#and even then he starts first and foremost with a sincere apology

[rollinouttahere-writes]

It took the better part of a year, but I've finally figured out where to go with Joyride. A lot of people have been asking for this, so I hope it lives up to your expectations.

Joyride (Part 2)

Part 1

Yandere Ace x GN Isekai Reader

4.8k words

Warning! This contains pretty much every Ace related spoiler btw!

When going into a world you already know everything about, you don’t exactly expect to be surprised by anything. Sure, there will be slight changes and alternate interactions now that you’ve been unceremoniously dropped in, but you had been anticipating for the story to follow all the same beats.

Which is why you were really thrown off when Ace didn’t go his separate way when he was supposed to.

Luffy had succeeded in defeating Crocodile and stopping his plan for dictatorship of Alabasta, but Ace was still here. Granted, having Ace around was hardly the worst thing that could happen, but you didn’t understand what was going on with him.

After your downright bizarre interaction during the little joyride he took you on, you’d honestly had every intention of avoiding him going forward. Then he threw a curveball at you by sincerely apologizing later that night. With everything going on right now he just got a little carried away, that’s all, he won’t harass you about it again. Or so he claimed.

You were skeptical initially, but true to his word, he hasn’t brought up you joining the Whitebeard Pirates since. Between that, and him having an unknown advantage over you by being a favorite character of yours, it was easy to find it within yourself to forgive him. You two have been borderline inseparable since, much to the chagrin of your crewmates. 

While Ace hadn’t openly made further attempts to convince you to join his pops’ crew, he’d found a thinly veiled loophole in the form of telling you all kinds of stories about them. You knew this was in and of itself, a method to win you over, but deemed it not worth calling out. Besides, who were you to refuse the opportunity to get some Whitebeard Pirates lore?

There were many late nights filled with quiet conversations about various shenanigans the crew got up to in their free time, of which there were many. An unsurprising fact because of course having that many sibling jam packed onto a ship would turn it into a vessel of chaos. 

If you had a weaker resolve, these stories might have won you over. But no, you need to go home.

Even though you weren’t convinced on switching crews, or even just staying here, there was a different problem arising from all your quality time together.

The longer you spoke and goofed around with him, the deeper and more intricate the conversations became, the more human he became to you. Or course, he’d technically always been a human being, but your mind had always registered him (as well as everyone else here) as a “character” first and foremost. A figure in a fictional story which you just so happened to be in temporarily. 

Now? After spending so much time with him, aftering seeing him make decisions based off his own experiences and preferences rather than being dictated by some omnipotent author, things have changed. He wasn’t Portgas D. Ace, the fan favorite character from One Piece. He was just Ace, your friend.

With this came something you never saw coming. Guilt. An all consuming, agonizing guilt that picked away at you every single second of the day.

You knew what was to come. You knew what was going to happen to him. What were you doing about it? Absolutely nothing. And for what? For the sake of preserving a story that’s already been altered from your mere presence?

What a disgusting excuse of a friend you were.

The internal conflict you were going through hadn’t gone unnoticed, not when it was taking such a high toll on you. Nami was the first to start grilling you on it. Naturally, she immediately started pointing fingers at Ace as being the cause, which while not wrong, she wasn’t correct in the way she believed herself to be either. It was hardly his fault that you had a heavy conscience. 

Sanji had also picked up on your struggles and was very concerned about the bags under your eyes, even offering to make some tea to assist with sleeping. An offer you turned down perhaps more harshly than truly necessary, but being trapped in a deeper sleep sounded awful with the nightmares you’ve been having.

It had been upsetting enough to watch Ace die through a screen, but in your dreams you were right there. It felt so real.

A suffocating heat burned at your skin and seared your lungs with every panicked breath, which only became more frantic as hot blood splattered over your face. Life was rapidly draining from Ace’s eyes as he collapsed into the waiting arms of his now deeply traumatized brother.

Your feet were rooted to the ground, all you could do was stare in horror as he looked up at you with tearful, pleading eyes. “Why?” The word was more so coughed out than spoken, spraying out more blood that he couldn’t afford to lose. An arm extended towards you, the hand locking onto your own. His nails dug into your skin, drawing out blood of your own to mix with his into a revolting cocktail. “You could have stopped this. How could you do this to me?”

The last word was wheezed out and his body went limp as his dead, lifeless eyes stared through you. A soul wrenching scream tore its way out of Luffy’s throat, only to morph into your own as you were mercifully ripped from your slumber.

The screaming damn near gave Ace a heart attack, you’re sure of it. This nightmare had occurred after you and him had become separated from the rest of the group while traversing the desert, and you had found a compact cave for the two of you to pass the night in.

What made it worse was how he reacted. He was so concerned, even fretting over you as you desperately tried to get your breathing under control. The compassion in his eyes had done nothing to comfort you, it only served to further sicken you. Here he was wanting to save you from something as trivial as a nightmare, yet you couldn’t be bothered to speak up on and prevent his upcoming demise.

The guilt was killing you, and the solution was not only clear, but easy. So why couldn’t you bring yourself to just tell him? To plead and beg for him to give up the chase and not throw his life away. Yet your lips remained sealed. 

All of these elements came to a boil and demanded your attention, so you did what seemed to be the easiest thing to do in your situation. Drink it away.

Now that Luffy had awoken from his brief coma after fighting Crocodile, Alubarna Palace was hosting a lavish party in celebration and thanks for what everyone had done. And what high end party would be complete without absurd amounts of alcohol?

It started with one, purely to help ease your nerves. However, when it didn’t, you poured yourself another. And then a few more. Zoro had initially been thrilled to have you as a drinking buddy, but apparently even he had his limits and had cut you off.

“The hell’s gotten into you? You’re drinking like you’re trying to run from demons,” the bottle of expensive liquor had been moved out of reach when you tried to go for it again.

“You have no idea,” you slurred out, head spinning from your evening of poor decision making.

Zoro shot you a questioning look, but didn’t press it, likely knowing full well that getting a coherent conversation out of you right now would be impossible. He heaved out a sigh and stood up, “I’m going to get you some water, stay right there.”

Thoroughly defeated, you slumped back into your chair. After all that, you still couldn’t get your dilemma out of your head. Your “demons” continued gnawing at your soul, and all that your drinking had done about it was ensure that you would have a miserable hangover in the morning.

Your head lulled to the side, and you caught sight of a familiar orange hat. Speak of the devil. While you were in the throws of self inflicted misery, Ace was happily taking advantage of all the food being offered. Good for him. He deserved a nice night. 

As if acting on its own, your body managed to get up onto its feet. You shambled towards him, doing your best not to fall flat on your face with each uncoordinated step. Whatever invisible force that had been helping you to make the walk to Ace failed you at the last second, and you crashed into him from behind.

“Shit! Wha- Oh, it’s just you,” Ace whirled around, visibly agitated, but his features relaxed when he realized who it was. He appeared to be ready to say more but you cut him off.

“I need to talk to you.” 

Ace quirked a brow, “Yeah? What’s up?” 

From the expectant look he was giving you, it’s clear that he’s waiting for you to spill your guts here and now. You shook your head, “No, it’s… It’s a secret. We have to go somewhere else.” Realization flashed across his face and he nodded. Fortunately for you, he led the way. You honestly did not think you’d be able to scout out a place for this discussion. You were finally going to come clean and tell him everything before you could sober up and come to your senses.  

It was going well. At least it was, until he passed out and took you down with him. You both collided onto the floor with a resounding thud, him on top of you. The hall you’d slipped into was empty, meaning there was no one here to help you. 

You groaned as you attempted to move, the fall had hit you harder than it should have thanks to the copious amounts of alcohol in your system. You were also mentally kicking yourself for not seeing this coming. He was eating when you stumbled into him, of course it was only a matter of time before this happened.

Whatever, there isn’t time to be bemoaning a minor inconvenience. You manage to shimmy out from under him and use the wall to get to your feet. Ace is snoring on the floor, not a care in the world. Hopefully he’ll wake up soon. 

Taking a look around, you see a door just a couple steps away. You inch your way over to it and try the knob. It clicks open, and you peer in. Looks like some sort of guest room, and it’s empty. Perfect.

Pushing the door open fully, you turn back to Ace. He’s still asleep, but you don’t want to wait around for him to wake up on his own and run the risk of being seen. You lean down to grab the closest part of him, his right foot, and pull. You’re not sure if he’s actually heavy, or if you’re just too drunk for this, but you tip over while trying to do this and fall flat on your ass.

“Huh?” Ace’s head snapped up and he looked around owlishly. The second his eyes connected with yours, he remembered what he was doing before his narcoleptic tendencies took the wheel. He laughed, a light blush on his face, as he got to his feet, “Sorry about that, you alright?”

“I’m fine, get in here,” you urged him to hurry, which he did. In the time it took you to stand again, Ace had already slipped into the room, closed the door, and flicked on a lamp so you two wouldn’t be talking in complete darkness. You eye the door for a moment, then grab a chair and drag it over to wedge it under the doorknob. Someone walking in on the conversation you were about to have would be something of a worst case scenario.

Ace watched this curiously, “Is everything okay?”

This probably looked weird, but oh well, it’s about to get a lot weirder. You decide to sit on the bed and motion for Ace to join you, which he does. You take one of his hands in both of yours and stare at him intensely, “I need to tell you something. It’s going to sound insane, but you need to promise me you won’t tell anyone about this.”

He repeated his previous question, asking again if everything was okay, but you cut him off, “Promise me, please!”

Your desperation got through to him, “Okay, I promise! What’s going on?”

Here goes nothing. You take a deep breath and take the leap, “You need to stop going after Blackbeard.”

Ace recoiled immediately, and if you hadn’t been holding onto his hand for dear life, he probably would have backed away from you. “What? I can’t do that, why would y-”

“Let me finish!” You snapped at him, only to immediately regret it. You sighed, “Please. There’s more, please let me finish talking first, and then you can talk.”

While he did not look happy about it, he did relax his shoulders and settled back into the bed. You took this as your cue to continue, “You need to stop going after Blackbeard because you will die if you do.” Ace exhaled sharply and rolled his eyes at this, assuming that this was coming from a place of fear and doubt.

“I know this because,” you took in a shuddering breath, steeling yourself for what was to come. “I know this because in the world that I came from… This world is a story.”

Ace stares at you wide eyed and slack jawed. He laughed, but was very clearly uncomfortable, “I, uh, I think you’ve had a little too much to drink tonight. How about I take you back to your room to sleep it off, okay?” 

He tried to stand, but you yanked him back down, “No! I’m not drunk! Well, I mean, I am, but I know what I’m talking about! I can prove it.”

His expression was nothing short of incredulous, but he indulged you, “Yeah, okay, sure. Go ahead, prove it.”

“You’re hunting down Blackbeard because he murdered Thatch so he could steal his devil fruit,” you started light. Ace had told you about Thatch being the one he was avenging, but he’d never mentioned the devil fruit before, likely not deeming it an important enough detail. His brows knit together and his eyes drifted upwards as he racked his brain to remember if maybe he actually had said something about it.

“Before you were with Whitebeard, you were captain of the Spade Pirates. Your first member was Masked Deuce, who you met while being stranded on an island together. It’s where you found your devil fruit and built Striker,” he hadn’t told you anything in regards to his old crew, and his face reflected that. You definitely had his attention now.

“You and Luffy were raised by mountain bandits because Garp couldn’t raise you two himself. It wasn’t just you guys, though, you had another brother named Sabo, but he was killed when he tried to set sail and got shot down,” at this point, you were saying whatever came to mind with no regard to whether or not it was a good idea to say this right now. You couldn’t bring yourself to keep looking him in the eye, so you settled for staring at his hand in yours. It was completely slack.

“Your parents are Portgas D. Rouge and Gol D. R-”

Before you could finish the sentence, Ace’s free hand clamped over your mouth with such ferocity that you almost fell off the bed. Forcing yourself to make eye contact again, you see that his are blown wide and wild. The color has been drained from his face and he looked physically ill from hearing everything you just threw at him.

An extremely tense moment passed with nothing to be heard beyond his labored breathing. Then, he hesitantly let go of your face and with a shaky voice said, “Okay. I’m sorry. I believe you. What… What’s going to happen if I keep pursuing Blackbeard?”

You attempted to swallow the lump in your throat, but it refused to go away, “When you catch up with him, you’ll fight, but lose. Your powers are no match for his, you don’t stand a chance against him. After your loss, he turns you in to the marines. 

“Because of who your father is, they decide to make an example out of you and sentence you to death.”

“That bastard turns me in and I get executed?” He sounds like the wind has just been knocked out of him. Disbelief and bitterness are the two most prevalent emotions in his tone, but many others brew beneath the surface.

“Not exactly,” it’s true that he gets turned in and killed, but it’s nowhere near that simple and straightforward. “Luffy comes to your rescue at Marineford, and so does Whitebeard and a lot of his crew.”

Before you could go more into detail, Ace speaks up, “They… W-Why would they do that?”

“Why would they- You have to ask?!” Your voice raises and you have to remind yourself of just how much character development he has to go through in that arc to finally realize and accept the fact that he’s genuinely loved. “Because you’re family, their family! They care about you and don’t want to see you die!”

Your outburst shocked him, but not as much as seeing you start to cry did. His hand is abandoned and you lurch forward to bring him into a suffocatingly tight hug, “Y-You are so loved, you know that? They l-love you so much! A lot of people do! I do! We all want to see you live and be happy!” You limply hang off of him as more tears bubble to the surface, greedily taking the chance to escape with every sob as you finally let out everything you’ve been keeping in. Ace makes no move to return your embrace, he just sits there stiff as a board. 

“A-And, at that battle, you’re killed by Admiral Akainu while protecting Luffy. He’s devastated by it, being forced to watch you die hurts him so bad,” you cling onto him tighter upon feeling him flinch from your words. “Whitebeard dies there too.”

“What?! How could anyone kill him? That can’t be right!” You’re wrenched off Ace violently and his stare is almost as unhinged as it was when you said his parents’ names.

“Blackbeard does it,” Ace freezes at this. “That should give you an idea of how strong he is. If he can kill Whitebeard, fighting you is nothing to him. Besides, you of all people would know how hard it is to kill him,” you chuckle but it’s humorless, empty even.

A heavy stretch of silence follows after that. Ace’s eyes don’t leave your face for even a second, desperately searching for anything that would tell him that this is all one big, sick joke. But there’s nothing of the sort. 

Slowly, he releases your shoulders and he shifts away from you to rest his head in his hands. Without his support, you allow yourself to fall back onto the bed. Between all the alcohol and your emotional outburst, you’re exhausted and want nothing more than to sleep. You try to force yourself to stay awake, but it feels like an insurmountable task. 

“Hey, Ace?” There’s no answer, but you continue anyway, “I’m sorry. I know that was a lot. If, um… If you don’t believe me about knowing what’s going to happen, stick around until after we set sail again. Bon Clay- Mr. 2- is going to bring the Going Merry over here so that we don’t have to backtrack. Marines will be all over the place, but he sacrifices himself so that Luffy and his crew can get away. Once they’ve lost the marines, Nico Robin will reveal herself to have been hiding on the ship and joins the crew.”

Ace continues to not react to what’s being said, you’re not even sure he’s listening to you at this point. As much as you want to comfort him, your limbs feel like lead and your head is swimming. The last thing you see is the jolly roger of the Whitebeard’s staring you down as you fade into darkness.

—

Consciousness comes back to you slowly. Painfully so. Before you can even make out your surroundings, you’re assaulted by the worst headache of your life. The stabbing pain behind your eyes is crippling, all you want is to retreat back to the comfort of sleep, but you know that’s not going to happen.

It doesn’t help that your mouth is so dry that you feel like you’re back in the desert. One hand comes up to gingerly massage your eyes. The action brought more discomfort than relief, but it did clear up your sight a little. 

As your senses ebb back into you, you hone in on the pressure all over your body. It takes considerable effort, but you manage to lift your head enough to take a look. Your nose is less than an inch from bumping into someone else’s. Chopper’s to be exact. He was curled up into your side and using your chest as a pillow. Looking past him, Luffy was sprawled across your lap, belly up. Both of them were still asleep.

You prop yourself up on one arm. Chopper shifts, but doesn’t wake. Off to your side is a bedside table with a glass of water on it. Oh, thank God. Using the arm you aren’t propped up with, you grab it and bring the cup to your lips. The water is divine, an absolute blessing for your dry throat.  

As you enjoy your drink, your eyes glance around to observe the rest of the room. It’s the one you all have been staying in since saving Alabasta. Most of your friends are in their respective beds, except for Chopper and Luffy, obviously. Zoro was also not in his bed, instead being slumped over in a chair next to your own.

Your eyes flicker over to the massive windows of the room, and you spot Ace sitting in the windowsill. From the way he’s positioned, he appears to be awake already. Your gaze narrows as you focus on him. Something tickled at the back of your mind, demanding to be remembered. But what?

“Y-You are so loved, you know that? They l-love you so much! A lot of people do! I do! We all want to see you live and be happy!” 

The water going down your throat is suddenly going out of it when you choke. Memories come back and hit you like a train as you realize what exactly it is you did last night.

Naturally, this wakes up Chopper and Luffy, who are both jolted from their once peaceful sleep by you choking on your drink. Chopper immediately starts to panic, “AH! Don’t die, (Y/N)!”

—

It was crucial that you speak to Ace again, but it seemed like the world itself was committed to making sure that didn’t happen. Ace slipped out of the room while everyone was fussing over you, and it honestly felt like he was avoiding you now. Everytime you thought you might be able to catch him alone, either he vanishes, or someone else comes out of nowhere to drag you away.

Today was the day you all set sail from Alabasta, and while that did put you in close proximity with Ace, it also put everyone else within earshot of you two. And considering the delicate nature of what you needed to talk about, that was extremely inconvenient. 

The only good thing was that the events following leaving Alabasta played out exactly how they were supposed to. Hopefully that meant that Ace would believe you and give up hunting down Blackbeard, but you won’t be able to confirm that unless you speak with him. 

You were so stressed that you’d barely been able to focus on Robin being here. She “introduced” herself to you as if she hadn’t had an extremely uncomfortable run in with you in an alleyway back in Rainbase, but all you could manage was a half-assed handshake before excusing yourself.

For probably the fifteenth time today, you checked to make sure that Striker was still tied to the Merry. It was, much to your relief. But where was Ace hiding? You haven’t seen him since Robin showed herself.

The stress of trying and failing to corner him was doing nothing to help with your hangover, your head felt like it was about to explode. Did you still have Advil in the bag you got isekai’d here with? Maybe. Pushing off the railing, you march to where your room is while praying that you’re right about the painkillers.

You open the door without much thought, only to stop dead in your tracks when you catch sight of Ace rummaging through your belongings and stuffing them into his backpack. The door opening did briefly make him stop and peer over his shoulder to see who it was, but the second he saw it was you, he went right back to pillaging. 

“Can I help you? Why are you robbing me?” You stomp over to where he’s crouched down and shove his shoulder. 

“I’m not robbing you, I’m packing for you,” Ace mumbled, sounding lost in thought.

“Why would you be packing for me? Actually, you know what? That’s the least of my concerns right now, we need to talk about last night.”

“We’ll talk about it later, not here.” He still hasn’t properly faced you, and you were getting sick of only making eye contact with his tattoo and not him. 

“Where else would we talk about it?!” You hissed.

Seeming content with his work, he stood up and kicked the dresser drawer shut, “On the Striker. Or maybe the Moby Dick, I guess. I’m going back and you’re coming with me.”

You can’t believe what you’re hearing, “Excuse me?”

“I’m going back to the Moby Dick, and you’re coming with me.” Ace had finally turned to face you. His eyes were sunken and vaguely bloodshot. 

The sight catches you off guard, “Did you sleep at all last night?”

He shook his head, “No, we’re going to have to stop somewhere else to sleep before going the rest of the way back home.”

“Ace, I’m not going with you. Look, I’m happy that you’re calling off your hunt, relieved honestly, but I’m staying here.” You will ideally be figuring out how to go home sometime soon, there’s no sense in hopping around from crew to crew now.

One of his eyes twitched, and he looked exasperated, “You can’t stay here. You aren’t safe here.”

“What are you-”

“Let me finish,” the words were spoken calmly, but very firm. “I don’t think you understand how serious this is. You apparently know everything about this world and what’s going to happen in it, do you have any idea what will happen to you if word gets out about this?”

“You’re the only person I’ve told, so as long as you keep your mouth shut, I’ll be fine.”

“Until you get drunk again and tell someone else, then what?” His words were just as scathing as his gaze.

Your face flushed in shame, “That won’t happen again.”

“You don’t know that!” Ace snapped at you, then sighed and dragged a hand down his face, “This is for your own good. Nothing good will come from anyone else learning about this. If it ever got back to someone like Big Mom, she would send every single one of her children after you so she could have you on her side. And that’s the nicer option. I’m sure the marines would be more than happy to kill you off so that no one else could have you if they can’t.”

Throughout this entire conversation, his face had remained uncomfortably neutral, but now it cracked. Fondness peaked through the exhaustion as his expression softened ever so slightly. He steps forwards and brings you against him in a crushing embrace. His skin is hot to the touch, effectively chasing away any chill that you may have had.

“You said you wanted to see me live, and I want to see you live, too.” The words are hushed, you wouldn’t have been able to hear him if he hadn’t been speaking right next to your ear.

Reluctantly, he pulls himself away. His face is serious again, “We’re leaving tonight, be ready to go.”

“But-”

“If you don’t come willingly, I will make you. The only thing that you resisting will accomplish is making this messier than it needs to be. Even if you don’t like this now, you will thank me for it later.”

Ace spins on his heel and heads for the door. All you can do is stand there gawking at him as he leaves. Just before the door closes behind him, he spares a glance over his shoulder to say, “I’ll see you tonight.”

#one piece x reader #one piece x y/n #one piece x you #yandere one piece #portgas d ace #fire fist ace #monkey d luffy #nami #cat burglar nami #one piece #sanji #black leg sanji #tony tony chopper #nico robin #roronoa zoro #platonic yandere

[erwinsvow]

maybe not ward cause when is he not fake dead but it’s the fact reader would walk past rose in the hallway in just one of rafe’s shirts and both women would just share a look like 👀 ‘let’s not kid ourselves, you know, i know. can we just not…’

also apparently there was a scrapped ‘rose slept with rafe storyline’ and my first thought was wtf, then, not on my girl ‘reader’s’ watch.

it's not appropriate. you know it, rafe knows it. and the two of you should really be more careful, because it's starting to seem like neither of you care about who's at home anymore who's listening, on each other like rabbits all times of the day.

at least when wheezie was around, the two of you were more concerned, wanting to make sure she wasn't accidentally traumatized, but now she's away at camp and sarah's barely at home, so the thought of being quiet and cautious was out the door.

you're sure rafe's step-mom doesn't like you—that she thinks you're a poked hole in a condom away from being a permanent fixture in rafe's life. you've even overheard her once, asking mr. cameron to talk to rafe about easing up, that accidental pregnancies ruin lives, that you're out to ruin rafe.

your feelings are hurt, of course. you don't think there's a person in kildare who doesn't like you, and the idea that someone in rafe's family is out to break that streak stings painfully. but rafe doesn't care about his stepmom or her opinion, so you follow his lead. you tried your hardest to be nice to her, but if she didn't want to be nice back, you weren't gonna keep trying.

rafe was good about instilling his own life rules in you—first and foremost, not to bend over backwards for anyone, except him.

that's why this feels extra awkward—running into his step-mom while clad just in his button up, haphazardly thrown on so you can go down stairs to get some water. you suck in a breath, awkwardly making eye contact. you don't wanna look away first, no, rafe says the weaker one does that. you keep looking, frozen in place, wrapping your arms around yourself and bringing the rafe scented cloth closer to you.

"sorry," you start, though you don't think there's any sincerity in your apology. "if we were being too loud."

she doesn't respond, walking away. you get your water and head back up to rafe's room, wanting to tell him but feeling like you shouldn't. rafe didn't outright tell you that his step mom was suggesting something other than a normal relationship to him, but it didn't take a genius to figure it out.

she'll just have to keep trying, you think, leaving the door a crack open, so more sound would escape that way.

soooooo in my opinion that tracks....there's sm tension in that scene with rafe the stepmom n the knife in season two!!! i cant be the only one who picked up on that. ur so right though not on readers watch shes looking out for her man!! this got weird n darker than other stuff i write so dont send me hate just close ur eyes <3

#i kinda made this weird n dark sorry guys #loving all the convos tn tysm for sending baeee made me get out of my comfort zone a lil #📮 asks

[stilemawillow]

MTIJ | Ch.30 City of Dumbassery, Here I Come

|mtij masterlist|

pairing: levi ackerman x reader

word count: 13k

summary: a girl with a variety of hidden complexes has to live with a french asshole for nine months. easy? on the surface. problematic? definitely. romantic? not too much, or at least they’d make it a point to say so everytime when asked. the end? please, their dynamic isn’t as simple as that.

warnings: nsfw content; mentions of nudity; virginity loss; oral sex (f! receiving); protected sex; explicit sexual content; reader discretion advised

A hundred-dollar question: where do people go to blow off steam when their interns weren’t back back from their vacation yet? First and foremost, never City of Dumbassery as it’s not a place for relaxation. I might’ve been its main population these days, but I fancied myself a rational person capable of making the right choices when needed. Pretend you’re not looking at my romantic history. The right choice, however, wasn’t always right in the heat of the moment, only in perspective, so we begin this scene with me, seated on Erwin Smith’s couch with Hanji Zoe and a cup of coffee.

For more information on the right-est choice I made as of late, keep watching. Or as asshole-me insists on promoting: Come see the prequel to the biggest fuck-up of this girl’s life. I, though oblivious to its imminent eventuation at the point where we start, had a vague notion of what I wanted the next few days to look like. Let’s just say, humourlessly enough, that my wildest dreams came nowhere close to the reality that would take place.

“I’m sorry about last time, (Y/N). I didn’t know about you and Eren.” Hanji’s contrite apology made my smile widen as I lifted the cup of coffee to my lips. Dismissing the fact she brought the topic right back with the intention to make amends, Hanji was a good person and clearly sincere in her ways of regarding me. Kindness was one thing, but this woman’s pure cordiality was admirable.

“It’s not a problem. I could tell it wasn’t your intention to hurt me.” The corner of my mouth twitched in self-reproach at the manipulative bullshit I let slip. Instantly, I corrected: “Not that I was hurt.” If it’d been Annie, she wouldn’t straight-up laughed. Had it been Levi, he would’ve stared at me like I was dumb for thinking him dumb enough to buy it. But this was Hanji and she just smiled reassuringly.

“You can share if you want to. That’s what I’m here for with all my friends,” she offered. It sounded tempting but I couldn’t allow myself that kind of openness yet. Annie was, as always, the only person who knew the full story in all its repulsive glory but if I wanted to preserve (Levi’s privacy) my reputation, I couldn’t tell the whole thing here. The whole thing – look at me dodging the serious parts in an attempt to make myself feel better. I couldn’t tell Hanji about my intoxicated attempt to sleep with her friend, who gave dubious if any consent. Sounded appropriately disgusting like this.

“Mike and Erwin seem like they lead pretty decent lives, though.” Redirecting the topic, ignoring everything weird, dismissing all as a dirty scheme meant to humiliate me – a methodical step-by-step guide on how to be a paranoid bitch. It would’ve been my equivalent of the Bible if I weren’t an atheist. Even if I regularly used OMG, if I had to pick a fictional character to believe was real, at least I’d pick one from a book with a legit author – something by King, Thackeray, Hemingway, Tolkien, Orwell or Hawthorne. Following that train of thought, I might as well start worshipping Mickey Mouse – it’d do me more good than the big guy with the beard who loves me but would make me suffer for all eternity for stepping out of line once. I did it a lot.

“It wasn’t always like that. Not to mention Levi was stuck in the gutter a month back.” Hanji’s words snapped me out of my daze. “I know I told you to wait for him, but I don’t trust him, so make sure you keep this conversation a secret,” she warned while leaning forward as if afraid the walls would hear. The suspense, though exaggerated and a bit comical, made me put down my coffee. “So, you know how Petra is mentioned here and there?” I nodded. “She was Levi’s fiancé. She died in a car crash last October.” I knew I should’ve reacted appropriately but I couldn’t force it quickly enough. Hanji noticed. “You don’t look shocked.”

“No, but I am surprised. A lot of things make sense now. I’m sorry for your loss.” I hastened to make a recovery to lessen the doubt along the planes of her face. A pang tugged on my heart. When I considered the alternate reality where Petra hadn’t died, the notion of Levi not arriving for his internship was incomprehensible. He’d be studying hard at home and married. No rings, no chaos, no cheating for me – yes, good, but no company around the house either, no distraction and no comfort.

“You haven’t done anything to apologise for it,” Hanji said. “Anyways. Shorty was in a really bad place the months after. Working himself to the bone, no sleep, no food, no nothing. He just had to be doing something. The one good thing that came out of it was his weekly visits to his mother.” A small pause, a moment of consideration for her and an odd feeling of fascination for me. I was soaking it up like a sponge because I was seeing, at last, his angle. “Maybe it hit him that if death came for Petra, it could come for Kuchel, too. I can’t know for sure. All I know is he exhausted himself to the point he collapsed. Unconscious for three whole days. Isabel told him he’d gotten the internship when he woke up.”

“So he used it as an escape,” I finished. It was a logical conclusion. Hanji nodded. Avoiding pain wasn’t the way but he’d been desperate to get away and the internship had been the perfect opportunity. He’d grabbed his bags, boarded the plane and then… well, had to deal with me. Not a warm welcome by any means. He hadn’t even had the energy to get angry or look like he felt anything. I hadn’t known, hadn’t cared enough to see. It made me uncomfortable to realise it.

“Flew over a whole ocean and kept working,” Hanji proceeded. “He wanted something to distract himself with. When he ran out of work because he did overtime, he started calling home more often. Vague details were all he gave, but I got the feeling he had something else to work on.” Hanji’s words made a lopsided smile kiss my lips. He’d wanted to busy himself with my well-being, but I’d taken it the wrong way, as I often did. Nowadays the matter was often used against him but never by him – wasn’t that funny?

“Becoming the spoiled brat’s babysitter,” I filled in kindly, but Hanji’s disapproving frown meant to reproach along with the eloquent gesture of her crossing her arms. I didn’t regret the way I worded it. Eren, Annie, Mikasa and my mother had often tried to make me rethink my ways, but results were yet to manifest. This story, with me as the shitty protagonist most likely to be insufferable contrary to sympathy-inducing, portrayed reality as I saw it – and reality often neglected character development.

“He never called you either, but he did mention taking care of you had the same effect as working, if not better. I felt he might find himself a friend, so I supported him. I think I made the right choice. You have a lot in common,” Hanji declared. It struck a cord – did we really? Our arguments were fire lashing out at ice – not something that happened with people got along. Levi was hard to anger whereas I had a short fuse – everything was a personal insult. No easier target than a conceited paranoid.

“On the topic of that,” I piped. “How do you forget somebody?” The question was light-hearted. I decided to dismiss the whole story so I could ponder it later. Hanji’s brows furrowed as she smiled sympathetically. She couldn’t imagine the situation well enough. The question was I over Eren? had kept at a safe distance from my mind during my birthday vacation and the beginning of August only to assault it now with pitiless ire.

Things kept coming back when I least needed them. Thoughts of the twinkle in his teal eyes or the crooked smile he always wore before a kiss, the sound of his voice – the softness he’d told me he loved me with the first time, the haunting quiver in it when we were breaking up. I woke up at night with the howl of planes taking off and landing. On some mornings, I woke up, hoping to hear a knock at the door and see his face. Would he be more tan? Would his eyes be the same? Would his hair be styled differently? Would he have grown taller?

But, (Y/N), a voice would say in my head, people don’t grow taller just like that, it’s physically impossible.

Eren can, I’d argue, because Eren is my boyfriend and he can do anything if he puts his mind to it.

But Eren wasn’t my boyfriend and he wasn’t a miracle-maker. I’d sit in bed and argue with myself that Eren would come back, that I wanted the best for him and that wasn’t me, that we were done, but that he’d still come back. He never did. A small desperate part of me still hoped for the door to open – any door. Erwin Smith’s apartment’s front door right now, even. I could almost hear his footsteps going up the stairs. I swore I could. I turned to Hanji, a naïve question – can’t you? – flickering in my orbs. She didn’t catch it.

“I’m not an expert,” she said instead. “But Levi can be of help. His coping mechanisms aren’t the best example to follow, but he has a good head on his shoulders. He just doesn’t listen to it.” She might’ve thought, with how desperate I looked, that I might cry. She didn’t know pride would rather have me rip out of my tear ducts before that happened. I didn’t cry often or in many people’s presence. That wasn’t to say I didn’t like Hanji. But Annie and, unfortunately, Levi were the exceptions here. The latter was a mystery, probably my attempt to play a damsel in distress to ask for attention. Attention and help and fucking, might as well – a kiss. Couldn’t he just kiss me sometimes without me having to be in the middle of a mood?

“Yeah, well, I wouldn’t copy those coping mechanisms even if I wanted to. Work, sex and alcohol are never a good mix.” I let out an awkward string of laughter, weirded out by my abrupt disconnection from the conversation and how it turned my thoughts against me. I didn’t miss him that much. Also, he was coming home tomorrow. I had nothing to play the desperate whore for. There was the blondie. That wasn’t jealousy, though. I’d say it was my wish to prove myself better.

“Sex?” Hanji echoed with a conflicted expression.

“Sex with my father’s secretary. I think it was around May. He stormed out after calling her and came back drunk in the middle of the night,” I explained. The brown-haired woman took a second to process the story, then burst out in incredulous laughter. My brows twitched. “What’s so funny?” Was it something else or was I just weird for not thinking my father’s intern and secretary fucking the joke of the century?

“I remember him telling me about that,” she started, voice hinting at a new bout of cackling. “He went to her place for paperwork and she had her boyfriend over. They kept offering him drinks and he agreed to shut them up. Crossed the line at some point. He even got lost on his way back to the house.” I wanted to face-palm using the table and, hopefully, get myself into a coma. Was there a person on this Earth denser than me or was I a phenomenal idiot?

“Oh, God,” I muttered in a wheeze. “I’m so stupid.” Embarrassment and shame painted the tips of my ears bright crimson as I clenched my fists. Hanji patted my shoulder.

“You’re not stupid. I would’ve thought the same if I had no context. Levi would never just have a one-night stand, though. Not the type of person for it. He claims it’s the wrongest way to get over something.” Her brown eyes, previously fixed on me, were now directed at the coffee table. “Might work for you, but he most certainly hates it.” A snort was drawn from her lips as she withdrew her hand from my shoulder. I tried not to think about it, but it was inevitable. Hitch’s party, him refusing, refusing, refusing, because it would be “just like that” and “just like that” was a solution for neither of us.

“I’ll consider it,” I joked. “I was busy up until recently, but maybe university won’t be enough to distract me.” I smiled as Hanji chuckled, patting my back.

“Another boyfriend should do the trick in that case,” she said.

But I don’t want another boyfriend, I wanted to counter. I want your grumpy short friend. The thought froze me up. Asshole-me joined Hanji’s hearty chuckle. Bold of me to think it. Terrible of me to think it. Wrong of me to think it. It was complicated. If romance was not involved here, it was undeniable at this point. I could almost feel it written in capital letters on my forehead.

ATTRACTED TO LEVI ACKERMAN. VERY.

“I’m not ready for the commitment.” Was the only comment to exit my mouth due to the sudden discomfort nestling in the crevice of my ribcage. “I think,” I added awkwardly, reluctant regarding a relationship but very opinionated on the topic of engaging my father’s intern in something inappropriate that would make our relations twice as complicated as they were.

“A friend with benefits then?” Hanji’s mind-reading abilities amazed. I realised it suddenly – that it was natural, this attraction of mine, no matter how humiliating and inconvenient. It wasn’t weird and maybe it wasn’t all that wrong. It was a guy who was three years older than me who lived with me that I considered unreachable. The forbidden fruit, so to say. He was handsome, mysterious and had abs. Natural to be attracted to that. Natural to be attracted to it when I saw it every day and it saw me every day and most times it treated me with passive kindness. So there’d be no harm, I assumed, in initiating something a smidge bigger. What was stopping me? I didn’t have a boyfriend, I wouldn’t feel guilty and I wasn’t insecure because, hey, he’d kissed me last time. Obviously, I wasn’t nasty.

“Update from a virgin to a slut then?” I smirked, a decision born. Hanji’s mouth clamped shut shamefully and I laughed. “I’m kidding, calm down. It was just a joke.” I patted her back. The ring on my finger was cool to the couch and soothing. My resolve, for once, was there. I had a goal. A simple one at that – nothing dangerous. Two words: kiss Levi. I would do it because there was nothing to stop me. I mean, what was the worst that could happen?

…

Imagine an elegant expensive kitchen armed with all kinds of top-quality appliances. Paradise for all little housewives who greet their husbands with a warm meal. I wasn’t that type and the fact I spent four hours cooking more food than a family of six could eat didn’t make me one either. Judging was futile because I took care of that myself during the whole process. Currently, the fruit of my effort sat in front of me – a full three-course meal with different forks to go with the high-class atmosphere. I was far from a successor of Gordon Ramsay, but I outdid myself this time. Why? Last-minute anxiety maybe. Or fear. I needed a distraction because the thought of Eren wouldn’t stop pestering me. Added to that was the fact my father could walk in without Levi. Asshole-me didn’t help.

Bet on the outcome now! A once-in-a-lifetime offer that provides an endless amount of entertainment for the whole family! Fifty bucks says a discount version of William will use the vanishing potion and fly back to France! The other side of the bet? Sorry, I don’t know her. With such a commentator, it was early to skip the food and go straight to consuming my fingernails. Tick-tock, tick-tock, tick-tock. Place your bets right now, your bets need to go in the ballot box, quickly fill out the slips and put them in! Will he go or yes? And what’s the sweat for, princess? Don’t we like watching history repeat itself? I love it. So bet, bet, bet, bet! Come on, faster! If I had a penny for each time your father’s intern left you in the summer, I’d have two pennies. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s hilarious it happened twice!

The jingle of keys pulled the plug on asshole-me’s voice. I’d waited a whole hour now and my head snapped up so fast I heard my neck pop. The front door opened and my heart flinched when my father walked in, dressed in one of those hideous Hawaiian shirts they sold in souvenir shops and flaunting on his nose and cheekbones a really bad case of sunburn. He’d say the sun was harsh in Minnesota. I’d pretend not to hear because believing was impossible. He slipped out of his sandals and I clasped my hands together in excitement.

“Dad, finally! I was starting to think I’d have to reheat everything,” I said. He turned to face the fake exasperation masking the genuine joy I felt at his return. A doubtful smile tugged at the corner of his mouth and my eyes were frantically bouncing from him to the open door. Panic began to well up in my mind. Asshole-me was diligently digging a hole for it, to fit as much as possible.

“A pretty big feast you have there.” Rolland Raven took off the sunglasses he was wearing to eye the food a bit better. I cracked a smile I hoped wouldn’t seem constipated. My thought process was starting to lag due to overload when I heard a faint curse. Next thing, Levi’s pale figure, wearing a ridiculous straw hat. My heart dropped like a stone, plugged the pit of panic and made asshole-me yelp when it nearly crushed her fingers. I felt like stumbling back into my chair and never getting up.

“I guessed you might be hungry after the flight. You don’t have to eat all of it,” I said. It was then a pair of graphite hues shot up to my face. It felt like each muscle in it strained almost to the point of tearing. My father took a seat at the counter while the intern opted to drop off his luggage upstairs and change clothes. I stared after him a second too long while he was climbing the stairs.

“You’ve never waited for me after a business trip before.” (E/c) clashed with (e/c) as my father began picking his food and digging in with more enthusiasm than I’d expected. Levi had mentioned the almightly Raven had complained about the poor quality on the trip compared to what he had at home, but it was still a compliment to witness it manifested.

“I usually have things to do when you’re on business trips, father. This summer I needed a source of entertainment.” I rolled my eyes, letting them scan the interior during the roundabout lie. Lucky enough, they caught the exact moment Levi was leaving his room, tugging down his shirt. A glimpse of fit abdominals. A vague tan line. The food on the counter became a tad bit less appetising.

“Don’t you have Eren Jaeger to help with that?” My father’s question made my attention snap back in place just in time for Levi not to catch me staring. He took a seat at the far end of the counter but I was too preoccupied with a small freak-out fit to dwell on it.

“About that,” I squeaked out with a constipated expression, prompting both men’s attention to turn from half-hearted to wholly undivided. Amazing. I couldn’t have done a better job at it if I’d begun yodelling out of the blue. “Eren broke up with me two months ago.” The key to not sounding like a squeaky toy was to not meet anybody’s gaze. My father was blinking like something had gotten in his eye and Levi’s jaw clenched at the discomfort he was subjected to.

“And I wasn’t notified of that because?” Rolland Raven, among many a quality, was a proud man who, in spite of his profession, could never act quite as predictably as I wished him to. This was no exception because I didn’t have time to open my mouth before he silenced me with a hand in the air. “No, forget I asked. I need to have a serious talk with him. Maybe make him pay back all the dates you’ve handled with interest. We can make a fortune.” The devious plan was voiced in his typical cold-blooded businessman manner. I waved my hands around in discomfort.

“Hold your horses, father. You’re not the one who got dumped. Eren ended the whole thing because he went to study in Germany,” I explained but it wouldn’t satisfy my father, who only glared while putting a fork-full of potatoes in his mouth. Levi tried to become fully invisible. I thought if things got too heated for him, he might make a dash for his room with the dish.

“Unreasonable as can be. If he loved you as much as he had the balls to claim in front of me, he could’ve thought of an alternative that didn’t include breaking your heart. Because of something as insignificant as distance, too.” My father leaned back in his chair with folded arms. He forgot all about food so he could glare at me.

“4898 miles to be exact,” I murmured pitifully. Both men shot me an incredulous look, to which I switched on defence mode. “I did my research. I wasn’t crying the whole time.” Subconsciously copying my father’s position, I reclined in my chair and crossed my arms, glaring like a child prior to giving a sigh and smiling weakly. “I gave it a lot of thought and he did the right thing. So can you be the one to tell mom later?” The last inquiry seemed to surprise him, maybe because it was expected of me to share more with my mother and thus already have her know the super secret information I was handing him.

“I’ll try not to cry as I do.” A nod and a similar weak smile. “You did well not to tell me immediately.” He returned to normal – calculating and sharp, looking for weaknesses and thinking in numbers. Levi’s lack of shock went unnoticed, which I was secretly thankful for. The raven was looking at me playing with the silver band around my finger to soothe my nerves.

“Because you would’ve gone to the airport to kick him to the curb like a good father?” I smirked, a pointed look aimed at the dark-haired businessman, who only snorted in return prior to redirecting his attention back to the food.

“… maybe.” A small pause betraying care, an awkward glance in his intern’s direction conveying mild panic as a result of his feelings showing and a fake clearing of the throat to show discomfiture. He changed the topic immediately. “Have I told you you’ve become a better cook than your mother?” (E/c) clashed with (e/c) and I knew he could see I was holding back laughter by the way the corner of his mouth twitched downwards in displeasure.

“You have now. Congratulations on successfully dodging the topic,” I announced with a complacent grin as he scoffed, ignoring the embarrassment so he could go back to eating. Levi’s gaze was relentless but, once having resolved the current minor conflict, I felt too ashamed to return it. I couldn’t be speaking of Eren, thinking of Levi and acting like a professional whore. It went against my moral code. I wished it was as stable as my pride. Somewhere in my head, asshole-me was drafting an advertisement for the future demise of both.

The following day was unexpectedly laid back in terms of emotions – the process of waking up and going to work was starting to become mechanical. I disliked that I was turning into a nine-to-five zombie, but Melinda’s cross remarks did nothing to hinder my placidity and Adam’s request for a date was, surprisingly, accepted with a pinch of reluctance. It was time for something new, I defended when asshole-me breached the topic of my change of heart. I couldn’t go a whole life without clashing with a man who wasn’t Eren. To forget him, I actually needed to accept that. Because knowing he wouldn’t come back and I didn’t want to get back together was different from realising I couldn’t stay in the comfort zone of being endlessly attached to him and using it as an excuse to never move on.

I felt a smile light up my face the moment I saw Levi in front of the TV with a cup of tea in his hand. Unfortunately, I couldn’t use him to move on – it was the conclusion I drew from the quiet happiness gripping my heart at the sight of him beckoning me over. Everything I’d done had been quite enough. I wouldn’t turn him into a tool as well. So I settled on the couch and we led a half-assed conversation about the movie playing until my parents barged in, beaming and formal. Going for a date at a restaurant – yeah, no, I knew where they were going after. I smiled as we sent them off, and then the ebony-haired intern began choosing the movie we’d be watching and I worked on the snacks downstairs.

Accepted a date, claimed you won’t use him and now you’re pondering the kiss you’ll initiate. You know you’re fucked in the head, correct? Asshole-me piped mockingly, making me huff. I knew I was fucked in the head because she was there. Also, kissing Levi and using Levi were two different things. Different for him how? It’s kissing. It wasn’t. It would be exploring this time – not thinking about being distracted but feeling it for what it was. Jesus, that’s such a weak excuse. I felt she might be face-palming. Seriously, what’s wrong with you? You spent so much time telling your best friend you don’t like him, then you miss Eren, then you “date” Adam, then you grab your friend-zoned intern and decide you’ll be kissing him again – after you established you’re fucking inferior to the blondie who’s clearly hitting on him or clearly intent on doing it too. Can you not follow the timeline?

“Princess, why does Natalie tell me you’ve filled out all the forms related to the company’s income during our vacation?” Levi lowered the phone from his ear. The call had ended a second ago and he was glaring at me doubtfully. I was busy watching the movie – hopefully, excuse enough for scarce to no eye contact. I opened the pack of Doritos I’d dug up from my secret stash in the garage and warily eyed the pale intern’s expression.

“Because the forms were in the office downstairs and I figured they’d get in the way of our movie marathon, asshole. I haven’t messed them up.” My scoff was promptly returned to sender as Levi shoved his phone back in his pocket and clicked his tongue in exasperation. Another three minutes passed before I spoke up: “By the way, I need advice.” The room was dimly lit and the raven’s sharp gaze was on my temple.

“Will you have it in mind when you get back on your bullshit?” The inquiry was flat and doubtful. I tried to nod but it came out looking like a cringe and a shrug. His lips pursed in exhaustion. “Spill,” he ordered coldly, making me pout.

“How do I forget Eren?” Squeaky was the best I could do after becoming tense again. Nervousness was gnawing at the feeble stem of courage I’d managed to grow and my hopes for this to go as smoothly as a chat about the weather were stuck in an elevator on the top floor of a skyscraper. Even overthinking was useless here.

“Easy,” he said. Again, there was that breach of grammar. “Find somebody new. Judging by how much you’re smiling these days, you might as well be done with that.” The suspicious mockery made me snort.

“Don’t you think I might be happy to have you and dad back home?” I asked pointedly.

“No,” he countered with a defiant click of his tongue. What he said next sounded like an extract from a Jorge Bucay book. Something about self-love maybe. “Before you get with Rivers, however, you have to accept that Jaeger is now your ex. He’s part of the past and the past doesn’t hold power over the future if you don’t let it.” I bit back laughter to not offend him.

“Such a poet you are,” I huffed half-heartedly. “And how do I stop loving him?” Seriousness stood perched on my right shoulder, but the Doritos between us kept decreasing and I felt the soothing coolness of the ring on my finger. Our gazes locked and I stared, just because I could, because he was back, because he acted normally. And why wouldn’t he? Our circumstances surely weren’t enough to alter his demeanour.

“You don’t. You never will and you should get used to it.” His answer cut deep and I realised it might’ve confused me but I was too captivated by his eyes to process it. He forced himself to explain: “We never stop loving somebody once we’ve fallen for them. We just fall harder for another person.” It was as romantic as it was businessman-like. A bit too… systematic somehow.

Line up, line up! Asshole-me encouraged. I imagined a big queue in front of an entrance door with a sign bearing my name above it. Number 12, pass through, but beware – number 10 wasn’t careful with his words and number 11 made no effort to change that! The asshole side of me clearly fancied the idea. For all waiting, the Eren Jaeger mural is on the left and the guy on the right is the one you’ll never be! Keep trying but keep this face in mind – Levi Ackerman is hiding in a lot of the corners you’ll visit! He’s an invaluable guest at this establishment! Oh! Is it time for the next one already? Hurry up, number 13! Don’t hold up the queue, who knows how much capacity we have left. And so on until the last victim had walked in. It made my nose scrunch up.

“Does that mean you still haven’t gotten over Petra?” I piped curiously, bright eyes observing closely the intern’s reaction. The movie was no longer as interesting. Everything I could focus on was the furrow between Levi’s brows and the flat unperturbed look in his eyes. He grabbed a Dorito from the pack. I moved my hand away just in time to avoid a clash.

“It means I haven’t fallen in love with the next in line,” he said, reinforcing the notion of a queue. “I’m used to the fact she’d dead. Filling out every report in the world won’t bring her back,” he paused briefly and gulped, “so I go on with my life.” The explanation was simple but relatively quiet, like he was trying to say the words while not exactly aiming to have me hear them. His gaze was staring at the screen ahead as I looked down, trying to come up with a good one-liner to put him out of his discomfort.

“I feel like we’re becoming pensive,” I started with a lopsided smirk, “so let me pull a Reverse Uno card on this mood by saying I’ve reached a milestone in my life.” Licking the Dorito dust off my fingers, I puffed out my chest proudly, making the intern put a hand to his mouth. Maybe he’d bitten back a smile behind it. “I won’t get fined for driving without supervision now. Not to mention, I can have sex.” Waving an index finger in front of his face, I didn’t react when he grabbed it without warning.

“I don’t see what stopped you before,” he stated nonchalantly. I shrugged, concluding I hadn’t exactly shared with him details about my childish vow.

“There was this really religious teacher at school when I was ten – she scarred all her classes by giving them unsolicited Sex Education lectures mixed with Bible verse. Got fired because children complained to their parents, but she did a good one on me before that,” I explained with a smile, yanking my finger from his hold. “Since sex was for sinners – both began with the letter s, she explained to us – and I didn’t want to be a sinner because it meant… well, a bad person, I told myself I’d have sex only after turning eighteen, regardless of the temptation. So I held out. Proud of myself for that.” My complacent smile made him snort. He might’ve glanced at my lips right after.

“I’m sure there’s been a lot of temptation for you, princess,” he drawled in a deep sarcastic voice, moving the empty bag of Doritos away before wiping his fingers with as I processed the retort. I sat still, pouting for a fraction of a second, when it hit me this was my chance. The signal was there – shining in bright green, if I wasn’t color-blind – and it was time for me to grasp the opportunity.

“More than you can imagine, asshole,” I said with a scoff, not parting my eyes from his profile to observe his reaction. We cast aside the fact he could’ve poked fun at me being the furthest thing from a believer, yet such a big aspect of my life had been altered by a religious teacher. The tip of his nose twitched when he snorted in dismissal, not daring to meet my eye all of a sudden.

“The mood has been brightened. What do we do now?” He turned to face me, curious but hesitant, and I felt a surge of courage at the sight of the indecisiveness dawdling about in his grey eyes. The blue specks were calling me – count us, (Y/N), count us – and I concluded this would be the one time I initiated anything between us. It was stressful and scary, but it was Levi, so want overpowered fear, resulting in something we’d have a hard time sorting out our feelings on.

“Watch the movie you so diligently picked for us maybe?” But actions contradicted words because I was leaning in and he could see it. For two whole seconds, there was no movement on his end. Panic was about to make me pull back, pin it to something else, anything else, when his hand lifted, slender fingers gently tucking my hair behind my ear. This was it. It would happen. I was exploring what it’d be like without the guilt of purposefully seeking distraction.

It was slow – the first kiss – his lips barely landing on top of mine so we could taste the water even when we knew it was lukewarm. The movie was like white noise – I could catch fragments of dialogue and the screen illuminated Levi’s profile the few times my lids fluttered open. His hold on the side of my face was gentle, granting permission for me to pull back at any point. I didn’t know what he was thinking. I knew I was barely thinking and it felt nice, for my head to be so blissfully empty. It was all sensations and when he dragged his tongue over my bottom lip, my mouth opened to allow access for further exploration. The kiss deepened and I tried to push closer into him.

“Get on top,” he muttered into my mouth. His right hand dipped to grab my leg. I might’ve flushed bright red, but I still complied, slowly straddling him and letting his hands guide me to where he found it most comfortable. I was terribly aware of what I sat on. It might’ve been terribly aware of me, too.

It was slow and fast at the same time. We weren’t breaking the kiss but some moments of it – like his hand brushing my side and making me cover in goosebumps – were fleeting like blinks while others – like the weird scorching thing in my whole torso – felt endless. It was indescribable to a point, the heat of the moment but the moment was long and the pace was changing slightly the more it went on. It hadn’t been him either. It was him responding to me, because I couldn’t for the life not hold him tightly and subconsciously look for more. We were glued together and his fingers had tentatively pushed up my shirt at the back so they could trail up and down the curve of my spine.

My head was tilted, fingers tangled in his hair and heavy huffs escaping my nostrils. He smelled like lavender and rain and cologne, and my fucking conditioner I’d told him a thousand times to stop using because it was expensive. I didn’t bother scolding him about it now. My desperate want turned the kisses hungrier and there was this point – I might’ve wiggled slightly to find an even closer spot – but he stiffened and grabbed the back of my head, growing twice as persistent and passionate. Weird, using that word about him. It hit me the forbidden part of male anatomy I was seated on top of had risen to attention. It made me wonder if it had happened before and that, in turn, was simultaneously embarrassing and flattering. He was attracted to me, too. Duh. We were literally making out on my bed.

When more began translating as more of everything instead of more of this particular thing, he seemed to sense the shift. His hands guided me off his lap and back on the bed. My head was resting against the pillow and my head was empty, lids fluttering open to drink the sight of him the first time he broke the kiss – pale but handsome, tired but caring, bored but clearly moved by the happening. It was a miracle. I’d been begging for this statue to show me anything in the beginning of his internship. I hadn’t known it could show me this – it looked like a godsend. My heart was going a hundred miles per hour, my breath was unsteady and my body felt hot all over.

It didn’t matter where he kissed – my lips, my neck, my chest, my shoulders – I just wanted him to keep kissing me. Temptation had seldom been this strong and the vow was no longer active, it was fulfilled – an electrifying realisation. I didn’t need to have him stop. What my sinner’s hands did the moment that resolution snapped in place was to grab the hem of his shirt and, with pointed urgent eyes, plead with him to take it off. He hesitated for exactly one second, then complied, like he’d complied with everything else without having me say it. He was kneeling between my legs, arms going over his head so the piece of clothing could be discarded. His chest and abdomen flexed, the biceps, the triceps, all the other names of muscles I’d had to read about but hadn’t memorised. Adonis in the flesh. Fuck me for drooling. Oh.

If I could paint, I’d paint him. If I could sing, I’d write a song. If I had a taser, I’d tase myself out of being so cringe-worthy in admiring the body of a man. But when that body pressed against mine, everything became a bit too hot – literally and metaphorically – so I decided the next step was to cool down by taking off my own clothes. First the shirt, then the pants he helped out with. I almost laughed when they tangled at my ankles and he had to tug them off with an irritated frown. Here it was, having my father’s intern see my bra again. This time I didn’t mind.

“Frills? Seriously?” Well, now I minded.

“Do we have an issue?” I snapped with a pointed look. It didn’t help he was towering over me, sizing up my underwear with eyes that spoke simultaneously of him being amused and him being something else. I wondered if he was still hard. I hadn’t touched there once.

“It’s almost cute,” he mocked flatly. He didn’t reach to take it off – he just leaned down to mollify me with a kiss. It worked. I was carried off into wanting more again. The weight of him on top of me grounded the body and made the soul soar. It was a cringe comparison but whatever, it was true. I realised, right about the time I tugged on the waistband of his sweatpants and his brows flashed in unrestrained surprise, that I was an eighteen-year-old doing exactly what was expected of every single eighteen-year-old on the planet – sneaking a boy into my room while my parents were out.

This here was a boy I trusted and a boy I was halfway convinced was more of a man than a boy, mostly when it came to observing how he casually sat up and removed his sweatpants with precision contrary to clumsiness. My eyes flickered down to his boxers. Still hard alright. There was a rush of excitement and shame all at once when I realised it. A bit too late to stop and pin this a mere heat-of-the-momet make-out session. It was the real deal. Happening. Live. In my room. On a late August evening. Goodness gracious.

It took me a second to process it and he might’ve sensed that I’d grown a bit rigid despite remaining just as active. He didn’t advance the happening, petting my hair and kissing me, and trailing lower, but only as low as he’d gone before, finding the rest a sort of forbidden land. Didn’t even take off the bra with the frills he mocked me for. What a gentleman. He was kissing the curve of my breast and I was wondering how in the fucking hell I’d deserved this.

“We don’t have to,” he warned at some point. “If you don’t want to. Saying no is allowed.” He kissed me and it was intoxicating, but also the last snapped nerve. I arched my back off the bed, elbows bending so my hands could reach for my bra clip. The shoulder straps went loose and Levi paused for a moment to process what the act meant.

“I won’t say it,” I muttered with determination, eyes locked with his. Pride was strong within me even now and, having the wordless consent, he gently took off the bra before paying some attention to newfound territory. It was like being examined in a lab. Again, my boobs weren’t perfect. It was genetics and fate, and whatever else. In being embarrassed about him staring at my chest, I was graced by the thought I hadn’t shaved anywhere. Double embarrassed. Wasn’t it only right that the first time would come with presentability? There go the Raven teachings.

And the word nipple is somewhat lame – I’ve heard it from native and non-native speakers of English both – but there is no other word. So when his tongue rolled around my nipple, I forgot I hadn’t shaved and drew such a sharp breath I almost choked. My chest was heaving and he was thumbing my other nipple. I thought we’d get straight to it and was mistaken. He knew better, it seemed, because a virgin needed the bare minimum of this much and more foreplay to truly relax. It hit me for a fraction that this was actual foreplay while I was staring at the ceiling between trying not to make any sounds. I was like a dead fish, just letting him do things to me. More responsive than a dead fish but awfully inexperienced in any case. It made me feel just a bit guilty. My one saving grace was the fact his erection kept brushing against my leg – and if that was there, then it meant he wasn’t dissatisfied.

It was a black spot for a while because I couldn’t pinpoint between the overwhelming build-up of nice but not nice enough where exactly Levi was kissing or sucking or nipping or touching. Now it would be my thigh, now leaving a hickey on my shoulder, now trailing kisses over my jaw and down my neck, now caressing my side, now trailing a finger down to my navel, now my boob, intermission, the other boob – and the whole time there was that thing in my abdomen, the same one I’d felt with Eren, the hot knot begging for attention.

This was a new person and I hadn’t thought it’d come with a new person, but it was there alongside a brand new dynamic which wasn’t hurried or harsh or overtly passionate like I’d been used to. The pace was decent and steady and passion here didn’t amount to bruises – or at least not explicitly so. The new person made it thrilling, overwhelming. The new person made it a brand new experience. And when the brand new person’s hand gently dipped to touch the part where my legs met, I shivered all over, heart and lady boner flinching at once. Levi, with his obstinacy, refused to ask permission vocally. I still nodded, spreading my legs a bit wider. Slowly, like my panties weren’t in the way, he kissed from my knee to the base of my inner thigh, nipped slightly and made me yelp, and muffled something like a chuckle against the plush of my leg.

I didn’t know what he was thinking. I knew his fingers pressing against the spot where wetness had accumulated made my mouth gape slightly. I craned my neck and closed my eyes. There was embarrassment holding hands with excitement, with pleasure breathing down their necks. Nothing quite mattered. I breathed out like I’d been holding my breath for fourteen minutes when the raven’s fingers gently dragged back and forth against my core and then he might’ve been impatient, because he tugged my underwear out of the way, down my legs, past the knees and the ankles, dropping it with the rest of our clothes and the empty Dorito bag on the floor. It was a whole mess, this thing. I wanted it.

“The house is empty, princess,” he said while leaning down to kiss below my navel.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” I asked, almost out of breath in spite of my lungs functioning perfectly. His fingers were ghosting on the side of where I wanted him to touch. His mouth dragged lower. There was the jab of shame about not being shaved again. It hadn’t sent him to his feet and out of the room, so it was probably fine. A man wasn’t afraid to fight the jungle, I’d heard a few times before.

“That you can make noise without being scared,” he responded casually. I snorted and decided inwardly that I wouldn’t be making any noise whatsoever, just to spite him. It did feel good, though, so I doubted I could actually hold back effectively. As though to challenge the unsaid decision, Levi cut the suspense short. When his tongue rested where only one other had before, I came close to whining. My hand shot down to paw at his hair and he hummed against my clit. The vibrations of it made me writhe slightly.

He licked and sucked – nipped twice, which made me yelp both times – and did all sorts of other magic. Added to the title of mind-reader would now be the rank of mage. Then, there was this point when I could feel his fingers prodding at my entrance – a gentle warning of what was to come. First it was one. My mouth gaped and there was a slight flash of something like pain. More like discomfort. Now this was brand new wherever I looked at it from. Remember, my vow had its doors but none had included penetration. Officially the furthest I’d gone with somebody. Goodbye, hymen. You served us well.

He waited. Waited almost a full minute and distracted me with his tongue before I rolled my hips to give him the green light. Slow pumps. It was still uncomfortable, but the friction wasn’t painful. Just uncomfortable and new and I didn’t like change, but when this one found with its finger one particular spot sold off as the Bermuda Triangle for men to find, I might’ve liked this particular change. First, it made me moan. Second, the more he kept reaching that spot – because it was impossible to miss I liked it – the closer I was to coming. There were sloppy sounds and a second finger inserting itself in me, and my voice bouncing off the walls before dropping to the floor in a hush.

I might’ve said his name, actually, I might’ve half-screamed it. The orgasm hit me like a brick dropping straight on my genitals and he kept flicking his tongue slower and slower until I’d ridden it out in full. How considerate. When his fingers came out, there was a spot of blood. My mouth clamped shut in shame. He reached over to clean them with a wet wipe – then he cleaned me, too, because obviously he could see things that were invisible to me. There was slick on his chin and I glared half-heartedly when his eyes twinkled in amusement at me.

“Well, that’s done,” I muttered while he leaned over with the intention to kiss me again. “Wipe your mouth, asshole.” I put a hand to his chest to prevent my own pussy juices from coming in contact with my face. For a clean-freak, he sure didn’t seem to be in a hurry to get them off.

“You don’t want to see how tasty it is?” He was mocking me. I was red and hot all over still, a bit like a deflated balloon being refilled with exasperation contrary to air. No longer a virgin, as far as doctors would care. Still kind of in the middle, considering typical hetero interactions included something more than fingers.

“God, no!” I tried to push at his jaw and he almost chuckled when the pussy juice got on my fingers and I flicked my wrist frantically to get it off.

“It was god, yes a second ago,” he drawled pointedly. I burned bright red under his gaze, naked and not a hymen-bearer and kind of lost as to what came next. I pouted, swatted his shoulder and pretended to be very disgusted when he kissed me, making it open-mouted and sloppy for the sake of spiting me. In truth, it didn’t taste like much. Tasted weird, unlike food and drink. Well, that’s bodily fluids for you.

Remember the right-est choice I made as of late? Here it comes. The kiss guided his fingers down to my clit again and mine – to the band of his boxers. A tug and a snap, and he asked me three whole fucking times if I was sure. Not verbally, of course. It was just the particular way he stopped between each step to make sure, to look at me straight in the eye and have me nod my consent back to him. Like I’d change my mind that fast. God’s sake – if I would’ve said no, I would’ve said it before we’d kissed. But this wasn’t something he would do under normal circumstances – not a matter of alcohol, guilt or duty. It was free will and choice. Mine might’ve been made sometime last month, right around my birthday.

The boxers were gone. I blinked at it. A penis in textbooks, a dick in colloquial speech, a cock in smut books, a member in tame erotica. Length, girth, meat sword, love machine – could go on forever. We sat staring at it like it was an alien and while I was bashful, I was also bad with measurements without the aid of a ruler, hence why I safely concluded that I could stack about four donuts on it and put the zipper on it. There was that thing – precum, was it? – leaking from the tip. In all honesty, no I didn’t want to lick it off. Same went for sperm. In the history of mankind, I’d done the gracious thing and sucked off my boyfriend exactly once – the rest had been handjobs because blowjobs came with terrible pains in the jaw, a cramping of the tongue, a crap salty taste and the awkward detail of looking like an unattractive fish during the act. So, no, I didn’t volunteer to show off how bad I was at it.

“Condoms, shit.” It flew out of my mouth unintentionally. Levi’s face scrunched up. We were both visited by the bitter realisation that going further was not an option anymore, unless he wanted to don on a sock. Then the solution came to me. “Keep it up, I’ll be back in a minute,” I mumbled hurriedly, jumping off the bed and rushing butt-naked out of the room so I could go to my parents’ bedroom. Yeah, no, such was the reality of things. I tried to keep my conscience untainted while rummaging through the wardrobe. The hidden box of condoms in the back by the shoes was the saving grace. I wouldn’t speak of this to a living soul that wasn’t Annie Leonheardt ever.

The moment I returned to the room with the box held proudly over my head, Levi snorted. He laid me on the bed again and the mood returned, which was weird because I’d pinned him the type of experience one moment of interruption and consider it all ruined. Not that I’d thought about him during sex or having sex. I hadn’t. I promise. I was thinking it now, when I was about to have it with him. The kisses eased the natural awkwardness and by the time he was putting it in, I was a desperate mess again. Sweat stuck to skin and my breath got stuck in my throat when he pushed it in. I blanked, gaped like I’d received a headshot and felt him stand still to let me adjust. There was, again, mild discomfort. Fingers couldn’t compare to a dick.

I gave it half a minute and told him to move. The first thrust had me whining into his mouth. It was good. It was good, progressively becoming better and better and better, a surprise arriving with each snap of his hips. My father’s intern having sex with me, my father’s intern, my father’s intern, my intern, my Levi. The first five minutes were full of careful slow strokes to let the awkwardness dissipate and for me to get used to it. I won’t call myself anything but I’ll say I got used to it a bit too fast for comfort. So it went. Losing my virginity to my father’s intern.

“Faster, can you--- a bit faster?” The words were choked out and you’d wonder why I would ask for faster when slow was doing a good job of making my chest heave like I was running a marathon, but it was maddening and addictive.

“I can for you, princess.” It was a rasp against the side of my neck and I was blanking because the voice, paired with the hands, with the scent, with the sensation of being full and empty, then full and empty again was so mind-numbing I could melt on the spot and stay there forever. So slow and careful turned into fast and considerate. There was no harshness in him even when he kneaded my boobs or licked stripes down the length of my throat, no harshness whatsoever when he gripped my thighs or my sides. It was tight, but pleasant, egging me on further.

I bit down on the pillow when he found the spot. I bit his finger, too. I bit his shoulder and I bit my own hand to keep my voice down because how was something on this Earth allowed to be so nice? Fuck. He murmured at me to moan if I felt like it. There was a smug undertone. And when he reached between us to roll circles around my clit, I didn’t moan – I was a banshee impersonator, neck craning, back arching, toes curling, all that jazz. I came with a crash and a bang, and it might’ve been an hour by now, or maybe more, but the neighbourhood was asleep and I was wide awake, trying to wake them up, too.

A five-minute break of kisses served as an intermission to avoid me becoming overstimulated but Levi was still hard and still quite energetic in spite of the fact he’d been fucking me for an overall of thirty minutes without stopping or having his pace hitch. Round two started fast and I had my legs up, knees on the sides of my head. It was hot, seeing him through that kind of frame. Just one bead of sweat on his temple – not sticky all over, unlike me. Why was I the one becoming exhausted anyway? I was being a pillow princess. His eyes were gorgeous and his lips were slightly swollen.

“Please, don’t stop,” I whined at some point. He didn’t seem to have any prospects of stopping anyway, but I couldn’t help it. He huffed, chest heaving with lust and I knew it wasn’t easy to be the one doing all the work, so I mentally gave credit where credit was due. “Oh--- Levi, God!” He seemed like he wanted to laugh and my ring glimmered in the dark against his cheek while I tried to pull him down for a kiss which was simply impossible in our current position. He switched it five minutes later. It was not an understatement to claim I was seeing stars and everything was nice and nothing was awkward and this was the most handsome man with the most stamina on this land.

I lost my voice at some point, or I thought I did because my third orgasm couldn’t make me bite down on the pillow fast enough to muffle the literal holler that left my lungs. His name, by the way. If that hadn’t woken the neighbours, I wasn’t sure anything would. I was recuperating and he was trailing gentle pecks along my neck, still not finished. Was sex always this physically draining? My mind might’ve blanked during the third round and we were in missionary again because I insisted that I be able to kiss him any time I wished to. His hand was holding my wrist captive and the other was massaging my breast and it was all a giant whirlpool of pleasure and heat and fluids – the nasty and the nice in one, but I couldn’t care less about the nasty.

He came with a growl, biting down on my shoulder to muffle something that sounded like my name as his pace hitched and turned sloppy for the first time in what felt like hours. He slumped down on top of me and I was breathing more heavily than him, calmed by the weight. I was blinking at the ceiling and my heart was doing somersaults in my ribcage. He went to shower after a minute of rest, I called him out for being a clean freak and it just so happened that my perception of time wasn’t all too warped because checking my phone made me realise we’d had sex for about three hours, foreplay included. I slipped into the shirt he’d tossed on the floor, wiped myself and very considerately ignored the soreness in my hips while changing the sheets.

To my biggest surprise, he returned to my room in a new pair of boxers with his hair wet. There was no invitation. He joined me on the clean bed and wrapped his arms around me. This might’ve been aftercare. When our gazes locked, I didn’t dare avert my eyes in bashfulness. It was surreal and I wanted to memorise it. Then he asked me again – as voicelessly as the first time and the following ten – and I answered positively by flashing him the biggest smile I could muster. No words were exchanged. Levi rolled his eyes and I tucked myself under his chin, legs tangling with his. I was knocked out cold. I wouldn’t hasten to write this off as a happy ending but I wouldn’t immediately turn it angsty either. I explored. It was nice. I don’t think I regretted it for a second.

Waking up was a surreal experience because it included the added luxury of being bathed in sunlight with a warm arm draped around my midriff and a pale sunlit face inches from mine. A spot of purple in the crook of his neck and a few red crescents on his shoulder. Perhaps one or two leftover scratches on his back. I blinked at the sight incredulously, gradually coming to and realising what this position meant – prompted by last night’s three different ones, too.

It happened! Asshole-me hollered in my head, nearly hysteric, slamming a pan into a bell and making the echo of the toll ring painfully against the confines of my skull. You ruined it all! It was like an automatic switch – suddenly, the neutral was the bad and I had complicated it with my impulsiveness, my stupid hormones. I imagined four months of awkwardness and the wish to have more but being completely incapable of asking for fear it would mean feelings. I pictured a tense atmosphere, uncomfortable interactions, embarrassing thoughts, lame excuses. A friendship built with struggle and just barely reinforced annihilated to smithereens by my dumb ass.

I cringed, removing my hand from Levi’s chest to slap myself across the face for being horrible again – not in using him but in indulging my own selfishness. His eyelids fluttered open before the admonishment transpired and I was staring straight into the melted silver which had the tendency to read my thoughts. The current self-reprimanding cacophony would entertain him.

“… should make you coffee,” he mumbled half-coherently, making me blink wondrously at his hazy composure. This is normal, his eyes whispered, lips pressing nonchalantly to my forehead before he got up, so there’s no need to be so shocked. The trip down the stairs was silent. I had left scratches. More than two.

Currently, we were in the kitchen, sitting around the counter with our mandatory morning drinks. Unsaid words hung from the ceiling like dangling cobwebs. Levi, who’d needed a moment to retrieve his memories in full, was stiff and uncertain, and in spite of that visibly calmer than me. I could feel my face heating up as I thought of what to say. This wasn’t normal, even if both of us upon our respective awakening had pinned it such. It was something we had to discuss but how were we supposed to discuss sex when we sometimes fought over food? Deciding what to do seemed impossible.

“Are we going to talk about the elephant in the room?” The raven, of course, was the one who broke the silence while I was slurping on my coffee, gaze averted and heart beating erratically. “Princess, I’m afraid this is something important,” he said in the face of my silence. His piercing glare was on my temple but I wouldn’t turn, keeping my fingers glued to my cup and my mind grounded in panic. “Need I remind you exactly what happened?” Levi pressed additionally, husky voice raising in audible urgency. I felt completely and utterly naked – dressed in only his shirt and my own underwear.

“We had sex, that’s what happened.” I shrugged, mind preoccupied with the strange feeling eating its way into it. Deep into my stomach, up to my lungs, through the chambers of the heart, in the windpipe – but not painfully. “There’s nothing more to it.” The nonchalant statement didn’t get a warm welcome. That much was to be expected. The attractive intern was frowning, rubbing his temples with a frustrated sigh. I tried not to look at his fingers.

And I’m trying to do just that, asshole-me scoffed pointedly. There’s something different about them when they’ve been inside you last night, yeah? A good type of different. Imagine it. My shoulders tensed as I chased her around in my head with a frying pan. Levi ran a hand through his ebony locks. Wow, is that the sex hair? And I pursed my lips in displeasure, knowing the struggles of the current moment and choosing in spite of them to secretly a wish for a second time. No harm, you know, no harm whatsoever in wanting to fuck your father’s goddamn intern, yeah? No? Can you hear it? Does it sound like a good sentence? Does it?

“Where exactly does your lacking virginity fit into your nothing more to it?” His retort made me cringe, well aware of the virginity ace hidden up his imaginary sleeve. It was a bit harder to argue with him when he was half-naked, letting me see the spots I’d bitten and kissed. The situation: we’d had sex. My side: I had nothing against him being my first because I trusted him and he’d been experienced and careful enough to make it nice. The actual problem: he was my father’s intern.

The abstract part: intimacy often came with, well… intimacy. Casual sex had the advantage of not seeing your partner again afterwards and in our case, we’d had casual sex with somebody we saw daily. Future speculation: tension due to this adventure would brew either discord or twice the ferocity in repeating the adventure. A possible solution: talking about feelings. Additional issue: Levi and I talking about feelings? Not in this day and age. Not in this life either. Telling him he made me feel warm and appreciated? Impossible. Honesty in the face of something embarrassing? Sorry, I don’t know her. She must be really lame.

“Everywhere, because I don’t care for it. It might add complexity to your situation, but it doesn’t play a big role in mine.” Dismissing the whole of it and pinning it on him was wrong. My nonchalance was false. Maybe it was what made him take a deep breath prior to speaking up again, his tea untouched.

“You’re supposed to be freaking out, princess.” His eyes were on mine and asshole-me was screaming: Come on, do it! Just kiss him and make things worse! Go right ahead! I averted my gaze with a snort. He’d used my nickname last night. Added a shade of meaning to it. I tried to get a grip as my rational side reasoned with the situation. This had been a one-time thing – or at least for him. Following that train of thought, wanting more was useless.

“You think I’m not?” It was high-pitched and ludicrous. Memories were surfacing and it was somewhat unpleasant to think they wouldn’t repeat. Levi kissing me in the dark, almost saying my name, clearing the hair from my sweaty forehead, biting my neck as he came, smiling against my lips as I tugged on his hair and tried not to moan, holding me close afterwards, not once saying the wrong thing. “I’m freaking out. You just don’t see it.” My downcast gaze was thoughtful and the air was becoming heavier with something I couldn’t identify. I could feel him staring and it bugged me not to know what he was thinking. “What?” I snapped, refraining from playing with my ring.

“What do you want to do now?” He asked flatly, eyes pinning me in place. “Do you want me to pretend this didn’t happen or do you want us to keep going?” It was ridiculous hearing him say it because, usually, he wouldn’t. I blinked, thinking I’d misheard.

“Keep going as in keep having sex?” I echoed to make sure I’d understood. It might’ve gone out a bit more shocked than expected, which made him sigh.

“I was listing options. In the end, it all comes down to what you want.” The flat voice made me realise I knew what I wanted well enough to have chosen during the conversation with Hanji three days ago or maybe even before I’d had the courage to admit it to myself.

“I don’t know what I want,” I lied with a pointed look, vehement embarrassment clawing up my throat and scratching at the back of it. I could say I wanted to keep going – his offer meant he might be willing – but his response was a fifty-fifty on whether he was sexually frustrated or would rather stick to decorum while living in the same house as the girl he was fucking and her father. I couldn’t turn the question on him because it was mean. I couldn’t call it a mistake because that would be another lie. I was tired of lying when it didn’t go to protect my pride.

“You don’t?” He quirked a thin brow mockingly, feigning the surprise he didn’t feel. “Or you just don’t want to admit your favour the more embarrassing option?” I sat motionless, knowing this wasn’t what I should’ve been doing – considering it. Maybe this was a test he had for me – to see if I’d be dumb or act like a reasonable adult. But (there came that stupid word again) if Hanji had been right, this wasn’t a random hook-up, which meant there might be something and---

Are you seriously considering a relationship with somebody who’s leaving in less than four months? Asshole-me interjected, making me sigh in defeat. Doesn’t fuck randomly, okay, fine, but this is an exception. How in the fucking hell would he grow to like you? You know that’s impossible. Methinks he went along with it because you clearly wanted it. Think about it, he does all sorts of bullshit for you. So what sounds more plausible? Him being himself or him liking you? The former, of course, but I couldn’t admit it. Like I couldn’t admit he was right to say I favoured the more embarrassing option.

“Even if it was like that,” I chose to return the favour and be doubtful, “I’m not inclined to think your morals would let you humour me.” My chin was tipped upwards while Levi shook his head and finally took a sip from his tea. The ghost of a smirk in the corner of his mouth disarmed.

“I have little to nothing against it. But,” (that fucking word again) the firmness of his voice was the only thing keeping my chest from swelling, “it doesn’t sound like an ideal course of action when you’ve almost got yourself a new boyfriend,” he reasoned calmly, somber responsibility lacing his tone.

“It’s not cheating if we’re not official,” I protested instantly, furrowed brows and a pout. He snorted.

“That’s not what I meant, princess.” My lips pursed at the jolt the nickname gave me. “I don’t want sex clouding your judgement. I get Rivers isn’t your boyfriend, but you shouldn’t exclude him as a possibility just because you’ve started thinking you have feelings for me.”

“Besides being a poet, you’ve turned into a psychologist, too,” I exclaimed with a genuinely cheerful chuckle that made him quirk a brow. Something in my throat shrivelled up. “Don’t dwell on my feelings too much, asshole,” I reassured. “I like this because it’s something new, not because I’m head over heels in love with you.” I was still chuckling as he sipped on his tea and fixed me with one of those firm looks that had the ability to bend the knees. The effect was doubled in intensity this morning.

“Make your choice then,” he said boredly, not wishing to be too imperious, seeing as the situation wasn’t taking place in a formal setting where he was the boss and I was the indecisive underling. I might as well have been, with how hot my ears got while I held his gaze, brave and stupid in the face of somebody who read me better than I sometimes read myself.

“I’m not saying it out loud,” I muttered, bashful. The ebony-haired intern watched me struggle before tilting his head to the side with a fake air of oblivion.

“Then I won’t know what you want,” he said innocently, attempting to mock my shyness and what was more – succeeding. I burned bright red, feeling heat creep up my neck and my glare was pointed and uncontrolled. It couldn’t pass as mere annoyance because Levi was hitting a nerve.

“I didn’t see you having a hard time knowing everything I wanted last night, but okay.” There was more spite than sass in the sentence, which only further conveyed my inability to stay nonchalant – something that clearly amused him. “I want us to… keep going. Satisfied?” Crossed arms, downcast gaze and a childish pout. I was the live embodiment of the word petulance and Levi wasn’t done having fun with it.

“Not as satisfied as I clearly left you.” He was smirking and I glared at him, furious and not knowing where the blood would go when there was no space left in my head. I hopped off my chair, turning my back to him and hearing how he moved to stand behind me. A well-meaning hand landed on my shoulder. “It was a joke, princess, there’s no need for the cold shoulder.” His tone was flat and disinterested, but there was a pacifying sliver. He might’ve been trying to make peace but I wouldn’t have it after all the embarrassment he put me through – just to have a good private laugh, too!

“Un-fucking-bearable, that’s what you are,” I hissed, brushing his hand off my shoulder and heading to the staircase in order to escape. He gave chase and set on ignoring the usual code that forbade touchy-touchy when unneeded. The pure and unfiltered imagination one must have in order to picture a shirtless Greek God chasing after a poorly dressed eighteen-year-old spoiled brat was too ambitious a requirement for anybody to fulfil. Turn to mythology for that, but it’s inappropriate there and this one meant well.

“I’ll stop embarrassing you if that’s what you want.” His hands were on my shoulders. He turned me around and I didn’t look at him, much less respond. He could sense I was ashamed. His hands slowly trailed down over my arms to hold my wrists in a grip I could, with effort, free myself from. “Does the mere mention of sex with no context whatsoever embarrass you, princess?” He knew it did, leaning forward with twinkling eyes and a complacent half-smile. “Your face is red.”

“And you’re a fucking genius, congratulations,” I spat with sarcastic disgruntlement. He pulled me forward so that I bumped into his chest. My shoulders jumped in surprise. I didn’t want to look him in the eye but the sight of the marks I’d left on him were no less embarrassing to behold. My heart sped up and I was pouting, flush against him with nowhere to go.

“It speaks,” he whispered by my ear. His hands retraced their steps over my arms and shoulders, gently gliding against the sides of my neck until they held my face. “Does it want to go up to my room?” Blue specks in a pool of melted silver. The question was genuine, in spite of being masked with slight mockery. The adult of us two. I tried to stay mad, but it was impossible. I promised the blue specks I’d count them later and then we were kissing. It was a funny picture – the whole of this situation – ridiculous but somehow not fictional. It was him lifting me off the floor and me wrapping my legs around him. It was him making step after step, steady and careful not to drop me while I snickered into his mouth. It was me being a literal koala and then it was us, hearing the jingle of keys.

“Shit,” I cursed, parting from him with a smack. He let go and I could catch only a glimpse of the panic on his face before I was running up the stairs. I’d barely closed the door behind us when I heard my mother greeting the empty kitchen downstairs. While I breathed out in relief, Levi was already heading to the balcony. It occurred to me that there was a pack of condoms on my nightstand and they were stolen. I’d need to make a trip to the pharmacy and replace the box. Talk about inconvenient. “Careful now,” I piped while the intern was preparing to make the jump, “we don’t want you to fall.” He gave me a half-hearted glare but said nothing.

When he was gone, I plopped down on my bed and grinned incredulously at the ceiling. This “secret sex” thing we were about to dive into wasn’t how I’d imagined the weeks prior to my first year in university, but oh, well. Expect the unexpected and if unable to – just accept it. This officially marked the beginning of my longest stay in City of Dumbassery. It was surprising, however, that I wasn’t alone in there. Twice as surprising that I’d be stuck with my father’s intern. Whom I was having sex with. Amazing. Spectacular. Asshole-me would have my ass for that.

tag list: @unloved-cadillac ; @donaldthrts

#mtij #levi x reader #levi ackerman fanfiction #x reader #levi ackerman imagine #reader insert #levi ackerman x reader #it finally happened #all i'm going to say: i wrote the actual sex scene while editing the rest of the chapter because i was too bashful in the past lol #sure hope it's not worse than the vague three paragraphs of the past #levi is a literal king who preaches consent and safe sex and nobody will change my opinion #also our drama queen is entering a brand new arc of her life #beware: storm incoming

[hippiemisfit]

Hush (J.K.) 17

Chapter 17- HUH?

pairings: jungkook x oc reader

word count: 2,776

warnings: manipulation, jealousy, implied smut, hints at a bigger picture

------------------------------------

I heard the door slam finally and by that time I had already found something to watch. I decided to turn on Rakuten Viki and finish watching Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok-joo. Don't know if you've watched it but it's wholeheartedly underrated. It was already five minutes in when Jungkook made it back up the stairs. He closed the door and came to plop down right

I immediately apologized, "I am so sorry about him, he's never usually like that or at least that's what I've always thought. He was a dick to you and you didn't deserve that."

Jungkook nodded his head and shrugged. He pulled out his phone and started typing, 'not your fault hes a prick'

I sighed, "Yea but I still let him come around and I still slightly have a thing for him even though he's a complete asshole. Guess you never really know someone until you find out the hard way."

"Is that the type that you're into because if it is you need better tastes?" I heard a voice from beside me say.

I turned my head so quick to look at Jungkook and was met with his smiling face.

"Ummmmmmmmmm, did you just talk?" I asked scooting away from him a little bit.

The grin never left his face even when he said, "Yep."

I shot up off the couch and towards the door, but was pulled back before I could make it. He held my thrashing body down and squeezed my arms really hard to stop me from squirming.

"Where you running off to? Don't you want to finish hanging out, I mean after all you did invite a dick into your house, who's lucky he isn't dead yet by the way. But since it seems like you are still emotionally involved, guess I got to make you kill him too just like you did his father. Maybe that'll fix your taste in men," he whispered in my ear.

I gasped," Hoodie?"

He finally released some of his hold on me; enough for me to be able to turn around, and look at Jungkook who was looking at me with green eyes instead of his usual brown.

"What are you doing here? And what have you done with Jungkook?" I asked.

He laughed," I missed you baby, duh."

I glared," As much as I don't believe that you missed me, you can't just appear when you want to if you did. Answer my second question, what have you done with Jungkook."

He rolled his eyes like it was an obvious response, "You're mine remember, I can come and see you whenever I want to. And your little lover boy is fine; he's just sleeping right now in his mind and I decided to borrow his body for a little bit. I thought you liked him baby, didn't you say 'because that man is fine emphasis on the I' earlier?"

I glared once again, "First and foremost, how the fuck do you know that? How long have you even been here? How long are you going to be here because I'm already tired of you and can you let me go?"

He chuckled," Slow down love, I can only answer one question at a time. To answer your first question, I can read minds babe duh. Second question, I've been here since you got here and ran into that bitch across the street who came over to fuck with you. To answer your third and forth question I don't know yet, kind of like his body. You should see what's underneath these clothes, dude's packing."

He said with a smirk on his face causing me to look down at his crotch area. I tilted my head and raised my eyebrows.

Hmmm.

I looked back up and he was glaring at me, "Wait, what am I thinking? Keep your eyes, hands, and mouth off and away from him. Unless you know, I'm here." he said, finally letting me go.

I rolled my eyes, "What I do to him or with him is my business, so how about you go away so that I can cuddle with him."

He scoffed, " And you don't want to cuddle with me? My feelings are hurt, sincerely," he placed a hand over Jungkook's chest.

"No, I don't want to cuddle with you." I said.

"Why not? I can keep you comfortable. I can raise your body heat too if you want," he said with a wink.

I rolled my eyes and got up from the couch and headed to the mini bar to grab a Sprite Zero.

Wish I had some liquor instead with all this bullshit that keeps coming my way today. With the day I've been having I definitely need a drink. Might go raid the liquor cabinet downstairs just to get some sleep tonight.

"Well, I can get you some if you really want some. How about some tequila shots or Jell-O shots? And if you want to be put to sleep so badly, I can easily help you do that." I heard from the ass on the couch.

"One, stop reading my mind. Two, why are you still here and Jungkook is still gone? Thought I asked nicely a second ago for you to go away," I asked returning to the couch unconsciously bringing him a drink too.

"Wow someone has balls today," he said chuckling, taking the drink from me. "He's fine, I promise. I know how to behave. Like I said, I missed you," he said his voice going soft towards the end of his sentence.

Huh? He genuinely missed me?

He started chuckling again, "What? Is it weird for you to hear that I miss your company?"

I nodded my head," Yeah, it kind of is. What did you miss? Me killing people for your entertainment? Cause I don't miss those horrifying experiences and I didn't miss you."

He shook his head and sighed, "I know a little part of you missed me to even though you won't admit it. I can feel a piece of your soul calling out to me when I'm gone from you. Like I told you before, I've never seen a soul so pure in my entire existence as Death so I'm drawn to you like a tether. My body has never been able to reject a soul before and then you came along. From that moment, I just knew that we're meant to be. Whether you like it or not it's the truth. So I suggest you come to terms with it, because it's not going to change any time soon."

"Well, it should change ok. I'm pretty sure I'm not the only pure soul that you could've encountered before, no way. Or just one that you've taken an interest in and after all the things that you have made me do in the short time that I've known you, there's no way my soul is still as pure as you describe it."

He nodded his head in agreement," I thought that those acts would've done something to your soul, add a little bit of darkness to it, but it didn't. You have the purest one that I've ever seen, no one else's have ever caught my eye. Believe me, you're an anomaly."

I waved my hand, "Doesn't matter, I'm sick and tired of being around you. Of feeling scared of what's up next. Whatever 'mission' you'll have in store for me. I'm tired of the blood and gore that comes along with just being in your presence," I said.

He sighed, "Listen, I don't want the only time that I get to see you, you're cowering with fear or you're irritated as hell. I mean a little irritation I can deal with, but I can just feel the energy radiating off of you. That's why I'm here right now, and I couldn't just keep pretending to be Jungkook. Honestly, because I was tired of typing.  I don't know how he does it. But mostly the feelings that I want you to have towards me, you have towards him and it makes me jealous. I could only pretend to be him for so long until I got fed up. I've waited for you for a long time, longer than you could ever imagine.

Those missions, if you want to call them that, were to get you ready for what's to come. I mean, after a while you'll just go numb to it. I've gotten so numb to my life that having you around is a breath of fresh air. A light in the dark tunnel that is my life. It's not just your soul that intrigues me, it's you as well.

Also, it's not always as gory as what I had you do. Was I fucking with you a little bit? Yea. But those men were monsters and you, we, got rid of them so no one else would have to fall victims to them. They got a punishment fit for their crimes. My intention initially wasn't to scare you, I just wanted you aware. I can't promise that it won't always be this way, this dynamic, but it's just this way for right now because you have to be prepared."

"Prepared for what? Is there some war at play here? Some battle?" I asked.

He chuckled, "There's always a war brewing baby, it's just a matter of which side is winning at the moment," he brushed his hand against my cheek and it took everything in me not to lay my head in it.

Like as if his touch warmed a part of my heart,"But the main battle is getting you prepared for this life with me. If I had just thrown you into this life, like I wanted to, then you would've really resented me. I was more of an ass when we met and I know that this is kind of a 360 of character but this is me, behind all the glitz and glamour. I'm still going to be an asshole, I'm still going to do fucked up shit but there's a motive behind everything that I do."

Pump the brakes real quick. Did this man really just  apologize to me? And am I really contemplating giving him, Hoodie, a chance right now? I've never felt the sensation of longing while he's been away doing Hoodie things, because he hasn't been gone for too long since he appeared in my life. Shit, it hasn't even been a month since we met but a lot of stuff has happened in this short period of time, that I feel like it's been an eternity. But his words feel sincere to me, what should I do?

I cleared my throat and removed his hand," Well, I wouldn't be against working things through. Maybe we got off on the wrong foot but I need time to fully think this over. Wouldn't be right if I just did a complete 360 of character too, you know."

He nodded, " I can totally understand that but I need you to promise me one thing."

"Mhm." I replied.

"When I come for you next time, don't forget to run. I like the chase," he finished off with a wink. His eyes then went from his green and back into Jungkook's brown.

Well fuck me.

He blinked and opened his mouth in the form of a yawn, stretching his arms. He pulled out his phone and typed

: how long was i out?

"Not that long maybe about an hour or two. Do you even remember coming into my house?" I asked.

He shook his head no.

:no the last thing i remember was us pulling up in your driveway and getting out. nothing else it all went dark sorry ik i wasnt much company

I shook my head, "No you were fine, I was just watching my show. You looked peaceful in your sleep so I just left you be, but it's not even five yet so we can still hang out if you want. Unless you have to go home.

:no i can hang out for a lil longer. got plans after 9 tonight so it should be fine

"Ok," I said and finally pressed play on the tv.

................................................................

By the time Jungkook left it was around 8:30pm, we watched a couple of episodes of the kdrama and I made us a snack before he left. When he kissed me goodbye, yes on the lips, I could've swore I saw a fleck of green flash in them when he backed away.

Maybe it's my mind playing tricks right now or Hoodie is fucking with me again. But at this point I don't care.

I let Poco out of his cage and let him do his business as I went and filled his food bowl. After he ate, I ran him a bath in the downstairs bathroom. Of course it was a struggle getting him to the tub because he never wants to wash his ass, but I'm not going for it tonight. As I was washing him I started to tell him about my day. You know, because he can totally respond to me.

"You know today has been somewhat of a shit show. At first it was cool. Me and Jungkook  did an early senior ditch day and went to the diner where Jimin works," his ears perked up when he heard his name," yea I know my other man, but he acted really strange towards Jungkook and I never figured out why. Then they went outside and talked with a bunch of other guys that I don't know but they were attractive too. Then we awkwardly ate lunch there which, Jungkook paid for like a gentleman by the way, and then I drove us home.

We were met with the neighbor across the street, which you know about since you wanted to bite his head off thank you very much, and that interaction didn't go to well. He was an asshole to Jungkook for no reason and it was really uncomfortable. By the time he left and Jungkook came back upstairs I was exhausted, just to be met with Hoodie in Jungkook's body and that was fun. I don't know what it is but what he was telling me about how he feels about me made me feel some type of way. I don't know how to explain it but I guess felt something along the lines of love. Not saying that I'm in love with him or anything because I am most definitely not but my heart did beat a little faster as he kept talking. He seems to really want me to give him a chance and it doesn't sound like that bad of an idea.

And if what he says is true, you know about the whole we're meant to be thing, then I don't really have all that much of a choice anyway? Not like he's going anywhere any time soon anyway, so why not. Butttt what about Jungkook? I mean, I feel something happening there too and I've known them for the same amount of time. And why not live a little while I can before I have to settle down. I don't know what to do. Should I stay on the good side a little longer or just divert into the darkness? What do you think Poco?" I finished.

He just looked at me, panting, and then tilted his head to the side in what I'll take as confusion.

Well thanks for nothing.

"Thanks for listening to my TED talk speech Poco, even though you can't help." I said smushing his face in my hands while laughing. I rinsed Poco off and had him hop out of the tub so I could dry him off. Just as I was about to he booked it out the door. I let out a sigh. I heard him start barking as I unplugged the drain.

"Poco, chill out dude. What's up?" I said as I walked out and found him in front of the front door.

"It's just someone at the door, calm down." I looked out the peephole and saw no one there.

Huh? So what the hell is he barking at? Should I do the black person thing and just walk away or let my inner white girl curiosity open the door?

As I contemplated my inner battle, Poco started barking and growling even louder.

Fuck it.

I swung the door open and was met with a familiar face.

"Um how did you find out where I live?" I asked feeling dread coming over me for the first time in his presence.

#bts smut #jungkook smut #jeongguk smut #jungkook x black reader #jungkook x plus size reader #bts x black reader #bts x plus size reader #bts x black girl #jungkook x reader #bangtan smut

[bearvanhelsing]

“Happy Valentine’s Day, Tyrel and Camellia!

“I hope this letter finds you. Actually finds you. You two have been impossible to track down, so I asked Nenio to enchant it to find its way to you. She was insistent she could do it but… you know Nenio. I hope all is well with you two! I know Camellia and I never got along terribly well but after everything we and you two went through, I sincerely wish the best for the both of you. I hope this Valentine’s Day you two are at least together and have each other. I wish you a delicious meal and a warm hearth, wherever you are.

Anyway I do really hope this reaches you so these chocolates and flowers don’t go to waste! I also sent along a few things we recovered from the Gwerm estate - things I hope Camellia would appreciate. We’ve cleaned out the ruins of the fire and started to turn it into something better than the place of pain and misery it was. Those flowers she hated so much are gone, too.

Cam, if you read this, please take care of yourself!  If you ever need help or just… want to meet up to talk, you can always reach me with Sending. I won’t tell anyone else (Regill won’t know). 

-Love, Minovae”

"Happy (very belated) Valentine's Day Minovae and Regill! "I'm sure you'll be happy to learn that your letter did in fact find us! In a moving carriage in the middle of nowhere, no less! It gave us (mostly me) quite a scare. My compliments to Nenio... First and foremost, I'd like to extend our apologies regarding how long it took for us to get back to you. Given our living situation at the time, we lacked paper, ink and pretty much everything else needed to send a letter. The good news is that since then, we've managed to save enough money (No, you probably don't want to know where the money came from so don't ask!) to get a comfy little place in Absalom, so sending letters should be much more of a straightforward process from now on. Please don't let Nenio send the next one... She probably wouldn't want me writing this, but Camellia loved the chocolates. Needless to say, she ate most of them, but I managed to sneak a few and I must say... excellent choice! In my humble opinion, the flowers really livened up the carriage while they lasted too. She seemed rather indifferent regarding the news about Gwerm manner, she never did like talking about it much but she's starting to open up about it a bit more now. Between you and me I think a part of her appreciated that, even if she wouldn't say it aloud. So, from me at the very least, thank you. I hope you and Regill are doing as well as we are! I doubt I'd be able to see it again without him taking a swing at me with that hammer of his but the look on his face when he was with you was priceless! I doubt he'd take it kindly but wish him well for me, I miss the old man. Either way, I hope you both enjoy this Andoran wine, (and no, before you ask it was not stolen or looted from the recently deceased, I BOUGHT this) may it be a peace offering from us to you! If you ever find yourself in Absalom, feel free to look us up! Camellia is... slow to make new friends and I think having a girlfriend to talk to could be good for her (Obviously for my sake do NOT tell her I said that, pretty please). P.S. in case it wasn't obvious considering this letter is attached to their statuette, I was the one who stole Bismuth. We needed something to pull the carriage and Seelah certainly wasn't going to lend us her horse. I'd say I was sorry, but I'd be lying if I said I wouldn't do it again and you got it back so no harm, no foul!

-Love Ty"

[translations-dark-matter]

Living as an Extra in an Omegaverse novel

Chapter 103

"Do you have any guesses about what contents Ha Jin-seong handed over to the secretary on the USB?"

Although Ha Min-hyuk didn't know what was on the USB, he suspected that it was related to SR.

In response to Ha Min-hyuk's question, Shin Tae-oh nodded hesitantly.

"Se-hyeon brought something with him."

That's why they arranged the business trip to Ulsan. Somehow, after Ha Jin-seong threw the bait, everything became too quiet.

"A picture starts to form."

The corruption issues have already been dealt with internally. Those people are quietly being investigated by the prosecutors, so even if an article comes out, they can claim that the legal process is already underway and suppress it. However, Ha Jin-seong had a legitimate reason to act.

It seemed like he wanted to make it clear that they couldn't maintain the consortium with the image damage and loss of trust. Shin Tae-oh seemed amused by the situation.

"Are you willing to risk Ha Jin-woong?"

Ha Min-hyuk asked, showing no signs of hesitation.

"I'm considering whether to let go of Ha Jin-seong's hand or stick to him like glue."

Letting go of his hand meant turning their backs on each other.

The deteriorating partnership was not Ha Min-hyuk's desire. But there was nothing he could do.

Shin Tae-oh stared intently at Ha Min-hyuk's face as he made his determination. It seemed like he was trying to ascertain the truth.

"It's not a debt, it's a favor."

Shin Tae-oh replied, reading Ha Min-hyuk's sincere apologies. Only then did Ha Min-hyuk's face lighten up.

After he left, Shin Tae-oh was left alone and ordered another cup of coffee. He savored each sip of the warm, rising steam.

"The atmosphere is not great."

He should be drinking the coffee while listening to the sound of rain in the car, with the aroma of coffee wafting gently.

If what Ha Min-hyuk said was true, they didn't know when the article would come out, but Shin Tae-oh remained calm. He crossed his legs and looked out the window before picking up his phone to call Se-hyeon.

"Have you been waiting for my call?"

Shin Tae-oh chuckled at the voice that came even before the dial tone.

"I didn't call to play a prank. My biggest desire is to hear your voice, and then... Ha Jin-seong."

Listening to Se-hyeon's breathing, Shin Tae-oh leisurely got up from his seat.

"Should I handle it? Or..."

Se-hyeon?

***

Se-hyeon let out a long sigh as he read the article about the corruption scandal at SR Construction. Even if he had seen the news before Shin Tae-oh's call, he could have guessed who was behind it.

As Se-hyeon came across the content of the data he had left behind as an article, he felt troubled. The corruption case in Ulsan would be quickly exposed since they had prepared for it in advance, but the consortium had become as vulnerable as a lamp in the wind.

First and foremost, those who committed the corruption were the ones at fault. Then, Se-hyeon blamed himself for underestimating Ha Jin-seong. He had foolishly tried to handle the situation by memorizing some of the data's contents, only to be completely caught off guard.

The consequences of what he had done had come back to haunt him. Although he couldn't think of a solution right away...

"I'll wait."

Shin Tae-oh's voice, soothing and calming, moved Se-hyeon. He knew how much of a support it was to have someone backing him up. With that strength as his support, Se-hyeon took action.

With his phone still in his pocket, Se-hyeon entered the cafe.

"Seeing everything here, was it a coincidence? If not..."

Ha Jin-seong, who was drinking coffee, mumbled when he saw Se-hyeon standing in front of him.

"It's both."

As Se-hyeon took his seat, the cafe owner personally brought him a cup of coffee. Se-hyeon nodded in gratitude and clasped the mug with both hands.

It was not just the warmth of holding his hands that made him feel hot. It was a proof that winter was receding and spring was coming.

"I called the company, but they said you weren't there, so I wondered where you might be. I wasn't sure if you would be here."

"That's right."

Ha Jin-seong smiled mischievously and looked out the window. It was a late afternoon with rain falling, and there were no people passing by. He tapped the table lightly to the sound of raindrops hitting the window frame.

"The article must have already been published, so why did you come? It won't change anything if you're here."

"I know."

Se-hyeon acted nonchalant, as if it had nothing to do with him.

"You don't even try to stop it. Why? Did you come from that company?"

Ha Jin-seong raised an eyebrow and playfully asked.

"Do you expect me to come and fix it now? And continue with the consortium?"

"..."

"If you want, I can have my secretary take care of it."

Ha Jin-seong spoke excitedly, trying to engage in conversation, but Se-hyeon didn't feel the need to respond. He simply looked at Ha Jin-seong's face and nothing more.

In the end, Ha Jin-seong fell silent, and the occasional conversation between the occasional customers and the owner was all that filled the space between them.

Se-hyeon didn't miss a single detail, from the fading smile on Ha Jin-seong's lips to his silence. Until he met Ha Jin-seong, he had no idea how to solve this situation.

Wandering around aimlessly might have been reckless. If it weren't for Shin Tae-oh, he might have been able to stop in the middle.

But now that he faced Ha Jin-seong, he knew what he had to resolve.

"You are..."

After a rather long silence, Se-hyeon took a deep breath.

"You're not good at acting."

"What?"

"If you're genuinely excited and happy, that's one thing, but there's no need to force acting that doesn't work."

"What are you talking about?"

Ha Jin-seong turned his head with an annoyed expression. Se-hyeon noticed Ha Jin-seong's bewildered emotions upon being caught and smiled.

"Have you forgotten that there are people around me who are genuinely happy?"

"Surely you didn't come all the way here to mention Shin Tae-oh?"

Ha Jin-seong blatantly showed his displeasure through his eyes, but Se-hyeon acknowledged it nonchalantly.

"Yes, that's right. After seeing someone like that, it's easy to see through your forced acting."

"You seem to have a deep affection for Shin Tae-oh."

"Yes, I do. When I think of him, even if I stay still, laughter comes out, and there's a tingling sensation somewhere I can't reach. I didn't know that loving someone could be so wonderful, and I didn't know I could be so whipped."

"A remarkable first love, I must say."

Se-hyeon laughed at Ha Jin-seong's sulking, taking a sip of his coffee.

"I appreciate you acknowledging it as my first love."

"What's there to be grateful for after you said it yourself?"

"I'm grateful for you liking me too."

"You have a lot to be grateful for..."

Ha Jin-seong forcibly choked out his words as he caught on to the meaning in the middle.

"I've come to realize how heavy the feeling of liking someone can be. I also realized that it's an incredible thing for someone to embrace that feeling for my sake. That's why I'm greeting you."

"You're just spouting unnecessary words without even considering my feelings."

Ha Jin-seong muttered as if it wasn't amusing, but his initial calmness vanished, revealing a wavering emotion.

"The candy you gave me to avoid facing that situation, the business card you gave me to meet someone else... I showed you how much weight those things hold for me."

"I came here to apologize for pretending not to know."

"Don't bother."

"I'm sorry."

Ha Jin-seong tried to cut off the conversation quickly, but Se-hyeon continued with sincerity.

"What I want to say today is this."

Perhaps Shin Tae-oh also had this in mind? Maybe he was waiting for me to resolve the unfinished conversation with Ha Jin-seong, rather than expecting me to continue with the consortium...

"You're so selfish to the end. How many times do you plan to hurt me to satisfy yourself?"

Ha Jin-seong looked at Se-hyeon resentfully, gripping his teeth tightly.

"I intentionally published the article. I'm breaking up the consortium because of you. I wanted to corner you by making you think I'll go to Shin Tae-oh."

Ha Jin-seong's gaze sharpened, and the veins in his temples bulged as a threatening aura emanated from him.

"You were my first too."

An accumulation of resentment and frustration seemed to have turned Ha Jin-seong's eyes fiercely menacing.

"If you found out my secret, I thought you'd freak out and run away. What's the point of coming close and then running away like this?"

"I'm not running away."

"Is that so? Then give me a chance. Come and work by my side, just like you did with Shin Tae-oh, and give me a chance."

Along with Ha Jin-seong's sharp emotions, the air around them became heavy. Even though there was no scent, it was clear that his pheromones were emanating and enveloping Se-hyeon.

"It wasn't fair. Wasn't it?"

"From the beginning..."

Se-hyeon closed his mouth, feeling suffocated. It seemed that the concentration of pheromones was quite strong.

"I couldn't be fair. How could there be any other chance when I love the CEO?"

Since Se-hyeon had jumped into the center of the original work for Shin Tae-oh's sake, there couldn't have been a place for Ha Jin-seong from the beginning.

"Then how about something else?"

"In the current situation, I can't make any deals..."

As Ha Jin-seong spoke without being able to calm down his excitement, Se-hyeon reached out his hand towards him.

"Friend."

With a dazed look, as if he had heard something absurd, Ha Jin-seong stared down at Se-hyeon, who shook his hand as if urging him to take it.

"Please be my friend."

"This... Are you asking me to suppress my feelings for you and just watch from the sidelines?"

"There will be someone else to nurture those feelings, just not me."

However, it won't be me.

"Do you know that you're truly a selfish person?"

"So what's your answer?"

With the insistence to answer any emotion, Ha Jin-seong bit his tongue.

"Being friends means becoming lovers. How do you think Shin Tae-oh will feel about that?"

"I'll handle that myself. Anyway, you said you want to be friends. Oh, can I still use informal speech with a friend?"

When Se-hyeon subtly dropped his words, Ha Jin-seong glared at him fiercely.

"Not yet, huh? Oh, this is just me talking to myself. But if we become friends, I'll accept all your dirty traits."

"Dirty... what?"

"And this is a secret."

Se-hyeon leaned forward, as if worried that others might overhear. Despite Ha Jin-seong's pitiful and disdainful gaze, Se-hyeon lowered his voice without being bothered.

"I don't have any friends. You're the first."

Ha Jin-seong hesitated for a moment, as if taken aback, before finally revealing his true intentions.

"You'll regret rejecting me. You'll eventually come to me."

"If you say so."

"You know how persistent my personality is, right?"

"If this were a novel, you would probably be the final villain. You would torment the protagonist to the end."

As Se-hyeon calmly stated that Ha Jin-seong was the worst person, Ha Jin-seong seemed to forget that they were in a cafe and was about to cause a scene.

"You shouldn't do that in a public place."

Se-hyeon's words of restraint only fueled his excitement further.

***

The article was resolved through legal procedures, and the consortium remained intact.

Prev / Next

[cheolism]

hi it’s me the person who requested ‘his reward’. i finally got the time to come back to tumblr and properly appreciate the fic cause i had to rush read it back then and the message i left you bothered me and i felt like it wasn’t appreciative enough compared to how much i loved it (idk if this makes sense but yes) the fic from start to finish i loved every part of it GOD! SEUNGKWAN IS JUST SO OMGGGGG the way he is so gentle with reader AAAHHH and I COMPLETE SUPPORT AND AGREE WITH SERVICE GOD AND PUSSY DRUNK KWAN also the end is so funny😭😭😭 pussy hungry demon! i loved the light heartedness part at the end so much cause phew was the smut intense (positive) once again thank you so much for the fic and i’m so sorry i hadn’t given you a proper thank you message and sorry it took so long to get back :/ i really love all your works and thank you so much for taking time to write beautiful fics! sending you hugs 🫂🤍

omg??? babe!!!! first and foremost: your initial response was okay!!! im sorry it worried you!! but thank you for taking the time to come back!! im soooo happy you loved it!! genuinely!! thank u for taking the time to send this :) i really appreciate it and am sending tons of lovely vibes your way ~

and yes!! service god n pussy drunk kwannie!! i don’t see him as too authoritative in bed — but tbh that could be my asexuality talking keke i don’t imagine really any of the members as particularly authoritative besides like. cheol, gyu, minghao n chan. i think kwannie loves to give and loves to feel worshipped in return. i think he’s the type to take his time and really learn what makes his lover combust!! and he won’t stop until both are satisfied, even if that means him eating them out until the sun rises 🤗

and back to the basics: thank you for sending this lovely!! i didn’t get back to it as fast as i wanted (midterm for college!!! things are hitting the fan!!!!) so i apologize!! but sincere things should be repeated so thank you thank you thank you!!!

#katie: talks #ask #anon #katie: n*sfw

[detectiveconnor]

connor is Very Conscious Always of how accessible something is, when he asks or expects people to reach for it. he works at New Jericho on Thursdays to try to be more accessible. He keeps his LED so the people he interacts with, who might be afraid of humans, are confident he is an Android (among other reasons). He works with New Jericho to introduce new shelters or refuges along public transport routes, in hotspots for Android crime because that’s where there are people who have nowhere else to go. He meets people who have been afraid, who didn’t or couldn’t ask for help, and he works to find out why that was (because they believed the police wouldn’t help? did they think they needed an LED, money, papers to come to New Jericho? How can he - how can they - help these people who can’t access the things they should be able to access?).

connor is very conscious, because of who he is and where he works and the people he interacts with on a daily basis (how closely he works, with suffering), he is very conscious of what barriers there are that stop people from being able to reach the things that they deserve or the things that will help them. He will rarely ever make a decision without considering whether, and how, it will affect disenfranchised people. he will rarely ever recommend, or fail to comment on, a change that will make it more difficult for people who are scared or hurt or desperate, to seek help. there are a handful of things that connor is exceptionally fluent in. among these are the Truth, silence, and finding ways to make help easier for people who have not found it easy so far at all. 

#ingrid talks #'ingrid where is the canon to back this up' i have it but it's bedtime and im going to bed i might come back in the morning #briefly: #1. way he talks to daniel 2. way he meets people at their language 'did he beat you?' in the interrogation before he even believed #it mattered (he could have said 'damage') 3. the way he thinks about the traci and whether she could have walked out on the street #(the lateral thinking involved in that) 4. the way he consistently considers what fear can and can't make someone do and is witness to it #5. the way he will not force his presence on kara and alice unless there is nobody else to try to make their escape more possible #and even then he starts first and foremost with a sincere apology #I Could Go On but i am going to bed #about connor #headcanon

[ignitedbynatsu]

He Makes You Feel Insecure ~ Rogue

A/N: let it be known that I finally managed to update at the deadline I set myself 🥳 I'm so sorry I was gone this past week but college was getting hella busy so I had to focus on that this past week but I'm backkk. Thanks to everyone who stuck around, I missed you all and can't wait to get to the requests ❤️

Genre: angst to fluff

Warnings: swearing, insecurities (he makes you feel too childish)

Other versions:

Gray ~ Laxus ~ Cobra/Erik ~ Bickslow ~ Gajeel ~ Natsu ~ Jellal ~ Freed ~ Sting

🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

A loud crash could be heard followed by your and Sting's laughter filling the guild. You quickly fled the scene and hid behind Rogue while stifling your laughter.

You had played the oldest prank in the book on Minerva. A water bucket on a half-open door. You'll never understand how the brilliant mage fell for that one, but she did, resulting in you hiding from her wrath.

"(Y/N)! Sting!" Minerva screeched as the water dripped down her hair.

"We're sorry Minerva-san, we just couldn't pass the opportunity" you apologize on your and Sting's behalf, but it was nowhere near sincere As you both were still doing everything in your power to not burst out in laughter. It wasn't even that funny, but to you and Sting it was hilarious.

"I swear I'm dating a child" the annoyance that was latched on to the words made you immediately stop laughing. Surely he didn't mean for it to come out that harsh, right?

"I'm sorry, what was that" a soft smile still playing on your lips, but that was quickly wiped off when you met his cold gaze.

"I said that you're fucking childish, (Y/N). It was bad enough having Sting act this way, but with you encouraging him and even joining him? I feel like I'm in a fucking daycare. Grow up, will you" Sting laughter also died down as he saw his friend take his frustrations out on you. "Hey, man, that's not cool-"

"No, Sting, it's fine. I- uh- I'll see you all tomorrow" even Minerva shook her head in disappointment as she observed your slumped shoulders as you left the guild. She didn't miss the tears starting to form either.

The rest of the day everyone felt that they were walking on eggshells around Rogue, not daring to get on his bad side. They felt bad for you. Sure you could be a little annoying with all the pranks you pulled, but they all knew it was just good fun. You never meant any harm and just wanted to make the guild feel a little more like home.

That homeyness that you seemed to bring everywhere you went, was gone the next day. Your usual colourful outfits were replaced by dull grey and black clothes. They even were certain that they hadn't seen you crack a smile once that day.

"Hey, (Y/N)! I got this amazing idea for a prank and-" you interrupted Sting before he could elaborate his grand idea "thank you, Sting, but I'll have to decline."

You had never refused a prank before, nor had he ever heard you talk that formal "that's it"

You raised an eyebrow at him as he stormed off to God knows where.

You hated turning him down. After all, you had been itching all day to break this facade, but it was for the best. It'll pay off in the long run you kept telling yourself. After all, you couldn't imagine a world where you'd have to live without Rogue. So if that meant you'd have to change your personality a little bit, you wouldn't even hesitate to make that sacrifice.

Meanwhile, Sting had left to go find Rogue. He knew that his best friend was the only one who could put an end to this "is this what you wanted?"

"I have no clue what you are talking about" Rogue replied as he turned around to meet the fuming blonde.

"You seriously don't see how miserable you made (Y/N)?" He scoffed as Rogue looked around to spot you. It took him some time as he did not expect you to wear something so... Colourless. "You haven't even spoken to her today, have you?"

"I decided that I was way out of line yesterday and that I should give her some time" he explained. Did you really think you needed to change just to please him?

"How kind of you" Rogue was surprised by the sweet words coming out of Sting's mouth, but when he turned back to the said boy he was met by a harsh glare "now go fix it"

"What if I make it worse" the guilty was slowly eating him alive as he dared to steal another glance at you.

"You can't possibly make it worse than it already is" Sting dismissed his insecurities

"Fro thinks so too!" Rogue's head snapped towards the Exceed "Frosch?"

"It's three against one here" Lector also piped up as the three stared at him expectingly.

The raven-haired sighed, knowing he should do something to fix his mistakes, so he took a deep breath, gathered all his courage and headed towards his girlfriend. He never thought he'd feel this scared again to talk to you.

"(Y/N)... Can we talk?" He wanted to sound confident but when you looked at him and not even spared him a small smile, he felt like he wanted to sink back into the shadows.

"Of course, what is it you'd like to talk with me about?" Rogue cringed how smooth your tone was. No unnecessary intonation, no shouting, no expression. Everything was dull and blank.

"Why are you acting like this" your eyes went wide for a second. Were you still not living up to his expectations? Was it too little? Too much? You had no clue.

"I'm afraid I don't understand what you are talking about" you replied swiftly, covering up any traces of emotions you had just shown. "Did you not want me to stop acting like a child?"

"Yes, but-" "and is what I'm doing not exactly that what you asked me to do?" "Yeah... But-" Rogue was getting frustrated, but he knew he had no right to snap at you again.

"Then I don't see the relevance of this conversation. I'll be heading home now. I'll see you tomorrow" with that you placed a kiss on his cheeks and headed back out of the guild.

Rogue's attempts at covering up his frustration were in vain as you could read him like an open book. Afraid to get yelled at again you hastily decided to head back home. Ready to scream or punch something just to get your own frustrations out.

After the failed attempts of him making it up to you, you managed to put up your facade for a week, until one day you just didn't show up. You didn't notify Sting or Rogue in advance, which you normally do, you were just too tired to deal with anyone.

"Has (Y/N) told you she wasn't coming today?" Rogue's anxiety was through the roof. He nearly burned a whole town to the ground when he lost Frosch. Imagine what he'd do if he didn't know where you, his significant other was. "No"

"I'm going to her house" with that Rogue left in an attempt to find you. Luckily for him, you were indeed just at your house.

Your stomach dropped at the sound of someone knocking at your door. You were tired, no, exhausted even. You hated that you had to pretend that you were someone that you're not, but it was all for a good cause you kept telling yourself, and yet you couldn't muster the energy to keep up that facade.

"(Y/N)? Please tell me your home" your heart broke at the sound of his voice. The worry and desperateness were caused because of you. Once again you were not good enough.

You opened the door ever so slightly, just enough, so he could make out that it was in fact you. "Thank God you're here"

"I'm sorry for not giving a heads-up. I promise I'll be back tomorrow" you promised him as you were about to shut the door again, but he stopped you by placing his own hand against the door.

"(Y/N), please, we need to talk" you contemplated for a minute, weighing the pros and the cons "please"

You slowly opened the door further as a signal for him to come in.

The sight in front of him shattered his heart. Your eyes were red and puffy. Your figure was completely slouched and your arms were wrapped around your middle, hugging yourself, in an attempt to shield yourself away from.

"I'm sorry I probably look like a cry baby right now-" he stopped you before you could finish your excuse "hey, no, none of that"

"I want to tell you something and I need you to listen without you interrupting me, okay?" You nodded your head at his request and waited patiently as he continued. "First and foremost I'd like to apologize for my behaviour last week. I shouldn't have worked out my frustration on you and I shouldn't have attacked you like that."

You nodded your head at his apology "second, I want you to know that you should never change your personality. Especially not for me. I love you, (Y/N). And when I say that, I mean every piece of you. Your good and your bad traits. If fell in love with you for who you are, and not the person you've been portraying as the last week."

"Please go back to your old self. I'd rather have a childish person as my girlfriend than a fraud that's clearly exhausted by putting on a facade. I really am sorry for making you feel like you had to change for me" by now you were full-on crying. Maybe it was because of Rogue's kind words, maybe it was because of the exhaustion, maybe a bit of both. All you cared about now was being in his arms and feeling loved.

"It's okay" you whispered as placed your head on his chest as he planted a kiss on your head.

"It really isn't. That's why I'd like to make it up to you" you broke the hug to look up at him as a mischievous glint was sparkling in his eyes "how about we prank Sting?"

"I'd love to, but for now let's just watch a film and cuddle" you smiled at his idea as you had never pranked Sting before since you always prank others together.

"Anything for you, princess" that's how you spend the rest of your evening in each other's arms, with him reassuring you every once in a while that he loves you and that you should never change.

#fairy tail #fairy tail imagine #gray fullbuster #fairy tail imagines #natsu dragneel #lucy heartfilia #fairy tail x reader #laxus dreyar #lucy heartifilla #natsu dragon slayer #fairy tail lucy #fairy tail gray #frosch #fairy tail jellal #fairy tail natsu #fairy tail icons #fairy tail headcanon #fairy tail one shot #rogue cheney x reader #rogue cheney imagines #rogue imagine #rogue cheney imagine #fairy tail rogue #rogue x reader #ft #ft x reader #ft imagine #ft imagines #ft rogue #sting dragon slayer

[dialovers-translations]

Diabolik Lovers LUNATIC PARADE ;; Subaru Route ー Chapter 1

Yui: ( I have to retrieve my heart no matter what…! )

ー The scene starts in the area surrounding Bernstein Castle

Subaru: Oi, stay focused. 

Yui: Ah...Sorry, Subaru-kun. I got a little worried...

Subaru: Che...The problem’s not gonna fix itself by sittin’ ‘round, right? We just have to go look for it.

Yui: Right...I guess heading towards the city area is our best bet for now?

But how can we get there? Do you know the way?

Subaru: Well...I’d be lyin’ if I said I didn’t but...It’s pretty far away from here.

Yui: I see. It might take a while then.

Subaru: ...

...Come here for a sec.

Yui: Eh? ...Kyah!?

ー Subaru pulls her close

*Rustle*

Subaru: ...There we go.

Yui: W-Wait, Subaru-kun!? What has gotten into you!?

( He picked me up!? )

Subaru: Whatcha mean? ...We’re gonna fly there.

Yui: Eeh!?

Subaru: ...If we take the slow route and walk, your heart may not last, right?

Yui: Ah...

( I see...This is his way of showing concern... )

But, still, I’m a little scared of flying there...

Subaru: I’m gonna bite your tongue if you keep complaining! Now shush and let me carry youーー!

ー He leaps into the air

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the city area

Yui: ( Thanks to Subaru-kun, we reached the city in the blink of an eye... )

Things are more lively here than I expected.

Subaru: Yeah...There’s way too many people, it’s pissin’ me off...

Yui: ( Subaru-kun may say that but...The Demon World’s Parade seems kind of fun. )

( But, I’m sure I would have been able to enjoy it much more...If only we didn’t have other objectives already. )

Subaru: ...

Yui: ( ...No, there’s no helping it. Right now, we have to search for my heart. )

What should we do now?

Subaru: That’s not even a question! We’re gonna storm that darn castle and give Count what’s-his-face a good beatin’!

Yui: Eh!? Violence isn’t the answer...!

Subaru: You think I give a damn!? That guy had the nerve to steal somethin’ so important to you!

He should be happy he gets away with just a few punches!

Anyway, let’s head to the castle. We can talk ‘bout that later.

ー The scene shifts to the front gate of Bernstein Castle

Yui: Wah...What a large castle...

( Is this...Bernstein castle...? )

( The gates are closed shut, so I doubt it’ll be easy to get inside... )

*Thud*

Subaru: Che...We can’t get in like this...

This castle...It has an anti-Vampire barrier surrounding it...

Yui: A-A barrier...!?

Subaru: Shit! Fuck him and his petty tricks!

...Ugh!

*THUD THUD*

Yui: Wait, Subaru-kun...!? 

Subaru: If we can’t get in normally...We just gotta force our way inside...! I’m gonna break through this shit!

*THUD*

Yui: You can’t do that!

Subaru: Some nasty bastard stealin’ other people’s shit deserves no better...There!

*Crumble* 

Yui: ( Ah...The wall...! )

Subaru: Heh...Look at that. It’s more fragile than I thought. I might actually be able to kick a hole through. Hehe...

Yui: ( He’s completely set on destroying it...! What should I do...!? )

???: ーー Hold it.

Yui: Eh...?

( That startled me...Someone appeared out of nowhere... )

Subaru: Aah? Who the fuck are you?

Butler: ...My sincere apologies for the belated greeting. I am one of the butlers employed here. 

Yui: ( Here? ...So he works for Count Walter...? )

Subaru: And what does his butler want from us? We’re here to see the Count himself.

Butler: Yes, of course. I am aware.

ーー My master is waiting for you two inside. This way, please.

Subaru: Hah?

ー The gates open

Yui: ( Eh? ...They’ll let us in so easily...? )

Subaru: Wait, it might be a trap of some sorts...

He went as far as to put up a barrier ‘round his castle. I can’t imagine he’d meet us without a catch. 

Butler: It is most definitely not a trap.

My master said that he would rather not have the outer walls destroyed any further.

Yui: Ah...

( We can’t deny that one... )

Butler: ...Well then, please enter.

Subaru: ...

Che...Oh well, let’s go.

Oi, we don’t know what’s waitin’ inside...So don’t you dare leave my side, okay?

Yui: Y-Yeah...

ー The two of them enter the castle

Butler: Please make yourself comfortable here for a bit.

Subaru: ...Hmph.

Yui: ( I almost feel a little relieved (1) after we came here expecting the worst... )

Perhaps we don’t need to be so alert...? 

Let’s just sit down for now. 

Subaru: Che...

*Thud*

Yui: ( Waah...The outside looked splendid as well, but the interior is just as luxurious... )

Subaru: Oi, don’t look ‘round too much.

Yui: Ah...Sorry. I couldn’t help myself...

Subaru: Geez...

Butler: I have prepared a cup of tea as well. 

*Cling*

Yui: T-Thank you very much! Let me have a taーー

Subaru: Don’t drink it!

*SHATTER*

Yui: Ah...

( Seems like Subaru-kun is still alarmed after all... )

???: ...Well, well...Now that’s a guard dog if I’ve ever seen one..

Subaru: ーー Who’s there!?

Yui: ( Where is his voice coming from...? )

Count Walter: My name is Walter. It is a pleasure to meet you, Sakamaki Subaru and...the young lady over there.

Well, that being said...It might not be the first time the two of us meet...

Yui: ( Eh...? )

Subaru: Spare me the formalities! Show yourself already!

Count Walter: ーー I refuse.

Subaru: ...Excuse me!?

Count Walter: I am not as foolish as to carelessly extend my hand towards a ferocious watchdog who seems ready to lash at me any second.

However, let me praise you for your cautious behavior.

Subaru: What did you expect!?

Yui: ( Subaru-kun... )

Subaru: Give back her heart already!!

Count Walter: Sorry to disappoint, but I cannot do that.

Subaru: Aah? And why not!?

Count Walter: I have yet to come to a conclusion.

Yui: A conclusion...?

Count Walter: Yes, exactly. Young lady, whether or not you are a fit candidate for this unique heart ーー

I do not know yet. As long as I am not convinced, I simply cannot hand this back to you.

Subaru: Haah!? What kind of bullshit is that!?

For one...That’s not somethin’ you get to decide, is it!?

*CRASH*

Yui: Ah!

( The vase...He broke it...!? )

Count Walter: ...! That vase...!

Subaru: Ah? What ‘bout it?

Count Walter: Cut it out! Every piece of decoration in this castle is highly valuableーー

Subaru: Heeh, thanks for the information. In that case, I’ll make sure to make quick work of all of it.

...Take this!

*Thud*

*CRASH*

*Shatter*

Count Walter: Aah!

Subaru:  I don’t mind stoppin’ if you return her heart.

*CRASH*

Yui: Subaru-kun, you’re going too far!

( Count Walter has been left completely speechless... )

Subaru: ...What?

Yui: Eh?

Subaru: ...Why would you say that...When I’m doin’ this all for you...?

Che...

*SHATTER*

Subaru: There! What do you have to say now, huh!?

Yui: ( I doubt staying here will do the situation any good... )

Um...Subaru-kun? Why not calm down for now and then we can come back and try again later? 

Subaru: Aah? No need.

Also, you really think I’m gonna back down after we made it this far!?

Yui: But, look! Count Walter has gone quiet as well...

I doubt he’s willing to continue this conversation with us any further.

So...Please? Let’s go back for now? We have to find a place to stay for the night as well.

ー She pulls him away by his arm.

*Rustle*

Subaru: Ah, oi! Yui!

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to the gondola docks

Yui: ( I somehow dragged Subaru-kun this far but... )

Subaru: ...

Yui: ( He seems to be in a bad mood... )

Seems like we can at least take the gondola to return to the city. Shall we be on our way then?

Subaru: ...

Gondolier A: A ride for two?

Yui: Yes please.

Gondolier A: Off we go!

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to Rubien Canal

Yui: ( ...He’s been facing away this whole time...I want to tell him something though. )

Subaru-kun, you seeーー 

Subaru: ...What?

Yui: Um...Well.

I was happy you were trying to get my heart back.

Subaru: ...

Yui: But did you ever consider what might happen if the Count resorted to doing the same thing you did back there...?

Subaru: ...Haah!?

What I did...?

...

...Ah.

...You think that maybe he’ll destroy your heart as well...?

Yui: Y-Yeah...I think that’s a possibility.

Subaru: ...

...My bad.

I completely lost my temper...so I didn’t think that far ahead...

Sorry...

Yui: ( I made him sad...What should I do? )

Selection

→ Talk to him (☾)

Yui: S-Still...You did it with my wellbeing in mind, right?

Subaru: Yeah...Well...Obviously.

Yui: In that case...I’m very happy with that sentiment!

Subaru: ...

→ Don’t do anything 

Yui: ( However...It all started because my heart got stolen. )

( If he takes my words the wrong way (2), it might only makes things more awkward... )

Subaru: ...

Yui: ( Ah...I think I just made him even more sad...I should have said something. )

Yui: ( Hm...Isn’t there a better way to cheer him up...? )

( ...Right. )

Subaru-kun, I’m sorry but...Nn!

*Smooch*

Subaru: Wha...!? W-What are you doin’...!? 

Yui: ( Uu...It’s kind of embarrassing to take initiative to kiss his cheek but... )

...I know you did all of that for me so...I guess that was my way to...thank you...?

Subaru: ...Che...Fuck, don’t be doin’ that embarrassin’ shit...

For one...I only did it ‘cause I was pissed off...Not for your sake or anythin’...

Yui: Fufu...

( I’m glad. Seems like he calmed down a little. )

Well then...Shall we go apologize first and foremost? 

Subaru: ...Che, guess I have no other choice...

ー The scene shifts to the front gate of Bernstein castle

Yui: ( I’m sure the Count is very upset. )

( I hope he’ll forgive us... )

( However, if he doesn’t... )

Subaru: ...Oi.

Yui: ...Hm? What’s wrong, Subaru-kun?

Subaru: Wait one sec.

ー He walks away

Yui: ( There he goes...I wonder what has gotten into him...? )

*TIMESKIP*

ー Subaru returns

Yui: ( Ah...He’s back. )

Where did you go?

Subaru: ...Here, for you.

Yui: Eh...? A flower? Where did you get this...?

Subaru: They were handin’ them out over there, so I just went and got one.

So...Wipe that frown off your face already, okay?

Yui: Ah...

( Could it be...Did he grow worried because he realized I was feeling anxious...? )

Thank you, Subaru-kun.

Subaru: Hm...

*Rustle*

Yui: ( Ah...He grabbed my hand... )

( If we can show that our feelings are sincere, I’m sure the Count will be able to forgive us, right...? )

*TIMESKIP*

ー The scene shifts to cafe Tarte Tatin

Yui: ( ーー Or so I thought... )

Subaru: Fuck, why!?

*Thud*

*Cling*

Yui: ( I can actually relate to Subaru-kun right now... )

Monologue

ーー Afterwards,

we  headed towards Bernstein castle,

for the second time...

However, no matter how many times we called out,

not even the butler showed up,

let alone Count Walter himself.

So with no other options at hand,

we entered a nearby cafe,

where Subaru-kun simply raged on.

Subaru: What’s that guy’s plan...!?

Yui: Hm...I guess we might have no other choice but to compensate for the broken goods....

Subaru: Sounds easy enough but...I don’t remember every single thing I destroyed.

Yui: R-Right...

( There was barely anything left of the stuff in the living room after all... )

But, I believe you dealt the most damage to the vases, the sculptures and...also some paintings, I think?

Subaru: I’m...impressed you remember all of that...

Yui: ( I was watching in panic after all... )

I did say we should compensate for them, but I’m pretty sure those were either unique art pieces. 

Or they’re extremely expensive so...What do we do now?

( Besides, I know near nothing about art... )

Subaru: ...

...The Old Man has this collection, you know.

Yui: Eh?

Subaru: Just like Count Walter, he enjoys going ‘round collectin’ all types of weird artworks.

Yui: Really?

Subaru: Yeah. There’s this shady Vampire who goes ‘round sellin’ art to the likes of them.

If I remember correctly...That guy should live in this city...

Yui: Eh? Then if we go see him...!

Subaru: ...Guess it’s worth talkin’ to him at least.

Yui: For sure! He might be the one who sold the Count some of the art pieces in his castle!

( Thank god, we somewhat settled on where to go from here...! )

Um...Then shall we go see him tomorrow?

Subaru: Yeah...I’m beat after everythin’ that went down today...

We should find a place to stay sooner rather than later and rest up. Tomorrow’s lookin’ to be another busy day after all.

ー The scene shifts to the lobby of Mondstein Hotel

Yui: Subaru-kun’s sure taking a while...

( He hasn’t returned since he left for the reception... )

Subaru: ...

Yui: Ah, Subaru-kun! Were you able to get us a room...?

( His behavior is a little off. Maybe they were fully booked...? )

Subaru: What do you think!? (3) There’s barely any rooms left ‘cause of the Parade...

Yui: Eh...?

Subaru: ...They’ve only got one room left.

Yui: Ah...Phew. I was worried about what we’d do in case they were fully booked...

We got lucky there’s one left!

Subaru: Why are you actin’ like it’s no big deal!? Do you know what that implies!? There’s only ONE room!

Yui: Eh? Y-Yeah...Is there a problem with that...?

Subaru: ...Ugh...

Do I have to spell it out for you...!? A man and a woman sharing the same room is obviously asking for trouble.

Yui: ...! ...Now that you mention it...

B-But...Isn’t it still better than not having anywhere to spend the night at all...?

( Besides, sleeping outside in the Demon World would be pretty dangerous, no? )

Subaru: ...Fuck, don’t you have any sense of danger at all...?

Yui: Eh? Did you say something just now?

Subaru: Shut up! I didn’t say anythin’!

Che...You can take the room. I’ll just find somewhere else to sleep.

Yui: Y-You can’t do that...! If you don’t get a proper night’s rest, it might affect you tomorrow...

Anyway, we were lucky to snatch the last room so let’s just take it?

Ah....But if you dislike the idea of sharing a room with me that much...I suppose I can consider it...

Subaru: I-I never said I dislike the thought of it, did I...!?

...

Fuck...Don’t blame me if somethin’ happens...

ー The scene shifts to the hotel room

Yui: ( We made it to our room at least, but... )

*Rustle rustle*

Subaru-kun...What have you been doing this whole time...?

Subaru: Can’t you tell? I’m drawing a line in the middle of the bed.

Yui: ( Where did he even pull that divider from...? )

Subaru: Listen up. Starting from here to the other edge is your side.

So don’t you dare cross this line. 

Yui: S-Sure...Fine by me...

( Uu...Now that I think about it, having to share a room with Subaru-kun does make me a little nervous... )

( The nerves are only just getting to me... )

ー They can hear noises coming from the outside

Yui: Hm? What could this sound be?

( Guess I’ll step out on the balcony. )

ー The scene shifts to the balcony

Yui: Waah...!

( There’s a drum and fife band performing over by the gondolas we boarded earlier! )

( I should go inform Subaru-kun as well! )

Hey, Subaru-kun, why don’t you join mーー

*WOOSH*

Yui: ( ...What? What’s this uncomfortable feeling inside my chest...? )

( Ah...I’m dizzy... )

Subaru: Oi, Yui! Everythin’ okay!?

ー She nearly collapses

*Thud*

Yui: Ah...Subaru-kun...

Subaru: What’s wrong? You gave me a scare when you suddenly lost your balance just now...

Yui: Sorry...My heart just acted weird for a second...

Thank you for supporting me.

Subaru: ...

...If that guy does somethin’ to your heart ‘cause I went on a rampage...

I don’t know what I’d do...

Yui: It only lasted for a few seconds and now everything seems completely fine again so...I’m sure it’s fine.

Subaru: ...Ugh...

This is the part where you get mad at me, no!? Why won’t you blame me!?

Yui: Well...

Judging from what we learnt about him today, the Count strikes me as the type of person who can appreciate a treasure when he sees one so...

I don’t believe he would thoughtlessly destroy something of value, don’t you think...?

So, no need to worry that muーー

*Rustle*

Yui: ( Wah...He wrapped his arms around me...! )

Subaru: ...Haah...You really are too kind and optimistic...

Yui: A-Am I...?

Subaru: Yeah. But...I don’t exactly...dislike that side of you.

*Rustle*

Yui: ...

...Thank you...

( Uu...How embarrassing... )

Ah! S-Subaru-kun! Look! They’re going to play again!

Subaru: ...Che...Who gives a damn ‘bout that shit? Focus on me right now.

For one...Don’t be gettin’ distracted by other stuff when I’m right here in front of you...

Yui: Fufu...Sorry...

Subaru: Che...I’m sure you’ll have another chance to watch the performance in the future, no?

But...Well, if you insist...I guess we can watch together.

Yui: ...Yeah!

( It’s a little embarrassing while he’s still holding me in his arms but... )

( Still, I’m happy we get to enjoy it together like this. )

These kinds of performances are kind of exciting, don’t you think?

( I know now’s not the time for that but... )

Subaru: ...

Yui: Ah...Sorry. I bet you’re not in the mood right now...

Subaru: No...It’s fine.

Yui: Eh...?

Subaru: ...I’ll fix this whole ordeal somehow...

So you just keep that dumb smile on your face, ‘kay?

Yui: D-Dumb...? How mean!

Yeah...But...Thanks.

( How strange...Subaru-kun shouldn’t have a body temperature but...For some reason, he feels warm. )

( He’s right here with me. )

( That alone is very reassuringーー )

ーー TO BE CONTINUED ーー 

Translation notes

(1) 拍子抜け can mean either ‘to feel disappointed/demotivated’ or ‘to feel relieved’ depending on the context. In this case, I chose ‘relieved’ because them being let inside the castle should be considered a good thing.

(2) フォローする obviously comes from the English ‘follow’ and is used whenever someone backs you up or tries to say something supportive/encouraging to improve the mood. In this case, Yui is worried about her words of support being taken the wrong way, so she decides to stay quiet.

← RETURN TO PROLOGUE

→ PROCEED WITH MAIN STORY [CHAPTER 2]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #1 [W/ AYATO]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #2 [W/ LAITO]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #3 [W/ YUMA]

→ SUB-SCENARIO #4 [W/ AZUSA]

#diabolik lovers #dialovers #subaru sakamaki #lunatic parade #diabolik lovers translation #lpsubaruchapter1

[chronicbatfictioner]

Exchanges and Compromises - Chapter 17

Jason was having the time of his life.

Dick was sure of it. He might grump and sulk a lot more than before, but Dick was sure that he was having fun. Sure, guarding Damian might be a little more than tasking, after a while - especially since Damian was so certain that he could face Bane alone if it comes down to it, conveniently ignoring the fact that: a. he's ten and practically one-tenth of Bane's size; b. the Waynes most likely would detest having to clear intestines off the marble floor if Damian were to be let near a katana and/or Bane, and c. Alfred definitely would detest cleaning intestines or parts of Damian off the floor or walls.

And d. Bruce Wayne seemed to actually enjoy having Damian around and has no qualm in talking to Damian as if he was twice his age. Bruce's age, that is. Not Damian's. Dick suspected that Bruce has spent a lot of time talking to 60-year-olds.

But there were numerous forms of excitement that were offered by the Wayne Manor. First and foremost were the cars. Dick has never learned to drive - being a Talon kind of impeded the learning process of 'common human things'. Jason, however, was an excellent driver. He had mentioned something about being a getaway driver in warzones, and Dick couldn't be sure if he was telling the truth or joking. Either way, he rather enjoyed it whenever he and Jason had to take Damian somewhere in town.

Except for today, as somebody seemed to have tampered with the car.

It wouldn't brake, and they were cruising really, really fast.

Hence Dick's belief that Jason was having fun. He did not look perturbed at the slightest as he controlled the car, swerving crazily over the backroads, making sharp u-turns instead of going into the city roads and went back where they came from. Within a mile from the Drake House's gate, Jason finally managed to cut down the speed to the point where the car's engines died and it rolled to a stop. On the Drake House's gate.

"Seriously, people," Tim remarked dryly as they walked in - leaving the car at the gate and settling their respective adrenaline back down. "I've heard of visiting the neighbors, but must you be like, dying and/or damaging people's property before you come here to say hi?"

"The car was tampered with," Damian reported. "Must be the brute. And I shall replace your gate, Drake."

"I think I'm down to like, eight lives. No-- seven." Dick admitted, "my heart's still beating a hundred miles per minute. Good thing, though, at least that way I know I'm quite alive."

"Dick, you're a bird. Not a cat." Tim deadpanned. His eyes never leaving Jason, who had lit up a cigarette as he walked through the house. "Since when do you smoke?"

"Since I was eleven," Jason replied. "And since I walked into a house that has laser triggers that were set up by a lunatic. Smoke worked to reveal them all."

"I'm... partially scowling because smoking kills. But I suppose laser triggers would kill faster..." Tim replied.

"The lasers are used to trigger booby traps just about Damian's height. If he were to be a common kid and run around the house, he'd be decapitated within the first few days." Jason continued bitterly. "What the fuck is wrong with that giant lump of steroids, anyway? He was ready to kill a child!"

"The nutshell version is that the child would prevent his usurping the Waynes' wealth." Tim pointed out. "The long version is that I don't think he's really the child of Dr Wayne, the Waynes know of it, and they're literally being held hostage in their own home. Also, you people are being watched, too, by drones. I've asked Harper to kill those drones for entering my property."

Tim then explained Bruce's visit and the USB. "Oracle has contacted him and told him we... the Birds, that is - are investigating the evidence."

"How long until we can punch the asshole out of the house for good?" Jason demanded, accepting a bottle of water Tim handed him. Slowly and gently. Making sure his fingers brushed Tim's. And Dick had to swallow a grin.

"That, unfortunately, would be up to the GCPD. Did you guys saw the news? Vicky Vale's article on Damian?" Tim... preened a little, waving his hair as he walked away from Jason. Dick's lips itched, he wondered if Barbara or the other girls -- if Selina or Dinah have noticed this. The two were definitely flirting.

"I have seen it. It had good pictures of my mother and grandfather, and quite... adequate descriptions of both of them." Damian replied. "Evidently father has made a comment to the writer about me looking like him when he was my age."

"Well, you kind of do look like him, except for the green eyes." Dick pointed out. Bruce's eyes were blue - like both his parents. But from the photos of little Brucie around the house, Dick could see a little of Martha Wayne in Damian's still-round face. "When did Bruce make the comment?"

"Oh, Vale called him." Tim snickered. "She still has his personal number, and she commented something about hearing a - quote: 'constipated buffalo sounds in the background' - unquote. She was also wondering if Bruce was in a bullfighting ring somewhere."

"Seriously?" Dick laughed.

"Seriously. Even Barbara couldn't stop laughing hearing that." Tim assured him. Jason rolled his eyes but looking amused, anyway.

"Sooo... a possible off-road accident for the apparent heir is in the books?" Jason suggested.

"I won't put it past Bane. Damian...?" Tim started. But Damian already nodded in acknowledgment.

"I shan't eat anything that is not presented by Todd or Grayson, nor will I frolic the manor on my own. This shall be more to bear witness to your insinuation of my 'child-like' behavior than to take care of me, Drake, as I am quite capable of sustaining my own life." Damian scoffed.

Tim paused visibly for a good two seconds, before nodding, "of course. Furthermore, I can assure you that Alfred is safe, mainly because as a butler, his focal interest would be the actual Waynes. That's in his training - unless an offspring is publicly announced, they are not to be cared for by the Butler. In Wayne Manor, the proverbial child would solely be Bruce - for obvious reasons, and Damian, whom Bruce has publicly acknowledged." Tim explained.

"He was in MI6," Jason remarked. "Alfred, that is. Not Bane. It would be safe to say he's loyal. He told me of the booby traps and that Bane has a daily dose of injection of the steroid-like substance. But I-- we shall prepare you emergency rations - just in case, anyway."

"You guys can always drop by here. And don't think that Damian would be Bane's only target." Tim reminded. "If I was him, I'd take out the big guns - that is you two - first; and then Bruce, because he'll want to be protective of his son; and then Dr and Mrs Wayne last."

"Then I'm afraid you are forgetting one of the members of the household that is most dangerous, Master Tim," a voice spoke; Jason pulled out his gun, Damian automatically hid behind him while pulling out a small dagger.

Dick wanted to lunge right toward the source of the voice until he realized that it was Alfred Pennyworth, both hands raised up to show that he was unarmed.

"How...?" Jason growled, "I didn't hear the front door open."

"Apologies, gentlemen. I should have informed you that there is an underground passageway between the two houses that were once used frequently, but now has all been forgotten." Alfred explained. "You were right that I was in MI6, Jason; as you were right that my focus will and forever shall remain the true Wayne blood, Master Tim. Not ones who claimed as such and refused to provide irrefutable evidence."

"Does Bane know of this passageway?" Tim asked.

"It is located in the staff's wing, and as he is not permitted to be there, I sincerely doubt it," Alfred replied. "I have my own... booby traps and surveillance that should tell me if anyone has been there." he smiled. "I am aware that both of you have prowled the entire house at one point or the other in the past few weeks." he nodded toward Jason and Dick. "You were stealthy, indeed."

"But not stealthy enough?" Dick quipped. "I gotta go back to training... Anyway, why are you here?"

"I saw your vehicle's mishap and its stop here. If anything, Bane is not... stealthy enough." Alfred pulled out a small memory card. "To get to the garage, one must pass the servants' hall. And the garage is my province."

Tim accepted the memory card, plugged it into his cellphone; and then projected its content to a wall. "Huh... this should be enough evidence of tampering..." Tim commented. The memory card showed a clear date stamp - that morning, a few hours before Bane and the Waynes left the house. It also showed Bane himself, jacking the car that was now resting with a dented bumper at Tim's gate, while holding a plier.

"Anyone watching our car now?" Dick commented. "Won't be cool to have it suddenly fixed, will it?"

"Harper should be. Plus, y'all are on my property. If he trespasses, I'll have his ass arrested." Tim huffed. "So... if anyone has ideas--" Jason and Damian's eyes lit up; Tim glared at them and continued "--that do not include sharp and/or exploding objects of how to remove Bane from the Manor..."

"I'm fresh out," Jason replied mournfully. "No sharp objects, no exploding objects... what do you expect me to do? Poison him?"

"But Todd, did my mother not teach you the arts of food as medicine?" Damian piped up.

The sudden silence as all eyes landed on Alfred was quite ominous.

"I will not conduct a crime, young masters," Alfred remarked dryly.

"Oh nooo... not a crime," Jason grinned mischievously. "It's just... you know that Damian was born in the Middle East, yeah?"

"I may have quite a culinary skill, but I fear that my Middle Eastern cuisine knowledge is rather limited," Alfred said demurely.

"Well, mine isn't." Jason grinned. "Besides, what else should one do to celebrate one's entrance into such a distinguished family; but hold a family dinner?"

"You're going to poison him." Dick groaned.

"Not to death!" Jason protested. Dick gave him an unimpressed glare. "Just... to the point where he would realize that he and I have opposing objectives."

"Do let me know of the ingredients you require, Jason." Alfred intoned. "Or perhaps you prefer to shop on your own? I shall fetch a new, un-tampered-with vehicle."

"Oh, please do, Alfred. I doubt we can make a single trip. But they will be fun." Jason replied, grinning.

Dick knew that the sense of foreboding was not in him only. Tim looked like he was contemplating moving away to Alaska.

"For the records, I don't know anything about cooking," Dick said defensively.

"I'm... truly and fully reconsidering my life choices," Tim admitted.

"Oh, don't worry, Drake. Todd was trained by the best," Damian grinned mischievously. "I pity the fools who think him as a brute. I pity the brute who think that small equals weak."

#Batless!AU #JayTim #Dick Grayson #Tim Drake #Jason Todd #Damian Wayne #Alfred Pennyworth #stray!tim #RedGhost!Jason #Talon!Dick

[katsidhe]

15.20 Final Thoughts

Supernatural is over, and somehow, despite itself, it did the very best it could to please me. That was always going to be an impossible task. But truly, sincerely, that finale was as close to my desires as the show could ever bring itself to come, and so, so much closer than I ever dreamed it would dare.

I am so, so glad that no other regular characters were involved (Bobby aside, but he was brief). How better to encapsulate their own emptiness? How fundamentally fitting, than in the epilogue to their final battle, wherein the entire world beyond them was erased, the wider universe is merely set dressing for them to move through. And it was so quiet this way. This finale wasn’t overcrowded or rushed. It kept its own peace. And it preserved the tangible claustrophobia that 15.19 invoked: that tangled, lovely, solipsistic, toxic conviction that these are the only two people on earth that matter.

It’s unclear exactly how much time passed between 15.19 and 15.20. I like to think it’s been at least a year, given that they’ve settled into routine and that their grief seems less fresh. (Although yes, the concept of Dean dying on his very first hunt without a resurrection available is hilarious, I must confess.) Their calm domesticity, their peace, was lovely to watch (Sam kicking the laundry machine! Sam with wet hair! Sam running! Sam cooking, Sam looking a little less bulky than usual, and happy!) But man, it really is Dean’s world, isn’t it? Even the DOG, which really, really, really could reasonably have been primarily Sam’s, was Dean’s dog first and foremost. Then on Dean’s say-so, they get in Dean’s car to drive to a pie festival for Dean. Sam is perfectly content to go along with all of it.

As if we hadn’t gotten enough delightful fanservice, we also got one last scene of Sam threatening to torture someone to death. :) what a king.

I love that Dean died to an OSHA violation while fighting a random loose end from season 1 (which, by the way, I CALLED IT, I am so proud of myself). It’s perfectly mundane. I truly and deeply do not understand anyone complaining that Dean should have gone out in a way that’s more epic. He’s been there, done that, guys, and remember how miserable it was? Now there’s no cosmic safety net. Dean died in a broken down old barn, saving some kids. Moments like these are when Dean is at his best, at his most fundamentally sympathetic: when he’s not trying to control the shape of the universe or dictate righteousness or let his anger drive himself down into a destructive spiral. He’s just putting his money where his mouth is. He’s not making a broad moral statement. He’s simply putting his life on the line to defend someone who needs defending. It is not an unworthy end. It’s so much better than going out to, god forbid, God.

Did Dean earn a lifetime of peace? The concept of just desserts is fraught. But I also don’t think it’s something Dean wanted. He wanted to keep killing things in tetanus-infested barns until he died. He got what he wanted. And while the arc of his wants has adapted over the years, MOTW hunting is fulfilling for him.

Dean’s deathbed speech was, oh man. It got me good. Like many of the things I loved in this episode, it was quiet. No desperation, no revising history (or not too much, anyway). Just, “stay with me, please. I love you. Tell me it’s okay.”

The quiet of Sam’s grief, alone in the bunker. How still his face is, until for a little bit it crumples again, and then it comes back and goes still. He’s not trying to control his reactions or press back against his sorrow. There is no work to do, nothing to avenge, no one to find, nothing to defeat. He is alone, and the washes of visible grief simply come and go in waves that he doesn’t try to fight or force.

I need the gif of him flinching at the toaster. His startle reactions are my favorite thing. He’s alone underground, there is not a living soul for miles and miles, he’s just buried his brother, not for the first time, but this time, he knows, for the last. And the goddamn toaster goes off and he cannot control the way his heart leaps up into his throat and the way every one of his muscles tightens.

Sam grows old. Sam. Grows old. Sam grows old! SAM GROWS OLD.

Ohhh my God, Sam grows old. Without Dean! Without hunting! Without Cas! With people outside that claustrophobic world, beyond the four tight walls of SPN, beyond the people approved by Dean and by Fandom, who give him peace and love and fulfillment! SAM GOT OUT. Even with the truly terrible wig the image brings me to actual tears. I cannot believe SPN would allow him to have this. I cannot believe that the show let him be happy without Dean. I want to read the set of novelizations about Sam’s recovery.

Of course this was the only way for Sam to get unwound, and of course it had to happen offscreen in flashes. Thank god for the ambiguity. There’s so much potential there, years and years, we were simply told: and at some point Sam’s life gets better, at some point his mental health improves and he feels safe enough to start a family, with someone, and at some point he has a child, and he dies peacefully, he dies loved and with people who love him, and dammit I’m getting weepy again.

Sam quit hunting. Not in a sudden jolt. We see him leaving the bunker on another job. But when he leaves the bunker, he leaves for good. He has so much knowledge, but he does not preserve the Men of Letters. He does not honor their legacy of extermination and experimentation. Maybe he gives someone else the keys, for the books. Or maybe he’s digitized it all, and maybe it’s done.

Maybe his wife is Eileen, or maybe it’s Amelia, or maybe it’s Piper or Cara or maybe it’s someone new. Maybe it’s not even a woman. And maybe she’s a hunter, but I hope she isn’t, and when Sam tells her, haltingly, in fits and starts, the bare outline of the truth, she looks at him and she believes him. And she understands the shape of the trauma he carries, even if Sam can’t quite speak the details, and maybe Sam goes to therapy. Maybe he doesn’t. Maybe he wakes in pain and fear for many years, but over time, it dulls.

Sam’s son is still a young man when Sam is on his deathbed, probably in at least his eighties. Think about the mountain Sam had to climb to reach that point. How many years and years of work did it take before Sam felt safe enough to want a child? How long for him to gently conquer his terror at the legacy his blood might carry: Lucifer and Azazel are dead, he knows this, but how long before he lets himself believe it enough to permit the risk? And then he raises his child, not in fear and loneliness, but with love and support and care. And he makes sure his son is protected, that he knows to salt his thresholds and ward against demons, but his son will not suffer the way he suffered.

Maybe he untangles his thoughts about Dean, maybe he learns that to feel angry with his brother is not to betray him or to dishonor his memory, maybe he comes to a more complex understanding of their relationship. Maybe he doesn’t. Maybe he simply enshrines Dean, and Dean’s memory becomes ever more golden and untarnished, and the Impala becomes truly an altar. The details of how Sam carries Dean with him—the watch, the car, the absurdly large photos, his son’s name—perhaps these are played straight, and perhaps Sam never finds a more nuanced love. In the meta sense I think we are certainly meant to think this. We are meant to see Dean deified here, canonized into a saint. We are meant to view Sam’s fifty more years of life as worship, as a dedication and an offering.

This is the long shadow of the finale. These are the things untouched by necessity and by design: this is Dean’s apology in 15.18, this is Sam not wanting an apology, and not wanting to hear Dean offer one. This difficult work was always and inevitably going to be elided. But there is so much time, decades and decades, offscreen, for Sam to come to a quieter peace.

I think he can do it.

I think Sam can do anything.

I’m crying again.

I really didn’t think I would cry much about the finale. I thought I would cry at the concept of the show ending, but not at what the ending was. I didn’t think any details would actually affect me. But then Sam got old. I am truly and genuinely hung up on the canonical image of Sam finding peace. Good god. He had GLASSES. Help.

My chief complaint (aside from that absolutely awful Carry On cover, why oh why, they should have just played the original again), if I felt at all like complaining at the moment, would be how happy this ending is. But I can’t begrudge Sam that. I can’t even get too mad at the scene that I was SO SURE I would despise: that of Sam and Dean content in a Heaven that is now apparently Great, Actually (even though a prison dimension with an open floor plan is still a prison dimension, but hey, I guess we humans can’t leave earth either). Supernatural clearly wanted Sam and Dean to not be facing down an abyssally bleak afterlife, and I think I’d be complaining about the lack of bleakness a whole lot more if it didn’t have the (perhaps unintended??) side effect of giving Sam even more freedom from Dean than SPN already deigned to give him. Sam isn’t in a shared cell with Dean. He can be with his friends and his wife and his son.

One of the fundamental questions of SPN is, would Dean ever let Sam go? And it’s a question that the bulk of s13-15 has rendered moot with Sam’s growing passivity, and one that 15.20 neatly dodged. And I’m glad it did, because I wouldn’t have liked whatever 15.20 had to say on the matter. This deflection feels true to the spirit of what the show has become.

It was impossible for Sam to find peace while Dean was still alive. And on its own that kind of says everything, doesn’t it? And Sam is still forever denied the peace he truly longed for. Sam didn’t want death to force Dean’s hand. Sam wanted Dean to want to let him go. But the only way Sam and Dean could heal is apart. The potential of their relationship on earth becoming untangled is forever precluded, explictly. And yet Sam’s freedom is validated, Sam is allowed what he sought in season 1 and season 8, Sam is something beyond a hunter and Dean’s brother, and the show let him be, the show let him grow.

Supernatural said Sam Rights, and the world shook.

#spn spoilers #sam and dean #15.20 #final thoughts #sam and romance #sam and peace #just leave me here to die #I did not realize how relieved I'd be #I do not believe how much tension has left me #at the realization that I liked this ending #and of COURSE there are so many people complaining about sam's peace #but guess what!!! #this isn't season 8! #this time the show agrees with ME! #SAM HAS riGHTs!

[thatsassyhufflepuff]

Stronger Than Blood Chapter 25: Felicity

Summary: Hufflepuff witch Felicity Zabini struggles to find normalcy as she enters into her 6th year at Hogwarts, reeling from her father’s sudden death and her mother’s quick remarriage into the Zabini family. If only she had known that discovering Draco Malfoy falling apart in the bathroom would spiral into so much more.

Word count: 3.8k

Warnings: cursing, angst, fluff

Ao3

I woke up to the sound of tapping against my window, Draco’s arm slung over my waist. He hadn’t even covered himself up with a blanket. I had to roll my eyes at that, but I appreciated the gentlemanly gesture all the same. I glanced around my room before transfiguring one of the bean bag chairs into a blanket. I made quick work of draping it over my boyfriend’s sleeping form before I moved to my window as quietly as I could.

A truly majestic owl greeted me with an indignant hoot, as if to say, “What in Merlin’s name took you so long?” I couldn’t help but chuckle at that.

“Who might you be?” I murmured in a low voice, stroking the snowy white owl’s feathers with two fingers. It only allowed me to pet it for a few seconds before he -- it seemed like a he, anyway-- pecked at my hand impatiently, practically shoving the letter tied to its leg at my hand. I glared at it before untying the envelope from around its leg. The little wretch left as soon as I offered it an owl treat from the jar I kept on the windowsill.

I glanced at my alarm clock. It was only six in the morning. Who on Earth would be writing me this early? I tore open the envelope. The parchment enclosed inside the envelope was exquisite, with intricate designs on the corners, some sort of family crest embossed on one corner. I was reminded of the stationary Mr. Zabini used. Whoever sent this letter came from money, that was certain. Before I had the chance to read the letter, a little handheld mirror fell out of the envelope and into my lap.

“What the--” I caught it before it hit the ground, placing it back in my lap. Now I had to know who had written me. I turned my attention to the letter, hoping it contained an answer. The handwriting was breathtakingly beautiful, reminding me of calligraphy, except it was easier to read.

Miss Zabini,

I apologize for writing to you at such an early hour, but I’m afraid my curiosity has gotten the best of me. Would you join me for tea as soon as you’ve read this letter and prepared yourself accordingly? No need to dress up. Your Hogwarts uniform will do. The mirror included in the envelope is a Portkey to Malfoy Manor that will activate in half an hour.

Sincerely,

Narcissa Malfoy

I nearly choked on my own spit. Draco’s mother invited me to tea! I glanced over at him, wondering if I should wake him. He looked so peaceful that I decided against it, instead getting dressed as quietly and as quickly as I could.

***

Thirty minutes later, I was standing in front of Malfoy Manor. It was enormous, even bigger than my own home. I shoved my hands into the pockets of my robes, gripping my wand, which helped me calm down just a bit. If this was a trap, I knew how to defend myself.

The sun was just beginning to rise as I approached the front door. I couldn’t quite stop my hand from trembling as I knocked.

To my immense relief, Narcissa didn’t answer the door. Instead, a male house elf stared up at me, covered in a rather dirty dish towel. “Miss Zabini?” he asked in a timid voice. I smiled, hoping to put him at ease.

“That’s me,” I confirmed, kneeling so I was at eye-level with the house elf. “But please, call me Felicity. What’s your name?”

“M-miss wants to know my name?” The elf wrung his hands, looking around nervously, as if waiting for someone to appear out of thin air to beat him, the poor thing.

“It’s alright, I’m not going to hurt you. Do you know Draco Malfoy?”

The elf shrunk back unexpectedly. “Y-yes, I know the young master. He h-hurts Dobby. Says mean things to Dobby.”

Of course he does, I thought, rolling my eyes. I made a mental note to scold him about that later.

“I promise I’m not going to hurt you, Dobby. Is that your name? Dobby?” When the elf nodded, I grinned conspiratorially. “You see, Draco is my boyfriend, and I promise that I’ll scold him most severely for hurting you. He won’t do it again.” I stood, holding out my hand to Dobby. “Would you please escort me to your mistress?”

Dobby’s eyes shone brightly as he took my hand. “Dobby likes you,” he announced. “Miss Felicity keeps the young master in line.” He patted my hand before leading me further into the Manor.

Though I didn’t have a lot of time to take in the Manor, I noticed that the layout was very similar to the Zabini estate. Perhaps all of the rich pureblood families compared blueprints when they built their homes centuries ago.

In any case, Dobby pulled me into what must have been the drawing room. I turned, opening my mouth to thank the house elf, but he disappeared with a crack before I could get the words out.

“He has a bad habit of disappearing on you,” An amused voice noted from the corner of the room, and I turned back around quickly. Narcissa Malfoy stood from an overstuffed armchair, seeming to glide over to me. She was beautiful, with Draco’s platinum blonde hair that was oddly mixed with black. Her eyes were cornflower blue, and she wore an elegant black dress that fit her like a glove. I brushed off my robes, feeling severely underdressed.

“Mrs. Malfoy, I’m so sorry, I didn’t--”

The Malfoy matriarch held up a hand to silence my apology. To my surprise, her eyes softened when she saw the way I shrank back from the sudden movement. “You’ve nothing to apologize for, dear.” she said. “And please, call me Narcissa. Mrs. Malfoy makes me feel old.”

I laughed at that. “You’re beautiful, Mrs.--I mean, Narcissa. I doubt anyone would dare to think of you as old.”

She gestured towards the table where the tea kettle already sat. “You’re sweet. Please, won’t you join me?”

I nodded before following her hesitantly. Narcissa sat in her original chair once more. I opted to take a similar chair that was seated to her left, a coffee table between us. “How do you take your tea?” she asked as she rang for Dobby, who appeared right away.

“Two sugars, please.” I answered.

Soon, we were both settled in our seats, sipping at our tea. “I, er…” I started, setting my cup to the side. “I thought about waking Draco up, but he looked so peaceful that I couldn’t bring myself to wake him.”

A perfectly sculpted blonde eyebrow lifted at that, her gaze sweeping my attire. “I confess, I can’t quite imagine my son sleeping peacefully in the Hufflepuff Prefect’s dorm.”

I felt my cheeks burn. “He’s been nothing but a gentleman, I promise. Last night was the first time he stayed, and he slept on top of the duvet.” I shook my head, smiling fondly. “I think the Disney movies wore him out.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“I…” I swallowed hard. “Well, he was being a bit of a prat, and so I figured I would make him suffer through Disney movies to make it up to me.”

Narcissa laughed, surprising me. “He’s always hated musicals. And he sat there with you the whole night?”

I snorted. “I threatened to burn his balls off. Of course he did.”

His mother laughed yet again, and I smiled at her shyly. “Oh, I like you, Miss Zabini, and obviously my son does, too.”

“Call me Felicity,” I insisted, which earned me a gentle smile and a nod.

We chatted for a little while after that. She asked me questions about myself, about my likes and dislikes. She asked about Draco, about how long we’d been together, about how we came together in the first place. Narcissa didn’t seem surprised that I couldn’t stand her son at first.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why I’ve called you here now...of all times especially.” Narcissa stood from her chair. “Come, take a walk in the gardens with me.”

I chewed on my lip. “But Draco…”

She waved her hand impatiently. “He won’t be awake for another hour. I’m his mother, I know these things. Walk with me, Felicity.”

The words were polite enough, but they weren’t an invitation--they were a command, so I rose from my seat, hurrying to follow the older witch.

Her garden was beautiful. Flowers of every kind bloomed, some that weren’t even in season, no doubt sustained by magic. The tense lines of Narcissa’s mouth seemed to relax as she breathed in the fragrances of her garden.

“First and foremost,” she began, turning to me. “I wanted to thank you. As I’m sure you’re aware, this year, and the last, honestly, have been…” Narcissa searched for the right word. “Difficult for Draco, to say the least.”

“I know,” I murmured, shaking my head. “I wish he would let me do more to help.”

“That’s what I wish to thank you for,” She took my hands, squeezing them briefly. “You’ve helped him more than you realize, Felicity. I’ll be the first to admit that he’s always been spoiled. That’s my fault, I’m afraid. I’ve doted on him too much. But with the Dark Lord’s task, and now…” She shuddered. “That is to say, I haven’t seen my Draco happy for a long time. You’ll understand more of what I mean when you have children of your own, but it’s hard to watch your children suffer. You’ll want to do anything to ease their pain.”

Narcissa sat on a bench nestled in the middle of the garden, patting the spot beside her. I took a seat obediently. “My family is everything to me, dear. I would do anything for them. I’ve had no idea how to reach Draco. He was so bitter, so withdrawn, that I was afraid he was turning into…”

“His father,” I guessed. She nodded grimly, but then her eyes were brimming with tears.

“I was afraid that I’d never see him happy again. I never expected for him to be happy during all of this.” Narcissa gestured around the Manor vaguely. “But you’ve given me my son back, Felicity, and for that I can’t thank you enough.” Then, the Malfoy matriarch surprised me yet again by wrapping her arms around me in a hug. I only stiffened for a moment before I was squeezing her back.

“You’ve raised an amazing son, Narcissa.” I told her, my breath hitching with emotion. “He just...just needed someone to care for him. Someone stubborn enough to force their way into his life.”

I realized I was crying when Narcissa reached forward and wiped a tear off of my cheek with a silken handkerchief.

“I’m sorry,” I wiped my eyes. “It’s just been so long since…”

While Draco’s mother had let go of me, she wrapped her arm around my shoulders, hugging me to her side and stroking my hair gently, just like my mum used to do before dad died. I let out a strangled sob at the gesture.

“Dry your tears,” She let go of me after a moment, turning to face me on the bench. “There’s something else we need to discuss. But any time you need a mum, you know where to find me.”

I wasn’t surprised that Draco had told his mum about my family situation. I simply nodded, giving her a smile as I tried to rein in my tears. Once I composed myself, Narcissa took my hand, covering it with both of her own. While her eyes were still warm, something else lurked behind them. Sadness? Guilt? It was impossible to tell; she had an impressive poker face.

“How much has Draco told you about our family traditions?”

I blinked. “Um, not much, honestly. I know how your family feels about those who don’t have pure blood. I know that you don’t marry for love in your...circles.” I paused, pursing my lips in thought. Draco and I had been dating for around 6 months at this point, and I didn’t think I was in love with him, not in so many words, but I was definitely falling for him. His presence was intoxicating, equal parts beautiful and terrifying. He may have annoyed me to no end at times, and he was so bloody stubborn, but it was getting harder and harder to imagine my life without him by my side.

Narcissa sighed. “You have to understand, the...disdain for those not of pure blood has been passed down for centuries. Lucius’s father would be horrified to see a half-blood on the grounds of the Manor right now.” Her smile was apologetic. “I can’t say that I’ve been any more tolerant in my lifetime. To my ancestors, magic is a birthright.”

“So…” I started slowly. “In your eyes, I don’t deserve to be a witch because my father happened to be a Muggle?”

Narcissa looked away from my face for a moment, her gaze distant. “Six months ago, I would have said exactly that. But seeing how happy you make my son, and meeting you now…” Her blue eyes focused on me once more. “You’re good for him. That much is clear. It’s been a pleasure to meet you, my dear. You’re lovely, and anyone who can keep my son in line is a saint. I should know, having raised him. You have my utmost respect.” Her lips twitched with a smile.

“I think you’re the saint here, Narcissa,” I laughed. “But thank you.”

She patted my hand before brushing an errant curl off of my forehead. I was struck yet again by the motherly gesture but managed to hold myself together.

“Draco will be waking soon.” she said. “But there’s one more thing you need to know.”

I found myself holding my breath, a feeling of dread spreading over me.

“If the circumstances were different, I would give you my blessing to court my son. As I said, you’re good for him.” She took a breath. “But I’m afraid I can’t afford you the luxury you deserve.”

My stomach dropped. “What are you saying?”

Narcissa was the picture of graceful serenity. “I cannot give you my blessing to court my son.”

I was sure I’d heard her wrong.

“You're not serious?”

Her lips thinned. “Quite, actually.”

I stood up from the bench, backing away from her, grabbing on to the arm of a marble statue that was situated behind me so I wouldn’t fall.

“You said…” I gulped. “You said I’m good for him.”

“Indeed.”

“Then why…?”

She gave me a sad smile as she folded her hands on her lap. “Because, Miss Zabini...Draco is promised to another.”

My world tilted on its axis. I backed away further, nearly tripping over a small statue of a garden gnome.

“You’re lying.” I said, my voice shaking.

“Believe me when I say that I wish I was. I’m sorry.” Narcissa’s reply was so calm that it made me want to scream. My eyes stung with tears.

“Why on Earth did you invite me here, then?” I asked, a single tear slipping down my cheek. “Just so you could…” My voice caught. “Just to see my face when you tell me I’m not good enough for your son? That he’s been engaged for Merlin knows…” I felt like retching, screaming, and crying all at once.

Narcissa didn’t rise from her seat on the bench. I clenched my fists at my sides. This can’t be happening. This can’t be happening...

“How long?” I whispered.

“My dear…”

“I am not your dear.” I gritted my teeth as more tears fell. “How long, Narcissa?”

She let out a breath. “I sent Draco an owl just before Dobby led you into the drawing room.”

“You what?”

Mrs. Malfoy chose that time to rise from her bench to move towards me, but I backed away. “You have to understand,” she told me softly, her blue eyes glittering with tears. “If it were up to me, Draco could be with someone like you. All I want is his happiness, and it seems that you are his source of happiness. But his father...our family is closely linked with the Dark Lord, Felicity. He would never accept you, nor would Lucius. I’m sparing you that pain, not to mention the danger--”

“You’re sparing me?” I scoffed incredulously, wiping at the tears that trickled down my cheeks. “Sparing me because pleasing You-Know-Who matters more than your only son’s happiness? Because your husband is a bigoted fool?” I glared at the woman. “Forgive me if I fail to see how that’s sparing me pain.”

Her blue eyes turned chilly. “I am doing what’s best for my family. A war is beginning, Miss Zabini, a war where you and Draco will be enemies. Besides,” she sniffed. “Astoria won’t talk to me, her mother-in-law, as you just did. You’re lucky I told you in the first place. It’s the least I could do. And I am sorry.” The woman turned away from me after she tossed me another handheld mirror. I barely caught it in time before it hit the ground. “Your Portkey activates in thirty seconds. Farewell, Miss Zabini. In a different world, we might have been family someday.”

With that, Narcissa Malfoy strode back towards the Manor without so much as a glance back at me.

***

“Fliss?”

Draco’s whisper was the only thing that made me realize I was back in my dorm. My head snapped up. He had gone to his dormitory to get a fresh uniform and a shower, judging from the wet strands of hair that clung to his forehead. When our eyes met, I couldn’t contain my sobs any longer. I let out a cry and rushed into his arms.

The Slytherin embraced me so tightly that it was almost suffocating, but I was crying too hard to care. Draco wisely cast a wandless Muffliato, whispering reassurances that I didn’t have the heart to comprehend, stroking the back of my head with his free hand.

“Did you know this was coming?” I choked out, my voice scratchy. He grimaced.

“I--I was afraid they might try something like this, but I’d hoped…” He rested his forehead against mine, taking a deep breath. “I had hoped that since we’ve been dating for six months now that they’d finally let me be happy. I should’ve known.” The laugh he released was hollow. My heart clenched painfully inside of my chest.

“Who is she?” I asked after a moment, squeezing my eyes shut. I didn’t want to know, yet I had to.

I felt him cup my cheek in his hand, the Malfoy family ring cold against my skin. I leaned into his palm, my throat tightening. “Open your eyes, Fliss.”

I didn’t want to. It was too painful to look at him, but I opened my eyes anyway, hating the tears that leaked out when I did. Draco wiped at my tears with the pad of his thumb before lowering his head and kissing me desperately, his hands drifting down to grip my waist. Usually his kisses were gently passionate, but this was different. This was intense, like he couldn’t get enough of me and was afraid this kiss would be our last.

“Draco,” I breathed his name, pressing a palm against his chest and giving him a little push, feeling his thundering heartbeat under my fingertips. He chased my lips with his own as I pulled back, though I wanted desperately to kiss him until I forgot about everything else.

“Who cares who she is?” My boyfriend mumbled, his hands tightening on my waist. “She’s not you.”

“Draco,” I repeated firmly, reaching up to fiddle with his tie. “Who is she? We have to be realistic, we can’t--”

He cut me off with a firm kiss. “Stop. I don’t want to be with bloody Astoria Greengrass, Fliss! She’s a Slytherin two years below us. Practically wizarding royalty.”

I wrinkled my nose. “She’s what, fifteen?”

Draco shuddered. “The giggly phase. And spoiled as hell if her older sister is any indication.”

“Dray…” I reached up to pat a platinum blonde lock down. “Have you looked in the mirror recently?”

He frowned. “Why, is my hair sticking up?”

“No, Draco. You look as perfect as ever, don’t worry.” My boyfriend’s grin turned smug even though I rolled my eyes when I said it. “What I mean is, it’s rather ironic to complain about someone being spoiled when you are, in fact, spoiled yourself.”

“You see!” He threw up his hands triumphantly. “It would be a terrible match. I could never be with someone so similar to myself.”

“You…” I snorted. “You do realize you just admitted that you’re spoiled, right?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he scoffed. “I said no such thing. Can we go back to the part where you said I’m perfect? I liked that part better. Care to tell me more?”

“I’m sure you did,” I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my cheek against his chest, inhaling his familiar, musky scent, relishing the feeling as his arms automatically encircled my waist. “And as much as I’m sure you’d love me to stroke your ego until its size is unbearable,” He laughed into my hair at that. “We have to talk about this.”

Draco blew out a breath, tilting his head so his lips were against my ear. “What is there to talk about?” he asked, running his fingers through the hair that hung halfway down my back. “I don’t want to be with her. I want to be with my bloody girlfriend.”

“Tell that to your mum,” I mumbled into his chest. “She’s already referring to herself as Astoria’s mother-in-law. And apparently Astoria won’t talk to her like I did.”

He held me loosely away from him. “Do I even want to know what you said to my mother?”

“Probably not.”

“Now I definitely want to know.” Draco pulled away from me, beginning to pack up my bag and his, but he raised two pale blonde eyebrows at me in his, “I’m waiting,” look.

I shifted my footing. “I...may have called your dad a bigoted fool. To her face.”

Draco laughed loudly, forgetting our bags for a moment as he crossed the room and pinched my cheeks between his fingers. “You’re adorable if you think I’m going to let you go without a fight, Felicity Grace Zabini.”

I giggled as he kissed both of my cheeks, but my expression quickly sobered as his words sunk in.

“I’m afraid you might have to.”

He arched an eyebrow at me. “Might have to...?”

I swallowed hard.

“Fight.”

Chapter 26

~~

taglist: @beforeoursunsets @typewriting101 @sadgirlnumber92899

#draco fanfiction #draco fluff #draco malfoy #draco malfoy fanfic #draco malfoy fanfiction #draco malfoy fic #draco malfoy fluff #draco malfoy imagine #draco malfoy x hufflepuff!reader #draco malfoy x reader #draco malfoy one shot #draco malfoy x you #draco x reader #hp imagine #hp fanfic #harry potter #slytherin #hogwarts #Spotify

[peaches-writes]

okay without you

member: jisung wc: 1.4k  genre: fluff, make-up au note: a charlie burg song oops + same universe as before one a.m. but that’s not really relevant to the plot lol dedic: @akutagawahakuryuunosuke hi im sorry i couldn’t write ur request !!! i’ll do better next time promise

[11:38 PM] Jisung comes up the stage alone, automatically making you look around the dimly-lit cafe for any sign of Changbin and Chan from your all-encompassing view standing at the back of the audience. Finding them seated crisscrossed at the very front of the crowd without much difficulty, your eyes then look back up to your friend (or borderline ex-friend, ex-date?, ex-somehow boyfriend you’re not even sure at this point) and only then do you notice the guitar he’s carried on the makeshift stage with him.

“Jeongin, can you dim the lights please?” Jisung asks through the microphone as he sits down and adjusts his guitar on his lap, motioning to the bright lighting. Across from you, Jeongin flicks the switch on on end of the counter he’s been manning alone all night, effectively switching out the light bulbs for the white fairy lights that give a softer glow in your surroundings.

The crowd cheers at this. J.One has never sang solo live before—let alone with a guitar.

“So, uh...hi, it’s J.One of 3racha but I’m just Jisung for tonight since I’ll be singing.” In the darker setting, Jisung’s voice unconsciously reaches lower but he still expresses himself in the same awkward way. Clearing his throat and strumming his guitar once (much to the cheers and applause of your juniors present in the crowd), he continues, “Anyway, since this month’s Open Mic theme is about love—Valentine’s and all—and 3racha’s not really known for love songs, we played a game to decide who’ll perform solo tonight and—and here we are.”

A scattered chorus of ‘Go Jisung’s echo around the crowd and even you decide on joining along without really expecting that he’d take particular notice.

You‘re not in good terms recently, after all, but that didn’t mean you’re not going to cheer him on his first solo performance. In your heart and mind, he’s still someone dear to you first and foremost.

But you don’t see it in the darkness of your surroundings and your distance from the stage that Jisung heard you loud and clear, and that hearing your voice blending in the chorus reaction made him even more nervous.

He was nervous and surprised enough seeing you show up to this Open Mic despite him getting on your bad side and now he hears you cheering him on, as if he didn’t just slowly disappeared from the face of the Earth throughout this whole semester when you just started dating and made you worry so much that you got into an argument about it.

Jisung suddenly felt like he wanted the building to crumble over him but also sing the song he prepared confidently and finally walk over to you.

So he strums his guitar again to calm his shaky hands. “Uh, yeah, that’s that.” He chuckles through the heat rising up his neck. “Performers only have five minutes and I only managed to prepare one song because I couldn’t practice much this week so let’s get it over with.”

He then takes a deep breath as he begins to play a familiar intro. “This one’s for anyone out here tonight trying to figure out what their next move’s going to be. Happy Valentine’s Day, Block 325.”

You wonder what he means—only figuring it out when he begins singing.

“Saying things I don’t believe, and your love casts its shadow on the things I do.” He sings softly, the audience immediately growing silent and swaying along with their bodies. “And I can hear so clearly all the words I wish I said, you’re stuck in my head.”

Though you haven’t talked properly in almost a month, Chan and Changbin happily communicated to you significant happenings to Jisung—keeping up with each other made you fight, after all. You’re informed well-enough that you’re the only person he’s not okay with right now.

And he knows how much you love this particular song.

“But I only think of you, will we be together soon? I’m thrown on the wayside, you’re planted in my mind, but I don’t wanna be okay without you.”

No one claps or cheers this time unlike in the past performances of the night. It only took listening to the way Jisung’s nervousness would slip in between the words to know that he was singing so sincerely.

It makes your heart melt, listening to him, that you can’t pull your eyes away from him as he sings his heart out. Whether it meant something else or not, it didn’t matter at the moment.

You just wanted to make it up with him at this point.

And before you know it, the song’s over and he’s trying to catch your eyes in the darkness and distance, finding you after with much difficulty, excusing yourself from people and making your way outside.

Jisung follows suit once he’s thanked the crowd a few times, passing his guitar haphazardly to Chan before chasing you outside.

[11:47 PM] Jisung finds you looking up at the canopy of trees on the sidewalk as he exits the cafe, hands in the pockets of your hoodie to keep you warm against the cold February air.

You see him approach hurriedly even with your eyes cast upwards and you quickly prepared yourself for a long monologue he always does when he’s upset any of his friends, only to be surprised by a tight hug from him.

“I’m so sorry.” He mumbles against the crook of your neck simply, no planned monologue this time. “I didn’t mean any of it.”

Your shoulders relax under his touch as you hesitantly hug him back. “I know.” You reply after a while, lifting your hands up to his sides and hugging him back.

But still, he insists on his apologies like a chant and it breaks your heart even further, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry...”

“Stop saying you’re sorry too much,” You gather all of your remaining strength to say as light-heartedly as you can, patting his back. “it’s okay, I understand.”

“But I left you.” He points out, effectively making you freeze in his arms. “...and pushed you away.”

Even with such seemingly vague and simple words, you know exactly what he meant and its weight in your relationship. And at that moment, you’ve finally come to terms with your mixed feelings that has been building up throughout this whole semester.

You’re ready to forgive and say sorry to him now.

“I know,” You reply, pulling away slowly once you hear his breath shake next to your ear. “I understand, seriously. You were...busy and stressed and anxious and you needed time alone. I’m sorry I kept pestering you.”

His eyes travel down to his feet, the feeling of shame overpowering his relief that you’re finally communicating properly again. “But you were only looking out for me. I should’ve confided in you instead of pushing you away.” He then scratches the nape of his neck, the words seemingly getting caught up in his throat. You’ve never talked this seriously before and it felt weird—like he doesn’t ever want to cross you again. “I’ll do better, I promise, if you let me.”

“I know.” You smile, trying to catch his gaze after by tilting your head down a bit. “Jisung, look at me, please.”

He looks at you slowly and hesitantly, relief finally overcoming him now that he’s seeing you smile after a while. “Yeah?”

You purse your lips nervously once, shifting your weight awkwardly. “...I love you.” You mumble under your breath, low enough for only the two of you to hear against the distant background chatter and the muffled music. “I’ll try to be more patient and understanding from now on...if you let me, too.”

This time, it’s him frozen on the spot as he contemplates how, even after the chaos that is your past semester, you can still say that to him.

And it’s the first time he’s heard it from you too.

But he knows you mean it—you never throw those words around for just anybody.

“I—I love you too.” He decides to reply after a while, lips breaking out in a grin. “I’m sorry that took so long.”

You nod understandingly, “Like I said, I’ll be more patient, promise.”

“And I’ll communicate better.” He concludes, naturally pulling you into a hug once again. This time, he plants a shy kiss to your crown, swaying you gently from side to side.

Getting to hug you once again after weeks, Jisung finally understands the complete meaning of your favorite song. He doesn’t want to be okay without you, too.

m.list

#stayverse #districtninewriters #stray kids #skz #stray kids imagines #stray kids scenarios #stray kids au #stray kids oneshots #stray kids drabbles #stray kids fluff #skz imagines #skz scenarios #skz au #skz oneshots #skz drabbles #skz fluff #jisung #han jisung #han #jisung imagines #jisung scenarios #jisung au #jisung oneshots #jisung drabbles #jisung fluff

[voidstilesplease]

The Mission To Bring Lydia To Camp Half-Blood Because Her Demanding Poodle/Rottweiler/Hellhound Insists On It a.k.a Theo's First Quest part 1 of 2 [part 2 here]

a demigod au :)

---

"Theo,"

Stiles's voice makes the few people still puttering in cabin five turn to the source of the call. It's not surprising that Theo's siblings' initial reactions are eyebrows shotting to their hairlines, pinched faces, and warning growls at Stiles's unexpected - and rather unwelcome - presence in their territory.

The scornful behavior doesn't discourage Stiles from lifting his chin and stepping further inside. After all, Stiles has always displayed impeccable guts. It's one of the things that attracts him to Theo. And even with aggressive denials, Theo knows his cabin respects this quality from the children of Athena. Of course, it angers and provokes them first, but that's a given. After three weeks in the camp, Theo can confirm that the lot from cabin six can come as intimidating even without trying.

A loud crunching noise disturbs the quiet tension in the cabin just as Stiles takes another step. The Athena boy pauses and looks down to find his feet partially inside a bag of flaming hot Doritos, open at the center of the package like a bowl. He quickly hops off it, looking appalled. "Why do you put food on the floor?"

One of Theo's siblings sighs in annoyance as he picks up the tragedy that is his snack. He glares at Stiles, "I was doing push-ups when you came in - one chip per downward stroke. Do you know whose ass I had to kiss to get this?"

"I'd rather not," Stiles deadpans, bobbing his head soberly, then turns to Theo. With pursed lips, he announces. "I wish to talk to Theo, please."

A moment of silence follows the statement. Stiles remains in his pose, although Theo has noticed the clenching of his fists and tick of his jaw - the only indications that he is also as uncomfortable as everyone else in the room.

Finally, Fred steps away from a bunk post, crossing his arms. "I hope that wasn't a request for us to exit our own cabin, Stiles."

Stiles slides his brown eyes to him, looking slightly desperate.

Fred's head drops with a resigned sigh, "All right," the councilor lets his arms fall. He picks up a helmet and turns to Theo's siblings. "Cabin five except Theo, to the training grounds."

Grudgingly, Theo's siblings trickle out of the cabin, glowering at Stiles and muttering under their breaths. When Theo's sibling, the one who lost his chips to Stiles's foot, passes him, he sneers before going out. "You're replacing my food, smart mouth." Stiles only scowls back before giving an acknowledging nod to Fred behind him, along with an awkward murmured "Thanks."

When everyone has left, Theo walks around the large wooden table meant for war plans (but the Ares cabin utilizes as monopoly area) that is separating the two demigods, and leans his lower body against it, crossing his arms and ankles, "So," he begins, lips tugging on one side. "You accepted my invitation to come here after all, and now you got me alone in my cabin." He splayed his arms open to gesture around them. "Whatever shall we do with all the available bunk beds, son of Athena?"

Theo's grin broadens when heat quickly rises up Stiles's face, turning his pale color into a pretty deep red. Theo observes in amusement as Stiles's facial muscles contract. After a brief pause, Stiles narrows his eyes, grinding his teeth. "That's not why I'm here."

Stiles takes out a sheathed knife from the holster around his hips, and Theo shifts in alarm, picturing the accuracy of Stiles's aim. But Stiles only moves forward calmy, unsheathing the hunting knife and extending his hand to offer the weapon to Theo. Dubiously, Theo accepts and looks down to examine it.

Straightaway, Theo notices its lightness, and when he closes his fingers around its handle, he feels a low hum of power concentrating at the point of contact - a small vibration that feels as if the object is communicating with him. Theo brings it closer to run a finger to its shiny bronze blade, double-edged with slight curves and a threatening sharp tip. Unclenching his fingers, he transfers his attention to the silver handle where the engravings are a figure of an owl and the goddess Athena's name in Greek. Theo looks up to Stiles, "This bears marks of Athena."

Stiles nods. "Yes, and quite literally." Stiles unconsciously moves closer to Theo to trace the etchings on the handle. The nearness immediately steals Theo's scrutiny from the object in his hand to Stiles's face. His eyes drop to the boy's lips when Stiles starts explaining. "There is an actual Silver Drachma bound in the handle. My mother used to give these coins to her children, her chosen warriors, before the Second Giant War. As for the blade, it's celestial bronze - it easily disperses a monster's physical form back to Tartarus, but it can't hurt a mortal." Stiles looks up, and Theo meets his brown eyes. This close, he can actually see the little gray specks around the ring of Stiles's eyes - a trait that most children of Athena shares. It's fascinating. "My mother gave it to me as a present for my first quest."

Theo doesn't look away from him, "And you're giving it to me?"

"I'm lending it to you," Stiles corrects. "For your first quest."

They spend a few seconds just staring at each other before Stiles remembers himself and averts his eyes, taking a few steps back and clearing his throat.

Theo straightens, wetting his lips to point out the obvious. "This is a weapon for the children of Athena, though. What use is this to me?"

Stiles nods, rubbing his pink cheeks, choosing to lock his vision on the knife. "It is, first and foremost, a possession of Athena. But it's forged to manifest its power to any demigod who has telekinetic control over any weapon." When his statement meets dead silence, Stiles looks up to find Theo frowning in confusion. He rolls his eyes, "It means it blesses any child of War. Athena, Ares, Minerva, Mars, Bellona."

Slowly, Theo nods, considering it explains why he can feel the weapon's power under his skin. He looks down to the knife again in contemplative silence. Theo recognizes that the gesture is kind, but the timing of Stiles volunteering to come with Theo in his first quest and even lending him a weapon is suspiciously right after the boy knowing about the reason for Theo's wrath on the cyclops half-brother of the Hales.

"This is why I hesitated to tell you about the cyclops," Theo tells him, raising his head. "I don't want your pity."

A hard expression crosses Stiles's face, "This is not pity, Theo." Stiles replies. "This is an apology. For Capture the Flag, for the week of hostility following that, for all that I've said to you."

Theo shrugs casually, "I get it. You only want to protect the cyclops."

"I do," Stiles nods earnestly. "But I'm still sorry."

After another period of wordless communication where Stiles tries to convey his sincerity through an intense look, Theo laughs, dissipating the charged atmosphere. "You never thought you'd say that to a child of Ares, did you?"

Stiles scoffs, his stance relaxing. "Don't get used to it."

Theo grins, closing their distance again with a couple of steps. "So?"

Stiles's eyes shortly flicker down to Theo's lips, swallowing when he says. "So, I'll meet you in Half-Blood Hill with the hellhound in three hours - sunset, when it's safe for shadow-travel. Then, we save a demigod."

Theo's lips twitch playfully, "Are you sure you don't want to stay?"

Stiles's response is to hit him square in the chest with the knife's sheath before marching out of the cabin with a teasing edge to his smile.

~•~

#steo #steo fic #steo ficlet #demigod au #teen wolf #stiles stilinski #theo raeken #fics tag #well i struggled #but i need sleep so i won't read this again till the morning #so for the mistakes you might find i apologize in advance #im not coherent at the moment #demigodseries

[ragingbookdragon]

Forging Paths Final Part

Batsis Story!

A/N: First and foremost, I apologize to the people who follow me because I just spammed the everliving fuck outta y’all and I’m so sorry. Secondly, here’s the last part! -Thorne <3

Set two years after Part 6.

(Y/N)'s body cried as she shoved open her window and dropped inside her apartment. She lay on the floor and groaned when the stinging sensation came back to her shoulder. I really need to get that sewed up. She thought as she began pulling herself off the floor. She hobbled into the bathroom, passing her nightstand and making a mental note to check her answering machine when she was finished. Layer by layer, she peeled off her uniform, which clung to her sweaty skin. Once her body hit the cold air, she moaned in relief. I love L.A., but I also hate L.A. Why the hell did I choose someplace that's 72˚, in the summer, at night? She shook her head and pulled out the first aid kit under her sink and began disinfecting the cut on her shoulder. Carefully, she stitched it back up and cleaned it once more before taking some aspirin and hopping in the shower. Wrapped in her bath towel, (Y/N) moved to her bedroom and walked to the dresser, pulling out some underclothes and a T-shirt. Slipping them on, she toweled her hair as she sat on the edge of her bed and hit the button to the answering machine. The machine spat out the usual: You have one new message, Friday 7:49 P.M. The voice that came out was one she was certainly not expecting.

"Hi (Y/N)? It's me, Selina Kyle. I...uh...Catwoman, if you don't remember." She snorted at Selina's awkward sounding message. "I was just calling to let you know about my engagement...to your father...Bruce." (Y/N)'s eyes went saucer wide and her jaw hit the floor. He's getting married? Big man that dresses in a Bat costume and hides all his emotions? Him? He's getting married? She couldn't believe what she was hearing. Selina's voice continued on the machine. "Look, I know, well actually I don't know, because I wasn't there, but that's not important. Anyway, I know you and your dad don't speak, at all, but I wanted you to know about us and I was hoping that maybe you would come? I know it's a stupid request, but when I tell you that everything you said to him weighs on his heart, I'm not lying. Your dad is weak, (Y/N). He is a weak man who misses his daughter and wants to make things right between you two, even if he's a damn fool who has no clue how to go about it. I know it's asking a lot, but I hope you'll come back for a while. If not, I understand. I wish you all the best in the world (Y/N). Goodbye." The message ended and (Y/N) sat on her bed in bewildered disbelief. There's absolutely no way he wants to see me, not after everything I said, after everything we said. She thought. But the more she thought about it, the more believable Selina's message sounded. She rose off her bed and began pacing around her room. Then, she stopped. Don't do it. She told herself. Don't do it, he doesn't want to see you. She brushed away her thoughts and groaned pulling a small suitcase from her closet and setting it on the bed. Reaching for her phone she dialed a number and waited, the person picking up after a few rings.

"Heyyy, Uncle Oliver. It's (Y/N)." (Y/N) looked at the answering machine once more and peered at it through narrowed eyes. "I'm gonna need a favor...."

If there was one thing she loved about summer in Gotham, it was the fact that it stayed in the mid 40's all night. The cool breeze felt nice on her skin as she drove around the city. Nothing had changed enough to be notice, but the drive was still nostalgic. Passing the high skyscrapers, she drove along the bridge that led to Wayne Enterprises. Parking her bike near the side, she pulled out her grappling gun and shot up to the top. Her hand gripped the top ledge and she pulled herself up and on it, reclining back and staring out into the city. Had you asked her two years ago what she thought of Gotham, you would have gotten the reply, "hell-hole." But looking at it now, she affectionately referred to it as a, "pretty hell-hole" (with a beautiful night-scene). She looked out into the night and watched the subways glide through the station, as night workers filed in to go home. She could see the clock-tower in the distance, a hideaway Barbara stayed in when she was too busy to get to the Batcave. No, she didn't truly hate the city anymore. It was bad memories that tainted it for her. She stayed silent for a few moments before speaking. "How'd you know I was in Gotham?" She glanced over her shoulder and watched as he walked forward. He stopped and sat beside her, removing the cowl before replying.

"I know everyone who comes in and out of my city." She rolled her eyes and huffed a laugh.

"Of course you do." His eyes crinkled just a little and he stared at her.

"Why are you back?" She raised an eyebrow at the question that sounded more like a suspicious accusation.

"Why are you so concerned about it?" He drew back slightly, tripping over his words.

"I...uh...I'm not...I'm not concerned about it. I just...hmm." She looked at him as he stumbled clumsily over his explanation, and her eyebrows drew together in humor. She reached over and nudged his shoulder.

"Relax. I'm just kidding." His mouth formed a small smile and he exhaled. "I heard from a certain Cat that she and a certain Bat were tying the knot." He looked at her, shock evident on his face. Well it's obvious she didn't tell him about her phone call to me. "She mentioned that she wanted me to come. And well, I think you and I need to have a heart-to-heart conversation that doesn't involve us screaming at one another." It was rare for (Y/N) to speak this way to Bruce, but if he really wanted to fix things, she was going to have to take the first step. She opened her mouth to speak when he rose.

"Wait right here for a moment. I'll be right back." He sauntered off, leaving (Y/N) confused.

"Uh, okay. Sure, I'll wait right here."

He returned shortly after with a bottle in one hand and two crystal glasses in another. Her face morphed into shock when she saw the bottle.

"Is that, The Macallan M Whiskey?" He nodded his head a smirk playing his lips, as he poured two glasses.

"Yes, yes it is." He handed her one of the glasses, taking the other himself.

"Dude, you know this shit sells for like 630 G's right? We could make a hella ton of money if we sold it." Bruce started laughing at that, and it shocked her. It had been so long since he'd laughed in front of her that she had forgotten he even could.

"(Y/N) you do remember that I'm a multi-billionaire, right?" Her face morphed into realization as she mumbled a quiet, 'oh yeah, I forgot about that.'

"So why are we drinking super expensive whiskey?" He placed his glass down beside him and he drew his hands together, glancing out into the city.

"When I was fifteen years old, I went exploring into the other parts of the manor I hadn't ever looked in. One of those parts being the cellar where we stored our liquor. I found a letter my father had written and stuck to the bottle." His face dropped and for a split second, (Y/N) thought her father looked so much older than he should have. He cleared his throat and continued. "The letter was addressed to me, telling me that I was to open this bottle when I hit a major accomplishment in my life." He looked at (Y/N) and the sincerity in his gaze made her chest tighten. "I should've opened it the day you were born. In fact, I should've opened it the day you left for L.A." She looked at her lap.

"Why?" He continued to stare at her.

"Because of the woman my daughter grew up to be." Tears blurred (Y/N)'s vision and she felt a hand touch her shoulder. Looking up at him, he wore a heart-wrenching smile, and his eyes were sad. "You were right about it all (Y/N). I never raised you like I should've. I put too much pressure on you setting the bar so high, thinking it would help, that instead of helping, it damaged you. I wasn't there for you like I should've been when you were younger, and if I could go back in time, I would spend every moment of free time I had, taking care of my beautiful baby-girl." (Y/N) brought her hands up to her face and covered it, as muffled sobs came out of her mouth. Taking a risk, Bruce reached out and put his arms around her, pulling her to his chest and placed a hand to the side of her head. His head rested on her shoulder and she felt her jacket begin to go damp. "You were right when you called me a poor excuse for a father. I am so sorry (Y/N), for everything. I'm so sorry I wasn't the father you deserved or needed. I'm sorry I made you resent everything you grew up with. I'm sorry that no matter how much I apologize, it won't ever be enough. Because no words or actions could ever fix what I've broken. I'm so...I'm so-.." His voice cut off as ragged sobs cut through his chest, but he just kept mumbling the words 'I'm so sorry'. (Y/N) wrapped her arms around his middle and buried her face in his shoulder, feeling his arms tighten around her. When was the time dad hugged me? She thought. She couldn't remember, but it was sorely overdue. They stayed that way for a long while, a broken father holding his broken daughter, and cried.

After some time, they eventually pulled away and began wiping their faces. Everything was fine until, "Ugh gross! You snotted all over my shoulder!" (Y/N) took one look at her father pointing to his snot covered shoulder and broke into hysteric laughing; Bruce joining in, but still had a disgusted look on his face. (Y/N)'s stomach hurt she was laughing so hard, and tears rolled down her cheeks, and she let out an airy, 'I'm sorry'. Bruce just waved it off and kept laughing, tears rolling down his cheeks too. After their laughter died down, they wiped their eyes once more, and then picked up their glasses. Bruce opened his mouth to speak, but (Y/N) motioned for him to wait. He nodded at her. She sat up straight and faced him.

"Look, I know a bottle of whiskey and one boo-hoo fest isn't going to repair everything that's happened between us." Bruce looked down into his glass, until a hand gripped his own, causing him to look up at (Y/N), who wore peaceful expression. "But, I'm certainly willing to try." She reached out her glass and looked at him. "What do you say...Dad?" Bruce's eyes began to feel warm, and he reached up and wiped them before moving his glass to hers. He looked at her and clinked it.

"I think that's a fine idea...Daughter." They shared a smile and knocked back their glasses, staring out into city. It was peaceful for a moment before she leaned over and spoke.

"So, just out of curiosity, if I move back to Gotham, can I keep patrolling like I'm living back in L.A.?" She heard a strong grunt beside her.

"No."

"Meh. Thought I'd ask anyway." They both broke into laughter again, pouring each other another glass.

The summer nights in Gotham weren't exactly cold, just enough to wear a jacket for a little warmth. But as (Y/N) and Bruce sat on the ledge of Wayne Enterprises drinking whiskey and cracking jokes,

It was all the warmth they needed.

#batsis imagine #batsis imagines #batfamily x batsis imagine #batfamily x batsis imagines #batfamily imagines #batfamily x reader imagines #batfamily x reader imagine #batfamily #batfamily fanfiction #batfamily fanfic #batfamily fic #bruce wayne #batman #dick grayson #nightwing #jason todd #red hood #tim drake #red robin #damian wayne #robin #dc comics #dc imagine #dc imagines #dc fanfic #dc fanfiction