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#and it's all forgiven without many words - cause they both know whatever it was is no point being mad about any longer than necessary

dead-loch · 8 months

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wondering what my Deadloch folks think of this headcanon which I will be working into my fic:

Eddie throughout the season is very over-the-top homophobic in ways that, to me, obviously speak to someone who has repressed a part of themselves (I’d be interested to know how others feel about my read on that, specifically people who identify with wlw). The things she says are made to be as offensive as possible but they don’t strike me as coming from a place of hate (tbh this might be due to the writers and the actor, but again, let me know if you think differently).

(Homophobia stemming from repression is not something that needs to automatically be forgiven or I guess a better word might be it’s not an excuse, but it is an explanation. I don’t want to downplay it because it can cause real harm both inwardly and outwardly)

At the end, of course, she reveals she’s “done stuff” with women.

I’m wondering if Eddie-the-young-person (and let’s include here anywhere up to the age of 25 maybe? Idk how old you are or what kinda schooling you need in AUS), prior to her career in law enforcement, had tentatively been exploring queer relationships of some kind. But once beginning her career in law enforcement, (which, I mean, need I say more than that really) realised how Not Good of an environment it was for someone discovering they might be queer (whatever that may entail for her). And that for years she prioritised her own safety and sanity by adapting to a shitty, homophobic and sexist and racist environment and becoming “one of the boys” as a sort of armour. Of course, this armour would not ultimately protect her from being thrown to the wolves and blamed for the death of her partner, and boy was that a piss off.

Throughout her time in Deadloch, Eddie is (maybe for the first time ever) surrounded primarily by queer people and by queer women specifically. She goes from an environment of toxic masculinity, one she’s spent a very long time adapting to and-maybe-ingratiating herself to, to an environment that is, well, nearly the complete opposite. If it was me, I think I’d be angry. And maybe feel betrayed. Like… I could have had this all along?

Holly, I believe, is the only woman Eddie has had a close relationship with prior to Deadloch, and even then, it was through her partner on the force. But we know that Eddie and Holly were close enough because Eddie keeps calling her. But this one relationship (and here I mean friendship, not that there was anything romantic or sexual between them necessarily), to me, seemed important to her and not just in a “you’re my work partner’s wife” way. It felt to me like Eddie, on some level, really valued that relationship but that it was also something she craved, again, on some level, and probably not on a conscious one.

Just… imagine chipping away at yourself for years and years so that you’re protected from poisonous hate, and then suddenly finding yourself in a place where others like you— or like the you-who-could/might-have-been— have allowed themselves to exist as they are. (And again, this is fully said without judgement. We deserve to feel safe and that can take many forms and should be up to the individual to decide for themselves what is best for them at any moment in time.)

I can’t speak for queer Australians (although I’d love to hear from you) but even just discovering that marriage rights were only afforded to queer couples in 2017 pushes this narrative even more. For comparison, my country legalised “same sex marriage” in 2005, with some provinces having legalised it as early as 2003, and civil marriages between “same sex” couples existing since 1999. I was 15 in 2005 and I can assure you it didn’t really make anything in my day-to-day life easier but it did mean… other people like me are out there. We didn’t have the world at our fingertips as readily as we do now, even so relatively recently.

#when I get a full night of sleep I’m suddenly having a million very clear thoughts #like Hm maybe I should do this more often #Deadloch #eddie redcliffe

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wonderloste · 1 year

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how remarkably dreary, it was. he can be forgiven for a critical eye; in the end, they do share one particular thing: the “cult of the jabberwock” offers many a memory, with their fervor, their rituals, how amadeu carried themselves in their presence. even so, their surroundings left much to be desired. they can have all their flashy parlor tricks, the ones that brighten the room if only for a moment but it does nothing to disguise the rubble and rot. is it so strange to long for more? when his own disciples discovered the church and it’s congregation that resided within it, they stood watch, they slaughtered, and from there the order was reborn. countless months were spent making it a home worthy to reside, countless more were spent on its rebirth—making it to his own tastes. ( it was beautiful. and this . . . )

“ you know, i do have another past time that could be put to use.” he hums, walking aimlessly around the church’s nave, carefully walking over remnants of both bone and viscera. his fingertips trace the shockingly barren walls, taking note of each slight crack in its surface. even something imperfect could be made perfect, in the end—and he is certain he is capable of such a feat. it’s only when he feels their eyes on him does his focus break, glancing back over his shoulder to speak, contemplative. “ i’m an artist, a painter; and a fairly good one at that, if i might add. renowned in high society london and whatnot.” a vague wave of his hand, the slight hint of pride in his voice eclipsed by a tone far more scathing. ( of course he was beloved, inside and out of his worship. he deserved it. ) his focus shifts again, staring a bit more intently at one of the chapel’s larger walls. this could work. “ do you have any offense to murals? larger, more grandiose art. it could be worthwhile, given our mutual cause. provide scenes from what we—you…—preach, give the lambs something to ingrain deep in their minds, an image of their want. what they pray to. it could be whatever you like, there could even be more. it is, however, entirely up to you.” here, his tone becomes more lighthearted, his next words in jest. “ but if you prefer your house of worship as it is, falling apart at its edges, by all means, don’t let me stop you.”

& RE : unprompted & always accepting / @londonfallen.

despite what impression the frumious bandersnatch may give of their demeanor and surroundings, they did so love beauty, in its most raw and feral form. they know what he is doing before he says a word, the way his critical eye grazes the decrepit church 'pon which the only color harbored without the help of their magic is the blood stains that have sunk so deeply into stone, scrubbing them does little to remove the viscera. they do not look up from where they sit at the pyre : legs crossed, perfect posture, one hand tucked under their chin whilst another watches with fixation as crystalline tufts of magic dance along their fingers. they are waiting for him to be done with it, a soft sigh passing their lips if only because they are melancholy at the current state of things.

this place is not their home, this run-down, grey fixture. for all the effort amadeu put into the outside of it, they never could bring themselves to touch the disgusting interior. flowers could only do so much : the world outside was easy to manipulate, but they are no artist 'pon wall.

"oh, do you?" their voice draws out in a way that would normally be mockery, but despite the instinctive tone, where normally they would have ignored such inquiry, silas is shortly given their full attention. the moment their eyes meet one-another, the dark expression 'pon their face lightens, face softening as they regard him now with unmistakable warmth. "yes. i do remember you mentioning your art, and rather often. you're proud of yourself. i wish you'd let me see it." they click their tongue, but smile after. come to think, they are not entirely certain of the last they had properly interacted with any form of art.

"admittedly, this place is depressing. as you can imagine, i've not put work into it since being driven here. i've loathed this chapel, a symbol of my imprisonment, for so long. but it has changed for the better, since my initial banishment. the stained glass..." their gaze shifts to the windows that lined the sides of the building all around. they were dim now, gray in color without the bandersnatch's magic to light them. "—where my contribution both began and died. i favor the graveyard. i favor nature, silas. oh, i love the outside world so. i was never meant to be caged in a bloody crypt."

with a huff, they push themselves from their seat and stroll to his side. their hand finds the small of his back, attention drawn to the large wall he'd so fixated on. "i don't understand it, peoples obsessions with insides of buildings. that being said ... i love art so dearly. if anyone is capable of making me see worth in the things i have 'til now disregarded, perhaps it is you?" a charming smile reveals their fangs as they turn towards him. "this is no house of worship, make no mistake. the true place my heart lies," they pause, nose scrunching, but hum at the end of said gesture, "well, perhaps i will show you that in person one day. but what worth i lack seeing in man-made structures, i put aplenty in you. this place is central, at the very least, to the cult's operations. and i trust you with all i have..."

they tilt their head as they look at him, smile dropping as a more grounded air falls over them. solemn, contemplative. their eyes shift maroon, however brief, before settling once more to the pink they oft rest at. they take silas's hand, kiss the back of it, then step away to walk up to the empty wall. 'pon the cold stone, they rest their palm.

"you know the truth behind the cult of the jabberwock," they muse, expression blank. it's a ruse, all of it. the cult is the means to an end, a grouping of people that amadeu can use to their own advantage. they mean nothing to him, both the people and their false doctrine. the things they pray for are lies. whilst they devote themselves to a fictional religion, the bandersnatch preys on powers, building themselves up in the shadows to kill the very idol of the cultist's worship. and yet.

"no. it is up to you." they smile once more, adoring this time whilst they turn to him. "do what you will. make something beautiful, mi amor, that would force even someone such as me to value these captive walls. you may be literal, if you wish. paint our false rituals and our false god. or — deceptive. hide the truth behind the stories i've weaved. capture your world, your doctrine, this world, my lies, the sundering of them all beneath the flames you've watched me dance for. all i ask—"

they glance to one of the windows, beyond which their grandiose graveyard lies completely opposite of these barren walls : clean, beautiful, bright, colorful. "—is that you cover the things i truly love most, honestly and without deception, in brilliant flora."

#i am feeding you so much content i better never hear another complaint abt not perceiving siladeu again KJENMRHKJNM #londonfallen #ʚ o. in character ɞ ⁄ you’ll lose your mind wandering for hours‚ may even decide to start talking to flowers.#ʚ c. bandersnatch ɞ ⁄ you go down just like holy mary‚ mary on a cross : your beauty never‚ ever scared me.#◟ ❥ silas + carisma : your heart knew the path‚ is this the place we used to love? am i the one you dreamt of? › londonfallen.

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buckyownsmylife · 3 years

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Cherry Bomb - Sebastian Stan smut

The one where your mob boyfriend will do anything to get you pregnant - including fucking you in front of his friends

Warnings: smut, exhibitionism, kind of praise kink, breeding kink, mob au, daddy kink, mention of diabetes in dirty talk? I swear it makes sense, squirting,

A/N: Thank you to my love, @sweetkingdomstarlight-blog for reading this over for me. This is for my own birthday celebration challenge! Like I explained here, I’m going to try to fill every single AU I listed with the characters I picked for the challenge, and since the deadline if May 27, these fics will be posted randomly, as I finish them, instead of on Thursdays, which are my usual one-shot posting days. Hope you guys like it!

Y/N’s P.O.V.

“Baby, come here.” The sound of his voice surprised me, almost making me drop the tray of cookies I was carrying. When Sebastian told me he’d have a meeting in his office for the better part of the evening, I’d anticipated a pretty boring day by myself - hence the idea of baking to try to occupy my mind with something.

I definitely didn’t expect to be called into said meeting, and couldn’t think of a good reason why that was the case. Still, I didn’t have any reason to disobey him either. In fact, I knew it better than to do that, by now.

So my feet took me in the direction of the only room in the house I didn’t get to spend much time in: his office, my curiosity driving me as much as my eagerness to see him again. It didn’t matter it had only been a couple of hours, I was always desperate for him and his touch.

Thankfully, it seemed like he felt the same. Upon seeing my face appear on the threshold of the door, his usually mean demeanor changed to welcome an excited - if not slightly mischievous - smile, and he reached out to me, almost anxious to feel me near again.

“There you are.” Once on his lap, I relished on the sensation of feeling safe and cared for. This man, who was the cause of so many people’s nightmares and shivers, only ever meant peace and bliss to me. “Where are your manners, honey? C’mon, greet my friends like the good girl I know you are.”

Startled, I took my face out of its preferred hiding spot - the crook of Sebastian’s neck - to finally take notice of the other men in the room: Chris and Anthony, my boyfriend’s closest associates.

“I’m sorry,” I was quick to retract myself, opening up a smile that I hoped would be enough to get me to be forgiven. “It’s nice to see you guys.” The men in question chuckled, and thankfully my minor misbehavior didn’t seem to have affected the atmosphere in the room too badly.

“It’s alright, sweetheart,” Anthony nodded towards me, his eyes glinting with something I didn’t quite understand. “We all know how you can get when Sebastian calls for you.” My face warmed up with this acknowledgment, and I fought the instinct to hide it against my boyfriend again. Meanwhile, said boyfriend just chuckled lightly, rubbing circles on my back as if he knew it eased my embarrassment somewhat.

“You know I’m just as crazy when you’re around, princess.” That did make me feel a little bit better, and the comments from the other men only helped me further.

“Crazy, possessive, insane…” Anthony counted, his head tilting from one side to another with each word that fell from his lips.

“When she’s around and when she isn’t,” Chris added. I didn’t have to look at my boyfriend to know that he was steaming as he stared his friends down - the fingers that were possessively pressing down on my hips told me as much.

“If you’re done trying to get a kick out of me…” He warned, finally turning his attention completely to me. “Baby, it’s almost time.” I glanced at the clock before realizing that he was right.

Ever since Sebastian decided he wanted to impregnate me, he’d been fucking me around the clock, paying attention to what the doctors said about fertility cycles and prime mating hours, never letting me spend more than sixty minutes without his cum deep inside of me.

“Okay…” I agreed, trying to understand what was his plan, since the other mob bosses’ stances made it pretty clear that the meeting wasn’t over and Sebastian didn’t seem to intend to call it off either.

“Then I think we better start now, huh?” His hand squeezed my thigh, just as a pang of arousal went straight to my already overflowing cunt when his words finally made sense. “Get to work, honey.”

It was an order I’d be stupid not to follow - but I didn’t want to disobey it either. With trembling fingers, I slowly unbuttoned my dress and let it pool down on the floor until I was standing in my underwear in front of my boyfriend and his closest friends, trying to unclasp my bra despite my nervousness.

But Sebastian wasn’t a patient man. Which is why I was hardly surprised when he pulled me to him again, quickly getting rid of my undergarments as he chuckled upon seeing just how damp my panties were from the mixture of both of our cums.

“Such a good little whore,” he whispered, almost to himself - but I heard it, and it prompted a new wave of wetness to flow from me. I made it a point not to look at Anthony and Chris, even though I knew they were staring at me, taking in my body with all of the bite marks and love bites that my boyfriend kept me decorated with, but as I was climbing Seb’s lap, it quickly became clear he wouldn’t allow me the blissful ignorance of his friends’ presence.

“No, no, princess,” he spoke, quickly manhandling me into turning around so I’d sit on his lap with my body turned towards the other men in the room. “Like this.” I gasped when I took in the way Anthony and Chris were looking at me, their eyes dark and lustful - I couldn’t deny that.

My entire body tingled, and I knew my wetness was now dripping from me, running down my thighs. I could feel it. I’d never been this aroused, as humiliating as it was to admit it. Absentmindedly, I started rubbing myself against the head of his member, my eyes glued on both men in front of me, but quickly, Sebastian made sure to get his way again.

“Now it’s not the time for teasing, baby.” That was all the warning he gave me as he started to pull me to sit down on his cock, the thick member stretching me even after all of the times I had it inside of me.

“She’s so wet already,” Anthony commented, eyes glinting dangerously as his tongue swiped over his bottom lip. I didn’t know what to say, but thankfully, my boyfriend took over for me, letting me focus on his cock and the way it was filling me completely.

“Yeah.” He squeezed my hip, and I could hear the pride just in that word, making me melt against him. “You’re always this way for me, aren’t you, honey?” He wasn’t wrong, so I wasn’t about to lie to him.

“Y-yes.” My fucked-out voice had all three men chuckling. Sebastian took advantage of my sitting position to pull my head back and press a kiss to my temple. I relished in it. I loved the gentle caresses he gave me whilst doing the nastiest things to my body.

“Yeah, I fucked her nice and deep already,” my boyfriend informed his friends, the tone sounding almost nonchalant, like it was no big deal. “Besides, she’s always ready for daddy to take, huh? Whenever I want to, you’re always wet for me, aren’t you, princess?”

I must have babbled some sort of agreeance, since he didn’t push me to say anything else. He had started to move me by then, forcing my hips up and down to ride his dick, and my moans took over the silence of the room.

“I bet she’s sweet as candy,” Anthony’s voice broke the tension once more. Behind me, Sebastian laughed, much to my surprise. I was used to his possessive persona, the one who couldn’t deal with anyone staring at me for too long, much less exploring my naked body with their eyes while commenting on the way I tasted.

“Oh, yeah… could make a diabetic die of pleasure between these thighs.” The comment, paired with the hand that found my clit and started rubbing, had me whining in need, already so close to cumming.

“Shit, the sounds that she makes…” That’s when Chris finally joined in on the debauchery, his hand curling over the prominent boner poorly hidden by his slacks. “And here I was, thinking she was this innocent little thing…”

I wanted to say something. I really did, anything to defend myself - even if I wasn’t really being wrongfully accused. It just felt like I should - like, for whatever reason, there was something wrong with me, if I allowed my boyfriend to do this, fuck me in front of his friends, take me for their eyes to see.

But I didn’t. Because one thing was obvious, and I’d never be able to deny it: I liked it. So when Sebastian answered, keeping the conversation going like I wasn’t even in the room, like he wasn’t buried balls deep inside of me, I just kept moaning and mewling, trying my very best to keep myself from orgasming before he allowed me to.

“Oh, but she is,” my boyfriend informed his best friend, and I could feel his proud gaze settling over me once more. “She gets so shy about what I ask her to do, still. But she does it anyway, don’t you, baby? You’re the best girl for daddy, aren’t you?”

I could only nod, particularly since his arm snaked to the front of my body, easily locating my clit so he could start rubbing it. “You know you need to get off first, honey.” His tone was almost disappointed, like he was scolding me. “It helps with the conception.”

I knew that, and as much as I could feel it - the orgasm rising inside of me, threatening to take over and take me to bliss - I didn’t feel like I’d be able to stumble over that edge. Not with so much happening, so many gazes settled on me. It was too much pressure.

“C’mon, you can trust them,” Sebastian tried to convince me, his stubbled jaw rubbing against my naked back. “Show them how cute you look when you cum all over my cock.” The words made me whimper.

I wanted to, I really really wanted to. And I was so close, but I could feel it slipping away, almost out of reach - “Don’t you want to start our family, princess?” He pressed on, trying to get me to tip over the edge. “Gimme my baby, c’mon.”

And just like that, he coaxed an orgasm out of me. Wetness flooded from where we were joined - he’d always been able to make me squirt so easily, I didn’t even know I was able to do that before we got together.

I could hear Anthony’s “damn” and Chris’ “oh, shit”, but they sounded distant, almost underwater somehow. All I could focus on was the feeling of Sebastian’s fingers bruising my hips as he filled me with his cum, making me moan out loud at the warmth that took over my lower half upon feeling so stuffed.

“There ya go, baby.” I felt my boyfriend press a soft kiss on my temple, as he tucked me against his chest. “Go to sleep now, honey. I know how tired you get once I fuck you throughly.” He wasn’t wrong, I was already yawning. “You’ll stay here for the night.”

And as I felt his cock keeping me plugged, his hands caressing my back while he went back to talk to his partners about business deals, all I could think about was how happy and safe he made me feel.

Especially in front of everyone else.

#my fics #my 2k challenge #sebastian stan smut #smut #sebastian stan #mob au #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan reader #sebastian stan reader insert #sebastian stan reader inserts #sebastian stan fanfiction

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rainydaydream-gal18 · 3 years

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(The Bad Batch) Hunter x Reader: Distance

(Author’s Note: I was trying to think of something to write, and I asked myself “what is something that real couples go through?” Thus, this idea came to be. Relationships aren’t always sunshine and fluff, and I wanted to write a fic that reflected that.

Warnings: Relationship troubles, kissy kissy.

Word Count: 1,350).

Hunter was leaned back in his seat, arms folded behind his head as a makeshift headrest. His eyes were shut, though it did not look to be in peaceful slumber. The creases and lines on his face betrayed his troubled mind. His broad shoulders were weighed down by the responsibility he had to the safety of the crew and the child. You knew it was difficult for him. It was for everyone, but he carried a responsibility as leader that the others couldn’t relate to.

You lingered nearby; close enough to watch him, but far enough to not initiate interaction. The others, including Omega, were asleep. Their snores blended with the low hum of the ship traveling through hyperspace in a familiar lullaby. Despite your distress over the detached sergeant, the sound put a smile on your face. These quiet moments were precious. Seeing everyone get their rest was a comfort that helped you settle in between missions.

Things between you and Hunter had been...off. What normally was a steady and harmonious relationship had gone cold, distant. Considering all that the squad had gone through as a whole, it was no surprise that there’d be some strain on you and Hunter’s relationship.

It still hurt, though.

Even though you tried to deny it, you felt a twinge in your chest every time Hunter praised Omega for her progress in training or took time to give her extra instruction.

Of course, you had nothing against the child. You were delighted to see her find her place in the squad and be loved, as all children deserve to be loved. You were doing your part to care for her as well and help with her training. Even so, it stung at times when Hunter had plenty of warmth and time to spare for Omega, but nearly none for you.

You held back a sigh as you continued to watch Hunter. No doubt he already knew of your presence. As he had once told you in the middle of a heated kiss, he was sensitive to it. He said he could always tell when your lovely heart was near.

But unlike other instances when he sensed your hesitation to approach, this time he did not usher you to his side. He didn’t so much as turn, choosing instead to remain in his seat with eyes shut and head back. It left you dejected. And bitter.

You considered marching back down the hall of the Marauder. At least you’d have the satisfaction of him hearing the indignance with each echoing clang of your boots against the ship’s floor. The burning hurt you felt inside desperately wished to be known, to make sure that Hunter wouldn’t get away with causing it with his aloofness.

The thought was quelled by the ache in your chest at the idea of yet another sleep cycle passing without things being resolved. Another sleep cycle without speaking to him other than the mundane mission terms.

“Yes.”

“No.”

“Fine.”

This...whatever this was... had lasted long enough.

You exhaled, letting your shoulders fall a little with the action and unclenching your fists. You ventured forward until you leaned against the console in front of his chair. Hunter at least had the decency to open his eyes upon your approach, though he did not move from the comfortable position leaning back in his seat. He looked up at you expectantly, as if waiting for a request or complaint, which almost infuriated you further. You never needed to have a reason to speak with him before. You had to take another deep breath to remain calm. If you started this conversation the wrong way, it would end up just like the others.

“Hey,” you greeted, offering a small smile.

“Hey.” Hunter paused, as if still waiting for you to elaborate. You merely turned your gaze to the stars streaking past outside the ship’s view. Realizing that you weren’t there to make a request, he seemed to relax a bit. The silence that stretched on after that was a little awkward.

“You know, I think Omega’s training is coming along quite well,” you spoke up. It was one topic you knew for sure Hunter would open up about, even if it was just a little. “I was very impressed watching her at target practice yesterday.”

There was that smile on his face, that pride in his eyes as if Omega was his own offspring. Your lips turned up in a smile before you even realized it. The way Hunter had taken responsibility for the child was always admirable to you, even if lately his actions gave you a pang in your chest.

“So was I,” he agreed. “It’s good for her to defend herself. I just hope she never has to again.”

“I know,” you nodded, tipping your head to meet his gaze. “You’re doing well, Hunter.”

He held it for a moment before glancing away. “Ah, I still don’t really know what I’m doing.”

“I don’t think any of us really do.” You bit your lip as you contemplated your next words. “But at least we all have each other. That’s what’s important.”

He hummed in agreement, but didn’t say anything. His eyes wandered back toward the view of space, and you started to feel yourself losing him in the conversation. With a deep breath to gather your courage, you pushed off from the console and took a few steps until you stood directly in front of him. Hunter stared up at you in surprise, eyes widening when you carefully swung one leg over to straddle him. His hands hovered near your waist instinctively to steady you, though you noted they didn’t make contact.

You didn’t say anything for a few moments. It had been some time since you’d had close contact with him, and it almost seemed foreign. You gazed into his eyes with watery ones, lips turning up in a hesitant smile. Hunter looked back at you with his confused expression gradually softening into something else, and you noted the glow of warmth was starting to return to his gaze.

You lifted a hand to rest on his tattooed cheek, surprised to feel him lean into your touch so vigorously- as if he needed it like he needed air to breathe. He rubbed his stubbly jaw against your palm with eyes shut, and you brought your other hand to cup the other side of his face. You finally felt his hands on your waist, and you released a quiet sigh.

“I’ve missed you,” you whispered.

Hunter opened his eyes. The tenderness was paired with pain as he maneuvered to kiss your palm. “I’ve missed you.”

The realization that you could’ve had this moment with him sooner caused guilt to creep its way into your features. “I’m sorry.”

He shook his head gently. “It’s my fault. I know I’ve been... distant.”

“You’ve got a lot on your mind,” you conceded.

“But you are the one who makes it better.” He shook his head again. “It was silly of me to push you away. And wrong.” He looked into your eyes pleadingly, hands gripping your waist tighter. “Can you forgive me?”

You leaned in and pressed a kiss to his lips. “Already forgiven.”

He didn’t let you pull away completely, instead bringing his hands up to your elbows to usher to back into another warm kiss. “I’m sorry,” he whispered against your lips. You brushed your nose against him lovingly before molding your lips to his again. One of Hunter’s hands came up to trace along your jaw softly, and you sighed.

When you separated from the kiss, he was staring lovingly at you. You shifted so that you were no longer straddling him. You sat on his lap with both legs draped over the side, head resting on his shoulder, with his arms practically cradling you. It allowed you both to relish in the intimacy as you carried on a conversation.

So many things had gone unsaid in the time you spent apart. There was some catching-up to do, it seemed.

#hunter x reader #the bad batch x reader #the bad batch fanfiction #bad batch hunter #bad batch hunter x reader #bad batch reader insert #hunter reader insert #bad batch hunter imagine #bad batch hunter x you #bad batch imagine #hunter imagine #hunter x y/n #bad batch x y/n

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wheredafandomat · 2 years

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Chimera 🌌

Part 13 : Evasion

6 years ago

You avoided everyone. Not just Loki, the whole team. You assumed that they were probably all laughing at your expense after whatever it was Loki told them about your past relationship. Stephen was probably put off or worse, pitied you. You ensured that none of them could access your level and barricaded yourself in your room. You felt humiliated. Once again, Andrew was cause for your demise. Once again he had won. Once again, he was controlling your life, being the reason for your sadness. You felt even more stupid realising that you were now thinking of Andrew, he didn’t deserve to even exist in your mind.

Trying to change your thoughts, your mind wandered to that night Loki had picked you up. You imagined how he told the team, his expressions, whether or not he was laughing. Did Cassie know now? How did she feel? It was all just a terrible situation that seemed inescapable but you knew that you eventually had to face them all, except Loki. No. Loki had betrayed your trust, he wouldn’t be as easily forgiven as the rest.

You occasionally received texts from Natasha throughout the day as well as Cassie just asking how you were but you ignored them, turning your phone to silent and hiding away under the duvet. You managed to drift in and out of a sleep, avoiding the hunger you felt. You couldn’t bring yourself to actually get up and get something to eat.

You felt silly after a while. Ridiculously silly. Silly that you even needed Loki to pick you up that night, silly that you had confided in him, befriended him, silly that you had even reacted this way to him telling the team about Andrew. You should have just told them yourself. Why were you still letting Andrew control you? You should have just entered the room and laughed the situation off when you heard Loki talking about it, you should have just owned the words that Andrew used instead of letting them have power over you but their expressions, Stephens expressions, they felt pity, it was clear. They pitied you. You were already the newest member of the team and now you were someone who was pitied. They’d never really except you now. You were weak as far as they were concerned and you storming out of the room proved that.

You were just about to close your eyes again in the hopes that you’d wake up and everything would have magically blown over without your interference until you heard a whooshing noise from behind you. Turning around, you saw a tray on your bedside table with a note. You ran your eyes over the food and you couldn’t deny how delicious it all looked. Pastries, all your favourite fruits and other bits of food that was underneath a note. Picking it up, you rolled your eyes as you sighed.

I am incredibly sorry y/n. Hurting you and betraying your trust was never my intention. If you wish for the wizard Doctor to court you then you have my blessing. I wish we can still be friends if you’d allow it.

Kindest regards

Loki

You couldn’t help but smile at his choice of words and the weird comfort you felt knowing that he approved of you and Stephen as if you wanted his approval. You didn’t even realise that you had picked up an apple from the tray to eat whilst you read the note. So much for being stubborn you chuckled to yourself. You sat down, rereading the note whilst you ate some more of the food. With each bite of the delectable food, you felt your hostility towards Loki lessening. You couldn’t be angry at him forever and you did want to continue being his friend. No one had ever gotten you like Loki had and as he admitted many times, he felt the same way about you. You really were best friends and if you had been speaking to him today, you’d both probably be at the library together right now considering that there were no missions. Once you had finished, you decided that you’d face everyone. It had to happen sooner or later.

When you had finished getting ready which consisted of a shower, brushing your teeth and throwing on some loose clothing, you allowed access to your floor again. You called the elevator and waited for it to come. You thought you’d just go to the library and if you happened to see anyone in the lobby, you’d speak to them but not actively seek anyone out. With the delay of the elevator, you pressed the button again as you began tapping your foot on the floor impatiently. Finally, when it reached your level, the doors opened and you were met by a sorrowful looking Loki. Instead of stepping out of the elevator, he stood looking at you whilst you looked at him. You could see the apologies he wanted to say in his eyes and you hoped he could see the forgiveness in yours. You did forgive him. It was Loki. Best friend Loki. You couldn’t stay angry at him for drunkenly telling the team something you should have told them. Something they probably would have found out anyway.

“Y/n I—” he began before the doors started to close. You stopped it with your hand whilst you both laughed.

“Get in here, you’re probably holding up the lift.” You grinned, gesturing Loki out of the elevator.

“Thank you.” He smiled back “I’m so—”

“Please, don’t apologise again.” You said, putting your finger on his lips, silencing him as he looked down it at. Seeing him looking down at your finger on his lips caused you to quickly remove it, suddenly feeling strangely awkward.

“Am I forgiven?” He questioned sheepishly making you almost ‘awwww’ at his timidness.

“No.” You replied, hugging him. Hugging you back, you felt Loki almost nuzzle into your neck.

“You smell nice.” He mumbled.

“Don’t be weird.” You laughed “I’ve got to face everyone, did you tell them anything else humiliating about me?”

“Y/n, you’ve not been humiliated in the slightest in fact, no one mentioned anything else about you for the whole night that wasn’t in line with concern for you after you left so angry.” He assured as he pulled away. “And you won’t have to face them alone, I’m here.” He smiled, taking your hand.

Tags:

@mischief2sarawr

@sharris8

@immersed-in-mischief

@nikt-wazny-y

@toujurspire

#tom hiddelston loki #loki x reader #loki x female reader #loki fanfic #loki (marvel)#oc fiction #loki fanfiction #loki x avenger reader #loki layfeson

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blu-joons · 3 years

Text

DATING TXT A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Choi Yeonjun

A ⇴ AFFECTION

Yeonjun loved to tease you with his affection, pushing boundaries was very much a favourite habit of his. His hands would often wonder when he was around you, he couldn’t help himself but try and see where his affection could take him.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING

You already worked at the company before TXT came together, and so the two of you struck up a professional relationship from the start. You always took great care of Yeonjun as a member of staff, but that didn’t stop him always trying to be a little more friendly with you and try to get you know better than the other members of staff.

C ⇴ CONFESSION

After debut and the group took off, Yeonjun was able to settle a lot more. With that, he couldn’t help but find himself desperate to confess to you as you started working with other rookie groups, having less contact with him. One evening he surprised you at the company, desperate to tell you how he felt about you before he lost the chance. You were shocked, naturally, but there was no way you could ever turn Yeonjun down.

D ⇴ DATES

He loved to get quite competitive on dates and make sure that he could show off to you. You’d spend a lot of dates at sports complex or arcades where Yeonjun could show off his strength, but the one thing he loved to do more than anything else was try and teach you to skateboard. Admittedly, you were terrible, but you knew that it was something that Yeonjun was passionate about, and whilst you were yet to take two feet off the ground without him holding firmly onto you, it was only a matter of time before you’d get the hang of things.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE

Having never dated before, there was definitely a moment of apprehensiveness as far as Yeonjun was concerned. He knew as the eldest member he had a bit of an example to set for the other members, and a lot to follow up as the next generation to BTS. However, with your knowledge of the company already, he was confident that a relationship was something that the two of you could enter and make sure that neither of you got hurt. He was always going to protect you, even ahead of work, Yeonjun knew what he wanted in life, and was firmly set on making sure he got everything that he wanted without a bother.

F ⇴ FIGHTING

Whenever the two of you fought, Yeonjun couldn’t help but get quite emotional. You quickly picked up on the fact that he wore his heart on his sleeve a lot, and when he had something to say, he couldn’t help but pour his heart out to you. The frustrations that would trigger an argument between you both would very quickly turn into sadness and hurt that the two of you could speak so harshly to each other and say so much that neither of you ever meant. It didn’t take long for one of you to crack, usually Yeonjun, both soon figuring how pointless an argument was over whatever had caused it, and how much easier it was to just talk.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY

You ended up meeting Yeonjun’s family before you started dating whilst you worked at the company, and so they couldn’t have been happier knowing that Yeonjun had chosen to start dating you too. They trusted you, and knew you understood the company and his line of work, and so he’d definitely be happy with you too.

H ⇴ HOME

Being at the dorm was something you loved, especially with Yeonjun having his own room. The boys loved having you around, which was most definitely a bonus for you. The two of you were still young, and neither of you were willing to rush into getting your own home together when your careers were still your focuses.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU”

Yeonjun was the first one to say, ‘I love you,’ suddenly on a date night. He’d taken you bowling, and you were losing, by a lot. As you hit the gutter yet again and spun around with a pout, you sent Yeonjun weak at the knees. Before he’d even thought about his words, a reminder to smile and a quick ‘I love you,’ had been muttered, surprising you greatly.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY

He would definitely be the type of person to hide any jealous feelings that he had, but again, he wears his heart on his sleeve a lot when he finds himself getting emotional, and so it wouldn’t take long for you to pick up on how he was feeling, no matter how hard he tried to hide it around you. You’d often notice that he’d get a little quieter and his cheeks would begin to flush as he tried to hold himself together. He’d deny ever feeling jealous around anyone until eventually you managed to push him into admitting how he felt.

K ⇴ KIDS

The two of you very quickly agreed that you were far too young for children, and that for the foreseeable future you saw yourselves working hard on your careers instead. Yeonjun still had so many ambitions for TXT, and you were making your way up the ladder at Big Hit. You knew there would be time for the two of you to start a family someday, but you had plenty of goals you wanted to achieve before that time came.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER

You loved seeing Yeonjun happy, that was always the most important thing to you. His smile was definitely something that drew you to him, even before the two of you started dating, and even more so since. You knew that he felt the pressure a lot, and there were times when he’d come home with the smile very distant from his face, and so you’d make it your mission to make sure that you found a way to make him smile again. You hated how hard he was on himself, almost as if he wouldn’t allow himself to smile at times, but after a short while with you, he couldn’t help but find himself smiling once again.

M ⇴ MISSING

Being the eldest, he definitely felt a responsibility when it came to missing you. He would try incredibly hard to shrug off any feeling of missing you, but when times were tough, even the mention of your name was enough to make him incredibly emotional. Yeonjun would try and keep things together, but usually after a chat with Soobin, he’d reach his breaking point. It was as if he was a ticking time bomb when it came to missing you, once the tears finally started, it would take a long time for them to stop. Especially, when he called you. You knew each time you hung up the phone that he was going to spend a little while to himself to try and hold it together.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES

You often found yourself calling him ‘junnie.’ It began as a bit of tease when you first met him, however as things changed between you, your jokey nickname for him was something that ended up sticking around.

O ⇴ OBSESSION

He was obsessed with your smile, almost as much as you were with his. He loved to see you happy, just as you always did with him too.

P ⇴ PDA

Yeonjun wasn’t afraid of being affectionate with you in public, but it would always be very subtle. People could often be forgiven for not even realising that the two of you were a couple because you were so conscious of being affectionate and making sure that you didn’t stir up any trouble for yourselves.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS

He would often ask if you were tired whenever you tried to stay up with him. With a yawn, you’d assure him that you were alright, but as soon as your head rested against his shoulder, you’d be out like a light and proving him right.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS

You learnt very quickly that Yeonjun was incredibly chaotic and messy, with meant his room in the dorm was often a tip too. You’d always end up tidying around him and ended up buying him plenty of storage boxes and units so that he could try and keep his mess neat too. Although he’d never use them, and instead throw things on the floor, the thought that you put into sorting them for him meant a great deal to him.

S ⇴ SEX

Every time the two of you were intimate, Yeonjun made sure to treat you as if you were the most delicate thing on earth. Yeonjun prided himself on being a gentleman, especially in the bedroom, always making sure that you were comfortable and satisfied. He never put himself first, he’d always take care of you first and listen to your body closely, picking up on all the hints you gave him as to what you wanted from him.

T ⇴ TEXTS

Throughout the day you’d often get random messages from Yeonjun, usually seeing what you were up to. He loved hearing how your day was going and making sure you were looking forward to seeing him that evening.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE

You were very much a best friend to Yeonjun, and a huge support from the very start of his career. Even before things took off, you were the first one in line to cheer him on, both professionally, but as a partner too.

V ⇴ VACATION

Stories of San Jose had kept you entertained for hours, and so when the opportunity arrived to take a week away from work, there was only ever going to be one place that Yeonjun would take you. He wanted to be able to show you the places where his memories had been made rather than constantly just tell you about them instead.

W ⇴ WHINING

He tended not to whine too much, he appreciated more than anyone when you were busy and was happy to wait around until you had some time free for him.

X ⇴ XXXXX

Whenever Yeonjun was around you, it was very much an instinct to hold onto you and usually press a kiss against your cheek or the nape of your neck. When you were around other people, it was a small gesture he could give to you without having to create a huge fuss about your relationship or make other people uncomfortable. In the comfort of your own home though, he was always more than happy to tease you and push all of the boundaries possible.

Y ⇴ YOU

You were his biggest fan, supporting him in every single thing that he did.

Z ⇴ ZZZ

Yeonjun never slept, a quality about him that you never understood. You’d usually end up having to drag him to bed to make sure that he rested for whatever schedule it was that he had planned for the very next day.

---

Masterlist

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mo2k · 3 years

Text

Imagine…you meeting the pillars for the first time💕. (pt.9)

No.9 : Tokitou Muichiro

Pairing : Muichiro x <fem> reader

Warnings : None, just fluffed <3

Note- Hello lovelies!I hope ya’ll like this,Mui-kun is just so cute! >///<

Synopsis : Ok,this can go 2 ways…

1.If you’re a pillar…

>This is the first day of your work as a pillar,Oyakata-sama had held a meeting with all the other pillars to introduce you.But there was one pillar that has caught your attention the most…and that is ‘Tokitou Muichiro’ or the mist pillar.Something…something in him make you want to know him more or…perhaps…even befriend him…

2.If you’re a normal demon slayer/citizen/medic and etc.

>You two would be strangers. (At first!,At first!Just you wait…👀) Maybe you’ve walked past him once or twice,but you never get the chance to talk to him-but the same feeling (from above-if you’re a pillar) was still there…

Now,let’s get to the story-whatever you are!

You’re strolling around an open field near the demon slayer headquarters,trying to relax yourself from all the stresses you’ve got from works…

Your mind was blanked as you stared at the sky absent-mindedly while dragging your legs boringly…that was until you had caught something at the corner of your eyes.You quickly shot your head towards that direction you think you saw something and-oh…look what you found💓…

It was the mist pillar…lying under the tree to hide from the hot sun that can burn deep into your skin if you stay out for too long.He’s also-staring at the sky absent-mindedly,exactly what you’ve just done earlier.

You blinked at him,curious to why would the mist pillar would be here.You tilted you head to the side slightly,trying hard-to figure out why would he be here…if he didn’t cut you off your thoughts first…

Muichiro : “…What are you doing?” He speak,not that loud but just enough for you to hear.But-well,he didn’t even take a glance at you when he speak…making you even more curious about him…

But then…that’s when you realized…oh boy…he’d just caught you staring…you were too distracted to noticed what you’ve done…

(Y/n) : “Oh!I-uh…um…” You stammered over your own words,an uneasy feeling sat in your stomach.You are-no doubt,super embarrassed since you’ve just stared,at the stranger-who you haven’t even speak a word with…You starting to look away-trying to find some good excuses that maybe-could help you out of this situation…

Muichiro : He closed his eyes and then sighed, “Stop.I don’t mind it…you can go.But just…don’t stared at the strangers with no permissions,ok?”. His tone was not cold nor arrogant-just a normal tone.But dang-his words sometimes…could be as sharp as a knife…

Whatever-this just make you even more embarrassed that your cheeks staring to get hot.You bit your lip before apologize him, “I understand…and I’m so sorry…” You bowed slightly.He just nodded and raised his hand to wave as a gesture for you to go away already.But will you really?Hm…I don’t know? (😂)

You blinked several times at his gesture-he will just let you like this?So easily?Really?Can that be called as a little rude? (But girl-I think you forgot that you two were still strangers =<=)

Well-you just stand there for a moment.Trying to muster up your confidence-and without a word…you slowly walk towards him…He didn’t move,didn’t even open his eyes to see what was coming…but you knew that he can sense something’s coming…

At last,when you are here-standing in front of him…and peering intently in to his face…that’s when he finally open his eyes…

Muichiro : “What?” This time his tone got a bit annoyed,but his face still wore that emotionless expression…

(Y/n) : You took a deep breath-before asking, “What are you doing?”.

There was a stunned silence between you two for a moment….It was a stupid question and you know that…but you still couldn’t help yourself as you peered into his blue orbs in anticipation,trying to guess what he was thinking at the moment…He still shows no emotion but you can tell from his slightly widen eyes that he was surprised and taken aback by your question…

Muichiro : “What?” He raised his eyebrow. “What are you doing?” You ask again, “Why do you want to know?” He question back-narrowing his eyes threateningly…but you thought it was cute… (lol🤣)

(Y/n) : “Just wondering…” You chuckled a bit,didn’t even realized that your lips have curled up into a small smile. “Just go way” he clicked his tongue. And you rolled your eyes playfully,you crouched down to his level- “Can I joined you then?Whatever you’re doing” . “You won’t listen anything,will you?” He growled. “I don’t know~” you winked down at him,a mischievous smile plastering your face.

Muichiro : He sighed again, “Do whatever you pleased…” He said finally,turn his body to his side-facing away from you. “Yay!” You cheered,and you swore you can hear him snickered to himself.

(Y/n) : “Did you just snicker?Oh man~I don’t know you can do that~” you teased him as you let yourself plopped down to the fresh green grass. “No” he answered,and you giggled.

You’re now fully lay down on the grass,looking at the blue sky dotted with clusters of clouds.You grinned widely before pointing your index finger at one bunch of fluffy clouds that look like mash mellow. “Can you see that Muichiro-kun?” He turned to lying on his back again,and take a look of the clouds…and then at you…

“It looks like a dragon,don’t you think?” You shifted you gaze to him too,just in time to see that he was also looking at you…You blinked at him, “What’s wrong?” You asked after a moment,a little nervous. “How do you know my name?” His eyes are a bit wide,and you’ve just relaized that you’ve been holding your breath…but after you hear his question…you started laughing…

(Y/n) : “Ah-hahahaha!How do I know your name!?Well,it’s just so obvious-hahaha!You’re the mist pillar remember?” You have to cover your mouth with your hand to calm yourself down-bit it’s just so funny!You can’t help it…

Muichiro : He just lay there,still dumbfounded and confused….how can someone remember his name even when they haven’t even talk?Now he’s confused,really confused,he can never remember something for more than 5 minutes…so,how did you just know his name exactly???

“I…don’t…um…quite understand what you’re talking about…” It take a while for him to open his mouth to talk again…and you just laugh even harder…

Oh~He start to get angry~ “Hey!Stop laughing!What’s so funny!?” He raised his voice, “I-haha!oops-I-I’m sorry-haha!I-just can’t help it-hahaha!” You managed to choke your words out-but that doesn’t make him feel any better.

Muichiro : “Whatever!I don’t care about you anymore!” He huffed,too embarrassed and angry to speak…When you’re starting to calm down, “Ok,ok,I’m sorry!” You told him,but still smiling-he was so adorable looking like this. OwO

He made a ‘tch’ sound and turn his head away-and you rolled your eyes, “Fine!Alright,I’m sorry-Really Sorry.It’s my fault-please forgive me!How about this?Let’s go eat some food or sweets,my treat!What do you think?”

He quickly turned to you,his hands finding yours fast.He gripped your hands together tightly around his while saying “Really!?” excitedly. He has shifted closer to you,too close! 0///0 Your nose almost touched-Ahhhhhhh-.And you slowly nodded,blushing hard,his face immediately lit up (like an adorable child🥺)-this was the first time you got to see him grinned widely,his face tinted a bit pink from excitement. “Oh,ok!You’re forgiven!” He hugged you tightly-and you froze…

(Y/n) : You feel hot spark through your body,the feeling of him hugging you-his warmth that radiate from his small frame,his breathing on your neck,and his cute face that just mushed to your shoulder-Arhhhhhhh,this is too much,TOO MUCH!Muichiro-kun!Get away!Get away!Quick!Our dear (y/n) is almost fainted!Fscbnkfsxzcht-!!!! @////@

Then he realized that he might have just hud you a bit too tight-he loosen his arms,while look up to you worriedly… “Did I hurt you?” He ask quietly…. (Such an adorable child-ahhhhhhhh /////)

(Y/n) : You quickly shook your head- “Oh no no!You didn’t hurt me at all!” You hug him again-trying to hide your red embarrassed face…He hugged you back,relieved.

“Now,okay…what do you see in those clouds?” You pulled away from the hug,pointed to one group of clouds again-trying to change the subject,he quickly look to that direction- “Where?” Then he see a bunch of clouds,cling together in a shape like cat… “I see cats…” he said, “Really?I think I see (something of your choice)…’Cause-Oh!What about those!?” You said cheerily,smile a little to yourself…

What you didn’t know was…he take a look at you again-this time chuckle a bit and smile back,thinking of how beautiful and pretty you look when you smile…Then he paused… ‘Wait…what am I thinking?’ He started to blush…. “Hey…um…what’s your name by the way?” He asks shyly…

(Y/n) : You turn your head to look at him,before blinked and pointed to yourself- “Me?” You question for confirmation…and he nodded “Yes,you…What’s your name?”

You smile, “(l/n) (y/n),nice to meet you tokitou-san” You pull your hand out, “So am I…” he answered,also smile back.

“Tell me about yourself more”,he said. “Huh?But it’s quite long,you sure you wanna listen?” You said back. “I’m sure…” he respond. “Well then,fine!…But only on one condition…”. “What is it then?” He demanded. You grinned playfully, “You must tell yours too!”. He snorted, “Only that?”. “Yes!” You persist. “Alright,alright…I’ll tell you everything-if I can remember them or they aren’t nothing too personal…” He trailed off… “Then how about we talked about clouds too!?Like you tell me what you see and I’ll also mine!Sounds fun!” You suggest. “Sure,why not?” He shrugged, “Ah ha!” You laughed,and he bit back his smile…

Anyway-you guys just talked on and on and on (getting to know each other more and many more things else-ooh~✨) until you both starting to get hungry so you guys go to the town to find something to eat (Your treat as promised lmao😂).You have so much fun together and so does he too!You two end up,running around like children while also hold each other’s hand tightly…

You two don’t want this day to end…but alas,everything must come to an end…The sun was starting to disappear,the once blue sky has turned into a pink-red.It’s time for you to say goodbye… “Hey,Muichiro-kun…” You called out, “Hm?” was all he answered… “Looks like it’s time for me to go…” you replied…And his face fell almost immediately… “Already?” He ask,gripping your hands tighter-he was,um…actually pouting as if he doesn’t want you to go…He looks like he wanted to cry,omg- 0///0

You looked at him sadly… “Yes…but don’t worry,I can come to play with you tomorrow!” You tried to light up the mood, “Really?” He asked excitedly. “Of course!” You laughed, “Then…I’ll see you tomorrow,at the same spot we meet today,ok?” He quickly nodded.You let go of his hand-while saying “Goodbye then!See ya!” You told him before you turned your heels and starting to run back to your home-“Wait” he cried from behind,and you twisted your neck to look at him.

“Goodbye to you too (y-y/n)!” He stuttered,and you both gasped at the same time.He covered his mouth with one of his hand,stunned,shocked or surprised he doesn’t know-but all he know was…He can remember your name after all this time that has passed… “M-Muichiro-kun…” you started slowly… “You did it!You finally did it!You can remember my name!I always know you can!” You cheered excitedly while laughing joyfully, “Yes!Ah haha!I can do it!” He began to laugh too,and after some moments and you two can finally calm yourself…You waved your hand, “Goodnight to you then” you state finally… “Goodnight too…” he waved back….

You two shared one last grinned at each other,before you turned and go onto your way again…Leaving him looking down while a happy smile plastering on his face… ‘I’ll always remember you (y/n)…’ Was his last thought as he also took off back to his estate…

To Muichiro,this is something very special…He used to feel a bit lonely before…But now he doesn’t anymore,‘cause he’s got you right by his side anywhere and anytime he needs you or you needs him… In other words… “He’s not alone anymore”….

Ahhhhh,we’ve finally come to the last part of “Imagine…you meeting the pillars for the first time💕!” The next one’s “Imagine…you meeting the kamaboko squad for the first time!” as my dear @yui-san0 has requested!♥️I love you so much my dear,pls take care of yourself love!🥺💖💞

Lastly,I wanted to say “Thank You So Much!” out loud for everyone here.I know that I did bad in the last part but I’ll try to get better I promise!❣️I love you guys so so much,pls have a great day/night,take care and don’t overwork yourself!🥰💖💝

The arts are not mine!Credits to the artist!🌟❣️

-With love,BamBam🦢🌙

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alastaircarstairsdefenselawyer · 3 years

Text

you're not living in this world alone

i wrote this in one sitting and i'm sorry i don't really know what the point is i was just frustrated lmao, the song title is from "enjoy your life" by marina which is what i'm manifesting for COT. i don't think there are any triggers beyond what you would expect: mentions of bullying and elias' shitty parenting

Fanfiction Masterlist | AO3

“And how would you know where Alastair was yesterday afternoon?” Matthew mused.

Thomas exhaled. The truth was a long time coming. “Because I was with him. Alastair and I are friends.”

“Friends? After everything he’s done? You can forgive him so easily?”

“It’s been years since school, Matthew. He’s grown and changed since then, just as you and I have. I have forgiven him, and I ask that you respect that, even if you choose not to.”

“Respect that? Thomas, how could I-” He moved closer and lowered his voice as if that would effectively prevent Cordelia from hearing him, despite her sitting mere feet away. “I don’t know what he said to you, but you don’t owe him anything just because he helped you with the whole serial killer business. Listen, Thomas, you’re very kind, and Alastair… Well, I know what type of person Alastair is, and he’s the kind that understands well how to take advantage of kindness. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

Thomas could see Cordelia straining to stop herself from reacting. “You don’t know anything about him.”

“And you do?”

“I know more than you, continuing to reduce him to the horrible nonsense he said over four years ago.”

Matthew flinched. “Horrible nonsense? That’s what you’d call the things he said about my parents, about your parents, the things that made your mother cry?”

Thomas bit back involuntary tears. He knew how those words had hurt his family. His intention was never to reduce the gravity of them. “Don’t you dare use my own words against me! What about the things you said, Matthew?”

Matthew crossed his arms. “I have not a clue what you’re talking about. Whatever he told you were lies, I’m sure-”

“Did you forget that I was there that day? I’d nearly forgotten because it was so long ago, but I remember. I was trying to help Alastair because he was in a very bad way. Clive had just died. I know that the prank affected you, too, maybe even more so, but Alastair said that the prank wasn’t his idea, and I believe him. Clive was Alastair’s bully long before he was any of ours, and I don’t blame Alastair for fearing his own safety and going along with his stupid, dangerous plan. At the end of the day, it’s just not something you need to blame someone for. Alastair learned his lesson in the worst way possible. Someone died.

“I could tell that the other boys’ parents coming to the school in the aftermath of it all was upsetting him because he knew that Elias would never come to his rescue. You can jest all you’d like, Matthew, about how if he was your son, you wouldn’t care about him either, but it’s never going to be funny.”

A stillness fell on the room, a look of guilt creeping over James’ face, a look of panic having set in on Matthew’s shortly after Thomas began speaking. Cordelia stood up abruptly. “Excuse me?” She turned to Matthew. “Tell me that isn’t true.”

“Never to his face! It was just a joke. I didn’t mean it-”

“Is that supposed to make it better? All those times that you acted as if were some heroic feat for me to love him… Now I’m not sure if they were jokes or if you genuinely believe he’s less deserving of love than you or I. All this time my brother suffered in silence, he shielded me from it all so that I would never have to know what kind of person my father really was, he sacrificed his own well-being for mine, meanwhile… you all were here, making jokes about it.”

Thomas expected Cordelia to be angry, and she was, on some level. Her expression was haunted, however, her eyes holding even more guilt than Matthew’s. He realized, suddenly, what she must be thinking: How dare they discuss in passing something she never realized herself? How could Thomas and his friends see it so clearly when she could not? Thomas wanted to tell her that Alastair didn’t try to hide it from them, not in the way that he hid it from her, that he’s learned from his parents that in many cases you it’s more difficult to see the bad in those you love, your heart always searching for the good, but James began to speak instead.

“Daisy-” James started.

“No,” she interrupted. “I don’t want to hear it. Thomas, finish.”

“I- What?” he stammered, nearly forgetting how the conversation began. His heart was racing; he shouldn’t have said so much, he knew. It would only cause more pain. He simply needed all of this nonsense about Alastair to stop, and he did not know how besides telling the truth.

“What happened that day at the Academy,” she prompted.

“Right. He… he was in a bad way, because of Clive’s death and because of his father. He told me to leave him alone, but I didn’t because I thought that I could help. I… I thought that he shouldn’t be alone. Now I wish that I had gone, because Matthew went looking for me. He found me with Alastair and started insulting him. He made fun of his hair, which I know sounds silly, but it wasn’t, was it? That’s why he changed it,” Thomas realized as he spoke. “So that he would- so he wouldn’t look Persian. Matthew could tell that it bothered him so much, that’s why he continued to say it.”

Thomas sighed as he continued. Alastair should be the one saying all of this, but he would never, nor would Matthew ever hear it. “Matthew asked him if no one cared about him enough to tell him that he looked silly, not his friends or his father. He told him that the prank was entirely his fault, that it was his fault Clive was dead. And then Alastair asked me to leave. I assume that’s when Alastair said the things he did, and I’m assuming that’s where he got the bruise I saw on his face later.”

“And Matthew placed Alastair’s belongings in the wing that Christopher blew up,” James offered.

“Sorry,” Christopher chimed in, though no one was much concerned about him or his actions that day.

“What? Was I meant to not retaliate after he said those things to me?” Matthew’s eyes narrowed at them.

Thomas was exasperated. “Of course that’s not what I’m saying! I’m saying that you need to stop pretending like you haven’t said and done things to Alastair that were just as terrible as what he’s said to you!”

“Are you serious?” Matthew asked. He looked to James for a defense, but none came.

“This entire time you’ve acted as if the whole ordeal was one-sided,” Cordelia said. “Like you were just some child helpless against my brother’s cruel words, but that was never the case, was it?”

Matthew didn’t respond.

“I need some time to think,” she said finally, walking quickly out of the tavern without waiting for a response.

Matthew turned back to Thomas. “Is this how it’s going to be now?”

“What do you mean? Me, not letting you mercilessly take out your own problems on someone who’s been trying to make amends, someone who has been through far enough? I suppose so. It’s up to you, Matthew. As I said before, you don’t need to forgive him, but I have. You are my friend, but so is he. He doesn’t have a problem with that. Do you?”

Matthew finally resigned himself. “No,” he said quietly.

Thomas knew this was only the beginning. Cordelia was almost certainly on her way to confront her brother, and soon this would be an even larger discussion. There were apologies and amends that still needed to be made. Even more, Thomas knew that Matthew’s issues with Alastair ran deeper than his actual dislike for the man, but he knew that allowing him to continue to take his own guilt and self-hatred out on Alastair would only continue to make life more difficult for all of them. Both Alastair and Matthew deserved to be free of it. Once Matthew was free of this nonsense with Alastair, Thomas knew that the real work towards true freedom would begin. And once Alastair was free of it… Thomas could only hope for what would come next.

Thanks for reading! Tagging my usual suspects (lmk to be added/removed): @stxr-thxif @chaos-and-starlight @zosiaenrique @lifewouldbebetteronmars @littlx-songbxrd @dianasarrow @eugeniaslongsword @bookswitchcraftandcats @jamesherondaleofficial @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @livingformyself @anarmorofwords @foxglove-airmid @writeforjordelia @sapphic-in @jem-nasium @fortheloveofthecarstairs

#thomas lightwood #cordelia carstairs #matthew crit tag #alastair carstairs #the last hours #tlh #fanfic #fanfiction

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plainlo-inthemorning · 3 years

Text

A little written-in-the-middle-of-the-night Loki fic snippet that just grew another leg. TVA Loki + Lokane. Rating T.

(First part is here)

Shine a Light, part II

The tempad feels hot and slippery in his palm as he stalks down the hallway, quickly putting distance between himself and the hunter he left unconscious amidst overturned chairs and tables in the canteen.

The mess had already been there, leftovers from workers rushing panicked to man their stations. He had simply added one more touch.

Tiny droplets of sweat bead his brow and blood has started seeping though the tear in his crumbled shirt.

The fabric is clinging wetly to his bicep, but in the mayhem unfolding around him, nobody gives him a second glance.

For the first time, he is thankful at least to be wearing the anonymous uniform dictated by the oppressors.

He reaches the kill me kind of room again and shuts the door behind him.

You were meant to cause suffering and death.

You’re a cosmic mistake.

You were meant to die at the hands of the mad titan.

Lies.

All lies.

Still projected on the wall is the paused image of a lost memory of his unfulfilled fate.

He sees himself, Thor and her on the barren planet with the black soil. The man he never became is lying on the ground, Thor cradling him.

She watches them both in shock.

It resonates in his bones. He has to go there.

He has to reach his brother at this precise, excruciatingly rare moment of heroism. His act of heroism.

Before the scheming and deceit poison their bond once more in an endless loop of disappointment.

In this moment, all is forgiven. Thor will listen and help. A different path will branch.

And he has to go to her.

It is ludicrous, this riddle, yet the truth of it presses hard on his chest.

On the grainy roll of film, he saved her life and her eyes bore into his with such intensity, his acute need still reverberates like an echo between the walls of the kill me kind of room.

The smell of lilacs lingers.

What will happen when he faces his own self on the timeline, he can’t imagine. Also, he gives it little thought at this late stage with universal logic already suspended as it is. Hopefully he can reason with the man he was meant to be.

He has had quite enough of being his own past, present and future selves’ worst enemy.

And so he pushes the buttons on the tempad.

Something is very wrong.

The sky is too blue, the distant sound of waves lapping calmly at a shore is misplaced.

He has emerged from the door onto a quiet gravel road lined with tall grass and low pines. A single, white wooden house stands to his left, surrounded by a lawn dotted with wildflowers. The sun is warm on his back.

This is Midgard, he is sure of it.

How could he shoot past his destination so spectacularly?

He is about to scroll down the list of numbers and names on the tiny screen of the tempad when he notices a man approaching. Old, walking leisurely with a round, short-legged dog much the same white color as the mortal’s own wispy hair.

The latter starts a little when he spots Loki.

And then he does the most unexpected thing and speaks his name.

Loki’s name.

He almost drops the tempad (no! Not again) and the old one grins good-naturedly. “Hold on to your fancy phone there. Far away, were we?”

Loki only just about stops himself from shaking the man by his shoulders. His fists clench uncontrollably.

“What year is this?! How do you know my name?”

His voice sounds shrill, feverish, and unsurprisingly the eyes in the lined face before him go wide with puzzlement and … something else.

“Loki, what on Earth? Are you quite alright?”

Shock washing over him, Loki staggers back. H-how?

But the man is closing the gap between them, oozing concern. “Have you - are you drunk?” he asks incredulously.

He reaches out.

What is happening?

Loki shies away from the touch, his mind spinning.

Forcibly gathering his composure, he straightens and wills his words to come out steady. “No, I’m okay. Apologies. A bad joke”.

He smiles reassuringly. It takes more effort than parting an ocean.

The dog is sniffing insistently at his ankles.

The man looks him over with suspicion but the worry is subsiding. “Okay, then… no harm, no foul. You know, sometimes these peculiar ‘jokes’ of yours can make a neighbor all kinds of slightly worried”.

Neighbor?

“Most understandably, won’t happen again. Sorry to have bothered you”. Loki cuts him off smoothly. “Have a nice day”. He nods and turns before hysteria can creep into his voice.

“In case you need it for your punchline, the year is 2016”, the man calls over his shoulder as he shuffles away, pulling the reluctant dog after him.

Loki’s blood runs cold. 2016. Oh, this is so wrong. Three years wrong.

Did he hit another button at the last minute? He had been clutching the tempad so hard the edges cut into his fingers.

He curses his own impatience. Tech savvy indeed.

Holding up the blasted piece of TVA wizardry, he tries to enter a new series of numbers when his name rings out again.

And again, he almost jumps. But this time, his heart stays in his throat.

“Loki? What are you doing out here? I’ve been looking all over for you”.

Her voice reaches him from the porch of the white house. She is skipping lightly down the steps, the screen doors left open behind her. Music drifts into the garden from somewhere inside.

She is crossing the lawn. He is no longer breathing.

Her long auburn hair is tied back in a ponytail, and she is wearing a light blue summer dress. Her feet are bare.

Absurdly, he notes that she looks more tanned than the last time he saw her through the visor of the destroyer in the desert. A year and a lifetime ago. To him.

His grip on whatever reality he’s been clinging to since New York is seriously faltering.

She is beaming. He cannot move a muscle.

She comes all the way up to him and without pause wraps her slender arms around his neck. He can feel the warmth of her body through his shirt, smell the perfume of her skin. She smells of … -

“Where did you go, handsome?” She smiles playfully.

“Pepper called earlier to say that she actually got Tony out of the door on time, if you can believe it, so they’ll be here any minute. And her and I agreed that you two hotheads are going to play nice tonight, okay?”

She is teasing him but he hardly understands the words she’s saying. It makes no sense.

And then, before he can begin to form a response, she stands on tiptoes and kisses him and the world falls away.

Reflexively, he puts his arms around her, drawing her close to him. She moans happily. He leans into the kiss, not knowing what he’s doing other than that he never wants to stop.

Her mouth is soft and warm and new and familiar all at the same time, and the way her fingers curl in his hair sends electricity shooting down his spine.

It should be all anguish and tragic confusion, like before in the castle beyond time, but it is not.

It feels more right that anything he can remember since before his fall from the Bifrost, more real and yet more magical than his recent journeys into mystery.

Then it’s over all too soon and she draws away.

His arms are suddenly much too empty and he almost reaches for her again, craving her touch.

For a fleeting heartbeat, his soul had no longer felt torn apart to the point of forgetting he’d ever been whole.

The chaos had crumbled in on itself like a bad dream.

He is surprised he still knows what peace of mind feels like after what has happened to him since arriving at the TVA.

But now she looks at him with alarm in those beautiful brown eyes and he is crudely reminded that he is an intruder in her reality.

What she thought she saw, she clearly no longer recognizes.

It takes him all of three stupidly long seconds to remember that she said his name. That he’s wearing his own face and not a disguise.

That she knew him immediately, just like the old man.

She kissed him.

Too many impossible possibilities and the thunderous sound of his own heartbeat (surely she can hear it too) blur his vision.

He’s only vaguely aware that he is stepping towards her, trying to say something without the faintest idea of what’s going to come out of his mouth.

If it’ll even be words.

Her eyes dart over his clothes, his face.

“Loki, what - Why are you dressed like that? Have you been gone? Is that … blood?”

She retreats further, fear building.

“Jane, I-“

Her name rolls of his tongue with a sweet-tasting intimacy like he has said it a thousand times before.

But he doesn’t get to dwell on this, nor gather his thoughts to say anything else before something abruptly lifts him off the ground and hurls his body across the road.

“How dare you touch her, beast?!”

Immediately as his back connects with the rough gravel, someone is there, a knee pushing him down, fingers closing around his throat. A sharp object presses against his chin.

There is a dangerous, unhinged growl as his attacker breathes hotly in his ear. “You will die for this!”

The man is strong and somehow blocking Loki’s own magic, but he still manages to twist his head -

And looks right up into his own eyes, nearly black with rage.

“Speak! What are you??”

The man with a face exactly like his presses the tip of his blade closer to Loki’s left eye. “You will show yourself right now or -“

Gathering his magic tightly around him (focus!), Loki pushes back, hard.

With a surge of energy, their bodies are separated, and the other version of him lands heavily in the middle of the road some meters away.

Both of them are on their feet with the fluid movements of two panthers ready to pounce, the other now in full armor.

He has to leave, right now, even if means leaving her which is a catastrophe that might either kill him or make him try to kill his other self if he stays here another minute.

This timeline is clearly not his own.

It cannot be.

Arm outstretched to ward off his furious twin with a shield of magic, he tries to work the tempad with one hand.

“Well, well, what do we have here?”

A booming voice above their heads.

“You know, when Jane pressed the panic button just now, I thought we had an actual emergency. Not that you were preparing a little dinner show for us, Reindeer Games. Gotta be honest though, this doppelgänger stunt was never my favorite -“

“Stark!”

The variant - for he must be a variant - angrily interrupts the man in the metal suit hovering in the air.

Of course, Loki remembers him all too clearly.

What has it been, less than a week since he threw him, or a version of him, out the window of the glass tower?

“This is not my creation”, the variant hisses with venom dripping from every word. “I caught him assaulting Jane. Kissing her”.

“What?!”

Stark focuses all his attention (and one of his iron fists) on Loki. A metallic humming rises steadily from inside the suit.

“A man on a suicide mission then. Boy, did you smooch the wrong wizard’s baby-mama. He may look all domesticated and cute now, but I assure you he’s still all kinds of crazy. In fact-”.

“Hey!”

“What?”

“I know it’s asking a lot, of you in particular, Stark, but could we possibly save the personal insults till we have dealt with this right here?”

Wait, just wait.

Damn it, he can’t tap in the destination on the tempad without looking at it.

Green smoke is swirling around the hands of his other self. He knows what’s coming.

“This is your last warning, devil! I will not have you hiding behind my face as I -“

“This is my face! I’m you, you fool! Bigger things are at large here and-“ Loki falters, his silver tongue failing once more with rising predictability within what seems a disconcertingly short period of time.

Although he honestly can’t tell anymore.

“Please, take a minute -“

He can’t help but shout, sounding hopelessly desperate.

In another life, he might have felt humiliated, but letting pride dictate his emotions is no longer a luxury he can afford to indulge.

Still, the silence that follows his outburst is not nearly as long as he needs it to be.

The variant stares blankly at him, mouth slightly ajar, but Stark recovers easily, his voice now icy.

“Yeah, dude, that one might have worked better if you’d put on a clean shirt. Time to fess up real quick or we’ll have to-“

Drawing what might become his last breath, Loki looks away and down at the tempad. He presses the button. No more time to double check.

“What the?!”

Both Stark and the variant visibly flinch as the door appears.

He quickly makes for it. “I - I’m sorry. Truly, I am”. He looks to their stunned faces before turning to his exit.

Out of the corner of his eye, he registers the variant move (he has to be a variant). His mouth twists in an ugly snarl and two familiar daggers are appearing by his sides.

Before the door snaps completely shut, Loki sees Jane run up to the man and grab his arm.

“Love, no, don’t!”

He sees the slight bump under her dress that he didn’t notice before.

And then the scene disappears and he’s gone.

Part III

#loki #loki series #tva loki #loki laufeyson #lokane ff #lokane fanfic #lokane #jane foster #loki x jane #loki fic

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vrishchikawrites · 3 years

Text

About YZY leaving YMJ/JFM with her kids Post-WWX Arrival

Dear Dee, feel free to delete or ignore this or post it, whatever floats your boat. This just stuck in my head after those posts and I had to blurt it all to someone. Thanks for taking the time to read my word vomit.

So I had to do this instead of an ask because it got long and I wasn't sure how many asks it'd need or how short I could cut it down without losing parts of the argument. And then other things came up as I was writing and, well. Well..... >_>;;;;

But you know, after that post/ask you had about YZY fics saying 'Fuck U' to YMJ/JFM & leaving both with her kids, I had a sarcastic 'yeah right' attitude about it. Mainly due to a lot of negation emotions to such an abusive (and delusional) bitch, partly due to how she wouldn't do that since it doesn't seem to be something her sort of character would consider either because she'd think of it as 'losing' (losing what, IDK, it's why I consider her type of person crazy) or she legit wouldn't think about such a viable action.

But then later, in the shower, I seriously went 'Wait, she can't fucking do that' and it wouldn't be about how MXTX uses her as a part of the narrative but entirely about the/their culture in the novel; the actions that have and would be taken in response; and her entire toxic personality as well.

1) We already know that the sects and the cultivation world in general is sexist, elitist and so Capital T 'Traditional' to the point that it's starting to petrify and any deviancy from this is an exception rather than the norm. YZY might be a madame of a great sect (for what that's worth considering how shit of a madame she's been and the titles she's chosen for herself) but she's still a woman even with her high rank and the things she's personally accomplished.

Even if she was in her rights to leave a 'bad' marriage, she'd be the one who'd get scolded more instead of JFM by her natal family, her former husband's family and by their entire society at large even if she had a few singular supporters. Because That's Not How Things Are Done in their society and I do believe that such a thing was rare even when it was accepted method by the upper echelons. Especially since it would have to be done by more than YZY simply deciding that She Wants Out and just- goes and Gets Out. With no serious allegations that would allow her to divorce or separate from YMJ/JFM without the input from her family, JFM's family and, I think, possibly some measure of compensation as well. And no, having or bringing in a 'bastard child' is not a serious enough offence for such a humongous decision. I think something more along the lines of treason or crimes against multiple, high-ranking parties would be more along the lines. Maybe.

And even if she does this, she'd be considered 'Used Goods' (such a terrible comment) and there'd be no other good/proper marriage prospects for a divorced woman with children let alone a woman like YZY with her entire abrasive personality and attitude put off even easy-going JFM.

(If she'd been widowed then it'd be more forgiven but I consider that a Real Bad End since, IMO, it would lead to the sudden and inevitable decline of YMJ either via mass exodus of disciples and/or residents of LP; being merged with another sect due to it's unstable leadership; or create an internal political war 'cause I bet you anything that the YMJ Elders/relatives (if they have any) Would Not Want YZY in charge of YMJ when she's already proven herself such a shit betrothed let alone madame.)

2) Speaking of families, while YMJ/JFM/LP as a whole might be glad to see YZY's back, I don't think her natal sect, MSY, will be glad to see her come storming back after all the effort they put into getting that particular marriage alliance with YMJ. And if she brings her children with her? Oh man, oh boy- mother or not, that could be considered as kidnapping or line theft (is that a thing?) especially if YZY is also seriously considering divorce proceedings and raising them as Yu and not Jiang. That could give leave to, for anyone more unforgiving and maybe JFM if he's pushed enough, disown both JYL and JWY from the Jiangs through no fault of their own (though I'm sure YZY would make it so as well as blame JFM for her own decisions and mistakes).

Therefore, any inheritance or benefits they might gain for being legitimised children of a great sect are forfeited. JYL will likely lose that betrothal with JZX because JGS will drop it like a hot potato and JWY won't be a sect heir because YZY literally decided to remove that by deciding to raise JWY as a Yu, no matter their blood relation to JFM. They leave him, they leave YMJ and everything attached with it. Which is if YMJ/JFM doesn't demand MSY to give back their heir/ess and to punish YZY for her actions. Or send all three of them back for the appropriate reactions/decisions.

Their society would demand no less in reaction because, to them, it would seem like YZY had gone mad and JFM would look weak (or weaker) and imply that YMJ is vulnerable and exploitable if JFM doesn't do something in response to her actions. That's not even getting into what the other smaller sects may try to do in an attempt to curry favour with YMJ or what LLJ or QSW would try in order to destroy or diminish YMJ. And whether JFM chooses to demand his children back or not, it may not change the fact that this may give him reason enough to choose a nephew or niece to be the new sect heir especially if, even after getting rid of YZY's poisonous influence, JWY grows up to be his mother's child more than his father's or even his own person.

Either way, such a thing would bring great backlash on YZY, and MSY as well as the collateral. No one would want to give face to her or her children because it would bring up some very uncomfortable questions and scenarios to the other sects- specifically, what would happen if the female members of their clans/sets decided to follow the footsteps of YZY and leave with their children and heirs. Especially if they use it as an excuse to leave for their own comfort and whims and not some legitimate wrongs and dangers. That would create some more restrictions on women thanks to YZY

3) And lastly, if any one of those idiot YZY stans think that she'd ever give up the status of being a madame of a great sect they'd be as crazy or crazier than her. YZY is all about status and power and face. Specifically, her status, power and face and how people in her reach reflect her or 'insult' her. She is a selfish, terrible, abusive and toxic person and can only see people in regards to how they would benefit her and the elevation of her and in no other way. Especially her family. They cannot be their own person, they can only be an extension of her and gods forbid they go against her.

We can see this in how she treats the people she supposedly loves. JFM? Arguments day in, day out along with accusations and slander of cheating, having one(1) supposed 'bastard' and being 'in love' with CSSR. Which all seems sus as hell. And that's when she's actually there and not out 'night hunting'. Even her 'training' seems to border on unhelpful rather then helpful if my vague recollections of juniors fainting from exhaustion can be relied upon (please call me out if they're not or find proof).

JYL? Berated by not being 'strong' but not helped at all to be 'strong'. It doesn't help that YZY seems to believe in the same standards strength in their society- that is, of martial masculine strength which does not and should not apply to JYL who has been said to be sickly. Which means h should have been learning a different way of cultivation/fighting anyway. If that was something she wanted and had been offered in the first place- which I doubt. That isn't even getting into her repeated generational trauma mess of a betrothal which was decided only by those 'sworn sisters', accepted by her as a way out of her terrible home life and puts her squarely within reach of JGS who we know to be a womaniser, rapist, predator and a possible ephebophile considering we don't know the exact age of his youngest 'conquest' or the age of MZY's mother when they met which could be anywhere from 14 to 21.

JWY? Gods, so much meta on him and his(non-) relationships with his parents that I don't think I can contribute more to it. It's been all said and done. Unless people want me to stir the pot by saying that, maybe, just maybe, YZY resents JWY as much as she 'loves' him.Either because he's her son and yet never manages to 'accomplish as much' as WWX or because he's a boy and therefore, more benefits and allowances than a girl/woman- more than anything that YZY ever got without either a fight or screaming at someone about. *shrug*

So, in conclusion to this sudden an unexpected essay that I wrote(I'm so sorry about that, I thought it would be shorter -.-;;;;), YZY leaving YMJ/JFM with her kids? Impossible. Not without some sort of personality transplant or a complete AU. She's too prideful, too bitter, too angry, too everything negative and little positive. She's a resentful product of the values and restraints of her society taken to the extreme negative with a willingness to inflict her pain on others to an abusive degree. But she's also too obsessed and reliant on those same values and restraints to keep up the image of her status. So her? Giving those up? You'd be more likely to see WRH as a doting grandfather than that.

---

Dee - All of this is true and yes YZY leaving YMJ is highly unlikely. While there will be consequences if she decides to leave, she does canonically lives separately from her husband. They seem to be in a situation where they are married but living separately, which was a common way to end a marriage (at least in spirit) back then. She essentially had all the perks of being Madam Jiang but fulfilled none of the responsibilities.

Afaik, her training the Jiang disciples is a donghua thing? I may be wrong but I recall she spent most of her time nighthunting.

As for taking her children along with her- that's completely impossible. At that point, children were the property of the father. She could leave but she would've never been allowed to take JC.

#submission

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thebadboyfanclub · 3 years

Text

Protect The Queen Pt.1 (Geralt x Reader)

This is just becoming addictive at this point, I love writing about this cause there are so many different scenarios and possibilities you could write about. Also there might be a part two for this so please let me know if you would be interested in it. Enjoy!

She looked at herself in the mirror once more, it was almost time for her to take her future in her own hands, to rise to the occasion and take back her life. Her gaze fell to the ring she was wearing, it was passed on to her when she married the king of Orkney, she barely had taken a step into womanhood at the time her parents announced her marriage to her, such a shame that she spend such youthful years in a castle with a man that didn't even think about her, it was pure and also embarrassing for (y/n) to look back at her naive and selfless younger self.

“Oh, you are awake”

“I was waiting for you my dear”

She answered to her husband, her voice dripping honey for the first time in years. Their marriage was far from happy, (Y/n) had thought since she was to become his wife he would treat her with kindness, unfortunately that was not the case, he saw her just as a vessel for his children, when that seemed to not happen he fell to the arms of concubines and commoners, making her become this cold, distant wife he deserved. Sometimes she would wonder if maybe she had given him the heir he craved that maybe his behavior would change, that however was crushed by gratefulness she felt for her womb for not bring a child in this loveless household. She would have never forgiven herself if she raised a child that did not see their parents share at least one hug.

“What’s the cause of you lingering in our room (y/n)?”

“To celebrate, here my king”

She offered him the glass of wine she was holding on her left hand, it was filled with his favorite wine. Her husband took it and gave her a puzzled look, whenever he would sleep in the same room with her- which wasn’t often- he would find her asleep.

“What are we celebrating?”

“My birthday dear”

He was left confused at her smile and statement. It couldn’t be, they held a public celebration for her birthday every year, it was protocol for the queen to allow the public in the castle for her special day. The clink of the glasses echoed around the room, she brought the glass to her lips and took a light sip

“Come on dear, drink up. You were never one to shy away from a glass of wine”

She pushed the glass from the bottom up to his lips. He did not understand the cause of all this, yet whatever the case was she was right, the moment he tasted the delicious wine he took three gulps and the glass went from full to half empty.

“Excellent, I’m glad you enjoyed the wine my king, careful,.. the choking will probably start any minute now”

“My queen, we have been waiting for you to... rise for so long”

“Perfection takes time”

She answered to her most trusted confident,her coronation was something that would remain in history for centuries, she was adored by the public so when she inherited the crown after her last husband, everyone knew they were in safe hands. That does not mean the rumors did not arise to the situation, the late king was a healthy young man, it was very suspicious how he fell to darkness overnight.

She meant what she told him when she mentioned her birthday, that day she shed away her foolish acts and was reborn, a woman that stood strong in the field of womanhood, ready to take what’s hers whether people liked it or not.

She looked around the room, seeing her people enjoy their night and drink to her name felt so natural to her, she was meant to lead.

“Excuse me just for a moment, I want to get closer to my people”

“As you wish my queen”

As she started going around at a slow pace she did her best to observe her people, they seemed to enjoy themselves, they acted like the king never existed, like the soil on top of him had been thrown decades ago, she smiled at herself while thinking that she acted in a way her people wanted, pleasing them and herself with just a few drops of that special liquid.

It was then that she noticed the back of a tall man, his long white hair and his armor stood out from the others, she also took note that he was accompanied by a much smaller and probably younger man that was holding a lute. It couldn’t be? The infamous white wolf and his barb at her coronation?

“What are we doing here Jaskier?”

“Celebrating the queen officially getting the crown after her husbands oh so sudden death”

Jaskier was fascinated by her history, a princess known for her noble nature and beauty, he reminisced of the song he had heard about her, she was the master of horses, the late king had met her when she rode the most stubborn and difficult horse in the royal stable, married to the king at her prime and failing at giving him an heir.

He was surprised she got to kill him first before the late king did, not only that but she is now the one sitting on the thrown after the kings death under some suspicious circumstances.

“sudden death? hmm, I believe the king found out that his destiny was a woman in a harsh way”

“Every mans destiny is a woman.... Witcher”

As he heard the voice from behind him he turned around to see to whom it belonged to. Jaskier’s mouth formed a big “O” when he was met with the queen, Geralt figured out who she was by the crown sitting on her head. The first thing she noticed was his yellow eyes, she found them so captivating, unique, she had never seen a witcher from up close, it was also just her luck that brought her the most handsome one.

Geralt didn’t know what to say, he was at her celebration, talking badly about the queen herself, he knew the consequences he just didn’t know if the queen would choose torture or immediate death as the penalty

“Queen (y/n), my apologies, Geralt has had a bit too much to drink, please spare him”

Jaskier might be a bit overly giddy at the wrong time, however that did not mean that what Geralt ha implied could make the queen want his head right then and there. As Jaskier bowed at her, she only let a small smile appear on her lips, softening her features towards the men that both looked distressed, she had to admire that she felt a bit of pride of making the witcher eat his words, judging by his reputation that did not happen every day.

“It’s alright, I know what the people are saying about me, it’s understandable”

“Understandable? Shouldn’t the queen rush to protect her reputation?”

“That’s what kings do when they feel their ego getting bruised, look around you Geralt, what do you see? The same people that have spread those accusations are dancing and yelling “long live the queen”, if anything my new found reputation is more promising”

Geralt was immediately interested, it wasn’t often that a queen would be alright with rumors and of such kind being passed around, as well as taking it as an advantage and being pleased about it.

“Elaborate please”

“The kings of other towns will hear those rumors, now who would dare come and threaten the woman that killed her own husband for power? Only a mad man would risk coming to my home”

She was smart, cunning. Geralt had met people of royalty and understood exactly what she meant when she talked about fragile egos. On the contrary, she stood tall and proud, took advantage of the people that gave her a new source of power without them even knowing it. The essence of her as a human being could only be described as being royal, a woman of luxury that men would probably kill for just a glimpse of her naked skin

It only made him question the late king, how could he have wronged such a woman? was maybe her standards that were two high? or was it an act of revenge? Geralt felt the need to puff out his chest as an act of bravery, she was a quite tall woman and if you match that with the way she carried herself, it was a death mix, the late king was already one of the victims of it

“You mean that you are going to become other kings destiny?”

“I don’t believe in destiny, what destiny is varies depending on the people you ask, for my parents my destiny was to become an obedient queen and give birth to the heir, a child that shared the same blood with my late husband”

She said mildly disgusted, as a widower she would probably have to grieve, linger in her room and cry behind close doors at the loss of her love. It seems like nobody even noticed how she did none of that, like it was normal for her to through a celebration a few weeks after his death in her name, not only that but the people seemed to love it. Geralt gave her a smirk at her smart and a bit intriguing answer.

“Then what do you think is your destiny”

“To be in charge of my and my peoples future, destiny and fate are nothing in front of the power of a woman”

The way she talked about destiny showed how she truly embodied confidence and stability, she feared nothing, not even her future self, she only relied on her power. As she talked to him he couldn’t help but let his eyes look mostly towards her lips, her painted lips that moved in such hypnotic way, he felt compelled by her.

Jaskier just stood there watching the two people talk like they are long lost friends. The queen so many people felt uneasy just by her presence was now having a casual conversation with the witcher. Geralt was slowly but surely gaining respect for her, she was a woman of power, a woman that used her brain and situations to her advantages and held herself accountable for her future, she was a true queen.

Geralt smiled at her genuinely, he had met her late husband in the past, he recalled him being stubborn and stuck up, raising his nose at others that he thought were less than him. If he was alive there was no way he would find him walking around commoners

“hmmm, Well queen (y/n), I am sure your people will be safe with you leading this land”

“I hope that in the future I can count on you for aid”

“About what?”

“Danger of course”

She took one step closer to him, still keeping eye contact with Geralt. As he took in a deep breath he could smell the scent of lavender off of her, her hair shined underneath the light of the flames and her eyes glistered with confidence and pride, she was the definition of strength, just her look brought Geralt into defense mode, waiting for her words and thinking how should he respond correctly to her before she even opened her mouth.

The skill of demanding attention and respect so silently was one that the very few of people that did had it were considered blessed, even though he was aware of that skill, still he had yet to meet one... until he met her.

“Loneliness can be an awfully dangerous thing”

She whispered just loud enough for only him to hear, as the other villagers laughed and sang around them, not even noticing that their queen was standing a few inches away from them, as well as being promiscuous to a witcher.

“I would be honored to protect the queen”

“I’m glad you feel that way, I’m sure you could be a great ally for me, geralt of rivia”

PART 2

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kadeu · 3 years

Photo

THE DECK; OCTOBER 2024

Sweet breeze! Good riddance summer. Now, usually we adore the summer season, the fashion, the events, the lively shows and all the trouble the socialites get up to. And yes, the fashion was there but eyepatches in the heat are not ideal. Our beloved socialites flocked to the beach and we have enough tales of drunken debauchery yes, and even those who remained in the city with their enchanted blocks of ice and selective guest lists, we still have heard the deeds. But the heat, something about this summer’s heat, made it not as enjoyable.

Speaking of the beach, there is mourning up in the highranked hills of Diamonds. Once Kings, demoted in scandal to Jacks, the Sobongs have met rough waters while enjoying what was supposed to be a calming row out to sea in Umibe. Their staff reported that, “the once peaceful seas suddenly became enraged as if a Tempest beset it and pulled them under.” The Sobong fortune is now up in the air as the only true heir, their son Korain, has long been presumed dead. Korain's only heir is none other than Ace of Diamonds Moon Ara, but sources say the Sobong's will doesn't name their estranged granddaughter at all.

It is rather fortunate though, inheriting a vast sum, especially when one half of the marital income pool couldn’t even afford box seats at the other’s place of employment. We wonder just how much money is in that estate. Enough to kill for? Only time will tell.

In Hearts, once jeweler to the elite facecards yet now blacklisted from those circles, Lee Hyeonju seems to be looking from Hearts for a way into Diamonds. Formerly disgraced now reinstated Academy Professor Parker Luke, seems to have accepted the advances of Hyeonju and has been spotted every night for two whole weeks within his apartment. Sources close to both men say that Hyeonju has been giving the professor the royal treatment in hopes he sponsors his defection!

Whispers throughout Heart society say that the Ace of Hearts, once an avid patron of Hyeonju’s has refused his service in lieu of newly popular Fae artisans. The Ace’s mood as of late is unreadable on that topic, but sources say Hyeonju has been barred from his presence and that has other highrankers and artisans have been following suit, preferring to not gain the Ace’s disfavor. This has lead to instability in Hyeonju’s prospects in Hearts. No wonder he is looking to flee to Diamonds.

But he’s not the only one out of favor in Hearts. Ex-courtesan turned restaurant owner, Meesong Nari has been seen without her usual entourage of Zuihuo guards and attendants. Rumor has it she has been kicked from that mansion she was gifted and the Clan favor mark is gone from her arm. Not sure what she did to separate herself from that protection and comfort but we are sure all those bridges she burned ascending in the ranks will happily revisit her. They tell us as kids right? What goes up must come down. Watch your back Nari.

THE TENSION BETWEEN CLUBS AND SPADES;

Amidst the growing tensions between Clubs and Spades, Ace of Clubs Mallick Sai Shah, held the opening for his Hunter’s Lair. It seems it was mostly a hit, with fights breaking out away from the venue, not in it! One club said, “it’s better to just enjoy things now than wait for whatever comes next,” and we’re considering stitching it on tunics and selling them as aid relief! Business owners suffering from Spade mandated ban through the Joker found it hard to mingle and feast while their own stores suffered. Worse, a gag order was in place against all negative comments on Spades. We sense a lot of fake smiles and grumblings over bread but can’t confirm as we were refused an exclusive invite to report the event!

Still, as an unbiased news source, we gladly accepted the request for a sit down with Ace Shah to address the actions taken in his faction. Our reporter braved the streets of Clubs to give a completely impartial interview.

How has it been as an Ace? The jump from low ranker to sitting atop the faction must be hard.

Hard? Surprising and unexpected would be the words I would use to describe how this whole situation feels. I used to be a highranker after all and making my way up to even higher ranks before a tragedy struck me, was that an unknown fact?

But you’ve never been Ace? How is that jump?

No, never been. The title itself is not omnipotent, it has its limitations and brings forth unwanted attention that stands in the way of the current progress we wish to bring to the faction. But it's an important role even if only in word, one has to still use it respectably. But the short answer is the jump is still happening. Ask again in a few years when I've landed where it takes me.

How did you think of the Club council? Is it true you were inspired by the Diamond council?

I didn’t think of the Club council, it was a meeting of minds, I wouldn’t have been able to have any council at all if it was only my contribution going into the making of said council. While I have a deep respect for Diamonds and how they tend to go about their politics, I can’t say I was thinking about them when the idea came to be, I was more concerned on how it would affect Clubs in general and how it would be accepted within the faction. But I can now see why they have one, it has its benefits and I applaud them for having the idea to immediately instill it in their system.

How many people really support you as ex-resistance? Can we even believe you’ve left the criminal enterprise?

I can’t possibly begin to tell who truly supports me as ex-resistance or not, but so far I haven’t had anyone personally challenge me in the faction so in this case I think that means even through reticence people might just believe in the good I want for this faction.

That’s definitely a tough one, all I can say is I was young, hurt and I made mistakes. If I can be forgiven for them then I will be happy, if not I will understand. However, to be judged for the mistakes of your pasts when you’ve recognized them and clearly show that you’ve completely turned away from them, that’s an unfortunate way to see the world or the people around us if you ask me. But yes, to your question, you can believe that I’ve left the criminal enterprise.

I suppose you maintain your innocence in the killing and raid on spade? If you didn’t do it then who is behind such a foul act?

I absolutely do, I had nothing to do with the unfortunate incident even if allegations brought forth the information that some key evidence might link me to it. My hands are clean and I can’t even begin to think of who would be behind this. But whoever it is, the council has decided to lead an investigation into the matter because it’s not just my name and reputation that is on the line, it is also the honor of this faction that will be yet again tarnished. If you find any more clues before we do, I’m certain you’ll pass the message to the rest of the city, won’t you?

Of course! So you suppose you are being framed? Why would anyone frame an already known murderer?

I don’t take lightly to being called a murderer, but if that’s a title I have to wear for ridding the faction of an Ace who cared none for the lives of the people he wanted to lead to an unending civil war and unrest, then there’s not much I can do about it. But yes, I’m being framed, because of the criminal enterprise’s affiliation I had in the past and the label of murderer I have on my back. I mean, wouldn’t you say it’s easier to believe that I would be the one behind someone’s death and demise considering those two demeaning factors? It’s even a little unfair to not see how blatantly obvious they went about it.

You must know, the Academy was attacked a few years ago with your resistance taking ownership. Were you not involved?

The resistance I was part of and that I do not own, you mean? I did hear of it when the incident occurred. I was not involved and I found it disheartening. I'm against attacking innocents and causing the loss of innocent lives.

We’ve heard that your people were harassing Spades in your faction? Our sources say, ‘Urine and feces were tossed on a patron in a popular tavern for saying ‘Spades should be respected.’ Should Spades not be respected?

I’ve had no time to hear these rumors but of course Spades should be respected. Everyone deserves respect for that matter, tossing urine and feces doesn’t seem like a respectful action taken either. But if this rumor is true I can simply apologize for the mistreatment and ask that less impulsive measures are taken in the future because, as you can see, I don’t have any means to control anyone to stop tragedies from occurring. If I did you wouldn’t be here as no shipment would have been ambushed and no lives would have been lost. Unfortunate, isn’t it?

This Ace of Clubs only brings more questions when questions are asked. He made it clear to our interviewer that the resistance was a mistake he made in youth and he acknowledges them as all as criminals. He even seemed scared to admit the inspiration for the council he created in Clubs. Maybe those on his council are the real danger here. ‘A meeting of minds’ he claims, but it sounds more like he was coerced by darker agents. We’re certain this council is filled with the same resistance criminals he is trying so hard to claim he has separated himself from.

And yet he proclaims his innocence, insists he is being framed. In round about words he points to some conspiracy with no proof of innocence offered. And where is this council if they are unified in their ruling? Should they not have joined this interview to show their unified cause? The future of Clubs is bound to be as blood soaked under this Ace as the last. At least that Ace stood solidly on one point without a questionable background and motive.

His unwillingness to out other vagrants that would no doubt bring that peace to the faction like he claims to want, make his alleged innocence and investigation a joke. Our own investigation finds King of Clubs, Wainwright Rook, with high suspicion for the fight that broke out in his tavern. There a Spade had feces and urine thrown on them which led to a brawl that left the very foundation of the tavern with a cracked that travelled up the building. Yet Ace Shah acts ignorant of it. No wonder Spades must do their own investigation.

In Spades, they are increasing drills and the policing of their border. We wonder if an invasion will come soon. Whispers amongst their ranks lean to disdain for the Club Council. Refugees who chose to leave the safety of Spades were met at the border with medical personnel and fighters as if the Club Council thought that Spades were abusing those they rescued during the terror of the war between their last Ace and the new one and his resistance criminals. The council passing suspicion to Spades who have done more for their corner of the city is laughable.

Well, at least the weather is cooling down. Hopefully that eases some of the tensions. The weather is predicted to be far more comfortable though still a bit warmer for the season. We’re calling it a second attempt at summer.

NOW PLAYING AT THE PALACE;

Fresh from the mind of director Ace Moon Ara, comes a gruesome tale of lost love and revenge. With intense, dark themes, The Palace recommends not bringing children to this production and reminds all of it’s patrons that the theater is NOT responsible for the adverse affects the production may have on younger minds or weak stomachs.

The Fiendish Barber of Kadeu

Evil Judge Turpin (Budrelda Beryl) lusts for the beautiful wife of a simple barber, Benjamin Barker (Adrian!). In order to claim the beautiful woman for herself, Turpin frames the barber, and has him transported to a far away prison for a crime he did not commit. Returning after 15 years and calling himself Sweeney Todd - the new name given to him by the fiend he managed to conscript, the now-mad man vows revenge, applying his razor to unlucky customers and shuttling the bodies down to Mrs. Lovett (played by Ara’s protégé from Wing Theatrics), who uses them in her meat-pie shop. Though many fall to his blade, he will not be satisfied until he slits Turpin's throat.

Its a wonderful start to the fall season, our reporters loved their screening but warn of its hauntingly good effects.

#the deck;#lrpg

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mimisempai · 3 years

Text

Every time I look at you, I fall in love again

Summary:

As he gazes at his sleeping lover, Loki remembers the moments where he fell in love with Mobius.OrFive times when Loki's heart pounded in a special way and once when it pounded in a familiar way.

Notes:

Tumblr request : a 5+1 - it could be about moments in their relationship where Loki falls more in love w/ Mobius

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32821156

2084 words - Rating G

For once, Loki woke up this morning before Mobius.

Leaning on his hand, he took the opportunity to watch his beloved while he slept.

As he gazed at the sleeping features of his lover, he was once again taken aback by the strength of his feelings.

Loki had little or no experience with love, so he had nothing to compare to what he was experiencing with Mobius right now.

No one had made him feel the way the man made him feel.

It was as if Mobius had wrapped his roots around Loki's heart little by little but without imprisoning him.

Mobius' love had set him free.

In return, Loki's feelings had taken root in Mobius' constancy.

Sometimes Loki liked to think about how his feelings had developed, because it had all happened so quickly that he had never been able to enjoy those stolen first moments.

It would be hard for Loki to say exactly when he had begun to notice that his relationship with Mobius was different from any relationship he had had before, but what he was sure of was that no one had ever been able to see through him as quickly as Mobius.

"I don't like to talk."

"But you do like to lie, which you just did. Because we both know you love to talk. Talkie-talkie."

Honestly, at that moment, Loki thought fondly, if he hadn't been so angry at being found out, he would have laughed.

As a matter of fact, it had become a fond memory for them. Whenever Loki would go into one of his grandiloquent tirades, Mobius would simply make this little gesture with his hand and would mouth "Talkie Talkie"

" You don't know anything about me.

"Maybe I'd like to learn."

It was probably at that moment that Mobius had begun to touch something in Loki that no one had ever touched. The fact that anyone would even bother to genuinely learn about him was in itself new. Except for his mother and Thor, most people had always assumed the worst of him.

"Honestly, I'm actually a fan. Yeah. And I guess I'm wondering why does someone with so much range just wanna rule?

Mobius had been the first to make him question himself.

Of course, at the time, he was not at all receptive to what Mobius' words really meant.

It had taken him some time to admit the truth.

The moment he had admitted it, the naked truth, without any more artifice, he had been ready to receive the final blow, the ratification of his vileness, but no, nothing like that.

"Because it's part of the illusion. It's the cruel, elaborate trick conjured by the weak to inspire fear."

"'A desperate play for control.' You do know yourself."

"A villain."

"That's not how I see it."

That's not how I see it.

At that moment, Loki's heart had pounded for the first time.

The man in front of him had seen all the lowliness that Loki was capable of and yet he did not see him as a villain.

From the first hours of their meeting, he had made it impossible for Loki not to love him and from then on, his feelings had grown exponentially.

As he walked down the path of his memories, Loki continued to gaze at Mobius as he slept. A small miracle in itself for Loki.

Knowing who Loki was, Mobius slept in his presence. The perfect image of absolute trust.

Loki sometimes still had trouble feeling worthy of such trust.

Seeing him sleeping like that, he thought of the day when he himself had first fallen asleep in this way with Mobius.

The day he fell a little more in love with Mobius.

It started with Mobius taking the blame for the failure of their first mission together, when it was all Loki's fault. They could have just pruned him, but no, Mobius had pleaded his case to Ravonna.

Then Loki had presented his theory to Mobius, admittedly with a rather shaky metaphor, even ruining one of his lover's favorite dishes.

"Well, here's a fun theory. You lure me out into the field, and then you stab me in the back. And that's a theory I don't wanna test."

"I'd never stab anyone in the back. That's such a boring form of betrayal."

"Loki, I've studied almost every moment of your entire life. You've literally stabbed people in the back, like, 50 times."

"Well, I'd never do it again, because it got old."

Mobius laughed and chose to follow Loki's theory, even though Loki had given him no reason to believe in him until now. Even though his theory was based on almost nothing, Mobius had chosen to believe Loki.

Then they returned from Pompeii and something happened that had never happened to Loki, he had fallen asleep. Loki, who was distrustful of everything and nothing, had simply fallen asleep in the presence of someone he hardly knew. As if his heart had understood before his mind that he had nothing to fear from Mobius.

When Mobius had woken him up, Loki's heart had pounded for the second time, and it wasn't fright that had caused it, but the realization that Loki was falling in love and falling deeply.

As he looked up from his contemplation of Mobius, Loki's gaze fell on the photo that lay on his nightstand. A memory of their first vacations, when Mobius had finally realized his dream. In the middle of the paradisiacal decor of an island in Midgard, Loki had taken this photo of Mobius piloting -at last- a jetski. So much joy on his face.

Another thing that made Loki fall in love a little more: the passion of his lover for some small insignificant things.

Josta, salad, jet-ski...

"You know, some things... Actually, most things in history are kinda dumb, and everything gets ruined eventually. But in the early 1990s, for a brief, shining moment, there was a beautiful union of form and function, which we call the jet ski, and a reasonable man cannot differ."

"You ever been on one?"

"No... No. I think a TVA agent showing up on a jet ski on the Sacred Timeline, that would create a branch for sure."

"Oh it'd be fun, though."

"Yeah, it'd be really fun."

"So, why read about them?"

"It just helps remind me of what we're fighting for."

The expression Mobius had had at that moment, when he had said something like that with such candor had made Loki fall even more.

And his heart had pounded for the third time.

While he had sensed that what would happen next would destroy what Mobius believed in, Loki had not been able to stop himself from wanting to protect him and his happiness, and to hope that one day he would be able to realize his dream.

With his eyes on the photo commemorating a very real memory, he felt a sense of satisfaction, because his lover had been able to realize this dream and Loki had been there to witness it.

"Loki... Don't go..."

Loki's eyes returned from the picture to his lover, whose features were now tense, probably from a nightmare.

"I'm here love, I'm not leaving. I'm staying with you."

Saying this, Loki gently strokes Mobius' cheek and his expression immediately relaxes. After a few seconds,he was sleeping peacefully again.

Loki didn't need to read Mobius' mind to know what he had dreamed.

He had known that he had taken a huge risk when he had decided to follow Sylvie and he had known that the reunion with Mobius would not be easy.

After all, he had betrayed him. But of all the acts of betrayal that Loki had been guilty of, this was the one that had cost him the most. Because of the feelings he was beginning to have for Mobius.

But what he hadn't imagined was that Mobius would almost turn into a jealous lover, even though at that point they didn't have that kind of relationship at all.

Loki had been incredibly surprised that it wasn't Loki's betrayal that had hurt Mobius the most, but the fact that he had made a connection with Sylvie.

"Come on. Look at your eyes. You like her."

"You like her. Does she like you?"

"Both of you were just swooning over each other."

"It's breaking my reality right now. What an incredible seismic narcissist. You fell for yourself."

"I'm supposed to believe your terrorist girlfriend"

"What, your female self that you have some demented crush on…"

Loki's heart had pounded for the fourth time when he realized what it could mean. He had fallen a little more at the thought of Mobius, at the thought that the man might be jealous, at the thought of what it might mean about Mobius' feelings for him.

Then there had been that moment of grace, the exact moment when Loki had known that he was definitely in love with Mobius.

For the first time, when everything was against him, someone had chosen to believe in him. That someone was Mobius.

Even though he was clearly angry with Loki, he still listened to him and chose to believe him.

Despite Loki's attempts at manipulation, betrayals, and mistakes, Mobius renewed his faith in him and spoke those words that were imprinted in Loki's head.

"You could be whoever, whatever you wanna be, even someone good. I mean, just in case anyone ever told you different."

Loki's throat tightened as he was overwhelmed by the emotion of the memory.

Mobius had no idea how many wounds he had healed in Loki at that moment.

After what Loki had done, where Odin and Thor had not forgiven him, not only had Mobius forgiven him but even more amazingly, he had shown that he believed that Loki was capable of being good, of doing good.

At that moment, Loki's heart did not pound once, but thousands of times, at full speed. Because of the joy and love that filled it.

The sudden disappearance of Mobius just afterwards had been all the more cruel. Because at that moment, they didn't know about the Void and Loki had thought Mobius was lost forever. He had been devastated.

He couldn't help but touch Mobius' face, gently so as not to wake him, then he whispered softly, "You too Mobius, do not ever leave me."

They had found each other again.

When he first saw Mobius after he thought he had lost him, it only confirmed Loki's feelings for Mobius.

The way his heart had pounded at the sight of the one he loved was impossible to ignore.

So when they had to part once again, Loki had not been able to resist the pull of his heart, and instead of grabbing Mobius' hand, he had taken the man in his arms.

Loki had held Mobius in his arms many times since that moment, but he would never forget the feeling of that first hug. The feeling that the universe was in place. That he was where he belonged, that he was home. He had expressed without words all that he felt and Mobius had answered him in the same way. They had to part again, but this time the bond between them was undeniable and unbreakable.

They had to go through a lot to finally enjoy their love, without the sword of Damocles, without the threat of the end of the world, or of a multiversal war over their heads, but they had made it. They were here now.

With each passing day, Loki fell a little more in love.

The Midgardian saying, I love you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow, had become his.

Because every time he looked at Mobius and realized the love they shared, he felt like it was stronger.

Mobius moved in his sleep, making the sheet slide off his shoulder.

Loki could not resist and leaned over to kiss the bare shoulder. Mobius woke up and turned to face Loki with a sleepy smile on his lips.

"Hey there handsome," Mobius whispered to Loki, gently kissing Loki's cheek. Loki's heart fluttered in a familiar way now, at such gentleness and at the adoration he read in his lover's eyes.

"Hey love," whispered Loki.

Mobius kissed him, his lips pressing lazily against Loki's. Loki smiled and kissed him back, happy.

Together they enjoyed the delights of a perfect, quiet morning.

_________

All other one-shots of this series here : X

As always, bear with me as it is not beta'd I hope you enjoyed it 🥰

#Lokius #loki series #loki #mobius m. mobius #lokius fic #moki #wowki #time husbands #time frost #established relationship #memories #5+1 things #lazy morning

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michaelbogild · 3 years

Text

Lines by Leonard Cohen

As someone long prepared for the occasion In full command of every plan you wrecked – Do not choose a coward’s explanation that hides behind the cause and the effect

And it's stronger than drink And it's deeper than sorrow This darkness she's left in my heart.

And I'll dance with you in Vienna I'll be wearing a river's disguise The hyacinth wild on my shoulder, My mouth on the dew of your thighs

He wants to write a love song An anthem of forgiving A manual for living With defeat

The birds they sang At the break of day Start again I heard them say Don't dwell on what Has passed away Or what is yet to be.

You never liked to get The letters that I sent. But now you've got the gist Of what my letters meant. You're reading them again, The ones you didn't burn. You press them to your lips, My pages of concern.

I caught the darkness It was drinking from your cup. I said: Is this contagious? You said: Just drink it up

Everybody talking to their pockets Everybody wants a box of chocolates And a long stem rose Everybody knows

A cross on every hill A star, a minaret So many graves to fill O love, aren't you tired yet?

And everybody knows that the Plague is coming Everybody knows that it's moving fast Everybody knows that the naked man and woman Are just a shining artifact of the past

Yeah I missed you since the place got wrecked By the winds of change and the weeds of sex looks like freedom but it feels like death it's something in between, I guess

I walked into this empty church I had no place else to go When the sweetest voice I ever heard, whispered to my soul

I heard the snake was baffled by his sin He shed his scales to find the snake within But born again is born without a skin The poison enters into everything

And summoned now to deal With your invincible defeat, You live your life as if it’s real, A Thousand Kisses Deep.

I’m slowing down the tune I never liked it fast You want to get there soon I want to get there last

When they said REPENT REPENT I wonder what they meant

Her thighs they slipped away from me Like schools of startled fish Though I've forgotten half my life I still remember this

And if no leaves were on the tree And no water in the sea And the break of day had nothing to reveal That's how broken I would be What my life would seem to me If I didn't have your love to make it real

And yes she lied about it all Her children and her husband You were born to judge the world Forgive me but I wasn't

O troubled dust concealing An undivided love The Heart beneath is teaching To the broken Heart above

The pull of the moon, the thrust of the sun And thus the ocean is crossed The waters are blessed while a shadowy guest Kindles a light for the lost

How come you called me here tonight? How come you bother With my heart at all? You raise me up in grace, Then you put me in a place, Where I must fall.

And everybody knows that it's now or never Everybody knows that it's me or you And everybody knows that you live forever Ah when you've done a line or two

It's coming like the tidal flood beneath the lunar sway, imperial, mysterious, in amorous array:

The lights went out behind us The fireflies undressed The broken sidewalk ended I touched her sleeping breasts They opened to me urgently Likelilies from the dead Behind a fine embroidery Her nipples rose like bread Then I took off my necktie And she took off her dress My belt and pistol set aside We tore away the rest

The Maestro says it's Mozart but it sounds like bubble gum when you're waiting for the miracle, for the miracle to come.

The sea so deep and blind The sun, the wild regret The club, the wheel, the mind, O love, aren't you tired yet?

The wounded forms appear: The loss, the full extent; And simple kindness here, The solitude of strength.

If the sun would lose its light And we lived in an endless night And there was nothing left that you could feel If the sea were sand alone And the flowers made of stone And no one that you hurt could ever heal Well that's how broken I would be What my life would seem to me If I didn't have your love to make it real

But you'll be hearing from me baby, long after I'm gone I'll be speaking to you sweetly From a window in the Tower of Song

I said I’d be your lover. You laughed at what I said. I lost my job forever. I was counted with the dead.

It failed my little fire But it's bright the dying spark Go tell the young messiah What happens to the heart

Good night, good night, my fallen star I guess you're right, you always are I know you're right about the blues You live some life you'd never choose

looks like freedom but it feels like death it's something in between, I guess

I've seen you change the water into wine I've seen you change it back to water, too I sit at your table every night I try but I just don't get high with you

The present's not that pleasant Just a lot of things to do I thought the past would last me But the darkness got that too

The splinters that you carry The cross you left behind Come healing of the body Come healing of the mind

I wish there was a treaty we could sign I do not care who takes this bloody hill I'm angry and I'm tired all the time I wish there was a treaty, I wish there was a treaty Between your love and mine

I’m lacing up my shoe But I don’t want to run I’ll get here when I do Don’t need no starting gun

Thanks For The Dance

Ah, they're dancing in the street — it's Jubilee We sold ourselves for love but now we're free I'm so sorry for that ghost I made you be Only one of us was real and that was me

And I'm still working with the wine, still dancing cheek to cheek, the band is playing Auld Lang Syne, but the heart will not retreat.

And maybe I had miles to drive, And promises to keep: You ditch it all to stay alive, A Thousand Kisses Deep.

Baby don’t ignore me We were smokers we were friends Forget that tired story Of betrayal and revenge

So you can stick your little pins in that voodoo doll I'm very sorry, baby, doesn't look like me at all I'm standing by the window where the light is strong Ah they don't let a woman kill you Not in the Tower of Song

Show me the place, help me roll away the stone Show me the place, I can't move this thing alone Show me the place where the word became a man Show me the place where the suffering began

And you're weak and you're harmless and you're sleeping in your harness and the wind going wild in the trees, and it ain't exactly prison but you'll never be forgiven for whatever you've done with the keys.

Steer your heart past the Truth that you believed in yesterday Such as Fundamental Goodness and the Wisdom of the Way Steer your heart, precious heart, past the women whom you bought Year by year, month by month, day by day Thought by thought

Word of words and measure of all measures Blessed is the name, the name be blessed Written on my heart in burning letters That’s all I know, I cannot read the rest

And O my love, I still recall The pleasures that we knew; The rivers and the waterfall, Wherein I bathed with you.

You said how could this happen You said how can this be The chains are gone from heaven The storms are wild and free

I cried for you this morning And I’ll cry for you again But I’m not in charge of sorrow So please don’t ask me when

Both of us say there are laws to obey But frankly I don’t like your tone You want to change the way I make love I want to leave it alone

Behold the gates of mercy In arbitrary space And none of us deserving The cruelty or the grace

Then I came back from where I’d been. My room, it looked the same – But there was nothing left between The Nameless and the Name.

O longing of the branches To lift the little bud O longing of the arteries To purify the blood

I to my side call the meek and the mild You to your side call the Word By virtue of suffering I claim to have won You claim to have never been heard

I know I said I’d meet you, I’d meet you at the store, But I can’t buy it, baby. I can’t buy it anymore.

I was idle with my soul, when I heard that you could use me I followed very closely, but my life remained the same But then you showed me where you had been wounded In every atom broken is the Name

I fled to the edge of the mighty sea of sorrow Pursued by the riders of a cruel and dark regime But the waters parted and my soul crossed over Out of Egypt, out of Pharaoh’s dream

They whisper still, the injured stones The blunted mountains weep As he died to make men holy Let us die to make things cheap

Sounded like the truth Seemed the better way Sounded like the truth But it's not the truth today

Hurt once and for all into silence. A long pain ending without a song to prove it. Who could stand beside you so close to Eden, When you glinted in every eye the held-high razor, shivering every ram and son?

Sleep baby sleep The day’s on the run The wind in the trees Is talking in tongues

And I loved you when our love was blessed and I love you now there's nothing left

There's silt on your ankles and sand on your feet The river too shallow, the ocean too deep You smile at your suffering, the sweetest reprieve Why did you leave us, why did you leave

I saw some people starving There was murder, there was rape Their villages were burning They were trying to escape I couldn't meet their glances I was staring at my shoes It was acid, it was tragic It was almost like the blues

If you want a partner Take my hand Or if you want to strike me down in anger Here I stand, I'm your man

Ah I don't believe you'd like it, You wouldn't like it here. There ain't no entertainment and the judgements are severe.

The opposites falter, the spirals reverse And Eve must re-enter the sleep of her birth

I don't need to be forgiven for loving you so much It's written in the scriptures It's written there in blood I even heard the angels declare it from above

Sometimes I’d head for the highway I’m old and the mirrors don’t lie But crazy has places to hide in That are deeper than any goodbye

If you want a boxer I will step into the ring for you And if you want a doctor I'll examine every inch of you

Yeah we're drinking and we're dancing but there's nothing really happening and the place is dead as Heaven on a Saturday night And my very close companion gets me fumbling gets me laughing she's a hundred but she's wearing something tight and I lift my glass to the Awful Truth which you can't reveal to the Ears of Youth except to say it isn't worth a dime And the whole damn place goes crazy twice and it's once for the devil and once for Christ but the Boss don't like these dizzy heights we're busted in the blinding lights, busted in the blinding lights of CLOSING TIME

I want him to be certain That he doesn't have a burden That he doesn't need a vision That he only has permission To do my instant bidding which is to Say what I have told him to repeat

Though I take my song From a withered limb, Both song and tree, They sing for him.

Everybody knows that the boat is leaking Everybody knows that the captain lied Everybody got this broken feeling Like their father or their dog just died

Ditched on a beach Where the sea hates to go With a child in my arms And a chill in my soul And my heart the shape Of a begging bowl

And she says, Drink deeply, pilgrim but don't forget there's still a woman beneath this resplendent chemise.

You don't need a lawyer I'm not making a claim You don't need to surrender I'm not taking aim I don't need a lover, no, no The wretched beast is tame I don't need a lover So blow out the flame

O gather up the brokenness And bring it to me now The fragrance of those promises You never dared to vow

And I don’t really know who sent me, To raise my voice and say: May the lights in The Land of Plenty Shine on the truth some day.

There's a bar where the boys have stopped talking They've been sentenced to death by the blues

I know the burden’s heavy As you wheel it through the night Some people say it’s empty But that don’t mean it’s light

Ten New Songs

I better hold my tongue I better take my place Lift this glass of blood Try to say the grace

You came to me this morning and you handled me like meat. You’d have to be a man to know how good that feels, how sweet.

A sip of wine, a cigarette, And then it’s time to go. I tidied up the kitchenette; I tuned the old banjo. I’m wanted at the traffic-jam. They’re saving me a seat. I’m what I am, and what I am, Is back on Boogie Street.

Down in the valley the famine goes on The famine up on the hill I say that you shouldn’t, you couldn’t, you can’t You say that you must and you will

So we struggle and we stagger down the snakes and up the ladder to the tower where the blessed hours chime and I swear it happened just like this: a sigh, a cry, a hungry kiss the Gates of Love they budged an inch I can't say much has happened since

And I'll bury my soul in a scrapbook, With the photographs there, and the moss And I'll yield to the flood of your beauty My cheap violin and my cross

Then she dances so graceful and your heart's hard and hateful and she's naked but that's just a tease. And you turn in disgust from your hatred and from your love and comes to you light as the breeze.

I see the Ghost of Culture With numbers on his wrist Salute some new conclusion Which all of us have missed

I tried to love you my way, But I couldn’t make it hold. So I closed the Book of Longing And I do what I am told.

And up through the system the worlds are withdrawn From every dominion the mind stood upon And now that it's over and now that it's done The name has no number, not even the one

You got me singing Like a prisoner in a jail You got me singing Like my pardon's in the mail

You can add up the parts But you won't have the sum You can strike up the march, There is no drum Every heart, every heart To love will come But like a refugee.

Everybody knows you've been discreet But there were so many people you just had to meet Without your clothes And everybody knows

It's coming from the sorrow in the street, the holy places where the races meet; from the homicidal bitchin' that goes down in every kitchen to determine who will serve and who will eat. From the wells of disappointment where the women kneel to pray for the grace of God in the desert here and the desert far away:

Even though she sleeps upon your satin Even though she wakes you with a kiss Do not say the moment was imagined Do not stoop to strategies like this

I smile when I'm angry I cheat and I lie I do what I have to do To get by But I know what is wrong And I know what is right And I'd die for the truth In My Secret Life

I loved you for your beauty but that doesn't make a fool of me: you were in it for your beauty too and I loved you for your body there's a voice that sounds like God to me declaring, declaring, declaring that your body's really you

O baby I waited so long for your kiss for something to happen, oh something like this.

O let the heavens falter And let the earth proclaim: Come healing of the Altar Come healing of the Name

If you're squeezed for information, that's when you've got to play it dumb: You just say you're out there waiting for the miracle, for the miracle to come.

You put on a uniform To fight the Civil War You looked so good I didn’t care What side you’re fighting for

Did you confuse the Messiah in a mirror and rest because he had finally come? Let me cry Help beside you, Teacher.

It's coming to America first, the cradle of the best and of the worst. It's here they got the range and the machinery for change and it's here they got the spiritual thirst. It's here the family's broken and it's here the lonely say that the heart has got to open in a fundamental way:

I said to Hank Williams: how lonely does it get? Hank Williams hasn't answered yet But I hear him coughing all night long A hundred floors above me In the Tower of Song

Sail on, sail on O mighty Ship of State! To the Shores of Need Past the Reefs of Greed Through the Squalls of Hate Sail on, sail on

Ah the wars they will Be fought again The holy dove She will be caught again Bought and sold And bought again The dove is never free.

I should have seen it coming It was right behind your eyes You were young and it was summer I just had to take a dive Winning you was easy But darkness was the prize

The party’s over But I’ve landed on my feet I’ll be standing on this corner Where there used to be a street

I know you had to lie to me, I know you had to cheat, to pose all hot and high behind the veils of shear deceit, our perfect porn aristocrat so elegant and cheap, I’m old but I’m still into that, A thousand kisses deep.

It’s not a trick, your senses all deceiving A fitful dream, the morning will exhaust – Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving Then say goodbye to Alexandra lost

If you want a lover I'll do anything you ask me to And if you want another kind of love I'll wear a mask for you

It's dark now and it's snowing O my love I must be going, The river has started to freeze. And I'm sick of pretending I'm broken from bending I've lived too long on my knees.

Well I don't know about tomorrow but I know what's coming next I've used up all my questions; I have no answers left

As for the world the job the war I ditched them all to love you more

The story's been written the letter's been sealed You gave me a lily but now it's a field

Your story was so long, The plot was so intense, It took you years to cross The lines of self-defense.

And soon there's sand in every kiss And soon the dawn is ready And soon the night surrenders To a daffodil machete

Waiting for the miracle There's nothing left to do. I haven't been this happy since the end of World War II.

The troubles came I saved what I could save A thread of light, a particle, a wave But there were chains, so I hastened to behave There were chains, so I loved you like a slave

his waltz With its very own breath of brandy and Death Dragging its tail in the sea

They sentenced me to twenty years of boredom For trying to change the system from within I'm coming now, I'm coming to reward them First we take Manhattan, then we take Berlin

They oughta give my heart a medal For letting go of you When I turned my back on the devil Turned my back on the angel too

Had to go crazy to love you You who were never the one Whom I chased through the souvenir heartache Her braids and her blouse all undone

Well the mouse ate the crumb Then the cat ate the crust Now they’ve fallen in love They’re talking in tongues

There’s other ways to answer That certainly is true Me, I’m blind with death and anger And that’s no place for you

I'm guided by a signal in the heavens I'm guided by this birthmark on my skin I'm guided by the beauty of our weapons

I was fighting with temptation But I didn't want to win A man like me don't like to see Temptation caving in

I know that I’m forgiven, But I don’t know how I know I don’t trust my inner feelings – Inner feelings come and go.

And sometimes when the night is slow, The wretched and the meek, We gather up our hearts and go, A Thousand Kisses Deep.

I dreamed about you, baby. It was just the other night. Most of you was naked Ah but some of you was light.

I don’t know why I come here, knowing as I do, what you really think of me, what I really think of you.

Had to go crazy to love you Had to let everything fall Had to be people I hated Had to be no one at all

I used to love the rainbow And I used to love the view I loved the early morning I'd pretend that it was new But I caught the darkness baby And I got it worse than you

Traveling light It's au revoir My once so bright, my fallen star I'm running late, they'll close the bar I used to play one mean guitar

I dreamed about you baby You were wearing half your dress I know you have to hate me But could you hate me less?

The night of Santiago And I was passing through So I took her to the river As any man would do

Let's keep it on the level When I walked away from you I turned my back on the devil Turned my back on the angel too

I’m turning tricks, I’m getting fixed, I’m back on Boogie Street. You lose your grip, and then you slip Into the Masterpiece.

So we'll go no more a-roving So late into the night, Though the heart be still as loving, And the moon be still as bright. For the sword outwears its sheath, And the soul outwears the breast, And the heart must pause to breathe, And love itself have rest.

You got me singing Even tho' it all looks grim You got me singing The Hallelujah hymn

I'm aching for you baby I can't pretend I'm not I need to see you naked In your body and your thought

If your heart is torn I don’t wonder why If the night is long Here’s my lullaby

I'm sentimental, if you know what I mean I love the country but I can't stand the scene. And I'm neither left or right I'm just staying home tonight, getting lost in that hopeless little screen.

Now in Vienna there's ten pretty women There's a shoulder where Death comes to cry There's a lobby with nine hundred windows There's a tree where the doves go to die There's a piece that was torn from the morning And it hangs in the Gallery of Frost

Oh I want you, I want you, I want you On a chair with a dead magazine In the cave at the tip of the lily In some hallways where love's never been On a bed where the moon has been sweating In a cry filled with footsteps and sand

And everybody knows that you're in trouble Everybody knows what you've been through From the bloody cross on top of Calvary To the beach of Malibu

Ah you drift into my dreams as if you had the right And you show me how you broke me doing all the little things I really like

I gave her something pretty And I waited till she laughed I wasn't born a gypsy To make a woman sad

There is no God in Heaven And there is no Hell below So says the great professor Of all there is to know But I've had the invitation That a sinner can't refuse And it's almost like salvation It's almost like the blues

The war was lost The treaty signed I was not caught I crossed the line, I had to leave My life behind I dug some graves You'll never findI was not caught Though many tried I live among you Well disguised

Now I'm living in this temple Where they tell you what to do I'm old and I've had to settle On a different point of view

Too late to fix another drink – The lights are going out – I’ll listen to the darkness sing – I know what that’s about.

I loved you when you opened like a lily to the heat, you see I’m just another snowman standing in the rain and sleet, who loved you with his frozen love, his second hand physique, with all he is, and all he was, A thousand kisses deep.

And death is old But it's always new I freeze with fear And I'm there for you

I don't smoke no cigarette I don't drink no alcohol I ain't had much loving yet But that's always been your call Hey I don't miss it baby I got no taste for anything at all

I’ll try to say a little more: Love went on and on Until it reached an open door – Then Love Itself Love Itself was gone.

I said there'd been a flood. I said there's nothing left. I hoped that you would come. I gave you my address.

So I let my heart get frozen To keep away the rot My father says I'm chosen My mother says I'm not

O Crown of Light, O Darkened One, I never thought we’d meet. You kiss my lips, and then it’s done: I’m back on Boogie Street.

Ah, the moon's too bright The chain's too tight The beast won't go to sleep

And he cut my lip And he cut my heart. So I could not drink From the river dark.

O solitude of longing Where love has been confined Come healing of the body Come healing of the mind

My mirrored twin, my next of kin, I’d know you in my sleep and who but you would take me in, a thousand kisses deep.

Suddenly the night has grown colder The god of love preparing to depart Alexandra hoisted on his shoulder They slip between the sentries of the heart

But I'm stubborn as those garbage bags that Time cannot decay, I'm junk but I'm still holding up this little wild bouquet

The autumn moved across your skin, got something in my eye, a light that doesn’t need to live, and doesn’t need to die. A riddle in the book of love, obscure and obsolete, till witnessed here in time and blood, A thousand kisses deep.

There's nobody missing There is no reward Little by little We're cutting the cord We're spending the treasure, oh, no, no That love cannot afford I know you can feel it The sweetness restored

The ponies run, the girls are young, The odds are there to beat. You win a while, and then it’s done – Your little winning streak.

I like to take my time I like to linger as it flies A weekend on your lips A lifetime in your eyes

Then he struck my heart With a deadly force, And he said, ‘This heart: It is not yours.’

Everybody knows that you love me baby Everybody knows that you really do Everybody knows that you've been faithful Ah give or take a night or two

Steer your way past the ruins of the Altar and the Mall Steer your way through the fables of Creation and The Fall Steer your way past the Palaces that rise above the rot Year by year, month by month, day by day Thought by thought

Your crazy fragrance all around Your secrets in my view My lost, my lost was saying found My don't was saying do

Ring the bells that still can ring Forget your perfect offering There is a crack a crack in everything That's how the light gets in.

Steer your way through the pain that is far more real than you That's smashed the Cosmic Model, that blinded every view And please don't make me go there, though there be a God or not Year by year, month by month, day by day Thought by thought

You sent me here You sent me there Breaking things I can't repair Making objects Out of thoughts Making more By thinking not

And you who were bewildered by a meaning Whose code was broken, crucifix uncrossed – Say goodbye to Alexandra leaving Then say goodbye to Alexandra lost

I see you standing on the other side I don't know how the river got so wide I loved you baby, way back when And all the bridges are burning that we might have crossed But I feel so close to everything that we lost We'll never, we'll never have to lose it again

If you are the dealer, I'm out of the game If you are the healer, it means I'm broken and lame If thine is the glory then mine must be the shame You want it darker We kill the flame

I used to be your favorite drunk Good for one more laugh Then we both ran out of luck Luck was all we ever had

There'll be the breaking of the ancient Western code Your private life will suddenly explode There'll be phantoms There'll be fires on the road And the white man dancing You'll see your woman Hanging upside down Her features covered by her fallen gown And all the lousy little poets Coming round Tryin' to sound like Charlie Manson

Confined to sex, we pressed against The limits of the sea: I saw there were no oceans left For scavengers like me.

I was born like this, I had no choice I was born with the gift of a golden voice And twenty-seven angels from the Great Beyond They tied me to this table right here In the Tower of Song

I’m naked and I’m filthy And both of us are guilty

the fiddler fiddles something so sublime all the women tear their blouses off and the men they dance on the polka-dots and it's partner found, it's partner lost and it's hell to pay when the fiddler stops

I've seen the future, brother: It is murder

Who broke the heart and made it new? Who's moving on, who's kiddin' who?

So I knelt there at the delta, at the alpha and the omega, at the cradle of the river and the seas. And like a blessing come from heaven for something like a second I was healed and my heart was at ease.

And there's a mighty judgment coming, but I may be wrong You see, you hear these funny voices In the Tower of Song

Upheld by the simplicities of pleasure They gain the light, they formlessly entwine And radiant beyond your widest measure They fall among the voices and the wine

When you've fallen on the highway and you're lying in the rain, and they ask you how you're doing of course you'll say you can't complain

You always said we’re equal So let me march with you Just an extra in the sequel To the old red white and blue

She stands before you naked you can see it, you can taste it, and she comes to you light as the breeze. Now you can drink it or you can nurse it, it don't matter how you worship as long as you're down on your knees.

By the rivers dark I wandered on. I lived my life in Babylon. And I did forget My holy song: And I had no strength In Babylon.

All your moves are swift All your turns are tight Let me catch my breath I thought we had all night

Democracy is coming to the U.S.A. It's coming through a crack in the wall; on a visionary flood of alcohol; from the staggering account of the Sermon on the Mount which I don't pretend to understand at all. It's coming from the silence on the dock of the bay, from the brave, the bold, the battered heart of Chevrolet: Democracy is coming to the U.S.A.

And let the heavens hear it The penitential hymn Come healing of the spirit Come healing of the limb

There's a lover in the story But the story's still the same There's a lullaby for suffering And a paradox to blame But it's written in the scriptures And it's not some idle claim You want it darker We kill the flame

I was alone on the road, your love was so confusing And all my teachers told me that I had myself to blame But in the grip of sensual illusion A sweet unknowing unified the name

Magnified, sanctified, be thy holy name Vilified, crucified, in the human frame A million candles burning for the help that never came

They're lining up the prisoners And the guards are taking aim I struggled with some demons They were middle class and tame I didn't know I had permission to murder and to maim

So come, my friends, be not afraid. We are so lightly here. It is in love that we are made; In love we disappear.

I see my life In full review It was never me It was always you

We'll be going down so deep the river's going to weep, and the mountain's going to shout Amen!

Show me the place where my head is bendin' low Show me the place where you want your slave to go

I’m tired of choosing desire I been saved by a blessed fatigue The gates of commitment unwired And nobody trying to leave

Yeah my friends are gone and my hair is grey I ache in the places where I used to play And I'm crazy for love but I'm not coming on I'm just paying my rent every day Oh in the Tower of Song

There's an attic where children are playing Where I've got to lie down with you soon In a dream of Hungarian lanterns In the mist of some sweet afternoon And I'll see what you've chained to your sorrow All your sheep and your lilies of snow

We find ourselves on different sides Of a line nobody drew Though it all may be one in the higher eye Down here where we live it is two

I've seen the nations rise and fall I've heard their stories, heard them all But love's the only engine of survival Your servant here, he has been told To say it clear, to say it cold: It's over, it ain't going Any further And now the wheels of heaven stop You feel the devil's riding crop Get ready for the future: It is murder

I've heard the soul unfolds in the chambers of its longing And the bitter liquor sweetens in the hammered cup Ah but all the ladders of the night have fallen Just darkness now, to lift the longing up

Why don’t you come on back to the war, that’s right, get in it, why don’t you come on back to the war, it’s just beginning.

If your life is a leaf that the seasons tear off and condemn they will bind you with love that is graceful and green as a stem.

An Eskimo showed me a movie he’d recently taken of you: the poor man could hardly stop shivering, his lips and his fingers were blue. I suppose that he froze when the wind took your clothes and I guess he just never got warm. But you stand there so nice, in your blizzard of ice, oh please let me come into the storm.

I loved your master perfectly I taught him all that he knew. He was starving in some deep mystery like a man who is sure what is true.

I have begun to long for you, I who have no greed; I have begun to ask for you, I who have no need. You say you’ve gone away from me, but I can feel you when you breathe.

Hungry as an archway through which the troops have passed, I stand in ruins behind you, with your winter clothes, your broken sandal straps.

Well, you tell me that your lover has a broken limb, you say you’re kind of restless now and it’s on account of him.

Oh let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone Let me feel you moving like they do in Babylon Show me slowly what I only know the limits of Dance me to the end of love

I tried to leave you, I don’t deny I closed the book on us, at least a hundred times.

And I can’t wait to tell you to your face And I can’t wait for you to take my place You are The Naked Angel In My Heart You are The Woman With Her Legs Apart It’s written on the walls of this hotel You go to heaven once you’ve been to hell

Then let the other selves be wrong, yeah, let them manifest and come till every taste is on the tongue, till love is pierced and love is hung, and every kind of freedom done

O come with me my little one, we will find that farm and grow us grass and apples there and keep all the animals warm. And if by chance I wake at night and I ask you who I am, O take me to the slaughterhouse, I will wait there with the lamb.

Ah they’re shutting down the factory now Just when all the bills are due And the fields they’re under lock and key Tho’ the rain and the sun come through And springtime starts but then it stops In the name of something new And all the senses rise against this Coming back to you

Like a baby, stillborn, like a beast with his horn I have torn everyone who reached out for me.

We met when we were almost young deep in the green lilac park. You held on to me like I was a crucifix, as we went kneeling through the dark.

And there are no letters in the mailbox, and there are no grapes upon the vine, and there are no chocolates in the boxes anymore, and there are no diamonds in the mine.

I cried, “Oh, Lady Midnight, I fear that you grow old, the stars eat your body and the wind makes you cold

So daily I renew my idle duty I touch her here and there – I know my place I kiss her open mouth and I praise her beauty and people call me traitor to my face

But my darling says “Leonard, just let it go by That old silhouette on the great western sky” So I pick out a tune and they move right along and they’re gone like the smoke and they’re gone like this song

And why are you so quiet now standing there in the doorway? You chose your journey long before you came upon this highway.

But I swear by this song and by all that I have done wrong I will make it all up to thee.

It was deep into his fiery heart he took the dust of Joan of Arc, and then she clearly understood if he was fire, oh then she must be wood.

And Jesus was a sailor When he walked upon the water And he spent a long time watching From his lonely wooden tower And when he knew for certain Only drowning men could see him He said “All men will be sailors then Until the sea shall free them” But he himself was broken Long before the sky would open Forsaken, almost human He sank beneath your wisdom like a stone And you want to travel with him And you want to travel blind And you think maybe you’ll trust him For he’s touched your perfect body with his mind.

Your master took you travelling, well at least that’s what you said. And now do you come back to bring your prisoner wine and bread?

Your pain is no credential here, it’s just the shadow, shadow of my wound.

And here where there is no description Oh here in the moment at hand No sinner need rise up forgiven No victim need limp to the stand

I met a woman long ago her hair the black that black can go, Are you a teacher of the heart? Soft she answered no. I met a girl across the sea, her hair the gold that gold can be, Are you a teacher of the heart? Yes, but not for thee.

Oh bless thee continuous stutter Of the word being made into flesh

The cripple here that you clothe and feed is neither starved nor cold; he does not ask for your company, not at the centre, the centre of the world.

Yes, you who are broken by power, you who are absent all day, you who are kings for the sake of your children’s story, the hand of your beggar is burdened down with money, the hand of your lover is clay.

the patron Saint of envy and the grocer of despair

She used to wear her hair like you except when she was sleeping, and then she’d weave it on a loom of smoke and gold and breathing.

And may the spirit of this song, may it rise up pure and free. May it be a shield for you, a shield against the enemy.

And deep into his fiery heart he took the dust of Joan of Arc, and high above the wedding guests he hung the ashes of her wedding dress.

to wear upon my swollen appetite.“ Well, I’m glad to hear you talk this way, you know I��ve watched you riding every day and something in me yearns to win such a cold and lonesome heroine.

Come over to the window, my little darling, I’d like to try to read your palm. I used to think I was some kind of Gypsy boy before I let you take me home.

Then I took the dust of a long sleepless night and I put it in your little shoe. And then I confess that I tortured the dress that you wore for the world to look through.

And the light came from her body And the night went through her grace All summer long she touched me And I knew her, I knew her Face to face

Let’s meet tomorrow if you choose Upon the shore, beneath the bridge That they are building on some endless river

And I’ve read the Bill of Human Rights And some of it was true But there wasn’t any burden left So I’m laying it on you.”

I listened to your kisses at the door I never heard the world so clear before You ran your bath and you began to sing I felt so good I couldn’t feel a thing

Like a worm on a hook, like a knight from some old fashioned book I have saved all my ribbons for thee.

Now the flames they followed Joan of Arc as she came riding through the dark; no moon to keep her armour bright, no man to get her through this very smoky night.

And we read from pleasant Bibles that are bound in blood and skin That the wilderness is gathering All its children back again

And now this woman by your side, well, she’s asleep And there’s nothing you can give her and there’s nothing you want to keep

Just take this longing from my tongue all the lonely things my hands have done. Let me see your beauty broken down like you would do for one your love.

And she shows you where to look Among the garbage and the flowers There are heroes in the seaweed There are children in the morning They are leaning out for love And they will lean that way forever While Suzanne holds the mirror

Ah but if you cannot raise your love To a very high degree, Then you’re just the man I’ve been thinking of – So come and stand with me.

You who wish to conquer pain, you must learn, learn to serve me well.

Why don’t you try to do without him? Why don’t you try to live alone? Do you really need his hands for your passion? Do you really need his heart for your throne?

I left a wife in Tennessee And a baby in Saigon – I risked my life, but not to hear Some country-western song.

I did my best, it wasn’t much I couldn’t feel, so I tried to touch I’ve told the truth, I didn’t come to fool you And even though it all went wrong I’ll stand before the Lord of Song With nothing on my tongue but Hallelujah

Oh take this longing from my tongue, all the useless things my hands have done, untie for me your hired blue gown, like you would do for one that you love.

I heard of a saint who had loved you, so I studied all night in his school. He taught that the duty of lovers is to tarnish the golden rule. And just when I was sure that his teachings were pure he drowned himself in the pool. His body is gone but back here on the lawn his spirit continues to drool.

It’s like our visit to the moon or to that other star I guess you go for nothing if you really want to go that far.

Well I’ve been where you’re hanging, I think I can see how you’re pinned: When you’re not feeling holy, your loneliness says that you’ve sinned.

I lit a thin green candle, to make you jealous of me. But the room just filled up with mosquitos, they heard that my body was free.

Too early for the rainbow, too early for the dove These are the final days, this is the darkness, this is the flood And there is no man or woman can be touched But you who come between them will be judged

He tried to make a final stand beside the railway track She said, “The art of longing’s over and it’s never coming back.”

The judges said you missed it by a fraction rise up and brace your troops for the attack Ah the dreamers ride against the men of action Oh see the men of action falling back

Now the crickets are singing The vesper bells ringing The cat’s curled asleep in his chair I’ll go down to Bill’s Bar I can make it that far And I’ll see if my friends are still there Yes, and here’s to the few Who forgive what you do And the fewer who don’t even care And the night comes on It’s very calm I want to cross over, I want to go home But she says, Go back, go back to the World

Those who dance, begin to dance Those who weep begin Those who earnestly are lost Are lost and lost again

I asked my father, I said, “Father change my name.” The one I’m using now it’s covered up with fear and filth and cowardice and shame.

Even in your arms I know I’ll never get it right Even when you bend to give me Comfort in the night

And the last time that I saw her she was living with some boy who gives her soul an empty room and gives her body joy.

Your faith was strong but you needed proof You saw her bathing on the roof Her beauty and the moonlight overthrew you She tied you to a kitchen chair She broke your throne, and she cut your hair And from your lips she drew the Hallelujah

Ah, there is no comfort in the covens of the witch, some very clever doctor went and sterilized the bitch, and the only man of energy, yes the revolution’s pride, he trained a hundred women just to kill an unborn child.

Oh, your chains are too dark For the seas you must swim You are smiling at the seaweed But your smile is too grim

And I thank you, I thank you for doing your duty, you keepers of truth, you guardians of beauty. Your vision is right, my vision is wrong, I’m sorry for smudging the air with my song.

But here, right here, between the birthmark and the stain, between the ocean and your open vein, between the snowman and the rain, once again, once again, love calls you by your name.

For now I need your hidden love. I’m cold as a new razor blade. You left when I told you I was curious, I never said that I was brave.

Your letters they all say that you’re beside me now. Then why do I feel alone? I’m standing on a ledge and your fine spider web is fastening my ankle to a stone.

I leave the lady meditating on the very love which I, I do not wish to claim, I journey down the hundred steps, but the street is still the very same.

And I sing this for the captain Whose ship has not been built For the mother in confusion Her cradle still unfilled

Well, I argued all night like so many have before, saying, “Whatever you give me, I seem to need so much more.” Then she pointed at me where I kneeled on her floor, she said, “Don’t try to use me or slyly refuse me, just win me or lose me, it is this that the darkness is for.”

Some girls wander by mistake into the mess that scalpels make. Are you the teachers of my heart? We teach old hearts to break.

And now the infant with his cord is hauled in like a kite, and one eye filled with blueprints, one eye filled with night.

I believe that you heard your master sing when I was sick in bed. I suppose that he told you everything that I keep locked away in my head.

Do you remember all of those pledges That we pledged in the passionate night Ah they’re soiled now, they’re torn at the edges Like moths on a still yellow light No penance serves to renew them No massive transfusions of trust Why not even revenge can undo them So twisted these vows and so crushed

I am the distance you put between all of the moments that we will be.

I choose the rooms that I live in with care, the windows are small and the walls almost bare, there’s only one bed and there’s only one prayer; I listen all night for your step on the stair.

And now I hear your master sing, you kneel for him to come. His body is a golden string that your body is hanging from.

Through windows in the dark The children come, the children go Like arrows with no targets Like shackles made of snow

Like any dealer he was watching for the card That is so high and wild He’ll never need to deal another He was just some Joseph looking for a manger

Where are you, Judy, where are you, Anne? Where are the paths your heroes came? Wondering out loud as the bandage pulls away, was I, was I only limping, was I really lame?

And it’s time for the burden it’s time for the whip Will she walk through the flame Can he shoot from the hip

Now I’ve heard there was a secret chord That David played, and it pleased the Lord But you don’t really care for music, do you? It goes like this, the fourth, the fifth The minor fall, the major lift The baffled king composing Hallelujah

But you’ve used up all your coupons except the one that seems to be written on your wrist along with several thousand dreams.

Maybe I’m still hurting I can’t turn the other cheek But you know that I still love you It’s just that I can’t speak I looked for you in everyone And they called me on that too I lived alone but I was only Coming back to you

And they’re handing down my sentence now And I know what I must do Another mile of silence while I’m Coming back to you

The door is open, you can’t close your shelter You try the handle of the road It opens, do not be afraid It’s you my love, you who are the stranger

I’m on the side that’s always lost Against the side of Heaven I’m on the side of Snake-eyes tossed Against the side of Seven.

But you lost them in your freedom And you need him now, you’re wild Blessed is the memory Of everybody’s child

Then fire, make your body cold, I’m going to give you mine to hold,“ saying this she climbed inside to be his one, to be his only bride.

Now the clasp of this union who fastens it tight? Who snaps it asunder the very next night Some say the rider Some say the mare Or that love’s like the smoke beyond all repair

With one hand on the hexagram and one hand on the girl I balance on a wishing well that all men call the world.

As a falling leaf may rest A moment on the air So your head upon my breast So my hand upon your hair

I’m not asking for mercy Not from the man You just don’t ask for mercy While you’re still on the stand

And many nights endure Without a moon or star So we will endure When one is gone and far

And then leaning on your window sill He’ll say one day you caused his will To weaken with your love and warmth and shelter

The rain falls down on last year’s man An hour has gone by And he has not moved his hand But everything will happen if he only gives the word The lovers will rise up And the mountains touch the ground But the skylight is like skin for a drum I’ll never mend And all the rain falls down amen On the works of last year’s man

You’re faithful to the better man, I’m afraid that he left. So let me judge your love affair in this very room where I have sentenced mine to death.

If I, if I have been untrue I hope you know it was never to you.

Then I saw you naked in the early dawn, oh, I hoped you would be someone new. I reached for you but you were gone, so lady I’m going too.

And there’s nothing to follow There’s nowhere to go She’s gone like the summer gone like the snow

That’s all I can say, baby That’s all I can say It wasn’t for nothing That they put me away I fell with my angel Down the chain of command There’s a Law, there’s an Arm, there’s a Hand

Lost in the rages of fragrance Lost in the rags of remorse Lost in the waves of a sickness That loosens the high silver nerves

When I am on a pedestal, you did not raise me there. Your laws do not compel me to kneel grotesque and bare. I myself am the pedestal for this ugly hump at which you stare

We are so small between the stars, so large against the sky, and lost among the subway crowds I try to catch your eye.

You met him at some temple, where they take your clothes at the door. He was just a numberless man in a chair who’d just come back from the war.

And when we fell together all our flesh was like a veil That I had to draw aside to see The serpent eat its tail

Some women wait for Jesus, and some women wait for Cain So I hang upon my altar And I hoist my axe again And I take the one who finds me back to where it all began When Jesus was the honeymoon And Cain was just the man

But I lingered on her thighs a fatal moment I kissed her lips as though I thirsted still My falsity had stung me like a hornet The poison sank and it paralysed my will

in city and in forest they smiled like me and you, but now it’s come to distances and both of us must try, your eyes are soft with sorrow, Hey, that’s no way to say goodbye.

Now my heart’s like a blister From doing what I do If the moon has a sister It’s got to be you

And where, where, where is my Gypsy wife tonight I’ve heard all the wild reports, they can’t be right But whose head is this she’s dancing with on the threshing floor Whose darkness deepens in her arms a little more

Do you want to be the ditch around a tower? Do you want to be the moonlight in his cave? Do you want to give your blessing to his power as he goes whistling past his daddy, past his daddy’s grave

If it be your will That a voice be true From this broken hill I will sing to you From this broken hill All your praises they shall ring If it be your will To let me sing

The age of lust is giving birth, and both the parents ask the nurse to tell them fairy tales on both sides of the glass.

But let me ask you one more time, O children of the dusk, All these hunters who are shrieking now oh do they speak for us?

And the vow of compassion That you swore through your teeth When the war began to end And the photographs weep

Goodnight, my darling, I hope you’re satisfied, the bed is kind of narrow, but my arms are open wide. And here’s a man still working for your smile.

Yes you who must leave everything that you cannot control. It begins with your family, but soon it comes around to your soul.

I’m not looking for another as I wander in my time, walk me to the corner, our steps will always rhyme you know my love goes with you as your love stays with me, it’s just the way it changes, like the shoreline and the sea, but let’s not talk of love or chains and things we can’t untie, your eyes are soft with sorrow, Hey, that’s no way to say goodbye.

Do not dress in those rags for me, I know you are not poor; you don’t love me quite so fiercely now when you know that you are not sure, it is your turn, beloved, it is your flesh that I wear.

A war between the odd and the even.

Well I stepped into an avalanche, it covered up my soul; when I am not this hunchback that you see, I sleep beneath the golden hill.

And here, right here, between the dancer and his cane, between the sailboat and the drain, between the newsreel and your tiny pain, once again, once again, love calls you by your name.

I changed my style to silver I changed my clothes to black And where I would surrender Ah now I would attack

She said, "I’m tired of the war, I want the kind of work I had before, a wedding dress or something white to wear upon my swollen appetite.”

Then lay your rose on the fire The fire give up to the sun The sun give over to splendour In the arms of the high holy one

And draw us near And bind us tight All your children here In their rags of light In our rags of light All dressed to kill And end this night If it be your will

I met a man who lost his mind in some lost place I had to find, follow me the wise man said, but he walked behind.

I asked her to hold me, I said, “Lady, unfold me,” but she scorned me and she told me I was dead and I could never return.

Well I lived with a child of snow when I was a soldier, and I fought every man for her until the nights grew colder.

Into this furnace I ask you now to venture…

She took his tavern parliament, his cap, his cocky dance, she mocked his female fashions and his working-class moustache.

Like a bird on the wire, like a drunk in a midnight choir I have tried in my way to be free.

She took his much admired oriental frame of mind and the heart-of-darkness alibi his money hides behind She took his blonde madonna and his monastery wine – “This mental space is occupied and everything is mine.”

Suzanne takes you down to her place near the river You can hear the boats go by You can spend the night beside her And you know that she’s half crazy But that’s why you want to be there And she feeds you tea and oranges That come all the way from China And just when you mean to tell her That you have no love to give her Then she gets you on her wavelength And she lets the river answer That you’ve always been her lover And you want to travel with her And you want to travel blind And you know that she will trust you For you’ve touched her perfect body with your mind.

So, now that you’ve decided To follow the sun Like a shadow of birds Or a king on the run

Well, I’ve been waiting, I was sure We’d meet between the trains we’re waiting for I think it’s time to board another Please understand, I never had a secret chart To get me to the heart of this Or any other matter While he talks like this, you don’t know what he’s after When he speaks like this, you don’t know what he’s after

Or she’ll make a break for the high plateau where there’s nothing above and there’s nothing below

The baby’s crying, so you do not go outside, and all your work it’s right before your eyes.

I met a lady, she was playing with her soldiers in the dark Oh one by one she had to tell them That her name was Joan of Arc

And you wrap up his tired face in your hair and he hands you the apple core. Then he touches your lips now so suddenly bare of all the kisses we put on some time before.

I fought in the old revolution on the side of the ghost and the King. Of course I was very young and I thought that we were winning; I can’t pretend I still feel very much like singing as they carry the bodies away.

Oh, you are really such a pretty one. I see you’ve gone and changed your name again. And just when I climbed this whole mountainside, to wash my eyelids in the rain!

Do you need to hold a leash to be a lady?

And who are you?“ she sternly spoke to the one beneath the smoke. "Why, I’m fire,” he replied, “And I love your solitude, I love your pride.

Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove

Just open up your dainty little hand. You know this life is filled with many sweet companions, many satisfying one-night stands.

And come forth from the cloud of unknowing And kiss the cheek of the moon

But climb on your tears and be silent Like a rose on its ladder of thorns

the crumbs of love that you offer me, they’re the crumbs I’ve left behind.

Yes, and here, right here between the moonlight and the lane, between the tunnel and the train, between the victim and his stain, once again, once again, love calls you by your name.

There’s a blaze of light in every word It doesn’t matter which you heard The holy or the broken Hallelujah

There is a war between the ones who say there is a war and the ones who say there isn’t.

Oh sometimes I see her undressing for me, she’s the soft naked lady love meant her to be and she’s moving her body so brave and so free. If I’ve got to remember that’s a fine memory.

O lady with your legs so fine O stranger at your wheel, You are locked into your suffering and your pleasures are the seal.

He said, "I locked you in this body, I meant it as a kind of trial. You can use it for a weapon, or to make some woman smile.”

But the Rose I sickened with a scarlet fever and the Swan I tempted with a sense of shame She said at last I was her finest lover and if she withered I would be to blame

You will never see a man this naked I will never hold a woman this close

And you say you’ve been humbled in love Cut down in your love Forced to kneel in the mud next to me Ah but why so bitterly turn from the one Who kneels there as deeply as thee

I went down to the place Where I knew she lay waiting Under the marble and the snow I said, Mother I’m frightened The thunder and the lightning I’ll never come through this alone She said, I’ll be with you My shawl wrapped around you My hand on your head when you go And the night came on It was very calm I wanted the night to go on and on But she said, Go back, Go back to the World

May Christ have mercy on your soul For making such a joke Amid these hearts that burn like coal And the flesh that rose like smoke.

As the mist leaves no scar On the dark green hill So my body leaves no scar On you and never will

I showed my heart to the doctor: he said I just have to quit. Then he wrote himself a prescription, and your name was mentioned in it! Then he locked himself in a library shelf with the details of our honeymoon, and I hear from the nurse that he’s gotten much worse and his practice is all in a ruin.

And though I wear a uniform I was not born to fight All these wounded boys you lie beside Goodnight, my friends, goodnight

One by one, the guests arrive The guests are coming through The open-hearted many The broken-hearted few And no one knows where the night is going And no one knows why the wine is flowing Oh love I need you

I greet you from the other side Of sorrow and despair With a love so vast and shattered It will reach you everywhere

So you moved away the mountain That the sun rose behind And you said yourself a prayer And laid down with the blind

Your body like a searchlight my poverty revealed, I would like to try your charity until you cry, “Now you must try my greed.” And everything depends upon how near you sleep to me

and I lean from my window sill in this old hotel I chose, yes one hand on my suicide, one hand on the rose.

Ah the silver knives are flashing in the tired old cafe A ghost climbs on the table in a bridal negligee She says, My body is the light, my body is the way” I raise my arm against it all and I catch the bride’s bouquet

Children have takes these pledges They have ferried them out of the past Oh beyond all the graves and the hedges Where love must go hiding at last

It’s hard to hold the hand of anyone Who is reaching for the sky just to surrender

The river is swollen up with rusty cans and the trees are burning in your promised land.

Your father’s gone a-hunting Through the silver and the glass Where only greed can enter But spirit, spirit cannot pass

And all the ladies go moist, and the judge has no choice, a singer must die for the lie in his voice.

and there is no space but there’s left and right and there is no time but there’s day and night

Your father’s gone a-hunting And he’s lost his lucky charm And he’s lost the guardian heart That keeps the hunter from the harm

It’s not the news of burning towns that ruins your mind Like a spool you turn and you turn but it won’t unwind No these wars you did not start, they don’t tear your sleep apart It’s just a man taking what he needs from the store room

True love leaves no traces If you and I are one It’s lost in our embraces Like stars against the sun

And the crickets are breaking his heart with their song as the day caves in and the night is all wrong

Now the courtroom is quiet, but who will confess. Is it true you betrayed us? The answer is Yes. Then read me the list of the crimes that are mine, I will ask for the mercy that you love to decline.

I sang my songs, I told my lies, to lie between your matchless thighs.

Why do you stand by the window Abandoned to beauty and pride The thorn of the night in your bosom The spear of the age in your side

And clenching your fist for the ones like us who are oppressed by the figures of beauty, you fixed yourself, you said, “Well never mind, we are ugly but we have the music.”

Trav'ling lady stay awhile until the night is over. I’m just a station on your way, I know I’m not your lover.

Just take this longing from my tongue, all the useless things my hands have done, let me see your beauty broken down, like you would do for one you love.

Let your mercy spill On all these burning hearts in hell If it be your will To make us well

Oh the world is sweet the world is wide and she’s there where the light and the darkness divide and the steam’s coming off her she’s huge and she’s shy and she steps on the moon when she paws at the sky

And while he talks his dreams to sleep You notice there’s a highway That is curling up like smoke above his shoulder

For the heart with no companion For the soul without a king For the prima ballerina Who cannot dance to anything

You kept right on loving, I went on a fast, now I am too thin and your love is too vast.

I saw her wince, I saw her cry, I saw the glory in her eye. Myself I long for love and light, but must it come so cruel, and oh so bright?

I loved you in the morning, our kisses deep and warm, your hair upon the pillow like a sleepy golden storm, yes many loved before us, I know that we are not new, in city and in forest they smiled like me and you

Well you know that I love to live with you, but you make me forget so very much. I forget to pray for the angels and then the angels forget to pray for us.

I know you need your sleep now, I know your life’s been hard. But many men are falling, where you promised to stand guard.

And she comes to his hand but she’s not really tame She longs to be lost he longs for the same

Now I look for her always I’m lost in this calling I’m tied to the threads of some prayer Saying, When will she summon me When will she come to me What must I do to prepare When she bends to my longing Like a willow, like a fountain She stands in the luminous air And the night comes on And it’s very calm I lie in her arms she says, When I’m gone I’ll be yours, yours for a song

Through the days of shame that are coming Through the nights of wild distress Tho’ your promise count for nothing You must keep it nonetheless

Oh the sisters of mercy, they are not departed or gone. They were waiting for me when I thought that I just can’t go on. And they brought me their comfort and later they brought me this song. Oh I hope you run into them, you who’ve been travelling so long.

Dance me to the children who are asking to be born Dance me through the curtains that our kisses have outworn Raise a tent of shelter now, though every thread is torn Dance me to the end of love

The walls of this hotel are paper-thin Last night I heard you making love to him The struggle mouth to mouth and limb to limb The grunt of unity when he came in I stood there with my ear against the wall I was not seized by jealousy at all In fact a burden lifted from my soul I heard that love was out of my control

Your standing days are done,“ I cried, “You’ll rally me no more. I don’t even know what side We fought on, or what for.

#Leonard Cohen

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ramiaell · 3 years

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Lunathas Contracts

Breaking and entering, not something new for him but it was the first time he had done so with a client he was bodyguarding. The Howling Owl’s employee apartments were not hard to break into, especially when this one left the balcony door unlocked. With the shadows wrapped tightly around him he snuck in and did a full sweep to make sure the apartment was secure before letting Beaureve sneak inside too. Of course due to the sweep and the small size of the apartment it was easy to tell that noone was home.

It had been a few years since he and Konietzko had last spoken, this was not how he’d have guessed they’d reunite, if at all. It was also not in a place like this that he’d expect to find him. Keeping to the shadows he witnessed as his new client chose not to poke and prod around the apartment much at all but took right to the sofa and curled up. He had not been guarding him for long yet, but he did wonder if this sort of nuance was typical of him. They both waited in silence for the Kaldorei to arrive home and since he was hidden in the shadows himself, there was no conversation between him and his client. He watched as the time passed and Beaureve fell fast asleep on that sofa as if stress and current events in his life had caught up with him. It was well into the night when the door opened and Kon arrived home, stepping down the hallway and passing by the entryway right into the kitchen without even looking into the living room as why would he? He turned on a light in the kitchen and started a kettle making some tea as he began washing his hands. The shadow in the room witnessed his first look at the Kaldorei after this time without his knowing. He looked tired and a bit fatigued but not due to poor health. If anything his health seemed to have increased greatly since they last met. He must have just returned from some sort of physical activity as he was still a bit dark in the cheeks, chest and ears from a good workout and was tending to blisters on his hand. Interesting.

Beaureve was starting to wake from the sounds in the kitchen as Konietzko put the tea on the stove and started to walk into the living room, stopping dead in his tracks with a double take to the sofa when he saw the moving body of the Shal’dorei waking up from his nap. Stone steadied himself, tucked in the shadows just behind him ready to stop him at a moment’s indication he might try to harm his client. Beyond an understandable startle he didn’t, he just jerked and stared. “Took you long enough.” Beaureve said stifling a small yawn as he rubbed at his eyes. “I mean… welcome home.”

“Well, I am terribly sorry for the inconvenience!” Kon replied with a mix of humor and shock both as he looked Beaureve over closely before opting to go to the chair next to the sofa. “Had I known I was playing host I would not have stayed so late practicing my routine. Now tell me… to what do I owe the honor of this…” He motioned to the balcony. “... break-in?”

With a smirk breaking over his lips, Beaureve just smiled. “You are forgiven. This time.” He said perfectly aware he was in the wrong but calmly combed out his hair as he sat there pleasantly. “Well it’s my lucky day I suppose, you’ve taught me a valuable lesson.” Kon said walking then over to the balcony door and pulling aside the curtains slowly looking outside. He’d close the door then slowly, pursing his lips as if he was looking for something. “I need to invest in better locks, or lock the door at all it would seem.” He said somewhat bemused yet he turned around and looked about the room with a slow gaze of his amber eyes. “Practice? Routine? Mm, so you’re turning your aspirations into reality. That’s rather wonderful to hear.” Beaureve said as he watched. “And in my defense, I did try to knock on the door first. However, after coming all this way with noone to answer? It was in my best interest to see if there was a way to wait inside.” The priest said only telling part of the story but it was enough. “And with how many letters I had to write up in order to actually receive word and meeting arrangements… I preferred a more direct approach.” He smirked. “You don’t mind. We can speak a bit now.” the priest said not leaving this open ended.

Kon stepped back over to the couch then and would find the chair to sit in as he tried to piece this all together. “Perhaps you came here seeking Talthorn? He is here often lately I’ll admit but not when I’m gone.” He said eyeing the priest a little suspiciously but he was far calmer about it than Talthorn had been. “Did you seek my contact I gave you?” He asked resisting the urge to look around the room once more. “No. I am here to see you.” The priest says bluntly. “Yes. I did.” He replied to the latter question before moving right along. “Now we can officially make arrangements. As promised. When are you available?”

Kon stared at Beaureve and his audacity with a small smirk. “I suppose I can’t be upset considering how Talthorn did choose to ignore your letters till I found them. As much as I love him dearly he has his reasons for acting as he did. But I am not him.” He pointed out as he thought a moment before responding. “You did?” He redirected the conversation back to the point on the contact. “And did he accept?” Beaureve seemed pleasantly welcome to this information and eager to ask more. “Are these reasons that you are willing to share at all?” he asked before Kon redirected the conversation. “He did. Very interesting man. This contact of yours. We’ve made a good business arrangement. Thank you again for your recommendation. I aspire to have a meeting with my issue whenever he gets my word. In the next few days most likely.” Kon knew who he was talking about with this recent issue. Well he more knew -of- them from what Beaureve and Talthorn both had told him of that incident that left Beaureve wounded and carried to the healer’s ward after Talthorn had saved him. Even the shadow in the room knew the details enough to understand this comment and where it was going. “Talthorn’s secrets are his own to share. I will only say for whatever it’s worth that his… mistrust is a valid one.” Kon looked right to Beaureve then. “Even if you were not the cause for them, just a trigger. But that is all the more I will say. If you want trust or his truths? That’s going to take time Beaureve. Time, and a significant lack of your magic. But in that too I will say no more. I’ve only said this much in the interest of trying to make this easier. For both of you.” Kon explained rubbing at his palms and the ache within them as he sighed and looked to the side. “So, the contract was made. That is good, though forgive me if I wish to make certain.” Kon said oddly as he raised his head then and would stare Beaureve right in the eyes as he spoke out louder. “Show yourself, old friend.”

Beaureve listened closely and drew in a slow breath. He was taking much from these statements but why? Why was there mistrust?! The priest was eager to figure that out. When he realized what Kon had said just then, however, he added in his own command in case his bodyguard was truly as strict as not to do so unless ordered. “Hm? Oh. Of course. Yes, please reveal yourself, Stone.”

No sooner than Beau had given the command, the shadows against the far wall on the other side of the dining room table would start to shift and lift as soon a voice was heard before the body was seen. Where Kon’s voice was deep and full of bass, his was low but more crisp and sharp. “While some things never change, some things… do. It has been a time, Kon.” The bodyguard stood leaning against the wall in full gear head to toe. Blades on his side and no doubt many more hidden throughout his attire. His face was masked, as always and those eyes as cold as winter skies peered right back at Kon’s as they made eye contact across the room.

For one who’s home was being invaded, Kon certainly didn’t seem too worked up over it. As his amber eyes met Stone’s, they softened just a bit. A hint of a sad yet genuine smile almost shadowed along his face. How bittersweet this was. “Some things do indeed, though you are not one of those things I would ever ask to change. Please, come. Sit with us. You know he is in no danger here.” Kon said motioning to the couch next to Beaureve. Beaureve motioned to the couch as well. “Yes, join us.” He confirmed and watched the exchange between them, both seeming interested in this reunion between them. At first, Stone did not move. But eventually he pushed off form the wall to step over and stand at Beaureve’s side.

“Quite the place here, I see you’ve returned to the club scene afterall?” Stone quipped as he looked firmly down at Kon having already done his research on this place before they arrived.

"I have, though not intentionally at first. But after my seclusion from the world and the dream therapy it seems... I was ready to come back. Though certainly not with such old habits as I indulged in before. Of that... I endeavor to stray from as much as possible." His eyes then flicked to Beaureve well aware he was listening and oddly enough, he didn't seem to mind. ``I think you'll come to agree in no time at all that Sivah would have liked this one. Perhaps even -you- will." He playfully smirked towards Stone.

Beaureve enjoyed collecting the information he could, seeing how they both reacted with one another. He wears his smile and finds the details intriguing but blinks at the mention here. "Sivah? Who is that? And why would they like me? " he tips his head and looks back to Stone. Stone met his gaze. “Sivandris Lumenstone, owner of the Starcaller Lure and heir to the Lumenstone Estate.” He told him as if just reciting information. “He had a way about collecting rare gems, like yourself. And each of them came with their own troubles that I always had the privilege of helping sort.” And that was all the more Stone seemed willing to share. As Stone had decided that was all the more that needed said, Kon and Beaureve spent the rest of the night discussing how their arrangement would work. As Talthorn was to give Beaureve a date of his choosing once a month, Kon would under the same rules to help make up for Talthorn’s lack of his part of the deal in the beginning of their original arrangement. By doing so Talthorn would have the ease that Beaureve would no longer be trying to sell his rare drug to anyone of the Tarts nor of the Owl so long as it was a function put on by either group or when in Talthorn’s presence. It was an exchange no one would ever know even had taken place, all for the comfort that Talthorn could protect his friends and fellow entertainers from this mind-altering drug that he had no power to stop him from creating. However, Kon saw it fit by the end of this meeting here in his home to call Beaureve out. To him, this seemed like an overly complicated agreement in contract that they would be meeting as friends to do things that friends would willingly do without a contract because they were… friends? But to Beaureve that was not the case at all. He could not understand the concept of friends so to him this was a contract and he expected it to be upheld. Despite having his point made, Kon agreed and pushed the subject no longer. The entire exchange was witnessed by Stone, but he said nothing during it. Just observed in complete silence as he did for most his guard detail he’d signed on for with Beaureve. It was not his job to state his thoughts nor opinions on any matters Beaureve had to deal with. It was only his job to ensure his safety. Thankfully, one could do that with very little said as he was not one for idle conversation. Ever. But he did not think he’d be meeting Kon again, let alone under such circumstances. It was interesting how life had a way of bringing things left unresolved back around. Even among former friends. Stone came to realize much had changed for the Kaldorei, not all but there was something very significant that he noticed right away in Kon that had not been there before. He’d come a long way on the road to recovery, and in doing so had begun truly turning his life around for the better. While Stone did not intend to be his ‘friend’ at that time and just to let everything go and move on, he was curious enough to see just where this would all lead for his current client’s future. Beaureve had alot to experience now in his ‘free’ life. Stone wasn’t so certain that experiencing it through Kon and the others he was associated with was the best way, but he wasn't paid to give his thoughts nor opinions on those matters either. They were invalid. At that time, he had only one job to do. And when the threat returned, he would do it. After that, the priest was on his own.

“Next week. At the same point we met before in Suramar. Wear something similar to that. You seem very comfortable. I’ll take care of the rest.” Beuareve said to the expectant Kaldorei as he rose to leave. Kon took a slow breath in and let it back out as he nodded his head once. “A word to the wise Beaureve, what Talthorn and I want is not always what others think. But I can easily see the same could be said for you.” The Kaldorei’s eyes shifted back to Stonel then. “You are going to have your hands full with this one.” Stone drew his gaze to Kon, “You’ve never been one to make my job easy. But we both know, that is where I thrive.” “Oh I do.” Kon said with a laugh and a smirk to follow as he watched them both turn to leave. “It will be quite the… learning experience.” He teased at Beaureve before flashing Stone a knowing look. As usual, he got no response from Stone, just that stone-faced stare before he turned away and escorted Beaureve out. “Next week then.” Kon said as he watched them go and looked to the couch in thought. Maybe he would omit that part to Talthorn; he doubted his love would ever be able to let go the thought of Beaureve breaking into his apartment. What a little shit.

((A former rp from last year recapped in a shorter format though it still includes both our writing. A fun look at the beginnings of Talthorn, Kon, Beaureve and Rami’s friendship that few know about. While the rp has gone places none of us could imagine at that time, it has been a real trip to reflect back to this rp and the reunion of Kon and Stone as witnessed by Beau. Mentions too @beaureve-lunathas , @talthorn-sylvoran , @konietzko-lumenstone ))

@daily-writing-challenge

#dwc2021 #day12021 #Ramiaell #Beaureve #Konietzko #Talthorn #Howling Owl #breaking and entering #Reunion #my writing

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