#and I’m just mentally drained

[shokupanko]

First Fukase Friday of 2024! This one took 5hrs lol I wanna to be so extra (─‿─)

#vocaloid #art #fanart #vocaart #fukase #procreate #fukase friday #FIVE HOURS OF MY LIFE #But actually I was working on it for a week on then off so the total time was 5 hours and 11 minutes of insanity #I love creating new outfits so much like designing clothes is sm fun #I was trying to make it steampunk but then it started looking harajuku now I have no idea what it is lol #I feel bad that I had nothing for his birthday but I’m always late for VocalSynth birthdays anyway sooooi #ALSO I SAW THAT SOMEONE SAID MY ART INSPIRES THEM AND OMG I’VE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPH #I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH I MISSED YOUUUUUUUU #I tried to make this extra extra detailed which is why it took so long #usually I finished artworks in like an hour hour and a half #but I wanted this one to be ✨special✨ #ALSO can I just say January was like the hardest month of my life? it was so mentally draining and exhausting #I started spending more time with my siblings and now I can’t get away from them lol I love them with my whole soul #no like fr they keep me going and I’ve never been happier #maybe isolating yourself when you’re sad ISNT a good idea and you SHOULD socialize? #I’m big dumb okay #anyway happy Fukase Friday and belated birthday to my special boy #ALSO I REALIZED THAT I’VE NEVER DRAWN HIM WITH HIS MARK???? WHY????

[oobbbear]

Have a funny style study I did for school

#my art #I kinda lost my will to create for a while #for a while I mean like 2-3 months #I don’t know what I like anymore my brain stopped talking to me and it’s scary #I might stop drawing fanart for a while #and slowly drift away from the sunmoon fandom #don’t get me wrong I still love them #and I definitely want to create for them #it’s just i think I need to make something for myself and they’re in the way… #put them in a nice little box along with my other blorbos #I’m need to find my love for art back #so I can come back stronger and less mentally drained ✨

[alwaysneedyforsir]

is a hug too much to ask for

#seriously #i’m jus #so so goddamn touch starved #like i would do insane things to just get a hug rn #a proper hug that lasts like two seconds #so so tired #physically but also #emotionally n mentally drained rn #tired n exhausted n straight up numb #i get myself out of this shitty place n then fall right back into it again #just #a proper night’s sleep where i don’t wake up exhausted and dreading the day ahead #n a fucking hug #seriously when did a hug become too much to ask for #i’ll probably wake up n be horrified n delete this so enjoy my rambles for the next like #3.5-4ish hours before i’m awake again? #fml! #it’s fine i’m fine everything’s fine #i just need someone to hug me while i sleep a full night #and the chances of me finding that anytime soon are #too low to even try n pretend to calculate #goodnight y’all #wishing y’all the hugs that i can’t seem to get #me #my thoughts

[hemeruni]

If the next update somehow leads to another Hemera hate campaign starting up again I’m going to go insane dude holy shit

Oh, how it must pain me to love a character that is situated in a fanbase that the majority sees her as scum :(( Can’t have a single panel of Hemera in the main comic because nooooooo she’s meannnn noooooo she did this noooooooo

If it hits a boiling point I might genuinely consider writing a whole-ass document defending this damn fox

You don’t have to LIKE her, but understand that she’s LAYERED, SHE’S NOT EVIL!! She’s traumatized just like everyone else.

#ramblings #text post #I’m not posting this on the main tag since it doesn’t deserve it #I’m just so tired of seeing Hemera get sidelined and ridiculed #it’s mentally draining seeing basic reading comprehension skills being thrown out the window #god I’m going to bed

[ghosts-and-blue-sweaters]

I don’t usually like making posts like this, but I’d appreciate prayers! There’s nothing Bad going on in my life, but the past day has been very emotionally heavy and I have a pretty important thing I’ll be doing tonight/tomorrow, and I’m a bit worried that it’s gonna be too much for me to handle. So prayers would be very much appreciated, just that God can lead me through all this and give me strength <3

#aaaaaah #my post #the thing I’ll be doing tonight/tomorrow involves a LOT of socializing #which is a little AAAAAAA because I feel like I just recovered from the socializing/busyness of two weeks ago #I wasn’t expecting to be that drained and I wasn’t expecting it to take so long to mentally recover #but I did recover annnnnd now I’m just gonna be doing more socializing XD #(for those who aren’t aware I am a Major introvert and social situations take so hekkin much out of me) #so… yeah #I’d really really appreciate prayers that I can Make It lol #like I said there’s nothing bad going on! #just a few things I’m nervous about #thanks for reading this <3

[uhbasicallyjustmilex]

me waiting for my writer’s block to fuck off and leave me alone so i can finish this chapter:

#my creativity is just so dead rn and it makes me want to crawl out of my own skin #i’ve been waiting MONTHS to finally have a little bit of free time to breathe and catch up on writing stuff #and naturally now that i have i am so mentally and emotionally drained i can barely string a sentence together #i feel so distant and detached from my characters #and yes i know it’ll pass #but i just feel so caught in this headspace rn and needed to vent #i’m SO close to finishing this chapter for good but i have well and truly fallen at the final hurdle #the perfectionism has got me #ugh #also if anyone reading this is worried about four walls being updated #please don’t #i literally circle through this headspace every single chapter #and it hasn’t stopped me yet #(and it never will either. i couldn’t give up on this fic if i tried) #but it’s just hitting me particularly hard this last week #why is writing such an agonising process sometimes #anyway #enough rambling from me for one night #i’ll drag myself back to my laptop and see if i can work some magic #wish me luck #writing stuff #lulu posts

[afterglowkatie]

if i died everyone would just continue to move on how they always have. i would be forgotten, not remembered. so what’s the point anymore?

#mentally fucked #tw sui vent #i’m exhausted #mentally drained #mentally exhausted #mentally unstable #actually mentally ill #mentally tired #actually bpd #bpd vent #bpd thoughts #bpd mood #actually cptsd #just cptsd things #living with cptsd

[zootopiathingz]

I hate depression but I hate it most when I’m so low on energy and it holds me back from going out with my friends. Like I so rarely ever get to go do anything fun anyway so when I actually have that opportunity it hurts so bad to have it ripped away from me simply bc I can’t bring myself to get out of my damn bed

#tw depression #vent #like bro all I wanted to do today was go to an art club thing with my friends at their school #but just the thought of even getting dressed rn is so draining let alone leave the house and interact with people #I’m normally good about masking it but today I just don’t have the energy to even pretend #I just want to be normal I’m so sick of being mentally ill and exhausted #i’m so tired #lady luxo rambles #might delete later

[charliespringsleftconverse]

Just cried my eyeballs out after picturing myself holding my younger self. It was healing. Until I realized all the pain my five year old self has to go through and grow through without anyone to protect her.

Yeah. Don’t do it. 0/10 experience. Will def make you cry. Again.

#why are people so shitty #just fucking cried my eyeballs out #I’m absolutely destroyed #trauma #family trauma #ptsd #self healing #healing #be kind to your mind #be kind to yourself #emotional abuse #parental abuse #mental abuse #mentally drained #parental neglect #mentally exhausted

[endlessmidnights]

My anxiety has made me paranoid, I can’t here laughter, whispering, plain talking, I can’t see texting, I can’t do anything without thinking I’m being made fun of or talked about in some way

#anxitey #tw anxiety #anxiety be like #why cant i do anything right #mental health #mentally drained #i hate me so much #sorry for being depressing #tw depressing thoughts #depressing shit #tw depressing stuff #mental problems #tw sui ideation #let me go #youre on your own kid #i’m so exhausted #paranoia #paranoid thoughts #stop laughing #please end my suffering #might kms #why do you hate me #am i the only who does this? #why am i this way #why cant i just be normal #tw cvts #mental health relapse #tw selfhate #anxi4ty #never not anxious

[pupcuck]

have been ill since i was a kid it is not going to get better or pass likeeee sick of people telling me otherwise

#🏩.diary #I’ve always been this way #like there is no fixing it it’s not even like #idk my mental illness isn’t even something i can use as an excuse it’s just me now like idk #my friends are insufferable they don’t get it that #it’s not the fucking same like im so upset why do they always make things ab themselves #im the one that has no other friends no job no love life im failing uni with no social life like no you don’t get it #and they’re always like oh i wish I wasn’t known on campus like you talking to people is so draining I hate it #I hate it so bad i need to kill myself #I’ve been suicidal since I was 11 like that’s it’s not gonna change #and then they wonder why I don’t wanna talk like sorry im too suicidal to hear ab you having multiple jobs and boyfriends and driving sorry #like im too bitter #why don’t you just do this I CANT!!! im ugly and repulsive and can’t go outside #I’ve been made fun of for my weight and face by family n school friends like why would k want to go outside when it’s not even. me that #thinks I’m repulsive but everyone around me too #my parents don’t ever call me pretty unless I have makeup on they’re repulsed by me I know they love me bc they have to love me but im such #a loser there’s nothing to be Proud of #I don’t know what to do at all it’s like I’ve fucked it over so badly I can’t fix a single thing #it’s like I have everything wrong w me and it’s humiliating #tw vent #sorry im worked up godddd #I hate when people talk me like it’s my first time feeling this way and that it’s easy to get over #just try getting ur license or doing this I psychically cannot bc I’m crippled by anxiety and facial and body dysmoprhia like fuck off #whatever whatever im too pussy to kill myself so I’ll just live in this fucking cycle forever and ever like bc im literally a fucking . #pussy what’s wrong w me #in other news my sisters separation anxiety is back and she won’t let go of me I can’t go to the bathroom without her coming she’s sleeping #in my bed again #she’s so clingy I love her but I can’t do anything

[hatredscars]

I want to destroy my body for fun, but i don’t know why.

#tw ed vent #it's not as simple as just eating #ed fast #eating is hard #eating issues #mentally drained #mentally fucked #mentally unstable #fucked in the head #not okay #unstable emotions #fat girls #i’m fat #thighspo #i wish i was thinner #th!nsp0 #th!n$po #m34nsp0 #me@nsp0

[callixton]

oh i am on the Brink of a mental breakdown. and like a real one. i am going to feel so so fucking terrible and guilty if i don’t go to the first week of mac rehearsal bc i need to recover but i am also getting the sense that i Need to recover. i have never been this burnt out or genuinely terrified of starting a new semester in my life.

#we go back to campus a week early for mac. to be clear #and god they’ll be long days and they’ll be physically emotionally and mentally draining and i genuinely dont know if i can take that #but i am also going to be missing SO much time. and i won’t be there to support the people who i need to #i have also. been thinking a lot about how i’m scared that i think so much abt death bc i’m gonna be one of those people #who seem even more than everyone else like they have a finite time and then they die young #and then my mom compared me to jonathan larson tonight #so maybe that’s some sort of sign that i need to slow the fuck down #i am crying rn. for myself. which happens about three times a year #and yeah one is usually during winter break so we’re on schedule #i don’t know. idk!! i don’t know what to do here #and i still have to do my fucking scene prep for tomorrow #bc i was talking my mom about it and i really needed support which she was giving and then she has to leave for five seconds #and when she came back the entire conversation was just about her own problems again which we’ve already talked about every fucking night bc #- you can’t leave conversations with her and i hate when she fucking drunks i hate it i hate it #i am Not Well. i’ve sort of been avoiding admitting to myself just how badly #but man. i can push through anything until i drop but when i start wishing that i’ll drop so i have an excuse for a break….. not good #ted talks #the west wing

[sanchoyo]

haven’t been on much bc my dog has been sick :( between seizures and an infected tooth we’ve been having a Time trying to get everything fixed (this started around the holidays so our vet has been very booked up…we have been like 3-4 times in the past 4-5 weeks OTL does not help it’s like an hour drive there, so that’s been exhausting) now his new seizure meds are making him sick (was hoping it was like, just an adjustment period thing but he’s been sick for a week and having concerning symptoms…) if I’m not on a ton or slow to replying to messages it’s bc I’m working as much overtime as my job will give me bc Vet Expensive and mentally drained obvi 😞

#it makes me a lil mad his meds were kinda pricy and they literally are making things worse. like sure he isn’t have seizures but he can #barely walk and keeps running into things and keeps having diarrhea so like. 🙃 and the meds are making him sooo hungry and thirsty #I’m seeing the vet AGAIN FRIDAY I know she’s so sick of me but man my little guy. if she can’t figure out a combo that doesn’t have such #bad side effects I’m literally going to scream and cry #he’s the most sensitive boy in the world and my mental health hangs on his and my cats well being. please. 😭 #sanchoyorambles #I’ve also called them like twice to find out if I should stop or what they want me to do and keep getting ‘oh they’ll call u back’ WHEN #GIRL MY PUBBY #if I don’t hear back before his next dose I’m just gonna make an executive decision myself to stop them for now #he’s literally on the smallest possible dose too bc he’s so little. so. they can’t go down in dosage they’ll need to put him on smth else 😑 #which means paying for ANOTHER PRESCRIPTION A WEEK AFTER ALREASY GETTING ONE THAT WAS $30 ON TOP OF HIS STUPID VET BILL #screaming. #and like if I have the money it’s fine. and it’s not like the vet could’ve known he’d have bad side effects #im just frustrated it’s no one’s fault #I could go to a closer vet. the thing is I LIKE the one further away #they have the only groomer I’ve found that can trim him without sedating him! they send me reminders abt his shots! I like the vibes!!! #they seem caring!! but they are always SOOO BUSY it takes forever to make appointments or to hear back from them 😭 #remember how I said one of my goals was to buy a vechicle this year lmao the vet bills are draining any savings I’ve managed to build up 🤧 #my pets are priority 1 tho like even before all the medical stuff /I/ need like lol… that’s my baby #it’s just really bad timing. not that there’s good timing for medical issues but. u know

[comphyjost]

nate cares about my well being and i appreciate that

#he said i can go to bed he said he’s got it and i can sleep after this mentally draining evening #the way i meant to change this to say his name and not just god but he is a god so it works #i’m exhausted y’all #avs lb #meme #reaction pic

[gmaybe666]

girl help I feel kinda crazy!

#I’m kinda at the end of my tether but I’m also so !!!! and also I’m so cringe #just…masters is so mentally draining. I feel so !?;’br j£;!4&@ making this slide lmao #WHAT IM TRYING TO SAY #when it finally comes out . my byler graphic novel. I hope it was worth it #I’m not making any sense sorry