#and me and my other irls are gonna watch over video call it's gonna be cute

[rae-writes]

An Angel...

om demons x reader (+Simeon, Solomon)

wc : 1.k

warnings : simping bois, humor, some sprinkled suggestive comments

synopsis : a deviltok trend has the boys on their knees for you (though that’s nothing new)

a/n : this audio scratches an itch in my brain and I needed to do something with it

angel ver. 

<Asmodeus> GUYS!!!  YOU HAVE TO WATCH THIS!!!! NOW!!!!! LIKE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!

[attachment sent]

Casually clicking on the video file, his interest peaked immediately when he saw you. Clad in your RAD uniform, you were positioned in frame a couple steps back. 

“Who are you?” 

He watched you slowly stalk forward with a smile on your face; it was both reassuring and off putting. Only someone like him would be able to notice. 

“An angel…”

You held out your hand towards the camera gently, as if beckoning someone closer. 

“What’s your name?”

The transition was fast— smooth. In an instant, your hand came up and grabbed the phone, like you were choking someone, causing the frame to shake. 

“Satan.”

Once the shaking transition stopped, with your hand still in its previous position, his mouth dropped. You had completely transformed yourself into what he assumed is your version of their demon form. 

Realistic black sheep horns protruded from your head, curling backwards around your ear and ending at your middle jaw. There were light purple extensions added here and there, blending with your hair perfectly. Your free hand had come up to splay over your malicious grin- showing off the fangs you’d added and the sharpness of your new nails. The outfit you wore was revealing- black with shiny accents and shiner jewelry - easily showing the intricate marks you’d drawn over the exposed skin. 

[8 people saved a video attachment] 

Lucifer

His stupidly handsome face forms the most obnoxious smug smirk imaginable 

Don’t get me wrong, he was absolutely flustered. On the inside. 

On the outside though, he radiated pride and smugness 

Like ‘yeah. That’s my Mc. mine. Eat it.’ 

Not that he would ever speak those words. Totally not

Was he also slightly bugged that Asmo seemed to be the only one who had access to this video? Sure. 

Was he gonna make sure his brothers, Diavolo, and Barbatos deleted this from everything they owned? Of course. 

But first, he’s gotta get you to dress up like that for him in person 

Mammon

Mans was astonished. Eyebrows had shot through the heavens, mouth was dropped down to sea floor level, cheeks were a blazing inferno— he was in awe 

First thought : ‘HELL YEAH, MC, YA LOOK HOT!’ 

Second thought : ‘WAIT HOLD UP, THE OTHERS ARE SEEIN THIS TOO-‘ 

Really though, Mammon is just so in awe at how gorgeous you looked 

especially in that gold he knows he bought you

Immediately takes a screenshot of you in that getup and makes it his home screen wallpaper

Then he texts you, begging demanding you dress up like that again because he wants to make videos with you in his demon form too!

I mean, if he doesn’t get to have his hands all over you and his mouth on you like that, how will anyone get the message you’re only for him?

Levi

Someone call the equivalent of 911 for the Devildom, Levi might just be coding 

Actually- don’t even worry about it, he’s just a big puddle on the floor! No worries! 

He. Is. FLUSTERED! Flustered doesn’t even begin to cover it really- 

Levi can't breathe, can’t talk, can’t even wave his hands around frantically to express his lost words

Irl version of a windows restart. 

But as soon as he does reboot, he’s doing his best impression of Oprah into his pillow with how high pitched he’s screaming 

Would love to take a picture with you in that outfit while he’s in his demon form or have you sit on him 

He’ll send you a bunch of emojis in show of his approval but his normal skin tone still isn’t visible under the blush for hours

Satan

Smug as fuck about the audio itself. Definitely silently bragging

Aside from that, Satan is absolutely willing to kneel for you in that outfit 

He’s studied with you on seductive speechcraft but this? He was not ready

Has to take a minute to get his bearings together and to wipe that blush off his face

Satan’s actually pretty speechless for a good 30 minutes 

Not that he’d let you know. He will, however, be telling you how fucking good you looked

Wants to ask if you’ll walk around town with him in his demon form too so everyone can see 

Power couple ™— Take that Lucifer 

Asmo

Azzy is on his knees in an instant- pliant and ready for you to fucking step all over him 

The moment he saw the video he was liking, favoriting, commenting, saving, sharing- everything 

He’d suggested something similar for you to do in the past but you just. 

You went light years beyond what he was expecting the outcome to be and he is here for it 

#1 supporter and immediately is coming up with different- sexier -outfits for you to wear

Will ask, beg if he has to, if you’d come have a photo shoot with him (surprisingly he mainly wants to take photos of just you) 

Admitting to anyone who listens that your beauty is absolutely on par with his 

On his way to your room right this instant- but only after he shares the video with the others 

Beel

Choked. 

You’d think he hadn’t ate in years with how much he was drooling but no

He was just looking at you in that outfit. Which he thought was amazing. 

You are easily the most delicious thing he’s ever laid eyes on (“Gorgeous too…”) and he can’t wait to tell you to your face 

Wonders if you’d have a tail or wings if you really did have a demon form 

Wants to ask Diavolo if there’s magic to make you a real, temporary demon form to find out

Please come to one of his Fangol games dressed like that. He’d promise to win for the rest of the season- and succeed

Overall flustered with his cute blush present, but unlike Satan or Levi, he doesn’t mind showing you 

Belphie

Two words : “holy. fuck.” or alternatively : “fuck. me.”

He is sprinting- yes, sprinting- throughout the fucking house and barreling straight through your door

On his knees faster than Asmo was and is ready at light speed to crawl at your feet and wrap his arms around your leg 

All of his usual curt expressions are thrown out the window without a care in the world

No pure thoughts behind those doe eyes. Not a single one. 

Convinces you to let him take a picture from underneath you while you’re choking him to put as his lock screen because he needed it

Will not be letting you go for the next 24 hours or longer

Fakes innocence like a pro when the others accuse him of hogging you to himself (“they are mine” he snips, even though you have the metaphorical leash right now)

Barbatos 

Mmmmmm, the silent simping is strong in this one

He was simultaneously so fucking ready and so very much not ready for that

Does not know what to do with himself for the next 2-7 business days

Had to put down shit he was cleaning multiple times before he broke something (because you actually broke him)

Straight up doesn’t even ask to show up in your room this time, he just does and immediately beelines to shove his face into your neck 

No, his ears are not red. I believe you might be color blind Mc…

Won’t outright admit how badly you affected him- he just lets out a small ‘you look lovely’ like yeah, Barb? Just lovely? 

Please wear this to the next formal event you attend to watch him lose his cool for split second intervals all night

Diavolo 

If he didn’t have millennia of training on composure, he’d been screaming as loud as Levi 

Instead he settles for slamming his hand on his desk like that meme Asmo showed him 

Concerning his butler a bit, but Diavolo is a proud simp- he ADMITS it

Please come sit on him. Let HIM sit on YOU, for all he cares

You look so good?? What the fuck?? Marry him?? (<<exact texts he sends you)

Tries to find ways to give you a real demon form before getting scolded

Volunteers whole heartedly to let Asmo take pictures of both of you while you’re dressed like that

Ring, ring, Lucifer, he’s coming over ASAP, don’t be alarmed when he shows up at the door

Bonus : 

Solomon

Fuck this man is so down bad for you

I mean, he knew that before but this is just something else, Mc, what have you done to him? 

Knows you’re still human but god does he crave having your pact mark seared into his body (it’s a guilty pleasure of his)

Maybe you’ll just create one and tattoo it on anyway

No second thoughts, teleports to your room immediately to yank you into a kiss

Door is locked- Solomon refuses to let the brothers snatch you away from him rn

Please get on top of him and show him how real your fake fangs and nails feel

Will actually beg without a fight

Simeon

Thinks he should not find this as attractive as he does but the heat flooding through his body disagrees

Gets so hot and flustered, it would be concerning if he wasn’t an actual angel 

Drinks a whole ass cup of water in less than 2 seconds 

Personification of ‘hold my mf halo’ as he makes his way to your place once he calms down a bit

Yes, he’ll take pictures with you with his wings on display and yes, he may or may not be into this (and if you start a little roleplay with him? He’s ascending.)

Don’t tease and make fun of him, he can’t help it! He’s not trying to blush- though he isn’t trying to hide it either

Lies through his teeth without hesitation when he gets questioned about the faint lines on his shoulders 

Heaven’s filthiest angel, on brand

#obey me x reader #om x reader #obey me headcanons #lucifer x reader #obey me lucifer #mammon x reader #obey me mammon #leviathan x reader #obey me levi #satan x reader #obey me satan #asmo x reader #obey me asmo #beel x reader #obey me beel #belphie x reader #obey me belphie #barbatos x reader #obey me barbatos #diavolo x reader #obey me diavolo #solomon x reader #obey me solomon #simeon x reader #obey me simeon

[supercalime]

i totally agree with the vast majority of what you posted about shayne and courtney and fans entitlement to their private lives. i dislike that the fandom so heavily sees things through a 'shipping' lens - angela and damien look at each other for more than three seconds, so here's fourteen fics about them fucking. like it's so deranged and so so strange and fundamentally unfair for everyone involved.

it is the same when people want them all to be best friends irl so bad it causes them genuine distress when they say 'we're just co-workers who have a good time'. i understand parasocial relationships and am aware that some are closer than others (some are married i've heard lol) but if it makes you want to keel over and die to hear arasha call courtney her co-worker...genuinely seek help, that's not good for you.

as someone who came back in the buy-back era and who was a fan at the height of the defy shourtney shipping era, i think it's okay to be like 'aww in videos i always thought they had chemistry!' but the stalking, obsessive stuff is unhealthy at best and wrong at worst.

i worry now about the hyper-focus that will be put on shayne and courtney in videos, both together and apart. i think it's super brave of them to go public (also something they may have felt they had to do, given public records) and i hope that people will be able to dial in to respect them and their relationship!!

Thank you, I feel like I’m going crazy, I’m glad others agree!

Bro I can’t even IMAGINE what the “fans” are going to act now. I mean, I can, and it doesn’t look good.

Im calling it now, if the “fans” will keep an even closer look on Courtney’s body now. They will try to prove a pregnancy and I think that will be worse than what it has already been. If there’s an actual pregnancy that somehow gets announced this year, how much you wanna bet that they will use the time Amanda mentioned a smosh baby to prove they were right and knew all along?

If this weren’t Shayne and Courtney, who had to endure stalkers, harassment, unwanted sexual advances from fans, fanfics written about them, people speculate their relationship by every single interaction they had at work, I would have just gone “omg, so cool! Good for them”, but this poor couple had to hide their relationship, hide an engagement! Courtney wasn’t able to wear a goddamn engagement ring, all to protect their privacy.

Im happy for them but again, heartbroken by the fandom once again.

Anyway, all these posts, fights and interactions made me resent the channel I’ve watched for more than a decade so quickly it was actually shocking. Which fucking sucks cause smosh has never been about romantic relationships and this news shouldn’t have affected the fandom for better or for worse.

Im gonna take a step back from the company, at least for now. I’ve unsubscribed to all the channels and unfollowed everyone. I hope I can get back to watching them but for now I legit feel icky, as stupid as it sounds.

I also learned my lesson for good, never ever interact with the rest of the smosh fans, it’s almost never worth it.

#sorry for the long response love #I still have a lot to say lol #God imagine what the comment section of todays culinary crimes is like yikes. #fans really can ruin an experience #ask #Smosh #courtney miller #shayne topp #shortney #shartney #shourtney #lety rambles

[askdacast]

since I started liking/posting stuff related to the funny boomer Minecraft Youtubers playing an improv death game, I'm probably gonna post more opinion or lore posts occasionally when I have time; the Life Series is like one of my pet obsessions I circle back to every time a new season comes up like most people.

(to my friends/other followers who have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sorry)

I don't usually watch the main Hermitcraft/other SMP videos because they aren't my thing compared to the Life Series SMPs, but I do enjoy what the creators put out and they all deserve lots of praise for the hard work they've put in (especially after a lot of unwarranted criticism lately over Secret Life + Hermitcraft Season 9)

and now for a scorching hot take that will disappoint a lot of fans

I really like the Desert Duo...but only platonically, and lemme tell you "platonic" and "Hermitcraft/Life Series fanart" go together about as well as water and oil

I'm already not a fan of shipping in general as a personal taste, but when it comes to shipping real content creators, my discomfort is doubled. If you ship them I'm not gonna hate on you or ask you to stop, you're free to do as you like and I'm not the internet police.

That being said, Grian and Scar are super close friends iRL (if you include Mumbo, I consider them a "DO NOT SEPARATE" trio) and it's honestly really heartwarming to see them in other series just goofing around and even doing RL meet-ups (mostly Grian/Mumbo). To me I've always loved seeing really close friendships like these, and I will try to refrain from snarking about how people on the internet are really bad at distinguishing Philia love (friendship, really deep friendship) from Eros (romantic love).

The point is, I kinda feel uncomfortable when I see shipping of them cuz it feels like willfully misinterpreting the bond of actual real people. I know a lot of people say "separate the CCs from their personas in the series/lore," and I understand why, but the whole practice doesn't sit well with me. It almost feels like instead of creating something actually derivative of the real people, it's like smooching two dolls that just happen to be labelled "Grian" and "Scar". And as a writer myself for other things, I really like to pay respect to the subject matter I'm writing about, and that includes real people. And considering Grian iRL is a straight married man who's said before he doesn't really like the shipping (Scar to my knowledge has not given his opinion on it), it feels even more uncomfy to me when people try to ship him with one of his actual close best friends.

Yes in a way the real people are separate from the personas they put in Hermitcraft or the Life Series. They're like actors, doing it for the job and the sake of us the audience. (Considering I'm a big fan of Vtubers, I'm very acquainted with this paradox) Even still I can't help but always be cognizant of how they're still real people trying to put out their heart and soul to the public, and we enjoy what they do with deep respect for what they're doing. Shipping, especially if they've voiced their disapproval for it (even though they haven't banned it), feels just a tinge not respecting them as actual people, and feels a bit parasocial-y.

But again these are just my personal feelings, this is NOT a hate/call-out post to anyone in the fandom or demanding anyone to stop shipping the hermits. That being said you're likely to not get any out of me for the reasons I've stated above.

and a side note to talk about lore specifically, I just think platonic Desert Duo (for the Life Series specifically) is even more interesting than taking the romantic lens, because we can still have the angst and the doomed narrative and the unsaid trust between Grian and Scar, and still be able to celebrate each of them individually as respective players/creators, without having to make every achievement they make be about 'oooo because fate'

I haven't seen anyone yet posit the theory that (CHARACTER) Grian has distanced himself from (CHARACTER) Scar not because of just trauma but also that Grian thinks Scar is perfectly capable of holding on his own (shenanigans and carelessness aside). Like he's known Scar long enough to trust that he can survive on his own, and thinks that they should try to not hold each other back, and depending on who you ask this was either a really good or REALLY REALLY BAD CALL in Secret Life (because Scar did win on his own merits, but was left all alone)

#rant #rambling about minecraft youtubers #trafficblr #traffic series #traffic life #traffic life smp #secret life smp #life series #life smp #grian #goodtimeswithscar

[always-andromeda]

I'm Not Looking at Your Junk | Timothy Klitz x fem!Reader

Timothy Klitz x fem!Reader

Word Count | 6,206

Summary | Despite being an infamous prude, Timothy Klitz wasn't expecting it when you said you hadn't watched the sex ed tape he and his friends made during senior year. Little does he know, however, college has given you a chance to become a bit more experienced.

Author's Note | The way I love and hate this so much is ridiculous. I had to get this idea out of my head because it was just clawing at the inside of my skull!! Also, I called him Tim the entire time because I definitely would've been hella uncomfy in high school calling him Klitz all the time if this was an irl man??? I hope I did my man Klitzy justice because I love him so much. I am so nervous about posting this but fuck it!!!

Warnings | smut, (protected!) sex, loss of virginity, fingering, mentions of masturbation, mdni, please let me know if I need to add anything else!

You sighed as you flopped down on Timothy Klitz's couch. The cushions had flattened so much that you were only raised inches from the ground. Even though he was going to Yale, Tim and his two other roommates were set on spending the least amount of money possible to furnish the place. So when one of the guys found the couch free for the taking on the side of the road, of course he picked it up and had it hauled up the apartment stairs.

Tim didn't even know the guys that well. They were nice enough but obviously weren't his type of people. He was sure they'd drop out before the end of the year. But the two brothers were holding their own. Sent there with daddy's money, they'd refused to stay in the dorms where the campus security could bust them for underage drinking and the litany of drugs they were using. When Tim had found out that there weren't any dorm spaces left, he outsourced. The brothers wanted a third person to get in on the rent so they could spend more on supplies for their weekly parties. And with the meager pay Tim was making at his internship, their range met his budget.

On the bright side, their absences made it possible for you to visit more often.

You had your own dorm room but both of your roommates had boyfriends. Most nights you were stuck in your room listening to the sounds of intense lovemaking on the other side of one or two of your walls. That being said, Tim's sparsely decorated apartment with cracks in the drywall was clearly the better option to hang out in.

Tim wasn't complaining about it either. He'd known you since freshman year of high school and considered you one of his closest friends. Having Eli and Matt at his side made it a bit difficult to spend alone time with you. Any time Tim would tell Eli that he had to get off the phone because you were on your way over to his house, Eli would be wailing at the other end: Klitz, you better bang her. Or else I really might kill myself this time. In Eli's eyes, Tim was wasting a situation that was just dripping with erotic potential. She adores you, man. You could slap her ass in the middle of class and she'd thank you! Eli was so sure of himself.

Tim would never do that though. Sure, he liked you, but he couldn't imagine you seeing him in any similar way. You weren’t really the type to just hook up with some guy like it was nothing, especially if some guy was your nerd of a best friend. So just like every other weekend before, he shoved the video tape into the VCR and settled on the uncomfortable couch alongside you.

He'd found some horror flick at Blockbuster a few days before that he thought you’d get a kick out of. As terrible as the effects were in movies like this, the sight of even fake blood freaked him out. You made enough jokes to compensate for the moments where he got too queasy, but this one might be the death of him.

The dramatic title card flew towards the screen: Return of the Bloody Boogeyman!

Your face lit up at the text, already excited for what the night would bring. "You gonna tap out on me for this one?" you spoke teasingly.

He shook his head, brown hair flipping with the action, "You know, I am insulted you'd think I'm that much of a chicken." You laughed with a nefarious anticipation. You couldn't wait for when he would break and start gagging at the low budget visuals.

Of course it started with a completely clothed sex scene. Two teenagers packed into the back of a Cadillac convertible, gasping and moaning exaggeratedly. The black and white filter made it difficult to scrutinize what was going on in the darkly lit scene but the point was made very clear.

"God, it must have sucked having sex back then." you mused.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, it's not like people were casually hooking up all the time. You had to wait until you were married to some guy and even then, they'd probably be super disappointing in bed. But by the time you figured that out, you're locked in." You were talking with your hands now.

Tim wasn’t really used to talking about the topic of sex with you. He wasn’t quite sure how to respond. "Yeah, that probably sucked." Agreeing would probably be his best bet, he decided.

"Now, we have whole instruction manuals to show us the way." You poked at his side. You occasionally teased him about the sex ed tape he and his friends had made on prom night. Though you'd been there that night, watching doors with Tim while Eli and his actors were filming, you had tried not to get too involved with the actual crew. The whole prospect was way too awkward.

It's kind of weird, isn't it? You had said to Tim as you two stood outside a classroom door, guarding it. Your voice was hushed with a tinge of anxiety behind it.

What's weird?  He said vaguely. 

I dunno, it's weird that right behind us are two pornstars just...hanging out in our English class... Tim had let out a stifled snicker. You all would've done anything to help Matt and Danielle out. But that didn't mean it wasn't super uncomfortable.

"Oh yeah, like that taught you some actual techniques." Everyone knew how reserved you'd been in high school. No matter how informative the video was, you were set on being as prudish as possible. 

"That tape didn't teach me jack shit." You spat.

Tim scrunched up his face and shrugged his shoulders, "I didn't think it was that bad. It wouldn't be selling so well if it was complete nonsense, right?"

"I wouldn't know how much of it is or isn't nonsense." You mumbled, finally having gotten to the end of your teasing. And Tim now got what you were hinting at.

He scoffed and looked at you with a cheeky grin, “You haven’t watched the video?”

“Why would I?”

“I dunno, I thought you’d have seen it by now. Everyone has.”

“I’m not everyone.” You gave him a pointed look that kept him quietly fiddling with his fingers for a few seconds, deliberating on if the matter was worth questioning further.

His curiosity got the better of him, “Why haven’t you seen it?”

“Oh my god, Tim, why do you even care?” You exclaimed.

“Nothing, I was just wondering why you wouldn’t have watched it. You were there when we filmed it.”

“I left the room for a reason.” You said indignantly. Tim stared, brow furrowed. Your exit from the library on prom night had been quite dramatic. You had watched April's manicured nails run down Tim's bare thigh and heard her comment on how cute he was. You saw the ecstatic smile that crept across his face. The nervous little blush that grew just beneath where his oval glasses perched on his pert nose.

Before that moment, you hadn't considered yourself possessive over him. But the way his eyes lit up at the comment made you feel sick to your stomach. It made you wanted to storm across the room and kiss him right on his stupid lips. But you weren't that girl then. What chance did you stand with him when he could easily land a pornstar? So you spun on your heel and left the room, grumbling something about checking the hall for chaperones from the prom. You didn't even get back in the limo with the rest of them at the end of the night, instead opting to go home with one of your other friends from homeroom. Then you never talked about that night again.

Though you most certainly were the type of girl who would angrily kiss him just to prove a point now, the memory made you feel that same seed of insecurity and inadequacy fester inside you. But Tim was still staring expectantly, waiting for you to explain yourself.

“Because I’m not looking at your junk, Tim.” You couldn’t bear to let your eyes meet his.

“Oh.”

“Yeah. Oh.” You hoped that would end the line of questions he was throwing at you.

A few beats of silence passed. The movie still played but neither of you were paying too much attention to it anymore. How had the conversation turned to this? He was suddenly wondering if he was so repulsive to you that just the thought of him being naked could throw off your usual teasing mood entirely.

He spoke again. “Why? Is there something wrong with it?”

You were annoyed now. If Tim knew what was good for him, he would've let the matter go entirely. “If I’ve never seen it, how could I think that there’s something wrong with it?” You said matter of factly through gritted teeth.

For a guy who was so smart, Timothy Klitz got in his own way quite often in these situations. He still wasn’t sure how to navigate a discussion like this. At some point, he’d have to stop feeling those butterflies in his stomach whenever sex or genitals were mentioned. But sometimes he still felt like he had about the same level of maturity as a pervy thirteen year old.

“Everybody says it’s big. Is that scary to some girls?” He wasn't trying to brag about it, honestly. But if there was something wrong with his size, he was sure you'd tell him about it. You typically weren’t afraid to be blunt about things.

“Oh, fuck off.” You didn’t need to be reminded of what people said about him. You being one of the handful of people who knew that it was his dick being described as “The Meat Rocket 3000” was life ruining. Of course you’d had a crush on Tim for years. Ever since the moment he’d nervously asked if you had a spare pencil during Algebra class in freshman year, you were head over heels for the gangly little nerd. He had a way of awkwardly nudging his way to your heart. Having any sort of awareness or perception of his dick made being his friend absolutely miserable. It was so much easier when you were pretending he was a featureless Ken doll down there.

“What?”

“You’re such an asshole.” You rolled your eyes and began to shake your leg, the anxiety setting in. This conversation was getting too personal for your liking.

“I’m just stating a fact!” He threw his hands up in defense.

An idea popped into your head. Maybe now he would shut up. “Think about it this way: imagine if you were watching a tape where someone was groping my tits. You’d never be able to look at me the same way.”

He absolutely could not think about it that way. Because the idea made him almost painfully hard. Fuck, he’d thought about groping your tits (and all your other parts) many times over. Mostly while he was jerking off or if you sat too close to him on a movie night or if you looked up at him through your lashes. Almost anything could get him going, if he thought about it for too long. He tried to casually hide his erection with the pillow under his arm, hoping and praying to every deity possible that you hadn’t noticed it.

The room had gone deadly silent and you beat yourself up internally. Even as the movie's monster, dripping with thick, sticky blood engulfed the couple in the car, Tim was all clammed up. No theatrical gagging or jokes. You shouldn’t have even said it. Now he was picturing your tits and it made things too weird. You guys had been friends for so long that he probably saw you as an annoying sister at this point. And no one wants to imagine their sister's tits no matter how big and squishy they might be.

“Tim?” You asked.

“Huh?” His voice cracked like he was going through puberty again.

“You got really quiet...” Crickets. “I didn’t make it weird, did I?”

“No! Of course not. It’s not weird at all.”

“Then why does your face look like that?” His eyes were fixed straight ahead of him and his lips formed a thin line. He looked like he wanted the couch to engulf him entirely. But it was the crimson blush that had spread over his almost pained expression that sent red flags up in your mind. 

He cleared his throat and straightened his posture, “This is how my face always is.”

“Shut up, I know what your stupid face normally looks like.” You quipped back.

“Your face is stupid…” He muttered.

“You’re gonna make fun of me now?” You needed a way to escape the awkward conversation and loosen him up again. You needed to convince yourself that Timothy Klitz was just your friend and would always be just that.

“You started it!” His voice raised a little, sensing the challenge laced into the edge of your words. You both picked on each other like this. It kept up the illusion that you two weren't hilariously and tragically in love with each other.

“Oh, I’ll start something.” You pounced at Tim’s side where you knew he was most ticklish.

Tim’s eyes went wide. He couldn’t even let himself laugh when you nearly tackled him flat on his back. With your knees planted on either side of his thighs, he was on the edge of hyperventilating knowing that the impact was imminent. If you moved any closer, his hard dick was going to be touching your crotch and everything was going to be a fucking mess. And before he could push you off, it was happening.

“Whoa, what the fuck?” You flew back as if he had the plague and pressed against the armrest on the other side of the couch. He sat up quickly and covered himself with his arms. 

“Shit, I’m so sorry,” His voice went high pitched. God, you were going to hate him forever.

“Oh my god. How long have you had that going on?” You tried to let out a laugh but it came awkwardly.

“A minute or so…”

You replayed the past few minutes over. Maybe it was the movie? The kissing couldn't have been that suggestive. You couldn't even see anything that well. Besides, that was a while ago. It couldn't be...was it? Your eyes went wide, realizing what got him so worked up. And his avoidant gaze only confirmed your suspicion. He had gotten hard thinking about you. The thought excited you more than you could’ve dreamed.

He felt so guilty. Not even the humiliation rushing through him could make the erection go away; at the worst possible moment of his life, it was proving to stand the test of time. You were going to think he was such a freak now. You’d stop going to his dorm and you’d never look back. Who wanted a friend who imagined them naked and popped boners at the thought? But against his judgment, you were creeping forward again and making a home between his legs. He watched as your hand extended towards one of his, currently shielding you from the single most embarrassing thing that had ever happened to him.

“What are you doing?” He questioned.

“Just give me your hand.” Your voice was hushed and a little shaky.

Tim stalled. What you had planned for him he couldn't have predicted. You couldn't have possibly been enjoying this. Your worried expression indicated to him that you would rather be anywhere else.

You started over with a slow breath. He was overwhelmed, obviously. But you had to at least try to keep going. “You trust me, right?”

He nodded sheepishly.

“Then give me your hand, please,” He couldn’t tell if you were annoyed at him or…begging?

His hand shook a little as you took it and gently moved it towards your lower half. You guided him until his hand disappeared beneath your skirt and the pads of his fingers were pressed against your underwear. Your underwear, already soaked with slick. The groan he let out made his own cheeks go red hot. You continued to brush his fingers back and forth against your clothed heat and took sharp breaths, your eyes fluttered closed. He was losing his mind seeing how you were using him like this. This couldn't be real. Call the coroner, because he must have died and gone to heaven. Here lies Timothy Klitz, he couldn’t handle touching a vagina.

Your voice was a little higher now. “That’s why I didn’t wanna look at your junk.”

“Oh, shit.” He moaned.

“Yeah. Shit.” You gasped a little as he absentmindedly kept his hand against you.

“What do we do now?”

“I mean…I got you started…I’m sure we could figure it out.” Your finger teased the edge of the collar on his button up shirt. Your face had gotten so much closer to his. Your warm breath was fanning across his cheek and before he could fully process it, you were peppering small kisses along his jaw. When did you get this alluring? Tim could feel himself practically melting at your needy touch. But he had to have more.

Tim turned his head to the side to capture your lips with his. It started sweet with his glasses slightly fogging up. The kiss quickly became feverish when you mounted his hips once more, hovering over his bulge. When your tongue entered his mouth, he knew for sure he was a goner. This time he was desperate for you to touch him again. He whined into your mouth, clearly frustrated over the contact that you were just dangling in front of him. 

In a brave move, he laid his hands on either side of your thighs and pushed you down onto his lap. Immediately and with a soft gasp of your own, you ground into him and began unbuttoning his shirt quickly. His pale chest now exposed, you ran a tentative hand along one of his pebbled nipples. He laid his head back and you went for the kill, sucking on his bobbing Adam’s apple and leaving more kisses along his long neck. This was the sort of moment you had been stopping yourself from picturing for years. 

“God, Tim, you’re so pretty.” You whispered against his skin. That snapped him out of his daze pretty quickly.

“Can I touch your boobs?” He asked in the most nonchalant inflection he could muster.

You almost laughed at his tone. His hardening length proved he was anything but uninterested in this position. In your first few months of college you'd already become acquainted with a handful of college guys who didn't ask what they could do. They just did it in the heat of the moment while pressing you against a wall in some dorm hallway. But Tim had always been faint of heart, only diving into something headfirst if his friends were doing it too. Then again, you'd both changed a lot since starting college.

"You can do anything that you want to me." You finally replied.

He was certain he was dreaming now. You had been such a puritan and now you were letting him do whatever his filthy heart desired? He decided that if there was a god, they must really be looking out for him. 

Your oversized t-shirt had hidden your chest's true form, but now that Tim was tugging it over your head and tossing it away, he couldn't ignore how pretty they were. Your tits hung just perfectly on you, soft and waiting to be played with by him. He cupped one gently, circling the nipple with his long finger. It wasn't the first time he'd felt a boob, but this was different. 

Right behind that boob was your heart. And yours was a heart that he had fallen so hard for. You were so smart and knew just how to make him laugh. You watched every dumb documentary he wanted to watch with him. Even back in high school you would be in his room, sticking out the late study nights, determined to get into the same school together. Through everything, you'd been right there making him feel like he was cool enough to be around a girl like you.

He couldn't keep his cool anymore. "Fuck, I like you so much." He sobbed as he kneaded your tit in his hand.

You smiled and tilted your head, "You do?"

With his eyebrows pinched together, he was practically glowing, finally being able to say it to you, "Of fucking course I do. You're so cool that I can't believe you'd pay any attention to me. I-I'm just some guy."

Your heart was soaring. You'd always kind of hated the idea of him seeing you in a purely sexual light. With the way Eli watched porn like they were Sunday morning cartoons, you figured that mentality had to have leaked into Tim's own mind. Despite being good friends with Tim, Eli, and Matt, there was always a layer of removal between them and you. And you liked it that way.

As the token girl of the group, you had heard plenty of your old classmates gossip over which one of your nerdy friends was going to end up banging you. You were a tough nut to crack and wouldn't fold to any guy who would give you the time of day. So the school populace decided that the nerds you hung out with on a daily basis were the most likely to bag you before graduation. But you made sure to prove all of their bets wrong.

"You're not just some guy.” You cradled the back of his head in your hands, combing your fingers through his long, fluffy hair, “Besides, you're my guy." Your words were pushing him closer and closer to the edge. He was flabbergasted that he hadn't cum yet. Not even when your hand went down to start undoing his khaki pants. But, fuck, his end was too close for comfort.

"Wait, I'm gonna cum." He stopped you quickly.

"Already?" This was so wickedly delightful. "I haven't even done anything."

"I know. But I haven't ever..." He trailed off. Despite you being not even an inch away from his dick, he wasn't quite sure how to tell you he hadn't had sex. Luckily, he didn't have to explain it.

You stopped dead in your tracks. "You're a virgin? I thought you lost it on prom night?"

"Oh, uhhh...no..." That was the second most embarrassing night of his life. April had told him he was cute. So of course he'd taken her home. Before now, that was the most attention he'd ever gotten from a girl. 

But when they actually got inside, it took about twenty seconds into her giving him a hand job before he came. April explained that it was natural, especially for a guy so new to the whole game. And while he appreciated her reassuring personality, he was so crushed that it killed any arousal he'd had left in him. He didn't think he'd be a sex god, but with how often he jerked off he thought he'd be able to last longer than that.

Aside from all of that, you had looked so gorgeous that night in your glittery, floor length prom dress. The excessive eyeliner lining your waterline and eyelid was a little intense but quickly became more sultry when you were standing under the dim lights of the high school halls. He even found himself swooning when you kept tripping over your heels. It gave him an excuse to keep his palm on your hip the majority of the night. He concluded that night that that was as far as things would ever go. You'd both go off to college together and find different people and any idea of being with you would be long gone. But there you both were, at the precipice of a new chapter of your relationship.

"You're a virgin too, right?" he asked suddenly, sure that you would say yes and quell his nerves.

"Not exactly," You pursed your glossy lips.

"Shit, really?" You were pretty, yeah, and any guy would be stupid to not want you. But Tim hadn't expected you to have gotten around so quickly. Part of him still saw you as the girl who would shy away from allusions to sexuality.

You rolled your eyes. "It didn't really mean anything. Like my first few times were with Jason from Intro to Philosophy. But he never made me...finish?" Those had been disappointing times. You’d spent all of high school telling yourself you’d wait until college before letting a guy touch you. You were confident for some reason that college guys would be so much more mature about sex than any of your high school classmates. By now, you knew that you were very wrong.

Tim vaguely remembered you talking about a cute guy with that name. He'd been insanely jealous but had ignored the ugly feeling, convinced that nothing would come of your comments about him. You'd never pursued a guy like that before so why would you now? He wouldn't have guessed that the few nights you'd skipped out on movie night had been because Jason had been failing to make you cum. But of course Jason was just a clueless meathead who didn't think about your pleasure.

"I can try to make you finish." He said quickly, trying not to trip over the proposal.

"Tim, if it's gonna be your first time then I doubt you're going to make me-"

"I want to try. If I don't try, what kind of guy does that make me?"

You admired his sense of chivalry. What would be the harm in trying?

With your gentle, encouraging smile, Tim felt confident enough to let you keep undressing him. Butt naked on his own couch, he had never been more grateful that his roommates were party guys. There was no chance they'd be walking in on this. More exposed than ever, he was rock solid, cock bobbing against his abdomen.

The sight of him had your stomach doing backflips. You were so glad that this was his debut for you. His face had been covered in the tape. His throbbing cock paired much better with you being able to see his ruined expression, swollen lips parted in preparation. You grabbed a condom from your bag on the floor and ripped it open quickly. Tim was over the moon that it was you putting the condom on him this time.

When you pulled your panties aside and lowered onto him, the startling stretch made you hiss through your gritted teeth. You were sure he could split you in half just sitting there. Tim was right there with you, buried completely inside you, surrounded by your slick, silky walls. He wanted to move so badly but he knew he had to wait for you. You bounced once, testing the waters, your tits moving with you. When you landed again, you had to hold on tight to his button up shirt, still hanging off his shoulders.

Tim couldn't stay put, his hips were bucking up sloppily, thrusting impossibly deeper up into you. You got the hint and began to match his pace. You also came to learn very quickly that Tim was loud. He muttered a string of curses between low groans that bubbled in his throat. When the two of you were moving in harmony, he was seeing stars. For all of ten seconds after that, Tim was euphoric. Sweat dripped down his forehead under his bangs and it was just beginning to form on his upper lip too. Before he knew it, his climax culminated in a massive shudder of pleasure that coursed throughout his whole body, making him hold onto your hips for dear life. The last of his energy was spent cumming inside of you.

As soon as he went still, the arousal that had been building in your abdomen withered away. You couldn't say you were disappointed in him. If anything, it made you kind of proud of yourself. After a few seconds of listening to him groaning, coming down from the high, you dismounted him and dropped back on the couch next to him. Your skirt had ridden up during the experience so you adjusted it and rested your head on his bare shoulder, a small smirk playing on your face.

"That was fucking great." He breathed out.

"I'm glad." You looked up at the side of his face and placed a quaint, loving kiss on his freckled shoulder.

He was silent for a little while longer until he looked over at you, "You came, right?"

You giggled, "No, silly. But it's fine, I didn't expect you to make me come our first time."

Tim shook his head quickly, "No, it's not fine. It's not." He wanted to be good at this. 

Theoretically, he had all the equipment needed to get the job done. His technique was...less than ideal. He didn't want to be like that flake, Jason, leaving you all high and dry. 

"Hey, you don't need to beat yourself up." You said reassuringly and massaged his shoulder. You were leaning down to pick up your discarded shirt when Tim started to kiss up your shoulder to the back of your neck.

"Put that down," He spoke huskily, taking the shirt from your hands, "You don't need that yet."

You reclined back and Tim refocused his attention to your collarbone, "What are you doing?" You asked breathily. His hands roamed greedily up your sides, feeling up every inch that he possibly could.

"I said I wanted to make you cum." He whispered into the crook of your neck, "I just might need your help doing that, though." As assertive as he sounded, you detected his lack of experience and the nerves behind the words.

"Okay," You replied quietly. 

Tim adjusted so his back was against the arm of the couch. He nodded towards your bottom half, "Can you take those off for me?" So you stood, sliding your panties and skirt down in one slow motion, the garments pooling on the carpet as you stared into his eyes. Tim just stared and swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump in his throat.

When you were done, he was motioning for you to sit between his legs. You followed his directions. Half hard again, you felt him press against your back. The sensation made you shiver a little. His mouth was giving light kisses on your shoulder and his long hair tickled the back of your neck.

"So, what do you want me to do?" He asked earnestly. He hoped that in your sexually active months on campus, you'd already discovered what you liked because he sure as hell didn't know what he was doing.

You thought back to his hand pressed against your heat and how divine his fingers had felt down there and blurted out, "Your hand. I want you to use your fingers” And then quickly tacked on, “Please."

He brought his hand around to your front, taking his time running his fingers down your abdomen until they were hovering over your cunt. You were on edge, just waiting for him to work some sort of magic on you. But you had to stay patient. You had to show him the ropes a bit. He was a novice in this area. So you placed your hand on top of his again, eager to be his guide to bringing you to your peak. You brought him to your folds, made him drag his fingers across them. 

You stopped right at the nub near the top, "Do you know what that is?" You asked faintly through a gasp.

Through his own volition, he flicked a fingertip over the bundle of nerves with the tips of his fingers, making you twitch a little in his arms. Making that sex ed tape had taught him just enough. 

"The clitoris?" He answered, all too happy knowing that he was right. He felt you nod against his shoulder.

"Then that means..." He trailed off and separated from your grasp, bringing his fingers back to your folds. He slipped one between them, covering it in your slick. The muscles in your cunt quivered, looking to clench around something substantial. Before any arousal could blossom there, he pulled his finger out and looked at the digit, glistening in the light.

"Oh, fuck yeah," he said under his breath with the smallest smile forming across his face.

Your frustrated voice broke his fascination. "Tim, baby, I know you're having fun right now but I really need you to do something now." The desperation dripping from the sentence made him more proud of himself than apologetic.

"Oh, yeah, shit. Sorry." He muttered. You managed a little giggle despite how exasperated he was making you. It was kind of cute, especially when you compared it to your other sexual encounters. He was such a dork. But he's your dork now.

You couldn't have imagined his long, thin fingers feeling so comforting. You hummed contently as you felt the flame deep within you begin to grow. When he got two fingers in, it wasn't quite as filling as his impressive length. But it would still work. As long as he kept pumping steadily the way he was, you had a one way ticket to cumming all over his fingers.

"Faster, please," You requested, your hips bucked into his movements, trying to get him deeper as his fingers barely brushed against your g-spot. He willingly obliged, quickening his pace, taking your whines to mean he was doing something right. But he still felt something was missing. He swallowed hard, hoping he wouldn't fuck up his rhythm as he took his thumb and started to rub rough circles around your clit. To his surprise, the contact made you throw your head back onto his shoulder and arch against his chest.

You gasped, "Oh, Klitzy, fuck, right there," For years you'd refused to call him by his last name like all his friends did. At one point, the nickname left you feeling uneasy, almost a mockery of how you felt about him. But now it seemed fitting. After all, that was the spot he was hitting with his thumb right then.

A shameless grin had formed on Tim’s flushed face as you sputtered bits of praise and curses at him. He was sure you were close when your voice broke. Never in all his life did he think he could have this sort of effect on someone. But, god, it left him knowing that it was you in his lap.

Your impending orgasm had your vision going white and fuzzy at the edges. You clenched your jaw, working through the intense impact that had your hips spasming against Tim’s thighs. You loved him. As you let out a final cry, you realized it fully.

All Tim could think about was how much he was enjoying all this. The scent of your perfume on your neck and sweat forming on your heated figure. The sight of your mouth gaping open, unable to hold back the strangled sounds of your pleasure. The filthy sound of his fingers moving in and out with that undeniable squelch. The feeling of your legs jittering against his and your cunt squeezing around his fingers as you released all the pent up friction. He would gladly do this all day if you would let him.

He slowly worked you through the aftershocks of your climax by languidly massaging your slit with his slick fingers. You were humming quietly, now sunken into the lazy tranquility of Tim's presence, occasionally jolting when he stimulated you too much. You felt boneless in his arms. This was paradise, you were convinced.

"Did I do good?" The question was quiet but brimming with delight in your ear. Like he knew the answer but was hesitant to let himself believe it.

You tipped your head a little further, realizing how much you'd slunk down in his grasp. "You've got to be kidding me." You exhaled heavily and shook your head.

"What?"

"You just want me to say you did good?" Your nose scrunched up.

"It would be nice to hear." He said hopefully.

You turned around to face him, resting shakily on your knees. "Tim, you did better than I ever could've imagined."

"Your imagination must be pretty boring then." He snickered.

"You idiot, just take the compliment." You cupped his cheeks with your hands and kissed him tenderly before he could give another smart ass response.

"Sorry I couldn't make you cum the first time." He apologized when you parted from him.

You simply laughed and bit your lip teasingly. "Maybe next time, Meat Rocket 3000."

#danonation #paul dano #timothy klitz #timothy klitz x reader #klitz x reader #the girl next door #klitz smut #˚ʚ meda writes ɞ˚

[irenewsky]

Anime I watched in 2023 (Part 2)

If you came here from the part 1, I thank you and I appreciate you. Now, this part of the list will include some shows I wanted highlight and some extras. Okay, that's it. Let's go!

Some of my older lists:

My favourite animes (Old. Tells of my tastes back in, like, 2018-2020 or something. Updated list coming once I get around to it)

Feel good anime Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3

Blue Lock

Yoichi Isagi is a member of his high school’s soccer team and during one of their important games, he makes a decision that costs their team a chance of going to the nationals. Bitter and disappointed, Isagi returns home only to find a letter from the Japan Football Union waiting for him. He has been chosen to be a candidate for a new projects called ”Blue Lock”. The competition is tough and ruthless. Who will make it through to the end?

24 episodes - sports

Everyone and their mother watched this one for sure. I might hate irl soccer due to finding it extremely boring (sorry irl soccer fans), but this one I really liked due to it making the sport actually interesting for me. I gotta also say that I found their eyes kinda unsettling when they entered their ”monster modes” (I can not say that with a straight face lol) but other than that, the animation was quite good.

Moriarty the Patriot

In the late 19th century Britain, William James Moriarty and his accomplices with nobles’ blood on their hands work together on a grand plan to bring down the system that favours aristocracy. A mathematician by day and a crime consultant by night, William James Moriarty is about to meet his match - one gentleman called Sherlock Holmes.

24 episodes and 2 OVAs - drama, thriller, mystery

Love me some more victorian era Sherlock Holmes shenanigans. I was so late to this one but it was still so worth the watch (and the read. The manga is just *chef’s kiss*)

*Mastermind by Taylor Swift playing in the distance* Honestly, imagine meeting you soulmate (platonic or otherwise) and them being on the completely other side of law from you. The drama of it all. (Yes, I’m very normal about these two)

Dr. Stone (Season 3 + Nanami Ryuusui Extra)

Over 3700 years ago, a mysterious beam of light enveloped every human into a layer of stone. To stay conscious, Ishigami Senku started to count seconds from the moment he was petrified. When he manages to break free from the stone in the spring of the year 5738, the human civilisation as he knew it had already disappeared. What will happen from now on? What will happen to rest of the petrified people? Are there others who have depetrified?

3 seasons + Nanami Ryuusui extra - action, adventure, comedy, drama, sci-fi, shonen

You will find this anime/manga on my updated favourites list, I’m warning you in advance.

I love, love, love this anime so much. It follows the manga so well and yes, I do recommend the manga for anyone interested. It’s really, really good and didn’t let me down unlike some others have. Also, it’s so refreshing to have a main character who is actively very much uninterested in sex and romance. How aro and ace of him (personal headcanon, no need to fight me for it)

BRB gonna go make myself a Gen Asagiri cosplay. My favourite scheming gremlin.

Tomo-chan Is a Girl!

Tomo is a high school girl with a crush on her long time bestfriend, a boy named Junichiro. She tries to confess to him but unfortunately she has been placed into the friendzone from where it seems almost impossible to escape from. With Tomo being very tomboyish and physically strong, it’s just hard for Junichiro to see her as a girl. Will she get out of the friendzone? Maybe she should get some help from her other friends…

13 episodes - romance, comedy

I didn’t think I would like it as much as I did. ’Childhood bestfriends to lovers’ trope with a healthy sprinkling of pining, chaos and ridiculousness. Delicious.

Romantic Killer

Anzu, a high school girl obsessed with video games, cats and chocolate and fully uninterested in romance, gets assigned a wizard that is going to do everything in their power to create the perfect love life for her. Anzu, however, is having none of it. Game on, you stupid wizard!

12 episodes - comedy, romace, supernatural

I kind of have a lot to say about this one, so buckle up. As an aroace person (who also, coincidentally, loves cats, chocolate and video games) I found the premise a bit annoying at first. I do love, well, love, but it pissed me off that romance was treated as an ”end all, be all” kind of thing and everything else as irrelevant rubbish. Trying to force someone into a relationship via magical means felt wrong. You could say I’m reading too much into this and yes, maybe I am, seeing as the premise was a ”to counteract the low birth rates” gag, but I’m also entitled to my own opinion and critiquing hetero- and amatonormativity.

Regardless, I ended up actually quite liking the anime as it progressed. The backstories for the characters were interesting and I found myself really loving Anzu’s headstrong personality. She doesn’t let the wizard push her around and stands her ground quite often. I really appreciated that. Also the humour in the show did make me laugh quite often, which is always a plus. That being said, I wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to whack the wizard around the ears. Annoying little thing, that one is.

Sasaki and Miyano

Yoshikazu Miyano, the schools resident BL loving student, meets his senpai named Shuumei Sasaki after he saves Miyano’s classmate from being bullied. This chance encounter and Miyano accidentally revealing his interest towards BL bring the two together and from that day onwards Sasaki is stuck to him like glue.

13 episodes and an OVA - Romance (BL), drama

My VPN worked its ass off when I read this manga on some shady ass website lmao. I just had to know what happens after the point where the anime ends.

Very sweet. Do recommend.

The Yakuza’s Guide to Babysitting

Kirishima Toru works for the Sakuragi family. One day the head of the yakuza crime family summons him and tasks him with the duty of taking care of his daughter, Yaeka. How will this ”demon of Sakuragi” handle his new responsibility of watching over her?

12 episodes - comedy

This filled the hole in my heart that Spy x Family ending left at the time. Really heartwarming and I loved the bonds the characters in this show had.

The Salaryman’s Club

Shiratori Mikoto is really good at badminton. That is until an incident in the Interhigh leaves him unable to play how he wants to. Things start to change when he gets a job at Sunlight Beverages and joins their weak and amateurish badminton team.

12 episodes - sports

I saw no one talk about this??? Anyway, I liked this one. A lot. There might a little bias on my side since I actually practiced badminton when I was younger, but I think I would have liked this regardless! The characters had nice dynamics and liked the aspect of ’salarymen by day, badminton players by night’. Have you even lived if you haven’t experienced the highs and lows of corporate world badminton?

And finally, we have a few honorable mentions without descriptions, only vibes and opinions:

Latest season of Tokyo Revengers (Chifuyu truly is the bestest of boys, the homiest of homies. I also read the manga in its entirety. That one I have… a lot of opinions about, not all of them good)

Our Dating Story: the Experienced You and the Inexperienced Me (this one was just okay for me. I actually don’t know if I ever finished it… Well, I’m gonna have to accept the fact that I’m just not someone who enjoys the ’established relationship’ trope…)

Trigun Stampede (I’m not usually scifi kind of person but this one I really enjoyed!)

Komi Can’t Communicate (Not much to say about this one. It was very nice and I particularly liked the way Tadano almost seemed like he was able to read minds hahaha)

The latest season of Demon Slayer (Honestly, a little disappointed. It felt simultaniously very slow and very fast. Also, kinda boring compared to the last arcs. Still decent tho)

Spy x Family (Ah, Spy Family, my beloved. I liked this one a lot)

Chainsaw Man (Gotta admit, I was a little traumatized by the episode 7. I have never wanted to crawl out of my own skin more while watching anime, than I did while watching that episode. The skipping and pausing I had to do with that one… Damn. Other than that one episode, I liked this one enough to finish it)

My Dress-Up Darling (mixed feelings about this one. I just wanted a nice anime about cosplay and sewing and ended up getting fanservice and sexualization of minors. I’m in my mid to late 20s, I don’t need that shit. Just feels weird and wrong. I did finish it, albeit I did skip all the fanservicey scenes)

#yes I say ’soccer’. I was taught british english in school so deal with it #blue lock #moriarty the patriot #yuukoku no moriarty #dr. stone #tomo chan is a girl! #romantic killer #sasaki to miyano #yakuza’s guide to babysitting #kumichou musume to sewagakari #the salaryman’s club #iida’s anime recommendations #iida’s 2023 anime recap #iida watches anime #anime recommendation #thanks to those who have made these gifs!

[absolutebl]

Hi ABL,

I've seen someone say that Gong Jun had better chemistry with his male co leads than the female leads in his het dramas and you made a mention of watching his het dramas and that they weren't good. I know you can't give a concrete answer but can you theorize why his acting is livelier in advance bravely and Word of Honor than in others.

❤️ Mimi

I have talked about this a little bit before. And someone in a comment once mentioned that Ohm (bad buddy and many other BLs) also said something to this effect :

If you are from a culture where male-to-female physical contact is extremely restricted (like China or South Korea for example), it’s sometimes easier to act intimacy with another man because you’re less freaked out about being accused of pushing things too far or taking advantage of the situation. 

In other words, in places where you are trained by every social moray and stricture into “ gentlemanly” behavior around women (but not around men) it’s easier to act intimate with a man, especially if you have a certain personality type. 

(The rest of this is about me and my baggage hon, not you the lovely human who asked a perfectly innocent question.) 

Begin an ABL Anthropological Rant, skip as needed for your blood pressure 

It’s one of the biggest issues I have around IRL shipping within the global Kpop stan communities. Because a lot of westerners are so uncomfortable and unused to (and internally homophobic around) men showing physical affection to each other, they assume 2 boys in a group who are physically demonstrative are automatically gay. When, in fact, it’s just men are more affectionate with each other in general at that age and in that culture. 

(This is different from Thai BL couple branding and skinship baiting, which is a can of worms because it’s: intentional, commercial, mercenary, and possibly contractually abusive to some pairs.) 

Back to Kpop ranting...

All those YT channels making videos about Kpop “gay” relationships are actually just displaying the “creators” own rampant internalized homophobia and complete misunderstanding of another culture. 

And do I think some of these idols are gay? Well yes, of course, statistically speaking, some of them must be. Just like some BL actors must be. Yes, even the ones in China. But that’s so entirely not the point. Frankly, the gay ones are more likely to be reserved about showing affection, BECAUSE THEY’RE SCARED OF THIER FANS. 

Let’s call a spade a spade shall we? (rather than a not-gay a gay). 

This is touch shaming men, which is frankly disgusting, given how many problems we have (in the western world particularly) with men being touched starved. Should I make the correlation between this and toxic masculinity, incel behavior, and higher rates of suicide (and violence) amongst men? Well I COULD, but I’m not gonna, because it’s an incredibly complicated issue. And I’m exhausted by the whole conversation. 

Frankly, being queer means we gotta deal with higher rates of abuse, violence, and suicide ourselves... I don’t got a lot left over to worry about the straight boys, except on an anthropological level. 

In conclusion: IRL 

don’t assume sexual identity from the physical contact or physical comfort levels you observe, especially within a different culture 

ask permission for whatever you wanna do to someone else

don’t touch shame, celebrity or otherwise

and don’t let or teach your kids to do any of this, either, no matter how young they are 

Yes, as a breeder, it IS your responsibility.

It’s not complicated. 

BAH. 

This is supposed to be a happy blog. 

Anygay... 

I talk about this a lot in this particular post on skinship and Thai BL. 

#MOOD

#abl is ranting again #fuck i hate skinship #and IRL fanfic #and yes one of my besties writes BTS fic sigh #and yeah i do think it's harmful #protect yourself don't read this #i'm in a MOOD #like the MCND song

[gingerylangylang1979]

Black Women & BWWM Ships

I’m a Black woman, I sometimes like interracial ships, sometimes I don’t. But I will say that race isn’t the deciding factor in me shipping the BWWM ships that I have shipped in my life. The BWWM ships I have obsessed over are Richonne, Spock and Uhura for a minute (but I got bored with that franchise super quick), and Carmy x Sydney. There is a Black woman, Tamar, on The Chosen (the only other show I currently watch) and I want to ship her with somebody because she’s fierce and it would be interesting but nobody stands out for her yet. The only core male characters close to her are Jewish (the Apostles) so I would ship her with a white man by default but honestly it wouldn’t matter to me if it’s one of them or a fellow African who joins later. 

Anyways, I’ve also hated or been indifferent to BWWM ships. A few that come to mind are Tara and Sam from True Blood (just awkward), Olivia and pretty much anyone on Scandal (I liked that show for the high drama but after a while thought her and all the boos sucked and dropped that show), and basically any BWWM pairing that seems forced (so many shows try to throw this in to be edgy or whatever and it seems token and lame). 

My point is I’m not swayed just because a relationship is interracial. I just like what I like. A couple who has chemistry, interesting parallels, partnership, a common bond, obstacles they have to overcome (any good written romance does not come easy), an interesting world they inhabit together, and they look cute together (I can be a little superficial, why not) are going to suck me in regardless of racial dynamics. 

Why am I writing this and who cares? I remember back in my days of the Richonne fandom there being a popular sentiment coming from some haters that only “desperate Black women” shipped Richonne. That isn’t even true because they are actually quite popular with all races, people are just gonna hone in on the “desperate Black women”. I remember the canon reaction videos, it was a widely diverse audience that was like “finally”. But I guess I’m waiting for that shoe to drop with The Bear fandom. There has already been some questionable posting about the pair but nothing as outright toxic and bad faith as I saw with Richonne... yet. Like, people literally calling Michonne manly. We’ve already got the sibling lameness and the they are strictly mentor/mentee claims so I don’t think the rest is far behind. 

People swore Rick and Michonne were like siblings, they made a great team but not that kind of team, it would be weird if they kiss, a romance would be forced, Michonne is gonna get the Negan bat to the head, she was Carl’s babysitter, they are too much alike, etc. Rick was also shipped with any white woman on the show or people hoped The One would show up for him all while ignoring the obvious setup that was years in the making. Now, I’m not saying any BWWM pairing can’t have legit criticism and people legit just aren’t for it (of any race because plenty of Black people are not about the swirl)... but BWWM inspire a unique disdain historically. 

A lot of people can’t imagine romance with these characters because they are sheltered TBH. I think the confusion that exists with Richonne and Carmy x Sydney in particular is because they get a Kerry Washington type being an ingenue who attracts the white lead but someone less glam in the way most of society sees glam throws them if a white man wants them. A white woman can be less than glam and they will get it. But with a Black woman it doesn’t register or make them comfortable. It doesn’t compute. It could be conscious or unconscious. I get it, I see it, I’m not sheltered. I’ve seen couples IRL that look like Richonne and Carmy x Sydney. It exists, it’s real, and it makes great fiction. Black women will support it in a story if it makes sense. 

Now, granted I do think some fetishize interracial relationships and that has its issues but I also think Black women are going to love... Black women being loved, by anybody regardless of gender, orientation, or race. We just want romance and a compelling story. If there happens to be a Black person that could be paired with a Black woman but if it just doesn’t make sense, it just doesn’t. Or maybe it could be an ok couple but it wouldn’t be as epic as the BWWM pairing being developed. We pick up on what is being given to us. 

I think if people don’t see blatant lust or intense flirting between a pair right away they assume we are imagining things. Many don’t often see the tiny sparks and hints or room for romance to grow and develop deeply for Black women characters. We are complex, too. We sometimes have to stumble, and be awkward, and push away, and be conflicted. I think any subtlety with a budding romance gets easily lost with Black women characters. When it’s a white man opposite us it can be hard for many to see it for what it is if it doesn’t read as obvious to them. But we see what we see and it just may be a fine white man and a beautiful Black woman navigating a nuanced something, something until it becomes SOMETHING. 

#richonne #twd #the walking dead #michonne #rick grimes #michonne grimes #the bear hulu #the bear fx #carmy x sydney #sydney adamu #carmy berzatto

[emetogirl]

I have one more IRL story (it's the PT again). This happened in grad school during a neuro class. My best friend of 20+ years (we lived on the same street growing up, I'll call him Sam) and I both got into the same PT program. So we were roommates and everything, and we were always studying together and sitting together during class.

On Fridays, we would eat lunch on campus before going to our neuro class. I noticed that day that Sam was quiet and just seemed really tired. His elbow was propped up on the table and he was holding his head in his hand while he ate the broccoli soup he'd ordered.

I asked him if he felt alright, and he told me he hadn't gotten much sleep that night, but assured me he was fine otherwise.

While we were walking to class we were talking back and forth like normal, and I remember we were both worried we were going to have a pop quiz, so we were quizzing each other on the reading we'd had for homework.

During a brief moment of silence, Sam said suddenly, "Ugh. My stomach kind of hurts."

"It does?" I raised my eyebrows.

"Yeah." He shrugged. "I'll be fine."

Well, he wasn't fine. Our professor chose that day of all days to show us a video of a brain surgery that the patient remained awake for. It turned my stomach, and I wasn't even feeling sick beforehand.

It was Game Over for Sam. I looked over at him and he wasn't even watching. He was holding his head in his hands again, looking down, and he was sort of trembling. I could see sweat dripping down his neck.

"You good?" I whispered, nudging his foot with my toe. I knew he wasn't.

"No, think I'm gonna puke," he answered shakily.

I flagged our professor down and discreetly explained the situation. He excused us both from class and I helped Sam to the mens' restroom. I didn't go in there with him, but heard him getting ill from outside the door. :(

I took him back to our apartment and he continued throwing up off and on the rest of the afternoon and into the evening. Poor guy was miserable. His mom ended up coming and getting him for the weekend, so I was able to escape catching it.

Sam got teased a bit from our cohort the following week, just light joking about not being able to stomach a surgery. He took it in stride and let it roll off his shoulders. Only I knew that he'd been genuinely sick.

Another epic story!! Poor thing, that sounds SO miserable. I’m glad you were there to take him home and that he had people around to take care of him!

#emeto #irl emeto #irlsickstory #emeto tw #vomit tw

[weemstar]

Ive been watching this trend since Rock Paper Scissors.

I don't care about winning. I care about integrity. I don't use the shells, I hoard them.

I'm a casual player who enjoys playing with my friends and being goofy during splatfest. It's a test of my skills and I love the energy!

But unless a team color is funny or the options WILDLY popular in Japan and NOT given to her, Shiver wins.

there's an implicit bias happening if Japan affects the outcome on its own and 90% of them never interact with US and Europe players bc of the way matchmaking functions. Look at Money v Fame v Love. Love reported mirror matches so frequent that TOO many people spent half their splatfest time in mirrors for them to not get the popular vote at LEAST.

Like they keep giving Shiver the options that align most with Japanese players, ofc they're gonna pick Shiver, it's a culture thing. It's not bad or wrong, it's just not fair to the ENTIRE global player base for one single country to affect the outcome singlehandedly.

A streak this long shouldn't be happening with 3 idols. I genuinely love Shiver, her character is great and her design is wonderful, but Nintendo is stacking the deck by giving her the option that aligns with the largest section of the player base EVERY time. I haven't picked her since Nessie because I've been picking based on which one I actually want, not what promises me a win.

I'd be mad if Frye was winning this long, or Big Man. Hell I remember being a lil cross that MARINA had a 7-streak during 2, and I never played that one! It was for the simple fact it seemed ridiculously unfair.

It doesn't make sense for the score to have been *so* close at Halftime only to then turn and see 55% of the total votes going to Shiver. It's ridiculous.

Nintendo either needs to make splatfests regional again or it needs to fix global matchmaking to ACTUALLY make it as fair as possible.

People are also taking this far FAR too serious and I'm worried if something isn't done people will begin to get worse. It's a game. It needs to be patched and fixed, but stop taking your anger out on others. Stop doxxing people. Stop gore-spamming people and calling them slurs. Stop harassing people over a video game. It's not fucking real you shit-baby.

I don't want toxicity under this post. You act like an ass I'm blocking you. This isn't me being "salty", this isn't me throwing a fit. I'm genuinely asking for a problem to be fixed because it's causing genuine issues.

I don't want to see racism either. I see that shit you're being reported and blocked.

I've seen a LOT of that lately against both Shiver and Frye and it's frankly disgusting.

I'm angry at the company, not the digital character who bare resemblance to irl races that yall seem to enjoy making disgusting comments about when you're angry.

Mic dropped.

#splatoon 3 #splatfest

[hybbart]

May I request you draw some empires s1 flower husbands I Miss them so much( ps your jimmy design is adorable)

First of all thank you very much! Now, I have actually drawn a little sketch for you. But I'm gonna put it in another post cause I just wanted to use this ask to say a couple things so it doesn’t get bogged down by this, cause this happens to touch close to some topics I wanted to mention for a while now but my brain has a hard time letting me just make permanent text posts on this blog specifically since it's supposed to be for my art.

Long post so I'm putting it below the read more. Sorry if this seems like an inappropriate reply, I really just don’t know how or where else to say these things.

TL;DR: I've given myself strict rules on what I'll personally depict in my mcyt art, I'm not actually fond of flower husbands or Jimmy and Scott's dynamic in general (adore both of them individually though), and I still don't really know much about e1 outside of Lizzie so have 3rd life instead.

First thing is something I probably shoulda said a long time ago cause I've gotten a few asks about drawing explicitly romantic or sexual stuff, but I don't intend to draw either of those things. I have a big difference between what I'm comfortable consuming and what I'm comfortable making myself. I gave myself a lot of personal boundaries when decided to draw mcyt stuff based on my own comfort.

Rule 1 is no sexualization or gore, basically keep things in the realm of the same rating as the hermits.

Rule 2 is that my designs would only be based on skins, lore, and fanon, and never anything around their irl selves.

Rule 3 is not to draw anything that was more than interpretive in relation to romantic vs platonic.

Rule 0.5, the only exceptions to be made would be for references to gags they themselves have made in videos.

I know some of my stuff pushes against the line on these rules, especially for jokes or replying to asks that use shipping terms, but they're ones I don't intend to ever fully cross with my own art. There's a lot of other amazing artists on here who are more comfortable with drawing that stuff.

So if you ever send in a request for art just know that ones that push against or cross these rules to me, I'm going to skip over them. Not anything against the request it's just my own rules. Sometimes I also just don't get to them, but I'd appreciate those rules being kept in mind when requesting.

Second topic starts with a bit of a story. So, I got introduced to the life series through a Grian animation that popped up when I was in my more standard annual hermitcraft phase. The first thing I watched of the life series was thus Grian's videos of 3rd life and double life very out of order and jumping all over the place.

Cause of that the very first thing I ever saw in relation to flower husbands was after Jimmy was already dead, and it was Scott talking about how his husband is dead after the desert war, telling Grian "see this is why I don't trust Jimmy with anything, because he's incompetent. I did warn you all." and it never really recovered from that first impression for me. It actually took me a long time to figure out it was more than a one off joke to call him his husband, cause it felt like every time I saw a scene with Scott he was just insulting Jimmy or begrudgingly putting up with him in a not very funny way. I really do not vibe with them as the flower husbands cause of that.

(That said I do adore both of them separately, and they are very entertaining as exes. Scott's just a lot more enjoyable as part of GGG and the divorcees, and I am very susceptible to the 'Jimmy bullying joke didn't quite land and I'm now just uncomfortable' low tolerance problem.)

Third is, I have actually watched an empires 1 pov now! Yay! But it was Lizzie's and there honestly isn't all that much related to them in her pov. There was actually not nearly as much related to others as I expected in general. Still loved it but didn't provide much is far as context for the season as a whole. Plus I'm unhappy with Scott's design for it and wanna redesign it. So basically I drew them from 3rd life instead.

#ask #notes

[yanderemommabean]

Are you okay?

I want to say yes, I really do, but the fights here are getting out of hand and violent to the point guns are being pulled and Sammy is being threatened to be put down by my grandfather just so he doesn't have to deal with the drama anymore.

This whole fight thing isn't about Sammy, it never was, it's about my abusive grandmother having control and being just under the legal radar enough that the cops won't do anything when they're involved. Video evidence or not the most we can try to do is assisted living or a mental facility for 72 hours but even then that isn't a guarantee.

She keeps saying "You're grand dad is gonna put that dog down and I'm gonna watch!" and "I'm gonna beat the shit out of you! I'm kicking you out! I want you out!" simply because she wants to hurt me.

I'm applying for dollar tree, waffle house, Walmart, all the jobs I can but there's the issue of 1) I don't have my own car and the city where the jobs are are like ten miles away so even if walking is what I had to do there's no way id arrive on time or be safe walking back. 2) every time I try to go to an interview she tries her best to make me late by either threatening me, blocking my way, saying asinine things that don't have anything to do with the situation and so on.

My mom is always on my grandmas side because in her eyes its easier just to give the woman what she wants, to the point they're upset I got the cops involved when she started to hit me. So, no support there. I have no IRL friends or family to stay with, as they're all states away and I don't have any money, not even enough for a diet coke at a gas station. Mom doesn't see this as abusive and me losing a very close companion, she thinks I'm being the issue by not just giving up and taking it. She even rolls her eyes when I tell her how hurtful things are becoming and how I'm becoming suicidal over this, and even told me when I said I'm going to disappear one day because of grandma "good we've been waiting".

When the cops are called, they laugh under their breath and don't take the situation as serious because my grandmother plays her part so well, and I'm currently trying to get ahold of the prosecutor to see if i can do an involuntary stay with her because she is technically a threat to herself and others.

I'm heart broken that by the time my grandfather shows up on labor day, he's going to keep his word and shoot Sammy, just because pacifying and coddling my grandmother is easier than telling her to shut the fuck up and quit acting psycho.

Sammy doesn't bite, doesn't make meses, doesn't even bark, all he does is want inside and to rest after being outside for hours. Grandma hasn't given me a reason as to why she hates him and wants him dead other than "I'm your grandma, you show me respect!'

I want to get out, but if jobs aren't gonna call me back so I can visit a friend in another state soon, I might just have to watch my dog die or get rid of him entirely simply because my family can never be on my side and tell my grandmother "No".

-Mommabean

#im in shambles #this hurts so much #anon asks #anon confessions are amazing #mommabean #i have no resources to go to #no money for an uber #no car to drive to a shelter #nothing #im stuck

[alostlittleriverlotus]

it also doesn't help that the demonization I receive for "controlling" MA is literally me being disabled and disordered. I need them around more, they help with my chronic boredom. The thoughts I get when they're gonna are so bad. I like doing stuff with them so I call a lot in their free time so we can play games, just see each other, I can see their pets, or we can watch videos together. Last night we called and they just watched American Horror Story. They kept ranting to me when I don't really care and have 0 interest, but I loved seeing their reactions. Even if I'm needy for a call, they may not be or they'll know it's not good for me so we don't call. They won't pick up and will be stern with me in a caring way.

We text all the time cause we're super close. It's not me controlling them. Sometimes I do have episodes if they leave suddenly or I'll get anxious cause I have literally been texting people before they died before, kinda makes you fucked up. I also worry if they're getting lectured or yelled at by their dad a lot or if they're in trouble when they're out and about cause I have a very fearful worldview. That doesn't make me an evil abuser. We have a good system and they work to reassure me.

And anything they do for me, I do the same for them in other ways. Reassurance, support, hugs when they're upset. Especially with how much they doubt themselves cause of their family or people infantilizing them cause they "act" young (which is just them being goofy or silly or sometimes age regressing due to emotional stress), they often need extra reassurance and such. Even when I am experiencing less empathy and can't care or relate, I do it because I can still logic the fact that this is important even if I don't understand it.

The fact people will see me and MA texting a lot, having some issues cause of both of our issues, and spending time together and think I'm manipulating and gaslighting and abusing and controlling them is fucked up. And I know they very much would do the same even if it was irl because I need more help. It's the same way my parents and mental health professionals I saw labelled me as entitled and a spoiled brat because I would require help and be unable to work before twisting it into the fact i didn't want to work.

I hate people so much. MA is dependent on me cause they don't feel like they can go to others most of the time. I have literally flat out told them "you need more supports than just me. I can't always give you what you need and it is stressful for me to always be the one helping you. Please at least go to your boyfriend or something for stuff that triggers me." Like. Yeah there's toxic parts of our relationship. I am just so sick of every single thing with me and my life being lumped into negative, evil, abusive, etc. I have never been allowed to show emotions without it resulting in that, including my autistic meltdowns. I was 12 and told there must be something seriously wrong with me and treated like I was a harmful monster that would hurt everyone out of my control.

MA and I will never have a "normal" relationship. And yes, we need each other. Maybe that's fucked up, but it doesn't matter. I've seen us at our worst and our best. I've seen them come to be confident and self assured, less dependent on everyone else, not needing as much validation from people over every tiny decision. I've seen them change their hair, their style, their name, their pronouns. I've seen them question their asexuality and be insecure because they realized they don't fit the precise 1000% asexual no sex idea of it like they had previously thought. I have seen them go from being obedient to their family to a fault to standing up for themselves, learning to say no, doing what makes them happy instead of what makes others happy. And I want to see that side of us celebrated instead of people around us demonizing this relationship.

I'm disabled. I am always going to be reliant on someone. I need narc supply because my crashes are dangerous to me. I need them to help with my chronic boredom cause those thoughts are terrifying. I'm going to need help physically as well. It's not wrong to need to rely on others and coming from a hyperindependent kid growing up, it's fucked up to guilt me over finally being dependent on someone.

The way people see negative stuff from trauma victims and assume the absolute worst and will gladly lump us in with abusers is sickening. I'm allowed to be psychotic, to have trauma responses, to have episodes without being treated like a monster. MA has always allowed that for me and I work so hard to understand my trauma and have the best relationship we can. The fact their friends would call me toxic and manipulative and say I'm gaslighting them over me having delusions and a fragile grip on reality is disgusting and hurtful. I hate it.

#trauma #cptsd #narcissism #actually narcissistic #actually disabled #actually traumatized #actually autistic #rant #semiverbal #brain fog so it might not make sense

[catenby-perineum]

every other odd number for the NSFW ask post >:3c

How about one upping that and doing every odd :P

Tag your biggest tumblr crush.

I'm finding the criteria difficult, so a few~ @sirs-dumbpuppy @foxtoy17 and oh dear god I changed my mind because I'm realizing a lot of my mutuals and people I flirt with are all puppies or foxes and do I have a newly discovered type oh no

Ahem.

3) Have you washed your hands since you last had an orgasm?

Yes~ It's not as "hehe kinky" an answer as some might hope but I am "mildly" put off my being dirty- nowhere near a phobia but enough where I think "Oh I should wash my hands".

I rinse- not wash- my hands a ton throughout the day if I do damn near anything, it's part of a mental hang up I got towards playing on disgusting snack-caked controllers from people who went "What do you mean it's gross to get cheetos in your joystick?"

And I wash my hands whenever it feels relevant, or use some hand sanitizer- but yeah I've washed between then and now, Sorry to say~

5) What’s the best orgasm you’ve had in the past few months?

It was probably a few nights ago, listening to audio of the moaning and begging of a friend (with benefits). There's been a lot to turn me on to the extreme these past few days, and listening to that definitely sent me over the edge nicely during that particular session.

Unfortunate it was masturbation but what are you gonna do.

7) What’s the soonest after meeting someone that you’ve slept with them? 

2 years, round about. It was a long distance relationship, we made sure we believed ourselves truly in love before "risking" both the money and general stress of going to a whole different country to meet someone.

9) When was the last time you watched porn?

Oh jeez, sometime this week I'm sure.

I generally don't "watch" porn, more of an image or (sometimes) game kind of person, but it comes up in rotation- I'd say less than a full week.

11) Do you prefer tongue or fingers? 

I realize the phrasing's intent, but I have an answer no doubt. Tongue.

I really, really like mouths and tongues- and oral turns me on a lot. Hands to me are adequate, appreciated even- and there's certainly a rush to handplay, but I like mouths what can I say.

13) Have you ever had your own underwear in your mouth? Have you ever had someone else’s underwear in your mouth? Has your underwear ever been in someone else’s mouth?

I have not.

15) Do you ever suck on a dildo while you masturbate?

As I revealed to a previous anon, I don't own any toys- but beyond that I've also never played with any toys that weren't mine either- so nope :/

17) Has anyone ever watched you masturbate live online? Have you ever watched someone masturbate live online?

Yes and Yes, I recall doing skype calls on tumblr's old nsfw side.

19) What underwear do you have on right now?

Boxer briefs, they are dark gray with a light gray band, very non-descript sadly, though a bit 'worn' due to a lot of flirty chats today potentially exposing it to pre-cum. Who's to say.

21) Has a neighbour ever seen you naked? Did you like it?

No, and I doubt I would. The rush of almost being seen is one thing- I really do find it less than appealing to have non-consenting individuals dragged into a sex scene- including just seeing someone naked you don't plan on seein'.

23) Have you ever watched people having sex?

True blue voyeurism- I have not. I don't think watching a porn video or what have you counts so no, I've never watched someone else fuck IRL.

25) Does anyone you know in real life know about this blog?

No, and hopefully it stays that way, though to be fair to my nerves it wouldn't really matter much I don't think.

I'd be like "Oh yeah, that's me. Don't look at my nudes" and they'd be like "Oh gross, yeah I gotcha" the gross being familiar not rude.

Doesn't mean I'm particularly stoked at the concept lol

27) When was the last time you had sex?

Was sorta hoping this wasn't an odd question because I did see it on the list.

But sure, what do I gain by hiding or lying.

It's been about a decade.

Not speaking on the relationship in detail, I met someone I liked, we started a LDR, after about 1.5-2 years they came to visit for a month, we had sex among many other things, and they went home. I then failed to make that distance any shorter due to personal struggles, and we broke up after a little over a decade together.

That was my one sexual partner and it's been that long since we physically interacted due to a never ending LDR.

29) Describe a typical masturbation session.

Well, I'll go with the more embarrassing kind- the usual porn kind. Because being silly alleviates some of the overall embarrassment of the question lol

I'll open up a few of my preferred hentai sites, check out some familiar tags (-ai generated, of course) and open up new tabs of around a dozen or so things that turn me on from artists I find to have appealing styles.

Then I'll remove or pull down my briefs and tap ctrl+tab through these art pieces until I finish.

I don't often use lube for no good reason beyond my hands are smooth and my cock isn't bothered- sometimes I use lotion- a few times I've used actual lube, and I cum on a folded paper towel for easy clean up.

How's that for tantalizingly told (not at all) 😜 If you want me to put effort into making my actions sound hot, that's a DM situation.

31) What’s something that turns you on, but you’re a bit embarrassed by?

Answered prior- short answer paws -> the intersection of foot-fetish and furry.

33) Have you ever gotten turned on at work (or while WFH)? What did you do about it?

No, I don't believe so.

I CAN distinctly remember being turned on prior to work and having some fun to ease that- but work has always been far too soul-sucking to get much excitement out of me.

35) Which one of your holes do you most want to be filled right now?

I have no interest in anal, though no experience either but just really not interested- so it's kind of no contest. But beyond no contest, I rather enjoyed using my mouth for eating out, I think I'd probably enjoy suckin' as well despite the lack of experience. It's not just a no-contest it's a solid 70/NULL split I think.

37) Do you own any toys? What’s your favourite?

Answered prior, None.

39) Do you have anyone else’s nudes on your phone right now?

"indirectly" yes, due to having chat apps like discord on there that could no doubt be easily accessed. "directly" as in saved, no, because while I have done that in the past, I don't feel comfortable having other people's nudes on my phone- it's so easy to "get at" you know?

I should probably make a habit of logging out of discord etc to double down, but there's my answer.

41) Do you like being called a slut or whore in bed?

Overall a no.

I find slut to be a very positive term, to the point where I could be pressed to a point of finding it appealing to be labeled in bed- but it generally (not exclusively by any means) doesn't come up as I'm a top and you know how various terms usually land.

Whore is also positive to me, but far less intriguing as a personal label. I am a slut, not a whore- no I can't elaborate it's a gut feeling thing.

43) How do you feel about swinging or partner swapping? Does the idea turn you on?

I am neutral and no (as in neutral). I prefer knowing who I'm wish, but then again most swinging scenarios have a vague sense of acquaintanceship- still my answers remain unchanged.

45) What’s the kinkiest thing you’ve ever asked someone to do while sexting?

Oh jeez, what would it be...

You know what, due to too many encounters and bad memory, I genuinely think it comes down to asking a partner to record themselves fingering themselves and then licking their fingers clean.

They did <3

47) If you had 5 mins alone to get yourself off right now, without your phone, what would you do and what would you imagine?

Alright, let's get aggressive then. I'd knock shit outta my way on the bed, grab some paper towels for cleanup because I just can't otherwise, I'd use lotion which I know where to locate in my room to try and speed things along, and I would try to go at a brisk and constant fast pace until I needed to speed up to end and I think I would have to rely on what's most vividly present in my mind if I want to come close to 5 minutes, so I'd mentally replay some recent sexts shared with mutuals; I can remember those More than well enough.

I... Don't think I would make the time limit, I'm not gonna BS and go "Oh I can't cum quick, that's just not me 😎" I very much can, but the rushed situation with no visual stimuli and still being masturbation would all add up to like, maybe 8 min at the fastest. But that would be a genuine shot at it.

49) What’s a sex act you think is overrated? What’s a sex act you think is underrated?

Overrated: Missionary I suppose. It's great, but it's pretty- standard. It definitely has it's benefits to some, no doubt.

Underrated: Handjobs/fingering. I feel like between the two handjobs are more underrated, but maybe that's me, but no I think handjobs can be extremely hot- you can really invest in your partner during it and it's just a form of sex with a lot of variety and potential to combine with other acts like making out or dirty talk- IDK I think a handie can be done well.

51) Do you shave your pubic hair?

Not always, but I prefer how it looks shaved, so I shave when I can/when I know I'll be showing myself (mostly).

53) Where’s the most unusual place you’ve masturbated?

Sleeping bag at sleep-over. Not a proud moment.

55) Have you ever been so turned on that someone noticed?

Outside of situations with a partner where that's kinda the point, I don't think so.

I feel like any time I would have come close to being visibly turned on I was also borderline invisible to the situation or any other person. Pretty sure no.

57) Have you ever gotten cum on your clothes before? Did anyone see that shouldn’t have?

Yes I have; No they haven't.

59) Who’s the most inappropriate person you’ve ever had a fantasy about?

I don't think I have an answer that qualifies for this.

Maybe an ex? But is that like "inappropriate" enough?

61) Have you ever masturbated to someone you know’s selfies before?

Based on the context I think this is limiting to like, local people you know, co-workers or what not- the kind of people you'd add on facebook (I think), in which case no.

63) What’s the weirdest porn category you’ve ever searched for?

Female Heroine Defeat Mind Break - (minus) a million things I don't want to see.

I could defend myself, but I just remembered this having happened before, and realized yeah that probably counts for the answer.

65) What are your top five favourite blogs to masturbate to? Tag them!

Can I simultaneously cop out and be honest and say I don't really jack it to blogs?

People, sure, but there's not a single blog on this platform that I go to browse and get off to, even if it was full of nudes of the owner, just isn't my vibe.

I'd rather use actual porn, or have a fun chat with someone in my DMs. Just how it is. My answer wouldn't change in this case- but doesn't help that modern tumblr is like, way less porn filled in this sector. It's there! But it's not "there" if you know what I mean. Still wouldn't.

67) If you had 5 mins alone to get yourself off with porn right now, what would you type in the search bar?

5 minutes again? I don't have time to actually explore.

Score:>=50 -ai_generated

lmao

69) Are you masturbating right now?

No, far too invested in the plot of these silly questions :P

71) Start typing out your dirtiest fantasy you can think of and don’t stop til you get so embarrassed you can’t go on any longer. Just make sure it’s actually something you’re into!

Hmm. So stop when I physically seize, alright.

I want them showing off their pretty new tail plug, and I want to congratulate them as I sit down to relax. They crawl over on all fours and beg for me

I'm too weak for this shit, oof.

Not my only fantasy, but I thought what's one I could actually type- I was wrong.

73) Would you do a cum-walk?

I do know what this is referring to, no.

75) What’s the messiest you’ve ever got when masturbating on your own?

It isn't pretty, but I've had some sessions where I just, have too much cum.

I've had it go across my legs, my desk, the floor, SOMEHOW 1/5 of my bed and across multiple blankets.

All this while being poised to just be caught by a paper towel or full on towel and somehow my body went "No. Mess now."

77) If you could fuck anyone at all right now, who would it be? Do you know them in real life? Do they know you like them? 

It would probably be a good handful of my mutuals, as safe an answer as that is.

No, and yes~

79) What’s the last object you put into your own body for sexual reasons?

Nada, apologies for my lack of exploration.

81) Where’s the most unusual place you’ve had sex? Did you cum?

A BNB. Perhaps that's not a kind place to do it, but I mean, also most BNBs are fucking up the housing market so IDK where the morality really lies.

No I did not cum, though I was serviced for a very long time. I found it a wonderful experience.

83) What’s your dirtiest secret?

I met my longest romantic relationship through doing just this, on this same platform. I effectively posted dick and impressed someone with a kind heart- weird.

85) Have you ever put your finger in your own ass?

No, I really just don't have any interest in exploring my ass. If I were to it'd be with someone and with sufficient build up; I just have no interest.

87) Have you ever used panties to masturbate? 

No- but- not gonna lie- kind of appealing.

89) Have you ever slid into someone’s DMs? Did it work? If yes, what was your technique?

Yes I have, depends on what "work" means- if you mean getting laid I've never tried, if you mean sexting then yes- my technique is pretty simple. I just respond to what they have going on and offer genuine advice, support, or compliments depending on the context.

Just be genuine.

Don't- or rather I don't- go around being painfully horny at people.

Damn near everyone has their moments of intense horniness, some of us a lot of the time- but it is genuinely off-putting more often than not if that's like the ONLY thing you get outta someone.

Be genuine, be kind, be respectful if it ever tilts towards "no", that kinda thing. Going around going "Can I see your butt" ain't gonna do nothing but annoy people. Be genuine- respond to a recent question they posed through a DM if they have "open DMs" somewhere on their blog, don't go at people expecting them to be down to clown or to act as beat off material.

These are people. Talk to em like people. If it turns out you both enjoy chatting and also find the idea interesting, then you might get to something more spicy. Maybe not though! That's not the correct end-goal so maybe re-assess I guess, IDK.

91) What is your sexual orientation?

If you would have asked me 8 years ago, I'd say straight. 5 years ago I'd say "kinda" bi. And today, fuck if I exactly know but I kinda love it.

With my own gender falling through the grates and me feeling more like myself without it, I have suddenly found myself like... way more open to like all sex. I've always thought people looked great, but it's like I lost my gender and went "Oh. Wait. There's no societal standard for what someone like 'me' is supposed to be getting into romantically. Why not. All? Yeah? Yeah!"

I assume I give off a different energy, but this open sexual attraction is rather new to me, like brand new.

I haven't suddenly become insatiably attracted directly to every body type and feature, but like, that's not a bad thing. Having preferences and tastes is fine, and I'm happy to have broken down as many forced preferences as I have in my life to find so much more joy in so many different body types.

What I have become is way fuckin' more queer. I went from "Oh, I mean, maybe a guy, they can be hot" to "Bud, you'll have to tell me what you are after, let's get to the fuckin' because you look amazing", hyperbole but it gets the point across.

So I guess I'm bi. But like, no strings attached this time.

I like it. :)

93) Do you have any piercings or tattoos?

No, and I'm not really interested in piercings (on me)- tattoos on the other hand~

95) Do you like being tied up?

No/neutral. I haven't tried and it sounds unappealing, but not so unappealing I wouldn't try and find out.

97) What was your most shame-filled orgasm? Why?

post-break-up old DMs. That was a bad one, glad I'm doing better now.

99) Admit something sexual that you’ve never told anyone else before.

You ain't gonna believe me when I say it because it is one of those "Well sure you asked for that you said you're into x".

I'd like a footjob. Never said it before.

I don't have high hopes for the experience, but I can't like this feature and not try it at least once in a directly sexual manner instead of just "present and adding to the experience vicariously". Maybe someday, or maybe not, who knows.

Woo. That took me quite a while since I talk too damn much.

Fun though :) Glad I initially misread the challenge lol.

#nsft #t4t nsft

[seasurfacefullofclouds1]

Ok I’m sorry but that post you reblog from Sterre it’s kind of sad because basically it feels like she’s blaming HIM instead of his team…is HIS fault that they’re still around, is HIS fault that the same fans are following him around, is HIS fault that no other magazine is offering a cover, everything is his fault apparently and that’s just bs! Not trying to be rude but she’s saying exactly the same that larries say (but with better words) and suddenly, because she’s Sterre, everyone agrees…idk, i maybe I read the whole thing wrong and you’re gonna call me names or saying I’m ZOT3 or whatever, but I simply don’t agree (an also no, I’m not unfollowing you because I enjoy reading your blog but this??? No uhu!

Hello!

First of all, thanks for the message!

My thinking is that in the end, it really doesn’t matter if the decision-making comes from Louis or his team, because the outcome is the same.

Louis’ music is really great, getting better all the time, but only his fans will hear it.

If there’s no outreach, no risk taking, no live performances, only the same promo to handfuls of fans and stalkers, then it doesn’t matter if it comes from Louis or his team. People who watch 2-3 minutes of Lorraine are still going to think, “Oh it’s Louis from One D.”

They won’t know who he’s working with. What he’s listening to. Who his musical heroes are. What inspires him. What he’s looking forward to. Where did he love touring the most? What fan project did he like during the pandemic? How did he prepare for his livestream? What made him write Copy of a Copy of a Copy? Why isn’t Change on the album? What was the process like trying to finish an album and tour at the same time? Has his band heard any of the new music? How did he pick the team for the music video?

There are a thousand better ways to promote his solo brand than, “Is 1D getting back together?”

And - it’s very clear that Louis enjoys and interacts with people who stalk him. His team isn’t doing that? They pick the same fans to receive special gifts and opportunities. Louis could democratize the process, because he recognizes these people irl, but he doesn’t. The same people go to listening sessions. The same people get shipped complimentary merch. Kelly McFarland, who prefers 1D over solo Louis, gets special access to Louis.

I know I also get accused of blaming Louis when he may still have some constraints. It’s not just that Louis feels “comfortable” with his status quo, but that he has been traumatized by his professional history, by rejection, by the huge fall in the fanbase, by trying very hard and then falling very hard. So he sticks with what worked in the past, even if it’s not a strategy that builds any credibility for him.

This is MAINLY Matt Vines’ fault. Unfortunately, Matt has never understood Louis’ strengths nor his fanbase. Matt goes by numbers and algorithms; he doesn’t get social media or the passion and fire behind it. Matt reacts to circumstances; as we could see from the AFHF documentary, Matt is not proactive. The ideas shouldn’t all come from Louis. Matt should realize that Simon Jones needs to go. Matt should build Louis’ brand and PR in the USA. That’s his job.

#louis tomlinson #matt vines #also anon #lots of people follow and unfollow me randomly so #you do what feels right to you #my numbers fluctuate all the time - I’m not too bothered

[last-capy-hupping]

So, I was gonna do a detailed recap of my thoughts on Top Gun: Maverick, but now I’m just gonna hit the highlights. As for why I saw this movie on 4th of July weekend? Because my fiancé loves planes. And I owe him one because he watched Dune with me. Also, I liked the first one because of the iconic homoerotic Volleyball Montage scene. Anyway, here goes…

1) This sure is military propaganda. But not the outwardly jingoistic, American Sniper kind. It’s the fun kind, where it’s about how great and fun being an aviator for the Navy. And also, the Navy needs to have fewer rules and regulations and just let mavericks like Maverick (hahaha) do what they want. This isn’t a criticism of the military. This is a criticism of bureaucrats who want the military to have to follow rules and be accountable.

2) Related to point 1: the movie opens with an anti-drone message, but it’s not one of the ones that make sense. If Eye in the Sky was trying to tell us that drones were bad because it makes killing real people seem like killing video game characters, then the first ten minutes of Top Gun: Maverick is trying to tell us that drones are bad because Maverick won’t get to fly cool planes, and Lockheed Martin (I guess?) will lose out on some of its contracts. (My fiancé also added that the mission that made up the rest of the plot could’ve probably been flown risk-free and more effectively with drones.)

3) Ed Harris is an infinitely more fuckable old man than Tom Cruise (caked in stage makeup), but he’s only in the first ten minutes of the movie. He’s a pro-drone admiral, and you think that he’ll be the villain. He won’t be. This movie doesn’t really have a villain, apart from bureaucrats who care about safety and responsible defense spending.

4) Miles Teller was literally the perfect choice to play Goose’s son. And his call sign is Rooster. Get it? Also, for the first time in my life, I’m sexually attracted to a man with an 80s pornstache. Well done, Miles Teller. Well done.

5) The movie teases us early on with the idea that there’s gonna be a homoerotic rivalry between Rooster (this isn’t a dick joke, it’s a bird joke) and Hangman (played by Glen Powell, who as far I can tell, can only play pilots; astronauts; and cheeky, annoying men who fly things) that will echo the iconic homoerotic rivalry between Maverick and Iceman. This is a lie. Do not get your hopes up. Keep your dick in your pants. There’s nothing there.

6) You know how we all loved that homoerotic volleyball montage in the first movie? Well, this movie gives us a…foam football in the ocean montage. It’s…kinda homoerotic, I guess.

7) I feel like someone told Tom Cruise how flamingly gay the first movie was, and he set out to correct it.

8) On the other hand, he and Iceman (in his phone as Ice) text a lot and have more chemistry over text than he does with Jennifer Connelly, who is playing Kelly McGillis in this movie. (The character is Penny, but she’s basically replacement Kelly McGillis because they decided that Kelly McGillis didn’t age well enough or something.)

9) Val Kilmer is back to play Iceman, and he was happy to do it, but like…Iceman is also suffering from the same cancer that stole Val Kilmer’s voice IRL, and it’s too close to reality, and it’s too sad. Also, Iceman dies. From the cancer. Fuck. This. Movie.

10) John Hamm is in this movie. He’s also an infinitely more fuckable middle-aged man than Tom Cruise, and he’s in this movie way more than Ed Harris is, but he…doesn’t do anything. The movie makes poor use of John Hamm.

11) The main emotional core of this movie is the quasi-father-son conflict between Rooster and Maverick. It’s fine. It works. Neither one of them die.

12) Early in the movie, Rooster plays “Great Balls of Fire”, the song that Maverick, Goose, and Goose’s wife Meg Ryan played in Top Gun while baby Rooster sat on the piano. Everyone in the bar immediately knows it. Everyone in the bar. Not just Rooster’s friends in the navy. Everyone in the bar. I don’t think that “Great Balls of Fire” is that famous. Maybe they all saw Top Gun and immediately remembered that scene?

13) In spite being at least sixty, Maverick flies the impossible mission (and yes, there was a trailer for the new Mission Impossible movie, Dead Reckoning: PART ONE) and leads it because he’s still the best dog fighter there is. I haven’t spoiled anything. I knew that he was gonna fly it. You did. Your dog did. The people buried in the cemetery closest to the theater did.

14) Absolutely nothing in this movie is surprising, but that’s fine and oddly comforting.

15) I’m not a man, and I don’t have a dick, but I did get hard watching planes take off and land on an aircraft carrier while Danger Zone played. Granted, that could’ve been the theater vibrating, but I am glad that this movie gave me the ability to live vicariously through Tom Cruise while he lives vicariously through all of the F18s that the military let him use for propaganda…I mean out of the goodness of their hearts.

16) The mission is destroying a uranium enrichment plant for an unnamed “enemy” nation without having to engage their 5th generation fighter jets in a dog fight. They just refer to them as “The Enemy.”

Anyway, the country is Iran, and the planes are a loan from Russia. Very cool, very vague and Cold War.

17) There’s a moment where you think that they’re gonna make you watch Tom Cruise pretend to fuck Jennifer Connelly, who is playing Kelly McGillis. They don’t. I appreciated it.

18) I kept hearing “North Island” as “Northern Ireland,” so I kept wondering if Maverick was gonna do a raid against the IRA. That’s on me, not the movie, but I wanted to mention it.

19) Even though she was a scientist and instructor in the first movie, Penny now owns the bar on North Island. She plays a very unfunny prank on Tom Cruise where she makes him buy everyone in the bar drinks and maxes out his credit card. I almost had an anxiety attack and wanted to run out of the theater to check my banking app. Not cool, movie, not cool!

Anyway, those are my thoughts.

#top gun #top gun: maverick #my thoughts in no particular order

[nonamem9]

my most vivid dream as of recent (probably because i woke up earlier at 7 am then sleep again). February 10 , 2022 (Thursday)

its daytime, i was back in the white square house again, in my room (which is the center of the house), mom is a cunt so i wasted so much electricity by plugging unnecessary things. the speaker system is kinda weird with the volume as i adjust it. i got out of the house

i became a runaway child (because i dont like my mother) and my clothes are what i was wearing before i go back to sleep, im walking on this street and Ping Lacson was campaigning but his name is Kiko Pangiligan, i climb on this garden patch where the wall look like castle crenellations as i sang along with his campaign song for a short bit, then i am suddenly at this house.

im at this beige house that for some reason everyone (probably my previous classmates and neighbors) gathered around here, i walked back nd forth around the front porch where everyone is. there's this one guy talking about pc culture on youtube like its 2016-2017. i and 4 others try to sneak in this house, its just a kitchen and a cube in there. i walk away from this house

im at this street that lowkey reminded me of one of my neighborhoods while we're in poverty in Mandaluyong, Tubbo (at least 5'10 but probably 6'0) was there walking, i tried to high five him "Hey Tubbo!" (despite not watching him that much.) but i realized he was wearing a white Sony WH-1000XM3 headphones but they're smaller, he's having a phone call while looking at people. as i realized it i covered my mouth with my left hand eyes wide open, looking at my back looking at other people who saw it. the girl standing at my right is unimpressed. Tubbo didn't noticed the happening, and i continued walking.

Suddenly its night time and i'm at a bridge with my former male classmate from all over the years, one of them, let's call him Jay Dee, the main guy of this group, told us to go to the other side of the bridge (its a road yet no vehicle is using it.) and we ran.

this is how i run in the dream: (im wearing knee socks to cover my legs)

(M9 in Nov here saying that the run is more dramatic, video from the original feb drafts)

abut a bit more stiff and slower, yet i travel twice the distance compared to real life. i remember covering the glare of the lights using my left hand. we reached to the sidewalk and im one of the first 5 to made it. we decided to cross the road again and Jay Dee gives us a surprise, burgers, chicken and fries. i got it myself way too early instead of him distributing himself and apparently the burgers have this "certificate of authenticity" which is just a handwritten note from his mom made with a piece of paper that reads "Hi thank you for the [somethinig somthing here i forgot]! :)", which is taped on the burger wrap along with the brown sauce for the siopao. i do not know why is it there. this next section is gong to get weird.

its day time again (near noon ish) and im still holding my food in this public transit concourse/tourist attraction whatever and my mom is here again but even more of a dick, apparently we're gonna ride on a ferry but it looks like this on the side.

[image]

its half as wide as a bus on the inside, absolutely ridiculous. I Never Watched Encanto but I distinctly remember a female member of the madrigal family (M9 in November here, its most likely Mirabel with glasses) is heavily involved and is trying to stop my mother. me and my sister are inside the "ferry" sitting on the left side holding her ipad with the purple case (its broken and trashed irl) and im witnessing this bullshit as the ""ferry"" moves. said encanto character complained about this section where it has no water. i got out of the """ferry""" and climb on these scaffoldings and i touch, no, played around these golden atari (M9 in Nov. here, its more like a hookah with no tube) lookin joysticks???? there' are several of them at this area, they move few metal rods. and turns out my mom was possessed by DICK GUMSHOE‽‽‽‽‽ (in a brown coat) according to a sci-fi high tech ass tablet held by said madrigal family member.

[terrible image of a map.]

i woke up at 9 am.

note from november: golden circles are the joysticks, long yellow lines are the gates that are affected by it which are connected in sync with the other joysticks in varying ways like some sort of puzzle

#dreams #politics #filipino politics #election campaign #mcyt #tubbo #headphones