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i finished the g.rishaverse trilogy, and when i say the ending had me crying my lil heart out :’ ))))

#it was a good ending really really good!!! #but it was a rollercoaster getting there and i’m really glad i pushed myself to finish it tonight :’ ) #i had to take a break from the computer bc my shoulder and wrist were really hurting #and i figured why not? especially bc i wanna start six of crows so badly #anyway i’m just rambling bc i really do love this book series and i’m really glad i started reading it 💜 #maybe i’ll end up writing a character or two from it… we’ll see asdg #get ready to ramble | ooc

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also i just have to say i love that so many muses often take the softer approach to helping chiyo step out of her metaphorical cage, but it's pretty interesting that she's often attracted/been drawn to people of a similar mindset. they shut people out so they can't see their weakness, or they hide it the best they can -- maybe they get angry when that weakness is seen. chiyo doesn't get angry, but she gets scared. she gets it. it's scary.

and i wonder if that's kind of at the root of it. she and these people understand each other, even if they never talk about it, and it's easier to grow comfortable, easier to know what to say because it's what they wish someone would say to them. there doesn't have to be a confrontation because there's an understanding. and that's got me feeling all warm and mushy :' ))

#affectionately biting each and every muse who has ever become a safe place for chiyo <3<3<3 #y'all forgive me if i end up ranting about chiyo all night... it's been a minute asdfg #headcanons | chiyoko

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" i'm not totally mad at you. i'm just sad. you're all locked up in that little world of yours, and when i try knocking on the door, you just sort of look up for a second and go right back inside. " when i say i'm YELLING!! CRYING!! " stop punishing yourself for being someone with a heart. you cannot protect yourself from suffering. to live is to grieve. you are not protecting yourself by shutting yourself off from the world. you are limiting yourself. " CHIYO BABY I'M SICK!!! " and i understood that if i kept it all up... no one would love me. a dim light in the far distance? no. to love-- i had to be there. i had to be there to be loved. " HELP MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT!!!

#IN MY FEELINGS OVER THIS NERD!!!! #that first quote punched me in the gut bc imagining her hearing that??? oh she'd be so ashamed and guilty #there's another quote where it's like ' there's a forest fire and i'm the fire and i'm the forest and i'm the spectator watching it happen #and that's her all the time #she's her own problem but awareness doesn't make it easier to stop herself and to be confronted by the results of her own sabotage #would pierce her heart so deeply so sharply #AND TO HEAR THEY'RE SAD??? that's somehow worse than them being angry ;;;;; #like the resolution to that situation would be sweet and heartwarming i'm sure but initially it's gonna be rough #i'm a mess now thanks universe ASDFG #headcanons | chiyoko #placing this in the hc tag bc i don't wanna forget these quotes :' )))

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🐝  *  ―  𝑵𝑶𝑵-𝑽𝑬𝑹𝑩𝑨𝑳 𝑨𝑵𝑮𝑺𝑻 𝑷𝑹𝑶𝑴𝑷𝑻𝑺. (  some triggering content ahead. add " + " to reverse the action.  )

[ wipe ] sender wipes away receiver's tears [ hurt ] sender hurts receiver with words [ lonely ] sender finds receiver alone in a dark room [ wounded ] sender patches up receiver's wounds [ crying ] sender finds receiver crying [ help ] sender runs to receiver when they scream for help [ nightmare ] sender wakes receiver up from a nightmare [ dying breath ] sender talks to receiver before dying [ hold on ] sender pulls receiver into their arms [ anger ] sender takes their anger out on receiver [ argue ] sender gets into a heated argument with receiver [ scared ] sender scares receiver [ sick ] sender cares for receiver while they are sick [ palm ] sender places a hand on receiver to stop them from doing something [ fight ] sender gets into a physical fight with receiver [ comfort ] sender tries to comfort receiver [ blood ] sender notices that receiver is bleeding [ collapse ] sender collapses into receiver's arms [ pressure ] sender puts pressure on receiver's wound [ slap ] sender slaps receiver in the face [ panic ] sender helps receiver through a panic attack [ lie ] sender catches receiver in a lie [ sobs ] sender sobs uncontrollably while receiver holds them [ hiding ] sender finds out that receiver has hidden an injury from them [ death ] sender just died, receiver finds out [ chin up ] sender lifts receiver's chin to stop them from hiding their tears [ fears ] sender talks to receiver about their fears [ scream ] sender screams at receiver [ coping ] sender teaches receiver some coping mechanisms [ loss ] sender is there for receiver after they've lost someone important to them [ needs ] sender asks receiver what they need [ bullet ] sender takes a bullet for receiver [ bruises ] sender finds bruises of unknown origin on receiver [ rainfall ] sender finds receiver out alone in the rain [ hospital ] sender wakes up in a hospital bed and finds receiver sitting by their bedside [ intrude ] sender walks in on receiver treating their wounds [ calming ] sender tries to calm down receiver [ inspection ] sender holds receiver's face while inspecting an injury they got [ rescue ] sender carries receiver to safety [ clean ] sender cleans blood off of receiver's body

#i'm allowing myself to reblog a meme only bc i have the urge for some angst uvu #and action memes seem easier sometimes?? vs sentence memes bc they tend to be one flavor of angst instead of a mixed bag #or i just start to get really picky asdfg #anyway i think dinner is ready finally so i'll be back later <3 #we’re gonna figure it out | memes

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i will admit that while chiyo's struggle to say " no " does result in her getting out of her comfort zone and growing, it also results in her doing things that she's wildly uncomfortable with that just don't help with anything. like i wrote in an ask that she had too many drinks with her boss and colleagues bc her boss insisted -- that's part of japanese culture, and it helped with team building, but chiyo hates being drunk in front of people she isn't really close with. maybe her peers feel closer to her now, but she'll just be anxious later, wondering if she came off unprofessional.

ngl, i'm losing my train of thought a lil here asdfg but setting boundaries is definitely something chiyo has to relearn bc she's gone from one extreme to the other -- setting boundaries that make her hard to befriend to setting too few boundaries and making herself uncomfortable. ofc she has situations in which there's gonna be a hard no, but in every day situations? she's having a bit of a hard time i think

#chiyo brain rot? yes ofc always #i breathe and it happens #also dinner is taking much longer than i expected?? i'm gonna go check what's going on bc it's somehow nearly 7 already asdfg #headcanons | chiyoko

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" i had been intimidated by the fear that if i declined something offered to me, a yawning crevice would open between the other person's heart and myself which could never be mended through all eternity " is such a chiyo quote that it makes me ill bc it perfectly explains why she feels pressured to say yes to those she wants to be close to/is close to. if she tells them no, will they love her a little less? will they resent her? will they think she doesn't like them, doesn't care about them as much? she wants to make them happy, and she wants to be liked, loved. what if telling them no jeopardizes that?

#in high school she said no a lot and as an adult she struggles between wanting to isolate herself #and wanting to reach out and hold the hands offered to her #and it makes me emotional BYE!!! #would love to write something with this in mind #and also someone gimme a reason to write chiyo crying ASDFG i have a sudden urge... a craving... a need to mess with chiyo <3 #headcanons | chiyoko

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hey hey hey!! it's been a while since i updated my pinned post, so i'm making a lil mains and exclusives call!

liking this post tells me that you would like to be mains, prioritizing interactions with each other and implying a level of comfortability between us -- basically, neither of us need to be nervous about sending memes, asking to ship, and other such things! not that any of my mutuals need to worry about any of this, but mains especially so. if you currently listed as a main/affiliate on my pinned, you don't need to like this post! you're stuck with me already <3

you do not have to speak to me regularly to be a main! i'm pretty sporadically here atm anyway. i only ask that we've written together before and kinda have an idea of our muses' dynamic ( doesn't need to be fully developed!! ), or we can take a moment to discuss potential dynamics if we've never written anything that stuck and go from there!

if you would like to be exclusives, pls comment for which characters! i'll play these by ear a little, but i'll pretty much write with one or two versions of a canon character per muse. there may be some cases in which i'm so attached to someone's portrayal that i may write with only their portrayal no matter the muse on my end, but i'll tell y'all if that happens.

to be clear, i'll exclusively write with partner a's t.engen against my k.aigaku, so i won't write with any other t.engen against k.aigaku. however, i'll write partner b's t.engen against hyouka.

#might head out in a bit to eat dinner so i'm giving this a lil reblog! #and then hopefully i'll still have the energy to write uvu i'm happy i got two asks done even if they're lil blurbs #but i'd love to write more if i can!! #get ready to ramble | ooc

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👐 also if ur already taking memes for him, from mali for arata :')

faces are gettin' squished! | @metrictita squishes arata's face!

heat blossoms along the musician's cheeks when mali cups his face ( huh?? what?? what's going on?? jeez, her hands are soft--- ) and... promptly squishes his cheeks. quickly as the nerves came, they're gone as a surprised laugh spills from arata's lips. " o-oi, lemme go! " he's reaching for mali's cheeks, squishing them, too, as if the action might force her to second-guess her choices. he can't tell if it's really working all that well ( he's never been great at reading people, truth be told. some might call him downright terrible at it ).

" if ya don't, i'll start ticklin' next! "

#metrictita #i still feel rusty with arata but i hope this was cute regardless hehe #also this just got me thinking a lil about how arata probably sometimes clarifies with mali a lot at the beginning of their friendship #that he hasn't made her mad or that she's having fun bc her expressions aren't as animated as his own or others' might be #and arata is really very terrible at reading people -- sometimes even when he knows them well #and he knows he tends to get overly excited/loud or talks people's ears off #so he's just 'pls tell me if i'm being annoying!! be honest!! it won't hurt my feelings!!' #also the panic bc mali is so pretty and arata is weak :' ) asdfg #anyway i just think they're very neat already <3 #interactions | arata

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"Chiyo, i think this is my best work yet. Even though it looks like you're in a state of panic, I still think it suits you."

chiyo didn't ask for this, but @un1awful's drawing again asdfgh

" well... " she drags the word out, not trying particularly hard to hide her smile. much like last time, she can't decide if she should be insulted as much as she's amused. " it's a marked improvement from last time, and i actually drew somethin' for you, too. didn't want you to be the only person going to all this effort. " chiyo's grin is mischievous now, looks a little self-satisfied as she plucks kurama's drawing from his hands and replaces it with one of her own.

" it sure does capture that handsome smile of yours, don'tcha think? "

#un1awful #chiyo's inner monologue: bro what's with that middle part... do my eyes look like that fr... #asdfg thank you for once again making me laugh :' )) chiyo is just 'two can play this game and i'll happily play it with you' #interactions | chiyoko #to restart this heart of mine | adulthood | chiyoko

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hey hey hey!! it's been a while since i updated my pinned post, so i'm making a lil mains and exclusives call!

liking this post tells me that you would like to be mains, prioritizing interactions with each other and implying a level of comfortability between us -- basically, neither of us need to be nervous about sending memes, asking to ship, and other such things! not that any of my mutuals need to worry about any of this, but mains especially so. if you currently listed as a main/affiliate on my pinned, you don't need to like this post! you're stuck with me already <3

you do not have to speak to me regularly to be a main! i'm pretty sporadically here atm anyway. i only ask that we've written together before and kinda have an idea of our muses' dynamic ( doesn't need to be fully developed!! ), or we can take a moment to discuss potential dynamics if we've never written anything that stuck and go from there!

if you would like to be exclusives, pls comment for which characters! i'll play these by ear a little, but i'll pretty much write with one or two versions of a canon character per muse. there may be some cases in which i'm so attached to someone's portrayal that i may write with only their portrayal no matter the muse on my end, but i'll tell y'all if that happens.

to be clear, i'll exclusively write with partner a's t.engen against my k.aigaku, so i won't write with any other t.engen against k.aigaku. however, i'll write partner b's t.engen against hyouka.

#ngl i'm still so very worn out so i'm kinda just floating around till i'm motivated to be productive #but i wanted to get this out bc it's about time that i do this! #as i said a lot of people i would already consider mains but my social battery/anxiety makes it a lil hard to reach out to everyone :') #so this just makes it a lil easier #and with this i'm gonna maybe go do some chores...... we'll see bc i really just wanna nap for 10 years asdfg #i really hope everyone's had a lovely saturday!! #get ready to ramble | ooc

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contemplating giving chiyo a f.allout verse bc the show has me gnawing at my cage, and i just think it’d be neat if maybe she was a comic artist who got her hands on printing equipment!! and had people willing to distribute her comics!! and her whole thing is making lil stories for people to enjoy, give them a lil stress relief among all the mess the wasteland offers. dunno if it’s necessarily a realistic idea or not yet? but i’m thinking uvu

#contemplated making her a vault dweller originally buuuuut i dunno we’ll see #gonna stew a bit longer #also today was just a very physically demanding day at work so i’m gonna rewatch fallout and just relax #but perhaps i’ll lurk a bit too we’ll see #either way i hope you all are having a lovely start to your weekend!! #get ready to ramble | ooc

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alrighty, so we've now got muse lists based on genre/fandom!! so dorverold muses, slice of life muses, and kny muses! chiyo will still be the main muse of the blog, but i think this set-up will be a little easier to navigate based on interest. at this point, i'm just not going to offer anyone whose muse is near non-existent ( even as a " test muse " ), so you can safely request anyone and everyone i've currently listed <3 i'll edit the pinned post and blog navi soon, and pls ignore the fact that i haven't written chiyo's kny verse description asdfg it's coming!!

#also rules have been updated though current mutuals shouldn’t have anything to worry about! #no major changes tbh #now off i go to work 🏃🏼‍♀️💨 #get ready to ramble | ooc

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links are updated, and rules are updated, too! there's nothing new that really applies to my current mutuals bc y'all know the drill, but you're welcome to take a look if you want <3

#alright now i sleep oof #just happy i'm done ;;;; #next... i edit my ding dang affiliates and mains list #i might do a post about it? bc tbh i do not have the social battery to message everyone i'd consider as a main #affiliates are easier bc they're people who are connected to characters/lore on your blog so i don't feel nervous there #but man... some of y'all are 100% mains in my head even if i haven't written you down yet #i'm just shy about asking and tbh i've needed to edit my pinned post for ages asdfg it's just now that i'm feeling motivated #anyway!! to bed i go <3 pls have the loveliest night <3 #get ready to ramble | ooc

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--- 𝙐𝙉𝙏𝙄𝙇 𝙄 𝙏𝘼𝙎𝙏𝙀 𝙏𝙃𝙀 𝘿𝙄𝙍𝙏 𝙊𝙁 𝘿𝙀𝙁𝙀𝘼𝙏. 

#peach: feeling lazy with my graphics #the graphics: still look really nice anyway :' ))) #but HEY!!! pls go check out peach and her saitama!!! she always puts so much thought and care into her portrayals #and i admire that very much about her <3 and that means you're bound to have a fun time!!! so go go go!!! #i can't get enough of these guys | promo

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alrighty, so we've now got muse lists based on genre/fandom!! so dorverold muses, slice of life muses, and kny muses! chiyo will still be the main muse of the blog, but i think this set-up will be a little easier to navigate based on interest. at this point, i'm just not going to offer anyone whose muse is near non-existent ( even as a " test muse " ), so you can safely request anyone and everyone i've currently listed <3 i'll edit the pinned post and blog navi soon, and pls ignore the fact that i haven't written chiyo's kny verse description asdfg it's coming!!

#her default kny verse will be her as a kakushi but i wouldn't be opposed to giving her a slayer verse at some point #it just might be something i'd plot with someone? bc i think outside forces would have to force her hand #being directly responsible for someone's life based on physical capability and skill is much scarier than being part of the clean up #and the medical care that follows the fight #like yeah people can die in chiyo's care but at least that's more so bc their wounds were really bad vs chiyo being weak #honestly i could ramble a lot about this but i'll stop myself... i guess... but like plot with me some day <3 asdfg #get ready to ramble | ooc #i really gotta go to bed soon weeps

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peeking in to say i'm sorry for saying i was gonna be here and then not being here!! i keep getting headaches lately that take me out of commission bc it gets really hard to concentrate ;v; even now i'm fighting one, and i wanna fight my own body for giving me so much trouble asdf but!! i'm at least working on my muse lists, so there's that :' )

speaking of which, i'm gonna remove tsugumi and miyuna for now bc it's been hard to find muse for them for ages, and until i get that muse back, i'm just gonna stick to writing chiyo and kaiya's jjk verses. those two are pretty easy to find muse for uvu i'm also going to officially add back my kny muses, with the exception of chinatsu and sei! even though i've yet to post what i've written, my muse is still high enough that i should be able to write everybody, even if i'm a lil rusty. yuzusa, kojirou, yoshiaki, and yubari will also be removed for the time being.

that's it for now!! i hope everyone's having a lovely week, and i promise to try and be here more this weekend <3

#get ready to ramble | ooc #i swear it's always something with me asdfg life is just making it hard to be active rn #but listen!! i'm keeping track of what i owe!! #so if you're waiting on something it is still coming!! i'm just extra slow rn and i'm sorry about that!! #alsoooooo certain old muses i've removed might be available by request? but just understand that i can't #guarantee the muse will be there bc certain muses are just quiet like tsugumi and miyuna and yubari even #though yubari's muse will probably bounce back eventually -- i'm just more focused on dorverold lore rn #vs what i was gearing up to do with him which was make him a modern day muse #a river deity without a river/who abandons his river/who isn't needed anymore/something like that #ANYWAY!! sorry to talk so much in the tags like usual :' ) i'm gonna get back to my muse lists #i should go to bed soon but i really don't wanna :/

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hmmm… what if you like this for a lil surprise

#get ready to ramble | ooc #i won’t say what it is but #i give y’all a lil kiss 💜 MWAH!!