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#and i worry that people hate ME for talking about them so much
scorpioriesling · 1 day
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Ideal Mate + Ideal Date HC
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *
Pairing(s): Reader x Rhysand / Cassian / Azriel / Lucien / Eris / Tamlin
Warnings: fluff, some light allusions to smut and brief suggestive scenes, light swearing
Summary: Headcannons/drabbles for (my idea!) what the "ideal" mate for each character is, with an ideal date for the two of them as well.
SR’s Note: Just another little idea I had, pls don't hate on me <3
✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *✧・゚:* ✧・゚: *
Rhysand
You would have to catch his eye because you're "different" in some way from other females
Whether it is because you are human, you are creative, you are undeniably brave and don't care who sees it... he is enraptured by you
All of these things intimidate him a little bit, which is why he has to learn about you from afar first before he can finally meet you
He is so nervous when he finally introduces himself, but unashamedly peers inside your head to see if you're even the least bit intrigued in him as he is by you
He's glad he did, and had nothing to worry about; you've fallen at first sight
He makes a point to learn things you like; he has tried to teach himself how to paint, but gets frustrated that it is one of the only things he can't master
He already asked you for an evening by the sidra to paint and have a picnic; too early, though as now he is realizing he is no good at the skill you excel in
"I just want you to know, painting isn't something I'm very talented in doing..."
You get butterflies realizing the most powerful and dangerous High Lord could be so nervous on a first date with a human female
"Allow me to help you, then."
He melts when your fingers hold his on the brush, only using one canvas as you paint a picture together instead of two separate ones
He can barely focus, your jasmine scent so close as you sit side by side on the soft grass by the river in the moonlight. He's not even focusing on the painting, but on your side profile instead, so intrigued in your work, the way your brows furrow in concentration
The moonlight illuminates the soft freckles on your nose; he wants to lean in and kiss each one of them
"No wonder you do not paint very well; you don't seem to have a strong sense of focus," you smirk
Cassian
He didn't want to like you when he met you, but somehow... he couldn't help himself
Your icy stare, the way you carried yourself, your strong sense of independence... you made it clear you didn't want any man
But he wanted you
At first he didn't know how to act around you, usually the fae he took interest in were kind and welcoming... but you had a bite that would send every male in Prythian screaming. He wasn't sure how to make you like him
He tried kindness; he earned a scowl. He tried buying you things; another sour look. He even tried inviting you to things, so you'd feel less isolated; all that got him was rejection, every time. Finally, he'd had enough
"What is it with you? Why won't you let anyone in? I get it, your family sucks, but-"
"Oh, please. You know nothing about me or my family." You'd spat
"Yeah! You're right, I don't," he heaves. "I don't... you don't tell me. You don't let a single person in. You don't talk to me, or tell me anything, or," he huffs a laugh. "Gods, I mean. You wouldn't step back and realize that someone cares so much for you, or see that I've just been trying to get you to love me back all along!" He'd throw his hands in the air, and they'd fall to his sides
You stand there, frozen in shock. You really could not believe what you were hearing, coming from Cassian, of all people
One minute, you're contemplating how to go about all this. Then, the next minute, you're not thinking at all
You're closing the distance, two steps at a time, throwing your arms around his neck and crashing your lips onto his. His large hands grasp your waist, holding you tight to him
You pull away and stare up into his wide, hazel eyes, boring into yours in utter disbelief
"Y/N... I can't do this if you're not serious about-"
"Take me out then. I'll show you just how serious I can be." His chest rises and falls, and he just shakes his head and lets out a suprised chuckle
"You'd really go out with me?" He asks, playfully. You roll your eyes in response, your usual irritation returning to your face
"Rita's in 30." You pull away from him and saunter off toward your room in the House of Wind, feeling his gaze on your swaying hips. You were already planning out a rather scandalous outfit for tonight, involving a tiny red dress hanging in your closet...
"You better stop staring at my ass, Cassie, or I might just change my mind." You call over your shoulder. He prectically clutches his chest with his hand
You were going to be the death of him
Azriel
Hear me out -- Azzie is attracted to someone who is originally viewed as very naive and harmless, but has a confident and brave side as well
He would see you from afar, wearing a pretty dress, a big bow in your hair while you walk along the streets in Velaris with your friends
Your smile has this man blushing!! and he doesn't even know you yet, but he knows he must have you
"You okay man?" Cassian asks, and Azriel cooly plays it off as being too hot in the mid-day sun. Cassian just gives a confused "whatever", but Rhysand says nothing as he knows exactly what is happening here
"I need a drink, and since Azriel is so warm," Rhysand side eyes his friend, smirking. Azriel immediately starts sweating. He knows Rhys is up to something, and Azriel has been casually observing you the whole morning that he's been in Velaris. You'd just gone into the small coffee shop, the one adorned with peonies outside; one Rhys was guiding the group of bat boys closer to. "...why don't we stop in here for some refreshments?"
He thinks his heart is going to fall out of his ass right now. He couldn't go in there -- you were already in there, and he was in no position to be talking to you right now
"Rhys, I uh, I don't know if I want coffee right now," he stutters quietly. Rhys chuckles, clapping a hand on his shoulder. Cassian looks between the two, still confused
"Ohhhhh Az," he sighs. "I'm sure they have water in there, and I am rather thirsty myself. Say, Cassian looks parched too -- why don't you go in and get us three waters, hmm?" Rhysand asks. Azriel glares at Rhys
"I know. What. You're doing." He says, voice clipped. Cassian scrunches his face behind the two of them.
"I mean, I'll go in and get 'em, I am kinda hot now that you mentioned the sun-" Cassian starts. Rhys puts a hand up, stopping his Illyrian friend and shaking his head. A wicked smile plays on his lips.
"No no, Azriel said he would go. We'll just wait outside..." He slinks over to a small table, and Cassian plops down in a chair, seeming to ask Rhys what was going on. The High Lord only stares between Azriel and the front door, silently ushering him to go inside. Azriel growls, forcing one foot in front of the other before he is finally opening the door and entering the small shop
The scent of roasting coffee beans and vanilla cream wafts through the air, the smell intoxicaitng and fresh. It only takes Azriel a moment to spot you, the blue and ivory sundress hugging you stunningly and the cream bow a stark contrast against your rich, flowing hair. He glances toward the window, and meets the eyes of both Rhysand and Cassian. Cassian gives him a cheesy thumbs up, and Azriel rolls his eyes as he heads towards the front counter. You're at the other end, waiting on your order
"Hi! How may I help you?" The cheery older woman behind the counter greets him. He can barely focus on anything, let alone the fae in front of him engaging in conversation when you're closer than you've been all day to him
"Three waters..." he says. The older lady follows his line of sight, a small smile pulling at her lips as she begins to chuckle
"I'll have those right out for you," hes still staring, and she shakes her head, continuing to smile at him. "Her name is Y/N."
This snaps him out of his daze. He looks to the cashier once more. "Y/N?" He repreats. The name has never sounded so lovely. Maybe it wouldn't have, but now he knows it belongs to you. The woman nods her head
"Yes, Shadowsinger." His lips part, but no words come out. "And, she is here every day around lunch time. Unwed. So... I'd suggest you go over there and do something about that, hmm?" Azriel can't hide the heat on his cheeks as the woman winks at him, turning to get working on a few orders. That was his turn to walk away, walk over to you...
As he approaches your side in the waiting area, his breath quickens. He can't help but notice you're alone, your friends have gone outside and oh-so-conveniently struck up a conversation with his two brothers.
Bastards.
"I don't think I've ever waited this long for a drink from here in my life," you say quietly, chuckling at the end. He only blinks, not sure if what he was hearing was true. Were you really speaking to him?
He turns to you, only to find you already gazing up at him. He can't help but smile, revealing his perfect teeth as he fumbles for what to say back
"Do you, come here? Often?" He asks. He already knew the answer, but...
"Almost every day!" You beam. "And you?"
He shakes his head. "First time in."
You nod slowly. "Oh... my. Well, I hope you've tried something delicious for your first experience." You grace him with another small grin, and he feels like he might melt at the sight. He hadn't realized how close you'd stepped, or maybe he had? Only mere inches separated-
"Three waters!" The cashier calls, setting down the three glasses in front of Azriel. His cheeks heat as he stares at them, the wide-eyed expression from his new crush not going unnoticed. It isn't long before the most lovely sound is filling his ears though.
You were giggling beside him.
"Oh... my..." you say between breaths. Azriel sighs, leaving the three cups on the counter and facing you. He can't help but let loose a chuckle himself, and your cheeks redden at the sight of him
"Well, it seems I'll need to come back and actually try something next time..." He says. You continue to giggle, trying hard to calm down and peer down at the floor, shaking your head.
"Hey, I've got a lot of great suggestions, but..." the cashier silently sets down your drink in front of you, and you pick it up. "...plain water maybe isn't one of them." You grin. Azriel grabs his water, taking a long swig and you wished that perhaps it was you on his lips instead-
You turned to walk toward the door, your new companion keeping up with you and holding the door open for you to exit. You open your mouth to thank him, but he beats you to it
"Maybe you can show me what you'd suggest? Next time?" Your wide eyes gaze up at him, his hazel ones squinting in the midday sun. The breeze lightly brushes his black hair across his tanned forehead, and you try really hard to supress the grin spreading across your face
"I'd meet you here tomorrow, but;" you hesitate. "Well, uh, I have ring training tomorrow at this time... but maybe the day following?" You look at him sheepishly. He looks as if he is ready to fall to his knees in front of you
"I'll be here, the day following." You rise on your tippy toes, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek before skipping off to meet your friends. His eyes trail after you, his cheek tingling from where your lips made contact. He doesn’t register his brothers rising from the table and approaching him
“So uh… where are our drinks, Az?”
Lucien
Classic, but Lucie is going to fall for someone (kind of like Az) who is very soft and kind but can also hold her own
He is also going to rizz the shit out of you... but I feel like that is already a given
I feel like he would actually meet you in the Day Court when he's there on an assignment, and you'd be one of Helion's advisor's daughters and he would immediately be drawn to you
The gold and white dress and accessories you'd appeared in... oh he's down bad
He saw you at first in a group setting, not really being able to keep his eyes off of you but then later he spotted you near a pond of sunlight and couldn't walk away
He was walking closer, and noticed you actually weren't alone but were actually comforting a small child who appeared upset near the pool's edge. The boy stood, peering down at you on your knees as you ran your thumbs across his cheeks. Lucien leaned against a nearby tree, not wanting to interrupt, but also so intrigued by the scene in front of him
"There is no need to worry, sweetheart," your tender words pulled at something deep in Lucien's chest, though you weren't speaking to him at all. The little one sniffled and nodded, staring deep into your eyes. "I know it is frightening when we are lost, but look," you give the boy an award winning smile and Lucien feels like his heart is singing for you already. "...I've found you, and you're safe here! You know?" You say. He reaches out his little arms and braces them around your neck, hands tangling in your cascade of curls. You pull him in close, not letting go until he does
You take his precious fingers in yours, and he walks closely beside you as you make your way back to the palace. "Now, let's go find your mommy, okay honey?"
Lucien swears he could cry, hes never seen anyone so kind and gentle. He couldn't imagine having someone like that to love, and made the decision then that he would be introducing himself to you later that evening, properly
And when he does... ohhhh he charms you. It wasn't hard for you to fall for Lucien as quickly as he fell for you; he practically screamed "husband material"
He'd taken you on many dates, but the one that was the most special was when he brought you to a waterfall on horseback, just before sunset. He tied your shared horse to a tree, and led you to a small alcove where a small picnic was pre-set, the sunset streaming through the falling water just right (thank you, Helion). Apple pie, roasted turkey, and autumnal wine adorned the small blanket, as well as a little golden box in the middle. Your hand flew to your mouth
"I know the sunset and these falls make you who you are in the Day Court," Lucien says sheepishly as he guides you to the spread. You take your seats and he doesn't let go of your hand. "I wanted to show you a little bit of what makes me who I am too..." he trails off. You can't help the silver lining your eyes as you take in the scene around you
"Autumn and Day... who would've thought." You smile at him, and he reaches for the box. Opening it, he pulls out a thin golden necklace with a sun symbol on it.
"I love you to great lengths, Y/N," You only then notice as he is unclasping it that he already adorns one of the same around his neck.
"I don't want to leave you, or this place anymore," he says, reaching behind your neck to fasten the clasp. He breathes in your hibiscus scent, and his fingers trail down the side of your cheek. You can't help but let a tear slip free, realizing you'd never have to say goodbye again
"I won't ever leave you, or this court, again."
Eris
You caught the attention of Eris because you were plain
Literally
Eris was so excited (but, confused?) because he'd never genuinely loved a female beyond his sexual encounters, then he'd met you and you'd absolutely ruined everyone else for him
You were overlooked by everyone, which made you feel horrible most of your life, but Eris treated you like a queen, and he appreciated your simplicity and liked how uncomplicated you were
You were not even High Fae; which didn't go over well with Beron, but Eris didn't care. You made him feral. He'd kill his own father for you if it meant spending the rest of eternity with you.
His father was always trying to marry him off with other High Fae or noble females, but they were always too much to handle or too bratty and stuck up to Eris
He also didn't appreciate his father telling him who he would be allowed to chose and who he couldn't
But boy oh boy, did he choose you
He liked to keep your outings private, so no one would be able to swoop in and ruin the time you had together
But, that did not stop him from going all out for you and giving you all of the things you did not get to indulge in
He definately used his status to his advantage...
Your favorite date to go on -- a repeat date, as it was a shared favorite -- was to the orchard. Eris would spoil you by taking you shopping the day prior (you'd almost always choose a crimson or maroon sundress with matching flats) for a new outfit, and you'd wear said outfit the next day
You'd always wear one of his rings, though the two of you were not yet properly mated, and the sight of it made him weakkkkk I am telling you weak
He'd reserve the orchard for the day, and the two of you would ride on the wagon, share warm cider, and walk along the treelines as you both did when you were just young children
Obviously there would be apple picking, and he'd purposefully wander near a tree with ones dangling higher than you could grasp
"Eris, I can't-" you huff, stretching an arm up and dancing on your tip toes in search of the hanging fruit on a branch out of your reach. His eyes would wander, taking in your bare legs as your short dress rode up higher on your thighs-
Ughhhhh, this is not the place, Eris
"Allow me, my love." He would bend down, hiking you up on his shoulder and standing at his full height, arm bent and wrapped around your knees as you sat atop his shoulderblade. You'd wobble a bit, but, now you could reach the Honeycrisp you'd been going for.
Reaching toward branch, you grab on and yank. Seeing it glimmering in the warm September sun, you can't help but to bite into it, a satisfying crunch as a tiny drop of juice trails from the corner of your lips. A satisfied "hmmm" escapes your throat as you close your eyes, but the male beneath you catches on to what you're doing
"Heyyy," Eris slides you off his shoulder, hands firmly gripping your hips and gently setting you on your feet. Your spun around to face him, and he smirks down at you. Your now wide eyes stare into his amber ones as he leans in, licking the drop near your mouth and then leaning in close to your ear
His breath was warm on your neck, and a shiver ran down your spine as goosebumps appeared on your arms. His warm hands trailed up and down your upper arms, his voice low and husky. "These are for picking -- I thought we could eat... later..."
Tamlin
So... stay with me here on this one. Tam Tam is getting a mate that has a power dynamic that is going to absolutely match his okay
Whatever energy you give me, I'm matching it... that is the dynamic that this duo is giving here
Also... I feel like after Feyre, he would pull a complete 180 and be with someone who would put him in his place from the very beginning
His previous relationship really messed him up, but after he healed from that... he absolutely changed for the better I feel like. I think he would be with someone who would keep him in check, remind him when he's acting out, and almost maybe scare him a little? Kind of like Cassian and his ideal mate lol
Except... his ideal girlie would also be maybe just a tad unhinged
Just like him
It's alright... we love to see it
Anyways
His mate would be very modernly beautiful, I feel like; what comes to mind when you think of "society's beautiful". Not fake, however. Just very blessed, and just born this way -- lucky her! Lol
This, of course, caught Tamlin and the entirety of the Spring Court's eye
He was not very intimidated by his ideal mate, at first, but when he got to know you a little bit better, he wanted to do everything right and not screw anything up like last time
If he did mess up, or do things that were genuinely wrong or out of line... oh did he hear about it. You definitely kept him in check
Yet, another reason the Spring Court loved you
He did get easily jealous of other males, High Fae and lesser faeries alike for looking at you too long, talking to you, and fawning over you of course
Who wouldn't?
He'd wrap his arm around you a little tighter when in public, or kiss you literally right on the mouth in the middle of the square if people were staring at you for longer than he'd like
But, you honestly didn't care. You reveled in it, the attention you got from others, which in turn, drove him wild and would lead to his posessiveness of you taking over-
Phew... yeah uhm
Dating... he wouldn't even bother making dates private. He liked showing you off, even though other guys looking at you made him nuts
You liked public dates, because you liked to be shown off, and again, his posessiveness was so sexy and would usually lead to a great time (in PRIVATE, of course) once the nice lil date was over
You'd make it even better by wearing something fun for him when he'd take you out. Let's say... dinner, for example
You'd start sitting across the booth from each other, both recieving polite hello's and compliments from every faerie who passed your table. You'd of course return them; one thing he'd picked up from you was your politeness and manners
After a little while of spending time together and him gazing into your eyes, he'd seem a little... distracted... and slip into the same side of the booth with you instead, just to be closer to you
It didn't really help his case, but he really liked the smell of wildflower and honey that seemed to radiate from you
He'd have one arm around your shoulders, tracing small circles on your skin with his finger and you’d giggle because it tickled
But it also distracted you from his other hand slowly tracing up your thigh...
...and under your short, oh so short skirt...
Finally, you'd caught onto what he was doing and sat up straight, the corset top you'd expertly paired with this outfit for this reason alone doing you justice as his gaze flicked down to where it curved low below your collarbone. A soft growl graced the shell of your ear, and you only chuckled as his hot breath tickled the side of your neck
"You didn't put anything on under this... did you?"
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One thing that has been bothering me a lot over the past few days is seeing all these RIP YOI, RIP IceAdo, Remember YOI etc. posts. As someone who discovered YOI later, I'm watching this unfold from the sidelines and I'm seriously worrying what this is going to do to the fandom. I understand that you are sad because the movie was cancelled, everyone has the right to be sad about such a thing, and I'm not trying to invalidate your pain. But, and I'm saying this with all kindness and my best intentions, and hell, I'm not even the first one saying this, but please hear me out:
YOI IS NOT DEAD.
It did not die last Friday. And it doesn't die because there won't be a movie. No story in human history has ever died because someone decided it was over. Stories are forever. They live in the hearts of the people. And so has YOI been living in the hearts of its fans since October 6th 2016, and will continue to live there for as long as we want.
Whenever I type "Yuri On Ice" into the search field of any social network, web archive, or search engine, I see hundreds of thousands of hits, most of them fanworks. Please take a moment to think about what that means:
In the 7.5 years since YOI aired, fans have made tons of art, written fanfiction and metas, cosplayed YOI characters, created fan videos, crafted all kinds of fan-made merch, and so much more. You are the ones who brought into being an infinite multiverse centred around an anime that is already larger than life. You have already created so much more YOI than Sayo, Kubo, MAPPA etc. could ever create even if they made one hundred movies. And even if every country in the world turns fascist and bans YOI, it will survive because fans will always find ways to preserve it and the power its message holds. Only stories that nobody no longer talks and cares about fade in oblivion.
You hold all the power to keep YOI alive, but, and this is probably the hardest pill to swallow, that also makes you the only ones who are able to kill YOI - be it by stopping to create or talk about it, or by shouting its death from the rooftops because you fancy yourself dramatic, or by turning the fandom into a hate-infested toxic hellscape, whichever will occur first.
And I honestly don't know which of these I fear most.
If you truly love YOI, please do your share and continue to keep it alive.
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sl0t4matt · 2 days
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l. yamal bf! headcanons (requested)
i didn’t know what to write abt this one he’s so younggg, but for the person requesting, i hope i did okay :))
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❀bf! lamine, that has loved you ever since you were little.
❀bf! lamine, that would talk shit with you about the referee’s and rival players, complaining as to why they would play so unfairly and the refs that have obviously been bought.
❀bf! lamine, that you were so proud of when he got his debut for the first team since it always has been his dream to become one of the barcelona legends.
❀bf! lamine, that you can completely be yourself with because he always matches your energy.
❀bf! lamine, that always puts you in his tiktok dumps wether it being a cute picture of you or one of the both of you. he always wants to show you off.
❀bf! lamine, that is a big romantic and takes you to cute but also thoughtful dates, like the picnic you both did.
❀bf! lamine, that loves to annoy the shit out of you, it being his way of flirting.
❀bf! lamine, who (when at schoo) would yap with to you about literally anything instead of doing his work, mostly talking about the most ridiculous topics like how he thinks that “people who squint are cringey af”. but you’re not exactly better. people would call the two of you the yapping duo, as dumb as it sounds, it was true. the both of you never seem to shut up, getting glares from anyone that would listen to you.
❀bf! lamine that would send you pictures of messi and his wife writing next to them: “us”.
❀bf! lamine that only reply’s to haters comments when it’s about you. he’s fine if someone has something against him but when it’s about you that crosses the line. he would hate to see worrying about dumb, jealous people. “she doesn’t even look that good.” “stfu.”
❀bf! lamine, who gets yelled at by xavi because he keeps texting you.
❀bf! lamine, that sends you pictures of the sunset because you love of them so much.
❀bf! lamine, that complaints about how you always take his hoodies, but secretly loves it because when you give them back they smell like you.
❀bf! lamine, that hates it when you call him bro (you do it on purpose to provoke him)
❀bf! lamine, that remembers everything about you. “i remember you said you liked this, so i got it for you”
❀bf! lamine, that can’t help but blush when you do such simple things like complimenting him. “you look so cute in that pink hoodie.” “stop, oh my god.”
❀bf! lamine, that won’t let you pay whenever you’re with him. “why did you even bring your wallet, i’m gonna pay anyways.”
❀bf! lamine, that calls you whenever he’s in another country because of a game.
❀bf! lamine, who’s comments are down baddd whenever you post something. “you look so good, can you tell me to kms🙏🏼” “bro i want you so bad, what do you want me to do, i will do anything for you.” “someone take my phone away🫣” sometimes you can’t even tell wether he’s joking or not.
❀bf! lamine, that is soo clingy with you, always feeling the need to hold your hand, somehow wanting to show his love for you.
❀bf! lamine, that secretly loves the edits you send of him. they do make him look good, you got to admit.
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phrandallanton · 2 days
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ranfren headcannons
I've done everything but posted headcannons and a fanfiction. This won't do. Here's some headcannons of mine! All of them aren't serious so don't take them that way d(>_・ ). Feel free to ask me about any other headcannons I'll definitely give more!
Randal
• if he has any pimples on his face he definitely picks at them untill they pop
• either is really good at math or sucks at math and hates it. (No in-between)(leaning towrds sucking at math more)
• has tear stains on his homework sometimes
• he bathes everyday dispite what people think. (Luther forces him too)
• his hair gets really oily. He has tried to cook with the oil his hair produced once. Nobody ate dinner that night.
• if he's frustrated and you go to poke him he'll scream on top of his lungs, but like the scream that goes from normal yelling to banshee screeching. "stop touCHING MEEEEĚĘƏƏ!!!!"
• gets in a lot of internet arguments about things that don't matter at all ("I think you'll find it's 'whom'.")
• he'd get so mad if he ask you to hold his glasses, and you proceed to carelessly get your fingerprints all over them.
• draws with those "how to draw anime" guid books.
• if he ever took a driving test, he would have already failed the moment he opens the car door.
• loves kraft mac and cheese, double points if it's in shapes of popular marketable characters.
• now thinking of it, if he was a pasta dish he would be kraft mac and cheese.
• bites his toe nails off (gross) Luther tried to get him to stop but he probably does the same thing when no one is around.
• sneezes weirdly. Like..."ah...ah...AH CHOOwoowoowoowoo..." and shakes his head. Or if he's covering it in his elbow it'll sound like a trumpet horn.
Luther
• he can dance but it's weird.
• if you tell him a joke he'll turn it into a life lesson.
• he wins every staring contest. However if your eyes start watering he'll get worried and start begging you to blink.
• treats women (and everyone) with so much respect, but he won't hesitate to punch a women if he really has to.
• *shakes his indext finger* "no no no"
• Randal probably tried to set him up on a blind date, he didn't like that. It was very awkward to say the least.
• genuinely gets happy when there are bagels at the function.
• when asked for advice, it'll sound like he's going to say something really meaningful and life changing, but then does a complete 180. "Oh, you think your ugly? Well people will have their opinions about you and ...well... you aren't the best thing to look at. But there's worst out there ♡."
• I can see him gobbling up some cheese and broccoli.
• has a walk in closet filled with clothes and accessories he doesn't wear.
• he 100% definitely has the goofiest giggle in the planet.
• eats ice cream with his front teeth.
Nyon
• I will stand by this till the day I die, he's really funny. He has a really good sense of humor. But I could also seem him not understanding jokes too. But at the same TIIIMMEE I feel like he'd be naturally funny.
• he knows lots of slang and pop culture due to watching TV a lot and probably quotes stuff in his head. (Maybe out loud if he was talking to you)
• has a lot of opinions, will never say them out loud, even when asked.
• he's the smartest out of everyone, including Luther.
• easily amused. please give him one of those little fishy nightlights. He'd enjoy looking at it so much.
• he's good at card games and Nyen doesn't like that. (Nyen has stabbed him over games of uno)
• has a really funny looking smile. (There's that one drawing in the Christmas comic where he's smiling weird after he saw Luther's reaction to the fire place tape he made for him)
Nyen
• listens to death metal but then listens to a jpop song right after. ("Can't let gang know I fw this")
• good at math, sucks at reading.
• loves hearing about drama and will be nosy.(come on man he loves Judge Judy and romance novels)
• sounds like Tom from Tom and Jerry when he yells.
• he calls himself "The Tom Cat" and (canonically) "Top of the pets in the house hold" which is practically the same as "I'm the alpha" so he's probably has said that.
• sucks at card games. Will legit end up with half of the pack of cards in his hands in the middle of an uno game.
• actually the weakest of them all. (I won't go into all that right now. But I can definitely beat him up in a fight, just sayin.)
•him and Nyon probably have times where they stay up and chit chat for a bit before they sleep, Example (from my old notes I had):
Nyon high on weed:...why do we call oranges..oranges...but we don't call apples...reds..??..
Nyen:....sh*t...you got a point... does that mean we would call lemons: short yellows and bananas: long yellows so it doesn't get confusing?...
*they then discuss this for an hour or so*
• Snores really really LOUD. Sounds like a car.
• oddly very ticklish I bet.
~~~~~~
That's all I have now. It's 2 in the morning and I'm falling asleep. I might write other characters headcannons later.
"I'm going to sleep" -bop it
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Helpless part 40, It is very often nothing but our own vanity that deceives us
"Neeks, you awake?"
"What time is it?" The Hades child mumbled, pushing his hair out of his face.
"11:24."
"How the fuck am I still tired?"
"Because you still need to catch up on sleep and you're off drugs medical and others after a while so you're still adjusting."
"I'll be honest I didn't process half of that." Will rolled his eyes teasingly, walking over to mess up his hair more than it already was. Will started to look through some files he'd brought in with himself as Nico started to get ready,
"Can I braid your hair?"
"You know how to braid?"
"Not very well, but Kayla made me learn a few years ago before she had to let Aussi cut her hair on a dare."
"I can imagine how well that went, but sure." Will sat next to him, brushing out and parting his hair before starting to do a french braid. "Do you have the second volume of Heartstopper?" Will laughed, quickly kissing Nico on the cheek.
"I can't believe I thought you were straight but yes, I have all the books."
"I can't believe I thought you were straight."
"Think you were the only one Neeks."
"Oh shut up Solace."
"Don't think I will di Angelo."
"Gods save me."
"What do you want to eat?"
"Nothing." He answered almost instantly,
"Not an option."
"I'm not hungry." He promptly ignored him and pulled out three ceral bars from his pocket,
"Pick one."
"Leave me alone."
"Do you feel sick?"
"I- I- just... can't, drop it William."
"I'll leave them here, just eat when you can, alright?" He said, half hugging him.
"Fine."
"Nico, have you considered talking to someone? Maybe keeping a journal as well?"
"Only if you'll also get help." He couldn't think of something he wanted to do less but Will needed help, desperately.
"It's not your job to worry about me."
"Will, I'm your boyfriend, it really is."
"Are you comfortable with the idea of talking to someone?" He was fine, he knew he was worthless what's the point of lying to himself.
"N-no." Fuck, this wasn't going the way he hoped.
"Nico, you don't need to do anything that you aren't comfortable with, that won't help. Also... I'm sorry about last night.. I- it's- yeah I'm just sorry."
"Will, no one's perfect, you need help, please, just try to."
"Neeks, I'm fine, really. I was just shocked last night and yeah, there have been a lot of people in the infirmary because of the war normally it's just less hectic." Lying through his teeth, he hated himself for it but that's fine, just another thing to add to the endless list. He wasn't Nico's responsibility, he doesn't need anything else on his mind.
"Just, take a break every now and then, I swear you're always working."
"Actually Kayla's ban me from working for the rest of the week soooooo."
"Good, you need it. Wait does that mean I don't get to see you for a week?"
"Nope, you can't get rid of me that easily. Apparently I'm too much of a simp for that, but I have a feeling she's timing it to make sure I don't spend the whole day here."
"I can see that happening, but you need a break so she is completely right."
"I really hate you sometimes di Anglo."
"I know." He whispers, blowing the son of Apollo a kiss.
"Solace, times up!"
"Better go Sunshine, also... I'll try journaling, I don't know if it'll help but I'll try."
"I'm proud of you Neeks," He ruffled his hair before pressing a soft kiss to his lips, he kissed him back, wrapping his hands around his neck."I'll see you soon."
***
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supercalime · 1 day
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I can’t believe I found people who think about this the exact same way as I do. I don’t get these hardcore buddie stans who suddenly try to make it look like buckTommy shipper are the toxic ones. I haven’t seen a single BuckTommy shipper who was rude without a reason (maybe a bit defensive about their CANON ship). Whereas I’ve seen plenty of incredibly toxic buddie stans who insult everyone who doesn’t ship their ship or share their opinions.
Another thing and don’t get me wrong Im not defending anyone. But I’ve seen many people heavily bullying the marisol actress because she’s apparently homophobic (not saying she isn’t or is) and wanting her to be gone beacause of this reason but totally ignore the alleged racism of ryan (again not saying he is racist or not, i dont know them personally) just because he is part of their beloved ship. By their logic Ryan should leave the show too.
Hey anon, it took me some time to answer your ask (chaotic life stuff lol) but I’m glad to finally have time to talk about this first part with you.
I’ll preface by saying I won’t get involved in actor drama, no matter how true or toxic it is because I don’t have enough information nor am I qualified to talk about the issues they mishandled. I’ll just say that, no matter who does bad things, they should be held accountable.
Okay, back to the main point: yes, it’s very strange how b*ddie st*ns are behaving towards the canon bi!buck thing. Both with people who ship bucktommy but also with the creators and actors on the show. Regardless if they are right or not about b*ddie being canon, this is not how you act with entertainment, specially with the people giving the content.
I hate to bash but it looks and sounds a lot like a toddler throwing a tantrum because they didn’t get a specific toy.
And toddlers only throw tantrums because they are brand new humans who are learning how to behave. They don’t know any better so they react with outbursts and repeated demands because it’s the only way they know to get the attention of the person taking care of them.
If I’m not mistaken, the main audience for the show is 18-45. NO ONE here should be yelling in comment sections “we want buddie! we want buddie! we want buddie!” as if they would immediately get it. It’s not how it works and it’s frankly embarrassing to see a bunch of adults acting like that for everyone to see.
And I can’t stress it enough, I’m not putting myself on a high ground here and saying I’m a better person by shipping bucktommy, as I’m sure there might be a percentage of fans out there being rude and annoying as well. But at least I’m keeping my conscience clear by not acting like me shipping two characters is something big enough in my life to ruin my enjoyment of a whole show in case my favorite ship doesn’t become canon.
I hate how fandoms behave as if they can have control over the content they are consuming. We aren’t entitled to anything and if there is supposed to be ANY discourse about which character was supposed to end with, that should happen AFTER the show ended! The story isn’t over yet! So why are b*ddie st*ns so stressed? If a show is making you this angry and demanding, please step aside a little, give it some distance because that’s not how consuming content is supposed to make you feel.
And I say that last part with sincerity because I too got way too involved with fandom discourse in the past, to the point that I had to distance myself from certain shows because being that involved made me upset.
Im just tired at this point you know. Im trying to protect myself as much as possible. Im not in the bird app, I don’t follow the show or the actors on social media, im avoiding interviews like the plague. All I want from this experience is to watch the show, gather my thoughts, form my opinions, log onto tumblr and reblog the cute stuff I see about my favorite ship without having to worry about whatever the hell is going on outside my pretty little bubble
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ellecdc · 1 day
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Mother, serious question mainly for my own self-esteem 😮‍💨😅
How do you think the boys (any of them really) would view a partner with like all sorts of facial piercings and like rat tails in their hair and funky colors(truly best describes as a queer little gremlin lol). Cause I know Marlene and Sirius have an alt rock aesthetic (I don't think I spelled that right) but as much as I love these characters I never feel like I would have fit in with them if I was really there ya know?
Idk it's kinda stupid but just curious on you're thoughts on this. They're just so cool and I would hope they would like me enough to at least be my friend if they were real 😮‍💨😖
okay first of all, love the title queer little gremlin; let's all capitalize those letters and add them to surveys when they ask you how you identify plsss??
Here's my take:
James:
I love (and follow religiously) the headcanon that James is pansexual but I believe that expands beyond just gender identity, if that makes sense?
It doesn't matter if you're male or female or anywhere in between or beyond or both or all
and I feel like it doesn't really matter what you look like to him
I feel like he loves people for their hearts, their minds, their interests, etc
I feel like he'd maybe be worried because....those had to hurt??? you do that on purpose? doesn't it hurt terribly? his poor sweet angel????
I also see him as the type of bf who would be like "oh! are we changing colours? which one's? can I help?" and will dutifully like, adorn gloves and sit in the bathroom breathing in dye fumes and chatting away with you while the two of you talk about everything and nothing - I think he'd love spending that time with you and it would be special bonding time
(also, have you seen the James fan art with him with a nose ring??? fuck me sideways)
Sirius:
you're so right re: alt-rock aesthetic etc
I think he'd find the facial piercings awesome tbh, you might even have inspired him to get one or more of his own
I think he'd make it almost a competition of who can dress the most grunge that day hahaha - but the two of you would make quite the couple
also? you look like the kind of person his posh, prissy, stuck up parents would hate seeing him with - that's totally a bonus
I see this guy as someone who loves hair care and would be horrified at how much/often you change your hair colour and would insist on helping you/buying the more expensive products/ensure you're doing it right to save your hair from too much damage
that's the only 'problem' I see him having
Remus:
idk, I kind of see him a little bit like James tbh; looks would be a little less important to him? like he doesn't care how you express yourself in terms of style and clothes
what would be important to him is that you're kind and patient, that you're openminded and considerate of others
I mean...he's littered with scars, is he not? He doesn't exactly look "normal" (derogatory) and would probably feel very similar to what you've described; like he doesn't feel he particularly 'fits in' with his friends
I see him having like, not long hair but like a decent head of curls, and he'd totally love if you braided a few little pieces of his hair like your 'rat tails'
I think he'd find the hair fun; you'd show up one day with new colours and I could see his face lighting up like 😃 "that looks great love; so fun"
Regulus:
he's tricky because he's so posh and stuck up lmfao
BUT
people also ship bartylus and I see so much Barty fan-art somewhat similar to how you've described yourself and if Reg likes Barty - he'd certainly like you too
Barty:
as mentioned above, I could totally see him having like a green streak in his hair or something
perhaps some piercings (I think he'd get piercings down below.....), tongue piercing, nose piercing, eyebrow piercing - I feel like he'd be down for it all himself, so he wouldn't mind it on you at all either
and again, as a guy with daddy issues, he'd be a lot like Sirius and think the better chance he has at dating someone who would sooooo piss of his dad - the better!
thanks for your ask babes <3
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Text
These Strings That Bind Us
first chapter; previous chapter
So this is the first chapter of this fic that I’ve posted since a few of my irl friends have started following me and now they get to see the crazed fanfiction maniac I am and I don’t know if they’re ready.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
chapter 3:
Nico scanned the room he was left in. He knew logically that he was safe. That he was allowed to be… gay. And that the people that just overheard his conversation with Percy likely didn’t hate him for it.
They probably do hate you though. Even you can’t like yourself.
He just… didn’t like that knowledge to be floating around. 
It was then, after observing all the sleeping and uninterested patients that he saw the face of a particular blonde peering through a corner. 
“Hey. Sunshine. I see you.” Nico said trying to mask his worry. 
How long had he been there?
Will exhaled a laugh. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to… stalk…? I was going to check up on you but you were talking with Percy and I did to want to interrupt.”
“How much did you overhear?” Nico asked, deciding to cut to the point. 
Will turned pinker. “Nothing! I swear I wasn’t trying to listen into your conversation. I was just watching,” he said getting redder. “I mean-! I wasn’t like ‘watching’ watching. But I was also not listening. I was just waiting for an opening is all. So I could check up on you. Because that’s what I’m here to do right now. Check up on you that is.”
Will snapped his mouth shut, trying to stop the word-vomit from getting worse. He had a flight-or-flight look in his eyes, as if how Nico responded would be the deciding factor in how this interaction went. He wished Will hadn’t stopped. He couldn’t pin down the exact reason why he liked hearing that incoherent mess of speech, but he did. It took a bit longer for him to realize that while he was brain was occupied by the rambling of the boy across from him, it was too full to waste energy on worrying. 
Nico tried -really tried- to think of something comforting or cringe-reducing to say but he could help it when a laugh slipped out. 
And another. And one more. And five seconds later he was miserably failing to stifle his giggles with his left hand. 
“Wha-“ Will started. “What is it? Are you ok?Did one of my siblings but you on laughing gas or something? It was Kayla wasn’t it?!”
This made Nico laugh even harder. “Oh gods no. You’re just really weird. In a good way. You kept on saying more and it made it get worse and worse.” He laughed again. “Thank you for that. Holy hades I needed a good laugh.”
Will didn’t even flinch when Nico described his little speech as pathetic. If anything, it seemed to make him more confident. Composed. “Well I’m glad you feel joy at my expense,” he said rolling his eyes. “And you have a pretty laugh too. I like hearing it.” He smiled at Nico, his gaze moving to the glow between them. 
Oh right. 
Stop getting comfortable. Especially with him. 
Nico shifted in his seat, moving so his arms are crossed with his left ring-finger covered by his arm. He failed to avert his gaze from Will’s disappointed eyes. 
See? Even if it weren’t wrong, you could never be with him. You fail everybody, and Will is no different. 
A few beats of silence. 
“So uh… checkup?” Nico suggested. 
“Yes! Right. Let me just…” he trailed off. Something about clipboards and procedures that Nico did not have to energy nor interest to pay attention to. 
Will got the information he needed. Apparently a lot of Nico’s story was already in the documents.
“Like I said: I know your history,” Will stated with faux-intimidation. Nico rolled his eyes. 
When they got to the physical checkup Nico started getting jittery. He felt awkward saying something to Will about it, but he really didn’t like being touched so much. Especially because Will’s hands were so… methodical. It was bringing him back. 
To the times of your torment? Good. Revel in it. In the feeling of pain. Relive it all. Maybe if you look tortured enough somebody will even pity you. Why do you think you want that so badly? You know how hard it is to be yourself. Trying to share that burden with somebody else is plain selfish. 
Will noticed. Probably. He didn’t point it out, but he tried to lighten the mood, albeit with terrible references to things Nico did not have the current cultural knowledge to understand. 
Something about Nico being “Mr. Perfectly Fine” when asked about he was feeling. Or responding to Nico’s remarks about his werewolf scratches with saying, “oh! ‘Tis but a flesh wound I see!” (He seemed really proud of himself with that one). And he kept calling Nico a “padawan”?  What even was that?
Yet, despite the utter confusion that had overtaken Nico, it was a good distraction. Will had or hadn’t brought a laugh out of him a couple of times. Nico was or was not starting to feel a lot more comfortable, especially with Will around. 
And the string they shared absolutely was not glowing more warmly with each passing moment they spent together.  Of course not. Never. 
~~~
After that checkup, Nico offered to help around the infirmary. He did this, of course, hoping that his complete lack of any medical knowledge and “aura of death” would be enough for Will to refuse the offer.
He did not. 
Figures. 
What Will did do however, was introduce anyone and everyone imaginable to Nico. Whether that be random patients, his siblings, his Roman siblings that he (being the social-magnet-golden-retriever that he was) had gotten close with after the war, or some poor soul that happened to be within the vicinity of the two of them. It was weird. Nico didn’t know how to feel. Nobody had treated him like a person they could show others to. He was usually hidden away. Chose to keep himself hidden away. 
Nico was starting to like being seen though. It helped that Will was there too. Unlocking the prison of isolation Nico had made for himself and dragging him into interactions when they were in the middle of filing paperwork. When he introduced Nico to a new person, he almost sounded proud. Like knowing Nico was something they could envy about Will. 
“Oh hey [person] have you met my friend Nico?” Will would say. “Yeah he’s the coolest kid in camp! Go on Nico say hi,” pride radiating from his voice. “We met a few days ago when he almost stabbed me haha. He really saved my skin out there. Even if he was seconds away from passing out while doing it.”
Nico would never admit it, but he kind of liked the attention Will was giving him. It was as if Will’s words of affirmation were able to fight off the self-doubt demons would otherwise occupy much of Nico’s thoughts. 
Not only that, but he also liked meeting people. 
Yes. Him. Nico di Angelo. The son of Hades. Well known social recluse. Enjoying the communion of others. 
Was that new? He thought he was an introvert to the core. The idea of people was supposed to make him want to hide under a rock a perish. Was it just that he was so much of a social outcast that he fooled himself into thinking that?
Dear gods, he was not going to spend the time going down that rabbit hole any further. 
Nico felt a tug on his string finger. Will had started doing that in order to touch Nico without touching him. Nico hadn’t decided yet how he felt about it. Well, his heart obviously had, but he’s choosing to ignore that stubborn organ in all matters pertaining to Will. He looked up, slowly bringing himself back to reality. 
Back to the storage/office room they were (as Will had put it) “chillin’” in. Back to the smell of antiseptic spray and old files. Back to the blonde idiot staring into his soul, seemingly trying to solve a puzzle. 
“…what?” Nico broke the silence. 
Will stared for a beat longer. “You were staring off into space for a while. Are you ok?”
He thought for a moment too long. 
“Yes,” was the response Nico decided on. 
Will stared even deeper with a curious look. “…ok… sure. What were you thinking about then?”
Nico was just about to bark out a basic response of “oh nothing”, or something like that, but he stopped himself. He didn’t need to hold himself back. Not when Will was looking at him in that eager and open way that he does. 
“I was thinking about how much in my life has changed,” since you entered into it, “in the past few days.”
Maybe he didn’t say the whole truth, but Will was enough to make him no outright lie. 
“Really?” Will backed off some, face turning from questioning frown to genuine smile. “How so?”
Oh. So this was gonna be some cheesy heart-to-heart, was it? Nico was not opposed to that idea. He looked back up at Will’s bright expectant eyes. 
He actually rather liked the idea.
He talked to Will. He was trying to keep it short (Will was always busy) but the more he talked, the more they kept talking. And talking. And talking. Somehow they moved from life the last few days to life in the past few years. Family, in all possible definitions of the word. Friends, in all their shades, hues, and complexities. Enemies, in all their surprising humanity. 
Will’s voice changed depending on what he was saying. He slurred together his words when they were talking about old interests. He would pause or stutter when they transitioned to deep topics, and slowed down when they got comfortable there. His voice got all jittery and slightly more high pitched when he was excited about something. 
And the way he listened… the way it felt like he hung onto every word Nico said like it was written in scripture…
Nico kept wondering when Will would leave. He would find some excuse about having to check up on a patient, or outright say he didn’t want to stay there. 
Wouldn’t want to stay with you. Why would anyone want to spend time with you. You’re boring him and he will leave you—
But Will hasn’t left. How long has they been there? They sat down on a nearby desk a while ago. Will was still with him. 
Will, talking about his mom and how much he misses her. Will, listening to Nico’s stories of his childhood in Italy. Will, leaning into the beats of silence that would occasionally fall between them with a rare comfort. Will, inching closer to Nico with each passing second. Will, making their string glow impossibly brighter with the effect he had on Nico. Will, coiling the string around his fingers until there was no space between his and Nico’s hands. Will, cutting himself off mid-sentence just to graze Nico’s hand. 
Will. Will. Will. 
How long had it been? It was dark outside. Not that Nico cared. In the moment all that Nico cared about was right by his side, chatting animatedly, listening with care, leaning against Nico as he got more tired. Nico couldn’t imagine falling asleep now. His heart was beating so fast one would think he was about to be killed by some monster. 
For some reason this moment felt more important than any of those past life-or-death experiences. He was safe. Nobody was in danger. But all those times he was fighting to live. Now he’s living to be alive. 
With Will. 
He looked over at the boy now resting on his shoulder and smiles. His mouth slightly open and he’s just barely snoring. It’s adorable. Nico’s heart warms with affection. 
Affection. He liked using that word in this moment. He smiled. 
He liked using that word for Will. 
~~~
The Apollo Cabin did not cut him any slack when he brought a sleeping Will back in a bridal carry late into the night.
~~~
“Hey! It’s Mr. Perfectly Fine!” Will exclaimed to his siblings when Nico had entered the infirmary office. 
Nico had caught a glimpse of Will hunched over his desk, with an exhausted expression written on his face just as Nico had walked in. It seemed like he was talking to his siblings, Kayla and Austin, about how he can “totally handle all this work” and that he’s “not burnt out”. They however, were willing to drop that conversation to snicker at Nico regarding whatever it was Will had just said. 
“Seriously? You have no other jokes,” Nico retorted. “What is that referencing? I’m convinced you’re making it up at this point.”
“Oh please, at this point it’s your fault for not being a part of the Taylor Nation,” Kayla chimed in. 
“I’ve been here for two days!”
Kayla crossed her arms. “That’s two whole days of Taylor Swift that you could have been listening to.”
Nico rolled his eyes and looked to Austin, the one person left who hadn’t taken a side against him.
“What?” He responded. “They’re right. All the effort you’ve made to avoid Taylor Swift is really some Kanye behavior.”
Nico hated his past self. Why did he decide to start hanging out with the Apollo Cabin? They were one mess of snarky comebacks joined together by their obsession over various musicians. 
“I’ve been helping out! Would you really rather have me be wasting oxygen while listening to Swift?” Nico asked the cohesive mass. 
“Yes!” They all shouted in (a partially harmonized) unison. 
Nico groaned and sat on the chair he had placed next to Will’s desk the last time he was in this office. He’s only been here for three days and yet he has a spot for him. Next to Will. 
The siblings talked about some infirmary stuff. Work schedules, post-war stuff, some new Roman ailments they learned about. Nico tuned it out, picking at his hangnails. 
Some time later, the door Nico had just come through slammed open with an uninterested Drew Tanaka on the other end. 
“Hey shitheads! I need drugs!” She said. 
Nico raised an eyebrow at her and turned to look at Will, hoping he would translate. 
Without looking up from his desk, Will rolled his eyes and said, “Sweet baby Zeus, can’t you just say ibuprofen like a normal person?”
He pushed back on his chair to get up, but Kayla pushed him right back. 
“Nuh-uh. I’ve got this. You stay here and take a break with your,” she looked at Nico, “dude-best-friend.” She winked at him.  
She headed out the door, with Drew on her heels. 
The three left in the room looked at each other. A silent conversation played out between Will and Austin that lasted for much longer than a silent conversation has any right to last. Nico was glad to not be involved in it, whatever it was. 
Austin sighed. “I guess I’ll go with them to make sure they don’t blow anything up.” 
“Again,” Will added. 
With a quick finger-gun-snap to his brother, Austin left. 
The door creaked it as it closed. 
“Wait,” Nico put his elbows on the desk. “How many explosions have they caused?” He thought for a second. “How do they even cause explosions to happen?”
He waits for a second more. Will is writing something down. Nico probably shouldn’t have interrupted by talking. He needed to be more conscious about his actions. Especially now that he is friends with Will. What was it Kayla said? “Dude-best-friend”? Yeah. He needed to be a better dude-best-friend. Not that they were “best friends”. It was probably just some slang or something. If they were even considered to be best-
Thunk. 
Will face-planted onto his desk. 
“Shit.” How long had he been working? “Are you ok?” 
Will held up a hand to give a thumbs-up before dropping it back down to his desk. Will started snoring. 
Nico knew there was a right way to react to this. Will probably had the answer for him. But Nico couldn’t find it in himself to do anything but stare. Stare and think. Like he was moving in slow motion but the rest of the world wasn’t kind enough to take note.
Was this normal for Will? Did he just collapse at his desk from time to time? No. He was always preaching his gospel of “taking care of yourself” and whatnot. This had to be a one-off thing. 
He’s probably fine, right? Sure, he’s probably a little bit burnt out, but it’s not life and death or anything. 
Yeah good idea. Bury your problems. Maybe one day you’ll share a grave with them.
How could he even think like that? “Not life and death,” so many things are not life and death but they are still worth worrying about. 
Nico is a terrible friend. He needs to be worrying more about Will. Will needs help. 
And how the hell do you expect to help him? Name one time you weren’t a burden to somebody. Every time you try to do something it fails. Just stop. 
Gods. He was pathetic. His friend was passed out in front of him, and he was standing there, frozen. He should do something. He needed to do something. He just. He- he had to-
You always let people down. You’re too pitiful to help anyone. 
No! He could help! 
Will laid there fully unaware of the warfare happening in Nico’s mind. Someone looking in would likely find his state of rest to look peaceful. He was just a tired kid doctor in a tiny room filled with papers and files. 
Outside that room was a couple of teenagers bickering about ibuprofen and explosives. It was a conversation severely lacking in context for the onlookers not in said conversation. 
Even further beyond there were children doing dangerous and mundane activities. Somewhere a kid first encountered a monster. A man proposed to his girlfriend to the joy of an entire restaurant. A man proposed to his boyfriend to the shock, disgust, and joy of a small park. A child wrote a letter that never got read to her father fighting in a war. A species that was never discovered went extinct. A group of teenagers got high on the roof of a parking lot. A tired mother decided to quit smoking for the third time that year. A grandparent met their first grandson. 
And back in that small room with too much paper and a sleeping boy, a damaged kid sees nothing but the worst of it. 
Nico’s mind is a tunnel with no light at the end; flashing horrors crowding it out and letting no logic or hope in. 
This was life-or-death. If Nico didn’t do something, he would be responsible for whatever happened to Will. 
Will would know what to do. If Nico just knew Will better. If he just payed a bit more attention while Will worked. He must have been a terrible friend, having not cared enough to know how to handle this. 
Finally, something you’re right about. 
Gods! How could he even be drowning in this self pity now? Will needed help. He needed… caffeine? An intervention? He needed something and Nico needed to help. He could help. He needed to help. He needed-
His hand met a warmth. He looked down to see his and Will’s hands touching. Nico didn’t know when he started reaching for his hand. He let it sit there for a few beats of tense, heavy, warm silence. 
His fingers moved without his consent to gently coil their string. 
People say that, for soulmates, strings are able to pass emotions. The way one touches their string and the feeling they have while holding it are felt by the person on the other side. 
Nico could… send some comfort? The thoughts would have made him laugh in any other circumstance. Him. Being the bringer of comfort. But in this instance, he could. There wasn’t anything else he coulddo. 
No you cannot. You will lead yourself to heartbreak. 
Will groaned. Nico flinched. 
His hand twitched to reach out. To let Will know that “I’m here”. That “you can talk to me”. 
You can’t do that. 
He couldn’t do that though. 
You don’t know how to comfort people. 
He didn’t even know how to comfort people. 
Just look in front of you, you let this happen under your watch. 
He’d let this happen. 
And here you are thinking to yourself instead of doing anything. 
Gods! He just needed to focus. Think of some solution.
Just think! Just think! Just think! Just-
A door opened and Nico’s throat dropped, feeling like he had been caught doing something he shouldn’t have done. Which was stupid. He knew that. 
He uselessly held his hands up and backed up, turning to the door. His body was frozen as thoughts of the thousands of ways the next few seconds could go all competed for his attention. He was a deer in the headlights, weakly looking past the person who was on the other end of the door. They looked at the scene in the room and raised an eyebrow.
“Nico? What happened?” Austin asked. 
Austin! Thank the gods! He can-
“Help.” Nico creaked. “I don’t know what happened. Will, he…” Nico cut himself off. His throat was so choked up it was barely letting him say anything. It hurt. He didn’t realize he was this close to tears. 
Fucking baby. 
Austin rushed to his brother’s side and after a few moments sighed a breath of relief. “He’s fine. Just exhausted.” He took a few moments to give Nico a worried look. “Are you fine?”
Nico couldn’t respond. His body was still in fight-or-flight mode. He could only hear the pounding of his heartbeat, so strong it was like it was coming directly from his ears. There was to much happening. He just needed to calm down. He also had to respond. He had to look normal. He had to help with- 
“Everything is fine.” The mantra he repeated in his mind. “He’s just exhausted. He’s ok. I’m ok.” 
No you’re not. No he’s not. 
Austin just confirmed that there was nothing to worry about.
You just don’t care enough about Will to keep worrying for him. 
“I’m ok,” he finally responded, voice even more shaky. 
Austin made a doubtful look and walked over to a shelf, pulling out some ball. He handed it to Nico, placing it in a hand he had not realized was shaking until then. He squeezed it and it was cushiony, but firm. 
“Breathe with me,” Austin said simply. 
And they breathed together. Slowly in.  Holding it. Slowly out. Holding it. 
After a minute or so he asked “would you mind if I brought Kayla here too?”
Shrugging, Nico lied. “I don’t mind. I’m fine really.” Although he didn’t know why he was still trying. 
“No, you’re not.”
Austin steps out of the room and sticks his head out the door, peering down the corridor. “Kayla!”
Nico heard a muffled, “What?! I’m busy!”
Again shouting back, “Just come over here please!”
Some shuffling. Some footsteps. “What’s up?”
Austin stepped aside and let her view the scene. Her eyes softened and she walked over towards where Nico stayed standing. 
“Oh Gods Nico, what’s wrong?” She asked him. 
He tried for a dry laugh. “Nononono I’m fine. I was just a little-“ he choked. He hopelessly tried to steady his voice. “Just a little worried for Will is all.”
Kayla’s eyes immediately went wide with panic at the mention of his brother’s name. “What happened? Is he ok?” She looked over to his desk. 
Austin stepped up to his sister, putting a hand on her arm. “He’s alright Kay. Just a little exhausted,” he said. They looked like they were having a silent conversation for a moment after that ended when they both looked back at Nico. 
“Do you want to sit and talk for a bit?” Austin eventually asked. 
“It doesn’t have to be about anything important,” Kayla added. “Or anything at all. Like, if you need silence with company we got you. Or silence without company. Or company without silence. Or any other combination. Or some other secret option. Or-“
“Company without silence is just the first choice you said,” Austin interrupted
Kayla thought for a second. “It is, isn’t it? It feels like there should be more combinations of those words though.”
“No company with no silence.”
“Ok but does that actually make any sense? Unless you talk to yourself professionally you wouldn’t be alone and without silence.”
“I would say that I can be alone without silence. I’m an interesting guy, I have fun talking to myself.”
“Yeah well, you’re just lonely so-“
A laugh escaped from Nico. They both looked at him. 
“Sorry,” he said, for once with a steady voice. “The way you guys talk to each other is really funny to watch.” It reminded him of how he was with Bianca when they were younger. They used to argue all the time, sometimes escalating into screaming matches. Their mother would always step in and say something wise and meaningful that completely went over Nico and his sister’s heads. If Bianca were both alive now, would it be like this? Would their arguments not be out of malice but sibling love? What would that have looked like with them?
Kayla rested an arm on her brother’s shoulder as he looked at her with fake disgust. “We are, aren’t we?” She asked him. 
“I really don’t think you’re ‘funny’. If anything funny looking.”
Kayla walked over to a circular table and sat down. “Oh please. I’m the hottest sibling. No contest.”
Austin followed her, taking a seat for himself. “If that��s what you want to believe, I will let you continue living with that lie.”
Kayla scoffed and looked back at Nico. “Wanna join the order of the round table?”
Yes. 
“I uh… Are you sure it won’t get in the way of,” he waved his hand around at the general vicinity, “infirmary duties?”
“Not really,” Austin answers. “We did rounds this morning and everybody just needs more time to heal with the meds and magic,” which he embellished with spirit fingers, “and we already gave them their afternoon doses. Unless there’s some random emergency-“
“Or Drew comes back demanding drugs again,” Kayla added. 
“Or that, then we’re just chilling.”
Nico wanted to say yes.
Don’t fool yourself kid. They don’t want you there. You’re just being a burden. They seem to be having a great time without-
Nico squeezed the ball. He moved to the table. He smiled and they smiled back. 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Author’s Note:
thank you so much for reading!! To that one person who commented on my last fic saying they needed more: thank you specificially. And I’m sorry specifically for you because the wait for the next one is going to be worse than a cartoon hiatus. Tho I’m actually going to be spending that time writing instead of feeling guilty for not writing to that’s a win. also I have an Ao3 now so that’s cool
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camellcat · 3 months
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WTFFF I thought thirteen would be my new girl crush love of my life heart eyes wife you-came-after-twelve-you-must-be-better-than-they're-all-saying bbygirl and then I had to sit down and watch as she told a man who (if he were not a murderer, of course) literally every regeneration before her would've LOVED and FULLY SUPPORTED that "the systems aren't the problem. how people use and exploit the system, that's the problem. people like you" </33333 !?!?
#WHERE IS THAT POST THAT SAID NINE WOULD KILL THIRTEEN FOR BEING A CLASS TRAITOR#WHY WOULD YOU SAY “ERODE PEOPLE'S TRUST IN AUTOMATION” ALL WORRIED AND CONCERNED LIKE THAT???#WHEN DID YOU START LIKING AUTOMATION OVER PEOPLE THINKING AND DOING THINGS FOR THEMSELVES???#AND WHY ARE YOU TRAVELING WITH A COPPER??? WE HATE COPPERS??????#did we FORGET into the dalek?? how about how he treated danny?? god there's so much more I can't even remember off the top of my head#(I understand soldiers are different from cops but c'mon don't even PRETEND twelve would've been any nicer if blue or danny were just COPS)#also a bit off topic bUT MAY I JUST TALK ABOUT ARACHNIDS IN THE UK FOR HALF A GODAMNED SECOND—#I know the companions are usually the ones to do the doctor's dirty work here but like#I just can't see the other doctors NOT having the business man lure the spider for being so fuckin annoying about it#like I was genuinely surprised when they had him do that whole song and dance about not doing it and then he actually just. didn't do it#the doctor LOVES fucking with evil rich business men this is PERFECT. plus why not get back at him for being awful to their companions?#absolutely gobsmacked thirteen let him act like that. I am wrong in thinking that the others would've shut his shit down a LOT quicker??#anyways. I love jodie whittaker and it's just so upsetting to have her doctor do something so wildly off#THIRTEEN PLEASE I HAD SUCH FAITH IN YOUUU I WAS IGNORING THE HATERS AND FOR WHAT#I can SEE the other doctors in her still I can FEEL them they're there she's doing an AMAZING job but. oh my god. what did they make her do#I can't even say she feels ooc as a whole because jodie is bloody brilliant. it's just these... moments. that don't make ANY sense to me...#especially coming off of twelve?? I get the radical personality switch but that belief is a core part of the doctor. or at least I THOUGHT#thirteenth doctor#doctor who#I still love all of you who love her and reading ur posts/fics but I. will not be making any myself. I do not think.
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steelthroat · 2 months
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for the astrology ask game taurus, sagittarius aaand 9h ƪ(˘⌣˘)ʃ
Hallooo!
Okkk let's see:
-Taurus: mhh sushi and pizza....but I love fruit more than anything. Especially that kind of super sweet grape used to make wine *smuah* and apples. And lemons, I love lemons.
Also jelly, it doesn't matter which kind of jelly I just love it a lot... God I want some jelly now whyyyyy
Hmm idk I love food it's one of the best pleasures in the world. So yeah idk I love all the food ✨️✨️ I will be the joy of your grandmas, I will never deny them.
- places I'd like to visit in the future:
Ireland and Scotland: please they're beautiful and so rich of history and things to see and the nature and and-
France: I love France a lot... and admitting this just made me lose my Italian citizenship. I also hate it for its politics and many other stuff... but God isn't it beautiful.
Mexico! I've wanted to go there since I was little! My parents went there for their honeymoon, I fell in love with it when I watched the "Beverly hills chihuahua" movie (you can laugh ahshfhfhfh) and the culture and places look so interesting and beautiful to me! And I know about all the problems etc but still a beautiful place that deserves to be seen and treasured imo
Japan: I am very curious about it. More than the cities I'd like to visit the countryside, the semi-forgotten spots, because I've seen some pictures and it's absolutely breathtaking.
Greece: THE HISTORY! THE ART! THE CULTURE! THE ISLAND WITH THE CATS! Please I could finally see all the things I studied/am studying!!!!
Spain: I'm going there just for "casa batllò" and anything touched by Gaudí, because my love for that man is endless.
Whatever place has more examples of brutalist architecture. I love brutalism. Talk to me about brutalism. Best architectural style ever and I'm dying on this hill.
9h- what languages would you like to learn
ALL OF THEM. No seriously, I love learning new languages and unlocking new thinking patterns (it comes with the package!!!). Atm I can speak fluently Italian and English and with a bit of practice also Spanish (I haven't practiced it for the last 2 years and I'm a bit rusty with the speaking, but reading and listening I'm fine).
But also I want to learn French and German, they're my top priorities.
If I get the occasion I'm going for Russian, Chinese and Japanese too! Haaaaah if I hadn't chosen Art (and writing) as my main passions I would have chosen to study Languages and Etymology!!
ALSO SIGN LANGUAGE (idk which one but the feeling is there)
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radelenagreco · 4 months
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i'm #newtoradblr i've spent so much time these past two weeks scrolling through radfem blogs i knew i had to make an actual radfem side of tumblr blog for my own sanity. the way i "peaked" is kinda funny 3-4 months ago i liked a radfem post without realizing and all of a sudden i had other radfem posts recommended to me by the algorithm and i was so annoyed because i was very anti-terf etc but for a couple days i read through a bunch of radfem blogs and it was actually such a relief to encounter FEMINISM not some watered down version of it but i felt guilty due to 5+ years of conditioning (and also because i had a nonbinary friend sitting right next to me in class as i was doing this) and i also didn't like the prominent use of the word moid? but anyway, 3 months later, i'm not sure why but the mra nature of the trans movement has grown so much more apparent to me i have like three mutuals who are trans men on my other blog and i would find myself rereading the few feminist posts i would reblog/write because these people are literally reblogging shit like "don't think like a terf. men aren't your oppressors, they're your friends/neighbors/brothers/fathers. if you think that any man could harm you you have been fooled by terf rhetoric" like actual morons/meninists. anyway two weeks ago i saw a post made by someone i knew was a radfem on my twitter tl and i don't know why i knew i was ready i went through her blog and through many others and now here i am.
#still dislike the word moid i know it's in response to 4chan people saying shit like femoid but it reads too much like a racist slur for me#to be cool with people saying it#i don't mean it reads like a racist slur towards men i mean it's way too reminiscent of the word negroid#it really made me think people were right about radical feminism being a gateway to being a conservative because...it literally feels#racist to me lmao i don't think i'll ever like it#gonna go follow the few blogs i followed on my main + others now#and i was actually always pretty radical in my feminism i was never what one would call a libfem i just wasn't A RadFem because i was into#the whole trans thing#it's different when you're not on tumblr/not exclusively interacting with trans people on the internet. people taking such an issue with#feminism and claiming that its most basic aspects (men oppress women) are transphobic and terf rhetoric is really only a thing on tumblr#and in those circles it's especially different when you're not talking in english#and i'm pretty sure everyone i follow on twitter supports trans people but the mra nature of trans right activism just has not hit them the#way it has hit tumblr they're still very normal about feminism it's actually so nice to go there and say i hate men with no caveat#the only people who would bother me if they came across my tweets saying that would be: cis men misogynists and people on the far right in#general#crazy that on tumblr it's the most leftist people i'd have to worry about hahaha...#ipost
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anaalnathrakhs · 2 months
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uh oh i feel like i have a deeply maladaptative response to people knowing Literally Anything about me it's fine it's fine i'm handling it very well
#constantly daydreaming about throwing my phone in the river n leaving a nice note for my parents and fucking LEAVING#but like#if i just stop talking to my friends#then what's the point#do i make new friends? will i do the same shit to my new friends?#it feels like kind of a dick move to do that to people i like#and i DO like them#i like hanging out w them and just. i don't know. i feel like this freedom i dream of is something i could have in this life yknow.#i feel if i had balls i could just start living the life i want#it's not even like my parents are dicks or something they trust me and they've very understanding and loving#they wouldn't judge me for how i dress or be mad if i stay out late as long as i warn them#but i dont know. i dont know why i'm a massive fucking weirdo about it okay.#but i've caused them so much trouble already. i feel like i'm betraying them if i grow up.#i feel like i'm causing them too much worry no matter if i stray away from the nest or stay.#and i feel like a fucking monster for not loving them enough but i can't stand being near them anymore#it's too painful#i've never managed to completely hate them even when i was deep in depression and they handled it poorly#i'd get into a screaming match with my dad and an hour later we'd sing songs together in the car#but it's been so dull lately. it feels like im in a video game. picking prewritten dialogue and being fed prewritten answers.#and WHY does this happen. why can't i just have a normal relationship with people#why do i turn into an alien on his first day on earth whenever i start caring abt someone#why are we so fucking abnormal as a family that we never goddamn hang out#why am i such an empty husk of a person that i cannot for the life of me figure out something we could do together#i keep believing in this fantasm of one day changing everything in one fell swoop instead of growing up like a normal guy#because i know i'm a coward. i'm scared of other people seeing me fail.#i dont want to hurt my parents ever again and i dont want to settle for halfway freedom#so i repress hardcore things i want so that nobody not even me can decipher what it is#smth smth the enormity of my desire disgusts me#and of course it fails because im weakshit and cannot restrict anything ever#and i hurt them anyway
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thschei · 3 months
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I swear I'm trying to type out the thing about my brain but I'm really not sure how much detail I feel comfortable going into... I used to be so open on here, but then uh, I had several big falling outs with friends and a couple of them started stalking me, so I left my blog on queue since 2014 and then stopped posting from 2016 to 2020. The only place I felt comfortable making posts relating to my personal life or mildly dissenting fandom-related posts was on a locked twt account with only 20-40 people on it.
Anyway, I'm Trying
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mach1ne-g1rl · 5 months
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i think if we all start being a bit more "annoying" and ourselves itll be easier for others to be themselves too
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maraeffect · 6 months
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there is literally not a worse feeling that exists than the feeling that you just annoy people.
#just doesn't exist. I'm so fucking isolated right now i absolutely hate it. and the people that ARE close to me?#i feel that i annoy them the most and one of them is actively pushing me away#i can't find anyone to be friends with me IRL here in Jersey. it's been almost nine months here#and I don't have a single IRL friend. i try online apps and support groups but nothing clicks#and the people that chat with me on the apps stop answering after 2 messages.#my own best friend of like 8 years won't even fucking talk to me. not bc she hates me or anything#but she is so fucking caught up in her own head that she literally avoids me. so that sucks!!#i know she's suffering bc she is so worried about me but. it's a really big slap in the face that#we've supported each other thru thick and thin the past 8 years. and i dropped everything for her more than once#but in my time of biggest need when I'm the most alone I've ever been in my adult life???#she cannot show up for me. that fucking sucks.#and I've distanced myself from my only close family bc they've severely mistreated me so.#all i have is my partner. who means the world to me and sacrifices so much to help me!!#but it comes at the cost of CONSTANTLY feeling like a huge fucking annoyance to the only person in my life#who is genuinely able to show that they love and care for me. that's literally awful to feel.#we just had our 5 year anniversary and i needed something really celebratory so badly.#and it didn't happen and our ''anniversary'' was just at home#and our official anniversary of starting dating is on veterans Day. and we won't even be in the same fucking region#so I'll be alone with my shitty family.#i hate it i feel so unappreciated and unwanted and like nothing about me is ever enough.#negative#audio
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