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minyoongijjangjjangmanboongboong · 5 years

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Ephemera Chapter Fifteen

Ephemera: In art, transitory written and printed matter (receipts, notes, tickets, clippings, etc.) not originally intended to be kept or preserved.

Alternatively, things that exist or are used for only a short time.

Description: Nobody knows who Vante really is. Everything about the popular artist is shrouded in secrecy: from his face to his name to everything in between. After years of working for his art gallery, Y/N feels she may just be the closest thing he has to a friend. Between her success at work and her relationship with campus hot-shot Jeon Jungkook, Y/N’s life has never been better. But is Jungkook truly who he says he is? And who will Y/N protect now that she knows Vante’s livelihood may be on the line?

Genre: Romance, Drama, Fluff, Angst

Pairing: Jungkook x (f) Reader x Taehyung

Word Count: 6.8k

Tags: Non-Idol!Au, Gang!Au, Art History Student!Reader, Film Student!Jungkook, Art Student!Taehyung

Warnings: Swearing and mentions of alcohol, although infrequently

A/N: Hiya! Here’s the next installment. I’ve finally added links to all my previous chapters for easier access, so if you missed any chapters please do check my masterlist! Also, next week my chapter might be a bit early as I’ll be on the road driving so I’ll have to post while I still have wifi. Anyway, please don’t be shy and send feedback, critique, questions, theories, and comments my way. I’ll be sure to respond to all asks I receive within a day of receiving them! Links will be added later, so for now check my masterlist to find previous chapters!

And again, if you want to follow my Twitter, my username is @/plzpunchmebts. I’m super active over there and hopefully in the future I’ll do some livestreams/chats with you all! And concert videos!!

- Mercury

Previous Chapter – Next Chapter

Masterlist

Weekly updates: Sunday, 1PM (PST)

I sat at a lavish table surrounded by food. Like the day before, Hayoon and Jaesun had ordered lots of dishes, perhaps sampling each, and the three of us were now settled before a banquet. Filet mignon, grilled salmon, crab cakes, lobster mac and cheese, German potatoes, and a whole bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon to split between us. I stared slack-jawed at the vast array of food and drink, and the couple — now sharply dressed as they’d been at the charity event — watched my awe with knowing smiles.

We’d met at Nunchi an hour before and walked together into a pristine black car, ushered in by a driver. The drive to Gangnam had been relatively quiet, perhaps due to my own reservations about these people. Although they were Taehyung’s parents, I found it hard to be completely at ease around them when their wealth was so obviously vast.

“Dig in, dear,” said Hayoon, brushing a stray hair back into the perfect bun at the nape of her neck.

Jaesun smiled and piled some mac and cheese onto his plate. I stiffened and looked around the airy, bright restaurant. Surely, this would look odd. This wasn’t the sort of place to share food. But the staff either didn’t mind or were conditioned not to ask too many questions, because they continued bustling across the floor like ghosts, heads down, backs straight.

I cleared my throat and nodded, slicing off a piece of steak and placing it atop my plate. “Um…,” I began, guiding my knife down. “Pardon me, but…why exactly have you been seeking me out?” I asked, meeting Hayoon’s eyes.

She raised her brows before settling into an easy smile. “Ah, well,” she began, waving a fork-wielding hand. “Our son, Taehyung, talks about you quite frequently. For a while now, Jaesun and I were very curious about what sort of person you were.”

I swallowed hard and blinked up at her, at her weathered but lovely face. “Ah,” I said with a stiff nod. “I apologize if I don’t live up to your expectations.”

She laughed and shook her head, chomping down on some salmon. “Not at all, sweetheart,” she said, then sighed. “When we let him move, he was so plucky about things. We set him up in his apartment, but that was the extent of the help he’d accept. Working all over the place. I guess we worried for him more than we said.”

I hummed and nodded. “He would’ve probably scolded you if you’d worried too much,” I said with a fond smile.

She laughed. “I agree.”

“We told him to call us if he ever needed help,” said Jaesun with a full-mouthed nod. “But the kid’s so damn stubborn. He never tells anyone when he’s struggling. At any rate, when he opened his gallery he finally started telling us more about his everyday life.”

“Maybe because he felt like he’d finally succeeded,” I offered with a nod, plopping a serving of potatoes onto my plate. These two seemed unfazed by the way they were perceived, so I tried quickly to follow suit.

Jaesun nodded, waving his steak knife at me. “Exactly!” he said, then laughed. “Anyway, when he started updating us, it was mostly about the gallery and the name that kept coming up was yours.”

“We were very curious,” said Hayoon. “He was really troubled about you for a while, but it seems like he worries a little less these days.”

I hummed. Was it that he worried less or that he spoke about his worries less? Taking a sip of wine, I nodded my head. “He’s been pushing me for a long time to start standing up for myself. I guess lately I’ve been doing that.”

Hayoon smiled and it really touched her eyes. “That’s good, dear,” she said with a nod. “Can’t get anywhere in life if you don’t advocate for yourself.”

“Are you the ones who taught Taehyung that?” I asked, swirling my wine around and watching the feet as they trailed down the side of the glass.

“Learned it from me, probably,” said Jaesun with a gruff laugh. “Kid’s more serious than he looks because I put a lot of responsibility on him growing up.”

I raised my brows. “What sort of responsibility?”

“Well, back in Daegu we run a pretty successful law firm and Tae helped out around the office when he was younger. I thought the kid would be my successor, but, you know, the art and all that…,” said Jaesun with a hearty laugh. “Anyway, I started the firm when Taehyung was a kid and he watched me dig it up from the ground. It’s not easy starting your own firm, I’ll tell you that. But once we got rolling, we kept rolling.”

“What kind of law do you practice?” I asked, watching the usually boisterous man become stoic and sober with every passing word.

He hummed, sipping his wine and smiled. “Bankruptcy and employment law mostly, but we dabble in family law. We try to help people get out of difficult situations.”

I nodded. It made sense now why Taehyung was such a busybody, trying to give assistance even when he wasn’t asked. I felt a small pang of guilt over keeping secrets from a person like that, but then I remembered what he’d said the last time we spoke.

You definitely shouldn’t be involved in this stuff anymore.

Just like his father, swooping in and trying to take responsibility for someone else’s hardships and mistakes. When a person’s out of options, out of capital, filing for bankruptcy is the only option. But the problem with bankruptcy is that it wreaks havoc on your credit score for years after. Just how damaging would it be for me to just…leave this to him? When I can still do something about it myself? When I wasn’t yet out of options?

I heard a cell phone vibrate and Hayoon jumped. She grabbed the phone from her leather bag and her features lit up as she read the name. “It’s Hwayoung,” she said with a grin toward her husband. She turned to me and chuckled. “Our daughter.” Daughter…

Jaesun’s thick, graying brows raised and he returned the smile. “Answer it!”

She turned to me, almost pleading, and I nodded once, waving my hands. She pressed the phone to her ear. “Hey sweetie!” her motherly tone, the way she cupped her hand over the bottom of her phone, cradling it against her cheek, her gentle smile, barely-there dimples: something about it made my heart clench.

I rubbed my hands together before lacing them atop my lap, watching my black dress stretch over my thighs. This moment felt intimate in a way I couldn’t intrude upon, a way that felt like trespassing to observe. I tried to tune out their joyful conversation out of respect — or perhaps self preservation — and did my best not to look melancholy, keeping my smile pasted on my lips without a single budge.

I waited for Taehyung to buzz me up the elevator a few hours later. It had been a while since the two of us had spoken, and I wasn’t so sure how much to tell him. Surely, telling him about Namjoon wasn’t the best idea. But wouldn’t it be better for him to know now rather than find out later?

After a quiet elevator ride, I emerged in the hallway and found my way to his door, knocking twice. “Hey,” I said as he emerged on the other side, smiling.

He hadn’t shaved in a few days if the darker patch of skin above his lip was anything to go by. His hair was a disaster and he was draped in a massive sweatshirt and pants that were too short to cover his ankles. The glasses he usually wore perfectly were sliding down the bridge of his nose and he had circles beneath his eyes. He looked down at me with unbridled happiness and it took me several moments to overcome the shock at seeing the state of him to slide inside his apartment.

Cleaner than before, the place didn’t look as rough as Taehyung did. If I didn’t know any better, I’d have said his condition was improving if the state of his apartment was anything to go by. I figured he had a maid or something, because the incongruity between his appearance and his apartment’s was too great. But once I turned back to look at him, I noticed him yawning, stretching his arms above his head like a cat.

And with a sigh, I resolved to keep everything to myself.

He never tells anyone when he’s struggling.

He was my friend, first and foremost, and he needed help. He needed me. One look at him was enough to tell. He was overwhelmed more than he’d ever admit. Hadn’t he been the one who’d decided to reveal his identity and throw his notions of privacy to the breeze? I glanced at him over my shoulder, watching as he rested his hands in his pockets and greeted me with a smile.

“Taehyung,” I began, eyeing him.

He hummed in response and walked closer. “Yeah?”

“How long has it been since you’ve changed clothes?” I asked, examining the wrinkles in his sweatshirt.

He paused and raised his brows. “Ah, does it smell old?” he asked, tugging on it a little with a bashful smile. “Sorry. It’s been a few days.”

I shook my head. “It’s not that,” I said, then sighed. “You’re not taking very good care of yourself, are you?”

He swallowed hard and laughed a little breathily. “Ha, well it’s not like I’m not taking care of myself, it’s just…”

I sighed and gave his upper arm a squeeze. “I’m just worried,” I said with a nod. “Your parents are too, even if they don’t say it.”

“You met my parents?”

“Haven’t you been keeping an eye on the tabloids?” I asked, cocking my head to the side.

He flushed and laughed once more, averting his gaze. “Well, I’ve been meaning to but I guess I’m in a…a little bit of a slump right now.”

Quietly, I eased down onto his couch and patted the empty space beside me. He sighed, joining me. “Wanna talk about it?” I asked, watching him in profile. His eyes were downcast, shoulders slumped just a little.

“It’s really not a big deal,” he said with a shrug.

There it was again. That diversion. I tried to put my finger on what exactly about it felt so melancholy, so dismissive. “Well if you keep everything to yourself you’re just going to be miserable alone.”

He glanced at me, eyes wide. “Hm?”

I laced my fingers on my lap and sighed. “Your parents mentioned something like that. Like you not reaching out when you need help.”

He stiffened. Had I made a mistake telling him that? He swallowed hard, Adam’s apple bobbing, and nodded. “I…I guess they worry a lot, huh?”

“They’d worry less if you told them about your problems,” I urged.

“Well…more than anything, I think I’m just kinda scared,” he said, then shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair, brows furrowed. “Not that it’s a big deal or anything. Honestly, I’m fi-,”

“Don’t say you’re fine.”

He paused, set his lips thin, and nodded. “Alright,” he said with a long exhale. “I’m spooked.”

“Because people know who you are now?” I asked.

He nodded, rubbing his jaw. “Mhm,” he said, then shook his head. “Leaving the apartment is hard. I’ve had my assistant bring me food and clean up the apartment, but other than that I haven’t really seen anyone.”

“And classes?”

He was quiet, hands clasped like he was praying. “I think I’m gonna drop out.”

I opened my mouth to scold him, but stopped short. To say something like that, to give up on something he truly loved and valued…it seemed that it was hard for him to even say it. Like he was hurting.

So instead, I only nodded and rested my hand on his back. I smoothed circles onto the planes of his shoulder blades and watched as he released a shaky exhale. “That’s a shame,” I said with a nod. “But…if that’s what you feel like you need to do, then I’ll support you.”

He eyed me, brows knit, and I caught a brief glimpse of vulnerability in his expression. “Really?” he asked.

I nodded. “If it’s what’ll make you happy.”

He sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose with two fingers, and sat upright. my hand fell to the back of the couch. “I don’t know when I became so weak.”

“It’s not weakness, Taehyung,” I said, smiling gently as I rested my hand once more atop my lap. “It’s fear. Everyone’s scared. Most people just hide it better.”

“When I was young,” he began, wringing his hands, “Kids weren’t too kind to me.”

My brows raised. “Hm? Were you bullied?” I asked.

He chuckled and shrugged. “At the time, I didn’t think of it that way. I thought being teased was just part of being a kid. My classmates didn’t like me from the start because of my parents’ money. I can understand that. But what they hated more was my drawings. I tried not to get down about it, but…it got to me. And I guess I was too ashamed to tell my family.”

I sighed. “You felt like you had to handle it on your own?” I asked.

He nodded. “Yeah. I guess it made me really scared of standing out in any way. If I can blend in, then…then nobody can really hurt me.”

Quietly, I nodded my head. A thick silence enveloped us, and for a while I didn’t know how to slice through it. So, for a few moments, we simply sat there side by side, neither one speaking as the distant, muffled sounds of the city swirled on outside the big windows.

I glanced at him, at the mile-long gaze he had, and pressed a hand to his shoulder. He jolted a little, like the touch brought him back to reality, and I smiled. “For what it’s worth,” I began, “I think those people who hurt you in the past are really regretting it now.”

He was quiet for half a beat before releasing one sharp chuckle that quickly devolved into choppy, almost desperate laughter. I joined him, mindful of the way tears pooled in the corners of his eyes. I felt that, for the tiniest of moments, I could really understand him.

I released a huff of breath and stood to my feet, patting my thighs with a smile. I extended a hand to Taehyung which he took without a moment’s hesitation. He stood upright in front of me and, quickly, I slipped my hand free. I angled myself behind him and pushed him by the shoulders toward his bathroom.

“Go take a shower and put on a fresh set of clothes,” I said, to which he only laughed. “I’ll make some food.”

He paused and turned to me, clearly ready to fight me on it, but I silenced him with the cock of one eyebrow. He shut his mouth and opted instead for a small, bashful smile and a nod.

“Sorry it’s not much,” I said with a chuckle. “I’m not the best cook.”

Taehyung shook out his wet hair, water droplets clinging to the ends, and peered over my shoulder at the pan I was managing. He’d changed into a nice shirt and joggers, his skin glowing from the shower. “I like fried rice,” he said with a chuckle before plopping down at the barstool beside the counter.

I glanced at him over my shoulder and noticed he was resting his freshly shaven chin in his hand, watching me with a fond smile. I wasn’t quite sure why, but my stomach felt a little fluttery and I turned back to the food, pushing the rice and vegetables around with the spatula.

“Can I have one of your beers?” I asked quietly, not looking back again. I could feel him staring at me.

“Mhm,” he said. I kept an eye on the pan as I wandered toward the fridge and pulled out a can. “Get one for me too, hm?”

“Sure thing,” I said, grabbing a second one and sliding it to him. I paused across the counter, the two of us locking eyes as he plunged the tab down and took an easy swig. “Your parents…,” I began, rolling the toe of my sneaker into the ground. “They’re really nice.”

He chuckled, nodding and pointing with his free hand to my untouched beer. I followed suit and cracked it open, pressing the can to my lips. “They’re good folks,” he said with a sigh, eyes going far away. He pulled his glasses off his nose and cleaned the foggy patches with the sleeve of his shirt. “They never really let me want for anything.”

“Is that why you wanted to move here and do things yourself?” I asked, resting my palms on the counter.

He hummed. “Probably, yeah,” he said with a sigh. “They were really great, but I guess…those kids kinda got to me a little. Saying I had everything handed to me.” He paused to laugh and tilted his head to the side, eyes hazy with reverie. “They had a point.”

“They were assholes,” I said.

He raised his brows and glanced at me, wide-eyed. “Hm?” he asked, then laughed. “I’m having deja vu.”

“What?”

“Last time we drank together you talked like this too,” he said, chuckling. “Out of character.”

I stiffened, flushed, and turned back to the rice. “My character is very nuanced,” I said, pouting a little as I plated the food.

“Mhm,” he said, grinning as I placed the fried rice in front of him. “Thank you for cooking.”

I shrugged and joined him on one of the barstools. “It was nothing,” I said with a shrug, digging in. The two of us ate in comfortable silence for a few moments before a thought struck me. “Hey, I never knew you had a sister.”

He laughed, sipping his beer, and peered at me out the corner of his eye. “She’s a curse. I didn’t wanna risk cursing you too.”

I shoved his arm and furrowed my brow. “Don’t say that.”

With a smile, he shrugged and took another bite of food. “She’s actually really great, Hwayoung. I think I spent most of my childhood in awe of her.”

“What do you mean?”

He laughed lightly. “She’s like…a force of nature. Super strong,” he swirled his beer around in the can and hummed. “Actually, while I was being bullied she was usually the one to come to the rescue.”

“Really?” I asked. I wanted to meet the kind of person who could stand up to a group of bullies for her younger brother…

“Mhm.” He sighed. “She’s really outspoken and opinionated, and when it comes to injustice she doesn’t tolerate it. That’s probably why she naturally found her way to law.”

“She’s a lawyer?” I asked, smiling. “Like your dad.”

He scoffed. “My dad wishes he could take credit for it,” he said with a laugh. “But, no. Hwayoung isn’t a lawyer just yet. She’s studying in the US.”

“So far!” I said with a sigh. “Man, she sounds cool.”

“Don’t let all that fool you,” said Taehyung with a laugh. “She drives me crazy.”

“Well now she really sounds cool.”

He rolled his eyes, but nonetheless he was smiling. My heart settled a little. “I guess she is pretty cool,” he said, then took a sip of beer. “I wanted to live like her. Independent. Self-sustaining. The kind of person who sees injustice and fixes it.”

With a smile I took a swig. “I think you’re already that sort of person.”

“No,” he said with a sigh. “I’m still too weak. Too scared. Hwayoung was always really brave.”

“Hm,” I responded, chewing on a piece of carrot.

“Kinda reminds me of you sometimes.”

I stiffened. “Your parents said something similar at the gala,” I said.

He smiled. “I noticed it for the first time when we followed Jungkook to that club,” he said as he chewed on his rice, nodding. “You were really quick. Thought on your feet. And you were determined too. Very bold.”

“Funny…,” I remarked, thinking back with a laugh. “Seems the only time I can be bold is when I’m drunk.”

He shook his head, smiling gently at me. “No,” he said. “Lately at work I’ve seen it too.” He paused, like a thought had suddenly struck him, and he hummed a little. “I wonder if the reason I started looking after you is because I could see just a tiny bit of her in you.”

I stiffened. “What do you mean?”

He glanced at me and smiled, eyes shutting as he rested his cheek in his hand. “I mean…when you’re working you’re so capable. I think I saw that and saw how easily you were…tamed I guess. How easily you could go from this cool, confident person to someone docile and obedient. Made me worry about you.”

My cheeks felt hot to the touch and I pressed the half-empty beer can against my burning skin in the hopes of cooling it down. “I see.”

“Not that I was, like, watching you super intently! Just, you know…keeping an eye on you,” he said, then sighed and waved his hand. “Forget it.”

I was happy to. Carefully, I took a peek at his plate and noticed he was finished. I gobbled up the rest of my rice and gathered our utensils. “I’ll get going once I’m done cleaning.”

“Ah…,” said Taehyung in an exhale, and I discerned a measure of disappointment in his voice.

At the sink, I turned over my shoulder and eyed him. He watched the countertop where his hands were splayed palms-down, a sad smile on his face. Guilt traced through me. Over his shoulder, the sky was beginning to sprinkle autumn rain onto the busy streets of Seoul, navy-blue night sky extending in every direction punctured only by the city skyline.

I sighed, holding a plate and sponge in my hands, and pursed my lips. “Well…maybe I should stay a little longer. Wait out the rain,” I said with a nod, continuing to scrub. “Gotta walk to the station anyway.”

He visibly straightened up and, like some sort of kept animal, showed me his eager face. “Yeah! No, that’s a great idea.”

I smiled and nodded. “Alright then. Let’s watch a movie or something.”

I wasn’t so sure when I’d fallen asleep, but when I woke up the only light came from the moon hanging low outside the windows and the only sound was rhythmic breathing coming from somewhere beside me. As my senses returned, I glanced around the moon-drenched living room and stretched my arms above my head. I’d awoken on my side, leaning heavily on the arm of Taehyung’s large couch. It seemed Taehyung had turned off the television as the room was dark. Beside me on the couch, leaning on the opposite sofa arm, was Taehyung, glasses clinging just barely to the tip of his nose as gravity urged them downward. He looked serene, a shaft of silver light catching in his hair, and gently I scooted closer to get a good look at him.

“Stupid,” I said, sighing as he wiggled slightly in his sleep. “If you’d just rely on people more, you’d be happier.” I stood upright and padded to the hallway, searching the cabinets for a few spare blankets.

Once I found them, I returned to the living room and found Taehyung’s glasses on the floor and his mouth hanging open. Chuckling, I draped the blanket over his shoulders and involuntarily he snuggled into it. I followed suit quickly, plopping onto the couch and resting properly this time, leaning my head against one of his plush pillows.

“Y/N?”

I groaned and swatted my hand at the voice dragging me from my dreams.

“You gotta get up and check your phone.”

“Mm,” I mumbled, flailing my hand once more. But by then, I’d been awoken. Grumpy, I pried my eyes open and saw the living room bathed in morning light and Taehyung standing above me with a smile and a piece of toast in his hand.

“You awake now?”

I nodded, rubbing my eyes, and pushed myself to my feet. “Yeah,” I said, grabbing the toast he offered me and popping it in my mouth. “Why’d you wake me up?”

He chuckled and pointed to my cell phone, which he’d politely plugged in to his own wall charger. “It’s been going off for, like, an hour.”

I sniffled and nodded. “Alright,” I said, crouching beside the outlet. Taehyung laughed lightly before turning on his heel and rifling through the fridge. He pulled out a few apples. “Hey, do you have oatmeal?”

“Oatmeal?” he asked with a scoff. “What, are you eighty?”

I rolled my eyes, unlocking my phone. “Oatmeal is an excellent source of fiber and in the colder months it helps…,” I began, but my sentence trailed into silence as I registered what was on my phone.

Six missed calls from Jungkook.

Ten texts.

Heart racing, I rushed to my messages and opened the app. Could there be an emergency? Had something happened at the HQ? Was my cover blown before I could even do any digging?

Coconut: hey, u got plans today?

Coconut: should probably get a jump on ur…’investigation’ ;)

Coconut: shit, probably shouldn’t say stuff like that when Jin could check my phone…

Coconut: just kidding. hehe.

Coconut: are you not awake yet? it’s almost eleven…

Coconut: Y/N…are you at Taehyung’s house? I just saw an article.

Coconut: If you’re seeing him, then just be honest with me. I don’t want to be strung along…

Coconut: Although you have every right to punish me after what I did to you…

Coconut: Fuck.

Coconut: Please respond…

I chewed on my lip and drafted a response, but Taehyung was quick to come back and check on me once he sensed the shift in my mood. “Hey, you okay?” he asked, crouching beside me and wrapping a warm arm around my shoulders.

I stiffened and pressed the phone to my chest. If I told him everything now, he’d only scold me and demand I stop. His eyes went round and he scanned me, surprised. “Yeah! It was my dad,” I said, shaking my head. “Ah, anyway, oatmeal?”

His expression softened and he laughed, ruffling my hair. “Don’t have it,” he said, standing to his feet and wandering back to the kitchen. “I’m not a grandpa.”

I glanced back down at my phone and typed as quickly as I could.

Y/N: HQ in an hour. Will explain then.

I rushed up to the building, still wearing the leisure clothes I’d worn to Taehyung’s house, heart racing. Why did I run when Jungkook called? Was I truly going to fall for this idiot all over again? As I approached the metal front doors, I glanced around and paused for a moment, staring at its massive brick facade. While I was here, I might as well case the joint since I didn’t have the chance last time. If I could find a way into that basement, perhaps I could find documents that implicated Seokjin. Of course, it would be difficult. I didn’t expect finding evidence to be simple.

But as I wandered down the alleyway in search of any alternate way in, I really didn’t expect things to be quite so hard. There was nothing on the left side of the building or around the back. No stairs leading down to the basement, no window to crawl into and sneak around. I’d have to find another way in, or perhaps find another means of gathering intel. I sighed as I rounded the corner, snuggled between two stout buildings, to the alleyway on the right side of the warehouse. But as my feet collided with the cracked concrete, I paused a moment and lingered behind a rusting dumpster, a voice carrying loudly through the narrow passage right to me.

“No…”

Someone was on the phone. I pressed my hands against the cool metal and pressed myself close, eager to hear more. Peering cautiously around the side of the dumpster, I saw a figure at the mouth of the alleyway, arms crossed, pacing back and forth. On the shorter side with a slim build, the figure’s body language screamed frustration. As they turned around, I quickly hid once more, clinging to the lip of the dumpster

“I’m not going to entertain this conversation any longer,” said the voice, terse.

And in an instant I recognized who was speaking. I inched up on my toes to check once more, just to be absolutely certain, and saw that indeed my hypothesis was correct. Min Yoongi stood just couple yards away from me, eyes on his sneakers, wandering in imperfect circles around the front of the skinny alleyway.

I stiffened and fell back down behind the dumpster, clinging to shadow. Who was he on the phone with? And why did he sound so irritated? I’d never heard him speak so stiffly before, but I’d also never heard him sound so firm.

If I was on the other end of that call, I’d be scared as hell.

He sighed. “Listen, you tell the CEO that if he wants to talk to me he can do it himself, got it?” he said, but even though it was framed as a question, I knew it was an order.

I swallowed hard and tried to still my pounding heart with a pat to my chest. What sort of business did a CEO have with a criminal hacker? The information was intriguing and tantalizing, and something in me told me to listen very, very closely to what he said next. I wished I’d had the wherewithal to grab my phone from my purse before rounding the corner so I could record it.

Huh. Well, that wasn’t such a bad idea to gather evidence on Seokjin, was it?

“Just because we’re working together doesn’t mean we have a relationship now,” said Yoongi with a scoff. “Tell your boss not to get ahead of himself.”

What a commanding presence. I felt myself grow smaller with each passing word, crouching down lower and lower.

“I’m hanging up,” said Yoongi with a sigh, but instead of walking out of the alleyway, he lingered, not moving a single foot. Was he perhaps bluffing? Seeing how far he could push this person on the other line? “Well, that’s not much of a bargain to me. What do I gain?” He was quiet for a moment before laughing, a sharp, dangerous, sarcastic sound. “Are you kidding me? I make more in three months than I would in a year with your company.”

Was Yoongi being recruited? I furrowed my brow and tried to listen closer.

“Whatever. I’ve got my own business to take care of,” he began, then chuckled. “And remember to tell him what I said, alright?” There was a cocky edge to his voice, but also a small measure of appeal. Like he really wanted this boss to know what he said.

I sighed, rubbing my chilly hands together and preparing to leave as the conversation seemed to have ended. I wiped my palms on my pants and stood upright, still concealed by the dumpster.

But as I turned to leave, I heard Yoongi say one final thing and the words stung my ears like a cold blast of autumn wind.

“And if you have business with me in the future, go through Bangtan, Younghoon.”

I clamped a hand over my mouth to stifle my gasp and felt my eyes go wide as I crouched once more behind the dumpster. I shook my head and listened as Yoongi chuckled, fabric scuffed against itself, and footsteps sounded, growing more and more distant.

Younghoon…

That guy from Sanyo Industries…

Dazed, I entered the warehouse. Sitting at the same table Yoongi had dragged in front of me while I was kidnapped, Jimin sat playing cards with Hoseok. All around, sketchy characters milled about, mostly men, giving me eyes that I knew were up to no good. Feeling uncomfortable, I pulled out a chair beside Jimin and sat down quickly.

He jumped a little at my sudden entrance, but quickly broke into an ear-splitting smile. “Hey!” he exclaimed, pointing at me.

Hoseok wore a matching grin. “Whoa, you’re really back, huh?” he asked, chuckling. “You a glutton for suffering or what?”

I smiled a little, the shock of what I’d heard slowly fleeing my system, and adjusted Jimin’s dark bucket hat just slightly. “You two are the only good people here, I swear,” I mumbled as I fussed with his hat.

Jimin giggled and swatted my hands away. “Don’t baby me!” he said, lifting his head to scowl at me. “I’m a grown man.”

“And we’re not the only good ones,” added Hoseok as he touched his face-down pile of cards with the tip of his finger. “Jungkook’s here too.”

I sighed, resting my chin in my hand, and eyed their game. Hoseok seemed to have more cards than Jimin, and neither of them were reviewing their hands. “What’re you playing?” I asked.

“War,” said Jimin with a smirk. “Wanna moderate?”

I smiled. “I’ve only played once when I was in middle school,” I said with a shake of my head. “I’ll watch for a while though.”

Jimin shrugged and the two of them locked eyes. “One,” he began, grabbing the first card on his deck, “two,” he continued, neither breaking eye contact, “three!”

On three the two both threw down their cards. Jimin’s card: six of spades. Hoseok’s: ace of hearts. Hoseok laughed and collected both cards, placing them on the bottom of his pile, and laughed as Jimin gaped at him.

“Didn’t you just have another ace?!” he shouted, pointing at Hoseok with an accusing pointer finger.

“I’m just lucky,” said Hoseok with a smug grin.

Jimin scoffed. “You rigged it!”

“How do you rig war?”

“I dunno! But you did!”

I laughed as the two descended into bickering. Before I could settle into my seat, I felt something tall looming over me from behind, blocking out sunlight, and turned quickly to see Jungkook staring down at me with a pout on his lips and his arms crossed.

He said I had every right to punish him, and yet still reacted this way to being ignored for a few hours?

It would’ve been cute if we were actually dating…

“Hey,” I said with a soft smile.

He cocked a brow, disbelieving, and worked his jaw in circles. “Hey…that’s it?”

I chuckled. “Yep.”

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Look, I know you’re still mad about everything, but-,”

My eyes went wide. He was about to say too much. If anyone here knew we were getting closer, they’d get suspicious and I wouldn’t be able to use him as a resource any longer. I stood upright and placed my hands on his shoulders, wheeling him around to the back of the warehouse, behind the partition where nobody went.

“Sorry guys! I’ll watch more next time!” I called over my shoulder at the boys with a wave.

Jimin returned it, albeit somewhat hesitantly, and Hoseok simply laughed.

Soon, Jungkook and I were alone, back in that cramped back space where I’d spent an evening tied up. I glanced at the patch of brick that I’d leaned against and scowled, remembering the strike that Seokjin had blown. Somehow, the blow to my pride was more painful. Served me right for expecting anybody not to be horrible.

I glanced up at Jungkook and found him staring right into my eyes, not once wavering. “I have an update,” I said, mindful to keep my voice near a whisper.

Jungkook’s expression didn’t change. “Mm,” was all he said.

I cleared my throat. “I can’t get into the basement alone to snoop around, so maybe I can get a recording instead.”

“Is that all our relationship is to you? A way to get revenge?” he asked, voice too loud.

I stiffened and placed my hand against his lips. I felt his hot skin beneath my fingertips and shook my head. “Don’t say that stuff so loud.”

He shook my hand off and furrowed his brow. “Look, I know I said I’d let you do what you want, but I’m starting to feel like a pawn here.”

I smirked. “Not a good feeling, huh?” I asked.

His brows raised and he opened his mouth to protest, but could only manage a sigh. Some of his anger left on his breath and he lifted his head with a softer expression. He pushed his hair from his forehead and averted his eyes.

“You’re right,” he said, then set his lips thin. “Sorry for getting out of line.”

I wrung my hands, suddenly overcome with guilt over such a sad face, and sighed. “It’s not, by the way,” I began, looking at the ground. “Our relationship isn’t just a way to get revenge.”

He was quiet, soft, and almost frightened, he reached out and took my hand, lacing our fingers. “I’m really sorry for getting so annoyed. I just…I dunno, I guess this is what I’m like when I like someone.”

I met his eyes. “Obnoxious?” I asked, raising my brows.

He flushed and glanced away. “Um…I meant jealous, but…”

I chuckled and smoothed my thumb against the top of his hand. “It’s fine,” I said, then sighed. “I mean, it’s not. Being jealous in a relationship isn’t healthy. But…I guess I was pretty jealous too when I saw you with that girl.”

He stiffened. “Wait, did you just imply that we’re in a relationship?”

I swallowed hard. “Oh, uh, no. When did I do that?” I asked, scratching my arm with a laugh. “Ah, anyway! I was at Taehyung’s, but it wasn’t anything like you’re thinking. He’s just having a hard time since he went public. He really valued his anonymity, so…”

Jungkook furrowed his brow, adopted a pensive look, and took my other hand. “You’re avoiding the question.”

I blinked up at him, unable to look away from the warmth of his deep brown eyes. Since when were they so tender? His eyes scanned my face, hopping around from feature to feature, and there was something hidden in his gaze that made me blush. Was he always so intense?

Had he always looked at me like I was a piece of art?

“Y/N, are we in a relationship right now?” he asked softly, lips plush and beckoning.

I chewed on the inside of my cheek and dropped my gaze to my shoes. “I mean, technically yes. You’re in some sort of relationship with every person you meet-,”

“Y/N…”

I sighed. “I…I don’t think I can give you that, Jungkook,” I said at last after some moments of silence. “The kind of relationship you want…I’m not sure I’m ready for that right now.”

“But later?” he asked.

My whole face was burning hot, the skin he touched with his fingers stinging like fire. I inhaled, but all I smelled was his sweet cologne. “L-Later…,” I said, voice weak, with a single nod.

He exhaled, almost like relief, and nodded his head. “Okay,” he said with a laugh. “I can work with later.”

I met his eyes again and found him staring right into mine, gentle and soft, gazing at me with nothing but admiration. “Are you sure? Don’t you want someone who can give you now?”

He smiled and shook his head, leaning down close to me. So close I could feel his breath tickling my cheek. “I want you.”

My whole body was alight with energy, my nerves jittering, my pulse racing, my heart beating like a jackhammer in my ears. “Ah…,” I breathed, and perhaps I thought that was a sentence but it wasn’t.

He leaned just a little bit closer. “Is…is this alright?” he asked, eyes still locked on mine as his fingers locked on the tops of my hands, a loose tether. I swallowed my uncertainty and nodded my head. “Okay,” he said softly.

He tipped his head just slightly, just enough to let our lips brush. It might have ended there, chaste, had I not inched up on my toes to keep him close. His lips were pillowy soft, moving slowly and without urgency, but carrying a hot passion that I recognized from that night at my dad’s house. Slowly, his arms snaked around my waist and mine around his neck. Our bodies were flush, and as he tilted his head to the side to deepen the kiss I let him, holding onto him just as tightly as he held onto me.

135 notes · View notes

clearpeanutcollector · 3 years

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Bets College Homework Mac App

College isn't all fun and games (unless you want it to be.) Don't sweat it, though. Take a look at these 25 apps — they'll give you a smoother college experience by helping you study smarter, connect with new people and wake up in time for your early lectures.

Jul 06, 2020 BET+ is a premium online streaming service with over 1,000 hours of your favorite Black content from the best Black creators. Now, you can stream Black culture: the movies you remember, the TV shows you love and the new series you can't live without. And they're all in one place, commercial free. Everything from classics like Martin and House of Payne to modern favorites like Bigger and Carl. The best part about this app is that the students can opt for one-on-one interaction with a tutor and clear their doubts instantly. Download: iOS. Student Agenda. This homework app offers a free planner and diary that is designed by the students for an uncluttered usage.

Your university probably has its own app, too — download it. It will provide you with a more tailored breakdown than a national application.

See also: 12 Things Students Should Never Do on Social Media

Any helpful ones we missed? Let us know in the comments!

1. BenchPrep

Image: BenchPrep

BenchPrep is an interactive course library with all the graduate and professional exam study material you can handle. It includes hundreds of practice questions, flashcards, in-app purchases and almost 600 study lessons. Go ahead and pick your poison: LSAT, MCAT, GMAT.

Available for free on iOS and Android devices.

2. iStudiez Pro

Image: iStudentPro

iStudiezPro keeps track of your deadlines, grades and more across all Mac devices — all you need to do is plug your class schedule into the app. It comes with both Cloud syncing and iCal integration.

Bets College Homework Mac Application

Available for $2.99 for iOS. The free iStudiez Lite version limits the number of classes you manage, but it's useful nonetheless.

3. Evernote

You've probably heard a lot about Evernote, and yes, you should try it. What have you got to lose .. your homework? The app syncs all your stuff — text, audio, photo, video — to an online account, so you're always connected with resources to study.

If you're feeling overwhelmed by Evernote's many features, check out this comprehensive beginner's guide.

Available for broke college students (read: free) for iOS and Android devices. The premium version is even more useful, at $5 a month or $45 a year.

4. StudyBlue Flashcards

Flashcards are an effective way to memorize information, but making them is a headache. With StudyBlue, use text, pictures and audio to create the perfect stack of (digital) flashcards; or, search the massive database to borrow someone else's.

Bets College Homework Mac App Free

Available for iOS and Android devices.

5. RealCalc Scientific Calculator

Did your little brother steal your calculator once you finished AP physics? Use RealCalc for serious computing — it's a perfect alternative for the calculator-less.

Available for free for Android. If you need a heavy-duty upgrade, try RealCalc Plus for $3.49.

6. Engineering Professional

More than 650 chemical, civil, electrical, environmental, hydrology and mechanical formulas are updated in Engineering Pro — so don't worry about buying multiple formula apps. Save or Favorite the formulas you need most often.

Available for $11.99 for iOS.

7. EasyBib

Image: EasyBib

EasyBib generates citations in MLA, APA and Chicago style wherever you are — just scan the book's bar code or enter the title. The app also lets you easily email and export the bibliographies to yourself. Using this, you have no excuses for putting off that term paper.

Available for free for iOS and Android devices.

8. Notella

Image: Notella

Some professors drop the most important bombs when you least expect it ('Have a good spring break, everyone. Oh! One more thing: We're having an exam worth 60% of your final grade the day you get back. See ya!').

Don't miss a thing with Notesdeck. This super-fast note-taking app opens to a new note by default, lets you create custom hotkeys and syncs notes from other apps — iCloud, Evernote, Simplenote and Dropbox. You can even search within those other apps from one search bar.

Mac map mouse button app download. Feb 06, 2007 Question: Q: Mouse Button Mapping More Less. Apple Footer. This site contains user submitted content, comments and opinions and is for informational purposes only. Apple may provide or recommend responses as a possible solution based on the information provided; every potential issue may involve several factors not detailed in the conversations. May 28, 2012 ‎Joystick Mapper is an application that allows you to configure your joysticks or gamepads to simulate keyboard keys/mouse movement/mouse click/mouse scroll, so you can control any app or game using them, even the ones without built-in support. It also lets you remap the Scroll Wheel Button to some useful functions like Mission Control and it features a refined Smooth-Scrolling algorithm, which I think strikes a great balance between fluidity and control. Mac Mouse Fix is very light on system resources and it's a System Preferences Plugin so there's no status bar item. X-Mouse Button Control by Phillip Gibbons (Highresolution Enterprises) is a free application that can help you customize the functionality of your mouse buttons (set new functions to mouse buttons). Sadly, there is no version of X-Mouse Button Control for Mac available for download, but there are other tools that can help you change the.

Available for $2.99 for iOS.

9. Wolfram Alpha

From thermodynamics to baseball, the Wolfram Alpha reference app uses its supercomputing Cloud to quickly generate answers — across thousands of domains — to all your research questions.

Available for $2.99 for iOS and Android devices.

10. Dictionary.com Mobile

With more than two million definitions, synonyms and antonyms, Dictionary.com's fast and user-friendly mobile app will decode that confusing media law textbook in no time.

Available for free for iOS and Android devices.

11. Babylon

Whether you're a Spanish lit major or just looking to finish your general education requirements, Babylon provides comprehensive dictionary results and translations for dozens of languages. With pasteboard integration and access to more than 1,500 glossaries in 75 languages, you'll never struggle to find an accurate definition for your foreign language presentation again.

iBabylon is available for free for iOS; Babylon Translator is available for free for Android.

12. Jumpcut

You have better things to do than copy and paste all day. Make light work of data entry assignments with Jumpcut: copy as much text as you want, one after another, and paste using simple keystrokes.

Available for Macs only.

13. Dragon Dictation

Ever wish you could type faster? Dragon Dictation uses accurate voice recognition software to let you speak and instantly see your words in text. Dictate statuses to your social networks or pretend you're talking to someone if you're trying to write a speech — even send statuses straight to your social networks. Try this if you're in a time crunch and really need to churn out an essay; or, if you're just someone who prefers speaking over writing.

Available for free for iOS.

14. SelfControl

Image: Flickr, jonas maaloe

It's finals week. You have a huge essay to finish .. but then there's Reddit, emitting its bewitching siren call. Every. Damn. Time.

SelfControl lets you set a period of time to block certain websites or mail servers by adding them to a 'blacklist.' It's too bad if you finish your work early — restarting your computer or deleting the application won't negate the timer.

Available for free for Mac OS X.

15. Studious

Avoid interrupting class and getting on your professor's bad side with Studious. Once you input your class schedule, Studious will silence your phone during those hours.

Available for free for Android. Upgrade to Studious+ for $1.99 to bypass the ads.

16. Circle of 6

Ever feel uncomfortable when it's dark and you're in a new part of a city — or even campus? Circle of 6 won the White House's Apps Against Abuse challenge. It helps you stay safe by connecting you to six trusted contacts, whenever and wherever. Use the pre-programmed 'come and get me' message with your GPS location, or easily call national and local emergency hotlines in critical situations. It's a fast and discreet way to put your safety first.

Available for free for iOS and Android devices.

Addendum: You don't actually need six people if you want to double up on contacts.

17. Skype

Image: Skype

Hi!The last days I've noticed how every time I start Safari everything freezes (finder included) for a couple minutes. Macos bitcoin miner in mrt.app. Then I can write something in the search bar, and then it freezes another time!

Video interviews are not going away any time soon — so you might as well get a heads up now. Microsoft's Skype is a reliable way to connect with faraway family and friends via text, voice and — of course — video.

Available for free for iOS and Android devices.

18. LinkedIn

LinkedIn and all its nifty mobile features makes connections a breeze — for better or worse, college is a time of both personal and professional connections.

Available on the web, of course, but also for free for iOS and Android devices.

19. Twitter

Don't be the only person in class who isn't up-to-date with world events. Use Twitter to keep yourself in the loop in both the academic and social aspects of your life. In today's contemporary classrooms, you may even be asked to participate in class discussions via Twitter.

Available for free for iOS and Android devices.

20. Sworkit

There are a lot of things to do in college. Exercising isn't always one of them; especially when there's socializing and studying to be had. Sworkit's greatest asset is its ability to let you choose your exercise time allotment in five-minute increments — starting at, yes, the very low threshold of five minutes. Doable, right?

It also boasts an extensive list of work out routines.

Available for free for iOS and Android devices. Sworkit Pro comes with advanced features and costs $0.99 for iOS and Android.

See also: 10 YouTube Channels That Will Make You Smarter

21. Mint

Club fees. Books. Tuition. Food. College adds up — quickly. Mint is a web and mobile app that helps you keep track of your spending. Plus, it's never too early to start cultivating good credit.

Available for free for iOS and Android devices.

22. Sleep If U Can Alarm

Bets College Homework Mac Apps

Come on, you lazy bum — you're paying for these early classes, remember? Nicknamed the 'world's most annoying alarm,' Sleep If U Can gives you two options to silent the alarm: 1) Shake your phone; or 2) Physically go the place shown on your screen (see: the bathroom sink in the video) and take a picture.

Available for $1.99 for iOS and free for Android.

23. Pocket First Aid & CPR

Mashable composite, images: Pocket First Aid & CPR

While it's not the sexiest app to have at your disposable, you never know when it might come in handy. Along with clear and concise CPR instructions, Pocket First Aid and CPR contains 34 videos and 46 high-resolution illustrations.

Available for $1.99 for iOS and Android devices.

Bets College Homework Mac App Download

24. Between

Attempting the long-distance relationship course? Kudos — that's no small task. Relationship app Between can help ease the separation anxiety by letting you send messages, voicemails, memos and photos. A private timeline makes it easy to reminisce about the good old days with your significant other(s).

Available for free for iOS and Android devices.

25. TED

Image: TED

In an environment often congested with bad influences, a heavy dose of genius goes a long way. TED Talks give you instant access to the biggest thought leaders of our time.

Available for free for iOS and Android devices.

Image: Mashable, Meghan Uno

Whether you're taking the first step towards school or passing out of the college, your life can be a total mess including assignments, surprise tests, homework, examinations, attendance and so on. All you do is wake up early, go to school and come back. That becomes your routine cutting out the quality time to spend with your family and friends. How disheartening is that? With such a busy schedule and a massive number of deadlines to fulfill, it becomes quite challenging to keep track of homework or anything that has to be submitted on the next day. In such circumstances, a homework planner or organizer could be reliable to oversee and update you regarding the assignments, homework and other deadlines. Of course, it's a daunting task to look out for a suitable homework planner who can assist you with your regular tasks.

Top 5 Homework Planner Apps for College Students

Because it is a tedious job, we have come up with the best homework planner apps for students that will help them to do their tasks without any hassle:

1. School Planner

School planner is a full-scale homework planner app that is designed mainly to pay attention to students so that they are well focussed about their career. This app has a pile of features ranging from simple features to ones that you can think of. Besides your homework and timetable, school planner app assists you to keep track of your attendance. You can also add your teachers' contacts on the list, combine recorded lectures which could be beneficial during exams and add multiple planners too. Initially, it is a tedious job to use this app as you have to enter all your details in a form. In addition to your details, you must enter your teacher's details, timetable, and other college details. But once that's done, you're good to go! The app also supports backing up all the data that you feed in via Google drive, calendar, etc. This app does not fail to give you weekly reports, give reminders on the day of submission of assignments, attach snapshots to any reminders. Although the school planner offers a lot of features, it has the best performance with a beautiful framework. In case of your research paper you can use Edusson at affordable pricing.

2. Istudiez pro

Istudiez pro is yet another student-friendly homework planner app and probably the oldest app when compared to all of the mentioned apps. Like school planner, this app also offers a wide range of features including grading, attendance and subject wise organization of activities. It is way easier to set up when compared to a school planner. But the prominent feature in studies pro is that it is integrated with Google Calendar which gives you all the details like holidays, exam schedule, daily routine and so on. Not just that, it is also supported in all operating platforms like iOS, Mac, and windows. All the apps sync well and therefore you can operate this homework planner anywhere anytime on your laptop.

3. My study life

The next homework planner app for college students is My Study Life. The best thing about this app is that it has its web app which makes it unique. The web app can sync well(mostly on Android) therefore making your data accessible from any remote location using your device. Make sure that you've got a web browser installed in your device. This is a goal-oriented app and keeps reminding you about how much is completed and how much is left to achieve the goal. In addition to that, the calendar feature keeps track of all the important dates, it could be deadlines or project submission dates. The only con of my study life is that it is quite lengthy to set up. Once it is correctly done, you're all set!

4. ChalkBoard

One of the smartest homework planner app for students is a chalkboard. It is pretty quick regarding its features and subject wise allocation of teachers on the app. When you open it for the first time, it prompts you to fill the name and subjects of all your teachers along with the timetable. Cool, isn't it? Although the setup process is a tedious job, it is entirely reliable and smooth. The amazing part is you don't have to memorize your timetable as you can see the upcoming classes on the home screen. Not just that, you can also find pending assignments and other tasks on the screen making your job way too easy. Features like these make this app stand out when compared to other homework organizer apps and gives you a great overall experience. This homework planner app would have been much more superior if it had a calendar feature in it.

5. Egenda

It's quite easy to set up Egenda when compared to others. All you need to do is, add the subjects and classes that you have. Once that is done, you have the choice of adding any homework, deadline, project or test. The pending tasks can be seen in the form of cards and have to be swiped away once it's completed. The best part about this homework planner app is that it keeps you updated, could be regarding the upcoming assignments, tasks or competitions. This will help you plan ahead and complete the job on time. Unfortunately, the app doesn't have a timetable feature. But in its latest update, you will find a calendar that can assist you in keeping track of dates. Backup option not available in this app, therefore data can't be recovered once you lose it.

Final Words

So these were some of the coolest homework planner apps exclusively for career-oriented students who want their tasks to be completed on time and who do not wish to struggle till the last minute to meet the goal. We genuinely understand your problem and these apps are going to be of great use to you!

0 notes

celestialnocturnes · 3 years

Text

A Typical Monday in March

Mondays always meant one thing: commuting back to my dorm and getting ready to battle another week of heavy workloads. I usually take the ride on afternoons, but that day I woke up early to catch the Fairview bus. The afternoon that was to come would be a busy one: online exam in Linguistics, org dp shoot, and review for my upcoming long exam in Microeconomics. Was I ready? No, but I just had to get through the day.

The moment I got off the bus, I knew that I had to satisfy my hungry stomach although it was only 20 minutes before the exam would start. I was on a strict budget that week so I used my mobile app coupon to purchase a Big Mac. I wanted to have something that I could eat while taking the exams, plus I couldn't afford to be wasting any more time. In fact, I was giddy to take that Linguistics exam. I've spent a week working on phonetics, phonemics, IPA transcription, and history. The confidence I exuded was unparalleled not only because of how ready I was, but also because I loved studying for it. For a college student who was placed in the wrong course, that feeling was everything.

To my frustration, that Big Mac took longer to prepare than I expected. By the time I took the tricycle to my dorm, the exam was to start in 5 minutes. I got off the corner of Salvador street and had to face the scorching heat and the uphill path to my dorm. It almost felt like a punishment because I was carrying a heavy bag that was too much for my petite figure. The sight of the rusty green gate of a three-storey peach building brought me comfort. I headed straight to my upper bunk and laid down, albeit for a short while because the exam has already been sent to our emails and I had to start working on it. I felt immense exhaustion and thought that a little caffeine boost would help, so I opened my Foodpanda app and ordered the coffee recommendation from a friend.

While waiting, I began skimming through the exam. Quite manageable, but I was already 20 minutes late. I set up the table, or rather, the wooden chair which I used as my table. The cold touch of the floor seemed to give me a slight jolt, but it wasn't until the arrival of my coffee order that I began to work.

The first few minutes of the exam was easy, but as I went on with the items, my internal frantic screams fueled my stress. I wasn't even sure if I answered the items correctly, but the time pressure was more powerful. In the end, I managed to finish it albeit my submission was five minutes late because of my dorm's subpar internet connection.

Next order of business, org dp shoot. I looked at the mirror and a haggard face looked back at me. Naturally, I tried to make her prettier because I don't want a bad photo. This was, after all, my first DP shoot for the org that I'm applying for.

My hair was hanged loosely and I had to comb it every few minutes just to keep it straight. I was wearing a sky blue long-sleeved cropped top, a present from my friend that I remembered swearing not to wear because my high school self was utterly conservative. Huh, in her face.

To complement that cropped top was a black flowy skirt that I always enjoyed wearing because I felt so kikay in it. White shoes, of course, was the staple footwear because it was perfect for almost every outfit. In my home college, it was kind of our foot uniform. I put on some light makeup to freshen up my exhausted face and when I was quite satisfied with how I looked, I put the final touch: a pair of blue dangling earrings that I bought from a UP Fair booth. I was going for pastel blue at the time because it was the theme of the shoot.

Upon my arrival at the PAGASA Observatory (aka my favorite place on the campus), my co-apps were already there prepping. It was such a refreshing sight to see them after the stressful events that preceded. I was comfortable with these people, and I hoped that they were with me too.

There were quite big things to look forward that week: Sidewalk Astronomy and our Apps' Night. Admittedly, we weren't ready for the latter but I was positive we'd get through it! The panic was there, though.

When it was my turn to take my photo, I felt the surge of shyness dominate me. It was always like this every shoot. Suddenly, I was no longer comfortable in my own skin. My coffee prop gave something for my awkward hand to hold on to, so that was one tick off the list. I just had to figure out a proper pose. In the end, I just leaned on my good angle and hoped that my outfit and makeup would do the trick. The shot turned out to be quite satisfactory to my surprise.

After the shoot, we decided to grab something to eat. It was already nighttime by then and the pictureeque supermoon was up in the sky. Our two co-apps were nowhere to be found, but we kept on walking around the campus. I couldn't remember what specific food we were looking for. All I knew was that I enjoyed walking and talking to them, even though the stroll was to no avail because we ended up going back to the observatory with our stomachs still empty. The final resort: delivery.

Unfortunately, we weren't complete that day. It would have been a special experience to dine with all my co-apps in the observatory. Next time, I guess. After eating my dinner, I decided to cotninue my Macroeconomics probset. I knew that the observatory was a place for rest, but I really had to do it. My academics knows no boundaries, sadly.

The time has come for us to tidy up our shoot setup, so we climbed back to the moon deck. Before that, we took a group picture which was quite difficult to take because we were a lot for an incomplete bunch. It was an adorable shot, though.

Goodbyes are to come, but the day hasn't ended yet for me. I was bound to spend the night on another favorite spot: the College of Science library. I went with my two other co-apps who also studies there almost everyday. I even took an IG story of us going back to our "home."

When we found a table to settle on, we began to do our homeworks. I once again felt the internal panic because I still had to review for my Microeconomics exam which was bound to happen the day after our Apps' Night. Pretty bad timing, I must say.

To our surprise, classes were announced suspended about an hour later. Everyone in the CS lib heaved a collective sigh of relief and some were screaming out of joy. Same, guys, same. I finished off my probset just so it would be one less problem.

The day ended with us riding the e-jeep and finally going back to our dorms. It was midnight by then and I was getting kind of used to trudge the dark streets of KNL, but my heart was aggressively beating. I could have sworn I ran just to shorten my agony.

Okay, a week without classes. That should be enough time to get back on my academics. Maybe we could even prepare better for our apps night. Now, we just needed to rest for a few days.

Fool.

The weeks turned into months of isolation and struggle. It may seem like an ordinary day, but to me it felt like a new beginning that ended abruptly. My life pretty went downhill after that, and so did the country and this world. My heart aches at the fact that the end is still not clear in sight. I miss my life before all these happened.

Tomorrow, a new year is to begin, but I will keep on yearning for that typical Monday in March – the last vivid memory of a life that used to be. Alas, to be free and blissful once again.

Happy new year!

#journal entries

0 notes

wish4youff · 7 years

Text

10 ~ Ugly Betty?

Chrissie

College Dayz

“You don’t know nothing ‘bout this, Chrissie.”

The second Kingston shut his mouth, the slow sounds of Marvin Gaye’s Just To Keep You Satisfied played through the room off the TV screen shared between myself and Destiny in the Dunster House’s room on Harvard’s campus.

Dropping the colored pen on the bed beside me, I listened closely. The sound ringing a bell, but I was mixing it with a movie for some reason. Putting the textbook down, I removed the remote from his hands, drawing King out of his trance of fake loving.

“You set my soul on fire My one desire was to love you”

Kingston’s horrible job of humming caught my attention, finally helping me to put it together as the lyrics seemed even more familiar the longer the song played. I almost couldn’t believe it. I’ve never listened to the song outside of the movie.

“Baby Boy…” Shaking my head, I tossed the remote back, laughing. The soft voice of Marvin Gaye, my humming and Kingston’s filling my ears now.

From the movie, I always heard that snippet of the song. From how Juanita and Melvin go from loving and singing to one another. To, Jody who is suffering from a broken heart, a man’s ego, and pride. Not wanting to show Yvette his deal of cards. I knew the lyrics. Knew them well enough to hum along right now as Kingston stood at the foot of my bed, eyes closed, and clearly in a different world.

At this age, I’m hearing Marvin in a different light. This was no love song, this was a goodbye, my love for you has ran its course song. Regardless of years and right or wrongs; we’ve hit the end of our road. Go your way, I go mines, and let’s hope that we see the best out of this.

It was truly depressing.

“Wow.” Marvin’s voice ended soon after the words; “All we can do is, we can both try to be happy,” filling the now saddened air surrounding me. While King looked as if he was on cloud nine.

“I told you, BabyGirl. You don’t know nothing about that.”

“In this case, you may have been right.”

I watched as he turned the TV back down to mute, obviously the title caught his attention because we both had the thing on mute so I could concentrate for the rest of this paper outlining.

“It’s deeper than Jody and Evette you know?”

“Obviously, now. I didn’t realize what he was saying. That’s like the song by Donell Jones you love so damn much. My God, I could punch that man for what he said. As a child, it was groovy. My mother would sing that around the house, but now, no.”

“Why? Because he’s honest?”

“Because it heartless.”

“No, BabyGirl. Both songs are real, they are full of emotions. The truth hurts, the real is painful, and both of those men are at the point in their lives where it times to be honest with their women,”

“If a woman had just fallen out of love. She’ll be a bitch, or accused of been messing around on the man.”

“Depends on who you ask.”

“I’m asking you.” I shot back at him. My eyes locked on King as he lowered himself onto my, well our bed.

“Well, no, but let’s not lie to ourselves. Nine times out of ten y'all are bitches because you’ve hurt a man’s pride. Leaving us for another man bruises our egos. We have nothing left but a fake façade and bitter words. I don’t see you as a bitch for falling out of love, though. You’re human. Not every relationship runs a course of forever.”

“And Donell? You think that’s the way to go about things?”

“I love the song. I love it even more, because I understand it. You hate it, because you understand it.”

Those words got my attention. My mind in a jumble as I thought of what he had said. Kingston is bright, he has a 4.0 GPA since freshmen year, making all A’s on every test that sat in front of him, but most importantly, he’s strong minded and knows life like the back of his hand. Seriously. We don’t talk much about his mother, but he’s said her death is the reason why. He was forced to learn the “game” by himself and as King says best; ‘he be damned if it’s the death of me,’

“You see yourself getting married and falling out of love?” The question was intended to be a joke. King knew it, but it didn’t stop the frown forming in those brushy eyebrows.

“If I’m blessed with a marriage, she’s not leaving me. My wife is mine. For better or worse. Until death do us apart.”

“Sounds like you’ll kill your wife on the low, my friend.”

“Maybe,” He mumbled, his eyes closing as he relaxed against the purple comforter. “Or maybe she’ll have to kill me.”

Present

I don’t want to meet my soulmate. No, a soulmate? They’re meant to come and awaken a part of your soul and heart. Being awareness for issues that we don’t typically see as problems. They teach us new rules, challenge our hearts to test the times. But I want forever with someone. I’m convinced a soulmate doesn’t exist because in this generation no one is willing to even commit and fight. I want a life-long partner, someone who is there through the challenges, the hardships, the pain and disappointments. Someone who understands me. And while that someone may push me to new limits, they know me and know what I can and can’t take. I want that person. I want forever.

I don’t know where Olivia received this one-page essay on Soulmates vs Life Partners from. Maybe it was something she took the time to type up herself just to slip it to me during our lunch date early today. Regardless it’s held my attention the entire afternoon and early night. I’ve been sitting in my truck for over ten minutes. There’s nothing wrong with being fashionably late even if it’s on purpose. Most importantly I decided to pull out this paper and read it. For the second time. Half way through I knew it was a mistake. Once I reached the end, again, I regretted not hating it. I don’t believe in a “life partner”. Nonetheless, the read is good. It’s always important to know what others are thinking to give yourself the opportunity for other sources and outlets. I fixed my Pretty Plump Mac gloss as I crossed the street to Club Steakhouse of 58th. My second time in the last week. This could almost be my second job. Sitting at tables with people, just to please them. “She’s here.” The sound of a female voice caught my fixed attention as I entered the restaurant, not in for one lone second before she spoke. I was lead through to the opposite end of the restaurant the moment my strappy gold sandal heels hit the marble floors. She led me across an empty sitting area and then to the private dinner rooms in the back of the restaurant. “Mr. Vitale. Your guess has arrived." And then we were alone. I took the only available seat besides his lap. "Good evening.” His chilled voice causing goosebumps to cover my arms. I grabbed the choice of wine off the table taking an small gulp. The sweet taste making my taste buds dance encouraging the next few sips. “Drink up.” Loosening the cap he refilled my glass to the brim. “You rented this place? Damn.” I guess a hello would be more appropriate. But, eh. “No, I just waited until they were close to closing and called in a favor to the head chef. He owed me one. This was his pay back." "He owed the hitman a favor?" My voice was intentionally low. I didn’t plan on anyone, but King hearing that question. It wasn’t meant for anyone, but him. "If you’re referring to me. Then yes, he did." "I thought if someone was in debt with you they died.” “Most do." His big brown eyes hadn’t left mines since he spoke. He wasn’t slightly amused by this. "Do you like it? Your job?" He sighed, taking a sip of the brown liquid in his cup and I knew it was Hennessey. He’ll only pick up that wine bottle for himself when the liquor was starting to do its job and he wanted something else to taste. Leaning up, he put the cup back, raking his eyes over me now. He took the time to analyze the gold necklaces I wore, the off-the-shoulder drawstring crop top, and then back up to my face. "I’m going to be in New York for about another month definitely,” He wasn’t going to answer my question. “The last time we spoke, you made it clear you weren’t happy. So, I’m wondering what’s the next step. I’m going to be here, we gotta get alone." "We have to?” “Don’t you think its best, Chrissie?" Yes, but, "Do we plan on seeing each other more?" "We have a wedding to attend together. So, yes. We will be seeing more of one another. Get used to it. After the wedding, maybe not. Stop being so damn stubborn though. You came here tonight because I called and asked you to. I didn’t force you. You didn’t hesitant and you came only ten minutes late, even though you had been parked across the street for fifteen. Don’t play yourself by trying to hate me. I said I was sorry,” “And that makes it better?” “No, but I don’t know how make it better to be honest, Chris. It was fucking college. I can’t go back to being a damn teenage boy. I don’t want to revisit that time in my life. I was a fuck up then. It was bound to happen because of the situation we placed ourselves in." Maybe there was some over reacting on my behave. I could admit I am stubborn. Always have been, but Kingston is as well and that’s where I draw the line because it’s not fair. Maybe it was years ago, but that decision has fucked me up since then. I haven’t been in a committed relationship since. I haven’t allowed anyone to get too close since then. No friends, no lovers. Just myself and my sister because even when I didn’t know rather I was coming or going Liv was there. My closest friends turned their backs on me when Kingston did. There was no speaking after that. An ugly silence as the waiter came in with an plates for myself and Kingston. Every item from lobster to steak and shrimp. Served with sides of potatoes and asparagus. Kingston kindly refilled my glass to the brim and the bartender brought him another two shots of Hennessey. "You said you forgave me, Chrissie,” He sat across from me, his pointer finger circling the glass brim. “I get the feeling you lied." "I have, but……." "What? Do you even know why you’re mad still?” “Kingston,” Was I mad? Or was I hurt? I think that’s the biggest question. Going into college I had no one. Kingston came with a group of people which he knew. Of course, the New York crew knew of one another, but only because we all that one thing in common; NY. And by God’s plan we found each other in Harvard. That first semester I hung with whoever the wind blew my way and suddenly Kingston came along in a College Composition class during the last semester of our freshmen year. That’s where we meant. “Like you said, what’s the next step for us?" "I don’t know. I’m in counselling now.” The volunteered piece of information surprised me. “Why?” Somehow, my question amused him. A small laugh passing his lips. “Because I’m fucked up and its time I let someone help. See, Chrissie, our biggest issues are that we don’t even acknowledge what’s wrong with us. We just keep it bundled up inside and until something ticks us off and we blow up. That’s backwards, BabyGirl. Talk about your issues.” “I don’t have any.” “And that’s where you’re wrong, BabyGirl. When was the last time you blankly spoke about your parents?” It took a second for me, I didn’t respond because I didn’t know. Maybe years now. I try not to. “See, Chrissie, that’s where it starts. Honestly, sweetheart? I’m the least of your headaches, but I’m here now so it easy to pick me out the bunch, but Chrissie, you have to acknowledge the fact that you lost your parents. You went from home to home, all while raising yourself and your sister because if you didn’t, no one else would. With the money left behind, you put yourself through college and Olivia. You got a home for y'all to live in, a decent car for transportation. You made shit happen for the piece of family you had left. Not because you wanted to, but because you had to. That’s where you must start. Not with some fuck boy you met in college. Your parent’s death and the effect it had on you. The crazy ass aunt you had no choice, but to leave your sister with. All the childhood pain that you subsided so you could see your sister with a smile. Start with the root, Chrissie. Until then, you get ya’ ass off this sorrow trip. I’m sorry for what I’ve done. But if you wanna be happy, you have to let go of the pain and make that happen for yourself."

#j. cole ff #ff

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timalexanderdollery · 4 years

Text

Tim Cook is just letting Trump lie about Apple

Apple CEO Tim Cook talks to President Donald Trump as the president’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, looks on, at a meeting in the White House in 2017. | Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

Trump keeps saying Apple just opened a plant in Texas. The problem: The facility in question has been around since 2013.

Facebook’s Mark Zuckerberg raised eyebrows this week after a new report that he had a private dinner with President Donald Trump in October, the second closed-door meeting between the pair in a month. But Zuckerberg is hardly the only tech executive trying to curry favor with the president: Apple’s Tim Cook is doing something similar, and unlike the Facebook executive, he’s doing it out in the open.

Remember Tim Apple — the alter ego Trump created for the Apple CEO earlier this year? Well, he’s struck again. And he’s letting the president blatantly lie about the goings-on at his company in order to use Apple as a marketing tool for his presidency.

On Wednesday, Cook accompanied Trump, Treasury Secretary Steve Mnuchin, and the president’s daughter, Ivanka Trump, on a tour of a manufacturing plant in Austin, Texas. Both at the plant and after, the president suggested that the plant had just opened and that it was the result of his presidency. No one at Apple corrected him, even though it’s not at all the case: The plant, which is run by a company called Flex, has been making Mac Pro computers there since 2013.

“For me, this is a very special day,” Trump said on the factory tour, apparently indicating the plant had just opened. Cook spoke after him and didn’t clarify what was going on, instead thanking the Trump administration, particularly those in attendance. “I’m grateful for their support and pulling today off and getting us to — this far. It would not be possible without them,” he said.

You could argue that Cook wasn’t quite sure that the president was saying the plant had just opened. Also on Wednesday, Apple announced the start of construction on a new office campus in Austin, so maybe Trump was referring to that. (Also, Apple building a new campus in Texas is good!)

But later in the day, it became abundantly clear that Trump was, in fact, making up a plant opening — and Apple still isn’t saying a word about it. On Wednesday evening, Trump tweeted out a campaign video of himself with Cook at the plant and wrote that he had “opened a major Apple Manufacturing plant in Texas” that day. But it’s just not true.

https://t.co/ytr7dRvbUc pic.twitter.com/G6lGfyxSUs

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 21, 2019

It’s not new for Trump to lie; he does it a lot. But for one of the most valuable companies in the world to allow itself to be used as part of a false marketing campaign from the president of the United States is, to put it lightly, not great.

Apple did not return multiple requests for comment on the matter and Cook hasn’t commented on it publicly. He could do so easily, even from his Twitter account, which he used to tout the plant’s launch when it first started shipping back in 2013.

There is always a tweet btw: https://t.co/UOeN9sssM4

— Kara Swisher (@karaswisher) November 21, 2019

Tariffs are why Tim Cook is letting this slide from Trump

Cook isn’t letting Trump make things up about Apple because he’s polite — it’s because, business-wise, it’s advantageous for him to do it, particularly in the context of the trade war with China.

Trump has consistently pushed Apple to manufacture more of its products in the US, even though some of his policies have made it harder for them to do. As Jack Nicas at the New York Times lays out, Apple and the White House have been going back and forth for months over where the company’s new Mac Pro will be made. Apple says it needs waivers on the tariffs to make it in Texas, and Trump initially said no but eventually gave in. And so, the computers are shipping from the US, complete with an “Assembled in USA” tag.

Cook knows that’s what matters to Trump — and was sure to emphasize it on the manufacturing tour on Wednesday.

“We cannot be more proud of the product,” he said. “It’s an example of American design, American manufacturing, and American ingenuity.”

Tim Cook sometimes criticizes the White House. Other times, he looks like its chief marketing officer.

Cook and Trump have at times had an adversarial relationship, but as time has gone on, they’ve leaned into the mutually beneficial parts of their dynamic instead.

On the 2016 campaign trail, Trump called for a boycott of Apple, and he has consistently pressured it to make more of its products in the United States. After Trump was elected, Cook sent a memo to Apple employees that didn’t directly mention the president but took a clear stance against his divisiveness. Cook has criticized Trump’s immigration policies and been vocal on family separation. Apple also warned early on that Trump’s tariffs might force it to raise prices.

But whatever their differences, they haven’t kept Cook from Trump’s orbit. He’s met with the president in the White House and done public events with Ivanka Trump and the president. He sits on a workforce policy advisory board to the president.

In one meeting at the White House earlier this year, the president mistakenly referred to Cook as “Tim Apple.” It was an admittedly funny moment, and afterward, Cook played along, changing his Twitter name to Tim and the Apple logo. (He’s since changed it back.) Trump, on the other hand, lied and insisted he hadn’t made the mistake.

Trump just called Apple CEO Tim Cook “Tim Apple” pic.twitter.com/gTHHtjWvc9

— Sean O'Kane (@sokane1) March 6, 2019

Cook appears to have decided that while he might not agree with the more unsavory parts of Trump’s presidency, there’s a lot the company he runs has to gain from it.

The tax cut bill Trump signed in 2017 has been a huge windfall for Apple. It allowed the company to bring back billions of dollars in cash it had stashed abroad, save billions of dollars in taxes, and return billions of dollars in savings to its shareholders via stock buybacks. Apple has delivered public thank-yous to Trump with splashy announcements about investments in the US, which Trump name-checked during his 2018 State of the Union address. Call it some mutual free advertising.

So sure, it’s easy to be mad at Zuckerberg for having dinner with Trump (which is honestly not that big of a deal, especially in comparison to letting Trump lie in campaign ads, or, you know, having built a platform that’s being used to do enormous damage to democracy). But we shouldn’t just let Cook slide. He is at the helm of an iconic American brand in Apple, and he’s lending it to Trump, who’s using it to make false claims to boost his presidency.

from Vox - All https://ift.tt/37rxgYY

#Vox - All

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gracieyvonnehunter · 4 years

Text

Tim Cook is just letting Trump lie about Apple

Apple CEO Tim Cook talks to President Donald Trump as the president’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, looks on, at a meeting in the White House in 2017. | Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

Trump keeps saying Apple just opened a plant in Texas. The problem: The facility in question has been around since 2013.

https://t.co/ytr7dRvbUc pic.twitter.com/G6lGfyxSUs

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 21, 2019

There is always a tweet btw: https://t.co/UOeN9sssM4

— Kara Swisher (@karaswisher) November 21, 2019

Tariffs are why Tim Cook is letting this slide from Trump

Cook knows that’s what matters to Trump — and was sure to emphasize it on the manufacturing tour on Wednesday.

“We cannot be more proud of the product,” he said. “It’s an example of American design, American manufacturing, and American ingenuity.”

Tim Cook sometimes criticizes the White House. Other times, he looks like its chief marketing officer.

Cook and Trump have at times had an adversarial relationship, but as time has gone on, they’ve leaned into the mutually beneficial parts of their dynamic instead.

Trump just called Apple CEO Tim Cook “Tim Apple” pic.twitter.com/gTHHtjWvc9

— Sean O'Kane (@sokane1) March 6, 2019

Cook appears to have decided that while he might not agree with the more unsavory parts of Trump’s presidency, there’s a lot the company he runs has to gain from it.

from Vox - All https://ift.tt/37rxgYY

#Vox - All

0 notes

corneliusreignallen · 4 years

Text

Tim Cook is just letting Trump lie about Apple

Apple CEO Tim Cook talks to President Donald Trump as the president’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, looks on, at a meeting in the White House in 2017. | Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images

Trump keeps saying Apple just opened a plant in Texas. The problem: The facility in question has been around since 2013.

https://t.co/ytr7dRvbUc pic.twitter.com/G6lGfyxSUs

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) November 21, 2019

There is always a tweet btw: https://t.co/UOeN9sssM4

— Kara Swisher (@karaswisher) November 21, 2019

Tariffs are why Tim Cook is letting this slide from Trump

Cook knows that’s what matters to Trump — and was sure to emphasize it on the manufacturing tour on Wednesday.

“We cannot be more proud of the product,” he said. “It’s an example of American design, American manufacturing, and American ingenuity.”

Tim Cook sometimes criticizes the White House. Other times, he looks like its chief marketing officer.

Cook and Trump have at times had an adversarial relationship, but as time has gone on, they’ve leaned into the mutually beneficial parts of their dynamic instead.

Trump just called Apple CEO Tim Cook “Tim Apple” pic.twitter.com/gTHHtjWvc9

— Sean O'Kane (@sokane1) March 6, 2019

Cook appears to have decided that while he might not agree with the more unsavory parts of Trump’s presidency, there’s a lot the company he runs has to gain from it.

from Vox - All https://ift.tt/37rxgYY

#Vox - All

0 notes

lets-imagine-fanfics · 7 years

Text

Mi6 Agent [MacGyver]

Pairing: MacGyver x Female!Reader Words: 2.2K Warnings: Violence; Implied Smut. Synopsis: Mac gets a blast from the past when he gets given the same mission as his ex.

Mac sat in the room listening to his boss as she briefed the team on the newest mission, as he listened his hands fiddled with yet another paperclip.

The mission already seemed straight forward with the complicated twist that always seemed to turn up. Mac thought to himself that he can usually get everyone out, he is the brains, Jack is the Brawns, and Riley... well Riley is the computer brain if there was one. Their team was complete so whenever they had to add an extra person to help out the team became unbalanced so when Director Thornton said "Mi6 is sending someone over" Jack and Mac both groaned, bringing new people from different organisations meant more rules to follow and since the Phoenix foundation and Mi6 were at the same level of command the guys predicted a lot of butting of heads.

"I know that there would be a lot of extra rules to follow" Director Thornton explained mainly for Riley's sake. "but... the agent could be extremely useful to the team"

"Doubt it" Jack mumbled

"Otherwise" Director Thornton continued with a slight glare, "they wouldn't have sent them."

"Why do we need an added head to the team? We are pretty complete"

Mac droned out the rest of the chatting, focusing on ways in and ways out of the building. He knew that the new "team member" would be waiting for them in Italy for the mission so he decided that it is too late to bother with trying to change Director Thornton's mind about it. Which is exactly what Director Thornton was trying to explain to Jack right now.

IN ITALY

The Team waited at the meeting place long enough to realise something had gone wrong. The Mi6 agent was supposed to meet them a half an hour ago. Agents are known to be on time since a lot of them are from the military, so the team knew something was wrong.

However they didn't have time to do anything when they were ambushed. Armies of men surrounded the team, all pointing guns at them. The men had collected the team and shoved them into a truck where they were still outnumbered as there sat several armed men.

Mac had planned different ways of escaping but each way ended with either him or one of his team members returning to America in a body bag. He and Jack both shared a look, meaning Jack had come up with the same solution of going along with it until they can find an weak link and use it to escape.

There had been no weak links all the way from where they were captured to now when they are being escorted into a warehouse. The warehouse was dimly lit with an ugly, dull yellow glow from a floor to ceiling chandelier which was randomly placed in the attic of the warehouse. The team was tied up against the pipes running around the building. In the center of the room there was a large hole with pulleys and wires to pull up cargo boxes. As well as half a dozen armed men in suits and an older, stouter man with a round belly, there was a woman tied to a wooden chair placed in front of the cargo hole. The stout man, seemed to be in charge of this operation, was leaning closer to the woman as he asked her questions.

Mac tried to wriggle himself free as they listened in to the questioning. The team hadn't spoken up until the stout man walked away and another man stepped up to the woman, who was still tied up, and grabbed her jaw about to pull out her teeth.

"oh God I can't watch this" Riley whispered the boys. Luckily, she didn't have to. A phone ringing echoed through the warehouse. The stout man looked back at the man with the ringing phone as he answered it. They man suddenly passed the phone to his boss, who in turn passed it to the tied up woman.

"Are you kidding, I was told we were meeting tomorrow, I'm working" The tied woman whispered into the phone, but with the airy space of the warehouse her voice had echoed causing Mac and his team to be able to overhear her words. "I am in the middle of an interrogation, this moron is giving me everything" She spoke up, staring at her interrogator.

The stout man spoke up, talking to his men. "I didn't give her everything" causing the woman to give him a look.

[A/N: OK, so I maybe I used the Black Widow fight scene from Avengers Assemble]

"Look, you can't pull me out of this right now." Mac knew the person on the other end of the phone said something important since the woman became very serious. "Let me put you on hold."

The woman gestured to the stout man to take the phone off her. When the man stepped forward to reach for the phone the woman kicked him the knee causing him to fall forward, as he went down she head-butted him and stood up as the henchmen started to walk towards her.

The woman, still tied to the chair, kicked and dodged, managing to knock out a few men. She back flipped and landed on the her back smashing the chair. Just before she could stand up she was attacked from behind as the man wrapped his arms around her. With a grunt she bent his arm back, snapping it at the elbow and hitting him with remnants of the chair she still held into his gut.

As the man crouched protecting his gut, she jumped and kicked his chest causing him to fall back slightly as she again landed on her back, she jumped back up again and ran up to the man before jumping and wrapping her legs around his neck, strangling him as she twisted and twirled before perfectly landing whilst watching the man fall to the ground, unconscious.

The team all stare at the woman who has single-handedly taken out a whole group of grown men. They continue to stare as she grabs the stout man's leg and wraps a chain around it before pushing him off the ledge and letting him hang by his leg into the three story drop.

The woman picks up the phone and her shoes as she talks on the phone. "Yeah, I think the team was brought in, I'll talk to you later." With that she shuts off the phone and throws into the shipping hole she had just thrown the stout man into and hears a smashing sound as it shatters at the ground floor.

The woman walks over to the team, finally facing the group. Mac can finally see the woman's face properly now. "Y/N?"

"Mac?" She answers with her own question. "what are you doing here?"

"Mac, you know her?" Riley pipes up, discomfort from hanging off the pipes is clear on her face. Y/N looks at Riley as she carts her fingers through her hair pulling out two bobby pins, Y/N holds them up before handing one to Mac.

"You can still get out of a set of handcuffs right, Mac?" Y/N asks teasingly and flirtatiously as she hands one of the bobby pins over to Mac. She then works her own bobby pin into Riley's handcuffs and quickly picking the lock. Then she moves to Jack but Mac had already picked his own handcuffs and started to work on his friends as they shared looks with each other, Jack smirking knowingly.

Y/N and Mac met when they were in the first year of MIT. The pair were in the same classes and had paired up a number of times, much to their displeasure at having to work in teams. The pair soon became friends after finding an attraction in one another, both thinking they were to nerdy to ever be thought of attractive by the other decided they would much rather be friends.

That soon changed however, when they both were dragged to a New Year's Eve party for the students who stayed on campus, and the pair found their friends run off to dance or get drinks and they spotted each other from across the room, cliché I know. The pair spent the rest of the night chatting until everyone started to countdown from 10, which when it became awkward because the pair knew that a kiss normally happens at the end of the countdown but neither wanted to ruin a friendship that had just recently been created. Once it hit midnight and everyone was kissing and cheering the pair stood awkwardly. Until Y/N decided to take matters into her own hands and, due to her slightly drunken state, crashed her lips into Mac's.

After that kiss the pair started to date, it wasn't until the third month of dating that Angus decided that Y/N wasn't actually joking about wanting to date him, and he decided to make it official and asked her to be his girlfriend.

After the second year of MIT Angus quit and joined the military as a bomb disposal expert, much to Y/N's distaste at the fact Angus would be in so much danger. The couple carried on dating and they wrote letters to each other every week, ringing each other whenever they could. Whenever Angus was of duty so to speak, he would live with Y/N. Whilst Y/N was finishing her final year at MIT she was spotted by Mi6 and recruited.

Overall the pair dated for over four years. When Y/N told Angus that she had a new job in London he felt a mixture of pride, knowing she must have worked extremely hard to get recruited by a large company in London, and sadness knowing that they would see less and less of each other, which is what happened. Slowly the letters and phone calls became less and less.

One final visit from Angus came late in July. He showed up at her door and they spent one last weekend together. They did the usual, wanting to remember their relationship for what it was and so decided to end it as it was, which was comfort in each other as they cuddled on the couch watching old films. They spent one last night together before Angus left in the early morning to get back to base. The break up was completely mutual and although the pair was sad for their ending relationship and having to find home as somewhere else than each other, they felt happy for each other for what they had accomplished.

The team managed to escape the warehouse and bring in backup, as their mission was to find the building where an ex general (The stout, old man) was building bombs.

As they stood around waiting for the Italian police to arrest the ex general and his posse Riley and Jack stood away from the couple to let them catch up. "So you're Mi6? That was your job in London" Mac asked already knowing the answer.

"Yeah, they recruited me straight out of MIT. What about you, what happened to bomb disarming?" Y/N asked curiously.

"I did it for three years... got recruited at the Phoenix Foundation". Mac replied making small talk.

"well congrats, you worked hard" Y/N spoke with sincerity and also sadness, having no clue of what to say to someone she once knew so well, to someone she once considered her best friend, her home, her soulmate (if she were ever to believe in such things). "I guess this is it. The mission is done"

"Yeah, I guess, you'll go back to England. I'll go back to California..." Mac trailed off. Y/N only nodded in response as the conversation fizzled out as her motorbike got brought around to the group. She smiled at the person who brought the bike.

Y/N said her goodbyes to Riley and Jack in a simple hug and then she turned to Mac. Their hug was one that seemed so familiar and so odd at the same time, there was that same attraction and that same sexual tension that builds up at their touch.

"Next time you're in London, look me up" Y/N almost demands as she pulls away.

"I will...Next time you're in Cali, you look me up" Mac replies, holding her arms as if he was trying keep the hug going for as long as he can, to keep touching her as long as he can. Y/N pulls away to leave and starts to walk to her bike before turning around.

"I mean, we could have our weekend... in Italy" Y/N smiles innocently but with a hint of mischief. Mac could feel a grin growing on his lips. He doesn't say anything, just looks at Jack sending him a look as if to say 'don't wait up' before he walks up to the bike.

Jack and Riley watch as Y/N drives away with Mac on the back before giving each other knowing smirks.

#LIFics #MacGyver x reader #MacGyver x female reader #MacGyver one shot #Angus MacGyver x reader #Angus MacGyver x female reader #Angus MacGyver one shot #female!reader #Angus MacGyver x female!reader #MacGyver x female!reader

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stereksummerexchange · 7 years

Text

Dancing In My Storm

@neaislove | AO3

by @bellamy-hale

Teen and Up - Graphic Depictions Of Violence Rape/Non-Con

“Get up loser, I can smell your sadness from outside,” said Erica with no room for Stiles complaints or whining.

“I don’t want to,” he complained petulantly anyways. They had a stare off for all of thirty seconds before Erica was rolling her eyes and pulling out a greasy burger bag from her purse. Narrowing his eyes, Stiles inspected the bag warily before reaching forward for it, but at the last second Erica pulled it out of his reach.

“Come with me Stilinski, or no fries,” her voice was thick with mischief as she twirled and sauntered away with a clacking of her heels.

Stiles considered ignoring her, curly fries be damned, but under better judgement decided to gathering his belongings and follow after the fierce blonde.

Stiles’ breathing was ragged as he scrambled closer to the wall. His jeans were torn and his shirt tattered. What remained of his shirt was splattered with his own blood mixed with alpha and beta spunk. His lips were kiss-swollen and bloody, causing every shaky intake to be accompanied by a stinging pain from the split in his lip.

The two figures walked away drunkenly as the abused omega puked up whatever was left in his stomach. He couldn’t move, even to attempt to wipe the filth off of himself. As the seconds passed, the alley grew colder and even more miserable than before.

“I told you he’d be good, bro.”

“What omega isn’t?”

Stiles felt his stomach churn again, and he couldn’t move fast enough to avoid vomiting on himself. It took nearly three hours before he could finally move. His legs were sore, and the pang that shot up his back caused tears to cascade down his face. Getting to his car was one of the most awful walks he’d ever had to endure. He vaguely registered the sound of his Jeep revving to life as he swerved out of the parking lot. Once he arrived at the apartment, Stiles felt numb as he sat motionless in his car for god knew how long. It was a blur as his feet carried him up the stairs and into his lonely apartment. As usual, he dropped his keys on the counter and his bag onto the ground with a hard thud. His eyes brimmed with more tears and Stiles let them fall freely as he tried to make himself feel safe in the wave of his own scent.

He stood in the shower for a long time, not moving until he had to. He felt like an abandoned building just after a tsunami. As the water cascaded down his spine, all of his escaped thoughts from earlier seemed to make their appearance at once. His sobs became hysterical as he crumbled to the wet ground. His shower lasted until his hands were wrinkled and his skin beet red from the scalding hot water. The entire bathroom was steamed, allowing him to avoid seeing his reflection in the mirror.

It was a quarter past three when he sat on the cold plastic chair of the health room. Pamphlets and brochures about safe sex and the ‘glory’ of a mating bond and knotting surrounded him, taunting him. Every picture had a happy couple smiling at one another, their arms wrapped around one another lovingly. Stiles stared disdainfully until impulse took over, causing him to rip up a pamphlet and crumbled it.

“Dr. Hemington will see you now,” the receptionist was clipped when she spoke, eying Stiles judgmentally from beneath heavily painted eyelids

Where he would ordinarily feel the urge to snark back, he found he didn’t have the energy now. Nodding curtly, he ducked his head as he scurried to the exam room, throwing the pamphlet away as he went. The doctor greeted him cheerfully despite how early it was. His bright smile caused Stiles’ hands to begin twitching spasmodically. Their staredown lasted until Stiles finally looked away, shamefully submitting in defeat.

“Mr-…Mi…My-”

“Stiles, ’s okay.”

The man set his clipboard down for a second to glance at Stiles. The man took in his fidgety hands and rapidly tapping foot. Lifting the clipboard up once again, the doctor studied over the charts on his clipboard. “Alright, Stiles, why are we here today?”

“I, uh…I think, I think something happened to me.”

“You think?”

“No, I know, I just…it’s hard to..to, uh, reflect on, that’s all.”

“Can you tell me what this something is?”

Stiles paused for a long time, just breathing. His heart was pounding and if the doctor was an alpha or another omega instead of a beta, Stiles was sure he could have heard it from miles away. Swallowing hard, he folded his hands in his lap to try and gather his thoughts instead of just letting his hands fidget around aimlessly.

“It just happened and, uh. I…two guy ra-…they- I mean…” Stiles had to clear his throat once again before he could continue, “They forced me into sex.”

“Before, you said you think,” said Hemington, not even bothering to look at his clipboard.

“Yeah, because my brain wasn’t computing a few seconds ago. My words got mixed up, and I just said the safest thing that-”

“Is it possible that your words got mixed up at the time of the event?”

“Event?”

“Were you at a party tonight?”

“No, I was at the bar, but I don’t see how-”

“So you were drinking then?”

“Yeah, but I only had half a-”

“Do you remember what these guys looked like? Any significant traits they possessed that could identify them?” Hemington said as he finally picked up his clipboard.

“They both had Alpha Beta Pi jackets on.”

Dr. Hemington slowly rested the clipboard back on the table as he gave Stiles the most sympathetic look he’d ever received. The man launched into a well rehearsed speech about how he shouldn’t feel ashamed, or make up lies about what he wanted at the time. How it was okay to explore his sexuality in various ways, including three-ways if that’s what he wanted. Stiles felt repulsed and almost like he was going to vomit again. It wasn’t what he wanted, he had said no, and he repeated his story with as much vehemence as he could manage, but the doctor circled the conversation back to pheromones or chemosignals, any number of things that must have declared otherwise that might have slipped out by accident.

“I said no!” Stiles exclaimed with a mixture of anger and disgust in his voice.

“And I believe you…but do you?” asked the doctor with that same sympathetic look on his face. “I’m…not saying that you’re making this up, but even if we did track these two boys down by scent, it would be two Alpha Beta Pi boys’ words against your own.”

Stiles was shocked into silence for the first time in his twenty-one years of life. He sat almost catatonically as Dr. Hemington listed all of the ‘reasonable’ options he could pursue. The man suggested group therapy or one-on-one counseling twice a week with Mrs. Collins, instead of going to the authorities with a not-so-solid case on his hands.

The doctors prescribed Stiles with birth control pills and a plan B pill for his ‘just in case’ moments.

Stiles left the building feeling even more defeated than when he walked in.

****

TWO AND A HALF YEARS LATER

Holding the strap to his backpack tightly, Stiles ducked his head as he made his way through the dorm hall. A few people waved to him or attempted to talk, but he ignored them as he rushed to his room. A few freshman sat in the halls with lax, dopey smiles, surrounded by books as they squabbled over something that was most likely not homework-related. Stiles watched them for a few seconds before remembering that he had his own homework due for his criminology class. As his mind drifted from essays to criminal behavior, Stiles’ expression turned tense as he remembered the scumbag of the night. Last night had been easy.

It was probably one of the easiest nights he’d had in a long time, hell, he didn’t even have to use his blade this time. Aaron Schmidt, alpha, resident asshole, and captain of the men’s volleyball team. He had date raped Alicia McConahay last Tuesday and bragged about it to his frat bros. Naturally, word had gotten out that Alicia was an easy omega, causing her once peaceful life on campus to spiral, as most of the male population on campus began to forcefully proposition here.

His shoulders slumped in relief once he entered his room, losing the tension he always carried with him these days. He had transferred dorms almost a year ago to get a new start with his life, and this new life just so happened to include his new roommate, Danny Mahealani.

“You’re home late,” noted the other omega casually, not even glancing at Stiles as he scanned over the three laptops that decorated his desk. “I take it he was easy?”

Danny knew all about his wannabe vigilante antics. It’d been easier this way. Especially because Danny knew a bit more about hacking into databases than Stiles did. Don’t get him wrong, Stiles was amazing at research and bugging mainframes, but Danny was on a whole new level when it came to hijacking surveillance systems and hacking into douchebags’ Twitter and Facebook accounts. Besides, it had been getting kind of hard to explain why he was out so late and sometimes came back with cuts or bruises.

“Two broken bones and the dude is going to need a nose job ASAP. I threatened to chop his dick off and he legit shit himself. It was so gross, dude.” Stiles’ feet dragged along the floor as he acknowledged his roommate. “You’d think that a big tough guy ballsy enough to rape someone and leave them for dead could handle a little surgery on his lower bits.”

Danny snorted, halfway amused and a bit disturbed at the same time. “I’m just glad he got what he deserved. Alicia is such a sweet girl, and he really fucked her up. I heard she’s transferring to a community college next semester.”

Stiles folded his clothes and deposited his knives into a small box underneath his bed. Locking it back up, he slid it against the wall until it was out of sight. Standing, he looked over his shoulder at Danny who was packing his Mac away and taking his phone off the charger. Stiles watched him curiously for a few seconds before disappearing into the bathroom. His classes started after noon, and he didn’t have to be anywhere anyways. Turning the shitty faucet on, he stuck his hand underneath the water, waiting for it to heat up.

“You know,” said Danny, almost hesitantly, “you can…you can tell me anything, right?”

Startled by this sudden statement, Stiles looked up to see Danny leaning against the doorframe. His expression was open and filled with concern, just like all of the other times he’d tried to have this conversation with Stiles.

“Aww, come on, bro, you’re gonna make me pull out the tissue box. You know how I feel about soap opera tears,” Stiles reprimanded in an attempt to remove the weight from Danny’s words.

“Stiles, I’m being serious.”

“As serious as a heart attack.” He turned his back to the older omega while he idly turned the water from cold to hot. Through the mirror he saw Danny opening his mouth, “Danny…I’m fine. You don’t need to worry about lil’ ol’ me.”

Danny nodded slowly. “Okay…I’m going to head to class, try to get some sleep.” He lingered there for a few seconds before slowly closing the door behind himself.

Read the rest on AO3

#stereksummerexchange17 #sterek #submission #fic #sse17

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chelseajmitchell-blog · 7 years

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My Backwoods Abortion/The Scariest Day of my Life

When I was in high school I knew a girl who had an abortion at age 17. I remember thinking to myself ‘I will never do that’. What’s that saying? We make plans and God laughs? God must have been howling.

In the early fall of 2009 I was 18. I was a freshman at Reinhardt College in North Georgia, which is affiliated with the Methodist church. I was an Psychology major with plans to become a therapist (again, God laughs). I lived on campus and was still working on making friends. I had been in a committed relationship with my boyfriend for a little over a year and I was head over heels in love. We were sexually active and I was on birth control. Things were, overall, pretty good. I was struggling a little with my mental illness, but it was generally under control. And then it happened. On a clear day in September I realized I was 3 weeks late.

I called my best friend at the time in an all out panic. There’s no way, right?! I’m on birth control! So, I bought a 2 pack of pregnancy tests all while trying to convince myself that I was overreacting. I peed on the first stick and awaited the results for 5 minutes (longest 5 minutes of my life) and then I looked. 2 pink horizontal lines. I was in the doorway to my bathroom and I collapsed. I sat there in shock for a few minutes before I began sobbing. I called my best friend and took the second test while on the phone with her. Again, same result. In that moment on the dirty, cold, tile, bathroom floor I thought to myself “I can’t do this”. It was a defining moment in my life. On that beautiful fall day I went from being “pro life” to “pro choice”.

I called my boyfriend and gave him the news. He was shocked. “So, what do we do?” he asked. “I’m going to have an abortion” I responded. But first I was going to talk to the school nurse. I went to my SUPER LIBERAL RA and delivered the news. She went downstairs with me to talk to the nurse. With tears in my eyes and a shaky voice I told the nurse my dilemma. She listened to me and my decision, handed me some tissues, and then placed a little box in my hands. Inside the box was a tiny 1 inch baby on a bed of cotton balls. “This is what your baby looks like” she said. To which my RA responded “No. Her FETUS looks more like a semicolon” and then we walked out. I sobbed for a bit in my RAs room before heading back to mine.

Again, I called my best friend. She helped me find a clinic. There were only 2 options that we could find anywhere near my area and I called up the closest one, 45 minutes away. 2 hours after finding out I was pregnant I had an abortion scheduled for 3 days later. Some might view my decision as “hasty”, but I knew what was best for me. I was not emotionally, mentally, or financially stable enough to have a child. I was on life saving medications that would most likely cause serious birth defects or miscarriage. I didn’t want to drop out of college. When you know, you know. I have no regrets.

Three days later, on a murky and cool Friday, my boyfriend drove up to take me to the clinic. I signed in at the front desk. We paid up front and in cash so it wouldn’t show up on my insurance because I didn’t want my parents to know. We waited for roughly an hour before my name was called. I cannot stress this enough- it was the most terrifying experience of my life.

In the back, I was given a handful of pills to take before the procedure. I was given little explanation as to what the pills were, but MY GOD did they take effect quickly. I was then given forms to sign and, in my state, I could hardly hold the pen let alone read what was written. But, I signed them nonetheless. The nurse (or whoever the hell she was) told me to strip down and gave me one of those blue medical sheets to wrap myself in. She led me into the next room and sat me down on a red COUCH along with 3 other women. For the life of me I can’t remember what the other ladies were talking about, but I listened to them converse for 20 minutes before a different nurse ushered me into the procedure room. I was instructed to removed the sheet and lie on my back on the table. The nurse conducted an ultrasound and I can still hear her say “Do you want to see the baby”? I promptly slurred “NO!”. Moments later the doctor entered the room and the nurse put an IV in my arm. I don’t remember anything after that.

I don’t know how much time passed, but I woke up to my boyfriend rubbing my right shoulder. It was over. I was HEAVILY sedated so he had to help me put on my sweats and shoes. Upon leaving I was given a bottle of pain pills with a scrap of paper with dosage instructions. No number to call. No follow up appointment. My boyfriend more or less carried me to the car. He told me later there were protestors present. For some unknown reason I told him I wanted chicken nuggets so we drove to McDonalds. We were waiting in the drive thru line when I was overcome with pain and nausea. I opened the car door and leaned out as quickly as I could before throwing up bile for the next 10 minutes. I felt like my insides were falling out. It was completely terrifying. It is the most pain I’ve ever been in in my life and I had brain cancer as a kid so I’m no stranger to pain.

My saint of an RA let my boyfriend stay in my dorm room for the weekend (I had a private room), which was 100% unacceptable at Reinhardt. He heaved me up onto my lofted twin sized bed and I quickly fell asleep for a few hours. When I woke up I thought I was dying. I took some pain medication and then made my way to the bathroom to throw it all up. Slumped down beside the toilet, I beat my knuckles bloody against the white cinderblock wall. I was in complete agony and petrified. As I was given little information at the clinic, I did not know what to expect. But, I was sure that something had gone terribly wrong.

My boyfriend and RA took care of me while I recovered and by Monday afternoon I was myself again. I remember eating a lot of Easy Mac and chewy chocolate chip granola bars during that time. Life went back to normal and my boyfriend and I never really brought it up again. But, you remember how I said I thought something must have gone wrong? For 2 years after the abortion I refused to have a vaginal exam. I was convinced I was “broken”. Thankfully, I can tell you that I eventually did have an examination and everything is in working order.

About 2 months after my abortion that clinic was shut down due to unsafe conditions and expired licenses of both nurses and doctors. There were multiple arrests.

I tell you my story because there is a president in the White House who is trying to make abortion illegal. He wants to take away a woman's right to abortion which is considered by the UN to be a basic human right. Outlawing abortion will not stop it, but it will make it unsafe. My backwoods and unsanitary abortion will, in many ways, become a fairytale story. Do you know how abortions were preformed before Roe V Wade was passed? Women shoved coat hangers and sewing needles up their vaginas. They used bleach or turpentine douches. While it may not go back to those extremes, the procedures will not be regulated. Any random Joe who puts “Dr.” in front of his name could perform an abortion.

Our president wants to defund Planned Parenthood because PP assists women with abortion. Fun fact: Under Title X, PLANNED PARENTHOOD RECEIVES NO FEDERAL FUNDING FOR ABORTION SERVICES. What will happen is women and men will lose access to a myriad of healthcare services including affordable prescribed birth control and other contraceptives, cancer screenings, assistance with rape and sexual assault, HIV/AIDS and other STD testing, high blood pressure screenings, thyroid screenings, anemia screenings, pap tests, and more. Only 3% of women who go to PP are seeking abortion services.

Having access to affordable birth control and honest sexual education (enough of that abstinence nonsense) reduces the rate of abortions. As access to these services has increased, the abortion rate has decreased. The rate of abortions has decreased drastically since the 1980s.

If you have religious concerns regarding abortion, I completely respect that. That is you right as an American. But, America is not a religious entity. That whole separation of church and State thing is a thing (although it’s gotten completely out of hand). While I am not a Christian, I am a daughter of a Lutheran minister. I was raised to believe in the love and compassion of a savior with the authority to absolve all sins. I was taught that I was saved my God’s grace and His grace alone. I was taught to hate the sin and not the sinner. If you believe abortion is a sin, OK. But, spreading hatred based on your religious convictions just adds fuel to the Devil’s fire. Jesus broke bread and drank wine with the untouchables of the world and instructed His followers to love our neighbor as we love ourself. If you are a Christian, you believe that Jesus was crucified, died, was buried, rose again, and is seated at the right hand of the Father. Through his struggle we are forgiven of all sins. We are loved unconditionally. What’s that slogan? What would Jesus do? Remember that the next time you judge others that “sin” differently than you. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

So, that’s it. That’s the story of the scariest day of my life. I invite you to share your own stories because it’s time to speak up if you can. In the meantime, I will continue to be open about my experiences and struggles because I know there are people out there who share my pain in silence. I will not go out without a fight and I’ve got enough passion to last me till the bitter end.

Thanks for reading!

#abortion #abortion rights #womens rights #planned parenthood #i stand with planned parenthood #i stand with PP #healthcare #trump #pregnancy #pro choice #the right to choose #resist #america

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talabib · 6 years

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Leadership Journey: Steve Jobs

Steve Jobs epitomizes the daring and creativity of the tech industry’s pioneering entrepreneurs. Idolized by many, he has become an almost mythological figure – a knight crusading for innovation and immaculate design. As CEO of Apple, Jobs created one of the most valuable and admired companies in the world and, along with it, a series of amazing products, including the iPhone.

But who, exactly, was the man behind the myth? A good many tales have been told. Some saw Jobs as a genius and visionary leader, while others thought he was a pompous jerk, a single-minded perfectionist or a stubborn half-genius, half-asshole. This is the story of how Steve Jobs became the Steve Jobs we think of today.

Steve Jobs had an early knack for technology.

Steve Jobs was born on February 24, 1955, in San Francisco – and, shortly thereafter, he was put up for adoption by his biological mother, Joanna Schieble. As a result, he grew up the son of Paul and Clara Jobs, a working-class couple.

Being adopted by Paul and Clara may have greatly contributed to his later work, since Jobs quickly developed a keen understanding of technology. Because his father was a car mechanic and craftsman who made furniture, there was a workbench in the family’s garage and Jobs’s father taught him how to build things, take them apart and put them back together again. This education served him well; later in life, when he was showing the iPod to friends, Jobs reminisced about how his father told him to work as diligently on the underside of a cabinet as on its finish.

Jobs was also smart as a whip. He skipped sixth grade and was naturally drawn to math and science. Because of his demonstrated skill in these subjects, he was accepted into the Explorers Club, a group of kids who worked on electronics projects on the Hewlett-Packard campus. It was here that Jobs used a computer for the first time.

He was clearly precocious, so it’s no surprise that he was just 21 years old when he and Stephen Wozniak founded Apple.

The pair met in 1969 when a friend introduced Jobs to Wozniak, or “Woz,” an engineering genius and the son of a Lockheed Martin engineer. At the time, computing was anything but personal and computers didn’t even have keyboards or monitors. Woz recognized these shortcomings and Jobs knew they could build a better computer for home use.

So they set up in Jobs’s parents’ garage and began working on their first model, the Apple 1. They invited in a few kids from the neighborhood to assemble it and pretty soon they had a miniature assembly line going. They named the new company Apple – a nod to both the Garden of Eden and an Oregon apple orchard and commune that Jobs frequented after high school.

Apple quickly churned out a second computer, and the company became one of the fastest growing start-ups in history.

In founding his own company and designing the Apple 1, Jobs had discovered his purpose in life. He and Wozniak even convinced a local small-business owner to distribute their machines. Soon enough, they were selling a dozen computers every few weeks. Fewer than two hundred units of this first model were ever sold, but this success was nonetheless energizing.

Riding the momentum of their first attempt and Wozniak’s assurance that he could build a much better machine, they went to work on their second computer, the Apple II.

To fully realize Wozniak’s plan, however, they needed some serious capital, a problem they soon solved when Jobs won over A.C. “Mike” Markkula, a former Intel executive. This angel investor handed the pair a then whopping $92,000 out of his own pocket and set up a $250,000 line of credit for the young company.

Beyond that, Markkula also hired Michael “Scotty” Scott, who would become Apple’s first professional CEO and the company moved out of Jobs’s family garage and into a real office in Cupertino.

There, with their new professional assistance and start-up money, they focused on their vision to build a truly personal computer. In 1977, their hard work paid off and the Apple II was released. The new model came with a significantly faster microprocessor, which boosted performance, along with an audio amplifier and speaker as well as inputs for a gaming joystick.

But more importantly, as it was designed to be a personal computer, it didn’t make the frightening sounds of an industrial machine and it came packed in a single, manageable box. In combination, all these features made it a huge retail success.

Pretty soon, Apple was one of the fastest growing start-ups in history. In fact, soon after the Apple II was released, in April of 1977, the company was selling some 500 computers every month! From there, their sales rose from $7.8 million, in 1978, to an incredible $48 million, in 1979.

A series of product failures resulted in Jobs’s forced exile.

In the late 1970s, Jobs’s life was a rollercoaster; he was in his early twenties and he had thrown himself full throttle into his career, forgoing a social life and even going without sleep.

In many ways it paid off and, when Apple went public in 1980, Jobs’s shares made him worth $256 million. However, by icing out early contributors like Bill Fernandez and Daniel Kottke, Jobs isolated himself within the company. And then he and Wozniak began to grow apart.

Jobs was in urgent need of another breakthrough product, but the company simply couldn’t deliver. First, in 1980, they came out with the Apple III, the successor of the much-lauded Apple II. However, unlike its predecessor, this third model was an absolute disaster; it had an insane price tag of $4,340 and was prone to catastrophic overheating.

After the Apple III came the Lisa, a computer developed for businesses and introduced in 1983. It was the first computer to utilize a graphical user interface, or GUI, which meant it had desktop symbols that users could click on to open programs and files. Unfortunately, since Jobs was intent on making the computer accessible to individual users, rather than businesses, it was as much a failure as the Apple III.

Then, in 1984, the company released the Macintosh. While it was initially celebrated by the media for its beautiful graphics, it was clearly too under-powered to be truly useful and sales of the product missed the mark by a wide margin.

Such a stream of failures meant serious trouble for Jobs. In fact, the situation was so dire that, in 1985, he was forced into exile from his own company. The CEO at the time, John Sculley, made Jobs step down as head of the Mac product division and Jobs retaliated by trying to get Sculley fired. In the end, he couldn’t get the support he needed from the company board and was forced to walk away from Apple himself. Nonetheless, Jobs was more determined than ever to create the next big thing.

After leaving Apple, Jobs continued trying to revolutionize technology, but with little success.

Though forced out of Apple, Jobs was not about to give up. He was ready to plot his tech revolution and, with investors and the media hailing him as a genius, he was certain he could be a great CEO. He was also certain that he was the only person alive who could create such amazing products.

So, in 1985, he founded the computer company NeXT. But success didn’t come as readily as he’d assumed it would.

The firm started out with the idea of developing a computer geared toward the specific needs of the higher-education market, catering to universities and academic professionals. The academics Jobs spoke with told him that they couldn’t afford a penny above $3,000. Yet when NeXT finally released its first computer, in 1988, the retail cost was a shocking $6,500. And that wasn’t even the total cost for a fully functioning NeXT system; for the full works, users were really looking at something closer to $10,000! Naturally, at this price, the product had no chance.

The product’s demise is actually a good example of a general tendency Jobs had; he was so driven by innovation that he seemed practically incapable of noting the trade-offs that his choices necessitated.

For instance, he chose an optical disk drive for the storage of information rather than a more conventional hard drive. The disk drive had certain perks, like the ability to store two hundred times more information and the option for removal from the computer. However, pulling information off of an optical drive was impossibly slow, and nobody actually needed a removable drive.

Things weren’t going well at NeXT, but Jobs also had another project. He’d become the major owner of Pixar. This firm was a computer subdivision of Lucasfilm, which was responsible for the incredible special effects in movies like Star Trek II and Young Sherlock Holmes. The company caught Jobs’s attention because of the high-tier software they developed for the manipulation of 3D images. When all was said and done, it would be his experience at Pixar that would lead him back to Apple.

In the early 1990s, Microsoft dominated the computer industry, but success at Pixar reinvigorated Steve Jobs.

While Jobs struggled to pull together his vision for NeXT, which was drifting disastrously, another tech star was rising. This was Bill Gates, the founder of Microsoft. During the 1990s, his company was dominating the industry as NeXT and Apple alike began fading into the past.

In fact, by 1991, Microsoft was already the world’s leading software company. This might have had something to do with the fact that, while Apple and NeXT didn’t license their operating systems for other manufacturers, Microsoft’s operating system, Windows, became the industry standard for every personal computer not produced by the other two companies.

This wide appeal rocketed Gates into the elite circle of the super rich, but it also made clear the fundamental differences between him and Jobs. For instance, Jobs was always set on creating the best, most aesthetically pleasing and innovative machine possible. Gates, on the other hand, didn’t care much for revolutionizing the computer industry. Rather, he wanted to ensure reliability and gradual improvements, which is exactly what millions of corporate customers also craved.

Because of this difference, Gates became arguably the most important businessperson on earth, while Jobs looked on from the sidelines.

In 1995, Pixar partnered with Disney to produce its first animated film, Toy Story, which went on to be a smash success. This masterstroke also coincided with Pixar’s initial public offering, making Jobs, who owned 80 percent of the company’s shares, a billionaire overnight.

Oddly enough, the release of this animated film for children is what catalyzed Jobs’s rise from the dead. It boosted his confidence, and his experience at Pixar had also taught him about good management. During his tenure at the company, he learned from John Lasseter and Ed Catmull, both of whom ditched micromanagement at Pixar, enabling their creative employees to run with the freedom they needed.

Returning to Apple in 1997, Steve Jobs put the company back on track.

So the release of Toy Story put Jobs back in the spotlight. Nonetheless, NeXT was still struggling. The company’s products weren’t selling and Jobs’s dream that the company would produce the world’s next great computer was toast. It was by far the low point of his career.

Things were so bad that Jobs shut down production entirely, shifting the company’s focus to software development, specifically its operating system, NeXTSTEP, which at least brought in a small profit.

But if the situation with NeXT sounds dire, just wait till you hear what was going on with Apple. By the mid-1990s, the company was effectively a sinking ship. It had no promising products in the pipeline and was still failing to modernize its operating system.

Beyond that, Apple had way more employees than it could afford. As a result, in the first quarter of 1996 alone, the company lost $750 million.

Jobs watched the downfall of the company from a distance, but it was painful for him nonetheless. And then an unforeseen opportunity popped up: Apple, in search of a shortcut to a more advanced operating system and a way out of its crisis, was looking for software companies to acquire. Jobs threw his hat into the ring and, in late 1996, Apple purchased NeXT.

Just like that, Jobs was back at Apple! Over the years that followed, he worked hard to re-establish Apple as a profitable computer-industry leader. This process began with the forced resignation of the CEO, Gil Amelio, whom Jobs described as a “bozo.” With Amelio out of the picture, Jobs was offered the position and retook the reins.

Though finally back in power, Jobs was initially indecisive, which was a first for him. In fact, during the last few years, he had largely overcome his impulsive tendencies, learning to make careful, measured decisions. Thankfully, this initial indecision didn’t last and, by 2000, Apple was shipping out tons of ground-breaking products, including the iMac and Power Mac. It was this technological innovation that remade the company and brought it out of the red.

With the development of iTunes and the iPod, Apple entered the mass-market and rebuilt itself.

So Jobs succeeded in transforming Apple from a deeply troubled company into a soaring business, but how exactly?

First, he trimmed the firm down to a size that was appropriate to its resources. In the process, thousands of employees were laid off, but Jobs was able to inspire those who stayed to buckle down and create a whole new line of incredible products.

He did this by steering the company in a clear direction, focusing on no more than four basic products. The company produced two desktop PC models and two laptop models, one model from each pair directed at consumers; the other, at professionals.

Such focus laid the foundation for the company’s comeback. But the true innovation began in 2001, when Apple launched iTunes, a software that, for the first time ever, let users create digital music archives and put together personal playlists in a simple, easy-to-use way.

But what was even more important about iTunes is that it led to the development of the iPod. Introduced in the fall of 2001, this MP3 player was Apple’s first foray into the mass-market of consumer electronics. At the time, pocket-sized MP3 players existed, but were mostly poorly designed; it was difficult to put music on them and hard to find what you wanted to listen to.

The iPod changed all that. It was a truly usable device, in large part because of its user interface and its unique “thumb-wheel,” which let users intuitively scroll through their music collections. Customers instantly fell in love with the device and sales soared.

Then, in 2003, the company built an iTunes music store into the software and opened up iTunes for Windows users as well, taking a further step into the market. The addition of the music store was huge. It gave users a simple and fairly-priced option for buying albums and singles that they otherwise had to download illegally. It was so successful that, by the end of 2003, Apple had sold over 25 million songs. The company was back on the rise.

While Steve Jobs fought cancer, Apple continued to soar.

In his forty-nine years, Jobs had never experienced a serious medical condition. But then, in 2003, he was diagnosed with a pancreatic neuroendocrine tumor. Luckily, the tumor turned out to be slow-growing and more treatable than was first thought.

However, while the Stanford doctors that Jobs enlisted told him he needed immediate surgery, Jobs himself wasn’t so sure. Ignoring their advice, he opted first for an alternative, less invasive treatment: an augmented diet.

This route was insufficient, however, and, in 2004, without any other options, he finally did have the tumor surgically removed. The operation was highly-invasive and Jobs spent practically an entire day on the operating table. Worse still, it took him a full month to get back into the office post-surgery and, though the surgery was successful, it uncovered another serious medical problem; surgeons detected a series of cancerous metastases – secondary tumors growing on his liver.

At the same time, during 2003 and 2004, Apple continued to surge. Sales from iTunes and the iPod kept climbing. It was just three years after the launch of iTunes, but revenue related to the store and MP3 player already made up 19 percent of Apple’s total sales. In 2004 alone, the company sold 4.4 million iPods which brought in a net income of $276 million, a dramatic jump from the $69 million of the previous year.

Not just that, but Apple’s entire product line, including its laptops and desktops, was upgraded during these two years. It also didn’t hurt that Apple simultaneously launched its own internet browser, called Safari, and released a cool new application called GarageBand that could be used for simple music recording and editing.

When Jobs came back to the office, it was with a relentless drive to improve and innovate. Unsurprisingly, the result of that innovation is arguably Apple’s most revolutionary product to date: the iPhone.

The release of the iPhone changed technology forever.

In 2007, there already existed devices that were being described as “smartphones,” like the BlackBerry and the Palm Treo. All of them were fine for checking email, finding a contact in your address book or checking your calendar. But when the iPhone first hit shelves that summer, it clearly offered something different.

What really set the iPhone apart was its full-sized touch-screen, which made making a call as easy as swiping a finger. The larger screen also enabled users to view full-featured websites, photos and videos in a way previous phones hadn’t.

Another difference was that while the existing smartphones all had a massive, fixed keyboard, the iPhone didn’t have a built-in keyboard at all. Instead, the keys only displayed on the screen when needed.

How did this incredible innovation come into existence? Apple had actually been tinkering with the touch-screen technology since 2002, but for different reasons. Their hope at the time had been to find a more intuitive way for users to interact with computers beyond the confines of a keyboard and a mouse. As they began experimenting with multi-touch – as the technology is called – they found that it was both fun and effective.

In another sense, the iPhone was also just a natural progression from the iPod, combining a phone, an iPod and a computer in a single, beautifully designed product.

That all being said, the phone did have an initial problem. Because of Apple’s refusal to allow outside developers to build applications, there weren’t a ton of apps to choose from. It was only in November of 2007 that Apple revealed its intention to release a software-developer kit, which may have been the greatest breakthrough the product offered. All of sudden, anyone who wanted to could create apps, making the iPhone truly versatile.

As a result, the iPhone remains the most successful consumer electronics product in history. Over half a billion iPhones have been sold since 2007 and, of course, Apple has profited tremendously.

The iPad and the MacBook Air were Steve Jobs’s final accomplishments.

So Apple was doing better than ever, but the same couldn’t be said of Jobs. His cancer never went away, and his health was declining. But, despite this fact, his illness also never overshadowed the daily business of Apple. While the board of directors began to discuss succession plans, for most people at Apple, Jobs’s declining health was a total mystery.

After all, even as his health deteriorated and he knew time was running out, Jobs refused to give up. Because of his dedication, the company released the MacBook Air in 2008 and, two years later, the iPad. At the time, the former product was Apple’s new “it” device. It was thinner than any previous laptop – effectively the computer equivalent of a supermodel.

From there, the iPad further revolutionized the industry in 2010. If the iPhone was a miniaturized computer, the iPad was a blown up iPhone. When it was released, Jobs unveiled its functions while comfortably sitting on a couch, demonstrating how easy it was to use. And, in fact, the iPad did offer a much more intimate experience than a laptop, easily bringing computing into the living room.

This casual presentation was perfect, but it was also necessitated by Jobs’s poor health; he had lost an alarming amount of weight and the prospect of death was becoming undeniable. In early 2009, he received a liver transplant, but it was to no avail and, on Tuesday, October 5, 2011, Steve Jobs passed away.

As you might imagine, the funeral services were magnificent. When he was buried, on October 8, there was a small ceremony – family, close friends and companions from Apple. But another service followed on October 17, at Memorial Church, on the Stanford University campus. And then another, on October 20, at the Apple headquarters, in Cupertino, with almost ten thousand people in attendance.

Following Jobs’s burial, his long-time colleague and friend Tim Cook took over as CEO of Apple, and he’s continued to advance Jobs’s legacy – a legacy of growth, success, creativity and innovation.

The life of Steve Jobs is a story of success, innovation and growth. Even from an early age, Jobs had a talent for technology and, when he cofounded Apple in his twenties, he already had a vision of what computers could become. Though a sometimes impulsive and difficult man, he was also a dreamer and a trailblazer – and in an inspiration to millions worldwide.

#Leadership Journeys

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123hamid123-blog · 6 years

Photo

Steve Jobs - Commencement speech Thank you. I am honored to be with you today for your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world. Truth be told, I never graduated from college. And this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories. Connecting the dots The first story is about connecting the dots. I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out? It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We’ve got an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother found out later that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would go to college. This was the start in my life. And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked far more interesting. It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the $0.05 deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example: Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating. None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But 10 years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it’s likely that no personal computer would have them. If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leads you off the well-worn path and that will make all the difference. Love and loss My second story is about love and loss. I was lucky — I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents’ garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation — the Macintosh — a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating. I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down – that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me — I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over. I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life. During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the world’s first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together. I’m pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life is going to hit you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. And don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking. Don’t settle. Death My third story is about death. When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try and tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes. I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and thankfully I’m fine now. This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept: No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true. Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma — which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960’s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, overflowing with neat tools and great notions. Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. Thank you all very much.

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acrossthew · 7 years

Text

Refresh your mind - Steve Jobs motivational speech - Act 5

" Thank you. I am honored to be with you today for your commencement from one of the finest universities in the world ( Stanford ) . Truth be told, I never graduated from college. And this is the closest I’ve ever gotten to a college graduation. Today I want to tell you three stories from my life. That’s it. No big deal. Just three stories.

The first story is about connecting the dots. I dropped out of Reed College after the first 6 months, but then stayed around as a drop-in for another 18 months or so before I really quit. So why did I drop out? It started before I was born. My biological mother was a young, unwed graduate student, and she decided to put me up for adoption. She felt very strongly that I should be adopted by college graduates, so everything was all set for me to be adopted at birth by a lawyer and his wife. Except that when I popped out they decided at the last minute that they really wanted a girl. So my parents, who were on a waiting list, got a call in the middle of the night asking: “We’ve got an unexpected baby boy; do you want him?” They said: “Of course.” My biological mother found out later that my mother had never graduated from college and that my father had never graduated from high school. She refused to sign the final adoption papers. She only relented a few months later when my parents promised that I would go to college. This was the start in my life. And 17 years later I did go to college. But I naively chose a college that was almost as expensive as Stanford, and all of my working-class parents’ savings were being spent on my college tuition. After six months, I couldn’t see the value in it. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life and no idea how college was going to help me figure it out. And here I was spending all of the money my parents had saved their entire life. So I decided to drop out and trust that it would all work out OK. It was pretty scary at the time, but looking back it was one of the best decisions I ever made. The minute I dropped out I could stop taking the required classes that didn’t interest me, and begin dropping in on the ones that looked far more interesting. It wasn’t all romantic. I didn’t have a dorm room, so I slept on the floor in friends’ rooms, I returned coke bottles for the $0.05 deposits to buy food with, and I would walk the 7 miles across town every Sunday night to get one good meal a week at the Hare Krishna temple. I loved it. And much of what I stumbled into by following my curiosity and intuition turned out to be priceless later on. Let me give you one example: Reed College at that time offered perhaps the best calligraphy instruction in the country. Throughout the campus every poster, every label on every drawer, was beautifully hand calligraphed. Because I had dropped out and didn’t have to take the normal classes, I decided to take a calligraphy class to learn how to do this. I learned about serif and san serif typefaces, about varying the amount of space between different letter combinations, about what makes great typography great. It was beautiful, historical, artistically subtle in a way that science can’t capture, and I found it fascinating. None of this had even a hope of any practical application in my life. But 10 years later, when we were designing the first Macintosh computer, it all came back to me. And we designed it all into the Mac. It was the first computer with beautiful typography. If I had never dropped in on that single course in college, the Mac would have never had multiple typefaces or proportionally spaced fonts. And since Windows just copied the Mac, it’s likely that no personal computer would have them. (Haha spade for Windows) If I had never dropped out, I would have never dropped in on this calligraphy class, and personal computers might not have the wonderful typography that they do. Of course it was impossible to connect the dots looking forward when I was in college. But it was very, very clear looking backwards 10 years later. Again, you can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. Because believing that the dots will connect down the road will give you the confidence to follow your heart even when it leads you off the well-worn path and that will make all the difference.

Love and loss My second story is about love and loss. I was lucky, I found what I loved to do early in life. Woz and I started Apple in my parents’ garage when I was 20. We worked hard, and in 10 years Apple had grown from just the two of us in a garage into a $2 billion company with over 4000 employees. We had just released our finest creation ' the Macintosh 'a year earlier, and I had just turned 30. And then I got fired. How can you get fired from a company you started? Well, as Apple grew we hired someone who I thought was very talented to run the company with me, and for the first year or so things went well. But then our visions of the future began to diverge and eventually we had a falling out. When we did, our Board of Directors sided with him. So at 30 I was out. And very publicly out. What had been the focus of my entire adult life was gone, and it was devastating. I really didn’t know what to do for a few months. I felt that I had let the previous generation of entrepreneurs down, that I had dropped the baton as it was being passed to me. I met with David Packard and Bob Noyce and tried to apologize for screwing up so badly. I was a very public failure, and I even thought about running away from the valley. But something slowly began to dawn on me, I still loved what I did. The turn of events at Apple had not changed that one bit. I had been rejected, but I was still in love. And so I decided to start over. I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life. During the next five years, I started a company named NeXT, another company named Pixar, and fell in love with an amazing woman who would become my wife. Pixar went on to create the world’s first computer animated feature film, Toy Story, and is now the most successful animation studio in the world. In a remarkable turn of events, Apple bought NeXT, I returned to Apple, and the technology we developed at NeXT is at the heart of Apple’s current renaissance. And Laurene and I have a wonderful family together. I'm pretty sure none of this would have happened if I hadn’t been fired from Apple. It was awful tasting medicine, but I guess the patient needed it. Sometimes life is going to hit you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. You’ve got to find what you love. And that is as true for work as it is for your lovers. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. And don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on. So keep looking. Don’t settle.

Death My third story is about death. When I was 17, I read a quote that went something like: “If you live each day as if it was your last, someday you’ll most certainly be right.” It made an impression on me, and since then, for the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?” And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something. Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything — all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important. Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart. About a year ago I was diagnosed with cancer. I had a scan at 7:30 in the morning, and it clearly showed a tumor on my pancreas. I didn’t even know what a pancreas was. The doctors told me this was almost certainly a type of cancer that is incurable, and that I should expect to live no longer than three to six months. My doctor advised me to go home and get my affairs in order, which is doctor’s code for prepare to die. It means to try and tell your kids everything you thought you’d have the next 10 years to tell them in just a few months. It means to make sure everything is buttoned up so that it will be as easy as possible for your family. It means to say your goodbyes. I lived with that diagnosis all day. Later that evening I had a biopsy, where they stuck an endoscope down my throat, through my stomach and into my intestines, put a needle into my pancreas and got a few cells from the tumor. I was sedated, but my wife, who was there, told me that when they viewed the cells under a microscope the doctors started crying because it turned out to be a very rare form of pancreatic cancer that is curable with surgery. I had the surgery and thankfully I’m fine now. This was the closest I’ve been to facing death, and I hope it’s the closest I get for a few more decades. Having lived through it, I can now say this to you with a bit more certainty than when death was a useful but purely intellectual concept: No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new. Right now the new is you, but someday not too long from now, you will gradually become the old and be cleared away. Sorry to be so dramatic, but it is quite true. Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition. They somehow already know what you truly want to become. Everything else is secondary. When I was young, there was an amazing publication called The Whole Earth Catalog, which was one of the bibles of my generation. It was created by a fellow named Stewart Brand not far from here in Menlo Park, and he brought it to life with his poetic touch. This was in the late 1960’s, before personal computers and desktop publishing, so it was all made with typewriters, scissors, and polaroid cameras. It was sort of like Google in paperback form, 35 years before Google came along: it was idealistic, overflowing with neat tools and great notions. Stewart and his team put out several issues of The Whole Earth Catalog, and then when it had run its course, they put out a final issue. It was the mid-1970s, and I was your age. On the back cover of their final issue was a photograph of an early morning country road, the kind you might find yourself hitchhiking on if you were so adventurous. Beneath it were the words: “Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish.” It was their farewell message as they signed off. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. And I have always wished that for myself. And now, as you graduate to begin anew, I wish that for you. Stay Hungry. Stay Foolish. Thank you all very much. " (The following content is a speech taken literally) Source: http://ift.tt/2wObqMN via ATW-Team

#Motivation

0 notes