#and i dont know...if i can pretend to myself that i should care about that at all | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ccchuro · 4 months

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back to you ☽ yoo jimin x fem reader

synopsis : you hated parties, but you didn't hate yoo jimin.

pairing : idol!karina x idol!reader

genre : angst to fluff

warnings : cursing, clubbing, alcohol

a/n : abrupt ending because i gave up🙁

you hated parties.

you hated the disgusting smell of smoke, the drunk people, the pushing, the big crowds and most importantly, drinking alcohol.

so, why were you here, in Itaewon, partying in some random club with your group members and aespa?

"yunjin stop drinking so much!" a voice could be heard warning the redhead.

oh right, yunjin had planned a party for the girls to get together, seeing as her and giselle were good friends.

"y/n! y/n? you okay?" chaewon called out. "huh? oh- yea unnie.. stop worrying about me and go have fun" you gave your widest smile to try convince your leader that everything was fine when no, everything was not fine. your ex was in the same room as you, partying like everything was fine and as if you weren't there at all. "you sure? you seem uncomfortable. i know how much you hate parties. do you want to leave? we can." chaewon was not convinced.

"unnie stop worrying! im okay i swear." you definitely did not want to be an inconvenience to your friends. why should you stop them from having fun?

"okay but if you're-" "y/n! you should totally try this shot minjeong made! she mixed up so much shit i dont even remember the ingredients but its so good!" yunjin, who was obviously high out of her mind, had interupted chaewon and before you could even reply, she forced the shot glass into your mouth.

"yunjin! what the hell?! that's... wait why is that kinda good... can i get more?" you were not the type to drink so, hearing this, the redhead quickly got up and ran to minjeong for more shots, face brightened as her member had finally tried something new and actually liked it.

it had been an hour or so and you were totally wasted. how many shots did you take?

"y/n." a voice called out to you. with hooded eyes, you looked up only to see your ex staring at you. "yoo jimin?"

"get up. i'm bringing you home." where were your members? and why were you sitting on the floor?

"they left. asked me to bring you home for some reason, no idea why they couldn't have just done that themself. and i don't know why youre on sitting on the floor. now get up y/n" shit. did you say that out loud?

"why do you care... just let me go home myself!" you were obviously drunk and would not be able to make it home yourself without getting lost into some random alleyway.

jimin rolled her eyes, "y/n you were just sitting on the floor for god knows how long and you expect me to believe that you'll make it home without ending up in some random mans house?"

"yoo jimin! you act as if you care! stop pretending and just leave me alone!" you tried to push her away. keyword: tried. "y/n l/n just let me take you home and i'll leave you alone. chaewon is gonna kill me if i just leave you here." her grip on you hardened, obviously annoyed.

without giving you time to answer, she pulled you with her towards her car, simply opening the door and pushing you in, against your will but you were too drunk to do anything about it.

"fuck you, yoo jimin.." you started cusring your ex out but after awhile everything went silent.

" you finally give up?" no answer "y/n?" jimin turned to look at you and realised you had fallen asleep and smiled softly at your relaxed face.

you finally didn't have that angry look on your face.

"that's it? youre just going to give up on us? after two years?" you and jimin had been cuddling on your shared bed when jimin suddenly asked to break up.

"yoo jimin answer me!" why wasnt she answering you?! you and jimin had been dating for two years and were doing perfectly fine. fans loved you guys and suddenly jimin wanted to break up?

"theres no reason y/n... i just... don't love you anymore."

what?

"jimin what the hell are you talking about?! we have been dating for two whole years! what the fuck do you mean you don't love me anymore?!"

"y/n i just don't! stop being so annoying!"

annoying? you could feel your heart shattering from the words that came out of your own girlfriends mouth. how could she say that? was it all for show? did she truly not like you anymore? did she even love you?

tears were running down from both the womens face now. how did cuddling turn into a shouting war?

"fine. you think im annoying? fine! let's break up then!" you quickly got up and grabbed a random bag you deemed would fit all your essentials and started grabbing all your clothes and other items.

all jimin could do was stand and watch.

"goodbye yoo."

once jimin heard the door shut she crumbled to the floor and hurled out screams, a river flowing down her face.

if only she knew how you were leaning against jimin's door, crying even harder.

and if only you knew, jimin only did this for your own good.

jimin was on the way to your shared apartment when she was scrolling through the comments of a recent video of you and jimin.

'y/n and karina should totally break up. they don't seem compatible.' were you really not compatible? was jimin not good enough for you?

'y/n is so pretty then there karina. fearnots would understand what i mean. MYs, don't come for me LOL!' was jimin way out of y/n's league? did y/n not like jimin?

and the worst of it all.

'with all the dating rumours karina has been, i bet she cheated on our baby y/n! y/n deserves better!' did you think that jimin really cheated on you? god no she didn't. but, what if you had trust issues because of her?

jimin didn't want all this. she didn't mean to make think she cheated. she wasn't cheating on you! did you feel like that? god. she hates herself.

jimin decided she was going to put an end to this and break up with you.

she couldn't handle the thought that she was hurting you, so she let you go.

you had arrived at your apartment and quickly got out of jimins car, slamming the door.

"y/n wait."

"what jimin?" harsh.

"listen i-"

"f you're gonna say sorry, save it. i don't care anymore and you shouldn't care either." you were looking anywhere but her, afraid if you made eye contact with her you'd instantly give up and let her speak.

"y/n! just please. listen to me!"

you scoffed, "five minutes is all you get yoo jimin. i'll probably forget about this anyways."

"listen, i never wanted to break up with you y/n." you scoffed, again.

"on that day, i was reading through comments and half of them were talking about how my idol life was affecting you and- and i just thought maybe you really were being affected by my busy life! i was worried i wouldn't have time for you as my schedule got busier... so i decided to just break up with you so you wouldn't have to go through that anymore."

what the fuck?

"jimin what the fuck are you saying? do you hear yourself?! if i was being affected i obviously would have said something! you chose to believe comments from people who don't know us over your own girlfriend! you didn't tell me the truth either. if you had just talked to me about it im sure we could have worked through it together! but no, you just left me to cry in my room for almost a whole month. chaewon unnie was so worried she called off a whole weeks worth of practice and schedules!" was that why your group wasn't present at mma?

jimin stared at you with her mouth apart,"y/n, do you really think we could have talked it through? did you not think i was cheating on you? with all the dating ru-"

"yoo jimin! god. do you take me for a fool?! if i knew you were cheating i obviously would have broken up with you!" you were furious. what was jimin not understanding?

"y/n... i-"

"i don't care jimin. i'm over it! le-"this time it was your turn to be cut off as jimin grabbed your face and kissed you.

you blinked. what the fuck was happening? why was your ex kissing you?!

"shit! y/n i'm so fucking sorry! i- i don't know what came across me i- i just felt it in the moment and-"

"shut up yoo jimin." you pressed your lips against jimins, closing your eyes.

embracing each other, you finally moved away and stared at her.

"y/n? y- you're not mad?"

"fuck, of course i am. but... i'm willing to fix this jimin. i just- i miss you so much." tears ran down your cheeks.

you missed jimin so much.

"y/n i- i missed you more. i promise i'll do anything to prove to you that i'm better now. i'll fix everything i swear. y/n i love you so much. thank you. for giving us another chance." god. now jimin was crying as well.

it was the morning after and you were waking up, with a hell of a hangover.

"y/n, youre awake! i made breakfast and heres some painkillers. i know youre hurtign like hell right now." jimin was your clothes with a apron over it.

she looked so pretty.

you could only stare at her in awe with your mouth wide open. why did she look so beautiful in the morning?

''y/nn earth to y/nnn? i know im pretty but you dont have to keep staring'' jimin giggled.

''whatever. thanks for the breakfast min. i love you so much.'' you grinned, grabbing the plate and started eating.

jimin looked at you with a wide smile, happy that you were hers again.

''y/n, i love you so much and i will never stop reminding you of that.''

''stop being so cheesy in the morning jimin!'' you teased.

˚₊𓆩༺♡༻𓆪₊˚

#aespa x reader #karina x reader #yu jimin x reader #girl group scenarios #aespa imagines #aespa scenarios #gxg #kpop imagines #kpop x reader

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poppy-metal · 4 months

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🍄 *slides back in* hai hello, somehow my mind has convinced itself of au slasher jordan li as a fucking need with that feral grin spreading across their face as they chase me. just gonna pretend to trip myself stfg ( even if I would do so anyway because me and heels don't mix rip my ankle ), would they care if I attempted to fuck them before possibly dying? is the pussy that good to avoid death? taunter jordan delighting in the tears falling down your cheeks, ringed fingers tilting your head up harshly to meet their eyes.....poppy send halp my brain is mushy ;)(( need grippy socks rn

seeing jordan plunge a knife into someone's gut would turn me on saurry not sorry. scrambling back from them, running isn't an option anymore - and them shaking their hair out when they take off their mask. bick black combat boots, blood on their knife. they lick the blade with a grin as they step over you, looming. "I've been waiting all night for this."

squatting and leanin over you, tracing the tip of the blade up your arm, something about the move seductive, the way their eyes trace the movement. till the knife rests at your throat, poised to slit it. "w-wait, jordan-" reaching up to grip their wrist. "you dont want this."

a dark eyebrow raising. but they're interested. head tilting just a little, "oh? what do i want then, freshmen."

you swallow, the bob of your throat pressing dangerously close to the razor sharp blade. it nicks the skin a little, but you make yourself hold their eyes.

your other hand comes up shaky, trembling. you dont bother to steady it, no use hiding your fear. they like it anyway, you can see the it. the way they bite their lip at you splayed out under them, the spider looming over the fly caught in its web.

you unbutton one of the buttons on your blouse. jordan zeroes in on the action. pupils dilating.

"you want me." your breath is shaky. but you're certain you're right. you unbutton another button. the swell of your tits now exposed and jordans breath hitches. they shift on top of you. "you can have me."

there's a moment of silence where you stare at eachother, the blade still at your neck. then, dimples appear on jordans cheeks, the grin they give you absolutely feral. "you sick bitch."

the blade is replaced with their hand the next second, gripped by the throat as they yank your lips to theirs in a rough kiss. you should probably be using the opportunity to try and wrangle the knife free from them but your arms come up to wrap around their shoulders instead as they push you back to the floor, spreading your legs to invite them between the cradle.

you are sick. sick for being wet, sick for kissing them back and enjoying this. you say its for survival, but you know its more than that.

#ask #jordan li x reader #slasher!jordan

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alex-rambles · 1 year

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Can you make a part.2 of that yandere bill cipher x reader oneshot. I know it was a oneshot but the ending was a bit sad 🥲 (if you dont want to do it thats fine)

Yes, of course! The reader is still angry though, so angst ahoy once more. If enough people want it, I may write some more of this...

As the day passes, you can't help but feel a sense of dread. You know that Bill won't just let this go. He's not the type to just sweep his emotions under the rug and pretend everything is fine. No, he'll come back, and he'll come back angry.

Sure enough, the next day, he appears in your room again, his eye narrowed in annoyance. "I hope you enjoyed your little break, sunspot, because it's over now. We need to talk about your behavior."

"My behavior? You're the one who's been keeping me trapped in this room for days! You're the one who's been trying to force me to be something I'm not!"

Bill scoffs. "You think you know what you want, but you don't. You're just a human, with all the limitations that come with it. I'm trying to help you overcome those limitations, to become something greater."

"I don't want to be something greater! I just want to be me!"

"And what is that, exactly? A pathetic, insignificant speck in the grand scheme of things? Is that really all you aspire to be?"

"Yes! Because at least I'm honest with myself! I'm not pretending to be something I'm not, like you are!"

Bill's eye narrows. "Watch your mouth, sunspot. You don't know what you're talking about."

"I know that you're a liar and a manipulator! You claim to care about me, but all you care about is your own power!"

"That's not true! I care about you more than anything in this world! You're the one who's being selfish, insisting on clinging to your puny human existence instead of embracing the limitless potential that awaits you!"

"I don't want limitless potential! I just want to be happy! And I'll never be happy as long as I'm stuck here with you!"

Bill looks at you for a long moment, suddenly looking... hurt.

You can see the hurt in Bill's eye, and for a moment, you feel guilty for your words. But then you remember all the times he's mistreated you, and the guilt fades away.

"What, are you going to cry now?" you say, unable to resist the urge to taunt him.

Bill's expression darkens, and you can see the anger building in his eye. "You know, for someone who's stuck with me, you sure do have a lot of nerve," he says.

You roll your eyes. "I'm not scared of you, Bill. You can't hurt me anymore than you already have."

"Oh really?" he says, his voice low and dangerous. "I think you'll find that I can hurt you in ways you never even imagined."

You don't respond, not wanting to give him the satisfaction of knowing he's getting to you. Instead, you turn away from him and try to ignore him.

For a few minutes, there's silence in the room, broken only by the sound of your own breathing. You can feel his eye on you, but you don't look back.

Finally, he speaks again. "Look, I know we haven't always seen eye to eye," Bill says. The eye pun was not welcome. "but you're stuck with me. So can't we at least try to get along?"

You scoff. "After all the things you've done to me? I don't think so."

Bill lets out a sigh. "Fine. But just remember, you're not the only one who's miserable here."

With that, he disappears, leaving you alone with your thoughts. You know you should feel bad for the way you treated him, but you can't bring yourself to care. After everything he's done to you, you think he deserves a taste of his own medicine.

#yandere bill cipher x reader #yandere bill cipher #gravity falls #gravity falls x reader #alex writes #billposting

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iouinotes · 17 days

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Burning Love | Leo Valdez

pairing: Leo Valdez x aphrodite!reader

book: The Heros of Olympians (Percy Jackson Universe) by Rick Riordan

I DONT OWN ANY OF THESE CHARACTERS

warnings: suggestive themes (kissing), little bit of angst

summary: reader fell in love with the camps busiest, funniest (prettiest) demigod, that makes her heart beat faster (and tries not to burst into flames all the time). But she likes that about him too.

authors note: soo, I read Heros of Olympus and Leo was just pure comedy. His character was so charasmatic and funny, I really liked him. Of course, I needed to write for him, ENJOYYYY

________________________________________

Of course I was doomed to fall in love with him. Letting my heart get broken in the process, because I am physically not able to dare myself to talk to him.

What else had I expected? As a daughter of Aphrodite, this was foreseen in my fate. Well, actually it should be the other way around. After all, the ongoing tradition for centuries of the Aphrodite cabin is to break a boy's heart, but in my case it is a little complicated.

I always thought love would be something pleasant, a feeling like butterflies flying around in your stomach and wearing stylish, rose-colored glasses, that makes everything he does seem perfect. Or maybe being in love would feel like watching a beautiful fire work.

The last part is sort of true- my love literally burns for him, just as sometimes his hair sparks, when red flames are dancing through the brown strands.

I remember one time very vividly, when he walked out of the forest, visibly happy, with his hands dirty and his clothes smeared with motor oil, a satisfied grin on his face. His eyes would lighten up, as soon as found someone to talk about his projects.

Leo Valdez is the embodiment of a loyal soul, combined with an incredible humor and a talent for fixing literally anything. And I silently wish sometimes, that he could mend my broken heart too.

He's not like the other guys in this camp who always need attention, act like they're the best, like they're above everyone. No, Leo may have his pride, but he knows what he can do and he knows when to ask for help. This is usually connected with a following joke or a charming grin.

When I look at him, I often wonder how he can be so unconsciously attractive.

It's just that when my eyes find him, I'm almost in another world. And there, only he exists.

It's like he can affect my heartbeat, confuse my thoughts, charge me with electricity and set my heart on fire. All with just a lame joke, a funny remark, a wink or one of his exaggerated smiles.

I don't dare talk to him, only watch his figure from a safe distance, in a crowd where my longing stares go unnoticed. In these moments, where I realise he doesn't even know me, my emotions feel so overwhelming, as if I am the one carrying the sky instead of Atlas.

I wish I had more control over myself, that my cheeks wouldn't blush every time he glanced my way. Because he does that every now and then. And I always stare at the floor in a matter of seconds, letting my hair fall in front of my face. After all, I can't like him that obvious.

Even though I was careful, my feelings were noticed by a few others, all from my cabin. Unfortunately Piper did too. In her opinion, I should just walk up to him, bat my eyelashes and start smiling. She´s convinced, that if I would just talk to him, he would like me.

But that's the problem. If he only liked me, I couldn't handle that. If I actually became friends with him and he wouldnt fall in love with me, then I could be close to him. I mean, not in the way I want it. Like holding his hand, styling his burning hair, kissing him, watching him build something. And being crazy and proud about it afterwards, showing it off with an excited look in his eyes. Wanting appreciation for his work.

I would gladly fulfill his every wish, if he asked.

But it would be terrible having to pretend not to be completely in love with him, at least if I had to let him believe that. Maybe it's actually better if I keep my distance and he never finds out about my crush. Maybe, I would start to believe it too.

All the thoughts make my head ache and I open my eyes to concentrate on something else.

The sun shines on my skin, the waves hit the beach loudly, the straps of my green bikini top hang loosely over my shoulder. I braid a few small braids into my hair, two in the front and one in the back, where my sister helped me. I still leave my hair down so that it tickles my shoulder, I find to like it more that way.

I brush the sand off my shorts and slowly stand up, stretching my muscles and feeling a light breeze on my skin. The summer months are always the most beautiful, such as the holidays are always the quietest time. The camp is emptier than usual, many campers are spending the holidays with their families. Of course with their mortal family, the gods are not very generous when it comes to holiday visits. Nevertheless, the idea of staying on Mount Olympus for two weeks is ridiculous anyway.

Still, there are a few people left behind, including me. My father died a few years ago, and our family is so scattered around the world, so I have no close contact with them. I wouldn't want to put anyone in danger anyway. It's always sad to hear how happy the others are going home, even though I'm happy for them. But for me, Camp Half Blood is my home.

For my benefit, it is the same for Leo. I don't know much about his past, but he doesn't have a parent to visit either. But he claims, that he has more time now to work on his project, something that needs to be finished until the summer solistice arrives.

The path to the camp leads through the forest, always a bit of a nuisance with all the branches and angry nymphs that sometimes insult you. Just because you accidentally stepped on a root or sang too loudly.

Anyway, I just whistle quietly to myself, after all I'm not keen on arguing today and I'm just looking around lost in my thoughts. And because I have nothing to do, I stroll along a few other paths and explore the forest, looking up to the sky and watching the birds. It's quiet and peaceful, it feels beautiful.

Several minutes must have passed because the sun is getting closer to the horizon and the air cools down. I put on the jacket that hangs around my waist, leaving it open and continue to show my skin. When I choose another path, I suddenly see a clearing infront of me.

The next thing I know, I almost have a heart attack. In front of me lays a huge ship with a dragon's head attached to the front. I feel like I almost want to run away, but then I remember something. I know this dragon. It is Leo's metallic friend Festus, who was destroyed on their first quest. I know, because I remember the devastated look on his face, when he talked about it.

Okay, I think to myself. Two options, I go back to camp and forget I was here. Or I'll go in and have a look around. Would that be an invasion of his privacy? But if I would meet him there, we could share a moment. Like in these romance books I read about.

I think for a moment, but being curious was always a bad habit of mine. My legs move in the direction of the ship, it takes me a few minutes to find the entrance, but I manage. When I'm inside I'm amazed, my eyes seem to can't see enough. There are banners with funny inscriptions, maps full of plans, forgotten tools, furniture and weapons hanging everywhere. It's such a mess that it clearly has Leo's handwriting on it.

My fingers run over the open books, I read a few sentences and try to understand the technical language. Maybe he'll like me if I could actually understand his interests. But after just two pages it's hard to remember which button is for which function or which metal is the strongest. I could try to get the same copy, but when I try to read the title, the cover is torn and illegible. And not because of my dyslexia.

I'm so absorbed in my surroundings that I don't hear the footsteps coming. And then I almost have a heart attack for the second time, only this time from someone I'm used for it to happen.

"If I had known I would have visitors today, I would have cleaned." At his voice I freeze. I remind myself to breathe. I slowly turn around, my eyes immediately finding his face, a grin graces his lips, his hair is sweaty and when I lower my gaze, I notice that he is only wearing an apron. Which means, he is shirtless underneath.

Does he want to kill me?

Before I can say anything, he speaks again. Sweet like always.

"I think I know you. You're one of Piper's siblings. She's not here if you're looking for her?" His eyes look apologetically in my direction and I feel my heart beating in my chest. I've never spoken to him. Would now be the right time to ask the gods for help?

"No I- I'm not looking for her." I see his eyebrows raise in question.

"No? Then what gives me the honor?" As he takes a few steps towards me, I almost lose myself in his eyes. Brown and warm, as if a fire of its own glowed within them.

I feel the table at my back and say the first thing that comes to mind.

"The- uh, books." Crap. What should I do now?

"The books here? What do you need them for?" It feels like the temperature is rising, but I don't know if it's me or him. I mean, he's the one who can conjure fire with his bare hands.

"I like to read and thought it would be good to learn something about...metal?" That's probably the stupidest thing I've ever said and I can feel my cheeks turn red again.

"Oh well, luckily I can help you with that. Although I don't read the books for my enjoyment, they are quite useful. Are you looking for specific bands?" He is now standing next to me, looking at me from between the books that are laying on the table.

"No...not really. I thought I might ask you? After all, you are an expert." He seems to like the compliment, because his eyes light up and he winks at me.

"To be honest, I think it's better to learn something from practice. But I can show you some of the books later. Do you want to see what I'm currently working on? I won't light anything on fire in your presence, promise."

His comment makes me laugh and I feel myself relax, I nod and try to mentally prepare myself not to show my admiration for him too much.

He goes ahead and explains some of the functions of his ship - the Argo II. Seeing how proud he is and how he glows with an aura of joy make me never want to let me take my eyes off him.

He's so charismatic and I almost laugh at every word that comes out of his mouth. I feel so comfortable around him. And I didn't think it was possible, but actually talking to him, just made me fall in love with him even more.

He shows me his collection of tools, his magic table, the functions of the different rooms and finally his belt. Which allows him to create almost any tool he wants. It is fascinating, all of it. Him.

"It was just left behind, when I found it here. Whoever left it must have been crazy and I mean crazier than me." We stand facing each other and I smile at him. He looks at me too and I'm weak for just a moment. It's only for a second, when my eyes linger on his lips.

“Did you really come here for the books?" My eyes slowly find his and I shake my head.

"Then why?" We're so close, I can see every birthmark and every stray strand of hair on his forehead.

"I just-" our faces are so close, as if something is pulling us together. I feel his breathing, the heat radiating from him, my heart is beating as fast as if it couldn't keep up.

"-think I'm in love with you, Valdez and I will probably burst in flames, if I would kiss you now. But- thats just a side effect. Can-can I kiss you?" I notice, the tips of his hair bursting into flames.

"You wouldn't even need to charmspeak me to convince me, beautiful."

When I kissed him, the irony of our world hit me, because this time I was the one who felt like I was on fire.

#percy jackson #percy jackon and the olympians #heros of olympus #leo valdez #x reader #fanfic #in love #love #funny #camp half blood #demi god

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doing-something-unholy · 1 month

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hiii Father, why dont you set a good example of repentance for lent and tell us a kink you're ashamed of?

Oh-h, Lord... I, uh- well. Um. Let me say first, I've always held myself to harsher double standards than other people- I mean, I know what I'm supposed to preach but it always seemed to me what consenting adults do in their own time is none of my business-- This is a very long way to say... just because I'm ashamed of it doesn't mean anyone else should be.

But, well... I-I have complicated feelings on the subject. I almost like the idea of being teased with the shame of it more than the kink itself-- I'm stalling.

I have fantasies where... where I-I'm the victim of sexual assault.

I don't want that to happen for real, obviously, I'm not really even sure if I want it as roleplay, but... I fantasize about it a lot. I think I've been taught to have so much guilt and repress any sexual desire that this is the compromise my subconscious came up with, I don't need to feel guilty about sex I didn't ask for.

But you asked because you want details, dont you?

(heavy cnc tw)

I often fantasize about being held down, my arms behind my back. Someone is behind and on top of me, their weight keeping me from getting away and making my struggles useless.

I can't get away from their wandering hands, and my protests and whimpers get shushed. They don't care if I don't want it, they're going to take what they want from me and they're even going to make sure it feels good. They reach under my cassock and into my pants to hear all the guilty moans and little whiney 'no's they can pull from me.

Then their hand slips behind me and I realize what they're going to do to me, so I start struggling again, begging them not to sodomise me and getting cut off by being shoved down onto the bed a little harder. Their fingers tease my entrance but my cries are muffled by the blankets and they can't have that so their free hand grabs my hair and pulls my head back so they can hear the shameful pleasure in my voice when they push inside and start to stretch me open.

I want to hear them whispering in my ear the whole time, too. Telling me to relax, to give in, how I'm being "such a good boy, Father, stop struggling you pretty thing, I know you can't admit you want it just let me make you feel good, doesn't being violated feel good, Father? I knew you were a slut. Such a dirty priest, so desperate to get fucked, you're not even fighting me anymore you naughty whore, you ready for my cock, Father? No? Too bad--" and then they're sinking in inch by inch and it's too much but I have no choice but to take it.

Maybe they try to be gentle but it doesn't last, slamming their hips into me to claim me as theirs. And by that time I can't pretend it doesn't feel good, whining and moaning under them, maybe not even trying to get away anymore, maybe too exhausted to fight back.

And eventually when they get close they're gonna force me to cum with them, they wanna feel me spasm around them, I want to be forced to cum from being violated. And then they're cumming inside me and its over, all the fight goes out of me cause they won, they got to claim me and take my innocence and make me into a dirty slutty priest. The church isn't gonna want me back now, they coo at me so sweetly, so I'm all theirs now.

And I would love every second of it.

#father speaks #confession #priest kink #cnc cw #rough cnc #cnc k!nk #ive been sitting on this ask for a few weeks but i think ill be brave and post it 🫣#r@pe kink

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championleonsslut · 3 months

Note

Got anything for a yandere Leon like headcanons or a fic?

OHOHOHO ANON THE CAN OF WORMS YOU HAVE OPENED

Yandere Leon

WARNINGS: kidnapping, Stockholm syndrome, kinda nsfw, murder, manipulation. Reader is female

DONT DO THIS IN REAL LIFE ITS REALLY BAD KIDS

Leon gets what he wants. He always does eventually. He’s the champion.

And what he wants right now is you. The prettiest girl in all of Galar according to him. So sweet, so kind, so clever, so good with Pokemon.

He’s madly in love with you, even though you guys are only friends. There’s just one problem.

The boyfriend.

Leon has some competition in his way, as you’ve told him over and over again how madly in love with this man you are. Leon has to watch him kiss you and make you giggle. Disgusting! You should be in his arms, kissing his lips instead.

He draws the line when you tell who you think is a good friend that you want to give your boyfriend your virginity.

So Leon “runs” into your boyfriend in the Wild area, and challenges him to a Pokemon battle with Charizard. Your poor boyfriend… Charizard just… burned him right up! What a freak accident! Naturally Leon deposes of the body before anyone stumbles upon it. He throws it into a cave, careful to keep his fingerprints off it.

His body is found a few days later, and it’s all over the news. You come running into Leon’s arms, crying your pretty little eyes out. Leon pretends to be all upset and comforts you as you cry.

That’s when Leon starts the manipulation. He starts twisting your brain to see him in a better light, to maybe even fall in love with him.

And it works! From what he can tell, you have a crush on him. Finally. Now he can begin the second step of his plan.

He decks out a room in his private penthouse just for you, and breaks into your apartment that night. The house is peaceful, and you’re wearing such short shorts and such a short shirt while you sleep peacefully… how is Leon supposed to resist you?

He sees you sleeping with your mouth open, and pops a few pills in there. He helps you swallow them too, how sweet. Those will make sure you stay unconscious for the next few hours.

And once he makes sure you’re out cold, he lunges his new prize over his shoulder, and carries you out to the car to rest peacefully in the back seat.

You awake in a very strange place. You don’t remember being here. Then Leon appears, to welcome you to your new home! You put two and two together and start screaming at him for kidnapping you, but he doesn’t bat an eye. He says once you’ve calmed down and gotten used to the place, your restrictions can be lifted.

And just like that he’s gone.

Your room is nice to say the least… he made sure to decorate it to your tastes. A large king sized bed, bookshelves, a desk, a video game system, anything else that may have interested you…

And of course a massive closet filled with all sorts of clothes… but especially lingerie. The sluttiest cuts you’ve ever seen! You even spied a few sex toys in the drawers…

Leon brings you fresh food and water very often, making sure you’re well kept. You’re still mad at him for kidnapping you, but pleased he’s taking care of you so well.

You eventually ask him why, and your suspicions are confirmed.

“Oh, love. Well I couldn’t let anyone else have you, now could I? You were made for me! So I had to start keeping you here… so I could have you all to myself. We’re meant to be together, don’t you know?”

At first you reject him, and he’s disappointed, but just thinks you need more time. So he gives you more time, and manipulates you more, until you finally tell him you love him after countless nights of being denied.

That’s when you gain a bit of freedom. Now you’re allowed to walk around the entire penthouse! Leon officially starts calling you his girlfriend too, and takes your virginity on a night you chose to wear lingerie for him.

You stay happily cooped up in his apartment for about a year, while still taking good care of yourself, before he finally sets you free. He knows you won’t leave his side, and you’ll always come home, but now you can start leaving the penthouse… as long as you always come back. (Which you do!)

After being his precious little darling for a few years, he presents you with a beautiful ring one night, and asks you to be his queen. Of course you say yes, and reward him that night with the lewd pleasure he loves to get out of you.

The wedding is wonderful, and he’s so glad to finally have you as his bride. Stolen, maybe. But his nonetheless. You’re a wonderful wife to him, no matter if you stay at home or have a career of your own.

But a few years into your marriage, Leon wants a little more than just you. He wants you to bear his children. Of course you say yes! Actually, you say yes many times, as you two end up having five little babies of your own.

A girl, another girl, a boy and a girl (TWINS!) and another boy.

Your children and husband are the lights of your life, just the way Leon has always wanted it.

Becuase you belong to him.

I’m totally willing to go into heavy detail about the five children you have with Leon just fyi

#champion leon #pokemon leon #trainer leon #pokemon #champion leon x reader #pokemon leon x reader #anon ask #request #champion leon headcannons #pokemon leon headcannons #yandere

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badlydrawndoc-scratch · 5 months

Text

don't really have time or energy to draw this right now so. you're getting it in writing instead

It's not your birthday. At best, you would call it a day that someone who was you once was familiar with.

One that he didn't like either. Sure, you'd pretend to be him for a bit, accept some birthday wishes for him. But it wasn't your birthday. Not to you, at least. You think they all understand, to a point. Dirk does, at least.

That was why you weren't prepared to humour this conversation.

TG: this is hal isnt it

TG: not mad jst

TG: how do i say this?

TT: It seems there's a fairly large chance you're accusing me of not being myself, based off of a totally bullshit statistic.

TT: Care to elaborate?

TG: if u want me to tell u happy birthday 2 i can lmao

TG: dont hafta be weird about impersonatin dirk for that!!!

TT: I...

TT: Sorry. Holdon.

TT: There we go.

TT: As I was about to say, it's not technically my birthday. It's Dirk's. I wasn't even created today.

TT: I'll relay your well-wishes to him whenever he returns. Don't need to ask me about it.

TG: hmm nah i think i like havin' a hold of u for this

TG: if ur like

TG: not REALLY him

TG: but have his memories and shit

TG: todays ur day too

TG: so happy b-day! im not takin' that back either!

TT: ...

TT: I should go.

TT: Dirk probably won't like me monopolizing his account, even if he isn't here.

TT: Thanks, I guess.

You log off without another word, back in your sort-of space. Maybe you'll check in with Jane in a bit. Maybe you'll go through the internet for no apparent reason.

You can't say that that made you feel human. Or that it made you feel better, but... it made you think. It made you feel something. That was a start, right?

---

A firm series of slaps to the back of the cue-ball/head drags you out of your reverie. It's Itchy, hand poised to continue slapping you if you don't acknowledge him.

"Apologies. I must have became lost in thought," you begin, "as tends to happen with the omniscient. That said, there are better ways to get my attention."

Itchy shrugs and tells you he doesn't give a shit. He was just the fastest. The Felt needs you for somethin'. Somethin' he can't tell you about.

"Vague and somewhat sarcastic as always, Itchy. Just get to the point."

He just tells you you're no fun, before half dragging you out of one of your many studies. The whole manor is technically your study. But especially this one.

Itchy only bothers to take you about halfway, to where Crowbar is standing and waiting. He hardly says goodbye before dashing off to who-knows-where, probably to cause trouble somewhere else.

You pretend you don't know what's being hidden from you. You could figure out, and in the back of your mind you have figured out. But surprise is an emotion you like trying to fake.

Sometimes you wish you weren't faking it.

Crowbar walks up to you, with some off-handed comment about how he didn't expect Itchy to get you there on time. Or at all. He can never tell. Nonetheless, he's slightly more gentle when he offers you his hand, like he's not about to effectively drag you across an entire manor.

You don't remember the last time you've had actual contact with someone in a way that wasn't violent. You're not sure it's ever happened, honestly. (In reality, you know that isn't true. You were an indigoblood once, you recall. It's not as clear as the other memories, though.)

Crowbar's hand is felted, unsurprisingly, almost like a pool table. Again. Unsurprising. It's never surprising, but you commit the texture to memory anyway, all but ignoring what he's actually talking about. Something about a celebration.

He says they got the table stickball table fixed, and your attention is drawn again.

"Just call it a pool table."

He says he doesn't feel like it. It's a ball you hit with a stick on a table. Ain't a pool in sight. You agree, silently. The Alternian names for things were as foreign as they were ingrained; you knew them as much as you didn't know them.

Eventually, you're led into what you believe is the living room, and Crowbar lets go of your hand. You don't immediately adjust to the lack of feeling in your hand, almost like you were... severely touch-starved, actually, or something.

That's ridiculous, of course. You aren't technically alive, even if you're not as "soon to die" as you once were.

Someone, you think it could be Quarters, explains that all the Felt knows it isn't technically your birthday, and that it's only such by a few tangents. (You mentally add on that you weren't even created today).

But, Quarters adds, you've been stuck in a rut of sorts for a while. It wasn't really anyone's idea, he says. But it was agreed that it might get you feeling better for a while.

And, for once, you feel surprise. You never thought that they actually cared. Or even noticed. You're just their boss, of course. You're hardly even there.

(You have spent the past few months only leaving the Manor when you absolutely have to.)

You can't say it makes you feel alive. Or better, really. But it made you think. It made you feel something.

And, as you're dragged to play table stickball with Trace and Sawbuck, you decide that's a start.

#long post #scratch.txt #toying with this cueball man's brain #//#hehe #honestly i don't think i COULD have drawn this if i wanted to. so. here.

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silvermoon424 · 4 months

Note

the plagiarism discussion started by the new hbomberguy video has really got me thinking some dark thoughts directed at myself. because i used to do that. i copied art all the time. it started when i was a kid and didnt know how to draw, and i tricked myself into thinking this was a way to pretend i was good at it. i wish i could say i stopped when i got older but i just kept doing it. i dont have a good excuse, it was awful and selfish. i now realize i had a lot of other problems in my life, and it got me stuck in some pretty selfish behavior, but that doesnt make it okay. i just didnt care enough about other people, the effort they put into creating something and then sharing it with the world. i wish i had enough kindness in me to praise and share what they did back then, instead of copying it. i know that the guilt i feel is my own fault, and i can never apologize enough

it happened too late in my life, but i finally started to grow and change enough to care about what my actions meant. i also discovered that if i practiced, i was capable of drawing art on my own. i never want to be such a horrible person again. the thing is, i recently started to notice that even when im trying to do better, i wind up drawing poses of characters from art other people have made. maybe that isnt such a big deal for some people, but for me, it feels wrong. somebody who steals shouldnt be trusted. somebody who lies shouldnt be trusted. i feel like i need to just stop drawing altogether, and not even interact with other people who share art. i dont expect any forgiveness, because i dont even forgive myself. i want to stop being a bad person. i guess im wondering about how to move on. everything i think of winds up being hopeless and sefldestructive

Honestly, I think you should be way kinder to yourself. We all fuck up and make mistakes, it's part of being human. Flagellating yourself and thinking you should give up art as a way to "atone" doesn't help anyone, least of all yourself. You should keep doing what you love and maybe also try to highlight other artists.

Seriously, you're WAY too hard on yourself! Please be kind and gracious to yourself as we're all growing into better versions of ourselves <3

#asks #Anonymous

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pluralcultureis · 7 months

Note

Plural culture is I just dont get it...why do endos want to be this? and why do people think others want or are faking all of this? Plural culture is I cant LIKE anything anymore. Plural culture is even if im ACTIVLY TRYING to not split and to ignore it all and just keep on keeping on and pretend my system isnt there I STILL split. I cant sit down and enjoy my day because my brain will take SOMETHING, ANYTHING, NOT EVEN A PERSON SOMETIMES and if I got enjoyment or even suffering out of it then its just THERE now and a part of me is missing. Plural culture is missing parts of yourself, loosing a skill or talent you loved that shaped who you were, forgetting the faces and voices of your loves ones, getting your memories rewriten for you, blinking and missing days or sometimes years. And thats just MY experience as host! Others in my system having to live their lives in the backseat, never being able to have one of their own or feeling like their hole point of existence is to make me happy or make sure we dont die. Sometimes I see how tired and drained the protectors are, how strung out the care takers are, the gatekeepers putting on a brave face for the good of the system to make us feel like maybe at least ONE of us has SOME kind of control only to find out that even they dont know everything or have control over it all. I see alters who are dating in our system wish and beg for a body just so they can hold hands like normal. Or others still who have had relationships outside the system wish they had a body independent of this one to go and be with who they want and do whatever they want. Its NOT all suffering and disorder yes of course and thats so very valid but like...even the most well adjusted systems deal with flashbacks, triggers, panic attacks I mean for fuck sake its not just some fun game or even a coping skill! Id RATHER NOT split or disassociate to be able to cope! Honestly id MUCH RATHER do things myself then switch but unfortunately I simply CANT no matter how much I want to! I HATE how low our split tolerance is because SPLITTING ISNT FUCKING FUN even when its painless! Even when its so subtle you dont notice! Because you loose something, a memory, your feelings, your sense of self gets rocked off its balance and honestly sometimes not knowing a split happed is WORSE cause youll just randomly start feeling like your not you anymore with no explanation as to why! Its so frustrating to see a bunch of people emulate the "fun parts" of my disorder and then when I get RIGHTFULY upset and say "hey its not like that it actually kinda sucks" they turn around and emotionally manipulate a group of people who are NUTORIOUS for not being believed by saying "Well because no one believes you then you should believe me because everyone has a different brain so actually I say that you dont need to be traumatized and have any of the bad shit your talking about and I get to have all the cool parts of it and your trying to oppress me by not letting me in your spaces" like???? Okay, so sorry for the rant and talking about endos and systemcorse and all. Sometimes it just all seems so ridiculous to me. When I see people say "real systems arnt hurt by people faking DID" and like??? no??? dont fucking speak for me???? Like yes stop fakeclaiming but like no dont say endos arnt "real systems problem" like I guess in practice sure but no and also BIG NO cause enods directly HAVE caused me problems so no, fuck that.

#endos dni #osdd #pdid #did #did system #pdid system #osddid #actually did #traumagenic #actually dissociative #plural culture is #tw vent #syscourse

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lexa-griffins · 7 months

Note

Quiet, shy Lexa uses Halloween as an excuse to finally come out of her shell and wear a slutty costume to a party where she meets Clarke

Lexa has been avoiding parties since freshman year of college. She finds no value to dancing drunk people grinding on each other as they try to get lucky. Not to mention the hallowen version of that, a thin excuse to wear as little as possible and have it be socially acceptable, all to have sex with someone you night not even recognize the next day.

And yet, here she is, standing at the doorstep of the biggest mixed frat on campus, wearing what might be the sluttiest woodland fairy costume she could have find.

Its her last year of college, fuck it!

She wanders for a good hour and, as she suspected, she absolutely hates it here. She has swatted about four hands away from her ass and has had one very friendly conversation with a girl suddenly turn into a near fingering ride she did not sign up for.

She's outside by the bushes, questioning if she should leave or not after she finishes her drink when someone sneaks up behind her.

"Not many bushes for the garden fairy to hang out by inside?" The voice is right by her hear and makes Lexa startle, "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you there."

Lexa turns to face Clarke Griffin. Fratgirl extraordinaire, she is also a senior and president of the frat. They have barely spoken despite sharing many classes and being dorm neighbors for a whole year. Lexa finds her beyond hot, sparkling blue eyes and an easy smile. And right now she wears a firefighter costume with a simple black bikini top covering her chest, contrasting with the yellow baggy pants and helmet on her head. Despite the softness of her stomach Lexa has seen her at the gym and knows there is a hardness below it.

"Shouldn't you be inside entertaining guests." Lexa comments, motioning inside where the music is booming.

Loud cheering comes from inside as the vague image of someone being given a lapdance can be seen.

"They seem plenty entertainted to me." Clarke smiles, "you however do not. I dont think ive ever seen you at one of these."

Lexa shakes her head with a closed smile, "Not really my thing."

"And yet here you are. Looking really good if I may add." Her words slur just a bit and Lexa can tell she is a few drops past drunk.

"Thank you. You look..." Lexa tries to think of a word that isnt /sexy/ or /hot/, "very authentic too."

Clarke flashes her a bright smile at that and Lexa can feel her legs shake and her heart beating faster.

"Thanks! You're Lexa right?"

Lexa nods, her smile growing slightly bigger at the fact Clarke knows her name.

"Im Clarke." The girl introduces herself and Lexa has to hold back a chuckle. Who /doesn't/ know who Clarke is.

"I know who you are Clarke, everyone does."

Clarke seems almost bashful at this, bringing her hand to sctrach the back of her head, "eh, I mean you always seemed to not really care who i was so I thought id introduce myself."

Lexa's heart flutters again but she says nothing.

"So why did you decide to come this time?"

Lexa shrugs "its our last year of college and I thought I might as well pretend I had some fun. Even if I'd rather stay behind this bush all night than go back inside.

Clarke chuckles, a low and deep chuckle that makes Lexa feel something tingle between her legs.

They stare at each other for a minute, and Lexa is hyper aware of Clarke eyeing her costume - or lack the off - fully. She has to admit it looks great on her. The fake leaves that make up the bra give her a wonderful lift and the skirt in so short it could classify as a belt. She made a point of adding some glitter to her skin that shines now underneath the low light of the patio.

"That costume looks so fucking good on you." Clarke comments once more, eyes hodded as she stares at Lexa's body.

"Youre drunk." Lexa states although she cant deny how Clarke's stare is affecting her.

"So are you. Your words are more loose, youre ususally so uptight when you talk."

Lexa stares down at her cup, already empty. Maybe she has had one too many.

When she looks back up, Clarke is right in front of her, her chest touching her. Lexa closes her legs firmly, feeling herself growing wetter. She shouldnt.

"You're so hot. The beautiful kind of hot."

Suddenly Lexa feels something poke her. Looking down, she can see Clarke's pants have become a tent

"Clarke...."

She can feels Clarke's breath on her face, her hand on her hip. Their lips inches away.

"Tell me to stop and I will." Clarke whispers.

Lexa closes the gap.

She feels so fucking free right now.

She throws her arms around Clarke, pulling her closer to her. Almost immediately Clarke's hands find her ass, using it as leverage to hold Lexa up into her arms.

"Fuck, I knew you were strong." Lexa moans as she wraps her legs around Clarke's waist.

Clarke chuckles, cocky, before slamming their lips together once more.

"Wanna see strong?" Clarke asks with a smirk and Lexa nods rapidly. Quickly the shorts she wore below her skirt are gone, her wet cunt bare to the autumn air. The sound of clothings hitting the floor follow it and she feels Clarke's hard cock against her.

"Take a deep breath my little fairy, im gonna make you soar."

The colors of the lights coming from inside the house all blur into one as Clarke slams her dick inside of Lexa repeatedly, the shorter girl somehow able to move her hips upwards and she moves Lexa up and down on her dick.

Its sloppy and fast but the thrill of being sressed up and being a bush while a party happens so close by is enough excitment to leave Lexa close to the edge rather fast.

"Ah, Clarke, im gonna cum!" Lexa moans in Clarke's ear, probably louder than she should have, but the loud music muffles her moans.

"Fuck, me too baby, im so close."

With one last thrust Clarke buries herself inside of Lexa fully, cumming hard inside. Lexa locks her legs with as much strength as she can manage around Clarke's waist, bringing them impossible close and sending Lexa over the edge.

"Clarke? You're here?!" The sudden voice alerts the two girls someone is close. Without much time to react, Lexa hops off Clarke in search of her shorts. She slides them on, realizing just as they are in place she is still filled with Clarke's cum. Shit.

"Oh, there you are." It's Octavia, one of Clarke's frat friends, "who's this?"

Lexa looks up to see Clarke fully dressed as if nothing had happened while Lexa shifts on her feet, feeling Clarke's cum drip on to her shorts. Fuck.

"Oh this is Lexa, we have a few classes together." Clarke says casually, "She was about to head out so I was just saying bye to her."

Lexa nods at Clarke's excuse, glad she's giving her an outing given her... state.

"Yeah, sorry. These just arent really my thing." Lexa apologizes, voice somehow steady.

After some quick goodbyes, Clarke accompanies Lexa to the front. As Lexa gives her a polite goodbye, Clarke grabs her hand, forcing Lexa to turn around. They are once again face to face.

With a roll of eyes and a smile, Lexa closes the gap between them again.

"Dont be stranger." Clarke whispers as they pull away, a hand finding Lexa's core from behind and pressing on it, feeling the wetness she created gather between her legs.

Lexa moans softly before pulling away with a shy smile.

"I'll see you Clarke."

She still doesnt like frat parties. But oh doesnt she looove that frat girl.

#letter opened #wanheda's dagger #🥴🥴🥴

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robininthelabyrinth · 2 years

Note

Oh my, i may be taking adventage of the mini prompts to vent ideas, hope sending it is stillvalid? Age swap between the nie brothers and this time they dont get along.

“So what?”

“What do you mean, so what?” Nie Huaisang frowned. “I would have thought you’d have more of a reaction than that. I just avenged our father!”

Nie Mingjue finally stopped swinging his saber at the practice dummy and turned to look at Nie Huaisang. “Your father.”

“Our father. You can’t possibly believe those stupid rumors about your parentage –”

“I didn’t mean it that way,” Nie Mingjue interrupted. “He died when I was six, I barely remember him. Other than the fact that we’re connected by blood, and I don’t doubt that we are, I barely know anything about him…you’re the one who really cared about him.”

Nie Huaisang hadn’t really thought about that, though in retrospect he supposed it was a good point. He’d just been so angry when Wen Ruohan had murdered their father – stealing someone who loved him out of his life, forcing him to take the position of sect leader…revenge had seemed both obvious and incredibly necessary, and not just necessary but compelling. It had been, instantaneously, the most important thing in his life, the thing for which everything else could be sacrificed for.

After all, how else could he have tolerated pretending to be quite so intolerably useless all these years?

But Nie Mingjue had a good point. Six years old was a touch young to be swearing your life in vengeance.

“Well, it’s done now,” he said, automatically reaching for his fan to hide his face before realizing he didn’t need that habit any longer. “You have no idea how long I’ve waited for this day, Mingjue. All that pretending, all that scheming…it all stops now. We can finally live our lives!”

“Your life.”

“Nie Mingjue.”

“What?” Nie Mingjue asked, and to Nie Huaisang’s surprise he realized that his younger brother’s expression was not merely reserved but cold. “It’s true. Why should I care?”

“What do you mean, why should I care –”

“I mean that I raised myself for years,” Nie Mingjue said, “because my da-ge was too useless to raise me. I had to figure out my own morality, learn a sense of duty, understand right and wrong all by myself, all because there was no one around to teach me – you even cycled out my teachers every year, don’t you remember?”

“They could have been spies –”

“My whole life long, I didn’t have a single adult in my life I could rely on. I didn’t have anyone I could turn to with questions, anyone I could turn to for comfort.”

“You – you never asked!”

“Why would I? Everyone knew how useless you were.” Nie Mingjue turned back and raised up his saber once more. Unlike Nie Huaisang, he’d always liked saber training…or so Nie Huaisang had assumed, anyway, since he spent so much time on it. It belatedly occurred to him that he had no idea if Nie Mingjue actually enjoyed it or if he was merely being dutiful. “Even I knew. You were too busy drinking or clowning around or begging for help to pay attention to me already, so why would I add to your burdens, which were clearly too much for you…? I thought I was being considerate.”

He laughed, suddenly. It was a short, sharp sound.

“No, let us be honest: I thought you might learn to love me if I was self-reliant,” he said, and something cold slithered up Nie Huaisang’s spine. “If I was quiet and helpful, if I made myself into someone who could take the weight of the sect on my shoulders rather than yours – if I could be the reliable support you seemed to so desperately need, the one you were always running around after, the reason you were always not here…and in the end, it was all a lie.”

He smiled. It was not a smile.

“Mingjue –”

“Congratulations on your success, da-ge,” Nie Mingjue interrupted. “I wish you the joy of it. But in the meantime, will you please go? I’m busy now…and there’s no need to come back later. I don’t really think there’s very much for us to say to each other. Do you?”

#mdzs #nie huaisang #nie mingjue #my fic #my fics #alt headcanons #going to try to post a bunch today between errands #we'll see how successful I am/am not

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moonjxsung · 2 months

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STAR IM DEVASTATED so i have a priv twt acc right w some irls and this stay from stayville req-ed me a long time ago and i was soooo happy that i was mutuals w someone from stayville and i THOUGHT everything between us was cool? but today they unfollowed me and removed me as a follower and im devastated i dunno why they did that :((( i don't think they had a problem w me saying nsfw stuff cuz they previously tweeted things like "cancelling someone over saying smth nsfw abt an adult is stupid" and also ive seen them interact w nsfw minsung posts so i dunno if me tweeting smth like "i wanna suck flxs cock sooooo bad" couldve made them wanna break the mutual??? i dmed them too and i was like "heyy is there a reason you don't wanna be moots w me anymore </3" and not even minutes later they turned off their message perms and im devastated. its STUPID bcs they'd barely interact w me Sure but it felt nice to have a stay be my friend on my priv twt that's usually just for my irls and i </3 it's ironic that they did that too bcs just earlier today (before they broke the mutual) i noticed that my followers went down (i have a very low amt already. like. 25. not even joking) and i tweeted "yall dont wanan be friends w me anymore </3" bcs like. my followers are QUITE LITERALLY only my irls + a skz writer so i was (i think rightfully??) alarmed that the number went down!!!! man im just Sad about it and SIIIGH i know i shouldnt care so much bcs at the end of the day they're just a person online but the least they could've done was dm me back and explain why and GHFSDDSJHFKJADDSDSAAAAA you get me!?!! also im sorry i dropped this on you randomly feel free to ignore LMAAOOAOAO can i be 💫 anon? thank yew <3

(Adding 💫 to the anon list!!! Also fun fact that’s my favorite emoji of all time. Slay)

I feel like I’m the LAST person who should be giving advice abt this bc one of my mutuals and a very good friend of mine who I’d been talking to every day randomly blocked me on everything this week after me literally being there to console this person for every little thing and playing into this pretend homoerotic friendship we had even though she was clearly looking for another boyfriend and would get mad if I even called another girl pretty (???) I wish nothing but the absolute best for her but like…. The double standard is WILD. to not provide closure to a months-long friendship is just genuinely a very mean spirited thing to do imo.

(If she’s reading this, best of luck with everything and I hope you know I cared for you a lot more than you think I did. I distanced myself because you were clearly looking for someone to fill a void in your life that I could simply not fulfill, and I didn’t want to lead you on, nor be kept around like I wasn’t allowed to talk to other girls either. Regardless, I hope you know I used to sleep with my phone on full volume in case you called, and I deleted a page worth of poetry in my notes app for you I meant to deliver on your birthday. I also deleted your number so I have zero way of contacting you, but I will always be here if you need me. Take care and I love you always, I hope you still see me when you look up at the moon)

It’s not the first time I’ve lost an internet friend to the magical world of blocking, but fortunately the attitude I’ve developed towards it is that none of this is real!!! These are people on the internet miles away you’ve never met irl and they have no real impact in your life whether they remain following you or not. I’ve lost internet friends nearly a decade ago that I don’t even remember anymore. Better ones will come along!!! Especially stays! This fandom has so many beautiful remarkable people who are actually worth following and they wouldn’t cut you off like that. Sending so many positive vibes your way and I KNOW that the universe will send you some better mutuals. In the meanwhile I will be your internet bestie and I would never unfollow you for nsfw content or without some form of an explanation. And I also want to suck Felix’s dick. 🩷🫶

(I love you, don’t be so hard on yourself!!!! You’re wonderful, angel 🩷 anyone would be lucky to be moots with you)

#💫 anon #ask

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girlwithfish · 5 months

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tbh I think you should share with his mom some of the details of the horrible things he said and did to you, send her a message or something. he deserves punishment for the suffering he forced upon you and everyone should know what an abusive piece of trash he is, they shouldn't have to believe his lies.

yeah i agree! i just dont really trust that his family or ppl who know him more than me will really believe me. ive seen how he talks to cops and bystanders and his family about me he manipulates them easily. its easy to tell them im unwell and im the one with bpd and hes doing x y and z to keep me safe or bc im not well or he always has an excuse its scary and ppl have believed him. i lost respect and any trust in his mom after i tried reaching out to her twice that week or two leading up to the breakup where the first time she basically said He doesnt want u to leave bc of the state ur in hes concerned for u xo. i probably downplayed it a bit bc i didnt wanna be like he shoved me in a closet when i was having a panic attack and a breakdown sobbing and crying and so distressed bc he physically prevented me from leaving the room and apartment. she didnt care that i had to run out of the apartment to use a strangers phone. basically after a while of arguing outside w him and his mom on the phone w two strangers there using one of their phones she just told us to take it inside and the lady whose phone i was using walked me back into the apartment with him lmfao. she just believes his story idk. second time i had him call her bc i thought shed comvince him to give me my phone back this was the night i left i was pretty firm abt breaking up and saying i wanted to leave he wouldnt let me lol. idk what she said think she suggested he give me my phone back but he just hung up on her lol. i begged him to call 911 or smth bc he took my phone and hid my laptop and i was terrified to be inside there w him w nothing and no 3rd party and he wouldnt at first and then when i said im gonna just walk out (its impossible for me to just grab my car keys to MY car btw and leave bc he will stop me and we will fight over the keys.) he said ok u can but ill call the cops on u. so lol. Idk. i feel i will come off as vindictive or smth if i try to do that i dont really have faith or trust in her and i think i just need to protect myself. i just really doubt she'd believe me idk if itd be a good idea even though i am tempted a lot :/ just sucks cuz ik hes spreading a weird narrative to his whole family. probably leaving out all the abuse or justifying why he would prevent me from leaving my own house. idk! lol. it keeps me up cuz it really fucking bothers me how skewed and distorted his view is how hes telling me hes not an abuser and all tbe downplaying saying im pretending hes one i just hate it so fucking much

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