#The characters from my comfort anime need more therapy than I do

[valleyofdeaddandelions7]

Questionable life choices wins!

My favorite comfort anime is about a traumatized,monotone,religious,mentally unstable 13 year old befriending an illiterate serial killer who pukes rainbows and together they go on this horror,Alice In Wonderland-esque journey to escape the building that they are trapped in.

#Can you see how edgy i am? #Ir should i scream it louder ? #Idk why i always keep coming back to angels of death #It's just so nostalgic for me #Maybe it's cuz it was one of the first anime's i watched ? #I mean while knowing it was anime #Like geniully why????? #Sometimes i wish the series was longer #I know that there's a game too #Maybe i should stop rewatching the anime again and again and read the manga #13 year old me really thought she was better than the edgy kids yet she was obsessed with this shit #Can you say ✨ OBLIVIOUS ✨ #satsuriku no tenshi #Anime #angels of death #Idk what else to tag #The characters from my comfort anime need more therapy than I do #comfort anime #comfort characters #comfort media

[temis-de-leon]

MC with a selfish best friend

MC mourning the loss of a long toxic friendship with the help of the brothers.

Characters: demon brothers and fem!MC (written as platonic, but could be read as romantic)

Masterlist

CW: continued discussion about weight gain and weight loss, eating as a coping mechanism, obssesive and manipulative behaviour, emotional blackmail, a glimpse of animal neglect, a tiny nod at suicide, MC trying to hide her feelings, anxiety, TLC from the brothers

A/N: kind of self insert because I'm writing my own experience, so this isn't the most relatable MC. Still, I hope you enjoy it! Remember I'm not a native english speaker, so there might be some grammar mistakes.

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Back then, not that long ago, MC was completely sure she wouldn’t go any further in life. She was stuck in college, in her family and her friend group. There was a dynamic she could work through and, although it could be better, she wasn’t one to complain.

It was a flooded basement with filthy water, but at least it lacked rats.

She just needed some time to start working on herself. Go to therapy, lose some weight maybe? Start cooking again and stop wasting money on fast food. She did use to enjoy spending time in the kitchen and experimenting, after all, but the only things she cooked during her last months in the human realm were mugcakes and pasta. Not necessarily nutritious, but easy to make.

Thank god she had her best friend.

Her companion in the basement, the one with the flashlight.

MC wished she let her hold her hand too.

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.

“She’s overthinking again. Not good”

“Look who’s talking”

“Hey! It was just a joke!”

“Should we talk to her?”

“Maybe when she comes back, else we’ll give her a heart attack”

“Yeah, Lucifer would kill us”

“Oh, so now we’re doing this for Lucifer?”

“Don’t be selfish, Mammon”

“Who ya calling selfish?”

“Ugh”

MC listened carefully, softly smiling at Beel and Levi’s voices drowning Mammon’s in an almost silent screaming match.

She couldn’t see them from her position, her upper body completely sprawled over the armrest and her line of sight lost in the ashes of the chimney. The fire cracked, threatening to die in front of her, but it was difficult to get up when her body weighted so much. She was tired and hungry and nauseous and even the idea of sitting straight sent bile to her mouth.

Then someone walked into the common room, shushing harshly and getting the other brothers to cease their fighting. Whoever it was, probably Lucifer or Satan, must have thought she was asleep.

So MC closed her eyes, hiding her face in the crook of her arm and basking in the comfortable silence. She could hear them still; the shuffle of cards, a plastic wrapper, buttons and joysticks.

The newcomer got close to her, covering her body with a blanket and sitting at her feet before opening a book. There was enough space in the couch for at least two more people, but MC still curled up, trying to make more room for him. She stopped in her tracks when he grabbed her ankle in a gentle grip, a gesture that brought some warmth where her pants didn’t reach.

Would someone add another log for the fire? Everyone seemed too comfortable to move.

At least the blanket was thick. Pure hellish wool or something, because every animal in the Devildom was just a bigger scarier version of those in the human realm. It was also, however, softer than any type of textile she could’ve ever find back home, so the creature could spit fire for all she cared.

Suddenly, the brother caressing her ankle tightened his grip for a short moment, demanding her attention. When MC opened her eyes, she found Satan smiling at her with no one else in the room. She must’ve fallen asleep after all.

“Dinner is ready”

He let her stretch, unconsciously comparing her to a cat when she arched her back and cracked every possible bone in her body. Satan wondered if that ever hurt, but MC seemed to enjoy it very much whenever she had the occasion to do so, like when they came home from classes after a long day or when they bought groceries for the whole week and Beel. 

“Did you not sleep well last night?”

“Not for a while, no”

“Is that so? Something troubling you, MC? Anything I can help with?”

“I don’t know”

She sounded sincere, but Satan didn’t buy it. Only a month had passed since MC came back to the Devildom, looking a bit more tired than when she left at the end of the first year of the program, and she’d acted ecstatic when she learnt she would be living with them again.

He was sure the problem relied in her human phone, something she didn’t have last year and Diavolo had kindly allowed her to keep.

All of his brothers, even the eldest, were greatly impressed when MC showed them how she unlocked the device with her fingerprints, as well as the human versions of Devilgram, Deviltube and Akuzon. That was a fun day, but time passed and soon the phone became an inconvenience. Someone at the other side of the line was taking their beloved human’s time, leaving her exhausted in the aftermath of their conversations and, if Satan vision’s was correct, teary eyed.

That would not continue. Not on his watch.

“We’ll look into it in another moment. Right now, let’s go with the others. Aren’t you hungry?”

“God, yes!”

They both chuckled and he forced his thoughts away. They could wait for the time being.

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Beel didn’t judge her, but she didn’t feel as happy as she thought she would whenever they sneaked in the kitchen at the late hours of the night.

Opening the fridge door with slow movements, trying not to make noise while taking plates or bowls and eating in silence between giggles and short whispers brought a sort of familiarity. And Beel never judged MC. Why would he? He ate even more than her. He’d keep going long after she was finished, full enough to want to puke everything, and MC would feel a wicked satisfaction knowing that no matter how much she ate, there was someone that would eat much more.

Those nights she’d go to bed feeling sick and greasy, too regretful and high on sugar to be tired. Then, by morning, she’d force herself to eat breakfast and go on with her day just to get whatever sense of normality she could reach.

Although, lately, things had been slightly different.

They still got together at night and filled their mouths to the brim, but Beel was adamant about MC going to the gym with him when the morning came, before everyone was out of bed. Of course she’d said no since the beginning, but he kept insisting, saying she didn’t have to exercise if she didn’t want to.

MC still said no.

Then Asmodeus put his input.

“I’m not going to tell you what to do, hon’, but you aren’t getting your 8 hours of sleep and you’re adding calories during the night. That’s horrible for your skin!”

And had it been her mother saying that, MC would’ve lashed out, rejecting opinions she’d been hearing for years over and over and over again, but this was Asmo. The Avatar of Lust. The most beautiful demon in the entire Devildom. MC guessed she wasn’t being fair to her mother, who also loved her and hated seeing her so sick and tired all the time, when it was Asmo she couldn’t ignore.

“I get anxious when I go to bed” she finally confessed.

MC could feel Satan’s eyes on her, but he stayed silent.

“Spend the night with me” intervened Belphie with an honest smile, a muted worry in his eyes “I could make you so tired you wouldn’t want to get out of bed”

“No way!”

Everyone looked at Mammon and several sighs filled the room. The demon, although deeply blushing, kept talking with an overbearing smugness.

“If someone’s gonna sleep with her, it’s gonna be me! Don’t worry MC, the Great Mammon will chase the nightmares away!”

“I think sleeping with you would give her nightmares, actually”

Mammon turned to Levi, ready to swing at his brother, but MC talked before the fight started.

“It’s not nightmares, Mams, I just feel anxious. You know, like, I can’t stop thinking”

“About what?”

She looked at Satan, who was staring at her with a calculating glance, surely remembering what she told him days before when she fell asleep on the couch.

“I don’t know… Everything, I guess”

All of them stayed silent, ignoring what they were previously doing. It didn’t feel uncomfortable, but MC wished someone said anything.

Of course, Mammon spoke first.

“Well, that’s a lot”

“No shit, you moron”

Levi finally got smacked and the rest of them went back to do their own thing, letting MC’s lack of sleep behind. A part of her wanted to keep the conversation going, but she felt too embarrassed when she tried to open her mouth again, especially having Satan looking at her like a hawk.

You don't want me to stare at you? I want to. What's the problem?

She achieved to ignore him in the end.

That night she stayed in her room, pacing, chewing her sweatshirt’s aglet while humming that Phineas and Ferb’s song and turning her headphone’s volume to the maximum with a different music threatening to deteriorate her hearing.

Anything to distract herself and not go to the kitchen.

Finally, hours after bidding the brothers goodnight, MC threw herself on the bed. Her feet were aching, its footprints surely engraved in the carpet, and she forgot to take her headphones off, making the position uncomfortable, but the important thing was that she didn’t have the need to eat anymore.

However, Beel still knocked her door at dawn.

MC stared at him when she opened, bleary-eyed and mouth as dry as cotton, the hem of her pyjama pants so high they looked like pantaloons. He, on the other hand, was completely awake and seemed ready to conquer the day.

“Before you say anything, I’m not going to the gym today”

There was a heavy silence for a couple of seconds.

“Then why did you wake me up? We have classes tomorrow”

Beel stared at her with a worried expression.

“We don’t. It’s Saturday”

“Ah”

She could’ve sleep longer? MC wished she was mad at him, but his puppy stare was hypnotizing.

“I want to go for a walk today. And I want you to come with me”

He lowered his gaze for a moment, biting his cheek while waiting for an answer. MC turned around and looked at the window, still unable to decipher what time it was by looking at the sky.

There were a few things MC missed from the human realm. The sun was one of them.

“We could go to the park, feed some birds and then have breakfast somewhere else. I swear I won’t eat the seeds this time"

She chuckled, rolling her eyes when he smiled back. Then she looked down at the rolled pants and her bare legs.

“Is it cold?”

“I don’t think so, but you can borrow my jacket”

MC sighed and rubbed her eyes, waiting until the white spots disappeared before walking towards her closet. She wouldn’t be able to fall asleep again, she knew that.

“Let me change and then we’re going. But you owe me one, Beel!”

His smile was too wide for him to answer.

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.

Breakfast with Beel ended up lasting three whole hours, which was understandable, and they spent the whole time talking about nothing and almost everything, both of them clearly avoiding the subject of her sleeping habits.

MC really did want to talk about it, but then again, what did she want to talk about exactly? She had trouble falling asleep, yes, and she’d gone back to eating her feelings, but she couldn’t point out the reason. Her nights were filled with paranoia, making her revaluate every piece of interaction she’d had since she got back home from the Devildom months ago. Did she spoke correctly? Did people understand that she was just studying abroad and not begging for attention?

She hoped her best friend dropped those accusations. MC would never stoop so low. Just thinking about it brought tears to her eyes.

“Don’t you want anything else?”

MC looked at Beel and the stack of plates surrounding him at the table, mugs and cardboard boxes stained with chocolate, whipped cream and frosting. Her side of the booth was much cleaner, but when she lowered her gaze the only thing she could think of were mugcakes and pasta and the taste of bile in her mouth at the sight of her bloated stomach.

“No, I’m fine”

She knew he loved her. She knew she could talk to him and he would listen and maybe even hold her hand, but the small restaurant was already filled with demons and witches and whatnot and MC knew she’d only be able to sob the moment she’d open her mouth, so she stayed quiet.

Beel nodded, going back to his food with a strange calmness. Maybe he was close to being full?

But no, it wasn’t that.

MC gasped when she felt his foot weakly tapping hers before going under it to support its weight. A small comfort, like the prelude of a long awaited hug.

He didn’t know how much she appreciated it.

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Winter had already reached the Devildom the day MC opened her closet and stared at her clothes. No matter what she chose, everything was at least a size bigger.

She guessed finally going to the gym with Beel did have some payoff.

“Is something wrong, MC?”

Asmo turned the lights of her bathroom off, walking where she was silently standing while staring at the discarded clothes around her.

“You don’t feel like dressing up today? We can stay home and do some self-care if you want”

MC turned around to look at him with gratitude. She knew how much he wanted to go shopping, especially with her. Finals ended just the day before and everyone had been so occupied they’d barely seen each other outside classes and meal times.

“Don’t worry, it’s not that. It’s just that… everything feels wrong. I think I lost weight”

He chuckled at her revelation, hugging her waist and kissing her cheek between giggles.

“You’re taking care of yourself, silly! Whatever are you doing with Beel in the gym, I wonder…?”

She laughed and lightly hit his arm, showing no ill intent, and Asmo smiled in response, not bothering to hide his lewd expression.

“Don’t be nasty!”

 “Oh, I’m just joking! But you know what this means, right? We get to renew your whole closet!”

MC turned around again, perfectly knowing that she could either spent her monthly allowance on clothes or start thinking on how she could rock the oversize streetwear style.

She sighed, trying to hide her smile with no success before speaking again. Asmo’s eyes were stuck on her.

“Very well, then” she wasn’t finish talking yet when the demon clapped his hands and jumped in excitement “I’ll trust your criteria”

He gasped and hit her arm in return.

“As you should!”

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“So… how do I look?”

Mammon whistled, clapping and signalling her to turn around in response. Once she did a little twirl, he clapped even harder, not stopping even when she blushed in embarrassment and ran towards him to stop his overly excited appreciation.

“You look mighty fine, MC!”

“Stop!”

“Has anyone ever told you how hot you look?”

“Stop!!”

They were both laughing, her chasing him all around his room with burning cheeks and a gigantic smile.

The shopping bags waited patiently at the door, half of them already empty with a pile of clothes folded on the couch. Mammon had insisted on a private catwalk the moment he learnt she’d gone shopping with Asmo, his offense completely gone barely half an hour after starting the show in his room.

Every time she changed in his opened closet he’d cover his eyes with his hands and every time she came out with a new outfit he’d scream praises like a madman.

MC wasn’t used to this level of compliments and he sure was making it hard to stay calm.

“C’mon, go change again!”

“You’re acting insane right now, Mams”

She was smiling like crazy and her cheeks were hurting, but she didn’t want it to stop. When was the last time someone had been this hyped over her looking pretty? She couldn’t remember.

Then her phone rang.

MC stopped smiling when she saw the name on the screen.

She thought about answering and spoiling a nice evening because of a sour one-sided conversation. Was it worth it? Sure her friend could wait a couple more hours, right? She’d survived without MC the whole year she spent at the Devildom uncommunicated, after all.

“Is it The Unnameable?”

MC stared at her phone for one more second before turning around to look at Mammon, who was kneeling on the couch with his arms crossed over the backrest, eyes peeking with curiosity and another feeling she couldn’t identify.

“The Unname… Robdemor??”

He nodded, blushing and looking away.

“Yeah. You know, like, her name brings bad luck or some shit”

“She doesn’t bring bad luck”

MC didn’t sound as convincing as she wanted to and Mammon’s incredulity proved her point.

“Don’t be stupid, MC”

The pot calling the kettle back, she wanted to say, but no words came to her mouth. She was being stupid, wasn’t she? Everyone at the house already knew what to expect whenever her phone ringed or vibrated and they always did their best to distract her so she could leave the damn thing behind. She suspected Belphie even turned it off at one point.

Staring at her feet, trying to voice her feelings, MC talked again.  

“She just… needs me sometimes”

“Sometimes??”

Mammon got up, going around the couch to reach her. He looked flabbergasted, eyes opened wide and a myriad of words stuck in his throat.

The phone stopped ringing, but soon a flood of messages interrupted the silence to call for her attention instead. When she looked back at Mammon, he had frustration in his eyes.

She decided then she couldn’t bear to see him like this, so serious and reasonable. Was it too late to go back to chasing each other, laughing while trying new clothes? She’d been capable of keeping her feelings to herself since she could remember, but Mammon wouldn’t let her do that and she feared the moment the rest of the brothers decided enough was enough too.

God, she needed to talk, but not right now. Talking would make it real and she still wasn’t strong enough for the whole situation to be real.

In a matter of seconds her eyes were watering and she felt as if her throat had thorns stuck in her flesh, but before she could do anything about it there were arms wrapping around her. MC wasted no time hugging Mammon back, trying her hardest not to spoil any tears. The tags in the back of her new shirt poked her skin, making her squirm and get even closer to Mammon’s body.

He was rocking her side to side while petting her hair and there was no doubt he’d deny the whole ordeal happening afterwards, but she let herself enjoy the feeling anyways. It was nice being taken care of.

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It was the first time MC had gone to bed so early since before college. Her eyelids felt heavy and the bed was soft and comfortable, at least three blankets shielding her from the cold outside that froze her window and sunk her room in darkness.

But she couldn’t stop staring at her phone.

She’d turned the vibration off days ago, but that didn’t stop the notifications from showing up on the lock screen and, although she could also take care of that, MC still wanted to be able to read the messages without needing to open the app.

Her best friend talked about everything, good or bad. Mostly bad. How she thought her boyfriend was cheating on her, even when she was the one cheating on him, how much she was eating because there was no one to stop her, how tired she was to even clean her cat’s litter box. She’d say if MC were there everything would be so much better, she wouldn’t feel so lonely.

She didn’t ask about MC once.

“You’re thinking so hard it’s giving me a headache”

MC’s body violently jerked at Belphie’s voice.

He’d entered the room in silence, closing the door and approaching her bed without making any noise. Seeing her freaking out made him snicker, but he was too tired to fully laugh and simply laid down next to her.

“Jesus, Belphie”

“No, just me”

“Ha ha ha”

Her sarcasm didn’t affect him in the slightest. MC watched as he closed his eyes and offered his hand to held hers in a firm grasp, probably not wanting to let her go during the night.

“Turn that damn thing off” he growled against the pillow when a new message showed up.

“I’ve seen you sleep on the ground before; you can’t complain about some light”

“Watch me”

She thought he was just joking, challenging her like a small child would, but Belphie managed to surprise her when he rolled over her body, grabbed the phone and threw it to the other side of the room.

“Belphie!”

He shushed, sealing her lips under his hand before hugging her body with all four limbs, trapping her under the covers.

MC could’ve complained and hit him until he let her go to retrieve the phone, but that would’ve meant pissing him off and staring at the screen for another hour or until her friend decided it was time to show some interest in MC’s life.

…

Whoa.

…

So that’s what it was.

That simple, uh?

MC waited for something to happen at her epiphany. Nausea, panic, heavy breathing. Instead, she felt an overpowering sense of relief. Her heartbeat evened and the frown she didn’t know she had in her forehead disappeared.

No headache, no memories. For once, no nothing.

“You’re not dying, aren’t you?”

Belphie’s head rose, looking at her with suspicion, but her eyes were stuck in the ceiling.

“Why? Would you feel guilty?

He stood over her then, pouting and frowning, and MC had to stop herself from laughing.

“Okay, you know what? I already said I was sorry. You can’t hold that against me for the rest of your life”

“I will as long as I can get something out of it”

“You’re evil”

“Said the demon”

His head fell face first on the pillow with a thud and if she didn’t know him any better, she’d be worried about him suffocating to death during the night.

“Why did you ask that, tho?” MC finally talked.

“Your heart stopped for a second” he shrugged and mumbled, his hold on her hand stronger than before.

“Oh… Well… Don’t worry. I’m okay”

“Are you sure?”

No, not really, but she didn’t want to talk about it in that moment. Maybe another time, when her speech wasn’t slurred due to sleep and she could organize her thoughts with a clear mind.

She hummed as an answer before speaking one last time.

“Goodnight, Belphie”

“Sweet dreams, MC”

He’d make sure of that.

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MC had been quiet for a while. Not out of sadness nor ire, but something much more private. Something that left her pensive and still, staring into nothing with a serious expression. She laughed and talked with the brothers and, from what he heard, she enjoyed going to the gym with Beel, but Lucifer knew there was another factor escaping his reach.

Whatever it was, it changed MC for the better, so he was happy.

Even when the strangest ideas crossed her mind.

“I think I’m going to cut my hair”

He looked at her, clicking his tongue in disapproval when he saw her sitting sideways in one of the chairs with her feet resting in the other. She had a book resting in her lap. How long had she been looking at him and not reading?

“May I ask why?”

“I need a change”

Lucifer stared, taking his glasses off before crossing his arms over the document he was previously reading. MC got up and walked, zigzagging her way towards his desk as if she was drunk, but she looked as hopeful as ever.

“Did something happen?”

She nodded, ignoring his question right after.

“One of these days I’m just gonna… grab a glass of wine, go to the bathroom and bam! Haircut”

He raised an eyebrow, trying to hide a smile at her words. He hadn’t seen her so playful in months and the sudden change felt like a breath of fresh air.

“Do you even like wine, MC?”

“That’s not the point”

“And you shouldn’t use scissors while drunk, especially near your head” he ignored her “If it’s money you’re worried about, I can pay for a good hairdresser”

She laughed and shook her head, partially sitting on the desk. They stayed silent for a few seconds and Lucifer let himself observe her, how she bit her bottom lip deep in thought and how her fingers intertwined with a certain force. She was probably hurting herself at that point.

“I just really need a change”

He could tell there was more she wanted to say, but that seemed to be enough for the moment. The silence afterwards felt full with comfort.

“That’s fine”

MC nodded and sent him a small smile before going back to the chair, this time sitting with her knees stuck to her chest, but before he could put his glasses on to continue his work, she spoke again.

“Here’s what we’re going to do: I cut my hair in the bathroom and then you take me to the hairdresser to style it. Sounds good?”

“Are you going to drink while using the scissors?”

“I’m not a child, Lucifer”

“Might as well”

“Hey!”

“Just joking” he laughed, but MC could tell there was some seriousness behind his smile.

“I drink wine, I cut my hair and you check I don’t stab myself on accident, how about that?”

Lucifer pondered about it, envisioning himself behind her and watching over her reflection in the mirror, a bottle of wine in the countertop and another of Demonus waiting for them in the music room. She’d be the one to clean the aftermath, that bit was obvious, but something told him she wouldn’t really care about that.

The more he thought about it, the less strength he had to fight it. She could’ve asked Asmodeus or Mammon, but she asked him. MC wanted him to be with her during her progress, as stupid as the method was.

“Sounds like a plan to me, MC”

Her smile at his words was worth millions.

.

.

It wasn’t until several hours had passed that MC wondered if Levi invited her to his room with a hidden motive in mind.

The anime came out less than a day ago and she’d never even seen an ad about it, but he’d thoroughly claimed it was made for her.

And she could see why he would say that, honestly.

Sure, no ancient dying star granted her any mystical powers that allowed her to soar the skies or wear an alarmingly short sparkly dress; and she didn’t have an animal sidekick or a romantic interest that only appeared at night for some reason. She didn’t have an arch nemesis either, but she did have the closest thing.

MC was the selfish one, apparently, because how could she? How could MC have the audacity to ignore her best friend’s messages in her desperate times of need? Her boyfriend broke up with her because he discovered the cheating and no one was there to remind her of feeding the cat, neither to monitor her diet nor to fix the consequences of her bad decisions. She was in the lowest point of her life and MC dared to lose weight and spend time with her new friends? Outrageous!

MC unlocked her phone and stared in silence at the new text and voice messages, as well as some missed calls.

You disappoint me, MC.

After all I did for you?

I’ll die and it’ll be your fault.

I’ll die and I’ll make sure you’re the one to discover my body.

You’ll never be able to forget about me then.

You’re disgusting.

MC stared at the screen, not knowing if she should laugh or cry about it. In the end she chuckled and forced down the sting in her throat.

The TV in front of her suddenly turned into a kaleidoscope and she squinted as the heroine jumped from platform to platform, blasting her wand and singing spells. If she understood correctly, the cheery character was fighting her way through the first big boss of the season, her friends close behind her.

She could feel Levi’s eyes on her, no doubt studying her reactions to see if she liked the anime as much as he did.

“Hey, Henry!”

MC turned to look at him and smiled brightly at his rosy cheeks. She expected him to explain some hidden lore or the meaning behind the soundtrack, but he surprised her with his next words.

“Yeah?”

“I haven’t told you yet, but your hair looks so cool!”

“Oh!” she widely opened her eyes in appreciation, showing her teeth in a beaming smile right after “Thanks, Levi!”

“You look… eh… upgraded. Well, no, not upgraded. Erm…” he avoided her gaze for the next few seconds before pausing the anime, letting the room go back to silence. MC kept quiet, trying not to laugh at his awkwardness so he wouldn’t misunderstand the situation.

“You look really pretty, MC. Even better than her”

Levi nodded at the TV and MC stared at the heroine, the pause conveniently showing her winning pose. Big sparkly eyes winking at her and a knowing smile occupying half of her face, as if she was approving Levi’s affirmation.

MC felt the need to cry right then and there, but she held it in.

Her phone lighted up one last time before she grabbed it and turned it off in anger. She had a couple of seconds before the screen permanently went back to black, letting her read the last message.

Who do you think you are? How could you do this to me?

MC seethed. She knew who she was, even if she was still learning. Her hands itched and she forced herself not to throw the phone on the ground with all her strength. She still needed it to talk to other friends and relatives, after all.

After an entire minute filled with tense silence, MC spoke, suddenly meek and shy.

 “Hey Lev…”

“MC?”

He was staring her with caring eyes, unsure of what to do or what to say.

Fortunately, for the first time in a long while, MC knew what she needed to do. For herself and no one else.

“Would you help me change my phone number?”

She could write down the numbers of those she cared about the most and send a message asking them not to share hers without her permission.

Take care of her arch nemesis without destroying the entire world. Accept the help of people who showed joy at her improvement. Buy new clothes, change her style, cut her hair.

God, walking without that heavy weight on her shoulders would be difficult and painful, but she’d rather die before letting her ex best friend destroy her will and power one last time.

She laughed with a choke and Levi gasped her name.

She was crying.

.

.

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@ourfinalisation

#obey me #obey me! shall we date? #om! shall we date #om! swd #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmo #obey me asmodeus #obey me beel #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphie #obey me belphegor #obey me writing #obey me x reader #obey me x female reader #obey me hurt/comfort #obey me angst #obey me fluff

[queenothegeeks]

Awkward creator Drabble

Awkward creator drabbles part 2 

If you have any ideas for characters you want to see, put it in the comments, or send in an ask. (Warning, this was written before Arlecchinos release, so pls be nice.)

After arriving in Teyvat, you had gotten swarmed with letters asking you (the creator) to come to everything under the sun. Plays, meetings, weddings, requests from all sorts of nobel and rich people, but you always declined. Not only because you knew you would freak out and be awkward, but because you didn’t feel like you would fit into that high-end and stuffy air, where everyone is trying to outdo one another, whether it be with their outfits, their hair, their gold and gems, and their property. But what happens when you get a letter you can’t refuse? 

*Arlecchino edition*

When you got a letter that was sealed with the familiar mark of the Fatui, your heart skipped a beat. Up until now, everything had all been from people you didn’t know, and therefore, in your mind, were not powerful enough or important enough to care about going to meet with them. But Fatui, as you know, was not someone you should ignore. But, instead of a message requesting a fight from Childe or a meeting request from the Tsaritsa herself, it was a mere invitation to a tea party the Knave was holding. 

Deciding to respond, you picked up your quill (you still didnt know how to use it properly), you wrote a letter back to the knave, hoping it sounded professional enough, accepting her invite, and detailing how excited you were, while also asking if there would be any others attending that you should be aware of, and if there was a dress code (god forbid you show up in sweatpants to a formal event). 

A few days later, you got a letter back. It stated that you should “wear whatever felt comfortable” (whatever that means) and that it would be just the two of you, along with a few guards, though they were mostly going to be there for show. Obviously, you took “dress comfortably” as a “you must not have a hair out of place” and panicked slightly, worrying about what to wear. After tearing your closet apart, a mental breakdown or two, and a one way therapy session with a stuffed animal a random kid had given you, you set out.

 (Imagine whatever outfit you want, bc i want to remain gn and be comfortable for everyone) 

When you arrived, your jaw hit the floor. “A simple gathering” my foot! You suddenly felt very self conscious, picking at your outfit and nails, feeling out of place. You were led in by a masked guard, who brought you to a room with 2 massive couches, and more food than you could reasonably eat on a table in between them.

“The knave will be here shortly. She thanks you in advance for your patience, she is merely checking the perimeter of the building. Enjoy your tea party” 

They said, quickly leaving the room, presumably to return to their place guarding the building. 

“Thanks, you too!”

Realizing what you said, you were suddenly very glad they left as fast as they did. After waiting for a little while, Arlecchino walked in, not a hair out of place, walking with purpose.

“Thank you for waiting for your grace. I had some…issues that needed to be taken care of.”

“It's not a problem at all!” 

You quickly interjected.

“Pardon my question, but was there a specific reason you wished to meet with me?”

“Do I need a reason to speak with the creator, and thank them for all they have done for this world? Or a reason to hopefully make an alliance?” She said,

“Nononono- not at all. It was just because I know back where I’m from, you would use tea time as a way to get important information across. With the prophecy approaching and everything, I was wondering if that's why you called upon me.” 

“You would be correct. I’ll admit, I was a bit surprised you agreed to meet with me, considering you haven’t met with anyone else, no matter how important.”

You tensed a bit, not liking her tone. It wasn’t threatening, but it seemed like she knew more about you than the fact you hadn’t met with other people. Wait a minute…how did she know that?

“How did you know that?”

“Know what?”

“You said I haven't met anyone else. You aren’t wrong, I haven’t. But the public doesn’t know that. In fact, one glance at any newspaper, and it's boasting about how “the creator themself was there”.  

You started to ramble, your brain not worrying about being high end or fancy. The only thing on your mind was piecing together the information, just like how you would whenever a new genshin trailer or quest would come out. 

“The only way you would have the truth would be if you were hella good at catching someone in a lie or just calling bs, which I know you are, or that you assigned people to watch me, which, using the information I have about you based on stuff from my world, wouldn’t be that far off. The House of the Hearth is very versatile, so it wouldn’t be a stretch to say you could implant your children, and- you're smiling.” 

“I didn’t truly know if you hadn’t met with anyone else. I was mostly seeing if you would reveal any information about these nobel’s if you had, if you were any good at lying that you had or hadn't gone, or, seeing if you would reveal things you knew about me, thereby showing the extent of your knowledge about this world and its people. Now, back to the topic from before, now that I know you are aware of who I am, tell me, what's going to happen to Fontaine, and how do I save it?”

Oh sh*t. 

#genshin impact #arlecchino genshin #sagau #sagau brainrot #the brainrot is real #self aware genshin

[lily-s-world]

I finished Sex Education, and I loved the ending, but there are 3 characters arcs that I feel deeply appreciation for and that is the Groff’s. As someone that is the only one that goes to therapy in a family that is emotionally broken and loves to bury their issues, their growth was like a dream come true for me.

Starting with Maureen, who is presented as this submissive housewife; it must had been extremely challenging and terrifying for her to ask her husband for the divorce because that was the life she knew, but by doing so, her life improved completely. She was able to discover that life could be enjoyed in so many ways, and that not everything needed to revolve around her family, just because she was a mother.  She got herself on dates with nice guys, learned new things and went to amazing parties, and that lifted her confidence. And that new confidence was a key part on understanding that she couldn’t go back with her husband, unless he also fixed himself and the relationship with his son. Maureen really went “I do miss you and may want to get back but learn to be a father first”; and I love her for that.

Adam growth wasn’t linear, it took a lot of hits and heartbreak before he reached the self-love he required. I was never a fan of Eric and Adam, because I really despise the bully to lover’s arc; but I did was a fan of seeing Adam get out of his bully self and grow into a better person. Accepting his bisexuality was probably the first step for him to start analyzing himself outside of what his parents taught, that gave him more confidence in himself and made him realize that maybe school wasn’t for him. That he was good with animals and could get a job and a career out of that. Then his father comes and criticize that dream again and he start self-doubting so much to the point of thinking he was going to get fired; but he wasn’t, someone told him “you made a mistake, but that doesn’t mean you aren’t good at this.” That was probably the first time in his life someone had told him that and it was illuminating for him. It gave him the courage to confront his biggest bully, his father, and lay down all the harm he did and how much it affected him in his daily life. It takes a lot of bravery and self-confidence to do that.

Which takes me to my favorite character growth of all the series, Michael. Because when you think about it, all the growth Maureen and Adam did wouldn’t affect or care to Michael, if he wasn’t also working on himself. We are told that Michael was a bullied child, by his father and brother, which turn him in this cold and hard man that took things for granted and really didn’t care for how people felt. Maureen asking him for divorce took him out of nowhere, but it didn’t give him any ideas on improving himself. It was until he talked to Jean and saw how awful his brother was, that something clicked inside of him and made him realize he didn’t want to be like that anymore. And he tried to be better for Maureen, and she saw that but reminded him he also had a son. He also tried with Adam and failed a few times – when he yelled at him in the car, when he makes him feel that he only wanted to get back with his wife; but it were these failures and Adam standing up to him, what helped him finally understand which path to take. He needed to start removing from his life what made him miserable to be happy and love himself, and that was hard and scary, but he could do it. This time he listened, and that it such a key part on healing, he listened to the people he hurt and didn’t put the blame on them or justified himself – like so many parents do with the ‘I just wanted the best for you’. His final speech to Adam had me in tears because he realized from where all the pain and misery was coming from, and he now knew how to start working on that.

They aren’t completely healed by the end of the series, but they are way better than when they started. And it may still take them some time to be fully comfortable with each other, but healing isn’t linear and thar is so important to hear.

#adam groff #maureen groff #michael groff #sex education #sex education netflix #alistair petrie #samantha spiro #connor swindells

[bullet-prooflove]

The North Star - Part Five: Ask Me Again (NSFW) - Terry Bruno x Reader

Welcome to mine and @the-hinky-panda The Bronx universe featuring our favs Terry Bruno & Mike Duarte.

This story takes place several years after 'Blood Out'. Terry still lives in the Bronx and works in Manhatten SVU.

Following on from @the-hinky-panda story 'The Dog' Mike has retired from the NYPD on medical grounds due to seizures causes by the attack. He has a therapy dog called Bono and lives with @the-hinky-panda character Meredith.

Tagging: @mysoulisasunflower @legit9thlunaticwarrior @bbyxoo @the-adzukibean @xoxabs88xox @crazy4chickennuggets @beardedbarba @wooshwastaken @justreblogginfics @im-just-a-mississippi-girl @storiesofsvu @anime-weeb-4-life

Part One: Moments

You fall asleep on the car ride home, Terry’s jacket draped over you, pulled up to your chin. The  temperature had dropped by the time you left Meredith’s. He runs hot, he always has but he knows you feel the cold. This thing with Paul, and this case it’s exhausting you. You’ve stayed late the last couple of nights, and he sees the weight pressing down on your shoulders. The robberies are high profile, increasingly violent and now they’ve taken an even darker turn which is how they’ve landed at your feet. The victims are mostly from City Park and the Spencer Estates, the latest now being Morris Park. The homeowners are not Upper East Side rich, but the items that were stolen were heirlooms, past down from generation to generation. Duarte thinks there’s something in that, all these pieces are one of a kind, historical items, each of their stories running so deep you can feel the echo of generations when you look at the pictures.

He turns down Billy Joel on the radio as he pulls up in front of his apartment building. His head tilts towards you and he smiles. You’re curled up in the heated seat, head resting against the window. There’s a contented smile on your features and he loves that, loves the fact you feel comfortable enough with him to let your guard down.

A little wine, some good food, and excellent company can solve all the world’s woes.

“Hey pretty girl,” he says softly into the darkness of the car as he uses gentle fingertips to brush a strand of hair away from your features. “We’re home.”

“Hm…” You grumble, shuffling further down into the confines of his jacket. “Leave me, I’m comfortable here.”

Terry chuckled, his thumb tracing over the apple of your cheek. You leaned into his touch, your lips brushing over the base of his palm.

“I’m not letting you sleep in the car.” He says with a smile as he undoes your seatbelt.

“Always such a hardass.” You mumble, rubbing the back of your wrist across your tired eyes.

“Somebody has to take care of you.”

“You always do.” You told him resolutely. “I trust you more than I trust myself sometimes.”

“Nah, you’ve got good instincts.” Terry said. His fingertips caught the delicate gold chain around your throat, following the trail down to the centre of your chest where that tiny compass resided. “You just need to listen to them.”

“I do.” You told him, your gaze lowering to the compass between his fingertips. “When I’m not sure where I’m headed, I look down at this and think what would Terry do? And then I do the opposite.”

Terry rolled his eyes before releasing the compass.

“My girl, the comedian.”

There was silence for a second as Terry unclasped his own seatbelt and removed the keys from the steering console.

“I do want to move in with you, you know?” You said abruptly, the words spilling from your lips. “It’s just hard for me.”

“I know.” He said, his lips pursing together grimly, his fingers wrapping around the steering wheel. “Meredith told me.”

“I didn’t want you to see me as a victim, the work you do…” You trailed off, swallowing hard against the well of emotion in your chest. “I didn’t want you to have that in your home life too.”

“I don’t see you as a victim.” Terry said inclining his head towards you. “I see you as a survivor. You went through something awful at the hands of someone who was supposed to care about you and you’re still standing. Do you know how much strength it takes to do that?” Terry asked, angling his body towards you. “To get yourself out of that situation. You must have been terrified and you pushed through it. I admire that, I respect that.”

“Look…” Terry said meeting your gaze. His hand reached out to clasp yours, his thumb trailing over the indentation of your knuckles. “Move in with me, don’t move in with me. It doesn’t matter. I just want you feel safe, I want you to be able to sleep at night and know that everything’s going to be ok, that nothing is going to hurt you.”

“I love you; you know that?” You told him, leaning in close and inhaling that intoxicating scent. Your fingertips traced over the line of his jaw, your lips brushing over his softly. “Sometimes I look at you and I wonder how I got so lucky.”

“Luck had nothing to do with it.” Terry said quietly as he kissed you. “The two of us, it’s fate.”

----------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ask me again.” You whisper against his lips. You have him at your mercy, your hands threaded in his hair as you straddle his lap, his cock buried deep inside of you. There’s a flush across both of his cheeks, it reminds you of peaches and cream as you arch just a little taking him even deeper. His eyes are wild, locked on yours as you rock just a little coaxing a low moan from his throat. You have him at his peak, standing at the crest of the mountain and you are right there with him. His calloused palms roam up your curve of your back, clasping you close, holding on for dear life.

“Move in with me.”

His voice is husky and rough, his pupils blown as you sink down on him once more, tugging his head back and baring his throat. There’s an intimacy in the gesture, a sense of vulnerability and trust. You love him and this is your way of showing it, of reminding him that he’s yours, he’ll aways be yours.

You tantalise, you tease, you strip away every ounce of his control until he’s desperate and reckless, skin pressed so tightly against yours because he can’t stand not to touch you, not to feel you on every level. You drive him to the precipice, holding him there until the only thing he can focus on is the blurring of heaven and earth as he hits that rapture.

“Please, pretty girl.” He asks as he clings to the edge.

You know what he’s asking, it’s not just the moving in, it’s the commitment. The promise that you’re ready to take the next step, that you’re ready to trust him as much as he trusts you. It’s the final act, the shedding of that fear that sends you hurtling over the edge and plummeting into the sea of ecstasy. It washes over your synapses, drowning you like a wave until the only word on your lips is ‘yes’. You lose track of yourself, but Terry is always there, always grounding you. His hands are on your hips, his mouth smothering yours, drinking down your moans, your words and everything else you can give him as he spills himself inside of you.

You lose yourself in the bliss, the sense of belonging that comes with this man as he kisses you like you’re the only woman in the world. The only one he’s ever truly loved.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

It rains that night. Terry can hear the patter on the bedroom window as he lies in the darkness with your body draped over his. Your face is buried in the hallow of his throat, your arm thrown over his chest. His thumb trails over the curve of your spine, caressing your bare skin underneath the sheets. There was a perfection in this moment. The rhythm of your breathing against his. In the space of twenty-four hours his life has been flipped upside down and now he was considering the future.

There was a house for sale in Meredith’s neighbourhood, a couple of bedrooms, a small yard if you wanted a dog. It needed a little work, but the location was solid, and he had the money to renovate. He knew you would fight him on that point but the two of you would work out the details, you always did.

He thinks of the house with hardwood floors, your Aztec style rug in the living room along with his couch. A king-sized bed to go with the quilt he’d had to buy in the beginning of the relationship because you hoovered up the duvet when you were cold. The matching nightstands, you’d bought from a thrift shop before upcycling them with wallpaper and chalk paint. He wants to build a home with you, a place filled with laughter and love. He wants it to belong to both of you, for you to be able to come home and just relax in a space of your own. He longs for nights where you fall asleep with your head in his lap, a fire burning in the hearth, his fingers stroking through your hair. The two of you content.

This is what he falls asleep thinking about, with you in his arms. The life the two of you will have, the one you’ll create together.

Love Terry Bruno? Don’t miss any of his stories by joining the taglist here.

Like My Work? - Why Not Buy Me A Coffee

#detective terry bruno #terry bruno #terry bruno x reader #terry bruno x you #terry bruno fic

[amazingmsme]

NPMD SPOILER WARNING FOR ANYONE JUST SCROLLING BY! :]

okay so i have no clue how you feel about the au where after max was taken to the Black and white, things were sorta reversed and Richie and Ruth come back to life (basically like the tgwdlm au where everything is reversed when the meteor explodes)

but if you’re not like opposed to it, do you think that Ruth and Richie would get some comfort tickles to be shown everything is alright (including a bunch of hugs and tears and long talks and reassurance.) cause ruth was humiliated in her death and richie was implied to have an absolutely gruesome and violent death (with Sam puking when he saw the body and everything) so they’d definitely be a little messed up from everything

I gotta admit I’m a little out of touch with some of the popular au’s & headcanons in this fandom & most others because I just stick to the people I follow & I don’t venture into the tags very often, but I absolutely love these kinds of au’s!

There’s so many potential for au’s in Hatchetfield because it’s basically canon that there’s multiple timelines/universes, so technically anything can go!

I feel like they’d need a lot of therapy, but if they tried to talk about what actually happened the therapist would think they were legit insane, so that’s not really an option. Instead, they fall back on their friends who lived through these experiences. It’s the only place they feel safe enough to do so tbh

Pete, Steph & Grace are great listeners, & they all comfort them in their own ways, but the most important thing is just listening & being there to ground them. After the factory reset, Richie & Ruth are a lot more timid & sad than they used to be, which is to be expected. But that doesn’t mean their friends don’t try to help bring a smile to their face whenever possible. Pete will offer warm, comforting hugs & sneak in a few tickles to cheer them up after a much needed cry (something Ted would do for him after a rough day at school) & he’ll play video games with them in comfortable silence until they’re ready to talk again. After they come back, he’s not as mean of a ler as he used to be because he feels like they deserve to be handled with care. Steph on the other hand has the complete opposite tactic & thinks it would be worse to coddle them, so her techniques don’t change too much. She also prefers to comfort them by sharing music she thinks they’ll like & does the earbud sharing thing. Grace uses the opportunity to try & convert them, but she knows when she needs to be a friend & comfort them instead of their youth pastor. She actually gets pretty close with Ruth after all this. It takes longer than they would’ve liked, but things do return to some semblance of normal

All in all, I think Richie would handle the situation a bit better than Ruth just because he would make jokes about how he’s like an anime character now. “I’m just like Goku for real! :D”

I know it’s been a long time since I’ve written one, but au’s & crossovers really are my bread & butter I fucking love them! There’s infinite possibilities!

#asks #anon ask #npmd spoilers #npmd headcanons #npmd au #hatchetfield headcanon #ruth fleming #richie lipschitz #peter spankoffski #stephanie lauter #grace chasity #nerdy prudes must die #npmd

[w4t3rgun2]

hi! No idea if this blog is still open but can I request Winston loomis with daughter reader (FAMILIAL NOT ROMANTIC) with either it pronouns or fem ones whichever’s easier! Or dr Albert Krueger x reader (romantic) same pronouns!! I love your blog theme btw

Hello! I hope you're well, anon! And thank you!! :∆ my blog is always open for asks!! ^^ so sorry I am doing this late!!!

✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯✯

(I'm doing this in a different format! Hope it's cool!)

Type: Familial + Romantic!

Ship(s): Winston Loomis + daughter! Reader / Albert Krueger x Reader

Pronouns: It/Its & She/Her (I flipped between the two) for Reader | He/Him for Loomis | They/He for Albert | 🎉3rd person🎉

Owner information: I'm doing this headcanon style, if you want it changed; I will! ^^ And also might be OOC (out of character) due to me not returning to the fandom/writing in so long lol

CW?// "It" (as in the accidents and experiments), Myer (Yes that is a content warning), Albert Krueger in general, eyes small mention, OOC

Winston Loomis' daughter / (Y/N) Loomis!

This is a certainly interesting situation. A very quiet man with a child, unexpected! (Positively speaking of course)

It would probably depend on its age

If she's a kid; He'd definitely try to make time from his work to hang out. After all, kids need attention!

He'd probably also take her to work (before "it" started) with Myer's consent

While Myer isn't a big fan of kids, it is basically Myer's favorite in the workplace

and sometimes will take it to his office to let it just do whatever as Winston takes care of business.

Sometimes Myer makes Victor take of it as well.

Victor has tried to give it alcohol on multiple occasions; with Vincent stopping him. (Husbands /hj)

But after "it" started, he'd definitely have someone such as Draco take care of her. Winston doesn't want for his daughter to see what he's done.

Tbh, Winston might've also made a system for Draco in which Draco acts like a second parent for it!

But if she was to be a teen/older; He'd definitely let her come along to his work (with Myer's permission of course) and teach it about the work place

Also, note that He's not much of an affectionate, touchy or showy person. He stays quiet (he usually coughs) but with his daughter; he's definitely more talkative

If it decides to work alongside with Winston, he'd definitely be proud and show it the way

Especially if it's in the robotic industry; Winston will let it use Draco as practice (Sorry Draco)

I headcanon that Winston does sign language so his daughter might also have to learn it and they can have conversations

Winston would definitely get into whatever it is into; especially if it's technology related

Loomis the single parent👍

He's trying and he definitely tries whatever he can to make it happy and healthy

Albert Krueger x Reader (Romantically💞)

Oh my dear Atlantis. (- sincerely an Albert Krueger fickin /hj)

Let's start off with the dates between the two lovebirds;

Albert loves ocean life. So if it takes them to anything ocean related, they're head over heals for it already. (/Hj)

But Albert definitely goes to aquariums, holding its hand and ranting about all of the different animals (I hope you have patience)

But otherwise, Albert is definitely not into PDA. They love reserved hand holding and such.

Holding hands while deeply breathing together is something he loves much

He seems like to be the small spoon and say that he's a knife (he's not.)

Oh definitely plushie and blanket castles. Only it is allowed in

But also; free therapy! Like genuine therapy not .... (That)

It will occasionally find eyes in his room. Don't panic; it's just his ... Collection

He sometimes works later than usual so he'll definitely quickly call and say that

Since he's a dream therapist; he'll definitely try to make sure it doesn't have any bad dreams or nightmares or whatever

But if it does happy, comfort all night long!

Definitely drawing her on his papers and paperwork whenever he doesn't want to do it

Every patient knows a bit about her; not in a creepy way but they know of her existence and wondering why Albert

Albert loves playing games, wether it'd be card or cup and ball; he'll play it.

He gets very competitive in card games.

And when I say competitive; I MEAN IT.

THERE IS A REASON WHY IT HAD TO BAN SCRABBLE IN THE HOUSE. ALBERT FLIPPED THE TABLE.

Also definitely bought it one of those messager boxes and all and he sends cute little photos via it

He takes photos of dates and has them on repeat on his computer (like a slide background), it helps him get through the day

Overall; weird boyfriend but he's cute <3

Thank you for the request!! I had fun and feel free to ask me to do more/to change something/to remake!! <333/p

#mizuki.text #mizuki's diner!💞 #menu.order #menu.anon #w4t3rgun2 #i had fun making this #(fun fact; I'm an Albert Krueger fickin) #(haven't posted in a while huh?) #wintson loomis #albert krueger #twdak x reader #vtsom x reader #vtsom Winston Loomis #twdak albert

[apatheticcrossovers]

✨{Introduction}✨

Hello! You may know me from my other blogs. Well, i made a new one, cause I have no sense of impulse control, and I think he need more writing blogs specifically for crossover ships.

About Mod Apathetic

Just call me Mod Apathetic, or Apathetic!

I am an adult

I am a Fudanshi, Himedanshi, Profic, and Anti-hara!

Pangender probably, Any pronouns (no she/her)

My ao3 is ApatheticCrossovers, all requests and stuff will be archived over there!

I also plan on posting original fics here too!

My other blogs are @/Syrups-edit-corner (Edit requests), @/Syrups-fanfic-cafe (General requests), and @/Spookyscaryships (Edit/stim request blog run by both me and my friend)

If you aren't if I write for a certain fandom/topic, just ask please! I have anger issues and I will get extremely aggressive

WHAT I *WILL* DO:

Headcanons

Imagines/Oneshots

Crossover ships (Obviously)

Age gap ships (Including Minor/Minor age gaps, Adult/Adult Age gaps, and Minor/Adult age gaps)

Shipcest (Mainly headcanons cause, yaknow, crossover ships rarely have canon shipcest)

Alternate universes (Including "what if Character A was a canon character in Character B's universe" and Isekai type scenario's)

Yandere content

Ot3's (no more than 3 characters please!)

NSFW

WHAT I *WONT* DO:

Same Source/Series Ships (That included characters from two different games in the same series, and two different shows that take place in the same universe. This rule can be worked around if its an ot3 involving a character from a different source/series)

Satire/Joke ships (I have nothing against these types of ships, they just personally make me feel insecure about my own ships, since I take a lot of comfort in crossover ships /lh /gen.)

Things about active S/H (Things about recovering from S/H or brief mentions of it are fine!)

RPF/Stuff involving real people (Stuff like c!mcyt characters and musicals where the characters are based on real people are on thin ice /srs)

Drug Use/Abuse (Again, recovery is fine) [note: This rule does not and never while apply to weed. Weed is super cool /hj.]

Anything considered Unsanitary/generally gross (if you aren't sure if something would apply to this rule, please ask)

FANDOMS I'M IN:

Ace Attorney

Angels of Death

Animal Crossing

Afterl!fe (yes, even if the fandoms kinda dead)

Baldi’s Basics (+ mod/fangame characters)

Bendy and The Ink Machine

BFDI/BFB

Boyfriend to Death (Both 1 and 2)

Break In 1/2

Bugsnax

Cookie run (Both Ovenbreak and Kingdom)

Creepypasta

Danganronpa (all main games + UDG)

Deltarune

Doki Doki Literature Club

Doors (Roblox)

Eddsworld

Five Nights At Freddy’s series (+ Fangames)

Friday Night Funkin (+ Mods)

Happy Tree friends

Hazbin Hotel

Helluva Boss

Henry Stickmin Series

HLVRAI

Homestuck

Huniepop (both 1 and 2)

Identity V

Inanimate Insanity

Inscryption

Junji Ito

Madness Combat

Minecraft Storymode

Monster Prom

Mortal Combat

My Little Pony

MyStreet

Obey Me! Shall We Date

Object Terror

Okegom

OHSHC

Rainbow Friends (Roblox)

Roblox Myths

Riddle School

Saints Rows series

SCP Foundation

Smile For Me

Sonic Series

South Park

Sr Pelo’s Spooky Month

Steven Universe

Tankmen Series

Telltales TWD Games

The Backrooms

The Nightly Manor

Therapy With Dr. Albert Krueger

Undertale (+ Au’s)

Vincent: Secret of Myers

Welcome Home

Yandere Sim

Your Turn To Die

Zardy’s Field

And more that I currently can’t remember :p

FANDOMS I'M NOT IN BUT I AM FAMILIAR WITH ENOUGH TO WRITE FOR:

DC

Dream SMP (Characters, never the streamers)

Marvel

Genshin Impact

HFJONE

Pizza Tower

Sparklecare Hospital

Spiderverse

Super Danganronpa Another (1 & 2, mainly 2)

Twisted Wonderland

Probably more that I, again, can't remember.

CURRENT REQUESTS:

[Tumblr Inbox]

Hopeless Romantic Part 2 (Millie May x Amy Rose x Moxxie)

Barbatos [Obey Me] x Yuri [DDLC]

Beast Boy [Teen Titans] x Steven Universe [SU] SOulmate AU Headcanons

Vector [Sonic the Hedgehog] x Alphys [Undertale] NSFW

Hellborn Artic Owl!Rarity [MLP] x Stolas [Helluva boss]

Fischl [Genshin Impact] x Gundham Tanaka [Danganronpa] NSFW Headcanons

[Ao3 Inbox]

Yuri [DDLC] x Noelle Holidy [Deltarune]

Donut Joe [MLP] is accusing Soarin's [MLP] new boyfriend, Drago [Animal Crossing], of stealing from his shop, and Soarin doesn't know who to side with.

Glamrock Freddy [FNaF] x Audrey Belrose [Huniepop] NSFW

Golfball [BFDI] x Tennisball [BFDI] x Test Tube [II] Headcanons

Monika [DDLC] x Senpai [FNF]

Collin [Helluva Boss] x Lila [Spooky Month] Short Fic

That's all! Feel free to request stuff from me! I'm always looking for new crossover ships to write about! /gen

#*✧･ﾟ:{Introduction} #*✧･ﾟ:{Promotion} #proship #proshippers please interact #proship safe #crossover ship #crossover shipping #ask to tag.

[misscammiedawn]

Permit me some self-indulgence to share my Favorite Character Bingo.

For this bingo I favored my fandom tags (17/24 spaces selected from my 25 listed fandom tags) and tried to round out with movies that I adore.

I wanted to diversify my range of franchises to include TV, animation, books, comics and video games and also pick characters that resonated most with each of us, though Camden's influence is felt the strongest. I won't state where the attachments lay but I'm sure those who know us can infer.

Descriptions and reasons under Read More.

Full spoilers for any character featured. Content warning for suicide discussion under cut.

1: Miles Edgeworth - Ace Attorney - Literally the last square filled in and we looked at the remaining 9 fandom tags and thought "which of these 9 have a character that we feel strongly about", it was either him or Alucard Castlevania and both for the same reason, daddy issues. I love the idea of a virtuous child of anime Atticus Finch being raised by a deliciously evil prosecutor to become everything his father would have hated. I love the conflict between two siblings raised in the house of Perfection. I love his dramatic ass (except when he pulls that "chooses death" bullshit. That was unforgivable). Plus I just adore his slowburn romance with Phoenicholas, how supportive he is of their daughter, Trucy, and how the sequel trilogy is sparing enough of him that we always miss him when he's not around. He is our favorite Ace Attorney character by a mile. Plus he's a the straight man (well, he's got his hidden eccentricities, but for comedic purposes he's the straight man) in a world of lunacy. The first game leaned heavy on that joke and it always made me smile.

2: Catra - She-Ra (2018) - Our tag for She-Ra is "Catra Did Nothing Wrong" and she is the character in all of fiction I would go up to bat for every time if I saw a debate start up on a Discord I frequent. I'll be straight. She's our (Camden's, anyway) BPD projection character. I adore watching characters with crucial personal failings get swallowed up by dramatic irony. There's something so powerful in being an audience member and knowing what a character wants, what they need, what they should do-- while understanding it's not in their nature to do it. I wanted her to stay with Scorpia in the desert where she was respected and comfortable but knew that it just couldn't be. I loved all the moments where her failings caught up with her. When Scorpia walked away from her, when Double Trouble gave her emergency therapy, the way she struggled with her hair and entire season to force herself to be something she couldn't sustain. I love Catra more than I can measure. I could write essays on how I would do exactly as she did in Season 2 and ruin EVERYTHING for just the chance of a parent proving that they loved her. To be consumed by self-doubts and paranoia and terror of abandonment. Catra is the character we are most like in all of fiction. For better and for worse. Much like her, we're trying to be better.

3: M'gann M'orzz/Miss Martian - Young Justice - Surprisingly I have two Greg Weisman shows on this bingo and no fandom tags for his work, I am using my generic DC tag here. I should change that at some point. M'gann gets so much character development over the 4 seasons of Young Justice. From a starting point of her blue and orange morality of being a Martian not understanding Earth customs causing her to break consent boundaries with her abilities and hurt people (including a fairly uncomfortable angle where she grooms Connor to be her fantasy boyfriend without him knowing what she's doing) to her learning in season 2 that a black and white morality is hardly any better (she mind crushes enemies, thinking that it's good to pacify evil until she does this to someone who turned out to be innocent) to her being a transgender allegory in season 4 (where she meshes the two cultures that she's part of and tries to gain cultural acceptance). There are elements of her story which are under baked, we know that she received a heavy amount of discrimination growing up due to her being a white martian and the arc of her embracing her heritage happens off screen between seasons 2 and 3. Her romance with Connor was well handled, though, particularly as she was not virtuous. In season 2 she was in the wrong (having tried to mind control Connor against his consent) and reacted very poorly to his rejection of her and used a rebound relationship to make him jealous (fortunately Lagoon Boy ended up in a healthy poly family and is doing great. Did I mention Young Justice has good relationship dynamics? Because it does). As with Catra I adore characters who have made mistakes and take a slow road to making up for those mistakes because it begins dialogues about their ethics and every season of Young Justice is about trust, communication, deceit and manipulation and Megan is easily the most complex character when it comes to those themes, particularly as her abilities allow her to blur those lines even in her personal relationships. She's an ethical trainwreck and I love her.

Every character in Young Justice brings something to the table and I think I should note how that deep vein of character driven story telling brings out the best in others. I had mentioned Megan groomed Connor. She was obsessed with an Earth sitcom when she was on Mars and decided to become the main character of it and then when presented with the newly born Superboy decided to start treating him as that Sitcom's love interest who was named Connor. It was a massive violation and Connor was hurt and confused when he learned and it was also in an episode where Megan lied about her racial heritage and Connor, who had been inside her mind, KNEW she was lying and told her outright that she shouldn't fear his judgment. The thing about Connor is that his arc is about finding personal identity when he is defined by everyone else's expectations and impressions. Cadmus and Lex literally programmed him, Superman put him in a box and kept distance from him, the Genomorphs have expectation of him, the team have expectation of him, even his girlfriend is trying to shape him and for much of the show he struggles with it but doesn't reject it. He finds comfort in being accepted in these windows of projection and expectation and I find that him learning who he really is and what he stands for to be one of the more compelling narrative threads throughout the 4 seasons. He and Megan are the main couple in a show about trust and communication after all and I think it should go that the character who typically displays the most raw honesty and vulnerability should be paired off with the most ethically complicated character because they bring the most out of one another while still wanting their relationship to succeed. I know much of the audience dislikes the pair and thinks Connor forgiving and eventually marrying Megan is a bridge too far but I really think they work for one another and even when they don't, from a storytelling perspective it's compelling as shit.

4: Briar Moss - The Circle of Magic - When I started this meme Daja (username relevant, yes) asked if I was going to pick Tris or Briar. They are both "Camden characters" with one being a child who has been kicked out of her biological family and the other being someone who grew up in extreme poverty adapting to moving up the caste system. I went with Briar purely because of the 4 siblings he is the one with the most interesting dynamics with his mentor and student. Evvy sticks around in the main cast while the other apprentices do not hang around and Dedicate Rosethorn is my favorite adult in the franchise easily. Briar is a streetwise kid who has to learn how to trust and rely on people and sadly in the third quartet (pending Tris' Lightsbridge book being written) he gets a painfully accurate depiction of PTSD. I wrote about my reaction to the ending of Will of the Empress a while ago and I stand by my comments. Briar building a safe place as the home he built with his siblings and staying there when he was tortured burned my heart. As did the sequence of him deciding that if Rosethorn was going to let herself die then he was going to follow her. As I'll allude later, I have experience there... and it certainly aided my fondness for Briar.

Much of the fun of the Circle of Magic series is seeing how the siblings adapt to their abundance of magical potential and I love the fact that for 3 of the 4 this is depicted via external means. For Daja Kitsubo and Sandry it is via their art, Daja bends and shapes metal, pouring her power into items where Sandry weaves it into fabric. Briar cultivates his via life. He grows plants and those plants are imbued with his magic. If I had picked Tris this would be where I note that her magic is entirely stored within her, bottled up (literally when she starts glasswork) and too much to contain. Magic is emotion, it is passion, it is a connection to life and the world and with Briar his is not giving shape to his creations, it is cultivating the growth of things that cannot be tamed, he communes with the wild of the world and aids it and heals it. Daja and Sandry give their power shape and form as art. Tris tames the raging storm inside and eventually scries the winds to connect with the world without letting it break her, Briar's power is in love and nurture (which I adores as he is the only member of the 4 with masculine pronouns- as with all Tammy's work, gender is not a box) and it's fitting that his connection to both mentor and student be the strongest due to this.

Also his tattoos are cool.

For a personal anecdote that happened while we were reading Briar's Book. Towards the end there's a sequence where Rosethorn and Briar had an argument in the afterlife and Rosethorn only chose to live again because Briar would have let himself die otherwise. That parent-child suicide gambit--- that's what I was alluding to before. I don't want to type more than is necessary about it. We have experience. It caused a switch and our girlfriend, Daja, is observant enough that she noted the shift in how we typed. Particularly in how we used the word "ain't" which apparently is something specific only to our male part, Craig. Daja was so lovely, kind and caring in accepting him, seeing him and not pressuring him when he was out that it helped us heal a part of our heart that we had pushed away. I'll always remember that whenever I read that book or think of Briar. It's a huge part of why we're fond of the character.

Incidentally if I picked from Tortall I'd have been paralyzed for choice with Numair, Daine, Kyprioth, Farmer, Kel and Alanna herself. Tamora Pierce writes amazing characters.

5: Jesse Faden - Control - Is Control an isekai? It starts with our main character talking about crawling through the hole behind a poster as if it were the Alice in Wonderland rabbit hole.

Anyway, there's a fantastic character analysis I read once that spoke about the relationship between the director of the FBC and the service weapon with Northmoor trying to impose his will upon the Oldest House and the items within it and Trench being a turn-key manager who simply filled the power vacuum and spent his career trying to find a suitable replacement. These represent the two extremes of Jesse's potential leadership of the Federal Bureau of Control. She could either go all in and try to claim ownership of the Bureau and impose her will upon the forces that are too strong to control or she could reluctantly attempt to maintain the Bureau without considering herself actually in charge of it. What she actually does is she finds a path of humility. She is the janitor's assistant. Neither king nor steward of the bureau but the custodian of it. She does not seek control nor does she seek to pass on the responsibility. She merely manages the messes and does so as an assistant. Ahti is the most powerful entity in the game by far and by trusting in him and following his direction, Jesse becomes the perfect head of the bureau.

I was predisposed to love her because she has red hair, she was a lot like the tabletop character I took my name from, she's got a queer dynamic with the head of research and technically she's plural. She's wonderful.

Oh and she's an oddball. I love the little hints of just how weird Jesse is beneath her protagonist swagger. I should probably write more about her, particularly as much of her depth as a character is not obvious from a surface read of the material. Maybe I will some day, but I love her.

6: Chidi Anagonye - The Good Place - The Good Place is a sitcom adaptation of Jean-Paul Satre's play No Exit and involves 4 people sent to hell and are utilized to be one another's unwitting tormentors. The thing is that part of the message of the virtue ethics driven show is that in the modern world every action we do or do not do causes additional suffering in the world and the 4 "cockroaches" are not bad souls, they just made choices that made them bad people. For Chidi he is a good and loving person who is kind and heavily believes in virtue ethics. He belongs in hell because he's anxious and indecisive and makes people's lives harder by worrying so much about how to be a good person. I love Chidi because his growth is less about becoming a better person and more about being confident enough in his convictions to know he's a good person. In every reality he will inevitably help the other cockroaches and teach them to be better people because that's who he is. But he's also selfless to a literal fault. It's one of his damnable traits. After everyone makes it to heaven people can enjoy paradise until they're ready to move on and he decides to continue past the point of which he makes peace with moving on because he doesn't want to hurt Eleanor.

The final episode of Good Place made me gross sob so much and a big part of it is the sofa scene where Chidi explains his personal philosophy after countless lifetimes of discussing, teaching and learning philosophy he gives Eleanor one final lesson on their final night and then, on request, disappears while she's asleep. Heaven knows I understand making that request of someone you love.

He's the heart of the entire experience. Truthfully I love all 4 of the cockroaches and it comes down to how I reacted to their final episodes. Chidi's final moments were the most powerful of the show for me. I love him so much and admire him.

Plus he's a philosophy nerd and as a fellow philosophy nerd <3 I love love love him!

7: Allison "Ally" Carter - Sunstone - Every character in Sunstone deserves to be on this list but I went with Ally because (much like with Chidi) when I have difficulty picking between a stacked cast of great characters I go for the love interest of the protagonist because people really shine when the perspective character is in love with them.

Ally is a god damned dork and she's also an incredible domme. Sunstone is a romance about entering the world of kink circles and navigating the troubled waters that come with consensual risks, emotionally charged play and non-standard relationship dynamics. I love the way the story is presented so much that it is my strongest inspiration for Madison/Belladonna stories.

The thing I love most about Ally is that she's not just the amazing dominant that she plays during the spicy scenes. We get to see her freaking out with nervousness, scared about having to host and live up to expectation, we see her be an absolute nerd, we see her in her element while performing.

I've been Ally and the people I love most have been Ally. Being a Top is hard as heck and you can't help but love the dork as she lives up to expectation while trying to be an adult. Seeing her and Alan literally learning the ropes in the recent GNs has been a gosh darn treat!

8: Elliot Alderson/Mr.Robot (Alderson System) - Mr. Robot - What can I say about my dear Elliot that I haven't already said in my DID Representation in Mr. Robot essay? I love him. The whole system. Though I have an affinity for protectors and so Mr. Robot himself is my favorite. He is such a protector that he will attack his host (well, the show fucks up that aspect of DID enough that it's complicated to call the Elliot we see in the show a host) in order to save him from the evils of late-stage capitalism. When pre-show Elliot wants a way out of loneliness and the evils of modern society he fantasizes about taking it all down. The Elliot in the show just wants to make the evils of the world pay, Mr. Robot is perfectly okay killing entire buildings of collateral to achieve his goals. Not because he's evil but because he's laser focused on his mission. I respect the shit out of that, especially as later seasons show that he's not even remotely as capable as he thinks he is.

The scene during the "sitcom" episode where he takes a beating so Elliot doesn't have to was the moment he won me over and then in season 4 he has the speech where he begs Elliot to understand that he is not their father and that he will disappear if it will help him out of the dark hole he's in. Just the fact that, post memory retrieval, he starts by saying "hey, kiddo..." despite that being the reminder of who he is modeled after. Mr. Robot cannot help but be a manifestation of Edward Alderson, it's who he is, it's why he is. Elliot needed a version of his father who was not a monster. I love him deeply. I love the whole system. Even Magda for all her 7 minutes of screen time.

Plus, Elliot summed up the thesis of the show in the final episodes in saying that changing the world is about living and being visible and in not backing down, no matter what.

And then there's the monologue. Fuck I love this show and these dumb hacker boy.

9: "Badeline"/A Part Of You - Celeste - Well, we're on the topic of plurality so let's stay there. Badeline's a fairly subjective character. Celeste's narrative isn't very long and she doesn't even have an official name. Even the DLC chapter refers to her as "A Part of You". But whether she is a living symbol of Madeline's depression, the doubts and fears she holds towards climbing the mountain/transition or is a protective alter in a plural system, I love her. I always have. The fear she puts into thinking Madeline wants to just get rid of her, the fact that she pushes Madeline to move past grieving Granny faster than Maddy is ready for.

Watching the pair learn to loan one another strength and conquer the mountain was lovely and then seeing Baddy try to stop Maddy from hurting herself in the DLC chapter only to be pushed away was heartbreaking. I just want these two to play nice.

I love that the entire objective of Celeste 64 was for Maddy to reach Baddy and say she's going to go on another adventure and soothe Baddy's fears. Climbing mountains is tough (happy trans day of visibility everyone!) and these two are going to continue doing it, so long as it's together <3

10: Laura Palmer - Twin Peaks (Fire Walk With Me) - So first off, read this essay for better words than we have. We could have picked Dale but Twin Peaks is a show about Laura Palmer and the community that failed her. Laura was a victim of abuse from her father and was commodified by the town who all chose to only see parts of her that they could use for sex, charity, kindness, validation etc etc. There's a meme that goes around:

and I think that at face value it's silly, but it's important to know that everyone in Twin Peaks was complicit in her murder because they used her up for all she was worth and the story works best when you consider that she had no one protecting her, no one saving her. This is why, in Fire Walk With Me, she talks about the angels not coming for her and Donna tries so hard to convince her that they can and will, because Donna, of all the people in Twin Peaks including Dale Cooper, does not want anything from Laura but her trust and friendship.

If you watch Twin Peaks and view Laura as "the victim" then you're doing yourself a disservice. She's a nuanced character and a horrifying Lynchian portrait of those who are caught in webs of abuse. But she has agency. She just has no meaningful way of escaping, particularly when by the end of her life she views the whole world as a prison full of users and abusers and when she finds someone who tries to offer her kindness, she rejects them at first and when they refuse to leave or back off, she tries to drag her down with her. It's only when she realizes that she's so far gone that she'll bring Donna into her personal hell that she decides to become the angel for her and save her. The Pink Room sequence in the movie may well be my favorite part of all the Twin Peaks saga. Laura Palmer is such a compelling character. I love her.

11: Lady Bird/Christine McPherson - Lady Bird - Lady Bird is a phenomenal movie and one of my all-time favorites. I'll split this one up into character and then personal attachment.

For the film, Catherine/Lady Bird is a young woman raised in Sacramento in 2002. She goes to a catholic school because her parents are afraid of sending her to the local public school. Well, I say her parents but the movie is entirely about Lady Bird and her mother. In that regard it is a tough movie to watch because the pair clash so much. Lady Bird and her mom are both willful women and care a lot about what other people think about them. They see one another in the other and hate what they see while still loving one another.

The conflict between Marion and Lady Bird typically displays itself in Marion's refusal to refer to Lady Bird by the name she has chosen for herself. In the Opening Scene she says that "it's stupid and it's not your name" and continually talks down to her daughter, saying that she cannot get into a New York college because she couldn't pass her driver's test (which Lady Bird argues was because Marion refused to let her practice). These clashes continue throughout the movie and any time Lady Bird figures out a way to reframe a critique against her mom she just pivots away. Another example is the "Name a number" scene where after being told that she has no idea how much money it takes to raise her and Lady Bird responds by demanding a number so that she can pay her back; Marion just says "you'll never get a job that earns that much money".

All of this squabbling makes the most sense with the scene in Goodwill where Lady Bird confesses "I just wish that you liked me" to which Marion, dodging again, says "Of course I love you" and Lady Bird calls her on it with "But do you like me?"

Marion pauses and says "I just want you to be the best version of yourself you can be" and Lady Bird, hurt and knowing she won't make a connection says "What if this is the best version of me there is" and Marion gives an incredulous look before letting it sink in. The fact is she is trying to be the best mother she can be and is confronted with the vulnerability that maybe neither she nor her daughter is failing to be their best, maybe this is the best and she has to make peace with that.

That's why I love the movie so much. Two women who want the best for themselves and thus each other but are completely unable to understand one another or connect and speak different emotional languages. It's such a powerful and honest narrative about growing up and becoming your own person. I find the conclusion a little too forgiving on the mother's side, but I love Lady Bird. I love how willful she is, I love how cultured she wants to be. I love how she just wants to be part of the world she feels connected to while knowing she is on the outside of it. Legitimately one of my favorite film characters of all time.

For personal attachment. Camden Dawn is the name of one of my OCs, I first wrote her in 2001 but the version I consider "Camden Dawn" started off in tabletop games that began in 2010. Camden was a raised catholic by two parents who were obsessed with optics and how Camden's behavior reflected on her and their household and she successfully emancipated herself from them after managing to get them to fund her to go to college in Chicago. Over the 7 years I wrote that version of Camden she was always special to me. More than I think I could display to my tabletop group at the time. I considered her my "trainwrecksona" the fantasy version of what we would be like if we were allowed to express our anger, frustration and pain. Camden smoked, she had an alcohol problem, she made bad relationship decisions and was a mess. Watching Lady Bird was like seeing a film version of everything that I was trying to do be done by a masterful actor, director and screenwriter. There is no amount of language I can put into how powerful it is to pour so much of yourself into a fictional character you created, enough of yourself that you adopted her name as your own and to see someone take all the passion and soul that you tried to convey through fiction and do it better. It was awe, admiration and connection.

I'm not Camden (the character) and I'm certainly not Christine. But I understand what emotions go into writing a character like that. How can I not love her when she's the culmination of everything I love about my favorite original character?

12: Bill - It's Such A Beautiful Day - Three heavy movie characters in a row. Bill suffers from an unspecified psychological disorder that messes with his perception of reality and his memories. The movie is an outside view of his life and the narrator becomes so attached to him by the end that it cannot bear to let him go. "He lives and lives until all the lights go out." is such a powerful line to end the production with because that's it. That's all any of us get. The world may continue on without us but our capacity to perceive this beautiful trainwreck is only within us and there's no grander design than that. We live and then the lights go out. Even our memories may die before our ability to perceive. The movie talks about how we start looking forward, start looking back and in the end... all we can do is look around.

Which makes the bus ride so unspeakably poignant, long before the titular Beautiful Day. As the narrator says early on in the experience, life isn't the big memorable experiences, it's all of the tiny little things that happen in between. That bus ride, Bill looking at the raindrops and admiring the world. That's far more true than any moment in the film and what Hertzfeld wants the audience to pick up through the experience.

I became attached to him during the runtime. The mundane thoughts of a person who begins the story with the news that he's going to die and ends up finding the sentiment that gives the movie its title.

Hertzfeld does such an amazing job with Bill. The subtle gestures like how he wrings his hands together or the wrinkles under his eyes betraying his fear and worries. He's a stick figure in a world of stick figures and all he has to differentiate himself is his hat. We cannot even hear him speak because the movie is conveyed only by the narration and yet the animation gives him so much personality.

There are so many scenes which just connect so well, like when he meets his father despite both men being so incapable of understanding the relevance of what is happening.

Bill lives until he doesn't anymore and we share the journey of life with him. It's breathtakingly beautiful.

13: Susan Sto Helit - Discworld - Susan is really three characters. Soul Music Susan, Hogfather Susan (goth Mary Poppins) and Thief of Time Susan (goth Ms. Frizzle).

I love her. I love her more than I have words for. Especially Thief of Time Susan.

She's almost human. Part of her will always be a deity. She is the granddaughter of DEATH and much of her character in Hogfather and Thief of Time is attached to her wanting to embrace her human side. But it's in Thief of Time where she learns that what she's looking for is not to be accepted within humanity, but she wants to find someone who is like her. That's why I adore her connection to Lobsang. She puts up a ward of sensible Susan and tries to be practical and put together but she's a deeply emotional woman and she's lonely because no one else shares her experiences.

She loves her grandfather very much but she cannot abide by "the family business", she is kind to him but wants to be her own person and she ends up finding herself more attached to children because they haven't lost their curiosity yet, in many ways she finds they are more sensible than adults because they haven't decided how things are and closed their hearts and minds to ideas outside of what they think and expect.

Susan is important to me. I love her dearly.

14: Ben Reilly - Spider-Man - We're unapologetic in our love of the clone saga. The thing about Ben (and Kaine) is that he's a fantastic character study into the nature and nurture of Peter Parker and the writers had so many fun and cool ideas for how to handle a version of Peter who had 5 years to not be Spider-Man.

One of my alltime favorite moments in comics is when Aunt May died and Peter is embraced by MJ and Anna, he's surrounded by family. Ben is on the roof, alone. Ben's has no one because he's a clone and completely broken off from others. He slowly builds his own family over time and considers Peter (and Kaine) his brother(s) but it takes time.

The lost years are where he exemplified himself in my eyes. We get to see how he grows from finding out he's not Peter Parker until he returns to New York. How he tries to walk away from responsibility, how he tries to live a normal life. He's a tragic character because no matter how much he wants to be a different man, he still has Peter's memories and cannot help but have the drive that makes him Spider-Man.

15: "Sunshine" Joe Fixit (Banner System) - Hulk - So I did two whole essays on Banner's system with the second part entirely about Joe and Betty's relationship. Fact is Joe is what happens when a man is so repressed and ashamed of himself that he cannot act out. Joe is all of the things that Bruce wants, lusts for, desires but cannot allow himself to act out upon. He's capable of lying, cheating, stealing and killing in a way Bruce can never allow himself to believe he is capable of. The period of time that Peter David was writing Joe as the main front of the system gave us some incredible insights into the widening chasm between his morality and Bruce's as well as what Joe finds himself wanting. There was a period of time where changing into Banner was the greatest fear of Hulk(Fixit) and it worked remarkably well to see the two having their day and night battle for dominance.

But what really made me love him more was the Immortal series where he's in Banner's body and needs to keep the body safe the way that only he can. The latter half of the comic Bruce is not even in the system and it's just Joe and Savage against the world. Joe's a reluctant protector. He used to be a hedonist but over time his affection for the system

Look at this page (first panel especially) from a 4 page side-story where Joe is talking to their therapist and briefly remembers Brian Banner beating the shit out of him and how he would take the beating so Bruce didn't have to.

Joe's attachment to Mike was evident in Peter David's run and solidifying that Joe just wants a father figure is such amazing characterization. With both Mr. Robot and Hulk I love how these adults are driven by childhood notions of safety and comfort. I even hint on it a bit with Catra too with how she sold herself out to get a chance of Shadow Weaver's affection. Good trauma representation is showing how a character carries their past into their present and Joe is a manifestation of Bruce's repressed anger and childhood trauma just as much Hulk himself is. Joe just wants what we all want, to be loved and protected in a world where the person who owed him both those things failed to do either. In lieu of being loved himself, he's damned well going to love his inner family, especially the kid.

16: Kimberly Wexler - Better Call Saul - Kim is a phenomenal character in a character driven drama. Again, when surrounded by amazing characters I go for the protagonist's love interest. But here it's different. In the final season Kim is approached by Mike. Mike is the most level headed guy in the canon. He's the one who is objectively right about everyone and has a good eye to who people are. Enough that Season 4 of the show only makes sense if you consider they needed a season long plot arc for why he didn't execute Walter where he stood in during BrBa.

Mike approached Kim because he judged that she was the one who could be trusted with the information that he had about Lalo Salamanca, another incredible character in a show full of them. Kim is headstrong, crafty and hates being talked down to. She is attracted to Jimmy because they are equals and she typically acts up when Jimmy doesn't display the trust and respect that he owes her.

Throughout the show we get glimpses of her childhood and there are some gems with her mom. She refuses to be picked up from school when her mom shows up late and drunk and ends up walking home miles on her own. There's a scene where she steals from a store and her mom picks her up and acts up the punishment she would get only to laugh about the store manager after leaving the scene. Kim had a tough childhood and bad rolemodels and yet still clawed her way up to being a lawyer.

We get to see her realize that the system is inherently broken to its core and no amount of pro-bono work within the system will make a difference, she is reduced to constantly being hit with "did Jimmy put you up to this" levels of disrespect for her agency. Kim is fascinating because she was always the capable one and Mike and Jimmy are about the only people in the show who can see it and even Jimmy can't when his ego gets in the way.

Aren't you tired of being nice? Don't you want to go apeshit?

Kim is best girl and Rhea Seehorn should be given every Emmy forever.

17: Johnny Truant/Pelafina H. Lièvre/The Book Itself - House of Leaves - This one is a total cheat. The fact is I wanted to type "anyone who types in Courier or Dante fonts" but the book is a mind worm and the mere act of trying to communicate about it is a bottomless pit that will make you look like you're in front of a Pepe Silvia wall. The fact is nothing inside of the book House of Leaves can be said to have happened in any meaningful sense. It's a journal of a man reading an analysis of a film of events that likely didn't happen and the person at the top of that narrative pyramid (well, under The Editors, I suppose) is an admitted liar. Which means that I cannot say The Whalestone Letters are true or not. I can say that they are my favorite part of the book and judging from my interaction with the only fandom, this makes me a little unhinged. Johnny's panic attack at seeing purple ink, the back and forth on whether Pelafina attempted to strangle Johnny as a child or not, why her secret decoded message mentions Zampano, how her letters can refer to events after she died... as I said, it's a bottomless pit and the more you think about it the more insane you become. Fact is, Johnny is an interesting character and there's a lot to him and part of that IS the fact you cannot tell if he's lying and that means that if he forged his mother's letters they are his words and if he didn't she's equally compelling in her complexities. We have an unknowable psyche of someone who is both inviting us in to see the innards of his soul AND pushing us away so we can not know him, see him or judge him. It's brutally honest AND guarded. Deceptive while bearing everything. I tend to feel strongly for characters if they go through something I've been through because I get to see someone else deal with the thought processes I went through, I don't need to see myself reflected in that, just empathize with the fact they're dealing with it. A parent being put away in a mental care facility is fucking tough shit and as I saw Johnny's trauma unfold through his journals I cared more about him and wanted to understand him more.

Which brings us to the end of his portion of the narrative and his big "fuck you" to the reader. I'll admit it. Upon first reading I was hurt by Johnny's betrayal of the reader and then I realized, much in the same way HBomb's described during his analysis of Pathologic, that I knew the entire time I was reading a book and Johnny wasn't real, that by feeling betrayed and hurt by his lies it just showed I cared and that he had made me care. No character has ever violated the attachment I form with fictional characters in such a way that really made me understand how one-sided and false that connection was and it was a unique experience. Certainly one that makes me love the character, for all I know they are an unknowable wreck and I cannot ever truly understand them. House of Leaves is a mirror and it reflects everything you put into it and that's why I love it so much. The experience of reading that book is mine and mine alone. My relationship with the book and its characters is unique. It cannot be replicated. It can barely be described.

18: Puck/Owen Burnett - Gargoyles - Seems I posted without writing about Puck! Better edit it in. I LIKE FAE AND BUSINESS MAN OWEN AND I'LL EDIT THIS IN LATER I PROMISE!

19: JJ MacField - The Missing ((JJ Macfield and the Island of Missing Memories) - Beating this game made me come out the closet. I'd known I was trans for almost 20 years before playing it but when I beat it I told the support network in my life at the time that I couldn't stay in the closet any longer and began formally socially transitioning.

The Missing is about two girls going to an island. JJ and Emily. Emily tried to initiate intimacy and JJ pulled back and soured the mood, when she wakes up the next morning Emily is gone and JJ has to puzzle solve through themed areas of the island to find her. As you progress text messages fill you in on JJ's life.

So. Being honest? I thought it was a game about being a lesbian. I thought that it was about JJ coming to terms with her sexuality, even when her mother is controlling monster (literally in terms of the game) and sent her to conversion therapy. Nope. Turns out JJ is trans and I didn't see it. I didn't know.

I played the game on release day and just... didn't figure that out.

JJ is a cutie who loves donuts, she loves her stuffed plushie, she loves Emily, she loves flowing fashion. The game sadly is a nightmare from her trying to kill herself and being saved.

The thing is, though, the game's aftercare is so healing. After beating the game you have the opportunity to play the game without JJ's "idealized" dream form. You can play as socially transitioning JJ with her developmental voice, change her wig, let her experiment her look. Here's some gallery items showing the differences between first run and second run versions of JJ.

and I think it's beautiful to show her as being the same person no matter what she appears on the outside. Because she's JJ. Voice, wig, eye color and outfit do not change the fact she's a sleepy donut gremlin.

I could write more. Like how the themes of the game are the amount of pain one must endure to actualize as their true selves and how learning to live with that helps you pull yourself together and become endure more (not to fetishize suffering, but well, learning to endure pain can be virtuous if you cannot avoid it) or how the player becomes the final boss themselves and lashes out against Emily to show how her attempted suicide was a harmful act.

The thing I adore most though is that the final secret in the game, the reward for everything is photographs of JJ and Emily going clothes shopping and buying the outfit that JJ wears during the game.

Fuck that story makes me so happy. Especially from the perspective we were in when we were closeted.

As a sidenote, I own a F.K plushie and love it very much.

20: Korra - The Legend of Korra - Running low on steam but I'll be quick and say "Avatar is the story of a normal little boy finding out that he's the chosen one and having to learn how to save the world. Korra is the story of the chosen one who was raised to save the world learning to become a normal woman."

I find the latter so much more compelling than the first. Especially when season 4 spends so much time on her rehabilitation after Season 3 left her disabled. The depiction of both recovering from a severe injury and the PTSD was well handled.

Anyway. She's rad.

21: Hal "Otacon" Emmerich - Metal Gear Solid - He's the spiritual child of Dr. Strangelove and The Boss. Huey was a sperm donor and nothing more. Hal's an idiot. He's a geek. He's a hopeless romantic who makes dumb mistakes. He's also Snake's husband and Sunny's father and he saved the world. I love him.

22: Adonis "Donnie" Creed/Johnson - Creed - Gosh I wish I wrote about him when I had more in the tank but I'm 22 characters in, the end is in sight and I'm tired. The Rocky franchise is a special series of movies. We get to see the same man through 50 years and even in the first film they were talking about him being past his prime. I chose Donnie over Rocky though because Creed is my a contender for my favorite movie of all time. Ryan Coogler said about it

"[My father] used to play [the Rocky movies] before I had football games to pump me up, and he would get really emotional watching the movies. He used to watch Rocky II with his mom while she was sick and dying of cancer. She passed away when he was 18 years old. And so when he got sick he was losing his strength because he had a muscular condition. He was having trouble getting around, having trouble carrying stuff. I started thinking about this idea of my dad’s mortality. For me he was kind of like this mythical figure, my father, similar to what Rocky was for him. Going through it inspired me to make a film that told a story about his hero going through something similar to kind of motivate him and cheer him up. That’s how I came up with the idea for this movie."

"If I fight, you fight"

It's about a father being a hero, it's about being strong enough to live up to legacy, it's about passing down knowledge and inspiration from one generation to the next. Donnie is a conflicted character. On one hand he is the foster care kid who got into fights in juvie. On the other hand he is the son of world famous Apollo Creed and raised in a mansion. He is Adonis Creed and he is Donnie Johnson. Both of these are true and that conflict burns within Donnie because he burns for a father he never got to meet and connection to a world he's not part of anymore. In being rescued from his group home situation by Mary-Anne he left behind all he knew. We learn more about his childhood prior to juvie in Creed III. Point is, he's hurting to make a place for himself and prove he belongs. The armor piercing quote in the first movie is when he says "I gotta prove it - That I wasn't a mistake."

I cried when I first saw that scene and just loved him. Rocky movies are about underdogs putting their heart into what they do and overcoming the odds and winning the moral victory. Donnie isn't a perfect person. He's kind of an arrogant jerk at times, but I adore him.

The second and third movie are heavily about his growing relationship with his wife, Bianca, who is the star of her own movie that should exist too, about becoming a performing music artist while her hearing is fading. His daughter is born deaf and he has to adapt to her hearing loss. Watching Donnie learn ASL and just exist with his family is one of the highlights of the movies because though there's a brief scare in Creed II where Rocky asks if he's going to love his daughter if she's born deaf, the franchise never treats Bianca or Amara's disability as anything more than a part of who they are.

Creed movies are the best. I hope Michael B Jordan makes them as long as Stallone hung with the Rocky franchise.

23: Parker - Leverage - She was a side character who became the star of the show. Parker is brilliant. A foster kid who tangled with a brilliant gentleman thief and learned to be the best there ever was. She's autistic, she's brilliant and she's an oddball. Her relationship with Hardison was the emotional backbone of the show and throughout the entire show her need for a family is one of the threads that ties seasons together. Season 4 includes an episode where she needs to learn to dance from Hardison and he says "I've got you, I've always got you" and prepares an escape route for her at the end of the episode only for the finale to have a callback where she saves him on an elevator wire with the "I've got you". If you watch Leverage through the lens of her rising to become the new mastermind you have a 5 season show (and ongoing revival) about a girl who never fit in everywhere, prickly and defensive and unable to understand other people creating a family for herself, building a better world and being the best version of herself she can be.

Also she really hates it when people are mean to kids and I love that about her.

I love Parker. Häagen-Dazs!

24: Asuka Langley Sohru - Neon Genesis Evangelion - Why did I leave her until last? Asuka prides herself on being the best EVA pilot. She is not the best EVA pilot.

She wants Kaji, a grown man who will never be with her.

She wants her mother to have not succumb to mental illness and projected all her maternal affection onto an inanimate doll who she hung alongside herself, leaving Asuka alone in the world and so thoroughly rejected that when her mom killed herself she took the effigy of her daughter with her on the way out.

Asuka doesn't get what she wants.

Instead she gets Shinji. Someone who, while complaining the entire time about how much he hates and doesn't want to do it, is a better EVA pilot than she is. Who in End of EVA...

Well.

Y'know.

Asuka is a cautionary tale of what happens when you pin all of your personality, your reason for existing, your pride and passion onto a single thing that you do not control. It can be taken away from you and it will leave you with nothing.

Asuka needs to put others down to feel good about herself because the source of her self-esteem is in her ability to perform a task that may not always be there, that others may surpass her in. She needs to learn to create worth from within, not from external praise and validation. Shinji shares that flaw.

EVA is a show with a lot to say about isolation and connection. About drive and purpose. About the reason why we exist and what we do with our the time we're given. Hopefully through looking at the other 23 entries and seeing the themes, you'll see it's pretty clear she's just my type of character.

I love her.

BONUS

Because I didn't do all my tags, here's the remaining tags with my favorite characters:

POTO - Erik Castlevania - Alucard Umineko - Beatrice Sonic - Fleetway Super Sonic Persona - Aigis Sailor Moon - Makoto Kino/Sailor Jupiter Scott Pilgrim - Kim Pines Pathologic - Bachelor Daniil Dankovsky (the fact I do not have to justify this down here is a big reason he's not on the bingo)

#unnecessary feelings #catra did nothing wrong #the other guys #odds bobs #jesse is dynamite #legit snack #sunstone/sejic does not have a tag yet #domo arigato mr alderson #triple jump #damn fine show #Lady Bird is a great movie but doesn't get a tag #it's such a beautiful day is a work of art #gnu terry pratchett #spider posting #hulk posting #rooftop pizza #the word house in these tags is written in blue #demona did nothing wrong #sleepy donuts #tag bender #what a thrill #Rocky franchise doesn't get a tag #let's steal us a tag #it just keeps tumbling down tumbling down #written by all of us #cammie posting #at least towards the end #we've been working on this for over a week

[cupidstwin333]

For genshin impact and mha, romantic matchup please! ❣️ (I put this picture to help with what I look like, idc if you show it if you need to.)

She/they, bisexual, 19

I have blueish-gray eyes with red hair that's in a side shave (like one side on my hair is shaved). I am chubby, I have tons of freckles except on my face. I like wearing emo style clothes or comfy clothes like hoodies and sweats. I hate dresses and shorts, I don't like showing off skin.

Likes: anything with drawing/painting, games including board games, reading and writing.

Dislikes: uhhh spiders, driving (I refuse to get a driver's license it's a huge fear of mine.) I'm not scared of being in a car just driving it.

Isfp-t or my kin itto and scaramouche, I am a cancer. People say I have rbf (resting bitch face). Though I am really nice to people, unless they mess with the people I care about then I couldn't care less about them. I try to be helpful when I can. When I am around people I know, I can be loud and talkative (the loud part isn't on purpose it's just when I'm happy or excited). I tend to put people a lot before myself. I don't really like talking about my personal issues to anyone and can be known as the therapy friend. It's the opposite though when I'm around people I don't know, I'll be quiet and not wanting to interact. I have adhd, depression and anxiety (wonderful I know). When I do get upset I don't talk and won't interact until I have calmed down. I do cuss a lot though I'm more careful when I'm around kids/people I don't know. If I have a fight with someone I prefer to sit and talk it out and hate it when they walk away from me when I'm just trying to talk to them.

My favorite nation is fontaine (mostly because you can go underwater and I love sea animals, my favorite element is electric (fire is a close second).

I like a lot of the charactersin genshin but imma put the ones I don't wanna be matched with: heizou, kazuha, female characters (I don't know I just don't like the female characters romantically).

I don't write for genshin impact but with some help from an expert (a friend who plays it... 🤡) I matched you. 💘💘

After a long time of thinking 💭 your match is...

Hawks How it started:

Hawks soared through the sky, the wind ruffling his feathers as he patrolled the city. He had always been carefree, enjoying the freedom that came with being a hero. As he flew, he spotted a commotion down below. Curiosity piqued, he descended to investigate.

There, amidst a group of people, was you, Hawks couldn't help but notice the genuine kindness that radiated from you. As Hawks approached, you were helping a child who had dropped their ice cream, offering them a comforting smile. The kid's tears turned into a grin, and their parents thanked you profusely. Hawks couldn't help but be captivated by your selflessness, and your willingness to help others.

He landed gracefully nearby, his easygoing and relaxed demeanor in full display. "You know," he began, his jovial attitude shining through, "you've got a way with people. I've seen you around, and it seems like you're everyone's go-to when they need a pick-me-up."

You glanced at him, the hint of a smile tugging at the corners of your lips. "Well, I guess I like making people happy."

Hawks chuckled. "You and me both. Say, how about we grab some coffee sometime? I'd love to get to know you better."

Your heart skipped a beat, and you couldn't help but nod, your RBF softening. "Sure, that sounds nice."

And just like that, amidst the chaos of the city, Hawks found himself falling for the kind-hearted, artistic, and unique person that was you.

General headcanons:

💘Like any couple, you have disagreements from time to time. However, you both prefer sitting down to talk things out rather than letting arguments fester, which only strengthens your bond.

💘You often sketch or paint during your coffee dates, and Hawks loves watching you work on your art

💘Hawks is always there to support you, whether it's attending your art exhibitions or offering a listening ear when you're dealing with personal issues. He values your friendship and partnership immensely.

💘There are moments when neither of you feels the need to fill the air with words.

💘Hawks occasionally surprises you with small gifts related to your interests.

Childe How it started:

On a crisp, sun-dappled morning, you were on your way to visit a friend, comfortably clad in your favorite hoodie and sweats. As you strolled along the scenic path, absorbed in thought about the day ahead, you suddenly heard the unmistakable sound of a Hydro arrow whizzing through the air. Turning quickly, you spotted Childe, in the midst of a daring battle against some pesky Hilichurls. His wild grin and the way he effortlessly moved through the fight were both captivating and bewildering. It was a spectacle of pure energy and recklessness.

Drawn to the chaos of the battle, you watched with fascination. As the last Hilichurl fell, Childe turned to face you, his clothes a little disheveled and his expression alight with mischief.

"Quite the show, don't you think?" he exclaimed, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

You couldn't help but chuckle at his audacity. "Impressive," you admitted, giving him a playful smile. Childe's grin widened, and he extended a hand. "I'm Childe, by the way. I couldn't help but notice you on your way somewhere. Mind if I join you?"

Your heart fluttered as you took his hand, a sensation you hadn't expected. His impulsive nature was infectious, and before you knew it, you were walking together, discussing everything from art and games to your shared love of the electric element.

Over time, Childe's thrill-seeking spirit and your quiet, supportive nature seemed like a strange but perfect match. And it was during that first walk, amid laughter and the occasional drawn-out silences, that Childe realized he was falling in love with the enigmatic traveler with red hair. For someone who viewed himself as a miscreant, he had unexpectedly found someone who made his heart race with a different kind of excitement, the thrill of love.

General headcanons:

💘Your quiet and introverted nature contrasts sharply with Childe's impulsiveness and outgoing demeanor. At first, it seems like an odd pairing, but over time, you find that your differences complement each other perfectly.

💘Childe loves watching you paint and sketch, often silently admiring your artistic talents.

💘You introduce Childe to your love for board games, and it becomes a favorite pastime for both of you. The competitive spirit comes out, and these game nights often end in laughter and playful arguments over who cheated during the game.

💘Childe may be a bit of a miscreant, but when it comes to your well-being, he's incredibly protective and supportive.

💘Childe finds your emo style endearing and often playfully teases you about it.

I'd appreciate it if you'd reblog this, and I hope you enjoyed reading it <3

#matchups #mha matchups #bnha #mha dabi #match up #perfect match #bnha matchups #mha headcanons #mha fanfiction #fanfic #f/o x self insert #f/o imagines #romantic f/o #f/o community #f/o #cupidcore #clean romance #wholesome #genshin impact #genshin x reader #mha x reader #mha x you #mha x y/n #obeyme matchup #diabolik lovers matchup

[stargazeraldroth]

Pastry Cookie Headcanons

... Which may or may not originate from my main AU and personal interpretation of her character. Yeah, I have a tendency to do that. This contains slight spoilers for the Tower of Sweet Chaos and Cookie Odyssey.

- She views herself as aroace, but now she’s uncertain if that’s how she really feels or if it’s one of the effects of the Order’s brainwashing. She’s curious to explore her identity further, but fears potential consequences from Reverend Mother Cookie

- I feel like she wouldn’t be a big a fan of anime just because of the amount of fanservice, especially with younger-looking characters

- She wants to escape from the Order. She really does, but she’s aware that her every movement is being watched by the Shadow Sisters. She doesn’t know where they are, but she knows they’re there

- After the Tower of Sweet Chaos storyline, she started becoming haunted by the memories of those she “purged” due to being “unclean”. Some days are better than others, but it doesn’t help that the Order’s method of therapy is just praying, especially with what she now knows about the Witches

- She finds it harder to get out of bed now more than ever. She’s lost all motivation to pray and carry out her duties as a Sister of the Order, with the one thing keeping her going being the fact that her life is on the line now

- Really, she thinks of herself as more of an agnostic or atheist now, rather than someone who genuinely believes in the Order’s teachings. She doesn’t know what to believe anymore

- She desperately wants to uncover who she was before she joined the Order. She’s pretty much entirely forgotten who she was before she became a Sister, not even remembering her name, and she’s uncertain if her body is really her own

- She’s trained to be ambidextrous, but was baked right-handed

- The reason she tends to have one eye closed in her sprites is because she’s actually blind in one eye! It can either be a baking defect (this is why we don’t rebake our Cookies) or it could be the result of one of her missions

- I have two ideas for her background story. One idea is that she was an orphan from the Creme Republic who got brainwashed and indoctrinated, and the other is that she experienced something so traumatic before joining the Order that she repressed all of her memories, which is why they considered her “rebaked” as she stepped into her new life

- She sleeps on her stomach, drools, and has a very messy bedhead when she wakes up

- Her favorite color is periwinkle

- She wears a binder. Interpret that as you wish

- She has the virtues of chastity, diligence, humility, and temperance. She has the sin of wrath

- She’s very much aware of who the Cookies of Darkness are, aside from Dark Enchantress Cookie, Red Velvet Cookie, and Pomegranate Cookie. She knows who Dark Choco Cookie is, for example, and what he’s done

- ^When Dark Choco ditched the CoD and word got to the Order, she thought “Damn... maybe I can do that too”

- She would become a vigilante if given the opportunity. She doesn’t feel comfortable being in a normal Cookie society, given everything she’s been brainwashed into believing and everything she’s done, but she doesn’t feel comfortable with the Order existing either

- I can’t really see her going back to Red Velvet Cookie if she were to leave the St. Pastry Order. Not only do I feel like that would be a bad environment for her (surrounded by the Cakes she was taught and trained to slaughter, stuck in the place that traumatized her and shattered everything she thought she knew, stuck with the person she tried to kill due to those teachings and beliefs), but I also feel like Red Velvet Cookie wouldn’t trust her enough to let her stay. Which makes sense; she DID try to kill in the name of the Order, after all. How could he know if this was a trick or not?

- ^Besides, if she does leave the Order, what she needs is to discover herself and make her own choices and identity. Not become a blind follower of another Cookie/group. Plus, with all of her guilt and horror over knowing she was purging innocents the entire time, I don’t think she’d be onboard with attacking Cookies just because Dark Enchantress Cookie is going against the Witches

(Not to mention I feel like she’d be uncomfortable with how Pomegranate Cookie and Licorice Cookie both sorta hold Dark Enchantress Cookie in a god-like view, when she’s religious traumatized because of her own godly entities. She’d probably see too many parallels with the Order for her liking)

- This girl can’t cook to save her life (this will appear for a lot of characters)

- She also can’t style her hair to save her life. One of the other Sisters has to help her make her hair not look like a hot mess. But on the plus side, her hair is naturally that voluminous and very, very soft and fluffy

- She’s tall. Like, really tall. She’s actually taller than Reverend Mother Cookie

- Muscular Cookie woman. Big strong arms. Hug me

- She would be a fan of Melanie Martinez’s music and would listen to Lady Gaga’s “Bloody Mary” and “Judas”

#cookie run #cookie run kingdom #pastry cookie #cookie run headcanons #cookie run kingdom headcanons #I am ignoring her Shadow Sister costume #I want her to have a vigilante arc #And a Magic Candy #I actually give her both of those in one of my OC stories

[sukislady]

just got done rewatching MHA Heroes Rising and omg omg omg i need to talk about my favorites so i can relax my nerves so sorry if this gets kinda long lmao

if you do end up reading til the end plz tell me whatd you think about it if you’ve seen it!! let’s talk !!

cw: ⚠️SPOILERS⚠️

i just wanna point out that i still get butterflies in my tummy and get all excited when i watch it as if i’m watching it for the first time 🥹

Bakugo and Deku? love them so much they’re my comfort characters

katsuma makes my uterus wanna harbor a kid (i don’t want one if they’re not as cute as he is)

can we just give props to iida who kept a calm and respective leadership role when they were informed??

like they were all worried then here’s iida breaking down shit and getting his teams together cause he’s amazing

i will never get over the fight scenes in any of the movies

the animators put some kinda drug in it cause that shit is always so immersive !!!!

round of applause for shoto!! he made endeavor’s flashfire fist into HIS OWN WITH HIS ICE !we love to see it

SERO! SERO! SERO!

MOMO! MOMO! MOMO! i love her so much if that wasn’t obvious (btw we share the same birthday)

i feel like the hero society has fucked these kids up because they’re literally putting their lives on the line to fight villains and they’re still freshmen 🧍🏽‍♀️ get your shit together hero society

can we also talk about shoji towards the end? they way he went to protect those kids without even thinking??? omg i love him too

OJIRO AND JIRO !!!

JIRO! JIRO! JIRO!!!

whenever i see jiro my heart skips a beat

bro tokoyami and dark shadow will forever have a place in my heart

remember how tokoyami couldn’t really control dark shadow in the darkness in the beginning during the training arc? now look at him !!!

he had dark shadow under control until that bitch hit mina— also props to those two for protecting her from the rubble

ill never understand why the villains wanna take over the world to “rebuild” it after causing massive destruction like excuse, killing people and destroying their shit isn’t gonna make them wanna follow you or believe in you

i also realized something

stories i see regarding momo always paints her to be a stuck up spoilt brat but she’s anything but and i wish she got more love

ALSO PETITION TO PUT SOME MORE CLOTHES ON HER THANKS IN ADVANCE

ALSO ALSO THROW SOME CLOTHES ON HAGAKURA TOO PLZ

have you noticed when kiri goes unbreakable his eyes harden too? like wouldn’t that be uncomfortable?

imagine how that must’ve been when he was first learning out to use it ouch

KIRI LOVES HIS “BIG BRO” AMAJIKI and i love their relationship 🥹 kiri respects him so much

i only bring tamaki up because of that beast kiri, tsu, shoto and iida were fighting

his quirk was like tamaki’s mixed with the nine tails cause his roar looked awfully like kurama’s beast bomb

i was also wondering why doesn’t class 1a have a student with a healing quirk? do they know how useful that would be???

like an on-field medic cause gods know that fucking class needs it

mahoro’s quirk is so useful too???

like she can distract enemies (maybe once she’s older and has better control) AND she can use it to signal for help !!

realistically speaking (ik ik it’s an anime but still) if she hadn’t made the derpy deku then bakugo wouldn’t have found them in time and deku plus mahoro and katsuma wouldve been killed

we love watching katsuki save his bestie rival 🫶🏽

and katsu encouraging deku to get stronger in a round about way? i live for the kinda nice bakugo

idc what anyone says— bakugo is one of the best characters that has amazing character development

as someone who can relate to having a god complex and thinking everyone’s below them (not anymore with the help of therapy) it’s hard to acknowledge someone else being better than or stronger than you

that shit takes a lot out of you but katsuki bakugo has grown, learnt his mistakes and is now trying to right his wrongs

character development at its finest 👏🏽

omg i can’t wait til the fucking manga chapters are animated

my eyes will be so swollen 💔

wait til we get hit with these two

watching heroes rising just brought me back to a place where their relationship changed forever

deku trusted him enough to hand over OFA

but it’s the fact that katsuki trusted deku enough to take his hand !!!

in the beginning he wouldn’t have done that he’d let deku be or try to out do him

he was even worried about what would happen if deku isn’t able to use OFA and become quirkless again omg

omg i’m sorry i feel like this is getting way off track 💀

if you made it to the end of this and wanna hear more about my love and thoughts for these idiots i will gladly do it !!

#˙ 𖥦 ⪧ ◟chattin ‘˒ ˶ #mha #my hero academia heroes rising #my hero #ranting #rant incoming #hmmm fangirling if you will #mha sero #mha denki #mha kirishima #mha mina #incorrect bnha #mha bakugo katsuki #mha text #mha iida #mha ochako #mha oc #mha izuku #mha smau #mha x y/n #mha todoroki #bnha texts #mha deku #mha texts #bnha smau #mha fake texts #mha bakugou #mha smut #bnha incorrect quotes #mha tenya

[pulsar-ray]

Things I recommend if you're schizospec

Take a few break days from caffeine every week . Fruit juice or decaf are good alternatives if you do it for the taste

Sometimes there will times or days maybe when. you are so tired & probably too tired to do anything . Sleeping is optimal for the organism in this case . If it happens too often do see a doctor but . for me personally after any big event I need time to sleep for a day to recover . The horrors etc

Paranoia is so hard so bad to talk to anyone . It is okay if you cannot maintain yourself at the same level but do try to keep relationships intact . It is truly horrifying but having at least a few people is very good [I cannot talk to most people more than once every now & then without panic attack but I have my one guy & even though I'm still scared he'll kill me I am significantly less scared about him]

Pill organizer . Pill organizer slays

Semi related to the paranoia thing but it is also good to try to maintain any healthy relationship you can. I like to think of them as 'business casual' relationships in which they're my coworkers. We aren't really close & we don't really feel much about each other but we brighten up the office for each other

Sometimes it feels so awesome to indulge into delusion. Ie. connecting the dots about how everyone can read your mind . Generally thinking about it more / purposefully triggering it is actually quite bad even though it is thrilling

In a similar vein don't let anyone else encourage stuff like that. There are relatively harmless delusions that don't really matter [par example I believe I am a monster & also dead & also an automaton et cetera & I'm at an okay enough dose of meds that they don't really scare or affect me. They're sort of comforting & my therapist says they're okay to let live so long as they don't get too severe] & those aren't so bad but. any of the bad ones are bad to be encouraged!

I don't know if it's my schizoaffective or autism & quite frankly I don't care but . Having routine charts or plans that can be looked at or said aloud calm me down. Structure makes me feel safe . I can control that

If you're not diagnosed psychotic & you take ADHD meds that is bad. Those are stimulants & they make psychosis worse

Also, any drug or alcohol will make psychosis worse! Not a slay!

Comfort object such as stuffed animal or blanket is always really nice. In my psychoses every object is sentient or has a personality or whatever it is so I go for the nice ones to keep with me. My blanket is very understanding & Pink Monster instantly attached to me / vice versa

Most people will be open about thinking you're delusional or crazy or whatever 'negative' term they assign psychotic people. They'll be horrifically offput ! As much as it sucks my best advice is to find people who understand / are cool about things . Nobody will be perfect in this regard but it'll be better

Auditory hallucinations suck butt! Personally listening to music or otherwise audio input all the time helps me a lot

If someone is telling you to drink chemicals kill someone become god et cetera they are probably not entirely real. They could be a real person but they're likely at least partially psychosis. If they are a real person leave them immediately

Similarly, if something completely implausible happens [ie. aliens contacting you, cartoon character living in your backyard] this is also probably not real. I know it can be very very hard to tell but if you're in good enough mind sometimes it is useful

The weather/the words you saw/the song you heard/et cetera are not telling you how your life will go. Even if it really really seems like they are I really promise they're not. I still think they are but there is no way in hell some 2000s song telling me that I have to become god is true. This goes with my implausible thing, for despite believing it I know it is not true

If you are religious bring that up in therapy. Religious delusions are so common & therapy can help them to not spawn

Your cognition will probably worsen as a result of your disorder! Just try to do what you can [mental games, children's books, et cetera] to keep it at whatever level you can. If everything is still hard & bad that is okay. Living independently is not always the goal , being happy is. If you need a carer to be happy & safe that is okay

Laughing & making fun of psychosis characters [hallucinations, things you are told in delusion, not characters with psychosis] can be nice. It is a form of power over them

There will be more posts like this sometime but alas I must go. Stay safe everyone

#save save #the big schiz #long post #advices advirtues

[jeffbytes]

elaborating a bit more on Nick's importance to me, something i've only really recently felt more inclined to look back on and resurface in my mind given the..... nature... of this story 🥲 going back through my old facebook to find the images has definitely tightened my chest a lot as i'm writing this, but i think it's as good a time as any to share now i've done so.

trigger warning for domestic violence / physical assault. contains content made pre transition, identities and characters i no longer use, please respect this and do not use them

observing the bittersweet horrors below the cut

the movie released in 2016. i was 19 / 20 yrs old at the time. i was still a furry, identifying with the label, with a "fursona" all that jazz (i still have animal sonas and interest in costuming as my sonas now, i just dont identify as a furry or interact with the community / go to the meet ups anymore). most importantly i was in a co habiting relationship with my then boyfriend, who we will refer to as L (bc he certainly didnt act like a W lol....)

we've got the trigger warning out of the way so i'll be frank - L was my abuser. i was a domestic violence victim to this man. he was unpredictable, attacked me in my own home several times a week, over mundane things like a chore needing doing or not smoking inside or needing to wake him up at 4pm. it's stuff that still haunts me to this very day (high intensity therapy finally happening, end of this year) that i wont elaborate much more on but it was BAD, ok. really really bad, shit you only see happening in movies. i was nearly DEAD, on the last occassion. i lived that horror for over a year whilst we lived together, and the knock on effect its had... i have not been able to work since, i lost my job due to needing to be sent to hospital on my shift a couple days after and fired for my "inconsistent appearence" at work. i lost everything to this man. i've only just started coming out of my shell in terms of holding a relationship in the last 2 years, largely in part given to the bravery that self shipping has brought me.

so here we mention Zootopia. Zootropolis over here w/e it's not important - Zootopia released in the same year 2016, after much hype from myself it was one of few things keeping me going at the time the awaited release of this movie, and i fell hard for Nick. how much i related to his character (even more so in recent times) how tender he seemed underneath everything and his turn around, everything about this character comforted me.

and i started to selfship with him! i didnt know what selfshipping was at the time, it was just me drawing my at the time fursona with him romantically and had no idea the SS community existed until just a few years ago. i never really felt the need to ship with characters when i was in IRL relationships before - and the fact i started drawing myself with Nick was an eye opener for me that something wasn't right for me. that i was deep down seeking refuge in a fictional relationship bc i was starting to break down and come to terms with the fact my IRL relationship was not only unhealthy, but dangerous.

it was the comfort of shipping with Nick and that realisation it gave me that gave me the wake up call i needed. one morning L was on another of his hands on tyrades, and scared our poor elderly cat, seeing my baby scared and knowing i'd been putting my heart into new outlets, i ejected him from the property that day. sure, L was able to manipulate his way back into my life for another couple months later that year that ended the exact same way (for good this time, good riddance) but in that moment i knew i wanted better than what i had when i found that in Nick at the time.

while my self ship with him has been quite on and off since then, i'll never forget the part he played in essentially saving my life. aforementioned, L nearly KILLED ME one time, right towards the end of that second appearence i mentioned before. i'll spare the specifics, i'm lucky to be alive.

i don't know where i would be without that wake up call. Nick and my sweet elderly cat Clawey rest in peace, they both saved my life in 2016 and i'm forever grateful for that ;___;

#jeffs personal posts #no other tags for this one naturally #replies are fine! i just turned off RBs due to the nature of it #tw domestic violence #greywilde

[quizkiller]

// V E N T ? (mentioned how much i hate traumacore: mentions various topics of trauma, I have kept mine anonymous as they are very personal)

The truth that makes me very sad (and VERY anxious), is the fact that one of the best-known aesthetics on the internet alongside with weirdcore, is traumacore… Why did they make an aesthetic with things from Sanrio or innocent things and translate them into such terrible things as trauma? I say this as a person who has suffered various traumas at various stages of his life.

I don't like the excuse of this being a "vent", as its name says, IT'S AN AESTHETIC. NOT. TRAUMA. IT. IS. AN. AESTHETIC. STOP BEING EDGY AND DOING VENTS THAT ROMANTIZE OR NORMALIZE TRAUMA AND DON'T MAKE IT SO IT REMAINS STUCK AS A PART OF YOUR LIFE WHERE YOU WERE HURT/INJURED..it makes me sad that Sanrio's My Melody, stuffed lambs and several things (which are my comfort) are so used on this topic. People who believe that putting traumas of various horrible things that I will not mention (because it's my trigger) is an fucking aesthetic.

No, I'm not a snowflake: I usually have oc's or watch series/books with dark themes, I draw mostly graphic gore from time to time, I do vent/therapy art… Seeing phrases with a damn dark/psychiatric hospital background next to a Sanrio character with phrases like, "everyone hates you" or stuff like that of generic emo boy/girl/enby does not only make me sick, it makes me furious how they normalize phrases of traumatic moments, how they use happy things with awful themes as 4bus3, s3lf-h4rm or other stronger ones, and even more so the fact of turning all this into A FUCKING AESTHETIC. WHETHER YOU ARE USING IT ON PLAYLISTS OR NOT, THE "VENTS" YOU ARE MAKING, ARE ROMANTIZING IN AN INDIRECT WAY NOT TO OVERCOME IT WITH THERAPY OR A HEALTHIER VENT TO FEEL GOOD.

I know some of you could also say "Don't look at it if you don't like it" that's nonsence, I'm complaining about this as a person who suffered from many things involving trauma, THE FACT THAT THIS WAS MADE INTO AN AESTHETIC IN WHICH YOU CAN SAY "haha so edgy and depressing, I want to join this trend". Believe me, I've seen many people who don't even have traumas, but since it's an aesthetic that's sooo edgy and emo, they make images similar to weirdcore, only with strong themes like "vent" with Hello Kitty because it's super "cool and popular".

If you are a person who has suffered from trauma: Do not normalize reliving the trauma with playlists, videos or poorly edited images of this for "supposed comfort", this does not heal you at all: it makes you feel stuck, it does not help you to move on or to improve as a person or overcome to become a stronger person, this is the worst thing you can do. If you can't go to therapy for whatever reason (stigma, money, etc), talk with someone for help or do art therapy (it's healthier than making a vent of you reliving horrible moments, you don't even need to know how to draw this kind of therapy, so anyone can do it), do not relive your traumas with things that return you to the past, it makes them normalized/romanticized and it's not good for you, nor for me or for anyone around you..

Delete traumacore before I have another panic attack. Seeing how they used The Caretaker (Artist who made the "Everywhere at the end of time" album), an artist who usually gives me a lot of comfort, someone recently made a traumacore playlist of this with a stuffed animal of a lamb with a rather horrible phrase of "4bus3" that triggered my panic attack.

#fck u traumacore #traumacore #autism #actually autistic #vent post #tw vent #tw trauma #tw triggers #aesthetic #weirdcore #art theraphy #take care seriously

[risingfire17-the-weeb-trash]

40 Day Anime Challenge Day 10- A character you despise with all your heart and soul: Almost everyone in Welcome to the NHK (2006)

I was excited to watch this. It had great reviews, and fans raved that it was a realistic and positive portrayal of people with mental health issues. As someone with these myself, of course I was excited.

But here are my thoughts after watching the anime: 

1) It is not a realistic portrayal of people with mental illness, because the characters are not given much characterization beyond the problematic behaviors of their disorders, no redeeming qualities, and very little character development that was rushed at the end.

2) It is not a positive portrayal of people with mental illness at all. Once again, they are almost entirely reduced to stereotypes, and they’re pretty terrible people. If this is the representation people like me, who has put in a lifetime of therapy and self-reflection to continue overcoming my issues and have healthy relationships, then I fear what those without mental illness would think of me based on what they see in these individuals.

So let’s get to why I despise the characters, yeah? (Spoilers ahead)

Tatsuhiro Sato, our protagonist. 

I don’t have a problem with the fact that he is a NEET. I have a problem with the fact that he never got professional help. I have a problem with the fact that he lied to his parents to keep getting their money, and cursed them when they finally cut him off. I have a problem with the way he treated his friends, yelling, name calling, throwing things, and then guilting them into letting him mooch off of them. I have a problem with his attraction to Misaki. First, because she is a teenager, and instead of staying away from her so he doesn’t act on this, he continues to spend time with her, has her pretend to be his girlfriend at one point, uses her as a cook and housekeeper, and ultimately confesses his love and starts dating her. The second reason is that until a rushed confession in the last episode that may not even be genuine because he said it to literally talk her off the ledge, he was only attracted to her physically and because she would do anything he wanted. He told her multiple times that she was a nuisance, a nag, had a terrible personality, etc. He belittled and bullied her through most of the series.

Misaki Nakahara, our wannabe hero. 

Clearly, she’s a struggling teen and needs help. What she does not need to do is berate and enable a grown man that she only latches on to because looking down on him helps her feel good about herself (which she admitted to halfway through the series and never worked at changing afterward) She coerces him to go along with her “treatment plan” rather than encouraging him to seek actual professional help. She nags at him, bursts into his home, and often pushes him farther out of his comfort zone than he can handle at the time. She enables his codependency when she starts cooking and cleaning for him, all the while scolding him for not doing it himself, so he learns that he is incompetent and should just let her do everything and accept her criticism when he does. I’ll give her a bit more of a pass than the other characters, because unlike the other characters behaving like children, she is literally a child. But she is still a toxic and manipulative person and her problematic behavior needs to be addressed by her guardians (and a licensed therapist)

Hitomi Kashiwa. 

This girl was the catalyst for Sato having a breakdown, always talking about conspiracies. When she comes back into his life, she asks him to join a group she is part of for a trip, not telling him that they are all there to commit suicide! She takes her vulnerable junior, who, despite all his flaws, is at least trying to get himself together, and exposes him to a group exacerbate his depression and he almost gets killed because of it. I haven’t read the manga, but I am told she tries to have an affair with Sato after she is married with a kid. (And the person she is married to, Akira Jogasaki, is so sweet and supportive, he’s the only character I like in this show, so it really hurts to see her betray him like that.)

Kauru Yamazaki, Sato’s best friend, giving otakus everywhere a bad name.

 This guy is supposed to be the “functional” one of the group, being the only one who has a job and is in school to pursue a meaningful career. That’s great and all, but he has a shit personality. His life revolves around perving on 2D women, and complaining that real women can never compare because of the imperfections that make them human, like having their own personalities, motives, and goals. He voices this in a way that is very misogynistic, painting women as manipulative. When he finally starts to fall for a human girl, he pursues her after being rejected, gets mad at her for interacting with other males, and has Sato videotape his confession to her without her knowledge for reference for their game. After moving home, he dates a girl who looks just like her, implying that he does not love this girl, but just sees her as a stand-in. And this is the guy Sato goes to for advice, ugh.

Finally, Megumi Kobayashi. 

After finding out about Sato’s issues, she lies to him and manipulates him into joining a toxic MLM scheme. Even when he tries to get out, she tricks him multiple times into buying her stuff. Look, I feel sorry for her circumstances, but that doesn’t excuse her behavior.

This show was painful to watch. (Even with Akira Jogasaki carrying the whole show on his back) I don’t know if the manga did any better and never will because I’m never touching this series again. I hate these people. Time to search for an anime that is actually a realistic and positive portrayal of people with mental illness.

#anime #40 day anime challenge #welcome to the nhk #anime review #bad anime #poor portrayal of mental illness #terrible people #tatsuhiro satou #misaki nakahara #hitomi kashiwa #kaoru yamazaki #megumi kobayashi #codependancy #unlicensed therapy #manipulation #toxic people #mental illness does not excuse being a terrible person #shows i hate #not sorry