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milquetoast27 · 6 months

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The Secret of Sherlock Holmes

GRANADA FANS. If you have not heard of this play, NOW IS THE TIME TO HEAR ABOUT IT. I'd been saving it for a rainy night and it was SOO good 😭😭Please allow me to elaborate.

[heads-up, there are no video recordings of it. I listened to the audio and followed along with the script. Not ideal, but still gave me a vivid image of what was happening on-stage.]

The nuance between screen and stage allows the actors to achieve different effects that are not possible with an on-screen adaptation. Characters do not turn to the camera and just tell you their innermost thoughts, but they can in a stageplay- and it's here that we really get to hear Brett and Hardwicke's ideas about Holmes and Watson- not much of it was unfamiliar as I'd read most of Brett's views in interviews, but it was really cool to get that confirmed in an official production that he worked on. Honestly, Brett had that feeling of "I can fix him" that I think exists in all of us Holmes fans, and totally went for it. The canon (and the Granada series) is rife with subtleties and 'show, don't tell', but it is honestly refreshing for once, to have such powerful emotion depicted dramatically and audaciously on a stage. It is all too often throughout the stories that Holmes and Watson are awfully reticent about their feelings. This play is an explosion of their private thoughts that leads to finally, thankfully, a wonderful reconciliation. I love it so much as it clearly advocates for open communication being a vital factor for a good friendship. There's a good reason for why that never happened in the canon; I think it has a lot to do with the shyness and reticence of the English, and I would not be surprised most particularly with Victorian men. But Holmes and Watson do still have their moments in the canon (e.g. 3GAR & FINA), and it's what makes them stand out so shockingly much in their time.

I appreciate that this play gives us viginettes of Holmes and Watson's life together all the way up to The Final Problem. It not only sets us up for the climax later, but also shows us specifically Brett's Holmes and Hardwicke's Watson. There were changes made from the original stories, and yet felt so wonderfully in-character and flowed really well through the actors. The play exclusively stars Brett and Hardwicke, and the purpose of redoing scenes from the canon, such as STUD, NAVA, or CHAS was to highlight the status in their relationship, for example Holmes's displeasure at Watson's marriage and subsequent loneliness- important scenes that communicate Holmes's dependence on Watson. These small glimpses also give us the much-needed humour for any balanced Holmes production! It not only communicates the warm and light moments that they shared, but also helps us get more invested in this particular pair on the stage, which is still vital, even if we're already attached to the characters.

The implications that arise from Brett's portrayal of Holmes is fascinating. He admits that he'd have been dead within two years without Watson, without the indispensible role he played in controlling his addiction and mental state. He admits of the lonely and awful childhood he shared with his brother. The fact that Holmes comes forward and tells us this himself suggests he is very psychologically aware of himself and how his mind works. He understands why he has addictions, the reasons for his barriers and difficulty with emotional vulnerability. Assuming Holmes is very interested in the criminal psyche, but also his own due to his eccentricities, it makes so much sense that he would psychoanalyse himself to this degree, but also be frustrated with how little he is able to move from his rigid mindset. This interpretation works so wonderfully for Brett's Holmes, and I am so glad for this portrayal he has given us. When it comes to canon Holmes, however, I feel that this is more likely to be unconscious. I can never shake how much of Brett is actually within his Holmes. While his comes close to the original, I still see them as separate people. Granada's adaptation tends to play up Holmes's melancholy/depression a little too far for me, like a far-away, mythical creature that can never be understood, because we never get much of an opportunity to see what he really feels (perhaps Eligible Bachelor or Master Blackmailer might come close). But I feel that almost defeats the character. To me, Holmes is flawed and troubled, but he is simply human. The Secret of Sherlock Holmes portrays this fact wonderfully, because all of those feelings are rising to the surface.

We move further into speculation, but I think Brett's Holmes has also a fairly healthy understanding of the difference between social constructs and necessities, which take more importance in a queer/neurodivergent reading of him. He understands that his upbringing was due to an "accepted convention", and we see time and again how Holmes disregards social conventions or constructs and does his own thing. It's why he gets frustrated at others for not understanding him, but also accepts that it will never come easily to people. That's why he's very lucky for Watson (and Mrs. Hudson and Lestrade!) :)

Holmes's darker emotions, and Watson's fierce devotion are displayed most prominently throughout. When Watson comments on Holmes's childhood, Holmes lies about it, woeing internally over how much he conceals, to even someone as close to him as Watson. He privately shares his desire to be "found out", because sharing his feelings to Watson is too difficult. His friend takes his word for it, appreciative of the times Holmes is able to speak frankly about himself. Holmes wants to be open, and Watson wants to listen, but it's Holmes's barriers preventing it. This feeling and experience is so raw and human, and something I would imagine would resonate with many people.

The latter half of the play focuses primarily on Holmes's cocaine addiction. Pastiche writers really like that sore spot, huh. Watson's perceptiveness and powers of observation are on full force in this play. Watson can tell when Holmes is high (as a medical man, most likely), and even deduced that Holmes may still be living by Mycroft's body language. But when it came to Holmes's return from the Great Hiatus...

Something that canon Watson seems to completely forget is his anger towards Holmes. In the story, he is so star-struck and relieved that he barely considers any other feeling. Hardwicke does briefly touch on this in the Granada episode with "I thought I would be as trustworthy as your brother," but it really doesn't go further than that. In The Secret of Sherlock Holmes, Hardwicke goes FULL FORCE. This is what we needed!!! It was a powerful, hair-raising performance. When Holmes has clearly not understood the harm he has done, Watson leaves. Actually slams the door. And when he returns, he makes it very clear to Holmes why he is hurt. And yet, his devotion remains, for when Holmes starts explaining his creation of Moriarty, it takes a while before Watson is fully convinced. Watson is extremely compassionate and empathetic, yes, but he's also very grounded and level-headed, and he must draw the line somewhere. It doesn't take him long to forgive Holmes, but he knows his anger has a place in that room, and allows it to be. I appreciate that it's taken just as seriously as Holmes's troubles.

The only reason either Holmes or Watson are able to communicate so finely with each other- even through shouting and crying- is because of their emotional awareness. It's what makes their relationship work, because they are both aware of how much they mean to each other. When they move past the difficulty of sharing such feelings, their bond grows stronger.

#granada holmes #acd holmes #sherlock holmes #jeremy brett #edward hardwicke #victorian husbands

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catherinnn · 1 year

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Jealousy and fears

THIS FIC CONTAINS SPOILERS OF SEASON 3

JJ Maybank x fem!reader

summary: this is the scene where Sarah has to flirt with Topper to get him to help them get the cross, but instead of Sarah, reader is Topper's ex and JJ is her actual boyfriend and he has to control his jealousy. Plus, reader has to control her fear of losing JJ when the plan goes wrong.

words: 2.3k

“Honestly, the hardest part is gonna be security, all right? So most of the guys are gonna be at the rail yard” JJ states.

“Alright so, we'll need to find some place and guard it, maybe a little further down the line, like a whistle-stop” Pope responds.

“Yeah” Kiara agrees with the pair.

“You guys are getting ahead of yourselves, per usual. We don't have a way to transport the cross. What you think? On JJ's motorcycle?” Cleo says sarcastically.

“That's not my fault. Alright, all me” JJ responds to her.

“Okay, so other options…” Pope starts before Sarah interrupts him.

“Oh my god”

“Oh my god what?” Cleo asks.

“What” I ask and she points towards some behind me, on the top floor of the bar we’re in. We all turn around to the direction she’s pointing at and we see Topper talking with one of his friends.

“Oh god” I cringe and I lower a little on the chair I’m sited on, trying to avoid him seeing me. Topper was my ex-boyfriend before I left him for JJ. To this day he keeps texting me every day and calling every now and then, he truly didn’t know how to take a hint.

“Is that topper?” Pope asks and JJ rolls his eyes.

“Yup” Sarah answers.

“Why is he like, everywhere?” JJ says.

“Maybe he’s following you” Kiara tells me joking.

“Perfect. Hey, Sarah.” Pope starts.

“What?”

“I bet you topper has a way of transport the cross” he suggests.

“Actually pope's right. He does have a rig” she confirms.

“No” I say already knowing where they’re going with this.

“Yes”

“No, absolutely not”

“Yes, come on, you already got him whipped anyway so why don't you just take one for the team?” Sarah suggests.

“Wait, tell me you’re not suggesting what I think you are” JJ speaks.

“She could flirt with Topper a bit so he would give us his truck to transport the cross” Sarah confirms and he clenches his jaw in frustration.

“Come on JJ, you know it would work” Kiara tell him.

“Why does she have to be the one doing it?” he complains.

“He’s not gonna agree if we ask him, but if she does...”

“Sarah said it, she’s got him whipped, not us” Kiara explains.

“What do you say?” you ask him.

“I’m not really excited about the idea of my girlfriend flirting with another guy who’s literally in love with her” he jumps.

“I thought you would understand. Think about the circumstances, it’s about the treasure” Pope tells him.

“We can handle JJ, just go talk to him” Kiara says to you.

And as you go up the stairs and greet Topper, they all stay at the bottom of the stairs, close enough to watch but not so close that Topper would see them.

“I can’t watch this” JJ starts, “Actually I have to watch so I can go break his nose if he oversteps”

“Shut up and pay attention” Kiara demands.

“I just can't believe you're here, I texted and called. How are you? You okay?” Topper says.

“You know, Top, things are a little tough right now” you answer.

“Yeah, tough how?” he asks. You look over his shoulder to see your friends watching expectantly the scene. JJ has a straight face, clearly not enjoying this, you weren’t either.

“We’ve been after this… family heirloom of Pope’s which is why we were gone and we ended up losing it, and unbelievably there might be a chance that we could get it back tonight, in Wilmington” you start explaining and he looks at you with all of his attention nodding at every word you say.

“Okay, how can I help?”

“No, I can’t ask you to do that” you play dumb a little so it wouldn’t be too obvious why you were here.

“No, seriously”

“Topper, I feel like if I ask you I'd be- I don’t know, it’s just- you're such a giver, Topper, you're such a helper”

“That's just how I am, that's just the way I was raised. And either way, remember when I said I would do literally anything for you? Remember that?” he says.

“Yeah”

“I meant it” he says confidently and you start to feel bad about taking advantage of him. You look over his shoulder again at the group where you see JJ signalling you to hurry up. “When I say something I mean it”

“We could… really use your truck” you finally ask.

“My dad's truck? Oh my god, he would literally kill me, he’s like super careful with it"

“So are we, we're super careful”

JJ grimaces in annoyance at her.

“We’ll take such good care of it”

“You put me in a tough spot, I- I know I said I would do anything but…” he hesitates so I move closer to him, start caressing his shoulder softly and we share an intense look where I try to hide my fear of him trying to kiss me, or JJ having enough of this and punching him for getting too close. Or both, really.

“I'm so sorry about everything. I totally understand, you have no reason to help us” I play dumb again.

“Why do I feel like I'll regret this?” he says with a smile. I give him a big smile and hug him excitedly. I can see the guys celebrating quietly and JJ rolls his eyes and shakes his head trying (and failing) to hide his smile.

After arranging the plan right we all go to our places. I go with Topper and Sarah on the truck, JJ and Kie go on his motorcycle and Pope with Cleo go on the train.

Before getting in the car, JJ, Sarah, Kie and I wait for Pope to give us the signal that he is on the train.

“What’s taking him so long?” Sarah complains. We can see Topper pacing around the truck nervously, JJ gives me a look making fun of him and we both laugh. A few minutes later we see Pope up on the train and giving us the signal to move to the next part of the plan. JJ gives him a thumbs up.

“That’s it, we’re green” Kie confirms and then suddenly we hear the train horn blaring.

“What's happening” I ask confused.

“You hear that?” JJ asks too and we can hear brakes hissing and metal clanks

"Train's moving, train's moving" JJ confirms now.

“Shit, shit”

“Hurry up”

I run to the truck. “Hey” Topper says nervously.

“Do you have jumper cables in there?” I ask him.

“Do you have an idea that I am here involved in illegal activities?”

“I'm not even close to being okay with this”

"It’s not that illegal"

"Okay"

“Jumper cables? What are we- what we doing with these?”

"Topper, if you don't wanna go, its fine. We’ll take the truck"

The rest of the guys show up behind us.

“Hey, I just wanna make sure everyone here is okay ending up in federal prison” Topper says.

“If it gets to that, yeah, I'll do it for pope” JJ responds and I laugh with him. I get the cables from the truck and give them to JJ, he looks at me as if he’s asking me if I’m ready, and I nod at him.

After JJ and Kie get the traffic-lights to go red, the train is stopping. That’s our signal to drive to the train.

"What the hell are we doing right now, this is ridiculous" Topper complains. And then we get next to the door where pope was signalling us to park next to.

"Right here" Sarah and I go out of the car and up the train to help. "How’s it looking?"

“Still searching” Cleo tells us.

“You see it?” Pope asks her.

“Hey, this one says Cameron” she answers.

“This is it, this is the cross, this is it!” he jumps exited.

“Hey, hey, what are we doing here?” Topper shows up and asks us.

“We'll put this in your truck bed”

“That's gonna scratch the paint!”

“No, no, it's fine” I say even though I have no idea.

“You’ll be able to get a thousand paint jobs after we do this” Pope tells him.

“This thing right here?” he asks.

“Just help us spot it”

We start moving the heavy box with the cross in it towards the car.

“Topper help me!” I shout.

“Just push it this way, my dad's gonna kill me” he complains.

“Guide it, hurry up, let's go”

“Don't mess up the cross” Pope warns.

“Don't mess up the truck” Topper warns too.

“Stop! Hey, stop!” we hear an officer shout at us.

“Shit, we gotta go”

“Hold it right there!” He shouts again.

“Cops! Come on”

“The cops are coming, let's go!” We get the box on the truck and we get in the car.

“Push it, Chewie!” Pope yells from the back.

“Go!” Sarah tells him. He starts driving.

“How the hell can you live like this? You come from a good family” Topper tells me.

“Just drive!” I respond. He drives and passes the train.

“We got somebody on us” Topper warns.

“That’s JJ and Kie” Sarah confirms. JJ moves the motorcycle right next to the car.

“JJ! What is he doing?!” he asks me.

“I don't know” I say.

“Topper, keep going straight!” JJ shouts.

“Y'all be careful. Alright?”

“Topper hold it steady” I say.

“I'm trying!”

We see Kiara getting up on the bike and Pope trying to grab her.

"Kie! What are you doing?!" She jumps into the truck and Pope grabs her.

“Oh shit”

“Oh my god”

“Are you good? Did she-did she make it?” Top asks. I nod not being able to get words out from the adrenaline mixed with fear. I see JJ stopping the bike behind us, in front of the police car.

“Okay. Maybe he's just trying to get rid of the cops” Topper comments.

I can't take my eyes off of him, fearing his impulses until he throws a rock at the police car braking the window.

"He did it! They’re chasing him!" Pope shouts.

“Topper stop! Stop the truck” I ask him.

“I'm not stopping the truck”

The guys shout at him to stop the truck.

“We're going to get JJ!”

“Come on man!”

“I'm not going to jail for him, no chance!” He shakes his head.

“Stop the truck, please” I ask him quietly, my voice breaking. He sees the fear on my face and he agrees.

“All right, all right, damn it”

“Turn around”

“I'm not- I'm not going to jail”

“Topper look at me. They’re gonna arrest him, we can't leave him behind”

“Damn him, damn” He turns around and drives.

“Go faster, you need to go faster”

“I'm trying, I'm risking my whole life for this shit”

“It’s gonna be fine”

“Turn left!” Pope directs.

“No! I'm getting out of here” he states.

“Topper!” I take the steering weal off of him and turn it left.

“No way, he's up on the overpass” Sarah says and the next thing we see is the motorcycle falling off of the overpass right in front of us, getting absolutely destroyed. We all gasp we get out of the truck to run and look for him.

“J!” I say panting, “J! Where is he?!”

“Shit!”

“no, no, no, no”

“JJ?!”

I start crying. “Where is he?”

“Maybe he's up on the bridge” pope suggests.

“No, no, no” I start sobbing.

“I wish I could say I did that on purpose,” I hear his voice behind me. I get up and he looks right at me. “But that was the gnarliest power-slide I’ve ever done”

“You're alive!!” Pope shouts and hugs him. “Dude!”

“I know, I'm surprised too”

“Shit that was gnarly” Topper says.

Sarah pushes him and starts hitting him on the chest “Oh Jesus, Oh God” he complains. She hugs him tight. Kie goes after her and warns him that’s she’s going to kill him while she hugs him too.

“This is really nice and all but we should really get out of here” Cleo says.

“Yeah, yeah, let's roll” Topper agrees.

I don’t listen to them, I look at JJ with tears falling from my eyes still, I get closer to him and he looks at me waiting for my reaction.

“Don’t... don't ever do that again” he manage to say. He lowers his head without his eyes off of mine, his hands come to my waist but before he could get any closer we hear a cop shouting down at us.

“Hey, hey you kids don't move”

He grabs me and we start running to the truck.

“Stay right there! I said stay right there!” the officer shouts again. We get on the car quickly and Topper starts driving getting us out of there. Later we realized it was all for fucking nothing because the cross was fake, there wasn't any cross on the box.

After reassuring Pope that we will find the real one and thanking Topper, JJ and I go to my house where I sit on my bed grabbing my head trying to process everything that just happened.

JJ moves around my bedroom doing the same. “You realize it was all for fucking nothing, you- you had to flirt- I had to watch you flirt with that idiot for fucking nothing” he complains. I look at him as if he’s crazy.

“You do realize I thought you fucking died for a minute there, and all of that was for nothing too. I don’t fucking care about Topper! I thought I lost you, JJ!”

“Okay, okay. I’m sorry baby, I got down there as fast as I could and then everybody started hugging me and I just wanted to get to you, and then that fucking cop came. I’m sorry, I’m sorry it all happened that way” he hold me tight. “I love you, I’m sorry”

“I love you, I don’t know what I would have done without you” you try not to cry all over again.

“I’m fine, okay?” he asks and I nod, he kisses me and the rest of our night goes on holding each other tight as if it was the last time. Luckily, it wasn’t.

#jj maybank x fem!reader #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank fluff #jj maybank angst #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank imagine #jj maybank #jj outer banks #outer banks fanfiction

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wistfulcynic · 6 months

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a non-izzy-centric reading of the events of season two

i didn't really want to get into this because it's so, so tiresome and i'd rather talk about the things i loved about this season. Poison, positivity, etc. But.

reading this post about people doubting their own judgement due to the overwhelming noise from Izzy stans along with a rewatch of season two from start to finish made me realise that i too had been influenced by a year and a half of being intensely frustrated by people insisting so loudly that OFMD was in fact the Izzy Hands Show. My initial issues with S2 mostly stemmed from overcompensating for that by resenting any development of Izzy on the screen because i did not want it to feed those people. Which meant that i also was centring Izzy in a way that he should not be centred! i was letting their noise lead me to read him as far more important than he actually is.

So i looked back at several points from the season that had me feeling uncomfortable and which, from a cursory browse through the Izzy tag i've concluded his stans see as a contradiction or a betrayal or something and re-evaluated them from the perspective of Izzy not being a main fucking character.

point one: "He's our dick."

When Archie (a newcomer and therefore a fairly effective audience stand-in for anyone not balls deep in fandom bullshit) asks Jim why they're going to so much trouble for Izzy, who she has immediately clocked as "kind of a dick", Jim gives this response. Which, if you think Izzy is important, may read as an expression of reluctant fondness. But then, Jim continues: "There was a time when life meant something on this ship. When we lived for each other, not just to survive." These lines are punctuated by a flashback to the famous Revenge crew found-family Renaissance-painting moment. Jim is nostalgic for the "good old days" of the Revenge under Stede's people-positive management style. It is out of respect for that (seemingly) lost way of life that they take the trouble for Izzy, not for Izzy himself. They'd have done the same for anyone, because they desperately want life to matter again. Izzy, as the person whose gamy leg is a direct result of his threatening Ed and bringing the kraken era down on all of them, is simply the one whose life happens to be on the line.

(honestly, i love this from Jim, who was one of Stede's boldest detractors in season one and still the crew member most likely to call him out on his bullshit. That's your "reluctant fondness" moment right there.)

point two: the new unicorn

apparently Izzy stans see the gift of the unicorn leg prosthetic as a symbol of deep love and respect from the crew to Izzy. Which is an absolutely wild reading when you look at what led up to it.

There's tension on the ship. Divisions. Lucius is chain-smoking and jump-scared by his own shadow. Jim, Archie, Frenchie, and Fang are overcome by guilt over their mutiny and frantically scrubbing nonexistent blood from the deck in what is a fantastically darkly funny Lady Macbeth moment for them. Izzy is sloppy drunk and yelling nonsensical abuse at the unicorn masthead. Roach, Pete, Oluwande, and Wee John make a well-intentioned but ill-conceived attempt to bring everyone back together (i say "everyone" but Izzy, significantly, is not included) which leads to them all being at each other's throats in the sort of mutually-assured-destruction configuration that starts world wars. It's a great scene. Izzy is not a part of it.

until he interrupts them, throws the unicorn legs at them and in his drunken clumsiness breaks his prosthetic. He then pointedly refuses their offers of assistance and drags himself away along the floor by his arms.

my friends. This is peak pathos. The crew do not respect Izzy in this moment, they feel sorry for him. They realise that he's worse off than any of the rest of them and that knowledge brings them back together. Making the unicorn prosthetic is barely about Izzy at all. It's about the crew coming together, repairing the rifts in their found family and as a bonus helping out their grumpy second cousin who doesn't really want to be there but has nowhere else to go. It's also a very generous offer of a new place on the ship--as the new unicorn--and a fresh start. Because that's what life on the Revenge is. For everyone.

point three: la vie en rose

much has been made of Izzy putting on drag makeup and singing at the Calypso birthday party, and fair enough. That's a big character development point for him. i don't hate it, though i wish there'd been more build-up to it, a longer conversation between Izzy and Wee John at least (insert obligatory "fuck Max" here) but regardless, if we accept Izzy's amputated leg as cutting off his old self and replacing it with the unicorn then we can arrive at a place where he's able to participate in a drag performance without too much cognitive gymnastics.

i've written before about the curious choice to have Izzy sing La Vie En Rose in French (after he initially sang it in English) at the very moment when Ed and Stede are having sex for the first time. On first watch i felt viscerally troubled by it, it felt like a validation of the obsessive psychosexual reading of Izzy's feelings for Ed. Looking at the season as a whole, it feels more like a (cringy, creepy, waaaay over the line) attempt on his part to signal approval for Ed and Stede's relationship. Especially when taken in conjunction with his (super creepy, like wtf who greenlit this) interruption of their breakfast in bed the next morning to make a ham-fisted innuendo. Weird but okay i guess, it's not like Izzy and social niceties have ever gone hand in hand.

many people point to the drag scene as the crew embracing Izzy and welcoming him as one of them. Again, i don't disagree. But, also again, this is not specific to Izzy. This is just what they do. They also embraced Archie with her snake-cult stories, they re-embraced Ed (who yes, they do love, refutations of arguments that they don't love Ed are a whole other essay though) and later they embrace Zheng and Auntie and also Jackie who once stole their savings jar and threatened to cut off their noses. That's what they do! They embrace people! That's what the show is about!

point four: the death scene

i have to be honest, i still hate this. i don't hate that Izzy died, i hate that he died in Ed's arms with Ed calling him his only family. That still feels unearned to me, and alas was probably another victim of the shortened season. But even with this extremely kind and forgiving death scene, the stans are not satisfied! They feel that the entire crew should have been gathered round, assuring Izzy of their profound love for him. There should have been weeping at the funeral, wailing and gnashing of teeth, rending of garments etc. It's what he deserves as such a beloved member of the crew!

except he wasn't beloved. He was accepted, yes. Welcomed, even. But acceptance is a far cry from love. Cheering as someone sings a song at a party does not mean you feel ready to weep at their deathbed or proclaim your undying affection for them.

yet even so, the crew are visibly distraught at his death scene. There are tears in many eyes! But effusive declarations of feeling from any one of them other than Ed would have felt (to anyone not convinced Izzy is the main character) completely wrong and very weird. You can headcanon what you like to fill the gaps in canon but on screen we have seen very few meaningful interactions between Izzy and any of the existing crew aside from Fang and Lucius and to a lesser extent Wee John. Izzy's primary relationship with another character is with Ed and so, as much as i still don't like it, Ed is the only one who has any real reason to be at Izzy's side as he dies.

as for the brevity of the funeral and the fact that they went straight from it to Pete and Lucius's wedding instead of having, idk, a prolonged wake at which everyone speaks at length about how important Izzy was to them, i mean. Obviously that wasn't going to happen. More than enough screen time had already been given to a side character who spent most of it either being miserable himself or making others so. It was time for the rest of them to find some moments of joy. As Izzy himself said, not moving on is worse.

in conclusion, i'd like to address the people saying that Izzy should have lived so he could continue his arc of self-discovery and sure, that would have been great--on the Izzy Hands Show. But OFMD is about Ed and Stede and Izzy had served his purpose in their story. i feel certain there will be copious fanfics to soothe anyone who feels Izzy was shortchanged.

on the show, though, he was treated in a very logical and foreseeable way as the antagonist who was able to see the light at the end but not necessarily to thrive in such a well-lit environment. Literature (by which i mean also films and tv) abounds with examples of this sort of character. They see the error of their ways but they are too stuck in them, shaped by them, to exist comfortably in any other way. They help bring about change to benefit others and not for themselves, that is the bittersweet beauty of their endings.

Izzy let Ed go. He embraced the softer parts of himself. He died surrounded by people who may not have loved him but at least accepted him as one of their own and felt genuine sorrow about his passing. That is a satisfying narrative end for a reformed antagonist! If you truly feel that he was shortchanged by it then you have forgotten what show you're watching and what sort of character he was.

Izzy Hands: not the main character, still an interesting one, absolute nightmare, what a guy.

#our flag means death #ofmd meta #ofmd season two #izzy critical #the izcourse #izzy hands meta #sorry not sorry to people who are going to hate this post but writing it has been therapeutic for me #i'm tired of hating a character on a show i love so much so i shall go back to thinking of him as the nasty rat man and focusing on faves #saira has Thoughts

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thechaoticdruid · 4 months

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The Bite Scene

Pairing: Named F!Tav x Astarion

Notes: Felt bad about not posting a fic in a while and had this old draft lying around so I thought I'd share it with everyone. Before actually posting anything on Tumblr I was working on a long fic about my Tav, Winnie but eventually I ended up abandoning it because I got frustrated feeling like I was rewriting most of the in game dialogue and also ended up getting focused on The Spawn Vs The Ascendant. So basically this is a rewrite of the bite scene with Winnie!

C/w: Blood, blood drinking, suggestive content

That night Winnie tossed and turned on her bedroll, sweat beads dripping down her forehead as her mind raced with memories of horror and death. Terrified faces of people she once knew were etched into the back of her head. Then suddenly she awoke in a pant, barely having enough time to compose herself before a new threat made itself known. A figure stood over her, red eyes glowing in the dark.

“Astarion?” A look of shock spread across her face as she glanced up to see her rogue companion, his mouth wide open and a pair of long pointed fangs were clear as day. It all made sense now. Astarion was a vampire!

“Shit……” Astarion backed up as he noticed Winnie was now wide awake. “It’s not what it looks like I swear! I wasn't going to hurt you! I just needed….Well blood….”

“Well that explains why you murdered the hunter.” Winnie narrowed her eyes at him slightly, “I can't believe I didn't realize it sooner, gods I feel so stupid.” The red eyes, the pale skin, all the hungry stares, it all made sense. Hells they had even found a dead boar a day earlier with holes in its neck! Winnie honestly felt like a fool for not noticing those teeth on day one!

“It's not what you think! I'm not some monster. I feed on animals, boars, deer, kobolds, whatever I can get, but it's not enough. Not if I have to fight. I feel so weak. If I just had a little blood I could think clearer. Fight better. Please.” Astarion looked into Winnie’s eyes with such a sad, pitiful look.

Is….a vampire literally giving me puppy dog eyes as he asks to drink my blood?

“You could have told me about this.” Winnie frowned. Despite everything the druid still wanted to trust her companion. She had grown fond of him even if he was an asshole. He was clever and witty and gods damn it was so hard to find someone who appreciated her dark sense of humor instead of just backing away slowly.

“Honestly I didn't think you'd take it too well. At worst I was expecting you'd ram a stake through my ribs.”

“Oh no I would never do that. I'd decapitate you. I'm nothing if not accommodating.” The human female gave a playful smirk.

“Ah….How thoughtful of you…” Astarion said with a nervous laugh.

“Luckily I trust you but I wish you'd trust me as well. We do need each other after all.” Winnie stood up, crossing her arms. The vampire blinked in confusion. The druid's response was pleasantly unexpected. A small smile spread across her silver haired companion’s face.

“I do trust you. And you're right we need each other. I need you alive and you need me strong. And there is no better way to keep me strong than to make sure I'm well fed.”

“My blood isn't something I can just give away carelessly. I kinda need it, you know…” Winnie looked off to the side, a little unsure. Accepting that your companion is actually an undead creature of the night is one thing, but letting him drink your blood was a big risk. Winnie trusted him not to harm her on purpose but she knew well enough vampires couldn’t always control their hunger and a starving vampire would surely prove even more unpredictable.

“I'll only need a taste. I swear.” The tone of his voice sounded soft, almost sweet as he looked at her with round pleading eyes. Winnie bit her lip and her heart sank a little. Gods damn him and his stupid pretty face.

“Fine, but don't go too far.” Winnie said.

“Of course, I shall only take as much as I need.” Astarion grinned, red eyes trailing over Winnie’s neck. “Let's make ourselves comfortable shall we?” Winnie before laying back down on her bedroll. A shiver went down her spine as he slowly knelt over her, eyes filled with hunger.

A cool palm cupped the druid's cheek, tilting her head up and exposing her neck. Astarion's mouth watered at the sight, his tongue flicking over his fangs as he leaned in closer.

Winnie closed her eyes and braced herself, her body shaking with a mix of fear and excitement.

She waited anxious for what felt like hours before finally a sharp icy pain pierced through her neck.

“A-Ah…” A soft cry of pain left her lips as his fangs sunk into her flesh. Winnie’s left hand gripped onto his shoulder, her teeth gritting until eventually the initial pain subsided, replaced by numbness. The druid's heart was racing and the only thing she was able to process was the sound of sucking. She felt very conflicted, despite the pain she'd been enduring she also felt this pleasant feeling. An intimate feeling. Almost as if he was merely kissing her neck instead of feasting on her very life force.

Astarion was swept up in the moment. Her blood was absolutely intoxicating, so sweet and rich. The vampire had never tasted anything like it. It was pure ecstacy. So wonderful. Gods, he never wanted this perfect moment to end.

“S-Stop…..” Winnie spoke up, she was beginning to feel dizzy. Astarion however seemed lost in bliss and continued his onslaught on her neck. “That's enough!” She said sternly, mustering what strength she had to grab hold of the back of his head and yank hard on his hair.

“Hmm!?” Finally the druid was able to get his attention. He pulled back with a gulp, “oh…o-of course.” Breathy pants left his lips as he savored the taste of her blood. “That…..That was amazing..”He breathed, eyes dazed as he ran a finger over the blood trailing down his chin, collecting some and sucking it eagerly off his digit. “My mind is finally clear. I feel strong…Happy…”He let out a bliss filled sigh.

“Well I'm glad I could help…..Ugh…” Winnie groaned, feeling her head spin. “Hopefully you'll be in a better state to fight soon then?”

“Shouldn't take long now, so many people need killing. Now if you'll excuse me, you're invigorating but I need something a little more filling.” Astarion glanced back at the human with a sly smirk before stepping off to walk off into the dark. “This is a gift you know, I won't forget it.”

The druid could barely sit up as she watched him stalk off into the night seeking his prey. As his form faded from her vision so did everything around her. Darkness taking her in it's sweet embrace.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Note from TheChaoticDruid: I had another part written that takes place just before this. If you'd like to see it posted let me know!

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domoz · 11 months

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Or, alternate funny version to the previous: any combination of Uchiha watching Tobirama fight and discussing their observations (gossiping/oogling shamelessly), after peace exists and they SHOULD technically probably help him, but... Tobirama can clearly handle it, no need to get in his way

I once read that a drabble is 200 words or less. I will never beat those allegations.

The ability to share memories with the sharingan really isn't meant to be used this way, but that's never actually stopped anyone.

"I swear to you," Says Madara with a snicker, "He slapped himself in the face with a water whip. Acted like it never happened, but I saw it."

The scene is a bit more endearing than that, when Madara shows it. Tobirama is sparring with his students and one of them can't quite dodge in time. That jutsu can break skin and cut through muscle if it hits right, but rather than hurt one of his students that badly, Tobirama jerks it back. He breaking the whip's momentum but loses a good portion of control and, indeed, slaps himself in the fact with it. He looks rather akin to a wet cat.

Madara and Izuna both break out into another fit of laughter, but Hikaku just shakes his head fondly.

"I've seen him do that on purpose, actually." He says after the laughter has died down a bit. It's not exactly the same -- the memory he calls up had been recorded on accident. It had been in those early days of peace, when seeing Tobirama move water about had made him call up the sharingan on instinct, back when they'd be so concerned that he'd break peace that he wasn't allowed to go off on missions alone.

I'd been rather rote mission -- dealing with bandits who had thought they could take advanced of the disorganization of a new village. It had had been hot, the summer temperatures soaring high and uncomfortable, and they'd both been sweat soaked and sticky by the end of it.

"Excuse me" Tobirama had said the moment he'd cause sight of a source of water. He'd let himself jump in ankle deep instead of standing on top, raised an arm, and proceeded to dump an honestly excessive amount of water over himself. Of course, his mastery over water let him pull water out of his clothes until he was just the right amount of damp without any effort-- Hikaku had been and still is jealous over it -- and even back then, eyes lingered on where wet clothes stuck to well-defined muscle.

Thankfully no one comments. The sharingan's tendency to show the exactly what was seen means they've all shared unintentionally embarrassing moments. Plus, Hikaku knows he's not the only one who's done that exact thing.

"Oh, sensei will do that for us, if we ask!" Chimes in Kagami, thankfully too young and oblivious to understand why his cousins are giving Hikaku the side eye. He launches into a memory of his team begging and pleading to be allowed to train on the water on another hot day. His sensei had crossed his arms, unimpressed, and said he knew that the lot of them had all mastered water walking already…

…But that if the lot of them managed to prove they could do their D-rank mission without complaining, he would think of a way to cool them all off. In Kagami's young memory, the cool mist Tobirama had raised from the pond of the garden they'd been weeding had been the most refreshing thing he'd ever felt.

"…He's too soft on you." Madara says, without any real heat.

"He's something." Izuna responds dryly. "Sometimes I forget, none of you have ever seen what it's like when he really wants to get something done."

Without warning, Izuna calls up the memory of a fight. No… A spar, but a bloodthirsty one. Probably one of the first ones they'd had since they were allowed to again, after peace was called. A mixture of pent up frustration and the fact that they were no longer supposed to kill each other had both of them showing off -- Izuna was prone to do it, regardless, but this was the first time he'd seen Tobirama opt for techniques that were more flashy than practical. A water dragon with mutliple heads split apart into multiple, chasing Izuna through the trees, each one eating one of the multi-fireballs Izuna hurls out to counter them.

Tobirama did not hesitate, leaping out from the steam and twisting his fingers. The droplets of water in the air shimmered and twisted until everything was an indistinct haze.

Not that it stops a sharingan. But something about the scene -- the way the light hit the mist, haloing Tobirama with a sort of rainbow -- or maybe the way he's smirking -- makes Izuna pause.

Oh, he thinks.

Oh, thinks everyone else.

#oh my god . im not going to tag this with everyone #tobirama senju #and Founder Era Uchihas #I think tobirama probably tried to figure out if he could refract light through water enough to blind people #he can't but he can make things *pretty* doesn't help with the sharingan but hey if hes showing off...#I also have a very vague and cracky idea of… the uchiha sharing memories with each other.#as they increasingly gain more memories of Tobirama Not being their enemy during peace tim #(and being downright kind to them re: Kagami and Hikaku specifically)#they all lowkey start to like and maybe even fall or him a little (since the memories being shared already have that connotation)#and tobirama is just clueless about the change in opinon and why it might be happening #………something something single dad hikaku as well. ive been THINKING about this.#urgh like I need more ideas. ANYWAYS.#I Am Not Immune to Italicized Oh Moments #oops! no writing tag #naruto blog for naruto things #izuna got bodyslammed into the ground immediatly after that memory ends btw. which Did Not help realizationwise

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bamboopanda27 · 3 months

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I might be in the minority here, but I gotta say, it's kind of disappointing to see so many negative reactions towards Silent Hill 2 Remake. I get that Konami doesn't exactly have the best track record with how they've handled the series in recent years. I understand that people have reservations about Bloober Team's involvement and why that is. I know that the original Silent Hill 2 is a very beloved game. And of course, people are entitled to their own opinions.

However, I feel like I see way too much of people just absolutely hating on something online these days, rather than waiting for it to come out and giving it a fair chance. I've lost track of all the times people have completely rallied against a game, show, movie, etc. based off just a few scenes or bits of dialogue. It takes more than that to truly experience and judge media for yourself.

In the case of Silent Hill 2 Remake, I've also already seen numerous rants about things like James having too much expression in certain scenes and being able to block/guard against attacks. I saw that first point floating around online after the teaser trailer released and that was literally the only information to go on. Now, people are complaining about how the combat looks. I feel like people are forgetting or neglecting that Silent Hill has never really had smooth combat. It's always been clunky and awkward to some extent. In my opinion, combat has consistently been the worst part of each Silent Hill game I've played. Story, characters, and atmosphere have been the much stronger parts for me. If anything, it looks like the combat in SH2R will still be an improvement from the original. Just from the brief clips shown in the gameplay trailer, it already appears to be much smoother and more modernized without being too action oriented.

Another thing that bothers me is the trailer even discloses the game is still in development. This isn't a finished product yet, and it's very possible the combat will be more polished once it's done. It could also have been changed quite a bit by then. I think people need to actually wait for the finished game to come out, then experience it for themselves. Like I said before, there's too much of bashing things without ever giving them a fair chance and instead assuming that they'll be terrible, awful, trash, and a myriad of other negative descriptors from the very beginning.

Maybe the game will turn out to be bad and I'll end up feeling disappointed by it. For now though, I'd rather give it the benefit of the doubt and believe it has the potential to be good. I'd rather wait to play the game myself and form my overall opinion on it then.

All this to say I'm frustrated by how quickly and easily people completely dismiss things without giving them a proper chance first. And specifically, it's frustrating to see how much of that type of sentiment has been directed towards Silent Hill 2 Remake, a game that's still in development and doesn't even have a release date yet. At this point, it honestly feels like some people are nitpicking every bit of information or footage that comes out and finding everything "wrong" with it that they possibly can.

#silent hill 2 remake #silent hill 2 #video games #horror #survival horror #remake #sh2 remake #rant #sorry but the online discourse (at least the vast majority of it) around sh2 remake is so annoying

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thedawningofthehour · 6 months

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I just had a morbid thought. But, what if Galois die? Either by an anti-mutant Yokai group, in a kidnapping attempt by the mercenaries or by members of the resistance? How would the characters react?

Well, that would be an incredibly unfulfilling end to the story, for one. And don't get me wrong, character deaths that are by design unsatisfying absolutely have their place, (Finnick's death in Mockingjay comes to mind) but I feel like it would be more frustrating here than make a point.

Honestly, I could see it going either way for Draxum. He could either give up right then and there and die with him, or he could go total Rhaenyra after Luke's death. Total liquidation on his enemies, and no mercy for his allies who object. Once that was over, though, he wouldn't really have any direction and would eventually end up destroying himself. He means it when he says he can't lose Galois. He could handle losing anyone else, everyone else. Even Cass, he'd totally go Angry Murder Dad for her as well, but it wouldn't destroy him like losing Galois would. (it might have been different if he was lying to himself about Cass's origins as well, but he still lies to himself and says she isn't his daughter)

If Cass is still alive and Galois is dead, then the world would end. Instantaneously. She'd explode like the birth of a star.

It would also kill Splinter. Not right away, he'd live long enough to get revenge on Draxum and everyone who contributed to his son's death, but he'd end himself not long after. He wasn't lying when he said he couldn't lose another kid. That also applies to losing the same kid twice. Losing Donnie the first time almost killed him as it was.

(Leo ramble under the cut because I went way off the rails-but fuck it I wrote the end scene of the next chapter in one sitting today I am allowed to go a little insane)

I'm hesitant to go all 'two halves of the same whole, twins can't live without each other' because we literally have proof that Leo can live without Donnie. We don't know how long Donnie's been dead by the point the movie starts-Leo having his bandana wrapped around his sword implies that it wasn't very recent, while Casey's familiarity with Donnie and the fact that his gear is certified GeniusBuilt shows that his death must have happened when Casey was old enough to remember him, or even after Casey started training and Donnie built weapons to suit his fighting style. So Leo's probably been without Donnie for at least a couple of years at that point. And he is still kicking ass and serving cunt, in his very homosexual way-though he does kind of have a whole-ass kid to raise and the resistance to live for, which he doesn't have in doth. And even in the movie, Future Leo throws himself into a Krang incineration beam rather than return to the past with Casey and live without the family he's lost. And there's the whole deal with Leo sacrificing himself so there's no chance whatsoever of living to see his brothers die.

I just don't see Leo being able to move on from something like that. Knowing his brother died pointlessly, maybe even painfully, never remembering who he was. There would be no closure, no point to start moving on. I talked about this with another fic author, the whole thing about fulfilling vs. unfulfilling deaths in media, and I think Future Donnie's death is as good as any to talk about that.

Like, let's talk about Replica's Donnie. He died epicly. In the midst of battle, sacrificing himself to plant a spy probe, and even got in some snappy comments to Prime (and maybe killing him too? I'd have to reread) before ending his own life. From his family's perspective, yes, it felt pointless and awful and they would much rather Donnie back than whatever bullshit he sacrificed himself for. And it's tragic for the audience, but it still feels satisfying. Donnie went out on his own terms, for a cause, in a literal blaze of glory. We see his family mourn, but we also see Leo receive some measure of closure from Omega telling him how proud Donnie always was of him. And crying right after-but as he tells Casey a frame later, he felt just a little better.

Or a more subtle example in Cass's series. Donnie's (temporary) death is none of that. He dies weakened to the point where he can't even stand up on his own, he dies quietly and he dies slowly. It was heartbreaking-like, bitch, I cried, but I don't think a single person would call it unsatisfying. Even with his quiet, demure death, so undeserving of him and his awesomeness, there was still a sense of satisfaction in the fact that he was such a threat that the Krang had to resort to such tactics to kill him. (and that he stuck it to them one final time, outliving their expectations and coming back to fuck them up when they thought they were safe, he had to be dead) And in the end, he's accepted his death, he tied up all his loose ends and feels ready to go. He dies peacefully, spending his final moments feeling his brothers' love for him. His brothers get to hold him and say goodbye. Yes, they're in mourning, but they show hints of healing and moving on-until Mikey finds out that Donnie's spirit isn't with their ancestors. That pulls the wound right back open, and Leo doesn't really seem to move on from there.

Having Donnie die as Galois I think would be a lot like that for Leo. Raph, Mikey, and even April would find ways to move on-after getting their revenge, of course, but they would use Donnie's memory to drive them forward. "Plant this tree because Donnie would have liked that." "Buy only produce from sustainable farming practices for my restaurant because Donnie would have approved." "Get that degree because Donnie would have kicked my ass if I didn't."

I don't think Leo would be able to do that. I think he'd feel very lost, with a lot of rage and sorrow and no real direction for any of it, no drive to find an outlet and get his life back on track. Maybe he wouldn't outright shoot himself, but he'd stop caring about keeping himself alive.

#like i said i wrote a very intense scene in one sitting today #i always go a little nuts when i do that #doth asks #tw suicide #fuck i didn't add a trigger warning for the last ask i mentioned it in did i #i'm sorry i am so bad at tagging shit #a lot of stuff kind of falls under the umbrella of 'if you're reading this fic you already know what you've signed up for'#but i feel like suicide talk deserves an extra warning just in case

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zvtara-was-never-canon · 7 months

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https://youtu.be/MQo2Om2CG-I?si=JQ1fUjTYCCUQ6Hb2 thoughts on this ???

I agree with the general points (duh, it's literally saying "Zutara would have ruined the story if it had happened"), but there are a few things I'd like to give my two cents on:

1 - The "Zutara has chemistry" thing is completely subjective. Some people see it, good for them. I don't. And I don't like that it is always treated as undeniable truth. "They had meaningful moments" and "The writers are not stupid and threw in some bait at the last second because money" do not translate to "These characters have natural, not at all forced romantic chemistry."

2 - The "Avatar Extras" are impossible to take seriously. I don't just mean the Zutara one, I mean nearly every "behind the scenes detail" feels as genuine as J.K. Rowling going on Twitter to share random bullshit she made up and claims was totally part of the original plan to stay relevant. We know the love triangle in the original version of the story was between Aang, Katara and Male!Toph, and that the creators were shocked anyone would ever want Zuko and Katara together. I simply don't believe the "Zutara was totally considered at one point" thing was anything beyond either a prank or Nickelodeon trying to pander.

3 - Yes, a lot of the hate towards Kataang is because Aang is not as "manly" as Zuko, because as I've already said many times, Zutarians might claim to be the "feminist shippers" but they are actually overwhelmingly sexist. However, a lot of it is also stuff like people assuming that enemies to lovers is always inherently better, or that the "bad guy" must ALWAYS be the superior character, or even the childlike mentality of "These people are arguing, therefore they like each other" that pushes people to just not understand that, no, Zutara was never going to be a thing, and that's not bad (I know she kind of addressed it in the end, but I honestly think these points were more responsible for Zutara's unearned praise from the worst corners of the fandom than Aang being a more "delicate" male character)

4 - While I kind of agree that Kataang as a romantic dynamic worked better for the whole theme of Earthly Attachments VS Power/Duty, I do think the purely platonic "But what about my friends?" could have absolutely work too.

5 - A love triangle in ATLA would be worse than average love triangle because *points at Legend of Korra as evidence* Bryke are apparently completely incapable of keeping the actual plot going when there's a love triangle involved. EVERYTHING becomes about the romance, and it just makes every character come accross as deeply unlikeable (seriously, we dodged a major bullet when they decided to cut the whole "Aang and Toph fighting for Katara" deal, my God, imagine the horror!)

6 - I think a lot of the general feeling that Kataang, and other canon ships, "underwhelming" is because ATLA didn't really focus on romance as much as some other shows did. Sure, these plots existed and were important, but let's face it, in plenty of media the romantic plots just take over the whole thing and become the central focus of every action the characters take. This was honestly one of the reasons why the show remained my favorite: the romance has it's place and I get to enjoy it, but I don't have to deal with the frustration of seeing the plot nearly disappear. But for people that seem to only care about characters if they're part of a ship? That's the worst thing ever.

#anti zutara #pro kataang #pro aang

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queen-of-writing-bad-things · 3 months

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Henry Danger Reader Insert | Captain Man x Reader: SEASON 1

Episode 26: Jasper's Real Girlfriend

~Swellview Junior High~

It was another typical day at Henry's school. Sydney Birnbaum, Oliver Pook, Jasper and two other of the school's...more unusual boys were complaining about their girlfriends. Sydney was moaning and groaning about his was always annoyed at how he responded to texts late, which seemed petty, but everything was petty in high school. The other boys agreed, thinking that their girlfriends did nothing but give them a hard time, apart from Jasper who for once, was in a relationship. Not that anyone believed him.

"Well, my girlfriend is awesome." He told his friends, who just stared at him, believing that he was just trying to make himself look cool.

"What?" he asked after they fell silent.

"You ain't got no woman," Oliver said, making the other boys laugh at Jasper. Henry and Jasper watched the sad scene, feeling sorry for their friend. It wasn't his fault that he so rarely had a girlfriend that when he did have someone special, it seemed hilariously untrue.

"I do too, she just lives outta town." He told them, but they just scoffed.

"Psh. Yeah, right." Sydney laughed, and the other boys followed suit.

"Oh, sure, just exit laughing!" He called after them, as they moved on to their next class. Jerks.

"Hey."

"How you doing, Jasp?" Henry and Charlotte walked up to the downcast boy, hoping they could raise his spirits.

"I'm doing mad. Can you believe those guys think I'm lying about having a girlfriend?" He asked his friends, but honestly, they thought he was fibbing too.

"Yeahhhh." They answered together, trying not to upset him further.

"Wh--You guys don't believe me either?" He asked them with a betrayed look on his face.

"Well, we believe..." Henry started, not knowing how to phrase it.

"...That you're lying." Charlotte finished for him, preferring to just say what they meant without pussyfooting around.

"Yeah." Henry agreed, much to Jasper's annoyance.

"But I've been telling you guys about Courtney ever since I got back from summer camp." He told them and they sighed at how worked up he was getting.

"Jasper, you don't have to make things up to impress us." Charlotte comforted him, but Jasper felt like he didn't need to be comforted. He was telling the complete and honest truth!

"I'd never make up a lie just to impress you guys." He said, hating how they saw him as a pathetic, lying loser.

"Really? Third grade. You. pulled a bag of dirt out of your pocket and told me it came from Jupiter." Henry recalled his younger self who thought that the dirt was some mystical space dust.

"I thought it did. Back then I didn't know you can't trust guys in vans who sell space dirt." Jasper stressed. He was too little at the time to realise that dirt can't come from a planet that's made from gas and nothing else.

"Dude, you'll get a girlfriend someday," Henry told his best friend, whose head rolled in frustration.

"But if not, you can get a pet." Charlotte smiled, trying to encourage Jasper that in theory, he'd never be lonely, just a bit weird.

"You can get a rabbit for, like, 20 bucks," Henry informed them, to which Charlotte nodded enthusiastically.

"I don't need a rabbit! I got a girl and her name is Courtney, whether you believe it or not." Jasper emphasised his words, but his message still didn't get through.

"And what's Courtney's last name?" Henry asked, thinking that Jasper would look all shifty and nervous as he came up with an answer.

"Sham." The curly-haired boy replied, making his friends giggle. It was an unfortunate coincidence for him that his girlfriend's last name suggested that she was fake.

"And what city is she from?" Charlotte asked too.

"Fibberton." He answered, making Henry and Charlotte sigh and roll their eyes. With a name like that and being from a place called 'Fibberton', it's no wonder they wouldn't believe him.

"All right, why don't you invite Courtney Sham from Fibberton here to Swellview so we can all meet her," Henry suggested, thinking that you can't meet someone if they don't exist.

"Yeah. Tell her she can stay at my house." Charlotte told him, not realising that she'd be rueing her words in a couple of days.

"Maybe I will." Jasper snapped, wanting to prove them wrong.

"Bye!" He said to them, leaving them to think about how angry he was. Could he be telling the truth?

~The Man Cave, later that day~

It had been slightly tense in the Man Cave for the past couple of weeks. The whole Ray lying about Henry turning evil hadn't gone down well with (y/n) and she had felt a little awkward around him since it seemed like he didn't trust her. Still, they were working through their grievances and like always, any tear in their complex relationship had slowly healed up.

Everything was back to normal, well, whatever normal was in the Man Cave. Currently, Henry and Ray were trying to outmatch each other in a ping-pong tournament. (y/n) watched from the steps behind them, intrigued at how Ray's shirt allowed her to see every movement of muscles beneath the material, but she couldn't give a fig about the dumb competition.

"Here it comes!" Henry told his boss as they beat the small, white ball back and forth across the table.

"Bring it, son. Ha, you got nothing." Ray taunted him, trying to show off in front of his best friend so he could hear her adoring praises. After feeling like he was treading on eggshells around her for the past two weeks, he was eager to be in her good books again.

"What do you call this?" Henry asked as he swung his paddle with all his strength.

"Lame!" Ray jumped up to return the ball with equal force, not hearing the small gasp fall from (y/n)'s lips as she saw a small portion of his back be exposed as he lept in the air.

"Hey, guys, Harrison Ford just crash-landed his aeroplane in the Jandy River!" Schwoz yelled as he held his hand over the phone's speaker.

"Again?" Henry frowned, too invested in his ping gong game to care if the celeb had ditched his place in the river.

"Isn't this, like, his third plane crash?" Ray added, focusing on the game too. All (y/n) could focus on was the way his biceps looked like tree trunks from how he'd been working out recently.

Ray saw an opening and exploited it, beating Henry as the ball went out of bounds. The boy groaned, frustrated that he had been beaten after putting so much effort in.

"21 to 19! I win again!" Ray smiled and threw down his paddle in celebration as (y/n) squealed and ran over to him, planting a kiss on his cheek to congratulate him.

"Dang it, dang it! Frigid diphthong kumquat dang, dang it!" Henry yelled as Ray embrace his best friend, ignoring how his ears were burning from her lips on his skin.

"Good game." The boy calmly shook hands with his opponent after the man had released (y/n) from his arms.

"Thanks." Ray accepted the praise, feeling pretty special at how everyone was complimenting him.

"Now...let's blow a bubble and get Harrison Ford out of trouble." He instructed the boy, not wanting to leave the man in the freezing waters. Schwoz looked at them as he stayed on the phone, waiting to see if there'd be any updates.

"Can't we just send Chewbacca to fish him out?" (y/n) joked, not wanting him to go even though she'd never keep him from his job.

"No, silly girl!" Ray laughed, giving her one last hug before he went. For once, he didn't want to go either, but he had no choice, Swellview needed him and he had to go. He'd returned to her, always.

"Let's go." He said to Henry, having missed the knowing look the kid had shared with Schwoz.

They ran over to the tubes and slapped their belts so they would come down. Only, as Henry's came down in was covered in some kind of gross, gooey gunge stuff.

"What the..." (y/n) breathed out as she gagged at how filthy the tube was. She had several questions, namely who had done and why hadn't they cleaned it up.

"What is all over your tube?" Ray looked at the filth, feeling a bit squeamish at the sight of it. They raised their tubes as (y/n) walked over to them, demanding an answer. She was scary when it came to someone leaving a big mess in the Man Cave, particularly when they didn't clean up after themselves.

"Okay." Henry sighed when she looked at the boy with raised eyebrows. She couldn't think of when Ray could have done it since they had been together since the last time that tube had been used, leaving only Henry and Schwoz as possible suspects. The little man was on the phone looked extremely panicked as Henry started his confession, hinting that he'd had something to do with it.

"Yesterday, Schwoz told me to go up the tube with a hot nacho platter and the suckage made the cheese and refried beans go everywhere," Henry explained guilty, his strong moral conscience not allowing him to lie to his friends.

"Schwoz?" Ray scolded his employee when (y/n) looked at him to tell the little man off since he was his boss.

"My sister is in town and she wanted a taste of Mexico." He whined, but (y/n) wasn't happy, not in the slightest.

"Well, both of you are gonna clean that damn tube." She told the with a stern voice. She wanted to get it done herself, but she wasn't going to fall into the habit of cleaning up all the messes they couldn't be bothered to do themselves.

"Oh, come on." Schwoz frowned like a child.

"The tube is, like 100 feet tall," Henry added, looking to Ray for help but he wouldn't find any. The man didn't want her cleaning the nacho goop either, she was his helper, she helped him, not them.

"Well, you should've thought of that before you tried to fly up it with a hot sloppy snack," Ray told them firmly, but Schwoz received more info from the person on the phone, so his attention was quickly taken away.

"Wait, wait, what? Okay, Harrison Ford's aeroplane just sank." He told the superheroes who sighed. More work.

"You guys should go save him." (y/n) told them, but they looked a bit hesitant.

"We will...after one more quick game?" Henry looked at his boss as the young woman blanched at his words.

"We can't ju--my serve." Ray threw his sense of duty out of the window as he and Henry ran to pick up their paddles again. The same tapping of the ball against the table filled the room again as they resumed play, Schwoz and (y/n) gobsmacked at them.

"Oi, assholes. Harrison Ford, danger, go!" (y/n) pointed to the tubes. They could take one tube or if necessary, they could use the elevator and sneak out of the store. Either way, they had to go help the city.

"Yeah, yeah, in a bit, sweetheart," Ray mumbled back, his mind too focused on the game to realise what he had called her so casually or how she stopped breathing as she practically had an out-of-body experience. Sweetheart? Yes, please.

~Swellview Junior High, the next day~

Henry stood by his locker as Charlotte wandered through the halls, looking for her friend.

"Hey. How can come Jasper wasn't in class last period?" She asked the blond boy, curious as to why her other friend had been absent.

"I don't know. He asked Miss Shapen if he could skip class, and she said, "Yeah, sure, just leave me like every man does."" Henry quoted, but his attention was redirected as Jasper and a very pretty girl with a suitcase came through the school's entrance.

"Wow. Cool school." The girl said as Jasper showed her around.

"Thanks. Oh, Charlotte, Henry. I didn't expect to see you two here." The curly-haired boy gloated at his friends, ready to rub the fact he wasn't lying in their faces.

"Why? We go to school here every day." Charlotte frowned at him.

"And this is where our lockers are," Henry added, but Jasper swiftly moved on.

"Ha, ha, too true. Too true." Jasper stretched his arm around the girl next to him, making his friends frown at the gesture.

"So, I'd like you to meet my girl, Courtney." He introduced his girlfriend, who smiled brightly.

"Hi. It's so great to meet you guys. Jasper's told me so much about you." She greeted them politely, giggling at how their mouths dropped.

"Oka, did he find you at a bus stop?" Charlotte asked, feeling flabbergasted.

"And did he pay you 50 cents to come here and pretend to be his girlfriend?" Henry added, offending his best friend with the low price.

"50 cents? Look at her." Jasper gestured to Courtney, who just grinned and blushed.

"He's your boyfriend?" Charlotte asked her, still in disbelief.

"Well, I sure hope so. I just rode a bus 300 miles from Fibberton to see him." The pretty girl sighed dreamily, as Jasper smirked with pride.

"I paid 20% of her bus ticket." He bragged.

"How come this is the first time she's been to Swellview?" Henry asked the boy.

"'Cause, I don't have a guest room in my house. So when Charlotte said she could stay at her place, I invited her to come here." Jasper revealed as Charlotte's eyes bugged out at his words. Yep, she regretted saying that.

"But, I didn't know she was real." She stammered.

"Well, she is. Wanna feel her face?" The boy asked, putting his hands on his girlfriend's elbows and pushing her towards Charlotte a bit, but neither girl wanted to do the suggestion.

"I guess I'll call my mom and let her know you're coming over." Charlotte smiled at the other girl, who was about to be her roommate for the night couple of nights.

"Great."

"Super." The couple giggled together as Charlotte went to call her mom.

"Hey, wait here. I'mma go get the guys and bring them here to show them that you really exist!" Jasper squealed excitedly, running off early so he could prove Oliver and Sydney wrong.

"Wow, you seem awesome. Jasper's a lucky guy." Henry smiled at Courtney, trying to break the ice.

"Thanks. He says really nice things about you and Charlotte." The girl smiled back.

"Well, Jasper's been my best friend for a long time and he loves Charlotte." He told her, but his words seemed to upset Courtney.

"Yeah, what do you mean?" She asked with a scowl now etched onto her pretty features.

"Huh?" Henry couldn't think of what he had said wrong.

"You said Jasper loves Charlotte." She reiterated, a sting of raging jealously going through her heart.

"Yeah, you know, they like...oh, no, no, no, wait, wait. I didn't mean like he loves her." Henry panicked as Courtney went into a meltdown.

"Are there any other girls around here that Jasper is in love with?" she screeched, freaking out at the thought of Jasper with another girl.

"No, no, no. Just Charlotte." Henry tried to correct himself, but it just made things worse.

"Oh great, so he is in love with her." Courtney growled, a deep hatred for Charlotte taking root in her mind.

" No, they just, they're just really close and it's like--" The boy stuttered, but the teen girl was too lost in her jealousy.

" Oh my god! " She shouted as Charlotte returned, not knowing about the shit show she just walked

"Hi. So, I talked to my mom and she said it's no problem." She smiled, but it quickly fell when all Courtney did was scowl at her. The dark-haired girl looked at Henry for help, but he just held his hands to his face, thinking about how he'd really screwed everything. Well, tonight was going to be a blast.

~The next day, at Junk-N-Stuff~

Ray and Henry were continuing their ping pong tournament and it was just as heated as it had been before.

"You're going down! " Henry growled as an enthralled (y/n) watched their every movement. Ray was wearing another tight T-shirt and she couldn't take her eyes off of him.

"I'm coming up."Ray quipped, as he tried to keep his focus on the game and not on his beautiful cheerleader.

"Here it comes !" Henry yelled as he basked the ball with his ping pong paddle.

"It's coming back! " Ray was desperate to win, after all, he had someone to impress.

"I'm the king of Ping. "Henry commented, as their banter went back and forth with the ball.

"I'm the master of pong! " Ray replied as the elevator doors opened and Schwoz came out with a trumpet. He blew it loudly, resulting in Henry and (y/n) jumping out of their skins. Ray, on the other hand, had planned the attack so he could scare Henry into losing. He laughed and smirked in victory when the ball hit the floor as his friends, clutched their hearts in fear.

"And I win again!" He bragged to her, who frowned at how his boss had cheated.

"No!" Henry cried, annoyed at how he'd lost to that sucker again.

"Yes!" Ray smiled, but it fell when (y|n) punched him on the arm.

"Asshole! You scared me half to death!" She glared at both him and Schwoz. He gave her an apologetic look, not wanting to ruin his victory by losing his girl's support.

"And that means I win the ping pong championship belt." Ray gloated and held up what looked like a WWE belt, only it had a load of ping pong balls stuck to it. Henry whimpered as (y/n) begrudgingly helped him put in on.

"Hoo, hoo, hoo! " Ray chanted as he paraded around the Man cave, but Henry wasn't going to let the hollow victory slide.

"Schwoz distracted me... And scared (y/n)!" The boy pointed out, making Ray turn around and look at the kid and his best friend.

"Hey. (Y/n)'s fine. And ping pong's about three things, paddles, staying focused, and small plastic balls." Ray told his sidekick.

"Oh yeah, mid-afternoon cardio is my favourite thing." The young woman looked at her best friend sarcastically, so he put an arm around her shoulder and showed her his new belt.

"Why'd you walk in here and blow that thing?" Henry asked Schwoz, who tried to look innocent.

"I found it in a dumpster." He told the kid, causing his friends to grimace as a tube came down, and much to (y/n) 's annoyance, it was still covered in nacho cheese.

"Why haven't you two cleaned that damn tube yet?!" She yelled, looking at the pipe in disgust. Poor Charlotte had to travel through the gunk which had now started to crust over and smelt really, really bad.

"Hello." "Hey, Char." Henry and Schwoz greeted the miserable girl. She'd had a terrible night with Courtney and she was certain that the girl was trying to kill her. The others looked at her in confusion as she moodily plodded past them.

"Charlotte, sweetie, are you all right?" (y/n) asked the teen carefully when she noticed how out of it she was.

"No, thanks. I just ate a taco," she replied, not even listening to what she had been asked. She wandered over to the supercomputer and sat down, completely ignoring her friend's concern.

"What's up with her?" Henry said to the adults, but they couldn't give an answer. This was completely unlike the girl's normal behaviour.

"Worry about her later. Right now, you and Schwoz are gonna clean that tube." Ray scolded Henry and Schwoz, sharing his best friend's anger at how his equipment was still disgustingly dirty.

"Or...I challenge you."Henry suggested, making (y/n) groan in frustration. At this rate, she'd be the one cleaning it just so she didn't go insane.

"To what? "Ray asked, always up for some competition to prove he was the best.

"To another game of Ping pong." The boy answered, piquing Ray's interest. (Y/n) sorely didn't want them to battle it out just to decide who would clean the stupid tube.

"If l lose, me and Schwoz clean the tube. If you lose, you and (y/n) have to clean it." The boy set down the rules.

"While wearing ducky pyjamas." Ray upped the ante, confident that he and the young woman next to him would be fine.

"Why am I getting dragged into this? This is your testosterone freak fest." she groaned, not wanting to bet on something so stupid.

'It's a bet." Henry shook Ray's hand in agreement, sealing the deal. Schwoz and (y/n) groaned as they were sworn in too, despite their protests.

Charlotte was too busy scrolling through Courtney's Twitflash to realise that any bet had been made. She wanted to find out more about this girl since she had done nothing but try to assassinate her during the night by using her ceiling fan as a weapon.

"Hey, Char." Henry approached her, wondering what she was doing that was so important it meant that she hadn't spoken one word to him since she'd arrived.

"Charlotte." He reiterated when she failed to answer. He tapped her on the shoulder gently, causing her to turn around angrily.

"WHAT?! What's what, what?!" She snapped, scaring Henry a little.

"Why are you looking at pics of Jasper's girlfriend?" He asked, recognising the girl on the monitor.

"Because she's trying to kill me." She revealed, sounding insane to Henry.

"What?"

"Last night. I think she loosened some bolts in my ceiling fan. Because it fell and almost took my head off." She told her friend her theory, but Henry just looked at her like she'd gone crazy.

"Why would Courtney want to hurt you?" The boy sighed.

"I don't know. But she's acting all jealous, why would she be jealous of me? " Charlotte mentioned, making everything fall into place for him. Oh, shit.

"Uh..." Henry struggled to say anything, which made the other teen highly suspicious.

"What do you mean...uh?" She asked.

"Y'see, at school, I might have kind of made Courtney think that Jasper kind of...loves you." He told her, freaking the girl out.

"Well, why would you say that?" Charlotte snapped at him, thinking about how he'd really screwed her over.

"Because he does love you. As a friend. But she didn't get that." He sighed. What a mess.

"Yeah, all she got was a reason to kill me." The girl stressed.

"Well, what do you want me to do?" Henry asked, ready to sort out the mess he had made.

"Help me tell Jasper that his girlfriend is a crazy, jealous lunatic." Charlotte proposed, but the boy wasn't sure.

"He'll never believe us." He replied so the two teens thought about their predicament for a moment.

"Okay, then we're gonna tell him, and we're gonna show him." She smirked, her devious plan forming in her head.

"How?"

"You and Jasper are going to hide in my room tonight, and he'll see for himself now coo-coo his girlfriend is." The dark-haired girl explained.

"Ah, I don't know." Henry hesitated. Did he really want to take away the first girlfriend Jasper had had in ages?

"Please?" Charlotte begged him, knowing she'd need his help to pull this off.

"Do you still keep that dish of gummy bears by your closet door?" Henry wanted there to be something in it for him.

"Yeah," she groaned; she'd have to buy another packet after Henry had visited.

"Okay, I'll do it "Henry agreed, the temptation of gummy bears being too much for him to resist. Their plotting was halted as (y/n) came down the stairs from the sprocket. She had grown tired of watching Ray stroke and coo at his belt, so she had strolled from his bedroom to the living area.

"Hey, guys." She smiled at the kids, wondering what they were talking about in the middle of the room.

"Hey, Ray starting to annoy ya?" Henry asked, knowing now Ray was loving flaunting his ping pong belt.

"Oh my god, yes. He keeps kissing the damn thing." She groaned, making the kids laugh.

"What? You want him to kiss you instead?" Charlotte smirked and the woman blushed, frantically looking to see if Ray had followed and heard them. God, she'd be mortified.

"Hey! I don't want to kiss him!" (y/n) screeched quickly, but the kids knew her far too well to believe her.

"Yeah, sure!" Henry giggled at her red face, knowing that some of the things she had thought about Ray were downright sinful.

"What were you guys even talking about?" the young woman asked, trying to steer the conversation away from her yearning.

"Me and Henry are gonna show Jasper how much of a psycho his girlfriend is. Charlotte explained and the older girl raised an eyebrow at her words.

"The bucket kid has a girlfriend?" She asked in an amused voice.

"Yeah, and she's totally insane, she tried to kill me last night 'cause she thinks Jasper's in love with me," Charlotte told her, shocking (y/n) to her core. Kids weren't this crazy when she was younger.

"Jesus. She does sound crazy. Are you sure you'll be okay?" She looked at the teens. If anything happened to them because some silly teenage girl got too jealous for her own good, she'd be heartbroken.

"Actually, we could use an adult on our side to back us up," Henry mentioned, knowing he'd feel a lot safer if he had a calm, rational adult, like (y/n), with them.

"Yeah, could you come to my house tonight and hide with Jasper and Henry?" Charlotte asked her, but the woman wasn't sure. She didn't make a habit of staking out children's bedrooms.

"You won't have to listen to Ray and watch his belt-kissing." Henry pointed out.

"Done." She agreed. At least it would get her out of the Man Cave for the night, after all, adventure is good for the soul.

~ Later that night, Charlotte's house~

Charlotte and Courtney had gone to bed like everything was normal, only it wasn't since she was sleeping with a baseball bat and Henry and (y/n) were hiding in her closet. Pecking out from behind the door, the two could see Charlotte pretending to be asleep as Jasper opened the trunk at the bottom of her bed and looked around. They all gave each other a thumbs up signalling that they were all in position for whatever Courtney would do.

Henry went to flick the light on, but the psycho teen moved and mumbled in her sleep, causing him to back off. The girl got out of bed, which made Charlotte shoot up too.

"Hi, how are you? Why did you get out of bed?" She asked quickly, thinking that Courtney was about to murder her or something.

"Oh, I just need to use the bathroom." She said, getting up and walking over to the ensuite.

"Wait." Charlotte stopped her and got out of bed too.

"Yeah?" the other girl smiled.

"Listen. I know Henry told you that Jasper loves me." Charlotte started as (y/n) carefully opened the closet door so she and Henry could listen.

"Oh, well, yeah. He did." Courtney said carefully. Seeing his chance, Henry started shoving as many gummy bears in his mouth as possible.

"Right. But I want you to understand he meant just as friends." Charlotte told her, running over to her gummy bear bowl so Henry would stop eating them.

"I promise I'm not trying to take Jasper away from you or anything like that," she added, jumping on her trunk so Jasper would stop opening it.

"Oh. Well, thanks. I really appreciate you telling me." Courtney smiled, but it had a sinister element to it. The girl opened the bathroom door and walked inside, but the weird thing was that she took her suitcase with her.

Finally, alone, the guys in the trunk and closet came out of their hiding places.

"See? She's not insane. You both owe me an apology." Jasper told his friends sternly as Henry and (y/n) ate some gummy bears.

"No, she may be acting nice now, but I'm telling you she needs help. That's why (y/n) is here." Charlotte insisted.

"I think she seems pretty nice," Henry said, his voice garbled from all the gummy bears he had eaten.

"Yeah, I've met a lot of bitches in my life and she's not one of them." (y/n) added, popping another piece of squishy candy into her mouth.

"Then explain the ceiling fan almost falling on here," Charlotte said, pointing to where the fan had previously hung.

"Aah!!!" No one had any time to respond as Courtney burst out of the bathroom, wearing a Vikings helmet and carrying a chainsaw crusher thing.

"STAY AWAY FROM MY MAN!!!" She screamed, firing up her weapon as (y/n) pushed Henry further into the closet. They all cried in pure terror as Courtney tried to attack them.

"Holy shit! She is crazy!" The woman screamed as Henry and she ran out of the closet. They didn't want to trap themselves in there if crazy Courtney forced her way in.

Tackling her to the ground, Henry gave (y/n) the chance to keep Charlotte and Jasper away from the psychopath. The dark-haired girl grabbed her baseball bat as Courtney got back of her feet and tried to turn him into mincemeat. They ran over Charlotte's bed and dodged her lethal machine. They threw pillows, lotions, deodorants, anything that would keep her back, but it seemed like her rage was endless.

"Get the silver pillow cushion seat thing!" (y/n) instructed Henry. This wasn't now she had expected the night to go. She could've been at home with pay right now, but, noo000. She had volunteered to go up against Fibberton's biggest nutter.

Following the woman's instructions, Henry picked up the shiny cushion and when Courtney charged at him, he used it to push her back, forcing her through the window.

"I'll get you for that! I'll get you!" She screamed from outside, demonstrating that she really was insane.

"Okay, maybe she needs help," Jasper admitted as the only adult in the room called the cops. Henry and Charlotte rolled their eyes and blew out their cheeks. That was a massive understatement; Courtney needed serious, psychiatric care, stat.

~The next day, in the Man Cave~

Another stupid ping pong competition. Henry needed a stress reliever after the whole Courtney-near-death experience. He really didn't want to clean that damn tube and finally beating Ray sounded pretty good in his mind. The smug man was even wearing the ping pong belt to assert his previous victory.

The males were pulling out every trick they had, from spins to under the leg shots, they were sparing no expense. (y/n) was watching like always, her support going to Ray since if he lost it meant she was cleaning the foul-smelling tube and she loved watching him move. She felt like a teenager again; obsessing over a football player on the field, silently giving him her love.

Eventually, they hit it so hard that the ball became a white blur in the air, not even touching the table. They shouted from the effort it took it to keep the ball in the air, but Ray was ultimately victorious, using his superior strength to hit the ball into Henry's eye.

"Whoo!" Ray smirked, tossing his paddle in his hand as (y/n) ran over to him and jumped on him in elation. He laughed with her as they span around, ecstatic to have won the bet. He buried his nose into her hair as her smile warmed his heart. He had won for her.

"Ha, ha, yeah. That's 17 to 20. One more point and I win." Ray said, his hand resting on (y/n)'s hip, which at this point, was where it belonged.

"I know how ping pong scoring works." Henry hissed, not happy at how badly he was losing.

"Your serve," Ray told him, letting the kid go first.

"Wait, wait, wait." (y/n) interrupted an idea coming into her mind.

"What?" Henry and Ray asked, confused as to why she was stopping the play.

"Can I play this round? I mean, we are a team, right?" She asked Ray, who looked at her in disbelief. She wanted to play?

"What? But you never play ping pong, even with me." He said to her as Henry shrugged. He didn't care who he played, to be honest.

"Yeah, and now I want to play since I'm cleaning the tube too. So give me the paddle." She gave him a pointed look and he regretfully gave her the ping pong bat. Looks like he'd be the one watching from the sidelines. Slipping off her zip-up hoodie, (y/n) stretched her arms and hips a little bit, Ray blushing as her black tank top stretched over her...features. Now, he'd be in her position, dreaming sinfully about the way her flesh jiggled and bounced as she dived for the ball.

"Your serve, Henry." She reiterated what Ray had said to the boy, getting her gaming head on. All her skill from her years of playing ping pong in college was ready and waiting to be used. However, Henry just stood there and bounced the ball in a bored manner. What was his plan?

"Are you stalling?" Ray asked the boy who just looked around the Man Cave, ignoring how (y/n) was studied his every move. Her muscles were poised and tensed for action and she was expecting a surprise move any minute now.

"No. It's just Schwoz is supposed to be here and he's late, so..." Henry excused, trying to prolong the wait.

"Kid, it's game point. Just serve." (y/n) told him, eager to get cracking.

"Lose, and get to scrubbing the filthy tube," Ray added, also desperate for the match to start so he could see his girl kick his ass. But, they were interrupted by Schwoz as he came into the room with a large, weird-looking man.

"Hey guys, Ray, this is Larry." He introduced the guy, as Ray stood up angrily.

"What are you crazy?" He looked at the genius with wide eyes.

"You can't just bring people down to the Man Cave." (y/n) said too, thinking that Schwoz should've known the rules by now since he had worked with Ray for longer than she had.

"Larry is family, you said I could bring anyone in my family down here except for my sister." Schwoz reminded him.

"Who looks like a horse," (y/n) giggled, making the little man roll his eyes.

"Oh, all right. But (y/n)'s just about to beat Henry at ping pong so if you guys—" The superhero was cut off as Henry smiled at Larry.

"Just a sec. Larry, right there." Henry instructed the man, who walked over to the tube and took his shirt off, which he then threw to Schwoz.

"Uh, I'm flattered but he's not my type?" (y/n) joked, wondering what the hell they were doing. Larry definitely wasn't her type, namely because he wasn't a brown-haired, ripped superhero with a goofy personality.

"You said that ping pong is all about staying focused," Henry said to Ray, who recalled what he had said the day before.

"Yeah, but what's the—" Ray didn't have the chance to finished his sentence as Henry used his remote control to play some music. Larry started dancing and it was pretty funny, to say the least. 'So that's their play, huh.' (y/n) thought to herself, knowing that it would take more than a boogieing weirdo to break her focus.

"Just hit the damn ball." She said to Henry, who at last served the ball. She returned it easily, and they fell into a tense battle. Larry danced his heart out, but it distracted Ray more than it distracted her. She really should've told him to be quiet, because his cute laughter caused her to miss the ball. Twice.

"Raymond, will you stop laughing?" She hissed at him as he giggled at the man's dancing. Henry and Schwoz knew that Ray wouldn't have been able to ignore a fat guy dancing and they knew that (y/n) wouldn't have been blue to ignore him being adorable. It was a very sneaky plan.

"Aha! 19-20!" Henry and Schwoz celebrated, as (y/n) gulped. It was all to play, for now, no room for error. Larry grabbed a lime-green bikini top to up the ante, making Ray chuckle again. He even had a skipping rope to add to the laugh factor, which took (y/n)'s anxiety to the next level. Things were getting tense, Henry only needed a couple more points to win.

"Seriously, please stop laughing or I will kill you." She made Ray look her in the eye, her glowing skin stealing his breath away. He nodded dumbly, her radiant beauty making his tongue useless.

"Okay, let's do this thing." She nodded at Henry, desperate to win the competition, not because she'd have to scrub the tube if she didn't, (she didn't care about that), she just wanted to make him proud.

After another intense round, with Henry scoring yet another two points, making to score 21- 20, everyone was on edge. Larry had a siren on his head and a space hopper in an attempt to make Ray laugh, but the man was biting down on his thumb to keep in his giggles. He chose to focus on her hips instead, loving the way her feminine curves moved and bounced as she dived for the ball.

"Henry, one more point and we won't have to wear the pyjamas," Schwoz told the boy excitedly. Larry decided to move on to the next stage of his plan, so he brought out a King Charles cavalier spaniel and started to eat spaghetti and meatballs with it, like in Lady and the Tramp. Okay, this was getting ridiculous.

"Okay, okay, that's it, I'll clean the damn tube. Stop feeding the dog." She snapped, slamming her paddle on the table. It was just easier for her to get on with it, rather than carry on this bloody charade.

"You forfeit?" Henry gasped at her, not believing that she'd give up so easily. Didn't she want to flaunt her assets at Ray anymore?

"(y/n/n), we're so close," Ray whined, as she walked past him so she could change into the stupid duck pyjamas.

"I know, but I can smell that thing from here and this is just...dumb! I'll clean it, you play the game. Loser cleans with me." She sighed, failure stung like a bitch.

She left them to finish the game, quickly returning when she had put on her PJ's. In all honesty, she often cleaned in pyjamas since she always got in a cleaning groove late at night when Captain Man was out fighting criminals. And they were pretty cute in her opinion, so she didn't mind too much.

She walked down from the sprocket only to see Henry dancing around the room with Ray's belt. Oh shit, they won. Ray looked dumbfounded that he'd lost to a kid. Now he had to spend his night chiselling cheese off the tube.

"Let me guess? The dog got to you?" She gave Ray a sympathetic smile and he groaned in sadness. He hated losing, but at least he wouldn't have to scrub the tube alone. She patted his arm and he shuffled off to put his red duck pyjamas on. Schwoz, Larry and Henry laughed at his disappointed face, but little did they know that their victory came with a bonus for Ray...

~15 minutes later~

"You're doing great. Keep scrubbing that tube, guys!" Henry called to the friends who were now both in the tube. Whilst the three winners got to munch on Chinese takeout, Ray and (y/n) had to chip the hardened cheese off of the strong glass. It sounded like a pretty crappy job, but it did come with a small perk.

The confined space in the pipe meant they were pressed up against each other, and boy, were they secretly loving it. He felt like a giant behind her, his muscly arms wrapping around her so he could wipe the wall. Not to mention the fact that the thin pyjamas meant that every contour of his body was pressing into her from head to toe, and I mean, every contour. She blushed as she cleaned, trying to ignore his breath on her neck, his muscles rippling against her skin, his lower half pressing into her from behind. It was an overload of sensations for her, but she didn't want it to stop.

Ray was the same. His head was spinning from how small she felt next to him. He was her protector, so why did she feel like prey? He wanted to claim her, to mark her in a way that would tell other men she was his and only his, but he daren't, even when the curve of her neck was exposed to his lips. He just basked in her presence, glad that he could just take a moment to appreciate the way she pressed into him in a sinfully delicious way. God, this was torturous, but he liked it.

"Keep it up, guys!" Schwoz yelled as they kept scrubbing, his noodles and spring rolls distracting him and the others from the steamy moment in the tube. They weren't in a hurry. They had all the time in the world to savour their love, which was growing stronger by the day, giving them the strength to keep going like always. Ray Manchester and (y/n) (y/l/n) against the world.

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itsoneofthemuses · 11 months

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Hi! I agree with pretty much everything you wrote about in the post for Rookie-ask game. Would you be interested in expanding on your thoughts? I know you said you wanted to keep it brief to avoid hate, but I think it would be great to get more diverse opinions in this fandom and I think you would have support for starting a discussion.

Lucy was my favorite character from the start and I am disappointed with her character growth in season 5 (it felt non-existent). As well as how she is viewed by many in this fandom as either a flawless badass who can do no wrong (and in extension no need for character growth) or as not confident, desperate for validation and with no self-awareness. There are definitely people who have a more nuanced view too and I really appreciated their perspective . But for example a majority of fics are written from Tim´s perspective and like you say it feels like in a lot of them Lucy is written as very passive. There is definitely very much an emphasis on Tim´s perspective in both the show, fics and here on tumblr. I am very glad he is explored as a nuanced character, but I wish Lucy would also get that.

I would be really interested in hearing your thoughts, but I would also completely understand if you do not feel like posting them.

Hope you have a nice day :)

If anyone knows me, they know I love to talk. My thoughts and tangents are scattered far and wide, incoherent and half-finished ramblings all over the place. So, I'll do my best, because... Damn it, you're not wrong. I think every fandom should host a diversity of feelings, thoughts, and passionate (but polite) discourse.

I'm not sure *exactly* which thoughts you want me to expand on (and I'm very curious about what falls outside of the "pretty much everything" you agree with), but I'll build on what you mention in your ask - Lucy is also my favourite character and she was followed closely by Nyla when she came on the scene in S2. I probably hew closer to the "flawless badass who can do no wrong" read of Lucy than I'd like, but I think there are canonical things for her to work on: she can be impulsive (confronting Tim outside of Isabel's home, adopting Kojo, giving Tamara her car), she has a petty streak (getting revenge on Tim, asking out the paramedic after Emmett dumps her), she has a tendency toward self-preservation that can make her selfish (asking about sacrificing the fugitive gang member, asking Nolan to lie to cover up their affair), and she is fueled by righteous anger that can lead her to do dumb things (threatening the dickhead who kicked sand at his dog, nearly threatening Stanton, yelling at Chris when she first met him).

A lot of anger about S4 after the cut.

In S4 and S5 (but especially S4, and actually, even a little in S3), Lucy displays a lot of immaturity that I don't think was as apparent in S1 or S2 where she typically displays better judgement than Jackson and a more realistic perspective than Nolan. It was frustrating to watch a character that seemed to know herself fairly well and was so open to confrontation and growth become a character who was jealous of a rookie and seemed to bounce back and forth emotionally in all of her relationships (romantic and otherwise) until Tim pointed it out and provoked her into action. For someone whose superpower is empathy (and oh gag at the idea that all cops have a superpower), she displayed a startling lack of self-awareness in S4 and S5 and I just... I don't know. The entire show changed *a lot* in S4 in ways that were monumentally disappointing for me, but none so much as the way the women on the show suffered in terms of character development.

I could honestly talk about this for hours, use thousands of words to proselytize at length, but S4 was a season that I so deeply dislike that I don't think I've purposely rewatched a single episode. Maybe I've missed nuances or missed plot points that, on rewatch, would've played better, but I don't think so. I think I (and many friends) have a fundamentally different perspective on the show as a direct consequence of S4 and part of it is the perceived character assassination (across the board, mind you, but especially) of the women on the show.

For context, I would like to point out that we spent two episodes with Emmett (go look at the epic beautiful gifset by @hotshotchen but we spent, by contrast, 13 episodes with Chris. In that time, we see Lucy meet and engage willingly and flirtatiously with Emmett, him express interest without any subterfuge or third party prodding and them actually having fun (in bed the morning after, but whatever!) together, him messing up and apologizing, and Lucy accepting it and moving forward with him... With Chris, Tim sets them up, their differences are expounded upon with Lucy consistently suggesting in words and actions that she's not that into him, Chris messing up repeatedly and there being no closure around it, and then Tim breaking them up. We got more character growth and better storytelling in two episodes of Emmett than we did in 13 episodes of Chris. While Tim was relevant to Lucy and Emmett's relationship, their relationship was not about him nor was he directly involved. It was about Lucy. What was her relationship with Chris about? Yeah, I don't know either, but somehow I don't think the answer is Lucy.

Ah, sorry, anon, see how I get to rambling? If you have any specific questions... Come at me, I guess? I need direction or I just rant and rave wildly until I fall asleep. My bad.

#lucy chen #the rookie #chris sanford #the rookie anti s4 #anon ask #answered!#thanks for the ask!

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sidhewrites · 6 months

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Twelve!! Listen we are skipping an entire 3 scenes using the bracket method and I don't care, I wrote, I have written, I will write again. The chapter is also 90% Dialogue which will almost certainly be pared down in later versions, so it'll make up for it lol.

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[Josie suggests bringing renfield to the graveyard and holding their own seance, to recreate the ritual that summoned it and see who's haunting them, since weird stuff has been happening in the graveyard lately and at josie's home and nobody can figure out why. Eventually, Kaz lets herself get talked into it. or moreso strongarmed into it when she complains to lucy who thinks it's a great idea.]. kaz finds it completely ridiculous and shows up anyway

Note: possibly change ren to Kaz's kitty, and josie was going to drop thigns off at kaz's apartment and let him out?]

[Scene opens with Kaz and Lucy chatting at the graveyard, josie arrives]

"Who are you talking to?"

[What do you mean?

there's nobody there?]

"What? of course there is. She's right here. Josie, this is Lucy." I gesture vaguely.

[ha ha very funny. can we just get to work? the sooner we do, the sooner you can get rid of me.]

"Are you kidding? She's right here. Lucy, say something."

"Good evening?" she tries.

"Kaz, stop it. There's nobody there."

[and anyway at this point kaz realizes lucy's a ghost,]

"Wait you...actually can't see her, can you?"

Josie shrugs, exasperated.

"Uh... Lucy, how old are you?"

"Forever twenty-one."

"No, I mean...what year were you born?"

[1880s or whatever]

"You're being funny, right? Josie, she's being funny, right?"

Josie rolled her eyes. "I don't know how many times I have to tell you, there's nobody there."

"I'm not in the habit of lying," Lucy said.

I don't believe it. I mean -- she can't be, right? She's goth, and she's adorable and spooky, but she's not... She can't be... "You're a ghost, aren't you?"

"I am rather spectral inclined, yes."

"What's going on?" Josie asks. Her frustration has given way to a shocked confusion. "Kaz, who are you talking to?"

"Lucy. She's, uh...Lucy, what's your last name?"

She gives me a smile, either pleased that I've finally put two and two together, or irritated that it took so long. I can't quite tell which. "Blue."

"Shut up."

"I'd rather not."

"You're not Lucille Blue," I say.

"You're talking to Lucille Blue?" Josie asks.

"I always preferred Lucy, if I'm honest."

[Transition]

I'm honestly a little surprised to see it. Josie has never trusted spirit boards, much less an actual Ouija board. She's definitely too steeped in pop-culture. In her mind, not only do ghosts exist, but so do demons or malevolent spirits or whatever.

Oh.

Uh.

Hm.

I glance at Lucy, then back to Josie. I may have to put more groveling on my to-do list.

Reluctantly, I join Josie on the ground, sitting opposite her with the candles and Ouija board between us. Renfield's breathing is unusually quiet as he watches us from his bed.

[Uh Mrs. Blue can you sit over there?] She points to the empty spot to her left.

"Is that meant to be me?" Lucy asks.

"I think she prefers Lucy," I say, glancing over my shoulder.

"Right. Sorry. Uh, Lucy, can you...sit over there?"

Lucy does as instructed. This time, I notice there's no noise when she walks, nor does she seem to disturb the grass at all. I watch her skirts swish over the ground, but there's nothing to suggest she'd ever been there at all.

"And Kaz, you sit..." Josie gestures to the spot on her right.

I can't help but make a face for being pulled into something like this. But Lucy is sitting there smiling at me as prettily as ever, with her dress so black it almost looks like shadows in the night, that I force myself to swallow. "I'm gonna have to do a lot of existential exploration after this, aren't I?"

"I'm not going to say anything," Josie says, while her tone says more than enough.

When the two of us are settled, Josie looks over to the Carrier again, considering the mass of shadows within. Renfield is a skinny cat underneath his fluff, and he's squished himself as far back as possible, looking like a ball of blackness with two gleaming eyes reflecting the dim light outside.

"He okay?"

She nods weakly, and reaches over to unlatch the door and take up the lead attached to his little harness. "Come on, baby boy. Come out." She takes him out carefully and places him in the cat bed, expecting him to curl up and go to sleep like he normally does when confronted with a flat surface. Instead, however, he stands stock still like he doesn't know how to handle four legs. He watches his front paws, and takes a single step forward, off the bed and onto the grass.

She watches him consider the next placement of his foot, then look up and regard us three. His gaze lingers on Lucy, and begins stumbling directly over to her.

"Can he see me?" she asks with delight. "Hello, darling!"

"Where's he going?" Josie asks. "Is he going to Lucy?"

"I think so," I say.

But there's something wrong in how he walks -- something worse than usual. He's getting tangled up in his paws, missing steps. My worry grows, wondering if he's got a neurological issue, up until he stands upright. Suddenly Renfield appears much more confident in himself. His steps are awkward but more confident, and he fixes his eyes on Lucy. There's a focus there that hadn't been present in years. A single-mindedness towards...something that none of us understand.

Lucy reaches her hand out, and I wonder if she would be able to pet him. But once he's just barely out of her reach, his focus wavers. Renfield regains his usual wall-eyed expression, and falls back onto all fours. He regards the grass for a minute, sniffing the cold air, and meeps.

"I'm coming," Josie coos, and scoops him up. This time, when she deposits him back into the cat bed, he curls up like nothing happened. She scratches behind his ears until his wheezy purring fills the air, and she looks up at me.

I don't have anything witty to say. Josie was right -- that was weird. I'd never seen anything like that from any animal before outside of scary movies. If that had been happening for a month now... I swallow around a lump of guilt in my throat. I should have believed her earlier.

"Josie...?"

She doesn't look at me for a moment. "Let's just get this over with so I can put him to bed."

Lucy and I watch helplessly as she sets up the rest of the scene. She [does stuff to set up. Pulling candles and ash and stuff from her bag,] and finally a pendulum -- a small crystal on the end of a silver chain.

"That's quite the toolkit," Lucy observes

"She prides on herself on being prepared."

Josie sits, holding up the pendulum and considering it. She's the one running the show tonight, but I really hope we don't have to sit here watching a shiny rock wiggle back and forth for an hour before doing something more fun.

"If she asks a question, I can't promise I won't tap it."

"You're evil."

"What?" Josie looks up. She must have decided against the pendulum, because she puts it away while looking between me and where she thinks Lucy's sitting. "Are you guys talking about something"

"No."

Lucy places a delicate hand over her heart, the picture of innocence. "It's extremely tempting to sabotage attempts to contact the deceased."

"Lucy-- wait." I run a few calculations in my head. "You're... you're the deceased. Right?"

"My body is enjoying an eternal rest, but my mind still yearns to wander."

"Right. Cool. So doesn't that mean... -- Josie, she likes to interfere with people's seances and stuff. Doesn't that mean ... Lucy, doesn't that mean you're just giving them a successful ghost encounter? If you're -- you know ... that?"

Josie nods. "That sounds right to me."

[But i'm just having a bit of fun, I'm not actually giving them a ghost encounter]

"No...Lucy..." I frown. "Josie can you pick up the pendulum?"

Josie does, confused.

"Okay now...ask a question."

"Like what?"

I gesture vaguely. "You know. Anything. Something you'd ask a ghost."

"Okay...?" She holds her hand out and balances the pendulum. "This is yes..." she starts, letting it swing one way. "This is no," she says, letting it swing the other. "Does anyone... want to talk to me?" She grimaces, looking to me for some sort of hint of what else to do.

I nod, then point at Lucy. "Okay, go touch the pendulum."

She doesn't.

For a moment, nobody moves. Then Lucy shrugs. "Well, now I don't want to!"

"Luce!"

"What's going on?" Josie asks.

"She's got stage fright."

"It's not stage fright!" Lucy frowns. "I simply... don't care for performing just to prove a point. I'm not going to tap a crystal because it can channel energy between worlds. That's not how it works."

"No, you're going to go touch a shiny rock because other people thinks it channels energy between worlds. Please."

"What's going on?"

"I will not!" she protests, indignant.

A breeze shifts around us, swinging the pendulum and sending a shiver down my and Josie's spines.

It's a fight not to argue when Josie says, "Maybe another time."

Lucy nods.

She puts the pendulum down, and shifts uncertainly. "So, Missus Blue -- Lucille."

"Lucy," she says.

"Lucy," I say, so Josie can hear.

"Lucy. Right. I don't know how much Kaz told you, but we're recreating the Ouija board session from the Haunted Archivists video as best we can. Hopefully that will attract the attention of whoever they spoke to that night, since they thought it was you."

"It wasn't me," she confirms.

"It wasn't her," I reiterate.

"Right."

It's about time we get started.

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