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flubnuggetpurple · 7 hours

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Dove Cameron’s Alchemical album is so fucking bat coded I feel like a conspiracy theorist.

(This went off the rails at one point, so WARNING: vague mentions of sexual assault and being drugged without consent)

First song: Lethal Woman.

Cass, all over, right? The bridge is “she walks like a saint, floats like an angel, sharp like a knife under the table”

c o m e o n

Second song: Still.

“Man on the screen, they only see whatever you want them to see” and “Supernova self-erasing, hourglass is always draining”

Could be either Tim or Bruce, but I lean toward Tim because of “how dare you, dare me to love you, if you jump I will too” because whenever Tim decides he loves someone, he’s the ride or die, ends of the earth type, even if they don’t even know who he is. A) how and why he became Robin in the first place, B) The Cloning Thing, C) an argument could be made for the Captain Boomerang thing (but now that I think of it, I think I’m mostly basing this off fanon oh well ontotgenextone).

Song Three: Breakfast.

I will admit out the gate that this one’s a reach, so I’m just going to leave Selina here.

Song Four: Sand.

For this I’m thinking Tim or Jason, for different reasons.

For Tim;

“I saw the end when we began, you couldn’t love the way I can, I tried to bargain with the stars, for more than half your heart but you have more pieces of me than the dessert has sand, and I have less pieces of you than I could hold in my hand” and “our love’s misaligned, ‘cause you’re on my mind every night, I stretch out the time, and now I know why.”

I’m just making it obvious I read the Red Robin run, aren’t I?

For Jason:

“What's worse, being wanted but not loved, or loved but not wanted? What's worse, hearing what you wanna hear, or hearing what's honest?” And “What hurts, is the one thing that you wanna do, is the one thing that you shouldn’t do”

Pre-death Jason, but like, right after the Garzonas thing.

Song five: White Glove.

Okay hear me out.

This is part one of the Dick Grayson saga; the persona he shows to the public. This is Richie Wayne. This is every honeypot mission he went on too young, every woman he’s had to seduce for information (it’s one hundred percent happened before don’t fight me) every source of sexual trauma (that one I’m ninety percent sure is canon) that keeps him up at night.

And this guy’s been a vigilante for over twenty years, he can absolutely recognize drugs by sight, smell, and how they feel when he’s too late to notice something slipped in his drink. He’s felt nearly every strain of fear toxin and every one of Ivy’s pollens. If anyone knows their drugs it’s pretty boy Richie Wayne and Robin.

Song six: God’s Game

This one I’m definitely taking some lines out of context, but for Jason, “Just a boy with a man's face, playin' God's game” is when he’s taking over Crime Alley, pit-mad and trigger happy. “I prepare with so much care, I was runnin', it was stunnin', I am desperate from delusions, not much of a solution, never knowin' what the truth is, oh, God” is when hid plans start to fall apart, when Bruce slits his throat with a batarang, when eventually the pit-madness eventually starts to wear off and he realizes what all he did to Tim, who was a child at the time, not to mention Robin.

He nearly became what the Joker was to him to the next Robin, and I feel like at some point that would occur to him.

Song seven: Boyfriend.

(…Admittedly, I don’t think this one has any grounding in canon and if it does, feel free to educate me.)

So, obviously I could mention Kate Kane at this point, but I know basically nothing about her, so instead I’m going to talk about Steph.

So Steph has definitely had some shitty experiences with guys, right? Like, her dad to begin with, but also the guy who got her pregnant (at like fourteen? Maybe I’m just sheltered, but I don’t think anything about that relationship was heathy—again, I haven’t read many of the comics, so correct me if I’m wrong), then Tim, which, I love him as a character, but didn’t he date her in the mask for like, months, and I have some vague recollections of some dickish things he said (i know i know i need to read more comics)—whatever. Men are shitty.

I have a scene in my head. Like, Steph’s in college, at a bar with friends or something, maybe it’s an under cover op, idk, and there’s this girl she’s been lowkey watching all night. She doesn’t quite know why, but she just keeps catching her eye, and okay, it’s not like she’s never questioned her sexuality, she knows Cass. There have been Extensive conversations with Babs on the subject.

Anyway, so at some point, there’s obviously some sort of argument between the girl and the guy she came with and the girl’s crying, and Steph just Can’t Handle That.

She goes up to her, comforts her, makes a new friend, listens to the whole story.

And at some point, she has the thought.

“I could be a better boyfriend than him.”

She doesn’t necessarily do anything about it that night, but now that she’s had the thought, it won’t leave her alone.

Yeah. So. Maybe I’ll write that story later.

Song eight (last song): FRAGILE THINGS.

Dick Grayson part two; So your mentor (dad) just died, leaving you an angry murder child, another one hanging on by a thread after losing eighty percent of his support system, a grieving butler (grandfather), and a mantle the size of the Most Dangerous City in America. Any direction you move is going to hurt someone, and one kid is more likely to snap and murder people than the other, and hey, if you have to be Batman anyway, might as well let your brilliant kid brother be Nightwing, right? Except, whoops, you forgot to mention that last part and now Timmy thinks you just replaced him without telling him and fuck you knew you were forgetting something and now there’s a goddamned imposter Bruce and—

“Love is like a house of fragile things, where hearts can be broken as easy as antiques, and now there’s glass all shattered at my feet, what we built together, you left in smithereens.”

Anyway. This got kind of incoherent (or maybe it was from the start?)

I accidentally added a poll at the bottom and can’t figure out how to remove it, so.

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intriq · 6 months

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I love being silly in ur asks!!!!

How do you think the Batfam would react to you being unexpectedly good at one of their "niche" (that isn't the right word I'm sorry) skills? Like gun skills(Jay) or flexibility (Dick)- 🌻

(You also don't have to do this pookie Intri I just love asking questions)

cackling, giggling even. im going to do this. ive been stewing over this since you sent it to me.

Tim - photography

He's probably a little surprised, no doubt. He's got a knack for photography, he's pretty good at it. I wouldn't be surprised if he has some sort of side job where people commission him for photos. He finds it to be a pleasant surprise when you give him a photo you took yourself as a little gift. It doesn't really matter if it's a picture of him or not, he'll still probably find a safe place to keep it so he can always look at it. He makes it a regular thing to trade photos with you after too.

Barbara - computers

Barbara doesn't exactly learn that your good at computers in person or directly. She hears it from the others after one night she wasn't available to provide information as Oracle and you instead did your thing just as smoothly, like it wasn't even an issue to navigate the Batcomputer in her place. She'll probably invite you to hangout with her after, trading tricks that'll no doubt sharpen not only her knowledge, but yours too.

Dick - flexibility

Hands down, Dick is shocked. He doesn't even know until one day you just so happen to showcase it while taking some thug down while on patrol with him, and he's obsessed there after. He probably constantly tries to see if there's anything he can do you can't, and he's probably always wrong in the end. Bonus points if there's something you can do that he can't, so he will pester you to teach him. Your definitely his new favorite person to patrol with after.

Jason - gun skills

He doesn't really let it show but he would be surprised. Amazed may be a bit of an overstatement, but it really depends on the type of person you are. If you don't look the type-- in his eyes-- to wield a gun, then yeah he's an amazed kind of surprised. Otherwise he's kind of neutral about it. He'd probably be interested in seeing if you can show him up in some gun tricks, though.

Bruce - strategy

He doesn't even notice it at first. He's far too busy planning something out when you offer your input that is incredibly thought out, and he runs with it. He adds it to his plan and it moves swimmingly, far better than expected. It doesn't click with him that you're a good strategist until after the mission he was planning for was all said and done.

Duke & Steph - puzzles & riddles [steph specifically]

Steph probably doesn't have much of a reaction. She's probably entirely neutral about it, a little uncaring. She'd still talk with you about it, though. Duke, though, is probably the total opposite. All hyped up and energized about it, happy that he's got something to talk with you about. Not to mention it's probably a topic you and him would enjoy discussing. He's just a hyperactive happy kid, I feel.

Cass - stealth

I feel like Cass would be surprised your good at stealth in its own aspect. No matter how she learns it, it'll probably lead to her staring at you and wondering "how the fuck did you do that" over and over.

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sepia-stained-sunset · 9 months

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You know what? Tim and Steph are way too dramatic to not start drama every other night at the Manor.

They must get exhausted when everyone else argues and Bruce goes more reclusive than ever and their way of coping is to have fun and just dredge up their old drama and see how everyone else likes it.

On a random Tuesday, Steph will text asking Tim if he wants to fight and he'll reply with"yeah, lol" and they'll spend the whole dinner screaming about the bro-code and how it's a betrayal for Steph to date Cass or something and then they leave to get milkshakes with Cass and Duke.

#tim drake #stephanie brown #tim drake headcanon #stephanie brown headcanon #batfam shenanigans

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friendlyneighborhoodcapricorn · 2 years

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Obligatory batfam headcanons post that accidentally ended up being about them and sleep

Dick falls asleep pretty much anywhere if he’s really tired (yes, they’ve found him passed out in the chandelier before)

He mostly sleeps on his stomach and sprawling across the available surface, unless he’s having nightmares, during which he’ll curl into himself

In stark contrast to this is Tim. No matter how exhausted he is, he needs to actually be lying down to be able to fall asleep (whether that’s in a bed, on the couch or the floor isn’t important)

Sleeps half on his stomach, half on his side (picture Marty McFly) and often wakes up with pins and needles in at least one of his arms

Bruce falls asleep on his back, hands folded on his chest, but usually wakes up on his side (or, occasionally, with one of his kids tucked against his side bc they were having a bad night)

If you were to try to sneak into his room, he’d be awake in an instant, but you could set of an airhorn beside his head and he’d sleep through it

Cass is the queen of sleeping curled up. She has a ton of pillows and practically disappears in them

She sleeps with a throw blanket because she finds it too cold without a blanket but too warm with an actual duvet

Damian has extra blankets in his room because he’s used to warmer weather

He sleeps stretched on his side, head on his arm (and the other occasionally around a stuffed animal, though no one mentions this)

Steph moves around a lot in her sleep. She falls asleep on her side, arm under her pillow, and wakes up hanging half out of bed, head against the floor

She falls asleep listening to music and cuddling a stuffed purple seal (why a seal? Idk)

Jason is either eagle-spread or curled up tightly. No in-between

He talks in his sleep, but most of it is incoherent nonsense

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journalofmycrazymind · 1 year

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Batfamily headcanon (Maybe AU)

Tim and Steph being Robin at the same time and being menaces about it.

#batfamily #batman #dc robin #tim drake #stephanie brown #batfamily headcanons #batfam headcanons #batfamily headcanon #batfam headcanon #tim drake headcanon #stephanie brown headcanon #batman headcanon #batfam

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multifanritz · 2 years

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Amazon showed this to me

So now I have a headcanon that steph gives everyone the WEIRDEST gifts. I feel like she is in reddit groups dictated to finding stuff like this

#steph: wdym its not a gift if i use Bruces credit card??#stephanie brown #spoiler #dc spoiler #batfam #batman #dc comics #headcanon #steph brown #stephanie brown headcanon #bruce wayne

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the-undead-robin · 2 years

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sorry these are so many damn screenshots but i decided that i'll tolerate bruce bossing me around if it's for steph to have a day off cause god knows she needs it

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redactedrem · 16 days

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Headcanon where after so many arguments between the batkids and Bruce over his paranoia and complete disregard for his kids privacy, the entire family had compromised with (in the healthiest way possible) downloading life360 on their phones and that's how they all keep track of each other.

Now Bruce knew that this is mostly for his benefit and is supposed to be a healthy alternative for his unhealthy paranoia and helicopter parenting, but what he wasn't expecting was for his kids to start keeping track of him.

He's putting gas in his car and Dick calls him because apparently Dick has been watching him drive around on the app? And Bruce is currently at a gas station thats right around the corner from a Taco Bell and now Dick wants him to get food for everyone since he's already there.

He's driving home from a meeting and Steph calls him because her and Duke were shopping in the area and wants to know if he can pick them up, when he asks how she knew he was on the same street, he gets a "Oh I just like to stalk everyone on the app for funsies." as an answer.

Jason calls him and he can barely get out a hello before Jason cuts him off, "Bruce why the fuck is your phone battery on 5%, charge your damn phone" which completely stuns him because why does he know that. He clears his throat before answering. "Jason, what?"

"Everyone can see each others phone batteries on '360, now charge your phone." Is all he gets before Jason hangs up on him.

#I have more ideas in my head #but I didn't want to make the post too long #might repost later #might write a small fanfic off of this #I actually don't have life360 but my friend does and I'm basing this off of how she interacts with her mom #batfamily #batfam #headcanon #dick grayson #nightwing #bruce wayne #batman #jason todd #red hood #tim drake #red robin #cardinal tim drake #stephanie brown #spoiler

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incorrectbatfam · 22 days

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Bruce is constantly asking the kids what they like to eat so he can freeze dry their favorites into oblivion as apocalypse rations

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oldmannapping · 3 months

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Crack HC, because is there any other kind?

Bruce realises embarrassingly late that his Batkids can’t swim.

Gotham’s beach water is pure chemicals and sewage, and the city’s public school funding doesn’t exactly prioritise teaching kids to swim. Steph, Duke and Jason had never seen a swimming pool before meeting Bruce.

Tim’s parents meant to sign him up for swim lessons after he fell into their indoor fountain when he was three and nearly drowned - it would have been so embarrassing if it happened when they had guests! - but forgot.

So Bruce is like. Oh no my baby-soldiers must learn to swim.

Damian insists that since the League trained him to withstand waterboarding, he’s fine. Bruce pulls a muscle in his cheek from clenching his jaw so hard.

Dick insists that he can swim and manages one impressive mermaid-style undulation before becoming disoriented and slamming into the wall.

Duke covers himself in floaties and clings to a pool noodle for dear life, eschewing dignity because “this isn’t how I die”.

Conversely, Tim sinks like a stone, curls up on the bottom of the pool, and waits for death.

Cass, with the lowest body fat percentage, also sinks but manages to squeeze into one of the drains. She re-emerges six hours later in an estuary in New Jersey.

Steph refuses to let go of the wall by the deep end, scuttling away like a crab when Bruce tries to poke her into the water with a skimmer net.

Jason scoffs at them all and manages a perfect swan dive before flailing and crashing into Steph, causing both of them to panic and use each other as ladders to get out.

Alfred asks Barbara for the security camera footage and makes everyone watch it twice a year to keep their egos in check.

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intriq · 7 months

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How do you think the batfam and co. (Selina, Clark, Diana) take their coffee? - 🌻

I DONT KNOW COFFEE IVE ONLY EVER DRANK IT ONCE AND THAT WAS LAST MONTH POOKIE. FOR THE FIRST TIME TOO MIND YOU

Tim: obviously strong as FUCK. That shit will keep you up for DAYS. DAYS. Has been dubbed the king of espressos by local cafes at this point. First time barista’s quake in fear when they get his order I feel.

Cass: she gives vibes that she’d like her coffee bitter as fuck but imagine how funny it is one day someone else takes a sip and it’s the sweetest shit you ever drank. Enough to give you cavities with one sip.

Steph: she gives me the vibes of someone who would drink a latte, honestly. Maybe with caramel or vanilla syrup, too. She channels the bitterness of that drink into whatever the fuck chaos she wants to cause that day.

Clark: cappuccino 4 lifer this man is. You can’t tell me otherwise. He’d die before he drinks any bitter shit. Gives Steph bombastic side eye the first time they might’ve gotten their orders together.

Diana: this cafe in my hometown has a spiced brown sugar cold brew as part of their seasonal special and I can see her drinking that tbh

Selina: she gives iced latte with mocha syrup honestly

Bruce: black like his emo ass soul /j

In all seriousness Bruce seems like a secret die hard pumpkin spice latte fan

Duke: he tried coffee once and probably hated it (like me). Probably tried a cold brew maybe, white chocolate syrup and hated that shit with a passion.

Jason: the only thing that calls for him is an americano honestly. Maybe with hazelnut syrup or smthn

Dick: he SCREAMS cookies n cream frappe

Damian: surprisingly enough probably also gets an espresso but because of Tim he makes the barista’s have a trauma response

Alfred: only drinks coffee when he’s desperate. He doesn’t give the type to be picky but I can see him drinking a latte when he’s desperate for a bitter wake up call.

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sepia-stained-sunset · 11 months

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Whether they're friends or in a relationship, Steph and Tim actively enable each other's worst decisions because they find the results hilarious.

Steph let Tim give her a tattoo and now she has a mess of ink across her collar bone that's vaguely shaped like a Superman sign instead of the Robin symbol

Tim let Steph give him a piercing and they were both almost impressed by how much he bled by the end

#stephanie brown #tim drake #stephanie brown headcanon #tim drake headcanon #they're chaotic to the core #dc

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strawberrylet · 1 year

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idea: batman and the robins never acknowledge that there have been different robins. like they all act that there's only been one and that they're the same person basically.

Justice League who's used to teen dick not kid jason: who is this child?

Batman: what do you mean, it's robin.

-

Batman and Tim walking through the watchtower:

Justice League who remembers robin literally dying: ...*side eye*...

-

Flash: batman… who is this?

Batman: robin. you’ve met before. several times.

Flash: no, i met a black haired boy. this is a blonde girl!

Batman: her name is robin

-

Superman: it's time for you to explain. where are you getting all these children?

Batman: i have no idea what you're talking about.

Superman *pointing to damian*: who is this kid?!

Damian: i'm robin. i'm offended you would even ask that? don't you remember *proceeds to recite a story dick told him of his robin days*

#batman #robin #dc robin #justice league #bruce wayne #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #stephanie brown #steph brown #damian wayne #batfam #dc hcs #batfamily #robins #batfam hc #batfam headcanons #batman hc #batman headcanon

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strange-birb · 6 months

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Based on og bost by @thethirdtriplet

Order left to right pic 1 lolz

Damian, cass, dick, duke, Tim, Steph :)

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gotham-bird · 7 months

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Bruce before a gala: Alright, rules for tonight. No arson, no one gets married. No pulling the fire alarm. No punching people, faking a medical issue to get out of it, or doing the Gangnam Style dance. No ER trips, no graffiti, and no spiking the punch. No killing anyone, setting anything on fire, or playing Jenga with the furniture. No putting dish soap in the indoor fountain. And NO confetti poppers.

Jason:….. it’s like you just handed us a bingo card of things to do, B.

Tim: I hadn’t even considered the medical thing.

Damian: *silently hides the dish soap behind his back*

Dick: Ah, my entire childhood right there.

Bruce: That reminds me. Also no swinging on the chandeliers.

Stephanie: Well Dick ruined all our fun before we even got here didn’t he. Rude.

Dick: I’m a good example.

Bruce: You are a very not good example. Let’s go.

Alfred: Ah, they grow up so fast. *hands Damian more soap as he walks past*

Duke: I’m scared of all of you and also confused how so many of you made it to adulthood.

Bruce: I can’t figure it out either. The closest I can figure is sheer dumb luck and Alfred.

#dick grayson #batfam #batman #nightwing #stephanie brown #batfamily headcanons #duke thomas #red hood #damian wayne #red robin #Robin #spoiler #Bruce Wayne #Jason Todd

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bloopy-writes · 1 month

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Just imagine everyone showing up to Damian’s elementary school graduation as he’s seething because he specifically didn’t tell them to avoid the embarrassment

(The embarrassment being Steph shouting “I know you’re better than these other kids” every five minutes, Dick crying, and Tim and Jason bringing really big signs of Damian’s face and waving them around. Duke is recording Damian’s face for blackmail purposes and Cass is recording Bruce’s face as he tries not to cry. Alfred is the only one that was actually invited.)

#batman #bloopy’s headcanons #batfam #damian wayne #dc comics #batbros #tim drake #dick grayson #jason todd #duke thomas #cassandra cain #stephanie brown #bruce wayne #alfred pennyworth

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