mihrsuri

[mihrsuri]

raised secular patrilineal Jewish culture is growing up never feeling Jewish enough, but then when you finally start meeting and befriending other Jews as an adult they still accept you and sometimes you want to cry from how wonderful it is

i'm so glad to be part of this people, even if there's a lot i don't know that i wish i'd been taught growing up. i'm glad i have the chance to learn it now- if i can get past the anxiety enough to, y'know, talk to people about it :')

we love you!! <3

#a mood a mood such a mood #everyone has been so lovely #jewish things

[mihrsuri]

@ruffboijuliaburnsides

thisispattismith: This is saying I was

moved to be

mentioned in

the company

of the great

Welsh poet

Dylan Thomas.

Thank you Taylor.

@taylorswift

#music: taylor swift #that is incredibly cool actually

[mihrsuri]

elizabeth to cecil: i’m having his baby, no im not but you should see your face

#lils tudor feels

[mihrsuri]

I am going to get that brownie actually. In the spirit of nurturing myself. And it will be the good brownie as well.

#small victories are nice #with cream and raspberry sauce and ice cream #and chocolate as well #i will not clean i do not have to be productive

[mihrsuri]

@emilykaldwen

#also many mutuals #pretty things

[mihrsuri]

I just I cannot conceive that I have friends for the long haul, who love me, who like me who do feel I have to earn food, water or anything or that I am inherently just an abusive fuckdoll headed for hell. Like, sometimes that alone makes me go O_o let alone that people! Multiple people! Care for me! Would protect me! Call me a princess when I’m obviously a [redacted]! Talk about me in a positive way! Like I’m still not over the whole gifts thing!

#lil is a sap #no seriously will never be over it ever #my brain at base is like ‘it’s a fuckdoll it’s not a person it’s not allowed to be it’s abusive and disgusting’ #and i have these people who have like stayed #g-d

[mihrsuri]

Anyway @mythopoetry I am sending you love my pocket friend/mutual 🩷

#saati tag

[mihrsuri]

This is a big vent

All I can do is hold on, even when my brain screams to not, to shut up it’s a stupid fuckdoll. That is all I can do. I just, I don’t know how to write because all I can hear is all the training that it’s disgusting garbage. That it’s not allowed to have a voice. And I have to try to hold on to myself and it’s so hard tumblr, I’m sorry for dumping this out but it’s so hard. I have sort of realised that I spent a lot of years from I don’t even know but most acutely from 2008-2016(ish) just dissociated the whole time. Like I was doing things, I was Functioning and I was dissociated I was back there and it wasn’t like an hallclucination it was like..I wasn’t in my body I wasn’t a self. I didn’t know what that was I was just Back There and I didn’t know when it was happening but I knew it happened and yet how could I be doing badly I was Functioning! I was a Good Doll! And I look back and it’s just…my eyes were dead and I denied because I had no concept of being allowed to be a person.

And some days some days it’s so so hard and my wrists and hands hurt from chains that have not been there for years and I don’t even know if that’s a thing.

#i didn’t ask for this cptsd and no tshirt was offered #abuse tw #suicide tw #csa tw #i am holding on though i am #i want to be clear i just…unfortunately talking about it in this way helps #it drains the poison #i need this somewhat less now #but yeah

[mihrsuri]

#actual luthien come to earth

[mihrsuri]

The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived by Taylor Swift x The Six Wives of Henry VIII

#lils tudor feels

[mihrsuri]

Cromwell and More in Wolf Hall are gay: a powerpoint

Link here

Sorry Idk how to turn powerpoint slides into images on here.

@tenderbittersweet

@green-like-the-sky

@tarseus

@cinemaocd

#they have this in the tudors as well #(though possibly just putting jeremy and james in the same space thing) #anyway this is brilliant #tv: wolf hall

[mihrsuri]

@kawuli the Eowyn crush is SO REAL (and then obviously I had my bisexual ones and then book!Arwen was both a crush and my secret goal)

#lil the tolkien #and obviously i was also into liv tyler #but book!arwen was like i love her

[mihrsuri]

My current favourites actually

#music: taylor swift #not included: some extensive assigning to blorbos but that might happen

[mihrsuri]

Gonna reblog every single winter soldier post that crosses my dash like it's 2014 happy ten year anniversary Steve and Bucky sure was weird that they just stopped making marvel movies after winter soldier but best to end on a high note I think

#m: mcu

[mihrsuri]

Stevie Nicks wrote a poem for “THE TORTURED POETS DEPARTMENT”

#music: taylor swift #I AM !!!!!

[mihrsuri]

I really want dessert by which I mean a warm brownie with ice cream and cream and possibly also chocolate sauce.

#lil and her boring life #just want a really good brownie

[mihrsuri]

sry just gathering data

#mostly the quiet kid but i wasn’t forced to be social #polls #(i was kind of like i just hid away mostly :/)