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knightyoomyoui · 11 months

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Dahyun x M Reader - “Everlasting Love”

HAPPY 50K READS TO THIS BOOK AND HAPPY 25TH BIRTHDAY TO OUR JJANG DUBLANGDUNGIE BABY SUPERHERO, KIM DAHYUN! #HAPPYDAHYUNDAY2023💞🎈🎉

New update with a new genre that I'll be trying here for the first time in my book! Pardon me if it's lacking magic, I still did my best to tell and explain the story clear and precise like I always do because that's what it matters the most for me.

Oh, and also. Beware because for sure, some of you while reading this would feel very uncomfy and sensitive at the "backstory" part. So... I have to put another trigger warning for you guys. Don't worry with th story being mixed with angst, because the ending itself anyway will be a fluff!

Lastly, you will be portraying here with a name "Yoon Seo-joon". This is also my first story here that you as a reader wouldn't be required to use your own name. Also, this is going to be narrated in a third-person perspective and one of my longest one-shots in this book.

TRIGGER WARNING: mentions of murder and rape.

A fine Saturday morning has became a start of another busy days for Detective Yoon Seo-joon when he received a duty calls coming from his station who assigned him a new case to work in.

Driving his Toyota Corolla Red 2018, he drove through the location where the said report originated. His car's acceleration slowed down, granting him to peek at the arch gateway that says "Gyeonggi-do", one of the villages here in the city of Seongnam, South Korea.

The guard performed a quick monitoring on him, immediately allowing him to enter when he presented the guard his police badge and license along with his own reason that concerns this place.

He continued to roll the wheel while keeping himself guided by the navigation map. Shortly after, the destination welcomes him as he finally arrived at this one particular spot where he could park his car safely while the person who wants to meet him is just right there waiting for him patiently.

Stepping out of the car, Seojun grasped his keys and took some belongings with him that would be needy in his investigation as he approached the villager anticipating to meet him.

"Glad that you agreed to spare some time for us to meet, detective. I'm Moon Hae-il.", the man initiated a handshake to the official who gratefully accepted.

"No worries, it's just simply part of my job to entertain some clients." Seojun smiled and gave a modest nod. "And I'm Detective Yoon Seojun, the one who will take over and help you with this report you sent to us."

"Thank you so much, detective. We are really in desperate need of assistance about this problem that currently occurs in our neighborhood here." Hae-il said with anxiety in his tone of voice.

"As what the report mentions here, you said that there's an ongoing disturbance being caused by one of the residents here that affects you and the others around here. Mind if you elaborate more? Like, what is this? Is this resident consist of a family who some sort of like fight often?"

"Actually, no detective." Hae-il shook his head, denying the guess. "They aren't a family. In fact, I don't even know how can I tell you this without being sounding... weird."

"What? Why did you think so?" Seojun furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"It's not a they, detective. It's just a single person. A she."

"And where's the weird part there?"

Hae-il didn't replied and instead gulped his throat. He sighed before looking again at Seojoon. "Just follow me please."

Seojoon squinted his eyes as he walked behind Hae-il still trying to process and wonder why does this villager seemed so bothered and nervous discussing about that certain matter. He observes the rest of the citizens who are just peacefully doing their random things while the others are looking at him and Hae-il, probably understanding what they're going to do today.

Hae-il and Seojoon stops in front of a locked huge metal gate that secures what it seems to be an unoccupied manor. The ambience is eerie and quiet, only the sounds of rustling trees, his and Hae-il breaths joining the whip of the cold wind and the gate being unlocked with a twist of the key.

The two entered the property. Seojoon quickly stated his observation at the situation around here. "Why did we just came here without the occupant's permission? Is she not at home?"

Hae-il paused his steps and slowly turned at Seojoon with a troubled expression. "That's the weird part, detective. She's here and definitely even right now, but... we couldn't see her."

Seo-joon became more puzzled, his frown deepened at what the complainant is pertaining. "What?"

"I'm telling you detective that, we are dealing with something paranormal here."

Seojoon's eyes largened as he stared at Haeil in disbelief after hearing that today's investigation to kickoff his new case to solve would be very unique and completely contrast to the previous ones he had before... because this time, the alleged suspect was revealed to be someone who doesn't truly exist anymore but the presence remains unrest.

"Wait wait, hold on." Seojoon chuckled, hands forward as he gestured on Haeil. "You're telling me that you made me come all the way here to ... to do not just an ordinary investigation for a criminal case, but a ghost hunting?"

"I-I told you it would be weird, and I'm not forcing you to help us detective but we would very appreciate if you do. This is something that puts us haunted every single night and we can't live pleasantly not when this keeps occuring." Haeil said, rising intonation of voice gets obvious with the way he's sounding like as if he's pleading for Seojoon to stay.

To be honest, Seojoon was hesitant to proceed with this case; since this is first time that he would face something like this alone and without any colleague to be there on his side; but hearing Haeil's actual condition along with the people of Gyeonggi about this phenomenon is effectively convincing him to learn more about this case and take the opportunity for a new experience to have.

He took this dream job of his with one purpose, and that is to serve and provide the need of assistance to people who rightfully needs it as soon as possible. Declining this case would make it feel for Seojun as if he's abandoning that responsibility and betraying his role that has been smooth and clean since the past few years when he became a detective.

Forming up his final decision, he sighed and looked at Haeil intently as he takes off his notepad and ballpen.

"Tell me more about it."

Haeil huffed in relief and tenderly smiled at Seojoon while clutching his hands together in result of a granted hope. "Thank you so much, detective! This means a lot to us." Seojoon just nodded, silently appreciating the grateful reaction to his service in response.

"So uhm to answer your question detective, some of us who lives near this house shared that they sometimes hear a screaming and wailing with a woman-like sound; which led us to think that the ghost who haunts this house is a woman."

"And they mostly hear it at night?"

"Yes."

Seojoon gritted his teeth, just imagining about it sends chills already down to his spine.

"What more instances they encountered this strange act?"

"Some residents who walked or pass through the entrance would just randomly hear a loud banging from the door, even their children told them that while they're playing few inches away from here, they said they had a glimpse of a shadowy figure of that woman standing in the window." Haeil additionally explained.

"Jesus, poor kids. They must be terrified." Seojoon reacted while he takes down notes in his notepad.

"Indeed they are. They became terrified too. Now barely all of us couldn't dare to stand close in this place, even me... but I don't have any choice. I own this so I had to."

"Wait, you are the landlord of this house and lot?"

"Yes, detective. This belongs to other properties that I own and sell in this village, but ofcourse; this turned out to be my most cursed possession." Haein said in dismay as he glances at the exterior of the structure. "I do admit that I'm planning to demolish this house, maybe to set that spirit free... but what I heard from their stories prompted me to hold it for a while, and that brought me here with you today detective."

"What did the residents mentioned to you also?"

"They said that they can specifically hear only one word throughout those screams that woman creates: help." Haeil said. Seojoon looked at him curiously. "So I figured that maybe... whoever that woman is, she's sending us signal in request to help her about something...

"Justice." Seojoon interrupted. "It's making sense to me now. You summoned me here to take the job by bringing that to whoever this woman who seems to be a lost soul of a victim that either coincidentally took place in your land."

Haein got shocked and nervous. "You're saying that... there's a possible crime of murder that happened here?"

"You don't know?"

"No. I have no idea, I truly believed that my house is perfectly fine and cozy for people who wants to live there... and they seem to be alright without any intentions of murdering somebody and stain blood on my property." Haeil neglected.

"There's more than meets the eye, Haeil." Seojoon reminded. "And looks can fool us anytime, because we couldn't read what they've been hiding deep inside that differs from what they show from the outside."

Seojoon steps closer at the staircase that leads to the door that has been barricaded with planks of wood. "From now on, I'm considering this to be a crime scene. Don't allow anyone to enter this place, I want you to guard this okay?"

"O-okay."

"And also... can you remove these for me? I would like to begin my investigation right now."

Haein got shocked, he went towards Seojoon with fear and worry in his eyes. "B-but detective? Are you sure about this?"

Seojoon released an assuring nod. "I'll be fine, Haein. I won't let myself be harmed not until we help that woman gets what she deserves."

"O-okay, detective. I'll be right back, I'll just gonna go get my tools." Haein excused himself before leaving Seojoon for a while, allowing the tensed yet prepared detective to remember he first set of informations he received that would hugely contribute to the unfolding of this mysterious case.

----------------------------------------------------

"Be safe, detective."

Haeil wished him luck before he lets Seojoon to enter the abandoned manor by himself while he remained outside to wait.

Bringing the flashlight with him, Seojoon switched it on and lights up the areas he peeks into as he began to examine the place. He checks all of the things, even the walls and the floor of every rooms.

The first floor was clear, Seojoon climbs to the next stage but just as he was in the middle of the stairs; he heard something that halted his footsteps and had his entire body shiver.

A sound of a woman humming softly can audibly heard slightly from one of the rooms upstairs.

Heartbeat rising, chest pounding, sweat dripping fast as Seojoon cautiously finished the last remaining set of steps before stepping in the second floor. He listened to the sound again and he noticed that the direction is coming from the left side, at the very end of the hallway.

"God, I pray for your protection. I lend you my trust to lure me away from danger." Seojoon muttered as he performed a sign of the cross before he deeply huffed and slowly trailed the path.

Directing the light to the doorway of the room, he observed that it was narrowly opened. The mix of discomfort and fright builds up inside of Seojoon. He breathed twice before courageously opened the door.

In his surprise as he entered, he didn't expected what happened next.

The famously talked ghost lady of the Gyeonggi village is standing face to face with him, near at the windows; wearing a complete white dress that almost identical to how pale her skin was.

She was standing there, looking straight at Seojoon who froze at what he's witnessing.

"I see you've been looking for me." the ghost lady said before she timidly smiled.

"H-holy shit, she's indeed here..." Seojoon whispered as he fell in the ground and stumbled at his movements while keeping his eyes in horror at her. The rumors in this village were true, because of that Seojoon has literally encountered a ghost for the first time in his whole life. The paranormal is real, he thought.

"W-wait! Don't go!" the lady pleads as she quickly slammed the door with an extraordinary force, preventing Seojoon to leave. "I won't hurt you, please."

"I-I won't, I swear. You don't have to do... that." Seojoon said while trembling, stunned at what the lady just did beyond natural in front of her. "I just came here to help and t-to look for you."

"H-help?" The lady repeated, unsure of what she just heard.

Seojoon nodded. "I am. The villagers called me here to investigate about your recent unusual activities that brings them unsettled, and we figured out that you must be in desperate need of help."

The woman suddenly choked in her tears as she covered her mouth. "H-help... oh my god, they heard me. They finally did."

"Yeah... and I'm here for you not to wait any longer. I'm here to offer you assistance by solving this case of yours. I just want you to do the same for me." Seojoon calmly replied.

The woman nodded and sniffed out her tears before wiping them off. Seojoon felt his heart ached at the sight of this poor woman. He didn't expected to feel this amount of sincerity and awfulness for whatever this lady has gone through that led her to be like this because of some horrible demise she faced before, especially when he couldn't disagree that this lady looks very pretty and carefree.

"I-I will help you. That's the only thing I want. I didn't intend to scare anyone, I just don't know how if I'm like this." the woman traced her appearance.

"I understand, and that's good to hear that you'll be cooperating. We'll solve this together, alright?" The woman nodded.

"I'm Detective Yoon Seojoon, what's yours?"

"D-Dahyun. K-Kim Dahyun."

The detective smiled in satisfaction, finally learning the identity of this ghost lady. "Nice to meet you, Dahyun. Standing here, meeting you personally... you don't look actually horrifying at all as what others might claim to be."

Dahyun removed her hands away from her face to look at Seojoon clearly while showing a little smile of appreciation to his compliment. "I like it, detective. Thanks for the kind words."

He looked at his wristwatch to monitor the time. "I guess this will do for now. I have to go home now, Dahyun but trust me, I'll be back here tomorrow to officially start investigating this case. Sounds good?"

Dahyun nodded her head and gently smiled. "It is. Goodbye and... thank you so much for doing this, detective."

"Just getting the job done, Dahyun. You're welcome and goodbye." Seojoon reciprocated Dahyun's smile before he opened the door and turn around to see Dahyun who is just watching his departure while still standing nicely in her position.

Seojoon left the manor with surreal feeling at everything that happened within a span of hours in his entire weekend. To summarize, he just opened up to volunteer a new case, arrived at the place where he met his client who informed him that it wouldn't be just a normal case... but rather a paranormal related one which is a first to his career and lastly, he freaking just met the same ghost lady that the village talks about and formed an alliance with her to find out who's behind of her mysterious death.

"Detective, how did it went?" Haein said as he hurriedly stood up from sitting in one of the rocks outside.

"I got enough of what I need for now. I'll return here tomorrow, so leave the door unlocked only for me, okay?" Seojoon commanded. Haein nodded in compliance.

The detective bid farewell as he rode his car and drove back to the police station where he slumped his head on the steering wheel for a moment to sink in everything that he confronted today before entering the said place.

He went to his office, placing out his notes and began typing on his computer to search for articles involving the disappearance of Kim Dahyun.

He did found some results and discovered that her friends filed a missing case 5 years ago, and the place that points to her last whereabouts was the exact house Dahyun's spirit remains trapped.

Due to this, it made Seojoon conifident that the house had a dark past that no one were able to know before; and the only one who can revisit despite how tragic and devastating it may be has to be the victim herself for the sake of closing the case in good terms.

Few days later, Seojoon returns to the village to visit the house and arrange another meetup with Dahyun. He couldn't help but to find it strange that he's literally talking with a ghost for an interrogation.

As he reached the front of the room where he saw Dahyun last time, he viewed her sitting on the floor and just staring weakly at the window, her arms placed atop of her knees.

Seojoon became aware of how lonely and exhausted Dahyun must've been day and night sending help to anyone who couldn't even see her with naked eyes while trapped alone.

This house became her prison for 5 years, and Dahyun doesn't deserve none of it. She just wants to be free, and Seojoon became motivated to do his best to grant what she desires.

"Hi, Dahyun." Seojoon greets her carefully, not wanting to surprise her and ruin her moment of silence.

She turned around, faced Seojoon and slowly stood up in which she greeted her back. "You did came back, detective."

Seojoon nodded. "I'm a man of my words."He strolled around the room and checked the furnitures and the interior design. "So yesterday, I did some research about you."

"What does it say?"

"There were news about your disappearance but it wasn't ruled that there's a killing involved. Your friends reported that to the police." Seojoon said, placing his hands on his pockets. "Do you remember some of your friends?"

Dahyun's face lit up. "Y-yes! I do, there are 8. Some of them were my classmates from the same campus, others aren't."

"Can you give me their names?"

"Im Nayeon, Yoo Jeongyeon, Hirai Momo, Minatozaki Sana, Park Jihyo, Myoui Mina, Son Chaeyoung and Chou Tzuyu." Dahyun enumerated. "But of all them though, Chaeyoung and Tzuyu were my first found and closest friends. They're the ones who introduced me to the rest."

"Noted that. I'll consider it." Seojoon said as he wrote at the notepad. "Later or tomorrow, I'll try to look and visit for their home address. I would like them to be part of my interrogation also, especially that two."

Dahyun nodded and hummed knowledgeably. "Y-you're going to talk to them..."

"I am."

"T-then, can I ask a favor?"

Seojoon looked at Dahyun curiously. "What is it?"

"Can you ask them what do they have to say for me now that I'm g-gone...?" Dahyun stuttered. "I don't know... I just want to know if they still can remember me these days." She frowned, lowering her head.

Seojoon approached Dahyun, he was going to grab her shoulder in comfort but realizes that he couldn't touch her due to her ghostly figure, so he brought it down and just looked at Dahyun warmheartedly as much as he can to convey his emotions.

"I'll ask them, and expect their messages once I return. I know they haven't forgotten you yet, Dahyun. You seem like a really great friend to have with, and your memories that you created with them will definitely always be there in their heart and mind... because you cemented yourself as one of the person who became a part of their life."

Dahyun raised her look and stared at Seojoon breathtakingly. She found his look to be calm, kind and comforting that were willing to be expressed solely for her who needed it on her toughest times.

"Don't be sad, Dahyun. Be positive, please. If they are unlike to what we expect them to be, we wouldn't be able to solve this case once and for all."

Dahyun traced her dress and stood straight to compose herself, erasing the uneasiness she feels from the overthinking she did. "O-okay. You were right. I'm sorry."

"It's fine." Seojoon then glanced back at his notepad.

"Dahyun, you said you couldn't remember what happened to you right?"

"Yeah. I have no idea, but I could describe that I don't feel like I belong here."

Seojoon squinted his eyes and cupped his chin. "Hmmm... I have my theories gathering up on my mind, but I'll save that for now. What's important here is that we continue to push forward with the progress and soon, we can finally unveil what led to your disappearance, Dahyun."

He inserted his notepad and ballpen back in his pockets and walked back at the doorway, but Dahyun called him from behind. "Detective!"

"Yes?"

"I just want to say that... I trust you a lot, because you've been such a good person to me. Take care as always, please."

Seojoon grinned at Dahyun and tilted his head away to avoid showing how obvious he got fluttered at her uplifting words.

"Y-yeah. You are too, Dahyun. And thank you for that, you truly encouraged me to keep on working hard." They both smiled and stared at each other for a while until Seojoon regained his senses back after being too indulged with the ethereal sight he had.

"I-I'm going out. See you again, Dahyun."

"Bye, detective."

Seojoon exits the room. As he makes his way downstairs, he grasped onto his chest while he reflects about this undescribable feeling that fills upon his heart.

Meanwhile at the same time, Dahyun viewed the scenery out of the window while having your image stuck in her head as she couldn't help but to think about you in sudden.

-----------------------

The next day, Seojoon left his house early. It was supposed to be a continuation of his investigation that he'll manage immediately but after the realization last night via phone call he received before he sleeps, he reconsidered his schedule for today by visiting a familiar place first.

Seojoon was granted access to get the gates openes up for him, he drove the car inside and parked. His arrival stole the attention of someone close to him who lives in here. As he hopped out, a little girl sprinted out and jumps on Seojoon with glee.

"Seojoon oppa!"

"Hi buddyyy!" Seojoon squatted to match her height as they hugged at each other.

"I missed you, oppa. Where did you go?" The kid frowned, making Seojoon guilty for his msitakes.

"I'm just too busy with work, buddy. I may disappeared but I never forgotten you, okay? It's just that my visit turned out to be earlier than I expected because you gave me a call last night."

"Sorry, oppa. Did I distracted you-"

"No, not at all Dahye. Don't think like that. Dahye-ssi will never be a disturbance to Seojoon-oppa. Got it?" He said while gently wiggling both of her arms.

Dahye giggled adorably and nodded back at her big cousin. "Are we going to play today, oppa?"

"If that's what you want, then let's go!" Dahye cheered happily while exclaiming a "yay!" sound as she loved spending a funtime with her beloved cousin and brother-like figure.

Seojoon stood up and holds Dahye's hand. They were about to enter the house when a middle-aged man appeared, blocking the way as he watched him and Dahye cheerfully walking together.

"Seojoon, you came."

"Hello, ahjussi." Seojoon bowed respectfully on his uncle.

"I didn't even know you'll be here. How are you doing these days?" He asked as the two were now closer at each other.

"I'm good. Busy as usual, I got a new case in hand." Seojoon answered. "But it looks like your daughter here couldn't wait anymore. She wanted to meet me sooner than later." He ruffled the girl's hair and cuddled her beside...

"I can't blame her, she always mentions you everytime while asking me when you will come back. Weeks ago wasn't enough, I suppose. She loves you so much that's why she enjoys being with you always."

The uncle stepped aside as he guided him and Dahye to enter the house. "Come in, boy. Did you have breakfast?"

"Not yet, ahjussi."

"Perfect. Join us to eat on the table! Right at the time, I bought many ingredients from grocery yesterday so we have more to eat today." His uncle says as all of them sat in the dining table while the maids served the foods one by one.

----------------------

In the midst of his playtime with Dahye, Seojoon checks the time on his phone in which brought him to stand up and pull out the keys from his pocket. The kid saw his actions and recognized what he's about to do.

"You're leaving again, oppa?"

Seojoon tightlipped at Dahye sitting on the floor, frowning while hugging her doll. "I'm sorry, Dahye-nah. I still have work to do for today. Oppa can't stay here long." he said apologetically.

He noticed her burying her face on the fluffy head of her stuff toy to hide her sadness. Seojoon sighed and goes near at the sulking Dahye.

"Your birthday is on next week, right?"

Dahye didn't respond, but that didn't stop Seojoon from sharing what's in his mind for that day.

"I'm treating you outside, you can pick whatever you want to do. Oppa is going to catch up with you, okay? We're going to celebrate your birthday without any rush." Seojoon suggested.

"You're sure, oppa?"

"Yeah. I don't want to make my sweet little princess' birthday incomplete without having me you know?"

Seojoon watched her gloomy face slowly reverted back to a delighted mood as she leaned her face away from the dool and looked at him. "Okay, I can't wait oppa!"

Relieved that he managed not to upset his beloved cousin, Seojoon hugged Dahye and kissed his crown. "See you on your birthday, Dahye. Oppa has to go now. Bye!"

"Bye, oppa! Thank you for coming!"

Afterwards, Seojoon bids farewell to his uncle as he enters his car and read his notepad, keeping him reminded of the task he had to be done before the day ends.

With the help of one of the teams in the department who are in charge of tracking down locations, Seojoon was able to receive the address where the names Chou Tzuyu and Son Chaeyoung currently lives, which transported him to the city of Seoul, the capital of South Korea.

Seojoon came in the front of the right house he's supposed to pay a visit. He clicked the doorbell and waited for anyone at home to entertain his call.

Fortunately, there's one. It was the girl named Chaeyoung who is wearing a plain oversized t-shirt and some jogging pants like a typical house attire. She holds the door as she observes the appearance of Seojoon standing in her doorway.

"Hello and good morning, my name is Yoon Seojoon. I am a detective."

"What can I help you with, detective?" Chaeyoung nonchalantly asked.

"I'm came here to ask you some questions about the disappearance of Kim Dahyun. Your connection with the victim led me to you, miss Son."

Chaeyoung gasped as she glared at Seojoon in bewilderment. Her grip on the door shuddered a little as well as the emotions getting into her after hearing that name from somebody for such a long time, might as well coming from the police itself.

"I-I'm sorry, I'm not interested to talk about it."

Chaeyoung was about to shut the door, but Seojoon attempts to prevent it by calling her again not to let go of her attention. "Wait! Miss Son, I came here to help. Please, perhaps... you may want to take a look at this."

Chaeyoung glanced back at Seojoon, who is now offering her a piece a paper. She takes it and discovered it wasn't just a paper, but something more that holds dear in her heart.

"I got this from my research. I know you and Dahyun were close friends and... I hope I can convince you through this to cooperate with me. I know you're just like me who wants to explore more about Dahyun's case."

Listening through his voice, Chaeyoung could tell that the detective was sounding very genuine and optimistic; exactly what she needed back then when they were anticipating for anyone to take her friend's case seriously.

She looks back at the picture. It shows her, Tzuyu and Dahyun in a beach all doing a pose together. "You're right. This one's special to me. It was our first getaway trip when we were only three in our group at that time." Chaeyoung expressed a bittersweet recollection.

"I-I'm sorry, detective. I-I... just couldn't believe someone... someone in the police would revisit and take control of my friend's case. It's been 5 years and up to this day we're still begging for her justice, and here you are..." Chaeyoung said as she started to tear up. Seojoon respectfully remained silent to let the girl spill out the burden that's been dragging her down since Dahyun vanished.

She sniffed, swiping her tears that ran across her cheek as she spreaded the gap of the door further to give way for the detective. "I-I'll talk. I'll answer your questions. Please, come in."

"Thank you, Miss Son." Seojoon bowed courteously.

"Just call me Chaeyoung."

As Seojoon stepped in, Chaeyoung closed the door and shouted somebody's name who is also present with them. "Tzuyu! We hve a guest!"

"Coming! Who is it!"

Tzuyu walked out of her room and the sight of Chaeyoung with a stranger greeted her. "Uhh..."

"Good morning, I assume you're Ms. Chou Tzuyu. I'm Detective Yoon Seojoon, in charge for the missing case of your friend, Kim Dahyun."

Tzuyu's eyes widened in surprise and all she could do was to look at Chaeyoung who is nodding her head to make her understand the situation abruptly.

------------------------------

"Is this where Dahyun lives?"

Seojoon asked as he presented the picture of the abandoned manor to Chaeyoung and Tzuyu. The two peeked at it and seemingly distinguished the content.

"Yes, but that wasn't her own." Chaeyoung answered. "She doesn't live there alone nor have her family with her actually."

"Her parents died when she was in highschool at that time. Her relatives took the responsibility of raising Dahyun but if we're not mistaken, she left them because they were strict and not kind-hearted." Tzuyu added.

"She approached us and we learned about her situation. We offered her help, she did took it appreciatingly. It didn't last long, however."

"Dahyun told us that she wants to try surviving on her own, so she applied for a part-time job as a maid to earn allowance for her studies."

Seojoon wrote all of the key points in his notes. "So, Dahyun lived in that manor temporarily as part of her requirement as a maid?"

"I guess so. She never invited us to visit her place to hang out, but we did brought her there once when we all came home together from class." Tzuyu replied.

"I see." Seojoon muttered. "Wait, so if she's a maid, then technically there has to be the original residents of that manor whom Dahyun works for. Do you guys know them?"

"Not specifically. We never got to see them up close." Chaeyoung shook her head. "But I do remember that Dahyun mentioned once that it was a family, and she takes care of a little girl who is the daughter of that family which she befriended with."

"Yeah, she always admire that kid, calling her cute, how bubbly she is and more." Tzuyu continued. "Well, Dahyun loves children, that's why."

Seojoon smiled at that information. He found a similarity with Dahyun in which he could relate with. "Alright, last question. When was the last time you saw her?"

Chaeyoung and Tzuyu's face demeanor transformed into a dull and bland one. It had Seojoon perceived that it wasn't a happy memory that Dahyun left for them before her unexpected disappearance. "It was at the campus. We were eating street foods outside when suddenly Dahyun just received a notification coming from that family I guess.", says Chaeyoung.

"She didn't told us what happened because she quickly said goodbye and ran away to us, but she did revealed it the day after through our group chat."

"What did she say?"

"She told us that she couldn't come with us because she's grieving along with the family while doing her job to serve the visitors on the funeral."

"Wait, come again?" Seojoon pursed his head forward and stared deeply at Tzuyu with knitted eyebrows. "A funeral? To who?"

"She said that the little girl she's taking care of died in an accident. The family didn't took it very well, since it was their only child... especially the father who always wanted to have a daughter."

Seojoon's heart ached at the story. It truly hurts him whenever he finds a child being in an inevitable danger that none were deserving to be part of. He huffed in the air for a second before drinking the glass of water that Chaeyoung and Tzuyu offered to him before they started the interrogation, in an attempt to erase the horrible what ifs of having Dahye getting put in that kind of scenario.

"Are you okay, detective?"

"Y-yeah, sorry. It's just... I'm sensitive on hearing kids being on unfortunate events, whether it costs them life or not." Seojoon cleared his throat and fixed his composure. "And whatever happened to Dahyun that will tie us to these information you lend to me, I couldn't be much more devastated for her too."

He stood up from his seat and presented his hand. "Thank you so much again for your cooperation Miss Tzuyu and Miss Chaeyoung. You two don't know how big of a contribution this is for the solving of Dahyun's case. You guys helped her again as usual."

"What can we say, we loved Dahyun more than just a friend. She was like a sibling, a sister to us." Tzuyu said. "And wherever she may be today, I hope she's at peace."

Seojoon tightlipped and looked away at Tzuyu for a while. "Not yet, but we'll get there... soon." he whispered.

"Uhm, before I go... can I ask one more thing?"

"What is it detective?" Chaeyoung pondered.

"If Dahyun's watching us today, what do you guys want to say to her?"

Chaeyoung and Tzuyu looked at each other before sighing heavily. "Dahyunnie, if you can hear us, we just want to say that... we miss you everyday. A lot."

"Just the little things we do together, we revisit it frequently as our way to remember you. And... o-oh God, it's still so hard for us to not have you on our side anymore. Nayeon, Jeongyeon, Momo, Sana, Jihyo, Mina, the girls weren't still used of your absence, Dahyun-ah. Your contagious laugh, your positivity, your wholehearted personality. When our shining light was taken away from us, it felt like we're forever living in a colorless world; and we wouldn't be contented accepting that fact forever, Dahyun.

Thank you for existing in our life as our friend, tofu. Someday, when we all fly up there; we'll get to see each other again and reunited, and we will all have fun together just like the good old days where nothing can go wrong that will separate one of us from each other anymore. We couldn't wait for that to happen."

Chaeyoung and Tzuyu couldn't contain their tears as they sobbed harder at their longing messages for their bereaved friend. Seojoon got teared up at their bittersweet and emotional words. He expressed his sympathy by coming up near to them and enveloped them in a comforting embrace.

-------------------------------------

Dahyun was overwhelmed and touched at what Seojoon informed to her about what Chaeyoung and Tzuyu wanted to say to her in the aftermath of her passing. Seojoon is once again frustrated and dismayed that he couldn't get to hug Dahyun to make the consolation easier, as all he could do was to watch her cry out loud while their messages sink into her.

Seojoon also told her about the new informations he gathered regarding a piece of backstory of her past life and the manor she's locked into. That helped Dahyun to regain some memories of what she had when she was living and shared it to him right away.

Seojoon and Dahyun's conversation went longer than expected, as Seojoon just listened to Dahyun's stories about how she and the girls first met, how they supported her for the decision of taking the job and the experiences she had as a maid; in which she enjoyed because of the same reason as what Chaeyoung and Tzuyu mentioned: the little girl.

Dahyun described that she felt like a big sister she never got the chance to be for her own family because she never got a sibling. Although, the happiness didn't last long for their bond when Dahyun became one of those who suffered from the death of that girl, and possibly led to her own downfall.

As she was finished talking, Seojoon made it fair by inserting another topic for her and Dahyun to converse with. Each time passes and it was all worth it, they were too indulged with their interesting interaction that they never even gave a damn anymore for now at whatever that is happening outside the manor.

Dahyun enjoyed talking with Seojoon, for the first time since being a ghost she never felt confined and alone. Same as what could tell for Seojoon to himself, Dahyun is indeed a very entertaining and nice to hang out with. He has never been this happy to anyone else other than her cousin Dahye.

As of now, Dahyun and Seojoon were both laying down on the floor, staring the window that relfects the sunset outside. They just took a little break from the non-stop talking they had.

"Dahyun."

"Hmm?"

"I just wanna ask, if I fail to spend more time with my loved ones; does that make me a horrible person?"

Dahyun looked at him who is still steadily watching from afar. "What makes you say so?"

"I don't know, I just envy you. You get to set time for your friends while being occupied with your duty of taking care that girl and focusing on your studies. You manage to maintain yourself available and flexible while me... I couldn't do it properly."

Seojoon sighed, he sat up and tangled his arms around his knees. "I always believed that work was always the most important thing that keeps me alive. I wasn't like this before. I thought having friends or family is the one thing that makes you motivated and dedicated to keep on living for another day, but instead every single one of them abandoned me."

"I only had my work who stayed by my side, so I became even more hardworking and busy. None of people around me could keep in touch with me that would surpass an hour. In short, I'm too insufferable and boring, and I couldn't care less about it."

"Not until when suddenly I got to meet with my remaining relatives. I got uncle and my little cousin. Her name's Harin. I didn't know that when I got to be close with them, especially her... I began to reconsider things. To spend more time at other things than work. And I found Harin to be very valuable and special to me."

Dahyun witnessed Seojoon as he started to choke and sniff, sign of her impending wails that's urging him because of the increasing emotions he's trying to endure. "But I was left confused in the end. Why does when I started to change for myself and for her, the world would just randomly chose to fuck my fate after? That she has just became one of the people in my life who will just instantly left me after pouring my love and care to them."

Seojoon cried harder on his knees. Dahyun sat upright and looked at him worriedly. "After she died, I never tried to the fullest to allow time with other things than work. But these days, it scares me that when Dahye got to be closer to me... if I let myself get attached to her too, she would just leave me just like the rest of them."

Dahyun nodded understandably at his reasons. "So do you mean that, it's what that holds you back from meeting her often?"

Seojoon nodded. Dahyun hummed and sat near beside Seojoon. "Everything is meant to happen, Seojoon; and I hate to say this to you but, that's what I could tell the same for your family, friends and Harin."

"But, just like what the saying says. when a door closes, another one opens. Opportunities are endless, Seojoon. And you must take it bravely because you wouldn't know when would that be given to you again. It could be just once and Dahye could also be the last, Seojoon."

"I say, you should not resist or restrict yourself after what happened to you. Don't take it as a failure, Seojoon. Let that be an encouragement for you to keep moving forward and continue what you love to do, and that is to become something meaningful in others lives.

Sometimes, things that disappear were meant to be replaced. It all leads you to Dahye, and just like what I said Seojoon. Life is unpredictable, you don't know if everything that we have could be our last. So, I suggest you should continue expressing yourself to the fullest of being a loving cousin for Dahye... before either she won't exist no one enters your life anymore as much important as her.

Seojoon wipes off the tears in his eyes and looked at Dahyun, agreeing at her advice. "I understand now. You're right, Dahyun. I'm sorry if I had to say this to you..."

"It's no problem, Seojoon. I'm grateful that you treated me to be a trustworthy person who you can reply on opening up your problems you couldn't share easily to others, and I'm glad that I could help." Dahyun grinned.

Seojoon shortly smiled at her humble statement. He straightened his seating posture, extending his legs to the floor with his hands supporting his upper body. He glanced at Dahyun and wandered around her facial features The unspoken feeling that distracts him is detectable again to him.

"Hey, enough crying. Cmon, follow me. Let's do one more thing before you go home." Dahyun hurriedly stood up and gestures him to do the same.

"What is it?"

"You'll see. Hurry up, slowpoke." Dahyun giggled which brought Seojoon to chuckle at her adorable antics.

Dahyun walks out of the room and Seojoon followed her from behind. They reached downstairs and went at the widest room in the entire section, located at the very end next to the living room.

"Sit here." Dahyun said after she sat at one of the chairs of the piano which includes to one of the things that were left unmoved here in this house.

Seojoon and Dahyun are now sitting side by side, facing the piano altogether. "I remember how much I loved playing this piano when I was still living and serving my time here as a maid. I mostly spend my free time improving my piano skills."

"You know how to play piano?"

Dahyun hummed. "Yup! I dreamt once of becoming a successful musician... or a pianist, you know. Piano has became my favorite musical instrument so tonight, let me console you by playing one of my favorite pieces for you."

Dahyun puts her hands on the keys and starting pressing the notes to the rhythm with the use of her supernatural force to suppress weight.

The more she keeps on playing, Seojoon slowly recognizes the music she's performing. Not wanting to be left behind, she joined Dahyun by singing the lyrics of the song she's playing on the piano.

Even if it's a dream, I like it Tomorrow, I'll be there Even if you're not That's okay, I'll remember you Little by little Our memories piled up I will always keep them As they were

With my eyes only I know it won't pass onto you So I'll give back your heart One by one

Dahyun on the other hand, was astounded and enlightened at how admiringly beautiful your vocal was. "Woah, you know this too?"

"It's my favorite too."

The two beamed a smile at each other before they proceed to sing-along the night away together with the calming instrumentals to left their day with a positive mark.

As the song ends, Dahyun and Seojoon applauded each other as both were impressed at each other's talents. While Seojoon fixated himself, Dahyun grabbed his attention by speaking up to him.

"This has to be the best day I've ever had so far, Seojoon. Thank you for staying with me."

Seojoon looks at her and smiled before his face sprung up as he recalled something.

"Oh wait, I got something for you."

He pulls out in his pocket and showed it at Dahyun. The latter covered his mouth in awe.

"They gave this to me in return of what I showed to them earlier. I just thought you would like to see these for yourself, since these are your photos taken by them."

"Woah, these looks so good. Chaeyoung and Tzuyu really are the best on capturing photos in our trio." Dahyun chuckled as she adored her images on your hand.

"Yeah, they did great. You look so free and gorgeous in these similar to how can I see through you right now."

Dahyun heard what Seojoon muttered under his breath. Their stares matched and drowned once again at the charms each of them possesses. Her blush grew rapidly not only from the fluttering words she was acknowledged for, but also for Seojoon himself.

"U-uhh, I'll be leaving now, Dahyun. Good night to you." Seojoon bows and smiles at him before he walks away from her, exiting the manor while she was left alone, stunned and amazed at the possibility that Dahyun might've fallen already for the good-hearted detective.

----------------------------------------------------

Back from serious business, Seojoon returns to the village the next day and searches for the landlord Haein as new inquiries spawned into his scarlet web of thread that would be nearly tied to the center of attraction, and that is for the awaited revelation behind Dahyun's disappearance.

Seojoon is standing behind Haein who is scrambling through his wooden cabinet where he keeps all of his documents stored in one place.

He asked a while ago if Haeil could still remember who was the last proprietor of the manor where Dahyun probably got killed. Haeil responded through the use of all the might he has left for the sharpness of his memory that it was indeed belongs to a middle-aged man.

He forgot the name, but as what he could remember; he has one family member with him: a daughter, matching Chaeyoung and Tzuyu's claims. But there was one thing that struck Seojoon.

A new clue. The man is a single father. Haein depicted that when the man signed the contract, he doesn't have any woman he could tell if that's his wife or what. In fact, he never even saw him had a woman that could stand as a mother for the little girl.

Seojoon heard that the landlord mentioned about the contract, he suggested Haein to look for the copy where he was answered that he still has all the papers with him.

And that's where they at right now. "I got it!" Haein exclaimed as he raised a paper on his hands. He closed the cabinet and placed it on his desk. "There. That's the last contract of agreement I had for the manor before it was left unoccupied for years."

Seojoon examined the paper and flipped the pages. The third and last paper is where the signature and the printed name of the owner could be found.

As he reads the name of the identity of the last owner, Seojoon's eyes largened in shock. He felt like the world turned upside down as he piercingly stared at the paper.

"H-how is this possible..." He murmured as he rubbed his mouth with his hands in utter disbelief.

"What's wrong, detective?"

"N-Nothing." Seojoon frantically shook his head. "Can I borrow this? This would be very useful for an evidence."

"Sure, take it if you want detective. I won't mind." Haein shrugged.

Seojoon nodded and quickly barged out of the landlord's house. He entered the car and slumped at his seat, facing the paper back in front of him as he combed his hair in astonishment.

"Yoon Guimhwi..." He reads the name of the last occupant under the property of Haein's.

"I-It's my uncle's... does he have secrets that he's been hiding from me?" Seojoon asked to himself before he drove away.

He arrived minutes later at his uncle's residence, perfectly timed where his cousin wouldn't be around since Dahye is at her class. He want this to become personal and private, just the two of them for him to suspect his own uncle.

"Seojoon!" His uncle greeted him as soon as he appeared at the front door. He kept his stoic and observative mask worn around his face. "You're too late! Dahye is not here."

"It's alright. I wanted to see you this time, uncle."

"Ah is that so? How thoughtful of you, Joon. Then come in, let me get you some. What do you prefer? Food or drink?"

"Juice would be fine enough. Thanks uncle." Seojoon replied.

Uncle Guimhwi went to the kitchen to prepare, leaving Seojoon alone in the living room to standby and make himself feel at home, but that's not what he came here for.

He roamed around and viewed the frames of his uncle and his cousin, until there was one thing that caught him off track.

Seojoon stepped forward and traced the picture further. The eyes never lie. He's literally seeing clearly, and he doesn't know whether to deny or accept what he just discovered.

The structure of the manor is the background of the family picture of his uncle along with his cousin, photo taken in the daylight.

This just confirmed more for Seojoon that his uncle must have a huge part of his investigation. It was unexpected and a coincidence, but that's not what it matters for him. He's going to try something that would measure his truthfulness in front of something he wasn't aware of that could place his innocence in judgement.

"Joon! You can get your juice here, boy." his uncle called him from behind, bringing along a pitchel full of orange juice and some glasses.

"Thanks, uncle." Seojoon grabbed one and poured himself a drink. He returns back to face the painting and make himself obvious for his uncle to notice.

"You miss her. I know."

Seojoon heard his uncle's comment. That wasn't the one he's waiting to hear from him, but he wouldn't dodge such a painful fact. He does miss his cousin a lot.

"I do, but... can I ask you something uncle?"

"Go ahead."

"You lived here in this manor before?"

His uncle sipped a drink before responding. "Yeah, we stayed there for 3 years until we relocated here."

"Where was this located?"

"At Gyeonggi, if I wasn't mistaken." Uncle Guimhwi stated. "The neighborhood there was so kind. I wish I could pay them a visit someday."

Seojoon keeps on listing secretly on his mind. "Why couldn't you?"

"Some things are best to left behind, Joon. There's a lot of bad history I had there in that manor. I wouldn't last to witness that place ever again if I get the chance... but it's better for me not to take that at all." Uncle Guimhwi said.

"Wait, are you referring to the missing case of... wait, what's this name again- Kim Dahyun?"

Seojoon observed his uncle who stopped midway from gulping another cold beverage in his glass. It's like he just installed some flashbacks within him that he just malfunctioned.

"Y-you know that?"

"I do. Researching helps plus hello, I work at police department as a detective, uncle." Seojoon blurted.

Guimhwi started to act weird by rotating his head as if he's trying to find something for him to say regarding that matter.

"A-ahh. Right, yeah. You are." Guimhwi nervously chuckled.

"That manor was the same place where that Dahyun girl was reported to be missing. Do you know her, uncle?"

The intensity of Seojoon's playful act to corner his uncle becomes even more intense as he enjoys watching him struggle to reply. His suspicions were now being constructed and Seojoon couldn't believe that he would've get to confront his uncle for being the unthinkable type of person he never knew would turn out real.

Guimhwi remained silent for a while before he glanced at the manor. "I do. He was our previous maid. Dahye and her gets along really well. That's why when I noticed that she wasn't appearing for days and become absent in our manor, not knowing that would be the start of his missing report by the police; I was worried and saddened for her and for Dahye. They were like bestfriends and Dahyun... Dahyun is a great girl, Seojoon. It breaks my heart not to see that kid for a long time now."

"I heard from our department that they're going to reopen the case, if you will be asked to stand as the witness; would you allow me to recommend you?"

Guimhwi swallowed a lump on his throat before speaking up to what his nephew told to him. "I-I'll think about it first. That's undebatable."

Seojoon clicked his tongue and pretends to pull out his cellphone for some urgent reason. "I'll be back, uncle. I have to chat my colleague."

"Take your time, boy."

Seojoon walks away from his uncle and stopped near the door. He pressed the note icon and types down everything he heard from his uncle. He saved it for later there and not on his usual notepad so that he wouldn't be seen too obvious that he's actually investigating his uncle. This has to be included for review and analyzation back on his house or at the station later.

-----------------------------

Two days later, Seojoon was mostly devoted on investigating further about the sudden involvement of his uncle about Dahyun's case. It's making him conflicted and befuddled that after all this time, one of things he'd be looking for the case was someone very close to his life, and as of now his role is very crucial here.

His uncle has just become one of the primary suspects as the culprit of Dahyun's death.

He doesn't want it to be true, because he doesn't know what would it affect him once it does. Being a police detective, learning that there's a murderer or a killer that is highly related to you feels like a stain to your career and background as you hold your family's name along with the rank of your profession.

Seojoon was busy adjusting all of the clues he has with him when he received a phone call from his cousin Dahye.

"Hello?"

"Oppa." Her voice sounded weak.

"Dahye, what made you call in the middle of the night. You miss me already, don't you?" He chuckled as he closed a folder in his working table.

"Oppa... please come here. I don't wanna go."

Seojoon slowly furrowed his eyebrows after he heard that plead from Dahye. "What do you mean you don't wanna go? Is there something wrong going on there, Dahye-nah?"

"Oppa... appa wants us to look for new home. I don't know why but... I don't want to be far away, oppa. I love it here. Stop appa please."

"Okay okay, I'll be right there. Where is appa right now?" Seojoon asked, hurriedly wearing his detective coat and some equipments with him in case it gets handy. He has to beware, his uncle is a suspect and the suspicions he has on him are still on the top and through Dahye's emergency call, it maintains that level of the risk he has.

"H-he's with the maids, packing our things. I have to go, oppa. Appa might see me."

"Just try to be stubborn and fight back against appa's instructions. Seojoon oppa is on his way now there!" He said before ending the call and left his apartment in a dash.

Driving his car in a fast speed while keeping it steady to avoid any unlikely accidents that may be a hindrance to his chase, Seojoon successfully made it to his uncle's residence.

Just as he arrived, he saw Guimhwi trying to calm down Dahye who is forcing herself to escape from his father's grasp as she's being inserted inside the car.

"UNCLE!" Seojoon shouted, marching closer at Guimhwi who was surprised at his emergence. Dahye quickly ran at him and hugged him on the leg as she cried.

"Seojoon-ssi, what are you doing here?"

"Where are you guys going? And why are you forcing Dahye to go with you? The kid doesn't look pleased, uncle. What's going on?"

"It's none of your business. Y-you won't understand, Seojoon. Take care of yourself, but me and Dahye has to look for a new home somewhere."

Guimhwi tried to approach Dahye but she hid behind Seojoon who is gesturing his to stop. "No. Why can't you tell me why? Your home here seems fine, what's bothering you uncle?"

His uncle went silent as he avoid Seojoon's intimidating gaze, waiting for his answer. As he has no comment to offer, Seojoon starts to choke from the heavy breaths escaping in his mouth driven by the emotions increasing deep inside of him.

"U-uncle, yesterday... I asked you about the manor and if you have knowledge about the case of Kim Dahyun..."

"W-why does it concerns you, Seojoon?!"

"BECAUSE I'M THE ONE WHO HANDLES THE CASE!" Seojoon shouted at Guimhwi. Dahye started to cry behind him. " And you LIED! All of what you said was a LIE. Is that why you're doing this, uncle? Is that because, you feel guilty of what you did... that's why you have to escape and brought a child into this?!"

"How d-do you even know that I told you false information, Seojoon?! What makes sure, that you could just accuse me without any evi-"

"Dahye's not the actual child Dahyun took care of when she was working for you, isn't it?" Seojoon's lips began to twitch. "The case was 5 years ago, Dahye is only turning 6 this year, uncle. She wasn't even born during that time!"

"The girl she took care was your daughter, your ORIGINAL daughter, uncle. Harin was Dahyun's responsibility." Seojoon pointed. Guimhwi was just standing there, head lowered down with fists curling, enduring all of the blame being thrown at him.

"June 12, 2015. You must be on the manor at that day. Why? Because that was 2 days ago after Harin died. You stayed in that manor all day with Dahyun, assisting you while you grieve at your only daughter's death."

"And now, I have to confirm one thing... and I want it to hear it from you, uncle."

Seojoon adjusted the phone in his coat in which he secretly opened the audio recorder to record their conversation tonight, and to caught the suspect's reactions about his claims.

"What did you do to Dahyun on that given night?" Seojoon sharpened his tone, sending chills through the horrified and extremely tensed Guimhwi.

"Are you the one who killed her?"

"..."

"TELL ME!!!"

Dahye cried harder and Guimhwi flinched at the deafening scream by Seojoon.

Tears streamed down in his face while he stares at his uncle that has been cornered and put into hot seat, getting his innocence doubted.

"S-seojoon...

I'm sorry."

Guimhwi didn't answered in specific, but the obvious meaning behind those words were enough to shatter Seojoon's heart and soul.

"N-no... Dahyun..."

He gave in from his stance, collapsing to the ground and slowly sobbed in pain as Dahye hugged him on the back.

--------------------

5 DAYS LATER

The case was now closed. His uncle, Yoon Guimhwi was found guilty and sentenced to more than a decade in prison after he admitted publicly that he was the man behind the slaughter of Kim Dahyun's disapperance, which was caused by murder. He did it at the same room where Dahyun usually stays in the manor, explaining why is it the part of the house that is haunted the most by her spirit.

Dahyun's body was found and surprisingly, it was buried neatly on an open field somewhere in Daegu. On a positive side, atleast his uncle was right and spoke the truth about his explaination on why he did the crime.

But still, that won't change a thing that it was a horrible act to do. He hurted Dahyun for a very obssessive reason. He killed and wasted her dreams because of that. He left Dahyun locked in that manor, hoping that she'll get to cross into the gates of heaven where her soul rightfully belongs.

A proper funeral has been held for Dahyun's remains. All of her friends visited and send their thank yous at the detective for bringing Dahyun the justice she deserves.

Seojoon decided to stop at the manor where he would be visiting Dahyun again. It's been days since they haven't seen each other. She must've felt bored and lonely again, and Seojoon misses her so much already as much as she does.

"Dahyun."

Seojoon called her name after he stood in the doorway. Dahyun was just laying down on the bed with her hands placed atop of her midsection, the same posture as how deceased people were formed inside the casket.

Dahyun gets up from the bed and looked at Seojoon with a huge smile on her face. "Seojoon!" She walked closer to him as fast as she could.

Seojoon got to face Dahyun closer. The two were standing in front of each other, gap were just inches away.

Seeing her after knowing the fate she had that costs her life was too much for Seojoon to control.

"How are you?"

"I'm good, just feeling a bit weird. I feel... more alive and at rest since yesterday." Dahyun described. "It feels like I have nothing to worry about. Like, everything's going to be okay for me even though I'm still here... trapped in this manor for god knows how long."

Seojoon speculated that the completion of the case gave an impact on Dahyun's state as a lost ghost in this mortal world.

He smiled softly and didn't wasted any more time to announce her the good news. "I-It's done."

"Hmm?"

"The case. It's now closed. We caught your killer, Dahyun."

Dahyun was shocked and overwhelmed with joy and relief. She gasped, staring at Seojoon unbelievably. "R-really?"

He nodded. Dahyun jumped in glee and lets out tears of joy in her dazzling eyes. Seojoon admirably watch her celebrate victoriously, it's been a long time coming for her and finally she was able to achieve it.

As soon as Dahyun stops, she noticed that Seojoon was shuddering as tears bursted out from him, hissing and whimpering at the emotions taking over him.

"W-why are you crying, Seojoon? We did it, right?"

"Y-yeah. We did. I'm just so happy for you but I..." Seojoon blew some warm air before proceeding. "I just couldn't help but to feel bad at myself."

"Why? You didn't do anything wrong though?"

"I don't... I-I'm just ashamed to show up myself for you after what I learnt."

Dahyun looks at Seojoon curiously. "Why? What is it?"

"D-Dahyun... forgive me. I didn't know... I didn't know..."

She held her wrists and looked at him worriedly.

"You didn't know what?"

"I- I didn't know that my uncle killed you."

Dahyun was stunned. She froze in front of you, what you just told her immensely shocked her to the core.

"W-what?" Dahyun said, stepping back a bit from him.

"I wasn't close with my uncle at that time, so I never got to know about you. I-If only I did met him and you, pay some visit here earlier, m-maybe I... I could've done something." Seojoon said, shaking his head in regret and guilt. "I wanted to save you, Dahyun."

"H-how did I die?" Dahyun asked him, both were weakened and hurt.

"You were strangled to death... at this very same room we're standing in. He did that after y-you tried to escaped." Seojoon began to explain what his uncle shared in the court. Dahyun's head suddenly starts to ache as all of the memories were now flashing back from her all at once, allowing her to have a glimpse of the last moments before her unfortunate demise in the hands of Seojoon's uncle.

"Y-you did that because... you couldn't stand staying there on that manor, living while raising a child that was completely forced and unplanned for you to have." Seojoon proceeded. "You gave birth to Dahye due to the consequences of Harin's death. My uncle's obssession of having a child in replacement of Harin has what brought uncle to rap-"

"STOP!" Seojoon flinched and looked at Dahyun who is covering her head and ears as she kneeled, body curled on the floor as she fought the pain of regaining back her lost memories that were mostly full of tragedy and darkness.

"Dahyun?" He called her name to check up on her. Dahyun was also crying like him. She removed her hands on her head and looked at Seojoon who is concerned for her.

"I-I remember it all now." Dahyun spoke in the midst of her sobs. "That man needs to pay for what she did to me. Your uncle deserves to burn in hell!"

Seojoon didn't say anything as he just listened to Dahyun's rage and agony. "M-my daughter... I remember her. I can even sense her somewhere. She's alive, I can feel it."

Dahyun went closer towards Seojoon. "S-Seojoon, w-where is she? I-is she okay?"

He nodded, Dahyun smiled through her cries. "She's with me. She grown up to be such a great girl. And I just noticed that... she just looks almost as you."

Dahyun was touched and happy at the news. She cried harder, hands clasped as she prayed for the Gods feeling grateful that somehow her daughter was able to survive and able to continue living the life that was gifted to her.

"Her name..."

"Dahye." Both of them said it at the same time.

"It's as wonderful as her mother's." Seojoon muttered and stared deeply at Dahyun before he looked away as the connection he has with his uncle made him uncomfortable to look at Dahyun straight in the eyes.

"A-are you mad at me, Dahyun?"

"Me?" Dahyun was confused. "Why w-would I? You said it yourself, you have no idea what cruel and disgusting your uncle was."

"Don't be regretful about it, Seojoon. Don't blame yourself just because you have a relative who disobeyed the law opposite of the oath you took for your occupation. It might affect your reputation as a detective, but don't let it distract you from the fact that you're the one who arrested him and sent him to jail on your own. That cements your faithfulness and unbiased principle for the sake of the law and truth."

Dahyun smiled sympathetically at Seojoon. The two had each other's eyes in contact. She grinned brightly, making Seojoon eased and stable from his overflowing emotions. "I won't hold anger, hatred or vengeance from you. It's all done, I am now free... and it wouldn't be possible without you."

They paused on talking when Seojoon noticed that Dahyun's figure started to become blurry as she starts to slowly disappear. "D-Dahyun... you're-"

"I know." She nodded. "My time is up, I see."

Seojoon dreadfully looked at Dahyun after she said it.

"But before I go... I want to say this to you that I've been keeping to myself from the first day that I got to talk with you more than just my case, Seojoon.

Thank you for choosing to help me. You did it, and I'm so proud of you. Those made me even love you more ."

Seojoon starts to cry as he finally tried to touch Dahyun to hug her, but sadly he really couldn't do it. His body just went passed through Dahyun's. He became infuriated, pounding his fists at the floor.

"N-no... no, even you?!" Seojoon exclaimed. The fear of being left by someone who became dear in his heart happened again, and it hits Seojoon different because for the first time; he gets to be romantically in love with a woman despite being only the ghost of herself when she was existing like him.

"Can I join you too? I don't want you to go. I love you too Dahyun." Seojoon begged as he kneeled in front of Dahyun. She squats and leveled Seojoon's sight.

"You can, but not for now."

Seojoon looked at Dahyun. "You still have purpose to fulfill in this world, Seojoon... and I want that for you to do me a favor. Take care of Dahye for me. In the future, when she grew up and you feel that she can stand on her own now... I will just be up high above, waiting for you. And we can finally enjoy our everlasting love together there."

Dahyun formed a heart gesture to Seojoon as only a quarter of her figure is now left visible. Seojoon nodded and tapped his chest, making Dahyun happy and fluttered.

"See you on the other side, Seojoon."

That was Dahyun's last words before she vanished in thin air, as Seojoon watched his soul flew out of the window and go upwards into the destination where she can finally rest in peace.

The next day, fulfilling his promise to his stepcousin Dahye; he treated her outside for her birthday as a way to make her special day fun and unforgettable. It was also to distract her from the fact that her father is currently behind bars, Seojoon doesn't want to kid to know yet that his father is a killer.

After Seojoon bought ice cream for him and Dahye, he observed that Dahye was looking at a fast food restaurant where a birthday is being gathered. She saw the kid who is the celebrant along with her father being taken pictures by the guests.

Seojoon went near Dahye and kneeled beside her. He presented the ice cream at her, she accepted and said thank you to him.

"I wish appa is here with us." Dahye said as she directed her gaze back at the party. "Why couldn't he come, oppa?"

Seojoon sighed and pouted, thinking of a way to answer the kid's question. "Because... appa did something wrong, and he has to fix it. That's why for now, I'll be here to become your guardian."

Thankfully, the kid seems to take the explaination nicely. "I'm just jealous, oppa. She has her father with her on her birthday, but I don't."

Dahye frowned and sadly licked her ice cream. Seojoon smiled and swayed some strands of hair behind her ear. "You can call me appa for today if you want."

"Are y-you sure oppa?!"

"Yeah. Since I'm your guardian and I'm the one in charge on behalf of appa, I can stand as your father-figure too, Dahye. You can call me that as much as you want too." He shrugged. "Do you like that?"

Dahye smiled and nodded. "Yes, appa!" She replied as she hugged Seojoon afterwards. He shut his eyes as she indulge the comforting sensation of having his beloved little girl delighted in his company.

Seojoon became determined to grant Dahyun's wishes, and that is to raise Dahye and teach her to become a wonderful person just like her mother.

----------------------------

35 YEARS LATER

In one of the hospital rooms, sounds of cries from the visitors and a flatline from the heartbeat monitor can be heard as the patient who is confined there was just announced his time of death by the doctors who failed to resuscitate his life.

The woman is being comforted by her boyfriend, as she cried harder while grasping the lifeless hand of his father.

"I'll be here for you Dahye, stay strong. You heard him and I don't want to fail him either." the boyfriend said as he rubbed her back, revealing to Dahye who is now an adult and is in her 30's who just suffered a huge loss for the passing of her beloved stepfather and veteran detective Yoon Seojoon at the age of 65.

Meanwhile, Seojoon's newly ascended soul awakened in a foggy ground covered in crystal clear water in a very shallow height.

He slowly raised himself and looked around, where he could only see nothing but baby blue sky.

Noticing that he's in his younger appearance and wearing all white long sleeved shirt and pants while barefoot in the water; he walked ahead at the unknown until a gate standing tall supported with golden bars of fences to defend and guard of what it seems to be an evangelical town appeared out from the fog.

There were two guards who noticed him. He walked through them as they stood their ground with all confidence.

"State your name, lost soul." The guard who's holding a long golden trident asked him authoratively.

"L-lost soul... that means I'm truly dead...?" He whispered to himself. He knew what happened to him but he couldn't believe that this were all happening to him in reality.

"Y-Yoon Seojoon." He said cautiously.

The other guard on the booth flipped the pages of what it seems to be an enchanted book. "He's cleared."

The guard snapped his fingers and the padlocks of the gate went poof out of the air. It opened wide after and the guard stepped aside. "Welcome to the heavens. You may now enter."

Seojoon looked at the guard amazedfully. He walked inside, a white beam suddenly appeared in his body that expanded into a thread that leads to somewhere.

"W-what is this light attached on me?"

"It means that there's another soul here who is waiting to see you. Follow the way and you'll find out." The guard answered.

Seojoon nodded and continues walking. He travelled his eyes around at these unique and surreal surroundings. Everything looks unearthly, magical and spectacular.

He kept following the direction of the white beam connected to him until it came to a pause where he saw the the other end of it. It passes through the walls of a lovely looking house.

As soon as he stepped into the pathway, the door opened. Seojoon's eyes widened too when Dahyun showed up at the door looking at him tenderly.

"D-Dahyun..."

She went out of the house and placed her hands on the back. Her classic black long hair and white dress. She looked simply breathtaking and magnificent just like the first time you've seen her, and seeing her in heaven, there couldn't get even more excellent than this.

"Welcome home, Seojoon."

The two slowly walked towards each other until they closed the space between them and catched theirselves in a warm, longing and blooming embrace. Seojoon teared up as he saw Dahyun's body wrapped in his arms.

"I can finally feel you." Seojoon said as he stroked her silky smooth hair.

Dahyun smiled, feeling grateful as him. "How was your time down there?" she asked.

"It was worth it. Your lessons has what made me feel alive with purpose. And Dahye, she's in good hands now."

They seperated and faced each other dearly. Dahyun was pleased that she can finally get a touch of her lover's attractive face as she cupped it with her small cute hands.

"She had grown up to be a wise, independent lady, thanks to you Seojoon. Thank you." Dahyun nodded and sniffed at her tears. "And now that you're here, we can finally be together whenever we want and start our relationship for all time...

"... always." Seojoon took the turn to finish her words. "I love you, Dahyun."

"I love you too, Seojoon."

Both of them smiled and locked their hands together.

"Unnie! Where are you?" Someone shouted from the house. They both heard it and got alarmed, Seojoon was surprised at the familiar voice.

"There's also someone you would be very glad to see." Dahyun said to him.

The door opened, and Seojoon broke down with more tears as he saw the owner of that voice standing in front of him looking very much alive and enthusiastic.

"O-oppa?"

"H-Ha... Harin..."

"OPPA!"

Her cousin ran at him and Seojoon greeted him with a tight embrace. "Harin... Y-You're here... oh thank God, oppa missed you so much..."

"I missed you too, oppa."

He grabbed the back of his head and kissed her repeatedly on the top. Dahyun was touched at this wholesome scene.

Seojoon stood up and holds both Dahyun and Harin's hands. They formed a circle and Seojoon looked at them admiringly as he finally got reunited with the most cherished ones who entered in his life.

Back on Earth few days later, Dahye was the last person who remained in front the grave of her parents, Dahyun and Seojoon after the funeral ended.

She stared and grieved on their resting place one last time. Dahye pulls out her wallet where it contains the pictures of her and Seojoon and the old picture of Dahyun that serves as her only kept remembrance of her when it was shown to her by Seojoon as he explained to her about Dahyun being her biological mother before.

Dahye sometimes imagines what would it be like if they were a complete family, and she can experience how it feels to have a mother's love.

She looks above the skies, a bittersweet smile displayed in her lips. Dahye securedly holds the pictures into her chest.

"I hope you two are having fun up there. You two deserved it. Rest in peace, eomma and appa."

At the same time in the immaculate heavens far away from the mortal world, Seojoon and Dahyun were playing their favorite piece together in the piano as they sat beside each other while her head is on his shoulder. Harin is on the floor, listening with them while she's coloring her book.

When the song ends, Dahyun leans away and looked at Seojoon lovingly; and the two shared their first ever kiss empowered of nothing but an everlasting love they can exchange for one another on their new life in the eternal paradise called heaven.

#twicedahyun #dahyun #kimdahyun #twicedahyunxmreader #twicedahyunxmalereader #twice #twiceoneshots #twiceau #twicefanfic #twicedahyunoneshot #twicedahyunau #twicedahyunfanfic #kpoponeshots #kpopau #kpopfanfic

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suzumenokakimono · 2 years

Text

Feelings for you

Pairing: Namjoon x reader

Genre: soulmates!au, smut, fluff, angst, enemies to lovers

Word count: 50k (oh, for fuck’s sake...)

Summary: Everyone wants to find their soulmate. Except for you. You don’t believe having a soulmate is solving anything or is the key to happiness. You just wish this would never happen to you.

A/N: My drama loving ass wrote this. I've read some nice and very creative imagines from the soulmate genre and wanted to make my own. Of course, I had to make it weird...

I don’t care if it’s too long. It’s an important one, wanted to make it special.

I am posting this on my birthday as a gift from me to me!

Masterlist

-------

“Baby, I love you so much.”

“I know, I-I love you too…”

“Please, don’t ever think that I could leave you. I will always be here, with you.”

-------

When Soulmates are born

their eyes are opened the same night

making them carry the same mark

-------

The clock was ticking. It was a big, ugly, plastic clock and someone had put it on the wall. It was supposed to be easy for everyone in the room to check up on time from every possible spot. But instead of being convenient, it had been annoying since day one. Everybody hated it. It was so loud that if at any moment during a meeting a silence fell in the room, the ticking was taking over and it was the only thing that everyone could hear. Extremely annoying. And yet nobody had taken it off, accepting its existence and annoyance.

Namjoon was sitting in his seat, blindly staring at the table in front of him. His coffee was already cold, he hadn’t even taken a sip from it. He had no idea what time actually was. He was pretty sure it had stopped at some point for him and the clock had become even more useless. He even had stopped to hear the ticking. He barely remembered entering his floor at the office in the morning. He’d done that automatically, like every single day, for the past three weeks.

He was sitting in silence for quite some time. His boss had been talking for about 15 minutes but not many of his words had been heard. Namjoon had been ignoring him almost from the beginning. His mind was completely somewhere else, focused on the past events that had led him to that exact situation. So many had happened, so many things had fucked up, he wasn’t sure where to start. His life was falling apart every passing moment and he was pretty sure he’d lost all his will power to do anything.

Before he had been sat down and scolded like a child at school, he had been full of energy that burst out of him like a lava from a volcano. He had been ready to destroy things, scream at people and move buildings with his own hands. But cooling down had made him lose all the power, going even below the 0 point, making him feel completely dead inside. It all had disappeared as fast as it had come to him. He wasn’t sure if it had been worth it.

He wished he could teleport into a different place. Somewhere quiet, somewhere empty, somewhere without people. And somewhere where time had actually stopped three weeks ago and none of the following events had happened. And his life had been still in one piece.

He heard his name had been said. At least he remembered it. One thing that he could have been certain about, his name.

He looked at his boss with an expressionless face. He had no fucking clue what he had been talking about but politely let him finish. He didn’t see any point in taking part in that conversation, which mostly looked like a monologue anyway.

“Namjoon, look at me!”, the boss's voice was sharp. It hurt Namjoon’s ears.

“I am looking at you.”

“You two need to get it together. You need to work together. Figure this out. Now.”

He pointed at Namjoon. And then at someone who was also in the room. He wanted to make it clear that was the end of his speech. He made a pause and eye contact with the only two people present in the room, making sure nobody had missed his words.

Namjoon raised his eyebrows. Was he waiting for an applause? If Namjoon had at least a little strength left inside of him, he would stand up and start to clap his hands in the most passive aggressive way there was. But it cost too much energy. He didn’t find it.

His boss had been a pain in the ass for the past few weeks. He’d been on and on about latest project and Namjoon’s hands were full, to say the least. He’d been exhausted with his work and barely had had a chance to rest. When he had thought this would end anyway at some point, that it couldn't be any worse and he could finally take a breath, his private life had shattered like the last Christmas ball on his Christmas tree. It had only made his work even more unbearable, because he lost his last getaway from it.

At first he had thought it might become his distraction, something he could lose himself into. People did that. Focus on one thing and forget about everything bad in their lives. The plan was good, except for one small detail.

You.

Namjoon looked at you.

You were sitting at the same table, right in front of him. Your sight was averted, you weren't looking at him or your boss. You were definitely avoiding eye contact.

You knew very well the whole big speech was directed not only to Namjoon, but also to you. You were the reason you both had to sit there and nod your heads to everything that had been said. Namjoon was pretty sure if it weren’t for you, his life would have been much better and easier. Well, at least his work life.

Since you’d shown up everything had gone to hell. He hadn’t gotten his dream promotion and he had to deal on a daily basis with someone who was the cause of that. You’d been undermining his position, arguing with him about everything and making him look bad, like he had no idea what he was doing. It’d been so frustrating he’d started to lose his heart for the job and a hope it would get better, someday.

He hated you so much. He was blaming you for everything. He was always able to find something. Everyday was an opportunity.

But that day was probably the peak of your work-life-relationship.

First of all, you’d been late. You’d come 30 minutes after you were usually starting your work. You hadn’t even given a good excuse like you’d felt you had no obligation to. He hadn’t bought your lame story about an urgent doctor’s appointment.

You looked weird, though. Your typically shiny hair was a mess and you’d been always trying to at least make them look decent. Not that he had paid attention to that or anything. Admitting that he liked anything about you was way past his dignity. He was certain you were aware of the hairstyle disaster, since you’d been fiddling with it all the time. He’d almost felt sorry for you.

But then during the meeting with the whole team you had pointed out all his mistakes he had made the past few months, making a point he had been not the good choice for the project. He’d been so shocked at first he hadn’t said anything. But then he’d lost it and your boss had had to come between you two.

You were loud, you were annoying, you were fucking rude and you were never listening. There was no worse person to work with.

Namjoon had started wondering what the hell was wrong with you and how he had deserved to be with you in one room.

He looked at you closely. You indeed looked weird.

Your messy hair became less important when your pale face had come into the frame.You didn’t look sick, yet, but very tired.

He’d also perceived you had a bandage on your right wrist. During the whole meeting, whenever you’d been moving your hand, it had shaken. Like you’d been in pain. Was that the reason for your mystery doctor’s appointment? Were you hurt? Had you been doing something in your apartment that was the cause of your state? He could only guess, after all after all those months working together he had never had a chance to get to know you better, too focused on arguing and fighting.

You both heard your boss closing the door, leaving you in an empty conference room.

The last thing Namjoon wanted. How the hell was he supposed to FIGURE THIS OUT?

Working with you had been so impossible. Maybe he hadn’t been trying as much as he should have been but you hadn’t been better! It had not been entirely his fault.

“What are we gonna do about this?”, you asked, surprising him.

You sounded super annoyed, ready to fight again. Yet Namjoon felt like he had lost all his strength and willpower. Before he had been screaming like his life was depending on it. But the moment had passed, he actually had to focus really hard so he would not burst into tears right in front of you. But with the time passing by, there was a chance he would stop caring about this like he had had about anything else.

“Are you even listening?”, you were still annoyed and annoying.

“I’m not deaf.”, his voice was surprisingly calm.

“Are you dead, though?”

Namjoon bit the inside of his cheek. He was pretty damn sure you were doing this on purpose. You had an amazing skill of pushing him to the edge.

“I’m not dead… just done.”, he sighed.

His answer surprised you. You couldn’t bet on what he had meant by that. Was he talking about your fight during the meeting? You sat up straight in your seat, turning upfront to him.

“Done with what?”

“We’ve been fighting for so long… everything has fallen apart… I’m so done.”

He closed his eyes and just laid his forehead on the table.

You went silent. You had no idea what was going on. Should you say something? But what? You opened your mouth but no sound left it. You had no idea how to react to that. He definitely was not talking about your meeting.

It was weird seeing him like that. With each passing second he seemed smaller and smaller, like he was sinking inside of him. You felt a little uncomfortable. It had never been this quiet with you two in the room, it seemed so unnatural.

You tried to gather your thoughts, find something appropriate for the situation, which was so new for you. Your default state with Namjoon was at least passive aggressive, usually without the first part, though. You shifted in your seat. Was he expecting any reaction from you, anyway? He was just sitting there, waiting for something?

You had never even tried to have just a simple conversation with him. You were scared that was not the right time to start anyway. Right after your big, maybe the biggest fight ever? What should you even talk about?

One thing was certain. Something was off, you felt it in the air. You took a deep breath and found the courage inside of you to finally speak.

“What…”

“My girlfriend left me.”, he cut in suddenly, out of nowhere.

You definitely did not expect that. Definitely not a personal confession. And not this caliber. You were not ready for that!

What the hell?! Why had he said that?

You froze in your seat being completely taken aback. This was getting out of hand.

You had no idea he’d had a girlfriend. Hell, you had no idea about his private life whatsoever. You were feeling like you’d missed a lot of steps in between and were finding out about the end of the story, not knowing what had happened before. Or even how it actually had started.

“Um, OK. Sorry to hear that.”

It had sounded so much better in your head. But you had no clue what else to say. You weren’t his friend and it was hard for you to even care about his problems. You just wanted him to get off your back and let you do your job.

But then you looked closely at him.

He’d picked himself up from the table. He seemed to be really deep in his thoughts. Saying what he had said put him mentally back to that specific moment and he was living through it all over again. It was not easy, that thing was certain. He was hurting and he was hurting alone. Had he talked about this with anyone? You, not knowing about his girlfriend was one thing. But you’d never heard any rumors about them dating or breaking up. He hadn’t talked with someone in the office, he hadn’t shared. Were you actually the first person he said this all to?

You started to wonder if you should actually start a conversation, show an interest. This was overwhelming, you had to admit. But at the same time he had shared with you such a private thing, there was no turning back. Might as well just talk to him.

You still weren’t sure why he had done that, though.

Namjoon grunted in his throat. He was slowly starting to get back to reality. He wasn’t looking at you, his sight seemed empty and distant. But he had to be aware of your presence, because he started to talk again.

“After three years.”, he leaned his forehead in his palm, massaged his head. “After three years of being together, I got home and she was gone.”, he said after a long pause.

Namjoon’s voice cracked for a moment and you thought he would start crying. He was really close, but eventually he didn’t. He sighed heavily. That had cost him a lot. He looked like someone who would really need to talk, get everything from his chest. You were very certain you were not the right person. But there was nobody else in the room.

“Did she tell you why?”, you asked, quietly.

It was so strange for both of you. You had calmed down from your previous fight in the meeting but still a conversation like that was a very new experience.

Namjoon closed his eyes and hid his head in his arms. That day, the day he had been left alone, had been like a nightmare attacking his mind, yet again. He was not dealing with it very well. He’d been actually suppressing all those memories from the beginning. It all had come so sudden and he hadn’t been prepared. Although, he would have never been prepared for something like that. How could he?

He had too much stuff on his head and hadn’t found a way and the courage to let them all out. And to be completely fair, he was scared to talk to any of his friends. He had this image of the situation that if he said anything, admitted that he had been dumped, it would all become true and there would be no turning back. And he still had some hope she would come back and they would figure this all out.

Figuring out.

He looked at you, probably for the first time during your unexpected conversation. He seemed surprised you were there, even though he knew that very well. Yet, his facial expression was showing otherwise. He blinked, trying to clear his vision. He was fully getting back on Earth and to what was actually happening in the meeting room.

Embarrassment attacked him like a wild beast. He actually had shared part of his story with you. What the actual fuck. He was in a worse state than he had thought.

He shook his head, it was too much.

“I’m gonna go.”

He stood up from his seat.

“Wait-what?”

“You don’t care anyway.”

“Wait, no!”, Namjoon stopped and looked at you. He was impatiently waiting for what you were about to say. He wanted to leave and hide in the darkest possible corner in the office. “You are right. I don’t care. But, you don’t care what I think either. I can think whatever I want. And you can say whatever you want. You look like someone who needs to… well, talk.”

The fact that you were right really pissed him off.

“I guess....”, he still wasn’t happy about the idea.

“I won’t bite.”, you patted the table in front of you, asking him to get back. You used your bandaged hand, it shook when it was in the air, making you wince a little.

He was still not convinced but moved in his spot, closer to his chair.

“Do you want to do this or not? This is my final offer.”

Namjoon took a deep breath and sat back in his seat.

Deciding for this, being fully aware of what was happening scared him. He was about to talk with you like he should have been with someone close to him.

But. You were fucking right. He didn’t care about your opinion or thoughts about him. You weren’t close to him and maybe that would make everything easier.

He didn’t start to talk at first, though. Just because he had agreed with you, it didn’t mean it was easy.

“So, what happened?”, you tried to encourage him.

Namjoon sat there for a moment, looking at the table, gathering his thoughts.

What had actually happened? It was so fresh to him. He hadn’t had a moment to sit down and organize all the events, analyze the situation and basically try to understand. Because he didn’t.

“Three weeks ago my girlfriend, whom I still love, left without a word. I came home from work and she was gone. She took all her stuff… and left.”

He stopped talking for a moment. He took a deep breath, he felt fresh tears gathering in the corners of his eyes. He needed to calm himself. Saying all this, remembering all those details yet again was too painful. Three weeks and he still didn’t accept the fact that she had left him.

You waited patiently, not sure what to say anyway. His story definitely did not finish.

“Night before… she left, we had a fight. She thought I was cheating on her.”

“Were you?”

“No! I would never do that!”

“So why did she think that you were?”

“We… I…”, he found it difficult to put it in some coherent words. “She saw something. Something I was hiding from her.”

His story finally started to sound interesting.

“OK, I know you said you didn’t cheat on her but… this doesn’t sound good.”

“I did not cheat on her!”

“Fine! I believe you!”, you raised your hands in surrender. Your right hand was shaking as always and you were pretty bad in pretending it was not hurting you. “So, what did she see?

He shifted in his place, looking slightly uncomfortable. Obviously, he was not prepared for this conversation and he still had to process that it was happening with you. The last person he would have even considered talking with. But so far, you’d been acting decently and he didn’t want to kill you.

Namjoon took a deep breath. And then he rolled up the right sleeve of his hoodie just a little above his wrist. He put his hand on the table and turned the inside of his forearm to you.

“She saw this.”

And you saw it. Right there and then, that he had a soulmate mark.

His right wrist was covered with thin, black lines, swirling around on his skin. It was about 5cm long, small, with not that much of the details. It was definitely fresh and new.

Soulmate marks were very rare and you were fully aware of that.

When they were showing up, their pattern was simple, saying that was just the beginning of the journey for their owners. Namjoon’s was very basic, everything was yet ahead of him.

He was looking at it with you, his finger trailed on its lines. His hand was slightly swollen but for some reason looked much better than in the morning that day.

He’d been hiding it from his girlfriend for a week. Wearing long sleeve shirts and all kinds of hoodies or pullovers had been helping but had not been the solution for his situation. At some point he had had to take them off, change, take a shower. Pretending there was nothing on his wrist had been difficult and exhausting. And like his soulmate mark had known that very well, his wrist had gotten all swollen and it had hurt. Eventually, the pain had been what had betrayed him. He hadn’t been good at hiding it.

It hadn’t fully healed from the swelling but it already looked better. He had never paid much attention to that but it had started to look better after he had come back to an empty home. Right when he could have stopped pretending and hiding.

His wrist had regained its natural color, for some reason he’d started to feel really well.

He hadn’t noticed how you tensed up seeing his mark. How your eyes had gotten bigger.

You scratched your wrist while looking at his.

He looked at you, then at your hand.

“What happened to you?”

You quickly hid your hand under the table, completely ignoring his question. You felt sweat going down your neck. Was the room getting hotter or was it just you?

“Are you OK?”

“No-Yes. I’m OK.”

“Are you sure?”

“I’m completely fine.”

Of course you were not but you couldn’t tell him that. Just because he had just shared his problems with you it didn’t mean you had to do the same.

You really wanted to leave that room. Immediately.

“Are we done here?”

Your question was way too harsh and you realized that the moment it had left your mouth. But you didn’t rephrase it, it was pointless. You had not become best friends just because he had shared some of his private life with you, so you didn’t have to change your behavior towards him.

Namjoon knew that but still rolled his eyes on you.

“Yes, you can go. I release you!”

You stood up like your chair was on fire and simply left. Namjoon stayed after you for a few minutes. He didn’t care you had left, he didn’t think about that. He still needed to process the whole situation. Saying everything to you and even showing his soulmate mark had opened that wound yet again. He had to gather himself and calm down.

Next day, you didn’t come to work. Namjoon had come in earlier to avoid regular fights next to the coffee machine. He looked at your desk, your computer was not on, you weren’t there.

The day before, when he had come back home he had felt like extreme weight had been taken from his chest. From his heart. After showing you his soulmate mark, he had felt such a relief. Finally, somebody knew and possibly understood what he was going through. Sure, it was you and he could think about at least twenty people who would be much better candidates for listeners of his story. But you’d been right about him not caring about what you thought. And because of that it might have been much easier for him to just say everything he had to.

He wanted to thank you, probably for the first time since you’d both met. But he felt like he needed to. You hadn’t been obliged to hear his story and yet you had done that. He really appreciated that.

But you weren’t there. He didn’t care much, but was curious what had happened. For the first time he actually had made decent contact with you. It felt like he had met and talked with an alien. For the first time he had seen your human face. Pretty weird experience. But because you hadn’t showed up, he had to postpone that. Thanks to your absence, it actually had been a pretty nice and quiet day.

After work he’d decided to take his usual walk down the river. It’d been a pretty rough week for him and he really needed a rest. On his way there he had bought pistachio ice-cream, enjoying his start of the weekend. It was a nice, warm evening and since he had been feeling so much better, physically and mentally, he felt like finally good times were coming.

He saw you way before he was passing by the bench you’d been sitting on. At first he didn’t want to say “Hi” or anything. Sure, he had thought about it at work but that was different. It was not his business what you were doing there, during your free time. But when he was walking he couldn’t stop himself from glancing at you. You looked weird, yet again. You seemed off, completely not present in that place and time.

He had this thought of coming to you and asking what had been happening and why hadn’t you been at work. You had helped him, maybe he would be able to help you. But that was stupid. He proceeded in his walk, minding his own business.

You hadn’t seen him, he was not rude or anything. He didn’t have to talk to you.

Then why was he feeling guilty leaving you like that? Why was curiosity eating him alive?

He forced himself to go further, passing other people that had gone for a walk that day as well. He passed a family with two kids, an elderly couple, he had lost you from his sight. He had the whole weekend ahead of him, free time to do whatever he wanted.

A moment later, he turned back and stopped a few meters away from you. You still didn’t seem to see him at all. You were too invested in your own thoughts. He took his chances and moved from his spot. Slowly, trying to look nonchalantly he came to your bench and sat next to you. He was still invisible to you, though. He wondered how long it would take for you to actually realize he was there.

He ate his ice-cream, it’d been good ten minutes already and he was unnoticed. It amused him very much.

“If we sit any longer like this, I might jump for a new ice-cream. Want some?”

You could sworn you had a heart attack. You felt your heart jumping into your throat, making you choke on the air. You coughed a few times and with teary eyes looked at Namjoon. He was half smiling at you, probably enjoying your reaction.

“I swear to Lucifer, one day I will kill you and people will only ask: How the hell did she do that and what has taken her so long?”

“Coming straight from hell explains your person very clearly.”

“Why are you following me?”

“I am not doing such a thing. I’d rather ask you what you are doing at my spot?”

You sighed heavily. You were exhausted. The whole week had drained you and you had come there just to breathe.

You scratched your wrist, hidden under a long sleeve. Namjoon did not miss that.

“I come here sometimes to… think.”

“From what I’ve seen you were really deep in your thoughts.”

“I thought you were not following me.”

“I have better things to do. Trust me.”

He looked at you, at the same time when you looked at him. You averted your sight immediately, embarrassed.

“Are you sick?”, he asked.

“What?”

“That’s why you didn’t come to work? You’re sick?”

“I-I… had to do something. Think about something.”

“You seemed not finished, since you’re still here.”

“I have a lot on my mind, thank you very much.”

You tried to tuck your hair behind your ear. It was still messy and had been annoying you the whole time. Your hand shook while doing that, you groaned quietly.

“Seriously, what the hell is wrong with your hand?”

“Wha-I-It’s just an allergy. I bought a new fabric conditioner, now everything is itching like crazy.”

Namjoon raised his eyebrow while looking at you. It was already dark so he wasn’t sure but your face looked pale. When he’d asked you about your wrist you winced a little, like he’d pushed the wrong button.

“But you seem to scratch your wrist only.”

“Yeah well, it’s my wrist that itches.”

Namjoon did not try to find any logic in your words.

“Whatever. Thanks for the talk yesterday at work.”

“Are you feeling any better?”

“Not at all.”, he lied. He wasn’t sure why he had done that. He took a deep breath. “But at least I told someone. I actually didn’t tell anyone about my soulmate mark. Well, anyone besides my girl… ex girlfriend.”, it was still hard for him to call her that.

“Is it weird that I am that someone?”

“Very weird. But still, thank you.”

You shyly smiled, feeling super uncomfortable to show him any kind of affection. He was sitting really close to you, his knee was about to bump into yours.

Namjoon smiled at you too. You’d never paid attention to his smile, his look or anything about him. But right then you noticed his smile, that not only was it charming and gorgeous but also made his dimples pop up. You found them really cute and felt how your cheeks became hot and pink.

You were blushing because of Kim Namjoon. That was absolutely unacceptable.

If Namjoon had seen that, he didn’t say anything.

“Anyway, I’m leaving now. You’re gonna be OK?”

“Don’t need to worry about me.”

“Fine. See you then.”

He stood up and slowly left. He didn’t turn around or anything. He left you on the bench, alone, giving you even more to think about.

-------

Namjoon massaged his right wrist. It was all red and swollen. It’d been bugging him for a few days already. He’d been trying lotion, cream, and putting it under cold water. Nothing had helped and he was starting to feel really annoyed. He lacked options.

Once he had tried to put a big plaster, big enough to cover his whole wrist. For a moment it had worked fine. He’d been pretty happy about it. But a few moments later it had started to burn his skin so much, he’d been scared it would leave scars on his hand. He’d taken it off immediately and had never got back to this idea.

He’d started to sleep in one of his long sleeve shirts. It felt really weird for him because normally he would sleep just in his shorts. He didn’t like doing that but he’d decided to try this until he could find a solution to his problem. So far it only had given him weird looks from his girlfriend and questions what the hell had happened. He really had to figure out something else.

He put his glasses on, after taking out his contacts and left the bathroom. He grabbed a book from a coffee table and went to the bedroom. He had this nice thought of spending the evening in his bed reading the newest novel he had bought recently. Evenings like that were always very relaxing for him. All work related stress was disappearing in a blink of an eye. He could really focus on just exploring the story, not thinking about his daily chaos. .

He jumped on his side of the bed. Soomi was already there, scrolling through the internet on her tablet. His girlfriend really liked to be up to date with the newest world events. She was always reading recent news before going to sleep, trying to catch on with everything that had happened that day.

Pretty occupied with her reading, she did not miss Namjoon’s night time outfit, though.

“Babe, are you not gonna be hot in this? Why are you sleeping in a shirt again?”

“What are you talking about, I’m fine”.

Of course, he wasn’t. He’d never been this uncomfortable in his life. He always slept shirtless, he felt much better that way. That was just the way it was. And of course she knew that. She’d been with him for three years, she had had time to notice something. How long would he be able to play his little game? His wrist was bugging him and he did not have a better idea how to deal with it.

He sat comfortable in his spot, fixed his glasses on his nose and opened his book. His idea was to focus on that, pretending there was nothing wrong with his sleeping habit and nobody’s skin was screaming at anybody.

“Joon.”

“Hm?”, he didn’t even look at her from above his book. He was hoping she would get a hint and leave the subject of his shirt alone.

But instead of that she put her tablet on a night stand on her side and moved closer to him. She leaned her body on his, laying her head on his shoulder and looking at the title page of his book. He was supposed to read, but so far he hadn’t read much.

“What’s wrong?”, she cooed. She started to massage his shoulder that was closer to her.

“Hm? What do you mean?”, he was still playing dumb.

“You know what I mean.”

“I’m just cold.”

“That’s some bullshit and we both know that. Talk to me.”

Namjoon chuckled and closed his book. Apparently, it was not meant for him to read that evening. He took off his glasses and put everything on his nightstand. He turned to Soomi and looked her in the eyes.

“You’ve been asking too many questions, you know that?”, he smiled.

She wanted to say something more, answer his rhetorical question but he didn’t give her a chance. Before any word left her mouth he kissed her. He gently cupped her face, pushing on her with his body weight so she would lay down on the pillows. She did not oppose, gladly reciprocated his kisses. She knew very well what he was doing, but decided to play along.

Namjoon trailed his lips down her jawline, to her neck. He hid his face in the crook of it, inhaling her scent and staying like that, enjoying the moment.

“You smell really nice.”, he whispered.

“Don’t change the subject.”

“Oh, I think I will.”

She felt his teeth on her skin when he smiled. He kissed that spot, leaving a wet trail with his tongue. She hummed and tugged his hair a little, keeping him close. Namjoon hadn’t been very affectionate lately, probably because of his work, she assumed. She missed him and even though he was doing all of that to distract her, she couldn't say she did not enjoy that.

Oh fuck that. She could always get back to asking him about his shirts some other time.

Soomi pulled him up to her, found his full lips and kissed him hard. He tasted like toothpaste, he was already pushing his tongue inside her mouth. A moment ago they had been simply occupied with their evening activities. It did not take them much time to change their moods.

Namjoon’s hand traveled from Soomi’s neck to her breast. He squeezed it through her T-shirt, enjoying the sound she made. She had small boobs, his palm easily was able to cover it whole. He always liked that. He always found her body perfect, being more on the petite size.

He started to grind on her, making her groan deep in her throat. He was already half hard, getting more excited with each passing moment. His hand found its way beneath her T-shirt, feeling her soft and hot skin. He immediately got back to fondling her breast, pinching her nipples and feeling how she was rolling her body under his. She wanted him very bad.

But they were both still in their clothes. Things were going too slow. She wanted him somewhere else, she wanted to guide his hand, show him when she needed him the most.

He hissed when she grabbed his wrist. He stopped all his movements, trying to collect himself.

“Joon, what’s wrong? What is going on with you?”

“Nothing… I just need a moment…”

“You sound like an elderly man with an erection dysfunction. Show me your wrist.”

“No… it’s nothing…”

Namjoon didn’t want to lie to her but also had no idea what to say. He'd been really hoping she would just ignore his hand and give him some time to think what he should do.

But she was already pulling up his sleeve.

“What is that? Did you… get a tattoo?”

But the moment she had said that, she realized she’d been wrong. That was not a tattoo.

“You… You have a soulmate mark?”, she whispered.

Namjoon had been scared to death knowing very well that this moment would come up. He was absolutely clueless how to react. There was no good answer to her question. He started to mumble something, hoping the right words would just come out with the rest of the sounds he was making. He was not prepared for that conversation. At all.

He didn’t want to lie to her. He knew the only thing that should have been said was the truth. But the truth was so inconvenient.

Soomi was lying on the bed, still underneath him, not moving. Eyes wide opened, mind jumping from one thought to another. Discovering her boyfriend’s soulmate mark was an absolute shock to her but at the same time, she knew exactly what his mark meant. What it meant to her.

“But… I don’t have one…”, she whispered.

That realization was probably even worse than the previous discovery.

The day his mark had showed up, Namjoon had been thrilled. His first thought had been that he had to run like a wind to his loved one and show her his mark. He’d wanted to share that with her, see her face, her smile. He hadn’t thought about being the only one with a soulmate mark in that relationship. It had never occurred to him that that might be the case. It was weird because he’d known very well how those worked and yet he’d subconsciously ignored that and had thought that they both had those.

He’d quickly discovered she was not his soulmate. His girlfriend of three years had not had a soulmate mark. It’d been a real, cold shower for him.

He’d realized there was someone else. Someone else for him. Another woman had the same mark on her hand as his. A woman that he hadn’t known yet.

It'd scared the shit out of him. How the hell was he supposed to accept that? He didn’t want someone else, he wanted his girlfriend! It was definitely not fair! He’d decided to hide his mark and pretend it had never showed up. He had no idea how to do that for the rest of his life, assuming he would stay with Soomi but that was a problem for Namjoon from the future.

And Namjoon from the future hated Namjoon from the past, while lying in his bed with a mortified girlfriend right beneath him.

“Babe…”

When he’d spoken she snapped from her thoughts and looked at him. He didn’t like what he’d seen in her eyes.

She crawled from under him and stood next to the bed. She was walking in place, was very nervous and anxious. Namjoon was waiting for her to say something, anything.

“Namjoon… Are you seeing someone?”, she asked.

“What? No, baby, no!”

“But there is another girl! Your soulmate!”

“What… there is nobody…”, he lost track of their conversation.

“But.... Do you know her?”

“What-No! What are you talking about? There is nobody else!”

“But-but…”, she clearly got stuck on something but wasn’t able to go further. Namjoon left the bed and reached out to her. She was starting to shake, trying to gather all new information that was attacking her mind. Her head was full of images of Namjoon with someone else. She had tons of questions and all of them tried to get out at the same time.

“I’m not your soulmate.”

Instead of asking anything, she’d just said what both of them had already known. She looked at him. He didn’t dare to move further or speak. What else could he say?

“We’ve been together for three years. And now… Do we need to break up?”, her voice betrayed her, she was fighting with tears coming to her eyes.

“What? Soomi, what the fuck ?! Stop this! Nobody is breaking up with anybody!”

Tears were coming down her face with big, heavy drops. She was looking at him with her eyes, wide open, asking more and more silent questions that were too painful to say them out loud. It was horrible for him to see her like that. It was breaking his heart that his stupid mark had made her feel that way, had made her doubt him or his love to her.

He quickly took a step that was parting him and Soomi and just hugged her. He enveloped her in his arms and when she tried to escape he held her, until she stopped.

“I love you.”

She sighed heavily. Her tears were staining his shirt.

“But… I don’t have…”

“I don’t care. I love you and this mark doesn’t mean anything to me.”

“How can you ignore your soulmate mark?”, she dared to move, raised her arms and grabbed his shirt on his chest with her fists.

“I’ve been doing this for the whole week...”

“A week?”, she looked up at him. “You’ve been having it for the whole week? And you didn’t tell me?”

“I thought… Because you don’t... “, he started to mumble again.

“Because I don’t have one.”, she put her head down again, feeling very much defeated.

“Listen. It-doesn't-matter. I am not going anywhere. I will not leave you. I love you.”

He really meant that. He loved his girlfriend very much. He was happy. He loved and was loved. Their relationship was like any other. They had their ups and downs and in the end they were good for each other and he was feeling very comfortable with her. Losing her was not an option.

They went back to bed. None of them was thinking about reading anything, nobody had sex on their minds. They both laid down and went to sleep. Namjoon wrapped his arms around Soomi. He wanted to keep her as close as possible and never let her go.

-------

Dying Soulmate disfigures the mark

destroys its holder

taking Soulmate’s life

-------

Monday morning, before going to the office, Namjoon had stepped into a convenience store to buy himself something sweet to eat. His sweet tooth was very well known among his friends and colleagues. Whenever they wanted something from him they were bringing a jar of Nutella and the negotiations could start. That day he had been also craving chocolate but had something else on his mind.

He saw two freshly baked chocolate muffins left, so he bought both of them. At first he had thought of eating one after breakfast and the second one in the evening, to cheer up after a long, hard day at work. And he knew very well that that day would not be any different.

But when he left the store a sudden thought hit him.

What if he shared the second one with you?

Now, he had to raise his eyebrows on himself because of that idea. Why the fuck he had thought of that? His mind was definitely playing tricks on him. After just two, normal conversation with you, he already had been thinking about sharing his muffins with you? Unacceptable.

But everybody loved chocolate, right? So, it should suit your taste. Since he had absolutely no clue what you actually liked it was good to aim for something basic. Why was he buying you food again?

He didn’t find the answer to his question but he decided that that could actually wait. He didn’t want to be late at work and while he already had those muffins, he could always make up his mind later, when he would be thinking much more clearly.

At the office he’d discovered you were not there, anyway. He wanted to wait for you but he quickly found out you were sick and were not going to show up. All muffins for him, then!

But he was looking at your desk. Usually he was able to see the top of your head, hear how you were typing on your keyboard and swearing under your nose when work was killing you, again. It was so quiet. He had no idea he would be ever missing that.

Next day was the same. And the next one. On Friday he didn’t even expect you to come. He assumed you would rather stay at home ‘till the end of the week and rest, which made sense. He enjoyed his days off from you, anyway.

But on the next Monday he heard something he would never expect. He was told you’d resigned from work. You were not going to show up, since you’d asked to use your days off and then you simply were going to leave.

He sat down at his desk, blindly looking at his computer screen.

What.The.Actual.Fuck.

You had never told him anything about that. What the fuck had happened that you had to quite that job? Was it him? Was it your recent encounters? Or the fact that there was something wrong with you, because he was pretty damn sure it had to be!

You couldn't have just left him. You had a project together, a project that was coming and you had to be there. The whole team needed you. That was fucking unbelievable!

Oh he was pissed.

He got your address from one of your coworkers. He’d lied about dropping you some of your stuff you’d left behind. He quickly took an artificial plant from your desk as a cover up and after he’d finished his work he stormed out of the office. He despised the idea of fake plants so he felt an urge to throw it away on his way to you. But this plant was his excuse to actually visit you at your place.

You didn’t expect him. You opened your door wearing just a loose T-shirt and black leggins. You were tired and not feeling well. The whole week had been a complete nightmare for you.

When you saw Namjoon on your doorstep, with your plant for some reason, you panicked. He was the last person to actually come to you, the last person you wanted to see.

You looked like a deer caught on the flashlights.

Before he spoke, you left him with his mouth already opening and ran like crazy to your bedroom. Namjoon was as taken aback as possible. You were more insane than he had ever thought.

He slightly pushed the door open and came inside. Your apartment was full of boxes, some of them still stuffed with your belongings. You probably hadn’t had a chance to unpack everything yet. Namjoon remembered you had moved to his city less than three weeks ago. He put your stupid plant on a floor and forgot about that abomination’s existence.

When you came back you were wearing an oversized hoodie, with sleeves definitely too long for your arms. Your fingers were shyly peeking at the end, you were covered from top to bottom.

Seeing you reminded him why he'd actually come and immediately ignited the fire, again.

He craved violence.

“What’s up?”, you asked.

“I could ask you the same thing. What the fuck “You resigned from work” actually means? When were you going to tell me about it?”

“Um, now?”

“What the fuck, Y/N! You can’t just disappear for a week and then say that you will never come back! This is ridiculously irresponsible!”

“Ok, calm down.”

“No, I will not calm down! You can’t… You need… You stole my job and now you’re just leaving?!”

Namjoon was so pissed he could scream the whole night at you and still he would not finish.

Six months ago he had been trying for a promotion at work. He’d been working his ass off, showing his boss he was the right person. It had been an open recrutation so there had been other people ready to take that position. But he had been so sure it would be his!

And then you’d showed up. Everyone had been talking about you like you were a seventh miracle. They had hired you the next day.

You had been living in a different city so you’d agreed to work remotely until you’d find a new place. It had taken you some time but you’d finally moved and started to work with Namjoon in the office.

For him it was like a slap in the face. He’d tried to be nice to you, to work with you. But you had not made that easy for him. You’d been fighting probably since day one. Meeting you in person had not helped. If anything it had made everything worse.

And you were leaving, throwing away he had worked for so far, like it was nothing?!

Namjoon felt like the whole world was against him and was punishing him for something he did not remember doing.

And everything was going around you.

Everything that had been falling apart for the past few weeks was your fucking fault.

And right then and there you were standing in front of him, communicating to him that you’d dropped everything without any good reason. Just like that. A job that he had been working so hard for. It was so unfair he wanted to tear his clothes, fall on the floor and cry.

Instead of that he had chosen to scream at you even more.

You took a step back, just to avoid a collision with his flying hands. Your left palm went straight to your right wrist as a reflex to massage it. Namjoon did not miss that, though at first he ignored that. You’d been doing that since the memorable day in the conference room. He had been explaining that with some stupid ideas of his, just to not think about that too much.

But he looked closely at you. Your face was unusually pale, more than before. You looked like you could use a good sleep and a big meal. And you scratched your hand, again! That was like a final straw.

He took a deep breath to start yelling at you with a new strength.

“Ok, what the fuck is wrong with your hand?”

“My hand?”, you played dumb.

“Yes, your fucking hand. It’s driving me crazy!”

“I told you… It's a fabric conditioner…”

“You look like you are about to pass out. It’s not a fabric conditioner. I have never heard about one that would make your ONE WRIST to be itchy.”

“Well…”

“No. Show me.”

You froze in place hearing his request. You wrapped your hand around the mentioned wrist and started to calculate if jumping out of the window from your apartment would kill you. Showing him the cause of your state seemed much less painful.

Namjoon was watching you all the time. He would not leave before you showed him your hand. He was done with all that bullshit in his life and he demanded answers.

You’d been fairly defeated so you had no other choice.

You grabbed your right sleeve and slowly rolled it up. Namjoon saw how your whole wrist, part of your hand and forearm had been bandaged. Nobody does that because of itching skin. He looked at your face. You seemed pretty uncomfortable but you did not stop. You started to unwrap your bandage, you hissed when you were halfway done. It clearly hurt you.

When your hand was finally free you turned the inside of it towards Namjoon. The view truly shocked him.

Your skin was even more pale than your face. It was full of scratches, bloody ones. You definitely did not fuck around. Colorful bruises were fulfilling the image. Your hand looked like a zombie’s hand. But despite all of that he saw it. Under everything your soulmate mark was still very clearly visible. And it was the same as his.

You could swear he had stopped breathing. His sight was glued to your hand, he was not blinking. His mind was trying to convert the information he had just been given.

You had a soulmate mark and it was the same as his.

You were his soulmate.

What.

Namjoon felt like his soul had left his body.

“Y/N. Are you seeing what I’m seeing?”, his voice was unusually high.

He was definitely in shock. You could not blame him. Finding out that your least favorite person was your soulmate could not be pleasant. You knew that very well.

You sighed and hid your hand, tired of standing like that.

“I realized when you showed me yours for the first time. I wasn’t looking that closely but had no doubts it’s the same as mine.”

Namjoon’s eyes were so big at that moment, he could easily be an anime character.

“Y/N, you hate me. And I’m not your fan either. How the hell is this possible?”

“It’s not like I asked for it.”

Namjoon stopped looking at you and glued his sight in front of him. All that new information was attacking him from every possible direction. He was getting dizzy.

Everything was coming together, everything was gathering in one place, in one, specific person.

You.

“You-You… You are the cause… You are the reason for everything that happened to me…”

You were the reason for him not getting his job.

You were the reason his girlfriend had broken up with him.

You were the reason.

“I can’t breathe. I need to leave. Now!”

Namjoon stormed out of your apartment before you were able to say anything. You closed the door behind him, since he hadn’t bothered to do that.

You weren’t sure if it was good that he knew about your mark. You’d done everything to hide it from him. Even before you’d known who your soulmate was, you’d been covering it up. Namjoon was never supposed to find out. But he’d been too persistent, too curious and too annoying. It was done and you both had to deal with that. How? That was a whole nother problem.

He had no idea how but he had ended up at the river. He probably instinctively had chosen that place. A place that was giving him peace, which he needed so bad.

He had left your apartment in a panic. He barely remembered that moment. It was all fuzzy to him. He’d ran down the stairs, had nearly jumped out of the building and had kept running until his lungs had given up. When he had cooled down a little he realized he was at his usual spot, right next to the bus stop, where he was always getting off from work. So he started to walk.

He took a deep breath. Something definitely was not right. You were supposed to be his soulmate? For starters, he hated your guts. Truly, from the bottom of his heart. Second of all, weren’t soulmates supposed to be strangers to each other and use their marks to recognize one another? He had been dealing with you for six months, counting all that time of your remote work. How the hell was this all possible?

You were his soulmate.

It was so ridiculous. The last person to be even taken as his colleague!

You’d cost him so much. If it hadn’t been for you, he would still be with Soomi. She would have never left him and he would be happy and none of the following events would have ever happened.

Maybe he would even get his dream job.

This was absolutely ridiculous.

He started to run. He was already down the river, doing a circle around the promenade. There were not many people around, chilly weather had made them stay at home. Namjoon speeded up feeling a new strength and urge to run like crazy. His lungs were protesting, but he ignored them. He was running forward, making circle after circle, clearing his head.

He stopped when he almost fell over. His legs were screaming for help and he could barely breathe. But his head felt so light and empty. He felt like he’d left all this thoughts about that stupid soulmate mark and you behind him. He’d been running so fast they had no chance to hunt him down. He sat on the grass, fighting for his breath. He was absolutely exhausted but was feeling so much better. He needed that.

He laid on the ground and spread his arms and legs on both of his sides. It was getting cold and he was all sweaty and sore. But he needed that so bad.

He looked at the sky. There were not many stars visible because of the city lights. But it seemed so peaceful. He ignored all the cars’ noise, all those city sounds and just calmed down.

A tear showed up in the corner of his eye and went down his cheek. At first he was surprised. He was not feeling sad or anything. He wiped the wet trail with his fingers. But another came and another after that. He started to cry without any good reason. Or at least he thought that. He’d been so much stressed lately he didn’t remember how it was to feel normal. He’d been losing so much lately, his life was shattered but he’d been doing everything he could to hide that from everyone. It was hard for him to open up, especially about his private life. He’d decided to suffer in silence and just go with his life.

But he realized he didn’t have to anymore. He was still surprised how easy it had been to actually say everything to you. You were the last person he’d wanted to talk to but you were the first person he’d actually done that. And after all you were the right person to do that.

He covered his face with his palms and started to laugh. It was a real and honest laughter and had come to him just like his tears. But he didn’t stop. He was already feeling like a lunatic. His eyes were already fully wet, probably red as well. There was nothing left for him. He grunted and rolled on the grass a few times. That was all pure madness.

He stood up and looked around. There was nobody there, nobody had seen him breaking down. Not that he actually cared. But he was all sweaty and after cooling down he felt how cold it had become. He shivered and started to walk to his bus stop. He’d cleared his head, he’d tired his body, he felt how empty his stomach was. It'd been a long day, he wanted to eat something good.

After that evening, he started to come to the river every day. He’d been changing into his gym clothes in the office bathroom after he’d finished his work and instead of going home, he was going to run. He’d discovered how much it was helping him. Helping him to calm down, to clear his head and organize his thoughts. You were still coming to the office so he’d had one problem solved but at the same time you’d created another one. He needed badly to set everything straight.

Each day he was running down the river until he was out of his breath. He was putting his earphones in, turning the music as loud as he could and losing himself into. His body had been protesting at the beginning. He liked sports and exercising but he’d never been into long distance running. It was new to him and he had to find his own rhythm.

Each day he was seeing you on the bench. First time he’d thought he was having hallucinations and had ignored you completely. Second time he’d remembered seeing you and before he was passing by the bench he took a glance. It was you, he had not been mistaken. Since then, he’d been always looking in your direction while running in that spot. You were always sitting in the same spot, occupied with thinking, reading or once he’d noticed you drawing. You were always there when he was there.

He wasn’t sure if you’d seen him, though.

On Friday he’d changed his mind and instead of running and tiring himself to death, he’d decided to get back to his usual walks. He left the bus and slowly went to the promenade, enjoying a chilly evening. The past few days had been good, he’d figured a lot of things out but he also needed a rest. He was never good at that, he knew how to overwork himself in every manner but resting was something he still needed to learn.

He went to his favorite place for a snack, he was craving sweets as always and took his usual path down the river. Despite the weather many people had had the same idea and the pavement was not as full as during previous days. He didn’t care though. He was in his own thoughts yet again.

He wasn’t checking the time but it must have been really late. When he was doing another round not many people had left, the pavement seemed pretty empty. He decided to circle his route one last time and then go home. It was cold already and he started to feel tired. His sore muscles were telling him to stop.

As expected, he saw you there, like he’d been that whole week. You were sitting on a bench, the same as always.

He sighed while looking at you. Of course, you hadn’t noticed him at all. If the universe wanted you to be together, it had an extremely weird sense of humor.

Before he sat down on the bench, he had stood right in front of you so you could notice his presence. You looked up at him, zero surprise in your eyes. He had no idea how your heart skipped a bit when you’d seen him.

“I had a feeling I will find you here.”, he smiled.

Namjoon sat next to you without waiting for you to respond in any way.

You both were looking right in front of you, not at each other. People were passing by, invested in their own errands and conversations. Nobody knew what was going on in your heads.

“I don’t get one thing.”, he said, after a long pause, both of you were sitting quietly. “Soulmate marks show up for people that don’t know each other. But… I’ve known you for the last 6 months.”

He had a point. You’d been thinking about that for the past few days as well. It didn’t make any sense.

“When did your mark show up?”

“You know that at the same time as yours.”

You rolled your eyes.

“It was the day when I came to the city.”

“But…”, he was still not connecting the dots.

“We actually have never met before. We were working together, remotely. We’ve met for the first time when I came inside the office.”

Namjoon thought about that day.

He already hadn’t liked you but had been hoping meeting you and working with you in person would help. So, he had been waiting for you the whole morning, even preparing what to say to you. But it had not helped at all. During your first meeting he’d realized he’d been right all that time: you were a Satan’s minion, sent from hell to torment him.

But he had to admit, at least in front of himself, that for a few seconds after he’d seen you for the first time, he’d been pretty enchanted by your beauty. He’d had a problem with accepting the fact that someone who looked like that, had been such a pain in his ass. Because he realized he'd never seen you before. Your camera had been broken and during all your video calls, you’d seen him but he hadn’t seen you.

So, for those seconds, he’d actually liked you.

Namjoon looked at you.

“I guess you’re right.”

You didn’t look like that day at all. Even though, when he’d seen you walking out of the elevator, you both had had your marks already, you’d looked good and definitely not sick. It’d worsen later and he probably had never paid much attention to that, until your final fight during the meeting.

But you still were pretty. He really liked your eyes and still remembered how your hair could be shiny if you’d actually done something with it, instead of tying it up on top of your head and looking like an onion. But he assumed it was comfortable and remembering your state you were in, maybe he shouldn’t have cared about that.

You looked at him. When your eyes met, you felt like your cheeks were getting hot. It was happening again, but still you were not OK with that. So you turned towards the river again.

You yawned, feeling tired. You look at your phone to check the time. It was getting late.

“I think I will go home.”, you announced.

You stood up and started walking. You weren’t expecting any reaction from Namjoon. You didn’t have to explain yourself or anything. But you heard him leaving the bench as well and running to reach you on your way.

“Sounds like a good idea. I’m getting cold anyway.”

“Sure. I’m getting a cab.”, you took out your phone again.

“Don’t mind if I join you? I live on your way home, I will pay my share.”

It was still weird for you to actually do something with him, even if it was sharing a cab. But there was no reason for you to say no. You had no idea where he lived, but he knew very well where your apartment was. You just weren’t sure how he’d actually found out that.

“I guess…”

You didn’t know why he wanted to come with you. But you weren’t able to think of any other good reason than the one he’d given to you. So you both waited for a taxi that you’d ordered and gave the driver Namjoon’s address first.

When the cab driver stopped the car Namjoon leaned over to him to pay his share. With the corner of his eye he noticed you were dozing off right next to him. Your head was swaying to the sides, any moment now you would land on him or the window on your side.

“Y/N! Wake up!”, he slightly shook you by your arm.

You sat straight in a second, opening your eyes. You were feeling dizzy, hangovered.

“I’m not sleeping!”

“So, what was that a moment ago?”

“I’m just…”

“Sick?”

“No, it’s…”

You silenced for a moment, trying to figure out what to actually say. Namjoon on the other hand did not want to wait any longer.

“You can’t go home on your own like this.”

“I’m fine. Leave me alone. Did you pay already?”

“Yeah…”

You ignored his answer and wanted to give the driver your address. You had to focus a little more than usual, you were not feeling your best in that Namjoon had been right. This whole soulmate marks situation was sucking life out of you.

Door on your side of the car opened and you had no idea how. You looked at Namjoon standing on the street and waiting for something.

‘How did you…”

“I won’t let you go home. I would be worried about you. Come with me.”

“What…”

“You really need to rest.”

“That’s why I’m going home…”

“Y/N, please get out of the car.”

For some reason you listened to him. Very not gracefully you left the vehicle. Namjoon quickly informed the driver this was the end of your journey as well. Driver was not waiting for more information. He drove away a moment after Namjoon closed the door.

You were standing on the street, looking after a car driving away.

“Awesome.”, you were not happy about that. “How am I supposed to go home now?”

“Come.”

Namjoon tried to gently take your hand but you pull it away immediately. His intentions were unclear for you and taking his hand felt too weird. Even for that night, even for the situation you’d gotten yourself into. So you just followed him. He led you to a small block of flats and opened the front door. When you were reaching them you felt weak and for a moment you thought you were about to fall down. But Namjoon was there and caught you just in time. He put your arm around his neck, his own around your waist and helped you to go inside. You would never admit it but you were thankful for his help. Having him so close to you was starting to make you feel nervous though.

In his apartment he let you go only when you sat down on the couch. He told you to wait there and went to the bathroom.

You looked around his place. It was smaller than yours or maybe it just felt like that because it was fully furnished. Turned out Namjoon was a collector and there were at least a few figurines on every shelf. He also liked plants, which definitely had attacked one of the walls. You felt weird remembering him bringing you your fake one. Was that a hint to get rid of it or he’d taken it to make you feel better? You’d completely forgotten to even mention the said plant when he had shown up at your place. He also had one full wall covered with bookshelves. And they were truly bending from their weight. Some of them were on the floor as well.

Namjoon came back with a first aid kit and sat next to you on the couch.

“May I?”

He pulled out his hand asking for yours. In a normal situation you would leave a sarcastic comment about him asking for your hand. But you were not only feeling sick, but also started to be very tired. You had no strength to be mean, even to him.

He took your wrist in his hand, very gently started to unwrap your bandage. You’d put it in the morning and you noticed how blood had soaked through the material throughout the day. His touch was very soothing for some reason and when you felt his fingers in your skin you felt warmth. Yes, pain as well, your wrist was fucked up, but his touch was making it smaller somehow, less noticeable.

“This looks very bad. How the fuck did this happen?”, Namjoon had no idea how you were feeling.

He had trouble understanding how you could have done that to yourself. Fresh scratches, bloody scratches were even more visible than before. Your whole forearm was pale, to not say simply white as a piece of chock. Like the whole blood drained through your wounds. And which had made your bruises vividly emphasized. It all had to hurt as fuck.

And despite all of that your soulmate mark was there, untouched and unchanged. He trailed his thumb over it, recognizing every line as they were exactly the same as in his. That seemed to be the only place where you did not feel pain, ironically.

Namjoon took a deep breath and started to prepare a new bandage for you.

“Why are you doing this?”, he asked.

You tried to suppress yawning and didn’t answer at first. Namjoon looked at you from above your wrist, quickly noticing how tired you are.

“What do you mean?”

“Your wounds. You did this to yourself, didn’t you?”

You avoided his sight, trying to figure out the right answer. He realized what you were doing. You were not feeling comfortable with that, even though he’d asked you with real care.

You yawned, a single tear gathered in your eye and went down your cheek. He trailed his thumb over your skin to catch the tear.

“You must be really tired.”, he looked into your eyes, making you slightly embarrassed. “OK, you know what? You can stay and sleep here.”

“Wait-What…?!”

“Not with me, you dumbass.”

You looked at him with your eyes wide open.

“I will sleep on the couch. You will sleep on my bed. It’s a double bed, you will feel comfortable there.”

“I can also… go home…”, you were drifting off already.

“Yeah right. And fall asleep on your way there. It’s late, there is no bus stop here and the metro is not going at this hour. My bedroom is over there.”

“I can call a ca…”

“No.”

He pointed at the door right behind the kitchen. You grunted while standing up from the couch and went there. Namjoon was following and flipped the lights on when you entered the room. He indeed had a big bed. Right next to it was a night stand with a lamp. On one side of the room was a dresser, on the other side an opened closet. More figurines of course and books on the floor. You also noticed a few stuffed animals. Seeing that you actually smiled to yourself. That was so cute and so unexpected. Of course you didn’t want Namjoon to see you smiling, when he was passing by you to take something from the dresser, so you immediately stopped. You promised yourself though to inspect the plushies when their owner would leave you alone.

“Obviously I have nothing in your size…”, Namjoon was rummaging through his drawers.

“That’s fine. I can sleep in my underwear.”

Namjoon froze for a second, understanding what you had meant.

Everything was escalating so quickly. In the morning he’d been at work, later he’d gone for a walk and at that very moment you were supposed to sleep in his bed, just in your underwear. He gulped and closed the drawer using too much strength, which made his figurines fall down.

“OK, fine. If you want to take a shower there are clean towels in the top cabinet. If you need anything, you know where to find me.”

“On your couch?”

He just smiled at you, slightly uncomfortable and left you alone in his bedroom.

You still wanted to get back to your place to just slip into your pajamas and go to sleep in your own bed. But you also were extremely tired, exhausted and wanted to sleep. Your hand had stopped itching, probably for the first time since the mark had showed up. You massaged your wrist, knowing very well what was behind the white material. It was causing nothing but trouble.

You took your pants off and hung them on a closet’s door. Without taking off your hoodie, you unclasped your bra and jerked it out from it. You decided to take a shower in the morning and just fell on the bed like a dead man.

The whole bedding smelled like Namjoon. It was a weird observation, since it was his bed. You had no idea what you had expected.

You reached out to one of the toys next to the pillows. You found a few plushes of Ryan, a lion from Kakao Talk friends. You took one and looked at him. You always thought this guy looked like a bear and finding out it was indeed a lion had been a shock to you. Had a person who had designed that had ever seen a lion?

But you still thought it was cute. You hugged it and closed your eyes, drifting away.

You were fully asleep when a loud noise, followed by a not so loud curse had woken you up.

At first you ignored that, being still half asleep and hoping you would fast come back to your dreamland. But the noise repeated and you opened your eyes and leaned on your elbow. Blindly, you found a lamp on a night stand and turned on the light.

You saw Namjoon kneeling next to the bed with his hand in a drawer in his night stand. Before thinking straight you threw on the floor the plushie that had been your sleeping companion for the night. Your first thought had been about Namjoon not finding out about that.

Second, that he was shirtless and his upper body was everything that you could see. You opened your eyes widely.

“Why the fuck are you naked?!”

“What…? I’m not naked! I’m wearing my pajama’s bottoms!”, he looked utterly outraged with your accusation.

He pointed and his legs, still not visible to you. You had to crawl on the bed to see that in fact he was wearing blue shorts, which probably were the mentioned bottoms.

You had never seen him with such a lack of clothes before. You’d always seen him at work, never in a private matter, not even mentioning his clothes that he wore at home. Apparently for sleeping he preferred less than more.

You weren’t sure if he had ever mentioned working out, but he definitely did. His slim body looked amazing even in the dim light that the small lamp was giving.

Your cheeks became slightly red. You weren’t sure if he’d caught you staring, so you quickly changed the subject.

“What are you doing?”

“I forgot my glasses and I’ve taken out my lenses already.”

“You… you wear glasses?”

Namjoon finally found a small box in his drawer and took his glasses out of it. He put them on his nose and looked at you.

“Yes I do.”

He stood up and went to the part of his room where you had thrown Ryan. He turned to you, he knew you were looking.

“Were you sleeping with my Ryan plushie?”

“Of course not! Why would I do that?”

Namjoon chuckled.

“Good, then you won’t mind if I take it with me. Because I like to sleep with my Ryan plushie.”

He picked it up from the floor and took it with him to the living room. When closing the door, he was still smiling. For a moment you felt really stupid that you’d been ashamed about sleeping with a toy. Apparently Namjoon did not give a shit. That was something you had to admit you started to like about him. But you were too stubborn to go to him and ask for your Ryan back. So you reached out for another plushie and hugged it to make it easier to fall asleep.

In the morning, you were woken up by a loud noise coming out of the kitchen. You’d had a really nice and soft dream and were not happy about losing it. Namjoon was making it super hard though. Was he destroying his apartment or just making breakfast? You had to find out on your own.

You left his bedroom, completely forgetting you were just in just underwear, still half asleep. You found him dressed in sweatpants and a loose T-shirt, drinking his morning coffee.

“I was about to wake you up. Good morning.”, again, that gorgeous smile of his. His cheeks went slightly pink when he’d looked at you.

“I need a shower.”, you informed him.

He pointed at the door on your left. Without a further due you went there to make yourself a little decent. Warm water woke you up completely and you were ready to start the day. Or at least to eat something.

You weren’t happy about wearing the same clothes as on the previous day, but you had no other choice. When Namjoon saw you, he quickly jumped to his bedroom, since it’d already been empty and he brought something with him. It was pink. He handed that to you.

It was a pink T-shirt.

“It’s my ex-girlfriend’s. I bought it for her but she hated it. Probably that’s why she left it here.”

You unrolled the said clothing and were not happy about how it looked at all.

“I know it’s nothing fancy, but at least it’s clean.”

You sighed. Everything was going in a weird direction.

You went back to the bathroom and changed into that pink thing. It had a ridiculous overprint and every color was way too bright. And the T-shirt was too small.

You came out to show yourself and Namjoon snored into his palm. You looked like you’d borrowed your clothes from your much younger sister.

“I hate it too.”,

“She’s thinner tha… SHE’S SMALLER than you!”, Namjoon panicked.

You narrowed your eyes at him.

“How the hell did you even get a girlfriend with such smooth talking?”

Namjoon snorted at your comment, looking down for a second. He looked really cute, with his bed hair and dimples in his cheeks.

“Maybe it was not my smooth talking but that body of mine?”, when he said he looked back at you, biting his lower lip. You got startled as hell. “I saw you looking.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Is that so?”, he chuckled and sipped from his mug.

You were blushing like a teenage girl and really wanted to change the subject.

“Yeah, like you’ve never looked at my boobs.”

“I can do that.”

His eyes were on your boobs in no time, covered with that ridiculous T-shirt, which was way too tight for you.

“I don’t think that’s necessary.”

“OK, we will get back to that.”, his facial expression changed immediately. He looked pretty serious. “First, we need to do something else. We need to get you back to work.”

You definitely did not expect that.

“What? Why?”

“I know, I am asking myself the same question but you are… we are in this together. We’re doing a project together and you cannot leave us. I am not allowing it.”

“I had no idea I needed your permission.”

“Well, you do. So!”, he clapped his hands together, making you jump in place. “I’m gonna go to the manager and ask…”

“Namjoon, you don’t need to do that.”, suddenly you felt really overwhelmed. Why was he doing that for you?

“What? Of course I do. You can’t quit.”

“I’ve already given them my resignation.”

“So what? It’s just a paper. You can shred that.”

“Namjoon, I don’t think…”

“OK, you need to shut the fuck up. We’ve been working too hard on this. You’ve been working too hard on this, on our project.”, his voice went higher when he mentioned you.

“Why do you care so much if I’m working on this project or not?”

“Just so we’re clear. I’m not doing this for you. I’m doing this for the team.”

“... right.”

Namjoon looked so serious and fairly convinced about what he’d been saying. He seemed to be really down to help you, get you back to the office and work with him again.

You’d never seen him like that. This was such a new experience. And a view. Namjoon in his home clothes, worned out T-shirt with already washed out overprint looked so calm and cozy. You were still standing there, right in front of him in that ridiculous pink T-shirt and your underwear and it didn’t matter. You didn’t feel threatened, ashamed, well maybe a little, but warm and safe. You’d never felt this way before. With anyone.

You had to pinch yourself to come back to Earth. Namjoon was saying something to you and you’d completely ignored that. You asked him to repeat and finally moved your ass to sit at his small dining table.

“I’m saying I’m not much of a chef but I can make you something super basic.”

“That’s OK. I don’t like eating big breakfasts anyway.”

“That’s really stupid.”, he commented while going through his kitchen cabinets.

“Can I get at least a cup of tea or that’s stupid as well?”

“You don’t drink coffee?”, he was really surprised.

“No.”

“Now, that’s really stupid.”

You rolled your eyes but didn’t say anything.

You stayed at his place for breakfast. You didn’t talk much after he’d served you burned scrambled eggs and had brought you a mug with a green tea. He was getting ready for work and had left you alone in his kitchen and went to the bathroom. You ate your food, you were too hungry to leave it, even though it tasted weird. Namjoon brought you your pants and you left his apartment together. He waved at you before running for his train. You stood there, in front of his building, looking at him disappearing behind the trees. It was all so odd for you, you didn’t even realize up to that moment your wrist hadn’t been hurting for the whole night. You felt a sting on your skin when you’d lost Namjoon from your sight.

Fucking soulmate mark. All this because of it.

You shook your head and called for a cab. You wanted to get home as soon as possible.

The next day, when Namjoon came to his desk he noticed something was there, right before his keyboard. It was a shirt that he had given you the other day. Washed and nicely folded. He smiled to himself. You didn’t have to do that.

He didn’t care about that T-shirt. It reminded him of Soomi, who had left him. Who had tossed their life together in just one day, without a proper explanation. He’d missed her so much, he didn’t remember feeling anything else except the pain. He’d thought it would never go away and he would think about her until death finally freed him from the suffering.

But for the past almost two weeks he’d started to feel better, lighter. Like something was taking away his pain, his problems and making them smaller and less important each day. He had an idea what could be the cause. He also understood this would take some time, but for the first time, he knew all the changes in his life had purpose, they were going somewhere.

He smiled to himself. He took the shirt and looked at it. It was absolutely hideous. How on Earth could he have ever bought that? He shook his head on his past self and threw it away into the trash bin.

-------

He’d told her he loved her. He would never leave her and that he didn’t care about his mark. She’d seemed to be convinced, she’d believed him. They’d gone to sleep together, hugging like they always did. Namjoon had fallen asleep holding her in his arms, smelling her delicate scent and feeling her grabbing his stupid sleeping longsleeve shirt with her wrist on his back. He’d promised himself everything would get back to normal, since she'd already known everything.

The next day, when he’d come back home their apartment felt empty. It was more of an odd feeling, than an observation. At first, he didn’t realize what was the cause of that. He simply left his shoes next to the door and went straight to the bedroom. He put his bag on the bed and changed into his home sweatpants. He was tired and really just wanted to relax in his comfy home clothes in front of the TV. He looked at Soomi’s nightstand to check the time. She was always at home right after him. She was finishing her work at the same time, but her office was in the other part of the city. Getting back was taking a little longer for her.

Namjoon blinked. The clock was gone. So as everything on the nightstand. Had he missed something? Had Soomi redecorated and he hadn’t noticed anything or was he losing his mind? He blinked once again. The clock was still gone. It was super weird but he ignored that. Maybe she had done something in their bedroom.

He went to the bathroom and had to look twice, before his mind understood what he’d seen. Why was everything that belonged to Soomi gone? What the fuck was happening?

He stormed out and went back to their bedroom. He opened the closet. Her part was completely empty. All her clothes were gone. She’d left. She’d fucking left without a word. After everything that he’d said to her.

With shaking hands he took his phone and picked her number. He needed answers, immediately. The moment the ringing had started, he had a million questions on his mind. He had no idea how to start, what to say and which one to actually ask. The longer it was taking her to answer, the more he was starting to shake. He also felt tears gathering in his eyes. He started to be scared he would not be able to speak when the time would come. He cleared his throat, making sure he still had power over his voice.

When she’d answered for a moment nobody made any noise. He almost panicked and hung up. But he knew he would regret that. He had to speak up. Tears fell down his cheeks when he’d finally found the right question to ask.

“Why?”

His voice betrayed him. Nothing was able to prepare him for that kind of conversation. She had to know he’d been crying, it was way too obvious. He wasn’t able to control that in the end.

Soomi was silent for a moment, maybe trying to find the correct words.

“... Joon.”, her voice was very calm. It surprised him, he’d noticed that immediately. “You have a soulmate mark…”

“So what?!”, he screamed. He was holding his phone in his right hand, his wrist exploded in pain, he almost dropped the device. He ignored that. “I told you…”.

He’d told her so many things. He’d told her everything. What more was there to say?

“I love you.”

He heard her sighing loudly. Was she annoyed? Had he said too much? Had he said too little? Had he chosen the wrong words? Why was she so calm? Why was she so silent? SAY SOMETHING!

“I know you do.”, he held his breath. He had such a mess in his head. He was pretty damn sure there was a way for them. A way to sort everything out, without breaking up and having his heart torn into pieces.

Maybe he should have told her earlier about the mark. Maybe that was the problem? He’d kept a secret from her and she was feeling left out. But he was ready to fix that. He’d fucked up but he knew very well he wanted to fight.

Before he said something, Soomi spoke to him with a very quiet voice.

“And I think that’s the problem.”

He was not ready to hear something like that. Words he’d wanted to say got trapped in his throat, making him choked on air. What the fuck did that mean?

He wanted to scream, he wanted to cry out loud, he wanted to beg, he wanted to fight.

But she didn’t give him a chance to do any of that. Before he gathered himself and tried to say anything, she hung up. She did that without any additional word or without waiting for him. She didn’t care, she’d already made up her mind.

Namjoon snapped out of the first shock. He looked at his phone, the call had ended. She really just had done that.

He dialed up again, he couldn't give up. After a few rings she rejected the call. He tried again. She did that again, as well. So he tried again. And this time there was no ringing. He wasn’t able to get through to her. She blocked his number.

For a moment he was standing still, looking straight in front of him, not seeing anything. Everything was blurred, tears were dripping down his chin. His mind was trying to process what just had happened and what that actually meant. Had his girlfriend just broken up with him?

Sudden realization hit him hard. His hand with his phone dropped down, fingers let go of the device. Sound of the broken plastic didn’t make any impression on him. That was so not important. His heart was in a much worse shape and at that moment he wasn’t sure if fixing it was even possible. It hurt. It hurt so bad he choked on the air when trying to breathe. He started to cough, his throat was all dry.

He shook his head. He had to look twice around his bedroom. Suddenly he felt like he was in a completely foreign place for him. That was not his bedroom. His bedroom had Soomi’s stuff, his bedroom was not empty. He had to be lost.

Was it a panic or anxiety attack? Maybe both? The whole room was spinning, making him crazy and nauseated.

He grabbed his head with both of his hands, like he wanted to squeeze it and screamed. He screamed loud, not caring if any of his neighbors heard him.

He stormed out the bedroom, almost on his fours like he was running for his life. Or maybe he was. His life had crashed in just one moment and he was trying to run away from it. He was so mad, so desperate and sad. Why was this happening to him?

The worst part of the situation was helplessness. He wasn’t able to do anything. Nothing would change the fact he had a soulmate mark. Nothing would erase that.

That night he slept on the couch. And the next one. And the next one. He wasn’t able to even look at the bed which he’d shared with Soomi.

-------

You had no idea how he’d done that, but Namjoon had gotten your job back for you. You’d thought he would leave the subject, since you’d never asked him to help you in any way. It had been his idea from the beginning and you’d assumed he would drop it since you’d actually never taken it seriously.

But he had. Your boss had called you to inform you that you were welcome to come back to the office. And that you should not hesitate. You’d tried to ask Namjoon how the hell had he done that but he’d refused to explain. He’d said you should shut the fuck up and quickly get back to work so nobody would have to wait any longer.

So, you were back at the office. Since you’d taken sick days before you’d actually wanted to leave, you’d simply gotten back to your interrupted tasks. You’d taken your plant back from home and had put it on the desk, just to see Namjoon’s face. At first he had been surprised. But later, seeing how you’d been checking his reaction out, he had narrowed eyes on you, making sure you’d understood that that was not over and the plant would have to go eventually.

Namjoon’s approach to you had changed a little, though. Of course you were not best friends after you’d spent a night at his place and because of those god damned soulmate marks, but he’d cut down the fighting with you. The atmosphere was much less tense, almost friendly.

It had made you a little paranoid. You weren’t able to look at him the same as you had used to. You’d seen his softer, much private side and you had to admit, you liked it. Namjoon had taken care of your hand, had let you sleep in his bed and had cooked breakfast for you in the morning after. He hadn’t need to. He looked like a different person to you. You started to notice more details about his appearance, appreciate them. It was really weird and scary. And if you had such thoughts and observations, he had to have them as well.

So, you’d decided to cover yourself up. Since Namjoon had seen you in your underwear, you wanted to hide your body, every part of it to look completely neutral. You didn’t want any attention from him. You’d dug up all your hoodies, especially the big ones and had started to wear only them. You’d paired them with sweatpants, so any possible curves would disappear. You had to admit you felt really comfortable, which was just a small perk of the situation.

Namjoon was not stupid. He’d immediately noticed what you were doing and was pretty amused by that. You looked like you’d borrow your clothes yet again, but this time from an older brother. Or your boyfriend. He had no idea if you were dating someone, but for a moment a thought of you wearing his clothes attacked his mind. This had made all your efforts of covering yourself to go to hell. He felt his cheeks getting warm, something he had not been expecting. He quickly looked around and put his hood on to hide from anyone watching. Why was he feeling like a teenager again? He was a grown up man, he could handle everything that had been happening. His soulmate mark had stopped bothering him, though he was pretty sure it was still an issue for you.

He heard you getting up from your desk. He took off his hood and looked at you with a corner of his eye. That day you’d worn an oversized blue hoodie. Your palms were barely sticking out of the sleeves. You could hide everything beneath that. The thing was, he knew exactly what you were hiding.

“If you want to repel me you should be yourself again.’, he teased you, when you were passing by his desk. “ Now, that’s a real boner killer.”

He chuckled after his excellent joke, especially when you didn’t say anything and just sped up and went to the kitchen like your ass was on fire. He wasn’t sure if his comment had affected you that much or you just had run away from him. But he knew very well you were not repulsive to him anymore. That was pretty weird and scary.

Another weird thing was that your wrist had started to hurt. When Namjoon had taken care of your wounds, you’d felt so much better. It hadn’t bother you the whole night and morning. You’d thought that that had been over. But when you’d been alone at your apartment, doing your normal stuff, your wrist had struck a strong pain. The itch had been gone. Now it all had started to hurt. You’d unraveled your fresh bandage and to your dismay you’d discovered your soulmate mark looked different. You had no idea something like that could actually happen. Your wounds had been slowly healing but your mark had become less visible, like it had been fading. You hadn’t told Namjoon anything about that. He seemed to be fine, so it must have been just you. You had no clue what that had meant and if it was going to be worse. You’d wrapped your wrist yet again and prayed for the best.

Namjoon didn’t mention anything and you kinda had gotten used to the situation you were in. You all had gotten to your routines, the only difference was that you didn’t feel an enormous urge to strangle him with your HDMI cable, taken from your computer screen.

You even had thought of asking him for help.

You’d been living in a city for a few weeks. It had been difficult for you to make yourself at home. You were alone and had to do everything on your own. Your all friends had stayed in your hometown and you’d realized the closest person to you was Namjoon. Scared and defeated you’d asked him to help you with your furniture. You’d ordered bookshelves, a coffee table and a nightstand but it all had to be assembled and hiring anyone to do that was too expensive for your taste. So, one day after work he’d come to your apartment, knowing your address already and immediately had started to open all the boxes. You hadn’t been sure about the whole idea and had been assuming he would say ‘No’ to your request. But he had agreed and had even brought his own tools. He really had surprised you and in a good way.

To be completely honest, one of the reasons for you to have someone to help you was your fucking wrist. You couldn’t believe that shit had been bothering you for such a long time. The pain hadn’t gone away, you had been still bandaging it, but it hadn’t been helping much. Instead of scratches and blood, there were bruises and paper thin skin. Your mark was looking worse and worse, taking you down with itself.

You wanted to help Namjoon and took the smallest box. It wasn’t heavy so you’d assumed you would manage to actually pick it up. Unfortunately, your wrist had thought otherwise. The pain that had been pulsating the whole day exploded in you and made you drop the box to the floor. You whined and clenched your jaw, trying to mark the incident. But Namjoon had heard everything and looked at you, while you were bending down from the pain.

“What the… not this again.”

A little annoyed, he stood up from the floor where he prepared all the pieces of the furniture he wanted to assemble and came up to you. You waved at him with your good hand to stay in his place but he was having none of it. He reached to you and you were pretty damn sure he would grab your wrist, just not sure which one. Instead of that, he took your hand in his and led you to the room, where there was more light. He then sat on the floor, where there were no furniture’s parts and waited for you to do the same.

“Take it off.”

His voice was calm, though on the inside he was close to bursting out. You hadn’t told him anything about the pain. He’d assumed everything had been better since your, well, a night together. He was still blushing thinking about that.

You huffed and turned your head away. You knew that if you looked into his eyes, you would break and do as he asked. And you didn’t like that power he had over you.

He was still holding your hand, his fingers were wrapped around your palm. He brushed your knuckles trying to get back your attention.

“...Y/N.”

“I don't’ wanna.”

He chuckled at how childish you’d sounded. You took a quick glance at him and you had to even quicker avert your sight. His adorable smile had been having you under its charm almost from the beginning and it was getting worse.

“OK, then I will do it.”

He waited a moment for you to say anything. He wasn’t certain if you didn’t mind. But after looking at you he made up his mind and decided to do as he’d said.

He let go of your hand and reached out to your wrapped wrist. He was trying to be careful although it was not that his touch was hurting you, it was your soulmate mark itself. But he didn’t know that. So he was very gentle, having your well being on his mind all the time.

When he finally freed your wrist he was in shock. He did not expect that.

Your wounds were almost healed. Some of them seemed to be more fresh than the others. You probably hadn’t stopped scratching your skin immediately. You were still white as a piece of chalk but that was not the worst. Your soulmate mark. Your soulmate mark looked… broken. It was disfigured, not the same as his anymore. It reminded him of an ink that spilled on a paper. Your mark had loosen its shape, spilling outside its outlines, losing its color.

It frightened him. He had no idea something like that could happen. He also didn’t know what that could mean.

He looked at you. You’d turned your head to him already and was looking at your mark as well.

“Y/N, how long does it look like that?”

“I-I’m not sure. It was better a few days ago…”

“Does it hurt?”, he trailed his thumb near your mark.

“Y-yes.”, his touch was soothing, like the last time.

Even his presence was helping. You knew, deep down in your mind, it was because he was your soulmate, he was carrying the same mark as you. You were just trying not to think about that too much. Or at all. Actually, you’d been repressing that every single day. You’d never accepted the fact that you had a soulmate.

Namjoon was observing you very closely. Your mind was going place, he could easily tell. He vividly remembered how you’d been suffering with your hand scratched all over. You were still pale on your face. It’d been like that almost from the beginning, since the day you’d met. He wasn’t sure if he had ever seen you looking differently. It was hard for him to tell if you actually looked better, same or worse. But since your wrist had been hurting you it must have been bad.

He rolled up his sleeve and looked at his mark. It was completely fine, same as always.

“I did some research online.”, you said, after a while when nobody had been saying anything. “I didn’t understand everything but apparently ignoring your mark can lead to… some repercussions.”

“Such as?”

“People were mentioning a lot of side effects.”

“Side effects? It’s not a disease!”

“But sometimes it feels like it. It itches, it gives you rash, it hurts…”

“Mine didn’t…”

He wanted to say his mark had never hurt, it had never cost him troubles. But he remembered then. His mark had hurt a lot a while ago. He had been repressing it, pretending it had not existed, hiding it. He’d had to accept it, accept the fact it was there and everything that was connected to it. It all had stopped when Soomi had left him.

“But you can ignore it! Sure, it hurts, it can look weird… One man lost his hand… BUT! It was in an accident! With a chainsaw. At home.”

Namjoon snorted at your comment.

“You’d rather lose your hand than accept the mark and be my soulmate!”

His words surprised you, they surprised him! You both looked at each other with eyes wide open. He really had just called you his soulmate. You blushed and looked away. He was still holding you by your wrist.

“Is the idea of being my soulmate so repulsive to you?”

You sighed. You didn’t want to talk about that with him. With anyone, to be completely honest. You’d never properly processed the fact you had a soulmate. You’d never said what you were thinking about the whole soulmate mark thing. You were feeling embarrassed he’d actually thought that. It was not him. He was not the problem. Even though you hadn’t been close before all of that had exploded and had made you his soulmates, he was still not a problem.

“You need to let it go.”, his words were something you’d been afraid of. “You’re hurting. You’re hurting yourself.”

And of course he was right. Since your wrist had been killing you, you always were furious about having the mark. You’d been blaming it for everything, fighting with it from the beginning. But the pain was starting to be too much. Your disfigured mark was also fighting with you and you were losing.

You sat more comfortably, turning your whole body towards Namjoon. You had no idea what to do, how it actually worked but none of you did. You just relaxed, took a deep breath and opened that door in your head, the one that was holding an idea of having a soulmate.

Your mark reacted to it almost immediately. You both saw, with your own eyes, how it got back to its shape. It was moving on your skin, sucking all the spilled ink back to its place and regaining its proper color. If someone did tell you about this you would never believe.

Your pain disappeared. Your whole hand got its natural color back, it was no longer the hand of a zombie. Your wounds and old scratches were not healed but your face looked more healthy. You were feeling much, much better.

Namjoon was watching everything closely, noticing every little detail and change. He turned his wrist up, held it right next to yours. It triggered even more changes. Your both marks started to change. They were growing, swirling on your forearms with the same speed. Same lines were moving at the same time, adding more details in the pattern. Some were solid colors, the edges were blending into gradients. When it all stopped you both realized you’d been holding your breaths.

Namjoon sat back and leaned on his hands. He wasn’t feeling different, though he was really calm. Looking at you, seating with you in the same room felt like the right thing to do in his life. He saw your rose cheeks, big eyes and shiny hair. You were beautiful.

You were still scared but you had to admit all the pain from your wrist had gone away. You’d never felt better since your mark had shown up. Your hand was still bruised but it felt much lighter. You took another deep breath.

“Look.”, Namjoon broke the silence. “We don’t need to date or anything if you don’t want to but please don’t hurt yourself anymore.”

“Why do you care?”

“Well, you’re my soulmate.”

Him saying that, saying that with such a calm but confident voice gave you goosebumps.

“I can’t look at you while you’re hurting.”, he said that before he’d even thought about that. When he heard his words, he was surprised how true they were.

“Why are you so nice to me?”

“Because I am a nice person! Now, since we’ve established that, we can finally make you some furniture!”

-------

Moments of Love and Trust

change the mark

make it bigger and stronger to last

-------

“Ask me on a date.”

You were standing right next to his desk. He was working on something, eyes glued to his computer screen. When he heard you he looked at you and raised his eyebrows in confusion.

“Wha…”

“Ask me on a date.”, you repeated.

“OK…”

“You’re supposed to be my soulmate. We can at least try to go on a date once.”

“That is so romantic, say more things like that.”

“Will you?”, you were getting annoyed by his words.

“Will I what?”

“Ask me!”

“I don’t know. You’re so demanding.”

“Namjoon!”

He chuckled. Getting you pissed like that had always put him in a good mood. Even then, when your arch enemies life had been officially over.

He pushed himself on a chair away from his desk. He looked at you from his position, carefully calculating his words.

“Fine. Will you go on a date with me?”

Even though it’d been your idea and you were the one that had come to him first, it made your heart skip a bit when you’d heard his words. Why was he already making you nervous?

“OK.”

“Just OK?”, he chuckled again. “No enthusiasm about it?”

“I will go out with you, that should be enough.”

“Ugh, stop it. You’re making me fall in love with you already.”

Your cheeks went all vivid red and you had to run away from him to keep at least part of your dignity. Since you'd discovered who your soulmate was, he was waking up hot flashes in you way too often. The fact that it had been actually happening was a puzzle for you. Before, he was completely neutral. But after everything that had happened and finally accepting your mark, your emotions were going crazy.

The whole idea of a date was something completely new for you. Before, a concept of something preposterous like that had been absolutely unacceptable. It had been enough if you both were seeing each other at work. But accepting your mark, allowing yourself to make it a part of you and with Namjoon being right next to you, had switched your mind, without you even noticing. He’d mentioned you didn’t have to date. He hadn’t asked you out, had not brought that up by himself. Or maybe him saying it could be out of the question if you didn’t want that had been a way to actually start the subject? As complicated as it had been, it worked.

You were halfway to your desk when Namjoon shouted after you.

“But make it a real date!”, he stood up from his chair.

You stopped and turned around to look at him.

“Wha-How? Are there fake dates I don’t know about?”

“Ugh, no. I mean, with an effort, all dressed up. We go to the restaurant and all that stuff.”

“All that stuff sounds great!”

He frowned at your comment and wanted to say something but you waved at him, showing you knew what he’d meant. So, you agreed for the REAL date and in that exact moment it hit you, what that actually had meant. You’d just asked, or technically Namjoon had asked you on a date. ON A DATE. Something you would never have thought just had happened. And it was your idea!

Since it’d been Namjoon’s idea to make it “a real date”, you let him choose the restaurant and the date of your date. Later on, he sent you details about his idea and an exact time. He’d also decided you would meet at the place he’d chosen.

You were fine with that. Earlier, you just had thought of going out with him. You had not been thinking about any details. The whole concept of a date was enough for you and you were actually happy and relieved Namjoon had taken care of everything else.

Friday evening you almost ran out of the office and went straight to your apartment to get ready. Namjoon was nowhere to be found at that time, maybe he’d gone before you. You didn’t think much about that because you actually had stuff to do. You quickly got back to your desk to shut down your PC and with a corner of your eye you saw a note. Someone pasted a paper to your computer screen with a handwritten message: “See you later ♡”. A heat wave attacked your body with the realization who had done that.

The last few days you’d been planning everything in your head. What would you wear, what kind of makeup to put on. You’d really taken Namjoon’s words about ‘real date’ into your heart. And you’d also started to care about the whole thing. Sure it was with someone, who a few weeks ago had been your biggest enemy and you’d wanted to close him into a conference room with glass walls and fill the whole thing with water to see how he would drown. But that was in the past. You had to admit, especially in front of yourself, you didn’t have those thoughts anymore. Namjoon had become a different person to you and you liked him. So, you actually wanted that date to go well.

You took the note and hid it in your bag, shut down everything and left the office with a red blush all over your face. And a big smile.

You wore your favorite dress. It was the one that was exposing the best of you and covering things you’d rather hide, to feel more comfortable. You loved wearing it but at the same time you’d been trying no to wear it too often, to make it more special. But this date was special and important. You matched shoes and make up to finish the outfit. You felt pretty confident about the final outcome.

The whole time you were preparing yourself for the night, your mind was going back to Namjoon. It had been a long ride for both of you. Long, hard and full of bad emotions. You hadn’t been nice to him. Probably from the beginning. You’d hated him so much. And yet, after everything that you had done or said to him, he still was able to put that all behind and be nice to you. To help you. And to go out with you. Things had changed so much, you were feeling like that was a completely new life. A chance you didn’t want to lose. You left your apartment promising yourself that you would not fuck the date up.

But you were not free from overthinking. When you got to the restaurant you were pretty stressed out. Weird ideas were storming into your mind. What if Namjoon didn’t like the way you looked? What if Namjoon changed his mind and hadn’t even come? What if he’d agreed only to just stood you up? It didn’t make any sense, he was better than that. He wouldn’t do that, even to you. The more you were thinking about that the more you wanted to turn back.

But the moment you stepped over the doorstep all your worries were gone. You took a deep breath and looked around the tables to find the correct one.

You saw Namjoon sitting at the table in the middle of the restaurant. A book was lying in front of him on the table. He was trying to read but he seemed to be too distracted. He was nervously playing with a bookmark, changing pages that he definitely had not read. He leaned his head on one of his palms, took a deep breath and looked around. A waitress was passing by with someone else’s order, a couple next to him was talking pretty loud, someone dropped a fork on the floor. He was trying to get occupied, to stop his mind wandering and everything was distracting him.

When he saw you, you were still standing on the doorstep. Frozen in place for no good reason. You smiled at him, feeling stupid that you had doubted him.

His elbow slipped from the table and dropped, making him lose his balance and almost hitting the table with his jaw. A look of complete confusion crossed his face but he quickly gathered himself, pretending that it had never happened. He stood up, almost falling over his chair, when he saw you coming to him.

He was wearing all black. Black shirt, black jacket and black straight pants. He looked so good, so elegant. It really suited him. You had never seen him like that before. Your job did not require any dress code, so his regular outfit included a hoodie, wide pants or overalls that made him look like a giant kid. You just got used to casual Namjoon.

You sat in front of him and he followed. His eyes were glued to you. You could swear he was not blinking.

“You look so beautiful.”, he said, looking straight into your eyes.

You felt a blush coming onto your cheeks and you shyly smiled. You really liked how he complimented you.

“Hi…”

“Hi-I mean it!”, he got scared you hadn’t taken his words seriously. Maybe because he had never said anything like that to you.

“You look very handsome, too.”, your voice was slightly shaking. This was all so new to you.

You both were sitting at your table and looking at each other like you’d never seen yourselves before. You were feeling like you’d been acting out of your characters. Both stressed and telling yourself nice things and compliments for the first time, yet liking it and wanting more. He seemed to be completely under your spell and you were hoping he hadn’t noticed you holding your breath the whole time. The date hadn’t officially even started yet and you were already losing your mind.

Namjoon had to pinch himself to get back on Earth. He’d thought he was ready but seeing you all dressed up and smiling had taken him off guard. He’d been really waiting for your date, calculating everything in a big brain of his. But you had to show up and look prettier than ever. He could look at you the whole evening and do nothing more.

He blinked once or twice, he actually wanted to spend all the time he had that evening with you. He noticed you were getting more and more stiff and flustered. Were you about to panic? Was it possible that you were more nervous than him? He didn’t want you to run away. He’d realized he had to lead your conversation, at least at the beginning.

He smiled at you. His dimpled smile definitely had become your weakness.

“You know what? Let’s start simple. I can see we’re both nervous like a couple of teenagers…”

Namjoon started to talk, breaking the ice and encouraging you to join him. You really liked that. You wanted that. You were mad at yourself that you'd gotten that nervous around him. Your date was not supposed to be like that. You exhaled loudly, trying to suppress your nervous laughter at the same time. It had sounded like you were choking. Namjoon stopped his monologue and snickered at your reaction. You immediately wanted to crawl under the table and die. Your ears went all red. It did not help you in being less stressed out.

“I had no idea I had that kind of effect on you. We should have started dating much earlier.”

You covered your whole face into your palms. You knew he was trying to help, to ease the tension, maybe to even crack you up. You damn sure needed that. If you were going to act like that the whole evening, your date would certainly be ruined.

When you felt more confident and sure you were not going to make any more unwanted noise you lowered your hands and looked at Namjoon.

“Maybe. But I don’t think any of us would survive that.”

“What do you mean? I was always this cute!”, he stuck his finger into one of his dimples.

“Probably. But I don’t think I would have appreciated that back then.”

Namjoon looked at you closely after hearing your words. You’d mentioned something that got him thinking.

“OK, you know what? I think I know what’s the problem here. We’re both super nervous because we keep thinking about the past. About how we hated each other's guts, how we used to treat each other. Let’s stop it right here. It doesn’t matter anymore.”

“It doesn’t?”

“No. It’s all in the past. We are both here because we wanted to. And that’s all that matters.”

“But I’ve been…”

“No, Y/N, please stop.”, he reached out to you through the table, taking your hands into his. “Don’t think about this anymore. What’s done is done. We can only move forward.”

You exhaled your breath, not knowing you’d been holding it again. Namjoon was holding your hands until he made sure you’d stopped tormenting yourself with your past quarrels. He surely had dropped that already.

“I hate when you do that.”, you said.

“Do what?”

“When you’re so calm and… right.”

“Well then, you better get used to that.”

“And now you’re annoying again…”

“To that you’ve been used to already.”

“How come I’ve seen you being this smart ass… but not this funny?”

“You’ve been too busy screaming at me.”

“OK, hold on. I clearly remember you storming into my apartment and making a lot of weird noises!”, Namjoon chuckled at hearing your words. “It’s not like I’ve been the only loud one here!”, you paused for a moment. Maybe you were nervous but getting back to talking with him like that was helping. Your confidence was slowly crawling back to the surface. “You hated me.”

Saying that, when you were sitting together at the table and joking around, hurt you. You’d never cared what Namjoon was thinking about. His opinion about you had meant nothing to you. But after everything you’d been through his position in your life had dramatically changed. Realizing he could actually hate you struck you. You didn’t want that.

“Maybe I hated you but I was not blind. I always thought you were pretty.”

Namjoon’s smile was so genuine and sincere. You didn’t have to ask if he really had meant that. You knew he had. Warm and nice feeling spread across your chest. It made you feel so much better when he’d said “hated”. It was already in the past.

“So, you thought about dating me before?”

“Let’s not be too hasty, shall we?”

Joking around like that helped you both to relax. It was much better known territory for you. Not the same as it had been before, still something more comfortable.

Namjoon turned out to be charming and a very smart guy. He’d surprised you before when you’d visited his apartment. But talking with him only upholded the impression you’d been having since then: You’d been wrong about him. You’d hated him for so long you’d completely missed all his good qualities. You hadn't even been looking for them. He was making you laugh and also feel comfortable. You didn’t have to pretend anything. You got back to being yourself, so was he. You both were teasing each other, the difference was your intentions.

You ordered your food and drinks and kept talking. Namjoon was asking you a lot of questions about you. You’d known each other for some time but actually didn’t know things about yourselves. He was genuinely curious and listened to everything you had to say. And he was looking at you with those big, brown eyes full of affection. When had he grown all those feelings towards you?

You didn’t mind any of that. You were too invested in the night, having so much fun and finally feeling happy. You didn’t want your date to be over. When you finished eating you really hoped he’d planned something more for you.

“I hope you didn’t eat too much and still can move.”

“Why? What do you have in mind?”

“I still want to take you to an art exhibition.”

“What kind of exhibition is open at this hour?”

“Nothing pornography-like, I can assure you.”

“Hm, you lost my attention then.”

“Shame. But I still want to take you there.”

And you gladly agreed. Namjoon took you to a photo exhibition. It was hosted in a small, private gallery. You were still in the center of the city, but before you found the entrance you’d had to roam through small alleys, which you had no idea even existed. Good that he actually had known where you were going, otherwise you would never find it. He stopped in front of a small, black door and rang a bell. A short woman opened it and let you both in.

You went down long and steep stairs. You ended up in an enormous, windowless room or maybe actually a basement. It all looked raw and concrete, no wooden floors, nor painted walls. Lights were out, at least the regular ones. Because the whole room seemed to be on fire.

Photos were hanging on the walls and also straight from the sealing. They were creating a simple maze, where people could walk around and observe them. Each of them had their own source of lighting. But not a lamp in front of it, just to make it visible. Lights were part of the photographs. They were installed on each and every one of them, as a part of composition.

When you got closer you realized they were not in a random order. If you walked through the path that they’d all created, they would take you for a journey to places the author had gone to. They’d all been named after places they’d been taken in, showing the path of photographer’s life. There were no descriptions nor comments. Everyone could interpret them on their own.

You stood in front of one of the photos. It was a big one, with a field during the night and a starry sky. All visible stars were covered with small lights stuck to the canvas. They were all lightened up as the only source of lighting. It all looked beautiful and you couldn’t take your eyes off of it.

Namjoon stood next to you. At first he looked at the photo but then he looked at you. Your face was brightened up with the lights, your eyes were shining. He swallowed hard. You were taking his breath away and it was not helping with his confidence.

He cleared his throat and leaned closer to you, so he could talk to you with a much more quiet voice and still be heard.

“Do you like this one?”

“It’s beautiful.”, you whispered.

You really did enjoy that photograph. It was simple yet it had this effect on you. You could imagine laying in that field, looking at those stars and forgetting about all your worries. You sighed.

You looked at the title and got startled. It said “Napa Valley”.

“Namjoon?”

“Yes?”

“Why am I looking at Windows XP wallpaper?”

Namjoon chuckled quietly and moved even closer to you. His lips almost brushed over your ear.

“I read that the author was very shy and spent most of his teenage years in front of the computer screen. He went there to immortalize that special place, but in his own way…”

He was still talking when you slightly turned your face in his direction. He wasn’t looking at the photograph. He didn’t have to. And didn’t want to. He was looking straight into your eyes. You swallowed hard seeing them piercing you on the spot.

“He took this photo during the night, a moment when he had the most free time… and could quietly sit in his room…”

His already quiet voice was getting even less hearable. You were standing close enough to catch his words but you were sure people around were not. He was talking about the photograph but at the same time eating you alive with his eyes, every part of your body. You felt goose bumps on your skin, your heart rate rose. Namjoon was waking up feelings inside you that you had forgotten about.

He was still whispering something when he leaned to you. His hot breath was on your skin when he was finishing a sentence. You had no fucking clue what he’d said. You felt like your head was under the water, every sound was muffled. You knew what he was trying to do. Your heart was beating like crazy. His lips were right there, getting closer each second.

You turned your head back to the photograph. You held your breath, shivering. His lips crushed into your cheek. You felt how he kissed you and a whole hot wave of arousal went through your body. You closed your eyes like he would have kissed you on the lips, like he’d wanted to.

He was surprised he didn’t feel your lips on his. His eyes went slightly open but when he realized you basically turned away he didn’t retract. He kissed your soft skin like that had been his plan all along. It was still the first time he’d actually tried that. He stayed like that for a moment, breathing your scent, feeling you close to him. His mind was dizzy with excitement.

While moving away from you he still felt like there was a cloud in front of his eyes. Feeling dazed and steamy he cleared his throat. He was still looking at you, at your pink cheeks and a wet spot on one of them that he’d left there. He brushed it with his thumb and smiled at you.

“Are you ready to leave?”

You needed to clear your head and to breathe some fresh air. More people were coming to the gallery, it was getting less and less private, less space, less opportunities to be alone.

You took him to the park. Namjoon had planned and organized your whole date. You could at least decide about your walk direction.

Namjoon was still talking about the exhibition. He was still very excited you’d gone there with him and was curious about your opinion. But he couldn’t shut up so he was basically bubbling about his thoughts about it or interesting facts about the author he’d read before. You let him do that. You were amazed how passionate he was about art. So you just listened.

You both cooled down after the almost-kissing moment. You both needed that.

“If you really liked his photographs, I have his photo album. I’ve been following his career for quite some time…”

You had to stop in place after hearing his words. Namjoon took a few steps more and turned around surprised.

“Really? You’re asking me to come to your place to show me a photo album? That’s so lame!”

“Oh come on!”, he quickly started to laugh. “I really mean that! This is not a trick!”

The weird thing was that you actually believed him. You were damn sure he really had meant that and the said album was waiting for you to see. You smiled at Namjoon and agreed. You were feeling safe with him.

He called a cab and you ended up at his apartment. Yet again. It was such a weird feeling going there with him again. Last time you’d ended up sleeping in his bed. Alone. Would you stay there for the night once more, having him by your side? You wouldn’t need anything to sleep in for sure. You didn’t want Namjoon to see your fully red face, after creating that scenario in your head, so you quickly started to think about his plants taking control over his home library. That was much safer.

He opened the door for you and let you in. He took his jacket off. Wearing just his black shirt he looked really slim. It was not like you’d never seen him shirtless. Because you actually had. You knew how well built he was, his fit body was not a secret to you. But you enjoyed how the thin material complimented his upper body.

“Do you want something to drink?”, he asked while going to the kitchen.

“I’m good.”

You both sat on his couch, he’d brought a few photo albums and had put them on the coffee table. He really had an impressive collection. He was so passionate about them, his eyes were bigger than ever when he started to talk again, for a moment he wasn’t even looking at you. But you took one book from his hands, put it on your knees and started to go through the pages. Namjoon gladly joined you.

He leaned his hand on the couch, right behind you. He was paying attention to every photograph you looked at, trying to comment or point something important out. Everything was interesting to him and he really wanted to share that with you. At some point you felt how he rested his chin on your shoulder, still focusing on the album. It gave you a few strong heart beats and pink cheeks which you had no way to hide from him. Had he noticed? Probably not. He was smiling to himself when you turned the next page. You looked at him and chuckled. He was so close to you, you were so close to each other. If you had at least half of his courage you could kiss him.

You put the photo album on the coffee table in front of you. You stood up from the couch, Namjoon had to move away and you slowly moved to the wall completely covered with shelves with books on them. They were everywhere, every kind. Lots of novels, more photo albums, art books and dictionaries of many languages, that you were certain Namjoon did not speak in.

He stood behind you, you were easily feeling his presence. He was looking at the bookshelf with you, even though he knew it very well. You sighed and leaned to him, pressing your back to his chest. He did not oppose or move. You slightly put your head on his shoulder, you could swear you heard him smiling.

“Namjoon. Which one is your favorite?”

He quietly chuckled. You felt him moving and then his left arm wrapped around your arms, his fingers touching your collarbone on the other side. His shirt’s sleeves were rolled up, you felt his warm skin on yours. He leaned closer to you, his lips were next to your ear.

“Only one? That’s impossible.”

“Have you read them all?”

“Not yet…”

“But you keep buying new ones, don’t you?”, you looked at a small pile on the floor.

“Well, they’re not going anywhere. They will wait for me when I have time.”

You looked up at him. At first he was still looking at the bookshelf. He was such a bookworm, he was probably already thinking about having free time and picking the next book to read. His eyes were wandering on the shelves, reminding him all those titles they were yet to be discovered. He smiled to himself. His dimples that you liked so much popped up.

He must have felt your eyes on him because he looked down. The dim light did not cover how blown up his pupils were. His eyes seemed all black, directed right on you.

You shifted in his embrace, took a deep breath. He took away his arm and slightly moved from behind you. He never broke eye contact. You felt his fingertips brushing your cheek. He slowly leaned to you and kissed you. It was a gentle kiss that gave both of you goosebumps. You could swear it felt like electricity went through your body when your lips met. You both gasped, got scared a little and moved away.

“Holy shit…”, he whispered, while looking at your lips and then into your eyes.

You were thinking exactly the same. You’d never experienced something like that before. You started to breathe faster and all you could think about was him kissing you again.

And he did. But this time it was different. He crushed his lips into yours like he had never kissed anyone before. His hand traveled from your cheek to your shoulder, through your arm and landed on your ass. He grabbed it through your dress and pulled you closer to him, your bodies crushed into each other. You felt him on you.

You moaned into his mouth, grabbing his shirt into fist. You were gasping for air, for some sanity.

Namjoon panicked and stopped everything he was doing.

“Y/N, I’m so sorry, I got carried away.”

His hands dropped from your body in a second. He took a step back and hid his face in his palms. You were breathing hard, trying to gather your thoughts.

“I think we should…”

“Yeah, we should.”

You both had no idea what you actually should or should not. Calm yourself? Kiss again? Fuck on the couch like there was no tomorrow? Your lips still had his taste on them. He dropped his hands and looked at you with hooded eyes. You weren’t able to look away. His cheeks were slightly pink, lips parted. He looked so sexy you had to use all your willpower not to jump on him right there and then.

You touched your lips, remembering very vividly how he was kissing them. His eyes followed your hand, he was thinking exactly the same thing.

“Can I get a glass of water?”, you asked, swallowing hard.

“Of course.”

Namjoon without hesitation went to the kitchen. You followed him, keeping a small distance between you two. He grabbed a mug and poured you some cold water. You took and drank it probably too quickly. You needed a moment, a distraction, something to lower the heat that was perceptible in the room.

He was watching you the whole time. He didn’t mean to be creepy but he couldn’t take his eyes off of you. His lips were still tingling after your kiss. He had never experienced something like that before. He wasn't sure if he liked it or not. He wasn’t able to compare that to any kiss he’d had before or to anything else for that matter. To be fair, he had never done that with his soulmate before. Was it supposed to be like that?

He took a step closer to you. You were halfway done with your water. He wanted to kiss you again, so bad, try if it was going to be the same. He’d lost control moments ago but he was certain he would be fine this time. He had to. Because if he didn’t, if he didn’t kiss you, he would explode and kill everyone in the range.

When you were done with your water Namjoon was already standing in front of you. You were observing him from the beginning, counting how long it would take him to finally reach you. Your thoughts were running exclusively around his lips. How they’d tasted, how they’d been moving on yours. You put the mug on the counter, eye contact never broken. This time you both leaned into the kiss the same time. You reached out and grabbed his shirt to pull him closer, he cupped your face so you wouldn’t escape him. The electricity was back, you felt it and this time you were prepared for that. None of you retracted, he was kissing you hungrily, having his hands on you the whole time.

You were really trying to focus on him, right there, in his kitchen. But your mind was screaming at you: YOU WERE KISSING NAMJOON. The same Namjoon that you’d been… You had to mentally bite your tongue. You’d already discussed that. He’d told you to forget, don’t bother about the past. It didn’t matter.

You were kissing Namjoon. And you were enjoying it so much.

He pressed his weight onto you, a moan left his mouth when he felt your body right on his. Your breasts pressed to his chest. He was holding you so close, his hands cupping your cheeks, sliding down your neck, his touch was warm and so much welcome. It didn’t matter where he was touching you, everything was making you more and more excited.

“I wanted to do this so much…”, he breathed out in between kisses. “I was thinking about this the whole evening.”

He was definitely not lying. You still remember how he’d tried to kiss you at the exhibition. You’d been stupid enough to turn away. His lips matched yours too well.

You let go of his shirt, it was much wrinkled because of how strong your grip had been. Your hands wandered through his chest to his back. His body felt so firm, whatever exercising plan he was doing definitely had paid off. You smoothly slid your palms lower, tried to feel every centimeter of him, until you reached his ass. You squeezed his butt cheeks, pulling him even closer to yourself. You felt his firm body on yours. He smiled into a kiss, his lips were still on yours.

“And I wanted to do that.”

He laughed at your words but who was he to deny what you wanted? He would give you everything that you asked for. You looked so beautiful. More beautiful than he could have ever imagined. He’d been thinking about kissing you from the moment he’d seen you walking though the restaurant door. He wasn’t able to drop his hands off of you, he wanted you so much.

He broke the kiss and looked at you with hooded eyes. They seemed to be all black, his irises were gone. He slowly moved to your neck, leaving soft pecks on your skin.

His hands moved from to your shoulders, slid lower through your back and just as you a moments before had founded his, they landed on your ass. He squeezed your flesh, feeling you under your dress. You hitched your breath, his touch was firm but still soft. His fingertips were brushing your upper thigh, trying to catch the hem of your dress. You felt how they touched your skin, slid under the material and grabbed your butt cheek again.

He started to play with your lace panties, slipping his finger underneath them, just a little, just a tip and brushing through the curve of your ass. You got goosebumps, a shiver went through your body. Namjoon felt that and hugged you tighter, you pressed your face to his shoulder.

“Namjoon…”, you moaned.

“Please, call me Joon…”, he whispered right into your ear.

You didn’t say anything, you only grabbed his shirt with your fist. You were feeling hot, his touch was already making you aroused and wet.

His fingers played with your panties a little more, moving from one side to another. Your skin was soft under his touch. Withdrawing his fingers, he moved them up and then to your front, slowing down when reaching your folds. He barely brushed them, picking the hem up. He was teasing you, not touching you directly, playing with your underwear just millimeters away from your pussy. You squirmed in his arms, trying to feel him, but he only chuckled at your actions.

Joon stopped what he was doing, snapped your underwear on you and took his hand from under your clothes. Before you said anything, he found the hem of your dress again, this time at the front and lifted it up. He slid his hand down your belly, passing the elastic band of your panties. He quickly went all the way down, brushing his fingers through your slit. He slid the middle one into your entrance, gently, testing the waters. He took a sharp breath, his other hand tightened its grip on you.

“Oh fuck, you’re so wet…”

The whole idea of you being in that state just because of him and just for him was driving him crazy. The effect he had on you was stronger than he could ever imagine. He smiled to himself, getting real pleasure from knowing how easily he could get you so riled up. He was loving the situation.

He took his finger out of you and dragged it along your already wet slit again. You murmur at the feeling. He was teasing you again and you weren’t sure if you loved it or hated it. You liked the way he was touching you, though. You wanted him to touch you more.

He pushed his fingers past your folds and found your clit. He gently touched it, checking your reaction. You were still hiding your face in his shirt, face hot, hidden from his eyes. So used his pointing and middle finger to circle your sensitive nub.

You moaned harder, grasping his shirt. You moved your face from his shoulder and looked up at him. Your pupils were fully blown with a desire. Your eyes hooded, firmly piercing him down. You bit your lower lip when his touch made a wave of pleasure shoot through your body again. Joon couldn’t believe his eyes. You were looking absolutely beautiful, every part of you. His cock twitched at the sight, he gulped, feeling his throat going dry. The show you were giving him was something he would never forget.

You opened your mouth, you wanted to kiss him but you didn’t move up to him. You were standing still, trying to focus on what his fingers were doing on you. Your orgasm was slowly building up, you were certain your panties were drenched already.

You moved your hands down from Joon’s arms, finding his hips. You hooked your fingers on his belt, dragging it down like you wanted to take it off. You moved to the center and found the buckle. Still looking into his dark eyes, you unbuckled it. You tried to unzip his pants but he slapped your hands away, grunting in his throat. He was making you feel so good, you wanted to do the same for him. You tried again. Persistent in your maneuvers, you grabbed the hem of his slacks and pulled him closer. You heard how hard he was breathing, his hot breath was right on you. He was definitely uncomfortable, with his dick still coffined in all his clothes. You touched him through the material, he was already half hard. He moaned, feeling your palm on him, enjoying your touch. You slowly opened his fly and slid off the front of his pants. He didn’t stop you that time. He slowed his movements on you, curious what you were going to do.

Your hand dived right in and found his cock. He groaned almost with relief, finally getting some satisfaction. He didn’t want to pressure you on anything, he’d been the one that started touching you. But the way you looked, the way you were looking at him, your scent, your everything was making him crazy. He longed for you so much, his dick was betraying him the moment you’d started kissing. And when you grabbed him he’d almost cummed on the spot. It was insane, no doubts about that.

You pulled out his cock out of his boxer shorts and you started to move your hand. Slowly up and down, you were pumping his shaft, feeling his soft skin. When you circled your fist on the tip, you felt the precum gathering. He’d already been so hard when you’d touched him. Making you feel good made him way too excited. You touched his slit, tried to smear the precum on him, easing the friction. It dragged the sweetest moan from his mouth. You clenched at the sound, it was so sexy. You both were already moaning messes, trying to get yourselves cum, getting off on the sounds you both were making at the same time.

He left your clit for a moment, wanting to give you new stimulation. His wet finger easily slid down, found your entrance and went inside of you with an ease. You were so wet, so aroused you barely felt the stretch. He started to pump them in you, his long fingers were going in and out, making obscene noises that you both could hear. His thumb got back on your clit, it was moving with the same motion, sliding up and down.

Your grip on his cock tightened, you sped up with your motion. It was already throbbing in your hand, he was getting close. Your own high was also right around the corner, it was hard for you to focus on anything else. You wanted to cum, you wanted to feel the release but also wanted him to feel the same. With your second hand shaking, you pulled his pants lower but the zip, uncovering Joon fully. You found his balls and squeezed them, pulled on them, tried to add as much pleasure as you could. His response was stilling up his fingers and focusing on your clit, circling it furiously. You fisted his red tip, he curled his fingers inside you.

Joon cummed all over his shirt and your hand, with a chocked moan. You pumped him a few times more, riding out his orgasm, milking him to the last drop. You didn’t care about the mess, weren’t thinking about it at all. You both cummed one after another, you clenched on his fingers deep inside you, drowning them in your arousal.

When he caught his breath, Joon unbuttoned and took his shirt off. He gently cleaned his and your hand with it and threw it away on the floor.

“It’s already ruined anyway.”, he said, seeing your confused face.

You didn’t complain, though. From now on he was shirtless, his pants still unzipped. He looked as good as you remembered. With one of your hands you touched his flat stomach. He looked just so… pretty. You couldn’t find a better word. Because there was none. He was pretty.

Joon grabbed your hand, found the other one and put them on his neck. His cheeks were flushed, he was looking right at you.

“You know. I kinda regret that I can’t say I’ve been imagining this before.”, he tugged your loose hair behind your ear. “I can’t say I’ve been dreaming about seeing you like this.”, he wrapped his arms around you and found the zip of your dress. “I can’t say you look more beautiful than I have ever dreamed of.”

He slowly started unzipping your dress. When he reached the end, he moved his hand to your front, grabbing the hem of it and dragging with him. You only lifted up your arms to make it easier for him. The dress fell on the floor, pooling at your ankles, making you stand in your lace, black underwear.

“Fuck, you’re gorgeous…”

His eyes went wide at the sight. He was almost salivating. He wanted to touch every part of your beautiful body. He looked at your crotch. Even with the color of your panties he was able to see the wet patch.

You snapped him out of his thoughts by taking a step and grasping his pants. He was still wearing them and it was unacceptable. You dragged them down his long legs, kneeling in front of him. When they were off, he just kicked them to the side and waited for you to stand up. He pulled you close to him, he could see how your chest was moving, how you gasped at the closeness.

His forehead was right on yours. He was looking down at your breasts, still covered with a piece of garment.

“This is pretty.”, he said while grabbing your brallete’s front.

He hooked his finger at the front, right between your breasts and dragged it down, making it stay around your belly. You reached behind you and unclasped the hooking and shrugged the piece of clothing off, making it fall to the ground. You were left in your lace panties only, Joon had just his boxers on. You both were staring at each other, admiring your bodies. You knew what the next step would be but you were a little surprised when he first grabbed his boxer shorts and simply took them off. They fell to the floor, he kicked them to the side. He was fully naked standing right in front of you. You tried not to stare directly but his dick was right there. Joon took a step towards you. Before he grasped the hem of your panties he kissed you. His lips were on yours when he was sliding off the material from your hips. They landed on the floor as well, forgotten immediately.

Joon groaned in his throat, understanding that you were finally fully naked in front of him. Your body was right there for him, waiting to be touched. His lips moved from your to your jaw and then neck. He was tracing with his tongue over your skin. You were trembling each time he’d moved to a new place on your and air hit the wet patches. One of his hands found your breast, covering it whole.

“Do you have a condom?”, you breathed out those words more than said them.

He slowed down while kissing your neck and tried to focus. Blood from his brain had left it already and he had a hard time to remind himself where he’d left the said object. Somehow his hands left your body and he knelled on the floor, going through pockets in his pants. He found his wallet and took the condom out. When he stood up he held it between his pointing and middle finger, smirking at you.

You were breathing hard, cheeks still pinkish after your orgasm. But you both were still horny, you still wanted each other so much. You were definitely not done.

You reached out to him, tried to take the condom out of his hand. But he moved it away. He took a step back, a smirk not leaving his lips. You tried again but he moved away even further. He dropped his hand, turned around and went to his bedroom, without any words. You were left alone in his kitchen, all naked and sweaty.

He wanted you to follow him, right? He still wanted to have sex with you, otherwise he wouldn’t have taken the condom with him.

You slowly left his kitchen and followed him. The door was half opened, you pressed on it to get inside. Joon was sitting on the edge of his bed. When you were entering the room, he was tossing the plastic packaging onto the floor. He rolled the condom on his already hard dick and sat with his legs spread apart. Your mouth went dry at the sight of him. His body was glistening with sweat, wet hair stuck to his forehead. He looked like one of those Olympics contestants from ancient times, when they were participating fully naked. You wanted to carve that image into your brain.

You moved closer to him, still not able to take your eyes off of him. Joon reached out to you, inviting you to him.

“Y/N, please come to me…”

He didn’t have to say it twice. You sped up on your way to him and a moment later his hands were back on you. You stood in front of him, he held you by your waist, massaging your curves. Your skin was so soft, your whole body felt so good. One his hands shifted on your back and pushed you towards him. He joined his legs so you could easily straddle him. His arms were wrapped around you immediately, holding you close. He put his face on your collarbone, closed his eyes and for a moment let himself go. His mind was in such ease, he was feeling so good. He had never felt like that with anyone else before. He kissed the spot on your body right in front of his face. He took a deep breath, his embrace tightened around you. He wanted you with his whole being but at the same he never wanted to move again.

“You are really beautiful, you know that?”

You weren’t expecting these kinds of words in a situation like that. You didn’t know to say, flustered even more than before. But Joon wasn’t waiting for you to respond. With still his eyes closed, he wrapped fingers around the back of your neck and pulled you for a kiss. A hot, passionate kiss, which you both melted in. His plump lips were fully covering yours. He was nibbling at your lower lip, swiping his tongue on every spot his teeth had been before.

You were holding him by his neck, moving your hips on his laps, feeling his hard cock on your belly. You wanted to touch it again, fingers of your other hand brushed over his tip. Joon groaned in his throat and stopped kissing you.

“Your impatience is making me impatient.”, his voice was low.

He didn’t say more. He held tight, close to him. He moved in his spot to the side, flipping both of you, to end up on top of you, right between your legs.

“Is this what you want?”, he breathed out into your neck. “You want me to fuck you like this?”, his left hand traveled down at the back of your thigh to hook it up on his arm. “You want my dick inside you?”, he kissed your jaw.

His voice was giving you goosebumps. His words were shooting shivers through your body each time he’d spoken. You didn’t want him to stop, you wanted him to talk to you like that the whole time.

“Yes Joon, fuck me.”

“I think you’re gonna be the death of me if you keep talking like this.”

He smiled and dropped your leg. He pulled up on his elbows located on both sides of your head. For a moment he was looking at you with such affection, you felt your heart skipping a beat. He fixed your hair that stuck to your forehead, following with his eyes everything. A sight he wanted to remember forever.

With one of his hands, he reached down between your bodies and grabbed his cock. He pumped it with his fist a few times, before getting back to you. He guided himself at your core, you felt the tip between your folds. He leaned on his elbow again. You were rocking your hips to encourage him to do it and stop teasing you, you were so ready. He kissed you at the same time when he pushed himself inside of you. You both gasped at the feeling, his walls hugged him tight, giving you a slight burn, nothing you would care much about. He didn’t feel as big as you’d thought he would, maybe you were too excited, too wet from your previous session. You didn’t care. He buried himself in you up to the hilt and waited for you to adjust. He was all so careful, trying not to hurt you.

“Joon, you need to move. I’m about to go insane!”

“Well, we don’t want that, don’t we?”

And as you’d asked him, he started to move. He took out almost his entire cock, his tip was brushing your entrance yet again and he slipped back in with a slow long thrust. You moaned out loud when his hips met yours. His slow but firm strokes were dragging sounds out of you you’d never thought were possible. You pulled up your knees to give him even more space to move. He noticed and put one hand on your leg and pushed it all over to your chest. You were nearly bent in half, his dick was disappearing in you with his whole length.

“Baby, you’re so wet, it feels amazing. Is this all for me? Are you this wet for me?”

Namjoon hid his face in the crook of your neck, nibbling on your skin between his mumbling. You moved your hand to the back of his head to hold him close, to hear all those dirty things spilling out of his mouth. You sucked on his earlobe, wanting him to say more.

“You feel so good, so tight on my cock.”

His voice, lower than ever, was like an additional stimulation. You gasped each time, feeling a shiver going through your spine. His dirty talk was doing things to you you would never suspect. And he seemed to be oblivious to that, alone is his mind, focusing on how you were feeling on his throbbing cock.

You felt tingling on your forearm. Being completely occupied by the things Joon was doing to you, you had a problem with focusing on anything else. You lazily lifted up your hand and looked at it. You saw with your own eyes how your mark was changing, again.

You tapped Joon’s shoulder whispering his name.

“Y/N-what’s wrong? Am I hurting you?”, Joon misunderstood your action. He was immediately worried something was wrong so he slowed down his movements and looked at you.

“No, Joon, no.”, you kissed him. “Look.”

He followed your sight and saw your mark growing on your forearm. He turned his head to the other side to see if his was behaving the same. And it was. The shape was changing, same with the size. It was growing at his whole forearm, covering the inner side with new patterns. His hips almost halted, he got occupied with the action with your marks. They were getting more and more complex.

When they stopped you both got back to your previous matter. Joon smiled with his full dimpled smile, which you could swear made you clench on his cock still deep inside you.

“See? It’s good that you’re here with me.”

He got excited about what had just happened. He bit his lower lip and thrust hard into you. Encouraged of the behavior of your marks he sped up with his movements, feeling his high being just around the corner. He didn’t want to finish too fast, but the feeling of being in you was too overwhelming, he was getting close. He grabbed you by your hip, moving your bent leg to the side. His thrusts were getting sloppy, he was gasping for air, drained in sweat, his and yours. You moved your hips, trying to meet his in between, adding more friction to your sensitive nub, wanting to cum with him.

“Joon, make me cum…”, you breathed out, arching your back and closing your eyes.

“There is nothing in this world I want more…”

He took a deep breath and slowed down a little, to start grinding you. Being fully buried, deep inside you he was brushing your clit with his pubic bone. He covered you with his large body, with his hands on both sides of your head. You tried to open your legs even more, wanting to feel more, wanting more of him. Slightly clumsily he moved one of his hands to your breast, finding your nipple, rolling it between his fingers. His mouth was on your neck, he turned to the side wanting to look how your chest was moving under him. He absolutely loved the view of your body rolling in rhythm with his, how responsive you were to all his ministrations. It was so sexy, so intimate, so good he wasn’t able to prolong his orgasm any longer.

He thrust hard, focusing on you, already feeling he was cumming. Your coil in your belly snapped a moment later, you both were riding out your highs, feeling your whole bodies trembling. Joon didn’t even realize he’d left his teeth imprint on you. He didn’t remember biting you.

He laid on the bed, completely spent and exhausted. He couldn’t stop smiling. He was so happy. And satisfied. And surprised. And relieved how everything had worked out. He hadn’t been planning on sleeping with you on your first date, but the situation had gone out of control and you both basically had thrown at each other. He couldn’t be happier.

He turned to you. You covered your face with your hand, trying to catch a breath. You seemed to be happy as well. He wanted to see you like that all the time. It was a sight not only to his eyes but also to his heart. He had never felt like that. He had never had sex like that. How was all of this even possible?

He moved closer to you, nuzzled his face in your belly. His head bumped into your breast. He kissed your skin.

“I kinda want to eat you out right now. I bet you taste amazing.”

“You’ve already made me cum twice.”

“I can make it once again, if you allow me.”

“I want to sleep…”

“Alright, baby. But I’m gonna wake you up for some breakfast. My breakfast.”

You knew exactly what that meant and you felt excitement going through your naked body. Imagining Joon’s mouth between your legs gave you a strong heat wave. You barely had finished sex and you had had your second orgasm of the night and he was already giving you new excitements. He was so insatiable. You smiled to yourself admitting in front of yourself that you liked that about him.

But you were tired. You wanted to sleep like you’d said. You turned in your spot to face Joon. He moved up to be able to look at you. His lids were hooded, he was feeling sleepy as well. He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you close to him. You both stayed naked, his skin was hot on yours. You both started to drift away.

-------

You woke up in the middle of the night. Joon had loosen his tight embrace on you and was snoring into his pillow. He looked so peaceful. You didn’t want to wake him up.

Very slowly you rolled from his arms and sat on the bed. The whole room was dark and your eyes had to get used to the lack of light. You wiped your face with your palms, trying to wake up, make your sleep go away. You yawned, trying to be as quiet as possible. It had to be after midnight.

You stood up and quickly sneaked out of the room. You closed the door behind you, taking a last glance at Joon, making sure he was sleeping. His hand, which had had been on you before, was tossed on the pillow. You found your clothes in the kitchen and quickly dressed up. It was a weird feeling putting your date outfit back on. You knew you had to get back home looking like that. But this time you had no other option. Your bag was on the couch, where you’d left it. You ordered a cab through an app, to avoid unnecessary talk on the phone and left the apartment.

In the morning, when Joon woke up, he stretched his arms above his head, trying to get rid of the rest of the sleep. He opened his eyes and remembered he was not alone in his bed. With a smile on his face he turned in his spot to look at you. He was curious how you would look in the morning. A thought of seeing you naked next to him made a shiver go through his body. You’d looked so pretty the other evening, he had never thought sex with you would be so good. He also vividly remembered his promise to you about eating you out in the morning. He really wanted to keep his word.

But he didn’t find you next to him. He sat up and wiped his eyes. He didn’t hear any sound coming out of the bathroom or the kitchen. He left his bedroom without bothering to put anything on. If you were still there, you wouldn't be surprised seeing him butt naked. But you were nowhere to be found. You’d left without a word before he’d even woken up? He didn’t understand, he thought your date had gone very well. Not only the sex but even before you’d had such a good time. There was no reason for you to leave like that.

But he didn’t want to assume anything. He found his phone in the kitchen and opened your chat. He lifted his hand and took a selfie with a sad face. He made sure it hadn’t turned out to be a hidden dick pic, since he was still naked and sent that to you.

Joon [10:13]: Where are you? Why did you leave like that? I missed you today.

He was really hoping you would quickly respond to him. He had an idea to take you out for breakfast. If you’d still be with him in his bed that would have been so much more difficult. But since you’d already left you could meet in the city and eat something.

But you didn’t reply to his message. He was impatiently checking his phone throughout the whole day but each time he was only disappointed. You hadn’t even read it. You were ghosting him? But why? That didn’t make any sense.

He thought of calling you but that seemed too much. No matter the reason for you being silent, he didn’t want to push.

On Sunday he was still looking at his phone, making sure nothing had changed. He was less surprised though.

Monday morning he came to work before you. On his way there he was thinking what to say to you when you would come to the office. He wanted to see you so bad. He wasn’t able to even turn his computer on. He had to start his day with you.

The moment he saw you coming out of the elevator he quickly stood up from his desk and went straight towards you. He reached out to you, he wanted to hug you, take your hand in his, anything just to feel you. But before you were in his reach you took a step back.

“Namjoon, can we talk?”

He was slightly confused but agreed. Without saying anything else, you went to the conference room. You checked if nobody was there and let him in before you. When you closed the door, you felt how he stood right behind you. You turned around and his arms were immediately around you. He was pulling you close, trying to hug you.

“I missed you. I missed you on Saturday. Why did you leave like that?”

You had to use all of your physical and mental strength to unwrap yourself from his embrace. Joon was confused yet again but did not push. You left him at the door and went to sit at the table. He joined you, though when he was sitting down next to you, his facial expression had already changed.

“What’s wrong?”, he asked.

You wanted to say something, but seeing him again after the weekend caught you off guard. He wore his gray hoodie to work. You really liked how it suited him. He looked good in so many different things.

Joon was waiting for you to say something, he was trying to be patient. But he missed you and since you’d pushed him away a moment ago he was starting to be worried.

“Why are you ignoring me?”, he couldn’t stand the silence. “ Was it that bad?”

You slightly blushed hearing that question.

“Namjoon, we both know it was the best sex we ever had.”

He smiled to himself, a tip of his tongue peaked between his lips. He was proud of himself.

“We sure do. But I was asking about our date.”

Your face reached the reddest point possible. Of course he’d asked about your date. You felt like an idiot assuming he was talking about your sex. And that it had been the first thing on your mind.

He was still waiting for you to explain why you’d brought him there and why you’d been ignoring his messages.

“Are you breaking up with me?”, he asked.

“...yes.”, you answered quietly.

“Why? What did I do wrong?”

“N-nothing. You did nothing wrong…”

“Then what the hell? I thought our date was great! And not just the sex, which you said it yourself, was the best you’ve ever had!”

“It was… yes, I know… I said that…”

“So? I hope you’re not scared that I think bad about you because we had sex on the first date? Because I couldn't care less. I was there too, we both did that…”

“It’s just happening so fast…”, your hands were getting sweaty. Joon was leading the conversation, while it had been your idea. It was not going well.

“Wha-OK. So, it is about sex…”

“No, Namjoon. Please stop with the sex. What I meant… Everything is happening too fast.”, you had to repeat to remind yourself what you’d been trying to say. “I don’t think I’m ready for this. It was just a date, I was… I wanted to see if this is possible…”

“Of course this is possible.”

“I don’t know if I want to date you… I had this idea of going out with you and seeing how everything would go…”

“But we both agree it went very well, right?”

“... the thing is…”

“No. There is no thing…”, he wanted to interrupt you.

“Namjoon…”

“I told you to call me Joon!”

“Joon. The thing is… I don’t believe in soulmates.”

“Wha-How can you not believe when you have one?”, it made zero sense to him.

“I don’t believe that they don’t exist. I just don’t believe that… this is it. That having a soulmate is the key to your happiness, to your relationship.”

“That’s bullshit.”

“Too many people were finding each other, their soulmates and were thinking this is the end of their efforts, that they would end up together forever and a happy ending would come just like that.”

“People are stupid, what else is new.”, he rolled his eyes.

“You should… You should find someone else, Joon. Not everyone has to be with their soulmate...”

“What…?”, he looked at you with his eyes wide open. “I don’t… I don’t understand. We spent a great time together. Why are you doing this?”

He reached out to you, tried to take your hand. You quickly hid yours under the table, hoping he didn’t see how shaky they were. The whole conversation was killing you and him being affectionate was not helping. Joon exhaled loudly, being annoyed and super confused with your actions.

“I think we can do this. If we avoid any contact, maybe live far enough from each other…”

“What the fuck are you talking about? Last time you’d been avoiding me, your hand tried to kill you.”

“It’s OK now and we both will be OK. We just need time.”

Your words did not make sense. They sounded like gibberish to him. You did not say anything more and he had no idea what to say to you. You were rejecting him without any good reason, pushing him away like everything that had happened meant nothing to you. You had even retracted your hand just to avoid his touch. You were acting like a complete lunatic. He wrapped his palm around the wrist with his soulmate mark. He was almost waiting for it to itch or hit him with a pulsing pain, to alarm him that something was not right. But nothing like that happened.

You stood up from your seat, Joon was not stopping you. He was looking right in front of him, looking at something that wasn’t there.

“Why are you scared?”, his voice was really calm.

His question hit you, you almost stopped on your way out. But you wanted to play along and didn’t say anything. You hid your palms in your pants’ pockets and went straight to the doors.

„OK, well, thanks for ruining sex for me…”, he added when you were leaving the room.

-------

Accepting fully your fate

you share your life, your future

and what your soulmate has felt

—----

Seeing Joon everyday at the office was too much for you.

Before you’d been fighting a lot but you'd still been able to work together. But after your date there were too many different and new feelings between the two of you. He was mad at you but at the same time he was missing you. He didn’t know what to do with that, so he’d taken a passive aggressive attitude. You just couldn't stand that and it was affecting your work too much.

You switched to remote work, knowing it was fairly possible for you to maintain everything from home. Joon was not happy about your decision. You’d been avoiding him the whole time but when he’d found out about your plan he’d made sure you got a new laptop from IT, which had a working camera. No more video calls without a video.

So, from now on you still got to see his face but only on your screen, which was still not perfect, but at least it was some kind of solution.

Since Joon had helped you with your furniture it was much easier for you to organize your working station. You cleaned your desk and put everything that was needed there. You didn’t have to commute so you could also sleep a little longer. Even though it was your idea you were still not fully happy yourself. You liked working at the office, you’d even started to make some friends. But because of Joon, him being everywhere and giving you sad looks when he’d thought you hadn’t seen him, you had to run away.

Run away. That's how you’d called it. Because you were running away from him. From your relationship. From your soulmates marks and what they represented. But why? Why had you rejected Joon? You’d had to sit down and ask that question to yourself.

You’d really wanted to go out with him. You’d done everything to take the date seriously and you were certain Joon had done the same. It all had gone so well, you’d been surprised yourself.

And maybe that’s why you’d gotten so scared. Dating Joon had turned out to be so easy. Everything had gone so well, too well. Things like normally didn’t happen. First dates were awkward and very often simply disasters. And with him everything felt so natural and in its place. Nothing was forced and all made sense. Like you both were meant for each other. Because of those stupid marks… How on Earth someone who you’d hated so much, had become so important to you? He was making you blush for no good reason. Being with him was making you feel things, new things. He was making you feel things! And he’d seemed to be pretty down when you’d pushed him away. You really hadn’t like the look on his face.

Still, you’d made up your mind and had to go with that.

Everyday you’d been checking your mark, making sure your rejection of Joon had not affected you. It looked the same since your date, it had not changed in any way. It hadn’t hurt and you’d been feeling pretty good. You were confident enough to think this would not change.

On Friday you had a meeting with your whole team. You had to discuss your project and its progress throughout the last month. You prepared yourself, even had done something with your hair to not look like a homeless person, since the home office had hit you immediately. You were ready to see everyone, even Joon.

Everything had been scheduled for the end of the day, so you could finish your work right after the meeting. The plan was to have everyone share their presentations and progress. Your spot was somewhere in the middle, right after Joon. You were feeling a little nervous and your stomach hurt. You hadn’t eaten much that day so you weren’t sure what was the cause of that. But waited patiently for your turn.

When Joon finished you were already sweating. You were feeling sick, wanted to end the meeting and lay down. But it was already your turn and you opened your presentation to share it with everyone. You started to talk, but it was getting more and more difficult for you. You took a deep breath, hoping it would pass or you would simply survive until the end of your speech and ignore the rest of the team, apologizing before.

Joon noticed something was off. The video was law quality so he wasn’t able to guess that because of your appearance, but your voice. There was something wrong with your voice. You sounded like talking was a problem for you, like it was completely exhausting. That was definitely not normal. He wanted to say something but you didn’t give him any chance. You were struggling but kept going. He was watching you closely, ready to react if your state changed to worse. The thing that happened later almost gave him a heart attack.

You were near the end of your speech when you leaned your head on your palm, took a deep breath. Your arm was shaking, he was sure about that. You apologized and stood up from your desk. Maybe you needed a break, some fresh air or something else. Your chair rolled behind you, you looked at the screen, Joon could swear you made eye contact with him and then you collapsed. Everyone from your team saw how you lost your consciousness and fell on the floor like a piece of wood.

Time probably had stopped for Joon, he was not breathing. He whispered your name, more to himself than to anybody. People started freaking out, someone was talking to him on his headphones. He didn’t respond. He had only one thing on his mind: To get to you.

“Call an ambulance. This is her address.”

He quickly typed it on the keyboard and without turning his PC off or saying anything else, he took his bag and ran to the elevator.

He hadn’t thought that through because the moment he’d reached your building he realized he had no idea how to get into your apartment. You were unconscious, there was no way for you to open the door for him. Or the medics. They were still on their way, he didn’t see any ambulance around. He looked at your opened window, you were living on the second floor. An absolutely crazy idea hit him.

Climbing on a rain gutter looked much easier in the movies than it was in reality. His hands were burning with fire when he was barely in the middle. But he climbed through your window, feeling like his arms were about to fall off. He didn’t give himself any time to recover though. He immediately started to look for you. You were laying on the floor, hadn’t moved since you’d fallen during the meeting. That meant you had not regained your consciousness. The moment he’d jumped to you he heard a doorbell ringing. He wanted to be with you, take your hand, wake you up. But he knew very well it was the medics your coworkers had called. So he opened the door for them, still breathing hard from his climbing. He let them in and stayed in his spot, trying to catch his breath.

They were doing everything to wake you up, asking him questions about what had happened, were you ill, who he was and what he was doing there. He was so confused he’d barely heard them. One of them, a woman, stood up and came to him, asking if he was OK. Apparently his face was pale, he wasn’t reacting to the surroundings. What did that even mean? He looked straight in front of him, her face was blurred, he wasn’t even sure if it was her. Was he about to pass out as well?

Woman brought him back to you and made him sit on the couch. She was still asking a lot of questions. A thought stormed into his mind when she’d pointed at you.

“She’s… she’s my soulmate.”, his voice cracked. He didn’t feel like crying but he was scared.

“She’s what?”, the woman asked him to repeat.

He cleared his throat. He was trying to get back to his senses.

“She’s my soulmate. She has a mark like mine.”, he rolled up his hoodie’s sleeve and showed them. “She’s been avoiding me… rejecting me… It hurt her before…”

He looked at the woman and her facial expression changed. She was surprised but at the same time immediately understood what was going on. She left him on the couch and knelled next to you. She rolled up your sleeve just to see your mark.

“I’ve seen something like this before… People resisting their marks. You said it had happened before?”

“Not like this. It hurt her, itched, made her sick. But she’s never lost her consciousness.”

Woman sighed. She seemed less stressed than before, finally knowing what was the cause of your state.

Medics woke you up. They put you on the couch, Joon stood up and helped them. You were still feeling dizzy but you were awake.

“I should tell you that this is only temporary. We got her on her feet but we can’t do anything about the mark and its effect on her. Or you.”

“Me?”

“It concerns both of you. You are her soulmate. You need to find a solution, otherwise nothing’s gonna change.”

“But she’s…”

“She’s rejecting you and it’s hurting her. I don’t know exactly how that works but… you need to figure this out.”

Figure this out. Joon had heard that before.

When they’d made sure you were fine and alive, medics left your apartment, leaving you with Joon alone. He closed the door behind them, standing in his spot for a few moments. He didn’t know what to say to you. He was scared to even look at you. What another stupid idea would come to your mind if he tried to approach you? He was mad, he was sad, he was terrified.

When he left the door knob he realized how much his hands were shaking. He’d had to pretend he was fine with everything that had been going on and his body started to betray him. He took a small step back and turned your direction. You weren’t surprised when he stood in front of you. He waited until you moved to the side, making more space for him. He sat next to you, both of you were unnaturally quiet.

“How are you feeling?”, his voice was hoarse, though not shaking. It took a lot of strength from him to hide his state.

“I’m OK.”

He only nodded at your words. He tightened his lips, they became a one, thin line. He was trying to suppress them trembling. He wasn’t sure if he was about to burst into tears or scream and shred you into pieces. The worst case scenario he would do both and that would not help anyone.

“You’re OK…”, he hid his face in his palms.

“You don’t need to worry…”

“Of course I need to!”, he dropped his hands in a second and looked at you. “I thought I’d lost you when you… when you fell on the floor! Do you have any idea how scared I was?”

“I’m sorry, I have no idea what happened…”

“You know very well. It’s all because of your mark. Because of your soulmate mark that you share with me.”

You didn’t know if it was for his words or the tone he’d used but you froze in place, hit by his statement. You knew he was telling the truth, the truth you’d been pushing back in your mind, repressing it, trying to hide and pretending it did not exist.

“What are you so afraid of?”

You felt tears gathering in your eyes, it was so embarrassing. How was it possible that each time you rejected reality, you rejected Joon, he was going straight back to you with a new strength? Was that the mark dragging him back to you?

“Y/N, talk to me. Stop pretending this doesn’t concern me.”

You looked at him. Tears made your vision blurry so you blinked once, then second time to see him more clearly. He was right there, right next to you. Sitting on your couch, in his blue hoodie, eyes wide open and on you. How on Earth had you ended up like that?

“Joon… how did you get into my apartment?”

“I teleported from the office, why does it matter?”

“Did you break in?”

“You are not going to change the subject. You need to…we need to talk about this, OK? We need to figure this out.”

He slowly reached out to you and gently took your hand in his. He pulled a little and used his other hand to uncover your soulmate mark. You let him do that, did not stop him at any point. His touch was already so familiar to you, always making you calm. You each time seemed to had forgotten about that. You’d been avoiding him for so many times and yet every time he’d come back to you, his presence, his touch, his scent was soothing for you. It was hard to repress that from your mind when he was with you.

“Stop running away and come back to me.”, his words brought you back to your apartment.

You looked at your mark. You hadn’t even paid attention to it earlier. It hadn’t hurt, itched or causing you trouble, like before. You’d thought it should give you any kind of signal if something was going on with it. Before collapsing during the meeting you hadn’t noticed anything. This time it had taken you down without any warning.

The shape of the mark, its color or details were still the same, that hadn't changed. You hadn’t felt pain in your forearm, nothing like that had happened before you’d lost your consciousness. But the mark. But the mark itself was broken. Literally it was broken in half. The whole pattern had a small break in the middle, a thin line on your skin was visible again. It didn’t look bad, not like before but it absolutely terrified you. You opened your eyes widely, scared what that actually meant. Were you the one that was broken?

Joon was holding your hand, not letting you go, seeing your reaction to your mark. He’d been already scared as fuck, he didn’t want to show you how his heart dropped down to his stomach when he’d seen your forearm. Instead of that he wanted to calm you down and restore what had been damaged, what had been broken.

“I’ve said it already, but… you need to let go. Fuck, Y/N, you need to let go everything and stop running.”

He was looking into your eyes, not the mark. He knew you had to calm your mind to make it whole again. Because it was not the mark that was a problem itself. You’d done this before so you took a deep breath and tried to focus on a present, on a place you were, on a silence in the room, on Joon’s fingers on your skin. You took a glimpse of his wrist, seeing the small part of his mark. He didn’t have problems like you, he was at peace with it. You gently touched the thin line on his skin with your other hand. It was warm, it seemed maybe warmer than it should. You felt something weird, like the warmth from his body actually traveled to yours, making you calmer. You took your hand away, the feeling disappeared. You looked at Joon, his eyes had never left you. Then you both looked at your wrist. Your mark was slowly getting back to its normal shape. You felt a quite vivid sting when the broken parts reached each other. You hissed at the feeling, you were pretty sure your mark was punishing you for your earlier behavior. Joon wanted to calm you down but he felt something similar. He almost jumped in his spot, quickly uncovering his forearm. He hadn’t been doing anything foolish so there should not be anything going on with his mark. But he saw how it started to change along with yours. The middle lines were growing, reaching up to the inside of your elbows. They were thin but all black, looked more solid than the rest. They didn’t stop moving but split into two and went both sides, started to go around your arms. You felt that. You were feeling the lines on your skin, them moving, going deep into your skin. It didn’t hurt, it was uncomfortable, like something else was happening, something new and inevitable.

Your heart started to beat faster, you felt cold sweat on your back. Why was it doing things like that? Why was it growing again? Was it going to consume your whole arm if you wouldn’t accept it? Why was it so weird?!

You got scared. No, you started to panic. You fought with an urge to shake your hand, to make it stop. Joon was right there to stop you, knowing very well how you felt. No. No he did not know. He felt that. He felt exactly what you did, but there were not his feelings. He wasn’t scared and that was not his emotion. It was coming from the outside, it was coming from you. When he was holding your hand, when he was so close to you, your feelings were spilling on him, he was able to share them with you.

He had no clue something like that was even possible. It had never happened before, even while you’d been together at night. It seemed like your marks established a connection. Maybe to help you, maybe to show him what you were going through.

“Y/N, look at me. You don’t need to be scared. I’m not, I’m with you.”

He was with you all the time, holding you, being close. It was helping, because he was going through the same thing, he understood you and it was all new to him as well. You both had to deal with your situation, find your way, figure this out. Joon felt the moment when you were calming down, your breath became normal again. When you completely calmed down your connection got lost. He wasn’t feeling any of your emotions anymore.

The weird feeling also disappeared. You both looked at your marks. They seemed… finished. The whole pattern was much more detailed than before, your whole forearm was now covered with fancy lines in all possible shades on black. It was your own style, nobody on Earth had the same one. Only you and Joon. You’d never seen something like that before, it was all new to you. But you both knew this is how it was supposed to look. And that it was done.

You felt a weird relief. You dropped your hands, feeling exhausted. You were getting tired of this carousel of feelings. You sighed heavily, your right hand felt heavy.

“I’m getting tired of this. I feel like I’m being simply drained by this thing.”

“This thing is your soulmate mark. It’s not trying to kill you.”

“Then why does it feel differently?”

“This would never happen if you stopped running away. You can’t do it anyway.” “Why is it so easy for you?”

“Easy? Oh trust me, this is exactly the opposite of easy. If I wasn’t sitting down I would have fallen on the ground like a piece of wood.”

“But you always know what to do, what to say.”

“I don’t. I’m lost like you. Scared like you. And I can’t look at you when you’re in pain, when you’re hurting.”

“Hurting? I’m not doing this on purpose. I just don’t know what to do…”

Joon went silent for a moment. You could swear his eyes became teary, like he was having an inner fight. Like he was stopping himself from saying something.

“Y/N, I asked you one thing: Not to hurt yourself.”

You didn’t say anything. You looked at him, your eyes were wide open, like you were trying to say something, maybe apologize to him. But you stayed silent. Joon stood up from the floor and just left. He had no idea how to get to you. It seemed like you were doing all of that on purpose, like you were hurting yourself simply out of spite. He couldn’t stand that, look at you when that happened. It was killing him.

-------

The whole weekend had been a nightmare to him. He’d been fighting with the urge to call you, text you or even just storm into your apartment again and scream. He’d been so angry, frustrated and simply defeated he had no idea what to do with himself. He’d started cleaning his bookshelf just to find himself busy and had ended up reading one of the books while sitting on the floor. His back hurt but he didn’t stop until late night.

He was at his desk, when someone stood right next to him. He looked up, having some kind of hope in him it was you. Maybe you wanted to apologize, say you’d been the asshole the whole time and finally had realized you wanted to run away with him and open a bookstore outside the city. It was a wild idea but he would not oppose it.

Sadly, he didn’t see your face but one of your coworkers, Kate. She was holding a red box tightly in her hands, hugging it to her chest. He hadn’t seen her in a while but she was from a finance department. He wasn’t a regular guest over there.

“Hey, what’s up?”, he smiled at her.

She hugged the box even more and put her head down, embarrassed that she’d actually come to him. She was shy and didn’t talk to many people.

“H-hey. How are you? I was just… I just came back from my trip and have this box of chocolates. I know you like sweets so… I thought you might like them.”

“Oh that’s so nice of you!”, he was already reaching out to grab the box. “But… You don’t want some? It’s a big box.”

“No, I am not a big fan of sweets.”, she put the box on the desk, seeing how eager he was.

“So why did you buy it in the first place?”, he looked at her, while his hands were already opening the box.

She got startled by the logic in his question. Why did she buy it anyway? The truth was too embarrassing but at the same time she’d already come to him. She’d started everything, she had to finish it.

While Kate was still preparing her answer, Joon heard you snoring at your desk. Of course you were listening.

“I-I didn’t buy it, I got it as a gift. But you can have it.”

“Thank you!”, his mouth was already full of chocolate.

You snorted again, a little louder than before. You hid behind your computer screen, trying not to laugh out loud. Joon’d heard you like the first time. He narrowed his eyes and wanted to stand up and go to you but Kate stopped him.

“Also… I wanted to ask you something…”, her voice was getting quieter with each word.

Joon sat back, swallowing chocolate in his mouth. He was still looking in your direction but he heard everything Kate was saying. He grabbed another chocolate.

“I’ve been thinking about this for a while but… I like you, Namjoon. I’ve been having this crush on you for… ever and wanted to ask… if you go out with me…”

Kate got all red on her face but did everything not to avert her sight from Joon. He himself stopped chewing and looked at her with eyes wide open. You dropped your phone on the floor.

“You… You like me?”

“Y-Yes… I think you’re really nice… and cute.”

Joon swallowed his chocolate to think more clearly.

“I know this is all of sudden… but I’ve been thinking about this for quite some time now…”

“And you want to go out with me?”, Joon was still processing new information.

“... yes.”

He was surprised. Not that someone could like him. He was very likable, for sure. But he barely knew Kate and he was damn sure she didn’t know him as well. And yet, she had a crush on him.

He wiped his mouth, to make sure there was no chocolate left. He wasn’t in the mood for dating. He’d recently bought a new set of figurines and a glass cabinet for them. He’d planned to spend the entire weekend setting everything up to look pretty. Plus, he was still mad at you.

You. Oh, he knew very well you were still listening. You’d heard every word that had been said. He looked at your desk. He was able to see just a tip of your head but he could bet your ears were open.

“Sure, I’ll go out with you.”, he said loudly and smiled at Kate.

You shifted in your chair. Joon was hoping you were burning with jealousy. He didn’t even record Kate smiling and giggling that she couldn’t wait. She left all happy and bubbly about the dress she was going to wear. Joon kept looking at you, hoping for some, any reaction. If you were hurt, jealous or felt anything else, you didn’t show that to him. You were avoiding him all day. Joon knew that the next step would be the actual date.

He took Kate to the small restaurant, near your office. He knew it was good so it couldn’t be a failure. He wasn’t sure if she was vegetarian or not, but they had both options in their menu. It was just a safe choice.

They’d been working together in the same company for two years. They’d never talked much or spent time together outside of work. She always seemed nice, very quiet. He’d had no idea she’d been crushing on him all this time, while he’d never actually noticed her.

He should feel bad about agreeing to a date with her just to piss you off, but he was pissed off himself too much. He decided to think and worry about that some other time.

She was waiting for him at the table. Just as he’d been waiting for you for your date. It struck him how before it had been him so keen to see his date, to start the night and spend as much as possible time with the special person. Had the roles changed this time?

He sat in front of her at the table. She looked cute. She wore a short, pink dress, well fitted to her petite figure. She was looking at him with her big eyes, smiling all the time. He decided to enjoy the evening, eat something good and especially not think about you.

“How was your day?”, he started with a small talk.

“Oh, pretty good, but busy. I had some paperwork to do because Janice is on sick leave.”

He had no idea who Janice was.

“Something happened?”

“Well, officially she got the flu but let me tell you what I’ve heard…”

Joon didn’t stop her and later he realized how big a mistake that had been.

Because he barely knew her, he had actually no idea what kind of person she was. They’d never talked for longer than just for a few minutes and it had never been outside of work. Joon’d thought she was shy and quiet. It turned out she was not.

The moment she started to talk she did not only stop at any point but all she was talking about were gossips. It was the only topic she cared about and was actually interested in. And she knew a lot of them. About everyone in the office, people he knew, people he’d barely met and people who he’d had no idea even existed. And he wasn’t sure if she even cared about them being true. Probably she did not. A good gossip did not have to be true. It just had to be good. He tried to interject, change the subject and when he became really desperate just casually drop a gossip himself. But it was pointless. She was not even listening to him.

He was not having fun and what was more important he wasn’t feeling good. With time passing he was getting tired and sleepy. He tried to wake himself up while eating but it did not do any good.

When he drifted away he realized she was actually saying something to him. She wanted to go to the bathroom and asked him to order her dessert if a waiter came by. He smiled and nodded, forgetting how to speak, when she was doing all the talking during their date.

When she left the table he was already feeling dizzy. He shook his head, but it did not help. He wasn’t sure what was wrong with him. Was he sick? Tired? Poisoned? Bored to death with all those gossips? He checked the time on his phone. It was too early to leave and finish the date. He really wanted to lay down.

While his phone was still locked he got a notification from your work chat. You posted something in the latest conversation. Maybe about your project or maybe not. He didn’t care. Seeing your name made his heartbeat faster. And for some reason a relief in his weird state.

Next thing he did was calling you. He leaned his forehead on his palm, the other was clenching on his phone, hoping you would pick up, even after checking who was calling you.

You answered after a few rings and heard his voice.

“Talk to me.”

“What the fuck… you called me! Aren't you supposed to be on a date?”

“I am but… I’m feeling weird, weak…”

“Go take a breath of fresh air or I don’t know…”

“It’s getting better… your voice is helping.”

“My voice?”

“Yes. Just keep talking to me.”

“About what?”

“Anything, please.”

You exhaled annoyed about the situation but you agreed. You started to talk about what you’d done after getting back from work. You mentioned all simple errands you’d done and a show on Netflix you’d been watching before he called you. You were feeling pretty silly, especially at the beginning. Talking nonsense, stupid, non important stuff. But Joon was listening, even responding to that. He paid attention. It lasted only a few minutes when he stopped you.

“OK, she’s coming back. Uh, thank you for that.’, he went silent for a couple of seconds. ”Sorry for interrupting your evening.”

“I bet you’re having more fun than me…”

“I take that bet.”

He hung up and quickly hid his phone. Kate hadn’t noticed anything. She sat back in her seat, with a wide smile on her face.

“Did you order something for me?”

He had to focus really hard to connect the dots and remember himself what she’d asked him before leaving the table.

“You know what… I didn’t.”, before she opened her mouth he stopped her. “I thought… since it’s getting late… I could walk you home… maybe down the river or something.”

He was already feeling bad about the whole date situation but every additional moment with Kate bubbling about her coworkers secret affair would make him stab his fork into one of his eyes, just to have an excuse to leave the restaurant. He’d had to finish their dinner, find a way to run away. Proposing a simple walk seemed like a perfect trick to make her go home and finally be free.

He paid for the dinner and went straight outside to take a deep breath. For fuck’s sake, why had he agreed to go out with her?

Kate joined him a moment after. He put on the last smile from his repertoire for that night and took her to the river. Even though she got back to her monologue almost immediately, like she had never stopped talking, it was easier for him to zone out while being at his favorite spot in the city. He deeply regretted it was her who was with him, but the river was not going anywhere. He could bring you some other time.

Ah, there we go. He lasted the whole date without thinking about you. Your short phone call did not count, it was an emergency and it had helped him to survive. Plus, it was not thinking, but talking. Completely different thing.

He tried to focus on Kate, again. She was talking about a guy who worked on a different floor than her. Great, she was still on her one and only topic. Joon sighed, feeling like the whole week had passed since they started their date. He was exhausted. He didn’t want to interrupt her, assuming it would be better just to leave her to her own world but he managed to ask her about her address, to be able to actually get there. He wanted to do that as fast as possible.

When they reached the place, they stopped at the building entrance. Kate walked onto two steps, which made her almost the same height as Joon. He wasn’t sure if she was waiting for something, for him to do or maybe say. All he was thinking about saying goodbye and going anywhere but there.

“Thank you for tonight.”, she said.

“Yeah… It was nice.”, he half smiled at her.

They were both standing in their spots, looking at each other.

“Have a nice rest of the evening.”

Joon almost sighed with relief when he’d said that. He used all his strength to walk away slowly and hide his facial expression. He did not look back, he was pretty sure she was safe and sound and didn’t need more of his assistance. When he turned around the corner he leaned on the building’s wall and closed his eyes. He was finally free.

That date was… so fucking bad. He was bored out of his mind. What the fuck he was doing? Why was he going out with someone else? Someone else than you? He didn’t want that. He’d done all of that to make you jealous. Yes, it had been extremely stupid, childish and he ended up calling you anyway. Let’s face it, that had been a disaster from the beginning. He regretted everything. All he wanted was to see you again.

And so he changed the train and chose the one that was going to your place. It still wasn’t that late. For fuck’s sake, he’d ended up that date so fast, just to escape her. He should have felt embarrassed but he decided to do that later, again. He had other things to do.

Without any stop he went straight to your apartment. When you opened the door you were surprised to see him and wanted to ask at least a few questions but he didn’t give you any chance. Before you said anything he walked past you.

“OK, hi…”, you started, with a truly passive aggressive tone.

He ignored you. He took off his shoes and looked around your apartment. He was looking for something. Then he took off his jacket, dropped it on the floor.

“...OK.”, you were still super confused.

He started to walk towards your bedroom. He took off his shirt.

“Wow…”

Still on his way he took off his pants.

“WHOAW!”

He dropped everything on the floor and disappeared in your bedroom, before you did more than screaming. You ran after him to find him in your bed, rolled in your comforter, with his back turned to you, pretending he was sleeping. You stood in the door, asking yourself what the actual fuck. What he had just done? What had just happened?

“Joon?”

He didn’t respond. Only a tip of his head was visible from his comforter burrito. But it was impossible that he had already fallen asleep.

You were clueless what to do. Was he planning to sleep in your bed? Why the fuck had he even come to you? He’d been on a date, he should be with… What was her name?

“Joon, are you lost?”

He sighed, hearing your question. He wasn’t trying to pretend he was sleeping. He just wanted a break. He slowly sat up, the comforter slid down his naked chest. He was really wearing only his underwear.

“I can’t sleep in my bed. I’m waking up all the time. I need to sleep here.”

“Absolutely fucking not. Get out.”

“Make me.”

You stood in front of your bed, for a second calculating your chances of actually pulling him out of your bed and putting outside the door. That would end very badly.

You sighed defeated. This was all so stupid. You sat on the bed in front of him.

“So… how was it?”, you asked. You both knew what you were talking about.

“The whole evening was awful. She’s so boring. All she can talk about is gossip. Work gossip! She knows everything about everyone and not even half of that is true.”

“About me as well?”

“Yes! Everyone! It’s so exhausting!”, he dramatically dropped on the bed.

“So why did you go out with her?”

“You know very well why. I wanted to make you jealous.”

You averted your eyes from him. You didn’t expect him to admit that so blatantly.

“That was a mistake.”, he said. “Did it work?”, he raised his eyebrow.

“Did you leave her at the restaurant?”, your heart skipped a bit when you’d heard his question so you quickly asked about something else.

“No, I would never do that. We finished… the date, if we must call it that, I walked her home and moments after I was on my way… here.”

“Why?”

“I just wanted to be here. Our talk on the phone really helped me and I wanted to see you.”

“Why did you call me anyway?”

“I was literally dying.”

“That seems a little dramatic, don’t you think?”

“You weren’t there. You didn’t have to listen to her stories about people I have never met in my life. Did you know…”, his voice changed, like was imitating someone.” Steven from the logistics department had an affair with his brother’s wife and they almost ran away together?”

“We have a logistics department?”

“Yes and I think we should avoid Steven. He doesn’t sound like a stand up guy.”

“Why, do you have a wife he could steal from you?”

“Not yet, but I don’t wanna jinx it.”

You chuckled. You hadn’t admitted that to him, but you were in fact jealous of his date with that woman. It was stupid and you were completely aware of that, especially after that it had been you who’d broken up everything with him. And on some level you were happy he’d come to you at the end. It was very selfish, but to be completely honest, he’d said himself that he’d wanted to see you.

After talking the whole evening, you fell asleep in your bed together. You weren’t able to kick him out and he simply stayed in his place and rolled in your comforter again. You tried to lay as far as possible, not to feel his presence next to yourself. Joon didn’t try to move closer, hug you or anything like that. You were scared that if he tried, you wouldn’t be able to say no.

You were half asleep, trying to turn in your spot. You had a calm dream and wanted to get back to that. But you felt his presence on your bed, presence you forgot about. You opened your eyes and saw Joon, right in front of you. He was deep in his sleep, breathing calmly. His face was nuzzled in the pillow, hair messy.

Before thinking anything, you slowly reached out to him. He was so close, he probably moved during his sleep. Your fingertips gently touched his cheek. His skin was so warm and soft. You looked at his lips.

Fuck. You really fell for him. Your feelings were getting stronger day by day and you’d fucked everything up because of fear. Joon was so good to you and you were pushing him away. He’d been right before. There was something wrong with you.

You didn’t register his moves, instead you felt his warm fingers on your hand. He grabbed it and pulled it to his lips. He kissed your skin, or more like pressed his plump lips onto it, you felt his hot breath. His eyes were still closed.

“Please, go to sleep.”, he whispered.

You panicked and pulled your hand away. Without waiting for him to look at you or say anything you turned around on your spot, back to him and hoped you would be able to fall asleep in one second. It was dark, no street light was going through your drapes so he wasn’t able to properly see you. Your face was all hot and red, your heart was jumping like crazy. He’d caught you off guard, in a moment like that. You wanted to cry from embarrassment.

Joon smiled to himself. He hadn’t wanted to scare you. He’d felt your fingers on his cheek, he really liked your touch. He wanted you to touch him. He wanted to reciprocate that. Just a small, innocent touch. But you got scared again like an animal hearing a loud noise.

He moved in his spot, moved closer to you. He wanted to wrap his arm around your waist. Pull you closer, feel your warmth, maybe your skin after slipping his fingers under your T-shirt. He missed you.

But seeing you being scared of just a kiss to your palm was a cold shower to him. He didn’t want to scare even more. He simply just stayed in his place, right behind you, trying to fall back asleep.

In the morning, you both woke up at the same time. You were still lying close to each other. feeling each other's warmth. Joon smiled at you but you quickly put yourself up and sat at the edge of the bed. Wiping your eyes out of sleep, you felt a mattress shifting behind you. His long fingers gently wrapped around your arm. You felt his lips on the back of your neck. He didn’t kiss you. He simply pressed them on your warm skin, inhaling your scent, feeling your presence. It was so intimate you got scared.

Without a word you stood up and left the room. Joon sat in your bed for a moment, before he did the same thing. He grabbed his clothes on his way and left your apartment, defeated and alone.

You rejected him yet again.

—----

He went inside the cafe and ordered a coffee for himself. He’d done that right before a big group of people stormed inside and started to shout their orders. He simply moved to the side and waited for his order, while looking at the crowd.

It’d been another long ass week. He was so tired and beaten that the coffee was his highlight of the day. All he wanted was to take his full cup of coffee, go back home and forget about everything and everyone. He wanted to be alone, maybe start reading a new book he’d ordered lately. Maybe he would finally find time to relax.

He was scanning people around him, calculating how hard it would be to get to the counter for his order when he saw her. She was in the crowd, but not part of it. She’d just come at the wrong moment. She was trying to order something, jumping behind a much taller guy, trying to see the menu. She didn’t see him at first. He wasn’t sure if coming up to her would be a good idea. After all, she’d dumped his ass and had never spoken to him since.

When he decided to stay in his place and leave her alone, Soomi saw him.

They sat back at one of the tables. Joon was pretty nervous. How did you actually talk with someone that had broken your heart? She was the one that had suggested they talk, he was waiting for her to speak first. But they both were sitting quiet, not knowing how to start a conversation. She was intensely looking at him all the time. He felt slightly embarrassed being watched like that. What was she thinking? Was she sad? Was she mad? But why would she? He was the one that should be mad. Right? Well, at least he had been before. He realized a lot of time had passed and he got rid of all hate and anger.

“Did… you find her?”, she broke the silence.

“Yes.”, he knew very well what she’d meant. She was talking about his soulmate.

“Are you guys together now?”

“No.”, he half smiled.

She went silent for a moment, analyzing everything she had heard.

“So, we’d broken up because of her and you’re not together?”

“You…!”, he almost started a fight. It was just a second but he was ready to remind her who was to blame. But he didn’t want that. It was not important anymore. “She rejected me. A few times. So much fun.”

“So, what are you gonna do?”

“Well, my soulmate doesn’t want me, she’s repelling me constantly. I guess… I will chop my hand off!”

Would that actually help? If his soulmate mark disappeared would they both feel better? Or maybe it would appear on his other forearm? He had to check that online.

“Who is she? Do I know her?”

“You’ve never met her but I told you about her. We’re working together. It’s Y/N.”

“Y/N.”, she repeated after him. “Wait, we’re talking about that Y/N, the one you hate, who stole your job?”

“It’s really weird, but that's the case.”

“Aren’t you supposed not to know your soulmate before getting a mark and finally meeting?”

“I’ve been there, asking myself this. As I understand, having a soulmate mark looks like signing a deal with the devil. There is always a catch.”

“What’s the catch for you? You don’t find her attractive?”

“Quite the opposite. She’s very attractive. And smart. We went out once, we had a great time, we went to bed, we had an even better time and then she stopped answering my messages or even talking with me.”

“Wait… you slept with her?”

“Um, yes?”

“Joon. You didn’t want to have sex with me for a whole month, when we’d started to date. You said it has to mean something, so you wanted to wait. But you slept with her… on your first date.”

Joon was completely caught off guard. He had never thought of that when he’d been with you. Everything that had happened on your date was just so natural and not forced in any way. For him, it had meant a lot.

“I remember saying this to you. And that in fact, that was true. I didn’t want to rush anything.”

“I guess… it’s different when it’s with your soulmate.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, I probably shouldn’t have mentioned that in the first place…”

“I’m sorry. I’m just really curious about a woman who basically ruined our relationship.”

What the fuck? Joon stopped drinking his coffee after hearing her words. Was she talking about herself, because she’d been the one that had ruined everything. Was she testing him?

“Can’t blame you for being curious, sure. I’ve known Y/N for a while but only after we’ve discovered we’re each other's soulmates I actually got to know her.”

“So, you’ve been working together all that time, not knowing…?”

“Well, no. Our marks showed up when she moved to the city. She was working remotely before. But it took us a while to… as you called it… find each other. More for me, because she saw my mark and didn’t tell me anything… “

“I’m gonna ask you the worst possible question ever, but…”

“If we were still together, I would never cheat on you.”, he interrupted her.

“Even after knowing who she is, after falling in love with her?”

“I’m not in love with her! And we were only on one date. But! After we broke up. It all happened later, much later.”

“Are you saying, I pushed you into her arms?”

Joon chuckled to himself. The ridiculousness of this conversation was cracking him up.

“More like… you were not there anymore. You left me.”

Probably for the first time he said that without any unwanted emotion. He was looking straight into her eyes and was able to point out who’d left him. It was truly liberating.

Soomi, on the other hand, was feeling worse and worse with each passing second. She was the one who’d been asking all questions about you, not being able to stop. Curiousness was eating her alive. After all, she’d cut everything with Joon in just one day, not looking behind her, not trying to find out how he had been. Seeing him in person, talking so straight forward was a little shocking. She had not planned that nor she had not been prepared.

“I am actually surprised you wanted to talk with me. After all…”

“Joon, I miss you.”, she interrupted. “I made a mistake. Can we please get back together?”, she blurted out in one breath.

He stopped talking and looked at her. For a second he looked surprised. Like he would never expect to hear those words. But a moment later his facial expression changed. He looked like a person who had had this conversation in his head a million times before. He’d dreamed about her saying that, jumping into his arms and apologizing for everything. He dreamed about them getting back together and forgetting about everything else. It’d always been the same until he’d found you. Because that had changed everything.

“If you asked me this question two months ago, I would gladly say yes.”

“And today?”, there was hope in her voice.

At first, he didn’t say anything. He avoided eye contact. He was nervously tapping on the table, looking through the window at people passing by the cafe.

“I don’t think this is a good idea.”, those words were not easy for him. “It’s too late.”

It was weird but he felt relieved. Relieved he had said that. He felt free.

She went silent, trying to accept her failure. She tried not to cry, she didn’t want to beg.

“I really loved you.”, he said quietly. She noticed how he’d used a past tense.

“Yeah?”

“Yes, very much. I was happy.”, he sighed. “But now I have this stubborn nutcake straight from hell as my soulmate and I have to deal with that.”

She laughed at his words, quickly wiped a tear that escaped her despite all her previous efforts to avoid that.

“I know it’s been a bumpy road but… can we still be friends?”, she asked.

“I guess… Maybe not at first and not friends forever but… why not?”, he wasn’t completely convinced of the idea but he assumed it was gonna be a long time till next time they would meet. He had time to figure that out in his head.

“So, if we’re friends now… You wanna grab a drink?”, her attitude changed a little.

“Wha-Now?”

“Yes.”

“I guess. It’s Friday. I actually would need a drink.”

Joon wasn’t able to say anything more. Soomi simply stood up, grabbed his arm and guided him outside the cafe. She took him to a bar, which was supposed to be close to her new apartment. She knew that place so they found empty spots and she ordered two beers.

“Well, that escalated quickly.”, he said when taking a sip from his drink.

She only laughed and drank her as well. The whole place seemed to be crowded. They’d had to sit at the bar, since all tables were full. Friday brought many people out of their homes.

They were actually having a good time. They stopped talking about you or soulmate marks. Soomi wanted to catch up so she was asking about his work and everything that you ask during small talks. Joon was still feeling weird so he had to finish his first beer and start another one to open up. But he wasn’t complaining. He finally had some fun after months of hard work. He really needed that.

Beer was coming one after another and he quickly got drunk. It was like Soomi was trying to get him into that state. She was sitting next to him. More people were coming, it was getting even more packed. Her arm was right next to his, he was feeling her warmth. When he was turning to her to say something she was right there. Right in front of him. Her pretty, round face was all pink because of the alcohol. But she hadn't changed at all. She looked just as he remembered. He’d used to wake up next to her. Hugged her in the morning. Kissed her. Her lips were shiny, she probably tasted like beer. He’d drank so much beer he wasn’t sure he knew any other drink.

Soomi laughed, he’d probably said something funny. He wasn’t trying hard, they both were in a state no additional efforts were needed to have fun. She leaned her face on his shoulder, he noticed her makeup was slightly smeared. He would probably find some stains on his hoodie later. He didn’t care.

She looked up at him, her eyes were shining. He remembered that look. He always thought she was pretty. In a cute way. She was giggling, leaning on him all the time, touching his arm, pulling him close. She was warm and he was feeling really lonely.

His glass was empty, so he put it away. He looked at Soomi. She got even closer, her face was right in front of his. He leaned forehead on her, it was getting hot and steamy. He was pretty sure it was all in his head but when they lips met it all felt real. They were kissing. At first shyly, trying to remember how it was before, what they liked, how they had been kissing before. Namjoon cupped her face, feeling her hot and sweaty skin. It all felt so familiar, like nothing had ever changed.

She broke the kiss and looked into his eyes. He knew that look. He knew that look very well.

She hadn’t lied saying her apartment was close. Somehow they got there in one piece. She was living with a roommate and they had to act quiet. While still kissing they moved from the corridor to her bedroom. He pushed her on her bed and laid on top of her. She moaned, feeling his weight on her and grabbed him by his hoodie to kiss him hard. He didn’t remember her being this rough but they both were pretty drunk. And hadn’t seen each other for some time.

He was kissing her lips, her neck. She was more responsive than ever. He grabbed one of her breasts and he heard her, her soft voice. He knew she liked it but something seemed off. He moved lower, unbuttoned her shirt, almost ripped it off. She was wearing a simple, white bra, her nipples were visible through the thin material. He dragged it down exposing her small boobs. She was shivering, it was chilly in the room. Something was not right, again.

He felt her small hands on his chest. She was touching him under his hoodie and T-shirt. He took one of her nipples into his mouth, sucking and adding his tongue. He knew he was doing good, she was feeling good. But he was not.

One of her hands sneaked lower and she unzipped his pants in a rush, quickly shoving her hand in to grab and pull him out. The moment he’d felt her fingers on his half hard cock, he stopped her.

“No wait… I can’t.”, his voice was lower than ever, he hid his face in her neck.

She withdrew her hand, but they both stayed in their places. He was breathing hard, still turned on but freaked out at the same time. He’d thought he wanted that. His body was telling him he wanted that. His dick was screaming at him to shut the fuck up and fuck her. But his mind was adamant. This was not right.

“I’m sorry.”, he slightly lifted his head and looked at her.

“Is it… her?”

Ugh, she cracked him almost in no time. It was just too obvious.

“I know I’m not with her, because… she doesn’t want me... but I feel like I’m cheating on her.”

“How can you cheat on her when she’s not even your girlfriend?”

“I think… it’s because I am supposed to be with her… Agh, it doesn’t make any sense…”

Joon slowly moved from Soomi and sat on the edge of the bed. He was still dizzy because of the alcohol, his moment of sanity was something he had not expected. He was super confused.

“So, now I’m the other woman? You’re making me be the bad one.”

“I’m not making you anything.”, he wiped his face with his palms, he needed some water.

He stood up from the bed. His pants slipped down his hips so he quickly pulled them up and zipped his fly. He didn’t know what to do next. He wanted to leave, he was starting to feel embarrassed about what had happened. The moment was over and he knew there was no way he would actually have sex with her.

He pretended he was fixing more of his clothes and moved to open the door. He didn’t want to talk, there was not much to talk about.

“You’re leaving?”, she sat on the bed.

“I think that’s for the best…”, he didn’t want to look at her either.

“You’re choosing her over me, again.”

Joon did not believe she’d just said that. He stopped in his tracks and looked at her.

“So now you’re cheating on her with your girlfriend…”

“You’re not my girlfriend.”

“You know what I mean.”

“No, I think I don’t. You’re actually calling yourself my girlfriend, but you’re not.”

“But I am your ex-girlfriend, we used to be together. She was never with you, you barely went out once…”

“Are you being serious right now? Are you hearing the words you’re saying?”

“You’ve already left me for her once…”

“I remember it completely differently.”

“And I remember being pushed away, feeling being left out and not needed anymore.”

He almost got a hiccup trying to suppress his scream.

“I have never pushed you away, what the hell are you talking about?”

“You got your soulmate mark, you had your soulmate, you didn’t need me anymore!”

“Wha-How… what the fuck?!”, he wasn’t able to collect all of his thoughts.

She stood up from the bed, not caring much about her still naked chest. Joon was so pissed already he’d barely noticed that. All he could process were her lies and her gaslighting him.

“You left me, OK? You broke my heart, you’re not the one who’s hurting here!”

“You think it was easy for me to leave you?!”

“You think it was easy for me to get back TO AN EMPTY HOME?! No explanation, nothing!”

“I didn’t…!”

“You left me like I’d meant nothing to you! Like our three year relationship was nothing!”

“What was I supposed to do?! You had a soulmate mark, you were hiding it from me!”

“Like I could do anything about that! I didn’t ask for it, I had no control over it!”

“So, you would have stayed with me, despite your soulmate mark?”

“Yes.”

Joon did not hesitate with his answer. If she’d never left, if she’d stayed with him, he would have never left her. He was absolutely sure about that. Joon from the past had known that it had been the right way. For him. For both of them. And he wouldn’t have regretted that.

But Joon from the past had not been abandoned from day to day and heart broken. He hadn’t had to come back to his apartment half empty, not knowing the reason of it and being disposed of without an explanation. He’d had to deal with that on a daily basis and at some point just move on. It had been so fucking hard for him. For a long time he hadn’t understood why all of that had happened to him, why he had had to go through all of that.

He had never found the answers to those questions but luckily, he didn’t have to anymore.

“You didn’t give me a chance…”

He left her room and her apartment before she even said anything. He was jumping down the stairs, adrenaline was still stoking in him. Maybe he had said too much, maybe he should have left some things to himself. But it was too late and he didn’t regret that. He’d meant all of that, he was honest with her and with himself. He wanted her to know, he wanted finally to close that chapter. And for that he needed to do even more.

Joon was done. So done. He was done with all that bullshit around him. And with your attitude. Soomi was right about one thing. He was in love with you. He was fucking in love with you! And he didn’t want to give up on you. Being with his ex-girlfriend yet again, had reminded him how he’d been with you. All those odd feelings when he was touching Soomi was his subconscious telling him to stop and get back to you. He had to. He wanted to. He knew he would have to work hard to make you understand how important you were for him and that he was there for you.

So, he made up his mind.

—----

First thing he did on Monday when he’d come to the office was ask Kate to talk with him. He took her to the conference room, saying he wanted to talk in private. She dropped everything, telling her coworkers it was important and followed him. When they got inside she sat at the table, feeling pretty excited. It’d been two weeks since their date and she was certain that was the reason Joon’d asked her to talk. About them dating.

He closed the door behind him and stood next to the table. He wasn’t sure how to start. The decisions had been made, but he was pretty certain sharing them would not be easy. He leaned his palms on one of the chairs and took a breath.

“I wanted to talk to you to apologize.”

Kate was definitely taken aback.

“Apologize? For what?”

“I… you… we can’t date anymore. I’m sorry.”

“We-what? But why?”

“It’s my fault. I should have never agreed to that. I am really sorry.”

“But our date was so good!”

Joon looked at her with eyes wide open.

“You think our date was good?”

“Yes! I had such a great time! And you were true gentlemen. Just like I knew you were!”, she clapped her hands with enthusiasm. “You even walked me home and didn’t try to kiss me.”

“And… that’s good?”, Joon was not following.

“It was so romantic! I was really hoping for the second one. Maybe we could go…”

“Um, no. I am sorry Kate, but there won’t be a second date. This is what I am trying to tell you.”

“I don’t understand. What did I do wrong?”

Joon knew that even though the date was awful for him and that Kate had turned out to be the last person he would like to be with, he was breaking up because of a different reason.

“It’s not about what you did but the fact that…”

It was easier just to show and go from there. Joon sighed again. He rolled up the sleeve of his hoodie and simply showed her his soulmate mark. Since he’d stopped hiding it and he’d accepted it fully, he didn’t have any problems with showing it to other people.

He also really liked it. The pattern, size, all shades of black. He’d gotten used to it and was cherishing it. Especially after it had gotten so big after your night together. He would have never thought it would be like that.

Kate was looking at his forearm, understanding from the beginning what she was looking at. Why did he have a soulmate mark?

She’d been crushing over him for a long time. Probably from the moment they had met for the first time. He was so kind, nice and had the cutest smile. She’d quickly found out he’d been dating someone and it had been something serious. At that point she had known she couldn’t have done anything. His girlfriend had not been working with them, she’d had no idea who she was. Sure, she’d been jealous. In her mind Joon was perfect for her.

Then the information about him being single again had dropped. She still had no idea what had happened but she’d been waiting patiently for a moment to talk with him. She used her trip to clear her mind and gather some courage to finally ask him out.

And now she was finding out Joon already had a soulmate. And by looking the size of his soulmate mark, they’d found each other.

“That’s a soulmate mark.”

“It is.”

“Have you… found her?”

“Yes, we know each other.”

“Who is she? It’s a “she”, right?”

“Yes, it’s a woman, I’m not gay.”

“Do I know her?”

“It doesn’t matter.”, Joon covered his forearm, pulled out the chair in front of him and sat down. “See… she doesn’t want me. We’ve been struggling from day one and I did something stupid. She rejected me for the hundredth time, so I wanted to make her jealous.”

Joon knew he should feel embarrassed. About what he had done and how he had used Kate in this stupid game of jealousy. But he’d thought about that and didn’t regret anything. He hadn’t wanted to hurt her but everything that had happened led him to that point. To the point where he knew what he should do next. He was ready for any punishment the universe had for him. He was ready for Kate hating him, screaming at him, calling him the worst possible words. He knew she would be right. And she had a right to do that.

“Our date was more of a fake one and I feel bad that I hurt your feelings. I am the asshole here, you have all the rights to hate me.”

Kate had a lot of new information to accept. Joon had a soulmate but she’d rejected him? And apparently he was still after her. None of that made sense.

Her sight was glued to the table. Her mind was going places, trying to assimilate everything that she had heard. It’d been just one date but Joon had broken her heart. She was trying not to burst into tears in front of him. She didn’t want to hate him, she wanted to forget about everything, about his soulmate mark and get back to that second date. She’d invested too much in getting him to the first one.

Joon had said everything he wanted. He clearly saw she had problems with his words but he’d made up his mind and was sure about his next steps. He didn’t know how to make her feel better, dating was out of the options, so he stood up and just left the conference room. Their conversation was as awkward as he’d been predicting. But it was over.

The second thing he did was more complicated. He was no longer mad at you. Yes you’d broken his heart many times and he didn’t know why but he wanted to be there. He wanted to be there for you. He couldn’t see himself with someone else other than you. So, he had to accept that you were a stubborn little piece of shit and go with that.

It had been a busy week for you, so you decided to take some overtime to catch up on some work. You didn’t ask anyone from your team to stay with you, it was your idea. When Joon was going home he saw you still sitting at your desk, fully invested with what you were doing. He came to you and looked at your computer screen.

“Are you not going home today or what?”

“Not for now. I’m staying today, want to finish this before tomorrow’s meeting.”

“Are you serious? This can wait. You don’t need to ruin your evening.”

“It’s fine. I don’t have any plans.”

You half smiled at him and went back to your work. Joon realized you were going to stay alone at the office until late and quickly decided to stay with you. Just because.

He didn’t say anything. He went to his desk and turned his computer on. He sat on his chair and rolled to your place, stopping right next to you and looking back at your screen.

“What is happening? Are you not leaving?”, you asked.

“Not before you.”

“What? I didn’t ask you to stay! You can go!”

“Fuck you. I think I’ve already told you we’re in this together. Now, let me help you so we both finish this much quicker.”

You had no idea what more to say. Joon rolled his chair closer and simply refused to go anywhere. You had no other choice but to accept his help. On some level you were happy he’d stayed with you. You didn’t want to admit that but you wanted him to be with you, to spend more time with you. You missed him.

So, you both sat down. Obviously his presence was a great help, everything was going much faster. You were grateful he'd decided to stay with you. But you were sitting in your seat, in silence, just murmuring simple “thankyous” whenever there was a chance. You were too scared to start any conversation, not knowing how to talk to him anymore. But he was acting so friendly, like you’d never seen each other naked and you hadn’t broken his heart. Was he still thinking about you? All you could give from yourself was asking simply: “What’s up?”.

Joon went quiet for a moment, thinking about something.

“I almost slept with my ex.”

“What? How did that happen?”, you did not expect that.

“Same old story. We were drunk and stupid. But… not in love anymore.”

“So, that stopped you?”

“Yeah, I couldn’t do it.”

“You couldn’t get a hard on?”

Joon moved closer on his chair. His elbow bumped into yours.

“We both know that’s not the case.”, he looked at you with a smirk on his lips.

You felt your cheeks getting hot and red. You cleared your throat.

“If you were trying to make me embarrassed or blushing, you need to try harder.”

You were still feeling hot, you fixed the collar of your hoodie, suddenly needing more air. You broke eye contact for a few seconds, but you looked back at him a moment later. He didn’t move away but he was already looking at the computer screen, focused on your work. He was joking around so easily, feeling comfortable with you.

“Joon, are you demisexual?”, your temporary courage asked that question.

He raised his eyebrows hearing you. Your words got him thinking, he was still busy doing something though.

“Why would you say that?”

“You need love to have sex with someone. Have you done that only with someone who you had feelings for?”

He didn’t respond at first. His hands froze over the keyboard, your question took him off guard. Answering to that would only lead to his confession, to admitting he had feelings for you. You might have not thought that through because you were still looking at him, oblivious to the consequences of your curiosity.

“Yeah, I think that’s the case.”

He looked at you saying those words, half smiling, a little embarrassed, a little scared.

At first you didn’t understand what he actually had said to you. You were still fixated at the fact that he hadn’t slept with his ex-girlfriend because of lack of feelings. He had been so depressed when she had left him, he must have been thinking about getting back together with her. A lot of things must have happened since he’d rejected her after all.

His eyes were piercing you through when it hit you. A hot feeling flushed through your entire body, making your heart beat faster, when a sudden realization opened your mind. He’d rejected her but he’d slept with you.

You averted your eyes, not being ready for the full meaning of that. You tried to find yourself busy with absolutely anything just to stop your head spinning. He was not in love with you, he was not in love with you, he was not in love with you!

Joon saw how his answer had made you uncomfortable. He knew it might happen. He wanted to tell you that, he wanted to tell you more and then kiss you senseless, until you both would drop to the floor. But you were still not ready. It was so frustrating, why wouldn’t you just finally let go, like he’d asked you a million times and… and what? Fall in love with him? He couldn’t force you on that but he was suspecting he was not indifferent to you as well. He just had no idea how to get to you.

He changed the subject. He wanted to spend that evening peacefully, without you arguing with him. He also wanted to spend it with you, even if it was at work, in front of your computer, doing a boring work assignment. And when he checked what you actually were supposed to do, he knew it was going to be a long evening.

After a few hours, It was getting late and you were barely halfway done. Joon stretched in his seat, yawning, feeling stiff. He stood up from his chair and started to walk around your desk to make blood flow back into his legs. He stopped after a few rounds and leaned between your computer screens.

“I’m hungry. I’m going to grab something to eat. What should I get for you?”

“Oh, you don’t need to do that.”

“We’ve been here for hours, we need to eat.”, Joon straightened up and took his jacket and backpack from his desk.

“That’s OK... “

“Tell me or I’ll buy the first thing I see and you will have to eat it.”

“I’m good, it’s fine!”

Joon put on his jacket and just stood in front of your desk, looking at you with zero expression. He did not intend to leave before you would tell him what he should buy for you. You sighed.

“FINE! Whatever you’re having but not spicy. Or with olives!”

“Good.”, Joon smiled at you. “This is good. See, now I know more about you. I know you don’t like spicy food. And olives.”

You didn’t know how to respond to that so you just waved at him so he could finally leave. He narrowed his eyes, trying to find a good remark to your actions but he changed his mind and just left.

He came back with two pizzas. He’d figured it out they were a safe choice, everyone loved pizza. He moved your keyboard to put them on your desk and to force you to actually have a break from work. You were always hard working but this time you were definitely overworking yourself. He decided there and then that he would be the one to drag you away from your pc and help you rest. That was at least what he could do.

When you finished eating, he took the empty boxes and threw them away. He also looked for some napkins in the kitchen but they were completely gone. He told you he would look on a different floor and went down to the other part of your office. It took him some time looking through all the cabinets but he finally found some. He also noticed they were not the only people at the company doing overtime. But since they were not working together and you were alone on your floor, he quickly evacuated, avoiding any possible chit chat.

He came back to your desk and to his zero surprise you’d fallen asleep. You’d rested your head on your arms, wrapped together on your desk. You must have been absolutely exhausted.

Joon slightly shook your arm to wake you up. You mumbled something under your breath but you lifted your head up. You had a red imprint of your hand on your cheek. You looked surprised, like you hadn’t expected to be woken up.

You looked at Joon and shook your head.

“I was not sleeping.”

“You have a weird habit of denying reality, don’t you?”

“I just let my eyes rest a bit.”

“Yes and I only hide my food for later why I’m eating it.”

You snorted at his words and leaned back in your chair.

You still had to wait another hour and it was getting really late. When the clock showed 1AM, Joon made a decision. He simply turned off your computer, computer screen, then his and dragged you to the elevator. You were too tired to oppose.

He went with you to your metro station to make sure you were safe and sound. He even wanted to go with you, so you wouldn’t have to go alone home at that hour. But then he felt your head bumping into his shoulder. He took a glimpse and realized you’d fallen asleep again, leaning against him. He knew you were really tired but he had to admit you looked cute.

He let you sleep like that until your train came. But he realized he wasn’t able to wake you up. He quickly picked you up bridal style and ran for the metro. He put you on the seat next to him, still having one arm wrapped around you in case you fell down. You were mumbling through your sleep, nothing specific, just gibberish.

Joon didn’t want to leave you like that. You were too exhausted and he would be worried about you too much. He quickly changed his plan. At the next station he picked you up again and left the train. He caught a taxi and gave the driver his address. He was not leaving you alone. During your ride you did not wake up at any point. He was doing everything so you would feel comfortable.

When he finally reached his apartment, he put you in his bed. He decided not to take any of your clothes, even though he was fully aware you were not completely comfortable in them. But the idea of struggling with your pants while you were basically unconscious was unbearable to him. He’d chosen lesser evil. As for him, he took off his clothes, left boxer shorts only and laid next to you. You were fully asleep, didn’t react to any of his movements. He covered both of you with a comforter and went to sleep.

It was still dark when you woke up. You were feeling warm and slightly uncomfortable. You opened your eyes, not seeing much. It was dark in the room. You turned your head and saw Joon sleeping right next to you. His face was nuzzled in the pillow, lips parted. For a change he was not snoring.

Gently, you left the bed and stretched your body. You remembered going home with Joon. You figured it out you must have fallen asleep on the way and he just had taken you to his place. You sighed. How come things like that had become normal to you?

You unzipped your pants and took them off. After a short thinking, you also took off your hoodie, staying in your T-shirt. You still had a few good hours of sleep ahead. You wanted to spend them properly. Feeling much better without tight material hugging your body you came back to the bed. You did everything not to wake Joon up. You just wanted to go back to sleep.

You laid back on your previous spot. Joon was right where you had left him. He looked very peaceful, happy even. You had to admit he looked really pretty like that.

His arm moved when you were too distracted to actually do something. He wrapped it around you and pulled you close to him. As close as possible. His face landed right between your boobs, you heard him inhaling loudly.

But he was still asleep. He did that while sleeping and probably was not aware of anything of that.

You weren’t able to move. His tight embrace did not leave you any space. You were pretty sure you would lose feeling in one of your hands if you stayed in that position.

“Joon”, you shook him by his arm. “Joon, wake up!”

You heard him mumbling something, he was waking up. He opened his eyes. You were certain he would feel embarrassed after realizing what he had been doing and that his nose had been nuzzled between your breasts. But he did not. He slightly moved away, he let you go, but stayed close to you. Much closer than he had been before, while sleeping.

He looked at you with eyes half opened.

“Why did you wake me up?”, he sighed.

“You were feeling me up during your sleep! And I was barely able to move.”

“I had such a nice dream.”

“Well, cry me a river. I need to breathe.”

Joon yawned. His eyes were half opened but fully on you.

“What was your dream about?”

“I’m not gonna tell you. Because you woke me up.”

You huffed at his words. Joon really knew how to be annoying and still cute at the same time. You were trying to get used to that.

He hadn’t answered your question, his sight was glued to you the whole time. He reached out to you and gently touched your cheek. At first you wanted to move away, but his touch was so soft, you enjoyed that. So instead of slapping his hand away, you were laying in place and looking into his dark eyes.

Then Joon realized something.

“You were awake… Did I wake you up?”

“No. I woke up earlier on my own.”

“I know I snore sometimes…”

“You do. But today was fine.”

“I’m sorry.”

“For what?”

“For feeling you up while being asleep.”

You snorted at his words.

“You put your face in my boobs.”

Joon quickly took a glimpse over said part of your body.

“You do have nice boobs.”

“I know that.”

“We both know that.”

Joon was so close to you. Suddenly you felt much warmer than before. Laying with him under one cover, in his bed, realization hit you hard with a heat wave. You were warming up despite lacking part of your clothes.

“Thank you for taking care of me when I fell asleep on my way home.”

“I was scared you would fall asleep again, being on your own.”

“I was so tired.”, you closed your eyes for a moment. He was making your heart beat faster.

“I’m sorry I put you into bed with your clothes on. I bet it was not comfortable.”

“It’s better now,”

“Did you wake up to take them off?”, he slightly lifted the comforter up, but it was too dark for him to see anything.

“Only my pants and hoodie.”

He was still checking your current outfit, though. When he finally left the cover, you opened your eyes and looked at him.

“I am yet again in your bed in my underwear.”

“Well, you’ve been here before without it…”, his words had a strong effect on you.

You were blushing all over again, like you’d never been in a bed with him or he’d never said anything like that before. He seemed to always know what to do or to say to make you flustered. His lips were so close to yours. You still remembered how he’d kiss you last time. He moved closer to you, you’d thought that was impossible, you were already feeling his breath on your face. Your already hot and red face. You scolded yourself for feeling this shy with a guy you’d already been with. He kissed you. It was a gentle, subtle kiss. Like he wasn't sure if you were about to reciprocate it or kick his ass for trying anything. But your lips moved with his, you deepened the kiss. You heard him taking a deep breath, his hand brushed your neck and cupped your cheek. He was kissing you tenderly, his tongue was pushing through your lips, trying to get inside. He was gentle with you but still was getting more and more excited, you were feeling that in his movements. A moment ago he’d been sleeping, deep dreaming about something. He hadn’t needed much to wake up and put his hands on you.

He gently pushed you to your back, following your movement and laying on top of you. He nestled between your legs, you felt his dick on you. He was barely half hard, he started to slowly grind on you. You moaned when he brushed over your clothed clit, you knew you were getting wetter and wetter with each passing moment.

“You know…”, he said between kisses. “Last time you left before I woke up and you deprived me of my breakfast.”

You broke the kiss, completely taken off guard. You’d forgotten about that. When you’d been leaving last time you’d thought you would never find yourself in a situation like that ever again. That you would never be with him in bed, having sex. But Joon was still thinking about it.

“Do you still want it?”

He asked like he knew you’d wanted him to do that back then. He asked you, giving you a clear sign he wanted to please you. He asked, because even though he wanted to taste you so bad and it was all about you, he needed your approval, your consent. How could you say “No” to that?

You felt how dry your throat was. You knew your voice would betray you if you said something. You swallowed hard, while looking into his eyes.

“Yes, I want it…”

When he heard your words he smiled. He simply smiled with a genuine smile at you. He was glad you’d agreed and he could make you feel good. The tip of tongue picked out between his lips. How can someone be that cute while asking you to eat you out?

His lips were back on yours, biting your lower one, moving to your jaw and neck. He was going lower with each wet kiss, licking your skin. One of his hands grabbed your breast through your T-shirt, reminding him how they actually felt. He was thinking about undressing you completely, having you naked right beneath him but he was too impatient. He only uncovered your belly, kissing it as well, holding you by your waist.

You were already excited. Seeing him going down your body, knowing very well what he was about to do was enough for you to feel gathering wetness between your legs. Last time it was only his tongue that hadn’t landed there.

He hooked his fingers over the hem of your panties. He slid them off only a little, just to kiss your pubic mound. You were already breathing hard. If Joon was not in his spot, you would press your thighs to ease the tension, to feel something. He felt you shifting, your legs closing around him. He knew you were getting anxious. He smiled to himself, proud of how easy it was for him to make you be in that state.

“Someone’s really needy.”

You groaned in your throat and covered your face with your arm. It made him chuckle, how you were still trying to hide how you were feeling from him.

He kissed your skin one last time and then pulled up on his arms. He pushed your legs together, grabbed your underwear and slid it down your thighs and calves. He dropped it on the floor, not even paying attention how wet they were and quickly spread your legs to be back between them again. Last time you were with him he hadn’t had a chance to see you up close. You were so pretty like that, laying on his bed, spread right in front of him. His face was right in front of your core, he could easily smell you. He was ready to taste you, give you what you wanted and what he’d been wanting for a long time. But before you felt his tongue on you, he shuffled in his spot, massaged your inner thigh but did not go further.

“Can we… Can we do this the other way? Can you turn around on your fours?”

His face was slightly pink when he expressed his desire but he was certain with his request. He wanted to eat you out from behind, like he actually had fantasized about.

He crawled from between your legs yet again to let you turn around. You first laid on your stomach, your T-shirt railed up your upper body, your underboob became visible. Joon licked his lips at the sight. You tried to fix your clothes but you felt his hands on your back. He slowly moved them up, with your T-shirt hooked up on his wrists, exposing your body more. Your hard nipples brushed on the bed sheet, you were starting to feel embarrassed. So exposed, completely at his mercy.

Joon kissed your upper back, his hands were on your waist. He was kissing his way down your spine, reaching your ass. His fingers dug into your flesh and pulled your hips up. You moaned quietly, knowing very well he definitely could see how wet you were. Your ass was all the way up, you arched your back as much as you could, having your shoulders still on the mattress. Joon was massaging your butt cheeks, spreading them gently to see your wet pussy. He hummed at the sight, getting ready to finally taste you. One of his fingers drugged along your slit, making your hips to jolt at the touch, you hid your face in the pillow.

“Baby, you’re already wet. I think you’re as excited as I am.”

And he really was. His hard dick was an obvious proof. He was already hard for you having such a beautiful sight right in front of him. He palmed himself a little through his boxer shorts, he wanted to fully focus on you but his mind was a little hazy.

”Let’s rile you up a bit more.”

He slightly pushed your legs to both sides, giving him even easier access to your center. His fingers were brushing over your slit, giving not enough pressure for you to feel something more than excitement. His touch on you was very much welcomed but not enough to feel pleasure. So he pushed a little more, wetting his fingers. He found your clit and started to circle it, immediately dragging sweet moans from you. Your hips moved when you felt the long desired bliss but he grabbed your ass to have you still. He moved that hand down your body to find your naked breast. He was able to touch you the way he wanted to, he could do so many things to you. He swallowed hard when his clothed cock brushed your thigh.

Feeling you starting to drip all over his hand he took it away. He licked his finger, your taste attacked his taste buds, making him groan. He wanted to taste you now!

He laid down on his stomach, wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you closer to him. Your pussy was right in front of his face. He didn’t want to wait any longer. He took a long stripe along your slit. Oh, fuck, you tasted so good. Better than he had ever expected. His dick twitched at the feeling, trying to remind him he was all hard and leaking already. His boxer shorts were definitely ruined. He rocked his hips into the mattress, trying to fool himself that it was enough and focused back on you. He dived in again, finding your clit and giving it kitten licks. You were responding immediately, moaning into your pillow. His tongue was so soft and knew exactly where to touch you and how to do that. He was licking you with the exact amount of pressure to make you feel good but not to cum too fast. The known feeling in your belly was building up, steady and slowly. He put his tongue flat on you focusing on your sensitive nub, making you roll your hips on his face. He was moaning and breathing hard with you, enjoying every part of it. Your taste, your smell, your movements and every sound you made.

You felt his tongue slipping inside you, shy like he wasn’t certain it was a good idea. He was tasting inside of you, getting your juices all over his tongue. It still excited him, being with you like that. With his finger he started to circle your clit, making sure you won’t lose your builded up high. Feeling that, both stimulation provided by him made you grip the bed sheet tight, your moan got stuck in your throat. With his free hand, Joon massaged your butt cheek and hips. He moved it down to your lower back, enjoying the curve of your body. He felt how strong you were pressing your arm to your body. He touched your elbow, you almost jumped surprised feeling him there. But you straighten your arm, reaching out to him. He grabbed it immediately, intertwining your fingers. For that moment, you could swear it was the most intimate moment with someone in your whole life.

Joon had to stop for a moment. He was breathing hard, you could easily hear him, his hot breath was right on your core. You didn’t ask him what was the reason for his break, your head was spinning. You were so close you weren’t able to create a coherent sentence. You both were near going insane. You took your hand away, fixing your hair that was in your eyes. For a moment you felt how hot and steamy it was in his bedroom.

Before you took another breath his tongue was back on you. He put it flat right back on your clit, moving it up and down. You were already shaking and he knew you were getting close. He wanted you to come like this. With his face buried into you, your ass up, screaming in his pillow. His finger found your entrance, wet with your own juices and his saliva. He pushed it inside, feeling your warm walls around it. His eyes rolled back to his skull, he remembered how you’d clenched on his dick like that. You were so wet, so soft and tight. He was pumping his finger in and out of you, adding another one, stretching you more. You took them with an ease, it was still less than his cock. His neglected cock caved between his stomach and a mattress. He was scared to move his body, not trusting its reflexes.

Your moans were getting higher, he felt on his finger how you were starting to clench with each of his thrusts. You were cumming having them inside you. He didn’t stop with anything he was doing. He pressed his tongue one last time and the coil in your belly snapped, with an orgasm washing all over you. Your hips betrayed you and with an impulse they wanted to move away from his face. But his grip was still firm on you, he was holding you right in place, riding out your high until you became sensitive.

He felt how wet his boxer shorts had become. He was shaking with you, dragging your orgasm out of you. He took out his fingers, wet and sticky and moved away from you. He couldn’t catch his breath, he definitely had gone insane. This was all too overwhelming.

You dropped your hips back on the bed, spent and used in his own way. You were feeling more than satisfied and you loved that feeling. Joon laid next to you, his face was pink from the whole excitement and effort, his lips still wet from you.

“What about you?”, you breathed out.

“Ah, I-I think I turned into 16-years-old-me. I kinda embarrassed myself.”

You looked down at him. You saw a wet patch on his boxer shorts.

“You cumed in your underwear?”

He bit his lower lip while chuckling to hide his embarrassment.

“This was all too hot. Seeing you like this made me go crazy. I was fantasizing about this before but have never thought it would be this good.”

„Really?”

„That’s gonna be my favorite view in the whole world.”

He wanted to lay like that and look at you the whole night. You looked so pretty wearing only your crumpled T-shirt. He could still see your naked but cheeks. But his boxer shorts were starting to annoy him. They stuck to him, to his dick and it was uncomfortable.

He sat up and left the bed. He went to the bathroom to leave his underwear in the laundry basket and clean himself up. He came back wearing gray sweatpants, still shirtless. But he was also holding something in his hand. When he was under the comforter again he gave you a Ryan plushie. The same one that you’d slept with the first time you’d been at Joon’s place and the same one he’d taken away from you.

“You liked sleeping with him. I left him on the couch after that night but I thought you might want him back.”

“I guess my smart move of throwing the lion on the floor did not mislead you.”

“I was surprised to see Ryan flying, lions don’t fly.”

“I will never accept the fact that this is a lion.”

The whole gesture was so cute you couldn't stop smiling. It was hard to believe the same guy who’d eaten you out like a starved man 10 minutes ago was the same one who’d brought you a cute plushie to sleep with. Joon was really full of surprises.

You hugged the toy, which made him happy and laid down on your pillow.

“What time is it?”, you asked quietly.

“It’s 4AM. We still have plenty of time. Let’s go back to sleep.”

He laid right back in his spot, facing you.

“Goodnight.”

You both fell asleep quickly, feeling peaceful and satisfied.

—----

The moment he woke up, he reached to you just to find your place in the bed was empty. His eyes went shut open. He’d been really hoping to wake up next to you this time. Last night had been very special, he really had felt you both had gotten a connection. And yet you’d run away again, leaving him alone in his bed. He sighed heavily, running his opened palm on the bed sheet. Your place was cold, like you’d hadn’t slept there anyway. Only Ryan was left on your pillow.

But then he heard you. Or more like he heard running water in his bathroom. Someone was taking a shower and the only option for that someone was you. He almost jumped out of his bed. Maybe you hadn’t left him, yet.

He opened the door and he was right. You were taking a shower, he recognized you even though your figure was slightly deformed because of the smoked glass. But he had no doubt it was you.

“Joon?!”

Oh gods, it was you. You were still there with him.

“What is it?”, he played it cool.

“What the-Can I at least take a shower? What are you doing here?”

“It’s my bathroom.”

“Yeah, but I am using it!”

“I’m not stopping you in any way!”

You huffed at his response. You opened the shower and peaked through the door. Joon was standing there, brushing his teeth. He raised his eyebrows on you, curious what you were going to do next. You looked around the bathroom and noticed you’d left a clean towel on the toilet which was too far away if you didn’t want to walk around naked. You sighed.

“Can you give me that towel?”

He complied without saying anything, carefully watching you all the time. You wrapped yourself with the towel and then left the shower.

“I’ve already seen you naked. You don’t need to act like this.”

You looked at him, not liking him pointing out the obvious. Sure he was right, but so what?

You wanted to say something, you wanted to bark a sharp remark, but nothing good enough was coming up to your mind. So, instead of that you looked him in the eyes and dropped your towel on the floor, which made you stand completely naked right in front of him. Joon stopped whatever he was doing and did everything to maintain eye contact. He tightened his grip on his toothbrush.

“Could I borrow some clothes from you?”

“Of course you can.”, he answered after spitting out toothpaste to the sink.

And with that he dropped his pants, not having any underwear beneath and gave them to you. You both were standing naked in front of each other, playing the same game. None of you was willing to lose.

You took his pants and put them on. They were too big for you but you actually had no other options. You were still shirtless though. Joon rinsed his mouth and dried his face with a towel. He smirked at you and left the bathroom for a moment. He came back, to your disappointment, wearing black sweatpants. He also brought one of his T-shirts for you. When you put it on you were completely and absolutely swallowed up by his clothes. You looked like you’d shrunk during your shower and now nothing was suiting you. But everything that you were wearing was clean so simply smiled at him with a teeth smile. Joon snorted at you and rolled his eyes.

You both went to the kitchen, or more like you just followed him, since he’d left the bathroom after he’d dressed you. You were trying not to trip over long pant legs. You tightened the waist of sweatpants to not lose them while walking.

“You know what feels weird?”, you asked.

“Only one thing?”

“This doesn’t feel weird. Me staying at your place, us talking like this…”

“What?”, he turned around to face you. “This is super weird! This is not how it is supposed to be! This is fucking difficult and you have no idea how much!”

His outburst surprised you. You froze in place hearing his words.

But he was right, you had to admit that. Even though both of you, somehow, had gotten used to those situations, there was still a weird tension between you two. You’d decided to ignore it, accept it that it was there and live your life. Joon however seemed to have problems with it.

You took a step back, which made him raise his eyebrow. You were backing up, again.

“I think you’re right. I should go now...”, you felt like an idiot because of your earlier words.

“NO! You should stay! We should be together, eat breakfast together, we should fuck in the morning! And you should wear my clothes because you look ridiculous.”

You felt your face getting all red.

“We should fuck?”

“That’s all you’ve heard?”, Joon snorted.

Joon rolled his eyes. Why was it so fucking hard? He hid his face in his palms, trying to calm down. Dealing with you was a real life roller coaster.

“Why are you still doing this? Why do we keep coming back to the same spot after we had an intimate or private moment? You keep pushing me away over and over again! Why?”

“Joon, why do you care, anyway?”

“OK, don’t play stupid on me, this is not going to work. You know very well why.”

Did you? You’d been repressing that thought for such a long time. Probably from the whole beginning, when you’d discovered who your soulmate was. You’d been too scared, too stubborn, too much convinced you’d been doing the right thing running away. It had been working out for you. Or at least you’d thought that.

Joon had been sabotaging your doings that whole time and it’d been making everything much harder. You were still trying to crack him, to understand what was making him to be like that. The answer was actually simple, clear from the start. You just had to finally accept it.

You came closer to him. You stood next to the kitchen counter, wanted to have something to lean on. Your legs were slightly shaking, your emotions were waking up.

“You hated me. What changed?”

“What do you mean?”

“Do you think you really like me, have feelings for me? Or is it because of the mark? Maybe it makes you believe you like me, it’s pushing you towards me.”

“Are you scared my feelings for you aren’t real?”

“I’m scared none of this is real and we’re just not aware of that.”

“I think my mark doesn’t matter. I don’t think they affect our feelings. It’s true, I hated you. So much. But when I realized you are my soulmate I decided to give you a chance. Know you better. And I changed my mind about you.”

“You don’t hate me anymore?”

He stood right in front of you, pressing his palms on the kitchen counter on both of your sides.

“You are stubborn, you are a little piece of shit, you know how to get on my nerves and you are a little selfish in bed but… no, I don’t hate you.”

“Do you like me?”

“My ex-girlfriend told me I’m actually already in love with you.”

You looked at him with pure interest and curiosity.

“Are you?”

“Yes, yes I am.”

“Why?”

“You can’t ask me that, that’s not fair.”

“You had no problems with listing up what’s wrong with me…”

“OK, you shut up now.”, he covered your mouth with his palm.

He didn’t mean anything bad, he took it right away when he’d seen your annoyed expression. He looked down for a moment. You were finally getting somewhere, you were willing to talk everything through with him. He didn’t want to waste his chance. He looked back at you. He was just trying to understand you.

“Why are you so scared? What are you afraid of?”, he asked.

Your facial expression changed in a blink of an eye. You turned your sight away from him. Your eyes became watery, tears that you were not able to stop and the ones you hadn’t wanted to ever show him, had come out.

“I used to believe in love. Romantic love was the most important one for me. I always understood the idea of love between siblings, mother to child, between friends. But the romantic one was something I always dreamed of. I wanted it. So fucking bad.”

Joon was listening to you closely. You finally were opening to him, he didn’t want to scare you. His hand was on your arm, going up and down, trying to calm you, assure you he was there for you.

“But I’ve never found it. I got bitter. I hated the whole concept of love. And the idea of having a soulmate was repulsive to me. Like, just because someone has a stupid mark like me means he’s perfect for me, that he loves me and won’t leave me? That this is certain and meant to be? After all those years of looking for love? That can’t be true…”

A tear escaped your eye, went all the way down your cheek. Joon reached out and gathered it with his thumb. Without hesitation you grabbed his hand and pulled closer to your face. It was warm, his touch was making you shiver. More tears started to come out.

“I’m scared this won’t work out.”, your lips were trembling.

“Why?”

“Just because we’re soulmates, that doesn’t mean we are meant to grow old together…”

“This actually means exactly that…”, he chuckled, his face was right in front of yours. His nose poked into yours.

“Ugh, why is it so hard talking to you? Why can't you just… accept what I’m saying?”

“Because you’re talking nonsense.”

You huffed and looked away. You were still pretty convinced with your rights. Joon was having none of it. He was done with chasing after you. He gently turned your face towards him.

“If we don’t try, we won’t know. If we don’t ask, the answer is always “No”. We’re not together, so it won’t work out for 100%. Nothing will change. But if we try, if we do this… there is a big chance we’re gonna be happy.”

“I’d really like that. I want to be happy.”

“Me too. I want to be happy with you.”

He was already kissing you saying his last words. He wrapped his arms around and pulled you close to him. He wanted you to stay, to never run away again. Everything he’d said to you was true and finally could get it out from his chest. And you kissed him back! His words had not scared you. Was this whole race, this game with cat and mouse finally over?

You broke the kiss gasping for some air. He was kissing you with such passion you had to lean his hand on his chest to fall over. Your legs were weak already, he was making you weak.

“So, you’re saying I’m selfish in bed?”

He bit his lower lip. He’d known this would drag your attention.

“Yeah, but that’s OK. You want stuff to be done to you and I… want to do so many things to you…”

He wrapped your legs around his waist and grabbed your ass to hold you in place. He was already moving towards his bedroom, wanting to toss you on the bed and do those things he’d mentioned before.

“Wait, we’re gonna be late for work…”, you stopped him for a moment.

“We’ll call in sick.”

“Both of us? That’s gonna be suspicious.”

“Are you kidding? People are still thinking we want to kill each other. Nobody would ever think we’re fucking like crazy teenagers.”

“And can we keep it that way?”

“You don’t want people to know about us?”

“Just for now.”

“Fine, but I cannot promise I would be able to keep my hands off of you the whole time.”

“There is a chance people wouldn’t believe their own eyes anyway…”

“Great!”

He didn't wait for you to say anything more. He tossed you slightly up to make sure he wouldn't drop you and went straight to his bedroom, from where you were not going to leave anytime soon.

-------

You moaned into his mouth. You had to be quiet, nobody could hear you. You knew you were alone but that could change any moment.

Joon kissed you, he held his left hand on your neck, keeping you close to him. His right hand was on your bare thigh, slowly sliding on your ass cheek. You moaned again when he grabbed you and pushed closer to his body. You wrapped your leg on his waist, your skirt was hiked up to yours. Cold bathroom tiles on the wall were like ice on your skin, when you were pressing your back to it.

He was deep inside of you, grinding on you, making you feel so good. You both had sneaked to the bathroom during your work break, making sure nobody had seen you going to the same place. You’d been dating for three weeks, still keeping it as a secret, you hadn’t told anyone. But it was so fucking hard for you to keep your hands of off each other. You were working together, seeing each other everyday and you had to pretend in front of everyone that for the past hour you hadn’t been sexting like a couple of horny teenagers.

He grabbed your breast covered with your blouse. You hadn’t taken off your clothes, you both were too horny. The moment Joon’s belt had hit the floor you’d felt him pushing your panties to the side and the tip of his dick brushing on your entrance. You had no idea who was more horny, that was probably unmeasurable.

You were getting close, the known coil in your belly was getting more and more ready to snap. Joon’s hips movements were getting faster, more sloppy. His pelvis was brushing on your clit, your nails were digging into his back. His face was nuzzled in your neck, hot breath on your skin giving you goosebumps.

“Baby, I’m so clo-ose.”, his voice cracked. You knew he wouldn’t last much longer.

He held you even tighter, pushing you on him, making him go deeper.

“It feels so good to be inside you… I think I’m going crazy…”, he was mumbling but his dirty talk was working on you.

You came a moment later, grabbing his pullover, digging your fingers into his flesh. To hold your moans you bit his neck, leaving a red mark with your teeth. Joon hissed at the pain but he was too occupied with his upcoming high. He groaned deep in his throat when he stopped moving, feeling his orgasm washing over him.

You stood like that for a second or two. Joon pulled up his head and looked at you. He was all blushed on the face, smiling and happy. He kissed you, gently, it was a completely different kiss than before.

“Sorry about that…”, you whispered, gently brushing your fingertips on your bite mark on his neck.

“Instead of being sorry, better make up a good excuse for this, because everybody will see how you marked me…”

He wasn’t angry and you knew that. He looked at you and bit his lower lip. He liked it.

“Now, I am really curious what you did to him, so you better come out.”

You both froze in place, not a single breath was breathed out. Joon was utterly scared and shocked. How on Earth had someone sneaked up on you? He covered your mouth, just to be sure you would be quiet.

“Not.A.Single.Word.”, he mouthed at you, but that was probably still too loud.

“I know you are there.”, she was not going to let that go.

Joon looked at you, with an unspoken question. He didn’t want to reveal your relationship and leave the bathroom stall for your coworker to see you together. But did you have a choice?

You dropped your leg on the floor, fixed your clothes to look more decent. Joon still had to put his pants on, he definitely didn’t want to leave butt naked. You decided to leave him to that and opened the door. You hadn’t recognized the voice before, you weren’t sure who was waiting for you next to the sinks. It turned out to be one of your teammates, Clara. You weren’t friends, you’d never met outside work time. But you knew her, she wasn’t a stranger to you.

When she saw you she was completely surprised. She would have never guessed you would do such a thing.

“Y/N… Holy shit… That was you?”

“I guess you didn’t expect me then…”

“No, not even a bit. But now I am even more curious who was there with you…”

You couldn’t blame her. Catching someone having sex at work was definitely something.

Joon opened the door and left the stall. He was still buckling up his belt, not caring much anymore. When Clara looked like she’d seen a ghost. Her mouth went open, eyes wider than ever.

“Aaah… Namjoon… what?”

“That’s my name, yes.”

“But… how… what?!”

Joon huffed. Clara was still processing the information, that the biggest work enemies were fucking in the work bathroom.

She cleared her throat, feeling stupid standing like that. Maybe there was an explanation for that?

“How… how did this happen? Are you guys dating?”

“Yes, we are.”

Joon put his arm around you and pulled you closer. He kissed you on the forehead. It was the first time he had ever done anything like that in public. Clara was the first person to find out about you. There was no reason to hide or pretend anything anymore.

“But… how? I mean… you are…”

Joon chuckled. He had to stop her before she would overheat her brain.

“I guess it’s better to show than explain.”

You knew what he had meant. Clara on the other hand did not. She panicked that you were going to do something obscene in front of her. But before she said anything, both of you rolled up your sleeves and showed her your soulmate marks. She was surprised yet again but when she understood what she was looking at, the whole situation started to make sense.

“So, you are your soulmates… You.”, she pointed at you. “And you!”, then at Joon.

“Pretty much.”

“Oh fuck this is a lot of new information… I mean, how? When did you find out? How long is this going?”

Joon covered up his forearm and rolled his eyes on her.

“OK, I think I will get back to work and leave you two to talk this over. I’m not needed here.”

“You’re running away, aren’t you?”

“Yes. Bye!”, he quickly kissed you and left the bathroom, before you said anything.

Clara was walking him by with her eyes. She still wasn’t sure it was Joon she was looking at. When he left, she looked back at you, a wide smile was forming on her face.

“You are fucking Namjoon?!”

“Could you scream any louder?”

“And you are his soulmate? HOLY FUCKING SHIT!”

“... I guess you can.”

“I mean, that’s great! Good for you! He’s hot! But… I actually thought he’s dating Kate from finances.”

“They went out once, I don’t think you can call that dating.”

“That’s not what I’ve heard… But I also thought you hated him.”

“I did. But things changed so much. We’ve been dating for a while now.”

“You look cute together. It’s a shame I had to find out about you like that, hearing you having sex…”

“Yes, I regret that too.”

“But you’re a couple. For how long?”

“Three weeks, I think.”

“And how come no one knows?”

“We’ve been keeping this as a secret.”

“Yes and fucking in a public place is perfect then!”

“Ugh, I know. This looks bad.”, you hid your face in your palms.

“I guess it’s still the honeymoon phase working for you.”

“I’ve never been in a relationship like that…”, you looked up at her. “Joon surprises me in everything.”

“So, you’re happy with him?

“Yes, so far everything it’s… just great.”

“So why is you dating him a secret?”

"It’s such a new situation for us, for me. Everyone knows we hate each other. I asked Joon to not tell anyone about this, at least for now. It’s still so fresh, I don’t want to fuck this up.”

“If I were you I would tell absolutely everyone.”

“Yeah, I think Joon would do the same.”

“You’re calling him Joon, that’s so sweet.”

You were surprised when she’d pointed that out. Joon had asked you to call him that and you’d already got used to it. You felt like you’d been caught doing something intimate. Your cheeks went pink, you hoped Joon wouldn’t care that Clara knew about that as well.

“Clara, can I ask you not to tell anyone about this?”

“You mean you dating Namjoon or you fucking Namjoon in the bathroom?”

“Both. I still don’t want people to know. At least for now.”

“Sure, your secret is safe with me.”

You sighed with relief. You still wanted to keep your relationship with Joon a secret until you would feel comfortable talking about it. There was no doubt the moment people found out about you they would ask tons of questions and make you the biggest story of the company.

“But you need to tell me one thing. What did you do to him back there?”

You froze in your spot, your face red and expressionless. You wanted the floor to swallow you, so you could not go any further with that conversation.

“I’m leaving.”

You only heard Clara laughing when you were closing the bathroom door.

For the rest of the day you sat at your desk, minding your own business, doing your work and texting with Joon on the side. You didn’t want anyone to see you together but nobody had said anything about exchanging messages. He was asking you to go with him for dinner after work. He’d already picked a place and just needed your approval. You were really keen to that, after all Clara had been right: You had still your honeymoon phase going on and you wanted to spend time with him as much as possible.

You left the office a few minutes earlier and found yourself a spot behind the building. You knew nobody could see you over there, as long as you didn’t go to wards main street and you could easily wait for Joon. You were checking your phone, hoping he would hurry up. It was warm outside but you were getting hungry.

Joon saw you waiting for him and without much thinking he ran right towards you. You didn’t see him and he used that. He ran at you and hugged you from behind, almost falling you over but pushing you from your safe spot.

“I missed you.”, he wrapped his arms around your waist.

“Already? It’s been like twenty minutes.”

“Too long.”

You turned around in his arms. He kissed you, still holding you close.

“Wait, somebody can see us…”, you breathed out between kisses.

“There is nobody here. And since Clara knows, I think we can get out from the shadow and tell everyone.”

“I actually asked Clara to stay quiet about this.”

“Baby, you can’t still be ashamed of me. I’m a good boyfriend!”

“I’m not!’, you playfully hit him on his chest. ”I’m hungry, though. Let’s go!”

Joon started to laugh but you just took his hand and started to walk towards the station.

—----

When you came home you took a quick shower. Joon had had a hard time saying goodbye and after missing two trains you’d finally sneaked out of his embrence and gone home. He’d wanted to go with you but you were tired and simply had wanted to go to sleep. Having him with you in one apartment was making that impossible.

You came out of the bathroom and saw your phone was lit up. You thought it was a message from your boyfriend but instead of that you saw Clara’s name. You unlocked the device and opened your chat. You hadn’t been texting much with her, you had no idea what she could possibly want from you. But when you saw her message you were pretty sure your heart had stopped.

Clara [18:15]: If you wanted to keep your relationship a secret, you shouldn’t have kissed in front of the office. Now everyone knows :)

Well, fuck.

雀

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