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#bc if someone genuinely liked me and was a decent human being about it i wouldnt be able to see it as anything other than faking it for pit

eldritch-spouse · 7 months

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it’s me again! I was looking at asks abt cero having children and I had a kinda cute (but kinda sad) scenario, PQ and ceros daughter, a splitting image of her father. She’s surprisingly fully white and (mostly) symmetrical, literally a beauty standard to most pride subjects when she matured, only for her to be rlly insecure and wishing to look like the PQ more bc she likes her mother more. And ofc I’d have art of her!

First off, she's gorgeous, very very cute, I love her design! <3<3<3 ✨️💫

You're probably very happy that she looks a lot more like her dad, because being the narcissist that Cero is, he's bound to love someone who looks a lot like him. And Cero does love her, to pieces. She's his daughter, he only sees perfection in her- Especially if she was the type to be moderately (or perfectly) well-behaved as a kid.

He constantly yaps about her future as the Queen of Pride and how she needs to rule with an iron fist because it's a vicious world out there and a sweet-looking thing like her will get torn between the jaws of vicious competition in the blink of a tired eye.

Cero might assume her insecurity comes from a place of fear, intimidation about her destiny, the roles she will have to play. But to hear that it's actually a part of her appearance -Whether from the princess or from your mouth- Genuinely gives him pause.

Because he can't, even in his already exceedingly judgemental nature, see a single flaw in her. She has symmetrical assets, her skin is like perfect powder, she has a womanly figure, a decently long and thick tail, beautiful eyes and defined facial features, luscious hair, her wardrobe is tailored by the best designers in Hell and the surface! The media speaks of her like a goddess, what in the Seven Rings does she have to be insecure about?!

He can't grasp why his own daughter would want to be more human.

Let it be known that the princess dislikes her own father and Cero will be crushed from the inside out. The sound of his heart breaking into a million shards is almost audible as he becomes aware of the sentiments behind the insecurity his own daughter shows. And, to protect himself, he acquires a freezing new mask.

He will never recover.

Whether or not she's right to dislike him depends on the finer details of their relationship, but Cero will privately bawl his eyes out all the same.

#Cero oc #squidlyconversation

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surveillance-0011 · 1 year

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Looking at Garten of BanBan II… I actually feel kind of optimistic.

This second game feels like it does have more effort put into it- and it’s more genuine, less of a cash grab especially without the merch link right there. I’m not gonna blame the devs for charging money bc it seems they are very low budget, and I’d prefer a game costing money rather than asking you to buy overpriced merch.

There’s a somewhat scarier atmosphere and I think the direction the story is heading could prove to be interesting.

Spoiler alert:

Saw the human experimentation thing coming from a mile away. Not the most original in the mascot-based horror niche, but I’m a sucker for it and am actually kinda interested in seeing why it’s happening in this facility posing as a kindergarten, of all places. Also, BanBan as a possible good guy is very interesting. Yes, Alice and Mommy Long Legs both send you on fetch quests with ulterior motives, but BanBan seems to genuinely care about saving the kids, even if it means he’s not heroic enough to do it himself.

It’s also interesting that he’s apparently not the “major” threat- that’s Stinger Flynn, apparently. Unless BanBan is lying/tricking the MC, which is like a 50/50 chance.

The game also, surprisingly, has a sense of humor. BanBan’s note telling you he’s gonna knock you out, his sheepish apology, NabNab’s misery, and Seline (the snail) reaching the chase scene too late all actually got a chuckle out of me.

However, it’s not exactly the most riveting gameplay. The game still seems kinda slow, glitchy, and like there isn’t as much of an “active” threat. Everything is very … compartmentalized? Until the last chase scene there doesn’t seem to be an active threat chasing you down.

And the story does have some pitfalls and confusing bits. It’s frustrating to me that they are dropping gradual hints in the notes alone- at this point I wish there was more of a why and maybe even more of an admission. BanBan sees himself as human still, yes, but certainly he’s aware everyone else thinks he’s BanBan? And that he’s in a lab? But he never says “yeah they mighta turned me into something I’m not, but deep down I’m human and you can trust me”

And while I like the idea of Stinger Flynn as a major threat I’m surprised NabNab isn’t more of an opposing force. Like they’re literally an obstacle for like the construction section and they peer out as a lil secret when you finish the chase scene and turn back. For someone teased as a big thing, they seem more like a needless red herring and underwhelming extra. It’d be better if they were more present in this chapter.

The … attempt at social commentary in the classroom segment was also just weird? There’s not really a popular kid weird kid bullying hierarchy in kindergarten of all places… and the metaphor is just very bland and fake deep and whatnot. Unless it’s just BanBaleena running the school like she thinks they’re run bc she’s a human experiment with no memory/knowledge of the outside world. Or some sort of commentary on the game community? Eh, it was just weirdly cynical and I didn’t dig it.

And it’s weird that they’re already advertising game 3. It’s a chapter system and it’s bound to happen, but it makes me think they’re rushing it a little.

So it’s not perfect by any means. There’s a couple of glaring issues of disorganization and rougher edges, hell some of the worries concerning it being too “kiddy” still ring true. But it also seems to confirm the game is growing into its own unique self and is a genuine attempt at making a decent game rather than something thrown together to make some money off of children. There’s some heart. It may be small or weak, but it’s there.

I never thought I’d be rooting for the Euphoric Brothers, but I do actually hope they improve from here and actually make something some people can dig. They’re not really some insidious force like people make them out to be, just two people trying in a… pretty flawed way? They gotta work on a lot of stuff, from the game to how they have taken criticism, but they’re not goddawful, the first game was just the worst first impression ever.

And…If anything BanBan’s popularity is inspiring. It’s a good reminder that anyone can make a game- and possibly succeed in getting what they wish.

Tldr: not winning any awards any time soon, but Garten of BanBan is not a total waste. I hope the Devs listen to the criticism they’ve gotten and improve from here, too.

And I. Do like NabNab and Stinger Flynn. And BanBan. I am not immune to silly blob thing.

#garten of banban #garten of BanBan II #only watched play throughs bc I don’t have money or a good computer #but like. yeah #.txt #mascot horror #I have a soft spot for these sorts of things #esp as an artist with a shitty budget and concerns abt the quality of what I make

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tiffanylamps · 2 years

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So, episode 1 jwds is on my mind again and I'm here to prove that this episode has all the ingredients to be a... quirky... rom-com... please bear with me and trust the vision (and don't take this too seriously, cause i'm not taking it seriously either)

(get a drink and strap in.... I'm going to mock them)

ahh yes, it's Romeo and Juliet but instead of a fish tank, it's a partitioning wall in a police station, and instead of a masquerade ball, it's a weaponized meet cute

we have the boys making comments about the new inspector. The editing in this scene makes a big point to show that DS is suuuuuper not interested in the conversation, oooohh noo, he doesn't care about the new inspector. Why would he? He's just some guy. He's not even listening to the conversation about how the new inspector is super smart, really physically fit, comes from a top university, graduated top of his year, and is very handsome.... who is also the son of the man connected to his sister's disappearance? oh. But Dong Sik doesn't care, you guys. He's not listening to the conversation!! Right, Dong Sik???

Dong Sik??

Oh, so you were listening... and you are interested.

Hm.

also...

(it's the same scene.... js. timestamp: 2.10)

and how can we forget that Han Joo Won ISN'T HIS TYPE (he is) HOW ARE ANYONE SUGGEST SUCH A THING! (no one did) HOW DARE THEY BRING IT UP (he brought it up)

you know... when i introduce myself to someone, i also like to be standing so close that my hand is basically touching their stomach

tut tut... look at him being so into Joo Won's bratty behaviour. so, jw was kinda rude to him (he's kinda into it) but it's okay bc he's got the energy of a guy who knows he can [redacted] the bad attitude out of someone.

Now, our police boys have to reassign partners and sort out hierarchies. Dong Sik doesn't care, you guys, he doesn't care! Super not interested! Barely paying attention to the convo....

until Gwang Young volunteers to be Joo Won's partner and... Dong Sik sighs and looks down??? He sure seems to have an opinion for a guy who's pretending not to care...

our boys get paired up because... of course, they got paired up. it's for the plot and because NSB is a matchmaker. (It's Arthur and Merlin all over again....)

jfc! just bat your lashes and twirl your hair, it'll be less obvious

it only took you an afternoon to get your hands on the new inspector?? nice going! genuinely impressed that you found a decent bullshit excuse to feel him up

of course, Dong Sik (who doooesn't have a thing for younger bratty men) would find Joo Won's ridiculous display of "i'm a loner, no one talk to me. I'll hiss if you try and befriend me, i'm too important for genuine human connection" act to be off-putting, right?? right?? cause it's a red flag.

ffs, why is he smirking???

okay, now, he's really getting into the swing of teasing Joo Won for his contrarian shit, isn't he?? Dong Sik's flirting in episode 1 is basically "you think you're hot? well, your face might be but your personality sucks.... (but that's why i'm interested)"

then he's just straight up telling Joo Won that he likes him... but Joo Won has to go ruin things by being a little weirdo with a murder mystery plotline

speaking about murder plotlines...

I also like to flirt whilst undergoing official police business... with the guy I think has a connection to the unexplained death of an unidentified body

oh come now, is this really necessary???

Now, i know you're thinking that this poor Ahjussi is simping over the young hot bratty new-in-town inspector. "What a silly guy, he's flirting with the grumpiest guy in town. What a waste of time, jw is never going to return his feelings"... But it's is totally a two-way street from the start.

Everyone, I present to you, Han "I like to check out my suspect" Joo Won:

he likes to bite his lip whilst he looks at one of his stalker pictures of him

he gets turned on when Dong Sik recites the criminal code word-for-word by memory

he's so impressed by Dong Sik's knowledge that he takes the time to check him out as he walks across the road (even checking his mirrors as he drives past just so he can prolong looking at him)

apparently, he doesn't have "a thing" for "nut cases"... he says whilst looking the man up and down... you know? like a liar.

and sureeeee, let's have fun and pretend to believe him for a sec. Okay, he doesn't have "a thing" for an older man who he thinks is a "nut case". Fine... But that doesn't explain why

he makes it a habit of looking at his lips...

and at his stomach?? his hands??? his....??

and his arse....

he also sends a few flirtatious smiles at Dong Sik in front of their colleagues (a hjw version of a flirtatious smile is quite small)

He also sneaks in a few little looks, all before finding an excuse to have one-on-one time with him and to talk about nothing and everything. (I wonder how long Dong Sik had been out of the room before Joo Won decides to follow him. He's sooo.... ugh! this guy. if i were the gang, I would assume they have the hots for one another. the teasing, stealing glances across the dinner table, sneaking off to have private conversations??? what can i say? it seems suss)

and smiling at him... like this... after the guy, he's just accused of being a serial killer laughs at him menacingly. he finds it cute!!! he's a little weirdo who's into the guy he thinks is a sadistic serial killer... (pals, jw needs therapy asap)

So, yeah, from Dong Sik's perspective, episode 1 of Beyond Evil was a typical rom-com until Joo Won had to be a little creep and bring murder into the equation. It certainly brought a damper to their relationship but it didn't stop them from... you know...

becoming good partners...

#beyond evil #jtbc beyond evil #(scheduled)

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tvrningout · 4 months

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trying to get my brain together to write pretty words and sentences, but for now we're talking spicy trivia for chiyo bc she's been shaking the bars of her cage for a few days now :' )

i've said it before and i'll say it again: chiyo is curious and has done a decent amount of research/personal exploration with kinks. she has a general idea of what she'd enjoy, but won't say no to trying most things once; still, there may be some things she's ignorant to and will appreciate detailed explanations, even if she's flustered :' ) communication is key!! no matter how nerve-wracking it might be!!

that being said, chiyo has dabbled with shibari but has never had the opportunity to actually practice it with a partner as she canonically isn't in a relationship for a while after high school. as someone who is big on visuals, chiyo finds the knots and rope rather pretty strewn across the human body, and it's more about that than the idea of being restrained/restraining someone. the control or lack thereof definitely contributes, but chiyo genuinely enjoys the aesthetic of it.

pls know that once chiyo is comfortable being intimate and expressing her desire to be, you won't know a day of peace bc this woman will take every opportunity to tease and rile you up if she's not busy... and sometimes even then, too, asdfg

" why're you looking at me like that?? i only texted you suggestive pictures all day knowing you couldn't make it home until hours later : ) " " what do you mean i brushed up against you on purpose?? i wouldn't do that <3 " " yes i know i locked you out on the balcony and proceeded to tease you but : ( i promise i won't do it again :( "

she's like this and yet :' ) she gets all miffed if you do the same to her :' ) depending on the day, chiyo's either whining about it, stubbornly pretending she doesn't want to be touched, or a flip is being switched and her dominant side pops out, and all three are fun to watch tbh asdfg

that's it for now bc my brain is getting mushy again :' )

#shield your eyes | nsft #sometimes i think i repeat myself with some of these spicy headcanons so hopefully this stuff wasn't like that asdfg #i think i gotta get ready for bed sadly #the day took all my steam and i kept getting pulled away after my dad's birthday dinner and i just feel like a deflated balloon now #i wanna write so bad but i also wanna sleep so much you know ;;#headcanons | chiyoko

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asexual-society · 9 months

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I’m asexual but I still want to have a relationship with this guy I’ve been talking to. I don’t know how to bring up the subject of me being ace or even if i have to? I feel like it’s something he should know bc i’m not keen on sex… i just feel confused and frustrated because i have no idea what to do.. please help

I think it's important to be upfront with people about your expectations in any relationship, just like how if you were looking for something casual, you should be open about that fact in case your prospective partner would prefer something more serious, or vice versa, and so you're on the same page going in. If you don't want to have sex, the fact that you're ace/don't want to have sex (you don't necessarily have to use the label if you don't want to, but it might help if he knows about asexuality already) doesn't necessarily have to be a "first date conversation", but I would say you should tell him you aren't keen on having sex before the stage in the relationship where he might usually be thinking about having sex for the first time; waiting for him to bring it up might not always be the best course of action. If you set a firm boundary on the off chance that he isn't cool about it, then you haven't wasted your time on someone who isn't cool and he doesn't feel like you've wasted his. He might be completely fine with it (in which case ! cool! nice!), or be okay with you being ace but for him personally not having sex is a dealbreaker (which is fine too, for some people who go into relationships, sex is an important part of that), but it's always good to have contingencies.

This all depends on how well you know him, obviously you're not going to get into a relationship with someone you know doesn't respect boundaries, but sometimes these are things we don't know straight away. I view this a bit like telling someone your pronouns, I use they/them (mostly) but I very rarely tell cis people the "mostly" bit because they take that as permission to not bother trying to use they/them at all, but some of my friends who are trans can call me whatever they like because I trust them to be cool about it. The same is true for setting boundaries. Keep them firm at first- if you say "I don't think I really want to have sex right now, but if you really want we could do X", someone who is cool and respects boundaries might be like "Don't worry, we don't have to do any of that if you don't want to", but someone who doesn't will hear "Not right now, but later? And in the meantime we can do X (and maybe Y?)". Only put on the table things you are 100% comfortable and happy to do, then if they push, they're crossing a firm boundary and you can get the hell out, and if they don't and in the future you decide you want to try something else, you can, and you'll know that if you want to take that back off the table that's cool too, but don't let anyone else choose your boundaries for you.

I hope this is helpful and reasonably good advice? Most people genuinely are good and decent human beings, and if you like this guy, he's probably gonna be decent too I hope, so I wish you all the best with your endeavours <3

~ mod key

#this isn't a ''he's probably going to suck because most people do'' fearmongering thing #it's more like. a small minority of people are the reason I have to be overly cautious with the advice I give sometimes #especially when I feel like I'm way underqualified.#asks #asexual #anon #mod key #aaaand lmk if i should tag any triggers on this

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peculiarbeauty · 3 months

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i think about the toxic masculinity that g.aston portrays and how desperate his concocted idea of b.elle overpowers any will he has to be a decent human being to her. he's rude , obnoxious , and possessive. he also refuses to accept anything but the answer yes because he has the most FRAGILE ego.

at the end of the movie when he is fighting with b.east upon the rooftops, he says " did you honestly think she'd want you when she had someone like me ? " as if he , himself is the ultimate man. why should she ever have a choice when it can be made for her by HIM ? right ?

he is so delusional , angry , and everything that a lover WOULDN'T want. but there are expectations that his attractiveness will somehow overpower it. the sad part is , for most of the village it has worked. people know the kind of person he is , but choose to ignore it. they follow his lead and listen to his vile words about how the b.east needs to be killed even with b.elle attempting to get them to know that there is kindness , not malicious intent there.

powerful individuals like g.aston who are in the public eye are so harmful because they are twisting things for their own benefit , but no one is helping expose them because EVERYONE likes g.aston.

poor b.elle was ridiculed as this person who was peculiar , and unwell. and for what ?? bc she READS ??? bc she is a genuine person ?? bc she sees the good in everyone she's ever met ?? kgfjkfgjk

#⊱✿⊰ ┊ ˢʰᵉ ʳᵉᵃˡˡʸ ⁱˢ ᵃ ᶠᵘⁿⁿʸ ᵍⁱʳˡ ( ooc )#[ sorry. talking about THE MAIN VILLAIN AGAIN #the true b.east of our story tbh fkgjfk

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onlyjaeyun · 3 months

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hey my love <3

i don't remember if i sent an ask already today bc i read the chapter first thing after waking up (i did this yesterday too that's why there were 2 asks) so im sorry if you see two again😅

and yass he admitted it !!!! i knew it (and i bet everyone did bc i don't think you wanted to hide it in the prev chap) but i didn't expect him to admit it like that🤭

but his excuses were shit tho🤨 like no one believes you hoonie (or at least i don't)

i feel like even though yn did something bad (according to hoon i mean) that broke their friendship, he still couldn't help the care he has for her bc its rooted deep in his heart (even if he refuses to acknowledge or admit it to himself). and since he IS actually a decent human being who is only mean to yn bc of what she did (again, acc to sunghoon) he went and beat up jaemin. bcuz if you used to be close to someone, no matter how much you hate them there's still at least a tiny part of your heart that still cares abt them bc there's just no way you'll be able to completely not care or stay indifferent if smth bad happens to them if you've ever loved them truly (i mean this for platonic love too, speaking from experience 😌)

this makes me even more excited abt their relationship like i can imagine him being fiercely protective of her 🫣 and when they finally have sex without the hatred 🥴 knowing you, i can already predict my state upon reading that in the future:

_____________________ | | | RIP | | | | here lies | | | | selene | | | | dod: the day zadie posts | | ch!ynhoon making love | | | _____________________

(that was highly unnecesary and extra of me, but i am not embarrassed😌)

anw here's your daily dose of love🫶🏻: my amazing sweet talented angel baby i hope you had a good night's sleep (and a good day today too bc you're prolly reading this at night i think?) bc your health is very important <3 go to sleep with a happy mind my love

sweet dreams x

🌕

aaaah selene my moon baby 🥺🤍pls dont ever be sorry about sending multiple asks, i genuinely appreciate them all and the fact you take time out of your day to send me this means the world to me so thank you

i think at this point i made it quite obvious but i still wanted to give you guys the satisfaction of having him confirm it himself 🤭

i love love love your theory so so much and i think ive already saidnit once before (i cant remember tbh) that there's a misunderstanding on both sides so this is definitely possible but who knows 🤭

honestly i cant wait for the big reveal but we've still got a loooong way to go so buckle up and be ready for the angst baby 🤭🤍

thank you so, so much for your heartwarming words. you never fail to make me feel loved and appreciated and it honestly is smth i wont ever take for granted. i hope you have great day and know how loved you are. sending you such a big kiss rn 🥺💞🫧

#; mailbox 📬#; cold hearts

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and-stir-the-stars · 8 months

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Saffron pawn au playlist

Unfortunately i don't know a lot of songs that would be relevant in the time period SP takes place, so this is more filled with modern songs; a separate playlist with time relevant songs may or may not be made at a later date

Shots by Imagine Dragons. The idea of feeling like you destroyed someone you love and are fated to do nothing but destroy everything around you is ofc very Mike coded

Super Bass by Nicki Minaj bc imagining Evan teasing Mike with the lyric "you know how i feel about American guys,, SIGH" is SO FUCKING FUNNY IDC

Talkin In Your Sleep, for Discord reasons

the Tornado bc... idk actually. I just randomly thought of Ev being a paper boy while listening to this song once and it got Permanently Engrained in my head, okay

Love Love Love by of Monsters and Men. It's an aro/loveless song, and while the song is meant to be about romantic love, I feel it can work decently well for familial love as well. "You love when you know I can't love (you)" just makes me think of Evan and his complicated feeling about Mike and the knowledge that Mike genuinely loves him now of all the times when Ev needed it in the past.

Animal I Have Become, bc ofc a saffron pawn playlist is going to need a generic and overplayed song about being turned into a monster, okay. Duh. I don't make the rules. Song also can work well for both Ev and Mike's perspectives

Goofy Goober Rock bc Evan likes Spongebob. Duh.

Hold My Hand by Sam Burchfield. Mostly here for the vibes; there's something about the longing for someone to care and for things to be okay in the end. I think about Ev playing this on piano and Ev and Mike singing the lyrics together a lot.

i Hate Everything About You. Again, we need generic overplayed songs that represent Ev and Mike's hatred of Will, okay (another song meant as a love song but I'm not viewing it that way, shush). Also works well (in some lyrics but mostly just the vibes) from the perspective of early days after Mike gets custody of Evan, when Evan still wants to hate Mike but is confused and isolated at the realization that Will never loved him, and Ev is searching for something to fill the void that leaves.

Barking at the Moon, by Jenny Lewis. Here for the vibes about being able to start a new, happy life with someone you care about. Let the saffron boys be happy :((

Make Me a Hero by DHeusta. The song is literally Mike Afton POV anyway, and the theme of Mike wanting to make up for what he did by trying to keep someone (Evan) safe is ofc relavent to the au. "Make me a hero because I might be afraid of the night I'm trying to brave" hits for Saff mike

Monster by Imagine Dragons, blah blah blah both Ev and Mike feel like monsters

Motion Sicknesses. "I hate you for what you did, and I miss you like a little kid." Evan's feelings abt Mike after Mike left him behind

My Blood by 21 pilots. Smth about 2 brothers swearing to be there for each other just hits. Smth smth Mike saying he's going to be there for evan and will never give up on evan no matter what, but also... evan saying "you don't need to run (anymore)" back.

Strangers like Me from Tarzan. Just makes me think of evan struggling to Understand that other people are "like him", but really wanting to engage with other people and learn more about them yet not knowing how. Once he starts being able to not repress everything about himself or respond immediately to others with venom, he's able to see other people and their struggles and their beauty in their humanity, but he feels forever held apart from it all bc of what he went through/ what he did.

Stronger Than You from Steven Universe. First off, it's about two people having a strong connection. "This is us, back together, and we're never going down at the hands of the likes of you (William/Henry/whoever) because we're so much better." This is Mike and Evan accepting each other and saying "fuck you" to all the forces that have tried to tear them apart, pit them against each other, and wear them down. "Go ahead and try and hit me if you're able. Can't you see that my relationship is stable? I can see you hate the way we intermingle."

Every Teardrop A Waterfall by Coldplay. Id an Evan song in general but is esp relevant to Saffron Ev, who has a passion for music; I can see him blaring music and it feeling like heaven for him, but also as a method of dissociating.

Therapy by All Time Low. Both the boys dealing with toxicity from William and Henry, blah blah blah.

Flags by Coldplay. Here for vibes. "If you could do it all again, would you do it all the same? Is there something that you'd tell your former self? There were pirates who had never seen the sea, But the one recurring theme, the one recurring dream they had Was to be whatever they wanted to be." Just wanting to be who you are and live a happy life is a theme very relevant to the brothers.

Ink by Coldplay. Reminds me of Mike's love of Evan, even if Evan can't love mike back. "Got a tattoo and the pain's alright, ooh, ooh. Just want a way of keeping you inside (oh, oh). All I know, All I know Is that I'm lost In your fire below. All I know Is that I love you so, So much that it hurts." Double points bc mike is a tattoo artist in the au, and my early versions of mike's design had him with tattoos specifically to remind himself of Evan

In My Place by coldplay. Mike pov song. "In My Place Were lines that I couldn't change. I was lost, oh yeah, Crossed lines I shouldn't have crossed. I was scared, I was scared, Tired and under prepared. How long must you wait for it? How long must you pay for it?"

In Our Bedroom After the War. This one needs no explanation.

Into the Open Air from Disney Brave. Evan's tentative feelings about his newfound relationship with Mike; Evan carries a lot of distrust and heartbreak after how they could never seem to connect in their youth ("i tried to speak to you every day, but each word we spoke the wind blew away"), but wants to move forward ("can we carry this love we share into the open air?") Will this relationship we're making last? Will it mean anything? Will it break? Can we mean anything to each other? I often imagine adult evan playing piano and singing this one to sort through, then honor, his pain and complicated feelings about Mike.

The Kids Aren't Alright by FOB. General vibes. Neither of these kids are alright. Other than that it might be more relevant to Jem and Mike, actually

Learn Me Right from Brave. Here for these lines specifically: "We'll fulfill our dreams and we'll be free. We will be who we are. And they'll heal our scars; Sadness will be far away. So I had done wrong, but you put me right: My judgment burned in the black of night. When I give less than I take, It is my fault, my own mistake." Smth smth the longing to be free and happy. Smth smth Mike and Evan learning how to be better with each other, learning to forgive each other and themselves for their past mistakes.

Some Kind of Disaster by All Time Low. Mike pov song abt him not feeling good enough.

Brother by Madds buckley. This song suggested to me by @destefaniart, and they have a good explanation post for it here, way better than i could write

Monster by Starset. "Under the knife I surrendered, The innocence yours to consume. You cut it away And you filled me up with hate. You're the pulse in my veins. You're the war that I wage. Can you cage me? Can you change me? From the monster you made me?" Evan's (and Mike's) angry feelings toward William after what Will did to him (and to Mike, too).

I doubt anyone would want it but i can give the link to the spotify playlist if anyone asks

#Some of these are crack songs but some of them are worth it #Esp towards the end #Saffron pawn au

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fumifooms · 2 years

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An unpolished review of Stranger Things 4′s Henry Creel and ableism. Eleven vs Henry, the good neurodivergent vs the dangerous mentally ill. Character analysis

Tldr, Stranger Things made some wild (insensitive) choices.

Umm so I watched the ep 7 of Stranger Things S4 and I have... Mixed feelings. I started writing this before volume 2 was out, and I’m finishing it in the end of july. I’ve had plenty of time to let it marinate, think and debate with others on it. It took this long for me to sort out my feelings and build up the courage to make any post in support of Henry Creel’s experiences and humanity, but I’ve gotten there, kind of.

I guess I should mention this too, kinda important, but I’m autistic. I was diagnosed at 18 and got all sorts of messed up and some internalized ableism I’ve worked through. The way I see it, currently in Stranger Things, the characters of Henry Creel, Eleven, Robin and even Will all have significant back-up to support them being autistic. Here what matters most is Henry’s, because his is the most overt and less masked, and Eleven’s due to the topic, but Henry having autism is the only actual diagnosis one I’m determined on defending. Regardless, canonically stated or not, much like being diagnosed or undiagnosed, it isn’t because you don’t have a label for it that you aren’t, and that the symptoms and experiences you have because of your autism don’t exist and don’t manifest. A character can have a mental illness or disorder without authorial intent, because things don’t exist in a vacuum.

A few important things to keep in mind before we start, well summarized by the following posts. I’ll still be reiterating these things as I go though bc people have no chill:

https://nemevex.tumblr.com/post/676815383203840001/mental-illnesses-can-increase-the-chance-of-being

https://psychonarc.tumblr.com/post/664768075380441089/its-interesting-to-watch-neurotypicals-grapple

https://theegosystem.tumblr.com/post/657136958513037312/id-title-of-picture-says-how-can-someone-have-so

Tldr: https://mibasai.tumblr.com/post/669402579694993408/reminder-that-if-your-horror-is-reliant-on note: regardless of how many decent neurodivergent portrayals you have in your show, if one of them is an actively ableist portrayal, your show is still ableist. Being an ally to neurodivergent people isn’t about picking and choosing who is too scary to empathize with and not just “these few misfit kids were good and deserving of acceptance despite being a bit quirky all along”

shortest tldr: https://aeon-of-neon.tumblr.com/post/685452896681230336/also-can-i-just-say-the-autistic-child-is-evil

My tldr: The way Henry Creel was handled is literally autism & aspd fearmongering lol.

It may sound like I’m excusing Henry in this post, and I want to be clear that my goal isn’t to defend Henry’s actions, my goal is to defend Henry’s humanity and complexity as a full human with emotions and thoughts for whose whole identity isn’t the innate want to cause harm and be evil, since everyone is so set on strictly seeing him as such. Perhaps, you could use your empathy, which you condemn him for not having, to not deem him an irredeemable heartless monster whose abuse is justified.

Warnings for spoilers and discussion of heavy themes such as ableism, abuse, animal torture and the targeted ableist killing by the nazi Hans Asperger.

Disclaimer: This is not a clean essay. I was and am hurt and very defensive of these experiences and feelings which I identify and sympathize with, and I am confused. There are ways you can interpret the canon text in good faith, where everything is aligned in a way that lessens the ableist damage, but you have to dig and theorize so much that it doesn’t feel genuine to say that in this one case the narrative wouldn’t be ableist. I find it very hard to contain all my thoughts in one essay, especially since there’s so much analysis to set up before you can even attempt to humanize Henry’s mentality and choices, so I’ve chosen to reduce this as a casual review rather than an essay, and explain Henry Creel’s various ideologies and actions in other, later posts. I might come back to polish this one at some point later though, yet once again. I have written and rewritten the same points as below in so many ways scattered on multiple private platforms. To “polish” this for posting, I’ve spent literally 8 hours nonstop today. God. Anyways, let’s move onto the thing.

Part of this essay was written before volume two and it’ll be apparent in the language and chronological order most times, but I did go back and organize ideas better and add in a few paragraphs so it might jump back and forth a bit.

The whole twist of Creel being One was sooo well executed and interesting and it had me hooked, I LOVED all of the build up to the reveal. I love mysteries that come together like puzzle pieces, and the way a lot of plot points and parts of the intrigue just tied together seamlessly felt so “wow” and satisfying. But then... They made him be evil because of neurodivergence...?

Like, it’s not about giving your villain a complex backstory and grey morals, it’s about the framing. And yes, the framing absolutely was ableist.

The framing

Because, the show is explicitely saying that Creel is evil because he was inherently different since birth. The show suddenly stops highlighting the abuse and stygmatization he has suffered (such as “all the teachers and doctors said I was broken”, the corporal punishment for speaking to El which we were made to sympathize with before the reveal),and starts treating him like he’s some exotic beast, not like us TM, a monster.

And all this while having him say such neurodivergent things to say... It was actually painful for me to hear him say everything, especially the whole spiders thing, because it was so relatable and accurate, and for it to be framed with ominous music in tandem with the narrative and ambiance that we should be repulsed with everything that comes out of his mouth & everything he stands for. It honestly felt like the show was calling me crazy and evil because I was relating as he was talking.

But hey, I guess if they were going for historically accurate story & character tropes then ableism is def a pick. Wow, you’re so creative, the antisocial kid tortures animals and that lack of empathy means he’s a monster! It’s overdone, guys. It’s Split level of ableist horror sensationalization. It’s not that deep. Intention matters, we’re always saying how intention matters, why is Henry defiguring animals the proof of his demonic nature when it was done out of a lack of self-awareness to difference right from wrong, which kids are famous for not having, much like when you burn ants through a magnifier glass? It’s not that big of a jump. People hunt recreatively. People often hunt unethically. Are recreative hunters demonized by society at large? It was done humanely without any ill intention mind you, but was I demonic as a child when I held the corpse of hares my family got in hunting traps and not thinking anything of its death? Henry wanted to practice his skills, and that’s what he did, on living moving targets. It wasn’t done for a pleasure of animal pain, it was done in an objective efficient detached mindset. That doesn’t make it not disturbing or alright, it just means that doesn’t make him a subhuman or something. That kinda was the line when I debated about Henry being deserving of a modicum of sympathy with my mother for her, and it’s wild to see how quickly people are to refuse sympathy to another human because they sympathize with animals more and want to overtly attribute morality to its death. “Yeah Henry was abused in the labs and that sucks I guess, but he did torture those animals” to practice his skills, yeah! Even with Eleven we were shown that killing, and even just pushing someone back, with psychic powers isn’t that simple, straightforward and without other effects, and if Henry could kill quickly without pain and other disfigurations, then better practice would maybe be to disfigure intentionally instead of going straight for death. It seems terrible talking about this, and that’s because it is, but once again I’m explaining thought processes and how they’re not super wild demonic ones that people can’t understand. I had to bust out the “I can tolerate abusive and traumatic human bigotry, but I draw the line at animal abuse” quote and then my mom conceded lol. Y’all need to demistify these sensationalized things and put them down from the pedestral of innate morality you’ve put it on, the show is manipulating you and kids don’t experiment with killing animals because they’re some widow spider demons coming to kill everyone. Empathy doesn’t equal compassion. Kids are kids.

It’s the way Stranger Things wanted Eleven to push him away with disgust and horror with 0 nuance, even if they were the closest thing each other had to friends in such a cold, abusive place for so long. It’s the way all the abuse he endured was no longer treated as such, the way the show now showed that abuse as deserved. It’s the way the pieces of the puzzle all came together for the grand evil villain finale and the explanation for his motivations wasn’t “I am angry at the world/I want justice/they’ve kept us prisoners and mistreated us” but was “I’ve always been different”, and without saying it so obviously wanting the audience to continue that statement with “which makes me want to hurt and kill people”.

It’s the way the show suddenly did an 180 from before and after telling his backstory and wanting him to become entirely unsympathetic. God I hope I’m wrong and the second part of the season spins that on its head. It’s not the fact that Henry is ND [NeuroDivergent], I think with his story that’s interesting and compelling, but it’s the way the show wants us to shake in horror at the Big Bad ND. Henry is a traumatized abuse survivor, he needs support and guidance, not to be killed on sight, like the vibes are supporting in ep 7. Henry massacred everyone in the labs after he’s been forcefully kept under its control for years and mistreated there by everyone, after a lifetime of trauma and the strong self-preservation survival instincts it caused, and the person he risked himself so much to help, who has gone through so much so similarly to him, that he feels a connection with, just immediately turns on him murderously after seeing what he’s done, no attempt to talk, no confusion, no heartbroken words, just “oh yeah I guess you know who I really am now, I’mma have to kill you too ig” and “I can’t believe you were so evil all along :(( I hate you & I have to kill you now”. Why so black and white? Like I almost feel gaslighted, I can’t be the only one to think that a step was missed here, how did we go from extremely abusive living conditions to fully dehumanizing the marginalized victim with 0 recognition that at least part of his resentment and agressive lashing back is justified?? It would have been so much more compelling and heartbreaking of a scene like it seemed they wanted it to be if they had Henry attempt to comfort/explain it to Eleven more on her level, like how he’s doing it for them or how they hurt them and all. He did, in a way, but even that felt through the lenses that Henry is only capable of manipulation. I still believe by his massacre Henry thought he was doing the right thing/what he needed to do. They wanted to get out and leave the life behind, Henry wanted to make sure it’d never come back for them, or hell, never continue and bring more people into the misery, with maybe that “purging evil from the world” stance yeah since it seems like the show is going for a Thanos situation. The point isn’t that that motivation makes it ok, the point is that Henry isn’t depicted as some one dimensional monster born and raised villain. The way he cares for Eleven’s wellbeing is so obvious, how did it end like that? Surely if he felt like himself and Eleven were really so similar, he would have tried reasoning with her when he saw she wasn’t on board with what he had done?

The problem isn’t that Eleven, another traumatized abused child, reacted intensely and violently to the very personal and upsetting events, it’s that the show, the narrative, the atmosphere and everything, takes her side on her reaction of killing him without any second guessing was just and right without nuance. The show giving any hint at all that Henry might have been deserving of sympathy or a chance was in the last episode, executed very dismissively.

The good neurodivergent vs the bad neurodivergent, and the lack of nuance

God, the parallels between One and Eleven through the season now are nauseating, because it’s the trope of the “good misfit everyone should actually love” vs the “misfit that everyone is right to reject bc they deserve it and are inherently bad”. What???? What?????? How does that not destroy every meaningful lesson and theme you’ve ever attempted to build? It’s the model minority schema, guys.

Do you know why Asperger’s is a very outdated term for “high-functioning” autism? Because it doesn’t exist, and was rooted in ableism. Asperger’s is a subjective assessment of an autistic person to evaluate if they’re smart despite being autistic and if they can function to the treshold they wish for, despite being autistic. Asperger’s was the difference between the “exceptional autistic genius that’s surhuman” trope and being labelled “mentally handiccaped”. You know what’s the difference between Asperger’s and autism? Masking. Masking, the act of suppressing your neurodivergence and mimicking neurotypical behavior which is detrimental to your mental health and exhausting to the point of often causing chronic fatigue. Masking, which is a defense mechanism and oftentime, a trauma response. The only way for them not to be rejected by society growing up, even through a lifetime of feeling like you don’t belong and not knowing what’s wrong with you, why you’re broken and why no one can fix you. Autism is a spectrum, it’s in the diagnosis’ name, and what that means is that everyone has different levels of symptoms, different limits and different tresholds. There is no “high-functioning” and “low-functioning”, it’s “how visible are your quirks, how easy is it for you to hide your problems in this society which was not made for people like you, how long and consistently can you keep it up, how much are you willing to damage yourself to fit in?”

Hans Asperger’s studies, in the era of world war 2, which resulted in the diagnosis and its different classification from autism, was literally, without going into gritty details, him gauging which autistic people seemed “smart” enough, functioning enough to be useful to the rest of society, which were exceptional enough to be worth studying and learning from, and differenciating those autistic people from the autistic people who should be sent to die.

I’ll be quoting this article for the next bit: https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/the-truth-about-hans-aspergers-nazi-collusion/

Sheffer reveals how the Nazi aim of engineering a society they deemed ‘pure’, by killing people they saw as unworthy of life, led directly to the Holocaust.

With insight and careful historical research, Sheffer uncovers how, under Hitler’s regime, psychiatry—previously based on compassion and empathy—became part of an effort to classify the population of Germany, Austria and beyond as ‘genetically’ fit or unfit. In the context of the ‘euthanasia’ killing programmes, psychiatrists and other physicians had to determine who would live and who would be murdered. It is in this context that diagnostic labels such as ‘autistic psychopathy’ (coined by Asperger) were created.

Sheffer lays out the evidence, from sources such as medical records and referral letters, showing that Asperger was complicit in this Nazi killing machine. He protected children he deemed intelligent. But he also referred several children to Vienna’s Am Spiegelgrund clinic, which he undoubtedly knew was a centre of ‘child euthanasia’, part of what was later called Aktion T4.

This was where the children whom Nazi practitioners labelled ‘genetically inferior’ were murdered, because they were seen as incapable of social conformity, or had physical or psychological conditions judged undesirable. Some were starved, others given lethal injections. Their deaths were recorded as due to factors such as pneumonia.

Sheffer argues that Asperger supported the Nazi goal of eliminating children who could not fit in with the Volk: the fascist ideal of a homogeneous Aryan people.

This is incredibly serious for an Henry Creel tumblr essay, I am aware, and I am crying copy pasting this, and that is why this is important. Important for people to think about when they deem Henry Creel as a born monster. Why this is important to me. Do keep on telling me how Henry Creel was only ever good to imprison in a lab and experiment on, go on.

Because yes, Henry has explicitely neurodivergent experiences and displays over neurodivergent mannerism. Him not fitting in, having doctors trying to fix him as a person, and the whole feeling different (literally said by Henry as "I’ve always been different"). The whole relating to stygmatized animals is literally a very, very common experience in neurodivergent people with that sort of disorder. Even if it wasn’t intentional, it is so obvious that it cannot be ignored, and if the authors decided to ignore it anyways then that’s still ableism, you simply don’t want to admit your horror is rooted in ableism. But I do think it was intentional, because like I said they went out of their way this season to make Robin autistic. But especially because they did so many parallels with Henry and Eleven; they kept talking a about how "we’re the same you and me, we’re different" only being confirmed/reinforced by Henry being neurodivergent and saying neurodivergent experiences 24/7 and aaaaall the times people said like, "Oh Eleven is different. She doesn’t fit in" like so many times through the season and all the stuff in the labs and ugh. And yeah, the Eleven vs Henry parallels capitalize on ableist horror, the horror of the "good neurodivergent vs scary dangerous neurodivergent" trope, where one argues that one is fine and good while the other deserves no human rights. Because someone you don’t understand nor control having the power to snap under your abuse, just like any neurotypical, is a scary concept to many. It’s the unpredictable animal. You don’t trust that there is good in what you don’t know nor understand. And that goes both ways, you see no good in Henry, and Henry sees no good in humanity in kind, and with his experiences, it’s in part literally justified.

The thing with the Eleven vs Henry parallels though is that Henry was engineered to be “What if the villain was just like Eleven, but chose evil?”. That’s why in ep 8 the guys are like “Vecna is just like Eleven! How do we fight that?” That’s why the season kept having characters say how alike they are, having Henry say it, have other characters say how Eleven doesn’t fit in, all of it! They wanted dark!Eleven for the aesthetics, but didn’t bother making deeper themes, didn’t bother making it a true parallel because they wanted to dehumanize Henry as the epitome of categoric evil. It doesn’t work or register to the audience much, because they failed to treat him as they would have Eleven. Literally, they did the "Eleven thought she did it but actually it was Henry" while continually pointing out how "similar" the two are. Henry is literally a narrative of dark!Eleven, except they don’t offer him the sympathy that they would have offered her had their roles truly been reversed. Oh hurray!! Eleven didn’t actually kill all these people, she’s too good for that! She could never, in fact she’d rather kill the meanie who did it in righteous anger! No need for an identity crisis! No need to feel such guilt! Yes, the good girl could never deal with such a morally ambiguous revelation of something terrible she has done, there is no hidden evil sides to El like you might have thought with her assaulting her bully, she’s clean! A murderer is born, not made! <3 Because there are ways to respond to trauma that make you innately evil, of course.

We had fricking Billy hargrove. Billy Hargrove. Billy "tries to run over kids and torments everyone personally" Hargrove. They had Billy Hargrove get more depth, sympathy and respect than Henry "I’m Eleven but if she had snapped" Creel. I’m sorry but if Billy gets to almost run over kids to make a point and gets largely forgiven by the fandom then why can’t Henry who’s been intensely abused for a decade in the place he’s breaking free from and lashing out, like, the line to end all lines. You want to tell me emotionally stunted abused boy violently lashing out in a breakdown at his agressive cellmates and captors of 10 years is marginally worse than Eleven wanting to use her powers on Angela and impulsively hitting her head with an object for verbal bullying of like, some months? Yeah Eleven kinda regretted it, kinda, and the injury wasn’t super serious, but the initial intent was there, the impulse was there, if you lose control and give into the impulse, are you forgiven because the action failed to be as grave as you wished, or hadn’t thought through the possibility of serious/fatal damage? No, that makes you a Billy Hargrove who was willing to bet on kids’ lives that his sister would give into him before his car ran them over. Henry is dark!Eleven, indeed. Tell me, which of the two is the high-functioning autistic? We can talk all day about how they’re different, who is irredeemable and if that matters, but can’t we all just recognize the nuance? The shades of grey? It doesn’t have to be either "you’re an evil monster who can never change" or "misunderstood cinnamon roll who deserves all the good faith in the world", it can just be "you’re an ugly, hurting human being, and you suck, but I see you, and I recognize your pain and humanity. Your pain explains your actions, but doesn’t excuse them." A show shouldn’t bend the line of who has good in them and who doesn’t because one is your problematic fave while the other is supposed to be your big villain so you make him neurodivergent and different, forgetting that he, too, experienced the tragedy of his tragic backstory.

Framing is important. Stories create bias and hold bias, writing is biased and we as the audience are biased.

Let me ask you, when we kept getting told that Eleven killed a whole room of kid cellmates, what were your theories? No matter how much or little you thought about it, your instinct probably told you that in a moment of overwhelming emotions El had a violent burst of powers that she couldn’t/wouldn’t control. Did you think her lesser for it? Were you going to turn your back to her? What makes me so mad is the unwillingness of anyone to give similar good faith to Henry. This guy developed a “it’s me alone against the world that shunned me” mentality from a young age due to being ostracized by everyone in his life including his family, then handled traumatic truths about his family’s past misdeeds through superpowers and gained delusions of grandeur ideologies as a mechanism to give meaning to his life and otherizarion, was hospitalized against his will into the care of a doctor who groomed him for his purposes and unethically tested on him & then kept him a prisoner for roughly a decade (my guess). Is it really so hard to believe that his reaction to finally becoming free, getting back the power and agency they stole from him, and having to flee the place while workers of the establishment that abused him try to chain you back, you’d overly react? You wouldn’t have an emotional breakdown, an episode, a violent and vengeful burst? Who’s to say if your survival mode didn’t make you go on autopilot? That is an abused, mentally ill psychologically vulnerable young man who has never been treated with understanding or love nor therapy. He has spent more years in the lab than Eleven, and we all know how much it messed her up. In this same season 4 we saw how Eleven’s reaction to emotional distress is violence, when she tried to use her powers against her bully, and later with the rollerskate assault. We literally saw how the kids in the lab were pitched against each other and would torment each other, and use excessive force in experiment matches. They were literally raised to respond to conflict by being the stronger one in a fight. They want to survive and thrive, have learned survival of the fittest, and so prioritize themselves, it’s simple. ASPD is born from trauma. ASPD forms as a defense & coping mechanism. You would have forgiven Eleven for doing the same thing. Why is Henry Creel irredeemable even in the best world? Framing, is when.

Conclusions

You can’t just... Divorce things from their irl parallels or effects. You can’t have Henry Creel having explicitely neurodivergent experiences and encourage inherently fearing him for it. You absolutely CANNOT have the whole “these animals are misunderstood and perceived as scary by most, just like me” and DOUBLE DOWN on that by making that animal a scary symbolic thing for the main villain that is supposed to make your skin crawl and personify evil and has caused every horror that has happened in the show. It’s... It’s just so cruel. I don’t get it? I don’t understand. How can you have a speech on something just wanting to live its life unbothered and being stigmatized by everyone for no reason and going “yeah that’s 100% justified and you shouldn’t sympathize with them at all actually. If you do sympathize then that means there’s also something wrong with you”

And it’s such??? A wild take. It feels like the text is at war with itself, with what it sets up and states and what it does the next second. I can’t process that anything else but a sympathizing scene will happen in the climax with all the subtext of trauma and the contradictions that exists with the season as it currently is, but also I can’t see how they would handle a redemption or anything of the like, all while the episode/show is really going the “oh look at the scary mentally ill person!!” route so??? Wtf is going on. It’s such a wild 180, the before reveal and post-reveal season 4 characterisations, plotlines and themes feel so disjointed. What is up with the writing They literally went "I am so rejected by my peers that I latch onto this misunderstood, feared spider because I relate to its ostracization and struggle." And then the show goes "Yeah, you should fear him and those spiders. The spiders will come at you in horrific hallucinations, and Henry was born a murderous murder whose only way to cure is to be killed" that’s just so cruel of a narrative wow ok bruh

No, you can’t have the “omg this character is not normal, so scary” trap for your neurotypical audience and then at the last ep go “actually we were woke all along :)”. You didn’t frame this as some tragic character, you framed it as a monster who finally got unleashed, someone who tricked El into helping him commit atrocities despite it not being his intentions, attitude nor goal. It’s scary how quickly people are to believe the “Henry was manipulating Eleven all along” despite him never lying, pushing Eleven to do things, or even attempting to control her. Even at his most unstable and unfavorable to Eleven, during their confrontation, Eleven was the first to strike, and Henry didn’t say anything about forcing her to join him, just tried to convince her he is the righteous one and she should help him in his mission, tbh it kinda seems as if it hadn’t occured to him she might want to not join him at all. I’m not saying the threat at that point wasn’t there, I’m saying that to say everything Henry’s done was in the goal to manipulate and groom her with ill intentions is delusional, but that’s not a random conclusion, nor your fault. The show wants you to think that, with how his character’s demeanor shift, because he has stopped masking his more off-putting posture and tone, how the reveal of him being the big bad since season 1 comes into place at the same time, wow, he’s a mastermind! No, he’s an overpowered, lost, abused young guy who just digged himself deeper in his self-destructive coping mechanism. All the Vecna stuff comes in much, much later, and all he did before that was trying to show Eleven that she’s being abused and breaking her free of that abuse, then accepting her help when she offers to free him despite his reluctance. Was Henry wrong to tell her that Papa lies, to give her the chance to flee? Should he not have done that? And you might go “wait wait wait, you mean that facial expression and demeanor in the labs, besides a breakdown or mental illness episode, could also just be how Henry behaves when he’s not trying to appear neurotypical, when he’s not masking?” Yes. “Wow, it truly is so creepy, you can’t tell me anyone that isn’t a murderous freak would have body language like that! No wonder people wanted doctors to fix him and to forcibly internalize him into abusive psych wards, and keep him restrained!” Wow, you have so many ableist conceptions to work through and get rid off, no wonder Henry wanted you dead <3

People would have been pissed if Henry was treated just as the abused sad boy who did a bad thing for a good reason, but it’s still necessary to acknowledge that abuse and how it further shaped the abuser they have become, and I’m pissed that he’s treated just as some emotionless monster who is incapable of good or nuance ever. It’s not about changing the story, it’s about giving the right amount of accountability while not making the character one note. Stranger Things having a one note evil monster human villain would have been fine, IF they didn’t make the character & their backstory so explicitely neurodivergent coded. How even do you screw up this bad. This was intentionally done, writing & framing doesn’t just happen. Why? The choice was either to capitalize on ableist demonization horror, or have it be subversed later on, but no matter what, it’s still a wildly ableist choice. You wrote Henry Creel as a complex human, why aren’t you treating him as one?

It’s very similar to Azula from atla, really. Child with traumatic childhood and misbehavior grows up somewhat and gets pictured as a mentally disturbed beacon of evil with no other motivation than inflicting pain ever. The show clearly shows aspects that would have you sympathize or understand to a degree, but has a strange obsession with playing ominous music every time they are on screen and manipulates the viewer to interpret every single of their actions as having ill intent. Azula was an abused child soldier who still tried to help her estranged brother despite getting nothing from it. Henry wanted to help El escape from the lab where she obviously should leave asap and asked nothing of her, the plan only changed because she, unprompted, took the initiative to help him in turn despite getting no encouragement before or after from him about it. The show & fandom in both cases are obsessed about all of their actions being manipulative, unwilling to consider that maybe yes, Azula didn’t want to have her brother killed and yes, maybe Henry just wanted to have the abused kid & kindred spirit he felt a connection with be free from the hell they lived in. If you don’t believe me about Azula, there are plenty of objective Azula scene & character analysis on Tumblr. This post is also interesting for the conversation at hand. I honestly could link so many things that support my other general claims and explain why things are wrong but man this could get so huge. This is such a prominent issue in pop culture and everyone is so ready to jump to the defense of ableist depictions of villains, ironically.

Is this why they made Robin autistic all of a sudden, because they knew their main villain storyline was ableist af... 🤭🤭 Anyways yeah Henry joins my pile of ND antagonists that were done dirty by canon

Henry Creel could have been written so well. The crumbs are all there, I could do a psychology analysis of him with his childhood and thought processes and have him still be exactly as he is on screen while being a complex, three dimensional villain. But nooo we get autism & ASPD fearmongering, alright.

There would have been soooo many ways to dehumanize Henry, to make him some heartless creepy monster, without making his whole aesthetic being neurodivergent = evil. They literally just had to not make his experiences be a copy of a neurodivergent kid growing up in an era very hostile and unaccommodating for people different like him. Like we see Eddie being treated, and even then Henry prob had it worse at least in some ways. They literally just had to not put his character through abuse and ostracization and then there would have been no reason to sympathize at all. A child who has enough issues to murder his family through fire is a child that has issues and needs help, not to be further demonized and cement their "me versus the world" mentality. They just had to not do these things, not even to do something else, just to take those out. Henry would have still been demonized by mannerism that is often shared with autistic people, amongst others, and would have still done all the horrible shit he did, but at least then the parallels would be much less worse, it wouldn’t be so overtly ableist and neurodivergent people wouldn’t feel hurt watching it.

Before this ends I do want to say that no, obviously, I don’t support Henry killing anyone, nor any of his bad actions. I don’t want to excuse it, and him getting some level of punishment is deserved, though rehabilitation is really more my jam, and if the punishment only reinforces the thought processes he gained as a defense mechanism... You know what I’m saying? It’s frankly immature to look at such an obviously morally complex story and characters and just, treat it the way they have? It’s disgusting. I guess I really shouldn’t be surprised about this from the show who depicts anything russian... That way though, lol... This was pretty emotional and unpolished, aka repetitive and ungraceful, but yeah I just hope I won’t cause a fandom war or get shit on or smth. It’s all just :( The stench of ableism is just undeniable and I’m both mad and disappointed, I just hope the latter end of the season will amend it somewhat. Was the episode low on time or something? Did the whole “actually yeah your heart is supposed to wrench in sympathy for him and the show frames it as super tragic and sad for him to have been pushed to become this way” and by “this way” I mean irredeemable in their eyes just go over my head or something? Must be my autism <3 I’mma still watch the show, and I cast no moral judgements for other fans, especially since a lof of this is the framing of the show manipulating the audience, but if you love the whole Henry backstory and how it was executed, at least understand/aknowledge how deeply problematic it was handled.

Part two (yep, those were all part one thoughts)

UPDATE - season 4 part 2

Wow it really got better! Sike it only got worse. I had hope during many moments in ep 8 to be honest. I really thought Eleven was processing the trauma of Henry turning out to be evil and having mixed feelings and all, like with the scene where she watched Max & co talk about him and how to take him down. The fact that “Henry’s just like Eleven, a supernatural gifted kid & kinda doesn’t fit in” and “So, how do we take Henry, the monster, down?” were said so closely next to each other and so casually, coupled with Eleven’s upset expression, really had me thinking that Eleven was upset to see Henry, an ex-friend and kindred spirit, as this monster they had to put down, and to be likened to him so much. I even expected that maybe the next thing one would say would be “Well, what are Eleven’s weaknesses we could exploit to kill Henry?” which would have been horrifying for her for sure, to have that parallel so easily not only be drawn but exploited for the murder of one.

The neurodivergent lines and parallels about Eleven are also still ongoing, so that solidifies that Henry is intentionally neurodivergent coded as well.

Papa’s death

I have my beef with Papa’s death and how it was handled.

Particularly, it’s really sad how all the other kids in the labs don’t matter beyond adding trauma flavor to Eleven. When she’s having cryptic flashback at first, she’s horrified at what she thinks she did, but not that much because of who they were. Afterward, she’s sad about it, but again, more in an horrified empathetic way rather than truly mourning them, it’s about her trauma, not them. Father is... Well it’s kind of left up to the audience to interpret how he reacted to Eleven, if like Henry said Papa only got more scared of her because of it, if he got intrigued by this new power and urges he thought she got, if he understood immediately that she freed 001 like implied, or if he was disapproving of Eleven for making him lose all his other experiments, or even sad at losing all these children. In the end, even if it’s very obvious to the audience that those kids were just traumatized children trying to get by in an abusive environment, how the show treats them is kinda dehumanizing, as mere plot devices. Eleven cried at the show of evil, because of guilt and maybe suppressed mourning, and Father pretty much dismisses their loss after the event. So that’s how their deaths were handled and shown, but how is the aftermath of it treated? Well it just isn’t mentioned. Not by any character, not beyond a “how could you let Henry be in proximity with these kids he ended up murdering!” which is about villifying Henry and questioning Father’s, an unquestionable figure of authority and all-knowing well-meaning caretaker put on a pedestral choices up to that point, and not really about the kids. Or a “all these deaths!” which isn’t about the kids, but about the virtue signalling. It’s not about them, it’s about Henry and the conflict between Eleven and Father, the arcs that the two are going through, of questioning that authority figure who’s always had a grip on her life, and of falling down his pedestral with others as well as with his own convictions. It’s not about them.

The episode is about Eleven, and Father and Henry. The arc shown about Father getting what he deserves isn’t about all the horrible things Father has done, getting confronted with them, attempting to atone or repress their memories or anything, it’s about Eleven rejecting him and everything he has taught. Let me repeat this. The episode where Father gets called out is about his treatment of Eleven, and Eleven first and foremost, if not ONLY. The level to which they acknowledge Father abused everyone else just as much as Eleven is very weak.

Please, let’s acknowledge how messed up, truly nauseatingly fucking MESSED UP it is that Papa gets told (paraphrasing bc I watched the ep in french) “You kept Henry imprisoned at the labs for so long... With all of us!” I was so positively stunned when Eleven said the first part with such resentful rage. Yes, Henry was abused, too! Papa kept all of you prisoners! He is why Henry got reaffirmed in his belief that humanity are a selfish and spineless disease to wipe out! He traumatized you all, traumatized him even further! But no. The reproach isn’t that Henry shouldn’t have been treated as some subhuman scientific experiment, it’s that he allowed monster murderous Henry to share their vicinity. That of course Papa should have known, if Henry was living with them for such a prolonged time, he was bound to eventually kill them! Can Henry just never have human contact ever again then?? How is anyone surprised Henry never got better when this is how everyone treats him. You don’t want Henry to get better, you want ease of mind from his existence, and killing him erases the problem just fine so why bother? Did you know, that a lot of professional therapists and programs deny cases that are “too severe”, even if the individual seeks help and self-improvement? A lot of people turn away patients with cluster b disorders just because the disorders, their perceived symptoms and perceived unstability scares them, even if the individual is harmless. Everyone tells pedos (regardless of criminal record if any) to seek help with a sneer, for example, but no one wants to be the person to offer that help, no even those whose literal job it is, and that’s why this question is one that is asked to anyone looking to become a psychologist. “Would you be willing/strong enough to accept to work with [insert type of patient]?”. Most of people’s answers are no. You don’t want them to get better, you want them to rot in prison away from the world until they die. I take no pleasure in saying this, but it is a real issue, and one that most people refuse to acknowledge. You don’t want Henry to get better, because you don’t trust his capacity nor worthiness of getting better, and that’s an issue, and that is ableist, but the blame is shared with the show because it encourages you to think that way, and the arguments it gives in support of this stance are ableist and insidious.

It really is truly horrifyingly dehumanizing to see how they categorically refuse to see Henry as a victim of abuse and trauma in any capacity, how they deny his complexity and capacity for non-evil so much. Eleven implies that yeah, it’s okay if Henry is locked up, in fact, he should never be allowed near anyone! He should have been killed as a baby! Because death was the only solution and getting him the earlier the better! It’s sad that Eleven doesn’t have even a shred of sympathy for him, considering how indeed similar they were and how they connected, how he was her only ally for such a harsh prolonged period of her life. She doesn’t even mourn the person she thought he was, couldn’t show the same sympathy for the victim of a same abuser the same way she has to the ones who injured and bullied her instead of helping her, albeit in a misguided way. The “You’re the monster” at Papa almost feels like an admittance that Henry isn’t fully to blame for his trauma? But mind the almost, the show still said Papa’s mistake was allowing the dangerous child he’s been abusing to be with other unstable kids. Yeah I’m sure it really helped how Papa encouraged violence (pitting the kids against each other in unfriendly fights, without punishing excessive use of strenght to hurt, and even rewarding shows of excessive violence by being impressed, beyond the obvious extra play time. Truly encouraging the survival of the fittest rule where the strong deserve to torment the weak) all while fueling his cynical hatred of humanity. I’m sure Henry would have grown to become Vecna no matter what happened to him, that the same would have happened if he got a shred of a healthy support system for once, if he hadn’t put into the hands of a system that wants him either assimilated or dead.

It doesn’t hurt because we needed speeches on the nature of abuse, it hurts because Stranger things is pushing ableist, anti-rehabilitation, anti-recovery narratives. Henry was born the devil, fated to become the dangerous monster he now is, and death is the only mercy for them all. It could be such an interesting complex take on Eleven’s character as well, of refusing all of Henry’s existing complexity and genuine interactions the two ever had because of the trauma the reveal caused, on how she needs to stop thinking so black and white, that she is not a monster for choosing fight in fight or flight, but still having an arc of deconstructing how she was taught to respond to conflict and distress by violence, because it is wrong. But no, we have milktoast pure evil vs born good and empathetic humans that must hatch it out and “no actually I’m not a monster I just needed to break free from your hold, Papa. But that guy? Yeah there was never any hope y’know some people are just born like that and can’t be fixed”

BUT on the other hand! I got really scared when Father started talking about how all he did was selfless & for Eleven, BUT Eleven didn’t validate or reassure him at all in the end even not as a dying wish, which I really really liked. Like yeah, she can be conflicted and heartbroken and sad over his death, of course, she can hold his hand or whatever, but I’m really super glad she (and the writers) didn’t cross that line of giving him unearned peace and validation by lying about how all the horrible selfish abuse he did was done caringly in some twisted way, and I’m so glad that narrative wasn’t truly pushed. He’s a delusional man who did horrible things and died desperately trying to justify them, and that is fitting.

In conclusion, I continue to be hurt. The gaslighting of the show only makes me more upset. I question the validity of my interpretation and experiences, and wonder if I have the right to be hurt. It tests my sense of self and moral convictions. But logic prevails all and here I am like, 5k later still holding strong. It’s not about defending murder man, it’s about aknowledging the facts of the literal show that Henry was in fact a victim of abuse, how that shouldn’t be brushed off as something that didn’t influence him at all and that, worse, he deserved, and also the basic human compassion principle that everyone is capable of good if given the right environment.

2nd conclusion

Y’all love the “I am the righteous hand of god” tiktoks about the kids fighting back their abusive parent with weapons so much, but when it’s the fictional literal dehumanized kid that’s different and has been told he needs to be fixed all his life showing visions to his parents of their worst actions out of some misguided sense of justice, then lashes out and fights back against his family after they try to get him forcibly hospitalized (into the system that got him abusively imprisoned and groomed for a decade, might I add. Justified fear to have, let’s just say), then goes on some murderous crusade of the ones who hurt him and his bestie after a decade of imprisonment and relentless abuse and are still trying to drag him back into chains, and suddenly you can’t understand it at all? Suddenly violence and confrontation isn’t a response to abuse, a fight or flight survival mechanism, that you can stomach? Where’s the empowering framing and catharsis now?

Like idk how to get you to understand, it’s literally maladaptive abuse responses because you maladaptively develop when you live in abusive environments and get exposed to trauma. It’s literally the “but is it justice or justified to bully the bully” age-old dilemma. What’s not clicking?? That doesn’t make it right it just means Henry isn’t a demonic shell of a human being and you’re not only demonizing this fictional character but also everyone who went through a similar struggle a similar way. It’s not a hard thesis to grasp.

Just to be clear for the umpteenth time, none of Henry’s actions are acceptable. I personally don’t see any of his interactions with Eleven as intentionally manipulative or insidious, I genuinely think he was trying to help selflessly and genuinely connecting with no underlying or evil intentions. I personally see Henry’s response to being set free in the labs of going after everyone who hurt him and could continue the horrible legacy of the labs, people who could search for him and drag him back like we see Papa do with Eleven through the seasons, in some emotional rageful trauma response to be justified. Justified, not acceptable.

Why would Henry kill everyone, including the kids? 1) We’re shown that the staff wants to chain him back and are very fine trying to use violence to do so. First and foremost, Henry fighting back is self-defense because he wants to get out and stay free. It’s pretty much life or death for him at that point, even if they only want to chain him again, it’s not much better than life, is it. That can easily spiral into killing everyone he comes across, because even if they run away they might be getting help or weapons, and at some point there’s no time to gauge a reaction. Then that can veryyy easily devolve into... 2) he’s having some sort of breakdown. After a decade stuck in a prison, he’s finally, finally free but the fight has just begun and as he has to defend himself against everyone coping & defense mechanisms activate and he’s put on autopilot, wether it makes him numb or with some twisted glee of satisfaction, both would sadly be responses of trauma that are valid to be seen as such. 3) The staff is trying to get him back. What if, even if he runs away, the labs would try to track him down and drag him back? That’s is a very sound hypothesis, and one confirmed since we see what happens with Eleven. The only true escape is to kill anyone that could come for him. Kill absolutely everyone involved in the labs. Also, since we see that Henry wanted to get Eleven out, him erasing everything of the labs could be a way to ensure others aren’t dragged into the experiments, for the legacy of the labs to be unable to live on. Though I don’t believe that Henry had so much foresight into the future at that stressful moment to have a reasoning like “I can’t let other superpowered kids alive or they might end up fighting against me”, and it’d feel disjointed from the rest and the tone as a main motivation. 5) Revenge. Those people imprisoned him and Eleven, bullied Eleven. He will kill them all for the way they hurt him and the one person he cares about. In his eyes, either they’re unworthy of life, or it’s really just to deal punishment and gain satisfaction from it. In this category I’d also put his life mission of exterminating humans, might as well start fulfilling it right away.

Why would he kill everyone but El? The show is very explicit about it. Henry sees himself in Eleven, a talented yet quiet and recluse misfit outcast, and feels some connection with her for it. Tbh it’s kind of canonicaly explicitely the neurodivergent spidey senses lmao. Anyways, and Henry got attached to her in that way, and wanted her free out of the labs. He didn’t want harm to come to her, she’s special, the exception, and if the opportunity arises he’d love to have her beside him as he does his genocide thing. He wouldn’t hurt El unprovoked, he even tried to talk/"reason" her into seeing things his way with his speech about his life and human nature. I think he sees himself as her guardian, in a way, a big reason for why he wanted her to wait safely in the closet.

The “visions of past guilt” he inflicted on his family is obviously a terrible, non-justifiable thing to do, but as a kid we’re taught very firmly that justice should be dealt and bad actions should be adressed, and to me it isn’t so wild that upon finding out the terrible horrible shit his family has done, would respond to that trauma by making them confront it alongside him who learned about it all, judging that they haven’t atoned for it enough since he, their son, never knew about it and never saw them sorry for it. It only solidified his unflattering view of humans as callous, immoral selfish creatures, and by then yeah I think that was set in stone enough for him to be ok with murder. But I do think killing his family was... Handled in the show in a weird way that makes it hard for me to suspend my disbelief and not just see the obvious attempt to dehumanize him fully? Like it was really cold, said matter of factly like “Yes, just as I’d planned they all died then and I wasn’t blamed for it. I never cared for them and I felt nothing but satisfaction at a plan well executed. I have never thought about them since, and continued my path into ridding the world of the human leeches”, and? Ok dude, go off I guess. Personally, so as for it not to totally break my interpretation of him as someone who isn’t a one dimensional personification of bloodlust, I see it as him overtly lashing out in the moment, and at the very grave results try to distance himself emotionally from it and act as if it doesn’t matter and he’d have done it anyways. An emotional lash out, response to fear and abuse and distress and a need to protect himself, like when he was free from the chip and the lab wanted to chain him back, like when Eleven got bullied to the point of meltdown.

And if I can give good faith to Eleven for not only being sad at the deaths of her cellmates out of guilt, and that she’s maybe suppressing all the positive she once associated with Henry and didn’t just do a one-dimensional emotionally detached 180 on her stance about him, then I can give good faith to a traumatized, abused Henry who’s never had a good support system and so latched onto spiders because he was just that lonely and otherized for making himself believe that his murder of his family was entirely planned and meaningful, because not being emotionally detached about it and realizing it was a senseless spill of blood would be too painful. I can give good faith that he doesn’t just have some black hole of bloodlust inside, and that if he does that’s born of a coping mechanism, but fundamentally it’s just flawed ideologies based on the need to give his difference and ostracization from other, normal humans, a deeper meaning than just “I have suffered so much because humans are flawed, and that suffering was senseless. But that’s okay, and I need to work through that and let things go, despite that in my era there are no ressources or common compassion for people like me”. Because “we all have good. They say that I’m evil and broken, but I think they’re the ones who are flawed, evil, and should be fixed. But I understand that that course of action is flawed, and none of us are evil and should be purged from the world. There is no need to continue the cycle of abuse and treat them like they have treated me. Coexisting won’t be easy, but I have to be the bigger person and try to make the world a better place in a way that doesn’t involve what they would do to me if they could. Murder is bad and shouldn’t be done, but they do bad things to me that shouldn’t be done and that’s deemed okay, but that doesn’t make murdering them okay because doing bad things don’t make them irredeemably bad people” isn’t the kind of lesson a literal child will usually work through and come to on his own, not when he’s hurting so much and trying to give meaning to his life, hence his “I must purge the world from humanity” mission. I think this might be my best way of phrasing this yet. Do you see? Do you see how cruel and senseless it is?

I want to continue watching Stranger Things, I liked the season so much before they pulled this, but it really hurts when they make me feel the urge to type out multiple essays attempting to defend an abuse victim’s humanity to the majority who is willingfully convinced that he doesn’t deserve basic compassion. I hate how even without looking at how people on tumblr talk about him, the ambiance and text of the show invalidate him so much and make me feel the need to add a paragraph on here about how “no, I haven’t had these experiences, I can just understand Henry’s way of thinking through logical hypothetics because as an autistic who’s only autistic I have learned to put myself in others’ shoes to mask better. No I haven’t killed animals willingly and no I never have violent meltdowns” because, while true, I know it’s because I’m so scared that people will look at this post and go “Look! If she can sympathize to these experiences, she’s dangerous and crazy, too!”, because that is the atmosphere Stranger Things season 4 has built up, and because I know from experience that some people will react like this, because I will be judged and my words and experiences will be devalued for it.

I am desperately afraid of people knowing I don’t hate Henry Creel with every fiber of my being, that I like spiders too, and Harry Potter’s demonization of snakes only inspire me to preach how great they are, that I headcanon my faves to have ASPD and NPD and while it adds to their struggle it’s not treated as something to be fixed, that empathizing with morally ambiguous characters who prioritize themselves is healing to me, and that all of these help me cope with life and how rough and meaningless it is. But you know what? I know that, I aknowledge that. But I want, I choose to, stand by these things. I am against demonizing people for neurodivergence and mental health struggles when they should be getting help and compassion, and you should too. Henry Creel’s framing is actively damaging, to both stigmatized neurodivergent and/or mentally ill people who need help instead of judgement, and to the greater public who gets taught that neurodivergent people are beasts to be seen as threats to evaluate and contain. It reinforces wider ableism, as well as internalized ableism.

Episode 9

It took... Almost a month for me to do any sort of retrospective on this episode. My biggest wish was fulfilled. The show explicitely recognized that Henry was abused at the hands of Papa, too. And... It was very underwhelming. Pretty disappointing. But I got it! I can’t complain, right? Well I will anyways bc I will not be restrained.

The whole speech of “you were abused too, and you can become better it isn’t too late” by Eleven felt very tacked on, very out of nowhere, unearned and not genuine. You’re telling me that you tried to kill him like 3 times before trying to have a single convo of any kind, and in the end Vecna needed to pin you to the wall and threaten everything you hold dear for you to extend to him the barest shred of recognition of humanity and compassion and not quite believe your words even as you’re saying them? Yeah... Sure. To be honest, it felt a lot like virtue signalling Eleven being good and the better person more than really to make the characters or the audience entertain the thought that Vecna might have some good and capacity for growth in him somewhere. Once again, a scene about Henry’s trauma is more about Eleven than it truly is about him. But? As for acknowledging that Henry Creel is a victim of abuse and has gone through though shit, that’s good enough for me. But I debated a long time on if this essay should still be posted then, and I do think it should be. A small, half-hearted half-assed concession that his humanity existed at some point does not erase the framing and all the damage it has done.

A recurring thing I hate with how they did Henry is the aftermath with Eleven. Like, Henry was kind of her only ally in the place that abused her for so long? She was friends with him? They shared secrets, and some trust bond that didn’t seem wholy one-sided from Henry? And you’re just going to throw that all away and think the audience will believe there’s no remaining feelings about it? The show seems to go down the route that the reveal traumatized her a lot, so from then on she responded to Henry with immediate violence and intense hostility. If she sees him as a one-dimensional villain who manipulated her and can do no good, then she can’t be conflicted about the nice moments she shared with him, the good she thought she saw there, and the pain of losing the closest thing she had ever had to a friend. So she suppresses thinking deeper about Henry and respond to confrontation of him or the topic of him by being very hostile towards anything him. But then the last scene?? Doesn’t really work because she hasn’t undone that at all. She doesn’t sound sincere when she says it. Her back is to a literal and figurative wall, Vecna is going to kill all her friends, and now, now after trying to kill him many times over without even attempting to talk, now you’re going to appeal to his humanity? It doesn’t feel like a change of perspective, it feels like a desperate, last ditch attempt to win the war and get out alive. Which is why it feels fake af

It’s really ironic how Stranger Things season 4 really just reinforces Vecna’s beliefs. Humans are vermins who go by the survival of the fittest rule. Everyone treated Henry like shit at every stage of his life. Papa made the kids fight each other for basic needs rewards. He could flee the facility if he wanted because he was the strongest, but he wasn’t so Eleven won. Eleven was going to crush him mercilessly, but he had her by the throat, and suddenly she’s willing to allow the thought of him having a crumb of humanity.

Oh and I forgot to mention it but they used the psycho word derogatorily on Jason which... Just pretty much confirms that they don’t care about being insensitive and explicitely ableist. Jason doesn’t even truly fit most of the criterias, get it right. Jason alongside Henry is prob going to be one of the most hated Stranger Things character ever, and the writers knew that, which is why the choice of word as Lucas delivers a beating and he dies in the unleashment of the apocalypse without a spare glance all the more telling. Like, I do really hate Jason as much as the next person, but can we appreciate that the show explicitely showed us that he was grieving intensely, and how the way society behaved around Jason and people like him had a huge part in why he turned out the way he did? Get this, Jason is portrayed to have more emotional depth than Henry Creel! The bar is so low lol...

Final thoughts on the season

Ok hot take but not really, but I was lowkey pissed at how the season just, doesn’t talk about Lucas and sports at all? The show kinda implies that he joined the basketball team and everything just for the status, to be accepted and all, but does Lucas just not care about the sport at all?? Does he not like basketball?? Is he naturally gifted to have landed that winning score or did he spend many hours desperately training to have a chance of popular kids accepting him? We don’t know!! Why don’t we know when that’s like, such an obvious loose thread! I always kinda just thought that he, y’know, wanted to do basketball on the basketball team but the way it’s all done and how Lucas says smth like "I should never have joined the team bc they suck and i have u guys" in the last ep and I was like?? So was the basketball just a secondary thing to making the team or? To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with that narrative, it’s actually really compelling. But the thing is that the show doesn’t address it at all, it kinda implies it but doesn’t state anything or does anything with it so it kinda just dies a no closure death and feels off and ruins the potential when all the right cards for it were already laid out. Actually that last criticism is a common flaw i’ve found throughout the season tbh. Putting all the crumbs necessary for cool pay-off or plot twists, then just doing nothing with it or worse, dismissing them and contradicting them. Sooo are we just going to ignore Henry was abused for like, a decade and his parents wanted a doctor to fix him and apparently they’ve done terrible shit like possibly set fire on a baby or smth??? Ok yeah ig we’re just not going to address that at all until like the last 10 minutes half-heartedly maybe, also u get no deeper answers, and was Henry an abuse victim truly? Up for debate, apparently, which it shouldn’t bc it’s pretty explicity but the show likes to gaslight ig Ronance? Eddissy? Shit, we the writers def noticed the glaring chemistry but it’s too late to make changes to the script now so let’s just keep everything the same & have it both ways and never address the obvious sparks flying. Oh and let’s not ever have the main cast talk much about Chrissy or have Eddie like, grieve or talk about her at all besides self-pity and trauma? Was the whole Jason plotline really the biggest reason for Chrissy to be important? When you examine it deeper it, kinda just feels sour and stale. And I’ve got other examples but I’ll stop here, I kinda sound way too nitpicky. But point is, this season just had so many subplots that went nowhere with no closure, narratively or thematically.

The thing is! The show keeps wanting to act as if Henry is this unreasonable guy always scheming and manipulating but! He’s just a traumatized dude with murderous convictions! Convictions can be changed! The guy latched onto spiders as a kid, he’s never formed a meaningful relationship with anyone ever, never had someone to fully support him or help him through things, and the one kid he did form a connection with ends up stabbing him in the back without a second thought? How is that supposed to make him deescalate or deradicalize? How is that supposed to change his mind on being a loner and humans being beneath him? I’m not saying it was imperative for El to accept him or whatever, it makes a lotta sense she doesn’t, but I’m saying it’s no wonder how it further cements him in his way. Even in the aftermath of her killing him, he can’t let go of the one bond he’s made fully. Eleven becomes his one true rival. She’s still special. He still cares, in a weird twisted way.

So the show wants us to see the reveal and be all "omg he was manipulating her all along!!" Um, no? If you think back on it at all, you’ll see that not really. Henry gives Eleven advice to survive in the labs and try to thrive as they can. "Papa always lies", yeah? That’s true? He gives her genuine advice that works. In a way, he’s also pushing her onto becoming the top kid, and using anger and power to do so, but again, he was taught that way too I don’t think we can fault him for that, especially not if it works. That place is built on that, if agression is the response that’s rewarded in those abusive living conditions, can we fault them for playing by the rules instead of getting crushed under the others’ boots? In a way, the other kids who bully El also represent the "it’s me against the world" mentality Henry has, it’s not just El’s bullies, it’s also Henry’s childhood bullies and everyone else trying to keep him down. It’s the ones who don’t understand him, who fear him, the neurotypical bullies. Okok yeah so- Henry wants to get Eleven out. He truly, genuinely wants to. He can run away himself, but if he can help her get out, her who he sees himself in, why wouldn’t he? He was never going to mention his chip. Eleven turned around at the last moment, so close to freedom, and was like, "Wait, I want you to come with :(". Henry shows her his chip, resigned, and doesn’t suggest anything about it. Eleven thinks of the way to help him and volunteers and insists. Henry doesn’t hurry about it, doesn’t cheer, doesn’t do anything. She frees him, and he’s grateful for it, and then after carving his way out of the labs with corpses they’ll run away together and idk find life goals outside in the world. Where?? Where was the manipulation?? Bc he gave her true advice?? Because he let her free him the way she thought up of?? He never suggested anything about it! Esp since like, Henry wasn’t even truly allowed to talk to them in the labs or anything. As soon as the reveal happens, El is in a "kill as soon as possible without mercy" mode. As soon as the reveal happens, the only right way to deal with Henry Creel is to kill him, and someone should have killed him as a baby so he couldn’t have hurt anyone and become the monster he was bound to become :) OKAY

Henry is, like implied earlier, in many ways like Billy. Hurt people hurt people. The cycle of abuse. To become stronger than his dad, able to survive in his household and then stand up to him, he had to toughen himself up and put himself in his dad’s shoes of what his dad values to be able to fight against it. He had to become strong, so he became twisted. And it worked. He’s alive, top of the school and household when his dad isn’t there. To become stronger than the monster he became a bigger one. It’s survival. With Henry, it’s more to prevent further pain and abuse, but it’s kind of the same thing. "I’m broken? I’m prophecized to become the dark lord and you’re terrified of me? You want to take away my power and autonomy because you’re scared of what I might do when you mistreat me? Well, if this is to be my destiny, I’ll give it to you, and then nothing will be able to chain me back"

And you see this is what I mean by the season being weird! Because like, the shows reinforces that that’s the correct way to see him! That he is a ticking bomb and heartless monster and Eleven and the guys, our moral heroes, should try to kill him without a thought. Well, except for that 1 throwaway speech in the last ep ig lol. Again: "I relate to this spider bc people hate and fear us but we just wanna be" = the show portraying him as the epitome of evil with no possibility for good or growth and everyone ever in the show thinks that about him. Again. This is always what I keep going back to. The spider. He wants to be like the spiders. He want to live carefreely and mind his business in lonesome peace. This kid is so broken, but the thing is that when I say that, I don’t mean that he was born this way. People never gave him or the spiders a chance to be something else. They broke him.

A kid doesn’t tap into his parents’ deepest regrets and make them relieve them in some twisted sense of justice for no reason? Are we not going to talk about the kid having to see his adult parents’, who are supposed to represent safety and morality to a kid, worst misdeeds and guilt? The trauma that that would cause? That craddle on fire. If the parents had to grow emotionally detached to their misdeeds to keep the guilt from drowning them, can we blame Henry from growing detached to whatever attachment he might have had with his family? Can we blame his nihilism, him not reflecting about his actions and the damage they cause? No one ever bothered to ask what hurt him. Are we never gonna address that his parents have always wanted to fix him? And by the show’s portrayal, they’re taking the route that "Yes, Henry has something broken in him that should be fixed, but he can’t so instead let’s just imprison & kill him that’s the best and only thing you can do" I can’t express how incredibly ableist this is. Do you see why I’m so fricking mad that they used explicitely neurodivergent narratives in his origin story?? Do you see why the Henry vs Eleven parallels is, yeah, kinda cool, but narratively wise is a "dangerous scary neurodivergent vs good and useful neurodivergent, learn to differenciate them only one is valid" and how that, like, literally parallels society’s wider ableist stigmatization and the way nazis categorized autistic people into categories of who deserved to live because they were smart enough and who to kill? I was watching the origin story of Henry, feeling for the kid relating to spiders and so lonely and miserable, and as I related the show played ominous music and all about the framing was designed to make us recoil in horror at every word, so what does it mean if I’m relating when I should be intrinsically repulsed?

Damaging ableism

Killing animals and other shit he went through are things that some real, irl kids go through, and they shouldn’t be put on a kill list for it, they can grow, they’re kids. It’s called conduct disorder, and it can be helped and redirected with therapists. Conduct disorder and other maladaptive behaviors most often form from trauma and abusive living conditions. A kid’s animal abuse shouldn’t be the line you draw to judge their innate value and goodness.

These below are very real things people with stigmatized disorders and mental illnesses face in real life, and things which Stranger Things supports with Henry Creel: - Forced hospitalization and being involuntarily restrained are more common and more widely accepted. - Having their diagnosis brought up in court to devalue their testimony and stances, to support a bias against them. - All of their actions ever are analyzed under the scope that their goal is to manipulate and/or done with ill intentions. Often tied with point above. - Similarly to above, having their feelings and experiences invalidated. Having their experiences gaslighted. Being seen as abusers immediately despite whatever they’ve done if anything, and unwillingness of being seen as abuse victim themselves, despite it being one of the biggest causes of some disorders. - Having their fight or flight and trauma responses judged as an action committed with full intents and capacities and as a way to assess their innate morality. - Can’t be trusted to make any choice ever, including what is good for them and their healing process. - Denied help by professionals due to being too much of a “tough/serious case”. Denied support by most for their diagnosis alone. - Not being able to open up about their issues to anyone because they will be judged and abandoned.

Other things Stranger Things encourages in dealing with neurodivergent people who make you uncomfortable with their symptoms: - Fearing and denying support for a neurodivergent child with or without conduct disorder, both if it’s your child or a patient. - The overall, extreme dehumanization of anyone who feels or seems creepy to you. Wether it be because of behavior, diagnosis or vibe, or whatever else.

I’ve debated with many of my friends on Henry Creel’s emotional turmor and humanity. My thesis every time: that Henry Creel was a victim of abuse and deserving of a sympathetic framing through it. Every time the other started hostile to the idea, very reluctant to the idea of him having emotional depth and issues that are born from pain and hurt. Every time, they ended up conceding that the show made things out to be much more black and white than they were. My point is that when doing these debates, a large portion of their points on how Henry never deserved sympathy were either ableist or easily explained by “yeah but that was largely caused by abuse, which is what I’m asking you to acknowledge”. Henry Creel’s portrayal actively drives people to be ableist and ungenerous to him, his experiences and his pain. Stranger Things said that Henry should have been forcibly hospitalized from a young age and never trusted in the presence of anyone, he should have been controlled as soon as possible and monitored carefully and closely. Stranger Things said Henry Creel isn’t capable of growing as a person, while never extending a genuine hand of help. Invalidated, evil and wrong on every point, abused for the majority of his life, Henry should have been able to grow and become better on his own without help because he doesn’t deserve help, and even with that growth who knows if he’s “truly” good now and if he deserves to be forgiven. When Henry Creel opened up about his perspective and life to the one person he had ever trusted and liked, that person immediately recoiled and violently lashed out at them. People keep using the ways Henry reacted to trauma as ammunition of how murderous and evil he is without attempting to seeing his point of view. People dismiss the idea of Henry having any positive intentions, thoughts, hobbies or feelings ever because he “has no empathy” and “insert other ableist reasoning”. The hatred of Henry Creel is one that is first and foremost built upon the denial of compassion.

Hope?

Yeah, if there’s one thing we can always hope for, it’s better for the next season. There are a lot of spots amiss. Will Stranger Things 5 come back and explain how his mother realized he was causing the visions? Will we learn more about the guilty horrific visions of their past horrible deeds? Is there any sort of redemption or de-escalation arc that’s on the table at all?

This from the staff does give me hope. In the remaining time, Henry Creel’s character does a lot more harm to the neurodivergent community than good.

In the end, so far, the show tried as best as it could to fit Henry Creel in small square boxes. The same boxes that caused his core issues, and the same boxes that neurodivergent people don’t often fit into.

Man. Wtf were they thinking. So much cool psychology themes potential but you make Vecna one note wtf. There is so much ground for interesting themes and you choose ableism wtf wtf. Why BLACK WIDOWS?? Why with that explanation??? If you wanted to make Henry a evil emotionless dude you should have chosen scorpions dude. Like? That tale of the scorpion that sunk itself and its ally after lying with the end punch of "Why did you sting me? Because I’m a scorpion." Would have been perfect and not ask for a deeper reading. But nooo it was "black widows are misunderstood and feared when they are just amoral beings that want to live and do nothing wrong” and for some reason they truly are born monsters according to the show.

I am sorry but the narrative of "I am so alienated from humanity that I will cling onto these ugly hated bugs living in my house that were just chilling to get any sense of belonging, we’re both so alike. We’re both miserable but have the power to not be helpless anymore. To have our turn being the ones in control of who has a right to live. And I’ll channel all that bitterness and hurt into making the world free of what has brought me pain and leave it objectively better for it" is just too raw and full of hurt that I will never not have empathy for him, and I will repeat this as many times as I have to.

Okay. This is as done as I’ll get it to be I think. Jesus. If people want to debate that’s fine but tbh I don’t think I’ll respond, I’ve debated and written so much already. Yeah some of this could be worded better but like, if you need me to be Shakespear to grant compassion I’m sorry to say that your compassion doesn’t mean much... To me, now, anyways.

Like I said it’s fine if u liked the way it was executed or whatever, you do you, as long as you acknowledge the problematic, deliberate choices I’ve done my job I think. If you don’t care about the ableist treatment though we’re gonna have beef, but pleaseee I’m anti-harassment just leave me alone and we’ll be fine.

Extra, lowkey relevant video to watch if you want, to grow perspective and empathy for those you deem too far gone: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azRl1dI-Cts&ab_channel=TEDxTalks

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rattusn0rvegicus · 2 years

Text

This job is, somewhat surprisingly, a really cool blend of environmental science and art and Fun Outdoor Activities and even little bit of medical knowldge and I'm genuinely really enjoying it

On the science side of things, you really do have to know a lot about trees and how they work and how to identify and diagnose and treat them (none of which I know how to do yet lol), and there's also this sort of intuitive knowledge to it too that I don't really know how to explain, you just get up close and personal with trees a lot and learn how each one is an individual.

Pruning is, there's an art to it, I haven't done it yet but from what my trainers have described to me it really feels like you're helping shape/sculpt a tree into the best it can be and you have to get creative with how you move, it's this whole dance of swinging and climbing and cutting and it's really freaking cool. I don't know anything about pruning yet but I'm really excited to learn how to do it

Also you're helping a freaking ANCIENT LIVING BEING grow and sustain itself for generations and if that's not the coolest thing ever idk what is? Trees are so damn important to the environment from the habitats and shade they provide, to the fact that they literally help prevent flooding and environmental damage

It's kind of like rock climbing if rocks were shaped like trees. You get to climb around and JUMP a lot which is super fun, you're tied in with ropes so it almost feels like you're floating or gliding. Being roped up in a tree is just sooo different from being on the ground and it also feels a Lot safer than free-climbing bc the most you're ever gonna fall is like three feet

You really do have to get this intuitive knowledge of your body and anatomy and fitness and how your body works, how muscles grow and heal, how to stretch and warm up and recover, etc. I'm learning about muscles I didn't even know I had lmao.

Downside: There's some physics involved ESPECIALLY when it comes to throwing your rope and calculating the arcs in your mind and shit like that. This would be fun for someone who likes that sort of thing but I am just inherently bad at it lol

Also: People LOVE to watch, especially kids. Kids think it's the coolest freaking thing to see someone climbing around in a tree as their job. This is both nerve wracking and extremely adorable

Another really cool thing (from what one of my trainers told me) is that you get to work with the public and like, sometimes tell them that their Favorite Tree that they think is dying is Not Actually Dying, and being able to help nurse it back to health or give them advice on what to do or just assauge their fears in general. And it's just a profession where you get to heal living things, which is just so awesome. (Or remove a danger to human life, in the case of dying trees that need to be cut down)

I'm going to tree medical school to become a tree doctor and getting buff AF in the process

Also my trainers are like freaking squirrels up there I stg, I was just sitting there like :OOO watching them

l can't believe I'm getting paid pretty decent money to learn how to play in trees and swing around like a little monkey. This is the coolest job I've ever had lmao

#arborist adventures #Arborist #Are there any other arborists/apprentices on Tumblr??? 🥺🥺🥺#Apprenticeship #Trade school #Climbing Arborist

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1000-directions · 2 years

Text

good stuff 7-3-22

went to my coffeeshop today and it wasn’t crowded so i sat for a while and read my book and it was sooooooooo nice

i am always having to remind myself that if i wait for other people to reach out to make plans with me, i will often end up not having any plans. so in that spirit, i texted my work friend and asked if she wanted to go out to dinner, and reached out to another friend who moved away right before covid and asked about making plans to visit her this summer. the work friend already had plans, but i’m glad i asked! still working out details with my other friend, we’ll see what happens. i always assume everyone else has so much going on in their lives and they are too busy for me and they will reach out when they have time, and i have to stop doing that and i have to take initiative, so i’m really glad i did.

when my work friend said she was busy, i decided...to take myself out to dinner. i am hit or miss with how comfortable i feel doing things alone. i will go to concerts or movies alone, i go to coffee shops alone, i had breakfast alone in a restaurant a few weeks ago, but i don’t think i’ve been out to dinner alone at a sit down restaurant since i was like...eighteen, honestly. but i was looking at the menu for this place, and i wanted to try their seasonal summer menu, and i just...made a reservation! for one person!!! a lot of what i enjoy about going out is getting to spend time with someone else, so i don’t think it’s something i’ll do regularly, but it was nice to prove to myself that i COULD do it

dinner was really nice. i decided to dress up a bit because it’s a lil fancy, and i have all these jumpsuits i bought that i’ve never worn because i've felt too self-conscious, and i just decided to wear one and go out to dinner, and i did! i had a watermelon salad that was okay and some corn fritters with orange and tamarind that were AMAZING and a glass of sangria, and when the waitress brought me the check she said that i had been a “genuine pleasure” (a lot of people around me were complaining and i was just being a normal decent human but 🤷🏻‍♀️) it was just...nice. the restaurant was super busy, i was there for two hours and service was slow, but i was very patient and everything was delicious, and i’m glad i did it.

also because i was there for so long, i finished my one book (it was only okay, so i’m glad it’s done) and started AND finished another (several people are typing by calvin kasulke, very good very recommend, only took about an hour to read)

i...will put a picture of the jumpsuit behind the cut (with image description) bc i don’t wanna see myself on my dash

[image description: a mirror showing me from the neck down wearing an olive green jumpsuit with thin straps and wide legs that shows off a few inches of my ankles. i am wearing dark blue converse chucks with a large flower print and no visible socks. end id.]

#good stuff 2k22 #little victories #food cw #alcohol cw

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phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing · 2 years

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Right so I read your vill fic and the audacity the song that played on mobius's 9th birthday? when she resolved to make sure humanity would evolve past the level of her father. And now she sings it while showing genuine care to someone else, on her birthday again.

You have me sad about mobius again but you also have me thinking about how her kids love her so much, bc shes a half decent mom who respects them and their autonomy, and how that reflects in light of her resolution to make sure humanity would rise beyond her dad.

FUFUFUFUFU SOMEONE GOT IT I AM SO PLEASED

In the fic, does she remember where she heard the song? Perhaps it's but a fragmented memory, but it was quite literally the soundtrack to her rebelling against the fatality of humanity's ugliness.

Though, perhaps it's subconscious on her part (she has seen too much and has grown too cynical), what better way to rebel against cruelty, pain, loss, or evil, than to offer kindness yourself?

Despite being a scientist and numb to many things, Mobius is one of those characters who acts on emotions a lot. She saves Griseo because she loves her. She creates Klein because she loved her assistant, and she loves her ELF too much to impose on her to help or even approve of her. She lets Nuwa and Fuxi leave. She grieves Elysia. She calls Eden beautiful.

She goes so far, goes to such cruel extremes, because she fights for Humanity's survival, and...

I wrote that thought in Cling, but I'll say it again. Honestly, by that point after the seventh or eighth herrscher? There's nothing much in it for Mobius. She's already immortal. She admits to herself that she was fully capable of making sure the final herrscher couldn't kill her. Su has seen that her life doesn't go out even when civilisation itself is destroyed forever. She could disappear from MOTH and wait out the end of the world and she'd survive, but no, that's not what she wants, that's enough for her, she needs to go further, much further. She seeks truth. She's never been able to make anyone else immortal; that means she tried.

She has her own anxieties, but she's not doing it all for herself, though she wouldn't know how to, or want admit that. When asked why immortality matters she can give no answer... perhaps she lost her way, but her original purpose is pretty obvious to me. Whether it's the sim or the original, she wants to take everyone with her. Humanity as a whole needed to be free from pain and loss, no matter how harsh the path to get there.

Honestly, I love her revolt. She's very human.

Quotes under the cut

Mobius's resolution:

official:

“I will make humanity… evolve” “Whatever disaster befalls us, I will not let humans be humiliated like this.” “I won’t let them become wretched monsters…” “like you.” “…” The girl ignored her pain and took a deep breath. “That’s all I have to say. Hit me again.”

fan tl:

“I…. will achieve [evolution] for [humanity].” “No matter what kind of disaster, what kind of medication….. I won’t let them humiliate [humanity] like this ever again.” “I will never….. Let them turn into something disgusting like you….” “A monster.” “…..” The girl endured the pain as she took a deep breath. “I’m done, you can keep on hitting me now.”

Song lyrics:

official:

“Life passes in the blink of an eye, and happiness is mixed with pain and confusion…”

fan tl:

[We all pass so quickly, those so-called happy endings are but bittersweet wishes, mixed with pain and loss…..]

#mobius #honkai impact #hi3 #asks #hi3 lore #fanfiction #child abuse tw

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bellamyblakru · 3 months

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What’s going on with dk & minghao on twt/tiktok?

broooo. first off, ur so sweet for asking bc im still salty about the situation but seeing this made me happier—so i appreciate u.

ill put what i know about it under the cut bc i went off oops

SECONDLY. okay. i only read it extremely briefly before i got too annoyed to keep reading bc idiotic people are the bane of my existence 💔 BUT from what i osmosis from that was something like dk said a nickname he used to use for himself (i think?) but the translation of it in mandarin was “untalented”? so they were going off in him. (???? though why would they get made about that???) AND then they turned their anger on minghao bc he heard dk say and didn’t correct him or say something (which again. dumb.). and from the lot of them i take it it was just fans on weibo who were taking it as far as like threats to both dk and minghao??

thats genuinely my impression of what happened, but it makes absolutely no sense so im probably missing some plot—HOWEVER, people sending threats to others and their family is quite literally never okay, no matter how fucked up someone ACCIDENTALLY did. i dont mean to be lecturing you im sorry wkskdks its just what i feelin LMFAO

if this IS the gist and its correct, then i dont see how or why they would get mad at dk??? if he accidentally called himself untalented??? shouldnt the reaction be like idk comforting since this man has been putting nothing but sunshine on this earth since debut???

idk. i think so many people take shit too far and much too seriously, especially when it does nothing to impact them. just !! why cant people just be fuckin respectful and decent and kind towards people bending over backwards to make us smile and get through the shit days.

sigh sorry anon i tangent there😭 i dont even wanna know if im missing anything bc i dont give a fuck now when people start THREATENING 🤩 same shit with shua too!! why are some people so fucking toxic and think they could just bully anyone that accidentally slips in the most non threatening ways 😭😭 idols are quite literally human beings too like help

#ashley answers #anons my beloved #sorry im so bleh now

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nemjun · 5 months

Note

please tell me every detail of u and tsukasa because I am beyond obsessed with you two

would you believe I had 2 whole ass paragraphs written when i switched tabs and lost it all??? this is hell, tumblr is hell.

annyways YES OK SELFSHIP SATURDAY LETS GO, UNDER A CUT BC IM SHY AND IM GONNA BE RAMBLY. TLDR, summed up as Me and the Bad Bitch I pulled by Being Autistic

I GOTTA BE HONEST, tsukasa was not it for me when i first started the series, but i was also busy chewing furiously on senku bc he's Neat. but I was sunk after we found out about Mirai he loves her SO MUCH. big stronk man good with children is an instant K.O., i was smitten so quick.

Dr Stone is actually the first series i ever Blatently self inserted into! it was a really good fit and I felt that i could just, genuinely suit the story setting bc 1) ADHD has blessed me with sprawling random curiosities and an accumulation of trivial but Useful knowledge and 2) I literally studied archaeology for my B.A. and bc I live in Canada most of our archaeologoy is based on the Indigenous population who was still using stone technology when first contact with europeans occurred. random note for anyone who might be parusing, the 'ages of history' such as stone, bronze, and iron, didn't occur across all of civilization unilaterally, and the technology used by people is not an indication of civility or advancement of a social group. Anyways.

My real life plan for after I finished Uni was to go and teach english in asia! This didn't happed for various reasons, but it presents a good opportunity for bending realty into fitting me into the series, ehe. I genuinley think it would be really funny if I got revived by the Tsukasa empire by complete accident, busting outta the stone speaking minimal japanese and being a literal scientist by education - i was put here to cause problems on purpose. Tsukasa and I would absolutely start out as bumping heads, not quiet immediatley but as someone Anti smashing people and pro science it gets hostile fast. Arguments are conducted largely thru translations via Ukyo, who i quickly grow attached to as the only person capable of commincating in fluent english (we also have birthdays close together and I Adore that, we're birthday buddies, v cute stuff) I gotta sidetrack for a second bc as much as I love this series theres SO MUCH STUFF THAT JUST ISNT ADDRESSED AND I GET ITS JUST A MANGA BUT IM A WEIRDO. like, what about the bees??? they were just chill after having simbiotic relationships with humans for thousands of years?? sure y not. k sorry

I do wonder tho, if Tsukasa would see me as a threat to the stability of his Empire. Even with poor communication with the majority of the group, I've got a decent set of leadership skills and a lil bit of charisma, and who wouldn't like me really - esp with all the useful knowledge i can bring to the table (yes im hyping myself but its also true, i know how to do pottery and i've experience with stone tools & the types of stone you can use). I think even if he did, I'd really only get put in time out if I was causing problems, and like Taiju and Yuzuriha I might have someone keeping an eye on me. Thing's between me and Tsukasa start to change when we manage to find common ground, using him to practice japanese and finding out about his sister and his feelings about wealth etc - admittedly this was Not Well convayed in the anime, but when he's beaten up while getting seashells on the beach, the adult is yelling at him bc he doesn't want kids running around and stealing from 'his' beach. And his mom sucks too. I think that's something we could bond over, having lousy times growing up. I think he'd also be sensitive to the fact that I'm so far from Home and all my friends and Family, he's very thoughtful like that.

Man this is already reallly long and i dont feel like I've really said much, but I think when it comes down to it, Tsukasa and I just share a lot of the same values. He's strong and kind and good hearted, and that makes me feel safe. He's just very caretaker coded to me and after thinking about it the last few days, i think thats something I'm really looking for in a partner. I think I also balance him out a little bit, make him look at a bigger picture and slow down to enjoy simpler things. When we start to get along a little bit, I like to think that I'd accompany him on simple outings to forage or something, or maybe I'd be able to drag him away for a little while to show him something Neat, or getting to teach him something. He teaches me how to fight a little bit as well, so that I'm better able to take care of myself.

I think that's all I've got for now, but it's nice to sit and think about it and write it down, maybe I'll do a lil more writing over the next few days :3 OH I ALMOST FORGOT, i did a star chart love compatability thing and what I got to read for free was SO FUNNY like, he's enchanted by my whimsy lmao

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witchboyjimin · 1 year

Note

Confidently waving at you below a mountain of tissues and heart medicine bc of your last ask :D

Also my prayer better work the fuck or else imma throw hands 😤 it does make me go shifty eyes over my sent asks tho haha. Until you answer, I'm always like you better not have lost this my dude @ Tumblr

ALSO NOT YOU SAYING YOU WANNA INVITE ME TO DINNER OMG NAV LMFAO. Smooth. Did make me giggle ngl. Also we have the option of me cooking because i am pretty decent I'd say. And all I have to watch out for are things that give me problems randomly in no pattern so we're good rip 💀 however, ordering in is also awesome so I'm game for anything. What do you usually love to order in or rather, if you could choose anything, what would it be?

I'm wrecking my brain over what part of ILHDYS I enjoy the most but hm. Maybe not choosing is the more elegant way out haha. Ngl the scene just before Jungkook leaves for the human town, their fight... That one's a good one. I love when a character sorta fucks up and hurts the other character's feelings jn the heat of the moment because it feels quite real and raw.

And omg Nav, i genuinely all jokes aside had my heart warm up upon your words of gratitude ♥️ i love that i could contribute to you getting more comfortable with your writing again and that you gained confidence back. I love love love to see it ♥️ and i will shamelessly continue to do so haha.

And i am so torn (sounds too harsh but can't think of a better word rn lol) over coming off anon, not necessarily bc I'm shy but writing messages on anon like this has a certain kind of magic to it. I have such a hard time putting into words what I'm trying to say here hahaha. But i will definitely consider 😊

Question(s): what fic trope do you enjoy reading the most? And what's your favourite pet name if you do have one? Seeing as there are different ones throughout your fics.

I'm sending you hugs upon love upon hugs (if you want ofc) back and hope you take care of yourself too. I was very happy to read on your main blog that you feel better ❤️❤️❤️ and if you're ever feeling down or like you'd want to talk to someone, I'm never far ☺️

.... also forehead kiss Nav- that is lethal hahaha

- cabin anon ✨

omg yeah keeping my fingers crossed your asks come through!!! >:0 be nice tumblr!

keke ofc i was going to invite you to dinner! oooh! do you have like a signature dish? or a fan favourite that friends/family request you make? but also rip to random foods that give you allergies >:( that's truly the worst when it is hard enough trying to eat. my fav thing to eat out is....[shame spiral] mcdonald's spicy chicken nuggets. no im joking (im not), my go to take out food is actually korean fried chicken. i think i eat it like...at least twice a month fkndk what about you!!! we gotta decide what we're gonna eat at out dinner.

I ALSO LOVE WHEN A CHARACTER FUCKS UP AND THEN THE OTHER PERSON'S FEELINGS ARE HURT!!!!!!!! it's DELICIOUS! and then you just get to sit there and nibble on the anguish. it's especially nice if you, as the reader, know character who got their feelings hurt likes/loves character who hurt their feelings. good shit.

i mean it! i've been writing down my feelings more these days so i can process them/figure out mental blocks and i legit wrote "cabin anon enjoys your fic and that's enough" because i can really get in my head about being good enough which is also so dumb because i'm very lucky that so many kind people enjoy my fic. but it really means a lot to have someone like support me in this way so i really wanted to let you know how much i appreciate it and how much it's helped! i make a much more active effort to write these days. and it's 100% okay if you don't want to come off anon! whatever makes you happiest and most comfortable -3- no pressure from me. i am happy to talk to you like this and if you did come off anon, i would love to talk to you that way too!

my fav fic trope is definitely hurt/comfort. i think i love reading it because....i love getting my feelings hurt and then receiving the comfort fgjfndk but honestly when a fic hurts just right, i can like feel it in my chest and the ache will travel all the way down to my hands and it's just SO GOOD! if we get more specific, i love (as we discussed) when person a goes feral when person b gets hurt and also...guy who is insane and evil and mean but not to his love interest.

fav pet name for jimin is 100% kitten >:) i don't get to use it enough but i will change that! also love it when jk calls jimin princess. but i think in general for fic, i'm a sucker for baby/babe. you can never go wrong with a classic. i do love endearments/pet names a LOT tho! so i also love little bird/dove, love, darling, etc etc.

please tell me what you like for both questions too THANK-YOU!

keke well you were being so kind and wonderful and physical touch is my love language -3- i hope you have a great day cabin anonie ✨!! and that things are going well. i'm also here if you ever need to get anything off your mind! cheering for you!!! 💛💛💛

#cabin anonie ✨#replies

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javid-cuddles-and-kisses

Crutchie Is A Saint

lustful-kingly

21/M