#also I have my OBGYN appointment today so that's one last health stress to get through | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pleaseeeimjustagirl · 4 months

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♡Weekly Chronicles♡

December 15,2023

Hey babes! This week was amazing I am so happy I have created this blog I love being a blogger. I've wanted to create one for yearssss but I never got the time to do it and didn't know what to base my blog on. I love seeing other girlies on the same journey of self-improvement<3.

♡Education♡

The semester is officially over for me on Saturday I am so excited I need this break because school in general can be so stressful and I need this time to relax and pour into myself more I'll probably be uploading here more frequently while on break.

♡Mental♡

I started antidepressants a little over a month ago and have been loving my journey on them my mind is clearer and I don't feel that little gray cloud following me anymore. I am present and not constantly worrying about others and things that I can't control. This is my first time using medication to finally have control over my mental health. Other than that my mental health has been so good. If you deal with seasonal depression you got this girl it's tough. Trust me I get it I've dealt with seasonal depression and anxiety for years and my inbox is always open for a chat but I ask before you tell me your problems ask how I'm feeling in the moment <3

♡Physical♡

I have been super consistent with my diet! Eating clean and working out every day I have been lifting 3 times a week. I didn't get to lift today because I am currently at work while typing this lol but I will make up for it by lifting tomorrow. I am currently fasting trying to make up fasts from Ramadan before Ramadan comes around again in March and I'm not going to lieeee it has been helping me look extra snatched now! Like I woke up looking in the mirror like yesss but fasting has so many benefits besides keeping you snatched it helps a lot internally as well. I recently ordered some items for my gut health journey and it's at the post office so I'm going to pick it up tomorrow super excited! This is unrelated but last night I didn't want to get out of bed to do my nightly skincare routine but I forced myself to remember my goals so I'm proud of that.

♡Hobbies♡

I have been consistent with my Italian lessons on Duolingo which I highlyyyy recommend for anyone trying to learn a new language the way its set up is perfect for me with the colors and drawing it feels like a game to me lol. I haven't been reading like I was supposed to I think I only read 2 times this week that’s super baddd I need to stay on top of it. I have been blogging consistently and I love seeing you girlies reflagging and hearting my content it means a lot and I def need to do a Q&A I’ll drop one next week for sure. I want to invest in soap making as a new hobby for me it looks like so much fun!

♡Plans For The Weekend♡

I have a trip coming up next week I'm going to Maryland for a convention with a couple of friends from the 23 to the 27. I am super excited it's going to be so much fun. So this weekend I'm getting a lot of things together. I have to look for a few of my outfits for my trip and I'm waiting for my shoes to come. Also, I have my final this Saturday and an appointment with my OBGYN ladies don’t forget to book appointments for your check-ups your inner health is super important please take care of yourselves!

This was this week's little journal entrieee not that much occurs in my life but I still love the little update I gave you ladiesss. Comment your plans this weekend and how did your week go?

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joonistheuniverse · 7 months

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Chapter 5 - Darling and Jagiya (Part II)

It's the next day and you're back to work, walking down the corridor towards your department after a 2-hour brainstorming meeting, and already feel exhausted. Not wanting to ponder over it, you check your calendar. You have another 2 meetings to attend, sighing to yourself and making your way towards the conference rooms.

It's 3 p.m. and you conclude that it's been a hectic day. You receive a reminder about your appointment with the OBGYN regarding your current health status. Without stressing about it further, you get up to attend the other 2 meetings with the marketing and set design departments respectively.

After the last meeting concludes, you take your phone to message Namjoon and Samatha about your appointment. You log out and drive for the appointment. It takes you 20 minutes to reach your destination. Waiting in the sitting room of the clinic, you feel nervousness bubble in your stomach. The nurse calls your name after 15 minutes. Dr. Yen greets you with a smile, "Hello, Y/N. How are you doing today?" You simply reply, "Yes, I am good. I hope the report is okay too." Saying this you take a seat.

Pulling your report out from the pile, she once again skims through it with her eyebrows furrowed and then she asks you, "How sexually active are you with your partner?" This question takes you back to the times you and Namjoon have had sex. The way he holds you close, whispering praises as he thru… "Yes, it is good and healthy." "Do you have unprotected sex? If yes, do you take birth control pills?"

"Yes, of course. I do." "Okay, so the thing is that there's nothing wrong or suspicious in your report. It's the pills that are affecting your hormone levels with stress as the external factor adding to this." "Oh, okay. I have been taking these." You pull out the previously prescribed pills to show Dr.Yen. She takes a look at it

"Okay, so I'll prescribe you a new one. Which won't have major effects on you. There could be minor ones, as all birth control pills do. And don't stress about work. Samantha tells me how dedicated you are." You smile at that. "Thank you, Dr.Yen. It was a pleasure to meet you." She smiles back and you exit the clinic towards your car to head to the next destination.

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It's been three days since you've seen your boyfriend. As both of you have had very busy schedules. You smile as you drive towards his apartment, located in Seoul's luxe locality with the thought of how lucky you are to have him as the love of your life. On entering the parking lot, you spot the valet who's waiting for your arrival.

You ring the doorbell, and Namjoon welcomes you with a warm hug followed by a peck on your forehead saying, "How was your day, babe?" while caressing your waist as you both step into his apartment. "Hmmm, it was tiring. I was stuck in a loop of meetings. What about yours? Weren't you supposed to meet the producer for your songs? Did it go well?"

He escorts you to the dining room, chuckling, "Babe, breathe you have so many questions. And yes, I met him to show the new beats for my song. Oh! Also, what does your report say?”

This question melts your heart, "Yea. The doctor said it was the side effects of the birth control pills I am currently taking, topped by stress. So, now she has prescribed another one for me, which she says is a bit safer and has slightly fewer complications."

He looks at you intently, takes your hands to rub soothing circles and kisses them gently.

"Okay, I hate how these pills affect the woman's body. But, I am glad that there's nothing serious."

"Anyways, Joon, I'll go and freshen up. My muscles are aching." "Do you perhaps need some help?" he says, wiggling his eyebrows. "No! You continue writing the lyrics till I come back."

After 25 minutes of relaxing your stiff muscles, you return to the dining room and watch Namjoon heat the food.

"Jagi, do you want me to pour you some wine?" "Sure, if you're drinking tonight, I will. It's been a very long day, Darling." You smile, leaving a small peck on Namjoon's lips, that makes him show his deep dimples.

With the drink in your hand, you straddle his lap, and both of you take a sip of your respective drinks. Sensing the sweet, ripe fruity flavours tingling your tastebuds, you hum by drinking the wine. With Namjoon holding the rock glass in one hand and another hand supporting the small of your back, he leans in and nuzzles himself in the space between your neck and shoulder; peppering your neck with light kisses. You lean in further as he pulls you closer towards him, sitting directly above the area of his crotch. This automatically makes you slowly grind your groin against his. The friction is fueling your urge to go straight into the act.

You pull back to take and place both of your glasses on the console table. After which, Namjoon sits back, as you now take control kissing him passionately starting from his neck to his lips. He groans against your lips when he feels your fingers slipping under his shirt. You can feel his abdominal muscles tighten.

You can feel his erection, making you slightly move behind and trace your hand below to gently palm it. "Fuck jagiya. Stop grinding or palming me and do something!" You smirk, feeling proud of how he's reacting to your touches. "Hmmm, wait darling." You reply as you mark him with a hickey on his collarbone.

Further on, you get up giggling, slowly getting up from his lap, kneeling in front of him and making eye contact. Namjoon looked like he'd do anything for you to go faster. "Darling, you look eager", you cheekily replied. "Don't worry, jagiya, let's see who'll be desperate once I take charge." You hum instead of saying something.

You untie the strings of his short pants with him carefully eyeing your every move in anticipation.

As you are about to go further inching for his underwear, the doorbell rings and you step back. "Fuck!" you hear him curse out loud. "Who would it be at this hour?"

"Let me go and see using the monitor." You stand up heading towards the monitor, while he's still seated with his shorts pooling around his ankles.

Upon pressing the view function of the security camera, you see his manager - Joo-Won. It's an odd time for him to come after work at this hour, so it could be something important. "Joon, Joo-Won is here. Put your pants on!" You hear his curse again and groan, "Why is he here? I think he telepathically knew when I was about to receive the best blowjob." This makes you laugh at his misery, as he's now sporting a boner. "You open the door, while I take care of my problem here", he says pointing to his boner.

#namjoon x reader #namjoon fic #kim namjoon #bts x reader #series #bts #lovers #bts angst #bts fluff #namjoon boyfriend #idol au

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thegirlwholied · 3 years

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So. Having a brain MRI the day before election day was *not exactly relaxing* BUT my results are *back*. And totally, completely, deliciously-boringly *normal*. *Good News*!! We're now firmly back to "your bod freaked out, have some weed" (and thank you @aliform for that perfect summary) & oh yes will I ever be relying heavily on that recommended CBD oil today.

#so it was definitely a mild concussion with whiplash #but also totally unrelated allergies that have kicked in at the same time #and my already simmering anxiety BOILED the hell over #even though I am mentally relieved getting my physical body to understand this (the finger twitching MUST stop it is spooky) may take time #also I have my OBGYN appointment today so that's one last health stress to get through #presumably my recent Bad Periods are also stress? we hope??#that's the last box to check #for someone who was making a point of Going Nowhere *damn* I have had to see a lot of doctors lately #if I could get rid of the clicking in my ears (Eustachian tubes) & just deep breathe I think a lot of my stress would ebb #but the combined power of Claritin + Flonase is not doing the trick ahhhhh #if my OBGYN can just clear me & not give me anything else to deal with I'm going to take my ENT's recommendation #and try adding on the basic OG version of Mucinex for 3 days #hope that Mucinex/Claritin/Flonase together can go Captain Planet on my newfound allergies #what a year to get allergies for the first time hitting primarily my ears and arriving 36 hrs after hitting my head!#what a perfect little hellstorm!#thank god i got the MRI over with & results back *before* today though omg if it was later this week what would i even do

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xseildnasterces · 3 years

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resentment.

Another week, another nap, another day I wish was over and I could be in bed sleeping. That, I think, it my current weekly cycle. Right now, the weather is beautiful, and I am really hoping I can pull together the motivation to actually go out this weekend and do something. Yesterday I went to see a dermatologist for the very first time ever, and it felt good! As much as it should not be the case, private healthcare does seem to be much more thorough than public healthcare. I do not believe it should be this way, and I am also certainly not advocating for healthcare in the UK to be sold off to private companies. All I am saying, is when budget is not an issue, like it is for the NHS, healthcare can be very different. I acknowledge that I am very lucky to work for an institution that provides us with incredibly good health insurance, which of course we pay for out of our salaries, but all the same, it is very good health insurance and includes a lot. I honestly do not understand how people cope living here without health insurance – well I guess I answered my own question there, they don’t.

Anyway, as soon as the dermatologist realised that I was English the first thing she asked me was whether I watched the Harry and Meghan palaver. Of course, I had, so we chatted a little about that before actually moving onto what I was there for. She took one look at my skin, which I must admit looked better than it had in ages (typical), and she said she knew what I needed and that she could definitely help and improve my skin. I felt so relieved. I have tried so many things, both prescribed and other topical skincare and nothing has helped even a little, so I felt incredibly relived. We discussed my skin care routine, and the possible side effects of taking the medication I have been prescribed. I will go back in three months to check how things are going and she also said it could take that long to noticeably work. We talked about my other medical issues and as I expected we addressed how PCOS certainly made hormonal cystic acne worse. I have been provided with medication that is only for women and is specifically for hormonal cystic acne, which is why she said it should definitely work for me. Whilst I was there she asked what I was taking for my PCOS and I said I had never been prescribed anything before other than birth control when I was in the UK (which was not good for me). She urged me to set up an appointment with a gynaecologist to address my PCOS because she said it would be very beneficial for me to have that checked on and dealt with on a regular basis. Of course, I was diagnosed with PCOS almost ten years ago, so it’s perhaps a little late in the day to prevent any damage, but it will certainly be good to have it monitored. My insurance also allows me to set up appointments with specialists without referrals from my GP which is wonderful! I now have a dermatologist, an OBGYN, my usual GP and a gastroenterologist. Who knew I would have my own entourage of doctors and specialists? At least I feel like I am being well looked after. I have annual checks on everything and so far, all is good. I feel glad to have this amount of care. I now just need to get myself a dentist, optician, and orthodontist and then that’s the health stuff all out of the way! Along with the medication, I have also been given a medicated topical cream which I am super scared to use. I am so nervous with anything like this considering the ridiculous allergic reactions that I have had in the past. Tonight, is my first night starting both… so lets see how it goes.

I got upset last night. Yesterday I had my usual weekly meeting with my boss and without going into all the details of it, she made a comment about how she doesn’t want me going home any time soon and how she needs me in the office. I wasn’t even suggesting going home any time soon, nor did I intend to, but as soon as she said I couldn’t, all I wanted to do was run and get on a plane. I felt really upset and sad about it and ended up crying later on once I was in bed. I expressed that my sister would be home in a week and I had not seen her in two years so I fully intend on heading home for a while during summer. As soon as I said that her mood changed and she was super pissed off with me. It’s so frustrating. I have quite a lot of leave to take yet my boss is basically telling me that I cannot take it because she knows I will have to quarantine when I get back. It’s incredibly annoying and upsetting. My intention was to head home for a short while perhaps in May or June, most likely June, but now I feel like I will not have my leave approved. If that is the case I will certainly end up having another breakdown and end up crying down the phone. By June it will be six months that I have not seen anyone, so I cannot cope with not seeing any of my family and friends for longer than that, and personally I don’t think my boss should expect me to. It’s annoying that I am literally the only person at work who lives alone and is living here without any family members, so when other people are allowed to go wherever they want and I can’t its very stressful. I took is badly last night and was very upset, but I woke up this morning feeling a little better about it. I will be going home at some point this summer whether my boss likes it or not. I’m just not quite sure how I will be able to wing it.

I had therapy today and I had a really good session. We discussed my recent realisation and some of the regrets in my life. We talked about the progress that I had made over my time in therapy so far and how much I have developed. It made me feel good. I think I am starting to recognise and accept things about myself that I hadn’t before and although there is still work to do I feel better for it. I feel that I am no longer undergoing a fight in my head on a daily basis, nor am I constantly terrorising myself over things that I cannot change or do anything about. I know this is not permanent and I am not silly enough to think I will always feel this way. My struggles will come back, of course they will, but right now I feel more content with what is going on in my head, and that is certainly a bonus. We also discussed ‘someone I used to know’. We talked about feelings. We talked about the ‘magnetic pull’ I have always felt from them and how no matter what has happened I still feel that pull. We talked about what it was about this person that created that pulling effect and how to address and deal with that. We also talked a lot of about my feelings towards that person, both the good and bad and how things had changed for me since certain things occurred that I never believed would, and I learnt more about the person that I felt I knew pretty much everything about. It was a good session though and I felt that I was growing even during it. These are topics I have avoided a lot and it was the first time that I really opened up about my real and honest feelings towards this person in detail, and it felt like walls were really beginning to fall for me surrounding that topic in regards to discussing it.

I also sliced my thumb open at work. Do not let anyone tell you that there are no risks associated with being an archivist. I promise you, there are many. Today I was working with a super old file that had a small metal closure. As I was trying to release the papers from the metal closure, it slipped from my hand and ran all the way along my thumb cutting right down into it. Now, I hate blood, and my god, there was blood. I was dripping all over the floor and I couldn’t find any tissues or anything to stop the blood so I just grabbed an old cardigan and wrapped my hand in it whilst I ran through to another of the girls in the office to see if she had a plaster. She didn’t, and we spent the next ten minutes running through all the offices to find a plaster or first aid kit. When we did find a first aid kit it was empty… fabulous. We eventually found a plaster in someone’s drawer and I cleaned my thumb and put it on. Before I had even made it back to my office the plaster was completing sodden with blood and it was dripping again. It’s a wonder I didn’t faint. I pulled the plaster back off, with my blood splattering all over some documents on my desk – thankfully not the old records! And I made a makeshift bandage out of tissue and tape. Thankfully it lasted until I got home where I could properly wash and dress the cut properly. It is still incredibly painful, but it has finally stopped bleeding – so that’s something.

I am currently IN LOVE with the new ADTR album. I cannot stop listening to it, all day, at work, at home, whilst cooking, whilst walking. It is absolutely amazing. I think it’s just what I needed right now. I’ve really been into listening to Kerrang! radio again recently and after a weekend of female fronted metal bands and emo playlists, I am just loving this album. I would even go as far as saying it might actually be my favourite album from ADTR. I just adore every single song. ADTR really do make me think of Download. They are such a good festival band and so many songs of theirs are major crowd sing-a-longs. I’m so unreliable sad that I have to wait over a year to be in a field with a bunch of people singing our hearts out and dancing to our hearts content, but god damn, Download 2022 is going to be SOMETHING. And I cannot bloody wait.

#adtr #a day to remember #life #update #me #personal #diary #journal #thoughts #feelings #feeling #thought #memory #memories #therapy #love #relationship #resentment #regret

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blushing-and-breathless · 7 years

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Two Lies and a Truth

1) I am on the up and up with my ED 2) I can finally go to the store and buy a shirt without freaking the fuck out over it. 3) Out of all of the people who hate me, I hate me the most. What’s a lie? What’s a truth? 1) LIE 2) LIE 3) TRUTH My lies- oh my many lies.... mostly yeses and nos. Did you eat today? -Yes. Did you skip any meals today?-No. Do you feel like you’re getting better?-Yes How do you feel about the meal plan?-Pretty good. Can’t complain. I’m a fucking liar. The most awful part of it all, is that they believe me. As long as the number on the scale stays the same or moves up, they are happy.

I never needed to restore any weight loss because I never lost any. How fucked right? A girl with an ED who doesn’t look like she has one... Yet again in life, I don’t fit the stereotype. I don’t look sick. Eating Disorder: It’s the first diagnosis that shows on my chart. I’m what they call a “normal” weight. Normal? This is normal? I’m a fucking elephant! They say I just need to manage it. Go through therapy. See a nutritionist/dietitian. Get blood work every whatever amount of time. Heres what I was NEVER told about getting help: 1) Silence can be the biggest answer. All of this came about because a year ago I had gone to my primary’s office because I wasn’t sleeping but I was SO exhausted I couldn’t function. My blood pressure was taken and the RN had to do it twice because it came back low - 93/62 I’m typically 111/71. Prior to this visit I had never gone below 110/70. ANYWAYS...We went through a slew of questions and the last one was, how have you been eating? i never answered. (it’s in my chart I had irregular eating patterns throughout my life but never and ED) That was it. My silence dug my grave and buried my in it all within 2 seconds. 2) All the appointments. I’m what they call outpatient. I’m not sick enough to have to go live at a facility and be monitored- nor would I want to. I go to therapy once a week. I see my dietitian one to two times a month with weekly email updates- she also forwards all of my emails/records with her to my primary. If she didn’t do that then I’d have to see her every month as well. I know it doesn’t seem like a lot of appointments- could be worse- it’s a lot when you work full time and go to school full time. 3) Every Physician gets involved. Doesn’t matter if it’s my primary’s office or urgent care. Reminder: first diagnosis in my chart. My OBGYN, Cardiologist, Endocrinologist, past and current employer’s Occupational Health, urgent care physicians, and my past physical therapist all know. All have had a comment/concern/input about it. 4) You’re getting help but you’ve never ever felt so alone. I’m in constant contact with so many professionals who are there to help me. Doesn’t matter. Some days it feels like they understand and then other i’m speaking a different language. Some days I feel like they definitely help me and then others I feel like I’m letting them down, annoying them, and/or wasting mine and their time. My friends don’t understand. “I’ve gone on a crash diet once. It was miserable.” “I gave up Pizza for a month.” “I don’t understand how someone doesn’t eat. like... food is life. I fucking love food.” “It’s really gross that someone would eat and then go to the bathroom and thrown it all up.” “What do you do, just stick your finger down your throat? That’s nasty.” 5) Constantly fearing that they are purposely making you gain weight after stating you didn’t need to. I think that’s a bit self explanatory. 6) At a normal weight, following the meal plan, and following their rules, and doing everything right, you can still lose your period. Read it again: YOU CAN STILL LOSE YOUR PERIOD. Once more: YOU CAN STILL LOSE YOUR PERIOD.

what the actual fuck?! Yeah, I lost mine for 4 months, had it, and currently, lost it again. SO many problems with this- hormonal imbalance. My biggest concern??? fertility. You’d think that my desire, as strong as it is, to have children would make me want to change my ways. HA. Nope. Apparently now. Oh, side note: I’ve had my hair become dry, oily, break, and fall out. vicious cycle. Also, my skin went from breaking out like a 12 year old, to clear, to oily beyond belief, to breaking out again, to clear, to the return of cystic acne I hadn’t had in about 7 years accompanied by excessive dryness. I struggle to fall asleep, stay asleep, and keep myself awake enough in the morning to get out of bed. Getting out of bed is a challenge within itself. Going to class and work are a challenge within themselves as well. Example: I left class two hours early today, Why? I’m exhausted, stressed, longing for my bed, for sleep, I have homework to do and studying for tests. I called out of work for tomorrow as well. I’m just an awful human being. I have to live with that. FML right?

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