#and even if it turns out you are allocishet

[questioning-aspec-culture-is]

Questioning aspec culture is am I actually aspec at all, or am I just an allocishet who’s forced their way into queer spaces?

I’ve been feeling more of what I like to call Confusing Man Feeling #1 a lot more recently, and I really can’t tell if it’s attraction. I am unhappy with the idea of feeling attraction, tbh.

Idk what’s wrong with me.

<2

#questioning aspec culture is #ok before i do the rest of the tags just wanna say #anon i promise you that you are not forcing your way into queer spaces #questioning is a valid thing and being in queer spaces are a great way to figure it out #as long as you arent actively like hurting anyone you're not hurting us by existing #and even if it turns out you are allocishet #well at least now you know that and youve explored different aspects of yourself! #okay now back to your regularly scheduled tags #mod amaranth #<- bc i think i went on long enough for that lmao #attraction #lgbtqia+ #queer

[dumbdomb]

Read my pinned post BEFORE you interact: like, reblog, reply, dm, ask, or follow. Must be over eighteen years of age to interact. 18+ only. You do not have my consent to "Like" this post without reading my pinned first. MDNI.

DNI: no/maps, loli, icky kink, "icky" blogs, unspecified "hard" kinks, unspecified "gross" kinks, unspecified "taboo" kinks, unspecified "dark" kinks, ddlg (specifically, doesn't apply to all cgl), older men / younger women, incest, forced fem, detrans kink, misgendering, misogyny, matriarchy, patriarchy, race fetish, fat fetish, feeder, gainer kink, dyke breaking, corrective rape, tradwifery, cucking, infidelity, cheating, hot wife, trophy wife or husband, cucking, pregnancy, alphas, sigmas, femcels, beastiality, zoophilia, allocishet "straight people" kinks and any conservative ideals romanticized or fetishized in kink play or in vanilla romantic and sexual relationships.

allowing me to stay over in your guest room which has, unbeknownst to me, been created into a fully inescapable- yet seemingly safe and normal bedroom. it's true purpose has always been to be the dungeon you'd keep me in so you could prove your loyal devotion to me.

the first night you focus on making sure i'm comfortable and at ease. hidden cameras detail my sleeping schedule and you're prepared for the next phase. we spend some time together during the second day, but mostly you're preparing for something special that evening... at night, once i've fallen asleep, you begin.

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dimly lit monitors power on to display obscenely pornographic content, hidden speakers play binaural and hypnotic audio, and soon i am surrounded by a barrage of subliminal ideas designed to coerce me into becoming more deviant. the moment i stir awake, everything is shut off automatically. i've no idea what is going on, but my head feels fuzzy.

during the day, i seem a bit out of it, but otherwise don't notice anything unusual. like a vacation, i finally begin to relax after a few days. on the fifth night, you continue this nightly programming and increase the volume and lighting just so. when i wake, i catch a glimpse of my surroundings that immediately fall silent and i question whether i saw anything.

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in the morning i notice some of the clothes i don't wear often have been replaced with similar, yet more revealing styles. i angrily question you about going through my belongings and you act so unaware, surprised, and frightened that someone may have broken into your house that i actually believe you. i help you get new locks and install security cameras to watch over all entrances and windows. i ask you to stay in the room with me that night, and you make a bed on the floor next to mine. nothing more happens, a few uneventful days pass...

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i suggest you move back to your own room, feeling silly for being scared, you only continue to build my trust in you by comforting me and making me feel safe. everything will change soon enough, bc while i visit a friend during the day, your plans to move into the third phase begin.

all my clothes are replaced with very revealing styles, except for my usual pajamas that i lay out each day. i don't see you when i get back, but figure you're out or taking a nap. i don't know you've changed anything yet, keeping to my new routines in your home. by the time we usually have dinner together, you join me a bit later than usual. and when i retire to bed, it's all so mundane.

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while i sleep, you turn on the programs. they increase as i squirm in bed, getting louder and more visible. this time, when i wake up, everything stays on as i look around startled and confused. i try to use the remote to turn off the tv, but nothing i do works. i decide to leave the room, scared to stay inside with all the overwhelming perversion around me. when i try to open the door, it's locked. the windows appear to be locked from the outside... i yell out for help, not wanting to believe the situation i'm in, and the obscene volume increases. the more i yell, the louder it gets, until my screams are nearly indistinguishable from the loud moans and cries of pain and pleasure. i go back to bed and cover my head, trying to make it all stop and i somehow manage to fall asleep again.

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in the morning, i wake up like normal. as if it were all just a horribly bad dream. i go take a shower and when i look for something to wear, all my clothes are gone. i'm in a towel, my used pajamas already added to the laundry bin in the other room, and all the clothes i have to wear are not mine. i go to leave the room and the door is locked, just like in my dream. i hear you yell out that breakfast will be ready soon, and i should hurry up so it doesn't get cold. how can you be so normal when something strange is going on here? i find the most "comfortable" outfit i can to make do, and after getting dressed the door is unlocked, like i was never locked in to begin with... i felt so confused and wanted to tell you, but i also felt overcome with shame. was it just my mind playing tricks on me?!? ♡

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NO: lurkers, likes only, inactive, empty, or blank blogs. DO NOT LIKE MY CONTENT. DNI. ♥️

#cnc kidnapping #cnc somno #nsft fantasy #nsft concept #somno fantasy #hypnosis #soft cnc #obsessive love #dumbification #stockholm syndrome #lima syndrome #domb brain

[aplatonic-culture-is]

So, I just found out about the demiplatonic label through one of your posts.

Kinda a long rant here but, I mean, I remember when in middle school I first met a kid and we hung out for a bit, and she seemed cool until she just started announcing me to other people as her friend and... I was just kinda turned off by that? It's not like I disliked her, but I barely knew her. After that being around her felt awkward for some time before we eventually got back to hanging out a bit. But would that make me deniplatonic or was I just put into a weird position? I mean, all of the people I've ever wanted to be friends with are people I've had to hangout with for a few times before I became attached. Crap, I didn't even know aplatonic was apparently a spectrum, the only mention I've seen of one prior to today was a sort of answer to an example question that went along the lines of "I'm not aplatonic but my platonic attraction is exclusive to (xyz)" which the response was along the lines of "Don't even start. If you're going to use a label, use alloplatonic," so I just straight up thought it was an offensive thing towards aplatonic people to suggest.

You very well could be demiplatonic, it's up to you and how you decide to identify :)

And it's not offensive at all, aplatonic is a broad label and similar to other aspec identities, is absolutely a spectrum and is soley determined by the user of the label for themselves. Those who only experience platonic attraction to certain genders are absolutely apl-spec (if they so choose to use this label) and nobody else gets to make that call.

Additionally, those who actually support aplatonic individuals would not try to draw all these rigid lines around us. Much like with other queer labels, we will have complicated and varying experiences with the same concept, and identify ourselves with labels in a way that make sense to us.

On that note, this blog supports m-spec monos, gaybians, straightbians and turihets, lesboys and turigirls, and other queer identities which are often deemed controversial. Being queer has never been about these rigid lines that are enforced by other people. I would trust an allocishet who is trying their best to be an ally (and sometimes gets it wrong) way more than another queer person that decides to police the labels of other queer people for the sake of purity or whatever they want to call it.

#aplatonic #aplspec #aspec #not aplatonic culture

[redhairandpronouns]

need yall to realize that gender essentialism is terf juice. INCLUDING "all men bad". there is no way you can modify that statement or "add nuance" to it that will like. fix it. "oh only cis men" ok what about intersex men? bigender/multigender men? genderfluid men? all of these people can identify as cis and if you're going for non-queer genders congrats you've failed. "only non-queer men then" you're telling me the elderly black guy i passed at the supermarket is secretly a bad person? what about my brother who will literally give hugs to strangers on the street if they need one, and is the most bubbly lil guy i know? and how are you going to tell if someone is or isn't queer. yall know some queer people are able to pass as fully allocishet if they want right. for safety if nothing else. what if a trans woman is in the closet? or a queer man? are they evil until/unless they come out?

you're ALSO often insinuating "all women good" even if you don't say that part out loud. do i even need to say why this is bullshit. and dividing things essentially between "masculinity bad" and "femininity good" is literally terf sentiment. trans women are bad because of their "connection to masculinity". trans men are abandoning the Good Pure Femininity to join the Evil Bad Masculinity, surely they're being indoctrinated this can't be by choice. butch/masculine women are evil too for being masculine. feminine men are the Bad Gender and are appropriating the Good Gender.

like "all men bad" is the first step into the slippery slide of terfhood. there's no such thing as "all" or "nothing" in any group of anything anyway. gender has no effect on someone's like. morality.

do we live in a patriarchy? yes. is that bad? yes. have you watched the barbie movie. a matriarchy isn't really better. the issue is not The Men the issue is Sexism. turning it around won't cure everything

[immortalsapphics]

uhhhhhhhh so weird conversations happened at my summer job which turned into someone asking everyone in the group directly and individually if they’re queer and i answered honestly (”i’m a lesbian”) and it made me think a lot about what being out means

i have been, in theory, out to the world for years, but it’s not like you flip a switch and you’re out, you have to keep on coming out over and over again, probably for the rest of your life, because being allocishet is still the norm and everything else has to be specified or incorrectly assumed. i’ve even tried to come out universally before, through an insta story or something, but there will always be people who don’t know, and who you have to keep telling, and honestly it’s exhausting. i don’t want to let people make false assumptions, but as long as being allocishet is the norm, there’s nothing i can do about it

i have figured out what i do among friends, i just find some way to casually mention a girl once we become slightly closer so that it’s clear, but i also don’t know if that’s even necessary, or if it should be. but it’s completely different in other places, because my personal ideal would be to correct people when they assume that i’m straight and it becomes clear in something they say, but it’s much more difficult in practice, because the fear is still there, even if it’s accompanied by confidence in myself and my sexuality.

on the other hand, we also have the issue that i know that if i turn out to be the only queer person somewhere, i’ll end up being used as a sort of spokesperson for all lgbtqia+ people, which i neither can or should do, let alone want that role thrust upon me.

another point is that i have this idea that coming out is too much, unnecessary, “nobody even wants to know that” (only directed at myself), even when someone asks me directly. i don’t know if it’s based off of my far too quick coming outs as a younger teen, or if it’s something else entirely, but that notion has been going through my head all day, as it did the last time i did something similar

i wish i could write a conclusion here, but i can’t, because i still haven’t reached one myself. all i can say for sure is that life as a queer person is complicated, even “post” coming out (if you can even ever be done coming out), and it isn’t a monolith. out life looks different for everyone, and there are still difficult decisions to be made along the way

#idk i'm having thoughts #edith has thoughts about things #lgbtqia #lgbtqia+ #lgbtq #lgbtq+ #lesbian #wlw #sapphic #coming out #out life #queer #queer community

[aroaceconfessions]

Cw: discussions of homophobia

I was having a listen night over discord messages with two of my friends, and we’re all aroace. I will say that I’m more neutral than them, like I’m in a romantic relationship (t4t, somewhat a man with a trans man) and all that.

Anyways, I hit an ad so they have to pause and wait for me, and I casually joke “that’s so homophobic of Spotify”. One of them says in return “[name] none of us are gay”

I am INCREDIBLY baffled, like. Wdym none of us are gay???? Did something happen?? We all have the same identity?? When did we become allocishet??? Who’s going to tell my bf that lol?? I even thought they were joking at first and then it turned out they were serious. They were like “oh it’s aphobic” and ofc we were still joking around and then moved on to talking about Bojack horseman.

For more context, I’m from a conservative state and both these friends are from pretty liberal/accepting states. So while I use gay/queer/homophobic as an umbrella term, my friends . Kinda don’t, like the labels are very important and the people in their states know the labels better. In my town, the bigots just hate everyone. If you’re not straight or anything you’re the enemy and they let you know. I guess up in my friends states they have backstabbing ally’s where they accept some parts of the community but not others (?).

Idk what the moral is, I don’t really have one. I’m not mad at my friend at all I just felt. So confused and ostracized at that and it’s just a reminder that most of my friends won’t really ever know my experience and how isolating it is. Like I call myself gay because it’s basically a class identity, it’s how everyone else down here will treat me. My greatest ally is a professor at my college that uses the term transvestite (and I would kill for her she’s amazing just so y’all know) Idk. Idk !! I just needed a place to vent cause I don’t wanna make my friends upset when this is really just a whole cultural/regional differences thing and they did nothing wrong.

#aromantic #asexual #aroace #aspec #aro #ace #arospec #acespec #arose #homophobia #invalidation #dating #relationships #transphobia #transgender #trans #enby #nb #nonbinary #non-binary #non binary

[otdderamin]

How Spoiler Alert and Bros Challenge Romance Movie Norms

Spoilers for Spoiler Alert (2022) and Bros (2022)

Thinking about how the romanticized cultural narrative we have about love is that two people meet, some spark connects them, and once they have the courage to let themselves be together, everything is just good forever.

And obviously that's bullshit or there wouldn't be so many breakups and divorces. But we rarely write stories about those. We want our stories to live in the limerence of new relationships where anything seems possible before the complexity of reality sets in.

The audience for allocishet normative media has very strict and often formulaic expectations for romance films. Guy meets girl, they fall in love, all obstacles are overcome through the power of love, and they live happily ever after. That audience really only supports that story.

Queer media comes from a vastly different and more complex tradition of romance. There is almost always a backdrop of the world trying to intervene. Even Big Eden (2000) in all its softness had this. There's a much greater love of messy relationships. There are no guarantees.

Bros flouted the heteronormative love story formula by being about two guys with commitment issues who often project their fears on each other and are sometimes even right. Bobby and Aaron have ideas about what they need to prove in life to show they're fulfilled & can't see past that.

It's a complicated journey to figuring out if they even want to be together. If all the baggage they're carrying can fit with them. And the end, parodying Hallmark endings, is simply an attempt, and not an answer. No pressure that it has to last forever.

Spoiler Alert is about a 13 year relationship that was an audience know from the begging will end in loss. The first act is short. They find each other, they connect, sometimes it's weird and awkward but they know very quickly they want to be together.

It's the middle that makes it profound. Where we flash forward and see the relationship after more than a decade. The complacency, the repeated mistakes, the hurt they've caused each other. Wondering if things have run their course.

And then the illness. The realization that they may not get to choose the end. That under the calcification of little built up resentments are all the reasons they still loved each other. Letting go is also no longer getting in your own way.

There was a realness to that. Things weren't just magically fixed. In many ways it's not sentimental. It's built on all the small moments that make you understand that you are alive in three constant presence of someone else because they've overall made your life better.

Both these films are about love without certainty that doesn't have to last forever to mean everything in its time. They are so deeply, inherently queer beyond being about gay men. They're about deeper realities in relationships normativity pushes aside but we need to talk about.

Either one of these films coming out this year would have been a good year in queer cinema. Both together—the spectrum of romcom and sentimental tragedy—are a landmark distillation of the last century of our media culture. I think both will join the canon of must see queer films.

Before I got into queer media, I would have told you I hated romance movies (even when I thought I was allocishet). If always felt forced worth nothing new to say. Turns out it's because allocishet media is culturally invested in saying nothing new about relationships and love.

But queer media inherently is about love that challenges norms. Love that has to be meaningful enough to risk loss for it. Love that's truely freeing instead of conforming to stale expectations. And so the stories we get to tell are far more interesting and real.

#Spoiler Alert #spoiler alert movie #Bros movie #Romance Movies #Queer Media #Queer Film

[transmogrified-in-the-void]

I've been going through a very interesting, and important gender and gender presentation journey over the past four months, which culminated into a comment that has been bothering me for a while.

Since about mid-September, I've been slowly gaining a lot of self-confidence for various reasons, and I've also been looking at the parts of myself that I've hidden underground inside my mind for a long while. Including my own feelings about my own femininity.

For those who have known me for a while, you'll know I've always been more masculine leaning in presentation and gender. As it turns out, I sort of pendulum swing across the entire spectrum.

Me and the friend who's been by my side this entire journey (who, funnily enough, is the only allocishet friend I have), had this inside joke with each other that if I showed up to a meeting with the gang in a skirt they wouldn't know what to do. And so we eventually got me a skirt.

I can't begin to describe the amount of pure bliss I felt when I saw myself in it. I'd only felt that feeling once before, when my dad put one of his old ties on me for a fun little game we were playing in 2020. The only difference was that when that happened, I was still in denial about who I was. When I looked in the mirror, it was something I couldn't even begin to grasp onto. When I looked into the mirror just barely two weeks ago, I finally saw me.

And so we ended up making a whole "scene girl" outfit for me. This was revealed in almost its entirety a few days later, and we were right. They really didn't know what to do with me. With the exception of my mom and one of my oldest friends (who both said I looked cute, and I did! I felt cute!), the actual group I hang around with didn't know how to react to it. One of my friends just ignored the whole thing like it was normal (hurtful, but it's whatever), another kept asking when it happened and trying to wrap his head around the change (funny), and one eventually ended up saying something that's been bothering me.

Initially, they were really surprised I had legs because he forgot that I did. But later, when we were talking about a character that me and the aforementioned friend had made for a sitcom (a transman who dresses femininely for the most part), he turned to me and said "so like you, a transmasc drag queen".

While yes, that fits that character fairly well, it didn't sit right when about me. Because no, as it turns out, I'm not a transmasc drag queen. I'm not really . . . anything. When I dress more masculine, it's queer because it borders on tomboy/butch and transmasc (which, I know those terms can coexist, but I'm using it as a scale of masculinity because I can't explain it any other way), and when I dress femininely it's also queer because I'm someone who inherently goes towards androgyny/masculinity as my comfort expression.

Here's the funny part, though. Of the four people I hang around, three are queer in some way. The only one, the only one, who saw that I'm fine with fluidity in pronouns, jokes about my gender, and just sort of knew from the beginning that I was suppressing my femininity (which he told me after the Skirt Moment, so that was a fun night), was allocishet. I could get into all the weird shit that has gone on with me and the group, but the least queer person in the group understood, almost immediately, that I, the most verbally and visually queer of the group, enjoy funny little gender jokes. Hell, a few days after meeting I was doing something in my friend's kitchen and he said "oh sorry I was raised in a republican household, if there's someone in the kitchen I assume it's a woman".

So I guess what I'm saying, right now, is that I'm not any particular gender identity, I'm not trans anything, I don't really enjoy the fit of genderqueer even, I just. Am. And I wish that people irl would be willing to have fun with that more, rather than being so fucking afraid that I'm going to have a breakdown and kill someone for misgendering me.

#also this is like. really small. #but that allocishet friend didn't know my pronouns for the first week knowing me and when i wasnt there was she/her-ing me #and everyone would just. death glare him??? and not correct him??? #like he was supposed to know??? #one whole week of it happening!!! and he had to go and ask because they wouldnt tell him!!! like what!!! #its just. so weird that my friends are so protective of my identity in places that i dont give a fuck??? #meanwhile one of their moms is protective of me because. and i quote. 'payton will give up things for others that they care about at their #own detriment' like that is the second most accurate reading of me anyone has given #idk i could get into the small shit that this group does #like how i used to talk about being in a constant state of disassociation and it was just 'eyyyy cool! me too sometimes!!' #or how i make a joke that im constantly touch starved and they still dont even really want me to hug them or anything???? #idk small shit like that #or paytonisms #but i love them #so yeah. heres this ig ;-; #p bangs the keys

[twinkuraba]

TBH if you only ‘allow’ gender non-conformity (in both presentation and physical body) for obviously queer people and attack allocishet people for being/wanting to be gnc but not queer, or even ‘down low’/’passing’ queer people (with the implication that being gnc is only ‘acceptable’ for someone sufficiently, outwardly queer), you’re not only turning being gnc into another ‘tell’ bigots can use to identify queer people, you’re actively contributing to a culture where questioning/unsure people can’t experiment with their presentation or desired physical bodies without being attacked and pressured to come out before they’re ready.

Like. Being gnc would be safer and more accessible for everyone if it’s normalised for allocishet people too, genuinely, casually in everyday life, without the expectation that they’re actually secretly queer and going to ‘come out’ later.

And honestly, how do people expect to normalize that there is no set standard for what is a ‘[binary gender]’s look/body’ if you don’t even let allocishets try?

Are they going to be perfect at it first go? No, that’s an unreasonable standard to hold anyone to.

Are they probably going to use imperfect language and phrasing while they’re figuring their shit out? Probably, but who hasn’t been ignorant about gender and identity stuff once upon a time?

I know as queer folk we feel this need to hoard what’s ‘ours’ to our chests protectively lest it be taken away from us, commercialized and watered down into something more mainstream and palatable when it isn’t used as a target for bigotry or to prey on us but;

To be honest, IMO that sort of gatekeeping turns being gnc from actual non-conformity into a third prong of the binary alongside ‘men look like this and women look like this’- queer people look like this.

#umbral discourses

[bop-culture-is]

things that are queerphobic besides blatantly hating queer people

i keep seeing a bunch of (queerphobic) allocishet people say they’re not queerphobic because they “don’t hate queer people.” but they are. i made a list, in good spirits, maybe just to help allies become better allies or educate queerphobic people.

- saying “what a waste” or “you’re too pretty to be gay” when someone of a different sex says they’re queer.

- using “gay” as an insult

- saying the “A” in LGBTQIA+ is for “ally” and disregarding what it actually stands for

- asking for straight pride

- using slurs, even if you “aren’t using it in a derogatory way.” it’s always derogatory; that’s why it’s a slur. the f slur, specifically, has a messed up origin.

- saying it’s a phase, or that someone will “grow out of it.” 

- saying you “disagree” with homosexuality. you can’t disagree with someone’s existence

- playing devil’s advocate or saying that religious people have an excuse to be queerphobic

- assuming that everyone in a same-sex relationship is gay/lesbian, and everyone in a different-sex relationship is straight

- using “virgin” as an insult is actually really insensitive to acespec people! (and arospec, if you specifically target them, too)

- straight people assuming every queer person is going to hit on them or is out to get them

- “you don’t look gay”

- “so who’s the man/woman in the relationship?” 

- oversexualizing/turning queer people into a fetish or saying it’s “inappropriate for children”

- “keep it to yourself” when a person mentions that they have a same-sex partner

- saying you think queer people deserve FEWER rights than anyone else. this will never not be homophobic

i feel like a lot of these are very obviously queerphobic, but allo-cishet people just can’t seem to realize it, so it must be said.

if you have any more, feel free to add on! (there are probably some i forgot)

#lgbtq #lesbian #gay #bisexual #transgender #trans #queer #asexual #queerphobia #homophobia #aromantic #omnisexual #pansexual #polysexual #not bop culture #psa #non-binary

[caspianthegeek]

Something's been turning over in my head over the last few days about Good Omens and queer representation. I keep seeing calls for it to be more explicit, that it's not good enough, that Neil of all people is fearful of making it absolutely queer.

None of this is true. The fact that it's been embraced by marginalized people who state "this is like me" should be all that's needed for others who it does not represent to back down and respect that. It's not their lane to declare what is representation for someone else.

And Neil, of all people, gives no fucks for what others think in regards to adding queer characters to media and has been doing so for a very long time.

What got to me though was what does explicit look like. A first time coming out story? That's not what Good Omens is. These are adults, let them simply exist in a queer way. Talking to each other about it? Why? Aziraphale and Crowley don't need to explain anything to each other. They both know the other loves them in every way fathomable to the pair, and what else matters? They literally stopped Armageddon and risked everything just to be together. Human gender perceptions that change every few hundred years? Crowley will take all the genders and do as he wants with them, knowing that it's so very temporary.

And that led me to being queer to those outside your inner circle, and it was an oh moment for me. Do you... do you think that they should be loudly out? There's nothing wrong with being loudly out of course. The people who have the privilege to be out do so much good in the world simply by existing and many of them do far more than that.

As someone who is out in every way that matters to me though: It's completely exhausting.

Even getting people to gender me correctly is an uphill battle that sometimes I choose to fight and sometimes I realize "I am going to see this person one time in my life, and I am tired." I have absolutely corrected CEOs that earn more than I will ever earn in my life because they have the ability to elicit change if pushed. It's important and I choose that battle. I don't ask the clerk at the store to gender me correctly. I just thank them and go about my day.

I did a fic on this topic for the first Our Side Zine, but coming out is a process that never ends and takes an ongoing mental toll.

And it was so delightful to see characters on screen who were allowed to simply be. Not to need to defend who they are or who they love beyond the obvious Heaven/Hell struggles. It's a shining moment of rest. And the reminder that you, too, can just exist. You don't need to constantly label yourself or explain yourself. And it's okay if you haven't found a label (or never do).

It is one reason why this representation is so important. One explanation as to why so many of us are upset when we see people dismissing it. I don't think it's any accident that many of the people I see defending Good Omens as sufficient queer rep are older LGBTQIA+ people who have dealt with the exhaustion of existing for so long. Who have learned when to fight their battles and to delight in those who know us for who we are.

It is nothing new, but it does break my heart to see us now needing to fight within our own community yet again to assert that we are enough.

I hope that the people stating Good Omens should be more explicit have their hearts in the right place. I also need them to know that they're doing real harm to actual queer people. That I've spent the last month consoling those who are hurt and needing to be consoled in return at times.

I need the people who think that Good Omens is not enough to really consider if this is the battle they want to fight, knowing that they're littering the battlefield with injured LGBTQIA+ people. You're not insulting the allocishets. They don't care, they've never cared. None of us should concern ourselves with them, because ultimately their opinion doesn't matter. There's enough in the world about them, this is ours.

Or was it never about the nonbinary, ace, and aro communities at all? Was it about seeing what you wanted in media and being upset that some of us got this piece of representation?

What I understand least of all in this is coming into someone else's house and declaring it not sufficient to fit your needs. Not everything is about you. That's okay. It doesn't need to be. Maybe look within yourself to find a piece of happiness for the absolute joy that some others within the queer community have found rather than trying to tear it from them.

#good omens #asexuality #nonbinary

[jasper-pagan-witch]

Unpopular Opinion: Half, if not more, of pagans are just as toxic as Catholics/Christians.

Many pagans claim to be so severely oppressed and use that to rewrite history, or create "history" with no historical evidence to back them up.

They also use their identity as a pagan to hate on organized religion without realizing that organized religion isn't reserved to the big three (Christianity, Judaism, Islam).

Going further, many pagans use similar tactics Christians use to manipulate, guilt trip and shame witches who identify with those big three religions.

THIS THIS THIS!

They even forget that some of the "big three" they're fighting with aren't even that big.

Judaism accounts for a little over 15 million people worldwide (2020 estimate, source: Jewish Virtual Library) which sounds like a lot until you realize that that's only about 0.19% of all people worldwide (2020 estimate at 7,795,000,000 people, source: Wikipedia).

Sure, Islam is the second-largest religion worldwide, but you know what the first one is? CHRISTIANITY, which has about a third of the world's population following some strain of it or another.

Usually, the problem pagans have with "organized religion" is just a problem they have with Christianity and they've deluded themselves into thinking that Islam and Judaism are just Christianity minus the Jesus.

Or they want to appropriate Lilith and turn her into a girlboss sexy dominatrix night goddess and are upset when Jewish people point out that 1: she's only ever found in Jewish sources, any "connection" to Sumerian or Babylonian culture is maybe a few words and things believed to be statues of her have been debunked, 2: she ain't even CANON to Judaism, she's from a later midrash which is an exploration of a canonical Jewish text, and 3: if she really was a Sumerian or Babylonian deity, surely we would have found proper record of that and they wouldn't have to keep doubling down on using the very midrash that they claimed "misconstrued" her which is still our only source for her existence. (Source: Rabbit's tired explanations on @will-o-the-witch, check out xer Lilith tag here where zhe's shouted herself hoarse about this topic. [Double side note, I hope you enjoy the pronouns here, Rabbit.])

And yes, a lot of the tactics I've seen pagans online use are the same ones I've seen Christians in my area use.

But I do have to say one little piece of disagreement, in that there are places in the world where it is legimitately dangerous to be a pagan. I speak as someone from rural Missouri, which is a terrible place to be if you're not Christian, if you're queer, if you're a person of color, if you're disabled, if you're neurodivergent or mentally ill, or even if you need an abortion. Our laws here suck and if you go even slightly against the white allocishet neurotypical able-bodied Christian man-based status quo (yes, that's a lot of keywords), then you're in danger. People will look the other way if something bad happens to you, which is why I have to hide most of what or who I am here. And I don't doubt that there are other places (even in the United States) which are similarly dangerous.

So yeah, for the most part, pagans online aren't as oppressed as they think they are, "organized religion" isn't your enemy, your real enemy is misinformation/disinformation and historical revisionist campaigns, and there are places where it's legit dangerous to go against the status quo but Tumblr is not one of those places.

~Jasper

#spicy spicy hot takes here; thank you anon for opening the door for me to talk about this! #answered #anonymous #religion #paganism #christianity #judaism #islam #discussion

[vsvilevanities]

"An Increasing number of gen-Zrs are turning away from god"

Well now don't quote me on this but Im pretty sure that that might just because us gen Zers are raised on the internet, and the internet gives us a way to put words to our feelings. And it just so happens those feelings just happen to be exactly the type of thing that gets sooo many members to speak against us. To cause so many members to keep on insisting we are in the wrong because of who we are are. Are we in the wrong here? Are they? gosh I sure hope so. If you just keep telling us to stay within the allocishet normative with your only explanation being that god says we should, I don't think you should be upset when people leave from feelings of not belonging. I just hope to find out one day, why this is such a norm? Is it because of homophobia of even our leaders? Is ot because our father wants us to have the easiest path to the 1st degree of glory in the celestial kingdom? If so, is there still a long, hard path I can go down to overcome the limits of such a restriction that even god cant seem to find a way around to help? I hope so.

#ldsconf

[bubbelpop2]

Gay and Tumblr etiquette: a guide

This is a compilation of rules that keep the lgbt community a safe space for all. A lot of the older gays are getting sick of seeing recycled bigotry, and we’re here to tell you what the general opinions are in the real world. Some of the content in this post contains not necessarily gay content, but cay culture. Gay culture is all about the lack of heteronormative toxicity, the promotion of critical thinking, teaching the youth that they need to rely on themselves and friends instead of the government, because the government doesn’t really care, and the abolition of White Christian ethics being forced onto people.

You need to read this essay. [x] You need to know your history. It’s important, you need to know it. This is the baseline you need to know. ACAB.

If you want to know more than just the baseline: [ here ]

Don’t debate transphobes, racists, or n@zis. Don’t debate them, block them. Do not reply. You are giving them a place to express themselves. This emboldens closeted racists and transphobes. Don’t do it.

If you disagree with someone who isn’t any of the above, carefully consider their argument. Could they be right? Is it a lesson that you’re just not ready for? Block them, ponder their words, and consider your stance on the subject. Only a fool walks away from an argument more convinced than ever that they are correct.

Pedophiles are not in the lgbt community. Pedophilia is not a kink nor is it a sexuality. It has been proven to be a mental illness in which the brain is shaped and ordered incorrectly. 

“Queer” Is not an inherently harmful term. It is a term that the community has reclaimed, and many people identify as queer. By calling someone who is queer “gay” or policing THEIR right to be called queer, you are erasing history. Queer is a term that people have used in the lgbt community since before stonewall. Queer isn’t your term to take away, especially if you’re not queer. 

“Gay” Is an umbrella term. If someone LIKES being called “gay”, no matter what the complex rules of their attraction are, respect it. Don’t insist that they belong in a certain box according to your definition of different sexualities. 

If someone is questioning their sexuality, don’t push them. The point is for them to FIND OUT what they’re attracted to, and what they like best. Whether they turn out to be gay, straight, bi, or ace, leave them the hell alone. Especially if they’re a kid.

“Terfs” used to be called “political lesbians” because people who were not wlw would take over lgbt spaces and advocate to “kill all men” and would point actual wlws against men. This is terrible. Bisexual wlws deserve to express their sexuality fully without judgement. Trans lesbians deserve to express their gender without judgement. ANYBODY who is amab or trans, or attracted to amab or trans people, deserves a safe place to express themselves. We got rid of these “political lesbians” and stopped them from poisoning the minds of bisexuals and trans men. We can do it again. 

(” queer is a slur “ was started by terfs. stop saying it if you’re not a terf.)

Nonbinary is not a fad. Nonbinary people have always existed. It is not new, and you are not allowed to police other people’s gender.

There are a lot of things to gender as a whole. Your gender, what you identify as, is a large part of your identity. Some people identify as female, some people identify as male, and some people identify as neither, both, or any combination of any other genders! This may be confusing, but that’s okay. You don’t need to completely understand someone’s gender, and someone may not even understand their own! What IS important is that you respect their gender expression.

Gender expression is mostly just two things. Pronouns, and Presentation. Pronouns (He/She/They/Xhey/Ect) are for the person who has them. Pronouns don’t have to “match” your gender. Your presentation doesn’t have to “match” your gender, either. It’s all about your comfort. You don’t have to understand someone’s gender identity, but you DO have to respect their name and pronouns. Always.

Mogai is a great term, even if it’s not popular. Mogai is an all-inclusive term for all people who are not allocishet.

Being ace does not make you straight. Being aro does not make you straight. Straight = You are actively and wholly attracted to the opposite gender. It is the lack of attraction to the opposite gender that includes them in the community, as well as the constant harassment from both straight and gay people for being “broken”

“Femboy” Is not an inherently harmful term. Calling a trans woman a “Femboy” without her permission is. People who use the term to refer to themselves, or to refer to people who are comfortable with the term, are not infringing upon anybody. You need to stop taking away terms from gay people because of what transphobic pieces of shit do. Yes, shitty transphobes refer to trans women in porn as femboys. This doesn’t mean that who the term was ORIGINALLY meant for, which is, gay feminine men, can’t use it to describe themselves. This is far too similar to “queer is a slur” for me to change my mind on this. A lot of people identify as femboys, and use the term for their comfort, leave them alone.

Truscum and Trumeds are gross. Their entire personality is built off of policing other trans people’s identities. They want trans people to act like they’re cis, and conform to heteronormative societal standards. Their opinion is that it’s flamboyant trans people’s fault that cis people are transphobic. Which is simply not true. Transphobes are Transphobes because they’re bigots. It is never, in any shape or form, the fault of the oppressed for being oppressed. Ever.

Your love for the oppressed should come before your hatred of the oppressor. This does not mean that you expressing your hatred is “performative” in any way. You’re allowed to hate the oppressor, verbally, and often, so long as you, personally, know which is more important.

It is not okay to call people out. Calmly talking to people, or simply blocking them, is best. It is not okay to send hate anons. It is not okay to interact with bigots willingly. It is not okay to do something that is mean-spirited.

Be gay do crimes. (As in, fuck the police, they’ve always been against every minority. Including us.)

Disabled people are beautiful and loved. All gay spaces should be accessible.

The people that lead the protest that sparked lgbt rights across the world were black trans women. Remember that. Remember it good and well. 

Autism isn’t shameful. People with autism are worthy of respect and admiration.

Punk culture is antifa and gay culture. Bigots like punk fashion, and dress in punk fashion. We call these people “posers” and they should be beaten if spotted being a bigot at a punk function. Punk culture is all about being against the systemic oppression of the lower class and marginalized. Many punks go to protests for human rights and better work qualities. 

It is neve okay to police someone else’s identity. Period. 

It is never okay to police someone’s kinks. Pay attention to actual abusers and rapists, not fictional and 100% consensual scenarios.

Child touchers get their heads bashed in with baseball bats.

It’s not okay to bully people for shipping anything. Yes, anything, including abusive ships. Quit telling people to kill themselves over fictional people. What you SHOULD be worried about, is straight white boys who romanticize REAL abuse towards REAL people, not people just minding their own business and expressing themselves via FICTIONAL characters. Don’t tackle ships, tackle rape culture in real life. Go outside. 

It is never okay to police someone’s writing, art, or artistic expression. Yes, dark and violent content included. The idea that you can be punished for thoughts or expression of thoughts, regardless of if you’ve ACTUALLY harmed anyone, is white and Christian purity culture. If you think this is okay, read this: [x]

The above is in the same mindset of soccer moms that say “people who play video games are inherently violent” which is simply not true at all. Here’s an interesting post on a similar topic that will interest you: [x]

Just follow lace code. Doc martens have a lace code in the punk community, If you’re not a racist, follow the lace code. 

mosh pit etiquette [x]

more about gay punk: [x]

That’s all I could think of for now! Any other queer elders wanna have a stab at it?

#queer #queer culture #old queer culture #witch #old lgbt culture #lgbt #shut up bubbz

[jules-hoard-of-stuff]

You know, I've been thinking a lot about the phrase, "representation is not a pie chart" for the lgbtq community in the media, and you know what?

What if it is because the bigoted allocishets have a whole pie store, and there's ads everywhere for how pie is the best food and all other foods suck. and whenever we ask for anything else to eat, they tell us to starve. And when we say why,, they tell us our taste is gross and we have to make it ourselves, because who wants to eat anything but pie anyways?

So we make our own bakery and it turns out, a lot of people don't like pie. A ton of people love pie, but discover a love for other things, too. Some people frequent both stores. But all of us are pulling away from the garbage bin out back of the pie store because now we have some food that isn't shit.

And now the pie shop is wondering where their "crowds" went(who were really just crowds of starving people without proper food) and blame the bakery that serves everything, and tries to get it shut down. They put up more signs for pies. They start shoving pie in people's faces.

Do you see how stupid that sounds to force pie on everyone? It's just pie. There are other desserts, breads, savory baked goods. Some people don't even like breads and such, and they eat other things. There's a world of food out there, and pie is starting to taste pretty damn bland.

That's what representation is like. I don't wanna eat pie anymore, i don't want to see straight white cis male leading roles anymore. Give me the spice, give me the flavor, give me the seasoning, give me some goddamn flour that isn't painted white, that isn't purified.

Idk what I'm going on about but I want media that represent the tastes of everyone. Not just the 'norm.'

#ramblings

[akhmenos]

Hot Fucking Take

Queer does not mean not-cishet. Seriously - it doesn’t. It means Other.

It means Other in a way that cannot be easily defined, but an Other that denies and destroys heteronormative gender binaries.

Queer means that you are at risk of queerphobic violence. It means that you, somehow, break the norms that our society places on us based off of what it thinks your genitals are.

What this means is that a allocishet guy in a dress? He is, on some level, queering gender. He is - a little bit, not greatly - queer.

Why do I say this? Because

A) trying to rigidly define the lines of what counts for our community and what doesn’t is what we are fighting against. We are the people who society decided didn’t belong in their community. We should not turn around and slam the door behind us.

B) How many trans women start as “curious cishet guys”? Thinking that you’re cishet but just A Little Different is almost always the first step to figuring out that you ain’t cishet. If we insist that someone has to be the Right Kind of Other before we let them in the Queer club, we will lose so many people before they can even join.

Queer people are whoever is the target of queerphobic violence, which means they need us. Who are we to say no?