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fallingdownhell · 3 months

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May I request Yae Miko, Dehya, Cyno and Childe getting defensive/angry/protective (whatever you see fit) about someone saying they deserve better then their s/o because they aren't in the best physical shape? (Be that being fat, disabled ect.)

Honestly? It felt so self indulgent writing some of this, especially Dehya's part, so thank you for requesting it<3 Also, since I'm writing about some conditions I'm not affected with, please let me know if I missrepresent any of it, and I'll immediately change it! Characters Included: Cyno; Dehya; Childe Content: gender neutral reader; established relationship; various conditions on reader: being deaf/overweight/in a wheelchair; mean comments being made by others; characters defending reader; does that count as comfort??; not proofread yet Word count: 1,6k words Enjoy<3

Cyno

being deaf was never the handicap to you as others would probably see it

of course, it was difficult, learning to interact with the world and the people around you when you could not hear any of it, but rather than seeing it as a hindrance, you saw it as a challenge, one that you were determined to overcome

now, as an adult, things were going pretty well for you. Most the people you often interact with know about your condition, so they tend to be more patient when conversing with you

growing up, you began learning sign language to communicate with the people around you, as well as reading their lips. Over the years, you got more and more fluent in the language, so this was working out pretty well for you

Cyno, upon first meeting you, was fascinated by the way you percieve and interact with the world

despite the fact that you were not able to hear anything at all, you were the most lively person he's ever met, always smiling and laughing at everything and everyone around you, always seeing the good

after first meeting you, he immediately went and started to learn sign language as well. He had this desire to be close to you and spend more time with you, and he thought, in order to better communicate with you, he should learn how to talk to you

Now, a few years later, you've been in a relationship with Cyno for quite some time, and he could honestly say, that he's never been happier in his life

you brighten each of his days, simply by existing within his proximity, your smile was contagious and he often found himself just staring at you, never getting tired of your beauty

however, sometimes, there tend to be voices that question the relationship you have. Mostly people who didn't know you all that well, asking Cyno how he could even be with someone who could not hear a word he said

While he did pity those people, he always jumped to defend you. You may not be able to hear, but that didn't mean you were any less than anyone else in this world. In his eyes, it's just another thing about you that made you unique

It was always like this. Whenever anyone was talking bad about you, or telling Cyno that he should find a better partner, he always defended you, claiming that there would never be someone better than you

and if those idiotic people still don't get it by the lovestruck way he talks about you and continue to pester him, Cyno can get annoyed very quickly, not hesitating to draw his weapon on them

he wouldn't actually fight them, but the possibility of it being there scared them enough to run with their tails between their legs

but, at the end of the day, he never tells you about those encounters he has, not wanting to bring down your mood with it. He'd much rather enjoy the stories you have to tell him each day when he comes home to you

Dehya

when people were thinking about Dehya, they thought of a strong, independent woman, beautiful, smart and capable of many things. They respected her, and many wished to become the person by her side

when rumors came about of Dehya having a partner, people began to talk among themselves, guessing on who it could possibly be and what they would look like

No doubt would someone like her only settle for a partner just as good looking, smart and strong as herself, right?

well.. let's just say, the day you and Dehya became public with your relationship was a very... tough one

People knew you as being one of the most trusted merchants of Caravan Ribat. And while they all agreed on you being a very likeable and easygoing person, many of them also made fun of you behind your back, for the simple fact of you being overweight

a fact that you had always struggled with since your childhood. You've tried a many great ways to loose weight, yet either nothing worked or only had very short lived success

eventually, you gave up hope and stopped trying, instead learning to love and accept yourself for who you are

And exactly that love you held for yourself is what drew Dehya to you in the first place, eventually falling in love with all of you. Sometimes, you yourself couldn't believe that she actually loved you, questioning how you got so lucky. But not like you were complaining about it

Still, the glances and whispers people threw your way when you were walking through the streets, hand in hand with Dehya, often brought you down, knowing exactly what they were talking about

but anytime that happened, Dehya jumped right in, telling those people off, yelling at them to mind their own damn business. And it always worked as they hurried away, afraid of her wrath coming their way

whenever this happened, she'd always comfort you afterwards, knowing that, despite everything, words like that still hurt and weighed down on you. She'd then always tell you how much she loved you, how beautiful you were to her, pointing out everything she loved about you. It always helped to brighten your mood again

then one day, it just so happened that while you were out on a date with Dehya, someone decided to be bold and walk up to Dehya, finally speaking out loud what everyone was thinking

"Dehya.. why exactly are you with them?", he would ask, voice timid and quiet, yet he just had to ask

"You got a problem with my choice in parner, huh?", Dehya spoke up, ready to defend you against the entire world if she had to. She stood up from her place, standing in front of the guy as it almost seemed like she got ready for a fist fight

"N-no! I just meant... they don't.. exactly... suit you..", the guy tried to argue, but realised that with every word, he was just more and more digging his own grave

at this point, Dehya was fed up. She did not care for any onlookers as she beat up the guy. Once he was on the ground and apologizing profusely to her, she let go of him, instead addressing the crowd that had gathered around them

"Okay, everyone listen up because I'm not gonna repeat myself after this! They are my parnter, and I do not care what any of you think or have to say about it. It's my choice and you all better shut up about it, or I'll beat you up just like I did this punk!", she yelled and pointed at the guy still on the ground, blood running from his nose and mouth. Pretty sure she made him loose a teeth or two

surprisingly, after this encounter, people stopped commenting behind your back, your days becoming much calmer and more enjoyable since than. And even if you might not agree with Dehya's actions, you couldn't deny that it did have a positive outcome

Childe

most people would suspect that a person as active in their day to day life as Childe, would want a parnter that is at least similar to them in that way

yet, when they find out that his significant other is actually disabled and in a wheelchair, they can't hide the surprised sounds and expression on their faces

they can't possibly imagine how a relationship like that would last very long, seeing as the two of you would be polar opposites

oh boy, would they be surprised to find out that you and Childe have been going strong for several years now. Sure, you were not able to walk and sometimes, in specific situations, dependent on him, but those are also the moments Childe loved, when he got to show his strength when lifting you up or doing something else for you

at first, you felt stupid for having to rely on him in those specific situations, since you always strived to be as independent as possible, despite your situation. Yet Childe always comforted you, telling you that it wasn't a weakness at all to ask for help every now and then. On the contrary, knowing when you need help can be a great strength. So, that's how you decided to see things from then on, and it did help you a lot

and even though you were bound to this chair, that did not stop the enjoyment you held towards life. You loved traveling around, exploring the world and expieriencing it first hand

it helped a lot that Childe got to travel around a lot thanks to his work, so you'd always ask to accompany him. Of course, there were times where he couldn't do so, but most of the time, he was happy to take you along and show you all the places he knows about, and even discovering new ones with you

whenever he couldn't take you along on his travels, he'd always come back with a tone of souvenirs for you, along with so many stories to tell you that never failed to grab your attention, wishing that you could have been there with him

overall a very good, very protective boyfriend

the first few times he heard people talking about the two of you behind your backs, he went over to them, drawing his weapons, ready to kill whoever dared talk bad about you in his presence

word spread around quickly and soon, no one dared even mutter a word about your relationship, in fear that the Harbinger might catch wind of it and came hunting after them, ready to take their lives

Childe did not mind that reputation at all. He was already known as a battlehungry maniac, and if it meant people left you alone, not having to worry about ill intended comments, than all the better. He can handle it

the most important thing to him is, and always will be, your well being

#genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #genshin x reader #genshin impact headcanons #genshin headcanons #genshin x reader headcanons #genshin impact x reader headcanons #cyno x reader #cyno x you #cyno headcanons #cyno x reader headcanons #dehya x reader #dehya x you #dehya headcanons #dehya x reader headcanons #childe x reader #childe x you #childe headcanons #childe x reader headcanons

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keshetchai · 5 months

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Do you ever just get obsessed with how cultural Christians (esp atheist or agnostic ones) often openly choose to maintain Santa Claus for their kids?

Like think about this with me:

A group of people who don't actively align themselves with religious life, religious institutions (churches) or other traditions, and may even be total atheists STILL sometimes choose to do Santa Claus for their children, because THEY had Santa Claus as children.

The parents give their child a folk demigod (lesser deity?) of outsized importance to children SPECIFICALLY, and teach them the demigod is definitely totally real. They maintain this active belief as long as possible through childhood. They may encourage and actively engage in this belief with their children moreso than anything else involving the religion it comes from (aside from perhaps, the easter bunny). They know Santa isn't real, does not exist, and is a fiction.

They know their children will learn this demigod is a lie. Subconsciously or consciously, the child then learns that Santa Claus is really only as real as the parent intention to make him real, and the child belief in that truth. The child grows up. Knows Santa is a fiction. And then they make Santa for their children too, because that's the only real thing about Santa — parents knowing it's a fiction and then passing it on anyways.

I just like...am deeply fascinated by this unique cultural training of accepting that the Santa deity isn't dead or anything so extreme, and even though he's made up, he is still extremely important and the fiction gets passed on while explicitly knowing and acting upon the fiction. Parents have to be Santa, they can't just encourage belief and sit back. No no, they must actively CREATE Santa's existence for the belief to work. And they do this willingly!

It's not that I think believing in a myth is unusual in any religion (like we don't need to believe hundreds of thousands of Israelites fled Egypt all at once to observe passover or even to think some Hebrews did flee Egypt and the legend developed from there, or w/e), so much as like, this is an incredibly obvious and well known one that every adult Knows 100% is Not Real, not even based on any kind of reality or possible actual legend, Santa doesn't have all those powers, he does not come to your house or get your wishlist (prayers).

No adult has a pure and genuine belief that Santa is a real being who visits and brings children gifts.

I just want to study everyone who actively is like "I don't believe in God or go to church but like, I'll obviously still do Santa for the kids, that's fun."

(Regina George voice: so you agree? Religion doesn't need to be grounded in imperial facts of science in order to provide substantial benefits to people, foster positive emotions and connections within communities, and for people to derive meaning from it? It doesn't matter if God is real, if you yourself make the benefits of God being real happen for yourself and others?")

#if youre an atheist who doesnt do santa this isnt about you so dont get worked up #santa claus is important religious training wheels for cultural christians #also i feel i should say this but im actually anti-modern santa claus because of capitalism and classism #but the love and parental lying isnt my problem lol

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howtofightwrite · 3 months

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hey! i wanted to ask if you know how medjays would fight in ancient egypt? or alternatively a warrior type person during that time? thank you!

So, this one of those, “short answer/long answer,” situations. The short is that the Medjays were archers.

The long answer is that it's a lot more complicated than that, in part because the term Medjay referred to entirely different concepts over the course of ancient history. Also, simply saying, “in ancient Egypt,” covers roughly three thousand years, and things did change a bit over that time. Fortunately, the Medjay only existed for over a thousand years. Which, doesn't actually help narrow it down that much.

The original meaning of the term referred to Nubian nomads. It's not completely clear (at least, to me) whether this actually referred to a specific tribe or community of nomads, or if the term was applied indiscriminately. The Nubian focus on archery is something that persisted into the 8th century AD.

The term, Medjay later came to refer to an order of guardian/protectors in Dynastic Egypt. It's a little unclear how much continuity existed between these two groups. During the Second Intermediate Period of Egypt, Medjay mercenaries were hired by princes in Thebes to help recover Egyptian territory that was being held by the Hyksos. After the Hyksos were expelled and the New Kingdom was formed, the Medjay were repurposed into a kind of proto-police force, tasked with keeping the peace.

Sometime after 1570BCE, they effectively became, Egypt's police. This meant that they investigating crimes, interrogating suspects, and prosecuting criminals in Egypt's judicial system. (Judges were appointed separately, and the concept of a defense attorney didn't seem to exist. But, witnesses could testify on behalf of the accused. The system was: Guilty until proven absolutely innocent.) You can probably dig into this more if you really want. These police kept the name Medjay, even after the organization incorporated non-Nubian members. (Worth noting, this was mostly for secular laws and crimes. There was a separate branch of the Medjay who were tasked with protecting holy sites, and enforcing religious laws.)

Interestingly, there's surviving tomb art that depicts Medjay using monkeys and dogs (not both, at the same time) to assist in detaining fleeing suspects.

It's likely that the Medjay mercenaries were using shields and spears (there's some surviving grave goods that depict contemporary military forces), and this was a pretty common form of infantry throughout most of human history. Later on, Egyptian fighters would have been using the kopesh. This is a distinctive, curved, bronze sword. They dated back to the third millennia, and while their origin isn't Egyptian, they became quite popular in Egypt roughly at the same time that the Medjay were transitioning over to becoming the New Kingdom's police force. It's also likely that the original mercenaries were experienced archers, and may have continued serving in that role during the formation of the New Kingdom.

The historical Medjay are a pretty fascinating group, when you actually go and look at the history, and as a result, their depiction in pop-culture becomes somewhat disappointing as a result. These really weren't ancient warriors, so much as cops in antiquity, which is pretty wild when you sit down and really look at them.

It's worth that before the Hyksos occupation of Egypt, the Egyptian military was technologically antiquated. The Hyksos introduced the compound bow, and chariot to Egypt (among other technological innovations.) This meant that warfare in Egypt before the Hyksos invasion, and after were dramatically different.

-Starke

This blog is supported through Patreon. Patrons get access to new posts three days early, and direct access to us through Discord. If you’re already a Patron, thank you. If you’d like to support us, please consider becoming a Patron.

#writing reference #writing advice #writing tips #how to fight write #starke answers #history

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flowery-laser-blasts · 6 months

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It's the year 2023 and so much has changed...

Kim Possible and Ron Stoppable-Possible, now in their mid-thirties, work alongside Global Justice with their own specialized team (including Wade, Felix, and Jim & Tim). As for Dr. Drakken and Shego... After helping prevent the invasion of the Warlordians, Dr. Drakken and Shego were pardoned from almost all of their prior crimes against the safety of the world and eventually became, in their own words, 'neutral'. At times, they even aid Team Possible with intel, after all; who knows more about how villains do than ex-villains?

Dr. Drakken started working on his own world-improving inventions because he realized that 'positive' recognition from the world feels better than being despised by everyone, and this way he can rub it even more into James Possible's face... Shego became an elite mercenary/hitwoman after tutoring the best of the best agents of Global Justice for 5 years -it was part of her 'community service'- She now works separately from everyone, but always comes back home before Drakken finishes making dinner.

One day, Dr. Drakken thought of a hypothesis: if television programs are just a glimpse into an alternative reality and aliens exist with their ultra-advanced technology, then who says that alternative timelines aren't real? "Maybe we could learn from that to improve ours!"

He worked tirelessly on trying to find out if alternative universes or timelines exist, maybe ones where he and Shego were always good and Possible and Stoppable were the baddies, imagine!

But then he found something...

Dr. Drakken found out that there was a timeline that lined up exactly with the one they were in, except something was drastically different. It was stuck in some kind of purgatory; stuck in place but also as if looping over and over again. Separate from everything surrounding it but at the same time trying to free itself from its slumbering state.

Drakken looked into it, fascinated that this timeline could co-exist with theirs but at the same time not. What changed? Then it hit him.

"Tempus Simia... that Monkey plan-- It actually happened!?" Dr. Drakken sometimes ruminated on the weird feelings he had on the day the trio, and Shego, decided to abruptly give up on that time-traveling plan. None of them ever said or mentioned anything about it to one another, especially Monkey Fist... he became different. Drakken wished he could ask him about what happened that day, but alas the man became a supernaturally petrified lawn ornament.

"Did Monkey Fist know something about that statue that we didn't? Did the plan work? Is that what that timeline is?" Drakken became ansty, he needed to know what happened. Not that he was going to return to being evil, no-no, this was purely scientific, and well- curiosity took the upper hand. Perhaps he was a fair ruler in this 'time capsule'.

After months and months of calculations and testing, he managed to do it; Drakken succeeded in making a portal device that could connect and stabilize the broken timeline to ours. Shego wasn't entirely sure about this plan but decided to stick around to ensure the man wouldn't end up killing himself and everyone on the planet in some freak accident.

After flipping the switches and turning on the safety protocols, the machine started producing a whirling sound. No sooner did a small portal form, giving them a glimpse of the dystopian world of the Supreme One. "Wow, that-- is that me?" Shego pointed at a fallen statue. "Sheesh, who would've thought the sidekick could ever take over the world, right Drew?" Shego teasingly jabbed his arm, making Drakken roll his eyes in response. "Shego, dumpling, darling love of my life, I've apologized thousands of times already, can you finally let it go?!" He received a snicker in response, "I guess not, nevertheless, let me concentra--!" A loud bang snapped the two out of their banter, "Dr. D? What was that?!" Shego instinctively lit her hands as the room turned dark for a moment, the whirling sounds of the portal device intensified, and no sooner bright red warning signs started flashing while a deafening alarm went off around them. Shego looked at Drakken, who was frantically trying to close the portal. "Something's trying to push its way into here! I-- I haven't been able to properly secure that part yet-- Shego!" Drakken's face paled as he looked back in the direction of the portal.

"The Supreme One, actually." An icy chill went through Shego's spine as she heard her own voice coming from directly behind her. "I already thought, what took you so long Doc? It's not fun being stuck in time; ain' I right, Dr. D?" Both Shego and Drakken watched in disbelieve at the arrival of the Supreme One's sidekick, who within seconds hurled himself at the machinery, destroying most of it and breaking off the connection to the fractured timeline.

Drakken tried to jump in and save what was left by making his flowers restrain the brute, but the man ripped the foliage away from him as if it were nothing. The sidekick threw Drakken aside and blocked Shego from trying to get to him, holding her in a lock.

The supreme one stepped closer and looked at her restrained self.

"Now that botany-boy is taken care of... tell us, Shego: Where is Kimmie?"

---

I hope you guys like my little sequel idea for 'A Sitch in Time'. I absolutely love this TV movie!! I'm not much of a writer but it was so much fun imagining this story while drawing!! As for the future designs of everyone: - Kim's outfit is based on Stephen Silver's older Kim design. - Ron now has a utility belt that actually works and gloves that can help him control his Mystical Monkey Powers. - Shego's outfit stayed relatively the same with some adjustments, why change what works right? - Dr. Drakken (now Professor Lipsky) traded his blue lab coat for a white one... dress codes apply at his shared workplace, but he still wears a blue dress shirt underneath it. Aside from that his eyes aren't as good as they used to be and his contact lenses were out of the question since they tampered with the eye-scanning-security-device (he ended up being left outside of the lab for 3 hours because of it), so now he just wears glasses.

I also wanted to include Rufus in the story; Now a senior rodent, Rufus spends his retirement days around the lab assisting Drakken with various experiments and small talk while Kim and Ron are on missions. Hope you enjoyed both the drawing and the mini fanfic!!

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qqueenofhades · 11 months

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In light of OceangateGate, by show of hands, who still wants Elon Musk to send them to Mars?

I mean, this whole thing (like I kept saying in tags) is both grimly fascinating and utterly predictable. Because there's this whole culture that you could and should do absolutely anything anywhere on earth, if you're able to pay for it, and at the same time that the companies offering these experiences can do absolutely everything to cut corners and make profits while placing people in incredibly dangerous situations. Whether it's the mountain adventure companies who take tens of thousands of dollars to shunt total novices up Mount Everest, or this, it's just like... MAYBE YOU SHOULD NOT BE ABLE TO MAKE EVERYTHING INTO A HYPER-CAPITALIST COMMODITY JUST BECAUSE YOU ARE RICH AND/OR WANT TO TAKE MORE MONEY FROM RICH PEOPLE! MAYBE!

Within 48 hours of this story breaking, we have learned that:

The sub is not tested or certified by literally any regulatory agency, because "innovation can't wait for rules"

The sub is built of fucking camping store gear and a video game joystick, they did not pay for appropriately certified parts for the depths they wanted to go, and the company fired the guy who pointed it out, rather than dealing with any of the issues he raised

The CEO (one of those now missing on the sub) gave an interview talking about how "at some point, safety is just waste"

In 2018, a literal group of esteemed submersible experts wrote to this guy about how his plans were bad and he should feel bad; he ignored it

The sub does not have basic safety equipment, a readily available backup vehicle, an acoustic beacon, etc, and has gone missing several times before; it is only luck that they found it those times

You can't get out of the fucking thing by yourself even if it is on the surface

It used Elon Musk's Starlink satellites for communication and cited SpaceX as a private adventure tourism model (as noted, you know, the rockets that keep literally blowing up)

You have to sign an enormous waiver (after paying $250,000 a head) acknowledging this entire thing is completely unregulated and you may very well die

Which it looks like these poor schmucks either have or are soon going to, either by imploding instantly at great depth (the merciful option) or slowly suffocating in a freezing coffin in the dark (the absolute hell option)

Like?!?! How was this not COMPLETELY predictable?

And this happened WHILE THEY WERE GOING TO THE TITANIC

You know, the most famous case of Man vs. Nature technological hubris in history

I mean. This is the ultimate outcome and perfect encapsulation of the "no rules no regulations ever, everything including the most dangerous things are crassly commodified for money, everyone is an expert and/or experience is irrelevant, safety rules only exist to hamper innovation and disrupt The Free Market, costs should be cut on everything for more profits, and this should all continue regardless of the consequences or the impact on the other people then required to endanger themselves to rescue them" late-stage capitalist hellscape we are living in. And maybe I shouldn't have laughed, but uh, I laughed:

#anonymous #ask #titanic sub saga #we live in hell! we live in hell! we live in hell!

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nobrashfestivity · 6 months

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I always appreciate the space you give to marginalised artists on your blog, in particular marking certain dates like yesterday's World AIDS Day with select individuals. It's a small thing, but it means very much.

That's a very kind thing to say, thank you.

There's really so much great art in the world, from everywhere, I wish i had more time to delve into and understand it.

Personal story:

When I was young teenager, I used to hang around a lot of artists and teachers. When you're a certain age, just being around people who live their life in a particular way is fascinating. These people did acting and sculpture and dance and they put on plays and painted murals and, most importantly, welcomed anyone who was interested to learn or participate in their whole world. These are people who would play you Miles Davis, introduce you to their favorite southern Indian restaurant, or take you to a Fellini movie. I almost could not conceive of the freedom these people displayed. The joyfulness of making art seemed like a whole world that had been hidden from the more mainstream part of society I grew up in.

Because I wanted to be an artist, I got so much encouragement from a whole community of older artists. It would be hard to calculate how important that was to someone trying to figure out if they could do these things as an adult. One teacher of mine at school was a mentor and a friend who gave me a book by Heidegger when I was 15. It was a small personal gesture of confidence that I could get something out of it. And that confidence made me feel responsibility, I think. Like, if someone you admire thinks you can do something maybe you should investigate it.

Another friend lent me her apt when she was travelling for 6 months. I was 16 and I never had my own place. This was a lively part of the city, you could look out your window all night and see the goings on, yelling, laughing, music, conversations. If you were bold you could by weed on the street but half the time it was oregano. One night I saw a cop car on fire sitting in the middle of the street. It remains maybe the most surreal image of my life.

A few years later, I watched many of these people waste away from AIDS. No medical person knew what to do. The government ignored it. Everyone joked about it. When you went to funerals, the parents of same sex couples often would deny the existence of these partners and shut them completely out of the grieving process. The stigma was so bad and society was so fearful. You would ask about someone you had no seen in a while and it would turn out they were gone. People were decimated and no one would even hug them when they were dying.

We lost a whole generation of artists. And the fear and hatred of anyone who was different continues now, just in different clothing. So, I never forget about AIDS because there are so many people I wish I could go visit now and talk to about life or art, but they have been erased along with many of their friends.

I know social causes can be annoying. Celebrities take them up and there's always some crisis jarring you to take action. But i think it's good to remember those people you loved long ago. It keeps them from becoming ghosts.

#personal #anonymous #aids

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reverieaa · 1 year

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" 𝑇𝒉𝒐𝒖𝒈𝒉 𝒇𝒂𝒍𝒔𝒆 "

In a community where strict mental diets and positive affirmations/self concepts are often pushed into your fyp 99% of the time, admitting your current mental circumstances feels like a fall from haven to hell. As if you were the brightest, most high angel, who sinned by having a bad thought and fell from your grace.

But you cannot put blame upon loa bloggers or their posts for feeling helpless, you cannot put the blame into the 3D or it's people. After all, even if every loa post has positive intention, it's what you do with it that matters.

So I ask you, did you use the post you read to free yourself, or did you use it to see more things you are now afraid of?

To be afraid of negative feelings, negative thoughts and God forbid- have doubt.

And while I've seen affirmations and methods work for people, if you're anything like me, they only caused a war in my head.

I decided to go back to Edward Art's older posts, where I stumbled upon something he wrote which I find very interesting, helping me come to a fascinating conclusion.

He talked about the famous Neville quote:

" 𝐴𝑛 𝑎𝑠𝑠𝑢𝑚𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛, 𝑡ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑔ℎ 𝑓𝑎𝑙𝑠𝑒, 𝑖𝑓 𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑖𝑠𝑡𝑒𝑑 𝑖𝑛, 𝑤𝑖𝑙𝑙 ℎ𝑎𝑟𝑑𝑒𝑛 𝑖𝑛𝑡𝑜 𝑓𝑎𝑐𝑡"

I tell you now I always hated that quote, never understood it as it always felt contradicting to what Neville was teaching. I asked myself why would he say an assumption is false if he was teaching people that their desires are real amd within them? That quote made me feel like I was beliving in a delusion, that is why I stayed away from it.

Up until now, I feel in love with it. It was when Edward art broke it down to what Neville was truly saying, that I understood.

Forcing yourself to believe in something makes you feel delusional, doesn't it? Unnatural.

It is when I accepted that what I was assuming of myself was fake, that I felt the sense of freedom and relief. It was then that I could imagine whag I wished and feel what i wanted without worrying if I was doing it right or not, if you dare, accept that you assumption is fake, and feel foe the sake of changing your feelings simply because you want to.

But then as Neville said, what if is the difference between your assumption and this reality was simply trust? It's all real only because you trust that it is, that you experience it.

It is then that I realized, the point isn't that every reality/state is real and I must occupy the one I want. It's that everything is only as real as I make it to be.

Nothing is real without your trust that it is, nothing has it's own life without you breathing air into it's lungs. That is what Neville meant with this quote.

I found it easy to imagine after that, I didn't worry how real it was to me, if I was doing it correctly or if it would ever even happen.

So let it all go, break your inner self free from 3D and make yourself absolute in your mind. To feel beautiful because you want to, to feel rich because you can, to feel powerful because you must.

This is because many connect the word " real" in their dictionary with the 3D. But like i said previously, everything is as real as you trust it to be.

This goes for everything on this earth, the undesirable circumstances you loathe to wake up to everyday, the frustration you feel when you imagine what you want because it feel so close and so far at the same time, it's all another state/reality-yes- but it's only as real as your focus on it is.

I found it ironic that this is what helped me the most. To stop caring of the truth of my assumption is what made it real for me.

This should free you, you should be able to imagine what you wish and how you wish whenever you want to, knowing you can't do wrong because what wrong is there to do? You are reality, the only thing that truly exists, that is why a change of self/mindset is a change of everything, because that's all there always is.

To me it was not a matter of " everything/ every state or desire is real and I must come the realization and acceptance of it" it was that nothing truly was without me bringing my focus to it.

So go ahead and let your emotions out whatever it is that you've been keeping in, no matter how negative it feels, you are not called to be perfect or move mountains, not to change things or make them happen. You are called to be free in your own mind only, you are called to be alive.

And so when your mind tries to argue you out of imaging by saying " this is all fake" it is then you fire back by saying " well so is everything, what does "real" mean to you after you found you bring meaning to it?

#law of assumption #affirm and persist #loa #manifesation #manifesting #neville goddard #3d #affirmations #loa methods #void state

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nyxsealia · 4 months

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An example of why LGBTQ+ representation in media matters, especially children's media.

As a child I didn't know LGBTQ+ people existed. There were no queer people in my family, or in family friends. (At least, that I was aware of) I remember one time we went to the library and there was an educational table set up outside with information about pride. I asked my mom what all the rainbows were for. I don't remember what she said, other than I remember her mentioning one of my older brother's friends who apparently had two moms. I was very little. I forgot about that conversation and was no more aware of queer people.

I don't remember seeing queer characters in media. The first time I can remember seeing LGBTQ+ people depicted in anything was in the music video for Avichii's "Addicted to You" the plot of the music video follows a pair of female robbers who are explicitly in a romantic relationship. I was absolutely fascinated by this music video when I saw my brother watching it. I was eleven. This music video follows a lot of the common queer TV tropes. The women are criminals, the "bad guys" and they die in the end. But this was the first time I can remember seeing lesbians.

Even as a teenager, I don't remember seeing much LGBTQ+ characters in media. I was intrigued when the token gay side character would show up in a TV show, but that wasn't really representation. I still knew nothing about queer people. A boy in my art class came out to me as trans. The exact words he used were "I'm a trans guy." and I legitimately didn't know if that meant ftm or mtf. I accidentally misgendered him once because of it.

In my early teens, I said some pretty ignorant things. Luckily just to my family, but still. It wasn't until I started questioning my sexuality in my late teens that I actually started to learn anything about the LGBTQ+ community. I did a lot of research, not all related to figuring out my sexuality, just about LGBTQ+ experiences and identities. I watched videos by LGBTQ+ YouTubers, listened to podcasts, read articles, all by queer creators.

I especially made a point of understanding transgender people, because that was something at the time that greatly confused me. So I looked for videos, podcasts, articles etc, made by transgender people themselves where they talked about their feelings and experiences. It made a huge difference. I wasn't confused anymore, I couldn't relate to how they felt, but I had understanding and empathy. I went from confused and unaware, to understanding and supportive. Just from a bit of research.

But even at this point, there was still little to no LGBTQ+ media representation. When I came out at 18 and felt comfortable picking movies focused on queer characters, I had a heck of a time finding any. I did find some, and while a lot of them weren't great, I did find a few really good ones. (Saving Face and Late Bloomers are two of my favourites)

Things are getting better, slowly. We're starting to see more media focused around LGBTQ+ characters, and children's media including the topic. It's long overdue and we're still not quite there yet. You're gonna have a hard time finding media focused on LGBTQ+ characters that aren't white, able bodied gay, lesbian, or bisexual characters. Representation for trans, non binary, asexual and aromantic identifies, queer people of different ethnic and cultural backgrounds, religious queer people, and disabled queer people, and any combination of the above, is still lacking. We still have more work to do.

Having these kinds of shows and movies would have made a big difference for me growing up, and it will make a big difference for thousands of other kids who are growing up right now.

This isn't a negative post to complain about the lack of media, it's an example of it's importance and optimism for the future. I do believe this will continue to get better, however slow that may be. This is just my little reminder of why it needs to.

I hope anyone who reads this is having a good day. You're valid and loved, no matter who you are. Stay safe.

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anomalymon · 3 months

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[Essay] MissingNo Therian: An Exploration in Identity, Labels, and the Fictotherian Experience

We've seen a few posts of people wanting more personal essays in the community, so I thought I would write this and crosspost it to Tumblr. -Rex

I am a MissingNo. My exact form is one that's been fluid throughout my life, with Kabutops and Aerodactyl fossil forms having preference, but occasionally switching to the Lavender Town Ghost. I identify as a Pokemon therian or Poketherian for my species - or fictotherian for a broad term. This identification is one which can confuse people - after all, therianthropy is more traditionally associated with animals, and I identify as Pokemon that isn't real. My species only exists in four games that are well over two decades old and is a failsafe the game spits out. Why should I identify as a therian? Despite how strange it can seem, I still prefer therian over other labels such as otherkin and fictionkin. My therian identity is deeply intertwined with my hyperempathy, created by a bias of my animality, comes from viewing a MissingNo as a type of animal, and from experiencing common therian traits.

Therian over otherkin, fictionkin, or fictive

Some may be saying "why don't you call yourself fictionkin?" or even "Isn't otherkin for mythical species, while therian is for earthen species?" To address the later point, there have been better written essays dispelling this. I would highly recommend Therian: Dispelling the Earthen Animal Myth by The River System for a well written and researched essay.

To address the former point, it is personal preference. I did use "otherkin" for years and still do identify as both otherkin and fictionkin, but the term "therian" is more in alignment to how I experience identity. I am an animal, I experience shifts, and I experience instincts.

I don't perceive MissingNo as sapient on the level of elves or some dragons. For me, being a MissingNo is also a "real" thing, as tangible as a dog, bird, or dragon. I don't consider myself glitchkin despite being a glitch, nor conceptkin. I am like the theriomythics who label themselves for being an animalstic gryphon or phoenix.

When it comes Fictionkin and fictive, to me they can be too focused on identifying yourself in the framework of being a character, which I'm not. I'm not a creepypasta character anymore than one of the Hypno species would be. I still do identify as fictional - I can comfortably identify as "fictherian" or my preference "fictotherian" (Which comes from "fictotype". I believe I started this term usage - since when I started using it, I could find no results to it, but I did use it in forum posts, Discord servers, and other methods).

Fictive falls under a similar problem - but with slightly more alienation. While the term is open to me, my identity history makes me feel out of place in a community of walk-ins and introjects when it was one that developed later in life.

How I became a MissingNo and the grip of hyperempathy

My identity as a MissingNo came later in life. I began existing in my system as a canine pup - which I know from behaviors and mannerisms that I later connected to me in the present, and genuinely expressing feeling like a dog as a child. Years later, I identified this species as a manned wolf.

Then at around the age of ten, my identity shifted to a glitch Pokemon. What at least contributed to it was developing a special interest in Glitch Pokemon around this time. This combined with our natural hyper-empathy and perhaps being conceptum to subconsciously alter my identity over time.

These interpretations can cause me to be out of place. While I still love glitch Pokemon and I am fascinated by them, I rarely find anyone who also has an intense interest and fascination while having this level of hyperempathy - even if I encounter others who have some alterhuman or even gender or sexuality connection to glitch Pokemon. Almost uncontrollably do I see glitch Pokemon as genuine Pokemon. I might grow attached to certain Pokemon in the way I would a pet.

The overall psychological influence means that this identity comes down to personal interpretations and personification. I'm not a natural animal and you cannot read about me in a textbook or find any bits of lore within the games, but rather, I am an animal that came from the mind of a mentally ill person.

MissingNo the animal

What defines "animal" varies. Humans are biologically animals and primates, but not all humans identify with those terms, with some taking offense to it. To someone with hyperempathy, a stuffed animal may be as much of an animal as a living one, or even a car might be a type of animal to certain minds. This connection is what makes me feel a MissingNo can be a type of animal.

Additionally, Pokemon are their world's equivalent of animals, and this is how most of my system views Pokemon due to one of our deepest parallel life connections being a humanlike Mewtwo. This sentiment is also one I've seen many Poketherians have. In the world of our origin, we are animals. For another essay on a similar experience, I'd highly recommend "The Fire Burns Bright" by Jasper, an Alolan Marrowak therian.

Within the contexts of the games and many interpretations - including my own - MissingNo is also a bird. It is one of few Pokemon which use this glitch beta typing. Being a bird can be equally as much a part of it and I'd consider birds as a paralleltype and one where I may confidently call myself a bird. Albeit a very odd bird.

The wolf and animal bias in my core

In addition to the bird of the MissingNo, the manned wolf at my heart is still important to my identity. It's in between otherhearted and therian on a sliding scale, and I identify it more as manned wolf-hearted for convenience, but it's closer to "kinth". I don't know why I am or was a manned wolf, but it doesn't quite matter to me either way. What matters is that there is the manned wolf.

To me it feels as if despite my core being or "soul", my mind became a MissingNo while the core remained the same. To my soul, a MissingNo is a type of dog. Then, to my mind, a manned wolf is a type of Pokemon. Both of these identities came about and exist in harmony rather than opposition.

Another comparison that the heart and soul makes is being "feral". Glitch entities in video games to me are almost like an animal which can't be domesticated. They may act fine, but every so often you'll encounter something that reminds you that at their core, they're wild. MissingNo still scrambles sprites and Hall of Fame data - and you can't have a "normal" experience with it. MissingNo is to Pokemon as a wolf is to a dog.

The instincts that made me tear apart playsets when playing house pretending to be a dog are still present in the instincts that make me want to tear apart meat when I eat it.

The Experience of a MissingNo Animal

I fit into many traditional therianthropy experiences and unto a hybrid canine/avian experience - just perhaps with more twists towards the bizarre.

I am a contherian when it comes to mental shifting and almost always feeling like an animal. However, I do experience phantom shifts. I get the sensations of skeletal fangs, claws, and a body that's far heavier and taller than my tiny, human form. Though the bizarre comes when during these shifts, I don't feel like I have skin and much of my body feels transparent, I feel like I should be able to stick my hand through my lower jaw.

I feel the sense of freedom and flight when I ride a bike downhill. For a few minutes when I bike, I can imagine myself flying. I sit in rivers and ponds among the wading birds feeling like I belong. I treat the chicks and chickens we raise like a part of my flock.

I still want to hunt. Sometimes I need to fight my instincts to recognize chicks as flockmates and not food. I like to eat wildly and I like to taste blood and fat in my food. When I eat, I feel like like the blood should dribble through my skinless jaw bone. Skeletal claws should be typing this essay instead of fleshy human fingers.

Conclusion

I am an animal, and despite doubts, I am a therian.

This label fits my experiences better than the alternatives. I don't feel as much alienation or out of place compared to other communities even though my species isn't an "animal" in the traditional sense. Hyperempathy has created this experience for me in that I feel more comfortable saying I am an animal than I am from fiction.

My center being is animal and always has been, it's just how its presented through my life has shifted. The animal instincts have only developed as my species has.

It is my hope that more unusual therians might come forth and be encouraged to examine their experiences - and for both earthen therians and potential theriomythics or fictotherians to explore what exactly "animal" means to them. I want others to also examine where their mind's biases may lead them, how that can impact their identity, and use it to feel more at peace in what the heart wants.

#I was reluctant to post this because it will still show up in search results for MissingNo but oh well #alterhuman #therian #fictotherian #fictherian #fictionkin #alterhuman essay #therian essay #rex's posts

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sgiandubh · 10 months

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Pretzel logic

I never liked funerals - who does? - and I have always tried to avoid them, under different pretexts. This is one of the moments we meet the Great Beyond and we are at our most vulnerable. It's only fair and it is not something to be taken lightly, ever.

August 10, 2022 happened a few days before I decided to give OL a try and by the time I landed in here, that YouTube live had already been taken offline, perhaps with good reason.

That people watched it should come as no surprise to anybody: it happens in all cultures and societies - Death fascinates us and makes us curious, even if it's a questionable, voyeuristic kind of curiosity. It was posted for everyone to see, on the biggest content streaming platform on planet Earth. It was posted in consideration of the ending peak moment of the COVID pandemic, to allow for more people to attend, with the family's prior consent. It was most probably shot from the organ balcony, at a respectful distance and I am being told the streaming was blurry: a good thing, if you ask me. People screeching for "more clarity" of those screenshots should, in my humble opinion, think twice: context and taboo and all that.

That people saw something bizarre in the front pew was unavoidable. That the said detail (Occam's Razor would help us conclude that ambiguous things are usually anything but...) was screenshot, edited and made its way in here and elsewhere - impossible to control. However, I have not read any disrespectful comments about the event. Nobody snarked. Nobody grinned. A hole in the plot was pointed out, adding to the whole array of inconsistencies and if I remember well, it was almost missed out entirely (a taboo is a taboo, after all) and started its career online only days after.

Was it shared ad nauseam? Maybe - but who the hell am I to judge? Again, not something you can control, unless you set yourself up as the Torquemadas of this fandom and slap everybody on the wrist with your twisted righteousness. When your people discuss the Data Lounge findings in great, lewd detail, that is called having fun and (I love that one, don't you?) gossiping, as if you were just talking about Miss Scarlett's new petticoat, not a man's reputation. When our people dare to post pictures from a public event, or published for public consumption, that is immediately taxed as being insane or snooping.

A neutral person venturing in here would call out the bias immediately. I call out your hypocrisy and have no problem doing it in writing. And I never peddled neutrality, in here: I simply peddled decency and I remind everyone I have probably never posted any pictures from August 10, 2022 (I will triple check later, but I am pretty sure I didn't). It is a personal choice and, as you know very well, I am not alone in the Shipper community. Far from it.

That you chose August 10 to post the largest, most consistent amount of content I have read on your blogs during the last six months, shows me once more what I already knew: you simply can't help yourself, can you? It's all about slap-a-shipper day, even if this community remained remarkably silent and collected, yesterday. Extremes exist, they are a fact of life: silencing them is useless and unproductive, at least as far as I am concerned.

You have once again showed me your true colors, Mordor. At the end of the day, you do not really have a problem with the pictures floating out there. What you do have a BIG problem with, is the person sitting in the front pew and you would go to great lengths - to any lengths, for that matter - to disguise it under a thick sanctimonious cloak of civic disgust. Your shrieks backfire: if anything, they confirm, not deny. And for the sake of politics, anything goes. It is, therefore, ironic, that in order to post your reasoning, you did look, in great detail and for a consistent amount of time, at the same exact screenshots and pictures you send to hell so gleefully.

Spare me the dramatics.

#fandom

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theyhavetakenovermylife · 4 months

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Tech Troubles (Fluff)

1987!Donatello x reader

A/N: We are keeping it short and lighthearted today. I’m starting my internship at a kindergarten tomorrow, so I have a lot of things to get ready. Enjoy some fluff in the meantime💜

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Warnings: None💜

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It was another busy day in the lair beneath the bustling streets of New York City. Donatello was hunched over his workbench, tinkering with an intricate piece of technology that had annoyed him for several days, not letting him do as he had intended. The lair echoed with the clinks and whirs of his tools as he focused intently on his latest project, frustration slowly growing inside of him. So focused was he, that he did not notice you enter the lab.

You entered the lab and halted in your step, watching Donatello work with fascination with a focused expression, his brow muscles frowning deeply. As the newest member of the team, you were still adjusting to life surrounded by ninjas and the way of the ninja turtles, still finding yourself mesmerized by the fact that they even existed. Yet Donatello had taken it upon himself to show you the ropes, and you could not complain. You had found yourself drawn to his intelligence, kindness, and of course, his charmingly nerdy demeanor ever since the day you met him and his brothers and their rat mentor. It was not too much to say that you had developed a crush on the smart turtle.

"Hey, Donnie, what are you working on?", you asked, breaking the silence that had settled in the lair.

Donatello looked up from his work, his frown disappearing and a smile spreading across his face when he saw you.

"Oh, hey there", he greeted, setting down his tools. "I'm just trying to fix up the communication system. It's been acting up lately, and I want to make sure we're always in touch with Master Splinter and the others. But…”. He looked down on the bundle of wires on the table, irritation making its way onto his face once more. “... It has not been working the way I’ve wanted it to. Actually, it had been putting up a fight with me".

You nodded. "Need any help?", you offered, eager to lend the purple clad turtle a hand. Anything to help the guy you had developed a crush on.

Donatello's eyes lit up with appreciation. "Actually, that would be great", he said with a smile. “Fresh eyes usually help a lot. Well, that’s when those eyes know what they’re looking at”, he added, nodding towards his brother's rooms on the other side of the wall, causing you to chuckle. Donnie could not deny how much he liked that sound.

You moved closer, peering over his shoulder at the intricate wiring and circuitry spread out before him. Together, you examined the faulty component, brainstorming possible solutions.

As you worked side by side, a comfortable space and sweet conversation formed between you and Donatello. You found yourself laughing at his jokes and sharing stories from your past, while he opened up about his passion for technology and his dreams for the future.

Hours passed in a blur as you lost yourselves in the task at hand. Despite the occasional setback and technical glitch, you refused to give up, determined to see the project through to the end.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity of troubleshooting, you and Donatello managed to fix the communication system. A sense of pride and accomplishment washed over you as you watched the screen light up with a clear, stable signal.

"We did it!", you exclaimed, high-fiving Donatello in celebration.

He grinned, his eyes sparkling with admiration. "Couldn't have done it without you, (Y/N). Thank you", he admitted, his voice filled with gratitude.

As you basked in the warm glow of success, you found yourself getting lost in Donatello’s eye. His bright eyes shining with the same care and understanding as they always did whenever he looked at you, making butterflies emerge in your stomach.

That was when you noticed you and Donnie’s hands, still connected by the palms in the air, his fingers not letting go of yours, but instead slowly entwining themselves with yours. Donnie’s eyes followed yours, noticing the thing that had caught your attention. This caused a blush to make its way on to Donnie’s face, as he quickly retracted his hand, bringing focus back on the communication system with a stammer. You smiled with the new knowledge that was presented to you. You might not have been the only person in the lab with a small crush.

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thewulf · 11 months

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My Favorite Girl || Sirius Black

Summary: Sirius Black(if you don't mind) or Aaron Hotchner with a new girl that has a cochlear implant. At some point it could be damaged and they learned sign to surprise her!

A/N:I didn’t specify which sign language since all I know is ASL (American Sign Language) and after some reading I’ve learned that BSL (British Sign Language) is completely different! Almost as if they were two different languages which is fascinating. So, I didn’t want to butcher that! Also, we’re selectively ignoring the ‘muggle devices don’t work at Hogwarts’ rule, this does. Hope you enjoy. Very fluffy and extra sweet. As always, thank you for the requests!

Pairing: Sirius Black x Y/N

Word Count: 4.5k +

“What’s got you so nervous love?” Your mum wrapped her arms around your sunken shoulders. She’d spotted you sitting down at the edge of your bed just staring at the wardrobe looking rather glum. It wasn’t like you at all. You were the happy go lucky twelve-year-old that just got her letter to go to Hogwarts only a month ago. Your parents had known. A wizard came to explain that you were born a witch and what it all entailed. How the magical world existed and how you were now a part of it.

It was great and all until you the night before you were leaving for Kings Cross Station, to the Hogwarts Express for the first time. A witch came to collect you and your mom taking you to Diagon Alley. She was a representative from Hogwarts that helped guide first year muggle born students through the transition between the muggle world and the wizarding one. You understood when she handed you the list of things you needed. Half the supply list looked foreign, the books especially. What was transfiguration? Did potions really mean making potions? It was all too much all at once for you.

You knew you’d be going in far behind. There were other first years who grew up with magic like it was nothing. They were used to it, there was no novelty to it anymore. Not only did you have to overcome that, but you also had to overcome being the weirdo with a hearing impairment. The wizard that came when you were a baby even offered a healer to come take a look. The healer tried but said there wasn’t much that could be done. Magic can only go so far.

You’d grown up nearly deaf until you were able to get scheduled for surgery. You and your family had learned sign language to compensate until you got your cochlear implant surgically installed. After that you’d learned how to communicate through speech once you could finally hear. It was like learning an entirely new world. You loved it. How magical it really was to hear.

“Hello!” An overly excited black-haired boy smiled and waved as you sat across from him after getting sorted into Gryffindor. You weren’t sure if that was the best house, but it seemed like a decent one from the rumblings you’d heard on the train, “I’m Sirius. Sirius Black.” The long-haired boy named Sirius stuck his hand out for you to shake. How proper you noted.

You shook his hand gently while introducing yourself, “Y/N, Y/N Y/L/N.” You spoke quietly, unsure of the entire situation. How was it that yesterday you were sitting on the couch with your mum and dad in the muggle world and now tonight you were here? It was blowing your already overstimulated mind.

“It’s nice to meet you Y/N. How brilliant is this all?” He gestured to the magnificence of the ceiling of the Great Hall decked out in candles not even noticing your implant. It was impossible to see already due to the small size of it, especially when your hair was down like it currently was. Maybe you really didn’t have much to worry about. Maybe you could just be a normal first year like the rest of them.

You nodded excitedly suddenly so much less afraid, “It’s wonderful. I’ve never seen anything quite like it.” Your eyes scanned above you at the hundreds of candles that flickered above everyone, “Won’t the wax melt on us though?”

His eyes studied you as you fully took in its magnificence. He laughed at your innocent question, “Muggle born? They’re enchanted, it won’t drip on us.” He asked with genuine curiosity. Sirius had quite literally never met a muggle born witch. His parents forbade it. And they reigned supreme in every aspect of his miserable pure blood life.

You nodded suddenly a little afraid after heading the warnings from the witch who took you Diagon Alley. She told you there was a pecking order. Pure bloods were the cream of the crop. Half-bloods got some respect. And muggle borns were… less than desirable to the elite pure bloods. It also didn’t help that there wasn’t that many of you to begin with. It was far more likely for a witch or wizard to come from a wizarding family. You were already the small minority. The anomaly with a defect. How fun. Poor little British girl.

“Yes, I’m a muggle born.”

He grinned ear to ear, “Well, I’m going to show you everything I know. It may not be much but it’s something.”

“Really?” You leaned closer to him. He felt warm. He radiated warmth. His smile drew you right in. Sirius Black. You had a feeling you wouldn’t be forgetting that name for a long while. If not ever.

He nodded his head quickly, “Absolutely. You’ve got my word Y/N.” He wanted nothing more than to make friends. To fit in. Because he knew he was in for it the next time he saw his parents. He wasn’t too thrilled for the letter he was bound to receive in the next few days. An utter disappointment he was sure. He was a pure blood. He should’ve been in Slytherin. But that damn sorting hat had other plans.

Before you could respond a brown-haired boy with crooked glasses slid onto the bench next to Sirius, “Hi! I’m James!” He gleefully smiled taking in the other first years around him.

The rest was history. You fell into quick friendship with the girls of year one after the first few nights in the dormitories. Particularly Lily and Marlene. The three of you formed a trio quickly. It quickly felt like a big sleepover every night.

You’d also fallen into fast friendship with boys in your year too. Lily couldn’t stand them after James had taken a particular liking to her and never seemed to stop pestering her. Dorcas and Marlene thought boys were beneath them and never have them a chance leaving just you to form the friendship. If you weren’t with the girls you were with the boys. You couldn’t believe how nervous you were before getting to Hogwarts. Everything felt so easy and far too much fun for it be school. How lucky you felt.

“What’s that?” Sirius poked the top of your ear. Ah, it was about time one of them spotted the device on your ears. It’s been nearly two months into your first school year before he noticed. You’d gotten lazy and pulled your hair into a bun.

You found a rhythm with everybody. You’d grown close to Lily quickly, other than the boys that was of course. The girls knew about it within the first night. It wasn’t very easy to hide the device when you had to take it off and make sure it was charged. They were incredible with it all. They even learned basic signs so that they could talk with you if they needed to once you took them off. They made it easy, and you truly couldn’t be more grateful.

“It helps me hear.” You set down the quill that you were using to write your essay with. Potions, you had to write a damn essay on the history of some potions master. How dreadful. Slughorn claimed it’d give you all a newfound respect for the great art of potions making.

Sirius sat down across from you at the library table. Normally, he’d never be caught dead here. But he knew it was a Tuesday at six o’clock and you always did homework at the library then. He’d figured it out after a few months of getting to know you. Figuring out your structured routine quickly.

He genuinely liked you. You were far too sweet for the horrors of the wizarding world and the wretched pure bloods Slytherin. He’d tried his best to shield you from it. You didn’t deserve the snide looks and comments you’d received. Hell, no muggle born deserved it. But he could still see the saddened expression on your face when a Slytherin boy would yell ‘filthy mud blood’ across the square right at you. He saw the hurt that crossed your features before you bravely put up a wall trying to ignore it. If there was one thing he knew within the first few months of knowing you was that he’s never felt so protective over anybody. Not even his own brother. It’s like he was bound to meet you. Bound to shield you from the hatred you didn’t deserve.

“You’re hard of hearing?” He didn’t realize how goofy he sounded using such mature language as a twelve-year-old until he saw your goofy expression making fun of him. You were cock eyed and wondering why in the hell he sounded like your grandpa. You’d both laughed quietly not wanting to get kicked out by the ornery old librarian.

You nodded slowly, “Always have been. Birth defect not even magic can fix.” You sighed wishing that you’d have been the exception. But no. Your ears were too damn deformed to get to work right. Magic couldn’t create a new cochlea. It could only attempt to fix what was there. So, it was muggle medicine you needed. It was muggle medicine you got.

He got up from his seat quickly plopping down in one next to you. He leaned over inspecting the apparatus that fit right to your ear, “It’s muggle?” He asked curious about the whole thing. Why hadn’t you told him? Had he not made you feel like a friend? Were you embarrassed?

You nodded careful not to hit him as you turned your head back away from his view, “Yeah. It’s called a cochlear implant. Uses vibrations or something to help me hear.”

He nodded moving away from your ear. Giving you your personal space back, “Makes you look cool.” Sirius nudged your shoulder seeing your unease surrounding the conversation. If there was one thing he was a pro at it was picking up emotion. Coming from such an emotionless family he had to know how to read anything. Pick up on anything. It was his only survival mechanism he learned in such a soulless upbringing. He noticed how you stiffened up when he asked about it. How you got seemingly uncomfortable within an instant like he’d just found out your deepest darkest secret.

You laughed softly, “Hardly, I’d say.”

He shook his head, “Trust me. It’s wicked. Makes you look part robot.”

You shook your head with a bright smile across it. You didn’t know what he was doing but you sure did enjoy it, “Is that really a good thing?”

He nodded, “I say so. And that’s really all that matters.” Giving you that signature Sirius grin you looked at him curiously. He was so different than any of the other twelve-year-old boys his age. It made you wonder about him. Wonder what his story was.

“Sure Sirius. That’s all that matters.” You shook your head as laughter bubbled out of you. He always got you smiling and laughing. A pro at turning any situation right around.

“Hey, you said it.” He tossed you a wink before ruffling your hair and running off. As quickly as you’d grown in your friendship with Lily your friendship was exploding with Sirius. The two of you were tied at the hip.

Your first year ended with you not wanting to get off the train at Kings Cross. You gave each of the boys and girls the biggest hugs before finding your parents. Promising to write them throughout the summer. You made sure to give Sirius the longest hug of them all. He was your comfort. The one you ran to when you needed help. A bond had formed your first year with the boy. A bond that you’d hoped could never be broken.

Fourth year was brutal. The Slytherins went all in on the bullying. Especially his cousins. You were now the filthy deaf mud blood freak. They targeted your implant because of course they did. They were bullies. Mean, evil people that picked on you because it bothered Sirius deeply. You seemed to be the things that got him worked up the most. Unlucky for you that you became their prime target of harassment. Lucky for you that Sirius was now essentially your bodyguard.

It bothered him so much he launched a full-on assault on the Slytherin common room and dormitories. The marauders, as they now called themselves, left you out of this one knowing you would tell them it was a step too far. Even Remus didn’t think it was too far. Not after the nasty insults he’d heard thrown at you earlier in the day. They’d seen you like a sister now. That protective nature was spread across all the boys. When you were hurt, they were hurt. And they weren’t the kind to stand by. Not these boys.

So, they snuck in using Polyjuice Potion, rigged the place with exploding dye and waited. They sat outside the hallway grinning ear to ear when they saw the entire dormitory explode out the dungeon door. Each person coated in hundreds of different colors. Unfortunately for them the dye wouldn’t wash off for a week. Not that the marauders cared. Not after they hurt you. Remus only felt a twinge of guilt for the Slytherin’s who didn’t partake as they were just casualties of the bigger picture.

You eyed the marauders the next morning after seeing almost all of the Slytherins coated in dye. Sirius only tossed you a wink before turning back to James. That was all the confirmation you needed. Even if you didn’t necessarily approve of the prank you knew you were loved by them. Those boys loved you dearly and you loved them just as much. It was moments like those that made you feel more than lucky with the friends you’d found here. You’d never cease to count your blessings.

Seventh year didn’t start out too wonderful for you. You’d woken up in the middle of the night having to use the restroom. Without much thought you’d taken the implant and placed it on your ear. You knew better than to take it off the charger when it wasn’t fully charged. The damn thing malfunctioned when it didn’t get its way. Muggle medicine wasn’t the most reliable at times.

What you didn’t expect was for the thing to completely break. A loud noise pieced your ear before you heard nothing at all. Shit. One side seemed to be working but the other was dead silent.

You turned on the running water only to hear muffled silence. Fuck. This couldn’t be happening right now. You walked down to the common room to take a better look at the device without waking any of the girls up. You sighed when you read the clock on the wall, five in the morning. This is just what you wanted to be dealing with at this hour.

You broke down into a soft cry feeling overwhelmed by the situation. Why now? Why after years of never having a problem with the usually amazing device did it decide it wanted to malfunction. You let a few tears fall before patting you face dry. You needed to focus. How could you fix the transmitter? You pulled it off the top of your ear along with the processor and microphone to make sure everything was working right. The only problem was it looked like everything was working right. All the usual lights were on. You felt the inevitable headache coming on strong from the sudden imbalance in hearing.

Panic began to bubble in your chest. Was something wrong with the device that was implanted in your ear? More tears fell as you let the anxiety of the situation consume you. You still had your other ear that seemed to be working fine. But nothing sounded right. Everything was muffled.

“Hey,” You felt a cold hand clamp down on your shoulder sending you nearly flying off the common room couch.

“Jesus Sirius.” You gasped unsure of how you actually sounded. Everything was muffled and hard to hear. It’s like you could hear but you couldn’t decipher without the other ear working. You saw his lips moving but you could vaguely make out what he saying to you. Trying to read lips was difficult with such low light coming from the always glowing lanterns that were scattered about the common room.

Even more panic began to rise as you realized you really couldn’t hear that well without the device working. Shit. You’d have to go home and have a muggle doctor look at it. You doubt any magic would work on a vibrational contraption.

Sirius saw your red laced eyes and the recent tear streaks that went down your saddened face. His expression downturned at the sight. He’d always loved you. But it wasn’t until recently that he realized he was devastatingly in love with you too. For the last seven years you’d been at his side, like James, through thick and thin. Even though you weren’t an official Marauder he’d considered you one. He made sure the guys included you in on everything. Even if it pissed James off. Sirius didn’t care. He simply adored you.

You didn’t give a damn about his name, Black. You’d started Hogwarts too naïve to know how scandalous it was that he was sorted into Gryffindor with the group of first years. It wasn’t until Remus gave you the run down about the sacred eight families that you realized how shocking the entire thing was. It didn’t deter you though. You’d treated him all the same. And he loved it. You kept him grounded. Even through the myriad of women he went through, you always were there for him. You always would be. Even if you couldn’t have him as a boyfriend you decided a long time ago you’d always be his best friend. No matter how hard it could get. And it got hard. Specifically, when all you wanted was for him to hold you in his arms, but he was hung up on another girl. That was heartbreaking.

You pointed to you ear and then the pieces you were holding in your hand. You mouthed, ‘I can’t hear you.’ You didn’t want to speak. It didn’t sound right. You couldn’t tell if you were whispering or yelling. The loss of hearing disrupted your reality significantly.

He turned his head unable to read your lips. He grinned ear to ear knowing he could try and communicate with you through sign language. Ever since you’d shown him the cochlear implant your first year he’d slowly learned. He was determined to learn sign language. Especially since you told him it was your first language. The one you were most comfortable in. You never needed to use it though, so he’d kept it in his back pocket.

Before he could respond though you’d already written on the back of an old flyer sitting on the coffee table reading, ‘It broke. I can’t hear.’ You pointed to the pieces of the device in your hand.

He nodded walking over to you slowly. It was now or never. He went for it. He signed, “Can I look?” He was probably going to sound like a child communicating knowing he never actually practiced with anyone. He never told a soul. Not Peter, Remus, or James. It was his little secret. Something he wanted to keep to himself. Between the two of you. Something special the two of you could share.

You nodded just in sheer shock from witnessing him communicating through his hands. You handed him the pieces, not that he had a bloody clue what he was looking at before looking up to you.

You were wearing a small smile. The pools of tears that were there moments ago had seemed to vanish in an instant, “When did you learn?” You asked back hoping he’d be able to read as well as he was able to speak it.

Should he tell you? He knew if he did that he’d be crossing the line. That friendship line that he’d been teetering with you for the last school year. It wasn’t his fault he was so blind before. But he felt too late. Like you’d both go off and do your own thing and never see one another again. You only had seventh year left. That was it and then you were off. It didn’t seem possible to him. He didn’t want to hurt you. That was the last thing he wanted to do.

That’s how he knew he loved you deeply. He’d rather not pursue you in the chance that it could hurt you. He was usually the selfish one. This was perhaps the least selfish thing he’d ever done. And it hurt him, his lack of action. He was always the doer. He never waited. He got what he wanted. But you? You were worth the wait. Even if he had to wait another twenty years. He’d do it. He loved you. Loved you so hard.

But on the other hand, what if he was hurting you by not telling you? What if he just needed to make it your decision? He was tired of playing it coy and distracting himself with meaningless dates and disappointing one-night stands. He let his hands move without thinking much more, “First Year.”

Your mouth dropped just slightly as you registered his words, “Really?” You asked after a moment of consideration.

He nodded his head minutely at the state of shock on your face. Shock turned to gratitude. Gratitude turned to more tears rolling down your face. Happy tears. That was the straw that broke the camel’s back for you.

It was hard just being his best friend. Even though you’d decided so long ago you’d always be there. It was so difficult always hearing him go on and on about damn near every girl within a grade of the group. You’d have to sit there and listen about how he’d impress them to get them into bed. It hurt but you’d learned to ignore it. It was Sirius. That was all. He was your friend and nothing more. You could wish and pray and hope all you’d liked but it never seemed like it could happen.

But this? This was beyond your wildest imagination. He’d went out of his way to learn sign language… for you? You knew it wasn’t easy. You spent countless nights crying when you were growing up because you couldn’t understand it. But he’d learned it. Just for you. Only you. That was love.

The tears that spilled now weren’t of the frustrated kind from earlier but of that overwhelming sense of love. Of such a divine happiness you didn’t think you’d ever receive. But here you were eyeing Sirius with all the love in your heart. He’d learned a damn language for you.

He walked over quickly brushing the tears away from your face. Taking a step back he signed, “What’s wrong?” Before engulfing you in the warmest hug you’d probably ever received outside your mum. You’d completely melted into him feeling his all-encompassing warmth. And for a moment you’d forgotten about the broken implant. You just felt so euphoric.

You shook your head wiping away the last bout of happy tears, “Nothing. Thank you.” You signed back at him. You wanted that hug again. That warmth. You wanted him.

“You’re my best friend. My favorite girl.” He didn’t really know how to go further but you nodded in understanding. You’d realized he’d do just about anything for you. Best friend. God how you wished it could be boyfriend though.

This time you’d pulled him back into that hug. Giving him a big squeeze. You were surely going to go over the deep end if he didn’t reel you back in quickly. It wasn’t often that you’d let your emotions get the best of you. But when you felt and heard that painful noise and then nothing it sent you into a spiral of emotion.

After you let him go he rubbed your shoulder gently, “Let’s go talk to…” he trailed off not sure how to continue. He mouthed ‘McGonagall’ hoping you’d get what he was talking about. You nodded in quick agreement. If there was anybody who would know what the hell to do it was her.

“Thank you.” You signed once more before the two of you went to go wake the older witch.

His smile could really change the trajectory of any day. You savored that beautiful grin that rarely came out so fully. Instead of responding he simply wrapped you back into him for the third time in as many minutes.

This time he held you for so much longer though. Held you tightly in his arms almost afraid to let you go. He felt so fucking dumb for not realizing what he had right in front of him. How incredible you were to him throughout the years. How you were his person. James was his best friend for forever. You were his person though. You were it.

He rubbed a gentle hand down your back utilizing the height difference to his advantage. He smiled warmly when he saw the visceral reaction you had from him touching you. You seemed to simply soften into his embrace. He’d certainly make a note of that. He was very much enjoying the position he’d found himself in with you. Holding you tightly to his chest.

He was always so bold but the thought of kissing you seemed to paralyze him. He’d have to take it slow just for his sake. He didn’t want to make a complete fool of himself. Sirius knew that you wouldn’t give a damn if he did though. You’d seen him though it all. Been there with him though everything. Every high you experienced with him and every low you comforted him. He couldn’t say the same was reciprocated and he wanted to slap himself for that. It was a miracle you hadn’t given up on him truly. He’d never fail to count his lucky stars.

After the lengthy embrace he pulled apart. Brushing the straggling hair out of your face he nodded to the Head of Gryffindors chambers at the base of the stairs.

Sirius offered you a hand for comfort still holding onto the small devices ready to explain and translate for you to McGonagall. Happily accepting his offer, you placed your much smaller hand in his. The way he looked at you sent a shiver down your spine. You knew he loved you in that very moment. You knew you were in for a very exciting lifetime with just that look alone. Oh, how you couldn’t bloody wait.

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