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octoberclidan · 5 months

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This isn't You

Request: I've got this Supernatural idea for some time now and I guess I thought today would be the day ne being brave and sending you a request. I hope you doing fine. I love your stories so much and most of them I read already more than once=) so, sorry in advance, cause I'm a huuuge simp for drama, angst and hurt im case there will be a happy ending :D

Sam and female reader are in a relationship (don't know if I see the reader as a hunter or if she only helps them out with the research). After a hunt, Sam behaves weird towards his girlfriend, but that only when they're alone. In front of Dean Sam is the normal towards her. But when they're alone, it starts with him being distant. And gets worse when he's rude to her, shoving her out of the way etc. She talks to Dean about it, but he can't really belive it, cause he doesn't notice a change in his brother. Bit by bit she gets afraid of Sam and his behavior is getting worse when he is getting also physically rude to her (bruise her etc) and she's also desperate cause Dean doesn't belive her. During one night Sam seems to have a nightmare and hurts her really bad (choking and hitting or something like that), that Dean wakes up from the screaming and protects reader from Sam. So I imagine a witch cursed Sam and now they need to find the remedy and protect reader from Sam. Maybe you like to add after they cured him she's still afraid of Sam and flinches whenever he gets near her, afraid he's still the bad Sam. And it's hard work for Sam to gain her trust and overcome her trauma he being so evil to her.

Pairing: Sam Winchester x Reader

Masterlist

Story:

[Y/N] was sitting in the back of the Impala with several books laid out beside her on witches, and the two Winchester brothers were in the front, Dean driving, Sam flicking through a book of his own. It was a sunny day, and the windows were down just enough to let some cooler air in, but not enough to mess with the pages in the books.

"You sure it's a witch and not a wraith?" Dean asked, looking in the rearview mirror at [Y/N] and then glancing at Sam. "We've seen this kind of thing before, something sucking the life out of people in nursing homes or hospitals. Several times actually".

"It's definitely a witch", [Y/N] said, turning a page in her book. "It's one specific witch".

"Okay, yeah, but how do you know?"

"Dude", Sam spoke up, looking over at his brother. "She explained it all this morning, did you really not listen to anything?"

"What, before I had coffee? C'mon Sammy, you both know not to try and talk to me before I've had coffee". He tapped the steering wheel before glancing back at [Y/N]. "Mind giving me the run down again Sweetheart?"

She sighed and rolled her eyes at him. Dean was like an older brother to her - she loved him, but he could be annoyingly bad at listening sometimes. She took a deep breath and began to retell her story. "A few years back I was on a case, thought it was a wraith in a nursing home out in the middle of Texas", she turned another page of her book, trying to keep her mind on something tangible, since this wasn't a story she liked her mind wandering to, and she'd already told it earlier that morning. "I was hunting with an old friend, it was before I met you two. When we got there, we couldn't find the wraith. Long story short, it turned out to be two witches, a man and a woman, sucking the lives out of the patients to extend their own. They killed my friend, just caught him completely off guard", she gulped back a lump in her throat and rubbed the book's page between her fingers. "I only managed to kill the woman. I just injured the guy and he took off before I could kill him. I've been hunting him ever since. I think he's taunting me. He has this... signature. He reports unusually high numbers of deaths in nursing homes in small towns, I guess when he's getting close to moving on, to the local newspapers, and he always gives his name as 'Ross Murphy'", she looked out of the window of the car. "That was my friend's name".

Sam looked around at her and reached back to grab her hand, which she graciously took. She'd been in a relationship with Sam for several months now and she couldn't ask for a more caring boyfriend. His capacity for empathy and love after everything he'd seen, everything he'd been through, was extraordinary. "She follows the lead every time it comes up, which isn't very often", Sam continued for her. "Usually it takes too long, it's too far away and by the time she gets there he's long gone". He squeezed her hand. "But she caught the report the day it was released this time, today, and he's only a day's drive away. There's a real chance of getting him this time".

"Okay", Dean nodded and sat up straighter in his seat, gripping tighter onto the wheel with a new sense of determination. "This is your Yellow Eyes, we'll help you get him".

She managed a small smile and squeezed Sam's hand before letting go, nodding at him to let him know she was okay, and they went back to their reading.

***

After a quick stop at a motel to get a room and work out a plan, they made their way to the nursing home that had been named in the newspaper article. The witch would recognise [Y/N] straight away, he'd see her coming, so, even though [Y/N] wanted nothing more than to march inside and kill him, she'd agreed to wait in the car and let the boys go in first. She'd described him to them, and the plan was for them to locate him, let [Y/N] know if they found him, and then they'd get him into a room on his own and keep him distracted with FBI questions about the unusual deaths until [Y/N] made her way inside to face him.

She was trying to keep herself occupied by going through the different books she'd brought, and was just about to text them to ask for an update when she saw them walking towards the car. She was confused, an hour was a long time for them to find nothing, unless they'd decided to kill the witch themselves and leave her out of it. If it was the latter, she would not be happy with either of them. Dean got to the car first, opening up the driver's side and sliding into his seat. "Sorry [Y/N], he wasn't there. Handed in his resignation about two hours before we got here, he could be anywhere by now". Sam was quick to slide into his own seat.

"Sorry, I know you wanted this to be the time you got him", he gave her a sympathetic look and she sighed in disappointment.

"What were you doing in there for an hour?" She looked between both of them, and Sam spoke up.

"We decided to split up and do a sweep of the place just in case, ask some of the residents about him".

"Yeah", Dean said, "I spoke to a nurse there, she listed a few towns that she said he'd mentioned to her recently, so I'm thinking we can go through them, catch him before he leaves his signature". He put his hand into his inside pocket and pulled out his small notebook to hand back to [Y/N]. "What do you think? Want to go to the closest one on the list now?"

"Or we could head back to the bunker and regroup, keep an eye on death counts over the next few days in the nursing homes in those towns? I could call Charlie and get her help with coming up with some sort of monitor or notification system for that kind of thing. It would probably be more efficient than travelling around to all those different towns. I mean, some of them are pretty far apart". Sam suggested. The two boys waited for [Y/N] to say what she wanted to do. She was beyond disappointed that she'd missed him again, by such little time too.

"Can we just go back to the motel? I kind of just want to think it over".

"Sure, we can do that", Dean turned around to start up the engine, and Sam turned to face forward too. [Y/N] stared out of the window for the drive back, trying to keep her hopes up.

***

"Alright, you two out, I'll go grab some food", Dean said as they pulled up outside the motel. Sam and [Y/N] stepped out of the car, and she was too upset with how the hunt had gone that she didn't register the fact that Sam didn't wait for her, he just walked straight to the room. Sam always waited for her, he always wanted to walk with her, especially when he knew she was upset. She followed him through the door and set her bag down on the table.

"Can you put that somewhere else? We're going to eat at the table", Sam looked at her expectantly, and she was a bit taken aback by his tone, but picked her bag up and dropped it down on the floor beside one of the beds. "Thanks", he mumbled, looking through his own bag for a change of clothes. "I'm gonna shower". He turned and walked into the bathroom, locking it behind him. Sam always asked if she wanted to shower first, and he never locked the door when it was just the two of them. She stood in the middle of the room, wondering if she'd done something to annoy him, but she couldn't think of anything. She sat down at the table and stared out of the window, wondering what the chances were of them finding the witch before he made a report this time. Sam was quick in his shower, and when he came out he went straight to a bed, laying down on it and flicking through his notebook. After waiting a moment to see if he had anything to say, and he didn't, [Y/N] went for her shower.

When she emerged from the bathroom, Dean was back. The two of them were sitting at the table, taking food out of a bag. Sam looked up at [Y/N] and smiled, patting the chair beside him. "Dean got your favourite". Now even more confused at his sudden change in attitude, she hesitated, but walked over to take a seat beside him. He leaned his arm on the back of her chair and pulled the bag over for her to get her food out of.

"How are you doing now?" Dean asked, picking up a few fries. She shrugged, not really sure how she felt about how the day had gone. She felt Sam move his hand to her shoulder to give it a gentle squeeze.

"We'll get him. Trust me, with the three of us after him together for the first time, he doesn't stand a chance".

***

Sam remained his usual self for the rest of the evening, chatting with Dean and [Y/N]. He and [Y/N] shared a bed and Dean took the second bed like usual, and also like usual, Sam held [Y/N] close to his chest, stroking her back until she fell asleep. He seemed normal the following morning too, and when [Y/N] asked if they could go back to the bunker and work out the best strategy for hunting the witch down, both Sam and Dean were fully supportive.

However, once it got late enough and they'd all been sitting in the bunker's library for several hours looking through Dean's list and trying to figure out the best way to search for the witch, things changed again. Dean closed his laptop and announced that he was going to bed, and as soon as he left the room, Sam's demeanour changed almost instantly. He suddenly looked uncomfortable in his seat and closed his laptop too. "You going to bed too?" [Y/N] asked and he scoffed at her.

"I spent all of yesterday and all of today working on this case for you, and you're going to make a big deal out of me wanting to get some sleep?"

"What? No? Where's this coming from?" She asked, extremely confused by his defensiveness. She'd only asked if he was going to bed because then she'd call it a day too and join him.

"Come on, it's like I can never do enough to please you", he said as he stood up, tucking his laptop under his arm. He turned to leave but she stood up and grabbed his arm.

"Hey, wait. You can't just say that and then walk off!" She tried to turn him around but he shrugged her grip off his arm and continued to walk.

"Just do me a favour and sleep in your own bed tonight, I need a good night's sleep without you suffocating me". With that, he left. [Y/N] stood there with her mouth open, a wave of pain and nausea hitting her which she could most definitely describe as the feeling of rejection. She'd never officially moved into Sam's room, most of her stuff was in a room of her own, but she couldn't remember the last time she slept in there instead of in Sam's room.

"What's with the shouting?" Dean walked back into the room, now dressed in his MoL dressing gown. He walked past [Y/N] to grab his laptop, then walked back over to her. "[Y/N]? Why are you just standing there?" He looked down at her to wait for a response when he saw a tear escape from her eye. "Hey, what's wrong? Why were you shouting? Where's Sam?"

"He..." She swallowed and cleared her throat when her voice sounded shaky. "He told me to sleep in my own room tonight". Dean furrowed his eyebrows in confusion.

"Why? That doesn't sound like him".

[Y/N] shook her head in agreement. "I think I did something to piss him off, but I have no idea what".

"Maybe he's just tired. I'm sure he'll be all apologetic in the morning", Dean gently patted her shoulder. "Go get some sleep, I think we're all tired". He smiled at her reassuringly before leaving the room to head to his bed for the night. [Y/N] sighed, trying to believe Dean's words that Sam was just overtired and he'd be back to normal in the morning. It was difficult, he'd never acted like this towards her. Sure, he'd been annoyed at her before, but she always knew why - like if she'd taken too big of a risk on a hunt, or if she'd ganged up on him with Dean during a prank war and gone a bit too far, but this time, she couldn't think of anything she'd done wrong. She walked towards her room, which was closer than Sam's was so she didn't have to walk by his room, and sat down on her bed. She'd gone for naps in this bed occasionally when Sam wasn't around, but couldn't remember the last time she spent a night in it. It was cold, and the room didn't smell like Sam at all. She changed into pyjama shorts and one of Sam's old t-shirts that she found in the back of her closet, and got into bed. It took her a long time to fall asleep, thoughts of Sam wanting to break up with her floating around her mind.

***

For a moment when she first woke up, she forgot that she was in her own bed. She stretched, and when the other side of her bed was cold, the memory of going to sleep alone hit her, forcing her eyes open. She looked to her side, where she'd usually find Sam, and there was no one there. Sighing, she forced herself up to go and get dressed and ready for another day of research, trying to push her anxiety about Sam to the background of her thoughts.

Dean was in the kitchen when she walked in, a stack of bacon in front of him and a cup of coffee in his hand. He looked up at her as she walked over to the coffee machine. "Did you get some sleep?" He asked and she looked over to him and nodded.

"Yeah, I did actually", she grabbed her cup when it was ready and sat down opposite him. "Look, if you don't want to research today, please don't feel like you have to. This is my case, it's on me, I've been on it for years on my own and I can continue it like that". She figured if Sam was annoyed at having to work on this case, then Dean must be too.

"What're you talking about?" Dean mumbled through a mouth full of bacon before swallowing. "This is a case, we work cases, it's what we do. I can't start a case and then just give it up when we've barely done anything".

She was about to thank him when a noise caught her attention. She turned around to see Sam walking through the doorway and the blood instantly drained from her face, having no idea what he was going to say to her. He walked over to her and leaned down, pressing a kiss to her hairline. "Good morning", he smiled down at her and walked away to get his own coffee.

"Good... morning?" What was going on with him?

"You seem to be in a good mood", Dean remarked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah, had a good night's sleep, ready to get back into the research", Sam sat down beside [Y/N], his words stinging knowing he slept well without her. "You seem a bit quiet, are you alright?" He gently nudged [Y/N] with his shoulder, she just blinked at him. He turned to Dean to see his confused expression too. "What?" He chuckled uncomfortable, glancing between the two of them. "Do I smell or something?"

"Why are you acting so weird?" She shifted to face him properly. "One minute it's all gentle touches and smiles and then the next you're all annoyed and telling me that I'm suffocating you?"

Sam scoffed and furrowed his eyebrows at her. "What are you talking about? Did you have a bad dream or something?"

"Don't do that Sam. Don't fucking gaslight me". She glared at him and Dean shifted in his seat, clearly uncomfortable at sitting opposite the two of them right now. He cleared his throat and mumbled some sort of excuse before leaving the room.

"Get a grip [Y/N], no one's gaslighting you". He rolled his eyes and took a sip of his coffee, leaving [Y/N] staring at him with her eyes wide open. Sam continued to drink his coffee, not saying anything else.

"Okay", she took a deep breath. "This isn't you. You need to tell me what's going on Sam, you're scaring me".

"Scaring you?" He scoffed. "You're a sad excuse for a hunter if you're scared of a normal person".

"You're not acting normal right now. Not at all. You're being weirdly rude, Sam". She watched as he finished his coffee and stood up, leaving his mug in the sink and walking out of the room without replying to her. She sat there for a moment until Dean walked in, whistling one of his favourite songs. "What's wrong with him Dean?" She asked and he stood beside the table, folding his arms and looking down at her.

"What do you mean?"

"You saw how he was, pretending nothing was going on even though he told me to sleep alone last night".

"I mean..." He shrugged at her. "I just passed him in the hallway and he seemed fine, he said he spoke with Charlie and they're going to work out some sort of algorithm for tracking down this witch of yours".

"So you don't think he's being rude or mean at all?

"Rude or mean?" He chuckled. "This is Sam we're talking about. Like I said yesterday, he was probably just tired, but he's ready to get to work today and help with the case".

***

[Y/N] kept her distance from Sam for most of the day, electing to go out for a supply run and then research in her room. When the evening rolled around, Dean came to find her to tell her that he'd cooked dinner for the three of them, and she followed him out into the kitchen where Sam was already seated. He hadn't come to check on her once throughout the entire day, but just like in the motel, he patted the seat beside him and smiled at her, seeming like his usual self. Once again she pushed all of the strangeness to the back of her mind, and let herself enjoy the meal with the brothers. They discussed their findings from the research, Sam explained the system he'd set up and that as soon as any of the nursing homes in their list reported a higher than usual number of deaths, they'd be notified. The conversation moved on to reminiscing about other witch hunts, then moved to funny stories about strange hunts which left all three of them laughing and relaxed until late into the night.

[Y/N] had almost forgotten about Sam's coldness towards her as they walked down the hall to his room, hand in hand as Dean walked with them. "Night Dean", she smiled at him as he headed into his room, and she and Sam walked into Sam's room. Sam let go of her hand and closed the door behind them, then started to take his clothes off, stripping down to his boxers. [Y/N] took her clothes off too, leaving herself in her underwear, and they both got into the bed. Usually, Sam would pull her over and hold her until she fell asleep, but this time, he turned onto his side and faced away from her. Propping herself up on her elbow to look at him, she paused for a moment before saying something. "Sam?"

"What?"

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Just go to sleep, I'm tired".

[Y/N] lay down and listened as Sam started to softly snore. There was definitely something up with him. He'd never treated her like this before, and since Sam was big on communication and letting people know when he was annoyed, she really couldn't understand what was going on between them. She tried to close her eyes and fall asleep, but she couldn't. She felt uncomfortable in the bed, like she wasn't wanted there. After twenty or so minutes of lying there, she gave up. She slowly and carefully pushed the covers off and stepped out of the bed, her bare feet cold on the floor as she crept out of the room. She made her way to her own room and slid into her bed, pulling the covers up over herself and hugging her pillow tightly. She cried herself to sleep.

***

"[Y/N]? You awake?" Dean knocked on her door. She groaned and opened one eye, grabbing her phone to check the time. 6am.

"What?" She called back, yawning and stretching.

"Get ready to head out onto the road, Sam got a hit and it's only an hour's drive from here", Dean shouted through the door. Sam. As much as she wanted to get out there and find the witch, she didn't want to face Sam. He'd obviously been up and awake for awhile if he'd gotten a hit and had time to go and wake Dean up. He must have noticed that [Y/N] was no longer in his bed, yet he hadn't bothered to go search for her.

She was quick to get washed and dressed and out to the car, where both brothers were waiting for her. She slid into her usual seat in the back, behind Dean, and Sam turned around to smile at her. "Hey, missed you this morning, was everything okay?" He asked. She searched for any sign of deception on his face, but he seemed completely genuine.

"I slept in my own bed last night".

"How come?" He furrowed his eyebrows at her. She gave him the same look back but turned to look towards Dean's direction instead.

"You said it was an hour away?" She asked, avoiding Sam's gaze. Dean started up the car and nodded.

"Yep, so make sure you're prepared. If he's in there, we're gonna want to corner him quickly before he escapes". The three of them didn't speak for the entirety of the car ride, it was early and neither Dean nor [Y/N] were morning people, and Sam knew well enough not to try and treat them like they were.

Dean suggested using the same plan as last time; the Winchesters would go in first and then call [Y/N] if they found the witch. [Y/N] agreed, but she was even less happy about it than last time with how weird Sam had been acting. She wasn't sure what was going on with him, but she didn't exactly trust him 100% at the moment. She waited in the car all but five minutes before deciding to go in after them.

She was greated by a nurse at the front desk, and she asked which way her partners had gone. After the nurse showed her that they had turned left down a hallway, she thanked the nurse and made her way down the hallway, smiling at an old woman on the way who said hello to her. She checked a few of the rooms along the hallway, but three were empty and one just had an elderly man with his family visiting. She reached the end of the hallway and found a staircase. When she reached the top, she was faced with another hallway. She stopped when she reached the first door on the left, which was ajar. She peaked inside and her heart instantly started to race. He was there. The witch was standing at the window, and when he heard her come in, he smirked at her. "It's been a long time", he said. She instantly pulled out her gun and pointed it at him. "Well, that's a bit rude of you", he sniggered and took a step towards her. "Why don't we try and have some manners? We haven't even introduced ourselves. You don't know my name, do you?"

"I don't give a fuck what your name is". She ground her teeth together. "You killed my friend".

"Ah... yes. He was your friend. Not exactly a fair trade, was it?" He looked back outside the window. "I noticed after I'd killed him that your friend had a wedding band, but you didn't".

"Yeah, his wife and kids were devastated. I had to give them the news". She took a step towards him. "And now I'm going to kill you".

"And they call me a monster", he chuckled. "My victims, my patients, are nearing the ends of their lives. They're in pain, they're lost in their own minds. I put them out of their misery. We put them out of their misery. You killed her. You stabbed her, you pushed her out a window, and she died a painful death. Are we really so dissimilar?" He faced her again and raised an eyebrow at her. "I killed your friend, but you killed my partner, my love, my life. Why shouldn't I do the same to you? Would I not be justified, taking him from you, making you suffer?" He looked over the top of her head with a smirk, and she glanced back to find the door being pushed open wider, and Sam walking through, instantly raising his gun and shooting. When she looked back, the witch was gone.

"Don't tell me you were in here having a conversation with him", Sam snarled.

"I was just about to shoot him when you walked in", she went to walk over to where the witch had been standing, but Sam shoved her out of the way, making her stumble and fall against the wall. She grabbed her arm, a sharp pain resonating from her wrist up to her shoulder. "What the hell Sam?!" She shouted at him, but Sam was ignoring her, looking at the space that the witch had been in looking out the window. He turned to her, his jaw clenched and nostrils flaring; she'd never seem him look so angry. He walked over to her, looking down at her and pointing his finger at her. "If you're going to stop to have a chat with every monster we hunt then we won't have space for you on our team. Get your priorities straight, fucking ridiculous". He scoffed. She cowered beneath him, Sam was a large and intimidating man, and being on the receiving end of his anger was terrifying, even for an experienced hunter. "I'm going to find Dean and tell him you fucked up, we're going back to the bunker". He didn't give her a chance to respond before leaving the room.

***

The car ride back to the bunker was weird. Well, Sam was weird. Dean didn't seem too bothered by the witch escaping, he just started to hum along to his music. Sam kept turning around to ask [Y/N] if she was okay since she was quiet. He asked if her wrist was okay after she tripped. Tripped. She didn't know what to say to him, any time she brought up how mean he'd been to her, he acted confused and so did Dean. It was like they thought something weird was going on with her. She didn't know if it was an act, or if he genuinely was completely oblivious to how he'd been behaving. She ignored him as she stared out of the window, thinking over what the witch had said to her. 'Would I not be justified, taking him from you, making you suffer?' She definitely had been suffering over the last few days, and she felt like Sam was being taken from her.

She was quick to get out of the car and go to her room, ignoring Sam's attempts at following after her. She closed the door behind her and lay back on her bed, wondering how on earth she was going to convince Dean that something was wrong with Sam. She decided to call Charlie, since she knew she'd been working with Sam on the notification system, to see if she noticed anything off about him. After a long talk (rant) on the phone about Sam, [Y/N] came to the conclusion that he was completely normal with everyone except towards her, and only when he was alone with her. She'd have to make sure that Dean was around until she figured out how to fix things, because after he'd pushed her and hurt her in the nursing home, she was scared of Sam.

She kept herself locked away in her room until well into the evening. Her stomach was rumbling, and when it got late enough for the likelihood of Sam being in the kitchen to be low, she ventured out into the hallway. She walked quietly down the corridor to the kitchen, and breathed a sigh of relief when it was empty. She quickly got to work, making something that was quick and easy so she could get back to her room. She felt ridiculous, she was anxious about her boyfriend walking into the room. If she couldn't figure out what was wrong with him, she knew she'd have to leave. She couldn't stay in the bunker like this, she couldn't live in fear of someone she loved.

***

It was late at night when she'd finished eating in her room, and she left to go clean up her plate and cutlery in the kitchen. She'd only taken a few steps out of her room when Sam strolled around the corner, bumping into her. "Shit sorry- oh. It's you. Watch where you're going, will you?" He rolled his eyes and shoved past her, but she grabbed his arm.

"Can we -" She was cut off by Sam grabbing her arm and ripping it off his. He pushed her back against the wall, the same sore wrist being the first part of her to hit the wall. She cried out in pain and slid down the wall, cradling her arm as tears started to spill from her eyes.

"Don't touch me", he snarled at her. "God you're so pathetic, crying on the floor. Get over yourself". He walked down the hallway to his room, leaving her there alone. She sat there, staring after him yet again, and just let herself cry. All of the pain, confusion, coldness, rudeness, the roughness, just crashed down on her. She couldn't help it.

"Hey, hey what happened?" Suddenly Dean was crouching down in front of her, pushing her hair out of her face and pulling her chin up to face him. "Shit, [Y/N] tell me what's wrong". He'd never seen her this upset before. Even when hunts went wrong, or she'd been injured by a monster and needed stitches or a trip to the ER, she'd never cried this much. When she continued to cry he gently grabbed her shoulders. "Breathe [Y/N], come on, you're okay". When she gave no sign of calming down, Dean looked down the hallway before looking back at her. "Okay, I'll get Sam".

"No!" She shouted, grabbing onto his flannel with her uninjured hand. "No, please", she sniffed, "please don't". He gave her a look of confusion but nodded.

"Right. You need to explain what's going on though, like right now".

"I... I think my wrist is broken", she looked down at it, it was definitely red and swollen, and if she tried to move it even slightly, a sharp stinging sensation ran throughout her hand and arm. She looked up at him, blinking the tears out of her eyes. "Could you maybe drive me to the hospital?"

"Yeah of course, and you definitely don't want me to get Sam?"

"Definitely not, he broke my wrist Dean. He pushed me, and not for the first time. I can't be around him, not like how he is. I know you don't see it, I know he seems normal to you, but I'm telling you. There's something wrong with him". She explained as he helped to get her up off the ground. They walked towards the car and she explained exactly what Sam had done and said to her over the last few days, and what the witch had said too.

They spoke about it on the way to the hospital, and Dean told her that he believed her, that he would help her figure it all out and that he would confront Sam about it later without [Y/N]. "You're like a little sister to me, and I know it sounds like a lie coming from me but I don't give a shit if it's Sam or if it's Lucifer that's hurting you, I won't allow it". He pulled up into a parking space before turning to her. "I'm sorry you've had to deal with this and I'm sorry I dismissed you when you tried telling me about it before. I'll help you".

"Thanks", she smiled at him. Dean really was like an older brother to her too, and now that she had someone on her team, especially Dean of all people, protecting her, she was a little bit less scared of going home.

***

"Okay, you should be good to go in just a minute. I'll write you up a prescription for some pain killers and then you can go on home", the doctor smiled kindly at [Y/N] as she finished up putting a cast on her wrist. She had a fractured wrist, not too bad, but it was still throbbing. The doctor left the room and [Y/N] turned to Dean, who'd been sitting patiently with her during the assessment.

"You remember when we went to the first nursing home, and the witch wasn't there?" [Y/N] asked, and Dean nodded. "Did you say you and Sam stuck together or did you say you split up?"

"We looked around the place together, but then split up when talking to the nurses and some of the residents", Dean said. "How come?"

"Just something the witch said. I think maybe he was there, and I think he may have done something to Sam", [Y/N] bit her lip, Sam being the only thing on her mind for days now.

"You think he's cursed?" Dean sat up a bit straighter. "I'll check his room and coat pockets for hexbags when we get back", he nodded.

"Yeah, that would be good. What if it's not a hexbag though? What if it's something we need the witch to undo?"

"Then we'll find the son of a bitch and make him fix it. There's no way in hell I'm letting Sam walk around cursed for the rest of his life", Dean scoffed. "One way or another we'll get him back to normal, I promise".

"Okay", the doctor walked back into the room with a prescription in hand, interrupting their cinversation. "You can fill this at the station downstairs, you'll pass it by on your way out", she handed the piece of paper to [Y/N]. "Come back and see me in six weeks, we'll get that off you and you'll be good as new", she smiled.

"Thank you", [Y/N] nodded and stood up, Dean standing with her and moving to shake the doctor's hand. The two of them left to fill the prescription and drive home. [Y/N] quietly hoped that Dean would find a hexbag and destroy it, and that would be the end of all her problems, but she knew not to let her hopes get too high. It was never that simple.

***

Dean didn't find any hexbags. He did however have a conversation with Sam, who seemed completely oblivious to how he'd been behaving when alone with [Y/N]. He told Dean that he thought [Y/N] was acting weird, he thought she wanted to break up with him because she'd been sleeping alone and avoiding him during the day. He was horrified when Dean told him about her wrist, and he went to apologise to her but Dean stopped him. Sam wasn't allowed to be alone with [Y/N] until they found the witch, and [Y/N] wasn't too enthusiastic about being around Sam even with Dean there. Sam respected her wishes, even though it felt like he was being stabbed through the heart, and kept to himself, only coming out of his room when [Y/N] texted him to say she was in her room and wasn't going to accidentally bump into him. They texted a little bit, and Sam was sweet through text, but it wasn't the same. She missed him. She missed his touch.

It was a week of this arrangement before Sam got a notification about another possible nursing home, and the three of them wasted no time in setting out onto the road. They suffered through yet another silent journey, this one nearly the entire day before they stopped in a motel for the night. [Y/N] had asked for two rooms, not wanting to share with Sam, but there was only one room left.

"I'll take the couch", she said quickly and she dropped her bag down onto it, noting that there were only two beds. Sam looked at her, a mixture of pleading and guilt in his eyes, but he didn't say anything. She avoided his gaze as she pulled out a towel and her pyjamas. "I'm gonna shower and then get some sleep, Dean will you be here when I get out?" She asked, not being able to address Sam without visions of him snarling at her.

"I think we'll take a look at the local bar, Sammy hasn't been out in awhile, right Sam?" He asked, raising an eyebrow at him. This was their silent conversation about how they figured [Y/N] would fall asleep more easily if she had the room to herself.

"Okay", she gave him a small smile, "Don't stay out too late". She finally looked at Sam and his eyes widened in surprise. "We want to have all of our energy to fix things tomorrow". She quickly walked to the bathroom and closed the door before Sam could say anything back. She sighed as she leaned back against the door, listening to the low rumble of the brothers talking briefly before she heard the room's door open and close. She pushed herself off the door and looked at herself in the mirror. "We'll find him tomorrow. We'll get Sam back to normal, it will all be okay", she tried to convince herself, but she didn't sound very convincing.

***

It took a long time for [Y/N] to fall asleep on the couch that night. It wasn't comfortable, there was noise coming from the TV in the room next door, and it was cold. She'd become so used to cuddling up to Sam whenever they were away on hunts that she'd forgotten how cold she could feel without him. It was late into the night when she fell asleep, and when Sam and Dean came back. They were both tired, and Sam instinctively walked over to [Y/N] and kneeled down, noticing that she'd pushed her cover off in her sleep, he grabbed it and gently pulled it back over her. He leaned towards her to kiss her forehead, and he sighed as he smelled her familiar shampoo in her hair. He brought his hand up to brush against her cheek and push her hair out of the way, realising that it had been too long since he'd properly seen her face.

Dean had drank quite a bit at the bar, and mixed with his tiredness from driving all day, he didn't think twice about walking into the bathroom and locking the door behind him, leaving Sam alone with [Y/N]. As soon as the door locked, Sam's hand in [Y/N]'s hair tightened, gripping a handful of it. She gasped as she woke up and tried to grab his hand, but he instantly covered her mouth with his free hand. At first when she looked at him, she thought a stranger had walked into the room. There was no resemblance of the Sam she knew and loved in the man in front of her. He looked angry, dangerous, and he was far too close to her.

"You", he snarled and shook his head. "You disgust me". She desperately tried to pull his hand off her mouth, but with one hand in a cast it was proving too difficult. She had no idea where Dean was, and she was terrified. "You're so fucking pathetic, having Dean act as a bodyguard for you, to keep you safe in your own home. You can't even look at me without terror in your eyes, I don't know how I ever liked you. I don't know why I ever wanted you. Maybe I didn't, maybe you were just there, and easy". He tightened his grip in her hair and pushed her down into the couch. "Life was better before you. Did I ever tell you that? When it was just me and Dean, I had my own room, my own space, and I wasn't constantly distracted on hunts by having my 'girlfriend' there, slowing us down". His grip in her hair suddenly let up, and she was confused until his hand travelled down to her neck and he began to apply pressure. "Life will be better when you're gone too".

She tried to scream, to bite his hand, to push him away, but Sam was far stronger than she was. She was becoming lightheaded, she couldn't breathe, and Sam's face was starting to become clouded by dark spots. She didn't hear Dean shouting, and she didn't know when Sam's touch turned to Dean's. Dean shook her shoulders and his hand cupped her cheek, but she couldn't open her eyes. "Come on", he said, leaning his face down to try and hear her breathing. "Come back to us, [Y/N]", he pleaded.

"D...Dean?" She whispered, her eyes still closed.

"Yes, it's me, you're safe, I promise. Can you open your eyes for me please?"

"Is Sam here?" She asked. "I-" She cleared her throat and it burned. "I don't want to see him".

"Okay, okay, you don't have to. Give me one minute". Dean looked behind himself at Sam, who was sitting on one of the beds staring at his hands in disbelief and confusion. "Sam", Dean said lowly, and caught his attention. He stuck his hand into his pocket and pulled out his keys, throwing them to Sam. "Hotel Winchester tonight". [Y/N] waited until she heard the door open and close again before she opened her eyes. She found Dean looking down at her, his face flooded with concern. "Do we need to go to the hospital?" His finger traced lightly on her neck, and he frowned at the red fingerprints left behind by Sam. She shook her head, and reached up to grab his hand in hers. As soon as he looked into her eyes, she began to cry. She couldn't help it. The person she loved most in the world had just tried to kill her. She knew he was cursed, she knew this wasn't really him, but it was his face, his voice, and he wasn't possessed, there was no one else inside him.

Dean pulled her up and into his chest, his hand resting on the back of her head as she wrapped her arms around his waist. He gently rocked her back and forth as she let it all out, whispering soothing things to her, trying to convince her, and himself, that they'd fix everything in the morning.

***

[Y/N] was alone when she woke up the following morning, and she was no longer on the couch, but in one of the beds. She looked around and noticed that the bathroom door was open, it didn't sound like anyone was in there. Her eyes landed on a piece of paper on the table beside the couch, and she got out of bed to see what it said.

You need to rest. We've got this. Call me if you need anything. - Dean

She put it down and looked out of the window. It was raining, the sky was a dark grey and it looked cold, but she didn't feel as cold as she had during the night. She looked down and realised her hands were covered by the sleeves of a flannel that was too big for her. She recognised it as Dean's. She must have cried herself to sleep in his arms, and he must have put her to bed after. She hugged herself and sat down at the table, staring at the note. She stared at the note until the sky lightened and the rain stopped, until the rumble of the Impala filled her ears and headlights flashed through the window, pulling her from dark thoughts. They were back.

She braced herself as the door opened, and she watched Dean walk in. She knew Sam was standing just out of sight, but he didn't come inside. Dean walked over to her and crouched down to look up at her. "Hey", she said. Her throat was still sore, and her voice was hoarse.

"Hey", Dean smiled at her. He glanced at the door and cleared his throat before looking back at her. "We killed the witch. I know you wanted to do it, but we cornered him, and it was the only way to break the curse".

"He's dead?" She looked into Dean's eyes, and all she could see was uncertainty. He had no idea how she was going to react or what was going on inside her head.

"He's dead. You were right, he cursed Sam in that first nursing home. Sam didn't remember it until we killed the witch. And uh..", he glanced at the door again. "And Sam should be back to normal, but we can't really test that without you".

"Yeah", she took a shaky breath. "He hurt me".

"I know. If you don't want to test it today, we don't have to. I won't leave you alone with Sam until you're ready, okay?" He gently squeezed her knees and she nodded her head.

"I want to try it now".

Dean raised his eyebrows in surprise. He could see Sam fidgeting out of the corner of his eye, trying to listen. "Are you sure?" Dean asked her.

"Yes. You can tell him he can come inside".

Before Dean could even call Sam, he stepped inside. He stood awkwardly in the doorway, desperately wanting to run over to her and gather her up in his arms, but he knew he couldn't. He suddenly felt more clear-headed than he had since the first nursing home. It was like he'd been in some sort of trance, and now he could remember everything he'd said and done to [Y/N] while they'd been alone. "Hey", he said.

"Hi", she said back.

"How do you want to do this? Want me to leave now or do you want me to stay for a bit first?" Dean asked, standing up from his crouching position.

"You can leave now, but can you just stay outside and not go anywhere?" She asked, and Sam nodded in agreement, scared of himself now too.

"Of course. I'll be right outside if you need me". He leaned down to kiss the top of her head before he walked over to Sam and patted his back. He left the room, and for a few moments neither Sam or [Y/N] moved.

"I don't feel... angry or anything", Sam said, his voice slightly shaky.

"That's good", [Y/N] nodded. 'Do you.. um.. feel like you're annoyed at me?"

"No", Sam shook his head. "I only feel love for you". He clenched his jaw in anticipation of what [Y/N] had to say to him. He was extremely anxious that she was about to break up with him and tell him that she never wanted to see him again. He never wanted to see himself again now that he remembered everything he'd done.

[Y/N] let out a cautious sigh of relief. "Sam-".

"[Y/N] I am so sorry", he blurted out, and for the first time, she looked him in the eyes and saw tears threatening to spill over. He was her Sam again. "I... I have no idea how to fix it, I love you, please believe me that I never would have hurt you if I wasn't cursed".

"I know. I knew there was something wrong with you, I knew you would never want to hurt me. I'm not angry with you, and I still love you". She gave him a small smile, but she could feel a lump in her throat as she swallowed back her nervousness.

"Thank you", he took a step towards her, but she flinched back and he froze in his spot.

"Sorry", she mumbled, looking down. "I do still love you, but I need some time. You... cursed you", she corrected herself, "tried to kill me last night".

"You're right", he took a step back again. "Yeah, you take all the time you need, and when you.. I mean, if you want to be around me again, I'll be here".

"Thank you. I've missed you a lot. And thanks for killing the witch, I've been hunting him for so many years, I can't believe he's finally dead".

"He won't be hurting anyone else. Or cursing anyone else", Sam added. He walked over to the door and opened it, signalling for Dean to come back in.

"All good?" Dean asked as he stepped inside, and both Sam and [Y/N] nodded. "Great!" Dean clapped his hands together. "How about getting some food? On me", he winked at [Y/N] and she smiled, getting up to walk over to them but still keeping a distance between her and Sam.

***

[Y/N] kept her distance for the next few weeks. She continued to sleep in her own room, though not very well as her nights were often accompanied by nightmares of Sam trying to kill her. She still spent more time with Dean and kept to herself a lot, but she had begun warming up to Sam more. She no longer flinched whenever he moved suddenly, or whenever he got too close. She no longer hurried to leave a room whenever he walked in. It was a painfully slow process, for both of them, but it was getting better. Sam respected her space, but was no longer too anxious to make small talk with her over breakfast, or discussing something with her while researching.

It was a cool, early morning when [Y/N] woke up from her first night's sleep that went without a nightmare. She felt refreshed and relaxed for the first time since the curse. She took her time getting up, enjoying the warmth under her covers before starting the day. When her stomach started to rumble, she pushed her covers back and quickly slid into her slippers and wrapped her dressing gown around herself. She strolled to the kitchen and paused in the doorway. Sam was at the sink, washing up. She leaned against the doorway and watched as he worked, and she felt no anxiety or fear as he stepped back for a moment to shake his hands dry and grab another mug to clean.

"Hey", she finally said, and he looked around at her.

"Hey, good morning". He smiled and nervously tucked his hair behind his ear, getting it wet in the process. [Y/N] giggled at him and his cheeks turned pink as he turned back around to turn the water off. She took a deep breath and stepped down into the kitchen. She walked over to him as he was drying his hands, and wrapped her arms around his waist, tucking herself into his side. He lifted his arm up and looked down at her, and not being able to help the smile spreading across his face, he lowered his arm down around her shoulders. She took a deep breath, his familiar scent bringing back memories of the two of them cuddling up together, and she relaxed into him. He turned so that she was in front of him, and he brought his other hand up to thread his fingers through her hair, holding her to his chest. He leaned his chin on top of her head and closed his eyes. His heart was beating quickly, but it was out of excitement instead of worry. "This is nice", he breathed out, and he felt her nod and tighten her grip around his waist.

"Do you have plans for today?" She asked, looking up at him and leaning her chin against his chest. He looked down at her and shook his head. "Can we just hang out today? Maybe watch a movie or something?"

"Yes. Of course, whatever you want to do, I'm here".

"Sam?"

"Yeah Sweetheart?"

"Can you kiss me?"

He smiled as he leaned down, and she leaned up on her toes to meet him halfway. The kiss was gentle, and neither of them could help but moan into it. [Y/N] slid her hands up to Sam's shoulders, while he let his hands drop down to her waist. When they broke away, [Y/N] could see nothing but adoration in his eyes. "I really missed you", she said.

"I love you [Y/N]. The witch gave me an insight into what it would be like to lose you, and I never want it. I don't want to feel like I have over the last few weeks again, and I never want you to be afraid of me again. I promise that I will love you and keep you safe for as long as I live". There was no hint of uncertainty in his voice, he meant every word.

"I love you too". She said, meaning every word too.

The end

Sam Winchester taglist: @123passwort @janineb86 @hobby27 @angelwiththeshotgun @pizzagirlxnsfwx

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sarcasticlcves · 8 months

Text

Dating The TVDU Women Includes

Katherine Pierce:

You knowing her since 1491

Katherine turning you into a vampire, so you could both be together "forever"

Her being severely protective over you

Stefan and Damon going after you to get to her

You and Katherine both being chased by Klaus for 500 some years

Being shocked when Nadia (Katherine's daughter) shows up looking for Katherine

Comforting Kath when Nadia gets bitten by Tyler and is slowly dying

Both of you being stabbed with the traveler knife and dying together

A/n~ I cried making this one. I miss my bby Kathy 😭💔

Hayley Marshall:

You being a werewolf/witch hybrid

Klaus threatening you to not hurt his little or littlest wolf or you won't be able to see the light of day again

Being a stepmom/mentor to Hope

"When I said give it your all and punch me in the stomach, I didn't actually mean it Hope!" "Sorry mama..."

Being besties with Rebekah and Freya

Hayley being super cuddley

Her being super protective of you. Even going as far as to threaten Klaus and Elijah

"If I hear that you two idiots lay a single finger on y/n, I will personally bite your heads off! Got it?!"

*Klaus and Elijah nodding, scared for their fucking lives* "we got it" "we won't touch her, we promise"

Being present when Hayley throws herself and Greta into the burning sun

Despising Elijah after that day and never forgiving him (I hated Elijah after that. I don't care if he didn't have his memories or what)

Only staying in the Mikaelson family compound for Hope's sake

When Klaus died, you adopted Hope and moved to mystic falls so she could enroll in the Salvatore school

Raising Hope because you knew that's what Hayley would want for her

Hope Mikaelson:

Being a Tribrid like Hope

Knowing her since you both were little kids

Hope being very closed off and distant with you at first

Her slowly opening up and being more vulnerable with you as time passes

Hope being a very affectionate person behind closed doors

Hope being super overprotective

This bby also gets very jealous very quick

You being best friends with Lizzie and Hope despising your guys friendship

Dark! Tribrid! Hope Mikaelson:

When Hope goes full dark Tribrid, you were by her side through all of it

Even when she snapped Lizzie's neck right infront of you

When Lizzie got sired to Hope you got jealous and protective reallll quick

You even went as far as to kill your own girlfriend to break the bond between them both

And let's just say Hope was not happy when she woke up...

"You killed me because you were jealous?! Fine, let's see how you like getting your neck broken"

After all the arguing you two weren't on the best terms

Hope distanced herself from you a lot and her trust in you went to 0%

Yeah, I wouldn't recommend dating dark! Tribrid! Hope and pissing her off...

Lizzie Saltzman:

Being a Tribrid

Lizzie siphoning from you a lot

You being very protective of this sweet, sensitive little baby

You helping her through her episodes

Being present when Lizzie wakes up and turns into a Heretic

You having to teach Lizzie everything she could possibly know about vampires

Lizzie being very clingy and vulnerable with you

Going on a rampage when you find out Lizzie was sired to Hope

"I swear I will gut you like a fish Mikaelson!"

"Baby...calm down please.."

Hope knowing to not mess with Lizzie while your around

Jade Salvatore:

You and Jade both being stuck in the prison world together

Her humanity flickering when she's around you

She's VERY possessive

Not to mention jealous

You despising Kai Parker

"Oh, would ya look at that. I get to gut you again today"

"Well shit-"

A/n~ i didn't really have many idea's for Jade, so this was all I could come up with

#katherine pierce x reader #katherine pierce #hayley marshall x reader #hayley marshall #hope mikaelson x reader #hope mikaelson #lizzie saltzman x reader #lizzie saltzman #jade salvatore x reader #jade salvatore

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bugs1nmybrain · 8 months

Text

L Lawliet x Chubby!Reader NSFW

Minors Don't Interact (18+)

Warnings: NSFW, weight/body insecurities, fem-reader, chubby reader as the title suggests, disordered eating habits, reader fat-shames herself, the reader has been attempting to lose weight, unprotected sex, lots of kissing, vanilla?, finger sucking, blowjob, pussy eating, squirting, body worship themes, dom L, the reader comes from a low/lower middle-class background, fingering, L is probably a little out of character (he's just more of a sweetheart than canon L), L might be triggering? He tries to be nice to the reader about eating but may come across as inconsiderate?, Misa is mentioned once, L doesn't really know how to be emotionally supportive but he's trying his best!!!, cheesy ending

I kind of had a hard time getting through this prompt because I struggle a lot with weight and disordered eating. It was meant as a self-affirming fic but the first half of this was triggering for me to write. I hope it's good.

Buying this stupid scale was probably the worst decision you could've made for yourself. In your mind, you assumed that getting one would encourage you to lose weight and that you could document what eating and exercise habits helped you lose more. You were excited, even, but as soon as you stepped on it your excitement turned into hate.

It wasn't like you weren't trying. You've read as many articles as you could on what diets would give you the quickest results. You've also tried exercising plenty. On the worst days, you didn't eat much at all. However, it seemed like no matter what your efforts were, you had little success. It was unfair. You couldn't help but feel envious of girls in the mall who would wear outfits you could never picture yourself in. Being at the beach made you furious as well. It was like you'd never be enough, never like them.

Your phone buzzed with a text from L. He was requesting your company for dinner at his current residence. L, as distant as he seemed, was very fond of you. He was a very busy guy, so the time between you two was limited, but he did indeed try to put in an effort to spend as much time together as he could squeeze in. Meals were often a safe time for him.

You had about an hour to be there, so you tried to prepare a nice outfit to wear. Nothing looked good, though. It was hard finding clothes that looked good on you. You hardly found any clothes that looked proportionately correct on you. It was an endless battle.

Eventually, you gave up and settled with a black turtleneck and jeans. Watari picked you up and drove you to L's. When you arrived, you made your way through the security procedures, though you didn't have to do much as L trusted you enough to waive some of the more complicated screenings.

You walked into a beautiful dining room with a table of well-prepared offerings. A lot of it was typical dinner food, but a good portion was also sweets, as L didn't partake in normal eating habits.

L sat down at the end of the table and caught your eye as you walked in. You were embarrassed, honestly. Before dating him, you weren't used to a finer lifestyle. Coming into a fancy residence like this was beyond you. You felt out of place, but L made you feel at home in the unfamiliar atmosphere. He gave you a gentle smile as you sat down on the chair to his left.

"You look beautiful," he comments with an inviting impression.

"You think so? I thought this was a little plain-looking."

"I suppose it's a casual outfit, but nonetheless, you look lovely in it," he beams.

"Thank you," you blush in response.

"Of course. Are you hungry?"

Urg. You supposed by definition, you were. You hadn't had much to eat today other than your three cups of coffee and a very light breakfast. You hated questions like this. You simply nodded, feeling torn.

"Please, help yourself. I made sure to acquire your favorites."

This was awful, and you felt incredibly uncomfortable. You didn't want to disappoint or sadden him. L clearly put in effort for this, but you were so afraid of gaining weight. There was a lot of food, and you assumed he expected you to be generous with your portions.

You did what you could and took what you thought was enough food to not upset him but also not too much that you felt like a glutton. Even with this, though, you felt like you took too much (in reality, you didn't take enough).

The food was great, meals with L never failed to impress.

"Would you like dessert, love?"

Oh no.

You expected it, given L. He absolutely loved sharing sweets with you and it was one of the ways he knew how to display care for you. The treats were always delicious, and you were grateful, but the fact that a single slice of cake had so many calories drove you nuts. You felt a tad jealous of L. He manages to stay small despite his horrendous diet. It wasn't his fault, he simply had a very different metabolism than you did, but it was unfair. He could eat ten folds of the amount you eat and not gain a thing. When you only spent a day or so eating full meals, you put on weight.

L notices your hesitation and is puzzled about what to say. He's not an idiot and has noticed since he first started dating you that you had a complicated relationship with eating and food. He could tell by the way you poked around at your food and was very light on your portions that you were clearly scared to eat much. He never once found you unattractive and even found your plump features very endearing. He understood why you were insecure, but he only wished he could somehow assure you of your worth.

Knowing you were going to stall, L takes it upon himself to cut you a slice of strawberry cake and places it down in front of you, with a soft, "here."

You smile at him. His small attempts to make you happy were cute, and you did appreciate it. The cake in front of you looked scary, but you wanted to be grateful and make him happy, so you gave up.

"It's tasty isn't it?" He remarks with a mouthful of cake, himself. As a prestige of a background L came from, he had no sense of manners it seemed.

"Mhm."

Again, you were poking around. L felt a little frustrated by this. He wasn't upset about waste, ungratefulness, or anything like that, he was just disheartened that you were so hesitant to nourish yourself. Sure, cake may not be the most nourishing thing, but its mental effects are rewarding. He wanted you to be able to enjoy things like a nice meal without feeling ashamed of yourself. It's why he encouraged you to eat with him often, he wanted to give you a sense of comfort and connection that could come from eating. But every time you seemed unsettled. It made him feel sorry.

"Do you not like it? Would you like a different flavor?"

"Oh, no! It's great, I guess I'm just a bit full," you assure him.

L doubted it, given the amount you put on your plate.

"I'm sorry," you say with guilt.

"I'm not upset with you, love. I suppose I'm just worried for you. I've noticed that when we've had meals together you make your portions rather small. I hardly think that was enough to make you feel "full""

You kind of hated this. Who was he to assume how much you needed to eat? Why did it have to matter?

"I'm trying to lose weight."

"Why?"

"I'm not very happy with myself. I don't feel attractive, and I see other girls, like Misa Amane, who are very small. They get to wear as much or as little as they want and they're always beautiful. I feel like no matter what, I'm always ugly, and fat."

L didn't really know how to handle this, because in his eyes you're beyond beautiful. He didn't really understand why you felt like you weren't. He thought that he always made it apparent to you that he saw you as gorgeous. It was like the meals though. Sometimes no matter how much affirmation he tried to give you, you were never satisfied.

He noticed it when you'd pull down on your shirts to conceal your stomach. When you and he made love, you insisted on keeping the lights completely off. You'd send him pictures of you in very pretty outfits, but when you'd see him in person later that day, you were in something much more conservative. In a way, it broke his heart.

"I know that I can't say anything that will change your mind about this. It makes me sad to know you think of yourself in such a negative way because I've never thought any of those things about you. I suppose my opinion doesn't mean much, but comparing yourself to models like Misa Amane isn't a fair assessment. Those kind of women are paid for being underweight. Having a fuller figure doesn't make you any less attractive and if anything, it makes you incredibly adorable to me. You look like yourself, which is more than beautiful."

In a sense L was right to say he couldn't exactly change your opinion about yourself, but his reassurance right now, in this moment, felt comforting. You did worry that he didn't see you as pretty or somehow was only with you out of pity.

"You know, I'm no model myself," L says, cocking his head to the side. "On the opposite end, I'm underweight and very nimble. I'm also pale and my hair is disheveled. Some have also said my eyes are creepy."

"You're cute though!" You giggle and gush within milliseconds. "Honestly, I don't think I've ever known anyone who looks like you. You're so handsome and pretty and cute and adorable,"-

"So who's to say you aren't those exact same things? Both of us have imperfections. It's abundantly clear you love me for mine, so believe me when I say that yours are just as desirable to me. I love you as you are, Y/N."

His loving words offer you peace of mind at the moment. Sure, you weren't as thin as you wished you were, but knowing he didn't see you less than made you feel a little more content. You glance at him lovingly, and L reaches his hand under the table to find yours.

"I love you," L assures again.

You blush, "I love you too."

L hums and rubs your hand with his thumb. "May I kiss you?"

You giggle at his request, with a complete change of mood to what you felt previously. "Yes, of course."

L leans in to kiss your lips tenderly, holding the side of your neck with the hand that wasn't holding yours. You turn pink and flustered, to much of L's own pleasure. As your kiss starts out light and gentle, you let go of his hand to wrap your arms around his shoulders, closing him into a warmer embrace. Heated tension forms between both of you, but before it can get too heavy L pulls away.

"There's cameras in here."

"Oh," you comment in embarrassment.

"Here," L takes your hand before standing up, encouraging you to as well. "Come this way."

You followed L, with your hand in his.

"The table still has food on it," you say worryingly.

"That's Watari's job. Don't worry about it. Just follow me, alright?"

L guides you up the elevator to a higher floor. When the doors open, you're led to a spacious room that is cleaned and decorated nicely. L closes the door behind you and quickly turns his attention back to you with a soft smile.

"I missed you today while I was working," he says as he begins kissing the nape of your neck.

You smile uncontrollably as you tell him, "I did too. I couldn't wait to see you."

"Mm..that makes me happy to hear."

L kisses your neck lovingly before gesturing you to follow him to the bed. He sits you down and hovers over you as he pulls your lips in for another kiss, this time full of more hunger and adoration. You bring your hands down to his waist band and tug at the button to his jeans, zipping them down.

"Can I see you?" L asks.

"Hm?"

"May I take off your clothes, first?"

"Oh.."you blush hesitantly.

"Here, let me help you."

L pulls your turtleneck over your head and quickly follows with unbuttoning your jeans, sliding them off. You're now only left in your bra and panties, and L can't keep his gaze off of you for a second.

"I'm bloated from eating," you say sheepishly.

"Nonsense," L kisses down your chest and places a hand on your stomach. His fingers sink into your plush skin and you clam up. "Please don't feel self-conscious, love. Allow me the privilege of appreciating your beauty."

L kisses you again and you continue your attempts toward his crotch. You pull his pants down, revealing his arousal through his underwear. Blushing, you grope his cock among the clothing, producing a pleasant hum from his chest. After a couple of strokes, you take his underwear off, dragging them down his legs. His penis stands erect with a flushed pink tip.

"Do you see what you do to me?" he remarks, stroking your face with his fingers, guiding them to your lips. You stick your tongue out, allowing L to slowly insert his fingers into your mouth. His cock twitches in excitement as you suck on his spider-like fingers gently. He takes them out to tuck your hair behind your hair. You assume responsibility to start stroking his bare cock, glancing at it for a bit. His penis is very pretty. Longish, maybe a little over 5 and a half inches, but slender. Not slender in the sense that there's no sense of filling, but it matches the rest of his thin anatomy. It's also pale and flushed pink, with not many veins.

"Mmm.." he moans as you stroke him. You tease his glands a little before taking him in your mouth. You drag your mouth along his shaft, eliciting a sigh from him. You tease and lick along his penis to the point that he needs to reach his hand to cover his mouth in order to conceal his noises. Who would've figured that the deadpan detective L would be such a responsive lover?

"Love, please.." you continue bobbing your mouth on him and look up at him for a moment. Your pretty eyes send a shock through him and he pulls his cock out of your mouth, knowing full well that he'll cum if this keeps going. And he surely was not finished with you.

He kneels in between your legs and kisses the inner flesh of your thick thighs. L pulls your panties down your legs and presses his finger up to his lips, enamored by your beautiful cunt. He presses his fingers at the bottom of your thick thighs and spreads your folds apart. He looks at your wetness for a moment and then proceeds to sink his face into your arousal.

"Mmfph!~"

Your moans escape uncontrollably as L begins sucking on your clit. His mouth produces wet and messy noises as he licks your pussy, following his tongue up and down before continuing to suck on your clitoris. He raises his hand to insert two fingers in your cunt as he eats you out. L makes sure to curl them perfectly, rubbing along your g-spot. The simultaneous stimulation to both areas causes a surprisingly quick build-up.

You grip L's hair, which he takes as a sign to attack your pussy even more intensively. His tongue flicks rapidly up and down your clit and he fingers you faster, causing you to grind on his face. L can feel your orgasm approaching by the way your insides were contracting on his fingers. He hums on your clit, giving it more vibration as you cum on his face with a high-pitched whine. Fluid sprays on L's face unexpectedly, shocking both you and him.

"I'm sorry! I didn't know that would happen. I didn't think I had to use the restroom.."

L smells the fluid on his finger for a bit before commenting, "This doesn't smell like urine to me," and he laughs cockily. "No need to be embarrassed, darling."

L wipes his face off with an article of clothing that was tossed on the floor and comes up to kiss you again. He pulls you to rest on the bed facing him. He reaches behind to grab your ass, squeezing your plump features with his hands.

"You're gorgeous."

You want to thank him, but instead keep kissing his lips with vigor. L moves on top of you and removes your bra. He kisses down your breasts, nipping them with his mouth briefly to then kiss your stomach, groping the plushy flesh. You tense up a little but relax in the notion that he's doing it out of desire, not to insult you. He comes back up to kiss you once again and pushes his pelvis between your thighs.

You tug at his shirt, the only article of clothing separating the two of you. He grunts a little and hesitates. "You know I'm shy about my torso."

"I know, but we're both supposed to be embracing each other right? It's unfair for you to have me all naked and you to be covered."

"Yes, that's correct. I apologize."

L allows you to take his shirt off, exposing his thin figure in its entirety. You kiss his neck, causing him to whimper.

"Y/N, I need you so badly right now.."

"I'm yours. Please.."

L kisses your temple and continues by taking his penis to tease along your folds. He sinks his cock into your warm and soft pussy, and the both of you immediately moan at the pleasure. L begins to thrust into your warmth with a slight build-up. The pace eventually grows into a desperate and starving yearning. He loves you as if he hasn't for ages (he did about three nights ago) and fills you to perfection.

"Y/N..love, you're so perfect..."

You gasp in pleasure as he rubs your g-spot perfectly and grip his back for comfort. You pull him into kiss you as you fuck each other, the both of you filling the room with filthy sounds. It was a good thing the room was sound-proof.

"I love you, L.."

"I know, baby. I love you..you know that right?" He says in your ear, whispering between pants while he rests his forehead on yours. L's eyes are fixated on the way your body moves to his thrusts, and he feels a sense of pride knowing that he's the only one who's able to see you like this.

"Mhm!" L fucks you deeper, his cockhead brushing your cervix. Your warm, wet walls continue to clamp on him and he knows he's not going to last very long. He presses his body closer to yours, relishing in your warm body against his.

"Darling...I'm close.."

"That's ok, please. Inside."

L's hips thrust forward for a little longer, his orgasm building. He finally comes undone and releases his loads inside of you, with a strung-out moan as he does so.

You grab around him and pull him close for comfort as he rests on top of you, cock still inside.

"Thank you.." you say pleasantly, more than happy with the affection you had received.

"Thanking me isn't necessary. You know how much I adore making love with you."

You blush and laugh in response. L eventually pulls out and rests beside you, wrapping his legs around you as he attempts to mimic his sitting position in a cuddle form. The both of you enjoy the presence of each other's bodies and hold each other as close as possible.

"Please never doubt yourself, Y/N. You're more than worthy and more than beautiful."

"Okay. I think I believe you, I'll try to," you hum and bury your face in his chest. "I love you."

"As do I, Y/N."

#l lawliet #l lawliet x reader #l lawliet smut #chubby reader

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unsaidthingsj2e · 1 year

Text

that one good cologne, that you bought when we were fighting

Summary : Memories of the night Jude broke up with you are flooding back as you smell his perfume in the bus.

a/n : once again, ignore any spelling mistakes, english is not my first language,

this is inspired by memories by conan gray (<3) and most specifically by the lyrics i put as the title of this fic!!

this is just angst but also i don't know if anything i ever write has any value so don't get your hopes too high, tho i would love to know what you thought ab it!! love ya

It annoyed you, how memory worked. How the sight of a picture, the sound of a melody, the taste of a pastry, the texture of a shirt, the smell of the air would make you remember stuff you tried so hard to bury deep inside your mind.

You hated how it would hit you at the most random moments, taking you by surprise and sending you into memory lane without your consent.

Because you just entered the bus, eager to finally go home after a long day at uni. You had to run in order to catch the bus and not wait for another 10 minutes in the rain. For once, you spotted a free seat that would relieve your back of the heavy weight of your backpack, the bus ride would, for once, not be living hell.

Quickly making your way to the back of the bus where you saw the seat, you sat and sighed, letting the stress dissolve. After taking quick breaths in order to allow oxygen to course through your veins again, it hit you.

You found yourself physically unable to move as the smell of the air hit you. Your brain only took seconds to catch up, pairing the smell of the cologne the guy behind you wore with what you still describe as the worst period of your life.

Too vividly for your own liking, the scene seemed to play in front of you.

You usually weren't the confrontational type, always preferring hiding your feelings deep inside you, convincing yourself you overreacted when something seemed off.

This is something your boyfriend, Jude, made sure to change throughout your relationship. He made sure you knew he would not react like your parents and past partners always did when you brought up an issue.

You loved him, and this part of him, that was making sure you felt safe, was your favorite. He clearly cared for your bond and wanted you to be able to express whatever was on your mind.

Him reassuring you did not make the process less stressful, as you usually fell back into old patterns, but after a year of dating him, you were beginning to get more comfortable at the idea of openly communicating your feelings.

That's how it started.

"Jude? Can I talk to you please?" you said before you could chicken out of this

"Hi love, I didn't know you came home already" he left his spot in front of the TV to come greet you with a kiss, "sure, what's on your mind?"

This display of attention, that became so rare lately, made you pause, wondering if you were indeed making it all up. But when you made eye contact with the boy, you could still see all the space between you two, that wasn't there before.

"Can we go back on the couch maybe? I'd like to be sitting to discuss this" you tried to create an environment that would lessen the pressure on yourself, not trusting your knees not to break right here and there.

You used to be so sure Jude would be your lifeline, having been friends for so long before dating, and now, knowing how good he could treat you as his girlfriend, you could not help but be confused at what he was becoming.

His eyes grew cold and distant, the time he dedicated to you kept on reducing, the affection behind his nicknames seemingly gone. You wondered if you did something to activate this slow and agonizing descent into your personnal hell; a life without him.

You could see worry creeping up in his eyes, vector of so many emotions, or lack of thereof, he could never hide, "Whatever you'd like, is something wrong?" Jude asked.

"Maybe? I don't really know if i'm making all of this up but you're the one that always insisted I don't let myself spiral with my thoughts right?"

"Yeah, always love, I want you to be comfortable around me"

"Okay, uhm, I couldn't help but notice you slowly slipping away? It's just that you're not around as much, you don't seem to long for the physical touch you usually crave from me and, I feel like you don't even care about me anymore, like you've seen all that was to see and you've just grown bored" you spit out in a single breath, worrying you could change your mind if you didn't say it fast enough.

It's the way the worry in his eyes shifted to a shade closer to annoyance that was the exact reason why you hated doing this, "Hey, I don't know where you think you saw that, but I still love you as much as I did yesterday and all the days before, none of what you said reflects what I'm feeling for you" his honey slicked voice tried to reassure you, but it just didn't seem enough this time.

Engulfing you in a hug to shut down any answer or further explanation you may have had, Jude started kissing your face everywhere he could, "My pretty girl spends her time worrying when she's the only one I see"

You let it slide only because coming up with this took all your energy and you still were unsure whether or not you made everything up,

but the next month just further proved your points

You did try again, multiple times, to bring it up. When you did, he would shut you up with physical attention, hugs that smelled of a new, foreign cologne he bought, and pretty words. Other times, he would straight up avoid the topic. The drastic change in his behavior concerning conversations came with a return of every insecurities he once erased, you stopped trying and just let it eat you from the insides.

A month ago, you had tried to surprise jude by going to his place before he could arrive, and prepare a romantic evening that would serve to cover up your broken relationship. Cooking his favorite meal, baking the desert that he could not get enough of and putting on your guys' favorite playlist, you were happy with your work.

While you were finishing cooking the main dish, your phone vibrated, indicating a new text from your man

"we should talk, come by my place in an hour?"

Not knowing what it could mean nor if you were supposed to reveal your surprise, you did not answer.

10 minutes later, Jude entered his appartement, not expecting to see you here already. You could tell he was about to ask why you showed up so early when he told you to come in an hour before he noticed the music, the smell, the state of the dining table.

"Hi, we should probably talk before doing all of this" he said while gesturing to all the stuff you prepared. the lack of kisses and "thank you"'s were not unusual but still stung as if it was the first time.

"Yeah, sure, what do you wanna talk about?"

"I'll go straight to the point to make it fair to you, because I haven't been. I met a new girl."

Time stopped

"I'm sorry that you were right about all these things you used to hold myself accountable for, but I found myself falling for her and it had to come with putting space between us. I wish things were different but I have to break up with you in order to make things fair for both of us, we just aren't made for each other and it's time we accept it" he said, still filled with confidence and when you dared to look in his eyes, shades of honesty and the lack of empathy or sadness felt like just another knife being thrown into your back.

He was so convinced he was being the good guy, coming clean and acting as if the relationship was a burden to both of you. You wondered how long he has been feeling like that, what triggered the need to be fair now, when he hasn't been for at least a few months, if he said your accusations were correct.

You felt dizzy, confused, hurt, but neither tears nor words were coming out. You could only bet your face was one of stone, with pain all over it written in capital letter with glittery paint. All you knew was that you had to leave, so you did.

Jude had anticipated the shutting down part, knowing you well enough to know this many emotions and facts to process would send you into overdrive, so he did the talking, "As much as I appreciate you and I always did, I doubt a friendship between us would work again. It would, this time, not be fair to my girlfriend, I'm sure you can understand."

The word girlfriend being used for someone that wasn't you made an unexpected sob rip through your chest. You had an hard time believing the man in front of you was the man that used to be your best friend and lover. Such hard words used carelessly, no matter what you felt was so unusual for him.

That cologne, so foreign, caused an headache. Or maybe it was the wave of intense emotions, the contained tears and the broken promises. You made your way to the door, opening it and freezing.

You considered saying a snarky comment about dinner, attacking him about the trust you had put in him, asking about this new girl, but you just couldn't.

You'd look for closure later, when your mind was not foggy and threatening to shut down as well, but for now it's you leaving the double of the keys he gave you behind. More than a key, it was ornamented with keychains from places you had visited together, mostly places where he played with his team. And the key of the heart shaped locker you two had put on the infamous love lock bridge in paris, when he would insist you keep it instead of throwing it in the water, because you would always be the key to his heart.

All hope of a peaceful bus drive was gone, as you still found yourself glued to your seat, paralyzed by the scent of the cologne.

It caused you the same headache it had back then, accompanied by the tears you had held back when last confronted to this smell.

part 2 right here <3

#jude bellingham x reader #jude bellingham

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blakeswritingimagines · 1 year

Text

One of their friends likes you as well

Eddie: He’d probably be very upset. He would try to talk to you about it, and see what you say about everything. He would probably get really insecure and end up pushing you away without thinking about it or really trying to. He would start to think that he's ugly and that the other person is more better looking, smarter, or funnier. He would be jealous, and angry, and feel like you don’t love him. He'll start to feel like he's not good enough but he just needs to be babied.

Gareth: Gareth gets really jealous and pissed off. He’s known the guy his whole life, then they suddenly want to date the person he really likes?! He becomes distant from his friend, only talking to him when necessary. He might not outright be rude, but he will be really passive-aggressive and mean to him. The more the other guy pushes, the meaner Gareth gets. He’ll try to make his relationship with you seem better- show it off in front of the guy (he might try making the other dude jealous? Maybe)

Steve: Well he doesn't see you as his property, you are his partner, so the way he sees it you can have any friend you want. He trusts you, and if some other guy, or girl, happens to like you, he trusts you enough to know you're going to stay faithful. He thinks that's the way it should be. He trusts you to make your own choices and he doesn't try and tell you who you can and can't hang out with. That's not love, that's control. He also knows you love him.

Robin: Hm well. She would talk it over with them and try not to get mad. She knows people can’t control who they like, and neither can her friend. However, it is possible to control how she handles it. Of course, she would be jealous, but she would try to work things out between everyone. If it gets to a point where they start flirting with you, then... That’s a whole different story.”

Nancy: She’d probably get quite upset and jealous, but she values her relationship too much to let anything stand in the way of it. She’d simply let you know that you have to make a decision: her or the other person who also likes you. She knows you’d make the right choice, and she trusts you, it’s just a situation she would have like to have avoided

Jonathan: He would first try to get along with the person. However, if they were to get too close to you and show an increased intimacy towards you, he would probably have a very clear but firm discussion with them about his feelings. He would also try to have an open conversation with you about how he was feeling and what he was experiencing so that you could understand where he was coming from and hopefully avoid any misunderstandings.

Argyle: If a friend of his developed genuine feelings for his partner he would hope that you'd choose what's best for yourself and your relationship. This being said, he wouldn't want to try and control the situation or your feelings. If the attraction was mutual, you'd have to decide if you wanted to pursue it or stay with him. But I don't think there's anything he could do other than support you either way. After all, he cares about you and wants you to be happy, even if it's without him.

Billy: He'd take the person somewhere private, where nobody would hear them. He'd tell the person to stay away from you and not even think about you again, and he'd make sure it's understood exactly what would happen if the person didn't. If that didn't work, he'd be willing to resort to physical violence. He's not willing to share, not when it comes to something that means that much to him.

Henry: You are his partner and only his. He would never allow competition, and he would eliminate anyone who tried to take you from him. You would be his forever. His love there's no room for anyone else in his eyes.

#eddie munson x reader #gareth emerson x reader #steve harrington x reader #robin buckley x reader #nancy wheeler x reader #jonathan byers x reader #argyle x reader #billy hargrove x reader #henry creel x reader #stranger things hc #stranger things headcanons #stranger things

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diagonal-queen · 1 year

Note

This another requesting 😭

Maybe with Fyodor,Dazai and Chuuya with s/o who have trust issues and are traumatized because of their best friend's death?

i hope that this isn't indicative of what's happening with you at the moment...if it is i'm so sorry. sending all my hearts to you <3

Reader with trauma and trust issues

♡ pairing: Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Dazai Osamu, Chuuya Nakahara x gn!Reader

♡ synopsis: How do these men react to a reader who has trust issues and trauma from their best friend's death?

♡ cw: Reader has trauma and trust issues, mentions of violence and death.

note: Surprisingly...Fyodor is not toxic in this one. Yay! Apologies for errors and I hope you enjoy x

Fyodor:

He feels for you, knowing that losing someone you care about must be difficult, and as such he'll do what he best thinks will help you open your heart again and get you to trust him

This mostly manifests in him being very protective, but also being very patient and gentle with you

Would actually give you a lot of cuddles if you wanted him to. He likes being your safe place, it makes him feel stronger

Fyodor is more than happy to listen to you when you need something from him and provide whatever it is- he'll treat you like royalty <3 (honestly he'd do that regardless though)

He doesn't really say anything about your friend's death or your trauma and usually just waits for you to bring it up if you want to talk to him about it (he doesn't want to catch you off-guard and cause an attack or anything like that)

If you want space he'll give you space, but he'll also worry a little but about you (he would never tell you that though lol)

He feels that there's not much to be done about it besides move on, so he also sometimes tries to...distract you in a way? He'll try to take your mind off your grief by keeping you busy or spending his free time with you

He'll sometimes talk about life and philosophical stuff with you when you talk to him about your feeling, and that makes you feel a lot better about everything

Dazai:

Right, so he's in the same boat as you are. He knows exactly how you feel and so he's probably the best person you could have chosen to be your S/O in that regard

He actually opens up about Odasaku to you! Just a little bit though, just so you know that he does get it

Dazai really gives you a lot of space if he knows that you have trust issues, because he doesn't wanna make you feel overwhelmed and as if he's rushing things

Might just behave a little too distant at times though, you gotta let him know that giving you space doesn't mean ghosting you totally T-T (he doesn't WANT to ghost you he's just worried that he'd otherwise be too clingy, which he is kinda)

Never takes it personally when you want to take your time progressing your guys' relationship, he's willing to go as slow as you need him to

Lowkey turns up the charisma a little because he wants to make you feel happy sometimes even if it's because of something kinda silly like a smooth pickup line (lol)

He really just hates to see you sad and will oblige you a lot of the time if it means you'll feel better

Dazai loves you so much that he'd even forego attempting suicide (as much as he already does at least) for your sake, making promises to you that he won't leave you or break your heart either

Chuuya:

He also knows what it's like to lose people he loves so he really feels for you and wants to help you feel better

Encourages you to be open about your feelings with him so he can understand better and so you don't bottle them up. He's a really good listener and won't really interrupt you or anything (he'd respect if you didn't want to talk sometimes though)

He also lets you cry on his shoulder whenever you need and when you do he's there to hug and comfort you

Always thanks you for trusting him after you divulge private information or otherwise act vulnerable around him (and is also lowkey pretty flattered about it)

Chuuya will also purposefully separate you from his mafia life to keep you away from violence and otherwise dark stuff because he doesn't want to distress you or traumatise you any more

Every now and then he asks if he's being too overbearing and if you'd like space (he doesn't want to you find him suffocating or anything T-T)

Honestly just handles your grief and supports you super well, and overall does help you heal and move on

Also he will promise to never hurt you and tell you he loves you like every single day until it sticks in your brain

you guys heard Hard To Love by Rosé from Blackpink?? fuckkk that song is literally me

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corrodedseraphine · 8 months

Text

perfectly wrong | #4 I am afraid to trust you

pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader

chapter summary: When once again Steve saves your life he sets his goal, to help and protect you, the way he wants to do it is quite…surprising.

TW: mentions of: pregnancy, domestic violence, bruises, near death experience, misscarige, blood, bleeding out, strong medicine use, suicide

The story is also avaliable on ao3

previous chapter | masterlist | steve harrington masterlist | general masterlist

Your opinion, feedback, questions or ideas are always welcome! If there is something what would you like to see in the story feel free to tell me about it in comments or in my inbox which is always open for you guys! Thank you so much for reading!

"Where the hell have you been?!" Travis shouted as soon as you entered the house.

"At work." You said without even looking at him, as quickly as possible you wanted to go to the bathroom and then just to bed.

Unfortunately, he had other plans. As you passed by he grabbed you firmly by the arm and pushed you so that you bounced against the wall.

"Bulllshit! I called your work and Buckley said she hadn't seen you there today and didn't even know you were supposed to be there!" he came closer.

You were in complete shock, the lie came out and you had absolutely no idea how to get out of it. Travis, seeing your reaction, did not hesitate and slapped you. "Are you cheating on me?! This is what you need now?! A rich fucker who would take you and that brat in, huh?!"

"N-no!" you screeched. "You know damn well that I hate him, how could I cheat on you with him?!"

He clenched his hand into a fist and swung, this time fortunately his hand landed in the wall right next to your head. "Pretty boys like him don't like sluts like you, do you understand? You are worthless, he wouldn't touch you with a fucking stick! You are mine and no one else will be able to handle you." saying this he looked straight into your eyes. He looked with contempt and disgust. For the first time in your life it occurred to you that Steve's hate-filled gaze, which pierced you to the core, didn't make you feel as awful as Travis' did now. You felt like you were beginning to believe his words, which seemed to burn into your brain. "I'm leaving, I don't know when I'll be back, when I look at you I want to puke." He said and left the house slamming the door leaving you alone.

Your eyes were burning as was the cheek he had just slapped you on. All the nerve endings in your body were crying out for help and at least the slightest relief. You wanted to cry, but the tears would not fly, everything around you seemed to be an obstacle, one bigger than the other.

Without even changing into your pajamas, you lay down on your bed and moments later fell asleep, hoping that at least in your dreams something good would happen to you.

That night when Steve came home he was accompanied by a great feeling of anxiety. On the one hand, somewhere he had always been aware that you hated him as much as he hated you, but lately he had spent more and more time wondering where this hatred really came from, going back in his mind to the very distant beginnings of high school. To some extent he told himself that he didn't care what you thought or how you felt but deep down he knew that wasn't true. Despite the fact that you weren't able to look at each other he always, even in the slightest, looked to you for approval, just like the rest of the people.

Whatever had changed between the two of you over the past weeks also made it so that in addition to your increasing need for acceptance, the thought that he was the villain in your life became heavier and heavier, quite as if it had suddenly become a heavy stone tied to his leg that was slowly dragging him down. The fact that you were refusing to let him help you was like tentacles that were just waiting to grab him and finish him off.

What could he do to help you? How could he convince you to accept it from him at all? Should he give up and leave you alone or keep trying to help you in any possible way?

These questions and his persistent search for answers made him fall asleep full of worry, just as if he sensed that something bad was happening. Something told him that this night would definitely not be one of the peaceful ones.

An uncomfortable pain pierced your body and roused you from sleep. It was getting stronger and stronger, unbearable by the second. Not really knowing what was happening, you sat up on the bed and turned on the lamp that stood on the bedside table. You looked around the room, Travis was nowhere to be found, you closed your eyes listening for other sounds indicating his presence, but you were in the house completely alone. Maybe that's better. You thought. Then you felt another stab of pain, much stronger that before. Your gaze went to the big stain of blood on the blanket between your legs.

Terrified, you wanted to get up right away and run to the phone, but the pain was so strong that you could not move from the bed. Panic began to overwhelm your common sense, fear filled your system, but as a last flash you remembered the walkie-talkie you kept in the drawer of your bedside table.

Steve's weak sleep was interrupted by someone's cry. A cry for help? Is this another nightmare?

Code red, code red, code red.

It took him only a moment to realize that it wasn't a dream, but a quiet cry and a plea for help coming from the other end of the room where his walkie-talkie lay. From the very beginning of his Upside Down adventure, he had always kept it in the same place at night and made sure there were always charged batteries in case something bad happened.

"Robin? Nancy?" Your voice was barely audible, breaking with each successive sound. "Help- p-please, Jonathan? Please, code red, please." He broke off and immediately ran to the device.

"Y/n? It's Steve, what's wrong?" he asked.

"It hurts, it hurts so bad, so much blood." you cried. "Help me, please."

"Be there in ten." he said and putting on only his shoes he ran out of the house. Disregarding traffic signs and speed limits he actually found himself in front of your house in less than ten minutes. Fortunately, the door of the house was unlocked. Without closing it behind him, he moved deeper into the house, calling your name. The smell of alcohol was all over the room, with empty bottles and shards of glass scattered in places, but that wasn't the most important thing now.

"Steve!" you said loudly with your remaining strength to direct him to the bedroom. The sight he found there terrified him, but he had no time for paralysis now, he knew that every next second could decide about your and the baby's life.

"Can you move?" he asked, running up to you.

"N-no, it hurts too much-" you replied, holding your stomach tightly, the pain was intolerable.

"It's okay, I've got you. Both of you." he replied quickly. "We'll go to the hospital, okay? I'll carry you to the car." Feeling his lungs slowly running out of air, he picked you up and carried you out of the house straight to the car all the while calming down in his mind.

Focus, Harrington. This is not the time to panic. Calm down.

The road to the hospital passed a little more cautiously than the one to your house, but still lightning fast.

"I'll go quickly to get the wheelchair and come back with it to pick you up, hold on okay? Just a little while longer." He said hurriedly and ran straight toward the hospital entrance. Hardly anything reached you at that moment, pain and fear occupied one hundred percent of your concentration, the whole outside world became one big blur and background noise. A moment later, the door on the grazing side opened with a jolt and there, in addition to Steve, appeared other nurses and a doctor who transferred you to a wheelchair. Curling up in a ball the whole time you cried every now and then whining in pain, you were unable to stop it, completely giving in to the emotions that were tearing at you.

Steve all the way to the door of the operating room walked step by step beside you, keeping his hand on your shoulder repeating that you are not alone and that everything will be fine, unfortunately the doctor did not want to let him in further explaining that because of your personal relationship he could do more harm there than help. When you and the rescue team disappeared behind the heavy white doors he was left alone in the large and quiet hallway.

For almost an hour he sat against the wall nervously combing his hand through his hair for the millionth time when nurse Judy approached him. She had a plastic cup of water in one hand and clothes in the other, which she tossed into his lap.

"I think you should change." She said, pointing to the blood stains on his pajamas. It was your blood. Blood that looked quite unreal. Tonight was like a nightmare, a vile product of his imagination from which he had no escape.

"Thanks." he replied quietly. The woman sighed and sat down next to him.

"You saved her life, Steve." she said firmly. "If you had shown up here a few minutes too late, neither she nor the baby would have survived."

"Jesus…" At the thought, his throat tightened and his vision blurred.

"Steve I know it's hard for you, but it's not over. Someone has to help her. If she doesn't free herself from her current situation the next time if she gets here it may be too late."

"Do you think it's because of him?"

"We honestly have no idea what caused the bleeding, there are so many causes, and she doesn't want to tell anyone anything."

He suddenly felt anger at you. How could you even at a time like this be so stubborn and not allow help? His clenched fist and tightened jaw did not escape Judy's attention.

"Steve." she said calmly but firmly. "Anger won't help here, the girl is going through hell, and she's clearly lost. She needs someone who will get her back on track and not drive her down a dead end street with no way out."

"How can I force her to let me help her?" helplessness could be seen in his tone.

"Forcing her to accept help can have the opposite effect, my boy."

"Then what should I do?"

"Convince her. Show that she can count on you, prove that you are capable of helping her."

"She's so damn stubborn." he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"She is scared, Steve. She's scared and hurt, which is why a huge amount of patience is needed here."

"I really want to help her," he said.

"I know." The woman sighed and put her hand on his shoulder. "Start by changing your clothes and then go to her, show that she's not alone, just be careful, she's been given some pretty strong medication, so she might be a little… unsteady."

The darkness in the room was distracted only by a small lamp near the bed you were lying on. The quiet and rhythmic beeping of the device mimicked your heartbeat, and the IV drip flowed into your veins at a slow pace. Should he be here? He had no idea. He knew he wanted to be here, it was unknown why he felt the need to be with you, but whether you wanted him to be here was another matter entirely.

"Why?" you asked without turning to face him. You were lying on your side with your head facing the window, in which his silhouette was reflected. Under the influence of the drugs you felt heavy but also numb, even if you wanted to at that moment you didn't feel a bit of strength to turn around.

"Why what?" he asked and approached you so that you were face to face.

"Why do you keep saving me?" a sob came out of your mouth, which released a whole waterfall of tears with it. "You hate me. Why do you save my life every time? I don't understand." Even your hand seemed too heavy for you to wipe your wet eyes and cheeks.

"I don't hate you." he said quietly slowly reaching his hand toward your face. "For years I thought I hated you, but the more I think about it I'm less and less sure it was hate. I don't understand either." The tone of his voice was as warm as the touch of his hand on your face. He pushed the wet strands of hair aside, took a napkin and began to clean your face.

"Why are you taking care of me?" his behavior made you even more emotional, and that didn't help stem the tears.

"Stop asking why, y/n." he whispered. This was another question he didn't know the answer to. He had always felt the need to take care of others, especially those he loved, but for the past few years he hadn't expected that you would someday be among those people as well. "Just let me, please."

You didn't know if it was a dream or if the drugs were strong enough to make you hallucinate, but now before your eyes was painted the image of a boy who almost always looked at you with hatred and loathing. This boy now had a worried expression on his face, his pale face and blackened eyes indicated fatigue, but in addition to this time you could see concern.

Is it possible that Steve Harrington cared about you? Was this concern sincere?

"I'm afraid." you said quietly. "I'm afraid to trust you."

He couldn't hide that these words hurt. He lowered his head down wanting to hide the painful grimace on his face. He knew you had the right to do so, if the two of you were in the opposite situation you would probably be the last person he would trust, both of you had caused each other so much pain that it would be hard to forget it just like that. Taking a deep breath he was getting ready to reply that you had the right to do so and try to convince again, but you began to speak further changing the subject.

"I wanted to die, Steve. Every morning I woke up with the thought that it would be better if it was all over, but today I was so scared. When it actually could have been the end-" you started crying again.

"Hey, everything is fine now, you're safe." He knelt as close to the bed as possible. He rubbed your cheeks with one hand and grabbed your hand with the other.

"I wanted to kill myself Steve. I wanted to kill myself and the baby, I'm a monster." you started to get hysterical.

"You are not a monster y/n, we both know very well what monsters look like. We fought them, together, and won. We will win now too. Look at me." He directed your face so that you were looking straight into his eyes. You noticed with a shock that they too were full of tears. "Just let me help you, we overcame the damn end of the world together, we can handle this too." he sniffed. Fatigue and nerves were winning out over self-control, more and more question marks were appearing in his head, he didn't understand anything, he didn't understand why he so suddenly wanted to protect you from all the suffering of the world despite the fact that for the past years he himself had intentionally caused you pain. Looking at you now, he could hardly restrain himself from taking you in his arms to once again become a shield for you. No matter how much something inside him lashed out to be as close to you as possible, he knew that this would be crossing your comfort zone, which was already violated enough by everything else.

He spent the entire night at your bedside thinking of various plans on how he could help you. Each one seemed better than the last however there were too many and he had too little time to do it. One thing was certain - you couldn't go back there. Holding on to that thought when you got into his car after being discharged from the hospital, he took a completely different route.

"Steve what are we doing here?" you asked when you stopped in front of a big house with a pool in the richest neighborhood of Hawkins. You weren't stupid, you knew perfectly well that this was the Harringtons' property, but you didn't know why you were here now.

"You're not going back there." he said as if he was proud of himself for coming up with the greatest idea in the whole world.

"What do you mean I'm not going back there?!" you nervously almost jerked out of the car. What the hell was he thinking?

"Welcome to your new home." his tone was nonchalant, completely as if the most ordinary thing in the world was now happening.

"Are you kidding me? I can't live with you!" "Oh excuse me! Do you have any better idea?!" he shouted slamming the car door.

"Going back to my house?!" you exclaimed, increasingly annoyed.

"I don't even want to hear it!" your annoyance transmitted to him, thus you started arguing in his driveway.

"What is wrong with you?! You can't just make me stay here!"

"Are you sure?! Because you have two choices! Two!" he rested his hands heavily on the hood of the car and looked straight into your eyes. He was angry. "You stay here with me, where this psycho won't even think to look for you, or you go back to your place and the first thing I do is going to Hopper and reporting domestic violence on a pregnant woman!"

That's how two people who couldn't stand in the same room without arguing for more than an hour came to live together. And this was not the end of the surprises that fate prepared in your way.

taglist: @i-me-mine @phantypurple @tlclick73 @sheisjoeschateau @hollandweather @lma1986 @scarletwitchwhore @freezaz123 @ihatepeanutss

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kisses4emil · 1 month

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Johnny Joestar x Reader

tags : slowburn, first love headcanons, lots of fluff, teeth rotting fluff, g/n reader, friends to lovers

a/n : having MAJORR johnny brainrot so i made this !! this is my first fic ever so pls be patient with me, i hope to become a better writer!!

johnny is a guy who is veryy negative with thoughts and a past that haunts him. he’s sarcastic, distant, and definitely overthinks A LOT. i feel like he will need someone who’s positive and will help guide him towards the light and knock down the walls he’s trapped himself behind. im feeling a slowburn friends to lovers type dynamic

at first, johnny probably did not like you.. ofc this is nothing personal, but the poor boy has some trust issues. i mean he had literally no one in his life before he met you or gyro. it’s definitely going to take a lot of time before he trusts you.

i also believe you’d come along after he meets gyro and the two would already have a somewhat established bond with johnny wanting to know about the steel ball

so when you join the duo, johnny would feel like you’re holding them back if you have no ability or anything he wants to or hopes to gain from you, but gyro is wanting to give you a chance and tells johnny that too

if you’re the type of person who feels sympathy and compassion for others and decides to help diego during the scary monsters arc, he is definitely going to find you a bit annoying for going against his wishes, especially when he already doesn’t like you.

he will begin to have a growing curiosity for your motives on joining him on finding the corpse parts, then his thoughts will begin to wander further.. why were you so kind to him and strangers alike? why did you join this race at all?

i feel as though you’d pick up on johnny’s disinterest in you which could cause you to overthink things like if you did something wrong or not. expressing your woes to gyro, he tells you not to worry and that’s just how he is and promises to form a plan to help you two get along and flashes that cheeky smile of his.

following up on the two of you guys’ conversation, while setting up for the night, gyro will wonder off somewhere in hopes of leaving the two of you alone for a while to talk. the atmosphere was definitely awkward at first and you’d probably be the one to initiate conversation, but the conversation would then soon turn into a deeper one and finally things would get comfortable.

after that night, johnny will begin seeing you differently. soon enough, his curiosity for you will grow even bigger than it originally was and alongside that his liking for you too.

he will end up developing a soft spot for you without noticing and will often display acts of jealously when your attention is directed toward someone else or something else. he’ll even unknowingly treat you differently. he’ll show he cares about you and always check in on you to make sure you aren’t hurt when you’re attacked, even if he has a giant gaping wound himself, you will be his first thought

johnny does begin to enjoy your company, but still keeps you at a distance due to his past. overall, he can’t help himself and enjoys the feelings he gets when you gives him attention. appreciates how you dont view him differently and how kind you are. you’ll definitely grow closer as time passes and you’ll have more deep conversations. he’ll even begin to make some moves on you without knowing. if it’s with you, to him, everything is so simple and easy. you’re bright and easy to be around which makes it easy to enjoy your presence

gyro will notice his silly acts of affection and begin to tease him about his obliviousness and always tells him to just confess his feelings for you, but johnny always denies having any sort of romantic attraction for you.

gyro’s teasing will definitely make him start overthinking every interaction you’ve ever had with the boy and he’ll begin seeing you differently.

this is 100% keeping him awake at night

when the two of you are hanging out as usual, if you get too close he’ll definitely get distant a bit, but he doesn’t mean to. he just doesn’t want to screw up whatever the good thing you guys have going on. he honestly doesn’t quite understand it either.. especially when he’s been with countless women in his prime, this was different.

something real, you’re someone who doesn’t use him or will leave him when he’s not at his best and won’t belittle him when he’s at his lowest because you’ve already seen him at his lowest

yepp the boy is IN LOVEEE with you, dare i say smitten? he’s star struck in love but now that he’s aware of this he is terrified of what you’ll think

of course you feel the same way, but johnny doesn’t know that, so the only way this will go anywhere is if you make the first move. soo you pop the question and ask how he feels about you

this boy is blushing up a storm and asks where that came from and you just explain you have feelings for the blonde. johnny is over the moon about how you feel the same as him. the two of you don’t officially start dating til after the race when all of this is over!! but overall you guys are the sweetest couple ever <3

#johnny joestar x reader #miyastags #🎀#꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱#꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱drabbles #꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱headcanons #johnny x reader #steel ball run #jjba sbr #johnny joestar #jjba #jojos bizarre adventure #johnny joestar x you #johnny joestar x y/n #fluff

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mari-lair · 10 months

Note

Y'know I've just realised that now that Aoi can see supernaturals it's going to be really interesting to see how she's going to influence the plot. Because her first interaction with supernaturals was nearly killing her childhood friend, getting attacked multiple times, watching who was meant to be her saviour (because Teru was the strongest person in that situation, he had to be the one to save Aoi because no one else could) nearly die, and slowly crumble away herself. That was horribly traumatising! And now she has to keep living her life with a numb hand and the understanding that (in particular) Nene and Akane are doing incredibly dangerous things. And since it seems the clockkeepers are becoming relevant again, Akane is almost definitely going to be in danger. Again. All the other characters have an at least somewhat positive relationship with supernaturals (as seen by the most recent chapter) but Aoi's got nothing. It'll be interesting to see how her place in the story is going to change given how in the past all she had was the distant amusement about the school's rumours.

Aoi does have a few positive interactions with supernaturals! Noticeably, with the mokkes, who she helped and they helped her back.

And with Hanako, who she doesn’t know had planned for her to die, so in her point of view, he is a friendly guy that helped her in the Far Shore. He is also someone that Nene has a crush on, and vise versa, so Aoi can fall back on her usual “love talk” with him to comfort herself, as shown by how she talks a bit about her feelings on the train, and is even able to relate to him

And while her trust in him is not blind, she does listen to him.

Her overall view is understandably still negative though.

She was clearly traumatized by all the events you listed since she kept the bracelet Teru gave her: A gift that surely brings bad memories but serves as protection.

And I suspect she still wears the bracelet in school, she just hides it, since she suddenly started to wear long sleeves, something no one else has done in her class.

So is not like the days got colder and students changed uniforms, Aoi was the only girl that made a conscious choice to wear long sleeves even if it would make her stand out.

I would love to know how her interest in supernatural rumors would be transformed now that she knows they are real and that they can be as cute and fluffy as a mokke or as dangerous as Hakubo. Or how she addapts to seeing these creatures in her everyday life.

(Please Aidairo I am on my knees begging you to explore Aoi more.)

Aoi usually worries about Nene easily, but she seems to trust Hanako with her safety, since he was so protective when Aoi threw them in the trash’ and Akane, one of the few people Aoi trust, also trusts in Hanako's competence.

As for Akane, I really really really hope she doesn’t just go “He has Teru to protect him, is okay” because while it would make some sense, considering Teru was the one that rescued Akane and led the group that came to save her, I want her to be a relevant part of this arc! Akane was so important in her arc, she should be relevant in his arc too! Not just be a goal (her hand). Let her help him somewhat. I would love that so much!!

If you want to see how a character without a single positive relationship with supernaturals would fit the narrative, we already have two: Akane and Teru. Exorcist life is not very comparable to Aoi’s situation, but please take a better look at Akane.

Akane was a normal person that has consistently been tormented by supernaturals. Since his complaints are mostly treated as a joke, people might forget that Akane never forgave the clock keeper for putting Aoi’s life at risk and tricking him to work a job he really hates.

When directly asked about his opinions, the manga drop the ‘comedy lenses’ and shows us point blank that “the clock keepers recruitment trick stuck with him even after all these years. Akane hates them on a fundamental level.”

He isn’t looking at Hanako here, his eyes are unfocused, he is thinking about the day Aoi almost died and using a ton of '...' in his dialogue: It is a trauma. Just because he tries not to think about it, and it isn’t as brought up in the narrative as the main characters' traumas, it does not make it any less of a traumatic event: Many of his beliefs and attitudes got shaped by that event.

Even the mokke try to attack him to steal his School Mystery seat. So he really has no exceptions.

It makes sense that every supernatural is either an uncaring asshole or a beast in Akane’s eyes. Sure, he can be forced to work with them for the greater good, he is a guy that values his word and his duties, but he will never respect or like them.

#tbhk #jshk #toilet bound hanako kun #aoi akane #akane aoi #if aoi doesn't get any spotlight this arc I will cry

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ashes-writing · 11 months

Text

outer banks ● one girl two guys pt 10 ● j.maybank + t. thornton

warnings

[ multi chapter ] reader is very insecure / has trust issues, complicated relationships - 4 to be exact, angst and lots of internal monologue, hooking up / feelings after the fact, extreme pda + a hint of b&e technically, story only loosely follows show canon tbh.

reader/you are a female with female parts. reader/you are also a pogue. reader/you also has a past/personality/style. this is self indulgent and i am not sorry.

word count + prev. part

part 9 <- can be read by clicking the bold.

2932 words exactly.

summary

"If you're about to tell me JJ is hurting right now, Pope.." you trail off, taking a drag. It's your first cigarette of the day so your head swims. You lean your head back against the wall. "I'm sorry. I know. I hate it but I can't just go back to the way it was. And he's the one who went silent on me for–" you go quiet and breathe in, breathe out. The two if you sit in silence for a few seconds.

Then Pope speaks up.

"I'm more worried about you, actually. Topper is an asshole. And he could be using–" this time its you that silences Pope, shaking your head. "If he is then I'll learn a hard lesson. He's not like that with me, Pope."

taglist + shoutouts

-- taglist is here <- click to be taken to it.

@ellamae021 @writingreadinglurkingandsmirking - your comments always make my day omg ilysm and i enjoy talking to you it makes my day! @valentineshiftz - you are the sweetest i swear. i'm so glad you enjoy this you don't know how much it means to me! @stilesstilinskisgf - babes omg your comments make me smile omfg. thank you so much and i am so glad you're enjoying this so far. @fluffybunnyu - ahhhh i'm so glad you're enjoying this thank you sm it means the world to me babes! you're the sweetest omg. @tbmunson - you are bae and ilysm. you're amazing and idk what i'd do without you. really hope you like where this went because tbh it took me totally by surprise.