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fyodorsmistress · 2 years

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anything for you - kinktober fic one

⁎ pairing: omega!fyodor and gn!reader

⁎ content: 18+, minors DNI! includes omegaverse, fingering, fluff

⁎ notes: first fic of kinktober!! for those who dont know yet: i used to be pussydrunkfyodor, but my account was terminated. i am starting over here, and this is the start of my new, revamped kinktober! omega fyodor has become my guilty pleasure, have fun <3 (art by the loml, @nameless-noodles)

♫ now playing: angel baby by troye sivan ♫

You had only gotten up to fetch some water, snacks, and painkillers, which took about five minutes. But those five minutes took about an hour of convincing the poor omega glued to your body that it was necessary, and you would be right back. He whined, repeating over and over how he didn’t understand why you had to leave, despite you rewording it as many ways as you could think of.

I swear I will come right back next to you, baby, I just need to run to the kitchen.

You need food and water to live, Fedya.

I also need food and water to live, darling.

His heat had been quite intense this cycle, meaning that you being out of his eyesight made him feel like the world itself was ending. The only reason he finally released you from his iron grip was because his cramps had reached their worst, and that pain was currently outweighing the emotional distress of you being gone. If only by the tiniest bit.

You asked if he wanted to FaceTime you while you were gone but he just shook his head and whimpered in pain, curling into a fetal position. Squeezing his hands tight and pressed your foreheads together, you swore up and down that you just wanted to take care of him, and you were never going to abandon him. He nodded and sniffed, so you tucked him in tight to his nest, covering him in all his blankets and surrounding him with pillows, before heading off. Running to the kitchen, you grabbed a tote bag and quickly tossed in as many water bottles, random snacks and sandwiches, and medications you could find. But still, when you returned to the bedroom slightly out of breath, you could hear quiet sniffles from the man buried underneath the mountain of blankets. You sighed deeply before shutting the door behind you and making your way over to the nest.

Sitting on the edge of the bed still holding the tote bag, you gently peeled back the covers hiding Fyodor’s face to look at him. Sure enough, his cheeks burned a fiery red as tears flowed from his eyes. You honestly figured this would happen.

“Fedya, baby? I’m right here. Can you sit up for me a little?” you cooed, using your fingers to brush his bangs out of his eyes. He just whined and buried himself even deeper into his nest, making you groan.

“Brat,” you muttered to yourself.

It took some gentle manhandling, but you were eventually able to bring Fyodor up to the surface enough to shove some painkillers and a bottle of water in his hand, watching with your eyebrows raised as he downed the pills.

“Drink at least half of that water,” you instructed, still mindful to keep your voice soft.

He tried to whine, but after telling him you wouldn’t cuddle with him until he drank water and ate a handful of grapes, he choked both down as fast as he could. You laughed as he handed back the half-empty water bottle with a sour look on his face, but held up your end of the deal.

Pulling off your sweatpants before returning to the nest – it got hot as hell underneath there – you climbed back into the little sanctuary with your mate you adored so much. After situating yourself back inside, you turned on your side to look into his sad eyes, offering a small smile.

“Hi,” you whispered.

He met your gaze and you could tell he was starting to cheer up thanks to your return, and you sighed in relief. At least he wasn’t upset for long.

Fyodor didn’t respond, just scooted closer to you, and nuzzled deep into your chest as you wrapped your arms tightly around him. You could feel the tension in his slim body melt away as he sighed, tangling his long legs with yours. For extra comfort, you began running your fingers through his soft, dark hair and pressing light kisses to his forehead. You smiled to yourself as he started to purr quietly. You laid there for a while, grazing your fingertips up and down his back and scratching lightly. He had subconsciously began sucking on your neck near one of your scent glands, and you had to hold back laughs as his teeth tickled your throat. He suddenly pulled his head back so he could look at you.

“What is it, darling?” you asked, brushing his hair out of his face.

You could tell he was about to say something, mouth ajar, but stopped himself with a hmph and averted his eyes.

“Fedya?”

His brought out his arms from where he had had them curled underneath himself so he could snake them under your t-shirt. Skin to skin contact was very important to him in his heats.

“Can you-“ he grumbled, cutting himself off once again. You used your index finger to lift his chin up, forcing him to look at you.

“You know you can ask me anything, love. I will do anything for you.”

“Will y- will you croon for me?” he whispered before burying his face under the covers.

You laughed at the absurdity of the question – the fact that it even needed to be a question.

“Of course I will, you know that. All you have to do is say the words,” you assured him.

Hugging him tight, you allowed for the deep purr-like sound to rise from your chest. You could tell by the slowing of his breathing and the sweetening of his scent that it was calming him down. He found so much comfort in the vibrations but was always embarrassed to ask for it. You felt him start to purr louder in return – one of your favorite noises.

After a bit, his scent began to sweeten a little too much, and your mind began to wander. His pained moans confirmed your suspicions.

“Is everything okay?” you whispered. He groaned even louder.

“I’m…. leaking. A lot,” he replied, voice so small it was barely audible. He untangled his legs from yours so he could squeeze his thighs together.

“May I help?” You always tried to phrase things very gently to Fyodor in this state. If he got too embarrassed, he would stop speaking up at all, and taking care of the omega became next to impossible.

“Would you?”

“You know I always will.”

You gripped his thigh so you could hook it over your hips, allowing you better access, before your hands wandered lower. Being very slow and delicate about it, you made sure to ask is this okay? with every new movement.

Your hand eventually came to his lower back and began massaging the soft fat, making him moan. Gently inserting your fingers into the cleft of his ass, your fingers found his very wet hole. He was not exaggerating when he said it was a lot. The slick dripped out of him steadily, streaming down his thighs and gathering in the cleavage. You teased his hole to see how ready he was, and the way it gaped in response was all you needed to know.

Making sure it was well slicked, you slipped your middle finger into his hole, and the moan he let out was ungodly. You went slow to be able to assess how receptive his body would be; feeling no resistance, you pushed in the digit all the way to your knuckle. Fyodor was already whining and clawing at the skin of your back, and you had barely just begun. You allowed for him to adjust to the foreign presence before slowly starting to pump the finger in and out of him. He threw his head back at the friction he had so desperately been waiting for, and you smiled before pressing kisses to his jaw.

Not long after, you added your ring finger in right beside it, and his hole received it willingly. He whimpered and whined as you thrusted both fingers into him with increasing speed, attempting to angle them right enough to hit his prostate. It didn’t take long – you knew Fedya’s body well at that point. The second you made contact with his prostate his back arched into you and he whined even louder.

“More, please,” he begged.

“Do you think you can take one more?” you asked, continuing to fuck him with your fingers. He nodded ferociously, and you could feel him clench tightly around the digits.

Pushing in your index finger required no effort – you wondered how long he had been this needy before he ever said anything. You got a little rougher with the third finger added, transitioning between scissoring them to stretch him out even more, to pumping them in and out quickly.

He mewed as he attached his mouth to your throat once more, saliva dripping out of his mouth and beginning to soak your t-shirt. You just chuckled to yourself.

Your hand was absolutely drenched with the sweet-smelling slick at that point, and you could feel it beginning to pool underneath him. You briefly thought about how best to break the news that you would need to change the sheets of his nest soon.

You could tell he was reaching his climax as his erection was leaking through his underwear as well, and he tightened the grip of his leg wrapped around you, toes curling in anticipation. You increased your rhythm once again, and he moaned and tried to chase the feeling, desperate to ride your fingers.

“Do you want to come, Fedya?” you whispered in his ear. All he could do was moan in response. You caught his lips with yours, kissing him deeply as you fucked into him.

“I’m gon- I’m gonna-“ he could barely get the words out.

“C’mon, baby, come for me.”

He began rubbing himself against your belly, chasing the friction against his cock he so desperately needed. He kissed you back sloppily, all teeth and tongue as his focus wavered.

Not long after, he arched his back and cried out your name before he released into his boxers, and drenched your hand even more with the sweet substance as slick flowed out of him. You fucked him through the whole thing, only stopping when his body stilled. You slowly pulled out your fingers with a dirty pop, and he whined at the sudden loss of fullness. You couldn’t help but to bring your hand up to your mouth and suck the slick off your fingers. It was your favorite taste.

“Is that better, Fedya?” you cooed. “…Fedya?”

You pulled back a little to search his face, and sure enough, he had passed out, slumped against your chest. You just laughed and hugged him closer – he had been so agitated lately; he needed the sleep. Hoping to lull him into a very restful and long sleep you started to croon, and he snuggled impossibly closer to you. You smiled and peppered his slack face with kisses as you situated the messed-up covers and plushies around Fyodor, burying him deep in his nest just the way he liked it. You honestly could not love your omega any more than you already did.

#bungo stray dogs smut #fyodor smut #fyodor x reader #bungo stray dogs x reader

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butterflyeffectiveless · 8 months

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toffee ramble, sorry

The whole Toffee thing in the show confuses me... because of the narrative and plot and the ending. I'm not against him being a villain who wasn't redeemed, but his role in the show feels like he was a very long-term plot device.

Just hear me out. The Magic High Commission turned out to be "bad" people who have lied and concealed truth to save themselves, causing many lives to be destroyed Because of their actions. I heard that some of them were even partially resposible for the tensions and war between Butterfly Queens and monsters. They basicallly commited big crimes against people, but their actions were addressed in the show and sort of talked about. And they still contributed to plans of the main characters despite everything they'd done.

The key if not Core part of the show is uh... monsters vs Butterfly Queendom, where monsters are the ones who deserve to get what was taken from them, that monsters arent evil, etc. And Toffee is A Monster. The show treating him like a hindrance that needed to be killed, felt off, Even if we take into account that Toffee is a cold murderer who takes his ideas too far. Even if Toffee was this way, he still needed some other treatment in the show, Beause of the Plot of the show (mewmans vs monsters thing) . Maybe Toffee could have worked as a foil or "reverse image" of Globgor, aka a monster who is also oppressed but who makes wrong decisions and turns to a dark path so he must be stopped. But the show didnt treat Toffee that way either: essentially what he was , was just "a random villain who did bad stuff and therefore our princess must kill him".

If the show had made Toffee not a monster but someone else it probably would have been better. But making him a monster and giving him the role of a hindrance or "a character who moves plot forward" feels v out of place.

The show making Toffee a mysterious smart monster who appears in the 1st season, it feels like the creators only intended for him to lure the audience and to keep them hooked for the Other characters to show up. It was as one of the crew members said "Toffee was just a pawn in Eclipsa's plan". Toffee feels like a very long introduction to Eclipsa and not like his own character, judging from the show's perspective. Me thinking about how he was not intended to have deeper character and how he was planned by the creator herself as "a pure evil", led to me thinking that the crew only intended for Toffee to be a plot device for the show's future seasons. I mean...If (hypothetically) I thought my character was just evil, and I had other characters who had a lot more to them, I'd use said evil character as a device for my other characters to proceed further in the story.

(explanation: I DOnt think Toffee is an empty character, I Dont think he is just a device, what i was saying is that he was Intended By The Crew to be one. Im trying to say that I feel kind of sad about that decision).

And I feel like, the problem with Toffee as a Svtfoe show character was probably that he was a Monster. If he was something else. and not a monster, his death would not have caused as much upsetness in fandom as it had. Toffee being a plot device villain while being a monster really undermined the message the show tried to convey.

Or, maybe Tofffe should have been introduced in later seasons. not in the first season. I feel like, had he been introduced in later seasons, he wouldnt have been given role of a plot device, bc there would not be much insentive for the team to do that to him (the plot reached its peak, must work on this character's flaws and motives and write dialogue between him and others, - is what i imagine they'd plan for him)

Also after watching reviews on High Commission I realized something..... characters being stubborn and not wanting to change their views, seemed to be a common trait for many characters in the show. People see Toffee as the type to never change his views and to never change as a person (or monster), but..isnt almost every character in svtfoe that way..? I mean, MHC hasnt changed their views and stayed biased against eclipsa and monsters until the end, even though they are supposedly the good guys. Moon hasnt changed either. Star hasnt changed either but she was never that much biased against monsters in the first place (she did beat them up but she always saw them as "fun rivals" and not as "evil evil must eradicate").

Toffee not getting redemption seems not like a culmination of what he is and what he's done, but more like the show's narrative trait. Because in the show many characters refuse to change their views , why would Toffee be developed as an exception to that rule.

I used to be one of those who didnt want him to get redemption but now that i think about it.. wouldnt it be more fun if many characters in the show changed? And including him too. Yes I know it would be soapy, yes I know it would be sappy, I know it would be annoying. But it would be fun to see how the crew would play around with their feelings and journey toward character development.

#toffee #I am sorry for my english. If turns out i worded myself incorrectly again ill implode #ramble #toffee of septarsis

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heademptynotasinglethought · 1 year

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No one I know has seen this movie and It wasn’t as good as I wanted it to be and I’m upset

Has anyone seen that movie Fanfic on netflix? Its a polish movie so it has english dub which is how I watched it. So take this into consideration with my opinion on it. Maybe its exceptional in polish idk.

The writing is so bad but it had so much going for it :(

As the title suggests, there’s a reference to fanfiction, what it can do for its readers and the people who write it. But that’s all. A Reference. Its not really something that we focus on throughout the movie and I actually forgot that this is what the movie was supposed to be about halfway through until they throw it back in there at the end for some reason.

We’re following our main character, an alternative looking teenager with a cool edgy shag cut that hates their life and their parent and uses their fanfiction writing as a form of escapism. They see themselves as a rockstar, dating the character of their dreams, living a life they could never live. I get it I get it seems cool.

But its weird because, the life that our main character is escaping tbh doesnt seem that bad. I mean sure they are unhappy, don’t get along with their father, but also they basically go to euphoria high school so they get to go to all these cool warehouse raves with their huge group of friends all the time? Thats not so bad. Its truly silly like, our character will be out with their large group of friends to this bonfire that they didnt have to go to if they didnt want to but for some reason they brought their laptop with them to write fanfiction. ( how their laptop battery can survive all this I dont know im jealous)

And they see a therapist who seems to be genuinely interested in helping them deal with their emotions in a way that isnt just yelling at people, but alas the world is against them all the time of course. I think what really makes this character not work for me is that there is no internal dialogue? There is initially, like in the first couple minutes of the movie but then they just decided actually nvm? and from then on I just have to guess the main characters thought process and feelings from some longing stares.

I kept watching despite how much I didn’t like this main character only because the show is nice to watch tbh its pretty. And then I got even more sad because our character finds out that theyre trans.

Now i just want to like this movie even more right???? But how they find out theyre trans is truly silly. I’m nonbinary and do consider myself trans, sure I dont know everyones experience... but also has anyone ever just decided to put on a pair of jeans, a t shirt, and a jacket and then decided they got the wrong gender? Because our main character does. Its not like he was in drag or something thats just a comfortable outfit for any gender? Have they never been allowed to wear pants before???? I just dont understand.

The rest of the movie is not that exciting just kind of finding themselves with a love interest who shows up every now and again and isnt too exciting. This movie feels like something that was made to be a show but some higher up said nah so they smashed in to an hour and a half. Why are the characters so flat. Why is our main character the worst in a way thats not intentional? Why cant they wear pants until they find out theyre a boy?

Am I a girl when I wear mini skirt and a boy when I wear pants?

Also who is our main characters hair stylist I liked his hair before he cut if off I want that please and thank you.

Anyways head empty.

#fanfic #movie #netflix #fanfik

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motionjames · 8 months

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Writing this here since it might be (thematic) spoilers, this is just an insane ramble regarding my creative process as I continue working on Sorekara. Anime catholocism that devolves into poetic drivel.

Whenever I start a story, I always decide exactly how it will end: "the two will say goodbye with a kiss. they will never see each other again. and so it goes." That sounds sort of sad but the truth is that I dont understand why people who love each other have to be together forever. I understand why people would want it, but is it always necessary? Isnt it enough to carry the memory...?

For numerous reasons, I've always struggled to experience time in a linear fashion. My affection for some one will be as bright as the day I met them, even if I havent seen them in years. I have difficulty telling when I'm dreaming and when I'm awake at times, and I sleep entire days away and work through the nights. My love and bitterness never fade. Time isnt so much as a consistant flow as it is a sequence of frames I can revisit at any time, tracing the lines and feeling the feelings anew. That's right, life is a sequence of many pictures, physical and real and undying. That's what I think about often.

So when writing stories I think often of goodbyes. They can take the gifts with them and continue to collect the memories. As I continue filling in the picture of Sorekara, the more I see how it's a story of taking and giving and faith and time.

We have a man who has so much love and nowhere to put it. We have a creature that is defined by emptiness. We have a sequence of tragedies that live fresh as the day they were carved and there is no way of reversing them. But there is still a kindness that prevails thanks to the gifts theyve recieved: a matchbox of melodies tucked into the breast pocket; a hand with a heartbeat; a shoulder to lean on; a paper flower; a mural found; a phantom revisited; a promise of something that can never come true. Each gift solidifies that moment in time. The man believes in a false miracle and one day, despite its impossibility, his friend becomes it. The roles reverse. A man who learns how to accept a miracle, and a person who learns how to give.

My sister asked me if there was a common theme in my work ("besides trains!") and I thought about it for a minute. I said, "maybe the message is that God is real but He has abandoned us...but maybe the real God was the people we met along the way?"

It's the same in Prayers: a girl presents an impossible promise and boy who desperately needs it believes her. There's a quote from a later on--

"A lie is a just a promies for the future I wish you could have!"

Does this make sense? I'm going on all over the place now. But to sum it up, my characters are keen to believe the lies others feed them because those lies are wonderful gifts. Everyone is so keen to give something to each other because their stop is coming soon. Everyone believes in angels because the world would be wonderful if they were real-- the kinds with feathers and halos, not the ones that exist within their reality. Even the angels want to believe. So everyone survives through fabricated fantasies. But because of others, a sliver of that fantasy can become real. A paper flower, painted red, held between the fingers. My gift to you. My little bit of godhood.

So time continues, and the two travelers say goodbye with a kiss. They will never see each other again. But the memory can be revisited, and in that immortal frame-- in the space eliminated-- time stops-- the image is burned into the mind-- the two powerless souls created a miracle-- in the image, there was something higher than God. It was something only a human can make.

The moment passes. But it never really dies.

"My little bit of godhood. That's my gift to you."

#chip talks #absolutely off the rocker #but its one of those contemplative days #its just a silly story #its not that grand at all #but writing these stories make me happy #the process makes me fall in love time and time again #so as i continue my mind begins to wander #and i always end up someplace new #i need to grab a cup of tea and start the day #instead of going crazy over the act of storytelling #but telling a story is the greatest gift i can give

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hive-heart · 2 years

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Back to rant about my feelings in here because Twitter sucks ass, even if I just post to my close circle. Anyways I'm so tired of feeling powerless. I talk about it all the time and I still feel like this is such a hugely difficult thing to accept, but sometimes I just can't do anything no matter how hard I try.

I was 14 straight hours sitting at my desk pushing myself to write my essay. I only got up to prepare my brothers their meals and get a shower. I only managed to write one line. A single stupid useless embarrassing line.

I chose to study a book that interested me even outside of class, I picked a social issue that I'm very invested in, and I broke down my tasks as simple as I could. Used pomodoro timers, had my brother check up on me, had caffeine, alarms, left my cellphone away, blocked my browsers, kept hydrated, ate normally, put some nice uninterrupting music. No tactic I've ever developed or even found online pushed me to do it.

It was supossed to be delivered yesterday but all I could upload was my single line. A SINGLE LINE. I know a way to cheat around the deadline, so I got myself at least an extra day if I'm Lucky. But? What will I do? Write a second line? Come the fuck on. I have to send an email begging the professor to give me a chance to turn in late assignments so I can pass but, a second chance? a chance to disappoint him again? Just shoot me already, what's even the point, we know I'll fuck it up again

What is wrong with me. What is so fundamentally lacking in me that makes me so inhuman. I can't feel love or lust, I don't relate to any gender, my brain is incapable of managing itself, I lack basic empathy and social awareness. I dont even know if I really can feel my feelings, despite my burning anger and drowning sadness I'm still sitting here expressioneless and with no single tear in my eyes, as always. What the fuck do I even have? I'm kind sometimes? I do not know how anyone could bring themselves to like me, let alone love me. And yet! I do have friends! Thank god for that because it's the one good thing in my life, the one thing that makes me consider myself so lucky. But that just baffles and confuses me more, right? Like? What are you guys doing here? Welcome to the limbo and empty void that is my existence? There's snacks on the counter?

My biggest regret is how much I believed in the future. In the future I'll be fine. Tomorrow I'll finish my essay. Next week I'll finish all my remaining assignments flawlessly. Next month I'll be doing things I like. Next year I'll have access to meds and therapy. Next decade I'll have a job and a partner. Next century my existence will have mattered. Later. Later. Later. It is always sometime else. Never right now, today, in the present. Hope and luck and dreams they're all poison they're all betrayers, backstabbing assholes that I keep around because I'm DELUSIONAL.

I want my brain to shut off, to shut up, to stop making so much darn noise. I know I fuck up a lot, I feel bad about it, I don't need to constantly hear how much I hate myself for it and how much everyone else should hate me for it and how much you want to stop existing. I just want an out. Why did I get the stupid idiot brain disease. Why me I had so many dreams and so much potential. Everyone believes in me so much, but I know the truth, I know that I can't live up to any image we have of me. Yes we. I also believe in myself. Despite everything, beyond my sorrow I believe in me. But it just makes the pain so much worse. Why is this incurable. Why does it have the stupid name and reputation it has. Why can't I just snap out of it sometimes. Consistently Inconsistent. This is hell and I'm frozen in it. The silly billy kids disease for stupid weeny babies is going to be the end of me.

I won't survive. I'm not strong enough to keep going. I have not, despite what I would like everyone to believe, stopped caring. I care so so much about everything. My guilt and shame are like a snowball that grows bigger and bigger as it goes on rolling down the hill, and it becomes more and more destructive until it is just unstoppable. Even now my little essay fiasco is just an accumulation of how guilty I feel about small things I didn't do months ago. But hey lying comes as easily as breathing for me and so I gotta stay aloof and carefree in front of others, lest they think I'm not in control of how shitty I have been. Lest they think I'm horribly failing despite putting in effort, how embarrassing! How lowly! How undeserving of being here with us at this prestigious school for the special and gifted! Everyone is so darn skilled and smart and hardworking and beautiful and holy. I love them so much. But I also despise myself for it. What am I doing here, who let me in, why haven't I been thrown out like the trash that I am.

haha whatever right? Anyways, I have to go have nightmares about failing a single class that was basically failproof, toodles

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asseater3k · 10 months

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Metal Gear Mania Day:7

Spoilers for MGS3 below the cut

I liked The bullet style from day 5 so were gonna use that this

THE SORROW this was a very cool boss fight. in my instance it was terribly mechanically complex or strictly speaking engaging but i was glued to my seat and the screen for the whole thing I wasn’t aware that there’d be a boss fight like this when i decided to try not to kill anyone, to be honest i just wanted to look cool in front of girls, but when i put two and two together that he shows you and makes you fight everyone he kills I kinda wished id killed some people It’s such a cool idea, I was a little peeved that the cobra unit ghosts showed up because I busted my ass to get all the KOs but they did also all explode after that so fair enough. I do love that even though he has a health bar its empty cause hes a ghost and the framing of this boss fight as snake almost dying is cool and helped by the fact that if you call anyone on codec they give you their game over lines

OCELOT this fucking guy every scene in this game makes you realize that the guy we see in MGS 1&2 was the “normal” well adjusted version of this guy who doesn’t go around sniffing random people and keeps his raging desire for Big Boss somewhat in check him being the final encounter was a nice relax from the actual final boss and I like the scene where they fight in the plane

THE BOSS (FIGHT) this one fuckin hurt, It’s a beautifully designed fight, A final duel in field of white flowers nothing but but stealth and CQC I made this harder on myself by using the sneaking suit cause I wanted that contrast against The Boss’ suit but man If you pay attention Snake gets a little better in each cutscene against the boss and that comes to ahead with you having to counter her moves in the fight finally surpassing your mentor add on the timer which i thought would actually come into play cause a timer didnt pop up on screen when the fight started even when The Boss started counting downs herself i was a bit 50/50 but I did actually run out of time so I learned my lesson. You have to play such a mix of patient and aggressive to get through this one

THE EVA ESCORT SECTION Ive heard a lot of flack directed at the Emma section in the last game and honestly i thought this part was worse it wasn’t anything horrible just a bit slow there was a section at the begg=inning where soldiers kept poring out and she wouldn’t go from an attack state to follow state fast enough in the down time between the soldiers showing up so we kept getting detected and entering alert I was mostly annoyed cause she kept shooting people and I thought the game would count it against me like with snake in MGS2 other than that it was just strategic snack acquisition and on to the heart break.

THE ENDING AND THE BOSS while the ending of MGS2 melted my brain this one just made me sad its a much tighter and more personal narrative than the last game and I think thats a smart call if you do something like MGS2 again you’d have to escalate it which I think would be difficult to do so soon after and without getting too convoluted. Don’t get it wrong there’s still some crossing threads in this specifically with regards to EVA, The Boss , Ocelots allegiances EVA being a Chinese spy Ocelot being a triple agent reporting to krushev over gru and The US over even them and of course The Boss remaining loyal to the US despite Kowing the expanded mission out right required her death and disgrace. I dont have a ton i feel i can say about that without straight up beaming the game into your brain its just so fucking heart breaking man her talking about how the ceaseless churn of war turns soilders into these disposable pieces where their lives a relationships are ripped up by the whims of major leaders and bids for power money etc I have players a bit of peace walker at time of writing and the fact that snake didnt fucking get it and interpreted her dream not as a world with out conflict freeing them from the need to be this group beholdent and loyal to the whims of others over themselves or each other and can live in peace but instead as world simply not beholdent to any conflict while still perpetuating it while remaking loyal to themselves just guts me man

MOVING FOWARD i had a bit of trouble deciding to go onto peace walker or MGS4 I started peace walker but got so nervous that i made the wrong choice taht i actually asked a blog I follow who is way more knowledgeable about this kind of stuff than i am about how I should go (you should follow them by the way their @ is cerastes they make good posts and have very enjoyable streams sometimes) in short he told me that while that while I was not making a mistake as both of these games feed into eachother very well meaning it was ultimately a personal choice that personally he would play 4 first sating that its depiction of war as buisness would resonate with a peace walker play through. So I was going to do that then I waffled some more then I decided that MGS4 status as a conclusion to series at lest at the time would vibe better as the final gaem in the context of this deranged two marathon I’ve done. I’m mostly writing this bit so i dont come across as/ feel like an asshole for asking for advice and kind of disregarding it, and if you read this dreamer I really did appreciate the advice and would have played the order you recommended if I was playing this in a more casual way taking my time through them all etc, any way neurosis aside its on to peace walker yippee!!

#metalgearmania #mgs3 spoilers

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bishiglomper · 1 year

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That culmination of a nervous breakdown has been trying to trigger. I am strugglin'

Didn't go out for shopping Friday because my battery has gotten shittier and shittier and i was trying to conserve energy. Did go out to lunch with them though. And then we went out of town to do festival things and fireworks. Wore me out a lot worse than i expected because we went back the next day and i was literally dragging ass. I was so slow and lethargic. Didnt feel good enough even to get an iced coffee. Or a snack. On the way home though we had bro's car which had AC and after some iced tea i was a bit revived enough to tolerate some nugs.

But then we got home (between 1-2) and i was out until 9pm (thank god i ate some nugs). Which made me sad because I was trying so hard to make it to my friends debut doing tarot readings at the shop literally 3 houses down and despite me telling them how much we needed to go and rearranging plans to fit... No one woke me up and i forgot. I was just so dead.

I slept most of today. And then i got sensory and mental overload. Just. My face was itchy. My eyes and nose were sore from being rubbed all day. The nephew got home midday and instead of cuddling he needed tickles which i didnt have the energy for, so he tickles me but i fucking HATE being tickled- that in itself is sensory overload. But he was obnoxious and loud about it. By then i was already feeling like i needed to cry.

Slept more. Woke up to help with dinner. Got overwhelmed. The trash is overflowing, i cant take it out, so theres nowhere to add more trash. There was trash on my plant. There were dirty dishes on the little spot by the window the cat likes to watch out of. I try to keep their spaces open. Ive already been fighting shit back from literally blocking their food and water. The house has gotten so bad. And the carpets are so shitty, i cant stand walking on them. They feel gummy. Ew.

And then i was put in charge of baked beans. I have never put those in the oven and sister was already grilling meat which only takes 20 minutes so I had no clear instructions on how to deal with that and that was just another small notch in my overload meter. But at that point i was crying. But I'm a repressed crier so I did not feel any better. D<

I dont know what is up with my body being this empty. Its frustrating and inconvenient and doesnt feel good.

Oh and on top on all the mental and physical overload, i was already 3 days overdue for my migraine shot. Which is always traumatic. So that was a spoon i didnt have.

And then i realized im also overdue for my ozempic. Which isnt even a spoon normally but its just more i had to do

But to add insult to injury im out of pens but I had like 1/8 in my last pen and i thought i had an old lower dose pen I could just use twice. But it was already almost used up so I had to get migraine shot, lantus shot, and TWO ozempic shots, and still only ended up with like. 60% of my dose of that. 😐

I dont even think I did my nighttime pills, I'm just so done.

I need a new fuckin battery 😭

#just whining

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sporksaber · 2 years

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After sitting on it for a day, here's some overall thoughts I had about Wednesday. And this is going to have spoilers

As a whole I enjoyed the show, but to be honest I dont want to watch it again.

I think the show overall lacked emotion. When characters had big emotional moments they often felt stilted. And I dont just mean Wednesday being awkward. The writing felt too direct at a lot of points. The big emotional moments just didnt hit.

The pacing for the entire show was kind of off, and I feel like that caused a lot of the lagging emotion.

It felt like they just gave up on balancing the supernatural mystery and the school stuff. Past episode three it felt shoved into any empty space they had. Enid suffered from this a lot. Her wolf issues didnt feel fleshed out at all. It was like they took a list of important story points and shoved those in with nothing to connect them.

But the lack of emotion affected wednesday a lot. She didnt feel like she was spiral despite how much they said she was. She doesnt seem stressed or frantic at all until her confrontation with the therapist. And because she doesnt seem stressed almost killing her friends and torturing tyler feels like the show saying "this is the real wednesday, despite the last 6 episodes saying otherwise."

Overall, it felt rushed.

I liked her interactions with her family but I wish they'd given glimpses of traditional addams family bonding outside of talking about their childhood. If there had been a scene or two that read as addams family™ the rest of their relationship would of played better.

I'd rewatch season one if a second season comes out, but not otherwise.

Mystery things:

The teacher who ended up being evil felt very believably fake. I feel like everyone watching probably clocked her as off immidiently. The gifts and smiley checking in was toned down and even enough that it is easily believed as a measured act without definitly being one. I felt like her dropping the act could of been toned down a bit, but I liked it over all.

The principal being a red herring because she was an old friend of morticias who obviously didnt like her anymore was a good choice. And Morticia being completely oblivious was kind of funny.

I never thought it was the long haired guy, he never vibed that way. I thought he might know when he was first shown coming out of the shed, but after he said what actually happened I didnt suspect him again.

I stopped suspecting the principal when she was revealed to be a shapeshifter. Her saying the teacher was a normie made me positive she was involved.

I first clocked Tyler as the monster when wednesday started suspecting the therapist, and was positive when he didnt die in the gates house.

I felt like ths therapist being the villain was off because they showed her being into wierd taxidermy. And when wednesday went to confront her and I saw it was halfway through episode seven I knew she was going to die. Which is sad, I liked her.

(On people dying, the moment the mortician says hes retiring I was like awww, hes so fun tho? Because characters who are about to retire always die.)(also, the bubblegum would of been there multiple days implying the cameras are never checked to be working which is sus.)

Anyway, the reveal. THE REVEAL. "What does it feel like... to lose?" That line was the best in the show. The delivery? Immaculate. I was screaming.

I wish it had stopped there though. Or at least made him more manic, it'd fit with the cover of confronting the girlfriend who just tortured you. Everything after that felt really lame. Once the "holy shit that was perfect" feeling wore off I got kind of bored. Also the rest of the station def looked like they were in hearing distance.

#netflix wednesday #wednesday #wednesday (2022)#wednesday addams #enid wednesday

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sergantbarnes · 6 years

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#i hate how i go from laughing and happy to literally completely empty inside i hate this #i also have developed the inability to sleep #considering i got 3 hours of sleep and then proceeded to be unable to fall back to sleep #despite me trying for an hour #im so fucking sad and i dont know why and every time i think i figure out a way to fix it or ease it #it only ends up backfiring #it works for like a day or two and then im right back where i started #and im so numb and empty inside it feels like theres this blackhole sucking out all of the life from me #im not hungry im not thirsty #im exhausted but i cant fucking sleep #i have no true friends #no one i can talk to #i cant even fucking be excited about pride month and embrace my sexuality #i came out to like 3 people one of which was my sister who i thought was fine with it but apprently isnt because shes been an absolute #asshole to me ever since i came out #my parents are my parents and absolutely useless as per fucking usual #and im just so done with everything #nothing interests me anymore #im just a ghost of who i used to be #its been like this for over 4 fucking years #and even if i try to get help it never pans out #im just #done #so fucking done #me.txt #like im not gonna kill myself but i wish that something in my life would go right for once #idk how to tag this #trigger warning #depression #suicide

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ikaroux · 3 years

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I dont see any advice that say if request are closet or Not but if they are please Just ignore me and delate the ask

I've seen a lot of s/o dying and leaving behind Xiao, Venti, Zhongli and Ganyu so what if s/o who died (you don't have to say why) but their soul is always with them in a form of an animal (butterfly, canary, deer, whatever you like) to Not leave them alone never again "together forever, even after death"

Posdata: (this is only if u wanna but its to add a little lore. They can feel s/o like their warm, the good feeling they always and they love also they can talk but only they can hear them)

Hi @milkby11 Thanks for the request! I was very inspired <3 I hope you like it! I added a few characters in addition to the ones requested.

Synopsis: You were dead, he/she had lost you forever. Loneliness and coldness took hold of his/her being, until he/she was visited by a strange animal...

Style: f!reader + m!reader x Ganyu. Death of the reader/reincarnation. Sad. Still, it ends well. I don't describe any violent or bloody scenes. Good luck!

Characters: Diluc, Zhongli, Kaeya, Xiao, Venti, Albedo, Kazuha, Tartaglia/Childe, Ganyu, Razor.

Note: This will give me a little practice for the next death-themed texts! It will be fairly short, so I'm allowing myself two more characters.

Do you have a request?

Masterlist

French version WATTPAD

A little bonus at the end

Diluc

"Master Diluc! This is..."

Charles had come looking for Diluc on the angel's behalf. The expression on his bartender's face left no doubt as to why he was startled. Diluc abandoned whatever he was doing and rushed to the church where you had been taken...

Dead...

You were dead.

You were dead!

Diluc screamed at the bedside, holding your cold hand in his. Never had his tears flowed more than on that day... Never had a man's pain been so poignant to those who tried to save you... All the anger, all the sadness, all the despair of this man was poured out in his cries. Your body was bruised, covered in blood, the sight was unbearable, and yet he could not leave you...

Diluc was devastated. He would never again see your smile. Never again would he feel your warmth. Never again would life have the same flavor.

His heart had died along with yours.

He felt broken, empty. Nothing motivated him to go on. He had once again lost someone dear to him, the woman of his life, the one for whom his heart beat in his chest. How could he go on without you? He who had been unable to protect you. Without you by his side, Diluc shut himself off from the rest of the world.

Diluc lay in bed, staring at the ring on his finger. He remembered your face, your laughter, he remembered your body wrapped around his at night. He remembered your first meeting, your wedding, your plans for the future...

"I miss you..."

Tears stung his eyes and to keep them from flowing, Diluc put his arm over his face, gritting his teeth to contain his emotions, but the sob that clutched his throat didn't care. Despite himself, his grief exploded. You'd been gone for weeks, buried near his father's grave, and Diluc hadn't come to see you since, unable to grieve. He had holed himself up at home, accepting no help, no pity.

His tears did not stop flowing until exhaustion got the better of him.

"Di-.l...Di-..lu.. Di...luc... Diluc..."

Diluc woke up with a violent jolt, drops of sweat on his face. His hands were shaking and his throat was dry. His breathing was ragged and labored, and he tried to compose himself, looking around the dark room with a watchful eye. During his sleep, a strange sensation had enveloped him. He had felt your presence near him, he had even thought he heard your voice...

To calm himself, Diluc got up from the bed and walked to the balcony of his room. The air outside was cool and the wind was blowing lightly. The young man rested his forearms on the balcony railing, staring blankly at the horizon. Despite his moments of absence, Diluc still noticed the beautiful barn owl sitting comfortably beside him, staring at him with its dark eyes. Curiously, she didn't seem frightened by him and Diluc even tried to pet her, the most incredible thing was that she stretched her neck to let herself be tamed.

"You look so tired my love."

Diluc hurriedly stepped back, looking around to see where that voice so similar to yours was coming from.

"(y/n) ? (y/n)!?"

Diluc felt like he was going crazy, he was sure he heard your voice, he also knew that this warmth, this softness he felt was from you. So why couldn't he see you? Then he observed more intensely this strange owl. She was looking straight into his eyes, a familiar glint shining in them. Was it possible? Was it really you? Diluc's tears rolled down his cheeks again as he approached the animal once more.

"Diluc, I'm so sorry I left you alone..." - His beak hadn't moved, yet Diluc was sure your voice was coming from that bird.

"I... That's impossible... (y/n), is that you?" - you had blinked briefly to indicate that it was. Without a word, Diluc approached you, stroking your head with his fingertips. You closed your eyes, savoring the caresses of the man who in another life had been your husband. Before you knew it, his face was pressed against the top of your head, showering you with tears. - How? I... Never mind, I missed you so much..."

"I promised you Diluc, together forever, even after death. I will stay by your side, I don't want to leave you alone, I don't want to part with you. Never." - He pulled you up onto his forearm to hug you gently to him. He kissed the top of your head tenderly, gently caressing your feathery little body.

"Never..." - It was a new promise between you and Diluc. He vowed to protect you, to never let such a tragedy happen again. Never again would fate take you away from him.

Perhaps he would find a way to make you human again.

Diluc's heart seemed to come alive again, beating wildly in his chest. For the first time in weeks, a beautiful smile lit up his face.

ZHONGLI

No.

It couldn't be.

How could this have happened?

An accident. A simple accident.

Zhongli had come quickly to the funeral home to identify your body. He held your lifeless form close to him, rocking his chest back and forth. He couldn't cry... he couldn't. Why had this happened? Zhongli thought it was a punishment for Celestia for abandoning his post as archon.

He asked the people in the room to leave him alone with you.

Now he had to find the strength within him to say goodbye to you...

Zhongli felt devastated. He had already lost so much in the past. He knew that one day you would leave before him. But not like this, not so soon.

He had failed as a man, as a follower... As a husband.

You were no longer by his side and the void you left in him seemed to have broken him more than he could have imagined.

This was not the first time Zhongli had lost someone dear to him, but your death had touched him deeply, bruised him. He loved you so much. You were his world... Losing you had affected him deeply.

Since your death, several weeks ago, Zhongli was silent. His body was still there, but his mind had shut itself off in the depths of his being. Hu Tao and Zhongli were the ones who attended your funeral, and although no tears flowed from his eyes, his heart broke. He looked like an emotionless puppet. A mere fleshy shell... Hu Tao tried to support him, she who had a better view of death than anyone else in Liyue, but no matter what she said, Zhongli did not seem to hear him.

Until one day Zhongli disappeared from the city completely, leaving behind no letters, no clues.

He wanted to be alone, forever. He wanted to wait patiently for the erosion of the stone to destroy him...

Unconsciously, Zhongli took the path to the stone forest of Guyun.

The path Zhongli took to reach his destination was calm and serene. He didn't stop to admire the scenery of Liyue... it didn't matter to him anymore since you were dead. Yet he couldn't help but notice this family of purple foxes, playing under an apple tree with some fallen fruit. One of them seemed to be watching him, sitting upright with its tail wrapped around him comfortably. Zhongli stopped walking, observing the strange behavior of this animal, known to be fearful. He was even more astonished when it stood up and approached him, rubbing its small body against Zhongli's leg. His heart clenched in his chest and an intense warmth invaded his body, a sensation that reminded him of your presence. For the first time since your death, Zhongli's tears rolled down his cheeks. He repeated your name between sobs, over and over again. He slowly knelt on the ground and took the little fox in his arms to cuddle him. The strange animal rubbed its head against the tear-stained cheek of the former archon, letting out a soft squeak.

"(y/n)... (y/n)... (y/n), I am... sorry... I miss her... So much."

"Don't cry Zhongli..."

Zhongli opened his eyes wide in amazement. Had he really heard your voice? Or was it a figment of his imagination?

"I promised you, we will always be together, even after death..."

Zhongli stared at the fox, who himself was looking at him with a calm expression. The archon's lips trembled with emotion, his gaze shifting to the little creature. The more he looked at the animal's pupils, the more he saw your soul reflected in them... He caressed with a trembling hand under the mouth of the fox who closed his eyes with happiness.

"(y/n)?"

You rubbed your muzzle against his cheek again, wagging your tail happily. Zhongli finally understood, your soul had sought refuge and it was this fox who agreed to give up his body to you. Your will to stay with him had been so strong that not even death could hold you back... He thought, for a very brief moment, that he should not let you live like this, that he should be angry with you, but his heart told him otherwise. Perhaps he would find a way to give you a better body, an immortal body, just like himself?

Zhongli hugged you, letting tears of happiness run down your fur. There was hope in his heart again.

Who could blame him for being a little selfish?

KAEYA

Kaeya didn't believe it. Or rather, he didn't want to believe it.

Dead? Impossible, you had promised him that you would always stay together.

But when he saw your lifeless body lying on one of the beds in the church infirmary, his world was suddenly darkened. Kaeya was screaming at the men and women who were charged with protecting you. How could this have happened?

He tried to get your heart beating again by performing first aid. He begged you to come back, not to abandon him. He yelled at the nurses to do something... but nothing could be changed, you were dead and he had no choice but to accept the harsh reality.

Teyvat had lost his former glow, the pain seemed to drive him mad. The man who was once so smiley, so teasing, had become dark and angry. He couldn't accept it... you were his sunshine, his joy of life. You were his hope for a better tomorrow and he had to leave you alone once for everything to break.

Yes, Kaeya had changed completely. He had turned inward. He blamed the world...

Jean tried to comfort him, as well as Lisa, Amber and Klee who tried to give him back his life, without result. Diluc was also solicited by Jean, but even his brother's words did not seem to bring him back to his senses.

Kaeya was locked up in his office in a slight darkness. He was studying some documents that the order of Favonius had entrusted to him, but he could not concentrate on his reading. Anger was boiling inside him and when he looked up from his documents to calm down, the first thing he saw was a portrait of the two of you that Albedo had given him. Kaeya abruptly got up from his chair, angrily pushing everything off his desk, and when he tried to go after the frame containing the only picture of you he had left, the sound of scratching against the wood of the door stopped him.

Kaeya was breathing heavily, tears welling up in his eyes as he gazed longingly at your portrait. He was so angry at himself for attacking you with that image... He rested his forehead against the glass surface, sobbing silently as he thought of you, your smile, your voice...

"Kaeya..."

The young man gasped, almost dropping the precious object in his hand. He looked around, frantically searching for your presence, even as a ghost. But he was greeted once again by the sound of scratching on his door. Kaeya went to the door, opening it with a jerk. No one was behind it, except for a few knights who were working on their tasks and a... dog?

The animal looked at him intently, wagging its tail at the sight of him.

"Well, are you going to let me in or not?"

Kaeya wasn't dreaming, he had heard your voice clearly through that dog. He looked at the knights around him, but no one seemed to have heard him.

He let the animal into the room, glancing around uncertainly.

"Kaeya, it's okay, it's me, (y/n)."

In shock, Kaeya dropped the frame containing your portrait to the floor. His look was that of a broken, lost man. Squealing slightly, you cautiously approached the young man, your tail beginning to wag once you were near him. You put your two front paws on his thighs. He froze at first, looking at you in horror. Was this a dream? Or a nightmare? He didn't want to believe it because if this was all a dream, then when he woke up the pain would be so unbearable that he wasn't sure he could stay sane.

"I promised you Kaeya. I will always stay with you, even beyond death."

Kaeya moaned, letting his tears flow freely. He fell into his lap, hugging your new body. You let yourself cuddle in his arms while licking his ear. Kaeya laughed. It was a strange feeling, how long had it been since he laughed?

"Why did it have to be a dog? How am I supposed to stay serious when you're in this form? I'm sure you did it on purpose!" - Despite his attempt at humor, Kaeya sobbed again, tightening his arms around you. He would not let go of you again.

He was going to do anything to get you back to him.

XIAO

His world had turned black.

Xiao was speechless. Dead? You were really... dead?

Why did you die? Why? He told you to call his name if you were in danger, so why didn't you!

Anger and despair made him tremble. As soon as he heard about your accident, he rushed to your side. You were exploring ruins that were too old, too unstable. Nothing could have saved you from the fall that had caused you fatal injuries. Why didn't you call him...?

You were lying in bed at the Wangshu Inn. A light white veil covered your face and your clothes were stained with blood. Xiao dropped his spear, letting it fall noisily to the ground. His hands and lips were trembling. He couldn't believe his eyes, he never imagined he would see this, at least not this early in your relationship. Verr tried to console him, but Xiao slapped the hand she was holding out to him hard. His eyes never left your side and every second he was in the same room as you, his soul was breaking a little more.

Humans were so fragile, he knew that and yet... he loved you so much, he couldn't conceive of his life without you by his side. And now? He was alone... Xiao shooed away everyone in the room. Once he was alone, he sat down beside you, gently removing the cloth from your face to take one last look at you. You looked so peaceful, as if you were simply asleep. Xiao clenched his fists, holding back the lump in his throat, and when he saw your wound, the one that had been fatal to you, Xiao screamed, crying like he had never cried before.

This world was so cruel...

Weeks passed, and since your disappearance, the Yaksha had been rare. Nobody had seen him since the tragedy. He continued to do his duty to Liyue, but his soul was falling further and further into madness. Xiao let himself be consumed by corruption, forgetting the pain, forgetting the sorrow. If he couldn't have you near him, then what was the point of fighting?

Xiao rarely returned to the Wangshu Inn, the memory of your death was too deeply engraved in him. But sometimes he would sit on the roof of the inn and watch the sky as he used to do with you. When Xiao looked at the moon, his hand dreamily rubbed the engagement rings he had hung around his neck. He couldn't bear to see it on his hand anymore, knowing that you were no longer of this world, but he couldn't resign himself to parting with it either... He thought of you constantly... And every time he did, regret, resentment and anger would come over him. Sometimes he would catch himself thinking that he should never have been near you, that he should never have become attached to you, let alone loved you... and tears would immediately fall from his eyes. How could he think that? The little time you had spent together had made him so happy, he could never forget you, never deny your existence. He wanted to see you one last time, he wanted to tell you that he loved you... He wanted to ask you never to leave him alone.

Xiao's tears were so beautiful, so sad. The wishes in his heart were so pure that even the gods felt sorry for him. Xiao was inconsolable, in his sorrow, he did not notice the little ball of hair that was snuggled up to him and purring.

"I love you too Xiao, I would never leave you alone..."

Xiao hurriedly turned his head towards the little creature lying in a ball at his side. Had he been dreaming? Or maybe exhaustion was giving him hallucinations? He gently took the kitten in his hands and placed it in front of his face. He looked into its eyes, probing the soul of this strange animal that had the audacity to lie beside him. A small glimmer in his eyes made his being tingle, something about this creature reminded him of... you?

"Xiao." - He opened his eyes wide. It was you! It was really you! - "I'm sorry I left you alone. I'm here now..." - you had given him an affectionate headbutt while purring loudly. Xiao didn't dare to speak for fear of waking up from a wonderful dream, so to express himself, he snuggled you against his face, affectionately kissing the top of your head. His sobs began again. Was it happiness? He didn't care about the tears, he wanted to hold your little body to him, to feel your nostalgic warmth against his heart. He would protect you from the cruelty of this world. And if you could have been reborn in this form then he would find a way to bring you back to life in a humanoid form...

With a trembling voice, Xiao whispered in your ear:

"I love you (y/n), don't leave me alone anymore..."

VENTI

"Venti! It's (y/n)! She is ..."

Passersby heard the sound of a lyre shattering on the ground.

When Venti heard the news, he was playing a ballad in the streets of Mondstadt. The shock made him drop his instrument and it broke on the ground. It was not his usual lyre, but the one you had given him.

It was Kaeya who told him the sad news. Your body had been brought back by the knights of Favonius while the church's healers tried, in vain, to bring you back to life. By the time Venti reached the entrance to the city, where your body lay on the ground, it was too late. Your body was cold, lifeless, colorless.

He knelt beside you, caressing your hair, your face.

"(y/n)... please wake up..." - Your silence forced a sob into the anemo archon's throat.- "Don't leave me alone (y/n), please!" - Venti's tears fell from his eyes to crash into your lifeless face. Venti looked for help in the eyes of the caregivers around him, but they all looked away. Venti burst out, resting his forehead against yours, begging you to come back again and again. His cries and tears left no one indifferent... How could they be when they knew the love between you two?

Days passed and your body was buried in the cemetery of Mondstadt. The streets of the city were strangely quiet, the songs of the famous bard no longer echoed. Venti spent his days sitting by your grave. He no longer laughed, no longer sang. You were his inspiration, his muse, you were the love of his life. Venti no longer had the strength to go on without you. He felt so empty, so alone. How could the world go on without you?

He was holding the broken lyre that you had given him. Kaeya had picked it up for him, thinking that he should at least keep this memory of you.

Venti didn't want a souvenir, he wanted you. Why did you have to leave so soon? He didn't have time to tell you everything that was on his mind. This world was so unfair, so cruel. You didn't deserve to die so soon. You were his source of joy and happiness and now he had nothing left... except a broken memory. Venti closed his eyes for a brief moment, letting the wind lull his soul. Perhaps he should sink back into a deep sleep and forget the pain and sorrow. But he would not be able to think of you again and then you would be gone for good. No, Venti didn't want to forget you, he wanted to keep your image engraved in his heart. He wanted to remember the sound of your voice, its softness and warmth...

Venti felt something jump out at him. But he didn't care, he just wanted to think about you, your image, your mimicry, your laugh. All these memories brought tears to his eyes.

"Venti. Open your eyes. Venti!"

Venti slowly opened his eyelids, he thought he had dreamed of you. Your voice had sounded so real to him... When he looked down at his chest, he saw a ball of fur lying on top of him. He blinked a few times before scrambling to his feet and holding the cat in his arms. Venti was allergic to cats and he couldn't understand why his body didn't react...

When he realized that this cat was not triggering a sneezing fit, he brought it closer to his face to study it. The animal was purring in his arms, staring intently into the bard's eyes.

"Give me a hug Venti! I missed you so much."

He hadn't been dreaming...it really was your voice. Venti's tears flowed from his eyes unintentionally. He slowly pulled you closer to him, gently wrapping his arms around you. He slowly stroked your fur, becoming more and more aware of what was happening.

"I made you a promise Venti. I would never leave you alone... ever."

A form of reincarnation. Your soul had borrowed that cat's body to stay with him... Venti thought about the laws of Celestia, about the exorcists who might come after you. But none of that mattered right now. He would protect you, keep you close to him. No one could take you away from him, not even death.

He would finally be able to tell you everything that was on his mind. He would pour out all the love and passion he felt for you, as long as you stayed by his side.

But first, he had to ask you a question... Why did you have to be a cat?!

ALBEDO

His chair fell to the ground.

No.

No, no, no.

Not you.

Albedo rushed out of his laboratory. His heart had never beaten so fast in his chest. It could only be a mistake. Just this morning he was kissing you goodbye. You were in his arms, smiling and saying "see you tonight" with tenderness.

It could only be... a mistake.

Your body was on one of the beds in the infirmary, covered with a large white sheet. Your hand, the one with your wedding ring on it, was hanging off the bed. Barbara, who was one of the first to come to you to try to save you, gave the young alchemist a tearful look.

"(y/n)..." - Albedo's voice trembled.

Albedo approached cautiously. Once at your side, he slowly lifted the sheet to see your face. He was frozen, pale. He didn't know how he should react. Anger? Sadness? Everything was mixed up... He had never been very good with human emotions, but with you he had learned so much. He felt a hand gently grab his arm. Barbara looked at him with compassion.

"Her last words were for you Master Albedo. She wanted you to know that she loved you and...that she was sorry."

"Get out."

Barbara released her grip on the young man's arm. She gave a questioning look to the other caretakers who were unsure how to react. Barbara didn't want to leave him alone, the pain and sorrow she felt in him was upsetting her.

"Get out!"

It was probably the first time anyone had heard him scream in anger. Everyone in the room left without insisting. Albedo looked at you with glassy eyes. He took your hand in his and placed it on your chest. He sadly caressed your hand...

"You are so cold (y/n)..." - The tears that had gathered in his eyes fell to his feet. "Don't go... stay..." - Albedo had never felt such pain... The sobs that escaped from him were filled with despair. Albedo pressed his hand against his forehead, closing his eyes in silent prayer. "(y/n)...don't go..."

Since your death, Albedo had not returned home. He spent most of his time in his laboratory studying the old formula. Succrose tried to get him to come out a little, but the cold look of the young man always paralyzed her on the spot. Albedo was looking for a way to bring you back. If his master had been able to create a homunculus, why not him? All you had to do was create a body and attach your soul to it...

Some knew what Albedo was up to. Venti was one of those who tried to dissuade him from playing with life, and the alchemist threatened him not to interfere with his research, because after all, no one could understand what he was feeling.

He was physically and mentally exhausted. He allowed himself very few breaks, because every minute spent away from you destroyed him a little more.

Albedo sat in the armchair by the open window, studying some of the documents related to his research.

Fatigue weighed on his body and his eyelids slowly drooped until sleep overcame him.

For the first time in a long time, Albedo dreamed of you. You were sitting in a field of flowers, admiring the Cecilia that grew there. Albedo admired you with love, you were so beautiful, so sweet, that even the butterflies fluttered around you. One of them came to rest on his hand, sharing with him the soft bluish glow it gave off. When he looked up from the butterfly to redirect his protective gaze to you, you had simply... disappeared. Albedo gradually lost his smile, the dream was turning into a nightmare... he remembered... he remembered... you were dead. The angelic landscape of the fields was gradually engulfed by a fog of darkness. Only a fragment of his dream remained, the reassuring glow of the butterfly still emanating from his hand, in the exact spot where it had landed earlier. Albedo gently squeezed his hand over the light before opening it again to give birth to a new life.

Albedo woke up abruptly, his breathing was rapid and difficult. An excruciating headache took him as the memories of his dream came back to him. Tears filled his eyes as he saw your smile and heard your voice. It was so hard, so hard not to have you around anymore. He wished he had never woken up...

Albedo blinked, fighting back the tears that wanted to flow. That's when he noticed it... A butterfly had taken advantage of his sleep to land on the back of his hand. It looked exactly like the one in his dream. Albedo studied it carefully, the blue glow, the softness that the creature gave off, everything was identical... He understood then that this butterfly was not a simple insect, but a wandering soul...

"I promised you" - These were the last words you said to him before he woke up. Everything was clear now.

" (Y/....N) ?

"Albedo, it's okay. I am here now. I'm sorry I left you alone." - Albedo's tears finally flowed. The darkness that he had been running into dissipated. He would finally see your smile again.

KAZUHA

The weather was stormy.

The rain was pouring down.

The sky perfectly expressed the state Kazuha was in.

He had been away for only a few days and when he returned, he found your house completely destroyed. A landslide had swept away your home and you with it. Your lifeless body was found in the rubble by villagers.

At first Kazuha hoped that you were still alive, that it wasn't you who had been found but another young woman, and that you might be somewhere in town. He was afraid, so afraid. He ran as fast as he could to reach the port of Liyue, hoping to find help, information, and above all, your presence. A feeling of anguish twisted his stomach. You weren't dead, you were fine, he kept repeating to himself.

However...

Yet when he arrived at the port of Liyue, he was greeted by guards who were both relieved to see him alive and distressed by the news they had to give him...

Your body had been found lifeless under the rubble. You had been surprised in your sleep by the collapse of the cliff weakened by the recent storms. Kazuha remained silent, he couldn't believe it. He ran to the funeral home, hoping they were wrong. It couldn't have been you.

Why couldn't it be you?

Why didn't he take you with him!

Hu Tao welcomed the young wanderer, offering his condolences before taking him to see you for the last time... Kazuha was livid, he wanted to vomit, scream, break everything he could. Yet he stood there, looking at your deathly pale face. He had just lost another loved one and he couldn't help but think that it was all his fault. If he had been there, this wouldn't have happened, if he had taken you with him, you would still be alive today. Kazuha collapsed to his knees, letting his tears flow freely. He felt like he was drowning in the abyss...

Kazuha had returned to Inazuma, bringing your ashes with him. He would take you absolutely everywhere on his travels, the thought of leaving you in Liyue was unbearable for him.

He sat down at the foot of a maple tree to admire the red leaves that fell from it with you. Kazuha loved their color, especially at this time of the year when the trees were starting to lose their leaves. The young wanderer looked at the landscape silently, clutching the small urn against him. Sometimes he would talk to you, describing what he saw and sometimes he would recite a haiku inspired by nature. He felt so lonely since you left... having that urn with him somehow helped him to overcome his grief. He felt that somehow... you were still with him.

Kazuha grabbed a maple leaf that was being carried by the wind, he looked at it intently, twirling it between his fingers.

"I always thought red looked good on you (y/n)." - He sighed, letting go of the leaf so that it could quietly continue its journey. The colors, once so beautiful, now seemed bland and sad.

Kazuha opened his eyes wide when he noticed that a scarlet finch had taken advantage of his inattention to land fearlessly on his knee, admiring his face with tranquility. He didn't dare move, for fear of scaring the little creature.

"Red suits you better my little heart."

Kazuha almost dropped the urn from his arms. Did he really just hear this bird talking to him with YOUR voice? And that nickname that sparrow had used was the one you used every time for him.

"Did you... just talk?"

"Of course I did, sweetheart."

"That's impossible... that voice... (y/n)?" - The scarlet finch flew up to land on Kazuha's shoulder.

"Do you remember our promise? I will stay with you, no matter what form I take, I will be there."

Kazuha gently placed the urn on the ground and then came to caress your head with his fingertips. He could hardly believe it, but he was not dreaming, everything was real and even nature was telling him the truth. Kazuha could not help but cry with happiness.

The emptiness you had left in him was filling up again.

"Well. How about one last trip Kazu?"

As Kazuha's tears ran gently down his cheeks, he thought that at last the world was slowly returning to the colors of life.

CHILDE

"What did you just say... ? " - The rage and anger could be heard in Childe's voice. The Fatui in front of him recoiled in fear.

"I... There was an attack... (Y/n)... did not survive his injuries." - The thud of a broken table made the trembling man step back further.

"YOU ARE LYING! How could this happen?! I asked you to look after her! To protect her!" - Childe's screams could be heard even in the streets of Liyue. - "Where is she?!"

Childe rushed to the place that Agent Fatui had pointed out to him. Never had he run so fast, never had fear gripped him so tightly.

It couldn't be.

It was impossible.

You couldn't be dead.

He had sworn to protect you.

He had sworn!

But when he saw your body on the ground, livid and lifeless, his howls of grief brought him back to reality. You had died alone, without him by your side. Childe could not hold back his tears or his cries, how could he when his heart was breaking into a thousand pieces? He held you in his arms, covering his clothes with your blood and yours with his tears. When one of his men tried to talk to him, all the rage and anger that was boiling inside him suddenly burst out. He respectfully laid your body on the ground before slaughtering them all, one by one. All that remained of them was a pool of blood.

He would never forgive himself for what had happened to you...

You had not been by his side for a month, day for day. Life without you was... so bland, without flavor. No matter how hard he fought to forget his pain, nothing could make him feel better, not even his precious family.

He often came to visit you at your grave to lay flowers or to talk with you. Sometimes he hoped to hear an answer, but only silence greeted him.

Childe walked through the streets of Liyue with a blank stare and no light. The city seemed so still and silent, Childe felt as if the world had stopped turning. He seemed absent, his empty eyes just staring at the stone floor. Yet his gaze was drawn to one of the large pools decorating the city's heights. Among all the fish swimming there, one in particular caught his attention. It was a magnificent koi carp with brilliant colors. It seemed to be looking at him intensely, moving towards him little by little. Childe, intrigued by the strange animal, stopped and knelt down in front of the pond. He slowly dipped his hand into the water, making slight movements to draw the fish towards him. The carp rubbed against his hand gently, and Childe was surprised to see it close its eyes to enjoy the contact.

"Childe..."

Fatui opened his eyes wide. Had that fish just spoken to him? That voice... it sounded so much like yours. Impossible... Had it sunk so low as to hear you through a common fish? Childe straightened up, preparing to leave this place.

"Childe... don't go..."

Again, the harbinger stopped, frozen by your call. He looked left and right, searching for people around him who would have heard your voice as well, but Childe seemed to be the only one able to hear you.

"Childe... I'm sorry... for leaving you... alone. I promised you... always... together."

You spoke slowly, as if the water prevented you from expressing yourself properly. Tears stung the young man's eyes, why were you apologizing? He was the one who needed to be forgiven! He came back to you, dipping his hand in the water again to see you snuggling back in. He stroked you tenderly, admiring each of your golden scales. He couldn't leave you here, he had to take you home, to the pond in your garden. And above all, he had to find a way to get you out of this body so small, so fragile. He couldn't bear to lose you a second time.

"(Y/n), forgive me. I will bring you home, I promise."

Ganyu felt the emptiness invade her when one of Lady Ningguang's secretaries had come to warn her of the accident that had been fatal. The papers she was carrying at that moment fell out of her hands and scattered on the floor in front of her. Ganyu did not move, her lips trembling as horror overtook her.

Dead?

No... no... she refused to believe it. Just this morning she woke up in your arms, happy and smiling. And now she learned that she would never see you again? That she would never feel the warmth of your arms again? Ganyu couldn't stand the thought, and to be sure, she rushed to see you.

You were lying on one of the beds in the funeral home. Ganyu approached slowly, trembling and hesitating, even now she refused to believe it. Zhongli, who was present in the funeral room with Hu Tao, took her hand affectionately to accompany her to your body. And when she saw your face, Ganyu broke down. Tears could not stop flowing as she caressed your lifeless face.

"Don't go... don't go... don't go!" - That was the only thing she repeated. Ganyu had lost loved ones in the past, but you, you were unique, unparalleled in her life...

She felt Hu Tao's comforting hand rubbing her back, but nothing, absolutely nothing could ease her pain.

Ganyu had left Liyue without saying anything, returning to live in the quiet and solitude of Aozang Mountain. She could not bear to live in Liyue port, so many places reminded her of you. You had been for her an inexhaustible source of happiness. She felt beautiful, desirable and loved under your eyes. But today...

She didn't sleep anymore.

She didn't eat anymore.

She was alone. Lost.

And deeply unhappy.

Her tears flowed every day without you. Cloudbreath tried to comfort her as best she could, to no avail. She spent her days sitting on the rocks looking at the horizon. Life had lost its flavor. Ganyu was so attached to you, so in love, that losing you had made her totally amorphous.

Days and nights passed. The endless cycle of life continued, cruel and merciless. When the sun rose, she observed its course. When night fell, she was content to watch the stars and the Milky Way go by.

But six months after your death, something unexpected happened.

Footsteps approached her, slowly and confidently. The rhythm of the footsteps reminded her of an animal. But...

"Ganyu."

That voice... Ganyu's eyes filled with tears as memories resurfaced within her. Her eyes, once apathetic, came to life. She didn't dare to turn around for fear of finding nothing behind her. Her imagination had already played so many tricks on her... But when your voice called to her for the second time, she let her sobs out, finally looking back to meet the gaze of a great majestic stag, as white as the purity of the snow.

"I've finally found you. I missed you so much my lily."

She couldn't believe her eyes. She slowly got up from her seat and then cautiously approached you.

"(y/n)...? Is it really you? You... have come back... I..."

"Come closer. Unfortunately I can't hold you anymore... but I can feel you. I promised you that. I would stay by your side, no matter what fate has in store for us... I would always come back."

Ganyu stroked the silky fur that lay along your neck before wrapping her arms around it. She stifled her sobs against you.

"I love you (y/n)."

"I love you Ganyu. Forever."

Razor had smelled blood.

Your blood.

He was waiting patiently for you at the wolves' domain. A shiver of fear ran through his body when he heard your voice calling him, along with the strong smell of blood. Alerted by your screams, Razor had run to you. But he was too late, you were dead, lying in your own blood while bandits attacked the travelers you had defended. The wolf man could hardly breathe, he felt his mind wandering and his fury rising. He was not aware that he was now carrying his blade in his hands and bringing it down on your killers.

Once he had disposed of each bandit, Razor knelt beside you. He stroked your face with a trembling hand before straightening you up to embrace you. He had failed to protect you. He had not... succeeded, and now you were dead. Razor held you so tightly to his chest, no one could have pulled you away from him. His screaming and crying had alerted some Mondstadt soldiers who were patrolling the area. The men tried to convince Razor to take you into town so that your body could be delivered to the church. But he growled like a wolf in a rage, threatening with an animalistic stare anyone who dared to approach you. Razor took you in his arms before fleeing into the forest, where your body was supposed to rest...

Months passed.

Razor had isolated himself from the rest of the world, living far from men, far from his pack. Lisa had tried several times to talk to him, to help him grieve, but every time she tried to approach him, Razor pushed her away with the ferocity of an animal.

He had lost all ability to express joy or happiness. He was in a state of lethargy and when night came, he could not stop his tears from flowing. You were his lupus, his family, the love of his life. You were his joy, his smiles, his peace.

He was so deeply sad.

Razor was always honest with his emotions. It was impossible for him to deny the deep hurt your death had caused him.

Alone.

So alone...

The cave where Razor had taken refuge was empty of life. It was here that he waited for you whenever you came to visit him... and he kept waiting. But what was he waiting for? When Razor heard the sound of a twig breaking under foot, his reaction was immediate. He jumped up on his legs, claymore in hand to fend off the unwanted guest. However, the smell that accompanied the stranger was pleasantly familiar to him...

"I knew you would be waiting for me here."

The young man's eyes opened wide. Before him stood a she-wolf with silver fur. Her eyes gave off softness, warmth...your warmth.

"I was able to speak with Andrius. My wolf, forgive me for leaving you alone all this time."

Seeing that Razor, still in shock at your coming, remained frozen where he was, you cautiously approached him. You gently rubbed your head against his trembling hand.

"I'm here, just like I promised you. I will always stand by you Razor."

Slowly, his hand stroked you. He dropped to his knees, now finding himself at your level. His arms held you close as his sobs echoed through the cave. You tenderly placed your mouth on his shoulder, licking the tip of his ear tenderly.

Aaah yes, he remembered now... that feeling so... human. Love was such a precious feeling...

BONUS

Scaramouche remained frozen, looking with a black eye at the flunky who had told him of your death.

After a long silence, a crazy laugh escaped from his lips. The fatui kneeling before him did not understand. He had just given him terrible news and he was... was laughing?

But that was not knowing Scaramouche very well. He suddenly stopped laughing, grabbing the man by the neck and squeezing him with breathtaking force. The hatred in his eyes was such that it could have made any army flee.

"Didn't I ask you to protect her? Your lives mean nothing to me compared to HER. And you're telling me she's... dead?" - His voice was as cold as the blade of a sword. "Unforgivable... Unforgivable... UNFORGIVABLE!"-The dreadful sound of bones cracking filled the room. The lackey fell to the ground, dead as Scaramouche reached the place where your body had been taken.

The Harbinger's fury drove him to slaughter every man and woman who had the misfortune to cross his path. When he entered the room, those inside recoiled in fear.

"GET OUT!" Which they did without question.

Scaramouche slowly approached the bed where your body had been lying. His cold gaze scanned you... He was boiling inside, his rage didn't seem to be able to be extinguished. However, Scaramouche had the most gentle gesture towards you. His hand caressed your cheek, moved your hair, embraced your cold hand in his. He forbade himself to cry, it was not in his nature. He was known as a cruel, cold, angry man, but with you... he had learned to love gentleness, kindness and love. He would have been willing to sacrifice everything for you... Then why did you have to die!? He clenched his jaw, trying, but failing, to stop his tears from flowing.

He hated you.

He loved you.

You had broken your promise. You promised him you would always be by his side.

He hated you.

He loved you.

He needed you by his side. How was he going to get by without you now? He wouldn't see your stupid smile. He wouldn't hear you spouting nonsense about love. He wouldn't feel your arms around him in an embarrassing display of affection.

He didn't want to... live without you by his side. You knew how to bring out his soft, gentle side that was so detestable to him and yet... he loved every moment with you.

He loved you.

More than anyone else in the world...

Months passed and Scaramouche became colder and crueler than ever. His minions ran away from him, afraid of being killed in one of their superior's crazy moments. Without you to guide him, to soften him, Scaramouche was caught in an endless cycle of hatred and killing. He hated the whole world, and the only reason the Tsaritsa kept him around was his ability to eliminate his enemies.

Since your death, the harbinger understood the true meaning of the word "loneliness". You had left a gaping hole in his chest which he filled with cruelty and violence. That was all that was left of him. Now that you were gone, he was a shadow, a killing machine.

Scaramouche looked at his reflection on the surface of the water, hating what he saw. A weak being, consumed by his emotions. He hated imagining your reflection beside him... you were dead, and nothing could change that. He threw a stone into the water, causing ripples on the surface that blurred his reflection. He did not see the little creature sitting quietly on his shoulder, watching his every move. It was only when she made a noise with a hazelnut that she stuffed in her cheeks that Scaramouche noticed her. Instinctively, his dagger quickly found its way into her hands, threatening the little squirrel with its point.

"You're always so nervous, darling."

Scaramouche froze, his round eyes staring at the animal as if he had just seen a ghost. The only person who had the courage to call him "my darling" was you. And then it was just a simple vermin on his shoulder, it could not speak! With your voice to boot!

"Geez, there go the squirrels talking now. I'm really going crazy."

"You're not crazy. I'm really talking. It's me, don't you recognize my voice?"

Scaramouche hesitated. Was his madness making him lose his mind? Or were you really talking to him through this nutcracker?

"(Y/n)?"

You rubbed your swollen cheeks against his.

"Tch! You're always so... sticky."

Scaramouche was finally realizing. You were really there, on his shoulder rubbing against his cheek. He was screaming at you like he used to. Yet, his heart was warming with every tender gesture you had towards him.

"I promised you I would never leave you." - Despite his protests, you continued to rub tenderly against him.

The young man said nothing more. His eyes glistened with tears.

He loved you.

"Why did you have to come back as a squirrel!? I'm going to look ridiculous in front of my soldiers!"

Despite everything he said to you, he wasn't planning to take you away from him for a moment. Ridiculous or not, he would never take you away from him again.

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shkspr · 3 years

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hi. on your post where you may or may not have ended on 'moffat is either your angel or your devil' did you have maybe an elaboration on that somewhere that i could possibly hear about. i'm very much a capaldi era stan and i've never tried to defend the matt smith era even though it had delightful moments sometimes so i wonder where that puts me. i'd love to hear your perspective on moffat as a person with your political perspective. -nicole

hi ok sorry i took so long to respond to this but i dont think you know how LOADED this question is for me but i am so happy to elaborate on that for you. first a few grains of salt to flavor your understanding of the whole situation: a. im unfairly biased against moffat bc im a davies stan and a tennant stan; b. i still very much enjoy and appreciate moffat era who for many reasons; and c. i hate moffat on a personal level far more than i could ever hate his work.

the thing is that its all always gonna be a bit mixed up bc i have to say a bunch of seemingly contradictory things in a row. for instance, a few moffat episodes are some of my absolute favorites of the rtd era, AND the show went way downhill when moffat took over, AND the really good episodes he wrote during the rtd era contained the seeds of his destruction.

like i made that post about the empty child/the doctor dances and it holds true for blink and thats about it bc the girl in the fireplace and silence in the library/forest of the dead are good but not nearly on the same level, and despite the fact that i like them at least nominally, they are also great examples of everything i hate about moffat and how he approached dw as a whole.

basically. doctor who is about people. there are many things about moffats tenure as showrunner that i think are a step up from rtd era who! actual gay people, for one! but i think that can likely be attributed mostly to an evolving Society as opposed to something inherent to him and his work, seeing as rtd is literally gay, and the existence of queer characters in moffats work doesnt mean the existence of good queer characters (ill give him bill but thats it!)

i have a few Primary Grievances with moffat and how he ran dw. all of them are things that got better with capaldi, but didnt go away. they are as follows:

moffat projects his own god complex onto the doctor

rtd era who had a doctor with a god complex. you cant ever be the doctor and not have a god complex. the problem with moffats era specifically is that the god complex was constant and unrepentant and was seen as a fundamental personality trait of the doctor rather than a demon he has to fight. he has the Momence where you feel bad for him, the Momence where he shows his humility or whatever and youre reminded that he doesnt want to be the lonely god, but those are just. moments. in a story where the doctor thinks hes the main character. rtd era doctor was aware that he wasnt the main character. he had to be an authority sometimes and he had to be the loner and he had to be sad about it, but he ultimately understood that he was expendable in a narrative sense.

this is how you get lines like “were the thin fat gay married anglican marines, why would we need names as well?” from the same show that gave you the gut punch moment at the end of midnight when they realize that nobody asked the hostess for her name. and on the one hand, thats a small sticking point, but on the other hand, its just one small example of the simple disregard that moffat has for humanity.

incidentally, this is a huge part of why sherlock sucked so bad: moffats main characters are special bc theyre so much bigger and better than all the normal people, and thats his downfall as a showrunner. he thinks that his audience wants fucking sheldon cooper when what they want is people.

like, ok. think of how many fantastic rtd era eps are based in the scenario “what if the doctor wasnt there? what if he was just out of commission for a bit?” and how those eps are the heart of the show!! bc theyre about people being people!! the thing is that all of the rtd era companions would have died for the doctor but he understood and the story understood that it wasnt about him.

this is like. nine sending rose home to save her life and sacrifice his own vs clara literally metaphysically entwining her existence w the doctor. ten also sending rose with her family to save her life vs river being raised from infancy to be obsessed w the doctor and then falling in love w him. martha leaving bc she values herself enough to make that decision vs amy being treated like a piece of meat.

and this is simultaneously a great callback to when i said that moffats episodes during the rtd era sometimes had the same problems as his show running (bc girl in the fireplace reeks of this), and a great segue into the next grievance.

moffat hates women

he hates women so fucking much. g-d, does steven moffat ever hate women. holy shit, he hates women. especially normal human women who prioritize their normal human lives on an equal or higher level than the doctor. moffat hated rose bc she wasnt special by his standards. the empty child/the doctor dances is the nicest he ever treated her, and she really didnt do much in those eps beyond a fuck ton of flirting.

girl in the fireplace is another shining example of this. youve got rose (who once again has another man to keep her busy, bc moffat doesnt think shes good enough for the doctor) sidelined for no reason only to be saved by the doctor at the last second or whatever. and then youve got reinette, who is pretty and powerful and special!

its just. moffat thinks that the doctor is as shallow and selfish as he is. thats why he thinks the doctor would stay in one place with reinette and not with rose. bc moffat is shallow and sees himself in the doctor and doesnt think he should have to settle for someone boring and normal.

not to mention rose met the doctor as an adult and chose to stay with him whereas reinette is. hm. introduced to the doctor as a child and grows up obsessed with him.

does that sound familiar? it should! bc it is also true of amy and river. and all of them are treated as viable romantic pairings. bc the only women who deserve the doctor are the ones whose entire existence revolves around him. which includes clara as well.

genuinely i think that at least on some level, not even necessarily consciously, that bill was a lesbian in part bc capaldi was too old to appeal to mainstream shippers. like twelve/clara is still a thing but not as universally appealing as eleven/clara but i am just spitballing. but i think they weighed the pros and cons of appealing to the woke crowd over the het shippers and found that gay companion was more profitable. anyway the point is to segue into the next point, which is that moffat hates permanent consequences.

moffat hates permanent consequences

steven moffat does not know how to kill a character. honestly it feels like hes doing it on purpose after a certain point, like he knows he has this habit and hes trying to riff on it to meme his own shit, but it doesnt work. it isnt funny and it isnt harmless, its bad writing.

the end of the doctor dances is so poignant and so meaningful and so fucking good bc its just this once! everybody lives, just this once! and then he does p much the same thing in forest of the dead - this one i could forgive, bc i do think that preserving those peoples consciousnesses did something for the doctor as a character, it wasnt completely meaningless. but everything after that kinda was.

rory died so many times its like. get a hobby lol. amy died at least once iirc but it was all a dream or something. clara died and was erased from the doctors memory. river was in prison and also died. bill? died. all of them sugarcoated or undone or ignored by the narrative to the point of having effectively no impact on the story. the point of a major character death is that its supposed to have a point. and you could argue that a piece of art could be making a point with a pointless death, ie. to put perspective on it and remind you that bad shit just happens, but with moffat the underlying message is always “i can do whatever i want, nothing is permanent or has lasting impact ever.”

basically, with moffat, tragedy exists to be undone. and this was a really brilliant, really wonderful thing in the doctor dances specifically bc it was the doctor clearly having seen his fair share of tragedy that couldnt be helped, now looking on his One Win with pride and delight bc he doesnt get wins like this! and then moffat proceeded to give him the same win over and over and over and over. nobody is ever dead. nobody is ever unable to be saved. and if they are, really truly dead and/or gone, then thats okay bc moffat has decided that [insert mitigating factor here]*

*the mitigating factor is usually some sort of computerized database of souls.

i can hear the moffat stans falling over themselves to remind me that amy and rory definitely died, and they did - after a long and happy life together, they died of old age. i dont consider that a character death any more than any other character choosing to permanently leave the tardis.

and its not just character deaths either, its like, everything. the destruction of gallifrey? never mind lol! character development? scrapped! the same episode four times? lets give it a fifth try and hope nobody notices. bc he doesnt know how to not make the doctor either an omnipotent savior or a self-pitying failure.

it is in nature of doctor who, i believe, for the doctor to win most of the time. like, it wouldnt be a very good show if he didnt win most of the time. but it also wouldnt be a very good show if he won all of the time. my point is that moffats doctor wins too often, and when he doesnt win, it feels empty and hollow rather than genuinely humbling, and you know hes not gonna grow from it pretty much at all.

so like. again, i like all of doctor who i enjoy all of it very much. i just think that steven moffat is a bad show runner and a decent writer at times. and it is frustrating. and im not here to convince or convert anyone im just living my truth. thank you for listening.

#sorry if this is repetitive or makes no sense or if i got some details of the show wrong #i simply couldnt be bothered to put too much effort into this post #lest it become a research paper and take me several weeks to answer #anyway thats all my opinions #dw #ok to rb

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latenightdecaf · 3 years

Text

Entry 7 - Summer of Vulnerability

part of let the pile of good things grow series - series masterlist

previous entry here

Yoongi x reader

Ft. nonidol!bts (glimpse of ex-boyfriend!namjoon)

Producer!yoongi, roommate!yoongi, soft!yoongi

slow burn romance, friendship, slice of life

series of drabbles/one shots

warnings: alcohol consumption

a/n: okay so here goes y/n remembering his ex!joon also will never get over of in the soop yoongi! can’t wait for the new season. Thank you guys for reading! 🙈

word count: 2,546

Went home from the grocery and some of their wines are on sale so you got carried away and bought 8 bottles and to your surprise, Yoongi’s cooking steak. “oh my God!” You exclaimed as soon as you saw him cooking in the kitchen with paperbag of wines in your arms. Yoongi looked at you with a confused face.

“Did you just read my mind or what??! There’s a sale on the corner deli and…” raising both of your hands as if surrendering, “okay don’t judge me yet but i got a little carried away.”

“A little carried away? You looked like the world’s going to run out of wine tomorrow.”

He smiled on your disclaimer and shaking his head as he paid his attention back to his steak.

“No.” You sighed. “Nothing went my way today, not at all—but i dont want to think about it. I’m psyching myself out of it you see, or better yet i’m drowning myself on these babies.” As you drank your first glass empty. “My eternal companion, the love of my life…”

He turned to your direction, only to see you hugging the bottles of wine that you bought.

“Come on clear the tables, your babies are not going anywhere.” He declared as he puts down 3 steaks and some aglio olio with honestly way too much garlic because it’s Yoongi.

“I didn’t saw you made pasta also. I am so happy now.” You happily exclaimed as you took a bite of your new favorite steak. “But why the 3 steaks? You hungry?”

He sat in front of you, filling your glass with wine and his too.

“You need food before you chug them all up. I’m not gonna clean up your mess. So you better get it together today. I tell you.” He scolded you.

“Sure sure.” As you immediately devour the pasta he made.

One bottle of wine down. He let you listened to a ‘sketch’ he’s been working on lately. Carefully studying your already flushed face for any reaction. He does this sometimes, ask for your opinion even though you have zero idea about music and producing or anything related to that for that matter.

All he considers is whether you winced at the melody of it, or you nod and eventually smile as it goes. But this time you’re just staring blankly in your wine glass, circling it repeatedly as the sketch ended at exactly 2 mins and 19 secs. And when it ended you looked straight at him.

“This looks like it’s almost done right?” You commented. “Yeah.” As he gulps on his wine, emptying another glass.

“And you wrote the lyrics also?” He nodded.

You looked away and sighed. “It’s too beautiful—Sad and in pain, feels tormented also but beautiful.”

He blinked several times at your words. You’ve heard several of his sketches before and you’d just always say, ‘it sounds good, but Yoongi—i have no idea about music. Zero.’ But he’d let you hear it anyway for couple more times and he’d smile at your ignorant reactions.

This time however, doesn’t seem like a laughing matter. Something about your words got his heart beating faster and he has no idea if its just the amount of alcohol he has consumed by now or just you.

You clinked on his empty glass. And asked, “You want more?” He nodded. And you poured him another. “Remember the girl, I introduced to you before?” You stopped and think for a second and it dawned to you. “Hell yeah, I remember.”

“She’s actually my ex-girlfriend.” He declared.

“Well that I did not expected. The ex part. I can tell though she looks really special.”

“Well, we’re together for a while. But now we’re just co-workers for this debut song of a girl I told you about before. That’s why she was here also the last time, we were looking through old sketches that I have after the meeting. We actually finished that quite early. ”

He never really talked that much about himself. He’s good at talking about work, which for you is already more than enough. You know that despite your living situation, he’s not really obligated to get personal if he doesnt want to. And besides, you also don’t want to. Your end of the rope for sure is scared of any form of vulnerability anyway—so you’re not expecting or demanding that from anybody else.

“So you’re just co-workers now?”

“Yeah, I think so. I really don’t know what I feel.”

“Well, relationships are messy my friend.” Raising your glass of wine as if to cheers and chugging it in one go.

Not sure of what to say next but he looks like he’s in mood to talk but the topic looks too sensitive to even crack a joke so you continued drinking despite the eerie atmosphere.

“If you dont mind me asking, what happened?” Yes, despite your immense effort to hold yourself back. Like any other novel you read, you have this eager feeling to know how it ends. Your mind is literally shouting, ‘But I gots to know!!’

And so you asked. Half fearing for your life for being too nosy and half expecting that you might be up for a good story. Elbows resting on the table, with your chin at the palm of your hand looking eager to hear the story.

“We’ve been together for a while”

“Yeah, you said that already.. and that she’s a song writer. I figured.” Unconsciously saying your thoughts out loud.

“You wanna tell the story instead?” He teasingly reacted in a straight face.

“I didn’t mean to say that out loud… I literally said that in my mind and my mouth just burst it open. They both can’t coordinate that well. I’m sorry. You may continue…sir. Please don’t cut my head off.” You love teasing him.

“You’re drunk.” He was pointing out the obvious by that time, after two bottles of wine.

“Yes she’s a songwriter. They said before thay she’s the words to my melody. Well… before.”

Something about those words just made your heart ache. Frowning in his words you continue to listen.

“We’re together for about 2 years? And then on and off after…. She cheated on me, slept with another producer from another company. I really thought that was the end but after that i still accepted her. I don’t know why.”

“Aigoo you dumbass solider of love. And then??” Continuously frowning in frustration led you to keep on drinking.

He has no plans of actually telling this story tonight, it just poured out. You’re just one of those people that actually listens. He has seen you before, how intensely you focus on a movie or in a book that it bothers you for day. You love hearing stories and your willingness felt like a safe space for his unspoken scars.

“She keeps coming back to me and I keep accepting her. That’s it.”

With a confused look on your face, “I don’t get it.”

“Like you said, relationships are messy.” He’s obviously trying to close the topic already but that’s not going to stop you—you never stop midway of the story. This is not how it ends.

“Messy is one thing, toxic is another. And since when are you a coward? You don’t strike me as one. Really.” ‘Yeah i was.’ Yoongi thought in his head. Words are just literally pouring out of your mouth by now, drowning yet another glass. Yoongi opening your forth bottle.

“Boy, I bought the wrong alcohol tonight, tequila would’ve been perfect.” You declared as he pours you a refill. He laughed at this comment, he kept wondering sometimes how easy it is for you to make him laugh.

“No but all kidding aside… Hard question coming in, Min Yoongi. Do you still love her?” Looking right at his eyes and him staring back at you as he answered. “No, we broke up a month before I moved in here.”

‘That’s quite a while, at least 9 or 10 months now…’ you thought to yourself

“Yeah but having been broken up doesn’t mean that love is gone. It’s not a switch you know.”

“I know. And I wish it was, she’s was a big part of my life I’m not denying that and maybe she always will be. But I’ve changed, she has changed—we’re no longer the same people that we were in the same relationship where I keep questioning my self worth. That’s done now, over. Love took a turn, and it doesn’t look the same anymore. We’re just co-workers now that’s all.”

You like the way he said it. Being no longer the same people that they were. You nodded in his statement not sure what to say next and also feeling a little dizzy.

“I gotta pee.” You suddenly declared and stood up, ran in small steps to the bathroom with Yoongi smiling at you and shaking his head.

And when you got back, he got you a warm water on your favorite mug.

Your thoughts are all over the place when you’re drunk, like you said—your mouth just spills it all out.

“You know what, this is all very brave of you. Being friends with your ex, I can’t imagine.”

“Why? Can’t you?” Staring blankly and holding onto your mug, eyes blinking fast in this question.

“I’m not sure. I’ve never really done it before, I’ll let you know if I can.”

You’ve been staring hard on your mug contemplating on his question. He gently touched your hand that’s been holding your mug and said, “Just drink your water.” And pulled it away as soon as you looked like your soul has comeback to earth.

“Can’t I…?” You repeated the question again, and this time out loud.

Hands underneath your chin and resting your elbows on the table. Yoongi is just staring at you, hands in his cheeks—thumb underneath his chin, not even sure if you can even see him. “I hate your question.” You looked at his eyes this time and said that and he just smiled and when he did, you narrowed your eyes. “I hate your smile too.” And this time, he gave you an even bigger one, those gummy smile. And whenever he smiles at you like that you just can’t help but grin in return.

You chugged the water and showed him your empty mug.

He got up and put the rest of the unopened bottle of wine back to the fridge just to prevent you from opening yet another. With his back facing you, arranging the couple of bottles left unto your fridge.

“Yoongi-ah, I know and I love how we respect each other’s privacy and all but just in case things get too heavy. I’m always here, you know. I mean, I’m really glad about today.”

He looked back at you, hands underneath your chin again and eyelids looking all heavy.

“Same goes for you, I’m always here…” And he turned his back again, “fixing you some food and light bulbs.”

And that statement made you smile. “Indeed, my friend. Indeed.”

He went back to the table and grabbed your wine glass and emptying it for you.

“So you wanna talk about how nothing went right today?” You sighed with your eyes closed.

“Maybe next time, my friend.” You stood up from the dinning table, offered to clean the rest of the dishes but Yoongi insisted that he’d do it instead. So you just nodded and slowly creep back into your room.

“Thanks for today, Yoongi.” You thanked him before you go, peeking behind the wall near the counter and he just smiled at you, cleaning gloves on and started washing the dishes.

Minutes later, you shouted from inside of your room.

“Hey i’ll be in the bathroom for a while. Hope you’re already done using it.”

Yoongi didnt answer. He’s already in his room.

You sat in the tub filled with water that is too hot for anyone else but not for you. Head all dizzy and pounding. It’s 2 am and nothing is more comforting than the silence of it all. Alcohol keeps you awake, more than coffee ever does. The dizziness, the feeling that is drilling in your head, makes it hard for you to sleep. Despite the fact that you always drink. You always drink on an empty stomach though, just so you’re sure you would pass out and not have a hard time sleeping.

But tonight you can’t say no—Yoongi made dinner and as much as you hate how you’re having a hard time now you don’t regret it. The question he said, still lingers. And you know your answer to this, you can’t.

Along with the headache, comes the memories you rarely remember—there are just some special days where somehow the guilt and regret still comes to you in waves, together with conversations you long to let go.

“You can’t be serious?” Joon said, voice cracking with hand on his hair in frustration. “But I am.” With a straight face you answered, “I can’t marry you, Joon. I don’t want to have kids and I know how much you want to have children.” Feeling the desperation in his face and actions, he held your hands close and hugged you. “I love you, I want to marry you. We don’t need to have kids immediately, that’s years away. We don’t have to even worry about that now.” It hurts you to seem him this way, yes both of you may be young—maybe you will change your mind but there’s no guarantee to it. You held onto his shoulder to see his face, tears kept rolling down his face and you keep wiping it off one by one. You’ve thought about this even just a year into the relationship, with all the dad jokes and tiny little shoes he kept in his room. He’s going to be a wonderful dad you thought—maybe not just to your kids because you don’t want one.

The most wonderful man in the world just asked you to marry him a few minutes ago, and now he’s crying on your shoulder in defeat. While you can’t even bring yourself to cry, everything about this just made you numb. You just know you’re doing the right thing. Keeping him by your side with a promise of a future you can’t guarantee is not what love is. You loved him—even much so that you could ever admit.

With the knock on the door, you went back to reality.

“Hey you in there?” His voice echoing at 2 in the morning.

“Yeah, I’ll be here still for a while. You need it?”

“No, it’s okay.” He quietly said, as you heard his footsteps getting farther away.

moodboard sr: x

#bts fanfiction #bts fanfic #bts fluff #bts imagine #bts scenarios #bts roommate au #yoongi fics #yoongi fluff #yoongi x reader #yoongi scenarios #yoongi imagine #roommate!yoongi #producer!yoongi #namjoon imagine #namjoon scenarios #exboyfriend!joon

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ji-yaaan · 4 years

Text

Anonymous asked:

Hello! I like your blog and the little comments here and there makes me laugh at times hehe ^^ May I request headcanons for Vil, Leona, Mal, and Floyd reactions and what they'll do to reconcile w/ the reader after a very hearted argument to which Reader may have said "I hate you" before storming out. Would they wait for a bit? A few days or hours? Or would they be upfront with their apology immediately? Reader also apologizes at the end, crying slightly if that's okay. If you notice me, thanks!

°•°•𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐌𝐞?•°•°•

HC's with: Leona, Vil, Floyd, and Malleus.

Note: Ofc, I was late yet again. Pls forgive me dear sir... And ofc tumblr hates me so it won't cooperate! Drafts got deleted 3 times.... so if it somehow becomes inconsistent... I DEEPLY APOLOGIZE! STONE ME GENTLY! anyways, i hope you enjoy this, actually no, I beg that you enjoy this?! Idk lololololololololol.

[𝚈𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚝𝚎𝚊 𝚑𝚊𝚜 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚊𝚕𝚕𝚢 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚠𝚎𝚍? 𝙸𝚍𝚔 𝚕𝚘𝚕]

°•°•°•𝙇𝙚𝙤𝙣𝙖 𝙆𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙡𝙖𝙧 •°•°•°

“I HATE YOU!” with bits of tears in your eyes, you slammed the door shut behind you leaving Leona dumbfounded all by himself.

You hate him?You hate him!?!? Is that like for real??? He’ll scratch the back of his head in shame of pushing things too far to the point you were in tears.

But what can he do? His pride caught the best of him and he acted rash in the heat of the moment. This prideful lion just doesn’t know when to shut up smh.ಥ‿ಥ

He’ll try to remember when did everything started to go wrong, but he'll just get more and more guilty the more he thinks about it.

“Tchhhh... I messed up big time...”

It's not his style to give up easily, but his mind was set in a frenzy the moment he thinks about you leaving him.

A day without you started to become dull and boring the moment he grew fond of you. So it somehow became a habit of his to constantly seek you unconsciously. Whether it's a whiff of your scent, your voice ringing in the hallways, even the sound of your footsteps is something he could easily recognize.

But now that the two of you fought, this lion will find any way possible to avoid you seeing him.

Yeah... it will probably take a while for him to apologize...(꒦ິ⌓꒦ີ)

But when the time does come, expect Leona to prepare a simple yet sincere apology.

“Oi herbivore... Sorry about the other day ok? I missed my pillow for a while now...I lose...”

Simple yet sincere :') The prideful arrogant lion somehow learned to apologize despite his ego way ahead of him. He can't stand the thought of loosing you ok? (｡•́︿•̀｡)

°•°•°•°•𝙑𝙞𝙡 𝙎𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙚𝙣𝙝𝙚𝙞𝙩•°•°•°•°•

“VIL STOP IT! I hate this! I hate everything! I hate you!” you quickly ran away to the door as vil stood in his spot stupefied.

You hate him? You hate the Vil Schoenheit himself?Then so be it...

Vil is basically pissed and angry™. Moreover, you had the guts and audacity to tell him you hate him. His pride was shattered in front of him. And he's not happy about that (꒦ິ⌓꒦ີ)

Nope. Nah. Never. He's not apologizing anytime sooner now. He'll be waiting for that spicy well deserved apology you have for him...

He'll try his best to avoid you and give you the sassy cold shoulder treatment™. It will probably last for a few days or maybe a week. He has his pride y’know?

Not until he hears a muffled sob in the hallways and realized it was your voice. You looked visibly upset and sad as you cried your heart out, all alone in the empty hallways.

Oh no... What did he do? Was his nagging that bad? Did he take it too far with the makeovers? Guilt ate his soul away as he tried to sort out his thoughts with the clear image of your crying face embedded in his mind.

“Okay... Maybe I did take it a little too far...”

Making up his mind, Vil will try to make everything set for tomorrow and apologize to you to fix this feud you both have. ( ╹▽╹ )

When classes are over and the two of you finally get to be alone, Vil will try to straighten this misunderstanding now! ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

“Hey Y/n I just want to tell you... I'm sorry.” “Vil I'm so sorry for the other day!-”

The both of you stared at each other with shock... Did the both of you just say sorry at the same time?

“Pfffttttt-” The both of you laugh from how hilarious this moment was. It felt as if the fight you had didn't happened at all. (人 •͈ᴗ•͈)

“Y/n I'm sorry... I took it too far with what I do without asking your opinion first...”

“Yeah... I'm sorry I lashed out at you too... That was petty...”

Vil will definitely make a million dollar once in a lifetime seen smile, so you better treasure this rare sight!!!(｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

“No more fighting, okay? ”

•°•°•°•°•𝙁𝙡𝙤𝙮𝙙 𝙇𝙚𝙚𝙘𝙝•°•°•°•°•°

“Floyd I hate you!” you slammed your way out of the table, running away from Floyd.

Angering Floyd was not the brightest Idea in the book. His infamous “bad moods” was not something anyone would like to experience. But somehow, he was really pushy and annoying today and you were fed up with it.

“Ahhhh~ Koebi-chan hates me now? what do I do?”

Thankfully, Floyd wasn’t really angry, though he was sad and heart broken that his favorite person said they hated him.(╥╭╮╥)

Floyd is an impulsive boi, so he might secretly follow you to see your face or something lol.

Ofc, Knowing Floyd, he’d definitely skip classes and skip his job at the Mostro Lounge due to his mood swings. Ofc, a certain octoboi wasn’t really happy with this.

Azul will probs tell Jade to help out his brother or something, lol Azul be secretly worrying for the two of you loooool.

However, with the help of Jade, the mushroom eel himself, he can guide his brother to make up with you!!!

Thank god mushroom eel is here to save the day! ( ´◡‿ゝ◡`)

A fight with Floyd won’t really last long. Because Floyd being Floyd, he’ll naturally come to you like nothing ever happened! That’s why you have to be patient and understanding when it comes to Floyd ok?

With the biggest hug from behind you. There was a cute eel boi that has come to ambush you with love!

“Shrimppy! Don’t avoid meeee! I miss you so much so hang out with me at the Mostro Lounge againnn!”

Floyd is not really good with his words nor his apologies. Though, his blunt and honest demeanor is definitely one of his charming points!!!! (☆▽☆)

“Shrimpy! I have some takoyaki with me! let’s share them together ok?!”

Ugh, Floyd is too cute... It would be a capital sin to not forgive him and decline his offer! Tsk I’m watching you, you better accept that apology!

•°•°•°•𝙈𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙚𝙪𝙨 𝘿𝙧𝙖𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙞𝙖•°•°•°

“MALLEUS I HATE YOU!”

Shock. Pure shock. You hate him? The last thing Malleus wants is to hurt your feelings. In his eyes, humans are delicate and vulnerable beings, so he tries his best to protect you and treat you with utter delicacy. Yet it seems as if he failed to do that...

Just before you slam the door behind you and escape this fight, a hand grabs your wrist in attempts to stop you. Nonetheless you still make your way out, leaving Malleus standing there alone.

Malleus was deeply hurt and sorry for making you sad and angry. His heart was shattered with the thought of you leaving him, someone who made their way this close to his heart, someone he cherishes deeply.

But this fight wont really last long because Malmal would definitely try and apologize as quickly as possible!(ᓀ˵▾˵ᓂ)

Malleus is the soft type of person and I feel like he’d give up easily if it was you lol.(｡•́︿•̀｡)

Even if his apology was heard but not accepted, he’d gladly say his sorry no matter how much time and patience it will take, just for you to forgive him.༎ຶ‿༎ຶ

He’ll try to give you and Hour or two to clear your mind, then he’ll apologize!

Standing in front of your room, he’ll knock lightly at the door in front of him... No answer... So you’re still mad huh?

Leaning his forehead at the door, He’ll try to talk to you in hope for you to come out of your room. But nahhh, no signs of you leaving your room soo (´°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥ω°̥̥̥̥̥̥̥̥｀)

He’ll mutter apologies after another just in case you hear them :’D

“Y/n I’m sorry for hurting your feelings earlier... that was rash of me to say, so I truly apologize... I hope my feelings reach you.”

Hearing his voice, it would prolly sound as if he’s ready to cry any moment by now. You’d be a monster if you don’t forgive this fae cutie!!!(┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻

When you finally come out of the door to see him. I bet you he’s moment away from his tear dripping down. Ó╭╮Ò

“You’re not mad now right? Then is it fine to ask if we eat some ice cream later?”

You bet that Malleus would give you the biggest cheeriest grin in the entire world! oh the things you keep doing to him never surprises him. Pls dont leave this cinnamon roll or else-

That's it cuties! I need to sleep now- my classes are thriving, but I'm not!!!

God, school stuff are taking away my precious freedom and time for writing smh.

Oh god, I'm ranting again... What's new? AHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Anyways, I need to woosh now and I hope you enjoyed this one!!!

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