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hotpinkhoshi · 3 years

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kiss it better | five

pairing: mark tuan x reader

genre: angst, eventual smut, brother’s best friend au (sort of)

warnings: tw for death, death of a parent, reference to drug addiction

word count: 4.5k

summary: you were off limits for more reasons than mark could count. but everything changed for him the day you walked into his tattoo shop with those big innocent eyes and a laugh like his favorite song. he couldn’t. he wouldn’t. and yet…

a/n: hi babies thank you for your patience, i know it’s been many many months since i’ve updated! the last time i posted for kib was all the way back in may, which is crazy, i know. but life has been weird and it’s been difficult for me to find the motivation to write. it’s slowly coming back for me and i’m so glad you guys have stuck around with me even if i haven’t been consistent. i’m more grateful than you know!

✩ index here ✩

“She did what?” Dahyun asked, her bite of gimbap nearly falling right out of her mouth.

Youngjae threw his head back and broke into laughter entirely at Mark’s expense.

Mark ran his tongue over his teeth and refused to look up at his friends, focusing awfully hard on the sketch he’d been working on in between appointments. He quickly realized that they had absolutely no sympathy for him.

“Yeah.”

It had been two weeks already since that night, and Mark was just now feeling comfortable enough to spill what had happened after he took you home. He liked to take his own time to process his thoughts before he revealed them to others, and quite frankly, he hadn’t even wanted to tell anyone. But he was starting to think maybe he needed an outside perspective.

“She has guts,” Youngjae said, after finally pulling himself upright in his chair. “Was it good?”

“Dude,” Mark warned, far from amused.

Dahyun cut in. “It’s a good enough question. From what I’ve seen, you guys have some intense sexual tension. If the kiss was hot, maybe it’s worth exploring.”

“We don’t have sexual tension,” Mark defended.

Youngjae snorted.

“Sure. But, let’s say if you did, and the kiss was good…” Dahyun trailed off, wiggling her eyebrows.

Groaning, Mark tapped the end of his pencil against the desk. He glanced up at the wall, his eyes naturally drawn to the photo of your shoulder, of the tattoo he’d designed and permanently inked onto your skin. It wasn’t the only photo he had pinned up of his previous work, but it was the one he looked at the most.

“She’s a kid,” he said, little to no conviction in his voice.

But you weren’t a kid. Mark knew in every way, you were an adult. Even mentally, emotionally, you seemed more mature than he felt most days. Packing up your belongings because you refused to live a life you weren’t satisfied with? He couldn’t imagine anything more grown up than that.

“Mark,” Youngjae’s tone was firm, serious this time. “It’s not the worst thing in the world if you have chemistry with someone. I know it may not be the most convenient girl for you, but… you’ve been by yourself for a long time. You can’t tell me you aren’t lonely.”

He hadn’t thought he was lonely until you came into his life. He had been fine, so fine, living on his own. Waking up alone, eating dinner alone, focusing on his work and living one day to the next.

But now, he looked forward to the sound of your keys in the door when you got home from your evening shift. He bought your favorite brand of orange juice instead of his. He didn’t mind watching outlandish and obviously fake reality shows if it meant that he got to hear your commentary along with it. More than anything, he’d gotten used to the way you made him feel. In the simplest of terms, he was happy.

“It doesn’t matter,” Mark said. “I already fucked it up.”

Dahyun narrowed her eyes. “What did you do?”

He rubbed some of the tension out of his forehead, relaying the conversation he’d had with Taehyung that night to his friends. The exchange wasn’t longer than a few minutes, but it was long enough for Mark to potentially ruin everything you’d built for yourself in the last couple of months.

“I didn’t tell him everything - I couldn’t do that. But I told him I’d seen her in the city, that I thought maybe she worked in one of the restaurants near the shop…” A knot of guilt coiled in his stomach. “Fuck.”

He’d just wanted to do the right thing. You were young, you couldn’t see that your parents cared about you. Taehyung cared about you. They deserved to know where you were, especially after everything they had done for him. He could at least point them in the right direction.

“Well, shit,” Youngjae offered, a sympathetic frown on his face.

“I fucked her over, and I haven’t been able to look her in the eye since. We’ve just avoided each other for the last two weeks and I-” Mark heaved a breath, leaning back in his chair. “I hate it.”

He missed you. Even if he couldn’t say it out loud.

“I have an idea,” Dahyun said, her whole body perking up. “Don’t look at me like that, sometimes I have good ideas. Why don’t you invite her along for Yugyeom’s camping trip?”

“You mean the couple thing?”

Dahyun sighed. “It’s not a couple thing. It’s just… everyone there is part of a couple. Anyway, it might be a good way to make things less awkward.”

Mark blinked a few times, waiting for Dahyun to say ‘just kidding’ because it was an absolutely ridiculous idea. “What? How would that make things any less awkward?”

She shrugged. “I mean, it’s a great opportunity to break the tension. If you know what I mean.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Mark scowled.

You spent your entire shift thinking about Mark. Thinking about how you had completely messed up your relationship, and trying to figure out how to fix it all. It had been a stupid, drunken mistake, and you would take it back in a heartbeat if you could.

The past two weeks had been torture, tiptoeing around and trying your hardest to avoid him. You’d picked up extra shifts almost every day, figuring that if you were working, at least you didn’t have to pretend like everything was normal.

All you wanted was to come home, curl up on the couch with Milo and watch your favorite ridiculous TV shows while Mark snickered next to you, entertained by the disgustingly wealthy families on the screen no matter how much he pretended to hate it. You wanted to be able to lean into him, feel the body heat radiating off of him when his shoulder brushed yours.

You missed Mark. Even if you couldn’t say it out loud.

After much debating, you decided that the best way to apologize started with food. And you owed him, anyway, after he opened his home to you and let you stay there free of charge. A dinner was the least you could do.

You could tell once you walked into Paradise Tattoo just before closing time that Mark hadn’t been expecting you in the slightest. He was at the desk, going over papers with Dahyun, when the bell dinged to signal your entrance.

In his ripped jeans and muscle tee, all of his tattoos were on display for you, even the large quote he had inked onto his ribcage. You gulped and shoved your feelings down. That would only make things worse.

“Hi,” you said, greeting both Mark and Dahyun.

“Hey.” Mark scratched his head and straightened his posture. “What are you doing here?”

“Well,” you started, wringing your hands in front of you. “I wanted to see if you wanted to get dinner? On me. I owe you, anyway.”

Dahyun piped up, a mischievous smirk on her lips, “That’s a great idea. Mark was just talking about how hungry he was.

Mark cleared his throat and shot his co-worker what looked suspiciously like a glare. “No, I’m fine. You really don’t have to-”

“Come on,” you said, hiding a smile. “How about burgers? There’s a good place around the corner. It won’t kill you to let me pay, will it?”

You could see Mark weigh his options as he chewed his lip. Either end up hungry, settling for some quick frozen food later on, or bite the bullet and let you pay for his dinner. You knew it would hurt his pride to do so, but you wouldn’t back down. It was more than just the free room and board that you wanted to make up for.

“Alright,” he finally agreed. “Let me grab my stuff.”

It only took less than ten minutes for you to walk down to the burger place, but it felt like an hour as awkward silence hung around the two of you. It wasn’t until you were both seated at a corner booth inside the restaurant that you finally spoke up.

“Listen, Mark,” you said, looking up from the packet of ketchup you’d been nervously squishing between your fingers. “About that night…”

“No, you don’t-” Mark was quick to interrupt, but you held your hand up.

“Just let me, okay?” You sighed.

You’d rehearsed these words countless times in the bathroom mirror, and right now it felt like they were slipping right out of your fingers. Where were you supposed to start? With the kiss, straight away? Or getting so drunk that you’d needed to be taken care of in the first place?

“I’m just… really sorry. I was stupid to drink that much and it’s not your job to watch after me. I should be able to take care of myself.”

Mark stopped you again. “I didn’t mind taking care of you.”

“But it’s not your job, Mark. I’m an adult, and you’re letting me stay with you and asking for nothing in return. The least I could do is make it easy on you.”

“Y/N, if you could have seen me at your age, you wouldn’t feel so bad. We all get drunk and stupid sometimes,” Mark said with a shrug. It almost relieved some of your guilt until you remembered the kiss in the bathroom.

“Well...” You shook your head and looked back down at your hands. You couldn’t bring yourself to look at him for this one. “I really shouldn’t have ki-”

“Hi! My name’s Lana, I’ll be your server tonight. Can I get you two something to drink while you look over the menus?”

A cheerful brunette appeared in front of you, a pen behind her ear and a wide grin plastered on her face. You glanced at Mark, then up at your waitress, not sure if you were grateful for the interruption or not.

“Um, can I just have a water?” you asked, voice small and uncomfortable in your throat.

“Same for me,” Mark agreed.

“Perfect! Let me know if you have any questions about the menu!”

You let out a long breath before you were able to look at Mark again. He was biting his cheek, his lips all twisted and holding back a laugh.

“What?” you asked.

“Her timing,” Mark got out, just as he let go of his laughter, throwing his head back.

To your own surprise, you found yourself shaking with laughter as well. Either from Mark’s contagious laugh giggle or the simple ridiculousness of the situation. Here you were, in a burger restaurant, apologizing to your older brother’s best friend for kissing him while you were heavily intoxicated.

You covered your face with your hands to suppress your own laughter, letting your back slump against the cushions of the booth. It all came to you then, just how silly you’d been the last two weeks.

“I am sorry, though,” you said, after you both settled down.

Mark’s eyes glinted as he watched you from across the table, the ghost of a smile still on his lips. “It’s alright. I mean it. Last time I was that drunk, I’m pretty sure I ran around the block in my underwear singing the Canadian national anthem.”

You giggled again at the mental image. “What? How did you even-”

“No idea. It’s like I was possessed by a drunk Canadian mischief demon.”

It was strange to imagine Mark and Taehyung in their teen years, since you’d been so young at the time, you could barely remember anything from that time of your life. You remembered Taehyung wearing the same pair of purple skinny jeans for three months because a girl at school had told him she liked them.

You remembered Taehyung letting you sit in the basement in your favorite cushioned chair while he and Mark played video games on the big screen. It had been your favorite place to read then, tuning out the rambunctious cries of defeat while you got lost in other worlds.

“So we’re okay, then?” you asked, after Lana had come back to take your order and left once more.

Mark nodded, a genuine smile on his lips. “We’re okay.”

“Maybe it’s weird, but…” you began, staring down at the wrapped silverware on the table instead of looking Mark in the eye. “Even though I grew up seeing you as Taehyung’s friend, that feels like a lifetime ago. And now I just kind of see you as… my friend. Like somebody I can trust.”

When you finally looked up at Mark, his expression was unreadable. His bottom lip was between his teeth, but his eyes looked somewhat uncomfortable. You worried for a second that you’d crossed a line.

“I owe a lot to your family,” Mark said after another long moment passed.

Even though you didn’t remember much about Mark from your childhood years, you knew his upbringing had been rough. His parents had been addicts, the kind that never should’ve been together, let alone bring a child into the world.

You’d never met his mom, but your own mother had made enough snide comments about her after Mark had gone home for you to understand just what kind of person she was.

“One of those low life, worthless drug addicts. Sleeping around with anyone that can help her out, if you know what I mean. Never should’ve been a mother.”

She had a funny way of showing her compassion sometimes.

Taehyung brought him over once after school and your mother had gotten one look at his threadbare clothes and hollow cheeks and taken him in as her new project. At first, he ate dinner with your family almost every night, and then she started making Taehyung pass over his any extra clothes he’d gotten that didn’t fit properly or that he simply didn’t like.

Mark did owe a lot to your family.

You didn’t know what to say. You’d been so young there was no way you could take credit for anything your parents had done for Mark, but still, you itched to comfort him. Even now, with the unsaid words lingering in the air, you sensed that he had never been able to fully open up to anybody. Though you didn’t deserve it, you wanted to be the first.

“Your mom,” you found yourself saying. “Is she…?”

Mark shook his head. “She’s gone. Passed away a couple years ago.”

Your face fell. If anything, you had expected her to have taken off for good or maybe gotten into some trouble she couldn’t get herself out of, but you hadn’t expected her to be gone.

“Oh, god, Mark. I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

To your surprise, he only lifted his shoulders in a shrug. “I hadn’t seen her in a long time before that. Maybe two, three years. Then my aunt showed up on my doorstep with a box of her things and told me she OD’d in a gas station parking lot a week before.”

His voice wavered only slightly, but enough to tell you he cared more than he let on. You could only imagine how painful it would be to hear of your own mother’s passing a week after the fact.

“I’m sorry,” you said again.

Mark shook his head. “Don’t be. It’s weird,” he said, tongue running over his lower lip as he paused. “I’d stopped seeing her as my mother so long ago that… I felt like I’d already mourned her death. Fuck, that sounds bad, doesn’t it?”

“No,” you answered as you reached across the table, fingers laying across the back of Mark’s hand. “It doesn’t. At all.”

A moment passed between the two of you. You caught Mark’s eyes glancing down at your hand resting on his skin, but he made no move to avoid your touch.

“I never even went through her things. The box is just sitting at the back of my bedroom closet collecting dust.”

“Do you want to go through her things?” you asked.

Mark paused, chewing at the inside of his lip before he answered. “I don’t know.”

You nodded, somehow understanding exactly what he meant. Though you hadn’t gone through the same thing, you were familiar with avoiding a potentially painful and uncomfortable situation by simply pretending it didn’t exist. Hence why you had four unopened voicemails from your brother and parents.

You found yourself stroking the back of Mark’s hand with your thumb. It didn’t feel wrong to touch him like this, even though maybe it should have. All you wanted was to bring him a shred of the comfort he had deserved to have for much longer than you’d known him.

“Alrighty, and here we’ve got the bacon cheeseburger and sweet potato fries for the lady,” Lana exclaimed, immediately bursting your bubble as she returned to your table with your food balanced on a tray. You were quick to snatch your hand from Mark’s. “And a BBQ cheddar burger with curly fries for the handsome man.”

You didn’t miss the way Lana winked as she placed Mark’s food in front of him. This girl was not getting a generous tip from you, that was for sure.

“I told you, after that depressing dinner conversation, we need to do something fun,” you told Mark as you carried your skincare basket out from the bathroom into the living room.

“And this is fun for who?”

You threw him a playful glance and plopped down onto the floor in front of the couch on your knees, setting your basket on the cushion and sifting through it.

“Both of us. Just trust me.”

Catching the skeptic look on Mark’s face, you could only grin to yourself as you pulled out a tube of your favorite clay mask. He didn’t know just how relaxing a good face mask could be, but you were willing to show him.

“I’ll even go first,” you told him.

Mark lifted his feet to prop them up on the coffee table as Milo curled up like a tiny ball of cotton on his lap. You’d both changed out of your work clothes into comfy clothes, and you couldn’t help noticing how warm Mark looked in his white joggers and oversized black hoodie. You wouldn’t mind snuggling up into that space between his side and the couch cushion…

You sighed and shook your head, attempting to clear the less-than-platonic thoughts from your mind. If you were going to make this friendship work, you would need to stop thinking about him like that. Immediately.

“Can I ask you something?” Mark said after a beat of silence as you popped open the cap to your mask.

“Hm?” you asked, propping your personal sized makeup mirror on the couch so that you could see yourself while you applied your mask.

“Yugyeom’s family has a yearly pass to this campground, and every year he does this weekend camping trip…” he trailed off for a moment and you forced yourself not to react, instead focusing on applying your charcoal mask to your cheeks. “This year, it somehow ended up as a couple thing, so Dahyun suggested I invited a friend along. So…”

Lifting your eyes from your own reflection, you watched as Mark struggled to finish his thought.

“So…” you said, helping him along. “Are you asking me to come with you?”

Immediately, a neon flashing red alarm screeched in your mind. ‘This is a terrible idea! You must say no!’ it screamed.

“Only if you want to. I mean, it’s a cool place. Their lot is right by this swimming hole and there’s a fire pit, so we normally bring a ton of booze and cook our own food over the fire…”

Mark ran his fingers through his deep red locks of hair, his nerves displayed clearly on his face. You weren’t sure why he was so nervous to ask you, but it came off as incredibly endearing. Despite the warnings blaring in your mind, you found yourself nodding.

“Okay.”

Mark looked at you then, his eyes finally locking on yours, and the corner of his lips lifted in a hopeful smile. “Really?”

You couldn’t help grinning as well. “Yeah. I mean, on one condition…”

“Oh?”

“Mhm,” you replied, holding up the mask tube and popping the cap back open. “You let me put this mask on you.”

“Aish,” Mark said and shook his head. “No way. Not worth it.”

“Oh, come on, you big baby!”

You stood from the floor and climbed onto the couch, crawling to his side and squeezing some of the mask onto your index and middle fingers. “It’s not that bad!”

“Get away from me!” Mark exclaimed with a laugh, dodging your fingers. Milo hopped up onto the arm of the couch, stomping his cute little paws a few times.

“Just let me pamper you, Mark!”

He let out another laugh, louder this time, trying to reach for the mask to steal from your grasp, but he wasn’t fast enough. You giggled, ducking to miss his hands as he grabbed for your wrists.

Somehow, you found yourself straddling him, thighs resting on either side of Mark’s waist.

“Real men wear face masks!” you exclaimed with a shout of victory as you finally managed to smear a good amount of the clay mask across Mark’s left cheek.

“Oh, you little-” he replied, hands reaching for your sides underneath the long sleeved shirt you were wearing. He tickled your sides, a joyful laugh falling from his lips when you started squealing.

Milo yapped a few times from the arm of the chair, presumably because he thought that you were hurting Mark or vice versa, but his protective barks only made you laugh harder.

“Mark! Stop it!”

You gasped for breath, wriggling on top of him and dropping the mask tube, fighting between giggling and trying to swat his hands away.

“It’s what you deserve, you sneak,” he said, his hands still squeezing and tickling your sides, unknowingly drifting further up your shirt to your ribs.

Twisting and turning, you finally managed to grab his wrists and yanked them from under your shirt. You held them firmly in between your bodies, even though he could have easily overpowered you.

Your chest heaved up and down with the last of your giggles. Mark stared up at you, still smiling and out of breath. The air suddenly became thick as you held eye contact, your hands falling from his wrists to his chest.

“Y/N,” Mark whispered.

‘Danger! Danger!’ your mind yelled.

Mark’s hands, now free from your hold, landed on your hips. You felt his thumbs slip under the hem of your shirt, stroking the bare skin of your stomach. Your heart pounded beneath your rib cage at his gentle touch.

“Mark,” you said, intending on telling him to stop, but it quickly died in your throat.

His chin tipped up, making you realize just how close you were to him now. You weren’t sure who had leaned in first, but only a few mere inches separated your lips from his now. If you only bent forward a bit, you could…

It reminded you, all of the sudden, of the kiss in the bathroom. It had been quick, but long enough for you to slide your tongue past his lips. You remembered the shock to your system the moment you had felt the cold metal of a tongue piercing.

“Y/N,” Mark said again. “Tell me to stop.”

His voice was quiet but you felt like you could read between the lines. He didn’t want to stop, and the only way he was going to stop was if you made it clear that you didn’t want this.

But you did. You’d wanted it from the moment he ran his fingers over the tattoo he’d inked onto your skin one of those first nights, a soft ghost of a touch that made goosebumps form on every inch of your skin.

You weren’t stupid, you knew that this was all wrong for a variety of reasons, the least of which being that he was your roommate. But that meant nothing to you compared to the way his hands felt on your skin.

Before you could open your mouth, tell him that you didn’t want him to stop, an 8-bit version of the Mario Kart theme blasted from somewhere behind you. You jumped, your heart skipping several beats from the surprise.

Mark took in a deep breath and let it out slowly, blinking a few times before he gently guided your hips to climb off of him. “Sorry, I should…”

The ringtone felt familiar but you couldn’t figure out why. Even as you watched Mark grab for his phone off the coffee table and immediately silence it, you wracked your brain to try and remember where you had heard that ringtone before.

It was as if Taehyung had known, the moment that Mark quieted the little voice in his head telling him not to be so close to you and that this was wrong in so many ways, and finally accepted his feelings for you.

Maybe he had a sixth sense.

The moment that had passed between you then had been effectively ruined as soon as he was reminded of two things: you were his childhood best friend’s little sister, and he had already ruined your life even if you didn’t know it yet.

But he’d been so close to giving in. You’d been on top of him, smiling in that innocently beautiful way that you did, your thighs caging in his hips. He hadn’t missed the fact that he could feel you with every inch of him, considering how he’d begged his body not to react, not to harden beneath you. Between the thin layers of his sweats and your sleep shorts, there was no way you wouldn’t notice.

Later, after you’d grabbed a washcloth so you could both wipe the face mask off your faces and awkwardly watch TV for an hour before enough time could pass for you to realistically head off to bed, Mark listened to the voicemail Taehyung had left.

“Hey man. I just wanted to let you know that uh, I’m going to try and head to the city and look for Y/N in a few weeks. If you see her again or have any idea where she might be, let me know. I really appreciate it, my mom’s been going crazy… anyway, maybe we can grab a drink or something once I’m in town. I’ll hit you up. Thanks again, Mark.”

Mark was glad he was in the privacy of his own bedroom when he listened to the message so you didn’t see the way he threw his phone down on the bed, muttering curse words to himself and trying to forget how heavenly you had felt on top of him.

It was impossible. All he could think about was your skin under his fingertips, how your lips had been so soft and smooth and close to his, and how the weight of you on top of him had been enough to make him hard.

His only option was to shut himself in the bathroom and crank the shower all the way to the coldest temperature that he could stand and pray that it would be enough to keep him from sneaking into your bedroom that night.

#mark tuan #got7creators #kibfic #got7 fanfic #mark tuan fanfic #mark tuan angst #mark tuan fluff #got7 mark #got7 imagine #writing

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rachaelswrites · 3 years

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Nicknames

A/N: I didn’t include all actors/characters but if you want one just send it in and I’ll do it. I’ll start including these in my writing

~~~~~~

Here are some nicknames that each of the reader’s have been given

Sebastian Stan “prinţesă”

-Obviously, its Romanian

-There were a few he tried out with you when you were younger but this one stuck for multiple reasons:

-You were a major daddy’s girl (still are) and you pretty much got anything you wanted. You were almost on the verge of spoiled brat

-It also didn’t help that you had a very huge liking for Disney and it’s princesses

-Those dresses with the matching shoes? You had almost all of them

-He called you that until you grew out of your princess obsession, saving it for certain times

-The first time you ended a long term friendship was the first time he used it in years. He’d either call you by your name or something more generic like “Sweetheart”

-You came home visibly upset and ran right into your dad’s arms

-You’d never been this upset before so he said it, hoping in some way it would calm you down

“It’s alright Prinţesă, I’ve got you”

-When it worked that time, he did it again after your first break up.

-You were more angry than sad this time

-He had to hold you down on the couch so you couldn’t hurt anyone

“Prinţesă, calm down. He’s not worth a criminal record

-He used it on days when you were sick or were feeling down

-Maybe even if you were in trouble

-You and him both thought by the age of sixteen, you would hate the nickname but surprisingly, you liked it even more

Chris Evans “peanut”

-Another case of daddy’s girl

-This one comes from several trips to Red Sox’s games

-Chris wanted to get you into sports when you were young (just to watch, not necessarily to play)

-He took you and Scott to one of the first games of the season and he bought peanuts, in his true American way

-You were seated in between him and Scott

-Both of them were sharing the bag while you had ice cream

-Peanuts were a new food for you and you wanted to try them. You grabbed a handful of them and copied your dad’s movements to crack open the shells

-You ate like twenty in less than a minute

-You loved them so much and that’s how that name happened

-Unlike the others, Chris uses this name pretty regularly

-You didn’t mind how often he used it until he started using it on front of your friends

“Hey peanut, do you guys need anything?”

“Dad! That’s embarrassing”

-Your face went bright red and for the rest of the day, your friends teased you (in a loving, joking way)

-Chris realized his small mistake and was a little more careful about when he used it

-Scott called you it once and you swear, you never saw your dad move so quickly

“She’s my peanut, not yours. Find your own nickname”

-Anytime he posts a picture of you on Twitter/Instagram, he used that name instead of your own

Matthew Gray Gubler “munchkin”

-Three words

-Wizard. Of. Oz.

-You had a very weird obsession with this movie. It’s almost embarrassing looking back at it now

-By the time you were three, you knew all the words (as best as you could) to all the songs

-Matthew was about to lose his mind because he had the songs in his head as well, twenty-four-seven.

-You would talk and talk about how much you wanted to go to Munchkin land and be a Munchkin

-It also didn’t help that at the time, you were probably close to the same height

-Sadly, as you got older, you and your dad learned you didn’t develop his height

-You were a whopping 5’2 at the age of fifteen

-And the name stuck

-He knew you weren’t super fond of the name but somehow, it always cheered you up

-If you had a tough day at school, he’d sit on the couch and let you vent

“Let it all out Munchkin”

-You secretly did like the name (even though the origins were embarrassing)

-Matthew never let you live down that obsession

-When you were on set and he called you that, everyone asked why.

“Matthew, why do you call her Munchkin?”

“Dad, don’t do it”

“She was obsessed with The Wizard of Oz”

-He also very rarely referred to you as “Y/n” on social media, opting for Munchkin instead

-Trying to get back at him, you tried to come up with some ridiculous name for him

“I’m going to call you dancer. Cause that’s how you broke your knee”

-That one didn’t last long but Munchkin sure did

Tom Holland “bubs or darling”

-Tom gets two because I can’t pick

-Bubs is because you are the baby out of all of the brothers

-It was also because before you could say any brother’s name, you just called them bubs

-Sam, Harry, and Paddy also called you Bubs. They still call you that sometimes so Tom wanted to try something new

-When you were about five or six, he accidentally called you darling

-It wasn’t a typical brother/sister name but it suited you

-You were such a kind person and your favorite movie to watch with Tom was Peter Pan

-And the last name of Wendy was Darling, so he thought it fitted

-When he called you darling, it was mostly after he came home from filming

“I missed you so much Darling”

-You liked the meaning behind your nickname

-Tom used Bubs if you weren’t feeling like yourself

-Whether it was a bad day or if you were sick

“Take some medicine Bubs” or “Bubs, tell me what’s going on”

-He hated the others calling him Tommy but for you, he’d let you do it anytime you wanted

-Literally, you were the only person he let you call him Tommy

-But he was the only person who could call you Darling

Bucky Barnes “doll”

-Classic

-This one is pretty self explanatory

-It was common during your childhood but once you were in the 21st century, Bucky couldn’t part with it

-It reminded him of the past (in a good way) and he always wanted to relive those memories

-You were eight when HYDRA took him and then you

-The name reminded him of when you were little, and it reminded you too

-While Bucky was in Wakanda, he’d send you letters once he woke up

“Hey Doll, I miss you so much. Hopefully we can see each other soon”

-You kept them all with you

-And when The Snap happened, you’d read those letters back to yourself everyday

“The sunset was really pretty today Doll, it reminded me of the ones from when you were little”

-After those five years, that was the first thing he said to you

“I’m glad you’re safe Doll”

-It only took one time for Sam to tease you about it before you threatened to hurt him

“You make fun of it one more time and I swear it’ll be the last”

-Sam didn’t really understand why that name meant so much to you

-Bucky had to explain it to him

-It was really one of the only things you had left of your childhood

-And it was the one thing you could hold onto for the rest of your life

Ransom Drysdale “princess”

-Again, I think this one is self explanatory and obvious

-You’re spoiled, no doubt about it

-The name actually came from Meg

-She was a few years older than you and she was so used to being the only girl in the family

-And now she had to deal with you

-The reason she called you that was pretty stupid in the first place but as an eight year old, it didn’t matter to her

-You had spilled your drink on her by accident and onto her new shoes

-She went red in the face and started screaming in your face. You burst into tears

-You were only four and Ransom had never raised his voice at you. It was a new experience for you

-All the adults came into the room and walked into the scene of Meg screaming and you crying

-Ransom scooped you up and told Meg off

-Of course Joni took her daughter’s side but no one else did, making her mad

“She never gets in trouble. She’s such a princess”

-After that incident, your dad only used that name just to piss everyone off

-Like there was no need for him to but he just did it

“Princess, come here”

-In general, Ransom liked to show you off and the nickname Princess was the best way to do that

-As you got older, he felt weird using it. Meg had finally gotten over herself and everyone accepted the fact that your dad was spoiling you rotten

-You didn’t need a name to show that

-But as you got older, the issues in the family and all the problems started to weigh down on you

-There was so much drama that happened at family dinners, you were completely drained and exhausted once you got home

-Ransom could tell something was up so he reached into his bag of good parenting skills (which he definitely had, which shocked everyone) and called you Princess for the first time in ten years

“Princess, please tell me what’s wrong”

-For some reason, that one name made everything better for you

-Ransom noticed the small improvement in your mood so he kept calling you that on the daily

“How was school today Princess?”

-And in front of the family again

“Princess, it’s time to go”

-This name was literally just used to show the other Thrombey’s that you and your dad were better than them

-Of course though, you didn’t need a nickname to see that

Spencer Reid “squirt”

-Another name based on an obsession

-But this one can be blamed on Garcia

-While Spencer was on a case one time, she was in charge of watching you

-To keep you entertained while at the BAU, she put on Finding Nemo

-That was a mistake

-From that point on, you had a weird fascination with sea turtles, because of Squirt

-Once Spencer got back, you would not shut up about turtles

“Daddy, look what I just read”

-He was glad you found something you were interested in. He sort of hoped you would find something closer to a more “normal” topic but he would never stop you from learning

-Spencer wasn’t sure how the name fell onto you but once it did, he didn’t stop using it

-He generally used it in the apartment with just you and him

“Squirt, can you pick your toys up for me?” or as you were older “Squirt, can you grab those books for me?”

-He used it a lot when you felt stressed and you weren’t telling him

-So whenever he called you that, you knew you might as well tell him

“Tell me what’s going on Squirt”

-It was such a small gesture but it really did help you

-He tried to explain why it probably made you feel better but you weren’t too interested in the science behind it

-The only time he used it in front of the team is when he got back from a case

-You always met him at the BAU (he made sure you were there to greet him)

-You would stand in front of the elevator and wait for the doors to open

-And when they did, you ran into his arms and he wrapped them around your body

“I missed you Squirt”

-The team absolutely adored that nickname but knew to never call you that, unless they wanted an angry Reid on their hands

Emily Prentiss “love”

-To me, Emily just has European vibes and so does this nickname

-Probably because Emily grew up in Europe, she developed this habit of calling you Love

-The parents of her friends growing up used that name

-She sort of just picked up on it, starting when she first held you in the hospital

“Hi Love, I’m your momma”

-It’s such a simple but meaningful name to her

-You were truly the one person she loved the most (even her mom and even Sergio)

-Speaking of, once she brought Sergio home you started calling him that as well

-You were only four and didn’t understand the concept but Emily didn’t stop you

“Hi Wove”

-Emily never used this in front of people unless something was wrong

-As you got older, it was used more as a reassurance for you

-Her “death” was really hard on you and every case, she would check in

-Lots of the time, the phone calls were short and around the other members of the team

“Hi Love, I miss you. The team says hi”

“I miss you too momma”

-Very rarely would she use it in normal, everyday conversation

-If you were visiting the office, sometimes it would slip out

“Hey Love, are you doing your homework?”

-In front of the team, she used names like “baby” or “honey”

-Love was strictly reserved for just you and her

Jennifer Jareau “bug”

-First thing to know

-If anyone besides JJ called you Bug, even Will, she would literally rip their heads off

-This name was super personal to her and she didn’t want the meaning to be ruined

-You had taken after her love and fascination with butterflies

-Except you hadn’t learned the word butterfly so you just called them bugs, hence the nickname

-JJ only called you two things “Y/n” and “Bug”

-Nothing else

-At one point, Will was convinced that she might’ve forgotten your first name because she called you Bug so much

“JJ, she has a first name you know”

“I know, I think Bug fits her better”

-She did attempt to get your name changed, but to be fair, she was drunk when that happened

-She didn’t care that as you got older, the name was a little embarrassing, especially around your friends

“I’ll pick you up at seven Bug”

“Mom! Really? In front of my friends?”

-Your brothers for awhile thought your name was Bug, because she really only called you that at home

“Do you need help with your homework Bug?” or “Bug, can you set the table?”

-You didn’t realize the meaning behind the nickname until she explained it to you

-And once you did, the name meant so much more to you

-Will helped you pick out a matching necklace set of two butterflies

-You gave it to her after a case and she cried, knowing exactly what it’s meaning was

“Thank you Bug, I love it”

-She never took that necklace off, ever

Taglist

@ssebstann @peachyprincessss @emmy-writes-sometimes @dudele @kerrswriting @laura-naruto-fan1998 @multifamdomfan12 @aquariuslavenderhoney @rafehogwarts

#x daughter!reader #x teen!reader #x child reader #x sister!reader #sebastian stan #chris evans #mgg #tom holland #bucky barnes #ransom drysdale #spencer reid #emily prentiss #jennifer jareau

300 notes · View notes

maxismatchccworld · 3 years

Text

Patch Notes

PC:1.69.54.1020 / Mac: 1.69.54.1220 Console: Version 1.35 Happy Holidays Simmers! It’s time to go back in to Create a Sim! Where in this update you will find 100+ new skin tones, customization sliders for skin tones and makeup, and three improved base game hairstyles! Every skin tone now has a value slider that allows you to change the light to dark value of that skin tone, unlocking a much wider variety of skin tone options for you to play with! You will also find that our skin tones are now filterable to warm, cool, and neutral tones (as well as miscellaneous that covers our occult skin tones).

The new makeup sliders add more choices and opportunities for you to customize your Sims, and express your Sim’s style! Hue, saturation, value or brightness, and opacity are now available to modify on the makeup. We have locked some of the sliders where it did not provide an optimal experience or make sense for the makeup. Expect us to continue our work on these issues into the future to provide you with more. In addition to the customization opportunities provided, you can also save custom swatches as you tweak your sliders to get the perfect look. When you click on the swatch (for skin tones and makeup) as you modify the sliders, you will have an opportunity to save your custom settings, so you can re-use it later without having to remember your perfect looks! Did we mention that we made some hair updates? We did - we updated a base game child hair (cfHair_BraidedPonyTail), and we added a second version of that hair that removes the baby hairs (cfHair_BraidedPonyTailPlain). And we updated a base game male hair that you may find difficult to recognize from the original hair (ymHair_flatTopTextured)!

We have updated the Main Menu!... Again! The idea behind this change is to create a more cohesive experience and give Packs a more proper space as we continue to grow our content lineup. As a nice bonus, we highlighted the Gallery in a more meaningful way to inspire you.

-SimGuruGnome & SimGuruRusskii

Now onto the fixes:

Sims 4

Sketching so much that the Digital Sketch Pad just quit on you? Never fear! Freelancer Sims that use the Digital Sketchpad will now be able to complete designs without being reset abruptly.

Happy Birthday to all! Sims will now properly Age Up. Adulting is hard but they will make it, don’t worry.

Fixed an issue in which Doors, Windows, and Arches had cutouts when being reflected in Mirrors. Rorrim Rorrim no eht llaw, ohw si eht tseriaf erutaef fo meht lla?

Sims that do not have the Fishing Skill, or have not been Fishing at all, will not get notifications about identifying Fish. THEY WERE FISHING WITH THEIR MINDS.

The following careers have added the “Take Vacation Day” option, yay!Editor Russkii note: I didn’t want to add each line in each pack for this fix, it would have looked weird and robotic so that is why I chose to do one bullet point for all in this section.

Child Sims will no longer forget they are in their Sleepwear when they go to school. Though in these times of Work and School from Home, I don’t blame them one bit.

The Sweet Escapes Country Toilet will no longer be Comfortable AND Uncomfortable at the same time… There can only be one!

Sims with the Best Selling Author Aspiration can now complete their task of writing 3 Best Sellers.

Fixed an issue in which resized objects would disappear when they were part of downloaded Gallery items.

We revised our Careers (Pack specific and not) and we made sure there were no Chance Cards that were repeated constantly.

We noticed we had added the option to Clean Up Toddler on kitchen and bathroom sinks for both Toddlers and Children by mistake, so we removed it for both age groups from the sink… but how would have they fit? Like… how? These are the questions that keep me up at night.

Build Snowpal interaction is no longer available on non-natural ground (For Simmers that own Seasons and/or Snowy Escape). That's why it's called a Snowpal, not a Floorpal!

Gardener (Seasons)

Military (Strangerville)

Lifeguard for Teens and Conservationist (Island Living)

Law, Education, and Engineer (Discover University)

Civil Designer (Eco Lifestyle).

Get to Work

We made a clarification on the Xenophilia moodlet when interacting with Alien Sims. It should no longer say “From Discovering Aliens” but now it correctly reads “From Interacting with Aliens.”

Fixed an issue in which childbirth was not possible if Simmers changed the color swatches of the Surgery Tables. Now listen, I have heard about renting whole hospital wings for a birth in real life and other eccentricities, but this… was really something.

Get Together

Male Sims will no longer get Pregnant after receiving calls from NPC Sims.

City Living

NPC Sims will now text and call with invitations to Festivals. I personally welcomed the calm and quiet of my phone not beeping about constantly. But I can’t miss a Festival!

Sims rejoice! Yard sale customers will no longer invade their Home Lots and use Household objects. It is a Yard Sale… OUT in the yard, not an Open House.

Did you ever regret trusting some Sims enough to give them your apartment keys to constantly get visits from them for Milk and Juice? You can rest assured that they will no longer visit you for this purpose. I think some neighborly love is appreciated, but this went beyond the proverbial “May I have a cup of sugar?” type of situation.

Fixed an issue in which interactions to participate on GeekCon contests would not appear when interacting with objects.

We decided to give a bit more clarity when displaying the location of Festivals, so now it will display as “Near <insert location>” and not a distinct location that is not entirely correct. This is true for Festivals in Snowy Escape as well.

Cats and Dogs

Pets will no longer sleep in random places when told to sleep on their Pet beds. In my world they can sleep where they are most comfortable, my conspiracy… allegedly.

Seasons

Sims can now Shower in the Rain… Jury is still out on Singing and Dancing.

Sims will no longer “lose” their shovels when performing other autonomous activities while performing the interaction “Shovel Snow.”

Our friendly neighborhood Snowpal has been properly renamed to Chill from Chil. Everything I knew before was a lie… a LIE!

Ever felt like the Holiday spirit has just been too much to handle, and Father Winter starting to show up everywhere and not letting you do much of anything getting a bit… out of hand? Fear not! Father Winter will stop replicating himself* to spread holiday cheer. *Note this fix is not entirely retroactive, new saves should see this without issue. Existing saves will correct themselves over time.

Get Famous

Duck Security SCROO9E Super XL Smart Vault will no longer disappear after Sims Woohoo in it… you can say Woohoo can be romantic and magical, but maybe not to this extent?

NPCs from the Actor Career sometimes would never show on Set, making gigs impossible to complete. We've spoken with their union reps and everyone has agreed to stop this ridiculous strike. What were they striking about? Was there even a Strike? We may never know.

Island Living

Mermaids and other Occults should no longer be able to make hybrid occults. How were they making them? Oh boy, I'm not sure if it's appropriate for me to give you the mermaid-birds and spellcaster-bees talk.

Randomly generated Mermaid Sims will no longer be seen without some features in affected Simmer Saves. However this fix is not retroactive, so it should be seen fixed in new saves.

Pizza delivery to Lagoon Look Lot has been fixed to arrive promptly. This is Sulani Deep Lagoon Pizza, home of the 2x1 Mermadic Kelp Pizza and the Salty Llama Combo, may I take your order? <Descriptive Simlish on the line> Uh huh… uh huh… <Indescribable Simlish on the line> Yes, we now can ACTUALLY deliver to Lagoon Look… <Interrogative Simlish on the line> Yes, we told our delivery Sims that they need to deliver it there and not keep the pizza for themselves… like give it to the actual client. <Surprised Simlish on the line>

Discover University

Has this ever happened to you? Your Sim is ready to make an offering to the Sprites only to find a crystal stuck without being able to move it? No longer a problem, Sims now can remove offerings so all their rituals can resume. Sprites rejoice.

We fixed an issue for our Console Simmers that wouldn’t allow them to close the Humanoid Robot’s Behavior Module Menus correctly.

Fixed an issue that would cause items to be repossessed when loans were fully paid. That is NOT how it worked Repo Person… NOT how it worked.

Sims with Research & Debate Skill 3 or higher will no longer be able to “Convince to” with Toddler Sims.

Masquerade Secret Society Masks are now properly unlocked in Create a Sim when joining the Secret Society.

Fixed an issue in which Heckle animation was sometimes not being performed autonomously by Sims while playing Ping Pong.

Eco Lifestyle

Fixed an issue that triggered the Off-the-Grid notifications after traveling to different Lots in Evergreen Harbor, even when they are not labeled as Off-the-Grid.

We spoke to all Eco Inspectors, and they have agreed that they should NOT be charging the Energy efficient appliances fine if your appliances are fully upgraded to be super efficient and amazing. I mean all that work and still get fined? Not in this house!

Fixed an issue in which some placeholder text was showing in notifications after Dumpster Diving.

The Americana Station Speakers will now play Music… as the prophecy foretold.

When the We Wear Bags N.A.P is active, Grim Reaper will not be partially invisible when appearing on a Lot. Grim Reaper contributes!

Living the No Appliance lifestyle? We’ve got news for you! Sims will no longer be penalized for not having “Eco-Friendly Appliances.” No appliances, no fines!

Snowy Escape

Vending Machine Canned Soups and Drinks won’t spoil anymore. Time to stock up!

Sims can no longer go on Hikes while holding their Toddlers.

Space Heaters will now be able to be placed on Lots from Inventory. Sharing the warmth everywhere!

Fixed an issue in which the Shoe Removal Sign in 5-1-2 Kiyomatsu was not working properly. We also added Shoe Removal Signs in 5-1-1 Kiyomatsu and 2-4-2 Wakabamori.

Sims will now be more visibly furious when having the appropriate furious sentiment toward other Sims. “Yes, I’m mad!... No! This IS my furious face!”

Fixed an issue with some animations that would stutter while Snowboarding or Skiing. We also made sure that Sims with a high level of those skills would not always choose the Bunny Slopes.

Izzy Fabulous’ Star Simmi Rank was just too fabulous so we had to correct it to be one star less than displayed. Don’t worry Izzy, you are a full 4 stars in my book, you are that fabulous to me.

After much debate of whether it is the Cave Shrine or the Mountain Shrine for Hiking destinations we finally decided to just call it Mountain Shrine.

We revised the Snoop-Proof Bamboo Blinds and it is now possible to drop’em like they’re hot with the Thousand Words Window.

NPC Sims will no longer “take over” the Slopes for themselves for an indefinite period of time, now they will be sharing with all Sims the joys of the Slopes.

Fixed an issue in which Sims would get highlighted in the Sentiment Panel as if receiving new Sentiments every time traveling is involved.

Sims with Rock Climbing Skill 7, or higher, are able to autonomously climb the Tall Wall (Such tall! So much wall!). There is no need to not face what makes you uncomfortable… autonomously.

Had a chat with Yamachan and asked if he was ok, he seemed to start random conversations and then randomly say goodbye without reason. We are happy to report that he is OK now and will try not to do that. Give us a hug Yamachan.

Food Stalls at Mt. Komorebi Festivals won’t be closing shop randomly during Festival hours anymore. <guitar and piano intro> Closing time, open all the Stalls and eat all the food in the world...Closing time, turn all the lights on and let Yamachan greet you heeeere…

Create a Sim asset ymHat_EP10HelmetGoggles has been fixed to no longer display clipping around the neck area as well as we made sure no facial hair is removed when wearing this asset.

Dine Out

Experimenting with photo frames will no longer use the same picture of an Experimental Meal when displayed.

Hot Pot meals are now part of Restaurant Menus! I miss the times I would go to eat Hot Pot at a restaurant. One of my favorites has a conveyor belt that carries your fixings never leaving your table for a thing. *happy sigh*

Vampires

Vampire Sims will no longer be affected by temperature, so they won't be constantly obsessed with lighting fireplaces trying to get warm.

Post edited by EA_Leeloo at 6:30PM

Source: https://forums.thesims.com/en_US/discussion/984647/december-7th-2020-patch-notes

#s4 patch notes

182 notes · View notes

rachelbethhines · 3 years

Text

Tangled Salt Marathon - Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf

Ok, so I’ve tried and tried several times to get this posted, we’ll see if this is the time it goes through. Half the reason why this review series has slowed down is not just the multitude of real life stuff I have to deal with, but also Tumblr just refusing to work with me and deleting my posts. I also can’t save my work else where due to Tumblr messing up the formatting. It’s been a frustrating mess and so far no one @staff has come up with a tech solution or work around.

Summary: Rapunzel helps to rebuild Old Corona, (after its near destruction from the Black Rocks) which will become the permanent home of Red and Angry, who have returned to Corona to settle down. However, she begins to notice strange footprints around the area, as well as the livestock becoming more unruly and fearful. The group comes across a monster hunter named Creighton, who explains to the group that the area is being stalked by a werewolf, who possessed one of Corona's citizens. Aiming to save this person rather than kill them, Rapunzel sets out to find who it is.

When Was This Decided?

No seriously, when was this decided? It’s a pretty big leap go from ‘the rocks makes various towns inhabitable’ to ‘let’s rebuild!’ What’s changed here? Cause the rocks haven’t been removed and Rapunzel failed in her mission to nullify their power. In fact the rocks were not only reawaken in the second season finale but shown to be under the power of someone who’s intentions were made unclear to the heroes.

So I ask again; who thought this was safe thing to do now? What provisions have been made to accommodate the rocks? They blocked the well, remember, and destroyed the fields; how are the people getting food and water?

And most importantly why wasn’t the audience informed beforehand? When you change up the status quo in a story you need to provide just cause to the viewers. I legit thought I had accidently skipped an episode when I first watched because this plot point was not set up properly.

Why Were They Ever Left Alone to Begin With?

In a story where neglect is a central theme and motivating factor for all the main characters, it is super tone deaf to have those same characters perpetuating neglect themselves. The decision to live on their own should not be left up to Angry and Red because they are children. Children are not mature enough to provide for themselves neither emotionally nor physically and when placed in situations where they have to do so it psychologically damages them. Which the series already showcased with Varian so why is this suddenly deemed ok?

This Completely Undermines the Past Two Seasons

The entire conflict of the past two seasons was the rocks forcing people out of their homes. Eugene was made an orphan from them, Varian lost his entire support group because them, they drove out the Saporians from their encampment which prompted them to invade Corona, and Rapunzel and company spent an entire year on the road trying to find a way to stop them from spreading supposedly.

All of that has now been flushed down the drain with this decision. And its super insulting to watch because it’s the writers telling us that we’ve wasted our time caring about this plot for two years. You don’t resolve major conflicts off screen and without explanation; it’s lazy!

Also Where Is Varian and Quirin During All This?

This is not only their home and legal charge, but it’s also the ending to their ongoing story, and they’re not even here in a silent cameo.

Wouldn’t Quirin be overseeing the rebuilding of his town? Wouldn’t Varian be using his skills to find workable engineering solutions for them, fulling his season one goal of saving his home and making his village better with his inventions? Also wouldn’t Edmund want to catch up with his brother and help out now that he’s here?

In fact not a single person who actually lives in Old Corona is to be found in these opening shots.

Oh, But We Do Get Earl

Earl might be from Old Corona, or he might not be. We’ve literally never seen him before. The artists had to create a brand new character model for this character, the writers had to write new lines for him, and the casting director had to hire an actor and have him record these lines for only less than a minute of screen time, never to be seen again. Even though they legit had shepherd models already to go from season one that they could have used. It’s a waste of resources and a prime example of the mismanagement going on in this show.

It’s Too Late In the Series to Waste Time On a New One Off Villain

Speaking of a waste, Creighton might have more story reasons to appear in this episode than Earl does but her inclusion is still a poor decision. The show already has an overabundance of villains, so many in fact that they shipped the bulk of them off in season two, and this is the final season; the season where we should be wrapping up plots and minor characters stories not kicking off new ones.

Taken on her own Creighton isn’t a bad character presa, she works for the episode, but when we could have gotten a resolution to Caine’s, Hector’s, or the Disciples’ story arcs instead it highlights how misused the series assets are.

All This Lore Will Be Forgotten In Just a Few Episodes Time

We finally get like some magical rules and backstory only for future episodes to ignore it from here on afterwards. Red can turn into a werewolf whenever she pleases, night or day, with little explanation as for why.

Just Arrest Her Rapunzel

You’re the acting queen. You have the power and the right to arrest or even merely detain someone who is threating your citizens and refuses to leave. In fact it’s kind of your job. You don't even have to throw her in a dungeon if you thought that too cruel. Just lock her up in a nice room somewhere in the castle until you’ve sorted out the mess yourself.

The series wants to treat Rapunzel as the underdog when she isn’t, and her failure to wield her power effectively doesn’t make her look ‘nice’ it just makes her look stupid and grossly incompetent. This is a conflict that didn’t need to have happened and Rapunzel let it happen.

Oh, So Now Y'all Riot

You didn’t complain when the king orphaned children with his crack down on crime. You rolled over as he dolled out overly harsh punishments to poor people who committed minor offences. You gleefully went along with the royals as they scapegoated a child for their mistakes, even as they endangered your homes. And ya’ll sat on your asses while invaders pulled off a coup and enslaved you.

But this is what you get mad over? A rumor about a mythical creature existing that your princess has zero control over. Seriously?

Man, I hate the townspeople in this show.

Pointless Dream Sequence Is Pointless

This scene tells the audience nothing new and just wastes screen time.

This Is the Wrong Lesson to Focus On Rapunzel

We do not tell the 12 year old to unload their phycological issues onto their baby sister!

You’re telling me parents were involved in writing this show? What the hell!?

Rapunzel you are the adult here. At 20 now you should be more adept to handle listening to the deep seated emotional traumas of a little girl than a fucking 10 year old! And if you’re not, or don’t want to, then it’s your job to find another adult who will.

That’s the core problem with this entire episode. It treats Red’s and Angry’s problems as some eternal issue that they need to work out and not as the inherent failure of the adults around them that it is.

It is neither Red’s nor Angry’s decision on weather or not they get live on their own. Nor is it their responsibility to be each other’s therapist. Yes, a change in living arrangements is always stressful and for children with abandonment issues it can be hard to readjust, but that’s when you need to step it up and deal with the problem; not shove it off onto the kids themselves!

Monty Is Useless

Is this all Monty is good for? Being a red herring in ridiculously simple mysteries? Is this why we wasted a whole episode introducing him back in season one? Really?

Why Are We Still Treating Old Corona As Being Separate from Corona Itself?

Look, I get that it’s a joke, but it’s a joke that highlights how poorly thought out the worldbuilding is in the series. Is the Coronan government in charge of Old Corona or not? If so then you can just make those lease laws yourself as the acting regent Eugene. If not then Frederic shouldn’t have had any say in the matter of relocating Old Corona’s citizens nor putting a child outside of his jurisdiction under arrest.

But more importantly this is a just a repeat of that vague level of responsibility Rapunzel has for people who live off the island. She can’t order a whole village to be rebuilt while simultaneously claiming that she bares no accountability for Varian and Quirin’s problems in season one.

Replacing Guns with Crossbows Isn’t the Safe Option That the Censors Think It Is

I find it kind of amusing that censors will ban showing a 17th century blunderbuss but allow it to be replaced by a weapon that is still mass produced today and can be bought in any Walmart across the country. Like I’m a major advocate for gun regulation in real life, but even I have to find this to be a bit silly. Crossbows aren’t some fantasy weapon. People still own and use them. But it would be seriously hard to get ahold of a working antique firearm.

Seriously This Is How the Girls Have Been Living and the Adults Haven’t Done Anything About It Until Now?

I feel like I’m beating a dead horse by now, but it’s so engrained into the episode I have to keep bringing it up. The show itself is visually telling us that Red and Angry can’t keep living this way, but it never wants to call Rapunzel and the other adults out for not rescuing them from this life sooner.

So All This Tells Me Is That Rapunzel Could Have Easily Checked Up On Varian In Painter’s Block, But Didn’t.

Remember they’re right next to Old Corona; meaning that Janus Point is also right next to Old Corona. Meaning that Rapunzel could easily have checked up on Varian right after Painter’s Block and choose not to. With each passing episode Rapunzel has less and less excuse for her behavior in season one.

Yeah Remember that Plot Point That Wound Up Being Entirely Irrelevant to the Story?

In jokes don’t cover your ass when you make poor writing choices. Quite the opposite in fact as all you’ve done is remind the audience of all the various dangling plot threads that you will fail to follow up on. The disciples plot goes no where and serves no purpose, and it should not have been introduced as this big important thing if you weren’t going to do anything with it.

Nice Idea, Poor Execution

I’ve heard fans of this episode tell me that they enjoy it because of this scene with Red. If you’re a naturally introverted person or neurodivergent and have trouble communicating at times then Red’s speech here can strike a cord. Which is cool; I’ll never deny someone’s feelings and if a piece of media speaks to you on a personal level for whatever reason that is great. What I’m here to discuss though is story structure and whether or not the story’s themes are presented well in context of what it’s set up.

The conflict here does not work from a pure structural standpoint because it’s a surface level deflection of the real issues. Red’s problem isn’t that she is being ignored, it's that she’s been abandoned. Now communication issues can arise from that abandonment and feeling heard can be step forward in working those issues out, but Red’s central trauma isn’t going to be magically fixed by people ‘listening’ to her, i.e. being granted whatever she wants, but by providing her with a real home and with a real guardian to look after her.

Because what Red wants on a surface level is harmful to her, and the reasons why she wants what she wants needs to be addressed more so than then sedating her angry outbursts in the moment. This is treating the symptoms not the cause.

So What Is or Isn’t Real About the Curse?

Once again, we finally get some actual lore and rules for magic and the writers are already throwing it away during the same episode they are introduced. I now have as little context for how the wolf curse works within the Tangled world as I did before the episode started.

This Is Sweet, But Once Again Context Brings It Down.

So just to reiterate, this a surface level resolution to the conflict of the episode that doesn’t actually address anything. It might feel like an appropriate ending but only if you ignore the fact that Red and Angry are orphans who’ve been abandoned but the adults.

Angry apologizing here to Red does not solve any of their problems, especially since Angry, as a child herself, is not responsible for her sister’s behavior, feelings, nor well being. That falls to the adults and they fail to address Red’s core issues and their own failings to her in their apologies as well. Not to mention that the very next scene undermines any optional progress that could have been made here.

Listening to Someone Does Not Mean Giving Them Whatever They Want

This does not fix anything. Red and Angry are still left to live on their own without any real supervision. Giving them a big play house is not providing for them, it’s spoiling them. Would you let all the other orphans in the local orphanage roam free without an adult to take care of them? No!? Gee I wonder why? Could it be because letting a 12 and 10 year old raise themselves is a very stupid idea? One that will potentially damage them later in life assuming that they don't get themselves killed in the meantime.

Moreover this is yet another example of the series overall problem with not understanding that compromise and resolving conflicts does not mean rewarding the characters at the end with everything that they want without having them work for it. That’s not how life works and it’s not how good story telling works.

This Is Beyond Irresponsible

No! Bad Show! Bad!

You do not get to pretend that negligence is the same thing as compromise. Yes I know Eugene said to come to him when they have a problem, but as demonstrated by this very episode children do not always know when to ask for help nor can they always find it when needed, that is why parents exist!

Nor does the show get a free pass for turning it’s main characters into child abusers who neglected three minors multiple times now. Even when they themselves are victims of that same abuse!

How utterly blinkered do you have to be to not see the problem here?

It’s the Return of the Pointless Parallels

Let me count the ways for how stupid this is.

Red and Angry’s conflict has no impact on the on going narrative. Even with them now being reoccurring characters they still manage to contribute nothing to the future storylines involving Cass.

Neither Rapunzel nor Cassandra learn anything from Red and Angry’s spat; Rapunzel because she refuses to acknowledge her own flaws and Cassandra’s not even here for any of it.

The sister’s dynamic between Raps and Cass is not well established and the writers mange to piss all over it by series end because of gay baiting and poor writing. Therefore relying on lazy parallels to other siblings in the show to bolster this connection falls flat.

Red and Angry’s argument has nothing in common with Rapunzel and Cass’s current fighting. One is about abandonment issues and the other is about shallow validation. Trying to tie these two themes together actually winds up undermining both conflicts.

Red and Angry are children. Rapunzel and Cassandra are not. That very much matters.

Red and Angry didn’t drag innocent people into their petty bitch fight and endanger them because they wanted to feel special.

This Makes Zero Sense

I don’t know; she looked pretty happy during Crossing the Line.

She was also able to control the rocks just fine then, so what happened?

Not to mention soon after this Zhan Tiri is telling her she needs some sort of incantation to control the rocks, despite being able to already control the rocks....

It’s almost as if the writers are full of shit and don’t actually know what they’re doing.

So Are We Remembering the Burnt Hand or Not?

Does the hand matter or not? Is it ever a motivating factor in what Cassandra decides to do? Is her waning control over the rocks connected to her burnt hand; even though having a burnt hand is what allowed her grab the moonstone in the first place? Did the moonstone heal the hand? Does Raps singing the healing incantation later on heal it? Does Cass have a forever burnt hand?

Who the fuck knows!

Not the writers that’s for sure, cause it never comes up again.

Don’t introduce plot points and then not resolve them. That’s writing 101 guys.

Wait if she needs the incantation to control the rocks and the angry thing is a lie, then how the heck is she controlling them just now? Make up your dang mind show!

I swear I lose brain cells whenever I have to rewatch the evil Cassandra plot. It is so dumb you guys.... so, so dumb.

Conclusion

It’s not the worst thing ever but series has far better episodes on offer than this one. Even in a season as suck ass as season three.

So there’s praying that this review posts this time and if you enjoy my writing and would like to support me in my projects feel free to leave a tip on my Ko-Fi. Thank you.

https://ko-fi.com/rachelbethhines

#tangled #tangled the series #rapunzel's tangled adventure #anti-tangled #anti-rapunzel #anti-Cassandra

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archiveposter · 3 years

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Some Thoughts about the Hundred Acre Woods

To a grown adult, a place like the Hundred Acre Woods sounds whimsical at best and outright ridiculous at worst. Most of its inhabitants have neither brain nor blood, but are able to walk and talk as if they were human. Time and space don’t have much meaning either, with days melting away and seconds stopping in their tracks. The extraordinary circumstances of the Hundred Acre Woods makes The House at Pooh Corner easy to dismiss as valueless except in the function to amuse children. In a sense, the stories are meant to do exactly that. However, being used to entertain children does not detract from the value of The House at Pooh Corner. In fact, the very opposite is true. The stories of Pooh stumbling and bumbling around his home are able to reach human beings in one of the most critical developmental periods of their lives. The stories send a message that nobody is perfect, yet everything gets accomplished in the end, no matter the mistakes along the way. The stories also explore issues that are present in childhood, such as anxiety regarding the world at large and what change really means. This essay will examine how through the characters and events of The House at Pooh Corner, A.A. Milne was able to explore and validate common experiences of childhood.

The first experience that A.A. Milne explores is the anxiety of the surrounding world. This is accomplished through the character of Piglet. Simply put, Piglet exists in a near-constant state of fear. Throughout all of the Winnie The Pooh stories, the pint-sized companion expresses his desires to not do whatever the characters are thinking about doing. One instance is when Owl’s house is tipped over in Chapter Eight of The House at Pooh Corner. In order to right the situation, Piglet must be attached to a string and lifted by Owl. By asking “Suppose it does?” (Milne 281) to Owl’s reassurance of the string not breaking, Piglet openly expresses his reservations about the situation. While seemingly small, this is an incredibly important detail. At times, childhood can be frightening. Every problem seems monumental, and that's because each issue is monumental. There is no pre-existing knowledge to work upon, and the chances of an adolescent, particularly a very young one, having critical thinking skills already are slim. Therefore, it is easy to become overwhelmed or unnerved. By having Piglet be the perpetually spooked character that he is, Milne is validating the fears of childhood by giving his readers a character to relate to. The relationship between Pooh and Piglet furthers the validation. Where Piglet is afraid, Pooh is confident, and makes sure that he reassures his small friend. Going back to the incident of Chapter Eight, Pooh says “[The string] won’t break...because you’re a Small Animal, and I’ll stand underneath...”(Milne 281). Furthermore, Pooh promises Piglet that if Piglet saves them all, he’ll write a Pooh song detailing how brave Piglet. In this moment, Pooh is doing something very important: he is acknowledging his friend’s fears, but then uses logic to reassure and even offers the possibility of a reward. The relationship between Piglet and Pooh acts as a one-two act in seeing the fears of children. Piglet acts as the acknowledgement, while Pooh acts as the reassurance that things will be okay. For young readers, the dynamic between Piglet and Pooh can act as a source of security, as they are given permission to be anxious and the safeguard against it.

The second thing that A. A. Milne acknowledges in the House at Pooh Corner is the extreme relativity of time. Adults have lived longer, and therefore each minute seems to pass quickly. In fact, the older an individual becomes, the faster that time passees. That is because compared to the time that they have already lived, each moment becomes a smaller amount. If a person is 64 years old, they have already lived 23,360 days, which is also equivalent to 560, 640 hours. However, for a young adolescent, each day seems longer because they have lived less of them, and therefore is a larger chunk of their life. For example, a four year old has only lived 1,460 days, or 35,040 hours. Additionally, children’s lives do not revolve around time. Adults need to be at work by eight, get home by five, make dinner at 6, and be in bed by 11:30, and so on and so forth. Children do not have such concerns. Especially in earlier years, the lives of children are occupied by just existing and not dictated by clocks. If they need to be somewhere by a certain time, like at school by nine in the morning, a parent or other adult individual is in charge of making sure that happens. A.A. Milne demonstrates the lack of importance of time in a child’s life by making its passage a deeply unreliable thing in the Hundred Acre Woods. It is noted that Pooh’s clock had “stopped at five minutes to eleven some weeks ago” (Milne 158) in the first chapter in the House at Pooh Corner. However, neither Pooh nor any of the other residents of the Hundred Acre Wood seem to find issue with this, simply accepting it. Later on, in Chapter Three, as the characters attempt to find Small, Eeyore looks for two days without anyone telling him that their subject has been found (Milne 202). Both of these instances are somewhat comedic in nature; however, both also shed light on how children view time. A broken clock, if broken long enough, may be noticed by a child. However, it doesn't mean much to them, as time is largely irrelevant. Due to the lack of urgency, the clock does not get fixed, in both Pooh’s house and in the life of a child. As for the passage of days, two days of searching seems quite a long time for an adult, especially without rest, as it is indicated in Eeyore’s case. However, with a minimum concept of time, two days isn’t that notable. Milne’s writing ultimately plays upon the children’s view of time and validates the experience of having very little idea of what is actually going on. The Hundred Acre Woods is a unique place, with quirky inhabitants and a liquid sense of time. It’s a place of fantasy and friendship, saccharine to some readers. However, within its borders lies more than the adventures of Pooh and his friends. It’s a place of validation, where children’s anxieties and confusions are acknowledged and soothed. By creating the Hundred Acre Woods, A.A. Mine sent out a simple message to his young audience: everything will be okay.

#winnie the pooh #hundred acre wood #literature #analysis

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thesims4blogger · 3 years

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The Sims 4: New Game Patch (December 7th, 2020)

There’s a new Sims 4 update available for PC/Mac and Consoles. IPC:1.69.54.1020 / Mac: 1.69.54.1220 / Console: Version: Console: Version 1.35

Happy Holidays Simmers!

It’s time to go back in to Create a Sim! Where in this update you will find 100+ new skin tones, customization sliders for skin tones and makeup, and three improved base game hairstyles! Every skin tone now has a value slider that allows you to change the light to dark value of that skin tone, unlocking a much wider variety of skin tone options for you to play with! You will also find that our skin tones are now filterable to warm, cool, and neutral tones (as well as miscellaneous that covers our occult skin tones).

The new makeup sliders add more choices and opportunities for you to customize your Sims, and express your Sim’s style! Hue, saturation, value or brightness, and opacity are now available to modify on the makeup. We have locked some of the sliders where it did not provide an optimal experience or make sense for the makeup. Expect us to continue our work on these issues into the future to provide you with more. In addition to the customization opportunities provided, you can also save custom swatches as you tweak your sliders to get the perfect look. When you click on the swatch (for skin tones and makeup) as you modify the sliders, you will have an opportunity to save your custom settings, so you can re-use it later without having to remember your perfect looks! Did we mention that we made some hair updates? We did – we updated a base game child hair (cfHair_BraidedPonyTail), and we added a second version of that hair that removes the baby hairs (cfHair_BraidedPonyTailPlain). And we updated a base game male hair that you may find difficult to recognize from the original hair (ymHair_flatTopTextured)!

We have updated the Main Menu!… Again! The idea behind this change is to create a more cohesive experience and give Packs a more proper space as we continue to grow our content lineup. As a nice bonus, we highlighted the Gallery in a more meaningful way to inspire you.

-SimGuruGnome & SimGuruRusskii

Now onto the fixes:

Sims 4

Sketching so much that the Digital Sketch Pad just quit on you? Never fear! Freelancer Sims that use the Digital Sketchpad will now be able to complete designs without being reset abruptly.

Happy Birthday to all! Sims will now properly Age Up. Adulting is hard but they will make it, don’t worry.

Fixed an issue in which Doors, Windows, and Arches had cutouts when being reflected in Mirrors. Rorrim Rorrim no eht llaw, ohw si eht tseriaf erutaef fo meht lla?

Sims that do not have the Fishing Skill, or have not been Fishing at all, will not get notifications about identifying Fish. THEY WERE FISHING WITH THEIR MINDS.

The following careers have added the “Take Vacation Day” option, yay!

Child Sims will no longer forget they are in their Sleepwear when they go to school. Though in these times of Work and School from Home, I don’t blame them one bit.

The Sweet Escapes Country Toilet will no longer be Comfortable AND Uncomfortable at the same time… There can only be one!

Sims with the Best Selling Author Aspiration can now complete their task of writing 3 Best Sellers.

Fixed an issue in which resized objects would disappear when they were part of downloaded Gallery items.

We revised our Careers (Pack specific and not) and we made sure there were no Chance Cards that were repeated constantly.

Build Snowpal interaction is no longer available on non-natural ground (For Simmers that own Seasons and/or Snowy Escape). That’s why it’s called a Snowpal, not a Floorpal!

Gardener (Seasons)

Military (Strangerville)

Lifeguard for Teens and Conservationist (Island Living)

Law, Education, and Engineer (Discover University)

Civil Designer (Eco Lifestyle).

Editor Russkii note: I didn’t want to add each line in each pack for this fix, it would have looked weird and robotic so that is why I chose to do one bullet point for all in this section.

Get to Work

Get Together

Male Sims will no longer get Pregnant after receiving calls from NPC Sims.

City Living

NPC Sims will now text and call with invitations to Festivals. I personally welcomed the calm and quiet of my phone not beeping about constantly. But I can’t miss a Festival!

Sims rejoice! Yard sale customers will no longer invade their Home Lots and use Household objects. It is a Yard Sale… OUT in the yard, not an Open House.

Fixed an issue in which interactions to participate on GeekCon contests would not appear when interacting with objects.

Cats and Dogs

Pets will no longer sleep in random places when told to sleep on their Pet beds. In my world they can sleep where they are most comfortable, my conspiracy… allegedly.

Seasons

Sims can now Shower in the Rain… Jury is still out on Singing and Dancing.

Sims will no longer “lose” their shovels when performing other autonomous activities while performing the interaction “Shovel Snow.”

Our friendly neighborhood Snowpal has been properly renamed to Chill from Chil. Everything I knew before was a lie… a LIE!

Get Famous

Duck Security SCROO9E Super XL Smart Vault will no longer disappear after Sims Woohoo in it… you can say Woohoo can be romantic and magical, but maybe not to this extent?

NPCs from the Actor Career sometimes would never show on Set, making gigs impossible to complete. We’ve spoken with their union reps and everyone has agreed to stop this ridiculous strike. What were they striking about? Was there even a Strike? We may never know.

Island Living

Mermaids and other Occults should no longer be able to make hybrid occults. How were they making them? Oh boy, I’m not sure if it’s appropriate for me to give you the mermaid-birds and spellcaster-bees talk.

Randomly generated Mermaid Sims will no longer be seen without some features in affected Simmer Saves. However this fix is not retroactive, so it should be seen fixed in new saves.

Pizza delivery to Lagoon Look Lot has been fixed to arrive promptly.

This is Sulani Deep Lagoon Pizza, home of the 2×1 Mermadic Kelp Pizza and the Salty Llama Combo, may I take your order?

Uh huh… uh huh…

Yes, we now can ACTUALLY deliver to Lagoon Look…

Yes, we told our delivery Sims that they need to deliver it there and not keep the pizza for themselves… like give it to the actual client.

Discover University

We fixed an issue for our Console Simmers that wouldn’t allow them to close the Humanoid Robot’s Behavior Module Menus correctly.

Fixed an issue that would cause items to be repossessed when loans were fully paid. That is NOT how it worked Repo Person… NOT how it worked.

Sims with Research & Debate Skill 3 or higher will no longer be able to “Convince to” with Toddler Sims.

Masquerade Secret Society Masks are now properly unlocked in Create a Sim when joining the Secret Society.

Fixed an issue in which Heckle animation was sometimes not being performed autonomously by Sims while playing Ping Pong.

Eco Lifestyle

Fixed an issue that triggered the Off-the-Grid notifications after traveling to different Lots in Evergreen Harbor, even when they are not labeled as Off-the-Grid.

Fixed an issue in which some placeholder text was showing in notifications after Dumpster Diving.

The Americana Station Speakers will now play Music… as the prophecy foretold.

When the We Wear Bags N.A.P is active, Grim Reaper will not be partially invisible when appearing on a Lot. Grim Reaper contributes!

Living the No Appliance lifestyle? We’ve got news for you! Sims will no longer be penalized for not having “Eco-Friendly Appliances.” No appliances, no fines!

Snowy Escape

Vending Machine Canned Soups and Drinks won’t spoil anymore. Time to stock up!

Sims can no longer go on Hikes while holding their Toddlers.

Space Heaters will now be able to be placed on Lots from Inventory. Sharing the warmth everywhere!

Fixed an issue in which the Shoe Removal Sign in 5-1-2 Kiyomatsu was not working properly. We also added Shoe Removal Signs in 5-1-1 Kiyomatsu and 2-4-2 Wakabamori.

Sims will now be more visibly furious when having the appropriate furious sentiment toward other Sims. “Yes, I’m mad!… No! This IS my furious face!”

Fixed an issue with some animations that would stutter while Snowboarding or Skiing. We also made sure that Sims with a high level of those skills would not always choose the Bunny Slopes.

Izzy Fabulous’ Star Simmi Rank was just too fabulous so we had to correct it to be one star less than displayed. Don’t worry Izzy, you are a full 4 stars in my book, you are that fabulous to me.

After much debate of whether it is the Cave Shrine or the Mountain Shrine for Hiking destinations we finally decided to just call it Mountain Shrine.

We revised the Snoop-Proof Bamboo Blinds and it is now possible to drop’em like they’re hot with the Thousand Words Window.

NPC Sims will no longer “take over” the Slopes for themselves for an indefinite period of time, now they will be sharing with all Sims the joys of the Slopes.

Fixed an issue in which Sims would get highlighted in the Sentiment Panel as if receiving new Sentiments every time traveling is involved.

Sims with Rock Climbing Skill 7, or higher, are able to autonomously climb the Tall Wall (Such tall! So much wall!). There is no need to not face what makes you uncomfortable… autonomously.

Food Stalls at Mt. Komorebi Festivals won’t be closing shop randomly during Festival hours anymore. <guitar and piano intro> Closing time, open all the Stalls and eat all the food in the world…Closing time, turn all the lights on and let Yamachan greet you heeeere…

Create a Sim asset ymHat_EP10HelmetGoggles has been fixed to no longer display clipping around the neck area as well as we made sure no facial hair is removed when wearing this asset.

Dine Out

Experimenting with photo frames will no longer use the same picture of an Experimental Meal when displayed.

Vampires

Vampire Sims will no longer be affected by temperature, so they won’t be constantly obsessed with lighting fireplaces trying to get warm.

It's here – and a day early! Today, a free game update brings you 100+ skin tones, customization tools for skin tones and makeup, three improved base game hairstyles, and a main menu makeover. Available now to all The Sims 4 players! pic.twitter.com/p7QIIkI74d

— The Sims (@TheSims) December 7, 2020

A huge thanks to @Xmiramira @EbonixSims @MiaZaff1 @RaonyPhillips & @catherinegYT for the candid conversations & constructive feedback! Their input, representing their viewpoints alongside their player communities, was instrumental to current & future improvements. #GameChangers !

— The Sims (@TheSims) December 7, 2020

Every skin tone now has a value slider, unlocking thousands of customizable options. In addition, we made improvements to both new and existing skin tones, including strengthening the quality of suntans and sunburns.

— The Sims (@TheSims) December 7, 2020

#news #the sims 4 #ts4 #sims 4 #game patch

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dawnwave16 · 4 years

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Crash and Burn!

Marinette was over it. In the 3 months that had passed since HawkMoth's defeat. Lila's lies had grown from name dropping lies to ones that would destroy reputations in seconds if they ever came out. Adrien had seen the light when she had lied about his mother but the rest of the class still fell for everything that tumbled out of her mouth.

Due to being Ladybug, Marinette was one of the few that knew HawkMoths identity and it had unfortunately soured her dream of becoming a fashion designer. Not that that had been a bad thing as far as Marinette was concerned. Going into fashion design full time was something that Mlle Bustier had pretty much pushed her into when Marinette had made the mistake of doodling in class. Marinette's original dream had been to be able to fly F-14 Tomcat's just like her birth father. Everybody thought that Tom Dupain was her birth father but that wasn't true. Her mother had met Tom when Marinette had been four and the two had hit it off immediately. Harm had been please for Sabine, even letting her change Marinette's surname in the school records to make things easier for Sabine on parent-teacher evenings. His only condition had been that Sabine let Marinette visit him every other Christmas and on some school holidays. It was because of these visits that Marinette had started to dream of following her father into the air as soon as she was old enough. On the visit, shortly before her eleventh birthday, she had been visiting him and he'd had to go to one of the aircraft carriers for work. She couldn't remember all the hoops that had had to be jumped through to allow her to go with him but she did remember how it had ended. It had been her first time on an F-14 after all. It was a night flight and her father had insisted that the easiest way to prove that the pilots were innocent was to fly with them. He was so sure that there was nothing to worry about that he had put her into the second seat in the cockpit of the second jet. He had told her how they were flown and how to land them and she was eager to see everything from the back seat. Nobody had counted on the fact that someone had tampered with the front piolets air hoses, adding a knock out gas to them on a time-release that had only been found after they had landed. Or more accurately, after she and her father had had to take control and land the jets. It had been as scary as it was thrilling for the ten-year-old and she had vowed that she wanted to do it again. But only when she was older. It was due to this dream that Marinette had put so much effort into all her studies. Everyone thought it was just so that nobody could criticise her grades when she made it big but it was so that when she eventually graduated she could enlist in the US airforce and study law as well as how to be a piolet so that she could be just like her father. When Mlle Bustier had pushed and pushed and pushed her into fashion Marinette had let it happen and even believed that it was the right thing to do. However, she hadn't stopped the way she studied and now that her real dream was back at the forefront of her mind, she was glad that she hadn't let her study habits drop. It was as Marinette was reminiscing about all of this that Lila had started a new story. One about what it was like on an aircraft carrier, which Lila had only been on because she had been kidnapped and the captain of the carrier had saved her. She was so into her story and Marinette was so lost in her daydream that neither girl noticed the very handsome man dressed in Navy Dress Uniform standing in the doorway with a woman standing in a US Marine Dress uniform. It was only when he spoke that Marinette snapped back to the present. “There is no Navy in the world that would let a civilian walk around one of its aircraft carriers the way you are describing. It would be a serious breach of security and the captain could be court marshalled for letting it happen.” “Not to mention the only civilian to step on an aircraft carrier was a ten-year-old and her father had to jump through several bureaucratic hoops in order to let her go on board with him for the week that he was on board.” The woman added. Everyone in the class spun round to face the two of them, tensing up, except Marinette who had relaxed for the first time in ages. Her father and his wife were here and as today was the last day of school, that meant that she would be flying out to the US soon to take the first step towards her dream. Unfortunately, it seemed there would be drama from Lila first though. “Show how much you know. I'm the daughter of an Italian diplomat-” “Layla Nekane Rossi, age eighteen, born in Basque and daughter to the private secretary to the current Italian Diplomate. Father is a known con man and womaniser. You speak Italian and French although you have lived in three countries. Expelled from school in both Basque and Italy for bullying, both emotional and cyber, accused but never charged on three occasions of bullying to the point of suicide and one case of assault. Do I need to carry on?” Mac's voice was cold and hard as she spoke giving a condensed version of Lila's file. Mlle Bustier had blanched as Mac spoke and had had to sit down by the end of it. Lila was about to say something to defend herself but Harm spoke up first. “Unfortunately you finally chose the wrong person to bully. They might not have been making a fuss recently as they have finally realised that the ones she was trying to protect don't deserve it but that doesn't mean she didn't go looking for justice for your previous victims. To add to the charges from the other countries, you will be facing charges of terrorism along with one Chloé Bourgeois. As you are old enough to be tried in court as an adult, that is exactly what will be happening.” “What! That is ridiculous! Utterly ridiculous! Why am I getting charged with anything?” Chloé screeched. “You'll find out when you get to court. In the meantime, I suggest you both find a decent lawyer.” Mac said dryly. “Who are you two anyway?” Alya demanded even though she was still reeling from everything that had come out about Lila. “Lieutenant Colonel Sarah "Mac" MacKenzie, USMC and Captain Harmon ''Harm'' Rabb Jr Executive officer (XO), USS Allegiance.” The class spun round to face Marinette as she spoke. “Marinette, you know them?” Adrien asked his face a mask of confusion. “Why wouldn't I know my birth father and someone he is in an on-again-off-again relationship with? By the way, it's great to see you both again but I thought you were only meant to be coming to France in three weeks time?” Marinette's voice was just as dry as Mac's had been and the class realised that Marinette had spent a lot of time around them in order to have picked up that sort of habit. “Marinette why would they need to fetch you. You're 18, surely you are capable of travelling by yourself. Besides didn't you get invited to study at ESMOD? Or are you just travelling for a month before your new classes start?” Mlle Bustier's voice was calm but Marinette could hear the manipulative quality in it. She sighed and turned to face her old teacher. “One, I never applied to ESMOD, so I have no idea why you think they would have invited me to study there. I let you think that I wanted to be a fashion designer because that is what you were constantly telling me I should be. Yes, I like fashion but that's not what I want to do with my life, it never has been. Two, Yes I am capable of travelling by myself but why would I turn down the chance to spend time with my family. Hawkmoth and Dad's duty has kept him away for the last four years and I have missed him terribly! Skype and phone calls just aren't the same as being able to cuddle into him while watching movies. And three, if you truly want to know what I will be doing with the rest of my life I'll tell you. I plan to follow in Dad's footsteps in be a naval aviator for the US Marines and study to be a JAG. I want to fly for as long as I can though!” Harm smiled proudly as his daughter spoke then exchanged a look with Mac when their influence on her personality shone through. “Where's my hug, munchkin?” Harm said with a smirk. Marinette walked over to him and gave him a big hug her eyes squeezed closed as she soaked in her dad's reassuring presence. To Marinette, this was the best medicine she could ever have asked for. Not only was her dad here but he had exposed Lila or Layla as was her real name, in a way that couldn't be fought. He had provided hard evidence for every fact he had provided. Mlle Bustier, however, didn't seem to get the memo that Marinette was done with being manipulated by her. “Marinette are you sure about that? I mean don't you have commissions from several big-name celebrities that you get regularly?” Marinette forced herself not to growl at Mlle Bustier, not knowing that Adrien's father had walked up and was waiting at the door, listening to the answer too as Mr Agreste was still wanting to offer her an internship. “Designing was never my end-game career choice. If I wash out of basics or am injured in a way that the navy or JAG is not an option, then I will think about doing design full time. Those that have commissioned me for things know that it will never be my full-time job and that I want to serve like my dad does. They support that decision and encourage me to do my best!” Adrien walked over to her and gave her a hug, as she had stepped out of her father's arms as she spoke to Mlle Bustier. Like everyone else, he hadn't seen his father arrive but he decided to give one last parting shot to the class before he left too. “Only one person has ever asked me what I want to do with my life. When I said I didn't know she encouraged me to follow my heart. Unfortunately for almost everyone here, she has my heart. The conversation

took place three years ago so this is not a rash decision despite what most of you think. I'm leaving to follow Mari into the Navy. I have my green card etc and everything has already been legally approved, so you can't use that against me. Also, yes I do know that we probably won't be in the same unit but this is something I want to do for myself.” As soon as Adrien had finished talking the group of four walked away with the teens between the two adults, the four of them chatting away happily in English which left most of the class confused. Neither of the teens noticed Mr Agreste standing in the corridor, leaning against the wall clutching his heart as though in pain. They didn't notice the ambulance as it pulled up to fetch Mr Agreste, nor did they notice as police cars arrived to fetch Chloe and Layla. They didn't see the class trying to make sense of the mess that had been left behind them and to be honest, they didn't care. As far as Adrien and Marinette were concerned, they were free to live their lives. They had been friends for years and they became better ones when they had revealed their identities to each other after Miracle Queen. They were partners and they would face the future the way they had faced everything else: together.

@ash-amg-blog

#salt #lila salt #ms bustier salt #class salt #adrien sugar #au bio dad for marinette #marinette deserves better #badass marinette #non-designer marinette

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starlightsearches · 4 years

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People seem to depict hux as sexually dominant and while i think he’d want to be i just dont think he would know how well enough to take control so please can i request reader teaching hux how to kiss and maybe also giving him the first loving hug he’s ever had?

Lessons

I 100% agree with you on this, thank you for sending in this request!

Requests are open ✨

Armitage Hux x Reader

AN: I mentioned that I was working on an earlier request, a second part to the Hux x Reader on Arkanis. I am almost finished with that, but it got really sad towards the end and I had to take a break. That’s when this happened. I promise I haven’t forgotten about the other one; it will be out any day now 🥰

Warnings: This is kind of horny (sfw) but it’s also kind of soft, so . . . ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ also, language.

Every nerve in his body is screaming for him to leave right now, but he’s glued in place on the edge of your room, watching as you move around it so casually. This is so unlike him. He’d never believed himself capable of doing something like this. How had he ended up here?

Canto Bight had to be one of General Hux’s least favorite places. The whole planet was gaudy in the extreme, and the casino was the gaudiest spot of them all, full of drunkards and fools all laughing and screaming as they threw their credits away. Ridiculous. However, business was business, and that meant he occasionally had to venture away from the discipline of the Finalizer to meet with an informant or businessman on their terms. He had been at the casino—waiting with some reluctance for one of those meetings—when he stepped out onto the balcony for a cigarette, hoping to calm his frayed nerves and get away from all the noise.

He had only been alone a few moments before you had joined him, greeting him with a simple nod and then finding a place to lean against the balcony, a little ways away, placing a cigarette between your own lips. He had watched out of the corner of his eye as you searched through your bag, rustling through the contents of the tiny purse without any luck.

“Damn,” you said to yourself, before turning to address him, “do you have a lighter I could borrow?” That was when the trouble had started.

He walks through the interaction now as he waits for you to finish whatever it is you’re doing, moment by moment, trying to figure out exactly when he had agreed to this, but he can’t seem to remember that part. All he can remember is the way your eyes grazed over his figure as he leaned in to light your cigarette for you and the secret in your smile as you took your first drag.

“I’ve never seen you here before,” you said, casually sliding closer, “business or pleasure?”

“Business,” he had replied curtly, trying to ignore the way his throat caught when you said the word pleasure. “And yourself?”

“Oh I work here.” The rest of your conversation was a blur now, and all he could really manage to recall after that was the feeling of your breath brushing up against his ear and the tug of your hand as you led him to one of the lifts.

“Make yourself at home,” you say to him now, but there’s little chance of that happening. You’re in front of the dresser, in the process of removing the many rings and bracelets that cover your hands and arms, plucking them off one by one and dropping them into a small bowl with a plink, plink, plink. Hux should do something, like remove his suit jacket, or his tie, but he can’t. He’s having a hard enough time breathing, as it is.

He observes the room instead, which is small, neat, and wholly impersonal. There’s a window on the far side of the room and light streams in through the gap in your curtains, throwing a yellow stripe over your neatly made bed. It’s just a regular hotel room. You couldn’t possibly live here. A new thought hits him, and he goes red.

“You said you worked here,” he ventures, looking everywhere in the room but you, “what do you do?” You pull off the last of your jewelry and drop it in the bowl, leaning on the dresser and looking at him with a small smirk.

“I’m a bartender,” you say, “you caught me at the end of my shift. Why? Did you think I was . . .” You trail off when you sense his embarrassment, but the smile doesn’t leave your face as you approach him, shrugging off your own jacket and tossing it onto the floor. Your nimble fingers begin working at the knot in his tie, and he swallows hard as you discard it in the same way.

“I’ve-” he begins as you pull at his jacket, stuttering despite himself, “I’ve, uh, never done anything like this before.” He really should leave, before you start laughing at him. He feels ridiculous, no, worse. He feels inadequate. Weak. It’s only a matter of time before you recognize the mistake you made in bringing him here and force him out the door, off to find someone who knows what they’re doing.

“I’ve heard that before,” you laugh, wrapping your arms around his shoulders and pulling him closer, and he can feel you against all of him, the silky material of your dress whispering as it rubs against his own clothing. His arms stay firmly attached to his sides, his hands in fists, and he curses under his breath, looking up at the ceiling to avoid seeing all of this.

“No,” he says, his voice shaking, “I mean I’ve never done anything like this before.” You pull away from him and the playful smile is gone; instead, you study him with a gaze that’s much too sharp to be at home on a face as beautiful as yours.

“Oh?” you say at first, skeptically, like you think he’s lying, and then when he makes no response, your eyes widen in surprise. “Oh.” Hux thinks about grabbing his coat and tie off of the floor and running out the door, leaving the planet. He’d forget about the meeting. He’d forget about all of this, hopefully, with enough time. He’s about to do it, too, when you trace your hand down from his shoulder, resting it at the top of his collar, your thumb just barely grazing the hollow of his throat.

“I could teach you,” you say, looking up through your lashes, “if you wanted.” He wants it. He wants it very much. Even though he should know better, he nods, letting you take his hand again and lead him to sit on the edge of the bed. His heart is beating wildly as he watches you adjust yourself into a comfortable position, sitting with one leg propped on the bed, facing him. He’s a grown adult, not some damn adolescent, but the sight of your legs, bare underneath the hem of your skirt, is about to send him into cardiac arrest. He needs to get a hold of himself, and fast.

“First things first, you need to relax,” you say, and you bring both hands down on his shoulders. The contact is less charged, more casual than before, and you shake him, just a little, trying to get him to loosen the tension he’s holding in his back. You lean in, a very slight amount, and look him in the eyes, breathing rhythmically, and he follows your lead, his thumping heart rate slowing to a much safer level.

“Better?” you ask, and he nods again. You take it as an invitation to move closer, sliding across the mattress, only stopping once one of your knees brushes against his. The pounding of his heart returns, but it’s more manageable this time, and he doesn’t feel like he’s going to pass out. An improvement.

You stay here for a moment, allowing him to adjust to the novelty of it all. “Just let me know when you’re ready for the next step,” you say with a laugh, and he’s glad for it—that you’re handling this whole situation with humor, even if he can’t.

“Alright,” he says, and you remove one of your hands from his shoulder, taking him by the arm and guiding his hand to your waist, letting it rest there, on the curve of your hip. When you know that he’s not going to pull away, you bring your hand back, this time holding his jaw, your fingers smooth and warm against his skin.

“Look at you, doing so well,” you whisper, and—even if it’s undeserved—the praise goes straight to his head. His vision blurs for a moment before he can focus on you once again, memorizing your face in the glow of the window. He still doesn’t understand how someone like you—someone with those eyes, someone with a mouth like that, would want to kiss someone like him, but he’s not going to ruin it now. Not when he’s this close.

You brush your thumb over his mouth, pulling his lips apart just slightly, before your hand moves to the back of his neck. “Okay, remember: the whole point of this is to feel good, so if you don’t feel good, let me know, and we can stop.” He nods his head one last time, and you close the gap, pressing your mouth to his.

Good is an understatement. Incredible is an understatement. Actually, Hux is convinced that there aren’t words in any language to describe exactly how it feels to kiss you, but he tries anyways. It’s electric. Breathtaking. Sacred. You pull him closer, your other hand reaching up to the back of his neck, and he moves into you, pressing his mouth more firmly against yours, your lips parting with a small sigh.

“That was good,” you say when you pull away, and he can hear that you’re slightly breathless, “really good.” You lean back slightly, so that you can look him in the eyes again. “Do you want to keep going?”

“Yes.” He kisses you again before he’s finished the word, following you as you lean back against the bed. His other hand finds your jaw, gripping it tightly as you move beneath him, and you brace yourself against him, your hand moving to his waist, holding on to him at his ribcage.

Thin as a slip of paper. The words pass through his mind and he immediately pulls away. Hux can’t think of a worse time for his father’s voice to come back to haunt him, and he clenches his fists, his nails digging crescent shapes into the palms of his hands as he tries to banish it from his mind.

“Everything okay?” you sit up on the bed, leaning on one arm. You look like a goddess, like sex personified, with your wild hair and swollen lips. He can’t believe he did that. He can’t believe that you let him do that.

“I just . . .” how could he explain himself? You seem to understand, even if he can’t put it into words, watching him with careful eyes as you sit up and slide one leg over both of his, straddling his lap. He swallows hard, trying to keep his eyes on your face, and not on the hem of your dress, which is stretching taut between your legs.

“What are you doing?” His hands find your waist again, holding you in place because now that you’re here, he doesn’t want you to leave.

“I just wanted to get a better look at you,” you whisper, brushing your hand over his hair tenderly, and the feeling makes him shiver. No one’s ever been this gentle with him before. Your gaze combs over his face, and he closes his eyes when he feels you lean in, peppering faint kisses over his nose, his eyelids, his cheeks.

When you return to his mouth, he’s too stunned to react. This is better than he ever imagined. He’s not sure how he’ll live without it, and he wishes he could stay like this forever. Somewhere he feels wanted. Somewhere he feels safe.

A faint beeping sounds off, distracting him, and he pulls away from you to check the time.

“I should go,” he says, gently nudging you off of him so that he can stand, “I have a meeting.” He thinks that maybe he should stay, as he watches you flop back onto the bed. Damn his meeting, he’d really like to stay.

“The next time you’re back on Canto Bight,” you say, “come and find me. I want to see you again.”

“I’d like that,” he reaches for his things, pulling on his jacket and re-tying his tie, examining his reflection in the mirror.

You follow him to the doorway and he kisses you again, hard, passionate, and up against the wall. It’s better than the first time, and it makes him feel brave. “My meeting might be over in a little less than an hour,” he says tentatively, “I could—if you wanted, that is—I could come back tonight?” You kiss him again, as he pulls the door open behind him. He takes that as a yes.

#armitage hux x reader #armitage hux x you #armitage hux fan fiction #armitage hux oneshot #my writing #requests #long post #Anonymous

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allthebooksandcrannies · 4 years

Text

I know a lot of older people think it's a problem that so many young people don't want to have children, but I think it shows an increased understanding for how much of a responsibility parenting is and how much damage you can do to a child of you're not ready to raise someone.

I think that everyone is capable of being a good parent and I think that some people should never be parents. These may sound mutually exclusive but they aren't because there's a big if involved in the first half. That if, is that everyone is capable of being a good parent someday if they put in the work to take care of their own shit first.

When you become a parent or guardian, you are officially signing on to prioritize another person's physical and emotional needs before your own for the rest of their life. That means loving them no matter what they do or who they become. That means putting aside your own exhaustion and frustration at your day when they walk through the door so that you can be their champion and their confidant and their companion. That means teaching them how to process their emotions and think critically and empathetically and it means letting them find their own path, even if it's different than the one you wanted or imagined for them, but making it clear that if they need or want your comfort, your help, or just your ear that they will have it. You don't have to be perfect. No parent ever is, and it's important anyway for kids to learn in nontraumatic ways that adults make mistakes too and that's okay as long as you take responsibility for that and strive to learn and grow because of your mistakes. Kids learn by watching and listening to the adults around them and the things they conclude from those early years of observation will stick with them the rest of their lives.

I know that that sounds scary. It probably should because deciding to raise a child should be the biggest decision you can make, and if it's not, you may not be taking it seriously enough.

I also know that this is hard. And I have the greatest respect for people who truly understand this and decide to raise a tiny person anyway.

I'm also not trying to discourage you from becoming a parent. You may not be ready now, but that doesn't mean you can't be later. I personally would love to be a mom some day not I know that I have a lot of personal growth and healing I need to take care of first, to say nothing of the stabilization of my financial and career status.

The real question is what can you do to be a better parent, guardian, or even trusted adult to someone else's child (a really important and valid role and choice in itself!) later?

First off, you need to do some hard core introspection to figure out what traits and behaviors you have that might exhibit that would interfere in your ability to be a good parent. Maybe you're still emotionally immature. Maybe you're struggling with uncontrolled mental illness, chronic illness, or addiction. Maybe you've internalized some toxic ideas. Maybe you're still recovering from trauma or just now realizing that what you have even is trauma. None of these things makes you a bad person and none of them stops you from being capable to becoming a good parent. But, all of them can interfere with your ability to model healthy behaviors and coping skills to your child. Children learn through observation and, because their brains need the world to make sense and be predictable, they're going to interpret everytime you seem upset or lose your cool as being their fault. Young children aren't capable of going "mom is upset and snapped over something relatively trivial, she must be having a bad day/be tired/etc" because that's an interpretation of the world that is outside their control. Instead, they're going to go "I did x and mom got mad at me, it's my fault so I better not do x again" and that's a really harmful mindset that can contribute to self-worth issues and other mental illnesses like anxiety, especially if this happens long-term (for the record, you're going to make mistakes and you're going to snap over stupid things because being a grown-up is hard, so when you inevitably make this mistake it's important to be honest and upfront with your child about what happened, why, how it's not their fault, and you have to genuinely apologize for it, turning your mistake into a chance to model good adult behavior).

It's important to take care of yourself and let yourself grow and heal before bringing a kid into the mix because 1. you'll be a better parent if you start out in a better place emotionally and mentally, and 2. because you deserve the chance to be healthy and happy and it's much harder to address the things that are interfering with that when your also trying to juggle the additional emotional/mental demands of raising a child.

Additionally, I definitely recommend making sure you and anyone else taking a primary caretaker role in your child's life is in a stable financial and that the relationship between you and any other caretakers is stable and amicable regardless of what kind of relationship it is. The financial aspect is important because kids are expensive as hell (both the having/acquiring and the raising) and you want to be able to provide then with the best possible shot at life.

This isn't about me but I feel like the example will be helpful. We weren't poverty level growing up, but even as a child it was clear to me that we could be. My parents were 20 year old newlyweds when they got pregnant. My dad had been set up to inherit a position in his father and grandfather's construction company and did not go to college because they thought he was guaranteed a steady job. My mom was paying for a college education she couldn't afford because no one had ever explained how to get financial aid and scholarships to her and her parents were too caught up in their own shit to be anything but relieved about getting to make her future my dad's problem. Then they got pregnant. They started building a house that took much longer to build then expected because that construction business dad was expecting to inherit went out of business because it turned out that a cousin had been embezzling and my great-grandmother wouldn't let them sue or press charges against family. Mom had to drop out of college to raise me because daycare costs as much as she makes at work and she no longer has the time or funds. They had a baby they weren't prepared to raise and my dad's new job had him working in the Texas heat all day before going and working on our house at night so that we could move out of my maternal grandfather's house now that he was getting divorced and couldn't afford it. My parents society never saw each other and they were constantly worried about money. Less than two years after I was born they accidentally got pregnant with my brother. He ended up with failure to thrive and (although he did eventually recover) it raked up a serious amount of debt in addition to my mom's student loans and the mortgage. Flash forward four more years and my dad falls through a roof at a construction site and permanently cripples his ankle. Cue a year of the only breadwinner in the household being unable to work, several surgeries and massive medical bills we can't pay. A year after that my mom has to have a historectomy because her fibroids are causing immense pain and then they find pre-cancerous cells. Another year after that she starts having unexplained siezures and signs of organ failure that will take years to diagnose as a rare autoimmune disorder that will leave her disabled and, again, rake up serious medical debt. I found out in college that it came to the point that we almost lost the house but as a kid I still always knew we were struggling. And that fucks with a kid's head. There were reasons I didn't tell my parents that something was wrong for a week after I sprained my wrist when I was 10 and it wasn't just because I didn't want to sound like I was asking for attention (a phobia that also comes from having emotionally immature parents). I pushed myself ridiculously hard in school because I knew I couldn't expect any help paying for college from my parents. I still feel incredibly guilty anytime I spend more than 20 dollars even though it's my money and I need groceries or textbooks or gas or whatever. A lot of these issues would have been financially difficult and unpredictable, but had my parents been in a more stable position when they got married and started having kids, it would have been much easier to weather the storms.

Additionally, money is the main thing couples fight about, so if you can take that off the table as a significant concern before bringing kids into the mix, please do. Maslow's hierarchy of needs states that you can't address higher order concerns like personal growth of your worried about where your next meal is coming from and that goes for your children as well.

Again, I'm not trying to shame people for their financial difficulties. Most of us are playing at a game we were never intended to win and I get that not all children are planned. But, your good intentions unfortunately will not put food on the table or pay the rent and your children will have a lot less stress in their lives if you are able to make sure that things are as stable as possible before you bring them into it.

The same goes for your relationship with fellow caretakers. Don't try to have kids to save your relationship. Don't ever make your children feel like your relationship is in anyway their responsibility. Again, they need their world to make sense and if you're fighting they're probably going to assume it's somehow their fault. Don't do that to them.

Anyway, this rant turned out a lot longer than I intended but I think I needed to say it. In summary, raising children is not about you but your going to make it about you unless you take care of your own shit first. Children don't ask to be born. If you're not ready for that responsibility, either don't have kids or put in the work so that you will be. If you already have kids, and don't have your shit together, there's still time but it's going to be harder and you might have to do some damage control from any traumas you may have already inflicted on your child, regardless of your intentions. If that's the case, you have a responsibility to get your kid the help they need and do everything in your power to avoid further harm. You're the adult in this situation, and if you're going to be a parent, you need to act like it.

#parenting #emotionally immature parents #childhood trauma #parenting advice #personal rant #personal growth #original post

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freddiesaysalright · 4 years

Text

Tale as Old As Time - Chapter 5

Rami!Prince Adam x Reader

Summary: A prince cursed. A young woman aching for adventure. The classic tale of seeing beauty within.

Word Count: 4.6k

Tag List: @psychosupernatural, @someone-get-a-medic, @bensrhapsody, @deakyclicks, @crazylittlethingcalledobsession, @minigranger, @crazyweirdocalledfriday, @the-moving-finger-writes, @assembledherethevolunteers, @rose-writes-prose, @queenlover05, @26-7-49, @drowsebaby, @im-an-adult-ish, @xviiarez, @rogerina-owns-me, @brianssixpence, @mirkwoodshewolf, @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhye, @queenmylovely, @queen-paladin, @hah0106

A/N: The grand finale! Thanks to everyone who has supported and loved this story!

Warning(s): Mild descriptions of violence

Moodboard

Prologue Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4

Chapter 5 here we go!!!

When you arrived home, the windows of the house were dark, save your father’s bedroom. You released Dotty into the pasture and flew inside. You already heard your father coughing.

“Papa!” you cried as you burst into his room.

Your father was lying in bed, barely conscious. He didn’t acknowledge your entrance. You went to his side and took his hand. His skin was as cold as ice.

“Papa?” you whispered, looking desperately at his tired face. “Papa, it’s me. I’m home.”

“Y/N?” came a voice from the doorway.

You looked up and saw Lyle standing there. He had a bowl of something steaming on a tray, but he nearly dropped it upon seeing you.

“Lyle!” you sighed gratefully. “Please, tell me what’s going on with my father.”

“I’m afraid it’s taken a turn for the worse,” he said. “It’s odd, since his sickness isn’t very aggressive. But it could be the stress of losing you and his confrontation with Victor.”

Your brow furrowed. “What?”

Lyle explained to you that after you left, and Paul returned, he had gone straight to the village, looking frantic. He ran into Victor, who decided at that moment to talk to Paul about the marriage. He gathered the whole town into the square and announced your engagement. But Paul retaliated. He publicly stated that he had not given his blessing to the marriage and did not approve of the match. Then he said you had been taken captive by some monster living in the old palace. He asked all the men to gather their weapons and follow him there to rescue you. Unfortunately, no one believed the story.

“No one believed him?” you questioned.

Lyle raised an eyebrow at him. “Well, it’s not true, is it?”

“It is true!” you insisted. “Only, he’s not really a monster. He may look frightening, but he’d never hurt anybody.”

The pharmacist’s eyes went wide. “Y/N, you can’t be serious! You must realize how this sounds -”

“Well, then what do people think happened to me?” you wondered.

“They just thought you’d gotten lost,” he explained. “Victor told us you had gone to the big city. He led a search party for you, and they looked for weeks, but eventually, most of them assumed the worst. However, Victor has continued to look daily.”

You rolled your eyes.

“Are you really going to marry him?” Lyle asked.

You shook your head. “No, I couldn’t now. Not when I…” you trailed off. “It doesn’t matter. I don’t love Victor and I’ve decided to end our engagement.”

“That’s a relief,” Lyle said. “He doesn’t deserve you.”

You smiled at him. Afterward, Lyle told you to get some rest after your journey, and that he would keep an eye on your father. As you crawled into your bed, the difference was clear. This didn’t really feel like home anymore. You missed Rami and the castle now just as much as you’d missed your father when you were there. Your heart was torn in two.

Rami had given up on sleep. He remained sadly next to the rose, watching as the petals wilted and fell. He let out a soft whimper. He missed you so much already and it had only been a day. How did he expect to go on with his life now that he had known you? Now that he had lost you? It seemed impossible.

The next day, you woke and went to make yourself some breakfast. You opted for your preserves. Lyle emerged from your father’s room.

“How is he today?” you asked.

“Much the same,” Lyle said. “I’m sorry I don’t have better news, Y/N.”

“It’s alright,” you sighed, though you knew it was a lie. “Can I make you some breakfast?”

“Sure,” he agreed.

You opened the jar. Your father had already been into it, apparently, but you stopped and stared at it. They were grossly discolored.

“That’s odd,” you said. “I made these to last all winter. This is a relatively fresh jar. How could it be spoiled already?”

Lyle shrugged. “It was your first try at it. Don’t be too upset you got one wrong.”

“I didn’t get it wrong,” you insisted. “I know I did everything right.”

“Y/N, don’t be stubborn, anyone could have made a mistake,” he replied.

You frowned at him, but he ignored you. You went to get a new jar and you used that instead.

You and Lyle cared for your father all day. There was no improvement. You were suspicious of this rapid development of new symptoms. Symptoms he had never shown before. Fever, chills, nausea, and delirium. Paul would call for you as you stood beside him, completely unaware that you were home. He hardly noticed Lyle either. Another hopeless feeling came over you. For a distraction, you went to begin dinner. Lyle agreed to stay for the meal, since you were certain your father had no more money to pay him.

Just as you were placing the soup in front of Lyle, the front door opened. There stood Victor, who was taken aback by the sight of you.

“What are you doing here?” you demanded, putting your hands on your hips.

“Y/N!” Victor cried, shifting into his normal, annoying disposition. “I’m so happy you’re safe and home! I was just coming to check on Paul.”

He started to cross the room - arms open - but you dodged the embrace. You doubted every word he said. Victor was vain and proud, and he would have no kindness toward someone who had humiliated him.

“Victor, we need to talk,” you said. “I heard about what happened with my father, and I think we should clarify some things.”

His brow furrowed. “I...alright.”

You led him outside to spare Lyle the discomfort of having to witness your break up. Victor seemed agitated, like you’d just caught him in the middle of something. You pushed this observation to the back of your mind. Victor was almost always up to something.

“I agree that our engagement needs clarification, Y/N,” he began, resuming his usual air of arrogance. “Your father had everyone confused. Especially with all that talk of a beast.”

“Well, whether or not you believe in the beast doesn’t bother me,” you said. “My father was right. I’m not going to marry you.”

His eyes went wide. Something flashed behind them, so quickly you almost missed it. His whole face shifted. He looked dangerous.

“What?” he returned.

“I’m taking back my acceptance,” you said. “What I’ve learned these last few months being away is that I need to live my life for me. I won’t imprison myself by becoming your wife.”

He scowled. “Is that so?”

“Yes,” you said assuredly, trying to conceal how frightened you were.

He looked sharply away, releasing a low breath, before facing you again.

“Who is he?” he questioned.

“Who is who?” you shot back.

“The other man, Y/N!” he shouted. “There’s someone else, I know it!”

“It’s no longer your concern, Victor!” you returned.

A beat passed and you collected yourself.

“Good day,” you said calmly, and started back inside.

You didn’t get very far. Victor snatched your wrist and yanked you back toward him. You yelped in surprise and the sudden pain from his twisting your arm. He grabbed a fistful of your hair with his free hand, and his nails scraped your scalp. You winced as he forced your face within inches of his own.

“You really were at the palace, weren’t you?” he said. “The beast your father spoke of is real, isn’t it?”

“Let me go,” you replied, struggling against his grip.

“Isn’t it?!” he demanded.

Fear struck your heart. You had never seen such a wild, inhuman look in Victor’s eyes before. He was crazed.

“I - it’s true,” you admitted.

He laughed a mirthless, empty laugh. “You are just pathetic. Don’t tell me you love this beast!”

“He’s not a beast, Victor!” you snapped, gaining courage for Rami. “He’s a prince!”

“A prince, is he?” he mocked. “Don’t be ridiculous. The prince was killed by the same monster that killed the king and queen.”

“The only monster I see is you!”

He glowered at you and brought your face close to his again.

“I’ll have you for my wife, Y/N,” he spat. “And I will eliminate anyone who gets in my way.”

You felt his breath hot on your face.

“By the way, how’s your father been enjoying his breakfast?” he sneered.

Your eyes went wide as a chill ran up your spine.

“You poisoned him?!” you gasped.

“I will eliminate anyone who gets in my way,” he repeated. “But I can see my methods with your father are far too time consuming. I will remove the beast much faster.”

He glanced at his sword.

“I won’t let you!” you cried, and tried once again to wrench yourself free. You could only wince as his grip tightened.

“You can’t stop me,” he said.

With that, he began to drag you toward the cellar. You fought fiercely against him, but he was too strong. He hurled you down into the darkness. You scrambled to your feet and tried to charge back up the stairs, but the cellar doors were slammed in your face. You heard him slide the wood through the handles to lock it.

“Don’t worry, Y/N, you’ll live in the palace again when I buy it,” he said. “And you’ll remember who you really belong to with the beast’s head mounted on our wall.”

You sucked in a sharp breath. As Victor’s evil laughter died down and you heard him gallop away on his horse, your mind began working on ways to get out. You could call for help, but Lyle would not be able to hear you from the house. Your father made the cellar soundproof years ago so he would not disturb you while you read. This was the first time you had ever regretted it.

You put your hands in front of you and began to make your way slowly through the darkness. It was pitch black in the cellar, which only heightened your panic. You had to do something to get out. You had to reach Rami before Victor did.

Rami left his room for the first time since you left, that evening. He had no real destination in mind, but the sight of the rose was beginning to make him ill. It felt like looking at his own doom.

He found that a stroll around the castle didn’t help his gloomy mood. Everything now reminded him of you. He passed the library and peeked through the doors, half expecting to see you asleep at one of the tables. Only, it was empty. He went to the dining room and recalled the first time you had dined together after learning his name. It felt so quiet now without your voice. As he went past the ballroom where he had danced with you, just nights ago, a sharp pang hit his heart. With a low growl, he slammed the doors shut.

“Prince Rami?” asked Mrs. Carson. “I know you’re not alright, so I won’t ask that. But I will ask this - is there anything we can do for you?”

Rami shook his head. “Nothing matters now.”

She sighed and watched him walk on, heading back toward the west wing.

“Would you like to take a turn around the garden, sir?” she called after him, but he didn’t answer. “Prince Rami?”

He ignored her again and then disappeared down the corridor. She shook her head. As she turned to go back to her own room, she saw Daisy coming down the hall.

“Mrs. Carson, would it be alright if I went down to the village once a week?” she asked. “I know Y/N had to go, but I’d really like to continue my lessons with her. D’you think she’ll still have me?”

Mrs. Carson smiled. “Of course she would, Daisy. I think we can spare you once a week.”

“You don’t think the master will mind?” she wondered.

“Not at all,” Mrs. Carson assured her. “He wants you to learn, and he can eat sandwiches for his meals one day out of seven.”

Daisy beamed. “Could I go down to the village tonight? To check with Y/N?”

“Sure,” Mrs. Carson said. “You may take the guest horse down. But I’d suggest staying the night with Y/N if you can. It’ll be late by the time you get there.”

“Alright,” Daisy agreed. “Will you tell the master?”

“Of course.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Carson!”

She took off down the hall. Mrs. Carson chuckled to herself. Perhaps Daisy would be a reason for you to return, if Rami was not enough.

The housekeeper continued her rounds. She was putting some linens away when she heard a scream from the main entrance of the castle. She jumped, dropping the linens, but took off in the direction of the cry. She was not far, and when she arrived moments later, she understood. Thomas was sprawled out by the front door, bleeding from his head. Anna was beside him, in tears.

“Oh, Mrs. Carson, look!” she cried. “Something awful has happened!”

Mrs. Carson knelt down and patted Thomas’s cheek.

“Thomas!” she said desperately. “Thomas, are you alright?”

Anna put her fingers to his neck.

“He has a pulse,” she said. “So he’s alive, just knocked out.”

“But who would have done this?” Mrs. Carson wondered.

“Look!” Anna gasped, and pointed to the tile floor.

Mrs. Carson followed her finger and then she saw it. Large, dusty boot prints.

“Someone’s here,” Mrs. Carson said grimly.

Anna gulped.

Rami was in his room when he heard Anna scream. He left there and headed toward the stairs to investigate. Only, he was brought to a halt when he saw someone he did not recognize standing in the hallway. His hackles rose and he started to growl.

“Who are you?” Rami demanded. “You’re not welcome here!”

The man was tall and handsome. And his clothes indicated he had some money. Not royalty money, but enough to afford finer fabrics. He swiftly unsheathed his sword and brandished it.

“I’m Y/N’s fiance,” the man said. “You will no longer terrorize this palace.”

Rami froze. Fiance? You had never mentioned a fiance - or any other man in your life besides your father. Since when were you engaged?

“Fiance?” he questioned.

The man began to laugh. “My name is Victor Prouvaire, foul beast. For my dear Y/N’s honor….”

The man continued to speak, but Rami didn’t hear him. All he could feel was that his heart was impossibly more broken than when you left. He was suffocating all of a sudden. His eyes stung with fresh tears. You were engaged. To a handsome, strong, rich man.

He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he almost didn’t catch Victor charging at him. Rami quickly dove to the side, narrowly avoiding the stroke of Victor’s sword. Rami turned and ran back toward his room.

Meanwhile, you were still locked in the cellar. The only thing you had managed to find was your father’s rubber mallet. You were whacking away at the doors, but the block holding them shut was stronger than the swing of your arm. You were already out of breath and sweating.

“Come on!” you shouted as you gave it one more thwack.

Nothing happened. Exhausted you sank to your knees.

“Oh, no,” you whispered to yourself. “Rami, I’m so sorry.”

You sat still for a moment, trying to think of any other solution or way out. Then you heard a slow clip clop of horses hooves. You thought at first that it was Victor, but the horse’s steps weren’t heavy enough to be his.

You only had one shot. You banged your fists against the door as hard as you could.

“HEEEEEEELP!” you screamed. “HELP ME, PLEASE!”

“Y/N?”

The voice you heard could have knocked you off your feet with the relief it brought.

“Daisy!” you cried. “Daisy, hurry, unlock the door!”

You heard the block slide out and then she tugged the doors up and open. You ran up the stairs and pulled her into the tightest hug you’d ever given anyone.

“Y/N, what’s happening?” she wondered. “Why were you locked in there?!”

“It’s a long story,” you said. “But we’ve got to get back to the palace as quick as we can, Rami’s in trouble.”

“W - what?!” she stammered.

“There’s no time to explain, we’ve got to go now!”

You quickly mounted her horse and helped her up behind you. She put her arms around your waist and you urged the horse forward. You galloped back into the woods with only one goal in mind - save Rami.

Rami was struggling to keep avoiding the swipe of Victor’s sword. He didn’t want to hurt Victor if he was someone you cared about, no matter how much it hurt Rami to think it.

Rami wanted to avoid his own room, so he led Victor into a guest room. There the struggle continued. Rami was dodging every stroke until he was backed against the window. Victor moved to lop Rami’s head off, but the prince ducked. Victor shattered the glass window, and Rami quickly jumped through it onto the balcony.

“What’s the matter, beast?” Victor taunted. “Too heartbroken to fight back?”

Rami didn’t answer. Mostly because it was true. He had no heart to fight. His heart was with you in the village. It would remain with you until his dying days.

“Did you really think she would love you?” Victor continued. “What woman could ever love you, when she could have me?”

Finally, Rami was backed up onto the railing of the balcony. He growled nervously. He had to make a move or risk falling to his death. With a snarl, he struck out with his paw. Victor had been drawing his sword back, so Rami hit him square in the jaw. Victor reeled back, and Rami moved to run past him back inside, but there was a crack of thunder. The sound caused Rami to lose his balance and he tumbled off the rail.

He reacted quickly. He twisted around and snatched the rail in his paw. His hind legs just barely touched the roof of the room below. But rain began to spill from the heavy clouds above, making his grip on both things slippery.

Victor got to his feet, a wicked gleam in his eye.

“Oh, I’ve got you right where I want you now, beast,” he said. “Y/N is mine!”

Thunder boomed and lightning flashed, lighting up Victor’s deranged face. He raised his sword over his head, preparing to deliver a devastating and deadly blow. Rami squeezed his eyes shut and thought only of you. If these were to be his last moments, he would remind himself of his dearest friend, and the only woman he ever loved.

“NO!” someone screamed.

Rami opened his eyes and looked up through the rain. You had cast yourself between him and Victor’s sword, and you were struggling with the man, pushing him back away from the balcony.

Rami took this moment to heave himself up. He was astonished to see you, but pleased. He was even more grateful that you were there to protect him. Victor dislodged himself from you and shoved you hard to the ground. Rami saw red and let out a roar as he threw himself at Victor.

Victor, caught unaware by Rami, dropped his sword. You grabbed it and walked over to where Rami had Victor pinned to the floor. You pointed the sword at Victor’s throat.

“Get out,” you said. “You are never to come near me or Rami again, do you understand?”

“I understand,” Victor said reluctantly.

You glanced at Rami. He met your gaze and nodded. He released Victor, who got to his feet. You hurled the sword over the balcony. Victor gasped when you did.

“You can’t use it to threaten anyone else,” you said. “Now leave us alone.”

Victor looked between you and Rami and with a huff, started to walk away. You and Rami only had eyes for each other.

“He said he was your fiance,” Rami began.

“He was,” you admitted. “But I called off the engagement.”

Rami took your hands in his paws and pressed them to his face. His warm, soft face.

“I’m glad to hear that,” he said. “Is your father alright?”

“He will be,” you said. “Once I tell the pharmacist to treat him for poisoning.”

“Y/N, are you seri -”

He was cut short when Victor appeared again, this time with a dagger, which he plunged right into Rami’s side. You let out a scream of horror as he howled and reared back, inadvertently taking Victor with him. Victor stumbled when Rami thrashed, and then the former hit the balcony rail. Fearing Rami would topple over it, you grabbed his arm and pulled him toward you.

Victor, however, was not so fortunate. He slipped on the wet stones, went over the railing, and was not long or quick enough to recover and grab on to something. You heard his yell fade as he fell into the darkness.

You eased Rami down to the ground, cradling his head in your lap. His labored breathing frightened you.

“Easy, Rami,” you said soothingly.

“I - I’m so happy you came back,” he panted.

“Don’t talk now,” you replied gently. “Just hold on while I get you some help.”

You started to get up.

“No!” he protested, keeping you to him. “Don’t leave me. Please.”

You turned your head and shouted for Mrs. Carson, hoping she could hear you.

“Just hold on, Rami,” you went on.

“Y/N, I need to...I nee...there’s something I must tell you,” he said.

“Don’t worry about that right now,” you returned, adjusting his jacket to cover him tighter. “You’ll have plenty of time to tell me.”

He shook his head. A lump appeared in your throat as your lower lip quivered.

“Rami, please,” you whimpered. “Don’t leave me. Please…”

He offered a weak, shaky smile. “I’m j-just happy I could see you...one more time…”

“Rami…” his name fell feebly from your lips.

“Y/N…” he breathed.

His eyes closed softly. His head slumped to his right. His chest stilled.

“Rami,” you said, clutching handfuls of his shirt. Tears slid down your cheeks. “Rami, don’t leave me.”

You became frantic. “Rami, please! Please!”

You tried to shake him, but he was too large and too far gone. You didn’t hear Mrs. Carson, Anna, and Daisy approach - they had put Thomas to bed - and they watched you call for their master. Daisy clapped a hand over her mouth. Anna looked away. Mrs. Carson had tears down her own cheeks.

“Rami,” you sobbed. “I love you.”

You rested your head on his chest and wept openly. It seemed impossible that you should lose him now when you had come so far. Rami had become your best friend and the love of your life. He saw you for who you were - as more than a pretty face. And you saw him for who he was - a kind, gentle, and generous prince. It couldn’t be true that he was gone.

“Girl,” said a smooth, sultry voice from above you.

You looked up and saw the most beautiful woman you had ever seen. She was gold and glowing. You might have mistaken her for an angel if the air around her didn’t suddenly feel dangerous.

“Do you speak truly when you say you love this creature?” she asked.

“He’s not a creature,” you returned defensively. “He’s a prince.” You paused to take a deep breath. “And the love of my life.”

The woman opened her hands and between them appeared the rose from Rami’s room. It had just one more petal. You watched with bated breath as it came loose and flitted down. The rose lost the pink hue around it.

“The curse is broken,” she said. “Just in time.”

You narrowed your eyes at her, realizing who she was. The enchantress who had done this to Rami in the first place.

“You’re horrible,” you spat. “It’s not just in time. It’s much too late.”

She smirked at you and it sent a chill up your spine.

“Not quite, girl.”

The rose stem turned to bright pink dust in her hands. Then it all turned gold. The particles fell over Rami like fresh snow. They then sank into his fur. A soft glow began peeking through, as if coming from inside him, and his body began to rise off the ground.

“Stand back,” the enchantress instructed you.

You hesitantly released your hold on Rami and got to your feet. Mrs. Carson took your arm and pulled you over to them. All eyes were fixed on Rami’s slowly ascending form. The glow inside him grew brighter, and then beams of light emerged from all over him - his mouth, his eyes, the tips of his fingers and toes. You gasped as you watched his body contort and change with the movement of the light. His paws turned into human hands, his back legs turned to human ones, his shoulders shrunk and lost the hair, his face was completely engulfed in light. The wind picked up and then Rami was returning to the ground. He was smaller than before, and had lost his coat. He was a fully formed man.

He lay still for a moment on the ground, and you feared that it hadn’t worked. You were too frightened to approach. You let out a breath you didn’t realize you were holding when he finally stirred, pushed himself onto his knees, and then rose to his full height. He examined himself and a smile formed over his lips. He whipped around to face you.

“Y/N?” he questioned.

He was so handsome. He had smooth skin. A strong jaw. Thick, curly, dark hair that reminded you a lot of the fur you had become so familiar with. His body was lean and healthy. He looked like a hero to you.

Mrs. Carson gave you a nudge toward him. You inched over.

“Y/N, it’s me,” he said, holding out his hand.

With a full stride, you came closer, reaching out for him as well. When your hands clasped, you felt his warm skin for the first time. He pulled you slowly forward until you were face to face.

“Rami?”

He looked deeply into your eyes and nodded. Those beautiful eyes you had come to know were there. You saw behind them the Rami you loved.

“It really is you!” you cried.

You threw yourself into his arms. He spun you around and you laughed together in celebration. Your heart felt so light, it could have floated right out of your chest. When he set you down, he cupped your face in his hands.

“I love you,” you said again.

“I love you more,” he returned.

With that, he kissed you. A passionate, jubilant, true love’s kiss. Neither of you noticed the enchantress disappear from the balcony. Daisy, Anna, and Mrs. Carson were all dabbing their eyes.

“Mrs. Carson, are they going to live happily ever after?” Daisy asked.

“I believe so,” Mrs. Carson sniffled.

You and Rami giggled at each other, cheeks aching from all the smiling. Then, you kissed your handsome prince once more. As you would do for the rest of your days.

***

With Rami returned to himself, you went to the village to get your father. Rami paid for him to be treated, and cured, with a doctor coming to check on him periodically to be sure. The villagers were thrilled to have their prince. Many people came to work at the palace, including Elaine, who had taken to Daisy. You and Rami married as soon as you could. It was a grand and beautiful affair. And Daisy was right. You lived happily ever after.

~The End~

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theunderdogwrites · 3 years

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If you have a problem with Cookie Monster, then I have a problem with you.

Someone recently asked me how I come up with things to write about and post. Well, these posts are bona fide dumps of random thoughts that sneak in when I’m not engaging any part of my brain. I love them because they’re unpolished and exactly how my mind endlessly prattles on in conversation with itself. Truth be told, it’s usually in the shower. And the dumping of these words here is comparable to spring cleaning. It helps to declutter the mind too from time to time.

Last week my Mom and I were talking about the recent decision by Dr. Seuss Enterprises to stop publishing six of their books because of racist and insensitive imagery. For all the people screaming out there – THE COMPANY MADE THIS CHOICE. They were not forced by cancel culture, but rather listened and took feedback from audiences including teachers, academics and specialists in the field as part of a review process. This is called being responsible and allowing for growth through intelligent conversations. The company recognizes that certain depictions of Asians and Black people are hurtful and wrong and have taken steps to acknowledge these facts. They are NOT banning these books and have said they’re committed to listening and learning going forward.

Here is the list of the six book titles and the year they were first published:

- And to Think That I Saw It on Mulberry Street (1937)

- McElligot’s Pool (1947)

- If I Ran the Zoo (1950)

- Scrambled Eggs Super! (1953)

- On Beyond Zebra (1955)

- The Cat’s Quizzer (1976)

Have you ever stumbled upon a journal or something you wrote 10 years ago and it made you cringe? Anyone who says NO to this is probably in possession of some of the worst poetry by their hand, in the world. I know that if I was to release some of the stuff I wrote down from a number of years ago (and in reality, some stuff as recent as 3-4 years ago) I’d be embarrassed by their level of absolute lameness. I write with emotion and unless you’re Tucker Carlson or stunted inside from your head to your toes, you know what it means to evolve. It is what we’re supposed to do, otherwise we are simply stuck in one place forever and I for one can’t think of anything more grotesque than remaining the same.

“You are being presented with a choice: evolve or remain. If you choose to remain unchanged, you will be presented with the same challenges, the same routine, the same storms, the same situations, until you learn from them, until you love yourself enough to say “no more”, until you choose change.

If you choose to evolve, you will connect with the strength within you, you will explore what lies outside the comfort zone, you will awaken to love, you will become, you will be. You have everything you need.

Choose to evolve. Choose love.”

Creig Crippen

It is OK to make mistakes, especially when you don’t know any better. Applying how we have grown as a society to the way we behaved 80 years ago is absurd. We are allowed the opportunity to become better before an angry mob comes along and without discussion wants to rip our character to shreds. There are so many chances for real conversations to promote development that are not happening because people are being so quick to condemn and cancel. Fucking stop it! You’re not a crusader. You’re not the moral authority. You are not the Universe’s gift to man/womankind placed here to draw red circles and X’s on every little thing you deem ‘incorrect’. What you are, I suspect, is empty. And I do not know what it is you’re missing, but you won’t find it in a state of ‘over-wokeness’ and tumbling around looking to smite Cookie Monster for passionately enjoying baked goods.

There have been calls to tear down statues and eradicate movies and people for basically what is THE PAST. If you have an actual working time machine, I suppose you can go back to the set of ‘Dirty Harry’ because apparently:

“The film mocks liberal judges and do-gooders, and the villain claims police brutality, planting the seed that other such charges are fake moves to get sympathy.”

I can’t even with that one.

The removal of statues… ok, I understand this one. But I am not of the mind where these statues should be destroyed and essentially erased from history. I am fully onboard with placing the offending bronzed individuals into a museum with a plaque stating something along the lines of: ‘Once upon a time many of us had some crazy fear-based ideas and poor ethics that marginalized large groups of our fellow human beings and created negative stereotypes resulting in a great deal of hurt. We are trying to be better than those placed before you behind the velvet ropes.’

The past cannot be expunged. But it can be a teaching tool. And in some cases, the past can be used to say – “We still suck, but we’re at least trying to evolve into improved people!”

Sadly, instead, we’re taking down Pepé Le Pew. Let’s not believe women when they come forward with claims of sexual abuse, but let’s ban together and get this cartoon skunk with perceived rapist qualities, cancelled. Bravo. Has Pepé Le Pew been a naughty guy? Well, if you break down his actions through the lens of adults – he is incredibly aggressive and borders on being a pervert. I also suspect he’s a chronic masturbater. I grew up watching Looney Tunes (which should surprise NO ONE) and I never liked that skunk. But not because he was overly persistent in his search for love, rather because he was so obnoxious. Worst character on the show. If anything, the French should be offended because I grew up believing all French people were smelly, forceful jerks.

I am flabbergasted at what we are finding urgent and of significance these days. We allow ourselves to become distracted with the stupidest things; revealing exactly where our priorities are placed. Now do not come at me and accuse me of saying racism is not important. Sit your little crusading ass back down because that is not a thought I’d ever possess. This post is not about racism.

I do not give a flying fuck if you hate Megan Markle, love Megan Markle or think Oprah practices her reactionary facial expressions daily in the mirror, but the fact a pregnant woman went on TV in front of MILLIONS of people and admitted to being suicidal while pregnant with her first child and was met with indifference, ridicule and hate… is fucking disgusting.

The mental health status of a pregnant mother is less important than going after Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street because he is misrepresenting homelessness. Oscar is NOT homeless. He lives in a garbage can and if you knew anything, you’d know that garbage can is spacious and in terms of square footage, it is probably the most expensive home in the neighborhood. See? I can distract with silly things too.

I am going to end all this randomness with a warning…

Victor Frankenstein created his monster from old body parts and strange chemicals and it was brought to life by a mysterious spark. The monster is large and strong but with the intelligence of a newborn. Victor abandons the monster, leaving him confused and when he tries to integrate himself into society, he is shunned. Seeking revenge on his creator, he kills Victor’s younger brother. Then after Victor destroys his work on the female monster meant to ease the monster’s pain and solitude, the monster murders Victor’s best friend and then his new wife.

Ok, I think it is wonderful that our society is taking inventory of certain items and doing our best to right some wrongs… even though I believe many people are being persnickety assholes. But what has been created recently… let’s call it ‘cancel culture’, where “THEY” (please someone tell me who all the THEY people are because I’d like to know who is this organized) seemingly go in search of people, places and things to ostracise… is starting to create a monster of a backlash. (Again, this is not about race/racism so don’t start chirping about white privilege etc.)

If you listen carefully, you can hear the groaning. And the frustration. This isn’t about going after history or childhood memories and bleaching them clean of inappropriateness by today’s standards, it’s about trying to control what people are allowed to think, feel and speak. And the people are getting annoyed. Just like Frankenstein’s Monster when his grotesque appearance wasn’t accepted by society. And we all know what happened next.

#dr seuss #pepe le pew #cancel culture #frankenstiensmonster #oscarthegrouch #megan markle #covid

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sketch-shepherd-art · 3 years

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Ginga Togyushi Taurus: Chapter 17

Chapter 17: The Raid

Another week passed for Taurus to sharpen his fighting skills, and training sessions became increasingly shorter as Taurus had fewer mistakes to correct. Though he was still far from perfect, Wakame kept close watch of his forms and knew that his abilities were substantial enough. At the end of another lesson on the last day of the second week, Wakame was just about to return to the Iga Center when the voice of her own subordinate stopped her in her tracks.

"Wakame-san!" Fubuki called out as he dashed right towards the Iga leader and nearly collapsed when he caught up to her. "We're... we're..."

"Save your breath, Fubuki," Wakame ordered. "What's going on?"

"The forest... is being raided!" Fubuki explained best he could, panting in exhaustion from running. "By wild boars! Those wild boars! The ones that live in the forest just outside Mie!"

"Wild boars?!" Shou exclaimed as he approached beside Wakame. "What 'n the goddamn hell are those pigs doing in Iga territory?!"

"I... I don't know!" Fubuki stammered. He opened his mouth to speak again, but Shou and Wakame instead heard a horrible squeal echo from less than ten feet nearby. Out of nowhere, a large boar dashed out of the bushes with three dogs clinging to his back, but the latter threw them right off without any struggle.

"Hey, you ugly!" Shou insulted, prompting the boar to snort and immediately turn around. "What the hell is your deal stumbling into Iga territory and wrecking everything with your butt-ugly faces?"

"Ask your own followers that question!" the boar replied sternly. "Three of your snotty kids walked into our territory trying to make heroes out of themselves by stealing our food and ridiculing my men!"

"What in the...? Who?!"

"We're sorry, Wakame-san!" Raiko and his goons suddenly darted across the Iga Center with two boars pursuing close behind them. "We swear we didn't know it'd make them this angry!"

"Oh, you little shitheads!" Shou cursed again. "I swear on Hakutaka's ghost, by the time this is over I promise your backsides are gonna be red as the blood of the swines I kill today!"

"Wakame, look out!" Fubuki's warning alerted the Iga leader as the boar leader charged right towards her from behind. The pig completely missed his target and instead collided head-on into a tree. Unexpectedly, he felt Wakame's fangs sink deep into his snout as she landed on him from above, causing him to jerk his head back in pain. After the boar aggressively thrashed his head up and down several times, Wakame finally lost her grip and felt herself thrown onto the ground just below the same tree.

Just moments before the wild boar could charge at her again, a red flash suddenly appeared and latched itself onto the back of the boar's neck. The hooved demon squealed loudly and struggled to buck Taurus off him, surprised that even the small pup seemed to have a stronger bite force than Wakame did. Unfortunately, after another hard shake from the larger mammal, Taurus let go completely and landed on the ground right next to Wakame.

"Don't worry! I'm coming Taurus!" Cicada announced as she ran directly right towards the two incapacitated dogs, her sword and holster now attached to her back. All of a sudden, another white dog obstructed Cicada’s path.

"Cicada, what are you doing?!" the female dog shouted. "It's dangerous for you to be out here!"

"What do you even think I'm doing, mom?!" Cicada responded with agitation. "The entire Iga village is being raided!"

"I said go home, Cicada! Stop disobeying me and leave the fighting to the adults!"

"NO! I'm tired of you constantly holding me back like this! My friends are in danger! There's no time for you to worry about my self-image right now!"

"This isn't about you being ridiculed; this is about your safety! We can't keep wasting time while the lives of our fellow Iga are at stake right now so MOVE!"

"No, mother," Cicada growled, staring up sharply at her disapproving parent.

"What did you just say? I didn't raise you to disobey me."

"No! But you did raise me to be a shinobi! Isn't that what the Iga was meant to do? What kind of shinobi am I if I don't help fight alongside our own brethren?"

"That's enough, Cicada! I- AGH!"

"Mom!" Cicada screamed in despair as a boar suddenly rammed its snout into her mother's side, sending her flying until her back struck the wall of a boulder. Cicada momentarily froze in terror, but quickly swallowed her fear and at long last drew out her sword.

"I'm sorry mom," Cicada said with the handle of the sword between her teeth. "I can't keep shirking my duties as an Iga any longer."

"Cicada..." was all her mother could manage to say as she painstakingly struggled back to all fours.

Cicada had no time to worry about Taurus and Wakame anymore. With about five boars completely closing in on her and her now defenseless mother, Cicada ferociously sprinted right towards them. Even after standing back up, Cicada's mother was unable to lend a fang in the fight. Not because she was wounded, but because her own daughter was already doing the work for her.

The fight she was watching quickly turned into a blur of red and white as Cicada evaded every single one of the boar's attempts to maul her. And every time she did, she continuously redirected her path and furiously sliced at the boars with her blade, mortally wounding them one by one until all five of them were either dead or immobilized.

As the ongoing chaos between the dogs and the boars unfolded, one smaller boar stepped out in front of Shou.

"Hehe. Can't fight well, old man?" the hog ridiculed.

"DON'T CALL ME AN OLD MAN!" Shou bellowed, and the boar instantly realized his grave mistake. The swine didn't have a second to turn around and escape before the elderly Kishu bolted right after him and grabbed his hind leg. With his immense physical strength alone, Shou effortlessly slammed the 100 pound boar back and forth against the ground multiple times. With the giant pig now in a daze, the canine then swung the entire creature around like a flail, using the boar's own body as a weapon against several other boars.

"I... really... HATE... you... PIGS!" Shou hollered each word with every single boar he struck. Finally, with one last swing, Shou let go of the boar as it flew into its own leader, knocking him down and giving the exhausted Taurus and Wakame some time to recover.

"Sai!" Taurus called over to the cowering pup that was hiding in the bushes. "Come on out! We need your help!"

"I-I can't," the frightened pup mumbled, his entire body quivering.

"Sai, come on! The boar's gonna get back up; we can't keep holding him off! Aren't you a shinobi too?!"

"But... but," Sai fearfully leaned back further into the bushes, unable to bring himself to fight. All of a sudden, an agonizing scream erupted in the middle of the commotion. Sai, Taurus, and Shou all turned their heads, mortified at what had caused the sound. Wakame was down on the ground again, but with a bright red wound just below her rib where the boss boar had impaled her with his tusk.

"How dare you..." Sai's vision shortly became blurry from tears, and then turned dark as he closed his eyes to fight back his inner struggle that was preventing him from doing what an Iga should have been doing. "GET AWAY FROM MY AUNT!"

Sai sprinted right towards the boss boar and hooked his small but powerful fangs onto the spot just underneath his left eye.

"Sai!" Taurus exclaimed in both shock and amazement. The hog reacted uncontrollably, squealing in pain even louder as Sai continued to bite and pull at the soft spot. When Sai finally released, a trail of blood shot out from the fresh new cut just under the boar's eye. The puppy landed on the ground triumphantly for a moment, but quickly became intimidated again as the enraged boar slowly turned to face him, snorting heavily as the blood trickled down his new wound.

Sai faltered, but then whiffed the air for a split second.

The smell of... water? An idea had found its way into Sai's head, and the juvenile immediately took off directly towards the woods.

"Sai, no!" Taurus barked as he set foot right after the boar. Cicada, having just finished her previous fight, quickly took notice of the chase and immediately joined in alongside Taurus.

"Sai, we're coming!" she shouted in midst of the pursuit.

"Don't worry guys!" Sai replied, turning his head back to face them. "I got a plan!"

By the time Taurus and Cicada reached the edge of the forest, both became increasingly anxious as the boar became less and less visible in their line of sight.

"Damnit, where'd they go?!" Taurus cursed frantically.

"There!" Cicada replied, perched on a tree branch. "On the cliff overlooking the pond!"

The Akita and the Kishu instantly rushed over to the brink of the cliff, where Sai was mere inches from falling off. The small pup repeatedly dodged to the side with every boar's attempt to headbutt him off the ledge.

"That bastard, he's trying to shove Sai off the cliff!"

"Sai, watch out!" Cicada called out as she swiftly leaped forward, grabbed the scruff of Sai's neck in her jaws, and tumbled out of the reach of the boar. With the boss boar now distracted, Taurus took full advantage and roughly shoved his entire body up against him, causing him to stumble back far enough until his left hind leg had slipped off the edge. After another hard body slam, the brute force caused the pig to falter backwards even more until he completely stumbled off the cliff.

The boar let out another raspy shriek as he fell, but much to Taurus' displeasure, a second unwanted scream was heard. It had come from Cicada, just moments before the boar grabbed her by the hind leg and pulled her down into the water with him.

"SHIT!" Taurus hollered as he stood on the boundary of the ledge and stared down at the fading splash of water where both Cicada and the boss boar had disappeared under the surface.

"What do we do?" Sai cried out as he stood beside Taurus. "She'll drown!"

"Leave it to me!" Taurus said before he immediately propelled himself off the cliff and dove headfirst into the pond. Once submerged, the Akita began paddling his way deeper and deeper into the abyss. As Taurus struggled to keep holding his breath, his heart kept racing as the increasingly murky water gradually began to cloud his vision.

Fortunately, Taurus had finally caught a glimpse of blurry white in the depths of the dark water. He forced himself to paddle further down as the image of Cicada flailing and struggling to escape the boar's grasp cleared in front of him. Striving to hold his breath for a few more seconds, Taurus grabbed hold of Cicada's wrist and gave it a hard tug. After a strenuous effort, Cicada finally managed to kick her way out of the boar's grip, and Taurus instantaneously started his way back up the surface, holding onto the back of Cicada's neck tightly.

Still standing at the edge of the cliff, Sai was finally overcome by a wave of relief as both Taurus' and Cicada's heads popped up from the surface of the water, and watched as the former swam to the pond's shore and painstakingly dragged the latter out onto dry land.

"Cicada," Taurus whispered softly but desperately. "Come on, wake up! Please!"

Taurus repeatedly pressed his front paws onto his unconscious friend's chest in an effort to pump the water out of her lungs. After what seemed like forever, Cicada finally shot her eyes open and coughed a few times before regurgitating a spurt of water out from her mouth. Taurus backed away, giving her space before she finally regained full consciousness.

"Cicada, you're alright!" Taurus exclaimed, overjoyed.

"Taurus!" Cicada uttered ecstatically. "You're alright!"

Without any warning, Cicada jumped straight off her feet and threw her forelegs around Taurus' shoulders before offering him a gentle lick on his cheek. Taurus felt all the tension of what had just taken place prior completely disappear as his heart throbbed like it had never before. Unfortunately, the romantic moment was interrupted by the sound of loud sloshing right behind him.

Both Taurus and Cicada turned to face the pond, completely confused to see the boss boar trudging his way out of the water, visibly more infuriated and vengeful than ever.

"You can't be serious..." Taurus murmured under his breath. "How is he still alive?!"

The boss boar snorted and charged right towards the duo, and then stopped in his path as Sai suddenly appeared and clamped his jaws shut onto the boar's neck in an attempt to hinder him.

"Taurus..." Cicada said, panicked. "I lost my sword!"

"Don't worry about it," Taurus responded confidently. "We'll take it from here."

As Taurus joined Sai in the two-on-one combat against the boss boar, something shiny and reflective caught the corner of Cicada's eye. Wedged between two rocks at the bottom of the cliff was her sword. Realizing it appeared to have landed there after it slid out of her holster during her fall, Cicada dragged herself back to her feet and ran to retrieve her weapon.

Meanwhile, despite Taurus' and Sai's combined efforts, neither of them had any advantage against the oversized pig. Both had collapsed onto the soft gravel of the pond's shore, driven to their limits. Taurus could no longer find the strength to try stopping the boar from approaching the equally exhausted Sai, but suddenly a female voice suddenly cut through the fight.

"HEY! YOU!" the boar whipped its face around and caught sight of the white Kishu pup, lying at the base of the cliff. Frustrated, the boar changed its course of attack and made a move towards the completely vulnerable dog.

"Cicada!" Taurus and Sai simultaneously called out for their now endangered friend, too slow to realize the trick she had up her sleeve. The boar was just a few steps away from Cicada before she sharply lifted her head up and held the blade of her sword pin-point towards its chest.

The boss boar's deafening scream was heard by every single dog and pig in the forest, and all participants in the battle immediately paused the fighting.

"That was the boss!" one of the hogs announced. "It's coming from over there!"

At once, every single one of the boars fled the forest, not even minding the numerous Iga dogs that continued to follow them to the edge of the pond.

"Boss!" several of the boars clamored as their leader now lay dead before them, blood leaking from his stab wound and pooling onto the dirt below his chest. One of the boars up front opened his mouth to say something, but the unanimous growling of the approaching Iga dogs replaced his own words, leaving the pigs with the best option they had now.

"R-run!" the boars demanded as they dashed out of the woods with no hesitation, and the ninjas followed them until every last one of them was completely driven out of the Iga's territory.

"Get out, and stay out!" Shou demanded as the last of the boars disappeared off into the distance. "If any of you swines come poking your noses back into Iga property again, we'll eat you alive! In goddamn Koga fashion!"

A short silence broke out after Shou finished his threat, and Cicada's mother quickly arrived on the carnage.

"Cicada, are you alright?!" she interrogated her daughter with the same frenzied concern as before.

"Mom, it's okay!" Cicada hastily reassured. "I'm fine, really!"

Cicada's mother froze as she turned her focus to the corpse of the slain boar.

"Cicada... you finished off the boss?!"

Cicada gave a simple nod, and casually bent over to pull her weapon out from the boar's lifeless body. As Cicada's mother reflected on the situation in a complete daze, Sai approached one of the adults.

"Arashi-san, where's my auntie?" he questioned tentatively.

"Sai, your aunt's wounded," Arashi replied sternly. "Go down to the smaller pond and get the healing herbs at once. You can smell them out, can't you?"

Sai gave a confident grunt and nodded. "I'll go get them!"

Half an hour later, the healing herbs were successfully retrieved and brought back to the Iga Center to treat Wakame and several other wounded dogs.

"Cicada, were you really the one who killed the boss boar?" Wakame politely asked as several Iga dogs nursed her injuries.

"I was, but I didn't do it alone," Cicada replied before glancing over to Taurus and Sai with a gentle smile. "Sai was the one who lured him out of the forest, and Taurus was the one who shoved him into the water. All I did was finish the work that they started."

"Cicada, that's good news," Cicada's mother began. "But what you did was still extremely risky-"

"Kimi, please give your daughter some liberty for once," Wakame interrupted. "She's going to have to grow up into a shinobi soon. And frankly Cicada, it doesn't matter to me how you got the job done. All three of you showed stellar teamwork and cooperation out on the battlefield today, which is something that even adult Igas struggle to achieve. Kimi, don't you think it's time that Cicada finally get the appreciation she deserves?"

Kimi and Cicada stared into each other's eyes for a moment, the daughter's eyes void of emotion but the mother's eyes adorned with guilt.

"Cicada sweetie, listen..." Kimi began remorsefully. "I'm terribly sorry if what I said before made you feel less than you're worth. I never wanted to make you feel left out of the Iga, but all I wanted was for you to live a normal life without the stress that your father left in our lives. But today you proved to me that you're more resistant than I ever expected you to be. With the way you're able face your struggles like an adult, that proves more than enough to me that you truly are strong enough to be a shinobi."

Kimi braced herself for any words of rebuttal from her daughter, but instead stiffened in surprise as her daughter rushed up to nuzzle her warmly.

"Thank you, mom," Cicada whispered softly. "I'm just glad to have a supportive parent like you."

Another week had lapsed since the raid. Although Wakame was wounded, her impairment didn't stop her from being able to watch and coach Taurus during his training sessions. As little as he needed them now, the determined pup still voluntarily asked for more. At last, by the end of the week, Wakame was finally in the condition to start walking again, despite the grotesque scar now visible on her side.

However, enough time had also passed for Taurus to reluctantly decide that now was the time for another emotional departure. The responsibility he had set for himself had still yet to be completed, and time was now of the essence.

"So... Wakame-san?" Taurus asked apprehensively as Wakame approached him at the edge of the forest. "Do you really think I'm ready to move on now?"

"You've already passed the highest level any Iga could learn, Taurus," Wakame answered. "All that matters is how comfortable you feel about leaving now."

"Well, I feel as ready as I've ever been." Taurus took in a deep breath and stared off into the distance beyond the Iga territory.

"Good luck, Taurus," Cicada said as she and her mother walked over and stood by him. "I know you're gonna kick that Shilo's butt. If you were able to help me win my first fight, then there's no reason you can't too."

"Thank you, Cicada," Taurus acknowledged as he turned to face her. "As always."

He leaned his muzzle forward and playfully licked her on the face.

"There, now we're even," Taurus teased, and a shared laugh between him and Cicada followed.

"Honestly though,"Kimi nonchalantly changed the subject, "if Raiko didn't learn anything from what happened last week, then I don't know when he will."

"Don't ya'll worry," Shou reassured, surprisingly calmer than usual. "I put those three thugs under probation for a month."

"Sai, are you going to continue to train as a real Iga with your family?" Taurus bent down and asked Sai encouragingly.

"Of course! I'm gonna train hard and be a brave strong shinobi like everybody else!"

"Good job, buddy. I'm proud of ya." Taurus playfully rubbed his front paw on the top of the pup's head and traded with him one final brotherly gaze before he turned towards the entrance of the woods again.

"Remember the way to Ohu, Taurus," Wakame reminded. "It's north towards those mountains. And especially remember everything you've learned from us and your past experiences. You'll need them on your journey."

"Of course I will, Wakame-san," Taurus stated before he bowed his head respectfully, and finally set forth towards the sunset. "Bye everybody!"

All the Igas that were present offered their bittersweet farewells as they watched the child of Kato the Fighter run off into the next step of his quest, headed towards Ohu.

#my art #my writing #my ocs #ginga togyushi taurus

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coppoladelrey · 4 years

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No One Cares For Orphans - Part 1

A/N: I really hope you guys like this idea, let me know if I should do more parts.

Summary: You are an orphan, when you were in High School you met Bucky Barnes, the both of you started dating. But one day you take the blame for a crime that your boyfriend commit, how much is your life gonna change?

FEEDBACK!

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Angst, just overall sadness.

Tagging: @lostinthoughtsandfeelings

Main Masterlist

You didn't have a family, living in a orphanage your whole life in New York, but you were really intelligent which allowed you to attend a prestigious private school, that’s where you met Bucky and Steve, and you fell in love with Bucky since the first time you’ve ever seen him. But you weren’t the only one from the orphanage that was extremely intelligent, Josh he was two years older than you, but his problem was his addiction, his mother was a prostitute addicted to heroine, he barely made it out alive, doctors were more than impressed that not only he survived without any consequences, but he had such a high I.Q.

You remember the first time you saw Bucky like it was yesterday, he was laughing with his group of friends, Steve, Sam, Natasha and the twins Wanda and Pietro. You were walking with Josh, trying to get to know the school more, that’s when your eyes locked with Bucky’s and you got shy, averting your gaze, his deep blue eyes were too much for you. Josh was talking to you about something but you couldn’t concentrate, trying to get another glimpse of Bucky, without getting caught. That’s when Bucky came alone to talk to you and Josh, he had a smirk on his face, exuding confidence.

“Hi, you guys must be new. I’m James, but everyone calls me Bucky. And you are…?” Bucky extended his hand to shake your hand, but that wasn’t something that Josh wanted.

“Leaving.” Josh dragged you away from Bucky, he didn't want anyone hurting you, or taking advantage of you.

“Josh, he was just being nice.” You said after you were away from Bucky and his friends.

“I thought you were smarter than that, rich kids ain’t shit, little goblin.” Josh laughed when you slapped his arm, he was the big brother you’ve never had.

“I’m not a little goblin, you’re just freakishly tall.” That was true, Josh was too tall for his own good, you’ve never met anyone as tall as him.

“Whatever, just stay away from the rich kids. I will too, because if we don’t, they will chew us up and spit us out. Nobody cares about orphans, promise me.” And you did promise him that, and Josh promised you the same thing. But neither of you kept that promise, Josh was dealing drugs inside the school, and you started dating Bucky. And eventually you and Josh parted ways throughout High School.

*******************************************

You were so happy with Bucky, all your life you were looking for someone that loves you, that takes care of you, that respects you, that will work for your relationship, and you found all of that on Bucky. In your senior year, you and Bucky were trying to get into the same college, and he said that you wouldn’t have to worry about housing, because he wanted the two of you living together, you had so much planned, you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your life with Bucky.

But everything changed in a matter of a week, your whole world crumbled down right before your eyes. You found out that Josh died of an overdose, in a ditch somewhere. You felt guilty, because of Josh’s drug problem, you distanced yourself from him, instead of helping him, and now he was dead and there was nothing that you could do about it. And you also found out that you were pregnant, which was worse due to the fact that you and Bucky had sex a few times, and he was your first. Bucky gave you a car as soon as you turned sixteen, you said that it was too much, but he insisted, and having a car was a lifesaver to you.

You haven’t seen Bucky in three days, ever since you discovered your pregnancy. You knew that it was going to be complicated, but you and Bucky would make it work, having a baby wasn’t easy, but you craved for a family, and you knew that the man you loved more than anything in the world did as well, because he hated his family, because they didn't approve your relationship, you knew that Bucky would be happy.

It was three in the morning when you got a call from Bucky.

“Y/N, I think I killed someone.” That’s all what he said, you tracked his phone and went out to find him. He was in the middle of nowhere, and he was crying, you saw a man on the road, he didn't seem dead.

“Thank God that you’re here, doll.” He hugged you, tightly. You’ve never seen Bucky so distressed, he was usually so calm and aloof. “I’m gonna go to prison, gonna go on trial as an adult.” He kept mumbling whilst you were trying to help the older man, and that’s when you made the worst mistake of your life.

“Take your car and leave, I’ll handle this.” You were still seventeen, but Bucky was eighteen. He looked at you with a dumbfounded expression, but he kissed you and left. You put your car where Bucky’s were, and you called 911.

*********************************************

After the ambulance and the police came, you were taken to the police station, you didn't say anything, but you sent Bucky a message, saying that you needed him and that you were being held at the police station, he read the message, but did not replied. That’s when the tears came, you took the blame for the man you loved but he couldn’t even help you. You have been sleeping in the police station for three days since no one would bail you out, the only person that could help was dead, Josh.

You were in the small at the precinct and you saw a man, he had dark black hair and a wide grin on his face, his presence commanded respect. You saw him talking to the detective that was handling your case and he left for the interrogation room. The detective took you to him, you haven’t showered in two days, and sleeping wasn’t an option.

“Miss Y/L/N, I am Loki Odinson your lawyer.” You gave him a warm smile, Bucky didn't forget about you. You couldn’t be happier. “I will help you with your case, my firm does many cases pro bono and I take the time to help the causes that are close to my heart.” Pro bono? That meant…

“No one sent you here?” The smile fell off your face, Bucky did forget about you.

“No, but the good news is that you are a minor which means that your record might sponged. And you haven’t told them anything, which is good.” Loki was the best lawyer money could buy, and he was known for his ‘non traditional’ methods of defense, but no one could ever prove foul play.

“I’m used to bigger people bullying me, I’m not easily frightened, sir.” Loki pointed at the chair for you to sit down and you did, and you tried to prevent tears from falling. “How much time do I need to be in jail for?” You didn't want to give your baby for adoption, and at that moment you realised that you were truly alone in the world and that Josh was the only person to truly care about you. Loki laughed, as if you said the most ridiculous thing in the world.

“You won’t spend any time in jail, the man was missing for two weeks and the family is more than happy to have him back, they don’t want to press charges, he wasn’t badly injured. But the State does, and I’m more than capable of giving you community service, if that. Before we start, I must know everything about you, and do not leave any detail.” You took a deep breath, if that meant not giving your baby up to adoption, you’d do anything.

You told him every single little detail about your until to that point, uneventful life. Loki was paying close attention to you, and he seemed more than satisfied with your story.

“That is the reason why you asked me if no one sent me here?” You only nodded your head, how stupid you felt. “The Barnes family are ruthless, they wouldn’t allow themselves to be caught up in this mess, even if it was their son that created it.” That was the moment that your innocence died, only believing the best in people, that wasn’t you anymore. “I already know what you’re going to say to the police and at your hearing, and you will leave without any type of repercussion, and I intend on suing the NYPD for the way that they treated you.” You only nodded, and at that moment you’d do anything not to end up in jail.

“The baby that you’re carrying is from your former friend Josh, in the middle of the night he came to your bedroom and violated you.” You were going to protest, but Loki only raised a finger to stop you. “The reason why you hit the man was because you fainted while driving, due to the pregnancy. You’re going to say that you tried to report the rape but they didn't listen to you, a little bit of victim blaming a pregnant teenager, the judge will apologize to you on his knees.” Your case was the easiest thing that Loki ever dealt with, in week you’d have nothing to worry about besides your baby.

“Why do I need to smear Josh’s name like that? Why can’t I say that the baby is Bucky’s?” You didn't want to do that to the only person that ever cared about you, you parted ways at the end, but you never stopped loving Josh.

“The Barnes Family won’t allow their precious son to have a bastard child, and they will hunt you and your baby down. They are ruthless people, Y/N.” A lump on your throat formed, Bucky would allow his family to do that? But when you stopped to think about it, Bucky did everything that his family told him, the first time you went to his house, mother told him that she didn't want you there, so Bucky never took you to his house ever again. His family controlled him, and he did nothing about it, you doing this for him was his way of getting rid of you.

“I will do it, no one weeps for orphans.” You’d only hoped that no matter where Josh was, he would be able to forgive you. Calling Josh a rapist was probably the worst thing you ever did in your life, he was like a brother to you, and he would never hurt you.

You gave your statement to the police with Loki by your side, you even cried, the detectives assumed it was because your the sexual assault, but it was because you were accusing Josh of a crime he didn't commit, that he would never be capable of doing with anyone, since he was a baby conceived through rape. The police let you go and they give your things back to you, on your way out. You threw your cell phone away, and you left the building with Loki, you broke down, you had no one to turn to, you would eventually be kicked out of the orphanage because you would be eighteen in six months, and you had nowhere to go.

“What am I going to do now?” You said between sobs in Loki’s arms, you were desperate.

“I have something in mind for you.” Loki guided you towards his car, and drove off.

***********************************************

Loki entered a huge tower in New York, everything was so pristine and the building screamed wealth. Loki didn't say anything to you, he was simply guiding you to the elevator. He pressed the button for the penthouse, and the elevator started. When the doors were opened you could hear a man shouting, and someone aggressively typing on the keyboard.

“Stark.” Loki made his presence known, but the man didn't acknowledged him or you for that matter.

“I’m busy right now, Odinson.” The man shouted, but Loki only rolled his eyes.

“There is someone that I want you to meet, and I’d like to know if you can help her.” Tony stopped to look at you and Loki, and he got up from his chair, he was wearing glasses and he seemed to be in his early 30s.

“I’m Tony Stark, and if this horrible man says that I must help you, then I will.” You shook his hand, and he sat down again in his chair.

“Y/N, if you need anything just call me. I have to prepare for your case and many others, I’ll speak with you shortly.” Loki smiled at you, and you hugged him, murmuring ‘Thank you.’ “Take good care of her, Stark.” Tony only dismissed him with his hand and Loki left you there, but you trusted Loki, if he trusted this man, so did you.

“Do you need anything, Mr. Stark?” The least that you could do is make yourself useful, but Tony visibly winced.

“Never call me that again, it’s Tony we’re going to be roommates. What do you know about I.T?” You liked Tony already, he reminded you of Josh, carefree but also very intelligent.

“I wanted to go to college to study, I.T.” That seemed such a distant dream, your whole life was turned upside down, because you loved a rich and entitled brat, that wanted you to go to jail for a crime that you didn't commit, just to stop him from getting into trouble.

“Colleges are a waste of time and money, trust me I’ve been in three.” Tony got a bottle of water, and came closer to you. “Tell me more about your story.”

“Can I rest for a little bit? I haven’t been sleeping well for these few days.” Tony nodded.

“Of course, choose whichever room you want. But tomorrow you’ll tell me your story and then I’ll teach you everything that you need to know about I.T and we can get my company back.” To be honest, you weren’t that tired, but you were avoiding telling all the horrible memories of everything that you’ve been thought. You entered the first room you came across, you took a shower and put the same clothes that you had before, and then you cried.

Bucky probably never loved you, and he found a way to get rid of you and you were stupid enough to believe him. You were happy that Loki found you, you had no idea what to do if he didn't did those pro bono cases, probably jail and giving up your baby, but your baby would be loved, he didn't need his horrible father, he would have everything from you, you had a reason to keep fighting and make sure that your baby doesn’t become like his father. Josh was right, no one cares about orphans, especially James Buchanan Barnes.

#bucky barnes imagine #bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes angst #bucky x reader #bucky barnes x you #bucky x you #bucky angst #tony stark x reader #loki odinson #bucky barnes #marvel imagine

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saikostories · 3 years

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MHA - Dreamless Nightmare pt2

“No way,” Denki sputtered as he wheezed, choking on his own laughter while mindlessly hitting Kirishima on the back.

“Dude there’s- There’s no way!”

His pure hysterical joy was infectious and the rest of the class couldn’t help the slight chuckles and amused smiles that came with the sight before them.

“I- Don’t make fun of him, it’s a very manly thing to be scared of! Kinda?” Kirishima tried and failed to stay serious as he too fell victim to the explosive laughs that accidentally ended up covering Sero in a flurry of spit.

“This isn’t real! This can’t be-” Mina fell off the couch in a mess of breathless giggles that had Momo and Jirou needing to harden their resolve in attempting to suppress their own bottled up laughter.

Tsuyu was hiding her face in her hands, avoiding the scene in futile attempts to not laugh at a classmate.

Even Todoroki and Tokoyami, two of the most stone-faced students, were chuckling under their breath.

Bakugo was sitting in a backyard.

The grass was beautifully kept and the picket fence in the background was freshly painted a clean white that dazzled under the sun and, under any other circumstance, would’ve been blinding if not for the anger that drew everyone’s attention to the centre of the yard.

Kacchan sat in a chair that was five times too small, arms crossed with sheer rage making his eyes twitch as a sparkly blue cone-shaped party hat looked out of place on his head.

Toddlers sat scattered around him gathered about a present covered table, drooling as they laughed and babbled things none of them could hear.

There weren’t any adults in sight, and it almost looked as if Bakugo was in charge of the kids which made the ridiculous set-up even more hilarious.

Izuku hid a smile while Uraraka was turning red with the amount of effort she gave while trying to hold in her laughter.

Kacchan suddenly yelled something at the window that fell on deaf ears and one kid started crying sending the whole class into a wild frenzy of laughter.

At this point even All Might was laughing at the odd spectacle.

Holding up his hand to silence his students he pressed the button as everyone hopelessly tried stifling their amusement.

Instantly they were met with the incoherent sounds of children rambling and light hearted giggling, the one kid who started crying had stopped and was now using a crayon to colour on Bakugo’s shirt.

All Might cleared his throat as the class shushed the remaining few who were still laughing, “Young Bakugo?” His voice wavered and everyone could hear the undertones of struggle as their own teacher was giving it his all not to laugh, “Is there a problem?”

It was as if a timer went off and with a twitch of his eye Bakugo blew up, throwing the birthday hat on the ground with so much force that the thing dented as he stood up physically smoking with anger.

The poor kid who was innocently doodling on his shirt was knocked backwards with the sheer intensity of the sudden movement and sent to the ground a sprawling mess as Bakugo exploded.

“FUCK YEAH THERE’S A FUCKING PROBLEM!” He screamed, his entire face a fuming mass of pure anger.

“The damn machine is fucking broken! I’m not scared of this shit!”

“Who the hell would be scared of these snot nosed shitty brats!” Kacchan snarled as the kids, like a domino effect, all started wailing and sobbing at the top of their lungs.

“Shit! They’re so fucking loud!” He shouted while covering his ears in futile attempts to distance himself from the onslaught of children’s cries.

Izuku grinned, a distant feeling of nostalgia bloomed at the sight, “Kacchan never does change does he?” He unknowingly said out loud and Bakugo exploded yet again.

“What the hell did you say Deku!? I heard that you shit!” He screamed as his hands popped with loud mini explosions that seemed to terrify the kids more.

“You think this is funny don’t you! You all think this is funny!”

“Now Bakugo my boy,” All Might interrupted, knowing that if he didn’t cut them off then an obvious fight would break out, “The program hasn’t made any mistakes yet and I doubt it has this time.”

Kacchan clicked his tongue ready to argue why that was pure bullshit, but before he could All Might hastily continued, “Being scared of something doesn’t necessarily mean you’re terrified. Having a fear can also be something that you would never want to experience, and in this case the thing you don’t want to experience is dealing with toddlers.”

Bakugo seemed to accept All Might’s explanation like a punch in the face as he begrudgingly pulled up his miniature chair and sat back down.

The kids had settled down by now, most of them sniffling loudly while going back to the activities they were before his episode.

The only one who hadn’t was the kid from before, who sat on the grass sobbing quietly with a broken green crayon in his hands.

It was clear to everyone that Bakugo didn’t know what the hell to do. He looked like a fish out of water with the awkward way he sat and his gaze that shifted between each kid like they were some kind of foreign entity.

Izuku knew what would happen next, Kacchan wasn’t good with children, or anyone for that matter. He didn’t have the gentle personality or patience that was needed to handle them and when Kacchan didn’t know what to do he got defensive.

And well.. When he got defensive.

People get hurt, usually unintentionally but still.

He knew Kacchan wouldn’t hurt the kids outright but..

A frown formed on Midoriya’s face as his eyebrows furrowed. There was no way he’d be caring and comfort them, or even try playing with them, he was way too prideful for that.

That meant he’d have to do something to get them to like him?

Anything a normal child would do was immediately out of the question. Even talking wouldn’t work because Kacchan would just end up cursing the kids out and scaring them further.

Maybe entertaining them?

But his quirk wasn’t the safest, or the most child friendly.

It would’ve been helpful if he could attach his explosions onto things and make them blow up, but he could only cause current explosions.

Unless..

Suddenly Izuku had an idea, there wasn’t a one hundred percent guarantee that Kacchan could do it, but it was the best option he had!

Wait.

His face suddenly fell flat as he was struck in the head with a sudden reality.

The only problem was, Kacchan would never agree if it was him to suggest it..

Uraraka gave Deku a side glance, quietly watching the way his face would suddenly go from confused thought, to wide-eyed excitement as he realised something, then to stupefied frustration as whatever it was he realised came with some sort of catch.

“Hey Deku,” she whispered nudging him with her elbow breaking his concentration and causing him to look at her like a deer caught in headlights.

“Ah, sorry was I mumbling again?”

“No you’re fine, you realised something didn’t you?”

Izuku nodded, a concerned look in his eyes as he gave a half smile, “I think so, but Kacchan wouldn’t listen to me.”

He laughed awkwardly and scratched the back of his head as he suppressed the urge to suddenly yawn.

All this thinking was wearing him out.

“Then how about you ask someone who he would listen to?” Iida jumped in and Izuku felt a little bad at momentarily forgetting he was there.

In his defence, he was forgetting a lot of things today, like how simple and obvious Tenya’s idea was.

It was such a basic conclusion that Midoriya was a little ashamed he didn’t think of it sooner.

“Yeah! I think that’ll work!” He thanked Iida and quickly turned around to the Bakugo couch.

He quietly waved over Kirishima, trying to catch the redhead’s attention as Eijiro paused to gesture to where Kacchan furiously sat.

Their eyes met and Izuku gave him a pleasant smile, but Kirishima seemed to think he was just saying a hello and waved back before turning to Kaminari and continuing their conversation.

His hand was still mid-air and he cringed so hard that he suddenly didn’t feel tired anymore as he facepalmed while subconsciously wishing he could go back to the five seconds when he didn’t do something that awkward.

‘I don’t know how much more embarrassment I can take today,’ Izuku muttered to himself without much thought as he mentally tallied up all the awful moments that would haunt him for eternity.

“Hey Midoriya dude? You okay? You wanted to see me right?” Kirishima’s voice dragged him from of his little moment of internal death and he looked up confused.

Todoroki sat in the background giving a thumbs up with his expressionless face and Midoriya gave a silent thanks to his friend while internally promising to take him to eat soba once the lesson was over.

“Oh, yeah, okay I have an idea to help Kacchan,” He said, all embarrassment gone as he stood up ready to plan.

“So, he doesn’t really like me very much-”

“That’s an understatement.”

“Sero! You can’t just say that!”

“Well it’s not like it isn’t true.”

“-He doesn’t like me very much,” Izuku reiterated, ignoring the side conversation that started up.

“But he’s friends with you so he’ll at least consider what you have to say versus completely ignoring or doing the opposite of what I’d suggest.”

Kirishima nodded his head along, “Okay I get it, you want me to tell him what you want to, I’ll be like your carrying pigeon!”

Izuku shook his head before pausing to think and giving him a nod, “Well yes, but I was also wondering if you could give him tips about kids? I do have a plan, but maybe you’d be able to convince him so we won’t need it?”

It was a hopeless idea, but hey if anyone could get Kacchan to bottle up his pride it was Kirishima so it was worth a shot?

The mere idea of suggesting kid-like things to Bakugo was immediately shot down as Eijiro deadpanned, a look of dumb helpless confusion practically emitting from him, “I don’t know anything about kids?”

“Wait what do you mean? Don’t you have a bunch of siblings?” Izuku cocked his head, he could have sworn that Kirishima came from a big family?

“Well yeah, but I lived with them, I don’t know how to play with any random kid?”

“Okay okay, so just I guess,” Izuku felt like he was all scrambled up and at a loss, “Alright let’s just go with your carrying pigeon idea, I’ll write down what to say and you can just tell Kacchan?”

Kirishima pumped his fist in the air with a big grin showcasing his sharp teeth, “All right! Let’s help Bakubro!” He laughed jokingly as Kacchan simultaneously pushed a kid away so violently that the poor girl fell over like a tumbleweed.

Quickly Midoriya got Momo to make a sheet of paper and he scribbled so fast that you could practically see a thin line of smoke trailing off the pencil.

“Iida could you hold down the microphone?” He asked after finishing his plans, “I don’t want to accidentally slip up.”

Tenya jumped up with a happy smile at being asked to help again and bounded over, awaiting further instructions.

“Okay Kirishima?”

“Yup I’m ready!”

“I’ll hold the notebook up so you can see it, Iida thanks for your help, you can start now.”

The class watched, anticipating how quickly things would go sour. The same students who made bets on All Might’s fear started a new round with how long it would take him to figure out that it was Deku’s idea and not Kirishima’s.

Jirou personally thought he’d be too dense to ever realise.

All Might had a grin as he watched from the sidelines, he knew this wasn’t the most action packed exercise or even the most interesting lesson, but it made him proud to see his students overcoming these problems even if it wasn’t something like fighting a villian or saving the world.

“Ah-” Kirishima cleared his throat, catching Kacchan’s attention as his head snapped up, “Hey Bakugo, how’re you doing?” He said lamely and they could hear Kaminari choke as he tried not to laugh at how awful that intro was.

“Fucking fine, what does it look like!?” Kacchan glared at the window where he thought Kirishima was and Izuku mentally sighed again.

“Now what do you want I’m busy!?”

'Busy at not knowing what to do,’ Izuku thought thinking of the ten minutes spent watching Kacchan just sit awkwardly.

“Yeah sorry, okay look I’ve got a plan-”

Bakugo interrupted with a suspicious tilt of his head as one of his eyebrows raised in disbelief.

“You? You have a plan?” He asked with heavy sarcasm weighing down his words.

“Yeah I can come up with plans too you know!”

Kirishima huffed with so much authority that Bakugo actually looked as if he believed it, even some of their classmates had to remind themselves that Eijiro was only pretending.

Izuku couldn’t help the small smile from pulling up the corners of his mouth in excitement, this was actually going to work!

“Okay Shitty Hair let’s hear it.”

“Hey my hair’s not-!”

“I said let’s fucking hear it!”

“Okay okay, so you’ve gotta entertain the kids right?”

“I don’t fucking know you tell me!?”

Kirishima ignored him and continued, squinting at the jumbled up words that Midoriya was holding up.

“So how about you.. Er.. Blow stuff up for them?”

Izuku hastily shook his head at Eijiro’s attempt at paraphrasing and pointed at a crudely drawn diagram with wide eyes as he wordlessly mouthed something that Kirishima couldn’t exactly understand.

“Wait wait! No that’s not what I meant! Uhh- Okay, no you have to blow up, Wait? Dude is that a tree?”

Izuku sighed in defeat as the class broke their momentary vow of silence and laughed at Kirishima’s amazing acting.

“Hey dumbass?” Kacchan asked with a seriousness that chilled the entire room silencing the exchange of bets that went on in the back.

Kirishima looked as if he were a kid caught with his hand in a cookie jar as he nervously cleared his voice, “Yeah? Bakugo buddy?” He asked, his voice cracking slightly giving away the obvious guilt of lying.

“You wanna tell me your plan again?” Kacchan put all emphasis on, 'your,’ and any thought that maybe they’d get away with it was completely and utterly blown to bits.

“Uh yeah, it’s umm, well it’s actually for Deku to tell his plan!”

And with that Kirishima backed off as he gave an apologetic smile to the helpless Izuku whom he just threw into the lion’s den.

He admitted it wasn’t exactly the most manly thing to do so before he went back to his seat he gave a heavy sigh, “Look Bakugo, I know you don’t like him, but at least hear him out, it’s a good plan.”

“Put the fucking nerd on.”

Kirishima frowned and tried his best to say sorry as quietly as he could before walking back to the couch to watch this train wreck unfold.

“I can hear you Kacchan,” Izuku said, his voice unwavering.

“I want it known that I didn’t fucking ask for your help, I don’t need your help. I never have. Never will.”

Midoriya held back a sigh and took that as his willingness to listen.

“Okay look, you’ve got to entertain these kids but your quirk is way too loud for them- It’ll just end up scaring them and making your situation ten times worse.”

Kacchan grunted in agreement but remained quiet.

“But kids love explosions, like fireworks, they love the destruction and you can use that. Find something small like an acorn or stick, it doesn’t matter as long as you can make it disintegrate with your quirk.”

“Coat it in your palm’s nitroglycerin and flick the object in the air as hard as you can, you’ve got to be careful and make sure you send it flying with a lot of force so it won’t blow up in your face. The speed should delay the explosion just enough to have it explode in a distance that won’t scare the kids.”

Izuku finished quickly, he’d said everything so fast that it left him breathless and dizzy.

Everyone was silent for a moment, the only sounds were the chattering of the children as they ran around the table blissfully unaware of the discussion at hand.

The tension was unbearable and the entire atmosphere held it’s breath for what Bakugo was going to say next.

Seconds ticked by until Kacchan’s frown grew more defined and he let out an angry sigh.

“I’ll do it.”

“But not because you fucking suggested it, it’s because I don’t have anything better to do.” He growled as he stood up and stretched his legs.

Izuku had an unbelievably happy grin plastered to his face, Kacchan didn’t shut him down immediately, in fact he listened to him!

He felt a proud feeling take root in his chest, his standing with Kacchan had clearly improved. He’d never be close enough to be actual friends, but this was at least a step forward in that direction.

Both him and Iida returned to the floor as they watched Bakugo eye the sobbing kid’s broken crayon.

Within seconds Kacchan snatched it away making the kid cry even more with the aggressiveness of his action, but Bakugo paid him no attention.

Holding the crayon tightly he eyed the window with a glare and mouthed something they couldn’t hear. Though with the way his mouth moved it almost looked like he said his name..

'He’s probably threatening me again,’ Izuku thought as he watched Kacchan throw the pieces into the air. As soon as they left his hand the crayons suddenly exploded in miniature bursts that rained down green wax which caught the sun’s light and made it look like sparkles fell from the sky.

The kids all stopped and watched with wide eyed amazement as the sparkle shower dusted them and it looked like they cheered as Kacchan smirked and grabbed a handful of crayons, throwing them one by one into the air.

Red and orange pieces of wax exploded like golden rain and a great big grin pulled up the corners of his mouth as he stood in the glittering remnants.

The kid who’d fallen before raised his arms up at Kacchan as if asking to be picked up and Izuku fet his stomach sink.

Kacchan was definitely going to yell at the kid..

But to his surprise without a second though he was placed on his shoulders.

Again another crayon was thrown and the children all looked as if they were having the time of their life with how excitedly they jumped up and down, clapping as the purple wax coloured their already messy clothing.

The kid on Kacchan’s shoulders reached his tiny hands towards a flake of blue and as his fingers touched the wax snowflake the entire scene dissolved and Bakugo was left standing in the concrete room with confused shock.

All Might pressed down the microphone with a wistful look on his face as if he’d just seen something from a dream, “Great job Bakugo my boy! You conquered your fear in more ways than one! I’m very proud of you!”

Bakugo huffed but it was clear he enjoyed the praise as he silently walked through the door and back into the waiting room.

“One word about any of that and I’ll send you all to fucking Mars,” he threatened the whole class but there was no real heat to the threat as he took his seat back on the couch’s arm.

“Because it’s too difficult to choose, I’ll let Young Bakugo here decide who goes next!” All Might laughed as everyone eyed Kacchan with sudden piqued interest.

“Sero.”

“Wait what!? Why!? I don’t want to go next!” Sero complained as Kaminari and Kirishima both laughed at him.

“I heard you laughing,” Kacchan replied with an evil smirk.

“Yeah well everyone was!”

“I heard you laugh more.”

“That doesn’t make sense!”

“Tough shit, you’re going.”

Sero’s arguments fell on deaf ears as he begrudgingly got up, Kirishima gave him a comforting pat on the back as he smiled an evil toothy grin.

“Better you than me!” He laughed as a sudden menacing presence popped up beside him causing him to freeze.

“Actually, I was going to have a friendly chat with you next.” Bakugo cracked his knuckles as Eijiro paled, a look of joking terror flashing across his face.

Sero smirked while he made his way through the sea of classmates, laughing at Kirishima’s own nervous chuckling.

“Better you than me~”

***

Everything felt cold.

It was a chill that made him shiver into the freezing feeling, craving an escape from that heavy claustrophobic heat that made him feel so weak and tired.

His head felt fuzzy and feverish, and the strange cool was comforting even though it was such an intense sharpness against his heated skin.

It was like..

It was like he was chasing something he couldn’t see, something that he couldn’t grasp, he didn’t have a clue what it was except it was right in front of him.

Actually, he didn’t even know if it was in front of him at all!?

It was so dark he couldn’t see, but that feeling, that awful feeling of fear consumed him, chasing him, or was he chasing it?

He wasn’t sure..

Unknowingly he groaned, shifting into the cold as if it were the only thing keeping him alive.

The only thing keeping him sane as he relaxed into it.

“〱A? H?”

There was something there, something with him in the static fuzz that felt clearer than the rest.

“YI*ŒL-”

It felt as if he could reach out and just about.. If his arms were just an inch longer.

“..%-~*”

Almost.

’Please!’ He whispered out, begging the- Whoever it was, whatever it was, to just let him catch it. To let him see.

Some gut feeling told him that if he reached it- If he just got a little closer- Then-

“JW SB BA-#!”

Izuku jolted awake, gasping as a loud explosion echoed off the walls rattling his already aching head.

Whatever dream he had faded away nearly instantly and he was left with a gaping empty feeling as he blinked in confusion.

“Where?” He mumbled, sleep still heavy in his thoughts as the terror of being forced awake subsided to feeling like a distant memory, and he relaxed back into the cushions comfortably.

'Wait…’ He thought, a slow realisation dawning in his foggy head, 'Cushions?’

“You fell asleep halfway through Sero’s fight, we thought you would be more comfortable here.”

“Oh,” Izuku muttered again as if it was the simplest explaination ever. Closing his eyes he sighed into the cold feeling, resting his forehead against the icy fabric mindlessly grabbing at it to pull that comforting coldness closer.

“Thanks Tod'roki,” He slurred, rubbing his face along the cold, craving the relief it gave as the unbearable heat fell away a little bit more with the movement.

“You’re welcome.”

A second passed, Midoriya was silent as, like a distorted jigsaw puzzle that a kindergartener was trying to put together, everything started clicking.

His eyes suddenly flew open in an embarrassment that was so overwhelming that, 'Embarassment,’ was too light of a word, and without moving he looked around trying to get a grasp on what happened.

Most students were sitting or standing around chatting, across the room Kacchan and Kirishima were teamed up against Sero and Kaminari in an intense foosball match that probably was the reason he woke up with how enraged and into the game Kacchan was getting.

He couldn’t see the training room without turning his head, but he heard some of his classmates cheering on whoever was in there.

Everything was normal..

At least..

Until he looked over and saw he was hugging Todoroki’s arm as if he were some kind of expressionless stuffed teddy bear.

He already knew when he connected the dots moments ago.. But it was a million times more real when he saw his own fingers intertwined in Shoto’s uniform, his arm interlinking with his own as his head rested in the crook of Todoroki’s elbow comfortably.

It was as if the sudden scene caused him to shut down internally as steam practically flew out of his ears.

Izuku’s face flushed ten shades of red as he jumped up, jerking his arm away and holding both hands raised in a gesture of innocence as he leaned so far away that he lost his balance and fell backwards onto the empty side of the couch.

“I- I” He stuttered, biting his own tongue as he felt a heat so overwhelming the room spun together in shapes of warped colours.

Everything was moving so fast that he didn’t even have time to fully grasp his situation as he tried regaining control of his own voice.

“Sorry, I’m so sorry,” Midoriya finally managed to get out so quickly that it was practically incomprehensible.

Todoroki just stared at him, his usually unreadable expression broken by a small eyebrow raise that was mostly hidden behind his bangs.

“It’s fine, are you alright?” He asked equally as monotoned as his concerned gaze.

Izuku cleared his throat, suddenly painfully self-aware at how awkwardly stupid he was being. Shoto hadn’t moved a muscle as he flung himself away, acting as though he were the plague.

It just startled him, well, actually it was a huge shock to find himself all cuddled up to Todoroki.

“I’m uh, fine,” he gave an awkward laugh as he picked himself off from the couch, pausing for a minute as the room slowly stopped spinning, and sat back down. Though it wasn’t even a fraction of how close he was before.

“Sorry.. I didn’t mean to freak out,” Izuku scratched the back of his head awkwardly, his face still a flushed mess.

Shoto’s stare hadn’t wavered a second while Midoriya was settling down, which only unnerved him more.

“That’s alright, are you sure you’re fine?”

Izuku gave a quick nod, the heat in his cheeks burning into his forced smile.

“Yeah I’m good, but uh, would you mind telling me how I got here? I don’t remember anything after Sero opened that casket and found a mummy?” He laughed again, a bit more naturally now with the vague memory of Sero standing face to face with a wrapped up mummy.

Shoto turned away after a bit of a pause, it was as if he was searching Izuku’s face for something and Midoriya felt even more awkward.

'It’s like he can see right through me,’ he thought as he shifted a bit on the couch. The last thing he needed right now was for someone to find out about him being sick.

He generally didn’t know at first with the excitement of the morning, and any sluggishness he did feel, any uncomfortableness, he just thought it was sleep deprivation and ignored it.

But now his head suddenly pounded as if a hammer was hitting him repeatedly and he felt so flushed that he generally wanted to forgo his pride and cling back onto Todoroki’s arm again.

Finally Shoto let out a sigh, it was quiet but Izuku still heard him and it only fuelled that unsettling sickening feeling that Todoroki knew.

Turning away he looked towards the window, it looked like Jirou was doing the exercise, but he couldn’t exactly be sure?

“You started dozing off,” Todoroki started without warning and it startled Izuku from his thoughts as he unconsciously turned to look at Shoto despite himself.

“You couldn’t keep your head up, so when All Might said everyone didn’t have to watch so intensely we moved you to the couch, Bakugo left when Kirishima dragged him to play games over there.”

He made a gesture with his head towards the foosball table.

At the moment Kaminari and Sero were losing miserably as Kirishima effortlessly blocked an oncoming attack, sending the ball straight to Kaminari. Unfortunately Denki thought he was blocking it but actually turned the wrong players and knocked the ball directly into his own goal, earning him an evil all mighty grin from Kacchan and a exasperated look from Sero. He was just guessing, but it seemed like that hadn’t been the first time Denki did that.

“Wait? What do you mean, 'we?’ And hold on how long was I asleep? And how did I- well, I mean, how did I end up, you know? Using you as a- I guess.. A pillow?” Anxiety flooded his veins making him jittery as he rubbed at the back of his palms absentmindedly.

God this was so awkward.. At least Shoto had such a straightforward air about him that eased his embarrassment just a little. If Todoroki was just as awkward as he was- He almost shuttered at the thought.

“Iida was going to move you, but I offered to help since you were sweating. I didn’t have anything to do until my turn and you looked uncomfortable,” again Shoto looked at him with that knowing stare and Izuku had to look away out of guilt.

'He knows something, is it the dreams? Did I say something? Does he know I’m sick?’ Thoughts flitted across his mind so quickly that he almost didn’t hear Shoto with how intensely he was obsessing over it.

“You slept through everyone aside Jirou’s currently, and Kaminari’s-” Izuku blanked, a look of stunned shame crossing his face and he looked down at his hands mortified.

“I missed the whole training exercise,” he muttered, a heavy feeling pulling down on him as he felt completely miserable.

'This isn’t any different than missing class,’ Izuku thought bitterly as he felt a wetness glazing over his eyes. A flash of pathetic anger consumed him in a split-second and he rubbed at his stupid eyes roughly.

'Why am I like this!?’ He thought, that heart wrenching anger directed solely at himself as a gloom overtook him.

'Everything was going so well! I felt fine!’

'I hadn’t fallen asleep in class all week!’

'I don’t even remember crashing! Why did it have to be now?’

'So much-,’ the sudden memory of Kacchan’s door last night plagued him in that short moment of thinking and Izuku felt a million times worse, ’-for handling it better..’

'It would’ve been better if I just did-’

A coldness shocked him from his thoughts and he looked with wide eyes as Todoroki stared him down again, his hand brushing the hair from his forehead as if checking his temperature.

“Did your fever return?” He asked and Izuku froze.

“Fever? What fever? I don’t have a fever I feel fine!” He laughed as he begrudgingly pushed Shoto’s hand aside, the sharp cold felt so nice and he hated to give that up, but he had to ignore this.

If he didn’t, and All Might found out..

His heart clenched at the mental image of his disappointed face, that was one thing he could not handle.

Shoto just gave him that same look that made Izuku’s paranoia skyrocket.

“Okay.”

They were silent again which only made Midoriya die inside with the amount of awkwardness he felt.

Trying to avoid the situation he turned towards where Jirou was standing in front of what looked like a bowl.

It seemed she was standing outside a door at night, it looked like some run down house with the way the porch light flickered as moths flew around menacingly.

He couldn’t see too much since so many people were watching, but he did notice that she hadn’t moved since he last glanced over.

Uraraka was currently at the mic giving some advice that he hadn’t heard but a snippet of, something about it being okay? And he swore he heard her say candy but that couldn’t be right?

In an instant Jirou’s hand shot out as an ear piercing shriek blasted through the room followed by electronic cackling.

Ashido and Kaminari locked eyes and immediately burst out laughing, snickering as an unbelievably embarrassed Jirou stalked back into the room as the door whooshed open, her arms crossed as she glared daggers into everyone- Especially Denki.

“Was that?” Izuku questioned, trying to figure out what he just saw.

“Was that one of those Halloween bowls? The ones that scare you when you reach out to get the candy?” The only reason he even was able to figure that out was because of the lack lustre Halloween decorations strung out throughout the scene and the muffled music that played faintly in the background.

“Yeah.”

…

'Come on Shoto! You’re my best friend and all, but you’ve gotta give me more to work with than that!’ He thought hopelessly as they were plunged into another awkward pause of silence.

Izuku half wondered if Todoroki was maybe.. Pouting? Or at least was being quieter than usual because he didn’t admit to being sick? Or something? Maybe he actually did offend him when he pulled away so quickly!? He didn’t mean to! He was still only half awake and-

All the worrying he was doing only made him feel sick as he sat in silence.

“S-” He paused his face reddening again as he felt the whiplash of embarrassment from stuttering, “Sorry, I know you were just trying to help, I didn’t mean to jump like that.” He couldn’t meet Shoto’s eyes, knowing that his friend was looking at him so intensely that he could physically feel it.

“It’s fine. It didn’t bother me.”

A simple answer for a simple person.

“I- Well I just want to thank you, I’m not sick I-” Before he could come up with a good enough lie, Uraraka bounded over with such a happy smile that it shut down whatever he was going to say.

“Deku you’re up! That’s great! We were starting to get worried!” She beamed as Iida followed from behind with an equally happy atmosphere.

“Good afternoon! Did you have a good nap?”

Izuku smiled widely, “Yeah! I don’t know why I was so tired!” He laughed as he felt that same intense staring boring into him and he knew it was Shoto again.

“That’s alright! I sometimes feel like that too!” Uraraka laughed as she bounced onto the couch, her hair fluffing upwards as she sunk into the cushions happily.

Iida gave a stark nod as he sat in between Todoroki and himself, something which Izuku was secretly glad for, “I don’t usually feel that way in class, but I understand most students normally do,” he said with a shrug and Izuku smiled, more so from the relief of them interrupting his and Shoto’s conversation than anything else.

If he was left just a little while longer with him..

Midoriya felt a shiver run down his spine at the thought, knowing he would’ve had to admit to being sick, or at least, admit to whatever it was that Shoto knew about.

A small part of him was terrified that he knew about his nightmares.. But that was impossible, he wasn’t usually a sleep talker and even if he was it wasn’t like he’d say anything to make anyone worry?

Yeah! It couldn’t be that!

“Deku are you alright? You don’t look so good?”

Midoriya tensed up, a look of fear crossing his face for a split second as he regained his composure and smiled a wide, horribly noticeable, fake smile, “Yup! I’m fine just a bit tired is all, you know how naps are!” He laughed again and even though all three of his friends gave him a look, they chose not to press it.

“Anyways what did I miss? Sorry I slept through your training Uraraka, how’d it go?” He added, a guilty feeling lodging in the pit of his stomach as he watched Kaminari say something to Jirou that caused him to get punched in the arm.

“That’s fine! We were right, my fear was a ghost!” She grinned triumphantly as she huffed with pride, “I remembered what you said about them not being able to touch you so I just stood there with my eyes closed and it eventually went away all on its own! It was awesome!”

Izuku tried to match her enthusiasm but it was hard, despite his nap he was still painfully worn out. The only difference was that now he had a bit of a boost to keep him going.

“That’s great! So what happened after Sero?”

“Quite a lot actually,” Iida pushed up his glasses as he got ready to summarise practically the entire day, “Kirishima went after Sero, he was afraid of chickens, Aoyama had a bad hair day, Uraraka went next, you know how that went-”

“Then Tsuyu! She had a ghost too!” Uraraka interrupted, an excited sparkle in her eyes as she grinned, “Only her ghost looked way scarier than mine! It was all disfigured and gross looking, there wasn’t any blood though but it was still scary!”

Before she could continue, All Might called out from where he stood off to the side, “Kaminari will be going now, then Young Midoriya and we’ll be done for the day!”

An excited cheer resonated from the students as they grinned, some voicing out their elaborate excursions for the rest of the day, and some just wanting to go back to their rooms and do nothing.

“Wow, how long did the training take?” Izuku questioned as the chatter died down.

“Surprisingly not long at all!” Uraraka beamed again, a happy aura radiating from her, “Actually we haven’t even gone to lunch yet! Everyone was really quick, some people only took seconds like Todoroki! He had this creepy looking doll and without even thinking about it he hugged it, he was out faster than it took him to enter the room! You should’ve seen the look on his face it was terrifying! He must’ve been super motivated to get back here!”

The sickening feeling returned as sweat perspired on Izuku’s forehead from sheer nervousness, though his fever probably didn’t help.

He had this empty feeling rolling around in his stomach from the disappointment of knowing he missed all of this.

It felt like a generally fun training exercise, everyone was having so much fun and laughing, playing games, enjoying seeing and helping each other.

And he fell asleep.

'What if I take up too much time?’ The thought suddenly crossed his mind with the feeling of tainted milk as it was like he was dropped from a building.

'What if I’m the longest time out of everyones?’

'Everyone’s so excited to get done and have a free day..’

'I don’t even know my fear- How can I hope to fight it?’

With each thought his stomach dropped more and more making his skin itch with the sudden stress he felt with being last.

“This hasn’t happened before,” he thought with a frown as he took hold of his hand, gripping it so tightly that his knuckles turned white, 'I’ve never been this scared of a training exercise before? Why am I so scared, what am I even so scared of!?’ It was a pathetic thought that he hadn’t realised he’d voiced out loud with his unconscious muttering.

“Okay that’s it.” Uraraka put her hands over Izuku’s, causing him to jolt with the sudden warmth.

“Wha?” He paused, a shaking smile returning to his face as he suddenly returned to reality.

“Izuku you need to go to recovery girl!” She huffed loudly and pointed with a fierceness that left him speechless.

“You’ve been out of it all day! Actually no. You’ve been out of it all week! You look awful,” he winced but she continued without stopping, “You’re sick aren’t you? Your face is so flushed and you’re shaking! We’ve all noticed it but hoped you’d go on your own, or at least would tell us about it! And now you just mumbled about something never happening before!? Izuku Midoriya we are your friends, you can talk to us!” She poked him in the chest, trying to get it through his thick skull that he didn’t have to shoulder everything on his own.

Izuku’s mouth felt bone dry, his tongue too heavy to even refute as he looked between her, Iida, and Todoroki, each of them having a look that backed her up.

“Please,” she begged and Izuku had to look away with the amount of guilt he felt, “We’re worried about you. We’ve all felt horrible seeing you like this and knowing you’d just lie to us about being fine.”

“You’re our friend,” Shoto added, reiterating what Uraraka had said before with the slightest smile, but it was enough to make Izuku chuckle, his anxiety slowly disappearing as his breathing relaxed.

“I- well,” he paused as he felt a sudden surge of warmth. It wasn’t at all like the sickly heat he experienced earlier, it was calm and comforting, and it made him smile. “I think you’re right, I’ll go talk to All Might about it,” He felt a relief at the thought, it was strange, he was trying so hard to keep going and felt awful, but the minute he accepted he needed a break it was like the weight was lifted off his shoulders.

Uraraka breathed a sigh of relief, like a mother having just won a painful argument with her exhaustingly stubborn toddler, “Good, you could make up the exercise sometime else, you need sleep!” She added as Iida also nodded, “You can’t do everything, it’s good to take a step back every once and awhile.”

Uraraka aggressively agreed as Izuku stood up, a sudden rush of black clouded his vision and he shook his head with a smile as he stretched, working the sleep away from his arms.

Before he could even take a step forward a coldness gripped his arm preventing him from going anywhere as he looked back, Shoto’s eyes made him nervous as his friend stared at him with a seriousness that made the light cold on his wrist all the more chilling.

“Are you okay.”

His mouth moved, whispering the words so even though Iida and Uraraka, as close as they were, couldn’t hear.

Izuku’s blood ran ice cold, his eyes wide as he felt his heartbeat suddenly quicken with the realisation that Todoroki knew.

He didn’t know how, but he knew.

A second passed, Midoriya was in a cold-sweat of shock, not knowing how to respond. He couldn’t tell them, he couldn’t say he was having nightmares like some elementary school kid!

He was going to become a pro hero!

He couldn’t have nightmares!

Plus they were his friends, his precious friends, it wasn’t like they could help him with this when he couldn’t even remember a single nightmare. It would only make them feel worried and he didn’t want that.

“Thanks but I’m fine!” He grinned, putting his heart into the smile as Shoto released his grip on his arm, seemingly satisfied with the answer.

As Izuku turned away rubbing the spot where Todoroki held his arm as if he could see it, he heard Uraraka behind him.

“What was that all about?”

“Nothing.”

He breathed a sigh of relief, if Shoto knew (which Izuku was just about near positive he did) he wasn’t going to say anything.

The sound of electricity hummed through the air and Izuku’s focus was drawn to the training room. Everyone had grouped around the window with the growing excitement and cheers of the second to last student.

Kaminari was flailing around, electricity emitting all around him in a low buzz as his strange dance caused a flurry of laughter to emit from the spectators.

Somewhere along the line the students had placed a paperweight on the button so they wouldn’t have to keep holding it down.

“They did that during Tokoyami’s run, he was after Tsuyu,” Iida spoke up from the couch, Izuku hadn’t gotten but a couple of steps before he got distracted with Denki’s exercise.

“Oh, I guess I’ll sit and watch and then talk to All Might,” he said with an awkward laugh as he sat back down on the couch.

“Did everyone keep the speakers on?” He asked as he watched Kaminari fail to stomp on a very agile spider.

“Yeah, we found it was easier and most people were super curious! It’s so strange when you’re actually in there, if you don’t remember where you came in from it’s so easy to get disoriented!” Uraraka grinned before continuing, “So Tokoyami’s turn came and originally he wanted the speakers off, and his fear was trying to solve one of those puzzle cubes-”

“A Rubik cube?” He added and without missing a beat Uraraka responded.

“Yup! That’s the one! Anyways he had to solve that but of course he didn’t know how, so he actually needed help but couldn’t contact anyone and it took like twenty minutes before everyone noticed!” She laughed again and Izuku gave a grin at the thought.

“So how’d he solve it?”

“Well Momo knew the trick to it so she replicated her own to follow along, but it was so funny trying to get Tokoyami to find the window! He couldn’t remember where he came in from so we were all trying to direct him and it was like a giant game of Marco Polo!”

Midoriya couldn’t help but feel that twang in his heart from the regret of missing this. It sounded so fun, at the very least he got to see Iida and Kacchan so he couldn’t be too upset, but still.. He missed so much in the span of several hours that it couldn’t help but hurt.

“I’m actually quite surprised you didn’t wake up,” Iida added once Uraraka had finished her rant, “Bakugo had blown up several times, when you first fell asleep he went off and nearly started a fight with Todoroki, had All Might not stepped in and reminded them of the delicate control panels they probably would’ve destroyed the room.”

Shoto and Uraraka shot him a look that went right through Izuku as a flash of guilt flickered in his eyes.

“Oh well.. That’s just Kacchan!” He laughed but that didn’t disguise the disgusted feeling he had with himself.

“Wait Izu-” Uraraka was cut off when a physically smoking Kaminari pridefully burst through the door, a tired but exceedingly happy look on his face as he gave a thumbs up.

“I didn’t burn out this time!” He shouted and was nearly knocked over as Kirishima and Sero flung themselves on him, just as happy as he was that he didn’t fry himself silly.

Bakugo just scoffed and said something that was drowned out by the sea of cheers.

Izuku felt his anxiety flare up, feeling sick again as All Might quieted the excitement, “Great job Kaminari my boy! You’ve managed to regulate yourself without it leaving you incapacitated!”

“Now settle down!” He called, looking at Ashido who was picking on Denki again, “We have one more student and then all of you can take a day off!”

Before giving them time to cheer All Might gestured to a nerve wracked Midoriya, who went pale with all eyes on him. He felt more flustered than anything before when he was going to talk with his mentor.

Uraraka gave him a comforting look that screamed, 'Go on, tell him,’ as he shifted uncomfortably.

“Actually, um,” he started, a shy look crossing his face, “Would it be alright if I made up the exercise?” He wanted to avoid giving the details of why, hoping that maybe All Might would somehow allow him to get out of it without questioning his reasons, even though it sounded so unbelievably lame and his face flushed up in embarrassment.

When he looked up All Might’s eyes had softened tremendously and he was smiling a comforting smile.

“Yes that’s more than all right! I’m proud of you for knowing your limita-”

“What a fucking Hero you’re going to be!” A voice spoke up amongst the supportive eyes of his classmates that made Izuku visibly frown.

“Hey Bakugo lay off he’s worn out.”

“Fuck you Shitty Hair! We’re all fucking worn out! Why the hell does Deku over here get special treatment!? We’re the ones pulling through and he’s wimping out at the last second!”

“Bakugo!” All Might called trying to silence him but Kacchan was in such a heated rage he didn’t even care.

“It’s fucking pathetic! He slept through the whole thing like a damn baby, we were the ones who had to wait! And now he’s suddenly not going to do it anymore!?”

A slow thin frost had covered part of the room as the air dropped several degrees, “And? What’s so bad about that.” Shoto asked without even caring for an answer as someone somewhere whispered a, 'Not again,’ as Bakugo turned on the couch with a fury.

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SA-”

“STOP IT!”

Deku exploded, standing up from the couch, his fists balled tightly to his sides as a drop of sweat rolled down his face with each huff of breath he gave.

It silenced every single person in that room.

“Young Midoriya?” All Might questioned after he gave a bit of a hesitant cough.

Izuku no longer felt dizzy, he may have still felt overwhelmed by heat, but that didn’t matter as long as he could survive it. What did matter was that Kacchan was right and he knew it, he was wrong to be swayed, and he was wrong to think he was due a break.

Heroes don’t take breaks.

“Kacchan’s right,” he said with determination as his eyes steeled while still looking down, “Everyone’s tired, everyone’s exhausted, it’s wrong for me to ask to make up the exam-”

Protests erupted from his classmates but that didn’t stop him, even though the worried looks from his friends made him feel a pang of guilt he continued.

“I’m doing the exercise.” He said with such determination that All Might had to sigh as a sad look crossed his face.

“All right, but Midoriya,” Izuku looked up meeting his teacher’s gaze, “Don’t overdo it.”

With a silent nod he pushed past the crowd of classmates, feeling all of their stares on his back as he breathed in deeply, closing his eyes as he pushed his feeling of fear deep down.

'It’ll be alright. No one had anything bad, no one got any villains, no one got anything scary, it’s only been lighthearted! It’s suppose to be funny!’ He tried comforting himself but he didn’t find any real comfort in his thoughts.

“You got this Deku!” Uraraka called out, standing up on the couch to make herself even louder and a wave of encouragement followed him as he gave a quick look back, a smile on his face as he looked right at Kacchan, “Thank you,” he wholeheartedly grinned, his eyes sunken in from exhaustion, as he stepped into the blank room.

If it weren’t for Kacchan, he’d have let himself do something he would’ve regretted. Being the only one to not complete a training exercise just because he was tired? That wasn’t the makings of a good hero at all.

As the door shut behind him his classmates all looked through the window with worry.

“He’s going to be fine right?” Momo asked with a strange look on her face.

“Of course! This is Deku we’re talking about! He’s awesome!” Kaminari grinned as the whole room seemed to relax.

“Yeah- Yeah! You’re right he can do anything!

"His fear’s probably talking to a hot girl or something!” Mineta jumped with a huff and even though no one was a real fan for his jokes, it did lighten the mood tremendously.

“If it’s fucking Deku it’s going to be some lame shit like butterflies,” Bakugo suddenly spoke up with an evil half smirk as he stalked over to the other empty couch and flopped down taking over the whole seat.

“He’s scared of fucking everything, this’ll be a breeze,” he said as he shifted around making himself comfortable.

“You shouldn’t have said what you did though,” Tsuyu croaked, voicing what practically everyone was thinking.

Bakugo blinked, the whole class- Even All Might, expecting him to blow up or yell at Tsu, but he just turned around avoiding her.

“Fucking mind your own business,” he muttered before going silent.

“Man this atmosphere is heeAavy!” Ashido’s sudden voice wavered, singsonging the word as she snaked through the crowd of people, a maniacal grin on her face that made all but Jirou and Momo wary.

“Say Denki!” She called with a laugh and Kaminari looked at her as if she held a bomb in her hands.

“Wait Ashido I don’t think it’s a good idea to do this now?” Jirou muttered but Ashido payed her no mind.

“What are you up to you kitchen killing alien?” Denki questioned giving her a side eye as Mina fainted innocence.

“Hey now my cooking is great! I’m not scared of cooking whatsoever! The computer just got it sooo wrong!” She grinned as several people who were drawn to her spectacle rolled their eyes.

“Actually I wanted to show you something?~ As a thank you for, 'Cheering,’ me on during my turn!~” She hummed as Kaminari sweat dropped.

He knew she was planning something, even without Kirishima whispering in his ear about how she obviously had something up her sleeve, but he didn’t know what..

“Minnaa come onnn,” He elongated the words for as dramatic of an effect as he could muster, “I was joking!~ Joking! You’re an awesome Uh- Water boiler! Yeah! You boil the best water!”

Ashido waved a finger in his face making a, 'Nuh-uh,’ sound as her grin widened and she held out her hand, “Here! Take it!~”

With suspicious eyes Denki put his hands out, cupping them under Mina’s without thinking as his curiosity outweighed the thought he probably shouldn’t’ve done that.

“His name’s Fuzzy! He likes warm hugs and long walks on the beach!~”

It was then Kaminari connected the dots far too late as Ashido dropped an ugly, huge, evil looking brown tarantula into his hands.

His shriek wasn’t nearly as loud as the sound of his electricity uncontrollably sounding off, his friends around him flung themselves out of the way as a field of lightning threatened to electrocute them.

Flinging the spider as far as he could, he stumbled over his feet falling back on the one thing that they had all sworn they’d be careful around.

His hand connected with the panels in slow motion, no one had time to do anything as a metallic shrieking noise filled the entire room as Kaminari’s own electricity was being forcibly drawn from his body.

He screamed as the tech blared loud beeps and alarms that were drowned out in the horrific blends of noise that overwhelmed the room as the panels were being overloaded with power.

Students were blown away unable to say anything with the force of the electric pulses, and All Might could do nothing except shield nearby students as electrified pieces of shrapnel flew off the panels in randomised bursts of explosions.

In the haze of noise no one heard the small, 'Computer star-’ that was drowned out as the thunderous conglomerate of high pitched static exploded.

The lights hummed with power as one by one they shattered, raining glass down on everyone as they screamed.

Plunged into darkness the only thing they could see was the illumination of Denki being used as a living light bulb before suddenly with another loud popping noise even that light went out and Kaminari crumpled onto the floor with a loud thud.

The sudden silence left ringing in their ears as the tornado of noise came to a stop.

“Wha-” Uraraka coughed, the burnt smell of melted rubber and other unknown mechanical substances charred together filling the room with the hissing smoke that emitted from the panels.

“What happened?” Someone else finished her thought but in the pitch black dark no one could exactly tell who it was.

“It’s all right! Everyone, everything’s all right! I am here! Yaoyorozu, can you create something to light up the room for us?” All Might called out in the dark, startling students with his loud booming voice that seemed to come from nowhere.

After several minutes of shuffling silence a dim light illuminated Momo’s face as she held up a lantern.

“Is everyone okay?” She asked without knowing what answer she even expected, the lantern she managed to produce didn’t have much light to it. If she stretched out her hand and still held the lantern she would lose sight of it even though it was still so close.

“Hey Todoroki?” She called and received a quiet, 'Yes?’ From somewhere across the room.

“If I make some candles would you be able to light them?” She questioned knowing the lantern wouldn’t be bright enough to light the whole room even if she made a hundred.

A sudden quiet fwoosh of noise later and Shoto was faintly visible in the flickering orange light of his flame. He only ignited his finger, just barely enough so that he could be seen on the other side of the room.

“Yes I can do that, if you can throw the candles over to me I’ll start lighting them.”

“Okay great! Hold on guys I’ll have some lights made soon.”

“Alright, now just what the fuck was all that!?” Bakugo yelled immediately from where he’d been forcibly thrown off the couch in the confusion.

“Calm down everyone! Let’s let Miss Yaoyorozu create more light sources while we assess our situation!” All Might shouted with a clap, “First off I will call out each of your names and please give an indication of your situation!”

“Aoyama?”

“Beautifully present,” there was a muffled up cough before the voice sounded off again, “Oh and I’m doing just great, my hair got charred and I’m covered in dust but I’m just fine.”

He sounded annoyed but no one interrupted as All Might went through the roll call one by one, everyone miraculously without any severe injuries, until getting to the very last name that everyone was internally worried about.

“Kaminari?”

Silence, it was an awfully painful silence that scared All Might to his core as he cleared his throat and tried again.

“Denki Kaminari? Are you alright?”

Again there was no response and as much as All Might wanted to walk around and check on all the students personally, without much light there was the concern of stepping on students. With the shattered glass everywhere even if he did only lightly step on anyone, it could still do damage.

“Den- Denki?” A shaking voice questioned in the dark and it was clear by the guilt ridden worry that it was Ashido.

“Hey fucking sparky, you’re wasting our time say something you idiot.”

“Well he’s not gonna want to say anything with you yelling at him like that.”

“Shut up tape face or I’ll blow you fucking sky high!”

“That wasn’t me!”

“Wait shut up!” Jirou yelled silencing their banter as something in the dark shifted, and with it she heard another fainter noise that she only barely managed to pick up.

Several seconds passed and-

“Yee~”

The whole room breathed out a sigh of relief.

“Oh thank god I thought you finally kicked it,” Jirou muttered feeling the exhaustion of worry give way.

“Ah he’s fried again!” Kirishima chuckled as they received another half hearted, 'Yee,’ noise.

“Fucking shitty sparky ass if you were awake say something sooner!”

“Awe Baku you really do care~”

“Fucking hell! Who said that!? Sero was it you!?”

“NO! Why do you always think it’s me!?”

“All right! That’s enough!” All Might sounded off silencing the batter that sparked off, “It seems like everyone is here except Midoriya, we’ll have to try to contact him once we get everything in order. Yaoyorozu how many light sources have you managed to make?”

“I have a handful of stick candles right now, I’ll try to make more but for now it’ll have to work,” she said as she gather up her candles, “Todoroki I’m going to try throwing them at you, sorry if I hit you.”

“You won’t hit me.”

With a nod that no one could see, Momo threw the first candle, trying to be as gentle as she could while still getting it to the other side of the room.

A smacking sound of something hitting flesh echoed throughout the quiet room as the slight light coming from Todoroki jolted and went out.

“Um, Todoroki are you alright? That sounded like it hurt?” Uraraka asked, ignoring the fact that Bakugo was hysterically cackling away in his little dark corner.

“..Yes I’m alright.” His voice came after a heavy pause and even with lacking any emotion, everyone could hear the embarrassment.

Without wasting a second he lit the candle, the wick sparkling and sizzling as the flame came to life engulfing the darkness around Shoto in a brilliant light.

“Whoa I can see his whole body! You can even see the mark where he got hit wit- Oh wait that’s just his scar.” Someone somewhere said in amazement and despite the awkwardness everyone had to admit they were right.

The candle light was really bright, even for an ordinary candle it was still strange the way it glowed white instead of a yellow or orange like Todoroki’s flame.

“I used magnesium in the wicks when I made them, it takes a little longer but they’ll burn brighter and won’t blow out easily.”

“Actually it’s what trick candles are made of. It’s why you can’t blow them out and they relight themselves, because the magnesium is very flammable the embers from the wick burn an-”

“Did we fucking ask for the science lesson!? Just make the damn candles already, I don’t want that fucking half and half to be the only thing I can see!” Bakugo shouted in annoyance as several more candles were being transferred over and lit.

“So what happened?” Someone questioned after a pregnant pause, and that same, shaky pitchy voice suddenly spoke up.

“I’m,” the voice cracked, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for- I just wanted.. I don’t know I-”

“It’s quite alright Miss Ashido, you didn’t mean any harm,” All Might’s voice held a comforting tone to it, as though he were patting her on the back.

“Kaminari didn’t mean to set the panels off either, it was an accident that I’m responsible for.”

“I’m just glad that none of you are hurt!” He laughed, Ashido’s sniffling being drowned out by the loud noise.

“I hate to be that guy,” a quiet voice spoke up once he was done, “But I’m not sure how long I’ll be able to keep control of my quirk..”

“It’s alright Tokoyami, I’ll have the room lit, just hang on,” Momo already had half the room lightened up, but it was really draining her.

At least with the strength of the candles she didn’t have to make too many, but the pressure was intense.

Students were laying everywhere on the ground, it looked like a hurricane had swept through with the glittering of the glass and slight cuts that littered 1-A being suddenly brought to light.

Though no one had any serious injuries, they had a huge amount of small paper-cut like scrapes from the glass and it made them all look like they went through some kind of vengeful blender.

“Alright! Everyone can move again, be careful with the glass of course and try tending to yours, and others, cuts as much as possible! I’ll find out what exactly happened, but we might be here awhile since the building’s put us in lockdown!”

“Lockdown!? What!” Shouts of protest went around like wildfire as students groaned in frustration.

“Well there goes our party plans.. Hey All Might how long is lockdown anyways?”

All Might gave a thought as he started carefully making his way to the panels, the room being just fully light enough to see everything.

“Well, it could vary depending on the damage, it might be half an hour, or it could be four!” He laughed as the students all groaned again.

“What about Deku?” Uraraka asked worriedly as she picked herself off from the ground and dusted the shards of glass and dust off.

“What about him?” Bakugo scoffed, intercepting the question that was clearly meant for their teacher.

“The shitty nerd is fine! He has that entire room to himself while I’m stuck with you fucking extras! He’s living the dream! I bet he’s laughing his fucking face off right now tha-”

“Um Kacchan what’re you doing here?” The sudden voice came out of nowhere, crystal clear, cutting off Bakugo’s words like a knife.

***

Izuku’s brows furrowed, scrunching his features together and a strong sense of something lodged in the pit of his stomach as he shifted the weight between his feet nervously.

When he’d stepped into the room everything was fine- Normal even. Or at least as normal as he expected?

It was exactly as Uraraka had said, the room was so large and so disorienting with how blank it was that he actually felt lost amongst the space.

When he turned he couldn’t see into the room even though he knew there was a window there, and even the door was covered up by concrete wall.

He’d waited to start the training, not wanting to interrupt the conversations that flared up in the other room. Plus, a little piece of him was enjoying hearing the banter and jokes.

Then suddenly everything went wrong.

A thunderous distorted buzz filled every empty corner in a hissing vibration that was so loud it drowned out his voice as he had to cover his ears in pathetic attempts to block out the horrific noise.

The lights flickered above him before popping out one by one leaving him engulfed in darkness as the noise sounded a loud shrieking explosion before plunging him into a sudden silence that left a shrill ringing in his ears.

'What?’ He questioned in his thoughts, still rubbing at his ears as he waited for his hearing to return to him, 'What was that?’

'Did something happen to everyone? Are they alright?’

'Nobody’s said anything?’

It was true, after the- Whatever that was, there hadn’t been a word from anyone in the other room. All Might hadn’t explained anything, no background noise, no chatter or fighting, it was like he was cut off from the rest of his class and it was unsettling.

That’s when he turned around facing where he thought the window was.

His eyes adjusted to the dark slowly, his whole body stiffening as he came to the sudden realisation he wasn’t alone.

There was a darker outlined silhouette of a person causing a jolt of fear to flood his veins strictly from that feeling of being so sure he was alone.

Bakugo stood unmoving in front of him, his arms crossed as he stared Izuku down with the coldest gaze he’d ever seen.

The silence between them was unnerving and made that sickening feeling of wrongness all the more unbearable.

“Um Kacchan,”

Izuku cleared his throat, cringing at how his voice cracked making his frazzled nerves all the more obvious.

“What’re you doing here?”

Silence.

Not a word was uttered and Izuku’s confusion festered inside of him making his stomach churn.

One second passed.

Two.

An entire minute.

He might have been more comfortable if someone else was with him, but the fact that it was just Kacchan staring him down in the near pitch black room made him feel unbelievably nervous.

Where was everyone else?

What happened to the power?

Where was Uraraka? Iida? Todoroki? Anyone?

Where was All Mi-

“You need to just shut up you quirk-fucking-less Deku.”

Bakugo suddenly snarled with such hatful disgust that it made Izuku visibly wince despite himself.

“What? Kacchan? I don’t?-”

“I said FUCKING SHUT UP!”

He felt the bile rise to his throat and his heartbeat quicken.

The shock from the sudden ear splitting yell echoed around the room vibrating his chest like he’d been at the front row of a concert and Izuku couldn’t help but begin to feel a sinking feeling.

“Wait, I don’t understand, Kacchan what’s going on?”

“Don’t call me that.”

“What?”

“You don’t have the fucking right to call me that you worthless Deku.”

The Bakugo in front of him spat his nickname as though it were more bitter than poison as he took steps towards Izuku, sizing him up with a gaze that- Had Midoriya not known who Bakugo was, he would have described as completely villainous.

Each step Kacchan took closer to him, Izuku matched by stepping backwards until he could no longer run away from the glowing spite that bore down on him.

“It’s your fucking fault.”

It was a gravely whisper that only made him more confused as Kacchan grabbed him by his shirt and pressed him hard against the concrete wall.

“What ar-”

“WHY DON’T YOU EVER JUST SHUT UP!” Bakugo exploded with sudden uncontrollable power and shoved Deku into the wall, his head banging against the concrete causing tears to well in his shaky eyes.

“IT’S YOUR FUCKING FAULT HE’S DEAD!”

Despite the situation a fear other than that of the feral Kacchan slapped him in the face.

“Whose dead?” He questioned but Izuku’s only response was his own voice bouncing off the walls making his anxiety grow ten fold.

“What happened? Kacchan talk to me!”

“Please, I won’t know if you don’t tell me!”

Again, there wasn’t a sound from Kacchan. His fingers which clutched the wrinkled uniform pressed down on his skin with such a harshness that Izuku knew bruises were forming with each elongated second.

But what unnerved him the most was how deathly cold Kacchan’s hands were, he could feel the chill seeping it’s way past the fabric making the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end.

“I know we aren’t friends,” His voice was quiet but held a sharpness to it that gave him the strength to finally meet Bakugo’s resenting glare, “I know we’re nothing close, to you we aren’t even classmates. I’m just another extra, I know that, but that doesn’t mean I think of you the same way.”

“I don’t know what’s going on, or why you’re acting like this, but just talk to me! I can help!”

Izuku put his own feverish hands on Bakugo’s, suppressing the urge to wince as the icy touch spread through his body, and for a second, for a split second, he thought he’d gotten through to him.

Kacchan’s expression had relaxed, he felt warmer in more ways than one, and Midoriya gave a smile as if trying to show that everything was okay despite his cluelessness.

The next thing Izuku knew he was seeing blurs as the room flew by and he collided with the floor, bouncing and rolling several feet before finally stopping.

The wind was completely ripped from his lungs and he lay gasping for breath, his gaze was hazy but he still managed to see Kacchan standing above him with a look of disgust.

“You’re a fucking disgrace. Don’t you dare think you can just act like nothing happened.”

“ 'I can help!’ ” He mocked, his eyes radiating a sadistic venom as he made a wild hand gesture.

“That’s just like you. Typical fucking Deku. You never know when to just fucking stop.”

“You’ve helped enough.”

If Izuku was going to say anything he didn’t have the chance before Kacchan kicked him hard square in the leg and he had to hold back the urge to keep from crying out.

“All Might’s dead because of you.”

Despite every fibre of his being that screamed this was wrong, that something just wasn’t adding up, that everything was moving way too quick, that one sentence alone made his face pale and his heart stop.

“What- ” His head was racing a hundred miles a minute as he tried processing that single sentence.

“What do you mean? Kacchan what do you mean All Might’s dead!”

“What.-” He stressed helplessly tugging on Kacchan’s pants leg in some desperate plea to make him explain. “-Happened!”

Kacchan looked down on him and with a disgusted scoff he kicked Izuku away, not nearly as hard as his first kick to his leg, but rough enough so that Izuku was sent sprawling again.

“It’s exactly fucking that. He’s dead. You took his quirk.”

Midoriya took on a ghostly look, his attempt at pulling himself up was thwarted by guilt that froze him in his tracks. He didn’t know if Kacchan meant what he thought he did but-..

There was no way he could know?

Kacchan didn’t bat an eye at Izuku as he crouched down to meet the teary faced statue in front of him.

“While you were halled up here fucking sitting on your ass, a fucking villain got in and cut the power.”

“He couldn’t do a damn thing because of you!”

Izuku- He couldn’t believe it.

It shouldn’t be possible, it had to be fake, it had to be a lie.

But it all felt so real that he had to fight back the nauseating acidic feeling that steadily rose up his throat.

He couldn’t.

He just couldn’t believe it.

But this was Kacchan, he wouldn’t lie about something like this!

Kacchan loved All Might just as much as he did!

So it had to be true but it just couldn’t!

“You’re-” His voice quivered and he hadn’t realised he was crying until he felt the tears fall off his chin as he looked up at a face that stared back with murder.

“You’re wrong! All Might wouldn’t just die! He can’t!” Izuku screamed back, his voice breaking as that sickening nausea rose in his scream and he banged his fist down on the floor as if punching Kacchan’s words.

He didn’t even wince as one of his fingers snapped, bending upwards at an eerily unnatural angle.

“I don’t know what happened but he’s not dead!” Shakily he rose to his feet, his body audibly cracking with the effort.

“He-”

“Then go see him for yourself.”

This voice wasn’t the same. It wasn’t as angry or hateful, it was familiar but held a coldness to it that Izuku hadn’t ever heard before and he looked up with wide eyes.

Iida was standing there, behind Kacchan. His face might’ve been masked by his glasses but Midoriya could still feel a revulsion stronger than disgust radiating from his friend.

“Iida? What are- what’s going on? What happened to All Might? This isn’t true? Right!?”

Izuku hadn’t realised he’d gotten up in his shock, but he took a slow inching step forward, ignoring the glares from Kacchan and reached out for Iida only to see his friend back away.

“You should know. You killed him after all.”

Izuku clutched at his heart as if gripping the distorted fabric of his shirt would keep his chest from feeling like it was about to collapse in on itself.

Seeing Iida look at him like that, hearing how distant he sounded, it hurt.

“I stuck around you in case I needed to do the right thing, I knew you were trouble since day one.”

Izuku wanted to interrupt him.

He wanted to shake Iida and beg him to stop acting so cold, to call his name with that happy sparkle he had and joke around like they normally did, but he stood in frozen disbelief unable to muster any kind of voice.

“The minute I saw you during the entrance exams I knew you weren’t a hero. Someone like you, with your quirk, you were bound to get someone killed.”

“And you did.”

“I should’ve killed you when I had the chance, maybe then-” Iida’s hands were clenched into tight fists as he spoke, “Maybe then All Might would still be alive. His power would’ve returned. Instead of being stuck with someone like you.”

“I thought,” Deku’s voice was too quiet, it quivered with the sharp pounding of his quickening heartbeat, “I thought we were friends? Iida this..”

His head was spinning and he felt lost in his own words.

“This isn’t like you! What happened!”

“I get that you blame me but we can figure out what’s going on! This isn’t normal this- If our friendship meant anything at all, then please, just talk to me!”

He locked eyes with him and felt a déjà-vu surge of hope, maybe, just maybe Tenya was just taking out his grief on him like Kacchan? Maybe he’d come to his senses and realise what he was saying!?

If anyone could be reasoned with it was him.

The pain Izuku felt on his cheek didn’t even compare to the stabbing realisation that turned his entire body ridged. Iida- No his friend, his best friend, slapped him so hard that it left a red mark on his tear streaked face.

“Did you really think I’d be friends with someone as worthless as you.” Iida stated in such a calm and collective manner that it was devastating.

He couldn’t stop the chocking sob that broke through his resolve. He couldn’t stop the small quaking tremors that racketed his body.

Why!

Why did it hurt so much..

He’d had his dreams snatched away from him, he’d been bullied and beaten, he’d broken his bones countless of times, but not one of those moments hurt as badly as this did now. Nothing compared to this god awful sinking that pressed his insides down, enveloping his entire body in a throb that just.. Wouldn’t go away.

“Izuku? Are you okay?”

He looked up to see Uraraka staring at him with a gentleness that felt like an ice cold bath on a drunken night. It was like something cleared and it made him want to hug her and never let her go.

Bakugo and Iida might hate him, but she never would.

That just wasn’t who she was.

He felt a calmness settle his nerves and he shook his head trying to clear his thoughts.

Izuku smiled as he wiped his eyes, “Thanks Uraraka, sorry I- ” He paused as he closed his eyes taking a deep breath before continuing, “I don’t know what happened, I know they don’t mean it, Kacchan is Kacchan but Iida.. I didn’t think he’d.. You guys are my first friends you know? And, I don’t even know what happened?”

His entire being radiated a sad happiness that made his smile seem almost heartbreaking.

Uraraka was like a rock to him, she was the first person to ever help him, the only person who ever reached out a hand to someone like him, the only normality out of this whole messed up misunderstanding.

Again, that hope, that cruel and stupid hope that kept popping up even though these stupid, stupid situations kept repeating, made him feel calm.

The small fleeting moment of peace he had, that feeling of, 'I’m going to be okay,’ it plummeted quicker than it appeared when, to his horror, he saw Uraraka’s pleasantness contort into a sadistic grimace.

“You’re kidding right? You really believed that? Why would I care if you were okay after what you’d done?”

His smile was wiped from his face and the deception left him with a hollow feeling he’d never experienced before.

“I don’t understand- Why? What’s going on?” Izuku’s voice was so small as he watched in a transe like horror as Uraraka spun around the room as if she were dancing.

“Why!? Because you were stronger than me! Did you really think anyone would be friends with you for any other reason? Grow up Deku!”

The stress in his nickname made Izuku wince and he had another moment of déjà-vu.

This felt almost like middle school.

This felt like when Kacchan bullied him, except so much worse that it made him want to shut his eyes and never open them.

But, he wasn’t powerless anymore like he was back then. He could fight back. He could..

The mere idea of raising a fist to either Iida or Uraraka felt so utterly wrong. Just thinking of the possibility made him experience another wave of nausea and he hated himself for even realising he could fight them.

That idea was far more sickening than hearing anything they could ever say to him.

A loud snap startled him out of his thoughts and Uraraka grinned in his face, she was so close that if he leaned forward their noses would be touching.

“Deku~ 'You can do anything!’ Did you really honestly believe that crap? Jeez I must be a better actor than I thought!”

The Uraraka before him leaned back and laughed a laugh that pierced his already sunken heart, but it was such a hollowed out feeling.

Even though it hurt so bad, his eyes were dry with the overwhelming disbelief of it all.

“Shitty Deku, you can’t do anything other than getting in the way. You couldn’t even save me.”

Bakugo’s sudden voice made Izuku’s head snap towards the sound and he stood staring as a match like fire of anger burned the bitterness on his tongue like fuel.

How could Kacchan say something like that? He knew better than anyone that he risked everything to save him!

“What? Expecting a thanks for your, 'Rescue Mission,’ if you were fucking quicker I wouldn’t have needed to be rescued in the first fucking place! If you weren’t going to take being a hero seriously then why’d you even enter U.A!?”

And just with one sentence, with one god awful look from Kacchan, that confidence he had was snuffed out.

His determined expression fell flat.

That..

That was true..

The sudden surge of conviction he had dissolved as he realised that Kacchan was right.

If he had only been quicker, if he only reached him sooner. He might’ve..

“You’re a monster, a demon. Monsters can’t be heroes.”

“I’m not- ” A sudden sob caught in his throat that surprised him but he forced it down, “I’m not a monster!”

His fists were held tightly to his sides, his head looking down at the concrete floor as if wishing he’d turn invisible.

Maybe if he wasn’t so tired, maybe he’d have been able to handle what they were saying better? Maybe he wouldn’t have reacted with such weakness?

Maybe he’d have realised that something wasn’t right.

That the burning he felt engulfing him wasn’t normal.

That people kept showing up from nowhere.

That-

Everyone seemed to know what he was thinking.

“You are.”

This voice was new and Izuku looked up to find Todoroki staring back at him with a seemingly expressionless face, but his eyes burned with a quiet rage that made both of them seem almost red.

At that moment he felt his heart sink even further to the point he felt his knees almost buckle.

Not-

Not him.

Todoroki was like a brother, they’d helped each other out so much.. He cared for him so much..

“Your strength is evil. It hurts everything and everyone around it. It shouldn’t exist.”

It felt useless to deny it but still Midoriya had to. He.. He knew his power was dangerous, but that didn’t make it evil! That didn’t make him evil!

All Might went through the same thing!

“That’s not true! I just need to train more! I’m going to become a hero!”

“And how many people have to get hurt, how many people have to die until you make it?”

Izuku whirled his head around so quick it nearly gave him whiplash as he stared at Kirishima with another pang to his chest.

He shouldn’t have been surprised! But he couldn’t help the disappointment from eating away at him.

“You’re so selfish!”

Again he turned his head back to see Mineta looking up at him with an accusatory gaze of hatred.

“Mineta? But you tried cheering me up earlier? You’re my friend!”

He knew it was pointless but.. Still..

Mineta looked offended as he huffed in annoyance and crossed his arms angrily.

“Yeah right! I only did that because you’re so annoying when you’re sad! You sit right in front of me! I don’t want to see that!”

Izuku couldn’t handle what was happening anymore.

Every word that came out of his friends mouths hurt, every time they looked at him, every glare, every scoff, stung his chest and rattled him despite it all.

“You should’ve taken my advice.”

Bakugou had stayed quiet, but now he spoke up with an uncharacteristic coldness that confused Izuku as he looked from the scuffed up concrete and locked eyes with him.

“Kacchan what-”

“You should’ve taken a nose dive when you had the chance.”

An eerie calmness overtook him as tears suddenly started falling noiselessly down his face and dripping onto the concrete like ghostly shines in the darkened light.

“I don’t care what you all say,” his hands were clenched to the point his knuckles turned white, his broke finger the only one not balled up.

“You’re my friends!” His shout met with empty air as his entire class had surrounded him. Each person looking at him with mixtures of disgust and rage.

There wasn’t a single friendly face in his 1-A class. Not one.

“Do you know what All Might said before he died?”

It was Kaminari that spoke up and Izuku couldn’t help that bitter feeling of betrayal from creeping in. He helped Kaminari study often, they laughed together, played games together, he stayed up late helping him.

But here he was.

Looking at him just like all the others.

“He said his biggest regret was meeting you. You were his greatest failure.”

The world stopped.

Izuku felt like he was falling.

Maybe he was? He wasn’t aware anymore.

His tears stopped from the sheer weight of knowing that they were right.

It shouldn’t have bothered him.. It wasn’t like All Might said it to his face, he had no reason to believe them except-

They were his friends, and he knew they weren’t lying.

“Someone like you doesn’t deserve to live.”

In the haze of his shock Izuku didn’t hear Tokoyami, he didn’t even register what other cruel things were thrown at him.

He didn’t even feel the first punch until it landed with his jaw and sent him flying backwards, Kirishima’s smug face happily proud of himself as his sharp teeth grinned a happy smile.

Despite everything he heard, everything he saw, Deku didn’t want to give up.

The laughter, the games, late nights in the dorm, study sessions, parties, these were his friends. They were his precious family.

He rubbed his cheek, groaning as he rose to his feet dizzily, “You’re all my friends, I don’t want to fight you.”

His stubborn conviction settling his resolve as he felt clear headed again, no matter what happened they would always be his family, even if he was never anything to them.

Gingerly Izuku rubbed away a smudge of blood from his split lip and his eyes shone with an empowering confidence.

“I won’t fight you.”

A piercing scream tore its way from his lips as his arm felt an intense burning sensation that brought him to his knees from the sheer pain of it as ringing bounced through his skull.

“I’m not your fucking friend.”

Izuku’s mouth frothed with a mixture of blood and spit from where he bit his lip and he clutched the useless arm that hung loosely by his side desperately as he regained composure and stood once more.

This was different than spar fighting, this was different than all those exam fights because this time there wasn’t a purpose. This wasn’t to get better, this was real.

There was a real intent to hurt, to kill, emitting from each one of them.

“Please-” he spat his voice begging, pleading them to hear him, “Please if our friendship meant anything, even if this is all true and you all hate me, if there was ever a time when we really did laugh together, even for a second, then please don’t do this. I’ll- I don’t know what I’ll do, I’ll drop out. I’ll give up on being a hero, just please don’t do this!”

“You won’t become heroes if you do! The school will expel you!”

His voice shook with the sudden power in which he shouted. There was never a single moment, standing there with one arm useless, that he thought he should fight them.

He could never turn One For All on his friends, even if they tried killing him.

The thought of Kacchan never being the hero long ago they once dreamed he’d be, of Kirishima not being able to follow the footsteps of his idle, of Iida not living up to his legacy, of Uraraka not making her parents proud like she hoped- Even though they already were proud.

Those thoughts were strangely worse than the pain he felt.

“And here he goes with that stupid self sacrificing attitude, Jeez! It’s pathetic!” Uraraka sent a chip of what looked like the floor hurtling towards him and he managed to dodge, but the sudden effort made him trip over his own feet and he fell to the floor with a thud.

He cried out as his damaged arm met the ground harshly and a sudden soft chill grazed the right side of his face causing him to look up in hazy confusion, “Todor-”

Izuku screamed, a guttural pained scream that bounced off the walls of the room filling it with the sound of his agony.

He clawed at where Todoroki burnt his face, trying to put out the flames that burned into his skin.

A handprint, Shoto’s handprint, was seared into his flesh like a brand.

“Wasn’t it you who said I should use this?”

Izuku felt like he couldn’t cry anymore, but still several tears stung his face.

He couldn’t open his right eye, but he stared up at Todoroki with betrayal and.. And something else..

“There we go! Hey guys I think he’s finally getting it!”

He screamed again, his entire body contorting as electricity shot up and down his spine, his back arching uncontrollably.

A punch collided with his stomach knocking him a few feet over, he couldn’t see who it was but it didn’t matter. Izuku was left gasping, spitting blood onto the floor as he rolled over, unable to move.

“I won’t- I won’t fight you guys, I don’t want to hurt you.”

He winced before the pole collided with his damaged leg, knowing the blow was coming before even seeing it.

There was an audible crack that sent him into a flurry of tortured screams.

The onslaught of attacks stopped and Izuku opened his eyes hoping that maybe everyone finally came to their senses..

Or at least were done.

Instead of his class he saw someone else hovering above him like an angel.

It was a sight that made his chest tighten with longing as he stared as if seeing a ghost.

“Mo-” He gasped wordlessly as a coughing fit made his lungs fill with a burning itch that sent him sputtering. It took him several minutes before he was able to breathe again, blood traced his lips and he heaved a big gasp of air before looking at his mother with greedy hopeful eyes.

“Mom?” He croaked, finally able to get her name out as he looked up with a childish desperation.

He watched her kneel down besides him, gently she brushed the hair away from his wounded eye and a heaving sob made his entire body tremble as he shook.

He couldn’t get up, he couldn’t move his arms, he had no strength to stand, and the fact he wasn’t able to do something as simple as hugging his own mom hurt him as he lay pathetically on the ground struggling to breathe with how hard he was crying.

“Mom I-” Izuku looked at her unable to get a sentence out with how badly he was trembling.

He didn’t care about how unreal it was, or how the same thing happened with his classmates, and how quickly that happy feeling had been ripped away again and again each time someone showed up.

He just wanted his mom.

“Oh Izuku,” the pity that filled her voice only made him feel worse inside. That wasn’t what he wanted her to say. He didn’t want her to feel sorry for him, he wanted her to hug him, he wanted to feel his mom’s warmth and know that everything- Every god awful thing that happened today was just a sick dream.

His face melted into his mother’s hands as she cradled his cheek and he shut his eyes, he didn’t care that her hand felt so cold, he was exhausted from his own outburst. His body ached, he hurt so badly, and not just physically.

He wanted a hug so desperately, he wanted to just go home already..

“You realise it don’t you?” Her voice was gentle and soft like a butterfly’s wings and despite the confusing context, Izuku found himself taking comfort in her quiet voice.

He opened his eye, looking up at her with a questioning stare that said more than his voice could.

“That none-”

The pounding in his heart picked up again and he gasped as her icy nails sunk into his face, clawing at his skin until red welts dotted his cheek.

“None of this-”

His eyes widened in sheer terror, unlike any that he’d ever experienced, as he begged his mom to let go in the way his tears mixed with the blood that started to bleed in ugly splotches down his face.

“Would have happened if it weren’t for you!” She screamed at him, a voice he never heard before, it was horrific, it was worse than any curse or cruel thing Bakugo- or any of his friends said.

“MY HUSBAND’S GONE BECAUSE OF YOU!”

There wasn’t anything he could do as Izuku struggled to breathe under his mother’s iron grip. He couldn’t ask her why, he couldn’t question what she meant, he couldn’t even push her away as she began to strangle him.

Izuku could only sit there and listen as uncontrollable tremors racketed his body and his breathing hitched into hyperventilating.

“If it weren’t for you he’d still be here!” Her voice was a hysteric mixture of pure disgust that was both distraught and angry.

“And then you want to be a hero!? You’re quirkless! You were a worthless child since I brought you back from the hospital!”

“Too weak to even stand up for yourself!”

“Worthless!”

“A good for nothing Deku!”

She spat, and he flinched as though he’d been struck as her nails dug further into his neck.

“I should’ve abandoned you long ago- You’ve been nothing but trouble!”

“Having to be a mother to a horrible son like you!”

“I wish I’d died instead.”

At that she flung him away, and this time Izuku Midoriya did not get up.

He didn’t even try to protect himself when she slammed him into the floor.

The world was a daze, he couldn’t feel anything anymore he couldn’t even breathe as he gasped, the pressure gone from his throat.

He felt so detached, it was like he wasn’t even here.

There was a ringing in his ear from the impact and something wet was on his face but he didn’t know if it was tears or blood anymore.

It took him several minutes just to regain control of the spasming in his chest. His sobs choked him as he gasped into the ground, unaware of the spit that flew as he struggled to do something as simple as breathe.

His mom’s voice echoed in the base of his skull as his pitiful cries slowed to empty gasps and he laid pathetically on the concrete.

Izuku didn’t know how long he had been laying there.

He couldn’t think anymore, if he did his chest tightened and his head throbbed with the pain that hammered in his heart.

As if he held the weight of the world on his shoulders, Izuku painfully turned his head sideways, shifting awkwardly as he no longer felt the need to suppress the urge to cry out and spat blood as his body twitched from the pain.

His breathing slowed to nothing as he stared blankly at the wall, expressionless save for his shaking eyes.

He didn’t know if it was the concussion that made him hallucinate or if he had gone so utterly insane that he imagined it, but he saw All Might in front of him now.

Only he was bloodied.

His body had deep cuts littering all over him and his right arm was torn off from the shoulder, bone exposed jagged and awkwardly, spilling blood everywhere.

He was hunched over in on himself, clutching his stomach as if in his last moment he tried stopping his own innards from spilling everywhere from the gaping slash that ran from shoulder to hip exposing the eerie whiteness of his ribs.

The blood dripping from his opened mouth in a thick line pooled at his knee, and his eyes stared at him widely with a lifelessness that was unsettling even in the dark lighting.

It was as if he was saying, 'You did this to me.’

He could hear it.

Everywhere around him.

He could hear their voices circling him, suffocating him, strangling him as if they physically stood around blaming him.

Izuku could hear his own heartbeat in his ears, his ragged breathing had peaked and he couldn’t even register where he was anymore.

“Stop it.”

'Who said that?’ He wondered as he looked around without seeing, it felt as if he should know, but something was in the way.

“Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.”

'It sounded kind of familiar? But why was it so far away?’ There wasn’t anyone around him, so there shouldn’t have been a voice.

“Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.”

All at once it was like Izuku had been hit with a truck. He could feel every ounce of pain that choked him. His broken arm, the ribs that poked his lungs, the throbbing of his burn, every bruise and scrape all returned to him and the ringing vanished as quick as it came and instead enveloped him in a screaming he didn’t realise was his own.

He screamed, pulling at his own hair as the unbearable pain consumed his voice in each increasingly loud, 'Stop It,’ that uttered past his lips.

Izuku’s agonising scream bounced off the walls seeming to return to him, mocking him, as his own heartbreak became too much for him to handle.

“Stop it. Stop it. . stopitSTOPITSTOPITSTOPITSTOP!”

A blinding flash of white-

And then suddenly.

The screaming stopped.

It was quiet.

It was so utterly quiet that if you dropped a single hair you’d be able to hear it when it met the floor.

Izuku lay still on the ground, sprawled out in an unnatural pose that screamed louder than his own desperate cries- That something was terribly wrong.

His eyes were closed and for once since he stepped into the cement hell of a building, for once since he woke up in a scrambled mess, he looked unsettlingly peaceful.

The only eerie thing other than the silence that deafened the tormented room, was the fact that Izuku’s chest was not moving.

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