#all the trigger tags cause this post is pretty graphic lol

[suau-projectmatriarch]

[WARNING: This blog includes a lot of swearing, blood, and graphic descriptions of gruesome violence. It is a more r-rated fan fiction with some graphic art as well. If that stuff triggers you, please take care of yourself and either block my account or ignore it, I won't be offended.] Project Matriarch Master Post

Author: Azureang3l Hello! Welcome to the Project Matriarch master post, where I will post links to the chapters, reference photos for all of the characters, basic info, etc! [LINKS BELOW] GENERAL INFO Project Matriarch is a written Steven Universe AU fan fiction [with some art here and there] set after SUF where Steven and the Crystal Gems face a new kind of enemy, the very people they tried to protect Brief description of the AU in question is on AO3 and in the blog description! I will post the chapters here as well as on AO3 [LINKS BELOW] No set schedule, more focused on quality and health and life stuff rather then quantity I've had an ungodly amount of formatting issues trying to make fancy indents in AO3 and on here so- I'm just gonna format the story how I format it on AO3 to save me some sanity lol

TAGS Au Tag: #su au project matriarch Ask Tag: #PM asks/replies Chat Tag: #azureang3l rambles ASK RULES Feel free to ask me and the characters questions! But there are some ground rules and info I gotta put into place first - Keep things SFW - You can give characters things! [no promises I can draw said thing very well though] - The minimum amount of characters that can be questioned at a time will be 2, cause otherwise it would get overwhelming pretty quick - You can ask personal questions and be mean but, just a warning, some characters probably won't respond very well- - I will avoid answering questions that spoil the story REFERENCE SHEETS [More to be added]

CHAPTERS - CHAPTER 1: Medicine [AO3 Link] - CHAPTER 2: Sieze [AO3 Link] - CHAPTER 3: Split [AO3 Link] - CHAPTER 4: Test [AO3 Link] - CHAPTER 5: Hello [AO3 Link] - CHAPTER 6: Gone [AO3 Link] - CHAPTER 7: Remembrance [AO3 Link] - CHAPTER 8: Team [AO3 Link]

#steven universe #SU AU Project Matriarch #digital artwork #su au #fanfic #ao3fic #masterpost #my fic #steven universe alternate universe #my art #writing

[theharrowing]

"writing some of the darker themes is always going to evoke some negative feelings and invite controversy, but for those of us who find it cathartic, i think it can be very warm and healing."

wow lol what a playful way to say you like to write about rape, murder and abuse. please seek therapy.

friends, sorry i can’t post content warnings before messages, but you can see what this one deals with. my response doesn’t have such blatant language, but feel free to skip this post if it makes you uncomfortable. 

hello, darling anon! thank you for taking the time to write such a concise, thoughtful message! it always brightens my day to hear from strangers online who clearly have no experience with my actual body of work, nor knowledge of who i am as a person, and who hide behind anonymity and self-righteousness.

funny you should assume that i have not sought therapy, but you may be surprised to find that those from whom i have turned to for counsel have told me the very opposite, and have had some pretty interesting, deep conversations with me about catharsis and nuance.

writing and reading about darker topics is cathartic to some, whether you like it or not. it's fine if you disagree, but you can literally just scroll on without complaining. it's actually free of cost to curate your space in a way that feels safe for you and only engage in content that you feel safe engaging with.

i am reminded of a really thoughtful twitter thread on this topic, and i will post some individual tweets from that thread here, with links to each tweet, starting with this graphic:

(image link)

You do not "own" trauma. Some random stranger is NOT "romanticizing (your) trauma" when they write about or draw fictional characters in a traumatic situation. In many cases, the person is writing about THEIR OWN trauma using fictional characters. It has nothing to do with you. (link)

You're gonna see triggering things online. That's how the internet works. It's like Russian Roulette. Even if you utilize mute and block features, sometimes things still slip through the cracks and you see triggering stuff anyway. It's a risk that comes with using the internet. (link)

So the fact that people are complaining about fanart and fanfic - THINGS THAT ARE USUALLY TAGGED - is infuriating to me. You see that the fanfic has triggering tropes in the tag? Don't read it. You see an art tag that upsets you? Mute the tag so you won't see it on your tl. (link)

The internet is not a true "safe space." There's no way to 100% safety proof the internet to your specific comforts. I'm not saying this to be cruel. I'm just being realistic and practical. You can't blame others because your personal trauma was triggered by a random thing online (link)

If you see triggering content online on accident, that sucks and I'm so sorry that you experienced that. But it is not anyone's fault. People are allowed to post (nearly) anything they want online (especially in fandom spaces when fictional characters are involved)- (link)

It's not your fault either, especially when you take precautions like using muted terms. It's just an accident and the nature of the internet. And getting angry and upset at random strangers isn't going to help anything. (link)

You're allowed to feel discomfort ofc. But this misplaced... entitlement? Anger at others for posting fictional content? That isn't it. That's not the way to deal with that. (link)

It's a waste of energy, first of all. Good luck trying to get people to stop posting things that upset you. It's a lost cause. No matter how much I dislike (certain tropes), this is the World Wide Web that billions of people have access to and people will post that thing anyway- (link)

So it's better to just - as best as you can - let it roll of your shoulders. It is literally impossible to stop people from posting the thing (especially in fandom) so instead, switch your energy to seeking out things that you know appeal to you and bring you good feelings. (link)

You see something triggering? You close the window, take a moment to yourself, start fresh and find something that is more appealing or healing to you. Feeling discomfort or being upset is fine. Trying to go on some crusade to stop it? It's just not practical, I'm sorry. (link)

Being angry about others posting certain fictional content is like being disgusted by seafood and going to a restaurant and getting angry and upset because the diner the table next to you ordered fish. You are at a place that can and does serve fish. (link)

It's not practical to get upset at them about it. You can be annoyed or irritated that now you had to smell fish during your dinner. But you can't be angry at the restaurant or the servers or the other person for doing what they are allowed to do in that space. (link)

Also - you can complain about it, I guess! My issue is y'all need to stop demonizing people who are into darker FICTIONAL themes and who tag their content. You can dislike their crap yeah but stop acting like they're literally Satan and stop blaming them and fiction for abuse. (link)

...i think that sums up, pretty well, my thoughts on the matter. and, again, if you disagree, that is perfectly within your rights. but accusing folks of romanticizing something awful (which is what your message felt like) is...silly. grow up. hide tags, mute words, block me! it's really so easy.

thanks for the message, sweetie! have a great night!

#not so lovely anon #fanfic discourse? i guess? #we can talk more about this is you want to #but as a survivor i might get defensive #you've got mail 💌

[chronusbled]

alright kiddos we doing things nice and simple here for now. pretty comes later. rules under readmore, starting muse list is here ♥ once i get more bios actually written out, will set up a proper page for them all 

sup? the name’s TAE and i’m 32 years old. this means there WILL be adult themes on my blog, but things will be properly tagged as  [TRIGGER] // or NSFW // as a general catchall. i try to cover the main triggers and topics, but if i miss anything please let me know and i’ll make sure to tag accordingly. this also means that i unfortunately work a full-time job that can take anywhere from 40 - however many hours they want out of my week thanks to mandatory overtime. i hate it but the check is fat. as such this blog is going to be considered low-activity but i tend to find myself lurking often.  THIS IS A PRIVATE MUTUALS ONLY BLOG. i made this blog to help reduce stress and anxiety from my old main blog, mush as i dearly love it. i will not interact with anybody i do not follow, and most of who i follow will be friends, friends of friends, or people i’m genuinely interested in writing with.  Also for my own mental health, I DO NOT DEAL WITH DRAMA. any hate sent will be deleted on sight and blocked if possible. i try my hardest to not hurt or offend anybody or cause people strain, i ask the same be done to me. i’m too old to be dealing with high school shenanigans again.  I’M A SHIPPING WHORE. legit. i can and WILL make ocs just to ship with some of my friends, platonically, familially, or romantically. idgaf. all my ocs are considered multiverse / multiship unless otherwise stated in their bios or in a pinned post i plan on making in the near future !! want to ship? i’ll have seven headcanons for them at the ready as soon as you express interest. this is a threat and a promise.  i tend to prefer chatting and plotting over discord for ease of access ( and because i can type on my phone while i’m working lol ) but i don’t mind dms and ims here! i’ll just be a bit slower. i’m also down to rp on discord if you are, though my replies do tend to be much shorter for a faster paced rp experience there, but if you’d like to do something heftier i can do my best to match length ♥  AS AN OC-MAIN BLOG, I’M VERY OC / CROSSOVER / FANDOM FRIENDLY. most of my ocs start(ed) in the rwby fandom, but can very easily be adapted to suit almost any verse / may already have a verse set for other fandoms of interest. just ask! if they don’t have a verse already, i can quickly whip one up if i’m familiar with the source material. drag me into your fandoms, i’m begging you. for those interested, my main fandoms are RWBY, GENSHIN IMPACT, RDO, and ORIGINAL LORE.  any graphics on my blog / google docs do not belong to me unless otherwise stated. however i DO often draw my ocs. pls dont rip my art apart for i am soft ;lkj i don’t mess with passwords so there isn’t one here, but if you’d like to show that you’ve gone through my rules please like this post. tysm and i hope you have a good day, my lovelies! ♥

#RULES. #OOC.

[twistytwine]

Ivan & Oliver: Differences in Viewing Their Disorders

So all of a sudden I’m in an Ivan & Oliver mood and idk why lol

But!! Anyway, I think they’re pretty different as people already, both in appearance and mentality. But I wanna write more about them + their disorders and how they handle them. Kinda wanna get all the info down so I don’t just plaster “they have Tourette’s/OCD” onto them and leave it at that.

(I’m not sure how to tag this tbh but please ask me to tag this post with any trigger warning you think fits!)

Oliver’s 28 years old. He works as an online professional graphic designer. He’s made several signs and symbols for companies and small bands, though he’s never drawn them out on paper, other than the times where he drew them out simply to make a draft. As a kid, he wanted to paint buildings and museums, but most of his dreams were crushed due to job applications being turned down. He didn’t want to put a ton of self-doubt on himself, but he was sure that the reason why he got turned down so much was because he had Tourette syndrome.

His family had always supported him. They were a very rich family that got plenty of therapy for Oliver, and because of their wealth, they also were able to afford someone to teach him at home. But because of this, Oliver never knew how to socially protect himself from peers. He never got the chance to actually defend himself from bullies and harassers because he stayed inside all the time. Now, his insecurity and reclusiveness span into his adult life, where he, too, stays inside most of the time.

His Tourette’s has gotten under more control over the years due to him becoming an adult, but he still hates having it. Most of his hatred comes from his older brother, Ivan, who tormented him when they were younger. He bullied Oliver because of his obesity and Tourette’s, and even though it stopped eventually when they got older, Ivan never actually apologized.

Oliver’s tics are more physical than vocal, and the reason why he works digitally a lot is so he can press the undo button on the art program he uses in case he has a tic as he draws. A lot of his tics are mostly shoulder-jolting, teeth-grinding, grimacing, and grunting. He listens to mostly instrumental music because if he listens to lyrical music, he has a chance of repeating a set of lyrics from the song as a tic. He may be having a conversation with someone when he suddenly sings, “Dancing with a stranger” from Dancing With A Stranger. It embarrasses him greatly because he’s afraid of people thinking he’s joking around when it’s an uncontrollable thing he does. Many have mocked him before by singing along with whatever his vocal tic was, making him more stressed and thus causing more tics to occur.

Meanwhile, Ivan is 36 years old. He works as a businessman, but he’s not a business boss. In fact, his actual boss treats him a little bit like shit. Not many of his coworkers actually speak to him because they find him “weird” or annoying. Truth be told, Ivan can be rather snobbish, arrogant, and critical of people, but he’s not coldhearted and he doesn’t even realize he’s genuinely hurting people. He doesn’t like getting into arguments, either. Overall, though, he can be a genuinely nice person. It’s just that if you become more than just a stranger to him, you might be exposed to his uptight and rude behavior.

Ivan usually wakes up at 3 AM in the morning in order to not be late for work, which starts at 8:30 AM. He has a very specific schedule for himself, and if he’s not at a certain point at a certain time doing a certain thing, he’ll become extremely anxious and gradually irritated. He wakes up this early because he really wants to prepare himself for work due to his boss’s high expectations. He wants every day to be perfect and to work out for him entirely.

He gets up and does his morning stretching for around five minutes. Then he gets his uniform (they are always neatly folded in his drawer because he takes the last ten minutes before bed every night to fold all his clothes) and heads to the bathroom. He brushes his teeth. He takes a shower for approximately fifteen minutes. He gets out, dries his hair, puts on lotion, and puts his pajamas back on. He never wears his uniform before he eats breakfast because he’s terrified of it getting dirty. He eats breakfast, which is a very healthy balance of yogurt and fruits and oats. He eats just about the same thing every day. Due to him hating the texture of oats (even when he makes himself eat them), he always eats them first before quickly washing them down with yogurt. Then he takes a bite of strawberry or blueberries or any other fruit he has on his plate. He never eats any of the food together.

Then he gels and combs his hair before putting on his uniform. He has two mirrors in his house: the wall one in the bathroom and a standing one in his bedroom. He always wants to check to make sure everything’s tidy and neat, no matter how small it is. He has the constant repetitive thought of getting fired from his job, so he forces himself to perfection every day, even if it’s risking his own physical and mental health. This includes him excessively washing his hands and brushing his teeth.

The reason why he wakes up so early is because he’s fully aware of his OCD and how bad it can be. That’s why he gives himself a lot of time before heading to work so he can be patient with himself and calm his thoughts and compulsions. Still, not everything is perfect for him. He has red gums because he brushes his teeth about four times a day, and he washes his hands around fifteen times a day. Those numbers are the minimum.

His coworkers find him weird. Most of his coworkers, from his knowledge, are neurotypical. He doesn’t blame them for not understanding his behavior, though. He’ll be constantly checking his inbox even when there isn’t anything to check, and he’ll also bring his own towel and soap to wash his hands with in the bathroom. He doesn’t have a deathly fear of germs, but he’s severely worried sometimes that he’ll get extreme diseases if he doesn’t clean himself for one day. Diseases like Ebola, or even parasitic infections. When he bumps into someone on accident, he bumps into them again once or twice until it feels “right”.

Unlike Oliver and how he views his Tourette’s, Ivan is actually pretty accepting of his OCD. He feels like it makes him unique in a way, and you can thank his ego for that. He was a pretty proud person even before he started showing signs of OCD. When people scoff or pick on him, he brushes them off easily. It’s good that he’s aware of his behavior and doesn’t hate himself for it, but it’s also rather bad because he’s convinced that everything he does that’s caused by his OCD is healthy, from cleaning himself until his skin was like paper and getting very little time to sleep.

#ivan #oliver #twisty's characters #ask to tag

[norawestcllen]

13 Reasons Why: Trigger Scenes

For those of you interested in watching this show but fear that certain scenes within the series might cause you harm. I’ve compiled a list of the start & end times of certain scenes that may be too graphic. Below the cut I’ve also decide to include a transcript of important voiceovers that happen during the scenes themselves that you may want to read (but not if you believe they might harm you emotionally) for plot purposes. So just fyi there will obviously be spoilers below the cut lol. I’m pretty certain I got all the majorly triggering scenes, however this whole series does contain little potentially triggering things including: Bullying, slut-shaming, closeted-gay, a second suicide attempt that isn’t explicitly shown but mentioned in the 12th and 13th episodes. So Please take the utmost precaution when watching this series. 

But with all that said, I do hope you enjoy it. I’m tagging those who either replied, reblogged, or liked my original post on the subject so that they can find this easily. 

@madelyne-pryor @sublimelem0n @dana-in-wonderland  @decembervesalius @dominoswif @whoaheather

Episode 9 – Sexual Assault

1. 31:20 – 32:40 

This scene sets up the assault scene and has a semi-misleading depiction of who the attacker is. The scene shows no actual assault but alludes to what will happen next. For safety’s sake do not view this scene if you are easily triggered by the theme of sexual assault. 

2. 38:50 – 42:35

This scene depicts the full assault. The time I’ve listed above starts and ends at the safest spot to skip to. However, if you are feeling okay enough to watch everything in the scene except the actual assault those times are 40:20 – 41:30. But again please be very careful and don’t push yourself too much. Your mental health is the priority here. This scene is told from the point of view of Hannah Baker hiding in a closet. 

3. 46:40 – 47:02

This is another semi prelude scene to the assault. It shows someone attempting to stop the assault, but failing and giving up. 

4. 50:20 – 51:20 

This is another scene of the assault, however this time it depicts a flashback from the point of view of the victim of the assault rather than Hannah’s account of it. This scene is intensely more graphic than Hannah’s pov, and I extremely urge you to take caution with this scene.  

Episode 12 – Sexual Assault and Child Abuse

5. 00:40 – 01:10

There is a brief but immediate flashforward scene depicting flashes of the assault. This begins immediately after the credits play so please be very careful here. 

6. 42:15 – 47:30

The assault itself doesn’t take up the entire time that I’ve listed, but it cuts in and out with Clay confronting the rapist, including a very bloody fight. So I figured the safest way to avoid the triggering scene would be to avoid that whole sequence. However after the ‘end time’ I listed Clay does get the rapist to finally admit he did it. But if you do not want to see this either please skip to 50:25. If you would like to see the Clay-Only scene also these are those times: 43:30 – 45:45.

7. 51:00 – 52:25

This scene involves one of the characters being choked by the boyfriend of their mother. Please view with caution.

Episode 13 – Suicide 

8. 35:45 – 38:53

This is inarguably the most graphic scene in the entire series and really in a show period that I’ve personally seen. So please take extreme caution if you are going to try and view this scene. On the one hand I believe it was important because non-suicidal people need to see it so they can understand what it’s really like. They need to be forced out of their comfort zone so they don’t just continue ignoring things like this and say shit like “It was their choice; Nothing ____ could have done” and “Suicide is selfish” But if you are suicidal or have ever been suicidal I please urge you not to watch this scene if it may cause you harm. Please be cautious and safe. Your mental health is super important. No movie or show is worth jeopardizing it. In the times above I’ve included everything from the moment she enters the bathroom to right after her body is found by her parents. 

Episode 9 – Sexual Assault

1.

"There are three stories to tell about that night. I’ll tell this one first.”

“How did I end up in that room? That’s another story, but for now... Justin, you’d been with the same girl all night, but I’m not going to call her out by name. Even though I you were at that party you already know.”

“I realized two things in that moment. Number One: I was drunk. And Number Two: So was this girl. But I figured you’d just give up and leave her alone. At least I’d hoped you would.”

“I know what you’re thinking. ‘Maybe if this girl hadn’t had so much to drink what happened next wouldn’t have happened’ but it was a party. Everyone had too much to drink. And besides how can you blame someone for something that happens while they’re unconscious.”

2.

During this scene, Jessica and Justin, both very drunk, arrive in her bedroom where Hannah was. When they arrive she hides. Jessica is on the verge of passing out when Justin decides to leave the room. Hannah attempts to leave, but then Bryce barges in. She moves into the closet where she finds herself frozen during the assault. The below transcription takes place after she hides in the closet.

“I had to do something. I had to make him stop. But I couldn’t get my feet to move. It was dark in there, and the music was loud, but I saw his face. And I recognize his voice as clear as day. And so would all of you.”

“But this tape isn’t about him. It’s about you and me, Justin. You called him a friend, but your girlfriend needed you.”

Bryce then leaves and Hannah rushes out of the closet where she proceeds to throw up in a trash can while sobbing. She pulls a blanket over Jessica, still unconscious, and says to Jessica “I’m sorry”

“That girl had two chances that night. But we both let her down. How do I live with that? How do you Justin? How does she live with what happened?”

3.

Justin barges in and pulls Bryce off but Bryce pushes him back out the room and knocks him down. Justin begins crying but does not attempt to stop him again.

4.

This scene shows Jessica a bit more aware than Hannah had realized. She recalls trying to stop Bryce, but being too weak to do it. 

Episode 12 – Sexual Assault and Child Abuse

5.

No transcription needed.

6.

“The way I see it, there are two different kinds of death. If your lucky, you live a long life and one day your body stops working and its over. But if you’re not lucky, you die a little bit...over and over.”

“Until you realize it’s too late.”

“I know some of you listening think there’s more I could have done. Or should have done. But I’d lost control, and in that moment it felt like... It felt like I was already dead.”

7.

Seth gives Justin his subpoena but then begins to yell at him for “bring cops around” due to Seth’s drug business. Justin yells at Seth which leads to Seth shoving him against a wall and choking him out. He continues choking Justin until his mother comes out and complains “The neighbors will call 911″ Seth reluctantly stops choking him. And his mother gives him a broken look as Justin is kicked out of his home by Seth. 

Episode 13 – Suicide

8. 

In this scene, Clay is graphically describing what Hannah did to Mr. Porter. So I won’t actually transcribe that. 

#suicide tw #rape tw #abuse tw #13 Reasons Why #please please take caution with this show #while i loved it and think it was very good #i do know that it could cause some ppl harm