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#I’m not myself right now and I need to remember that there is a me to get back to
steddiecameraroll · 2 days
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Robin is gawking at him and he can’t figure out why.
“What??” Steve shrugs.
“Repeat what you just said.”
“What? That I’d kiss Eddie?”
What’s the big deal?
“Yes, yes that.” She narrows her eyes and leans over the counter. “Since when?”
“Since always?” He doesn’t understand what she’s not grasping. “Why are you so surprised? Don’t his lips look super soft?”
“I don’t know. I’ve never once clocked the smoothness of his lips.”
“Oh come on,” Steve scoffs. “You’re telling me after months of hanging out with him, you’ve not once looked at his mouth?”
“Oh I’m sure I’ve looked at his mouth. The man does not shut up, but I can say I’ve never noticed his lips.”
“Whatever, I don’t believe you, but OK.” He shrugs because there’s no point in arguing.
“Steve, I’ve never noticed any man’s lips. Including yours. And the fact that you have is what I’m trying to explore right now.”
“What do you mean?” He feels a weird twinge deep in his gut.
“What do you mean, what do you mean?” Her voice is oozing with disbelief. “How many other men’s lips have you noticed?”
“I don’t know, I don’t keep track.”
Obviously. That would be really hard to do. He’d have to have a notepad or something in his pocket at all times.
“You don’t keep track?” Her eyes look like they’re going to pop out of her head. “Wait, so you’re telling me there’s too many for you to remember?”
“Yes? I mean, even today there was that one customer with that jean jacket and that guy with the colts hat. And it’s only 11.”
“Oh my god.” Her jaw is on the floor.
“What? I don’t get it. We talk about customers we think are hot all the time?”
“OH MY GOD!” She slaps her hand over her mouth.
“What? I seriously don’t understand what’s happening right now.”
“Steve.” She swallows before continuing. “You’re attracted to them?”
“If they’re hot, they’re hot. What’s the big deal?”
“I have NEVER thought a man was hot. I can understand how they’re attractive but me myself and I, doesn’t get it.”
“Never?” That doesn’t make sense.
“Never. I’m a lesbian. That means I’m attracted to women. What you’re telling me, so very nonchalantly, is that you, Steve Harrington, have found men attractive. In fact, you’re telling me you find Eddie Munson attractive. Do you understand what I’m saying?”
“Not really.” He crosses his arms and cocks his right hip out.
“You’re not as straight as you might think you are, buddy.”
“What?” No.
“You find more than women attractive.”
“But I’d never date a guy?”
“Oh really? Tell me, have you ever thought what Eddie’s like as a boyfriend? Or like maybe how big his dick is?” She sounds frustrated.
“Well…kinda?” He remembers that one weekend he had everyone over to hang out at the pool, and the first time Eddie got out of the water. His swim trunks were wet and clinging to his body, and Steve’s eyes clocked the outline of the man’s dick. He did wonder if the man was a grower as well as a shower. “It was only because it was like right there.”
“You’re a disaster. What about the boyfriend thing?” She tilts her head and shrugs.
“Wait, so you’re telling me you’ve never thought what it might be like if we dated? Not even at Scoops?”
“Oh my god, no! Les-bee-an,” she waves her hands in front of her body.
“Whatever, it’s not like I’ve thought about marrying him or anything. Just kissing and like how sex would work, y’know between us. If he- or if I wanted him to- which doesn’t sound bad, I’ve just never done that so I don’t know if I’d like it. Would he like it?” Steve leans on his elbows over the counter, and almost gets lost in thought over the idea.
“Now you’re having sex with him?” Robin squeals.
“How do I know if I don’t like it if I don’t try it? Maybe I’d love it. This feels like a way for me to find out.”
“I think I need a break. Don’t follow me.” She points at him. “I’m happy you’re exploring this…thing, but I’m not equipped for this. My best friend likes boys.” She shakes her head and walks away murmuring to herself.
“I don’t know that I…,” he trails off when she disappears into the back room.
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Steve’s thumbing through one of the movie release magazines on the counter when the bell over the entrance catches his attention.
“Hey, big boy.” Eddie gives Steve a bright smile as he saunters up to the front counter.
“Hey, man.” Steve closes the magazine and stands up straight. Perfect timing. “I’m glad you’re here.”
“Oh yeah? Missed me?” He leans over the countertop and looks up at Steve.
Steve rolls his eyes. This goofball. “Yes, I’ve got a question for you. Rob and I were talking earlier and she said she’s never checked out a guy before. That because she’s a lesbian, she’s not attracted to men, at all. But that makes no sense because I’ve found a ton of guys attractive and I’m straight. Maybe I’m not dating these men, but I’d definitely fool around with them. She’s lying right?”
Eddie’s staring at Steve with his mouth slightly agape. The smile is gone and Steve can see more of the whites in Eddie’s eyes, like he’s surprised or something.
“You get it, right? Am I crazy?” Steve’s heart is starting to pick up.
“F-fool around?” Eddie’s voice cracks a little.
“Yeah, like, hand jobs and making out or whatever. Maybe more? I don’t know, I’ve never done more than a blow job but I’ve thought about it.”
Eddie shoots up with a violent cough, like he swallowed wrong. He starts slamming his fist into his chest trying to catch his breath, and Steve stands there watching the guy have a coughing fit.
“You OK?” Should he get Eddie some water?
Eddie raises his finger asking for a second, and keeps slapping his palm against his chest. Steve stands there getting more and more self conscious as each second passes. After a good 20 more seconds Eddie seems to have caught his breath and gives Steve a small smile.
“Just for, uh clarifications sake, did you give the blow job or get the blow job?”
“Both?”
Who only receives and doesn’t pay back? That’s rude.
Eddie huffs and stumbles forward slightly catching his hands on the counter. He nods at Steve, then lets his head dip down, his hair falling down over his face.
“Right, obviously. Did, uh, did you enjoy it?” Eddie’s voice sounds strained.
“Yeah? Who doesn’t like sex? I haven’t done it a lot but yeah. Don’t you like it?” Is he missing something?
“Uh huh,” Eddie flips his head back and looks at Steve. “I like it a lot.”
Steve shrugs, and then watches Eddie drag his eyes slowly up Steve’s body like he’s cataloguing every inch of it. The direct attention catches Steve by surprise, and he can feel a blush spread across his cheeks.
“So, y-you get it, right?”
“Yeah,” Eddie sighs. “I just didn’t know you got it.”
“What? Of course. Doesn’t everybody find all hot people attractive?”
“Some of us,” Eddie’s voice is almost gravelly now, and it’s doing something to Steve’s body.
“Some? What do you mean?”
“Not everyone thinks like we do, Steve. Wow,” he shakes his head. “We. As in, you and I. As in you, Steve Harrington, pretty boy extraordinaire. Ohhh this changes everything.” Eddie murmurs almost to himself. “How did this, uh, topic come up with Robin?”
“We were talking about you, but hold on.” Steve waves his hands around. “Not everyone? You’re telling me that not everyone is attracted to everyone?”
“Me?” Eddie ignores Steve’s question. “What about me? You were talking about me?”
“Yes, I said you had kissable lips but go back. I don’t understand. I can name five guys right now who agree with me. I mean, two of them had girlfriends when we messed around. In fact, Stacy was there one time. She only watched but like, what are you saying?”
“Kissable lips? You think…? Wait, five? You’ve had a threesome?”
“I don’t think it’s a threesome if she didn’t get involved. Right?”
“Riiight, ok wow. So you’re straight, you say?”
“Yes, why is this so hard to explain? I figured if anyone would understand it would be you, because you said you’re bisexual. So you’re actually attracted to men and women as in you’d date them both.”
Eddie blinks at Steve a few times before nodding slowly. “Right, cause that’s what that means. Um, is Robin still here?” Eddie’s looking around the store now trying to find the woman.
“No, she had the early shift.”
“Ok, well, um so I’m gonna go home and blow my brains out, but uh if you want to…,” Eddie taps his fingers on the counter. “If you want to come over later and find out how soft my lips are, let me know.” He slaps his hand in the counter, and turns away heading toward the door without glancing back at Steve.
“Um, OK.”
“See ya, Harrington.” Eddie throws his hand over his head and pushes himself through the exit.
Steve shrugs and scoops the magazine back into his hands. Maybe he’ll get to see how soft Eddie’s lips are around his dick.
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papayadays · 1 day
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lucky
summary: lando norris x uni/f1-engineer! reader gf - where you’re both lucky to have to each other
a/n: very self indulgent, second piece of writing posted! holy mac n’ cheese balls, 2,600+ words!
warnings: none, fluff, surprises, shenanigans, language like once?
“congratulations, graduate class of 2024!” your grin grew wider as it sunk in that you had officially graduated with your masters degree. you celebrated with close friends and family, cheering and taking loads of pictures before you felt two arms wrap around your waist. “lan!” you exclaimed, turning around to face him. “you’re here!”
a week or two ago, lando had told you that he wasn’t sure if he was able to come, considering mclaren needed him at the factory that week. you obviously reassured him that the team came first, but you would be lying if you said you weren’t thrilled that your boyfriend was here. another great part of graduation was that the paparazzi couldn’t follow lando in, though you hoped your classmates would have the decency to not take pictures as well.
“i’m so, so glad i could make it,” he mumbled into your neck before pecking your lips. “you just got your master’s degree! i’m so proud of you, love.”
“thanks,” you responded, a giddy grin on your face as one word flashed in your mind. perfect, everything was perfect. “i’m so happy you’re here for this. i know i said mclaren comes first, but right now, i’m glad that you’re with me. i love you, lando.”
he gave you his radiant smile that you had grown so fond of. “i love you too, y/n.”
.:*:.
later that evening, you were hunched over your laptop on the sofa while lando was playing some games with his mates. you were applying to some jobs, with around 15 tabs open.
you heard some footsteps after you uploaded your resume for the third time, and a head rested on your shoulder, brown curls falling into your peripheral.
“whatcha doing?” lando asked.
“just applying for jobs,” you replied.
“which teams have you applied to so far?” you had wanted to become an f1 engineer for as long as you can remember, and lando knew all about your aspirations.
“hm, let’s see, rb, mercedes, and aston martin,” you said, showing your boyfriend your screen.
“no mclaren?” he pouted, making you laugh.
“i’m getting there, don’t worry, lan,” you chuckled, clicking onto the mclaren website.
while you were doing that, lando commented, “y’know i could ask andrea if there are any travelling jobs available.” you scrolled through the jobs, frowning at the small number of vacancies.
“there’s not really anything,” you answered. “the tyre engineer looks like the only thing for my skill set, honestly.” lando leaned over your shoulder to get a better look at the job description.
“hey, that’s a travelling job!” he smiled. “i can talk to andrea, put in the good word for you and-”
“lan,” you interrupted. “i know you mean well, but i want to get in by my own means.” lando opened his mouth to protest, but you continued, “it would be amazing to be able to travel with you, but i need to be able to get in by myself. i need to know that i can still make it independently. i really hope you understand.”
“of course i understand,” lando sighed, a small smile of disappointment on his face. “you know i only want the best for you, love. it’s just that i could finally do something meaningful with my status, but that’d be giving you an advantage, so i’ll back off.” he finished by pressing a kiss to your temple.
your heart melted at your boyfriend’s actions; he wanted you by his side, but he put what you wanted first. “thank you, lan,” you smiled. “but fingers crossed i’ll get hired anyways.”
“luck? you don’t need that,” lando responded. “you’re smart, kind, beautiful, and amazing.” with each adjective, he pressed a kiss to your face.
“you flatter me,” you said, laughing.
“it’s true!” lando protested.
your gaze softened. “you know you’re the best, right, lando?”
“eh, you can say it again.”
.:*:.
you were travelling with lando to the mtc because you were “going to the race” with him, but really, you were there for your first day of work.
a few weeks ago, you had gotten emails from mercedes and mclaren, saying you got the job. however, you wanted to surprise lando, so you only told him about mercedes, telling him you were going to work for the silver arrows.
his disappointment almost made you change your mind, but it was going to be worth it to surprise him. ahead of time, you had reached out to oscar (well, mostly lily) and asked if he and zak could help you surprise lando. surprisingly, (but also not), they both agreed with eagerness, which you suspected was because your boyfriend was very lovable.
once you arrived at the mtc, you and lando walked around, getting an extra-warm welcome from zak, oscar, and lily. you introduced yourself to lily, for it was the first time you two had met in person, all of your previous contact being calls or texts.
“where and why have you been gatekeeping her, lando?” lily scolded, immediately wrapping you in a hug. “it’s so nice to finally meet you in person. now, we can finally ditch lando and oscar.” you gave her a smirk, leaning into her side as the two of you grinned at your boyfriends.
“this is exactly why,” lando scoffed. “hands off my girlfriend, even you, lily.” the aussie pouted before giggling, and everyone in the room knew she had no intentions of leaving you alone, nor did you want her to.
“anyways,” zak started, sending a quick pointed glance in your direction. “lando, you’re needed on the sim. oscar, lily, wanna chat with y/n?” personally, you thought it was too obvious but nonetheless, your boyfriend went along without question as zak ushered lando away to another mclaren employee before turning to the three of you. 
“okay, so here’s the plan, we’re going to show you to your office, give you the teamwear, and then bring in lando for the surprise. i’ll go to lando and you two show her to her desk. you know what to do if we need to stall,” zak stated. lily and oscar nodded solemnly, and you almost burst out laughing at how serious they were taking this.
“i’m so excited you got the job!” lily gushed, linking her arm through yours as the three of you went to the offices. “we can spend so much time together now.”
“she still has to work,” oscar pointed out, amusement on his face. “by your reaction, it almost sounds like she did all this for you.”
lily gave her boyfriend a conspiratorial glance. “maybe she did,” she smirked.
the aussie driver sighed in mock-annoyance before turning to you. “but in all seriousness, i think lando will love this surprise.” you thanked him, grinning at the prospect of the surprise about to unfold.
the couple stopped by an empty desk with the teamwear folded. “alright, so this is your temporary desk for now, since you’ll mostly just be travelling,” oscar explained.
“this is surprisingly well planned out,” you laughed, knowing who was likely spearheading this ‘project.’
“zak was really invested in this,” lily chimed in, confirming your suspicions. “let’s be real, he’s been waiting to do this to one of his sons.” you snorted at that.
“anyways, i’ll be right back,” you said, leaving to change into the clothes. while in the bathroom, you also put your hair up into a messy bun to throw off lando even more.
when you came back out, only lily was sitting there. “oscar went for some last minute meeting,” she explained, getting up so you could sit. “and lando and zak are on their way, so i’ll need to leave so he doesn’t think it’s you.”
“great, thanks so much, lily!” you pulled her into a hug. “catch you later?”
she nodded with a smile before turning and walking, leaving you alone. however, a minute or two later, you heard footsteps and voices behind you.
“lando, i need you to talk to one of our engineers real quick,” zak said, but you didn’t turn around. not yet.
“sure, what’s up?” you heard lando say before you turned around. you smiled as you saw your boyfriend’s jaw drop, rushing to hug you.
“i- what, how?” he sputtered. “i thought you were going to mercedes, baby.” you gave him a mischievous grin.
“it was all part of the plan, lan — wow that rhymed — i just didn’t tell you about mclaren,” you explained. “and then zak, oscar, and lily helped me distract you, which wasn’t a hard task.” lando sent you a pointed look before pecking your cheek.
“i’m so proud of you, y/n,” he beamed. “i’m beyond happy right now. wait, does this mean you can travel with me?”
“yeah.” you nodded, not prepared for when lando leaned forward, pressing his lips to yours. as you felt him smiling, your own lips began to curve upwards too.
“alright, we get it, son,” zak commented, amusement on his face. “please don’t show too much pda, please.” lando gave him a salute, goofy grin on his face as his green eyes met yours.
“you have no idea how much this means to me, love,” he said softly, reaching for your hand. “and i’m so happy for you, and us.”
and so, your first day in f1 was a success.
.:*:.
it had been about a year since that eventful first day at mclaren, and you had enjoyed the ride since. now as you stood in the garage, watching as lando passed the chequered flag in first place for the first time, hand clapped over your mouth. you had left your usual spot with the telemetry to go stand next to his parents. cisca wrapped an arm around you as you cheered, headphones still on, while adam had tears in his eyes as he stared at the screen with pride.
it had been an eventful race. opening lap was chaos, with three cars retiring just from turn 1. after that, the sun started beating down on the track, making tyre degradation rather high and the heat affecting driver performance. places were being gained and lost constantly, and strategies were all over the place. despite all the drama on track, your boyfriend stayed level headed and calm as he lead the pack. of course he did. you had stood nervously to the left of will, glancing at the telemetry of the tyres.
lando was losing pace in the tyres, and fast. you could see the visible graining and the lap times increasing, and the gap to second place was shrinking quickly. he needed to pit before his tyres truly dropped off.
“i think we need to pit for mediums,” you had stated, earning a questioning glance from the race engineer. “we’re in the latter stages of the race, and if we pit, we’ll only drop one or two places, so then lando can use the faster tyre to overtake and then manage for the rest.”
you consulted a bit with the rest of strategy before telling will, who was now on board with the plan. the pit stop was smooth, the crew doing a wonderful job, and sure enough, lando was leading again after a couple of laps.
now, you were pulled out of your cheering and blissful state by zak. “y/n!” he called. “that was some amazing call. i think you should go on the podium.”
despite your heart leaping at the words, you pushed it down, shaking your head. “surely someone more important like will should go,” you stated, ignoring your temptation.
“how about we ask lando?” zak proposed with a sly grin, knowing damn well what your boyfriend would say. he turned on the radio, asking, “lando, who do you want on the podium with you today?”
“y/n,” he replied with no hesitation. “i mean obviously, thanks to the whole team for everything, but she’s the reason for my win today, and beyond that, she’s been my rock throughout everything.”
“well then,” zak said, turning to you with a smug expression. “i guess that’s settled.” you grinned back at him, unable to contain your excitement anymore.
rushing with the rest of the team, you waited by parc ferme, leaning against the metal barriers as the papaya car pulled up in front of the first place, flanked by a red bull and another mclaren.
lando took his time getting out of the car, letting it sink in. then, he got out, standing on top of his car, fist pumping and pointing a finger towards the sky. jumping off, he made his way to you first; he always found his way to you.
you pulled him in close, lifting up his visor and kissing his helmet. suddenly, lando reached up and took of his helmet, pulling you in for a real kiss. you felt the pride, elation, and everything with that kiss, sparkles tingling along your spine. “lando, baby,  i’m so fucking proud of you,” you said, eyes meeting his. “this is your moment to shine, and i’m so glad i’m here with you. i love you so much, lan.”
“i love you too, y/n.” he didn’t have to say it back with the way he was looking at you, but god, did it make the moment even better.
as lando was whisked away for the interview, you were ushered behind to get ready for the podium, where max and oscar were already waiting.
“y/n!” oscar smiled. “you’re going onto the podium? lando’s request?”
“yep,” you nodded. “zak and lando insisted even though i said will or someone else should go.”
“you deserve to be here,” oscar protested, making you grin. “you’re our tyre engineer, after all.”
“thanks, oscar,” you responded. “congrats on the podium as well!” the aussie thanked you, but you hardly heard it was another person walked over.
“lan!” you exclaimed, rushing towards your boyfriend. you felt his arms wrap around your waist, pulling you towards him. “that’s my race winner!”
“thanks, love,” lando replied, and you would feel the vibrations in his chest. “it honestly feels so surreal and amazing.” just then, all of you were directed to start entering the podium, with oscar going first.
eventually, it was your turn, butterflies starting to flutter in your stomach. as you stepped out onto the podium in front of the crowd, your breath caught in your throat. it was absolutely breathtaking and so gorgeous. the cheers of the crowd and all the fans and team members were something else.
and then they called lando’s name. you cheered as he walked across, pumping a fist to the team before his eyes met yours. the british anthem started playing, and you felt your heart swell with pride and happiness as you watched your boyfriend smile and take in the moment. he noticed you watching and gave you a wink that left you blushing.
once the music was over and the trophies were handed out, lando grabbed the champagne bottle and smashed it against the podium, turning towards you and drenching you. you tried to fight back, but to no avail, laughing as you gave up.
after the little celebration, you and lando went behind the podium and cameras with the champagne and trophies in hand. you held out your bottle for him to clink. “to us,” lando stated.
“to you and your amazing win,” you corrected before taking a sip. afterwards, your gaze met your boyfriend’s and something made your heart skip a few beats. maybe it was the sparkle in his eyes, or the pride you felt, but you were just so overwhelmingly happy. 
“y’know, i’m so lucky,” you started. “to experience this with you and to be your girlfriend. i love you so, so much, lando.” as you smiled up at him, his expression almost melted your heart.
“i’m the lucky one, love,” lando protested, threading his fingers with yours. “you’re so amazing, kind, and always there for me. i think the stars aligned when they brought us together.”
you leaned forward, pressing your lips to his. “i have to agree with you there, lan.”
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Another adorable Jonmina thing I noticed (and I’m going to keep noticing them) is that Jonathan was definitely being put into some kind of trance by Count Dracula when they’re on the way to the castle. The endless stops, the circling back, the wolves, etc. I don’t know exactly how, but I think it was to lull Jonathan into a state of exhaustion or panic he couldn’t get out of so he’s more susceptible to suggestion and doesn’t notice anything off about his surroundings at all. Or he does, but he’s too scared to fight back against it, it’s unclear to me which (I’m sure y’all have a better idea!).
For the most part it works except…that’s right, folks!!! He remembers Mina again.
“Was this a customary incident in the life of a solicitor's clerk sent out to explain the purchase of a London estate to a foreigner? Solicitor's clerk! Mina would not like that. Solicitor—for just before leaving London I got word that my examination was successful; and I am now a full-blown solicitor! I began to rub my eyes and pinch myself to see if I were awake.”
Remembering Mina, while it doesn’t take away his fears entirely, does make him pinch himself to wake up and remind him why he needs to get out of there. Plus, it keeps him observant enough to notice that the Count and the driver almost seem like the same person…hmm. He might’ve noticed it regardless, but who’s to say?
Also, I find it cute that he remembers her in a sense of her hyping him up like “no Jonathan!!! You’re a solicitor now! Give yourself the right title.”
Just…THEM!!!!!
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I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend
brief summary: james potter just wants to be regulus black’s boyfriend, pursuing him in the same way he did lily. how does regulus feel about this?
[jegulus/starchaser/sunseeker; you can find this on my ao3]
credit for dividers — @enchanthings
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James Fleamont Potter wasn’t that needy. At least.. he didn’t think he was. He was a man of needs. A man of talent. And a good looking man at that.
He was the popular guy of Gryffindor. The one that knew everyone. The one that everyone knew. He threw parties and pranks, got immense love from the teachers, and could always get the girl or guy.
But Regulus Black was different.
Regulus didn’t let James “get” him so easily. He made him work for it. And that made James hold on. Keep going. Keep trying, just as he had done for Lily.
“He wouldn’t date you, Prongs,” tutted Sirius Black, dramtically sprawled out on top of Remus Lupin, who was too busy reading his book. “You remember what happened with Evans, don’t you?”
James shuddered, “I’d rather not embarrass myself again.”
Sirius shook his head, laughing. “Good choice, mate.”
Remus finally finished the chapter, sighing softly. He glanced at the two, raising a brow. “What are you lot on about?”
“Prongs keeps trying to go for my little brother. Which I still think is incest.”
“It’s not incest. I’m not blood related to you, Padfoot.”
Remus chuckled, “Tell me the story again, James. I’m listening this time.”
James groaned, laying back down on his bed. With a lot of hesitation, he nodded.
“It all started a couple months ago. I had finally figured out my love for Regulus-“
Sirius snorted. James threw him a look.
“-Anyway. I had joined this small Slytherin study group, thanks to this sweet Hufflepuff. Regulus was in it, so I was hoping to catch up with him after studying. But he’d always leave early. These two white-haired twins would pat my back — which was kinda weird now that I think about it.”
Remus closed his eyes, rubbing his temple. “Get to the point.”
“Right. Sorry. I finally got him once, after Potions. We have that with Slytherin? Erm.. I asked him if I could walk him to his next class. He obviously said no, but I guess I looked convincing enough that he didn’t retaliate after I stayed. Whatever.. I began asking him about classes, interests, and whatnot. Oh sweet Merlin, his voice was music to my ears. He wouldn’t talk at first, but damn when he did?”
James kicked his feet in the air, earning a laugh from Sirius and a chuckle from Remus.
“Then, I asked him, like I did many times already these past weeks, if he wanted to hang out sometime or be my boyfriend. He answered with a no, but I could’ve sworn there was some hesitation there.”
Remus nodded, brows furrowing in thought. James was head over heels, worse than he had originally thought.
“What should I do, Moony? You’re the love expert, aren’t you?” James pleaded, sitting up on his knees.
“I thought I was the love expert,” Sirius pouted, going to pretend-sulk in Remus’s chest.
“I think you should stop asking him to.. y’know.. be your boyfriend and try to be considered his friend. Make your way up.”
James considered, then nodded. It’ll be hard to keep those feelings down. “I’ll try, Moony.”
Those words he had uttered echoed in his mind. I’ll try.
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Meanwhile, Regulus Black himself was screaming into a pillow. His friends, Barty Crouch Jr, Evan Rosier, and Pandora Rosier, sat on his bed in different positions.
Pandora sat upright, close to Regulus and patting his back. Barty had his legs kicked up on the bed, shoes and all. Evan was leaning against the bed post, sitting partially on the bed.
“What is it now, Reggie?”
“HE ASKED ME OUT AGAIN!” he groaned, voice muffled by his pillow. “AND I SAID NO. AGAIN.”
Barty rolled his eyes, nudging Regulus with his foot. “At least you know he’s going to try again. I mean.. he’s been doing this since last year or so.”
“It’s okay. You can always ask him out yourself. He’s head over heels for you,” Pandora reasoned, drumming random beats on his back.
“What if he doesn’t?”
“Oh, believe us, we can tell,” Evan scoffed with a laugh.
Regulus sat up, holding a pillow to his chest. “I think I love him.”
“No shit, Sherlock.”
“No..- Actually. I want to ask him out. The next time he asks me… I’ll say yes.”
The three glanced at each other, then back at Regulus. “Are you sure? You won’t freeze up again and say no?”
“I won’t.”
Regulus looked determined, and silently prayed and hoped that James would ask again. He’d say yes to him. He was like the sun to his moon, touching on every rare occurrence. They’d show them. He smiled softly, something that he hadn’t done in a while, and held the pillow up to his face with another groan.
“I wanna be your boyfriend. I wanna be your boyfriend,” his voice sang in his mind, making him smile grow.
Whatever you say, Reg, the group thought simultaneously, whatever you say.
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Simple fear
Sam/Trans!Masc Darlin
A gift for my Darling Brother @prince-damien-of-darkness
TW:⚠️Shots⚠️vulnerability⚠️fear⚠️trauma⚠️
This is mostly fluff but you can never be too careful
Description: Darlin gets their T Shot for the first time in so long! But they have a problem…Maybe Sam is the solution!
Authors note: this takes place after Sam and Darlin’s first “hanky-panky” session but before they move in together 
*Ringing* “Sam Collins” “HEy Sam…” They cleared their throat attempting to swallow their nerves, but to no avail “You OK darlin?” “yeah, I’m d doing fine w why do you ask?” “the voice crack and long pause is very tellin’ darlin’. also, you calling me on a Friday evenin’ ain’t the most normal thing..so what’s up?” pinching the bridge of their nose they take a deep breath “…you know how I told you I used to take testosterone injections?” “yeah..but you couldn’t afford it anymore because you were off the packs insurance. I remember” “yeah well David helped me sort out stuff with the insurance and I can get my injections again..” “well, that’s great darlin’! But um… you don’t sound too happy about it” “Well it’s not that I’m not happy about it. It’s..embarrassing..” “Embarrassing?”
“yeahhh well, the testosterone comes in the form of a shot” “Why would a shot be embarrassing?” “…” “……Darlin I can’t help you if you don’t use your words” “..I’m terrified of needles” “Pardon me?” Sam could hear shuffling around on their end “You heard me! shots, needles, injections. I hate it. I fucking hate it” “Darlin..don’t you have?-” “Tattoos? yeah yeah, I do. BUT they were given to me by Ansel when I was unconscious in high school. Hell throughout my childhood the only way I could get any shots was to be strapped down or sedated” Unbeknownst to them just as they said that. Sam was already making up a duffel bag and getting ready to leave for their apartment
“And you called me because you want me to help you with your shot?” “…yes. AND I know it’s stupid AND I know it’s rush hour but I promise I’ll make it up” “It’s not stupid. It’s a fear and fear is human…..and believe it or not you are human in that sense” They paused for a moment and signed “damn you Samuel Collins” “damn me? for what?” “..for making me be nice to myself” “Yeah truly criminal. Hey, can you let me in?” “what do you mean let you in? I-hold on HOW ARE YOU HERE??” They swing open their front door and see Sam standing there duffel bag in one hand and, a grocery bag in the other “Sam!” they wrap their arms around Sam‘s neck and kiss his cheek. the feeling of his scruff against their lips, sending them into a smile.
“How you holding up Darlin?” “Well now that you’re here. I’m doing fine, Great even~” They pulled Sam closer till their noses touched “Hi Sammy~” “Hi Darlin” “I love you~” “I love you too..what I don’t love is you trying to distract me from helping you. come on let’s have a seat on your couch” Darlin groaned and went back inside their apartment, following closely behind. They both sit on the couch and Sam sets the grocery bag on the coffee table. Darlin looks at it in confusion before turning his attention back to Sam “You’ll get to see what’s in the bag in a minute. Right now, I need your attention on me” There’s that tone they were all too familiar with. Sam gets this way about him when he’s healing/helping his mate. A Way that makes it feel like it’s them and only them. “do you want me to hold you for a minute before we start”
They nod and straddle Sam’s lap resting their head on his shoulder. He wraps his arms around them and gently glides his fingertips up and down their bicep
“So what about the shot is making my big bad wolf nervous” “That’s the thing….I don’t know” “Hmm?” “I’ve always been like this. Even when I was little my folks had to take me to a special enpowered doctor so I could be magically restrained” “Why were you restrained?” “You gonna make fun of me” “Darlin have I ever made fun of you for somethin’ like this?” “No…” “Then spill” “….I would get so nervous that it would trigger my shifting when they would give it to me….” Sam takes a minute to process before speaking again “and they restrained you?” “Yeahhh” “ignoring how ethically fucked up that is. What do you want me to do to make this experience better for you?” they nuzzled into Sam’s neck.“This is nice…I like hearing the sound of your heartbeat…is that weird?” “Darlin. if it helps you, it’s not weird…here set up for a second”
they sit upright and Sam reaches for the bag off the coffee table “I know a guy who takes a shot like this only difference is his were for migraines. Sometimes his partner would help him..” he opens up the bag and takes out a small cardboard box, a Pack of tissues, and a box of Band-Aids, as well a the paper pharmacy bag with his mates shot. setting them in the spot next to him.
“I’m gonna have you snuggle in real close. Nestle your face in my neck like you were doing…and I’m gonna give it to you ok?” “Sam I don’t want to see the needle” “You won’t. I promise” they look into Sam’s eyes. Then nod. “alright snuggle in real close get nice and comfy” They adjust themselves. Wrapping their around Sam and burying their face in his neck. giving a few quick kisses whilst getting cozy.
Once they assumed their position they let out a sigh of relief
“you doing alright darlin?” “Yeah” “I’m gonna start prepping the area now” just as Sam promised. Their vision was obscured. Only being able to tell what’s going on from the sound of packaging being gently torn open. which was just barely audible over the sound of soft humming in their ear. They felt him rub a slightly cool alcohol pad in a small circle on their thigh. They knew what was coming and started to tense up.
Sam kissed their temple and ran his hand up and down their bicep just like before.
“I got you darlin,” he says against their skin. Sam hummed a bit louder than before. their muscles relaxed again. Nearly entranced in the sound.
He tightened his arm around them “alright darlin 1…2..-*CLICK*” with only a tiny yelp from his mate. The shot was done. Sam places it in the sharps box he had next to him and quickly cleans the wound placing a Band-Aid over it.
He carefully reaches down and props up the couch footrest. Then wraps his arms around his darlin.
“you alright darlin?” he felt their lips smile against his skin and start kissing all over his neck and jaw. he laughs and pulls them closer “I’m gonna take that as a yes” “Thank you Sammy~” “What are you thanking me for? I just gave it to you. You’re the one who took it” “That does seem to be how it goes often for us, huh?-” “Alright ya menace relax” Mischievous laughter escapes them as they sit up to greet their mate face-to-face “ok. but seriously thought..Thank you for this it means a lot” “A fear, especially one as intense as yours is a really vulnerable thing. I’m honored that you trust me with it” “I wouldn’t trust anyone else” They lean back down to kiss him, his hands wrapping around their torso, pulling them closer. “mmM- I have one more request!” Sam raised an eyebrow slightly caught off guard by the sudden interruption “All right go ahead darlin…What’s your request?” “….can we cuddle some more?” Sam smiles and leans back in his chair “I was hoping you were gonna ask” A big smile spreads across their face as they lay down on their mate's chest. Sam kisses and snuggles the top of their head.
“I love you Darlin” “I love you too Sammy…so fucking much”
——————————————————————
Moral of the story
This is probably bad
I’m sorry if it is
Also sending all the love to my fellow trans masc’s out there y’all are amazing and handsome and brilliant. I love y’all
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cyberkinks · 1 day
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𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑︙ 𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐊 𝐋𝐄𝐄 {M}・♡ [old draft]
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⤷︎︎ 𝐢��𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞𝐬, wom!reader, boyfriend!marklee, angry yet calm mark, confrontation, dominant mark, kissing, sexual intercourse, him pleasing you in the best way, him being gentle, aftercare.
⤷︎︎ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬, use of foul language, use of pet names (maybe), misspellings (maybe).
⤷︎︎ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞, angst, smut, fluff, non-idol au.
⤷︎︎ 𝐬𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲, you told mark you were staying at a friends house which he didn’t mind but he later finds something out and confronts you about it the moment you came home.
⤷︎︎ 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐥𝐚𝐢𝐦𝐞𝐫!, this is for entertainment purposes only!
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: ❛ hello everyone! i know it’s been a minute and i apologize but i hope you enjoy this oneshot as much as i enjoyed writing it especially since mark has been bias wrecking me a lot recently hehe but love you all, muwah. ♡ ❜
𝐚𝐝𝐝 𝐨𝐧: i thought about him with his blonde hair while writing this. 🤭
⤷︎︎ 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐨𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝?: no. unedited.
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𝐘𝐨𝐮 opened the front door to the apartment you shared with your lovely boyfriend, 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐤 and closed it back silently. as you were about to walk off towards the bedroom, you heard the lamp light that was on a table by the couch being clicked on which startled you and made you turn around, only seeing that it was mark.
you placed your hand on your chest, taking a deep breath “you scared me, babe.” you chuckled before walking over to him. he took a sip of his water from his glass cup before sitting it down on the coffee table “where were you tonight, y/n?” his voice was soft yet stern “I told you I was at 𝐛𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐧𝐞𝐲𝐬, don’t you remember?” you tried to walk off but he stood in front of you “y/n, don’t lie to me.”
you frown at him “I’m not lying babe, I was at “ “I called her and she said she hasn’t seen you since last week.” he says interrupting your sentence and you gulp at his statement. “so, I’m gonna ask you again…..where were you tonight?”
his eyes stare into yours waiting on the truth from you as his arms fold “I was at a bar with 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞, now can I go?-“ “Why were you at a bar, y/n?” “I just wanted to go out and have some fun is all, is there a problem with that?” you were kinda annoyed at his behavior “No but what I’m not understanding is why you lied.”
you sigh “maybe it’s because I know you’d act like this, ever thought of that?” he steps closer “I need to know where you are at all times in case something happens to you, y/n. I’m trying to protect you.”
“Mark, I’m not a little girl, I can handle myself” “I’m aware but what if one day you can’t? what if something serious happens? huh?”
he has a point. it’s getting more dangerous out there and lying to him isn’t the best idea. he gets so protective that it annoys you but you also understand why.
“you’re right, I’m sorry for lying.” you fiddle with the promise ring he gave you. mark sighs before apologizing “I'm sorry too, I just…get paranoid.” you cup his cheek, smiling at him softly “I understand and I won’t lie about where I am anymore, okay?” he nods as his hand goes up to yours that was on his cheek, intertwining his fingers with yours.
his eyes glistens as he continues to stare into yours before leaning down and pressing his lips softly against yours, kissing you gently.
his hands went down to your hips, pulling you closer as you held his face kissing him back with the same passion. your lips melt into each other, deepening it a little more as he tilts his head to the side.
your hands went to his neck as he moaned out little noises along with you.
the kiss lasts for a good 20 seconds before you both pull away staring into each other’s eyes. he removes his hands from your hips and grabs your hand, leading you towards the bedroom. you watch him admiring his back frame, tugging on your bottom lip.
he opens the bedroom door and lets you walk in first before closing it behind him. he then grabs your face and kisses you once more, mumbling how much he loves you between kisses.
the way he treats you was more than enough. he truly loves you unlike any other guy you were with and you start to notice that in this moment. he’s never gotten mad about the smallest things, he just wants to make sure that you’re okay and happy, he was the person you've been searching for, you’re just happy that you never took his love for granted.
you smile into the kiss as your hands rest on his shoulders “I love you too.” you mumble against his lips before kissing him again. you felt his hands travel down to your jacket, taking it off your body and throwing it on the floor.
your hands trail up his arms and onto his shoulders, deepening the kiss. your body starts to burn with passion and desire as your tongues dance with each other.
he soon pulls away gently and gazes into your eyes before softly pushing you onto the bed. his eyes never left yours until his hands slid underneath your dress and tugged at your underwear and he looked up at you for approval to slip them off and you nodded.
with one swift motion, he pulls them off and drops them on the floor before pulling your dress back and dipping his head between your legs. he opens your legs wider and carefully licks at your wet slit which makes you gasp in response. your hand goes to his hair as he starts to fully pleasure your folds, humming against you at how good you taste to him.
his lips wrap around your sensitive clit, sucking on it gently. one of his hands left your thighs and two fingers were now inside of you, thrusting slowly as his tongue laps at you clit, sucking it from time to time.
“mark..” you moan out softly which was like music to his ears. he loves hearing how good he’s making you feel, it does something unspeakable to him. his eyes open and looks up at you who was watching him. your hand grips onto his hair harder pushing his head deeper and he lets you.
mark pace increases and starts to pump his fingers into you quicker and his tongue laps faster at your clit. soon. his fingers replace with his tongue again, eating you as if this was his last meal.
your back arches off the bed as he pulls you closer. he grunts lowly against your folds, deepening his head on his own this time. “m-mark!” your moans start to louden while your other hand grips onto the bedsheets. gasps and pants leaves your mouth. he tongue felt like heaven.
you close off your eyes but open them again to watch as he finishes you off. your legs were shaking on his shoulders. his pace quickens more as he grinds against the bed, eager for you to finish on his tongue and you do.
your body shakes from the orgasm, breathing heavy as you lay back down on the bed. he continues to lap at your clit helping you with your orgasm until your body cringes from it. he then climbs between your legs and softly presses his lips against yours, kissing you with passion.
he grinds himself against you teasingly as his lips trails down to your neck. your hands tugs at his shirt before slipping it off of him. his hands went down and pulls his sweats down, revealing his hard and thick cock.
“Are you ready for me?” he asks to make sure that you’re comfortable and you nod.
he places himself at your wet core and carefully slides himself inside you and you both gasped. you felt so full. he leaned down and started to kiss on your neck, letting you adjust to his size before starting to move his hips against yours at a slow and steady pace. the way he stretched you made your mouth fall open.
a soft moan escapes your lips as you grip onto his shoulders, closing your eyes enjoying this moment. his hands pins down your legs against the the mattress, continuing to roll his hips into you.
mark looked at you. “ready for more?” his voice was soft. I nodded but he didn’t take it as an answer. “use your words for me.” you closed your eyes at the feeling of him, slowly rubbing against your folds. “yes.” you whispered softly.
his thrusts became sharp and quick. his hands gripped your hips tightly, biting down on his bottom lip. you gripped his shoulders harder, gasping at his change of pace. he pulled your body closer to his, nuzzling his face in your neck. his lips were leaving soft kisses all over your throat and collarbone.
the way your tight cunt was vibrating around him made him grunt against your neck. the sounds you were making ignited the fire inside him. mark wanted to make you scream and cry out his name. he removed his lips from your skin and tightened his grip on your hips. his pace changed again and you felt him pounding into you, groaning. "Fuck, you feel s'good, princess," he whispered and his head went back.
"Can't get enough of you." he groans. "Mark." your hand went to his biceps, gripping him firmly. you were dripping wet for him. "Mmph, it's all yours," you whined softly. "All mine." his speed quickens. your eyebrows knitted together in pleasure, your boobs were moving in sync with his pace and your hair was spread out on the pillow underneath you. that was his view and he loved it. he loved watching you. he loved watching you take him. it was breathtaking.
he grabbed your legs and gently lifts them on his shoulders before pinning your legs down against the mattress.
his hands squeezed your legs tighter, rutting more and more into you until you came onto him. your body trembles and shakes as he slows down his pace.
your eyes rolled back as your back arched from the bed. “fuck!” you cry out, throwing your head back on the pillow as your mouth flew open.
he panted heavy as he leaned down, gently kissing you. you kissed him back while gently moving your hips. he slowly moved his hips into yours, making sure not to hurt you.
mark presses kisses along your collarbone and jawline before trailing back up to your lips. “I love you.” he whispers against your skin. “i love you too mark.” you pant.
“now, let me make you cum.” you said before switching positions with him. you were now on top and he was on the bottom.
“you’re so naughty.” he says as you lift your hips. “you know that right?” you giggled before replying. “of course, i know.” you gently sunk yourself onto his cock, whining out as you place your hands on his chest. “You’re so big!” the stretch is always amazing.
“All for you.” he whispers.
𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒 © 𝐚𝐭𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐬.
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Pretty As A Picture - Chapter 5
Marvel
Pairings: Steve Rogers x Reader x Bucky Barnes
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Summary: When Bucky fell from the train, their soulmate was told he was gone. When Steve Rogers disappeared into the ice, their soulmate was again told one her soulmates were gone. But she didn't believe it. Couldn't believe it. Committed to a mental health institute, she dies of a broken heart. That's at least what the hidden S.H.I.E.LD files say, but if that's the case than why is there a photo of her. A photo that shows her side by side two redhaired Avengers.
Warnings will be per chapter.
For this fic reader will be British, but let your imagination replace if needed.
Chapter Summary: Where are you? What does anyone know? And is Nat unfairly getting the blame?
Chapter Warning: Mentions of mental health, death, loss, electric shock therapy.
Wanda’s eyes went wide and she snapped to look at Nat.
“Have you seen this? Have you seen this before?”
Natasha shook her head.
“You never showed me this Steve. Why wouldn’t you show this to me? To any of us?”
Steve sighed.
“Honestly, it hurt too much. Every time I look at it, every time I look at her, see her face. It feels like my heart is being crushed. To everyone else it’s seventy years, for me, well, it’s not. I look at it and I can smell her perfume, hear her voice, feel her. The chances of her still being here were small. When I was first given a stack of files from Fury, some of you were in them, so were Howard and Peggy, but she wasn’t. When I asked Fury, he didn’t know who I was even talking about, and if anyone could find anything it was you or one of you. This is all I have of her and I couldn’t risk losing that.”
“But you realise that this would have helped us look right? Sure there’s nothing from then but if you’d have shown Nat this, or Clint? It would have been ‘oh hey, I know her’ but instead you’re giving Nat shit. That’s not cool Cap.” Sam replied.
“This is all we have. The evidence shows she’s dead.”
“That’s her Steve.”
“I know Buck, look, I looked for her myself once I’d got a hand on the technology. There was nothing until that file and I gave you all a very clear description and…”
“Now hang on” interrupted Clint “you think hair and eye colour are a good description. Rogers there’s billions of people in the world, and you’re questioning us?”
Steve remained stoic. Bucky however, couldn’t seem to get a reign on his emotions. This was a chance of him getting his girl back, he wasn’t about to hide things.
“He was scared.”
“Buck!”
“Tony’s right. After everything that’s happened, everyone, including you and me, promised no more secrets, no more lies. You were scared Steve, hell, I’m scared too. What if she doesn’t want me after all these years, after all I’ve done.”
“Bucky”
“No Steve, I know you. If you’d have given Nat, Tony, any of them that picture, it would have been ran through every single database in the damn world and I’m pretty sure Friday or Tony could have aged her, taken into account any changes to her appearance, part of you was scared. Scared that if she was around, if she’d survived from back then, that she’d be old, wouldn’t remember you like Peg or that we’d have put her in danger again.”
“Aliens came out the sky Buck.”
“Exactly!”
“I had no reason to not believe Peggy.”
Seeing the conversation becoming heated, Tony decided at this point to step in.
“I’d like to add something if I may. Peggy Carter was my godmother and I knew her as well as you can when someone is your parent’s friend. I never heard them speak about your soulmate or any other female agents, map girls, just each other, you two, Phillips and the Howling Commandos. So all of this, deleting her, behaving like she didn’t exist was to keep her safe. If their truth was to out when Peggy died then it would be neatly put together just like this. If there was anything else, it would be in her file, if there was a clue to anything else it would be here in Peggy’s handwriting. I want to help you Capsicle, and you” nodding at Bucky, “but I need everything and I need Friday to scan that photo, you don’t need to move it, none of us need to touch it but we need it.”
Steve nodded and Bucky uttered a quiet ‘please’.
“You all saw that right, he nodded. I’m taking that as consent. F.R.I.D.A.Y get to work, scan the photos on the table and capture all the info in this file. Romanoff, gonna need her info.” Tony stood as projections came up over the coffee table that sat between the sofas they were all sat on.
“Freelance British Agent 21. Code name White Knight.” Said Nat.
“Why is it locked?”
“You have to high level clearance according to the screen.”  Vision pointed out.
Tony gasped in mock horror.
“Well most of us are still on the naughty list. Friday scan Rhodey for access.”
“Access denied Boss.”
“Access denied. What? I’m on the good list!”
“Boss none of you will get access.”
“Unless” Romanoff started “you have an access login given to you by the agent herself.” Nat typed in her phone and projected the result to go against the others.
“Just to loop back around, earlier the contact you were talking about, it’s her?” Asked Tony.
“Yes. Does that matter?” Natasha asked.
“No, but unless you haven’t noticed I’m incredibly nosy.”
Clint snorted with laughed. “Oh you and Y/N are going to get on like a house on fire.”
“Nat don’t let the two of them spend too much time together.” Laura added.
“Why not?” Steve and Pepper replied at the same time.
“World domination springs to mind.” Clint muttered.
“Oh I definitely like her already. Ok, Friday, what do we have?”
“The results are inconclusive boss.”
“What? What does that mean?” Asked Bucky.
“Break it down F.R.I.D.A.Y.” Tony replied.
A fresh batch of projections displayed.
“Examining the facial features, matching the structure and identifying marks, is a 100% match but her DNA and genetics test show she’s not of the age of Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes soulmate would be.”
There was sighs around the room. Vision spoke first.
“It’s unlikely that the testing could have been tampered with due to the secure way it’s taken.” Vision pointed out. “Although her last testing is past the usual repeat time.”
“How is she still working if she’s missed testing? It’s a requirement for the health check.” Rhodey added.
“Must of been busy.” Clint said, trying to brush past the comment.
Bucky watched as Nat seemed to find an interesting spot on the meeting room carpet that she couldn’t take her eyes off, Bruce rubbing circles on her knee. Clint was now looking off screen, Laura had disappeared.
“OK, what is it you’re not saying?” He asked.
“Who you talking to Buck?”
“These four. Bruce, Nat, Laura and Clint, you’re not lying but there’s something you aren’t saying.”
F.R.I.D.A.Y interrupted.
“Boss, we’ve got a visitor.”
“Well, don’t let them in.” Tony instructed.
“Sorry boss but it’s Deputy Director Hill and she’s used her pass.”
“Wilson, your booty calls here.”
Sam shook his head.
“Actually Boss, she’s here to see Agents Romanoff and Barton.”
Before anyone had time to comment further, Maria entered the room. Tony acted quickly, minimising the screens that displayed their soulmate, wanting to respect Steve and Bucky’s privacy.
“And what brings you here Hill? That isn’t Sam’s sparkling personality?” Tony asked getting him a swat from Pepper.
The team shook their heads at Tony’s poor joke. Maria didn’t even flinch or react. Her lack of reaction causing everyone to turn to look at her fully.
Her eyes were blood shot, face damp from tears and she looked liked she hadn’t slept in a week. The enhanced in the room could smell the coffee she’d clearly been living off, along with a faint hint of scotch. Steve would guess one glass, thirty minutes ago.
Pepper stood first, nearest placed to Hill. Sam also stood to go towards her.
“Maria what is it? What’s wrong?” Asked Pepper. She held her hand up to stop them going further.
“I’m here in my role as Deputy Director of S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Romanoff and Agent Barton as….” She paused and swallowed hard.
“This isn’t a mission is it?” Sam asked.
Maria lowered her head and took a breath, when she looked up, she locked eyes with Nat, who was now also standing.
“Shall we do this here or in private?”
Nat had a horrible feeling. A feeling deep down in her stomach that this was the worst kind of news. She had seen Maria in this state twice. Once when Coulson died (or so they thought) and the same when Fury had (or so they thought - again). Clint spoke before Nat had chance to reply.
“Just spit it out Hill, so I know if I need to get on the jet or not.”
Maria glanced at Nat who nodded.
“According to our records and that of MI5 and MI6, you are registered as next of kin and the emergency contacts of Freelance British Agent 21, code name White Knight. As my role of Deputy Director of S.H.I.E.L.D I’m here to inform you that 50 hours ago, during a covert mission for our agency, Agent 21 missed her checkpoint. Due to the evidence found two hours ago, she is now declared as missing in action, presumed dead."
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jellypawss · 1 year
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I’m going to be very transparent for a sec. I’ve had two alcohol induced psychosis events happen to me in the past week where I attempted to harm myself and ended up talking to police officers. I’m a recovering alcoholic that tries really really hard but keeps relapsing. I’ve tried AA and therapy and nothing is helping because they keep telling me to look for “my higher power” and I’m not gonna lie, in my opinion, that shit is wack. I’m struggling a lot and faith is the last thing on my mind. Anyways, I wanted to make this post to thank y’all for being one of the main sources of happiness and support for me. I don’t get a lot of people outside of this community that reach out to me when im hurting so im very grateful to have y’all in my silly little phone. I promise I will be back to making mods and what not soon but I’ve been really enjoying making music, it feels almost therapeutic. But yeah, thanks for being here for me y’all. I love you guys.
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starbuck · 3 months
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crazy how i can be so stressed and upset and then suddenly i remember that *I* am in control of my emotions and then i can physically breathe the stress out of me and i’m fine.
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mxfortune-teller · 4 months
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Tw for lots of mental health stuff in the tags. Special tw for self-harm talk
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cozycryptidcorner · 1 year
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“I’m not good enough for-“ so practice. “My skill level isn’t where I want-“ so start practicing. I know it can be hard to find motivation when it seems like there are so many people who are beyond your skill level, who are better than you at the thing you love. But you don’t compare age, or Instagram followers, or lifestyle, or anything else but the amount of time you both are putting into nurturing your skill.
Instagram really is out here pushing people into a “I’m not even close to being that good so why even try” but you will get there if you do try. You have to try. You have to push yourself out of your comfort zone and do things you are not good at to get better.
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voiceshearingyouloud · 8 months
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I was feeling extremely suicidal today, like the worst I have in maybe four or five years now, and I was deliberating over whether I should go to the hospital like pretty much all day and now that I feel better I realise that the moment I started drafting my suicide note in my head was probably when I should’ve decided that 😭
#it’s so hard to think logically in the moment though; and I didn’t want to worry my dad or my partner#even though me killing myself would hurt them more obviously lol#I’m glad I feel better though#finally at like 5pm after doing all the chores and getting dressed and making meals and napping and going outside and exercising and calling#people and watching my favourite things#and none of it made even the slightest difference#(and I was drafting my suicide note)#I was like alright I need to do something about this because I’m gonna get exhausted and lose the fight pretty soon#which is always how my suicidality has been#I’ve never made a plan I’ve just come very very close to being worn down by the constant obsession and just giving in#which is hard to explain to ER nurses!#anyway. as soon as I decided that it instantly was like a cloud went away so that was weird as hell and I still don’t get it but at least I#don’t want to die as much anymore!#I’m seriously good now; like just normal sad and tired#but it does scare me that it took me so long to decide to go to the hospital#cause that was really cutting it close for a while there 😬#I don’t trust myself to get it right the next time. but hopefully I’ll remember this and just go#anne speaks#now I’m just dying over how hilarious it was that I was literally drafting my suicide note and still was like hmm I wouldn’t want to worry#my partner so I don’t think it’s wise to go to the hospital.#like girl?? what???#suicidality tw#tw suicidality#suicide mention#suicide tw#tw suicide#all the trigger tags cause this post is pretty graphic lol#but anyway I’m totally safe now#wouldn’t want anyone to worry if you’re the type to worry about this#:-)
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cuteniaarts · 24 days
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Fanny, my sweet, beautiful girl
17.11.2012 – 14.04.2019
#my art#artists on tumblr#I cannot accept that it has been 5 years already#I know covid messed with everyone’s sense of time but it simultaneously feels so much longer and so much shorter than that#exactly five years ago I was holding onto my mom for dear life and sobbing as we watched lilo and stitch together#not the best movie to watch when you’ve just lost your first ever pet you know#and then I cried myself to sleep at the next morning we never mentioned her again#I know it’s because it was way too painful for everyone involved. but I do wish I was allowed to process that grief properly#instead of bottling it up and pretending everything was okay until I was reminded of her#feeling like my heart was being shattered over and over again every single time#well anyway. enough of that. I’ve allowed myself a nice long cry today and got most of it out of my system#and once I was feeling okay I decided to draw her#and I can count the number of times I’ve drawn animals on one hand so.. I’m not too sure about the result#but it felt like to commemorate her in some way.#so yeah. here she is. my dear girl. the best dog in existence. she was always so affectionate and kind#which I didn’t always appreciate bc of how young I was. when you’re a kid it feels like pets will live forever#never barked. never bit anyone. her only crime was chewing on my mlp and lps toys that I left out on the floor#but I’m grateful she did that. it taught me not to leave my toys lying around and to clean up after myself#she really was taken from me way too soon. ideally she could still be alive right now. but I’ve been down the road of guilt and regret#there was nothing I could do. I was a child. I can only hope that she knew she was loved right until the very end#even if I didn’t know how to show it properly. and great. now I’m tearing up again#I suppose it’s unavoidable. April 12th will always be a melancholy day. and maybe that’s not such a bad thing#it’s good to have a day when I can freely remember her and cry if I need to. it’s healthy. it’s better than crying every day#she never liked it much when I cried. always tried to comfort me. that’s the kind of dog she was. I miss her so much#when I move apartments and get a dog of my own I’m getting a spaniel. just like she was#well. maybe a different colour so I don’t end up sobbing every time I look at it. but spaniels really are the perfect breed#I mean. cavaliers especially were bred for love and warmth. that’s just what I need. it will be nice to have someone waiting for me at home#and while I don’t necessarily believe in the afterlife… I do hope that Fanny’s watching over me#spiritually comforting me when I feel all alone in the world. it’s a nice thought for sure#and hopefully she won’t mind me getting another spaniel too much. it will be done in her honour after all. to make up for my past mistakes
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akkivee · 10 months
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sometimes???? i get a little worried that rosho’s been written into a corner development wise i guess??? like i was thinking to myself the pre 2nd drb stuff focused on 2gumi; jiro finding his own path and reason to fight, juto gaining some closure on the death of his parents and partner, gentaro revealing some of his chuuoku cards, hifumi and honobono, rosho standing up to sasara and jyushi standing tall against the people who brought him to that point
and with most of these i can see direct path of further development but i’m a little stumped on what rosho’s progressing on coming into this next arc lol 🤔
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rosicheeks · 3 months
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Been thinking about you hon, missed seeing you around. Glad to have you pop up in my feed again ❤️
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#thank you so much for the kind message#idk how much I’ll be on right now tbh#I’m struggling a lot#I know I say that all the time#but it’s been bad like really really fucking bad lately#today has been especially bad because of my period and my emotions and hormones or whatever being all whack#might just be my period talking and how whack my brain is right now#but I’ve been seriously thinking about admitting (committing? idk the right word) myself to some sort of hospital#I don’t know where to go or look at…. I just want to go into some hospital and be like ‘hi I’m extremely mentally ill and I need help asap’#but I don’t think it works like that#I would talk to my parents about it but I already know what they’re going to say#99.99999% sure they’re going to say something like ‘well have you been praying?’#trust me i WISH praying would magically heal me but it doesn’t#anyway I was hanging out with a friend today and we watched a show and I barely even remember what it was about#the entire time I was thinking about how to get myself into inpatient or some sort of help#also freaking out that I’m almost 26 and then I’ll be off my parents insurance and feel like it’ll be 10x harder to do anything like that#I just don’t want to live like this anymore#everyone else is growing up and doing things with their lives and I’m just the same old depressed girl with nothing to show for my life#I’ve been surviving which is good don’t get me wrong#but when I die I don’t want to be like ‘wow what a good life I really survived well’ 👍#anyway thinking about texting my sister and asking her to help me but I don’t want to be a burden or anything#lol forgot I’m probably going to get criticized for bitching in the tags so I should shut up#anyway I’m very very very unhappy#and I’m going to go eat some cereal now ✌️#ask#anon
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seilon · 1 year
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sudden vivid memory of being 14-15 years old and daring to wear knee-length boy’s shorts to a local summer festival in one of my first public acts of transgenderism and despite that being the most mundane thing on earth (especially considering I was still not allowed to cut my hair at that point so i by no means looked mistakably like a guy or anything) being verbally torn to shreds to the point of sobbing by my mother upon getting home because I was apparently making myself (and her by association) look bad and being a flagrant humiliation in front of my friends’ parents. i guess sometimes i forget how scarring and often terrifying simply Existing as a trans kid was lol
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