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invisiblegarters · 8 months

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Only Friends Character Ramblings and Relationship Rankings - Ep 9

Last week, Ray was out there doing the most (to piss both me and Sand off), Mew thought the best way to get over Top was to live out Tove Lo's "Habits (Stay High)" and it wasn't working out for anyone, Nick was trying to get back into Boston's good graces and Boston was having absolutely NONE of it despite the fact that he very definitely misses him, and Cheum got lines for once and boy howdy, did people have a lot to say about it.

I had a really hard time with this one, because for the first time - whether because I am just so happy the stupid RayMew thing is finally over or because they gave me a break from my angst and anxiety, or because I just chilled out finally - I am liking everyone in this bar. So instead of ranking them from most to least favorite, I'm just gonna ramble on about them as I think of things to say.

Character Ramblings:

Boston. Look, Boston did nothing wrong at all this ep, he was just out living his life. It's not his fault his dick is apparently magic. He made zero fucking promises to anyone at all, and I'm getting kind of sick of everyone out here slut shaming him. Fuck that, and fuck them. There is nothing wrong with living your best promiscuous life, okay, so long as you're up front about it and use protection. And while we can't know if Boston does the latter since it's never brought up, he is the only character who has so much as mentioned it so I'm going to assume so unless told otherwise.

Also I was really impressed with Neo's acting this ep. I'm impressed all the time, but I really liked the subtle changes that came over his face the more Nick talked in that this is my final goodbye scene. Like the way he fights so much of it and tries to act so aloof and done with the whole thing but then every time his eyes find Nick's face...it was so good. And okay, I know it wasn't supposed to be funny but him just being like "peace" to his hookup was hilarious to me. I really don't want some tragic backstory for Boston and I don't want him to do a 180 on his entire life, but I think it's been clear for a while that he needed to hear a lot of what Nick said.

I just love this dude, okay? No apologies, no justifications. Just 💖

Rock on, Boston.

Sand. Yeah, I know what people think of him. Whatever. I am just gonna respectfully disagree with the lot of you. I don't necessarily agree with his choices, but I can't say that he's not making them with his eyes wide open. And honestly I don't read him as being unable to walk away from Ray. I read him as simply not wanting to. That's his decision. It's an active choice he's making. I wish people would fucking let him have it.

I also find it kind of hilarious that he's so okay with helping Ray cheat on Mew, even if he makes a whole point about how fucked up it is. Sand, you hypocritical little shit. Finally you get to be messy again - I've been waiting for it to pop up since episode six. And yeah, that's about as far as it goes. Let me be utterly frank here: this man could go out and start kicking puppies and I would love him regardless. I can see where he goes wrong, but if you expect me to vilify him for it you might want to settle down with some food and drink, because you're gonna be hanging out a while.

Still think he really needs someone comforting him for once. Do not think that will happen. Am sad about it.

Mew. I'm so glad to see rational Mew return. I hope that he's a little less quick to judge now, but I missed the direct guy we saw in that last conversation with Ray. I liked that guy, and I was happy to get him back. I think that we'll see some changes in him, and that's okay - it's good even. Being young is all about figuring out who you are and what you're into, shaping yourself towards the kind of person you want to be. I can't tell you how many different personas I stuck on at Mew's age. But one of his core traits did always seem to be a frankness that has been missing - or worse, not missing but deliberately aimed to try and hurt. I appreciated the reflection he clearly had this episode. I always knew he'd boomerang back though. Whatever people say, I knew he was too steady at heart not to.

I'm eager to see what this hybrid Mew will be like. I don't want to say that it was good for him to have what happened happen, because no one deserves it, but I do think that we're going to see a looser, less rigid version of Mew, and that part is good, actually.

Top. I've liked him for a while, and the trend continues. He got a little pushy this ep, but nowhere near as pushy as certain others I could name, and if I am not planning on acting like they are beyond the pale for it (and for the record I'm not) then I won't do it to him ether. I'm also not buying that he's been fucking his ex, either. Not until the show tells me. I made that mistake last week with thinking Ray and Mew were gonna bone down this episode and then I was wrong, and anyway I want to believe in Top. So I am going to continue to do that.

Atom, Daddy (I keep wanting to say Dapper here and that's not it, guys) Dan, and Boeing. Welp. Was wrong about Daddy Dan but not about Atom - I knew that boy was gonna get clingy. I have a feeling he's going to be a real problem. I am both nervous and excited to see what he does next, and how it will ripple outward. As for Dan, we'll see. I just foresee bad things coming of sleeping with the boss, even if he is as cute as Papang. And Boeing...I am so ready for him to come in and mess things up. I want Jojo to make good on his promise and for that man to be kissing errbody. I especially want a flashback to a threesome with him, Sand, and Top if he is indeed the ex (and I have no reason to believe otherwise, it makes the most sense to have Boeing pulling double duty rather than have him be only there to mess with Mew and Top). l almost wonder if he isn't really there to mess with the Mew and Top dynamic quite as much as we think since they're putting such an emphasis on him doing so and I have well-earned Trailer Trust Issues.

Nick. Oh, Nick. Nicholas. Nikeroni. The love junkie. I swear I was so mad at him when he kept encouraging Sand in his pursuit of all things Ray at the beginning of the ep, but I guess one stalker recognizes another, because literally nothing he said about Ray was wrong. And I have to admit that his little speech to Boston was actually really sweet, even if he had to be himself and literally follow Boston and a hookup to the toilet to give it. I was also amused that he was the one who introduced "Daddy" into his dynamic with Bossman Dan, and yet Sand had to explain to him what masochism was. I am proud of him for trying to move on but question the wisdom of doing so with his literal boss. He did say he'd be willing to lick his ass, I guess.

Cheum. She's back to being Miss Barely Appearing in the Show, but I enjoyed her relief to get Mew acting like himself again. I actually believe that she really cares about Mew and has his best interests at heart, and that she was worried about him. Did she handle it the best way? Not at all, but I understand the impulse. I don't think that Mew had to apologize to her but I like that she at least seems resolved now to let him make his own damn choices.

Yo. The woman's love life might be a mess, but she speaks sense and apparently she was also happy to fill Mew's ear with exactly just how far gone his totally real and not a farce boyfriend he swears was for someone else. Not that Mew wasn't picking up on it anyway, but it gives me a kick to think about the two of them talking about it. Why? Because I imagine she basically told him that the fact he didn't give two shits proved her point about his own damn feelings.

Ray. I know I said I wasn't doing this in order but I did leave him for last deliberately, because I think I'm gonna have the most to say about him. It feels like he's been in the back of my head nonstop for the last two weeks, in fact, so prepare yourself for a long fucking essay of me trying to work out my own feelings about him. Also I'm gonna stick in a keep reading cut here because I am going to touch on self harm and possibly suicide. Also not all my thoughts about Ray are pretty or entirely sympathetic and are very probably also incoherent. I'm not apologizing for that but if it's not something you want to read it might be a good idea to stop now.

It should be no surprise that I have had a hard time with this dude. I have talked about it. I find him largely unlikeable, and I will maintain until I'm blue in the face that I am supposed to find him unlikable, and I think that it's only because of Khaotung that I never really crossed over into loathing. Before you start, no I don't mean because Khaotung is pretty (although he is) or because I have a bias (although I do), but because he's an excellent actor, and ninety percent of the time you can see beneath whatever selfish shit Ray's pulling to the desperation that drives most of his actions - the clawing need to be loved, to be wanted, and the constant compulsion to keep moving, to live in the here and now, right now, and not think either beyond or before the very second he's in at the very time he's in it, because to think of the past hurts too much and the future is unfathomable.

The other ten percent is pure twenty two year old rich asshole though. Which is - well, not fine exactly, but understandable. All these guys are twenty some year old assholes. That's normal.

The hard part is reconciling these two things, I think. Both because of my personal experiences with people like Ray (both the asshole and the addict, joy), and because there is a temptation to either ignore the addiction to vilify him or use it as an excuse for literally every shitty stunt he pulls. Does his addiction exacerbate the other issues he has in his life? Yes. Does it explain a lot of his more volatile behavior? Also yes. Does it give him free license to do and say whatever he wants with zero repercussions, or give a good reason to shift the blame onto the people he regularly mistreats because he can't help himself and they should help him more? That'll be a hearty fucking no from me.

Addiction is very, very hard to deal with, both for the people experiencing it and for the people around them who can see a person they care for destroying themselves and generally can't do much about it, because ultimately the addict is the one who has to decide to make a change. And one thing I respect about this show is that it isn't shying away from the difficulties and realities of Ray's situation, both for him and for his friends. I know that people are very frustrated with his friends for not helping him and for basically being checked out, but to me it just hurts because I've seen that. I've seen that from people decades older than these guys. I'm not trying to excuse them, either - honestly, I fully agree with @thewayuarent in their post where they say that if they can't deal, stepping away fully is in fact the best answer (and that there is no shame in having to do so) - but I do understand it. It's not pretty to watch when we all know that Ray is suffering and pretty much aiming not to reach his next birthday, but I have definitely seen this sort of thing go down in reality, and everyone's threshold is different. I think it's very possible we're going to see even Sand, with his apparently unlimited well of patience for Ray, struggle and possibly break in the coming episodes.

If Ray does intend to take this rehab thing seriously - personally, I do not think he will (at least at first), mostly because he is not (yet) doing it for himself, he's doing it for Sand and possibly for Mew even though he very obviously still does not think he needs it or has a problem (or, to be a little more accurate, he might suspect he has a problem but he's refusing to acknowledge it. Also, just as an aside, I am very curious about his bargaining chip to Sand regarding rehab - Ray's asked repeatedly about Sand's dad and I am very curious as to why he's so invested in this. My guess is it has to do with his own issues around his parents but I do hope the show gives us some insight because there's something about it that isn't sitting right with me)) - I do hope that we see his friends take steps to help him. Because while it is ultimately on him to get better, there are things that they can do to help. They won't know these things instinctively, but I'd like to see them take this as seriously as they want him to (my personal belief is that Mew and Sand will, but I can't be entirely sure. Mew cares about Ray, okay, you'll never convince me otherwise, he's just...up until recently he reminded me of one of those people in my life who does not struggle with depression asking me why I can't just stop being sad. Yeah. That's Mew. It just doesn't compute in his head because it's not a problem he personally faces and he doesn't necessarily mean to be dismissive but he is dismissive because again, it's not a struggle he is familiar with. In his brain, it's as simple as putting the bottle/drugs down. I'm really hoping his spiral makes him more understanding of Ray's issues but there is also a real danger that he will be worse about them because he stopped so easily. I am leaning more towards him being kind and making more of an effort to understand rather than condemn. Not to mention Sand makes and sells illegal hooch and that's uh, gonna be a problem. You can feel it, right? Because I can feel it).

I got a little sidetracked, but all this was to say that I've been really hard on Ray, harder than a lot of people. So much so that I've been accused of being a Ray hater, lol. And I do find it kind of hilarious that these last two episodes have been what have induced me to be kinder to him, when a lot of others are increasingly losing their patience with his whole deal. For the record, I don't see a problem with disliking or even hating Ray (or any character) any more than I see a problem with adoring him - people have their own reasons for it and I can hardly throw stones when at least a quarter of my ire at him was because he is such an epic SHIT to Sand, who is MY ride or die just leave him be unless you're offering him the hug he so desperately needs baby blorbo. He's going to continue to be an ass to him I'm sure, I just now have reasonable hope Sand's gonna give it back in spades (more on this later) so I've calmed down on that a bit, lol.

I feel like a weird person, because the worse Ray gets the more I see the self-destruction in it. It's his casual dismissal of other people's feelings and lack of care that gets to me and makes me want to throttle him, not his big rants (except the whore comments which I still haven't forgiven although Sand apparently has because he's a better person than me). His big rants, however, have the air of someone who is trying to get himself hurt. He wants Mew to tell him that Top is a thousand percent better than he is and that Ray can never measure up, wants Sand so mad that he knocks him to the floor, wants them to lash out and return cruelty for cruelty, because it will prove what Ray has always suspected (known) deep down: he is unlovable. Eventually, he will become too much and people will become tired of his shit and bail. And if they won't? If they stay over and over and over again? He'll find a way to make them. I still maintain that part of his whole deal with Mew was that Mew gave him what he wanted, the kind of love he thought he deserved: you can come this close and no farther, because you are Too Much and you are Not Good Enough. The fact that Mew didn't intend to do that hardly mattered - it was a way for Ray to reinforce his own beliefs about himself and as much as it hurt there's a sort of satisfaction in it, too.

Like, I am not smart enough to explain this right but it's self-harm. It's not done in the way people associate with self-harm but that's what it is. Ray self-sabotages because there's a sort of vicious, sick satisfaction in confirming that this thing that he's always believed about himself is true - he is an unlovable burden who will eventually drive any and everyone who has the bad luck of caring about him away. And it also lets him continue along his path of addiction because 1 - it's fine if he destroys himself because he's such a pain that no one cares anyway and they might even be better off if he does and 2 - alcohol makes it not matter as much.

Ray wants to be loved. Ray will also make sure that it is near impossible to do so because in a strange way it makes him feel better and because if he admits that if he can be then he has to change his whole way of thinking about himself - and about why his mom treated him the way she did.

So yeah. Episode 8 did the thing. It finally made me recognize patterns I've seen before and I was just like yeowch.

And it's hard for me to articulate about episode 9, because there was still that element in some of Ray's interactions, but I think it also showed us the opposite side, too - a Ray who is actually capable of communicating beyond simply reacting in the moment. We've seen this before with both Mew and Sand, but never quite to the extent we saw in this ep. I am not one who believes that we've ever seen an entirely sober Ray, but I do think the show has done a good job of giving us shades of what that man might look like.

Unfortunately, I think it's gonna take us until episode 12 to get there, if we do. Because while I do think that we might see a sober Ray before then, I also think he's gonna be a lot nastier than even the Ray we were given in episode 8 (disclaimer that I am not saying that I believe that sober Ray is nasty, I am saying that the Ray who will be dealing with stuff he has been burying beneath booze and drugs for a long time on top of withdrawal is very likely to lash out - if he even gets that far. It's entirely possible the whole thing falls apart before it even starts). I could be wrong. I'd like to be wrong, because I am also very worried that the person who is gonna bear the brunt of it is Sand and as we've established I adore Sand beyond all reason (and I'm not saying Sand might not earn a measure of it - I'd like it if he did actually earn it, as opposed to Ray just attacking him disproportionately to whatever crime he thinks he's committed, you know?).

I don't think he's hit that proverbial rock bottom. I've said before that Ray also frustrates me because he somehow manages to skirt any real consequences for his actions. Even his car accident was pretty papered over, and his near arrest was taken care of by Top and literally all Ray could do was sneer that his dad would have taken care of it. It gets to me, but here's the thing: I can also feel something coming for him. I could be wrong, but right now I can hear that train whistle in the distance, can feel the vibrations as it draws closer, and I worry that it's going to be really bad. I don't think it'll be death - I actually believe Jojo that no one is dying although I could have egg on my face by the end - but not dying doesn't mean that someone (my biggest fear is Sand but it could be anyone up to and including Ray himself) isn't going to get seriously hurt.

I hope I'm wrong. We've only got three episodes left and I really want an upward trajectory from Ray especially out of this show - I know Jojo is capable of realistic bleakness (3 Will Be Free), but I really hope we're not going there with this show. I don't think we are. But there's still that niggling fear that we might be. Second season or not (ugh, sorry but ugh), I really really want ep 12 to end on a decent note for him. I'm not asking for him to be a new man, I'm only asking for a little hope that he's on his way to healing.

If you've actually gotten this far without bailing, we're returning to our regularly scheduled programming now. Promise.

Relationships (Most to Least Fave atm)

Nick & Sand. I just love these two. They are my favorite relationship in the show and I want more scenes with them. Everything from them bonding over their love for men who don't love them back to their attempted hookup and then giggle was just pitch perfect this ep. I would honestly watch an entire episode of the Sand and Nick show, if not more. I love how they support each other but I am so curious what Nick has been telling Sand about Boston because wow, does Sand hate his guts. I mean it could just boil down to the fight in the apartment but he also likes to bring up how shitty Boston treats Nick so who the hell knows. But yeah, they click and I love it.

Mew & Ray. What? They were good this ep, and I really hope that we see more of a genuine, loving friendship spring between them now that Ray's not constantly trying for more and Mew doesn't have to watch everything he says or does with him lest Ray decide it means Mew is interested in a romantic relationship. I also liked the fight between them (even if I wasn't a fan of some of the Nice Guyish things coming out of Ray's mouth) because it marks the first time we've seen Ray do that with him. Look. I am not saying that I like watching Ray go off on Mew for the supreme sin of not wanting his dick. What I am saying is that the fact that he could go off on him at all is a marked change from how he has been treating him since episode 1. Mew is not the idol Ray wants him to be, and I really hope we see him treating him less like some savior who's going to reach down and pluck Ray out of the depths of his despair and more like a real friend. And I'm hoping that Ray doing that will let Mew be able to care for him the way he clearly does without worrying that his love will be taken the wrong way. Basically I'm just really here for their friendship era without all the extra. Also would like to say that Book and Khaotung's acting in that last scene with them really struck me - both of them are more relaxed, the stars are completely out of Ray's eyes and you can visibly see the moment when it clicks for Mew that the "I love you" Ray is giving him now is finally the kind he can reciprocate freely and fully. I just love it.

TopMew. My endgame prediction, and I ship it a lot. I think we all knew that we'd get to where this episode left us eventually - Mew was hurt and humiliated but at some point I just realized he was gonna try again. Whether it works out, I dunno (although I said they are my endgame prediction), but in the same way that Ray owed it to himself to try with Mew and Sand owes it to himself to try with Ray, Mew owes it to himself to see if he can move past what happened with Boston. I think it'll be interesting to watch - we'll see what Boeing throws into the mix but even without him it would be interesting, because Mew's gonna be twice as guarded and extremely gun shy. I can't pretend I'm not looking forward to where this is going, whether it winds up being back together, something open-ended, or a book firmly closed.

BostonNIck. My favorite disaster couple. I have shipped this from the very start because I'm like that you can't stop me, and I continue to ship it even though more and more I think it will go nowhere. That's okay I don't need it to, and in fact I think that their fundamental differences on love and sex would doom them even if they did try. I just want to see how they're going to navigate whatever is going on with them now. Are we gonna see Boston being flat footed and trying to get Nick's attention (like it's hard, lol)? Will they just sort of wind up talking and both pretend that everything else never happened? Will they form an actual friendship? I think I'd like to see that.

SandRay. Welp I said that their dynamic was close to what I like but not enough, and this episode tipped the scales. I'm never gonna be a die hard shipper and frankly I believe these two are doomed to break (although I am back on my hope that they will manage to salvage a friendship out of it train, so that's nice), but that music room scene not only hit a very specific button for me, it smashed the damn thing down hard. Also the cheek kiss. That whole scene actually was shot a very very specific way to convey a very very specific mood and I'm kind of in love with it and how very different it is when you compare it to the scene in ep 2. I am very curious to see how Ray acts with Sand now. Very curious. Also, I just used very so many times that it no longer feels like a word.

I also think that this might be Sand's relationship to break. I kinda hope so. It would at least get us out of the cycle of Ray screwing things up constantly and then running back to Sand to patch things up. Also, admittedly a tiny part of me just wants to see Ray in shambles over Sand for once. The heart wants what it wants, and all that.

I am also very curious to see if Boeing is going to wind up screwing with their dynamic in some way. I know he's busy causing friction with Mew and Top according to next episode's preview, but I don't trust those things and there's also no reason the man can't pull double duty. Maybe even triple duty. I believe in him.

NickDaddyDan. Never getting over Nick being the one to introduce that dynamic. And while I approve of his trying to move on from Boston, I do not necessarily think doing so with the boss is the best overall move. See, here's my thing. I will put up with a lot, but the second you screw with my money you've lost me. Not only no but hell no, and fucking the boss is a one way ticket to making that happen. Because chances are good that as soon as that relationship goes sour, so then does the job. Just a whole world of nope for me. And this feels like it will inevitably happen. How does this reconcile with my love of shows like Jun & Jun, The Director Who Buys Me Dinner, The New Employee, etc? Simple. In all of those the genre I was watching basically guaranteed that wouldn't be part of the equation. Although in The New Employee it sort of was, since Seung Hyun was absolutely not hired to get at Jong Chan. It's one of the things that I praised Step By Step for actually - the fact that it was Pat who suffered for what both he and Jeng were doing. Because in real life, the boss rarely gets it in the teeth when this kind of thing is found out. Not to mention what can happen if you break up with a boss prone to retaliation. And Only Friends definitely leans more towards reality than most. So I expect to wince a few times here.

I don't know if I think that Dan is prone to petty retaliation. He seems sweet, if awkward. But the worry is there. We'll see how it goes.

#only friends #only friends the series #rankings #well sort of #mostly me rambling #a lot

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25shadesoffebruary · 11 months

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it’s not that deep

Fandom: only friends

Couple: TopBoston

Rating: Mature

Notes: that first line has to do with a thought Boston had about a threesome between himself, Top and Nick and if Nick would be offended if he brought Top into their little sex situation-ship. (But I was too lazy to write that part but just so you know that’s what it’s about.) it’s a snippet.

Boston wonders if Nick would be okay with that, then thinks, why the fuck should he care?

Nick wasn’t anything. He and Nick shared nothing. He could find another pretty face curly-hair big eyed pink lipped sweet smelling man in the next club over.

But Top, Top was another story.

It wasn’t that he was in love with Top because he wasn’t. He couldn’t be. He’s not entirely sure he has the chemical his brain is supposed to produce to give him that feeling.

But he feels something when he’s with Top. And that something- the rushing of his pulse, the tingling under his skin, the repeating thoughts of Top Top Top and kiss kiss kiss and swallow him devour him consume him runs in his head anytime they’re alone- has to mean something.

Sometimes even when they’re among other people, those thoughts are at the forefront of his mind.

Lately, these thoughts scream at him when he sees Top kissing Mew. He looks at those two in their love bubble. Faces close together, bodies even closer than that. It makes his skin hot, his stomach turns over, he feels bile in his throat, and it burns.

He can’t look at them for too long. He’s barely been able to look at Mew since he saw how stupidly devoted Top is to Mew. He still can’t believe it. Top in a relationship? Him? Of all people? And with Mew.

Don’t get him wrong, his best friend is great. He loves him dearly.

It was just that- they didn’t fit.

One of the main reasons Boston chose Top to flirt with and loosen up with Mew was because he knew they were the opposite. That their type of love language, Mew’s type, was far from what Top was. He figured they would kiss. Mew would finally get laid. Mew would thank him for being the best friend ever, and done. They were never to see each other again.

Boston never expected this. He never predicted they would like each other. Yet alone, desire to be with one another. As a couple? Mew and Top? It didn’t make sense. They didn’t fit.

Mew belongs to someone like Ray. To someone who will put the effort into making time for him. Being able to show him the emotions that he knows Top lacks simply doesn’t have it in him to fully put on display for Mew.

The only emotion he’s ever shown Boston was lust.

And Top,

Top belongs to someone like Boston.

Boston didn’t need any emotions to be shown or talked about. He needs a willing body and a guy with a tongue that makes him see stars.

And Top had both qualities.

A body that Boston likes to run his hands over constantly. Shoulders and a muscle-ridden back that was made for Boston to dig his nails into as Top fucked him into the mattress.

A wicked tongue that made him see stars. And it didn’t even have to be wrapped around his dick. Being kissed by him made him see the stars, moons, and comets.

Like now, Boston snatches the phone out of Top’s hand the second he ends the FaceTime call with Mew. He throws the phone behind him, barely hearing where it lands before he’s crowding Top against the door.

Top frowns and says, “My phone.”

Boston smiles and says, “You can afford to buy another one.”’ then slots their lips together.

And it feels.

It feels.

Feels,

He feels.

The feeling lingers. It lingers between the shedding of clothes. Between being fingering fucked open. The lube dripped onto the hardwood kitchen floors. It expands in pulsating waves throughout Boston’s body when Top finally slides inside. He fucks him hard and fast against the dining table Mew and Ray helped him build.

He fucks him against the wall where a painting that Mew picked out hangs next to his head.

Fucks him long and deep on top of his bed, hand holding down his head and the picture of his friends ( of mew smiling at him) in his eyesight.

He blinks, frowns, and almost asks Top to stop, but then Top blocks his view of the picture. And all Boston can see is a shade of brown worth drowning in. Top is pulling his hair and lifting his face toward his lips. He closes his eyes. All he can feel is pleasure. The pleasure of Top kissing him.

All he can feel is Top and himself and the pleasure they give each other.

He feels every inch of Top when he does this. It makes the tingling under his skin feel like blue fire. It makes him feel like he is burning alive. Boston thinks the only reason he hasn’t exhausted himself to ashes is because Top keeps providing him with oxygen.

He keeps the fire within him growing and glowing stronger and stronger each time he kisses him, fucks him, and makes time for him.

And Boston never got it before why people stayed in relationships that weren’t mutually beneficial or why cheaters never just left their partners before they cheated. Or why people stayed even though they got cheated on. It never really made sense to him. He was a strong advocate for putting yourself first and fuck everybody else.

But he realizes now, or maybe he knew long ago before Mew and Top were ever a thing, that chasing that high of being wanted was addicting.

And he’s not saying he’s addicted to Top, but Boston doesn’t see how he could ever give this up.

#only friends #only friends the series #TopBoston #BostonTop #I wrote this for two reasons 1. I needed more content that related to Boston and top #and 2 I’m writing for every couple at some point it’s not a a boat but a cruise ship of couples

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ecoamerica · 2 months

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elevatormusic · 8 months

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my first reactions with zero context: only friends ep 9

immediately i thought mew was nick

is that ringing on the show or my ears??

oh show thank god

i imagine you don’t remember shit my guy

okay i understand mew being in his boxers but top? why were you cleaning in your boxers lmao

i never liked them together in the first place so this isn’t anymore fun to watch

no you’re not lol

must’ve stood up too fast. sir i think a grandpa could get up faster then you did😭

maybe get out of the pool tho

school again that’s right they go to school

does nobody else use this room except for sand? the only musician here

why’d he swing the door open like that

man i love angry sand so much

i know ray isn’t acting like this? fucking apologize properly for fucks sake

oh we know

man fuck your feelings

sarcastic king

you don’t like it? sand probably doesn’t like feeling like shit all the time because of you but okay

yes punch him

they are so close to each other. i hope they brushed their teeth before this

oh shit oh damn okay well that’s uh yeah well way more close

but weird that y’all are doing this in public in a glass room

back with the recordings boy these dudes are so annoying recording ppl without consent

but also top?? acting like mew is gonna care that ray is making out with sand?? mans does not have feelings for him. we all know this including you. he looks so dumb💀

back at the red room i’ve missed you

yeah you need practice you can’t fuck everyone before taking their pictures

okay but the red room does not do well for the visuals of the actual actors. it’s kinda hurting my eyes

bi rep bi rep bi rep

okay that seems uncomfortable

atom seems like the obsessive type. i could be wrong but that’s the vibes i’m getting from him

look at them going on a little camping retreat to swear off boys

yeah.

nick said them bitches ain’t never gonna last lmaoo

who just wooed like that and why

you lying piece of shit

*sigh* this dude again

i’m sure he’ll find some way to accuse ray of making him go out again

are we still doing this? when do they break up?

love his shirt

you’re such a liar😭

you’re not even one of the people he loves lol

ew no please someone stop this i beg

kinda yeah

break up break up break up

is that considered a break up?

why are you watching that

dude stop acting like his boyfriend. you were just with yours

sand my king

did you just try to have sex with one dude and get rejected so now you’re going to the one you keep traumatizing?

oh nick you bitch how could you post where y’all were

at least sand knows

dude?? you know he’s like that what??

oh damn yeah actually i’m on boston’s side today besties

why are they talking about pixar😭

nick stop lmao

don’t you’re gonna have to move out

say sike

oh they actually are doing it

oh good lmao but good for them for trying it

first collecting another one

no my guy i don’t think friends actually do that

is that not like invasion of privacy? why is he allowed to just show him where they are?

he also just walked right up in there??

it would be the first time

nick said wait no i’ll save this relationship

also i’m so sorry but did they really look like they were hooking up to him lmao

oh i think you care

are all three of them really gonna fit on that bed?

sir.

sand about to commit a double homicide

THE MOMS

i’m sorry i’m so bored with them imma have to skip

where did nick go lol did they push him off? and how the fuck did ray get on that side of sand

he’s a good wing man at least

why are they just sitting in water

bitch we know

are y’all still sleeping together tho?

you can’t have two important people when they both don’t want that

that guilty ass look

you notice he didn’t say he likes mew too just that he’s important to him

beautiful *chefs kiss* no notes

that’s the look of “oh shit i might actually lose this guy”

oh is he gonna tell him?

or not

oh god no hate that

no not like a father my guy

ooh right in front of ton’s salad

in front of the guy he’s fucking’s salad

hah he is a bad guy tho

lol he done fucked up

none

the latter. i’m being so mean to ray today😭

mans is planning their lives out together

orince ass lol

i’m honestly so confused. is ray still planning on staying with mew or not??

we know you’re whipped for each other

interesting tho. that implies he never felt this way towards mew as he does sand

thank god we’re doing this

crying at him saying everyone knows. like yes dude you’re so obvious

me too

does this mean ray will stop being toxic to sand finally

yeah but the difference is sand will call him out on his shit

is this really happening? beautiful lol

#morgan reacts to things #only friends

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tomboy-writer · 3 years

Text

Prompt: Chris Evans story where your boyfriend is a cheating douche-bag. He cheats on you time and time again and you get into a bit of a depression. You confide in your best friend, Chris Evans. His consoling leads to sex, the sex soon turns into a regular thing and you get happy again. Your boyfriend sees your change and promises that he will never cheat again and that he will treat you better. You’re happy but sad at the same time because now you have to break things off with Chris. But Chris won’t have it; he says that you should stay with him and not your boyfriend. You’re not sure of which decision to make, so Chris lists off reasons why you would be better off with him.

Chris Evans x black!reader

A/N: my first Chris Evans story!! Let me know what you guys think of it.

A/N 2: I started this story a few years ago and it took me a long time to finish cause I was on a very long writing hiatus and didn't finish this until earlier this year, so some of the story goes off of what the summary says and I decided to turn this into 2 parts (could be more, depending on how long the 2nd part is). So no smut in this part, just angst and dumb jokes. This also originally wasn't going to be a black reader story, but seeing how my ACTUAL 1st Chris Evans story went pretty well (the Game On story) I decided to make it another one cause I love it.

C/W: angst, swearing, my dumb jokes, 3rd person story (it hurt my brain to write it this way, but I wanted to try something different)

“He did it again, Chris! Michael cheated on me with some big titted chick,” Y/N said as she sobbed into her best friend’s shoulder.

Chris rubbed his friend’s back, trying to calm her down. He knew how to handle situations like these since Y/N went through so many of them with her boyfriend. Chris thought her relationship with Michael was like a broken record: always repeating itself. It was good at first with the couple being so obviously in love, but that changed six months later when Michael decided that Y/N wasn’t enough and started to cheat on her with multiple women. Y/N had been given advice by Chris countless times about guys like Michael and she listened to him, she really did. But she always ended up forgiving her unfaithful boyfriend and enjoyed the makeup sex that Michael would give her after.

“He and that big titted chick can both go to hell for all I care,” Chris replied. Then he lifted his friend’s head from his shoulder and made her look directly in his eyes. “Hey hon,” he said using his ‘friendly’ nickname for Y/N. “I think it’s about time you dropped that lame ass zero and got yourself a hero.”

“Okay, Captain America,” Y/N chuckled while wiping her face.

Chris laughed too, but deep down he was really hoping that Y/N would actually consider dating him. They met seven years ago and became fast friends. But the bearded actor didn’t count on falling for Y/N a few years later when he was doing an interview for one of his new movies and Y/N was there to help support him and make sure his anxiety didn’t get the best of him. While in the middle of the interview, Chris started to feel a little fidgety, so he tugged on his ear; a sign that told Y/N that he needed her help. She was standing right behind the cameraman, so Y/N could see everything that Chris was doing. She saw the signal and started to make some weird faces for her best friend.

Y/N made Chris and the interviewer crack up that day, especially when she stood right behind the cameraman and started to bulge her eyes out at him, making him laugh as well. At that moment, Chris realized that he had found that special someone. That special someone that he wants to spend the rest of his life with and just keep forever, never let go.

Y/N was sweet, considerate and loved Disney movies and dogs as much as he did. So he felt that she was just perfect for him. He even started to mentally kick his ass for taking so long to realize this.

The interviewer asked Chris one last question before he had to leave.

“So, Chris, is there a special lady in your life? Ya know, besides your mother and sisters,” she asked.

Chris chuckled and looked right in Y/N’s direction with a bright smile on his face. “Well, I don’t have anyone yet,” the blonde answered, his eyes never leaving Y/N’s, “but I’m looking for her.”

“Chris? Chris, did you hear me,” Y/N asked suddenly, stopping Chris from remembering the day he fell for her.

Evans shook his head no. “Sorry, I zoned out for a few seconds.”

Y/N rolled her eyes. “I said I would love to find a new boyfriend, but I’m still in love with Michael.” Chris rolled his eyes this time. “Don’t do that, man. I can’t help that these are my feelings for him.”

“But what are your feelings for him right now! Aren’t you sad? Pissed? Or feeling like you just wanna punch that douche-bag in the face so hard that his face caves in a little bit?”

Chris’s friend nodded her head yes and started to sob again. He felt bad for making Y/N cry; he would never want to make her tears fall from her eyes unless they were tears of joy. He grabbed Y/N and embraced her for a few minutes until she was calm again. Once was she was, Chris pulled away from Y/N enough to look her in her eyes.

“Hey, promise me that you’ll forget about that douche for at least two weeks and just try to find someone better. Okay?” Chris begged with sincerity in his eyes.

“Okay,” I promise,” Y/N complied.

Chris kissed Y/N’s head and, after saying goodbye, left his friend’s house for the night.

* * *

Chris returned to Y/N’s house a few weeks later. He rung the doorbell and heard a faint ‘it’s open’. Evans opened and closed the door behind him and blushed at the sight in front of him: there stood Y/N, wearing only a pair of boy shorts and an over sized t-shirt, no makeup. That’s when Chris thought, no knew, that Y/N was the most beautiful woman out there.

"Hi Chris," Y/N greeted her best friend with a warm hug and a kiss on his cheek. Evans couldn't help the blush that crept onto his face. He also couldn't help but to imagine if he and Y/N were together and he'd come home from being on set all day long, her greeting him the same way she was now except that she'd try to pull back a little to ask him about his day. But Chris would hold his lover in a tight embrace, kiss her so lovingly, so passionately, and ask about her day instead.

Yeah, Christopher Robert [Jamal] Evans would love that.

"Hey, Y/N," Chris replied as he breathed in the embrace. "How've you been lately?"

"A little bit better; not fully okay, but I'm getting there I think," Y/N answered.

Chris shook his head in disbelief. He knew when his best friend was lying to him. "Y/N," he whispered, "I can see in your eyes that you're hurting more than letting on. You sure you're doing fine?"

Y/N's smile was quickly replaced with a small frown. "I'm doin' fine, Evans," she answered, mocking Chris's Boston accent. "And, before you ask, yes I have went on a few dates with other guys; three to be exact. First guy wouldn't shut up about his ex-wife; like I was supposed to be his therapist or something. Second guy -this gorgeous dreadhead- we connected and shit, but he too wouldn't stop talking about his ex and his table manners were terrible." You rolled your eyes before finishing your list. "Last but not least, I went on date with Mr. I-Got-Tons-of-Money-Baby. We didn't connect at all and I'm sure it was cause of his cocky attitude and the way he talked down to people -it was disgusting! " The dateless woman flounced into her big living room and plopped down onto her L-shaped sofa. "Trying to find a new man is pointless, Chris. Either I start dating women cause why the fuck not!? Or I just give up on love all together."

Chris chuckled but then nervously cleared his throat after he came up with a great -but what he also thought was a heart attack inducing- idea. "Y/N," he stammered.

"Yeah, man?"

"If the whole thing with you dating females doesn't work out, but you still want to try to find love, then I know exactly who you should date next."

Y/N gave Chris a questionable look. He didn't say anything back, just raised an eyebrow and grinned mischievously. It took Y/N a few seconds to understand what Chris was talking about. But once she did, her mouth went into an O shape, showing her shock and surprise.

"Are you serious, Evans," Y/N exclaimed; eyes now wide as golf balls. "You wanna date me!?!"

The actor chuckled. He didn't think that his friend would be so shocked by his words. "I've been wanting to date you basically almost ever since we first met, Y/N. I just- -I just never knew what to say to you about it, or if you felt the same way or not and if you didn't then I didn't want to ruin our friendship, or if you did feel the dame way but then something bad happens to us down the road and then that messes with up our friendship and then there's the thing with paparazzi..." Chris was rambling on and on but Y/N was listening to everything he was saying. Hanging onto every word that was coming out of her best friend's mouth.

Y/N had never known that Chris had felt this way about her. It wasn't that she was completely oblivious (well, maybe a little), but she also never saw any signs of her friend being in love with her. Wait. Was Chris in love with Y/N? As far as she knew -or as far as she thought from what she was told so far- this was just a crush. A crush confession that apparently was a long time coming. She wondered how she felt for Chris; did she have the same feelings for him like he did for her? When they first met, all Y/N cared about was how Chris acted as a person, not as Captain America or as an actor in general. But as Chris Evans, an everyday man. Y/N knew, after that one day of meeting Evans, that she wanted to be best friends with the man, nothing more and nothing less. But now, with Chris' confession and continuous ramblings, Y/N was having different and a little bit confusing thoughts.

Sure Chris Evans is an very attractive man, physically speaking. But Y/N doesn't care about looks -much- when it comes to dating or anything for that matter. She thinks what makes people attractive is their personality more than anything, and she knows Chris has the best personality she's ever seen from a person. But she wasn't sure if she was ready to date him or anyone else for that matter. Although, if Y/N was going to date more, then Chris would probably be her number one pick.

"So, what do you say, Y/N," Chris asked, hopeful.

______________________________________________________________

And that's the end of part 1, everyone. Part 2 will be posted....probably next week or so. It is currently one of my WIPs so I'm definitely working on it.

But what do ya'll think will happen next? What will Y/N's answer to Chris be? Will she say yes, or will she say no? Who knows??? Except for me; I know. Also, you're Y/N; Y/N is you, so you better hope that you say something positive back :P Anyways, I hope you all enjoyed this! Thanks for reading!!

#chris evans #chris evans imagine #chris evans smut #angst #black writing #black reader #chris evans x black!reader #friends to lovers #chris evans fanfiction #christopher robert jamal evans

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georgiapeach30513 · 2 years

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Oh my god I am so in love with this new Bucky direction! Don’t get me wrong, I love Sarah Wilson, but she deserves someone who can fully commit to her and that’s not Bucky. Now, does Bucky move Brooklyn and Joshua to Boston? Or does he travel to New York to see them? Do they meet his extended, crazy family? I need to know more!

I LOVE these two and their little Joshie, you have NO idea. Sarah deserves the world! Her and Bucky were almost in a comfortable and not moving forward place before Brooklyn came back in the picture, so when she AND Joshua came in, it was hard. Bucky loves Sarah, he loves AJ and Cas, and that's never going to change. But he couldn't fully commit because of his Brooklyn girl. The one that got away. Brooklyn for now is going to live with Sarah, but she won't stay there, and neither will Sarah. Kitten loves when people find their true love, so she is going to take to Brooklyn really quickly, and Kitten and Sarah will have a sweet relationship as well. So with that being said, yes, Brooklyn and Joshua will meet the extended family.

🖤🖤🖤🖤

I'll Be Back

Summary: the next morning

Pairings: Bucky Barnes X Reader

Rating: angst

Warnings: none, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 1.4

Desperate Lives AU Masterlist

Bucky & Brooklyn Masterlist

Bucky lays on Sarah's couch staring up at the ceiling. He hadn't slept last night. The night before he couldn't stop looking at your son, and you. More than once you had taken a moment to glance over there, only to see Bucky staring right back at you. Even though you're overwhelmed and confused, you also know that Bucky is. And he has every right to.

Bucky's eyes randomly go to the hallway that leads to your former room. You couldn't stand to have Joshua away from you, so he slept in the bed right next to you. Sleep was hard, because he had so many questions about the man with the metal arm. Made comments about his features that looked like his, but never asking if he was his father.

But Bucky couldn't leave. Had no desire to spend another moment without his son, and even you. His phone call to Sarah was a bit lackluster, letting her know he would talk to her when he got back. He just didn't understand what to think, what to feel. He just knew his Brooklyn girl and him had a son.

Joshua leans up in the bed over your body, and sees you're still asleep. He lays back down on his pillow, his little fingers tapping on his belly for what he thinks is hours, when it was only a few moments, so quietly and carefully he crawls out of the bed. Tiptoeing out of the bedroom, and being very careful not to open the door too wide, or it will squeak. Only barely closing the door behind him. Walking into the kitchen he drags his stool over to the pantry to get out his cereal that Sarah made Bucky go get. Fixing him a big ole bowl.

Bucky watches with fascination. Seeing just how comfortable he is in this apartment, and he wonders why you even left. Joshua stops at the door and notices that Bucky is awake. Bucky gives the boy a smile and a little wave, which Joshua returns with a giggle. "Do you like DuckTales?"

"I don't think I've ever watched it."

"Nana let's me watch shows until everyone gets up. That's why you had to get my cereal. I'm a growing boy," he walks and stops in front of the couch right in front of Bucky. "You're in my spot."

"Oh, I'm sorry," Bucky grunts lifting up. Joshua crawls onto the couch next to Bucky, struggling to scoot back with his bowl, so he hands it over to Bucky. Reaching over to grab the remote he turns on a cartoon.

Joshua takes a long crunchy bite, his eyes are looking at the television but he's got questions, and his mom is asleep. "Do you like LEGO blocks?"

"I played with LEGOs when I was your age. Haven't touched them since."

Joshua turns his head to look at him, eyes going large. "It's LEGO blocks, okay?" Bucky snickers, but gives him a nod. "How do you know my mom?"

"We grew up together."

"Do you know uncle Steve?"

Bucky slowly inhales, having to look away from him. Steve knew, and couldn't be bothered to let him know. Steve knew what it was like to live without his son, and still couldn't let him know. "Yeah."

"I like him. He brought me gifts from my dad. Not Simon, blech, he's not nice. Mama and me always have to behave or he gets mad. But Steve brought me secret gifts from my real dad. Hold on," he starts to scoot off the couch, but stops to hand the bowl to Bucky. "Thanks."

Running into your room, he quietly gets his backpack bringing it in there with him. Going into his small hidden zipper he pulls out dog tags. "See, James Buchanan Barnes. Like me," his little fingers rub over the embossing before he stuffs it back in the bag. "He told me not to tell her. I want to wear them so bad. Took them to show and tell. Mama misses him."

Bucky's eyes go back to the hallway, taking a long gulp before looking back at the little boy. "Why do you say that?"

"She tells me about him. Said he was so handsome, but he was nice to her. She said he saved her life more than once. It's how she met Nana. You grew up with mama, so do you know James?"

"Joshua?" you lean against the hallway wall looking at your beautiful little boy. "You wanna quit talking Bucky's head off?"

Joshua looks at Bucky before back to you taking a final spoonful of cereal, running into the kitchen. He fetches his stool and goes to wash the bowl out. Placing it in the drying rack before giving you the biggest hug. "Love you, mama."

"Love you, too, handsome. You going to play with with your 'LEGO blocks'?" you ask. Even Bucky chuckles at that. "I hear Nana. She missed you so much. Tell her, I'll bring her some breakfast in a minute, and you and her can have a day, okay?" he pulls you down to him to give you the biggest kiss, and then running off to help Sarah, while she quilts.

"You told him about me? But didn't want to tell me about him?" he gives you a long hard stare, but you choose to ignore him. Walking into the kitchen to start making pancakes. "Brook...you could talk to me. You owe me that."

"I owe you nothing, but a thanks for giving him to me."

"That's not fair."

You scoff at him. "What's not fair is I was eighteen. Kicked out of my house and raising a baby on my own that I couldn't' afford. But he was worth it."

"I could have been there."

"What about Jessica? Or Dot? Oh, what were you gonna do about Halle? No, it was better off this way. We might have been friends and you respected me more than them, but we were never a couple. So don't try and make me feel guilty for something I can't change. We can't go back."

"You told him about me," you dare to look into his eyes, clouded over with his tears, and have to look away. "You named him after me. But you never wanted him to know me?"

"I was scared."

"Steve knew. He spent Christmas with him," you give him a whispered I'm sorry. "Had Becca not seen you, when would you have ever said anything? I would be a good dad. My girlfriend has two of her own."

You struggle to hold in your tears. Not that you didn't think that Bucky wouldn't move on, but hearing that he did...it stings. "I'm sorry I took that away from you. I'm sorry I fell for you, and I couldn't have what I wanted. I'm sorry I was just the little girl from Brooklyn you were fucking. It was fun for you Bucky, but it was everything to me," you plate up the pancakes, and place them on a tray with grape juice, walking it into your favorite people in the world.

"How long do you plan on staying? Isn't your girlfriend worried?"

"Is that what the attitude is about?"

"Admit it. It meant nothing to you. Another notch on your bedpost. I'm not stupid Bucky, I've known you my whole life. You always had a girl on your arm, and I was the one stupid enough to think I could change you. I guess age is what changed you, since you live with your girlfriend with two kids."

Bucky slams his fist on the counter, but when he sees you flinch, he apologizes quickly, wrapping those arms around you. And for a moment you falter. For just a second, you close your eyes and inhale his musky scent, but you push him away. "I'm sorry. I've got...let's get something straight. I don't live with her."

"How long have you been together?"

"A few years," you roll your eyes, walking over to sit at the table. "I know."

"Why don't you live with her?"

His eyes roam around your face before falling to the pancakes in front of him, "I love her, but there's been someone I couldn't get out of my head. It's selfish, I know."

"And who was it that stole, Bucky Barnes' heart?"

His eyes roll up to meet you. Those piercing blue eyes that make you fall every time. "You."

Without a word, you scoot your chair back. Letting your fork fall loudly on your plate. "I gotta go. Tell Sarah I'll be back."

Masterlist

#desperate lives #desperate lives au #desperate verse #da au #da au ask #dau #bucky barnes #bucky barnes x brooklyn #bucky barnes x brooklyn!reader

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hotchscvm · 3 years

Text

hoe hoe hoe - part one

Warnings: dark!Steve, student/teacher relationship

Word count: 2.2k

Pairings: Professor!Steve Rogers x Reader

Summary: Your dad's best friend isn't exactly who you thought he'd be.

chris evans masterlist

Walking in the front door, the smell of eggnog, and pine hit your nose, mixing in with the warmth of the newly cooked food in the kitchen. Looking around the house, you registered how much decorating you had left your father to do, pondering whether or not he strained his back putting up the Christmas tree. You'd have to make it up to him somehow.

"Dad! I'm home." you yelled out, stepping out of your shoes. Even with the amount of work he had done, he still had the time to shovel the driveway despite the heavy amount of snow that had precipitated last night. The mixed-breed boxer pawed his way to you, the dog panting as he snuggled himself against your leg. "Hey, cutie."

Your father stuck his head from the kitchen, motioning for you to come into the room. "In the kitchen. I was getting worried that you got stuck in traffic. It's an absolute nightmare coming into the city from 122 right now."

Entering the kitchen with Dodger, you went to hug your dad, your arms wrapping around his waist. The man chuckled, giving your cold body a hug back before kissing your forehead. You sighed, pulling away, looking around the kitchen to see the dining room covered with food. "Traffic was a bitch, but I managed to get out of it. Although, I may have made a couple of people mad, but you gotta do what you have to do, right?"

"You got that right, pumpkin." he replied. For someone with a 20 year old daughter, the man was young, having you with his high school sweetheart at 19. He gestured at the food. "You hungry? I made all of this and I'm not sure that everyone at the party will eat all of this."

"Jesus, Dad, were you drunk when you made all of this? This is enough to feed the whole country." you commented, walking up to the table to grab a mini quiche off the plate. Your tongue swirled around the food, relishing the flavor. It was a gift having your father as a successful chef.

"I may have went overboard with the cooking, but I got excited." he explained, chuckling. Pouring some eggnog in a mug, he offered it to you, taking a sip of his own before announcing his news. "An old friend of mine is coming for the party. My best friend in college. He's in town for the holidays, and he'll be staying with us for a few. That okay?"

You nodded, washing the remaining quiche in the eggnog, swallowing it down. "Yeah, that's fine. Who's this friend of yours? Have I met him before?"

"You used to call him Uncle Steve, but he left for Brooklyn when you were four. I doubt you'd remember him but he gave you that necklace last year when he couldn't make it. He's a professor in Brooklyn now, but he wanted to come to Boston, spend the holidays with us."

"Wait, he gave me this necklace?" you asked, holding up the golden angel wings between your fingers. Your dad nodded, untying the knot on his apron. "Oh, wow. Hey, I officially get to thank him for it."

You dad agreed, nodding again as he popped a mint in his mouth, his teeth grinding down on it. "Yes, you will. He'll appreciate seeing you again. He's been talking about seeing his favorite girl—shit."

"Something wrong?"

"I forgot to pick up the ham today. I've been so busy making everything for today that I completely forgot about the main course for tomorrow." said your father, rubbing the bridge of his nose, mentally slapping himself. He sighed. "Can you take the pie out of the oven when it's ready? I have to run to the store really quick and get the ham."

Shaking your head, you stopped him, pushing his clearly exhausted body into the nearest chair, shaking a finger at him when he tried to stand back up. "No, no, no. You're tired and you need to rest. I'll get the ham, and anything else you need. Text me a list."

"Pumpkin, you don't have to do that. You just got home—" he was cut off by your insistent expression, the man relenting. "Okay, fine. Go to the Costco, they have a better selection there. And drive safe, it's supposed to be snowing tonight but with Massachusetts weather, you never know if it'll start early."

"Gotcha. I'll be back soon. In the meantime, you sit, rest, and text me a list of things I need." you said, grabbing the keys from the table. The cold air hit your face, your cheeks stinging from the impact. You winced, wishing home was somewhere warmer.

The drive to Costco was nostalgic, the familiar buildings and roads bringing back memories so deep you forgot they existed. The little ice cream place reminded you of your first kiss with your first grade boyfriend. You had immediately broken up with him the next day, claiming it was the way he walked when he asked if it was his sloppy peck on the lips. You had lied through your teeth.

Slosh was fun, it made it that much gross to walk through the barely shoveled parking lot, nearly slipping as you reached the entrance. One of the employees by the door handed you a cart, giving you a curt smile before returning to his spot.

Pushing the cart down the aisles, you immediately head to the grocery area, getting a text from your dad of all the food to get. With how short the list was, the cart had been unnecessary, but you decided to get all the last minute Christmas shopping out of the way, grabbing a Christmas card to match the present you had gotten for your father.

You had just bent over, reaching for the ham when you heard your name called, the familiar voice making you look up. A few feet behind you stood your history professor, a surprised smile on his face as he took you in. You returned the smile, stunned by the sight of you professor. "Professor Rogers? Hey, what're you doing here?"

The blond raised an eyebrow, his piercing blue eyes flickering to the necklace visible. He smirked inside, his heart warming at the thought. "I'm in the city for the holidays. I'm staying with a friend, catch up with them. What about you? Any exciting plans for Christmas?"

"Just spending it with my dad." you replied, reaching behind you to randomly grab a ham, not looking at the brand, and dropped it in the cart. "To be honest, I didn't think you could even leave Brooklyn. I mean, you practically worship the city, it's a surprise seeing you outside of it."

Professor Rogers laughed, his laughter was what you imagined angels to sound like. To say you had a tiny crush on the hot professor was understandable, although, so did everyone who had eyes. The professor leaned against the freezer, his eyes never breaking from yours. "Brooklyn's nice but it's nice to get out once in a while. That's a beautiful necklace you have there."

"Thanks, I got it from my dad's friend." you said, blushing slightly at the compliment. Taking a quick look at your phone, you noted you had everything your dad had asked for. Glancing back up at the Professor Rogers, you noticed how close he was, barely a few feet away. You gave him a smile. "It was nice seeing you, Professor. I'll see you in class."

Before you could move your cart, the professor placed a hand on it, motioning for you to pause. The blond scratched the back of his head, rocking back and forth on his heels. "Do you need help with anything? I can help you load this in your car, if you want."

"I didn't realize you worked at Costco, Professor." you teased, earning the cutest blush from the blond. Giggling, you shook your head, enjoying his company a lot more than it was allowed. "Don't worry, it's fine. It's not a lot, and I wouldn't want to bother—"

"You're not." he interrupted, sheepishly staring at the floor. The professor made himself look up, smirking when he realized you were blushing. "I wouldn't have offered if I didn't want to. Humor me?"

Call it stupidity or side effects of Steve Rogers' presence, but you wanted to spend more time with him, no matter how domestic the chore. Your smile widened, if possible, and you nodded. "Alright, if you insist. I've gotten everything I need, so I can tag along with you."

"All I really needed was some coffee," Professor Rogers held up the little plastic container filled with coffee grounds. Your thoughts immediately went to his hands wrapped around the cylinder, mentally slapping yourself for finding the simple action hot. "I'm ready to go if you are."

"Oh, okay. Let's go then."

The wall from the grocery area to the checkout was rather fun, the professor making you blush too many times to count, the smile on either of your faces never leaving. It wasn't a secret how many people fought to be in his class, guys included, mostly trying to "bond" with the professor only to get turned down every time someone had the balls to ask him. But it never stopped anyone from trying. It was almost pathetic, but very amusing in a sadistic way.

Professor Rogers held your grocery bags in his hands, effortlessly carrying them while you tried to take them back, feeling bad for having your professor help you out. The man would wave away your pleas, and you gave up as soon as you neared your car, unlocking the doors, and opened the trunk, Professor Rogers unloading all the bags inside. You bit back a smile, admiring the view, jealously wondering who would be lucky enough to end up as his wife.

He closed up the trunk once he was done, shifting his weight between his feet. "So, are you staying in Boston for the whole break or...?"

"Yup. I haven't spent much time with my dad since summer, and I've been guilted to stay in the cold since he's too stubborn to go somewhere warmer." you answered, playfully rolling your eyes. Professor Rogers walked you to the driver's side while you played with your keys, not wanting to say goodbye to him already. "What about you?"

"Me, too." said the professor, tucking his hands in his winter coat. He sighed, the smile dropping. "It was really nice to see you. I'll see you soon, sweetheart."

You nearly swooned at the nickname, cursing your heart for being so easily affected. "You, too, Professor. Happy Holidays and all that."

He laughed, walking off with a wave, the smile that had fallen now impended on his face as he walked back to his car. Steve turned around to see you get in yours, unsubtly staring at your ass. He sighed once again, a wave of sadness washing over him, the feeling he got every time he had to say goodbye to you. It would only be a couple of minutes, but it didn't make him hate it any less.

You drove off after a few seconds of getting your shit together; seeing your unbearable hot professor made you feel like a disgusting head-over-heels in love teenager. Or in other words, it made you the same as those desperate girls back on campus. You scoffed at the thought, starting your car. Hopefully, you'd see him again before class starts, but you highly doubt it.

Snow was falling, the little flurries making it harder to see through the windshield, only to stop suddenly when you reached your house. You grabbed the groceries from the trunk, easily carrying it into the house, so focused on not slipping that you hadn't noticed a very familiar car in the driveway.

Opening the door with ease, you entered the house, almost getting knocked out by the eager dog, jumping up on you. Laughing, you placed all the bags in one arm, reaching down with your free one to pet Dodger. The dog panted happily, his tongue sticking out of his mouth as it dismounted it's paws off your legs. The house had gotten awfully warm, even for you, and you immediately set the bags down to take off your coat. You hadn't noticed the shoes besides the door.

"Dad, I'm back." you announced, picking up the bags and headed to the kitchen, your gaze on the floor, careful not to slip.

Your father clapped Steve's back, the broad blond's presence gone unnoticed by you while you dropped the bags on the kitchen island. Your dad smiled. "Thanks, pumpkin. Honey, this is Steve, my buddy from college."

You turned around, facing them, a grin on your face, only to drop slightly when you saw who Steve was. There, standing in the middle of your kitchen, stood your history professor, all six feet of him, nonchalantly grinning at you. He engulfed you in a hug, leaving you breathless. "Professor?"

"Hello, sweetheart."

next >

#chris evans #chris evans fanfiction #chris evans x reader #chris evans smut #steve rogers #captain america #reader insert #dub con #dark!steve rogers #dark!steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x reader #marvel #steve rogers imagine #professor steve rogers #professor!steve rogers x reader

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heauxplesslydevoted · 3 years

Text

Coming Down (Ethan x MC)

Summary: They break up. Dassit

A/N: I’ve been tired of this imposter Ethan, and the back of forth nature of his romance route for the entirety of book 3, so I wrote this.

Warnings: None

Title Inspo

~v~

Naomi’s fingernails tap impatiently against her leg as the shrill ring of her cell phone rings at her ear. It rings 5 long times before she’s sent to voicemail.

“Hello, you’ve reached Dr. Ethan Ramsey. I’m sorry for not answering your phone call, but leave a message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can. Thank you.”

“Ethan, it’s me...again. I haven’t heard from you in,” lifting her wrist, Naomi checks the time on her watch, “wow, in over 24 hours. I’ve been calling and calling, to no avail, and you just aren’t responding.”

The news of Ethan getting hit with a malpractice lawsuit hit her like a freight train. As soon as things started to feel good again, as soon as the diagnostics team started to find its rhythm with two new physicians, this torpedoes any chance of normalcy she could ever experience.

“If you could give me a call back and let me hear the sound of your voice, that’d be great. Bye.”

There’s a lot more that she wants to say, but she’s been given a limited window of time so Naomi hangs up.

Switching tactics, Naomi opens up her messages, and scrolls to her thread with Ethan.

Naomi: Hi

Naomi: Are you okay? I haven’t heard from you in a while.

Naomi: Can you at least reply, telling me to leave you alone?

Naomi: At this point, I’d settle for at least knowing if you’re alive.

She waits a few minutes, and when she gets no response, she shoves her phone into the pocket of her white coat. Anxiousness and worry pools in the pit of her stomach, and the only thing she can think about is Ethan’s well being. And this situation doesn’t bode well because Naomi is still in the middle of her shift.

Her thoughts are interrupted by the sound of quiet chatter as the door to the diagnostics team’s office opens and in walks Tobias and Harper. Their conversation is cut short once they notice the youngest member of the team.

“Hi, Naomi,” Tobias greets, an easygoing smile adorning his face. “What’s up?”

She wishes she could feel as casual as he looks, because every part of her body is twisted inside out and turned upside down.

“Have either of you talked to Ethan today?” Naomi asks, skipping the pleasantries.

“I spoke to him yesterday just to gauge how he was handling the malpractice suit,” Tobias answers. “Obviously, the conversation didn’t last long because he and I rarely interact outside of these four walls, but he seems…” he trails off when he notices Naomi’s face fall. “What’s wrong? Is everything alright?”

Any other time, Naomi would be ecstatic to hear about Tobias extending an olive branch, and Ethan actually accepting the support, but today isn’t that day. She’s been trying to get in touch with him all day with no success, but he answers a phone call from his sworn enemy?

“I haven’t heard from Ethan today, so I’m at least glad to know he’s breathing,” Naomi says, her voice tight.

Too caught up in her own pity party, Naomi misses the way Tobias and Harper exchange worried glances. The team has been through enough the past few months, the last thing they need is romantic friction between Ethan and Naomi seeping into the office.

“Maybe he’s turned his phone off since then?” Tobias suggests. “Times like this can force you into an introspective mood, and he’s probably going technology free.”

Naomi chuckles humorlessly. She appreciates Tobias’s effort to satiate her foul mood, but she can’t think of a single excuse short of death that could justify Ethan’s behavior.

She stands, dusting off her coat and straightening it out. “Thanks. I’m going to get some lab work done on our patient, page me if you need anything.”

“Will do.”

Without another word, Naomi exits the office.

Working helps slightly. For an hour or so, Naomi is successful in turning off her brain and focusing diligently on work. She manages to not think about Ethan at all.

Until she hears his name brought up in conversation. She’s strolling towards the nurse's station when she sees Sarah and another nurse, Ronnie huddled in a corner.

“Sounds like Dr. Ramsey’s not as perfect as everyone thinks, huh?”

“Screwing up a standard tracheotomy that way? Frankly, I’m just surprised it took the patient this long to sue!”

Naomi slows her steps before she stops walking all together. The nurses are so engrossed in their conversation, they don’t even notice her.

“I heard from Marlene that the patient wouldn’t have even needed a trach if they hadn’t dosed her wrong in the first place,” Sarah adds in an excited whisper.

“Seriously? That’s next level…”

Her first instinct is to stop this, to tell them to stop talking, the urge to protect Ethan still as strong as it’s always been.

But she stops herself from doing that. Because why should she? Why should she put forth the effort to defend the honor and reputation of a man that doesn’t even have the decency to answer her phone calls?

And just like that, she’s plunged back into her flurry of conflicting emotions: worry, fear, annoyance, and most of all, anger. The emotions war inside her, all fighting for dominance, and she hasn’t felt like this since her intern year when he left to go to South America without any sort of goodbye or correspondence.

That wasn’t a good period in her life. Naomi can still feel the cold grip of anxiety that plagued her chest when she came into work one day and he was nowhere to be seen. She heard through a LVN that he left before confirming it with Naveen. She can still taste the saltiness of the tears she shed after leaving her 5th unanswered voicemail. Experiencing such a high of beating her ethics trial and getting picked for the diagnostic team, and the low of him leaving in that short amount of time left her spiraling and isolated, and it took entirely too much time clawing herself out of that dark place.

Turning on her heel, Naomi speed walks in the other direction, her original plan long forgotten. The hospital passes her by in a blur as her legs move, the rest of her body and brain moving on autopilot.

She doesn’t stop moving until she’s in front of the residents’ lounge. She spots Aurora, Bryce, and Sienna sitting at a table.

“Naomi, come join us!” Sienna exclaims. “We’re going to make cappuccinos with this fancy machine.”

“I’ll have to take a raincheck on that,” Naomi says. She turns to Bryce. “Can I borrow your car keys please?”

“Everything okay?”

“Yeah, I just have a couple errands to run and I don’t feel like taking the train. I’ll bring it back with a full tank of gas and everything.”

“I’m not gonna nitpick you about gas, Omi.” Bryce’s warm gaze sweeps across Naomi’s face, studying her. If he notices anything wrong with her, which he probably does because Bryce is a lot more perceptive than he gives himself credit for, he thankfully doesn’t mention it. He reaches into the pocket of his mint green scrub pants and pulls out his keys. He tosses the keys to Naomi with a wink, and she catches them mid air.

“I keep a shovel in the trunk in case you need to bury a body.”

Whether he realizes what is going on with her, or if he just cracked a joke to lighten the mood, Naomi is grateful either way.

~v~

Naomi spends an hour driving around Boston, people watching and attempting to collect her thoughts before she ends up in Back Bay at Ethan’s apartment complex. She didn’t want to go to his house in her previous state, guns blazing and emotions all over her place.

Even on the ride on the elevator up to his unit, her stomach is in knots and her heart beats faster than normal. She hasn’t been this nervous about seeing Ethan in a long time, and it dawns on her just how fucked this entire situation is. Why should she be nervous to talk to the man who claims to want to be with her?

Steeling her nerves, Naomi issues three sharp knocks to Ethan’s front door. Approximately 45 seconds pass before the door opens.

“Naomi!” Ethan’s eyes widen when he sees her standing there. “What are you doing here?”

“Are you going to let me in, or should we have this conversation in the hallway?” Naomi asks. Ethan steps aside, widening the door so Naomi can enter. “Thank you.”

The apartment is stale, like Ethan hasn’t opened the windows in a few days. He looks disheveled, the bags under his eyes are extremely pronounced like he hasn’t gotten a wink of sleep.

For lack of a better word, Ethan is a mess. And she wants nothing more than to just...wrap her arms around him and make everything better. But she doesn’t. She keeps her distance.

Ethan shuts the door before turning back to her. “Can I get you something to drink?”

“No.”

“Well let’s sit down.”

“No, I think I’d rather stand because I don’t plan on being here long.”

The coldness stuns Ethan. Naomi almost seems indifferent towards him, something he’s never experienced before. It doesn’t go unnoticed that she didn’t bother greeting him warmly, no hug or kiss, no excitement in her voice, nothing.

“I needed to see with my own two eyes that you were alive and well,” Naomi starts. “Because you’ve gone radio silent on me. I know you’ve seen me calling and texting. Your phone works just fine because you picked up a call from Tobias of all people.”

He averts his gaze, ashamed of himself. “I’m sorry, I–”

She holds up a hand, stopping him mid-sentence. Naomi doesn’t believe for one second that he’s apologizing due to actual remorse. “I have spent the entire day wracked with intense worry. I feel like I’ve been turned upside down, and I could barely focus on work. Every time I thought I could be productive, something or someone was there to remind me of you. And then I’d spend more time ruminating over you and your situation, and the fact that you’re ignoring me, and then I’d feel like absolute shit. And earlier today, as I listened to the nurses gossip about you, I realized that this feels so much like your two month sabbatical to the Amazon, and our relationship hasn’t changed at all since then.”

“That’s not true,” Ethan argues.

“It is,” Naomi insists. “One step forward doesn’t mean anything if we end up taking two steps back immediately afterwards. A year and a half later, you’re still holding me at arms length, keeping yourself closed off, ignoring my calls.”

“I don’t mean to do this, to be this way.”

“But you continue to do it, so at this point you have to see it’s a pattern. You won’t even open up and talk to me about this lawsuit that’s being waged against you.”

“I just don’t want you getting needlessly involved.”

“While it’s a noble excuse, it’s complete and utter bullshit. If you think you’re doing something to save my reputation, remember nothing you do will ever top me almost losing my medical license my intern year, and then having a resident face a malpractice lawsuit a few months later. So come on, give me another excuse.”

“I’m doing this for you!”

“How? How could this possibly be for me?”

“Everything I touch becomes tainted!” Ethan snaps. “Because there is something wrong, in which everyone arounds me leaves or dies, or everything falls apart. I don’t have control or autonomy over anything, so yes, the one precious thing in my life, I’m too scared to touch.”

“But I have been right here with you! I was right here in this exact same spot when we worked on Naveen’s case. I sat by your side while we watched over Dolores’s son. I was there when they wheeled your mother into the hospital, and when you took her to rehab. Time and time again, I’ve proven to you that my loyalty is steadfast, and not once have I ever wavered, so you don’t get to stand here and punish me for some unrealized fear. You don’t get to treat me like I’m a passenger in this relationship, if you can even call it that.”

That’s what gives him pause. “Of course this is a relationship.”

“This isn’t a relationship, I am just a woman you sleep with. Occasionally you open up to me, we share a cute moment and promises, and then you clam up and up goes the barriers, and it starts all over again. And every single time, we’re a little bit deeper into this thing we’re in. I’ve shared more, I’ve let myself be more vulnerable with you, emotionally and physically, I’ve deluded myself into thinking ‘This time it’s the real thing,’. And I’m afraid that this is going to be our reality. One day I wake up, 3 years in, tentatively living with you, trying to settle into the pieces of a life I’ve scrounged up with you, and you do this again.”

“I don’t speak on it, and I don’t like to because I try to keep it all together, but you don’t understand the toll it takes on me every time we do this back and forth. I was a train wreck when you quit. I had the trial looming over my head, Landry, a guy I considered one of my closest friends betrayed me in the worst possible way, you weren’t the only person scared of losing Naveen, and I couldn’t even verbalize any of it to you because you slammed a door in my face when I tried to bring it up, and then you left me. And then you did it again, and I spent two months worried that you might not even come home because you could contract the deadly disease you were off fighting. And then you go on national television declaring your relationship status, and you made promises to me on my deathbed that led nowhere, and then finally we make some headway in Hawaii and establish what we have going on, and then I come home to this. So while you say one thing to me, time and time again, your actions say otherwise. It’s clear I’m not a priority.”

This conversation triggers Ethan’s fight or flight response. He doesn’t know where this conversation is headed, but he’s smart enough to know it’s nowhere good.

“Naomi, what are you saying? Spell it out to me like I’m a preschooler.”

“I think we need a break,” Naomi says in one breath, afraid she’ll break if she prolongs this any further. The six words leave a sour taste in her mouth that she has to choke back.

“No,” Ethan’s tone is gruff, and the seriousness almost startled Naomi. “No, we’re not breaking up.”

“From where I’m standing, we already have,” Naomi retorts. “I’m just confirming it.”

Ethan takes one long stride towards Naomi, but she takes a step back. “Look, I am a daft asshole to put it mildly, and I know I have a lot of work to do, but this is by no means a reason for us to break up.” He takes another step forward, and now Naomi is backed up against the door. He tugs her forward, wrapping his arms around her. “I am sorry. I know the words probably sound hollow, but trust me when I say I mean it. I’ll fix this, I’ll do whatever it takes. You’re the only person I want, the only one I’ll ever want, and I’m not losing you. Not now, not ever.”

Through this right embrace, Naomi can feel just how rapidly his heart is beating. He’s scared.

A tear slips from the corner of her eye, and she’s too drained to even wipe it away. “This is reactionary. You’re saying all of this because you’re panicked, but if you meant any of what you just said, it wouldn’t take the threat of a breakup in order to want to change things.”

“It shouldn’t have taken me this long to realize what a fool I’ve been,” Ethan says. He refuses to let go of her, his arms still wrapped so tightly around her petite frame, he almost worries about crushing her.

“I agree.” What does that even mean? She gives him nothing more than that, and Ethan is left to stew in his own doubt and worry. Naomi breaks free of his embrace and presses a palm to his chest, signaling him to give her some space. “But I still think we need some space.”

“You don’t mean that.”

“Trust me, I do.”

It becomes hard to breathe. When Ethan woke up this morning, the last thing he expected was Naomi to dump him. “What can I do? Tell me how to fix this. Do you want consistency? Done, I’ll talk to you every single day, multiple times a day. Transparency? Sit down right now, and I’ll explain this entire lawsuit top to bottom. You want proof that I’m never going to up and leave again, you can take my fucking passport. Naomi, I don’t care what I have to do, I will do it, but I will not accept you walking out of that door.”

Naomi inhales deeply, trying to stop a full son from bursting out of her chest. He’s saying all the right things, but at the wrong time. It’s too late now. “I’ve warred with myself all day about this decision. You’re clearly not in the right space to sustain a healthy relationship, and that’s fine. I just need to remove myself from the situation, for my own health and well-being. And I think you need to do the same.”

“So...what? This is it? It’s over?”

“Let’s be honest Ethan, you never gave us the opportunity to begin.” She wants to touch him so badly, reach out a run her hand through his hair or stroke his beard one more time. It takes everything in her to not. “You’re a great doctor, one of the best ones I know, so I really hope you beat this entire lawsuit and I get to see you back at Edenbrook. Take care of yourself, Ethan.

Ethan shakes his head in denial. He refuses to let things end like this, and for her to give him the same cool professionalism she extends to every other coworker.

“Naomi, wait–”

She’s out of his apartment before he can convince her to stay. It doesn’t register until he hears the soft click of her door shutting that she’s actually gone. And another minute passes before the gravity of the situation finally dawns on him.

For the first time in a long time, he’s truly alone.

~v~

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#playchoices #choices: stories you play #open heart #ethan ramsey #ethan x mc #dr. ethan ramsey

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atlafan · 4 years

Text

Office Neighbors - Part Four

a/n: alright, the angst in this is...ANGSTY, so please be careful lmao, I think the smut and fluff makes up for it though, but you tell me. enjoy! (reblogs and feedback are helpful!) (not proofread, I’m sorry)

warnings: fluff, angst, smut

words: 17K

masterpost

You were in a large t-shirt, underwear, and a pair of socks, getting your things packed for the conference. Harry would be picking you up around eight to hit the road for New York so you wanted to make sure you weren’t scrambling in the morning. You had your A/C cranked as you were running around so you wouldn’t be sweaty before bed.

The buzzer for your door goes off, and a shock goes through your system. You look out the window towards the street and you see Harry’s car lit up by the street light. You rush over to your door to buzz him in. You don’t even have time to consider putting something cuter on by the time he’s coming in through your door.

“Harry, what are y-“

He drops a small bag he brought with him, and pushes you up against the wall crashing his lips to yours. His hands drag down your hips and to your thighs to hoist you up. You instantly wrap your legs around his waist and tug at his hair.

“Wh-what’s happening?” You breathe.

“I didn’t want it to happen at the hotel.”

“What?” He gives you an almost pained look. “Oh!” You look down at yourself. “I looked so much cuter for you the other day, though.”

“I can’t tell you how cute I think you look right now. Can I please take you to your bedroom?”

“Yes.” You kiss on his neck while he walks you down the hall to your bedroom. “I want you so bad, Harry.”

“I know, I want you too, I was being silly the other night.” He gets you onto your bed and kicks his shoes off before settling on top of you. “I want this…with you.”

“Me too.” You arch up to kiss him.

“You’re okay with all this? Me being here right now?”

“Yes, Harry.” You reach for the hem of your shirt and lift it off, revealing your breasts to him.

“Do you have condoms?” He says as he licks over one of nipples.

“Y-yeah, in my bathroom.”

He hums his response as he kisses down your stomach. Everything felt hazy. When he looks up at you to speak, a buzzing sound comes out of his mouth.

“Huh?”

Your eyes flutter open to the sound of your alarm, and you nearly start crying from anger.

“Oh, for the love God!” You groan as you kick your blankets back.

It had been a couple of days since you were intimate with Harry. He called you the next morning to see how you were, ever the gentleman. He had a chance to see Andy before the conference, so he took it, not that you blamed him, but you were sort of hoping he’d come by and rail you.

You take a very quick shower, and make sure your things are together before he comes to pick you up. You had been up late getting everything packed, and clearly the stress from that had gone into your dream, and dream Harry came to relieve you of that stress. You just wish the real Harry would. Not that the other night wasn’t amazing, because it was, you were just sort of hoping to fully have sex with him. You understood him and you didn’t at the same time. What was the difference between having his dick in your mouth or having it in your vagina? You knew have sex was serious, and he probably had to be careful about who he got into relationships with because of his son, but he’s known you almost a year…doesn’t he trust you?

You’re taken from your thoughts when you hear your buzzer. You perk up a bit, and grab your backpack, and rolling luggage, and head out the door. Harry’s waiting outside his car with his trunk open. He looked really handsome. He was wearing a pair of light blue shorts, a white t-shirt, and a pair of sunglasses.

“Morning!” He says. “Got coffee and a breakfast sandwich for you in the car, I stopped off at Dunks.”

“Thanks, you’re the best.” You kiss him on the cheek and he puts your luggage in the trunk. You keep your backpack with you in case there’s anything you may need.

“So, it’ll be roughly four and half hours. We can stop anytime you want, don’t be afraid to speak up.”

“Do you…drive through the city often?”

“Not really, why?”

“Well…it’s just…do you mind if I do the first half of the drive? I’d like to gets us through Boston.”

“We don’t need to go that way. We’re going to take 93 to 293 and go through Manchester, and then eventually we’ll switch to 95, no need to go through Boston at all, love.”

“Oh…alright then.” You get the passenger seat and buckle up. He gets in the driver’s side, and pulls onto the street.

“That’s not to say you can’t drive, we can take turns. Or I can drive there and you can drive back, it doesn’t matter to me.”

“I just…sometimes I get road rage and I can be sort of a back seat driver, especially when it comes to driving in the city, but if we’re not going through Boston we shouldn’t have a problem.”

“Don’t forget, I do go to London quite a bit, people drive like wankers out there just the same, so I know what I’m doing.” He smirks at you.

“Mhm.” You nudge him.

“Did you sleep well? I feel like I never sleep well before big outings like this, no idea why.”

“Yeah, um, I slept alright.” Your face flushes a little as you remember your very vivid dream. “Slept like a rock, really.” You clear your throat. “What did you do with Andy?”

“I took him up to the cabin for some alone time. Went kayaking, made a little fire, it was fun.”

“Oh, that’s great!”

“Yeah, he says hello by the way.”

“Aw, that’s sweet.”

“He asked a lot of questions about you, he’s so nosey.” Harry chuckles.

“Probably just wants to make sure you’re not going out with a crazy person.” You laugh and open up your breakfast sandwich. You take a bite, and then have a sip of coffee. “Thanks again for breakfast, so nice of you.”

“Oh, don’t even worry about it. I have a little cooler in the back seat as well with other snacks if you get hungry.”

“Gee, thanks, Daddy, did you pack capri-suns? Those are my favorite.” You grin at him as you tease him.

“Make fun all you want, but when you get hungry or thirsty, you’re gonna be happy I prepared.” He side eyes you. “I have a tough time taking my dad hat off sometimes, alright?”

“No, no, it’s nice that you think ahead. I appreciate it.” You put your hand on his shoulder and give it a squeeze. “You just make it very easy to tease you sometimes.”

“Glad I can be a source of entertainment for you.”

“Hey, someone has to be on this long ass ride.”

“Long ass ride.” He chuckles.

“Yeah, it’s mad long.” You say as you look out the window.

“Mad long kid.” He says in a horrible Boston accent and you slowly turn to face him.

“Was that supposed to be me?” You laugh. “I don’t think you want to play the accent game, pal.”

“I think it’s cute when you let it out a little. I think you said ‘wicked’ in one of the classes I observed and I had to try not to laugh, or like any time you say ‘pissed’.”

“Everyone uses those words! It’s not like I’m sitting there going, ‘that’s wicked pissah, guy’, give me some credit.”

“See, again, I just think it’s cute.” He smiles. “Say more super-Boston words, what’s another good one?”

“Umm, god, I don’t know.” You giggle. “Is dungaree one?”

“What in the fuck is a dungaree?” He laughs.

“It’s another way to say blue jeans.” You laugh. “My parents and grandparents used to say it all the time. I don’t know if it’s a Boston thing though. Umm, spuckie is like a sub sandwich…sort of an East Boston thing though, so not everyone says it.”

“I notice you dropping your R’s a lot towards the end of the day. You don’t really have much of an accent otherwise.”

“I sort of trained myself not to have one because it’s fucking annoying. You sound like a moron. I think it just comes out more when I’m tired.” You shrug. “Do you mind if I connect my phone to the Bluetooth? Listening to NPR the entire time doesn’t sound like fun…”

“Not into morning radio, huh? Sure, you can just use my phone since I have the GPS going.” He grabs it out of the cup holder and unlocks it for you.

“Thanks.” You go into Spotify and slightly snoop at his Daily Mixes. You didn’t listen to a lot of the same stuff, but you did some similarities.

“Anything but top-40 is fine with me.”

“Don’t like pop?”

“No, I do, I just hate listening to the same shit that’s always on the radio.”

“Fair enough.”

“Put on…put on music you would have listened to in college or something.”

“I don’t know if I’m ready to expose myself like that!” You giggle. “I listened to a lot of degrading RnB.”

“Ha!” He shakes his head. “Please, find a playlist and put it on, I’m dying to know.”

“Alright.” You find a playlist with RnB songs from the later 2000’s and figure that will suffice. Rude Boy by Rihanna plays first, a great start. “Ugh, love this song.” You say and put his phone down.

“This is what you’d party to?”

“Sometimes.” You shrug. “It’s just a good song in general. I like Rihanna…do you?”

“She’s not bad.” He shrugs. “I probably wouldn’t let Andy listen to her.”

“Oh, but that’s half the fun! Being a kid and listening to really inappropriate music in your room, pretending like you know what they’re talking about. Used to do it all the time with Eminem.”

“Same here, actually.” He chuckles. You sing softly to yourself and he smiles. “Don’t be afraid to belt it out, I sing in the car all the time.”

“Really? Because you haven’t done it once since I’ve known you.”

“Good point.” He turns the music up and sings along with the chorus and you start laughing. “Come on, Y/N!”

You start singing with him, and that continues on a lot throughout most of the car ride. Around the halfway point, you stop at a rest area to use the bathroom and freshen up. You both grab a slice of pizza for an early lunch, and then head back to the car.

“Do you want me to drive, Har?”

“No, I’m fine…unless I’m making you car sick…”

“No! I just didn’t know if you needed a break.”

“I’m really all set, but thanks.” He pecks your lips quickly and then you both get into the car. “What do you feel like listening to now?”

“You pick.” You smile.

“No I want you to…I like knowing what you’re into…” He blushes.

“Do you like rock music at all? My mom used to listen to all those 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s bands. Might be night to take a break from the profanity.” You chuckle.

“Rock works for me.”

“Eddie Money?”

“Crank it.”

You both giggle and you put on some music. You feel like the two of you have been putting on a concert, and it’s been so much fun.

You arrive at the hotel for the conference, and head right into the garage to park it. Harry gets a ticket that he’ll be able to get validated inside. He helps you with your things, and then you both head inside to check in.

“Harry Styles.” He says to the woman at the desk. You go to the person to her.

“Ah, Dr. Styles, great to have you for the CMT conference. Did you take a ticket for the garage?”

“Yes, here it is, thanks.” She takes it and stamps it.

“Right, and you’ll be here three days, correct?”

“Yes.”

She types on her keyboard and makes some rapid clicks.

“Alright, you’ll be on the twenty-fifth floor, here are two room keys, Wi-Fi is included, and there’s complimentary breakfast every morning.”

“Wonderful, thank you so much.” He looks at you and steps back to wait until you’re given everything. “What floor are you on?” He asks as you both head to the elevator.

“The twentieth, you?”

“Twenty-fifth…I think they gave me a suite or something.”

“Oo, fancy.” You smile. “I asked for a room with two beds so I wouldn’t be shoved into a closet sized room.”

“Smart.”

You both head into the elevator, and Harry follows you out once you’re on your floor. You raise an eyebrow at him.

“I just wanna get you in your room in case there are any creeps watching through their peep holes.”

“Harry…I’ve been to a hotel alone before.”

“I’m sure you have…it’s just for my own peace of mind, humor me?”

“Alright.” You shrug. You key in and he comes in with you. “Still tight, but definitely more floor space with two beds.” You hoist your luggage on top of one of the beds and sit down on the other. “I think I’m gonna relax, get settled for a bit, but do you wanna get dinner later? We could just go to the hotel bar.”

“Yeah, that sounds good. Wouldn’t mind a quick nap, honestly.” He yawns. “See you soon.” He leans forward and kisses your forehead before heading out.

You end up falling asleep for a bit, and then you put on a bit of a nicer outfit for dinner. Harry tells you he’ll meet you outside your room for dinner. He looked a lot nicer too.

“Hey.” You smile and hug him.

“Hey.” He kisses the top of your head, and holds your hand on your way to the elevator.

“Are you happy you get your presentation over with tomorrow?”

“Oh, definitely. Then I’ll be able to enjoy the rest of it.” You both find a spot at the bar and order a couple of drinks while you look over the menu. “Did you want to split something? I’m not starving.”

“Me neither, yeah, that sounds good.” You furrow your brows at the menu and gasp. “Har! They have vegan Buffalo wings, can we please get that?!”

“Yeah, that sounds like it’ll really hit the spot.”

“And curly fries, gotta have curly fries.”

“Agreed.” He smiles.

You both order the food and clink your cocktail glasses once they come to you. The Buffalo wings really did hit the spot because you both scarfed the down.

“I wonder if we’ll run into anyone we know here. I’ve been to this conference once before, but it was a couple of years ago.”

“We all sort of go to different ones, like, our faculty. Plus, not a lot of people go to ones in the summer because they don’t want to think about work, but I like it. I feel like it keeps me fresh for the school year, you know?”

“Mhm.” You smile and just listen to him talk for a little bit. Harry was so incredibly intelligent, and you always liked listening his thoughts on things.

After a couple of drinks you both decide to call it a night since Harry would need to be up early in the morning to prepare for his presentation. He walks you to your room, just as he did earlier.

“Well…goodnight.” He says.

“Did you want to come in?” You nod towards your door.

“I do…but…I probably shouldn’t. I need to get to sleep…”

“Okay.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s really okay, I don’t wanna be the reason you’re tired tomorrow.” You wink at him and peck his cheek. “See you for breakfast?”

“Definitely.” He smiles and waits for you to go inside before walking back to the elevator.

You wake up feeling refreshed the next morning. You take a quick shower, and put on a pair of grey slacks paired with a pink blouse and navy blazer. You liked looking nicer at these types of things. You put your hair up into your buns, just so you still looked a little fun, and head down to breakfast with your laptop bag slung over your shoulder. Your jaw nearly drops when you see Harry down at the breakfast restaurant. He was wearing a suit…you had never seen him in one before. It was brown, and he was wearing a purple button up underneath it.

“Y/N!” He snaps you out of your trance as he waves you over.

“Hey.”

“Morning.” He smiles and kisses you quickly. “You look nice.”

“Thanks…so do you, I mean…you look…so handsome.”

“Oh, stop.” He swats a hand at you. “It’s just dress pants and a matching jacket.”

“No…it’s more than that. I mean, look at all the other people. Blue or black slacks, white button ups. You’re very fashion forward.”

“You’re just now realizing? Well, how nice of you to come out from under your rock.” He winks at you, and you put your bag down so you can go up to the buffet with him.

“Yours it at ten, right?”

“Yup. Which session are you going to first?”

“There’s a working session about advising that I wanna go to, just to get some tips since I’m advising this year.”

“That’s a great idea.”

“What about you?”

“I’m not going to anything this morning, just so I can focus. I’m gonna practice my presentation again.”

“I’m excited to see all of your data. I hope more schools will see they should be offering wellness courses.”

Your first session was extremely eye opening for you. You head to bathroom quick, and then go to where Harry’s lecture will be. You weren’t sure where to sit. You knew he hated when people sat in the back of his class, so you knew not to sit all the way in the back. You decide on the fourth row. Not too far back, but not right up front either. You didn’t want to make him nervous. Seats were filling in here and there, which you were happy to see. Harry loved an audience.

“Y/N, is that you?”

“Dr. Pierce!” You gasp and stand up to hug your old friend.

“Please, you know you can just call me Arthur.” He chuckles.

“Old habits, would you like to sit with me?”

“Not saving it for anyone else?”

“No, the person I would be is going to be presenting.”

“Ah!” He says, sitting down next to you. “You know Dr. Styles?”

“I do, we’re colleagues actually. Office neighbors, in fact.”

“Good for you, he’s very bright. I’ve read a lot of his work, it’s refreshing.” He looks you up and down. “You look wonderful, your new institution is treating you well?”

“Very well! Thank you.” You smile. “You don’t look too bad yourself.”

“You’re just saying that.” He runs a hand through his hair. “This kids today are turning my hair white.” He laughs. “That’s why I wanted to check this out. Maybe if I can find a way to make them less stressed, I’ll be less stressed.”

“You’ve definitely come to the right place, Harry is the king of no stress.”

Harry could see the audience filing in from behind a curtain. He smiles when he sees you, and then squints when he sees you speaking with the man next to you. It was clear you knew each other and it wasn’t some stranger sparking up a conversation. He could tell because you nudged him after he made you laugh, something you would only do with a friend. He sighs and pushes his glasses up his nose. He can hear himself being introduced, and then he walks out. The room claps and he nods his head once he’s at the lectern. He was given a lapel mic to wear so everyone could hear him, and a remote to turn his slides. This was he could easily walk around the stage.

“Good morning everyone, I hope you enjoyed your first sessions…or an extremely long breakfast, whichever.” He shrugs and the crowd laughs. “I’m Dr. Harry Styles, and I’m so happy you’ve decided to spend your time with me this morning.”

You smile as he says this. You remember him saying this to his wellness class when you observed it. He said it to them everyone morning.

“I say this to my students every time we meet because even though, much like you, they’ve paid to be there, they still have to make the choice to get up and come to class.” He changes his slide. “I teach a class called Communication, Media, and Wellness, it’s just one of the few I teach, and I only offer it at eight in the morning.” He hears some people make comments and he grins. “My attendance rate is one-hundred percent throughout the semester, wanna know how I do it?” He changes the slide, and shows a picture of his classroom with students, desks in a circle, heads down on the desks. “We take the first ten to fifteen minutes to meditate, and then we do the same with the last five minutes. I give them time to settle in and clear their minds. Some fall asleep, some work on their breathing, and some just listen to me speak.” He changes his slide. “We talk about a lot of things in this class. We talk about what we see on the news, social media, and everything in between. We talk about how those things make us feel. We talk about tactics to help ease our anxiety, and if I’m noticing a particular energy, we break out the yoga mats and do some stretching.” He changes the slide again. “Students today are anxious about everything. They’ve grown up during some really tough times, never truly feeling safe. I’m here to help them learn how to cope.”

Harry goes over some data he’s collected over the last few years. He sends surveys to his previous students every semester until they graduate, and then twice again after they graduate. Everyone that’s taken his class thus far has graduated, and those that haven’t graduated yet all had high GPA’s. He shows comparisons of their GPA before the class (it’s only offered to sophomores and up right now), and their GPA after taking the class. There were only improvements.

“These students are able to take what they’ve learned with me and apply it in other classrooms and in their lives outside the classroom. The biggest thing I explain to them is to not be on their phones before bed, to not even watch TV really. It’s too stimulating, and sometimes it causes anxiety and then you can’t fall asleep.” He changes the slide and the crowd laughs. It was a picture of students presenting Harry with a sign that says ‘NO SCREEN BEFORE BED’. “This group made me this because I must have said it a hundred times that semester. I keep it hung up in my office.” He changes the slide to show students in their place of work after graduation. “Many of the results I got from my graduated students are that they’ve taken things with them. I have students have fallen in love with reading before bed, or they listen to a podcast, or use some type of app that tells them a story at night to help them fall asleep. They they’re able to wake up refreshed and ready for the day. Many of them even wake up and mediate to help them really become alert.” He changes the slide again to a picture of him giving a yoga lesson outside on the quad. “I know this may seem silly, but it really does help these students. Offering a class for credit on this allows them to already build it into their schedule, rather than offering classes at the gym that they really have no obligation or incentive to go to. This is a CM course, but it also counts towards our school’s general education requirement. We call it a Wellness Connection, so any student can take this course. I’ve had such a mix of students take this course, and they’ve all come out better for it. Offering something like this in today’s age is extremely important for our students who are facing so many hardships. I hope you’ll consider implementing some of this into your classrooms.” He looks out to everyone and smiles. “Thank you.”

Everyone claps, and someone else comes out and tell everyone that there’s about fifteen minutes for questions. Harry gets a few and is able to answer them best he can. Once it’s all done he takes a deep breath and sits on the stage. He knew some people would want to come up to him afterwards.

“Will I see you later?” Arthur says to you as you both stand up.

“I’m not sure…I doubt we’ll be at all of the same sessions.”

“Maybe at the bar later then?”

“Maybe.” You smile. “If not…it was really good to see you.”

“You too.” He hugs you again. Harry sees this and furrows his brows.

You grab your things and walk over to him.

“Excuse me, Dr. Styles, I have a question.” You grin.

“And what might that be?” He says, taking his suit jacket off and rolling his sleeve ups.

“How are you so incredible?”

“Y/N.”

“I mean it! I was floored. What incredible data, and it’s all true! It’s all things we notice in our classrooms. I really need to implement that no screen thing into my own life, to be fair I tend to read on my phone, but-“ You realize how fast you’re talking when he raises his eyebrows at you. “Sorry…just a little excited.”

“I’m glad you got a lot out of it.” He smiles. “Who, uh, who was that guy you were sitting with?” He asks as you both walk out of the room.

“What guy? Oh! That was Dr. Pierce, he teaches at my previous institution. It was a nice surprise to see him. He spoke really highly of you too. He said he’s read a lot of your work, which is incredible because I’ve never once heard him say he likes anyone’s work but his own.” You laugh.

“Was he one of your professors?”

“Not necessarily…he was, um, a colleague…” You blush slightly. “I’m headed to the session on…what?”

“Was he the professor you-“

“Harry, now really isn’t the time, okay?” You say quietly. “It was before you and I even knew each other, it doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter when you were sitting with him.” He frowns.

“He’s just a friend.”

“A friend that you-“

“Not the time.” You snap. “You’re not my boyfriend, check yourself.” You huff and walk away from him so you’re not late for your next session.

His mouth falls open, silence coming from him when he tries to call after you. He shakes his head and heads to his next session.

You were so pissed you skipped lunch and went for a walk outside instead. You were barely able to concentrate during your session, and you didn’t answer any of Harry’s texts. Were you acting childish? Maybe, but you hated when men got like this. What the fuck did it matter if that was the professor you slept with? It was so long ago, and the two of you were friends. You didn’t want to sleep with anyone but Harry, couldn’t he see that?

By the end of the say you had calmed down, and you finally answer his text. He had asked you to come up to his room before dinner so you could talk. You knock on his door and he lets you in. He had changed into a pair of jeans a t-shirt, you were in still in your nice clothes.

“Harry, I-“

“Let’s get something straight.” He cuts you off, and you’re a little shocked by his tone. “You were right earlier, I’m not your boyfriend. In fact, I think it would be too soon for a label like that considering it’s only been about a month since we started all this.” He steps closer to you as you had backed away when he started talking. “But what I am is the person that you’re seeing, right? I’m the one who had their head between your legs just a few nights ago, so I don’t wanna hear it. It’s a stupid fucking word that people use to put some type of seriousness on their relationship, and I’ve never really understood it. You’re either with a person or you’re not, plain and simple.” He looks at you. “You acted like a fucking teenager earlier, you realize that right?”

“I was upset.”

“So you ignored me? You said something purposefully hurtful and then walked away? Is this how you handle things? You don’t like when someone says something to you that you don’t like so you shut down?”

“I didn’t shut down! We’re at a fucking conference and you were starting something with me that I told you wasn’t the time to start. We each had a session to get to! Unlike you, I paid to come here, Harry.”

“You still acted like-“

“Do you know much you disrespected me back there? Do you even care? There I was, amazed by you, and all you could care about was the fact that I used to sleep with someone, and I was polite to them. He asked me when he’d see me again and I totally brushed him off because I came here with you and I wanna spend my time with you!”

“You don’t even think it’s a little weird that a guy that much older than you wanted to sleep with you?”

“That’s society! Older men like younger girls, what can I say? Is it sickening at times? Sure! But at the time, when I was twenty-three, I wanted it. I was attracted to him, we got along really well, and I made a move, okay? Me, I made the first move.”

“He should have told you no.”

“But he didn’t! I rode that dick for an entire semester, and then summer happened, and he went across the country to go on sabbatical. It was a brief stint, okay?”

“You’re being vulgar.” He shakes his head.

“That shouldn’t be new to you. You’ve been out with Janette and I enough times to know how I talk. You’re making a big deal out of nothing, and for what? Are you jealous? Is that it? He’s fucked me and you haven’t?”

“I’m not jealous of that.”

“Oh.”

“I’m not jealous of anything, I just didn’t like watching you flirt with him from backstage.”

“I wasn’t…” Your eyes start to water. “I wasn’t flirting with him…I was just being nice…cordial.” You blink a few tears away. “I…need to go, I’ve lost my appetite.” You brush by him as you walk towards the door.

“Y/N.” He sighs. “Don’t go, we can work this out.”

“You basically just said having sex with me wasn’t anything special, so…yeah, I’m leaving.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You said you weren’t jealous of it!”

“Because I’m not! It would be a stupid thing to be jealous over. I may not have fucked you with my prick, but I got in there, I made you orgasm – twice! My main problem-“

“Well, I hope you enjoyed getting in there because it’s not happening again.” You were livid now. “Here I was, putting you on a pedestal for so long, but you’re just like every other guy. You’re an asshole!” You huff and turn towards the door again. “And if I’m acting like a teenager, then that makes you the tallest fucking baby I’ve ever seen in my life!” You leave and slam his door shut.

“You said what to her?!”

“Don’t yell at me! I called for help, Paige, not-“

“No, no, I will yell at you. Where do you even get off getting upset that she was talking to an old colleague?”

“I told you, they used to hook up, and he’s like fifteen years older than her, it’s gross, and I see it as him taking advantage of a young girl.”

“Harry…” Paige sighs. “It doesn’t matter how you see it, it’s how she sees it. She clearly didn’t think anything was wrong with it at the time, you can’t get mad at her for it. It was before you even knew each other. Ugh, this is just like when you punched Ryan Green at that party when you saw him talking to me.”

“Because he was the guy that dated you before me! He shouldn’t have been talking to you in the first place, he knew we were going out.”

“It doesn’t matter, it’s about trust, and not jumping to conclusions. I don’t think I had ever been so mad at you.”

“Yeah…but…you forgave me…”

“And nine months later we got Andy, I know, I know.” She sighs. “You said some real hurtful shit to her. What happened to deep breaths before speaking?”

“I couldn’t help it…”

“You and your green eyed monster.”

“I have to apologize…I feel terrible. I put up a front, and it was like I had no control over anything I was saying. What if she doesn’t want to date me anymore?”

“Then it looks like you’ll have a really awkward drive home in a couple of days.”

“Not funny.”

“I’m not trying to be, that’s the reality you’re facing. Now, from what you told me she said…it sounds like you both have some sorry’s to say. I agree she shouldn’t have ignored you all day, but maybe she just needed to cool off.”

“True…fuck, I really hope I didn’t fuck this.”

“You won’t know until you go down there and talk to her. Bring a peace offering, she’s got a sweet tooth, right?”

Harry taps on your door with one hand, and a boxed Oreo cheesecake in the other. You were in your pj’s already, just a large t-shirt and shorts. You sigh when you see him through the peep hole. You open the door, but only enough for the chain to stay latched.

“Hi.” You say softly.

“Can I come in?” He says just as softly. “I know it doesn’t make up for anything, but I brought cheesecake…”

“What kind?”

“Oreo.”

You close the door and at first he feels defeated, but he hears you slide the latch and you open the door all the way, letting him in.

“Thanks.” He hands the box and the plastic fork to you. He sits down on one of the beds, and you sit across from him, taking a bite.

“Is this from downstairs?”

“No, I went one of the restaurants close by and got it.”

“Oh…thank you…it’s delicious…”

“Good.” You take another bite and set it aside. “You’ve been crying?” Your eyes were red and puffy.

“Balled my eyes out, actually.”

“I’m sorry, I feel terrible.”

“So do I.”

“It was my fault…I did disrespect you, and I lied…I was jealous. I know I have no control over anyone you’ve slept with previously, I just didn’t think I’d be in the same room as them with you acting all buddy-buddy. Why should a guy like that have the privilege of knowing you?”

“Why should you?” You scoff.

“Touché.” He smirks. “Suppose I don’t really deserve that privilege right now.”

“I didn’t know you could say such hurtful things to someone…is that how you are when you’re angry?”

“Not when I’m angry, but…I’ve sort of always had this problem with jealousy. I’ve tried everything to work on it. Believe it or not, I’m way better than I used to be. One time I punched one of Paige’s ex-boyfriend’s right in the face because he was talking to her at a party.”

“Yeah? And how’d she handle that?”

“Um…” His face flushes. “Well…she has her own issues so…uh…well…we got Andy out of it, let’s just leave it at that.”

“Aggression isn’t exactly a turn on for me. I don’t like macho guys who need to assert their dominance like that.” You look down. “I’m sorry I ignored you all day, I’m sure that didn’t feel good, and you probably didn’t like seeing how bratty I can be.” You sigh. “And I cried more so because…I don’t want this to be over, and…-“

“I don’t want it to be over either…it’s barely started.”

“Were you really just trying to look out for me?”

“It was a mix of that and being jealous. I mean…I can’t wrap my head around a forty-one year old guy being able to rock your shit.”

“Harry.” You chuckle. “He was in his late thirties at the time, give him some credit. Besides, who said I was getting my shit rocked? Maybe I was rocking his.” You smirk.

“Y/N.” Harry sighs and lets his head fall back.

“You need to know something, you’re, like, all I think about.”

“Really?” He looks at you again.

“Yeah…I don’t want anyone else, I don’t even know who else I could want, honestly.”

“I really am sorry for how I acted earlier.”

“Me too.” You bite your bottom lip. “But…I don’t wanna be spoken to like that again. I’m not your kid, Har.”

“I know that.” He says defensively.

“You, like, had your dad voice on.”

“I was just speaking sternly so you’d take me seriously.”

“I felt like I was getting a lecture from my father, I don’t need that from you. I think if something goes wrong we need to try to find a way to properly talk about it. It’s not just on you, it’s on me too, obviously. It’s something we can both work on.”

“Okay.”

“Do you wanna get cozy and split the rest of this with me?”

“Thought you’d never ask.” He perks up.

Harry kicks his shoes off and gets on the bed with you. You had some random movie on the TV, and you cutely feed him bites of the cheesecake off your fork.

“Just so you know, sweets can’t buy my affection.”

“It was a peace offering.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah…Paige gave me the idea.”

“What?” Your eyes grow wide. “Harry, you told her we had a fight?!”

“I had no one else to call for help!” He pouts. “Please don’t be mad.”

“I don’t want her knowing anything bad about me…I her want her to trust me with Andy.”

“She does.” He shrugs.

“She does?”

“Yeah…because I trust you.”

“Oh…well, I don’t want you running to her every time we have a disagreement.”

“Well, I was thinking this could be the only one we have.” You laugh at that and so does he. “Sorry, she’s still, like, my best friend, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to call my sister about this.”

“And notice…I’m not all jealous because you’re best friends with your ex.”

“It’s a little different, I’ve got a kid with her.”

“Most people I know who are divorced with kids aren’t as nice to each other.”

“We’re not divorced, we never got married, didn’t I tell you that? Maybe that’s why we don’t hate each other, nothing on paper that legally needed to be divided up.”

“Oh yeah…you did mention that once I think.” You set the box aside since there were only crumbs left, and look up at him. “I think I prefer when we disagree as colleagues better. I feel exhausted.”

“Same here.” He chuckles. “It’s also been a really long day. I should let you get to sleep.”

“Can’t sleep now, I just had all that sugar!” You laugh and crawl into his lap. You sigh as he starts to rub your back. “Can we just stay like this for a little while?”

“I’d like that.”

You nuzzle into his chest, and he rests his chin on the top of your head. You hear him take his glasses off and you look up at him again. You both slowly lean in, lips ghosting over each other, and then you’re kissing softly and slowly.

“Mm, you taste like Oreos.” He smiles against you and then bites down on your bottom lip, sucking it gently. You groan into him and he holds you closer.

“Please.” You breathe. “Can we-“

“I’d like to wait until we get home if that’s alright…we have another day of sessions, and then we’re heading back…we’ll get back late…and I might too tired to even get back to my place, so…”

“So then you’d have to come up to mine, just to be on the safe side.”

“Exactly.” He grins. You groan and then give him a lip smacking kiss.

“Okay, get out of my room.”

He laughs at you and you get off of him. He kisses you again before leaving. He was going to be the death of you.

Things were much better the next day. You both even went to some similar sessions. Luckily, Dr. Pierce was nowhere to be found, so you didn’t run into him. You both decide to skip the awards ceremony since it was mostly for board members anyways so you could hit the road.

“Alright, I’m driving.” You say. “You good with that?”

“Go for it.” He hands you the keys and you get into the driver’s seat.

You didn’t lie when you said you had road rage. Harry nearly had a heart attack every two seconds watching you weave in and out of lanes as you got out of the city.

“Get out of the left lane you fucking asshole!” You yell. “Look at this guy, can you believe it?” You look at Harry. “Let’s go!” You yell before he can say anything.

“Babe! Babe, relax, there’s no rush.” He says, putting his hand on your thigh.

“Wh-what?” Your features soften.

“I know you’re eager to get back, but let’s get there in one piece, yeah?”

“I…” You look at him quickly and then back to the road. “Yeah.” You swallow. Had he not realized that was the first time he called you babe? “Sorry.”

“It’s okay.” He chuckles. “Didn’t realize how badly you wanted to fuck me.” He smirks.

“Shut up.” You roll your eyes as he gives your thigh a squeeze. “You just called me babe…”

“I know.” He nods. “Is that alright?”

“Yes.”

He leans over the console to kiss your cheek and then he sits back. He was really glad nothing got too fucked up between you. He liked you so much, he wanted to keep seeing where this was going.

It was dark by the time you pulled up to your apartment. You had stopped off at the same rest area and had a quick bite. You were sort of shocked that Harry let you drive the whole way, maybe he was saving his energy. You turn the car off and swallow.

“So…you’re coming up?”

“You want me to?”

“Yes.”

He nods and you both get out of the car. He opens the trunk to grab yours and his bags and then he locks the car. He follows you up to your apartment.

“If I could just have a second to go, um, freshen up…feel free to use the hall bath if you need it.” You were blushing, perhaps a little flustered at the prospect of what was to come. He simply nods at you before going to use the other bathroom.

You rush into your own bathroom with your things. You weren’t sure what you should do. Should you bother with a fresh pair of underwear? It was only going to come off…was Harry the type to even care about that sort of thing? Something tells you probably not. So, you just freshen up your deodorant, and put on a little perfume before going back out. He was bent over one of his bags putting his glasses away. You come up to him and slide your hand up his back. He stands up straight and looks down at you.

“You want this?” He asks softly.

“I want you, Harry…”

You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him down to you. Your lips find his and his hands find your hips. He nibbles on your bottom lip, getting a soft moan from you. One of your hands slides up to his hair as he starts walking you back into your room. You both get on the bed and he hovers over you.

“I had a dream sort of like this the other night.” You smile up at him and he smiles back.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm, but I’m already liking this better.”

“Why’s that?” He asks as he takes his shirt off.

“Because this is real and not something I can wake up from.” You run your hands up and down his torso and it sends a shiver up his spine.

He tugs at the hem of your shirt and you sit up so he can take it off. He immediately unhooks your bra to let your breasts free and attaches his hands to them. As he leans back down to kiss you, your hands work to undo his jeans, and you toe them down his legs so he can kick them off. He kisses down your chest, licking over both of your nipples, sucking on one, before kissing his way down your stomach. He undoes your shorts and tugs them down your legs, leaving you in your underwear. It wasn’t your sexiest pair, but he didn’t seem to really care as he started kissing you over them. Your hips buck up. No one had ever really done that to you before. You watch as he watches the wet spot become more damp and he presses his thumb into it. He looks up at you when he hears you gasp.

“I know, you want these to come off, right?”

“Please, Harry.”

He nods and hooks his fingers into your underwear to drag them down your legs. Once you’re fully naked before him he licks his lips like you’re a buffet ready to be devoured.

“There’s something I’d like to do…if you felt comfortable with it.” He says and your eyes light up. You were sort of hoping he was a little freaky.

“What?” You bite your bottom lip in anticipation.

“I’d like to eat you out from behind, can I do that?”

Okay, not as freaky as you thought, but definitely not something guys offered to do often.

“Sure.” You shrug, and roll over onto your stomach. You get up on your knees and elbows and look back at him.

He comes closer to you, holding you close as he kisses on the back of your neck. He works his way down your back, biting you occasionally to get you a little riled up. He bites into your left ass cheek and you grunt. You feel him spread you apart, and you buck forward when you feel his tongue slide between you folds.

“Stay still for me.” He says as he grips your hips, diving back in for more.

You grip at your blankets as you feel his tongue sliding up and down your slit. He adjusts you a little so he can briefly suck on your clit. You moan out when he does so, not wanting him to stop, but he does. His tongue enters you, going in and out, only briefly. You feel his fingers start to rub on your clit as his tongue slides back on your slit, back further, and up to your other hole. Your eyes widen when you feel his tongue there, he doesn’t enter you this way, but he was certainly getting a good lick. You couldn’t find it in you to care because his fingers were sliding into your cunt.

“Oh, fuck.” You groan as he pumps them in and out of you.

You couldn’t remember ever feeling so stimulated before, everything he was doing felt incredible. His tongue stays lapping around your other whole while his fingers fuck you from behind, his thumb rubbing circles into your clit.

“Oh my god, Harry.” You moan. He grunts against you, not letting up for a second.

Your body starts to feel warm all over, and you feel your stomach start to tighten. Your breathing is getting heavier, and you could feel sweat forming on your forehead. He was getting in so deep with just his fingers, and what he was doing with his tongue was sending you.

“H-Harry, I’m gonnaaaa-“ You couldn’t finish your sentence. Your eyes roll into the back of your head as you come around his fingers.

He retracts them and brings his tongue back around your folds to lick you clean. He sucks his fingers into his mouth as you slowly turn around to face him. You were shocked.

“Good?” He smirks.

You grin and tackle him down onto the bed, pinning him down and crashing your mouth to his. You sponge kisses to his jaw and neck and down his chest. He groans when you start grinding over his still covered cock.

“I think these should come off now, don’t you?” You say, already tugging at the band of his boxers.

“Yeah.” He lifts his hips to help you as you tug them the rest of the way down. Just as you’re inching your way down his body he grips your hips and pulls you back up.

“What are you doing?”

“M’not done with you yet.” Yup, he was definitely resting up in the car earlier. You get the gist and raise yourself over his mouth, and lower yourself so his tongue can be on you again.

“Fuck.” You breathe as he sucks on your clit.

You reach behind you to pump his hard dick, and he bucks up into your hand. You use your other hand to tug at his hair. He was moaning against you from the way you were jerking him off and it just added to the sensation on your core. His tongue slips inside you and you essentially start riding it.

“Fuck! Oh my god.” You groan. No one had fucked you like this in a very long time, and he hadn’t even put his dick into yet.

You have to use both hands to grip at your headboard when he starts sucking on your clit again, and slips two of his fingers inside you from behind. You were a mess above him, crying out and whining about how good it felt. You release onto his tongue and he sucks on you until you’ve ridden it out completely. You slowly get off of him and sink down onto the bed. You look at each other for a moment.

“You’re wild.” You chuckle.

“I told you…I can get a little excited.” He leans forward and kisses your forehead. “Do you have any condoms handy? Mine are all packed away…”

“You packed some?” You look up at him with wide eyes.

“Well…I just wanted to be prepared in case anything happened…and then I went fucked it so-“

“Hey.” You cup his jaw. “It’s all good now, okay?” He leans into your touch and kisses your palm.

“Okay.”

“I keep them in the bathroom, just give me one second.” You get up and wobble slightly. Your legs felt like jelly after all that. You rummage through your cabinet below the sink and grab a few…just in case.

“How come you keep ‘em in there?” He asks as you come back out.

“I…don’t need them as often and I keep other things in my night tables.” You shrug and get back on the bed.

He cups your cheeks and brings you back down to him to kiss you. You hand him one of the condoms and toss the others on the night table. You lay on your back and lick your lips as he rolls it on.

“Is this the only form of birth control you use?” He asks as he shuffles to hover over you.

“Yeah…I got off the pill last year.”

“Oh, how come?”

“I just didn’t like the way it made me feel.” You clear your throat. It was the truth, but you also got off it so that if you met someone and got serious you would have an easier time getting pregnant when the time came, but you certainly weren’t going to say that to him. “Is it okay that we use condoms?”

“Yeah, I don’t care, I just don’t know if we had a backup is all.”

He slots his lips over yours and opens your legs up. He runs his fingers over your slit to make sure you’re still wet. He looks down to line himself up with you, and you push his hair away so he can see better.

“You sure?” He asks.

“Yes, Harry.”

He smiles at you and slowly start to push in. Your mouth falls open at the feeling. He was thick, obviously, but holy shit. Not only is he really good at eating out, but his dick felt amazing. How any woman could have ever let him go was beyond you. He grunts once he’s all the way inside you. He gives you a second and then he starts to thrust in and out of you. He props himself up with one arm, and uses the other to hook under one of your legs to drive in a little deeper.

“Oh! That feels good.” You moan as your head rolls back. Your nails dig into his biceps.

“Yeah? Like feeling me this deep? You feel so good, Y/N.” He says into your ear and it makes your eyes roll into the back of your head.

“God, keep talking.” You tug at his hair.

“Could barely concentrate during my presentation the other day.” He says between kissing on your neck and shoulder. “You looked so beautiful.”

“Your confidence up there was so sexy, I was about ready to find a closet or something to blow you in afterwards.”

“Jesus.”

“Would you have liked that? If I just tugged in you somewhere discrete and made you feel good?”

“Yes.” He grunts. He sits up and puts both of your legs over his shoulders and fucks into your hard and fast.

You look up at him wide eyed and reach to scratch at his stomach before your hand lands on your clit. You rub circles into yourself as you both continue making eye contact. With each thrust you could tell he was looking for your g-spot, watching your features to see what feels good. When he hits it you gasp.

“Ha! Right there?”

“Yes, keep doing that, I’m close.” You whine and rub yourself faster.

“Should make you wait, you already had two, greedy.”

“Don’t be mean.” You pout. “Please, Har?”

He grins at you and continues to hit the spot over and over. He could feel you tightening and squeezing around him. You definitely were close.

“Oh! Oh my god! Harry, Harry!” Your back arches and squeeze around him especially hard. When you become too sensitive you pull your hand away from yourself. You thought he wouldn’t be much longer but there he was…rocking in and out of you.

He comes closer to you, burying his face in your neck, slow, precise thrusts. You dig your nails into his ass and he groans. Alright, he liked feeling your nails, this was something you knew for sure now.

“Can I get on top?” You nearly beg.

“Yeah.” He breathes.

He pulls out of you carefully and gets on his back. You swing a leg over him and sink down with ease. You raise and lower on him until you get a groove going. His hands slide up to your breasts and he kneads them. You were surprised he was letting you just ride him and that he wasn’t thrusting up into you, but you appreciated having the control. His hands move your hips and ass, squeezing at different locations. You smirk down at him.

“Can’t decide where I wanna touch you most.” He admits.

“Wanna feel you all over.”

His hands move up to your back and he pulls you down to him so your chests are flush together. He bends his legs at the knee and digs his feet into your bed so he could thrust into you, moving you up and down on him. You kiss on his neck and move to his mouth as you grind on him. You both were moving in sync, and you were getting the best friction against your clit. You weren’t sure if you’d be able to come again, having never had four in one go, but you both were up to the challenge. He moves you faster and faster on him. You have to detach your lips to breathe when you start panting.

“Shit!” You cry out when you feel your release. You rest your head on his chest, and gives you a moment to regain yourself before pulling out. “You…you didn’t come yet.”

“I know, we’re not done.” Your eyes widen at him. “Don’t tell me you’re tired, babe.” He smirks.

“Nope.” You shake your head and grin. “Gimme all you got.”

He flips you onto your stomach, and has you lay flat as he slides in, almost his full weight on top of you. You almost sigh with relief because this was something you had been craving for what felt like ages. Just feeling him full on you, almost crushing you, but in the best possible way. He rocks in and out of you slowly and kisses on your neck and shoulders. It was needy at first, but now things just felt sensual. You feel a little bad he can’t really feel how soaked you are around him.

He slides an arm under your chest to grip one of your breasts, and his other hand snakes just under your pelvis. You gasp when you feel his fingers on your clit. You were overly sensitive now. He was just pressing down, not moving, and applying pressure. His hips move in circles and your mouth falls open. He was really stretching you out now. Your hips move with him, and he starts moaning softly.

“Love feeling you like this.” He says into your ear.

“Me too.” You whimper. Now his fingers rub circles into your clit with same motion as both of your hips, big and slow. “Harry.”

“Shh, I know you’ve got one more in you. This time we’re gonna do it together, how does that sound?”

“Sounds good.” You groan.

Between his breath in your ear, his fingers on your clit, his other fingers tweaking your nipple, and his cock working wonders inside you, you had no idea how you hadn’t melted into a puddle on your bed and evaporated into thin air.

“H-Harry, I-“ You squeeze around him and he bites hard on your shoulder.

This sends you over the edge you cry out loudly. You practically scream his name, which helps him meet his own end. It was so hot, you could feel his come through the condom. He kisses down your back as he pulls out, and you wince.

“Sorry.” He mumbles as he gets off your bed. “M’just gonna take care of this in the bathroom.”

“Be my guest.” You breathe. You push yourself up and waddle to the hall bath. Your shit hadn’t be rocked quite like that in a long time, if ever.

When you come back into your room he was grabbing a fresh pair of boxers from his bag and sliding them up his legs. His glasses were back on his face, and he was rummaging for his toothbrush.

“You have toothpaste I can use?” He asks, pushing his glasses further up his nose.

“Mhm.” You nearly squeak. Your voice was hoarse. “Just let me do my thing and then it’s all yours.” You sounded like you had gravel in your throat it made him beam at you.

Harry goes into the bathroom after you, and you throw a large t-shirt on and get into bed. You were nervous, a guy hadn’t stayed over with you in this apartment yet. And you had been living there a year! He comes out and slides into bed with you.

“It’s alright I’m staying?”

“Yeah, why?”

“You’re as stiff as a board.” He chuckles. “Here I was thinking I loosened you up.”

“Harry.” You breathe. “Please, I’m exhausted.” He laughs at that and leans over to turn your light off. He pulls you to lay on his chest.

“You don’t do this often, do you?”

“No…I get nervous sleeping next to people.”

“Why?”

“Because, like, what if I roll over too much and wake you up, or snore, or talk in my sleep, or what if I…don’t look cute when I wake up.”

“Y/N.” Harry laughs. “You’re talking about things that all people do, it’s okay.”

“I also really like to get wrapped up in my blankets…like a burrito.” You mumble the last part.

“Well, you know I like holding onto something, so why don’t I be your burrito tonight?”

“Really?”

“Yeah, let me wrap you up, we’ll get all snug.”

You smile and peck his lips before turning over. He spoons you nice and tight to him, his limbs slung over yours, blankets cozy around the both of you. You sigh happily.

“This is nice.” You whisper.

“I agree.” He whispers back.

“You…have a lot of stamina.”

“Surprised?”

“A little.” You chuckle. “Good surprise though.”

“Did you like everything I did?”

“Yes, very much.”

“Even the stuff at the beginning.”

“I was very surprised by that, but it felt good with everything else you were doing.”

“Good, so you weren’t freaked out?”

“Nope.” You adjust closer to him. “I’m pretty open to trying things. I would have told you if I didn’t like something.”

“Everything just felt right with you.” He nuzzles his face into the back of your head.

“I feel the same way.”

Everything would be different now, but that wasn’t necessarily a bad thing. You had never connected physically like that with someone before. You were falling for him, hard, to say the least.

You wake up just as you did the night you went camping with Harry. His body pressed close to yours, and his breath on the back of your neck. You could hear light snores coming from him. The clock on your bed side table reads 9:30. You sigh and adjust against him, hoping to maybe fall back asleep. His arm pulls you closer to him, and you turn onto your back to look up at him. He blinks a few times before looking down at you. He smiles and opens his mouth to speak, and as if on cue, his phone starts buzzing.

“It’s Andy.” There’s a slight sigh. “Do you mind if I take it?”

“No, go ahead.” You giggle. That kid sure had impeccable timing.

“Hello?”

“Hey, Dad!”

“Hi, buddy, why you calling so early?” He knuckles at one of his eyes and sits up.

“Says the guy that gets up before sunrise every day.” Andy scoffs. “How was New York, did your presentation go well?”

“It was good, yeah, a lot of people showed up, I was surprised. Got asked some good questions.”

“Did Y/N come?”

“She sure did.” Your jaw drops and you smack Harry’s chest. He chuckles softly.

“So, is she your girlfriend yet, or what?”

Harry’s face loses all color and he clears his throat.

“Uhhh, I don’t know yet, um, could I call you later, Andy?”

“Why, are you busy?”

“A little.”

“Doing what?”

“I’m just tired, we got back late last night, and then…I didn’t fall asleep until later. Not really awake enough for a full conversation.”

“Fine.” He sighs. “Call me later, love you.”

“Love you too.” Harry puts his phone down and looks at you. “Sorry, he doesn’t understand how this stuff works…”

“What stuff?”

“Like…dating timeframes. You know how kids are, they think you go out on one date and that makes someone your boyfriend or girlfriend.”

“Labels really scare you, huh?” You sit up and look at him, covering your upper half with the blanket.

“No, that’s not it, I just don’t want you to feel rushed or pressured.” Your features soften at that.

He was right, it had only been a month, it was probably a little soon to rush into the boyfriend/girlfriend label. You shuffle over to sit in his lap, and you lay your head on his shoulder. He holds you close and rubs your back. You start laughing.

“What?”

“I can’t believe you said that to him.”

“Oh, he didn’t pick up on the innuendo, s’fine.” He kisses the top of your head. “Sleep alright?”

“Mhm, did you?”

“Yeah, like you a lot better than my body pillow.” You both laugh at his dumb joke. “What are you doing today?”

“Hmm.” You look up at him. “Laundry for sure, grocery shopping…I’ve got some reading to catch up on, you?”

“Bout the same. Could we have a shower and some breakfast? Then I’ll get out of your hair.”

“That sounds great.” You kiss his cheek. “But no hanky panky in there, I’m throbbing and not in a good way.”

“Sorry.” His cheeks grow red.

“No! It’s okay, I just...you had me all over the place, and your dick is really big. Not complaining at all, it was just a lot all at once.”

“I…may have been a little excited.”

“No skin off my nose, I’d rather have it like that anyways.” You kiss his nose and get off of him. You extend your hand out and lead him to the bathroom to start your shower.

“You bitch! You can’t just say he spent the night and not give me details!” Janette says over FaceTime later that evening. “I’ve missed everything!”

“When you get back we can go out for drinks. I don’t think he’d like it very much if I spilled the beans. I’m not sure what we’re telling people…if we’re telling people.”

“It’s been about a month, right? You could tell people you’re seeing someone.”

“Other than my brother you’re the first person I’ve told.”

“Please, just tell me this…did you go to sleep happy?”

“Very.” You smirk and she squeals.

“God, I’ve missed you.”

“I miss you too.”

A few days pass, and you end up going to Boston for your birthday. You and Harry have spoken, of course, but you haven’t been able to see each other. He was really bummed because he wanted to take you out to dinner.

“Can I take you out for a night on the town when you get back?”

“I’d like that.”

Harry was one of the sweetest guys you had ever dated, and you felt really lucky. Your parents and brother and Julian were all taking you out for dinner at one of your favorite Chinese food places in the city.

“How was New York, honey?” Your mom asks.

“It was great! I learned a lot. I’m really glad I went, there were so many good sessions.”

“And you went with one of your colleagues?” Your dad asks.

“Mhm.” You say, sipping your drink. You and Phil make eyes at each other and you swallow hard. “We’re…well, we’re sort of seeing each other.”

“Oh?” Your mom gasps and then she smiles. “Where the hell is he then? You didn’t invite him o your birthday dinner?”

“Mum…it’s a bit soon for him to meet the family, it’s only been a little over a month since we’ve started going out.”

“How long have you known him?” Your dad asks.

“Almost a year. He’s my office neighbor, so we’ve been friends a while.”

“Well, I’m just tickled pink! It’s been ages since you’ve had a boyfriend.” Your mom beams.

“He’s not my boyfriend, not officially, anyways. We’re just dating, seeing how it goes.”

“What’s the problem? He should want to snatch you up.” Your dad says.

“He needs to be really selective with who he gets serious…he sort of has a kid…” You mumble.

“A kid?!” They both say.

“How old is this man?” Your mom asks.

“Only thirty-two, Phil’s age.”

“How old is the kid? Must be young.” Your dad says.

“He’s eleven, actually…they had him young. I’ve met his mom, she’s really nice. She has a serious boyfriend who has a daughter. Harry’s son’s name is Andy, and he’s very sweet.”

“So, you’ve met him?” Your mom asks.

“Oh, sure. Harry has to bring him to work sometimes. I’ve gone hiking with them too.”

“Yeah, Y/N went camping overnight with them.” Phil says with a grin. “Think that was when he finally had the balls to ask her out. Shared a tent and everything.”

“I’m never telling you anything ever again.” You groan.

“I think next time we come up for a visit we should meet this man. I mean, you really want to get involved with someone with a kid in middle school? What if things get really serious, and then you find out he doesn’t wanna deal with having a baby again? I know it’s your choice, but you’ve always said you wanted a baby, I don’t want you wasting your time with someone who won’t give that to you.” Your mom says.

“Wow, a lecture on my birthday, what a gift.”

“We just want to make-“ Your dad starts but you cut him off.

“Look, I get I’m the baby of this family, but I’m not stupid, I know what I’m doing. It’s taken me a year to open my eyes and heart up to him, and I can’t believe the time I already wasted not being with him. He’s…he’s amazing, and kind, and exactly what I want in a guy. If things get more serious then I’m sure the topic of babies will come up, and we’ll talk about it then. I’ll let you meet him when I think it’s time, not when you do.” You huff. “Now, can we please enjoy this lo mein? It’s delicious.”

Phil invites you to spend the night at his place after dinner, which you’re thankful for. You didn’t want to be lectured anymore. Just as you’re crawling into bed you get a FaceTime request from Harry.

“Hey!” You say a little too excitedly.

“Hey, birthday girl. Have I said happy birthday enough times to you today? How about one more: happy birthday, Y/N.” You bite your bottom lip as you smile.

“Thank you, Harry. You’re so sweet.”

“I can’t wait to see you, I think you’ll like what I have planned.”

“I can’t wait too.”

“Andy made you a card, I saw him today and he gave it to me to give to you.”

“Aw, he’s so cute. He’ll be home with you pretty soon, huh?”

“Yeah, couple more weeks.”

“Listen, um…I sort of told my parents about us tonight…I hope that’s alright.”

“You did?” He perks up.

“Yeah, they wanna meet you soon, is that weird?”

“I don’t know, is it weird that my mum and sister are dying to video chat with you?”

“You told them about me?” You swoon.

“Course I did…a little while ago, when I was still keeping how I felt to myself…think it was after Andy’s birthday party.” He rubs the back of his neck.

“You’re so cute, Harry.” You smile. “What are you doing tomorrow?”

“Noah asked me to lunch…for some reason. Should be interesting. What about you?”

“Phil’s cooking for me all day to try out some new recipes.”

“Lucky duck.” You giggle at that.

“I’m tired so I’m gonna go to sleep, but I’m really happy you called. It’s nice to see your face.”

“It’s nice to see yours too. See you in a couple days.”

“Goodnight.”

Harry met Noah at a casual seafood place for lunch. They sat outside, and both ordered a beer with their lunches.

“So…not that I don’t like hanging out, but usually we do it with the kids around. What’s this all about?”

“Getting right to it, huh?” Noah chuckles. “Well…I guess, how do you feel about me, H?”

“How do I feel about you?” Harry laughs. “Well, if I were a prick I’d say you annoy me because you’re the guy fucking the mother of my kid, but I’m not so I won’t say that.” He smirks as Noah’s face falls. “Jesus, relax, mate, I’m teasing. I like you, obviously. You’re good to Andy, and to Paige.”

“You scared me for a second there.” He clears his throat. “We all have a nice thing going, this blended family thing.”

“Yeah, I’d say it’s all working out as well as it can.”

“Paige and I have been together for three years now, and we live together, and Rachel loves her to pieces, Andy too.” Harry hums his response and takes a sip of his beer. “We’ve chatted a bit, I know what she wants, so…I’m planning to propose next week.” Harry nearly chokes on his drink just as the waitress comes over with his food. “Sorry…”

“No, uh, no, uh, you just caught me by surprise.” He clears his throat. “Why are you telling me this? You want my blessing or something?”

“Sort of…look, after my wife, well…” He tears up slightly. “I never thought I’d fall in love again, and I love Paige so much. She’s been a great mother figure to Rach, not that I would let her forget her actual mother. If I’m going to be Andy’s step-dad, I wanna make sure his actual dad is okay with it.”

“Y-yeah, I’m okay with it.” Suddenly the food he was starving for made him feel sick. “Um, thanks for letting me know.”

“Of course!”

“Have you talked with her father?”

“God no.” He scoffs. “Would rather ask for forgiveness instead of permission with him. Besides, I think your blessing would mean more to her than his. I know how much she cares about you still, H.”

“Right.”

Harry does his best to make it through his lunch, but he gets most of it wrapped up, assuring Noah he just wasn’t that hungry. When he gets home, and puts his food in the fridge, he grips the counter and starts crying. He wasn’t sure what suddenly came over him, but there he was, alone in his kitchen, sobbing. It wasn’t that he wanted to be with Paige in that way, it just felt like a kick to the gut. He knew she would say yes to Noah, but she had said no to him. She didn’t love him enough to stay. She loved Noah more than him. Harry had you now, sure, but what if you’d never love him, or if you did, would you love him enough to stick it out?

You were very excited for your night out with Harry. You weren’t sure where he was taking you for dinner, but you wanted to look nice, so you go with a black dress that flows around your thighs. Your hair is down and wavy, and your make up is just on point tonight.

Harry: I’m here

You’re a little surprised that he didn’t ring your buzzer like he’s been doing, but you shrug it off. You’re even more surprised that he’s sitting in his car. Since you started dating he’s been waiting for you outside. You open the car door and get in.

“Hi.” You say brightly and kiss his cheek.

“Hey.” He gives you a soft smile.

“Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m fine, why?”

“No reason…”

He pulls onto the street and heads towards the local movie theater that wasn’t really used for normal movies. It was a place for live bands, dinner and a show, sometimes they’d show old black and white films and someone would come to play the piano live, that sort of thing.

“We’re going to the Flying Elephant?” You ask excitedly.

“Yeah, I thought it would be fun to eat and listen to some music.” He mutters.

He was off, you could tell he was trying to seem happy and excited, but something was definitely wrong. What could have happened in the last twenty-four hours? Your eyes widen you remember he had lunch with Noah yesterday, did they get into an argument?

Harry parks the car, and this time he opens the door for you like he usually would. He gives you a peck on the lips and smiles.

“You look really nice.” He says.

“Thank you.” You smile.

He leads you inside and one of the workers scans the tickets he got for the show. You follow him up to the small balcony where your table was. You had never been to an event at the Flying Elephant, but you had mentioned a couple of times that you would like to, so you thought this was very thoughtful.

“What kind of music is it tonight?”

“Jazz I think, but, like, the fun kind, big band style.”

“Oh, fun!”

A waiter comes over with your favorite bottle of white, two glasses, and a basket of bread. He says he’ll be back soon to take your order. Harry had clearly planned a lot of this out, so what was his problem?

“Got your favorite.” He smiles as you clink your glasses. “Happy birthday.”

“I see that, thank you, Harry.” You each take a sip, and then look at the menu. “Oh! They have a tofu marsala, that sounds nice.”

“I’ve had that here before, it’s really good.”

The waiter comes back and you both end up ordering the same thing. You take another sip of your wine and look around at the other people filling in. Harry’s quiet more than usual, so you decide to speak up.

“How was your lunch with Noah yesterday?”

“Huh? Oh…um, it was good.” He shrugs. “Nothing really to report.”

“So, did he just wanna hang out or something?”

“Yeah.”

“Harry…” You reach across the table and take his hand, giving it a squeeze. “Are you sure everything’s okay? We didn’t need to come tonight if something’s going on…”

“No! No, everything’s fine…I’m just in a funk I guess, I’m sorry. It has nothing to do with you, but I don’t really wanna talk about it.”

“Alright.” You sigh.

“I’m glad we’re here tonight, together.”

“Are you nervous about classes starting soon?”

“No.” He chuckles. “That’s, like, the least of my worries right now. Really, it’s fine, I’m just in my head about something stupid.”

“Well…if you feel like talking about it I’m here for you.” You smile softly.

“Thanks.” He gives you’re a hand a squeeze.

Luckily when your food comes out the music starts, and the tension breaks a bit. The band sounded incredible, and you both were having a wonderful time. A couple of the performers told jokes between sets, which had everyone in the audience hollering. Harry had the waiter bring a cupcake over to your table with a little candle in it for dessert. Birthdays weren’t really a bid deal to you, but it meant so much that he put so much effort in. You blow your candle out and split the cupcake with him.

“That was so much fun, thank you so much.”

“I’m glad you had a good time, babe.” He puts his hand on your thigh as he drives you back home.

You relax a little at the pet name. You desperately wanted to know what was bothering him, but you didn’t want to push him since he said he didn’t want to talk about it. He pulls up to your building and turns the car off with a sigh.

“If you don’t feel like coming up you don’t have to…”

“No, I want to. I wanna spend time with you.” He smiles and gets out of the car, and opens your door for you.

“Can I get you anything?” You ask as you get into your place.

“Just a glass of water would be great.” He says, sitting down on the couch. You fill a glass for the both of you and him his when you come to sit with him. “Thanks.” He says as he takes a sip.

“The band sounded great, I’d like to do that again sometime.”

“Definitely. They show film festivals there sometimes too. I usually give my classes extra credit if they go.”

“Fun! I love a good film festival, what do they show?”

“All of the shorts nominated for Oscars usually. All of the animated ones too, it’s great. Although, usually they’re all really somber for whatever reason.”

“People probably figure sadness will get them the nom.” You roll your eyes. “I think it takes more skill to make someone laugh, but that’s just me.”

“A lot of the comedies I’ve seen have had some of the darkest or saddest moments.”

“That’s what I’m saying! Comedies can be really gut-wrenching.” You sip your water and set it down on the coffee table. He does the same, but twiddles his thumbs.

“Har, you’re killing me.”

“Why?”

“Because something’s wrong and you’re making me nervous.”

“It doesn’t have anything to do with you…”

“I know, but you’re here with me now, and you’re not all the way here. Just talk to me, please?”

“I…it’s stupid.”

“It’s not if it’s making you feel bad.” You put your hand on his shoulder. “Whatever it is you can tell me.”

“At lunch yesterday Noah told me that he’s going to propose to Paige. He invited me out to get basically get my blessing or some shit.” He runs a hand through his hair. “Apparently they’ve spoken about it, so she’s going to say yes, which is good, they make a great couple.”

“So…what’s the problem?”

He looks at you, eyes glossy.

“I don’t know.” He whispers and shakes his head.

“Are you…sad that things are going to be so official between them?”

“Maybe…I mean, I don’t want her in that way, you have to know that, Y/N. I’m not sad because I’m in love with her or anything, those feelings have long since left, but…it just sucks, like, it’s just a reminder that I wasn’t worth sticking it out for or something. It brings back to such a shitty time in my life, you know?”

“Oh, Harry.” You rub at his back. “I’m so sorry…”

“it didn’t work for a reason, we were both really young, and she…she told me she wasn’t in love with me anymore, for whatever reason, I mean Andy was a total accident, I don’t know if she and I would have lasted with or without him. It’s not like we were a perfect match. I think we were always better as friends, but I was stubborn about it. When we hooked up those few times after things ended, that was me going to her, not her coming to me. I was so lost, you know? Look at me, it’s been over ten years, and it feel likes it happened yesterday all over again.” He sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose.

“I get it, this is a big change that’s going to happen.” You chew your bottom lip. “I had a high school sweetheart, the kind that I thought I was going to be with forever and marry and have kids with. But when it came time for us to go to college we ended it to give ourselves some freedom. Well, about a month into school I go on Facebook and see he’s in a relationship with this girl that he had started talking to over the summer while we were still together. It crushed me. Now he’s married to her or whatever. It sucks when you thought you were someone’s number one, and it turns out you weren’t…but I also believe that things happen for a reason. I wasn’t meant to be with him, and maybe you weren’t meant to be with Paige. I think we all go through things on journeys that lead us to the person we’re supposed to be with.” He looks at you and blinks. “Sorry, I hate when I’m feeling like shit and someone tries to use their own story to relate because we all know that doesn’t do anyone any good, and I know I could never really know the feelings involved with having a kid with someone, but-“

He cups your cheeks and brings you close to him. He slots his mouth over yours and your eyes flutter closed. He gently sucks on your bottom lip and you groan into him. He lets go of you and smooths some hair away from your face.

“Thank you.” He smiles. “What you said did make me feel better.”

“Your feelings are valid, Harry, don’t discount them. I know it’s sort of awkward to talk to me about, but I don’t want you to feel like you’re going this alone.”

“The more I talk about it, I just feel silly. I’m happy for them, truthfully. He just sort of sprung it on me, but it all makes sense now looking back on it, like, why he’d wanna meet up alone.”

“Pretty respectful of him, not everyone would check in with the ex.”

“I know, it was really kind of him to consider my feelings. I’m sorry it put me in such a funk, I hope I didn’t ruin our evening.”

“You didn’t, it was really nice. Clearly you put a lot of effort in.” You cup his cheek and rub your thumb over his cheekbone. You peck at his lip and smile. “I think I’m too full to do anything, but if you wanna stay and cuddle…”

“I’d like that.” He smiles. “Sure you don’t mind?”

“No, I want you here. We can get cozy, watch a little TV, and pass out.”

“That sounds amazing.”

A couple of days later.

Andy stood there inside with Rachel watching through the glass door as Noah got down on one knee and proposed to Paige. He grimaced as he heard her squeal and nod her head yes as he slipped the ring on her finger.

“Can you believe it?! Now we’ll really be brother and sister.” Rachel beams at Andy before running outside to congratulate the two.

Paige looks around and frowns when she sees Andy walk away from the glass and further into the house.

“I’m gonna go talk to him, one second.” She says to Noah and Rachel. She goes upstairs and taps on his door before entering. “Hey.”

“Hi.” He was sitting on his bed hugging a pillow to his chest. Harry used to do the same thing. She sighs at the sight, and sits on the edge of the bed.

“Wanna tell me what’s going on? You’re not happy for me?”

“I just don’t understand how all of this works.”

“How what works, honey?”

“Being in love. You didn’t wanna marry Dad, but you wanna marry Noah? What’s wrong with Dad?”

“Oh, Andy, nothing’s wrong with Dad. I love Dad, but…we were so young when we had you and-“

“You say that like you were sixteen, you were twenty-two mom, almost twenty-three, it’s not that young.”

“When you get to be that age maybe you’ll see that it is actually a really young age to have a baby.”

“Whatever.”

“Andy.” She sighs. “I don’t really know how to explain it, I just didn’t see a future with your Dad. I didn’t wanna be the wife of a college professor. At the time, Dad put his studies over everything and I just couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. I became resentful, and I fell out of love with him. I wanted something else. Noah and I have a much better connection. Dad and I are good friends, which is great and helpful when it comes to you, but I haven’t seen him as anything more in a long time. Did you think we were going to get together?”

“No, I knew you and Noah would end up getting married, I just didn’t think so soon.”

“It’s a big change, I know…but really not a lot is going to change. He’s just gonna be my husband instead of my boyfriend.”

“He’s gonna be my step-dad.”

“Sure, but you can still just call him Noah. He doesn’t expect you to call him Dad or anything.”

“Good, because Dad is who I call Dad.” He huffs. “Rachel refers to you as Mum sometimes.”

“Does that bother you?”

“It doesn’t bother you?!”

“No…I told she could call me whatever she wants. I don’t mind it. I mean…I am sort like a mom to her. Is this why you like living with Dad more? You think we’re becoming a family without you?”

“No.” He mumbles. “I like being in school with Brandon…and Dad…like, Dad knows how to do my hair the way I like, and he takes me on fun trips, and he helps me with my homework.”

“I help you with your homework.”

“Yeah, but you’re not a teacher. He knows how to explain things to me better than you, and as much as I’ve liked swimming all the time, it’s boring just going to the lake every day. I’ve barely been hiking this summer.”

“You could have told me, I would have had Dad come get you for a weekend.”

“Yeah, just for a weekend. I hate going back and forth, Mum, I hate it so much. I just wanna live in one place.”

“Well, I’m sorry, that’s just not an option. I’d miss you too much. I missed you so much last year only seeing you on weekends.”

“Yeah? How do you think Dad felt before I got to live with him?”

“Andy, don’t speak to me like that. I’m trying to-“

“Well, stop. Just stop trying.” Tears well up in his eyes. “I wanna go home now, I don’t wanna stay here for another two weeks, I wanna go home now.” Tears were streaming down his cheeks.

“Honey…I don’t know if Dad can-“

“Then call him.” He wipes tears from his eyes. “I don’t wanna be here anymore.” He looks away from Paige and it breaks her heart.

She wasn’t sure what to do. Should just give in and let him do his thing, or should she just give him what he wants. She didn’t want him to resent her, or make him think he was held hostage here.

“Okay, I’ll call your father.”

She stands up and leaves the room. She goes downstairs where Noah and Rachel are.

“Where’s Andy? I thought we could all go get ice cream to celebrate.”

“Andy wants to go home, I need to call Harry.” She grabs her phone off the counter and goes down the hall to the office.

You and Harry were out for a walk by the river to watch the sunset. It was really romantic. You had stopped to kiss each other when he felt the buzzing in his pocket. He sighs and rests his forehead against yours as he fishes his phone out of his pocket.

“It’s Paige, do you mind, babe?”

“No, go ahead.”

“Thanks.” He swipes to take the call. “Hello?”

“Hi.” She sniffles.

“Hi…um, are you alright?”

“No.” She swallows. “Andy wants to go home, to your home. He doesn’t want to wait two more weeks.”

“What happened? Is he alright?”

“He…he’s not happy with me. Um, Noah proposed…and I said yes.”

“Congratulations.” He says it sincerely, but he rolls his eyes.

“Thanks.” She sighs. “Andy and Rachel saw from inside the house, and he went right up to his room, and then he started saying all these things, and then he started crying and now I’m crying, and I…I don’t know what to do Harry, he hates me!”

“He doesn’t hate you.”

“It’s like he doesn’t want me to be his mom anymore. He doesn’t want me.”

“He wants you, he just…might not want everything else.”

“That’s not fair. I deserve to be happy too. Ugh, you should have heard him. ‘Dad’s better at helping with homework. Dad takes me on fun trips’. I felt like a piece of shit.”

“You do plenty of fun things with him. He’s just…it’s a lot that’s changing.”

“Not really. The living situation is staying the same, I’ll just have a husband instead of a boyfriend. God, I wonder if he’s scared I’ll want another baby…”

“I mean…do you?”

“No! One was plenty, I’m too old.”

“You’re only thirty-four.”

“The store’s closed.”

“Okay, Paige.” Harry rolls his eyes again. You find a bench to sit down at to give him a little more privacy. “What do you want me to do, do you want me to come get him?”

“I guess so, I’m not gonna make him stay here if he doesn’t wanna be here, but I can’t not see him, Harry. We have to keep the weekend arrangements.”

“And we will. Maybe once he’s with me for a bit he’ll calm down. He’s a preteen now, maybe his hormones are starting to act up.” He runs a hand through his hair and looks over at you. “I can be there in like forty minutes, tell him to get his shit together. He’s gonna get a stern talking to, I can tell you that much.”

“Don’t angry with him.” She sniffles again.

“I can’t have him making you cry.”

“But he was crying, and-“

“You just got engaged, he could have acted better. He’s too old to be acting like that. I’ll be there soon.”

“Thank you, Harry.”

He sighs and comes over to you.

“I’m so sorry, I have to go pick up Andy, do you mind if we go?”

“Of course!”

You and Harry jump into his car and make your way to Paige’s house. When he pulls up he leaves the car running.

“Do you mind just waiting here a moment?”

“Not at all.” You smile and he nods.

He goes up to the front door and rings the bell. The door flies open and Andy practically flings himself onto Harry.

“Start putting your things in the trunk, I need to speak with your mother.”

“About what?”

“Andy.”

“Great, so you’re mad at me to?!”

“No one’s mad at you.” Paige says as she comes into view.

“Go put your things in the trunk, and then come back into the house the three of us are gonna have a chat.”

“Here, I’ll-“

“Let him do it, he wants to come home so bad, he can load his shit up.” Harry huffs and goes inside.

Andy was stunned, but he does as his dad says. When he opens the trunk he grins.

“Hi, Y/N!”

You turn around and give him a smile. A smile that says it’s good to see him, but he better not lollygag. Once Andy gets all of his things in the car, he goes inside and down to the office where Harry and Paige were waiting for him. Harry was leaning against the desk with his arms crossed, and Paige was sitting on the couch.

“I’m very disappointed in you.” Harry starts. “Your mum just got engaged, and you couldn’t even say congrats?”

“Right, because you look thrilled.” Andy scoffs. Harry and Paige look at each other and then back to Andy.

“You better check your attitude, or you’re gonna wish you were staying here. You can’t run from your problems, Andy. I’m glad you’re coming home, but it doesn’t change anything. Mum’s still marrying Noah. He’s gonna be your step-dad, and Rachel’s gonna be your step-sister. That’s just the way of it.”

“Noah loves you, Andy, and so does Rachel. I don’t understand, I mean, it’s been three years…”

“He’s not my dad, and she’s not my sister.” He huffs, crossing his own arms. “I don’t love them.” He could feel tears forming in his eyes again.

“I think…” Harry starts. “Maybe it’s time you start seeing Dr. Gardner again.”

“No!”

“Andy, you clearly have things going on that you can’t articulate to us, maybe talking to someone else could help.”

“I agree with Dad.” Paige speaks up.

“Of course you do, you’re always quick to pass me off so I don’t have to disturb your perfect life!”

“You said you wanted to go to Dad’s!” She stands up. “What did you want me to do, say no?”

“I don’t know! Even when I said I wanted to live with him you just let it happen!”

“Because you put up a fight when I even thought about saying no!”

“Whatever, I like living with him better anyways. I had the best year at school I’ve had in a long time, I have way better friends, and I can actually have a conversation with him.” He hands ball into fists. “I…I…I ha-“

“Don’t, Andy.” Harry interjects. “If you say that, there’s no taking it back.”

“God, fuck this!” Andy storms out of the room. Noah had taken Rachel for ice cream, so luckily they weren’t witnessing any of this.

“Andy!” Paige and Harry say at the same time.

“Hey!” Harry grabs Andy’s arms. He tries to yank it free, but Harry’s much stronger. “We don’t speak like that, do you understand me?”

“Stop talking to me like I’m a baby!”

“Then stop acting like one!”

“Harry.” Paige says. “Stop yelling at him. It’s not going to solve anything. Andy, you can’t speak like that to us, it’s not right. Dad and I have been breaking our backs trying to do everything we can to make you happy. We haven’t asked for much in return. I really want to marry Noah, but I won’t if it makes you that upset.”

“What?” Andy’s features soften and Harry lets go of him.

“I won’t marry him if it upsets you that much.”

“Paige…” Harry says.

“But…then you’d be unhappy, Mum.” Andy says. “I don’t want that.”

“We should have talked more about what it would mean if he and I got engaged and all that, I’m sorry I didn’t include you in those conversations.”

“I’m just confused about a lot right now…” Andy looks away. “I’m sorry for how I acted…it’s great that he wants to marry you.” He looks at Harry. “Can I still come home with you?”

“Yes.” Harry sighs. “Go get in the car, I’ll be out in a minute.”

Andy gives his mother a hug quickly, which surprises her, and then out the door he goes. Harry and Paige look at each other.

“What else do you think is going on with him?” Harry asks.

“I have no idea. I wish I did. I try to talk with him, get him to open up, but he’s very selective.”

“I’ll see if I can have a more relaxed chat with him. He’s only going into sixth grade, he shouldn’t be this moody.”

“Let me know when he wants to come back next…”

“I will. I’m sorry he spoiled everything.”

“He didn’t, they’re bringing me back a big old sundae, and I’m gonna stuff my face.” She smiles. “Look.” She holds the ring up. “Got my style just right.”

“It’s beautiful.” He smiles. “You know, Noah had a chat with me about all this, wanted my blessing and everything.”

“Really?” Her eyebrows raise. “Well, thank you for telling him it was okay.” She says facetiously. “Do you know if he spoke to my father?”

“He did not.”

“Good.” They both laugh. “Thank you…I don’t know how I’d handle him without you sometimes.”

“What are co-parents for?” He hugs her. “I’ll call you in a couple days, yeah?”

“Sounds good.”

Harry comes out to the car where you and Andy were sitting in an awkward silence.

“Sorry bout that.” Harry says as he buckles up.

“No worries.” You smile.

“Do you mind if I drop you at your place, need to have some alone time with that one.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.”

Harry looks in the backseat, and sees Andy with his chin resting in his palm. He sighs and faces forward again. He pulls onto the street, and makes his way home. Harry drops you off, and walks you to your door.

“I’m sorry about all this.”

“Hey, it comes with the territory.” You shrug. “Shit happens.”

“I’ll have less time to spend with you sooner than I thought…”

“Harry, don’t worry about me. Once school starts we’ll see each other every day. We’ll make time for date nights later, go take care of things with him. Seems like he really needs you right now.”

Harry kisses your cheek and gets back in the car. It’s silent until they get home. This time he helps Andy with his things. Once it’s all settled, they both sit in his room to chat. They each sit crisscross, holding pillows to their chests.

“Whenever you’re ready.” Harry says softly. “I know there’s gotta be more to all this.”

“There is.” He sighs. “It’s just…I feel like everyone around me is finding their true love.”

“What do you mean?”

“Mom has Noah, you have Y/N now, and…Brandon, ugh, Brandon started dating this girl Molly…she’s in our class, and they go to the same camp, and he told me they, like, kissed, and…now I feel like he’s never gonna make time for me anymore. I always thought relationships were for adults…I didn’t know he liked girls…I don’t like girls like that…not yet anyways.”

“Oh, Andy…it’s okay that you don’t like anyone yet, and this Molly girl isn’t Brandon’s true love. Odds are they won’t last long. You’re only eleven.”

“When he called me to tell me he was so excited he had his first kiss…and I felt…sick.”

“Sick?”

“Yeah, like, my stomach felt weird like I was going to throw up, and my chest started to hurt. I thought it was my asthma, so I took my inhaler, but it didn’t help.” Harry’s eyes grow wide. Andy was describing heartbreak.

“What did you say to him when he told you?”

“I told him that it was cool or whatever…but that was a lie.”

“It made you feel achy, huh?”

“Yeah, but I don’t really know why…”

“That’s okay, you don’t need to have it all figured out right now.”

“But what if when I see him next he wants to talk about her, or he wants to invite her everywhere?”

“You just need to tell him that you’re not comfortable with it, and that you’d prefer the one on one time. If he’s really your friend he’ll understand.”

“I just wish I knew what was wrong with me.” He starts sniffling. “I hate that I’ve been so mean to mum, I feel like I’ve been taking things out on her, and I know I hurt her today.” He starts crying, and Harry pulls him into his chest.

“Come here.” Harry lays him down with him, letting Andy cry into him and so he could cuddle him easier. Arms wrapped around him tight. “When you feel up to it you can call her to apologize.”

“She must hate me.” He hiccups.

“She doesn’t, I promise.”

“I don’t want her to know about why I’ve been upset.”

“Okay, it can stay between us.” Harry rubs Andy’s back with one hand and scratches his scalp with the other. “When does Brandon get back from camp?”

“In a few days.”

“Is that why you wanted to come back here? So you could see each other?”

“And because I missed you.” He snuggles further into Harry, and it nearly breaks his heart. He couldn’t remember the last time his son let him hold him like this.

“I missed you too.”

“Are things with Y/N going well? I feel bad, I know I messed up your date.”

“Things are good, and it’s okay. We were just out for a walk by the river, nothing special.”

“Is she your girlfriend yet?” Andy yawns. Poor kid’s had a long day.

“Not exactly, but soon I think.”

Harry lays with Andy until he’s in a deep sleep. He goes to his own room and texts Paige that Andy will call her tomorrow to talk some things through. Just as he’s about to put his phone down your name pops up.

You: I know it’s none of my business, but I hope Andy’s alright…is he?

Harry: thanks for checking in, he’s doing fine. We had a good talk, he even let me lay with him a bit. Poor kid felt bad about cutting our date short

You: you’ve raised such a sweet boy, honestly

Harry: maybe you could join us for dinner here some night, I think he’d like that

You: I’d love to, just name the night and I’m there

Harry sighs happily. Other women he’s dated in the past always thought it was cute he had a kid at first, but none of them ever understood that Andy came first. You were so cool about it, and he adored you even more for checking in.

Harry: hey…I like you a lot

You: hey…I like you a lot too

#harry styles #harry styles series #office neighbors #harry styles fic #harry styles fanfic #harry styles imagine #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles y/n #harry styles angst #harry styles fluff #harry styles smut

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boldlyvoid · 3 years

Text

Intro to Criminal Minds: Why They Did It

Criminal Minds x Mindhunter AU

Spencer Reid x Peggy Carr (OC) Part 2: The Case

Summary: Spencer is teaching a 7-week seminar on the most interesting criminal cases, explaining their actions to understand why they took place. Only, not everyone in the audience is a student.

warnings: strangers to lovers, mutual pining, slow burn! flirting, fluff, eventual smut, idiots in love, OC is Wendy Carr and Jason Gideon's biological daughter. mentions of rape and murder (typical canon violence)

word count: 2.2K

ao3

He’s not expecting her to roll out a full map after the waitress clears the food from their table. They’ve been in the booth for barely 20 minutes. Having mindless conversations about their day and small get to know each other questions while they ate.

“So, I brought all this to my dad,” she explained, dropping 33 files on the table as well as 2 spiral notebooks and a handful of pens. “He thinks I have a case, but he’s refusing to look at the evidence because he’s still triggered by it, which I get, but he said you’d be the best at helping me because I really just need a geo-profile consult.”

“How is he doing?”

She’s been waiting for him to ask but she still didn’t know how to answer, no matter how much time she had to prep, “uh, he’s good. He talks about you every time I see him, how often do you talk?”

“We haven’t talked since he almost died, 6 years ago now… yes, it was in 2015,” Spencer says it like it’s nothing serious.

“Oh,” she’s confused about it all. Her father talks about him more than anyone else, always remembering a case or a conversation that he just had to tell her about.

Spencer was his buddy in her eyes. “Here I was thinking he liked you more than me like you’re his favourite kid.”

“I’m not his kid,” his eyes widen at the insinuation that they’re somehow siblings in any sense.

It makes her laugh, she knows he’s interested in her a small amount. She was hoping he would, she’s heard so many wonderful things about him and she remembers just how cute he was back in 2005. Now he’s a man and a mighty fine one at that…

“I take it you’re an only child?” He changes the subject, “you can’t handle the idea of your father having relationships with people your age when you hardly know him?”

“How about you tell me who you think I am and I’ll tell you where you went wrong?” She challenges him rather than answering, she knows he’s good but she wants to see it in action.

Spencer raised his brow, “if I get it right, you’re paying for lunch.”

“Deal.”

He opens her notebook and takes a look at her notes, flipping through the pages reading the words just as fast as her father said he could. It was incomprehensible, but he didn’t read far… he keeps going back to her drawings, studying the pressure and how her mind worked.

“Your mom travelled a lot when you were a kid, and you always went with her. I’m thinking you have a few degrees, at least 3…” he pauses to watch her microexpressions, trailing her skin with his eyes as he looks for anything out of the ordinary. “There’s a doctorate in there but you hate being called Dr. Carr because that’s your mother’s name and it reminds you too much of people asking about her instead of how you’re doing.”

It cuts deep, but he hits the nail on the head and she just blinks. The simplest microexpression that shows him he got it right, his smile is awkward and he’s sorry for it.

“You were homeschooled so you don’t trust people very easily. You have issues with your father that you can’t place because you still don’t think you know him well enough to really have an opinion, and you’re jealous of me because you wish you knew how he brags about you when you’re not around, but he doesn’t talk about you because you told him not to.”

“I specifically told him I wanted to be left out of his life to stay safe, so it’s really my fault that he can’t brag about me. But I still wish someone would,” she admits with a soft smile. “And I think it’s not really jealousy. I’m not jealous of how he brags about his time with you. If anything, I really admire you now.”

He blushes a little, “alright, your turn.”

“You’ve never had a girlfriend before have you?” She calls him out right away. “You can’t take a compliment seriously because no one has loved you deep enough yet for you to believe them. I already know about your parents, I know that you’re scared of forgetting and that’s why you won't stop learning. I think you probably have a bucket list, you’re desperate for something exciting to happen and that’s why you like me already.”

He blinks right back, “touché.”

“I’ll still buy your lunch,” she smiled, and he smiled right back. “And I do have 3 degrees.”

“I do too.”

“I know,” she reminded him. “You’ve been working on that 4th one for the last 16 years.”

“I haven’t had the time.”

She shakes her head as she laughs, teasing him as if she’s better than him because she knows he finds her interesting already, “I had my Ph.D. by 17, as well 2 masters by the time I was 21.”

“3 Ph.D.’s by 22,” he bragged right back.

It had suddenly become a staring contest, “when exactly did your dad walk out on you?”

“I was 10.” Spencer answers. “When was the last time your mom said she was proud of you?”

“Oh, we're going that far, I see,” she laughed, hurt just a little that he dug that deep, “what happened to yours recently?”

“Alzheimer’s.”

“I’m really sorry, I knew about the schizophrenia already because of the fisher king case, that one is the one that still has my dad all fucked up,” she can’t help but rant as she apologizes, placing her hands on his in the centre of the table and he interlocks their fingers like they’ve known each other for years.

“Boston?” He asks her, changing the topic back to getting to know each other without letting go of her hands.

She nods, “Vegas?”

“You knew that already,” he catches her.

“Maybe so,” she blushes at the embarrassment of him picking up on her crush.

“How’d he describe me at chess?” There’s a cockiness behind it that she admires, smiling in response she just shakes her head.

“I don’t play chess, but he says that other than Agent Prentiss, you’re the only person who has come close to beating him.”

“Prentiss?” He looks almost offended at the fact he didn’t know that story.

“You were asleep on the jet, it was right after the trip to Azkaban,” she reminds him.

“Azkaban?” He repeats. “You mean Guantanamo?”

She’s only slightly embarrassed by the slip-up, blushing a deep red as she presses her lips together and squeezes his hand. “My mom calls it Azkaban, she hates it. If it wasn’t for the BAU, she would have never joined the bureau or the government in any way, she’s against the criminal justice system too, so…”

“She’s a woman of science and empathy, I’ve never met her, but I’ve read all her work.”

“So have I,” she’s full of butterflies for some reason as she thinks about him knowing everything that she does, she’s suddenly excited at the prospect of future conversations with him like this isn’t a one-time thing.

He’s still holding her hands over the map, both of them leaning in slightly as they kept talking, it felt overly intimate for a discussion of a case— and they haven’t even started yet.

She takes her hands out of his grip and flattens them over the map, “so I found a pattern, I was asked to look into the rape and murder of a friends sister, and now I’ve found 32 matching cases all over America going in alphabetical order by state, 2 a year since 2005.”

“Are you serious?”

She nods softly, “I’m a private investigator. I hated the academy and simply being in the BAU almost killed both of my parents so I’m not really fond of it, but I need help.”

“How did VICAP not pick this up?” Spencer’s still caught up on the fact this has been happening during his entire career and he had no way of helping. It was very clear by the look on his face.

“Because they’re college-age women getting raped in their dorms, 1 in each state, and men don’t care enough to dig a little deeper when it’s just a little girl who was probably asking for it anyway, right?”

He looks furious, but with her… not at her.

Not like most men, that’s actually exactly what any other guy would have said to her. ‘Not most men,’ they only said that if they were offended; when they knew that they were the exact type of man she was referring to.

He started opening case files then, flipping through everything as she watched carefully, “he always does it the exact same way. It’s every March and November between the 6th and 12th, he’s gotten to the O’s, which means the next hit should be in Oklahoma in exactly 2 months' time.”

“Has there been evidence?” Spencer asks, avoiding eye contact as he both listens and absorbs.

“1 footprint and some random fingerprints at the first few, other than that it’s like he was never there,” she sighs. “This is where I need your help; I’m unsure if he’s attacking randomly or if it’s planned ahead of time, so I brought the map to see if you can make any connection.”

“Alright,” he closes the folder and hands them to her so he can get a better look at everything. “I’m going to need the exact address of each one.”

“I have 32 mini maps,” she says, opening her book bag and handing him yet another folder.

“I’ve noticed they’re in every capital, and it’s always on the east side of the city,” she adds as he spreads them out on the table.

He takes his phone out of his pocket and turns on the flash, turning it face down and holding the sheets of paper over it, “If you look at them over each other, there might be a pattern. We should call my friend Penelope, she’ll be able to digitally do this and find something.”

“Okay,” Peggy nods along, “I really need to know within the week because I’m moving to Oklahoma.”

“What?” He looks overly worried.

“He’s interested in college-age brunettes,” she points at herself. “I’m going to rent an apartment with a sliding door in the kill zone, and I’m going to wait it out. I’ll make sure everyone knows I live alone, I won't make friends, I’ll keep the windows open when I go to the store, I’ll make myself a victim.”

“No, we can get the bureau to send in a team, you don’t need to be in harm's way,” he protests, “I won’t help if I know you’re throwing yourself in the middle of all this. I refuse.”

There’s an underlying panic that she doesn’t quite understand. He’s almost shaking as he thinks about her playing the victim, they stare back and forth at each other softly, eyes flickering over the other’s expression as he also reads her.

“Fine,” she agrees, finally. “But if you’re getting the team involved, I want to be able to have some say in the investigation. I don’t want to be kicked out for just being a PI.”

“On one condition,” Spencer smirks. “You have to teach the BTK seminar with me.”

“Deal,” she smiled. “But I have some conditions too.”

“Anything?”

He was going to regret that.

“We can’t sleep together until we catch the guy— don’t look at me like that!” she catches the way his jaw drops and his eyes glisten.

He’s in complete shock, trying to say words and failing miserably as she stares at him knowingly. “I only said that because I need rules for myself too. We can’t care more about each other than the victims. Solve the case with me and then I’ll have a crush on you, okay?”

“Okay,” he finally finds the words to agree. “Was it that obvious?”

“We held hands for 5 minutes, I’ve thought you were cute since you were 23 and that seminar was a; 'my horse is bigger than your horse' flirting match,” she calls it all out, “I’m just as into you as you are into me already, if not more so because I know way too much about you thanks to my dad and uncle Rossi.”

“Dave knew about you too?” He’s more upset than she expected.

She nods, “yeah, so that I’d be taken care of if anything happened to my dad.”

He is a little upset and she can’t figure out why from what she knows already, “why?”

“You’re so interesting, you and I could have been friends for the last 15 years and things could have been so interesting but you were a secret,” he whispers.

“I was right wasn’t I?”

He nods again, “Gideon doesn’t know about Maeve, but I had a girlfriend who died in front of me before I could tell her I loved her and it broke me.”

Everything makes sense now. The stares, the stuttering, the defensiveness at the idea of her being in harm's way after only knowing her for a few hours. He was desperately looking for someone like himself to prove that he wasn’t going to be alone forever, and he wanted that to be found in her.

“Solve the case with me, then you can learn what it’s like to love someone who loves you back.”

taglist:

@g0lden-cth @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @ssavanessa22 @spookyspence @shemarmooresfedora @spencers-dria@reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @calm-and-doctor @blanchardsbk

#spencer reid #spencer reid smut #spencer reid fanfiction #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid imagine #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid x y/n #spencer reid x you #spencer reid self insert #spencer reid request #criminal minds smut #criminal minds imagine #intro to cm #mindhunter #wendy carr #peggy carr

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champagne-bucky · 4 years

Text

The Things We Do for Money

Summary: Your boss is a pain in the ass… sometimes

Warnings: Chris Evans x Reader, smut, oral (female receiving), a bit of drunk! Chris

Notes: I know Chris Evans has big brat energy and I needed to get it out of my system.

There was no one on this planet who could hate their job as much as you hate yours. Sometimes you’d curse yourself out for agreeing to take on this stupid assistants job, but you were in a pinch and desperately needed the money. Now here you are, stuck three months in with the most absurd and demanding boss. He always has you doing his bitch work for him.

Okay, you’ll run out and get him a coffee from time to time when he’s at work. You’ll go run the errands and make the phone calls he’s unable to make, but you drew the line the second he asked you to do the most dumbest tasks for him.

He started acting ridiculous literally a month into the job, when he called you at the ungodly hour of 5 a.m. Turns out the dumbass couldn’t find his running shoes and you had schlepped yourself half an hour to his house only to find them under the bed the first minute of your arrival. Then, he’d call you for things like tying his shoe laces “because his hands were tired”, whatever the fuck that means, or picking out his evening wear when he’d go out with the guys (and he’d never end up liking what you picked out!)

Now here you are, in your cold ass car in the middle of a Boston winter, driving to your bosses house at the crack ass of dawn. You were annoyed because the night before he’d kept you up till late rattling off your To-Do list for the very next day, half the stuff would probably be scratched from the list anyways.

Your phone started to ring and you groaned knowing exactly who it was... BECAUSE WHO ELSE WAS UP THIS EARLY!?!?

“Yes, Chris,” you grumbled.

“Whoa, whoa, someone’s a little grouchy for 5:30 in the morning. Speaking of, you’re 30 minutes too late,” you wanted to cure the bastard out, but then he followed up with a laugh.

“Kidding, kidding, anyways, Assistant, I need a favor,” here we go…

“I’m your assistant, doing you favors is my job description, and I have a name you know.”

“Eh, Assistant suits you better. Anyways, if you could run to the shop and pick up my shoes for that award show I have later, oh, and schedule me a haircut would you? You know what to tell them,” this man was way too cheery for this early in the morning.

“No, it does not, the award show is three months away, and no, I do not know how you get your haircut, and I don’t want to know,” Chris responded with a low whistle.

“Gee, someone’s a little cranky monster. Let’s fix that frown before you come over okay?” you grit your teeth. Chris didn’t like a nasty attitude and he had the power to fire you for it.

“Yes, Mr. Evans,” you huffed and he hung up the phone after telling you a few more demands.

As much as this man was slowly pushing you towards your breaking point, the job came with perks. One of those being travel. You never had an opportunity to travel a lot and working for Chris gave you the chance. From Singapore to Australia, you finally got to see what was beyond your small town of Massachusetts.

Right now, you were in Atlanta where Chris was filming a new Marvel movie. You didn’t get to see much of the set, or the cast, or the inside of your bosses trailer, but you did get to see a lovely highway every couple hours while running around for that pain in the ass. However, when you got done you got to have lunch in Chris’ trailer without him, which was a big plus. Actually, every moment away from Chris was a true blessing.

“ASSISTANT” you groaned as you heard your name being called from outside the trailer. You put down your half eaten sandwich and swung open the trailer door. There stood Chris in his Captain America suit, arms crossed and tapping his foot.

“Yes, Mr. Evans?” Chris put a smile on his face and motioned you to come closer to him. You stepped closer, but he made you come even closer. You came as close to his mouth and he whispered in your ear.

“Do you know what time it is?” you pulled back from his lips with a confused expression.

“Uh, no. W-What time is it?”

“Time for you to help me out of this tight ass costume,” your eyes went wide in horror. Not this shit again.

“No, no, please Mr. Evans, can’t you ask someone else, like a male, to take off your costume,” you pleaded as marched past you.

“Nope, that’s why I hired an assistant, Assistant. Now hurry up, the boots are the hardest to get off,” you groaned and stepped into the trailer.

Chris sat down on the couch and motioned for you to get by his one boot. You grimaced and got to your knees and started to take the boot off. You tugged and tugged until it loosened a little. When it finally did, the whole room filled with a stench.

“Mr. Evans, ew, can’t you wear socks with these things,” Chris let out a deep chuckle and shook his head.

“Can’t do that or the boots will be too tight on my poor little feet,” he put out the other boot clad foot.

“Little is an understatement, sir,” Chris covered up his small groan with a clear of his throat.

“Well Assistant, you know what they say about big feet,” you choked on your spit and looked up at the man.

“They sign you big paychecks. Now hurry up, I’m getting drinks with the guys tonight,” you groaned again and worked the other boot off.

When the costume was fully off, averting your eyes where necessary, Chris was changing back into his regular clothes while a knock sounded at the door.

“Get that for me, Assistant,” you went to the door and swung it open and were faced with two of his co-workers, Anthony and Sebastian.

“Oh, assistant girl? We aren’t interrupting anything are we?” Anthony winked and Sebastian chuckled. Your cheeks were heating up at that comment when you felt Chris behind you.

“Yeah guys, just one second I gotta put on a shirt,” your eyes noticeably widened knowing Chris was right behind you, shirtless.

The men suppressed their laughter at your shocked expression. They probably thought you were sleeping with your boss! Oh god, listen, Chris wasn’t an unattractive man, hell no, but he was your boss (and also a pain in the ass), you couldn’t cross that sort of line.

“I’ll be going now, Assistant. Clean up for me and finish up that list,” Chris grabbed his wallet and left the trailer.

“Yes, Mr. Evans.”

Anthony and Sebastian stopped in their tracks to laugh a little. When Chris turned around to give them a ‘what’ look Anthony finally spoke.

“Yes, Mr. Evans. I’ll clean up the trailer and then clean you up later, sir,” Anthony mocked your voice as Chris punched his arm lightly.

That blare of your ringtone made you shoot up out of your peaceful sleep and clutch your heart. You peered over at the time to see that it was 3 a.m. Groaning, you ignored that call without seeing who it was and tried to sleep again, but then they called you back.

You turned your light on and grabbed your phone and saw that Chris was calling you. Pissed off and tired, you answered the phone with an angry ‘what’.

“Oh, Assistant, I need you,” Chris sounded like he was slurring his words. He was still at the bar?

“Mr. Evans? Are you drunk?”

“Yessssss, I made an oopsie and had tooooo much to drink. Can you pwetty pwease come pick me up. Pleaseeeeeeeeeeee…” he dragged out the last vowel as you started looking for your keys.

“Fine, but you’re paying me overtime for this,” you slide on your shoes and run out of the hotel room to go get the big drunken baby.

It took you awhile, but you finally found the bar Chris was at. Luckily, he has always shared his phone location with you for emergencies like these. It didn’t take long to find him either seeing as he was moping on the curb nursing a beer in his hands.

You rolled your eyes and got out of the car. Chris’ ears perked up at the sound of a door slamming shut and he immediately was smiling like a dope.

“ASSISTANT!” He screamed and held his arms out for you. The people passing by on the sidewalk gave him dirty looks.

“Chris, shhhh, let’s get you back into the car, okay?”

“HEY! THAT’S MR. EVANS TO YOU or sir if you want to spice things up,” he barely whispered and gave you a wink. Scoffing, you shoved him into your tiny car before he took off down the street.

The drive back to Chris’ Atlanta home was a bit of a drive, but there was not much traffic on the road so it would be quicker than usual. Chris was falling asleep in the passengers seat, but would come to every so often to slur something stupid. This time, when his head went up to speak to you his words were loud and clear.

“You’re pretty,” your cheeks were heating up, but it was too dark to see.

“Thank you, Mr. Evans.”

“And kind, sweet, lovely,” he was showering you with compliment after compliment and you didn’t know how to respond.

“I like you, Assistant,” you tried to keep your composure, but you were stunned. He was drunk so that meant nothing, right?

“I would figure since you keep me around all the time,” you laughed off.

“Noooo, I really like you. Not in a “like” you, but in a “like like” like you way,” his body was now fully turned to face you.

“Oh, well, Mr. Evans I’m flattered, but you’re my boss. I can’t ruin our professional relationship,” Chris let out a whine just as you were pulling up to his house and getting out of the car.

“Then as your boss, I demand you to like like me,” you laughed as you opened the car door for him to get out.

“Mr. Evans, you know we can’t allow that,” you tried your best to joke with him, but he kept up pestering you.

“How about a thank you for helping me get home,” you furrowed your brows as Chris unlocked his door and was leaning up on the threshold.

“Umm, Mr. Evans I-,” you didn’t get a chance to finish because Chris grabbed your face and was leaving a sloppy kiss on your lips.

Your eyes were probably wider than they have ever been in your lifetime. Chris Evans was kissing you. Chris Evans was kissing his assistant. Chris Evans was drunk and kissing a woman who he signs her paychecks for every week.

He pulled back a few moments later with a satisfied look on his face. He was still stumbling drunk, but it seemed as if he didn’t care. Chris had a cocky grin on his face while looking at your frozen expression.

“Um, Mr. Evans, um. I’ll see you tomorrow,” and you sprinted back to your car and pulled out of the driveway, not even glancing back at your boss.

It had been a while since the whole drunk kiss incident. The day after that night you didn’t bring up what had happened and neither did Chris.

You assumed that he was so drunk that he probably forgot about the kiss. To be fair, he didn’t even remember him calling you to come pick him up or the whole drive back home. He must’ve forgotten about the kiss and you intended to never bring it up.

Things between you and your boss went back to normal after that. You were still dealing with his antics and absurdities, but it paid your bills so you couldn't complain. However, Chris seemed to be lenient with you nowadays.

You couldn’t put your finger on it, but he definitely changed his demeanor recently. He let you come into work an hour later than usual, anytime you said you were unable to do something he let it slide, and he also had given you a raise out of nowhere. Maybe he was changing…

“ASSISTANT,” nevermind…

“ASSISTANT!” you followed Chris’ voice to the backyard where he was standing by the pool.

“Yes, Mr. Evans,” you rolled your eyes.

“Assistant, can you do me a favor?”

“Will I get fired for saying no?”

“Yes.”

“Then what is it,” you walked over to him as he started to take off his shirt.

“I want to go for a swim, but I don’t want to miss an important phone call I should be getting.”

“And?”

“And I want you to sit out here and watch my phone till it rings,” you looked at him in disbelief. He really wants you to babysit a phone?

“Are you serious? You just want me to sit out here and stare at your phone?”

“Well, I’d invite you to join me in the pool, but you don’t have a swimsuit,” Chris scoffed and jumped into the pool.

You rolled your eyes and took a seat on the lounge chair. If you were going to babysit his phone you might as well relax a bit. Plus, you didn’t mind the little show you were getting courtesy of Chris.

About an hour went by and still no phone call. Chris had been busy swimming laps in his pool and playing with Dodger who would jump in for a swim. Either Chris was pulling your leg just so you could watch him or this phone call was never happening. You’d think after an hour someone would call soon.

You moved to get up and go back in the kitchen to answer some emails to the rest of Chris’ team when he called for you to come back.

“Mr. Evans, it’s been an hour and no one has called. I have work to do, I can’t stand around all day watching you swim and wait for your phone to ring. You’re a big boy you can do it,” you didn’t hear him get out, but Chris was hot on your tail as you entered back in the house.

“So, you were watching me, huh,” you tried your best to hide the blush creeping up on your face.

“Not the point, sir. I need to get back to work,” Chris clicked his tongue between his teeth.

“Alright, while you get back to work, I’ll be in the shower,” you went back to your computer and hummed in agreement with his plans.

You heard a ruffle of clothing hit the floor as you looked up from your laptop screen. You gasped in horror as you saw Chris had shucked his bottoms off right in front of you and turned to walk to the bathroom. You put your head down as he turned around to look at you with a satisfied smirk.

The faint sound of the shower running filled the silence for a few minutes as you contemplated your next move. The swim shorts stayed where they were and you refused to pick them up. You still couldn’t get the image of your boss and his bare ass out of your head.

What did this mean now for your job?

“Assistant,” you froze at the sound of Chris’ voice, “I need you.”

“Now?”

“Yes, it’s urgent,” he sounded anxious.

“Yes, Mr. Evans,” you said from behind the cracked door.

“Can you get me a towel from the closet? I forgot mine.”

You went to grab him a towel and stuck your hand through the door. When you didn’t feel him take the towel from you you got worried.

“Mr. Evans,” you called out.

All of a sudden the door opened and you were face to face with a naked Chris Evans. You kept your wide eyes on his and pushed the towel to his chest.

“Assistant, I need some help getting dry,” you were stumbling over your words, but not for long until Chris pulled you in the bathroom with him and brought your hands up to his chest.

You kept your eyes on him and you dried off his upper body. Chris looked into your eyes with adoration and a hint of lust. This was getting too serious way too fast, you went to pull away, but he grabbed your wrists.

“You know, I meant what I said. You are very pretty,” you gasped.

“Chris,” he pulled you closer until your lips touched. Fuck it. You couldn’t fight this anymore. This gorgeous man wanted you and a part of you wanted this pain in the ass too.

The kiss started slow, but descended into something so raw and animalistic. Your tongues were all over each other’s mouths and your teeth were scraping and hitting together. Chris pushed you up against the bathroom door and moved his lips to your neck.

“So good, wanted you for so fucking long,” he continued to kiss down your neck to the collar of your shirt.

“I want this off, now Y/N,” you gasped again. That was the first time he ever used your real name.

You couldn’t deny his orders, so you happily took off your shirt, bra included, and threw them on the floor. Chris went to praise you for being so good and attacked your sensitive buds.

He scraped, licked, and sucked gently on each nipple, giving him all the attention they deserved. You moaned loudly and he went to kiss you again. He pressed himself into your thigh and started to grind.

“All for you, baby. It’s all for you,” you let out a breathy moan.

“Please, Chris, please, sir. I want it,” Chris growled in response.

His hands began to wander. They rubbed up and down your sides before they inched their way towards your center. Chris took his one hand and put it under your shorts. You whimpered as he went and rubbed your center in teasing strokes.

“Chris, please,” he removed his hand and opened the bathroom door.

“Patience, baby,” Chris picked up your shaking body and carried you throughout the house towards his bedroom.

He kicked opened the door and laid you down on the bed. Chris removed your shorts and stood back to admire your bare body. His thumbs drew small circles around your hips as he looked up at you with dark eyes.

Chris connected his lips with the top of your belly button and started to kiss downwards. He came in contact with your pussy, but wouldn’t kiss it. His lips ghosted yours, his beard was scratching the surrounding area. It seemed as if time had stopped when all of a sudden he attacked your core.

Your hands flew down to his hair and began to pull at the roots. Chris groaned into your pussy as you arched your hips into his mouth. He brought his thumb to your clit and started to rub fast and hard circles. You were so close to cumming, but you could barely form the words.

You tried to tell him, but it felt so good and he was doing all the right things to restrict your speech. The tiny bubble within you had grown bigger and bigger and was going to pop any second. Chris started to thrust two fingers in you while his lips sucked your clit and that’s when it happened.

“Holy fuck,” you looked up with a heaving chest to see Chris’ beard, lips, and fingers soaked. His eyes grew darker as he grabbed your chin and kissed your breath away.

“Fucking squirted all over me baby, how you gonna clean me up?” He nuzzled his face into your neck and started to pepper kisses all over.

You were at a loss for words, but your body was doing all the talking. Your hips started to thrust up into Chris’ thigh and he looked down with a smirk.

“I know you want it, honey. Give me one second,” Chris moved off your body and made his way to his nightstand drawer. He pulled out a condom and rolled it on.

Now, he was back on top of you and drinking you in. You kissed one more time before he lifted your leg over his shoulder and positioned himself at your sensitive entrance.

“You sure?” You shook your head rapidly at his question.

“Yes, get on with it, sir,” he smirked as he entered you.

The stretch hurt, but the pain was replaced with pleasure as he started to thrust. He started off slow, careful not to hurt you, but he was going deeper into your pussy. You cried and slapped his bicep, urging him to go faster.

“If that’s what baby wants, then that’s what baby will get,” and Chris went into overdrive.

You screamed his name and moaned so loud that you were sure the neighbors would hear you. Chris loved hearing those sweet noises and was doing all he could to make them louder. You were reaching a second high, but Chris was still keeping a brutal pace.

“Chris, I’m about to cum.”

“Hold on, sweetheart. We aren’t finished this just yet,” he grabbed your other leg and threw it over his shoulder, attempting a deeper angle.

Chris kissed you with all his might. His tongue evaded your mouth once more and his thrusts were getting faster and faster. A sweat broke out on him and he was getting close.

“Baby, you can let go whenever you want,” a final scream ripped through you as you arched your back and came for the second time.

Chris fucked you even harder through your orgasm. He wanted to fuck your pussy so that it was be sensitive for the next couple days. He wanted you to never forget this moment.

Tears formed in your eyes as he kept going. You were trying to keep up, but your body started to get weak. Chris noticed this and worked faster to get himself to the edge.

When he finally came, it felt as if his eyes had rolled back up into his head. He was sweaty and growing tired, but he didn’t want to leave your pussy yet. He knew he had to because the position you were in was starting to get uncomfortable. Chris finally removed himself and threw the condom out.

He saw your eyes were dropping and quickly picked you up to take you to the bathroom. He let you do your business and went to grab you a bottle of water.

When you came out of the bathroom, with shaky legs, Chris was there with a water bottle by the bedside table and the sheets drawn back waiting for you to get in beside him. You gladly accepted the comfy spot next to him and soon you drifted off to sleep.

When you finally woke up, you felt something heavy weighing down across your abdomen. Your eyes shot up as you looked around a room you didn't recognize. As if right on que, Chris groans beside you and opens his eyes. He smiled and pressed you closer to his body and gave you a sweet kiss to your temple.

“Evening,” Chris buried himself in your hair as you lifted your head to look out the window, confirming it was night.

“What time is it?” your voice was strained.

“Close to 11. Didn’t think we’d be out for this long,” he winked and for a moment you forgot why you were in his bed.

“OH MY GOD,” you gasped and shot up and Chris followed suit.

“WHAT? WHAT’S WRONG?”

“WE HAD SEX!”

“I KNOW I WAS THERE. WHY ARE YOU YELLING?” Chris matched your voice.

“I’M YELLING BECAUSE YOU’RE MY BOSS. I SLEPT WITH MY FUCKING BOSS,” you slammed your head back down on the pillow and buried your face in it. You only lifted your head off the pillow to hear him laughing at you.

“I get why you’re laughing, but I’m not. I’m a slut,” Chris laid back down next to you and pulled you into his arms.

“Hey, hey, you are not a slut. Please don’t think of yourself that way,” he cradled you into his arms.

“I did the one thing that nobody is supposed to do. I shouldn’t have ruined our professional relationship,” you tried to break free from Chris’ hold, but you wouldn’t let you go.

“Listen to me, you did not do anything wrong. I wanted to ask you out for a long time… I just, well, you see-”

“You got piss ass drunk and ruined your plans,” you giggled into his bare chest.

“That’s one way of putting it, yeah,” and he laughed along with you.

“So, I guess this means I should resign now shouldn’t I?”

“Not necessarily no, I still need my assistant.”

“So I get to sleep with you AND be on payroll? Wow, what a dream come true,” Chris laughed some more.

“We don’t have to tell anybody for a while. I’ll help you find a new job so it won’t look so fishy whenever we tell people we are dating.”

“I don’t know, I am gonna miss that fat Christmas bonus I get every year…”

“I think I can think of a way to make up for that,” Chris’ hand was stroking up and down your thigh which made you shudder.

You turned to kiss him as you hummed in agreement. Things started to get hot and heavy once more and soon the sheets were pushed off the bed, Chris was attacking your lower half with kisses. Right when he got to your center, his phone rang.

“You wanna get that for me, Assistant?”

#Chris Evans #chris evans x y/n #chris evans x you #chris evans x reader #chris evans smut #marvel smut #chris evans one shot #captain america #captain america smut #captain america x reader #Steve Rogers #steve rogers smut #steve rogers x reader

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anika-ann · 3 years

Text

Conundrum (A.B.)

Type: One-shot, challenge fic

Pairing: Andy Barber x fem!reader Word Count: 7700 (:

Summary: conundrum - a confusing and difficult problem or question

Andy Barber is a difficult man whom you have yet to understand. He certainly doesn’t make it any easier; and right before Christmas, he manages to surprise you again.

Prompt: You have to look for a gift impromptu

Warnings: a smidge of angst, a drop of awkward humour, mention of death (mild AU - both Laurie and Jacob!), alcohol consumption, feels, explicit language, reader gets called a dumbass... that’s it I hope, lemme know

A/N: This is my submission for the Happy Hoelidays challenge. There’s no hoeing tho, shame on me. Also, if you want some music to go with this, know that I listened to ‘God I Hope This Year Is Better Than the Last’ by SYML an obscene amount of times.

Andy Barber was an enigma.

Reporters liked to think he wasn’t; almost a year ago, they tore down all the walls he had built up to protect the privacy of his family and they shed light into startingly intimate details of his life – and where they couldn’t shed light, they used their imagination and sold it with a claim of having a reliable source. Naturally, it worked; there were always people willing to believe it just so they obtained more of juicy gossip material.

There were wanabe psychologists who would address his trauma and tried to analyse his personality, the consequences he would suffer in the aftermath of the tragedy, who attempted to strip down his soul just to get a few more reads and generally talked about him as if they were best friends, as if they knew him.

It was all a load of bullshit.

The truth, you thought, was that no one knew him. If you were being honest, you weren’t sure if even his wife ever had, truly – but that was you under the influence of the little information you bothered to gather from the influx of crap that the media provided the public with.

What you believed was that the reporters and all the self-proclaimed experts on him knew nada.

Andrew Barber was and always would remain an enigma; to the public, to the little what remained of his family after the death of his wife and son, to his co-workers – the category which included you. If you could even call yourself a co-worker; you were simply a secretary. Granted, one whose previous employer let her peek over their shoulder quite a bit so you learned a thing or two about law, but Andy Barber was the lawyer. The former DA from Boston, who moved over to rule the DA office of Portland, your home.

Even after having been working with him for nine full months, Andy’s thoughts and feelings didn’t get any easier for you to read or predict. When he wanted to let you know he was disappointed, he did. When he was truly angry with someone, well, he wouldn’t let it go unnoticed either.

Other than that, however, you would have had better luck trying to decode the actual enigma-encrypted messages sent during World War II.

Small talk didn’t last longer than three sentences from you each. Work-related affaires were discussed in his office with politeness and with calm, rather dispassionate mannerism. If you caught a hint of a smile when an important case that helped people went his way (or the office’s way really), you considered it a miracle that sent your heart reeling.

He would sometimes smile only for you if you brought him a coffee without him asking first, simply because he looked like he needed one; at those times, he would thank you softly and let slip in your first name instead of referring to you with your last. Those were your favourite moments.

Well, almost.

You found him with a tumbler and an expensive whiskey on occasion when you were leaving the office late; you never commented on it, but there were four times he actually silently invited you to have a glass with him. You refused the first time and accepted the other three.

Those nights, you got a glimpse of the mystery of a man hidden behind surprisingly soft mannerism, one which was in such a sharp contrast to his shark-like demeanour he displayed in front of the judge and the jury. His scars ran deep, his hopes had been shattered, his life in the past year as bitter as the overpriced liquor. Your heart cracked for him to the point of nearly breaking altogether.

And yet, it was beating for him too; behind all that hurt, you couldn’t but notice certain gentleness. Yes, he could be scary, downright terrifying and when his temper got the best of him, the true rage on display, he was a force to be reckoned with. But oh, that gentleness. The kind shattered soul he hid so well every morning, more so on the days right after your little heart-to-hearts. Trying to build a working relationship with him – a friendship of a sort, anything you wanted to call it – was a game of push and pull and more of a string of guesses than an effort that would bore fruit.

You might have already given up on that and instead, with the ferocity you hadn’t known you possessed, you kept punching the crush you had on him; that silly thing that would always call louder and louder after he revealed a piece of him on one of the precious nights, only to shut you out completely the next morning.

Andy Barber had never even remotely showed a romantic interest in you and by God, did you not blame him for not being interested in anyone at all as far you knew. While you considered yourself a fairly capable worker and half-decent person, you were aware you could never measure up to him. Just another reason to push down the feelings you had for him, ones that seemed to bloom with more intensity whenever he raised the corners of his damn lips, when he asked a question about you during those stupid nights as if he cared— nonsense. You had to get rid of those. He didn’t even like you, barely acknowledged you in the end. Or did he? You honestly didn’t know.

Bottom line was that if you couldn’t get close enough, then the reporters knew jack shit, no matter how much reading on him they had done or how many books on psychology, criminology and law and shit they went through. Many people knew Andrew Barber’s name, but no one could hope to know him.

And yet, those assholes still called and asked about him.

It was the fourth one that day; December 23rd, over a year from the accusation of Jacob Barber, and those fucking vultures still called Andy Barber’s office. They weren’t even good newspapers and news sites anymore; obviously, because every rational decent person would have let the poor man rest. But nope. Not them.

“Portland’s DA office, secretary of Mr. Barber speaking. How may I help you?”

“Oh, wonderful! Is there any chance I could talk to Mr. Barber personally?” the chipper of a man asked on the other end of the line and just by not giving his name, he raised suspicion; was it forgetfulness caused by his distress or intention?

Fortunately for him and unfortunately for you, you had to be polite. Hot-shot lawyers and other important people rarely returned the courtesy, but that was the world you lived in.

“There might be, Mr-?”

“Oh, Connor. Peter Connor.”

“Well, Mr. Connor, what is your legal issue?” you asked patiently, writing down his name automatically.

“Well, you see, I would rather talk with Mr. Barber about—my delicate situation, in private.”

Your eyes narrowed as you stopped scribbling and spared a brief glance towards the door to Andy’s office. It was opened ajar in what could be an invitation, but all blinds on both the door and the windows were down in typical fashion.

Talk in private?

Yeah, not gonna happen. You knew a few tricks that these assholes calling the office tended to pull and whoever this man was, you were growing more suspicious by the minute that he was not seeking legal advice.

You went back to your notes and wrote down the word liar right next to his name and a question mark. Was he a liar? One way to find out you guessed; you caught your phone between your ear and your shoulder, opening a new tab in your browser to google the name along with a wild guess of him being a reporter.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Connor, I’m afraid I will need more information before I put you through. And I will probably need to make you an appointment, my boss is a very busy man-“

“Oh, is he? Lots of cases in Andrew Barber’s new district, huh?”

The blood in your veins was set aflame even before the search was done, because in an instant, you knew for sure.

And then you had it confirmed by the results.

This jerk had even given you his real name, utterly shameless. Sure, he could have only had the same name as the journalist you found, but what were the chances? Two days after you told his colleague – who had made it through your vetting, got an appointment and even got past the reception desk before you spotted him for what he was – to get lost and not try again?

Your pulse skyrocketed along with your blood pressure. Technically, you didn’t owe Andrew Barber anything, but he was respectful enough, didn’t make much trouble and for most time, was an okay boss to you.

You owed him this much: he was a decent guy. Why couldn’t other people show a shed of basic human decency too and leave him the fuck alone?

“That depends, Mr. Connor,” you purred, barely holding the outrage locked inside. You felt both energized by your anger and achingly tired and done with humanity. You rested your elbows on the desk and leaned onto it with a sigh, massaging the bridge of your nose, eyes closed. “Is he going to have to sue your rag of a newspaper or will you and your colleagues finally get the memo and leave. His. Personal. Life. Alone?!”

You most definitely strained the last words through your teeth, but you didn’t care anymore if you were being rude. He was the fourth reporter today ready to ask about Andy’s personal matters. The FOURTH!! He was lucky you didn’t tell him to go fuck himself… explicitly.

“Are you threatening me?” the man demanded, his voice insulted, losing all traced of pretence.

As if you ever. You knew better than that, working with lawyers.

“Nice try, Mr. Connor. I will thank you to never call this office again unless you have legal issues or a relevant question which you should direct to our PR department anyway. And if you could extend this to all editorial staff, please, preferably to all editorial staff in the United States, that would be splendid. Have a good day. Happy Holidays.”

You slammed the phone down, missing the slot for it, not caring. You were sure he would hang up on his own.

“Asshole,” you muttered under your breath and hid your face in your palms, grunting, fingertips sinking into your hair.

“I hope you don’t mean me,” sounded from the doorway and you yelped, honest to god yelped and straightened in your seat, head snapping up-

-only to meet your boss’ curious gaze. Hurt and anger casted shadows over his beautiful cerulean irises, but there was no mistaking the melancholy and resignation on his face either.

“Of course not!” you blurted out quickly, panic rising in your chest.

How much had he heard? Was he going to fire you for being unprofessional? Did he figure out what was this about— of course he did, there was little room left for doubt. Your choice of words was pretty straightforward.

Andy bounced off of the doorframe he was leaning onto, not easing his stance – his arms remained crossed over his chest and had you not been so alarmed, you would have indulged in the sight of his biceps nearly cutting through the seams of his shirt.

“Why do I get the impression that whoever you were talking to was not the first person to call the office to feed on ‘the misery man’ that Andrew Barber is?” he more stated than asked, his tone unmistakably bitter.

You gulped as he approached your desk, nails digging into your palms. You had no idea what to say. Once again, you couldn’t quite read Andy; you had no idea where this was heading and how you should answer without setting him off, making him sadder or even more bitter. And without getting fired, obviously.

“I—uhm, well, I suppose you heard me, so you know he wasn’t the first—Mr. Barber. I apologize-“ His eyebrows rose a fraction and you didn’t dare to analyse why. “-if I was too loud. But--- humanity sucks.”

The moment the last two words left your mouth, you instantly regretted them, snapping your eyelids close and squeezing. You were sure you were about to have bloody crescents in your palms from your nails at this point.

Did you really just say that? To your boss, no less?

Way to go, me.

“Not wrong there. Why don’t you take your lunch break now?” he offered casually.

You nodded as you felt the tell-tale burn of tears forming in your eyes; fuck, this was humiliating. Why had he had to walk in exactly in that moment? And now using that tone?

He didn’t say anything else and you didn’t dare to look at him. Only when you heard him walk back to his office and close the door behind him, you opened your eyes and released the breath you were holding, your heart hammering in your chest.

Gulping and swallowing your tears before they could escape, you grabbed your purse and your coat, rushing out to the cold air of Portland winter.

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧

Andy didn’t bring up the incident again when you came back. You had a short list of assignments for the upcoming days off which you went over with him before parting ways for the holidays. You mentioned you would probably drop in tomorrow despite not necessarily having to, but wished him Happy Holidays in case you’d miss him during your brief visit.

The corners of his lips twitched at that, but he wished you the same. You supposed his holidays weren’t about to be happy – more like the opposite. Last year, he celebrated with his family, even if it might have been already falling apart. This year however…

Your heart cracked another fraction for the man and you wondered if you should leave some cookies for him in the office tomorrow at least. Then you realized he would probably hate it, either being bitter about feeling like a charity case or hating the reminder of what he had lost, what wasn’t waiting for him at home anymore. Not to mention that maybe even the poinsettia, which you had placed on his office window two days ago and neither of you commented on, was already too much.

The only cookies you baked that night were the ones you knew should stay in a box with apples for over a day, the cookies you were supposed to bring to your sister’s house for Christmas, because your nephew Harry loved them.

With cheesy Christmas songs in the background and a bottle of wine for the party of one, you kneaded the double batch of dough and couldn’t but spare your achingly handsome and likely lonely boss a thought and maybe… maybe a tear or two.

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧

The office was empty when you arrived on 24th at around half past four; everyone left as soon as possible, which was to be expected. Admittedly, despite not knowing what you would talk about with Andy, you found your heart sinking when you didn’t see light peeking through the blinds of your and his offices. You had expected him to be working to avoid being at home; but then again, you knew next to nothing about him. Maybe he was with a girlfriend. With a boyfriend. With former colleagues. With his deceased wife’s family. It was only assumption of yours that he might be lonely on Christmas.

You shook your head at your train of thought as you unlocked your office, mentally going over which files you needed to bring home, trying to eliminate the amount as not to endanger confidential information by taking them away from the safety of the bureau.

You froze in your tracks when you found a rather large piece of paper folded into a roof on your desk. A note, you realized, frowning and slowly walking to the suspicious object.

There were very few people who could enter your space, namely three: the janitor, you and Andy. The first option was unlikely, the second impossible, the third confusing. You didn’t understand why he wouldn’t just shoot you a text if he needed anything.

You halted in your steps, the air knocked out of your lungs when you noticed that the note was not the only new item on your desk.

There was a box.

A box roughly size of your extended palm. And if you weren’t mistaken… it looked like a jewellery gift box.

“What the hell?” you asked yourself breathlessly, your curiosity getting the best of you; more so as you recognized what was most definitely Andy’s handwriting on the paper.

Andrew Barber, your boss, with whom you weren’t sure what your relationship was – if there was any at all – might have got you jewellery.

Say that again?

A tiny voice in your head told you he might have just used the box for something else entirely, but that didn’t seem to be his style.

So you picked up the gift carefully, almost reverently removing the lid, your heart pounding in your chest, stomach twisting with pleasant anticipation; with the familiar rush that kids feel when opening a present with high hopes of what could await them inside.

Your lips parted in pure shock, you mind turning blank.

There were no words in English language to express how… how absolutely magnificent the bracelet inside was.

Five thin circles with symbols made of slender lines inside, looking like charms, but withing the body of the bracelet, one clasped to the next one with delicate ellipses. The metal reflected the fluorescent lights of the office, glimmering softly, appearing almost fluid, a thin stream of water trapped in a box.

You actually had to blink and it took all your willpower not to pinch yourself, because—how-

How had he known? Where had he got it? Holy mother of Jesus, how much had he spent on it?

And why get you a gift in the first place? You were… acquaintances at best. Yes, there were almost friendly moments, and then there were those nights, but this was---this- you couldn’t even---- think, apparently.

Keeping an eye on the opened box, you gently placed it back on the desk, afraid to even touch the metal itself. You blindly reached into your purse in search for your phone to dial the only number that made sense for you to dial at that moment.

It sure as hell wasn’t Andy’s.

Nothing but a dialling tone sounded for half a minute, the time seemingly endless. You fell heavily into your chair, still staring at the absolutely gorgeous and thoughtful gift.

How did he know?!

You fought the urge to roll your eyes as your sister still didn’t answer the phone and your hand automatically reached for your necklace to toy with.

And that was when it hit you.

Your necklace; one you got from your sister during the period of your biggest obsession with the Divergence series. Two arrows in a circle pointing different directions, the symbol for a ‘divergent’ person. Your eyes wandered over the five circles of the bracelet – scales, an eye, hands connected, a flame, a tree –, an incredulous chuckle escaping you.

But--- you didn’t think he would notice. You didn’t even wear it all the time, rather often, yes, and yeah, perhaps you did have a bit of a bad habit of fumbling with it when nervous-

“Hey sis! What’s up?” Amber’s voice sounded cheerily from the microphone. You jumped in your seat, startled by her as she interrupted your musing. “Please tell me you’re still coming, because Harry wouldn’t shut up about his favourite chocolate chip.”

You cleared your throat, barely able to comprehend what she was talking about, too caught up in your head.

“I—hi. Uhm- I need help actually,” you finally stuttered and you could practically feel her frown even over the phone.

“Oh? Is everything okay? You sound… a little strange.”

“That’s-“ not wrong. You scanned the office and listened in for the tinniest noise, making sure you were still alone. “I’m at the office and I--eh, I found a gift for me.”

“Awww, a secret admirer? Nice!” Amber chuckled, then abruptly stopped. “…unless it’s a stalker. You don’t think you have a stalker, right? Is that why you called me, so I could tell George? He’s not on duty-“

This time you did roll your eyes at the mention of her husband who happened to be a police officer.

“No, Amber, I have no stalker as far as I know. I’m pretty sure I can recognize my boss’ handwriting at this point.”

Nothing but silence could be heard from the other end for a good minute. You bit your lip in anticipation of… something.

And then: “You’re shitting me.”

“Not really-“

“Holy mother of-!” your sister squealed loudly and you winced, instinctively withdrawing from the phone. “Your boss got you a Christmas present?! --Wait. Is it a Walmart card? Because if it is, then this call is pointless, because that’s boring as-“

“No, Amber, he—he gave me a bracelet,” you admitted softly, your gaze once again wandering over the said object. Beautiful. Fragile. Yours, apparently. What?

When Amber only responded with silence again, words suddenly spilled from your lips, all the mixed feelings you had about receiving the bracelet released, relief singing in your veins as you vented.

“And-and it’s actually really beautiful and--- it’s thoughtful, because it has all the fractions from Divergence on it? But not like something you buy for ten dollars, only paying for the copyright or whatever and the quality is shitty, no, I mean--- it looks pretty, eh, delicate.”

It did, awfully so, which was why you still couldn’t make yourself to touch it even if you really, really liked it and wanted to do nothing but to wear it for the rest of your damn life.

“And expensive. I-- I think it might be real silver and…” you wavered, almost scared to share your last observation out loud for it seemed impossible for it to be true. “Amber, you know I looked through a lot of Divergence-related goods so I would know. It- it doesn’t look familiar at all, it’s--- I think it might be custom-made.”

You choked on the last word, tasting so strange on your tongue as you couldn’t quite believe that you were saying it. You felt--- incredulous to put it simply… and touched and- absolutely bewildered.

Silence stretched in the follow-up to your rambling and you felt your brows drawing together.

“…Amber? You there?”

“Oh yeah, I’m here,” she assured you swiftly, mischief curling around the tone of her voice like a smirk on her lips you couldn’t see. “Just wondering how could you not tell me you started sleeping with him-“

“What?! No!” you protested instantly, straightening in the chair. “I’m not—I’m not his sugar baby or whatever! This is not a ‘thank you for letting me fuck you raw’ gift-“

“Not that you would complain from what I heard and saw-“ she hummed playfully.

She was right. But shush!

“Screw you!”

“George does, that’s why we have Harry in the first place,” she sassed you. “But… sis? What kind of a gift it is then?”

And wasn’t that the question.

“I… I don’t know.”

“Well, you should, because from what you told me, you guys aren’t even friends. Nota bene, this isn’t exactly a gift you give to a friend,” she pointed out, addressing one of the million issues concerning the damn (gorgeous) bracelet.

“I-- I guess?” You were sure, in fact. This was something to give to a… well, to a lover, to a partner. “But- Amber, he doesn’t--- that’s not-“

“What did the note say?”

“Huh?”

“You said you recognized his handwriting,” she reminded you slowly as if speaking to a five-year-old. “What does the note say?”

You glanced at the note again noncommittally, remembering exactly what it said. Pretty much nothing. Definitely nothing to go on.

“Uhm… Thank you. Happy Holidays.”

There was a beat of silence, again. “That’s it?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Eloquent.” You rolled your eyes at her sarcastic tone. She should see him at court. True though, on personal level, he wasn’t exactly chatty. Unless he opened up a bit over a glass of whiskey--- anyway, she had a point, obviously. “What are you gonna do?”

That snapped you from your musing like a shot of life into your bloodstream.

“That’s why I’m calling! I should-- I should get him something too, right?” Right?! Absolutely. “Oh god, I hate last-minute shopping. And I don’t even have a fucking clue what to buy! Well, a good whiskey is always a safe bet I guess, but supporting his drinking habits doesn’t sound like a good idea. Plus, it’s kinda… impersonal with comparison to what he gave me.”

Though if there was one thing you learned about Andy Barber, it was that he could appreciate the high-quality liquor, so perhaps it wouldn’t have been as impersonal as one might think.

“Well, I don’t know him so I can’t really help, but what you got from him should definitely give you a clue.”

“A clue?” you parroted, confused.

“I don’t mean like a clue for what you should buy him. But… look, even if you didn’t suspect that it’s custom-made, which whoa, he has to pay a lot of attention to buy you something like this. Much more attention than you thought.”

“…okay?”

“He likes you, you dumbass! It doesn’t matter what you get him, he’ll be happy you got him anything in the first place!”

“That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard,” you deadpanned, unsure which statement you were referring to. That he liked you or that you shouldn’t take care to choose something that would really bring him at least a little joy.

You tried your best to ignore how your heart skipped the beat at the former.

“Whatever. Harry’s throwing a hungry eye on me, I gotta go fix him a snack unless I want him to eat all the candy again. Good luck!”

“Amber!“ you called out in honest despair, panic rising in your chest, only to get no answer.

You pulled the phone from your ear to look at the screen, already knowing what awaited you.

Disconnected.

Fuck.

It seemed you were on your own. Wasn’t that wonderful?

You shot your sister a simple ‘I hate you’ text, the gears in your head already turning frantically in order to figure out what you could get Andy.

Amber replied with a set of laughing emojis within seconds. Bitch, leaving you alone to deal with a situation like this! What a sister she was.

You sighed, admiring the delicate lines of the bracelet again, torn between indulgence and guilt. There was no questioning whether you should buy Andy something too.

Say yay for the last-minute shopping for a man out of your league and whom you had no idea what you should get.

You were utterly at loss, growing anxious not only about the difficult choice of a gift, but also about possible delivery, wondering what should you even tell him and when.

Maybe though…. just maybe, you were getting kinda excited about what you were about to do too.

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧

Three hours.

You spent almost three hours at the mall where you could barely breathe because of the crazy crowds and yet you were none the wiser; your excitement left you quickly, once again replaced by despair. It took you three hours and passing the lingerie shop four times, a shop with pieces on display that barely covered anything, intended for either bedroom games or a swimming pool, before it finally hit you.

You cursed under your breath, calling yourself an idiot in murmur loud enough to have few people around you look at you in surprise.

“Dumbass, I’m such a dumbass,” you continued your monologue as you fished out your phone, quickly scrolling through your contacts.

To say that the person on the other end was shocked to hear from you at this time of month and hour was an understatement.

“Yeah, I’m sorry, Lee. I have… eh, a favour to ask…”

✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧ ✦ ✧

You were being ridiculous.

Absolutely and utterly ridiculous as you stood on a modest porch in front of a small family house, the roof hiding you from the intrusive drizzle but not keeping you quite safe from the wind as you clutched your handbag to your side as if it was your lifeline, cursing yourself for not wearing a scarf in December.

Your nose was practically freezing, your cheeks burned from the wind and your hands were cold too, because you were stupidly underdressed; as if you haven’t lived in Portland your whole life.

But that wasn’t the main issue; an Uber dropped you off about five minutes ago and still, here you were, standing outside and trying to convince yourself to ring the bell.

The plan had been to finish packing a bag and leave around 10 p.m. to your sister’s house, where you would spend the night so you could be with her family on Christmas Day from the very beginning. But then Andrew fucking Barber, your fabulous boss, left a gift in your office, a breath-taking bracelet now sitting low on your right wrist, and it all went to hell.

Maybe you could still make it to your sister’s house – it was shortly after nine, your bag waiting on your bed, so maybe you should just call another Uber and be on your way. Maybe you could leave the silly envelope in the post-box just so you wouldn’t have to deal with Andy’s reaction; after all, he had chosen the same approach; cookies be damned, there would be more left for Harry then-

But you really, really wanted to thank him. And you might be shitting your pants, but the prospect of seeing him in a domestic environment, possibly more relaxed, perhaps nearing the man you had had the honour to see on those nights… you couldn’t make yourself to pass on that opportunity.

At the same time, you kept reminding yourself that Andy did not expect to see you tonight, he might not even be home – you were pretty sure a dim light was coming from the living room, the TV on probably, but yeah, you could keep lying to yourself – and that he might be grieving and genuinely might hate you for invading his privacy since you had to search his home address in the official documents.

Yeah, you definitely should just spin on your heels and-

“Oh for God’s sake,” you muttered under your breath and pressed the doorbell, your heart suddenly hammering in your ribcage as you realized there were no takebacks now. “Shit.”

Maybe you should just run. What if he had fallen asleep already and you just woke him up?! Oh, he was so going to be pissed and he might even show that emotion, screaming you down like he did one with that intern-

A scruffle on the other side of the door snapped you from your hopeless expectations and you sucked in a horrified breath.

And then the door slid open before you could react and you were certain you looked like a deer caught in the headlights, a semi-frozen deer to make the situation worse and--- there he was.

You quickly dropped your gaze, only then realizing how rude that was and that you should meet his eye no matter how much you did and did not want to do so at the same time. As you gaze travelled up, you found that a domestic Andy was everything you imagined he would be; black socks, loose dark grey sweats, pale t-shirt slightly wrinkled. One of his arms hung loosely by his side, the other still at the door-knob as you continued your inspection, gaze caressing the line of his bare forearm, reaching the sleeves that were hugging his biceps precisely. Broad shoulders, perfectly trimmed beard framing plush lips with the slightest hint of a curious smile.

You smiled awkwardly as your eyes met his watching you with interest, dimmed with a hint of a doze-off you must have woken him up from. You tried not to dwell on the inconspicuous redness surrounding his irises.

“I’m sorry if I woke you up!” you blurted out quickly, rewarded with a light shake of his head and a stifled yawn; subtle.

“You didn’t. Hi,” he greeted you, only to make you realize that 1. you forgot to say hi and 2. his post-nap voice was a thing from wet dreams-- which was definitely not relevant at that moment.

“Hi,” you offered unsurely, eyes roaming his face, searching for any trace of anger. All you found was bewilderment; if pleasant or not, you couldn’t tell.

“I’m sorry for barging in. I just… uhm- I wanted to thank you and-“

The hint of a smile on his lips grew a fraction, expression softening at your admission and before you could find your footing, he opened the door further, subtly extending his hand to usher you in.

Your heart skipped a beat, the strangest feeling tickling your gut, teeth sinking into your lower lip, the grip on your handbag growing stronger. Yet you accepted, taking two reluctant steps inside. The door clicked shut behind you, sealing whatever fate awaited you.

Attempting not to look too nosy, you turned back to Andy rather than scanning the hall.

Words got stuck in your throat. As tired as he looked, worn to a bone by everything but physical exercise, you couldn’t but marvel at what a handsome man he was, even without his smart suits and ties and neatly styled fluffy hair; it was still very fluffy, just more of a mess than a fashion statement.

God, wasn’t he beautiful.

He kept looking at you too in mute anticipation of something, appearing mildly lost just as you were, giving the impression of a man who couldn’t tell what to expect.

Your gaze locked with his, unyielding, a gorgeous trap and you knew you had to say or do something before your heart gave out entirely.

Your mouth opened, no words coming out and you cursed yourself, simply opening the bag and pulling out a Tupperware box with half the cookies you baked last night, practically shoving it to Andy’s capable hands.

He accepted the item with eyebrows shooting up once before settling back, eyes misting for a moment. His fingertips brushed yours as he took a firm hold of the box, the not-quite-there smile of his remaining on his lips.

He seemed perplexed.

You felt like an idiot.

“This feels so silly now,” you admitted with a sigh, realizing the absurdity of the situation only accented by the fact that you stood there in the hall of his home in your coat and high-boots, ridiculously overdressed in comparison to him.

“It’s not,” he whispered finally, forcing the corners of his mouth to rise higher. “Thank you. Didn’t know you baked. Should have figured.”

You shrugged. “Never came up.”

Something shifted in his expression as did in the air; you knew he sensed it too. The unspoken hung between you, that you meant not in your daily routine at the office, but on your private nights, so rare and precious, so desperately pretended to be non-existent the next morning.

Your gaze lowered as the silence fell on your pair again and you awkwardly shifted your weight from one leg to the other. His Adam’s apple bobbed.

“So, uh-“

“Thank you for the bracelet. Really. It was-” you licked your lips, meeting his eyes again, so deep, so blue and somehow soft and you forgot what you were about to say. “Eh- I wasn’t expecting it. I-- I didn’t think you’d… notice. And--- care.”

His brows furrowed for a bit and he placed the box on the shoe rack next to him; an action he soon regretted you guessed, because his fingers went for his wrist as if he wanted to readjust his cufflinks, a nervous habit of his, only to meet bare skin. Good to know you weren’t the only one iffy in this conversation.

“But you liked it?” he asked almost shyly and the corners of your lips rose on instinct as did you right hand, the sleeve of your coat sliding down a fraction, enough to reveal the new accessory. “Looks pretty on you.”

Your breath hitched as his fingers gently slid over one of the symbols, brushing over the sensitive skin of your wrist. His gaze returned to yours, a flicker of something heated in his eyes, calling butterflies to your stomach.

Lord have mercy.

“Thanks- uhm--- thank you. Here, I got you something too.” You quickly reached into the handbag again to hide how flustered you felt – for a different reason than awkwardness.

He had touched your wrist and you turned into a blushing mess. Fabulous. And to make the matter more humiliating, now a twinkle of amusement played in his irises.

“You gave me a plant. And cookies.”

“Yeah. Kinda? But that was more of a… gesture?” you offered reluctantly as you handed him the envelope. “I uh—this is probably stupid, but, uhm--- here.”

“Stop putting yourself down,” he muttered darkly, causing your cheeks to burn hotter. “Thank you. You didn’t have to get me anything.” Pulling out the firm colourful paper, he blinked a few times, seemingly surprised. Ha, you bet he expected a Walmart card! Instead, there was a voucher for five entrances to the swimming pool where your friend Lee worked at. “Oh. Thank you. That’s really nice of you.”

A stone the size of Texas fell from your stomach and you couldn’t help the sigh of relief. Andy seemed genuinely pleased by your choice of gift and you felt your whole body relax.

“It’s just… eh, just for half an hour each and you can pick them on a horizon of three months. I’m not sure how often you like going, so… uhm, my friend works at the place, so you just give her a call and it shouldn’t be a problem to book it for mornings right before the opening hours,” you explained lamely, earning a puzzled look.

“How did you know I liked going when no one’s there?”

That caused one corner of your lips twitch in slight amusement and your eyebrow arch, even if his reasons weren’t exactly funny; his cheeks flushed a hint of red, a sight to behold for more than one reason. It was nice to have the roles reserved, you making him feel flustered for once.

Really? The rather quiet lone-wolf Andy Barber, followed by reporters still, just asked you this? Cute.

“…that’s fair,” he said and for a brief second, you were afraid you had shared your thoughts out loud. But he didn’t look offended, so probably not. The self-awareness then. “Thank you.”

“No problem. I’m-eh, glad you like it.”

You stood there again, both smiling – a little reluctantly, a little soft – and once again you had no idea how to proceed.

What you did know was that you enjoyed talking to him, even if it was awkward like this. You enjoyed seeing him in his natural habitat, in his home, relatively relaxed. You thrived seeing more of this Andy Barber, just a handsome guy, not Andrew Barber, the hot-shot lawyer.

He was the first to break the silence, hesitantly gesturing further into the house.

“Would you—would you like to-“

YES! was what you brain screamed.

“Oh, I don’t want to be a bother…” was what you told him, mentally cuffing yourself on the head.

“You’re not,” Andy opposed lowly. The whisper of your name that followed made you shiver.

His gazed trailed all over your face, so intense you would swear he saw right into your soul and further. You felt naked, but for some reason not too vulnerable – Andy seemed to like what he saw, expression genuinely inviting and yet. Yet there was a subtle promise of this not being a friendly invite which was as exciting as unsettling. The air appeared the crackle and you found yourself yearning to taste the electricity on your tongue.

“May I?”

He beckoned to your coat, suddenly free hands already rising and all you could do was to nod, automatically placing your handbag on the floor and unbuttoning the garment. Once if fell open, revealing simple black jeggings and a light pink sweater, Andy sidestepped you, fingers sliding under the hem, cautiously skimming over the bare skin above your collarbones, leaving a burning sensation in their wake.

The warmth of his fingertips seeped into your flesh and yet you shuddered, goosebumps rising on your skin.

You watched Andy put your coat away with care, turning back to you torturously slowly. He filled all of your personal space, so close and too far. You weren’t sure when exactly the air turned so heavy in your lungs, but as your gaze travelled to his lips, not missing how his sought yours in return, you felt all the oxygen leave the room.

“Andy,” the word rolled off your tongue, nothing but a soundless breath of his name.

His gaze flickered from your eyes to your lips again and back before he spoke, voice barely above a whisper, hoarse.

“Am I imagining it?”

He didn’t have to say what and still you knew with absolute certainty that he was addressing the unbearable and delicious tension, the one that had been building and coming to life during those three nights you had spent talking in his office late--- and now it was back with smouldering intensity.

“You’re not.”

You shivered and gulped when he cautiously took a single little step further into your space, your gaze falling to his chest, lowering in sudden surge of the deep-rotted insecurity, whispering about your and his world being thousands of miles apart. And yet, your heart raced in anticipation, your hopes dizzyingly high that you might touch heaven, even if for a few moments.

When his fingertips grasped your jaw, tough light and oh so careful, your eyelids fluttered close, already indulging in the sensation. God, his touch was so soft despite the roughness of his fingertips…

As if he wished to torture you or to indulge that sweet little moment before lips met lips, he stopped an inch from his destination, his breaths as wavering as yours, the words whispered straight into your mouth just a little broken.

“I’m fucked up.”

Your brain basked in blissful fog, but this got across, causing you to tense briefly.

You couldn’t deny what he was saying, you both knew he spoke the ultimate truth – well, you guessed. What had happened to him, having his life dismantled and then losing his family, that sort of thing was bound to leave a scar. Confirming it bluntly though, that felt unforgiving, only adding insult to injury.

“We all are,” you whispered instead, not only because you wouldn’t say ‘fucked up’, the words too harsh.

And it wasn’t trivializing the tragic turn his life had taken. It wasn’t downplaying the depth of his wounds. It wasn’t necessarily implying that you had been through something equally horrible either. Most importantly, it wasn’t you mocking him.

And somehow, he understood that; even if he could have interpreted it in every wrong way imaginable and shove you away, insulted, disgusted.

But no, in that fleeting moment that meant everything, Andy understood that this was your acceptance; this was you telling him that you were willing to try; take whatever he offered and give anything you could in return.

Finally, his lips brushed over yours, slightly chapped and oh so warm and delicious, withdrawing too soon, leaving you to savour the taste as your ran your tongue over your own lips. You inhaled shakily, overwhelmed by everything that was him, powerful, electrifying and then your hand was somehow on his chest, your palm laid over his racing heart, your fingers twitching as his ribcage expanded with a sharp inhale.

Blindly, your mouth searched his again, his whiskers tickling softly and scratching at once, a pleasant sensation on your sensitive skin as he grew bolder, and truly attached your lips in a kiss that made you feel lightheaded with the emotion poured into it. Your hand curled around his nape, an instinct to pull him closer, fingers toying with the short soft hair there, drawing a hum from within the expanse of his chest.

You granted him access to your mouth when he wordlessly asked, but it was him who retreated shortly after that, his heart now appearing as if in pain with its furious beats under your palm. His breaths started coming out short and it dawned to you what was wrong. How fast this could have felt to him, even if he was the one to start it.

‘I’m fucked up,’ he had said. Too caught in the moment, you hadn’t fully realized the extent of his words perhaps.

But you did now – at least a little better than before.

So when he rested his forehead against yours and a breathless ‘sorry’ slipped from his lips, you shook your head lightly and planted a kiss on his cheek, hand still on the back of his head, fingers running over his scalp in a hopefully soothing motion.

“I’ve got you, Andy. You lead.”

You had no strength to keep him close when he pulled his face away, your eyes snapping open in fright that you had said something terribly wrong.

But Andy’s cerulean eyes were big and glassy, grateful and softly speaking about him being… moved by your proposition. Your heart felt like it just grew twice its size, too big to fit into your chest at what a breath-taking picture he was.

The next thing you knew, he dropped a chaste kiss to your forehead and pulled you into his arms, an almost protective embrace, kissing the top of your head for a good measure and you melted against his large frame, smiling into t-shirt.

“Thank you,” he murmured breathlessly into your hair and your smile widened, remembering the note he had left with the exquisite gift that had started everything that led you right here into this moment.

“Happy Holidays.”

Thank you for reading! I’ve been sitting on this since the beginning of damn November. I hope you enjoyed.

It was my first (and maybe last) time writing Andy, so I hope it was alright. Feedback always appreciated.

P.S. – sorry if the nosy reporters thing offended you.

P.P.S. - …I know, the prompt was veeery loosely filled. Shush.

Pretty divider by whismicalrogers.

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