#I've been wanting to leave all year

[the-dance-of-italy]

.

#I've been wanting to leave all year #but i can't because im broke and i can't get a job #i feel like im not allowed to leave her just because she's my mother and shes given me so much #yes she's done so much for me #and i AM thankful #but i didn't ask to be fucking born #she definitely didn't want to become a mother #why am i forced to stay and just keep going in a vicious cycle that's eating both of us #man i don't know what to do or where to even go #i could go to the capital or figure out how to take the big leap and go to Canada #but i can't be here tomorrow #i have to go

[lunarharp]

What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)

#witch hat tag #orufrey #er.... i'm too tired to have anything to say..i worked several days on this. #wait.. didn't i say just recently here that i probably wouldn't ever depict 'what if alaira is qifrey's sort-of ex'. What's going on #i don't even remember deciding to draw this..it's all a blur..i'm not sure why i WOULD decide to draw delicate scenes in my head #that i wouldn't really want to share with anyone/discuss so why did i draw it... #some part of me really really wants to draw things that are more and more true to myself... #maybe because of my alienation with most romance/shipping/dynamics the rest of the world depicts. #orufrey really is perfectly suited to me - what i read in the text and what is in my head. well anyway #i am TIRED of drawing poses and angles and..maybe now i will actually take a break from drawing bc of the tediousness of Angles #btw it really is a 'stretch of time' . . . assuming witches graduate age 18-20 #well orufrey are canonically 30-ish. they've only had agott around for presumably about TWO years (?) bc she took the test age 10 #and it feels like oru moving in/unknown atelier acquisition/building (?) .. i guess that could be a year or so before agott at most #(she was the first disciple) so... ????????? What about the other 7 or so years ?!?!?!!?!?! Unemployed Brimhat Hatred era #that time is very nebulous. after qifrey went to the tower i feel like it's been implied he and oru drifted apart a little. #certainly they didn't live together at first... no way. that doesn't feel like how it is based on things oru has said about becoming Eye #idk. I'm tired now. i don't usually think of alaira as necessarily qifrey's ex and this being how things went in that 'sliver of time'. #i usually prefer the idea that they have their first kiss with each other in their 30s cause That's Just The Orufrey Lifestyle #just felt like making a more relatable alternative view of my own Cai Orufrey Canon one time. btw im a big monoshipper and it hurt a bit #let's leave it there. this is surely the most i've worked on a 'single' art - though now i realise just how much longer the fic took :')

[heyitsmemel]

hi hello gals and gays. Here is a rare wav from me struggling with the flu. The virus has mainly been in my chest but my entire body is so wrecked I was able to induce super easily. No talking bc I’m literally unable to 😭 Do not listen if you can't stand harsh coughing because it gets a bit rough. If it sounds a bit weird the first half of the recording is from yesterday and the second half is from today, bc the coughing is so much worse in the second half lmao. Ok that's it thankkk you for feeding me so good lately tumblr love u all <3

also personal rant about ableism and intentional contagion in the comments :///

#ok like I haven't been this sick in literal years and cuz im disabled i'm super mindful of spreading germs to others. #and i've had some family staying with me so I was like great leave me here to rot in my cave guys #my partner has been rlly attentive and is like i don't care about germs tehe so yesterday he comes into my room #and gives me a bunch of kisses on my head then swoops in and kisses me ON THE MOUTH #like im sorry i've been lying in a pool of feverish sweat for days and can hardly breathe what part of that makes someone go ooo gimme? #like ya hes just trying to love me but i put so much effort into being clean and now i will feel really guilty when he gets sick #sorry not sorry intentional contagion is not cute or sexy at all its just irresponsible #like i would love to live the life where my body works so well that I don't give a second thought to KISSING someone with the flu #i just feel like able bodied people never think about what its like living with a disability or a chronic illness #or have the slightest inclination of how privileged they are #my partner isn't even a fetishit he is just a dumbass #but ya i just wish he and the general population would think more :/ #snzblr #snz #illness kink #snzfucker #snz wav #snzzzzz #snz blog #anyway thats all do what u want with my horn post

[moonsidesong]

ibis paint adding and removing AI slop in the span of less than a full day is so wild. Also scary?!?! Bullying corporations out of this stuff really does have to be the norm nowadays, huh...

#bri talks #i've been using ibis since 2015. that's almost a decade now! #i didn't want to leave it #i mean . i personally wouldn't have been giving them more money #i have the ad free version i bought it years ago #all ibis has from me is seven smackaroos i gave them in like #2017? 2018 maybe? #but it's just the principle of it i guess #well. now at least i guess i can hold off on that #ibis isn't the fanciest program but it's cozy! i like it

[every-sanji]

#one piece #sanji #black leg sanji #everysanji #thriller bark #ch462 #theres been someone whose been slowly reblogging some of my like. really old posts #and doing some absolutely fantastic character analysis in the tags #but oh my god you're reminding me of the cringe captions i used to leave on every post #i did that FOR LIKE. IM PRETTY SURE OVER A YEAR. #IF IT WASNT SO LONG I'D GO BACK AND EDIT ALL OF THEM BUT EUGH #all but one i think the birthday post was funny okay that one was funny and i had to consolidate so much to get it to post on the right day #god. i cant believe this will probably post after the blog anniversary #4 years of every sanji. how do we feel guys #as of queuing this i have uh. 2302 followers and i'll probably have a few more by the time you actually see this #absolutely insane that people still follow this silly gimmick blog i've been running since i was 19 #ik i have said it before but this little project got so big and i dont even particularly care for op anymore #i just keep this blog running for the bit of finding every sanji and watching people be amazed at the really really small ones #that i manage to find in the background. its a special skill you gain by running a blog like this #anyway no more tag rambles i want to try and finish this volume tonight if i can

[spaceratprodigy]

✏ WIP Whenever ✏

Thank you for the tags @captastra @darkfire1177 @the-lastcall @hibernationsuit 💖💕

Haven't been working on too much personal art lately so not many new things to share

Have a lil sneaky peeky at these tiny sketches for the next few faith and max smoochy prompts in my ask box tho :]

open tag to anyone who wants to jump in!

#next week is gonna be great for faith and max enjoyers it looks like #just wanted to get a couple of these sketched out before I leave for the weekend #since they've been really nice (and much needed) stress relievers #I promise I haven't forgotten abt the other prompts in my ask box!! #I just have bigger ideas planned out for those and haven't had the time to work on them!! #but believe me I have been SO excited for when I can get back to them #they're literally all I think abt in terms of what I want to draw next!! #those and p&p au AND western au okay!! I have all the ideas planned out in my head but no time yet!! #2024 is gonna start off with some banger art fr fr #ily friends thank you for tagging me sorry I've been super slow getting around to everything #my mind has been all over the place and it's just that time of year ya'know #much love to y'all always <3 #my art #faith and max

[fleshdyke]

#csa warning for tags #ughhh ik i was just talking abt this but man. Man. constantly bullied as a child + raped as a child is a brutal combo huh #completely irreversibly fucked up sense of intimacy. i dont want to have sex with anyone i dont care what ppl think of me looks wise but i #also care more than anything and want people to want me so bad #like when ur only experience with anyone at all finding you desirable is being raped at 6ish. fucks u up man #was constantly told by everyone i knew that i was undesirable from day fucking one. i was always the one ppl would dare their friends to #'ask out' bc everyone thought i was that bad. i never had those rumours of 'some boy likes you' without people laughing in the background #all of my friends. even the ones that were also weird kids and bullied etc etc always have stories of other kids having crushes on them or #whatever. and i just never had that. it feels like i missed out on something important #i want to be pursued by a guy i hate i want them to not leave me alone. i want to feel like im in danger. and i know how fucking disgusting #that is but i cant help it. like i feel like thats the only way im going to feel normal and wanted like theres not something inherently #wrong with me. and i know how dangerous that is but its not like it matters anyways bc still no one likes me at all. #and i know how stupid of a thing it is to obsess over like what am i 9 years old? but i just cant get it out of my head #like idk i feel like the only way im going to actually feel desirable at all is if someone tries to rape me again. or if i feel like i have #to worry about someone raping me again. i know i wouldnt feel that way if someone was like. nice about it. #bc if someone genuinely liked me and was a decent human being about it i wouldnt be able to see it as anything other than faking it for pit #i wouldnt be able to believe it. even if i wasnt waiting for them to drop the joke and start laughing at me i would always think it was jus #an act bc they feel bad for me. the only way i could ever think it's genuine and that i'm desirable at all is if someone sexually #harassed me. like idk how to explain it but thats the only way i could feel desirable at all #bc it's the only way i've ever been desirable. when i was a kid. #and it terrifies me so bad bc i know how fucking disgusting that is and how self destructive it is #but i still feel like i dont even have to really worry about being assaulted. bc i still believe im completely undesirable at my core. #i dont believe i could be desired so i dont believe i have to worry about being raped. bc no one would want to anyways #rambles #vent

[orokay]

So idk if I can really articulate the way I'm feeling rn to translate it perfectly, but I want you guys to know how much I truly appreciate everyone who's followed me over the years, who has interacted with me in any way no matter how small, and anyone who has shown up recently. From the bottom of my heart, thank you. It's probably cheesy to say but everyone here has made my life so much brighter and I feel so unbelievably blessed to have been invited into your lives in some way, even if it's just as someone who sometimes shows up on your dash.

I decided to scroll through my tag on here and the way people have supported me over the years though everything really, deeply touched my heart this evening. The people who have drawn fanart for me, the people who have commissioned me, the people who have tagged me in things (I cringe every time bc I feel soooo bad for not seeing them until I look in my tag once in a blue moon, but know I appreciate you trying to include me), the people who tag me when asked who their art inspirations or favorite blogs are (!!!!!!!!!??????), the people who post their art saying that my art inspired them in some way, people who express their excitement when they realize I've followed them (this will never stop being wild to me, what an incredible thing!!!! I'm just me!) everyone. It's absolutely mind boggling to me and I can't stress enough how much it means.

I've had such an incredible time on this site so far and met some of my closest friends here and just.. wow. Thank you so much to all of you, from the very bottom of my heart. I cannot thank you enough for all of your support!! Every little bit of interaction is a blessing to me and I've run out of ways to express that so I'll wrap this up here but yeah!! I hope you all have a lovely evening or whatever time of day it is in your time zone. Know that you've impacted me in a way I can't express and try to give yourselves a little grace, you'll never know how much you've improved the lives of the people around you by just spending a little time in their space ♥

#i wanted to tag a bunch of my friends bc i saw a lot of people i don't interact with much anymore bc of my reclusiveness in recent years #but i was terrified of accidentally leaving people out so if you're wondering if i'm thinking about you then you're exactly who i mean #love love love love love I'm so incredibly fortunate and i can't forget that!!!! #the fact that i've been on here since 2014 and have only received one mean ask that i can think of is insane #i know i've been a bit of a downer lately but overall my hope is that i've created a positive space where people can be happy and feel safe #in some way in any way #and i hope i feel like someone people can talk to (or at.. i know im bad at replying but i do like to read sjkdlfsd) #i've been told that i may come off as intimidating but i truly don't want to be i want people to feel comfortable interacting ^^ #ANYWAY gotta go to bed this is embarrassing thanks for listening byeee #dl #not art #i forgot to mention this but also people who use my art for their pfps???????? SPEECHLESS #all of the art in the world and you chose mine it makes my heart so full #also just realized i completely forgot to respond to emails today #if you see this and you're waiting on one I'll reply tomorrow but know I've gotten it!

[starbuck]

“Martha... How do you stop- How do you stop it?” “You don’t.”

Martha from Ravenous (1999) ~ requested by anonymous

#ravenous 1999 #REQUESTED OVER A YEAR AGO I SHOULD ADD #i am SO very sorry that this took so long #i wasn't in a ravenous mood when you sent the request and then various Unforeseen Life Circumstances got in my way #and then i procrastinated on getting the blu ray for a bit #but - if it's any consolation - this is a MUCH higher-quality set than you would have gotten if i had made it right away #i'm remaking all my old sets with the blu ray footage - i'm OBSESSED #and it's soooooooooo much easier to work with than the black sa.ils blu rays thank GOODNESS #so lots and lots more goodies to come! #but i wanted to start with this one because i've been meaning to do it for SO long and life just kept getting in the way #i love Martha SO much - i def would have done a set for her eventually request or not #truly i am keeping it together until Cleaves' coat and the purple stole... then i just lose it #like. she loses everyone she loves to imperialist violence and then is forced to leave her home for her own survival #it's so awful #i'm so glad she survives - but it's still absolutely a tragedy (both for her and in general) #kudos to Antonia for insisting on the inclusion of the final shot of her walking out though... it's such a powerful image #in a tragic sense of her being forced off her land with literally only the clothes on her back #and in a hopeful sense that she DOES escape and live on... she isn't devoured by the system #it's just A Lot #i'm have a few more Martha sets planned that i'm really excited about as well! #one of her and Cleaves (in which i will shamelessly reuse a few of these gifs) #and one of... well... You Will See! :)))))))))))))))))))) #stay tuned!!

[kirby-the-gorb]

#kirby #daily kirby #my art #digital #hal laboratory #nintendo #I started packing for the next move yesterday #I'm not leaving for another 2 months (and my wife will stay behind for an extra month) #but this way I can just do one or two boxes a day and still get all my stuff packed so she doesn't have to worry about it #I'm so tired of moving. #there will be at least 1 move shortly after this #then we might have to move again next year or we might stay put for a while depending how she wants to prioritize things #but eventually. someday. we will have a permanent home. #the longest I've ever lived in the same unit as an adult has been 3 years. #and I'm almost 30. #I'm so very tired of moving. #but at least for this move I get to leave ahead of time #and for the next one our other partner will already permanently be there and my wife will have way more flexible time. #after that I have no idea.

[definitelynotnia]

im sorry i have to rant im so fucking pissed

my exams end on 19th and I have to get rid of some books and buy some books which are quite pricy online so I had planned on going to college street on 20th and selling my books and buying the new ones at a cheap price and i was frankly really excited about it because all I get is a one day break to relax bcz i have to start studying for entrances from 21st so all I have is 20th and i wanted to spend it at college street and then get some food and basically have like a solo date kind of thing.

and i was so so excited about it i told my boyfriend about it like 500 times bcz i kept forgetting i've already mentioned it and it was literally on my mind a lott so i kept bringing it up and ik it seems like not a big deal cz i can just sit at home and chill too but i literally do not get to go outside my house. like- the last time i went out was new years eve and after that the only time i've gone out is to school or to give my boards that is it. my mother has some weird like problem wiht me going out like even if i tell her that i just want to go to our terrace for 5 minutes just to get some fresh air she won't even allow that she'll be all suspicious and like sTaNd In ThE bAlCOnY aNd TaKe FrEsH aIr like she herself doesnt leave the house (and blames it on me and my brother ???? when have we ever stopped you bro, she said I HaVe To Be HeRe To KeEp An EyE like im 18 i dont need to be watched 24/7 stop blaming me for choices you put upon yourself) and i just feel so suffocated ALL THE TIME i feel so overstimulated and im so sick of rotting on my bed and i dont want to wait for some birthday party or friends meet up to be able to leave my goddamn house i just wanted to go and have a fun day and get me some books thats it.

anyway so initially the plan was that my mom would go along but something came up so she wanted to postpone it to 21st and i didn't want to bcz i'd already be missing 3 days bcz of my boyfriends birthday, holi and my brothers birthday (all of which are important and i dont want to miss which makes me the villain apparently bcz i should "adjust" and cancel my "parties" instead of trying to stick to my plan bcz that makes me too demanding and selfish apparently) so i suggested that ukw why dont u go do ur thing which came up and i'll go to college street by myself...which is when the solo date idea came which i had really wanted all along but didnt bring up bcz i knew she'd say no but now there's a valid reason for me to go alone so like, its a pretty easy fix i can just go alone but noooo. First of all,

I've been to college street multiple times before so its not like its an unknown area to me

im going by metro which is quite safe

im going when there is stark daylight and i will return home much much before it gets dark and im literally 18

she never lets me go anywhere alone, not even take ubers alone if i want to get back from somewhere my bf has to come drop me everytime and then go backwards to his house which is so so so stupid and i never get to go out alone unless accompanied by family or by a male friend, so obv when i said i'll go to college street alone she refused to let that happen and started screaming about how 'if its so important to go on 20th bcz u dont want to miss a day of studying then cancel ur 'parties' and study then' and i was like no its not about missing a day its just that there's a very easy and logical fix to this problem which is i go alone and its not inconveniencing anyone so why cant i just do that but she will not listen to that bcz im 'adamant' and 'everything has to be according to me' bcz i found a viable solution to the problem. so instead of letting me just go she was literally ready to pay much more money and buy the books online, like.....why cant i just go bro??? (and she keeps telling me im a waste of her money bcz i will amount to nothing in life and my education was a failed investment or wtv so like now why are u wasting more money??? im literally trying to save the money that u 'waste' on me so just let me ???)

anyway i called my dad last night and told him and he was super ok with the idea he said its a good idea that i go alone and that he would speak to her but then today when i asked her if dad spoke to her she said yes, we'll go on 20th and i was like .....we? so apparently she CANCELLED her previously immovable thing for which she wanted me to cancel my 'parties', she cancelled that and agreed to go with me on 20th just so that i dont get to go alone- like ???????????????? what is ur problemmmm

so obv i was super annoyed and i went on a whole ass rant about how i literally struggle to even cross roads bcz i dont know shit about basic travelling bcz all my life ive been in a car and its a running joke with all my guy friends that i 'cannot navigate' and 'dont know any places' and obv??? if im never allowed to go anywhere then how tf will i know the places- the only places i know is bcz recently i've been paying a lot of attention and asking my dad stuff about what roads to take to reach certain places and when i go out with my friends i kind of try and learn a bit but thats it i've only ever gone alone completely alone to two places which is my beauty parlour thats 5 minutes away from my house and one bazaar one time that was 2 bus stops away, thats it. thats my extent of public travelling alone. and now im supposed to go to a whole new STATE for college and i cant even call myself an auto without struggling. and like- is this not a basic life skill??? like ok yeah its not rocket science and i will probably figure it out even if i start later in life but why not now? most of my guy friends literally go everywhere alone, why not me? and my dad agreed with all of this but my mom was just like "you'll be in the hostel only, no need to go out of the campus" like ARE YOU FOR REAL????????? and she's like "if u want to learn skills learn how to cook" like ok yes i will also learn how to cook for sure but i wont have a fucking kitchen in the hostel but somehow cooking is an urgent skill i should learn but going places by myself is unimportant bcz i should just never? leave? the? hostel?

anyway after much screaming and shouting my dad gave up and just cut the call bcz he doesnt want to get into an argument with my mother and my mother was being all suspicious like why do u hAvE tO gO aLoNe AlL oF a SuDdEn even though i literally explained why i want to do this alone but she doesnt think thats valid. so she refuses to let me go and i asked her for one reason why i shouldnt cz usuallt its always "no u have exam what if smthn happens" but now i literally dont even have exam so whats ur excuse now? streets will always be unsafe forever so "what if smthn happens" is not a reason to never let me go out without a man so just gimme one reason and she couldnt give me a single reason she just said "i said no, thats it".

and now she's gone off about how im useless and blah blah and "high maintainance" bcz i want books and "everyone else (some pishi's son) just studies online" and so the whole option of college street is apparently now cancelled and she's trying to set up a whole ass kindle account (half the books i need arent even available as ebooks) just because i wanted to go by myself.

#in our house kids dont stay outside past 6:30pm'' but now all of a sudden its fine for my brother to play #till 10:30 at night #she literally stopped me permanently from going down in the evenings since i was in class 7-8 #this is why ive never had any friends outside of school bcz she wouldnt let me leave ths fucking house #and now that my brother is in class 7 #he's allowed to be out playing with his friends till 10 freaking 30 #he comes home an hour late sometimes...45 minutes and almost always at least 30 minutes late at NIGHT and she says nothing except like #one sentence #yeah im only the villain i only keep u locke #up in the house its all my fault #this is just so damn unfair #like literally insulting #im not a child what is her problem #what sort of fucking solution is 'never leave the hostel' like ok even if i do that what happens then??? after i graduate? #i'll be a 24 year old who doesnt know shit about going from one place to another without a man present] #and then this woman preaches how she 'always raises her son and daughter equally' like srsly shut the fuck up #my whole life i've been told abar late?'' #and for me bcz i would come home 5-10 minutes late nd i did it maybe once or twice she made me completely stop going down to play #5-10 minutes late from 6:30 wherein he comes an hour late from 9 fucking 30 #and this sounds so stupid bcz im an 18 year old now and i dont give a fuck abt how long i got to play but its just unfair dude #with me it was always smthn or the other either exams or she gets miraculously sick every time i want to go out to play #im not even kidding she did a whole “i have fever and ur going to leave me like this and go play?” on me one time bcz i was adamant abt goi #after months of not being able to go bcz of exam or smthn or the other #she did not have any fever it was fucking bullshit #and how am i supposed to help with ur imaginary fever anyway im literally 12 #its so fucking annoying man and then if i say anything at all she'll go on a tirade about how #like YOU DO THOUGH??????? im sorry ur feelings are hurt bcz i said you do smthn that u LITERALLY DO #istg not even 2 days ago she was having a fight with my dad abt how he should teach my brother to learn how to cycle so that he can go buy #groceries #i can cycle

[hxhhasmysoul]

wouldn't it be nice if the author of the fics finished them. the author is me.

#vent #for the last 4 months my life has been in stupid crisis mode #like constantly #from major ones where i had to move out for a while because it was impossible to stay where i lived #to not being able to use my kitchen for over a week #and like other more or less minor house related stuff that made it impossible for me to use something normally #not a single week without something like that or shit at work which is constantly being so fucking chaotic #and now someone died in my family #not someone very close but i liked them #and of course like feeling sad that they are gone can't be the only thing #because it has to come with the headache of i need to travel for their funeral and it's just before easter #so there's no one in this city to leave my dog with #because most of my friends either live abroad or have cats or are busy before easter.. #i'd just want a week where nothing happens #and like the writing is weighing heavy on me #because i miss it #also i wish i could finish something #i wish something good would happen that i could feel proud off #also because i'm mentally ill and fucking stupid when i was going crazy with my kitchen not working and work shit #i bought new furniture #because after 15 years i've finally had enough money to buy some that aren't fucking black and inconvenient and ugly #which is like a huge project and a crisis i brought onto myself #just because i was too burnt out to write #and i wanted something nice to happen to me #like a nice living space that doesn't make feel like i have no ownership over it because everything in it was some else's choice #and that old furniture was bought by my mother and my brother ages ago and it's handmedowns #and my fucking horrible mother feels personally slighted that i want to get rid of a bed that is broken #because my brother's kids jumped on it regularly when they used to visit pre covid #yeah it's been broken that long because i lost all my savings during covid and had to change careers to a souless pointless corpo job #long pathetic whine and overshare over

[spiltlove]

a bad thing lives here. is it you or me?

#mine #uploads #my writing #first thing i've written all year boiiiiiiiis #i really want to get into the habit of writing more #and not putting pressure on myself of whether its 'good' or 'bad' #at the end of the day i write for myself #sometimes its the only way to get things out of my head #but i still enjoy sharing my work w others #i've been thinking abt possibly trying to write enough this year to release a small poetry book #but whooooo knows #i wanna leave something for the world for when im gone #even if no one reads it #writers on tumblr #writers of instagram #writers of tumblr #writing #writebrl #poets of tumblr #poetry #i never know how to tag anything

[the-casbah-way]

not to beat a dead horse but jesus christ can you just leave people alone in public bathrooms i just want to fucking piss girl i'm so tired of feeling anxious and trying to avoid using public bathrooms because of how fucking weird cis people are about it. i tried to go into the bathroom at work today (i have worked here for years) and this woman who has worked here for two weeks and doesn't know me laughed and tried to like. steer me in the direction of the men's toilet instead and was like "wrong way!" are you fucking kidding me fuck off

#i have worked in this building for years. i know where the fucking bathroom is #like i'm sorry but cis people just don't want me in any bathroom at this point. i can't fucking win #i'm not kidding you i didn't really think that people in real life would actually make a fuss over who is in the bathroom #but at uni specifically i have had A LOT of people in the womens bathroom awkwardly tell me “uh i think you're in the wrong bathroom haha” #they're not even doing it in an antagonistic way it's like they genuinely think i've walked into the wrong one #and it makes ME feel like a creep or like i've done something wrong #like you guys are the ones that insist i should be in this bathroom !!!! but then i go in there and get told i'm in the wrong one !!!! #it's one of the few things that never fails to make me feel anxious and sad because it's a fucking bathroom it shouldn't be a big deal #why am i being made to feel like i've done something wrong when i'm just trying to exist here like everyone else #and you know what. it doesn't matter how i identify right. because i've actually done nothing to intentionally masculanise my appearance #like the entire time i've been out. i had short hair before i came out and i dressed this way before i came out #i have not done anything to try and Look Like A Man or Look Cis. i just have masc bone structure NATURALLY #so for all you know i could just be a woman with short hair ????? and you're telling me i don't belong in here because of that ?? #like sure i'm NOT a woman with short hair but my point is you literally cannot tell the difference #so just leave people alone

[pjowasmy1stfandom]

Okay, there's this one au that has been clinging to my brain for years at this point that just keeps getting bigger.

Long story short, the au is a giant crossover thing where Leo Valdez (but not canon Leo, my very specific au Leo where Gaia won, so he makes a deal with a kinda morally gray deity/creator person, goes back in time and generally tries to save his world while being unable to tell anyone about the future bc of course it can't be easy) gets thrown into literally every fandom world that I get obsessed with and just generally accumulates practically every type of trauma possible while changing everything I don't like about the different canons. I only came up with some sort of ending like, less than a year ago.

I love this au in all its trope-ness and cliches and probably incomprehensible rambling, so I'm going to start posting random stuff about it and you guys can either piece everything together, ask me for more info if you're actually interested in it, or just ignore it.

I kinda already started writing some of it down (Leo's original story, where he makes the deal/goes back in time) but my brain refuses to stay in that world, so I'm going to start posting randomness for this as well.

It needs a name so I can tag stuff... I think I'll make a poll

#my thoughts #leo valdez #i'm not gonna tag all the characters i have involved in this bc that'd be pretty much every character i've ever been obsessed with... #yeah that's a lot #look i just want to start posting memes about this #i won't stop reblogging random stuff from my dash/mutuals #i just want to get this out of my brain bc it's been around for like five years and it won't leave

[arsonist-chicken]

hopefully my last flatmate rant but hello this is not a drill, I got a spot in a student dormitory!! I'll know tomorrow when exactly I can move in but it will probably be very soon, and as soon as I know, I'm letting my landlord know I'm leaving and why exactly and be petty as hell on my way out and enjoy my new freedom 🥳🥳🥳

#it's a dorm by the airport so let's see if the windows there rattle like the ones in my old dorm did lol #it's a single bedroom with a shared bathroom and floor-wide shared kitchens which is not the room I was hoping for but #it's cheaper than my room now and maybe I can move to one with a kitchenette in march and until then it's fine #i've spent five years in a dormitory with shared kitchens; it's fine #let's see if 'the stench' miraculously disappears when I tell those [redacted] I'm leaving and they'll coincidentally have someone #they want to move in here. i kinda hope so just because it would mean less effort to find a new tenant for me #and my friend suggested letters to the neighbors saying goodbye and telling them who's been putting wine bottles in the plastic trash #and slamming doors at 2am #which i probably will. yeah. those two have made my life really unpleasant in just six weeks to the point I'm moving out #of an apartment I really like that's conveniently located and has a balcony. I'm gonna be petty when I leave. #mine #anywayyyyyyyyyyyyy you're all invited to my new dorm room to celebrate my new freedom #bring your own bed or sleeping bag as I am now back to a single instead of double bed; also maybe all just sit on the floor #we can stack up on the bed like pancakes I guess #hehehehe off I go hopefully very very soon to people who don't mock me daily and make me want to not go home #I technically really don't have time to move right now but oh well I'll make time #jess' flatmate rants #there'll be another one I'm sure but I can deal with anything now knowing I get to leave soon