to come on my cock."

"I said I wanted you to go slow." You remind him of what you said.

"You did say that, but I'm pretty sure you were lying because I remember how easily you came when I just kept doing this–" He starts fucking you hard with long, thorough strokes that slam into you all too much, all too quickly and you're whimpering uncontrollably, trying to stop yourself from coming all of a sudden but he's really dragging you to the edge.

"Din, you're going too fast." You can't possibly hold onto the sheets anymore than you're already clawing at them. "I can't–I can't handle it, please–"

"Use your words." He doesn't stop ramming into you as he says, "what do you want me to do?"

You're losing it. You can't think straight. You're way too close. You forgot how big he was and how easily he could rub every sensitive spot buried inside of you with every demanding thrust.

Your eyes roll back when you tell him, "angle yourself upwards just a little more and don't stop fucking me, please."

Din listens to exactly what you want, shifting slightly to accommodate your request. You come almost immediately after that. It's indescribable, how perfect his strokes are. He really does remember what you like because he keeps going, fucking you through your orgasm, knowing you'll easily come again if he does.

"Kiss me." You release your hands from the sheets to grab a hold of his face, pulling him towards you.

Your lips collide with his and he kisses you back right away. The kisses are sloppy because you're high out of your mind from how good it feels but his smile against your lips makes you love it even more.

"You're so tight around me." He sighs against your lips. "I'm going to come soon. Should I pull out?"

"Don't you fucking dare." You're a bit too greedy now, unable to hold it in.

Din laughs that lovely chuckle of his and goes, "you're so beautiful when you're honest."

If that's true, then maybe it's okay to say, "you make me feel so good. I never want this to end."

"Don't worry, this is just the beginning. You aren't the only one who gets to come more than once tonight." He makes that promise and you couldn't be more excited to feel him finish inside of you over and over again.

You pull him in and kiss him like you've wanted to. You spill your desire for him out in every movement, every plea, every orgasm and Din happily goes along with you, enjoying every second of your shared time together.

It isn't until you're on the brink of passing out from how lightheaded you are from all the orgasms that you and Din decide to take a break to refuel a bit. You both share a nice shower and then you tell him about how you've stuffed all the snacks you have in your bedside drawers, a fact that he finds rather endearing.

"That's very convenient." He catches the bag of vegetable crisps you throw at him with ease.

You settle back beside him after grabbing some water and he pulls you closer so you're resting your head against his shoulder as you both sit up in your bed, sharing snacks. It's not all that surprising, but Din hasn't ever tried any of them before so you take the time to open everything you have so he can taste test everything.

"I didn't even know this many snacks exist in the galaxy." He picks randomly at the pile of assorted bags and boxes you have laying out on the bed.

"This is barely the tip of the iceberg. If you want, I can get some other ones for you to try next time." You will have to restock anyways.

"I'd like that." He turns to you and gives you a light peck on the cheek. You feel the heat rise to your face as he says, "I like trying new things with you."

"I like it too." You quickly kiss him on the lips before turning away, your heart racing at a million miles a second. "I've always wanted to do that."

"What else have you always wanted to do?" Din's hand grabs your chin, making you face him, his eyes staring back at you with that intense desire once again.

You lean in and whisper as seductively as you can, "I've always wanted to fuck on a pile of snacks."

You let out a big laugh at your own joke and he shakes his head at you, but a smile forms on his face. "I like this side of you. You seem more comfortable now."

"You make it easy to be comfortable." You lay your head back on his shoulder and he puts his arm around you, hugging you lightly like this. "Thank you for everything you've done for me."

"Sounds like I've successfully seduced you." He smirks rather proudly.

"You're going to need a lot more practice before you get anywhere close to seducing me." You challenge him and he perks up at the proposition.

"Does that mean we can get back to it or should I move the snacks out of the way first?" He playfully asks and you love how easily he makes you smile now.

"You know…there is a guest room." You make an excuse to avoid cleaning up all the snacks.

"Then, how about you go get comfy over there and I'll meet you once I've cleaned up for us?" He nudges you to get up but you feel bad that he's offering to put everything away for you.

"No, it's okay, I got it." You reach for the stuff closest to you but he grabs your wrist before you can take it.

"I said, go wait for me in the guest room." His voice shifts back to that demanding tone. "I want you to relax. I've got it handled, alright?"

You want to protest but…you need to learn that it's okay to let someone help. That's what you wanted. Din is willing to take care of you so you need to let him.

So, you give him a soft smile and then say, "yes, sir."

"I knew you were a good listener." He tells you with a gentle pat on the head. "I'll be sure to fuck you extra well as a reward."

You roll your eyes at him, shoving him before getting up to leave. "You're seriously a terrible flirt."

"And you love it!" He shouts at you as you make your exit and you shake your head at his words.

He's right though.

You really do love it.

Maybe Din has seduced you into falling in love with him…though, he wouldn't even need to. You're already his and you couldn't be happier about that.

A/N: Yay, a cute fluff/comfort oneshot! I've always wanted to write a more playful Din so I experimented with that in this one. I very much enjoy smut that's filled with banter and just overall relaxing vibes because sex doesn't always have to be hot and heavy. Sometimes it's just nice to joke around and have a good time so please let me know if you enjoyed the read! ~ ♡

If you want to read more of my work, be sure to check out my other oneshots, I’ll Take Care of You, Let Me Help You & A Simple White Lie and/or my series, What Color Am I? & Lesson Learned

#din djarin x reader #din djarin smut #the mandalorian x reader #the mandalorian fanfiction #the mandalorian smut

[captainkingsley]

Mollymauk knows it's a long shot. Hell, it's probably a shorter shot to throw his scimitars to Tal'dorei — but he knows he'll never forgive himself if he doesn't ask. There will always be a part of him that will nag at the back of his thoughts if he doesn't say something.

(And Yasha will nag him, too. Which is probably worse, because he can't disappoint Yasha.)

So he breathes deep, runs his hands over his hair, and stares at the mirror for just a moment longer. 

"Alright, Tealeaf. You can do this. You've only been friends through near apocalyptic catastrophe — this won't affect you or your friendship if he says no." He says, now gripping the edge of the sink. It's a rather nice looking sink, actually, but that's to be expected in Rexxentrum. Not the basins or tubs of smaller towns, but proper water service running through the city, and yes, he knows he's stalling thinking of running water versus still basins of water, but he's itchy with anxiety.

Mollymauk breathes deep, pulling his coat on once more — not the old coat, that had been ripped and turned into a blanket by Yasha, since she knew just how important it was to him — and he inspects himself once more. 

He's grown. His hair has grown out, closer to how he'd had it before he'd met the Nein. He's added a couple more tattoos, one visible from the open collar of his new, silky blue shirt, a peek of vibrant lines of a tree branch extending up from his ribcage and onto his pectoral muscle opposite the peacock. Some of it seems to glitter in the light thanks to Orly's handiwork. Molly thinks it looks rather nice with the rest of his ink, and he hopes everyone else does, too.

One person in particular. 

He fiddles with his sleeves, picks at his fingernails for a moment before turning with a new determination to the door. 

Say it now while you've got the chance, he tells himself. 

The rest of the Nein are beginning to head up to the room where Caleb has set up the tower for the night. The last few remaining are Yasha, Veth, and Caleb — Yasha meets Molly's eyes and seems to read him immediately, giving him the shortest smile and a nod of encouragement before she begins to head up.

"Veth, you should come with me," Yasha says, "I have something to show you."

Oh, Moonweaver bless you, Yasha, Molly thinks. 

Veth asks what it is Yasha wants, but Yasha simply stammers through some excuses as she encourages Veth to follow. Once they've both disappeared up the stairs, Molly finds his pulse quickening. 

It's been quite some time traveling together. Caleb looks tired, but he also looks accomplished, happy, healthier than he had in the beginning. Molly finds that the most attractive part of him, these days, that he looks like he's happy with himself. Confidence, newfound steadiness in himself. 

He thinks back to the things they've done, the risks they've taken for each other. How many fights had turned to Mollymauk diving in front of Caleb to take a hit, to defend him from something that would easily cut through Caleb's coat, and in turn his body?

Caleb seems to be reading Mollymauk in return, but what he's thinking, Molly can't tell. He's too scared to imagine what he's thinking of. 

So instead he avoids eye contact, rubbing the back of his neck.��

"It's been a journey," Molly says, watching as Caleb collects his things from the table. 

"It has." Caleb says, sounding level and noncommittal. "We've come a long way from hunting demon toads."

"Devil toads," Molly corrects, and he watches the corner of Caleb's lips turn upward in a smile. 

"Devil toads. Yes." Caleb says. "You seem like you have a question?"

"I… I do, actually, yes." Mollymauk says. He rubs his hands together anxiously, thinking for a moment that if he were a cricket he would be the noisiest one alive, swiped up by a predatory bird faster than he can comprehend. 

But he's just a tiefling in a tavern with a good friend, hoping not to embarrass himself. 

"I was actually wondering… Now that we're, you know, some of us are splitting ways, some are going with each other," he thinks of Beau and Yasha. "I was wondering where you plan to end up?"

Caleb hums. 

"I was thinking just outside of the city," Caleb says. "Any particular reason to ask?"

"Well," Molly says, drawing the word out. "You know, I was with the circus, and that's… not an option any longer. And while sure, sure, Lucien had family I could track down, it seems a bit rude to pursue that, gods only know if they'd want anything to do with me, so…"

Caleb says nothing. He only stares at Mollymauk with a raised brow. 

"... And Yasha and Beau are definitely going to have their own thing going on, so I was thinking maybe I could, you know, stick around town, find a spot around here, and maybe…"

Gods, when did his palms get so sweaty?

Is he shaking?

Why is asking this so much harder than propositioning a stranger?

(They've only risked their lives for each other, been through hell and back, torn down a near demigod to keep each other safe. Normal bonds of friendship.)

"I'd like to see you now and then, now that things are settling down, and I was wondering how you'd feel about…"

Caleb's watching him so closely now. Mollymauk feels his face burning. 

"Mollymauk." Caleb says. Molly stops in his stammering. 

"Yeah?" He says, his voice more a squeak than a vocalization. 

"Are you asking me on a date?"

Molly finds that the wood grain of the floor sort of looks like a dragon from this angle. 

He swallows. 

"Yes?" He says, not looking up. 

"I think, well. We are definitely at a good place to think about these things," Caleb says, "Though I do plan to take some students, and to chase down the remaining evidence of the Assembly and their actions…" 

"I'm flexible," Molly says, and then he pauses. Don't make him uncomfortable. "My schedule is flexible. I'm sorry. Didn't mean —"

"I think, perhaps, it would be nice to see how flexible you are, Mollymauk Tealeaf." Caleb laughs, and Molly finds himself taken aback. 

"You—" he starts, then laughs in return. "Caleb?"

He gets only a smile in return. 

And oh, what a smile it is. Mollymauk feels his knees go a little weak, finds laughter bubbling in the back of his throat as Caleb ushers him forward for a hug, arms wrapping around him. When he pulls away, he feels hands on his shoulders,

lips against his forehead. 

Mollymauk says nothing, but he smiles.

A return gesture, a promise of more. 

It's not quite love yet, he thinks, but it's a start. 

An ending to one story and the first page of another. 

#widomauk #rly feeling the slow burn post campaign Molly lives au stuff recently #and some alternate storyline ideas but I'm not digging into those. i am sleepy and this is unedited but it's a Drabble

[bubblepopsims]

Days Past since Ruby saw Tobias. Thankfully it was because Tobias was off to a tattoo convention for a few days. Leaving her with time to figure out her mind (push it off) after discovering from not just one but three tests that she most definitely is, pregnant. Yes.

Still unable to figure out how to tell him and actually admit it to herself as well. Ruby was continuing to stay in a stage of Denial.. no matter how mad the morning sickness was getting, how her tits hurt even when just putting on a shirt or how she now was crying at food commercials... she was making excuses for everything.

But at least she cleaned her house... excessively...

R: "oh oh wait! i got this!!!"

R: "HA! YES! Seee i am still good at this !!! its okay dearest brother i am just better."

R: "whooppsss...... NO YOU DIDNT SEE THAT! MY FINGER SLIPPED!!!"

Ruby laughed only to swallow hard when that familiar feeling settled in her stomach and started to move up to her chest. "Shit..." R: "hey can we resume in a bit i forgot i needed to do something!." R: "yes yes, Tobias is coming straight here... mhm -swallows hard again trying to not rush, BUT rush- okay. okay!"

Once Josiah disconnected Ruby dropped everything and rushed to the bathroom for another round of morning sickness. It was becoming worse by the day and the more it happened the more it sent Ruby spiraling. This morning in particular.

Now sitting on the floor in front of the toilet, shielding herself from the wall that were caving down on her in her head. if she had found out months ago that she was pregnant... it would have already been taken care of. But things have changed, her feelings have changed. she didn't know if it had to do with the hormones. But after her last encounter with Tobias, she believed things to be different. it felt different. She actually saw a new beginning outside of her career. But what if Tobias ended up resenting her .. or stating that she is attempting to ruin his life.. what if the choice was to get an abortion...would he agree? would he be sad? hate her? She didn't know and that worried her. scared her. "What the fuck am i going to do.... what the fuck am i going to do.."

"Do i want a Kid now?… am I ready to put a pause to my career, my time, my space… do I really see myself with Tobias that long? To have his kid? Be committed for I don’t know… a fucking Lifetime because of this fetus.. and what if I got an abortion… would he be sad? Angry?disgusted? Wait do I really think he would be disgusted…… no. No. No? Right. Oh god oh god" that was growing inside of her. the anxiety was getting to her head and making her quite frankly even more sick than she already was. she just told Tobias she loved him and now she is pregnant?

“I been so fucking reckless letting him just… just… mmmm yeah no I really can’t be mad about it…. But that’s why I got this fucking stick in my fucking arm, and for the most part I swallow thank you very much.. so how the hell.. wait” R: "wait. i couldn't have gotten pregnant overnight.... shit... how... how fucking long have i been pregnant??" R:"Oh my god this is just getting worse and worse"

“I don’t want to tellllll himmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm- huh? shit!" a knock to the door startled her, not realizing what time it was exactly. and than it came again only now a singing of her name by the one person she wanted to see but also avoid. Forgetting that Tobias was coming straight here once he got back into town.

“He can wait singing like that ahahah…. Plus I need to mouth wash or something….”

Previous - next

#ts4 simblr #ts4 #ts4 screenshots #ts4 story #the tribe #sims 4 #my sims #oc:ruby

[skye-huntress]

The Witch from Mercury Reaction

Episode 11: “The Witches from Earth”

I was a little wired during this episode so I made not time to stop and take notes. So now I’m going to try to remember everything bit by bit and it’s not going to be in any particular order

First, from now on the Jeturk son’s name is Bob. I accept no criticism

Speaking of Bob, it is safe to say he is the official punching bag of the show. We could compile a lengthy list of the number of times he has been owned and we’re not even halfway through the show

There was a lot of talk since the last episode about how the big miscommunication came about, and someone mentioned something I hadn’t consider. Suletta evaluates her own worth to how useful she can be to other people. When you give her a job you say no one else can do but her, that makes her feel happy and valued. Take that away from her, make her feel like she’s replaceable and she loses all confidence in herself and feels a constant need to prove her worth. The worst part, the more nervous she is, the more prone she is to make a mistake, which in turn further fuels her anxiety in a vicious cycle.

So all of Earth House and even their animals (and Belmeria) are along for the ride. Now that I have a chance to think about it, that’s actually extremely worrying. I’m not worried for Suletta or Miorine losing their lives, but the rest of Earth House is a long list of expendable characters.

I’m still very disappointed in Nika, but at least she has a bit more awareness with what is going on with Suletta, and the likely cause of it

In a surprising twist, Prospera chooses now to act like a decent mother to Suletta.

I have to wonder, both Miorine and Suletta have used the toilet to hide from people. Either it’s something they just happen to have in common, or maybe Suletta picked up a bad habit from her bride. The thought is both sweet and unsettling at the same time. And hey, Miorine did find her there on her own.

I enjoyed the chase, even though both our girls were having a hard time. I sort of feel like I should be disturbed by Miorine using such an underhanded tactic, however I can’t help but respect that it was both clever (she had me fooled) and, unfortunately, very necessary.

Suletta, true to her nature, spent much of her “explanation” rambling incoherently about things Miorine couldn’t understand without the proper context but somewhere along the way she picked up the general message. Miorine herself is not much better with all her contradicting statements, like how she wanted to run away from father, and now can’t and has to face him regularly and that’s the fault of thanks to Suletta. I’m glad they got some of their issues sorted out and now have a clearer idea of how the other feels about them, just in time for them to fall victim to a terrorist attack

The mystery of Prospera’s schemes deepens. She straight up uses her true name in front of Delling and appears to be using data from Aerial to assist in Delling’s super secret project. Prospera is hellbent on revenge according to the short novel, but we do not know what form it will take.

It’s interesting to see the pilot from the prologue make an appearance. He seemed formidable as a pilot, but now I’m not sure what he is supposed to be.

Jeturk continues to play his games. Unfortunately for him, he forgot something very important, you can’t trust a traitor. Anyone willing to help you stab someone else in the back is just as capable of turning the blade on you.

Speaking of traitors, that’s a good shot of Nico realising the consequences of her actions. She is now complicit in terrorism, and if anything happens to any member of Earth House, it will be partly on her head.

So, these witches. Seems one of them, Sophie, has taken a personal interest in Suletta. She seems like the wild card of the bunch so it’s up in the air whether this is better or worse for Suletta.

All that said, since Suletta and Miorine are communicating again, I’m more confident that they will end up working together to get themselves out of this crisis.

The real question is, can Bob break his losing streak?! A thought just occurred to me. If the terrorists are using Jeturk suits, Bob could probably hijack one and pilot it better than most could.

That’s probably not everything but it’s late and I’m at my limit. Another 2 weeks, was it?

Edit: I forgot the damn keychains! Miorine was really like: “this looks lame, cheap and ugly, no one with give this to me but you, which is exactly why it is now my most cherished possession”. That is exactly the reaction I was expecting.

#the witch from mercury #g witch #g witch spoilers

[sodiumlamp]

Picard

I hate this show so much.

It's not that bad, I guess. I've said before, the actors are talented, and the production values are generally pretty impressive. You can tell a lot of work went into this. It's not like they just put a hand puppet on the screen and had him go "Herpy-derp I am the Picard! Watch me make poopie!" We're a long way from rock bottom.

But it's still really unsatisfying to watch this thing. I find myself thinking of all the "bad" Trek episodes I've seen in the past, and pretty much all of them would be more fun to watch than this. Quark impersonating his mother? Better than Picard. Dr. Crusher fucks a candle ghost? Better than Picard. Warp 10 Humanders? Not even a question, that episode kicked ass. I mean, it was really stupid, but the real worst episode of Voyager was "Retrospect". Still, both of those were better than Picard.

Let's branch out a little. Dragon Ball GT? Better than Picard. The Proposal? Yeesh, that's a close one. No, Betty White was in that. Still better than Picard. Hocus Pocus? I mean, it's shorter than Picard. I'm trying to think of something objectively worse than watching this show, and I think I'm having to dip into just bad life experiences, like getting dumped or being unemployed.

Let me try to get to this particular episode. It's S2E5, "Watcher". They call it that because the Borg Queen advised Picard to locate a "watcher" who was a potential ally in the mission to fix time. Picard found her last episode, but she's actually a "supervisor" like Gary Seven from the TOS episode. See, we're doing callbacks to Gary fucking Seven here, but this show still can't figure out why Picard and Guinan don't remember meeting in 1893.

I don't think they ever named this "supervisor" character. They should call her "Gary Eight" because fuck it. Anyway, her job is to shepherd the career of astronaut Renee Picard, who's due to go on a spaceflight, but she's got the same anxiety/depression that everyone in 2024 has. Also everyone in 2401 has it too, so time is a flat circle.

Renee's therapist, Q, is trying to talk her out of going on the mission, so Picard's like "Aha! That's just the sort of trick that asshole likes to play." Except no it isn't, he's the one who showed Picard the altered timeline and gave him the opportunity to go back and try to fix it. Why would he be the one trying to fuck things up?

Apparently Q's powers don't work right now, so he does a side plan where he contacts Noonien Soong's ancestor and cures his daughter's comic book mutation to save her life. In exchange he wants Soong's help to do... something. I don't even feel like speculating. This show just drains all the enthusiasm right out of me.

There's a lot of doubles in this show. The Watcher/Supervisor/Gary Eight looks like Laris, but without the Romulan ears. This is never explained. When Raffi and Seven save Rios from ICE, there's an Elnor lookalike on the bus with Rios. This is never explained. The Soong ancestors look exactly like Alton Soong and Soji from Season 1. This... kind of makes sense, but there was no reason to have them be the Soongs. If Brent Spiner wanted to be in the show so damn badly he shouldn't keep asking the writers to kill him off.

None of this crap matters. They could have jumped straight from Episode 2 to Episode 6 and it would have been fine. Picard goes straight to the Watcher to find out about Renee, and they can just skip the bit with Jurati merging with the Borg Queen, since I'm pretty sure that won't amount to anything anyway.

#mike watches picard #sheer fucking hubris

[mental-health-advice]

I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over 5 years. He is absolutely everything to me and we’re definitely planning on getting married in the future. The problem I’m facing is that he has enlisted in the US Navy and is also going for an officer position, so he’s going to be gone for five months for boot camp/training. The longest I’ve been away from him since we started dating was a little over a month when I was on a study abroad trip, and even then I was still able to text him every day. I’ve joked with someone people that he’s “90% of my mental stability” but it’s mostly true. My anxiety and depression has gotten much worse within the last 1-2 years (due to the pandemic, academics, etc) and I’ve always relied on him to help me through and to make me happy even if it’s just for a few hours. I’m absolutely terrified of what’s going to happen when he leaves. Obviously he won’t be able to have his phone readily available and I’m not sure how often (or if any) visits are allowed. I honestly don’t really have friends that I can turn to. I have a good relationship with my family but I also don’t really like to share my problems (that’s a whole other issue). He’s leaving in March and will be gone through August. I just don’t know how to get through those five months without slipping back down into the hole I’ve been trying to crawl out of.

Hey there,

This must be a really difficult time for you. It can be so hard when someone we love so much is going away (for whatever reason) and especially when they have been our rock.

I know it can be difficult to lean on others and confide in others for support like family members (I’m the same) but have you ever thought about maybe seeing a therapist or a counsellor, someone neutral you can talk to confidentially who won’t judge you? Yes, talking to someone you don’t know can be hard, but it can also be easier in a sense as they don’t know you or anything unless you tell them which gives you the power. Is this something you feel might be helpful for you (therapy) whilst your boyfriend is away or possibly for longer if it helps and you get benefits from it? We have a link on getting help here and how you can go about getting some support and that kind of thing. Of course, you can also always contact a counsellor via a helpline or on web counselling at any time if this is easier for you and especially if you need to talk to someone straight away.

It might also be helpful to remind yourself of how far you have come in your recovery and life in general. Your mental health is not dependent on another person being there for you or not even though it may feel like it so I would encourage you to think back to those times when you have gotten through struggles by yourself, or even with the slight help by your boyfriend – it can sometimes help to remember what someone may do to help you in a particular situation if they are not presently there for you, almost as if they are there even though they are not. Does that make sense?

I really hope that this has helped a bit and please do let us know if we can help to support you in any other way!

I’m thinking of you, hope you’re going OK and I know you can get through this whilst your boyfriend is away – you are so much stronger than you think!

Take care,

Lauren

#mha-lauren #advice #advice blog #mental health advice #anonymous #boyfriend #going away #US navy #getting support

[willowwhispersspeakeasy]

Can i request a MC with the dateables who is an insomniac? I got my insomnia from ✨trauma✨ so if you could add something like that as well, it'd be cool :D

Or an MC who suffers with C-PTSD and sometimes tends to disassociate or deal with flashbacks that makes them shut down and become nonchalant? Mine ended up making me pretty indifferent and apathetic but it's all up to you as there's alot of ways to interpret it!

hey anon! I wanted to say id be more then happy to write you some reactions for an mc w/ C-PTSD just please send another ask since I can only really do one request per ask! 

OM! Dateables w/ insomniac MC

warnings: gender neutral reader, mentions of trauma

Diavolo

Dia is worried for your health of course. humans need more sleep then demons and seeing as you often sleep less then even him he can get worried. 

he will ask about it, rather then just offering random solutions he will be curious to know what's caused your insomnia. 

if it is related to an anxiety or other nerodivergents hes kind and understanding, continuing to ask questions to try and pinpoint the cause

if it is caused by a trauma he is much more concerned. its perfectly natural to be upset after someone you love and care about admits past trauma to you. 

if you feel safer and better able to sleep with him around he will not hesitate to bring you to the castle so he can be your “protecter” 

if you have a trigger relating to any trauma (or in general) he will be particularly careful about it, purposely steering you away from situations that might cause it whenever he can

Barbatos

Barb may commit the sin of “have you tried this tea?” or “I've heard melatonin does wonders” or “you should stop drinking caffeine it'll only make it worse”

he means well, hes a provider and caretaker type by nature. he also doesn’t feel its his place to ask for more details, he doesn't was to push on your privacy.

if you explain its anxiety or nerodivergent related he will offer more particular solutions in hopes of helping

if it is trauma related he will pause, asking if you want his help. the last thing he wants to do is become pushy and make it worse.

Barb can become a bit of a mother hen around his loved ones and that applies very much to mc

if you want him to stop he’ll stop. he just has a hard time showing his love without providing or fixing something

Solomon

hello fellow insomniac. Solomon hasn’t had a full nights rest in 100 years.

the thing with him is, sure all the guys have seen war and famine and plague, but Solomon has lived it. 

if you want to try and sleep he will offer the solutions he’s used over the years. spells and potions and all sorts of tokens. 

if not, he’s happy to stay up with you. talk about whatever you want, help you with homework, or you can help him with spells hes working on

if your insomnia is caused by trauma hes going to ask you to tell him, whatever you are willing to. 

one day very late into the night (or rather early in the morning) the pair of you will probably have a heart to heart where he tells you of his own PTSD and anxieties in exchange for yours. 

Simeon

oh this gentle angel is very saddened at this. his darling human is plagued with the inability to sleep? but you need your rest dove, please let him help won't you?

he has been a guardian angel for children afraid of the dark, and he’s happy to chase away any monsters that may haunt you

nothing can harm you in his arms

in all seriousness, Simeon is like Dia in that he will quickly asses the problem and inquire about its cause

anxiety? oh love come lay with him in his soft wings, nothing could think to chase you down there.

trauma? hes going to hold you so gentle, words so soft. that darling, as much as he would like to take that burden from you, he can only help you find the tools to carry it yourself. 

Luke

nervous angel. you are not only his friend, but a playmate and even older sibling for this darling (or a parent if you chose that role)

at first he will start rattling off ideas like his father Barb about Lavender cookies or hot chocolate

and then kiddo will pause

“...mc... why can't you sleep? what keeps you awake?”

be gentle with him. anxiety or nerodivergents will confuse him at first but he believes you and only wants to offer his love and help

but this baby will break down if you tell him of trauma. no no, you’re mc! you’re big and strong and able to take on anything in your path! he will sniffle into your arms, reminding you that you have him and Simeon now, and the other boys for that matter! nothing like that can ever happen again. they won't allow it. 

#obey me #obey me shall we date #obey me headcanons #obey me x reader #obey me fluff #obey me dateables #obey me diavolo #obey me barbatos #obey me simeon #obey me solomon #obey me luke

[gnar-slabdash]

They Tried To Make Me Go To Rehab But Sophie Said Naw Actually It’s No Big Deal

Okay, I’m hyped up on unseasonable sunshine, social anxiety, and decaf lattes, so let’s talk about my favorite thing: Nate’s drinking.

Specifically, what the hell were they trying to do with it from Season Three on?

Disclaimer: This is unnecessarily long, pretty stream of consciousness, and has NO SATISFYING CONCLUSION of any kind. OKAY GO.

So in Season One, things are pretty clear: We know from page one that Nate has a drinking problem, presumably kicked off as a coping mechanism to his son’s death and either because of or a cause of the subsequent collapse of his life. It gets worse as time goes on, and it specifically gets worse when he encounters a trigger, generally a job relating to kids or hospitals. And it is treated, by everyone, as a problem. Sophie in particular attempts to “fix” it. And by the end of the season he’s in a better emotional place and he has some closure in his battle with shit whatsisface you know the IYS guy. You know who I mean. And so, in a move that works great for literature if not so great in real life, those successes equate to being able to put aside the coping mechanism, and when we see him again he’s quit drinking.

That lasts until The Bottle Job, which is fucking brilliant because it’s NOT a literary turning point, it’s just a job that happens to put him in a position where it’s difficult NOT to take a drink. I love this, I love that it shows that this isn’t a problem that can be triumphed over and put away through dramatic moments of character development, it’s a continuing part of life that he has to keep dealing with. And also, we get to see once again that the others TREAT IT AS A PROBLEM (this will be important later). We don’t get to see Sophie try to fix it since she’s away, but we do get to see Tara contrast herself with Sophie when she says she’s NOT interested in fixing it, it’s HIS problem, she’s only concerned about whether it’s gonna fuck up the jobs she’s working on. Which, a) good boundary setting, Tara, I love you, and b) nice way to emphasize Sophie’s position even when Sophie isn’t there. 

And then we enter Season Three. Nate’s in jail for most of the episode and, presumably, sober. At the end, he sits down with Sophie and -- here I’m just gonna give you the lines, copied of course from the When Darkness Falls transcripts, I love you When Darkness Falls, whoever you are:

Nate: I tried being a drunk honest man, a sober thief, so I'm gonna try being a drunk thief, you know? Try that for a little while. You're not going to try to save me, are you? Sophie: You're a thief now. You can save yourself. 

OKAY SO. Here’s what we have to work with going forward in the season: Nate’s decided he doesn’t want to quit drinking, but he DOES leave room to revisit the question in the future. And SOPHIE. SOPHIE FUCKING. SOPHIE DECIDES THAT’S OKAY. Which like. Okay, maybe she had a long talk with Tara and decided it wasn’t on her to save him and she should set some boundaries too? But like. I just. I just don’t believe this. I don’t believe Sophie Devereaux who has been taking bottles straight out of his hand since Episode Two, who’s the one who sat him down in the 12 Step Job for the rawest discussion of the topic the show has ever had, who’s the one who set up the entire David Job as his intervention (well and so she could get her hands on the tiny naked man but still). That Sophie? She’s just gonna keep her hands off the problem now? Hell no. This is absolutely gonna get revisted, there’s no way Sophie’s gonna be able to just leave well enough alone.

But she does.

And from here on to the END of the show, there’s this weird status quo where the show continues to acnowledge that Nate has a drinking problem but ALSO treats it as just. . . not actually a problem anymore. He rarely Gets Drunk, and when he does it doesn’t negatively affect the job. Comments are made about how “You were pretty drunk for that one,” in past tense. At the same time, some comments are in present tense, but those ones are pretty flippant. The “Functioning alcoholic!” line in The Office Job tells us that I was right, Sophie did not let it go, but it seems to have become more of a casual ongoing argument than a serious issue, on the lines of “Why don’t you ever do the dishes?” Parker tells us he does Mastermind stuff alone, just him and his bottle. 

But like, on the one hand, it makes sense. He’s had that closure in Season One, he’s no longer in a lot of situations that are triggering him and when he is he’s a) a little more removed from the situation, and b) with people he cares about and can depend on to help him solve it. It makes sense, actually, that the acute spikes might be gone while the base problem remains, just at a low enough level for the others to snark about it but mostly let it go. That’s possible, and it makes sense for TV because it’s an interesting character trait to keep around but also we NEED him to be able to keep going without going off the rails every few episodes.

I wish I could leave it at that. But I definitely cannot. Because then we have. The mother. fucking. cross my heart job.

Remember when I said Nate wasn’t getting triggered much anymore? Here’s the exception. A boy is in a hospital and will DIE if the bad guy gets what he wants. This is a serious danger zone for Nate. And he has set up temporary HQ inside the. . . uh. . . Crab-A-Rama. That’s what the When Darkness Falls script says and I’m choosing to believe them. But anyway. Crab-A-Rama has a visible bar. And Nate is running the con from here, and he is Not Drinking. 

Is he actually making the decision not to drink because he recognizes that it would be dangerous and this is too important to risk fucking it up by getting drunk? That would be such great character growth to explore. But instead Sophie tells him to have a drink. And she says:

We don't like it when you drink, but we trust you when you do. We both knew this was gonna get personal. We need you to stay clear-headed. You let it get to you now, it's gonna go bad for all of us. Be very careful, Nate.

Throughout Season One Sophie SAW and CALLED OUT that a) situations like this triggered Nate to drink and b) when he drank, the plans got more risky and c) the rest of the team was less willing to follow him. 

And now she’s saying that they will TRUST him MORE if he drinks, and that he should drink specifically BECAUSE this situation is personal and dangerous?

Okay, okay. Deep breaths. It’s just one line. Maybe they just wrote one bad line and I should let it go. But then again. . . there’s also The Last Dam Job, when we get a beautiful shot of Nate passed out on a cot in the batcave, surrounded by empty bottles, and then he bolts up and declares “VERD AGRA!” showing that during his bender he’s gotten to the bottom of Latimer’s schemes. That’s the only time I can think of in the latter three seasons that he actually Gets Drunk, and it seems to have. . . . HELPED. 

I’m trying so hard to come up with a generalization about what this all means. Is the drinking a continuing problem and an interesting example of a show wrapping up without feeling the need to solve every problem? Or does it actually transition from being treated as a problem to being treated as a kind of POWER with unfortunate side effects? Has Sophie set a healthy boundary and decided it’s his problem to deal with, and she’s okay with that even as she agrees to MARRY him? Or has she totally changed her mind about it and decided that she’s okay with it and even knows how to use it to their advantage?

I have no conclusion. I keep thinking maybe there’s a line I’m missing that explains it all. If you know of such a line, by all means let me know. But I’m afraid the answer is just. . . a show is made by a lot of different people, and the general intent was probably to keep the drinking as a problem but not a focal point during these seasons, but like. . . different writers/directors/producers/editors are going to see things differently and total cohesion isn’t always possible. So yeah, that’s my shitty conclusion: Shows aren’t always cohesive and there’s no in-universe explanation that will make it all make sense. 

Well that was disappointing. SORRY!

#leverage #nate ford #sophie devereaux

[triptuckers]

Come back to me - Jesper Fahey

Request: yes! "Hi, how are you? Would it be okay for me request a Jesper fic? Maybe something where the reader and Jesper are together and she is also part of the Crows. Since she has a set of skills quite similar to Inej, the two of you are usually paired up during crows missions. On this particular mission you are also paired up with Inej while the others are off somehwhere doing their part of the mission. But then when the two of you don’t appear at the rendezvous point on the agreed upon time Jesper grows extremely worried that something might’ve happened. What completly takes him over the edge is when a wounded Inej appears stating that something happened that resulted in you getting separated from each other and that she was hoping that maybe you arrived already and that’s she doesn’t know what state you might be in." Pairing: Jesper Fahey x reader Summary: When you don't show up at the rendezvous point in time, Jesper starts to worry about you, especially when Inej - your partner for the job - shows up without you Warnings:  angst, mentions of blood, death, vomiting, bruises, language Word count: 3.1K A/N: you ask for angst? I shall write angst TAG LIST (Jesper Fahey): @mufnasa @mmvi-cdxx @brick-by-brick553@treasureofmy-heart TAG LIST (grishaverse): @ayushmitadutta @mrs-brekker15 @dancingwith-sunflowers @thegirlwiththeimpala @parker-natasha @story-scribbler@romanoffstarkovs @daliareads @meiitanoia @itsnotquimey @sanktaesperanza@whymyparentscheckmyphone @aleksanderwh0r3 @ilovemarvelanne1@marlenaisnthappy @brekker-zenik @just-deka @graceknxwlson @the-very-tired-mess @sassybadqueen

There's an anxious feeling in the air. Everyone's feeling it, too nervous to talk. But no one is as nervous or anxious as Jesper.

All of them are waiting at the rendezvous point. All of them, except for you and Inej. Kaz had told them to meet at midnight sharp, and almost everyone was on time. Even Jesper was, which is rare.

He'd expected you to wait there for him, to wave happily at him. You were always smiling a lot when a job went well. He was ready to greet you and pull you in a tight hug, but when he arrived with Nina, only Kaz, Matthias and Wylan had returned.

Jesper figured you'd be there, but he'd just have to wait a little longer. There was still time until midnight. But as the minutes grow, and there's no sign of you or Inej, Jesper is getting more nervous.

After a while, he can't take it anymore, and starts to pace around. He's fidgeting with his fingers or twisting his guns in the air. Anything to help him stay focused.

'Jesper, stop being so twitchy.' snaps Kaz. 'You're making everyone nervous.'

'They should have been back fifteen minutes ago.' says Jesper, matching Kaz' irritated tone. 'We all know Y/N and Inej are always on time.'

'Then worry in silence.' says Kaz.

'How the fuck can you say that?' says Jesper, getting frustrated no one seems to be as stressed as he is. 'Did you not hear me? They are always on time.'

'Well maybe-'

Kaz' voice is cut off by a sharp gasp from Nina. Jesper whirls around to see what Nina's looking at. In the distance, they see someone emerge from the shadows.

Whoever it is, they appear to be hurt. They're pressing a hand to their side and leaning heavily to one side as they walk.

Jesper's heart begins to race. He senses everyone around him tenses up as well. His hand is on one of his guns in case it's a trap.

Then the figure emerges from the dark and they see it's Inej.

While he should be glad to see Inej is alive, this makes Jesper even more worried.

Inej showing up, alone. And hurt. What did that have to say about your state? And where are you?

Jesper stands rooted to the spot, but Nina rushes over to Inej. She helps her to walk the last bit to the others. Nina starts to go over Inej' injuries, but Inej only looks at Jesper.

'We got separated.' she says, looking utterly miserable. 'There were guards we didn't expect and we would have a bigger chance of getting away if we split up. We were supposed to meet up again, but I never saw Y/N. I would have waited longer, but I need a healer or a medic.'

Jesper forces a nod at Inej. 'At least you're safe.' he says before peering in the distance, looking for you. He can't be mad that Inej made it back and you didn't. It's not Inej' fault.

'I don't know where she is or if she's okay.' says Inej, voice breaking as she speaks. 'I'm so sorry Jesper.'

'Don't be.' says Jesper, voice tense with anxiety. 'It's not your fault.'

Kaz steps in front of Inej, looking at her bloodied side.

'Matthias, Wylan, get Inej back to the Slat. Find a healer or a medic. And fast.' says Kaz.

None of them move.

'I could heal her here.' offers Nina. 'Then we can all stay.'

Jesper knows they're al worried about you. They want you to come back. Everyone always comes back. So you have to come back as well.

'It's too risky.' says Kaz. 'I need you here in case we find Y/N and you can still heal her.'

'Don't say that.' mumbles Jesper.

'Don't say what?' says Kaz.

'In case we find her.' says Jesper, repeating Kaz' words. 'We'll find her. We're going to find her.'

'Then we have to get moving.' says Nina. 'And fast.'

After Inej tells them where she last saw you, Matthias and Wylan take her back to the Slat, leaving the others behind.

'We have to split up.' says Kaz. 'We haven't been made yet, but no doubt they're going to send more guards. So be quiet, but fast. Find a way to signal the others if- when we find her.'

Without waiting another second, Jesper takes off.

He walks through the dark, listening for any sound. His heart hammers in this chest, and he's afraid someone can hear it. He's not sure if he even wants to find you. The thought of finding you heavily injured - or worse - is almost unbearable.

Right before you and Inej said goodbye to the others, you'd winked at him. Told him that you'd buy the first round of drinks that night. He'd laughed and said he would buy the first round, insisted on being a gentleman for you.

He'd never even considered you might not make it back.

Jesper manoeuvres through the dark, a hand on his gun in case he ran into trouble.

He's listening for any sound of you, or a signal of Kaz or Nina. Then he thinks of Inej, who got hurt. She didn't say how she got hurt or who was responsible. He should have asked her when he had the chance.

His eyes notice something on the ground, glistering in the moonlight.

Jesper crouches down to take a closer look at it. He thought it was water at first, but one look at the dark liquid and he notices it is blood.

Fuck.

Could it belong to Inej? Or one of her attackers? And if it wasn't one of those, did it belong to you? Was this why you didn't show up at the rendezvous point?

Jesper looks further ahead and sees more drops of blood. Occasionally there's more, indicating whoever it was that was bleeding had stopped, then continued to walk.

With newfound hope, Jesper follow the trail.

He might not like what he'll find, but if it was you, he could help. He didn't know a lot about healing and treating injuries, but he could help stop the bleeding. He'd signal for Kaz or Nina, and Nina would be able to heal you.

His pace quickens and he doesn't care how much sound he makes or who might hear him. If that blood was yours, he had to find you. And he had to find you fast.

Jesper walks around a corner and spots a figure in the distance.

They're walking slowly, occasionally stopping to lean against the wall. Then they push themselves up to keep on walking.

Jesper slowly inches closer, a hand on his gun. Then the person in the distance walks through a stream of light of a street light, and he recognises the hair colour.

'Oh, fuck.' he murmurs. Then he takes off in a run.

When he's right behind you, you turn around, knife in your hand. But Jesper can tell you don't have enough strength left in your body to fight off someone.

Jesper's eyes widen when he sees your blood soaked clothes.

'No.' he says. 'Oh fuck, fuck, no.'

It seems like his voice brings you back to reality.

'Jes?' you say in a hoarse voice. 'What are you doing here? You're supposed to be at the rendezvous point.'

'Oh, saints, Y/N, this is bad.' he mumbles.

'I think you need to buy the first round.' you manage to choke out. And then you collapse in his arms.

'No!' says Jesper, louder than he meant to. But he doesn't care who might hear him right now. He's still got his guns and his quick shooting skills.

Jesper pulls you in his lap, pressing a hand to your bleeding side.

'Sorry.' you say softly.

'What on earth do you have to apologise for?' mumbles Jesper as he focuses on your injuries.

'M bleeding all over your coat. I know it's your favourite.' you say, pouting slightly.

'I'll get a new one.' says Jesper. 'Save your strength. What happened?'

'Inej and I got jumped. We ran. Inej got stabbed. Then I got stabbed. And I got shot. I also got punched in the face so I'll be less pretty with a huge bruise on my face.' you say softly, feeling your eyes grow heavier.

Jesper seems to notice and gently pats your cheek.

'Stay awake for me, love.' he says, his voice slightly trembling. 'Still need to buy you that drink.'

'Hmm.' you hum, briefly closing your eyes. 'Did Inej make it back?'

'Yes, Wylan and Matthias took her back to the Slat, she'll be okay. Like you.' says Jesper. 'Help is on the way.

You reach out and grab one of Jesper's hands. You smile weakly and Jesper shakes his head.

'No, no, don't you dare.' he says, tears forming in his eyes. 'Don't you fucking dare say goodbye, Y/N. This is not goodbye.'

'Just in case.' you say softly. 'In case I don't make it.'

'Don't say that!' says Jesper, getting frustrated with you. 'You're not dying on me now, Y/N, just hold on a little longer.'

'M trying.' you say. 'It hurts.'

'I know it does, love, just stay awake for me. At least long enough until Nina comes.' says Jesper.

'You know I love you, right?' you say softly, voice barely louder than a whisper.

'Don't say goodbye.' says Jesper. 'Don't go.'

'Say it back.' you say.

Jesper shakes his head. 'I'll tell you when you're okay, when Nina's taking care of you.' he says.

'Jesper, please.' you say, almost begging him. 'Say it back.'

'When you're okay.' says Jesper, tears now falling down his cheeks.

You squeeze his hand with as much strength as you can gather, silently asking him again.

'I love you.' he says softly. 'I always have and I always will.'

You smile weakly and feel your eyes become heavier. 'Good to know.' you whisper.

And then you close your eyes.

Jesper's eyes widen. 'No.' he says, softly shaking you. 'No, no, fuck!'

His fingers quickly search for a pulse, but in his panicked state he can barely concentrate.

'No, no, no.' he keeps mumbling.

He looks up, desperate to see Nina or Kaz. But there's no one. No one but you laying in his arms, closed eyes and a shirt soaked with blood.

'Nina!' he yells. He doesn't care who can hear him. Friend or foe, he needs someone.

'Nina!' Jesper yells again. 'Nina! Over here! I found her! Nina!'

He keeps yelling until his voice is hoarse and his throat sore. He keeps on yelling and yelling until finally, someone runs toward him in the distance.

'Nina.' he says weakly. 'I- uh- I found her.'

Nina immediately flexes her fingers and starts to work on your injuries. Jesper wants to ask her if you're going to be okay, but he's afraid of the answer.

While Nina words on healing you, Kaz finds you as well. His expression is blank as he looks at your limp body in Jesper's arms. He tries not to show it, but he's terrified as well.

Finally, Nina turns to Jesper.

'I did the best I could.' she says softly. 'We have to take her back to the Slat, find a proper healer. She might still have a chance.'

'Okay.' says Jesper, suddenly feeling numb, as if he no longer has any emotion in his body.

'Can you carry her back to the Slat?' asks Nina.

Jesper nods, rising to his feet while clutching your body to his chest.

He walks back to the Slat as fast as he can, followed by Nina and Kaz. He's trying not to look down at your face, or think too much about you.

Instead, he forces himself to focus on Nina's words.

She might still have a chance.

It was going to be okay. They'd find a Grisha healer who could help you. Who could heal you where Nina couldn't. You were going to be okay.

Back at the Slat, it looks like Inej only had minor injuries. She's sitting in a chair, fresh bandages peeking out underneath her shirt. She jumps to her feet when she sees you in Jesper's arms, and winces at the sudden movement.

Jesper doesn't say anything, merely spares her a glance as he starts to walk up the stairs to your shared room.

He pushes open the door and gently places you on the bed.

Jesper sinks into a chair next to the bed and allows his tears to flow freely. You don't look like yourself. Your face is pale, your shirt still soaked with blood. You looked like a stranger to him. He doesn't want this to be his last memory of you.

He has no sense of time, and when Nina bursts through the door, he doesn't know how long it has been. She's closely followed by a boy Jesper doesn't know.

Nina quickly introduces him as a Grisha healer, and the boy gets to work.

Nina watches Jesper, who is watching you.

'Jes?' she says softly. 'Are you okay?'

Jesper shakes his head. 'I'm going to throw up.' he says, and then he rushes to the bathroom, falling to his knees in front of the toilet. Nina rubs his back as he throws up.

He stays there, unable to look at you any longer and afraid he might throw up again. He's trembling all over and no matter how hard he tries it, he can't seem to make it stop. Nina stands between the door of the bathroom and the bed, watching both you and Jesper.

Finally, Jesper hears the healer speak up.

'That's it.' he says. 'I've healed her, she should wake up in a few days. Don't wake her, just wait for her to wake up on her own.' he says.

Jesper hears how the healer leaves, and Nina is back by his side.

'Jesper?' she says.

He looks over his shoulder at her, and is met by her smile but also her tear stained cheeks. Of course. You're their friend too.

'I'll change her shirt, okay? Maybe you can come back after that? Sit with her?' she says.

Jesper nods and pushes himself to his feet. 'There's clean shirts in the closet.' he says softly. 'Just grab one, doesn't matter if it belongs to me or her.'

He waits for a few minutes before entering the room again. Nina's changed your shirt and got rid of the bloodied shirt. Your hair is still messy and there's indeed a nasty bruise forming on your face.

But most of your wounds are covered in bandages. Jesper holds back new tears as he approaches you.

He slowly sits down in the chair and takes your hand in his. He's surprised by how warm it still is. He hopes that's a good sign.

'Y/N, love?' he says softly. 'Look, I don't know if you can hear me, but I need you to wake up, okay? Just come back to me. I still have to buy that first round of drinks. And I still need to take you to Novyi Zem to dad's farm. You still have to meet him.'

He reaches out to brush some of your hair out of your face.

'Come back to me, sweetheart. I need you. I can't do this without you.' says Jesper softly.

He sits with you for a while, just looking at you and holding your hand. Occasionally, someone comes in to check on you or Jesper. Eventually, sleep takes over.

Jesper wakes to the feeling of something on his cheek.

When he opens his eyes, he sees it's your hand. Your eyes are open and you're softly talking to someone who is standing behind him. When you notice he's awake, you offer a weak smile.

'Hey you.' you say softly.

At the sound of your voice, new tears roll down his cheek.

'Oh, saints.' he says, lifting his head and grabbing your hand with both of his, pressing kisses to your bruised knuckles. 'Fuck, I thought you weren't going to wake up.' he says.

'Can't get rid of me that easily.' you say. You look at the person standing behind Jesper. 'Thanks for the tea, Inej.' you say.

Jesper hears the door closing behind him. Though the didn't hear any footsteps, he knows Inej left the room.

You look at him again.

'Don't you ever fucking do that again, you hear me?' he says firmly. 'Never. Saints, that was awful.'

'Sorry.' you say. 'Your eyes are red.'

'Yeah, no shit. I thought you died in my arms. I threw up a lot.' he says.

'I thought I died in your arms.' you say. 'Next thing I know I wake up with Inej watching me so intensely I thought she was going to stare right through me.'

Jesper chuckles and pulls his chair closer to you.

'I'm serious, though.' he says. 'Don't do that again.'

'I won't.' you say. 'I asked Kaz to put me on some of the low risk jobs for a while. Just until I feel like I'm ready to handle more.'

'Smart.' says Jesper.

'I'm sorry, really.' you say. 'That you had to go through that. I can't imagine what if felt like.'

Jesper raises his eyebrows. 'You almost died and you're the one apologising to me?' he says.

'For almost dying in your arms, yes.' you correct him.

'Don't apologise.' says Jesper. 'Just tell me whoever did this so I can put a bullet in their head.'

This time, you raise your eyebrows. 'You think I let them get away?' you say.

'Well, I don't know. Maybe?' says Jesper. 'You could barely walk when I found you.'

'I did let them get away.' you say. 'But with at least three knives in their chest. There's a good change I hit a lung or some other vital organ.'

Jesper grins. 'That's my girl.' he says.

You smile at him. 'Now come here.' you say. 'As long as you don't lay your entire body weight on top of me, you can lay next to me.'

You carefully scoot over and make some room for him. Jesper climbs into the bed next to you and you rest your head on his chest.

'Thank you.' you say.

'For what?' says Jesper.

'Staying with me.' you say.

'Always.' says Jesper, and you feel how he kisses your forehead before you fall asleep.

A/N: If you want to request something, make sure to read my house rules Here’s the list of characters I write for. Everything that I have written can be found on my masterlist. Please don’t repost my work, as I spend much time and effort on it!! Thank you for reading! Much love, Marit

#me reading this request & getting flash backs to that One Angsty kaz fic: 😏😏😏 #hehe I love breaking my own heart when writing <3 #jesper fahey #shadow and bone #grishaverse #jesper fahey x reader #jesper fahey fics #jesper fahey fic #jesper fahey fanfics #jesper fahey fanfic #jesper fahey fanfiction #jesper fahey oneshots #jesper fahey oneshot #shadow and bone fics #shadow and bone fic #shadow and bone fanfics #shadow and bone fanfic #shadow and bone fanfiction #shadow and bone oneshot #shadow and bone oneshots

[danses-with-dogmeat]

romanced hancock reacting to pregnant sole? (obviously not his baby, but a donor's haha)

Hancock x Pregnant! F!Sole Headcannons:

Oh look! I've been enabled yet again! No, but this is great though, I love thinking about happy companions starting a family with Sole ❤

Also, if y'all want any headcannons or anything for companions as parents please hmu, cuz my brain just naturally seems to consider that after doing these pregnancy prompts anyway 😅

Anyway, thanks for the ask, I hope you enjoy!

The ghoul always wondered whether or not his tear ducts would still work after his whole ordeal, and the news that the love of his life was ready and willing to start a family with him would certainly seek to find out. As soon as she gave the word that the donorship had worked, Hancock would be grinning wide and tearfully, with upturned brows and a trembling lip. Unable to speak at first, he would pull an equally tearful Sole into the tightest hug he could muster, their bodies flush, his arms enveloping his love as his roughened cheek pressed insistently against her smooth one. “You just made me the happiest ghoul in the whole damn world, you know that, sunshine?” He’d say just before touching his lips to her cheek in a long, drawn out, tender kiss. (The action may or may not escalate into a long trail of kisses spanning across Sole's entire face as mirthful giggles escape her lips.)

Who would've thought that this was in the cards for him? Certainly not Hancock. He thought he was lucky enough just to be in the presence of someone like Sole, but for her to return the feelings he had for her? To enthusiastically agree to being in a relationship with him? To want to start a family together? Hancock was sure he was dead, or riding the wildest high of his life, for how could this be reality for someone like him? A junkie, a bachelor, a coward, a ghoul, a flimsy torn page with "bad news" written all over it. Nah, he didn't deserve this, but damn was he overjoyed at the fact that Sole thought he did, and who was he to question her judgement?

Hancock had never thought this would be possible, the whole "baby" thing… even though he knew about donors and such, he always thought it would be too painful for Sole to consider having a family again. And with him? Of all the folks in the Commonwealth and beyond, she wanted the infamous ghoulified mayor of Goodneighbor to be a father? To her kid? He was fucking ecstatic. He didn’t quite understand why she wanted to raise a baby with him, why she thought he’d be any good at it, if she thought that. He knew he wouldn’t be the perfect fit for this kinda lifestyle; that he knew for certain, but the fact that she wanted him to try… that shit made his whole body tingle with warm gratitude from the inside out.

He would try to be calm, collected, and altogether nonchalant about the whole process in order to keep Sole relaxed. From finding the donor, to the fertilization, to the pregnancy, and all the way through to Sole going into labor, he would try to be as calm and cool as a November night. And on the outside, he'd do a damn good job, but inside? Nah, inside, this ghoul's worried sick. If anything went wrong with his sunshine, he wouldn't know what to do, he's not sure he could take a blow like that.

So, he’d try not to think too much about what could go wrong, since he knew that would only make it harder for him to be there for Sole in the way that she needed, but occasionally he’d just have those kinda days. A bad trip, a fitful night fraught with horrific dreams, a bout of horrifying overthinking as Sole uttered a pained sound from one little thing or another, or a stint of morning sickness that seemed to last just a bit too long for his liking. All of these would have the poor mayor on edge. Normally, when he was stressed, Hancock would try to chill out with some jet, or calmex, but he really was trying to give up the junkie life to the best of his irradiated abilities. It was a vicious cycle of anxiety every once in a while, but Sole was always there to help him through it. To remind him that this wasn’t her first experience with having a baby, to tell him that he was doing a wonderful job, despite his anxieties, and to remind him that they were the Sole Survivor and the Mayor of fucking Goodneighbor, and that they could face damn near anything when they were together.

Those were only the bad days though. On the good days, oh, hon... Hancock was simply blissful. Sole really is in for a treat, as she is absolutely 100% pampered and loved on, coddled and looked after for 9 months straight, and then some (minus the couple of bad days, where she has to be the one doing the coddling, but really, how could she mind?). As soon as the pair finds out that Sole really is going to have this baby, Hancock is already offering her anything she may need in order to stay safe and comfortable for the next 9 months.

Hancock’s chill personality really shines when it comes to any mood swings Sole may have, and a lifetime of chem and alcohol use has rendered the ghoul particularly skilled at cooking foods that are comforting and easy to make/eat that come in handy after bouts of morning sickness. Who knew that all of his hangover experience would come in handy like this?

While Hancock loves nothing more than going on adventures in the Commonwealth alongside his beloved, he wouldn’t say it in so many words, but would be more reluctant than usual to leave Goodneighbor or Sole’s house. When, before, he would have leapt up at the prospect of hunting down some goons and making the world a better place through some good ole fashioned violence, Hancock couldn’t think of anything worse than having Sole get injured, or potentially losing the one he loves more than anything in the world, and the possibility of a future family with her if some shit went wrong. So, while he absolutely knows she is capable and an complete beast in combat, and he recognizes that Sole can’t stay cooped up indoors for the whole 9 months, (and let’s face it, he certainly doesn’t want to either, but he’s not about to leave his love behind so he can get outta the house once in a while) he definitely steers the pair away from the areas he knows to be more sketchy than others.

Hancock just loves showing Sole off. He did this before the pregnancy as well, but man, now if anyone comes up to the pair when she starts showing, you know Hancock is already beaming as he tells the inquiring stranger just how far along she is, whether it’s a boy or a girl (if they know), or even what they think the baby’s gender is if they don’t want to know/can’t find out, how often the baby has been kicking, and he may even ask for opinions on baby names from certain kind folks who come up to chat with the parents-to-be. It’s also quite likely that he uses these passer-byes as an indirect way to further compliment Sole, saying things to them like, “Doesn’t she look gorgeous?,” “Just look at how she glows,” or “It’s just incredible how you/these ladies do this, isn’t it? Damn it if she's not the strongest person I know,” just to showcase his admiration for her. Does it sometimes result in strange looks from the strangers? Of course. Does Hancock care, or even seem to notice? Not remotely. He's too busy gawking at the love of his life and her blushing, embarrassed glory.

The mayor tends not to be rude about it unless the person ignores him, but if he notices someone smoking nearby, he will ask them to put out whatever it is, or to simply move if he and Sole were there first. In addition to that, he will make quite the lifestyle change for himself, voluntarily giving up chems to the best of his abilities so long as withdrawals don't prevent him from caring for Sole, and when he does partake, Hancock won’t do it around her, he’ll move outside or to another room. He would also offer to give up alcohol, since he knows that she won’t be able to drink with him anyway, and leave it up to her if she wants him to go cold turkey like her. Even if she doesn’t mind, he still won’t drink in excess around her during her pregnancy. It's kind of a respect thing for him, and there ain't no one he respects more than the future mother of his child.

(little bit of NSFW content here) When it comes to sex, Hancock is even more generous than usual in the bedroom (if you can believe it's possible). His every movement acts as a tribute to his appreciation for the woman he loves more than life itself. He’d be sure to be gentle, but in all honesty, Hancock wouldn’t change anything too much (no need to fix what ain't broken, ya know?). He has always paid particular attention to Sole beneath the sheets, since he’s quite experimental, and comfortable with most kinks and things himself, so he tends to let her choose positions, location, duration, and pacing, and would definitely keep it this way during the pregnancy. You think this man used to really get into body worship before, this is just a whole nuther level. As Sole puts on weight later into her pregnancy, he takes full advantage of her swelling plushness, running his hands over her body, taking the time to squeeze and palm every bit of her growing softness, constantly complimenting every bit of her as his starving eyes eat up every inch of her beauty. Especially if Sole is self-conscious about any of the changes in her body, Hancock will be sure to constantly remind her that she’s the most captivating and gorgeous person he’s ever met. No stretch mark appears on her body without being lovingly kissed, no soreness will develop without the offer of a nice, long massage (this perhaps is just another excuse to get his hands on her), no tenderness will go unnoticed and will be accounted for when his hands are roaming her body. In general, he’s as loving and doting as ever, but he's also on high alert for any signs of pain or discomfort coming from his other half.

He’d be SO excited every time the baby kicked. For some reason, the babe seems to wait until he’s around to do it, and he’s thrilled. Sole is a little weirded out by it, but she honestly takes it as a good sign. But oh man, Hancock's hands will be all up in that shit, not wanting to miss a thing as Sole smiles at him like this isn't the fourth time this has happened in one evening (does he use this as yet another excuse to touch Sole? Hmm, who knows [the answer is yes]). Sometimes he forgets to be sympathetic when Sole can't sleep due to the fluttering in her belly, but his roughened hands smoothing rhythmically over her stomach throughout the night might just help her catch a few Zzs after all.

He’s admittedly quite nervous as she approaches labor, becoming ever more protective as her belly swells to its largest point, ensuring she avoids any kinda gun fight, crazy high heights or unneeded stress, and he would be adamant about Sole sitting out any outings, missions, or other activities in the dangers of the Commonwealth. But man, would he make an environment she didn’t want to leave. Pillows, snacks, dim lighting, good conversation, music, soft touches, compliments galore, and a man who is at her constant beck and call, willing and happy to do anything and everything she might need or want? Yeah, here’s to say, Sole didn’t really want to leave anyway.

By the end of the pregnancy, Hancock has a strange mix of apprehension and denial going on. He’s used to Sole being pregnant now, he knows how to deal with everything, how to take care of her, what makes her uncomfortable and how to fix it. But a kid? An infant? He doesn’t know how babies work, doesn’t know how to tell what they want from him. He’s excited beyond belief at the thought of being a father, but he just doesn’t know how to do it. He tries to think back to his own dad, and the way that he was brought up as a kid, (though, he's not sure that's a great frame of reference given the way he turned out) and definitely goes off of Sole’s judgement, but he can’t shake the feeling that he was never meant for this. To settle down and have a family. He isn’t his dad, he’s Hancock. He’s not a “family man,” not a picturesque pre-war looking man with a normal job and a cookie-cutter backstory; he’s a self-made ghoul, a junkie, a deadbeat whose earned his position of power by bathing in the blood of tyrants who died by his own hand, and shooting his veins up with every kinda poison the wastes have to offer. How do you explain that to a kid? That he made himself the way he is, cuz he couldn’t stand the man he’d grown up to be? What the hell kinda example is that? He wouldn't doubt for a second that his baby would be the center of his world from the moment he sees it, but if anything, that only ups the anxiety that he'll do something to mess the kid up. Hancock would be nervous as shit, but if Sole had confidence in him, well… he trusts her judgement more than he does his own, so if she thinks he’s "daddy" material, he ain’t gonna argue with that. All he can do is hope she’s right, follow her lead, take it one day at a time, and hope that him trying his absolute hardest will be enough.

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