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hanzi83 · 1 year

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Just Another Random Mental Check In (That no one asked for)

I figured I would do another mental check in for the sake of it, I think I am actually kind of liking writing blogs again over doing some of the podcasts, I mean it might be easier for the remaining of my following to actual follow along with, like would you rather waste time over accumulated rants over several days to just be put out there where you have to suffer through my stuttering, where some days it really gets bad, or would you rather a more direct message in written where the most you will have to deal with are run on sentences, suspect spelling etc, sometimes when I do the blog and certain words just stutter out and I struggle to spew it out, sometimes it feels like that scene in Bruce Almighty, where Jim Carey is fucking with Steve Carrell during his news broadcast, I know, I know, a 20 year old movie reference, and on a dated blog site that is deemed uncool because the new hard hitting shit is on substack, this is just a blog going off of vibes, but since world war 3 is trending, again, it feels every other day for the last 6 years that has happened. I keep thinking every day we are getting there sooner rather than later, you can just see how people and institutions are positioning themselves and how every day there is more trauma porn and if it is not that, there is more promotional corruption where we spend the discourse pointing out the hypocrisy of that institution and public figure where they become more cartoonish, you know people used to reduce me to just being a Howard Stern Wack Packer, and it is hilarious to me how much everyone, who used to at least sell themselves as being a respectable human being partaking in society, have now become a complete parody. It is why the entertainment world, while it still makes money, most of that shit is in the political discourse now, and anything exciting about celebrities is the real life drama and comedy shit that is happening. I feel we have manifested all our favorite entertainment and now we are getting the real life version of this entertainment, I have to remind myself of that since I am not watching every single movie and television show released because sometimes I hate missing out and caring about wrestling more, when that fandom has gone to complete shit. But maybe getting exhausted of these things is a good thing, I don’t need more entertainment in my life, I have a lifetime worth to consume and perpetuate tropes in my personality from absorbing this shit since I was a kid, I just observe how the discourse goes and what repeated tropes get repeated and beaten into the ground. Speaking of beating shit into the ground, I wake up every day and it is another day of sports entertainment easing into a more fascist world. Like the world we were living in before all this didn’t have normalized fascism that existed but now it has reached another level with how sophisticated it is by manufacturing consent with the entertainment and sell out celebrities, we have wanted to reboot our society to reestablish attitudes and ignorance from the 90’s mixed in with some truth, but not realizing all that shit that used to mean shit on the surface has become inflated since there are advancements in the game now that we have to pretend doesn’t exist so we have the narrative of the establishment being more liberal and having a bias towards woke shit, so anyone who says anything anti woke, or pro Trump is seen as the “just an opinion” and “cutting edge” because ever establishment hack has kayfabed their hatred and dumbed shit down, so other alt media places can constantly use it to dunk on since that has been their personality traits for the last 10 years, where it meant a bit more, but now most of the shit online is MSM level funding going on, maybe they are using other currency since the dollar doesn’t mean shit anymore. Again let me clarify if the previous sentences were not obvious, I am not some expert on shit, I am a pretty dumbed down guy who would try to go to smarter people to see what their narratives are, and now I am at the point where I can’t trust anyone, like am I allowed to be alarmed about other corrupted governments and what they might do, and not do it under a US imperialism mindstate where discredited public figures who never address the long list of what the US has been built on, and continues to do, just continue to fear monger about other corrupted governments, I at least get out of the habit not to generalize all the citizens in any country because that doesn’t solve shit, and I think we make the mistake of looking at the conflict in a 80’s aesthetic of pro wrestling where it is country vs country when I feel the far right wing movements all over the world have some alignment, it is like the fundamentalism the US has helped perpetuate in other countries was just practice before they bring it to the US officially. It is basically like ECW and other promotions who oppose the WWE, but in my opinion WWE always needed other promotions to establish shit before WWE finally borrowed from it and brought it to their company and that is how I see the political world wit how this shit plays out, people who are snooty and think of pro wrestling as low brow, I mean they already dumb down entertainment’s influence in general, but wrestling has always been the ugly stepchild of showbiz, but there is a reason why these politicians and celebs have always been fans of it, maybe not because they actually enjoy the actual product, but rather taking notes on how to use the elements implemented for their own personal gain, trying to manipulate a reaction by saying what needs to be said, depending on the role you are playing. So I don’t know which stances to really have on the impending doom now because it is hard to know who is telling the truth, and who has an agenda, and I feel like lately I have more vitriol to the online contingent because MSM has already been established as being a joke and it has been clear but that is all the material for the online shit, other than some people who used to claim being a left person is now perpetuating on the “underground internet platforms such as youtube” that Tucker Carlson is the only one telling the truth. I can’t keep up with the complexities and specifics of who worked for what think tank, or what obscure faction they are a part of and I wish sometimes the smarter ones could actually dumb down the messaging to get the general public to know, because the dumbed down sports entertainment that has more of the new age fundamentalism/conservative shit under the guise of super political correctness is what is running amok, because you find the right guise for the presentation and apolitical people won’t realize they are taking a politically motivated message that has an agenda, it has always been a regressive agenda but once you start hinting at progressive shit, it feels like that is the overbearing agenda that is getting out of control, while I feel that has helped the default agendas that have always been in place now stand out, which is why anyone is praising Trump will be seen as someone who is brave since it seems everyone fucking hates him and they clearly have an agenda because they are focusing on his corruption.

It feels like since the internet has become a lot more right wing with propped up accounts you have to cater to them for the entertainment or public figures to get some support and I feel the funded types online have made it seem they were calling out shit because it is neoliberal etc, which is a valid thing but it was not designed to get to a more progressive side, it was to bring in their own gimmicked right wing shit that people will not consider right wing since we give everything a cartoonish definition and put shit in a box. So now anyone who is not sharing the “liberal establishment” message feels like their message could never be compromised. It doesn’t feel we are in the business of actually exposing and explaining it because we insist on pretending we live in this regular world where the weird things going are just random acts playing out and we are just gonna compare it to whatever entertainment we watch, that is how committed we are to the entertainment, we have to pretend that saying there is organization into the imploding end goal and just the overall impending doom is some out there statement, and then these people from these alt media establishment like shows then pretend like anyone who thinks beyond the narratives presented are the ones who are insane, not the people who insist on playing their favorite television characters so they can give us gimmicked narratives so people can act out their sitcom dialogue and banter and then pretending the answers they have to countering the policies that the most wicked and corrupt politicians carry out, like this is not all planned to fall on its face. This is why I am not motivated to understand the rules that are advertised, literally everyone breaks the rules, there are inconsistencies, so why would I even learn the fucking rules. It is like when the wrestling world advertised traditional rules in their world, and trained you to understand what the standard protocol but then when the attitude era came, all those rules went out the window, and you broke stipulations.”Hey someone lost a match and said they would retire or not challenge for the title” but then crash television took over so those rules and stipulations didn’t even matter, and now I see that in politics. Normally when you are associated with a rapist, or a pedophile, you were kind of outcast from society, now you can just keep your high profile job and just exist for people to boo and hiss at you for. So it is my fault for looking at what is happening, but when I can’t have honest conversations about my concerns where this shit is going with people in my life, or people from my past etc, I have to rant and rave on social media. And that shit is dangerous because there are people who monitor me with great hatred and keep an eye on anything I say. Like I have stated, even if I come up with something that has legs, who is gonna give a shit because my message doesn’t reach the masses, everyday my followers list is decreasing more and more, but make no mistake dangerous people monitor my shit but if I am buying into your world of kayfabe, then no one knows who I am and I am a nobody so what threat do I serve, I am just some fatso rambling and creating bad AI Art while tweeting about wrestling and going on irrational proclamations of never watching the show again, and then I give back in. Again what threat do my theories serve if I am a nobody? You wanted this way. You get off on the fact that I am suppressed but then also then get upset that I don’t care how suppressed I am and continue to write down my thoughts, because I am supposed to feel isolated and neglected even online, like the people who run shit let me be isolated for the last 10 years for the last 10 plus years, but there was interaction going on with the Stern and wrestling fandom, but now they have made it possible to be isolated online and if I actually gave a fuck about my future, maybe I would be more insecure about it, although I am writing a blog at late hours of the night to talk about it so maybe there are some issues there, who fucking knows?

It feels like the same tropes and discourse goes on and it will continuously be on loop until it all officially goes to shit, every day I think we have reached that boiling point but we just go back to business as usual, we manage to create more discourse that use the backdrop of valid systemic shit but gimmick it for other grifts and causes that gets focused on more so than the actual systemic issue. I know even this blog has probably repeated the same shit I have said before, but maybe the world has gone to such a shitty place where it is repeated shit nonstop that now I am going so insane that now I am repeating the same shit over and over and expect to maybe think that this one blog will magically just change shit by the luck of the draw and maybe we can expose and explain what is truly going on, and not this fake Project Veritas level of “exposing” shit, but actually exposing these narratives and getting people prepared for what is to come because as far as I can see, the far right has always had their messaging to seem anti establishment and they amplified it and then there was some progression over the years, they fear mongered about that kind of change while also connecting it to the shady shit the democrats would be doing since the right wing trajectory system will book the decisions and have their figure heads, so now the far right can take advantage of calling out an already flawed system, while advocating for their deeply disturbed propaganda, and they can use their public figures to manufacture a lot of consent which will persuade people to move more right because they can count on the MSM to cover sensationalist representation that the right then can weaponize. That is how I see it, I could just be like everyone else and be alarmed by Clarence Thomas getting donations which will serve as a gimmicked way of bringing more villains to the forefront, like it is hard to get shocked that a donor to him would be into Nazi shit and it is like we know what these people are, but we have to act shocked and then we have to talk in circles with people who always have to hammer home that just because someone has an autographed copy of Mein Kamf, it doesn’t mean they support it because they could be in love with history, but is there not any other shit in history that you could collect? When you get some politicians speaking out about it, no one will take it seriously, even if the message is good, like not going by what the rulings are when the right never goes along with a bunch of rulings, these people will normalize their bigotry and racism etc be allowed that freedom, but people who represent the left have to limit the answers on the surface, because much like pro wrestling it is only interesting when the villains keep winning. So after all of this shit they have done, when one limited politician wants something done about it, it will be shat on, especially someone like AOC who is sports entertainer but she can do and say good things even if it is limited on the surface, so if in my fucked up head I know the world is supposed to implode, then it is more complex than “They voted against the people’s interest” and then have people who have dangerous ties and permitted outrage to react and not disclose their ties to corruption and questionable unethical tendencies with who is bankrolling them it becomes harder to trust their call outs of the system. So any kind of change does have to come from within that helps the outside carry that shit on, because nothing on the surface now will ever get better and that is on purpose because the real work is being done behind the scenes. I don’t believe anyone is truly 100 percent anti establishment, as much as they want to repeat the same old tired catchphrases etc. It gets exhausting, I have made the mistake in being so disillusioned by the MSM over the last 15 years, that hearing actual criticism of US foreign policy and other fucked up laws they are passing to fuck over its citizens was refreshing to hear it because back when I was a kid, anyone who didn’t praise a country 100 percent were labeled horrible people, so yeah me and probably a lot others gravitated to something other than the status quo and now the same people who would bash the status quo, have now become status quo by today’s standards, because the same shit 10 years ago that may have sounded revolutionary doesn’t mean as much coming from people who are sophisticating their grift to become more right wing because instead of just saying “We are sell outs who want to be associated with the Hollywood types and hang out with very powerful people so we will act like the wokeness is getting out of control and use sensationalist shit to convince people who are supposed to be left to embrace a more far right leaning mind” look no further than Ana Kasparian and Cenk from TYT, I have been pointing out for a year or so that they are slowly finding their reason to now think wokeness is getting too out of control, they will complain about culture wars issues, but they will boast about how they are better than MSM they are, they have record for everytime they were right about things, but yet when you have video of Ana defending the term birthing person within a medical conversation, she then all of a sudden brings on this issue of people referring to her as a birthing person like people are really doing that in her personal life, and she is doing this while there are fucking laws being passed to fuck over those communities, she could’ve went private to anyone who she feels is reducing her to a body part like she claims, but she purposefully did that, and then she has a bunch of far right wing accounts defending her, Candace fucking Owens is defending her and she gets mad at other people in the leftist space for critiquing her, and these critiques were fair but one woman thought people were coddling her when Ana knows better, so Ana didn’t mind giving a shitty “hot take” unprovoked and now she can do the pro wrestling shit of “YOU PEOPLE MADE ME DO THIS” so she and Cenk can become shitty sports entertainers who are not even funny, I hope the talented people from TYT leave and call this shit out but Cenk/Ana are probably like mob bosses of their institution and they have been waiting to have a mutual meeting spot with Jimmy Dore, David Rubin and other far right wing grifters, they will never admit that, because one of the things about sociopathic cults and very fucked up people is they never admit what fucked up shit they have done or will do, and they have gotten used to people enabling their shitty behavior that if you point out what unethical shit they have done they will lose it and deny it because they are fucked in their head, I have that shit in my life, I have jotted shit down whenever I need to vent off what I need to say and whenever anyone in my life denies what they have done or what they have said, I look back at the comments time to time when I jotted shit down, on a spiritual level, they will never fuck with me despite having the hive mind behind them who have enabled their shitty behavior of putting me through mental fucking hell, and these people still think they can be part of my life, like I can be my best self with people who have worked hard to suppress me so they could make backdoor deals and put things in place in case I do get vindication, so they can be around me then they will cater to people who hate me so they can oppose me. These sociopathic cults have that level of thinking and I might not have the back up to be able to say shit in person because they have connections with law enforcement or whatever power Mr Stern gave them, and they can shut me down, but they still monitor what I fucking say, they compromise anyone I make friends with but I would rather be dead than have to be around people who will never admit their wrongdoings and still get to act like they are better because of their aesthetic, and I see how people want to justify that a lot more, and people who oppose me will oppose anything I stand up for. When I was falling for regressive right wing talking points sophisticated under the guise of “celebrity just giving their opinion” like they are not a paid propaganda tool, people who have hatred for me would want to be on the opposite side but now that I have caught myself mentally from going further into the cult of what would be another right wing shit, people would rather be on that side to be part of the regressive side, and the funny thing is these people in general want to be stars in their own right but any negative opinion or pushback towards them they lose their minds, if me pointing out calmly what people have done or said gets so much sociopathic and vitriolic pushback, how will you handle it when people call you out for your shitty beliefs depending which billionaire is paying you. I have to be subjected to people who have had a lavish and luxurious life and have secrets to keep from me, get triggered by me having the views I have even though they don’t have to be involved, you think when people read this, you think any of them will reflect? Or will they jump in a group chat and take turns mocking my stuttering and making shitty jokes for their echo chamber because they can’t face how much more horrible they have become and how much more elitist they have become. People from my past who were not there for me when I had no one, will make me come out and beg for them to be part of my life again so they can know how much money my family supposedly and allegedly have so they can try to take and take and take, but they excluded me from monumental moments so they could hang out with celebs and partake in orgies because that is how you get bought off, they sold their souls for the good time but yet still need me and get mad at me if I don’t want it in my life. I won’t be able to escape this and I won’t be able to escape more and more people turning to the right wing and align with this new fascism that has been forming and I would rather be dead than have to see people I respected become these shitty sports entertainment characters that don’t mean shit because the entertainment is watered down and yet everyone thinks they have to become one, that becomes the number one goal while the systemic shit becomes a backdrop.

Anyways I know it is another blog that is all over the place, but when you have so many thoughts in your head and then old thoughts circulating in your head while you are still trying to process the fresh ones, my brain starts to malfunction. This is just a fatso in his mother's basement venting about the world so pay me no mind, but sometimes I just need to get shit off my chest, I know my journal thoughts are monitored so I at least will try to put this shit out there for an official publishing . It makes my haters’ leg up of monitoring me feel less than if I am putting out these thoughts in the public sphere because the one thing they get off on is monitoring what I say and thinking I have no fucking clue, in fact as I write this, they are not doing anything overly transparent but I notice I am getting a lot more “junk mail” being spammed towards me, it is a little bit of a nuisance but just the mere fact they have to fucking keep this shit going, and look I got another notification for 2 more emails with the junk shit just popping up. It is small and little thing that are done to try to annoy me, they constantly show they can hack my social media, they have not done anything too bad with it, but just the fact that they can show they can do that shit, they even report accounts I never interacted with or even saw the tweets from. As I write this another mass shooting fucking happened and you know nothing will fucking get done about it, we will find ways to weaponize the political motives behind this, because it feels like factions behind the scenes have forgotten to tell the masses they have their shooters ready and people will not give a shit because the culture war issues will have carte blanche while more mass shootings fucking happen, the people who act like they are doing due diligence by pointing out about gun laws etc, good attitude to have, but those insiders know they are never passing any good good legislation, it has become clear so we will get mad at the villains of the week and nothing will get solved whatsoever. The world is constantly falling apart, and this is why 20 years ago, when I was even more dumbed down, I could envision what the world was gonna turn to, that was very early on when the war on terror started and it felt we were going to get a bunch of ignorant talking points on television, the only art form that I found didn’t make me feel like a piece of shit for being a Muslim was probably hip hop, but then in 2004 when people turned against Bush a lot more, it gave me some hope even though my understanding was extremely limited, but maybe I could see a grand view of this world just going to shit, like I had experienced this shit in a past life. And now I am stuck here, more people are dying and being oppressed, they limit how much you can help on the surface, I don’t feel I can trust people anymore who used to be close with me, I am rewatching old episodes of Sopranos, and wondering if this world is just a big fucking nothing. Nothing will ever fucking get better it seems, and in the midst of all of this horrible shit happening, you know what gets traction online? All the shitty sports entertainment personalities who try to get canceled and have these stupid fake debates so both their clicks can feel they are useful and fighting this great cause. Complete and utter horsehit, the most mediocre personalities can be propped up and it isn’t because they are some great talent, it is because they are willing to become a regressive shit head first while dominating left spaces and getting all the points before they turn into fucking heels.

#Hanzi Howard Stern Show 2023 Mental Illness Sports Entertainment fascism heel turns gimmicks pro wrestling opinion theories no facts

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luisjuanmilton · 3 years

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Hello, Ana, I hope you're doing okay. I saw your latest posts and you got some pretty rude anons in your ask box. I'm just writing this to add my 2 cents to what's happening since Silverstone because, as much as I don't agree with a couple of things you say, I think people are completely missing the point about some of your statements and are sending unjustifiable hate towards you (as I recall, an anon was sending asks about you to another blog asking if they were on your side and that's just peak stupidity). So, I'm watching F1 since the 2001 season (yes, I'm above 40) and when Alonso became the WDC in 2005 it was the best season ever for me. Men are not my thing, so I've never felt particularly fond of any of them on a personal level, social media wasn't a thing, I'm also working on STEM, so the technical aspect of the sport always fascinated me. I'm saying all of this because when Alonso won he broke a streak of victories held by Michael from and from a sports perspective, that was awesome. Dominance in the sport is boring. I never had anything against Lewis, he's undoubtedly the GOAT and I actively supported him in 2014 (Vettel's dominance had to end) and even 2015. But since Nico retired and Lewis' dominance became unparalleled (because as much as he has the same 7 WDCs as Michael, Lewis is a much better driver, and Michael played dirty, so Lewis had way more to achieve), and I was wondering when someone would come to stop that (maybe Vettel again?) (+)

Guys this is the first part of a very long three part ask I received which continues in full after the read more, and I want to ask everyone to read it because it’s incredibly well put and well written and it’s so important. I really think it perfectly explains the situation at hand and that’s why I’m going as far as to use Max’s tag, but if you’re a Max fan who doesn’t want to read it this is your cue to not click on the read more - even if I would advise for you to read the whole thing.

(+) The thing is, with the events that happened off track I can no longer wish for such a fiercely fought championship, and the reason why is that I don't trust RedBull and Max's work ethics anymore.

A championship should be decided ON TRACK, not with lawsuits and discourses full of vitriolic racist-toned hatred. It's a fact: RedBull as a scuderia did an amazing job this year, that car is insanely fast, Max himself is absurdly talented, but at this point can we really separate things to the point of sweeping racism under the rug and focus on the championship as if nothing is happening?

I always listen to the mantra "you can't separate the artist from their work" so how can we do it? How can we look at RedBull objectively and still feel happy for their results at the cost of Lewis Hamilton's wellbeing?

I see lots of people messaging you saying you're equating cheering for Max with being racist and no, not everyone cheering for Max is racist, but AT THIS POINT, could you guys cheering for Max ignore how permissive he is?

He has so much power inside that team, he could make Horner and Marko stop their nonsense, he could've issued a statement condemning the racism thrown at the fan, he could, as a public person, take responsibility in his hands and stop that shit. But he's silent. His IG post? Adrenaline.

But now, 48hs later there's really an excuse for his silence? Guys, as much as he's angry, it's not like people are calling Lewis only a bad driver, they are offending his race, their posting monkey emojis to his social media.

In Max's shoes, would you see your rival going through that and remain silent as if your pain due to your crash and missing the race could somehow be equivalent to RACISM? I'm not demanding you all to stop liking Max per se or trying to say he's a bad driver, this is not the point AT ALL.

I was there during the Schumacher era and, believe me, Michael wasn't an angel on track. Formula One always sparkled heated debate, but I've never seen anything like this before. Lewis is silent since Sunday, a couple of drivers are either issuing personal statements or a standardized GPDA text, and Max is still silent.

And in my view, regardless of how I feel about him as a driver, as a human being, he's failing miserably. This championship shouldn't be more important than standing for Lewis against the racists coming for him.

So instead of complaining people are calling you racist for supporting Max, ask yourself for how long you can put his behavior off track behind in a serious matter like this. Instead of asking Ana or any other fan to be better in their statements, go to Max's page and demand him to say something.

You're all aiming at the wrong target. RedBull has black employees, could any of you imagine how they must feel as well? How do black fans feel? As for the championship, I hope Lewis gains a huge advantage soon as Horner and Marko will clearly try everything to have him banned until Abu Dhabi.

Let's move our desire to have a competitive championship to 2022 when, hopefully, Ferrari will give Charles a decent car. Nothing, guys, nothing can be more important right now than a black man - black fans, black employees - wellbeing and mental health. We're crossing a line we shouldn't have and people need to be accountable for their actions.

#thanks for this anon really #it was very eye opening even for me #lewis hamilton #max verstappen #formula 1 #long post #tw racism

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asset35-maya · 3 years

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I am sleepy but I gotta make a request before the busy tomorrow so 2 things on my mind! Sleepy and the 'oh my god they were roomates' vine xD with any characters and aus I love everything you write anyways xD Happy timezones and best vibes your way >^<!! 💖💞💕💕

Oh my god, they were roommates…

“The rental market in Detroit is absolute shit! How dare these bloodsuckers charge such high rates for the most under-developed properties! This city’s going to the dogs!”

“Uh-huh.”

“You have to pay your own weight in gold just to live in a shoebox for a year. Nonsense!”

“Uh…”

“Are you even listening to me, Tina!

Tina?

Goddamnit Tina!”

Gavin thumped his fist on her desk, but Tina’s eyes barely flicked up from her phone.

“Oh my god, you sound like my grandpa…”

Gavin turned red and his brain buzzed with a thousand colourful retorts. He was just about to pick one when Tina stopped scrolling and turned her phone screen towards him.

CYBERSCALIA @ NEW JERICHO

The suburban paradise for executive androids and humans alike. Located 25 minutes drive from downtown Detroit, with a full amenities.

Gavin’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates. He balked at her.

“You’re joking? How could I possibly…?”

“Get with the times, boomer…”

Tina lazily skimmed her thumb over the screen. The webpage promised plenty of greenery, good infrastructure and modest but spacious rooms. The extremely reasonable price tag was Gavin’s dream come true. He’d spent weeks apartment hunting in the wake of an early lease termination by his cantankerous landlord. Gavin knew he’d never find a better deal.

“Shit, this is so good, T! Why the phck does it have to be in that- that place!”

His friend arched a sceptical eyebrow.

“What place?”

“The Tincan ghetto!”

Tina smacked him on the arm. None too gently.

“It’s subsided public housing located in an android-friendly estate… because they’re the ones that need it most right now. And frankly, you seem to be in just as much need, so you should really get off that high horse.”

“Fine, fine. You’re right. I should seriously consider this place, even if my neighbours are gonna have more in common with my car than me. But damn, it seems a little too good to be true. There’s probably some fine print, hidden costs that’ll come out later.”

“Hmm… let’s see…”

Tina scrolled further and then let out a half-laugh. She held her phone up again.

“Nothing shady about the rates, but there is something you should know…”

At the risk of being called old again, Gavin squinted at the screen and read aloud.

“Bearing in mind the founding principles of New Jericho, all human occupants may only apply for tenancy in co-habitation with at least one android citizen of the United States of- JESUS PHCKING CHRIST! Absolutely not! I am not going to live with a plastic prick!”

Gavin had to get through half a bottle of wine before he could bear to scroll through the rental listings. Unlike other humans who had happily moved into New Jericho with their android friends or partners, he had to find an android who was also looking for a flatmate.

Some listings came from ardent supporters of Markus. These were the androids who wanted to ease the post-revolution transition by reaching out to humans. Some listings were put up by the android equivalent of frat boys. These individuals were clearly looking for someone on the fringes of human society, someone who could show them a good (if not illegal) time.

Other posts came from eccentric androids who craved company but had likely been rejected by their own kind. Gavin felt a strange twisting sensation, almost like pity, when he came across a post written entirely in third person by someone called Ralph.

He had almost given up hope when he came across a simple little listing for a two bedroom apartment in Cyberscalia.

RK900 #313 248 317 - 87: Seeking a neat, self-sufficient co-renter. Human or android, no preference. I spend most of my time working and will be out of your way for the better part of the day. I only ask for silence during my nighttime stasis cycles, timely payment of dues and upkeep of cleanliness.

Gavin sighed in relief.

“Your room is the first door on the left, mine is the second. The bathroom, laundry and kitchenette are shared, as is the living room. I scarcely find use for the latter, so you need not worry about my intruding on any of your social gatherings, or vice versa. As long as you adhere to the terms of the agreement, our paths will not cross much.”

The tall, stiff-necked android dropped a set of keys, both mechanical and digital, into Gavin’s open palm.

“Er thanks.. RK… sorry I forgot your full model number…”

“You may call me Nines. Although, I’d rather you didn’t call me much of anything. Now if you’ll excuse me.”

In a swish of black fabric, the android turned on his heel and disappeared into his room. Two rapid clicks indicated the shutting and locking of his door.

Gavin sighed and looked around the open-plan living room. It was nothing fancy, but it was far beyond any of the other properties he’d viewed in weeks of unsuccessful house-hunting.

He sat down on the simple black couch with a huff and contemplated his situation. He’d ended up where he’d truly never expected to go, but objectively speaking, things were good… barring the high-handed manner of his robot flatmate, but who gave a shit about that.

He pulled out his phone to text Tina his thanks.

“I can’t! I refuse to! It is a violation of my personal ethics and I will simply not take this assignment any further. Good day to you sir!”

Gavin nearly dropped his bowl of cereal one morning when his roommate burst out of his door and rushed into the open balcony.

He hadn’t seen Nines in days, which was perfectly normal. The android came and went at odd hours and made hardly any noise. It was almost like living alone. The only reminder of Nines’ presence was the sight of several dark shirts and trousers regularly hung out to dry on the rack above the washing machine.

Gavin set his bowl down and watched the android tightly grip the bars of the railing and take several unnecessary breaths to calm down. He’d seen deviant colleagues express emotion many times before, but this was the first time he witnessed such a potent mixture of rage and sorrow from a synthetic being.

Out of empathy, but mostly curiosity, Gavin approached cautiously.

“Hey Nines… is everything alright…?”

There was no response for several moments. Then Nines turned around with a grimace and hands held upwards in a placating gesture.

“I apologise for the disturbance. It was hypocritical of me to disrupt the very peace and quiet I demand of you.”

“Uh… no worries…? Are you okay?”

There was a flash of steel blue eyes.

Gavin kicked himself mentally as he realised too late that he’d broached uncharted territory. Their interactions didn’t extend beyond curt nods on the rare occasion they found each other in the same space. It was almost as if Nines engineered the lack of contact, which wouldn’t surprise Gavin at all if it were the case.

“I’m fine. I merely experienced some frustration with my work.”

Perhaps it was boredom, perhaps it was his usual lack of self-preservative instinct… Gavin threw caution to the winds.

“What do you actually do?”

Nines’ expression remained stoic but his LED went through a spectacular series of colours and flashes. His next words were reluctant.

“I’m a private investigator.”

“Oh shit! I’m actually a cop.”

Gavin pointed dumbly at himself and then let his hand drop when he saw absolutely no surprise cross the android’s face.

“I know. That’s why I let you stay with me.”

“For safety?”

“Certainly not for your fashion sense.”

“Wow okay, I didn’t think I’d be much protection for a big scary droid like you.”

Nines hummed dismissively and started to move out of the balcony, body language fully indicating the end of the conversation.

Unable to help himself for some strange reason, Gavin blurted out another ill-advised question.

“What pissed you off so much?”

Nines paused halfway through side-stepping the human. A thrill went through Gavin at the shards of ice he observed for the first time up close in Nines’ irises.

“If I tell you, will you promise to stop asking pointless questions?”

Gavin nodded earnestly, and frankly… rather foolishly.

“I helped a client gather evidence to initiate divorce proceedings on the grounds of infidelity. I provided ample photo and video evidence for his lawyers to work with. Now they want me to keep following the spouse to capture more details that could gear any future settlement in his favour.”

“So what’s your problem?”

“They’re offering me an incredible amount of cash to follow her 24/7. To stake out her workplace, her gym, her parent’s home. They want me to crouch under the window of the bedroom where her children sleep. I can do a lot of things, but not that. It’s deeply insulting that they even asked. That’s why I was so… pissed.”

Nines slipped past and was nearly back to his bedroom when Gavin spoke.

“I respect that.”

“I didn’t ask.”

“I know, but for real though, I think ethics are important in our line of work. Not just because of we need morals or a sense of right or wrong blablabla, but because we need… clarity.”

Silence floated through the hallway as Nines paused with a hand on his doorframe.

“Clarity?”

“Yeah, like a sense of direction. We don’t just take cases right-left-centre because they make us money. I mean, we could, and people do… but they never become specialists or experts of any kind. You gotta strategise if you want a career. Ethics helps with that. I think…”

Gavin wasn’t sure what made him say any of that. He was neither one for small talk, nor a man of many words… but something about Nines prompted that unusual level of introspective discourse.

“Sorry that was weird. Never mind.”

“That was actually… very astute.”

Their eyes met and Gavin could’ve sworn he saw the hint of a smile.

“It’s good to see that not all humans are as one-dimensional as I thought.”

The door clicked shut, but there was no locking sound.

Since the morning of Nines’ uncharacteristic outburst, the frequency of their encounters in the common areas of the apartment increased. Wordless nods became hellos, and hellos eventually became full sentences.

Not that he’d admit it, Gavin actually looked forward to enquiring about the android’s day and the cases he was working on. It was utterly fascinating to hear about legal investigations without the constraints of police procedure.

For his part, Nines would share as much as he had the patience to, before disappearing into the confines of his room. Though the time he spent outside steadily increased every day.

Another morning, while Gavin was making his coffee, Nines emerged from his room, still in his pyjamas and looking as livid as he had the time before. Gavin had never seen him in anything but crisply ironed businesswear. Before he could voice any concern, Nines stiffly asked Gavin to keep a lookout for a homicide suspect.

He nodded and immediately reached for his phone to text the sergeant on duty at his station. By midday, there was an arrest.

That evening, when Gavin settled in front of the TV with his usual glass of wine, he heard the familiar sound of Nines’ door opening. The couch dipped beside him.

“Thank you.”

“Just did my job. I should thank you for the tip.”

“Hmm.”

Gavin chanced a glance at his roommate, and found him looking right back.

“What?”

“Nothing… I just had the realisation that much of my work is impotent without the authority and means to take any kind of action.”

The sitcom began to play and Gavin thumbed the remote to reduce the volume.

“Takes all kinds to keep the streets clean. PIs can do things cops can’t. We rely on guys like you for intel all the time, you know.”

“I know.”

No words were exchanged for a while thereafter. Gavin found himself unable to focus on the TV show with all the brooding energy emanating from his right.

“If you feel like being a private eye doesn’t make enough of a difference, then why didn’t you… um… you know…”

“Join law enforcement?”

“Yup.”

“Plenty of my fellow androids have done so. I know for a fact that my predecessor model chose to remain there. You might know him.”

“Connor? Yes. Very annoying.”

“He is, isn’t he?”

“Totally. But why didn’t you join too? You’d be brilliant on the Force.”

“My skillset is certainly well-suited, but I didn’t want to become another puppet of the state.”

Gavin really didn’t know what to say to that. He nodded uncertainly and looked back at the television. He wasn’t sure why Nines was suddenly this social.

“What are you… watching?”

Androids could scan and detect just about anything in the world, so there had to be something else to the question. Gavin, strangely, was happy to oblige.

Nines made an appearance every evening, without fail. He would sit through the TV shows if they were of interest, or he would bring his case material and notes to the coffee table to work in silence beside Gavin.

Sometimes Gavin liked to work on jigsaw puzzles on the dining table. Nines would sit beside him, pretending to read a paperback novel, but actually scanning the puzzle and passing the right pieces over from time to time.

Against all odds, an evening ritual and a tentative friendship developed. It was simple, but it was warm. Comfortable. Like nothing Gavin had ever had before, even with humans.

He awoke one morning with a slight crick in his neck but the feeling of being very well-rested.

His eyes flickered open and fell upon the window. Familiar greenery came into view… but wait… had everything slightly shifted to the left? And was that the New Jericho Capitol building? He couldn’t see that from his room! There was a tree in the way! A tree that was now a few feet away from where it used to be.

Gavin sat up in alarm as he realised that he was not in his own bed. His heart flew into his throat as Nines walked through the open doorway. Shirtless and carrying a mug of blue liquid.

“Oh good, you’re up.”

“Wha-what happened!?”

Nines frowned and sat down on the edge of the bed. He set the mug on the floor and pulled on a plain black t-shirt.

“You passed out on the couch last night. I think you finished a whole bottle waiting up for me? Sorry, I was out working later than expected.”

Gavin looked down and sighed in relief as he found all his clothes still on him.

“I didn’t want you to injure yourself sleeping at an odd angle so I brought you here. Your door was locked.”

“You could’ve easily opened it.”

“Yes, but that would’ve been an invasion of privacy. I reserve that for working hours alone.”

Gavin looked deep into the sparkling blue eyes and as usual found no trace of humour.

“Thanks…”

“Don’t mention it. Now get out. You’re ruining my silk sheets.”

Against his best efforts, Gavin could not keep the thought of being carried to bed and tucked in safely out of his mind. How many years had it been? Since something like that had been even remotely possible for him?

He knew that Nines was just being kind in his own pragmatic little way… but Gavin found that he wouldn’t mind the prospect of waking up in the android’s bed in a wildly different context.

He realised he had it bad when Tina caught him smiling to himself at work one day.

“Why so happy?”

“Oh… nothing. Just remembered something my roommate did… He’s a… funny guy.”

“Huh. Well, look at you getting along so well with androids.”

“Android. Singular. Just him.”

“Wowwww… he sounds special.”

“Who did this?”

“Gavin, the damage is merely superficial-”

“Who phcking did this??!”

He reached forward and gingerly touched Nines’ split cheek. His synth skin was smeared with blue blood and glitching in and out. Nines winced at the contact.

“Shit, sorry. That must hurt like a bitch.”

“Androids do not feel pain.”

“Bullshit.”

“I’m merely experiencing a surge in sensory input wherever my chassis is exposed. I’m fine.”

“Shut up and give me your first aid kit or whatever toolbox equivalent you tincans have.”

A shade of embarrassment appeared over the android’s features.

“I… actually don’t have one. I didn’t think I’d ever need it.”

“Didn’t think anyone could kick your ass, huh?”

“No… I didn’t think anyone would ever spot my hiding place.”

“Huh. How’d that happen?”

Nines’ eyes dipped, but as always, he answered the question.

“I was… distracted.”

Something in the air solidified and both of them felt it. Gavin cleared his throat and slapped his knees like an old man about to stand up.

“Right. Let me go check if the neighbours have anything that might help with your face.”

“So who’s this dapper young gent you’ve brought to the party, Gavin?”

“Er… he’s my uh… roommate.”

Captain Fowler nodded and winked.

“That’s what they called it in my day too.”

Nines shifted beside Gavin and cleared his throat.

“He’s a PI. But I think he’s wasting his talent taking pictures of cheating spouses. He’s quite interested in police work. Maybe we could get him to assist on a couple cases now and then?”

Fowler put down his drink and extended a warm hand to Nines.

“Oh thank RA9!”

Nines came running to the cluster of police cars and enveloped him in a giant hug. Gavin laughed as he patted him weakly on the back.

“Watch the ribs, big guy.”

“I was so worried.”

“Why? Your info was good. No chance of error.”

“I meant about you.”

Gavin pulled back and regarded Nines with confusion. The flashing red and blue lights of the cars made it hard to read his LED.

“Why?”

“I can’t believe you have to ask.”

The android pulled him into a bruising kiss. The officers standing nearby broke into wolf-whistles and applause.

“What the-”

“Oh I take full credit for that, sir.”

Fowler glanced at Tina.

“The case, Chen?”

“Oh of course. I solved the whole thing. But I mean that specifically.”

She waved a hand in Gavin and Nines’ direction. The two held each other tightly and seemed unlikely to come up for air anytime soon.

“Like I helped Gav find an affordable place in New Jericho and then he met this handsome investigator droid and they were roommates.”

“Oh my god, they were roommates…”

“Yeah legit.”

\\\

Thanks so much for the request @jude-shotto

This ended up being a lot longer than expected, but I couldn’t help it. Your prompt just took me on a whole journeyyyy <3

#maya bday ask event #reed900 #rk900 #gavin reed #dbh gavin #dbh nines #gavin900 #gavin x nines #gavin x rk900 #dbh fanfic #dbh rk900 #dbh #dbh writing #my writing

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mrpenguinpants · 3 years

Text

Andrius, Venti, and Dvalin: General HCs [+ unhinged Venti]

Oh no, not strange at all! I love seeing the art people have done on human Dvalin and Andrius. I’m not entirely sure if you wanted a Venti x Dvalin x Andrius pairing but I’m going to assume so. But just in case, I added a few points of all 4 of your hanging out. How my desk is positioned with my window, the sun is shining directly into my eyes so I have to type in this weird position unless I want my eyeballs to melt.

Also, if any of this is wrong just look away. This took forever because holy crap there is so much lore on these 3. Not sure what exactly you had in mind so I made some general/friendship HCs

Alright, today’s appreciations post is for maagdalen. Super lovely person with some lovely emotes. Oh and your english is really good btw^^ and ty for chatting with me 💕💕💕

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[taglist] <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@hanniejji @mikeysbike @unionwitch @musekala @twistedsunnshiii @stanzastic @akaasea @xoneaboveallx @adoring-ghost @asheseiler @childelover @dilucsz

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Andrius, Venti, and Dvalin: General HCs

Andrius

Andrius, also known as Lupus Boreas, was tasked with protecting the nation of Mondstadt under the request of Barbatos. He had a noble soul and mainly stays in the area of Wolvendom. He was strict, to the point, and never really partakes in whatever “foolish” activities Venti or Dvain get themselves into. But it’s all just a front because as soon as one of them get’s hurt or is in danger, his fangs and teeth are out. Even if it’s a cute hydro slime. Then he’ll take them by the scruff of their neck back to Wolvendom to get their wounds checked. On Venti it works, but with Dvalin’s dragon form. It’s amusing to see a pouting dragon getting dragged off by a wolf that wasn’t even double his size.

Not many Mondstadt citizen’s know but Andrius isn’t actually a wolf. He chooses to take the form of a wolf and should any of the wolves in Wolvendom be threaten, that’s the form he will appear in. But in truth, it was because Venti suggested it. If he was going to stay in Wolvendom and protect wolves then it made sense that his form would be the big bad wolf. Really Andrius just believes that Venti has a secret vendetta against cats and Andrius wouldn’t talk to Venti if he suggested that he take the form a dog.

There is a bit of discourse between Andrius and Venti due to Venti’s human-like appearance since Andrius views human society as a disappointment. Only accepting abandoned infants that have no where to go. But he does respect Barbatos and helped in his efforts to rebuild Mondstadt and protect it as one of the Four Winds.

While he doesn’t completely enjoy Venti’s extravagant personality he’s glad that Barbatos adopted the name and is living his life in freedom. Despite being the anemo archon, he chooses to live as Venti. Having fun in taverns and doing what he loves.

Venti

Venti always brings stories and sings for the two whenever he decides that it’s been too long since he’s seen his friends. He usually brings a bottle of wine even if he’s the only one that ever drinks - which is probably why he brings wine - which leads to Andrius scolding Venti to try and act civilized when he gets drunk and saying “No Dvalin, you cannot have some. The last time we let you drink you cried so much that Springvale still has a waterfall.”

It’s amusing to hear that after the war, the biggest problem Venti has right now is getting constantly ID checked. Dvalin takes this quite literally, since he still isn’t fully aware of taverns rules and regulations, that it takes both Venti and Andrius to hold him down before another Stormterror incident happens.

Venti has always been bold, never afraid to say anything, which was a trait that Dvalin and Andrius liked about the anemo archon. It was what made him the archon of freedom but sometimes Venti is a bit too bold and pretends to play fetch with Andrius wolf form. He is not amused. When he tries it with Dvalin, Dvalin will participate but he get’s confused and ends up just sitting beside Venti when the archon throws the stick. Which causes Venti to make a walk of shame to get the stick back.

When Venti acts as the Wind Archon it’s always a bit of whiplash when he talks in his philosophical state that it reminds Dvalin and Andrius that despite his childlike appearance and attitude, he was still the anemo archon. But it get quickly covered up when he says it’s time to switch back to Venti time.

It’s hard for them all to meet up in the present day. Dvalin stays in his domain while Andrius stays in Wolvendorm, all alone in their own domain. Venti prefers lively places than those quiet and solitude areas so he’s either in the City of Freedom or under the Windrise tree. But on occasions where he feels lonely he’ll swing by Dvalin’s lair and use the winds to carry their conversation to Andrius. Just so he isn’t left out.

If anyone asks where the ballads that Venti sings that are about a strict wolf and a nervous dragon, he’ll just say it was a passing tune he made up.

Dvalin

Dvalin, same as Andrius, lost his faith in humanity and the city of Mondstadt. He was released as his role as one of the four winds but continued to remain in Mondstadt. Similarly to Andrius he is distrustful around humans after being betrayed by them, chose to avoids human contact but he tries to adopt a more friendly side when Venti visits him.

Dvalin cares about Venti more and isn’t as standoffish in showing that he appreciates Venti compared to Andrius. Venti explained to him and showed him what freedom truly was he felt connected with someone for the first time. He did want to be understood and loved by the humans for who he was and what he wanted to protect. But that’s still a long road ahead.

He’s a curious but clumsy dragon. He’s pure of heart and steadfast in his goals which Venti is full-heartily cheering him on while Andrius disagrees but allows Dvalin to continue on this own path. Even if Andrius is on the other side of Mondstadt, he still tries to keep an eye out for Dvalin should the Abyss Order ever try and take his friend under their control.

However, due to how almost naïve the dragon is, he get’s into rather...interesting situations. While Andrius groans and Venti loses his absolute shit when Dvalin, still in his dragon form, lands and tries to observe the wolves. He only hides behind a thin tree that barely covers even 2% of his entire body and ends up scaring the wolves who run back to Andrius for safety. It takes a lot of consoling from Venti that the wolves didn’t like him, they were just scared and perhaps he should adopt a smaller form?

He’s still a bit sick from the aftermath of the Abyss Order and the poison of Durin so he can’t travel as far as he would like so Venti keeps him company. Telling him what the citizens of Mondstadt have been up to and playing music with his lyre.

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I love writing Venti, he’s so much fun. :) I say this but I live for Venti who hides behind this happy persona but is actually unhinged or deluded. I have many thoughts on this but I didn’t want to break the pace of the fic (plus this is getting pretty long anyways). So feel free to skip the rest of this if that makes you uncomfortable. I’m just spit balling right now.

But nervous and shy dragon Dvalin plus mother hen Andrius is canon. You cannot convince me otherwise.

This week has just turned into “what will we awaken today?” In other news, Lisa and Diluc. But it might be a bit late since this took some time to finish. In extra news, solo leveling just updated. Oh and jjk is (hopefully) getting a new episode tmr^^

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Barbatos

Andrius and Dvalin trust Venti to fulfill his archon duties should anything ever happen to Mondstadt. The same way Venti trusts the Four Winds will protect Mondstadt should anything dangerous arise. With the carefree nature of Venti making a sudden appearance after Barbatos’s year long nap, they both got a bit too comfortable with this happy-go-lucky version of their archon.

That is until Venti brings a fourth person into their trio. Someone who knew how to play the lyre and wished to fly and see the birds. Andrius and Dvalin share a quick look of anxious tension and it’s confirmed when Venti makes a small slip of the tongue and calls you by a certain boy’s name. They aren’t sure what to do or if Venti was starting to regress back into Barbatos and what that could mean for this innocent traveler.

“Barbatos defeated the previous ruler and left the city to rest because he didn’t want to become the same tyrant. But an archon is still an archon with responsibilities. Those responsibilities can be warped to the point that they believe they are helping and guiding their followers, but are actually trapping them in their cage. He is an archon that believes in freedom so his cage is just a bit bigger. Big enough that you can’t see the walls. Be careful traveler.”

Venti goes to greet you the next day you see him but his words seem to fade away when he approach's you. He asks if you’ve been talking to Andrius lately. You nod and ask how he knows. He says that you just spell like wolfhooks and that you shouldn’t worry about anything.

The next day Andrius apologizes to you about his words and that he was mistaken. There was nothing to worry about and to trust Venti. You can see Dvalin a bit off to the side looking away nervously and a bit guilty.

Venti always makes sure that Andrius and Dvalin keep an eye on you, especially Dvalin when you’re in stormterror land. It was a pretty dangerous landscape to trek through. As for Andrius, he doesn’t want you to get hurt during your weekly practice fights. It wouldn’t do you any good if you got hurt and couldn’t explore this vast world with him.

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bao3bei4 · 3 years

Text

girlbosses, male wives, and other lesbian genders

a post about jing wei qing shang. but also mostly about another unrelated movie. spoiler-free.

for a lot of people, mulan 1998 is their definitive “ohhh i’m a chinese woman dressing as a man for contrived reasons and i get absolutely nooo erotic pleasure from this” movie.

however, because i am very special and unique, for me it’s the love eterne 1963. it’s the shaw brothers adaptation of butterfly lovers, the classic chinese folktale. here’s how i’d summarize the movie:

zhu yingtai, an aspiring scholar, convinces her parents to let her dress as a man to attend school. on the way there, she meets liang shanbo, another prospective student, and they become sworn brothers. they study together for three years, growing closer, until zhu yingtai returns home. liang shangbo accompanies her for the eighteen-li journey home while she hints she’s a woman, but he remains oblivious. by the time he learns her gender, her parents have engaged her to another man. he dies of grief, and while she mourns at his grave, it splits open, and she buries herself inside with him. two scraps of her torn outfit turn into butterflies and fly away.

it’s worth noting here that like. this movie is made in the huangmei opera style. so both zhu yingtai and liang shanbo are played by women (betty loh ti and ivy ling po respectively). because of this, basically every level of the film is preoccupied with gender: if we take zhu yingtai’s male performance as credible (as the characters in the movie do) the leads bond through male homoeroticism; the text is ultimately about a heterosexual romance; it is acted out by two women, in a performance that is difficult to mistake as heterosexual or even feminine; and the dialogue of the movie can’t help but remark on this.

basically it asks: what if lesbians could be gay both ways? wouldn’t that be based?

like opera was traditionally made by single gender casts, so roles tended to be genderless, in that the gender of the actor doesn’t determine the gender of the role they play. roles are instead typed into four categories: dan (fem), sheng (masc), chou (clown), and jing (painted face). it’s a sick gender quadinary. each of these roles has further subtypes that are represented through stylized patterns of singing, makeup, costuming, movement etc.

so in butterfly lovers, betty loh ti plays a dan, and ivy ling po plays a sheng. but because of the textual cross-gender play, you end up with a woman playing a woman playing a man who falls in love with a woman playing a man.

i’m going to make a brief digression here into talking about like.. acting theory. in the european tradition, you see it evolving out of early concerns (from stanislavski, brecht) about the fourth wall, and its permeability or lack thereof. in chinese opera tradition, the fourth wall didn’t ever really exist. and mei lanfang, the legendary fanchuan performer, claimed that his success wasn’t just due to his appearance, but rather, his mastery of some nonliteral feminine subjectivity.

If I kept my male feelings, even just a trace, it will betray my true self; then how can I compete for the audience’s affection for feminine beauty and guile?

i’m not going to argue that there’s like, an essence to being a woman because i’m not a fucking idiot. but there’s something to be said for the idea that the gendered interplay between the audience’s perception of the actor, the actor’s perception of themself, and the character they play is a massive part of the appeal of fanchuan performance.

this is echoed by david hwang’s m. butterfly, in which gallimard memorably says, “i’m a man who loved a woman created by a man. everything else—simply falls short.” btw sorry for having the type of brain disease where i constantly reference chinese crossdressing related media. you already know why i have it.

anyway. parallel to that (but far less morally detestably), jin jiang argues “young male impersonators in yue opera embody women’s ideal men—elegant, graceful, capable, caring, gentle, and loyal.” so, trivially, 1) the eroticism embodied by fanchuan performers is distinctly different from their “straight” counterparts, and perhaps less trivially 2) it’s way better.

back to the love eterne for a bit. one of the many reasons it’s lodged itself into my psyche is because there’s something more interesting at play than just all that. normally in opera, to compensate for any perceived residual femininity in the sheng, the dan camps it up even further. so this is how zhu yingtai first appears, this bratty femme pastiche of womanhood. yet within a couple minutes she’s dressed as a man, which she’ll stay as for the bulk of the movie. they do however make compromises with the makeup--more gently lifted eyebrows than the steep angles of the sheng opera beat, and an improbably masculine smoky eye.

that’s right. they performed girlbossification on her.

i don’t want to suggest that she’s straightforwardly feminine. i could write an entire other thing on her relationship to masculinity. instead i want to highlight the erotic interplay not just between the “girl” and the “boss” but also between her and her counterpart: the male wife.

liang shanbo is ostensibly straightforwardly male, but his relationship with zhu yingtai isn’t gay in the ahaha what if i was into my bro way-- it’s a what if i was into my bro and i was his wife way.

that’s right. they performed force fem on a cis woman-man. like when zhu yingtai tells him he can’t watch over her as she recovers from an illness because “boys and girls can’t sleep together,” liang shanbo asks “are you implying that I’m a girl?”

there’s a lot of shit like this that builds up over the course of the movie. it all culminates in that final 18 mile journey. along the way, zhu yingtai compares them to a pair of mandarin ducks, one male & one female. liang shanbo sputters “i am a man inside out-- you shouldn’t--” before graciously conceding, “you may compare me to a woman.”

this is like. a simple punchline. but it’s incredible. it’s true! liang shanbo isn’t a man inside out in that he’s a man and only a man, but rather that he’s a man seen inside first, built for desiring, by a woman & for a woman. as a perpetual object, he becomes a more believable woman than zhu yingtai. and at least in his view, it seems more likely that he could be a woman than her. but beyond that, his permissive tone reads as a kind of wanting in itself--recast, if she wants, “for you, i’ll be a woman.”

obviously this is a classic lesbian mood. who among us has not seen “no gender only lesbian” posts. and speaking of classic lesbians, you might ask. did you just tiresomely reinvent butches and femmes but with a more annoying name? yes. no. okay. well.

first, like butch/femme dynamics have both historical specificity and a classed character such that it’s not rlly that appropriate to impose them on the love eterne. and i guess more importantly, i wanna talk about stuff that isn’t real.

we fight all day about people who confuse performance with performativity, (i use we lightly here. for instance, i go outside every day so i don’t care about discourse) but what if we actually wanted to talk about the former for once? something specifically, whether we choose or are forced into it, that we pretend to be?

anyway. what the hell does all that have to do with jing wei qing shang. i’m going to start by first making the argument that there’s no such thing as a naturally occurring girlboss. i think, honestly, she’s a product of capitalism (“boss” should be the tipoff here) but because both of these stories are set in ambiguously historical china, i’m going to say, instead that she’s a product of uhhh primitive accumulation.

semantics so that i can be canon compliant with marxism aside, if girlbosses are made not born, can you choose to be a girlboss? sheryl sandberg says yes. i don’t disagree, i guess, but i will say: stop glamorizing it! humans only become girlbosses when they’re greatly distressed.

you become a girlboss when you have no other choice not to be one. when your wants are too great to be a woman, when the things you want are not things that women should want-- whether that’s something that really no one should want, like being a ceo, or whether that’s just something like loving a woman (or, as it is quite often, both) -- you have to become something else.

another important part of being a girlboss is that other people are not. your excesses mean that not only do you lose something in the process, but your bosshood comes at the expense of others. the girlboss necessitates a girlworker, or so to speak.

now we’re getting to jwqs. i’m assuming that you haven’t read jwqs, because most people haven’t. that was me until like four days ago. in broad strokes, the novel is about a woman, qiyan agula, who was raised as a prince, and her quest for revenge against the kingdom who slaughtered her people. of course, this involves marrying one of the princesses of that kingdom. it’s all very exciting (lesbian).

what’s striking about jwqs is that both of them seem to fit the girlboss paradigm, in vaguely similar ways. qi yan (agula’s assumed name) seems to follow the lineage of zhu yingtai, who pretends to be a man to achieve her goals. she’s forced to give up much in the process, and also sacrifices a, uh, lot of innocent people. similarly, nangong jingnu, the princess, is inherently a girlboss because royalty sucks. but also, qi yan girlbossifies her over the course of their relationship.

but i wouldn’t say jwqs is girlboss4girlboss. there’s something a little more complicated happening. qi yan isn’t zhu yingtai in that she’s a dan pretending to be a sheng. it seems more like that she was a sheng all along. it’s something that the women of the novel return to often: qi yan seems to be better than a man.

for instance, nangong sunu, jingnu’s older sister, reflects on this.

Nangong Sunu had seen many foolishly loving women who sacrificed everything for the sake of their husbands, but there were rarely any men who would do the same for them.

(...)

Thinking it through, Nangong Sunu felt that Qi Yan was truly becoming more interesting. She intended to observe discreetly for a while, to verify if such a man truly existed in this world. (ch 221)

and i forgot to write down the citation for this, but nangong jingnu also seems to argue that not only is qi yan prettier than a man, but she also seems to be prettier than a woman. (it’s the bit where she’s watching qi yan sleep. help me out here.)

moreover, the way qi yan relates to nangong jingnu is suggestive. jingnu brings out the elements of wanting to be a woman in her. it’s jingnu’s body that makes her wonder what she would look like if she was more feminine. it’s jingnu’s happiness that she resents, wishing that her people could have that as well. it’s her desire for jingnu that makes her a woman.

(another important distinction i suppose--while one person can’t be both a butch and a femme, because the girlboss and the male wife are things we pretend to be until we embody them / them us -- there’s greater slippage between the two.)

anyway, the girlboss/male wife dynamic is reversed wrt who’s actually dressing as a different gender. that suggests an inversion in the implications we see from the love eterne, if we are to take the love eterne as the paradigmatic girlboss text. which i do, for no reason in particular.

so then, is qi yan pretending to be a man? under the opera framework, we’re forced to say no. she’s not pretending to be a man any more so than liang shanbo (as acted by ivy ling po) was. but that, of course, feels incorrect, just looking at the text. is she, then, pretending to be a sheng? i’d strongly say no. the things that others see in her, they authentically see; and she does authentically feel the same things as liang shanbo wrt femininity.

so it has to be the opera framework that jwqs is subverting then. if qi yan kept some trace of her once-womanhood, if qi yan reveals her true self, and yet she still can compete for the audience’s affection-- jwqs’s inversion of the opera framework seems to argue instead that it’s that true self that allows you to compete. it’s being masc that lets you be a desirable woman; it’s being feminine that lets you be a desirable man.

there’s an increased gender ambivalence to jwqs, which make sense, i guess, seeing as it’s not meant to be a het story the way that the love eterne was. for instance, nangong jingnu crossdresses to go out in public, and qi yan remarks that jingnu’s disguise fooled her on their first meeting. when qi yan and jingnu go out in public, both disguised as men, they’re repeatedly perceived as a gay male couple. there’s freedom in that: they could be gay women only privately, they could be straight officially, but they could be anonymously gay publicly.

so it’s through the gay male pretense that they can be gay women; it’s through the qi yan pretense that agula can love women; it’s the qi yan caring husband persona that coaxes jingnu in caring for qi yan in return-- jwqs, more precisely, argues that you can’t be a woman if you’re going to love them, and even less so if you’re going to be loved by one.

this is perhaps well-trodden ground for anyone who has read wittig & certainly many people who haven’t. but it’s the layer of pretense that for me complicates these two narratives.

i think it’s a relatable feeling: wanting something anticipating getting something, or wanting something for yourself anticipating knowing that you already had it. that is, desire in itself being constitutive of that reality.

or less abstractly, knowing that you’d want to be a lesbian if you could, knowing that you’d want not to be a woman if you could-- anticipating any realization of either.

the dramatic excesses & wants of the girlboss, i think, are a decent literary stand in for being a lesbian.

i wanna note here that this is rlly just based on my experience being a transmisogyny exempt nonbinary diaspora lesbian lol. it’s fun & cathartic to overread this history & place myself in the accidental implications.

i don’t think most of the things i say are literally true. and i don’t want to overstep & say any of this can be generalized. please lmk if something here doesn’t read right! ok kisses bye

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freddiekluger · 3 years

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Why Cap Being Internally Closeted Is Not Only Possible, But Valid Representation

i wrote this to a lot of mitski and onsind, so you can’t blame me for any feelings that bleed through

now i don’t know if it actually exists, but i’ve heard of there being a lot of discourse surrounding the captains story arc regarding his sexuality- i believe the general gist is that having a queer character that remains closeted to themselves is either unrealistic or ‘bad’ representation, and as someone who really treasures the captain and relates to his story so far a lot, i thought i might break this down a bit.

i’ve divded up every complaint i’ve heard about this into four main questions which i’ll be covering below the ‘keep reading’, because this is gonna be pretty comprehensive. full disclaimer i reference my experiences as an ex-evangelical non binary butch lesbian a couple times, and i spent a year studying repression and the psychological impacts of high demand sexual ethics for my graduating sociology paper, so this is coming with some background to it i swear

the big questions:

can you EVEN be gay and not know it????

but isn't this just ANOTHER coming out arc, and aren't we supposed to be moving beyond those?

but if cap can't have a relationship with a man because he's a ghost, what's the point?

since cap's dead, isn't this technically bury your gays, and isn't that bad?

1. "but is it really possible to not know? Isn't that bad representation?"

short answer: no and no.

before i get into the validity of the captain's ignorance about his own orientation as 21st century rep, let's break down how the hell the captain can be so clearly attracted to men and still not even consider the possibility that he might be gay, as brought to you by someone who literally experienced this shit.

the captain's particular situation is both a direct result of the lack of information around human sexuality he would have had (aka clear messaging that it's actually possible for him to be attracted to men. i don't mean acceptable or allowed, i mean physically capable of happening- the idea that orientations other than heterosexual exist and are available to him, a man), and a subconscious survival mechanism. the environment in which he lives is outright hostile to gay people, while the military man identity he has constructed for himself doesn't allow for any form of deviation from societal norms, let alone one so base level and major. as a result of this killer combo of information and environment, instincts take over and the mind does it's best to repress the ‘deviant’ feelings until a. one of these two things changes, or b. the act of repression becomes so destructive and/or exhuasting that it becomes impossible to maintain. the key to maintaining a long-term state of repression of desire is diverting that energy elsewhere, and a high-demand group such as the military is the perfect place for the captain to do this (this technqiue is frequented by religions and extremist ideologies worldwide, but that’s not really what we’re here to focus on).

while the brain is actively repressing ‘deviant’ feelings (aka gay shit), this doesn't mean you don't experience the feelings at all. when performed as a subconscious act of survival, the aim of repression is to minimise/transform the feelings into a state where they can no longer cause immediate danger, and something as big as sexual/romantic orientation is going to keep popping up, but as long as the individual in question never understands what they’re feeling, they’ll be able to continue relatively undisturbed. you know how in heist movies, the leader of the group will only tell each team member part of the plan so they can’t screw things up for everyone else if they get caught? it’s kind of like that.

this is how the captain appears to have operated in life AND in death, and it’s a relatively common experience for lgbtq people who’ve grown up in similar circumstances (aka with a lack of information and in an unfriendly-to-hostile environment), and accounts for how some people can even go on to get married and have children before realising that they’re gay and/or trans.

personally, while i can now identify what were strong homo crushes all the way back to childhood, at the time i genuinely had no idea. there was the underlying sense that i probably shouldn't tell people how attached i was to these girls because i would seem weird, and that my feelings were stronger than the ones other people used to describe friendships, but like-like them in the way that other girls like-liked boys? no way! actually scratch that, it wasn't even a no way, because i had no idea that i even could. i even had my own havers, at least in terms of the emotional hold and devotion she got from me, except she treated me way less well than cap’s beau. snatches of the existence of lgbt people made it through the cone of silence, i definitely heard the words gay and lesbian, but my levels of informations mirrored those that the captain would have had: virtually none, beyond the idea that these words exist, some people are them, and that's not something that we support or think is okay, so let's just not speak about it. despite only attending religious schools for the first couple years of primary, until i got my own technology and social media accounts to explore lgbtq content on my own- option a out of the two catalysts for change- the possibility of me being gay was not at all on my radar. don’t even get me started on how long it took me to explore butchness and my overall gender, two things which now feel glaringly obvious.

when shit starts to break down, you can also make the conscious choice to repress which can delay the eventual smashing down of the mental closet door for a time (essentially when the closet door starts to open, you just say ‘no thanks’ and shut it again by pointedly Not Thinking About It). in the abscence of identifying yourself by your attractions, it becomes quite common to identify with a lack- in my case, this meant becoming proud of how sensible and not boy crazy i was, and in the captain’s case, this means becoming proud of how sensible and not sensuous/wild (aka woman crazy) he was, identifying with his LACK of desire for women and partying (which, even in the 40s, involved the expectation of opposite sex romances and hook ups). i’m not saying that’s the only reason he’s a rule follower, but i think the contrast between About Last Night and Perfect Day pretty much support this. (the captain getting on his high horse about general party antics that he inherently felt excluded from because of underlying awareness of his difference & his tendency to project his regimented expectations of himself onto others, vs. joining in the reception party, awareness of how the environment supports difference in the form of clare and sam, and relaxing his own rules by dancing with men- the captain doesn’t mind a party when feels like he has a place there.)

so the captain was operating in a high demand, highly regulated environment (primarily the military, but also early 20th century England itself), with regimented roles, rules, and expectations. working on the assumption that he wouldn't have had out/disclosing lgbt friends, he would have had little to no exposure to lgbt identities, and what information he did receive would have been hushed and negatively geared. while my world started to open up when i started high school was allowed to have my own phone + instagram account, resulting in me realising something wasn't quite 'right' within a few years (making me a relatively early realiser compared to those who don't come out to themselves until adulthood), in life the captain never had that experience. he didn't receive the information he needed, his environment didn't grow less hostile. with the near-exception of havers related heartbreak, his well disciplined and lifelong method of repression never became destructive/exhaustive enough to permanently override the danger signals in his mind and allow him to put his feelings into words. neither of the most common catalysts for change happened for him, so he continued as usual, even after his death.

BUT, and here’s where we come to why this is actually great representation, arrival of mike and Alison represents the opening up of new world. for the first time, the captain is actively made aware of the fact that his environment is no longer hostile, and better than that, it’s affirming. he’s also getting access to positively geared information about lgbtq people and identities, so option a of the two catalysts for change is absolutely present, and resoundingly positive.

the captain’s arc is also relatively unique as it acknowledges the oppressive nature of his environment, but actually focuses on the internal consequences, and the way that systems like those that the captain lived in succeed because they turn us into our own oppressors. for whatever reason, we repress ourseslves, and often can’t help it, and i find that the significance of the journey to overcome that is often overlooked in more mainstream queer media. perhaps it’s just not very cinematic, or it remains too confronting for cishet audiences, but ghosts manages to touch on it with a lovely amount of humour and hope. Jamie Babbit’s But I’m A Cheerleader is another favourite piece of queer media for the same reasons.

not only does it show this, but as the captain continues to get gayer and lean into some of his less conventional traits (like an interest in fashion and the wedding planning), it shows lgbt people who have been or are going through this that there CAN be a positive outcome. it takes a lot to unlearn all the things that have painted you as wrong, especially when a massive institution is desperate to continue doing so, but you can do it, you can be happy, and it's never too late. (i've been meaning to say that last point for ages for ages, but a mutual beat me to it here)

2. not just another coming out arc

i absolutely support the demand for queer stories that don’t center around coming out (it’s like shrodinger’s queer: if you’re not coming out on screen, do you really even exist?), but i don’t align with the criticisms that the captain should already be out. for the reasons mentioned above, the captain’s particular story is fairly different to the ‘young white teenager who mostly knows gay is fine, it’s just everyone else that’s got the problem, but have a unremarkably straight sounding soundtrack, a trauma porn romance, and a cishet saviour’ that we keep seeing. the captain’s ongoing journey with his sexuality emphasises the overaching theme of the show: recovering from trauma and humanity’s endless capacity for growth, and i think that’s worth showing over and over again until it stops being true.

additionally, while the captain’s journey regarding his gayness is a big part of his character and story, ghosts makes it clear that it’s not the ONLY part, and being gay is far from his ONLY characteristic or dramatic/comedic engine. the fact that i’m even having to congratulate ghosts for doing that really shows how much film and television is struggling huh.

while all queer media is, and should be, subject to criticism, i think if it helps even one person then it absolutely deserves to exist, and i can say i’ve found the captain’s journey to be the lgbt story i’ve found that’s closest to my own, which says a lot considering he’s a dead world war 2 soldier who hangs out with other ghosts including a slutty Tory, a georgian noblewoman, and a literal caveman.

3. if captain gay, why he no have boyfriend????

another complaint that’s been circulating is that since the captain doesn’t, and likely won’t, have a boyfriend, that makes him Bad Representation because it follows the sad single gay trope. i kind of get the logic from this one, and a lot of it is up to personal interpretation, but part of me really enjoys the fact that the captain’s journey towards accepting himself is separated from having a relationship.

coming out is often paired with having romantic/sexual relationships (either as the reason or reward for doing so). my own struggle with repression didn't end the second that came out, and i still struggle with letting myself develop & acknowledge romantic feelings as a result of actively shutting them (and most other feelings in general) down for years, and statistics show that lgbtq youth in particular tend not to live out their 'teen years' until their twenties. by not giving cap a relationship straight away, ghosts separates the act of claiming identity and sexual orientation from finding a partner (two things which are, more often than not, separate), and also provides some very nice validation to folks who have yet to have the relationship they want, especially when lots of mainstream queer media is now jumping on the cishet media bandwagon of acting as if every person loses their virginity and has a life defining relationship at sixteen. it’s essentially a continuation of the earlier theme of “it’s never too late”, and who’s to say the captain won’t get a gay bear ghost boyfriend to go haunt nazis with??? people die all the time, it could happen.

(also, i think him and julian will have definitely shagged at least once. it was a low moment for both of them and they refuse to speak of it.)

lots of asexual/ace spectrum fans have come out to say how much they’ve loved being able to headcanon cap as ace, and while that’s not a headcanon i personally have, i think it’s brilliant that ace fans feel seen by his character- we’re all in this soup together babey (and sorry for cursing everyone still reading this with that cap/julian headcanon. i’m just a vessel)

4. “okay, but cap’s a GHOST- doesn’t that make this Bury Your Gays?”

this is a bit of a complex one, but i’m going to say no as a result of the following break down.

Bury Your Gays (BYG), aka the trope where lgbtq characters are consistently killed off (and often with a heavy dose of trauma, while cishet characters survive) is probably one of my least favourite lgbt media tropes. BYG has two main points:

1. the lgbt character is killed, thus removing them from story entirely- hence the use of the phrase ‘killed OFF’ (killed off of the show/film)

2. the character’s death reinforces the perception that lgbtq people’s lives must end in tragedy, instead of being long and fulfilling, or are inherently less valuable. bonus points if the character is killed in a hate crime or confesses same-gender love right before they die (that one implies that queer love genuinely has no future!)

not every death of an lgbtq character is bury your gays, and i personally feel that the captain is an example of an lgbt death that isn’t.

first of all, while the captain is dead, so are the vast majority of characters in ghosts. the premise of the show means that death is not the end of the line for its characters- for most of them, it’s the only reason we get to see them on screen at all. as such, the captain being dead doesn’t remove him from the story, so point one is irrelevant.

at the time of posting, we don’t know how or why the captain died, but we've had nothing to suggest his death was in any way related to his latent sexuality, so his mysterious death doesn’t actively play into the supposedly inherent tragedy of queer lives, nor the supposedly lesser value. that’s as of right now- since we don’t know the circumstances of his death it’s a little tough to analyse properly. while the captain’s life absolutely features missed opportunities and it’s fair share of tragedy, hope and growth (which seems to be the theme of this post) abounds in equal measure. the captain may not be alive, but we DO get to see him growing and having a relatively happy existence, that for the most part seems to be getting even better as he learns to open up and be himself unapologetically- that doesn’t feel like BYG to me.

while writng this, it’s just occured to me that death really is a second chance for most of the ghosts, especially with the introduction of alison. from mary learning to read, to thomas finding modern music, they’ve all been given the chance explore things they never could have while they were alive, and hopefully grow enough to one day be sucked off move on.

in conclusion,

i love the captain very much and i hope his arc lives up to the standards it’s set so far. i don’t know where to put this in this post, but i’d alo like to say i LOVE how in Perfect Day, the captain wasn’t used as an educational experienced for fanny at all. i am very tired of people expecting me to be the walking talking homophobe educator and rehabilitator, so the fact that it’s alison and the other ghosts that call fanny out while the captain just gets to have fun with the wedding organisation made me very happy.

here’s a few other cap posts that i’ve done:

the captain’s arc if adam and the film crew stayed

a possible cap coming out

the captain backstory headcanon

if you’ve read this far,

thank you!

also check out @alex-ghosts-corner , this post inspired me very much to write this

#i subluxed all my fingers and wrists doing this but worth it #bbc ghosts #bbc ghosts headcanon #bbc ghosts analysis #the captain #caphavers #the captain x havers #ben willbond #lgbt representation #lgbt rep #queer media #lgbt media

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midethefangirl · 3 years

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Captain America: Civil War - My Thoughts

I know this is like 5 years late but for this, I’d like to resurrect a barely dead discourse that succeeded in not just dividing the Avengers but also dividing the fandom. Before we start, content warning for spoilers and let’s dive into this mess.

So, basically, the entire conflict of civil war stemmed from General Thaddeus Ross (who is a hypocritical dick, btw) coming to lecture the Avengers on being destructive despite conducting destructive experiments (ahem, the Abomination and the Hulk) but I digress. Then, Ross presents the Sokovian Accords which is really lengthy and we see Steve reading like a few chapters(?). Now, let us note that the Accords were presented to the Avengers after a mission-gone-wrong killed about 11 people in Lagos (lay-gos, not lah-gos that pronunciation gave me headaches as a Nigerian).

So, the Sokovian Accords were written by 117 countries and vetted by the UN asking for the Avengers to be under oversight (which SHIELD would have done if HYDRA hadn’t infiltrated it in the first place but it is what it is). Somehow, Steve made it about “our right to choose” (how?! Cause I’m not understanding) and decided to not sign*.

*he later got back to sign, then backed out when he learnt that Tony had placed Wanda under house arrest (even though it was for her protection. I do believe Tony should have fully informed Wanda about keeping her in the Avengers’ Tower)

My issues with the plot of Civil War are:

1. The Sokovian Accords were not read out loud or placed on some kind of PowerPoint slide for the audience to understand why Team Cap is against the Accords. No, the fandom wiki is not a source because that one is from Agents of SHIELD and not a lot of MCU fans are familiar with that show (yours sincerely included). Assuming the contents were read out loud or discussed by the Avengers, I’d have understood why Team Cap refused to sign the accords but since none of that was given, I’d remain Team Iron Man for this one.

2. The Sokovian Accords is not the American Constitution. Then again, the MCU fandom tends to be American-centric and most Americans seem to have this belief that the world revolves around them (and it manifests itself in Civil War discourse).

3. Contrary to popular opinion, the Sokovian Accords were about 117 (mostly third-world) countries asserting their sovereignty and boundaries, not taking away rights from the Avengers. If we go by what the MCU wiki claims about the accords, yes, some parts are absurd (like asking for blood samples and using trackers, why are those necessary?). However, when 117 countries state that they want you to respect their boundaries, I think it is best to comply. Unfortunately, respecting boundaries is one thing the USA has a problem complying with and guess who happens to represent America?

4. The Accords affected only their hero lives, not their lives as a civilian. I doubt the UN would limit the Avengers’ movements as civilians

5. Let us not forget how Steve and Clint protect Wanda from accountability and responsibility. Wanda in the MCU is like y/n in many fanfics where everyone (except for the “big bad villain” who in this case is Tony and 117 countries) seems to love her and want to protect her from facing the consequences of her actions. Anyone *ahem Tony* who has a bit of problem with her is suddenly the enemy. Not to mention how Wanda seems to have a knack for causing destruction in African countries (Johannesburg, Lagos, Wakanda)

6. And fandom behaviour from the Team Cap stans

7. Also, why is Civil War not an Avengers part 3? It’s better than making it a Captain America trilogy and then trying to frame Steve as being right.

8. I do believe that the accords were sped up which left little time for the Avengers to discuss and compromise on certain issues. If they were given more time to discuss, compromise and negotiate, I think the movie would have ended better than it had.

9. In addition, I also agree with Team Cap stans on how the UN arbitrarily deciding to shoot Bucky on sight is a human right violation.

10. “The safest hands are our own” why does this sound like a white saviour talk point from Steve? The accords is about 117 countries wanting you to respect their boundaries and the best you can come up with to refute that is saying something a white saviour would say?

11. “Even if the whole world is telling you to move...” just shut the fuck up, this is no way comparable to 117 countries trying to assert their sovereignty.

12. Look if I have to choose between surrendering a few rights as a hero and just dismissing that of civilians as potential damage, I’d go with the former because the people whom I’m suppose to protect come first. For me to dismiss their deaths as “we can’t save em all” is just not it.

13. “She’s just a kid”, a few years later and I still hate that term. One, it’s infantilizing an adult white woman (something white men have historically done and we all know how that went) . Two, while Tony was obviously wrong for not informing Wanda about her house arrest, he was right to keep her in the Tower when they were people who would harm her with every chance they could find. **

** after watching WandaVision, some people might find every reason to want to harm her.

14. Let us also discuss the motivation of those in Team Iron Man vs Team Cap

Team Iron Man

Tony: feels guilty for the events of Age of Ultron, believes that he’s stepped out of line and the Avengers need oversight.

Natasha: believes that the Avengers should listen to the public and the UN after all, if they had one hand on the wheel, they can still steer.

Vision: believes that the Avengers as a whole bring challenge which brings conflict and then catastrophe.

Rhodey: a soldier; believes in following orders especially when it is from the UN and 117 countries.

T’Challa: dude is just there to kill Bucky. I’m sure if Bucky was on team Ironman, my guy would have joined team cap, lmao 😂.

Spider-Man: not really there for a reason except to bring in Steve to Ross. I do agree that Tony shouldn’t have dragged him to the fight without Peter making an informed decision.

Team Cap

Steve: didn’t want to sign because it takes away his “right to choose”. Idk what that means or how it is relevant to the Sokovian Accords but okay. However, I understand his mistrust considering a few movies ago, we found out HYDRA had infiltrated SHIELD and as much as I believe governments are corrupt and the UN is shit, you cannot just enter a country anyhow without warning ahead of time.

Bucky: was his motivation given? I mean, I believe he joined Steve’s side to stop Zeno from unleashing the other winter soldiers. Not that that’s a bad reason, it isn’t.

Sam: again, I don’t think the movie gave us a reason for him being against the Accords. Did he also believe it was taking away his “right to choose”?

Wanda: undecided as of moment of discussion. Joined team cap because Tony placed her on house arrest. While I agree that Tony should have informed her that he was putting her under house arrest and stated the reasons why, I believe it was for good reasons especially when some people might decide to carry out witch hunts (you get it, witch hunts? 😅)

Clint: only joined because Wanda was placed under house arrest. We aren’t given any reason why he would oppose the Accords.

Scott: fan boy of Captain America, need I say more?

15. Also, to Team Cap stans blaming Tony Stark for Team Cap being imprisoned, grow the fuck up. The people in Team Cap are all adults who made their own decisions yet Tony is to blame for them breaking the law (because they did break the law), wtf.

16. “Are you capable of letting go of your ego for one damn second?” Like Steve’s ego didn’t play a part in all this too, lmao.

17. Okay, the final battle was intense and while I believe Bucky was also a victim, I can understand why Tony lashed out at him. The one to blame here is Steve because even if he had no clue Bucky was responsible for the Starks’ death, he still lied to Tony by not telling him who was responsible. It is more appalling to learn that Steve, in an attempt to “protect Tony and Bucky”, was actually covering for HYDRA!

Also, the way Steve stood emotionless while Tony watched a footage of his parents being killed. Yet, he could shield Wanda from watching the news because of how it affected her, okay.

“I can do this all day”, fuck you, Steve

18. Clint exploding at Tony is so fucking hilarious. Tony is right, Clint has a family yet he decided to fight in a war that didn’t concern him. Also, his comments about breaking backs is so tone deaf after Rhodey just broke his back!

19. If Sam was Captain America, I think Civil War wouldn’t have happened at all, from the dialogue in the Raft.

20. Overall, this movie is a fucking mess and I hate it for dividing both the Avengers and MCU fans.

Before I close with this, I want to add that I am not anti-Steve but Civil War really made me hate him. I get, Steve is supposed to be a Boy Scout and shit like that, but he’s a Gary Stu in the MCU, let’s be honest about it. Civil War should have been an Avengers movie, rather than a part of the Captain America trilogy. The Avengers should have been given more time than three days to discuss the Accords and make necessary amendments; after all that went down in Lagos, Wanda should have been made to sit out missions and maybe we could have had someone like Doctor Strange help in training her; Crossbones would have made a great villain but it is what it is; Peter’s introduction to the MCU could have been as him actually interning for the Stark Industries and forming a kind of acquaintance with Tony Stark before Tony finds out that he’s Spider-Man; Steve should have told Tony about HYDRA‘s hands in his parents’ deaths. Anyway, I’ll go read Civil War fix-it fanfics and fanfics where the Avengers are more like family. Fuck Civil War and I’m outta here.

Edit: okay this was a thought I had when I was trying to sleep but it was too good to ignore. Rhodey has a point about Steve arrogance (if that’s the correct term) in saying “the safest hands are our own” and here’s why:

Like he stated “this is not the World Security Council...neither is this SHIELD nor HYDRA” (paraphrased). This is the UN as well as 117 countries. Look, I am as anti-government as one can go and I don’t believe that the UN are reliable (plus, if we really want to go by the AoS version of the Accords, the Accords are flawed and they need amendments), however, given the US records on disrespecting boundaries in many third world countries, I can understand why 117 countries are wary about a bunch of superpowered Americans entering their country.

To us, the Avengers are saving the world. To these 117 countries and the people who have families who were killed in the crossfire (Zemo is a good example), the Avengers are a bunch of nuisances who leave destruction wherever they tread.

I am still neutral on the whole Accords as I don’t know exactly what it entails but for Steve to go “we are surrendering our rights to choose” (again, how is the Accords threatening the Avengers’ right to choose?) when asked to be under oversight is tone deaf.

#marvel cinematic universe #captain america civil war #team cap critical #mcu critical #not anti steve rogers btw #wanted to clarify #steve rogers critical

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1dclicheficfest · 3 years

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The time has come, my dears! We’ve compiled, organized and sorted your submissions and we’re ready to share them! We’ve had so much fun reading your clichés and we hope it’ll give you a good laugh.

Important disclaimer because it has to be said: we do not endorse any of the clichés submitted and these are not meant to spark Discourse™ . This is all in good fun, to spark your imagination and perhaps inspire some prompts!

Before we get to the fun part, don’t forget that prompt submissions open on February 1st and will run until March 28th. The full schedule can be found here.

And now, without further ado, here are your brilliant clichés.

HARRY

Green eyes

Huge eyes

Dimples

Always smirking

“The flirt”

Jobs: Works in a flower shop/Used to be a baker/Frat boy/LA socialite/Mermaid

“Quirky”

Clumsy/balance issues

Health nut/Workout junkie/Eats a lot of avocado and kale/loves yoga/gross green health smoothies

Very slow speech

Paints his nails

Beautiful long luscious curly hair

Long legs/large hands

Tall/large/big

Nudity/loves walking around starkers

Obsessed with being pregnant/babies

Kind to everyone

Bites his lip a lot

Tells terrible jokes/loves puns

Naive and oblivious

Clothing: Pearl necklace, Chelsea boots/gold boots/boots in general/Gucci everything/Flared, high-waisted trousers/’red and black sheer floral shirt with black skinny jeans’

Always unbuttons his shirt to show off tattoos

Baby seal laugh

Bad at driving

Hipster/takes artsy photos

Acting out for attention/Petty jealousy for no reason or because of a misunderstanding or when anyone comes near Louis

Bad dancer that gives it his all/makes awkward shapes with his limbs when trying to dance

Cat mom/Wine aunt

Resting bitch face

Rides a motorcycle

LIAM

Little clueless

Insecure

Louis is constantly messing with him

Roommates with Louis

Puppy/a lost puppy/puppy in human form/puppy eyes/puppy who doesn’t know how hot and strong he is/loves puppies

Manly muscle man/buff af/loves working out/sweet himbo beefcake

Bullied in the past

Giant heart/incredibly kind/soft/super loyal

Worry-wart/mother hen of the band/gets nervous when things don’t go to plan

Voice of reason/the responsible one/Daddy Direction/level-headed/most serious of the five/keeps the others grounded

Doesn’t know how to let loose and have fun

Lacking in experience/innocent about sex things

Oblivious to his feelings/other people’s feelings for him

Jobs: Firefighter/boxer/athlete

Super soft for Zayn

Protective

“Wants to cry as soon as Louis opens his mouth and doesn’t know if it’s because he’s scared, because it’s too funny, or because he just can’t handle any of it.”

Fear of spoons

Timid/

“being very shy/awkward in the beginning and then getting more confident because of Louis”

Snake habitat turn around!

Can’t spell

His turtle losing a foot

“Smelly pasta house”

Loves batman

Being alpha in ABOs

Unruly curly hair then trimmed to a crisp buzz

LOUIS

Blue eyes: ocean blue/blue as the sky on a sunny winter day/twinkle eyes

Arse and/or tummy as a defining feature

Sassy/sass master/feisty/snarky/cheeky/witty/playful/funny/sarcastic/joker

Flamboyant

Heart of gold/”Louis IS the sun”

“Does not suffer fools gladly (that’s your job you fooking loosah)”/hot-headed to pick fights only in defense of those he loves

Protective/Mama bear/loyal/Daddy of the group

Small/Dainty stature emphasized

Runs fingers through his fringe/hair always styled

Jobs: Footie player, teacher, drama teacher, actor, plays in a band

Loves music and writes songs

Plays footie (even if it’s not his job)

LOUD

Can’t cook/chicken wrapped in parma/”Can’t cook to save his life and if he does the kitchen ends up in flames”

Soft with Harry

School: Studying drama, being the bad boy, pop!punk Louis

Bratty/petty/snappy

Smoking

Zayn’s partner in crime

Rooms with Liam

Calls everyone ‘love’/uses too many terms of endearment

Yorkshire accent emphasized/always talks about Doncaster

Clothing: Vans or Adidas shoes/Toms/trackies/braces/red jeans/dressing in comfortable clothes only/no socks/scarf

Very good with kids/loves kids/family-oriented/looking after siblings/having a huge family

Eats junk food only

“The gay who cannot drive”

NIALL

Drinks a lot/Drinks everyone under the table because he’s Irish/Guinness lover/fun drunk/Will sing Gaelic folk songs when drunk/big social drinker-always making friends via alcohol/will kiss anyone when drunk

Food: Eats all the food/doesn’t season his food/loves Nando’s/”100% will take the last slice of pizza and not feel bad about it”/can and will eat you out of house and home/actually eats and cooks healthy but everyone thinks the opposite

Irish/Irish and proud/Wey Hey lads!/leprechaun Niall

Carefree/nothing bothers him

Romantic: falls fast and hard

Captain Niall!/Captain of the ship(s)

Music: guitar always present/Goes into the zone when he has an instrument in his hands - nothing will distract or get through to him/The Eagles fanboy/Damien Rice fanboy

Funny/always laughing/joking around/head back cackle of a laugh

Single/hooks up with a ton of people but no serious relationships/sleeps around/Serial Ladies man/Friends with benefits with multiple people at once/

Turns up the charm 100% and never half-asses it/”Scrunches his hair in thought and knows he looks cute doing so (like girls that purposefully bite their lip)”

Friends with literally everyone/has a thousand surface-level friends that think they’re close to him but keeps all at arm’s length/the greatest friend but also pickiest about who he becomes friends with

Clothing: Constantly shirtless/shorts over trousers/flip-flops as house shoes/gold chain/coin necklace/hoop earring/”golf dad that tucks in his shirts and unironically wears polos”

Obsessed with golf and football/practices his putt in the hallway with an empty loo roll

A bro

Secretly insightful/Tactless but gives essential advice as a result

Secretive/keeps his shit quiet/Definitely the guy with the most secrets

The blond one

Hairy chest

Worst poker face

Finger guns/peace signs

Blushes when he’s excited

Adores Shawn and Lewis

Cares a lot about what others think

Says no judgment but really judges a lot/judges you based on music taste

Rings in at 0 on the gaydar but could surprise you/the only het one

Tries to avoid conflict by remaining ‘on the fence’ and not picking a side

Always the roommate

Face mask selfies

Emotions rotate between sad, sexy, and fun - combination vary

Never a villain

Close with Harry

“Violent masturbating in the next room”

Constant pet names for everyone/”Even has pet names for his devices (like his vacuum robot”

ZAYN

Super smart/nerd/wise/The Ravenclaw

Smokes a lot

Secretly very soft/gentle/biggest heart/”His confidence and aloofness hide a sensitive heart of gold”/Bad boy secretly soft

Heart-eyes at Liam/Soft with Liam/”Lee-yum”

Mysterious eyes

Best friends with Louis

Jobs: Artist, tattoo artist, English teacher who loves art, works in comic book store,

Shy/withdrawn/mysterious/brooding best friend/quiet/”Seems intimidating until you realize he’s just shy”/bad boy outside, soft boy inside/”not as cool as he seems but way sweeter”

The artistic one/tortured artist/art student/skater/also does graffiti/spray-paint

Marvel fan/comic book fan/superhero fan

Clothing: Wears his clothes like armor/leather jacket/”He’s the only one with good taste and he knows it”

Most ‘devil may care’ about his sexuality

Family-oriented/family man

Involved with his religion

Model figure/carved by gods/vain but not obnoxious about it

Catchprase is ‘sick’

Needs time alone to recharge

Changes his hair a lot/that one strand of hair that falls over his eyes

Thinks Malibu is called Malabami

“Eats candy underwear off of Harry’s crotch”

#1dclicheficfest #cliche results #resources #masterpost #character cliches

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jaggedwolf · 3 years

Text

tscosi 2x08

gotta do some rough expected value calculations under time pressure, no big

where'd those seconds go

Well, shit, guess it indeed wasn’t a simple startle response to getting shot that Arkady was having last episode

What a good little talk with McCabe, and what a sneaky little choice of hers to reveal that vulnerability to solicit McCabe’s, oldest trick in the book

I’m laughing cause after last ep I was like shit, I don’t think Park or Arkady have advice on the “shooting your best friend” experience and this episode Arkady pops up to go “jaggedwolf, you fool, of course this terrible experience has also happened to me, this is the kind of character I am, did you not get the memo”

She’s right I am a fool. Also laughing at Arkady halfway panicking and going wait don’t copy my coping mechanisms

Liked Violet’s comment on letting McCabe watch the cremation. It...feels like the returning of a favour, of when McCabe didn’t hide those worrying Juniper details they’d dug up, a sort of shared “fuck it, I’ve been lied to/blinded myself long enough, I’m not looking away now”, only flavoured by their different demeanors

McCabe joining the crew is important because they provide backup to Arkady and Violet’s instinctive morbidness, in this essay I will-

The return of McCabe’s “can I abstain?” :( :(

no time for sandwiches (ok, some time for sandwiches)

Don’t think I fully got what made Sana’s half of the crew later than Arkady’s half, when they were a day away, unless the two halves of last ep were far more staggered from each other than I assumed...but no, the Martineau half definitely didn’t know anything about San Ramos at the time

While I was easily amused at Campbell and Arkady respectively going “Captain!” and “Sana!” at Sana’s arrival, the award for cutest Sana greeting goes to Krejjh and their very excited hug

Will the ongoing theme of the show be that at the end of every season, Sana has to sacrifice her ship for the greater good? (yes yes they all voted but y’all know what I mean)

dwarnian fae

This joke while elcor hamlet is on my mind! Which shakespeare play should have an all-dwarnian cast and why is there in-universe discourse about this

Glad uni students are still dragging each other to weird experimental shows even in this IGR dystopia. Would not envy the IGR agent assigned to figure out if there’s any subversive messaging going on

Probably gotta re-listen to figure out the tone of “So we’re flying back to San Ramos?” / “Weren’t we always, bud?” What were you considering, Mr Jeeter...

100% expect something to happen to Brian’s oxygen machine. It’s right there! Making his lungs better! Can’t have that kinda peace here, no way

san ramos minutiae

“The largest remaining human city in the galaxy. “ First, ouch at remaining. Second, a fitting full circle from the earlier discussion of the IGR preferring New Jupiter to Telemachus - if they want the popular feeling for a real war, they know its the de facto center of human civilization that matters, not the de jure one. Convenient bonus of no important government buildings getting hit by a misaimed bomb

As with S1E1, English/Spanish appear to dominate the IGR’s languages. I would say that I won’t contemplate what this means for the past two centuries of human geopolitics given my complete lack of knowledge in this domain, but I am also the person who got haunted by all of the ID cards in Tacoma having Tamil but no Spanish or Chinese :P (The answer is probably that everything is appropriately local for New Jupiter/Telemachus/Tacoma station)

Minor Character MVP: David Parker won the phone tree, for simultaneously being reluctant to leave his job in the face of bombings while having an immediate hookup on spaceship theft. (Piper and Kestrel, while delightful as always, lost points for not quite correctly combining their knowledge of the footage with the ~official~ bulletin)

#mine #tscosi #tscosi spoilers #tscosi reviews

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mihrsuri · 3 years

Note

I wish you would write a fic where there’s discourse over how in ‘Golden World’, for a while, Mary becomes somewhat cold towards Cromwell once she learns about the OT3, and people are bashing her for her natural reaction. (She doesn’t taunt Cromwell that he’s disposable the way she did in one of my fics — I don’t think in actuality she’d be so verbal about it — but their relationship is strained until the Thomas Seymour attack.) Basically people calling her homophobic and irredeemable, ignoring nuance and Mary’s upbringing/trauma. Bonus points for someone Shutting the Nonsense Down.

Under a cut because uh, Fake Tumblr Discourse and also content warnings for abuse/assault and general BLEUGH

I don’t give a shit what Mary Tudor stans think about her *uwu growth* or whatever the fuck she’s a homophobic racist brat who far too many people excuse. Look at yourselves, Mary would be a fucking restorationist catholic uwu.

#she makes me sick #coercing an abuse survivor to reassure her privileged little butt #whining about how hard done by she is oh boo hoo u lost for being a bratty spoiled teenager to your half sibling #cry me a fucking ocean i don’t care #hates mihrimah and tried to break her and thomas up #like u got put in time out that’s all get the fuck over yourself

softlyoveryoungoceans

fuck yes I am so fucking tired of the *OH POOR MARY SHE IS THE HARDEST DONE BY* like have you met Princess Pippa or Tom Cromwell or LITERALLY FUCKING ANYONE ELSE.

#bitch literally got told off once in her life and couldn’t stop whining about it #ask me again why I care that a Straight had a mild inconvenience because oh yeah I don’t

Ilovellamas

If I was her parent I would have fucking yeeted her into the fucking tower and made her stay there at least until she learned to be a halfway decent human being.

Actually if you wanna read fic in that vein I can recommend this one and also this one and actually just read everything @andypersipond writes it’s brilliant.

queenlis

YES. I wanted to rec Tina because she’s my fave and also @Ilovellamass if you want to come join us in our Discord Server please get in touch.

softlyoveryoungoceans

Okay. So I think we all know that I am not Mary Tudors biggest fan but this above? This is profoundly and deeply unfair and honestly gross for a group of people who say they are about defending abuse survivors. So I want to talk about Mary Tudor.

Was her parents only living child - which yes, meant she was very much doted on and loved but I think everyone would agree that a child should be loved yes.

When she is still (and let me emphasise this) AN ACTUAL CHILD her dad is like I am going to get a divorce and marry my mistress and Mary, as again AN ACTUAL CHILD does not want to blame her dad and also sides with her mother

There’s an annulment but as it turns out her father still wants to fight to legitimise her half sibling over her. Of course Mary is hurt. OF COURSE. Of course when Henry brings Bessie Blount to meet Mary, Mary lashes out at Bessie because again she’s a CHILD who is HURTING who has had her world upended without any real warning - as far as Mary had known her parents loved each other, they adored her and were proud of her.

Now yes, Mary did say some not nice things to Bessie but again SHE WAS A SMALL CHILD. I’m sure all of us were clearly perfectly rational clear eyed adults at that age and also have never said things out of anger and hurt EVER.

(Also what she actually said was that Bessie “would only ever be my fathers mistress to me” but that she was sure that “he would tire of you and that I will be restored to my place and my bastard brother to his”)

And then Henry, who was not in his good parenting decisions place decided that Katherine had been poisoning their daughter against him and said that they would not be in contact. And yes, Mary did remain a Princess. Yes, she was lodged in luxury and comfort with people who loved her. Yes even the Emperor thought she was very well treated etc but okay, imagine being Mary’s age and not being able to see or hear from your mother who loved you. Imagine that your father, who had never been remotely angry at you before, was. That is not a small thing.

Neither is ATTEMPTED RAPE. Attempted rape and kidnapping. It was a sexual assault and to diminish the horror of that is to play some kind of bullshit trauma olympics and I refuse to do so.

Now I have written a lot of meta critical of Mary about the homophobia and I stand by it but I also want to say this - She Evolved. She absolutely evolved and more than that she embraced her queer family deeply. This is not a ‘you have to forgive people who have hurt you because they changed’ thing because no you don’t but as far as we know - the most Mary was was just colder to Thomas Cromwell for time. None of her siblings ever talk about Mary being anything other than supportive - yes her diary has some Feelings but again that was her diary that she did not intend for other people to see. She worked through it and I do think that crediting progress matters.

(For the debunking/discussion re Mihrimah see my ‘golden world meta’ tag)

Finally. Okay, look no one knows what was actually said between Thomas Cromwell and Mary Tudor that night after Thomas ‘DIAF’ Seymour happened though I think The Tudors depicted it beautifully (James and Sarah were just incredible) but what little we do know (Mary’s diaries, Pippa’s letters to her spouses and Mihrimah’s writings) says that Thomas Cromwell did in fact volunteer. In The Tudors when Mary asks it’s clear that it’s an ask, not an order - in fact they are very much beyond the stage where Mary could just order him and they both know it.

What happened, in all probability is what happened on screen. That a good and kind person offered solace to a young woman in pain.

#I wrote a tag novel again didn’t I #I feel very strongly about this #if anything Mary might be a former restorationist who grew up knowing nothing else and got out once she did #she changed and I think that’s EXTREMELY IMPORTANT TO NOTE #like i am not actually a Mary fan particularly #but we needed to see her as an actual person you know

semperlyqueerly

#fic #ot3: political power trio #lil and her ridiculous aus #tv: the tudors

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