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mvltixcc · 3 months

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Girls Like Girls - Robin Buckley X Cheerleader!Reader

Summary: Robin has a crush on the new girl in town. Y/N is also a new member of the cheer squad, which means Robin sees her all the time at games and other school events. Unfortunately, Robin is put in a tough situation. She's scared to talk to her because the cheerleaders have a reputation of being mean girls and she fears that Y/N may not feel the same. Little does Robin know that Y/N does not appear as she seems. Y/N becomes best friends with Eddie, which seems unlikely at the surface due to different social circles. This leads to rumors of course and word spreads like wildfire here at Hawkins, which then makes Robin's feelings even more confusing. After hanging out with Steve and the gang, Robin starts to see a different side to Y/N. Will they end up together or will they just remain friends?

Word Count: 2.3k

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Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4

Chapter 5

“Hey pretty lady!” You say skipping up to Robin as she walked into work.

“Hey stranger!” She responded with a smile.

“Are you doing anything for Thanksgiving this year?” You asked, twirling your skirt.

“Oh I um-” Robin cleared her throat. “I don’t have anything going on actually. My parents are gonna be out of town on a trip they've had planned for over a year, why do you ask?”

“I was having a little get together with some people since it’s just gonna be me and my family, I thought maybe you’d like to join!” You suggested. Robin’s face lit up like a little kid on Christmas morning. “I’d love to!” She proclaimed.

“Oh yay! How exciting, all 6 of us are gonna have so much fun!” You said, Robin’s facial expression dropping at this.

“6? Who um, who else will be there exactly?” Robin questioned.

“Well my family and I of course! Steve will be there too since his parents aren't really around much. And also Eddie as well, his uncle is gonna be working that day and I didn't want him to be alone.” You stated.

“Oh okay, that’s- that's great! I cant wait!” Robin tried to hide her disappointment.

“Yay!! I’ll see you there! Okay, I’m off you have a good shift! Don’t drive her too crazy, Harrington.” You joked as you headed out the door.

“But that’s my job!” Steve replied. He turned to Robin and noticed the mood change. “What’s wrong?” He asked.

She sighed. “I didn’t know Eddie was gonna be at this get together. I thought it was gonna be like-”

“A date?” Steve questioned.

“Maybe I guess, I don’t know.” Robin said, putting her head in her hands.

“I still don’t see why you don’t make the first move?” Steve suggested.

“Oh I don’t know, maybe because it would end totally horrifically. Catastrophic even!” She exclaimed.

“But you don’t know that, maybe it won't end the way you think it will.” He said.

“Look, can we just drop it please?” Robin asked, getting ready to start her shift. Steve nodded and went to stock the candy.

“Well don’t you look nice!” Steve complimented as he picked up Robin.

“Thanks dingus, you don’t look too bad yourself.” She thanked her friend.

“What the hell is that?” Steve asked, pointing to the container in her lap.

“It’s a pie, what have you never seen a pie before?” She joked.

“Since when do you bake?” He scoffed as he continued to drive to Y/N’s house.

“Don’t be stupid, I bought this from the store. You really think that I’m gonna make her eat a pie that I don’t know how to make? Plus, at least I brought something, I don’t see you with anything.” Robin stated.

“Uh huh okay whatever Buckley.” He laughed.

As Steve drove the rest of the way to the destination, Robin’s nervousness increased. She spent all week trying to make everything perfect for today. From her hair, her outfit, and what she would say in a conversation. She practiced VERY hard with that as she didn’t want to be a rambling mess in front of you. She got so lost in her anxious thoughts that she didn’t even notice that they had arrived.

“Earth to Robin, hellooo?” Steve said, waving his hand in front of Robin’s face trying to capture her attention.

“What huh, sorry.” She replied coming back to reality.

“Look who was waiting for you.” Steve said pointing to the door, she saw you standing there in this cute outfit waving at the both of them. A blush began to creep upon her face. The pair got out of the car and made their way toward you.

“I’m so happy you guys are here! Come in come in!” You said leading your friends inside. Everyone was sitting there chatting and eating snacks. Robin looked around expecting to see your parents. “So guys this is my nana and papa, and this is Steve and Robin!” Y/N said introducing the two friends to your family.

“And I’m Eddie.” Eddie said as he stuffed his face with cheese cubes.

“Yes Eds we all know who you are.” You chuckled at him. “Now save some cheese for the rest of us!” You say slapping the cheese out of his hand. This made everyone laugh.

Everyone began to converse with one another and having a good time, which you were glad. You took hosting VERY seriously and wanted everyone to get along. You made sure that everything was perfect for today. “Hey, where did you want me to put this pie?” Robin asked as she approached you in the kitchen.

You turned around to face her, “oh um you can set it on the counter over there.” You say pointing to the free spot. You went back to adding the finishing touches to everything.

“Is there anything you need help with?” Robin asked, now standing next to you.

“Yes actually! Can you put the potatoes into the bowl over there for me please?” You asked kindly. Robin nods and starts to help out. She finishes up and is shocked at herself that she didn’t drop any.

“Alright everyone, time to eat! Ah go wash your hands you goose!” You said smacking Eddie's hand as he was reaching for the rolls.

"Ouch! Will you stop smacking my hands?" Eddie chuckled.

He returned and everyone sat down and began to eat. The food was being passed around as well as the stories, especially from your papa. Boy did he love to tell his stories. Robin was having a great time, all her anxiety was gone by this point. She was sitting next to you, just enjoying your company and that was all that mattered most to her. ‘Maybe everything would be okay after all.' She thought to herself. Boy was she so very wrong.

Your grandparents had just went to bed so now it was just the 4 of you hanging out. Steve and Robin were in the living room while Eddie was helping you clean up. While Steve and Robin were dancing, they heard a screech coming from the kitchen. They both ran to see what had happened. There you were being playful with Eddie. He was chasing you around with olives on his fingers. “BWAH!!” Eddie said as he chased you.

“Stop, that’s so gross, you don’t even like olives anyways!!” You chuckled, trying to get away from him. He wrapped you up in his arms and lifted you up in the air. “Ahhh put me down you weirdo!!” You yelled.

Robin’s heart sank as she watched the scene unfold in front of her. She felt tears brimming her eyes. She pushed past Steve and grabbed her coat. Steve tried to call out for her to stop, but she ran out of the house. Y/N heard the door slam and Eddie set you down to go see what had happened. You walked into the living room and saw that both Robin and Steve were gone. You opened the front door and saw the car was now gone too. You felt a wave of sadness hit. Had you done something wrong for them to leave so suddenly? Without a goodbye at that. Eddie noticed the sadness in your eyes.

“Hey come here.” He said pulling you into a hug. “Maybe there was an emergency, I know it’s hard not to take it personal, but try not to, okay? At least not until you know what happened.” He hated seeing you so sad. "Come on, let's go finish up in the kitchen." You nodded and followed him.

"Alright here you go." You say handing Eddie the containers of food.

"Thanks, Wayne is gonna be thrilled to have this when he gets home from work." He thanked. "You know how he loves your cooking."

"Anytime!" You said trying to flash a smile, but in the back of your mind you couldn't stop thinking about Robin. Eddie could see the look on your face.

"I know." Eddie said as he pulled you into a hug. "Everything will be okay, I'm here for you always." He pulled away. "How about I come over tomorrow and we can do something just the two of us yeah?" He suggested.

"I'd really like that." You said with a smile. Eddie always knew how to make you feel better.

Eddie pulls you in for another hug. "Perfect, I'll see you tomorrow then okay peach?" You nod.

You helped him out to his van with all the food you had packed him and said your goodbyes. As he pulled out of the driveway he waved at you and you waved back. Then he drove on home and you were left alone to your thoughts. You went upstairs to shower and get ready for bed. You couldn't help but cry as you were in there. You never wanted to upset anyone and the thought of you doing that to Robin affected you deeply. After your shower, you crawled into bed and passed out.

Some time had passed since the last time you saw Robin. She wasn’t at school the week after everything had happened so you’ve tried calling and going to her house, but you heard nothing. And even when she finally came back, she avoided you. She just won't talk to you and that devastated you. You weren’t sure what had happened, so you didn’t know how to make things right.

Steve was no help either, he wanted to tell you because you were his friend too but he had to respect Robin’s wishes. You had quit your job at the family video because it made you too sad going there and not being with Robin.

You’d cry to Eddie all the time about how sad it made you and he was there for you the best he could, he hated seeing you like this. Eddie knew how much you cared for Robin. He even tried to reach out to Robin to try and fix whatever had happened, but he got nowhere.

It was now Christmas time and Steve had invited you over for a small get together. Part of you had hoped Robin would be there, but the chances of that were low. You still had gotten her a gift anyways, you didn’t want her to feel like you stopped caring about her. You finally had your own car so that meant no more Eddie driving you around everywhere, not that he’d complain anyways. You pulled up to Steve’s house and grabbed the gifts out of your trunk, soon making your way to the front door.

“Well look who decided to finally show up!” Steve said as he opened the door for you. You couldn't see him because of the big pile of gifts you had, but you could tell it was him by the sound of his voice. “Got enough gifts there Y/N?” He chuckled, helping you take some inside.

“Hey I didn’t want anyone to go without a gift!” You stated.

“Even me?” You heard someone say from behind. You turned around to see who it was and once the realization had hit, you ran right into their arms.

“God I’ve missed you so much.” You said softly as your voice began to break, tears welling up in your eyes.

“I missed you too Y/N.” Robin replied, hugging you tightly.

You pulled away to face her, tears streaming down your face at this point. “I’m so so so beyond sorry Robin, I-” She interrupted you.

“No no, there’s no need to apologize. You’ve done nothing wrong. There was just- a lot going on in my head and I needed some time to work through it.” She said, wiping your tears. You hugged her again not wanting to let go, you truly did miss her.

“So no Eddie huh?” She asked.

“No, he’s at home spending time with his uncle while they both have the time off from working.” You stated.

“Ah I see, that’s good I guess.” Robin replied. She was a little happy that he wouldn’t be there with you so she could have you all to herself.

“Alright come on you two, let’s go open gifts!” Steve interrupted

Everyone sat around in a circle and opened their gifts. Everyone had gotten things that they had enjoyed or needed, like Y/N got movies, Nancy got notepads for when she did her reporting, Steve got cans of hairspray (naturally), and the kids got stuff for DND. But Robin got random stuff, things that weren't really for her or what she liked. Things like candy, stickers, or knick knacks from a gumball machine. Basic stocking stuffers. She was grateful of course, but she felt like no one really knew her or didn’t care to get her anything that she would like. That was until she opened your gift. You had gotten her favorite records as well as ones that she had been wanting to get for a long time. She had the biggest smile on her face and her heart felt so full. No one had ever payed this much attention to her, not even Steve. She felt seen and heard for once. You went over to her spot and sat next to her.

“Merry Christmas Robin.” You said giving her a warm hug.

“Merry Christmas Y/N.” She replied, hugging you tightly. She really had missed you a lot and she was glad to have you back.

Next chapter

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official-fedex · 2 months

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heyo i'm here to collect your info for the website! all are optional, and i'm sry if i already asked you (my spreadsheet got all funky)

Any names you use

Any corpverse relatives

Affiliation in the corp/gimmickverse (Such as browsers)

Occupation (Such as shitposter)

Your character's date of birth

Your character's place of birth

Your character's species

Character's Gender

Character's Height

Any major events within the corpversepersonalityappearanceany other lore

Any photos you'd like on your page! these r superhelpful for breaking text up

-@the-corporation-information-blog (@unity-real)

let’s do this ~ Any names you use:

FedEx, and Fed as a nickname

Any corpverse relatives

not rly tbh. I have a list of friends in the fandom wiki; but I’m not related to any o them

Affiliation in the corp/gimmickverse (Such as browsers)

delivery service

Occupation (Such as shitposter)

I’m just like a lil delivery boy

Your character's date of birth

June 18th (year unknown bcuz yeah)

Your character's place of birth

unknown. [LISTEN I GOTTA BE MYSTERIOUS-]

Your character's species

part-human part-robot and a few drops of blood of a mysterious species

Character's Gender

idk my own gender so just put unknown or unlabeled or smth (he/they)

Character's Height

not sure if we’re using gabes height chart or just like what we decide but I’m going with what we decide and hoooo boy it was hard to decide if I wanted to be rly short or rly tall so ima go with 5”6 | 167.64 cm

Any major events within the corpverse

among the corpoverse I haven’t participated in many major events… and there aren’t any major lore events yet either. I’m working on some lore but it’s not finished and I wanted to respond to this soon. but since I have to put something I’ll say making my own FedEx pov fanfic and joining ikeas side in the war

personality

basically my irl personality except cooler. so uh FedEx is generally a nice guy to everyone except Amazon and bad people, tho he’s awkward and anxious all the time :D and not good at being social in general. he just really wants to make friends…

appearance

ok so his skin is white (not white perskn white, like paper white cuz robot) and his hair kinda like a light reaaaally light lavender. in the middle of his hair are two hair that are orange n purple. his hair covers his eyes so u can’t see them but underneath the hair his eyes are this like glowing purple. He’s also got a nose ring bcuz rose rings r cool.

any other lore

well, me and @totally-amazon hate eachother and me n @totally-ikea are besties (I think) and I also have winged shoes. they’re vans but that’s not important at the moment but I’m gonna make some more important better lore soon and tag it #fedex lore

Any photos you'd like on your page! these r superhelpful for breaking text up

first two drawn by me, third drawn by Gabe

#fedex is the best #fedex posting #fedex

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lockmad · 2 months

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I’m going to try to make this make sense, but no promises… but I’m also going to acknowledge that Tumblr is like a diary to me and I don’t expect anyone to read this but if you read it hello! 👋 I hope you are well

I’m really struggling right now… my grandmother just passed away and she truly meant the world to me and I don’t even feel like I’ve had the time to grieve.

I had to pick up my whole entire life and move in with my grandfather within a week, I’ve been with him for two weeks, and he is struggling in ways we didn’t predict. I am also struggling in ways I did not predict. I have clinical depression, but I thought I had learned the skills needed to deal with things like this… I need to give myself credit though because I’m dealing a lot better than I would’ve when I was 19 or 22.

I’ve put so much work into myself and I’m trying so hard but I am so tired of life kicking my ass.

Life is hard for so many reasons, I think a lot of people my age feel it. The economy, climate change, the way the majority of men are acting in regards to dating, not even that, but the whole idea of dating now is so hard with social media.

No one puts themselves out there, and when I personally do put myself out there, no one responds. And I want to make it abundantly clear to myself, as well as others, that I am not an unattractive person. I think a lot of the time the people who are expressing this discomfort with the dating scene are being told that there’s something wrong with them, and I would like to acknowledge that sometimes, things are not your fault. I am not ugly. I am not hard to be around. I am not unlikable. I would be the best thing that has ever happened to the right person. Most men would be lucky to kiss the ground I walk on, and I mean that in the most polite way possible …

I’m constantly struggling with the idea that I don’t have much time to love and enjoy life because climate change has put a countdown on my life in a way I don’t think any other generations have had to deal with

I feel like I’m going to spend the time I have left alone. And though I don’t see anything wrong with being alone that’s never been what I want.

I want companionship, I want partnership.

I’ve been single for over a year now and I’ve been single for chunks of my life before that and I’m learning to be comfortable with it. But it just isn’t what I want. And now I’m in the situation that I feel has set me back.

I’m struggling with an abundance of emotions that no one seems to be able to empathize with and it all comes down to the fact that I am lonely…

I just don’t wanna be alone…

Anyway, I’m not sure any of that made sense. I’m really just trying to use any and every outlet I have to keep myself above ground. I don’t feel like I deserve this, I don’t feel like my grandfather deserves this, I don’t feel like my mother deserves this. I don’t understand why life is so painful and I just came to vent to the void or whoever you are reading this right now.

EDIT: I also want to acknowledge, for my own sake, that my relationship with death is very complicated. I was raised very religiously, and I am an agnostic if anything. But truly, I’m not sure how anything like heaven could be real. My grandmother was a devoted Catholic and she’s gone. I don’t know how to understand that she’s just gone. I don’t think I’ll see her again someday, I don’t think her spirit is with me or is watching over me, she’s just gone and that’s honestly as horrifying as if I were to believe she could watch over me right now (which is a concept that gave me extreme anxiety as a child. The idea that my loved ones could watch and judge me from above) I have not grieved her properly yet. She was a very anxious woman herself, and chose to not have awake funeral or burial. When she died in the hospital, I kissed her forehead and she was gone. I will never see her again, and I have nothing to visit, no grave to put flowers on, and no closure.

Obviously, her thoughts and feelings were complicated. I could get into the details of my family dynamics and all that but I don’t know.. I can’t change anything so what’s the point, right? it’s all out of my control ..

Ciao

#diary entry

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riddle-me-ri · 1 year

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With various riddlers, what kind of dere do you think each one is? (Ex:kuudere, yandere,etc.) Arkhamverse Eddie is a definitely a tsundere.

A/N: okay okay so I had to go out and do some research for this one. Cause for the little bit of a year that I spent dabbling into some anime and manga, I thought there was only like four or five dere personalities, only to realize…there’s like over a dozen. So after some research, I feel like I can now appropriately respond rip. Also, some of these personality types depend on a romantic relationship while others don’t…I’m gonna try my best rip. These are my opinions based on my perspectives of both the personality types and the different Riddlers, feel free to agree to disagree but like I don’t wanna cause any crippling discourse adffghh please don’t come at me I’m just a wee anxious socially awkward nerd.

The Riddler’s Dere Personality Types (based on someone who knows the bare minimum):

Arkhamverse Riddler:

So, I do full heartedly agree Arkhamverse Eddie has strong tsundere tendencies. We’re all painfully aware of his loud bravado and egomaniac antics in order to actually protect himself from getting hurt because he’s actually incredibly insecure. He’ll scream, rave, rant, insult, and treat anyone and everyone poorly in order to lift himself up. However, I do believe that if someone can see through his illusions of grandeur but still recognize the inherent brilliance of Ed and recognizes that for him (so he doesn’t have to constantly build himself up) he could be more open, just I wouldn’t expect it to happen over night.

Reevesverse/Dano Riddler:

Dano Riddler was sorta hard to find a good match, I could’ve easily gone with fandom and been like yeah, he’s a yandere (which I can see where y’all get that from, and like if we’re following the storyline that he does/did love Batman). But again, I did my research lol. And from what I’ve seen in the film and the first book of Year One. I’m leaning more towards Dandere (aww dano riddler is a dandere sorry moving on…) Dandere’s are the quiet asocial types that avoid conversation when applicable cause they’re worried about causing conflict or make trouble. In Year One, obviously, we see him struggle interacting with people face to face, and every time he even attempts it, it seems to backfire. UNTIL he dons the Riddler persona and uses that as a cover to express his true emotions and motivations.

Gotham Riddler:

This will be mostly referring to Season 1 Ed, I have seen the show up until the start of Season 3, you girl got super annoyed at the Lee/Ed bullshit and it was hard to stomach. Petty I know, but for all the love and adoration of this Eddie…I sorta can’t stand this Riddler (I know blasphemy to love one but not the other, but it’s my honest opinion…stop lowering your voice you damn dunce) ANYWAY, like…at the start I think he’s more of a deredere (someone whose overall kind, sweet, especially to someone they have a crush on or love and sometimes overly energetic) but obviously as the show progresses it’s clear to see he also has yandere tendencies (murder solves everything *finger guns*)

BTAS Riddler:

While Gotham somewhat starts out this way, my husband is a deredere through and through and I’m not saying that purely from a favoritism standpoint. Judging more so by his demeanor in Riddler’s Reform, we actually got to see how Edward interacts with a somewhat general populous. He was seen to be extremely charismatic and eccentric, albeit also shy (when flirted with) and endearing. I believe this Ed would be overall courteous of others as long as they show the same courtesy, obviously that’s not always the case and therefore he goes to the extremes. He would be kind to a fault, he won’t let someone walk over him however (lookin’ at you Mockridge).

P.S. if I was really playing into my favoritism, I would’ve given him a kekkondere (someone who full heartedly believes in love at first sight and wants to be betrothed asap to me BUT I didn’t I showed some restraint asdffg)

Zero Year/Capullo Riddler & Twojar Riddler:

So I’m gonna cheat and combine these two, TECHNICALLY speaking they are one in the same, storyline wise, so I figured it’d be safe to give them the same personality type even if there’s like a year or two distance between them and their motivations are…odd af sometimes.

For these shitheads I’m going with Kuudere but they also have Hiyakasudere traits.

A kuudere from my understanding is your cool, calm, and collected personality. Which these two shitheads have shown, I mean you’ve gotta be somewhat confident to just waltz around with your shirt open. That and just about every panel of Zero Year Riddler is him with a shit eating grin, even as Batman got closer and closer. They’re also extremely analytical to a fault, twojar being the extra prick he is literally crafted a whole war just get Joker to laugh and Zero Year boasted to Batman all the different variations of plans he conceived before choosing the one that ultimately lead to Zero Year. Not to mention, this Riddler’s start has him as a tactician and consultant of sorts for various corporations.

Where the hiyakasudere traits come in is if there’s someone that’s an object of their affections. Both of them would be chronic teasers and there’s no way you can convince me otherwise. Hiyakasudere, are pretty flirtatious and tease their love interests on an almost daily basis as their way of showing affection.

Gotham City Sirens Riddler:

Much like Zero Year and Twojar, Sirens Riddler I also consider to be a kuudere, but for different reasons.

This particular Riddler is an actual reformed Riddler (not just a ploy like BTAS albeit it’s sometimes debated if he’d actual go straight or not if Batman wasn’t there). He’s also probably one of the most self aware and is constantly having to combat his colleagues and the public’s preconceived notion of who he was. So he’s very cool and calm, despite being held hostage over live animals or jumping in to protect a possible victim from an oncoming bomb. He still stays rational and constantly tries to collect the pieces his fragmented mind as he questions if him changing is even really worth it.

Young Justice Riddler:

I feel like once I explain this personality type, i-it will just make sense to you guys…

A Hajidere is “for someone who’s really shy or nervous around their crush.” Also “they have trouble confessing to the one they love and may often blush or faint at the sight of them making the first move.”

Do…Do I need to say more? I know this is mostly purely fanon based on what little we’ve gathered from the three episodes he was in…but c’mon…that’s on point.

Telltale Riddler:

Now this, asshole.

This absolute stick in the mud asdfjk

Basically, a hindere is someone that’s extremely haughty. He carries himself proudly and with no pretense. Just imagine Arkham Ed, but actually is secure. I had a tough time deciding if Telltale would be a hindere or a tsundere, but a tsundere is described as being capable of kindness and affectionate. I don’t see that with this Ed, purely because of how far he’s gone in his deranged but damaged mind. However, hindere’s aren’t totally without hope, they can have a soft spot for a particular someone, but it has to be an absolute miracle for it to work. (plus i’m just trying to break up the monotony of my answers rip, plus we only get so much out of this one cause well…iykyk)

Hush (DCAU) Riddler:

Bare in mind for this Riddler it’s only for the Edward BEFORE the stupid twist again ifykyk.

Based solely on the mannerisms seen during the middle of the film, I can see him also being a hajidere if there’s a love interest involved.

I’ve always seen this Riddler as an extension of Young Justice, if he actually made it out on his own as he got older, and continued to make a name for himself (and he did although found himself somewhat of a laughing stock). Albeit was still pretty dorky, until he decided to used that assumption people have of him to his advantage later.

He’s able to hold conversations just fine with other people like Batman, other Rogues, GCPD. Those don’t really matter too much, Batman maybe a little more than others. However, when it comes to a crush, this poor man’s dead to rights lol

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Okay, I think that’s my final take…I don’t even wanna admit how many drafts, look backs, and edits this took. Again, totally based on my opinions and outtakes, clearly this isn’t an overly analytical or proper research paper of any kind. This is purely just based on the vibes when reading their stories or watching their performance and taking a pinch of fanon into the equation to fill in some gaps.

Please don’t come at me. Please don’t fight me rip, I’m tired lol.

Thank you

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mbti-notes · 8 months

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Anon wrote: Hello, hope you’re having a good summer break. I’m an intp who’s probably been overcompensating for and overworking Fe, and I don’t really know how to ask for help.

I feel like I’ve come a long way in terms of emotional intelligence since my teenage years - mostly stopped feeling worthless, more action and task-oriented, reaching out to make new friends and care for close ones, and they’ve responded by saying I’m much more understanding and emotionally stable now, even coming off as extroverted - but it doesn’t keep me from feeling lonely. I’ve spoken with friends about feeling sad and unsupported, they would respond by saying they understand, but truth is I barely feel the connection. I’m happy for their company, they just don’t seem able to share my burdens, which are objectively my own. It feels like I’ve overworked myself so now my psyche is demanding that someone else take care of my emotions instead of me doing the work myself. A very subjective internal temper tantrum.

With my infp partner, I’m in this loop where I can sense she’s sad/anxious/unfulfilled, she wouldn’t talk about it because she couldn’t put it into words and also doesn’t feel the need to do so either, I could either try to cheer her up or accept that she’s in her own emotional state and simply wants company. I know and she confirmed that she’s lost interest in many of our common hobbies, but will feel sad if I pull myself away from her for alternative stimulation. But I need stimulation even if she doesn’t. I’ve expressed that simply sharing some of her life and thoughts takes a huge weight off my chest, I love hearing from her, but she insists there simply isn’t any event or thought she could share. I can talk, and she will respond happily. It’s just so draining especially since we’re long distance right now and can only communicate in words. It almost feels easier if I could just be obliviously content to talk to her about anything like I was several years ago.

I’m hoping that taking a vacation from work and study to go home will help me focus more on the things I love (reading, drawing, creating and experiencing life in ways that stimulate my brain) although it does mean a lot more time spent staying with family and other new social circles as well, which could also be a mixed bag.

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When you're in touch with Fe, it makes you more aware of your emotional needs. This is not a bad thing, but it can be a hard thing when you haven't yet learned the best ways to fulfill them. You say your self-worth has improved, which I take to mean that you see your emotional/social needs as legitimate and yourself as deserving of support? Believing you deserve love is the first step for many people.

Because Fe is the inferior function, it's safer to get to it through the auxiliary function whenever possible. For example, using Ne, are you able to visualize the ideal social interaction/communication/relationship that would help you feel more supported and loved? If you were granted control over other people for a short time, what would you make them do to better fulfill your needs? This visualization might give you a more precise idea of what you ought to be requesting of the people around you.

You seem to be implying that this romantic relationship is putting you in a difficult position of having to choose between you and her? I don't think that's the case. While I agree it is sad to feel forced to seek stimulation outside the relationship, a healthy romantic relationship should allow space for such a move. It is unhealthy to believe that one person can/should satisfy your every need. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. Healthy couples should be able to live satisfying lives together... and apart.

I think a good way of looking at the situation is you have a need but she, for whatever reason, isn't capable of fulfilling it. It's nobody's fault but just the reality of the situation. It sounds like she's not as emotionally available as you would like, or not in the way you would like. Maybe when you first met, you didn't realize you needed emotional availability, but now you do. This doesn't mean the relationship has to end, though choosing a new partner better suited to your needs is always an option. When the things that brought you together no longer work to keep you together, then you have to find some other way to remain bonded. Relationships can evolve over time. You also need to come to an agreement that it's okay to get some of your needs fulfilled outside of the relationship. Be honest and transparent about every move.

It sounds like you've imposed an obstacle on yourself and now feel stuck because you really want it to be her to fulfill this need of yours. The fact is, no matter how much you want it, it isn't her. Face the fact and move forward accordingly. Grant yourself permission to take proper care of yourself.

#intp #inferior fe #self care #emotional needs #ask

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seesgood · 1 year

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Hi, I saw your post about the RPC and activity—and no, it’s not just you. However, I’m also someone who tried interacting with you specifically… and you kind of gave me radio silence as well? I kind of felt like I didn’t exist on your dash when we were mutuals, only those close friends who you already engaged with were in your line of sight even when I actively engaged with you from my end. (I bring this up because it leads into my next point on why I think the RPC is dying off).

Maybe that’s a one-time thing/situation but I do feel like sometimes that’s a problem some people don’t realize (not just you, I’ve got it from other people as well) in the RPC as a whole. I think that’s also driving a lot of good, active people away from the RPC, and some people don’t recognize that they need to kind of… at least acknowledge peoples’ presences on the dash. It doesn’t have to be through RP necessarily either; liking their posts, responding if they comment ooc, sending them headcanon or positivity asks, there’s other ways to engage they say “hey, I see you!” that don’t involve the creative juices of writing a reply to them. People start to feel discouraged, or like they’re invisible, or like it’s not worth continuing when their presence isn’t at the very least acknowledged. And in that case, I think people miss out on the opportunity to engage with and write with people they might have built an amazing rapport with.

hi! first of all thank you for sending this in, i'm sure it's not a super easy thing to say to someone and i appreciate you doing so. i'm sorry if i ever came off like i was brushing you off or favoring certain people ( which i'm sure i do, as we all tend to do, because certain people feel safer / more familiar / etc. ) i will say that i make a lot of efforts to engage with people as much as possible, but it's incredibly difficult for me to talk / chat 24/7, especially if it's small talk or those awkward first stages of "omg i love your blog!." it also takes me a really long time to be comfortable with people, and despite the fact that i've been here for awhile, i only have a handful of people that i feel truly comfortable and safe and not anxious talking to. beyond that, i've had a really busy year, my anxiety over the past few months has been worse than it's ever been, and that definitely impacts the way that i interact with people, which is also probably why it feels like i'm only interacting with my friends.

i agree with every single point that you make, i try to make as much of an effort when i can to engage with people's posts on the dash, even if it's just a like or a comment. i think it does A LOT more than people realize. and i do think that you're hitting on this really great and complex topic right now of "it feels like the rpc is dying and one of the reasons is probably because people don't engage with one another the same ways that they used to" and this is true! but at the same time, i think there's also been a shift in feeling like you're owed someone's time / energy / attention and that can be very hard for people to. and i think when those things combine forces into the 'well it's not worth me being here because no one notices me and no one cares' it starts to breed this weird negative energy where it's like "it's on you to give me enough attention to warrant it being worth my time to be here" and i'm not saying that's what you're communicating to me, i'm just saying that's a trend i notice sometimes, and i frankly don't have the time or energy to be like KSJDFHKJSDHFKJSH BESTIE! to every single person, all hours of the day, when i follow a truly obscene ( quadruple digits ) amount of people.

so i think you're right and you make a lot of good points, and i apologize for the fact that my actions --- as unintentional as they were, whatever they were --- made you feel down about your presence here, but i would also like to kindly say to that: i'm not an extroverted person. i'm not a socially confident person. it takes a lot of energy for me ( and many others, i'm sure ) to sustain conversations with people we don't know (yet) and are not familiar with (yet) on a website with a culture that can be as volatile as tumblr's. my biggest rp advice is to do the things that YOU enjoy that make YOU happy, and try not to tailor it to other people. if you do that, i promise people will come. and i don't mean this in a "how dare you accuse me of such a thing i am a perfect human' i am not. i am far from it. i too have felt and do feel often the way you feel.

TL;DR + unsolicited advice, don't take a "me" thing and let your brain twist it into a "you" thing ( i.e. oh lia never messages me back but she's talking to all these people on the dash, she must hate me and i should just leave ) i promise you people's behaviors are more reflective of what's going on with them than what they think of you

#/ answered.#but fr i've had so many conversations with people where they're like #you're so quiet i feel like youre mad :/ oh you havent messaged me in ages :/ i thought you wanted space :/#i am simply just not an overly chatty person unless i have something to be chatty about #( this is talking about like conversations --- not dash shitposts )#anyway this got long sORRY

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lovergirlp · 1 year

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The Triangle Chronicles

Spin of The Night: Memory Lane - Minnie Riperton

11:48 p.m. 12/15

One thing I can say about being in my early twenties is that, emotionally, it feels pretty unrewarding so far. I don’t know why, but I thought I would be in a fantasy… well I hate to say fantasy… but yeahhh, fantasy kind of love right now. I can honestly say that I’m stuck. Men are very unique, very difficult, sources of pleasure & yet I keep finding myself sorting delights into different boxes!

Tell me, is it selfish to desire deep emotional connection or “am I too young” still? Well I’ll tell you one thing, I think I’m out of time. I feel like I’m on a great path, I'm working on my career, I’m working on being a better mom, just working on getting my whole life together really. All the while, I keep finding myself in the position where I think I can change another’s reality.

⤁⤀⤀

“Love was the loneliest corner in the room. Everyone was afraid of the thorns that surrounded her flowers.”

⤁⤀⤀

I’m out of time because I’ve reserved it. I flirt, I date, and I can appreciate some genuine conversations about interesting worldly & otherworldly topics. The only issue is I seem to attach myself rather quickly, and it’s a bitch to let go. I’ve been out of a 3-year relationship for 6, almost 7 months now, and I can honestly say that I think I made a very hard, but good decision. So far in that time, my ex has found his way back into my life, oh and as an extra twist he is across a few states. Still, I dream of a future & most days he’s in it. With all of that I am also engrossed in an affair with a man that I know little of logically, but deeply of emotionally. What started off as a rebound from the heartbreak of my breakup from my daughter’s father, turned into an erotic, intuitively transformative, real-life, emotional-rollercoaster. However, that’s another story, for another time.

⤁⤀⤀

I met my ex (not my child's father), when I was around 16 years old, and we had a few sort of stable, unstable, iwasstrynamakesomebodyjealouswhodidntloveme, ass months! Then he moved away, so did I, we tried, but I messed it up. Fast forward a couple more years, I meet my child’s father & after pretty much no contact, I let it all go. So I thought. He congratulated me on my daughter on Snapchat, (which I was surprised, anxious, nervous and excited to see) and then nothing, for almost 2 years. Then, about a year ago we reconnected via social media & I can’t disconnect. The way he responds tells me he feels the same. Although, from day to day , it’s difficult to read his emotions, I imagine he feels the same way about me. Even with all that we have been through, this man has always been here. We’ll call him.. “Loverman.” Right now even though I am intertwined in a pretty tumultuous love affair with another man, we’ll call him “Max”, that has still never affected the love I have for Loverman, he’s never made love with my body, only my mind and yet I’m the most attached I’ve ever been to another man, to him, in this lifetime. He is the only man that has never asked for one thing from me, lover or friend, emotionally or physically, monetarily or of my time and yet I would give it all. Sex with Max is amazing and emotionally tied but my body is in a completely different space with LM. I don’t regret the steps that have made me the woman I am today, but I do regret how easily I disregarded the feelings of the men I love(d) over time. I can be so selfish, I’m finding my balance.

⤁⤀⤀

I'm scared that our time will run out. At 23, almost 24 years old, I feel I’ve found an absolute love. Does Loverman feel the same? IDK, but the fact that we’ve both been holding on, and now we both find ourselves in a predicament where we are single and we can’t leave one another alone, it does make the mind wonder. He’s an older man so I like to think that he really doesn’t want to waste his time. All I know is that when the time comes, I’m going to get my love. I can’t wait any more, our love is the kind I would love to sit in front of a fire and tell our kids about.

Best Regards,

LovergurlP ❣️

#love #blogger #lifestyle blog #blockchain #ask blog #manifesting

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twatkcox · 1 year

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[TWATKRant The XVI]

These past few weeks, I’m simply not being myself. I don’t know why.

The fact that I’ve been missing out on some of the fun makes me feel even more frustrated than ever. I find it difficult to go out these days without worrying about the household situation... whatever. The ongoing pandemic is to blame for all of this. And probably God too.

xxxxxxxxxx

So anyway, I turned 32 last October. Well, that’s not surprising, I mean I kind of dreaded that thought. Actually, I hate having to respond to every single birthday greeting from my insincere friends, even a sticker reply. In fact, I’m no longer planning to celebrate my upcoming birthdays in the future, because that would remind me of how old I’ll ever get. I don’t need a birthday cake or a special feast, but I’d rather have a simple meal and make everyone forget about my birthday just so I won’t get depressed. I posted a throwback photo of my 7th birthday as a compromise, but that will be my last birthday post on social media, ever. And don’t get me started on this adulting thing, all right?

I get to go on a mall-hopping trip for the first time since February 2020 (the first one since the pandemic is the Manila International Book Fair 2022 at the SMX Convention Center Manila), and so far it went well. I mean, I’ll probably need to do some adjustments for now. The only challenge would be the transportation and the need to wear face mask when I go out, but I think I can manage. I’ll probably won’t share some of the pics on Facebook, which is supposed to be a good thing since I’m starting to grow tired of that social media site since 2016 that I seldom post anything there.

I’ll probably need to get back in shape too. Just looking at my unsightly overweight body makes me feel anxious about myself. I might need to buy some new clothes, as some of the ones I had right now might no longer fit on me. I need to do something about my glasses too, as I’ve worn them for 14 years. I really need a new pair since I had a hard time reading anything on the screen that I need to slouch over just to see clearly.

xxxxxxxxxx

The way I see it, my life is slowly crumbling down as if I’m on the verge of collapse like a condemned building. I don’t know how long I’ll be able to hold on to this kind of life, but I’m determined to get my life back on track, even if I have to resort to such drastic measures in order to live the life I want, the way I want it to be.

#life crisis #rant #thoughts

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itsmeglendaloraine · 2 years

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Hello, Depression? Will you please stop calling me, especially at night?

Not Truly Yours,

Glenda

I’ve been feeling down for a few weeks now. There is that haunting thought that is robbing me of my joy, energy, focus, strength, determination, and motivation. Every day is a struggle. I don’t know how I’m able to survive. I feel like I may pass out any time now. I can’t think yet my mind is always full of thoughts - thoughts of mistakes and embarrassments from the past or the piling plans for the future. I feel like I have so many things to say but sadly, no one can truly understand me.

I know I’ve been so blessed with the best support system but I am often left alone widely awake at night staring at the darkness with a heavy heart and a mind that is making circles. Round and round it goes. The ever-fluctuating emotions. Emotions of late that I was not able to process well for I suppressed them. It’s unfortunate of all things, I am invalidating my feelings.

Triggers. Triggers. Small things trigger me: the snide remarks of people; the unsolicited advice; my things not in their proper places; the curtains that my Mama newly hung in my room that I don’t like; my pen that is running out of ink.

I easily get annoyed, frustrated, and impatient. I tried so hard every day to fight the urge of breaking down. But I guess, I need to break so I can be whole again.

Another thing is social media. For the past two months, I was overly exposed to it and like a sponge, I easily absorbed the things I see there, making my brain want to explode. So lately, I made a resolution to walk away from negativity (protect mental health at all cost!). I made a list and put it in my journal so I’ll hold myself accountable.

I wanted to write a blog for so long yet I don’t have the energy and the drive to do so. And so, this writing is a labor of patience and endurance bearing the pain and the tiredness that I feel deep in my heart right now. Hello, depression. F**k you! I wish I could afford to go to therapy. But, it is costly (Sad truth).

This is my version of therapy – writing. I am sharing this with you hoping you pick a thing or two.

I feel depressed and anxious for weeks now from all the stuff that is happening in my world: me graduating, proceeding to my master's degree, turning 29, plans of settling down, the high price of commodities (Hi, inflation!), the bills to pay, savings running out because I just spent too much lately, expectations not met, my thesis coming up that I don’t know how to start. Haaayy… All these and all that.

How I wish I have a magic wand to erase all those so I can sleep soundly at night! But, it doesn’t work that way. Life happens and so it goes without giving even a dime of care. It just happens whether you’re happy or sad or mad. It is what it is.

Last weekend, someone gave a shitty comment about how I gained weight. That person further said that before, my belly fat doesn’t show, and now it does. Arrrghh! To respond in the coolest way, I faked a laugh and made a joke. Talk about white lies. For that person, it is just a conversation startup and it doesn’t mean a thing, but, for me, it sends a signal to my overthinking brain that I am fat, and need to lose weight.

Last month, two people said that I look skinnier. Okay, what it is really? Lost or gained weight? Whatever.

Those comments may be plain or simple and the person saying those may doesn’t mean things but it’s up to the person perceiving, too. Right? Don’t comment on people’s weight when even you don’t give a damn about yours. Oh, come on!

In a world full of know-it-alls and insensitive people, may we try hard to be kind to everyone; to be the light of the people around; to radiate positive and good vibes because we don’t know what they’re going through.

"To each his own", as the saying goes. We have different stories to tell. May we all be good characters in each other’s stories.

#mentalwellness #put yourself first #love yourself

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pennylanefics · 3 years

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Imprinted - Paul Lahote

a/n: i thought this was such a cute idea!! 🥺 and i love how it turned out :)

•••

“Hey (Y/N)! How are you?” Embry’s cheery voice asks you from the other side of the phone.

“I’m good, what’s up?”

“A bunch of my friends are having a bonfire on the beach tonight, since it’s supposed to be warmer than it has been, and I was wondering if you want to come,” he tells you.

“Sure, that sounds great. At the same beach in La Push, right?”

“Yep. I’ll see you there!”

Seeing you lived pretty far from the beach, you got up and got dressed right away, soon leaving once you were appropriately dressed and had a few essentials.

“Hey Em!” You greet your friend with a hug.

“Hey! So glad you could make it. We have a frisbee game going on over there, the fire going right here, and Sam is cooking some food that should be ready soon.”

“(Y/N), I haven’t seen you in so long!” Jacob yells happily, running up to you and picking you up, twirling you around in his arms. Embry walks back over to the frisbee game, leaving the two of you to catch up.

“Jake! Your hair is gone,” you observe. He chuckles and messes with the short length.

“Yeah. I was, uh, needing a change, so I figured it’d be a good idea.”

“You look great, but I really liked your long hair. Where have you been, though? I’ve been meaning to hang out with you.”

“I’ve been going through some stuff, personal things, and needed a break from everyone for a while.” Deciding not to push him anymore, you just nod.

“Well, now that you seem to be better, we should go to the movies sometime.”

“Absolutely,” he responds.

When Sam finishes the food, he calls everyone over, and Embry helps you get what you want before anyone else does. He knows how much Paul and Jared can eat and he wanted to make sure you had something before they got to everything.

“So, are you a part of their little cult now?” You ask Jacob as you two take a seat on a log in front of the fire.

“Yeah. It’s kinda hard to explain and I really can’t, just yet, but just know that they’re helping me through all these personal things and changes.”

“I’m glad you have them, then. I know Embry is super close with them and all but-” You are interrupted by Paul catching your eye. He was standing, talking to Embry and Jared while eating, but as soon as your eyes met, he ended up dropping his burger onto the ground.

The other two boys complained and picked the food up, trying to salvage it, but considering it was covered in sand, it was no use. Still, Paul had yet to move a muscle, fully focused on you.

You wanted to look away, but you couldn’t. You were so captivated by his gaze, and something inside of you felt like it was burning, you couldn’t pull yourself away from him.

Paul wasn’t someone you knew too well. You knew of him, since Jacob and Embry told you stories about him here and there, Jacob giving you a more hostile side of things. Either way, you hadn’t even met him in person before, yet he’s staring at you like you hung the moon in the sky.

Finally, he is brought out of the daze from his friends, and you turn back to Jacob, who is giving you a knowing look.

“Are you alright?” He wonders.

“Yeah, yeah. I just...it’s nothing,” you brush off. He puts the conversation on pause and changes the topic just as Kim and Emily join you.

As soon as Jacob finishes eating, he is sprinting towards the group of guys surrounding Paul. They all have excited yet anxious expressions on their faces, and it only increases your curiosity more.

You, Kim, and Emily continue chatting, catching up and filling each other in on things. As the time passes, your social battery is slowly draining, so you nicely interrupt them and head closer to the shore, taking a seat and just staring out at the ocean.

Your legs were brought up to your chin as you watched the waves crash a few inches from your feet. The sound is so peaceful and serene, bringing a small smile to your face. But that quickly disappears as the wind picks up, making you shiver a little.

“Hey, I noticed you shivering and thought you could use this,” Paul suddenly appears beside you, holding out a hoodie for you. A friendly grin sits on his face as you gladly take it, mumbling a soft, “thank you.”

“Do you mind?” He wonders, pointing to the spot next to you.

“No, not at all,” you agree. He quickly sits, getting in the same position you were just in.

“Needed some alone time?” He asks.

“Yeah. Would be nice if you weren’t here, though,” you joke, shoving him gently. Thankfully, he gets your sarcasm and laughs.

“The group can get a little much at times. Especially with all of us around.”

“Definitely.”

Silence washes over the two of you, and for some reason, you don’t mind it. You don’t feel an awkward obligation to jump into another conversation, his presence is just as calming as the waves in front of you.

A feeling you never felt with anyone before.

“The ocean is one of my favorite places to clear my head,” you say, staring out into the vast open space, the dense fog hiding what lays behind it.

“Mine too,” Paul responds. “It’s somewhere you can just stare into something so beautiful yet nothing at the same time.”

“And collect shells,” you pick up a perfect little shell that was sitting right in front of you. Paul chuckles and does the same, finding a similar one next to him.

“If you want, we can come to the beach one day, just you and me, if that’s alright with you, and look for shells,” Paul offers. You turn to him, his face lighting up as soon as he sees your eyes again, a glimmer of hope in his as he takes a chance.

“I’d love that,” you grin, resting your head on his shoulder and looking back out to the ocean. Just then, a pod of whales comes right up hundreds of feet from the shore, breaking for air.

“So beautiful,” you whisper, in awe of their size and beauty. Paul glances down at you, his heart filling with love.

“Mhm,” he hums in response. After breaking his gaze, he looks out as well, getting a bit more comfortable and stretching his legs out, his arms holding himself up behind him, one of them going behind you.

He hesitates at first, but when he senses that you aren’t going to pull away, he rests his head on yours, sighing deeply.

His imprint sat right beside him, yet you have no idea.

“Hey lovebirds! We’re going to get more firewood!” Jared yells to the two of you. “We’ll be right back!”

You feel your face flush at the term, but you shake it off and stand up.

“I guess we have some time to pass,” you laugh, trying to brush off the comment. Paul smiles and reaches for your hand, which you gladly take. He guides you over to the logs and grabs a blanket folded on one of them, and takes a seat on the log adjacent to it.

He throws the blanket around his shoulders and holds the side open for you, raising his eyebrows. You can’t help but giggle and fall right next to him, curling into his body.

“Holy shit, you’re so warm,” you moan, nuzzling your face into his neck.

“I get that a lot,” he smiles, his head going back to resting on yours.

When are you going to tell her? Paul hears Jared ask him in his mind.

I’m not until we’ve been seeing each other more often.

You have the perfect chance to tell her tonight, Paul. Sam inserts himself into the conversation.

“How long were you planning on staying tonight?” Paul asks after a few minutes.

“I was just gonna stay until everyone went home. I have nowhere to be or anything to do, since my parents are out of town for the weekend.”

“So you wouldn’t mind staying and hearing a few stories of the tribe?”

“I’d love to.”

You and Paul continue talking until the group finally returns, each with a couple logs in their arms. Soon enough, the fire is raging, providing even more warmth, though the hoodie, the blanket, and Paul were more than enough.

The conversations start off light, but when you and Paul are chatting with Kim and Jared, Sam interrupts everyone and stares at the man beside you. Your eyebrows furrowed in confusion as they have a silent conversation, nodding to each other.

“(Y/N), you know about some of our tribe’s histories, right?” Sam asks you.

“Yeah. Billy told me a fair share of legends when Jacob and I were growing up.”

“There’s a few more things to those stories, and it has to do with you.”

“Me?” You confirm, sitting up from Paul’s chest.

“Paul, do you wanna take over?” Sam points to him. The man behind you nods and stands, ditching the blanket on the log and pulling you up to stand with him.

“Let’s go on a little walk,” he whispers, wrapping an arm around your waist. Once you two are far enough away from the pack, he slows to a steady stride.

“Okay, this is going to be a lot to take in, so bear with me, please?” He starts. You nod, keeping your eyes on him when he comes to a stop. You grab his hand for support and he smiles down at it.

“Every one of us, in the pack that is, is a shapeshifter. We have this special gene that allows us to transform into wolves and protect the land we live on from bloodsuckers.”

“Mosquitoes?” You ask. This makes Paul laugh, loving that you are so clueless.

“Vampires. They kill people, we kill them to protect our tribe and the town. It’s been like this for thousands of years. And it just so happens that Sam, Embry, Jared, Jacob, and I all have this gene.”

“Wow,” you are stunned for a moment, but not in a bad way. Yeah, it is a lot to take in, and the fact that two of your best friends are a part of this was insane. But something in you was telling you that they aren’t going to hurt you, at least on purpose, and that they can be trusted.

“And there’s another thing that goes with it,” he starts, taking a deep breath.

“That is?”

“Imprinting.”

“Okay...and what is that?”

“It’s when we see a girl and everything in the world just stops. It’s only us two in that moment. You would do anything for her, be anything for her, protect her with your life, give your life to save hers, anything. It’s kinda like a soulmate. And when you see her, everything changes. You want to be around her all the time, because she fills this spot in your heart that you never want to leave open.”

“So, have you, you know, found yours?” You wonder. A fond grin forms on Paul’s face and he nods.

“I did. And I can’t wait to spend more time with her, get to know her more, and finally kiss her.” Your hand drops his upon hearing this, still having no clue he means you.

“I bet you two will be very happy with each other. i can tell you care for her a great deal and-” Paul swiftly cuts you off by grabbing your cheeks and kissing you. You immediately melt into his touch, your hands falling to rest on his forearms.

“I do care for you a great deal. You’re my imprint, (Y/N).”

“Wait, what? How? When?” He laughs and keeps your face cradled in his hands.

“Earlier when we were eating. You were talking to Jacob and our eyes met. I dropped my cheeseburger on the ground because I was completely entranced by you.”

“So that explains why I couldn’t look away from you? You were imprinting?”

“Yeah. Oh, and, just so you know, it doesn’t have to be a romantic thing. I can just be a close friend who you spend a lot of time with and be your protector.”

“Aw, I was kind of hoping it would be a romantic thing,” you smile. Paul blushes and glances down between your bodies, his hands finally dropping down to your hips.

“Well then, I’ll be glad to give you lots more kisses and cuddles because you’re going to be seeing a lot of me.”

“I’m not complaining,” you murmur against his neck after you curl into it, suddenly feeling chilly. Instinctively, Paul wraps his arms tightly around your body.

“Let’s head back to the bonfire and get you back under the cover,” he says, bringing you back over to the group.

“So does she know?” Embry smirks. Sam watches as you cuddle up to Paul, once again having an internal conversation with him.

“She does. And she’s very accepting and not at all freaked out,” he chuckles. You laugh along with everyone and close your eyes, enjoying the warmth radiating from your soon-to-be boyfriend.

“I can’t wait for our first real date,” he whispers in your ear. “Time alone without everyone bothering us.”

“Why don’t you stay the night with me then? Then we can go to the beach tomorrow morning?”

“Of course, my beautiful girl.”

#paul lahote #paul lahote imagines #paul lahote imagine #paul lahote x reader #twilight #twilight new moon #twilight eclipse #wolf pack #imagines #fanfiction #fanfic

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poisonedapples · 3 years

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Patton’s Home for Traumatized Kids

Chapter One: The New Kid

Story Summary: Roman has to have a completely new start. New school, new town, new home and a new family. As a kid in his first foster home, Roman isn’t prepared to trust these people and get hurt again, but he’s not the only kid in the house recovering from past issues. Regardless, their foster father Patton is ready to be the dad they’ve always needed, and traumatized kids learn to lean on each other for support.

Story Warnings: Past abuse of all types, trauma, and anxiety

Pairings: Familial LAMP

Chapter Summary: Roman moves into his new foster home. He is not having a good time.

Chapter Warnings: Anxiety, panic, implied past abuse, food, one vomiting mention, and talk of hidden cameras

Word Count: 6778

Notes: First chapter of a story I’ve wanted to make for my foster au! Thanks to Cornybird on Ao3 for beta-ing this one <3

“Logan, Virgil?” Patton called out from downstairs. “Can you come down here? I wanna talk about something with you!”

Virgil and Logan gave each other curious looks from their sitting places on the same bed. Virgil placed his phone on the nightstand beside him as Logan set his book down at the foot of the bed, both standing up to exit Virgil’s bedroom and head downstairs. At the dining room table was their foster father, Patton, smiling wide with a laptop and notepad in front of him.

“What’s up?” Virgil asked after he and Logan glanced at each other.

Patton giggled to himself, “Sit down for a second and I’ll tell you! Nothing bad, promise. I think it’s very exciting.”

They quickly sat at the table on the other side of Patton. “So,” Patton joked, “I bet you’re wondering why I’ve gathered you all here today!”

Logan and Virgil spoke in unison. “You’re getting another foster kid.”

Patton blinked. “…How’d you guess it?”

“You’ve been really happy recently, but also very quiet about why you were so happy. You only get like this when you’re bringing another foster kid into the mix. You did the same thing when Logan came along.” Virgil said.

Logan nodded. “Virgil told me about his suspicions due to your behavior, and I agreed with him. I think we both expected you’d make the announcement soon.”

“Oh.” Patton rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly. “I didn’t think it was that easy to tell. Well, you guessed right! The new kiddo is moving in on Sunday!”

Logan leaned closer. “What’s their name?”

“His name is Roman Goldsberry. He’s fifteen, and he’s only been in the system for about five months. Though, before this, he was in kinship care with his aunt, so living here is going to be very strange for him. So just be patient with him at first, okay?”

“Yeah yeah, we will be.” Virgil smirked. “But you said he was fifteen?”

“Yup! He’ll be a sophomore in high school this year.”

“Aw, that means Logan’s still the baby in the family.”

Logan blushed. “I’m a teenager. I am not the so-called ‘baby’ of the family.”

“Sounds like something the baby of the family would say.”

“Falsehood!”

“Okay, okay, that’s enough.” Patton tried not to laugh. He knew how much Logan hated being the youngest, but it was hard to act like his reaction wasn’t funny. “Remember, Roman will be here Sunday, so be on your best behavior when he gets here. No spooking him.”

“Got it, got it.” Virgil slouched in his chair and thought. “One more question though. How fucked up is he?”

“Virgil, language.” Patton warned.

“Sorry! It’s just a question. We know you have a soft spot for the most effed up kids you can find.”

“I would have to say I’m curious as well.” Logan agreed. “It’s become a pattern.”

Patton sighed. “He’s not messed up, he’s a kid who’s struggling and needs support. If he wants to tell you two about his past, then he will.”

Virgil groaned. “Fine, fine. Can we go back upstairs now?”

Patton smiled. “Yes, you can go.”

“Great! I’m stealing your book, Logan.”

“Wait, you can’t do that!”

Virgil darted back upstairs with a maniacal laugh as Logan chased him, the sound of bickering teenagers traveling back up the stairs. Patton shook his head in amusement, still listening to the ruckus in case it got out of hand and he needed to step in, but Patton knew his kids. They may tease, but they’re not mean.

Patton continued working on his laptop once the noise quieted down again.

***

“I hate this.”

“I know you do, Roman, but I’m certain you can persevere and find happiness in this new home!” Roman’s social worker, Mr. Picani, smiled hopefully as he continued to drive him to his foster home. Roman was scooted as close to the window as he could possibly get, his legs crossed and clamped together so tight his thighs were getting sore. He didn’t trust Picani, and he sure as hell didn’t trust this new house. No matter what anyone told him.

“I already had a home! Living with my aunt was so much better than whatever could happen here.” Roman’s hands shook just thinking about it. He didn’t know anything about this new person, and the idea of being in a house full of strangers was enabling the more gruesome side of his imagination. He trusted his aunt, at least, but now he was going to a family who could be anyone.

Roman didn’t like the idea of that.

Picani frowned. “You know why your aunt couldn’t house you anymore, Roman. I know it’s not easy, but I think you’ll like this new place! It’s more up north in Foley County, and the area is nice. He also has two other foster children if that helps.”

“How old are the other kids?”

“Fourteen and sixteen, I think. You’ll get to know them more during your time there.”

Roman hummed, looking out the window and digging his nails into his shirt sleeve. He really hoped this foster dad hadn’t touched them before. Even forgetting about himself, a fourteen year old kid having to deal with abuse? Even after getting away from bad parents? He didn’t wish that on anyone.

“And if you ever feel unsafe,” Picani added, “you can always contact me, ‘kay?”

I already feel unsafe. “Okay. How much longer until we’re there?”

“About twenty more minutes. Just enough time to finish the rest of the Tangled movie soundtrack!”

Roman didn’t respond. Normally, he’d love to have a Disney soundtrack he could burst into song with, but he wasn’t feeling it today. And probably wouldn’t be feeling it for a long time.

He just wanted to feel safe. He felt safe with his aunt, but she couldn’t afford to keep him long after the trial since she gave birth to the twins. His aunt was always one of his favorite relatives, one of the few adults he genuinely trusted, now he was going to the house of some random guy named Patton, who he’d only heard of yesterday, and expected to be okay near him. Well, he wasn’t okay. And he wasn’t going to be, ever.

Roman leaned his head on the window and closed his eyes. His hands still shook a little and his chest felt weird, but fighting it now was pointless. Roman just hoped that if this guardian did try something, he’d do it quickly. The sooner Roman told on him to save himself and the other kids, the better.

Though, Roman still felt his hands tingle at the thought. The idea of “getting it over with” made him want to scream and cry. He wrapped his legs tighter together.

After a long time of trying to fight against his own anxious thoughts, Picani pulled into a driveway and stopped the car and Roman opened his eyes to take a look at where they were. He didn’t know the neighborhood, but it seemed like Picani was telling the truth when he said the neighborhood was nice. The house seemed huge, big bushes and flower patches in the front yard and a nice outside paint job. It looked like a house that a functional nuclear family would have, where the dad is a doctor and the mom stays at home with the kids.

Well, looks can be deceiving. Roman thought. Don’t get your hopes up.

“Here we are!” Picani unbuckled his seatbelt with a wide smile. “Grab your suitcases in the back, I’ll knock on the door.”

Roman nodded and got out of the car as Picani popped the trunk. He grabbed two red suitcases and a backpack, closing the car and wheeling it all up to the front door. Picani was there talking to a guy who Roman assumed must be Patton Sanders, and by taking just one look at him…Roman had never seen a person look so much like a dad.

He was wearing khaki shorts and a light blue polo with tennis shoes and knee socks, thick-rimmed glasses sitting on his face to finish off the dorky look. Patton managed to pull it off, sure, but Roman felt a primal urge from binge-watching Queer Eye to fix that mess of an outfit.

Before Roman could truly take in the fact that Patton’s knee socks also had kittens on them, Patton smiled wide once he saw Roman in the corner of his eye. “Hello, Roman! It’s so nice to have you, come on in you two!”

Patton stepped aside to hold out the door as Picani and Roman both walked in. Roman scraped his arm on the door frame trying to keep a reasonable distance from Patton, but neither of the adults seemed to notice how Roman was acting. Patton kept smiling away, and Roman tried to see how real that smile truly was. “So, Mr. Picani, I know I have some things to go over with you, so how would you feel if the other kiddos showed you around the house, Roman?”

…Kiddos? “That sounds fine to me.”

“Perfect!” Patton walked over to the staircase and called upstairs. “Logan, Virgil! Can you come down here please?”

Patton’s request was quickly followed by the sound of doors opening and closing. Two kids walked down the stairs; a boy in a black and purple hoodie, and another boy with thick glasses almost the same as Patton’s. They both stared at Roman curiously, and Roman wanted to sink into the floor.

Patton placed an arm over Logan and Virgil’s shoulders and Roman winced at the sight. “So, kiddos, this is Roman! And Roman, this is Logan,” Patton pointed to the kid in glasses. “And Virgil!” He pointed to the kid with the hoodie. The boys didn’t react much besides an awkward half smile directed Roman’s way. “How about you both show him around while I talk to Mr. Picani?”

Virgil shrugged. “Come upstairs, dude.”

Patton let go of both of the boys and walked off into the kitchen with Picani. Roman watched them from the living room for a moment, but he could feel two pairs of eyes staring at him from behind, so he turned around and followed the kids upstairs, bringing his luggage with him.

At the top of the stairs, a long hallway connected six doors on the second floor. Four of the doors were plain, brown doors, but two of them had very distinct personalities shown on the outside. One was covered in stars and planets, the door covered in a starry piece of wallpaper with a metal planet popping out of the background. The other was covered in caution tape saying keep out, with emo band posters poking out from under the tape. Two very different personalities.

“Your room will be this one at the very end of the hallway.” Logan opened the door to the room, turning on the light as Roman peeked inside. “You can place your luggage in here in the meantime.”

Roman nodded and walked inside to throw his luggage onto the floor. The room was very bare, with brown sheets on a twin bed and not much other furniture besides a desk and a dresser. There was a lamp on the desk and a floor lamp next to a door, and one of the opened closet doors showed that the top was covered in random boxes. Some newer-looking stuffed animals were also sitting on the bed; a soft bear and one of those squishy stuffed chickens Roman always saw in stores. It looked like an attempt at a welcoming gift, but new stuffed animals always put Roman on edge. He looked around the room, and the idea of sleeping here made Roman’s heart start to pound. He needed to check this place before he went to sleep that night.

Virgil smirked, taking Roman away from his anxious thoughts. “Damn, you’ve got suitcases? Living the fancy life I see.”

“…What?” Roman reeled.

Logan adjusted his glasses and crossed his arms. “Most foster children move their things using garbage bags. It’s rare we use actual suitcases.”

Roman looked down at his luggage. Suddenly, he felt guilty. “Oh, well…my aunt gave them to me before I moved out, so…”

Virgil shrugged. “What do you wanna see up here first?”

“We could show him our rooms. Or possibly the attic?”

“The attic is cooler.”

“What’s in the attic?” Roman asked.

“It essentially acts as a playroom.” Logan explained. “Board games and a…random assortment of items are all piled up there. It’s quite entertaining to search through, actually.”

“And it’s in the best place ever, come here.” Virgil motioned for Roman and Logan to follow him. He stopped at one of the doors, opening it and letting Roman peek over his shoulder to look inside. It looked like a normal walk-in closet, first aid and toilet paper on one side with batteries and rows of shampoo on the other. Virgil walked in with a smirk, “Now, check this shit out.”

Virgil jumped and pulled on a string dangling from the roof, unraveling a steep staircase through the closet leading up to a hole in the roof. Virgil started to climb the stairs as Logan followed suit, so Roman climbed right after them.

When Roman made it to the top, his eyes widened with wonder. Granted, it wasn’t anything too spectacular, surely not like something in Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory, but the fact that this hidden space existed made Roman feel excited. At his old house, he barely even had his own room to himself, so a place like this was paradise.

The walls were painted white with a giant window above a sitting area on the other side of the room. Shelves of items scattered the walls, and the rug on the floor was so clean Roman wondered how they even got a vacuum up here. It wasn’t anything like his old attic, stuffed with random items from over the years and covered in spiderwebs. Roman felt like he could spend most of his day here.

“We have a lot of various toys up here.” Logan said. He gestured to the boxes on one of the shelves. “Pokémon cards, a chess set, Magic the Gathering, lots of Lego sets, craft supplies, most of our toys make their way up here.”

Roman’s head perked up. “…Craft supplies?”

Logan nodded. “I believe we have paints and drawing utensils.”

Roman looked at the bottom of the shelf Logan gestured toward. There was a box of small painting canvases with paints and brushes, and though they definitely looked cheap, Roman saw them and grew excited as he took out a canvas and the paints in wonder.

“Kiddos!” A voice yelled from the staircase. Logan and Roman walked over to the stairs to look down, but Virgil stayed in his place on a beanbag near the window. Patton and Picani stood at the bottom, and Patton smiled. “Now, what are you all doing up there?”

“We’re showing him around the house.” Logan said matter-of-factly.

“You are, huh?” Patton crossed his arms. “Does he know where the bathroom is?”

Logan blinked. Virgil called out from behind both of them. “He knows where the important things are!”

Patton tried not to smile, but he lost that battle quickly. “Well, Mr. Picani is leaving right now, Roman.”

“How ‘bout you come down here and I talk to you in private for a sec?” Picani asked.

“Uh, alright!” Roman climbed down the stairs and followed Picani out of the closet, while Patton climbed up the stairs into the attic. They both stepped away to the other side of the hallway, and suddenly Picani’s face became very serious.

“Do you feel safe in this house, Roman?” He asked.

Roman clenched his fist and bit his cheek. No, he didn’t, actually. He didn’t know what Patton would do once the coast was clear from guests, and the idea of what could happen was freezing him from the inside out. The only place Roman would feel truly safe was if he was back in the hospital.

But Roman knew that wasn’t possible, and he couldn’t keep bothering Picani all the time for fears that couldn't be helped. He had to be on his own. Alone.

“I think I do. They…seem like good people.” Roman lied. He’d have to find another way to survive.

Picani smiled, not noticing Roman’s unease. He always was a great actor. “Amazing! Let me know if anything comes up, bucko, and I’ll talk to ya again soon! But until then…so long, farewell, auf wiedersehen goodnight!”

Picani walked downstairs and waved behind him, laughing at his own reference as he walked out the door. Roman watched him from the staircase until he could see the car leaving the driveway through the window, and Roman felt truly hopeless. This was a nightmare.

He stood frozen on the staircase for a while, staring through the window with a hope of Picani turning back and saving him. But no car came into the driveway, and Roman didn’t know what to do with himself anymore. What do you even do when living in a house full of strangers?

“Heya, kiddo!” Roman jumped at the voice coming from behind him, jerking his head back and pushing his back up against the wall. It was Patton, smiling wide with a concerned look in his eyes at Roman’s reaction. “I’m sorry, Roman, I didn’t mean to scare you! I just wanted to ask if you wanted me to give you the rest of the tour. I’ll show you everything you need this time!”

Patton laughed at himself, but Roman felt the need to vomit. Patton was close, way too close, and he didn’t know what to do about it. He didn’t want to be roaming around the house with him, vulnerable and nowhere to hide. He needed to be somewhere safe.

“Uh, no, I’m fine! I’ll figure it out myself!” Patton raised an eyebrow at him, but Roman didn’t care. “Where’s the bathroom?”

Patton’s voice became softer. He pointed to the left of him, down the opposite direction of Roman’s room. “It’s over there. Are you sure you’re alright? You look a little pale.”

“I’m fine!” Roman darted past Patton quickly and out of reach, rushing into the bathroom and locking it behind him. He pressed his back against the door and sat down, pressing his feet against the sink, ready to fight against the door if someone tried to open it. He wrapped his arms around himself tightly, trying to even out his scattered breathing. He knew Patton was outside of the door, he could feel it. He just needed to be somewhere safe.

Roman didn’t move from his spot on the floor, eventually curling into himself and resting his head on his knees. He was so tired, the whole day his heart had been pounding with anxiety and he was sick of it. What did it take to feel safe? Was it even possible for Roman to feel safe anymore?

He didn’t want an answer to that. He was just so tired.

Roman closed his eyes and leaned his body against the bathroom wall, ignoring all his aches from the strange position and trying to give himself some comfort. His body was exhausted but his mind kept racing, thinking of all the things that could go wrong while living here. He tried to fight the anxious thoughts, but Roman figured it wasn’t that big of a deal. If he threw up in the toilet maybe they’d leave him alone for the day.

But Roman never got to that point. He rested on the floor and let his body shake, taking some deep breaths at times to feel less like he was suffocating. Eventually, a knock came to the bathroom door, and it took everything in Roman not to yelp.

“Are you still in there, Roman?” Roman could tell the voice was Logan, and that helped him relax a little more. He took in a big breath and tried to act normal.

“Yes, sorry. Do you need it?” He asked.

“I’m alright. I simply wanted to ask if you wanted to come downstairs and use the paints you seemed so interested in.”

Roman’s ears perked up at that. He forgot all about the paints, and it would be something that could ease his mind a little. But Roman wasn’t that dumb. He knew this was a plan to get him out of the bathroom. Though…he might not mind that much if he wasn’t alone.

“…Would you sit with me?” Roman asked. He doubted Patton would try anything so long as they weren’t alone together, and if he pleased them enough, maybe they’d leave him alone.

Logan was slow to respond. “I suppose I can if you wish for me to.”

Roman rolled his eyes at that sentence. What a nerd, he thought, standing up and slowly unlocking the door to the bathroom before opening it. He looked through the crack to check if Patton was standing behind Logan, but no one else was there. Logan stood there patiently with his hands clasped behind his back, and Roman fully exited the bathroom.

“I set the box on the dining room table. However, Patton is also there making a pizza for dinner.”

Roman froze. The same room as Patton? “… I’ll go, but you have to stay near me.”

Logan nodded. He led the way down the stairs while Roman followed, entering the dining room through the connected area in the living room. On the table was the box of painting supplies, and Roman ran toward them to start taking them out, trying to ignore the fact that he could see Patton in the corner of his eye. He grabbed a canvas and the cheap paints, as well as a plastic pallet and all the brushes. All that he needed was a cup of water, but…the sink was right next to where Patton was.

Roman drummed his fingers on the table. “…Logan, can you get me a cup of water?”

“Alright.” Logan stood up and grabbed a cup from the cupboard, filling it with water and handing it to Roman. Roman murmured a thank you, and Logan sat back down at his seat. He was grateful that Logan didn’t ask why Roman couldn’t get it himself.

“So, Roman,” Roman stiffened at the sound of Patton’s voice. “Are you an artsy kid?”

Roman gripped hard onto his paints, squirting out a lot more orange than he meant to. “I guess, yeah. I like art.”

“Do you like to paint, or are you more of a sketchy kinda guy?”

“Uh…all of it. Painting, drawing, coloring, I used to make a lot of stuffed animals too.”

“Awww, that sounds adorable!” The oven beeped and Patton put on his oven gloves and pulled out the pizza. “It’s probably best I don’t know how to make stuffed animals though. If I did, this house would be full of little stuffed puppies!”

Roman didn’t respond. He focused completely on mixing red and orange for a perfect sunset color, attempting to get a good gradient with the lack of shade variety. Once he filled in his sunset and blended it with a dark night sky, he mixed his white with a dot of gray and made darker clouds, dotting them above his rough-looking hill. He wanted to add more texture to the bottom of the canvas, maybe some trees, but he didn’t know how to make good ones without a fan brush. Maybe he could add some grass…

“Alright, the pizza is cooled down and ready!” Roman noticed Patton put a plate next to his painting, so he pushed all his supplies out of the way so he could eat. Patton set down more plates around the table as Virgil walked in. “It was a real pizza work if I do say so myself!”

Logan rolled his eyes and Virgil held back a snort, but Roman didn’t quite know how to react. He might have found the dad joke more amusing if he wasn’t so on edge.

Roman took a bite of the pizza. It wasn’t anything spectacular, just a store-bought one that you heat up in the oven and serve, but Roman didn’t realize he was so hungry until now. He had skipped lunch because his nerves about coming here were making his stomach churn, but finally having food near him was bringing back that hunger. Roman’s foot was still tapping violently under the table, but it was progress.

Everyone ate their pizza in silence. It was incredibly awkward on Roman’s end, no stories to tell as this table full of strangers kept making glances at him. Patton was the worst with it. He seemed to want to say something to Roman, continuously making eye contact with him until Roman looked away, but still not saying a word. He couldn’t take it. He hated it, but he hated this silence even more. Roman swallowed the pizza bite he was chewing and opened his mouth.

“So,” Roman started, “what do I…call you anyway?”

“Me?” Patton asked, his eyes lighting up. Why would his eyes light up at that?

“Yeah. Do I say Mr. Sanders, or…?”

“Oh, Patton works just fine! I hear Mr. Sanders way too often at work to wanna hear it at home too!”

“Oh, where- where do you work?” At least it wasn’t so quiet anymore.

“I’m a nurse practitioner for a clinic. It’s a lot of fun, just a lot of work. At least my hours aren’t as crazy as most nurses.”

“Oh that’s…cool.” Roman didn’t know how to continue off of that.

“It is! Is there anything else you wanna ask me, though? Maybe about the house, routines, anything?”

“Well…what are the rules here?” That seemed like a very safe question to have. It could save Roman a lot of trouble, and it could give him more of a read on the kind of parent Patton was.

“Oh, it’s not that much. You’re old enough to clean up after yourself, so make it a habit to pick up your own things and not put that stuff on other people. Be kind to everyone else, and the only rule I’m very strict about is no yelling. You can be loud sometimes, but no angry yelling at anybody here. The last one is to respect others’ privacy. Always knock on someone’s bedroom door before entering. But that’s really it, I think!”

How often do you break that last rule? “That seems reasonable, I suppose.”

Patton smiled. “I think you’ll do just fine here, kiddo. I know it’s hard to start over, but you won’t be alone during it!”

“…Thank you.”

“And I’m sure Virgil and Logan could help out a little bit, since they’ve been in the same situation! Right, you two?”

Virgil was halfway through trying to stick a whole piece of crust in his mouth. “…Uh huh.”

“…Virgil, chew your food.”

“Lo’an ‘old me I cou’ do it!”

“Do not drag me into this.”

Virgil hid his mouth behind his hand as he chewed for a long period of time. “You’re just avoiding your responsibility.”

Logan rolled his eyes. “Well, I’m finished, so try not to choke now.”

“Now I’m gonna choke just to spite you.”

“Please do not start a choking contest, Virge.”

Virgil groaned before swallowing the last of his crust. He followed Logan to the dishwasher and put his plate in, closing it and scurrying away back upstairs. Logan hesitated leaving the dining room, looking between Patton and Roman. Roman couldn’t tell if Patton noticed Logan’s hesitation or if it was just perfect timing, because he also got up and put his plate in the dishwasher.

“When you finish, Roman, just put your dishes away.”

“I can do that.”

Patton smiled and walked off into the living room, sitting on the couch to watch some TV show seemingly about cute puppies and kittens. Logan glanced at Roman again.

“Do you still want me to stay?” Logan asked.

Roman ate the last of his pizza and pushed his plate to the side, grabbing his painting again to put in front of him. It was the most effective thing at calming him down. “…No, I should be okay.”

Logan nodded and walked upstairs. Roman tried to fully immerse himself in his painting, focusing on every last detail and how he could make it better without over-detailing it. Roman put more green on his brush and started to dot at his hill on the bottom, trying to add little blades of textured grass. It was a long process, just enough to take the majority of his focus and calm his hands.

…Roman felt really weird here. It didn’t feel like he lived in this house, now. It felt like he was spending the day with some friends, and his aunt would come pick him up before the sun went down. But no, these new kids were his foster brothers and the adult he was terrified of was expected to act as his new dad. There was no one coming to save him, he was expected to sleep here and eat here and live here. This was supposed to be his safe space.

Roman rubbed at his eyes and shook his head. Don’t focus on that now, he thought. Focus on the painting.

So he did focus. He focused on monotonous texture additions and watching the paint dry on his canvas as he went along, letting the repetitive action calm his mind just a little bit. His calming method seemed to be working too well, actually, as the more details he added and stared at the paint, Roman realized that his constant panic today had completely exhausted him. It wasn’t even seven o’clock yet and Roman could feel his eyelids get heavier. He rubbed at his eyes again and tried to focus.

Roman yawned once. He yawned twice and rubbed his eyes as he kept adding minor details to his painting. Then, after a while, Roman scooted his painting to the side and laid his head down on the table.

***

“…Roman, wake up, please.”

Roman buried his head deeper in his arms. “Come on Roman, it’s late.”

Roman groggily lifted his head up. Patton was sitting in the chair across from him, the lights were all off except for the one light above the dining table. Roman looked around him, and noticed that it was dark outside now. Shit.

“You fell asleep, but that’s okay. It’s bedtime now, and the other two are already in bed, so how about you go get ready and sleep in your bed? I bet it’s comfier than the table.”

Roman dug his palm into his eye. “…What time is it…?”

“About 10:20. You all have bedtime at ten.”

“…But I’m fifteen?” Roman gave Patton a confused and sleepy look. He hasn’t had a bedtime since he was twelve, especially one that was so early. His mom only told him to be in bed by midnight.

Patton smiled. “I’ll let you in on a little secret. Logan is the only one who needs a bedtime, but I don’t want him to feel left out because he’s the only one asleep. So, how about you get ready for bed?”

Roman nodded and got out of his chair. The more he walked, the more he woke up, and he could tell by the time he went back upstairs that he wasn’t going to go back to sleep for a while since he could feel his heartbeat in his chest again. Patton followed him upstairs, turning off the dining room light as they went. Roman got his bathroom bag out from his smaller suitcase and a cotton shirt with sweatpants for pajamas, bringing it all with him to the bathroom. He closed the door as he brushed his teeth for the night, placing his bag in the bottom drawer after he did. He changed into his pajamas carefully, taking the towel on one of the racks to hide his lower half under as he switched pants, taking his other clothes and throwing them into a laundry basket.

When Roman stepped out of the bathroom, Patton was leaning against a wall waiting for him. He smiled at Roman, but Roman still ran past him to get as far away as he could get. Patton didn’t seem to notice, or maybe he just didn’t care. Roman shifted on his feet awkwardly before closing his door.

“Um…goodnight.” He finally said. Patton seemed satisfied with this.

“Goodnight, Roman.”

Roman finally closed the door to his bedroom, waiting until he heard the door on the other end of the hallway open and close. Almost immediately after, as if another force was controlling him, Roman started to tear the place apart.

He checked the charging ports in the walls, the lamp, under the bed’s covers and behind every piece of furniture. He stood on top of his suitcase to check the vents and took out all the drawers in the dresser. He punched the stuffed animals to see if he could feel wires, but he still couldn’t find it. He couldn’t find it.

Roman felt himself start to pant. He refused to go to bed until he found it. No matter how well hidden it was, Roman knew there was a camera in here. He couldn’t stop until he found it.

Roman grabbed the boxes at the top of the closet and tossed everything out of them, checking every spare blanket and binder before throwing them across the room when he found nothing. He took the hangers out of the closet and threw them on the floor, shining his phone light on the wall of the closet to find a hole. Nothing. Nothing, nothing, nothing.

Tears sprung into Roman’s eyes as he choked on his own breath. “Where the hell is it!?” He whispered, slamming the closet door closed and moving to check the bed. He tore the bedsheets off and checked the mattress, lifting it up as well to check the bed frame for anything that could be used to record. Nothing.

“Come on, please-” Roman took out the drawer from the bedside table. Nothing. He unscrewed the lightbulb from the lamp, almost shattering it from his tight grip. Nothing. He threw the lamp onto the bed and kicked the nightstand over. Nothing.

Roman choked out a sob as his whole body started to shake. This wasn’t fair, he spent all that time trying to get away from his dad only to end up in a place that hid cameras better than him. Roman gripped the covers he’d thrown and punched the floor next to them, the ache being an almost pleasant distraction from his own head. But his mind continued to race and his crying didn’t let up. The only thing Roman could manage to get out of his mouth was “No, no!”

Then, between Roman’s sobbing, he heard a knock at the door.

Roman froze in place. A feeling of dread spread through his chest and made his fingers go numb. For a second, Roman forgot to breathe as he remembered he forgot to lock the door.

Roman’s body was stiff, but his mind was going a mile a minute in a desperate attempt to save himself. He could hide in the closet, but since he tore everything out of there, if someone opened the door they’d immediately find him. He could hide under the bed, but without the covers to reach the floor it was easy to see he was under there. Roman choked on his own breath when he realized there was nowhere to hide-

“Roman?” The knock came back to the door, gentler than the first time. It wasn’t Patton’s voice like Roman feared, it was Virgil. Raspy and tired-sounding, but without a doubt Virgil.

“Y-yeah?” Roman squeaked out.

“Uh, can I…can I come in?”

Roman’s death grip on the covers loosened up slightly. “Yes…”

Virgil slowly turned the doorknob and opened it, slipping in through the smallest crack and closing the door slowly so it wouldn’t click. Once he was inside, Virgil’s eyes widened as he took in the sight of the destroyed room. “…Holy shit dude.”

Roman tried to dodge the situation, “What do you want?”

“I was gonna come in here and make a joke, like, ‘quiet down it sounds like a tornado is going through here’, but now I think I predicted the fucking future.” Roman put his head down as Virgil looked around in shock. “What the fuck happened?”

Roman wiped away his tears with the palm of his hands, digging into his eyes so hard he saw stars for a moment. “…There’s a camera in here.”

Virgil backed up more towards the door. “Wait, there is?” He darted his eyes around the room looking for what Roman was talking about. Roman let out a shaky breath.

“I haven’t found it yet, but I know it’s in here somewhere!” More tears went down Roman’s face as he hugged himself. Virgil seemed to realize what Roman was babbling on about. “I know Patton put a camera in here for me and I’m freaking out because I can’t find it!”

Virgil looked around at the mess again. He sighed. “I’m not good at this shit…you’re certain it’s in here?”

“Yes!”

“Hey, hey, don’t yell.” Virgil warned. “Pat and Logan are still asleep and I don’t think you’d like all that extra attention right now.”

He was right. If Logan and Patton came in here, Roman didn’t know what he’d do about it. It was the last thing he wanted, so Roman obeyed. “I just…I don’t know what to do…I can’t sleep until I find it.”

Virgil seemed to be thinking. He tugged on the neck of his pajama shirt before speaking. “How about we both make a deal?”

Roman lifted his head up to look at Virgil. “…Deal?”

“We’ll trade rooms for the night. There wouldn’t be a camera in my room if he’s trying to watch you, right?”

Roman paused. “…What if he’s watching you too?”

“I’ve lived here for two years. You think I wouldn’t have noticed a camera in my room by now?”

Roman thought about it. He did have a point, it was hard to go that long without finding the camera. Or at least, have your guardian have it slip that they’ve been watching you. And anything was better than staying in this place.

“…We can trade. Thanks.”

Virgil shrugged. “You know where my room is. Just slip in and don’t wreck all my shit.”

Roman laughed a little bit at that one. Virgil grabbed the sheets and covers off the floor and began to remake the bed as Roman grabbed his backpack and started to slowly open the door. But before he left, Roman had to say one more thing for his own piece of mind. “…Don’t touch my suitcases. I-I’ll know if you do.”

Virgil raised an eyebrow at him. “…I won’t.”

Roman opened the door and softly closed it behind him, slipping into the room next door covered in caution tape. He turned on the light and set his backpack down on the floor, looking around him at all the things that showed Virgil’s personality. Emo band posters covered the walls that were painted a dark purple, with dark wood furniture and Hot Topic decorations all over the place. Just looking at this room told him how angsty this kid was.

Roman shook it off and unzipped his backpack. He could deal with angsty decorations for the night, so long as this place could be safe from creeps. He took out his secret weapon from his backpack, something he secretly bought behind his aunt’s back with his babysitting money, the one item that made him feel secure in a home. He pulled out the security bar, locked Virgil’s door, and placed it under the door handle. Even if someone undid the lock, they wouldn’t be able to sneak inside while he was sleeping.

Roman’s heart calmed down a little for the first time in weeks. Even if it wasn’t much, he felt safe, maybe even safe enough to get some rest for once. Roman crawled into Virgil’s bed, covering himself in his very tasteful Jack Skellington covers, and tried to rest.

Roman’s hands still shook, and his head felt funny, but he eventually drifted off into a light sleep full of anxiety and nightmares.

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flareish · 3 years

Text

Anxiety

kuroo x reader

summary: you hide your anxiety from basically everyone including your boyfriend, until he finds out for himself

genre: hurt/comfort

warnings: Emetophobia Warning! description of nausea/vomit, anxiety, bit of angst but ends in fluff

word count: 2.0k

a/n: I tried to make this as close to my anxiety since I hadn’t known anyone with my kind of anxiety(symptom wise) until I was seventeen, which was a good ways into when I realized I had anxiety. So here is some nausea anxiety representation!

masterlist

You tap your fingers in a mindless rhythm. Alternating the fingers and repeating them back and forth, trying to make it a game, a challenge. You did this over and over again to distract yourself from that all too familiar sinking feeling. That feeling like your stomach has managed to twist and knot itself a million times. Each bump of the bus made acid crawl up your throat. You crunched a mint in your mouth hoping the peppermint would soothe some of the nausea. It didn’t, but the thought was there. You just will yourself not to throw up on the bus, anything but that. The thought in itself makes you even more nervous, and in turn even sicker.

You don’t even know why you are anxious. Today is Kuroo’s big game, but it isn’t yours. You’ve been to a hundred of his games before but never before did you feel like this. Normally you get cute little butterflies, not an angry swarm of bees. The worst part is, there is Kuroo sat next to you happy as can be, completely oblivious. He keeps trying to drag you into conversations but you fear if you open your mouth for too long, all that will come up is vomit. So you keep your mouth firmly closed only smiling tightly or shaking your head at his prompts.

It's not exactly his fault though. He doesn’t actually know you have anxiety. It’s not something you really like to talk about. You are all for promoting the acceptance of mental health but you just find every time you tell someone the dynamic changes. Either they flat out don’t believe you since you “don’t seem like the type with anxiety”. Well duh, I don’t have social anxiety, I have situational anxiety. Like here in this situation. That or they suddenly treat me like I am incapable of handling myself. That whenever a slightly stressful event comes up, I am going to melt into a puddle of pure anxiety. Sorry but I’ve made it this far, I may have to throw up a few times on the way but I am still making it.

So you just haven’t told Kuroo. You're just nervous that it will change the dynamic. You also don’t want to steal his spotlight. Today is supposed to be all about him. It's his big game. To suddenly speak up and tell him that his game is giving you anxiety would be selfish. So like you always have, you put a brave face on and face it head-on.

“Hey, are you okay?” Kuroo asks you, now facing you, “You look a little pale.”

“Hmm?,” You also turn to look at him, “Oh I am just a bit tired that’s all. I will be fine in an hour or so.” You hope at least. He nods relieved it's not something worse.

You finally pull into the stadium and everyone is pushing their way off the bus. Luckily Kuroo is right by you to make sure you don't get accidentally pushed down the bus stairs and trampled. The team makes it’s to the bulletin board where they are given their matchups. Nekoma is paired with a pretty hard team. Suddenly, out of nowhere, you dry heave. You knew at the point you were going to throw up and within the next few minutes.

“Hey I think I left something in the bus I’ll be right back.” You say to Kuroo before dashing off. He goes to reply but you are already gone.

You make it around the back of the building before you throw up. At this point you’re kinda out of it, your mind is occupied on emptying your already empty stomach. Then you feel someone pull your hair back and gently rub your back. You don’t even have to look up to know it’s Kuroo. When you finish he hands you his water bottle. You waterfall it and rinse your mouth out of that acidic taste.

“What’s going on are you okay?” Kuroo asks full of concern. You hesitate for a moment, thinking of telling the truth. Then you remember this is supposed to be his day.

“Sorry I must have caught a stomach bug.” He doesn’t completely buy it so you quickly add to it.

“I didn't feel great on the bus but I just thought it was because I was tired.” You feel bad lying, “I also don’t want to distract you before your game.” At that Kuroo quickly pulls you into a hug, “Your not a distraction, I just want to make sure you’re okay.” Your cheek is pressed against his chest and your hands grip the front of his shirt.

“We should probably head back.” You mumble.

“Yeah.” He leans down to kiss you but you duck away. He looks incredibly offended and hurt at this.

“Dude I just threw up I don’t know if you want to do that.”

“…Point.”

The two of you head back inside to the team, you feeling much better after throwing up. Before you know it, the competition has begun and Nekoma has won. You run down and celebrate with the team and it’s a happy day.

On the bus ride home Kuroo has a strange energy about him. Not like he’s mad more just like he’s just realized something. You nudge him and smile hoping to break him out of his little funk. He immediately smiles back and goes back to celebrating with the team. His reaction was almost like putting a mask on. You watch him for a moment before slipping into a conversation of your own.

When you make it back to school you go your separate ways. Him going to shower, and you to get home before it gets too late. A big hug before pushing away. You still refusing to kiss him after throwing up earlier in the day.

You are laying on your bed, exhausted. Anxiety really takes a toll on your energy. Your thoughts are broken when your phone chimes with a text. Leaning over to grab your phone off your bedside table you see it is from Kuroo.

“Can you come over? I want to talk.”

No cute pet names. No slowly easing into it. Actually using proper grammar. Nothing in that message was a good sign. Just “I want to talk” was enough to make the acid begin to crawl again. You knew it had to be about today. Especially after you saw him zoning out on the bus. It had to be your anxiety episode. You knew he wouldn’t be happy you lied but going to this extent. Like he just found out you have anxiety and this is what he hits you with? The world’s most nerve-wracking text message. The only worse place than this would be “we need to talk”. That’s when you have really screwed up. So maybe you’ve only minorly screwed up since he said want not need. Does that mean you have the choice to say no? That was kind of tempting but you knew you would be tossing and turning all night thinking about what might be wrong.

“Okay.” You reply to the text. Short and sweet. Putting on some shoes and grabbing a hoodie, you quietly slip out of your house. Kuroo’s house wasn’t too far but it was far enough. Enough to continue to stir in your intrusive and unstoppable thoughts. You eventually make it to his house and head in going straight for his room. Before you reach the door you hesitate and gather yourself. Preparing for whatever was about to come.

When you go in you find Kuroo sat on the floor of his bedroom, back pressed against the bed. He jerkily looks up and you and gives you a tight smile. None of this is giving good signs. Something is very heavy on his mind. You sit down across from him, your back against the wall your feet almost touching.

“So what was it you wanting to talk about.” You break the silence. He doesn’t respond for a moment. Just as you are about to try again he speaks up.

“Do you still love me?” Your face drops into confusion.

“Why wouldn’t I love you anymore?” You ask, suddenly realizing this wasn’t the conversation you were prepping yourself for.

“You’ve been distant lately. You don’t tell me things like when you don’t feel good. I thought about it when I got home and I was wondering if you weren’t actually sick but just making the excuse because you got caught.” He’s very serious at the moment and his words hold a cold edge.

“What do you mean get caught?” You match his tone. You weren’t planning on fighting but something about how he said it just set something off in you.

“You didn’t want to be there. Ever since this morning you were quiet and reserved. Even after the game, you wouldn’t even kiss me-”

“Yeah, cause I threw up! And how could I be faking it when I literally threw up.” You snap.

“You’ve been like this before though! Like last year’s big tournament you would barely talk to me.”

“That’s not true!” Although it kind of was just not the reason he thought.

“Oh yeah? What about at training camp you wouldn’t talk to me then either, you didn’t even eat with us you just sat on your own.” He threw back.

“Yeah, cause I have anxiety!” The words left your mouth before you knew it. Kuroo looked taken back.

“What?” His brow furrows, “Since when?” He’s not sure what to believe. You’re not surprised since you have worked very hard to hide it from everyone, accidentally sabotaging your own relationship without even knowing it.

“Since forever. I just never told anyone.” You quietly say, ducking your head down.

“Why didn’t you say anything?” You didn’t even need to look up to see the hurt on his face, it was apparent in his voice. You start playing with your finger, tapping them in rhythms.

“I wanted to,” You mumble, “But whenever I do stuff changes and I didn’t want anything to change.” He shifts forward and you think he’s going to leave. Instead, he grabs your hands, stopping the pattern you had going. You look up.

“Did you think I would judge you?” He was staring straight into you, willing the truth to come out.

“Whenever I tell people they either don’t believe me and brush it off or treat me like I’m incapable of handling any amount of stress. I’ve never seen anyone react any differently so I was scared you would fall into one of those reactions and I didn’t know how I could handle that. I didn’t want my anxiety to be the thing to tear us apart. But I guess it still was.” By the end of your speech, your gaze has returned back to the floor, unable to hold eye contact for that long with him staring at you so strongly. You hear him sigh then you are pulled forward and into his arms.

“I want to be your pillar of support. I want to be that third reaction that is one of acceptance, one that doesn’t drive you crazy.” He strokes your hair soothingly, his words making you tear up, “When you are ready I want you to tell me everything. From when you first noticed it, to where it is now, to how you deal with it, everything.” By now you are fully crying, absolutely collapsed into his chest. “I love you so much.” It gets muffled in his shirt but he hears it.

“I know, and I love you.”

It would take some time for Kuroo to get used to this change but slowly but surely he will be different from the rest and he will support you no matter what. Although he also respects your strength and knows you can handle your anxiety on your own, he is always there when you need it. He becomes the third unexpected and unheard-of reaction; acceptance.

#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu oneshot #haikyuu #haikyuu fluff #haikyuu x reader #nekoma #kuroo #kuroo fluff #kuroo tetsuro imagine #kuroo tetsuro oneshot #kuroo scenarios #kuroo hurt/comfort #kuroo x reader #hq kuroo

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lunar-wandering · 3 years

Text

“hey google? whats social interaction?”

two fics in one day hell yeah. this time it’s for an AU i don’t think i’ve talked about here, called the Shy!Wukong AU, in which 500 years of isolation had the consequence of absolutely destroying Wukong’s social skills and confidence.

Word Count: 3.4k

Read on Ao3

When MK arrived on Flower Fruit Mountain that afternoon, it was quiet. He walked around for a few minutes, enjoying the silence, a big difference from the constant sound of the city, before sighing.

He walked over and leaned against a tree, barely hearing the soft intake of breath from behind it.

"I know you're there, Monkey King." He sighed again, taking the staff out and twirling it. "I could see your tail y'know."

Wukong slowly emerged from behind him, walking around the tree to stand just outside of MK's reach. MK purposefully didn't look at him, but out of the corner of his eye he could see that his mentor was avoiding eye contact.

"Ah, uh, yeah uh, hey bud." Wukong said, "I uh, didn't know you were here-"

"You were meant to come hang out with me and my friends today." MK said, and Wukong slumped. "I understand having some days were you're just not up for interacting, but this is the third time. ...Why won't you interact with my friends?"

He asked this as gently as he could, but still Wukong shrunk back a little.

"They....they can sense weakness..." Wukong muttered, and now MK did look at him, with confusion.

"Wh- no they don't- well, Mei might, but still." He pushed off the tree, turning to face Wukong fully. "You seriously need to get some more social interaction- it'll help you be more confident again!"

Wukong opened his mouth as though to speak-

"Fighting Macaque that one time doesn't count as social interaction." MK deadpanned, watching unimpressed as Wukong nervously scratched the side of his face. "....Tell you what, if you come with me and Mei shopping tomorrow, I'll get off your case for a week. Does that sound okay?"

"...Yeah..." Wukong quietly gave his assent, and MK beamed.

"Great! Now, are we going to do training?"

"I didn't plan anything out though...."

"That's okay, we can just spar!"

Wukong was 20 minutes late.

MK glanced at his watch again just to make sure that he was reading the time right, before looking back over to Mei. She was playing some game or other on her phone, looking bored.

"Y'know, I'm starting to think Mr. Monkey King might be scared of me." Mei said after another minute went by with still no sign of Wukong.

"Honestly, you might not be too far off from the truth there." MK admitted, "I was half expecting him to at least send a clone, but he must know that I catch on to that immediately now."

"Do you think he's alright?" Mei put her phone back in her pocket, now glancing at the sky with concern. "Like, he didn't freak too much over it and hole himself up in his room or something again, did he?"

"No, he's already met you once, so I don't think it'd be that bad again." MK pulled the staff out of his pocket, contemplating for a moment. "...Hey Mei, how would you like a trip to Flower Fruit Mountain?"

"I would love to." Mei smirked, before turning around and entering the mall, grabbing hold of the back of MK's hoodie to drag him in along with her. "But first, we're gonna need some supplies!"

When MK and Mei arrived on Flower Fruit Mountain, it was once again quiet.

"Okay." MK shifted the bag he was carrying on his arm, adjusting his grip. "He's probably up in his little house behind the waterfall. He probably knows we're here by now, so..."

"So all we have to do is find him." Mei finished, "Don't worry MK, I remember the plan."

"Right. Okay." They passed through the water fall, walking through the cave. Standing in front of Wukong's door, MK set his bag on the ground in order to lift his arm and knock.

One of the younger monkeys opened the door.

"Hey there!" MK said, "Is Monkey King here?"

The tiny monkey chitters out a response MK interprets as yes, moving aside to let Mei and MK through. Mei easily finds her way into the kitchen, and MK can hear the clattering of some pots and pans as she shuffles things around (they'd bought some hot chocolate, and apparently Mei refused to wait any longer before making it). MK, meanwhile, sets his bag down by the door and starts looking for Wukong.

It ends up not being very hard really, as he finds his mentor laying on the couch, a blanket pulled over top of his head, his tail poking out and resting on the floor, stiff.

...Too stiff.

"Monkey King?" MK asks, and he sees the fur on Wukong's tail bristle, but yet the monkey himself doesn't move. "I know you're awake."

Wukong says something entirely incoherent.

"Me and Mei are here to have a sleepover, if you're wondering." MK says, "Since you didn't come shopping with us."

There's no response.

Suddenly Mei curses, and there's a loud clatter in the kitchen. MK turns, suitably distracted.

"Y'alright?" He yells.

"Fine! Monkey King just has horrible sorting skills is all!" Is the response he gets, and MK quietly chuckles because, well, she's not wrong.

When he turns back around, Wukong is out from under the blanket, standing up, his usual nervous smile plastered on his face.

...But something's off. His back is too straight, for one, the Monkey King that MK knows is normally slightly slouched. The look in his eyes doesn't show shyness either, rather an attempt at faking being shy.

MK makes his deduction in less than a second.

"You're a clone aren't you."

"Oh thank heavens." The Wukong clone, relaxes just slightly, the nervous smile slipping off in favor of a more relaxed, natural one. (One that, notably, MK has only seen on Wukong's clones. Well, he thinks he saw his mentors real smile once, but Wukong had left rather fast after that, so MK had never been actually sure.) "I wasn't sure how long I could pretend to be nervous for."

"He's trying to bail again, huh." MK said, not even surprised, having mostly known this would happen. 500 years by himself had really taken it's toll on the Monkey King, MK still wasn't sure how exactly Wukong had lost his confidence, but the consequences of whatever it was were fairly obvious. It had taken forever for MK to actually get his mentor to just have normal conversations with him instead of just leaving him sticky notes with instructions on them. During that time, Wukong had run away from MK *multiple* times.

Well, not tonight. MK personally respected Wukong's lack of knowledge on how to be social, and knew first hand the experience of not feeling up to interacting with people. But if Wukong didn't at least try to step over his comfort zone, then he'd never become confident again.

Wukong's clone seemed to have the same idea, as he turned, walking off down a hallway. MK heard a door open- followed by a yelp of betrayal, and then the clone was back, carrying a flustered Monkey King over his shoulder, dumping him onto the couch before vanishing, just as Mei entered the living room with a tray covered in candies, as well as three mugs of hot chocolate.

"Did I miss anything?" She asks, setting the tray down on the coffee table, before sitting on the couch to the left of Wukong. The Monkey King actually squeaked, shifting to move to the other side, only to be stopped by MK sitting on his right. Almost as though they'd planned it, they both leaned up against Wukong simultaneously, feeling how he stiffened at the sudden contact.

"Did you get the remote?" Mei asked, sipping at her hot chocolate.

"Yep." MK held the remote up with one hand, easily accessing Wukong's Netflix account. (He'd accidentally stumbled upon the password one of the times the monkeys had shoved him into the house in an attempt to help him interact with Wukong.) "What do you want to watch?"

"Hm, dunno. What do you think, Mr. Monkey King?"

Wukong didn't respond. He still hadn't relaxed either. His eyes looked slightly unfocused, and MK could practically hear the computer crashing noises.

Jeez. Wukong was a lot more touch-starved than he had thought.

And then Wukong moved, sliding down a little, covering his face with his hands. Mei and MK shared a look of concern.

Maybe this much contact was a bit too much to start?

MK leaned away from Wukong, putting just the slightest bit of distance between them, Mei following his lead soon after.

They were both quiet for a moment, silently considering what to do next as Wukong continued to not look at them.

...And then Mei grabbed the pillow behind her, slowly raising it over her head.

MK barely had the time to register what she was doing before the pillow smacked him in the face.

Mei burst out laughing at MK's surprised look, jumping up off the couch, pulling more pillows out of...somewhere. MK hadn't seen her grab them, but they were certainly there now.

He ducked down, sliding off the couch as a pillow soared over his head, flopping against the couch cushions, having not met it's target. He barely managed to shift out of the way of a second pillow, catching a third before it could hit him in the chest.

"Oh it is on!" He cheered, spinning around before throwing the pillow at Mei as hard as he could.

Soon enough the pillow fight increased to all out warfare, more pillows seemingly appearing out of nowhere. MK laughed, nearly forgetting about Wukong-

And then a pillow hit him in the back of the head.

Both he and Mei paused, knowing for a fact that Mei hadn't thrown it, she was in front of him, getting him from behind was impossible.

MK turned around just in time to see Wukong create another pillow out of one of his hairs and throw it.

When MK pulled the pillow off of his face, he was greeted with Wukong's nervous smile, and a bit of anxious laughter.

MK glanced at Mei.

Well. This wasn't exactly the way they had planned to help Wukong come out of his shell a bit, but it could work.

Sleepovers became more frequent after that. Typically they ended up with just a pillow fight, but still, it was some progress, however small.

MK and his friends were more than content to take things slow, let Wukong relearn how to socially interact and overcome his shyness the normal way.

And then New Years happened.

Wukong was still definitely not comfortable interacting with anyone other than Mei, MK, and Sandy, but he did start showing up a bit more frequently. (MK had noticed that Wukong tried his hardest to be more confident around Pigsy. He wasn't sure as to why Wukong did so, but he did. Pigsy himself seemed concerned about it as well, but for the most part let it slide). MK sometimes couldn't help but feel that his mentor seemed a bit...worried about something. But whenever he asked, Wukong would just clam up, sometimes even going so far as to distract MK before teleporting away.

But whatever. It was fine, they were making progress. Wukong was actually somewhat talking to people now, albeit he was still quiet, and easily flustered at the smallest of things. (Tang had briefly mentioned how impressive Wukong's feats were in an offhand sentence, and the Monkey King had practically shut down for an entire half an hour.)

...Unlike MK and the others however, Demon Bull King was more than slightly concerned.

The New Years Incident had been his first time seeing the Monkey King since 500 years ago, and needless to say, he was not what he expected.

He remembered Wukong being boastful, confident, easily coming up with snarky quips left and right.

So it was definitely a shock when, instead of annoyingly chatting or created stupid jokes while captured by Spider Queen, Wukong had simply sat there, quiet, a light blush dusting his face as he sulked, embarrassed over having gotten caught.

Demon Bull King could only wonder what in the world could've happened that would've rendered the Monkey King so shy.

He'd shared his concerns with his family, of course, in a roundabout, thinly veiled way. (He had been fairly certain that the monkey of the conversation had actually been spying on them at the time). Princess Iron Fan had commented about seeing Red Son in a slightly similar state, considering how he never could seem to hold an actual conversation with MK or Mei, instead always challenging them to a battle. (She was concerned, for her son. She'd known that staying in his lab, working on inventions day in and day out would definitely be bad for his social skills, but Red Son had been so stubborn at the time that there'd been nothing she could do.)

Red Son, of course, entirely missed hearing the conversation about himself.

He did however, hear the one about Wukong.

Which, of course, led to-

"Wake up, simian!"

Wukong startled, rolling out of bed, falling to the floor, his blankets falling on top of him and obscuring his vision. He scrambled for a minute, trying to get his bearings as he struggled with the blankets, trying to clear his vision.

A light laugh made him freeze, suddenly glad for the blankets covering him as he felt his face flush as he realized he wasn't alone.

"Seriously? This is the great, powerful Monkey King everyone is afraid of?"

It took a moment for him to place the voice, slowly lifting the blankets up, keeping his head hung low as he checked to make sure.

Bright red jacket. The faint smell of smoke.

Red Son.

Wukong looked away, trying to pull up every inch of confidence he'd regained.

"....How'd you get into my house?" Is what he ended up saying, and he mentally patted himself on the back for not having his voice break mid sentence.

"Please, it's not like it's that difficult."

"There's a whole entire waterfall sealing the place."

"Which is very easy to by pass if you know how."

Wukong couldn't come up with a response for that, instead forcing himself to stand up, trying to put a normal smile on his face, but knowing it would probably only end up being his usual nervous one.

"Uh, um. Why are you here?" He finally asked.

"Well, uh, my father is worried about you so I'm here to help you or....whatever.... something like that..." Red Son said, getting a bit quieter and trailing off towards the end of his sentence.

"I-" Suddenly, irritation overcame Wukong's shyness and anxiety. "You- you're just as bad as I am!"

(Demon Bull King had been right. Wukong had been spying on them during that conversation. He'd originally planned on going over to talk to them, but then, well, as usual he'd panicked, and ended up listening in the rafters while waiting for an opportunity to leave unnoticed.

...That had been a long day.)

Red Son spluttered for a moment, before pulling himself together.

"I am not." He hissed, the edges of his hair sparking.

"You socialize with my successor by fighting him because you don't know how to ask him and Mei to hang out outside of battling." Wukong deadpanned, "And no, battles do not count as social interaction, according to MK."

There was a pause, where they both went silent, staring at each other, waiting for the next move.

An hour later, and they were both sitting on the floor of Wukong's bedroom, both of them looking slightly frazzled.

"I mean, just." Red Son said, "How do you talk to people?!"

"I literally have no idea." Wukong sounded just as stressed and dismayed as Red Son. "I mean, MK and his friends have been trying, and like, I guess it's been working, because they haven't complained about me yet, but still, just, what is social interaction??"

"I don't know!" Red Son groaned, holding his head in his hands. "If- if only we had someone who was really good at social interaction, someone we could copy-"

"Like MK?" Wukong asked, before immediately dismissing the idea in his next sentence. "No, no, he'd pick up on what we're doing and either make us stop or call us out on it way too fast...."

"Agreed, we definitely cannot use the Noodle Boy or his friends as an example." Red Son muttered, "But....to be honest with you, I don't know many other people."

"...Me either." Wukong flopped backwards to lay on the floor, both of them sighing in defeat.

And then Wukong, tensed sitting back up, a thoughtful but also very reluctant look on his face.

"...Actually, there is one person we might be able to go to..."

"...What's being social?"

Wukong and Red Son both looked at their last hope of a savior in dismay.

Macaque stared back with an equivalent amount of confusion.

The three of them sat in the middle of a small park, partially hidden from passerby by a line of bushes. Macaque wasn't even entirely sure how he'd gotten there, and wasn't even close to having a clue as to what was going on.

"What do you mean you don't know- you socialize literally every day!" Wukong threw his hands up into the air, in a mixture of anger and defeat.

"You alone are literally responsible for over half of the city's parties." Red Son added, "How can you not know how to be social when you're the perfect example of a social butterfly?"

"I don't know." Macaque shrugged. If anything, this reaction seemed to cause Red Son and Wukong more distress.

"So you're saying you.... don't actually know how to socially interact?"

"Uh, no?" Macaque leaned back, crossing his arms. "I kinda just go along with whatever happens so- wait why are you crying."

Red Son looked to his left to see that, oh, uh, Wukong was crying. He didn't seem like he wanted to be, if the way he was hiding his face behind his hands and trying to muffle his sobs was any indication, but he definitely was.

"You were our last hope of understanding social interaction." Wukong muttered, voice muffled by his hands. Red Son awkwardly hovered his hand over Wukong's shoulder, knowing that the other still wasn't entirely used to touch.

"...Aren't the both of you interacting with me ri-" Macaque was abruptly cut off as something grabbed him by the back of his scarf, pulling him back into the bush. Red Son was too focused on Wukong, and Wukong was too busy trying to stop crying, to notice the sudden disappearance.

Macaque landed on his back, spitting out a stray leaf as he looked up at MK. (He'd known Wukong's successor was spying on them, he'd heard him hide behind the bush. Still though, randomly grabbing him was a little bit annoying).

"You can't tell them that they're socially interacting." MK hissed, quiet enough that the other two couldn't hear him. Macaque raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"Any particular reason as to why?"

"If you tell them they're actually interacting it's like- it's like Cinderella when the clock hits midnight, they both go back to being easily flustered recluses." MK said, "You've got to keep them going without realizing what they're doing for as long as possible."

"...Okay???" Honestly, this didn't clear things up for Macaque at all, but he wasn't going to try and argue with MK now.

MK let go off his scarf, and Macaque returned to his position in front of Wukong and Red Son, adding an extra glamour over top of himself so that his little trip through the bush would be entirely unnoticeable. Funnily enough, neither of them seemed to have noticed his temporary disappearance.

"So uh....wanna keep not-socializing with me at that cafe over there?" Macaque pointed over his shoulder at a nearby place he liked to visit. If he was going to do this, he was going to need another dose of caffeine. "I can maybe try and figure out some tips for you?"

"Yes please." Wukong and Red Son said in sync, already standing up and moving towards the cafe. Macaque stood up shortly after them.

Quietly, watching them walk in front of him, he thought; 'They're idiots.'

"Wukong, why are you hiding your face, Red Son's the one that just face planted while walking through a door!"

The Monkey King's response was completely incoherent, afflicted with second-hand embarrassment. Both he and Red Son refused to look Macaque in the eye.

The shadow monkey sighed, almost tempted to teleport away to find somewhere nice to scream.

MK better find a good way of paying him back for this.

#Monkie Kid #my writing #Shy!Wukong AU

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thesolferino · 3 years

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⤷ note: apologies for losing your request, anon, but thank you for requesting! this is my first time writing a full fic in second person, so bear with me, and i hope this is what you were looking for <3

The Great American Bake Off

pairing: corpse husband x gn!reader

word count: 3.6k

genre: fluff

summary: you’ve been jealous of rae and her closeness with your boyfriend since the dawn of time, but things change and friendships are made once she comes over for one hell of a cooking video.

Corpse, among many other things, was a man many wished to have.

It’s the truth; even if he didn’t have a YouTube channel through which millions kept up with everything from horror stories to Among Us gameplays, people would still turn heads and whisper whenever he spoke - that attention more than multiplied when he started blowing up and his social media presence grew.

With growth come numbers, and there are always people behind said numbers. Through them, Corpse makes wonderful friends - through them, you had met him, too. All the way back, during his horror narration days, you had grown to like him - really, who wouldn’t?

A DM you once sent after a few drinks, when you claimed to your friends you’d get the “deep-voiced man of your dreams” you often talked about and they, in turn, challenged you to message him, was nothing short of a joke and the idea of him responding was merely a pipe dream. What you hadn’t expected, however, was a response, which wrecked your brain at noon the next day, where your head throbbed with embarrassment, guilt, pride, happiness, a melt of hatred and gratefulness for your friends, panic and the remains of alcohol that tugged at every part of your skull.

It had turned out to be more than a great idea, though, because for the next few weeks you were constantly talking. You learned so much more than he let on in videos, and during late night calls you found out everything from his favorite clothing brand to his favorite color to his thoughts about his own mortality and then back to his favorite cereal. Audio calls and short voice messages turned into hours long FaceTimes that led you from friends to something more. And after a year or so of dating, you packed your bags and made it to sunny San Diego, ready to lay in his arms and sweat bullets.

Safe to say Corpse’s social media presence had its good sides. However, with all good things come bad things too, and you weren’t sure if the bad things were bad at all or you were simply too jealous.

Corpse made wonderful friends thanks to his YouTube channel. He met people he could confide in, meet, people he could talk to about his worst problems, people who would listen - he met people he could have fun with, with who he could forget all about the real world and his own issues, and simply laugh his heart away, play games until the late hours of the night.

If he had to name his closest ones, they would have to be Dave, Loey, maybe Mykie, possibly Jack, and Rae. And that is exactly where the root of the problem stood.

Rae is beautiful, and everyone who denies it must be either dumb or blind. She’s drop dead gorgeous, and funny, and kind, and smart, in a way that made you want to rip your hair out. You wanted to hate her so bad, because the jealousy ate away at you like a damn disease, but you couldn’t, because she was perfect Rae, and as much as you hated the fact she seemed to be perfect inside out, you just couldn’t hate her as her. It was impossible, you concluded.

You convinced yourself you weren’t jealous every time you heard him yelling or laughing at her from his office room - or at least you attempted to do so. Your lunch would turn sour and end up forgotten because you’d be way too focused on listening in on what he was doing and trying to make out what she was saying to even eat at the same pace you previously were. Jealousy ate away at you, no matter if you admitted it to yourself or not.

It didn’t go unnoticed by Corpse, of course. On one late night when you couldn’t sleep and neither could he, as per usual, you turned on a random comedy that you half-heartedly paid attention to, his fingers combing through the knots in your hair peacefully and the slow pace of the movie lulling you to sleep slowly. That is, before his phone rang and lit the mostly dark room. You managed to sneak a glance at the notification before he had, and the familiar bitterness seeped between your ribs as always upon seeing the name displayed at the top of the message, more than awake now.

You visibly stiffened when he laughed at the message and typed something back, shifting your head in his lap as some subconscious attempt at getting him to pay attention to you instead. He put his phone down and you huffed, eyes locked on the TV screen as you pretended to be extremely absorbed in the movie even though you weren’t quite sure of the difference between the protagonist and antagonist anymore. His hands didn’t return to your hair, and that somehow made you even more annoyed.

“What’s up?” Corpse quietly spoke up, barely over the volume over the already quiet movie.

“Nothing.” You said, quicker than you wanted to, and you bit your tongue in cringe when you realised it was an awful lie. Corpse seemed to think the same.

“That’s bullshit. Seriously, what’s wrong?” He asked, and was met with pure silence. In reality, you were hoping he’d simply never realise you were somewhat jealous, because you knew you were being stupid and unreasonable, but you couldn’t help wanting him all to yourself. Admitting it out loud made it so much more real, and so much more embarrassing that you would rather bury yourself alive than admit to being jealous of Rae, of all people.

After a few seconds of silence, save the laughter of characters on screen, he spoke again.

“Are you jealous?” The hint of a teasing tone in his voice made you want to rip your hair out of your skull. Was it really that damn hard to believe that yes, you were jealous of an extremely close friend of his? Was it a crime?

The clenching of your jaw seemed to give Corpse enough of a response, and his hands returned to running themselves through your hair as he giggled to himself.

“What’s so damn funny?” You borderline spat, causing his movements to halt for a second before continuing with even louder laughter.

“I don’t know, just the idea of you being jealous of Rae is so funny. I’ve noticed the way you roll your eyes whenever I text her in front of you. You’re not exactly sneaky, you know?” His words made blood rush straight to your face, cheeks heating up in embarrassment. How long has he known this for?

“Sorry. I don’t…” you exhaled and attempted to smile. “I don’t know what’s up with me. I’m so jealous nowadays. I don’t even know why.”

“There’s enough of me to share with everyone, no worries baby.” he replied, teasing tone still yet to dissipate as you slap his knee in mock offense and he starts wheezing.

“Absolutely not! Fucking excuse you, I’m not sharing with anyone!” you gaped at him as he kept laughing.

That was the end of it - or at least Corpse thought so. Needless to say, he was wrong.

Your mood would instantly turn sour whenever he’d laugh at one of her messages, and you attempted to push down every eye roll whenever he’d sit on his phone, between your legs, back turned to you so you could see everything, and open Rae’s DMs again. Sometimes you managed, sometimes you couldn’t help it, but you did your best to do it whenever he wasn’t looking. Because you truly knew you were being unreasonable, especially whenever you have to relay situations like how he had to postpone a date one time because Rae asked him to play Rust for a bit longer and you almost ripped all your hair out of your skull in frustration back to your best friend who just turned Rae and Corpse into the villains in the situation because that’s what best friends are supposed to do.

Not like he was going out of his way to talk to her a concerning amount, they mostly talked in groupchats and on streams and that was only a few times weekly, but it did absolutely nothing to calm the green monster growing stronger in you every day, fed by every laugh she got out of him.

The green monster fucking loved it when Corpse excitedly announced to you that he’s finally meeting his friends for the first time, and by friends meaning Rae, Sykkuno and Karl. You, however… were far from impressed.

He paced around the room in excitement, a mix of obvious anxiety and joy evident on his face, and he fiddled with the strings of his hoodie with shaky hands as he very proudly announced that he would be the second tallest person in the room through a blinding, pearly grin, and seeing him so electrified couldn’t help but make you shut your jealous thoughts up, even if just for a little bit, and mirror his grin back to him.

What did, however, make you as anxious as him was when he announced they’d a) be coming to your shared apartment and b) making a cooking video - it sent you into a panicked mom mode as you dusted every corner of every room and vacuumed everything from the kitchen to the balcony and Corpse did nothing but record you as you anxiously rambled and laugh at you from his place on your bed.

When the dreaded Saturday finally came, and the first person to arrive, Sykkuno, rang your doorbell, you squeezed Corpse’s hand to stop him from nervously toying with his rings and opened the door, and you greeted the man like he was your own brother and not a person you’d seen probably a total of three times through the computer screen and someone who’s seen you maybe two times, from the pictures Corpse sent him, in your best attempt to make both of them more comfortable. It actually kind of worked - turns out Sykkuno is a pretty affectionate guy, too, and a conversation started as soon as he stepped in. Corpse gave you a look when you pulled away from Sykkuno’s half-hug, and you almost laughed out loud at the irony when his phone lit up with a notification from Rae announcing she was almost there at that exact moment.

She had kept true to her word; ten minutes or so later, another ring was heard and you gestured to Corpse to open it this time as you gave Sykkuno his cup of water and resisted any and every urge to roll your eyes or do something otherwise bitchy and stupid. Corpse did as told, and you watched them hug and listened to Rae squeal in excitement through the open door of the living room and decided to plaster a smile on your face for as long as you could muster before you remove yourself from the situation when they start filming.

Unfortunately for you, the first person she locked eyes with was exactly you, and they lit up an even prettier brown (if that was even possible) as she beelined to you and you barely got a greeting out before she engulfed you in a large hug, arms wrapping around your neck as she swayed both of you side to side.

“Oh my God, you must be Y/N! I’ve heard so much about you, it’s so nice to finally meet you!” Rae cheered into your ear before she finally pulled back, before shooting an infectious grin at you that you couldn’t help but return back.

“All good things, I hope.” you chuckled as she moved to greeting Sykkuno, and nodded her head with an enthusiastic giggle of her own. You eyed Corpse for a second who simply leaned against the door frame, watching the whole thing unfold with somewhat of a proud smile on his face, before Rae turned back to you and your attention was on her again.

“Of course! Corpse is very much a simp for you, you know that?” She said and both you and Corpse laughed, especially him, who nodded his head in agreement as she sat back down, still beaming at you.

“Well, I’m happy to hear that.” you respond before turning back to Corpse. “Where’s Karl at?”

“He’ll be here in half an hour or so, he only landed recently.” he said. You nodded and moved to sit on a nearby chair to leave space for the guests on the couch.

Karl ended up arriving in twenty minutes and apprised everyone of the information that “his taxi driver is a psycho that, apparently, doesn’t fear stop signs or the police” before setting up the camera in your kitchen and tried his best to attach lapel mics on everybody (admittedly, it took way longer than it should’ve, but he eventually managed and that counted as a win in his book). You reluctantly agreed to be the judge of the finished product when they’re done cooking, and Karl was there for the purposes of being a cameraman and making jokes off screen so he agreed too, albeit way more enthusiastically than you.

The two of you sat behind the camera as the three of them lined up, Corpse wearing a mask and his signature eyepatch (that he didn’t really need, but those two did their job in preserving his privacy) and introduced what they were doing. Corpse was obviously very anxious, hands fidgeting constantly and shivering like a dog after a bath despite the hoodie he was wearing in 100 degree weather because of the shower of sweat that was now drying on his body, and that was partly why you were there, supportive smiles, encouraging cheers and all.

They were making Mexican ground beef tacos, and despite knowing Corpse can barely make a sandwich without setting at least two dishes on fire, you still cheered him on proudly and repeated he was part Mexican himself roughly 5 times a minute, claiming he was going to kill it.

“Kill it? More like kill one of us- CORPSE watch what you’re doing with that fucking knife! You’re proving my point!” Rae yelled at him as he giggled in delight, watching the woman gape at him in pure horror and Sykkuno watch his movements completely entranced as he played with the knife in his hands.

“You’re just mad that he’s going to make tacos fifty times better than you.” you said to Rae, chewing down on some M&Ms that Karl and you shared (both of you decided on a genius plan - you’re going to eat the whole bag before they’re done with cooking so you can claim you’re full and therefore can’t eat the atrocity that will most likely be the tacos).

“Don’t gas me up like that, Y/N, you are well aware I’m shit at cooking. Expect absolutely nothing from me.” he replied over the sizzling of the meat on the pan, throwing a whole spoonful of chili powder into it, earning loud yelling and scolding from your side and loud laughter from Rae.

“HALF A TEASPOON! Half a teaspoon, how have you not remembered this already?! We’ve made tacos a million times now, oh my God, you’re actually stupid.” you yelled at him, arms flailing in the direction of the seasoning to emphasise your ‘half a teaspoon’ point as Rae doubled over in laughter and Sykkuno looked into the pan with a concerned and somewhat afraid look. Just as he peeked in, the overwhelming smell of chili powder started biting away at his eyes, and he jumped away with a yelp.

“Jesus, Corpse!” he exclaimed, rubbing his eyes with his forearm as the whole room burst into laughter and Corpse suspiciously inspected his beef.

“What were you saying about your ‘Mexican king’, Y/N?” Rae asked, pulling out a few tortillas and putting them on the table. You huffed, grabbing another handful of M&Ms.

“Giving him up to God. He’s the only one who can help, at this point.” you said. She giggled in response and Corpse let out some sort of protesting sound and waved his knife around in complaint. “I don’t know who this man is. He broke into my kitchen and now I’m here.”

“Hey, I pay half of your rent!” he said, and you were about to reply but Rae dropped her meat into a pan full of overheated oil, and a loud hiss and some sort of a scream overtook the room as a cloud of steam shot into the air and she frantically looked around for the wooden spoon so the meat wouldn’t stick to the pan. You simply sat and laughed, eating the candy like it was popcorn and you were watching a shitty cooking show - it wasn’t that far from reality, really.

“Um, I just realised I don’t make many tacos, actually.” she said as she helplessly stirred the meat, turning to you with pleading eyes. “What seasoning even goes into this? Y/N, will you help me? Let’s team up against Corpse!”

You tilted your head in thought, but before you could even speak, Corpse spoke up.

“That’s not fucking fair, that’s-that’s against the rules.” he turned to you. “You won’t betray me, right?”

You laughed at him, adjusting in your seat. “I gave up on you ever since you added, like, 3 kilos of seasoning into the meat for no reason.” then you turned to Rae. “Sure, let’s do it, babe.”

Their loud yelling immediately started mixing, Rae’s cheers contrasting Corpse’s protesting. She stuck her tongue out at him meanwhile Corpse shot her the middle finger, and she turned back to you with a grin.

“Alright, what do I put in?”

Roughly twenty unnecessary and extremely long minutes later, the tacos were done, two each for each of them. Rae’s looked the best - probably because you guided her through the whole thing - next to Sykkuno’s, whose you were genuinely intrigued to try. While Corpse was arguing with Rae, he burned roughly half of his already ruined beef, and Karl made the very nice observation that it looked like a bird shat in a tortilla, which you proclaimed as the highlight of the video.

Since you and Karl claimed you were full, the three of them simply swapped tacos between each other as to be unbiased, and the two of you watched in amused suspense. You were actually quite interested to see what the end results were - you were first anxious and quite annoyed you even had to participate in the first place, because it meant losing your mind from jealousy, watching Corpse and Rae giggle and act all domestic while cooking, but jealousy simply dissipated somewhere half through the video as you watched the three argue if cheddar cheese belonged on tacos or not and Rae laugh at every stupid joke you cracked. Now, you sat, fully immersed as you stared at Sykkuno’s face; the poor guy ended up with the misfortune of having to try Corpse’s taco first.

“Zoom in, zoom in!” you whispered into Karl’s ear who complied and zoomed into Sykkuno’s face. He bit into the taco, chewing for a second before his face twisted in disgust and you began wheezing when he grabbed a tissue and spit it out, immediately grabbing his glass of water. Rae laughed at him as well, mouth full of his one, which she claimed she actually liked but it wasn’t as good as the “Y/NRae-co” as she proudly called it. Corpse silently ate Rae’s taco and refused to give a review on it because he was upset he got defeated, but the fact that he scarfed down the whole thing in a minute or so was enough of a review.

“Oh, come on, it can’t be that bad.” Corpse exclaimed when he saw Sykkuno’s bite in the tissue, grabbing the second taco he made and biting down on it. The whole room burst into laughter when he roughly swallowed, tears obvious in the one eye that showed, because of the overly spicy beef.

“What are you motherfuckers laughing at? It’s not that bad, I stand by tacorpse.”

“Tacorpse is actually genius. The one good thing you came up with during the entirety of this video.” Rae said and Corpse mumbled a fuck you in response.

“Well, I think we can all agree that me and Y/N’s taco was clearly the best.” she said, clasping her hands together.

“I actually think mine was better.” Sykkuno said, to which she pushed his plate out of the frame.

“Nobody asked you anything.”

“Don’t bully Sykkuno, I’ll fucking kick you out.”

“Oh yeah? I’m pretty sure Y/N would kick you out before they’d let you kick me!” Rae said, accusingly pointing her taco in Corpse’s direction.

“Alright, let’s wrap up the video.” Karl laughed behind the camera, and the three of them all turned to properly face it and end the video.

“Thank you all so much for watching, this has been an… interesting video, to say the least. Uh, thank you to Karl for filming this whole disaster, thank you to Corpse,” Rae gestured in his direction, “for lending us his kitchen, thank you to Sykkuno for probably getting us more views on this video, and also a big thank you to Y/N, Corpse’s better half for making this video way more interesting and helping me make probably, like, the best taco I’ve ever made.” she grinned and you shoved a peace sign in front of the camera.

“If you liked this video, check out Sykkuno and Corpse’s channels, they will be linked down below, and please click like and subscribe to support the channel! Again, thank you all for watching, see you later, bye!” she finished, and with that, Karl turned the camera off.

Silence engulfed the room. You sighed.

“Alright, who’s gonna clean this shit up?”

#corpse husband x reader #corpse husband x y/n #corpse husband x you #corpse husband x female reader #corpse husband fanfic #corpse husband imagine #corpse husband fluff

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