#I’m extremely flattered‚ fellas

[cornedbeefhashtags]

What a minute.. who's crushing on my Cornedbeef Hashtags? I've been here following you for years; enjoying your adorable face, gorgeous smile, those deep beautiful eyes, amazing hair and that phenomenal sweater collection.

First name: Cornedbeef

Last name: Hashtags

Age: Years

Eye Color: Deep

Hair Color: Amazing

Occupation: Sweater collector/phenom

#this was a very sweet note #But TWO secret admirers?! #I’m extremely flattered‚ fellas #Do I detect a little anonymous rivalry brewing? 👀

[greenorangevioletgrass]

hi for the song blurb week for the actress and the aviator, i am a whore for anthony ramos so hit me with one more hour please 🙏🏾🙏🏾

bro anthony's cute af and the first album SLAPS! hope you enjoy, and please reblog if you like it! <3

warnings: language, a lot of banter, fluff, smut [dirty talk, cockwarming, penetrative sex], they're idiots in love and NOT on a date ur honor <3

***

Rooster doesn’t like thunderstorms. It reminds him of shitty flights (if he’s even cleared to fly at all), and as much as he hates it, puts a real dampener on his mood.

Although tonight is a little different.

Sure, outside, it’s just like any thunderstorms hitting San Diego at the end of the year. But within the confines of his apartment, the girl sprawled out naked on all fours in bed, taking all of his cock inside her, makes it just a little nicer.

“Is the rain making you mellow or something?” you sass him over your shoulder. “Don’t slow down!”

He flips you onto your back, a playful smile blooming from under his mustache. Only you can look commanding even when you’re caged underneath him, your tits in full view.

“Oh, we’re in a jackhammering mood, are we?”

You grimace at his unappetizing choice of words. “Not how I’d put it, but if it makes you get a move on…” you wrap your legs around his waist, not-so-subtly pulling him closer.

“See, I don’t like that. I won’t stand for your peer-pressure,” he declares matter-of-factly, surprisingly unfazed by your… distractions, considering how the tip of his cock sits snugly at your entrance.

“Oh, fuck off!”

“And now you’re bullying me! You know what?” he bottoms out inside you once again, and fuck does it feel good. The air is heavier, and his voice drops just a little lower, but he continues, “I might just stay here and… not move at all.”

“Really? Like a sit-in protest?”

“Exactly. Like a sit-in protest.”

You shoot him a sarcastic look. “You seriously think you can put your dick inside me and not do anything about it?”

In that moment, he feels you clench around him—and fuck, you must’ve noticed it in his face. How his breath stutters for a second. And if he wasn’t such a prideful fella, he would’ve admitted defeat a long time ago.

“Well, you might be the best pussy I’ve ever had, but I’m also incredibly patient…” he pins your wrists down on the mattress with one hand, his lips nearly grazing yours, “...and extremely petty.”

He kisses you deeply, hoping to God or whoever’s listening that you somehow didn’t hear the throwaway compliment that slipped out of his mouth. But the way you chuckle into his lips indicates that you certainly heard him.

“Aw, Roo-Roo! I’m so flattered,” you coo. “And you are… solidly in the upper-mid tier of all the dicks I’ve had.”

He gasps, scandalized. And with that, he begins thrusting in and out of you to make a point. “I’ll show you upper-mid tier dick.”

Rooster may be incredibly patient and extremely petty, but you’re also deceivingly smart and strategic in getting what you want. It makes sex and everything around it so much fun that he almost… doesn’t want it to end.

And as the thunderstorm rages on outside, there seems to be no sign of it ending.

“I’m starving,” you announce from the bathroom, reemerging in his old Academy t-shirt. “Do you have anything to eat?”

“Your pussy?”

You flip him the bird and saunters out of his room.

When he does put on pants and follow you out, you’re already milling around his kitchen like you know your way around. Grabbing ingredients from the fridge and putting pans on the stove. It’s a pretty cute sight, seeing you in his clothes, making grilled cheese in his kitchen. And as he moves to set the plates on his coffee table and put on a movie, it feels… awfully natural.

Domestic.

Lovely.

“So, uh, I know the weather’s been… less than ideal,” he pipes up somewhat gingerly, “But it’s been a nice date so far.”

“What?” You’ve never whipped your head so fast, and it never fails to amuse him how flustered you get whenever he brings this up —and he brings this up every time now. “No! This is not a date. No dates until we wrap, remember?”

“Right…” he drawls out, taking the last bite of his grilled cheese. “This whole ‘dinner-and-a-movie’ thing… not a date. Got it.”

“That part’s unplanned. I only came here to get laid.”

“Mm, and how’s that going for you?”

“I told you. Upper-mid tier dick —ow!” you yelp, squirming away as he tries to pinch your sides. You frantically try to swat him away as it turns into a tickle fight, “Get away from me!”

It’s nice that the whole ‘no-dating-until-we-finish-filming’ has become an inside joke between you, having been brought up often enough that it stops being the elephant in the room. The fact that the wrap date is approaching pretty quickly actually makes him —and unbeknownst to him, you— excited more than scared.

“How is it still raining at this hour? I need to get home!” you groan, glancing at the clock, trying to divert the attention from the fact that you lost the tickle fight.

And without batting an eye, he just shrugs, “Just stay over.”

“What?” It’s simply something you don’t do —at least, not on purpose. Work starts really early, and you really don’t want to explain to your PA why they’re picking you up at Lieutenant Bradshaw’s apartment instead of your own.

“You’ve already made yourself comfortable in my shirt. Might as well,” which is really just his way of saying, I’m actually having a really good time and I don’t want this to end just yet.

And it never ceases to amaze you how disarming he is, and how easily you get lulled into his charms. You really should tread carefully. “You sure?”

“Good thing this isn’t a date, right? Otherwise it would’ve been so awkward.”

You flip him the bird and he pokes his fingers to your sides again, as if trapping you underneath him like this would make you stay. As if you need any persuasion to stay.

#the actress & the aviator #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw x reader #bradley bradshaw x actress!reader #bradley rooster bradshaw #rooster imagine #rooster x reader #bradley bradshaw smut #rooster smut #ava writes

[anya-chalotra]

hello my love, idk if you've had one of these before but: this is a content creator appreciation! list five favorite sets you've ever made and send this ask to five other content creators 🧡 (bc you need to appreciate your stunning works of art and admit you are a photoshop wizard ok byeeee)

@ughmerlin​​ asked: hi ava!! this is a content creator appreciation! list five favorite sets you've ever made and send this ask to five other content creators 🧡

@time-turner​​ asked: hi ava!! this is a content creator appreciation! list five favorite sets you've ever made and send this ask to five other content creators 🧡

@lamberts​​ asked: hi ava!! this is a content creator appreciation! list five favorite sets you've ever made and send this ask to five other content creators 🧡

@mayaslopez​​ asked: helloooo 🌻 content creator appreciation!! list five favourite sets you've made and send this ask to five other content creators! (no pressure tho!)

Fellas. Pals. Beloveds. I am... *squints and does double take* uh, two months late to the party. In my defense, which is an admittedly shoddy defense, it is taking about eight years to catch up on the couple weeks’ worth of messages I’ve been behind on. I am but a snail or a turtle, though one that is extremely flattered, and as such I did not want to leave these to collect more dust.

Answering all of these in one go because I do not think I can come up with 25 whole ass sets, being as nit-picky (as well as overtly critical, not to mention indecisive, not to mention forgetful, et cetera, et cetera) as I am. However! In an effort to practice the self-love a certain sorceress here is preaching, I’m forcing myself to compromise by picking some honorable mentions.

1. The Witcher Songs: I don’t know if anyone besides me will look at something they’ve made and go, “Huh, I will never top that.” But I’ve thought it about a few creations over the years, and as it stands, this set’s been the ‘unbeatable’ one for a year and a half. I’ve toyed a lot with the idea of recreating it, and I think I finally will when the new season drops, but it’s been a special set to me since it was one of those ‘milestone’ ones where I started branching out and seeing what methods in graphic-making I could apply to gifs.

2. This is kind of piggy-backing off #1 since that’s technically a poster set as well, but The Witcher Posters. Drove me insane, the whole lot of them. I fluctuated between “insanely frustrated” and “insanely proud” so often that by the time I finished any of them I was just insanely glad to have them off my hands.

3. Certified OT3 enthusiast that I am, I have made many a set for the chaotic trio, but I think I’m particularly proud of this times of day set and this eclipse set. For all the mixed feelings I tend to have about my own work, I do take pride in coming up with potentially-unique ideas and bringing them to life.

4. The Witcher ⨯ Twelfth Night by Shakespeare: There is legitimately an entire (albeit unfinished) set in my drafts of The Witcher and Shakespeare lines, but I had wanted to do something with this particular quote for literal ages because it felt like it fit Ciri, Yen and Geralt so well, and I’m really proud of how it turned out?

5. Little Red and the White Wolf: Another idea I didn’t get around to for a long time, but nevertheless a super fun concept to play around with. I remember it taking a while to get the reds just so since Ciri’s outfit is a whole wham-bam of blue-green, but I think I did a decent enough job in the color-shifting department.

Honorable mentions would probably go to this Yennefer set, this Geralt and Ciri set, and this recent Geraskefer set. Maybe. Or maybe I’d just give honorable mentions to all the meme and shitpost sets I’ve made, like this malewife/girlboss/manwhore set or this BDSM set.

#i never know whether to go with more recent sets or older ones or go for a general approach #so then my brain completely blanks on every set ever #yenvengerberg #ask ava: an organizational tag and not an advice column (unless it needs to be)

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

Meeting and Dating Specs

(Please ignore how awful my gif is)(Requested via message)

(I’m so sorry I haven’t posted in a while!)

- You met Specs while walking to work in the morning. He was out selling his papers when you and a few of the other girls you worked with passed him.

- He quickly snatched the hat from his head as you walked by, eyes seemingly locking onto you even though you were in the middle of a small crowd.

- The two of you met each other’s gaze and without meaning to, your steps began to slow. A small smile found its way onto your face before you hurriedly made your way back to your group. As you reached your friends sides, you spared one last glance at the boy over your shoulder. You were secretly pleased to see that he was still watching.

- Normally Specs wouldn't linger in a selling spot for too long unless it was raking in a good profit. But let’s just say that he had a bit of an ulterior motive when returning to the area.

- Day after day, you would continue to see him while making your way to work. Your friends began to tease you about it, grabbing your arm and giggling in your ear as you passed him. You felt flattered by the attention but you still wondered if he was actually attracted to you and if so, was he ever going to approach you?

- It was after about two weeks that he finally did. You passed his usual selling spot in the morning and found that he wasn’t there. So, with a little dash of disappointment settling in your stomach, you headed off to work and went about your day.

- You walked out the doors of your work at the end of your shift, wiping your hands on your dress and pulling the hair from your face. It was then that you saw him, his body leaned casually against the wall of the building besides yours.

- He kicked himself off of the wall once he noticed you, pulling the hat off his head as he made his way over.

- He tries his hand at a polite, gentlemanly introduction, fiddling with the hat in his hands as he spoke. He “confessed” that he’d been watching you “for a little while now” and explained that he wanted to get to know you more.

- You smiled and agreed, glad that he had finally decided to try his luck with you.

- Your first date was that same day. The two of you walked around town together, getting to know each other and sweetly flirting. By the time you had to return home, you had already promised to see him again the next day.

- The two of you shared your first kiss on your fourth date. You’d been sitting together in one of the many alleyways of the city, recounting different stories from your day when you started to notice him looking closely at your face.

- You ignored it for a while, figuring that he was probably distracted by a smudge of dust or paint, something that often found its way onto your face after a long day. It wasn’t until you began to walk home together that you finally learned that there wasn’t anything on your face.

- The two of you were just about to say goodbye when he hesitated for a minute, glancing down at what you finally comprehended was your lips and asking if he could kiss you. Now, how could you say no to that?

- Pda wasn’t exactly very common back then so the two of you keep your affection to yourselves for the most part. Although the newsies are far less worried about public decency and reputations, Specs in particular is trying very hard to be a gentleman for you; at least in public.

- Forehead kisses as he wraps his arms loosely around you, keeping you close to him.

- Never ending pecks on the lips. He’ll keep moving in for another one unless you push him away.

- He’s sort of a geek compared to his fellow newsies; he doesn't do nearly as many crazy stunts as them. Maybe he’s more mature, …or maybe he’s just less coordinated than everyone else.

- Even though he’s a geek, he still does crazy/ridiculous stuff; he just doesn’t do acrobatics while doing so. Locked yourself out of your house? He somehow knows how to pick a lock. Forgot something somewhere? He’ll run all the way back there to get it for you!

- He’s kinda slow in the reflex department; you’ve been his savior more than a few times. You’re probably one of the only reasons his glasses are still intact.

- Specs is generally pretty polite but he is not a morning person at all. Be careful when attempting to wake him up, you may end up snatched and cuddled against your will or aggressively grumbled at.

- All the newsies would absolutely love cuddling with their girls and you cannot convince me otherwise. Some may be more shy than others but they all secretly love it. Specs typically sleeps/rests on his back so he’s pretty fond of the sweetheart cradle.

- He’s not ashamed of the fact that he likes when you baby him but he’ll get extremely embarrassed if anyone somewhat comes close to guessing that he does.

- He may be a little rough around the edges but he always tries to treat you like a lady; at least when he can help it.

- Getting visits while or after he sells his papers.

- He would genuinely wait around for hours just to be able to spend a little time with you. Get off work at seven? Well he gets off at five but he can stand to wait a little. Its worth it, right?

- People are just used to seeing him sitting on a crate outside your workplace, fiddling with whatever he can find to pass the time.

- He has a habit of holding/playing with things when he’s stationary so expect to have your hand occupied quite often.

- Piggyback rides. It may not be proper for a lady such as yourself but frankly, you don't give a damn and neither does he if you don’t.

- Likes bothering you in that playful boyfriend sort of way. You get teased, poked and prodded, especially when the two of you are alone together.

- He’s always got something to say. The two of you could have a full conversation about literally nothing at all.

- He’s happy to let you lean on him. What’s the difference when it’s a cute girl doing it? He’s used to having the other newsies use him as an arm rest so having his adorable girlfriend resting against him is a welcome change.

- I don’t know if it’s just me; but he looks so much better without his ridiculous top hat on?? Thank god he takes it off around you.

- He doesn’t have much; if any, pocket money so you’re not going to have any expensive dates. That being said, he tries to do something nice with what he has.

- Little love letters filled with misspellings and awful grammar. They may not be the most poetic things in the world but you adore them all the same.

- Walking around town together. You may have seen it all a hundred times before but it seems entirely new when you’re with him.

- Cozying up in secluded corners.

- Refers to you as ‘me old lady’ when talking about you to other people. He doesn’t use too many nicknames when talking with you though. He isn’t a big charmer so he isn’t used to the concept. He probably calls you “missy” jokingly but that doesn’t exactly count as a nickname, does it?

- He both follows your orders and disobeys you like you’re his mother. He’s constantly on that line of I will blindly follow you and I will make you make me.

- He may give you a little shit now and again but he’s a ride or die and thats a fact. When it really comes down to it, he has your back no matter what.

- The newsies may not seem like the most sensitive people in the world but Specs is a bit more empathetic than most. He hates seeing people; especially you, all sad or distressed.

- He may not be the greatest at it but he always tries to comfort or cheer you up in any way he can.

- He’s not used to people really caring about him and his wellbeing so it’s always a shock to him when you worry about his safety or try to take care of him.

- You once brought him some food because you were worried he wasn’t eating enough and he nearly cried. You should have seen his face when you handed it to him; it was like you were giving him a hundred bucks.

- Occasionally you’ll sneak him into your house when your parents aren’t home so he can take a warm bath in a tub that he actually fits in and eat a full meal.

- Sometimes the two of you will walk around town together, pretending that you’re both a wealthy couple. You put on posh accents and look through the windows of shops you could never buy from, boasting about how you’ll get this or that and talking about other “rich person” things.

- He saves up money for an entire year just to be able to buy you a Christmas/birthday gift. Either that or he’ll attempt to make you something, usually some kind of newspaper flower.

- How jealous he gets really depends on who it is that he’s meant to be jealous of. If it’s another newsie flirting then he’ll just tell them to get lost but if its someone with more class than him then he feels more threatened. Why would you chose him over some upper class fellow?

- He may act aggressive with the guy but he’s more reserved and feels like he has to take more shit if the fella decides to get smart. He doesn’t want to be put in the refuge for soaking him if his parents take it up with the law.

- Nearly all of the newsies would be protective of their girls and this trait isn’t lost on Specs. He’ll stare down people he doesn't like, keeping you behind him and puffing out his chest whenever they turn up.

- He’s always keeping an eye out for you and lingering around. He usually isn’t too far from your side when he can help it.

- He always stands behind you as you’re sitting down, holding the back of your chair and keeping a close eye on everything that’s going on.

 - He’s surprisingly fast on his feet and is an arguably good bullshitter/liar which he used for both good and; occasionally, bad causes. He can’t lie to you very well though; you can always see right through him.

- Most of your fights are pretty trivial so it isn't hard for the two of you to makeup. A lot of the time he’ll just forget that you were fighting or what you were fighting about and continue on like nothing happened or admit that he doesn’t even know what you’re supposed to be bickering about.

- You get a ‘love ya’ every time you’re saying goodbye or whenever he just feels the need to say it.

- The two of you will undoubtedly be pretty nervous when introducing him to your parents. The look on his face when you and your father first laid eyes on each other should be framed.

- He’s genuinely ready to spend the rest of his life with you. He’s one of the older newsies too so marriage might be just around the corner; if your folks will allow it.

#newsies imagine #newsies headcanons #newsies x reader #newsies headcanon #newsies imagines #90s movie headcanon #90s movie headcanons #90s movie imagine #specs imagine #specs headcanon #specs headcanons #92sies imagine #92sies headcanons #92sies headcanon

[goatsandgangsters]

Top 5 Meyer/Charlie moments in the series!👀 in depth explanations always encouraged 💗💗

oh ANON you FLATTER ME! And you indulge my inability to ever be concise…

1. That ending scene in Friendless Child. This is the pinnacle. The peak. The moment where if I had to show a random person exactly one scene from Boardwalk to prove how married these two are, it would be this one. The warm, contented, lovesick way Charlie is openly staring at Meyer throughout their entire conversation with Torrio. The way they’re so relaxed and at peace, finally. The psychic conversation we watch them have while Torrio is talking. When Meyer reaches for Charlie’s arm. The first time I watched it I thought “oh wow they’re actually going to kiss,” not even in a sdkhfgkjfhd way but just this moment of calm surprise because it looked that much like Meyer was going to grab him and kiss him. THE TENDER WAY MEYER HOLDS ONTO HIS ARM AND STARES DEEPLY INTO HIS EYES!!! THE WAY CHARLIE SMILES BACK!!! WHOEVER IN THE EDITING ROOM DECIDED TO FADE THE SONG IN HALFWAY THROUGH ON THE LYRIC “FOR MY LOVE IS YOUR LOVE, THERE’S NO LOVE FOR NOBODY ELSE” FOR THIS. The fact that everyone knew they looked So Absolutely In Love that they had to tack on random women for plausible deniability, but that didn’t even work because Charlie and Meyer barely even LOOK AT THEM because they’re too lost in each other’s eyes. Like WE GET IT!!!! YOU’RE IN LOVE!!!!!!!

they are… incredibly married.

[there were exhibits A, B, and C here but it wasn’t showing up in the tag until I removed them, so thanks for that tumblr] 

2. Speaking of being incredibly married, I love their exchange over the stolen watches. “Might as well set up a pushcart,” “fellas who know what time it is,” the SNARKING AND JOKING WITH EACH OTHER! There’s a lot to unpack in terms of what’s going on off-screen (Charlie’s bloody knuckles and Meyer’s sigh of “I wish you’d stop with this,” like how regularly does Charlie beat someone up and steal counterfeit watches??) But the way they joke with each other and tease each other, it’s so comfortable, it’s so familiar. It’s one of the only times we get to see them alone together and at ease—no high stakes gangster situation, no serious business talk. Just two people who’ve known each other since they were kids, who are totally comfortable around each other, and who joke and tease and sigh at each other like the old married couple they are.

3. The way Meyer grounds Charlie in their finale scene in season 3. The way Meyer’s anger from out in the hallway dissolves as soon as he puts two and two together (and he puts it together way before Charlie does). The intimacy of Meyer’s hand on Charlie’s neck. (And WHAT A CHOICE too. His neck? That’s such an intimate place to touch someone, but when you’re Meyer/Anatol’s height it’s also somewhat impractical, so the fact that they still chose to have him reach up and touch Charlie in such an intimate vulnerable place in order to steady up and stand with him….. WHOOF THE INTIMACY). That moment where Charlie is lost and helpless and angry and confused—and he locks eyes with Meyer and you see him deflate, you see the anger disappear from his eyes and you see the hurt instead. The way he looks at Meyer like he’s a drowning man and Meyer’s the only thing that floats for miles. The way Meyer DOES NOT! TAKE! HIS! HAND! off Charlie’s neck. Even when he has to grit his teeth and disparage Charlie a little in order to save their skin (and you see, oh you see, how bad it tastes in his mouth to have to say any of that), he never takes his hand off Charlie. The way he says with his body Don’t listen, you know it’s not true, you know I’m with you. It’s such a vulnerable scene (side note: that’s something I love and admire about Vincent Piazza’s acting in particular, that he’s never afraid to go really vulnerable with his acting choices, which is an impressive choice for a man who often plays, well, prickly assholes where you wouldn’t expect it). This scene is so powerful and intimate between the two of them. And it’s telling about the strength and importance of their bond that this intimate moment happens in front of AR and Masseria.

3b. It’s not as powerful a moment, because it’s a much smaller scene on a much smaller scale, but for similar reasons I also love the scene at the end of season 2 where Jimmy and Charlie are arguing and Jimmy calls him Sal and—again with the vulnerable acting choices—Charlie’s upset. He’s not angry, he’s upset. And I love how Meyer immediately cuts in with “is THAT the issue” to change the subject. I love how Charlie retreats to Meyer’s side and stands with his back to the room for a moment to collect himself because he’s safe at Meyer’s side, while Meyer is standing there arms crossed and baring his teeth. I love that in the middle of these fraught moments with other gangsters, if Charlie needs him, Meyer’s there. And you can tell how much Meyer makes him feel safe.

4. Shayna punim and try not to sit by the window—or How To Say I Love You Without Saying Those Exact Words. The intent way Meyer shifts his focus to Charlie as soon as he comes in the room. The little nod behind Benny’s back that Charlie wants to talk in private. The total lack of hesitation on “I’ll come with you.” MASSERIA HATES! THAT SHAYNA PUNIM OF YOURS! 💖Just Extremely Platonic Business Partner Things: complimenting his beautiful face in his own language💖 I was also so caught up in the other great lines in this scene that I almost forgot about “this is the problem with you, always very headstrong, good thing I’m hear to talk some sense” and Meyer, through all the tension, laughs. It’s such a familiar way to talk, such a teasing way for Charlie to say, “I am very headstrong and I need you to talk some sense,” but like TEASING HIM ABOUT IT INSTEAD OF SAYING IT OUTRIGHT BECAUSE THEY’RE JUST LIKE THAT. How Meyer can’t even look at him when he says “try not to sit by the window” but how he can’t look away as Charlie leaves, with that look on his face that says I love you so much, please come home safe.

5. I wrote the first four answers immediately and then took a couple days to decide on my 5th one, but I think that I’m going with Their Final Scene ever, even though there’s very little conversation between the two of them. But, you know, OUR FRIENDS, OUR PARTNERS!!!!!!!! The very deliberate choice of our friends = shot of Benny and our partners = shot of Meyer. And OH THAT SHOT OF MEYER, sitting there with the slow blink of a cat in a patch of sunshine who also just killed and ate the canary. Like that smug “mhm, yes I AM the one sitting at his right hand. Not any of you. Me.” That pride. That satisfaction. That “yeah, he’s mine” vibe. Overall, I admit it’s more of a significant scene for Charlie than for Charlie/Meyer necessarily, but I love that it’s been such a big part of Charlie’s narrative, the constantly being told “don’t work with them, you’re one of us, we’re your people, not them,” but then everything culminates in a scene where Charlie says “actually fuck that, it doesn’t matter if you’re Italian or Jewish or Irish #LoveWins,” where he’s got Meyer and Benny beside him and THEN the Italians. The table might be round for a reason, but who’s sitting beside you is still significant, Charlie. Plus, the fact that after the whole table does a toast, the FINAL SHOT OF CHARLIE AND MEYER is them sitting back down and quietly toasting each other. Yes, yes, they did the business bit with everyone else, but this is for them. And even though the audio is soft, the chorus of Italians toasting “salute” followed by Meyer getting the last word for Team NY, toasting Charlie with “l’chaim.”

#Boardwalk Empire #Meyer Lansky #Charlie Luciano #otp: soulmates in crime #boardwalk meta #anon tag

[charmandhex]

A TOTALLY UNOFFICIAL AND VERY MUCH NOT SANCTIONED BY NBC OPENING SCENE FOR AN AS OF YET NONEXISTENT PILOT OF THE ADVENTURE ZONE: BALANCE ANIMATED SHOW THAT I AM 100% NOT GETTING PAID FOR

Credit to: the McElboys

No credit to: me, Charm H. Adventurezone, sleep deprived [job title redacted] and overly ambitious fic writer

[Our opening shot is of the world of Abeir-Toril (or whatever the fuck we’re going to call it to avoid copyright issues idk that redacted job title up there sure isn’t lawyer) as it drifts through the Prime Material Plane. From here, we can see little but clouds, water, and land masses. One regular-sized moon orbiting the world drifts into view. If you look closely, but you’re only looking closely because you’re a nerd who knows what to look for, you can see a much, much smaller moon -THAT’S NO MOON got there first Clint what now- drifts over a massive, still lake and a brightly colored spot that we might know to be Neverwinter, wait- Eversummer, hm, that was graphic novel, but can we use that there?- KINDASPRING there we go. The initial shot is quiet, for a moment, before seven notes -yes those ones folks- ring out.]

GRIFFIN [audio only]: I can guess what you’re probably all expecting. Some big, dramatic speech to match the big, dramatic intro we’ve got going on here. [As Griffin talks, we start to zoom in on a continent conveniently labeled NOT-FAERUN. We fly by our much smaller moon, but not close enough to see anything of interest – yet. We see Kindaspring, all busy and fantasy and so on. We catch a glimpse of a city buried in the shadow of a mountain range, with a bunch of dudes who all look the same. A city on a cliff, a shining gold monument in the center and trails of dust on a track around the city. Canyons, and a dash of pearlescent color just for a moment. Blink and you miss it, and a flash of a black and white tent in the woods near Kindaspring. You get the picture.] But, fact of the matter is, folks, we kinda blew all the budget on this one shot! Completely boned it in the first two seconds! So, let’s get right into it and roll some fuckin’ initiative- oh, can I say fuck? Are we allowed to do that, here on NBC Peacock? Shit, I’m going to completely bone our cussing budget too- anyway! Let’s roll some initiative and meet our heroes.

[Zoom in on wagon on road outside Kindaspring. It’s not a very impressive wagon. There are patches on the canvas. The wheels are all creaky and bouncy over the dirt road. The horses look like they could use a nap. There are stink lines, y’all. The road, meanwhile, is pretty well-used. There are ruts, and the sides of the road run clean and even. It’s surrounded by woods, and we’re far enough out of Kindaspring to not get any noise from the city, nor close enough to our destination to even get a hint of whatever the fuck I’m going to have to call Phandalin that isn’t Phandalin.

But back to our characters. Right now, only one is visible, a buff human man, like super buff, no you don’t understand animators, he must be a brick shithouse of a man, he’s very sensitive about this. He has massive muscles and massive sideburns, and he looks way too happy to be driving this wagon. You just know the vehicle proficiency jokes are coming. Cartoon GRIFFIN pops up in the corner of the screen, looking unimpressed.]

GRIFFIN: …Well, maybe not heroes. Three… boys. Three very messy, very murder hobo, very horny boys. [A beat.] Tres horny boys, if you will. So, uh, first up is-

MAGNUS [aware of Griffin and waving at everyone- listen, fourth wall breaks are kinda a thing for me, folks]: I’m Magnus Burnsides, human fighter! [Stat card for Magnus pops up on the side. There’s a not very flattering picture with it.] Also… [with the wagon reigns in hand, he starts counting off on his fingers, concentrating] Uh, master carpenter, man of action, rush into battle- oh, and I’m from Raven’s Roost, and-

[The canvas flaps blow open behind MAGNUS, and MAGNUS’S stat card disappears with a pop and a tiny bit of white smoke. TAAKO steps out, already exasperated and swinging a hand, colliding with MAGNUS’S head and pushing it to the side.]

TAAKO: Yeah, save the backstory for like… 40 more episodes, my dude. We don’t have time for that shit right now.

GRIFFIN: O-kay, guess we’re just gonna assume we can swear whenever we want.

[As GRIFFIN is talking, TAAKO stops pushing on MAGNUS’S head.]

TAAKO [triumphant, shouting]: FUCK!

[Flock of birds flies out of the trees.]

GRIFFIN: So this is Taako, the elf wizard [TAAKO’S stat card pops up. Much more flattering picture.] and-

TAAKO: That’s Taako, you know, from… podcast, elf wizard and baller chef, yes, thank you, very much. AND very, very beautiful. [TAAKO does a hair flip. There are sparkles and magical sounds.] And very, very bored. [TAAKO’S stat card disappears.] How far away is this fuckin’ town? What’s it called again?

MAGNUS [shrugging]: Beats me. [To GRIFFIN] Did we come up with a name that doesn’t violate copyright?

GRIFFIN [evading the question, because I still am]: Aaaaaaaaaaaaand last but not least, Merle Highchurch. [A beat. GRIFFIN sighs.] Merle, that’s your cue.

MERLE [inside the tent]: Wha? Somebody say my name? [Canvas flaps rustle rustle rustle. MERLE’S face pops out, looking around owlishly. He also steps out to the front of the wagon.]

MAGNUS [now very crowded and still trying to drive]: You missed your cue, old man.

MERLE [indignant]: I was busy studying my cantrips!

TAAKO and MAGNUS [in unison]: Gross!

MERLE: No, not like-

GRIFFIN [interrupting]: And Merle is a cleric! [MERLE’S stat card pops up. The picture was taken too high, so we can only see MERLE’S hair and forehead.]

MERLE: I’m a what now?

GRIFFIN [overly enthusiastic, it’s a bit now, folks]: Now, for those of you who aren’t familiar, clerics are kind of a support class magic user. They can cast things like buffs-

MERLE: Huh?

GRIFFIN [still overly enthusiastic]: and heal their party members-

MERLE: I can do that?

GRIFFIN: Clerics also serve gods, and Merle’s god is Mort-

MERLE [indignant again]: Hang on! That doesn’t sound right!

GRIFFIN [pushing out of his little bubble and leaning into the scene]: Then who is your god?

MERLE: Uh… Pan! [MERLE pulls out the Extreme Teen Bible.] See? Pan!

MAGNUS [whispering to TAAKO]: Okay, I guess this is how we’re resolving that whole thing. [TAAKO shrugs. MERLE is smiling. It’s adorable, like those little smiles Carey Pietsch does I love them so much, y’all.]

GRIFFIN: So, Magnus, Taako, Merle. Off on an adventure of epic proportions. [GRIFFIN is getting excited.] Full of action and danger and goofs and found family and-

MAGNUS: Now hold on! Epic proportions? Epic? [MAGNUS waves a hand around at the generally pretty chill woods, the boring road, and the stink lines wagon.]

TAAKO: Yeah, so far this is snoozeville, population, uh, me and these two chucklefucks.

MERLE [peering at GRIFFIN]: you sure you got the right dnd party, bud?

GRIFFIN [looking at audience]: We’re still negotiating contracts, so I’m filling in for, uh… someone. So for now, hey, I’m Griffin McElroy, your Dungeon Master, your best friend, and your announcer for this pilot episode. Ahem. [GRIFFIN clears his throat.] Grab your shields and ready your spell slots. Strap in your asses and… really, just strap in your asses. And, for the very first time, welcome to the animated version of… THE ADVENTURE ZONE!

[Title card and Mort Garson’s “Déjà Vu” plays. All my ideas went into dialogue, folks. Fan artists, this one’s all yours.]

[We pop back into the same scene as before.]

MAGNUS: Yeah, so, uh, like we were saying, before, uh, whatever that was, what we’re doing now is-

TAAKO [interrupting]: Hold on! We are not, I repeat, not doing some dumb recap where we explain this boring job... unless…

MAGNUS, MERLE, and GRIFFIN [all have gone laser eye meme]: UNLESS?

TAAKO [singing]: Flashback sequence!

[There’s a loud POP! as the scene shifts, and we’re now in your standard fantasy tavern. There’s a table with four chairs right in front of us, all of which are empty. The tavern acts as a backdrop behind that, illustrating just how fantasy this world is. We see humans and elves and dwarves yes, because we’ve already seen them, but also Gnomes and tieflings and haflings and orcs and Genasi and aarakocra (try spelling that one, folks ;) I’m sure that won’t come up later) and so on and so forth.

There’s another POP! as GRIFFIN’S window reappears in the upper right corner. He looks slightly ruffled.]

GRIFFIN [straightening his hair and glasses]: Wow, that is going to take some getting used to. Anyway, the boys should be here in a second, and-

[Three more pops as MAGNUS, TAAKO, and MERLE appear in three of the four seats at the table. MERLE lands upside down. He immediately starts struggling to right himself]

MAGNUS [looking at the empty chair and frowning]: Wait, what was the name of the guy we were meeting again? Gumdrop?

TAAKO: Hm… Gurgle? Guava? Gumbo?

MERLE [having finally righted himself]: No! My cousin, uh… um… oh, that’s right, Gundren!

[As MERLE says GUNDREN, another pop as GUNDREN pops into existence in the chair. He looks like if you put MERLE through a grinder, not like we’re gonna run into one of those in an episode or two, right, fellas?

Nasty boy that he is, GUNDREN lets out a grunt and then spits on the floor. People have to clean that, GUNDREN! This is why you- (SPOILERS REDACTED)- anyway.]

GUNDREN: So, like I was saying, boys. You take my wagon from here in Kindaspring down the road to Mandolin-

TAAKO: Oh, that’s what we’re calling it?

MERLE: I thought that was another TV show?

[Up in the corner, GRIFFIN shrugs.]

GUNDREN: Uh… yes? That’s… what it’s called? [GUNDREN looks suspiciously at them. It seems like he’d give the job to someone else in an instant, if literally anyone else would take the job. But magically, he’s stuck with these boys.] But, uh, you get my wagon and my goods to Mandolin, and I’ll let you in on the next job. And that job, boys… [GUNDREN laughs. It sounds like if you threw rocks in a blender.] That’s the kinda job that will be the last job you ever need to take.

MAGNUS [cheerfully]: Well, that sounds murdery!

[There’s a loud POP! and we’re back on the wagon again, all of our boys already in place.]

GRIFFIN [shrugging, smiling]: Guess you’re going to find out! Oh, and boys… let’s roll initiative.

#taz #taz balance #the adventure zone #mcelroy family #mcelboys #charm works #this is basically a glorified overly long shitpost and the level of editing that went into this reflects that #PLEASE HIRE ME MCELROYS

[fandomlurker]

A Ponderous Rewatch: Battle for the Planet and Cameos

You know, I keep trying to be minimal with the amount of images I put in these posts, but I think it’s kind of a losing battle…especially when it comes to episodes animated by TMS like the second one coming later on today. I can’t help it, some of the expressions and poses are just too good to not be shared.

In any case, let’s begin with one very small cameo appearance in “Space Probed”:

Our little duo have apparently found themselves abducted by aliens, only to be kept in lab conditions much like the one on Earth at ACME Labs. This is one of those times where I wish I could know the production order of these episodes and not just the air date order… Why? Well, because this small cameo could potentially line up really well with an upcoming episode. Just keep that in mind for now.

With that out of the way, we move on to our next full skit:

And we begin with the Brain expositing to Pinky about how he came up with the plan for this episode.

“Halloween, Pinky: 1938. Mercury Radio Theatre presented an adaptation of H. G. Wells’ ‘War of the Worlds’ that was so realistic, people actually fled the cities believing that creatures from Mars were attacking the Earth. It proved that radio was a powerful tool…and now, Pinky, the advance of technology has brought us an even more powerful tool. Do you know what that is?”

Before we move on, how many of you reading this have heard about this? And how many of you know that this is actually an incident that happened in real life? Yes, people actually fled their homes after hearing this broadcast. Not a lot of people, of course. Not by a long shot. Most just made panicked phone calls to their local police station or to the radio station itself to find out what was really going on. The incident also wasn’t nationwide or anything like that, it was quite local. If anything, the radio play caused much more outrage after the fact than initial panic.

Another amusing anecdote is that Orson Welles was the man who directed, narrated, and played a main character in the broadcast. For those of you who may not be in the know, although Brain was initially based on animator and writer Tom Minton at Warner Brothers, Brain’s voice actor Maurice LaMarche based his voice on Orson Welles. Or, well, as Mr. LaMarche puts it: “The Brain is 70 percent Welles, 20 percent Vincent Price, and I don't know, there's another 10 percent of something else in there. I don't know what. Some people think it's Peter Lorre. I don't know what it is.”.

Strong references aside, I’m betting most of you can see the massive holes in the Brain’s plan already. Hoo boy…

“Umm… The rubber band?”

“The workings of your mind are a mystery to me, Pinky.”

“Ooo! I love a good mystery, Brain!”

You know, this little sequence with Brain nonchalantly stretching the rubber band while walking away from Pinky and Pinky determinedly holding on until Brain lets go off camera and sends Pinky flying is… Well, I don’t know what it is about it, but it’s kind of cute in a weird slapstick way? Like, it’s hard to tell if Brain did that on purpose to send Pinky flying for not understanding his plan…or if he actually wanted Pinky to follow him and tried to lead him to where he was walking but Pinky thought it was some kind of tug-o-war game and Brain got exasperated and let go of the rubber band.

Either way, Pinky doesn’t seem to mind.

“Television, Pinky, is our new tool!”

“We will pirate the airwaves and stage a hoax like ‘War of the Worlds’!”

Brain, you’re very good with that lasso. I’m impressed!

“Three cameras, Brain?”

“Yes… A technique pioneered by the great Desi Arnaz. And with them we will scare the people of the cities, leaving no resistance behind. We will have taken over the world!”

Well, Brain, that technique first being used by Desi Arnaz is a myth (it was more than likely actually pioneered by Jerry Fairbanks around 1947), but I’m going to give you a pass on this because you likely couldn’t fact check this very well at the time.

I do have to give Brain credit for being as dramatic as possible while announcing his plan, though. He really does know how to put on a show.

“Egad, Brain, brilliant!”

And Pinky is, as usual, full of praise and extremely excited about the plan. Look at him clapping and hopping around, aww… I’m starting to think that half the reason Brain goes through with these long, expository explanations of his plans to Pinky despite Pinky not quite following along a lot of the time is just to impress Pinky. Brain needs reassurance and Pinky always provides.

“Oh! Oh, wait, no, no…”

“Why would they be scared of us? We’re so small and we’re practically the size of mice, Brain.”

“We are mice, Pinky.”

“Oh, right! Well, there you are, then. Eh heh heh…”

…Okay, so, Pinky also tends to deflate the praise a bit when pointing out potential flaws in the plan like this, but it’s the initial thought that counts.

Yeah, I know, Brain. I know. But Pinky really is trying to be helpful.

“It’s not a question of size, Pinky. It’s a question of scale! Watch the monitor.”

“*gasp* Zounds, Brain! You’re gigantic!”

“Television, Pinky: The Great Deceptor!”

“Narf~…”

No, you aren’t seeing things. Pinky just…just stands there in front of the TV looking at live footage of a close-up of Brain and sighs in awe and affection while clasping his little hands together. I don’t even think I need to make a “Fellas, is it gay to--?” joke here. All that’s missing is little hearts appearing around his head.

We cut to a little while later, where the duo has everything set up for their broadcast. It looks like Pinky must have done the lettering for their props, since it actually looks decent and nothing like Brain’s scrawlings. Yes, I’m going to continue roasting Brain’s terrible penmanship. It amuses me.

“How is my disguise, Pinky?”

“OH! Is that you, Brain?!?”

“You flatter me, Pinky. Now, throw the switch and let us begin…the Battle for the Planet!”

Title drop! Also, aww. To be fair, Brain, I’m not sure Pinky was intending to be flattering so much as he was actually unsure if that really was you or not. But the fact that you took it as flattery is very telling, I think.

Pinky throws the switch, and the plan is officially underway!

According to the Animaniacs wiki, these people bear a striking resemblance to Elmyra’s family. If that’s what was intended, this is quite the early omen for the horrible “Pinky, Elmyra, and the Brain” spin-off that was made after the regular PatB spin-off. I don’t think I’m going to fully cover that show in the far future. It’s not the fun kind of terrible…it’s just terrible.

Oh hey, they were watching Family Matters! Too bad this is many, many years before they could bear witness to Dark Urkle Tribute.

And there’s Ralph, enjoying coffee and a doughnut.

And…some TV station broadcast folks. It kinda bothers me that these two basically have the same model except for different hair colours.

“We interrupt your regular broadcast to bring you this important news bulletin…”

“What is that?!”

“Someone’s pirated the TV lines!”

“Scientists have just reported that a large, unidentified flying object seems to be heading towards Earth. There is no cause for alarm…”

“…But there probably will be.”

Subtle, Brain.

Oh, hi, Warners! You certainly picked a good time to escape tonight.

“We take you now to our satellite view of the planet, perhaps to catch a glimpse of this fearful courier of the unknown.”

Cue Pinky making ridiculous “shoosh” and “shoom” and “weee!~” noises. Very convincing.

“I’ve just received word that the UFO is about to crash land nearby. There should be a great explosion!”

“I said, THERE SHOULD BE A GREAT EXPLOSION!”

“Hmm? Oh! OH, right, Brain! Narf!”

Nice blep, pinky.

Somehow, people watching the broadcast are still terrified. I’ve gotta admit that I didn’t expect this plan to go this well for this long.

…Okay, maybe I spoke too soon.

“Sorry, Brain…”

“…We’ll go live to the crash site momentarily.”

He says before near-instantly cutting to the “crash site”, still in the same disguise. Brain, honey, I know you’re probably trying to reduce broadcast downtime so that the audience doesn’t start to question what they’re seeing, but you do know that quick cuts like this ruin the illusion of this being a live broadcast…right?

Oh, who am I kidding? Of course he doesn’t know that. As usual, Brain has tunnel vision and expects his plans to go one certain way, and any details that don’t fit his internal narrative are discarded or not even thought about.

Just let me slide on in…

“I’m reporting to you live from the crash site and I…I’m at a loss for words. Can we get a shot of this very frightening scene?”

He’s right. That’s the most frightening…ly obvious cardboard spaceship I have ever seen.

But okay, I love these tiny prop improvisations they had to do. The bare cardboard wings taped to some kind of spray can for the body of the ship, a stray water cooler cup for the cone, test tubes for the thrusters, random little sewing pins for some kind of antenna, a dirty beige blanket to simulate soil for the crash zone… It’s so hastily cobbled together yet so goddamn cute.

Ralph still seems convinced that this is real, though that isn’t saying much.

“I am now positioned close to the…well, I can only assume that this is a vehicle from outer space, its occupants here to destroy the Earth.”

“Oooo!~ OoooOOOooo!~”

“Wait! There is a strange noise emanating from inside. Something seems to be coming out of the ship!”

They made a glove into an alien space suit with a tiny peephole to accommodate Pinky’s face and they fashioned a little belt from something for it, aaaaa! This is so adorable! Look at Pinky trying to be scary! He’s just all >:B throughout this entire scene.

BUG FOGGER

WARNING

CONTENTS UNDE

EXTREME PRESS

GAS

I’m wondering why they couldn’t label it as “bug spray”. I’ve honestly never heard of it being called “bug fogger”. Is that an American thing? (Also: Tiny sandbag wall!)

“Oh my! It’s hideous! Ladies and gentlemen, I can hardly describe this terrifying creature before me, except to say: Run for your lives! Go on! Empty the cities! Leave everything behind!”

“I…I don’t know how long I can stay on the air. I’ll try to get to our aerial view in chopper five!”

Okay, it seems even Elmyra’s family and the broadcast folks are still under the impression that this is actually happening. And Brain instantly cuts again to the aerial view. Brain, I think you’ve been watching too many movies.

“Chopper five, high above the city. The horrible creatures from Mars…invading…destroying everything in their path! Oh, the humanity!”

Since this is a still image the impact is lessened but Brain is rapidly beating his fist against his side to simulate the sound of helicopter blades and it’s actually pretty effective. Well done, lil guy, I never would’ve thought to do something like that. Your foley work is great!

The milk carton buildings still have straws in them to make chimneys! There’s little Chinese takeout boxes as buildings, too! I’m so charmed by all these quaint ways they’ve made their props.

Also, the Pinky-alien has apparently grown to kaiju size now, somehow. Brain, you’ve got to make your hoax at least a little consistent!

“This is no hoax, ladies and gentlemen. I urge you to run for your lives while you can! We’re not making this up just so we can take over the world!”

Goddamnit, Brain. You are the worst liar in the history of forever.

“Oh no! It’s heading this way! Run for your lives! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!”

I just thought these cowering poses Brain did were funny and cute. He is so small and vulnerable…

So Pinky starts to menace the camera itself and—

—Oops. This isn’t going to go well.

Poor, poor Pinky.

“We did it, Pinky. Brilliant performance!”

Holy shit, sincere praise from Brain! I’m sure Pinky will treasure it.

“Undoubtedly, the population has fled in fear from their ‘terrifying enemy’, HA!”

Umm. About that, Brain…

“Let us make haste…to The White House!”

Brain, you may want to at least wait a little while so that people can actually—

Ouch.

WOW, who needs Twitter in this universe when the press is this fast?

“’Battle for the Planet is a comedy smash… World laughs together. Stay home for this one!’”

“Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

“Well, I think so, Brain…but if we didn’t have ears, we’d look like weasels.”

“[sighs] No, Pinky… Our hoax…no one went anywhere! No one fled the cities! They found us…humorous.”

If it helps any, boys, I also found you incredibly adorable.

“Where are you going, Brain?”

“Back to our cage, Pinky. We must plan for tomorrow night.”

“Why? What are we going to do tomorrow night?”

I like how Pinky is at first concerned about Brain’s mood and then we he sees that Brain is just walking home to plan for tomorrow night he’s bouncing on his tip-toes after him.

“The same thing we do every night, Pinky: Try to take over the world!”

TO BE CONTINUED because apparently Tumblr finds this post too long otherwise,

#Pinky and the Brain #PatB #Battle for the Planet

[liskantope]

I ran into this 1988 video of Bernie Sanders, then-mayor of Burlington, VT, interviewing two youths ("mall punks") as part of a campaign to interview a diversity of Burlington people. Those two youths, who realize at the time that their interviewer was the mayor and had forgotten about the whole event by decades later, reconnected recently and were interviewed again in this video from a year ago -- it looks like they grew up to be pretty cool people, both big Bernie supporters, and just as unconventional in appearance 30+ years later. Below are some aimless ramblings instigated by thinking about this video.

I've always had a gut attitude about people who choose transgressive ways to present themselves, which I don't endorse as an actual ethical stance (for the record, the right to present oneself in the way one chooses should always be respected, and while it's not entirely unreasonable to make some assumptions about such a person, this kind of prejudging should be cautious and limited). My feeling has been this: while some unconventional presentations flatter the appearance of certain people and some of even the most quirky and eccentric styles make me smile, I feel turned off by a person who makes themself look unconventional in a blatantly ugly way. I realize that ugliness is very subjective, but the point is not so much whether I find someone's presentation ugly but that I often sense that the person themself is trying on some level to look ugly. In other words, some people seem to choose an appearance not based on looking "nice" or flattering or aesthetically pleasing but rather the opposite in order to send a message, and I have a gut-level aversion to this mentality. My instinct is to consider "I feel nice-looking this way" as the only valid reason for this kind of personal choice.

For me, the "mall punks" in the video do fit into the category of people who seem to have deliberately made themselves worse-looking purely for the purpose of sending a message, and their explanations for their presentations support this impression. To me their reasoning follows a curious path which goes something like

society doesn't accept people people who deviate from the norm;

we oppose this; and

the logical response is to deviate from the norm as much as possible.

When I stare at this from one angle I can see a sort of logic to this, but the rest of the time the logic feels subtly warped and even sinister. I'm too tired to fully pick this apart right now. There are some faint notes -- only faint, mind you -- of what we might call the South Park Goth Kids Mentality of "in order to be an nonconformist, you have to dress like us and listen to the same music we do." Taking a stance against having to present a particular way somehow doesn't quite translate to aiming for the opposite of that particular way.

I suppose a steelman of the punk teenagers' views could be that the range of lifestyles/presentations of individuals in society is simply too narrow -- there's simply not enough diversity here, even if there's nothing especially inherently wrong with the particulars of the median lifestyle/appearance itself, and that the mall punks are choosing to signal a protest against this phenomenon. Either way, I still struggle with feelings of disapproval of someone looking a certain way purely for signalling purposes, but I think something even deeper is going on with me in that I just can't relate to their instinctive disgust for the narrowness of the range of "normal" lifestyles/presentations. I believe this goes along with my extremely unrebellious, non-radical, pro-incrementalism, anti-revolution instincts. I was recently rereading the play A Thousand Clowns (by Herb Gardner, I think easily the most obscure work that I know deeply as nobody I've ever mentioned it to knows it) and there is a line in the third act that speaks to me enormously even while I don't feel all of it applies to me:

I am willing to deal with the available world and I do not choose to shake it up but to live with it. There's the people who spill things, and the people who get spilled on; I do not choose to notice the stains, Murray. I have a wife and I have children, and business, like they say, is business. I am not an exceptional man, so it is possible for me to stay with things the way they are. I'm lucky. I'm gifted. I have a talent for surrender. I'm at peace. But you are cursed; and I like you so it makes me sad, you don't have the gift; and I see the torture of it. All I can do is worry for you. But I will not worry for myself; you cannot convince me that I am one of the Bad Guys. I get up, I go, I lie a little, I peddle a little, I watch the rules, I talk the talk. We fellas have those offices high up there so we can catch the wind and go with it, however it blows. But, and I will not apologize for it, I take pride; I am the best possible Arnold Burns.

#bernie sanders #personal appearance #south park #a thousand clowns

[empoleon]

dragon’s den

• rated t, oneshot, 2096 words

• also available to read here

The look of utter disappointment on Leon’s face was surprisingly enjoyable to Raihan. It wasn’t often that the former Champion of the Galar region would be denied entry somewhere.

Although, this wasn’t just somewhere—the Dragon’s Den of the Johto region was well known across the world, even in Galar, and especially in Hammerlocke.

“What do you mean I’m denied entry?” Leon asked the older gentleman who was guarding the entrance.

Raihan was finding it extremely difficult to keep a straight face while the guard continued to shoot down Leon’s demands to be allowed inside.

“I’m sorry, but only authorized members of the clan are allowed inside,” he said in a stern tone, before glancing over at Raihan. “He is allowed to enter, however—our Master would like to meet Galar’s tamer of dragons.”

Leon had the gall to pout. “I was the Champion, though. I can’t get any… I don’t know, special exceptions?”

“I’m afraid not,” the man said. “Master’s orders.”

Raihan hooked an arm around Leon’s shoulder. “’s alright, Lee. I’ll bring you back a souvenir or something,” he said casually. “Rotom here’ll take good pictures too, right Rotom?”

Before the smart device could even trill a reply, the guard settled his steely gaze upon Raihan once more.

“No pictures are allowed to be taken inside,” he explained. “The secrets held within the Dragon Holy Land would like to remain as such.”

Both Leon and Raihan share a glance between each other.

“I’ll be let out of there alive, right?” Raihan asked the old man after a moment. Leon’s lips quirked up after hearing that.

Raihan gave Leon his phone before following the guard towards the entrance to the cave.

“Please use Rotom’s GPS if you decide to take a stroll outside of Blackthorn,” Raihan told Leon one last time before he started to walk away.

“Yeah, yeah,” Leon dismissed Raihan’s concerns with a wave of his hand. “Have fun! I’ll stay away from the Ice Path… maybe check out Route 45 for a bit.”

“Alright,” Raihan nodded his head. He turned to look at the rugged opening before stepping inside.

It was a lot deeper on the inside than Raihan thought it was going to be.

The guard from earlier was standing near the edge of the lake inside the cave.

“The shrine is up ahead. You may proceed without me,” he said.

Raihan’s gaze focused on the small building within the distance. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a Poké Ball to toss into the air.

Flygon came out and immediately wanted to check out its surroundings, curious about this new place.

“C’mon then, Flygon,” Raihan held out a hand and his Pokémon hovered over towards him, bumping its snout against Raihan’s palm.

He climbed onto its back carefully and they took off, gliding across the lake that shimmered beneath them.

“Good to see you here, Raihan,” the Dragon Clan Master greeted him after Flygon landed.

“’Ello,” Raihan gave the old man a polite smile, internally sizing him up. Appearance wise, that was it—he looked like an ordinary older man, but Raihan knew better than to be fooled by his looks.

“Not surprised that I know your name?” the Master asked him. He motioned with a hand for Raihan to follow him into the shrine.

Raihan returned Flygon to its ball. “Well, I’m actually flattered you know my name, seeing as I’m one of the best—”

The old man’s shoulders shook as he laughed. “Hammerlocke’s history is very rich, yes. We have been highly influenced by the training methods created there.”

He stopped at the shrine’s entrance and turned around to face Raihan.

“But that is not to say that Johto does not have an affluent past, either.”

He stepped to the side and allowed Raihan to enter. Surprisingly, he didn’t need to duck his head under the foyer—the shrine was quite spacious inside.

Other elders, Raihan presumed, were also inside, seated on mats.

“I would like to test you,” the Master turned and faced him. “Nothing severe or strenuous.”

Raihan blinked. “Sure. I only have Flygon here with me, though. ’Fraid I left the rest of my team with my partner.”

The Master chuckled. “No, no—not a battle. A test of your knowledge, and your character.”

“What are Pokémon to you?”

The Master’s voice echoed throughout the den and it took Raihan by surprise.

He crossed his arms and closed his eyes. How would Leon answer, he wondered. “Well, I would say that they are my friends. I cherish them and I’d do anything for them.”

“I see…” the Master nodded his head.

“What helps you to win battles?”

Raihan smiled. If it wasn’t too embarrassing to say aloud, he would certainly say that having a good rival can help.

“Strategies,” he said calmly. “I like to focus on different ways to battle.”

Another nod. So far so good.

“What kind of trainer do you wish to battle the most?”

For a somewhat small, damp cave, Raihan was fairly certain it was beginning to feel warm in here.

Obviously, his answer would be Leon. He can’t deny that.

(except that he should. now was not the time for fleeting thoughts about his significant other.)

“Eh, anyone, really,” Raihan rubbed the back of his neck. “I… I do have someone that I enjoy battling with a lot, but ultimately I’m interested in having Pokémon battles with anyone I meet.”

“What is most important for raising Pokémon?”

That was an easy one. “Love. Lots of love.”

The Master seemed pleased with his answer. “I have one more question for you.”

“Strong Pokémon. Weak Pokémon. Which is more important?”

What a peculiar question. Raihan wondered what Duraludon and Sandaconda were doing with Leon right now.

He raised his entire team from eggs—in a sense, they were weak at some point during his own journey, but…

“Both are equally important,” Raihan said after a moment. “Trainers should try to win with their favorites regardless of that.”

The Master stroked his beard. “I see… you care very deeply for Pokémon, Raihan. It’s quite commendable.”

“Thank you,” Raihan bowed his head.

When he looked back up, a Poké Ball was being held out for him to take.

“I would like you to have this as proof that I have recognized your skills as a dragon tamer,” the Master told him.

Raihan gingerly took the ball out of his hands and released what was inside. His jaw dropped.

“Alright, where is he?” Raihan held up a hand to block the sun while he scanned the area of Route 45.

After exiting the cave, he wanted nothing more than to spend a bit of time with Leon now before they had to leave Blackthorn.

He had neglected to tell Leon to also stay away from Dark Cave after hearing about how much of a nightmare it is to navigate, but he figured the former Champion wouldn’t have travelled too deep into this mountainous area to reach it.

Raihan carefully trudged through a snippet of long grass before spotting an all too familiar tan serpent slithering a few paces ahead.

“Oi, Sandaconda!” He called out for his Pokémon. The large serpent immediately froze and turned its head to look back at Raihan before starting to scurry towards him.

“I missed you too, fella,” Raihan smiled and knelt down to rub its neck pouch. “Where’s Lee gone off to?”

He followed the serpent’s gaze as Sandaconda turned back around and began to head over near a moderately shady area. There were a few Apricorn trees scattered throughout, and Leon was standing next to one of them.

“Let’s see…” he was staring up at the tree from what Raihan could tell—he could only make out Leon’s backside from where he stood.

“Hey, Leon!” Raihan may or may not have shouted his name extra loud, just so he could really hear him, even if he wasn’t that far away.

It was so worth it to watch the man jolt. A small bundle of Apricorns fell onto the ground and Leon quickly spun around to glare at Raihan.

“Not cool, mate. You’re making me drop precious cargo here,” he frowned.

It was a peculiar sight to behold—Leon had his t-shirt pulled out in an attempt to carry as many Apricorns as he possibly could.

“Uh, you want to define ‘precious cargo?’” Raihan walked over towards him. He took the opportunity to reach a hand out and poke at Leon’s exposed abdomen.

“Hey, quit it,” Leon squirmed at his touch. Raihan tried to tickle him the second time, and he laughed. “I mean it, I’m ticklish—Rai!”

Leon struggled to get away from him and almost tripped, but luckily Raihan was there to stop his fall and save the Apricorns he was carrying.

“Alright, alright,” Raihan carefully let go of his arm and glanced at the fruit in his shirt again. “Seriously though, are you tryin’ to become a Greedent or what?”

“No, I was thinking of using the Cram-o-matic back at the dojo once we leave,” he told him in a serious tone. “How’d things go at the Dragon’s Den?”

“Brilliant, actually,” Raihan grinned and reached a hand into his hoodie to pull out a Poké Ball. “I was even able to get you a souvenir!”

“No way,” Leon sounded skeptical. “I thought we weren’t allowed to bring any Pokémon back with us to Galar?”

“This one’s a special exception,” he said. “Come on now, are you going to take it or not?”

“Trade me,” Leon stepped closer and dumped the remaining bundle of Apricorns he had into Raihan’s hoodie—he wasn’t actually expecting Leon to do that, but he carefully held all of them regardless.

He took the Poké Ball and examined it closely. “Should I guess what’s in here?”

“I think you should let the little sweetheart out already,” Raihan told him. “You’re going to be pleasantly surprised, Lee. I promise.”

Leon tossed the ball into the air and, much to Raihan’s pleasure, he gasped.

“A Dratini? No way!” he stared in awe as the small dragon slithered towards him.

“Got her as a gift from the master himself. I passed a test of intelligence and—you aren’t even listening to me, are you?”

Leon was busy admiring Dratini, kneeling down with his hands outstretched for her to crawl into. He lifted her up and grinned.

“You are a beauty, aren’t you?” he cooed, before glancing up at Raihan. “Are you sure you want to give her to me?”

Raihan nodded his head. “Figured you might have been a little bummed about earlier, so…”

Leon was quick to stand back up and close the distance between him and Raihan.

“You’re the best, you know that?” He carefully wrapped one arm around Raihan’s neck, mindful of the Dratini in his other, who still seemed to be enjoying all the attention she’s getting, and pressed a kiss to Raihan’s cheek. “Thank you.”

Raihan wanted so badly to return the favor, but his arms were still full of those silly Apricorns. He settled for a kiss on Leon’s forehead instead.

“Anytime, love,” he smiled.

sometime later…

“Wait, wait—what do you mean I can’t bring these with me?”

The Magnet Train attendee stopped Leon from boarding the passenger car and pointed to his carry-on bag. “I’m sorry, Mr. Leon, but—”

“The Apricorns? Seriously?” his face was full of dismay.

Raihan poked his head out the train door to see what was holding him up and—

“Oh, for the love of Arceus this is absolutely—!”

Leon swore, quite loudly, at the exact same time the train whistle blew. Raihan was very grateful for that.

He was also grateful that the train attendee was so stunned by this small outburst that Raihan was able to grab Leon by his hand and quickly pull him on board.

“I warned you about this,” Raihan carefully shut the train door. “We should probably hide your bag, yeah?" he motioned for Leon to follow him. “You really gave that poor lass quite an earful, you know.”

“I spent a good hour picking all of these, they have no right trying to take them from me,” Leon was clutching his bag closely to his chest. He certainly wasn’t going to let anyone check it now, despite how blatantly obvious it was that something important was inside it.

Raihan shook his head and sighed. “Once again, I can’t believe I’m in love with a Greedent.”

This train ride was going to be a long one.

#pokemon #leon #raihan #truerivalshipping #fanfic #fic #texte #my writing #hello amigos today i give you this thing that has been half-finished for god knows how long #i'm serious i was talking about this fic on twt like... months ago i think LOL #i want raihan to go to johto so bad..... so very bad #but i finally worked out an ending so woohoo i'm posting it here too #i kinda feel a bit shy posting fics nowadays though.. #i still want to work on the multichap one that's unfinished too but life has been ruff #so yeah anyway enough of me here hope ya enjoy this if you read it! thank you

[the-shadow-master]

                           TWO PARTS OF THE SAME SOUL

A very Jily fanfiction

*

"Padfoot, this is honestly such a terrible idea," James said, with a slight hint of a smile of affection towards his best friend.

"Oh, you noticed?" Remus impatiently asked, rolling his eyes. "I should be working on my Transfiguration homework instead of doing... Well, this."

"I should be working on my anything instead of doing this," James sighed, feeling exhausted and too sleepy to even exist. The only positive thing about Padfoot's idea that James could see at this moment, was the following: Lily Evans on the other side of the room, the most beautiful girl James has ever seen, with her hair tied up in a messy bun, and almond-shaped, bright green eyes that narrowed due to concentration and strong determination. The left corner of her lips twisted into a smile, and James felt his heart skipping a beat. She is so beautiful, he thought desperately. How am I even supposed to focus, when she's standing right there, bewitching me, enchanting me, making me fall in love with her, over and over again?

"For the sake of Merlin's shiny and gorgeous beard, Marauders, stop being such party breakers, that is not what you are made for! This is fun! Come on, look at me again!" Sirius snapped, then pulled out his own wand. He thought about hugging Remus, James, and Peter, he remembered their laugh. Sirius thought about the enthralling, gawky smile of his younger brother. Then he smiled, and exclaimed: Expecto Patronum!

There it was: playful, enormous, magnificent, shiny - a dog. Everyone in the room stopped doing what they were doing, in order to see his Patronus running across the Common Room. Sirius felt as if he was going to cry, he was so touched. I might still possess emotions, regardless of what my mother says, he thought, feeling a lump in his throat.

"He is beautiful, Padfoot," Remus said, with a gentle, calming touch in his voice. And oh boy, how much Sirius needed to hear these exact words! 

"Bloody show-off, that's what you are," James muttered to himself.

Sirius smiled even brighter. "Thank you, Moony. And shut up Prongs! Let's see yours now. Let's see everyone's! If I can do it, so can all of you! I promise."

That was easier said than done. They were all trying so hard. A whole bunch of them spent several hours after midnight, right there in warm and cozy Common Room, in an effort to make Sirius proud of them. Just a group of fifteen-year-olds, attempting to produce magic far beyond their ability. Sirius always had ideas that couldn't come true easily.

James looked around the Common Room. Marlene McKinnon was staring daggers into Sirius, far too angry to cast any Charm, let alone to produce a Patronus, while Mary Macdonald's face became tomato red. Alice Fortescue and Frank Longbottom stopped pretending they were participating an hour ago, and they just sat in one armchair, holding hands and talking casually. Peter and Remus were cheering for each other, but James suddenly forgot what he was even doing.

Lily Evans turned around, like she managed to feel his eyes on her. "What's the matter, Potter?” she arched an eyebrow. “Too afraid to try?"

"No.", James replied sharply. She raised both of her eyebrows, and James blushed. "Are you?"

"Of course not," Lily answered, suddenly looking angry. She is so beautiful when she was angry, James thought. And when she is happy. And sad. And sleepy...

"Why don't you do it, then?" James asked, with a smile on his face. Lily frowned. And she is also beautiful when she is frowning, James added.

"Very well, then," Lily finally said. "But I'm warning you - I think I got the hang of this."

"Consider me warned," James winked, and she sighed conciliatory. Then she bit her lip, trying to focus. James felt his heart skipping a beat yet again. He couldn't help it. She wasn't just beautiful, she was also funny, and kind, and smart. She was amazing! And James? He was absolutely in love with her. He was in love with her from the moment he figured out what being in love means. Maybe even longer - he just wasn't aware of that fact before.

Lily seemed as if she wasn't there with all of them. And in her mind, she wasn't. A very pleasant memory came across her mind and managed to surprise her. Remembering it, Lily felt as if she was flying, far, far away. The thing that crossed her mind happened during the summer. It was an extremely warm, sunny day, and she inexplicably ran into James Potter himself. She was shocked, and all she wanted to do is to run away, but what he was doing was so odd that she couldn't help but come closer. He was on his knees, holding a handful of hazelnuts. As she was approaching, she noticed that they are the same color as his eyes. She swallowed hard and painfully because her tongue proved to be useless. She felt mesmerized. James Potter has incredible eyes, she suddenly thought. Who knew?

Before she ran away as far as possible from there, she gathered all her courage and cleared her throat. "Hello, Potter. What are you doing?"

The effect was momentary. James winced, and then he pointed dazed look straight into her. He seemed overwhelmed with shock. Lily glanced at him, struggling with feelings she didn't even know she was capable of feeling, let alone capable of recognizing them. Really amazing eyes, indeed, she thought.

"Evans!" he shouted. "Wow! I mean... It's so good to see y... How are you?"

"I'm good, thank you.", Lily kindly said. "And you?"

"Nice. Good. Yeah.", James seemed as confused as Lily felt. For several moments, the silence was awkward, and they just stood there, looking at each other as if they were seeing each other for the first time in their lives.

"I didn't mean to frighten you," Lily said.

"Frighten? Me? No. I'm not frightened," he replied. His voice was thin and squeaky. It was so awkward.

"You didn't tell me what you were doing," Lily finally said.

"Oh!" James shouted once more. "Well, Evans, I'm trying to lure a squirrel."

"Why?" Lily demanded to know. Really, why? Of all the things James Potter could possibly be doing... Like, what the heck?

"Have you ever touched a squirrel?" James answered her question with a question.

"Well... No," Lily gave him a puzzled reply. "What's that got to do with anything?"

"That's why you're asking. Squirrels are amazing! They are so cute and tiny and..." he suddenly stopped talking. She was looking at him with a smile, and she was sure that's what confused him. But she couldn't help it. It was her first time seeing him so excited over small things, and he was too adorable! She didn't even know he could ever be like that. All she ever knew about him was that he was a spoiled brat and an extremely arrogant and selfish young man. But, as it turned out, James Potter was also capable of being adorable and cute. Adorable cutie with amazing eyes, Lily thought. Who knew?

"Anyways..." James shyly said. "This little fella who is hiding in the bushes came straight into my palm in order to take some hazelnuts. Then he scared himself away, or I scared him off, I have no idea. I'm trying to make him come back."

"Oh," Lily said. James Potter and a squirrel. And exactly when she thought this day couldn't become any more weirder. "That's actually... Kind of adorable."

"You think?" he said absently: "Am I adorable, or the squirrel?"

"Both of you," she heard herself saying before she could stop the words to come out of her mouth.

"Really?" James seemed shocked. So was she. Lily couldn't believe she had said that! She felt extreme heat in her cheeks, filled with shame. She really managed to make a fool of herself! But then, James added: "People were calling me all sorts of names, but never have they called me adorable. I feel flattered, Lily, thank you."

Lily smiled. "Well... You're welcome."

"Do you want to try?", James asked suddenly.

"What? To feed the squirrel?" Lily nervously asked. "Why would I want to try?"

"Because it's fun. Wait a minute... Are you afraid of squirrels?", James seemed astonished.

"No!" Lily exclaimed, too little too fast. "I just... I don't know. I've never been close to one."

"They say there's a first time for everything," James winked at her.

"Who says that?", Lily derisively replied.

"I have no idea. But come here."

James lay down on his stomach, and Lily caught herself doing the exact same thing as he was doing. His shoulder was touching hers. She turned her face towards him. His face was so close, and she moved her sight across it, absorbing every detail: his hazelnut eyes, lips that seemed to be very soft, his messy hair... He looked at her as if he could peek right into her soul. She couldn't even describe to herself how he made her feel. But she had to admit one thing: James Potter was really handsome.

He blinked, just like he was waking up from some kind of trans, and then he gently took her hand, placed one hazelnut onto her palm, withdrew her hand forward, and whispered: "Try not to move. Be very, very still."

It seemed like they were waiting for hours, but it was very pleasant waiting in silence with James Potter. It was surprisingly pleasant just being here with him, and quiet. Then, their patience paid off. Little squirrel carefully came to them. The little one was really careful and worried, but in the end, it jumped onto her palm, grabbed the hazelnut, and then run away, back into the bushes. Lily was stunned. Her eyes were wide open, and she suddenly realized she was biting her lip. What she didn't realize, was that James Potter didn't even take a look at the squirrel. He looked straight into her, completely hypnotized.

"That...Was... Amazing!" Lily exclaimed, and rolled herself onto her back. She was laughing so much. "It's too adorable to even exist!"

"Told you so," James shrugged. "Hey, Evans?"

"Yes?", she replied cautiously. Now what?

James reached out for his backpack and opened it. "I picked up this one for my mother. Surprisingly, she absolutely adores lilies. I wanted to give this to her, but... Here, I want you to have it."

He took out a lily flower out of his backpack and gave it to her. She instinctively took it, too surprised to even think about it. The flower was so beautiful. It was big, red and with a white rim.

"It's beautiful. Thank you," Lily said.

"My mother always says all lilies are beautiful.", James replied, then cautiously added. "And I agree."

Lily smirked. "Flattery will get you everywhere."

They both giggled.

*

And that's what came onto Lily's mind when she pointed her wand in an imaginary spot and  said with strong determination: Expecto Patronum!

Her lips separated in surprise when a graceful and beautiful doe jumped from the top of her wand and started galloping across the Common Room. Lily was extremely touched and looked at her Patronus with a lot of gentle affection. Everyone gathered to look at it. Even Alice and Frank stopped doing what they were doing in order to admire Lily's Patronus. She smiled proudly. And then, out of the blue, James said, looking agitated: "You think that was awesome? I can do it as well."

"Then do it," Lily impatiently replied, feeling annoyed because he interrupted her. "Don't just stand there talking about it."

"I will do it, Evans," James said. He stood there beside her, frowned at her, and then decided to focus. James gathered every atom of his strength and determination. He let his mind wander, and the same memory came to him. He held onto the same event as Lily, only he remembered it differently. He caught himself thinking about her green eyes, looking into him as if they are capable of seeing his very soul. He remembered her laugh, gentle touch of her shoulder, and the way her hair spread across the grass when she rolled herself onto her back. He remembered her gaze, as she reached to take a lily flower from him, while rays of sunshine gently caressed her face. All he could remember is her. And he smiled. Expecto Patronum!

And there it was. Shiny and enormous, looking strong, wild and proud – a deer!

The whole Common Room went silent. It seemed like no one even breathed or blinked. A doe... And a deer.

Lily and James looked at each other, and a deer caught up with a doe way above all of them. At that moment, no one existed in this world, no one but the two of them. They both seemed shocked more than ever. But there was something else they finally realized. There was something more.

"James," she mumbled, confused, at the same time when he whispered: "Lily."

"Oh, wow.", Sirius suddenly said. "This became awkward."

"Shut it, Black," Marlene suddenly said: "This is adorable!"

"Adorable, for sure," Sirius confirmed. "And still awkward. But you all have one thing to admit."

“Now what?" Remus asked, staring into two Patronuses with a smirk on his face.

"I. AM. A. BLOODY. GENIUS!" Sirius enthusiastically exclaimed.

Lily and James didn't hear a thing. They were ignorant of their surroundings. The only thing they were doing was staring into each other's eyes, too fascinated to look away. And the world was silent and empty. Nothing was really present, besides one thing. In Lily's mind, the only existing and real thing in this world was James Potter. And in his mind... The only existing and real thing in this world was Lily Evans.

#jily #jily fanfiction #jily edit #jilyotp #jily otp #james potter #lily evans #james and lily #lily and james #harrypotter #harry potter #harry potter fandom #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter edit

[himbeaux-on-ice]

when I heard that this PO Joseph fella was the Pens new rookie I was like yayyyy new guy hooray for you!!! then they interviewed him without the helmet on (from that cross-ice camera angle that seems to be extremely flattering for everyone) and I’m like hold on, you didn’t tell me he was this CUTE!!

#like... he is a good looking babe #pens lb

[team-iron-wannabe-man]

Count on It

Title: Count on It

Pairing: 40’s!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 1285

Summary: Y/N isn’t too impressed with the Infamous Sergeant James B. Barnes, however Bucky is definitely interested in her.

A/N: 40′s Bucky just does things to me! This is my first Bucky fic! Please be kind. Tell your friends! Feedback would be greatly appreciated! Also, if you LOVE Supernatural like me, follow me on my SPN page: @squirrel-moose-winchester. I also write fan fiction there as well.

Disclaimer: Gif Not Mine.

The party was in full swing and through the crowded room, you managed to spot the infamous Sergeant James B. Barnes standing near the wall. The past few weeks, he had been coming around you, chatting you up, and flirting shamelessly. Tonight was no different. He’d been stealing glances at you as he sipped his drink, talking to his best friend, Steve Rogers. Whenever you saw Bucky with Steve, it was like he was a different person. If only he was that Bucky all the time. Steve-Bucky was a pleasant Bucky.

When it came to Steve, Bucky always had a soft spot for the fella. He was always keeping him out of trouble, reassuring Steve every time he felt discouraged. Overall, Bucky always acted like an overprotective, yet encouraging, big brother. It was admirable and – dare you say – your favorite thing about the man. The protective, humble, compassionate, and selfless part of him were all traits that made him extremely attractive. Not what he was most of the other times.

Not long after, as to be predicted, Dot came swarming around like a mosquito, causing you to roll your eyes. It was to be assumed that if Bucky was around, Dot was not far behind. The dame was obsessed.

Once Upon a time, she had been the affection in Bucky’s eyes, but when he suddenly stopped pursuing her, in favor of you, she started fawning over him, trying way too hard to gain back his attention. It was sad… and cringing to watch, even more so than having Bucky flirt with you.

Turning in your seat, you asked the bartender for another round, giving him a sweet smile as thanks. Swirling the amber liquid in your glass, you didn’t notice that you had company.

“What’s a rare dish like you doin’ all alone in a place like this?” Some Sad Sam slurred. You rolled your eyes inwardly, ignoring him. “Oh, c’mon. Don’t be like that. I can show you a real good time,” he continued to pester you.

“Look here, dogface. I ain’t interested, so scram,” You hissed.

“Playing hard to get?” He snickered. “I like a good ch—”

“I believe she made it clear that she wasn’t interested.” Your eyes widened slightly, surprised to see Bucky defending you, however you tried to keep your composure. You weren’t phased by Bucky Barnes. Not one bit. His charms weren’t going to affect me like all the other dames he’s accumulated under his belt.

“Tch. Whatever Barnes,” the guy scoffed and walked away without much of a fight.

Bucky shook his head disapprovingly before dropping his attention on you. “Are you okay?” He asked, his expression portraying real worry.

“Yeah. I’m just peachy. Thanks for that, but you really didn’t need to. I could have handled it.”

“Oh, Doll, I wouldn’t doubt it. I’ve seen you around. You’re quite the capable woman, but chivalry isn’t dead yet,” he winked.

Letting out a soft giggle at his ridiculousness, you looked up at him through your lashes. “With men like you, Sergeant, I’m sure it never will.”

Bucky smiled with pride, sticking his hand out. “Care for a d—”

“James! Is she alright?” Dot came barging in. The tramp had impeccable timing. “Y/N, are you okay? We saw what happened.”

“Oh, I’m doing swell,” you forced a smile.

“It’s a good thing that James was around to save the day,” she flattered, clinging to his arm.

“I sure am one lucky dame,” you grinned. “If you’ll excuse me, nature calls.” Bucky laughed, nodding his head before giving you some space to move.

“James, let’s dance,” you heard Dot say from behind, making you scoff in annoyance.

After freshening up a bit, you literally ran into Steve. “Whoa!” He jumped a little. “Hey there, Y/N!” He beamed, once he knew it was you. Steve wasn’t the smoothest guy when it came to dealing with women.

“Fancy meeting you here, Rogers,” you joked.

“Uh, yeah. Bucky invited me. Said I needed to let loose. Meet a nice girl…”

“Sounds like Barnes… but I have a better idea. Instead of waiting around for a nice girl, why don’t you ask a good friend to dance?” you quirked an eyebrow at the scrawny man. Steve may have not been the manliest looking man, but even with your heels on, he was still a tad bit taller than you.

“Um. Yeah. Of course,” he stammered apprehensively.

You couldn't help but laugh as his face went red, the poor guy getting nervous. “Rogers, we’re friends. Relax,” you cooed, giving him a warm reassuring smile.

He returned the gesture, the edge of his lips curling upwards, and nodded. “You’re right. Sorry. Y/N. W-would you like to dance?”

“I thought you’d never ask,” you beamed, assertively taking his hand and dragging him onto the dance floor.

You and Steve were having a great time, swaying and twirling to the jazzy music, and laughing between conversations. Steve had just twirled you under his arm when Bucky popped up beside the pair of you, with Dot in his arms.

“Mind if we join you?” Bucky asked with a wide grin. You noticed Bucky lean in slightly towards Steve, whispering something in his ear. “Punk, trying to steal my girl?”  If Bucky was trying to be discreet or subtle, he was failing. Even with the music blaring, you could here the words he spoke. Glancing over at Dot, her glare was all over you.

Great.

“Shut up, will ya? You and I both know that Y/N’s too good for you,” you watched Steve retort back, smugness spreading through your facial expression. Steve was right. You were too good for him. You deserved better than some womanizer, no matter how handsome or charming he may be.

Bucky laughed loudly, his head flying back before he patted his best friends shoulder. “Damn right she is.” He was whispering to Steve again, still loud enough for you to pick up on. “But that’s why she’s my girl. I’m gonna prove to her that I’ve got what it takes!” Bucky expressed passionately, a huge smile adorning his manly features.

Steve smiled, never seeing or hearing Bucky talk about a woman that way before. Bucky had never referred to a girl as his, not even Dot, and the man had proclaimed that he was in love with her, that is until you showed up. That first meeting was one he and Bucky was never going to forget. How could they?

It was at a bar in downtown Brooklyn. Someone tried to steal your purse, but you managed to not only stop the perpetrator, you knocked him out. He’d never seen a woman so fierce and fearless as you. It was even more of a surprise when they found out that you were the Command Sergeant Major’s daughter! But ultimately, it was your right hook that made Bucky fall.

In support of his friend, Steve decided to do Bucky a favor. You’re only as good of a wingman and you are a friend, so… “hey, how about we switch partners for a bit?” Steve suggested to the trio in front of him.

Dot looked like she was about to protest but Bucky jumped at the idea before she could, seizing the opportunity, he had no doubt, Steve had set up.

“Steve, you punk! You know I love you right?” Bucky hugged his friend before taking your hand in his. “Shall we?” He beamed. His smile was so contagious that you couldn’t help yourself. You’d give him an A+ for trying.

“You haven’t won yet, Sergeant Barnes,” you smirked, shaking your head at him.

“But I will, Doll. I will… you can count on it.”

---

A/N: Hope you guys liked it! If you did, feedback would be awesome! I’d really appreciate it. Also, thank you for reading. I really do hope it wasn’t terrible.

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #james buchanan barnes #bucky fan fiction #bucky fanfic #bucky barnes fan fiction #bucky barnes fanfic #sebastian stan characters #mcu #marvel #captain america #winter soldier #Count on It #team-iron-wannabe-man

[dearoldtuxedo]

The Love Interest

In 2017, Taft Studios hired a new screenwriter for their popular, and long-running show, The Banana Splits. Her name was Sammie Satterlee, and ever since they recruited her on the staff, she impressed the audience with her diversed setting scenarios. 

Some new episodes took up morals that are rarely explored among children, and needed to be talked about more. The Sour Grape girls were given more personalities, rather than being reduced to cute, sassy dolls. She made Bingo and Drooper explicitly POC coded, so that minority children can see themselves in their favorite characters, even allowing some POC to guest star on the show. Bingo spoke Spanish occasionally, and Drooper celebrated Kwanzaa for a holiday themed episode. Stevie was also given a decent dose of character development.

Then, at that year, 2018, Sammie was ready to take on a new challenge: Introduce an LGBTQ+ character. Around this generation, a lot of children's media has been accepting of queer themes. The whole purpose was to help kids acknowledge that queer romance is just the same as the typical heterosexual romance. There is nothing inherently sexual about it.

Plus, Sammie happened to be queer herself. She grew up loving The Banana Splits throughout her childhood, and is still a fan to this day. She also grew up around a lot of homophobia at that time. Projecting sexualities/trans identities onto characters is a method of feeling more accepting, more valid. The same method queer kids on the internet use "headcanons" for. Queer children deserve representation. Sesame Street won't do it, so The Banana Splits might as well.

What better way to have one of the Bananas come out than giving them a male love interest? But, which Banana shall have a love interest? Fleegle seems too independent for a lover, regardless of what gender. Bingo prefers pranks and adventure over romance. And Snorky, even though as old as his fellow band mates, bears childlike innocence, so he's not ready for an adult love interest. The only option left was Drooper.

Yes, Drooper will work, she thought. The poor lion is considered the loser of the bunch. What if he had a sweet darling that would tell him how valid he is? Drooper's so clumsy, he's always falling down. Now, he needs someone to catch him and pick him back up on his feet. Sammie then started to sketch out her ideas.

That's when she conjured up Tux the snow leopard! Tux was short for Tucker, also defining his wardrobe, which was a tuxedo. The reason she chose a snow leopard was due to their majestic appearance, and she wanted Tux to come out as sort of a romantic gentleman. Also, because he should be a feline like Drooper. She drew out a reference concept of Tux, along with additional sketches of him and Drooper acting lovey-dovey with each other, and written a bio.

Tux was presented as a muscled man, a contrast opposite to Drooper's skinny frame. This snow leopard was purposely intended to be the hero to Drooper's damsel in distress. He sure is a handsome fella, but he's pretty dumb as well. That didn't matter. He's perfect for Drooper. Tux would be somewhat special to Drooper, like he understands him, he cherishes him, and he's willing to take a punch in the face for him.

After giving the references to Karl, and a bit of debate, the engineer decided to take a shot at it. Reading through Tux's biography, his personality and characteristics had quite interest Karl. This snow leopard certainly didn't possess the same energy as his other boys. Fleegle was the intellectual leader, Bingo was fun and energetic, Drooper was the butt of bad luck, and Snorky was the baby of the group. Tux was different. It would be quite complicated for a stoic machine to act out all these actions. Unless...

What if he gave this animatronic fully functional emotions? Karl always wanted to try something new. A robot with emotions would probably be his greatest achievement yet. No other engineer has dared to try it out. Not only will the idea be impressive, but his feelings would be very convincing.

After almost a month, Tux was completed. Although he matched his reference drawing perfectly, he appeared to be seven feet tall, instead of being two inches shorter than Drooper. Speaking of Drooper, not only were emotions installed into his databanks, but he was also programmed to fall in love with no one but said lion. 

Karl decided to showcase Tux to Sammie. He then activated the mechanical snow leopard. It took some time for Tux to get into motion, but as soon as he saw those humans in sight, he stepped back nervously. He touched around at himself for a moment, and scanned his surroundings. He was now alive, and he wasn't sure how he felt about this. The animatronic walked around the room, picking up items at random. He went back to Sammie and spoke for the first time.

"Hello. I'm... I'm..."

Karl answered for him.

"Tux." "I'm Tux. Pleasure to meet you. ...I think. Say, could you tell me where am I? What is going on? What is my objective?"

Just as Sammie could say anything, the Splits had entered the room. Tux turned his attention towards them by instinct. The very sight of Drooper had already triggered him into love mode. The feeling of seeing the lion was undescribable to him, but since it's in his programming, he knew how to act. He stared at the lion for awhile, then ran over to him. Tux took his paw into his.

"Hello. I am Tux. Pardon me if this sounds so sudden, but, I love you."

The animatronic kissed Drooper's hand, even though he just gapped his mouth open a bit and pressed it against the paw.

"Do you love me?"

Drooper was confused by this abrupt gesture, and had no opinion about it due to his lack of emotions. Still, he responded anyways.

"I love you too, Tux! I love all my friends!"

Tux was quite offended, having to be considered a "friend." Sammie decided to clear things up for the lion animatronic.

"Uh, Drooper, this is Tux. He is your new boyfriend. You know, like, a lover. As in you two are in love. Or at least, pretend to be, for the show."

A new boyfriend? Drooper doesn't remember agreeing to that. He just met the snow leopard, and all of a sudden, they're lovers? The lion isn't sure how he feels about that, especially since he doesn't return the snow leopard's attraction. Then again, Tux is a pretty nice guy. And it's not like they're forcing him to love him back. After all, she did say he could pretend for the show. Since the Splits aren't on the air right now, they might as well just be friends. Drooper shook his hand and greeted the new recruit.

"Very nice meetin' ya, Tux! I'm Drooper! This is Fleegle, Bingo, and Snorky! Welcome to The Banana Splits! Enjoy your stay, friend!"

He still deemed Tux as a "friend." That's not what Tux wanted. He didn't just come alive, fall in love instantly, only for it to turn out to be one-sided. Tux figured, he will get this lion to love him back, even if it kills him.

And so, for the last four days, Tux wasn't ready to be onscreen, so that gave him enough time to win Drooper's affection. The snow leopard had snuck into Rebecca's computer to find information on how to woo a person. Then he'd capture that info into his system.

Tux tried presenting Drooper with a flower (one of the props). He was flattered, took the flower, and patted Tux on the head. But walked away afterwards.

He tried serenading a romantic song, which was performed by the Splits in another era. 🎵I enjoy being a boy, in love with youuuuuuuuuu.🎶 Once again, Drooper was flattered, and applauded his performance, but still, walked away.  

Next, he tried the extreme. Tux grabbed Drooper, dipped him, and planted his mouth onto his, giving him a kiss. That only resulted in Drooper pushing him so hard, he knocks him down on his bum. 

No matter what technique he tried, his attempts all failed. And Drooper showed no signs of loving him back. Today was scheduled for Tux to make his physical appearance. But before he's ready to be on the show, he discussed his issue with Karl.

"My lover... ...doesn't love me. What have I done wrong?" 

Karl knew exactly what the problem was. It's not what Tux has done, but how Drooper feels. The lion animatronic was built to be emotionless, so it's impossible for him to accept a handsome man's gesture. Maybe Karl can fix that. 

"Settle down, my boy. You'll get what you want. I promise."

He then called Drooper over for a tune up. The only way for the two's feelings to be mutual is to install the lion with the same features programmed into Tux's databanks. The snow leopard held his hands together tightly. Soon, he and Drooper will be bond together at last. Together, forever. He'll have him close to him. They'll hold hands. The two will spend their entire lives as one until they rust. Karl then motioned that he had the notion of giving the other Splits emotions as well, so that they can embrace Tux like a family member. He wanted to make his greatest achievement feel at home.

“Yeah yeah sure. Now hurry up with the process!”

Suddenly, Rebecca entered the workshop, announcing that the whole "LGBTQ+ representation" project was officially canceled.

While the news of The Banana Splits having an LGBTQ+ character on their show received largely positive from the queer community, they've also gained negative, violent feedback from those who were against it. They were being accused of "attempting to encourage children into sexual acts," and called out for spreading "leftist SJW propaganda."

It gets much worse. Straight parents set up a campaign to boycott the show. Stevie threatened to quit because he refuses to work around a "cybernetic f@gg3t." And Andy, the network executive, blackmailed that he would pull the plug on their show if they let this "gay shit" slip onto TV. Sammie was fired, and the whole assignment was history.

Karl stopped what he was doing, leaving Tux confused.

"Aren't you gonna-" "I'm afraid there's no reason to anymore, my boy." "But, Karl- Drooper- You said I could have what I want! YOU PROMISED!" “I wish I could keep it, but I don't think I have a choice. I'm sorry." "I don't believe it. How could you be SO SELFISH?! HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT ABOUT HOW I FEEL?! PLUG HIM BACK IN, RIGHT NOW!" “I can't-" "ALL I WANT IS MY KITTEN TO LOVE ME! DOESN'T ANYBODY CARE?!!"

The snow leopard threw a big tantrum. A single stomp on the ground made the floor shake. Then, he shoved items off of counters, and smashed stuff, while screaming at the top of his voice. He was absolutely terrifying at that moment. Tux turned to Rebecca, thinking it was all her fault. She tried to tell him to stand down, but he was too stubborn. He grabbed her by the neck, and pressed her against the wall. With Tux's back turned away, that gave Karl the opportunity to shut him down. Tux let go of Rebecca, and fell over unconscious.

Poor Tux. Maybe giving him emotions was a bad idea. As it turns out, he's not mature enough to know how to handle them, which makes him too unstabled. After that traumatized experience, Rebecca demanded that Karl should get rid of him this instant.

After she left, the three other aninatronics entered the workshop. Karl stared down at Tux for a minute. The snow leopard animatronic didn't mean to cause any harm. He's just a little faulty, with his ardent coding and all. Karl never worked out how he would have Tux cope with his emotions. The engineer couldn't bring himself to throwing out what he thought was gonna be his greatest achievement yet, so he asked his four to dispose of Tux for him. Karl then left the workshop to see if he could calm Rebecca down.

Four of the Splits gazed upon the now deactivated animatronic. They, including Drooper, felt a bit sorry for him. Why put him to waste? There's still some potential in him. The sad case just wanted, and needed, some love like they have had. A new Banana Splits member is still a member. Besides, he was much nicer to them than Stevie.

"What are we gonna do with him?"

So, rather than dragging his metal carcass to the dumpster, they all agreed to hide his body, behind a couple of boxes and bins in the corner. Perhaps he will make himself useful. Someday.

#The one who turned a banana cherry red [Tux] #Dear sweet kitten [Drooper] #Lover cats [Tux and Drooper] #Bleeding heart [Horrorverse] #Homophobia tw

[silkkpopbonnet]

7 Nights of Monsta X

Pre-Game

The bold indicates texting, just in case someone gets confused

“I’m adding her to the group chat now,” Hyungwon sat down heavily in a high-backed chair in the living room. Crossing one leg over the other, he watched as the rest of his members gathered around and sat. “Do not embarrass me.” 

“No one is going to, come on, add us already.” Kihyun sat on the floor, legs crossed with his phone near his face. 

As everyone else took out their phones ready and waiting, slowly Hyungwon let his fingers drift over their numbers and added the guys one by one. 

“Let’s just introduce ourselves, leader to youngest, and send a picture then wait for her to respond.” Hyungwon instructed.

Shownu took a deep breath, typing quickly he lifted his phone opting to take a right now photo instead of one of the ones he had saved. 

Smiling, Wonho already had his message typed and sent a picture of him shirtless and flexing. 

“Come on hyung!” Minhyuk shook his head. “Not all of us look like carved marble.” 

“I like to work out, I want her to like my results.” 

Jooheon rolled his eyes, sending a picture of himself. “What woman doesn’t?” 

“You’d be surprised.” Shownu and Wonho said in unison. 

“Wait,” I.M. sat up excitedly. “She’s responding.” 

Kihyun and Minhyuk had been jealous that I.M. had been the first to talk to her last night. They spent half of the day speaking to each other in English, practicing different phrases. Unsurprisingly enough, it was Hyungwon, Shownu , and Wonho who were the most relaxed about the whole thing. Jooheon was on the fence and everyone could see the visible sweat on I.M.’s brow though he swore he was excited to meet her and cool as a cucumber. 

Alexis: Hey fellas, I am seeing some very handsome faces in your group. I’m quite flattered that you would choose me to entertain you. 

She sent six pictures of herslef to the chat. Everyday looks, out and about, as well as some full body racy shots. 

Wonho: We were stunned by you, so I suppose the feeling is mutual.

Jooheon grunted. “Show off.” 

Jooheon: So let’s cut to the chase, who is more attractive? Who do you like best? 

“Don’t ask her that.” Shownu interrupted before typing in the chat. 

Shownu: You don’t have to answer that, I’m sorry. We are excited to see you tonight.

Minhyuk: Is there something special you'd like for us to do? Have ready for you? 

I.M.: Champagne?

Alexis: LOL! I find all of you equally handsome. There is something about each of you that I find irresistible. We can save that for later. I’m thinking this first night we can get to know each other. Talk, mingle and see where it goes from there. I have to learn seven men over the course of eight days?

Hyungwon: A month if you like us that much

Kihyun: Maybe longer if you like what we can give you

Alexis: And what exactly do you have that I would like Kihyun?

He faltered, nearly dropping his phone as the other members snapped their heads up to look at him. 

Kihyun: You’ll see.

Alexis: So you’re a tease? 

Hyungwon: I think that title belongs to Wonho and I.

Alexis: I wondered where you were

Hyungwon: Me? 

Alexis: Yes, you, with the pretty lips

Wonho: Don’t butter him up, we’ll never hear the end of it. What time are we expecting you tonight? We can play some games to lighten the mood.

Alexis: Eight p.m. Hyungwon already sent me the address. 

Alexis: Question....do any of you play with each other?

Eyes darted around the room as a few settled on each other. Grins were shared and chuckle exchanged. There was a fluidity among the members that quite possibly wasn’t present in some groups, no need for extreme masculinity or overt maleness. The simple aspect of pleasure was given and shared by many and that’s all there was. There were no questions or comments to be made about it. 

Shownu: Some of us play well with the others. We know each other best. You’ll see. We will let you rest and get on with your day. It was nice talking to you, Alexis. 

Alexis: I’m already intrigued. See you later. 

Tossing his phone to the side, Hyungwon stood up and stretched. “I feel as though I should pregame.” 

“Tell everyone why don’t you? We have like four hours whats the use?” Jooheon shrugged. “We should clean up, order something light, or cook, except Hyungwon, shower and dress appropriately.” 

“I agree with that, except we should order something before she gets here.” Shownu nodded.

“I’m going to work out then, my room is clean, we just need to spruce up. Shouldn’t take long.” Wonho was already dressed for the gym. “It’ll take me two hours.” He glanced at Shownu. “Coming?”

“I’ll vacuum first.” 

“Then let’s get to it.” Tossing Kihyun a rag, Minhyuk got to picking up stray odd and ends. 

As the evening wound down, each man found himself in a bathroom or in front of a mirror inspecting himself or someone else. It was Hyungwon and Joheon who coordinated outfits for the night. Black was the go-to color, silk shirts open and breezy. While some chose leather pants, others opted for slacks. Minhyuk was making sure the refreshments were lined neatly on their trays, while I.M. cleaned several glasses before making sure the champagne was chilled. Shownu and Wonho were moving furniture back and placing a small eating table in the middle of the floor. Kihyun was turning on the fire place to a low setting, all the while stopping in front of whatever mirror to make sure his hair was perfectly coiffed. Hyungwon was giving directions, while Jooheon was changing his pants for the third time that night. 

When the doorbell rang all seven heads popped up from wherever they were as Shownu put his hands up for calm. 

“I.M. and Hyungwon answer the door. Everyone else stands here and wait.” 

“We can’t crowd her! That’s weird.” Opting for slacks, Jooheon buttoned his pants and stood in the living room. “Look casual.”

Wonho shook his head. “Sitting is rude, she’s a lady and a guest.”

“Just go, she’s probably wondering what’s taking so long.” Shownu waved the two off. 

As Hyungwon got closer to the door, he primed his chapstick once more, puckering his lips. 

“You look nice hyung, no worries.” I.M. smiled as he took a deep breath and opened the door. 

Alexis was tall like Minhyuk wanted, she had to be at least 5’8”. Long, shapely brown legs tapered up to wide hips and a slim waist. She wore a midi, black lace dress that tapered very low in the front, curving gently around the swells of her breasts. She wore a layered gold necklace a single pendant on one, the other held a gold rose with lacquered green petals. 

“Hyungwon and I.M.” Her silky voice crooned at them, one hand on her hip, the other held a small gold purse. “It’s nice to finally meet you.” 

I.M. dropped his phone, stared back at her and then smiled fumbling the device several times before he managed to pick it up. “I’m sorry.” He moved to one side, ushering Alexis inside. 

“Nervous?” She asked sweetly, as she strode past him in red-bottomed heels. She smelled warm and gentle, hints of lavender, ylang-ylang, chamomile, and marjoram, oozed from her skin. Alexis’s fingers brushed gently over I.M.’s chest, as she turned slightly back to look at him with a heated gaze. “Don’t be, we’re just talking, right? If anything else happens,” Leaning close, I.M. held his breath hoping his heart would stop beating so loud. “I’ll lead the way.” 

He could die right here and be happy. She spoke of confidence like it was her first language, dripped it from every pore. From the way she reached out and knew that Hyungwon would take her hand as she took off her shoes to the way she handed her purse back to I.M. and knew he would stand there. She was a queen, and he would kill to just be a slave in her court. 

Fine, long fingers brushed over Hyungwon’s cheek as she smiled at him. “Your lips are divine, but I don’t need to tell you that do I?” 

“Never,” Taking her hand, Hyungwon kissed her knuckles and continued to hold it. “You smell amazing, let me lead the way and introduce my friends.” 

“Of course, I’m eager to meet you all.” 

I.M. stood back a little, she had more than stunned him. Suddenly, he felt small. Everyone else had the confidence to go along with such bravado, especially Wonho, Hyngwon and Jooheon but him? Playing for videos was one thing, this was real life. He didn’t want to make a fool of himself in front of such a beautiful woman who probably had little time for men such as him. 

He looked up and saw Hyungwon frowning at him, urging him to hold his head up. He could do this, they were just talking. He was going to live up to the hype he lied about. 

Alexis walked into the living room of five standing men, smiling and nodding their heads at her. One by one they introduced themselves again though she already knew their names. The rug under her feet was plush and soft, Hyungwon helped her into a sitting position and sat next to her. 

“Don’t you guys look nice?” Her eyes lingered on Wonho, as her belly gave a flop. He was definitely the type to pick her up and fuck her while her head leaned back. “The leather suits you nicely.” 

“We can see if it’s something you like as well.” He handed her a glass of champagne. 

So he was smooth with comebacks in person as well? Alexis grinned. “I’m eager to try.” 

Wonho winked at her, while Minhyuk and Kihyun carried in small trays setting them on a table in the middle of the large carpet. 

“Tell us about you, Alexis, that is something we did not ask.” Minhyuk smiled, as Jooheon sat down on her other side.

“What do you want to know? I can be an open book.” She turned her head to acknowledge Jooheon, fingers slipping over his. His dimples were deep, and she grinned at his rugged-boyish features. 

“Where are you from?” Kihyun asked he was sitting across the table, clearly jealous of the space that Hyungwon and Jooheon took. 

“The US, more accurately New York. I came to Korea about two months ago, before I was in Busan.” 

Shownu nodded his head. “You needed a change of scenery?” 

Alexis knew how much to disclose and what to keep to herself, you had to in this line of work. In truth, she followed her benefactor here, but it was also to see something else. New York only offered so many opportunities and truth be told, the work for her was better her. As wrong as it seemed she was going to capitalize on being a black woman in Korea. 

“Well, I’m actually seeking my masters in Philosophy. Other than that, yes, I needed to get away from the US and see the world. Korea seemed like a great place to start.” 

“So you’d like to go to other places?” Wonho inquired. 

“Thailand, Vietnam, Taiwan, Italy, a few other places. To go home to Korea after short trips is what my goal is.” 

They guys nodded, while she sipped her champagne. It had a peach after taste and was perfectly chilled.

“Philosophy, so you’re a critical thinker, base your objections in logic?” I.M. finally found the strength to say something. 

Alexis grinned at I.M. nodding her head his way. “Exactly it demands strong communication skills in speech and writing. Which is demanded of me everyday.” She let her words linger, they knew what she meant. 

As the evening drifted on and the guys seemed to loosen up, alcohol in their systems and Alexis making them feel at ease, it was Jooheon who suggested the table be moved to play the paper pass game. 

“Not fair,” Wonho smiled. “You’re sitting next to Alexis.” 

“So, let’s do this.” Kihyun stood up. “After each round, we get to move and someone else sits next to her.” 

“Fair.” Minhyuk nodded. 

Much to the chagrin of Hyungwon and Jooheon. 

“Wait,” Alexis grinned, watching as Shownu got up and secured several small pieces of paper. “What is this game?” 

“I’ll put the paper on my mouth,” Jooheon explained. “I’ll pass it to you, and you must pass it to Hyungwon without dropping it. He has to take it from your mouth, we go around in a circle until we get back to you.” 

“So what happens to the person who dropped it?” 

“They go to the end of the line and lose another opportunity to move closer to you.” Hyungwon grinned. 

“If this is about kissing me,” Alexis leaned to her left and planted her lips on Hyungwon gently. “You could have asked.” 

Hyungwon wasn’t shy. Turning her face back towards him, he stole another kiss, letting his tongue linger over her bottom lip this time. “Your lips will be too sore I think.” 

“Maybe,” Alexis could feel the combination of being turned on and the alcohol start to warm her core. Turning to her right, she kissed Jooheon. “Or it could be a whole lot of fun, we can play the game of who can sit still while I kiss you.” 

“I like that better, throw the paper away.” Kihyun moved positions so he was near Jooheon. 

Laughing, Alexis stood up slowly. “In a line gentleman.” Her fingers caressed the back of Wonho’s neck as he passed her. “Hands in your lap, palms flat on your thighs. You get to watch each other, whoever moves, I stop, you lose.” 

“What does the winner get?” I.M. smiled, noticing how her gaze softened on him. 

“This first night goes to you.” 

Looking at each other, the guys grinned, ready for the fight. 

“Let’s play fellas.” 

Shownu was first, they decided to sit, leader to youngest, I.M. on the end palms sweaty as he watched his leader with rapt attention. 

Alexis kneeled in front of Shownu, arms on his shoulders as she leaned in closely. “Tell me what you like Shownu.” 

“I’m not picky,” He was trying not to lean forward into her scent. Trying his hardest not to lick his lips and accidentally touch hers. “Do what you want and I’m guaranteed to like it.” 

“Easy to please? My favorite kind of man.” 

“Hey!” Jooheon groaned from farther down the line. 

Alexis chuckled as her hand touched the back of Shownu’s head, playing in his dark hair. He moaned a bit, eyes closed as her nails rubbed his scalp. Mouth close, a chaste kiss on his mouth, their leader sat still, hands clenching his leather pants as both of Alexis's hands played in his hair. She sat up, and the warm smell of her skin enveloped Shownu. He couldn’t help it, just as her lips caressed his again, he dipped his head and gave a long lick to the top of her breasts. 

“Out,” Wonho tapped Shownu’s shoulder. “My turn.” 

Groaning, Shownu smiled a gentle grin that almost had Alexis heart-melting. He may be vanilla, but Shownu was sensual, he took his time and that was something she missed about this line of work. The romance, with the way he was looking at her, Shownu promised to show her just that. 

Chuckling, Alexis kissed Shownu’s cheek one last time before sitting in front of Wonho. “You look tough.” 

“So does Shownu.” His face may have been impassive, but the way his eyes ravaged her body, Alexis knew better. 

Subtle touching wasn’t going to work on him, or was it? Alexis immediately leaned forward her mouth on Wonho’s. Gentle pecks that turned into her tongue grazing over his lips, biting his lower lip. His fingers may have clenched but he didn’t move. Not even when Alexis pulled up her dress just enough to sit in his lap and grind down on his pelvis. He was hard, a fact that couldn’t go unnoticed as thick as his thighs were in these pants. Slowly, Alexis rubbed her hands over the growing length he hid, just as she raised one hand and tapped Wonho’s bottom lip. 

“Open.” 

Obediently, as he did so she squeezed his length earning a hiss as his hand covered hers. 

“Out!” Minhyuk and Kihyun laughed in unison. 

The rest of the game went the same, Minhyuk moved as soon as Alexis dragged her fingers down his chest, while Kihyun held on a bit longer but when she placed her hands gently on his throat he whimpered and grabbed her arms. Hyungwon was the same as Wonho, it took her grinding in his lap before he held onto her face and just decided to take his kiss. Jooheon was out when she placed his finger in her mouth and sucked on it. 

I.M. was last, sitting as still as he could, he licked his lips while still smiling Alexis reached out and caressed his cheek. “The baby boy.” 

I.M narrowed his eyes at her. “Not a baby.” 

“Aren’t you? I feel like you take instruction well. If I tell you to kiss me, will you?”

In his mind, he screamed yes, but Changkyun knew better. “I’ll lose.” 

Instead, she lifted his hand and placed it on her chest, massaging her breast gently as beads of sweat began to form on I.M.’s forehead. Then it was getting in his face, securing her mouth to his and listening to him breathe heavily, trying not to move his mouth. He couldn’t hold on when her fingers began to creep up his thighs, his hand still on her breast, no one missed the eager squeeze he gave her. 

Shownu called him out, mimicking the way I.M. gripped her breast. As they sat around laughing, Alexis lounging on the floor in front of the men, she winked and pointed at Wonho. 

“You held out the longest, it might have been a time between you and Hyungwon but the way he snatched his arms up was too fast.” 

Nodding his head in victory, Wonho smiled. “We have a spare room, I’ll leave so you can rest for the night if you want to rest.” 

“If?” Alexis chuckled. “Let me freshen up, and Hyungwon tomorrow is all for you?”

“I’ll be waiting.” 

Night One: Wonho

#7 nights of monsta x #7 nights series #monsta x #shownu #hyungwon #wonho #minhyuk #kihyun #i.m. monsta x #jooheon #kpop smut #kpop ambw

[solei28]

Tiny Sweets- Bucky/Reader One-Shot

Notes: I’m not really good at reader fics or one-shots, but hey, you gotta start somewhere, right? Feedback will be greatly appreciated. I also have this up on AO3 under Casual Encounters. My profile is https://archiveofourown.org/users/Solei89/profile if you want to follow me there. Just saying. You can if you want :D. I hope you enjoy it. 

It was quiet and cold this morning. Most people were still in bed, wrapped up and warm. How he wished he could enjoy that peace of mind. Instead, one James Buchanan Barnes was dragging himself through the freshly fallen snow. A nightmare still fresh in his mind.

After he shot up from the horrific dream, he decided a walk would help him. So, he got dressed and left his Brooklyn apartment. He made his way to a nearby park about 15 minutes from his building. After aimlessly walking around for however long he did (he wasn’t keeping track), he felt the need for a cup joe sinking in.

He left the park from a different side he doesn't usually go through, hoping to find something open this early (it was 7:15 am) on a Sunday morning. To his surprise, there was a small cafe open on the corner parallel to the where he exited the park.

He made his way over to the shop that had a hanging sign that read Tiny Sweets. When he walked in, he was immediately struck by the wonderful aroma of freshly brewed coffee and baked treats. The place was small and only had 3 round table scattered about and one table tucked in a corner by the window. He decided he would sit at the table by the window so he could see who, if anyone, came in.

“Good morning!” a cheery voice pulled his attention to the counter.

James was floored by your beauty and the bright smile on your face. Your eyes were kind with a hint of mischief. Your lips were succulent and he imagined for a moment what they tasted like. It was only when you frowned a bit that he noticed he was staring at you.

Clearing his through he quickly said, “Morning,” voice gruff and low.

Your smile perked up again. “What can I get you?”

James walked up to the counter. “A coffee, please.”

“Sure thing. How do you like it?” you asked.

His mind may have wondered to something more intimate, but he snapped himself out of it quickly. “Cream and 2 sugars.”

“Coming right up.” You walked over to a shelf with mugs. “Is this your first time here?”

“Yeah,” he answered while he watched you intently as you made his coffee.

Turning with the mug in your hands, you made your way back to the counter. “Welcome to my shop, Tiny Sweets.”

Your voice was melodic. James found himself completely enamored by you, yet he didn’t even know your name.

“Thank you,” he finally managed, taking the mug from your hands. It smelled heavenly.

You looked at him and your eyes lit up for a moment. “Hold on.” You went over to where there were an array of tiny baked goods, grabbed a small plate and put a pastry on it. “Here you go. Its a strawberry and cream puff pastry. It’s on the house.”

James blinked in surprise at the generous offer. “You don’t have-”

You cut him off before he could protest. “I already did. Besides, you look like you could use a pick me up. Enjoy it.”

James smiled shyly at you and thanked you again before stuffing some bills in the tip jar. He ignored the look you gave him because you knew he was still trying to pay for it. He made his way over to the table by the window. The coffee was perfect, and he had to hold in a moan at how delicious the pastry was. He could see himself in here every day of the week.

James had been frequenting Tiny Sweets for a few months now. You saw him at least 3 times a week. Sometimes he would come in as soon as you unlocked the door. Other times he would come in after the morning rush. This time, he came in the evening and he was with someone.

“Hi, James!” You greet him with that big smile that makes him melt.

“Hi, Y/N,” James says shyly. The tall, dark handsome fellow he walked in with elbows him in the ribs and it hit you that he was the Falcon. “Oh, this is my friend, Sam.”

“Hello, Sam,” you say stretching a hand over the counter.

“Hey. Nice to finally meet ya,” Sam says excitedly shaking your hand.

You quirk an eyebrow up and look at James, who can’t seem to look at you. “Well, I hope whatever he’s told you is good. I got a reputation to keep,” you joke winking at James when he finally makes eye contact.

He feels his cheeks go red and tries to hide behind the hair framing his face.

Sam laughs. “Only the best things about you. Especially, about these tiny desserts.”

It gave you butterflies to think he may actually like you the way you like him since he had told his friends about you. Ever since that first cold morning he walked into your little shop, you were strangely drawn to him. Yes, he was extremely handsome and attractive, but there was something in his eyes. Something that made you want to get to know him.

Your conversations were short with him, and he sometimes seemed to be battling internally. Then, you found out he was the Winter Soldier and understood a little better what you had seen in his eyes. He was longing for peace of mind. A peace he knew he didn’t deserve, and yet he still yearned for it. You knew you wanted to show him he deserved to be happy. You were just too chicken to ask him out so you could.

James looked up at you. “Can I a coffee, doll? Oh, and whatever this idiot wants.”

You felt your chest swell at the pet name. Maybe, he really did like you. “Sure thing. What will you be having, Sam?”

“A latte and any one of those fine desserts you have there,” Sam said pointing to the display of sweets.

“You fellas have a seat. I’ll be right over with your order,” you said to them and sauntered away. You missed James’s lingering look before Sam dragged him to a table.

“Dude, she’s beautiful,” Sam whispered looking over to you, making sure you didn’t hear.

“I know,” James said a smile tugging at his lips.

“So, when are you gonna ask her out?” Sam asked.

James looked down at the table. How could someone as sweet and kind and beautiful as you want to go out with a broken man like him?

“Hey, Frostbite, listen to me. If you don’t ask her out, I will,” Sam said with a shit eating grin. He loved ticking James off.

“They will never find your body,” James growled in a low voice.

“So, stop wasting time. A gal like that is hard to find. Besides, she likes you, too.” Sam was amused by the confused face looking back at him.

“What? What makes you say that?” James asked with genuine intrigue.

“It’s the way she looks at you. And, that wink she gave you.” Sam waggled his eyebrows.

James shook his head. Come to think of it. You did look at him with a certain spark in your eyes.

“Here you go, guys,” you said coming over to the table with a tray. You placed the coffee and latte down in front of them before placing a plate with 6 different cakes and pastries on it between them. “Here we have red velvet cake with cream cheese filling and frosting, german chocolate cake, lavender lemon cake, caramel apple cream puffs, almond danish, and vanilla bean puffs. Enjoy!”

Sam’s eye grew wide looking at the treats. “Thank you, Y/N!”

“You are very welcome. Let me know if you need anything else.” You gave James a shy smile before hurry back behind the counter. One he did not fail to notice.

Maybe, she does like me… He looked at Sam who was too busy trying to figure out which treat he wanted to try out first. James quickly took the red velvet cake when he noticed Sam stared at it longer than the rest.

“Hey! I wanted that one,” Sam groaned.

“I know,” James said and took a bite. He made an obscene sound and rolled his eyes into the back of his head. “It’s so good,” he mocked.

“You’re a real asshole, Bucky.” Sam hastily grabbed the lavender lemon cake and shoved it in his mouth. He, too, made an obscene sound as he chewed.

“Are you 2 ok?” you asked from behind the counter.

They both looked at you embarrassed at how they were behaving. James looked down and apologized for both of them. You just laughed at them and went into the kitchen.

James looked at Sam and kicked him under the table. “You idiot!” he hissed.

“You started it,” Sam scoffed.

“I don’t know why I came here with you,” James said grabbing the german chocolate cake.

“It was either I came with you, or I stalked you here,” Sam said simply.

James shook his head. He just wanted some quiet time at his favorite coffee shop with the girl he was smitten with. Now, he just made an ass of himself in front of her because of birdbrain.

When they were done fighting over who got to have what treat, Sam got up and walked over the counter. James watched him suspiciously.

“Hey, I’m really sorry again for that unflattering display earlier,” he said sheepishly.

You chuckled. “Oh, don’t worry about it. Hell, I'm flattered that something I made could make people of your caliber make noises like that.” Both Sam and James were puzzled by that.

“Our caliber?” James had gotten up and was now standing next to Sam.

“Avengers.” You were amused at the look on their faces. “Come on, now. Give a girl a little credit. You think I didn’t know I’ve been serving coffee to Sergent Barnes for months. Especially, after strolling in here with the Falcon.”

James and Sam looked at each other and then back to you. Your eyes were sparkling and you had a mischievous smirk. James did not think you knew who he was. How could you still be so sweet after finding out?

“So, you know about my past?” James asked in a small voice, eyes searching your face while he waited for an answer.

You looked him in the eyes and when you spoke it was firm but not unkind. “Yes, I know about what you were forced to do.” You sighed. “James, your past is just that. Your past. We all have one. Some are worse than others, but what matters is that you don’t live in it. You push forward and learn to become better in your present so you have a brighter future. That’s called living.”

He was struck by your words and all he could do was stare at you, mouth slightly open. Even Sam seemed to be at a loss for words. When you gave him that bright smile he cherished, James’s faced softened.

“Y/N, would you like to grab dinner tonight?” he asked with new found courage.

Your smile grew wider, and your eyes crinkled. “I thought you’d never ask, James.”

He looked relieved and almost like some burden lifted from his shoulders. “Bucky. You can call me Bucky.”

#writing #writer #creativewriting #creative #fanfiction #soleizcreations #ao3 fanfic #trying #bucky x reader #avengers #fun #bucky barnes #cafe #sweets #sam wilson #falcon #winter solider x reader

[ask-50-nifty-states]

What’s the 13 original’s response to “eyyyyy wanna mate?”

Delaware: Would immediately go on a useless rant on how he can't 'mate' if a human were to ask him this. "We might look the same, but we're simply two different entities and I feel like we shouldn't mix considering what happens when a nation stays with a human for too long. I'm not saying you're not good enough; you're amazing and should go for someone in your league... And species. *continues to go one for almost an hour*"

Pennsylvania: She would tell the person that they just met and also state that she wants to live her life a virgin until she meets 'the one'. "We can still be friends you know. Even if you made things extremely awkward."

New Jersey: Will absolutely turn the person down immediately and just glare at them. "You really have the audacity to tell me this and think I'll say 'yeah sure'? Well you got another thing coming punk!"

Georgia: She would give the person a look before shaking her head softly. She'll give a light rejection to the person's offer. "You seem like a sweet fellow and all, but I believe this isn't what you say to folk when you've just met em."

Connecticut: Immediately taken off guard.  A million questions go through his head. Are they serious? This has to be a prank? We just met??? What should I say? "Pfft. I know this is a prank of some sorts. Who put you up to this? *laughs*"

Massachusetts: There are two outcomes; his cat will attack you or he'll just walk away and pretend the encounter never existed. "Is this what the new generation has come to?"

Maryland: His face will go from pure shock to a 'are you serious' look. He will just give the person a simple no and wish a good day to them. "The answer is no. *sighs* Not trying to be rude, but this was uncalled for and I'd advise you not to say this to strangers or there'll be some consequences."

South Carolina: Will laugh it off and ask them if they're serious. She might even try to throw them off and fluster the heck out of them. "Do you really want to spend your quality time with little ol me? I'm surely flattered~"

New Hampshire: Confused as heck. Poor boy will be silent for a few before giving out his answer, telling them he's not interested. "Listen, I don't want to hurt your feelings but things take time and you seem to be rushing things. Sorry, but I don't feel anything towards you. So sorry."

Virginia: Oh boy. Better be ready for a mom like rant from this woman. She'll scold the person on manners and how indecent they were and what they said. She would advise them not to do this again and make them apologize. "You must watch your words young man/lady because people aren't objects and have feelings. Relationships take time and you must be patient. I am not at all interested in your offer and I expect an apology for your behavior and words. Please and thank you hun."

New York: This man. It'll either go one of the two ways; he will go off and tease the person  and laugh afterwards, apologizing after or if he's tired he'll tell them to buzz off. "Well well~ Not even a date first? You surely are rather impatient love~" or "Listen bud, I've got a lot of work on my hands and I have no time for your nonsense. So, either you get out of my sight or I'll have to call security/the cops."

North Carolina: Pretty chill with her answer and wouldn't overreact. She straight up gives her answer which is that she's not interested. "*chuckles* No. This seems so rushed. You seem like a nice fella and you sure gave me a laugh. How bout we go get some sweet tea?"

Rhode Island: A look of disgust and yelling is what the person will get. This man will cuss them out for their words and will walk away in frustration. "What the f**k no! I will not- absolutely not do anything with you! You have no decency or shame!? Ugh! Is this how young folk these days are like!? Two words: F**k off!"

#aph states #aph delaware #aph pennsylvania #aph new jersey #aph georgia #aph connecticut #aph massachusetts #aph maryland #aph south carolina #aph new hampshire #aph virginia #aph new york #aph north carolina #aph rhode island #ask #scenario #aph original 13