#actually mentally ill too

[cistematicchaos]

I don’t want to sound mean or some shit when talking about how exercise shouldn’t be randomly suggested to disabled people period but I also want it to be clear I’m not just saying that shit in a fit of anger. 

Both my sister and brother were almost killed because doctors would rather push them to keep exercising on the regular than figure out what the hell was going on with their health. I have numerous family members who’ve died because no one gave a shit about their health as long as they keep up “regular” things like exercise. I was guilted into exercising to “manage” my “issues” until I couldn’t even walk and then I was guilted some more. I didn’t even know I had asthma until I was seventeen and someone told me that light running wasn’t supposed to be horribly painful and restrict your breathing. And that’s only a nice chunk of my reasons! 

Like, it’s dangerous, period. I don’t care if we’re talking about mental health or physical health, telling people to exercise when you don’t even know what they’re dealing with, telling people that exercising is The Way to manage their disabilities, telling people they need to exercise or else “of course you feel bad!” is dangerous. I’m not trying to be dramatic but I’m not lying when I say it kills us. It hurts us. Exercise isn’t inherently healthy and even if it was, some of us CANNOT meet your standards of health! Just. Listen to us. Please.

#disability #actually disabled #cripple life #actually mentally ill too #actually neurodivergent as well #i will never meet the standard of health an #i just #mmhhh #someone say this makes sense please #chronic illness #chronic disabilities #asthma #chaos is speaking #ableism #death mention

[inkskinned]

they want to talk about mental illness and acceptance and how everyone is a little ocd it's cute and quirky and their "intrusive thoughts" are about cutting their hair off and you say yours are about taking a razorblade to your eye and they say ew can you not and everyone is a little adhd sometimes! except if you're late it's a personality flaw and it's because you are careless and cruel (and someone else with adhd mentions they can be on time, so why can't you?) and it's not an eating disorder if it's girl dinner! it's not mania if it's girl math! what do you mean you blew all of your savings on nonrefundable plane tickets for a plane you didn't even end up taking. what do you mean that you are afraid of eating. get over it. they roll their little lips up into a sneer. can you not, like, trauma dump?

they love it on them they like to wear pieces of your suffering like jewels so that it hangs off their tongue in rapiers. they are allowed to arm-chair diagnose and cherrypick their poisons but you can't ever miss too many showers because that's, like, "fuckken gross?" so anyone mean is a narcissist. so anyone with visual tics is clearly faking it and is so cringe. but they get to scream and hit customer service employees because well, i got overwhelmed.

you keep seeing these posts about how people pleasers are "inherently manipulative" and how it's totally unfair behavior. but you are a people pleaser, you have an ingrained fawn response. in the comments, you have typed and deleted the words just because it is technically true does not make it an empathetic or kind reading of the reaction about one million times. it is technically accurate, after all. you think of catholic guilt, how sometimes you feel bad when doing a good deed because the sense of pride you get from acting kind - that pride is a sin. the word "manipulation" is not without bias or stigma attached to it. many people with the fawn response are direct victims of someone who was malignantly manipulative. calling the victims manipulative too is an unfair and unkind reading of the situation. it would be better and more empathetic to say it is safety-seeking or connection-seeking behavior. yes, it can be toxic. no, in general it is not intended to be toxic. there is no reason to make mentally ill people feel worse for what we undergo.

you type why is everyone so quick to turn on someone showing clear signs of trauma but you already know the fucking answer, so what's the point of bothering. you kind of hate those this is what anxiety looks like! infographics because at this point you're so good at white-knuckling through a severe panic attack that people just think you're stoic. even people who know the situation sometimes comment you just don't seem depressed. and you're not a 9 year old white kid so there's no way you're on the spectrum, you're not obsessed with trains and you were never a good mathematician. okay then.

mental illness is trending. in 2012 tumblr said don't romanticize our symptoms but to be fair tiktok didn't exist yet. there's these series of videos where someone pretends to be "the most boring person on earth" and is just being a normal fucking person, which makes your skin crawl, because that probably means you are boring. your friend reads aloud a profile from tinder - no depressed bitches i fucking hate that mental illness crap. your father says that medication never actually works.

you still haven't told your grandmother that you're in therapy. despite everything (and the fact it's helping): you just don't want her to see you differently.

#writeblr #warm up #to be clear let me state again: i think you should id however you fucking want if it helps you seek peace #but there is a HUGE difference between being like '.... im undiagnosed but i think i might be X' #and a person who is like ''omg my intrusive thoughts made me buy a birkin!!!'' #babe mine made me throw up bc they disgusted me so much <3 #mine made me hurt myself evenly. even when i wanted to stop. i have had to put my hand on the stove MULTIPLE TIMES #and again i'd rather have 10000 people get help for something they don't need help for #than have 1 kid NOT get help #but there has GOTTTTT to be a middle ground here #bc at this point it isn't ''raising awareness'' #it's . fucking misinformation. and ''what this picture says about you!!!!!'' #& yes! im mostly talkin about ppl who are actually disgusted and offended by signs of mental illness #but use it to defend THEIR actions #like babe you hate when kids start yelling in the walmart? but you YOuRSELF can yell? #you are depressed so it's fine you were cruel to your spouse? #but if your spouse spends too much time in bed she's a lazy fuck? #your partner needs to do everything for you bc of your history in trauma? but when SHE has needs she's being clingy and gross? #HUGE difference here between whom i think most of my followers are btw. like #all it takes is fucking anyyyy empathy or kindness . like. #anyway it's hard to explain im hoping we all know the person im talking about lol

[k3t4min5]

i got a thing for pushing people away when im at my lowest

#mentally fucked #venting #actually mentally ill #i hate it here #bpd thoughts #too fucking much #die #depressing shit #love #i hate him #missing you #i miss him #pushing people away #at my lowest #worse than usual #at my worst #deppresing thoughts #kinda depressing #tw depressing stuff #sorry for being depressing #tw depressing thoughts

[hamoodmood]

#too real #real #my life lately #it's getting worse #relatable #shitposting #shitpost #relatable memes #shizoposting #girlblogging #girlblogger #gaslight gatekeep girlboss #girly things #female hysteria #whisper girl #femcel #female manipulator #manic pixie dream girl #bpd problems #bpd vent #actually bpd #bpd thoughts #actually borderline #actually mentally ill #mental illness #just girly things #tw depressing stuff #tw depressive #depressing memes #self deprecating humor

[dollkisses05]

Girls with daddy issues are the best gfs btw

#lena writes #girlblogging #hell is a teenage girl #gatekeep gaslight girlboss #this is what makes us girls #just girly things #girly tumblr #daddy issues #toxic dad #older man younger woman #older men <3 #oldermen #obviously doctor you've never been a 13 year old girl #i like older men #dilfism #older daddy #sullen girl #toxic bf #relateable #too real #text post #text #it’s getting bad again #girlhood #i miss him #female insanity #female hysteria #alana champion #actually mentally ill #older guys

[jiiyawns]

secret hedgehog gift for @fernsnailz where i was so ambitious i needed help from @frostios on colors !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! happy holidays !!!

bonus alternate comp and origin of omega chef hat

#sonic the hedgehog #shadow the hedgehog #e 123 omega #rouge the bat #team dark #struggles and mental illness aside im happy with this :) maybe one day i'll color it too just to feel 'finished' but sara's colors are #so GOOD that it like made me go wow !!!!!!!!!! this kinda rules actually !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! #sonic #sth #fanart #draw

[honeypleasejustkillme]

i’m too mentally ill for this shit (life)

#actually bpd #actually mentally ill #bpd #bpd fp #actually borderline #bpd vent #bpd shitposting #bpd mood #bpd problems #bpd favorite person #i’m too mentally ill for this thing called life #can’t do it anymore

[gayvampyr]

“queer spaces should be inclusive of people who don’t enjoy sex and who have “strange”, negative or repulsed relationships with sex” and “sex is an important aspect of lgbt community, history, and activism and queer people should be allowed and able to talk freely about sex without stigma or shame” are ideas that can and should coexist.

#‘queer people were banned from and shamed for having sex and that’s where a lot of our activism stemmed from’ and #‘not liking or having sex is considered abnormal and a mental illness and also needs to be destigmatized’ are concepts that not only can but #often do coalign #it’s esp important to consider that a lot of lgbt ppl who have a tricky and strained relationship with sex are like that because of trauma #which is very common for queer folks #it’s really not an ace-only thing #like i am sex repulsed but it’s very hard to discern if it’s because i’m asexual or if it’s the trauma. either way i deserve to have those #feelings and be included in lgbt spaces and discussions about sex and treated as just another queer person with a different experience #instead of being alienated because my feelings about sex don’t directly line up with yours #im so sick of people in this community trying to pit us against each other. as an ace lesbian that shit is so toxic and harmful #my relationship with sex is fluid. im sex-positive always‚ but i often find myself sex repulsed. im otherwise neutral about it but im sick #of people acting like it’s either you enjoy sex and have it frequently or you hate it and you shame everyone who has it like youre a puritan #and it’s often aphobes who bought into that ‘aces are puritanical celibate straights who want ppl who have gay sex to die or think they’re #‘dirty’ or some shit. and it was literally 90% crypto-aphobes pretending to be aces to get people to adopt that into their belief system #the same way crypto-t/rfs pretend to be trans women who want to prey on the ‘innocent women’ #and y’all will use those posts/screenshots as ‘evidence’ that whatever scapegoat you’ve selected is actually inherently bad/homophobic/ #misogynistic/etc and not even #acknowledge the giant hole in your logic cuz you’re too busy trying to find a scapegoat #it’s the same tactics and y’all fall for it every time #text post #like. lesbians are CONSTANTLY getting hounded and told that we’re broken or mentally i’ll for not showing interest in (having sex with) men #for the same reason asexuality is considered bad or wrong or weird #not showing interest in heterosexual relationships or sex is why this is so important #anyone that falls outside the scope of heterosexuality is part of this community whether you like it or not

[bleedingmushrooms]

If I didn't get attached easily life would be soooo much easier, I need a lobotomy

#borderline personality disorder #actually borderline #actually mentally ill #bpd #ventcore #actually bpd #bpd favorite person #bpd fp #bpd thoughts #mr 305 #mr worldwide #dale #i get attached too easily #kms kms kms #i should kms #real #real as hell

[fisheito]

Me: Everything i make is garbage i shouldn't even bother

The eiden in my head:

Me: Sorry eiden you're right my efforts have value

#any time i feel down about the act of creation #actually. any time i feel this way about... saying words in public too #when i'm typing up a comment anywhere on this site and the internal narration is constantly trying to stop me #with LOUD whispers of No one cares!! or even worse... people actively do not want to know ur thoughts!!! zip them fingerlips!!!!!! #during moments of struggle like this #i summon eiden like the powerful support assist he is #into my battle against myself #hey if he can fix kuya he can definitely fix me 😂 #he is a stellar therapist for the clan. so strong. how does he do it #a new coping mechanism!! next time you feel down about your work #imagine you're one of eiden's clan members #exhibiting Mental Illness #and he just gives u that empathetic loving look. with some weird combo of words that makes u feel infinitely better #love u eiden u damaged sweetheart ty for the cbt #eiden

[blueskittlesart]

Since you're asking for requests... Maybe Ran from Case Closed?

YEAHHHH if no one else got me i know my one follower who likes the same bad japanese detective show as me got me ‼️

#IMPECCABLE timing too since i literally started rereading the manga like a month ago. im on chapter 398 #which sounds like a lot but this shit is basically one piece in terms of length and plot insanity so #the amount of plot that i did not remember AT ALL is crazy to me but i KNOW i got further than this last time because there are still like #major characters missing from the story. which on chapter FOUR HUNDRED is insane but yk. theres 30 years worth of plot ig #anyway. wish me luck god willing im going to actually catch up this time #my little conan phone strap watching me draw this with that smug ass look on his face. im mentally ill #this show sucks btw don't watch it i just love detective shows

[cistematicchaos]

"You should be careful about becoming dependent on taking drugs." Girl 😭 you'd better be careful about being dependent on those kneecaps if u keep talking like that 😭😭 bc they are breakable 😐

#ableism #disability #cripple punk #but also mad punk too #disabled #chaos is speaking #actually disabled #chronic pain #chronic illness #actually mentally ill

[inkskinned]

there's a video on instagram of a man kicking his partner's door in. the top comment is (with over 4 thousand likes): "how about you tell us what you did to make him that angry?"

barring emergency, nobody should be kicking anybody's door in. many of us lived in houses where it was always, somehow, an emergency. there is a strange, almost hysterical calm that comes over you in that moment - everything feels muted, and you almost feel, however incongruently, like you should be laughing. you are living inside of "the emergency." oh my god, you think. i am now a fucking statistic.

there is another comment with 2.8 thousand likes: "if this was a woman doing it to a man, nobody would give a shit."

do people give a shit now, though?

barring emergency, the door should remain standing. the emergency should be panicked, desperate - "i'm coming in there to protect you." many of us know what it feels like when the emergency is instead "i'm coming in there to get you."

1.5k likes: "and yet you post this for notes. glad to see being the victim has become your whole personality."

hysteria is a word connected to womb, from greek. what you're experiencing is so senseless and inhumane that you (a rational creature) try to find any ground within what is irrational and cannot be explained. one of the most frustrating things about staying in bad situations is that we also lie to ourselves. we also ask ourselves - wow. what did i do?

women can be, and often are, also abusers. abuse is not gendered. abuse is not just a "straight person" problem. abuse does not have a face or figure or sexuality. you cannot pick an abuser out of a crowd. an abuser could be actually anybody.

and then so many people rally behind the man kicking the door in. here is something nobody should be doing, right? you want to ask every person that liked that first comment: do you ask this because you side with him? do you ask this because it helps you feel safe from this ever happening?

in some ways, you're weirdly sympathetic to the top comment, because it is the same logic you see frequently. the idea is that the average, normal, sane person doesn't just break down a door. doesn't just shoot up a school. doesn't stalk and kill women. doesn't threaten sexual assault. doesn't run over protesters. doesn't shoot an unarmed black person. doesn't scream at underpaid walmart employees. doesn't just "lose it". something had to have happened, right? because the default (white. straight. cis.) - that is someone who is always, you know. "sane."

(right?)

on a podcast, you hear a sane, normal, rational person. "if you piss me off, i'm going to need to hit something. sorry but i'm not apologizing. that's just who i am that's how it is." his voice almost sounds like he's laughing.

you think of the door, and how you were almost laughing behind it, too. ironically, every real emergency in your life has almost felt peaceful in comparison. fire, car accident, flash flooding - these felt quiet, covenant to you. you'd stood in all of them, feeling them pass over and up to your chin, never actually overwhelming.

but when the door was coming down, you had felt - is there a word for that? there has to be, a word, right.

surely one of us has figured out the word for that, i mean. it's such a large fucking statistic.

#spilled ink #writeblr #warm up #this is so disorganized #i just saw that video and the comments made me want to vomit #it's actually like. in the way it's funny that you got into a car crash and got the flu within the same 24 hours #it's like. #it's funny #because certain people will blame everything on mental illness #even being transgender. #they will not #however #at any point - even vaguely suggest that a man should maybe get therapy. #like. a guy busting down a door isn't a danger-to-himself-and-others #(you just pushed him too far). #but a young adult looking for top surgery should be institutionalized for even wanting to change their body.

[k3t4min5]

more scared of getting old than dying young

#venting #actually mentally ill #i hate it here #die #mentally fucked #i am scared #im dying #dying inside #dying young #feelings #alone with my thoughts #too fucking much #deppresing thoughts #kinda depressing #tw depressing thoughts #depressing shit

[hamoodmood]

#too real #real #abandonment issues #attachment issues #relatable #whisper girl #girlblogging #girlblogger #gaslight gatekeep girlboss #girly things #female hysteria #bpd thoughts #bpd problems #bpd #actually bpd #bpd vent #actually borderline #relationships #a blog for the heartbroken #actually mentally ill #depressing shit #sadcore #sadgirl #mentally drained #mentally unstable #girlhood #girl interrupted syndrome #overthinking #unlovable #one sided love

[percicosoftcore]

andrew graves is my beloved sex symbol, walking red flag of a man who’s got a sister complex and i cherish him for it but, SINCE WE’RE APPRECIATING NEMLEI’S WORK CAN WE PLEASE TALK MORE ABOUT ‘BECAUSE LIFE WITH ME IS SO DIZZYING AND INTOXICATING’ YULE FROM NO GOOD NOELLE?

#he’s so sick. nemlei knows how to create the hottest most mentally ill goth/emo guys and if this isn’t a superpower… #the first screenshot make me jump out of my seat when on my first playthrough. HOW COME YOU JUST SAY SHIT LIKE THAT #no good noelle #nemlei #the coffin of andy and leyley #andrew graves #i could talk more but actually i can’t! too sleep deprived!