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#I’ve been surviving which is good don’t get me wrong

berberriescorner · 3 months

Text

“Are You Listening?”

Interlude: “Drinks On Me, Yeah?”

Characters: Rio x Black!Reader.

Summary: Issa Interlude, mama. Expect the unexpected.

Warnings: Profanity, angst, fluff, and drinking-little libation for the one, two.

Word Count: 1,700+.

A/N: My lovelies! My babies! Mama’s back and I got a little sum-sum for ya! Let’s start this weekend with a little Rio and the crew, yeah? Yeah. I want to give so many thanks to all of you sweet lovelies who have been rocking with me this entire time. Most of you know that the past year and a half has been quite the struggle. To everybody who took time out of your day to come and check in on me, please know that I’m appreciative and forever grateful to have connected with such amazing people🥹♥️. Thank you for all the sweet, hilarious comments and asks as well💓. I’m a little rusty, so be gentle with your girl. Enjoy my sweet babies. Before anyone asks, yes, I’ve been working on Pt. 4😂😏😈.

"Are You Listening?" - The Playlist

Apple Music.

Spotify.

Part One Here.

Part Two Here.

Part Three Here.

Inspired By:

Your body pressed down into the plush mattress as you reveled in the comfort and security of being home. Your mind replayed the image of your mom snatching the door open, the two of you hugging tightly, rocking side to side. You had spent the past week trying to survive final exams and warding off the many questions of, “What’s wrong, baby girl?” The woman who gave you life knew you all too well. Sensing that her youngest baby was struggling, her attempts to get you to open up over the phone went unanswered. With the semester complete, being home didn’t leave much space to dodge the knowing gaze in her eyes.

That master’s degree will probably be a waste of time.

The moment you pulled away from the hug, she cupped your chin, and your poker face cracked as the tears cascaded down your cheeks. Two hours later, you filled her in on everything from the stress of school, financial aid, working doubles, and the fresh crack in your heart that was taking its sweet-ass time to heal. All of which had only taken about forty minutes to stutter out. The talk and her comfort had left you wiped out, and just like any amazing mother would do, she sent you to your room for a nap and got to work on preparing comfort food.

You considered dozing off for a bit more rest, but your bedroom door flew open, bouncing off the corner of your vanity. Your eyes narrowed to mere slits as you started to curse your oldest brother out. His hand raising halted the verbal reprimand.

“Alena’s big-headed ass is here to see ya mean ass,” he snarked about the woman who would eventually become his wife.

These two bitches are so in love. It’s sickening. The attraction is so annoyingly obvious. Shit makes me sick to my stomach.

Before you could tell him you didn’t want company, she was already in the doorframe. “Uh-uh, bitch you are not about to dodge me for another two weeks.” With those words said, you had no choice but to give her a rundown of what had transpired. Not only had she forced you to divulge every last detail while the two of you hugged and cried together. She also took it upon herself to wiggle you into your best freakum dress and head out for a girl’s night.

Being the baby and the only girl in your family made for very over-the-top protective parents. The moment your father saw your attire, he wouldn’t let up. He was hell-bent on forcing your brothers to chaperone.

It wasn’t a horrible idea. Only you didn’t like your independence challenged. Luckily, the older siblings were pretty chill, so long as no one was overly aggressive. They had taught you how to handle shit for yourself at a young age. You spent the first half hour in the club pouting and ready to go home to wallow in self-misery.

“Hoe! If you don’t fix your face, scaring off every good-looking man in this club!”

“They’ll be alright, so long as they keep their distance. In case you didn’t get the memo after our long talk. Men make my ass itch,” you growled, kissing your teeth.

“Whateva, you and that stank attitude can have a good time together,” she sassed, throwing up a hand and walking away from the bar.”

“Where are you going? Alena!”

“I’ll be back, damn! Let me go on and annoy them, fine-ass brothers of yours. Be nice, and don’t bite nobody head off, sourpuss.”

“Always thirsting after my blood, just triflin’.”

With the flick of a middle finger, she sauntered over to their section. You could see the irritation rolling off them as she seated herself in the middle. The arguing started seconds later. Your eye twitched at the sight. Swinging the barstool back toward the liquor, you were about to pass the time scrolling through social media. Instead, a set of bronzed-colored, muscular digits came into view. They gently pressed your phone to the bar as the matching digits slid another lemon drop into view. Your eyes danced along those muscular fingers, trailing upward until they landed on one of the sexiest faces you’d ever witnessed. If any other man would’ve done this, he would’ve been set straight expeditiously. In this instance, ole boy was just too damn fine, and it left you on mute. The corners of his mouth lifted into a handsome smirk.

The stranger turned his barstool to get closer. One hand rested on the bar while the other cradled the back of your seat. His eyes roamed over your body, lip tucking between his teeth, matching you stare for stare. He chuckled when he noticed your quirked eyebrow.

“I don’t mean to intrude on ya evening, but I figured you could use another drink.”

“Is that so?”

“Couldn’t help but overhear your conversation with your friend. I’m tryin’ to figure out why these men got your fine ass itching out here.”

Shit, he heard that? Floor, open up and swallow me. That’s so damn embarrassing.

As if reading your thoughts, he continued, “Nothing to be embarrassed about, mama. There’s a lot of boys running around here pretending to be men. Who was crazy enough to fumble you? He gotta be the dumbest man on earth.”

As if on cue, said fumbler’s name popped up on your caller ID. With a swipe of a finger, the phone went silent. You turned back to your new admirer. He had signaled for another round of drinks.

“Either you’re a big spender, or the bartender is your connect,” you teased.

“Connect is one way of putting it. This my spot, darlin’.”

He chuckled as you damn near choked on your drink.

“I’m sorry. Tend to put my foot in my mouth.”

“You good. I like a woman who’s not afraid to speak her mind. Dealing with me, you go to say it with your chest.”

“Oh, so you plan to be around me beyond tonight?”

“Around, underneath, on top. We locked in, mama,” he insisted, licking his lips.

“I don’t even know your name, fool,” you cackled at his cockiness.

“Name’s Rio, but you can call me Christopher, mama. My future wife needs to know my government name. I’m putting my trust in you. Don’t be tellin’ my business, sweetheart.”

“Who says I’m checking for you, Rio?”

“You accepted my company and drinks. Deep down, you’re intrigued by me. Ain’t no need to hide it. When I see something I want, gotta go after it, mama.” he rasped, voice lowering to a panty-dropping level.

“You’re trouble. I just know it.”

Rio planted both hands on your thighs. The gasp that escaped you lit his brown orbs with passion.

“Can I have your undivided attention for the night? Want to get to know you better, mama.”

Grabbing his outstretched hand, he helped you down off the stool.

“Rio…”

Piercing light flickered in the darkness, pulling you from the memory that played itself in your dreams. Your hand snatched the vibrating phone from the table. Your orbs squinted to read the screen, teeth clenching in frustration.

Fucking Rio, I can’t even get away from him in my sleep. Stupid-handsome-asshole.

With a single tap, the phone rested on DND. You closed off from the world to find a peaceful slumber, only to wake from another dream. Throwing the covers back, you startled, feeling the bed dip. His cologne wafted through the air, and your eyes connected.

“Why all the tossing and turning, amor? Hmm,” he rasped, hand trailing up your arm. His warm palm cradled the side of your neck, rubbing away some of the tension.

“Sorry, did my restlessness wake you?”

“No, querida. I’ve been up taking care of some things.”

“Same old Miguel. Everything business. Still don’t sleep much, huh?”

His eyes crinkled with a small smile, but you could also see sadness. It’s the same unhappiness that’s always lingered, only now accompanied by sparks of anger and resentment. Your mind replayed his words in the elevator.

Where’s your wife, Miguel?

She had other plans tonight.

The slightest mention of her had nearly sent his mood spiraling. You weren’t privy to what was happening in his marriage but didn’t want to pry. He would only reverse card uno your ass. Miguel would insist that you vent about your own life and frustrations.

“Thank you for taking the couch,” you nibbled at your lip.

There was a hint of frustration and guilt lingering in your chest. Not being able to sleep without dreaming of Rio left you feeling conflicted. Part of you wanted to say to hell with loyalty. Being in such a vulnerable state had you craving to be held and cuddled, but regardless of circumstance, the two of you were very much married. Concern swam in the pools of his eyes. Miguel sensed the ongoing dilemma in your head, and his fingers gently cupped your chin.

“Hey, talk to me. What’s all this,” he asked, tugging the lip between your teeth. “Tell me what you need.”

“I can’t,” you sighed.

“You can, and you will. Look at me,” he insisted as your eyes locked.

“Anything you ask me. It won’t leave this room. You need me to hold you until sleep takes over, amor?”

Unable to verbally say it, you gave him a slight head nod. Removing his tie, watch, and shoes, he made it over to the opposite side of the bed. Miguel got right to it, not giving you time to overthink it. He pulled you into his chest, arms engulfing you in a tight hug.

“Were you having nightmares, cariño?”

“No, just happy memories reminding me of the present painful ones,” you replied, voice filling with unshed tears.

“You want to talk about it?”

Silence filled the room as Miguel continued, “We don’t have to ta-.”

His sentence cut short as he felt the tremors and your head burrowed into his side. Miguel’s heart cracked at the sound of the sobs falling from your lips. His arms pulled you further into him until there was no space left, and the palm of his hand rubbed at your head.

“Shhh, you’re okay. I’m here,” he cooed, leaving soft kisses on the crown of your head.

Miguel continued to whisper calming words. You cried until your head pounded, and sleep took over.

Hope you all enjoyed that little peek into how Rio pulled up on your girl for the first time. He saw something he liked, and he had to have you🥰. We’ll just call this a vague moment of insight into upcoming events...if that makes sense 😆. If you enjoyed please be sure to hit the love button, comment, and reblog. Spread the love, my babies.

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avocadoguru · 8 months

Text

He was staring at her in a way no one had in her entire life. She couldn’t read anything in his eyes - not surprise, not fear, not malicious intent - nothing. (wolfrry, werewolf!harry, alpha!harry, ranger!y/n)

Lupus Noctis- Masterlist, Author’s Note & Warnings

Chapter 11 / alternatively, read on wattpad

Chapter 12 (word count: 9k) -updated September 6

“So… did you figure it out, yet?”

Harry didn’t even have time to find it funny, “Why wouldn’t you have said anything to me? This is… What do I do? Does she know? She wouldn’t know yet, would she? I don’t think she knows… Niall, I don’t know how to handle something like this!”

Harry’s emotions were high. And for good reason. What he’d just seen had him shaken. And it also meant that she’d been turned against her will by a psychopath. He was glad he’d murdered James but this would always be a reminder of what had happened and who had done it.

He had been curious about a few little things. The first was obviously the speed at which she’d recovered and then there was her sudden spunk. Her heightened sense of smell was peculiar when she picked out that he was to be making eggs benedict, which should have tipped him off right away. How had she guessed? The sauce wasn’t something that most humans could pick out from a small leak in a jar in a bag full of other more fragrant groceries.

“What happened that made you realize?”

“I saw her eyes turn golden. Just wish you’d said something.”

Niall had a hunch about her sudden natural reparative abilities, but he couldn’t be 100% sure at the time.“Harry, you have to understand, man. I didn’t say anything because it was either I was wrong or I was right and you’d figure it out anyway. It was better not to say anything if by chance she was just recovering in a way that doesn’t normally happen in humans. Sometimes things do happen that don’t make sense medically. I figured it was better to just wait and see.”

Harry paced, all the way to the furthermost corner of his expansive garden, outside of Y/N’s earshot. His towel tied tight around his waist as he ran his hands through his damp hair, “You could have at least given me a heads up. What do I do?”

Niall breathed out a laugh, “How should I know? I’m a medical doctor! I’m not cut out for emotional therapy. I’ve never dealt with anything like this. But you’ll figure it out.”

“I know. I just… how do I tell her?”

“Harry, again, I don’t know. We’re talking about a human that has been turned and I’m not familiar with all of this. It’s very unconventional. This kind of thing only happens in extremely rare cases and never in my life have I met a human that’s been turned. I’ve heard about it, just never known someone that it happened to. How has she been acting? What caused her eyes to change?”

Harry cleared his throat and looked up at his house, remembering to keep his voice down, “She’s been… very ready to do stuff. Awake. Wants to go for a swim. Is hungry. Um… a little bit bossy with me even.”

Niall hummed into the receiver, “Bossy… and what happened to have her eyes change?”

Harry could almost hear the cheek in his voice, “She was… I think maybe just excited. She’s been in a really good mood since I came back with groceries a bit ago.”

“Right… a good mood. Well, it’s doctor’s orders to take it easy on her. She might be… well… able to tolerate more, but… she’s still recovering. And so are you.”

A scoff fell from Harry’s lips, “Fine. No advice for me then?”

“Sorry, man. Never dealt with anything like this before. As you know, it’s exceptional that anyone would survive being bitten and getting turned. I just think that’s remarkable… The way you’ve been adamant she’s your mate, all this time. She really is your mate. Only your true mate could’ve survived turning for you.”

Y/N was onto Harry. She knew that he wasn’t running out to his car just to get something. Sure he ran out the front door but the way he reacted to her standing so close to him was a little out of character. Perhaps, she decided, that he was trying to “behave” and not push her into anything intimate. That made sense. She was still recovering from what she was told were deadly injuries. But that in itself was a mystery to her. She felt fine for the most part.

She’d unpacked the groceries and left out the ingredients to make the eggs benedict when Harry was in the shower. But getting interrupted by the way he had groaned and then, the thing that had started to become a big question at the front of her mind, was his scent. It was his natural musk but she could smell him from all the way downstairs in the kitchen while he was in the shower. It was his groan, however, that had her feet carrying her upstairs to check on him. Just to see.

She didn’t know why he’d suddenly become so timid with her. Why he was shying away from her. It was subtle but she noticed it.

When he came back inside, dawning only the towel he tucked around his waist he slowed his movements as he saw her standing there with a knowing look on her face.

“What happened?”

Harry tilted his chin up to feign more confidence than he was feeling in her presence suddenly. It was as if he was looking at her with new eyes. She was like him now and her senses would pick apart the subtlest changes, “I thought I’d left the butter in the car. Wouldn’t have wanted it to melt.”

Y/N narrowed her eyes at him as he walked past her into the kitchen, “But you didn’t go to your car.”

Harry clenched his jaw and stopped in his tracks. It was going to be difficult to pretend he didn’t know what was going on but he wanted to wait a little longer before telling her in hopes of her figuring it out herself. Or, in any case, he needed to figure out a way to ease her into this. He didn’t want her to freak out, or be by herself when she did figure it out. But he needed time to process it himself; all he knew was that he couldn’t just blurt it out to her out of nowhere.

He hated to have to go right back to keeping secrets from her again, especially such a huge one, and especially something that affected her directly. By some miracle he didn’t lose her, she was still there with him by choice, he just couldn’t handle losing her for good if she took to the news badly. Which she had every right to… just as much as she’d had every right to be as upset with him as she’d been just a little while back. He thought back then that he’d lost her for good. And now he had to prepare himself for the possibility of having his heart broken all over again.

The way he handled this was crucial. A wrong move and he could fuck it all up forever. He needed to tread carefully.

He looked at her with squinted eyes, “How do you know I didn’t check the car?”

Y/N paused. She had been feeling like her senses were somehow heightened. Her hearing, her sense of smell… She pondered his question as he continued walking into the kitchen. Looking at his broad shoulders and his back had her wishing he hadn’t run off when he did.

“It’s kind of weird, you know… I’ve been, like, experiencing these weird things. I can hear so clearly and my sense of smell is…” she thought back to the panties she found but decided to keep that bit of information until the time was right, for later, “and I don’t know what it is. Maybe it’s all in my head? I feel like maybe I should call Niall…”

Harry watched her carefully as she mulled over everything and he pulled out two eggs from the carton before she continued, “So when I couldn’t hear the car door, I guess I just assumed…” She scoffed, hearing herself out loud. She sounded like a nutcase. Of course she wouldn’t be able to hear the car door all the way from upstairs. “Sorry. I’m being weird. But… right now I’m actually starving so if that butter made it alive let’s eat.”

Harry had Y/N heat the hollandaise while he prepared the rest of the ingredients. But she was clearly still mulling over their interaction upstairs. He noticed her eyes dragging down his bare chest and stopping at his crotch repeatedly. And he could tell she was not only hungry for food but she also had a bit of an appetite for something carnal as well.

He cleared his throat when he turned to find her leaning on the island and watching him, “Gonna burn the sauce.”

Her grin was playful and Harry felt his blood heat up as she spoke, “Turned it off already. The lid will keep it warm.” She didn’t remove her gaze from him. She was making it very clear what she wanted and he wondered if she was aware of what she was doing or not.

As much as he’d have loved to have bent her over the kitchen island and take care of his girl the way she needed he couldn’t allow that. Not until they at least had a real conversation. About what she’d seen. About how she was feeling.

When she began to walk toward him she realized it was like something was just drawing her to him. She wanted to… what did she want? Breakfast was nearly ready and she was very hungry, and yeah, she wanted to eat but what she really wanted was to bite him. Just to nip his shoulder or his neck. His pecs. She didn’t know why her urge was so strong but the moment she was close enough to touch him Harry stood up straight and he looked away from her sultry gaze, “Uh, I’m just gonna go and get dressed and then we’ll eat.”

Breakfast was tasty. It was nourishing and filled her belly, mostly. She felt like she could eat more but Harry’s scent and his hands and his lips were distracting. And the way he kept keeping her at arm’s length had her feeling even more insatiable for him. She knew he was doing it because he was worried about hurting her but she was going to explode if he didn’t do something.

Turning to face his pretty girl he nearly gave in right then and there, seeing the ravenous look in her eyes. He could practically read her mind, that’s how loud she was thinking those dirty thoughts. And he wanted to give in, he wanted to kiss her, hold her, feel her body against his. Taste her… He shook his head as he got off the stool and pulled himself away reluctantly, grabbing their dirty dishes.“Let’s go for a swim. Like you wanted. I think I know a great place. Secluded. Not in the preserve.” Harry rinsed the dishes as he spoke. He could feel her eyes burning into his back but he needed to keep moving, keep his thoughts from wandering too far. Distract her if he could. He felt he could use a swim himself. Get out some of his pent-up emotions and energy.

“That sounds great, actually,” she grinned and lifted herself up to sit on the counter next to where he was washing the dishes, “I feel like I need to move and exert some energy. A little exercise would be good I think. A swim.”

The drive to the new spot wasn’t as quick as it would have been if they’d driven to the preserve and parked and hiked up to their special hidden oasis. But they both knew they couldn’t go back there. Maybe ever. Y/N stopped herself from initiating conversation the whole drive there, and she could tell Harry was holding back, too. She just wasn’t quite ready to address all of that; she at least wanted to go for this swim first. That would hopefully make her feel a bit better. She felt absolutely fine apart from the fact she felt she didn’t fit into her own skin. She was aching to move, burn some energy off, and she suspected it was due to the fact that she was sexually frustrated.

Y/N decided to google her symptoms to pass the time quicker on their drive to this new, secluded place Harry had suggested. She was not quite understanding the way she was able to smell everything so clearly. She typed in sudden heightened sense of smell into the search bar. Scrolling through the various results and webmd articles she landed on something that might explain the strange phenomenon.

Synesthesia could be the answer. It wasn’t uncommon for people that had gone through life-threatening injuries. She wasn’t 100% sure that was what was causing her to smell and hear things she would have never been able to before but at least it was some kind of answer. Something to ask Niall about when she did finally talk to him about all this.

Harry parked his car off the road and tucked away behind large pines and in the grass. It was miles from the preserve and in an area where the mountains were not protected or worked by the rangers. Some of it was privately owned land that hadn’t been touched in decades.

“The swimming cove is a spot I used to come to when I had time to waste and wanted to venture away from the preserve.” Harry spoke as he grabbed her bag from her, putting it over his shoulder and began walking toward the fence that clearly meant the area was off limits.

The overgrowth of vines and grass indicated that no one had been in these parts in a very long time. Which put Y/N at ease. She followed him, scaling the fence easily and trekking through the acreage close behind.

The upward hike was off trail and cumbersome but once they began making their way down into the valley from where they’d hiked Y/N saw the ridges of the mountain and a level area below with a ravine.

“Your sense of direction is astonishing,” she commented as they carefully trekked down toward where they could hear the water flowing, “But I guess that makes sense, doesn’t it? You’re a…” she stopped just before she could say the word. She still had to get used to that idea. That he was a werewolf. Part human, part beast.

Harry turned to look at her, stopping his pace suddenly as he raised his brows at her, “A werewolf? Is that what you were going to say?”

Nodding her head she shrugged, “Yeah. I wasn’t sure if you wanted to be called that. Or… I don’t know. Is it okay to say it?”

The gentle smile that took over his features told her it was, though he didn’t respond to her question with words.

Looking down to the sandy portion of the ravine Harry pointed, “Just there. It’s beautiful once you see it from the ground. Come on.”

Y/N was wearing her hiking boots while Harry was in his signature chelsea boots, making the descent to the cove look like child’s play. She was now hyper aware of why he was so good at hiking and trekking and staying steady even in such posh shoes. Everything that had suddenly come to light about what he really was had answered so many questions for her.

But the moment they were standing in the wet sand before the cove where the ravine led, all her thoughts about what Harry was had vanished. Another breathtaking spot with not a single human soul to be seen.

Harry placed their bags on the rocks to keep them dry and began to take his boots off as he watched Y/N curiously. He had been careful not to allow her to over exert herself but she was easily keeping up with him and she seemed fine. She was fine. Her heartbeat was steady and strong, her body had barely broken out in a sweat and she had a wide smile on her face as she looked around.

“Harry, this is… it’s perfect!” She was eager to move her limbs in the cool water. Feel the weightlessness take over and play around with Harry.

She looked over at him as he was undressing, taking his clothes off, his boots already on the rocks next to the bags. So she followed suit. Taking her own boots off and peeling her pants down her legs.

Harry was already jumping into the water by the time Y/N had stuffed her shirt onto the pile of clothes. Looking down over her body she did see the awful scar. The wound was healed but the remnants of what had happened was obvious. She hesitated to remove her bra as she brushed a hand over the raised skin.

“Everything okay?” Harry called to her. She looked out toward him, handsome with wet hair as he came in closer to her.

“Yeah. Just… saw this and…” she ran her fingers from the top of her clavicle downward over the scar to under her breast, “I guess I feel lucky to even be alive. Here with you.”

She kept her eyes on his as she unhooked the back of her bra and removed it.

Harry watched her as she bent down and took her panties off. He was already hard just seeing her bare body but the scar across her chest kept him in check. She was still recovering. Still figuring out what was going on.

The somber moment was suddenly over the minute she jumped into the water next to Harry and began to laugh. The water was frigid but it felt fantastic. Normally she would feel discomfort but right now her body was adjusting to it just fine, feeling invigorated and alive.

Stretching her limbs in the water she ducked her head under to swim closer to Harry and grasped his wrist.

Harry pulled her up and she tugged his arm around herself. Both grinning ear to ear with the closeness. He was just glad she was feeling playful. That she wasn’t upset or hurt by what had happened. At least in that moment she wasn’t. He knew she’d have lots of questions for him. Knew they needed to have a conversation but for now the light hearted moment was the only thing he could focus on. And her warm skin against his.

She was more than just playful though. She was horny and Harry knew it. Having her naked in the cool water of a private cove in the mountains was risky. Because he was turned on too. And he knew he was asking for trouble with this scenario. It evoked memories of their time together at the oasis in the preserve.

He could resist her for only so long. She was laying it on thick in his house during breakfast and now with his clothes off and his obvious erection it would be even harder to resist her.

Harry pulled his arm away and began to swim backwards, gliding through the water smoothly, putting some distance between himself and the girl.

“Where are you going?” She laughed and began to swim toward him slowly.

Harry shook his head and feigned innocence, “What do you mean? Just swimming is all,” he bit the inside of his cheek to tamper the playful grin on his face.

Instead of continuing after him she decided she’d lure him to her. She ducked under the water again, kicking her feet out and splashing as she maneuvered under the water before surfacing, bouncing out just enough that her breasts were visible to him.

She watched him closely as she pushed herself back and stretched her arms to float at the surface. The tranquility of having her ears tucked under the water, muffling all the sounds that surrounded them, and floating in the mountain chilled water on her back was just like being back at her oasis. She smiled to herself and peeked an eye at Harry. To her delight, he was already watching her closely.

His eyes were clearly taking in her soft breasts with tightened nipples perking above the water. She wouldn’t tease him too much but she wanted his hands on her. Wanted his attention. Wanted him to give in to her. She knew what he was doing. Knew he was trying to keep his distance because she needed to heal. But that just made her want him more. His gentlemanly and thoughtful attempts to keep her healthy and the way he was doing it because he cared for her. Denying himself something she knew he wanted as a way of protecting her.

Harry decided to peel his eyes from her body and float on his back too. He needed to straighten out his thoughts and get his mind out of the gutter. He closed his eyes and tried to train his dirty thoughts away. He knew his body was calling him to take care of his natural urges with his mate. And now that she was like him… she was very likely made exactly for him in every way.

But he couldn’t just act on his desires. He didn’t want to hurt her and he was sure if they did have sex she’d display even more evidence of being like him and that could scare her. If she somehow dropped her fangs in the middle of her orgasm or her claws came out while he was pounding into her – yeah, his thoughts weren’t helping. All of that sounded absolutely delightful and he’d love to feel her fangs puncture into his skin, or have her claw up his back and chest.

“Harry,” he heard her voice speak his name and he popped his eyes open, dropping the lower half of his body back into the water and letting his toes scrape along the rocky sand.

She saw the way his erection was bobbing just above the water every time his chest inhaled and he floated upward the tiniest bit. And then his eyes on hers were dark. She could almost hear his heart pounding in his chest, not unlike her own wildly pumping heart.

Something in her decided to cut the shit. She was feeling bold. Feeling like he wanted exactly what she wanted and as nice as it was to be cared for and protected by him she wanted him to fuck her. She wanted him to hold her in his arms and to give himself to her once and for all.

“Stop this,” she spoke matter-of-factly as she swam around his body. “I can see clearly how affected you are by me.”

Touching his shoulder she moved her finger down over his tattoos and to his pecs, thumbing at his nipple and watching his eyes, “I’m okay. Really. You don’t have to keep holding off and denying yourself, Harry.” She moved herself in front of him and draped her arms over his shoulders.

Without another thought, Harry’s hands moved down to her waist as he pulled her in closer to him, “I want you healthy is all. And I think we have a lot to talk about.”

Nodding her head she agreed. That was true. They needed to talk. But something inside of her needed something physical. She needed it to uncloud her brain and give her some kind of clarity. She couldn’t explain it, she just knew she needed it. More than a talk. As important as that was, she was sure she wouldn’t ever be able to focus on anything he told her if he didn’t fuck her first.

“Yes. We will talk. But I don’t know how to explain the way I feel in this moment, how much I need you.” She bit her lip and pushed her hips to his, his cock firm on her thigh, “It’s kind of painful actually.”

Harry could feel her warm against his prick as he looked down to see her breasts grazing against his chest. Painful? Yes, perhaps she was feeling that natural physical urge to release just like he was. That’s how it was for his kind, though he was used to it. Used to the pain of holding off and not allowing himself to indulge right away. She was not used to the way it felt. The ache that wasn’t just from being horny. It was something deep and raw. A biological and natural instinct his kind, their kind possessed.

He knew the pain well. Knew it could be pushed down and she’d be okay. But she was new to all this. And even with the water around them he could smell how intensely she needed him. Needed him to soothe her. And he was the only one that could provide that for her too. He knew that even if she masturbated she wouldn’t be fully comforted. It would pacify her for a bit. Maybe an hour but she wouldn’t be fulfilled. She wasn’t going to feel better until he took care of her. But he needed to be careful.

“I think you need to recover first, kitten.” Harry let the little nickname he’d given her so long ago slip out. Or maybe he’d done it on purpose. There was something about her that was feeding into his own urges. She was drawing them out of him with just her eyes. The change in her was so deep and it tangled with his own impulses and senses that he could barely think straight. He was more drawn to her than he’d ever been and he knew it was because of the change. Because she was like him now. His perfect match.

“Harry,” she spoke softly as she kept her eyes on his, a hand moving over his warm chest, “I trust you. I know you would never hurt me and I can tell you need it too. You need me just as much.”

She could just sense his need. And it wasn’t just the fact that he had an erection. She knew it before all that. She felt it back at his house. Something between them had shifted and it was as if she could anticipate his needs without him having to tell her or show her.

His teeth ached to kiss her and to bite her. A carnal and spiritual feeling overwhelmed him. His willpower was incredible but there was only so much he could take. He was as weak as any man and her wolf was luring his out to play. Perhaps he could be gentle. She needed him. She needed him.

He grasped the back of her head and his lips found her mouth. The kiss was hot and electric and wild. She lifted a thigh up to his hip and he used his free hand to keep it in place, pasting their hips together.

The whimper that fell from his mouth had her grinning and feeling powerful. She grasped onto his shoulders and let the weightlessness of the water aid her in lifting her other leg to wrap around his hips. Harry groaned and brought his other hand down to keep her thighs held up in place.

Their naked bodies were in sync as he began to walk her out of the water and to the small spot where the sand met the craggy rocks. He’d take care of her. Make love to her gently and soothe her ache. Soothe his own ache.

Their mouths never parted as he walked out of the water and carefully placed her down into the sand, his knees falling into the granules as he put himself between her thighs. With her legs open he could smell her in a way that was overwhelming. He groaned and licked into her mouth before parting from the kiss with a gasp.

The scar on her chest and over her neck had him filled with jealousy and hatred. He was glad he’d killed James for even placing a finger on his girl. His lips pressed over her scar just above her breast and she ran her fingers into his long hair as he pecked wet kisses along the skin that had been forever marred.

“I’m going to make it better,” he whispered between kisses, “Make you feel whole again. Give you everything you need. Show you what it means to be mine…”

She closed her eyes and threw her head back as his mouth worked upward slowly and over the skin on her neck. His tongue laved softly and his lips grazed over the sensitive spots that were still healing. She had never felt such need before in her life. Sure she’d been horny before and had never been more turned on by anyone the way she was with Harry. But this was different. Something else was at play and she didn’t have the mind to dwell on it. She only knew that she needed him.

“Please…” she breathed out her plea as his warm mouth soothed her flesh and his nose nudged at her jaw.

“Hurts doesn’t it?” He continued kissing every inch of her scar as he pushed her back down into the sand, “I’m the only one that can make it better.”

She knew it was true. Whatever was happening in her could only be quieted by him.

Nodding her head she spread her legs further, hoping he’d put her out of her misery and fuck her into oblivion, “Harry, please…”

He looked down over her soft body and the scars, and felt emotions rise in his heart. He hated James even in his death, but he was beyond grateful that she was still his. That she was alive. He would worry later about the guilt and the real issue at hand. His own urges and her excruciating need were beckoning to be dealt with immediately. He could practically feel the ache in her body. Her tummy was emanating heat and he felt bad that she was in such pain. She wasn’t used to this level of arousal and need yet. She would learn to deal with it eventually but for now he would give her relief.

Her cry of pleasure was loud, echoing off the rocks of the cove that surrounded them as he placed his mouth on her throbbing pussy, already pulsing and clenching and dripping.

The sting of her fingers pulling at his hair had him growling into her with delight. He could tell she was urging him in harder but he was going to resist doing anything hard or painful. That would come later. When he was certain she was ready for it.

His tongue was wide and flat as he tugged it up and down her slick cunt. She was so wet he was certain he couldn’t possibly lick it all up and the flavor was just like before but now it tasted truly nourishing to him. He held her thighs apart gently as he dove into her like she was a meal. Licking and sucking at her bits.

She writhed and moaned, her hips lifting off the sand and bucking into his face making him nearly lose his grip on her thighs. She was strong. He shouldn’t have been surprised but he was still getting used to the notion that she was like him now.

“Fuck… yes…” she cooed loudly as his scalp was on fire from the way she was yanking his hair.

Harry didn’t lift his mouth to chuckle or respond and taunt her like he wanted. He needed to make her come so he kept his lips at work on her pussy.

When he began to kiss her clit and pull at it with the smallest nip she squealed and cried out his name as her thighs attempted to close around his head. He held her down but he didn’t want to hurt her so he moved his palms up to grip the underside of her knees to keep her legs pressed down.

She continued bucking as her muscles tensed and her moans grew louder. His nose and mouth and chin were shiny and sticky with her as he rubbed his nose into her clit and stuck his tongue into the opening and past her little muscle, the slick gushing noises the only background sound to her gasps and soft pants.

Harry was feeling his own cock leak and throb. Just tasting her and knowing how good he was making her feel was putting him on edge. He swallowed down her arousal and took a gasp of breath before putting his face back into her cunt for more.

She’d never felt it like this before. Something far more intense was happening in her body and she didn’t know if it was because it was her first orgasm since she nearly died or just knowing that Harry was a werewolf and he was probably enjoying the taste of her in a way she never realized before. That all those times he’d told her how much he liked her scent and her taste, he wasn’t just saying it to make her feel good, he actually meant it. Or just knowing that he was a werewolf in general… probably all of the above.

When her orgasm snapped over her body she tightened her grip on his hair he grunted into her pussy in pain, but it didn’t stop him from lapping at her and sucking her clit. She was shaking so hard and pulling at his hair so tight that he was having a hard time moving his mouth over her the way he wanted. Instead, she was moving his face over her soft crease and clit the way she wanted.

Her cries were loud. It almost sounded as if someone was hurting her. Like she was wailing in pain and anguish. Harry understood that this was because of her intense need to release. Her first release as a werewolf by the hands of her lover. Her mate. He rolled his eyes into the back of his head in ecstasy of his own. He’d not come but he could. His own cock was neglected and hot and if he allowed it, he’d come all over himself and the sand below. But he wanted to come inside of her. He wanted to feel her around him and he knew she was going to want it.

The part of him that wanted to wait and to talk first was already a distant memory left back in his kitchen. His instincts and his wolf had taken over at that moment.

He felt her release his hair as she sighed, wiggling underneath him.

Y/N grabbed at him, pulling him up and over her, “Want you inside me, right now. Do it while I’m still pulsing around nothing.”

Harry was beyond trying to fight this, eating her out had driven him over the edge. He was determined to give her everything she wanted and luckily for him, it was exactly what he wanted as well. The way she’d clawed at him to get him on top of her made him feral, he wondered if she was realizing the amount of force she’d just exerted in doing so, but he couldn’t dwell on it for too long, not when he looked down at her and she looked like she was going to howl with how much she wanted it.

She yanked him against her lips and devoured his mouth, licking her arousal off of him and humming profusely, and in turn, Harry didn’t waste a single moment longer before sinking himself into her juicy cunt. The cry she let out was akin to an injured wolf’s and he knew he wasn’t hurting her, she was just giving in to her natural instincts now. That of letting him dominate her completely.

He pulled back a bit to watch her and when she opened her eyes and her golden irises flashed at him he groaned loudly, allowing his own to take over. Her mouth fell agape and she reached to push his hair out of his face to take him all in better while he slowly but steadily fucked into her. “Harry… your eyes. They’re beautiful. You’re beautiful. You’re exactly who and what you should be, I’m so damn lucky,” she rolled her eyes to the back of her head in ecstasy and Harry thought his heart was going to burst at the amount of love he felt for her.

He didn’t know how it was possible he now loved her even more than before, but being wanted and loved for exactly who he was turned out to be a lot more important to him than he’d thought it would be. He thought he could hide this side of him from her forever and be fine with it, and he’d have done it gladly to keep her. But having it all out into the open and her so accepting of it was something he’d never even allowed himself to hope for.

Well, almost everything out into the open. And god, was she beautiful too. She’d always been, of course, but now that she was like him it did things to him he couldn’t even explain. And it looked so right, so natural. Like she was always meant to be a werewolf. He couldn’t wait to watch her discover everything and come into her own completely. He only wished she’d accept it and embrace it fully.

He was snapped out of his reverie when she nipped at his neck and that only made him drive into her more urgently. Noting it had stung a bit too much, his eyes landed on her mouth and he could see her pointy canines pinching her plump lower lip, a bit of blood coating it.

The sight made him almost come then and there, making him moan and slow his pace a bit to regain focus. As much as he wanted to drag it out and go at it for hours, he needed to milk another orgasm from her and hopefully satiate her craving for a bit, because this was rapidly escalating and getting out of hand. She was completely giving into her natural instincts; and if she noticed any of the signs she was presenting she’d freak out and that was not the way he wanted her to find out.

He flipped her over as though she weighed nothing, not having to hide his natural strength from her anymore and began pounding into her in earnest. He was close, so close, and he knew she was too with how she moaned and whimpered and called out his name repeatedly. But he didn’t want to knot into her just yet, he first needed to explain that to her, plus this wasn’t really the setting for it, he wanted to be able to cuddle with her like that in his expensive bedding back at home, not on this rocky terrain that was sure to leave some bruises on her as it was. He knew she could take it now, he’d of course never have allowed it had she still been just human, but even so, she was recovering, and he didn’t want her feeling any discomfort.

“Please come inside me, Harry. I don’t care. I need it... I can’t explain how much–fuck, how much I need it.”

She needn’t have worried, she wasn’t in heat (yet), so it wasn’t risky like that, but of course she’d worry about getting pregnant. Yet another reason why he needed to find a way to tell her, to avoid all the unnecessary worry on her part. For now, though, he was going to enjoy spilling into her warm cunt, because he needed it just as much. His eyes caught glimpse of her hands she’d rested her smushed cheek against, and her sharp nails were on display. Her much sharper nails. He couldn’t wait for her to claw at his back using them soon, but right now he needed to make sure she didn’t notice them. He grabbed her by her elbows and pulled her back against him, holding her hands behind her back with one arm and snaking the other to her front, finding her clit as he kept thrusting into her from this new angle.

She was already on edge and it only took her a few moments to reach her peak, crying out and letting her head fall back against his shoulder. The sight of the mark on her neck that she probably didn’t even notice wasn’t lost on him though, that was something that would always taunt him, knowing it was someone else’s bite that marked her. But he could claim it as his now, because she was, she was his. It was his cock she was pulsing around, his arms she was falling back into, his name she was whimpering- and so he allowed himself to bite over her mark as he finally gave in to his most primal urge- that of claiming her completely, while he let go and finally filled her up to the brim.

She didn’t even feel the sting of it, she was that far gone; if anything, it was pleasurable for her- as it should be. And for Harry? It was the hardest he’d ever come in his life. His fangs deep into her delicate neck and his cock even deeper into her perfect pussy, she was made just for him, and now she was his in every sense of the word.

With breaths heaving and soft gasps, Harry kept her tight against his chest. He wanted to tell her everything. Wanted so much for her to know what he was thinking. What had just happened to her. What she could expect and that it would only get better and better. If she thought that was intense…

And it was. She didn’t know how to describe the ecstasy, the relief… But it was more than just physical. Everything in and around her felt lighter and more lovely. She was happier than she’d ever been, she felt. She had a sudden urge to run and play; something she hadn’t felt in many years. It was as if being with Harry, everything just made more sense.

With a laugh she wiggled out of his arms and ran back into the water, diving in and swimming out toward the middle, only emerging with a sharp inhale for breath when her lungs needed air.

Harry couldn’t help but look at her in awe. His heart throbbed in his chest with love for her.

“Come on! Get back in!” Y/N shouted and began to glide through the water.

Shaking his head with a laugh he walked back into the icy water and then dove under to meet her in the center of the small cove.

She kept her eyes on the water, waiting for him to emerge but she felt his hand on her ankle before she saw him. With a yelp, she laughed and ducked under to pull at him.

Harry wrapped his arms around her body and pushed them both upward to the surface together. The lighthearted moment suddenly halted as they kept their gazes locked. Y/N moved her arms over his shoulders and drew her face in close to his, brushing their noses together, “I’m so glad I’m here with you. I’m glad I’m alive. I’m glad you’re alive. I don’t know what I would have done. I thought I lost you and that’s the last thing I remember before…” she paused, feeling herself get emotional she swallowed her tears, “It just feels like… destiny to be here with you.”

He could feel and hear her heart beating in her chest and he knew she could feel his do the same. It was as if his whole life had all been leading him to this moment. He knew that this woman was his mate. He’d always known it. Maybe ever since the first night he laid eyes on her in the woods all that time ago. Despite the fact that she had a gun pointed at him, there was just something about her. Something that he knew was different. He belonged to her before he ever met her.

“I’m so glad you’re here too. That we’re here together,” he looked down at her beautiful face as he continued, “I was ready to kill everyone when I thought you weren’t going to make it. Niall said there was no hope. That it was… too late for you,” he inhaled a shaky breath remembering the state she was in just days ago.

“Tell me about what happened. Everything I don’t know about, before, and after the fight. I want to know what happened.”

Harry began to describe the day he was taken and how he’d been outnumbered. He told her why it’d come down to that, about James’ and Irina’s involvement, the way the elders didn’t listen to him having already made up their minds and weren’t going to give him a fair trial.

But with Y/N’s quick thinking and by her reaching out to Niall a chain of events was set off that actually helped matters.

“Lester is a pack leader too, as you know now. The Pack of the Western Plains. He has connections all over. He’s very well respected. So, with his resources he made it so that there was a trial at the very least.”

“And Eddie too? He was there.” She said, remembering the events of that day.

“Yes. He was finally able to shift back into his human form. Because of you,” Harry brought a hand up to her face and gently brushed his knuckles over her temple.“I expected that no matter how the trial ended there would be a fight to the death. And I was certain that no matter how many drugs they’d given me or that they’d left me without food and water that I would be able to do away with James rather easily. But I was weakened. Significantly. It’s the only reason he even had the chances he did. It’s why he got in a few good tears. Had I been in my normal shifted state he would have never been able to penetrate my skin and I would have killed him within the first thirty seconds. And he knew that. So did everyone else.”

“They all let you fight like that? Did your pack not respect you as their alpha?”

Harry sighed and nodded, “They never respected me. They were always very rigid in their beliefs. They preferred the old ways of doing things. Most packs nowadays are more open and lenient. There are still strict rules we have to follow but tolerance is practiced these days. Not my pack… my old pack.”

“Are you worried they’ll come back and try to hurt you?”

Putting his arms around her low back protectively he pressed his forehead to hers, “I am. I’m worried they’ll try to hurt you too.”

“Even though you’ve given up the pack? And you won the fight?”

“Yes. I wouldn’t put it past them. I’ll do anything I can to protect you,” Harry paused and leaned back to look at Y/N again, “Which is why I think it would be good for us to visit Lester and Alma at the farm for a while. Get away from here for a bit. Just until we can get our bearings and heal.”

The smile on her face gave Harry relief. He wasn’t sure she’d be up for it, but she’d been surprising him since she woke up from her coma.

“That sounds like a really good idea. I’d love to spend more time with Eddie too.”

His heart continued to lob in his chest wildly. She was more than perfect for him in every way. He couldn’t contain his joy to have her in his arms, “He’d love that. Edward is very fond of you. And he was there, at Niall’s practice. With all of us while you were in that bed. He was devastated.”

Y/N nodded and felt awful about putting anyone through such distress. She knew it wasn’t her fault but she could imagine what it would have been like to watch a friend or lover unconscious in bed and not know if they’d come out of it or not.

“... And you? How did you deal with me being in that bed?”

Harry shook his head and let his eye contact falter for a moment as he thought back to how completely ruined he felt, “Felt like I would die if you didn’t make it. Like I couldn’t breathe or eat. I talked to you all day. Kept myself close by your side and encouraged you to wake up. Made sure you were comfortable in the bed even though I knew you couldn’t really feel anything. I didn’t know what to do. Niall kept telling me it was impossible–” Harry inhaled a sharp breath and tried to calm his emotions but his eyes began to fill with tears with just the memory of how utterly hopeless everything felt.

“Hey,” Y/N moved her hands to cup Harry’s face, “I’m right here. And I’m very much alive. We both are. I’m not going anywhere. You saved me.”

Swallowing his tears he blinked and forced the smallest smile, “And you saved me. If it weren’t for you I would be dead right now.”

Y/N leaned in to kiss the gorgeous werewolf. She couldn’t believe she’d gotten so lucky to have him in her life. That he wanted her. She only felt more connected, in tune with him. It was as if the accident had altered something in her soul. She was changed. She figured it was love.

Harry pinched her hip softly and pulled away from the kiss. He couldn’t help it. He needed to be honest with her. He’d told her his truth when she was asleep but now that she was wide awake and in his arms he knew he had to say it that very moment or he’d suffocate, “I love you, Y/N.”

Her lips parted at his admission and she was suddenly aware of her body against his and the way his heart was rapidly throbbing in his chest at the same pace as her own. She felt as if she’d heard him say it to her before. That this wasn’t the first time.

She gripped his biceps tight and felt herself shiver at the intensity of his bright green eyes. He loved her. He truly did and she felt it deep in her spirit. Without a doubt, he loved her.

“Harry, I love you too. So much,” she gasped as he squeezed her tight to his chest and felt him purring against her own. The comfort that brought to her was consuming. She sighed and held him tight, her cheek smushed into his shoulder.

Everything around them was dizzy and soft. She was safe in his arms. She was safe with her lover.

When he pulled back a bit and let his head fall back, inhaling sharply and then howling loudly, Y/N gasped in excitement and couldn’t hold back her tears of joy. She smiled widely looking at Harry in his element, expressing happiness freely and it made her own heart flutter. He looked back at her, his wide smile matching her own, the echo of his wolfish howl still resounding in the cove, and she’d never seen him look happier.

She’d done that. Just by loving him.

The sudden vibrating in her own chest startled her. She looked up at Harry whose eyes were wide as he looked down at her.

“Harry– what…?” She looked down at her bare body, putting a small bit of distance between herself and Harry. The vibrating stopped suddenly as she put a hand up to her chest and looked into the crystal water surrounding them and reflecting the sky above and both their faces.

But then she stilled completely, the ripples on the surface cleared away and she focused on the features of her face, being mostly drawn to the bright golden irises staring back at her in the reflection of the water.

In stunned silence she looked up at Harry before looking back into the water again.

He knew it was only a matter of time. He just hadn’t expected it to happen like this.

A/N: (@fkinavocado and @gurugirl here) The long awaited update is here! Thank you for sticking with us!

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edenmemes · 11 months

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tloz: twilight princess (manga) starters

❝ i was shattered. i lost everything. ❞ ❝ i warned you not to take me lightly. ❞ ❝ we’re partners, aren’t we? ❞ ❝ ever since we’ve met, you’ve been disobedient and rude. ❞ ❝ take suffering as your companion, and unease and fear as friends. if you do, darkness will become light. ❞ ❝ it’s a cold world out there. you’ve gotta learn to trust folks. ❞ ❝ as you stand before me now, you’re all desperation and bravado. that is not true bravery. ❞ ❝ you can’t change your past and you can’t change who you were. you can only decide who you’re going to be. ❞ ❝ resentment is a trap of the heart into which everyone falls. ❞ ❝ you don’t look well. are you ill? ❞ ❝ you were born into life with a destiny. you cannot run away from that. ❞ ❝ you carry a smouldering darkness inside you. ❞ ❝ it’s considered impolite not to give your all in a fight. ❞ ❝ at dusk and dawn...it’s easy for all sorts of things to sneak by. ❞ ❝ since that day, so much has changed for me. ❞ ❝ i’m sorry. it’s been hard, huh? ❞ ❝ a true hero must shoulder a heavy responsibility. ❞ ❝ stay calm. move cautiously and remain vigilant. ❞ ❝ one more time. try telling the truth. ❞ ❝ why keep fighting until you’re just a broken wreck? ❞ ❝ if we start a fight, we must be ready to hit back. ❞ ❝ in the end, it’s easier just to be selfish. ❞ ❝ i was lost without you. i was lonely. ❞ ❝ why do i so often taste this sense of loss? ❞ ❝ i think both our journeys are pointing to the same place. ❞ ❝ power does not inhabit a blade without bravery. ❞ ❝ did you hear something? like the cry of a beast... ❞ ❝ what’s wrong? if you’re too weak, then just leave. ❞ ❝ what is strength? is it displays of power mocking the weak? destroying beauty simply to satisfy your greed? ❞ ❝ you get too worked up over things. ❞ ❝ easy for you to say. i’m the one getting beat up. ❞ ❝ i don’t need thanks. i didn’t do it for you. ❞ ❝ depending on your attitude...i might be able to help. ❞ ❝ if you don’t do as i say, i’ll take your arm off. ❞ ❝ as leader, i will not choose the path of pain and death for my people. i must protect them. ❞ ❝ strength isn’t about power...it’s about being brave. ❞ ❝ you have good eyes. the eyes of a proud beast. ❞ ❝ if the need arises, i will not hesitate to pick up a sword and fight. ❞ ❝ i guessed you had a secret past. people can try to hide it, but nature shows through. ❞ ❝ i was lying when i said i’d never held a sword.❞ ❝ there’s no time for sentimentality. ❞ ❝ if someone comes in who knows about your past, i’ll protect you if they try to hurt you. ❞ ❝ is there something strange about me? ❞ ❝ be careful...there have been monsters around here lately. ❞ ❝ choose...surrender or die. ❞ ❝ when i feel uneasy or afraid i just think: ‘this is my mission’. ❞ ❝ don’t take me for nothing more than a fine doll good only for decoration. ❞ ❝ i’m nothing more than dirt. i’m not worth all that effort. ❞ ❝ why do you think we’re any safer here? ❞ ❝ don’t die on me now. ❞ ❝ ha! even you have a good idea sometimes. ❞ ❝ i fought through all kinds of monsters to get here...and i survived. ❞ ❝ i’ve spent so long looking for you! i’m so glad you’re safe. ❞ ❝ people are always hovering over me...and it’s so suffocating! ❞ ❝ some detours lead to unexpected good luck. ❞ ❝ you say whatever you think...i’ve never done that. ❞ ❝ there is no greater joy than helping a friend. ❞ ❝ what do you mean ‘never mind’? ❞ ❝ these days such peaceful travels are rare indeed. ❞ ❝ wildly rushing into danger isn’t courage. ❞ ❝ didn’t you say there’s something you need to do, no matter what it takes? ❞ ❝ i sense unprecedented danger approaching. ❞ ❝ how do you feel now, looking back upon yourself at that time? ❞ ❝ as usual, you’re a wimp. ❞ ❝ resentment is dangerous. it comes in through the slightest crack in your heart. ❞ ❝ i’d go to the ends of the earth for you. ❞ ❝ it really hasn’t been that long, but you’ve grown into a fine man. ❞ ❝ now is the time for us to take back all that was stolen. ❞ ❝ one thing’s certain --- those aren’t human. ❞ ❝ what do you fight to protect? answer. ❞ ❝ i wish you wouldn’t do such dangerous things. ❞ ❝ if you got hurt due to my mistakes...i don’t think i could live with that. ❞ ❝ why would you do all that...when we’ve only just met? ❞ ❝ it’s a pretty name. perfect for you. ❞ ❝ once your wounds heal, you’ll need to leave right away. ❞ ❝ the hero on his knees! quite a sight. ❞ ❝ how does it feel to be so strong? quite a rush, isn’t it? ❞ ❝ you’re all puffed up on your own arrogance...drunk on your own pride. ❞ ❝ i once wondered how good you are...now i see you’re really skilled. ❞ ❝ i’m not physically strong like you...but my wits, brains and analysis can be helpful. ❞ ❝ don’t say you can’t accept that this is the end. ❞ ❝ you just want to satisfy your own ambition and lust for power. ❞ ❝ it’ll be all right because we’re together. ❞ ❝ why would you leave me at a time like this? ❞ ❝ for the first time i feel like i’m overflowing with incredible power. ❞ ❝ there’s no time for doubt. you are the chosen one. ❞ ❝ your problem is that you demand absolute perfection. ❞ ❝ there is no easy path. but you can definitely overcome it. ❞ ❝ i’m so very sorry. i broke my promise. i hurt you. ❞ ❝ that’s the spirit. hate me more. only then will this fight be worthwhile. ❞ ❝ i thought you were dead. ❞ ❝ well...? say something. or has my beauty left you speechless? ❞ ❝ i never forgot you. not for one moment. ❞ ❝ sorry for killing the mood. ❞ ❝ light and shadow are two sides of the same coin. one cannot exist without the other. ❞ ❝ if you desire something...then that is my desire too. ❞ ❝ who says i’m afraid of you? ❞ ❝ your weapon is little better than a toy. ❞ ❝ all that awaits you is despair. ❞ ❝ i’ve done the unforgivable. i betrayed you. ❞ ❝ i’m here to repay you for what you’ve done. ❞ ❝ since i’ve met you, we’ve travelled a long way...and a lot has happened. ❞ ❝ are you on a journey of self-discovery? ❞ ❝ that was a great strike. if i was a hair slower, you’d have gutted me. ❞ ❝ when i was young, i wanted to be a hero. ❞ ❝ your struggle is futile. ❞ ❝ as you can see, i know how to fight. ❞ ❝ my hatred toward you will not be satisfied by merely killing you once or twice. ❞ ❝ you’ve been through a lot. ❞ ❝ whose side are you on? light or shadow? ❞ ❝ if you run then we’re done for! fight to survive! ❞ ❝ i’m not strong enough. not good enough. ❞ ❝ i must crush your bones, rip out your organs and relish your lingering cries of pain. ❞ ❝ that was close, huh? ❞ ❝ rest now. you don’t have to fight any more. ❞ ❝ i bear this sword so i can protect my home in times like this. ❞

#rp meme #roleplay meme #roleplay starters #i actually havent got my hands on the last volume yet so !! i'll add more when i do

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underfart-snas · 8 months

Text

i’m going to preface this by saying this will be hard to read. for those who have had to deal with a lot of familial trauma, csa, and various other things really. you’re being warned now.

it is not anything fun, light, or happy. i will not answer questions from anyone. i will not stop people from their comments or tags but i will not look at opinions or attempt to change them. good or bad, i’m too tired to change anyone’s minds or matters on the subject. while i am regretful and sorry for many things, i know this won’t change much.

i’m not looking for forgiveness. i'm looking for closure.

i will not argue on how i’m a good person, or how any behavior in the past was justifiable or right. it was wrong. i still fuck up to this day trying to be human. at this point, all i want is to speak up about what i had to go through and why things ended the way they did with hopefully a more clear sense of perspective as to why i made what i did. and then i would like to move on.

flowerfell ended in disaster from all sides. a story i, the friends i made along with it and worked deeply with during it all, held very dear for our own reasons. be it to express the hardship of survival, to cope with the progression of loss, or having hope in finding small things to live for and learning to find love in friendships, family or otherwise that we couldn’t have in life. it was a big story for everyone, and i understand not everyone got the message. people have not been kind. i’ve seen equal sides of good and bad come from it.

i won’t argue about the shipping aspects. people are right in believing i liked what i liked, and whether or not they hated that was up to them. i had my personal reasons and i never intended for it to be a malicious thing, but i understand people’s headstrong thoughts on the canons or otherwise. I didn't like to go out of my way to shove it in people's faces, which is why i scrapped later stories that were pressured to be frans related and instead made them into personal characters.

it’s fucked up seeing people get chased and hurt over fictional things. things that aren’t physically harming anyone, at least when they’re contained properly. things you shouldn’t be actively looking for if you don’t like it. things that people may actually be doing to cope with their own trauma. i watch so many people looking for hate, or reasons to be angry. i think that adds to much sadness overall. i can’t say much for those who don’t go about tagging things properly for those who don’t want to see things other than "please work on that."

when i played undertale, i lived vicariously through frisk as i played. they were quite frankly, a blank slate. i was able to self-insert in a way. due to story aspects, i felt the monsters were like... old old. like ancient beings that lived lives unfathomably long beyond the human lifespan. beyond the passage of time.

i fell in love with characters and aspects and ideas it gave. i fell in love with it’s world, the possibility of other worlds like it, and exciting wacky hijinks. i took interest in others making au's and thought about how i could make my own. what my own life lacked or couldn’t give me. the family and friends i found through it.

toby really kicked everyone’s ass with this one, and i hope he does it again and again. and i pray he continues to succeed. because he made something beautiful.

now for what i had to deal with, during the failed attempt of making my story…

i have had to process a lot of neglect from family and home in recent years. though i’m older now, it still hurts. things still linger and sting harder than they should. they say it gets better but it really sticks and comes back in many ways that make life so much harder than it should be. it’s only made harder when people want you to be better, but it takes time to get there. sometimes people can't be with each other because of it, which is something i've had to learn over and over again. it takes so much time and it takes it away from everything you hope can be good and great in your life.

growing up was a nightmare. i’ve had to grow up with abandonment from my mom. neglect from my dad. i've had to deal with them trying to reach back out and my feelings on whether or not it's deserved. or if i'm even ready to handle it yet. many times i'm not.

i’ve had to deal with surgery to fix my body from disgusting and life ending deformation as a toddler which still leaves scars on my body today. my family has told me i’m lucky to even be alive. sometimes i almost wish it took me, because the world is cruel. but at the same time, i want to live so, so badly.

i’ve had to deal with manipulation and rape from someone almost ten years older than me in household when i was just a child. from five to nine. threats of being compliant and not to speak up or else my life was in danger. being physically trapped for hours while my body was a tool. later this fell onto another child of a caretaker for my sister, which is the only reason i got away from it. so i never got the chance to speak up myself and that effects me to this day. i was told years later this same thing happened to my older, severely autistic sister prior. someone who literally cannot verbally communicate or function without help from another. my grandmother telling me she left before because my father didn’t believe her. this all meaning, this is something that could have never happened.

i've had to handle my grandmother’s physical and verbal abuse for the rest of the those years after she came back to take care of my sister. my sister didn't escape abuse either. i would be stuck listening to her convince me as i got older and barely making it out of school that wouldn’t ever survive on my own. that i would never make it. that i would never find love. that i’d be eating fucking “saltines and ketchup” on the streets. i’ve had to deal with eating disorder because of her and various other disgusting shit i don’t want to add that the fear had made me succumb to. i didn’t leave my room for days at a time unless i was forced to. i didn’t sleep properly, to the point of passing out for minutes at a time. anyone who used to come to streams would know, i used to fall asleep while drawing with my brother. in many ways, my grandmother has made me so functionally stagnant, which is so hard to combat now.

cutting out all the general silliness and nonsense i would make just to smile once in a while, my art and flowerfell was an escape for me. it was a way to express my pain and hope that there was some sort of out. that there were friends to be made and love to be had. family to be found. that if you’re strong enough maybe you can be redeemable and make it to the end. frisk was hope. sans was strength. and all of the friends they were supposed to make along the way were support.

but at the same time, i clearly wasn’t able to handle the scale of what it became. i wasn’t ready for the crowd, i wasn’t ready to make a coherent and straight story, and was too giving and lenient. i wasn't ready for the "godlihood" people were pressing on me when i was just a normal person. it made making real friends a hassle. i didn't know who was honest or using me. many people have used me.

i was scared after it fell apart and got toxic. that people can take and twist and hate no matter how hard you try. i didn’t understand a lot of things back then or how to defend myself. i didn't understand how to combat theft, i didn't understand fiction kin, i didn't understand self care or boundaries for others and myself. i didn't understand a lot of things. i try really hard to understand now.

for all intents and purposes, it was getting septic. i was getting septic at that time and for some time after. and because of that i lost not only my story, but my friends and my sanity. i wasn’t able to keep it together for them or myself. i was hurt and hurting others by proxy. and i am so sorry for it. all of it.

i was only saved by finally being taken away from home by someone who actually took a chance on me. someone who made time for me even when i was getting reclusive. someone who loves me through all of that even if i hurt them terribly in the process, and may even still in all the faults i'm working on. despite everything, they're still with me today.

to this day i find flowerfell hard to look at without feeling various stages of grief. i have many degrees of anger and sadness, at times hopeless acceptance. not necessarily towards anyone anymore, but that i was unable to finish it. or felt i was unable to. that i'm unable to surpass it. that i was so fearful of loss and parts of myself being taken away when i already felt i had so little. how it blinded me to what good i had at so many times. how it’s destroyed my ability to create and fall in love with characters i like or make, and their worlds. no matter how hard i try now. that it’s taken my ability to trust, communicate, and form steady relationships with people. how it effects even those who have stayed and try so hard. that it’s taken my ability to share and feel safe doing so. even with people i'm close with today.

even situations on how helpful it’s been for people over the years, and deeper connections to self or others they’ve found in the progression of time because of it. i’m not unhappy for those who have, i’m grateful that people have found their hearts in it. it was made with unfathomable love and there’s incredible pain on having given up continuing what could have been more. what else people could have connected with or felt. there was so much i didn’t get to share, and got too angry and scared to give.

i grew to believe people didn’t deserve it anymore because of what i and my friends at the time were going through. i no longer wanted to feel hurt. i no longer wanted my friends to be hurt. and i violently took it away into myself, which has hurt me even more over the years.

i want to believe people would have liked the ending, and anything that would come after that. it was going to have a good ending.

later i would find the fear of parts being taken would be connected to discovering plurality in myself, and recently finding out in therapy i’m probably not too separated from my sister in being on the spectrum, adding to all of that and more. i’d have to process that feelings became separated and another struggle to deal with. that i was dissociating from everything so hard these feelings are expressed as their own apart from me, but still with me. that this was my way of not being alone with what i had. it is not a kind thing. while they're like family to me, it is also a cage.

it would take me years to actually discover what this was properly, having to go through a whole ordeal of manipulation and problems from that alone. i would have to deal with them also being stolen and taken advantage of due to complacency and misunderstanding. which has made every bit of fear with what came before twice as difficult. however, i've also had good people along the way, and i hope they stay with me for a very long time.

because of this i’ve learned a lot about systems and kinships and reasons why these exist. how these things can make people feel at home. i have changed a lot of views on it and how these things help people, even if they’re strange at times… i’m not mad about it anymore. if it helps people it helps people. other people are trying to survive too. i just ask people be respectful about it.

i don’t hate fanart or others trying to make stories anymore. as someone who struggles now with even a fraction of creating any amount of work i used to, i’m more glad than not that it’s encouraging people to improve and move forward. but i won’t ever accept discredit because at the root it is mine still. i made this for myself before i made it for others. it will always be a part of me, even if painful now.

i’m just tired. i’m tired and i hope over time i’ll be able to rest.

sigh.

to kaze, your document is faithful and i won’t argue that any of it is wrong or malicious. there was a lot missing from that video that could and should have been added. it wasn't just about shipping, but a lot more. i hope people will leave you and others alone about flowerfell and ship nonsense at the end of the day. especially when your stories were wonderful and aren’t hurting anyone. while we’re not on good terms, i do wish them a very "fuck off and move on."

however, i will not accept the statement that you were helpful to my mental health, or to others involved to begin with. trying to be, maybe, but it faltered.

apart from encouraging anger towards the fanbase either on my or by your own hands, flipping the switch between telling me to keep going and giving up. you fully took advantage of the complacency i had to go through at home to survive and had to unlearn for many years prior. you weaponized your problems at home onto us. this compiled everything, probably for both of us. this would only continue on to my system in many ways.

you actively encouraged suicidal behavior within the group, provoking my brother into a pact at his lowest. you took advantage of me and my brother mentally and sexually. knowing full well of our issues and my own csa, you still crossed lines. doing or sharing things without warning or prior consent and conversation, at times even within public groups. fighting back or saying something about these things were difficult because everyone was sensitive at the time. even if things were jokes at times, it didn't always come across that way.

i watched blind fight so hard for you in many ways even when they were struggling so badly with their own physical health, even staying in the end. i don't know if they're doing well or are still there now which is another string of worries.

what hurt the most is that for years you blamed me for an attempt because i “didn’t love you enough to talk to you or be honest” and held it over my head instead of explaining until the very last second before i left that it was because of home. you continued to comment in ways up until that point, then deleting things as if i couldn’t see logs. every single day i thought you were going to just be gone in an instant without warning. that i and others would lose one of our best friends. i grew so afraid of talking to you because of this. i was scared to hurt people more in anger of that. it is still something that terrifies me to this day.

flowerfell wasn’t the break of our friendship, it was the inability to handle the weight of taking care of someone who was unwilling to work on themself on top of all of that, while being unable to take care of myself at the same time. not being enough. that nothing of what little i could give would ever fix what was happening, and that i was being used as an escape method. much like my brother was. we weren’t good for each other anymore. and while i wanted to keep holding on, many people told me i had to let go and they were right. i'm sorry that it wasn't completely by my own voice that i let go.

i don’t even hate you anymore, if i even ever really did to begin with. the most i get is mad and i may say the word "hate" in anger, and that is entirely my own fault for checking in once in a while to see if you’re still breathing or getting better. because i cared a long fucking time and i think parts of me still do. i can’t say there weren’t fond memories or good times and i still have gifts i won’t throw away. and i won’t discredit that i do see you trying really hard for yourself now, which is a hopeful feeling and all i and others ever wanted. even if we may never speak directly again, because i don’t think that would be good for either of us, i hope it keeps going well.

but i don’t think you have the right to say i’m a bad person as if you weren’t just as bad yourself. you effected me and others just as badly.

we don't have to forgive each other. but i do hope, after a long time, we can forgive ourselves.

just a last little edit:

before you start congratulating someone who added to the entire severity of literally everything, understand this:

we were not driven by her or her alone. this is not her fucking win. this is the result of friends and good people saying we should speak up and needed to be heard for years. this is because we have support we actually feel safe with and finally decided we're fucking tired. we didn’t speak simply because she put out some silly little document. she only added to the fucking misery that everyone else has brought on about this!

this is for ourselves!! thanks! and goodbye! - =D

#flowerfell #flowerfell au #frans #tw csa

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oriandcate · 2 years

Text

The List of Raw Quotes immortalized by the Internet:

“People who value any aspect of creation would do well not to pit gods against one another.”

“Hell is empty, and all the devils are here.”

“I will face God and walk backwards into Hell.”

“Then perish.”

“I have been through Hell and come out singing.”

“Do I look like the kind of man who dies?”

“Do you think God stays in Heaven because He too lives in fear of what He created?”

“To become god is the loneliest achievement of all.”

“You kneel before my throne unaware that it was built on lies.”

“This is Hell’s territory and I am beholden to no gods.”

“Impudent of you to assume that I will meet a mortal end.”

“Bury me shallow, I’ll be back.”

“Take this gift, for the gods surely won’t.”

“One day, you will be face to face with whatever saw fit to let you exist in the universe, and you will have to justify the space you’ve filled.”

“Will you fight? Or will you perish like a dog?”

“Deviation from the norm will be punished unless it is exploitable.”

“You cannot kill me in a way that matters.”

“Pick a god and pray.”

“We deserve a soft epilogue, my love.”

“We are the timeline that God has abandoned.”

“Pick a Hell and rot there.”

“Every day we stray further from God’s light.”

“I survived because the fire inside me burned brighter than the fire around me.”

“I’d sell you to Satan for one corn chip.”

“The risk I took was calculated, but man am I bad at math.”

“If the world chooses to become my enemy, I will fight as I always have.”

“I am a monument to all your sins.”

“It’s not about whether you win or lose. Sometimes it’s about how many pages you add to the rulebook.”

“You’re rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic, my friend.”

“The man who sleeps with a machete is a fool every night but one.”

“I don’t believe in divine retribution, but then life throws people like you at me.”

“God wanted me dead, now you get to find out why.”

“The fruits of the earth do not exist to be worth something to us.”

“I’ve got a date with destiny, and it ain’t gonna end with a kiss.”

“Hostage or not, sometimes it’s nice being held.”

“To sit still is to submit to a god who cannot stand to see such power in potentia mere inches from realizing itself and overcoming him.”

“That sounds like a you problem.”

“…but sadly I am only a little bug and you are a garden.”

“In a society where all adventure has been destroyed, the only adventure left is to destroy that society.”

“How many times have people used a pen or paintbrush because they couldn’t pull the trigger?”

“So hope like hell your captor is an evil man. A good man will kill you with hardly a word.”

“…For they are a scoundrel and a foul beast of fields untouched by green.”

“Do you not think that Satan, too, has some affection for the inhabitants of Hell?”

“Does poetry flourishing even in the cracks and grime of the world devalue its beauty? Is the divine rendered plain when it becomes commonplace? Would you have the sublime subjected to the gatekeeping of a self-serving elite? Better it should be used and misused as us absurd commoners see fit.”

“Lock your doors and windows. God will forgive your absence.”

“I stand here, a fool of my own making.”

“Canon is but the sandbox in which I strike lightning to form glass. Trouble me no more with your quibbling and quorums, lest I grind you to dust beneath my heel and build stories from the remnants of your bones. Avast, foul fiend.”

“In the end, everyone is aware of this: nobody keeps any of what he has, and life is only a borrowing of bones.”

“’It’s not that deep.’ Maybe not originally, but the ground is soft and I’m ready to dig.”

“Ask the moon. Ask what it has witnessed.”

“Some things don’t belong on this plane of existence and the universe conspires to correct that.”

“Weird is a prerequisite to all things good and entertaining.”

“The sunrise has never caught me sleeping.”

“People are trying to be right no matter how wrong they are, I am here, accepting my primal desires.”

“Swear all you want, but the gods have shut their ears.”

“Tis the nature, curse, and cure of humanity to be forever attracted to the abyss.”

“If you hit a mole over the head for long and hard enough, eventually it learns to mind its own beeswax. Keep whacking.”

“If we built a tower of Babel, in this day and age, no one would stop us. We would build, and build, and one day inevitably breach the gates of heaven. And we would send in a probe, and then an exploratory team, clad in hazmat suits and protective gear, to enter the gates, and lo! before them would be a great, winding mass, a crumbling chitinous mountain range, a swooping winding wormous cavern, pale and sickly and turned to dust. And we will understand why no one stopped us: it will be the exoskeleton of God.”

“I must make time fear me most.”

“My third eye is open but damn it needs a monocle.”

“Some sins follow us, trotting along and planting themselves in dark corners, high shelves, gathering dust like a forgotten potted ficus, forever a part of the inner scenery of our minds. They thrive there. In the dark. Knowing we will someday stumble in. This is why ‘tis unwise to explore the inner chambers of our souls.”

“Ideals are made of gold and light, but human lives are made of blood and tears, and spill with slippery ease; choose carefully what hills to build and die upon.”

“I shall dig my very own shallow grave. Onward.”

“Confidence! A fool’s substitute for intelligence!”

“Weird hill to die on, but at least you’re dead.”

“Our paths may have crossed briefly, but you’ve still had the misfortune of knowing me.”

“What’s a little blood and bone? We all come down to it, in the end.”

“I could set the world on fire and call it rain.”

“War allows us to dress our monsters up as saviors, and many would say I’m one of those monsters.”

“You haven’t learned anything until you learn monsters have nightmares too.”

“To live is to haunt.”

“Can’t shake the devil’s hand and say you’re only kidding.”

“In the future, you will stand at the grave of God which I dug, weeping, and I will be the only creature you will be able to answer to. You will beg for death, but due to what you said today, I will deprive you of that luxury.”

“I wanted rain and I thought the best way to do that was to make God cry.”

“Love is dead and never existed. All you did was betray me as I lay sick and festering. You are the definition of dread.”

“Here’s the thing about a haunted forest: it’s not going to haunt itself.”

“Your skull is the garden where fact flowers into meaning.”

“I shall use your voice for violin string and serenade your widow.”

“If God had wanted you to live he would not have created me.”

“I’ve heard it said that we only gain wisdom through suffering, and tonight I intend to make you very wise.”

“If I cannot bend heaven, then I will raise hell.”

“Remember that if you go knocking on enough doors asking to see the Devil, eventually he may answer.”

"No one of honor is interred here. The dead are raw materials, and nothing more."

"That there is a feller what sat down on a snake in the grass one day, and it ain't crawled outta his asshole yet."

"Pay a man enough and he'll walk barefoot into Hell."

"All these moments will be lost in time; like tears, in the rain."

"To feel sorrow is to deserve peace."

"No one will know the violence it took to become this gentle."

"There is no light at the end of this tunnel; so it's a good thing we brought matches."

"The answer to despair is action."

"You'll be reduced down to a single atom when I'm done with you."

"What's at the end of a million? Zero, zero, zero; big old hole, with a wall around it. That's all a bank is, you know: a great big old hole you throw money into, and all it ever seems to do is make the walls higher."

"Always strive to eat the stars."

"Why would you want to savor the taste of poison?"

"The brave may not live forever, but the cautious do not live at all."

"It is better to die standing than to live kneeling."

"The anger in your heart warms you now, but it will leave you cold in your grave."

"Darkness without light is an abyss; light without darkness is blinding. You cannot have a coin with one side."

"We can't have faith for everybody."

"Kill me and live with the memory. Then tell the stars you won."

"To rend one's enemies is to view them as objects: hollow of existence and meaning."

"Your soul sparks with a nonsense that makes this world bearable."

"He ain't one of the creatures God made."

“The unconscious hides in a language like a thief hides a diamond in a chandelier.”

“I just know no fruit has ever tasted as sweet as the ones I ate while bleeding under the blistering summer sun.”

“I pray nobody kills me for the crime of being small.”

“That’s the problem with gods; their pleasure and their wrath often look the same.”

“If I am killed for simply living, let death be kinder than man.”

“Stupid should hurt.”

“do you think god is nuclear. do you think you cannot look upon deities the same way you cannot look at the center of a mushroom cloud. do you think the energy generated from fission is released from divine clutches. do you think that god exists in the space between the nucleus and the electrons and in the bonds of compounds and in the numbers on the page that got us there. do you think radiation is a warning. do you think it is an eraser. do you think it is wrath or a mistake or a byproduct of entropy. do you think god is plasma, where electrons are wherever you want them to be. do you think that we were supposed to find this out.”

“If you aren’t worthy enough to pull the sword, be strong enough to lift the stone.”

“I can’t go to hell. I’m all out of vacation days.”

“Despite everything, its still you.”

“The more you kill, the easier it becomes to distance yourself. The more you distance yourself, the less it will hurt. The more easily you can bring yourself to hurt others.”

“My mother says kissing a man without a mustache is like eating eggs without salt.”

“A character is a ghost, a story is what it haunts.”

“Pain travels through families until someone is ready to feel it.”

“The gods did not breathe the breath of life into us and give us gifts of a shape, a will, and a voice just so we could pay bills and die”

“you gotta have friends who are older than you, not because you’re a dumb kid, but because you’ll be terrified of growing up otherwise.”

“you’ve made me so hard i beg for softness”

“Scorn is more palatable than the howling hunger for things to have been different for you.”

“Being able to endure something does not equal an obligation to withstand it.”

“To live is to haunt.”

“I am a chewy rubber Polly Pocket skirt and God is a four year old girl.”

“The big picture is made up of brush strokes, fool.”

“Hearts are wild creatures, that’s why our ribs are cages.”

“these are old bones and i am merely a passing occupant”

“The board is getting dusty but the boogeyman has not yet blinked. when he does, you better make that move.”

“And when we kill the gods neither heaven nor hell will be waiting for them because they created those to imprison us.

“What makes a man a warrior is his willingness to place himself between what he holds dear and anything that threatens it. This is the way.”

“The anchor gives the ship the world to love.”

“In a society where adventure has been destroyed, the only adventure left is to destroy that society.”

“You pretended to be the hero of a story you never saved.”

“this world is a banquet of knowledge and each of us has brought a dish to the table.”

“This is the time of vengeance and no life is worth saving.”

“The ghosts that inhabit this place are more alive than you’ll ever be.”

“May the only thing that dampens the flames of hell for you be God spitting in your face.”

#quotes #writers on tumblr #source: tumblr #raw lines #pinterest #ao3 #fanfic #fanfiction #wattpad #writing #spy kids #halo #destiny #comics

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pamela-lntt · 2 years

Video

TMA if it was a video game with multiple dialogue choices that lead to different endings.

- CREDITS -

+ sfx: Slapping Everything (YouTube); cognitu perceptu (Pixabay); AldebaranCW (Pixabay); kbism (mechanical keyboard simulator)

+ music: Chosic (website)

everything was animated in ClipStudioPaint EX (yes, including the text)

This is Tumblr, so I can actually write my full idea yippe ! (read it all under the cut)

I have no clue on how to make a video game, but for some reason this whole story/idea manifested in my head like a video game, so...

Here’s the story:

Post-MAG200, Jon gets sent back to Season 1 but his only memory of the events of the podcast are feelings of deja vu on certain events followed with gut feelings that something is wrong.

He keeps this all to himself until (or if you choose a different dialogue option, he never shares) he asks Martin if this has happened to him too while they’re trapped in Document Storage. “I feel like I should [tell you about the deja vu], like you’ll understand.” and he learns that Martin does understand, that this has been happening to him too. “When Prentiss trapped me in my flat, my first thought was ‘not again!’ But, as far as I know, I’ve never been trapped in my flat before!”

Anyways, in short, the game would have 3 paths:

1- play exactly how it goes in the podcast, the events, consequences, and dialogue are exactly the same.

2- through bad dialogue choices, make the whole cast die (like the beginning scene i animated, that’s a bad dialogue. Sasha would be angry and her anger would get the better of her and might knock Tim down a bit too harshly and then run off to Artifact Storage to escape Prentiss. Tim wouldn’t be able to think as clearly, so when he escaped to the Head Archivist office, he wouldn’t find the extra CO2 canisters, etc etc.)

3- everyone survives thanks to Jon’s intuitions and the player’s knowledge of the events

As you can see, at the moment I only have in my head how it would go in Season 1... I think the game, if it ever existed, would only tackle the main events of each season because there’s a lot that happens in the podcast (S1: Prentiss attack, S2: Destroying the Table and Not-Sasha [if Sasha dies] + Leitner meeting, S3: The Unknowing, The Dream [when Jon is in a coma], S4: Getting Martin from The Lonely [if he works for Peter Lukas, I think there’d be past choices that could influence his decision]) All of these would happen differently, or not at all, depending on past choices and endings for each Season.and if by the end you either die in one of the events or cause the eyepocalypse, then the game rewinds like a tape and you can start over. The good ending would be that the Eyepocalypse doesn’t happen at all and everyone survives, because you coud have the Eyepocalypse not happen but Jon being the only survivor (which is influenced by relationship statuses that derive from choices you make, if someone dislikes Jon, they’re more likely to die)

Anyways... yeah that’s pretty much it at the moment. Again, I have no experience making video games so don’t expect this to be a real game any time soon. Most I will do is make more “fake screenrecordings” of this game if I ever get more ideas (and notes on my phone or sketchbook on dialogue and story which I do have, but won’t share unless I decide to animate them or write a fic instead)

Okay! thank you for reading all of that if you did and I hope it was at least a good way to pass the time! Back to actually doing my college work-

#tma #the magnus archives #pam.animates #jonathan sims #martin blackwood #sasha james #fake videogame #tma: deja vu

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queerlyvictorian · 2 months

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I don’t do this often, but Ep. 22 of The Wizard, the Witch, and the Wild One requires me to get out these thoughts the instant I’ve finished the episode. Sneak peek: it’s about Suvi…

SPOILERS BELOW, SO BEWARE THE NOT CAUGHT UP FOLKS

Brennan’s take on prophecy continues to drive me insane. Steel argued last ep that diviners are susceptible to illusions, but I was still so high off of my love of Uncle Sly that I only really listened to her this time around — a good diviner is one who is right 51% of the time. I was taking for granted, given the leeway Sly receives, especially regarding his finances, that wizards put so much stock in his abilities that his words should be taken as gospel. But Steel is an example of exactly what Sly said about why he isn’t respected. You can’t receive acclaim for stopping tragedies that never come to pass. Steel’s doubts about the relability of divination are so in line with her obvious pragmatism. and have also given me a more balanced view on the prophecies we received in “Later Than You Think”… which will also give me a way to sleep at night regarding the fact that Suvi now feels so incredibly far from joining Ame at the Coven of Elders meeting now. I can tell myself that Sly could have been fooled, or wrong about how certain he was that Suvi needed to be there…

Brennan had Sly say things that felt true, but I don’t doubt that there was also some powerful understanding of the world that went into them. I didn’t know exactly what it would mean that Suvi wouldn’t receive permission to leave, but then we saw in this ep and it just made sense. Through an understanding of the changes to the Citadel that were coming, and an understanding of Suvi’s character (esp. her dynamic with Steel), he saw that he had a way of keeping Suvi still. Just have Steel give her a direct order. Suvi saw what happened the last time she was made to disobey Steel by her friends. So she’s not following this time. Not only that, but she tries to bring them back to her. Suvi told Sly that she understood that they wouldn’t let her leave, but being confronted with the actual circumstances in the moment meant Aabria had the opportunity to (in my opinion) lean into the storytelling by (as she put it) making “big swings.”

As he predicted, the way Sly told Suvi the prophecy about her departure and her importance to Ame’s survival didn’t affect her in-the-moment decision. It isn’t a situation where knowing the prophecy helps make it come true. To me it smacks a little of the original etymology of “prophecy” as a diagnostic device. These are true (if somewhat vague) statements about how the world tends to function. Which means that they don’t play a huge factor in the decision-making of Suvi, as the character of the trio who is of the world and molded by systems in a way our Witch and our Wild One are not. [EDIT: And, as Aabria herself pointed out in the comments in this post, the prophecy wasn)t explicitly about the Citadel, which means the ultimate manifestation of that prophecy caught Suvi off guard]

Aabria (@quiddie) made an incredibly hard RP choice by making the decision that was correct for her character, in spite of her awareness that the choice would make her job as a player so much more difficult.

And I love her for it.

#queerlyvictorian posts #aabria iyengar #unbelievable #brennan lee mulligan #an unspeakably taleneted crafter of story worlds and their reasonable consequences #this is an appreciation post #worlds beyond number #the wizard the witch and the wild one #worlds beyond number spoilers #the wizard the witch and the wild one spoilers #suvirin kedberiket #wwwo #wwwo spoilers

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kuroosdarling · 2 years

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𝕽𝖔𝖔𝖒 𝟏: 𝕱𝖗𝖆𝖓𝖐𝖊𝖓𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖎𝖓’𝖘 𝕷𝖆𝖇

♡‧₊˚ starring: Dr. Akaashi

‎♡‧₊˚ cw: mdni!! unprotected sex, thigh riding, slight power play (akaashi acts as a mentor), manhandling, praise, double penetration

kinktober m.list

a/n: please please let me know if i forgot any tags. super nervous for my first kinktober fic but here we go !! thank u nesi for reading through all this and hyping me up LMFAO. i hope you guys enjoy it hehe

Honestly, you barely even wanted to come to the Halloween fair this year. It would’ve been another cruddy festival filled with hollow spooks and lame costumes. But your friends had insisted, and you were a sucker for them so here you were. They had decided to race off to the sketchy looking ferris wheel while your fear of heights had you deterring from the attraction. Instead, you headed towards the haunted house.

Everyone had said it was the scariest yet, but since it was run by the volleyball team on campus, you weren’t convinced. It would be something to pass the time while your friends rode a few rides. Maybe you could get your thrills in a different way.

“Good luck. All you have to do is complete the experiment, outrun the killer, survive the werewolf, break out of the torture chamber and somehow escape the underworld.” The guy at the counter said, sliding the ticket towards you.

“Oh is that all?” You roll your eyes, picking it up. It should be a piece of cake.

“Oh and don’t die.” The blondie that sold your ticket gave you a wicked smirk, softly puffing his cigarette smoke in your face as he gestured towards the double doors that led to the house. The house itself looked like a basic haunted house with faint ‘scary’ music playing in the background. Flashes of light and distant screams filled your ears as you looked onward. A crow sat by the front of the door and squawked at you as you made your way down the path.

As you walked towards the door, you heard the distinct buzz of a walkie talkie, but paid no mind as he was probably just alerting the staff that a new victim was walking into the house of horrors. Little did you know…

Opening the door, it felt like you were the only one in this whole makeshift building. The first room was obviously a spoof of Frankenstein, completed with the lab and even a fake body on the table. There wasn’t anyone even around which checked out since this was just a small little fair. They probably didn’t put much effort into it.

Something pricked at the back of your neck, raising the tiny little hairs that laid there. You easily shake off the feeling, trying to cool the rising nerves that flooded your system. A couple steps further and you could make it to the other side of the door, going through the door to the next room.

A resounding boom and a flash of light caused you to jump in your place. A slightly crazed looking man with glasses and a lab coat flew by you, muttering something under his breath as he made his way to the table with the fake body. Only it wasn’t fake, the body rising slowly as it groaned loudly. The man in the lab coat laughed maniacally before turning towards you, chanting something about he was alive.

“Why hello there. You’re just in time. Would you be interested in being my little test subject?” He asked, tilting his head to the side. For some reason, you couldn’t move your feet. The initial fear had stuck you in place but it was slowly rolling off of you as you took in his attractive appearance. His deep blue eyes burned with a spark that had you transfixed on him. The man made his way closer to you. “What’s wrong? Can’t speak? Maybe I can run another experiment on you then.”

“What?” You breathe out, looking towards the man that was getting off the table and slowly shuffling his way towards the two of you; his white hair shimmering in the low lights. You had slightly recognized him from one of your classes. But the Doctor himself was unrecognizable.

“Oh, so you can speak. Excellent.” The man waved over the ‘monster’. “I’ve been working on experiments and I think it’s time to move on to the next stage. This is my life’s work. But I'm going to need him to have more human interactions. Would you be able to help?”

What kind of haunted house was this? You should’ve high-tailed it far away by now, but the skit had seemed so immersive that you couldn’t break away from the scene. The look the doctor was giving you seemed so sincere that you couldn’t help but fall into his trap.

“Sure. What do you need me to do, Doctor?” You asked, looking up at him. His eyes immediately darkened, absolutely pleased with your eagerness to

help.

“I’d like to release him into the wild to live among the people. But in order to do that, he needs to have social interaction beyond just me. I can only teach him so much, I believe a woman’s touch would be perfect for this next experiment.”

With the look that they were giving you, it was easy to tell where this was going. Biting back a smirk, you nod your head with your bottom lip trapped between your teeth.

“Let’s start somewhere simple. Would you be able to kiss him? Then we can see what progresses from there. This is for science, mind you, so just let whatever happen, happen. We need a full report on the expanses of pleasure.” He said, taking a slight step back as the ‘monster’ took another step forward towards you. His golden eyes sparked with delight and recognition as he took in your figure.

Not sure who was supposed to make the first move, you decide to step closer, gently holding his face and bringing him in for a kiss. Obviously, this monster had a little experience as he quickly slipped his tongue into your mouth, letting out a small groan as he felt your tongue glide against his.

His strong arms wrapped themselves around you, pulling you closer. A sigh escaped your lips as you lost yourself in the kiss. For someone who just came to life, he sure seemed to know what he was doing. His kiss was overpowering, backing you up against the wall.

It was all escalating so quickly but all you could do was run with it. His touch against your skin was hot, deliciously igniting a flame in your core. What made it even better was the eyes that watched you from a distance, taking in every second that unfolded in front of him.

He hiked you up against the wall, pressing his knee up between your legs dangerously close to the spot you needed him most. A whine escaped you, flowing from the back of your throat right into his mouth. In return, you swallowed the deep groan he let out. Your hands run through his hair, pulling him even closer, but it wasn’t enough. Desperate for some more friction, you start to ride his meaty thigh, relishing in the pleasure it was bringing you.

“He’s going to need to learn more than just kissing, isn’t that right, Bokuto?” The doctor called out to the two of you. The ‘monster’ named Bokuto nodded his head against your lips before pulling back, searching your eyes for something. You look over at the doctor, who’s eagerly looking back. You nod at both of them.

“I’ll help you guys with whatever you need. He needs to know what pleasure is, correct? Or am I misinterpreting the experiment, Doctor.” You feign innocence. you weren’t sure how far they wanted to take things but you’d be lying if you said you weren’t game. The doctor took a step forward towards the two of you.

“Correct.” He said slowly. “You can call me Dr. Akaashi, by the way. I want you to teach him how you need to be prepped before participating in the art of pleasure.”

You nod at him and look back at Bokuto, who was still staring down at you. Suddenly, everyone was on the same page and tension flooded the room, wrapping itself around your throat. The only solace you could find was latching your lips against Bokuto’s. Pulling him in for another searing kiss, you take a hold of his hand and trail it up your thigh to where the hem of your skirt lies.

“You can go ahead and take these off.” You purr, bringing his hand up further up to where your soaked panties were. Bokuto’s breath hitched in your mouth, his fingers curling against the fabric before ripping them down. The sudden cold exposure had you shivering in his hold. “Good boy.”

Bokuto relished in your praise, immediately moving his fingers toward your glistening folds. You gasp out as he slowly slips a finger in. His finger was bigger than you expected, the stretch already feeling so good. Bokuto’s lips crash against yours again, swallowing up any moans you let out as his finger stretches you out. It was hard not to buck into his hand, so you let your instincts take over. In response, Bokuto slipped another finger in, seeing how riled up he could get you.

“It looks good so far, but I may have to demonstrate the next few steps as they get increasingly more complicated.” Akaashi said, his presence suddenly coming into view as he steps beside you and Bokuto. His hand circles around Bokuto’s wrist, pulling his fingers out of you. You whimper at the loss, looking at Akaashi for your next direction. “Why don’t we try putting more than a finger in, hmm? Then we can have our dear Bokuto join us.”

“Yes please.”

Bokuto stepped back as Akaashi took a step closer to you; suddenly filling all your senses with so much as a dark gaze, the blue that used to take up his eyes had morphed into a color so deep you swore there wasn’t any blue left. There was a small moment of hesitation before Akaashi reached for your hand, placing it right on the bulge of his pants. You let a small gasp and you run your hand over it lightly, the coldness of his zipper almost stings your hand away but you move forward, slowly unzipping them as you hold eye contact. No one dared breath too deeply as you fish out his hard cock, standing tall and already oozing with pre.

He moves your hand gently before spitting in his hand to lube up his aching length, stroking it firmly before lining the tip up at your entrance. It already felt so hot against you — you couldn’t help but grind against it , letting out soft whimpers that filled the room. With a deep breath, he takes it and slowly pushes in, groaning as he slowly enters you. His head dips down so he could get a taste of your lips, the thing he had been craving since you had first walked into the haunted house. He couldn’t let Bokuto have all the fun, and your lips were just too soft to let up. The moment he bottoms out, the two of you groan into each other's mouths. The stretch felt so nice. His cock was lengthy and reached a part that was so deep in you that you didn’t know it could be touched. He hiked up your leg around his waist as he had you still pinned against the wall and started to move his hips slowly.

His hips slowly started moving forward, pushing into you at an increasing pace. Bokuto let out a soft sound at the sight, feeling somewhat left out. Your head turned, breaking away from Akaashi’s plush lips, much to his displeasure. Bokuto takes it as his chance to reclaim your lips. All of your senses felt fired up, you felt so full but it still felt like you were missing something.

“Bokuto, I hope you’re paying attention to how I’m doing this because – fuck – because you’re about to join us.” Akaashi breathed out, trying to hold back any moans that threatened to spill from his lips. He wanted to keep up the appearance of the calm and collected doctor but the way your cunt was gripping him had him struggling.

“There’s no room, though.” Bokuto pouted, breaking away from you. He and Akaashi shared a menacing look before Bokuto grabbed onto your hips as he slipped behind you, pulling you closer.Instead of being pinned against the wall you were now pinned against Bokuto's broad chest. Akaashi’s cock chased you, trying to keep its place inside of you as Bokuto manhandled you around, trying to fit into the intricate puzzle the three of you were creating. Bokuto’s cock pushed against your backside. “Think you have room for one more in that pretty pussy of yours?”

“Please-” You whimper out. There’s no way that Bokuto could fit his girthy cock in you, but you figured you let him try anyway. Akaashi kept thrusting into you, squelching sounds filling the room. Akaashi spit into his hand again, but this time he grabbed a hold of Bokuto’s cock, sliding his hand over it to get it nice and wet before he tried to stick it inside of you. Luckily, Bokuto was dripping with his own precum which only helped the situation.

Bokuto slides his cock against Akaashi’s and prodded at your entrance. Your body tensed as you felt him trying to make his way in. Bokuto cooed in your ear, rubbing all along your body in soothing motions. Akaashi whispered sweet nothings in your ear as he stilled his hips, waiting for Bokuto to hurry up and for you to give him the okay to move.

Inch by thick inch, Bokuto made his way inside of you. Akaashi kissed all along your neck, trying to soothe any discomfort that the stretch had brought on. Their cocks rubbed together inside of you, deliciously splitting you open. You already felt so full even though he hadn’t bottomed out yet. The stretch of both cocks had you seeing stars, clenching around their cocks as you came around them.

“Shit.” Akaashi murmured, “That was so hot. Good girl, good fucking girl.” As you came undone, it only made it easier for Bokuto to bottom out. Now, both cocks were fully seated inside of you. “Ready for us?”

“Yes.” your head lolls back onto Bokuto’s shoulder. Your eyes trail up to Bokutos golden ones, locking into place. “Please fuck me.”

They didn’t wait for any further confirmation as they took alternating strokes into you. One would pull all the way out as the other pounded into you. It all happened so fast that it felt like they were continuously fucking themselves into you. Your hand clutched onto Akaashi’s firm bicep, holding on as the two chased their high. At some point, your feet weren't even touching the floor anymore; properly finding yourself sandwiched between the two men.

Even though you just came, you felt your next high building up incredibly fast. One of them must’ve noticed because you felt a hand slither down to your clit, rubbing slow circles along it. It was all too much so you weren’t even sure which one it could’ve been.

“Bokuto, remember that when you’re with a woman you have to focus on this spot here.” Akaashi spoke out, his finger increasing the speed, causing your back to arch against Bokuto. “Let me see your hand and we can do this together. I want to make sure you learn correctly.”

Bokuto didn’t say anything but you could tell by his grunt that he understood. Seconds later, you felt a thick finger and a lithe finger play with your clit as they had continuously pounded into you. It was all you needed to reach your high, letting out a long moan, you tighten against both cocks as you let your high run its course.

Instead of cumming inside of you, both men pulled out at the same time, causing your feet to finally land back on the ground. The sudden emptiness had you whining out but you quickly shut your mouth as you saw the scene in front of you unfold. Both men had pivoted towards each other, their tips almost lining up as they stroked their cocks at a furious pace. Almost at the same time, they came onto each other, a beautiful sympathy of groans filling the room as they reached their peak together. There were a few moments of silence as they stared each other in the eyes before their gaze landed back onto you.

Akaashi gave you a kiss on the shoulder while Bokuto kissed you on the head. One of them gently massaged your thighs as the other murmured the sweetest praise in your ears.

“Thank you for showing Bokuto the pleasures of life.” Akaashi pulled back, giving you a subtle smirk. “Your effort in our scientific research doesn’t go unnoticed.”

“Exactly! Now you can continue on your journey and spread your legs.” Bokuto beamed at you. Akaashi hit him against the shoulder.

“He means your knowledge. You can spread your knowledge.” He shook his head with a soft smile on his face. “You gonna be okay for the next few rooms?”

You smirk at the two men as you adjust your skirt.

“Oh, I think I’ll be just fine.”

#⁺. ʚ now streaming:#little darlings kinktober #akaashi keiji #akaashi x reader #akaashi keiji x reader #akaashi smut #haikyuu smut #hq smut #haikyuu x reader #hq x reader #bokuto koutaro #bokuto x reader #bokuto smut #akaashi #bokuto #haikyuu imagine

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myguidingmoon-light · 4 months

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“And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in swaddling clothes, and laid him in a manger; because there was no room for them in the inn.” (Luke 2:7)

No room. That’s something I’ve heard too much lately. Palestinians have been hearing that for 75 years. Since they were driven out of their homes—more than 700 000 of them—in 1948 to make room for the colony of Israel, there has been less and less room every day. Less land, literally, as even though lines and walls have been drawn over the years, Israel continues to illegally settle in Palestinian land. Less room to breathe, as the population of Gaza grew within the illegal blockade walling them into a tiny strip of land. Less room to live now, as Gaza has been under constant attack by Israeli bombs and guns and while the civilians of Gaza are pushed by this violence into even smaller and smaller “safe zones” (though there is nowhere safe in Gaza right now).

But also no room our conversations. No room in our imagination. No room in our understanding of our world of “human rights” and “developed nations.” You’d think “Palestinian” is a slur for how quickly it shuts up (or heats up) dialogue. These are our neighbours, and it feels like pulling teeth to get people to engage with their humanity—let alone ask their MP to ask our government to ask Israel’s government to please stop bombing civilians for the third month straight.

Today we recognize when a Jewish Palestinian family was forced by the state to leave their home, shelter in unfit terrain, give birth without proper medical care, survive a massacre, and become refugees. We Christians call the baby born in that family Emmanuel, which means God with us. God was born in Bethlehem, behind the border wall, in an occupation. What does that tell us about who God is?

Our Christian siblings in Palestine have asked us not to let this Christmas pass as usual. To that, I ask, what is Christmas as usual? If we don’t see our neighbours in the story of Jesus, what is the point? If we need to put the real, genuine injustices of the world out of our mind so that we can be comforted by Christmas, we are frankly doing it wrong. The point—the whole point—is that love and justice are possible for the unloved and the oppressed, even when it doesn’t feel that way. It is our responsibility to make that happen, and we can’t do that with our eyes closed.

You should feel uncomfortable about celebrating Christmas while a genocide is going on. We need to have room for that. We also need to have room for the hope that Christmas represents. We need to have room in our hearts for justice, lasting peace, and a free Palestine, because we are all needed to make it a reality.

And for God’s sake, CEASEFIRE NOW!

“He has brought down the mighty from their thrones/ and exalted those of humble estate;/ he has filled the hungry with good things,/ and the rich he has sent away empty.” (Luke 1:52-53)

I am indebted to Rev. Munther Isaac for his wisdom in helping so many of us walk through this time. Personally, I just finished his book “The Other Side of the Wall”—if you are a Christian, you have to read this book. I’ll buy you a copy if you want.

I also want to note that this post isn’t really supposed to be an explainer or an argument. I didn’t cite anything here, but if you’re curious about anything I referenced (e.g. why did I bring up medical care?), send me a message and I’d be happy to give you more details about what’s happening in Palestine. I’m no expert, but I know some people just genuinely don’t know the extent of the injustice and don’t know where to learn more; if you have questions I’m happy to help, but I’m not here to fight with you.

Same deal if you want to help but don’t know how. I’m happy to give you some ideas and even help you out with them (distance permitting). One important action you can always take is contacting your Member of Parliament. You don’t have to write anything fancy—just tell them honestly how you’re feeling and ask them to support an urgent ceasefire. This is literally your right as a Canadian, so you don’t have to worry about doing something wrong.

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peculiar-potato · 3 months

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raaaaaaaagh teaser image for the among us animated tv series dropped and I just have to scream about it and analyze it a little bit

(Source)

My ramblings under the cut:

I like the art style! It’s a bit different, I was expecting something closer to the game style/style of images they post on social media and stuff where it’s very clean with sharp lines, but I think this works really well for what it seems like they’re trying to do here. I like the lineart and the kind of texture everything has? It adds a lot to some of the other stuff I’m going to talk about here.

First of all, the atmosphere. Again, really kinda different from what I was expecting, but in a nice way! I was expecting kinda like a clean, cool-toned, space-age look, but this gives me a lot more like run-down office vibes and I am HERE FOR IT.

The warped ceiling tiles? The dirt and grime? The bent blinds over the window? The burnt out light by the window and different colored fluorescent lights like one of the bulbs was replaced? It feels like I’m in some old corporate building that hasn’t been properly maintained in years, which is so different and so fun from what you normally see in a spaceship and totally matches the vibes of (at least what I headcanon to be) a sketchy space corporation.

I also love all the little details here.

The little food window and vending machine so the cafeteria is actually a cafeteria, the pizza with who knows what kind of toppings on it (why is it green?? I’m so curious), and the fact that everything is held up with duct tape- even the fire extinguisher? It’s so fun I love all of it.

This is also actually a really faithful adaption of the map. Like, I know, of course it is, but I know things have to get changed a lot for animation sometimes and they did a good job of keeping it very similar.

I am going to be that guy and point out a few differences but just because I think they’re neat and interesting!! Not at all bad!

(At least between this and the classic game, I’ve never played Among Us VR)

First of all, the trash task and wires task actually swapped sides, on the map, the wires are on the left and the trash is on the right, but here it’s flipped. I also can’t find the download data task, unless it’s supposed to be the tv? Probably all just aesthetic choices but kinda interesting!

There’s also the big food window and the door, but if you look at the orientation of the walls of the room, it actually checks out! The door and window would be against the left wall, where you wouldn’t actually see it looking from the angle in game.

The vending machine isn’t there in the game, at least on the Skeld map, but that’s ok the beans deserve their snacks! I did notice there’s kinda a panel behind it so I’m counting that as the panel that’s on the right wall next to the download task being there (even though it’s definitely too small to be that). That and the wires are actually on the slanted wall, but again, I don’t care, this is just me pointing out every difference like an I-spy challenge.

Also the cafeteria tables have stools now instead of benches, and I kinda like that! I also like the stripe of kinda a maroon-ish color added to the tables and stools, really kinda ties together well with the walls and such. And the floor, thank goodness they did something about that floor for the animators’ sake. I like the original floor design but I know firsthand just how hard that floor is to draw, especially at an angle.

I don’t know how to really speculate on the party stuff other than I’m intrigued haha. Maybe it’s like they’re celebrating taking off and surviving or being the only crew with no impostor attacks or something (of course that’s implying a lot about the non-existent lore) and then everything goes wrong? Maybe the red is pizza sauce or ketchup and we’re being misled for the funnies?

I’m kinda hopeful about the humor here, with the “we’re not dead” banner and stuff, I’m really hoping this will be something I’ll enjoy too as an adult and the vibes I’m getting from this are encouraging. Like maybe a kinda workplace dark comedy?

I’m also sososososo curious about what we’ll get in terms of characters (I WANNA SEE THE BEANS SHOW ME THE BEANS) and worldbuilding and lore here, eeeeeeeeeeeeee

Ok, I’ll stop for now, but you know I’ll be following this very closely lol.

tldr: not entirely what I was expecting but I like it and the direction it’s going a lot :))))))

Edit 2/3/24- just noticed there’s no emergency meeting button??? Is it under the pizza?? Has it not been installed yet?? WHERE IS IT 👁️👄👁️

#among us #among us animated #among us tv show #not my art #analysis post #maybe?#no id

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tacobellabeanburrito · 16 days

Note

hey it’s anon — you’ve become my go to rec person, which is why I’m here to ask if you have any recommendations for short and sweet fics. Been looking for some bedtime stories :^)

Awwww, really!? That’s super cool. I’m glad I’ve been recommending good fics!

(Also, Anon, you’re the one that asked about Steel Samurai fics right? Well, I started reading this one called “A Brief For The Defense” by Ophelia_Writes on ao3, so check that one out cause it talks about what you were looking for a while back!)

(Also. I was searching for Christmas fics in my bookmarks just because the Christmas fics are usually the ones that are short and sweet, but now I’m really in the mood for Christmas how dare you Anon)

“Office-Appropriate” by cursedwurn: A hilarious Halloween fanfic that I adore. Featuring all the prosecutors in different costumes. Has an office sitcom type feel (People are seriously, SERIOUSLY, missing out on writing a prosecutors office sitcom type deal. For some reason, sitcom style doesn’t work for the Wright Anything Agency and mainly only works with the Prosecutors Office)

“Disrupting The Calendar” by 3musketears: Also a cute Christmas fic. I’m currently trying to find fics that are short and sweet and I found this one again in my bookmarks and as I started reading it to check if it was good I just kept getting into it and reading it. So yeah, good fic!

“Germination” by Ekat: I JUST READ THIS ONE. Omg, it’s soooo adorable. And absolutely hilarious. You just have to read it, really. It’s short and you can probably guess the real plot from a mile away but I don’t wanna spoil anything because I was so happy when I figured it out. It’s adorable.

“Court Record Companion” by rib14: I Remmeber revealing in this fic when I first read it. I’m also a big sucker for certain fics where the story is told by posts, texts, tweets and photos during the course of the story. There’s something so absolutely funny about it.

“Support Player” by Pirate_Jenna: A really good Larry centered fic. I have already mentioned in detail about how Larry has been done bad in lots of fics and in the games, so I am very partial to fics that are centered on “Good Friend Larry”. BECAUSE HE IS.

“Meet Me Down The Aisle” by bluemoodblue: I’m a true sucker for wedding fics, and this one takes the wedding cake! I’m also a sucker for wedding fics that go wrong. And this one also takes the wedding cake!

“This Christmas (I’m Gonna Risk It All)” by Samiolioli (Samioli): A really cute Christmas fic taking place during a holiday party! It’s all about Phoenix confronting his feelings for Miles, and I remember it being hilarious.

“Not What I Expected” by motivationisfortheweak: A Valentine fic set in an alternate universe where Miles and Phoenix go to high school together. Short and sweet, but Phoenix is sooo dense.

“Monster Movie Monday” by contritecacite: A breakaway from the norm! A Klavier centered fic about him getting a boyfriend and making amends with one Phoenix Wright.

“There Is Time To Kill” by realizationtime: Oh, oh bbg. You weren’t survive after this fic. “Maybe we were never meant to be older than nine”.

“A Fool For You” by bluemoodblue: ADORABLE!! It’s a Narumitsu one. I loved this one when I read it. It’s so funny and so perfectly them. Read it.

Ok so, there’s a couple that I personally really like but can’t find in my bookmarks. There’s this one where Miles and Phoenix are stuck in a mall during Christmas, it’s a newer one I know that. It’s absolutely adorable and I fully recommend it if you can find it.

There’s also a really cute one that I remember with Miles and Phoenix as kids making each other Valentines cards, and there’s even a very lovely sequel where they’re older and Trucy finds the card in Phoenix’s stuff! It’s not recent, but I read it recently. It’s very adorable.

Another fic I really like is one where Miles is a worker at a prestigious art museum and gets fired. Then he moves to a small town and ends up with Phoenix as a roommate. It’s actually really, REALLY adorable and pretty funny too. It gives me warm fuzzy sunflower vibes.

OK SO there’s this fic that I remember reading a long while ago, and it’s this one where Phoenix and Miles go to a Steel Samurai orchestra concert and make proposing to each other into a competition. It’s pretty hilarious and I fully recommend it if you ever end up finding it.

AND LASTLY (I think) there’s this fic that’s pretty unknown? I think? It’s absolutely CRAZY. I had no idea what was happening when I was first reading it. I really don’t wanna spoil any details in case you find it on your own. But long story short, through mystical Magatama fuckery, Phoenix and Miles end up in their own weird, fucked up worked where they’ve forgotten all their memories and are married. Characters like Trucy, Gumshoe and a lot of the others try to get them out of their own heads and it’s soooo cool and I read it pretty recently but I can not for the life of me find it. It’s really good and super interesting. Has the exact same vibes as “Perfect” by SideBlog (so if you find it, Fic Anon, I full heartedly recommend it)

ALSO IF ANYONE KNOWS THE FICS IM TALKING ABOIT IN THIS SECTION. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DIRECT ME. They’re soooo good.

These are ones that aren’t short and aren’t really sweet but that I feel should get highlights because I didn’t mention them in my other post (I don’t think):

“Everything That I Have Ever Learned Leads Back To This” by kbots: Oh. Oh this one is… Oh my goodness. SAD. I actually cried while reading this one. Like. Holy shit. Good luck not crying while reading this. It’s amazing and should have more hits.

“All The Better To See You With” by bluemoodblue: OH. Oh. I love this one. We love Trucy hating Kristoph. (Fuck Kristoph Gavin, all my homies hate Kristoph Gavin).

ANYWAY! That’s about all of them, for now at least. Again, full recommend looking at my bookmarks on A3O for other stories because this list isn’t even half of the short and sweet ones I’ve read.

AND! Also, if anyone knows the fics that I talked about in the, uh, other half of this fic ref lists where I don’t know the names but only know the stories. PLEASE DIRECT PEOPLE TO THEM IN THE REPLIES!! Or at least tell me or something cause they’re good.

Good luck reading Anon! Ask again if you need anymore recs! ;>

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awesomesaurous · 10 months

Text

-rant, please excuse the salt-

I really wish Don’t Starve Together was a different genre of game. I know that’s stupid because the objective “Don’t Starve” is the whole foundation of it, but I kind of just wish I could take the look and the loose story and make it more of an adventure and less of a never-ending survival game. I think in the Hamlet DLC for the base game, the “town” aspects of it scratched that itch a little bit, but I want more. The interface could even look exactly the same. I played the demo of Cult of the Lamb, and that game has a similar top-down 2D look to Don’t Starve, except there are in-game “cutscenes” and you have dialogue options which advance the creepy little narrative. Hollow Knight was good with this too. It’s a metroidvania, so there’s no crafting at all (I don’t consider status upgrades to be crafting), but like most RPGs with a silent protagonist, the story is furthered through exploration and interaction with NPCs. Some people love survival games, and I enjoy them quite a bit, but I like them to have an endpoint. The Flame in the Flood has a brutal difficulty curve, but it does reward you for your persistence, and it’s by no means impossible to beat. The journey takes you further and further along a river which at first seems endless - but it does have an end, and that’s what I want, I guess. Closure.

Hades is one of the most enjoyable games I’ve ever played, and the main reason was how much you are rewarded, even for failed attempts. You might totally choke on a run, but even so, every time you venture out you’re gaining more darkness/gems/etc that you can invest back into your stats and weapons. As in - there is no wrong way to play the game, you will move forward and improve no matter what. I love that. DST has finally dipped into this territory with Wilson’s skill tree, but I think they ought to give every character a similar mechanic. The skills would be specific to each character, and I think would give players more of an incentive to do repeat runs. At a certain point the whole game gets boring, and depending on my mood I sometimes boot it up, think about all the trees I’m going to have to cut down, and then immediately close the game, because I’m sick of doing virtual chores.

Stardew Valley was so addictive for me that I had to delete the game to get control of my life back. That game is nothing but farming and chores, yet I didn’t get tired of it. I think that’s because if you want to, you can ignore any aspect of the game you don’t care for, and time will pass anyway. You can spend all your time farming, or just mining, or focus on relationships with NPCs. Obviously with Don’t Starve, you can’t ignore food because starvation is an ever-present threat.

I also don’t give a damn about boss fights. I never have, in any game. I’m always eager for them to be over so I can get back to actually enjoying the game again, but nope I have to hit this thing 1000 times without getting permanently killed. Don’t Starve’s fighting system is shit, and it always has been. The hit boxes suck, and the fact that I need to download mods just to see health levels for the enemy is ridiculous.

I’ve had a lot of fun with DST, but I think I enjoy the fandom stuff more than the actual game. Same with TF2. It’s pretty fun to play, but I enjoy watching SFM videos and stuff like that more than playing the actual game. Don’t Starve has such fun characters and such an appealing style that it draws people in, and the animated shorts promise this wider world and a more intriguing story that isn’t in the actual game. Most players won’t even get to the cryptic hints at the story that are in the actual game (the Ruins, etc) due to the difficulty curve.

There’s a lot of creative energy and highly imaginative world-building, but when are we going to see it put to use? If anybody has any thoughts on all this, feel free to leave a reply.

#game dev #just some thoughts #don't starve together #dst #don't starve #hades game #stardew valley #hollow knight #the flame in the flood #cult of the lamb #team fortress 2 #tf2

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feather2004 · 1 year

Text

Who is macaque’s killer and why I think it is Peng

Okay so I know this has been a source of discussion within the fandom basically ever since Macaque’s backstory got revealed. But I’ve got a pretty good case as to who I think the killer is and why it’s not Wukong.

For starters we already know that one of the shows developers has stated that Wukong and Macaque’s relationship is full of misunderstandings, and one of them was hinted to be Macaque’s belief that he was killed by Wukong.

Now dear reader there are many possible culprits for who could’ve done it however, based on the evidence the show has given us thus far and what we know of the possible suspects I have narrowed it done to three main suspects.

Suspect number 1 Wukong

He’s ruled out for obvious reasons, number one it’s almost confirmed by the creators that Wukong is innocent, but there is other evidence such as.

Number one: Wukong doesn’t react the way a normal person would to finding out someone you killed is most certainly alive.

He’s not shocked to see Macaque during his debut episode in season one, at least not the way he should be if he new Macaque was dead. He seems just angry and annoyed to see him, especially after all this time which would imply that Wukong most likely believed Mac fled during whatever battle they had and survived.

But we know better, now you could say that perhaps Wukong and him met up before that episode so that’s why he’s not shocked. This explanation however, dose not convince me since we have no idea how long Mac’s been resurrected for for all we know he could’ve been alive for a few months before meeting MK.

Plus it just doesn’t seem like Mac to immediately rush off to fight the man who killed you to moment he comes back. No it’s far for likely he waited, hid and schemed for a possible opening to attack before confronting Wukong, and a brand new Monkie Kid who’s inexperienced with his new powers and easy to manipulate now that’s a perfect opportunity.

Number two: it wouldn’t make sense from a writing point to make Wukong the killer, it’s obvious that they’re trying to make this version of him more kid friendly and having your main characters mentor brutality murder his best friend is not the way to do that. That and it’s obvious the writers are setting up for Mac and Wukong to reconcile it would be really hard for that to happen if Wukong just straight up killed Mac, that’s kinda something you can’t come back from.

So yah from all logical standpoints it makes no sense for Wukong to willingly be the killer, and if he is he had to have done it unknowingly or at least against his will.

Suspect number 2 The Lady Bone Demon

Okay so I get why people would think it’s her but honestly, there’s absolutely no way it’s her, and think my reasons for thinking this are very valid.

Number one: she would have no motive to do so or opportunity.

This I feel I’d quite obvious if we look hard enough at the story, it’s stated in her backstory that she was defeated by Wukong and sealed after she tried to kill the whole world. But nowhere is it stated that she new Wukong or had beef with him before this, in fact it wouldn’t make sense for her to as she was busy with her mission and it’s implied that Wukong and the gang were sent in as a last resort and succeeded on their first try.

So, how exactly would she have been able to mess with Mac and Wukong’s relationship when she was imprisoned? My guess she wouldn’t have and even if she could why would she waste her time targeting Macaque when she was most likely focusing on trying to escape her prison. And I know the chains look like hers but there’s no reason that those can’t be ghostly underworld chains, plus we don’t know if that ability is exclusive to her.

And if I’m wrong about the original battle timeline she still would have no reason target Mac since it’s very clearly implied that almost no one new of him aside from Wukong and the brotherhood. I mean he wasn’t a very flashy demon and he kept to himself mostly so how could she have known about him. And even if she did who’s to say Mac wasn’t already dead by the time Wukong and her fought.

Plus it just isn’t within character for her to do this, Lady Bone Demon is all about logic and is usually quite impersonal with her victims she isn’t the type to needlessly torment someone. She’s cruel yes, but she’s not sadistic at least not to the point of destroying someone’s relationship and killing their best friend.

Remember her core motivation as a villain is to end all suffering, in an extreme way yes but that’s still what she wants.

Number two: it would also narratively be underwhelming for it to be her.

If I’m wrong and she is the one who did it, well wahoo I guess she’s already dead so there’s no karmic justice that can come from this revelation. She can’t be punished or yelled at or anything really, she’s gone it wouldn’t mean anything if it was her.

No it would make way more sense for the writers to pick someone who is alive, someone who the heroes can bring justice against a new juicy villain to write all kinds of interesting character dynamics with.

And that brings us to our final suspect, the one who I actually think did it.

Suspect Number 3 Peng

Now this guy, this guy is the kind of person who would kill Macaque: we already know that he and Mac have a heated rivalry at least on Peng’s side, we know that he’s bloodthirsty wanting to kill MK the moment he met him because he was to powerful to let live and we also have a perfect opportunity for him to commit the crime. Plus he just screams filthy backstabber from his voice to his design.

He has motive, opportunity and the skills to accomplish such a task.

It would be incredibly easy for someone like him to kill Mac, one we know it’s most likely that Mac died during the brotherhoods fight against heaven that Wukong was present for as he was shown there during the flashback. Two two the battle was probably hectic and could have easily given him time to slip away and attack an unguarded or unconscious Macaque during the battle leaving everyone else none the wiser.

Three we already know that Mac and him were fighting about whether Wukong had betrayed them or not plus it was clear in the flashback that Mac was in the brotherhood for Wukong and didn’t actually like the others except maybe DBK and Azure. So it would make sense at least in Peng’s mind that Macaque was a liability that would betray them the moment Wukong asked him to, so it’d make sense to kill him when he had the chance and save the brotherhood two mystical monkeys against them.

It would be the perfect plan to him, plus the idea of killing Wukong’s best friend and the immense pain it would cause the monkey would probably just be a bonus to him. The only reason why he might’ve not is because Azure would have disagreed but as I’ve stated before the battle would have been a good cover as everyone else would be distracted fighting their own battles, plus Peng probably thought he could convince Azure it was for the greater good with the reasons I’ve listed above.

Not to mention this has AMAZING story potential, just imagine Wukong finding out one of his of friends killed Mac imagine what’d that do to him: constantly pondering on how he could’ve prevented it why was he so blind ect.

And on Macaque’s side we’ve got this eternal rival who he thought was his ally but instead was the knife in his back all along, that could be a great villain vs hero dynamic.

Even Azure would be tested if he found out, questioning the brotherhood’s integrity and if his actions are actually morally correct. Imagine the strain that would put of his and Peng’s relationship who are shown to be particularly close.

To me it just makes perfect sense for Peng to be the killer. So yah that’s my theory it was Peng all along.

#lego monkey kid macaque #lego monkie kid wukong #lego monkie kid #lego monkie kid azure lion #lego monkie kid peng #lego monkie kid lady bone demon #lego monkie kid lbd #lmk spoilers #lmk sun wukong #lmk analysis #lmk theory #lmk macaque #lmk azure lion #lmk peng #media analysis #theory

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toomanyopinionss · 7 months

Text

I want to talk about

Surviving Summer

(nonspoiler/spoiler)

hey y’all, it’s been a minute since i’ve done one of these. let’s get into it…😏

So i genuinely like this show. Just finished watching the second season, in fact.

I feel like it’s the good amount of cheesy and adorable and mind numbing without being too formulaic and basic like some of these Netflix originals tend to be. Now it can be annoying and cringy sometimes, don’t get me wrong. But it’s got some pretty good actors and actresses with enough heartfelt moments and playful scenes to make one feel content. She’s not a top ten, but she never tries to be, you know??

As for the show itself? Surviving Summer is the perfect name for it, because Summer the character? a HOT mess. I cannot stress this enough, the frontal lobes on that one are not fully formed. It’s especially apparent in season 1. Even so, i love her 🥰. I cant help it ok? She has the confidence that i dreamed of having in high school, and now tbh.

I won’t go to deep into every character, but let me just say this: they will ALL annoy you at some point. It’s so obvious that they’re teenagers, cuz they childish. But they all care about each other most of the time, and surfing. It’s a great summer watch! go for it, don’t be shy

7.5/10. Surface level fun with shenanigans galore and annoying teenagers.

SPOILERS

Y’all the second season was gooood. I liked it better than the first tbh. Summer, like i said before was much more serious and focused, but it didn’t change her personality at all, which i loved.

I liked how they got more into Bodhi’s conflicts with surfing and the racism in the industry on her end. If anything, i wish they had time to do even more with it. Because everything else they did with her character this season was just bleh. A half hearted conflict between poppy blown WAY out of proportion and a half assed queer relationship that was cute but barely touched on because hottake Netflix hates their wlws and their black main characters 🤭(oop who said that)

Poppy and marlon were cuteeeee. sidenote, who else forgot that bodhi and marlon had a thing, cuz i sho did 👀. they have such good chemistry and it just warmed my heart. SPEAKING of good chemistry…

✨“summer have you seen yourself?”

summer and baxter are the only mf choice, im SORRY.

immediately side eyeing anyone who says that summer and ari should be together, because i’m not sure you and i watch the same show. another steaming take, but I never bought into summer and ari. they are too sibling for me. i was taken ABACK when they kissed in season one. I genuinely did not see it coming. they play off each other nicely, but in a romantic way? NOPE, i don’t buy it.

but from the first scene with baxter and summer, i knew. it was intense. the casual touches, the instant bind they formed, the way bax looks at her 🤭…

you cannot compete where you don’t compare, Ari is not the one 🤷🏾‍♀️

anyone else? hmmm…

oh, y’all join me in a big FVCK you to Elo and Wren. they both suck actual ass and i hate them both.

it’s the way that they treat everyone like shit equally. even their own brother? like what the fvck is wrong with them?

like especially wren. being jealous and overly competitive is one thing. but they way she handled the bodhi situation, plus the way she outed her old teammate? literally bordering on racist and homophobic like wtffff. maybe a lil psychotic too, cuz why is she literally a threat to summer’s life? don’t take it out on her cuz your boyfriend is an indecisive disaster. at least they didn’t give wren a redemption, i would have been so pissed off like fvck her.

ok this is getting long. tldr, Season 2 was entertaining and fun. poppy and marlon were cute, summer was awesome, ari does not need a girlfriend, justice for baxter, and wren and elo will not be seeing the pearly gates.

#surviving summer #surviving summer netflix #netflix #2023 #sky katz #summer x baxter #summer x ari #poppy x marlon #baxter radic #summer torres

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softxsuki · 11 months

Note

Hi! Hope you’re doing well. I was hoping i could make a urgent request for something? :)

TW - Self harm

I’ve been clean from sh for a few weeks now but I recently lost count of how long It’s been, and for some weird way that just makes me want to relapse even more. My head is just too loud lately and I’m still dealing with a loss of a friend so everything is just really hard lately. It makes me feel weak and even more undeserving of every good thing I have in my life. As if I don’t deserve to be sad about anything just because I have all the necessitates to survive.

If I could, I was hoping to make an urgent request with Rengoku? With what he would do to comfort gn reader after he finds out that they self harm. A small scenario I had in mind is if he like, accidentally nudges reader’s arm, hitting one of their still-healing sh wounds. And Rengoku, being the sweet guy he is, gets curious and gets reader to tell him about it so he can comfort them

Of course, if you for any reason don’t want to write it, feel free to ignore this, but if you do decide on writing it, take your time and thank you so much in advance :)

Rengoku Comforting Reader with Self-Harm

PLEASE DON'T READ IF MENTIONS OF SH WILL MAKE YOU RELAPSE AND DO YOU MORE HARM THAN GOOD

Pairing: Rengoku x Gn!Reader

Warnings: mention of self-harm, wounds, scars, feeling down

Genre: Comfort

Post-Type: Headcanons

Word Count: 910

Summary: In which Rengoku finds out that you've self-harmed and gives you his support in response

[A/N: Hey! I'm sorry you lost a friend! That's never easy, but it does get better as the days pass so hang in there. I promise it gets better. Thank you for trusting me with your urgent request! I've decided to write all my urgent requests as headcanons because it helps me write them a little fast for you guys, so I hope that's okay! I do hope that this provides you with some comfort through the tough time you're having right now. I'm here if you ever need anything <3. Enjoy!]

Rengoku:

As we all know, Rengoku is the sweetest man out there–he’s literally perfect

So essentially, he’d have a perfect reaction to this of course

You were outside with him, doing some sparring with a few swords he had hanging around; it’s something the two of you did together for fun whenever he wasn’t actively on duty as a Hashira

It gave him the chance to train you so you could defend yourself a little if a demon were to approach you while he wasn’t around, but you found yourself enjoying the quality time together, doing something he has dedicated his life to

Though as he steps behind you to correct your stance, grabbing your wrist to fix the way your arms are positioned, you wince back in pain

Self-harm was a way you dealt with the pain in your life–it had become something you’d relied on in your loneliest, darkest moments

Specifically moments when Rengoku wasn’t around, like that night when he had to rush off to fight a demon in a neighboring village

Things had been hard aside from always having to be away from him, so this was your way out

Rengoku releases you immediately, and apologizes for hurting you

He initially thinks he accidentally grabbed your wrist too hard, but the guilty look on your face proves otherwise

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes anyways with sincerity. He had been the cause of your pain, whether it was because he held you too tightly or not, he wanted to apologize…and maybe his apology ran even deeper than that

“No, you didn’t do anything wrong! I’m sorry for being over dramatic like that,” you don’t want him to feel bad for something that you did on your own

Your fresh wounds were still throbbing from the sudden contact, but you tried to hold in the pain

Rengoku doesn’t respond, but gently, he holds out a hand, signaling for you to pass him your arm

“May I?” He asks, wanting to see the wound for himself

You hesitate, you trusted this man with your life, so why were you questioning whether this was okay or not?

You knew he’d never treat you differently or make you feel bad about doing what you did to yourself–if anything maybe he could offer a solution…

You decide to allow him to see your arm quickly before you changed your mind and chickened out

He lifts your sleeve slowly and beholds the jagged lines on your arms–proof of the turmoil that’s been clouding your mind over the past few months–evidence that you had been fighting a battle within yourself

Rengoku’s face stays the same, a small smile graces his lips as he looks at you, not an ounce of judgment within them, just love, like usual

“I see you’ve been fighting some pretty hefty battles on your own. A warrior just like me…though it seems your fight has been much more difficult than mine. Please allow me to treat your wounds from battle just like you’ve done for me so many times.”

You agree wordlessly, allowing him to softly wrap your wounds and treat them so they stop throbbing

A comfortable, yet heavy silence falls between you both

“I’m sorry…” you apologize once again, scared of what was going through his head, but Rengoku was honest and sincere as he looked at you with a smile like he always did–nothing had changed

“There’s nothing to be sorry for. I am the one who’s sorry–for having you fight this battle on your own. If you allow it, I’d like to know why.” He was genuinely curious, not meaning to sound nosey or judgemental at all

So you do

You open up to him about everything that has been eating away at you for a while now; from the smallest of things to the overwhelming things–you said it all

And he listened to every word silently, nodding along and humming in acknowledgment, wanting you to know that he was following what you were telling him

“I suppose life can be overwhelming, sometimes it throws everything on us all at once. I’ve been in your shoes before. Feeling like everything was against me and feeling utterly alone in my household until I eventually found my place with the Hashira, but things at home were always cold. I know this is just one chapter in your life that will move on. And as any chapter goes, this is something that will become your strength in the future. Something you’ll learn from as you grow into an amazing person. I know it. Just know that I’m here and you’ll never be alone. No matter who leaves, I’ll always stay.”

They were words you really needed to hear. Knowing that he wasn’t upset about what you did and was still willing to give you his support meant the world to you

“Thank you…I’m still working on it. I keep falling back into these old habits, no matter how much I don’t want to do it and end up regretting it afterwards,” you explain

“No need to be so hard on yourself,” he ruffles your hair and leaves a comforting hand on your shoulder, “These things take time. Healing internally is a huge battle, but I won’t let you go through it alone. You’ll get through this.”

No matter how hard the days ahead of you got, it was comforting knowing that at least you weren’t going through it alone

Rengoku would always have your back

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Posted: 6/8/2023