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neonscandal · 3 months

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Thanks for answering my ask from a few weeks ago @neonscandal ..... If you don't mind me asking (again), what are your top 10 (or top 7) favorite media (can be books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series)? Why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before....

Thank you for asking in the first place! ❤️

Not at all unique is the fact that, as soon as I get asked a question about my top faves, I immediately draw a blank on everything I've ever enjoyed or watched, ever. 😅 I'm sure that's not the first time you've heard that. No need to apologize, as you can probably tell from other asks, my answers change regularly. This is my anime/manga blog so without any regard for order:

Life Lessons with Uramichii-Oniisan (anime) - depending on how old you are, there's a cognitive dissonance that occurs when you're no longer younger than nor the same age as your favorite protagonists in the stories you grew up with. This is the anime that eases the blow of that like the ibuprofen you now keep at home, at work and in your purse. And it's hysterical.

Attack on Titan (anime/manga) - There is something to be said for the eloquence of the exposition in this story which, when you know Isayama spent years shopping his art around to no avail because of the roughness of his style, makes perfect sense. While refining his art, he had all this time to pore over the story, hide little easter eggs so there'd be one string that gathered up all seeming loose ends. Just an incredibly interesting story to unfold. It's the kind of thing you wish you could read again for the first time but that's laughable because, every time you read it, you notice something you hadn't the last time.

To Your Eternity (anime) - This is the Grey's Anatomy equivalent in anime. Like, oh. You're emotionally constipated and need a good cry? Pick an episode at random. Watch a whole season if you're really about that life.

Sasaki to Miyano (manga/anime) - TBH I tied between this or Horimiya. They are not the same story but hold similar places in my heart. What I love about Sasaki to Miyano is how delicate it is. Yea, slow burn, whatever. But no, it just kind of gives Miyano space to come to terms with himself and Sasaki is the safety net that accepts him in all forms. Can love be this sweet?

Goodbye, Eri (manga) - Fujimoto is off the wall. Chainsaw Man is an excellent representation of that. Seemingly unfocused and always good for some sort of shock factor. I've been wanting to write, for some time, about how Fujimoto is like a trickster of a genie but I'll shelve that for the time being. Goodbye, Eri's disjointed narrative as if told in photographs and the art style which shows movement despite its static medium. It's a really elegant piece with a plot twist you don't see coming because, of course you don't. That, in fact, is part of the whole message of the story, isn't it?

Ranma 1/2 (anime) - Nostalgia. This was the first anime I ever watched that I locked into. It started me on a path of drawing, it encouraged me to seek out other shows.. this series is what started it all wayyy back then (okay, not that far back then, this was in the 00's). Tsundere x tsundere, yes but also just the immediate identification with characters who couldn't authentically be themselves because they kept bending and breaking under external pressures. I could very much relate and empathize even if the chaos of their universe was too fanciful for my own. Also, pretty sure Rumiko Takahashi is the longest running mangaka with consistent chapters in Shonen Jump for the last 40+ years is wild.

Vinland Saga (anime) - I honestly don't even know what to say about this story. But I think my favorite observation is a post I saw someone make where they wrote "No one will know the violence it took to become this gentle" with a picture of Thorfinn. And they were so poignantly right. Phenomenally twisted revenge story that is not at all satisfying. 10/10.

Link Clink (donghua) - This show is a vibe. If it hasn't been on a recommendation list yet, it's coming. The music, the art, the unfurling back story of the main characters as they untangle the lives of others? It manages to be both gutting and cerebral at the same time. Like every time I watch I'm like... I need to read the source material because the complexity of the concurrent storylines makes it such a head scratcher as to the larger plot.

Jujutsu Kaisen (anime/manga) - *Gestures vaguely to the rest of my blog.* We're still in the throes of how this story is going to play out which is nerve wracking and exciting for all its possibilities. I hold out a lot of hope that we'll see some stunning exposition in future chapters that we won't see coming.

Belle (anime) - It's just beautiful. 😘👌🏾 I talk a lot about my niece and nephew because I've turned them into my dorky little mini-me's. Also, being an aunt is like the best job. Belle is a movie that had them both gagged with the animation. If a show or series can get both of them to put their ipads, books, art supplies, etc. down, then I know I put them onto something special. Honestly, anything I enjoy with them makes it that much more special to me, personally.

This was lovely. I'll get back to posting lists soon, feel free to check out other recommendations!

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tenebrare · 1 year

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Assassins Creed - Juhani Otso Berg (sketch) + small fan-rant on subject of Assassins Creed.

Small attempt to try hand on Berg in case I might go try to doodle that dream of mine. After my dream I had posted about last time, I did re-read some of those AC comics and while my 2023 resolution was not to be negative, where it can be avoided, then I have to admit I am not biggest fan of the style or character redesigns of those comics. Those are not bad artists, who did the Templar comics, but some how they were hard to follow - style wise. Characters look either too alike, or too generic. I am also more used to European graphic novels, more than US styled comic books, maybe that has its impact too? I like more detailed art and above all consistency (so i'd recognize characters between panels, which isn't always case with AC Templar comics). Anyway, one thing I noticed that they redesigned Berg for comics and later used same redesign in AC:Odyssey, where mister Berg made a show up on funny Egyptian mythos inspired armor remake with no animal head helmet. And now he had become also bald. They went from typically Scandinavian blonde-guy look to more ... not that. Although one comic - test - redesigns of Berg was very Adam Jensen alike. That made me laugh. And then looking for some online references for Berg, I run across a blog that demanded more modern day parts and 3rd person playable character for those in AC games and I am like total opposite. I would like them to remove modern day parts completely or make them optional campaigns. I disliked every modern day part in Origins, Odyssey and Valhalla. And Valhalla was only game where modern day was short enough for me to suffer till end of that. I never completed Origins nor Odyssey because I really disliked playing modern day and I kind of eventually stopped logging to game, when I was facing modern day sequence I had no mood on given moment... yet again as well in Valhalla i did 0 of the bonus events because Eivor was changed to modern day character during those. So... less modern day campaigns in AC games, not more. ... even when I like Berg as my favorite modern day character.

#quick sketch #assassinscreed #assassins creed #assassin's creed #assassins creed art #assassins creed fanart #assassinscreedseries #juhani otso berg #fan rant #fanart friday #my fanart #rant #godkillthathastingscharacteralreadyheisannoyingashell #templar #ubisoft fanart #ubisoft #art by humans

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koolkat9 · 1 year

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🪞 for the hetalia asks?

get-to-know-you-better hetalia ask game! version 2.0

🪞do you have any physical appearance headcanons for your favourite character?

Oh yeah definitely!

I made a body headcanon post a little while back

But I'm going to add some things for some of my fav appearance headcanons I couldn't really draw.

Arthur: He's kind of scrawny and has that thing that no matter how much he seems to eat, he doesn't put on a lot of weight. Kind of bony too, like bony knuckles, etc. Boxy build. Completely covered in freckles. Sharp eyes only made sharper by his almost constant eye bags. A crooked nose. Like...fae like beauty type thing, not everyone's cup of tea.

Also he's got a tattoo on his inner thigh (roses and a guitar, basically based off the canon idea of his tattoo), on his lower back (I don't know what, but something with music I think), And one on his shoulder (I was thinking a rose type pattern, but I don't know since he already has that on his thighs but idk). He's got piercings too. One on each ear, one on his tongue and one on his naval. Also nipple peircings another place I can't really say on this blog.

Also I think he's trans so he's got top scars. He probably has some scars from wars as well but I can't think of where exactly they would be. I think there would be some lasting mark on his chest area from the Blitz, but that's the only specific one I have.

Two styles. Academia and punk. Sweater vests, cardigans and semi formal pants, or leather jackets, graphic tees, and ripped jeans. Sometimes some eyeliner if he's dressing more punk.

Francis: He's become chubby in modern time because he's not training for an endless chain of wars and has access to better food so he's indulging a bit. He's also always had a curvy hourglass esque shape. Covered in hair. Also I give him much longer hair, like reaching the lower part of his upper back.

They got an upturned nose, quite long lashes, round face. Full lips and a cupid's bow. And of course his stubble

He's got scars (lets be honest all nations have some form of scarring somewhere). The only specific idea I have is around his neck from the French Revolution. Also maybe one on his stomach/middle

Matthew: This boy has so much of Francis in him. I don't think nations are blood related, but by god these two look related. His hair isn't as long as Francis (Matt's is more at his shoulders) or the same shade of blond, but it's curly and soft like Francis's. But Matt's is always a little wilder since he doesn't care about his appearance as much as Fran. He's also go Fran's upturned nose and long lashes. Matt has these huge eyes, only made bigger by his glasses.

He's covered with freckles, though they're lighter than Arthur's so people don't always notice unless they're up close. He's got body hair, but it's quite light and also hard to see.

Body type wise, he's taller than Al. Either just as broad or a little less broad than Al, muscley, but he also has a nice layer of fat and a bit of a tummy. But all this is hidden by his sweat shirts.

Speaking of sweatshirts, most of his closet consists of mainly sweaters/sweat-shirts, graphic tees, joggers and jeans.

Dylan: He isn't drawn yet but I have many thoughts. He's either the same height as Arthur or slightly shorter. Got to keep up the trend of the oldest siblings being short (ex. Gil, Roma). He's also kind of chubby and has a baby face, but also some muscle because he's into rugby and stuff. So kind of like Matt without the height (though I think Dylan has a bit more chub to him than Matt)

Like Arthur, and frankly the rest of the British Isles, he's got all kinds of freckles. His eyes are rather soft and round unlike his siblings which are sharper and more intense.

He's also got a few ear piercings and nipple piercings.

Wardrobe mainly wooly cardigans and sweaters, semi formal pants and sometimes jeans.

Kateryna: Also not drawn yet, but lot's of thoughts. She's got all the curves. Also chubby (do you see how much I love adding chub to characters? Probably because I'm plus size lol) . Also she is tall. Like really tall. Taller than some of the men.

She's got a round faced, a bit of a bigger nose, gentle eyes. But don't let her soft appearance fool you, she's got the muscles (and also the height) to easily deck someone if needed.

She mainly dresses in sweaters, though wears dresses when it's warm enough. She has to get clothes custom made though to fit her height and bust in a way that's

#hetalia #hws england #hws france #hws canada #hws ukraine #hws wales #hetalia ask game #hetalia asks

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nickmaghighlights · 1 year

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Nick Mag Highlights - #150 March 2009

Salutations everyone, and welcome to another chewy edition of Nick Mag Highlights. Today we’ll be reading through Nickelodeon Magazine #150, from March 2009!

First off, I’d like to apologize for the time since my last NMH post. I'm still trying to work out a proper schedule for this blog that makes sure I’m able to get these posts out at a consistent but manageable rate. Anyway, on with the show!

This cover is resoundingly familiar to me (yes, I dare even say nostalgic).

It’s a classic bit of SpongeBob fare, which was indeed a largely familiar sight for Nickelodeon Magazine covers following SpongeBob SquarePants’ release and subsequent generation-defining popularity. For reference, 2009 saw the release of the show’s sixth season. Man, time flies!

Speaking of 2009, that was also the year that saw the unfortunate end of Nickelodeon Magazine in November. Being honest, that does sort of add a sad twinge to these issues for me, but I’ll set that aside for the sake of unbiased, uh, retrospecting! (Is that a word?)

You can find the full issue here. Feel free to read along with me, if you’re so inclined!

Let’s see what’s on the menu today… Y’know I always get excited whenever the theme of the issue is something more on the oddly-specific side, like “Friends and Enemies”. You wouldn’t expect a whole magazine of content could be squeezed out of something like that, but that’s what makes it so interesting.

I’m most interested to see how stoic, harpoon-wielding Mr. Krabs ties into all this, especially with the theming. What do you think: friend or foe?

Holy moly, these credits couldn’t be more 2009 if they tried! Ah man, as fun as it was to make fun of Facebook moms back in the day (or, more specifically, watch Smosh make fun of Facebook moms back in the day), but funnily enough I think I now envy that sort of online innocence.

But forget about that! The Kids’ Choice Awards is nearly here! Actually, forget about that. There’s a new iCarly special coming out! Wait, no no no, forget about all of that! There’s a new episode of… uh, The Naked Brothers Band… coming out. Yay? On second thought, never mind, forget about that instead. The first two were way more exciting.

Woah, hey now! Aren’t we getting a bit ahead of ourselves here? The calendar was never this early on in any of the previous issues I’ve covered on this blog so far. I wonder what prompted the format change?

Speaking of change, I see they changed the instructions, too. I’m supposed to put this in a binder now? Who keeps a calendar in a binder? Besides, whenever I’ve had to use a binder for school or what-have-you, I’ve always had to use multiple binders. So I’d need a calendar for each binder, lest I be caught without a way to tell what day I’m even living in! This is madness!

Er, anyway, I can’t help but feel they might have been stretching for stuff to put in the March calendar this year. I mean, nothing against vitamins of course. Or even vitamin facts, for that matter! But I’m not sure they make the best calendar theme.

I would like to give a shoutout to this absolute fashionista on page 7 here. Sorry for all the 3D-printed BFF bling you’d have to make to properly steal her style.

Well isn’t this cute? But don’t let your guard down! It’s still just as much of a puzzle as any other puzzle… And when it comes to Nick that means it’s pretty easy, and this quest to spot the fake story is no different.

Now I know I sound arrogant, but I will admit I wasn’t always such a whiz-kid! I’m pretty sure when I read this section back in the day I didn’t even notice it was supposed to be a puzzle, so I just took all these stories at face-value. Now, I’m smarter. Now, I can recognize a suspiciously flat, edited-in emu and can compare it to all the other dynamic and much harder to fake photos.

Now, I haven’t even actually checked the answer by the time of writing this, so maybe the fake story is actually the hamster and snake, who knows. I’d sure have egg on my face, wouldn’t I?

Call me crazy, but is that Homer Simpson and Bart in the bottom left near the trash can?

You know what I say, two pages spent on some Where’s Waldo?-style picture puzzle action is nary two pages wasted (I always say that). And this one’s a fun concept! I actually got distracted while writing this trying to find all the different situations that fit the BFF acronym.

Now, I usually try to shed some light on the wonderful people responsible for Nick Magazine’s distinct art, but I’m actually hard-pressed to find much on Andrew Brisman, the artist behind these pages. Searching him online seems to just unearth a couple of gambling guide books written under the same name. And, regardless of whether or not that’s the same Brisman, I’m more interested in finding credits that are more relevant to what we’re talking about today.

So in that regard, the most I could find was that an Andrew Brisman did work as an editor on Dark Horse Comics’ Avatar: The Last Airbender - The Lost Adventures series. I’m inclined to believe that’s our guy, since a DeviantArt post from a former Nickelodeon Magazine editor indicates Brisman as previously working as a co-editor for an issue of Nickelodeon Magazine centered around the same show.

So yeah! Not every one of these artists is going to be so easy to find, but it’s nice to give credit where credit is due. I wish the best for Brisman, maybe he's doing something for those three new Avatar: The Last Airbender movies in development, eh?

I suppose this is a good way for kids to get the lowdown on all the famous media rivalries they probably already know about. I suppose the real engaging part is trying to figure out what the numbers on the Fight-o-Meter mean.

Also, is it really necessary to spoil The Empire Strikes Back’s twist like that? I get it’s an old movie, but c’mon, there’s presumably kids reading who didn’t know yet.

I can’t be too critical though, since according to the website of the writer behind this section, she wrote this during an internship at Nick Magazine. Everyone’s gotta start somewhere!

Time for some pull-out pranks! Well, one prank and two small inspirational posters. It’s always weird for me whenever I’m reminded that old meme format in the top left used to just be a poster format people used regularly.

And here we come across a beautiful cover done by the artist Theo Ellsworth to start off this issue’s Comic Book. If you’d like to check out more of his stuff, it seems your best venue is his Blogger site and Tumblr blog, although they’re seemingly no longer active.

Got to shed some spotlight on Scene but Not Heard once again. I may have brushed it off to the side in the last post but I think that’s a habit I picked up from childhood. Since this comic was so consistent I ended up glossing over it back in the day since I knew it was always going to be there. But in hindsight, that’s really not giving this comic and its creator Sam Henderson enough credit. It must not have been easy coming up with such entertaining, imaginative illustrations consecutively for more than fifteen years! Or maybe it was, I dunno. They’re funny either way.

(Also hello down there, Impy! Man, I love that little guy!)

Oh boy, time for another introduction! Grampa and Julie: Shark Hunters was a serialized comic created for Nickelodeon Magazine by Jef Czekaj, which ran from 1999 all the way to the magazine’s cancellation. It follows a young girl named Julie and her scientist Grampa as they do the, y’know, eponymous shark hunting. Mischief also ensues, I’m pretty sure.

This comic wasn’t really one of my favorites growing up, and this incredibly wordy two-pager that’s really just setting up for a presumably much more action-packed installment next month isn’t really doing much to change my mind on that. But hey, maybe this is just a bad example. Shark Hunters still had (has?) its fans! The Letters to the Editors section of this issue actually includes a message from a reader begging for the return of this comic, as it apparently had gone on a short hiatus. I hope it was everything they wanted!

Now, that would be all, but there’s a bit more history to go over. In 2006, Klasky Csupo (the company behind Rugrats, The Wild Thornberrys, and Aaahh!!! Real Monsters, among others) produced a ten-minute pilot based on Grampa and Julie: Shark Hunters, and pitched it to Nickelodeon as a potential series. As we know now, the pilot wasn’t picked up. But you can check it out here:

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It definitely surprises me how much of a departure in art style and tone this is from the majority of Klasky Csupo's other projects, but I do appreciate them replicating the comic's memorable look. What also surprises me is the casting of Academy Award-winning actor Dustin Hoffman (Kramer vs. Kramer, Rain Man, Kung Fu Panda) as the voice of Grampa! It's definitely an unexpected choice, and it makes me wonder if he would've stayed on the project had the series actually gotten picked up.

Coming up next is a nice little SpongeBob Squarepants comic. It’s fun to see Sandy and SpongeBob get competitive and the colors are quite nice. Not much to say, but hey, it's nice.

Eventually, due to the rising popularity of video games in the mainstream, Nickelodeon Magazine saw fit to start incorporating a video game-themed section in their issues to give the gaming populace what they wanted. From my memory, these usually consisted of cheat codes and tips, or sometimes a rundown on whatever new Nickelodeon games were coming out at the time. Here we’ve got ourselves a comedic writeup on how some video game characters feel about their best and worst players. It's a funny idea and the illustrations are nice, but I particularly can't get over the absolute verbal thrashing Mario gives to an 8-year old girl in the bottom left section.

Also this just came to mind, but aren't all these characters essentially doxxing their players here? Let this be a lesson on why you should always read the Terms & Conditions.

See, I told you that we’d be seeing more SpongeBob in this issue! (Don’t fact check that).

But yeah, 2009 minus 1999 is indeed 10, and Nickelodeon was all-in on capitalizing on their mascot’s milestone anniversary. This celebration eventually culminated in the premiere of an hour-long special episode titled Truth or Square, but on these pages here we can see an example of one of the off-shoot promotions also coinciding with the celebration.

Starting in March (for some reason) and ending at an unspecified month, Nickelodeon challenged fans with various SpongeBob-themed puzzles, available both in-print and online. The answers to these puzzles would then be utilized to unlock the password to a special “digital prize”. Now, I am having difficulty finding out just how long this promotion lasted for or what the digital prize even was, but I’m willing to guess it was a funky desktop wallpaper. If anyone knows anything about this challenge or the digital prize, I’d love to hear it! Feel free to send a message and I’d be happy to include an update on the blog.

And hey, even if this promotion is close to reaching its 15-year anniversary now, we can still appreciate the art for this issue’s puzzle, which depicts a scene similar to an episode from the show’s third season, “Clams”.

Pretty funny designs for this batch of contest submissions. Readers must have been drowning in anticipation during the seven month-long period between the opening of this contest in August of 2008 and the actual results here in March of 2009. I appreciate giving the kids all the time they need to hone their craft.

Got a favorite? I personally am quite fond of the Spikesicle, it definitely stands out amongst its slimy contemporaries. The Man-wich Sundae is pretty good too. I think it have wings?

Holy moly, Spectacular! And not just Spectacular!, but a tear-out poster and a backside that features everything you need to know about the members of the band and their real-life actors! This is so cool!

…Wait, what the heck is Spectacular!?

Yeah, sorry, but this really is not ringing any bells. And let me remind you, I had this issue as a kid, so I must have read this at some point! I guess my young eyes must’ve just inherently glazed over when it happened upon teen bands. Sorry to any Spectacular! fans who may be reading.

Uh, hm… In regards to anything else to say on the subject… Let's see…

That’s the girl from Victorious, isn’t it? Victoria Justice? She seems familiar, yeah…

Ooh, look on the right! They’re making a show about the penguins from that Madagascar movie! Cool!

Holy moly, the Disrepectoids. Such a strange marketing stunt from the likes of a juice box brand ended up giving way to a very short-lived but incredibly memorable childhood fascination for me. Essentially the whole thing was based around these live-action commercials that each showcased a scenario of a kid beating up, destroying, or otherwise causing grief to their helpless Capri Sun juice pouch. Said kid would then pay the price by being turned into a freak called a Disrepectoid, with each kid sporting a different affliction based on the disrespect they gave their pouch. Here’s one of the first commercials, showcasing the origin of the Disrepectoid featured at the forefront of this page, Bobblehead Fred:

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Never really understood how hitting a pouch with a baseball bat links with getting turned into a bobblehead. Shouldn’t he get a baseball bat head instead, or something?

This promotion also included a plethora of Flash games and online cartoons hosted on a dedicated website, featuring stylized renderings of the kids from the commercials. Capri Sun obviously wanted this to be a big deal, seeing as how this was a whole magazine page advertising the airing of a commercial. But hey, I bought into it, and to be honest I couldn't really tell you why nowadays. Maybe I just liked the artstyle?

If you want an idea on how big I was into this, I could genuinely make a whole post just on these guys. Too bad they’re not a magazine!

Anyway, the whole thing lasted about two or three years I’m pretty sure, before Capri Sun shelved the concept and went back to being a drink for kids who play sports or something, I dunno. Still, for the short time it was around I found the Disrespectoids brand incredibly imaginative and engaging.

Another issue in the bag! It was fun doing another Nick Mag from my childhood. Hopefully it was fun to read, too! As might be able to tell, this was definitely a trip down memory lane.

Anyway, in regards to my schedule. I was thinking of shifting to something bi-weekly (of the every two weeks variety, not twice a week). Take a look:

So yeah! Hopefully this will allow me to stay refreshed and still keep making stuff people want to see. This blog is already growing bigger than I would've expected and I've gotten nice feedback from people who appreciate Nickelodeon Magazine just like I do. I'm excited to see where this blog goes, and thank you to everyone who's here to see it!

Have a great day, and as always, keep reading!

#nmh post #2000s #2009 #nickelodeon #magazine #spongebob squarepants

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pageandpanel · 7 months

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Or, A Retrospective Quest to Find my Favorite Book

(originally posted @ Page and Panel on wordpress)

For anyone who considers themselves a “reader,” there is a single question that we all dread being asked but secretly love answering. What is your favorite book? Do you have a few books on hand to rattle off at a moments notice or do you shrug and say that you don’t have one? Do you tailor your answer to the person asking the question or you have a single, absolute, definitive favorite that you sing the praises of any time you’re given the chance? I, like most people I’m sure, have given different variations of these answers over the years along with dozens of others. Realistically, if you ask me this question my answer will change given the time of day, my mood, and the direction of the winds. And that’s totally fine. But I’m trying to generate content here so I want to interrogate this question a little. Or a lot.

Baby’s First Bookstagram Post ^

I started actively tracking my reading in 2017 on Instagram. Scroll all the way down on my page if you want to see some truly uninspired photography, but also if you want to be shocked at how consistently I posted when I was using that as my primary tracking method. I have a nearly infallible log of everything I’ve read in the last five years. According to Goodreads, I’ve read a total of 688 books between January 1st, 2017 and December 4, 2021. That’s absolutely more books read in the last five years than in the entire rest of my previous 25 years of life. That’s a lot of content to condense into such a small span of time and I already know my brain hasn’t retained all of it.

Running the numbers like this has left me with two questions I want to explore:

How many of these books do I actually remember?

Which of these books is actually my favorite?

And that’s what this series of blog posts is going to explore. I am going to be re-examining books I’ve read and logged, maybe dipping in to re-read or skim a few here and there to see if my opinion has changed. I want to see how actively I have been reading over the years, or if I’ve truly gotten sucked into the social media gamification of reading where I’m just burning through books to hit a goal. And, because I love a list, I’m going to be ranking the books I revisit in a quest to figure out which is my definitive favorite. Or if such a thing even exists.

Where was I in January of 2017? Well, let’s check the caption on my very first official “bookstagram” post:

“2016 was a trash fire in the middle of a shit storm for me. So one of my goals this year is to read more and to read every day. Earlier today, I decided I might as well chronicle this effort on Instagram. So here is the pile of stuff I read yesterday.” (JANUARY 2, 2017)

Yeah so that about sums it up. I was struggling to recover from the gut punch that was the 2020 election (still recovering), dragging myself through my last two semesters of college (remember not having student loan payments?) , and working full time at my local comic store (still the best job I’ve ever had). I think it hit me that over the previous few years I had only really been reading books for class–English Major life–and comics because that was my life at the time. And I really wanted to expand my reading life. Thus, I started logging my books and trying to read a little every day. The first few books I finished that year were actually comics so bare with me.

Book One: Midnighter and Apollo

written by Steve Orlando with art by Fernando Blanco.

Let me start off by explaining that the way I’ve tracked my comics over the years is by bundling single issues (aka the 20 page floppy magazine style books that come out every week) as they are released in trade paperbacks (aka graphic novels that collect 5-7 single issues in a single bound book). i feel like doing it this way gives me a more realistic number at the end of the year, given I read hundreds of 20-ish page comics a year.

Midnighter and Apollo is Steve Orlando’s follow up miniseries to his run on Midnighter (Vol 2 2015-2016). I’ll be the first to admit that I am not a big DC comics reader. I have a few characters that I like to dip in and out of whenever they show up in books, but I grew up on Marvel and never really made the jump to being a fully dedicated DC fan. However, this was an era of DC comics that I actually really loved and Midnighter is one of those characters that will always get me to pick up a book. The incredibly reductive elevator pitch for Midnighter as a character is that he’s Gay Murder Batman. And if you’re not on board with that, then you’re on the wrong blog, my friend.

I absolutely loved Orlando’s run on Midnighter and this miniseries was just as thrilling. The basic plot, without giving too much away and without digging into all of the minutiae of a character written inconsistently for the last 11 years, is a To Hell and Back For Love kinda story. Apollo is abducted and Midnighter has to fight his way through literal Hell (fire and brimstone actual Hell, not metaphorical hell) to get him back.

The book reunited the couple who had been married in 2002 but separated and largely absent from comics for the last few years. Coming off a run of comics that I loved, I think I was a little annoyed by the reunion and then unceremonious shelving of these characters after this series. Particularly because 2015 had been kind of a good year for gay comics. Midnighter was having a good active run, consistently showing up in Grayson (Nightwing’s comic when he was a spy for a minute) as well as having his own title. Over at Marvel, Iceman would come out as gay in November of the same year. Not quite as groundbreaking as back to back bisexual Robin and Superman 2.0 announcements, but we were still begging for crumbs in mainstream comics back then. It was fun to pick up a comic every month and watch a gay man have to leave a Tinder date to go murder a bad guy. But Midnighter and Apollo reset the character to a status quo with most queer characters of the time.

Instead of letting a queer character be single, date around, and live their lives like many straight characters are allowed to do, gay characters in superhero comics tend to be coupled up and desexualized to the point that their can easily be overlooked by people who don’t want to see it. Northstar of Alpha Flight and X-Men was married to his partner, a human dude named Kyle, in Astonishing X-Men #51 (2012) in the first gay marriage in superhero comics. Post-wedding, the two rarely appeared in comics until very recently. Additionally, everyone’s favorite gay couple at Marvel–Wiccan and Hulkling–have been together since their very first appearance in Young Avengers Vol 1 in 2005. After their initial appearance in that series, they wouldn’t be seen again with any regularity until Young Avengers Vol 2 in 2013. Consistently, gay men at the time were coupled up and pushed out of major story lines to cater to an assumed straight male comics readership.

Obviously I’m never going to be mad about happy gay couples living their happy gay lives, but this desexualization of queer men to make them more palatable felt like a step back for the direction Midnighter had been going in his own series. I also think that it’s important to note that Steve Orlando is a queer man who has written almost exclusively queer comics. I also don’t know how much publisher influence there was over the decision to put the couple back together verses how much Orlando actually wanted this couple to be together. Regardless of my skepticism and whatever decisions were made by who, I did end up loving this six issue run of comics. I was already pretty committed to reading everything Orlando wrote, but this cemented it for me. This isn’t the last of his comics that will pop up throughout this project. I am also always on the look out for new Midnighter content. In 2021 he found his way back to the spotlight in at least two comics: DC Pride #1 and Midnighter Annual #1.

When I read this originally, I gave it 4 stars on Goodreads and I think that’s still a pretty solid rating. I know it’s going to rank somewhere in the middle of my extremely top heavy list. Overall, I highly recommend this series to anyone interested in getting into queer DC comics, but I would also advise starting with with the original series, Midnighter (2015) as well as Grayson (2015) by Tom King, Tim Seeley, and Mikel Janín. I definitely want to carve out some time to revisit both of these series in the very near future to see how they hold up and where they will rank on the list.

BOOK TWO: SHADE THE CHANGING GIRL

written by Cecil Castellucci with art by Marley Zarcone

Unlike Midnighter and Apollo, this is an ongoing series rather than just a mini-series. As I said earlier, for the purpose of logging comics, I bundle them in as they’re collected in trades. So, Midnighter and Apollo is issues #1-6 for the complete story. Most comics on this list are going to be broken up into similarly sized chunks, but will have multiple volumes. So, Shade the Changing Girl has a Volume 1 (collecting issues 1-6) and a Volume 2 (issues 7-13). For the purposes of this project though, I’m counting all 13 issues as a single story, and will treat most runs of comics the same way. Every new #1 is a new story, etc etc. Hopefully that’s enough explaining my own process for this post.

Cecil Castellucci draws just enough from the original series to capture the utter madness of Milligan and Bachalo’s Shade, but create such a fascinating character in Loma that you don’t actually need to read the original series to get deeply invested in this new one (which is probably for the best because I doubt Shade the Changing Man holds up). And Marley Zarcone’s art is beautiful and creates the perfect atmosphere to tell this weird ass story. I can’t tell you how many times I sat down with these issues and ended up just staring at the art. And in Volume 2, there’s a breathtakingly beautiful issue drawn by Margurite Sauvage, one of my all time favorite artists.

I honestly don’t think Loma has popped up in any comics since the sequel to this series, Shade the Changing Woman (we’ll get to it), which is a shame because I would buy literally anything else with her on the cover. I also really miss this era of comics. Vertigo has made every attempts at a comeback since the glory days in the 90s. Young Animals, I think, is the closest they ever got. After a first phase of comics (they’ll all be on the list at some point) that all lasted about 12 issues, a cross over event, and then a second phase of 5-6 issue mini series, the entire Young Animal imprint was scrapped and DC attempted to revitalize the Vertigo brand. None of those books ever took off (and none of them were very good) and DC has since scrapped the entire like altogether in favor of their “Black Label” imprint. In my opinion, Young Animal is the closest DC ever got to the classic Vertigo books I was obsessed with in high school. But money talks and sales for his books never really took off. I think we sold 5 or 6 issues of Shade ever week, despite my best effort to hand sell it. So pour one out for Gerard Way and his weird comics.

Unsurprising, I gave both installments of this series 5 stars and I stand by that. I can’t recommend this highly enough and it’s definitely getting ranked above Midnighter and Apollo. Seriously, I’m sure you can find the back issues of this so cheap in any comic store dollar bin or on Comixology for a discount. Even if you’re not a big comic reader, this one and it’s sequel are perfectly self-contained stories and absolutely worth checking out.

BOOK TWO: ARISTOTLE AND DANTE DISCOVER THE SECRETS OF THE UNIVERSE

by Benjamin Alire Sáenz

Finally! An actual novel. I promise the comics thin themselves out in 2018 when I stop working at the comic store.

What is there to be said about Aristotle and Dante that hasn’t already been covered by anyone who has ever read a book? Seriously, you’ve all read this right? I don’t need to talk you into it. Somehow I had made it to 25 without reading this absolute classic of a Queer YA novel. I’ve actually been meaning to reread this one all year and haven’t quite gotten around to it. Maybe it will be the next book I pick up and we can end this year on a high note.

Aristotle and Dante is the story of two very different boys from two very different backgrounds. And against the odds, they form an incredible bond, becoming close friends and eventually something more. One of my favorite things about this book, and one of the things I think about constantly when I read other queer stories, is the relationship between Aristotle and his parents. Aristotle is going through a turbulent time of self-discovery, trying to figure out the kind of person he’s going to be. And there is never a point in the story in which his parents, specifically his father, abandon him in that journey. It’s exhausting to see queer teens in stories abandoned, neglected, or abused by their families. Seeing that love on the page remain strong and unquestioning, especially as they come to a collective realization about the person Aristotle is growing up to be, is deeply affirming and refreshing.

I didn’t grow up with ready access to a lot of queer media, especially media aimed at younger audiences. I learned about gay things like every other middle school kid in the early 2000s: on Degrassi: The Next Generation and roleplaying X-Men characters on Xanga. And as an adult, I don’t read a ton of YA but I will almost always pick up anything queer. I love that these books are available to kids as they learn about themselves. And more than anything I love the care with which Sáenz handles these characters and their lives. You can feel his affection for Ari and Dante in every word. This is a book that is swelling with emotion invites readers to really feel their own vulnerability along with these characters.

I have this as a 5 star read. Fantastic call on my part. Of the books entering the list today, this is the one that I feel the most emotional attachment towards so I’m slipping it in at the number one spot. I wish I had more to say about this book except that I absolutely adore it and I can’t wait to read the sequel (waiting for the paperback release so my books match is so stressful). If this has been sitting on your TBR for a while bump it up to the top. For now, I’ll leave you with a quote I took a picture of for instagram that I do think about pretty regularly. It feels like a fresh gut punch every time I read it.

WRAPPING IT UP

Okay so the fun part of all of this is coming out with a ranked list of books I’ve read. Okay maybe that’s just fun for me. I’m going to keep a running google doc list and insert the books I talk about wherever I think they should go on the list. This one is going to be pretty easy, since the only books entering the list are the three I talked about in this post.

There’s not a ton to wrap up on the first installment in this project. Nothing super controversial here. Just one popular YA book that everyone has read and two comic series no one has read. I’m excited to see how this pans out and where I land on books I haven’t thought about in a while. Next time I have two more comic series and one of my all time favorite novels to add to the list. The next few posts are going to be pretty comics heavy, so hopefully no one is totally put off by that content. I promise, they fade out by the end of the year.

#midnighter and apollo #shade the changing girl #aristotele and dante #bookblr #books and reading #too all the books

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sortasirius · 3 years

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What the Fuck Happened to the SPN Finale?

Okay so here it is, my Charlie Kelly style manifesto.

Before I get into it, I recognize that I will look like this to many of you, and that’s okay, I understand:

Secondly, your personal Takes about the writers don’t interest me, I don’t need to hear them. This, as I’ll explain, is going to remain a writer positive blog, and that’s the end of it.

Third, and most importantly: some of what I’m going to talk about is fact, and some is highly educated speculation. I will notate what is speculation, just so there’s no confusion or hot takes in my inbox that I’m a conspiracy theorist or stirring shit up for no reason.

A list of what I’ll be discussing

The episode in regards to the rest of the season

The episode issues: length, editing

Scene placement and speculation of scenes cut

The scrubbing of Jack, Cas, Eileen

Network involvement and general timeline of when things were cut

Misha: theories on where he was, official company line, why we can’t expect to hear anything directly

The silence of the cast post episode (in Misha’s case, mid episode) and what this might mean

Jensen speaking with Kripke about the ending: why it doesn’t mean what you might think (also why kripke remained positive on the ending)

Walker, and why this episode had a major shift

Why the network would do this or get involved

Why the writers of the show simply aren’t the bad guys here, and what I “want” out of this post, since I know it’ll get asked

This is very long and under a cut, but I hope you’ll give it a read.

The Episode In Regards to the Rest of the Season

So, I’ve discussed this already here, but it’s the most obvious thing to me, and that’s the way this episode simply doesn’t fit with the rest of the season.

These people in this room have, truly, been nothing but consistent when it comes to their arcs, especially this season, and the marked dropoff in quality for the finale episode is just too sus to discount to me. Dabb’s whole focus has been character-based. In his seasons, we’ve moved far away from MOTW and bro-codependency, the found family taking it’s place. Does it really sit right to anyone that that was all thrown away in literally the last episode of the entire show?

This is speculation on my part, but as a writer myself, there is no way I would be happy or willing to stamp my name on something that I didn’t think would, at the very least, wrap up the season+ character arcs that I and my team had been crafting.

And before anyone comes in here saying, “well GOT did that!” Bruh. The writing was on the wall for GOT long before the final episode. You could tell that the showrunners just wanted to be done (not only from the plot, but from the fact that they lobbied for a shorter season). Miss me with that, it doesn’t apply here. Andrew has, besides Singer and J2, been with the show longer than anyone. He cares, he is meticulous and detailed, and this ending feels worse than anything Bucklemming has ever written, let alone Dabb.

Additionally, I’ve seen a lot of people say that Dabb was never behind Destiel, that it was all Bobo and Meredith and no one else. That is reductive to the point of insult of the work Dabb has done to get this greenlit. This man did not write the s13 Dean grief arc to be slandered like this. That being said, YES, Bobo and Meredith were the leads on the DeanCas arc this season, but ANDREW IS THE SHOWRUNNER, TO GET EVEN THE CONFESSION APPROVED BY THE NETWORK HE WOULD HAVE TO HAVE THEIR BACKS. AND HE DID.

Finale Issues

So, now that we’ve gotten the fact that this episode doesn’t hit on any of the major themes the show was barrelling towards all season, let’s discuss the fact that the episode is just...weird.

Not only is it shorter than any other episode (I think with the intro and the credits/crew thing at the end, it was around 38 mins), but it was also...idk, 90% filler?

One of the lovely humans in the POLOL server did the legwork here, and broke it down:

This is weird, y’all. Most series finales are LONGER than normal (Lost, SOA, Longmire are the ones I can think of off the top of my head), and for the final episode to be this? I saw more than one person point out that we only really needed 19 episodes, what was the point of 20? AND THAT’S EXACTLY IT? WHAT WAS THE POINT OF THIS FINAL EPISODE IF THIS WAS ALL WE WERE SUPPOSED TO GET?

It simply doesn’t make any sense, the first half of the episode was rushed, a final monster hunt gone wrong, but in the second half? Nothing really happened? Sam lived his entire life and Dean just drove around. It doesn’t make sense to have all the emotional arcs left unaddressed in an episode that definitely needed some kind of spark.

Here’s the speculation I have: the episode seemingly went through a lot of changes between the initial inception of the final season and when we actually got it, but I think it would have been passable (as in, we wouldn’t be sitting here asking each other why each arc feels incomplete) until the editing room got ahold of it. The only think that makes this episode make sense is network fuckery. Truly, that is the only thing. It explains the weird, cuts, the rushed pacing of the first half followed by nothing in the second half, the double montages of “Wayward Son” back to back, and Dean just...driving around for the last half of the episode.

Scene Placement and Speculation of Scenes Cut

Before I get into this section, the info of the shots in the episode I have come from a source that @occamshipper got a week or so before the finale. She’s talked about this here.

So here’s what Min was given:

1-5: 1 INT MEN OF LETTERS – DEAN’S ROOM Dean is greeted by Miracle

6-10: 6 INT MEN OF LETTERS – HALLWAY/SAM’S ROOM Sam has his routine

D1 1 11-15: 15 EXT FARM HOUSE Establishing

N1 1/8 16-20: 19 Dad’s journal, marker, drawing of masked man in journal.

21-25: 23 INT IMPALA – PMP Driver picks the music

N2 1 3/8 1,2 26-30: 28pt2 INT BARN: A face from the past

28pt3 Sam and Dean say goodbye

28pt4 Shot early for technical reasons, presumably the overhead shot

N2 31-45: 41 INT MEN OF LETTERS – SAM’S ROOM Sam’s alarm goes off D4 1/8 1 46-60: 56 INT N7glasses for Sam, laptop.

So...it all fits right? It all tracks with the actual episode, where it lands, etc. The issue is between shots 29-40 which were apparently “too big to spoil.” Uh. Where are they? And where’s 28 pt4?

After Dean dies, the next scene is Sam burning him, then shot 31, the shot of his alarm going off.

So. Where are those 11ish shots?

PLUS we have the boards, which are scenes we KNOW were actually shot:

As well as scenes for 20 that were shot in 19.

It’s just...weird, it’s weird and again hits on the fact that the episode is so short and like 80% montage.

The Scrubbing of Jack, Cas, and Eileen

So now we have to reckon with the fact that Eileen was last mentioned by Sam after she got snapped by Chuck, Jack’s last mention is that he’s off being God somewhere, and Cas’ last mention is a ~knowing look~ between Dean and Bobby.

I’m sorry, make it make sense:

???????? That’s the end if it? They don’t need to be discussed after this??? It’s just simply not something a writer would do, they would not introduce these characters, these arcs, without thinking there’s going to be some kind of follow through here.

So not only were three major characters (including two leads and both of the original characters’ love interests) completely wiped from the finale episode, it was as though Sam and Dean never even needed them, which just...ain’t it.

So why Eileen and Jack too? Why not just take Cas out of it if they were afraid of the gay? Because, ultimately, the episode went back to Kripke’s original story: just the bros, they only need each other and no one else. They don’t want anyone else, they don’t need anyone else. Easier to go back to something they knew was successful than trust the writers and their audience and take a big leap.

Alex even said he shot for 20 with “some of the guys” here. What happened to that footage?

The complete 180 of it all still shocks me, I still cannot believe that we were essentially at the finish line, and the network just stopped short, and decided to go run another race, at the expense of the arc of this fifteen year legacy show.

Network Involvement and When Things Were Cut

Okay, now into the juicy stuff.

So I’ve pretty well established that network fuckery is clear, but how much did they get involved, what was the original intent?

Well again, we may never actually know what Andrew’s original script was, but I think, at the least, it would involve Dean speaking his truth to Cas and Sam living a life with Eileen.

Now, it seems today, that Misha said that Jimmy Novak was supposed to be in the finale in one iteration of the script, and while initially my brain was like “that truly makes no sense and he’s either straight up lying or telling a half truth,” I think what may be happening is Misha talking about as much as he can right now.

So Jimmy right. Weird as fuck. Why would he been in the Roadhouse and not Cas? My current thought (this is about as reachy as I’ll get) is that Jimmy had no lines, could he have been in the Roadhouse as a red herring, like it said “Jimmy” in the script but it was just Cas in human clothes, a way to get around the network saying Cas couldn’t be in the final scene. Also, you’ll notice that Misha didn’t say that Cas wasn’t supposed to be in the ep at all, just Jimmy in the last scene.

All this to say, there have clearly been multiple versions of the script, getting lighter and lighter with Cas and Eileen as the network pulled further and further back. Remember, Dabb has to get things approved before they get shot, and if the network kept asking and asking and asking to cut Cas and Eileen, he had to find a way to work around it. Granted, I still think that if we had been able to get a Dabb script that wasn’t torn to shreds in editing, it wouldn’t be so bad. It may not be what a lot of us wanted (Dean speaking his truth to Cas and a reciprocation), but doing everything he could to give it to us in subtext or visual clues.

Plus, in all honesty, my man can’t keep his story straight anyway. He said twice in his panel that the Empty and offscreen Heaven ending weren’t his original ending either.

In addition, remember that Jensen did ADR post episode 18, AND said in a meet and greet last weekend that Dean’s reaction to Cas’ confession was “cut down.” (Source here). Many of us clowns got excited when we first heard about ADR, because we thought it would be upping the ante on Dean’s reaction, but I remember being a little sus when it was just crying. My speculation on that is that they cut out Dean actually SAYING something, @winchestersingerautorepair spoke about that here.

The biggest sins were, in my opinion, committed during editing, where the network got too gun shy and sliced the episode until it was nothing but a heartless bro-fest of a finale, not mentioning anything about the other major characters that we all love, and letting the boys just suffer in separation until Sam died and finally joined Dean in Heaven. The editing came by cutting all the major emotional beats between anyone other than Dean and Sam, leaving the skeleton of the story intact, just shorter and less...poignant than it was ever supposed to be.

Misha

We know Misha was in Vancouver, we know he quarantined, but we also know he wasn’t in the final scene, when he spoke about being in the last moment of the show months ago. We were not crazy, he was there, he quarantined, and, in all likelihood (speculation but fitting with the timeline), he actually may have shot something (not much, but something).

I have sources here, here, here, and here showing where Misha was at that time.

Remember, the man was completely open about coming back until they finished shooting (look at this thread). The switch happened, just like everything else, halfway through them shooting.

Please also remember Jake Abel posting his “Where’s Misha” video here. Jake isn’t malicious, he isn’t being nasty here. Misha was there, and everyone that’s trying to convince people he’s wasn’t just...isn’t telling the truth about it.

This is one of the things that makes me really mad, because they’re literally attempting to gaslight people into thinking, “oh we were totally wrong he was never supposed to be there” WHEN HE WAS THERE, WE KNOW HE WAS THERE.

So we’ve already heard from several people (Meghan Fitzmartin, Jay, a PA on the set of 19 (WHO WAS NOT WORKING FOR 20), Misha himself) that this was all down to Covid restrictions. Ultimately, as this post says, we’ve heard FIVE versions of where Misha was. None of it makes sense, but the Covid protocol seems to be the company line that others are repeating.

You may ask: why? Why lie to all of us when we have questions? Why, in Jay’s case, say that we’re all spreading false lies to stir up trouble, when we just have questions and things that do not make sense. Simply? Warner Brothers is absolutely massive. These people have their careers to protect and are likely all under NDAs. They want to work for WB again and don’t want to burn bridges, including Misha. It sucks, but that’s why it’s unlikely that we’ll hear someone come out and say, “yeah we’re lying to you.”

Silence of the Cast Post Episode

So this is...probably the worst part of all this, at least in my opinion.

The guys had all been pretty excited about the end of the show (especially Jared, but Jensen’s panel last week was Jensen as happy and jokey and positive as I’ve ever seen him. He was so excited about episode 18, about what it meant for Dean and for Cas, and I just cannot buy that he would have been that excited unless he thought there was something more in the episode.

Misha live-tweeted the episode, and was watching it with his kids. It’s well known that Misha and the kids don’t watch the show because it’s too scary, and let’s ask ourselves, why would he have them watch an episode that he’s barely even mentioned in?

He also stopped live-tweeting at a very specific point in the episode (Dean’s death) and has not mentioned Supernatural since then.

None of them, not Jared, Jensen, Misha, or even Alex, said anything about the episode for nearly 36 hours, when Jensen posted a salty photo on instagram. It’s just...not what you’d expect for the end of a 15 year show, when the cast and crew are so close to the fans, so close to each other.

My theory? They didn’t know. They thought Misha was, at least, going to be in the episode in some way, and when he wasn’t, they decided not to say anything.

You really think that Jensen “Heller” Ackles would have been so excited about the end of the show last week if he thought Cas wasn’t going to be in it at all? Nah son, doesn’t make any sense.

Even today, in Jared and Misha’s panels, they seemed sad and...more than a little careful, both saying that there were things they couldn’t say, both talking around things that we all have questions on.

Jensen Speaking with Kripke

So this is where a lot of people are getting fodder to take shots at the writers, saying that Jensen hated it from the beginning, but I don’t think so. I actually think I know what Jensen went to him about, and it wasn’t the lack of Cas or the weird pacing or the montages (which I don’t think were there when Jensen got the script); I think it was the manner of Dean’s death.

I know a lot of people were upset about that, upset with how...normal it was, coming off an episode where they literally beat God. I actually didn’t mind it, I thought it was an interesting thematic take to be like: you can be a hero all your life, but sometimes shit happens, and you just die.

But imagine how hard that was for Jensen to read. He would run to Kripke for that, because for him, Dean dying by being impaled by a piece of rebar had to be tough to swallow.

So, why didn’t Kripke say that? Why didn’t he say, “oh well he had a problem with Dean’s death, none of that other stuff was in the script.”

Guys. Why would he get involved? He’s not going to burn bridges any more than anyone else is. He said the ending was good because it’s the easy thing to do, it’s simple, will cause him no problems in his career, and he can just ignore the people trying to engage with him on it.

Walker

Something else to talk about is the major shift this episode had from the rest of the season: the shift from Dean to Sam. I am NOT saying that Sam isn’t important, he definitely, absolutely is, but it was DEAN who really needed to wrap up his arc, Sam just needed to move on, get married to Eileen, become the leader he was always meant to. So what changed? What was with the shirtless scene, the Austin number and random case there, most of the episode being heavily Sam focused, going through his entire life in a montage?

Anyone else notice the 375 Walker promos, or Jared’s little spiel about Walker and how he hoped SPN fans would “come along for the ride.”

It’s...kinda obvious? CW wanted to appeal to who they think the key demographic of SPN and Walker is: rural areas in the South. It would explain a lot, why so much editing, why so Sam focused, the Austin number, the number of Walker promos, all of it.

I’m not saying this is fact, I don’t know that it is, but it is a little suspicious that even in Jared’s panel today, he talked A LOT about Walker and how he hopes SPN fans will watch it.

Why Would the Network Get Involved?

Simply put: $$$

If they think Walker can be the new SPN, and that those crazy SPN fans liked it originally, it’s a lot safer to go with the “original intent” of the show than do something risky (like making one of your two original leads queer).

And? They don’t care. They don’t care that the episode didn’t make sense, they don’t care that all the emotional arcs were left hanging, they don’t care by (potentially) smashing together two of Dean’s monologues (one to Sam, one to Cas) that it came of as...gross. ( @curioussubjects wrote a beautiful post showing how part of that death speech was likely meant for Dean here). They don’t care, they never have, they just want to make their money and move on from the too-loud fandom that fought for representation too hard for too long.

It can’t help but feel insidious, which, honestly, it might be, but it really all comes down to the next cash cow, which, they think, is Walker, even at the cost of the fifteen year legacy show.

The Writers and What I Want

So here it is, all this weird, sus shit laid out on the line. And you know what? To me, there is no way to blame the writers, because they didn’t want this.

I don’t think Dabb and Bobo would have gone ahead with the confession in 18 without thinking that there would be some closure to that arc, they wouldn’t have done that not only to the fans, but for the sake of their own story as well: no writer wants to start something that they can’t finish. (And this applies to both Cas and Eileen).

Here’s a basic rundown of what I think happened: they had a clear arc from 18-20, ending in reciprocation at some level from Dean, Sam marrying Eileen, Hunter Sam as the new Bobby, Dean in heaven with Cas and big roadhouse reunion at the end. Covid prevented a good amount of that. Network had to stare at big gay 18 for six months, got cold feet. Thought about Walker, target audience and alienation of the rural areas if it went full gay. Misha quarantined and likely shot something (not much), he was then cut by execs and went home. They likely added in lines referencing Eileen and Cas to make it clear but more subtextual. They wrap, editing gets it and hacks it to pieces, so we get a shorter episode that’s mostly montages and jarringly bro-centric with nothing else. Arcs are left hanging. Dabb gets episode but it’s too late, there’s nothing he can do. Actors aren’t told so they can continue to do positive PR for the ending, they all found out at the same time we did: hence almost complete silence about the finale.

And you know what? They warned us. I talked about it here, but they’ve been telling us all season that Chuck wasn’t the writer, he’s the network. I don’t think, still, that they thought it would be cut up like this, into something so unsalvageable that it’s been panned by almost everyone, even people who didn’t care much about Dean and Cas.

Finally, a masterpiece can be ruined by editing, and while I’m not sure even the script they ended up shooting on was a masterpiece (due to the network meddling already), but to me it’s blatantly obvious that it’s no one but the network that caused this, that took away closure for Dean, Cas, and even Sam.

So what do I want? Nothing really, there’s nothing we can do, but I wrote this mostly to show people that the writers are not your enemy. In fact, to the people trashing them? You’re doing exactly what the CW wants you to: blame the obvious targets, blame Misha, blame Jensen and Jared, blame Dabb. Scream and yell at them on Twitter and about how the show is ruined because of them. The network keeps their engagement levels high, they don’t get as targeted for their behavior, and just keep moving along.

Just, please, think about who did this, Mourn the show, be angry, but not at the people who fought tooth and nail for this for literal years, not the people who wanted it more than we did, not the people who cannot say anything because of their careers and the NDAs they’re bound by.

Someone is going to spill eventually, but until then, we just have to wait, and continue to be loud.

#my writing #my meta #supernatural #spn #spn finale trash fire #MY MANIFESTO IS DONE

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bennettandyank · 2 years

Text

Maru and Friends Doll Review

I’ve been eyeing the Maru and Friends line since the early days of this blog. That’s roughly eight years! For the bulk of my doll collecting days, I’ve been hesitant to buy dolls that aren’t compatible with the large collection of American Girl sized clothing I have. In the last year or so, however, I’ve found myself more interested in differently sized dolls. Since I do have a goal of learning to sew doll clothing, I’m more willing to try different brands.

As I said in another recent post, I almost went for a Kidz ‘n’ Cats doll off of eBay, but remembered how much I’ve wanted to give Maru and Friends a try. Then, when I looked at their website and saw 20″ Maru was on sale for $99, it was obvious which one I should get.

I ordered Maru on Monday afternoon, and today - Thursday - she arrived! That really impressed me, as my orders from American Girl typically take much longer.

Maru arrived in this adorable outer box. As pictured above, the sides of the box show characters from the Maru and Friends line, and the top has these cute flowers and the words “Open Happiness”. (I blocked out the shipping information in the photo.) It’s not discreet packaging by any means, but boy is it cute!

Inside of the outer box was Maru’s display box. I had already opened the box to show the doll to my aunt before getting a photo, but the box was originally wrapped with shiny yellow ribbon tied in a bow. The display box has a flap that opens and is sealed with a sticker. Since I had opened it before this photo, my sticker wouldn’t stick back down.

Maru was secured in her box with white ribbon and packing material at her ankles, arms, and neck. Her scarf was in a separate bag by her feet.

I think Maru had a rough time in transit! You can see her hairnet by her shoulder. It must have gotten knocked off at some point, and left her hair looking a bit disheveled. Fortunately I never intended on keeping her in the box.

The inside of the flap has some info on Maru and another photo of her and her friends Jaime and Tanya.

Maru is so adorable out of her box. She stands and poses easily. Her hair, despite getting a bit messy in her box, was so easy to smooth with only my fingers.

Maru has beautiful brown eyes and glued on lashes. Her eyes do not open and close. She also has painted on lashes, in addition to painted brows, lips, and blush. I don’t see a single flaw in her face. She’s a beauty!

Quick view of her profile and ear. I noticed that when looking at her straight on, her ears stick out a bit compared to the American Girl dolls I’m used to. I find it super cute and more realistic. Maru’s head can turn to the sides and tilt up or down. It’s great to pose.

Maru’s wig almost reaches her butt. The ends have a slight bend to them. Her hair is shiny and easy to handle. It’s doesn’t feel quite as thick as I’m used to, but there’s still plenty there to style. It’s not as if there is any noticeable thinning - her ponytail just doesn’t feel as full as an American Girl doll’s does.

Maru’s meet outfit consists of an orange sweater with bows on the sleeves and a matching scarf with pompoms, brown pleated skirt, tan tights, tan boots with fur, and plain white undies. Maru used to come with a vest and hat, but this changed at some point. Even without them, this is a solid meet outfit. I do think that her sweater might look better tucked in, so you can’t see the visible line of her skirt underneath.

Her skirt closes with one snap and is lined with white fabric. Her sweater closes with three snaps. I like that they use snaps instead of Velcro on these, especially on the sweater, which I think would snag with Velcro closures. Her boots do open and close with Velcro, but they were easy to get on and off without snagging her tights.

Her sweater is the only garment that is tagged.

The quality of her outfit is really good, however I did think her sweater and scarf were going to be a thicker material than what they are. I am most impressed with her tights and boots. Her tights are thicker than most American Girl tights I have encountered, and her boots are high quality and easy to get on and off.

Maru’s all vinyl body has a slight waist and a bellybutton. Her elbows are slightly bent. I think her hips and legs look a bit awkward when she’s nude, but I don’t keep my dolls undressed so it doesn’t really matter.

There is a dip in Maru’s back, and as you can see, she has a small orange stain up by her neck.

This stain is directly above Dianna Effner’s signature. I was a bit surprised that her sweater stained her, but fortunately it’s not in a very noticeable spot. I could try to remove it in the future, but I haven’t touched it as of now.

I checked her for other stains and found a couple small ones on her arm. These are certainly in a more noticeable area, but at least they’re small. I’ll have to make sure I don’t store her in her meet outfit to prevent more staining.

Maru is really good at posing! She can do splits.

From a seated position, she looks more natural than American Girl dolls do in the same pose. Her legs can remain closer together.

Her arms can lift up and like American Girl doll arms.

She can hold them apart widely.

She can also bring them pretty close together in the front. I imagine she’d be good at holding a basket or other object in front of her.

This one really shows off how bent her elbows are. Her arms are a bit on the long side, but they don’t seem as long as, say, My Twinn doll arms. My Twinn arms tend to bother me with their length, but Maru’s aren’t so strange. I like her bent elbows, I think they add a lot to her poses.

Maru has cute little round fingers with lots of detail.

I was actually really surprised at the amount of detail on her palms.

Maru’s feet are significantly smaller than American Girl feet, but she balances really well. Actually, I think she balances better than my American Girl dolls usually do. I didn’t deal with a single fall while taking photos for this review.

Also included in Maru’s box was her book, Forever Friends. It’s hardcover, 28 pages, and illustrated. There were also two postcard sized pages showing some other dolls the brand offers.

Also in Maru’s box were the four outfits I ordered with her. They were wrapped in the most adorable tissue paper ever and sealed with Maru stickers. No boxes here like American Girl outfits, but I don’t mind that at all as I don’t keep my doll outfits boxed up.

There were two outfits in each bundle of tissue paper, and each outfit is kept together in a plastic pouch. I considered reviewing each of these here but this review is already getting quite long. Maybe another day, if there’s interest.

I do want to mention again that I made a mistake when ordering. I didn’t realize that Maru came with an extra outfit, and ordered her Pea Coat, not knowing she was already coming with it. The company called me almost immediately to ask if that was a mistake and how I’d like to fix it, and allowed me to get the Summer Breeze outfit in place of one of the Pea Coats. I am super impressed by their customer service for doing that! I’m sure that if I made a mistake like that with American Girl, they would have never checked.

Maru got dressed back up and wanted to see what other outfits I have that she could wear, so I got out two dolls to compare her with - my American Girl doll Joss, and my Herstory doll Delaney.

At 20″, Maru towers over Joss and Delaney.

Maru looks noticeably pale next to both other dolls. I wish I’d had an American Girl doll with their palest skin tone (such as Blaire) to compare her to. However, I also think Maru’s body looks the most realistic.

At first glance, Maru seems to be wearing the Herstory doll outfit pretty well. The dress did close, but barely. Delaney, meanwhile, looks like a little girl trying on her mother’s clothing.

And while I was able to put the shoes on her, her feet are just a bit too long for them. You can kind of tell that her heel didn’t go all the way down in this photo.

So while I was able to put Delaney’s shoes on her, they actually made her really difficult to balance, and I worried about damaging the Herstory doll shoe.

Even with the skirt snapped closed, Delaney couldn’t keep it up on her own. However, she can wear Maru’s boots really well, even if Maru can’t share hers.

Joss and Maru were both able to share outfits. However, Joss never stood a chance at fitting into Maru’s shoes, and Joss’s shoes are clearly too big for Maru. Maru’s outfit is tight on Joss - it was like dressing a PC doll in Mattel clothing. Maru had plenty of room in Joss’s outfit, though it’s clearly shorter on her. Maru could get away with wearing American Girl sized clothing, but with her arms and legs being longer, the outfits may not always look the same.

I grabbed another American Girl outfit for Maru to try, to see how long pants and long sleeves would fit her. The pants fit her more like capris. The shirt sleeves are also short, but it’s more noticeable in certain poses than others.

It’s certainly most noticeable when her arms are lifted the whole way up!

I do think I’ll be able to dress Maru in a lot of American Girl sized items in my collection, with the exception of shoes. She’ll probably look great in many dresses, short sleeved shirts, and shorts that I have.

I’m really impressed by Maru. She’s a beautiful, lifelike doll that’s a dream to pose. I’m smitten with her adorable little face. The fact that I think she’ll be able to wear a lot of pieces I already have is a major bonus. She’s currently only $99 and comes with a choice of her pajamas or coat along with her meet outfit. Even when she goes back to full price, she’s a doll that I think is definitely worth adding to any collection. I’m already eager to add her friends to my collection too!

#maru and friends #maru and friends doll #maru #my dolls #review

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mammons-tax-returns · 4 years

Note

How would the brothers react to a very punk goth Mc like platforms and all black and just the whole shebang he’s very nice but also will throw hands (there’s not enough male Mc your doing the good work my dude)

BROTHERS REACTING TO A GOTH/PUNK MC

Perfect way to start off the new blog !! Thank you for requesting, hope this is what you had in mind <3 (and that it’s not too apparent that i’m not super well versed in punk or goth culture ACK)

I hope that you guys don’t mind some being shorter than others, I’m still getting a hang of personalities!

⊱ ────── {.⋅ ♫ ⋅.} ───── ⊰

Lucifer is probably one of the ones that’s into the style from the very beginning.

As soon as he sees MC, his interest is clearly shown on his face.

Sometimes, he’ll drop compliments on his fashion. Depending on his reponses, he’ll start getting more apparent with just how much he enjoys seeing his outfit everyday.

GIFTS!! He’s not mammon level of stacks upon stacks of gift wrapped boxes, but he’ll certainly stop by your room every once in a while with a new accessory he saw while shopping.

MC will probably notice that he is especially keen on chokers :).

Stares discreetly, but consistently. When Lucifer invites him to listen to music in his room, he waits until MC is occupied with something like a book or the music. Then sneaks glances at him to see how his clothing moves every time he reaches over for something, or how the necklace he bought the other day glints in the light radiating off of the fireplace.

He knows that MC is nice, and grows increasingly more and more worried for his sake because of that. The exchange program is important, but his treasure perpetually adorned in black garbs is significantly more prominent in his concerns.

So when he sees MC readily defending himself against some low level demon with no hesitation? Holy fuck. He starts to panic, but there’s nothing surpressing his respect for him, as it only grows stronger.

Although, it becomes very apparent that he’d have to do something about all of his brothers’ staring at MC.

Mammon is so into it. Like... So into it.

We all know and love that our tsundere boy has a problem with getting embarrassed, but how could he NOT get flustered everytime he’s face to face with an alternative KING

At first, he actually tries to tell MC how much he appreciates his aesthetic, but fails every time. Stuttering is a difficult thing to overcome when you can barely breathe out of embarrassment.

When he finally brings himself to actually get a compliment out, it’s accompanied with his signature bashful look. Downcast gaze and shifting posture and everything.

Upon recieving a positive response to his words, he takes it as a sign that he should start doing it more often. And so... That’s exactly what he does!

Compliments upon compliments, expensive outfits and accessories finding their way into his room, MC gets it all.

He ADORES the nice personality. So really. This MC is one of the people that Mammon can’t help but get along with. Nice, can throw hands, AND IS FASHIONABLE? Now you’re speaking his language.

They definitely get called a model power couple, even if MC isn’t a model.

Will definitely mention the idea of MC doing a photoshoot with him for work, but won’t press further if he says he’s not comfortable with it.

Levi geeks out so badly

So yeah, his initial interest in MC is kickstarted by his fashion reminding him of a badass video game character, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t appreciate him for who he is!!

He actually doesn’t know whether to be sad that he doesn’t have the same amount of fashion sense or to be happy that he has MC as his best friend that does.

But after a bit of positive affirmation from MC, he’ll surely settle with the latter. (and also hope for them to become more than best friends :). )

He finds himself subconsciously posting about MC in his socials. Normally it’s filled with “Lucifer just did (blank)” but now, it’s ALL about MC. Nothing else. MC fan account.

We know that Levi draws, and so I have no doubts that he would be drawing every outfit he sees MC in.

At first, he’s only drawing faceless figures in the clothes, probably adding his own personal flair. But as time progresses and Levi gets closer to him, he starts subconsciously conpleting the figure’s appearance (hair, face, stature, etc). And before he knows it, half of his pages are filled with doodles of MC.

But if he were to ever find out that MC saw his art, RIP Leviathan 2020

And who’s to say he’s not drawing him in... Risqué outfits.

But if MC says that he doesn’t mind getting drawn, then Levi will activate cute fanboy mode again.

He’ll ask him to model outfits for him as he draws, sometimes in cosplay.

MC would just be chillin’ with him in his room, and when Levi finally looks up from his tv after finishing an anime, he’ll sometimes gasp and immediately say, “Stay right there, I HAVE to draw this!”

Although drawing wasn’t and will likely never be his favorite thing to do in comparison to video games/anime, it gives him an excuse to stare at his best friend with minimal blushing.

Satan is good at hiding his appreciation for MC’s outfits. At least, he’s good at it to everyone BUT MC.

If anyone asks, he’s indifferent about MC and his dashing looks and fashion.

But as soon as MC confronts him... Oh boy.

Red-faced, he’ll compliment his clothing on occasion, then wave it off as “something everyone does”. Which is true, but we know that it’s more than just that.

Similarly to Lucifer, he finds himself staring at him secretly. Except, I like to think that he’s less careful about it. Often MC will look up to meet his eyes, before he ducks his head back into his book, acting nonchalant.

Not a single person can convince me that he hasn’t found a stray black cat and discreetly named it after MC.

He wouldn’t hide the fact, but instead would actually bring it up at the right time. Ex: Right before some dramantic moment like before proclaiming how much MC means to him. Both as the cat and human.

The cat’s collars are decorated similarly to the clothing that MC wears! Satan is a diligent worker (especially when putting lucifer through immense stress) and a lover of arts, so he’s pays attention to little details like that.

This is Asmo we’re talking about.

He ADORES the aesthetic.

It’s not something that he himself would wear, but damn is it appealing to the eye.

Once you get him started on all the things he’d do if given the chance to dress MC up in whatever he wanted, you’ll never hear the end of it.

(^ especially when he starts talking about the undressing)

He loves a monochromatic color pallet, but every once in a while he’ll push for a pop of color in MC’s outfit for the day.

If MC wears minimal/no makeup, Asmo will constantly ask if he can use his face as a canvas for makeup experimentation while he rants about his nail tech.

Asmo’s favorite activity is going through MC’s closet. He gets to not only try things on, but he also gets to know what he has to work with when choosing MC’s outfits for their days out together.

Knows the perfect boutiques to bring him to

“You know, the color black really accentuates your figure... And if you look this good with it on, I wonder how great you look with it off~”

Beel isn’t interested in fashion or anything related to it. He isn’t picky about the presentation of things (namely; food.)

So he wouldn’t be immediately enticed upon first meeting MC.

But that is not to say that he doesn’t find him VERY pleasing to the eye.

Our sweet boy is not afraid to express his love for those boots!! For the destressed fabrics!! He hangs around him often just so he can sit and ogle at how cool MC looks!! All the damn time!!

Asks MC to come with him to work out just so he could have some motivation by seeing him. And his GAMES. He’s gonna love to see him cheering him on in the stands.

Beel would admit that he himself couldn’t bring himself to care so much about his clothes or ‘aesthetic’ , and couldn’t imagine having such a consistent style.

^ And because of that! He’s dying to see what he looks like in other styles. Of course, if he doesn’t want to change out of the usual attire, just seeing him wearing beel’s huge ass jacket is enough.

Wouldn’t care to buy clothing items for him, but will most certainly stop by devildom’s no. 1 bakery, grab some sweets with that signature gothic devildom appearance and bring it back to the House of Lamentation for him. (Given that he didn’t already eat them.)

In comparison to his personality, MC’s closet isn’t very important.

Beel loves his kind nature! But he will always be there to defend him in any sort of risky situation, especially when any low level demons would like to try and take advantage of MC’s niceness.

Belphie is taken aback the first time he sees him. In the best way possible.

It’s like he just knows that he’s going to be interesting to be with just by seeing his clothing style

He actually probably assumed that MC would be very different from what he’s really like. (Like how people will assume that everyone who wears dark colors often are always sad)

But both to his surprise and not, MC is nothing but kind to him! And he’s kinda like 😳. Damn. Alright. I can get down to this.

Fashion isn’t his expertise, so he isn’t as forward with compliments. It’s mostly, “As long as I’m comfortable when I lay on you, the clothes are fine. Right?”

“I had a dream about you last night... It was like you were some prince clad in black chain mail armor... I suppose we couldn’t make that a reality though, huh? You can be my prince in band tees and ripped jeans.”

The only reason he starts dressing similarly to MC is because of how many times he’ll fall asleep beside him. He knows MC will probably offer one of his jackets or extra shirts, and that he’ll likely get to keep it. (He gives it back eventually, it’s just nice sentiment.)

It’s also kind of entertaining to see some of his brothers go ballistic in response to seeing him adorned in MC’s signature clothes.

#obey me reactions #obey me imagines #obey me male reader #obey me x male reader #obey me beelzebub #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me belphegor

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devildomdoofus · 3 years

Text

Winter Storm

Part 1

Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan

WARNINGS:

‼️contains spoilers from chp. 16‼️

[[ angst, cursing, anxiety, fear/terror, depression, survival, near death experiences, mentions of blood/bleeding, hypothermia, dehydration, fainting, severe pain, cliffhangers ]]

Authors Note (sorry it’s long):

My sincerest apologies for how long you all had to wait!! I’m hoping what I’ve created was worth it. Because each brothers’ pieces were rather extensive especially being on mobile, I’ve decided to divide them into two parts where part one includes the four eldest brothers and part two includes the remaining. This is also to test the waters a bit and see if my writing style is decent enough to continue or if there are changes that need to be made before posting part two. Also, I purposefully wrote “cliffhangers” because I felt that, as reader, you should be able to decide MC’s fate for yourself according to your personal tastes/moods/etc. I hope it doesn’t come off as lazy.. it was intentional so that you may enjoy the content to the fullest and take it in the direction that you choose and not the author.CONSTRUCTIVE FEEDBACK IS ALWAYS APPRECIATED!! Good, bad, or indifferent, your feedback will help me write better for you in the future so you can enjoy my content to the upmost extent!! ALSO: If the spacing is weird with the paragraphs and such, I’m very sorry but for the time being, I have no idea how to fix that considering I’m on mobile and there’s only so much the app allows me to do. Anyway, I hope you all dig what I dish out! Thanks again for your patience, support, and understanding!! -DevildomDoofus

UPDATE (2-19-2021): Part 2 is out!! Unfortunately I don’t have enough content to make a master list quite yet but until then, forgive me, but you’ll have to search my blog using the hastag “devildomdoofus” or “my posts.” Don’t worry, I’ll get my blog in order eventually, I’m just a little slow with these kinds of things 😅 thank you for your patience and understanding!!

- DevildomDoofus

Prologue:

One word, a pair of twinkling eyes, and a pouty lip was all it took for you to convince him to vacation with you up in the human world. Maybe a few more ‘fluffy’ words and a bigger pout had to be used on Lucifer, as his paranoia was, more often times than not, justified by his brothers’ antics so... he needed further convincing.

When you two arrive at the cabin that you were to stay in for the week, you eyed the place over and it was rather beautifully decorated and cozy enough to never set foot outside for eternity, but with the wonderland that was just right outside your door, how could you not? By the celestial realm, it was like a dream. The ground was carpeted with fresh sheets or large comforters, rather of glistening white snow that reached just above your ankles, so soft to the touch that it could almost be compared to the cushy feel of Belphegor’s favorite pillow. The mighty mountains reach up to graze their fingers through the few clouds that wisp across the bluest skies... have they always been this blue? The nearby forest that towered over all, beckoned you to join them in their dance with the gentle wind. In other words, you HAD to explore! You set out on a solo trip to get aquatinted with your surroundings and take pictures to reminisce about later, while the one you came with unpacked your belongings to get rightfully settled in. You promised you wouldn’t wander far, just enough to really take in the scenery before venturing further out together. As a precaution, you dug markings on nearby trees as you tread and left stones in consistent, peculiar piles so that in the event of an emergency, any who might have to come looking for you would notice these things and easily be able to follow in your footsteps. Well, more or less, considering the clouds had secretly huddled up above you for another gentle snow shower and are now covering up your footprints. No worries though, right? You left plenty of stone piles and tree markings and you’re not even that far from the cabin. Someone could surely find you if you needed them to. You pushed onward, too entranced by the world around you to turn back now.

As time passed, storm clouds gathered faster than a pack of hungry wolves over a freshly fallen corpse and this became your cue to hurry home. To your dismay, you couldn’t find ANY of the markings you left on the trees or ANY of the stone piles you made. Ok, that’s not great but everything’s fine. The trick is to not panic. Maybe you just wandered a little farther of the beaten path than you realized. You’ll surely find your way back. As you searched high and low for your markings, the wind began to pick up, howling furiously in your ear and the once gently drifting little snowflakes became hardened, frosted hornets, stinging your face until they bit through your exposed skin and caused you to bleed. So much snow and ice, you could barely see 2 feet in front of you and could hardly lift your legs high enough to move forward as the levels of snow quickly rose to just above your knee. You had packed and dressed for whatever these snowy mountains could throw at you, but nothing could protect you from the fury of a raging blizzard for long. Pain from the dropping temperatures began at the tips of your toes and fingers and the longer you tried to find your way back, the more the pain spread and the harder it was to move anything at all. Everything inside of you, every fiber of your being was screaming for you to stop, for the pain was becoming too great but you just HAD to make your way back or you would surely die out here. These thoughts were starting to make you panic. Just as you were thinking it couldn’t get any worse, the wind grew even stronger and was starting to knock you to your knees. At this rate, you were causing more harm than good to yourself, perilously trying to toughen it out. Instead, you decided to find a makeshift shelter, just strong and big enough to keep the snow and wind off of you as you would attempt to warm up.

As if by divine intervention, you could make out a large rock formation with an opening big enough for you to huddle up under, just ahead of you. You ducked low and crawled in, hunkering down in your saving grace. As you shivered in the shadows, heaving and trying to collect yourself before deciding what to do next, you realized that numbness had settled into your limbs and you could no longer feel them, much less move them. You tried, desperately, over and over to inch them in any way but damn it, nothing would. Tears began to puddle at the corners of your eyes as your mind began to race. You should have never left the cabin alone. You knew better, you just couldn’t help yourself. The tears started to fall more and more as the thoughts started spiraling. How could you be so stupid? Now no one is going to find you and you’re going to die here, alone and deathly afraid. You could no longer contain your cries and in one last fleeting attempt to be rescued, you screamed for help with as much force as your withering lungs would allow. Nothing but the wind answered your cries. Before you knew it, your body was shutting down and your eyes fluttered shut right as you fainted against the rocky wall behind you. The panic, the wet and the cold, dehydration, the pain that once gripped your entire body that then turned to numbness, the overexertion, the hypothermia that was setting in; it was all too much for your body to handle anymore. Limp against the stone, you were quickly turning into a human icicle. This is how he finds you.

Lucifer:

Lucifer had been prepping for dinner for later that evening, as some meals tend to take an eternity to prepare, when the hair on the back of his neck pricked up and an uneasy feeling settled into his stomach. He could sense something was wrong even before the storm clouds rolled in. There was no way to explain it other than something is or was going to be terribly, terribly wrong. It’s the same feeling he gets when his brothers are up to no good or are in some form of trouble. It comes with the responsibility of being the eldest brother. He, indeed, trusted you enough for you to go alone for the simple fact that you were the most responsible out of his brothers, but that did not mean he didn’t still feel a bit uncomfortable with you out of his immediate supervision considering you’re human and humans tend to make many, many mistakes. You’re a child by no means and can handle yourself incredibly well, as evident by your time in the devildom and at R.A.D. He knows this and believes you could conquer the world if you so chose to do so. But even YOU know that he only acts and does these certain things that can come off as overbearing to some because he cares so deeply for you that he tries his damndest to prevent any harm that may come to you. Physcial or emotional, accidental or self-inflicted, whatever the case may be. He would give his life and soul up for you, just as he had done for Lilith. That is why this unsettling feeling in the pit of his stomach upset him so. He had to find you. He set out to look for you and quickly noticed a pattern. The markings and piles of stones, he assumed, were yours and, for a fleeting moment, it filled him with pride to know that you went about your adventure with a proper head upon your shoulders. Still, he had to see you and be able to hold you in his arms so that his worrisome mind could be put to rest. He followed the trail until it ended with you nowhere in sight. “MC, darling, what have you gotten yourself into this time?” Though calm in his demeaner, he was still fidgeting beneath the surface. Through the wind and hail that was picking up, he heard your cries from miles off and like a bat out of devildom, races to you. From pounding out of his chest to dropping through the crust of the Earth, Lucifer’s heart collapsed when he found you. “MC...” He rushed to your side in the blink of an eye and shouted your name over and over, but you didn’t respond. He rips a glove off and places two fingers to the side of your neck. Your pulse was so low, he had to press his ear to your chest, but even your heart was far too faint to be heard by human ear. Thank Diavolo he was a demon or he would have assumed the worst. You rarely see this man lose his composure, even behind closed doors. But now, when he looks at you and your state of comatose for the second time in his life, he becomes frantic. So many emotions racing through him, he doesn’t notice the tears welling in his eyes or his demon form breaking the surface. His fist clenches and he slams it into the ground next you, creating a cavity in the stone. He almost lost you once, he won’t let it happen again.

Before his emotions get the better of him, he swiftly yet ever so gently scoops you into his arms and immediately transports you both back to the cabin where he could try and warm you up and bring you back to your old self. Back to him. Bursting through the door, he rushes to place you gingerly onto the couch in front of the fireplace and carefully strips you of all the wet clothing, replacing them with warm, dry pairs. He wraps your neck with a thick scarf, slips fuzzy mittens on your hands, covers your head in a knitted hat, and drapes multiple blankets over your body. He then tosses wood into the fireplace, setting them ablaze before circling the couch and pushing it, and inherently you, closer to the warmth of the fire. All of this within the blink of an eye. He finally sits next to you on the cushions and takes you back into his arms, fearing that if he ever lets go, he will truly lose you once and for all. He’ll occasionally reach a hand up to the side of your neck or to your wrist, checking your pulse. Still too damn low. How in the devildom could he let this happen? For hours, he stays like this with you, keeping you so close to his chest that from the outside looking in, it would seem he was smothering you. The entire time he cradles you, he is mentally abusing himself for not being with you. For letting you go out alone. For not protecting you. For going against his better judgement and agreeing to come out here with you in the first place- no... that’s not it.. He’s frustrated with himself for you going against your better judgement and choosing him to be the one to come with you. Him of all people. He couldn’t protect Lilith in the Great War, he couldn’t protect you when Belphegor tried to kill you, and now here you are, lifeless in his embrace and fighting to stay alive once again because he couldn’t protect you from the storm. The tears began to fall from his eyes once more and they dropped onto your cheek. He looks down at you, cupping your face in his hand and tenderly wipes his tears from your skin. “Please,” he begs through the lips that threaten to quiver. “Please MC. Come back to me, darling.” He shuts his eyes and presses his forehead to yours over the knitted hat. Hoping, if only he could pray, for you to come back.

Mammon:

Before the storm even rolled in, Mammon went looking for you. It was unnatural for you two to be separated for this long and he didn’t like it. Not one bit. “Damn it, MC! We’re supposed to be doing this stupid vacation thing together,” he grumbles, as he stomps out of the house in a little Mammon tantrum. He saw your markings on the trees and piles of stones and began to think you set up the whole ‘going on a solo adventure’ thing as a prank. He chuckles to himself and beams a bit in pride. “My clever little human, turning into me.” A seemingly great idea at first, but the more he thought on it, SERIOUSLY thought on it, the more that two Mammons seemed like a bad idea. But he’d like to go over the so called ‘bad idea’ with you if he could just find you. He followed your markings until they stopped and that’s when the storm clouds rolled in. He was starting to get nervous. Yes, you hid and jumped out at him in an attempt to scare him on numerous occasions (which hardly worked, considering he was a demon and quite frankly, a powerful demon at that) back in the devildom but... this situation seemed different. Having been around you and your person the longest, he gained a sixth sense specifically for you. Your warm presence, your delectable soul essence, your precious voice, your thoughts and feelings, your wonderful heartbeat; he could feel them all, even when you returned to the human world for a bit. He could feel them all until now and it felt like he had gone numb. His nervousness turned to anxiousness. The only other time this numbing sensation has happened to him before is when Belphegor tried to off you right in front of him. He so very often wishes he could just wipe those memories from his mind forever...

For a moment, he thinks he can hear your voice, as faint as it is. “MC!!” He follows the direction he thinks your voice is coming from and calls your name again but with no reply. Then he hears it. One ever so minute thump of your heartbeat. He follows the sound like a wolf after a lamb until he comes across the little miniature cave his lamb had taken shelter under. He crawls in and he‘s instantly frozen in place. “MC?” You’re.. ? No you couldn’t be, you just couldn’t be. “C’mon MC, qu-quit foolin’ around. We have to go home. It’s s-storming like crazy out there, ya know?” Only the little echo of the cracks in his voice are his reply. He takes one of your hands in his and- shit! They’re so cold! Colder than when held you that time you were almost kill-NO! He lets go of your hand and grabs you by the shoulders instead, shaking you frantically. “MC, please, ya gotta wake up! This isn’t funny anymore!” The longer he shook you with no sign of you waking up, the more his eyes glazed over with tears. “MC!! WAKE UP!!” He growls, frustration and demon form taking over. Your body slides like a rag doll into his arms and that’s when he finally realizes that this is no prank and you’re in serious, serious danger. His heart disintegrates in his chest and nothing could stop the tears from cascading down his face like rain. For just a few moments, he sits there in that cave, holding your frozen body in his arms and rocking you as he cries heavily into your hair. He’s so hurt, so fucking hurt that this is the second time that he couldn’t protect you when he said he would. But by Diavolo, he had to keep trying until the absolute very last millisecond.

He gets a grip on himself, cradles you tightly into his embrace and skyrockets back to the cabin. Once there, he’s doing anything and everything in his power to get you warm. Heated blankets, warm and dry clothes, thick gloves, fuzzy hats, warmed pillows and cushions, a fire in the fireplace, the thermostat cranked up by 5 degrees, EVERYTHING. He even went to the extent of placing his bare hands into the fire, pulling them out to cool them down to an appropriate temperature, and then placing them over your ears, under the hat and across your forehead, or he would cradle your face in his hands to gingerly brush his warmed thumbs over your cheeks and nose. He simply could not sit still. There had to be something more he could do to help you, something more he could do to make up for his mistakes. He couldn’t stop no matter what. He loved you too much to give up so easily.

Leviathan:

Leviathan had originally intended to get both of your belongings unpacked as quickly as possible so that later that evening, you two could have a video game binge with the new game the TSL franchise came out with, honestly he did, but... as soon as he turned on the tv to test the reception in the area, one of the human shows you often mentioned to him popped up on the screen and he was instantly glued to the couch. The characters were as entertaining as you had described them in that cute way where your eyes sparkled and lips curled into a smile. He loved the way you beamed with joy He loved y- He couldn’t pry his eyes away from the screen, not even for a second. That is, until 20 minutes later and the show turned to static. “Oh for crying out loud,” he grumbles as he clicks the tv off and tosses the remote to the side. It was just like this normie of a human world to have terrible reception, especially during an intense episode. Surely he had it recorded somewhere back in his room in the Devildom. With newfound boredom, he stepped to the window and looked outside. Sheesh, it had gotten dark rather quick. It would be an awful shame for someone to be stuck out in this impending weather, just as the food in TSL had been stuck in terrible weather that The Lord of Fools sent The Lord of Flies. Such a kind gesture from the Lord of Fools, considering his former lover, Geldie, was found frozen in- “OH SHIT! MC!!”

He kicked open the door and stumbled around in the snow and gusting winds before getting his snow legs, then frantically circled the cabin, looking for any sign of you. He finds the markings in the trees and little stone piles and figured that they must belong to you. As he tread, he couldn’t help but beat himself up for letting you go alone, especially considering neither of you knew the area well enough. He understood, more than anyone in all the realms, that time alone is sacred and shouldn’t be interrupted without a legitimate reason. But even still, he wished that you would have teased him to go with you, like you often times did, until he would inevitably cave and follow behind you as he would then talk about the situation being “like that one scene from that one anime we watched together where the male protagonist somehow turns into a puppy, lost and confused, until the female protagonist comes along and takes him in and loves him for who he is and he turns back into a human and follows her around like he did when he was a puppy and-...” The rest of the walk would be filled with talks of which anime or show or video game resembled each moment you two shared.. and you loved every second of it. His eyes lit up like the sun shone right behind them and his precious little grin when he would recall humorous scenes. He would blush when he caught you staring and stumble over the next few sentences before eventually shutting up and just holding your hand (for safety of course) as you giggled at him for being so damn cute. His memories of those times kept him warm as they could as he continued onward in search of you, hoping that you weren’t in too much danger. But with how little mercy the storm was showing him, the possibility of you being safe and sound was rapidly decreasing.

Your marked trail came to an end but you weren’t there. Instead, there was only the howling winds and cascading ice to mock him. Oh no, this is bad. This is very, very bad. He shouted your name in an attempt for you to hear his voice and be able to find your way to him but he received no answer. He shouted louder and louder but you simply wouldn’t answer. “Shit, MC, where the hell are you?!” Anxiety began to make its way through him and he had to lean against a nearby tree to try and collect himself. That’s when he could faintly hear your voice crying for help. He darted towards your direction, coming upon the shelter you hid away in and as he moved closer to you, he froze. You were deathly still and your skin was so incredibly pale compared to it’s usual hue. He couldn’t think, he couldn’t breathe, he was just frozen in place with nothing but your limp body and emotionless face in front of him. He had no clue what to do but try and wake you up as he swallows the lump in his throat to call your name. “M-MC?” No answer. He takes your hand in his. Shit, you’re colder than ice. “MC, pl-please... please wake up, MC.” The wind outside seem to laugh at him and his feeble attempt to wake you up. Tears welled in his eyes and the lump in his throat thickened, almost to a point where he felt he couldn’t breathe, much less cry. As his demon form creeps to the surface, he grabs your shoulders and gently shakes you. “MC, please!! I can’t do this without you!!” Your body droops into his embrace and his heart feels like it’s been dropped into a blender and turned to mush. For a moment, all he can do is stare at your solidified face and wonder why oh why was this happening to him. To his precious ‘Henry’... “That’s it!! Henry!!” He shouted to himself. What would Henry do for his loved ones? He wouldn’t sit here and feel sorry for himself, he would do everything in his power to help the ones he cared about most! Leviathan shakes away his tears, holds you tightly in his arms, and bolts to the cabin to attempt to save you. He wasn’t going to let himself get in his own way, he was going to try his damndest to save you and bring you back. To bring back his Henry.

Satan:

In the midst of folding and putting away yours and his clothes, Satan paused. Similar as much as he hated to be so to Lucifer, he had developed a sort of instinct to tell when something or anything was off and this sense was only heightened by his incredibly refined observation and detective skills. He couldn’t quite place his finger on it just yet but something was clearly off. That’s when he went looking for you. Knicks in the trees and your piles of stones made him feel a bit more at ease about going after you, as he felt you were at least intelligent about your endeavors and not as callow as most of his brothers seemed to be. That is, until the trail of markings came to a stopping point. It was difficult to admit, but this situation was throwing him for a loop. You wouldn’t have just randomly stopped placing markers for yourself unless something bad had happened and even then, you would have called for him using the pact if you were in danger, right? There had to be an explanation for all of this. He leaned against a nearby tree, neck deep in furrowed brow concentration until the sky darkened with thick, furious looking clouds stampeding in, breaking his many trains of thought. With a new indication of urgency, he continued onward in search of you. As the storm picked up, so did that ominous feeling and inherently his blood pressure. If this was your idea of a joke, it was highly inappropriate and if he’s blatantly honest, irritating, to say the least. Very. irritating. Although he was a demon and basically immortal, that didn’t negate the fact that he felt his time was precious and any amount of time with you was that much more precious. He had not come up to the human world, with the presumption that you two could finally spend some time alone together, just for the whole trip to be some pathetic excuse of a prank. You could do so much better; that he was certain of and for you to do something as lowly as this was an insult to his intelligence, his affection towards you, and an insult to him in general. He wouldn’t let his wrath, his sin, get the better of him nor would he ever use either against you but when he finds you, you will know very soon of his immense displeasure.

“Ugh...” He could hear how much he sounded like Lucifer as he is in punishment mode and it made him want to vomit.

Before the wind could really drown out any other sound, he thinks he hears your voice crying out through the storm. All of the anger that was building up instantly vanished and he hurries after you. Years and years (we’re talking thousands) of constant meditation, reading self-improvement novels, and studying a multitude of ways to strengthen one’s emotional fortitude, absolutely NOTHING could have prepared him for the way he felt when he found you. Frozen, limp, and lifeless against the stone; He didn’t have to touch you or call your name to know you weren’t going to answer. All of this was because he simply didn’t accompany you on your scouting trip.

It was too much. His wrath instantly took hold and his demon form bubbled to the surface. He wasn’t angry with you in the least, no. He was absolutely furious with himself because he didn’t protect you and he wasn’t there for you when you needed him most and he had no one else to be angry with but himself. Overcome with and blinded by the pure, white hot rage, he screams his broken heart out of his chest and into the sky above, and the earth trembled around you. The steadfast shelter that once braced against the harsh storm crumbled into trillions of pieces as the sheer force of his voice crushed them to bits. The trees no longer bent to the will of the blizzard, but to him and him alone. His anger practically created ‘an eye in the middle of the storm’ and all but Satan had stilled within it. As the last bits of his wrath dispelled and he could finally get a better grip of himself, he looked down at you before taking you in his arms as the storm closed back in around you. Using the last of his energy, he bolted to the cabin with you clutched to his chest and settled you onto the couch to start the warming process. More than anything, he wanted to reach inside of you, grab the coldness by its throat, rip it out of you, and proceed to pummel it into a fist-dug grave. He wanted to take your pain, your fear, your sadness and tears, everything that caused you harm and reign devildom upon them all. To make your suffering know the name of wrath, to know his name personally and properly. Yet all he could do is kneel at your side and wait patiently for your possible recovery.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #otome #obey me scenarios #mine #my posts #devildomdoofus #obey me lucifer #lucifer #obey me mammon #mammon #obey me leviathan #leviathan #obey me satan #satan #obey me mc #mc

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albertonykus · 2 years

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A Long Road to Happiness: The Story of Perrine

This post was co-written by @killdeercheer. The use of "I" in this post refers to myself (Albertonykus), whereas "we" refers to both co-authors. A version of this post has been cross-posted to my Raptormaniacs blog.

Over the last few months, I have not had much time to devote to anything other than my thesis, but taking breaks is supposed to be healthy, even for—uh, especially for final-year PhD students. And so it happened that on some of these breaks I was inspired to revisit a series I hadn't watched since my childhood, The Story of Perrine. I remember enjoying it as a child (which in hindsight is surprising in some ways), but having rewatched it recently, I'd go as far as to say that it may now be one of my favorite shows of all time.

The Story of Perrine originally aired in 1978 and was based on the 1893 French novel En Famille by Hector Malot (which has been translated into English as Nobody's Girl or The Story of Perrine). It is one of the entries in World Masterpiece Theater, a series of animated Japanese adaptations of classic children's literature. The story follows a 13-year-old girl, Perrine, as she travels across Europe with her mother Marie (who for some reason is almost always left out of promotional posters for the show), their dog Baron, and their donkey Palikare to see Perrine's paternal grandfather in France, who none of them have met before.

This anime was never dubbed into English and accordingly appears to be pretty obscure in the English-speaking world. The version that I knew as a child was the DVD release of the Mandarin dub that had aired in Taiwan (where my parents grew up). Fortunately, as of the time of writing, the original Japanese dub is available on YouTube with fan-made English subtitles, and it was through this version that I revisited the show earlier in the year.

One of the reasons I'm surprised that I sat through this series when I was little is that it's slow paced and has a very tranquil atmosphere. It's certainly not a show with constant action or epic magical quests. At the same time, it's telling a continuous narrative with strong continuity and consistent character development. The stakes in the show are rooted in the magic of reality: the way one can find joy or laughter or sorrow or great lessons even in everyday life, and how that appreciation for the mundane can be its own magic. It's a type of storytelling that I haven't seen in many other fiction shows.

(Cover art for the series soundtrack. As you can see, Marie has been left out of this one as well.)

The closest comparison that comes to mind may be the Netflix animated series Hilda, which we also adore. Both shows are wholesome, down-to-earth, and sometimes very emotional series that feature precocious young girl protagonists being raised by single mothers. Other good comparisons might be the Studio Ghibli films Kiki's Delivery Service and My Neighbor Totoro. Unlike Hilda and the aforementioned Ghibli films, however, The Story of Perrine has essentially no fantasy elements at all. It really is more or less realistic fiction, such that one could probably re-enact almost everything that occurs in the series if circumstances were right. It also arguably gets a bit darker than Hilda, with permanent character deaths that are taken dead seriously. There are parts of the series that get pretty sad and bleak, though the story does ultimately have a happy ending.

The Story of Perrine was produced not long after the characteristic anime art style was popularized in the 1960s, and in some ways its character design actually deviates a bit from the "standard" anime style that is familiar nowadays. Its age shows from a technical perspective; though it evidently had the appropriate budget to portray the story as intended, there are definitely noticeable inconsistencies in the animation here and there. Even so, they are more fun things to point out instead of strong criticisms, and most certainly do not make the show any less compelling. Also amusing from a modern standpoint are the previews that play at the end of each episode, which tend to give away most of the plot of the subsequent episode—presumably symptomatic of a time without on-demand streaming services, meaning that missing entire episodes was a real possibility for viewers.

What follows are some of our thoughts on specific storylines and themes from the show. If you are at all interested in seeing The Story of Perrine for yourself, we strongly recommend that you stop reading at this point and just start watching. We would even advise against looking up anything else about the show, because nearly all the English summaries we've seen give away major events in the series. Additionally, if you'd prefer to get our thoughts in podcast form instead (along with a more detailed plot recap of the series), you can check out the review we did for our YouTube channel Through Time and Clades (embedded below).

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SPOILERS AFTER THIS POINT

The characters in The Story of Perrine are a big part of what makes the show so compelling. Perrine stands out among fictional child characters in that her circumstances force her to grow up early and take on more adult responsibilities, but she does so with such willingness and care that it's very admirable. At the beginning of the story, Perrine and Marie are grieving over the recent passing of Perrine's father, Edmond, and there's an interesting reversal of the expected roles in this situation in that though Perrine is clearly saddened by her father's death, her mother ends up relying more on her for emotional support than the other way around. In general, Perrine and Marie's relationship is a very emotionally open and honest one, and that is quite refreshing to see among fictional characters.

The series takes place in the late 19th Century, and though for most part there are no explicit mentions of major historical events, the historical context is evident throughout the show. Perrine's parents are said to have gotten married in India (with Marie being of Anglo-Indian heritage), presumably at a time when India would have been a British colony and later fallen under crown rule. Indeed, Marie is established as knowing English and having been raised Catholic. On their journey, Perrine and Marie make a living by continuing Edmond's traveling photography business, and the rural European communities that the protagonists pass through are often unfamiliar with cameras or with the sari that Marie wears while working.

Most of the people that the protagonists encounter during their travels only appear for one or two episodes. However, there is one character who accompanies them for a good stretch of their journey, and that is the little boy Marcel. When he first appears, Marcel has run away from his aunt's home to try and reunite with his parents, who operate a traveling circus, so Marie offers to help him catch up with them. I remembered Marcel from my childhood memories of watching the show, but I don't think I appreciated his character as much as I do now. He could have easily been written as an ungrateful brat who did little more besides getting into mischief, but he instead expresses genuine gratitude towards Perrine and her family, and the friendship he develops with them feels very organic. There are a couple times when Perrine meets up with Marcel again after they initially part ways, and these are among the happiest moments in the series.

Another memorable arc from the early part of the series comes when Perrine and Marie are antagonized by another pair of traveling photographers, who view them as business rivals. Perrine is quick to respond to them in kind, but Marie admonishes her and tries to get her to empathize with the other photographers' perspectives. When the rival photographers are caught trying to steal Marie's camera, Marie defuses the situation by passing it off as a misunderstanding, and her show of compassion is enough to inspire a change of heart in the other photographers. Of course, real life conflicts cannot always be resolved in this manner, but sometimes they can, and the lesson that one should give kindness before they receive it is certainly one that has a lasting presence in the rest of the story.

(I remembered this subplot pretty well from my childhood, but I'd forgotten just how sassy Perrine could be. Damn.)

Subsequently, Perrine and Marie reach Paris, and here the story delivers its biggest emotional punch up to this point. Marie is shown early on in the series to be in poor health, and over the course of their travels her condition deteriorates until she is no longer able to continue working, such that the family is forced to sell nearly all of their belongings (including Palikare). Ultimately, Marie passes away from her illness, though not before dispensing a few final words of wisdom and reassurance to a devastated Perrine. (Knowing that this was coming, there were more than a few moments in the preceding episodes that came across to me as ominous foreshadowing.)

Apparently, the original novel that the show was based on began around this point, with Perrine and Marie's arrival in Paris, and I've seen commenters suggest skipping to this part of the show as to better follow the source material. I'm admittedly biased due to having grown up watching the series, but that is not a recommendation I can get behind. I doubt that Marie's death scene would have been nearly as impactful without the previous 20 or so episodes of getting to know her character and her relationship with Perrine.

The Paris storyline at least ends on a bittersweet note, as Marcel (whose parents' circus is performing in the city at the time) and Perrine's neighbors all sympathize with Perrine and share in her grief. Several of them, even the innkeeper (who'd originally seemed greedy and standoffish), go as far as to offer to take Perrine in if her life with her grandfather does not work out. The way that Perrine finds an emotional support network and a found family of sorts in these people is very sweet.

(This guy had wanted to charge her for almost everything when they first met.)

However, I found that the next stretch of the show was probably one of the hardest parts for me to watch. As Perrine continues her journey on foot with only Baron for company, she gets swindled out of her money by a dishonest baker. I remember this scene being upsetting even as a child, given that this is perhaps the only time in the series that Perrine encounters someone who is actively malicious and probably sees her as nothing more than a victim to be taken advantage of.

Perrine does get her money back with the help of some local farmers, but over the course of the next few episodes, her cash and supplies gradually run out, she is forced to travel in the summer heat, and she sleeps exposed to the elements at night, which leads to her coming down with a sickness that nearly kills her. It's a lot for anyone to go through, let alone a 13-year-old child. The scenes where Baron runs off desperately trying to find help are anxiety-inducing, and the moment that Perrine finally gets rescued comes as a big relief.

Perrine's arrival in her grandfather Vulfran's hometown of Maraucourt (which, in real life, apparently no longer exists under that name) kicks off the remainder of the series. Having been warned by her mother that Vulfran had opposed Marie and Edmond's marriage and may not welcome her with open arms, Perrine introduces herself to locals under a fake name, Aurelie, and starts work as a manual laborer at Vulfran's gigantic textile factory.

Finding that the dirty, cramped workers' dormitories are not to her liking, Perrine ends up living in a hunters' hut in the woods (which is otherwise unused at this time of year). This is another particularly interesting and memorable story arc, and it's one in which Perrine's ingenuity comes to the fore, as she saves money by making her own shoes, clothing, and tools from resources she gathers in the woods and cheap supplies she buys from shops. She also prepares her own meals from the fish she catches and the edible plants she collects, even inviting her friends over for lunch in one episode.

(Perrine discovering the hunters' hut [center], making her own shoes [top left], showing off a homemade fork [bottom left], catching a fish [top right], and hosting her friends [bottom right].)

Much of the story at this point focuses on Perrine trying to connect with her grandfather without revealing her identity to him. Her big break comes when the factory is in need of an interpreter for some visiting English businessmen, and Perrine is the only English-speaking employee who happens to be available. (There's an interesting sequence here in which Perrine and the English visitors actually hold a conversation in English, while still being voiced by Japanese voice actors.)

Vulfran is very impressed by Perrine's work as an interpreter, so he also has her translate English letters and articles for him, and the two of them get the opportunity to know each other better. Despite Vulfran's reputation as a strict, cold man, he consistently treats Perrine with respect and sympathizes with her plight when he learns of her background and living conditions (while still remaining unaware that she is his granddaughter). Over time, he grows to rely on Perrine more and more, eventually appointing her as his personal secretary and even bringing her to live with him at his mansion.

This part of the series is a real emotional rollercoaster though. Not knowing of Edmond's death, Vulfran has been corresponding with contacts in India to try and determine his son's whereabouts, and when a letter from India brings up Edmond and Marie's marriage, Vulfran expresses disdain for Marie and indifference towards his grandchild. This of course hurts Perrine deeply, and she remains upset over it for most of the following episode. At the same time, she faces workplace bullying from the factory's head manager and from Vulfran's nephew, both of whom seek to inherit the factory for themselves and are very interested in the confidential documents that she has been handling for Vulfran. Watching the poor girl go through these experiences is pretty unpleasant.

(The subtitles are relaying exposition from the narrator; Vulfran doesn't know Perrine's real name or the fact that she is his granddaughter yet. This moment is no less heartbreaking though. Also, Vulfran is blind, so he cannot see Perrine crying. Guess we should have mentioned that somewhere.)

One of the most difficult and surprising subplots in the series occurs even later, however. When Vulfran eventually does learn of Edmond's passing, he gives his employees a day off to attend the funeral, but few of them show up. Fabry, the factory's engineer, explains to Perrine that the workers do not have much reason to care about their employer's loss, as Vulfran has done little to improve their working and living conditions.

The poor conditions result in tragedy when a fire starts in a local daycare and kills some of the workers' children. The grief expressed by the parents and caretakers in this scene is quite possibly some of the rawest emotion ever shown in a children's series like this. Perrine convinces Vulfran to speak to the grieving workers, who are quick to give him an earful and pin the blame on him. Although Vulfran initially seems dismissive of the workers' accusations, he is clearly affected by the experience, and with further encouragement from Perrine (who recalls Marie's lessons on giving and receiving kindness), he ends up ordering the construction of new facilities to improve the welfare of his employees. It's a moving conclusion to a brilliant story arc.

The real emotional climax of the show though comes when Vulfran finally discovers that Perrine is his granddaughter. We'll say no more about it except that it is very, very satisfying. This is a series for which, even if we were given the opportunity to, we would probably change essentially nothing about. Although we've highlighted many moments in the show that are rough to watch, none of them are overly traumatic, and they really serve to make the emotional payoff to the story even more spectacular. If there were officially designated poster children for the "Earn Your Happy Ending" trope, Perrine should be one of them.

The balance struck in Perrine's characterization throughout the series is interesting, because she is established early on as being very wise and mature for her age while still coming across believably as a child. The period of time that she lives in the hunters' hut is a great show of her resourcefulness, but it could also be viewed as an expression of child-like creativity. An adult in Perrine's place might not have been so quick to see the hut as a potential home, whereas having a secret hideout in the woods would probably be a dream come true for many children.

These different facets of Perrine's character are also seen in her role as Vulfran's secretary. She ends up being offered this important position by proving to be mature and dependable, yet at the same time her motivations for helping Vulfran come from a very innocent and child-like desire to be loved and accepted by her grandfather. Some of my favorite scenes in the show occur near the end of the series, when Perrine is shown playing with Baron in the courtyard of Vulfran's mansion. By then, she has become the trusted assistant and closest confidant to the owner of this huge factory, but she still takes the opportunity to play with her friends when she can. After everything she had gone through up to that point, she certainly deserved to goof around a bit and embrace being a child again.

(Whether giving a pep-talk to her mother or frolicking in Vulfran's courtyard, Perrine is Perrine.)

In the end, Perrine earns her happy ending by being clever and resourceful, yes, but also by being kind and by receiving help from others. Ironically, that makes this 13-year-old child a good character to look up to. After all, if she can strive to be a good person and help improve her community, what's to stop just about anyone else from doing so?

One occasionally encounters the perception that realism in fiction equates to gritty cynicism, but The Story of Perrine is one example where that is emphatically not the case. Although the narrative, setting, and characters are portrayed realistically, it also maintains a very humanistic and optimistic outlook throughout. It's a story where bad things can and do happen to good people, but it's also one where people can help each other overcome those bad things and furthermore, one where people can change themselves for the better.

(One of the final shots in the show and the closing words from the narrator.)

So I'm very happy to have rediscovered The Story of Perrine, and I think it deserves to be better known. That's certainly one of the reasons we wrote this long post and recorded a 4.5 hour podcast about it. Shortly after I finished rewatching the show, I also decided to draw some fan art of it as tribute. If you are at all familiar with my approach to fan art, well, you know how this works by now.

And if you've read all the way to this point without having watched The Story of Perrine, it probably goes without saying that we'd still highly encourage you to see it for yourself. It's a wonderful story and a truly positive light in the world.

#The Story of Perrine #Anime #World Masterpiece Theater #Perrine Monogatari #ペリーヌ物語 #Long post

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idol-trickster · 3 years

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OOC: updates on the blog?

Hello all!

Thank you so much 💜 for such lovely reception, again, especially with this event! I wasn’t sure how well it’d be taken, as it’s a bit 👌 off-canon, but honestly I’m so grateful and blown away by the support you guys give and it makes me want to keep working hard! As such, I want to be fully transparent with everything going on around the blog. (The various art streams being a stepping stone) With some changes made to help interactions!

Sadly one of the things I wish I did better with my first ask-blog was be more transparent and open. You can say I was a bit nervous and unsure how much to interact or what content to post or reblog, a valuable learning lesson; All of which I’m taking and fledging out with this blog to become a warmer and productive face in the community I adore so much!

To begin:

A few of you may have noticed, but I’ve added a new ❔ Counter for Asks on my blog description (at least the sidebar/mobile version). I’ll try to update this as much as possible so you all can get an estimate of response times.

I’ll be honest, I wasn’t sure if it’d be in poor taste or not to have this feature in the open, as I don’t want it to look like I’m...flaunting? However, realistically, I know this will help everyone interacting with me understand my workload. The last thing I want is for you to feel like I’m ignoring your questions or interacts! I see it all: the replies , the asks, the mentions, the reblogs (( I do go through and read tags and I love them all very much. 😭💜 even especially the thirst on main ones HAHA. ✨Oh golly, to everyone who tells me they love my art, you guys are the MVPs it makes my day so much! Especially reassuring with how much of a journey my consistency is and how I often I change my style; I worry haha~ 💦 ))

Now, while the !Survivor event is time limited; lasting maybe a month or two? (three if you guys like it enough or how asks go?) I’ll still respond to non-event posts, especially for threads on-going, so you don’t get bored or miss Trickster too much! 😂

With this counter in place I’d personally like it to stay around 20-ish asks if possible. *Wink wink nudge nudge* , So I’m humbly asking followers and fans to keep a general mindfulness about this so everyone can have a turn and try to send in one ask each.

If you’re running a fellow ask blog, don’t worry about the counter too much when sending in an ask (I know ideas can be fleeting) unless you’re wanting a fast response: This is because I want to interact with a variety of blogs as much as possible in the dbd community. ⭐ I’ll sacrifice the work load for lining up content 🙏.

Although, if my asks reach 40, I’ll set it as a hard limit cut-off and close ask-box until I can reduce it. This will be for my peace of mind of not getting too far behind~ 🌺

I would like to also try and be even faster with my response times, which unfortunately means cutting down on some of the art posts. 😰 I’ve streamlined my art while still remaining fairly pleasing to me, and I don’t want to sacrifice quality too much, so I will instead be reserving art for interacts and look more into doing text posts for general answers (Maybe even doing sprites, like a few of my friends, or keep up with some doodle work). Of course this is liable to change, depending on the inspiration or flow. I’ll take artistic liberties 📝.

With all this being said (whew that was a lot, sorry), I hope that this will bring you guys peace of mind along with me, and have you guys look forward to seeing the new system in place! Organization really does help so much... 🥰

I am looking forward to interacting with everyone and even streaming more art for you guys if you don’t mind a spoiler here or there on occasion and are interested. ( I try to stream often on discord, so again, a plug for the DBD server I’m running with a few friends. It’s turning into a really lovely place lately with all the amazing bloggers and we try to be drama-free and welcoming to all as a community~)

I don’t know how to wrap this up so...Lastly, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH!!! AAAAAH I’m sorry but IT’S SO AMAZING EVERYTIME to just be a part of this community and seeing everyone else unleash their creativity and show interest in mine. It’s truly such a wonderful thing and I’m so so so grateful to every single one of you that makes this place such a good one and looks at my art and just hhh 🤩 I’ll be sure to get back on the grind now LOL 💪 have a wonderful week every single last one of you.

#ooc #blog update #long post

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something-very-special · 3 years

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"Yeah, I'm... kinda special that way."

Minding my own business, working on another observations/impressions post, and then I realize I've accidentally spent half an hour theorycrafting based on twenty seconds of dialogue.

This got utterly out of hand. NieR conjecture, possibly spoilers, presumptions of deep lore knowledge.

This bowled me over: BroNier goes to visit Emil and they have an entire conversation about how Emil hasn't aged. I mean he hasn't (don't know if you noticed, it's hard to spot) but this was insane to me for two reasons: one, they didn't discuss this at all in Gestalt, and two, has Brother NOT been visiting him?! Popola mentions the letter with a familiarity that implies that Emil's name has become a regular part of the parlance between herself and Nier. Presumably they've kept up correspondence regarding un-petrifying Kaine, but I got a feeling from Papa Nier that he had been regularly visiting Emil, not just writing letters. Maybe it's because Papa Nier didn't even mention the difference so it just felt verboten that obviously it had come up some time in the last five years and they both just shrugged, but... Obviously the two still have a really good relationship so at least they've been keeping up correspondence (between Emil's insanely upbeat letterhead and the warmth with Brother greets him, which really hits in a whole different way by contrast to Brother's constant, simmering anger), but it was peculiar, and I don't believe that line was in the original. I still can't read Japanese so I'm talking out of my ass here, but I just feel like the entire exchange was much shorter (fitting with the conversation Papa has) and like it was added for the benefit of the audience. Kind of a 'no, we didn't forget to give him a new model, this is deliberate'. It does vaguely upset me that there was apparently a need to clarify. One of my favorite gameplay experiences was going through this with my friend-- I had done the full Ending D run so I knew exactly what was going on, but I was introducing the game to her in a Labor Day marathon so I was getting a lot of first-time reactions. She'd fallen in love with Emil at this stage, too, and was very excited to see how he grew up after the five year timeskip. I recall her audible confusion, and to have it actually addressed and explained away feel like a deprivation of a wonderful moment. Although the initial reaction is still there. I think I like playing this game alongside other people because, while I'll never be able to experience it for the first time again, I can do so vicariously through others. The person I'm playing with now is familiar with the original (from years ago) and also had a moment of audible confusion. Even disregarding that, it's difficult to be too offended because it introduces another bit of intrigue that's always been kind of on the back of my mind; how long has Emil been awake? I had been under the assumption that he had been put into a similar hibernation as the Gestalts (or at least some form of sealing, having fulfilled his duties as a weapon for a nearly-extinct humankind) and woken up relatively recently-- recently enough that he wasn't aware of his effective immortality, and of course being so isolated from the world and having his memories wiped the fact that he wasn't maturing just might not have registered (or maybe just been rolled in with 'I dunno man I'm a cute gorgon I'm already kinda weird!'). However, here, it's not only acknowledged, but something that he actively tries to brush aside when Brother asks him about it. "Yeah, I'm... special that way." So he's fully aware that, basilisk gaze aside, there something ain't right about him and it implies, if not shame, at least some level of discomfort. Which in turn leads me to ask a question that hadn't really occurred to me before-- how would he have had the experience to know Brother or Father's age and build by the sound of their footsteps? Obviously he's encountered people before; can't learn that just by listening to the scrabbling of your giant spiders. And that ties in to the observation that, of course, he's wearing the style of Seafront. If he didn't have his memory from the weapons laboratory then he had to have realized more recently the nature of his petrifying gaze; the statues in the courtyard are consistent with the 3300-era styles, which could be discarded as just

reusing extant NPCs until again you remember that they made Emil this complex and knew he'd only be around for an hour. It wouldn't have been out of the question to just put the male statue in a semblance of a suit-- just some little oddity. It's an unmoving model, after all, a relatively minimal timesink; how many hours do you think went into programming the seals? (A lot of hours. A lot of love. Look at those boys roll away.) So he must have encountered other people, from Seafront. The manor is considered 'haunted' in modern times, so it must not have been particularly recent, although probably also not that far back (it's hard to imagine they just never went to the library for decades-- although I assume that Rubrum actually wasn't active until after Weiss had been awakened, it was her activation that attracted the Shades, and it was this factor that alerted Sebastian to the possibility of being able to find the petrification research in her pages. That's all pure conjecture on my part). So long has Emil actually been awake and active? A while. Given his response to Brother mentioning he doesn't age, probably much longer than he would care to admit. Which leads to further conjecture, and of course this was always an eerie question: how did those statues wind up in the courtyard? Who were they? If Emil didn't remember anything from the weapons laboratory and just his more recent memories... why would he be so ashamed of his power? What did he do? By the time we meet him he's already, um... not doing so well. Kaine pegs him immediately as being the same as her; blessed with a horrific power, frightened and ashamed of what he's capable of, quietly harboring feelings of worthlessness and self-loathing ("You told me that even a life such as mine has value!"), and perhaps not... entirely... dismissive of dying. (He is, like, super okay with putting himself between Rubrum and everybody else in the library-- and Replicant actually changes Weiss' line from 'Brave words, but I see your knees quaking in fear!' to one that says it's pointless because everybody else is already too dumb to retreat, implying that Emil wasn't necessarily being brave so much as he put the worth of his own life below that of people he met anywhere from five minutes to twenty seconds ago. That or he knows he has about ten times as much HP as Brother does and with his staggering M. Def can tank hits from Rubrum for days.) I don't think it's a particularly hot take (even from me, on this blog, probably) to assume that Something Happened in the past that caused Emil to brand himself a monster and shut himself away in the Manor. What's only just really sinking in for me is just how far back int he timeline that might have actually happened, and how different the circumstances were when it did. How long has he been in the Manor, then? I used to assume a few years. I figured the statues were from before-- more concurrent with the audio drama, 'present day' more or less. Thinking on it again? It's... been a while.

#NieR #NieR Replicant #Theorycrafting #Emil #No. 7 #Writing essays about MY BOY EMIL I feel YOUNG AGAIN #But seriously did Brother just ghost him for five years? What a jerk.#Headcanon proposal: Emil didn't adopt Seafront's style. Seafront adopted Emil's.

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ghostboy-gamedev · 4 years

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Learn Log #4 - Grassy Grove

On week 4 of my pixel art journey, I learned how to make objects of nature including grass, bushes and trees. Unfortunately, I had to postpone this to this week when the learning and blog post was set for last week as I was just preparing for a return to university (it’s all online – social distancing dw). Anyway, I ended up making the forest scene you see above, and it was a lot of fun. I think that the GUI elements last week had a focus on technicality and exactness. Letters are very rigid, and we have somewhat set ideas about what each character should look like. However, nature is more flexible and therefore logic isn’t as heavily involved.

Tile Sets

Before jumping into the actual elements of this week’s piece I want to talk about making pixel art tiles. You will have probably noticed that the nature scene is quite rigid like each element is set into a box. This is because I’m learning pixel art to make games and games often use tile sprites to build their environment.

Tile sprites are the floors and sometimes walls of the environment. They often loop or repeat to cover the environment, however, some engines have tools allowing game designers to build environments tile by tile.

In the first case, the tile sprite will have to be created with its looping in mind and details may be added to provide variation in the environment. However, these added details may highlight the repeating the pattern and the more a detail sticks out the obvious the repetition becomes. Additionally, smaller tiles will repeat more frequently, and this also shows repeating textures.

The second scenario requires variation to be created from the creation of multiple tiles. This is great for creating variation; however, the tiles will also have to line up with each other which may be trickier for more rigid surfaces like rocks or bricks.

Since Unity has a tile builder tool and I was creating a natural environment where tiles wouldn’t need to line up so clearly – I decided to go with the second option.

The size of the tiles may also dictate the size of the rest of the game. For example, a bush may be 1 tile large in terms of level design, so the size of that bush is determined by the size of the tile. This also goes for the player whose sprite will typically range from 1 tile to 2x2 tiles. I decided to just make my tiles 16x16 as I enjoy learning within that space.

Grass

A grass tile is typically made of a green background with blades of grass texturing the surface. Many people may open up a couple of green canvases and start texturing them with green lines, however, there’s a much better way to do things I think. Since we’re working with 16x16 tiles there’s a limited number of shapes that look like grass and are small enough to fit within the tile. So, if we make a bunch of lines in green then we have blades of grass that we can copy and paste into each tile (the blades should typically be a lighter green as light will be hitting them).

However, having blades of grass like this make tiles look flat. Adding shading will fix this issue by giving the grass depth, however, more complicated shading will obviously make the background more complicated which can affect the readability of your game.

Each blade of grass can now be copied into a 16x16 canvas to make grass tiles. I made 4 grass tiles shown below putting approximately 10 blades into each tile. I made each tile with different elements of the environment in mind such as short grass, long grass, bushy grass and leafy grass.

With these tiles, I created a larger image to test the repetition of the tiles. The repetition wasn’t a big issue; however, I didn’t think the leafy grass fit with the rest of the grass, so I decided to leave it behind for the next stage.

Next, I was going to add an extra tile for each of the current textures to reduce repetition as well as two flower variants for each tile type to add some colours into the textures. I did another test of the tiles’ repetition and overall look and it looked good but somewhat cluttered though I figured that this wouldn’t be an issue when I deliberately place the tiles rather than randomly scatter them.

I had in my mind the type of scene I wanted to make for this week, but it required dirt paths. Luckily this wasn’t an issue to make. I made two variations of the straight, one-way paths as they would be tiling and altered one of these tiles slightly to make the curve and intersection tiles.

I then assembled these 15 tiles into the image below.

Trees

Next, I wanted to add some plant life which would involve trees and bushes. I decided to do trees first as they would be larger than the bushes. First, I started with the shape of the tree which would be fairly basic. I made a rough tree trunk shape to start with and topped it with a circle that was a little squished before refining the shape a little more to get what’s shown below.

I then added colour into the tree. A simple brown for the bark and 4 shades of green for the leaves. These greens were made by colour picking the base green background and hue-shifting it towards yellow so the tree would stand out more from the background.

The colours are organised into ovals to help give the tree a sense of depth. The dark shades wrap around the edges of the tree to show the tree’s roundness. The colour thins out as it goes around because you’re viewing the shaded leaves from a side-on perspective.

Next, I blurred the lines between these circles by mixing the colours slightly. This was the start of adding leaves onto the tree. Quickly after that, I added more detail to the leaves by spotting the head of the tree with lighter greens. The details added were in ‘leaf-like’ shapes like hearts, single lines, and arrows. They don’t look like leaves individually and can’t receive much detail themselves (such as a stem) but together they make the tree look nice and bushy. I also added some detail to the tree trunk including shading.

The tree trunk seemed a little off when I checked it out with the image I had so far, unfortunately. So, I added some extra trunk at the bottom along with a nice shadow. This shadow was the colour black at a transparency of 127 (or half transparency). This works really well as a quick and easy shadow on detailed background, but it does, unfortunately, mean the shaded area is not hue-shifted as typically preferred. The final product is below.

Looking at this sprite you may think it would be difficult to construct a game environment due to the leaves, trunk shape and shadow involved. However, we can place each section down as a separate 16x16 tile with the main trunk tile being a collider and other tiles not having a collision box (like decoration tiles – we don’t want players to run into tree leaves). This works out really well, and I focused on the main trunk tile when positioning the sprite in the piece. Which is shown below.

However, the scene below is bit lonely so I thought I’d add some pine trees as a level border. The process of the pine tree is similar so I won’t describe each step but will show the images. This time around I did shape the tree a bit more wildly with branches and leaves sticking out from the tree. I also hue shifted towards bluer colours rather than the more yellow colours I used in the round tree.

Next, it was time to add more trees into the scene and add some grass beneath them. I made the grass beneath them short grass simply because it looks a bit neater than the other grass types.

I think it looks pretty neat! I made a pine tree variant by swapping the colours with that of the round tree for some variation which worked as a nice, easy trick. But it would look livelier with some bushes.

Bushes

You might have looked at the trees just before and thought, ‘That kind of looks like a bush on a stump.’ That’s because the techniques used to make bushes and trees are typically very similar depending on the style of the game. Since we’re using a 16x16 size which is somewhat limited they will likely turn out in roughly the same way.

I started with a circle shape that was modified at the bottom to be a bit flatter. This will hopefully give the impression that the bush is touching the ground and rounds out on the top

I did a similar process in colouring the bush as I did with the tree, however, I used fewer colours as I didn’t have as much room for highlights with the bush. The colours used are actually the same as those in the pine tree.

I then adjusted the outline to give the bush a wilder feel as well as texturing the inside of the bush to create the appearance of leaves.

The bush still felt a little flat, so I added highlights to the top of it to add a greater sense of depth. The highlight was rounded towards its end at the bottom to enforce the rounded nature of the bush. This required me to add another outline tone for highlights which I might apply to other elements of the picture. I was pretty happy with the bush, so I made another for variation and added them into the picture with some shadows.

The picture looked pretty good, but I thought some touch-ups might make it just that little bit better.

Touch-Ups/Conclusion

To touch up the piece I added some more trees for denser looking forest, added the lighter outline colour to the tress and expanded shadows around some of the pine trees. I’m pretty happy with how it turned out. I think the shadows could use some refinement at the top border of trees. I also think that top border highlights the repeating pine tree trunk which could also be changed to tile better. I do wish my bushes were a bit leafier than shrub-like, however, I think my ability to make leaves on both bushes and trees will improve as I practice. I also think a 32x32 base picture would allow me to make some more defined leaves. The lighting on the pine trees also uses a different technique to the round tree so next time I’ll try to be more consistent with that. Overall though I’m happy and I quite like the outline highlights as they make the image a bit softer.

That concludes week 4 of learning how to make pixel art. Next week I’ll be looking at sand, water and rocks to make a top-down beach scene.

My learning and this blog post wouldn’t have been made possible without these fantastic resources. Go check them out if you wanna learn some stuff about pixel art!

How to Draw Tiled Pixel Art by TipTut

Creating Variation in Pixel Art TutsByKai

Pixel Art 101: Grass by Pixel Pete

How to Make Pixel Grass Tiles by TutsByKai

RPG Grass Background Tiles by HeartBeast

Pixel Art 101: Trees by Pixel Pete

[Let’s Pixel] Tree by HeartBeast

[Let’s Pixel] Spruce Tree by HeartBeast

Pixel Art 101: Bush by Pixel Pete

#pixel art #learning #gamedev #pixel aesthetic #pixel #gaming #learn

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dariamalek · 3 years

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Empathizing With The Enemy: How Toronto Artist BØNES Highlights My Newest Theory

I have never experienced confidence in hip hop music until I began listening to Toronto artist, BØNES.

I had mentioned before on my Twitter that I am taking a different turn on this blog for the next few posts. Given the restrictions of COVID settling slightly since the end of summer, (please don’t jinx it, I live in Ontario people) I have had the chance to finally go out and explore the music scene of my city physically again and I’ve realized that I have taken a lot of these artists for granted.

In all honesty, I hadn’t experienced hip hop music in the modern scene. In fact, music that is labelled as “hip hop” in the modern century turned me away because of it’s egotistical and materialistic themes; especially when it came to new artists trying to “make it big” in the hip hop industry.

My only experience and/or knowledge of hip hop comes from my dad’s old Biggie and N.W.A records as well as the really old Kanye songs I had downloaded on my iPod when I was in high school. However, there’s something so enlightening about BØNES’s music that is different to what the new up and coming artists are putting out.

BØNES, also known as Joe to the peasants that have the honour of interacting with him on a normal basis everyday (myself included), is a hip hop artist from Toronto, Ontario - which is something you don’t hear everyday (subtle Ontario satire for you there, I’ll wait for the applause to end). I actually have the honour of knowing Joe outside of his music career and I think it is his positive, down to earth personality that gets portrayed so vividly in his music, that makes him such an interesting artist. However, I will be referring to him for the rest of this post as Joe - not just because I want to be a little less formal but also it is extremely difficult to continue to press and hold the O key and click 6 consistently. I may or may not have arthritis by the end of his post which would totally be worth it if it meant the last thing I ever typed was BØNES in all caps.

Though it’s different to determine what exactly makes BØNES music so unique, I seem to catch myself finding similarities between him and an artist from Detroit, Michigan who calls himself JMSN. Though their music is completely different - the concepts are quite similar. Take a genre, modernize it and make it, well BØNES. For example, I very vaguely classified Joe’s (arthritis is kicking in) genre as hip hop however, I really don’t think “hip hop” is what it is. Let me explain.

According to writer and essayist Greg Tate, who had also written a fabulous essay called Everything But the Burden: What White People Are Taking from Black Culture, hip hop is a “complex culture comprising four elements: deejaying, or “turntabling”; rapping, also known as “MCing” or “rhyming”; graffiti painting, also known as “graf” or “writing”; and “B-boying,” which encompasses hip-hop dance, style, and attitude, along with the sort of virile body language that philosopher Cornel West described as “postural semantics Tate, 2021).” Interestingly enough, other than “rhyming,” Joe’s music doesn’t necessarily embody all aspects of hip hop; it evolves them the way we wish modern day hip hop does.

However, one part of his music that embodies the ideologies of hip hop is something called the “knowledge of self/consciousness (Tate, 2021).” I personally believe that this aspect should be at the top of a genre so popular such as hip hop. None of these newer artists embody this aspect which is disappointing to say the least because, as a genre predominantly African American occupied and originated, this genre should scream confidence and self strength. This was done by older hip hop artist who would use their music and platform to talk about their struggles as a community, eg. Grandmaster Flash and the Furious Five, "The Message" (1982).

And the beauty of hip hop is portrayed through language. See, modern day hip hop (please don’t ask me to name any of these artists, I will butcher anything that doesn’t start with “Lil”) seems to be riddled with very forward, egotistical remarks about how much wealthier they are than everyone else, how many “chains” they have or my personal favourite: how many “bitches” they have. Please, this USED to be a PG blog but look how far we come. We’re saying “bitches” on this blog.

There’s a difference between saying that and “now I’ve been stuck in this place and I’m aiming to grow (Thankful, 2019)” or “came a long way and I’m so damn proud (I Ain’t Miss A Damn Thing, 2020).” This switch in language embodies confidence in a way that is personal to the listener themselves rather than make them feel discouraged about now being at the same social class as the artist.

Joe’s (arthritis is back again) music is so empowering and cleverly phrased, as well as the context is all based around growth as he shares his experiences through his journey of self growth; by using a theory I like to call “empathizing with the enemy-” ahhh yes, we’re getting psychological in this one. You thought we were done with all the psychology. WRONG.

This theory is based around how individuals gain personal profit by “empathizing with the enemy.” This theory is embodied in this one BØNES lyric, and dare I say invented it: “I can’t really blame [him] if he’s nervous.” After listening to BØNES’s music, I began looking into the difference between gaining confidence and growing confidence. Gaining confidence is filled, or I guess ironically, is an empty confidence that is filled through materialistic things or bullying in order to fill a void in their character; a doubt that if they’re not on top, they will never amount to anything. This is so popular in modern day hip hop, when artists give value to sex, drugs and other controversial things in order to stay relevant or seem like they are “above” something. This does nothing for the listener; in fact, it does the opposite. I originally began researching this theory through literature; the effect words have when put together, the difference between “I can’t really blame [him] if he’s nervous” and “he should be nervous.” Notice how the words are similar, but the first one seems less demanding and forceful, where as the other one seems much more confident and self preserved; the concept of “you don’t have to like me, I like myself,” as corny as it sounds.

BØNES idolizes self growth, which is a constant theme in his music, and self consciousness. My theory is because of how far he has come as a person, and I am sure that the reason he is as charming and kind to everyone as he is, is simply because he is happy and kind to himself. And that means a lot when it comes to being an artist.

Many artists chose to fill a void with their art while others use it to spread the love and passion they have when they practice their art with others. This is so evident in BØNES’ music and it’s what differentiates him from newer artists trying to make it today. Rather than give in to the normal, consistent and boring themes of hip hop, his bubbly personality has changed the lyric game for the better.

Why is this important? Music is such a huge effect on the listener, the language more than anything, and it’s important that we understand the effect language has on people, especially in music. I am biased, as an English major, but if you’ve read my essay “Making Love vs. @&!$ing: How Music Has Watered Down The Value of Romance,” you probably already know my views on how important language is when it comes to music, mostly because lyricism evolves from poetry...I say as I look at the gigantic portrait of Shakespeare hanging from my wall. Or even compare different ways heartbreak is portrayed through music - that new Olivia Rodrigo song on Tik Tok versus “I Would Rather Go Blind.”

LANGUAGE IN MUSIC IS IMPORTANT. And BØNES understood the assignment. Let’s just say, I have a gym playlist especially made with Thankful and I Know on them because I feel just a little bit more confident when I look in the mirror afterwards.

As I begin this new series with pride in my little province (another little satirical joke for my Ontario people) and the artists within it, I want to urge you all to go listen and support your local artists and talents.

Oh and also go vote. Thanks. #OCanada

#canadian writer #canada #canadian critic #music #hip hop #poetry #lyrics #new artist #rapper #singer #musician #psychology #language #literature #canadian author #writer #author #blogger #novelist

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theydontknowaboutusimagines · 4 years

Text

The Set Up - Harry Styles One Shot (Part 2)

Part 1

Harry sighed at his sister’s words. He knew that should never set him up with someone that wasn’t a good person, but he just wanted to find someone naturally. Then again, how many times had he gone out with someone through mutual friends, so why would this be different just because he was his sister and his mother behind it.

Looking over at you, chatting and laughing with the man at the bar. His annoyance level was beginning to rise and he didn’t know why. Maybe it was because he was slightly jealous. He wouldn’t say he was a shallow man, but as with most human beings he noticed how beautiful you were. Your smile and what little bit of your laugh he could hear brought a smile to his lips.

“Go and talk to her,” Gemma said. “Just have a few minutes of a chat. We’ll be leaving soon anyway, so might as well get it over with now.”

He rolled his eyes, downing the rest of his drink and handing the empty glass to Gemma.

“Oi, what am I supposed to do with this?” She asked.

He shrugged with a smirk before making his way over towards you and the man. When he approached the two of you, he cleared his thought, making both of you look over at him.

“Uh, hey, Y/N,” he smiled.

“Hey,” you smiled back looking over at him.

“I uh, I hate to interrupt,” Harry started.

“It’s uh, it’s okay,” Alex said. “When you said you came here with a friend, I didn’t realize-”

“Oh, we’re not-”you started, but he had already excused himself.

“Sorry,” Harry winced.

“It’s fine,” you said. “So, did you need to tell me something? Is Gemma ready to leave?”

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you,” he said. “I thought since I invited you to come along, it would be rude of me not to.”

You sighed, looking at him, “Before we continue this, can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” he said cocking his head to the side in confusion a bit.

“Are you only doing this because Gemma put you up to this?” You asked.

“So, you know about the whole set up thing, too?” He asked.

“I knew it,” you sighed. “You know what, you don’t have to take pity on me for your sister. In fact, I shouldn’t even be here right now. I’ll just go and you can carry on about your night.”

You grabbed you jacket and hopped off the stool to make your way towards the door, when he grabbed your arm. You stopped, feeling this weird sensation in your body from his touch. You turned around to look at him. You two were standing closer than you had been all night.

“I’m not taking pity on you,” he said softly. “Do you want to know the real reason I came over to talk to you?”

You sighed shaking your head, “Why?”

“Because when I saw you talking to that guy, I was a bit jealous,” he whispered.

“Okay, you’re drunk,” you said. “And if you’re just looking for someone to fuck tonight, you need to look somewhere else.”

You went to leave again, but he pulled you back. “I’m not-Okay, maybe I’m a little bit drunk, but I’m not looking for someone to fuck tonight.”

You rolled your eyes, “So, what? You saw me talking to some guy and got jealous, for god only knows and now what? You don’t even know me.”

“Exactly,” he sighed. “I don’t even know you, yet I got fucking jealous over someone else talking to you because I wanted to be the one to talk to you.”

“Well, now’s your chance, what do you want to know?” You asked.

When you left your flat that night to go to the award show, you never imagined that you would find yourself grabbing ice cream with Harry Styles at one in the morning. After the little scene at the after party, he had asked you to join him for ice cream and you found yourself saying yes.

Which brought you to where you are now, stopping at the supermarket to grab a pint of ice cream, since all the shops were closed. You were sitting out on a park bench taking turns taking bites of the ice cream.

“So, my sister said you worked for The Mixtape?” He asked.

You nodded, “I do, although technically, I’m co-founder,” you said.

“Wait? Really?” He asked. “That’s been around for ages.”

“You know it?” You asked.

He blushed, “I may have listened to a few podcasts and read the magazine a bit.”

You smiled, “I started the blog when I was sixteen with one of my best friends. I mostly posted about my favorite songs, albums, how music easily music could take you back to a place or a memory. I would also talk about different shows or bands I had found. Then it sort of just took off... turned into more a website after we found a few other writers because it was too much for the two of us to handle. Next thing I knew, we were printing a magazine with interviews with different artists and other music fans. And now we’ve started a podcast to really dive into topics.”

“Wow,” he said. “That’s amazing.”

“Thank you,” you blushed.

“Now, I do have to ask,” he said. “Since you own a music website, I assume you’ve listened to my music before?”

“I have,” you nodded. “Let me guess, the follow up question is going to be... am I fan?”

He laughed, “Perhaps.”

“I’ll be honest with you. I am a fan,” you said. “But as far as keeping tabs on who are as a person, I’m not that type of fan. The only things I do know about you are from Gemma and your mum.”

“Oh god,” he laughed. “I feel like I’d rather you google me.”

“Stop it,” you giggled. “They never told anything bad... except maybe not to try anything you’ve cooked.”

“I swear I’m never going to live that down. It was one time. I was watching a cooking show and I thought I’d give it a go, but I didn’t exactly have all the proper ingredients, so I improvised,” he laughed. “It was horrendous.”

You giggled, “How old were you?”

“Twelve, I think?” He said. “I was trying to be nice and cook my Mum dinner instead we ordered pizza.”

“Well, it’s the thought that counts,” you smiled snagging another bite.

You noticed him watching you, staring at you, with a smile causing you to blush, “Uh, what’s wrong?” You asked. “Do I have ice cream on my face?”

“No,” he laughed. “Nothing’s wrong...well maybe a little.”

“I’m not following,” you laughed.

“I’m going to have tell my sister she was right,” he said.

“About what?” You whispered.

“That I would like you,” he said. “I know it’s a little premature and we technically only just met, but I would really love to see you again, if you uh, also want to see me again.”

“I’d really like that,” you smiled.

It wasn’t until a few days later when you met up with Harry again. You two had briefly chatted over the phone trying to figure out where and when you see each other. During your conversations, neither one of you mentioned or referred it to as a date, but you had to admit you were hoping it was. You both decided on some doing something casual, a simple dinner at a nearby restaurant and then you said you would take care of the rest of the night.

Harry was on his way to pick you up and you could feel the nerves bundling up inside of you. You changed your outfit five times before finally deciding upon a pair of dark wash jeans with a gucci belt paired with a long sleeve see through black top. You wore your hair in a curly half up do with a bun on top, slipping on a few of your favorite rings and necklaces.

Once you were fully dressed, you took one last look in the mirror before throwing some necessities into your bag and heading into the living room. Just as you were grabbing your coat, your phone alerted you that you had text message. It was Harry saying he was outside. Instead of going through the letting him in process, you decided to just meet him there.

Pulling on your coat, you grab your bag, locking the door behind you and heading down to the main floor. You looked around, seeing Harry parked just down the street a little bit. You smiled knocking on the door, which he quickly got out to open the door for you.

“Thank you,” you smiled.

“You’re welcome,” he smiled.

The drive to the restaurant consistent of mostly small talk. A bunch of how was your day, how have you been, etc, etc. When you arrived, Harry gave his keys to the valet before following you inside. He had placed his hand on you back as the two of you walked in.

“Reservation?” The hostess asked.

“Yes, two for Styles,” He smiled.

“Right this way,” she smiled taking two menus and walking towards the back fo the room.

“Is a booth okay?” She asked.

Harry looked at you and you nodded, “It’s fine.”

“Your server will be right with you,” she smiled.

“Thank you,” both you and Harry smiled.

“If you’ll hand me your jacket, I can hang it with mine,” he said. “There are hooks over here.”

“Oh, thank you,” you smiled slipping it off and handing it to him.

Even though he was trying to be discreet, you could easily see him looking you up and down. You felt heat rush to your cheeks before sat on your side of the booth. Harry joined you on the other side taking the menu in his hands.

“Have you been here before?” He asked.

“Once,” you said. “Actually, it was uh, with someone from work.”

“Uh-oh,” he said. “I feel like there’s a story there.”

“Nothing gets past you,” you joked. “But yeah, there’s a big, fat, shitty story there.”

“I’m all ears if you ever want to share,” he laughed.

You laughed before skimming back over the menu as you gave the waiter your order.

“Okay, so what’s the plan for after?” He asked.

“Well, there’s pub that has a songwriter night a few times a week,” you told him. “I usually go to scope out any up and coming artists to profile on the site. I thought maybe we could check it out tonight, if that’s okay with you.”

“It’s more than okay,” he smiled. “I’d love to go.”

“Great because I already got us tickets,” you smirked.

“What would you have done if I said no?” He asked raising an eyebrow.

“Oh, I would have just found someone else to join me,” you shrugged.

“You wouldn’t,” he gasped. “You know for a fucking fact that you wouldn’t have near as much fun with anyone else.”

“Hm, I guess we’ll just have to see about that,” you smirked.

“Guess we will,” he smirked.

The rest of dinner had gone great, in between bites and sips, the two of you found yourself laughing and joking about different things. At one point, you two were laughing so hard, tears started filling up your eyes. After Harry paid for the bill, you both got up and he helped you slip your coat on. You smiled pulling your hair out from under the collar and grabbing your bag.

“So, I need to tell you something,” he said as the two of you waited for the valet to bring around his car.

“Should I be nervous?” You asked.

He laughed shaking his head, “I have that exact same shirt, but it’s in white...”

“Oh my god, you do not,” you giggled.

“I do,” he laughed. “It’s a possibility for tour.”

“Well, if you do, you know I’m going to do a who wore it better, right?” you smirked.

“You, definitely, you,” he smiled.

“Thank you,” you said looking down a bit.

The pub you were taking it him to was a few streets over, so it didn’t take entirely too long to get there. You smiled getting out of the car after he parked. He headed towards the entrance to wait in line, but you pulled him back.

“Follow me,” you smirked heading towards the back door.

“Well, someone’s a bit of a rebel,” he joked.

“Or I know a guy,” you smirked.

“Should I be jealous?” He laughed.

“That does seem to be your thing,” you laughed.

“I promise I’m not like a jealous, controlling type boyfriend,” he said quickly.

“Boyfriend?” You raised an eyebrow. “Already throwing the b word around? What sort of girl to you take me for, Styles?”

“I well, I mean, you know... Im just going to shut up now,” he said.

You laughed, “I’m just taking the piss out of you.”

“You know my sister said you were nice, and I’m starting to think she was lying,” he smirked.

“Remember how I said I could find someone else to join me?” you smirked.

“Fair enough,” he laughed.

You showed your tickets to the security guard, who let the two of you in, and Harry followed you over to the VIP section.

“Damn, you are quite official aren’t you?” He asked.

“That I am,” you smiled. “I mean it’s not exactly a suite or side stage tickets to an Ariana Grande concert.”

He laughed, “Maybe not, but it’s cool nonetheless.”

“Pst, I know,” you smirked.

In the hour that had passed at the club, you two had seen about 3 performers, finished a small cocktail and somehow had inched closer together at the booth. His arm had made it onto the top of the booth, which made you even closer. You found yourself looking over at him throughout the night whenever you sipped on your drink or bopped your head to the music. Luckily, he never caught you, but there were times you could feel his gaze on you.

Since the music was pretty loud in the smaller space, it was hard to make conversation.

“Are you having fun?” You asked him once the performer was done.

“I am,” he nodded. “I can’t believe I didn’t know about this place before now.”

“Well, glad I could be the one to let you in on a little secret,” you smiled.

“Maybe next time I can be the one letting you in on a secret,” he smiled.

“Ooooh, so not only have you brought up the b word, but you also want to see me again?” You smirked.

He blushed with a laugh, “I’d be a fucking liar if I said no.”

“Well, that’d make two of us,” you said turning towards him. “If I said I didn’t like the sound of that.”

Smiling over at you, you could feel him leaning closer towards you with a glance down to your lips. Instinctively, you moved your head closer to his, and just when you both were about to close the remaining distance between you, when music started playing again, causing the two of you to jump out of your little trace.

It had gotten late, so the two of you decided to head out. Ever since the almost kiss, the tension between you was growing. You weren’t sure if it was your own need or his as well, but you were practically itching at wanting to press your lips against his. Of course, you wouldn’t be opposed to taking it past way more than kissing, but this was still new and you didn’t want to just bed your best friend’s brother in case it didn’t work out.

When Harry pulled up outside of your building, he turned the car off and looked over at you.

“Do you mind if I walk you up?” He asked.

“Not at all,” you smiled.

He nodded as you both got out of the car and headed into the building. You typed in your code and then got onto the elevator. Neither of you said anything on the ride up, only once you were standing outside your door.

“Well, this is me,” you said.

He nodded running his hands through his hair, “Tonight was fun.”

“It was,” you smiled. “Thank you for inviting me out.”

“Anytime,” he smiled. “I meant what I said about seeing you again. I’ve uh, I’ve got to go to New York in a few days, but I’d love to see you when I get back.”

“Sure thing,” you smiled. “Just let me know when you get back.”

“Well, I uh, I was hoping I could call you, while I’m gone?” He asked putting his hands in the pocket’s of his coat.

“You better or I’ll hunt you down,” you joked.

He laughed, looking down as he shuffled his feed, “I should probably go. It’s getting late and I’m sure your neighbors don’t want to hear us talking out here in the hallway.”

“Right,” you nodded. “So, I guess I’ll just see you when you get back then?”

“Yeah,” he nodded.

You nodded again waiting for a spilt second to see if he would try to kiss you again, when it was apparent he was not, you grabbed your keys out of your purse and unlocked your door.

“Goodnight,” you smiled with a wave.

“Goodnight,” he smiled back.

You turned to head inside, when Harry’s voice stopped you.

“Wait,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper.

“Yes?” you asked looking back at him.

He walked closer to you looking down into your eyes as he put his hands on the sides of your face. Your gaze dropped down from his eyes to his lips and back up again. Next thing you knew, his lips were against yours and you felt as if your heart was going to burst.

Sooo... this one shot has now turned into more than one part. I don’t see it being super long... but we’ll see where this goes.

#One Direction Imagines #Harry Styles Imagines #Harry Styles One Shot

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