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#and once I had that realization there was no going back I could not comfortably be around them
thef1diary · 2 days
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hiii could u write a danny or carlos fic based on mess it up by gracie abrams? maybe smtg angsty w happy ending ??
Self Sabotage | D. Ricciardo
Summary: you leave Daniel because things are going too well, but you realize it's the worst decision you've ever made.
© thef1diary 2024. all rights reserved. Do not copy, steal, translate, or repost any of my work.
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Warnings: angst, insecurity (on reader's end), negative thoughts, allusion to childhood trauma, mention of failed past relationships, lil bit of fluff/comfort.
wc: 2.2k
You were waiting for the other shoe to drop. Things had been well between you and Daniel, in fact it was going too well that it worried you.
You believed that there would be a day where Daniel would show his true colours; prove that every promise, every gesture of love he made was nothing but a lie.
That day never came. He loved you endlessly, showering you in gifts and affirmations which only deepened your fear.
Opened two double doors
Despite Daniel's unwavering love and sincerity, you couldn't shake the feeling that you didn't deserve such happiness. Deep-seated insecurities gnawed at you, whispering that it was only a matter of time before you ruined everything.
Unable to bear the weight of your own self-doubt, you made the painful decision to push Daniel away before he could discover the flaws you believed defined you.
Typical, pretty sure I could grow up
With a heavy heart, you packed your belongings in silence, the weight of your decision pressing down on you with each item you carefully placed in boxes. As you moved through the rooms of your shared home, memories flooded your mind, each corner holding echoes of laughter, whispered promises, and tender moments shared with Daniel. The emptiness of the space around you mirrored the ache in your chest as you realized what you were about to leave behind.
With Daniel away, you found solace in the solitude of your departure, sparing both of you the agony of a tearful goodbye. Each item packed was a step closer to severing the ties that bound you together, a painful but necessary act of self-preservation.
Probably chemical
As you closed the door behind you for the last time, the weight of your decision settled over you like a shroud, leaving behind a home that once held the promise of a future you were no longer sure you deserved.
Driving away from the home you once shared with Daniel, tears blurred your vision as you navigated the familiar streets, each turn carrying you further from the life you had built together. The radio played softly in the background, a bittersweet soundtrack to your departure, as memories of happier times intertwined with the ache of loss.
I took up walking to turn it all off
Despite the pain, a small voice inside whispered that you were doing the right thing, that by leaving, you were sparing Daniel the burden of loving someone who couldn't love themselves. Yet, even as you tried to convince yourself that this was for the best, doubt crept in, casting shadows of regret over your decision.
You grip the steering wheel tightly, your knuckles turning white as you navigate the familiar streets. Glancing at the passenger seat, you see a photo of you and your boyfriend, smiling blissfully. It feels like a mockery now, a reminder of what you shattered.
Doesn't feel bearable
With a huff, you turned it over so you don't see his handsome smile staring back at you that always led you right into his arms, his laugh that was contagious enough to make you laugh as well.
You couldn't stop thinking about him or all the reasons you fell in love with him. He was perfect and unfortunately you didn't believe that you were enough for him.
Guess I thought when I left it would all stop
Opening the window, you let the breeze gather your thoughts and whisk them all away, both negative and positive. All you knew was that you had to leave him because it was good for him. He could find someone better than you, much better.
Your phone buzzes, his name flashing on the screen. You hesitate before answering, your heart pounding in your chest.
"Hey," you say, your voice barely above a whisper.
Hmm, it would all stop
"Hey, babe! What are you up to?" His voice is filled with warmth, but you can't shake the guilt building inside you.
"Nothing, just hanging about, you know how it is without you," you reply, forcing a smile you know he can't see.
"You sound a bit off. Is everything okay?" Concern colors his words.
When I told you "I'm fine", you were lied to
"Yeah, everything's fine. Just tired from the day, I guess," you lie, the weight of your deceit heavy on your chest.
"Okay, well, I miss you. I can't wait to get back to you," he says, his longing evident in his voice.
"I miss you too," you reply, feeling the sting of your betrayal with every word. You did truly miss him and you know that you would miss him even more as time would go on.
How could I think that all that I gave you was enough?
As you hang up the phone, you're consumed by guilt. You know what you're doing is wrong, but you can't stop now.
You continue driving, the weight of your decision bearing down on you with each passing mile. The road stretches endlessly ahead, mirroring the uncertainty gnawing at your conscience.
'Cause every time I get too close, I just go mess it up
Daniel's words echo in your mind, his longing for you palpable even through the phone. You can't shake the image of his face, filled with love and trust, oblivious to the lie you've just told him.
Even with the music and open windows, the car still becomes suffocating. You steal another glance at the photo frame you flipped over on the passenger seat, your heart twisting with guilt.
Funny that didn't work
A sudden urge to turn back grips you, but you push it aside. It's too late now, you tell yourself. You've made your choice.
Half an hour passes, the landscape blurring into a haze of regret and doubt. Your mind races with what-ifs and maybes, each one a dagger to your already wounded conscience and heart.
Suddenly, your phone rings again, jolting you out of your thoughts. Daniel's name flashes on the screen, but this time you don't pick up his call.
I could be anywhere, I'm on your block
"I'm sorry, Daniel," you whisper, turning off your phone so you don't see another call or text from him.
A wave of sadness washes over you, mingled with a tinge of guilt. Despite knowing deep down that leaving Daniel was the right decision for both of you, it doesn't make the pain any easier to bear.
Cynical, terrible
You take a deep breath, trying to steady your trembling hands as you focus on the road ahead. Each mile feels like an eternity, the weight of your decision heavy on your heart.
Memories of your time with Daniel flood your mind – the laughter, the shared dreams, the moments of pure joy that you thought would last forever. But somewhere along the way, the cracks began to form, the doubts and insecurities creeping in your mind until it threatened to consume you both.
Kicking myself with my gut in a knot
As you drive further and further away from him, you can't help but wonder if you've made a mistake. What if you're throwing away the best thing that ever happened to you? What if you'll never find someone who understands you the way Daniel did?
But then you remember the tears you shed, the sleepless nights spent without him, agonizing over whether to stay or go. You remember the feeling of suffocation, of being trapped in a relationship that was slowly suffocating you purely because you never felt such love before. Instead of accepting it, or at least telling him about it, you chose to endure it until it became unbearable.
'Cause I heard that you're happier
Perhaps you couldn't find someone better than Daniel, he was truly one of the best ones. But that thought didn't deter you away from your decision because you were the one always causing problems, always letting your own thoughts become the reason to end a relationship.
As you drive on into the night, you realize that leaving Daniel was the only way to save him from you. It wasn't easy, and it certainly wasn't painless, but you know in your heart that it was the right thing to do.
Hope that you're sleeping well knowing I'm not
In the weeks following the breakup, a sense of emptiness settled over you like a heavy fog, each day passing in a blur of regret and longing. As you reflected on what had led you to push Daniel away, you couldn't escape the realization that your own insecurities and past traumas had played a significant role in sabotaging the one good thing in your life.
Memories of past relationships haunted your thoughts, whispering tales of betrayal and heartbreak, leaving you unable to fully trust in the love Daniel offered so freely. Childhood wounds, buried deep beneath layers of self-preservation, resurfaced with a vengeance, casting doubt on your worthiness of happiness.
I'm doing too much, hmm
In the quiet moments of solitude, you found yourself grappling with the harsh reality of your actions, longing to turn back the hands of time and undo the damage you had wrought. With each passing day, the weight of regret grew heavier, until it became too much to bear.
He called many times when you finally turned your phone on, but you were too much of a coward to reply to any of his messages. You could tell he was hurt based on the voicemails he left, asking what he did wrong for you to leave abruptly. Daniel had wanted to surprise you by coming home a day early, and you ruined it by not being there.
Did I fall out of line when I called you?
Just like you ruined everything else in your life. You cried yourself to sleep that night, lulling yourself by playing his voicemails over and over again because despite his tone revealing he cried, he still loved you.
Summoning all the courage you could muster, you sought out Daniel, driven by an overwhelming need to make amends, to lay bare the truth of your fears and insecurities.
When I told you "I'm fine"
You stood on the step in front of the house you once called yours, and if everything went well, it would be yours again along with his.
Daniel opened the door, shock covering his features. He gazed at you from head to toe, checking if you were injured but once he was satisfied, his gaze hardened as it connected with yours.
"Daniel," you began, your voice trembling with emotion as you stood before him, "I need to talk to you."
You were lied to
Noticing the hesitation in your tone, his eyes softened, finally coming to a realization that you were truly standing in front of him after being left alone for weeks.
"What happened?" he asked, concern lacing his words. He itched to touch you, to hold you, but he needed to know your stance on your relationship.
How could I think that all that I gave you was enough?
Tears welled up in your eyes as you struggled to find the right words. "I'm so sorry," you whispered, your voice barely above a whisper. "I made a mistake. I let my fears get the best of me, and I pushed you away."
Daniel's brow furrowed in confusion and worry. Ignoring the voice in his head to stay away, he pulled you closer, hugging you and sighing as he found relief by having you in his arms.
I keep thinking maybe if you let me back in
"Why did you push me away? We could've talked," he muttered as he felt your tears wetting the crook of his neck. "It's... it's complicated," you replied, your voice cracking with emotion.
He pulled back, "did I do something?"
You quickly shook your head, "no, you're perfect. I got scared. Scared of getting hurt again, of letting someone in only to be left broken and alone. But I see now that I let my past dictate my future, and I lost sight of what truly mattered, how much you mattered."
We can make it better, breaking every habit
Silence hung heavy between you, the weight of your confession filling the space between your hearts. Then, finally, Daniel spoke, his voice soft but filled with pain. "I don't understand why you didn't talk to me about this sooner," he said, his eyes searching yours for answers.
"I was afraid," you admitted, tears streaming down your cheeks. "Afraid that if I opened up to you, you would see the broken pieces of me and walk away. But now I realize that keeping you at arm's length was the biggest mistake of my life."
Pull myself together, you could watch it happen
Daniel reached out, gently wiping away your tears with his thumb. "I'm not going anywhere," he said, his voice firm with conviction. "I love you, flaws and all. But we need to work through this together, okay?"
With a trembling smile, you nodded, feeling the weight of his words lift the burden from your shoulders.
In that moment, you knew that no matter what challenges lay ahead, you would face them together, hand in hand, guided by the light of love and forgiveness.
Let it happen, let it happen
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leaderwonim · 2 days
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unconditional love. ✧ park sunghoon x fem!reader genre: bittersweet fluff, coming of age angst
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you liked park sunghoon, you truly did. he was kind, intelligent, and had that soft introverted persona on the outside.
when you got to know him, he became the most funny and loudest person to ever exist, which had your heart doing backflips.
it wasn’t him that was the issue. it was you. you always had commitment issues, never being able to settle down because of your past pulling you behind. i mean—how could anyone ever like you? you felt as thought you were too loud, too annoying, too irritable, just too much.
despite your brain constantly bringing you down, park sunghoon loved you. he loved every single piece of you, the way you’d blow your perfect hair out of your face as you concentrated on the textbook in front of you, the way your eyebrows would furrow when you didn’t quite catch a question or answer, the way you’d prop your head onto your knees as a way to comfort yourself.
god, park sunghoon swore you were the one. he didn’t care that his friends warned him about your earned title of being a ghoster when it came to relationships, he didn’t care that it felt like he was constantly putting in more effort than you.
as long as he’s got you, he doesn’t care. so how did the two of you end up in this situation?
“i don’t get it,” sunghoon frowns, “what did i do wrong?”
“you didn’t do anything wrong,” you say exasperatedly, “in fact, you were perfect sunghoon. you were everything i wanted and more—it’s just me.”
park sunghoon hated the classic it’s me not you excuse when it came to situations like these. but because it’s you, he lets it slide, even though he already feels the tears coming.
“i don’t want to hurt you any longer, hoonie. you have to understand i’m ending this because i care about you too much to put you through hell.”
sunghoon solemnly nods, knowing whatever he’ll say won’t change anything, that it’s already too late and you’ve already made up your mind.
it’s cruel, he thinks. life. how it could be so depressing and meekly all at once.
it wasn’t until a year later that sunghoon and you crossed paths again. you two were now sophomores in college, and had even attended the same university.
you had gotten a boyfriend, finally deciding to settle down after maturing and realizing how much of a piece of shit you were to all the boys at your high school.
his name was heeseung and he had treated you like a princess, reminding you of how sunghoon used to treat you back in senior year.
now here you were, sitting on one of the university steps with your head hung low. your parents had given you the call about them divorcing, right in the middle of your sophomore year. you were miles away, and was heartbroken knowing your family was splitting in two without you being there physically to support them.
“hey, you okay?”
you knew that voice better than anyone.
“hoon?” you sniffle. “i’m sorry—why am i even calling you that.”
“it’s okay.” he reassures you, patting your back as he takes a seat. “what’s wrong?”
“parents are getting divorce,” you scoff. “guess thats karma for all the things i put you through.”
“don’t say that.” sunghoon gently wipes away your tears, frowning when he sees more appear.
“you shouldn’t even be comforting me, i treated you like shit sunghoon, i got a new boyfriend right after i said i couldn’t settle down with you.”
“who cares?” sunghoon says, and for the first time, you don’t see the romantic love he used to have in his eyes for you. “we’re young! of course you’re going to find other people.”
you’re in awe at the maturity sunghoon is displaying. you knew it took a lot of courage for him to do so.
“why are you being so nice, sunghoon?”
“the world is already cruel, yn.” sunghoon sighs. “so therefore, i won’t be.”
and although his words won’t stop the divorce of your parents or the sadness filling your chest, it makes you feel a tad bit lighter, knowing that you had someone like park sunghoon in your life.
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gr7mes · 2 days
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STUPID “love makes you stupid.” carl grimes x walsh!reader
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tags: angst, some fluff, violence, blood, 6x9
a/n: omg this req was SO good i am sosososo sorry i couldn’t execute it properly 😭 im not so proud of this one, but i hope its ok!! 
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you and carl grimes had been best friends ever since you could walk. you both met when your dad brought you to "bring your kid to work day" down at the station. the scent of coffee and the echo of footsteps filled the air.
it started to seem extremely boring, until a stranger approached you and your dad. you saw a little boy standing next to him, and felt a little less lonely. the man recognized you, though you had no idea who he was. "hi there y/n, this is carl." he introduced.
ever since then, you guys were inseparable. you and carl had a bond which was special, it was like no other. you could be yourself around him, and you could tell carl felt the same. the ease, the comfort, like you didn't have to pretend to be anyone else when you were together.
as expected, seeing him for the first time after the apocalypse started unleashed a unique wave of relief within you. you vividly recall the both of you making eye contact and running toward each other. you hugged each other tightly, as if you'd been separated for years.
"i was so scared!" you said, clutching your doll in your hand. "you don't need to be scared anymore," he reassured. "i'm here to protect you." carl loved to be your knight in shining armor, even when you were young.
through all the dark days, and as you both grew older, you two had always been there for each other. no matter whatever crap life threw at you, you guys stuck together. walker got too close to you? dead.
"i would never let anything happen to you. don't worry." he would always say. he was your closest friend, your ride or die. growing up was hard enough during the apocalypse, but having each other made it bearable.
however, as time passed, you started to feel a different way towards him. you started to feel as if things wouldn't be so bad if you guys were more than friends. actually, it was starting to seem like it was all you could dream of.
you thought it was just a one time thing, but you were dumb to think so. you often found yourself blushing at the thought of him, and when he had caught you daydreaming, let's just say he was curious.
"come on, why can't you just tell me who you like?" he asked, growing more agitated by the second. "shut up, i don't like anyone." you said, rolling your eyes playfully. "bullshit, tell me who it is." he said, looking you in the eye, a grin plastered onto his pretty face.
"nope!" you replied, popping the "p."
carl grimes had stolen your heart, and there was no doubt about it. you knew he had you wrapped around his finger, it was quite obvious when you would stress whenever he got the tiniest injury.
"calm down, it's just a cut." "do you ever shut up?" you would say, reaching for the bandaids on the top shelves of your room. "it's really not as bad as it looks." you knew he was telling the truth, it was never that serious. however, you being you, you couldn't help but worry. 
but now? now it was actually serious. too serious. you felt the panic start to sink in the second you saw ron, a vengeful look on his face, pointing a gun in rick's direction. you froze when you realized who was in standing front of him. it was carl. your carl.
"you." ron said. your heart pounded against your ribs. your breaths were shallow and rapid, as a wave of terror gripped you. surely he wouldn't actually shoot. right? so many possibilities were going through your head at once, it was the worst thing you ever experienced.
fortunately, michonne came in a flash. you jumped slightly when her katana pierced through ron's skin. atleast it was all over now though. rick was alright. carl was alright.
or so you thought.
BANG!
his stupid fucking finger slipped. 
all of your negative thoughts came flooding back into your mind the moment the sound of the gunshot hit your eardrums. however, among all of your worries, there was one most prominent. where did the bullet go?
your eyes darted around before your gaze landed on carl. he had his head down, and when he looked up, it felt as if all the air in your lungs had been sucked out of your body. "dad?" he whimpered out.
he had been shot. in the head. directly into his eyesocket. the amount of blood flowing down his face made you sick to your stomach. it was only a matter of seconds before his body went limp and fell to the ground.
you never knew it was possible to feel this angry. there was no way in hell that just happened, and you couldn't do anything to stop it. it should've been you.
your facial expression contorted into one showing pure horror and anxiety. your eyes widened, tears at the rim, threatening to fall out. you breathed heavily, as you felt anguish and rage twist within you. rick lifted carl into his arms and carried him. that was your cue to pull out your knife.
you and michonne ran in front of rick and carl, killing walkers one by one. you were going ballistic, slashing every walker you possibly could, grunts escaping your mouth with every stab. you were going on a rampage, you weren't even thinking, you were just so enraged. how could you have let that happen to him?
blood splattered across your face, but you barely even noticed. hot tears streamed down your cheeks. each drop carried the weight of frustration and sorrow, their salty taste bitter on your lips. your body started to grow tired, but you kept pushing. dozens of walkers were laying on the ground.
now, the focus was getting carl help. and that's what you wanted. but you just couldn't stop. you were about to plunge your bloody knife into yet another walker, but michonne caught your arm in mid-air.
"that's enough." she said. she noticed how your chest rose and fell at a rapid pace, and the way you looked like you wanted to watch the world burn.
she took the knife from your grasp before putting her hand around your shoulder for a few seconds to calm you down. "we have to hurry." she continued to kill every walker in her sight, one by one. you didn't care that your body hurt like hell, you didn't care about all the blood splattered onto you, you didn't care that you were exhausted.
the only thing you cared about was carl. would he be okay? was this the end? were you gonna lose your other half? your heart ached. you weren't even gonna get to tell him how you felt about him.
after what seemed like hours of running and fighting, you found yourself laying down in the infirmary bed next to carl's. he'd been patched up before you. he was sleeping, and you were glad he was getting the rest he needed.
but every time you looked at him, your chest tightened. he should've never even have to be here. he should've never had to go through that, ever.
daryl had a chair pulled up next to your bed. he was like a father figure to you after shane died. he sighed, wiping your now crimson splattered arms with a wet rag to clean off the blood. "y' used the knife i gave you?" he said, not looking up from your arm. "yeah, it's the best i have."
the silence in the room was so loud. it's not that he was disappointed in you, he was proud you were able to defend yourself. it was the fact that you could've died and you still kept pushing that made him so quiet. he cared about you a lot, and he knew you didn't have to fight so hard, especially at your age.
"why'd you do that?" he asks, finally making eye contact with you. you let out a breath before opening your mouth to speak, "love makes you stupid."
it felt nice, to finally be able to talk to someone about your feelings for the blue eyed boy. after all, you were never gonna tell him, so atleast you could tell someone. "damn right it does." he replied, before lighty ruffling your hair. 
"get some sleep, okay kiddo?" daryl said, wiping the last of the blood off your arms. "yeah, jus- please don't te-" "i won't tell a soul." he cut you off, already knowing what you were gonna ask of him. "thanks." you said, smiling.
little did you know, daryl wasn't the only person who heard your late night confession. a "sleeping" carl stirred in his bed, now facing the wall in the opposite direction of you. perhaps it was the exhaustion getting to you, but you could've sworn you heard a light chuckle.
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rooksamoris · 2 days
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💞 — 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐕𝐀𝐆𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐍𝐃 𝐖𝐇𝐎 𝐀𝐕𝐎𝐈𝐃𝐒 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐎𝐀𝐒𝐈𝐒.
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💞 — in which jamil realizes that no matter how hard he avoid the oasis, the thirst will not disappear till it is quenched.
💞 — jamil viper x reader
💞 — warnings: hurt/comfort type fic. some descriptions of gore to emphasize yearning (the arabs be dramatic, what can i say)
💞 — 1.7k words. inspired by "sawwah" the song by abdel halim hafez. you should listen to it while reading tbh. first in a series of me assigning old school arabic songs to various characters. and yes, arabic speaking jamil is back. the translations are italicized with the arabic, and i changed some lyrics to fit third person, instead of first.
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Wa ana mashi fil bilad, sawwah.
And I walk through countries, a vagabond.
Jamil had a job. He was bound to eternal servitude to the Al-Asim family—practically property to Bait (house/clan) Al-Asim. He had a job, and yet he spent his nights away in his mind, wandering like a vagabond. Purposeless, jobless. 
All those nights toiling in the kitchen of Scarabia made him forget purpose and work were different things. He would never call working for that spoiled boy his purpose. He was made for more—to be praised, to rule and command. He deserved more. Jamil deserved more than having to push away his moon, his qamar (moon). 
You were like an oasis in the desert expanse that he called his mind, and yet he walked away from you. He walked away when he desperately needed a sip. When he desperately needed rest and dates from your palm.
“Qad jinint? (Have you become crazed?) I have too many things to deal with. And you’d be better off without the burden of my title. Imshi (Go on/walk off).”
Jamil saw it. He saw the way your expression faltered, the softest twitch in your brow, the smallest tremble of your lips. It was cruel, he knew it, and it hurt him to say it. But in the end, he knew there was nothing else he could say. There must have been a better way to delicately reject your confessions, and yet he took the harshest route. Jamil plucked the dates from your palm and trampled over them.
He hurt himself by doing so, denying himself the one thing he desperately wanted. In the end, it was simple. Mishwar baeed, wa hu gareeh. His life was a long journey that only injured him. He did not want it to injure you as well.
Still, his charcoal eyes would seek you out. He would still ask Kalim about you, wanting to know how the distance was affecting you. Did you become a vagabond as he did? Were you avoiding oases?
Did you ask about the brown-skinned boy who broke your heart? He just wanted to be reassured—tamainu (reassure him)—that his qamar was doing alright. Wa in la’akum habibi, salamuli alai, he wanted to tell Kalim. If you see my love, wish them peace from me.
He would never ask you himself, nor did he get the chance to since you would scurry off whenever he passed by. The one place he could not avoid you was the kitchen of Scarabia, his domain, during one of Kalim’s parties. You were hiding away from the madness, and he had been trying to hide away from you. It was the same spot in which you cooked with him, listened to him, and were eventually rejected by him.
Jamil froze after walking in, and you turned your head up from your phone once you saw him, “I’m sorry,” you said, pushing yourself off of the counter and heading for the other door. You could not face him, not after that rejection. Not after he told you that your feelings were that of a crazed djinni (genie/jinn).
He shook his head and walked to the stove top, turning it on, “Stay. I’ll make chai,” he muttered. He did not even look at you.
You still wanted to leave, but instead, you just nodded. Honestly, you were a fool for the man, for that long dark brown hair which he braided so perfectly, and his aquiline nose which you desperately wanted to trace your finger along, “I don’t want to trouble you—”
“It’s no trouble. It gives me an excuse to get away from Kalim.”
You swallowed and nodded.
The silence was horrifically uncomfortable. The only sounds in the kitchen were the boiling water in the kettle and the sound that the mortar and pestle made while Jamil began to grind the herbs for the tea. Chai, cloves, cardamom—he added cinnamon this time. The scent always made everything more cozy.
Ya qamar, ya nasini. Oh moon who forgets me. Jamil hoped you would have gotten over your feelings for him and forgotten about the rejection, but he could tell it stung. The way you looked around the kitchen proved that enough. He poured the evaporated milk into the tea, let it simmer with the racing of his heart, and then poured both of you cups. He was gentle as he set your cup in front of you, unlike the savagery that he handled your heart with. 
Jamil leaned against the island, his eyes trailing over your face, “Are you—”
“I’m fine,” you blurted, holding the cup of tea. Waseitak, waseiya, ya shahid aleiya, “I promised you—you heard. You saw,” you elaborated, “I’m fine.” Tekilu ala beiyak. You could have told him of the state you were in after the rejection, but you opted for lies veiled by a fake grin.
He understood. He did not let you see past his veil either, “I see.” 
“The tea is great.”
“Thanks.”
There it was, another uncomfortable silence. His eyes said it all, though. Had you looked close enough, you would have seen how they ached to sacrifice themselves for you. He wished his worries for you would leave him alone—he would have gouged his eyes out just to make the aching in his heart disappear. It was curling in on itself, threatening to burst with the violence of a desert storm, sand filled his lungs, suffocating him. The weeks felt like years, and he was just a nomad in the night.
“I didn’t mean what I said,” he set his cup down.
You immediately frowned and put your teacup down as well, scared you would drop in, “You don’t get to say that now,” you mumbled.
Jamil nodded in agreement. It was cruel, rejecting you so harshly just to turn around and claim he did not mean any of it. Especially when he still did find you crazy for loving him as ardently as you claimed, “It’s wrong. I know,” he said, looking away from you and to the door where all the commotion was. The music was muffled by the shut doors, making the kitchen feel like an entirely different building, “But I… I feel the same.”
That was another lie. He did not just feel the same, Jamil longed for you. He yearned, his heart ached and his veins begged to be torn out for your sake. Every cell in his body called for your name, his hands begged to grasp your waist, kiss your neck—his hands which artfully painted henna, wished they could trace every curve and every dip on your body.
“Jamil…” you trailed off.
He merely shook his head, “It is because I feel the same that I must reject you. You—you have so much more waiting in your life without me. My suffering should not be yours,” he said, and he said it as if it were the law of the universe. He was a vagabond eternally bound to avoid the oases because the oases were not meant for him. They were meant for Kalim Al-Asim.
Despite all that, he did not push you away when you cupped his face. He did not protest as he drowned. He did not thrash, he did not fight. His body did as it wished, leaning into your hands, “Ya qamar… you are making this more difficult than it needs to be,” he muttered, the disdain dying before it could embrace the quiet air of the kitchen.
You frowned at him—sevens, he wanted to kiss that mouth of yours—and your brows furrowed, “Let me, Jamil. Just let me,” you said. What did you want him to let you do? You had no clue, or perhaps it was just too broad to describe.
Nawarli, wararili, seitak al-habayeb.
Enlighten and show me the path to the beloveds.
He was so weak when it came to you. Before he knew it, his hands were at the small of your back, pulling you closer and forcing you to arch against him as his lips met yours in a fierce kiss. He sighed into your mouth, his tongue slipping in when you gasped in surprise.
Jamil needed you even closer. His hands made their way down to your hips, his thumbs slipping under the hem of your shirt to feel your skin. It was just as nice as he dreamed it would be. What made it all the better was how you kissed him back.
One of your hands gripped his shirt, right at his chest, right above his cruel racing heart, and the other held the back of his head. The quietest of whimpers escaped you as he bit your bottom lip, causing him to groan. 
He pressed you against the counter, causing your hand to slip from his chest and move to hold onto the surface behind you. You kissed him till you could not breathe, “Ja—Jamil,” you stammered when your lips parted from his. 
Greedily, he went in and kissed you some more. Jamil had taken a sip, and now he wanted it all. He only pulled away when your hands pressed against his chest to push him away. His eyes widened and his hands fell back to his sides. He pulled the hood down to hide his face from you as he turned his head, “Sorry,” he muttered.
“It’s—It’s fine,” you replied, fixing your clothes and hair, “Are we…” you let the question hang like a date on a palm tree.
He nodded, “If you’ll still have me,” he replied. What he wanted to do was get on his knees and beg you to use your lips to end his suffering—beg that you use those hands to pull the sand out of his chest.
“Of course, I’d still have you, Jamil,” 
Your words were like a soothing balm. It was the salve that you spread over his burns, over his scars, and over the bruises that his yearning created, “Okay,” he said, and it was all he could manage to say for now. 
He picked up the kettle of tea and poured you some more. No matter what he did, he could not run away from you, his purpose. You forced the vagabond to stop and pulled the title right off of him, before pushing him into the waters of the oasis.
“We have some ma’amoul (semolina biscuit stuffed with date filling),” he says, after some silence.
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10yo-anon · 2 days
Text
《 Sick days. 》
Satoru Gojo x F!reader
《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》
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《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》
⚠️: slight silly type of hurt/comfort!! Yay! :3 (possibly ooc! Satoru), DIALOGEEEEE!!
WC: 896.
A/N: NOOOOO MY TUMBLR DRAFTS DIDN'T SAVE PART 2 OF DARK RED. I WAS HALFWAY FINISHED. IM USIBG THIS LIL DRABBLE TO COPE. AT SKEWL RN MAKING SKEWL DOODLES TO 💪
《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》
Day 1.
It wasn't often for Satoru to get sick. You know what? Scrap that. It was rare for him to get sick. Maybe once or twice every year. possibly due to him being a sorcerer.
And if he does get sick, it would be a simple cold that would only effusive his immune system for a few days! Unfair!
If you were honest, you kind of liked it when he would get sick.. he gets more clingy, begging for attention and being twice as affectionate as he was physically and emotionally than normal.
But now it doesn't look like just small cold when you see Satoru laying on the couch, groaning, instead of rushing towards your bedroom like he always does whenever he gets back from his missions and responsibilities.
"Satoru, you're back!—..are you okay?" You ask as you walk over to him, sitting on the soft arm chair.
"Huh?.." He tilts his head up to look at you before quickly sitting up, " baby, you're here— yes, yes I'm fine.. duh." he scoffs, "why are you asking? Concerned for your little ol' boyfriend, huh?" He attempts to distract you.
"Maybe because your face is all red, and I doubt its from blushing." You respond sternly, ignoring the last sentence he spat out.
"Its noth—" Before he could talk back, your hands cup his face, in which he subconsciously leans on. "Satoru.. you're sick." You frown. When he realizes you were concerned, his hand goes up to wrap around your wrist. "You know I'll be fine, besides, I'm sure this will go away sooner or later!" Though sweet, His reassurance pisses you off, how could he not care for himself! He should know better!
"Im not sure this will go away 'sooner or later', your temperatures too high." You kiss his forehead. "Nuh uh! Promise, im finee, besides, I dont need your help anyways." Is it possible for you to take your actions and words back?
"Oh, is that so? Fine then, Satoru." You huff before leaning away. "Wait— I don't mean it like that!" "Dosent look like you don't." He crosses his arms. "Fine then, maybe I do think I don't need your help." "Fine." You sigh out before turning away, walking back to the master bedroom to take do your night routine. "Fine!" You hear him respond back at the living room.
《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》
Day 2.
You wake up from your peaceful slumber, greeted by the pillow wall you made with the reason: "so your fever won't infect me." And Satoru's back. He would always wake up earlier than your, but given his state, it was understandable.
You wanted to help but after your small petty fight with him and his words, your ego won't let you.
You stretch your arms and hop out of bed, (not before you silently place a soft kiss on top of satoru's bed head.) the least you could do was to continue with your morning, and cook food for the both of you.
《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》
Is it possible for him to take his actions and words back?
He wanted to slap himself sooo bad.. not only did he make you angry, but he didn't even get his "goodnight" and "I love you", he couldn't cuddle you up the whole night because of your stupid idea of a pillow wall, (he knows your reason wasn't the only reason.) But now he had to wake up from his shitty slumber with a raging head ache. He didn't want to play this petty game anymore, but his ego doesn't want to lose. And he started it anyway.
He yawns and walks to the kitchen in search for you, but he only saw breakfast waiting for him and a note saying you went out for errands. Couldn't his day get any worse?
Grumbling curses to himself, he walks to the medicine cabinet you handmade and personally decorated for whenever he came back needing to get bandaged. His hand rummages through the cabinet, gauze.. syringes.. anesthesia...ah, pills!grabbing whatever packet of pills he saw first he sits back at the table seat, eating the delicious warm meal you left for him and swallowing down the pills with water soon after.
《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》
You take your shoes off, putting the bag of groceries on the counter before going to the bedroom to freshen up.
Your fight with Satoru was only a waiting game to see who breaks and loses, who gets their ego eaten by the other.
Surprisingly, Satoru was nowhere to be found, not until you feel arms wrapping around your waist from behind before he pulls you to his warm chest, leaning down to nuzzle his head on your neck, his warm skin touching yours.
"M'sorry. Im sooo sorry.." you hear and even feel him whine out. "Can't do this anymore.. take care of me, pleasee.."
"Oh, Toru." Maybe this is what happens when even your white blood cells have an ego.
You turn your body to face his slumping one. Barely balancing as he depends his weight down on you, until you both fall down the bed, him on top of you, successfully trapping you before smothering your face with kisses as you giggle from the ticklish feeling.
"Satoru! Stop!" You teasingly push him away. "Hey! You want to help me, don't you." "Mhm, well, yeah—" "then let me continue!" "This won't even help!" "I don't know about that... making you happy is actually taking my head ache away.."
"You geek."
《⊹🎧‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧₊˚🖇️✩ ₊˚‧ 🎧⊹》
A/N: so yeah, i got to rewrite dark red part 2 AGAIN. Before english period started i checked my drafts, and it wasn't there. So i wrote this lil drabble for the whole english period instead of writing notes just to cope 🤗
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aleenuhs · 2 days
Note
Arthur comforting crying/ upset reader
𖦹 Always Here
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thank u anon <3
word count: 1,099
paring: Arthur x GN!reader
a lil bit of angst if u will.
You had accompanied Arthur, Charles, and Sadie on an outing to Saint Denis, to go play some poker at the Saloon.
Sadie had forced you to go, though you'd wanted to stay at camp finishing up your chores for the night.
But you went.
It was crowded and stuffy in the room, sitting across from the table they were playing at, eating some of the beef jerky you had in your pocket. A bit bored, you looked at the people in the room just watching, careful not to stare because people were easily offended by the gaze of another human being.
Arthur and the others were fully engrossed in their gameplay, which you'd opted out of cause you never understood it, or liked it for that matter. You wanted to go back to camp, not be here with a bunch of drunk men and working girls.
Your eyes fluttered, through all the noise, you somehow fell asleep for a bit.
When you woke back up, you were still sitting in the same chair. Surprisingly, you weren't robbed or anything bad.
You looked around the room again, spotting the table that Arthur, Charles and Sadie were once playing at, and they weren't there. Your heart rate immediately spiked, had they left without you?
You sprung up from the chair that you were sitting at and walked outside to see if they were out there, no clue where they'd went from the time you were awake, till now, not to mention, how long had you been asleep?
You walked around, in search for any of them, and no luck.
You knew Shady belle was within walking distance from where you were, but it was dangerous. And you didn't have your horse, so you couldn't ride back. The worst part was that they'd forgotten all about you, Sadie and Charles. But worst of all, Arthur had forgotten. It made you slightly angry that your own significant other would do such a thing. You walked up to a random person, who you saw had a pocket watch.
"Mister?" You spoke quietly, tapping him on the shoulder.
The man looked you up and down, before nodding.
"You know what time it is?"
"1:20."
Your eyes widened, "1:20, thank you." You repeated before walking off, damn it was late.
No stagecoaches were out at this time of night. What could you even do?
You walked around for a moment before you were met with a overwhelming urge to just walk all the way back to Shady Belle.
So you did. Holding yourself, as it was cold, you walked all the way back, shivering slightly. The tears left your eyes, but you didn't sob, no, they were silent tears.
When you arrived after 30 minutes of walking, you immediately walked into the house and went up to Arthurs room and stood before the bed, watching him sleep. he woke up to you. You looked wrecked, tear stained cheeks and bleary eyes, he could hardly see with just the small lantern lighting up the room.
He rubbed his eyes and sat up next to you. "Why aren't you in bed?" He asked, obliviously, maybe he was drunk.
You wanted to yell at him, but instead your words came out in a soft tone. "You left me, Arthur."
His eyes went back to their cold gaze. "Huh?"
"What is not to understand, Arthur? You left me at the saloon in Saint Denis!" Your words were more charged now, but not exactly yelling, just a bit more angry you felt.
"Jesus... Im sorry, I didn't mean to- er.. Leave you there darlin'." His eyes widening after he realized just what he had did. He gets up and puts his hands on your shoulders, and with this. You start to cry.
You don't even lift your head up to look at him, you play with your fingers.
His eyes fixed on how broken you looked, tears streaming down your face, he hardly knew what to do.
"I am so sorry." He speaks, almost silent. He brings you in, hugging you tightly, his big arms wrapped around you made you feel slightly better. But not entirely.
"I had to walk here, Arthur." You murmured.
His breath hitched. "Nobody... did anythin' to you, right?" He would curse himself if you said yes, but luckily, you shook your head. He sighed a breath of relief. "Good, but I truly am sorry, that I left you there, that we left you there."
You didn't respond, the tears still falling from your eyes. His warmth surrounds you, almost overheating your body. "Arthur promise me this won't happen again."
He looked at you, "I promise to try, I never intended for this to happen." He notices your lip trembling, he brings you even closer. "C'mere." He lays down on the bed signaling for you to join him there.
You hesitate for a moment, but end up laying right next to him, you nuzzled yourself right into his neck and sighed deeply. His calloused hand reached up to your face, fingers on your chin. "Look at me, darlin." He spoke softly, a difference in his voice, the voice that was usually brash and loud was somehow comforting you as you cried. "I love you, so much."
A smile reached your lips when he told you that. "I love you too."
"I will always be here for you, I can't believe I let myself do what I did back there." He admits. "I'm sure Sadie and Charles meant no harm by it as well."
You nod, knowing that there was no mailce behind this.
His hand runs up and down your back, soothing you, calming you down, taking away all your worries. He adjusted you, making sure that you were more than comfortable with him. He just held you.
At once, you were just sniffling, no more tears to shed. He had calmed you down, one of the only people who could.
He was truly the definition of duality, he could go from brutal to plain out kind and caring, and it was all for you. Everything he did, was for you, so you didn't have to worry. You could imagine that he was still constantly cursing himself now that he'd left you at the saloon, then walk all the way back to Shady Belle by yourself.
But now that you were safe in his arms, all those worries went away. "Shhh, shh. Rest, you can sleep now." He cooed, rubbing your neck and placing kisses on your forehead and nose.
You fell asleep shortly after.
a/n if u enjoyed it, smash the like and subscribe! jk, feel free to req more honey!
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thecuriousquest · 2 days
Note
oral fixation with yandere yuuji? 🫣
Sloppy Girl
Yan!Yuji Itadori x Fem!Reader
Warnings: NSFW, light yandere themes, oral sex (male receiving), 18+ characters, isolation implied, ass groping, light spanking
Master List
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You were smacking away at your gum as you sat in Yuji’s room with him, reading some book Gojo gave you to help you learn more about Jujutsu Sorcery. It was…irritating to say the least. Yuji could barely handle listening to you smack your lips every time you were huffy and puffy about something. This is just a whole new level of annoying.
But he likes you, really likes you. So much so that he keeps you away from Megumi, Todo, and every one else he deems a threat. He even has you study with him in his room or read manga just so that he can get some extra time alone with you.
But the constant smacking is driving him insane. He’s good at picking up on the small things, seeing what you’re interested in, what your habits are, your dislikes, what pisses you off, and what makes you giggle so adorably.
And he now realizes that he’s never once seen you not chewing gum or sucking on candy. You don’t smoke, thankfully. He would’ve had to figure out a way to get you to stop, and that wouldn’t have been easy.
The most sensible thing to do now though is…and he does this…he reaches over and claps his big, meaty paw over your mouth.
You can’t help but look at him with wide eyes as you stare at him with utter confusion. You try to say his name, but it comes out muffled and distorted behind his palm.
“Can you stop smacking your gum?”
It’s so blatant, so blunt. You honestly didn’t even realize you were doing it. It’s just a habit by now. You nod to appease him, to get him to remove his hand, and when he does, you sheepishly throw your gum away just to keep from accidentally annoying him again.
As you go back to reading your book, Yuji settles back down on the floor next to you and starts reading his manga when he sees you lift your hand to your mouth a few minutes later. He watches as you chew on the tip of your index fingernail. Biting, biting, the clicking of your nail against your teeth.
“Do you always have to have something in your mouth?” It’s not meant to be mean. He asks it genuinely. He really just doesn’t understand it. The candy, the gum, now the nail biting?
“Huh? Is that supposed to be a dirty joke?”
The sudden realization of his and your words clicks, and a perverted smile forms on his face.
“Do you want it to be?”
His cock twitches at the idea of growing hard inside your mouth.
“Yuji…I don’t do that kind of stuff.”
“Hey, come on, don’t be shy. Does…sucking on stuff make you feel more comfortable?”
You can’t help but blush at the way he phrases his question. “I guess…I just…feel more at ease.”
“Why didn’t you just say so? I’ve got something you can put in your mouth!”
With one hand, he’s tugging his uniform trousers down. With the other, he puts a hand on the back of your head and guides your lips towards his thick and heavy erection.
“You gotta open wide, or it won’t go in. Come on. Just give it a little suck. I’m clean, and you might even like it.”
You don’t know why, but you trust him. He’s always proved himself to be a good and genuine guy. You part your lips before taking Yuji in your mouth all the way. The positioning is awkward with you and him on the floor, but he tries to help accommodate the situation by letting you lean and move around as much as you need to in order to get comfortable.
At first, he tries his hardest to let you go at your own pace. This was supposed to be for your comfort after all. However, he just can’t help himself. His hands find their way up to your hair, fisting your locks gently as he forces you to go faster. You end up taking him deeper down your throat than you’d like.
You splay your hands against his thighs as you gag on his cock, spit flooding your mouth, drool seeping out past your lips and down your chin.
Yuji gropes your ass and lets his head tilt to the side. He can’t help but spank you, loving your ass that he feels only he should have his hands all over. Loving the sound of palm to skin, he smacks you a few more times before going back to groping your pink cheeks.
“Fuck…you give sloppy head. Fucking knew I loved you for a reason.”
That causes your heart to skip a beat as he controls your pace. You breathe through your nose and hollow out your cheeks, taking his girth in stride as best you can given the little experience you have with these things.
You can’t stop thinking about it, though, as Yuji pumps your lips up and down his dick. Does he seriously love you? You didn’t even know. Were there signs? Has he ever dropped hints? You don’t remember him giving you any. Maybe, you just weren’t paying attention…?
You make a muffled noise as Yuji’s face screws up in twisted pleasure as he releases his come down your throat, petting your head and calling you a good girl for taking him so nicely.
Your lips pop off of his cock, and you sit there for a few moments in disbelief about the entire thing.
“So, did it help?”
You swallow the thick load, gulping and licking your lips as you look away from him.
“Uh…yeah…thanks.”
You don’t know why you said that because you just feel like an even bigger stupid slut now.
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geeks-universe · 1 day
Text
Thanks to the lovely anon, here’s another sneak peak of the one shot that’s actually gonna be two lol (keep in mind this is still a work in progress and will likely be edited before posting)
Cooper Howard was deep in thought the first time he met you.
He’d been sitting on a park bench, mentally running over some of his lines for what could’ve been hours before he realized someone was now occupying the spot beside him.
It was a woman.
A pretty one.
A sad one.
Ever the gentleman, he cleared his throat, cautiously asking, “Everything alright?”
The look you gave him was a tired one, shoulders weighed down with a weight he didn’t know of. You chewed on your lip- a habit, if the way you did it unconsciously told him anything.
His eyes threatened to follow, but he refused to let them. He was an honorable man, and a loyal one. The strain is his marriage would pass, and he wouldn’t be the one to throw it away for a pretty face.
A very tantalizing, pretty face.
“If you knew the world was going to end, and there was absolutely nothing you could do to stop it, what would you do?”
He was surprised by the question, concerned even, with the state of the world. The way you asked it was so melancholy, a fact as true as the clouds in the sky.
A beat passed as he tried best to formulate an answer, your eyes trained on the park in front of you once more. It was a nice day, the kind where a calm breeze didn’t make you shiver, but the air was just as fine without one.
Peaceful, he’d say.
Not the kind where doomsday propositions were answered, but he couldn’t refuse your question- not when you gazed at him sideways, like you didn’t expect him to have an answer.
“I’d try anyways.”
You blew out a breath, nodding visibly as if his words had solidified a conversation you were having with yourself. The tenseness in your shoulders lessened, and the beginnings of a smile pulled at your lips.
“You’re the hero type, then?”
He breathed a laugh, shrugging in an almost humble manner.
“I just play one in the movies.”
The surprise on your face was evident. Clearly, you had no idea who he was. It wasn’t unheard of, but his reputation had blown up, so he hadn’t expected it.
Actor of the Century, indeed.
You hummed, a light sound that matched the birds chirping in the trees above.
“What movies?”
He raised a brow, smiling a bit at the interest on your face. You were leaning back on the bench now, arms crossed over your chest. His first assessment of you had been military, maybe.
You weren’t in frilly skirts or a smart pantsuit that frequented the local areas. Instead, you were in tight fitting black jeans and a leather jacket that looked like it’d seen better days, an armor of sorts to the outside world. Your hair was pulled back in an elaborate braid, strands framing your face like they’d fallen out on their own.
Without the forlorn expression though, you looked too young to be some grizzled general. There was something in your eyes, a camaraderie between two people who had seen some shit, but you hadn’t yet lost that youthful radiance.
“Why don’t you figure that one out,” he teased, a winning smile reaching his eyes.
“Alright, stranger,” you laughed, jumping to your feet.
The breeze blew your scent over him- honey and peaches and all the comforts of home. It was intoxicating, and he was reminded once again why continuing this conversation was dangerous.
“Next time I see you, I expect an autograph.”
He didn’t even have time to say a proper goodbye before you were walking away, newfound confidence in your gait.
The strange interaction stayed with him for the rest of the week.
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redtsundere-writes · 3 days
Text
Jinx | Sukuna Ryomen
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mmafigther!sukuna ryomen x femcoach!reader
Part 12. Between Us
Beginning. ← Previous |
Sypnosis: Sukuna is a world champion with anger issues. It's believed by many that he is untrainable. Yeah, you can't train him, but you can dominate him. Contents: Fighting. Female reader being dom. Jinx AU (the BL, not the character from lol) Yuuji, Choso and Sukuna are brothers. Warnings: Cursed words, I only read it once. Word Count: 2879 words. Author's Note: 2 parts away to the end! I'm super excited for what is to come.
Btw I made a PLAYLIST
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Dinner continued as night fell over the elegant panorama. Musicians continued to play all night long, waiters walked around the tables with trays laden with appetizers and people chatted pleasantly surrounded us. I was eating delicious food, drinking expensive champagne, and I was sitting between two super attractive men, what more could I ask for? Definitely a good night. His mother would sometimes give me uncomfortable looks, but Sukuna would scold her every time he caught her doing it. Choso would get me to talk about my plans once I stopped working for her brother. And Yuuji… I didn't want to talk to him after exposing myself like that in front of his family. I knew he was a big gossip, but I never thought he would reveal something like that to his parents. 
When dinner was over, his parents said goodbye to everyone and went back to their house. Or I rather say, mansion. I had discovered that the Itadori's owned a large coffee company that was distributed internationally. Now I understood why Sukuna was so spoiled, he has always had everything he wants from the cradle. Good thing Choso and Yuuji didn't turn out like him. 
“I think we are ready to leave, right, Choso?” Yuuji asked the middle brother before pulling him by the arm to the car. 
“Not so fast,” Sukuna said before pulling him towards him by the hoodie's cap. Yuuji replied to the sudden movement. “We already knew you were a shitty gossip, but today you went too far,” I scolded him while forcing him to stand in front of me. 
“Stop it, Sukuna!” Choso exclaimed to make me let go of his little brother. 
“Shut up! You know perfectly well that what he did is not right,” Sukuna barked. “Apologize to Y/n for what you said.” 
That action coming from Sukuna healed wounds in me that I didn't know were still there. I think it was the first time someone defended me like that. I was so used to always fighting for myself that I had forgotten how it felt to have someone come to my defense.  I don't know if he was doing it out of wanting to discipline his younger brother or to protect me, it was still comforting to see him act so concerned about the situation. I felt safe next to him even though he could act like a monster at times.
“I'm sorry for saying what Naoya did to you in front of everyone. It won't happen again,” Yuuji apologized, avoiding my gaze, ashamed of his actions. 
“You better keep your word,” I told him so. Sukuna would let him go. 
After a quiet ride home, Sukuna wished me goodnight and we both headed to our respective rooms. I took off the cute little girl costume I had put on as I recalled the intimate moment I had shared with Choso and how Sukuna kept nagging his family so he could have a quiet dinner. I sighed tiredly before lying face down on the big white bed. I shoved my face between the goose down pillows as I realized I had spent the whole night fantasizing about two different men. 
“What the fuck am I doing?” I scolded myself. 
Tonight I confirmed that my feelings for Choso were still there, but now they coexisted with the feelings I had for Sukuna, his own brother. What I was feeling was not right, but what could I do about it? I couldn't date both of them to find out whom I liked more. I couldn't play with them like they were plastic dolls. I also didn't want to make a pros and cons list, that seems tacky to me. I looked at the clock, it was 11 o'clock at night. I was sure Nobara was still awake. 
“Well, well… Finally, someone deigns to call me,” Nobara answered the video call. She had her hair up, a mask on her face and a loose-fitting sleep shirt. She was getting ready to go to sleep, he had caught her at a good time.
“I know, I've been busy,” I replied embarrassed. “But now I'm in the middle of a dilemma.” 
“Oh, finally, some tea!” Nobara replied. 
I told him everything that my heart wanted to let out for months. How tender, mysterious and attractive Choso was and how handsome, strong and disciplined Sukuna is. About how much I wanted to go out with Choso to coffee shops and art museums. About how much I wanted Sukuna to give me a clear sign that he liked me as a girlfriend and not as a hamster he had to protect from hawks. The mixture of love and confusion surprised Nobara with every sentence he blurted out. 
“I like them both, and I have no idea what to do,” I finished my confession. 
“Taylor Swift could write a song about it,” Nobara joked before pulling a cheeto out of the blue bag and eating it. “I don't understand why you're racking your brains when the answer is so obvious.” 
“Is it?” I asked confused. 
“Duh. I'm team Choso to death,” I answered. 
“Why?” 
“Do I really have to say it?” Nobara looked at me as if I was stupid. I just kept quiet. She sighed in exasperation and sat up straight to speak seriously. “Choso is the only one who likes you back, and you really like him too. Sukuna only likes you because you respect him a lot and not because you really want to go out with him,” she replied wisely. 
“I see…” I whispered as I realized it was true. 
When I think of Sukuna, I think of his sportswear, how great he looks boxing and how strong he looks against his opponents, but I also think of the thousands of flaws he has. He is an angry, spoiled and rude man. I could have disciplined Yuuji tonight, but he could become a thousand times worse if he set his mind to it. Even though I felt safe with him, I don't know him like I'd like to.  
“Besides, Sukuna may not be like Naoya, but it sounds like he's similar,” Nobara added. 
“You're right,” I sighed before closing my eyes. 
Since that night, I decided to stay sentimentally away from Sukuna. Every time I saw him, I thought about him with a cold head. I saw beyond my rose-colored glasses that made me drool for him. We still trained, ate and spent time together, but I avoided him at times when we could be completely alone. As the days went by I saw him less as a perfect man and more as a cranky friend. 
A month had passed since then and the big fight against Aoi Todo was just around the corner. The entire team had traveled all the way to Rio de Janeiro for the big night that awaited us. Brazil gave us a warm welcome from the moment we arrived. Paparazzi, fans, and sponsors had been bombarding us with flashing lights and posters to autograph since we arrived at the airport. Team Black had finally arrived to rule the place.
Sukuna tried to go for my face as he did every training session. I evaded him with no trouble to land a hook to the liver that knocked him back a couple of steps. After months of exhaustive training, I had already learned Sukuna's pattern of moves. He always goes for the killing blow first, then low attacks and again, tries to knock me out. It's a pattern that repeats over and over again with a variation that occasionally catches me off guard. 
“Keep your guard up!” Gojo shouted at me from the side of the ring. 
I put my arms up to cover my face better. Yuuji and Nanami were watching us fight with Gojo. We were waiting patiently at the UFC offices to be called for the official weigh-in. We knew perfectly well that Sukuna was at his ideal weight, but we had to find out if Aoi Todo was. Being the heavyweight champion wanting to compete for the light heavyweight title, it meant he had to lose at least 22 pounds for the fight to be held fairly. 
Sukuna sent me to the corner with a single jab. I tried to recover, but he was already on top of me, busting me with punches until I reached my limit. I could only keep my guard up until he got tired and opened a door of opportunity. What I didn't count on was that I got a hook to the tit. 
“Oh, son of a bitch! I screamed in pain while I pushed him to let myself rest for a second. 
“I wanted to hit you in the stomach, but since you are smaller, I didn't hit you where I wanted to,” he explained with an evil smile. “That’s some bullshit,” I thought.  
“Sukuna Ryomen, you can go to the office,” a UFC assistant announced. 
“Saved by the bell,” Sukuna said before taking off his gloves. I flipped him off as I took off one of mine. 
The entire team made their way to the office where the official judges and the referee who would be in charge of the fight were waiting for us. The process was simple. They would just weigh the fighters, recite the official rules to both of them, and we could go back to the hotel to prepare for the weigh-in. We had done this several times before, there was nothing to be surprised about. 
“Hello, Sukuna,” Yuki Tsukumo greeted us with a big smile as soon as we entered the office. 
Sukuna, Yuuji and I froze when we saw her next to Aoi Todo. This had to be a fucking sick joke. She was the coach of our new opponent? This only meant bad news. Sukuna completely ignored her to greet the judges, referee and Todo. 
“Good to see you again, Snake,” Yuki greeted me directly while Aoi was weighed on a professional scale. 
“Why didn't you tell me you were Aoi's coach?” I asked her while the judges were taking the necessary measurements for the data sample. 
“Was I supposed to?” She asked pretending to be confused. 
It was Sukuna's turn. He took off his shirt and shoes to weigh himself. I hated to admit it, but it was an amazing sight. Even though I had seen it several times before, I couldn't get used to it. I tried to look away so that my cupid thoughts wouldn’t take possession of my body. 
“How is your brother?” Yuki asked him to obviously annoy him. Sukuna gave him a whiplash with his gaze for even having the nerve to mention his little brother. 
“He's fine,” I answered for him so he wouldn't get in trouble in front of the judges. “Great, I'd say,” I said with a mischievous smile. 
After the judges recited the rules and both fighters agreed, both teams left the office with a tense air following us closely. Team Black began to leave the scene to return to the hotel after an exhaustive morning training and Todo’s gym went to the gym.  
“I hope we have a good fight!” Todo said to Sukuna while shaking his hand. 
Todo was friendlier than I imagined. He had a nice smile all the time, was kind to everyone and had an overall good vibe, unlike his coach. Now I understood why Toji Fushiguro wanted to leave the stage, so fighters like Sukuna or Todo could shine. Todo's team continued on their way to the gym, but Yuki stayed behind. 
“It's good to see you again, how long has it been since we've seen each other? 2 years?” Yuki asked him, ignoring the rest of her team to focus on Sukuna. She wanted to provoke him, I was sure of that. 
“Why don't you go ahead? I have to talk to her,” I said to Sukuna as I stepped between them to distance them. 
“Don't do anything stupid,” Sukuna whispered to me before walking away from us. 
“I would really appreciate it if you would leave my athlete alone,” I said to Yuki once my team had left the hallway. 
“I don't think it's a sin to want to say hello to him,” she said as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. 
“You know perfectly well that he doesn't want to greet you after what you did,” I said. 
“So he told you. Did you really believe him?” Yuki asked me in disbelief. 
“Well, Sukuna's version makes you look like a gold digger and Choso's version makes you look like a whore, which one do you prefer?” I asked defensively. 
“I thought you would understand me. You know how hard it is to enter this world as a woman. I needed that job,” Yuki explained, making it clear that Sukuna's version of the story was the truth.
I knew better than anyone that the world of mixed martial arts was complicated for a woman to navigate in. There are perverts everywhere, the other fighters don't take you seriously and the coaches are harder on you. It's a world plagued by men who only see you as a small insignificant being, just because you can't compete directly against them. Women fighters have to work twice as hard as men to secure a place in the industry. 
“It's difficult but not impossible. Did you really have to pick on his brother to prove your worth? You only made yourself worse,” I asked, annoyed. 
“How sad to see you've changed, Snake,” Yuki sighed. “Who knew? One day you're on top and the next you're working for an idiot like Sukuna Ryomen. Weren't you supposed to hate fighters like him?” she said before wanting to withdraw from the conversation, but she was very wrong if she thought I would let her have the last word. 
“It's true that I hate fighters with massive egos like him, but I hate people like you even more,” I told him before following the path where my team had gone. 
“People like me?” Yuki wondered. 
“Bad and stupid,” I said without looking back. I hoped my point was clear.
I continued my way until I reached the reception. Sukuna was waiting for me in an armchair with his arms crossed while watching a TV in front of him, while the rest of the team was awaiting us at the van. “I thought he would go with the others.” 
“You didn't need to do that,” he told me once I got close to him. 
“It is, I can't let a piranha get in my pond,” I answered wisely. 
“Did you put her on her place?” Sukuna asked me. 
 “I insulted her in 4 different ways, what do you think?” I joked. 
“Good,” he said before getting up from the sofa. “I need a favor.”
Oh no, not again. It was the day before the fight, so I already knew what he was going to ask me. I wouldn't do it, not even if he threw me all his money. I was finally over him, I couldn't fall back into the void I worked so hard to escape from.
“I'm not going to fuck with you,” I told him directly. 
“I already knew that,” he replied. My eyebrow raised at that answer. 
“Yeah?”
“It's super obvious that you like Choso, and he likes you too,” he answered. I couldn't help but blush knowing that I was acting so obvious around him. “I need you to do me a favor with Yuuji.” 
I hadn't packed any cute outfit for the nightlife in Brazil, so I decided to wear jeans with a black fitted t-shirt, what I was supposed to wear for when we got back home. Sukuna told me that Yuuji loves to travel to Brazil for the food. So he asked me to join him for dinner while he does his good luck ritual with a prostitute Gojo got for him. 
“Are you ready to eat some good cuts of meat? I asked Yuuji coming out of the bathroom we shared. 
“Of course! I hope you have prepared your stomach because we are going to gain 5 pounds after this,” He said excitedly. 
We left the room to head towards the reception. While I was getting ready, he had made a list of all the restaurants he wanted to visit during the afternoon. We would start at a restaurant to eat picanha, then to an eatery to try feijoada, and finally we would look for some place that sold quindim or brigaidero. 
I listened to Yuuji talk about how delicious Brazilian food is as we rode down the elevator. When the doors opened, we were both shocked to see what was on the other side. There was a girl who looked very much like me in a little red fitted dress that left almost nothing to the imagination. She was not my clone exactly, but her hair, skin tone, face shape and body type were similar. We got out of the elevator and she walked in, greeting us in Portuguese.
“She looked just like you,” Yuuji said to me, still in shock. 
“Yeah…” I whispered impressed.
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otomehoneyybearr · 6 hours
Text
Keith VS Kagari
The Beast Tempts the Little Rabbit Episode 1
If I were to head to Jade on an errand to buy books for the owner—
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("Enjoy the seasonal flowers in the flower-viewing event!" ...So that's why it's so lively here.)
Every flower I’d seen was rare, and it filled me with excitement.
(There are so many delicious-looking stalls, and I'm starting to get hungry.)
(I've finished the task the owner asked me to do, so maybe I should just enjoy the event as it is.)
Emma: "Ah...!"
Man: "My bad."
Suddenly, a man running from behind collided with me, causing me to stumble.
Emma: "No, I'm the one who should apologize!"
The man nodded and then hurriedly disappeared into a large mansion along a deserted street.
(I think might have been in the way. I need to be more careful.)
(Huh...?)
I suddenly caught a sweet scent, different from that of flowers, and stopped in my tracks.
Curious, I search for the source of the scent and came across a mobile vendor with a sign that read "DORAYAKI" in large letters.
(Dorayaki is a traditional sweet from Kogyoku, right? I remember Owner made it for me once.)
(It feels strange to see it in Jade.)
My stomach grumbled, expressing its hunger.
(I haven't had it in a while, maybe I should have some.)
Emma: "Excuse me, Could I have one dorayaki, please?"
…..
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???: "One dorayaki, please."
Staff: "Sorry, buddy. The lady there just bought the last one."
Staff: "Come back tomorrow!"
???: "I see, got it."
???: ... Dorayaki.
???: "...Hm?"
......
Emma: (Why is this happening...)
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???: "..."
(Who is this guy?)
Though I was supposed to be enjoying the event, savoring my first dorayaki in a while and strolling through the town,
I now found myself cornered by a man I didn't recognize.
(Could it be that I just don’t remember him...? Despite him being so eye-catching?)
With his fiery red hair tied up, expressionless emerald eyes, and the sweet, yet fleeting scent that enveloped him, there's no way I could forget him.
The man with the emerald eyes, who had been staring at me intently, slowly brought his well-defined face closer.
Emma: "Hey, there's a suspicious person here!"
???: "Suspicious? That's rude. I was just trying to stop you because you started running."
Emma: "Anyone would run if they realize they're being followed."
I try to escape, but he grabs both of my hands and holds them against the wall, blocking my way out.
Silently apologizing in my mind, I kicked the man with the emerald eyes between the legs as hard as I could—or so thought.
???: "If you’re going to do that, create an opening first."
(Huh? This guy is NOT normal.)
In an instant, the man with the emerald eyes tangled his leg around mine, thwarting my movement.
Words of desperation raced through my mind.
???: " Also, your gaze dropped too low. What good does it do to let your opponent know that your next move is to kick them?"
Emma: "S-sorry?"
(No, wait, why am I being coach right now?)
???: "More importantly, did you forget something?"
Emma: "Huh? Forgotten something...?"
???: "What are you doing?"
(That voice...!)
I turn my face towards the familiar, low, calm voice.
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Standing there like a godsend is Prince Keith, the first prince of Jade.
Back when he visited Rhodolite as a royal guest while I was serving as a Belle to select the next king,
I remember being comforted and saved many times by his sincere and boundless kindness, despite his lack of confidence.
(But, Prince Keith has a secret that he can't tell anyone...)
Prince Keith cautiously closes the distance between us.
The usual gentle and calm atmosphere fades away, and is replaced by a glare towards the man with the emerald eyes.
Keith: "I heard your voice and came here. You, move away from her."
(I’m saved...)
Emma & ???:
"Prince Keith..."
"Keith, huh?"
(... Huh?)
Keith: "Huh? Kagari? And Emma?!
(Kagari...? Does that mean he knows Prince Keith?)
Keith: "Why are you two in Jade...? No, more importantly, why are you in such a position...?"
Keith looks back and forth between me and the man with the emerald eyes, and suddenly begins waving his hands in a flustered manner.
His cheeks seem to be slightly flushed… I have a bad feeling about this.
Keith: "I'm sorry, I had no idea you two were acquainted like that, I... I... I've interfered."
(I knew it, he did misunderstand!)
Keith: "Just ignore me like the annoying weed I am."
Keith: "Or rather, I should disappear as soon as possible, right? Uh, um, best of luck to you both!"
Emma: "Wait, Prince Keith, it's a misunderstanding. Please help me!"
Keith: "Huh?"
...
Emma: "I'm sorry for calling you a suspicious person when you were just trying to return my wallet."
In a café—after the waiter finished taking our orders and left, I immediately bowed deeply as if grabbing onto the table.
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Kagari: "It's fine, raise your head."
Keith: "Kagari?"
Kagari: "Sorry for trailing you and cornering you against the wall."
Kagari: "If there's ever a next time, I'll call out to you even if you're eating dorayaki."
Emma: "Ah, so that's why you didn't call out immediately. Thank you for your consideration."
Keith: "Even after all that... Emma, you're truly a generous woman. Thank you."
After showing a relieved expression on his face, Prince Keith clears his throat softly.
Keith: "Now that the misunderstanding is cleared up, let me properly introduce him."
Keith: "This is Kagari Amagase, the second prince of Kogyoku."
Keith: "Jade and Kogyoku have had exchanges since ancient times, so Kagari and I have known each other since childhood."
Emma: "I see!"
(That's why their interaction seemed so relaxed, like they're comfortable with each other.)
Keith: "If I remember correctly, wasn't it when the king had you brought from Kogyoku to train me, Kagari?"
Kagari: "Yeah. You had spirit, but you were surprisingly weak."
(I've seen Keith training with Licht before, so it's hard to imagine him being weak.)
Keith: "Those hellish training sessions were unique, both then and now."
Keith: "Those memories are nostalgic..."
From his wry smile, I could tell the training had been extremely harsh.
Keith: "In return for the training, I taught Kagari about medicinal herbs."
Kagari: "Kogyoku is always bustling with injured people, so knowledge of medicinal herbs comes in handy."
(Kogyoku is still a country constantly at war.)
(And Kagari is also feared as a demon.)
From appearances alone, you wouldn't guess it, but his expressionless emerald eyes reflect nothing, which made him a bit intimidating.
Keith: "Kagari, this is Emma, a friend I met in Rhodolite."
Keith: "I know it might sound presumptuous for a giant guy like me to call someone like you my friend."
Emma: "If anything, I might be the presumptuous one. But I'm glad you consider me a friend, Prince Keith."
Keith: "R-really? That's... I'm glad."
His shy smile made me smile in return.
(Prince Keith always brings comfort no matter the situation.)
Kagari: "Rhodolite... Ah."
Kagari: "So that sweet scent earlier was the smell of roses. They bloom year-round there."
Kagari: "Cherry blossoms also bloom all year round in Crimson Palace. We're like flower buddies."
Emma: "Right, I guess so."
Keith: "Oh, that sounds nice. Since Jade is also abundant in nature, maybe we could join the club?"
Kagari: "If you join, it'll be more like being plant buddies than flower buddies."
Keith: "That suddenly took away the cuteness... It's sad, but I'll decline joining."
(Prince Keith seems quite disappointed...)
Waiter: "Sorry for the wait."
(Wow...)
The waiter leaves, and I glance at the table.
In front of me is a mille-feuille, in front of Prince Keith is a thick galette with various flavors to enjoy,
And in front of Kagari is a stack of dorayaki.
(I thought the "Dorayaki Tower" was just a joke of a name, but it's quite literal.)
Emma: "I never imagined there would be such whimsical sweets in Jade."
Keith: "The pastry chef here is from Kogyoku, you see. They put it on the secret menu at Kagari's request."
Emma: "I see... What a thoughtful gesture."
Kagari: "Thank you for the food."
After saying a silent prayer, Kagari begins to slice the dorayaki with a knife and quietly starts eating.
His flawless eating style mesmerized me, as he maintained a perfect balance even though it looks like it might collapse at any moment.
Kagari: "Princess."
Emma: "Huh? Princess? Did you mean me—ugh!"
Keith: "..."
In the blink of an eye, the dorayaki is stuffed into my mouth.
Despite feeling flustered, the gentle sweetness of the red bean paste spreads in my mouth as I chew.
Kagari: "Which do you prefer, the dorayaki you had from the mobile vendor or this one?"
Emma: "I, I like them both. By the way, the dorayaki I had was also with smooth red bean paste."
Kagari: "......I'll buy some tomorrow."
(Maybe they were sold out, and he couldn't have any.)
(Kagari is... unpredictable in both thought and action.)
Keith: "Dorayaki is highly effective for Kagari, so it's good to remember just in case something happens."
Emma: "Understood. I'll make sure to remember it well."
Keith: "Right. Emma told us why she came to Jade earlier, but what about you, Kagari?"
Kagari: "I’m searching for someone."
▼・ᴥ・▼
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d3adlyromb3ar · 9 hours
Text
✩ ‧₊˚ ✩。devil, meet angel
— pairing. choso x fem!reader
— synopsis. you were sent to exorcize him. upon meeting him, you can’t bring yourself to go through with it.
— word count. 2.2k
— warnings. angst, self hate, mental health issues, mentions of death, fluff, hurt/comfort, jjk violence, injuries, slight gore, suicidal ideation, choso just being a sweet boy we love him
main masterlist
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You didn’t know what to think of him as he sat from afar, playing checkers with himself. It was both confusing and intriguing, and it pulled you closer towards him. Footsteps quiet and calculated.
If you were anything— it was stealthy. You could come and go as if you were never there, undetected like a ghost. Perhaps that’s how you got the nickname.
The Ghost.
His pale skin glowed, the porcelain like surface perfect— no flaws to be seen. The intricate markings among his face, complimenting the dark purple bags under his eyes. In an odd way— he was quite beautiful. Too beautiful to be a curse.
Almost as if he sensed you, his head slowly raised from the board and his eyes locked with yours.
The sudden realization that you had been caught watching— you felt glued to your spot. Staying as incredibly still— hoping you’d blend in with your environment. But at last, his eyebrows furrowed and his eyes squinted upon your watchful gaze.
You were prepared to exorcize him, energy pulsing beneath your palms— the buzzing sensation itching to release. With calculated steps, you inched closer to the man.
Your first step had his eyes squinting even more, his expression mostly unchanging.
Why was I approaching this curse? I should exorcize it immediately— no questions. You thought.
Keeping your steps even and slow— you had made it closer to him. Standing a good ten feet away. Looking into his eyes, now that you were closer— you were shocked to find such emotion within them.
You weren’t even sure if he knew how expressive his eyes were.
Swallowing nervously all of a sudden, you raised your chin— false confidence.
“You know why I’m here.” You started.
Somewhere in the back of your mind wondered why you were creating small talk with something you were meant to exorcize. Maybe it was simply a way to make exorcising curses more interesting— or perhaps it was the way he didn’t show any signs to fight.
The man looked you up and down, his face stuck on a neutral— almost bored expression. But his eyes, they spoke for him.
“Guess I do.” He responded, his voice low and gravelly.
You felt an awkward tug at your chest— unsure of what more to say. Unsure if you should exorcize him without another word.
“Just like that? Thought you’d at least put up a fight.” You wondered out loud.
Your words had the man tilting his head, the checkers forgotten below him as he stood suddenly. His height making itself know, the distinct difference— that if he were to approach you now— he’d be towering over you.
“Why bother… at last I’ll be with my brothers.” He revealed.
His words were shocking, very human of him. It had your chest aching with hurt. Hurt for him.
“Your… your brothers?” You wondered, already having a suspicion.
The man closed his eyes for a moment before opening them to stare you down. His jaw set, his eyes furious but broken.
“They’re dead, because of your friends.” He spoke carefully.
Your heart throbbed painfully in your chest, the shame filling your body as you began to beat yourself up for something you didn’t do. But you couldn’t help but feel at fault.
The man noticed the twitch in her brow, the way her mouth turned down from his words. Her reaction was intriguing to him— wondering why she was taking so long to end him once and for all.
Loss was something you knew well— an unfortunate feeling that lingered amongst your entire life. It was only natural to feel for others that had to experience it as well. Which was why you found yourself speaking your next words to him.
“I’m sorry.”
The man stared at you in confusion, studying your expression. He was slightly disgusted to find your reaction genuine. But why?
“Wh-what…” He trailed off.
You closed your hands into fists, trying to restrain the energy you had previously built up. Desperate to bury it within you until it deem useful.
“Your brothers. I’m sorry you had to lose them.” You spoke quietly, unsure if you had a place to be sorry for him.
His eyes narrowed at you, his own hands tightening into fists now. But as you gazed upon him, and took in his body language— you still could not find any aggression.
Meanwhile, the man was confused why you— a sorcerer— was sending him your condolences. Was it confusion he felt within him, or was it appreciation?
That would be twisted— apologizing for something your friends were at fault of. He wanted to think, but couldn’t find it in himself to.
He could only nod in thanks, choosing he to stay silent as he got lost in his own thoughts. All surrounding you.
Suddenly, the guilt sensation began to wash over you in such a way you felt physically dirty. Your skin itched— your hands clammy as you kept them squeezed tight. The realization of what you were about to do— to someone who was mourning. Someone who clearly wasn’t exactly a curse. It was only the same reminder you’d get after every mission.
Who was the real monster?
You shivered with the thought that echoed loudly within you, and you held an opened hand to your chest. In hopes your heart would slow.
The man just watched, his eyes drinking in the scene before him. Wondering why you were in such a distraught state all of a sudden. It was the concern that bubbled within him, that had him clenching his jaw.
You turned and began to walk away, not uttering another word as you just needed to escape to hiding.
“Where are you going…” He muttered, loud enough for you to hear.
He knew you did, with how your body tensed and slowed their steps. Luckily, you turned to the side, able to look him in the eye.
“Forget that this ever happened. I never saw you, you never saw me.” You explained, voice shaky.
The man looked at you in confusion, in disbelief that you were sparing him— letting him live another day. That same foreign feeling washes through him, and suddenly his gaze was softening.
“I don’t understand.” He wondered out loud again.
You shook your head, forcing a smile that didn’t reach your eyes.
“You don’t need to.” You said lately, before turning away from him again.
This time you didn’t turn back around, and you kept walking with hurried steps until you found yourself crouched in a dark alley. Allowing the guilt to finally begin to eat away at you.
A part of you enjoyed this hell— a part of you feeling like you deserved such pain.
Meanwhile, Choso was trying to understand your reaction. He was hellbent on figuring out why you left, allowing him to live.
What a strange girl you are. He thought.
The small interaction between you and the man replayed in your mind. Causing you to be more distracted than usual, causing you to doubt your abilities— your purpose as a sorcerer. As of lately, it didn’t feel right. Exorcising curses didn’t feel satisfying.
Your mind wasn’t in the right place, and that’s how you ended up crawling away from the destruction of the battle. Bleeding out as you had let the curse you just exorcised, get the jump on you.
With agonizing pain, you eventually crawled your way far enough from the damage. Letting your form lean back against a brick wall. It was then you could assess yourself.
The open wound on your side was the most painful, the harsh throbbing— the sensation of the blood oozing out. It had you sweating, chest rising and falling quickly in attempts to stay conscious. You could feel the left side of your face start to burn, raising fingers to trace the outline of a cut. Starting from just above your eyebrow, dipping straight through the hairs and stopping just near your eye.
You hissed as your fingers pressed too hard on a tender spot.
Your body felt weak, exhausted as it racked up all the minor cuts and bruises— the weight of your injuries causing your eyes to droop.
This was it? Where was my phone? I should probably call for help. You thought helplessly.
Through all the pain, the questions that flew through your mind— one thought stuck out the most.
Maybe I deserved to die.
It was a sick way to be thinking, knowing how selfish it would be to give up now. People needed saving, they needed your help. But it felt impossible to find strength— any strength to keep your eyes open.
Your hand stayed tightly pressed against the wound on your side, desperate to keep the blood from oozing for however long you could. Your eyes were unfocused and staring at the ground.
There was no worse way to die, than dying alone.
Before you could drown in that thought, footsteps were heard approaching. Immediately you tensed up, glancing up quickly at your attacker.
Your breath got caught in your throat at the sight of… him again.
The same man who had taken up your headspace.
During your shock at seeing him, Choso gave himself a moment to study you. You were obviously hurt and in pain, your body battered to a pulp. He couldn’t understand why he felt so bad for you— someone who almost killed him.
You couldn’t help but stay tense, feeling like a cornered animal— waiting for your predator to attack. But as before, the man made no indication that he was going to hurt you. Instead, he squatted down in front of you— not missing the way you flinched back at his sudden closeness.
“You’re hurt.” He stated, as if it wasn’t obvious.
You couldn’t find it in yourself for a snarky comeback, not when you felt this defeated.
“W-why? What are yo- I—”
“You’re hurt, allow me to help you.” He interrupted your babbling.
Your eyes were painted in confusion, your features twisting into uncertainty. Everything about this didn’t feel right, you should’ve pushed him away and allow yourself to die instead. But you couldn’t control the way your body relaxed, your head bowing in submission.
“My name is Choso. What’s yours?” He asked, his hands ripping a part of your jacket off, creating a long bandage like strand.
You swallowed, taking a deep breath in before responding.
“I-It’s (Y/n).” You rasped out, the taste of iron coating your tongue suddenly.
Choso snuck a quick glance to you at the reveal of your name. (Y/n)… he quickly realized he liked it.
He gently snuck the jacket strand behind the dip of your lower back, tying it tightly around your wound. The sensation had you whining, teeth digging into your bottom lip as you tried to conceal your cries. The pain had washed over your body with such intensity, you felt like you were going to faint.
“Please, keep your eyes open.” He instructed, moving his attention from your side to the cut on your face.
Without realizing it, he was letting his fingers caress around the wound. You gasped at the feeling, the pads of his fingers rough in texture— but he brushed over your skin with such delicacy.
“Why are you helping m-me?” You rasped out, coughing from the tightness of your lungs.
Choso let his eyes drop from your cut to your eyes, gazing into yours with confusion. Mainly because he wasn’t quite sure why he was helping you— he just knew he had to.
“I don’t know.” He answered truthfully.
You furrowed your brows, but couldn’t dwell on his words too long— not when your body seized and twitched for a moment. This particular wave of pain hitting you harder than the rest.
Choso watched you with an intensity in his eyes, and he almost grew distracted by another unfamiliar sensation in his chest. Concern? For this sorcerer?
“I don’t deserve your help… but thank you.” You whispered, body slowly relaxing after the pain subsided for now.
“You spared me. Call this me, returning the favor.” He stated.
Although, he wasn’t sure if that was the main reason why he was saving you.
You attempted to shoot him a weak smile, but when he noticed a drop of blood escaping from the corner of your lips— he couldn’t find it in himself to return the gesture.
“Well… I appreciate it.” You mumbled out.
Choso could sense you losing consciousness, and he knew he had to get you more medical attention. He wasn’t going to let you die here— not today.
As your eyes finally dropped, your body slumping with fatigue— Choso didn’t waste another second. He scooped up your fragile form, carrying you bridal style to find some help.
His steps were quick and rushed, the sight of you laying in his arms causing another sensation to bloom in his chest. You looked so peaceful. So… pretty— like an angel. He found it odd for him to think such things.
All he knew was that the next thought he had, was leaving him the most confused he’d ever been.
He never wanted to let you out of his sight again.
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— ending notes. this was in my drafts for awhile, and it’s just something random i wrote. had a dream similar to this 😇☁️ also apologies for any spelling mistakes!
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earthtoharlow · 3 days
Text
Don’t Like The Lights
Sequel to Flashing Lights series, must read Flashing Lights first to understand
Series Masterlist
2. Pulling Me Back
Every time I try to leave something keeps pulling me back, telling me I need you in my life.
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Maryse sat in her car parked outside Jack’s house, her fingers nervously tapping against the steering wheel. She glanced up at the front door, her heart pounding. It had been days since they ran into each other at the studio, and now she was finally mustering up the courage to ring the doorbell.
Taking a deep breath, Maryse got out of her car and walked to the front door. She reached out and pressed the button, the sound echoing through the quiet neighborhood. As she waited, her mind raced with thoughts of what awaited her on the other side of the door. Would they be able to pick up where they left off? Or had too much time passed for them to salvage what they once had?
Before she could dwell on it further, the door swung open, and there Jack stood, a mixture of surprise and joy flickering across his face. “Hey,” he said, his voice warm and inviting. “I didn’t expect to see you here so early.”
Maryse smiled nervously as her cheeks warmed. “Hey,” she replied, her voice barely above a whisper. “Yeah, uh…I couldn’t wait,” she admitted, “I’ve been thinking a lot lately, about us, about everything.”
Jack’s expression softened as he nodded, understanding dawning in his eyes. “Me too.” He admitted, stepping aside to let her in. As she crossed the threshold, he closed the door behind her.
As she followed behind Jack she couldn’t help but look around his new place. She also couldn’t help but notice the minimal decor adorning the walls. It struck her that there were no personal touches, no signs of another person. She wondered if it meant he was still single.
They both sat on the couch, Maryse shifted uncomfortably, stealing glances at Jack, who seemed equally uneasy.
“Look I’m…
“Jack…”
They couldn’t help but both laugh at the silliness of speaking at the same time, the moment breaking the tension that filled the room.
“Sorry, you go first,” Jack said, a faint smile playing on his lips.
“No, you,” Maryse insisted, her eyes searching for a sign of what he was thinking.
Jack takes a deep breath, his eyes locked on Maryse as he begins “I need you to know that I didn’t cheat on you. My ex… she kissed me. I swear, I was pushing her away when you walked in. I know it probably looked bad, but I would never do that to you.” He pauses, his expression pleading for her to believe him.
Maryse listened to Jack ramble about that night. She knew the whole story, Urban had called her the following morning after the night out at the club explaining everything to her. Deep down she knew that Jack would never do that to her and even though she missed him dearly during those lonely nights, she knew that the time apart had been necessary for her growth and self-discovery.
“I’ve been beating myself up over it ever since. I know I should have handled it better, but I froze. I froze because all I could think about was you, and how much I didn’t want to hurt you.”
Maryse reaches out and places a hand on his arm, a gentle gesture to comfort him. “I know, it’s okay. I believe you.” She says softly, her eyes meeting his. “I know you would never intentionally hurt me.”
“A little birdy actually filled me in on what happened months ago,” she begins, her voice steady but filled with vulnerability. “I guess I was just too scared to reach out again because everything seemed so broken, beyond repair.”
“Urban?” Jack asks, a hint of amusement in his tone.
Maryse nods, a small smile playing at the corners of her lips. “Yeah, Urban,” she confirms, her gaze meeting his. “He told me what happened that night, and I realized that I didn’t even give you a chance to explain yourself…”
She pauses before taking a deep breath, her heart pounding nervously. “Now it’s my turn to apologize,” she says softly, her voice filled with sincerity. “I’m sorry for making it seem like I didn’t see a future with you, because the truth is, I do. I think I always did. And I’m sorry it took me so long to reach out. I needed time to process everything and figure out what I really wanted.” Maryse watched as Jack’s eyes softened, a flicker of emotion passing across his face.
“I know I messed up.” continues, her voice trembling slightly. “But I love you and I know, for the rest of my life, I won’t stop loving you, ever, because you were meant to be with me. I’ll spend the rest of my life proving that to you.”
A wide grin spreads across Jack’s face when he heard Maryse say she loved him, his eyes shining with joy and excitement. Without hesitation, he pulls her into him, wrapping his arms around her in a tight embrace. With a gentle yet urgent tone, he whispers, “What did you just say?”
“Huh?”
“Tell me you love me.”
Maryse’s heart swells with love as she looks into his eyes, seeing the depth of emotion reflected back at her. “I love you,” she says softly, her voice filled with tenderness.
Jack smile widens at her words, and he leans in closer, his lips hovering just inches from hers. “Say it again,” he murmurs, his breath warm against her skin.
“I love you,” Maryse tells him with even more conviction than before.
Without another moment’s hesitation, Jack closes the distance between them, capturing her lips in a kiss. They poured all of their love and affection into the embrace.
As they finally pulled away, he looked into her eyes with an expression of pure adoration. “I love you more.” he whispers, his voice husky with emotion.
Tears of happiness prick at her eyes as she gazes back at him, overwhelmed by the depth of their connection. “Not possible.” Maryse replies, her voice trembling with emotion.
They sat in silence tangled in each other's arms and for the first time in months, they felt relaxed and happy. Maryse felt a sense of gratitude for the journey that had brought her to this moment. She was ready to embrace the future and spend the rest of her life with Jack.
“I have something else to tell you,” Maryse begins, her voice filled with nervousness.
Jack looks at her, curiosity evident in his eyes. “What is it?” he asks, leaning in closer to her.
“I broke my lease,” she confesses, her words hanging in the air between them.
Jack’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, and he leans back slightly, processing her revelation. “You broke your lease?” he repeats, in disbelief.
Maryse takes a deep breath, gathering her courage as she continues. “I was wondering… if the offer to move in with you is still available?” she asks, her voice barely above a whisper.
For a moment, there’s silence between them as they both process her question. Then, Jack's face breaks into a wide grin, his eyes shining with joy.
“Of course it’s still available,” he says, his voice filled with excitement.
With a mischievous grin, Jack scoops Maryse up effortlessly, lifting her over his shoulder as she squeals with laughter. “Hey, what are you doing?” she protests playfully, her laughter bubbling over.
“We have a lot of making up to do, and we need to celebrate!” he replies with a wink, his tone playful.
Maryse giggles, feeling a rush of excitement coursing through her veins. “And where exactly are you taking me?” she teases, wrapping her arms around his waist.
“To our soon-to-be shared bedroom,” he declares with a grin, his steps purposeful as he carries her through the house
She laughs, the sound echoing through the air as they make their way down the hallway.
***
AN: PARADE INSIDE MY CITY YEAAAAH shorter chapter but our bbs are happy and back together 🙂‍↕️ thank you for all the love on the last chapter and this series as a whole I appreciate it so much 🫶
Tag List:
(message me if you'd like to be added or removed)
@heavyhitterheaux @hoodharlow @neon-lights-and-glitter @babiefries @jackmans-poison @dstark-0706 @harlowsbby @itsyagirljaz @leftapricotprofessorlover @toocriticalharlow @minkookie95 @harlowcomehome @jackharloww @jaydaaasworld @kkrenae @hufflewhore128 @w1ldthoughts @jackiehollanderr @katiaw2 @halfmoondaze @babybardi2 @daphnescorner @angelluv444
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actually crying over this interaction katara has in my fic on kyoshi island where she realizes how nice it is to have girlfriends
⁎⁺˳ ✧༚ ˎˊ˗ ♡ ˗ˏˋയ ✩
“Guess what your brother’s up to…” Ayiti was beaming, barely holding back her laughter now.
“Spirits, I’m not sure I even want to know.” Katara rolled her eyes, carefully curling up the centuries old paper in front of her and tucking it alongside the others in her cloth satchell. “What, did he accidentally get a sword stuck in some important monument after bragging to some poor unassuming villager about his swordsmanship?”
“Better.” Ayiti’s eyes flashed with amusement as she settled into the plush stool opposite Katara. She reached forward, hands resting on the varnished wooden table as her elegantly almond shaped nails drummed rhythmically in anticipation. “I missed his grand entrance, but apparently, he’s been set on helping us poor, untrained Kyoshi warriors! He pranced his way in, going on and on about how he’s the best warrior in his tribe. I got there just in time to see Suki wipe the floor with him.”
Katara groaned in embarrassment, burying her head in her hands as she slumped against the table. 
“No, no, you don’t need to be too embarrassed for him.” Ayiti rested a comforting hand on Katara’s arm as the Water tribe girl looked up, her scepticism apparent in her expression. “He was actually pretty sweet after Suki humbled him. He said he was ready to learn, that he had been overly cocky when he came in.”
Katara wrinkled her nose. “That doesn’t sound like the Sokka I know.”
“We were surprised too! He let us paint his face in the traditional style of Kyoshi warriors, even put on the armoured gown too!” Ayiti giggled again, remembering. “Although he was a little embarrassed when Aang saw him in it. I think Sokka interpreted Aang’s attempt to compliment him as Aang poking a little fun at him.”
“What’s Aang been up to, anyways?” Katara tried to make the question seem thoughtless, throwing in a shrug to accompany her words, but Ayiti’s shrewd expression saw right through her. 
“Wouldn’t you like to know!” She crooned, a teasing grin on her face. “C’mon, you’ve gotta get your mind off of the Avatar, and you’ve had your nose buried in scrolls the whole day. Let me show the future Waterbending master around my little old village.”
Ayiti helped Katara gather the rest of the scrolls and drop them off in the guesthouse, then dragged her between the different stalls, chattering animatedly. Katara had never really gotten to have a girlfriend her age, and she couldn’t believe all that she’d missed out on. For once, she felt her age. Back home, she took care of so many of the village kids whose parents had been lost to fire nation raids. She felt like it was her responsibility, that it was the least she could do, and she did enjoy it.
But perhaps she hadn’t quite grasped what it had taken out of her.
For every hour Sokka spent hunting for food and training to be a warrior, Katara spent parenting children, washing laundry, cooking, cleaning, repairing homes and weapons. She wished for maybe the millionth time that she and her brother had been able to have proper childhoods, present parents to lift that burden from them. She remembered Aang reminding her that she still was a kid. 
Here, walking around the market with Ayiti, she slipped into conversation excitedly, the two’s conversation oscillating between mentions of what the war had taken from them and more lighthearted teasing, and she was beyond grateful for the simplicity of a friend who saw her. 
⁎⁺˳ ✧༚ ˎˊ˗ ♡ ˗ˏˋയ ✩
♥ this will be coming out along with the rest of ch4 on wednesday! check out the first three chapters of this (ongoing) fic & my ao3 here! ->
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bearw-me · 1 day
Note
This is kinda dark so if you don't wanna do it it's cool. Can I request Carmilla running into a son reader? [Years before she had her daughters she had a son but she was too strict/serious on her boy which led to him...taking his own life. The experience made Carmilla realize she mightve been too hard on him so when hid sisters come around she showers them with love] The reader thinks carmilla is going to scold him, scream at him or anything but she just hugs him hard and tells him she's sorry and that she loves him
i'd like to put my author's note up here before you guys read what i wrote/make a little disclaimer!
TW: mentions of harm
I wouldn't write the act, per-se, but i had absolutely no problem with your request because it doesn't really involve those details (fic wise) this one is mostly about comfort and a nice reunion!
just before you go, know your best-friend mal is always here for you <3 this and every other fic i write is my silent love-letter to you
𝐍𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐋𝐞𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐆𝐨 — 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐚 𝐂𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐞
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𐐒 includes : carmilla carmine x son!reader, odette, clara 𐐒 cw : angst, hugs, kisses, comfort 𐐒 summary : after a few decades in hell, you decide it's time to stop putting it aside and visit your mother for the first time since you've appeared in hell. as anxious as you are, she receives your visit with open arms. 𐐒 word count : 1.1 k
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The metal body of the cab rattled against the broken highway, the sights of Pentagon city flashing past you in a pink florescent blur. You sighed, slumping into the leather seats.
Were you really doing this?
The thought made your stomach bubble with new found nerves. Rolling and wrenching the muscles in your stomach so hard you suddenly had to lean forward in your seat. Forced to stare at all the dust and garbage littered about the floor.
"Oh god I'm gonna be sick," you mumbled to yourself.
"Don't throw up in my car kid," the driver growled at you, suddenly adjusting his rearview mirror so that he could keep an eye on you.
You tried not to roll your eyes, taking a quick glance out of the window just in time to witness the change in districts.
"Might wanna keep your head down kid! We're in Carmine's district now," he laughed, a hoarse sound filled with cigarette smoke.
You had never actually been in this part of hell. After all these years you've been here, watching as the districts had shifted between hands in the great soul exchange. . .
All those years until you realized she had fallen here just like you.
And you didn't really know how to process that thought just yet.
The once chaotic district was now more silent.
Shadows skulking between buildings and alleyways, making deals to sell weapons and bartering for money.
You grimaced, opting to let those images blur in your mind and let your head fall against the rattling window.
What possessed you to see your mother after all these year? Who knows. . .
It just felt like it had to be done.
Soon, the tall white building had come into view, a place you heard the overlords of hell met up.
And today, Carmilla would be here, same with your-. . .
Odette and Clara.
You stepped out of the cab, soles hitting the pavement with a tap. You paid what you owed to the driver and waved a quick thanks as he sped off, the devil on his heels.
That left you alone, standing like David against Goliath with the empire she had built.
She's. . . kept herself busy.
It's all you could think about. Staring at the gleaming tiles of the building with hesitance.
What would she say to you? Should you have told her you were coming? That you were here?
The sickness that seemed to be plaguing you had come back in waves.
The last time you had remembered seeing her, you were both alive on Earth, screaming at each others faces.
"One day, mi hijo, you will have to do everything for yourself! You will have to take over the business! YOU have to carry all that burdens us and I NEED you to be ready for that! Why can't you just see that! I won't always be here for you! YOU NEED TO STEP UP TO THIS!"
But. . .
You just couldn't do everything she had wanted of you. The standards, the rules, the burden. . . it was all too heavy for one person to carry.
And now here you were, on the white-waiting room couch unannounced.
To sayy. . . what exactly?
You bit at your nails in thought, leg bouncing up and down as you waited for your name to be called.
It was pretty empty today.
No one was really sitting in here with you.
That was a great thought.
A deep, strung-out exhale shook its way out of your lungs.
Nerves, you figured.
You didn't even know what to do with your hands, running them through your hair and rocking back and forth in your seat, wondering if it was too late to just stand up and leave-
"Um. . ." You stopped completely, turning your head towards the sound of your voice.
Just before the office doors, two small sinners stood side by side, holding a clipboard up to their faces as they eyed you with surprise.
Odette and Clara.
There was no mistaking them.
"That's. . . me?" You rose from your seat like a ghost, not really feeling anything but utter surprise.
It was the first time you've ever seen them. The same cream colored hair, the same eyes, they even stood en pointe like her.
Odette and Clara.
"Come with us," Clara beckoned, her curly hair and grey skin. . . did she look like that too? Now that she was a sinner?
Thank goodness the girls turned away from you quickly, giving you just enough time to wipe a stray tear from your eye. Estranged siblings that you've never even met. . . and you were so full of emotion at just the sight of them.
Did they know who you were?
You watched them wearily, the two exchanging quick glances at each other and occasionally, at you.
"She's right in here," Clara trailed off.
Odette glanced at you through her round glasses, a hint of worry lifting her eyebrows up "She wasn't expecting you today."
"Alright," you shrugged. I mean, it was a fact you already knew, but to hear the two of them say it to you was the final slap of reality you weren't sure you entirely needed.
The two of them opened the doors for you, watching intently as you shuffled into the room, and back at each other incredulously.
"Ay dios mio, I said I didn't have time for meetings. . ." you heard her mumble, face covered by a laptop screen, hunched over and lost in her work.
It was how you remembered her.
"Mamá," you called out, finally taking a seat in front of her desk, unsure of who or what you'd find on the other side of that screen.
With that one word, she froze still, a pair of demonic red eyes peering over the top of that silver screen.
"Mamá," you said again, a choked sound now that you realized it was her.
It was actually her.
A sinner, your mother, an overlord, who was finally before you.
It was like all the things you had planned on telling her had thrown themselves together and crumbled beneath the sight of her.
"Mi hijo."
"Mamá, I know you're mad at me," the tears came without warning, and you shuffled uncomfortably in your seat, unable to keep looking at her as the sobs wracked through your body, pleading for her forgiveness "I tried my best! I tried! I-"
"Mi hijo, I'm so sorry," your mother flew into your arms, the familiarity of her love so striking that you became undone in her arms.
She cried into your neck, a sound you've never heard before "Oh mi hijo, no heavens could ever keep me away from you, never, and I and never letting you go again,"
"I love you mi hijo."
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asimplearchivist · 2 days
Text
𝓕𝓲𝓻𝓼𝓽 𝓚𝓲𝓼𝓼
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𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐑𝐘 𝐕𝐈 𝐨𝐟 𝐗𝐗𝐕
[𝓪𝓼𝓲𝓶𝓹𝓵𝓮𝓪𝓻𝓬𝓱𝓲𝓿𝓲𝓼𝓽'𝓼 𝓶𝓪𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓵𝓲𝓼𝓽] [ 𝐌𝐎𝐎𝐍 𝐊𝐍𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐏𝐎𝐒𝐓 ] AO3 | SPOTIFY | PINTEREST summary ☾ ⤏ there was no possible way that you could have romantic feelings for steven. right? pairing(s) ☽ steven grant/reader-centric | constellations!verse word count ☾ 4.1k a/n ☽ ⤏ my sixth entry for the moon knight bingo hosted by @juneknight and @spacecowboyhotch over at @moonknight-events. I will eventually crosspost this to the main fic for constellations on ao3 when it will best fit the chronological progression of the chapters. this takes place post-chapter ii. ⤏ trying to resist the urge to tell myself this is repetitive. had to cut it off there or else it would’ve been way too long. ☽ MASTERPOST ☾ ☾ PREVIOUS ENTRY ⤎ ☥ ⤏ NEXT ENTRY [TBA] ☽
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You’re going to give us an ulcer if you keep this up—and I, for one, do not want to have to chug that wretched pink shit for the next few weeks.
“Hush,” Steven muttered, glancing towards the window next to him to level his host with a dark glare, but he was distracted by the skewed angle of the lapel lying haphazardly across his clavicle. He frowned in concentration as he readjusted it and smoothed it back down to rights with a clammy, trembling palm. “You’re not helpin’.”
Marc’s brow was furrowed, arms folded tightly over his chest, appearing rather dour to be mirroring the pressed, brightly patterned shirt and light slacks he’d talked Steven into wearing—Marc’s canvas jacket suited the look as well as the stormy weather, although Steven’s insistence on wearing his favorite dress shoes was the one concession that the alter was unwilling to sacrifice.
Marc had argued with him for nearly ten minutes not to wear the suit coat for just a quick bite before returning to the flat, and Steven had only relented once he’d realized that you’d still be wearing your casual clothes since he was picking you up from work. He knew that you liked to dress up, too, if he made the effort to do so, and that you grew a little self-conscious if you looked ‘frumpy’ (although, in his opinion, you never looked anything short of stunning—even with dust smudged on your cheek from the shop’s prolific collection of old books, espresso splattered all across your sleeves, or ink smeared on your hands after your long days spent working and studying), so he’d sooner invest in your comfort than to preen at your expense.
…Not that he was trying to preen or anything. You just made him feel like the biggest catch this side of the Thames, for once in his life—and while he would never willingly admit it, Steven liked the idea of showing off a bit for you. His nerves and insecurities still got the best of him every now and again, but most of the time your adoring gaze and easy smiles served an invaluable salve for his fretful tendencies.
He liked to look nice for you—liked the way you’d give him that lingering once-over out of the corner of your eye like you didn’t think he’d notice it. Depending on the colors he wore, he could elicit varying intensities of a reaction; the studious side of him was fascinated with how soft shades of blue kept your gaze trained on the contrast of the collar and his neck, whereas deeper jewel tones of crimson and juniper drew your stare further up to his unkempt curls and eyes. Trim slacks and khakis caused lingering glances towards his legs and posterior, if he happened to have his back turned to you. If he took off his coat, you’d peek at the silhouettes of his arms and shoulders under the pressed cotton. If his sleeves ever happened to be rolled up, you blatantly and openly gawked at the muscles flexing in his forearms and the articulation of tendons in his hands—that flustered him more than anything else.
You weren’t shy about telling him that you found him attractive, either. Although he was still growing accustomed to your consistent sprinkling of compliments—each as sincere, as meaningful, and as thoughtful as the last—he appreciated your earnesty beyond any thanks he could express with simple words. He stood taller in your presence, didn’t stoop or hunch to make himself appear smaller; he didn’t stutter as much, and he spoke with confidence and ease even when launching into his infamous tangents and drawing skeptical glances from strangers; he even found it getting easier, over time, to flirt with you in return, learning that you grew flustered when he gave you half-lidded looks or shivered when he lowered his voice into a murmur near your ear (although he wouldn’t have noticed the subtle, subconscious changes in his behavior had Marc not remarked upon them).
He felt comfortable with you—attractive and valuable and wanted without deceit nor facetiousness—something he had never before experienced beyond his connection to Marc. To others, he was an overenthusiastic nuisance, or a negligible commodity at best, but to you he was important. You cared for him, wanted him to be happy, and never expected anything in return, save his honest companionship.
…But the boundaries for that had started to blur, hadn’t they? Ever since he and Marc had returned from Cairo, you and Steven had grown closer than ever before. With you given just short of full disclosure about his situation (although this was not for lack of faith in your reasonability, since Steven himself hadn’t been aware of all the details until relatively recently—and they would cross the bridge about telling you about their suited vigilante days when it became relevant, although he hoped it never would be), he no longer felt the urge to keep up appearances. He no longer had to fret about hiding the more cornering traits of his supposed sleeping disorder from you, since the true nature of his midnight meanderings had been discovered. He had no more secrets save those that no longer occupied his life at present, no more worries, because you saw and knew and understood most everything that encapsulated him.
That, inevitably, led to a rather blatant and ardent infatuation on his part, seeded by his initial attraction and long-standing friendship with you and germinated by your steadfastness and dedication even after their…episode—one extremely difficult to restrict, and one for which Marc had been teasing him relentlessly now that he had met you, too.
You really ought to tell her, you know, said the devil about whom he thought.
“Yeah, right,” Steven scoffed, tilting his head forward to scrutinize and pick at the layers of unruly curls parted along the side of his scalp with his fingers—they never did sit quite right, even when he made the effort to comb them while they were wet. Marc had wanted to plaster them back with gel to avoid the hassle altogether, but Steven had resolutely set his foot down—you adored their curls and Steven despised the sensation of the pomade on his scalp, so he would not stand to see Marc glue them down like he always did when he had the steering wheel. “Sure, I’d love to put myself out there to be rejected again. You know how bloody well that went the last time I had a date.”
That was my fault. Marc owned up to it, at least. But it won’t happen again.
“You don’t know that,” Steven told him, hushed and tense. “I could just…she’s said we’re mates, yeah? But she could think we’re just mates.”
The way she looks at you? Yeah, totally platonic, Marc remarked, rolling his eyes. You’re her ‘bestest friend in the whole wide world’ and she just so happens to want to climb you like a tree when you ramble about regicide in Ancient Egypt of all things.
Steven’s face prickled with heat as he glared at his host. “How would you know, huh?”
Marc tipped his head forward and raised a knowing brow. The bastard had the gall to smirk at him.
Steven scowled. He could point out how utterly insufferable his host had acted around Layla, awkward and ignorant like a teenager as far as reading her as he had been, but he wouldn’t stoop so low…for now. (As long as he didn’t continue to take the piss out of him, that is.) “Oh, Mister ‘I’ve-Been-Married-A-Grand-Total-of-Once’ is suddenly an expert on the art of interpretin’ female attraction! I’m sure you’ve just got the entire situation nailed down like a psychoanalysis, yeah?”
Give me ten minutes to let me direct the conversation and I can tell you all of her—
“No! No, thank you,” Steven blurted, dragging a hand over his eyes and nose to clasp over his mouth. If his face had grown any hotter in the handful of awkwardly silent seconds that followed that particular statement, Steven was certain that it would have been capable of spontaneous combustion. He floundered for a moment, mouth opening and shutting in search of a response, while Marc started chuckling, but he was saved by the bell, so to speak.
“Hey, darlin’!” you chirped through the doorway as it cracked open and you slipped out of the coffee shop. “I didn’t realize you were here at first, but Amy saw you in the window. You could’ve texted me, you know—I hate that you stood out here in the cold.”
“Oh, I haven’t been here long,” Steven assured you, turning to offer to take your purse. You allowed him to hold it while you shrugged on your coat and wrapped the scarf he’d recently gifted you around your neck. “Where would you like to eat tonight, love?”
“Actually, I was hoping you’d let me try my hand at something new tonight,” you started, then hesitated. “If that’s, uh, okay. I’d have to run into the store to grab some groceries, so if you’d rather wait for another night we can. I completely understand if it’s too late for that.”
And refuse your feats of culinary masterpieces? He thought bloody not. “That would be wonderful, as long as you’re not too terribly knackered to stand over the stove,” Steven said brightly. “I can help.”
Your smile was dazzling even under the unflattering whine of the fluorescent street lamp. “Thank you. I think you’ll like this one.”
“As if I’ve ever disliked anythin’ you’ve cooked for me,” he scoffed in disbelief.
“Okay, sure, but I think you’ll really like this one,” you amended, slinging your purse over your shoulder and grabbing his arm to tug him towards the bus stop. “Come on.”
The ride was filled with idle chatter about each other’s days. Steven was still adjusting to working during the day shifts after his reemployment as a tour guide at the museum, and he somewhat missed sitting with you while you closed up the coffee shop already—but it had given him the opportunity to tidy up the flat and to clean up before returning to the block to fetch you. You’d been tasked with reorganizing the used classical and poetry section, so you’d spent the better part of your day elbow-deep in dusty old books. (Steven was having a very difficult time resisting the urge to snuff the biblichor lingering on your scalp—there was nothing better than the combination of your signature perfume and books to him.) An older man had walked up on you to ask you a question and it had startled you—you’d barely stopped a whole row from toppling down on you since you’d been standing on a stepstool at the time. He’d apologized profusely, but you said that the image of you teetering on that rickety old hunk of metal was probably the funniest thing you’d pictured yourself doing in a long time.
“But you’re not hurt, right?” Steven pressed, brow furrowed.
“No, I’m good,” you answered, nudging him in the side with your elbow. “I’ve got a thick skull—you ought to know that by now, darlin’.”
The stop in the general store was, true to your word, a quick one. He recognized some of the ingredients, but he had no idea how you were going to combine them all into something undeniably delicious. By the time you both got to his flat, you were cutting up and he was laughing a bit louder than what was appropriate close to midnight.
“Here, I’ll get started,” you told him as you unloaded the sacks on the kitchen counter, “why don’t you go pick something to put on for background noise?”
“Sure thing, love,” he responded, turning to do just that. When he came back, you were in the middle of warming oil in a saucepan while dicing some vegetables. “What can I do?”
“I’d kill for some of that lemonade we made the other day if you have any left over,” you commented. “But you could help me get this chopped up. I’ll need the emulsifier. It’s just a simple soup I thought was interesting—I haven’t used sundried tomatoes before. It reminds me of a pasta sauce I’ve seen before, but this is more like a tomato soup than anything.”
“Sounds divine,” Steven told you, stooping over into the fridge to pull out the pitcher in question. He’d left enough for two more servings. “Will you want a grilled cheese?”
“No, I’m okay.” You bumped your hip into his as thanks when he set a glass within your reach, the ice clinking against the glass. “I’m kind of beat, honestly, so if I can get this down before I pass out, I’ll be lucky.”
“I washed your spare clothes if you’d like to go shower while I watch the pot,” he offered. “They’re on top of the dresser.”
“I may take you up on that offer,” you admitted. “Can you dice these tomatoes?”
It, perhaps, should have been a little worrisome how easily he fell into such a domestic routine with you. Even if Marc suspected you had feelings for him that weren’t strictly platonic, Steven wondered whether your natural exuberance was causing him to misread your behavior. But it was in the moments that you intentionally brushed against him when such contact could’ve been avoided, displaying your comfort so loudly without saying a word, that he dared to let that little flicker of hope breathe itself to life. You seemed committed to keeping some form of contact with him at all times, your hands touching his arms or sides as you orbited him like his own personal little moon. You only spoke in that low, inexplicably soothing tone.
Steven watched the pan while you retreated to the bathroom. You reemerged with damp, shiny hair and dewy, softly-scented skin, and it was even harder for him not to catch a whiff as you floated around him grabbing cutlery and bowls and napkins like you had the layout of his flat memorized. You even put the kettle on without him even having to ask, setting out a mug and a teabag for him to fix how he preferred it.
After blitzing the vegetables together and adding a bit of coconut cream to smooth it out, your dish was completed and smelled utterly divine topped with fresh basil. You both ended up settled shoulder-to-shoulder on the couch in front of the television, slurping spoonfuls and idly commenting on the film he’d chosen. It was cozy and calm and exactly what he needed after having a class of rowdy six-graders that had seemed interested in anything but what he’d had to say during their field trip for which he’d been tasked to provide a tour that morning (he should have suspected something was remiss when the teacher’s name had popped up on the itinerary and all the other guides had—quite brightly and appraisingly—suggested he take it; it was a marvel to him, really, that the school could miss the fact that she had utilized the opportunity to be paid to scroll on her phone while he was forced to wrangle the feral children supposedly under her care).
That was exactly the tale he regaled when you asked him, midway through the movie during a lull in the plot, if anything interesting had happened to him that day. You looked rightly disgruntled on his behalf, huffing that he was far too nice to tolerate that sort of negligence and that you would have set her in her place had you been there. He’d gently, if amusedly, informed you that it had somewhat worked out in the end—with no small (nor well-hidden) amount of satisfaction, he told you that his obligation to supervise them all had ended upon delivering the troop to the gift shop at the end of the tour…where Donna had been stuck on shift yet again (since so few people applied for the position due to its low wages combined with the high turnover rate as a result of her nasty behavior and poor management style…but Steven wasn’t normally one to gloat over such things; you, however, had been utterly delighted to hear it).
“At least that bitch got some of what she deserves,” you said, tipping your chin up and glaring down the end of your nose at the screen. “I hope she regrets every last negative word she said to you now that she has to pick up all the shit she dumped on you.”
“It doesn’t matter in the long run, love,” he reminded you, although his chuckle was difficult to smother. It did give him some satisfaction to see it, else he’d have been made a liar to suggest otherwise…but just a little bit. “I don’t answer to her anymore.”
“Good, or else I might’ve felt the need to cut a bitch,” you grumbled.
Steven jumped slightly as Marc’s low, huffing laugh caught him off guard. He glanced over at one of the mirrors he’d mounted on the available space of a nearby bookshelf, and his host’s moody, brooding eyes were twinkling with equal parts mirth and mischief. He didn’t say a word, as he tended to give the front a wide berth when Steven was having personal time with you, but the weight of his presence was a reassuring one. His host lifted his brows and glanced pointedly in your direction, tipping his head towards you for emphasis.
Steven cast him a dark glare. Marc had been teasing him for a week now about finally making a move in the most cliché and inane manner possible, but Steven was resolute that it was not ideal. He respected you highly and didn’t want to give you a poor experience that might smother any chances he had of winning over your good graces. Your ex had been the pushy sort, and he wanted to be anything but. It was simply unfortunate that his and Marc’s individual approaches to romance were vastly contrary.
“Let’s not add ‘murder’ to your long, impressive list of accomplishments, yeah?” Steven proposed mildly, watching you glance up at him with a smirk and glittering eyes of your own.
“Fine,” you sighed, resting your temple briefly on his shoulder. “If you insist.”
“I do,” he nodded. “Wouldn’t be very good if you wind up in prison defending somebody like me.”
“You ought to know by now that there’s not a whole lot I wouldn’t do for you, Steven,” you responded, rolling your eyes, but there was something couched in your tone that piqued his attention.
He blinked, then glanced towards the mirror again, but Marc was gone. So much for his bloody help regarding women.
“You do know that, right?” you prompted a little quieter, and when he looked over, you were gazing up at him through your lashes out of your periphery.
Steven relaxed as that familiar warm, fuzzy feeling unfurling within his chest like the blooming of a flower in the morning. “I do,” he returned softly. “And I hope you know that sentiment is mutual.”
You stared at him, then, head turning little by little until your full, beseeching gaze was fixed on him. His heart pounded raucously against his ribs as he became acutely aware of your hand slipping over to squeeze his knee gently—he was shocked you couldn’t hear it, because it was loud enough he very nearly didn’t hear your next words. “…Can I kiss you?”
He swallowed roughly, a reflexive action that caused him to jump. His hand, shaky and clammy, settled over yours, his fingers slotting alongside your own. He licked his lips, sucked in a breath that rattled in his lungs, and managed a jerky nod. “Yeah,” he croaked. “Please?”
Your free hand cupped his chin, fingertips tracing along his jawline with undeserved reverence before settling his cheek into the cradle of your palm, and he stooped slightly to save your neck as you lifted your chin to meet him halfway. He blinked, startled, as your lips—soft and smooth—chastely met the corner of his mouth. The split-second confused thought of you missing was promptly erased when you tilted your head and repeated the motion to the opposite side, lingering just a tad bit longer there.
Oh. Oh.
He clamped his eyelids shut.
The featherdown flutter of your doe-like lashes tickling the arch of his cheek as you kissed him proper, gentle and slow and tender, skyrocketed his pulse. He wondered idly, somewhere in the back of his muddled mind, if he was in any danger of having cardiac arrest at this rate. Heat flooded his face like wildfire, sweat springing up along his hairline as he reached out to touch you, too.
His trembling fingers made contact with the side of your neck, first, and to his inexplicable delight and relief he could feel your heartbeat racing alongside your throat, too. He curled his hand around your nape, thumb stroking the tender skin beneath the shell of your ear as an indescribable, high-pitched whine escaped you. He cracked an eye open to watch your expression cringe with embarrassment, but you made up for it by sliding your fingers into his curls to tug his head into a deeper angle. A gutted, broken groan bubbled out of the pit of his chest before he could stop it.
You began to litter his lips with quick, light pecks, and never before had Steven quite felt cherished. You pulled back just a hair’s breadth to catch your breath. “You have…no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this.”
“I can hazard a guess,” he mumbled, pulling you back in, “‘cause you’re in the same boat as I am.”
You let out a needy, desperate little noise that lanced down his spine. Steven Grant had never considered himself a selfish person by any stretch of the imagination, but he was quite certain at that moment that if he didn’t hear it again immediately he would die.
Oxygen became a hazy concept, but even the most ardent and devoted of adorators required it. When you broke away to suck in a lungful, Steven dared to look at you. You were dazed, eyes hazy and lips puffy, but the way you glowed in the dim lighting was like nothing he’d ever envisioned in all his studies of art. And you were staring at him as though he had hung each and every last individual star in the sky.
“I was so scared you wouldn’t feel the same,” you murmured, “but I couldn’t hold it anymore.”
“I never wanted to assume,” he added quietly. “I was fine with being mates, but I always wondered…I didn’t want to pressure you, after…I just wanted you to feel comfortable if…”
“I know,” you interrupted him mercifully, leaning back in. “I know. Thank you for being patient.”
“There were so many times I wanted to tell you,” he mumbled into your mouth, too enchanted to shut off his stream of consciousness, “but it never felt right, and I didn’t want to lose my only friend—my best friend—yet it was absolute torture not knowing—”
“I didn’t know if I could bear to make myself vulnerable to be hurt again,” you returned, shifting to kiss along his cheek, “and I had to work myself up to take the risk. You’re all I’ve got left anymore. Maybe I’m selfish to want more than what we have, but God, Steven, I want you so bad, I can hardly stand it.”
The lump in the pit of his throat nearly choked him. He buried his face in the crook of your neck and shoulder, arms coiling around you and holding you tightly against his chest. “I do, too,” he breathed. “Like I need air.”
You returned the hug with a ferocity he hadn’t felt from you before. You were shaking, too, and it soothed him to know that the nerves were mutual, as well. For being very transparent people by nature, the both of you had managed a miracle of hiding your feelings from each other for so long.
“I need you to know that I can only do it if you’re all in,” you said, muffled by the material of his shirt. “My heart can’t take it otherwise.”
“You have all of me and more, poppet,” he told you, smothering his face into your scalp. “I swear to you I’ll do better than anyone else has or could. I’ll earn it, I promise. I can be worthy of you. I’ll sooner hurt myself than ever dream of hurting you.”
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ranscutedoll · 13 hours
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Solid Land
Rindou x reader W.Count: 1058 Genre: Angst to Fluff, reader has family problems, incredibly self-indulgent
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Rindou didn't know what to expect when you called him. Truth be told you had disappeared on him and he was growing a bit worried. So when he answered the phone and heard you sniffing, he abandoned everything to run to your side as fast as he could.
The moment you saw his car make the turn and enter your street, you ran towards it. You knew that disappearing wasn't healthy, but so far it was a coping mechanism that had been working for you. Sadly the amount of times that Rindou had reassured you that it was ok to talk to him when you needed someone, assuring you that you were not a burden, seem to had fallen on deaf ears once more. But he couldn't be angry with you. You may had been putting on a strong front most of the time, seeming almost unapproachable, but he knew that deep down there was a gentle soul, that longed to be cared for. And he vowed to himself to be there for you.  So seeing the tears that were running down your face pained him dearly.
The moment you sat yourself into the passenger seat, Rindou pulled you in a hug. A hug you realized you needed more than anything at that moment.
"I am here for you, darling. I am here" he comforted, while running his hands up and down your back to sooth your nerves. "Let it out sweetheart" he said as he kissed your temple, encouraging and letting you process the emotions you were feeling. It took a while, but once you seemed to have finally relaxed a bit, you retracted from him with a shy yet grateful smile, which Rindou made sure to reciprocate. He momentarily broke the eye contact to retrieve a blanket, he had brought with him, from the back seat, throwing it around you, trying to make you feel as comfortable as one could in such a cramped space.
"Want to talk about it?...I am not going to force you, but I am here for you, you know that" he spoke calmly, without a hint of judgment in his voice or tone.
"I...Thank you, Rin... I, I guess I have been feeling overwhelmed? My family has been pressuring me in every area of my life and it is getting a bit much. I feel like I am suffocating" you confessed feeling a new set of tears. Rindou knew of how your family was; and he hated it.  He hated how they always kept asking for more and more, draining your energy and motivation. You had to be perfect at school, perfect at social interactions, perfect, perfect, perfect.  Nothing was good enough for them.
"And the control...the micromanaging...sometimes it feels like I am not even an actual human being, that I am just a robot made to cater to their needs" you chuckled bitterly.
Rindou didn't know what to say...he knew that whatever he could or would say could only be words of encouragement.  And such words mattered of course they did. He just wished he could do something to actually help you, other than just listening to you.
"Wanna go for a drive, pretty? And get some comfort food? Or go to the beach?" he inquired. A night away might be of help, he thought. And you smiled, like you always did.  "You are an angel,  you know that Rinnie? A knight in shinning armor"
"Only for you, milady" he said and sealed it off with a wink, starting the car.
You soon found yourselves in the drive through of your favourite fast food places with Rindou rolling down the window to order for the both of you.
"...and a kid's meal, please...Yes, thank you" and that cracked you up. A kid's meal? At your age? Rindou looked at you defensively
"You know you want it! I even told the cashier to put the toy in there" and you laughed. He was honestly so precious.
"I love you so much Rinnie.  I appreciate having you in my life so so much" you said solemnly while playing with his hair a bit. Rindou was your safe space amidst a sea of chaos and uncertainty, he was your solid land.
Once the goods were retrieved, Rindou drove the two of you up the hill and parked at a spot that overlooked the city. The stars above you shining, reminding you of how fleeting life's problems can be.
The two of you sat quietly for a few minutes, taking in the view and basking in each other's presence. It felt serene, calm...rejuvenating. 
You were the first one to make a move to grab the food, and you truly felt grateful
"Thank you Rinnie.  I know i probably said it many times already, but thank you"
"You're welcome, baby. I'll always be there for you, no matter what. Don't let the problems of others affect your life or define your worth. You're priceless to me...now c'mon...open that meal, i wanna see what toy they gave us" you snickered at that. Of course he did. So you complied making quick work of the box and pulling out a small plush toy.
"It's Cinammoroll!!!"
"Bleh...too soft" he teased and you both burst out laughing.
"What, I thought you liked soft things?" you said with a fake hurt voice. Rindou hummed and reached for your cheek.
"Well, I do like SOME soft things" he said and pinched your cheek hard. You made a sound of genuine hurt and before you could say anything, he moved his head to kiss the spot he pinched.
"Are you feeling better sweet angel?” he asked once he had retreated back to his seat.
“Mmm, yeah...Thanks to you” you smiled at him as you reached towards the rear-view mirror hanging the Cinammoroll plush there. “A small present” you joked a bit. You knew how Rindou would react.
“There’s no way that stays there!” and reached to remove it, but you slapped his hand away.
“Noooooo, it’s cute!!!!” you laughed
“But-”
“No buts!” you laughed not having any of his arguments.
In the end, it was moments like these that life felt good and worth living. The night breeze gently rustling through the car, you and Rindou sharing food with each other, knowing that you had found solid land in each other.
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A/N: If you liked it please consider leaving a like, comment or reblog <3 Have a lovely day <3
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