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tfw-no-tennis · 3 years

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mtmte liveblog issue 22

oooh man, its time to feel some EMOTIONS!

I'm BACK after a hiatus, which was due in part to me getting my 1st dose of the covid vaccine! woohoo!

anyways, starting here w/issue 22....we have a great cover w/thunderclash, the legend himself

oof. the covers made me forget how much I don't like the art this issue...I hate to be mean to the artists but this art style just isn't doin it for me chief

god I love this issue though. the framing device of rewind’s movie is so so fantastic

tailgate listing off all his fake awards/accomplishments....ily

rodimus my boy, you're a prime in my heart

the ‘not a decepticon’ label for cyclonus is so much hvbhkjfbskjf

I literally wanna comment on every single panel bc I love all the characters so much but then id be here forever...that being said whirl ily sm

hvbjdfbhsfjhdfshja BRAINSTORM ‘according to perceptor - ships genius’ hvhdkjhbfhjs ily dumb gay idiot

and then the cut to perceptor after brainstorm like, blew up his lab vjbkdsfnbksjf dude

GODDDDDD drift ‘your name...defines you. it’s your soul expressed in syllables. hm? oh, yes, sorry. it’s drift.’ GOD he’s so fucking funny. I love early story hippy drift

god I cant stop thinking about how good this whole issue would be as an animated show...like, specifically rewinds film, it would be SO FUCKING GOOOOOOD mtmte show WHEN

rewiiiiind ;_; I fuckgin love rewind god. fellow video editing enthusiast....

ohhhh rodimus being embarrassed about his big speech at the beginning of mtmte....my boy I love u so much

gjhnbgehjsrkfbjksf magnus being suspicious of rewind oh my god. magnus ily but please, look at the lil guy, he’s a good boy, most of the time

the fuckgin footage that magnus removed hbvhakjbfhskf god. wasn't that intended to be footage of magnus dancing? I love him

minibot squad.....

and here it begins, the mystery stick rung question...

poor rung oh my god he’s just trying to polish his lil spaceship and people r throwing shit at him. taking Ls as per usual it seems

hand grenade tag hvbfjksdnfbkjdf love that callback

noooo rungs ship :(

magnus’s censorship vhbhadkjfhdbhjsakjhfn

oh man I forgot about how they met that race of Transformers But More

the one-upsmanship hbvkajsbehfjks

whirrrrrl lmao I love whirl sm

goddddd whirl just killing that other alien and ending the 16 million yr long civil war bvkjsdbfhjjkafs so fucking much

oh god oh god the ‘are you happy’ page, I'm not emotionally equipped to handle this like, ever

but I will say I feel like it would be EVEN MORE oof if it were milne or someone drawing it bc I feel like this art style takes away from some of the impact bc the expressions aren't really that...expressive? idk how to put it

anyways. every single answer destroys me!!! like even the happy ones, like chromedome and rewind and tailgate - well, in present time, none of those three are doing so hot, so that makes this just hurt

and rung....that is so fucking depressing. jesus. this guy is so fuckng sad, somebody get him a friend stat

and swerve...ouch. this readthru I've really noticed how much early-mtmte swerve is not-so-subtly like, crying out for help bc he’s so alone and shit. jesus

also brainstorms response is just plain ole sad w/context, but at this point in the story without context, it just seems very foreboding lmao. I'm realizing this readthru that brainstorm is very sketchy and ominous in a particular ‘is he evil?’ mad scientist sorta way in early mtmte

and then everyone else is also just so OOF in their own unique sad ways, but I think the worst out of everyone is drift....GODDDDDD. especially considering that at this point in the story, drift is this kinda goofy hippy guy, so seeing him just sit there with his face in his hand, not even answering the question...AND knowing that shortly after this he’ll end up banished...IT FUCKING HURTS M8!

meanwhile, the more upbeat ‘quest to see rungs alt mode’ continues...with an ‘alt mode party’ vhbadkjsdfnabskjf it looks so silly with a bunch of cars just sitting around a table lmao

I cant even tell who everyone is bc they so rarely turn into cars n shit lmaoooooo

rodimus with the bucket on his head hbvhakjbfskjf I CANT

everyone’s reactions to thunderclash...i fucking love it

the fact that TAILGATE doesn't hate him, even though we’ve seen that tailgate tends to dislike people who are universally liked/who have achieved a lot of impressive things

rodimus you petty thot vbdkjbfdjhsakjdf ily

RODIMUS IS SO FUNNYYYYYY ‘I'm not making all these sacrifices and leading these guys into battle and being inspirational - I'm not doing that because it makes me look good’ RODIMUS VBHSKJDFNBKSJF

thunderclash talking about magnus’s article on typefaces....hdbksjfsdbkjgfb bro

AND THEN MAGNUS HUGS HIM....HGBSKJFDSHFKD I CANT

POOR DRIFT bvhajkdfbhjkjsfd rodimus saying he ‘rehabilitated him’ oh my god

the whole spectralism thing...im sorry I cant get over how funny all this is vbakdjfbksjf thunderclash rlly b out here charming rodimus’s entire crew

and then ratchet comes in, calling tc ‘thunders,’ and tc immediately notices ratchets new hands (somehow) hvbkjfhbskjf truly amazing

it cracks me up that rodimus is all 😒😒 at thunderclash, even though as we come to find out, tc really IS That Perfect, and him complimenting rodimus isn't sarcasm at all lmao

AND THEYRE LOOKING FOR THE KNIGHTS OF CYBERTRON TOO HVSDHFJBSHKHDFJS OF COURSE

the vis vitalis being a life support machine spaceship is a really cool concept tho

‘rescuing some orphans from an exploding sun’ I fucking cant

evil guy: [holds a gun to thunderclash’s head]

rodimus: :D finally something doesn't go his way!

he’s so petty I’m..........dkdjhfdabhduifadijgl

and its the aliens from earlier! oooh

GODDD I forgot that swerve used rung in mystery stick mode to SCHWACK the guy

rung casually dropping the fact that the functionists like, experimented on him...there's a lot of implications there, and that'll certainly be explored more later...

the fact that his ID card says ‘rong’ hvbhjakhdsbfakhsjfn

oughufadkfujbsfk the circle of light throwing wrenches n shit at skids...guys cmon vbhsdjkfnslfd

the circle of light is like ‘wtf you all have trauma and a bunch of weird unhealthy coping mechanisms this is wack byeeeee’ lmao

skids calling the lost light his home is rlly sweet tho

cant believe the religious space hippy cult is being so rude about a film made by a guy who died like a week ago. unreal

cd finally figured out how to make the pffft sound, good for him

AUGHHHHH the fact that rewind used ‘little victories’ as the title of the film and that's something that chromedome said in the video ;_; I'm fucking inconsolable

rodimus, despite his obvious posturing for the camera during the whole issue, comes off as surprisingly genuine when he says that he hasn't thought about his own future much, but wants the crew to have a happy ending....im gonna cry

‘who knows what's around the corner?’ tailgate, PLEASE don't say that, oh my god,

OUGHHHH GROUP SHOT

OHHH mannnnNNNNN i love this issue SO MUCH. what a good fun emotional rollercoaster wrap-up to mtmte s1. god.

like, this issue has it all - humor, drama, crippling sadness, intrigue, worldbuilding...it’s so excellent

and getting to see rewind again hurts so bad but also I love him

ok quick mtmte s1 retrospective...god s1 is so fucking good. I'm gonna have to read more to say which chunk of mtmte I liked best but s1 is so fucking excellent that it might be my favorite. though its hard to pick bc there's so much good stuff later on too...whatever, the point is s1 is so so good

the plotlines and characters are fucking stellar. like I cant even believe how well Everything works, its very impressive. I cant really think of anything major that made me go ‘yeah could've done without that plotline/character’

I love how dedicated jro is to connecting everything. I've mentioned it before but basically every single moment in the series has payoff - what you initially think is just a funny moment, or a fluffy character establishment bit, ends up ALSO being an important plot point later, in some way

an example would be here w/rung and his alt mode - it just seems like a fun little B-plot for this issue, and seems to pretty neatly conclude with the reveal that rung was eventually classified as an ‘ornament’ (lmao)...but we later on get to see a lot more about this, both here and in the functionist universe

and like, stuff like tailgate’s autobot lessons w/magnus - at first that can be seen as purely character establishment stuff, showing that magnus is a strict rule-lover and tg is a loveable try-hard good boy - but that becomes plot relevant in remain in light, with tailgate saving the day due to his knowledge of the autobot code (and its also character relevant, with magnus’s arc in remain in light).

and I know this is like. a normal regular thing in writing, but I'm just very impressed about how cleanly jro pulls it off, and how many things he’s juggling at once, especially in early mtmte - it’s very ambitious!

and we gotta remember, this is a comic book. I've read a lot of comic books, and the quality is all over the place. a lot of writers bite off more than they can chew, and the story ends up kinda scattered as a result.

another thing I see a lot in franchise writing like this is a lack of strong early character establishing due to the author assuming the readers are at least somewhat familiar with the characters already - which can be totally fair depending on where it is in the continuity, but other times it can come off as lazy

in mtmte, the cast is extremely well fleshed out, and not only that, the cast itself is unique in that there are a lot of relative unknowns (franchise-wise) - which I think was an absolutely brilliant move, because then jro was able to essentially create The Definitive Version of these characters - characters like swerve, brainstorm, chromedome, rewind, tailgate...mtmte is their baseline characterization, because they haven't really appeared in much else

this also allows for deviation from the franchise norms - again, a comic book classic is good writing being stifled by a need to stick to a certain status quo regard the characters, the world, the powers, relationships, etc

(I've mostly read DC comics, and some marvel, so I'm thinking superheroes w/all these comic comparisons)

so mtmte had a good recipe for genuine creativity in that the characters were relative unknowns, the plot was basically ‘space road trip,’ the status quo of ‘autobot vs decepticon war’ had been demolished throughout the entire franchise...so jro was able to take all that and run, and it turned out so fantastic

and luckily it isn't over yet! so many comics suffer from premature cancellation...and sadly mtmte/ll isn't exempt from this, as we’ll see later, but I've seen some awful ones, where comics are forced to wrap up in like 2 issues while in the middle of an arc. yikes.

but another comic staple...one of my least favorite things about comics books in general...something that was basically responsible for driving me away from comics after reading a bunch...the dreaded crossover event

yep, even mtmte isn't immune to this unfortunate plague on the comic industry. crossover events are the absolute worst, and I'm saying this as somebody who adores crossovers (in concept more than execution usually). they SHOULD be my favorite, but unfortunately they p much always completely suck

they're essentially a ploy to get you to read the other ongoing titles, but they usually only serve to bog down whatever story you're reading to the point where you don't even wanna read that one anymore, let alone read all the other ongoings. at least, that’s been my experience

it doesn't help that reading orders tend to be hard to find/keep track of, and that you need to go read the other series to know what's going on. I just hate it, like, I came here to read THIS series, I don't want a bunch of other series showing up too - even if I was reading two series, I wouldn't want them crossed over, because they're separate stories! augh!

I'm totally losing my focus here but my point is...crossover events suck, and mtmte unfortunately is involved in one. I have not read dark cybertron, and I'm not about to. I've heard nothing but bad things so I have no desire to inflict that upon myself

soooo ill be reading through the tfwiki articles for those issues to give myself a better understanding of what went on - which is more than I've ever done in the past - and maybe ill even make a single post summarizing my thoughts on what I read in the wiki, lmao

but yea ill be skipping to the mtmte s2 stuff next

phew ok I'm super tired, my vision keeps blurring out and stuff lmao. its time for bed, I probably have more thoughts but ill save them for later. for now...peace out!

#lj rereads mtmte

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maddiesup · 4 years

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Tag game!

I was tagged by @ohbabycupcakes thank u💖

RULES: Name 10 favorite characters from 10 different things then tag 10 people + leave comments on all of them

This is gonna be hard, where do I even start?

1) Keith (Voltron: Legendary Defender)

Okay I'm- trying not to laugh too hard because oh boy, this show was a complete mess. BUT Keith still stays as one of my favorite characters ever just because no matter how badly I was hurt by vld he'll always be precious to me 💖 He's hotheaded, cool and a lone wolf, but needs affection more than anyone else on the team. He's easy for me to relate to as I am more likely to push someone away than to keep them close just to avoid being hurt as well. His development is amazing tho and I love love him so much 😭 also it might be just that I have a soft spot for emo characters lmao

2) Todoroki Shoto (Boku no Hero Academia)

This just reinforces my statement earlier since Todoroki is pretty emo too :') But in a different way than Keith. If you are a part of bnha fandom you know he's generally a little bit overrated, but I couldn't help falling in love with him at first sight anyway lol His backstory is tragic but he keeps pursuing his dream and damn is he good at it. Also the combo of fire and ice is aesthetic goals. However, what I admire the most about Shoto is probably his loyalty to his friends, his will to fight and sometimes his goofy attitude (even if he probably isn't aware that he's being goofy lol) In conclusion: I love him, let's move on.

3) Uenoyama Ritsuka (Given)

Can I just stop to say how much I love given for a moment? Like I've never seen a bl anime/manga that would portray gay characters so respectfully 😭❤️ Ue is basically me gay panicking, I feel the boy so much :') OH also what's up with gays & guitars bc first given, then why r u and now also 2gether :') (I might be falling in love with this trope help) okay so: Ue is panicking when he starts liking Mafuyu but he handles it so well in a way? He doesn't deny his crush even if he is slow to notice it lol He's straightforward and sometimes a little bit rough around the edges, but even if he's supposed to be "the cool guy" we see him in the most hilarious settings and that just makes me love him all the more 💖 he respects Mafuyu and his boundaries and I want more of that in bl anime please

4) Eiji & Ash (Banana Fish)

Uhhhh this anime,,, I CANNOT choose between Ash and Eiji, I'm gonna forever see them as a pair and that's simply it. Ash is another emo one I would like to say that but he's actually not. He's backstory is heartbreaking and the life he has to live is dangerous and scary. He gets used to this reality where he has no one to rely on and no one to trust but then Eiji appears tearing his walls down and making him finally be able to show his soft and sensitive side to someone. Eiji is like a salve for his wounds and yes, I'm still emotional about it bc their relationship is one of the best developped I've ever seen. Their bond is so strong it's beautiful, they would literally die for each other. It's so apparent that they love each other and care for each other so much (don't mind me crying in the corner)

5) Percy Jackson (Percy Jackson & the Olympians)

PJ technically got me into fantasy/sci-fi in elementary school and it stays at the top of my favorite book series list ever (big props to Uncle Rick 👏) The whole series is funny and I would say pretty light-hearted even tho you know,,, Percy saves the world several times, lol, usual demigod things™. He's lovable. Son of Poseidon so he has seaweeds instead of a brain (or so you thought, he is brilliant at strategic planning and has a charisma to be a great leader), has a very good sense of humor, is loyal and would risk everything for his friends. Also he loves his girlfriend very much and I was crying while reading the House of Hades but no one needed to know that oh well. I'm also gonna mention Nico de Angelo here, since he fell in love with Percy (didn't we all tho) and was the first gay character I saw portrayed in the book and oh do I love him 😭💖

6) 707 (Mystic Messenger)

Was I losing sleep over this game? I was. Do I regret anything? Absolutely not. I think my choices are pretty boring tho, since Seven is literally everyone's favorite but oh boy there's a reason for that. Apart from being a talented hacker who knows too much (and I think is cautious of us the most at the start) he has a lovely happy-go-lucky personality composed of all the lame jokes, questions "have you eaten already" and anxiety (another emo one). He's that type of a character who will always try to make you laugh but you never know what's going on inside his head. He's mysterious and we don't get to know him well till his route so pretty much till the end of the game lol. Also he loves his brother, phd pepper, honey buddha chips and Elizabeth 3rd the most in this entire world and I love him for that

7) Evan Hansen (Dear Evan Hansen)

ANOTHER EMO ONE okay but hear me out Evan has social anxiety and its portrayal is almost too real for me. He makes a big oopsie which at the start seems like a little innocent lie but then snowballs to enormous sizes. He gains everything in this bargain, a best (dead) friend, a caring mother, a father, a girlfriend even - and then everything falls apart since it all is built on one fat lie. He makes a lot of mistakes and then some more but you get it and you feel for him, and you cry with him and you're happy for him. And when all of this is over you're glad that he's still there trying his best, taking it one day at a time. And sidenote: Ben Platt's voice is angelic and I love him as Evan 💖💖💖

8) Isak (SKAM)

Another gay panicking one. I'm starting to realize there's a set of traits that I particularly like in fictional characters lol But ye, when I was watching skam ofc it was the third season which gripped me the most and kept me on the edge, bc yet again Isak taking an "are you gay" test was way too real for me. He makes a lot of mistakes along the way of figuring out his sexuality and sometimes stuff with Evan becomes really messy (for both of them) but he stays with him nevertheless ❤️ Skam is literally so good in its portrayal of the characters :') Anyways: alt er love 💖

9) Viktor & Yuuri (Yuri on Ice)

Em, another one that I absolutely can't break up to just one bc how could I? Yuri on ice got me into skating ❤️ I went to an ice rink for the first time bc of this anime and I almost died but now look at me actually finishing my first three months of ice skating training and watching real life figure skating competitions :') Little did I know then. But they're not only my favourites bc of that, I genuinely love the development of their relationship from fan - idol through skater - couch to lovers and history makers in the end. I love how Yuuri is a ball of insecurities and how Viktor manages to reassure him. I love how Viktor fell in love with drunk Yuuri clinging to him. I love how at first Yuuri wasn't able to get too close to Viktor without getting flustered and it changes so drastically to them basically always holding onto each other. I love how Viktor was stuck with no inspiration but then Yuuri came and turned his world upside down. I love how they support and respect each other. I could probably go on into eternity like that and Yuri on ice isn't even the best anime I've ever seen but it's certainly my favourite one ❤️

10) Tutor (WHY R U)

I can't believe I'm so obsessed with thai dramas rn and I'm only gonna include Tor on this list smh He's mental attitude inspires me. He's able to hold so much and appears totally unfazed even if he's barely holding on inside. He's hardworking and doesn't want others to pity him since he can manage it all just fine. He has a kind heart, he's a wonderful friend (especially to Hwa, he always listens to her, gives her pieces of advise, supports her and tries to cheer her up). He never forgets to say thank you when he genuinely feels grateful. But as we've seen he also is passionate and when he loves he LOVES. Also he's the biggest tease to Fighter and I love him for that :') I am so satisfied just by seeing him happy, please do not change that whyru gods 🙏

As it appears I'm done .-. I have no idea what have just happened and if my rambling even makes sense but not that I care at this point. If you read this far, please drink some water now, that was a lot of reading to go through ❤️

Tagging: @wir-ro, @saecookie and any other 8 people who might want to ksks (im too tired to tag lmao)

Don't be like me and go to bed at reasonable hours despite this whole quarantine thing .-. thank again Doreen for tagging since it was really fun 🥺❤️

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lucadina · 5 years

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Enigma Girl (2)

Rating: T

Pairing: Eren x Annie

You can read the first part here!

Supper is a predictable occurrence. And kind of gross, sometimes.

The food isn't normally good, nor is it bad. Tonight, however, the main dish may resemble a rendition of the usual potato stew, but might as well be pig slop. That's what happens when the instructors think it's a good idea to assign Connie and Sasha to the same kitchen duty schedule. Eren raises his spoon to his nose, takes a whiff of the greyish-red pudding thing he's scooped up, and tries not to retch. He sets the spoon back down.

'This is disgusting,' Mikasa says bluntly.

Too chicken to agree, Armin opts instead to placate the situation, 'Haha... Well, we've got to eat, since it's another rough day tomorrow.'

Eren remains silent. He's thinking about Annie. Specifically, he's mulling over their encounter earlier in the day, at the forest during hand-to-hand combat training.

Why did he follow her? Was it really an attempt at friendship? No, he's not that pure. Truthfully, he doesn't really know why he’s relentlessly chasing after her. It’s his choice and yet, without so much as an utterance of a word from her, he feels spellbound, like she had beckoned him to year for her - like a fish swimming towards a lure. Not that he regrets it. When she was on top of him, her lips upon his wrist, teeth merely a breath away from his skin; he thinks that moment is a fond memory, one he replays over and over in his head. Weird, considering how Annie is singularly the most terrifying woman he's ever met.

And he's seen some odd ladies crawling the streets at night, none of which have ever struck him as sexy.

Wait. Stop. Not that Annie's—

Going red in the face, Eren chokes on a cry. Mikasa is quick to pat his back and ask what's wrong, but he only brushes her off and hangs his head in shame.

Reiner, who's decided to invite himself and Bertholdt to join Eren's group for dinner and is seated across the table from said suicidal blockhead, has a burning question at the back of his mind. He just doesn't know how to bring it up. Really, a more appropriate setting to do so would be in a few hours at the boys' barracks. But Reiner is a nosy little weasel in bear's clothing who revels in drama (particularly when it relates to a that blonde bitch) and he can't take the suspense any longer.

'Eren, is something going on between you and Annie?'

Every single pair of eyes in the room fly to Reiner.

Even Annie's, if only momentarily.

'What?!' Eren doesn't mean to come across so incredulously, as though the possibility of him harbouring romantic feelings for said girl is preposterous, because he actually might like her but wow— he's never been into girls except the imaginary one with a killer bod that lives in his head and hold on; this is a bold question, even for the outspoken Reiner.

'R-Reiner, please...' Bertholdt clears his throat, throwing a quick glance at the woman they're presently chatting about. Annie’ who's seated three tables over, is unfazed. She simply stares disinterestedly at her untouched meal, 'I don't think Eren wants to talk about that. Let's just enjoy our dinner...'

'Oh, come on. It's just a question.'

'You are the only person she pairs with during combat training.' Armin wonders aloud before backpedaling because Mikasa's glare is that terrifying, 'But of course, it's not practical to get involved romantically with someone, considering we're here to become soldiers.'

Eren frowns, 'Soldiers can have wives. I'd like one eventually.'

'You'd like to wife up Annie?' Reiner wiggles his eyebrows.

'Well, I think Eren's uncomfortable, so we should really move on!' Bertholdt clucks, slapping a palm on Reiner's back with enough force to squash a small animal. Against Reiner's build, it barely registers as a friendly handshake, 'Right?!'

'I'm not uncomfortable,' he bluffs, 'Besides,' a pause to swallow a spoonful of his shit-stew even though it makes him want to gag (he's trying to make a point that he's committed to what he's about to say), 'You guys are seriously making a big deal out of nothing. Annie and I just spar sometimes.'

'Oh, come on,' Reiner snorts, 'I wouldn't blame ya, Eren. I know she's a soulless prune, but she has a nice-'

Mikasa interjects, 'Eren still hasn't eaten. 'You're distracting him.'

It's too late. Eren's offended, for a few reasons. Interestingly enough, that last, unfinished remark regarding Annie's derriere sours him. Annie probably heard that. Did she expect him to defend her modesty? No— she'd probably kick him between his legs and mutter something like I don't need a man to defend me, especially not a boy like you, Yeager! It'll just piss them both off if he says anything.

So much for convincing her that he's interested in who she is as a person, as a human, and not just as a mentor. He can't keep on pretending like he isn't hurt by her, especially after what she pulled in the woods today.

'I don't want to talk about this anymore,' Eren's eyes darken as he gets to his feet, then walks out of the hall.

Mikasa follows him out. So does Armin.

Bertholdt scolds Reiner for his insensitivity.

Everyone else resumes their supper.

Minus Annie, who seethes in silence.

Soulless prune?

Soulless prune?!

Reiner's never been her favourite person, but he's officially on her list. That list. A list that has her preoccupied with thoughts of making Reiner disappear for the next hour of dinner. Before she thinks herself up into actually applying her imagination to reality, Mina interrupts: 'Hey...' she tries to whisper, but she's too loud anyway, 'What's up with you and Yeager?'

Annie shrugs. She bites into her bread, hoping that no one else will start a conversation with her if she's got food in her mouth.

Her plan doesn't work.

Stupid teenage girls; they're unrelenting, and it isn't just Mina anymore either. Now Hannah and Moira and Laura (Annie's guessing their names, they've never spoken to her prior to now) have started shooting questions her way despite not getting a single answer. Perhaps they assume that she'll cave in to their persistence at some point.

'Do you two hang out outside of training?'

'Who made the first move?'

'Do you like him?'

'I'm eating,' Annie snaps— that last question had cut her somewhere deep.

The girls go quiet. Still, they've won: Bingo! Mina shoots Hannah a playful smirk. There's a silent understanding; can't wait to giggle about this later!

The rest of the mess hall reverts back to its usual mild chatter. Jean's bitching about Eren somewhere to the far right, by the door. Marco's trying to calm him down. On the table over, Reiner's giving a speech about how romance is fun, but should be approached with caution since the life they all lead is that of a soldier's.

'Dangerous and unpredictable,' Reiner beams loudly, 'So we should make smart choices. You know— ones we won't regret later.'

Annie scoffs to herself. She knows that he's stupidly aimed that comment at her, which only serves to amplify the murderous intent she already feels towards him. But she'll play it cool, for now. No point in blowing a gasket. She tries to finish the rest of her bread, but only gets to half of it before she drops it onto her cold stew.

The bells chime, signalling the end of the hour.

Annie doesn't immediately get up. She's tired.

Reiner and Bertholdt pass her. The latter's always concerned about her, and this time is no exception, 'You didn't eat much,' he observes meekly. He looks like he wants to say something else, but is intercepted by his fellow warrior.

'It's useless,' Reiner shoots Annie a dark look, 'She never did learn not to play with her food.'

.......................................................................................

Eren doesn't spar with Annie for a month.

Four weeks.

Thirty-one days.

Whatever; she's anxious about it by the time the cold weather rolls in. It's snowing outside, and will probably continue to for the rest of the season. Apparently, in this side of the world, hotter summers bleed into biting winters. Consequently, hand-to-hand combat training is suspended until further notice. The instructors don't want any of the cadets dying on them, after all. Not when the militia is in desperate need of bodies.

Of course, this all means that Annie has absolutely no excuse to interact with Eren.

It's not like he approaches her anymore, not after that fiasco in the forest.

She expected him to put distance. Pushing people away is instinctual for her. But it was even easier to commit to dismissing Eren because his passion frightens her. He's special; so human, but in a way that is foreign to her. Unlike herself, who bends weakly to the will of unknown forces, Eren charges straight into the fray without a second thought. He's defiant, beautifully so, like a single, bright flame flickering a brilliant orange amidst the ice.

Maybe Annie's a little jealous of him.

Maybe she misses him.

Maybe.

'Hey,' she greets him curtly once as they pass each other before roll call.

Eren offers a small, hollow smile. Beyond that, he doesn't say anything and speeds past her.

Annie's surprised by how much his indifference hurts her.

.......................................................................................

There's something that hurts a little more, and Annie deems herself selfish for allowing herself to be stung in the first place.

Eren's a happy person. Despite his history, he's happy.

She observes this in the sparks that go off in his eyes before the instructors introduce a new training course or when he succeeds in what he's previously failed at. He's equally energetic when he's smashing his fist onto Jean's ribs, only to get beaten up right back and whisked away by Mikasa a minute later. That older sister figure of his, together with Armin, scold and console Eren in that order after each of his episodes. Then, the very next day, Eren's got another goofy grin on his face and is ready to fight another day.

He's seen the Titans. Yet, he braves this danger. He dedicates his life, even if it's insignificant relative to the rest of the militia.

He has an unwavering sense of purpose, and because of this, he can be happy.

He knows who he is.

She does not.

'Stare at him any longer and you might as well be eating him instead of your dinner, Leonhart.' Ymir mutters under her breath.

Annie blinks, snapping out of her stupor. She didn't even realise that her gaze has been glued to Eren until now. Aware that a blush blooms across her cheeks, she directs her attention to her untouched bean soup. Is it bean? It's green, with yellow blotches at the sides where the oil separates. Disgusting. She can't do this. But she has to, or she'll be forced to endure another grilling from the girls.

'If you're so into him, why not just go for it?' Ymir continues, nudging her seat-mate with an elbow. Annie's at least thankful that the taller woman is trying to keep her inquiries discreet. The others haven't caught onto their topic. Not even Krista, who's chatting away to the rest of the table about whatever because it doesn't really matter and they all just want an excuse to admire her. 'Leonhart,' Ymir presses while the others are distracted, 'What's stopping you?'

Annie swirls her soup with a spoon, 'I don't know what you're talking about.'

'I think he likes you.'

'Well, he shouldn't.'

.......................................................................................

This afternoon, Annie's assigned to do meal prep.

She actually likes to do the cooking because she's a) usually paired with someone too scared to bother her with conversation, and b) it's quiet in the kitchen, away from the hooligans letting loose after a rough day of training. Actually, she seems to have an extra stroke of luck today considering that she's been working for half an hour and yet, no one's joined her. Perhaps she's been tasked to do this all alone, which isn't so bad. She can get it done.

Winter is dogged. Annie doesn't recall experiencing anything quite like it. It's as if the earth itself is rebelling, screaming something like wake up, you fools! There are traitors amongst you!

Annie considers herself.

She's not a good person, but she'd like to believe that she's still a person.

'Hey.'

Annie's heart skips a beat. She recognises that voice, and the familiarity sets off a thrill in her gut that's uncharacteristic of her. Too flustered to even think to put the potato she's been working on down onto the table, she turns on her heel. Potato in her hand and all.

To Eren, it's a strange sight. This strong girl who's given him a hundred bruises and two broken ribs looks harmless in an apron. Domesticated, even. It's not just the fact that she's cooking or that she's dressed for the part; her crystalline-blue eyes are wide, frightened and sparkling with anticipation, like she's seen a friendly ghost. Except they're not friends, so she has no business wearing that expression on her face.

'Sorry I'm late,' he grumbles and reaches for another apron hanging on the hook of the door. He's clearly avoiding her. His back faces her, and his eyes focus on the furthest thing from her body: the empty pot where the stew of the night is supposed to boil in. He busies himself with it. Takes it to the sink, starts scrubbing at the metal. Anything to keep from having to walk over to her.

Disappointed, Annie resumes her potato peeling. Well, more like hacking. She's lopping off the skin in jagged, reckless strokes of a knife. She's bothered by the wordless grudge of a stupid teenage boy who can't lower his fists. What’s worse is she can't even control this feeling she has; of guilt and desire, of a need so tempting that she feels it in her chest now despite having her interest rebuffed by Eren Yeager of all people.

Fifteen minutes pass. Annie knows because she's counting the seconds in her head. She has to, or she won't be able to keep herself calm enough to stop herself from kicking her companion to the ground.

She supposes it won't matter because it'll all be recut into chunks for the stew soon anyway.

Wrong.

Keith Shadis enters, whipping the door open with so much force that the knob hits a wall. His attention immediately flies to Eren, who's started filling the pot with water. As much as Shadis is looking forward to this particular subordinate's next ass-kicking, he can't very well punish without crime, can he? This shred of dignity in the instructor's heart saves Eren, who gulps a hard lump at his throat because he absolutely cannot afford to screw up in front of this guy.

Annie is another story.

'Leonhart, you brainless roach!' Shadis bellows, eyeballs threatening to bulge out of his sockets as he stares pointedly at the naked potato in her hands, 'What the hell is that?!'

She stiffens.

Shit.

She doesn't know what to do, so does nothing.

'Leonhart! You're supposed to skin the potatoes, not maul them! What the hell is this-' Shadis unceremoniously reaches into the wastebin next to her. He grasps the skins she's discarded, brings it up to her face, 'You've taken off the actual meat of it too!'

It's true. She didn't do it properly because she was pissed at Eren and needed to take it out on something.

Annie inhales sharply - she fucked up, can't get out of this one.

'Do you think we can afford to waste food around here, cadet? Do you?!'

'No, Sir.'

'Then do it right! Or I'll have you skip out on kitchen duty altogether and have you scrubbing toilets instead!'

Miraculously, he does not headbutt her. He doesn't so much as touch her, really. Just marches back out as quickly as he'd come, a dozen deep lines expressing his vexation. Although that has less to do with Annie, and more to do with the frustration he feels that he can't psychologically castrate Eren today.

The door slams shut. Annie stares at it, as though she doesn't know how to proceed after what just transpired. It's clear to Eren, who's spent over a decade familiarising himself with Mikasa's cryptic social processing, that Annie is affected by the verbal beating she's received. He can't imagine that she'd take too kindly to being called brainless, let alone a roach, no matter how cooly she tries to play it off.

Sighing, he drops his pot and makes his way over to her. She doesn't react until he takes the knife away from her, to which she flinches.

'Look,' he whispers as he slowly reaches over her side for another potato, careful not to impose on her space with his voice or body, 'You're supposed to do it like this,' he angles the potato diagonally with one hand, presses the thumb of his other onto the straight edge of the knife so that it picks up just a the tiniest bit of the brown skin, which then easily lifts. Thereafter, he secures it with the tip of the knife and gracefully starts to peel.

Annie tilts her head. 'Ah... You're surprisingly good at that.'

'I've had a lot of practice. My mom used to make me help her out in the kitchen sometimes.'

'I see.'

This was meant to only be a demo, but she doesn't make an effort to mirror him. Eren's nostrils flare. Does she expect him to do her work for her? 'Hey,' he presses, miffed, 'Grab a potato and get to it.'

'But you're so much better suited for this task than I am.'

'Oh, no.'

His temperature is rising fast - a natural occurrence around the infuriating Annie. He takes her by the wrist, pulls her to him, back-to-chest, and forcibly takes her hands in his. It's uncharacteristic how tame she is when he manipulates her arms so that they're intertwined with his, his palms nestling on the top of her hands to guide her to a knife and the potato he was working on.

'Alright, Annie— do it like I showed you.'

Do it precisely how I've taught you! That's my daughter!

Annie goes pale (not that Eren can see), and she's once more frozen in place. Green flashes dangerously until he feels her form tremble slightly. She feels fragile, soft, like something human but not quite as durable. It catches him off guard, and he nearly lets her go. He wonders if he frightens her; probably not, although the very thought that he's pushed her into dark corner breaks the chains he's manufactured around his curious attachment to her. Suddenly, he forgets why he's been so upset with her.

He chooses to believe that she's just shaken up from Shadis.

He doesn't fully buy into his own half-assed hypothesis.

Most likely, she won't tell him what's going on.

That's alright. He'll kick it with her anyway.

'Fine, forget the potato,' he whispers into her ear in as soothing a voice as he can muster. His heart is hammering against his chest; she's unpredictable and that's scary, 'Just... I'm here, OK?'

He releases her hands, so the objects she's loosely held onto fall on the table. She makes no move to pick them up, but neither does she swat his arms away. The close proximity of their bodies births a heat that burns him, and he realises the implication of the lack of distance between them.

Awkwardly, he moves to the side so he can pretend to busy himself with a potato and knife. He steals a glance at her; she’s unreadable as always.

'I'm angry with you,' she admits, breaking the silence. She tucks a long bang behind her ear. He observes her fingers; they're trembling. His attention flies back to the potato; it’s less intimidating than the uncharacteristic fragility she displays right now.

Eren swallows, 'Why's that?'

'You've been ignoring me.'

'Thought that's what you wanted, Annie.'

'No,' she smiles at him, knowing fully well that he cannot see.

#ereannie #ereani #eren x annie #eren jaeger #annie leonhardt #my stuff #enigma girl

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peterstanslizzie · 5 years

Text

Re-watching Lizzie Mcguire: Episode 1.13 (Come Fly With Me)

Lizzie and Miranda are decked out in sixties-inspired fashion

- The episode opens to a 1960′s Rat Pack song playing in the background, courtesy of Gordo. He is starting to get into the whole old-school Las Vegas ‘lounge-style’ culture and this doesn’t seem to really bother his friends because Gordo has always been the kind of person to stay away from current trends.

- For example, as Lizzie mentioned, when everybody in school was into rollerblading, he opted to unicycle instead. It sounds to me like he is doing all of this for the sake of being different. I think we should just be who we want to be and do the things we like regardless of it being on trend or not.

- Gordo asks Lizzie if she could pick up a Rat Pack music CD for him after school because he has an appointment with his podiatrist. She reluctantly agrees and before leaving, she advises him to take it easy on the whole Rat Pack thing.

Getting into Rat Pack

Vince, a one-time character I presume

- After collecting the CD on Gordo’s behalf, a kid named Vince on the school bus snatches it from Lizzie’s hand and makes fun of her and Miranda for absolutely no reason. If you’re going to make fun of someone, you might as well do it right but Vince is just atrocious at it lol.

- Out of nowhere, Ethan Craft comes to the rescue and intimidates Vince to give the CD back to Lizzie. Because of that, Lizzie crushes on Ethan once again. I thought two episodes ago in Episode 1.11, Ethan was going to leave Miranda during their marriage project presentation because he was being manipulated by Kate. And now she still likes him? I guess they can’t fault Ethan for being an airhead.

Animated Lizzie looks really cute in this sort of Mad Men inspired outfit

- Ethan then starts listening to the Rat Pack CD on his music player (or boom box?) and he actually really enjoys it. Lizzie and Miranda, obviously smitten by Ethan’s liking to Gordo’s CD pretends to act like they actually listen to this style of music and they agree to meet up later to hook Ethan up with more Rat Pack music.

- At school, Lizzie and Miranda start talking to Gordo in a similar way to how he was talking to them at the beginning of this episode. He feels flattered by them wanting to know more about his interests in Rat Pack and is willing to teach them more about the culture. We also get a funny bit where Miranda points out to Gordo that he blinks his eyes a lot.

The more you try to not think about blinking, the more you actually blink your eyes. Facts.

Meet Matt’s Best Friend, Lanny

*Please note my review of Matt’s plot-line this episode is compiled into this section.

I’m a little scared of Lanny and so are Sam and Jo

- We cut to the backyard of the Mcguire home where Matt and his silent friend, Lanny are playing netball. They are trying to set the record for the longest netball rally but they are struggling to even be close to beating the current record. So is this all happening when Lizzie’s in school? Shouldn’t Matt and Lanny be in school as well? I shouldn’t think too much about this lol.

- Lanny telepathically lets Matt know they should try to attempt another world record and Matt starts consulting the World Records book to see what they can do. We then get a montage of them attempting to set a number of different world records and of course, they fail miserably. I don’t even want to get into the specifics of what they were doing in this montage but at least ‘Survivor’ by Destiny’s Child was playing in the background.

- In the second half of the episode, Matt is about to give up on trying to set his own world record after 38 attempts. Jo, brilliant as always, comes up with an idea to trick Matt and Lanny into believing they set their own record for ‘Most Consecutive Failed Attempts’. Matt is very excited about this and they go out to celebrate by getting some ice cream.

Lanny likes Pumpkin flavored ice cream by the way

Stop Trying to Make Rat Pack Happen!

How can you not fall for that smile?

- At the school cafeteria, Gordo notices that some people are starting to dress similarly to him and he hopes that Lizzie and Miranda doesn’t turn his interests in 1960′s Rat Pack into another fad at school. Ethan then pops up next to them and he compliments Gordo’s shirt. Lizzie uses this opportunity to invite him to shop with them at this store called ‘Anteater’ (weird name for a store but okay) so that he can get the same type of clothes Gordo’s wearing. Gordo isn’t thrilled about all of this.

- Presumably a day later, it seems like the Rat Pack trend had caught the eye of the entire school because everybody is dressed like they are in the sixties. Even Kate Sanders is embracing this trend and she goes up to Lizzie and Miranda and compliments them both for making Gordo’s interest in ‘lounge-style’ culture a thing at school.

How tall is Kate? She is so much taller than Lizzie, Gordo and Miranda.

- She’s being awfully nice to them and that’s because she needs their help to organize this month’s dance and make it Rat Pack themed. Lizzie and Miranda are very excited about the prospect of being able to help plan their school dance and they both agree to help Kate out.

- As Kate leaves, Lizzie asks Gordo if they could use his Las Vegas posters as decorations but he doesn’t want to help them because he just doesn’t like the fact that his Rat Pack interests are becoming popular in school. I mean, I do get where Gordo is coming from; I think nobody would actually really like Rat Pack music unless it’s considered trendy. But he needs to not take everything so seriously. Trends do come and go.

Gordo is having a mini Crisis

Lizzie’s expressions are gold here when Gordo is talking to her about his World War II plane model given to him by his aunt.

- At Gordo’s house (I think this is the first time Lizzie is shown to be in his house), Lizzie mentions to Gordo how everyone at school is excited about the upcoming Rat Pack themed dance. Gordo reveals to her his interest in Rat Pack is gone and he is now into WW2 style airplanes.

- He also lets her know that he doesn’t like it that everybody is now into Rat Pack and that Kate Sanders has turned this whole thing into a “mindless fad” because she doesn’t know the difference between a ‘ding dong’ and a ‘Ring-A-Ding-Ding’. Lizzie feels bad about ruining his hobby. Don’t feel bad Lizzie; Gordo just needs to wait it out.

Planning the ‘Lounging Around’ School Dance

- Kate is holding a meeting with her fellow school dance committee members to plan out Friday’s dance. She entrusts Lizzie to get a list of songs to be played by the DJ and she entrusts Miranda to prepare a list of criteria for the judges to look out for when assessing outfits for the costume contest. And she wants all of this by the next day.

- Lizzie and Miranda panic and are desperate to ask Gordo for help. Can’t they consult the school computers and library or something? Didn’t they also exist back in 2001 as well?

I’m sure the wardrobe department had a fun time dressing the girls up back then

- They find Gordo playing with his WW2 plane outside and ask him for help but he just isn’t willing to help them this time around because as we all know, he doesn’t like how Lizzie and Miranda played a part in making his Rat Pack hobby a major fad.

- I touched on this earlier; Gordo has a point in saying that everyone in school now likes Rat Pack only because it is the biggest thing currently. But Lizzie and Miranda also made a good point in saying people are allowed to like whatever they want, regardless of how they came to know about Rat Pack and Frank Sinatra and the sort.

Time for the School Dance

“Let’s like dance, Ethan”. Kate is just too funny

- We are then taken to their school dance and I have to say, Kate and company did a really good job organising the event. The venue is well decorated and everybody looks amazing in their sixties-inspired outfits. However, Lizzie and Miranda doesn’t seem to be enjoying themselves because Gordo isn’t there with them.

Best friends gotta stick together

- Luckily for them, Gordo pops up and makes a grand entry into the auditorium, complete with an amazing suit and a suave attitude to match. Gordo admits to them that he shouldn’t force himself to do things just to be different and Lizzie tells him they’re lucky to have someone like Gordo who doesn’t care about what people think about his hobbies.

- In the end, everything is resolved and the episode ends with a cute trio dance:

That’s all folks

Overall Thoughts

- What I got most out of watching this episode is the idea of seasonal trends and how easy it is for people to catch onto them just because everyone else is. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing, as long as you actually like those trends. And being different for the sake of being different is something we shouldn’t really hold on to either.

- Gordo definitely shone in this episode. I really felt his frustration towards everyone who suddenly jumped on his hobby bandwagon and made it a ‘mindless fad’ as he puts it. Good job on the actor’s (Adam Lamberg) part. Miranda and Lizzie also have very identical plot-lines this episode, although Lizzie did more in this episode than Miranda. I think it’s hard for the character of Miranda to really shine in an episode unless she’s one of the main focuses, you know? But that’s just me.

- After having an impressive plot-line last episode, Matt’s plot-line with his parents this time around has gone back to being weightless and goofy. At least we get to see Lanny in person for the first time.

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thesinglesjukebox · 4 years

Video

youtube

SHURA - THE STAGE

[6.55]

All the Amnesty's a stage...

Iain Mew: How many people have I got to know online and then met in person? I must be approaching a hundred, but even now each meeting comes with a tension around the transfer to sharing real space with someone both familiar and not. How much stronger that tension was when I met someone after we had already declared our feelings for each other, the risk and reward so much greater. That's the feeling of "The Stage," an intoxicating dance all ready to go but with an underlying hesitancy and weirdness, its skips and jumps marking the surreality of the situation. It's a view of what it's like doing a normal thing like going to a show, but with someone who you fell for via their words alone who is now really there and real and taking up real space next to you, with the potential first kiss tension of every brush of contact on top of that. I've never heard the experience captured so perfectly as in the opening lines "Are we gonna kiss? Exciting/Promised you my lips in writing" and the way Shura contrasts the uncertainty to the formality and permanency of the written word. We signed a contract in the reality we had and moved to another one, and it meant everything and nothing until affirmed there. "The Stage" gets to that giddy affirmation as its tension resolves. Filled with intensity and magic, Shura declares as "done with music" and departs with her girlfriend stage right for more kissing. They leave us as the ones dancing, the feeling generously opened outwards in its fizzing synth coda. [10]

Leah Isobel: Ever the gentleman, Shura sees her paramour from across the room and makes her move -- would she like to Uber back home and, perhaps, kiss? The gentle synth rain swells as the pair make their escape. The faked fade-out as the two dance alone at home is probably the best part, a coy acknowledgment that there's more happening when the camera stops rolling; it's perhaps a little too subtle for my taste, but I can't begrudge them their privacy. After all, a real gentleman doesn't kiss and tell. [6]

Kylo Nocom: Like Usher and Carly before her, Shura believes in kissing as both a gateway to fucking and a pleasure all in itself. Her swooning, accompanied by Elton John keys and reminders of the time Kevin Parker wanted to work with Kylie Minogue, makes love into something infinitely expansive and heavenly. In the context of death's presence throughout Forevher, her giddiness reads as a brilliant moment of defiance, the temporariness and almost-doomed nature of queer romance established and yet pushed aside quickly in favor of the undeniable fun of just kissing for the evening. I'd imagine she'd agree with, of all people, Sufjan Stevens: "Kissing is madness! But it's absolute paradise, if you can find a good kisser." Only Shura has the grace to make it sound like it could be paradise forever. [9]

Ryo Miyauchi: Shura's come-ons have a slight performative gesture to them, like she nicked them straight from a pop song and is trying it on for size. It echoes her production style which, too, borrows heavily from '80s pop and funk. Her entire thing ends up having a communicating-via-mixtape feel, telegraphing her emotions and intentions with the help of another voice. No matter how direct she gets, that's not lost in "The Stage," and its curated pop construct makes the scene and dialog a bit too lyrically perfect to be true. That said, all the power to Shura if this is how she wants to remember her first date: the encounter feels electric, full of moments that spoken words can easily ruin. [6]

Natasha Genet Avery: "And it's so romantic/and I'm so pathetic" is really the best case scenario for a first date, and Shura's lyrics encapsulate the type of horny, goofy energy that compels you to leave your favorite concert and proclaim that you're "done with music." But "The Stage"''s treble-heavy electro-soul stylings convey no urgency, proving a tad too sanitized for its subject matter. [6]

Wayne Weizhen Zhang: A cutesy portrait of a relationship's do-or-don't moment of intimacy, muddled by Shura's anaemic, drowsy vocal take. [5]

Alfred Soto: She treats "The Stage" like an experiment on her lust, even emphasizing she's "done with music." A statement of fact, alas, as this plodding mid tempo number shows. Maybe she's going for early eighties Olivia Newton-John? In any case, this isn't the Shura of "Tongue Tied." [5]

Thomas Inskeep: Shura can make some quality pop, but this is too understated for too long, and once it blossoms, the payoff isn't enough. [4]

Kayla Beardslee: A distillation of the glee and dizziness of a crush, intermittently dissolving into an instrumental haze that moves from sweet to sexy as the synths rise to meet Shura's voice and the protagonists leave the club. "I promised you my lips / In writing," she sings in the the opening lines: by the time listeners reach the song's exuberant, wordless ending, we can easily imagine Shura fulfilling that promise. [8]

Nortey Dowuona: A thumping bass stab slides over puffy eyed drums with crushed piano jabs with little whispers of synth, washed away with a torrent of acid rain guitar, then back to the loop, a smattering of synths spread all over Shura's soft voice as a washing room of background vocalists slip in her vines, which spread with a spiraling embrace of synths, bass, piano and drums and shimmering synth whisks away Shura and spins in a bicycle motion with little sprinkles of Shura spread as she slowly emerges from the spiral and glides down the vines into a hole of guitar overdubs. [8]

Vikram Joseph: It's hard to say whether it's the shift in style to smooth, jazzy R&B, or whether it's just that she's writing about being blissfully in love rather than anxiety and painful missed connections, but it's hard not to feel like Shura's music has lost something in transition. Despite (or maybe because of) its emotional flux, Nothing's Real felt like a record of possibilities -- I still get butterflies listening to it -- and for the most part forevher is too placid. "BRKLYNLDN" worked because it felt deliciously tingly and uncertain, but "The Stage" -- sonically pleasant though it is, with lush strings, plinky piano and a Christmassy feel -- feels comfortable, and not a little dull. Also, it's a song about seeing goddamn MUNA on a perfect date, and you're "done with music" and want to get out of there? I mean, of course you want to make out, but surely seeing a band you love with someone you're falling in love with is one of the most rapturous experiences you can have on this earth? Can't relate, babe. [5]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

#Shura #pop #music #music review #Amnesty Week

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preserving-ferretbrain · 5 years

Text

Totally Awesome

by Viorica

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

Viorica finds a Potter-related bit of media that actually deserves the hype

Oooh! This is in the Axis of Awesome!~

Parodies are a tricky thing. If you've got too much of a hate-on for the source material, you end up being too bitter; if you love the source material too much, you can't effectively make fun of its flaws; and if you just don't care either way, you get something like this. It's a difficult tightrope to walk, but when you're lucky/talented enough to get it right, you end up with A Very Potter Musical. Written by college-aged fans of the Potter series, it combines the best of the original series with the talent of the actors and writers involved, and ends up eclipsing the source material entirely.

The story takes place in Harry's second year, and encompasses the events of all seven books. Harry and his friends (with Ron's sister Ginny in tow) arrive at Hogwarts to discover that the new teacher Professor Quirrel has R

resurrected the House Cup (which is basically a one-school Triwizard Tournament) as part of Voldemort's plan to capture Harry Potter under a bumbling Dumbledore's very nose. It's hard to describe the rest of the plot without going into spoilery detail (which I'll be doing in the next paragraph anyway . . .) but suffice to say, problems arise, relationships are formed, and Team Potter must go up against Voldemort and his Death Eaters- though ironically, Voldemort's ultimate fate owes more to the "love conquers all" theme which the books neglected and the musical effectively puts into use.

When I said in the first paragraph that the musical is an improvement on the books, I meant it. The plotting is much more streamlined (for one thing, the Trio doesn't spend months sitting in a tent, and actually condemns the seventh book's plot as "stupid") the characters more likeable, and the biggest problems with the book-

tokenism

Dumbledore's lecturing

,and the

delusions of grandeur

are removed in favour of canonical gay characters (the main couple is, in fact, gay, and Voldemort's redemption comes about from his affection for Quirrell- quite a divergence from Rowling's choiceless choices) a Dumbledore whose stupidity and blindness is repeatedly mocked, and a pervading knowledge that this is, in fact, a very silly story. For instance, Malfoy's conviction that there is a wizarding school called Pigfarts located on Mars and presided over by a talking lion turns out to be true; after all, how is it more ridiculous than the main concept of the franchise? The musical also addresses such all-important questions like:

How did Quirrell sleep with Voldemort on the back of his head?

Why did Dumbledore trust Snape, anyway?

What happens when two people who share one stomach get drunk?

In addition to lampshading the flaws and inconsistencies of the original series ("I just put anyone who looks like a good guy into Gryffindor, anyone who looks like a bad guy into Slytherin, and the rest can go wherever they want." "Can anyone tell me what a Portkey is? . . . Well, can anyone tell me what

foreshadowing

is?") the musical can stand on its own as a creative product. The songs are entertaining and catchy - the fan favourite seems to be "Granger Danger", but my own is "Gotta Get Back To Hogwarts:"

We're sick of summer and this waiting around It's like we're sitting in the lost and found Don't take no sorcery For anyone to see how... We gotta get back to hogwarts We gotta get back to school We gotta get back to hogwarts Where everything is magic-cooooool Back to wizards and witches, and magical beasts To goblins and ghosts and to magical feasts It's all that I love, and it's all that I need at HOGWARTS, HOGWARTS I think I'm goin' back!

But of course none of the material would be entertaining without good actors to support it, and the cast rises admirably to the task. The three leads - Darren Criss as Harry, Joey Ritcher as Ron, and Bonnie Gruesen as Hermione - all bring the right balance of likeability and flaws to their roles, but it's the secondary characters who steal the show. I suspect that Joe Moses (Snape) is familiar with the Harry Potter fandom, because his Snape is a perfect parody of the fanon version, right down to his exaggerated purr of a voice. Joe Walker makes a truly hilarious Voldemort, especially given that he has to deliver lines like "Get me some Nasonex, you swine!" with a stright face (though I am surprised that his voice held out through five performances, given the amount of growling that was involved.) with Brian Rosenthal serving as his quieter, gentler (but no less funny) counterpart. Lauren Lopez as Malfoy steals every scene she's in, with her exaggerated accent and habit of rolling around the stage. Even Goyle, who barely has any lines, cracks the audience up every time he opens his mouth. While Britney Coleman, who plays Bellatrix, has caught some flak from YouTube commenters for being "irritating" she didn't really get on my nerves. The worst you can say of her is that she didn't leave any impression at all- and with a cast this good, less-than-perfect performances can easily be buried in their better counterparts.

All in all, the musical is recommended to anyone who has a passing familiarity with the HP canon. Honestly, it's a shame that this show can't make any money, being an unauthorized parody. It's really the only thing connected to Harry Potter that I wholeheartedly enjoy, one that actually earns it's tagline of "Totally awesome"Themes:

J.K. Rowling

Theatre

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Wardog

at 11:03 on 2009-10-14Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, this is, in fact, *totally awesome*.

The hot female Malfoy is making me go wibbly.

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Andy G

at 13:01 on 2009-10-14This is brilliant! I love every scene with Voldemort and Quirrell in particular.

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Wardog

at 13:50 on 2009-10-14"Your plan to infilitrate Hogwarts on the back of my head is going swimmingly, my liege..." BEST LINE EVER!

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Melissa G.

at 23:23 on 2009-10-14Loved it! Thanks for bringing this to my attention.

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Viorica

at 01:54 on 2009-10-15Have you gotten to Voldemort's big tapdance number yet?

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Jamie Johnston

at 21:28 on 2009-10-16Fab. Those kids deserve to go far.

But can someone explain to me the thing with Malfoy falling down and rolling around all the time? Bear in mind all I know about

Potter

comes from three of the films (1, 2, and 4, I think) and anything I've picked up from conversations and

Ferretbrain

articles.

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Viorica

at 22:41 on 2009-10-16Honestly, I'm not really sure. I think it's just the actor being goofy.

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Andy G

at 10:15 on 2009-10-17I saw it as being a bit of a spoof of femme fatales or female villains writhing round the stage in dance shows/musicals, rather than anything based around the books.

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Melissa G.

at 16:54 on 2009-10-17I don't know. I kind of saw that as an exaggeration of how over the top Malfoy can be. It seemed somehow fitting to a caricature of his character.

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http://mmmarcusz.livejournal.com/

at 23:57 on 2009-10-17I think it's meant as a reference to how Malfoy is always described as striking a pose ("lounging", "preening", etc.) and this is just an over-the-top extension of that. Also, was I the only one who found the Draco actress incredibly cute?

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http://tabaquis.livejournal.com/

at 06:49 on 2009-10-19I adore a VHPM, which is great because I too have become completely tired of That Woman and Those Books being touted as any kind of coherent literature.

I do think the guy playing Snape was totally channeling Kevin MacDonald's "Simon" from Kids in the Hall though! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TC4PjXNt2gw

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Wardog

at 11:14 on 2009-10-20

I think it's meant as a reference to how Malfoy is always described as striking a pose ("lounging", "preening", etc.) and this is just an over-the-top extension of that. Also, was I the only one who found the Draco actress incredibly cute?

Yeah, that's what I thought as well.

And, yes, she is amazingly, wibble-inducingly hot. Me likey.

Also I notice the musical has a delightfully arch relationship with the fandom - so I think purring, rolling, lounging Malfoy was a nod to both the books and his typically depicated fandom persona.

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Montavilla

at 01:58 on 2009-10-21So glad to see appreciation for this musical. I just loved it.

It's hard to say what makes Lauren Lopez so perfect as Malfoy, except everything. The ponchy accent, the constant posing, the way she's always trying (and failing) to get Harry's attention. Somehow Draco just *is* a 12-year-old girl.

And I liked Bellatrix. She's somewhat annoying with the screaming, but that is Bellatrix, and I love that they aren't being coy about her and Voldemort having a sexual relationship. It's only one of the ways in which the musical trumps the books.

I crack up everytime I think about her face when Voldemort sits on the desk. You can see that she's still trying to make it work--but she's kind of catching on to what he's really up to.

But *everyone* is so excellent. I showed this to some of mine and we all kept remarking on how perfectly perfect Cedric Diggory is. I love the entrance of Cho Chang and just that look that the Asian actress gives. It's almost her only moment in the whole show and she makes the most of it.

You can tell that the entire cast is having a great time playing their parts--and the audience is loving it as well. And that's what makes a great live performance.

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http://for-diddled.livejournal.com/

at 21:08 on 2010-08-08Just thought you chaps might be interested to know that they've made a sequel, which can be found here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OepW-AG-Ris&feature=PlayList&p=86C718AEE71C9DE9&playnext=1&index=7

#Ferretbrain #Harry Potter #A Very Potter Musical #Viorica #J.K. Rowling #Axis of Awesome

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aion-rsa · 3 years

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25 Hardest PC Games of All-Time

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The most fascinating thing about the history of difficult PC games isn’t necessarily the difficulty of individual titles but rather the diversity of difficult experiences the platform has gifted us throughout the years.

From meme games specifically designed to make you rage quit to underrated platformers and punishing puzzle titles, the history of difficult PC games essentially doubles as a fairly comprehensive look at all the ways developers have creatively punished us for daring to think we were ever good enough to beat their cruelest creations.

What are the most difficult PC games ever made, though? Well, answering that question is only slightly easier than actually playing the games on such a list, so in the interest of honoring the hardest PC games ever, we’re offering an extended look at the games that made you toss your mouse and keyboard in the air and briefly consider the benefits of smashing the family computer. We’re also focusing on games that were initially released exclusively for various PC platforms (or at least games that weren’t simply ported to PC later on) in order to properly pay homage to the truly unique ways our personal computers have tortured us throughout the years.

25. Minesweeper

The first PC game many of us probably played dominated computer classrooms, ate up more free time than many of us will ever care to admit, and ultimately confounded a generation of gamers who desperately tried to see its victory screen.

That’s what’s impressive about Minesweeper. It’s ultimately a pretty challenging puzzle game that becomes borderline absurd at high-difficulty settings, but I’m just amazed that Microsoft was bold enough to make such a confusing, complicated, and difficult game one of the most recognizable early Windows experiences.

24. Dota 2

This is a bit of a tricky entry, largely because I’m hesitant to highlight PC multiplayer games in this discussion about difficult titles. Obviously, it’s pretty hard to win a match against some of the best competitive multiplayer players in the world.

What separates Dota 2, though, is its incredible learning curve. Yes, top-rank Dota play is incredibly difficult, but the barrier to entry in this game is so thick that it’s amazing most new players even stick around to try to learn it.

23. Rainbow Six: Rogue Spear

If you’re only familiar with the Rainbow Six series because of Siege (which, to be fair, is a challenging game in its own right), then let me just warn you now that you’re probably in for a world of hurt if you ever dare to try to play the first few entries in this long-running franchise.

The only word that properly describes Rogue Spear‘s difficulty is “unforgiving.” You have to be nearly perfect in your planning, aim, map, knowledge, and execution of all of those elements if you’re going to have any chance of completing this game’s most difficult missions. Don’t even get me started on those stealth sections…

22. Return of the Obra Dinn

There are quite a few challenging “logic puzzle” games on the PC, but what separates this truly incredible experience from some of its immediate competition is the way that the game’s time manipulation mechanics require you to cross-reference nearly every piece of information that you acquire with every other piece of information you acquire.

Yes, you can make educated guesses in Obra Dinn, but that little piece of freedom just shows you how complex this game’s puzzles really are. Return of the Obra Dinn doesn’t just make you think; it demands a different kind of thought process than you’ll find in any other game or any other kind of storytelling experience.

21. Kerbal Space Program

It’s not hard to enjoy Kerbal Space Program. It is, after all, a fairly goofy game about building spaceships where half the fun comes from watching your plans quite literally blow up in your face. However, have you ever tried actually playing Kerbal Space Program well?

If you have, then you probably already know that Kerbal Space Program is one of the most complicated and mechanically advanced PC games ever made. Building a fully functional rocket in this game’s nightmare world of physics and miniature components is only slightly less difficult than being asked to build a rocket in real life.

20. Hotline Miami

Hotline Miami is widely recognized for its all-time great soundtrack and absurd violence, but don’t let this game’s popularity somehow convince you that it is not one of the most unforgiving and mentally exhausting action games ever made.

While each level in Hotline Miami is essentially a puzzle, few puzzle games also demand perfect aim or the ability to pick up a makeshift weapon at just the right moment in order to salvage your plan of attack. Few gaming experiences match the feeling of getting a Hotline Miami level just right.

19. Dead Cells

Dead Cells is so much fun to play that you might forget that it’s absolutely one of the most challenging action games of the last few years. Of course, that reality will rise up and smack you in the face the moment that you dare to try to beat the game’s later levels.

Even if you “grind” your way to the top of Dead Cells and unlock every weapon, attribute, and skill, you’ll still struggle to topple this game’s most devious challenges. By that point, though, you’ll likely be too committed to seeing it through to realize that you’re actively being beaten down.

18. FTL

FTL certainly wasn’t the first roguelike game, but this crowdfunded title elevated the genre with its incredible sci-fi setting, brilliant structure, and intense strategy-focused combat sequences. It’s also the game that showed millions just how difficult roguelike games could be.

Years later, it’s easy to argue that FTL is still one of the hardest roguelike games out there. You can do everything right in this game (which is certainly no easy feat in and of itself) and still instantly lose the “perfect run” thinks to one of a hundred random little things that can go wrong.

17. SpaceChem

Imagine trying to pass an advanced chemistry test while simultaneously attempting to re-wire the electricity in your home. That’s roughly what it’s like to play SpaceChem: one of the most complicated puzzle games ever conceived.

I’d say learning to play SpaceChem is half the battle, but the thing that is so interesting about this game is that you never really entirely learn how to play it. You just learn to roll with the punches and make the most out of the various challenges this game uses to constantly keep you on your toes.

16. Flywrench

At the risk of relying on too many comparisons, I’ll say that the best way to imagine what it’s like to play Flywrench is to imagine trying to play Super Hexagon and Super Meat Boy at the same time without messing up in either. That’s roughly the Flywrench experience.

What’s amazing about this game is that even those with lightning-fast reflexes aren’t guaranteed to be good at it. Victory in Flywrench comes down to a brutal combination of reflexes, map memorization, quick reads, and the kind of persistence that few games would ever dare demand from their players.

15. S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl

Somewhere between a survival horror game and a simulation shooter lies S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl: one of the most original, terrifying, and yes, brutally difficult PC games ever made.

S.T.A.L.K.E.R.: Shadow of Chernobyl convincingly sells the horrors of its setting by burdening you with the knowledge that you could indeed die at any time. If this game’s atmosphere, story, and tone don’t make you feel depressed, trying to navigate its toughest sections will probably do the trick.

14. Dark Seed

While it’s true that the best reason to play Dark Seed is its incredible horror style (which is actually based on the art of H. R. Giger), the second-best reason to play Dark Seed is the desire to experience as much digital pain as possible.

Dark Seed’s puzzles are hard enough on their own, but this game takes things one step too far by utilizing a time limit system that affords you almost no time to stop and smell the roses. You could argue this game would have been better off overall without that time limit system, but it certainly wouldn’t be as notoriously difficult as it very much is.

13. Devil Daggers

If you’ve never played Devil Daggers, please be sure to find the time to do so. This absolutely incredible FPS experience effectively reimagines classic shooters as a kind of arena action game that places you in the middle of a small circular stage that is quickly swarmed by the most horrifying foes you’ll ever dare to imagine.

Devil Daggers is basically what you’d get if you used mods to turn Quake into a bullet hell shooter. Ther are safe zones in this game, but good luck spotting them in a 3D, first-person setting while you’re actively trying not to die at every single moment.

Games

PC Gaming Innovations That Changed the Way We Play

By Matthew Byrd

Games

25 PC Games That Changed History

By Matthew Byrd

12. Discworld

Even at a time when point-and-click adventure puzzles were designed to be as difficult as possible, Discworld quickly gained a reputation for featuring arguably the most challenging collection of puzzles that genre has ever seen.

Discworld embraces the outlandishness of its source material by tasking you with solving puzzles that quite honestly defy any logic that we mere mortals are used to adhering to. Just when you think you may have possibly found a solution to one part of its devious puzzles, you suddenly realize that you haven’t begun to appreciate the maddening scope of what this game truly expects from you.

11. 1001 Spikes

1001 Spikes isn’t just a throwback to the golden era of “NES hard.” It’s a hall-of-fame worthy collection of all the mechanics, ideas, and venomous design decisions that made those games so difficult (with a few new tricks thrown in).

From bottomless pits to invisible blocks (and yes, a couple of spikes), 1001 Spikes is an angel to some and a demon to others. It really all depends on how fondly you remember the years of your youth that you spent dying to the cruelest 8-bit titles ever made.

10. Commandos: Behind Enemy Lines

In a previous article about a nearly impossible dungeon crawler called The Immortal, I talked about how that game tries to make you walk a very specific path to avoid its various death traps. Well, Commandos utilizes a similar trick with one fascinating twist: you have to blaze your own path to victory.

Commandos is a game of inches. Every move you make has to be carefully considered because each could trigger a mistake down the line that is nearly impossible to recover from. That level of freedom is both incredibly frustrating and the thing that keeps you convinced that you can eventually get it right if you hang in long enough.

9. Gabriel Knight 3

This is another case where I’m not actually sure how much Gabriel Knight 3 deserves this “honor” given that it features some of the most illogical, frustrating, confusing, and often downright unenjoyable puzzle designs in adventure game history.

Having said that, I ultimately see this as the final boss for genre fans. No matter how good you think you are at solving the most confounding adventure game puzzles ever crafted, I’m willing to bet that this game will leave you seriously considering downloading a walkthrough and calling it a day. This game’s “cat puzzle” alone has broken the strongest souls.

8. Darkest Dungeon

Moment to moment, Darkest Dungeon is difficult in all of the ways that you’d expect a roguelike dungeon crawler to be difficult. Tough enemies, minimal resources, incredible RNG swings…the gang is all here.

What separates this title are the mechanics you have to deal with in-between those dungeon dives. Properly managing your always ailing party of heroes often requires you to make difficult strategic decisions that simultaneously punish greed and pretty much demand it if you’re going to have any chance of reaching this game’s nearly impossible final dungeon.

7. I Wanna Be The Guy

I Wanna Be the Guy is both a throwback to the golden age of difficult games and a kind of experiment in how difficult you can make a game without it technically being impossible. It succeeds in both endeavors.

There are many PC games like I Wanna Be The Guy, but this is the title that alerted many of us to the wide world of these indie experiences that are designed to bring you to your breaking point. It’s one of the ultimate examples of how the PC gaming community has been pushing the limits of difficult retro gaming experiences for quite some time now.

6. Dwarf Fortress

Any discussion about Dwarf Fortress‘ difficulty has to eventually address the debate over whether or not you should see this as the kind of game you’re meant to “beat.” For millions of players, Dwarf Fortress is really about the process of figuring out how to do your best in one of the most mechanically complicated games ever.

That brutal learning curve certainly makes Dwarf Fortress worthy of consideration for this particular list, but it’s the “endgame” that ultimately makes this experience so special. Much like Kerbal Space Program, it’s when you try to succeed at Dwarf Fortress that you appreciate how challenging this fascinating blend of role-playing and world-building really is. Dwarf Fortress is arguably the deepest rabbit hole in video game history.

5. Getting Over It With Bennett Foddy

There have been quite a few incredibly difficult “meme” games in the past, but for my money, none have come close to topping this masterpiece.

Getting Over It‘s controls are ultimately the source of its legendarily frustrating gameplay, but the thing that will always define this game is that feeling you get when you realize a single wrong move can reset all the progress you’ve made so far. Few other games in history have combined persistence and mechanical challenges quite as well as this one.

4. X-COM: UFO Defense

There’s no denying that modern XCOM games are incredibly difficult, and there’s no denying that those who are able to beat modern XCOM games deserve a firm pat on the back. That being said, no modern XCOM game will ever compare to the difficulty of X-COM: UFO Defense.

The thing that separates UFO Defense from its competition in this category is the way that it demands you master and constantly consider a daunting number of gameplay mechanics. There is almost no room for error in this incredible game, and you probably won’t even know that you’ve made a mistake until it’s far too late to do anything but start over again.

3. Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy

Is Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy a troll game? Yes, yes it is. However, that doesn’t mean that it shouldn’t be on any shortlist of the most difficult games ever made.

I highly doubt a developer will ever dare to construct puzzles as complicated as the ones featured in Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. Part of the “appeal” of this game is actually the way that its nearly impossible logic puzzles accentuate the ridiculous, yet despondent, nature of its humor. Just be sure to bring a towel.

2. Osu!

I’ll just come out and say that there’s never been a rhythm game as difficult as osu! With no assistance from a required peripheral instrument, osu! manages to challenge your mechanical abilities like no other entry into this genre has ever dreamed to do.

Honestly, the only thing you really need to know about this game is that some of the top FPS players in the world use it to prepare for competitive tournaments and matches. It’s the purest and most challenging video game reflex test that’s ever been constructed, and it’s hard not to love it for that.

1. Wizardry IV: The Return of Werdna

If it seems strange to put an RPG at the top of a list of the hardest PC games ever, that’s because you don’t know Wizardry IV.

Wizardry IV is a unique dungeon crawler where you’re essentially cast as a villain trying to work your way out of Hell. Actually, the best way to describe this game is just that. Hell. From constantly shifting maps to an experience system (or lack thereof) that requires you to beat incredible challenges without being able to consistently rely on your character actually getting stronger, Wizardry IV is quite simply the cruelest game ever made.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

Honestly, Wizardry IV’s first room is arguably the most difficult and unintuitive challenge in video game history. From there, things only get worse. It’s an absolute masterpiece in “f*** everything about this” video game design.

The post 25 Hardest PC Games of All-Time appeared first on Den of Geek.

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cousinmarcustalkswrestling · 3 years

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A Cousin’s Review - NJPW Wrestle Kingdom 15 Night Two

January 5, 2021

Toru Yano vs Bad Luck Fale vs Chase Owens vs Bushi - Fatal Four Way - 2021 KOPW Trophy

These were the last four of the New Japan Rumble and the winner is the current 2021 KOPW Trophy. Fale and Owens are both Bullet Club so they instantly do a Too Sweet of Doom to have Fale steal the title. Fun and goofy little opener. Of course, Yano takes off the turnbuckle pad. Bushi is kind of out of place here, Ishii might’ve been a better pick to make it an unofficial Bullet Club vs CHAOS match, plus I can realistically see Ishii being double champ with those two titles. Owens goes for a pin at one point and Chase stops him and goes for his own pin, then Fale stops him. BULLET CLUB IMPLOSION!! While they argue and attempt to attack the ref, Yano lowblows them both and pins Bushi. BAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!

El Desperado and Yoshinobu Kanemaru (CHAMPS) vs Ryusuke Taguchi and Master Wato - Jr Heavyweight Tag Titles

El Desperado is coming off an amazing performance against Hiromu Takahashi in the Best of the Super Junior Final. Kanemaru was supposed to be in the tournament, but he was injured throughout it. That has absolutely no bearing on this match, but you absolutely have to see Hiromu vs Desperado. This is a fun match, Wato starts off by flattening Desperado with multiple planchas. Taguchi becomes the face in peril and we get some of his fun antics like his infinite rope running, but Despy and Kane are in no mood for games and they’re super nasty targeting Taguchi’s leg. Taguchi makes a comeback and Wato assists gaining some nearfalls, but Desperado catches the ref distracted and straight cold cocks Taguchi then ends it with Pinche Loco. Good solid match.

***

Shingo Takagi (CHAMP) vs Jeff Cobb - NEVER Openweight Title

Shingo reclaimed the NEVER title from Minoru Suzuki at Power Struggle. Cobb set this up by attacking Shingo at the Super Juniors/World Tag League final. Cobb is a heel and apart of Will Ospreay’s Empire, so he’s much nastier now. I knew this would slap, because they’re both great hosses, but this heavily exceeded my expectations. They start out with a slugfest and Shingo quickly finds out he’s at a strength disadvantage when Cobb kicks out of a pin attempt and Shingo flies a few feet in the air, then Cobb slings him with a deadlift belly to belly on the outside. Cobb is so ridiculous that he teases a Razor’s Edge from the apron to the floor, but Shingo slips out, knocks him off the apron, and follows that with a somersault senton!! How old is Shingo again?!?!

Shingo’s back is too hurt for a Noshigami and Cobb drills him with a pretty Razor’s bomb. This is the hossfest to end all hossfests as these two recklessly toss each other around.Shingo is at the disadvantage and every time he manages to land something big on Cobb, it takes so much out of him and his selling is tremendous. He gets drilled with a German and rebounds with a lariat, but he immediately falls right out of the ring. Shingo eventually has to chop block Cobb’s knee and it pays off rather quickly when Cobb hits Tour of the Islands, but can’t immediately cover. Cobb tries to end Shingo with a superplex, but Shingo slips out and powerbombs him. Shingo desperately pulls Cobb’s hair to block another Tour, so Cobb casually gives him a full rotation fallaway slam. Shingo can’t get enough mustard on his Pumping Bombers, but he gives it one last go, turns Cobb inside out with a Pumping Bomber and ends it with Last of the Dragon.

This was start to finish fantastic power wrestling with storytelling, psychology, and selling. A must-see match.

****3/4

Sanada vs Evil

From something amazing to something I don’t really care for. The story is all the way there for this to be great; Former tag partners, one turns on the other, and they actually just met in a super high stakes match in the G1, so this is an even grudgier grudge match. But Sanada is a pretty emotionless guy who needs someone interesting to play off and Evil had a terrible G1 rife with annoying interference and the good matches he did have were because of energetic babyfaces like Naito, Tanahashi, Goto etc. One more thing, I hate how commentary is underplaying Sanada and saying he really needs this win to get into title contention. Has everybody forgotten that he actually beat Naito in the G1??

Sanada actually comes in super energetic and puts Evil in the Paradise lock relatively early. Evil muddies things up on the outside and of course gets some assistance from Dick Togo. SMH. They have a decent back and forth and Evil lands a big ol superplex then goes right to the Scorpion Death Lock, but Sanada gets the ropes. Darkness Falls from Evil gets two, TKO from Sanada gets two. Evil ducks the moonsault, escapes Skull End and rakes his eyes. Ref bump, Dick Togo interference, I DON’T CARE!! Sanada survives Togo interference and chokes Evil out with Skull End. He lands one moonsault to the back, but the second gets nothing but knees. Sanada works his way into Skull End, but garbage ass Evil has to cheat again and Dick Yogo tries to garrote him. Dick Togo takes a phony bumb through a table. Sanada blocks a lowblow and hits Evil with Everything is Evil. A pop-up TKO and another moonsault ends it.

The work was solid and Sanada was motivated, but the formulaic Evil/Togo nonsense annoyed me to no end. Better than the sum of its parts though, I can’t lie.

**3/4

Taiji Ishimori (CHAMP) vs Hiromu Takahashi - Jr Heavyweight Title

These two have excellent chemistry and history that now goes back a few years. Hiromu beat Taiji in a brilliant match in the 2018 Best of the Super Juniors Finals. Then a month later, he broke his neck and was out until late 2019. At Wrestle Kingdom 14, he beat Will Ospreay and reclaimed the Jr Heavyweight Title. At Summer Struggle in Jingu, Taiji beat Hiromu in a great rematch. On the first night of 2020’s Best of the Super Junior Tournament, Hiromu beat Taiji in another great match. Hiromu won the whole tournament then beat El Phantasmo on Night 1 to set up this rematch.

I probably should rewatch all their matches, before I watch this one, but nah. It starts super hot like usual with Hiromu teasing a German suplex on the apron. Taiji flips away from it, but runs directly into a hard powerbomb on the apron. Hiromu tries to show off and run the long ass ramp to a dropkick, but Taiji slams him in a messy spot. Taiji uses the exposed turnbuckle to attack Hiromu’s back and neck, but Hiromu comes back with a wheelbarrow slam on the floor and a running dropkick against the gate. Taiji catches Hiromu with the sliding German and a springboard 450 right on the arm then he immediately goes to the Bone Lock, but Hiromu makes the ropes. Taiji stays aggressive, but Hiromu catches him Taiji with the belly to belly throw to the corner then the DVD into the corner. They have a lightning fast sequence where Taiji gets a big boot, but handsprings into a German suplex. Taiji rebounds with a Destroyer then they slug it out.

Hiromu is too stubborn to die so Taiji goes for a true kill and crushes him with like 40 straight forearms that get progressively stiffer and scarier. Its by far the most violent thing I’ve seen in a New Japan junior match. After beating Hiromu to a pulp, he goes back to beating the shit out of the arm, then locking in the Bone Lock as Hiromu bleeds from the nose. Hiromu just barely gets his foot on the ropes. Hiromu armdrags away from Bloody Cross then counters another Bone Lock attempt to a flatliner. He turns Taiji inside out with a hard lariat then drives him into the exposed turnbuckles. Time Bomb gets two. Taiji counters another attempt and after a struggle, he locks in the Bone Lock once again. He tries to twist the Bone Lock into the Bloody Cross, but Hiromu gets another flatlioner suplex and ends it with the Time Bomb 2.

Ending was anticlimactic and I felt like they could’ve got even hotter, but definitely a great match. Just great action, great display of brutality by Taiji, and a great selling performance by Hiromu. And just taking a gander at the BOTSJ standings, it’d look like Sho has a strong chance of being the next challenger but because he’s the only person besides Desperado to beat Hiromu. We’ll see. Hiromu is suuuuuuuper high in whatever best wrestler in the world list you make.

****1/4

Kota Ibushi (CHAMP) vs Jay White - Heavyweight and Intercontinental Title

Quite the rivalry between these two. Ibushi beat White in a great match to win the 2019 G1 Climax. Then White beat Ibushi three straight times. First at Wrestle Kingdom in a loser vs loser match, then in the G1 in a great match, and finally at Power Struggle with the challenge briefcase on the line. Ibushi finally won the big one by beating Naito on night one, but can he keep it?

Of course, Jay starts by bailing to the outside. Gedo leaps on the apron and Jay surprisingly tells him not to do anything and that he’s gonna do this on his own. Of course like 20 seconds later, Gedo trips Ibushi up and Jay uses it to take over. What a bastard. White targets Ibushi’s neck with a draping DDT and a high backdrop on the apron. White consistently switches body parts to attack as the match goes along, first transitioning from neck to torso.

Ibushi comes back with a powerslam, but White has the moonsault scouted and crotches him then gives him a dragon screw. Ibushi elbows out of a Uranage attempt and snap ranas Jay out of the ring, but his leg gives going for thje Golden Triangle Moonsault and Jay knocks him off the apron. Jay’s varied attack adds so much to everything high impact because its affecting a body part that Jay has already targeted in some form. White tries to strike with Ibushi and predictably gets wrecked. They counter rolls ups and Ibushi stuffs him with the bastard driver. White dodges Boma Ye and hits a sick backdrop suplex, but he runs into a suplex and gets cracked by a Boma Ye that gets two. White punches out of the Golden Powerbomb and tries the rope-assisted backslide that beat Ibushi at Power Struggle but the ref catches it. White’s cheating attempt infuriates Ibushi and he wrecks White with kicks.

Gedo distracts Ibushi from a Phoenix Splash attempt and Jay tries a sleeper superplex, but Ibushi fights him away. White redirects his target to the leg with Dragon Screws and locks in the TTO, but Ibushi gets to the ropes. White slaps at Ibushi and Ibushi becomes God and wrecks him to the point that Jay just lays there and tells Ibushi to pin him. Ibushi gets a little too wild and knocks the ref away and White gets a low blow. White drills Ibushi’s back into the rail telling Ibushi “Fuck You!” every time, then he forearms him to death on the outside and waits for Ibushi to come to him. Ibushi drags his body back in and Jay immediately gives him an STO and a few brutal German suplexes. He wants to German him on the apron, but Ibushi kicks him away and pulls him in with a German from the apron to inside.

Golden Powerbomb only gets two. Jay counters Kamigoye to a hard suplex right on Ibushi’s head then another. Ibushi counters the Blade Runner to a backslide transition to Kamigoye, but Jay kicks out. Ibushi hits the beautiful Phoenix splash, but punk ass Gedo pulls the referee out. Gedo tries to hit Ibushi with brass knuckles, but he eats Kamigoye. Ibushi brings Red Shoes in and immediately eats Blade Runner but he kicks out. I totally saw that one coming and thats not a knock at all. White locks in the TTO again and man Ibushi sells the hell out of it. The closer Ibushi scoots towards the ropes, Jay looks like he’s gonna bust into tears. Ibushi finally gets the ropes and tries a V Trigger out of nowhere, but White counters to another Regalplex for two. Bloody Sunday sets up the Blade Runner, but Ibushi cracks him with a V Trigger. Two more V Triggers, a Kamigoye TO THE BACK OF THE FUCKING HEAD, THEN A KAMIGOYE TO THE FRONT OF THE FUCKING HEAD ends this epic match.

Wow. This was absolutely excellent. Down the stretch, I kept thinking “Man, this feels like a Bret Hart match!” The patience they had to just tell their story and stick to the psychology and not just kick it up a notch for the sake of kicking it up is ridiculously commendable. White’s strategy and characterization was excellent and Ibushi simultaneously looked indestructible while also selling how he was gradually being chopped down by White. Brilliant match and clearly best of both nights.

*****

OVERALL: Big step up from a really good day one to an excellent day two. The KOPW match and Sanada/Evil were just aight. Jr tag was good and three matches that I would’ve bet on being bangers all banged. Hiromu/Taiji Part 4 might be their best work since the first one, Shingo/Cobb was an epic hossfest, and Ibushi/White was an epic storytelling clinic. Awesome show.

OVERALL RATING: 4.5 OUTTA 5

#njpw #2021 #wrestle kingdom #toru yano #hiromu takahashi #taiji ishimori #jay white #kota ibushi #jeff cobb #shingo takagi #el desperado #suzuki gun #master wato #ryusuke taguchi #evil #sanada

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imagine-wannaone · 7 years

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Yoon Jisung Teacher AU

Righty ho, here we go~

• Your relationship with Mr. Yoon Jisung is a mixed bag let me tell you that, • Jisung's class is across the hall, and it just so happens that you and your class can see straight into his classes, • Both of you are science teachers, Because blowing stuff up is cool and you have no idea how the maths or language teachers don't get bored where they can't burn things, • Yeah, your school spares no expenses when it comes to fueling the pyromaniac in the teachers and kids, • Growing up as a kid, science was your favorite subject, • Purely because your teacher was a little bit crazy and that was what you needed in a role model, • So you got all that student debt and rock up to school everyday like you're 14 again, • Jisung is lovely, • To kids as well as the other teachers, • Except that one history teacher because she's scary, • He's one of those teachers that'll stay after school to help his students with one problem but then they start chatting too much and wow, has it been 2 hours? • His desk is next to yours in the science teachers' office and omg he's a chatterbox, • "Jisung we both have a class in exactly 50 seconds please stop telling me about your run in with a spider last night," • Pupils have to remind him to check that experiment because it looks like it'll explode any second, • (You'd be heartbroken if he left but you think he has the job purely because the students love him), • And this is where your problems start, • Jisung is a brilliant teacher okay, • And he loves practicals to pieces, • A little too much? • He seems to do practicals every other lesson, • And this ain't no relaxed practical either, • None of that swabbing your cheek and putting it under a microscope, • Nothing as easy as making electromagnets, • Jisung only seems to do experiments if it offers some sort of danger of killing or at least injuring someone, • You have to admit the excited shine in his eye is a little scary but also increasingly cute, • And thinking that it's cute is saying more about you than him really, • Since your class is opposite his, you can see right inside and it's very distracting, • For you as well as your pupils really, • I mean who can look away when the schools resident crazy scientist is stood on a table with his class and blue looking sparks fizzing like a fountain from an opposite table, • It's more common than not to watch your class scream, fall off their chairs, and gasp in surprise because it sounds like a gunshot has been set off next door, • But you refuse to let him win this crazy scientist position, • So you take things into your own hands, and in no time your class has pink flames and fire in water (a few tame examples), • It becomes the highlight of your day to watch the class next door jump in surprise and your class giggles, • Sometimes you catch eyes with Jisung and wiggle your eyebrows at him, as if in challenge, to ignore the butterflies in your stomach as he smiles and nods at you, acknowledging your move, • And this is the part where you admit you have a huge classroom crush on the engaging and creative teacher next door, • Because his smile sets off butterflies, • And his laugh makes your heart feel full, • Because he's quirky and kind and always willing to help no matter how much it puts him out, • Because he encourages you to persue the thing you love, • Because he makes you love science like never before, • The competition is honestly the most fun you've ever had at work, • And you always overhear students talking about looking forward to your classes, • The whole school knows about your mini competition, so you often see teacher on free periods just 'going to stretch their legs' down your corridor, • Because who doesn't want to see you and a few kids blow stuff up to see which has higher flames? • Yeah, you and Jisung are as bad as each other, • But it's also great because the kids want to learn and their grades have never been so good, • You're packing your bag to go home when Mr. Yoon himself slides into your class, and you grin at him, • It's not an odd situation, the two of you normally pop into each others classes after school to talk over the curriculum, or to discuss a student, or walk to your cars together or ask how your day was, • Throughout your unofficial competition, the two of you haven't said a word about it, keeping it to glances and smiles and smirks, although you usually talk quite a bit, • Because it's unavoidable with Jisung, • "Your experimental with the socks today was totally original, my whole class couldn't take their eyes off you," • Jisung's words make a wave of pride and joy and confidence ripple through you, • "And you?" • You mean it playfully, with a smile, but the next sentence from Jisung makes you nearly choke, • "I can never take my eyes off you," • He's blushing and you're blushing and he's SO E X T R A and you're suffering 2nd hand embarrassment from his cringy one liner but it makes the butterflies in your stomach change to fireworks, • "Well I'm glad it works both ways then," • The two of you stand there for a minute, eye to eye, all of the awkward embarrassment or playfulness disappearing in a matter of seconds, • You take in his soft looking hair, slightly singed at the edges from yesterday; his delicate hands used to quickly mix chemicals then retreat before they reacted, • And his eyes, so often filled with a joyous, curious, creative, passionate, wild look: now filled with an intensity that would, any other day, feel intimidating, • And he leans over and kisses you, • Simple as that, • Except it's not really that simple, • Because the fireworks are now a new year's show and your cheeks are warm and your head is fuzzy and his lips are soft and you can feel him smiling, • You feel like someone just put francium with water in your heart because, damn, it's reacting, • (You're a science teacher you're aloud to make bad element similes), • And then you're just smiling at each other again like total dorks, • And that is the beginning of the schools most infamous couple, • You're infamous because you often join classes to do massive practicals, • You've had approximately 7 near death experiences since you started working together, • But then Jisung's had 12 so we can tell who gets a little t o o engaged, • You share each others' test subjects to discuss new experiment ideas, • The competition does not end there, • Oh no don't worry about that, • It gets BIGGER and BETTER, • Oh boy, the students ship you just for the intense things you do now, • Jisung creates a cloud in his classroom and it starts to rain? • Your class almost floods the room with individual mini clouds. • Jisung changes his massive fire green? • Your class puts all of the Bunsen burners together to make a rainbow. • And it really works because the grades are creeping up and everyone knows it's a competition between the two classes, • You and Jisung ride to work together and sing along to all the cheesy songs and memorise the periodic table song together, • Low key start an unofficial science choir with science songs and meet ups after school on Thursday, • PDA low-key at school, but with the joint experiments you manage to sneak your arms around each other; • For safety of course, don't want Mr. Yoon to burn his eyebrows off again. . . • But that doesn't mean that you don't sneak off at lunch, • You're on each others level, you understand when someone wants to rant about dark matter and understand each others goofy science jokes, • THE SCIENCE PICK UP LINES OMG, • "Are you made of Copper and Tellurium? Because you are Cu-Te ," • "Oh lord Jisung please stop this is only second period," • And jibberish like, • "Hey baby, will a little more alcohol catalyze this reaction?" • "Y/N, these are year 9's, they understand that line, please," • "Jisung. . . That wasn't a pickup line that was just a question," • They're really awful but you both giggle like goofs, • So yup, great teachers, but even better together because the passion is overflowing

#Yoon Jisung #Jisung #Teacher au #wanna one #produce 101 #pd 101 #broduce 101 #fluff #oneshot #scenario #headcanons #imagine #fanfic #fanfiction #cute #gosh darn jisung is a fave

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randomfandomimagine · 7 years

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Double Date (Harry x Reader)

Character: Harry Potter

Fandom: Harry Potter

Categories: Reader Insert, Female!Reader, Fluff

Title: Double Date

Requested by anon:

hey hii could i have a harry potter x reader pls? like maybe they r dating but havent seen each other in a while and when they do, they have a double date with ronmione and when they see her it's all gasps cause she looks more gorgeous and is more powerfull, like they all are just in awe, and could this story take place on the double date pleaze? like ron & har have small competitions on who could win more games and stuff like that, tons of fluff pleasee. thank you, sweets💘

Lately everything was quite mad.

I couldn’t really meet any of my friends for the majority of the summer, but I finally got a chance to do it. The first thing I did was sending a letter to Harry and soon Hedwig came back with the answer.

I had missed him really badly, and being apart from my boyfriend for more than two months was terrible. And it was just as dull to be away from Hermione and Ron, to be quite honest.

We hadn’t seen each other much at the end of the year at Hogwarts either because of the exams, but I was glad that everything was working out and we could see each other. Even though I was slightly nervous.

Harry was incredibly excited, it was obvious by the way he wrote the response. He had told me that Ron and Hermione were going to have a date and that it would be fantastic if the four of us could part take in a double date.

It sounded wonderful but… I felt quite insecure about it.

Not because it wasn’t going to be fun, but because I had changed a lot in those two and something months. I had practiced magic a lot and all my family members kept saying how beautiful I was lately, how my face was glowing.

It probably had to do with the fact that I was happy and in love.

I took a deep breath, feeling unable to erase the smile from my face as I prepared to go into the Three Broomsticks Inn. That’s where we were all meeting.

It felt great to visit Hogsmeade again, and just being there hit me with nostalgia. But overall, I was beyond excited to reunite with my friends. And especially Harry.

I opened the door and walked in, ironing my dress absently with my hands. I looked around the inn until I spotted all three sitting in a table. I chuckled to myself at the thought that Ron and Harry weren’t late for once.

“Hi!” I cheerfully said as I approached them, balancing my weight from my heels to my toes.

The three turned to look at me happily, recognizing the sound of my voice. Smiles were plastered on their faces as well, but disappeared as soon as they eyes fell on me.

“Hello!” Hermione was the only one to get over the shock of seeing me again after so long and to actually say something first.

Both Harry and Ron gasped in awe, staring at me. Even if Harry was looking me up and down with a goofy and delighted grin too.

“Bloody hell, Y/N!” Ron exclaimed finally.

“Wow” Harry’s response was just a wide grin that accompanied his words.

“Boys…” Hermione rolled her eyes, even though a fond smile appeared on her lips.

When they looked at her, she urged them to actually gather some thoughts to tell me instead of just staring like idiots.

“It’s great to see you!” Ron stood up and gave me a hug.

“You too, Weasley” I squeezed him and dedicated him a warm smile as we broke the friendly embrace.

“Y/N, you look lovely!” Harry stood up himself and gave me a kiss on the cheek, quite self-conscious since Ron and Hermione were there.

“You look beautiful” Hermione nodded, greeting me with a hug.

“Thank you” I said to all of them, probably blushing by the attention and compliments.

“We, uh…” The redhead stuttered, trying to get over his surprise. “We already ordered a butterbeer for you”

“Brilliant!” I sat next to Harry, trying to repress a grin as I noticed he couldn’t keep his eyes off me.

I absently looked at the other couple, but since they had started to chat amongst themselves, I decided to focus my attention on Harry. He was startled when I fixed my eyes on his.

“What is it, Harry?”

“Sorry, Y/N” His never faltering smile was contagious. “You always look pretty, but today you just look… wow”

“It’s the second time you say ‘wow’ today” I teased him, coyly swaying over to him until I nudged him.

“Probably won’t be the last” Then he dedicated me such a loving look that I had to kiss him in the cheek.

“Stop, though” I giggled, averting my eyes timidly. “You’re making me blush”

“Aw” Hermione had noticed our interaction. “You two are adorable!”

“What are you saying, Hermione?” Ron was offended by her words. “We are more adorable”

“No you’re not” My boyfriend stated confidently.

“Wanna bet, mate?” His best friend challenged him.

“Boys” Hermione joked, making me laugh a little.

Just then, the waitress put the butterbeers in our table. I guessed it was the time to catch up and say what we did during those two months.

There was a soft silence after all of that chatting. It was brilliant to hear about what my friends were up to, especially since Harry mentioned a couple of times how much he missed me. Even if I could tell by his many letters.

“More butterbeer, children?” The nice waitress came to our table once she noticed our glasses were now empty.

“Yes, please” Ron helped her gather them to take them away.

“I’m so happy” I piped up when the silence settled again. “I was looking forward to meeting you!”

“Me too” In Harry’s lips was plastered that genuine and very wide grin that I adored so much, and it wouldn’t erase. “Especially you, Y/N”

I smiled bashfully, giggling when he put his arms around me and held me close.

As always, I looked at Hermione in response. Whenever Harry did something endearing like that, I glanced over to her to share my happiness and excitement with her. As if saying ‘look at this, Hermy! He’s adorable’.

And as always, she chuckled in amusement and nodded.

Just then I saw Ron placed an arm over her shoulders and gently brought her closer to his side, where he cuddled her cutely.

“Ronald…” Hermione was the one to blush then and I was the one laughing.

I locked eyes with Ron by accident, and I could see the challenging and mischievous hint to them as he set his gaze on Harry. Just then, he reminded me of his brothers Fred and George.

I knew what he was trying to do, though. Ron was trying to outcute us. He was determined to show that Hermione and he could be more adorable than Harry and I.

Just then the waitress came back with our drinks and we absently thanked her since we were too immersed in the playful and silly dynamic we had created.

To both conceal my amusement and challenge Ron back, I hid my smirk behind my glass as I took a small sip of my butterbeer.

Ron wasn’t bothered, he was trying to jokingly annoy Hermione in an attempt to be cute, but failed miserably. In fact, he just ended up actually annoying her a little.

“Oi!” Hermione softly complained, gently punching him on the shoulder.

Ronald, in response, was mortified by her reaction as he got the opposite effect of what he intended.

I could glimpse a smirk on Harry’s lips as well as he moved closer to me to whisper in my ear.

“I wish George and Fred were here to see this, they would tease Ron for life”

I found that comment so funny that I choked on my drink and spilled it all over myself.

“Sorry, Y/N” Harry apologized clumsily, hurrying to pick up a napkin and clean my mouth with it.

“It’s alright” I chuckled, letting him do it and holding their glares while they laughed. “Don’t worry, Har”

I noticed how he blushed when I called him that, like being such a klutz and causing me to spill my drink all over myself wasn’t enough.

“Aw, don’t be shy, Har” I obnoxiously pinched his cheek, earning sniggers from the other two.

“Stop it, Y/N” My boyfriend whined in embarrassment.

“You turned completely red, Harry!” Ron laughed, this time openly, pointing at him.

“You don’t ever get flustered, do you, Ron?” Hermione teased her boyfriend, tickling him a little.

Just with that, he blushed bright red and made us all laugh.

“Look who’s talking, Hermione” The ginger retaliated by tickling her back.

She made some hilarious giggly and squeaky noises that had us all in a fit of laughter.

It would be a fun evening.

I linked my arm with Hermione’s as we walked and chatted once outside the Three Broomsticks. However, we would often look over our shoulders to the boys.

“What do you think they’re on about?” My friend asked me. “They’ve been discussing for ages”

“Knowing them, still about which couple is cuter” She nodded reluctantly at my response, which made us both laugh a bit.

We heard them playfully fighting and pushing each other until Ron arrived in a jog and walked next to Hermione.

“I bought some licorice from Honeydukes” The ginger held it up, showing it to her. “Want a bite?”

Hermione grinned a bit, finding that both amusing and endearing, and nodded.

Ron basically fed it to her, looking over his shoulder to Harry with a smirk. Just then, my boyfriend arrived and placed his jacket over my shoulders as we kept on walking.

“There, Y/N” Harry proudly announced as he coated me with it. “You looked cold”

“Thank you” I sweetly smiled at him, actually welcoming the heat in the middle of the cold winter of Hogsmeade.

“Boys” Hermione intervened, letting out a chuckle. “Can you stop it?”

“Stop what?” Ron innocently said, pretending like he didn’t know.

He knew better than to think we weren’t smart enough –and knew them well enough –to figure out what they were up to. What silly and childish game they were playing.

“Let’s just say that we’re adorable in different ways” I looked at them both and shook my head in exasperation, even if I was smiling. “You absolute goofballs”

The two of them seemed embarrassed by my implied accusations, so they bowed their heads down and nodded in silence.

“Just so you know, I wasn’t lying” Harry rushed to say as he held my hand tenderly. “You look beautiful”

“Hermione does too! Even more beautiful!”

Us girls just walked faster like before, leaving them behind while they ignored us and behaved like children, arguing about who was cuter and more beautiful.

#imagine #oneshot #reader insert #requested #harry x reader #harry potter x reader #harry imagine #harry oneshot #hp #hp imagine #harry #harry potter #hp oneshot #harry potter imagine #harry potter oneshot #harry james potter #fluff #hp fluff #harry potter fluff

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spockandawe · 7 years

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I really need to stop saying that ‘I’ve got time and spoons now and it’s time to catch up!’ because I’m pretty sure it actually just means ‘look out, I’m about to be totally dead for a week or two’. But here I am, I’m not asleep yet, and I do like talking about nsfw character things.

Time to take on some of the more challenging characters from my inbox! First up is Nightbeat.

A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Oh man, I’m a total sucker for any excuse to get people to cuddle, but I just can’t make it fit for Nightbeat. He’s no good at boredom, and understimulation is going to be really, really easy when you aren’t doing much but lying in a bed together. Unless you wear him out to the point of exhaustion and he drops asleep right afterwards, he’s going to be up and active. He can be affectionate and things too! But it has to come while he’s DOING something.

B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Ahhhh, this one’s tricky for everyone, EXTRA tricky for him. If we come at it from an angle of what body parts are most fun to focus on in bed, lemme think. For Nightbeat, if he had to pick ONE thing, it would be the face. Because like he did with Cyclonus, he can read an uncomfortably personal level of detail off all sorts of places if he wants, but the face is going to give away more about emotions in the moment than anywhere else. If he has to key in to any one thing, that’s the one. On the flip side, it’s a lot of fun to cover up his eyes and make him work harder for information. Because stuff in bed... there isn’t a SCRIPT, but there’s a fairly logical progression. Variety and Interesting Things are the way to keep him engaged, and it’s easier to stop him from getting ahead of the plot if you can slow him down and make him work for the information.

C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)

This is a little abstract, but imagine, like... him breaking down the theory of what’s being expressed in the symbolism of a sex act. So like, imagine him getting a blowjob with the other person kneeling in front of him, and when he’s about to overload they pull off and Nightbeat comes all over their face. Nightbeat breaking down the MEANING behind the act in a way that people usually... don’t unless they’re me and writing about that kind of thing for fictional characters :V But if he’s able to talk through the ideas of submission, possession, surrender, marking, all that, he can access some emotional territory that really doesn’t come naturally to him :P

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Dirty secret. Hm. Probably he’s got a fantasy about being tied up and overstimulated to within an inch of his life, so much overwhelming sensation and exhaustion that he can’t even think anymore. Because he DOESN’T know how to stop his mind from constantly racing and problem-solving, and being forcibly knocked out of that headspace is something fascinating to think about. On the other hand, I don’t think he bothers sharing that, because pfft, someone who can overwhelm him enough to stop him from thinking? Can’t be done, he’s too brilliant, but it is interesting in the abstract. (don’t tell nautica, because that sounds like a challenge)

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Oh gosh. Let’s go with... not virginal. Experienced enough to know the basics, including the basics of a decent spread of kink stuff. But he’s never had a long-term thing, whether casual or emotional. In a casual setting, he doesn’t see the appeal, seems like an overall waste of time and energy when he can deal with the occasional urge on his own or find a quick hookup. He’s been vaguely interested in the relationship thing for a while, but there wasn’t anyone who was clicking with him that way, and it wasn’t an URGENT interest, so it’s slid for a long time.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Face to face, for sure, but within that I’m having trouble seeing any strong preferences. But having that face-to-face eye contact and such, it helps him stay engaged. Which is good! But he is prone to his mind kind of wandering off in whatever interesting new direction, and if he can keep himself focused on the scene and his partner, it’s more fun for both of them.

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

Oh my god, he’s a goof. It’s not very intentional, but he doesn’t take himself too seriously either. He acts however he acts, and can recognize the humor in being a kind of unusual person. He kind of enjoys gentle ribbing about the unintentionally-goofy things he does, because the other person is engaged and taking in information about him (the way he can’t help but constantly take in information about them), and is really processing and responding to that input. It’s not exactly the kind of decoding he does, but it’s close enough that he loves it. See: Nautica again, I really, really love the way they interact.

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

He’s generally well-cleaned, but he doesn’t really seek out situations that would get him not-clean either. If he’s doing normal everyday things, he keeps up with stuff, but if he has a major hyperfocus thing going on, good luck getting him to keep up with food, sleepy, hygiene, any of it.

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

Oh my goodness, romantic is not the right word for Nightbeat XD He can be really sweet and caring, but I just can’t see him finding it important to perform romance. It’s kind of... not-necessary, to his way of thinking. He’s showing he cares in the important ways, and emotions are expressed there without setting aside actions to only Express Emotions. He’s attentive, as long as he’s interested and engaged, and if he’s sleeping with you, he probably does care enough to be plenty interested and engaged. Otherwise, why would he do it? Expressing DEEP, heartfelt emotions is probably a thing he dodges, because he doesn’t do emotional vulnerability very well, but that’s a whole other story.

J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)

Honestly, I’m not seeing it happen that much :P Physical urges happen, and sure, maybe he’ll sometimes act on them. But if there’s anything else that has his attention, getting himself off gets bumped to the back of the priority queue.

K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)

Ooh, this is going to come up a little under N, but I think that most of the kinks he has are centered around control. Either orders or bondage or laying out rules or whatever other thing. If someone can take control of him and make his decisions for him and take the steering wheel, that’s hot. If he can tie someone down and almost treat them like an experiment and methodically (sexily) break them down to an endpoint of one or more overloads, that’s hot. And fun. He doesn’t have much preference for topping/bottoming or subbing/domming, but he’s pretty easygoing within those bounds.

L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)

No real preference? A place is a place, and unless bits of the setting are playing a role in the sex, the sex is about people and bodies. He just doesn’t much see why it matters.

M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)

I think the best way to describe it would just be... being Interested in someone. If he’s interested and engaged and there’s mutual desire, hey, there we go. Hitting that point of interest and desire is the tricky bit, but once he’s decided someone is interesting and he likes them, that’s most of the hard part done. Have I said interesting enough times yet?

N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Going from K, I think that where he stops being interested is when things go into the realm of like, painplay, humiliation, etc. Stuff that feels to him more about DOING a thing to a person, rather than it being a mutual activity. That’s not true depending on how you play, of course, but it’s where his interest stops. He doesn’t see much appeal in talking down to someone and telling them they’re just a toy for his pleasure. He’s fine with some pain within the context of something like bondage, but once it starts to escalate his interest drops.

O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)

Receiving, honestly. He’s not bad at giving, but oral sex is a fairly repetitive thing, and that’s not great for his boredom levels. It’s a bit of an issue sometimes in receiving too, but at least there he has more vision field to take things in, he doesn’t have to DO anything, and he can watch the other person, instead of getting just a close up view of the other person’s junk while he repeats a set of motions manymany times. He’ll give or receive without complaining, but it’s going to go better for everyone if it’s fast.

P = Pace (Are they fats and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Ummmm. Not fast, exactly. But not slow. I think getting him to either speed extreme would have to be coming from his partner, and wouldn’t be his pick. On his own, I think he moves at a reasonable clip, but it’s definitely not rushed, and it’s pretty measured. He wants to Do A Thing and observe the reaction and continue Doing Things. If it was a slow scene, boredom. If it’s fast, he’s not getting enough time to look at the interesting bits.

Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)

He’s totally down, but I doubt he’ll initiate often. Honestly, I think he rarely initiates period, but he’s usually pretty open and receptive. It’s fun, it’s not something he would have asked for on his own, but he’s more than happy to roll with it.

R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)

Game to experiment, but only if he intellectually can see the appeal first, because otherwise, why would he want to do the thing? So someone trying to explain why they like being objectified, he probably wouldn’t click any further than ‘I don’t GET it, but I guess I’ll take your word’. But if you can get him engaged with the idea of a kink and why it’s hot, he’s probably down.

S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)

He lasts a reasonably long amount of time, and I think he’s good for multiple rounds, but not with a very fast refractory period. He’s got stamina, but he’s not really designed for marathon sex (and he’d probably get bored before then and cut things short, tbh)

T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

If he owns a toy, it’s a pretty basic model that he doesn’t mind losing or leaving behind somewhere :P He doesn’t see much appeal in sex without the connection of a partner, and he doesn’t see much appeal in toys when he’s already got two good hands right here.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oooh, he wouldn’t think it was teasing, but he can be GOOD at this. If he gets into the mode where his partner is an experiment, where he provides an input and observes the reaction. Imagine him doing a SUPER thorough, methodical breakdown of everything about them. He could make this last for a long, LONG time. A long, SEXY time. Heck, even if he just got interested in how edging affects a person, he can be very patient as long as he’s getting interesting results.

V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)

Not too loud, I think. He can get vocal, but I think it runs more towards lots of words at a very moderate volume. If you can get him into just making noises and not words, you know you’ve done a good job with him.

W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)

There’s a fic I’ve wanted to write for ages, with Nautica having Nightbeat either tied up and gagged, or tied up and blindfolded, and having the personal challenge of keeping someone like him engaged and getting past a bit of the built-in self-control and giving him an EXPERIENCE. Given enough history between them and how the trust and openness is balanced out, she could totally pull off that fantasy about getting so overstimulated he can’t even think anymore.

Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)

It’s not low, but... it’s a low priority. If a partner wants it, that bumps it up the priority queue. If nothing prompts him, there’s lots of other interesting stuff he could be spending time on.

Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

NOT very. Unless you get him straight-up exhausted, he’s up and on his feet and MOVING as soon as he can manage. He’ll eventually wind down and come back to bed, if it’s night, but he doesn’t get sleepy after sex, he gets active.

#nightbeat #mtmte #maccadam #transformers #nsfw//#ask meme

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seosamhmooney · 7 years

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My Top 10 Favorite Musical Movies

I love top 10 lists for no legitimate reason, and I really don’t understand why they’re a thing other than the fact that they’re somewhat pleasing in some inexplicable way. So here’s one of my “Top 10s” lists. Enjoy

10. Into the Woods

Honestly, this one just makes this list because I enjoy shitting on it. Although it was decently cast, I’m still not sure what Johnny Depp was doing as the wolf (or even why the wolf was present? Does he actually serve a purpose to the ultimate story? Didn’t think so). Anna Kendrick is always charming, and frankly, her “On the Steps of the Palace” song was just fabulous. And sure, intertwining fairytales sounds like a cool or innovative idea, but seriously, it’s been done so many times (re: abc’s Once Upon a Time, Cornelia Funke’s Reckless books, etcetera)--and perhaps Sondheim did do it before it became a “thing”--but the movie comes across as tacky, boring, and generally pointless. Next.

9. Sweeney Todd: the Demon Barber of Fleet Street

Also known as, What Happens When Tim Burton Directs a Musical. It’s almost so gaudy it works, but not quite. Helena Bonham Carter does some good work in this one, but certainly not her best. It’s almost a shame to see someone who has done such beautiful movies as A Room with a View and The Wings of the Dove fall into this constant cycle of playing these borderline goofy characters (see Alice in Wonderland, Cinderella, Dark Shadows, etc.--none of which I did not enjoy, by the way; I absolutely loved all three of these mentioned films, but HBC plays such one-dimensional characters it’s f r u s t r a t i n g. Johnny Depp was actually nominated for a Golden Globe for this movie, which I don’t think was necessarily called for, but did he win? Nope. Wasn’t going to. When the kid and the mostly mute prison girl are the best parts of the cast, something isn’t working right. Plus, the movie was just so gray. I get it, London is no pretty city, but--oh, wait, yes it is. London’s beautiful, shut the fuck up.

8. La La Land

Oh, La La Land. So right, but so, so damn wrong! I adore this movie, although it took me three times to watch the full movie to get to this point of appreciation. When I first left the cinema, I was livid. I had gone with my aunt and uncle for my birthday, and we all left just frustrated. Damien Chazelle had given us such a visually stunning and cinematically innovative film, but he also gave us a shit excuse for a love story. Honestly, Mr. Chazelle, please don’t write another script. Leave that to actual writers. You stick with cinematic brilliance, hun. Thanks, x. Justin Horwitz, however, ABSOLUTELY KILLED IT. The music is astounding. Simply astounding. I had the privilege of seeing La La Land at the Hollywood Bowl with a live orchestra, and damn, it was good. It was so good. Ryan Gosling is nothing special (unfortunately!), and as much of a bitch as Emma Stone’s Mia is, she absolutely deserved that Oscar. Now about the singing: frankly, I didn’t mind it. I have friends who hated it (because they’re trained singers so they have a bit of a superiority complex about these kinds of things), but as someone who cannot particularly sing well myself, I enjoyed seeing two more realistic characters thrown into a musical world and pull it off more than adequately well.

7. The Phantom of the Opera

I want to rank this higher. I really, really, really do. But for obvious reason, I cannot. The singing is mediocre, and the acting is even worse. I don’t know who cast Gerard Butler, but yikes. A lot of the editing is rather shoddy, and as much as I do love Minnie Driver as Carlotta, they should have chosen an actual opera singer instead of choosing a decently known Hollywood name. Also, the deformity is literal horse shit. Just horse shit. But now the good things: 1. Patrick Wilson; yes! I absolutely love his Raoul. He’s tragic and a little girly and a bit of a pussy but so in love that he steps up when he needs to. And his voice is arguably the best in comparison with his coworkers’. 2. The cinematography and set design are stunning, absolutely stunning. I get the chills every time the chandelier is raised during the “Overture”, and although the Phantom’s lair isn’t exactly a house on a lake, I thought it was very reminiscent of the stage production, which I appreciated greatly. 3. The costumes! Jesus! Although Christine’s “Think of Me” dress does not go with the time period of the opera she’s supposed to be performing and the Phantom’s last few costumes are waaaaay too hot, I thought the costume department did a fabulous job creating dazzling costumes that just worked with the whole “pretty” feel of the film. 4. They nail the story. I remember watching Phantom as a child and sobbing every time I finished it. The Phantom doesn’t deserve Christine, but he deserves to know what love is just like any other man, and in telling this, the story succeeds.

6. Grease

I’m not one for teen movies, I’m just not. Clueless is nice, and Heathers has a special place in my heart, but I’ve never been into the whole high school drama film thing. Still, I must admit that I loved Grease. I refused to watch it for the longest time because I had a friend who literally based his entire look on Danny Zuko, and it was so obnoxious I refused to watch the film. Plus John Travolta has always sort of creeped me out. But I gave in, and I was so surprised. Olivia Newton-John is just darling as Sandra Dee, John Travolta isn’t unbearable as Danny Zuko, and Frenchy is such a charming character, but the one person I think gets so overlooked but could be such a show-stealer is Rizzo. Stockard Channing set the bar high for this character, as she does a fantastic job conveying the too-cool-for-school but has-a-heart-of-gold-kinda Rizzo. My favorite player on the Chicago Cubs is Anthony Rizzo because of this movie (Can you tell I’m not a huge sports fan?).

5. Chicago

Many people call this the best musical movie ever made, and really, it’s very, very well done. I mean, it is. A movie doesn’t get six Academy Awards just because. The dancing is actual fire, Richard Gere is one dazzling bastard, and Catherine Zeta-Jones absolutely steals the show as Velma Kelly. Sorry, Renée Zellweger. Zellweger's Roxie is charming, sure, but she comes off as so weak a character and a person that it’s difficult to even enjoy most of her scenes. The set designs are nothing spectacular, but what makes everything come together is the musical numbers (somewhat ironic, because almost every musical number physically departs from the story’s setting). “All That Jazz” is a killer opening, Queen Latifah’s “When You’re Good to Mama” is too much fun, “Cell Block Tango” practically changed the game for musical movie choreography, and where do I even begin with “Roxie”? Spoiler: it was Zellweger’s most convincing scene, but that’s almost completely due to the choreography and set design. Chicago will certainly be studied in film schools in years to come. As much as there is on the surface of the film, there is so much more than meets the eye, and for all these reasons, Chicago is a fabulous, fabulous film.

4. Les Misérables

I actually considered ranking this between Phantom and Chicago but ultimately decided to move it up. Victor Hugo’s novel is a challenge for a number of reasons, but chief among them being the massive span of time his novel covers. So a musical version obviously has to fit this all within three hours, and say what you will, I do believe Les Mis does a good job. The story is obviously cut down tremendously, but it really does not lose much (if any) of the message it has to offer. Now, the film is not perfect. For instance, I absolutely hated Hugh Jackman and Russell Crowe. I really did. A lot of people hated Amanda Seyfried, but I really loved her portrayal of Cosette (but maybe just the acting part, her singing is a bit shaky). Samantha Barks and Eddie Redmayne are class-acts, and HBC does a fine job as Mme. Thenardier. I almost have nothing to say about Anne Hathaway. Her performance speaks for itself. I sob every time Fantine dies. She is so, so, so, so good. And three cheers for Colm Wilkinson. He’s just a great guy and a great performer. The film’s direction is often debated, whether it is good or bad, but I really thought it was quite good and quite different from what others might have done. Tom Hooper took advantage of the screen in ways the stage cannot be taken advantage of, offering the audience a chance to look closely at the faces of the actors, to really appreciate the emotional tolls the characters endure.

3. Cabaret

Liza Minelli embodies Sally Bowles. I mean, never have I ever believed so strongly that an actor was born for a role, but Minelli was born for Sally, and as the soul of the show, she breathes life into the film and somehow manages to carry the story on her shoulders. Joel Grey is a fantastic Emcee, and the supporting characters are great as well. Although I don’t care for several of the subplots, I thought the primary storytelling was borderline flawless (except for the ghastly ending; Lord help me, I have so many qualms with the ending; the level of vague is off the charts and unnecessarily so). But the singing is splendid and the dancing is spectacular. The way the Kit Kat Club fits into the story almost as a character itself is subtle and brilliant, and just about every single set is exactly how I imagine it should be. Again, Liza Minelli was born for this, and she rightly won the Oscar for Best Actress. Go you, Liza. Lots of love, x.

2. Moulin Rouge!

Usually, I would consider Moulin Rouge! my favorite movie of all time, but I’ll explain in the next entry why this is not the case for this list. Like I said, this is my favorite film of all time, and for a plethora of reasons. 1. It is unique and innovative; Moulin Rouge! made the 21st-century musical possible, and everything from Chicago to La La Land owes much to Baz Luhrmann. 2. Ewan McGregor and Nicole Kidman’s chemistry is everything. They work well together, they sound good together, and they carry Luhrmann’s admittingly wild storytelling techniques with grace and fun. 3. The sets and general production design. This entire movie was filmed in a single room (granted, a very, very large room), but Luhrmann creates a world so vivid and so alive that it hardly feels claustrophobic. 4. The music is different but familiar and well-orchestrated. Luhrmann did something most people wouldn’t even think twice about doing because it’s “tacky” or “unoriginal”, but he instead takes familiar and beloved songs, sets them all to a beautiful story about love and loss, and creates a new musical so vibrant, it changed the face of the musical genre.

1. The Sound of Music

The Sound of Music. Arguably the greatest musical of all time, The Sound of Music is a timeless story of faith, love, war, family, and hope. The only musical on this list based on the actual events of Maria Kutschera and her life as the governess and step-mother of the von Trapp children, The Sound of Music embodies everything a musical (and a good story!) should be. Life is no fairytale--it is full of hard times and beautiful times and times when it seems the whole world will collapse upon itself. Life is no fairytale, and as beautiful as this film is, it relates to its audience real life morals and real life messages that should be taken to heart by anyone in search of a happy life. Julie Andrews is the only person to embody a character more than Liza Minelli embodies Sally Bowles, and her Maria is a sweet, powerful, kind woman, who, though unsure of the direction her life will go, stands for what she believes in and positively changes the lives of so many along the way. Christopher Plummer is the perfect Captain von Trapp, and the children are perfectly cast as well. Actually, fuck it, the whole cast is perfect. Governess Elsa Schräder, Max Detweiler, and the Mother Abbess are flawless secondary characters, who come and go throughout the film flawlessly. I would also like to note how it stayed in cinemas for FOUR YEARS after its release. Now that’s a bloody good film. The sets and cinematography are fabulous, the script is so well done it’s unreal, and the songs--the songs!!!--are as good as they are iconic (and damn, are they iconic).

So here is my first (second, actually) post on Tumblr. Cheers. x

#musicals #film #musical movie #top ten list #the sound of music #moulin rouge #cabaret #les miserables #chicago #grease #the phantom of the opera #la la land #sweeney todd #into the woods

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thatsnotcanonpodcasts · 5 years

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The Phantom of the Opera Sandwich

Ol' Matty is kicking back after some well earned dishonourably discharged R&R when he realises that the demon bear terrorising Paris might be somewhat his fault. When a wise cricket tries to give him advice, Ol' Matty heeds by destroying the plane and landing in the Paris Opera, toppling a chandelier into an innocent and aiding a kidnapping in one less-than-heroic swing. Realising that Gaston Leroux's famous alleged Opera Ghost has turned the Opera into a deadly extension of their devious self, Ol' Matty follows the Phantom to his lair hoping to find the bear, in truth, under the pale mask, and, if not, at the very least bust some ghosts. Ol' Matty finds adventure, torture, taverns, and barrels of fun with a pinch of gunpowder. And, of course, he might just find a Delicious Word Sandwich.

Published in 1910 by Gaston Leroux, a renowned investigative journalist, travel writer and sensational crime solver, The Phantom of the Opera became a surprise smash, blending sweeping melodrama and comic-book tier iconography with hard-boiled pulp and gothic literature styles that like a Phantom would haunt popular culture for better or worse evermore. It is a methodical novel rich with characterisations and goofy hyperbole that is ultimately more obsessed with the criminally insane and obsession itself than in heroic Parisian romances, which in spite of modern adaptations is its greatest asset according to Ol’ Matty.

Flying in his very own WW2 Bombing plane, Ol’ Matty rids himself of a pestering cricket by firing his pistol from inside the cockpit. You killed Jiminy and yourself in one shot. Not a hole in one, but certainly a hole in done. As in, you’re done. You get it. Needless to say, Ol’ Matty abandons the plane to crash wherever it may and finds himself falling into the lap of Paris, which is now under the dictating control of our hero’s arch-nemesis: Jim Pawsby, the Nazi, human handed, M16 wielding, unicycling demon bear. He’s a lot.

Swinging into action, quite literally, at the gilded end of a swashbuckler’s rope (a goddamn chandelier), Ol’ Matty causes it to fall on a patron, killing them, and finds his bloody entrance has called a ripe distraction for the infamous Opera Ghost to steal away with a beloved opera singer, Christine Daaé.

Feeling inexplicably partially responsible (“PARTIALLY”!?), Ol’ Matty pays homage to the almighty Bill Murray and prepares to go Opera Ghostbusting, although it is very, very possible that this devilish death’s headed spectre is really Jim Pawsby in disguise. After all, the plot is absurd enough to be perpetuated by a demon bear. Teaming up with the fine wine drinking Gaston Leroux, who really likes his name “Gaston”, a dork named Raoul, a mysterious figure known only as the Persian, and NOT Jiminy Cricket because he bloody shot the little guy, Ol’ Matty ventures to the lair of the Phantom to find the truth, justice and a slice of the redemption he doesn’t even know he needs.

All the same, Ol' Matty has created a delightfully devilish and delicious word sandwich with all the anger, obsession and defiance of Leroux’s iconic antihero, deciphering the ramblings of the hard drinking, gambling and brawling Gaston to find just how this pulp mystery gumshoed through the centuries (bread), venturing on a katabasis into introspective and sometimes cruel story (meat), meeting a complicated, tormented yet brilliant vengeful sociopath (cheese), tearing away the mask to discover the deathly themes (sauce) and then whatever damn well pleases fits with those ingredients He ain’t a chef. I think it’s his way of making sure he adds salad. Well, this time he had no interest in making friends on this adventure, let alone best friends, so I suppose that’s growth, too. Don’t get stuck in catacombs again, Ol’ Matty. The last time had pacing issues.

Love stories? Love hearing about the tales of old with Ol' Matty but want to know them yourself? Want to join the Book Club Sandwich but don't have the time or desire to sit down and read? Well, you dolt, check out Audible, where you can drive to your destination and faraway lands all at once. P.S. Audible, please sponsor me.

For more short stories like the one featured here, The Poltroon Husband by Joseph O’Neill see The New Yorker either online or subscribe to have the magazine delivered for those delectable morning reads. You sponsor me too, New Yorker.

I have only ever read the book with my own eyeballs so I can't personally vouch for any version on Audible, however it is available.

Adaptations of the Phantom of the Opera are a whole discussion. Thankfully this discussion has been had in TWO PARTS by the wondrous genius that is Lindsay Ellis in her “Loose Canon” about the series and merits of the adaptations of the Phantom of the Opera. I will say I enjoy the musical, for all my things against it, but do not treat it as a true adaptation. For my money, the silent film of 1925 with Lon Chaney in the title role captures this book the best, thus far.

Until next time, my Quixotes!

Ol' Matty's sources:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6srPCZhecOY – Lindsay Ellis, “Loose Canon” The Phantom of the Opera Part 1.

https://www.litcharts.com/lit/the-phantom-of-the-opera/characters/erik-the-phantom-of-the-opera-the-ghost-the-voice

http://www.online-literature.com/leroux/

http://www.supersummary.com/the-phantom-of-the-opera/summary/

https://www.gradesaver.com/the-phantom-of-the-opera/study-guide/themes

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2018/03/12/the-poltroon-husband - The Poltroon Husband by Joseph O’Neill

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUamUHcxMVY – Literally the entire 1925 adaptation of The Phantom of the Opera. Public domain, y’all. Get innit.

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#bookreview #bookworm #bookish #bibliophile #booknerd #booklover #bookaddict #literature #readinglist #read #library #reading #author #plot #kindle #stories #books #olmatty #funny #adventure

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thegloober · 6 years

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6 fantastically fun things to do in Orlando without kids. Hey, it’s your vacation too!

With winter breaks coming up, I know lots of our readers will be planning Orlando vacations. Because, family! And…Orlando!

Let me just say, our family is good at vacation. We trained on our first trip to Disney back when I was pregnant, and our sons were four and seven (perfect Disney ages, for the record). It taught us when to go, go, go and when to chill; when to split up for alone time with each kid and when to hang as a group. Thanks to hotel childcare, we even had a date night. (Also a great reason to travel with grandparents or a loving aunt or uncle, by the way.)

Our night out helped us refuel and enjoy the rest of our mostly kid-centered trip making the entire adventure that much more wonderful.

A night in Orlando without the kids is totally worth it

When you have young kids, it really does feel indulgent and wonderful to have great meal, see a show, or just wait in line for a few rides free from snack requests, strollers, and endless rounds of “how much longer?” And having recently spent a little kid-free time in Orlando myself, thanks to the folks from Visit Orlando, it gave me so many idea!

So if you can indulge — and I highly recommend it — here are 6 super cool ideas for kid-free things to do if you’re able to work in a little adult time on an Orlando vacation.

Pro tip: Don’t stay out too late, because you know the kids will want to hit the pool first thing or take advantage of those early-access park hours. Then you’ll be the one who’s tired and grumpy the next day, and we can’t be having that.

Related: 7 smart tips and hotel tricks that make travel with toddlers so much safer and easier

1. When you’re craving some theme park action followed by a bar crawl…

After a day at Universal Orlando with the whole family, grab a sitter through the hotel — they’re vetted and in the experience of our writers here who have used them, pretty terrific. Then head back to the park at night for the attractions you missed, because your kids were too young or too short.

At Disney, Epcot’s Future World and World Showcase stay open until 10 p.m. (9 p.m. on weeknights), while Hollywood Studios and Animal Kingdom close at 8 p.m. — those hours may be even later during peak vacation days.

At Universal Orlando, both Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure close as late as 9 or 10 p.m. on peak weekends, with IoA generally open later than Studios — until 8 p.m., even on a random Tuesday night in October.

So what to ride?

Confession: I love a good movie car chase, and Universal’s new Fast & Furious – Supercharged (above), which puts you on a party bus that suddenly becomes part of a high-speed car chase, is pretty much made for me.

And we know adults love Harry Potter as much as the kids, if not more! So while you’re there, be sure to revisit The Wizarding World of Harry Potter and Hogsmeade, which have a decidedly different vibe at night. Plus, you can take your time to explore all the tiny details you missed with the kids — and even grab a little something stronger than non-alcoholic butterbeer. Plus the Nighttime Lights at Hogswarts are terrific, if you have little ones who can’t make it up for that.

Roller coaster fan? Ride The Incredible Hulk Coaster or Hollywood Rip Ride Rockit at night because, wow.

Then, after the parks close, make your way to Universal CityWalk, where lots of places stay open until 2 a.m. Enjoy hot spots like Pat O’Brien’s, pretty much an exact replica of the bar by the same name in New Orleans. There’s also Bob Marley’s, A Tribute to Freedom which is perfect for grabbing a Red Stripe and hearing some live reggae. If a night of dancing is more up your alley, the multi-room The Groove is such an Orlando hot spot, you’re likely to find more locals than tourists.

(However for the record, I do NOT recommend staying out until 2 a.m. because the kids won’t care how tired you are in the next morning.)

Oh, and if you’re staying at one of the Universal hotels? The water taxi runs until 2:15 a.m. I love a water taxi!

Related: Parents share their most helpful family travel tips and they’re brilliant

2. When you want to catch a show or concert…

No, not every Orlando show features a Disney Princess. Blue Man Group Orlando on Universal CityWalk is as good as the original New York show, or check the concert listings at the Hard Rock Live, a 3000-seat arena featuring major acts.

For something more intimate, the Velvet Sessions at the Hard Rock Hotel hosts groups from The Wallflowers to Joan Jett to Foreigner. You may even be able to nab VIP tickets for a private bar area, or get a meet-and-greet with the band. And bonus for an Orlando night without kids: it’s 21+ meaning no little ones in sight — a nice break from the parks, for sure.

At Disney Springs, House of Blues is always good fun, or spend a night at the gothic-style Edison Live which has tons of cool cabaret style entertainment (more on that below). Either way, it’s unlikely that anyone will be dancing in a mermaid costume.

If you’re a Cirque de Soleil fan, you’ll want to look into Luzia, which is coming to Orlando spring of 2019. So cool!

And there are of course tons of movie screens at both parks, seeing as how they’re both owned by movie studios. Even a night spent holding hands, sharing popcorn, watching something R-rated and not at all animated, can be a delicious break you need to help refuel for the next day.

3. When you want a delicious meal at the parks without having to cut someone else’s food…

If you’re a little nervous about sitters and want to stay close to “home” at night I get it. Fortunately, you have lots of great dining options right at the parks.

Strong Water Tavern at Loews Sapphire Falls has a ceviche bar and can also hook you up with your very own rum specialist for a tasting. Awesome, right?

Compare different rums and learn something — even if it’s just that you really like rum. Or have dinner outside by the lagoon and pretend you’re on a Caribbean vacation.

After you eat, I suggest you take a stroll along the walking paths that lead to the Universal theme parks. Even if you don’t want to visit again, a walk along the water is a great way to relax, especially if you aren’t pushing a stroller or waiting for everyone to catch up.

There are some other top-rated restaurants at both theme parks, including The Palm (Hard Rock Hotel), Bice (Portofino Bay Hotel), California Grill (Disney’s Contemporary Resort), Citrico’s (Grand Floridian Resort), Todd English’s Bluezoo (WDW Dolphin Hotel), and Jiko (Disney’s Animal Kingdom Lodge), which our editor Liz swears is one of the best meals she’s had anywhere.

And she lives in New York City!

Related: 14 sexy at-home date-night ideas for parents…after the kids have gone to bed

4. When you want to shop a little, sip a little, walk a little, eat a little…

For a leisurely night of shopping and strolling and eating, Disney Springs is the place to be. While CityWalk offers similar activities, the shops at Disney Springs may be more your speed, ranging from the souvenir-type shops you’d expect, to shops like Coach, Free People, Havaianas, Kiel’s, and Kate Spade NY.

As for me, I picked up a few souvenirs then took a break at The Boathouse with oysters and an aperitif. Then I did some more walking and popped into Zara (because it wasn’t crowded and I love kid-free shopping!) before enjoying a multi-course Italian feast at Maria & Enzo’s Ristorante.

Tip: If you’re having a kid-free night, you can skip the carefully crafted Disney backstory about the restaurant and just savor the linguini and clams which are darned authentic, not too expensive, and totally worth getting a sitter and making a reservation.

If you aren’t ready to call it a night, head to The Edison for a fancy cocktail. They also offer a late-night menu with fun dishes like a “Bacon Clothesline.” After 10 p.m. the Edison is just for the 21 and up crowd, and you might find live musicians, flapper-style dancers, aerialists or a DJ for dancing. Maybe all of the above.

Pro tip: Schedule a Disney character breakfast for the morning after, so you can bury your face in coffee while the kids are entertained by Goofy and Donald Duck.

Related: Pro tips for saving a ton of money on family travel

5. When you want to nerd out on nature, theme park style…

Okay, so it’s not quite the Audobon Center in Maitland or the Harry P. Leu Botanical Gardens (and those are cool too), but we are talking a theme park vacation here.

So.

Have you even been to Disney’s Animal Kingdom since they opened Pandora – The World of Avatar? I don’t care if you aren’t a fan of the cult favorite movie. Pandora is just soooo very cool!

(Besides, the next four installments of Avatar will be released starting in 2020, so start getting pumped.)

Stay until sunset and you’ll get to see bioluminescent plants and walkways powered by daytime sunlight. Bonus activity: Guess which plants are real and which were created by Disney. In many cases, if a particular plant won’t grow in the region, they find a lookalike that does grow there to take its place. If you’re a plant lover and you have time for a VIP tour, ask lots of questions. You’ll definitely learn some new trivia.

As far as rides, take a spin on Avatar Flight of Passage – trust me, you’ll want to talk yourself into it even if you’re scared, like I was. (You’re not technically moving very far, and it’s all special effects and 3-D glasses, but still.) I sure was glad I went for it.

Flying over this moon on the back of a mountain banshee – even if you really aren’t – is exhilarating. I even cried a little. Not because I was scared, just because it was so beautiful.

For a peaceful boat excursion through a bioluminescent rainforest and a little hand-holding with your sweetheart, try the Na’vi River Journey.

6. When you just want to get out of the parks for a night…

When you need a break from movies, characters, and branded everything, if you can swing the ride off the property and you have a trusted caregiver with the kiddos, it’s so worth it to explore the rest of Orlando. It’s easy to forget there’s a whole city out there! And there are tons of fabulous Orlando restaurants in every price range, featuring every cuisine, for a fun, adults-only Orlando date night.

There’s steak, there’s Mexican, there’s Italian, there’s seafood, there’s barbecue.

As for me, my pick is Dragonfly Robata, a short drive from Universal Orlando and a slightly longer drive from Disney World. Might I recommend the Smokey Dragon Roll? Salmon, snow crab, tempura flakes, cucumber, avocado, torched tuna, lemon zest, kobachi, and eel sauce. Enough said.

I also know they make an excellent French 75, if that’s your thing. (It’s definitely mine.)

Thanks to the team from Visit Orlando for hosting me on a press trip, and covering my flight and some of my expenses. I was so happy to see how much more there is to do in Orlando since I was last there with my kids!

Source: https://bloghyped.com/6-fantastically-fun-things-to-do-in-orlando-without-kids-hey-its-your-vacation-too/

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poppunkdubstep · 7 years

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My chansoo rec list

If you’ll be my strawberry bubblegum: http://archiveofourown.org/works/910817 word count: 9645 Rating: PG13 Summary: Chanyeol is really bad at kissing so he asks Kyungsoo to teach him how to. My thoughts: A very cute, funny and lighthearted fic which was really fun to read.

Good company is hard to find: http://animalstyleu.livejournal.com/4125.html Word count: 2k Rating: PG13 Summary: Chanyeol thinks a day spent with his husband is a pretty good one. My thoughts: A really wholesome fic about married chansoo. Nice to read when your looking for a fic to make you feel happy.

This must be how it feels: http://archiveofourown.org/works/6449050 Word count: 13941 Rating: General Summary: Chanyeol has come to expect this kind of life, the one of the unwanted hybrid. Then comes Do Kyungsoo. My thoughts: A really touching and emotional fic with believable conflicts, great character interactions and relationship development and a happy ending.

5 minute bagel runs: http://ilkhjoong.livejournal.com/20590.html Word count: 7,400 Rating: PG13 Summary: In which kyungsoo is a mute, reclusive, stay-at-home editor. Enter park chanyeol, professional gamer, holder of many odd world records. My thoughts: A beautiful with beautiful characterisation. It gets a little bit sad but it has an amazing ending.

Press Start to Play: http://allhandson-deck.livejournal.com/35851.html Word count: 120K Rating: R for violence Summary: Chanyeol wakes up in the fictional futuristic world from the video game he just bought, Paran, and is told by his moody new guide that he has to battle hordes of robots and an evil dictator to beat the game. His life just gets crazier and more unbelievable from there. My thoughts: Honestly one of the best Chansoo fics I’ve ever read EVER. It’s loongbut holy shit is it worth it. The writing is amazing, the characters are well written, the plot is well thought out. It’s suspenseful and emotional and entertaning from begining to end. Okay I’ll shut up now but I really love this fic.

Fireheart: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8998195/chapters/20547958?view_adult=true Word count: 46490 Rating: Explicit Summary: Chanyeol failed his final Academy Exam and now has to work as a sidekick for the famous superhero D.O. (Wherein Chanyeol constantly has an identity crisis.) My thoughts: OMG THIS FIC- It is so emotional amd intense it fucked me up man but like in the best kind of way. There’s a period in the fic where everything is going wrong but man the ending so worth it. I love the universe the fic is set in and there are some really funny moments in the fic too. side not: definitely made me sob so be warned.

Rich: http://anita-dee.livejournal.com/17207.html Word count: 1,690 Rating: PG Summary: Kyungsoo likes his men the same way he likes his food: rich. My thoughts: Just a short, cute and unique fic.

Cut to the chase: http://loveismix.livejournal.com/2708.html Word count: 4971 Rating: PG13 Summary: Chanyeol doesn’t think twice about being in a fake online gay relationship—until his “boyfriend” decides to transfer to his school. My thoughts: A really cute and funny fic.

So close: http://loveismix.livejournal.com/6417.html Word count: 2353 Rating: PG Summary: Kyungsoo moves to Seoul with all sorts of expectations: that Hongik University will be the school of his dreams, that he’ll figure out what he wants to do with his life, that he’ll have his goofy, charming boyfriend by his side — but instead, he finds himself pretending like he doesn’t realize his boyfriend isn’t actually in love with him, and that his expectations can never match up to the reality. My thoughts: A much sadder version of the first fic through Kyunsoo’s eyes. However it’s hard to be too upset when you know how the story ends.

Summer Fling, Don’t mean a thing: http://archiveofourown.org/works/3327314/chapters/7273250 Word count: 23422 Rating: Explicit Summary: Snapshots from a summer on the road. Kyungsoo keeps kissing Chanyeol and Chanyeol’s not sure what that means, but he knows he likes it. A lot. My thoughts: A really interesting, uniquely formated story. It has a lot of funny moments but it also has a lot of not so happy moments. Probably won’t make you sob but there are definitely moments that will make your heart clench.

Daddy,Daddy: http://archiveofourown.org/works/7580932/chapters/17248537 Word count: 1013 Rating: General Summary: Park Chanyeol gets a day off and spends it inside the house, playing with his son. My thoughts: A cute and completely platonic fic about Chanyeol spending the day with his son Kyungsoo. Quite a unique fic and not one I think I’ve ever seen before but I enjoyed it greatly.

Too long since I’ve been a fool: http://archiveofourown.org/works/8208775 Word count: 18215 Rating: PG13 Summary: Chanyeol feels something weird and funny in his stomach whenever he sees Kyungsoo with another guy. Chanyeol convinces himself that it’s nothing and dismisses the fact that he may be catching feelings for his flatmate. My thoughts: Chanyeol is a real dummy in this fic and does some stupid stuff but it has a happy ending and only made me sob a little bit both times that I’ve read it so far.

58 bpm: http://archiveofourown.org/works/5311937?view_adult=true Word count: 17946 Rating: Explicit Summary: It was one stupid moment, right after they’d gotten back out on the road for their fall tour a few weeks ago. One stupid moment in a series of stupid moments that have been happening for years. Each time it’s over, they make the same promise—a one time thing, it can’t happen again, it won’t happen again. But they keep falling into each other like this.

And now—

“So… we’re having a kid." My thoughts: It’s quite an emotional fic, there’s a lot of different conflicts all happening at once but it does have a happy ending and it’s cute moments.

Jericho: http://archiveofourown.org/works/5734057 Word count: 2632 Rating: Mature Summary: It’s not a fancy, formal ceremony, but that doesn’t mean they’re any less married now.

set ~7 months after 58 bpm. My thoughts: A really cute fic about Chansoo’s marriage and them taking care of their son.

And time yet for a hundred indicisions: http://archiveofourown.org/works/1581788/chapters/3360065 Word count: 21611 Rating: Explicit Summary: Chanyeol wakes up and finds himself in an alternate universe where he’s married to Kyungsoo – except that he’s never met the man before in his life, and he is absolutely, positively, 100% sure that he is straight. Until now. My thoughts: Not gonna lie I went into this expecting a happy and light hearted fic and instead had my heart ripped in half, stepped on and set on fire but holy shit was the ride worth it. I sobbed so fucking much during this fic but the writing is amazing and the story is really interesting.

Where souls brimful of love abide and meet: http://archiveofourown.org/works/3243134/chapters/7066541 Word count: 36305 Rating: Explicit Summary: How Park Chanyeol met Do Kyungsoo, fought a lot, became friends, fell in love, and got married. Prequel to ‘and time yet for a hundred indecisions’. A domestic AU. My thoughts: The fun part of the au though keep an eye because there were some nood backs to the original that had me almost crying again.

(Un)Happy feet: http://onemorechansoo.livejournal.com/12649.html Word count: 3,996 Rating: PG Summary: The universe is having a joke at Kyungsoo’s expense or alternatively Kyungsoo turns into a penguin. My thoughts: A really cute and funny fic

When a penguin meets a giraffe: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/861348/when-a-penguin-meets-a-giraffe-fluff-romance-chansoo-exo-hunhan-animalau-chinguline Word count: 7616 Rating: PG Summary: Kyungsoo is a curious penguin and he wonders a lot about his feeling for his friend Chanyeol, the giraffe. My thoughts: A realy cute fic. It’s really interesting how the author wrote them as animals so convincingly and the story is simple but fun.

Let me forget about today until tomorrow: http://archiveofourown.org/works/7965775 Word count: 30183 Rating: Mature Summary: The war is over, leaving Chanyeol to search for redemption. He can’t go back. At the same time Kyungsoo can’t go forward. My thoughts: Boy did this fic make me sob. Every single character in the fic is written amazingly, the plot of the story flows really well and the relationships between the characters are great. It’s a pretty slow burn fic but the build up of Chanyeol and Kyunsoo’s relationship is brilliant.

The good soldier: http://archiveofourown.org/works/3729244?view_adult=true Word count: 19346 Rating: Explicit Summary: The slide from ‘Lieutenant Do and Sergeant Park�� to ‘Kyungsoo and Chanyeol’ is a slow, spiralling course.

A post Korean War AU, where Kyungsoo was Chanyeol’s respected lieutenant during the war, but has fallen into the traps of PTSD when he returns to civilian life. When Chanyeol arrives unexpectedly at Lieutenant Do’s doorstep after a year of separation, the man he once knew is gone, only to be replaced by a lifeless shell. Not to mention that Kyungsoo is recovering from a failed arranged marriage, with a newborn son under his care. Chanyeol convinces himself that it is his duty as Kyungsoo’s former Sergeant to stay and help. Except that it may lead to something more. My thoughts: Another fic that got me really emotional. Another slow burn fic but agan the build up and development in their relationship is amazing. Also made me sob.

No Cigarette Bites: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11795292 Word count: 31049 Rating: PG13 Summary: Chanyeol had lost so much in the post-apocalypse- his friends, his career, himself. When Do Kyungsoo came along, he expected nothing, but instead Kyungsoo gave him everything. My thoughts: Oh boy if the last two fics made me sob this one had me wailing and that’s no exaggeration. I was crying on and off throughout the fic and I cried retty much non stop towards the end of the fic. Really well written, the plot is haunting and extremely gritty. It has a beautiful ending though and the characters in this are amazing.

Distance: http://takostation.livejournal.com/5475.html Word count: 7790 Rating: PG13 (language) Summary: Kyungsoo meets a handsome stranger from California, finding his way through a language barrier and eventually his feelings. My thoughts: OMG this fic is literally the cutest like smol boys trying to communicate and understand each other and Kyungsoo is such a shy and blushy boy I love.

Walk with me: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4812683 Word count: 27821 Rating: Explicit Summary: Kyungsoo left the military’s extraction programme just months before dream sharing is legalised in South Korea. Two years later, Kyungsoo is a freelancer working exclusively with charities. One day, he meets Chanyeol in a dream. This happens over and over again.

Until it doesn’t. My thoughts: Yet another fic that had me sobbing my eyes out. A really unique and well written story the plot is really interesting and engaging and emotional.

I’ll love you right: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4082851 Word count: 14560 Rating: Explicit Summary: A rival gang, Kalvosa, has sent an extremely lethal psychopathic killer to assassinate Kyungsoo. But as the heir to one of the most prominent mafia groups in the country, Kyungsoo did not go through 22 years of painful training just to be murdered in his own bedroom. He’s going to make Kalvosa regret this so much by taking away one of their most valued assets. If only this asset is a little more cooperative, like if it can stop trying to kill Kyungsoo every five minutes, or actually talk to him for a change. My thoughts: A very interesitng story, quite violent so probably not for everyone. I’d probably read with caution.

Best in the show: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8222929 Word count: 12302 Rating: Explicit Summary: Kyungsoo is a Maltese canine hybrid, a show hybrid ready to take the top spot at the most important competition of the year. Enter a new breed, with a very tall, handsome representative. Chaos ensues. And knotting. Cause that is important. My thoughts: A cute and fun fic in where Chanyeol is extremely clumsy and Kyunsoo is an idiot when it comes to his feelings about Chanyeol.

I want you to want me: http://kittybank.livejournal.com/34514.html Word count: 43,000 Rating: NC-17 Summary: Chanyeol has always thought he’s going to be an alpha. His results say otherwise. My thoughts: Chanyeol is little fucking shit at the biginning of the fic but he gets better. End goal is chansoo but Chnayeol dates amny many many people in this fic. However the fic is a great journey of Chanyeol learning to accept and love himself.

War is a drug: http://archiveofourown.org/works/7305073 Word count: 10815 Rating: Explicit Summary: After an unforeseen tragedy, Chanyeol and Kyungsoo’s relationship takes a sharp turn. A Korean War AU that no one has asked for. My thoughts: Starts off quite sad but the ending is good and the characters are really good.

Watch me fall: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4931620?view_adult=true Word count: 9299 Rating: Explicit Summary: Kyungsoo likes to watch a camboy called Chanyeol. My thoughts: A cute fic, Kyungsoo is a bit hot headed and protective when it come to Chanyeol and Chanyeol is just a small boy really.

Do you know them to be worthy?: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9938078?view_adult=true Word count: 10569 Rating: Explicit Summary: Father Kyungsoo gave his life to his parish, never thinking that the demons of ancient times could exist, and certainly never thinking that one would target him for his most secret sin. My thoughts: Oh boy I’m pretty reading this fic has sent me straight to hell *sweats nervously* There’s no way God would want me to be reading any of this. Not too dark but there are certain parts that could be distressing. A ‘happy’ ending depending on who ask, though personally I thought it wasa good ending.

Rest in pieces, peace of mind: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9539123 Word count: 8133 Rating: Explicit Summary: Chanyeol discovers a new motivation to go to church. My thoughts: The other reason I’m going to hell. Could be quite a distressing story so I definitely recommend you proceed with caution and read the tags and warnings. Apart from that it’s a really well written story that I love and the ending make me choke.

Hold me close, Hold me fast: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11170542?view_adult=true Word count: 2134 Rating: Explicit Summary: Chanyeol just wants to study but Kyungsoo has other activities in mind. My thoughts: Just some simple and playful smut, what’s not to love? lol

#i'm sorry this tookso long #i hope you can enjoy the fics though #love you <3 #you know who you are ;)#sorry for any typos or mistakes lol #if there are any errors pls let me know though ;;;#chansoo #fic rec #rec list #lol the formating doesn't really work on phone rip

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