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wandaromanova · 3 years

Text

Geek

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

Warnings: cussing, sexual suggestion, that’s all!

A/N: hello! hope you guys like this! happy reading <3

anon requested: Hi Kass! Could I request a super fluffy clingy Nat that’s trying to take her girlfriend shopping for video games and completely geeks out about like collectibles, games and other stuff? If you’re okay with it of course.

Summary: Y/N supports Natasha’s gaming addiction, despite not being a gamer herself.

Word Count: 1.5K

| masterlist | request rules/guidelines | wips |

please do not repost or try and take ownership of my work. reblogs, likes, and comments are always welcome. <3

“Come on, babe!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

You rolled your eyes as your girlfriend, Natasha, pulled you by your hand and towards a store, GameStop, to be exact.

The redhead has always had a love for video games, which surprised you, in all honesty. It wasn’t exactly the fact that she was a gamer that shocked you, it was more like her favorite game was an unexpected one; Minecraft.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

Yeah. Natasha Romanoff, the world’s deadliest assassin, absolutely loved to play Minecraft.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

She had a thing for creating various buildings in survival mode. There was something soothing about going out and finding supplies to use that got your girlfriend all excited.

Natasha played the game on the computer you had in the living room of your shared apartment, not having a game station of her own. So, you took the liberty of buying a brand new PS5 for her just because. Now, the redhead was on the hunt for a PlayStation Store gift card to purchase the BedRock version of Minecraft.

Truthfully, you didn’t know the difference, regardless of how many times Natasha had tried to explain it to you. Although you tried to understand it, considering how much your girlfriend adored the game.

“So… what’s the difference between the one on your computer and the one you’re trying to buy from the online store?”

You questioned your girlfriend as she dragged you towards the gift card section, her eyes scanning the plethora of cards for the one she needed.

“The Java Edition is the original version of the game that was created for PC users, which is the one I’ve been using. You can do multiplayer with other PC users.

You nodded your head as she spun around the gift card stand, her other hand still firmly holding your own.

“The BedRock Edition is for gaming consoles. This version allows cross-platform multiplayer mode, which means I can play Minecraft with anyone, regardless of their console.”

Her eyes lit up when she caught sight of what she had been looking for.

“Considering there hasn’t been a release of Minecraft for the PS5, I have to purchase it online, with this gift card.”

Natasha smiled triumphantly when her eyes landed on what she was looking for. She selected the card and proudly presented it to you, a wide smile spread across her face.

“Ta-daaa, my ticket into the realms.” Natasha scrunched her nose up while lowering her voice into an ominous tone. You couldn’t help but let out a small giggle at her antics.

“Is there anything else you want, nerd?” You looked around the busy store. God, there were so many weird people here, nerds.

“Okay, first of all… I’m a geek, not a nerd. If you’re gonna do something, do it right.” Natasha sassed and you raised your eyebrow at her as she began to pull you towards the collectibles section, not before shoving the gift card into your free hand.

“Potato, patato.” Natasha flipped you off, lifting her middle finger up behind her back as she guided you through the busy store.

You let out a chuckle, then suddenly, Natasha let go of your hand and practically ran towards your destination.

“Babe! Look!! It’s a baby panda plushie!!” Natasha snatched the stuffed animal off of one of the shelves and quickly whipped around as you caught up with her.

“Wow… very cool…” Your voice lacked enthusiasm and the redhead sent you a glare, landing a soft punch on your shoulder.

“Uh, don’t even try and act like this isn’t cool. The panda is my favorite animal mod! They do cute little tricks when you feed them bamboo.”

Natasha hugged the plushie close to her chest. She gave you the best puppy dog eyes she could muster, paired with pouty lips.

“Can I please get the baby panda? I’ll give you head later if you get it for me.” You let out a genuine laugh at your girlfriend’s words.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

She was really bribing you with sex in order to get a stuffed panda; adorable.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I mean I was going to get it for you anyway, but I’m definitely not declining that offer.”

Natasha let out a small squeal before pulling you into a bone-crushing hug. You winced, not being able to breathe.

“Babe, I- I kinda need to be alive to buy it for you…” You croaked out and the redhead loosened her hold on you, pulling back to peck your lips repeatedly.

Natasha let go of you and turned around to face the section once more. Her eyes lit up when she caught sight of another piece of Minecraft merch.

“Baby, look. It’s a torch-shaped water bottle! It looks exactly like the ones in the game.” Natasha tucked the panda under her arm, reaching out to grab the item that was on a higher shelf.

The Russian let out a huff when she failed to reach the water bottle. Shaking your head, you made your way over to her, placing a hand on her waist as you grabbed the bottle with ease.

Natasha rolled her eyes at you as you handed the object to her, a cocky smirk on your face.

“Show off…” Natasha muttered as she turned around to face you, staring at the water bottle in awe. She was freaking out over how detailed the design was and you’d be lying if you said it wasn’t the cutest shit you’ve ever seen.

“I’ll get it for you if I can get head, twice.” Natasha looked up at you with a smirk on her face, her eyes focusing on your face.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Deal.”

•❅──────────────── ‎⧗ ────────────────❅•

A few hours later

“Natty, dinner is ready.” You called out from the kitchen, your eyes lifting up to eye your girlfriend.

She was sat on the couch in the living room, playing the version of Minecraft she had just downloaded.

Natasha completely ignored you, too entranced by the video game.

With a sigh, you made your way out of the kitchen and sat beside the redhead, finally gaining her attention.

“Baby, the graphics are so much better on this version than the other one.” You focused on the screen and watched as she opened the door of a home she built while you cooked dinner.

“Look at all my dogs! I killed a ton of skeletons and got their bones so I could tame a shit ton of dogs.” Natasha smiled while your eyes widened.

In a room of the house, there was nothing but dogs. The barks could be heard through the surround sound.

“Jesus, Nat. How many do you have?” You couldn’t believe that she managed to find that many dogs. You’d watched her play a few times and you knew that it took a ton of time to come across dogs in the wild.

“I have thirty. Aren’t they the cutest?” You turned your head to face Natasha’s side profile, a smirk making its way to your face.

“Can I try?” You asked sweetly and Natasha immediately handed you the controller, showing you which buttons did what, before letting you play.

You let out a small laugh as you began to hit the dogs with your hands, spamming the strike button as much as you could.

Natasha let out a scream as the dogs yelped, your hits injuring them. You’d known this was possible because the redhead cried when she accidentally killed her dog on the PC a few months ago.

Seriously, she was devastated. This woman could kill men without flinching, but she cried for weeks after killing her virtual dog.

“Y/N! What the fuck are you doing? Stop!” Natasha exclaimed, yanking the controller out of your hand while you laughed uncontrollably.

“I’m sorry, I had to. They’re not real and there are way too many! You can’t possibly take care of them all. It’s a small price to pay for salvation.”

Natasha sent you a harsh glare, creases forming on her forehead. You let out a small sigh, wrapping your arms around her waist.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“You’re heartless. I’m dating a puppy murderer.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

The redhead grumbled out as she tried to get out of your grip, but you wouldn’t let her.

“I’m sorry. I love you.” You shoved your face into her neck, your words coming out muffled against her skin.

“No. Go fuck yourself. You killed two of my puppies.” The seriousness of Natasha’s tone sent you into another laughing fit.

You pulled your face away from her neck, and sneaked a few kisses on her lips before placing one on her nose.

Natasha tried her best to keep a straight face, but that didn’t last long. Her lips curled upward and she shook her head, cupping your cheek with one hand, and kissing you deeply.

You disconnected your lips and stared into her emerald eyes. Her forehead was pressed up against yours as her eyes scanned your face.

“God, you’re such a nerd.” You breathed out when Natasha pulled her face back from yours slightly, a faux look of annoyance and offense across her features.ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“For the last time, I’m a geek, not a nerd!” Natasha huffed out and your eyes softened, a playful smirk on your face. You absolutely adored her and loved to piss her off whenever you could.

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“They’re interchangeable terms for loser.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Fuck you.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I mean… I was promised head.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“I revoke that promise.”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

“Hey! That’s not how promises work!”

ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ

───────── ･｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ──────────

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#natasha romanoff x reader #natasha romanoff #natasha romanoff x reader fluff #natasha romanoff fluff #black widow x reader #black widow #request done

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thefanficmonster · 3 years

Text

Perspective

Corpse Husband x Reader (Female)

Warnings: Swearing

Genre: Fluff, Humor, RPF (Real Person Fic)

Summary: Corpse recounts the time he first met his now best friend who too has been gifted with a deep voice.

Requested by two Anons. This fic is a mash up of two very similar requests I got from an unnamed Anon and 🖤🥀 Anon, so a big thank you to the both of you for sending in your requests! I’m really sorry to be posting your requested fic so late but I hope the final product is gonna make the wait you had to endure worth it! If you come across it and read it, I hope you enjoy it! Love, Vy ❤

“Yeah, yeah ok, I know.“ I can’t help but playfully roll my eyes at the comments that are flooding in, “Before any more people address it - even though it’s only been five minutes - I’m gonna address it myself: I apologize for the absence of the guest I promised would accompany me on this stream. She made the choice to party until late - or should I say early - and is currently probably asleep. And...I just don’t have the heart to wake her.“

In all honesty, all the blame should fall on Y/N’s lack of responsibility but I could never say such a thing - she rarely let’s herself loose and allows herself to have fun so there’s no way I’m gonna hold this one instance against her. Quite the contrary actually: I hope she starts going out and having fun more frequently cause really deserves it. She’s a super hardworking girl, studying college and working her ass off simultaneously.

“For those of you who don’t know who I’m referring to: the girl in question is Y/N, aka Jumpscaretastic, a horror games oriented streamer. She was supposed to join me for this freaky journey but...yeah I’ll have to endure it on my own because fuck me.“ I take a look at my chat again, deciding to keep this interaction with my viewers going for a bit longer before I start the game. I may be stalling but you sure as hell won’t hear me admit it. The game may be terrifying as hell - I have no doubt it is - but I doubt it would affect me so much if Y/N was here. My eyebrows furrow automatically at the sight of one specific question that I’ve been getting asked quite a lot recently and I’ve been doing my best to avoid it cause the idea - to me, at least - is so messed up. Why, we’ll get into that later. “No- ok, this is the first and last time I’ll be addressing this wild assumption, you guys, so listen carefully. Y/N and I are by no means related. I’m not related to every deep-voiced person on this planet, just FYI.“ Speaking of Y/N’s deep voice which I’ve gotten so accustomed to hearing, I can’t help but recall the first interaction the two of us had when she got invited by Toast for a game of Among Us with us when Felix canceled on us due to technical difficulties. “I may not be related to her but she really put into perspective how other people feel and react when they hear my voice. I, honestly speaking was astonished by hers.“

A few months ago

“Ok guys, since Felix texted me about an hour ago, saying he won’t be able to make it, I invited a friend of mine so I hope that’s ok with you.“ Toast announces when the majority of us have accumulated in the lobby.

“Yeah, all cool. An introduction to them would be nice though.“ Charlie says, tampering with his avatar’s appearance on the in-game laptop.

“Oh, I’m sure she can do that herself.” He says with a bit of a chuckle, “Y/N?“

“I’m here, I’m here.“

My gaze moves from my chat to the monitor displaying the game in an instant as though it would reveal to me who the owner of this unfamiliar voice that just travelled through my headphones is. You know how my voice is considerably deep, yeah well this girl’s voice is six feet below that. My eyes have widened without me even noticing as I hurry to unmute myself despite being a little late to the reaction party which already consists of a ton of ‘OMG’s and “WHOA”s from the rest of the people in the call. Not one of them, however, considers to question the authenticity of the voice.

“Was that a voice changer or something?“ I say, my eyebrows shooting up when I hear the laugh I receive in response to the question - a sound so deep but simultaneously sweet and girly it messes with my head.

“I wish I kept count so I could tell you which number on the list of people who’ve asked me that you fall under.“ The girl, Y/N replies, “But for the record no, it’s not a voice changer.“

Realizing how hypocritical this question probably seems coming from me, I decide to believe her - probably cause she gets nothing if she lies anyways. “Oh, so this is how it feels hearing my voice for the first time, huh?“ I say, slowly nodding my head, still in slight disbelief.

“Yeah, meeting her was quite rattling - in the best way possible though.“ I say, fixating myself back in reality following the little trip back in time to the day Y/N and I met. “She’s now one of my best friends so that should tell you enough.“

It goes without saying that, since she’s my best friend, I know her quite well. That being said, with the detailed knowledge I have on her, I can guess she’s gonna be in for a massive hangover when she wakes up. I just hope she texts me when she does so I can make sure she’s at least semi-functional. Just then, my phone buzzes with a message. Much to my shock, it’s a message from Y/N. Truth be told, I didn’t expect her to be up for another hour or two or three but here she is, sending a simple text that reads:

“My head’s pounding like a drum mid rock n’ roll concert“

There are no emojis accompanying the message, suggesting she’s deadly serious and in quite a bit of pain. Ok, I won’t sugarcoat it - she’s in a fuck-load of pain right now.

“The Sleeping Beauty has awaken and is complaining about a headache, just in case you were wondering.“ I chuckle seemingly nonchalantly as I silently contemplate whether to text her back or call her instead. Who’s gonna know better than my viewers, after all... “You guys think I should call her? Or would that annoy her?“ I ask, furrowing my brows at the chat as I see different responses coming in.

Meh, fuck it - I think to myself, already taking my phone to call Y/N when the support of my viewers floods in as well.

She picks up after two rings, letting out a sound that sets the tone for the discomfort she’s in.

“Hello to you too.“ I say, putting the call on speaker so my mic can pick up her responses. “Would you please rate the pain you’re in right now on a scale 1-10?“

“A hundred.“ Her strained, raspy and deeper than usual voice comes through, stealing a chuckle from me, “I’m hungover and still a bit drunk. Like, how does that even work?“

“The morning after is a straight-up bitch. Welcome to the world of bad decisions.“ I tell her compassionately, low-key wishing I could go over to her place and provide her with at least a tiny bit of comfort, as much as I can.

“Yeah...“ she sighs halfway dramatically, “Anyhow, we usually text around this time, what’s up with the call?“

“Just wanted to make sure my best-girl wasn’t really dying, you know. Who am I supposed to annoy in Among Us if you’re not there, after all?” I raise my brow and, although she can’t see me, I bet she can probably guess I’m doing that.

“Whatever...“ The same way I can imagine her rolling her eyes while smiling as she said that, “Tell me this, am I wrong or was I supposed to be on your stream today?“

I barely manage to hold in my laughter at the question, “Uh, yeah you were, but...” she doesn’t let me finish my sentence, instead cuts me of:

“Oh shit, I’m so sorry, Corpse! I totally forgot. Believe me, if I could roll my ass out of bed I’d hop in but I really can’t. Unless you want me to be a bore for an hour and a half, that is.“

“For starters, you could never be a bore to me.“ I say matter-of-factly, “And for seconds, you’re kinda on the stream anyway...“

“Come again?“ She cuts me off yet again, “You’re calling me mid-stream? If so, hey everyone! Sorry I couldn’t join, I promise to make it up to both you and Corpse soon.“ A yawn comes from her end before she continues, “As of now, I think I’ll go back to sleep.“

“Alright, alright. I’ll call you again later to make sure you’re still alive. Sleep tight.“ I tell her, already hovering my thumb over the ‘Hang up‘ button.

“Won’t let the hangover bite.“ She slurs/murmurs, stealing my opportunity to end the call cause she does it herself.

I stare at my phone for a second, finally becoming aware of the grin that has spread across my face. Eventually, I address my viewers once again, “There you have it, guys. Technically, you can give her a pass for answering the call, especially in her current state, so let’s all agree to not hold this against her, cool?“

A brief look at my chat shows me the ton of fluffy comments that are coming in as a reaction to the interaction Y/N and I just had. One, however, sticks out especially. It reads: ‘You like her or smt?’

“Do I like Y/N?“ I read the comment out loud, a smirk coming across my face, “Of course I do. She’s a darling.“ If I had a webcam on I’d look straight into the lens and wink. That’s probably spark more than enough rumors, but at the very least they wouldn’t be wrong. “I’ve stalled enough, Outlast is waiting.“ I announce, finally starting the game. After all, it cannot be scarier than the conspiracies my fans could come up with. I get it though - from their perspective, we’re already the perfect couple; from my perspective we’re impossible because from Y/N’s perspective we’re best friends.

Ain’t that how it always goes?

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setsuntamew · 3 years

Text

So, Persona 5 Royal, huh?

Full disclosure: I had gotten about halfway through November on Wednesday and finished it out Saturday night, which took uhhh about 65-70 hours? Some of that was sitting there waiting for the PS4 controller to recharge or listening to music in the Thieves Den while eating, but I still feel like I need to own up to how extremely bad I am at making good decisions with my life XD

MOVING ON, THOUGH, HOLY SHIT. P5 was a very good game, but Royal’s additions & changes made it incredible. I like the ending way more; I think it’s more emotionally fulfilling and meaningful, especially with everyone’s more defined future plans. Definitely felt like everyone had more growth in the end!! Which is something I’d always thought P5 was lacking.

Snip snip for spoilers and the fact that this post ended up being too damn long, oops! the last third is basically Akechi feels and analyzing his ending, so......yeah XD

Part of why I plowed through SO much of Royal in so little time is....Akechi XD Like okay, this is my stupid fandom blog, I can be excited about him all I want!!! I got to Sae’s Palace and just....I couldn’t put it down. @dragonofeternal and I ordered an embarrassing amount of takeout instead of cooking because we just had to see how everything with Maruki and the third semester was gonna go down. I’d already been dying along the way because Akechi’s confidant dates are so good, I just. Fuck!!!

Also, look, for the entirity of Shido’s boss fight and the depths of Mementos/Yaldabaoth/etc, we’d look at each other every few minutes and just be like AKECHI SHOULD BE HERE WITH US, HE DESERVES TO GET HIS VENGEANCE ON HIS SHITTY DAD AND FORCED DESTINY!!!!!

December 24th had to be the longest god damn day in Akira’s life because like. Final exam grades are posted in the morning! He goes to school and then dives into hell, crawls his way back out, briefly dies by fading from human cognition, fights an actual fucking god, and then....ends up dissociating in Shibuya until Sae shows up and is like “oh hey thanks for everything you did, please sign up for being arrested now.” And while he’s still reeling from that, Akechi walks up to take his place, like some kind of bullshit knight in shining armor schtick, and leaves no room for conversation.

AND THEN WE HAVE TO GO ON A DATE

I romanced Hifumi this time around, because I wanted Akria to bang a girl who is just so incredibly out of his league, but....it’s not necessarily that I forgot I was dating someone, more that it had been *so many hours of plot* that I was emotionally exhausted. Like, Hifumi texted me and I was just like. Right. RIGHT. It’s still Christmas Eve, somehow. I was at *school* this morning. The whole world merged with Mementos briefly in the middle of this, Akechi is somehow alive, and I guess I’m going on a date now????

I do appreciate how many “god I’m just dissociating my way through this” conversation options there were for the date, tbh. I feel bad though, I really like Hifumi, but I feel like Akira is not giving a date his full emotional attention at that specific time. It feels a bit like emotional whiplash, more so than I remember it being in P5? Maybe it’s because I played it 4 years ago and there wasn’t the added emotional weight of Akechi’s reappearance, but it was just like....a lot, in Royal.

AND THEN THE NEW YEAR HAPPENED. I’d been spoiled on large parts of the third semester, mostly because Royal’s been out for a year already and I’m too curious for my own good. I’d also somehow lied to myself, saying I didn’t have time to play another Persona game right now, and yet here I am, 171 hours of game play within exactly a month, kicking myself for not knowing how deep in Persona hell I would get XD

Which is to say, as soon as the new year started, it felt I was drowning in anxiety. I knew something was wrong, I knew they were in a false reality, but knowing that sure as fuck didn’t make it easier to go through. If anything, it was somehow worse, knowing that it was all gonna come crumbling down, but I didn’t yet know the exact details, only the broad strokes of it. Just. Every time someone talked about something that was wrong, my heart would clench.

God, I’m so fucking tired, I pulled an all-nighter on Friday so I could get through Royal before having to work on Sunday, and I am feeling it right now. Life tips: don’t do what I do XD

Every moment with Akechi felt like borrowed time, at least for me, because I knew what was coming. I spent so much time in Mementos with him; I ended up putting just him and Akira in my party and plowing through everything, including trouncing the Reaper over and over just for the hell of it. I got his ultimate weapons, I spent so many nights in the jazz club with him that he ran out of dialogue options, and I still took him back for more. I accidentally failed to EVER trigger Sumire’s Showtime because every fight was just Akira and Akechi against the world, because fuck it, I’m playing this for fun!! If I want to play with them in stupid costumes and no one else in the party, I’m gonna. Royal did such an incredible job giving Akechi more depth and development: it was all I could hope for, and it made it that much fucking worse to know what was in store for him.

Somehow, I thought it would be harder for me to make the decision to refuse Maruki’s deal, since fuck, fuck what I wouldn’t give for Akechi to be alive???? But I barely hesitated, only really stopping because I had to emotionally brace myself for it, because a reality where he can’t carve out his own fate would be a disrespect to everything their relationship is built on.

I have a whole shit ton of feelings about post-beating Maruki but they’re basically all Akechi related meta so somehow they ended up at the end of this post, I’m sorry XD

I understand that they had to keep the going to jail bit because 1) Akechi didn’t turn himself in, Akira did and 2) it leads to the final events of the game, but let me just say....the emotional roller coaster of fighting Maruki, almost failing multiple times, waking up in jail, the Phantom Thieves & friends getting Akira out of jail, celebrating that, and then getting thrown into Valentines Day was a LOT for my heart to take. Once again, didn’t forget I had a girlfriend, just got too invested in the plot to really be thinking about her. It’s less than two weeks after the fight with Maruki and somehow, everything is supposed to be okay????

The scene with everyone talking about their future plans is such good character growth, though. Everyone feels like they’ve truly grown and are making decisions that, even though they might be painful or hard at times, are ultimately very important to them. It’s a really good contrast to the “almost everyone goes to Shujin and they all stay in Tokyo forever without doing anything for themselves” Maruki’s perfect reality bad end.

Standing in the Underground Mall on White Day, being told I had to get flowers but finally being able to have control of Akira again was....so bittersweet. The fact that the location of the date is the aquarium is a low fucking blow, and I almost threw the controller across the room I was so upset. Like. THE AQUARIUM IS UNLOCKED BECAUSE AKECHI HAS TICKETS HOW FUCKING DARE SOJIRO SUGGEST IT LIKE MY HEART ISN’T STILL ACHING????? God, speaking of that: The fucking god damn Featherman video game tore my heart out because I ended up playing it WHILE WORKING ON SHIDO’S PALACE and I cried a ton about Gray Pigeon because of course they had to dig the emotional knife in even deeper!! Just fuck me up, it’s fine, I’m just dying!!!!!!!!!!!!

I ended up scrolling through his texts to find the group chats that still had Akechi in them, and fuck, it was a LOT. Like. Maybe it’s because I’m too invested in the two of them, but it was probably the worst emotional whiplash of the whole game. Like, how am I supposed to go play happy with anyone while staring at texts from a reality built of lies? It wasn’t real but the proof lives on in his phone and his heart, and I’m still fucked up over it.

HOWEVER. FUCKING. I SPENT LIKE HALF AN HOUR BEING EMOTIONALLY COMPROMISED ABOUT ALL THIS AND THEN DISCOVERED THE BASTARD STILL HAD ALL HIS EQUIPMENT, INCLUDING THE ULTIMATE MALE ARMOR!!! He returned his shit after Sae’s Palace even though he thought Akira was dead, but this time it didn’t get fucking returned to my inventory, so he must have fucking run off with all his shit!!!!!!! Why the hell did none of it get returned if he was never alive in the true reality? Like I know it'll be returned for a new game+ but I like to nitpick game mechanics for story reasons, because one of the things I love most about video games is the experience of them as another layer to the story. The texts from the third semester shouldn’t exist anymore, since they never really existed, but there they are. Akechi insisted that he has a gap in his memory after Shido’s Palace up until seeing Akira on Christmas Eve, but who can say that wasn’t related to Maruki tampering with reality or some other Persona-related reason?

I mean. I got the full and complete True Ending; I saw him in the train station. If that’s not Akechi, then who the fuck is it? Atlus made sure to put the work in to make him a part of not just the main story but also, especially, the third semester, and for what....to have his final time on screen be as the butt of the joke, squished underneath everyone in the Mona-copter? As much as it hurts, his end in Shido’s Palace matters; it fits his character and he gets to go out fighting- carving his own path, really. In Royal, barring the tiny glimpse of someone who’s probably him in the train station, the last we see of him is when he watches Joker let go of the rope to finish off Maruki. I know we got the heart to heart where Akira agrees to reject Maruki’s deal and Akechi insists that he’d rather be dead than live in a false reality, but.....no one even says goodbye to him. It’s tragic, it’s painfully lonely, but it doesn’t feel right for such a major character.

Also, as undignified as it is, for the first time ever, Akechi looks like he actually belongs in the Phantom Thieves in that final moment. He’s never been the butt of their jokes before; they always kept him at arms’ reach and he took himself too seriously to be included, but for that brief moment, it really felt like he was part of their group. He stopped lying about himself for their last month together, and so even if they don’t all like him, they can make that decision based on the truth, instead of layers of lies. His death is all the more tragic for this; a life cut short just when he’s finally finding a place he belongs. But his death was already painful; why make it so, so much worse?

Final thing: I’m gonna be spending a ton of time in the Thieves Den trying to find Akechi’s opinions on everything, but also....hey. HEY. What do those six stars that Jose (probably?) painted on the wall mean? Is it just a reference to Persona 6???? LIKE????? I HAVE QUESTIONS. SO, SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!!

Anyway, I’ve gotta go cry into my Starbucks and desperately try to focus on actually doing my job at work, but I loved Royal deeply and cannot wait to drown in it ;w;

#persona 5 royal #p5r #persona 5 royal spoilers #goro akechi #akeshu #I have just so many Akechi feels I'm sorry #long post #persona 5 royal meta

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itsclydebitches · 4 years

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RWBY Recaps: Volume 8 “Refuge”

Happy Saturday, everyone! Welcome to week two of… fourteen? Is that how many episodes we’ve got this Volume? Man, we’re going to be here for a while.

There’s a ton to unpack in “Refuge,” but as promised I want to delve into the opening first. Given the scattered, symbolic nature of our intro I think it’s easiest to just chuck out observations in list form. I’ll segue back into cohesive recapping in a moment.

So, what have we got?

The glitching between a happy, whole Atlas and the burning wreckage we’re now dealing with. That works well given both Atlas’ tech-focus culture and the ways that tech has led to some of our biggest tragedies (hijacked army, framing Penny, etc.)

Ruby looks scared and is standing behind the rest of her team, separated from them by the title. I’m not really feeling that theme so far though, given Yang’s incredibly weak challenge, Ruby’s immediate forgiveness (during her talk with Penny), and the fact that she’s still working with half the team who vocally support her, particularly Nora. Unless something drastic changes, the idea of Ruby being the outsider here is silly.

We get shots of the girls with their past selves superimposed over their bodies and weapons. I like the message here—they carry those versions of themselves with them—just not how it’s contrasted with Ironwood’s image of an earlier Atlas now burning. So that’s all he is now? Everyone gets to embody their growth except for him? His past is erased to focus solely on our current predicament? I’m not picking up any redemption flags here…

Robyn’s hand reaches down towards Clover’s badge, which then circles to show off the Ace Ops. The final image contrasts an angry Harriet with a defeated Qrow. At least, I hope they’re contrasts. It’s going to read as absurd if they somehow end up working together after Qrow helped get her leader killed.

This morphs into Qrow alone who sits, devastated, until Robyn offers him a hand up and they both smile. I’m not a fan of this symbolism after the prison scene we got this episode. It’s like Qrow might have thought about his choices until Robyn’s anger reminded him that, oh yeah, he can be angry at Ironwood instead. These two teaming up, when their last team-up led to a death, is worrisome to say the least.

We get our horrifying image of Salem looming over Oscar as he clutches his head. The group’s weapons fall. This makes sense given this episode’s kidnapping and the team’s sheer inability to do anything to stop it.

Jaune stands determined—also makes sense with his trend of giving “pep talks”—while Ren and Nora stand apart, facing opposite directions. Nora looks back though.

Paralleling them are Winter and Weiss who also face opposite directions. This is becoming a common visual theme: Harriet and Qrow, Nora and Ren, Winter and Weiss. Here though, Weiss looks determinedly ahead while Winter stares down at her feet, unsure. Ugh, I just know they’re going to have her betray Ironwood too.

We get a brief glimpse of Whitley and Willow, not a whole lot to go on. Then we see Salem turning her chess pieces into grimm—literally changing the game—while Ironwood’s white pieces are turned to dust. I could make a quip about how white is supposed to go first, but the initial move was made thousands of years before Ironwood existed and thus he never stood a chance, certainly not when his own allies are actively working against him… but I won’t lol

Watts is smiling at a terminal while at his back Pietro works at his. More opposites. Pietro’s reflection looks to Penny even as his body continues to work, his heart contrasting his head. Penny, in turn, looks upset as her reflection flinches at something off screen and the glass cracks. Watts hacking her, perhaps?

We see the new teams as a cherry blossom (I think?) floats across the screen. It melts in Ren’s hand while escaping Nora’s. Honestly, I’m not sure what to make of that just yet.

Ruby and Yang share a look—undermining their supposed conflict this volume. Couldn’t we have gotten sister unity over the last three years instead?—and a fight against grimm starts up. It freezes as Cinder walks through it, hopefully implying that the group’s attention is on the wrong threat. While they concern themselves with low-level grimm, Salem and her allies are walking free and wreaking havoc.

Then Cinder screams and clutches her grimm arm as things go up in flames. I hope that’s not a death flag given that we’ve teased her death twice already and we only just got a glimpse at her backstory. Also, I think it’s worth mentioning here that there’s a “Summer is the Hound” theory gaining traction which, frankly, I think is 100% unsubstantiated. It’s a fun crack theory, but not something I’m inclined to take seriously until we get some actual evidence behind it. There is, however, potential evidence for people becoming grimm in general: Salem falling into the pool and Cinder receiving that arm. That’s not much though. So while I’m far from convinced that the Hound was once human—let alone that it was Summer—there is something to the theory that Salem may be able to control Cinder via her arm like she controls other grimm. After all, she knew Cinder was alive despite everyone else thinking she’d perished. They seem to have some sort of connection that hasn’t been explained yet and now that Cinder has willingly walked back into Salem’s clutches, she may not be able to walk out.

There are shots of all our other villains, the Lamp and the Staff reflected in Salem’s eyes, and Jinn’s blue smoke, perhaps suggesting that we’ll see her again, or the entity residing in the Staff (if they exist).

Atlas glitches back to normal—a false victory?—before the ice breaks and Team RWBY falls into the darkness below. Volume 3 vibes all around. There’s light above them emanating from the Staff, but as Ruby reaches for it grimm arms circle and pull her deeper. I hope this means that the group will suffer the defeat we need to keep Salem as a legitimate threat, but we had very similar imagery back in Volume 6 and they made it out of that situation just fine, so.

“Happy Ever After” glitches into “Happy? Never Again.” Which isn’t ominous or anything. We finally end on the classic RWBY image of Crescent Rose buried in the snow underneath the shattered moon.

On the whole I think the opening is strong and I like a lot of the symbolism in it, though I do question how much will actually end up being relevant to the story. My only gripes are that there are too many different styles going on—it feels like three or four different Volume openings slammed together—and the fact that it also feels overly long. I don’t think it’s actually any longer than our Volume 7 opening, but it seems that way to me, perhaps because of those varying styles breaking things up.

So that’s what we’ll be watching for the next twelve weeks! Let’s move onto the actual episode.

We open on the image of Clover’s bloody badge in Qrow hand, the same one we got in the trailer. I theorized last recap that we’d be getting the rest of our trailer/promo material this week and I was almost entirely correct in that. This moment, retrieving the bikes, fighting off the grimm, Watts getting hit, Oscar carried away… all we’re missing are some eye closeups and Nora powering up her hammer. As said, it makes me nervous for what the rest of the Volume holds. I can’t decide whether the footage wasn’t ready to be included in promo materials that early, or if RT is just determined not to give us any information past the first two episodes…

Regardless, this is supposed to be a moment of grief and all I could focus on was Qrow’s hand. Specifically, the lack of detail in it. On the whole, I’ve been very happy with the engine upgrade and I quite like RWBY’s animation now, but a closeup here draws too much attention to how, sometimes, they’re just not animating their characters in a way that looks natural. Where is Qrow’s wrist? Why is his palm perfectly smooth? Stylistically that’s usually fine, but when given the chance to stare at it you realize how odd it looks.

Says the woman whose own drawing skills suck but, ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

But we’re talking about the important bits in this episode! Out of frame Robyn is heard yelling, “This is your fault. You realize that, don’t you?” We’re meant to think that she’s telling Qrow this, especially with how he’s bent guiltily over the badge, until we cut to reveal Jacques right next to them.

I wish Robyn was saying all that to Qrow. It would mean that she was ignoring her own responsibility in Clover’s death, but at least it would have started an arc where Qrow has to grapple with what he did. Not the awful moment that’s coming up.

Before that though, Jacques claims that he’s the “victim” here who was “duped.” His hands may not be clean, but “at least I’m not a murderer.” Look, I’m not here to absolve Jacques of anything. The guy is an absolute shit stain on the Remnant world. However, he’s right in his overall point even if his words are BS. Meaning, Jacques is not a victim and he is a murderer, but he is not the one responsible for Clover’s death. Robyn has plenty of things to be furious at him for, but this is not one of them. Ironically, here we have Jacques functioning as the kind of villain the show wants Ironwood to be. He is a murderer because the company he runs exploits faunus and forces them to work in dangerous conditions (see: the death of Ilia’s parents). He is culpable because he a) had control over these conditions and b) has full knowledge of their flaws. He’s a racist who cares more about money than lives. His informed choices then led directly to deaths. Ironwood? Not anywhere near the same thing. Overlooking the “Omg Salem is here and I have to do something about it” context, he did not try to arrest Robyn. He did not force Qrow to resist arrest, or Robyn to get involved, or Qrow to break Clover’s aura, or Tyrian to stab him in the chest. Ironwood had no control or knowledge of these events, so he is not responsible for Clover’s death in the way that Jacques is responsible for the faunus’. RWBY is giving the right arc to the wrong character.

Robyn then insists that Qrow didn’t kill anyone. He didn’t strike the blow, but he certainly helped! Look, Qrow is one of my favorites, but I’m not about to claim that he didn’t have a hand in getting his friend killed. I seriously can’t believe the show is ignoring this.

We then segue into some, uh, questionable dialogue choices. Jacques is a “snake with a mustache”? Sorry, I can’t take Robyn seriously at the best of times, but definitely not when she’s tossing out laugh worthy insults like that. Nevertheless, this “snake with a mustache” is guilty because he “helped that man tear us all apart.” That man being Watts.

…why are they all in what amounts to the same cell with barriers dividing them? I suppose we could make the argument that they’re being held in some secret facility, given that they’re in this dark, garage-esque space with no lights and no other prisoners. Some sort of maximum security setup that... doesn’t have any other inmates and no additional security? Hmm. Then again, the power is supposed to be out and I don’t really trust RWBY’s ability to craft consistent backgrounds. I feel like they’re packed together merely because that’s plot convenient, not because it makes any sense in world.

Watts looks pretty comfortable in there though and Jacques is likewise full of confidence. He says that by now Whitley will have already called their lawyers to get him out. Now, non-imprisoned people know that the apocalypse is currently underway, as Joanna will later put it. No one is lawyer-ing at the moment, but it will be crucial to see whether Whitley is trying to get Jacques out despite the chaos. How faithful is he to his abuser? Can Willow start undermining Jacques’ influence now that they’re alone?

Jacque’s confidence thoroughly pisses Robyn off and she screams, punching the barrier between them. Keep this in mind for a second.

A moment later two guards show up to take Watts somewhere and… oh no. Please don’t tell me Ironwood is going to team up with him now that Penny has written him off? I know the guy has (presumably) already killed someone, and he must assume he’s killed Oscar, so we’re definitely in full villain territory despite the stupidity of it… but please don’t start working with Salem’s henchmen too. You know what? I’m not going to assume the worst until I actually see it. RWBY gives me enough nonsense as it is lol.

What I really want to talk about is that hit.

I’m somewhat concerned by a lot of the fandom’s reaction to this moment in comparison to another. Who remembers Volume 6? That scene when Qrow punched Ozpin directly into a tree? Now, I’m not keeping track of who says what when—this is a generalized reaction—but I saw a lot of posts defending that action. There were numerous justifications for the punch, but the three big ones were: 1. These characters are fighters and they’re used to it, 2. These characters have aura so it’s not that bad, and 3. Ozpin totally deserved it. Now, the problems here are that 1a. I don’t think punching someone when they’re crying on their knees is justified, whether they’re a fighter or not, 1b. Qrow was likewise punching Oscar, a totally innocent kid, 2. We had established earlier that Oscar was having trouble remembering to activate his aura and didn’t seem to have it active then (no ripple effect, he’s rubbing his jaw afterwards), and 3. Ozpin’s crimes are, as explored on this blog, not nearly the horrific actions that the story and fandom would like to paint them as. The point is that despite all this, lots and lots of fans said it was totally okay to punch Ozpin&Oscar. What’s the big deal? they asked. Now, lots and lots of fans—mostly when the trailer first dropped—say it’s not okay to punch Watts. Despite the fact that he’s also a fighter. Despite the fact that his aura has broken. Despite the fact that he’s not currently a threat (seated on the bed/Ozpin on his knees). Despite the fact that he’s responsible for helping Salem try to take over the world. If we were to make a case for who deserves to get hit, Watts is a WAY stronger candidate in my opinion, yet he’s the one who a lot of fans are scrambling to defend. Why? I assume it’s because hitting him feeds into the generalized police state/dictator theme Ironwood has been thrown into. It helps villainize Ironwood for fans to go, “Poor Watts. He’s done horrific things but no one deserves to face police brutality.” I agree. The only problem is that a lot of those same fans seem to have gone, “Ozpin can get over it. He deserved to be hit! I would have done a whole lot worse to him…” So is the difference only that one attacker is a military professional and the other is… a huntsmen professional who soon after that scene starts working for the military? Yeah. The show continually ignores that the group aren’t the rogue heroes they pretend to be. They worked under Ironwood for weeks, if not months.

The show isn’t clear about its morals and neither are the fans, with both changing tactics whenever it helps blame the character they already don’t like. When Robyn punches the barrier, do we really think she wouldn’t have hit Jacques if given the chance? Why would it be heroic for her to hit the Evil Man but it’s not okay for the grunt minor character to hit the other Evil Man? These morals don’t change just because you like Robyn and don’t like Ironwood.

Jumping ahead for a moment, we get another example of this hypocrisy with Joanna. A reporter is informing the people that the military seems to have stopped evacuations and there is an unheard number of grimm hanging out overhead, both things that are objective facts. He’s reporting as he should, sticking to what’s known and provable, and thus is, notably, not some lackey of Ironwood’s who is hastily presented as evil. Yet Joanna treats him like he is. She snatches the microphone from him and, when he starts to protest, threatens him with her weapon. After she’s done hijacking the feed, she shoves him on her way out.

Look at how scared this guy is. These are our heroes? This back and forth doesn’t work. Prior to his random killing spree, Ironwood took his fear and frustration out on some furniture, yet the show acted as if he was hurting real people. The mere possibility that he might use violence and intimidation to achieve heroic goals—getting Amity up/escaping Salem—was enough to label him as an antagonist because the understanding was that you can’t act like that no matter what your intentions are. Yet our current heroes can use as much violence and intimidation as they want to achieve their own heroic goal of warning the people? Do we think the story will encourage us to be critical of the group if they start beating up a bunch of Atlas goons to reach the access point? Of course not. And it’s that flip-flopping that’s the problem. Your heroes have to function differently than the villains in order for them to be heroes. Under that logic, our heroes haven’t acted like heroes since mid-Volume 6 and it’s getting harder and harder to watch.

Especially when we take the scene before this into account. Yup, we’ve still got Qrow gunning for Ironwood. Robyn bemoans the fact that they can’t do anything, to which Qrow replies, “We can do something. We can kill the man who put us here.” I… feel like I shouldn’t start repeating myself given how long this recap is—we’ll be here for forever lol—BUT I hope everyone reading this understands precisely how little this makes sense. How god awful a choice it is. I mean c’mon. Robyn attacked Clover unprovoked, Qrow teamed up with Tyrian, he broke Clover’s aura, Tyrian murdered him, Salem is here, and now he’s sitting in a cell with Watts and Jacques… but Ironwood is the guy he wants to kill? REALLY, QROW? THAT’S WHO YOU’RE GOING TO GO AFTER? I really can’t with this show sometimes. RWBY, put your clown makeup on.

We get a cut to Ironwood’s image just so there’s no confusion about who Qrow wants to help kill next and Joanna threatens that reporter who, you know, is also a citizen in need of help and protection… Her “General Ironwood has abandoned you, but we have not” sounds absolutely ridiculous when we just watched her intimidating this guy to get what she wants. ‘You can trust us! Unless we randomly decide we don’t like you.’ I have other things to say about Yang calling out that racist woman later on, but she gets props for helping her regardless. Honestly, I don’t get that sense from the cast very often: that they’d help you even if they don’t agree with you. They certainly didn’t offer that to Ozpin, Ironwood, or the Ace Ops.

There’s a very long shot of a scared toddler staring out the window, just to hammer home how young and innocent Mantle is. Seriously, pay attention to our imagery: Mantle is scared children in homes, cute children fist-bumping Jaune, family photos lost in the street, a stuffed toy run over by hoverbikes. It’s meant to evoke a general sense of domesticity and, again, innocence. Meanwhile, Atlas is only shown via Ironwood and Jacques, the villains. Where are the families living up in the sky? The children? The humanizing details? Our racist woman is an outlier who is quickly silenced by Yang. The rest of Mantle is characterized as victims: scared women, worried fathers, the faunus huddling together in the slums, even another racist who, while an asshole, is supposed to have a point about things like the embargo. Which is all true. These characters are all of these things, it’s just that they’re not unique in this. All this exists above too—from those families, to the faunus slave labor, to the beloved objects that remind you of someone’s worth—but they’re ignored to provide a simplistic look at Atlas as the villain.

Throughout this entire episode the group tosses out snide remarks about how “They” don’t care about you and it’s just… they who? The other thousands of innocents who have nothing to do with Ironwood? The hundreds of Mantle citizens you already evacuated? The redeemable people like Winter and Whitley? The group fights alongside a Schnee who was one of the most vocal racists a year and a half ago, yet writes off the entirety of Atlas as the bad guys. What a mess.

As Joanna’s voiceover finishes, we cut to Yang’s group going after Pietro’s tech. I already covered this scene in our promo material, but to summarize here: horrible tone. Absolutely nonsensical given the situation. Salem is here and Yang is giggling over bikes. In fact, the tone is off for most of the episode (our end being the wonderful exception): Yang’s joy ride, antics with the Mantle citizens, Blake poking fun at Weiss, the tube scene… none of it fits the context of the series’ big bad here to kill everyone. Arguments along the lines of, “But it can’t be doom and gloom all the time” or “This is a brilliant parallel to Volume 3 with happy times heralding tragedy” don’t erase the fact that our cast isn’t taking this threat seriously. Last week Weiss’ “We’re never going to sleep again” moment worked because it’s humor in the context of how bad everything is. All of this? It’s just the group goofing off despite supposedly being in mortal danger. This?

This doesn’t read well. I’d argue this scene is even worse in context due to lines like “The others are definitely missing out.” In our promo material I assumed that the group just split for the sake of splitting and they were, in fact, just missing out on something cool. But we’ve since learned that they split due to a fundamental disagreement about how to help people, a split Ruby compared to Salem’s plans, a split that Yang started! Why is she now acting like their separation is a funny “missing out” moment? It’s like if half your friend group decided to go to the movies while the other half went to a party with an unexpectedly good DJ. The movie-goers are people who are “missing out,” not the group who went off to take over a military base and everyone left angry.

Keep in mind that Ozpin is also back. Every fun times scene with Oscar in it has the added problem of Ozpin hanging back, not saying anything, not acknowledged, still a secret.

The other issue I brought up weeks back was the lack of grimm. Why are the streets deserted? Shouldn’t the army be overrunning the city? Well, turns out that there’s no army because… Salem just hasn’t bothered to send it into the city yet? When Jaune and Ren take out the low-level grimm Oscar asks if they’ve “already pushed this far in,” to which Yang replies, “No, I think those are from last night.” A few minutes later, last night’s grimm change to new non-Salem grimm as Oscar observes, “It’s the negativity. Salem’s forces aren’t moving in, but it’s enough to attract the stragglers.” Later still, Joanna asks, “…grimm are circling out there. What are they waiting for?” GOOD QUESTION. We don’t know, but it’s real convenient, isn’t it? RWBY redeems itself a bit at the end of this episode with that Hound grimm, but I’m still calling it out for having Salem hold off long enough for the group to evacuate pretty much all of Mantle and infiltrate the base. That’s real nice of her. As the characters keep pointing out, it would be a staggeringly different situation if they were overrun with grimm right now, huh? Kind of like the situation Ironwood (rightfully) assumed they’d be dealing with.

Again, I’m so glad our Big Bad is kind enough to let the heroes do everything they need to before lifting a finger to attack them.

RWBY seems to be setting up a, “See! There was always time to evacuate the city!” accusation even though no one could have known that and it makes zero logical sense. Salem brings an army with her so she can not use the army against Atlas? Right…

This all segues directly into our other promo scene. My initial comments still stand: the tone doesn’t work, the lack of urgency doesn’t work (Jaune playing with the kid, Oscar politely knocking on doors), the low-level grimm are not a threat, that shield is useless against anything not driven by plot convenience, and it’s weird for Jaune to be yelling, “Heads up!” when there’s no one in front of him. As said, this moment really doesn’t sit well given everything that’s going on. I had hoped that it would read better when seen in the episode itself, but that’s sadly not the case.

After Ren one-shots the grimm Jaune suggests that they use his amplified semblance to get everyone to the crater safely. Ren seems less than pleased about this, but agrees. Right now, it’s easy to say that he’s in a bad mood because Nora is mad at him, but what about the Volume before? Where’s this underlying tension coming from? I can come up with lots of theories, but at some point the show needs to confirm something. The longer we go not explaining what’s wrong with Ren, the less faith I have that it will make sense when we get it.

We see the racist woman upset that they have to go live with the “animals in the slums” rather than going up to Atlas. As said, I like that Yang helps her despite clearly hating the woman, I also think her criticism holds up well (ignoring the simplified ‘They abandoned you’ narrative). The only thing that bugs me is RWBY continually presenting racism as a problem to throw a band-aid on and then pat yourself on the back for ‘solving.’ Racist drunk says shit? Toss him in the trash! Racist woman says shit? Remind her that her survival depends on you! It’s not that these responses aren’t earned, but that we’re given them instead of an actual arc that tackles the complexities of this issue. I mean, Blake has abandoned the White Fang and we’ve barely mentioned the faunus slave labor in Atlas. When they head to the dust facility it’s conveniently run by bots instead of faunus. Can you imagine if Weiss Schnee walked into a group of exploited minorities, hoping to use them to access a military base? But of course, there’s nothing like that. RWBY ignores the actual issues for these simple solutions. Heroes just attack/threaten racists and then it all goes away. Yay.

The other problem with this scene is that we learn the crater is the slums. Um… what? Hold on, Joanna made it sound like it’s a separate place, potentially inhabited by grimm, yet it’s the same area Oscar was in last episode? How is that area warmer? This makes no sense to me.

Also, ha, the crater below Atlas apparently houses all the “animals” that Team RWBYJNR is very protective of. I’m waiting for them to do something that messes with the Staff—Ruby reaching for it in the opening—Atlas crashes down on a whole city of exploited minorities, and then Ironwood is blamed for it somehow. Can’t wait for that episode.

So the group starts making their way there and hark! An Ozpin! I’m always thrilled to hear him, even if he’s treated just terribly by the show. Oscar is at the back of the group and comments that “It should not be this hard just getting people to cooperate.” Except… they are cooperating? Oscar, you are watching them cooperate right in front of you. That one woman might grumble a bit, but she hasn’t made a move or said a word about not doing what you say. Where did this complaint come from? Another example of RWBY insisting something is there when it simply isn’t. More importantly, Ozpin responds:

“And yet, it’s becoming something I’m increasingly concerned about.”

“You know, I really don’t need your additional comments right now.”

Then why did you comment out loud, Oscar? What, do you normally talk to yourself like that? You were clearly speaking to Ozpin! Don’t criticize him for responding. I hate traps like that.

Ozpin immediately says that Oscar has every right to be upset and apologizes for leaving… it’s not apologizing for his entire existence like I wrote on the bingo board, but it’s close. Who’s surprised that Ozpin is the first to offer (another) apology? Not me. Oscar corrects him with, “I’m upset you came back!”

Okay. Here’s the thing. I like the idea of Oscar rejecting Ozpin both because he’s taken over his life and because Oscar has suffered horribly due to Ozpin’s presence (punched, slammed into walls, kidnapping attempts, etc.) That makes sense, it’s actually morally complex, and it’s great groundwork for character growth. The only problem is… this came out of nowhere. Oscar was shown accepting this new life when he left the farm. Then again when he insisted on fighting Hazel. Then again all the times he’s been told he’s acting like Ozpin and seems to accept that just fine. He’s clearly pleased with this new badass self he’s got going on—he even says as much—yet doesn’t want to acknowledge Ozpin as the catalyst for all this positive change. Okay, that’s something we could still work through, but what about the group? Fans are already theorizing that this is why Oscar is keeping Ozpin a secret, because he’s scared of how the group will react, punishing him to get at Ozpin again, and though he 100% has reasons for thinking that will happen, Oscar hasn’t shown that fear before now. Qrow punches him? Bonding moment with Ruby. Jaune attacks him? I made you all dinner. They all smile over his inevitable death/disappearance? He smiles back. Yang is the most scream-y? Happy to have her using him as an armrest. The group continually ignores him and treats him with suspicion? Not a peep of protest. It’s horrifying that Oscar accepted how the group previously treated him, but he did accept it. Where did this fear come from if we haven’t seen it in response to the harm done towards him? Just as importantly, can’t we have an arc where Oscar is mad at the team some too? I’ll admit that the general premise of blaming Ozpin makes sense for the traumatized fourteen-year old, but after two years of blaming Ozpin for everything… aren’t we sick of this? His team has actively hurt him, outside of Ozpin’s ability to prevent, yet Ozpin is the one who takes all the heat for their behavior. “I felt like I was actually part of the team” should lead to the realization of, “Hey, Yang shouldn’t yell at both of us for things outside of our control” not, “Hey, you should stay away forever because others have decided they don’t like you.”

All of this following Ozpin saving Oscar’s life in the airship. Then saving his life again after Ironwood shot him. Our heroes are real grateful, huh. I hate that RWBY is taking another fave and doing them dirty, though I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised.

Ozpin also mentions his magic—would be nice if Oscar brought that up with the team!—and that he is now “recollecting my longest held memories.” He…is? When? Don’t you think that’s something important to show us? We keep being told that “the merge” is occurring but not shown what that actually means. Seriously, when did Oscar get slammed with that many memories??

Please just use the aura machine and give Ozpin a robot body. RT doesn’t have the chops for writing this situation.

As they continue on towards the crater Ren snaps at Jaune about not needing a “pep talk.” Jaune looks annoyed at the attitude which, fair. It says a lot about the writing the last few years that Jaune is the character I’m least frustrated with lol. Likely because they haven’t had him do anything lately which, given that he’s not one of the title characters and our cast is bloated enough as it is, I’m still totally fine with.

Ozpin concludes the scene with, “We need to find a way to work together. Not just the two of us, all of us” with the camera panning up to look at Atlas. I’m glad someone isn’t ready to throw Ironwood under the bus. Given how the group reacted to him sparing Lionheart’s name though, I don’t think they’ll follow Ozpin in his forgiveness. If anything, I expect this perspective to just be more hate fuel.

We move to Ruby’s group which now includes May. Woohoo! She still hasn’t gotten half the screen time as Joanna, but I’m really glad she’s here. In fact, between a useful semblance and that adorable courtesy, I love her already. Despite, you know, helping the team break into the base and all that. Everyone has their flaws lol.

She also frames the Amity plan as getting the world “talking again.” Why is everything presented like a fun romp rather than avoiding death via Salem? Absolutely terrible tone this episode.

The group hilariously waltzes past a sign labeled AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY and enters the dust facility with the bots I mentioned earlier. This I do like. My hypothetical scenario incorporating the racism issue aside, I like that Weiss is using her knowledge and connections to further the mission, rather than something conveniently dropping into the group’s lap. Like Amity suddenly being ready for launch…So yeah, it makes sense that Weiss would know of a potential way in.

Sending someone up through the tubes though? Ehhh… I know they have aura and everything—and that Zwei was once mailed—but are we sure this is safe?? Doesn’t matter because Nora sends Weiss through with a misplaced button press. Good thing that was the tube heading to the base. Too bad Weiss is heading to a guarded military base alone. It should have been May going first with her semblance activated, but no. Chuck this onto the ever increasing ‘Bad Tone’ pile. There should not be giggles over Weiss being in that level of danger, especially with everything else going on. Ruby’s expression is the only one on point.

Before Weiss is yeeted off though, Penny and Ruby have a talk wherein Ruby lies her ass off. Penny says, “I do not like it when friends fight” and when Ruby starts talking about Yang she corrects her, revealing that she’s actually thinking about Winter and Ironwood. “They were our friends.”

I was ready to sing Penny’s praises and really, she still gets credit for being the only one who has acknowledged this, but her opinion is (once again) overridden by Ruby’s. Penny goes, “but then the Ace Ops attacked you” which Ruby doesn’t bother to correct. How would Penny know otherwise? The only information she has about that battle is what Ruby has told her, but Ruby is lying via omission here. The Ace Ops never attacked her. They very explicitly refused to start a fight. Ruby attacked them. Then when Penny is upset that Ironwood said “people were going to die because of me,” Ruby takes her by the shoulders and angrily insists, “That was a lie and he was only saying it to hurt you.”

Ruby… you’re the one lying. You know damn well Ironwood didn’t just say that to hurt Penny. Oh yeah, the general trying to keep a kingdom alive from an immortal witch is preoccupied with hurting Penny’s feelings for no reason other than being evil. That makes sense. More importantly, Ironwood is right. Look, I’m by no means blaming Penny for anything. She fought off Cinder, took the power when there was no other choice, and has now gotten caught up in Ruby’s plans which include incredibly misleading information that Penny has no reason to question. She’s doing her best and deserves that hug. But that doesn’t mean she lacks responsibility here. Ironwood needs Penny to evacuate. Penny—listening to Ruby—won’t help him. Ergo, if something happens to the people up in Atlas Penny will be partly responsible. If I have the key to a door with lots of people trapped behind it as a fire rages, and I refuse to open that door, I have indeed allowed a lot of people to die. As Penny says, she didn’t want this responsibility… but she has it. She has to deal with it. Too bad she’s with Ruby who encourages her to ignore it instead, insisting that nothing bad that happens after their choices could in any way be connected to them. Kind of like Qrow ignoring his own actions against Clover.

Because that’s the takeaway from this scene. Penny had empathy for their friends and then Ruby talked her out of it. She never even acknowledges that those were indeed seven friends that she betrayed. That’s horrible.

What happened to Ruby? I used to love this girl.

Continuing our tone issue, Nora is watching this show like her favorite soap is on. Okay then.

Weiss goes up the tube and then we cut to Fiona saying that… the Mantle police are helping them evacuate? So the military is bad, but the police are good? I need to stop trying to make sense of RWBY’s allegory.

When Yang and the others return Fiona makes an innocent comment about being worried about how they’d fare without the rest of their team. Yang is pissed.

Ah, so we’re back to her giving allies attitude for random observations. Remember the anger at Marrow for suggesting she and Blake try different team-ups? Now here Yang is, in a different team-up, doing quite well. Funny how we never acknowledge who first suggested that. Now, Fiona reveals a totally logical worry that losing four fighters might make a difference when fending off grimm, but Yang is poised to be angry at everyone, about everything, all the time. Which I get is something that a lot of fans like. I’ve already seen a couple of posts praising RT for letting Robyn and Yang be angry without consequences because women often can’t do that and, fair. That is indeed one way to read it. My problem is that their anger is actually irrational, not just called as much because we women are ~emotional~. Their anger isn’t justified: Robyn because she had a significant hand in all this nonsense (that she’s ignoring) and Yang because it’s clear Fiona means no harm here. This is anger that needs to be called out, not ignored because yay women expressing emotion. That kind of defense is reserved for a woman’s justified anger that needs to be expressed without criticism, especially in a narrative that tries to undermine her perspective. But what has Fiona done to Yang? Nothing. More importantly, the show has yet to teach Yang a better coping mechanism than lashing out at people, be it with her fists, words, or angry glares. Yang has been through the ringer and it makes sense that she’s angry, but that doesn’t mean she gets a lifelong pass to treat those around her badly.

Anyway, Joanna says they have a lot of people to keep warm even though the crater was supposed to be warmer? And they’re stealing dust? So what are they using it for it not heat? We’re not seeing any difference here and frankly all the civilians should be dead by now. Or at least entering hypothermia. (Give me that conflict: how do you keep people safe when they’re not all conveniently up for walking all the way to the slums?) Joanna also says that they’re trying to get the “Old mine shafts into a livable condition” which would take how long exactly? In fact, I’d say our timeline is already wonky. We’ve watched Yang hide the Ace Ops last Volume, fly to Winter and Penny, find the Happy Huntresses, wait around for Oscar to show up, ran off on her own at some point to scout, went to get bikes, evacuated all those people to the (far away) slums, then went back out to fight off the grimm. That had to have taken up a good chunk of the night, though it’s impossible to tell the time with Atlas’ snowy sky. I’m leaning towards a bingo mark though…

The faunus who I thought was a badger or something is… a bear I guess? He has a bear-like paw, but his nails seem too long… I honestly don’t know. But he’s Fiona’s uncle! Cute. She's off to deal with a fight that’s starting while the group goes to fight more grimm. Finally, the episode gets good.

The teamwork to take out the dragon grimm was nice, always glad to see it, but the real fight starts when two more grunts show up and then immediately run away. What could have scared them off?

The Hound. (I’m sorry, all I can think of is Game of Thrones when I write that, but it seems to be the name the fandom is adopting, so…) Remember how I said it was unlikely to be a threat on its own? I WAS WRONG. Holy shit this thing is terrifying. It snatches Oscar and in some wonderfully quick animation absolutely obliterates the kid. Oscar is thrown around like a chew toy, desperately trying to rabbit kick at this thing and it does [checks notes] absolutely nothing. I’d normally say something about our farm boy always getting the shit kicked out of him, but this scene was too good for my salt.

Then it changes shape, growing arms, and starts using Oscar as a shield. Yang can’t pull back in time and is snagged by her head, the Hound tossing her into the wall hard enough to break the stone. She’s still conscious though and warns the others about its strategy.

“But grimm aren’t that smart,” Jaune says. Maybe if you kids (Fiona keeps calling them kids) had stayed in school you would have learned that grimm get smarter with age! Oobleck knew that. Or, just as likely, this is a special Salem grimm. Hard to say at this point.

The point though is that the group is helpless in the face of this monster. I do want to emphasize this. I’ve seen a few people criticizing them for not doing enough to save Oscar and it’s like, what did you want them to do? Yang tried to attack and the grimm nearly had her hitting Oscar instead. Ren tried to attack and the grimm changed so fast his weapon was useless. Factor in that morphing—which the group has never seen before—the horror of Oscar hanging there limp, and the general fighter response of, ‘I can’t just keep attacking head on because that thing might kill me,’ and you realize the group was screwed from the start. They can’t stand up against this thing, not without a good strategy anyway, which there’s no time to think up. For the first time in years, ever since Tyrian, Salem actually made the right, villainous call.

Ren screams, “Give him back!”—which was just lovely in an angsty way—and the grimm creepily cuddles Oscar against his chest. Then he responds, “No.” Yeah, they’ve never seen that before either. Can you blame them for their shock? I’m impressed that they were on their bikes just seconds later, managing to keep the grimm in sight. That speaks to their combat experience. Not the ability to power through a situation where they’re clearly outmatched, but their ability to pick themselves back up and try again.

... Ah, so that’s why Pietro was oh so randomly making them bikes. The plot needed a way for them to keep up with a flying grimm. Got it.

My takeaway? RT should be writing horror. They’re far better at it. The animation, sound effects, voice acting, the grimm’s speech and protective instincts, that splatter of goo on Oscar’s cheek…

... stellar all around. Like the Apathy, this is the best I think RWBY has been since the lore episode of Volume 6. Granted, action sequences like this aren’t required to grapple with any of the messy morals and character consistency of other scenes, but still. If RWBY had just given me a lighthearted ‘Girls fight cartoon monsters’ show or a horror fueled ‘Girls fight monster abominations’ show, I’d have been happy. This? This is the only redeeming part of the episode. And it’s indeed one hell of a redemption. Look at this thing!

I’m not going to say it erases all the bad we got—it doesn’t—or that it likewise erases problems like Salem not using the rest of her army, but it’s a notable step in the right direction. This grimm is a threat. This grimm is a mountain the cast has to overcome. If this is the minion its master should be Everest. I still think this Volume is going down the tubes fast (it’s going the way of Weiss lol), but if it can give me more scenes like this? It might not be a total loss.

Last thing to acknowledge: What about Ozpin? I’ll admit it doesn’t look good. Given how fast he takes control he should have been able to override Oscar’s will and at least fight back a little with that spectacular magic we saw during the finale. So why didn’t he? I hope we get an in-world explanation: it happened so fast even Ozpin couldn’t do anything (shaky, but I’ll take it in a pinch), now that the merge is farther along he can no longer take control—something. Because I can easily imagine how quickly the fandom, and even the cast, will turn on him for not playing deus ex machina here. In reality, I think Ozpin didn’t take control simply because the plot needed him not to. The writers needed Oscar kidnapped so any potential out from that is conveniently forgotten… which is another knock against their writing, despite how great the scene otherwise was. The point is to take all these potential pushbacks and find a satisfying way to circumvent them, not pretend they don’t exist. RT can still save themselves here by providing that explanation later, so I hope they’re smart enough to do that. Ozpin has been blamed for everything at this point. His own kidnapping doesn’t need to be added to the list.

Also, still no word on Schrödinger's councilman. We’ve got to wait another week to see whether he’s dead or not.

Finally, let’s update the bingo card!

I’m crossing off “Ruby gives an ‘inspiring’ speech built on ignoring facts she doesn’t like” for that conversation with Penny. Yeah, it’s a speech to her alone about her worth, but Ruby mischaracterized the situation so badly I’m mad at her lol

I never thought the story would straight up just not have the grimm army attacking, so I think I’ll hold off on “Army of grimm conveniently doesn’t kill any civilians” until we see if/when it gets involved.

I’ll likewise hold off on the timeline slot until we see how bad things get…

Maria is on thin ice given that we have no idea what she’s supposedly doing while the group is off on their missions. Stay tuned.

Today we’re crossing off “Deadly cold conveniently doesn’t kill any civilians.” They should all be dropping like flies by now.

A friend pointed out that Cinder’s Cinderella flashback counts as an “Overly obvious fairy tale allusion.” In fact, I talked about how much of a shorthand that is, so that’s getting a mark.

From last week I’ve also decided to include Amity for “Retconning previous lore.” Now that the group is fully underway with their plan it reads as even more egregious that we were told it wasn’t ready.

I’ll hold off on Ozpin’s space for a while. See if he apologizes to the whole group and, if so, exactly what for.

“Oscar is finally kidnapped”—check!

Well, that’s a whole lot of headway this week. Can’t wait to see where the next episode takes us... Here’s hoping we spend a lot of time with that Hound. MVP of the episode.

Until next time! 💜

[Ko-Fi]

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwby volume 8 #mymetas #rwby recaps

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vixenpen · 3 years

Text

Caged Hearts

((Hawks x Miku ((oc))

Chap 29. Friends For Now

Keigo swiped a hand over his tired face, and tried to rearrange his features into a smile. It didn’t feel right so he dropped it, and took a deep breath before letting himself into Miku’s hospital room.

Sunlight spilled through the open blinds, bathing the room in light.

Keigo felt as his heart had stopped when he spotted Miku. Then he saw the dark skinned woman with gleaming black wings holding her hand, and it plummeted into his stomach.

Because that woman, was undoubtedly...

“Kei!” Miku exclaimed, eyes widening at the sight of him. A bright beam lit up her face.

“Ang-“ his eyes flitted to the dark skinned woman next to her, and he changed his tune. “Miku...”

“I’m so glad you’re here!” Miku exclaimed, although her voice was a bit weak, lacking its usual exuberance. She waved him to her bed side. “Keigo this is my mother Angela Tsuichi, mommy this is Keigo.”

Miku’s mother, shot him a tired, but friendly smile.

“Of course. The hero that my baby’s been going on and on about for months.”

“Ma,” Miku frowned.

“And of course the man that saved her,” she took Keigo’s hand in hers. It was soft and cool, but the touch was firm. What he imagined a mother’s touch should be.

“Thank you, Keigo.”

For what?

He wanted to ask.

If it wasn’t for me, your daughter would have been safe. Of course I had to rescue her. I love her and I almost got her—

“Of course.” Keigo nodded with a small, tight smile back at the woman.

“Well, I’ll give you two some space.” Ms. Tsuichi leaned over to kiss Miku’s forehead before leaving the couple alone together.

Keigo stared down at Miku’s tired little figure huddled under the starched hospital blankets for a long while, frowning.

The long silence between them made Keigo’s thoughts seem even louder. His golden eyes fell to her singed white feathers and he felt his stomach knot.

“Kei?” Miku hummed.

He looked at her.

“You know you can sit down, right?” She scoffed.

Keigo sank into the chair at her bedside, shoulders and wings drooping with his weight.

“How do you feel, Angel?”

“Like shit, but I’ve felt worse.” She chuckled.

Keigo’s frown deepened.

“Angel, I—“ he swallowed the lump in his throat, and continued. “I’m sorry.”

Miku’s brows wrinkled. “For what?”

“Everything!” He choked out. “If it weren’t for me, Dabi never would have targeted you. You would have never been kidnapped. I should have never-never..”

Never what? Met her? Pursued her? Dated her? Fallen for her?

Been selfish enough to to want all of those things?

Have you ever chosen yourself?

“I should have never gotten you mixed up in my shit.”

“Keigo, you didn’t get me mixed up in your shit.”

“I didn’t tell you the whole truth about Dabi. I dated you Knowing that he could be out there.”

“So you were supposed to put your life on hold waiting for Dabi to strike?”

“I should have been more careful.”

“You can’t control everything, Keigo,” Miku’s head collapsed against the pillows as she stared at him. “Even if we hadn’t dated, Dabi would have went after someone else you cared about.”

“Anyone else would have been able to protect themselves, but you—“

“Are a grown woman who made my own decisions.” She shot back, in a firm tone.

Keigo pressed his lips shut.

“Keigo,” Miku sighed, “I’m alive and safe because of you.”

“You were kidnapped because of me.” He shot back.

“No. I was kidnapped because of Dabi.”

Because he was trying to hurt me by hurting you...

Keigo said nothing. Miku must have sensed his unease, because she reached a hand towards him, wiggling her fingers with a smile.

Despite himself, the man managed a smile back and slipped his hand in hers. It was soft and warm. He was so grateful for the warmth. He squeezed it gently.

“I’m glad you’re here.”

Keigo’s fingers twitched in Miku’s hand. His mind stumbled over every thought swimming around his brain. It didn’t help that the warm, soft weight of Miku’s hand was nestled in his. Distracting him from what he needed to say.

He loosened his grip some. It didn’t make it any easier, but it did make it less distracting.

“I—don’t...I don’t think we should date anymore.” He finally managed.

“I don’t either.”

Keigo swallowed what he was almost confident was his heart attempting to climb out of his throat.

“I don’t need a boyfriend right now,” Miku continued. Then she gripped his hand with renewed strength. “But I could really use a friend.” She smiled. It was tiny and hopeful.

Keigo returned it easily.

“I can be that.” He replied.

“Sooo,” she bit her lip. “Friends?” She asked.

A sad, but amused little huff escaped him. He leaned forward until his lips found hers. In that moment, Keigo’s mind felt clear for the first time in weeks.

When he pulled back, he swept his other hand along her cheek and held her gaze.

“Friends for now.” He corrected.

“Friends for now.” Miku repeated.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Now, you have a lot of fans who want to make sure that you’re taking care of yourself since the incident. Do you have any plans to continue with your music at all?”

The interviewer asked. Miku appreciated the woman’s gentle voice and her tactful handling of the questions.

Following her kidnapping and her release from the hospital, Miku was determined not to let what happened to her shape her narrative. But just because she could put on a brave face did not mean she was ready to go into details about the incident.

She smiled, tilted her head to show off her best angle and replied: “I don’t want my fans to worry. Myself and my team have decided that it’s in my best interest to...step away from the idea of touring for right now and focus on other projects. I have something planned that I think they’re going to like.” She gave a little wink.

“Oh! That sounds promising. Can we have a hint on what it is?”

“Well—“

The chiming of the doorbell disrupted the interviewer, and Miku’s heart revved as her head snapped towards the door along with the interviewers.

Miku cleared her throat.

“I-I wasn’t expecting anybody.” She explained.

The interviewer frowned.

“Excuse me.”

Miku tried not to let her unease show as she headed for the front door. When she opened it, a leopard spotted man in a delivery suit greeted her with a smile.

“Got a bouquet for a Ms. Shirogane.”

“Oh-!”

As soon as her eyes fell on the vase of dandelions protected in their little plastic globe to keep the seeds from blowing away, she knew exactly who they were from.

Miku giggled, and accepted the bouquet from the man.

“Enjoy your flowers!” He announced before heading off.

The woman shut the door behind him and checked the note attached.

For my uniquely packaged flower. With all my love.

Sincerely,

Your friend for now.

(I cannot tell you guys how grateful I am that I got all through the story and that y’all supported me through it. It was hard for me to write I’m sure that shows I’m sure there’s like a shit ton of inconsistencies that I’m going to have to go back and fix. But the fact that I actually finished some thing with the way my ADHD and my anxiety is set up, i’m just so proud to have completed some thing. I’m not fully happy with it, And I’m definitely going to go through and re-write it but for the time being I’m just glad that I finished Miku and Keigo’s story and that I can move on with a clear mind. This won’t be the last that you see these two bird brains because I adore them and I want to do more for them but this is it for now)

#i finished it #i finished something #my hero academia #bnha imagines #bnha #bnha scenarios #my hero fanfic #bnha headcanons #mha headcanons #hawks x oc #break ups #heart break #sad ending #hipeful beginnings #Hawks x Miku #caged hearts #Spotify

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danieyells · 3 years

Note

Yo Danie, I wonder if you've got any ideas on this; in TAS, transients either get summoned to Tokyo because the app reaches out and makes pacts on people's behalfs with willing familiars, or they get summoned by having, like, a wish of some kind and they end up stumbling through a portal to Tokyo to see that wish fulfilled, right? And then they either get unsummoned, or stick around for whatever reason?

Here's the thing; when they get unsummoned, do they go home? The Red Oni in chapter 1 seems pretty convinced that he's going to die unless you make a Summoning pact with him, but Salomon says later that Shiro's familiar whose connection you cut will just end up going home. Further to that, Macan says about Oniwaka when he's vanishing into light that he's going back to his home world, and then when his strength recovers he'll pop right back in.

The thing is though, that there's a remark early on that Stray Transients, who are Transients without a Summoning bond by the game's definition if I'm remembering right, can only maintain themselves for a while by sustaining themselves on the land's energy. Even further, the actual Housamo wiki says that they'll be unsummoned from the game if they don't find a way to sustain themselves, usually by getting into a pact. Guilds I believe are also noted to be one way around this. Does that mean that if you just wait outside of a Pact, you'll go home? Or would you pop back in again after a bit, essentially trapped in Tokyo?

ALSO ALSO, Bathym says that, though this only applies to "his hella demonic self", demons need tons of emotional energy directed at them to survive, and a pact is the most efficient way to get energy.

But we don't see Sitri in a Guild or a Pact (unless you Pact him, but I'm pretty sure that's non-canon), and Sitri also has a family. They're all demons one would presume, so why does he not seem to need anything like Bathym does? We can derive from this that Bathym was either speaking about himself, and only himself, lying to try and get the Protagonist to make a pact with him, or that Sitri has a Pact he isn't chatting to anybody about, right?

HOWEVER. In chapter 4, we see that the Aoyama guild provides supplies for the enormous number of Stray Transients who have nothing and no prospects, but that those strays are unlikely to be guild members. Further to that, she mentions that the ninjas and many other strays are like, literally treated as the dregs of society. So, how come they're still around? Surely the Stray Transient population should be either dwindling all the time, or in constant flux? But I'm pretty sure there's a notable overpopulation issue in canon because of the sheer number of Transients! Not to mention, if they're treated like dirt and killed and traded, you'd think they'd just...WANT to leave, right? So they could just wait until their connection ran out.

AND ALSO, it's noted in the backstory that Transients started pouring through the gates one day in history, and that this generation has never lived in a Tokyo without walls, but the previous generation therefore presumably did; that means like, it's been at least 2 decades, possibly 3. How long could those Transients have stuck around without a pact going by the lore?

Lastly, the Protagonist has the power to rend Transients connections to Tokyo, canonically. How then, do those Transients come back if they've had their connection severed? And shouldn't the Protagonist offer to go to the slums and ask if anybody would like to go back to their homeworld if that were the case? Or will everyone literally just rebound to Tokyo completely?

Further to that, when people fulfil their wish, do they go home? When they've played their Role out completely, is that the end of their tenure in Tokyo?

Basically, I think the whole system is a little underexplained and I've seen you post thoughts here on stuff, so I was wondering as to what you'd make of it all! Am I missing something?

. . .holy shit anon this is an essay innit lol not that i'm complaining, I just was not expecting it when I saw the notification after I woke up. For the record I saw this at. . .7am or so. It is now 11:55 when I'm finishing it. HYPERFOCUS GO BRRRRRRRRR. OKAY LET'S SEE IF I'VE GOT SOME THOUGHTS FOR YOU.

DISCLAIMER: I'VE BEEN PLAYING THIS GAME FOR LITTLE OVER A MONTH AND I FEEL LIKE I HAVE FAR FROM ALL OF THE DETAILS. I haven't read three of the translated past events yet and I haven't read most of the untranslated content(including Chapter 11 although I'm super tempted you don't even know.) These are just my understandings of things, I suppose.

ALSO IDK HOW FAR YOU ARE IN THE STORY. . .I mean you mention them being sold so you're probably up to Chapter 10 at least since that's where we learn about Daikoku selling transients because it gets him off I guess, although they also could have mentioned it some other time and I just forgot lol BUT. YEAH PROBABLY GONNA MENTION SPOILERS.

TL;DR:

Red Oni: summoned to Tokyo without a pact. When rended from the land would disappear, possibly die. Likely this is because of whatever conditions are happening where they came from or having had already been dead when summoned. Possibly also just a false belief because they didn't know well what was going on to begin with. Possibly also just part of the game plan originally but retconned by the devs then never rewritten.

D-Evils: Shiro's Rule is Ressurection which causes an exception when clashing with Rending. The world of the Old Ones is gone, the D-Evils are familiars created by/living in Shiro's book. Entities, abilities, and artifacts from Old Ones are able to be used outside of the app/battle zones, so D-Evils can exist if Shiro just summons them. D-Evils don't go away when rended because they're part of Old Ones and Old Ones is gone--if they go away they return to Shiro's artifact where they came from. They also donct go away because rending them causes an Exception.

Oniwaka; Zabaniyya; Ophion: rended from EXCEPTIONS not from the world. Were likely sent back in order to resolve the exception after being rended and to recover the energy that sustained their physical forms in the first place, not because they had no means of being sustained in Tokyo. Returned due to pacts with MC, positions in Guild, unfulfilled pact, etc once their energy to maintain physical form returned.

Stray Transients: likely have outstanding pacts and thus do not disappear over time. However, some don't and those proper strays will likely return home after an amount of time, but we don't know how long. Alp has been in Tokyo for a few months but isn't disappearing despite arriving because he wanted to be loved/popular. So unattached transients stay around longer than a few months. They may also be attached to the school they were initially meant to go to to be monitored, or someone who works there. They may not want to go home due to poor conditions, being dead, lacking a home or people to return to, etc. Remember, even in real life people immigrate to places that treat them poorly--but that's because even that and the potential in those places is likely better to them than whatever they're running away from. If the transient arrived in distress it's because they wanted to be away from wherever they started out or because they desperately needed something. This new opportunity may be what they need--to find someone they lost, to find an answer, to simply start life over fresh. Even if they're being abused, looked down on, they may simply be happy to be alive. If they want to go home, they hopefully just have to wait--but you have to live if you wanna get home, don't you? Best to survive as well as you can.

Stray Transient Population: constantly increasing to sustain/grow the Game for the World Representatives. The overpopulation is deliberate. They do not care about the wellbeing of these people, they only want to create a stadium to fight in, and for that they need more transients and app users than humans not using the app in Tokyo.

Sitri: Aside from forming a pact with him, Sitri's Sacred Artifact is his wings/are his feathers, which cause people to fall in love with someone who touched them after the feathers that had been touched are attached to a second party. Sitri feeds off of the love directed to him. This is troublesome for him more often than not, but I'm pretty sure that's how he gets the emotions he needs to eat if not via pact.

Being around from the start?: The gates appeared in 1999--it's been at least 20 years, assuming the game takes place anywhere near the present year. Off the top of my head we don't know if any stray transients have stuck around for extended periods. How long someone's been in Tokyo rarely comes up. We know Yule has been in Tokyo for a few years because he went to middle(elementary? Idr) school with Ryota. Sitri is similar with Kengo. As such, given Sitri and Yule aren't in guilds as far as we're aware, assuming being attached to a school doesn't make one connected to Tokyo, we can assume they're stray transients. This means that they'd been here for years, as strays. Given we know stray transients disappear eventually, it's safe to assume that there have been stray transients who disappeared and went home. Assuming it isn't different per individual, stray transients can stay in Tokyo for several months to several years, but to my awareness there's no set number.

Going Home: in order to go home a transient who's been summoned must fulfil their summoner/pacted humancs desire. Surtr, Azathoth, and Babalon all disappear after fulfilling Arc's desire for them to be their family, leaving behind their sacred artifacts which contain their memories until they disappeared. So, yes, fulfilling the desire entrusted to a transient/playing out their role will cause them to fulfil the conditions of their pact, causing them to disappear. However, we don't know what happens when they do. Thus far, those three haven't come back despite the reset occurring. Arc was able to summon their artifacts but otherwise could not reach them. Their artifacts were taken by Breke who was able to channel the memories within and allow Arc to communicate with Azathoth's memories.

SLIGHTLY MORE FULL VERSION WITH A COUPLE SCREENSHOTS

(read the tl;dr anyway because I probably remembered things while Inwas writing it that I didn't remember to put in the 'full' version lol I WROTE MOST OF THE LONG ONE, WROTE OUT THE TL;DR, THEN FINISHED THE LONG ONE SO. PROBABLY WANNA READ BOTH.)

Transients arrive in Tokyo either by being summoned, by being summoned ACCIDENTALLY(someone wishes to have friends/meet someone new, etc), by being pulled in by the Rainbow Of Transient Light randomly(?) sucking them up when they're in distress/have a wish to fulfil, or some combination of those.

In Macan's character quest, MC and Macan learn that the one who technically summoned Macan was MC. The same thing happens in I think Xolotl's. They end up going to the collided past--or a collided memory?--and when past!Macan is in distress over being alone, MC approaches him and says they're there for him, however past!Macan can only hear them, not see them. He calms down and asks if they're searching for him and says he's going to find them--which causes him to disappear and be summoned to Tokyo in search of this person who wanted to be by his side. Macan realizes that's exactly what happened to him--he heard a voice saying that they were with him and, in his desire to no longer be alone, the transient light came along and took him.

(it's written as 'Magan' in Japanese hence why it's written that way here--this was likely translated before his English name was given.) (Such a request, perhaps, means that he's with MC until he's dismissed by them specifically.)

Xolotl was running from being sacrificed to Tezcatlipoca and MC and future!Xolotl protected him. Seeing himself be weak and seeing himself be strong enough to try and protect MC and seeing MC who refused to leave him and hearing what they had to say, he desired the strength to live with the people he loves and for there to not be sacrifices again. He may not have gone to Tokyo if he hadn't realized that desire through meeting himself and MC. In fact, he may not have survived at all(though maybe Quetzalcoatl would've protected him if not collided MC and present!Xolotl.)

SO. If you recall correctly, MC is implied to be a transient as well. There's also the possibility that they're not, and simply are some poor sob the Game shoved 23+ memories in at once, broke the memories of the host in the proccess, and thus we have MC coming to in a park confused about everything but their own name(of course if that were the case surely someone in Tokyo would recognize them beyond their being the trophy/exile from their home world, so it's not likely.) Lil Salomon says that as a summoned transient they can only go home if they find and fulfil the wishes of their summoner. However they neither know who or where their summoner is.

Transients can appear simply due to someone's desire for companionship. But they don't necessarily appear atop that person, hence not knowing their summoner. They just hear a voice, may not even hear exactly what's being said or asked for, and the light picks them up and drops them off with no further info or ceremony. So if someone is pulled into Tokyo this way they have a summoner even if they don't know it--even if the summoner themself doesn't know. So they won't just disappear over time unless that person unwills what willed them there or they die or something. Plus we don't know how long stray transients stick around if they have no pact/summoner--we just know that they disappear eventually. It's more than a few months, because Alp showed up a few months ago and hasn't disappeared yet.

Several characters are attached to guilds which may keep them from being Strays. However some, to our awareness, have neither summoner/master nor guild. At most they may be attached to schools. Sitri, as you mentioned, is one of them, as is Yule--whom Shiro refers to as a stray transient he sees every year without being corrected(although the situation wasn't exactly a good time to clarify that lol.)

Both of them have been in Tokyo for years without disappearing--and the app is a kind of but not super recent creation, so guilds likely didn't sustain them this whole time. Neither have disappeared. Of course someone may have summoned them or they may be part of guilds without it being stated or perhaps being in a school has the same effect as being in a guild. But we don't know that for sure, either.

(Japanese middle school is from 12-15 years old. Kengo's a second year High School student now, so 16-17 years old. Sitri was a first year while Kengo was a third year, so there's two grades between them. Sitri's been in Tokyo at least 2 years. I believe he mentions seeing Lucifuge in a magazine in Ghenna so he hasn't been here his whole life either. So a few years, but not 15.)

Transients that disappear don't have pacts but transients that come back probably do/have formed pacts/attachments to the world. Remember, Oniwaka, Zabaniyya, and Ophion say to call on them if you need them. They're attached to the player now, perhaps having formed a pact incidentally, assuming the situation that brought them there in the first place isn't still in effect(or they're not still bound by, say, their guild.)

Also, much like in real life, sometimes whatever is home is worse than the horrific things you deal with wherever you immigrate to. Or perhaps you've formed attachments somewhere you've arrived and are willing to endure suffering for them. It's rarely as simple as "we're suffering, we wanna go back to where we came from." Especially since transients likely arrived due to distress or wanting to be anywhere else but home. Some of their worlds don't exist anymore(Old Ones) or are collapsing(Yggdrasil; El Dorado.) Some people have no one and nothing back home and this is a new start for them, even if the start is bad. Also they could be waiting until they go home automatically, but what're you gonna do while you wait? Probably live your life as best you can. If you're gojna be stuck somewherefor a few months you may as well make yourself at home.

So why doesn't MC go around rending people themself?

Well, for starters, they're made to be a high school student most of the day. Where would they find the time lol. Second they're a bit busy trying to save the world and all. . .and if some teenager wandered up to you and said they could get you home if you had an app battle with them, would you really believe that when you've been told your best bet is to either find your summoner or wait out your incidental connection to the world? Sounds like a kid trying to stir up trouble, and not all transients have the app anyway. I mean really would you expect the local homeless population to have smartphones? Probably not.

Furthermore. Spoiler alert

This system of the game, the gates, the transients, it's no accident. It's intentional. Tokyo is the setting for this inter-world competition to prove which world is strongest or something to that effect--and the winner gets MC, the host of the exiles and perhaps some kind of powerful system. Of course what they do with MC is up to them. The Warmongers want to keep the game going so they can fight the powerful MV over and over again forever. We don't know what the Invaders want yet afaik but based on the name I'd assume they want to use MC as a super soldier to conquer other worlds. And the Rule Makers want to use MC to support one of their own worlds as its System. /smacks MC on the back) this baby can hold SO MANY rules and roles! Hold up a whole damn world apparently!!

So think of it this way. . .they could go around rending everyone until the transient light returns them home or to the deaths they desire. . .but would the World Representatives really allow that? They'd just keep bringing in transients. They need to fill Tokyo with them--until transients and app users outnumber the humans naturally belonging to Tokyo--so they can have their little contest.

MC alone would never be able to pull off sending everyone home as long as the Game is running. The worlds would not allow their contest to be ruined.

As for who goes where and does what when unsummoned. The Red Oni hadn't been there long. And perhaps wasn't summoned in the first place, nor had anyone likely explained much to them for that arrival. Also if you felt yourself disappearing, felt your connection to this world just torn off and uprooted and fading away, even if you knew better you'd probably think you're dying. That'd be scary. You'd want to avoid it.

Of course it's also possible the oni was dead or dying to begin with and their connection being severed would send them back to death--like Shino, who'd died long ago in the Land of Wa and when he died in Tokyo he went back to being dead.

The D-Evils don't have anywhere to go back to besides Shiro's book. The world of the Old Ones is gone. As such "home" for them is back with Shiro--and remember, their rules clash anyway. Rending and Ressurection don't mix. MC couldn't rend the D-Evils from Shiro properly because it causes an Exception. At best rending them will send them back to the book until Shiro summons them again. Plus, entities from Old Ones can use their powers without the use of the app--including those with Old Ones artifacts. Shiro can summon the D-Evils at any time, even outside of an app battle--so to send them 'home' doesn't really send them anywhere but back to Shiro since they both have no home to return to and were summoned to exist in Tokyo.

Demons needing to recieve emotions seems to be more of a feeding thing than a transient connection one afair. Like Alp eating dreams--he'll die if he doesn't. It's like "I need to external feelings or I'll starve" not "I need external feelings or I go back to Ghenna." Sitri likely survived thanks to his feathers--his sacred artifact which cause people they attach to to fall in love with whoever touched them previously--causing a constant stream of love towards him as he needs it. As such he doesn't need to have a pact to live, he only needs to make people fall for him to absorb that feeling and then take his feathers back to stop eating.

The canon-ness of MC making pacts with everyone is perhaps debateable. However events, character quests, special quests, etc have characters refer to Mc as Master or Summoner. And the story can sometimes reference events and such(see: meeting characters in events before they're part of the main story, meeting them in the main story, and being able to go "didn't I meet you in [season/holiday]?" And they go "yeah, we did! It's nice to see you again!" So technically events and the like are as canon as you make them. Also having a pact doesn't mean that person can't be your enemy or can't hurt you or is fully at your command, which means that it doesn't necessarily not make sense that characters can be in pacts with/summoned by the player while still being against them. MC likely has the ability to form pacts easily/unconsciously.

This is likely(and this part is speculation!) because of MC's role as the Wanderer--as the host of the Exiles of the many worlds, they're a system in and of themself(or they'e able to be one.) As such attachments to them are like individuals having 'faith' in them, the way Systems sustain worlds. Especially those who had some relationship with or attachment to an Exile they host. This may also cause a pseudo pact with people they meet and get attached to(and are attached to them in turn, not necessarily in a positive way)--like people believing in a faith. The attachment to them, love for them, hate of them, fear of them, is a sort of belief that causes them to be able to stay in Tokyo longer because they are now unwittingly part of MC's system. After all MC is a transient and transients, as far as I recall/understand, don't summon other transients to Tokyo, they only summon artifacts because bringing a whole person and their memories requires a strong means to bind them. Transients' connections are already dependent on someone/something else--which is already taxing as a pregnancy--and that'd be hard for them unless they were born into Tokyo.

In cases like Oniwaka and Zabaniyya and Ophion, they likely needed to disappear temporarily in order to resolve the Exception on top of regaining energy to sustain physical forms in another world. Think of it like closing a program on your computer. If the program clashed with another and an exception occurs you close the one of lesser importance. You can then maybe open it again once things have cooled down with your proccesser and it can handle them at the same time--thus, they come back to Tokyo even after being dismissed by fixing the exception.

So they pop back in because they're still bound to Tokyo. MC only rended them from the exception, not from the world itself. But transients who truly have no connection will go back and stay until summoned again. . . .

(Now that I think about it when someone fulfils the reason they were summoned to Tokyo they disappear and seem to disappear for good. We don't know if they die or what. They've been eliminated from the game. This happens with Surtr, Babalon, and Azathoth. After they successfully, properly became like Arc's family and that desire was considered fulfilled the pact was complete and they disappeared, leaving behind their artifacts.

Red Oni may have been summoned to be a tutorial for the player. But also a tutorial for the player character. Red Oni thus would go away completely after fulfilling that desire of whoever summoned them, thus giving them their fear they'd die because they'd served their purpose.

I just happened to remember/consider that lol ANYWAY.)

Basically it's a bit underexplained I agree.

But that's because you, as the player, as the MC, aren't supposed to know everything that's going on. You're supposed to learn as you go while also being denied information by the Powers That Be. You don't have your memories, you don't know what's going on here until you see/experience/hear about it. It's part of the immersive understanding/storytelling proccess. The characters don't tell you how things work because they only barely understand it themselves--and then when they learn 'this isn't just a game, this isn't just coincidence, there's something greater happening here' everything they know gets thrown into question. The people who do understand it aren't going to tell you much because they don't want you to ruin their game. You're just the final boss and the trophy to be won--and possibly the system upon which the game resides, resetting every time you die so you can struggle to be won someday.

You "can't win."

So you don't need to know how it works.

That doesn't stop you or anyone else from trying to find out, though, nor does it stop you from trying to change it.

. . .I hope that helped a bit! 8'D I don't think you missed much, really. You're right in that it's underexplained but That's Storytelling, Baby!

#danie yells answers #danie yells at tokyo afterschool summoners #danie yells with anons #long post #tokyo afterschool summoners #as someone who learned that they like telling reader-focused stories #the storytelling method of 'show don't tell' tyat's being used here #where you don't know anything abd you only learn as it happens to you #i enjoy it a lot is what i wanna say lol it's like #we can all speculate together because it's less 'you haven't read all the meta!' and more 'we don't know yet #ofc i'm not the expert and icm not as informed as people whocve been here longer so #if i'm wrong anywhere or leaving things out or other people have input i'm super open to hearing it and i'm sure anon is too!

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johannesviii · 3 years

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Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2020

You know, when I finished my latest list and realised every decade had the same pattern and that we were slowly going towards a series of great years for pop, I didn’t realise how good that year would be.

What’s at the top? Am I boringly predictable because I already said I loved that song all the way back in January 2020? Let’s find out.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will probably be stuff in French somewhere on this post. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

So. Uh. How was your 2020?

Mine was actually surprisingly good, considering. I’m lucky enough to have a job that I can partially do from home, and I was extremely paranoid from the get-go and nobody got sick under this roof so far. Turns out I’m even better at my job from home and I got permission to work from home one day per week even after the health crisis is over! My first name was also finally officially approved and I can’t tell you how happy I feel about that. I almost feel bad to have had such a good year considering the circumstances. I feel like an asshole just because I’m happy, haha.

The only frustrating part was that I was supposed to see Hatari in concert in Paris in early April which, as you can guess, was cancelled. I’m not too mad about it though, since their tour was called “Europe will crumble” and the message saying the tour was cancelled started with “since Europe is actually crumbling due to Covid-19″ and that’s hysterical.

Good or interesting albums that came out in 2020 now, let’s see.

Nightwish released Human/Nature, which was a huge letdown compared to their previous album, but I will relisten to it at some point to make sure I wasn’t just in a bad mood that day.

The Birthday Massacre released Diamonds, which might be their weakest album since their debut, but contained some real gems (I listened to The Last Goodbye on a loop, it floored me. Flashback and Enter are also very good).

The 1975 released Notes On A Conditional Form, and let’s be real, it’s a f█cking mess. You could cut half the tracks and end up with an excellent album, but as it is it’s like, yes, a collection of notes ; however there’s some truely excellent shit on it (see unelligible songs).

Thanks to a friend on a discord server I was exposed to Dorian Electra’s music and I haven’t been quite the same ever since. I’m so happy to be alive to see other enbies making such great music with an insanely good aesthetic surrounding it and asking so many interesting questions about gender. Also the arc the ‘gentleman’ character goes through over the course of the entire tracklist of the 2020 My Agenda album is absolutely hilarious, don’t @ me.

I also discovered 100 Gecs this year. Why are most of you guys saying it’s unlistenable garbage. It’s just as abrasive and over the top as industrial music is, but with none of the edginess or drama. I love it. What the hell. But yeah Tree of Clues was released this year. Good.

Speaking of industrial, in March 2020 Nine Inch Nails were like “hey remember when we released Ghosts I-IV a decade ago entirely for free and how amazing that was? Well we’re all in lockdown and bored as hell so here’s Ghosts V-VI and it’s also free. Enjoy” and I f█cking died instantly. And it’s even better than I-IV. What the hell was that year

Jonsi released Shiver. It’s strange and highly experimental. I’m pretty sure it’s a good thing I was into hyperpop this year, otherwise going from his previous material straight to this album would have been brutal.

Yadda yadda yadda After Hours by the Weeknd good yadda yadda.

I’ve joked about that already but if you had told me in 2019 that 2020 would have fires, a pandemic, riots, monoliths appearing and disappearing, and also a super good Machine Gun Kelly album, guess which part I would have found the most ridiculous. But yeah uh. Tickets to my Downfall good

So uh this year I tried to listen to some hyperpop and liked it a lot, and I also dipped my toes timidly into screamo and listened to Svalbard, who released When I Die this year, and the entire album was a very beautiful, very intricately decorated punch to the face. It sounds like God Is An Astronaut except with a shit ton of yelling. I love it. Open Wound is my favorite track on it.

But no, despite all of this, my album of the year was from a band I had never even heard about before that year, called Spanish Love Songs. The album is titled Brave Faces Everyone and it’s line after line after line of extremely relatable generational angst but yelled with complete sincerity and it’s so propulsive and energetic you can’t help but feel both exhausted and ready to fight the entire universe. I don’t know how it works, but it’s incredible. The entire album is wonderfully brutal, so it’s kind of difficult to pick my favorite songs on it, but Beachfront Property and the title track stand out.

Unelligible songs, now, and there’s, uh, quite a few of them too so I’m also gonna use bullet points. Good lord this post is gonna be long.

First, let me say I have literally no idea why Midnight Sky by Miley Cyrus wasn’t a bigger hit. It’s not on the year-end US top 100 and it feels extremely wrong. Would have made it to #4 on this list otherwise.

I still entertain the vague hope that stuff from Machine Gun Kelly will chart higher in 2021 but I doubt it will happen so I might as well tackle it now and say that Bloody Valentine and especially Forget Me Too are both excellent and that it’s a shame radios aren’t playing them more often.

Heaven by the late Avicii featuring Coldplay should have charted in 2019 and still didn’t chart in 2020 and that’s a real shame.

If the world was a bit less unfair, Lovesick Girls by Blackpink would have been a hit rather than the awful Ice Cream.

One day I will stop complaining about my bafflement concerning the lack of mainstream pop charts success of The 1975. Today is not that day. I just love how they keep making songs about extremely awkward relationships full of weird details, and I haven’t grown tired of that yet. So yeah If You’re Too Shy is about a guy who’s crush is asking him to get naked on Skype in his hotel room and he’s, uh, not too sure about that idea.

And Me & You Together is about a guy who never finds the right moment to tell his best friend he’s in love with her, and he manages to do so at the end and it’s cute as hell. My fave part is “I'm sorry that I'm kinda queer / It's not as weird as it appears / It's 'cause my body doesn't stop me (Stop me) / Oh, it's okay, lots of people think I'm gay / But we're friends, so it's cool, why would it not be?”. Relatable as f█ck.

And now for an international hit that should have been bigger in the US and/or in my country but wasn’t: Head & Heart by Joel Corry and MNEK.

I’ve heard Nos Célébrations by Indochine extremely often on French radio for months now so I was very surprised to see that it didn’t crack the local year-end list. What happened.

I can finally hear the appeal of Bring Me The Horizon. It took me ages. And also Death Stranding. The song Ludens isn’t in the game per say, but it’s among the ones you can pick to broadcast briefly when people drive by your constructions, and long story short it's been living rent-free in my head for months now.

Phew.

It’s time for a round of Honorable Mentions for elligible songs, containing a couple of guilty pleasures, which is saying something considering the kind of shit I put on some of my previous lists.

Ne Reviens Pas (Gradur et Heuss l’Enfoiré) - Heuss is a French artist that kept baffling me while making my lists for the previous years, and I was like “??? ok, that’s it then, I guess I’m getting too old to get what teenagers find funny”. This one worked for me, though. And the music video doesn’t hurt. Really dumb and really fun.

Adore You (Harry Styles) - Perfectly good little pop song, very pleasant to listen to, never outstayed its welcome for me.

Mood (24kGoldn) - This doesn’t sound like a very good relationship, my dude, but that’s still a super pleasant song.

WAP (Cardi B & Megan Thee Stallion) - This song is absolutely hilarious and I will hear no argument from any of you.

Control (Zoe Wees) - Was clearly a hit here. Should have been even bigger though. What a powerful but comfy voice. If I had better taste it would be on the list.

Hot Girl Bummer (Blackbear) - I. Uh. Listen. I keep saying I have bad taste and nobody believes me. Do you believe me now. But yeah. “F█ck you, and you, and you~, I hate your friends and they hate me too” is gonna pop in my head every single time someone is being a jerk anywhere near me now. It’s been happening all year already. Someone trashed my documents at work? Someone isn’t wearing a mask in public? That guy has filled his car with rolls of toilet paper? Brain goes “F█ck you, and you, and you~”. Every. Single. Time.

Come & Go (Juice WRLD & Marshmello ) - Damn, that’s a pretty good little song. I’ve seen plenty of people saying it’s ruined by the drop, but may I remind you I’m the person who loves Blue by Eiffel 65 with all my heart. If the song was ramping up consistently until the end instead of ending like that, it would have made the list, definitely.

And now, the actual list. This one actually feels pretty solid, I genuinely like everything on it, there’s no filler here for once.

10 - The Box (Roddy Rich)

US: #3 / FR: #23

Now this is a weird case, because for the longest time I couldn’t figure out why this song was so popular and I was completely neutral about it. Then, one morning in September, my mental jukebox (which always, always puts a song on a loop in my head when I wake up) decided to play it. And I was like oh wow?? I never noticed the atmosphere in that song before? It’s so great. And that hook too. Let’s listen to it.

So yeah, I don’t know what happened. It just clicked one day and everything fell into place, I guess.

9 - Alane (Wes & Robin Shulz)

US: Not on the list / FR: #93

Come on. You can’t do a remake of one of my previous #1 songs and let it chart in 2020. That’s cheating. Even with this subpar drop, I have to put it on the list, now.

I’ve already said my piece about the original, so I’m just going to send you back to my 1997 list.

8 - Kings and Queens (Ava Max)

US: Not on the list / FR: #76

[BBC documentary voice] After Lady Gaga decided to make piano balads and left her musical niche vacant, Ava Max quickly took her place as the top predator pop diva. Even after Lady Gaga was re-introduced to her natural habitat in 2020, she still hasn’t fully recovered in Europe, where Ava Max still reigns supreme on the charts -

(tldr I think it’s hilarious that this isn’t on the US Billboard while Lady Gaga isn’t on the French year-end top 100)

7 - Roses (Saint Jhn & Imanbek)

US: #19 / FR: #3

What an earworm. It doesn’t even bother trying to have an intro or an outro, so it loops almost perfectly. It’s like entering a party that started long before you arrived, and it will go on long after you leave it to go back home. Kind of hypnotic in a way.

And yes, my mental jukebox was very fond of using it to wake me up this year, so this is another song that’s here almost solely because of that.

6 - Physical (Dua Lipa)

US: Not on the list / FR: #69 (hehehe)

“Hey I’m not that old” says the guy who’s definitely a sucker for this kind of retro throwback that was so popular this year. Oh well.

I don’t have anything interesting to say about this one, though. Apart from the fact that everyone seems to have a different fave song on that album. Guess that’s quality for you.

5 - Rain on Me (Lady Gaga & Ariana Grande)

US: #48 / FR: Not on the list

That is far from being Lady Gaga’s best song, but it was a joy to listen to everytime it was on the radio anyway. Also Ariana Grande has surprisingly good chemistry with Gaga! This year was full of strange duets mostly made for commercial reasons, and this one isn’t an exception, but unlike a lot of them, it really, really works.

4 - Dynamite (BTS)

US: #38 / FR: Not on the list

I’m still not 100% sold on k-pop even if a ton of it sounds super good, but come on. Even if some bits of this song (especially the beginning of the second chorus) sound a bit like they were made on autopilot, it still sounds just as happy and fun several months after I first heard it and I never got tired of it. That’s quality. You hear it and you can’t help but tap your feet and smile.

Actually, I’m sure there’s people somewhere that don’t smile when they hear this song. And they must be avoided at all costs.

3 - Godzilla (Eminem ft Juice WRLD)

US: #62 / FR: Not on the list

What are you doing so high on this list, old man. Why are you still here in the year 2020. I thought we left you in the previous decade. Who gave you the right.

I’m gonna tell you who did, and it’s actually Juice WRLD. Because that chorus is incredible, and like a lot of people I’m pissed off because the guy died super young and this shit shouldn’t happen to anybody. No, his early material wasn’t great, but I’m sorry I’m gonna say it again: have you heard this damn chorus? It’s suspenseful and dark, it’s got this lowkey menacing quality, it’s an earworm and a half, and it’s more convincing in like six lines than Eminem’s own flexing is in the entire song.

The beat is extremely good as well, and the flow, obviously, impressive. The weakest link is Eminem’s writing, which is as usual full of puns and weird wordplay, except here a lot of it isn’t great, and that last ultra fast part at the end is technically impressive but it also drives the song up a cliff and stops it dead in its tracks once it’s over. But frankly the lines fly by so fast it’s difficult to be too annoyed by them.

Can I sincerely put this extremely flawed song so high on my list? A better question would be “did I spend hours trying to learn how to sing this shit without choking on my own spit?”. The answer is yes. To both.

2 - Heartless (The Weeknd)

US: #28 / FR: Not on the list

I’ve said it on my 2015 and 2016 lists already, but just for the record I’ll say it again: it took me ages to like The Weeknd, mostly because I found most of his songs fairly boring, or disliked the lyrics, or both. Also I never really liked the general vibe of his “sexy” songs like The Hills, they felt dark but in an unpleasant creepy way. Felt like miserable hedonism, if that makes sense.

So, because I’m a person with extremely consistent and logical tastes, here’s the exact same shit he was making before, except that this time I absolutely adore it.

What is he doing differently that makes the whole After Hours album click for me whereas almost all of his previous material failed to do so? Is it the energy? Is it the reverb? Is it the fact that the narrator sounds properly unhinged and, frankly, scared to be spiralling out of control? Why are the colors so beautiful yet full of anxiety? Why is that bridge so fantastic? How can you make your voice look like a glowstick in the dark?

I give up. I have no clue. At least I’m done talking about-

Oh.

1 - Blinding Lights (The Weeknd)

US: #1 / FR: #1 (listen sometimes something’s just that good, ok)

Surprise. Or not.

Wow, look at that, Johannes has put this year’s number one pop song at number one on their personal playlist. The audacity. The edge. What a hot take.

I discovered that song when it first came out at the end of 2019 and I adored it instantly. And I was so scared it wouldn’t be a hit. Which means I’m a f█cking dumbass considering it ended up breaking all sorts of records in 2020. But what can I say, overplay can be a blessing when you love a song that much.

Like every single song I put at number one on one of my lists, I will draw this one at some point and you will understand how incredibly satisfying it is to listen to a song called Blinding Lights, talking about city lights looking blurry when you’re driving at night, while looking itself like a bunch of blurry city lights passing by super fast. Perfect in every way.

Also it sounds exactly like A-ha, and that never hurts.

See you next year! Pretty sure it will be even better music-wise.

#Johannes’ bad not good pretty terrible music lists #music #long post #eye contact tw

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retphienix · 4 years

Video

youtube

Ah. What a game this has been so far.

Now I had a million thoughts I wanted to share as this played out, lord knows I’ll forget a good portion of them but that’s the nature of my own ineptitude- plenty of things I’ll remember MILES after this post or only if prompted in a specific way and that’s just how it is.

To start- this isn’t the end of DQ11 for the blog just yet. I usually don’t dive into post game unless it feels right or people ask and I’m convinced- and more or less both happened this time. It does feel right- I have definite goals I want to tackle before saying I’m happy with what I did here- and more than one person has mentioned that the post game is worth touching so I’ll be doing that.

Also, for those unfamiliar with my long winded utter mess of a finale post style I go for- this is a lot of rambling as I try my best to touch on my thoughts on the game overall because I like to share. Feel free to just press “J” on your keyboard and skip right passed this- I know **I** struggle to focus my eyes to read long winded posts so I won’t blame you.

Also also, in order to try and spark some of those thoughts I had during this recording the first bit is gonna be me re-watching it as I wait on the video to finish processing and saying what comes up.

To start- really wish there was a save point there lol. I get that it’s a painfully easy backtrack to the save point at the start of the castle- but still, I like convenience.

The Dark Lord’s first form is a huge step up from his form before absorbing Yggdrasil and this first form fight was fun and had me itching to say some good things about it but honestly? I want to save praise for the fight that deserves it- phase 2.

PHASE TWO THOUGH!? GOD TIER RPG FIGHT.

I’ve seen better, sure, but come on, we’ve ALL seen better at all times on all things especially considering preferences coming into it- this was a 10/10 boss fight, top to bottom.

Design? Beautiful. Even continued the DQ obsession with puns with his tail being Mordragon, that is so PERFECT so ‘chef kiss’ flawless and it’s just a name. I LOVE how he looks. I LOVE how he moves around the arena changing which head you’re facing.

I love how each had different strengths to contend with (which I abruptly fucked up, don’t call me out, I’ll prove I know what was going on right here and right now-). The dragon had strong melee and breath attacks while the dark lord himself had magic aplenty.

I even utilized swapping out for the first time ever not because I hadn’t seen the value beforehand (I’ve spoken on how interesting a strategic option it was seeing as every unit has unique moves to bring to the table and it costs nothing but ATB for that unit to do).

Now, I fucked that up, but I did it purely because this is the first fight up to this point that felt right to do so. It’s the first time the tactical value of switching out to buff defenses with Hendrik outvalued ignoring that option and maintaining my ATB on whomever I would switch out. THAT FELT SO GOOD! And then I let my braindead fingers buff defense on a magic phase and you see the point. It was brilliant but I was not!

I did end up ignoring the option after a few turns not because the value wasn’t there, but because he ALSO spams stat neutralizing moves which made me reconsider focusing so heavily on buffs and instead focusing on maintaining steady heals (mostly with Hustle dance).

This fight? Beautiful. I loved every second of it. I loved adjusting my playstyle on the fly, I loved finding my footing. I just loved it.

Beyond that- the ending. I got a chuckle out of how abrupt the credits come in. It seems to wind up for an end sequence only for Erik to say “Well, let’s go home” and it cuts to the credits- but THEN the credits ARE the end sequence so it wasn’t ACTUALLY as abrupt as it seemed, but it got a laugh out of me.

Now those credit scenes? I’m a sucker for games that make you fall in love with the characters and this was an ending catering to those characters. Not too much to say outside of “I was smiling the entire time” which is true.

There were a couple moments in that sequence that I said aloud “JUST HUG HIM YOU COWARD” to various characters, like Hero and Rab, or the two dorks (hero and Gemma), etc.

And they played on the mystique of the post game’s content well enough to pull people in I’d say- certainly more than what I recall DQ8 doing with the dragon trials.

I am probably wrong, but I recall the game drawing next to no attention to that post game content aside from a few moments in the game dragging you to the location only to not let you access it (hinting at more being there).

Anyway.

Honestly, after rambling about the video itself I feel a lot of what I wanted to say about DQ11 was said during the playthrough just fine. I rarely feel that way.

DQ11 was fun.

As a DQ fan, you can best believe I had fun.

As a stick in the mud who is disillusioned toward the game industry and doesn’t like a lot of the filth that accumulates within it- I obviously have a few negative thoughts on the game, but there really aren’t perfect games so much as perfect experiences based on how it affected you.

And I’ve voiced those annoyances plenty I think. For completion sake there are cut corners on animations that seem off when other places have a ton of attention to detail, that’s like bottom rung “I don’t actually give a shit” stuff though.

The bigger problems were Sugiyama is a horrible piece of human garbage and the game is lesser because of his influence on it. There are plenty of reasons behind that both big and small. Big- it feels gross having a human shitsack touching this game after having been so vocal for years- there are replacements at the ready and we still have his LGBT hating, war crime denying fingers handling the music? Shameful.

Small (but man did it fucking suck) being that every five minutes I was annoyed at the music in this game. It sounds Bad. And I mean both orchestral and midi, it’s not great compared to anything he made before for DQ, but the fact that it’s midi in this is EAR BLISTERING.

I’m not one to listen close to most music while playing for whatever reason- and I admit that knowing who’s responsible is half of why my ears tuned it in instead of tuning it out, but man I couldn’t help it and it sucks.

The same 3 second ear rattling loops are ALL OVER THE PLACE. Grandiose moments are cut short by bland midi tunes. MAIN STORY MOMENTS ARE LACKING MUSIC ALTOGETHER FOR SOME REASON? When the hero gets the flute and plays it for the first time it just DIDN’T MAKE A NOISE? Subsequent uses of the flute made a noise, but not the main first cutscene?

It’s a whole thing.

And don’t make me get that dirty capitalist pain in my chest over the fact the S version was released 2 months after this and includes so much content that SCREAMS “This already existed and we diced and quartered it specifically to create the illusion of ‘value’ for this release”. Disgusting, man. :/

Gameplay wise, the biggest complaint I have is so loaded and half hearted but I have to say it anyway.

DQ is good because it’s simple.

DQ can also be a little lacking because it’s simple.

This was the second most fun I’ve had playing a main series DQ game (DQIII just hits right), and it definitely has better gameplay (so my opinion is subjective) than the one I prefer to this. But it was also a bit too simple... But you can’t change that and be DQ, it’s complicated.

To just say it- other than the final boss every encounter was a bit too easy. And I know I overlevel, I know that’s the point, I know there’s a hard mode modifier- I KNOW, but the final boss was REALLY GOOD AND still not too hard, so the fact that most every other encounter did the minimum or the minimum +1 is a little tiny (just a bit) disappointing because the gameplay could have been that much better.

But. That could just be my head spinning tales and being a biased asshole especially since I’m not offering any solution here and I’m admitting it’s both “better than my favorite gameplay in the main series” and “probably can’t be made more involved without losing DQ simplicity”.

But I’d kill for some different or new systems on top of this- dual and triple techs from Chrono instead of RNG pep, bosses with more varied strategies instead of “stun 2-3 and do raid wide attack”.

A reason to care about elemental damage (both incoming and outgoing), plenty of little things that would just make the already solid as hell combat more interesting to participate in.

Story was honestly fantastic. I didn’t know how I was going to end that until I just let it come. It was. This is the best DQ story thus far, and not to limit it to that scope- this was a GOOD DAMNED STORY overall and I’ve played a fuckload of games with good stories.

Before this I was a sucker for the original trilogy’s overarching story, which is unfair because that’s 3 games and that’s an old story and it’s only “good” because it’s unprecedented. But this is just plain great.

It writes such beautiful characters- it tackles a variety of conflicts both big and small- you have Sylv and his dad, you have a possessed king declaring his daughter Jade dead and Jade knowingly betraying him without knowing he’s possessed, you have Erik giving up on life and only putting himself so deeply into this adventure as a means of escape, you have Hendrik’s loyalty being- I can’t pretend Hendrik fits in he’s fucking stupid and needs to ask questions because loyalty for the sake of loyalty isn’t interesting at all lol.

You have Rab believing the world is doomed and doing all he can with Jade up until they find you are alive. You have the INCREDIBLE story of Veronica and Serena- you have all these intensely lovable and understandable characters (and Hendrik) and the story is so much more about them than just about the dark lord and the hero.

It’s so much more about each of their conflicts and growth because all of that is HOW the hero will defeat the dark lord.

It’s just so much more... investing than any of the stories I’ve had in DQ before and strong as hell amongst stories beyond just DQ.

I loved this. It was emotional at times, it was downright depressing at times which I wouldn’t expect DQ to successfully hit, it was downright rewarding getting to know these characters and I feel fantastic having beaten this.

This game is fucking good. I finally understand why some people have told me this is their favorite DQ now. It... yeah I think it might be mine too.

I’d be much more likely to revisit DQ3 than this because it’s shorter and has a specific kind of RPG (class based with freely recruited partners instead of named party members) I find more fun to revisit, but yeah, I think I agree.

I think for main-series DQs this is it, this is my favorite. It has to be, right? It’s got so many INCREDIBLE story moments and it’s pretty and it plays great- yeah. Hell, Sylvando as a character and Serena and Veronica’s arc BY THEMSELVES convince me of that.

Still got nothing on DWM and DWM 2 on the GBC, WOOOOT! Didn’t expect this post to divert from a serious closing thoughts (despite there being a few more posts to come) topic to posting this did you?

Behold the true faces of DQ perfection.

#RetPlays #Dragon Quest 11 #Dragon Quest XI #Dragon Quest

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brandossss · 3 years

Text

( tommy martinez , 24 , cismale ) i just bumped into brando esparza the other day while walking down east kingsboro , where he lives . i hear they can be brave and impatient , but when i think of them i immediately think of ( venezuelan pride , curly hair , going to the gym literally everyday )

tw : communism , corruption , poverty , violence , death ( suicide )

full name : brando nicolas estefano esparza

nicknames : just brando , if he really fucks with you you can get away with teasingly calling him brandy , but not even lolol

gender : cismale

height : 6 ′ 2

age : 24

birthday : august 4 , 1996

zodiac : leo ( aries moon , capricorn ascendant )

right handed or left handed : ambidextrous , but basically right handed

eye color : light brown

hair color : dark brown

piercings & tattoos : no piercings , this tattoo of venezuela right here , but on his left wrist

languages spoken : spanish ( native tongue ) and english

sexuality : pansexual / panromantic

place of birth : maracay , venezuela

last 3 songs listened to : llueve sobre la ciudad by los bunkers , yo te esperare by cali y el dandee , soñe ( unplugged ) by zoé

so brando was born to yessenia olivares and bruno esparza in maracay , venezuela . originally , he wasn’t supposed to be named brando . a fun fact & random little headcanon is that his mother & father had the full intention of naming him brandon , after his grandfather ( or father’s father ) , who passed a week before he was born . being both parents’ first born , his father got super nervous during his mother’s labor & basically ? got really wasted because he was practically crapping his pants about his son being born . when he went to sign his birth certificate , he was so drunk , he literally forgot to write the ‘ n ’ in brandon . once they realized the mistake his father had made , they didn’t want to go through the annoyance of changing his name , so , they went with brando , and surprisingly ? it really stuck & everyone loved it more than brandon kdjvcndfkcmn

he was an average kid tbh . his family was middle class & even though his country had been struggling ( for the lack of a better word ) for years now , he didn’t fully feel the economic fall at first , of course . now fast forward a few years & shit is changing right before his eyes , and he’s really ? just a kid

pretty much communism coming to it’s finest point tbh . all these restaurants , stores , businesses , all these places brando used to go to when he was younger ? done with , or just government owned & a blink away from breaking completely . it’s actually really sad because he’s literally watching it all happen , watching his country go down the drain & there’s really nothing he can do to stop it

his father becomes an active protester , along with many other angry venezuelans , but this does more bad than good . eventually his father gets arrested at a protest when brando is 11 years old . that was over a decade ago & up to this very day , present time , brando has no idea where his father is , if he’s well , or if he’s even alive tbh ( talk about trauma ? ) . it’s like one day he’s coming home , giving his only son a hug , & the next day , he completely vanished from planet earth , as if he’s some high profile serial killer when really , he was just protesting the shit communist government they’re living in

it’s just brando & his mom from that point on . of course , things just get worse with time . i’m not gonna get into details but basic poverty & communism tbh . they’re hungry , they’re�� broke , the country is just getting worse & worse with each passing moment ( hyper inflation , food scarcity , severe corruption , government abuse , do i even need to go on ? ) . all these things anger brando to no extent & he finds himself releasing his anger with his fists . it’s getting into random fights for no reason & screaming at anyone who even looks at him weirdly , pretty much becoming an angry ass kid

TW : SUICIDE , READ WITH CAUTION !! things are bad but they really hit rock bottom when his mother , surprisingly , commits suicide . brando finds her foaming at the mouth , a clear overdose , but by the time they make it to the hospital , she’s pronounced dead . literally a 15 year old boy , alone , in venezuela .... honestly terrifying . brando literally doesn’t know where to go ? on top of the trauma he’s holding he’s worried about his living arrangements as well . luckily , a friend of his allows him to stay at his house a few nights but this is just temporary

he just really wants to leave his country but he feels completely stuck . he’s depressed & angry as fuck but he’s determined to get out somehow . brando eventually contacts a family friend on facebook ( aka claudia’s mom ? ) & tells them his situation . it seems to touch this woman’s heart so much , she , wait for it , brings him over to the states . he spends his 16th birthday in america , with claudia & her family . the year is 2012

very slowly , but things begin getting better for him . he’s enrolled into school & pretty much gets guided through everything thanks to claudia . they are not blood related , but their families were so close at one point that they’re pretty much ? cousins tbh ! literally not blood related but still family

with his dedication & ambition he pretty much catches on completely in less than 3 years ( learning english of course ) , he loses his accent completely after 4 . he goes through a whole adoption thing with claudia’s family until he thankfully gains american residency thanks to them , which of course , eventually leads him to citizenship . instead of picking fights with people for no reason , brando takes out his anger with physical activity , becoming very much involved in going to the gym , or even just exercising by himself . whether it’s leg day , boxing , whatever it is , he loves any type of physical work , since it keeps his mind distracted

this has pretty much lead him to have quite a #body tbh . like .... it’s hella obvious he works out kdndjndjvnfd

he also developed a hobby for piano , after taking piano classes in high school , beginning of freshman year . he’s been playing since he was 16 , eventually buying a crap keyboard when he was 17 . he does piano covers on youtube , but again , this is really just a hobby of his

DEATH TW !! after the passing of claudia’s parents , her & brando move to kingsboro when they’re both 19 ! they share an apartment with lemon

on top of that , he’s a bartender @ blue ! he’s also a personal trainer . literally lifting 24/7 for him .... bless

he enjoys drinking on weekends & letting loose every once in a while but i don’t think he’s crazy about weed tbh . he thinks the feeling is nice , but he hates how it makes you hungry . would never go out of his way to buy weed & basically only smokes it if he’s offered , preferring alcohol , but again , he mostly just exercises & eats right , not really having any addictions of any kind , just little hobbies every one in a while

brando honestly ? considers himself lucky , despite all the terrible things he’s been through . he feels lucky that he left before things got really , really bad , even though they were already pretty awful tbh . anyone who hears his story would think he’s anything but fortunate but the truth of the matter is that he’s one of the lucky ones . not every venezuelan has had the opportunity to leave & he just feels very fortunate that he was one of the few that did

he’s not the type to take anything for granted tbh , very much the type of person who appreciates everything he has , no matter how small . you could literally get him a present from the dollar store for christmas & he would still be super happy about it . for him , it’s the thought & time put into something that counts , not the price , or the brand

he very much struggled with his sexuality for years . not because he was in denial or ashamed or anything , but for the longest time , he kind of just didn’t know what he was ? sometimes he thought he was straight but undergoing a phase , other times he wondered if he was gay , then he considered himself bi for a really long time . the truth is that he didn’t fully understand his sexuality up until not too long ago , when he began hanging with an lgbtq+ crowd . eventually , he realizes society basically labels him as ‘ pansexual ’ , but he doesn’t even really like to label himself ? brando just falls in love with the person , with their soul , & he doesn’t care what they have underneath tbh

i haven’t fully figured him out yet because he’s a new character but i picture he can be such a stereotypical leo sometimes , but , his whole #capricorn ascendant really does take place for him , in the sense that he can be a very difficult person to read sometimes . like is he happy ? is he upset ? is that just his face ? is he planning something ? you will rarely ever know tbh

he’s a very humble person , probably because of his childhood . he hates show offs tbh , or very rich people with no consideration for anyone . literally .... miss him with that bullshit lmfao . he finds the entire snobby or ‘ i’m better than you ’ attitudes to be so unattractive tbh ? you could be the hottest person on the planet but if he hates your attitude you really just don’t matter to him lolol

over all he’s a lot calmer than he was before tbh . he still has his moments but he’s a pretty stable guy in the sense that he no longer wants to beat up everything or anyone he see’s . he still has a ton of issues to work on but basically just doesn’t wanna go to therapy & doesn’t really talk about his past at all , preferring to ‘ live in the present ’ even though talking about his issues & sharing his pretty shitty story would definitely help him clear out his head but 🥴 it honestly probably won’t happen & he’ll probs just keep burying shit LMFAOOOO

very very hard working guy , ambition like crazy , always gives his all in anything he feels strongly about , he’s very good at persuading people tbh , usually gets told he’d make a ‘ great lawyer ’ because he just has this way of convincing you like ? he would never become a lawyer but the truth is that he would make a great one , persuasion skills like a MF

this is all i can think of now but i did his birth chart ting 🖤

#kingsboro.intro #everyone is asleep n no one is gnna read this but kjsfjvn yee

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coffeesuperhero · 4 years

Note

(Friend, here's a fic meme for you!) Ask meme time! Pick three fics you have written, post a favorite section of each and explain why it is your favorite. Then, pass it on! :D

Ah, thank you so much, my friend!! Putting this under a read more since it’s probably gonna get kinda long :D

01. two lost souls swimming in a fishbowl (the anatomy of apocalypse. remix).

A blast from the past for this one but it’s been Big Mood for me lately, so. This is a West Wing story, and a remix of a post-apoca Sam/CJ piece that I absolutely adore by furies.

When it is her time to sleep, he sits on the burnt ground and watches the cavernous expanse of thick ashen clouds that conceals the stars that travelers once used to light their way home. Even the illuminating glow of Polaris cannot pierce these clouds, but it is of no consequence: there is little use for celestial navigation when they have no terrestrial destination.

In a perpetual waking nightmare they trudge on through the wasteland of the world, communicating mostly through gestures, if at all. There is little to say that isn't as empty as they are, and as words begin to lose their meaning he tries, desperately, to hold onto language, the last best vestige of his humanity. When he can no longer summon the will to create sentences, he murmurs hollow words, any words he can recall, under invisible stars that died millions of years before he did. Stars are really only dead husks of gas and flame that look alive unless you know better, unless you know that what you're seeing is a lie that is older than the world.

When he looks at her he sees the stars. When he looks for the stars he sees nothing.

Somewhere above the smoke and ash and sulfuric acid aerosol there are still stars, and among them is Galileo. Centuries ago Galileo Galilei looked up at the stars, and for performing that miracle they told him that he was a sinner. Now he wanders a celestial battlefield littered with dead and dying heavenly bodies, exiled for eternity to the vast cold vacuum of space.

Galileo. He said it right, once. Now he says nothing.

The original story is all from CJ’s perspective so my remix is from Sam’s, which was an excuse to lean into language and the importance of it, how much Sam tries to cling to his own humanity after the world ends by turning it into story, or, when there is a lack of a cohesive narrative for his life any longer, into any words he can still find. It’s about two people who are falling apart. It’s bleak. There is not a lot of hope in it. It’s just two people slowly unraveling but determined to live anyway, which maybe is something I connect pretty strongly to at this moment in time!!!! This story also contains the line, “if wishes were horses, they would all have pale riders,” which I’m not gonna lie is one of my favorite lines I have ever written and i stopped trying to top it years ago because probably I will not.

02. you do not have to be good.

He cracks a shit ton of eggs into a flour well and wonders if Parker and Hardison are aware that where he comes from, feeding someone is sort of a silent I love you. He frowns at the eggs. Thinks about Hardison buying this place. Thinks about Parker not really seeing anything special about food until recently. Hardison knows, probably, that he feeds people because he loves them. Parker almost certainly doesn't.

He thinks of how he might explain that to her, and it gets complicated pretty quick, because the truth is that where he's from, food can also sort of be a silent fuck you, considering the number of times he's been to a potluck where something like ten different little old ladies brought the same recipe, each secretly thinking theirs was better than you-know-who's. He can still hear the whispered accusations, all these years later. I just saw Flora come through the front door with her casserole dish. You know she puts carrots in that, don't you? Yes, you heard me right. Carrots.

He laughs a little at that. Maybe not everything from home was bad, even if it does seem to have left him with enough baggage to fill a damn shipping container. He hadn't really realized how much he'd been resenting that lately until now, but as he carefully mixes eggs and flour together with a fork, he feels a little of that hurt slipping away. As far as he's concerned, whatever he grew up with, all this internalized whatever, was sort of like a potluck: you go down the line and fill your plate and sometimes you take shit you don't want because it makes other people happy, but in the end you eat what you like, and then later when Miss Flora isn't looking you dump the rest of the shit on your plate in the trash because goddamn, her corn casserole is the worst one you've ever tasted. Who puts carrots in that? The devil, probably.

By the time the eggs and the flour are a big ball of dough underneath his hands, he's chuckling to himself, and he honestly feels a whole lot better about everything. The knot of anxious tension that's been sitting in the pit of his stomach since he and Hardison had that talk is gone. Whoever he is, whatever he is, it'll come together. He just picked up a lot of shit that wasn't his, that's all, but it's not who he is, and he doesn't have to keep it. It's just a potluck. It's shitty corn casserole. It's okay. He can toss it out and make a better one.

I dumped a lot (A LOT) of my other Southern/Heartland queer feelings into this brace of Eliot-centric stories for Leverage fandom earlier this year, and this is maybe one of the most Me parts of the whole thing, because I’ve given myself the Potluck Talk on and off for at least twenty years now. The attitudes about food and potlucks and the battles between potluck cooks described here are also 100% pulled from my real life, and that’s why this is my favorite. This is just me, working through my shit while cooking, only it’s Eliot, too. We love a convenient excuse to tell our own stories and work through our own shit with fanfiction, right?

03. visible cities

This is an old The Phantom Tollbooth piece that I wrote for Yuletide several years ago, and since Yuletide signups are opening and I’m feeling nostalgic, here’s the opening bit from this piece:

Many long years have passed since Milo's journey through the kingdom of Wisdom. He is older now, which is to be expected: hardly anyone grows younger in the course of many long years, though the lessons he learned as a boy have kept his heart lighter than most.

The way into other worlds had been easy enough to find, once he knew where to look, and oh, the things he has seen.

Still, as exciting as his life has been, he thinks of his friends from Wisdom often, especially Tock, especially lately, for he never seems to have enough time. There's always something to see, something to do. There are mountains to climb and oceans to swim, and he's been climbing and swimming for so long now that he has quite forgotten what it is to do something that is entirely for himself.

"I'm as tired as can be," he murmurs, a wistful smile on his face as he strolls home, careful as ever to take in all of the sights along the way, for no matter how many times he walks this path, he always finds something new to delight him.

When he arrives at home, there is a box waiting for him, the packaging the same wonderful blue that he remembers from his childhood, and he smiles so brightly that an unhappy gentleman passing by the window at that exact moment suddenly remembers all of the kind things anyone had ever done for him and immediately hurries home to hug his children.

I just love this book so much, it was very much a Formative Book for me, and when I got this Yuletide assignment I did my best to write sort of a love letter to other media through the vehicle of this story. This passage in particular I like because I like the thought of Milo as an older man, still carrying the lessons he learned so long ago with him now. And I really liked the guy outside running home to hug his kids. It felt Very like the book to me, the book is full of those kinds of things and it’s one of the reasons I love it, this way that Milo is connected to other people even when he doesn’t know them, because...we are, and it’s a small detail, but it’s why I like this bit of the story.

#ask meme #correspondence #norationalthoughtrequired #my fic #fic

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thorsstorms · 5 years

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The Bestfriend

Winter Soldier/James x Reader (soulmate AU)

She thought she had grown out of her night mares, until she has another years later, and she remembers it this time in vivid detail. The heartbreaking sounds of a man in pain. Her soulmate was not what she expected, but shared dreams means they are your soulmate, right? She was going to love him no matter what.

Warnings: Shit ton of angst and worry.

Marvel Masterlist

The Bestfriend

She stared at the TV screen on her floors’ lobby wall, watching it with peeled eyes just as a few coworkers next to her were. It was only a normal morning, they all start the same. But what kind of morning is it ever when something like this happens. Not to compare it to 9/11 but.. That was also a very normal morning. No one expects to be bombed while enjoying the start their morning. Especially not congressmen and women, leaders from around the world, and her own boss.

She could not think straight, watching as they covered what happened only minutes ago.

“Has anyone heard from Mr. Stark?” She hears someone ask from behind her. Mumbles were there in reply but she turned away from the screen and strutted straight back into her office, shutting the door behind her. It was alarming. What if the tower was next? Who was one to know?

She called Peppers’ cellphone with the land line sitting on her desk. It rings and rings as she taps on the desk nervously. Of course Pepper does not answer, to her own dismay. It was silly to think she would.

She left the tower, rushing the entire way home. She really just wanted to be in her safe space. Her apartment was cozy, nothing bad can happen within her walls, surely. Besides, she could do her own work at home. All she needed was her laptop and cell phone. Emails were easy to handle. The only reason she got her own office in the first place was because Mr. Stark, now just Tony to her, was asking for special favors that were not in her job description. There were little things… purchases, meetings, deliveries that he didn't want Pepper to worry about. Ahem, know about, so she did a little black mail. She was so sick of her little cubicle. She found it unnecessary if she could do it from home but her boss wanted her there, so she never complained. The office was such an upgrade though. The view, the large oak desk and the couch. Not to mention the wall of her own books and items of her own pleasure. The third coziest place to her. The second being her own apartment; the first is an almost forgotten dreamscape garden with her favorite person in the world.

She still considers her special James as her favorite person, despite the feeling of abandonment. She tried not to dwell on it anymore. She liked to pretend he was out there living his life happy without her, not bearing to think about an alternative.

She left messages for both Tony and Pepper saying that she went home, as well as over two thirds of the building. If they needed her for dealing with PR they knew they could just call, but until then she would be doing her work from home.

The TV got turned on after she settled herself on the couch. Her phone was eerily silent on the end table, everything felt eerily silent. The TV was her choice of background noise while she wrapped a blanket around her and opened her laptop knowing that she was going to be more than busy with Tony’s emails, considering.

“Yes, I’m fine Mom. I left the tower a few hours ago, right after it happened.” Her family knew where she worked, of course. Doing her own work became increasingly harder to do when calls and texts started to flood in as the news spread, all to make sure she was okay. She closed her own eyes and laid her head on the back of the couch. Overwhelmed was an understatement.

She listened to the ramblings of a protective, yet loving mother. She was always so worried for her daughters’ safety. Especially with no one else to keep an eye on her.

It seems like everytime she gets out or scrolls social media there was another couple. An engagement, a pregnancy, a new house together. Everyone is finding their soulmates while she gets to watch. Everything was happening around her and she was just there, along for the ride. Nothing exciting ever happened.

Times like these her mother wished her daughter could find her soulmate sooner than later. Her mother was clueless as to her daughters knowledge of her own solmate, or even her lack of knowledge on her soulmate.

He’ll show up, she tells herself every night.

“The bomber has been identified as James Barnes, also known as the Winter Soldier.”

The world freezes as she stares at the screen. A close up shot of a masked man.

It couldn't be.

She feels her heart ache, tear in two with hope that he’s alive and fear that he’s alive.

They’ve made a mistake, she thinks.

“No, no.” She whispers to herself. The call was long forgotten and ended with automatic fingers. She covers her mouth as she watches the screen begging it for more information, but not much was given. Other then, “orders to shoot on site.”

She doesn’t hear herself as she cries into her hands, but feels the lump of fear try to morph into a feeling of relief that he was alive. She feels frantic. He’s so close to her. She may be in New York, but he was not too far. D.C. is not too far.

He’s real.

She doesn’t think as she dials Tony’s number again. He has to do something. She’s going to tell him that James is her soul mate. The dial tone ends and she clips the call off knowing he’ll never listen to a voice message. She types a sloppy text, fingers too shakey but way to urgent to fix it.

“Tony plese call me i saw the news you cant let them kill james hes my soulmte i promise ill explain bt dnt let htem. You have to do soemting”

“Tony pleae call me”

“You cant let them sget him first.”

He never texts her back. It’s horrible, he probably thinks she is crazy and she just knows he won’t understand. She can’t bring herself to eat. Or sleep, as much as she wants to sleep and get away from this mess.

It’s been two days and there has been silence on her end. The news has nothing new. There is know way to contact Tony, she’s tried everything. Building the courage to clean herself up a little and do something productive was not an easy task to accomplish so soon.

She moped around the apartment, not bearing to even look in the direction of her bedside table where a stack of dream journals lie. She knows what is in them. Her life with James was articulated on every page, ink covering every square inch, front and back. She can't look at them knowing that it could have all been for nothing.

It could never be for nothing, she would never regret what she feels for her James. Her James didn't do this, he could not have.

Her james was kind, and gentle with everything he touches. His fingers picking up a small pink Peonie and resting it on the table. Pink was his favorite. Her James was a curious soul, he always wanted to know more, even if he didnt vocalize it. She could see it in his eyes. Her James was full of life. He was trusting and showed his emotions through actions. She read him like a book.

Her James could not be this man they charge with killing the King of Wakanda. She doesn’t believe it for a second.

A knock on the apartment door knocked her from wallowing and from the hole she was slowly digging her emotions into. She was sure she was at the stage of anger. How could anyone think of her James to be so cruel?

She quickly got dressed and walked to the door while squeezing her hair dry from a shower. The persistent knocking continued until she whipped the door open, displaying her irritation. It was wiped quickly when she came face to face with Captain Rogers staring her down. She stiffened as the man stepped forward into her apartment, she backed up from him not protesting. He looks behind him, checking the halls right and left before shutting the door and locking it, turning to her.

She was tense, her face going pale by the look on his face.

Tony must’ve told him, and now Captain Rogers was here to get information so he could hunt down James and be the one to kill him himself.

“How do you know Bucky?” His voice commanded an answer.

“Who?” She asks, lowering her shoulders in confusion.

“Tony said you know him. Did Tony lie?” His tone was stern, giving no room for contemplation.

“James?” She tried to conceal how breathless her voice is. She doesn't want him to get hurt but honestly, Rogers was definitely scaring her.

“I- I don't, I. It wasn't him.” She mutters quickly. She is not sure how to go about this but knows she doesn't want to be the reason her James ends up with a bullet hole through his head. “He wouldn't do that. He’s not the Winter Soldier or whatever they are calling him. He-He just wouldn't do this! You have to believe me!”

She could feel tears welling in her eyes. She was not keen on confrontation, especially with someone that has such a demeaning presence but she would do anything to stand up for her James. If that means powering through and defying orders then she would gladly keep her lips sealed.

“I do believe you.”

“I promise that isn’t him- what?” He believes her?

“Just tell me how you think you know him!” Steve was close to losing his patience on this girl, raising his voice.

“He- I know him from my dreams. He’s my soulmate, we share dreams.” She rambles still stuck on the fact that he believes her. If he believes her then he might not want to hurt him, right? “I promise I don't know anything. I haven’t seen him in almost a year. He never let me ask about him. He didn't like talking about it. Really I don't know anything. But I promise you that James wouldn't have done this.”

She finishes trying to catch her breath.

“I’m going to find him.” Steve says. It’s final, she can hear it in his conviction.

“No, no, please,” She begs him, her heart thrown out the window and all sensible thought didn't make sense anymore. “Please they have the wrong person. James is good, he is kind. He loves me, I know he does.”

She feels a tear slip but she doesn't pay any mind to it. She was not letting Captain Rogers leave here without being convinced. He can't hurt James, he just can’t.

“He’s been hurt and there are bad people that have hurt him but he doesn't deserve to be framed for this. I don't know what he’s been through but I can only imagine. Captain,” She pleads, “if you could have seen him the first time I found him. He was screaming, for ages. Every night he was so terrified of something but I don't know what it was. They've done something bad to him but he’s escaped from them. He escaped the darkness.” She cries, ready to beg at her knees.

She is so consumed with convincing the man before her that she doesn't notice his own reaction to her words. How would it feel to hear that his best friend tortures himself with nightmares every night? Has been hurting for decades with no one to help him?

His eyes water at the thought but pushes it away. Steve reaches for her arms, but she flinches away from him, rocketing to the other side of the room.

Steve’s hands shoot in front of him to show that he earns no harm to her, his brow furrowing at the fact that she was scared of him, “No, I didn’t mean it like that. I won’t let anyone hurt him,” he assures her.

She calms, wiping her face and clasping her shaking hands behind her back. Who was she to argue with his declaration to keep her James safe.

“I don’t understand, Captain Rogers.” She mutters but he hears her loud and clear.

“He’s my best friend.” He takes a few steps closer to her, showing his hands in submission. He wasn't going to hurt her. “From before I went in the ice, he’s been my best friend since we were young. I dont- I dont know whats happening or why he’s still alive, I’ve run into him before. Hydra has done something to him. But I’m going to get him back.”

“Hydra?” She asks, her face darkening in confusion. “Is, is that what the darkness is called?”

“I assume so. I get it, when I find him, you will be the first to know.” He watches her face brighten up, a small twitch of her lips at the thought of seeing him in person. Alive and hopefully, well. “And please, call me Steve.”

Steve does not stay much longer with her. She has a number to contact him and vise versa but he leaves without giving her much more information. How cruel is it to turn this into a waiting game?

#Bucky Barnes #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x reader #winter soldier #winter soldier x reader #marvel masterlist #Steve rogers

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ranger-report · 4 years

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Review: THE WITCHER 2: ASSASSINS OF KINGS (2011)

With the first Witcher game under my belt, I decided to plunge straightaway into the second game in the series: The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings. Expecting little beyond improvements in graphics and controls, I was very curious to see how the game delivered on the cliffhanger ending of the first game, in which Geralt of Rivia defended King Foltest of Temeria from a would-be assassin, only to reveal that the killer was also a witcher. I’d had a decent time with The Witcher: Enhanced Edition, particularly in the storytelling aspects and the choose- your-own-adventure narrative, but had found myself frustrated by dated game design and graphics and lackluster combat. Still, it was, by the end, an arresting experience that had captured my intrigue enough to make me want to go back and replay it to see what paths I could have chosen. Choice is truly the number one aspect of The Witcher, in that Geralt generally chooses not to choose sides, but is often found forced into doing so. Choice is also the highlight of The Witcher 2: Assassins of Kings, so much so that by the end of the game I was nearly horrified with how all of my decisions, ambient though some of them were, had stacked into a neat pile of awful fuckery. If you want to feel good about what you’ve done by the end of a game, The Witcher series might not be for you. But if moral ambiguity and robust, branching paths are what you seek, then read on dear reader, because things are about to get immediately messy in what is some ways a vastly superior sequel to the first game, but in other ways falls short of the narrative potential established by its predecessor.

From the start, Witcher 2 is once again a big game of Choose Your Own Adventure. Opening with a prologue establishing Geralt’s involvement in a political assassination, the player is continually given agency over where Geralt is going, what he wants to do, and how he is going to do it. This is at once the game’s biggest strength. Just as in the first game, Geralt’s choices have domino effects that tumble down the slippery slope of lesser evil decision making, affecting what characters do and whether or not they might appear elsewhere in the game. And, furthering the CYOA aspects, certain portions of the grander story are hidden from sight should Geralt choose to go down a different path. Maybe some characters will have happier endings than we see them get if Geralt decides to help them instead of quest elsewhere -- maybe not. Perhaps the biggest departure from the previous game’s style is that the entire second chapter of Witcher 2 is different depending on which side of a conflict you choose to enable. This, of course, is also all based on whom you’ve sided with previously, with deft moments of quick situational judgements, some of them timed. Give the elven rebel his sword so he can defend himself, or push him to the side so you can leap into the fray yourself? Not every decision is placed in front of the player as a monumental choice; some of them are as simple and clean as whether or not you pick up an object in front of you, knowingly saving someone’s life. This makes the world -- and the story -- feel surprisingly alive, vibrant, always on edge as though the lightest touch in any direction will spell consequences for some and reward for others. This does, however, create a shorter gameplay experience overall. Where my full playthrough of the first game was close to fifty hours, I clocked in just over thirty hours here, but this is partially because the full content of the game cannot be seen in only one playthrough. There’s a massive amount of game to be held, but the unfortunate reality is that it can only be seen piecemeal. It’s like getting to the end of an actual Choose Your Own Adventure novel, only to realize there’s a vast amount of pages left unread because you didn’t take the roads less traveled...or simply traveled differently. For better or for worse, the first time through this game will leave the player with the sensation that there is a lot that they didn’t get to see, despite the freedom of branching paths being thrilling and adventurous. And the story itself isn’t nearly as investing as the previous game. Geralt’s adventure in clearing his name of wrongdoing and tracking down his memories are at the forefront of his story, but in the background is a complex, political plot that simultaneously is and isn’t important to follow. Decisions made by Geralt heavily affect what’s going on, even as Geralt himself is constantly growling about how he wants to track the kingslayer and a missing friend. But the game and the characters populating it continually drag him back to the fray because they need him, dammit, and if he wants the means to his ends then he’ll have to endure everyone else’s shit. Perhaps that’s the point: Geralt’s actions continually change the entire world around him, whether he wants to be a part of it or not. That said, the straightforward narrative is defiantly strong here, partly because the branching system demands it need be. This is a Story with a Purpose, the Purpose being to establish a series of unfortunate events happening around Geralt, if not to Geralt. But when it’s as bland as it is -- save for the bits where Geralt is trying to clear his name -- it can be difficult at times to maintain a steady pace. And the entire third act takes place in a ruined elven city which is a chore to navigate, nearly ruining the momentum and the whole of the game’s experience; there’s two disasterously difficult combat engagements to wade through as well as a grating boss battle with a large beast, not to mention a magical puzzle which demands navigating the labyrinthine ruins if you want to discover what it is. And yet, by the end, the house of cards comes tumbling down into the awful realization that everything behind the scenes has been doing its utmost to raise the stakes high enough to win the whole pot, and depending on Geralt’s actions, it does so to varying degrees. I sincerely doubt there is anything close to a happy ending in one of the alleged 16 conclusions the game contains; if anything, it can only go from shitfucked to fucked-with-hope-on-the-horizon. And, despite the sometimes slog, that’s effective.

Gameplay has seen a heavy upgrade. Gone are the original title’s point and click controls, replaced with a more intuitive interface that relies heavily on action and exploration. Similar to Arkham Asylum’s Detective Vision, Geralt can use his medallion to scan the world around him for interactive elements or objects to search through. Neat in concept, but oftentimes the execution is lacking; it can be incredibly difficult to find objects on the ground left by corpses without always using the medallion, as they can get lost in the surrounding scenery. Upgraded, too, is the combat, which is thankfully no long a boring fucking exercise in clicking at the right time to string together combos. Geralt rolls, swings, magics at the click of a button, using the WASD and mouse camera to keep an eye on the action. The triple division of combat styles -- fast, strong, and group -- are replaced with a fast and strong attack bound to the two mouse keys, and upgrades can make it so Geralt’s attacks can hit multiple people. Blocking is integral, but Geralt needs vitality for a block to be effective, or it will chip away his health. I both enjoyed and did not enjoy the new combat system. It’s functional, but I couldn’t help but feel out of control in tense moments, attempting to roll or dodge or block or use signs between sword strikes. Geralt only swings at whoever he is targeting, not simply in front of him, so if you accidentally turn the camera to the wrong angle while trying to attack he will swiftly turn and swing at someone else entirely, leaving him open to devastating counterattacks from behind. Frustration can mount quickly, as it seems that Geralt is a whole hell of a lot squishier this time around than in the first game. Sure, the first Witcher had plenty of moments where getting overwhelmed could happen in the blink of an eye and Geralt would turn into fresh meat, but Witcher 2 makes every sword fight feel like an exercise in dodging just to stay alive. Maybe I wasn’t playing with enough patience, but it felt like I spent more time rolling and running to regain health than I did connecting with satisfying blows. Sometimes, quicktime events pop up during major boss encounters, which are devastatingly difficult in needless ways. Just like in the first game, Witcher 2 will absolutely dial up the volume on the difficulty knob without warning and around an unseen corner, to an extent where I found myself pained by exhaustion and anger at yet another GAME OVER scene. This is compounded by the strenuous camera, which is awkward at best in outdoors environments, frustratingly awful in close quarters hallways. Making things even worse is the game’s departure from the previous healing methods in The Witcher: where potions could be downed on the fly, and food eaten to regain mild portions of health, now the only way to heal is potions while meditating, or simply by meditating. Without the ability to heal in the middle of combat the thoroughly aggressive enemies will stymie even seasoned players as they watch their health bar helpless disappear with no respite.

Graphically speaking, this is leaps and bounds better than the original. High-detail, crisp textures, far draw distances, I very rarely had any stuttering or framerate issues. At worst, there was minor pop-in and fade in, some seams showing where textures were laid out, and jittery models here and there. Also, motion blur and bloom were turned on by default. Never fun. It was an absolute job to take in the world on hand, with the variety of monsters and humanoid characters to encounter, lovingly rendered with tons of color and flair. Outside of the story, this is where the game truly shines. Before there had been low-res models being reused left and right, but here nearly every character model (outside of factory-line soldiers) feels unique enough to recognize in and out of combat. It’s really a fucking wonder to behold. It felt the same as the graphical leap between Uncharted and Uncharted 2, with nearly an overwhelming amount of detail in the world to take in, dizzingly put together in a way that is breathing and living.

That said, is the game actually an improvement over the first title? Well, yes and no. Graphically, interactively, yes, to an extent. The branching narrative is bold, but feels like there is so much you’re missing out on once you’ve chosen a particular path. For example, there’s a dragon that exists in the game, and its origins are shrouded in mystery. I only discovered them based on a trophy I got at the end of the game, which felt like a huge cheat to learn that way. If the game had told me something about the dragon’s nature, even down the path I took which actively led me away from the dragon, then I wouldn’t have felt disappointed, but it didn’t. I learned the answer through a trophy. And in many ways, while this game does things better than the first game, it’s only to slight degrees, and while I do want to go back and play this again, it’s difficult to do so after a somewhat disappointing first run. Geralt’s story was excellent, and kept me on the edge of my seat whenever it came around, but everything else that happened felt largely disconnected from what was driving Geralt this time around, and ultimately only served as setup for the third game in the series. Again, perhaps that’s the point: perhaps Geralt will have to face the weight of his decisions, that which defines the world at large whilst he maintains a selfish lean towards his personal goals. Geralt of Rivia both is and is not the most important person in this story -- he is but one man who is forging a path towards his wants and needs, but maybe he’s crumbling kingdoms along the way, intentionally or no. While I’ve heard nothing but Game Of The Year praise for The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt, I’m keeping my expectations tempered based on this sequel, which is fun and daunting and clever, but the drawbacks are hefty, saved only by the draw of the lead character and the living story itself.

Final Score: 7.5/10

#the witcher #the witcher 2 #assassins of kings #cd projekt red #andrzej sapkowski #geralt of rivia #triss merigold #yennefer of vengerberg #dandelion #zoltan chivay #ck burch #review #rubyranger #steam #enhanced edition #long post #ranger report

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heechulhamster · 5 years

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The Truth You Can’t Hide V - Junmyeon

KIM JUNMYEON (SUHO) x Fem Reader

Chapter 1 [The Truth You Can’t Hide MASTERLIST]

1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 ongoing

You did it so well for six years. You’ve hid your son from the biggest threat of his life. But one mishap led to the biggest secret in your life being face to face with the man you’ve kept him away from all these years - his father.

Mafia!AU, Angst.

The hands of your wristwatch told you that it was already a quarter to nine in the evening when you stepped outside your office building. Even the other businesses who have their shifts end later than yours already emptied their hallways and respective floors. Yet a sigh of relief escaped your lips as Atty. Goo said he will take the case head on, leaving less paperwork for you to study. The past weeks were gruelling for you yet it gave you this sense of pride and accomplishment - to be actually one of the people who’s working details in a case despite your lack of a law degree.

Having Jaejin be supervised by someone else gave you the opportunity and chase back your passion. The past years marked you underperforming, in your own standards. The nights where you wished you could focus on work was undoubtedly taken by time for your son. Not that you were complaining, you love your son with all your heart and would reach the moon and skies for him. But it’s always nice to have an identity other than that of just being a mom. To not have life dwarf your dreams and ambitions. Because one day, Jaejin will grow up, and at the current waters your life is treading, you’ll grow old alone by then.

The click and clatter of your dreadful office heels echoed throughout the desolate lobby, one hallway only lit as the maintenance mopped the floor. A familiar sight to you for the past few weeks flooded by long hours of work and ton shit of paperwork. It was a relief that Junmyeon easily had a say on his own time, being the chairman of his own company - he had plenty of time to sub in looking after Jaejin. And if he wasn’t there, the househelp in Junmyeon’s turf have already gained your trust.

Beyond the transparent automatic doors of the building, you saw a familiar silhouette. White dress shirt tucked neatly in his black slacks, posture aligned in a way too perfect that makes him elegantly charismatic. His back faced you, yet you still know it’s him. What was he doing here in this hour?

“Atty. Zhang?” You called out once you stepped out of the building, his face quickly turning to yours as he held on his phone.

“Atty. Zhang? So we’re back to formalities now?” He asked with a slight chuckle, his eyes brightening in an instant as if the fireflies lit his eyes.

“I mean, we’re still technically at work…” You answered, embarrassed at his implication. But the fact still stands that after the awkward encounter between the two of you and Junmyeon last Friday, you two didn’t get to talk.

“But..” Yixing quickly flashed a peek on his wristwatch “It’s over 2 hours past work hours. So…”

“Yeah, speaking of, why are you still here?” You asked him in return.

“Well, I was waiting for someone to come out. I didn’t actually plan to wait for two hours but I forgot she tends to be a bit of a workaholic.” His right hand scratched the back of his neck as he laughs off the end of the sentence.

“What? I’m sorry I didn’t know.”

“No it’s not like I told you I’ll be here.” The atmosphere grew silent in the sheer awkwardness of the conversation. “So, drive thru dinner?”

The both of you were silently munching down on fast food burger and a huge cup of cola in the car parked in a lot near Junmyeon’s village. Your feet now up in the seat as you sat cross legged and him on the driver’s seat, the scarce lighting of the nearby lamp post the sole source of luminance for the both of you. It was such a juvenile experience, one that teenagers experience with their highschool love lives yet it was a breath of fresh air from your series of 7 years of hard life.

“How about you? I’ve been talking and talking here for a while now and you just laugh.” He remarked as he crumpled the wrapping paper of his now non-existent burger. Yixing was a delight to be with, no trace of dead air between the both of you and you just clicked together. He could make you laugh even with the story of his secretary who stapled the case files with the wrong paging, so Yixing ended up reading a story where the victim was suddenly alive again on the 5th page.

“Sorry, it’s just that something still bothers me.” You answered with a sigh.

“Hit me up with it, I’m listening.” Yixing responded with utmost sincerity as he threw the crumpled paper in the paperbag at the backseat.

“About last time, what was that with you and Junmyeon?” You asked, pertaining to the apparent history between the two of them. You didn’t have time to ask either of them regarding that matter, as tonight marks the first time you talk to Yixing after the incident, and Junmyeon has been out of your sight for most of the weekend. “What is this history between you two?”

“I’m surprised that he hasn’t told you about it yet.” He said with a humorless chuckle.

“Haven’t had the opportunity to talk to him either.”

“Well, you should know that there’s two sides to a story. And you should ask him first.” Yixing exclaimed as his intentful eyes pierced yours.

“Why can’t you tell me your side, then?”

“I prefer you hear him first, then I should tell you my side.” He said, which only earned a raise of an eyebrow in confusion from you. “So then I’ll be the last word you’ll hear, and I’ll correct whatever he says.”

“So you’re telling me you’re the one who will be right?” You asked, your forehead wrinkling in the bare oddity of your situation.

“Well, that’s your call and your judgement.” He answered, straightening his posture at his seat as he buckled his seatbelt again. “He’s the father of your son, I’m just your coworker that you went out on a date with. I’m just a lawyer, and he’s…” Yixing trailed off at the end of his sentence, looking at the road beyond the barriers of the car windshield. “It’s getting late, I should drive you home.”

He was silent the rest of your ride home, a disposition that you unconsciously mimicked. Your mind overdriving on the subtle suggestion of Yixing’s words of lack thereof earlier when it came to Junmyeon’s line of work. Could it be possible that he knows?

“You could drop me off here, I’ll just walk home. I don’t want you to have another unwarranted encounter with him if it makes you uncomfortable.” You blurted out as he drove along Junmyeon’s street.

“I didn’t wait for you for two hours to drop you off at a street. I don’t mind him, no worries at all.” He answered as he kept on driving.

“Thanks for the night, Yixing.” You said with a sincere smile on your face as Yixing stopped his car in front of the staircase leading to the mansion’s door.

“My pleasure. But if I could ask…” Yixing replied to which you responded a hum of approval. “Is this.. Whatever we started with us, still a thing?” He asked, his index finger swaying to point the two of you.

“Of course.” You answered with a happy grin on your face.

“Great!” He said with a deep breath as if he was holding his air for a while in nervousness. “Anyway, I have something for Jaejin.” Yixing exclaimed excitedly as he reached for a blue gift wrapped medium sized box in the backseat. “I’m not sure what he liked so I went for the standard toys for boys, a robot. Reckon he’ll like it?”

“He absolutely would, thank you.” You answered endearingly, taking the cue to make your graceful exit out of his car not until Yixing spoke again.

“We kind of left an unfinished business the last time, mind if we resume it now?” His tone was suddenly low and serious, your forehead knotted in confusion - quite not getting whatever he meant. It was only until he slowly rose from his seat that you caught his statement.

Slowly, Yixing’s face inches to yours. Nothing but the deep breaths coming from the both of you was audible inside his Audi, the space suddenly too small for the both of you. His breathing that used to just be sensed by your ears are now perceived by your cheeks, his lips now close enough as you still look intently in his eyes. Your heart started pounding in your throat, this wonderful feeling that you were deprived of for the past few years.

Your lips now parted very slightly in anticipation, as his slowly landed on yours. It was chaste - almost painfully so. Yet the butterflies in your stomach swarmed, tumbled, and thrived. Yixing’s lips just sat on yours, and you lingered at the soft feeling. A few seconds passed before he detached your connection, swiftly returning to his seat.

“Goodnight?” He suddenly spoke while you still sat through the aftermath.

“Goodnight.” You finally mustered to reply as you exited his car.

You felt giddy, too unbelievably excited as you walked up the stairs and into the living room. Yixing’s gift for Jaejin clasped on your left arm as the blush that graced your cheeks have still yet to die down. You find it childish, really. To be affected at the most chaste kiss this way despite the fact that you’re already 29 and a toddler.

“So you’re still going out with him, I see.” A sudden voice spoke from your left, and you turned to see Junmyeon emerging from the dining area. Looking as if he also just came home from his not so reputable work. “Why?”

“What? Why wouldn’t I? He’s nice, smart, what’s not to like?” You answered nonchalantly as you sat on the wide leather sofa and settled your bag and the gift on your side.

“Because he’s Zhang Yixing.” He answered as he slowly made his way on the leather seat opposite yours and he just stood behind it. “Are you really sure that he likes you?”

“What is this about Junmyeon? When I first told you that I’m dating again you’re all supportive and now you’ll ask that?” Your voice suddenly raised on him.

“I would’ve been supportive had it not been him. I just don’t believe that-” You blatantly cut him off.

“You can’t believe what? That someone like him would still be interested in me even if I had a child?” If you were to be honest, this statement is just a product of the self-criticism that was a result of your previous romantic endeavours. Like a dagger that was lodged tightly on a tree trunk, the fear was hard to dissolve. That maybe all the men you’d like would eventually bail out on you for having a son.

“You really just would bring your new boyfriend here, in my house - where our son stays with us? What should I feel with that?” He suddenly blurted out, frustration emanating from his way of speaking.

“Jun, you’re the one who left me with no choice but to stay here. You threatened me to live here. And now I couldn’t live my life? It’s not like I invited him to dinner or fucked him in your room, didn’t I? The last time I checked you brought a girl you couldn’t even put a name on, even if there’s a possibility that your son would see him. And now I’m wrong?” You snapped in annoyance of his intrusion in your life.

“I have no issue of you doing whatever you want in your life. I’d wish you nothing else but happiness but can it please just not be him?” He asked you, and you were taken aback by the growing concern in his face.

“Tell me why.” You said, your heightened emotions slowly dying down. “What the hell is this damn history between the two of you that’s is such an issue.”

He finally walked around the leather seat and sat in front of you, resting his elbows on his knees as he looked at you sincerely in the eye.

“Yixing..” Junmyeon started with a sigh. “He used to be one of the prosecutors who tried to jail my Dad when a little slip up in the shippings happened. It was the very few months before he died, he was already weakening yet he still had to attend these damned hearings because one of his men ratted him out to the police. All for the reason that he didn’t agree to give him millions that he asked for in exchange of the blackmail he sent us.”

You sat quietly, trying to digest the revelation he just unfolded in front of you. “So because of this, I couldn’t date him? Because of this shit of a business that you’ve got I have to hold my life again?”

“It’s not just that. Yixing was one of the most aggressive lawyers in the case. Doing anything and everything just to not taint his record of the cases he won. He would resort to anything when it comes to getting more and more evidence.” He said as he clasped his hands together, a soft exasperated sigh coming out of his lips as he reminisced.

“So you want me to stay away from him to protect you?” You asked.

“No, not me. Jaejin.” Junmyeon answered almost instantaneously, not a trace of dishonesty evident in his face nor his voice. “If he knows that Jaejin is my son, whatever happens to me will affect Jaejin too.”

That night, you tossed and turned in your bed to no avail. It was unsettling, the bed itself was unsettling. The discomfort reeks by the fact that it was Junmyeon’s, that the money used to buy such indulgently luxurious bed came from an illicit transaction. Your body sunk on the material perfectly, and the thread count on each linen was smooth to touch. A disconcerting thought that everything in this house that can be perceived by your senses would remind you why your child is in constant danger. How his life has already been written to sedition, all because of his bloodline.

Another ghost that plagued your mind was Yixing’s questionable intention. Was the reason behind his unbotheredness on the fact that you’re a mother is due to the fact that he’s well aware of it? Only using you as a tool on a game that he plays to win, and one that you know he’s highly competitive in?

“Mama, can I ride the roller coaster? Please?” Jaejin tugged at your hand that he never let go of ever since you entered the amusement park. The utter amazement was overflowing in his innocent eyes as you entered the huge theme park. And you were keen enough to notice how Junmyeon focused on him, cherishing every wonderful moment with his son.

“Can you already ride a roller coaster? I don’t think they’ll let you in.” You said with worry in your voice.

“We can ride the smaller one, Jin.” Junmyeon suddenly proposed enthusiastically to his son. “Your mom wouldn’t ride it, she’s scared of roller coasters. So Uncle Jun can accompany you?”

“Mama you’re scared of roller coasters?” Jaejin looked up at you from Junmyeon that’s sat in front of him.

“I’m not scared of roller coasters, I just don’t like it.” You answered defensively.

“So you’d ride it with us?” Junmyeon asked teasingly.

“There’s only two people who could sit next to each other, you two can go.” You answered, not dumb enough to fall into Junmyeon’s trap of getting you tied down in a fast death machine. He knows that you’ll scream like an idiot even before the ride starts, and you wouldn’t give him the delight of laughing at a similar scenario once again.

“Okay, Jaejin. I guess it’s just the two of us. Your mom’s too much of a scaredy cat to ride a roller coaster.” He laughed in a gale of teasing merriment as he tugged Jaejin towards the lines of the said ride.

And you just let it slide, let Junmyeon experience being with Jaejin - just the two of them, even for a while. To let him enjoy the wondrous feeling of the unfiltered laughter and the sudden resurgence of happiness that Jaejin causes you. You want him to experience these things that you’ve barred him from experiencing. And one day, maybe Jaejin will thank you for letting him experience this much with his father. Or maybe he wouldn’t keep as much grief towards you lying to him if he finds out that you still let him live and enjoy his childhood with Junmyeon.

You were barely even surprised that Jaejin asked Junmyeon, and not you, for a day at the amusement park. They had such undeniable connection, something that can only be explained by the same blood running through their veins. You tried to deny at first how much Jaejin resembles Junmyeon. But the more you see them in one frame, the more that it shows. Even the way they laugh, the way the ends of their eyes wrinkle into three folds while doing so - all too similar, all too same.

“Mama, can we have that funny drawing again?” Jaejin asked, pertaining to the old man doing caricatures on the walkways. He was just done doing a work of a child that he turned into a princess using his charcoal pencil on a sketch pad. The smile of the young girl was beaming as she saw herself interpreted in such way.

“But we already have one, remember?” You told him, pertaining to that caricature drawing that you got when still in Los Angeles.

“But that’s just us, I want one with Uncle Jun too. Please?” Jaejin used his adorable glassy eyes that he knows too well you couldn’t say no to. You looked at Junmyeon, who easy to say sports similar pleading eyes, although a bit less adorable you must say.

“Okay, let’s get one with Uncle Jun.” You said with an assuring smile towards Junmyeon, and he shot a thankful one back at you.

The man was eager to direct you on what poses to do, seating you on a bench across his easel and art materials. The two accompanying you wearing their brightest smiles and most cheerful giggles you’ve heard them give off. Each making funny faces at the other when the artist was looking away, and you were just a spectator to the two.

“Here you go, wonderful family!” The man exclaimed as he carefully tore the page from his pad and gave it to Junmyeon who then reached for payment. Jaejin quickly stood up and peeked at the page, almost too excitedly.

“Look mama, we look like the Incredibles!” Jaejin enthusiastically showed you the page, and he was indeed correct. The three of your faces drawn over comically tiny bodies clad in the regalia of the said superhero movie.

“I’m Dash, you’re Mrs. Incredible with stretchy arms, mama! And Uncle Jun is Mr. Incredibles with the super strength! We look like a family!” Jaejin squealed, even jumping up and down as his hands held on tight in the caricature. His little fingers almost crumply the edges.

And you were only able to shoot a look at Junmyeon, who already has is eyes trained on yours. Well aware of the thought in mind of each other, one resounding word that echoed through the chambers of your mind and past your heart, family. Even Jaejin wants the three of you to be officially, and wholly a family.

You sat on the corner of his bed as you tucked him in, his body already sinking comfortably in his bed as this was a long day for Jaejin. You already went over the usual ceremonies before he can fall asleep, your fingers lightly brushing over his forehead. The only difference is that Junmyeon sat on the other side of the bed as he was the one who carried Jaejin to his room. And that the latter wouldn’t let go of Junmyeon’s hand ever since the roller coaster ride. The caricature the child so loved was laid on his bedside table as per his request.

“Mama, thank you for this day.” Jaejin said, his voice sleepy and soft as his eyes started to close.

“You don’t need to thank me, it was all Uncle Jun.” You replied with a soft smile, and nodding to Junmyeon in front of you with a silent gratitude too.

Jaejin turned his head to the man beside him, “Thank you Uncle Jun.” To which he replied a hum and a smile too, encouraging the child to doze off.

“I really wish you’re my dad.”

Your gaze quickly shifted from Jaejin to Junmyeon, and you could see how his lips slowly parted in a sudden indescribable shock. He looked as if his world slowed its motion, and yours did too. You could almost feel how surreal it is for him to hear those words from his son. Only when Jaejin spoke again did the two of you regain your senses.

“Mama, can Uncle Jun be my Dad?” He asked you, nothing but a sheer innocent and intended plea.

Your hand slowly descended from his forehead to his cheeks, your thumb softly caressing the skin of his plump face. “He is, Jaejin. He is.” Was all you were able to say - words that were still too vague for his age. Because how would you say that his father is the man he’s been with for the past months?

“Goodnight, Dad. I love you.” Jaejin softly spoke as he slowly drifted off into his dreams.

Junmyeon, still at a loss of words yet obviously his hurrying thoughts clamored for utterance lowered his face as he planted a kiss on Jaejin’s forehead. “I love you too, Jaejin.”

No word was spoken between the two of you as you made your way out of Jaejin’s room. Stuck between having no appropriate words for what just transpired and having too much to say. You’re well aware that he’s still processing the situation, too shocked and joyful from being finally called what he’s supposed to be.

The two of you silently closed his door, and only then did you feel a pair of arms envelope you. His face sinking in the crevice of your neck as you felt the tears coming from his eyes. You let Junmyeon ride it through, the surge of his emotions. You felt incredibly happy for him too, yet guilty at the same time. He didn’t have to wait for years to hear his own son call him dad, yet you did what you thought and knew to be right.

“He just…” He spoke, muffled by the skin of your shoulder that his lips were against. Your hand patted his back softly, wordlessly assuring him of your presence. “He just called me Dad.” It was almost comical, yet you understand how much it could mean to him.

“Yeah, he just did. And Jaejin decided it on his own, he just felt that you’re his father you know?” You lightly chuckled, trying to lighten up the mood. “Oh come on, Jun. You should be happy, not crying! Let’s get you some water.”

You settled on the kitchen, as he drank water in silence. His eyes trailed off to other parts of the universe unseen as he tries to digest what happened.

“You’re in deep thought, Jun.” You spoke, bringing him back to his senses.

“Oh, yeah. I’m just really happy. Extremely.” He said, with his mind still obviously trailing off the universe. “I just realized how long I waited to hear that from him, and now that it’s here, it doesn’t even feel real.” You just nodded in agreement, letting him express his feelings and thoughts.

“But somehow, hearing that just made me wish even more that I didn’t stupidly leave that folder on that desk that night. Then maybe I didn’t have to wait that long.” Junmyeon monologued as he stared at the glass he held.

“Why?” You asked, why would he even suddenly bring back the past? “So then you would lie to me about whatever you’re doing?” You laughed, implicating that it was a joke to be laughed at.

“No.” He said, setting down the glass at the kitchen counter and he made his way on the seat in front of you at the kitchen island. “I didn’t need to lie because I wouldn’t have accepted this shithole I’m in had you not left me.”

“Come on, as if that’s even possible, Jun.” You shook your head in disbelief.

“I had a plan.” He started off, “When dad was starting to show signs of illness, I knew that he’ll want me to takeover whatever he leaves. The shipping line and this damned syndicate and mafia that he holds. I didn’t want the latter, but I know someone who did. He wants it so much.”

You raised your eyebrow in confusion.

“You know Uncle Minsik right? Sehun’s father? He was my dad’s sister’s husband?” You nodded in acknowledgement. “He wanted the business, so much. Sometimes I believe that the reason he married Sehun’s mom was for the family business. He always told me that he could take care of the illegal shippings had I not wanted to do so. They already have this trucking business across the country that would further strengthen their connections. But when you left, I had no reason to disobey what my father wished for anymore. So I just sucked it up and did it in his memory.”

And the tables have turned and you're the one who’s speechless. You just stared at his face, scanning it of any telltale signs of lying but it was bare and straightforward.

“If I didn’t leave that folder, this wouldn’t have been the first time Jaejin would call me Dad. I wouldn’t have lost the time I could’ve spent with him..” Junmyeon’s eyes pierced into yours, his hazelnut brown eyes intently communicating through your soul. “I wouldn’t have lost you.”

It was already eight in the evening when Junmyeon left the comforts of his own home and hopped on his Bentley. The maps on his phone set on a location just informed by Jaehyun, one of his most trusted men.

He knew you wouldn’t be able to do such confrontation, as your rightful side would always prevail and try to see the better side of anyone. Junmyeon knew that if you were the one to ask Yixing, you would analyze real conspicuously and decode if he’s saying the truth. Weighing the pros and the cons - that was you’re best at. And he knew that Yixing would be cunning enough to make you believe him.

He knew how much grief Yixing has in him, and it was a mutual sentiment.

Junmyeon hated how his weakening father had to face trial. Yes, he was liable for all of these crimes, but which son could stand his father in jail? Yixing was the youngest prosecutor at the time, he wanted so much to prove. He wanted to win the case to an extent that he not-so-sneakily tried to send a female colleague to “befriend” Junmyeon in order to extort information from him. Yixing had the right goal, but not the right pathways on achieving it.

Quid pro quo, indeed - if he tried to do this the wrong way, Junmyeon could do worse. Sending a couple of private investigator to trace his roots and whatever there is to know regarding the lawyer. And the search was sure fruitful in its objective.

“I know why you’re here Atty. Zhang.” Junmyeon spoke in the dark bar that they met in clandestine that night.

“Of course you would, you instructed your men to drag me here.” The lawyer answered sarcastically.

“No, I didn’t mean that. I meant here, in my country - trying to prove what you couldn’t prove in your homeland.” Junmyeon replied with a satisfied grin.

Junmyeon knew that Yixing’s influential and rich family paid his university to hide the fact that he cheated on an exam. In an exchange that he wouldn’t be accepted in the institution once more, nor would he ever be able to get an endorsement letter to transfer to another one. So he ended up here, in a land foreign to his own, to continue and pursue his studies. The fact stands that Yixing wasn’t even failing, he just wanted to be the top of his class. An overachiever, most would say.

Yixing kept his dirty tactics off the case afterwards, his colleague long gone from Junmyeon’s sight. An exchange deal was eventually agreed between the both of them - let the case run cold, and the Korean government wouldn’t hear about his dark past, and he wouldn’t lose his license due to an iniquitous history.

It’s easy for Junmyeon to say that his fear of being behind bars is what fueled him to go out in the night to confront Yixing once more. That it’s not the fact that he tried to kiss you in his own home. Not the fact that you let him kiss you in front of his own home. And not due to the smile and undeniable blush that tinted your cheeks after he dropped you off - no it wasn’t that. You two agreed to be civil and friends, right? He’s just protecting his name, the mother of his child, and his friend.

Junmyeon knocked exactly three times on Yixing’s door, fists balled hard and unwavering. His door opened and he didn’t even gave a room for pleasantries or courtesy as he already spoke the question that’s been plaguing his mind.

“What do you want from her?”

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