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bonefall · 29 days

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I personally like Thunder's prosthetic. Explained it to my friend (who does use a mobility device, a cane and wheelchair, and listens to me rant and infodump about BB) and they agreed, it's important to know that not every person needs what someone wants to give them. It's another example of "bad ableist person does a thing that hurts a disabled person because they are bad and ableist".

Clear Sky got Jagged Peak killed and would have killed Sunlit Frost! He would absolutely force his disabled son to be "normal" and present it like a privilege. "I wouldn't do this for anyone else, it's special, why don't you want to be helped?"

Thunder Storm should toss it in Clear Sky's face. (I would say toss it into the river but we do not pollute waterways in this house)

Thank you for telling me this, and tell your friend I'm thanking them too! If they have anything else to add please forward what they have to say

Since BB!DOTC tackles some of the heaviest topics in the entire series because its canon equivalent is so dark, I think very carefully about what I do here and how I show it. I take feedback on its sensitive aspects very seriously. If I'm understanding the criticism properly, it's that I should avoid stigmatizing prosthetics by making sure Thunder Storm's not the only one with it-- which he's not! And I'll add even more.

I don't want to avoid something only because it's uncomfortable if the topic is important, and my portrayal is respectful. Ableism IS uncomfortable! There are some situations where a prosthetic is not wanted! I think the rejection of this particular one is both a good opportunity to show a type of ableism and ALSO is very fitting for the characters.

In BB!Clear Sky's mind, the villain, he's fixing an old mistake. He can't admit that he got Jagged Peak killed or take REAL accountability for it (though he will, occasionally, apologize insincerely), but deep in his bones, he knows what he did was cruel. He'll never tell anyone this because he doesn't really cognate it himself, but Thunder Storm NEEDS to take his gift.

If Thunder doesn't take it, it blows a hole in his newest story. You see, throwing Jagged Peak out was All That Could Have Been Done back then. It was a Tragedy and he simply Made A Hard Choice. He regrets it very much, But You Have To Understand.

But now? Now? Well, behold. Look at what he's accomplished since the tragic death of his little brother. His cats are well-fed, cared for, and stable enough to make such incredible advancements. If only Jagged Peak had been able to hold on longer, if only he could be here now, I could fix him.

Just like I can (MAKE YOU JUST LIKE ME) fix you.

"Everything I've ever done is for Jagged Peak. For Fluttering Wing. For you." Thunder Sky is SPECIAL, but if he rejects any gift, tries to turn down the "privileges" offered to him, in an instant that becomes ungratefulness and arrogance. He both forces him to be special, and then leverages it against him if it's rejected. "Spoiled brat, doesn't appreciate what I've worked so hard to give him."

It all goes back to him and his own guilt. He can NEVER be wrong. He can't accept his family doesn't have to be "normal" or reflect his own ability. He won't see himself as a bully, let alone a murderer. It was never about his son's comfort or finding out what Thunder Storm wants or needs, it was about his own ego.

...All that said I'm still taking feedback if there's anything else I should keep in mind, or if anyone has a counter point, especially if you also have experience here.

(In the interest of having a link trail for posterity, here's the critique/call for feedback this is in response to)

#ALSO also I will take suggestions on other characters who should have prosthetics #Sunlit makes sense and it will make a really nice character moment later for him to have one built #There's also an amputee in RiverClan few people talk about called Stonestream #I can give him one and bump him up into a bigger character. In BB he is the sibling of Willowshine #BB!DOTC #better bones au #Also just as a side note... I love writing BB!Skystar. My ire for the character comes from his redemption arc so I feel like I get to--#--write the character I WANTED to see #Same with Bramble in other BB arcs #cw ableism #tw ableism #ableism #They're fascinating in that they always have to see themselves as the victim or the hero #They believe every lie they tell.#If you ever catch them in a contradiction they will still try to find some way to turn it on you and YOUR lack of understanding.#Interestingly both of them are ableist. Sky's is just more obvious because he's LOUDLY bigoted.#But BB!Bramble is *notably* less close to Jay for a very sad and very subtle reason.#Jay just doesn't serve his ego like the others do until much later in his life.#unfortunately most bigotry is like that.#the type you have a hard time calling out because it's a deniable bias. the constant gaslighting of being part of a marginalized group #Maybe I need to address the criticism by adding a character with a prosthetic to THIS arc even earlier #Problem is that like... Thunder's small merc group is already full of disabled characters and their THING is forming in response to ableism #OH maybe I'll put someone in the Forest Cat group which is lead by Slash?#I need to finish that last book and then gather up all the cats for sorting into allegiances

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nopes-and-dreams · 11 days

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hey folks please do me a favor and don’t tag scars, disfigurement, and amputees as triggers on my art. that’s not cool that is people’s bodies. you would not tag a fat person as ‘fat tw’ or a black person as ‘black tw’ so please for the love of everything holy and profane do not tag scars, disfigurement and amputees as ‘scars tw’ or ‘amputation tw.’ amputation as an act can be warned for but not amputees.

#If you’re triggered by amputees now is a great time to start working on desensitizing yourself because that ain’t something you should make #other people’s problem. thank you.#And scars and disfigurement are not body horror so again do not do that!

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amputeeleo · 11 months

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🤤

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hisfearlesshaz · 2 years

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It’s ace awareness week!!! Make some noise everyone

#it’s not my best work but it’s something alright #ace week #asexual #asexual awareness week #mine #listen i KNOW that some flags have problems or whatever but these are the most widely used and accepted so im sticking with them #wanted to include disabled aces too but the best i could come up with is a finger amputee #sorry y’all pls know i tried

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disagigglebilities · 1 month

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Not me telling grown ass men they sound like idiots when they go on about how "attitude changes everything" wrt disability. Like uh no. No amount of smiling is gonna make my heart rate stay down. Stfu you dumb fucks

#these guys were going on and on about how exercise can cure everything and i cannot believe these grown men are that stupid #i mean they live in a building with disabled people for gods sake #the man sitting next to them is literally an amputee with post covid lung problems #like stfu please #aint nobody wanna hear shit about how dumb you are

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terresdebrume · 4 months

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Sometimes I get fic ideas where it's like. This isn't porn, it's not even featuring any sexual act, but it feels like it would be odd to write it because it would be taking something that I've only seen discussed more seriously and only approach it fully through the lense of humor

It's what happened when I wrote the Lightwoods having a banterous conversation about periods, and when I wrote the Spartacus fic that's literally just a guy doing a stand up routine about the difficulties of having practically non functioning hands*

*He gets nails driven through them in the original show

And now I've been struck with the urge of writing a fic (Band of Brothers, modern AU) where the gang is spending a vacation together in a lake cabin, Bill Guarnere (partial leg amputee) and his partner bring their sex swing along, and when the rest of the group hears about it the entire evening devolves into a joking and irreverent conversation about sex, the logistics of it, and the solutions they've found to their issues

#Matt writes #Kind of #Idk how to explain this category of fic properly tbh it just #It feels to me like periods and disability and sex are things where (on the internet at least) the expectation is #that if you're going to talk about it at all you have to be serious #you have to do your research and be accurate and be careful not to offend etc #and like these are good goals overall!!!#but also i'm just #sometimes it's good to just have a laugh about it #because in real life sometimes you talk about serious stuff in a serious tone #and other times you laugh as you tell a friend about that time your grandfather feel on his ass while wielding a chainsaw #(he was fine)#and sometimes you laugh at a funeral and sometimes you just make really bad jokes about the difficulties of your life and it's fine #... this sounds a lot preachier than I meant it to #OH WELL #Maybe I'll write that sex discussion fic #but first let me google 'problems leg amputees face during sex'

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clatterbane · 1 year

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That is one thing, at least. I am really hoping that getting in with the local "Walking School" might actually help me get the freaking nerve pain treated again.

Because that's one of the things that team is supposed to be handling--and it is very unusual that any amputee will NOT have some significant problems from the nerve damage that kinda goes along with the package. (And yeahno, weed is not a reasonable DIY solution here. Even for people who can't get deported, and who it works for.)

I do know that I would have one hell of a time trying to gimp around on a prosthetic, the way things stand right now with the nerve BS. Before we even get to more straightforward musculoskeletal issues, which I am way less hopeful about being taken into proper consideration--while doing intensive PT and no doubt playing crash test dummy a lot for a while. 😬

#personal #nerve pain #amputee #my body is trash #eds problems

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seratlantisite · 10 months

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random thing - when staying places, people keep seeing me, disabled, and proudly going "oh! well don't you worry, we have a walk in shower stall!" and i have to laugh and break it to them that i cannot fucking use that.

walk in stalls are for bad joints or bad balance, the dainty little stools in there for gently easing weight off your limbs. sure i could walk in, sit down and yeet my prosthetic out of the stall so it doesnt get wet but how tf do i get back out? how do i steady myself when the polly pocket chair teeters because i had to lean too far on my own unsupported side to reach the soap on the far side of your giant ass shower cavern

#im just laughing because this SPECIFICALLY keeps happening #stop offering me walk in showers what isnt clicking here #you can see what my disability is. its the easiest thought problem in the world to try and work through #my mother literally bought me the tub transfer bench and she still suggested a walk in shower the other day and i just stared at her #until she thought it through #and then i burst out laughing when she was like o-oh. right #amputee blogging #yada yada there is no one answer to accessibility you are always going to need to provide a RANGE of options #but the walk in shower thing just. keeps. happening

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imdisabledduh · 1 year

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Welcome disabled kings and queens! Make yourself comfortable

Able-bodied freaks have permission to watch from distance

People don't get my humor when I joke about my fucked up leg, so I made this blog

Please, submit your suggestions for posts, it can be memes, informative stuff, nice pictures, movies/books that don't piss you off with ableist shit me before you, disability perks and cons, funny/sad/revolting stories, tips and tricks, etc. literally anything that disabled babes might relate.

#disabilities #actually disabled #disabled #disability #wheelchair #hearing #hearing aids #artificial limbs #malformation #amputee #amputation #neurodivergent #neurodiverse stuff #autism #disabled pride #disabled problems #disabled positivity #disabled negativity #complaining

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oodlenoodleroodle · 1 year

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The Hastings Center had an event last week titled “Genetic Advantages in Sports: When Do They Count As ‘Doping’?” and I didn’t watch it but it seems that in the way the world is rn it counts as doping if you are a Black woman like Caster Semenya and doesn’t count as doping if you are a white man like Michael Phelps.

#it should never count as doping #and trans people should also be allowed to compete in their gender identity groups #and super-able disabled people like double amputees with amazing runner legs should also be allowed to compete with abled people #i am against doping though since those substances are often harmful to the athletes' health in the long run #and therefore their use should be discouraged as much as possible #but trans people being better than cis people is not a problem. its not unfair.#disabled people being better than abled people is not a problem. it is not unfair #its not unfair that a double amputee can run faster than an abled runner.#'boohoo he has an unfair advantage.' abled people have an unfair advantage in literally everything and you never cry over that. so shut it.#like you do realise you sound like white supremacists upset that black people are better at running and basketball.#black people being better than white people is not a problem. it is not unfair.

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cy-cyborg · 3 months

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I'm preparing some writing advice posts and while researching I came across an article (that's not the right word but I can't think of the correct one lol) released by the journal of the American society of plastic surgeons in 1989 and while it was a helpful source (at least, the snipped I saw that's not locked behind a paywall anyway), I just had to laugh at how the author decided to introduce and frame the topic (examples of amputees using prosthetics in the antiquity/renaissance periods). This was the opening paragraph:

"The ideal of physical perfection has always required completeness and symmetry; a missing body part renders a person unusual, vulnerable, and ugly. Consequently, since antiquity, amputees have sought to correct this unacceptable condition."

Like geeze, ok, what did amputees ever do to you, who hurt you 😂? It was written in the 80's so I'm not shocked or upset by any means, I found it funny honestly (and I do recognise the author, who seems to be a plastic surgeon, was likely just repeating the sentiments some of their patients said they were feeling) but this sounds like the author just really has something against amputees specifically lmao.

#in all seriousness this is why its important to talk about internalised ableism. this wasnt framed as an opinion but an objective fact #while its funny looking back on this kind of stuff the medical feild has massive problems with ableism. its gotten better and i dont think #would fly today there are still too many people whos job it is to work with disabled and chronically ill people who think like this #disability #disabilities #disabled #amputee #doctors #ableism

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theprissythumbelina · 3 months

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So you want to write about horses.

Part 2 now out!

Or you're writing and horses show up. Or its a pre-industrial fantasy and your characters have to get somewhere. Or you have a faint idea of your MC's love interest showing up on a white stallion.

Whatever the cause, you're writing, and a horse appears. But you know nothing about horses. I can help.

This is a horse. Horses come in many sizes.

^ Big Jake, a Belgian Draft horse, and a roughly 5 foot woman for scale.

1 hand = 4 inches = 10.16 cm

Once a horse is smaller than about 14.2hh, it is generally considered a pony. In the modern day, ponies are not considered suitable for adult riders due to weight and height issues. Some pony breeds, such as Welsh, Fjords, ect. are known for being sturdy, and can more easily carry adult sized humans. Miniature horses should never be ridden by adults.

^The only suitable 'riding' a miniature horse should do

The above graphic mentions that horses are measured from the top of the withers, not the top of the head. But, what are withers?

The withers are where the horse's shoulders meet the spine, and the neck becomes the back. Withers are incredibly important for saddle placement, as a badly placed saddle in this area can prevent a horse from moving its legs properly, cause a large amount of pain, and even damage a horse's spine. Speaking of spines, this is a horse skeleton, with the withers pointed out.

Horses have four legs. Horses cannot have any fewer than four legs. They are obligate quadrupeds. This is, in part, due to their weight, as well as the construction of their legs and hooves. This is to say, that while cats, dogs, and other animals can be amputees, a horse, short of some incredible magic solution, cannot. Even a broken leg bone will cause a huge amount of problems, as all of the weight that leg would usually hold must be shifted to the other feet, and this causes a condition called laminitis, where the tissue that holds together the hoof and the toe bone becomes inflamed, and begins to separate. Once this happens, the hoof tissue dies from lack of blood, and the bone begins to rotate. This is extremely painful for the horse, and so often the best solution for a horse with a broken leg is to be spared that pain. Famous American racehorse Barbaro experienced a complex broken bone, which began to heal fine, but complications from laminitis in two of his other legs caused him to be put down. This is why media will almost always show a horse with a broken or injured leg being 'taken care of'.

^Barbaro, in his prime. Even the best veterinary medicine couldn't save him.

Now, racehorses like Barbaro are moving at the fastest speed and the fastest gait of the horse, the gallop. The patterns that horses move their feet are referred to as gaits, with most horses having four, with some breeds having five or more.

The first gait and the slowest is the walk. In the walk, all four feet move independently, which leads it to be called a four-beat gait, as the footfalls make a sort of drumbeat on the ground.

The next gait is the trot, a two beat gait with diagonal pairs of legs moving together.

^Diagonal pairs marked in red and blue

The trot is a very bouncy experience for the rider, and can be uncomfortable. Some riders will rise and fall with a pair of diagonal legs, called a posting trot, some will stand in their stirrups, called a two-point or jump position, and some will sit the trot, which requires a lot of core strength (seriously, if you want a strong core, screw the gym)

The third gait is the canter, a three-beat gait with a single diagonal pair. This gait is ridden sitting, and feels a lot like going over waves on a jetski. There is a rise, a scoop, and a fall feeling. The canter is also called a lope in Western riding, they are the same gait.

^diagonal pair marked in red

A gallop is sometimes considered a variation on canter, as it is similar save for the legs actually moving in a four-beat pattern. As you can see with the image of Barbaro, all four of his feet are moving in different patterns, at different times, even though the gallop is really a four beat version of the canter. Riders in the gallop rise off the horse's back into a raised position, which allows the horse to use the full length of its spine and musculature to get as much reach and speed as possible. It feels like riding on top of a train barreling down the tracks, at least until your horse takes an unexpected turn and the ground is suddenly the only thing you're riding.

^ I've been there. The trick is to push away and hit the ground rolling, it hurts less that way. And don't land on your head.

That's all for this post. I'll have more when I feel like it, and send me questions if you want to know more about specific things or need a writing question answered

Reblogs welcome and encouraged

@jacqueswriteblrlibrary for wider reach

#writing #writing horses #writer advice #how to write #writing advice #writing help #writeblr #creative writing #writers on tumblr #writeblr community #writers #writerscommunity #horses #basic horse things

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urdepressedslut · 10 months

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You’re Mine, Sunshine

♡ Pairing: Grumpy!Bodyguard!Bucky Barnes x Sunshine!Fem!Reader

♡ Summary: Bucky gets picked by a very rich and respected man to be his daughter’s personal bodyguard. The Father warns him that it won’t be an easy job, that she is a brat and difficult to deal with. But what happens when Bucky meets you and you’re the complete opposite?

♡ Warnings: mentions of amputation, light angst, hints to violence, mentions of death, bucky being a grumpy man

Part 2

Trope ⇢ Grumpy x Sunshine | Mob!AU Bodyguard!AU

“Mr. Barnes, your résumé so far is quite impressive.” Pierce acknowledged with a slow nod.

Bucky of course had a trained eye, but the glares that were not so subtly sent his way by the big boss— were intimidating. He wasn’t scared, no. He simply respected this man’s power. Bucky knew better than to get on the bad side of someone like Pierce.

“Says here you’re an amputee?” Pierce asked so bluntly, and he noticed Bucky’s eyes squint slightly. “Sorry, if I’m overstepping but nothing will be overlooked.”

“It’s not a problem, sir.” Bucky assured him. “Yes, I lost my left arm during a mission way back.”

Pierce furrowed his brows.

“Mission? I take it you used to be an agent of some sort.” He assumed.

Bucky nodded.

“Hm, very good. Continue.” He waved him on.

“I had some surgical procedures— and now I have a prosthetic.”

Bucky lifted his left arm, rolling his sleeve slightly up to expose the metal to the boss. Pierce hummed impressively, taking in the intricate designs on the metal.

“I can assure you that me having a prosthetic will not be an issue— my arm is made out of only the strongest metal. Bullet proof, in fact.” He added, hoping it would further impress the boss, proving just how perfect for the job he was.

It wasn’t his dream to be a bodyguard, actually it was quite a low in his career— if you asked him. He had fallen out of his previous steady job, due to some complications. He had the experience of being a bodyguard— just not for only one person. It would be a weird change for him, but he was willing to take on the challenge. Also, the pay was nice.

Pierce hummed again, the information that his prosthetic arm was bullet proof— only satisfying him more.

“Like I said, impressive Mr. Barnes. But this is an extremely important task. My only daughter, who must be protected at all costs.” Pierce trailed off, expression growing serious. “It’s been a hard adjustment since the passing of my wife, my daughter is all I have left.”

Bucky nodded in understanding, knowing what it was like to lose loved ones. In fact, that wound was still fresh on him.

“If I allow you to take on this role, you are to swear to yourself that you will do whatever it takes to keep her alive— no matter what.” Pierce spoke loudly, his voice orotund.

Bucky in the back of his mind thought about his choice of words. ‘If I allow you.’ Bucky respected this man, but he had to hold back the scoff that threatened to escape his lips at his statement.

“Do you think you’re ready for that?” Pierce challenged, and suddenly it wasn’t about his daughter at all. It was a man challenging another man, a task that he deemed impossible.

His metal hand behind his back whirred in annoyance. After all that fluffing his head up, complimenting his training. It was clear Pierce thought so little of him, and at that— it made Bucky wanna take the job even more. Just to prove him wrong.

“Yes sir.” Bucky promised, shaking Pierces hand in a firm— slightly aggressive shake.

Pierce smiled, dropping Bucky’s résumé on his desk. Getting himself comfortable, he sat on the edge of the front of the desk, crossing his arms.

“Now, let’s go through what is to be expected.” He started, Bucky nodded for him to continue. “You are to be with her at all times, except for when you sleep. You do sleep right?”

Bucky let the scoff escape this time, but it wasn’t as aggressive as he wanted it to be.

“I’ve got a metal arm, but I’m still human sir.”

Pierce chuckled to himself, and Bucky wanted to roll his eyes. This man thinks he’s so funny.

“Right. You must never let her leave your sight, if she wants to see her friends— you’ll be seeing them with her. Not that it’s going to be an issue, I don’t think she has many friends… or any.” The boss shrugged, seemingly unconcerned about his daughter.

Bucky nodded, taking everything in.

“You are going to be staying with her in the safe house… well— she thinks it’s just a house but the area is guarded with my men.” He shrugged again. “I’m a successful man and with that comes enemies, people who look for my weaknesses. You know that.”

Bucky gave a tight lipped smile, Pierce so far sounding like a father of the year.

“Now, about my daughter. Her name is (Y/n) (Y/L/n), and she is a handful.” Pierce stated frustratedly. “She’s rude, ungrateful, nasty— and just overall extremely difficult.”

Bucky furrowed his brows, rethinking his decision to be a bodyguard for this girl. Fucking lovely.

“You can now understand why I’m paying you the offered amount. It’s only fair to you, Mr. Barnes. Truthfully, I can’t deal with her anymore. I love her, and she’s my daughter but… It just doesn’t work out with me. I’m a busy man— I don’t have time for brats.” Pierce spat, straightening up and heading back around his desk.

Bucky had already been creating this mental image of you, so far you sounded like a witch. He was not at all ready to be dealing with you 24/7.

“Doesn’t sound like a problem boss, I’m happy to be protecting your daughter. Nobody will lay a hair on her head, I swear on my life.” Bucky promised again, bowing his head slightly.

“Oh I know. If anything happens to her and I find out you were slacking even by an inch… well you’re a smart man, I’m sure you can figure it out.” Pierce warned, and Bucky swallowed at the mere intimidation that laced his voice.

But he would not back down to this challenge, which is how he saw this— not a job.

“That will be all Mr. Barnes, (Y/n) is around here somewhere. Find her and take her home.” He told Bucky, putting on his glasses— focusing on his paperwork.

“Yes sir.”

Bucky nodded and turned to exit the room. He was so confused with the interaction. You’d think someone who hires a bodyguard for their daughter would know where their daughter is. The way he spoke about you was off putting. Bucky didn’t even know you, but it felt wrong to hear someone talk so little about you. What did he know anyway— apparently you were a monster.

He made his way through the building with a swift walk, needing to fulfill his duties and find you quickly. He was on the third floor, about to hit the button to the elevator when he saw a young lady. Despite him wanting to find you all on his own, he got her attention.

“Excuse me,” He waved to her with a fake smile, “Do you know where I can find (Y/n) (Y/L/n)?”

The lady smiled and took Bucky by surprise by laughing. His fake smile vanished immediately, his eyes squinting in a annoyed expression.

“That would be me!” You exclaimed with a warm smile.

Bucky’s eyes widened and he thought for a second he was being fucked with, but after you stayed smiling at him, being as patient as ever— he knew you weren’t joking.

“Uh right… Your dad is Pierce?” He asked hesitantly, keeping his guard up. Still thinking someone was messing with him— testing him.

You nodded slowly, giving him a curious expression. Your smile never wavering.

“Yes, and you are?” You asked so politely.

Bucky shouldn’t of been as shocked as he was but truthfully, he was expecting a demon spawn of a person. Red eyes, withered flowers left in your path, a literal storm cloud floating over you— but you looked so normal. So sweet and pretty. Your hair smelled so strongly of strawberry shampoo, he could catch the scent from his spot. Your voice was like honey, the sound soothing.

He was confused as to why your father thought so wrongly of you. He had too many questions.

He cleared his throat, straightening himself now that he believed you were who he was looking for.

“(Y/n), my name is Mr. Barnes— I’ve been hired as your personal bodyguard.” He informed you, watching the corners of your mouth falter slightly.

“Oh, did my Father hire you?” You asked politely.

“Yes ma’am.”

You nodded your head, attempting to keep a smile on your face. But you couldn’t help the distaste for being given a bodyguard. You knew it was only for the sole purpose, that your Father didn’t want to care for you anymore. He wanted nothing to do with you. That fact was enough to make your nose start to burn, but you held yourself together— not wanting to break down in front of this new guy.

Bucky watched you take in the information, the way you took a deep breath, almost controlling yourself before you spoke again.

“Nice to meet you Mr. Barnes. I’m sure we’re going to be great friends.” You told him.

Bucky shook his head, an annoyed expression etching his face.

“Ma’am, I think we should keep things professional. I have been hired as your bodyguard. Let me do my job, and you can continue with your day as usual. You won’t even know I’m here half the time.” He explained rather harshly.

You seemed taken aback, his words hurting you more than they should’ve. You were lonely, and you thought you’d be able to get a friend out of this situation. Even if he was being hired to hang around you. Luck didn’t seem to be on your side as he told you off. The burning felt stronger in your nose, and you took another deep breath.

Bucky only felt bad for a second, but he was quickly snapping back to reality. It was his life on the line to protect you, and if Bucky was anything— it was that he was good at doing his job. This was business, not playtime.

“I’m here to take you home. Are you ready?” He asked you.

You relaxed your quick beating heart, not even having time to speak with your Father. Not that he’d want to anyway. So much had changed since your Mother passed, you had yet to heal those wounds.

You nodded with a weaker smile, one that didn’t quite reach your eyes. If Bucky had noticed your sudden mood change, he didn’t mention it— instead guiding you outside.

He opened the door to the car that was waiting outside for you, climbing in himself after you were settled.

He started driving to your place, with the help of the car telling him directions.

Meanwhile you gazed out the window, watching the buildings pass by. You forced yourself to keep a small smile on your face, hoping you’d convince yourself that the gesture was genuine if you did it long enough.

Bucky glanced back at you through the rear view mirror from time to time, watching you look out the window. He was still trying to come to terms with how polite you were, how completely opposite you were to your Fathers description.

On one hand it was a relief that he didn’t have to deal with the devil. On the other hand… he was anxious to see where this job would lead him.

A/N: I don’t know what is wrong with me, but suddenly I had this urge to write a bodyguard!bucky fic. let’s be honest, we are all slut’s for bodyguard!bucky 😭 I’m also a whore for the trope grumpy x sunshine 🥰🥴 let me know what you think— this is all word vomit.

#bucky barnes #the winter soldier #marvel cinematic universe #reader insert #sebastian stan #buckybarnes #fluff #marvel imagines #light angst #oneshot #bodyguard bucky barnes #bodyguard au #mob au #grumpy x sunshine #james buchanan barnes #bucky barnes x you #beefy bucky barnes #bucky barnes x y/n #mini series

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mrdoubleamputee · 2 years

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My Daily Struggle

Hello, I am a double amputee from a birth defect. This defect is named BiLateral Fibular Hemimelia, nicknamed frog legs. This caused me to have three toes on my right foot, and two toes on my left foot which also had no bones. At the age of two, I had both my feet amputated. And I have been in prosthetics ever since. On top of that I struggle with ADHD, and depression, even more now that I am a husband and father with a full-time job. Now that you know about my background let me tell you about what deal with on a day-to-day basis. I wake up, put my prosthesis on, and start my day. From the moment I wake up, I feel like I am instantly battling myself. I start fighting inner thoughts of " you're going to fail" or "you aren't good enough for your son and his friends will make fun of him because of you." These thoughts go through my head from the beginning of the day until I eventually fall asleep after fighting insomnia for hours. These thoughts are debilitating, and sometimes they prevent me from going on about my day. Today was one of those days. Typically, I am really good at ignoring thoughts. But today I didn't have the power to do so. I let the thoughts get to me and all I wanted to do was lay in bed and not be talked to by anyone. I saw it really affect my wife and she tried her best to help me feel better. Nothing was helping. So I started researching what could help and came across an article about taking cold baths to help with depression. So I took a cold bath with ice and I felt amazing afterward.

Some of the other things I deal with as an amputee are the stares, from kids it's okay, but when I get stared at by an adult it's incredibly uncomfortable and rude. I do my best not to lash out, but sometimes I just can't help but cuss some rude ass adult out. It makes me feel horible and it scares my wife because I hulk out. It's hard for me to get out of the house some days. But I know I have to. I started taking ADHD and sleeping medication and it's helping me with my focus I am not so tired throughout the day so I can actually get things done now. But I still lack structure. I feel like have this superpower that is just being wasted away and I don't know how to organize my mind and thoughts so I can be more productive to earn my degree or certificates so I can get into a better-paying job.

I should begin looking into talking with a therapist.

I guess I don't really know why I am writing this, I just felt that I needed to get this out into the world for some reason. I'm not sure if this will be a daily thing or a one-off deal. But if anyone actually reads this, thanks for reading.

#amputee #adhd #adhd problems #disability #foot amputee #legless #depression

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