#and it so often goes unrecognized

[merry-harlowe]

I love thinking about just how many foods & crops originated in the americas. Our ancestors gave us corn, potatoes, sweet potatoes, beans, squash, chili & bell peppers, tomatoes, cacao, peanuts, avocados, blueberries, pineapples, vanilla, amaranth, cassava, chia, papaya, quinoa, sunflowers, tomatillos, guava, passion fruit, dragon fruit, strawberries, cranberries, concord grapes, cashews, pecans, agave, and more like. In every meal I enjoy the labor and love of hundreds of generations of indigenous Americans

#theo rambles #this is something I think about so much #like what did Europeans even *eat* before they came and extracted our resources #our foods have shaped so much of the rest of the worlds cuisine #and it so often goes unrecognized #so heres to the ancestors <3 #edit: this isnt even counting traditional foods that settlers dont eat!!

[squishe]

i'm sooo sick of trying so hard at work and getting nothing. people are so rude to me for no reason. i am literally just trying my best to do what i'm paid to do. our metrics look like shit and i feel like its 100% my fault even though its not. i just. am so tired of trying and trying and trying and never being able to meet our goals. i just want to hit bonus for once and not kill myself in the process

#our sales associates often resent getting constructive feedback #and it's hard for me to have a conversation like that with them because of it #so i keep seeing behaviors that are causing our numbers to go down #over and over and over #and it feels like everythings falling apart #and maybe im just catastrophizing and having an anxiety attack? #but god #i'm so tired #i feel like my hard work goes unrecognized most of the time #i feel unseen #i put myself in so much pain #push myself past my limits #and hardly get any recognition #idk i #am starting to hate my job #i miss my old team so much #vent

[unforth]

Gentle reminder that very little fandom labor is automated, because I think people forget that a lot.

That blog with a tagging system you love? A person curates those tags by hand.

That rec blog with a great organization scheme and pretty graphics? Someone designed and implemented that organization scheme and made those graphics.

That network that posts a cool variety of stuff? People track down all that variety and queue it by hand, and other people made all the individual pieces.

That post with umpteen links to helpful resources, and information about them? Someone gathered those links, researched the sources, wrote up the information about them.

That graphic about fandom statistics? Someone compiled those statistics, analyzed them, organized them, figured out a useful way to convey the information to others, and made the post.

That event that you think looks neat? Someone wrote the rules, created the blogs and Discords, designed the graphics, did their best to promo the event so it'd succeed.

None of this was done automatically. None of it just appears whole out of the internet ether.

I think everyone realizes that fic writing and fanart creation are work, and at least some folks have got it through their heads that gif creation and graphics and moodboards take effort, and meta is usually respected for the effort that goes into it, at least as far as I've seen, but I feel like a lot of people don't really get how much labor goes into curation, too.

If people are creating resources, curating content, organizing the creations of others, gathering information, and doing other fandom activities that aren't necessarily the direct action of creation, they're doing a lot of fandom labor, and it's often largely unrecognized.

Celebrate fan work!

To folks doing this kind of labor: I see you, and I thank you. You are the backbones of our fandoms and I love you.

#unforth rambles #this wasn't really prompted by anything #I'm just sick and tired and distractable #or i should say it wasn't prompted by anything recent or that happened now #like no one has disrespected me #but as i hit the point that it's regularly taking me an hour plus every single day to queue things for the danmei art blogs #i just think of all the times people go WAIT YOU RUN ALL OF THOSE??? BY YOURSELF??? #like i just don't think a lot of people realize how much work it is to really do background fandom labor long term #and i appreciate places like rec blogs and networks and events and just everyone #y'all are awesome #thank you so much

[daincrediblegg]

no you know what I'm going to scream about the stuff I talked about in the tags of this post publicly

I'm tired of the well-meaning "don't feel bad if your work only gets 20 notes your genius is what counts and do it for you!" bullshit. I've had a good handful of friends who have straight up DEACTIVATED in recent months because their work was not getting reblogged AT ALL. No, it wasn't from lack of not being well-liked, no it wasn't from lack of trying to make sure it was getting out there to the people they knew would engage with it. It was because no matter how much they were praised privately for their work, when push came to shove, absolutely NOBODY reblogged it and gave it the audience that it was due, and I'm tired of people shoving the "unsung genius" narrative as an excuse for it. Nothing excuses that. And the boop event really proved that.

because I know given the opportunity, indiscriminately pressing a button (sometimes 10 thousand times, as I did) is not beyond this website's capability. y'all loved doing that. and look at what it wrought. nothing but love and affection and happiness. just from a couple of quick clicks of a little paw button. sure. nobody knew who you booped but the other person (which is how likes used to work on this website, btw). there was an element of anonymity to it. but that is kind of the core of this website that no other social media platform still has: the ability to be anonymous. and hyper-curating a blog on here like you might on twitter or instagram to project an image is simply not viable. and hey. you wanna know a secret: literally nobody cares what you post or whether it goes with the "theme" of your blog or not. yeah. I know. CRAZY concept in this day and age. but literally. I myself have reblogged things that have had nothing to do with whatever I am currently fixated by and you know what happened to my follower count? not a damn thing. in fact, I actively try to reblog things specifically BECAUSE it's my friends who made them (even though I'm not always good at KEEPING UP WITH HOW MUCH THEY POST @prismatica-the-strange will NEVER GO UNRECOGNIZED by me).

And you know what fucking sucks? I have to deal with this too. surprise right? you ever wonder why I reblog fics or art I post like 20 times the day that I post them? do you ever wonder why I ask about tag lists and beg for asks all the time? IT'S BECAUSE EVEN I GET LIKE. 5 LIKES ON THE THINGS I POST. AND THE REST OF THE REBLOGS ARE MINE SO I CAN MAKE SURE THAT PEOPLE WHO WANT TO SEE WHAT I MAKE GET TO SEE IT. and I say that knowing that I'm certainly not an unpopular blog, or an unpopular writer. I know that people love the stories that I create. Hell, half of the people that I've talked to about lady terror have told me that they consider her to be canon (AND EVEN SOME!! THOUGHT SHE WAS!!! WITHOUT EVEN HAVING WATCHED THE SHOW! WHICH IS STILL SO SO WILD TO ME!!!) But especially in the last 4 years (which really dates this phenomenon), my posts, no matter how well received they've been amongst people I've talked to about them directly, I still go into the notes and at least half (often more than half) are MY reblogs to make sure people saw what I posted. and it happens every single time, and I can't tell you how much it crushes me considering that it used to be that I would be able to post it only once, and people would reblog it sometimes even HUNDREDS of times.

It's not about popularity. it never has been. it's not about anxiety. or shifting website cultures. even if you lurk, the simple fact is, that if you want people to keep making what you love. you have to reblog. your theme won't suffer because you reblogged a fanfiction that you really admire. your posting won't be ruined because you reblogged some fanart from someone in a different fandom. really. I promise. and if people do unfollow you for that? who needs em. followers come and go but you should NEVER have to cater to them. on this website it has ALWAYS been the other way around. lean into it. make it yours. put stuff you ACTUALLY WANT to be seen and that you love and appreciate on your blog. no matter how old it is, how new it is, no matter how niche or off-theme it is.

so please. if you really want to show your appreciation for someone's work? you reblog. it's really as easy as that. check the tags. add some when you reblog if you like. but please for the love of god reblog. it's as easy as booping and even more rewarding for the people who you reblog from. if you want to let someone know that their work is genius and appreciate it? show it. reblog. then DM them if you're too nervous to say what you want to say but not in a public forum. but for christ's sake. REBLOG.

#fanfiction #fanart #reblogging #boop

[batfamhyperfixation]

5 Robins as scooby gang cause both groups are 5 detectives not blood related but with a found family bond who fight off bad guys in costumes cause the police around them are incompetent

Dick: Fred, the leader, as dick was the first robin and is therefore the leader, also if I remember right, Fred canonically went to a circus camp in big top scooby doo and loves the circus

Jason: Daphne, early daphne was a damsel in distress type who always got captured by villains and later adaptations tried to change that like the live action movies with Sarah Michelle Gellar made her the ‘muscle’, one point she drives a motorcycle doing stunts as her circus act, and they make her one who is resourceful/always has the right items which kinda sums up Jason’s character from robin to red hood

Tim: Velma, the smart one and best detective of the group, Tim is the one who both deduced who Batman and Robin were and stole the title of worlds greatest detective from Bruce

Steph: Shaggy, shaggy is usually the one who encounters the monster first along with Scooby, and it is then that interaction that leads them to finding the monster, thus allowing a chase scene (a confrontation) and the monster being caught; in a similar way, Steph found out her fathers plan and led others to him for a confrontation and a capture scene, making her, like shaggy, fundamental to the location and capturing of the bad guy, not to mention, then her father returned so she refaced her father by choice in order to get him captured like shaggy refaces the monsters to catch them, being used as bait; also often the courage of both goes seriously unrecognized by most people and their overall importance is often underrated, both being seen as the ‘most expendable’ and often undervalued

Damian: Scooby, yes Damian isn’t really scared of the villains, but he is, just like Scooby, much shorter than the rest of them I’m kidding that’s not my argument, Scooby and shaggy are usually seen as most courageous because they go face the monster head on as bait willingly so although at first they seem like cowards, Scooby, like Damian, could actually arguably be deemed courageous. Despite it not really being talked about a lot, talia inorganically sped up Damian’s aging, so like Damian is literally living similar to the ‘dogs age faster than they really are in human years’, and he also is shown as the most skilled at the youngest age (making him particularly extraordinary) so I feel like it’s not a stretch to make him the most extraordinary character out of the gang (literally a dog who can talk, can’t get more extraordinary than that)

#someone should make fanart #these parallels could be fun #make the robins the Scooby gang #let them be researching a case and recreate the famous Scooby pose of them all huddled around the book #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #stephanie brown #damian wayne #dc robin #all of them

[apple-spider-vinegar]

Something I feel often goes unrecognized in discussion of Harry Osborn is the fact that he is the Only Child of a Single Parent.

In my experience/observation (both real and fictional) the only child/single parent bond is so inexorable it's hard to fully comprehend. Few other things will bind two people together in such a way.

Like many familial relationships, it's full of a thousand little hurts that will probably never get brought up again. Sometimes you let the relationship go by the wayside in pursuit of your own life goals because you take it for granted that family will always be around. But there's a unique flavor to it.

Deep down inside you there's an awareness that it's Just The Two Of You. For the child, it may have been just the two of you from your very earliest memories. Sure, you know other people. There are extended family and friends and maybe the parent has a romantic partner or two. But at the end of the day, in your home, in your hearts (something you carry with you no matter where you go) the two of you are all you have and all you feel you can really depend on.

A world in which the two of you aren't together is almost impossible to picture and you don't want to try, even in the moments you wish you could just get away from each other. Being an only child separated from a single parent for the first time ‐ even on normal and amicable terms like when you move out on your own - makes you realize, again and again, how many ways your parent has influenced you. The things you say that you heard from them first, the habits, the opinions. You love them, but sometimes it feels like they still... OWN you, even though you are your own person. Sometimes that frightens you, but the alternative is even more frightening.

Like all love, it'll make you behave selfishly and irrationally at times.

And it'll really make you DEFENSIVE.

If you're Harry Osborn and complain a bit about your dad being a dickhead while deep down wondering if he really even cares about you, that's one thing. But if anyone says a word against him in your presence you have to backtrack. You have to argue in his defense because he's all you have and you're all he has. Loss would unbearable.

Look, guys. It has been years since Harry and Norman Osborn have gotten along or been able to really enjoy each other's company, if they ever could. But if anything happened to the other they would kill everyone in this room and then themselves, do you understand what I'm saying?

#i've seen comic panels where norman is on the verge of going back to being the goblin #and he's thinking 'i must be going mad but if something bad happens to me who will look after harry' #my brother in christ YOU are the bad thing that is happening to him #also when is someone going to draw the osborns with the 'i just wish you liked me' scene from ladybird #it should be noted my analysis is mostly based on the raimiverse but i don't think that's missing the whole picture #i think this may apply to most harrys to some degree #even the '94 cartoon had this to some extent though it was more from norman's side... wish that show cared about harry #kinda feel like i exorcised a demon making this post #hope it opens some eyes to this aspect of the character #harry osborn #norman osborn #green goblin #spider-man #raimiverse #op

[yrotic11]

A redditor asked:

VIRGO VENUS

Virgo Venus/6th house Venus too(as it’s also considered a place of detriment for Venus) , it’s an endearing placement to have in our real world in my opinion. When healthy, these people stand on their boundaries, they recognize more than most, the world is a dirty place when it comes to the love hemisphere but if they’re not careful can turn into them being picky and micromanaging , they do it out of love but they may not be able to see how suffocating it may feel to the receiving end of the party.

Because of their painful understanding of the world we live in they are not wooed by mere romantic sweet words of nothingness. These people want to see action be put in. Promises being valued, respected and held* up to. It’s an earth sign energy after all that also rules the day to day life.

They value CONSISTENCY. and they can get real groggy with you if they witness you not making an earnest effort because often this Venus takes on the role of giving and caring not just spiritually but physically. These type of virgoean Venus’ practice what they preach so the things they require in their relationship they so gladly will do for you no questions asked. Taking on the burdens of everyday life for you so your existence on earth for the days you are with them feels just a little sweeter. It’s on the axis of Pisces/12th house so there’s bound to be some self sacrificing element here.

The less mature ones might be stingy in their love sharing because of fear of being taken advantage of as this is often a reoccurring theme for this placement. Virgoean type of self sacrificing is far more unstabling tho, as it’s completely in the realms of the mundane.

Because of their style of sacrifice and then the harsh reality of the world around us, they’re forced to create boundaries for themselves which makes their standards high and often their rosters small because no one seems to quite live up to their wants and needs.

This can cause them to turn to superficiality because they’re human and still yearn for affection ,,and it hurts. they can see that others view them as too needy so to cope with this they may in-fact start doing the opposite instead of looking for internal character development in a partner , they focus entirely on physical appearance.

I see it more with men having their Venus in Virgo ,though. And they’re miserable yet, can seem to be honest enough with themselves to acknowledge what the real problem is😭some of the men might have strange obsessions with purity and might even perpetuate purity culture ideation unless Lilith is there or something which can either make it completely worse or pipe it down a good bit.

When/if they become completely tired of their back and forth with sacrifice they may just give up and just give the love they crave to themselves and allow it to overflow first from themselves, and let it overflow to you or whoever is receiving them.

OR they can be a miserable piece a pooh, making others miserable and traumatized in the process. However, eventually some may even completely reject the idea of dating or getting married to protect their peace this is often the more healed party, they don’t wanna participate/continue in perpetuations of manipulation that comes with the dating scene so they just remove themselves and watch from a distance. In the flesh they’re often a blessing gone sourly unrecognized. they want to work to accomplish your needs, they yearn for that in return; they don’t get it. Sad love story, very misunderstood set of people.

Also in relationships the people receiving the Virgo/6h Venus might not even be able to see their love language style/or even care to learn this Venus’s love style because the love they give does not include/ or care for the games and the dance of love interlock manipulation. Their love is a simple and a scornfully real type of love. So intertwined with the normalities of the mundane that..it goes unnoticed. That’s my own personal perspective what I’ve seen and witnessed.

#virgo venus #venus in virgo #virgo #6th house #astrological houses #astrology signs #astrological observations #astrological aspects #astrological signs #astrology #astrological transits #astrologist

[kyouka-supremacy]

sskk hc of the day by yours truly (beast sskk hc anon): Akutagawa, despite developing a better sleep schedule and getting more sleep with Atsushi’s presence next to him, his body, from years of barely any sleep and hyper vigilance, has a habit of waking him up at the early hours of the morning. He often gets startled awake—either by feeling something or hearing and immediately feeling alarmed—but he’s so tired and barely comprehending that it leads to some really funny moments.

Like for example he often forgets that he shares a bed with Atsushi at night. He also forgets he’s married (yes, married!). So sometimes it’s just

Akutagawa, immediately sitting up from the bed, panicked: [to the dark room, not seei my anything]: whose there?!

Atsushi, who goes through this event 4 times a week: [slapping his arm against the lamp switch]: mmm…maybe. Maybe it’s. Your fucking husband.

Akutagawa, momentarily fully forgetting the like, past 5 years or so: Were-tiger?!? In my room??!?

Atsushi: OUR room

Akutagawa:

Atsushi:

Akutagawa: what

Atsushi: we’re married.

Akutagawa:

Atsushi: we’re—

Akutagawa: [stare of disbelief]

Atsushi: — oh for fucks sake [pulling akutagawa back under the covers] Go BACK to sleep

Akutagawa: [fighting sleep] no

Atsushi: You can threaten to turn me into a tiger rug in the morning, or something

Akutagawa, going still:

Akutagawa, comprehending the idea of threatening Atsushi in the morning: …hm [passes out]

This is also the same case for beast universe, except it’s more like

Beast! Akutagawa, waking up, completely disoriented, barely able to form words except for grab at Atsushi: who?

Beast! Atsushi: your husband

Beast! Akutagawa: [squinting at him real long and hard, unrecognizing]

Beast! Akutagawa: what????

Beast! Akutagawa: [goes back to sleep without waiting for an answer]

Beast! Atsushi: [trying not to laugh and wake him up again]

This is. hilarious and 100% accurate thank you so much for your gems Beast Anon I owe you my life. I just adore how Beast sskk is exactly like canon sskk, just made softer. That's everything Beast sskk is about, you got it all.

#I've been laughing forever. I keep your messages in my inbox and read them again and again a thousand times #Maybe it's. Your fucking husband. #ryūnosuke akutagawa #atsushi nakajima #sskk #shin soukoku #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd beast #bsd headcanons #people asks me stuff #beast anon #fave

[bettsfic]

Ohh any thoughts or notes on their eyes were watching god? It's one of my very very favorite books!

their eyes were watching god is one of those books that reminds you that genius is a real thing, and that real genius often goes unrecognized during the lifetime of the artist. creativity is always walking the fine line between the familiar and the unknown, and the closer to the unknown your work is, the harder it is to find an audience. that's why the work of criticism is so important i think--critics are people who seek out newness and bring it to an audience. what brought me to hurston was alice walker's essay "in search of zora" which is imo one of the greatest essays ever written.

here's the end of it:

every time i read this it gives me chills. it's amazing to me how many great artists are buried in weeds. van gogh was so loathed in auvers that theo couldn't get anyone to approve a place to bury him.

it's so intensely tragic. i really get what walker means by grief feeling absurd.

since i read their eyes were watching god for funsies i don't have many critical thoughts about it. i love that it's an odyssey. i think it's a masterwork of voice and style. i admire the use of frame narrative. janie and tea cake are such iconic characters. there's just so much to learn from it in terms of craft, and i hope one day i get to teach it in an intermediate or advanced fiction class.

i'd love to hear your thoughts on it as well! i'm especially interested to hear what makes it one of your favorites?

#their eyes were watching god #book recs

[zodiactalks]

Zodiac Signs Ranked from Most to Least NARCISSISTIC

Let's be honest: Everyone is always looking out for themselves.

This, of course, doesn't mean that we don't care about other people, but it does mean that we all have some degree of selfishness in our hearts.

Of course, some people are way more selfish than others, which is why today we're ranking Zodiac signs from most to least narcissistic.

#1. Taurus

Though they prefer to keep it under wraps, Taurus is one of the most narcissistic signs in the Zodiac, as they genuinely believe they're the best at...well, everything they do.

Taureans operate under the assumption that they are in the right and their actions are always the most logical, which means they often see others as being in the wrong and making illogical choices.

The worst thing about all this? Bulls don't even realize they do this.

#2. Scorpio

Scorpio's darker aspects are well known, though most people don't realize that on top of those, Scorpios are also very narcissistic.

This is, in no small part, because Scorpio's innate narcissism tends to come out only under very specific circumstances:

Scorpio's narcissism comes alive when someone wrongs them. They genuinely don't understand how someone had the audacity of challenging them or betraying them, and because of that, whoever did it deserves to be punished.

#3. Leo

No one is surprised to find Leo so high on this list, as Leo's defining trait is their pride and narcissism.

They enjoy being under the spotlight and aren't afraid of doing what it takes to achieve their dreams, even if that means burning a lot of bridges in the process.

The reason Leo's aren't at the top of this list is simply that many Leo's are fully aware that they're not the best at everything, but that only means they're willing to work as hard as it takes to take over the limelight.

#4. Aquarius

Aquarius's independence and narcissism go hand in hand. They don't think they're better or more important than others, but they're certainly unafraid of putting their desires and wants before other people's.

They're the kind of people who will accept help to get where they want to be, then pretend they achieved everything on their own even when they know they're lying.

#5. Virgo

Virgo believes they have all the answers and that they're unrecognized geniuses who could improve the world if people just stopped to listen to them.

They also make this known repeatedly and without remorse, shoving their preferences and opinions down people's throats and getting upset if they don't like it.

#6. Aries

Though Aries has a reputation for being Narcissistic, that couldn't be farther from the truth.

Aries knows damn well the world doesn't revolve around them, knows they can make mistakes, knows others are better than them at plenty of things and know they're just as human and fallible as everyone else.

The catch? They couldn't care less about it. They'll do what they want to do, and to hell with everyone else.

#7. Sagittarius

Sagittarians are very similar to Aries in the sense that they're more self-absorbed than narcissistic.

Sagittarians prefer to look inwards and often forget about the world outside them, which means they often say things or make choices that hurt others without meaning to.

Of course, the sympathy goes out of the window when you realize that, if Sagittarius got the results they wanted, they don't care about who they hurt in the process.

#8. Cancer

Cancers are entirely too empathetic to be narcissistic, but that doesn't mean they can't be clingy and overbearing.

While they wouldn't take advantage or exploit those who they love, they're still perfectly willing to try to control them, to be overdependent, and to generally put their emotional needs ahead of other's desire for space and independence.

It's not narcissism, but it sure can feel like it.

#9. Gemini

Geminis are too scatterbrained and indecisive to truly be narcissistic.

After all, how are you supposed to put your needs and wants above everyone else's when you don't even know what you need and want?

Of course, this indecisiveness does betray a rather selfish quality of them, which is expecting everyone to stop what they're doing so that Gemini can take the time to choose what they want to do.

#10. Libra

Libras take a balanced approach to narcissism.

They adore being the center of attention and will talk your ear off about themselves, but will take the time to consider other people's needs.

They'll make an effort to include you even when they only do things they want to do, and they'll consider your feelings before forcing you to compromise so that they can be at peace.

It's a strange combination, that's what we're saying.

#11. Capricorns

Capricorns are narcissistic in some aspects of their lives and completely altruistic in others.

Usually, their narcissism shines through when it comes to their career and their hobbies, where they'll stop at nothing to achieve what they want to achieve, and will react aggressively if someone challenges them or stands in their way.

In just about every other aspect of their life, though, they're surprisingly easy-going and considered.

#12. Pisces

As they're one of the most empathetic signs in the Zodiac, Pisces don't tend towards narcissism.

However, they can get so wrapped in their emotions that they don't consider how they're affecting others until after the fact.

They'll apologize after, but that doesn't change the fact that, when they're feeling too strongly, the world might as well disappear for Pisces.

#Zodiac #Zodiac Signs #Zodiacs #zodiac facts #zodiacsign #astrology #astrology signs #Aries #Aquarius #Cancer #Capricorn #leo #libra #Gemini #virgo #Pisces #Sagittarius #taurus #scorpio

[hanemiso]

CLOUD 9 | FUSHIGURO MEGUMI

synopsis … you find peace in cuddling megumi .

genre … fluff, ficlet .

a/n … this is very short but it’s an old draft and i’m not happy with my writing as of late so enjoy .

Cotton candy clouds float across the sky, the lavender hue showing through your window. Another day has come and ended, but this one a more calming tone than the rest. It was not often that you felt at ease by sunset in this Jujustu world, but the arms circling your waist keep hold of your bliss.

Yes, this was heaven right in your dorm.

You nuzzle your head into his chest, hearing his heart beat a rhythm of silent affections. Megumi wasn't the most outgoing with his loving gestures, but you could feel it all the same. It's the little things-- the small details of the rather stoic sorcerer, that take hold of a deeper care.

The small glances throughout the day, each time his mind comes to you; the mental notes he takes of your favorite items; the attention he pays to listen to your every comment, even if he seems to be doing something else; the pinky he links with yours when he notices the little signs of your anxieties. The list goes on, and these would all go unrecognized by those who didn't see Fushiguro Megumi for the finer details.

Even the way he holds you now, as you cuddle in your bed, takes form of loving subtlety. He cares for you like a precious treasure, gentle to the touch. His calloused fingers dance over your skin, just eager to be close to you. In his mind, he wouldn't want it any other way.

And when you think of the way Megumi loves you, you can't help but giggle.

"What's so funny?" He asks, glancing down at you.

"Nothing, I was just thinking..." You trail off, looking up at him, “Even when we fade eventually into nothing, you will always be my favorite form of loving.”

His eyes widen for a second, a lovely pink blooming across his cheeks. Megumi averts his eyes from yours.

“That’s so cheesy.”

#anime #jujutsu kaisen #jjk #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jujutsu kaisen x you #jujutsu kaisen x y/n #jjk x reader #jjk x you #jjk x y/n #megumi x reader #megumi x you #megumi x y/n #fushiguro megumi x reader #fushiguro megumi x you #fushiguro megumi x y/n

[historia-vitae-magistras]

when matts goes feral in the woods is that a sort of break from reality type of thing? as in no idea whats going on around him, hallucinating or maybe actually seeing the kind of ghosts/folkloric creatures Arthur would deal with. or is it more like a deliberate need to seclude himself from everyone, but he's still aware of his surroundings?

It is a kind of break from reality! So I based it on the human psychiatric concept of a 'disassociation fugue' which is a kind of mental breakdown where someone disassociates so hard someone slide right out of their own identity and life and into either a confused state or just completely make up another one. As Matt is not entirely human, I adjusted it! So rather than being Matt and Canada in the same meatsack, the cards get reshuffled. He's still in there but he's not entirely in control. Say in normal circumstances the ratio of Matt to Canada or any other person to polity ratio is 80/20, Matt in his feral state is 20% human and 80%... other. He's got his basic survival skills and he'd recognize most of his loved ones, but he's not really recognizing himself until it wears off. He's not hallucinating, he knows his environment if not his exact location, he's still using tools. He's just gone off the rails and his brains not thinking like a person.

My thinking is that... what makes us human is other humans. In so much of folklore there's this repeating theme of the monstrous merely being unrecognized humanity. Transgressions against our fellow man, isolation, apathy are all ways in which humanity is denied. So with Matt, the ferality I wrote is a reflection of isolation, apathy and the resulting drop of the human facade. Love is what makes us human and without it, he loses his mind and ends up in the woods scaring the shit out of the locals and quadrupling cryptid sightings in the area. He's not the only country who does this, he's not special, he's barely scraping into the top ten of lowest population densities. Its an interesting thought experiment into what a mental breakdown looks like in someone who is not entirely human. No man is an island, but countries often are. And even if they aren't, they've got 1 major land border, neighbors who prefer to forget they exist unless its for something incredibly negative so he just sits in his own little bubble with no real reason to complain, a family who would largely prefer never to experience negative emotions and over all not demanding nor commanding attention until he loses his shit and the only cure for the resulting inhumanity is... humanity.

#matthew || my country is winter #Matt and Ferality || 80% uninhabited 100% uninhibited #the ask box || probis pateo

[system-of-a-feather]

Other Side to Body Memory

I wouldn't be shocked if I wrote something about this a year ago cause I used to think about it a lot more actively when I had first started Wing Chun since Wing Chun highly emphasizes this concept in relation to learning and fighting, but I was thinking about it and if I did, I'm going to rehash it with a year more of sitting on it

But in a lot of PTSD spaces, "Body Memory" I feel is a term a lot of survivors and peers say with at least a mild sigh or disdain as most of the time we talk about body memory in the haunting sensations, feelings, and trauma that the body holds which sometimes is even more deeply ingrained and seared into our memory than our conscious "mental / psychological" memory (for a lack of better words at the moment)

Body memory is often talked about as a symptom, a problem, an inherent trauma aspect, and that is totally normal, valid, and honestly correct - but a perspective and opinion I live by and have spent over a year pleading (more accurately shoving, but ya know the saying) my case to the system, but Body Memory isn't ONLY a symptom or trauma aspect, its a COMPLETELY normal and adaptive feature of the human and most complex organism's body and survival mechanism grown over years to deal with stimuli that is either abstract, fast, or complex of a "calculation" to consciously run.

Body memory in regards to trauma sucks fucking ass, but its important to remember that while there is a trauma aspect / dysfunction / problem to it that can bring feelings of pain and triggers and flashbacks - body memory, even with people with trauma, still probably serves a very unrecognized function in day to day life. You ride a bike easily because of it. You pet your dog without hurting it because of it. You can bite hard enough to bite a carrot but you can't bite hard enough to break your finger. While its not as obvious or seen, body memory - and your body - works every day to keep you safe and functioning and it does deserve that acknowledgement, even if some days - maybe even most days - it throws haunting pain.

That's just to say that your body isn't your enemy - even if it might feel like it. Your body is doing the best it can. It's your friend, it just sometimes struggles to understand how to use some of the things it's learned in a way that helps as it too is likely overwhelmed with what had happened.

And once a relationship with your body goes from "not enemy" to "struggling friend" you can really start to think about ways to work with your body, with your friend, to help both you and it out. Your body is extremely smart and a fast learner, for better or worse. It literally "calculates fucking physics and predicts" how much force to move XYZ and do all sorts of shit just to allow you to walk and not break everything both in your body and not. It won't talk to you like an alters does (unless you have a manifestation of that in your system) but it is probably by far the smartest part of your existence. It does however, depend on what you feed it, how you interact with it, and shape it's memory and how much you engage with it's sensations.

Back to the first paragraph, Wing Chun is heavily based on teaching your body - particularly your hands - to recognize how the touch of another person's body moving in a fight. It encourages a lot of keeping your hands on primary offensive / defensive parts of the body of the opponent at all times (wrists, arms, elbows) so that the body can constantly stay in contact and feel the opponent as they flex and twitch every so slightly - then training it how to respond to each movement with a counter and a strike. Very little of it's actual practice is cerebral past the training because much of any thinking is done by the body. A large part of training is regularly drilling and often times you are encouraged to chat and be distracted while drilling so that you can turn your brain off and let your body do what it does best and respond. It helps you build speed and response after you've made sure you are teaching it the right moves.

After a while, your body learns to break grabs, block, trap, and strike back without it ever properly registering in your brain to do so and the only switch you have to actually flip is "do I actually want to hit by stepping in to make my strikes reach, or do I maintain the distance since this is just sparring"

Before Wing Chun I largely trusted my instincts and my body because that is largely how I survived - I've been fighting and going with my body's instincts since we were young so the body memories I have from trauma have served me far more than they've hurt me, but after Wing Chun it really instilled this principle of conscious trust and awareness of my love and trust in my body to a new level.

My body is 5000x smarter than I could ever be, and its 5000x faster at making critical decisions than I will ever be and so long as I nurture it, it is always going to be my best ally. I don't need to worry about someone jumping me, not only because I can kick ass, but because my body is well trained to respond to threatening invasion of my personal space. I don't need to worry or stress about my ability to drive or respond to a dangerous unexpected situation like a crash or a crazy driver while driving because I trust that my body knows how driving feels and how to maneuver a car appropriately. I don't have to worry about if I know how to play a scale on the guitar how have to worry beyond originally learning the technique - cause thats something my body is better at learning, recalling, and doing.

I have a stupidly huge fucking ego and I do think I'm better than everyone in the system in 90% of all metrics (the elders will kill me for that but bitch theyd have to fight me first) but the only thing that I can say I genuinely respect the expertise of more than my self in 90% of realms is the body that we share. That shit while having not the best judgement on what is helpful in the long run, keeps us alive and functioning on the daily, hourly, very second to second of life and through some of the most mild threats to the largest threats were able to make fast short term decisions and calculations to keep us alive.

That bitch might sometimes need someone to curate the content it consumes and learns from, but that bitch is a fucking survivalist BEAST and god damn does it have my warriors bond and respect so god damn will I curate that survivalist to be the god damn best AND societal functioning survivalist I could give.

That bitch is my evolutionary horned over three billion years knife against the rest of the world. I don't CARE how much of a badass and combat bitch I might be, I can not beat Over Three Billion Years of Evolutionary Selection for Survival in being good at living. I'll treat that bitch likes its a god damn three billion dollar knife or sniper or whatever. It's my precious and most valuable asset in my collection of weapons and skills.

TLDR: Body Memory isn't inherently only a negative symptom / experience and while it can be hard, your body can be your god damn best friend if you nurture a relationship with it.

Post Script: If Riku is willing / has the time / sees this it would be kinda funny and helpful if you took this post and translated it from "XIV-ese" to whatever functioning language you use on this blog to actually make good self care / self help posts cause I think I did a functional job but I also know saying "that bitch" at our body 20x is off to say the least 😂

#alter: xiv #xiv rambles #ptsd #c-ptsd #body memory #recovery #healing #actuallydid #dissociative identity disorder #trauma #wing chun

[whoiwanttoday]

Last night I beat my ex-girlfriend in Marvel Snap. Well, I am 90% sure it was her as it was a familiar username that was one of a handful of default names she used to user (it was her AIM screenname when we started dating). She snapped on me during turn 2 which is frustrating but very her, just a bullying move but I snapped back because I knew it was her and guys, I just crushed her. I won all three lanes and put up 40+ points in two of them. Now, you'd think this would be a deeply satisfying situation but the problem is I do not reuse screennames across the internet because I don't want to be easily recognizable. This way if someone I know runs into me they only know it's me if I let them in on it. That way if they beat me in some stupid phone game they never know. The secret to winning guys is to tilt the board in your direction when no one is looking. You know, be a petty dickhead. So the problem is my ex has no clue she just got an epic beatdown for the ages at my hands. She might not even remember that match anymore! And there's the rub. They say revenge is a dish best served cold and it's been more than a decade since we've last interacted so this one is ice cold but it turns out revenge that someone doesn't know they have been served is deeply unsatisfying. Which leaves me with an irony that really is Shakespearian in proportions. I am certain this is what the bard would be writing about if he were alive today. I am stuck. I have this epic victory and yet it will go unrecognized because the only way for her to find out would be for me to tell her, at which point I lose the much larger game because then I am the total psycho who contacted my ex to brag about a victory in a phone game. That, it turns out, is a much greater loss than using Sinister London, the White Hot Room, and then two Thors (with two Mjolnirs), two Hulks, and Two Odins to absolutely crush someone's sad little Devil Dino deck. Which is a long way of leading up to posting Margot Robbie.

You might not see how this is related but that's a clever rhetorical trick I plan to use where I tie everything together at the end. I'm not just good at Marvel Snap, I am also the best at posting to this blog, it's why I am the only one who has ever done it. So, Margot Robbie is undeniably talented and beautiful and I sort of don't care. That's not right exactly because I really look forward to her in roles because she is fantastic in them. I am paraphrasing someone else here but it's accurate to say that she doesn't act like a movie star. Most movie stars tend to play some version of the same character over and over again. This isn't a knock against anyone, it's kind of what the audience wants and is definitely what the studio wants and you know what? We probably wouldn't like Indiana Jones so much if he wasn't distinctly Harrison Ford in ways that Han Solo is also distinctly Harrison Ford. Movie Stars are important but often they phone it in as time goes on and they certainly aren't known for taking risks. Margot Robbie seems to approach every single role as if she is a nobody looking for her big break. She takes big swings, she takes big risks and it doesn't matter if it's a serious biopic or a trashy comic book movie, she gives it 110% in a way that is mind boggling for someone who is one of the biggest stars in the world. I cannot think of anyone else of her stature who regularly tries so fucking hard. It's so commendable and she is just an amazing actress. But I don't typically find myself attracted to her. She is undeniably beautiful. Her fashion choices are almost always flawless. Yawn? Look, I am not here to bury Margot Robbie but to praise her, I just am letting you know why she has been posted only two times before on this blog. She is almost too beautiful, too flawless. I think I find that kind of boring? Or maybe just hard to sexualize? Like, I don't tend to sexualize paintings either. Which is objectifying but maybe that's the issue. She is perfect for Barbie because like Barbie she seems too perfect to be real and I have always found more interest in the gaps and flaws in life than anything else. Which is a long way of saying that there is a movie coming out that I am quite excited about that has endless pink carpets and stars one of the biggest, most beautiful stars in the world and I didn't think I would post her. Yet here I am. Margot Robbie has looked so amazing on these pink carpets it's unreal. Just the endless stream of absolutely perfect looks is enough to wear me down. London finally did me in, I loved the old fashioned glamorous gown. That mixed with just a week plus of amazing dress after amazing dress did me in. I am posting Margot Robbie. Which is how this comes around. My dear @thunderstormofoblivion quite likes Margot Robbie and one time angrily called me a liar when I said I just wasn't into Margot Robbie. She does that sometimes, doesn't believe me when I say I am not into something or someone. I can distinctly remember conversations years ago where she just told me I was lying about not being into certain sex acts. Anyway, that's what brings this all around. I could not tag @thunderstormofoblivion and she'd never, ever know. She actually still won't unless I link her but I will link her. Because I am going to let her have this win. Which means secretly I win by being such a decent and big person, I'm not petty at all and would never, ever seek this kind of validation myself. So @thunderstormofoblivion was right. Today I want to fuck Margot Robbie.

#Margot Robbie #blonde #Actress #whoiwanttofucktoday

[flurrin]

RE6 Deep Lore Analysis: Prologue

Welcome to my series where I pick apart a 10+ years old game frame by frame to analyze the storytelling, cinematography, characters and of course additional Lore to fill in the gaps that either don't exist or are poorly conveyed. I'm doing this because the game is often dismissed for being convoluted and too far removed from the Resident Evil series in terms of mechanics. These things are true and it's very much an imperfect game! But the story has a lot of brilliance that goes unrecognized and I want to dive in how the whole thing works, both to new players and to those already enmeshed in the universe. To read the series in order, go here!

Great shot to open the story on, a regular chrysalis thriving in an abandoned car, transforming into something new. We don't get to see anything beautiful like a moth or butterfly unfurling its wings for the first time, we see the insect, and then we cut away as disaster strikes. This obviously foreshadows the use of cocoons as enemy mechanics, and for Leon's campaign in particular, the lack of signs of surviving human life (including over the preceding establishing shots of a fiery city block filmed through the windows of the car) really set the mood.

I don't know if this was the shot that spawned RE's love of 1st person intros later seen in RE3R (not counting 7 because the entire game is 1st person) but it's an impressive bit of camera work, paring down the controls of the game so the player doesn't even have a body per se to control yet, just eyes and interaction commands (the interaction commands + QTEs themselves are...a little bit of a mess gameplay-wise for sure). We don't know this is Ada or that she's actually shooting at the zombies around Leon and not at him and Helena, so there's an active threat without having to push the player into combat right away.

RE6 is excellent at transition shots, here the gun is highlighted by the helicopter and thrown into the foreground of the next shot so your brain has realigned to recognize this is the POV character seamlessly. This is like a really basic shot, I'm going to show you some CRAZY animated camera tricks later, but it's good to keep in mind that the director knows what he's doing and is doing it well. This shot, this sequence, is also a perfect encapsulation of Leon's character as described in the very first game file. Leon protects the innocent, no matter the risk. He frames Helena, big and square and determined.

Helena being injured in this sequence also aids the tutorial's method of paring down the controls into something simpler, carrying her encumbers Leon, multiplayer doesn't exist yet. It also gives the player immediate stakes to worry about--someone is relying on Leon, and he cares, so the player cares too. We also first learn Helena is self-sacrificial through these extra interactions that don't get a chance to show up in the final game.

The purpose of this kind of hair in character design is to make a character's eyes, and therefore emotions, harder to read (this will be significant again when we talk about Jake later btw). Leon has a lot of baggage from RC and he feels it a lot, but he plays things close to the chest and hides behind his hair. In this way, even though he's a familiar protagonist, he feels almost as mysterious as Helena at the start, giving them an instant reason to connect.

RE6's answer to fixed camera angles is to still frame things cinematically rather than just for the benefit of the player. It's not a great approach to gameplay but thankfully in this one, Leon course corrects on his own and you just have to hold the buttons.

The camera is alive and active through these shots as they fall onto the glass, Leon's body framing the zombies below until they're clear to see beyond the edge of the cracks, a moment of peace before they look up, and the eye follows the path that the ornate light fixture is about to follow and crush them. They're trapped in by the circle of glass and the edges of the lantern.

I will say I hate the last shot of this prologue because the one that opens the game proper is essentially the same exact shot and it always throws me off, the first time I played I was like "Wait, what happened to the giant spire thing we were just standing next to, how are we in a college now". But it was an intentional choice at least to make the transition into the first chapter a lot smoother, I get that.

That's all for the prologue, I didn't want to cover this entire post in "the cinematography is so good here", but as we go through the cutscenes, be sure to keep your eyes on how the lines of the scene (such as Leon's gun and the tiles in the background of that last screencap) line up with the character's eyes to bring your attention there. Everything in the prologue is meant to build up intrigue so there's very little story and I'll talk less about cinematography going forward, but if you want a really good breakdown on what makes a good shot, I can't recommend this case study on Brad Bird's Incredibles enough. See you next time!

#resident evil #re6 #re6 deep lore analysis #flurr text #media epiphanies

[actual-changeling]

To maybe add onto this post a little bit because I feel like this is something a lot of people who aren't really deeply informed on mental health and/or trauma might not know.

There is four different survival responses: fight, flight, freeze, and fawn. The first two are obviously well known but the other two aren't, however especially fawn is dangerous if it goes unrecognized.

I see people write fics in which Ellie goes from fight or flight straight into fawn and it is portrayed as good and healing, meanwhile she is just stuck in a different trauma response. It's just as unhelpful and just as harmful.

The fawn response is focused around appeasing people and keeping everyone else happy because your brain and body tell you that this is how you keep yourself safe. You disregard your emotions, feelings, boundaries, needs, everything in order to make the people around you like you, especially the one you register as a threat. For example, if you are stuck in survival mode and you get into a small, not dangerous fight with someone, your brain will see this as an immediate threat to your safety and slip into the fawning (in this case). You will ignore your own stance on the topic and take the blame for the fight/the problem, you will appease them and give up your position and take on theirs to make them happy and calm again. People very often apologize for things that are not their fault because it is safer to be blamed in a way you can control (and makes the other person less actively aggressive) rather than be stuck in a fight you have zero control over.

We do actually see Ellie fawning in episode nine, she is not only incredibly dissociated but the way she talks is timid and soft, she also apologizes for not being present when Joel points it out (kudos to him for saying "no it's okay" instead of playing into it). If you do not know what to look for, that moment might not mean anything, but it's a textbook fawn response.

Why am I telling you all this? Because writing Ellie as becoming incredibly obedient and "calmer" in how she responds to rules and expectations is a) not true to who she is as a character and b) actively exacerbates her fawn response and reinforces the beliefs and core assumptions of her CPTSD. Fawning means the people around you do not see your trauma anymore/it stops inconveniencing them, so on the outside they think it's great! Look, they're no longer being aggressive or irritable, this must mean they're getting better, right? But then you look at the person and they're terrified to death of upsetting someone and disregard their needs to make everyone else happy and that is the opposite of getting better.

So please, if you write about Ellie recovering from what she has been through keep in mind that there is more than one way to react to trauma and responses that look fine on the outside are usually *not* fine on the inside. Don't just push her from one survival mode into another one because it's more convenient for you, actually put in the work and make her process it, see where she actually ends up once can break out of it.

#alex yells at the void #the last of us #tlou #ellie williams #idk i've been thinking about that scene in episode 9 a lot lately #partly cause i am writing her fawn response into my fic(s) #so this is just. a post on one tiny aspect of ptsd because i felt like writing it lol #but if someone is interested in hearing about other stuff i pretty much have personal experiences with almost all of it #my cptsd is a sledgehammer in my brain #i could write a whole ass essay about how to handle her fedra trauma alone cause boy have i seen some dangerous takes on that