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honeypiehotchner · 1 year

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Will you be my Valentine? (Hotch x Fem!Reader) -- one shot

Happy (belated) Valentine’s Day! This one shot turned out to be a lot longer than I was expecting, hence why it’s being posted today instead of yesterday 😭 (Also the first scene with Garcia is 100% inspired by a TikTok I saw and the idea just spiraled from there)

Summary: Each time a new member of the BAU figured out Hotch had feelings for you...and when he finally told you.

Warnings: tooth-rotting fluff babes. It’s vile how cute this is

WC: 3.6k

Everyone knew Hotch had it bad from the first day you started working at the BAU.

There was a case on your very first day, so introductions were sparse before you boarded the jet. You met with Hotch, and the two of you talked briefly about how things work in general, though he said you’ll pick most of it up from actual experience.

The case was in Arizona, and it was a long one. But it didn’t take long for Garcia to see right through Hotch.

“So, um. How’s it going with the new agent?” Garcia asked, twirling her feathery pen back in Quantico.

Hotch shrugged. “Why are you asking me?”

“What is that in your voice?” Garcia said. She grinned. Say it ain’t so, she thought. Hotch, the Unit Chief, having a crush? This is too good. “Oh my god, you think she’s pretty.”

“Penelope--” he tried to stop her, to tell her she had it wrong because that would be wildly inappropriate, plus, his thinking that you were pretty had nothing to do with--

“Oh, you totally do!” Garcia giggled, ignoring his protests because he was deep in denial. Finally! A crush! “PG out, lover boy.”

He shook his head as she hung up on him, but he knew the blush was evident on his cheeks. He could feel it, so he knew everyone could see it.

Even you, who walked in a second later to ask him a question.

You saw the red tint on his cheeks, but thought nothing of it as he steeled his face once more before listening to your question.

+++

A few months passed since you began at the BAU, and still Garcia was the only one privy to Hotch’s secret. He thought.

“Have a good night,” Hotch said quietly as he passed your desk. You were gathering your things to head out for the night.

“Don’t stay too late,” you teased, shouldering your bag. You noticed he had a fresh mug of coffee in his hand. “You need sleep too, you know.”

“I’ll try,” he said with a smile as he bounded the steps up to his office. “Sleep well.”

Rossi watched (and heard) this interaction from his office. He waited until he saw you disappear into the elevator before he knocked on Aaron’s door.

“Come in,” Hotch said, not looking up from the paperwork at his desk until he realized it was Dave. “Hey, heading out for the night?”

“Not yet,” Rossi said, sinking down into one of Hotch’s chairs. “So…what are your plans for the weekend?”

Hotch eyed Rossi suspiciously. Every time Rossi began with that, it meant one of three things: 1. He genuinely wanted to know what Hotch had going on this weekend, 2. He wanted Hotch to do something with him, or 3. He was digging.

Digging for what exactly, Hotch never knew. Until Rossi caved and outright asked.

“What do you think of Y/N?”

Hotch shrugged. He continued working on the paperwork to distract himself. “She’s doing really well. She adapted quickly. I’ve been very impressed. Strauss has too.”

Rossi hummed. “Well, that sounded rehearsed.”

Hotch looked up from the papers, giving Rossi a tired stare. “What?”

“I asked what you think of her,” Rossi repeated, smiling smugly. “Not how she’s doing at her job.”

“What’s the difference?” Hotch returned to signing off reports.

“Oh, come on, Aaron,” Dave sat forward, tapping the desk. “I’m not that dense. And neither are you. You think she’s cute.”

“She’s very pretty,” Aaron answered without hesitation, regretting it immediately because it only gave Rossi more ammo.

“I knew it,” Dave grinned, sitting back again and clasping his hands together. “Well?”

Finally, Hotch put his pen down. “Well what?”

“Are you going to do something about it?”

Aaron grimaced. “You make it sound like it’s a problem.”

“It is if you never tell her,” Rossi pressed. He had lectured Aaron many times on the dangers of never telling a woman how you feel about her. Especially when it was clear she felt the same way.

“It’s inappropriate,” Hotch said, reverting to his usual defense.

“You’re both adults, clearly capable of making your own decisions,” Rossi replied with a shrug. Aaron knew that Rossi was the reason the No Fraternization rule existed, but he also knew Rossi was the first to say how much bullshit that rule was ladened with. “I don’t see the problem.”

Hotch glanced back down, scribbled a signature on Morgan’s report and tossed it aside, opening yours. He paused. “For one thing,” he started, flipping open your folder. “I don’t know how she feels.”

Dave stared at Aaron, wondering if the man across from him was being serious. As it turned out, Aaron was.

“If you saw what I did earlier, then you’d know she does,” Dave said.

Aaron shrugged again. “She’s nice to me because I’m her boss.”

“She’s civil toward you because you’re her boss,” Rossi clarified. “She’s nice because she feels the same way you do.”

Aaron sighed. He knew Dave meant well, but it was exhausting to listen to him. Aaron wanted to say something to you, but at the end of the day, he was your boss, and you his employee. It didn’t sit right with him. And if he ever did say something, that would be the first topic of conversation. It was too complicated.

Not to mention, he had only known you for a few months, and all of that time consisted of work settings -- save a few nights at bars or restaurants with some of the team.

“Ah, I see,” Dave said, nodding slowly. He stood up to leave.

“See what?” Aaron asked before Dave made it to the door.

“You’re too far in your head about this,” Dave said quietly. “Once you get out, you’ll know what to do.” And he left.

Aaron stared down at your report, your perfect handwriting. It looked far better than his, and miles better than Reid’s. It was very clearly yours, too. It fit your personality.

He closed the folder. The rest could wait until morning.

+++

Not long after Hotch’s talk with Rossi, Morgan was the next to put the pieces together -- and say something about it.

On the jet returning home from yet another case, everyone slept, except Hotch, Morgan, and Rossi. Reid curled up on the couch. Emily and JJ fell asleep in their seats, and you had taken over two other seats to stretch out. No one minded. Morgan gave you his jacket, against your protests. Hotch wished he had given you his, but Morgan had beat him to it.

Morgan noticed Hotch watching you wistfully while you slept, looking up every now and again from his tablet to check on you. Hotch’s eyes shot toward you impossibly fast every time you moved, watching for a moment to be sure you were alright before he looked away again.

After watching this for an hour, Morgan moved from his spot by Rossi to sit in front of Hotch.

“Hey,” Hotch said, nodding to Derek. “Can’t sleep?”

Morgan shrugged, biting back a grin. “I got a cat nap in. You?”

“I’ll sleep better in my bed,” Hotch replied. “I’m a little too tall for these seats.”

“Yeah, you always looked scrunched up,” Derek teased, jokingly mimicking the position Hotch once tried to sleep in. He woke up with one hell of a catch in his back. “Can I ask you a question?”

Hotch looked up, suspicious and a little scared. “Sure.”

Derek opened his mouth to speak and you shifted in your sleep again, causing Aaron’s eyes to shoot over toward you. His eyebrows drew together as he watched you, waiting for you to settle back down.

By the time Hotch looked back over, Morgan was smirking.

“What was your question?” Hotch asked.

“That right there,” Morgan replied, lowering his voice a little just to be sure you wouldn’t catch any of it. “What’s goin’ on?”

“What?” Hotch asked, feigning innocence, but he could feel the heat rising in his cheeks, and the smile he wasn’t able to hold back. “I don’t, uh-- What do you mean?”

“You should tell her,” Morgan said, starting to grin. “You really should.”

What Hotch didn’t know is that exactly two days before this, you confessed your feelings to Morgan. Only because he caught you smiling at Hotch, and you knew he wouldn’t give it up. Also because you were starting to go a little crazy, holding it in. But you called it a stupid crush and said it would go away. Derek didn’t believe you.

“No,” Hotch said, but he kept smiling. “I can’t.”

“Why not?” Derek shrugged. “What’s the harm?”

Hotch stayed quiet, looked back down. He shook his head.

“Hotch, you gotta put yourself out there,” Derek whispered. “And you gotta do it before you’re too late.”

Hotch nodded slowly. He should’ve known you’d have someone else on your horizons. You’re much younger, far prettier than he ever thought to be real. No wonder someone else took notice. No wonder someone else was ahead of him.

“Seriously,” Morgan pressed a little further. “Valentine’s Day is coming up, y’know. Perfect timing.”

Hotch chuckled softly, shaking his head at Morgan’s wicked grin. “Alright.”

+++

Emily and JJ realized it at the same time you did, though you told yourself you were overthinking and making it all up.

Hotch had bought your coffee.

It didn’t seem that strange, or romantic even. You happened to be at a coffee shop down the street, waiting in line to order when Hotch got in line behind you.

The two of you talked while you waited. What a happy coincidence, both of you were there before work. Your heart fluttered with every word he said, every smile he showed and laugh he let slip. Even his jokes, you were flustered beyond belief.

And then he got your coffee for you.

He asked, and you were so shocked that you said yes. You couldn’t stop smiling and neither could he.

Truthfully, Aaron was over the moon. His heart was beating like crazy, and he wondered if you noticed his nervous laughter. (You did.)

When you got back to the BAU, walking in together caught Emily and JJ’s attention. Reid was in the middle of a book, and Derek was nowhere to be found (probably off with Penelope). But Emily and JJ immediately tuned in.

“Hey you two,” you smiled, walking around to your desk.

“Hey yourself,” Emily grinned, keeping an eye on Hotch as he walked up to his office, smiling to himself. “You’re in a good mood.”

“A very good mood,” JJ echoed, propping herself up on the corner of her desk. “You and Hotch got coffee?”

“Yeah,” you replied, thinking nothing of it. “I just ran into him at my usual place.”

Emily and JJ shared a look, raising their eyebrows.

“Just ran into him?” JJ asked, shrugging her shoulders.

“…yeah?” you laughed. “What about it?”

“Did he buy your coffee?” Emily asked quietly, biting back a grin. “That’s…” She cocked her head, giving you a look.

“It’s what?”

“It sounds like he likes you,” Reid piped up, eyes still focused on his book. “It was a romantic gesture.”

Reid had known for a while. He kept it to himself, though, because nine times out of ten, when he first picks up on these things, no one else has yet. And if he mentions it, it’s often invasive and people get defensive, because it’s something they don’t want to think about.

So, he’s kept it quiet. But he has noticed. And now it’s getting obvious.

Your mouth remained open in shock. Hotch? Having a crush on you? That seemed ridiculous. Impossible, even. He’s your boss, for crying out loud. Not to mention, older and…does he even date? He doesn’t talk about his personal life. You know he’s divorced, but that’s it.

“No,” you laughed awkwardly. “I mean, I buy my coffee for my friends all the time. I’ve bought you guys coffee,” you gestured to Emily and JJ. “It’s fine, right?”

“It’s fine,” Emily shrugged. “Yeah, it’s fine, it’s not anything serious.”

“Just a coffee,” JJ agreed, although both of them still didn’t fully believe you.

It was friendly, sure, but the kind of friendly that had romantic undertones and intentions.

But you didn’t want to think about that because it felt impossible. They were reading too far into it, that’s all.

It’s a running joke that joining the BAU is a death sentence for your love life, so it’s a regular conversation, that’s all.

That’s all, you told yourself. That’s all.

+++

The BAU rang in February with a new case, this one in Alabama. It took a week or so to solve, and by the end of it, you were all exhausted. Yet you needed to eat, so the team went out for dinner.

Somehow — you never really know how this happens — the conversation veered toward Valentine’s Day. Derek brought it up, purely because he and Penelope are planning to spend it together watching the worst rom-coms imaginable.

“I don’t know, it just kinda bums me out. I never look forward to it,” you said, expecting to be in the majority at the table, but you weren’t.

“What?” Derek said. “We’ve gotta change that.”

You smiled at him, though it felt like he was pitying you.

“Why does it bum you out?” Hotch asked earnestly.

You hadn’t expected him to say anything, let alone to ask you a question. “Because,” you started. “I guess I just see all these happy couples, and the cards and balloons and flowers and chocolates and it’s— It’s just too much to look at.”

“You know, most of the happiest couples on Valentine’s Day are actually struggling in their relationship,” Reid said, mid-chew.

“What statistics back that one up, pretty boy?” Morgan teased.

“Just an observation,” Reid shrugged, swallowing.

“I know,” you replied. “I know statistically — also just from experience — that they’re not that happy, but still. They still look it. And it’s, you know, it’s sad.” You paused, not wanting to finish your sentence but you knew you had to because you dug this hole for yourself. “Because…I know that I’ll never have that.”

“What makes you say that?” Hotch asked, his voice quiet with concern.

“Yeah, Y/N,” Emily said, her face sad as she shook her head solemnly. “You don’t know that.”

“But…I do.” Your smile was a soft, sad one born from acceptance. “I never have had it, and it just seems so unlikely for me. Besides, I don’t want to be pretending to be happy and in love. That would be worse than being single.”

“Not everyone is pretending,” Hotch said, his eyes soft.

“Maybe,” you shrugged. “I didn’t mean to take over the table, guys. Let’s— JJ, what are you and Will doing?”

The conversation went back into safer territory, as JJ told the table that her and Will would probably do something small after Henry went to bed. Or maybe a dinner, after Spencer offered to babysit.

“Yeah, or I could babysit,” you offered. “You guys should have a date.”

“Uh, you should too,” Emily said. “You’ll find someone.”

“Considering Valentine’s Day is in three days, I doubt it.”

The table was silent for a moment, but Rossi broke it. “You’ll find someone,” he said with his small smile. “You’ll see.”

You rolled your eyes. It wasn’t unlike Rossi to talk like a fortune cookie.

+++

Aaron wanted to throw up.

Well, he wouldn’t go that far, but he certainly was nervous. He didn’t even know if you’d show up.

But he waited. Inside the coffee shop, at a table by the window, he waited. The barista kept giving him this look, like she pitied him because it was Valentine’s Day and he was sitting at a table for two. Alone.

He texted you and asked if you wanted to grab coffee, but you hadn’t texted him back — yet. Still, he needed something to do today, so he came anyway.

Why did he give everyone the day off? He felt ridiculous.

What Aaron didn’t know was that a few miles away, you felt even more ridiculous.

“It’s not even a date!” you cried over the phone. “What the hell am I so worked up for?”

“Because you like him!” Penelope gushed. “And he clearly likes you. Oh, I knew it, I knew it, I knew it!”

You laughed at her as you worked your boots over your heels. “Relax, Pen.”

“I won’t!”

“Okay, well, I need to go because he texted like…an hour ago and I’m not even on the way. God, what if he’s already left? I bet he—”

“Shush! No more! You have a hot date and no room for self-doubt, now go!”

“Fine, fine, I’m going. Let me text him that I’m leaving— Penelope.”

Your heart dropped out of your ass. There, staring back at you, was your text message that you meant to send an hour ago. You forgot to hit send.

“I forgot to hit send!” you screamed, flying toward the front door. “I’m such an ass!”

“No you’re not!” Penelope yelled back. “Call him!”

“I can’t!”

“I will literally add him to this call right now if you don’t—”

“Don’t you dare!” You promptly hung up with her and called Aaron. “Come on, pick up. Pick up, please, pick up—”

“Hello?”

“Hi!” you sounded out of breath. “Hi, I’m so sorry. I’m such an idiot. I meant to text you back, but it didn’t send, and I know that sounds like a stupid excuse, but I swear it’s true—”

“Y/N—”

“If you’ve already left, that’s okay, God I feel so bad—”

“Y/N,” he said again. He sounded like he was smiling. “It’s okay,” he chuckled. “I haven’t been here that long.” He had. But you didn’t need to know that, because it was irrelevant. He would wait years for you.

“I’m on my way now, I swear to god,” you said, laughing a little. “Give me five minutes and I’ll be there.”

“Do you want your usual?” he asked.

Your heart skipped a beat. He knew your order. Your usual. “Yeah,” you said. “Please. Thank you.”

“No problem,” he replied, still smiling. “I’ll have it waiting for you.”

Relief. “You’re the best.”

By the time you made it to the coffee shop, Aaron did, in fact, have your coffee waiting for you. Along with your favorite pastry from their bakery. Today, it had a pink heart on it.

He stood to his feet when he saw you come in. You looked flustered, yes, but beautiful beyond measure. He didn’t know if he was going to be able to stop himself from fainting.

You felt the same way. Seeing him out of the suit never ceased to amaze you. He wore a nice black button down today with jeans. He still looked unbelievably handsome, his hair fluffier than usual, not as slicked down as he does it for work.

“What’s all this?” you asked, sheepish. A red rose laid across the table, your favorite pastry sat next to your coffee. It was all so…sweet. “Aaron, you didn’t have to…”

He shrugged. “I wanted it to be special.”

He sat down after you did, his stomach doing somersaults. He didn’t want to point you in the direction of his question so blatantly, but he was getting impatient. He just wanted to blurt it.

Before he could, though, you turned your cup toward you and saw the writing on the side. There, in Hotch’s unmistakable all-caps handwriting, was one question: Will you be my Valentine?

You gasped, then pouted, shocked by it all, but so, so happy. Deep down, you wanted this to happen, but you never let yourself believe that it really could or that it really was.

“Really?” you asked him, looking up from the writing.

He nodded slowly, a soft smile spreading across his lips. “I know you said you don’t like the holiday, but I thought you at least deserved to have a happy one. At least once.”

You didn’t know what to say. “That’s… That’s so sweet, Aaron, wow, okay. Yes.”

His eyebrows furrowed. “Yes what?”

You grinned. He’s so cute. “I’ll be your Valentine.”

“Oh!” he laughed. “Right. Sorry, I’m so nervous.”

“Me too,” you confessed. “I was on the phone with Garcia before I came-- She knows, by the way. She insisted this was a date, but I told her not to be delusional and-- Is this a date?”

“If you want it to be,” he said. “I’d like that.”

“I’d like that too,” you murmured. “A lot.”

“Would you like to…” his voice trailed away. “I am so bad at this.”

Instinctively, your hand reached across the table and rested on his. “No you’re doing great!”

He smiled, his cheeks flushing red at your touch. He turned his hand over and clasped his fingers around yours. “Would you like to do this again? I don’t want this to just be today. I’d like to…see where this goes.”

“Me too,” you breathed, so relieved you could almost cry. “I’d love that.”

“And,” he added, enveloping your hand in both of his. “Penelope was the first to know. She saw right through me.”

“When?” you laughed. It was hard to imagine Penelope Garcia cornering Aaron Hotchner on something like this.

“I think it was your first case,” he admitted, the blush seeming permanent on his cheeks now. “I guess how I spoke on the phone gave me away.”

“The first day?” Honestly, it gave you a bit of an ego boost.

He nodded. “The very first.”

“That’s…adorable.” There was nothing else to it.

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3rachaslut · 16 days

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hiii, so im a new follower but i LOVE your work so much its just *chefs kiss* 😣❤️

so im not sure if youve already done this or not, i haven’t gone that deep into a rabbit hole in your page yet lol anyways

i was wondering how you would think skz ot8 would react to reader having a belly piercing/a back tattoo?

really really love what you do ✨🤍🎀 MWAH !!!

hello lovely anon!!! it’s so nice to meet you🫂 stay a while i hope you enjoy the rest of my work ahh TYSM🥹🤍

okay let’s get it!!

SKZ X GENDER NEUTRAL READER🖤

mainly fluff, some are kinda suggestive.

bangchan

you drop your bags in the hall as you slump through the doorway and into you and your boyfriends shared apartment.

“hi baby” chan shouts from the kitchen. kicking your shoes off, you see him appear in your peripheral vision and soon you feel his hands wrapping round you. “long day?” he says as you nuzzle into his should and nodding your head.

“tired” you mumble into his t-shirt, instantly feeling more relaxed at the familiar smell of his purfume. “how about i give you a massage baby, hm?” a smile spread across his face as he admired your cuteness in your tired state. “yeah? okay. go get undressed and i’ll be there in a second”

you pretty much drop onto the bed just after you strip down and lay on your front, enjoying the feeling of the soft mattress underneath you. you hum in contentment.

“okay baby so i’ve got the oi-“ chan cuts himself off and you turn your head in confusion. “um.. when did you get that?” he says with a smirk on his face, clearly loving the new piece on you.

“a few weeks ago” you say, still looking back at him with a smug smile on your face.

“and i haven’t seen it?!” he exclaims, practically running to your bed and jumping over the top of you to admire your new decoration.

“you like it?”, the answer already apparent with the look on chans face. you chuckle and turn your head again to rest on your arm.

“i absolutely love it! darling it’s so beautiful”….

lee know

you feel your body shiver as you pull your shirt over your head and to the floor, your body involuntarily shaking like a leaf at cold air in the room. it had been a long night out with the members and you couldnt wait to get into your pjs.

“oh my- baby- ” you hear lee know say from behind you. it was a rarity that lee know was ever at a loss for words but you knew that your new tat you didn’t tell him about was a good contender at making it a possibility. you were right.

“yesss?” you tease, turning around to face him and walk towards the edge of the bed where he was sat, his jaw practically hitting the ground. you could see his approval of your decision by the tent that was forming in his pants.

“as absolutely stunning as you are, turn around again”. and you do, feeling particularly smug right now. “wow” he says and you hear him walking towards you. suddenly you feel his hand tracing along your back and you quickly struggle to keep your composure, your breathe hitching in your throat.

“y- you like it?” you mewl through jagged breaths at the feel of his hands roaming your back causing goosebumps to form all over your naked body.

“a lot. however.. i may have to punish you for not asking for permission before you got it..” lee know says and the words linger in the air between you two. you knew by the shift in the atmosphere just what was about to happen and a smile tugged at your lips. it was gonna be a long, pleasurable night and you knew by the end of it, your tattoo may not be the only new marking on your back….

changbin

“are you 100% sure you wanna do this y/n? i really don’t mind if you’re not, i’m more than happy just kissing you, you know that right?” changbin said with a panicked look on his face. you had finally told him that you were ready to have sex with him but since it was your first time, he wanted to make sure you were definitely ready.

“yes binnie, i am sure!” you said, a smile plastered all over your face which was soon reciprocated by your boyfriend. changbin raises his pinky to your chest and only when you wrapped yours around his did he take that as true confirmation. no matter how old he may be, a pinky promise was always sacred.

“okay” he whispers into your ear, working his way down, planting kisses down your neck to get you ready. your eyes flutter shut as you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as his hands make their way down your waist and underneath your oversized t-shirt. you open your eyes at the pause of his hands over you and you see his face is covered in surprise.

“what’s wrong?”. the words rush out of your mouth in panic but you begin to see the smirk tugging at the side of his mouth and your anxiety quickly dismisses itself.

“i didn’t know you had your beautiful tummy pierced?” he says excitedly. he lifts your t-shirt, eager to see it in person. he looks at your tummy and then back at you with such a huge smile on his face. he clearly approves. “wanna see more of you babe, like right now!”….

hyunjin

“my love?” hyunjin speaks from across the bed as you dangled your legs over the other side, himself propped upwards against the headboard and staring at you from behind.

“yes baby?” you reply. “when did you get such a beautiful tattoo?” he asks and you can hear the smile on his face through his words. you hear the bed squeak as he leans closer and the whispers of “aahs” from behind you.

“only a few days ago, it’s still quite sensitive” you say. “i won’t touch is then but wow it’s beautiful. beautiful tattoo for my beautiful baby” you blush at his words as you lean towards your console, flicking the tv on in the process. friday nights were spent by you and hyunjin both having ‘me time’, however you couldn’t ever bring yourself to leave each others sides. he drew and you played video games.

the rustling of pencil on paper was one of the most comforting noises for you as you had soon connected the noise to your boyfriend, hyune. after about half an hour, you felt the bed dip behind you and a tap on your shoulder. you turn your head in attention.

“what do you think love?” hyunjin whispered into your ear as he handed you a drawing of your new back tattoo. your mouth falls open and your eyebrows ruffle in utter disbelief at how beautiful the picture was and how much love you could tell was put into it.

“hyunnie it’s beautiful!” you say, your voice wobbly as you feel tears start to prick at your eyes.

“not as beautiful as you darling”…

han jisung

“turn over babe, let sungie spoon you” han says as he sniggers down your ear at the cringe that just came out of his own mouth.

“oh ji” you exasperate and let out a huffed laugh, rolling your eyes and turning around so your back is resting against hans also bare chest.

“oh- y/nah!!” he gasps and you jump slightly at the sudden loudness of his words. “pretty pretty pretty!” he says as he adores your new tat. “it’s so beautiful!” he says wrapping his free arm around you and swaying you both back and forth in your bed.

“you like it then ji?” you chuckle as he begins to trace the outlines of the black ink in your skin, the strokes on your back sending shivers all up you but han didn’t seem to notice. you hum in relaxation.

“i love it so much” he whispers down your ear as he continued to trace the shapes of your tattoo over and over again only ever stopping to plant kisses on the decorated area.

“not as much as i love you though”. he speaks softly down your ear as to not disturb your relaxed state.

“oh- are you sleepy?” he mutters and you moan as confirmation.

“okay, goodnight angel”

felix

“hey lixxxx” you sing, nearly running towards your boyfriend just as you got through the door. you practically throw yourself into his arms and he laughs contently.

“aww hi baby, what’s got you all smiley?” felix says, smiling as he runs his hand through your hair and planting a kiss on your head. “welll you know that thing i’ve been wanting to do for weeks now..” you say swaying side to side in his arms looking up at him. “yes- oh my god you did it!” he says just as excited for you as you are.

“yes! and look how pretty it is” you exclaim, eagerly lifting your t-shirt up to show him your new tummy piercing. he leans down to adore it too.

“your tummy was so beautiful before but nowww.. wow! , it’s so sparkly y/n!” he says with a huge smile on his face in reaction to your elation. “you’re so adorable i wanna just squish you” felix said as he lifted you off your feet and towards the couch. he gently plants you down underneath him and begins trailing kisses down your chest and towards your stomach. you hum as he kisses all over your tummy, careful not to catch the jewellery.

“my darling, you are getting more and more irresistible by the day”…

seungmin

“hey baby” seungmin greets, accompanied by an evening kiss. “you look gorgeous, have you been out? it was meant to be your rest day today” he says, plopping himself next to you on the sofa, the smell of his perfume lingering around you as he rests his head on your shoulder.

“maybeeee..” you say teasingly, leaning into him. “oh yeah?” his ears perking up in interest. “and where did you go?” he asks attentively.

“to get a new tattoo” you smile and the look of shock on his face is so comical you can’t help but huff out a laugh. “really?! oh my god let me see” he begs, his legs jittering in excitement. you turn your back to him and take your shirt off, discarding it on the sofa next to you.

“oh my- it’s beautiful” seungmin gasps in awe. “i love it!” you turn around to look at him. “no, i’m not done looking” he states, and you chuckle. turning your back to him once again, you feel his fingertips tracing the currently sealed skin and the pressure feels so relieving on the sensitive area you let out a sigh at the feeling.

“what do you think?” you ask, already knowing the answer. “you look so hot is what i think” seungmin replies. “but as much as i love it baby, i must ask, how long is it now until we can have sex?” seungmin says, his lip pouting and you giggle in response.

“you know minnie.. there are ways to have sex that won’t hurt my new tat?” you say insinuatingly, raising your eyebrows.

“go to the bedroom, right now”…

jeongin

“innie are you showering?” you yell from outside the bathroom door. “yes baby” he replies, shouting through the water pouring and the music blaring in the bathroom. you open the door and let yourself in, the misty air instantly making you warm. peeping your head around the shower curtain, you were greeted by his beautiful naked form. you will never get tired of adoring his body. “mind if i join you?” you ask, however already knowing the answer.

he responds with a smile and reaches his hand out for you to balance on as you climb into the bath tub. exactly as you did with him, he stares at your naked body up and down, admiring you. however, a gasp leaves his mouth as his eyes rest on your belly button. he looks up at you with a smile.

“i really fucking like that” he smirks, tilting his head back, rinsing the bubbles out of his hair. you move closer to him and run your hands up his waist. “like what innie?” you ask with faux confusion.

he slowly looks back down at you with narrow eyes, lifting your chin up to face him with his thumb and forefinger. “you know exactly what it is that i like” he says smugly, leaning in to kiss your parted lips. suddenly, his hands are roaming your stomach and you nearly melt into his touch. you can only whimper in response and you can feel him smile into the kiss.

“you drive me so fucking crazy y/n”…

a/n: sorry some of them are lowkey trash i really tried my best to make the scenarios different from each other but i hope i did anons request justice🤍

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spiderlandry · 9 months

Note

can you please do “there’s only one bed” trope with Ethan Landry and it’s pure fluff but reader and Ethan are just “friends”, pretty please and thank you 🩷🤗

i’ve always wanted to do a one bed trope but never really had a reason so here’s my chance! hope you like it anon :)) also this ethan gif is so cute i canMt i love him so bad im never getting over this man

100 follower event

warnings: tiny bit of angst/insecurity but it’s sandwiched between pure fluff, also sexual innuendos but not that bad

space — ethan landry

The car sputters to a stop, and you grumble, pulling over to the closest parking space. “Stupid piece of shit!” You yell at the steering wheel, taking your anger out on the horn, likely waking up any of the houses nearby.

Ethan had never seen you this angry, not even when your professor refused to give you an extension after you’d never handed in anything late. Then, you just got ice cream and your mood was alright. But now? He’s sure you’re going to rip his head off for breathing when you glare at him in the passenger seat.

“You told me…” you took a deep breath, trying to calm down. “…that your car was fixed, Landry.”

Oh, yeah. The said stupid piece of shit is his car.

“I—I thought it was,” He mumbles, shrugging.

“This is the fifth time it has broken down.”

“I know, I know,” he puts his head in his hands, ashamed. “I’m really sorry. Like, genuinely.”

There’s nobody on the road. You take a look at the time, and it’s almost three am.

“Fuck, Ethan.” You rub your eyes.

He tries to ignore something stirring inside him when you said his name. “Look, we can just get a motel. I’ll pay. And we can take a rental, or something. I’ll cover it.”

God, you think. He sounds like a kicked puppy.

You take another deep breath. “It’s not your fault, it’s fine. We can split it.” You soften, finally getting a glance at him and he looks like a kicked puppy with those doe eyes.

“O—okay,” he nods. “I’ll look up motels.”

There’s a moment of silence and while Ethan is focused on his phone, you take the time to admire him.

He’s pretty. Annoyingly pretty.

When you’d met him, he seemed intimidated by you. He couldn’t talk to you until you talked to him first. You wanted to be more open, be more inviting, but the friendship was progressing slowly. You didn’t mind, though. It was a good challenge. But being so angry definitely isn’t helping, so you try your best to calm down.

“I found one,” he says, head snapping up at you when he finally feels your gaze. You’re definitely mad, he thinks.

“Alright, let’s go.”

The man at the front desk doesn’t even look the least bit apologetic when he says, “It’s the only room.”

You turn to Ethan for guidance, not knowing what to do.

The only room. One queen-sized bed.

When he doesn’t answer, you turn back to the man again.

“Are there any other hotels or motels near here? Like, within walking distance.”

Ouch. Are you really that desperate not to sleep in the same bed as him? Ethan can’t help but take it to heart.

“The closest is two miles,” The man answers, almost smug.

Ethan can tell you’re trying not to do something drastic.

“Fine,” you sigh. “Give us the room key.”

Ethan speaks when you both reach the room, opening it and seeing the only bed in the room. “I can sleep on the floor.”

Your head snaps toward him, eyes wide despite your lack of sleep. “Does being in the same bed as me actually repulse you that much, Landry?”

As the two of you enter and close the door, he starts shaking his head profusely. “No! Why—why would you think that?” It’s literally the opposite of how he’s feeling. It excites him, and it’s worrying.

“Nothing, don’t worry about it.”

Nothing?! Why is that nothing? Do you think he doesn’t want to be around you?

There are only two pillows, and since you need them to sleep, you can’t even put one between you. He can read the unease on your face.

“Really, I can sleep on the—”

You hold you hand up and he snaps his mouth shut.

“Just. Just get in the bed, Ethan. I’m tired.”

Butterflies swarm his stomach at the prospect of actually getting in bed with you. You sounded so gentle. For a short moment, he imagines a world where you’re saying that because you have a home with him, sleep in the same bed every night.

He’s not aware of how true it will become in the future. He’s not even giving himself a chance to think about it.

He can feel your warmth radiating from your side. It's dark, you’re turned away from him, while he’s facing the ceiling unable to close his eyes, wanting to savor the moment.

You’re both under the same comforter. You’re inches away. God, help him.

“You’re awake, aren’t you?” Your voice is quiet, but he hears.

Should he answer? “…Yeah.” Well.

There’s a rustling beside him, and it sounds like you’ve turned your body toward him. He wants to do nothing more than turn on the lights and see your face as you lay there.

“Ethan,” you say. “Are you scared of me?”

“What? Why would I be scared of you?”

“You seem scared of me.” Maybe it’s the way the silence plagues you both, the darkness making it hard to see, that it feels easier to talk.

“I am scared,” he admits. “Just not of you.”

“Then what?”

“I’m scared that I’ll make myself look like an idiot.”

“What?” You almost sound scandalized. “In front of me, you mean?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“You can figure that out,” He wants to laugh, but his nerves consume him. You’re smart, he’s sure you’re just asking this to tease him, you’ve likely figured it out the moment you met and he stammered while saying his name.

It’s so quiet that he thinks you might have fallen asleep, but you surprise him by saying, “Can I touch you?”

What?! “What?!”

“It’s—!” You slap his arm lightly. “It’s not like that, perv.”

Now he actually laughs. He’s a bit more at ease now. So much that he has the courage to ask, “Are you suggesting we cuddle?”

“You can figure that out,” you reply, mocking him.

Instead of responding, he reaches out for you cautiously until he finds your waist. Where the hell did this confidence come from?

His hands are what you need to make that final step, scooting closer to him to encourage him to snuggle closer.

“Come here,” You whisper, almost scared to break the spell. “Closer.”

He clings to you like a koala desperate not to fall off a branch, and though it feels a little awkward with the amount of muscles he has, his head perfectly against your neck.

“I feel the same way, you know.” You stroke his curls, hands resting at the nape of his neck. He’d be purring if he were able to, he’s sure.

The next morning, you share a laugh when you both realize that you’ve switched places, and you’re now the one clinging to him.

#ethan landry x reader #ethan landry #scream 6 #scream 6 x reader #ethan landry fluff #scream vi #scream x reader #scream

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harlowsbby · 5 months

Text

Out Of Luck

Requested, Can you write something about jealous Jack? Or him being a bit overprotective.

“You know with you not talking to him it’s eating him alive.” Ace said as he joined you at the back of the tour bus.

You rolled your eyes and looked up seeing Jack already looking at you, the minute the two of you made eye contact he immediately turned away.

“Good, he should be upset the way he acted was honestly uncalled for and you know that Ace.” You told him and turned back around not wanting to be bothered.

Ace sighed and stood up and made his way back over to Jack who looked at his friend with a desperate and hopeful expression.

“So, what did she say? Does she forgive me?” Ace shook his head.

“Nope she’s still very much upset but I think you need to be the one to go over there and talk to her.” Ace told Jack.

“Why should I have to say sorry? I was just looking out for her.” Jack was just as stubborn as you at times the two of you would go weeks without speaking before apologizing to one another.

“What even happened man? I come back on the bus and she’s over there and you’re over here looking like you just lost your best friend.” Jack groaned and ran his hands over his face.

“I don’t even know I just let my jealousy get the best of me. It’s a long story.” Ace shrugged his shoulders and leaned back into his seat.

“We got lots of time so fill me in.”

flashback.

“Wait, wait you’re telling me that Apple Juice is more superior than Orange Juice?” The bartender asked in disbelief.

“That’s exactly what I’m saying and you can’t make me think otherwise.” You proudly stated and took a sip of your drink.

“But how? It’s so boring and basic.” He stated. “It is not! Apple Juice whenever it’s nice and cold it just feels so good it’s nice and crispy.” You explained to him.

“You’re insane there is no way Apple Juice beats Orange Juice.” He chuckled. “We can agree to disagree.”

“What is she doing?” Jack grumbled as he eyed down Joey and You.

“Looks like she’s making a friend which is normal so don’t do anything.” Urban told him.

Being on the tour bus 24/7 got a bit too much sometimes with everyone being all under one another a break sometimes was needed.

Which is why for tonight Jack suggested that you all go out and just have some fun, but Jack wasn’t having any fun instead he was sitting in the corner of the club sulking and pouting.

“She’s allowed to make friends I don’t own her but she isn’t making friends with that guy.” He told Urban and made his way over to you.

“I bet you $100 she’s gonna be ignoring him for a few days.” 2fo said as the two of them watch Jack make his way over towards the bar.

“I bet you $200 he’ll end up crying.” Urban said.

“I bet you all $300 that Y/N ends up making him take her out shopping or something as a form of an apology.” They all laughed because they all knew they were right.

“So what are you doing here? You’re just here alone?” Joey asked you and you shook your head, you went to answer but Jack answered for you.

“She’s here with me, her man.” He bitterly stated and put an arm around your shoulder, you sat there awkwardly because you already knew how this was going to end.

“Oh you must be Jack! I’ve heard a lot about you!” Joey smiled and stuck his hand out for Jack to shake but when Jack didn’t his hand slowly lowered.

“Well alright then, I’ll let you two be.” Joey gave you a small smile before going to the back.

“What are you doing over here? Why aren’t you with us in the section.” Jack asked you. “Because I don’t wanna just sit there I wanna walk around and mingle.” You stated.

“Okay well you can mingle with someone else that isn’t the bartender.” Your eyebrows scrunched up.

“Are you jealous or something? He wasn’t even doing anything to me, or is it me you don’t trust?”

He smacked his lips. “Now come on you know that isn’t true.” Jack said.

“Okay so why can’t I sit here? I wasn’t do anything.” You stated your voice rising slightly.

“I just don’t want you sitting with over here with him. I’m not stupid I know how guys think Y/N he was looking you up and down like a snack.”

You shook your head at him you were in disbelief that he’d even act this way, you get it most guys were dogs but you thought he’d have at least an inch of faith in you that you’d never cheat or whatever he thought was going to happen.

“Alright bro.” You spat and stood up. “Bro? I’m not your bro, don’t do that.” You turned to face him and rolled your eyes at him. “You just rolled your eyes at me?” He said with a raised brow.

“Oh, so now you wanna try and control my face? honestly what’s your issue last time I checked I’m grown. You say you trust me but it doesn’t look like it.” You told him your voice slightly rising.

“I do trust you baby but let’s talk about this on the bus though.” He mumbled and went to grab your arm but you pulled back.

“No, what now you’re embarrassed? Just say you can’t trust me. Or that you’re too overprotective or whatever.” When you didn’t get a response you already knew your answer.

“I can’t believe you Jack.” You stood up and made your way out of the club, the crowd that had formed faded away when you left.

flashback over.

“And now she won’t talk to me and I don’t blame her, I embarrassed her.” Jack groaned and tossed his head back.

Ace shook his head at his friend even though Ace loved the two of you what Jack did was very wrong.

“You know what you need to do Jack, put the pride to the side and go say sorry.” Jack nodded his head.

“Yeah you’re right Ace.” Jack stood up and made his way to where you sat.

The last thing he wanted to do was to make you ever second guess him or the relationship the two of you had. He knew he needed to make things right.

“Babe.” He said as he made his way into the little room in the back of the tour bus.

“Yes Jack?” You mumbled not even bothering to look up from your phone. “Can you look at me please.” He urged.

You placed your phone down and turned around to look at Jack, he had a frown displayed on his face.

“I’m sorry for the way I acted it shouldn’t have acted like that in front of all those people.” He told you.

“What was the reason though? You know I’d never even think about cheating on you.” You told him and patted the spot next to you so he’d sit.

“I just feel like one day you’ll leave me for someone who doesn’t have a as stressful or busy lifestyle. I love you and only you Jack.”

He smiled and laid down on the bed pulling you on top of him. “I’m sorry again baby, do you forgive me?”

You thought about it for a few seconds before a small smirk tugged at the corner of your lips. “I’ll forgive you under one condition?”

“Uh oh.”

time skip.

“What is this shit? The game is going to be on in ten minutes.” Nemo said as he walked into the tour bus with Urban, Ace and Druski.

“It’s mean girls it’s really good and it’s what we’re watching tonight isn’t that right babe?” You smiled and asked Jack as you leaned into him some more.

“That’s right babe I’m so excited to be watching all these chick flicks with you tonight.” He lied, the last thing he wanted to do was watch a bunch of girly movies.

“What? Are you kidding me or something? The cowboys are playing against the raiders.” Urban stated.

“So, we’re watching Regina George getting hit by a bus for right now.” You stated. The guys groaned but nonetheless took a seat around the tv together.

“Why are we watching this?” Urban whispered to Jack. “Because it’ll make her happy and she won’t be upset.” He whispered back.

“You’re so whipped.” Urban whispered back.

(writers block is kicking my ass but I hope you still love this anon and everyone else 💘)

#jack harlow #jack harlow concepts #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x reader #jack harlow x y/n #jack harlow x you

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sensivs · 8 months

Text

Mamaguro being a SLUT

Mrs.fushiguro x male reader

Cw// mentions of the reader being slightly darker/browner(but much more lighter readers r free to read), backshots, mentions of cheating (from both toji and mrs.fushiguro), unprotected sex, (somewhat) rough sex ((also this is my first time writing top reader so 🫡)), some praise here and there (for mamaguro), vaginal sex (this is also my first time writing a female character x male reader fic🙇🏽‍♂️)

Females/female aligned r free to interact just don’t be weird

After everything you’ve seen in a bar, never would you have expected to see such a petite woman sitting alone at a bar taking shot after shot.

She seemed to be in a bad mood, her tear stained cheek resting on the palm of her hand told you so. You walked over to her, catching her by surprise as you greeted her with a simple “hey”.

You took a seat right beside her, “so, what brings such a beautiful women to a bar?” You could tell that you flustered her as she turned her face away. “I.. I just found out my husband has been sleeping with other women..”

Your eyebrows furrowed, “aw.. you poor thing… how could anyone sleep around even if they have a beautiful women at home? He must be brain dead” you chuckled at your own comment.

Mamaguro turned her head towards you, “you really think so..?” “100 percent babe” mamaguro giggled, more red painting her peachy colored cheeks.

“How about I take you to my apartment and I really show you how beautiful you are?” Mrs. fushiguro’s eyes widened, her eyes beginning to sparkle. “O-of course! I’ll be happy to go!”

The moment you and mrs. fushiguro walked through the door of your apartment, you were on top of her, ripping off her tight shirt and her tight mom jeans.

“Ooh, what a pretty pussy we have here ay?” Your middle finger slipped between the folds of the petite woman under you, finding its way to her clit. Mrs. Fushiguro let out a small moan before burying her face in her arms.

“Please y/n.. put your fingers inside me..” she desperately said as she put both of her petite hands on your large forearm. “Don’t gotta tell me twice”

Two of your fingers easily slid inside mrs. Fushiguro, her husband must’ve been pretty big if it took more than two of your large fingers to stretch her. You added another finger, causing the woman to moan embarrassingly loud.

She slapped a hand on top of her mouth and moaned like crazy as you continued to pump her full of your fingers, sending her overboard with pleasure.

Just a few seconds into thrusting your fingers inside fushiguro and she’s already squirting into the palm of your hand. Her eyes rolled back into her eye socket, making her look like she saw a ghost.

You removed your fingers from fushiguro’s sopping pussy, her juices dripping down from both your fingers and her thighs. What a beautiful sight for sure.

You hurriedly took off your pants/boxers, wanting to feel fushiguro’s stretched pussy around your hard cock as soon as possible. The moment your cock was freed, it sprung into action.

You directed the tip towards fushiguro’s pussy opening, sliding it in with ease. Once it was fully in, you began to give her the fucking of a lifetime.

Her already loud moans seemed to get louder every thrust you gave her, you would surely get a very stern complaint in the morning by your neighbors.

“Damn.. your the most perfect woman I’ve met so far fushiguro” you said through huffs, you could tell this sent her overboard due to how she gripped onto your cock.

“C-CUmMinG!!” “Go on then mrs.guro, show me how much of a slut you really are when your husband isn’t the one pleasuring you” oh how pretty fushiguro looked when she came.

Her eyes rolled back, her tongue sticking out with drool dripping from the tip, a deep pink staining her pale cheeks, and sweat dripping down her temples.

You felt fushiguro’s squirt cover the base of your cock, causing you the release your load deep inside the woman’s tight pussy.

—

“Babe.. why is megumi darker than me..?” sweat dripped from fushiguro’s forehead, “uh..”

I had no idea how to end this

#male reader #jjk x male reader #fushiguro x male reader #male reader smut #top male reader #female x male reader

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onigiriico · 6 months

Text

Mikoto audio drama (t2) - English TL

[ links: Spotify | YouTube ]

Mikoto-ing again 🫡 I know I say this like every other post, but I 100% recommend listening to the audio alongside the translation! On one hand the VAs just did an amazing job on this, and on the other hand I also feel like it'll. probably make the switches more obvious than I can convey in text lol

Little disclaimer about the way I translated the DID terminology here: I know the correct term in English is "alter", but in the JP audio they're consistently referred to as "personalities" (人格 / jinkaku) while the closest Japanese equivalent to "alter" seems to be 自我 / jiga, from what I could find. I generally try to stick as closely to the JP terminology with my translations as possible, so I mostly went with "personality". I really don't want to offend anyone here so I hope that's a somewhat okay choice ahshbsdj

Okay. Okay that got lengthy. As usual, if you find any mistranslations, have questions, etc etc feel free to send me an ask or hit me up on Twitter where I drop by, like, once a month 😅 And now without further ado:

⬇️ translation under the cut ⬇️

(Es enters)

E: Mikoto…

M: Ah… Hi, Warden-kun.

E: You… are Mikoto, right?

M: Uh… What are you talking about? It really feels like it’s been a while, doesn’it? How have you been? – Huh? What’s that…? Chains? Oh, no. Take them off!

E: I refuse. You’re too dangerous. Physical restrictions are necessary.

M: Umm… (laughs) What are you saying, restricting someone who can’t even hurt a fly?

E: You really aren’t aware, huh…

M: Well, I mean… I do get it. I… go out of control while I’m asleep, right?

E: …

M: The others told me about it. How I got into a fistfight with Koto-chan and whatnot.

E: Seems like it, yeah.

M: I wonder if it’s like… some kind of sleepwalking…? After all, I’ve been losing sleep more and more often recently… Man… It’s really troublesome, isn’t it?

E: Mikoto…

M: The others are all scared of me. I can tell by looking at the way they act. Because I read the room.

E: …

M: It’s pretty tough, isn’t it? (laughs) Ever since I came here, so much has been happening that I don’t understand…

E: … You really… do laugh when you’re suffering, huh?

M: Huh?

E: You don’t get angry. You don’t scream. You laugh, like it’s a minor inconvenience.

M: Ah… I guess so. I might have that kind of trait.

E: …

M: Usually, if you just laugh and pretend, things work out in the end, right? I’m pretty good at that. Making things work out to the best of my abilities.

E: Is that so…

M: (laughs) …But… it’s not coming to an end. All of this. With things I’ve never even heard before, the whole ti—

E: …

M: —the whole time… I have to make all these irritating experiences…!

E: You came out, huh.

M: Hey. Looks like you haven’t gotten a beating yet, Warden brat.

E: …!

M: Hah? What, are you scared?

E: Like you didn’t get beaten by Kotoko…!

M: Hah. That was just because she caught me off guard. We went at it again while you were asleep, and it’s not like I lost there.

E: Multiple personalities… Am I right with the assumption that the you I’m talking to right now is another personality of Mikoto’s?

M: Well, I guess that’s about right.

E: I see. What do you want me to call you?

M: Huh? You’re accepting this pretty readily, aren’t you. Wouldn’t the whole multiple personalities thing normally raise some eyebrows?

E: Yeah. I also didn’t think it was real, at first.

M: Figures. If it wasn’t me, I wouldn’t believe it either. I’d just think it’s a lie someone came up with to get away with murder.

E: But Milgram acknowledges that [it is real] in your case. I simply accept that as the truth, and develop my thoughts from there. So? What do you want me to call you? Your name.

M: No clue about that. Just call me whatever.

E: … For convenience, I’ll be calling you John.

M: Sounds like a dog’s name.

E: It’s derived from John Doe, the name given to unidentified bodies. Do you like it?

M: Can’t say I’m very fond of the way you’re flaunting your knowledge.

E: … Anyway. You’re acting pretty calm today, aren’t you? I thought of you more like a monster of some sort. I wasn’t expecting to have such a proper conversation with you.

M: Don’t get cocky! If not for these chains, I would’ve beaten your face in by now, brat.

E: Ohh, scary, scary.

M: Hmph.

E: John, you are not a prisoner of Milgram. The fact that Milgram’s usual restraints are ineffective against you is more proof for that than anything. Milgram has judged that Mikoto is the prisoner, and you, as his alter, are an exception.

M: Huhh, I see. So that’s why you believe that there’s multiple personalities.

E: That’s why I thought I would try and talk to you as a key witness today. I’m rather glad that you’re being cooperative.

M: But, you know… This isn’t a good thing, probably.

E: What do you mean?

M: I (boku) might be trying to disappear.

E: …

M: Evidently, the time I (ore) have been fronting has been getting longer, so this “me” has been able to stabilize. Isn’t that the reason we can talk properly?

E: …

M: If I had stayed a monster… maybe that would be better.

E: …

M: What?

E: You’ve turned out to be much more rational than I expected… I’m surprised.

M: I’m a university graduate, after all.

E: (sighs)

M: As for alters… Why do you think they’re born?

E: In precise terms, it’s called dissociative identity disorder – generally speaking, [it refers to] when a person experiences severe pain or stress, and a new personality is created to try and isolate [the original personality] from the resulting trauma.

M: Yeah. I… probably come out to ease the stress Boku experiences. The fact that I come out for longer just means that Boku is constantly under extreme stress.

E: Stress… Namely the environment of Milgram, right?

M: Right. Especially the fact that you judged against forgiving Boku is causing a lot of stress. That’s why he’s entrusting me with his heart.

E: I see.

M: Not like I can blame him. From his point of view, he’s being blamed for a crime he can’t even remember.

E: If that’s the truth, then… you’re the one who committed the murder?

M: Yeah, it’s me. I killed them off.

E: …

M: So Boku really didn’t do it.

E: Can I ask… why you killed them?

M: They annoyed me.

E: Who did you kill?

M: Just someone who was walking around nearby.

E: … How many did you kill?

M: Can’t remember. I was first born back then, you know. It’s kinda fuzzy.

E: How can you talk about that so calmly?

M: (sighs) According to the law, how would this go for Boku?

E: With a psychiatric evaluation, there’s a chance of a reduced sentence, but depending on the number of victims… the death penalty might be inevitable.

M: …! I– I’m the one who did it! Boku was just sleeping!

E: Is this really something that works that conveniently?

M: Just put yourself in Boku’s shoes for a moment! He was bottling up all his stress! He kept dealing with it all by himself the whole time, until it exploded! It’s not like he just decided that he wanted to hurt somebody!

E: …

M: He’s not the type of person who could do stuff like that! He always looks out for others, always reads the room, always tries to get along with people around him! He can’t do stuff like that… He was on the verge of exploding! That’s why I was born. It’s obvious, isn’t it? Boku didn’t do anything!

E: Even if that’s true… Even if it wasn’t what Mikoto wanted – someone’s life was still lost.

M: …!

E: Even if it was you, John, who was in [your body at the time] – there’s no way for you to prove that. At the very least not in a way that would be accepted in court. It could still be judged that you’re pretending—

M: You…!! What do you think?

E: I…?

M: I’m the one who did it! Boku didn’t do it! You know that because of Milgram! I don’t care about the law, I want to know what you think!

E: …

M: Please… forgive Boku. I’m the one who did it.

E: … I can’t… judge that right away. It’s not something that I can easily decide to forgive. In fact, Mikoto’s mental footage was so violent… it’s unforgivable. That’s how I judged.

M: That could also just be a fake or owed to the multiple personalities, right?! Boku really isn’t at fault! I’m the one who killed them!

E: …

M: Are you really satisfied [with the unforgiven judgment]? He turned into a murderer overnight!

E: What you did could still be considered a sin, though!

M: …! … I think… I might be the person Boku wishes he was. The person who stubbornly stands his ground, who doesn’t cry himself to sleep from stress, who gives people their payback. If I, the “ore” personality, hadn’t been born, I’m sure Boku would have reached his limit and fallen apart.

E: John… you…

M: It’s true that I was the one who wanted to destroy everything… and the weakness of Boku, who couldn’t stand up for himself all alone, might have been the origin of that. But… that’s all there is to it. Is that a sin?

E: I’ll be considering that after this.

M: After talking to you, I get that you couldn’t forgive what I did. And I’m fine with that.

E: …Yeah. That’s right.

M: The one Milgram is supposed to judge is Boku – Mikoto, right. He’s not me – so, not John.

E: Precisely.

M: Please, forgive Boku. If you don’t… I’m sure he won’t be able to deal with this any longer.

E: “A sin committed by another personality isn’t a sin”... you’re telling me that’s how I should judge?

M: Yeah. If you forgive Boku… I’ll disappear.

E: …

M: That’s right. I’ll have to disappear eventually, anyway… Disappear, and take all of it with me. I… was born to protect Boku, after all.

E: You were… born for it…

M: Yeah. If it’s for Boku, I’ll… do anything.

(machinery whirrs, bell rings)

E: John…

M: W…what? A dog’s name?

E: Mikoto…?

M: Warden-kun, you own a dog? What breed? No, wait, let me try guessing first– A toy poodle? Actually, maybe you surprisingly prefer the ugly-cute kind… like a French bulldog!

E: … No…

M: A pug, then?

E: It’s not the name of a dog!

M: Ehh… Then what…?

E: … It’s the name of your… friend.

M: (laughs) I don’t know anyone like that~

E: … I bet you don’t.

M: Huh…?

E: Prisoner no.9, Mikoto. Sing your sins.

#milgram #milgram music videos #mikoto kayano #milgram mikoto #milgram es #translation #fan translation #I'm crying can't every Milgram vd be this quick to translate /hj

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plussizefantasia · 6 months

Text

Trick-Or-Treat

Flufftober Day 31: Trick or Treat

Bucky Barnes x reader

Word Count: 1.3k

AN: Here it is. The last one shot of October. Thank you to everyone who has left comments and reblogs you guys are awesome. I'll be taking a short break (like two weeks) and will be back soon with some more stories including a multi-chapter Steve Harrington x reader story and plans for the 100-follower celebration that we earned at the beginning of the month. As always, reblogs and feedback are really appreciated.

divider credit @royallaesthetics

Bucky Barnes didn’t think very much of himself. Which is a real shame, considering he’s one of the most amazing men you’ve ever met. You wouldn’t have moved in together if he was a bad guy like he thought he was. The two of you had moved into a two-story townhouse in Brooklyn three months ago. Bucky really wanted to get close to his roots, especially after everything that happened. Steve had moved into an apartment about a block from you guys but split most of his time between the Avenger’s initiative and being home.

“Jamie, could you help me move the couch to the stoop please?’

‘Why are we taking our indoor furniture outdoors?”

“So that we have something comfy to sit on while we hand out candy.”

“We’re handing out candy? I thought we were just going to put it in a bowl and leave it outside the door.” Bucky was confused, and more than a little apprehensive.

“Jamie. Love of my life, this is what people who have houses do. They sit out on their porches and hand out candy to children in mediocre costumes for two hours while trying not to freeze. It’s a rite of passage.”

“That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.”

“You’re telling me that you didn’t do trick or treat in the olden days?”

“First of all, don’t call them the olden days. Second of all, trick or treating wasn’t really a thing until I was too old to participate, and even then, people had more things to worry about than handing out candy.”

“Why don’t you want to hand out candy, Jamie?”

“Because… it will be cold.”

“You’re literally a human furnace try again.” You lifted one eyebrow at him, trying your best to capture the essence of Roger’s ‘eyebrows of disappointment’ that he had practically trademarked.

“Doll, I just don’t think it's a good idea.”

“Why not Jamie? I won’t make you hand out candy if you don’t want to but I have a feeling that whatever reason you have in your silly little noggin for not wanting to isn’t really a good one.”

“What if they hate me?” He mumbled.

“What if who hates you, baby?”

“The kids. What if the kids are scared of me.”

“James Buchanan Barnes. You are a hero, you fought to bring back literally half of the population of the entire universe, anyone who is scared of you is an idiot.”

“That’s sweet doll, but I don’t want to ruin anyone’s night.”

“The only person’s night who is a risk of being ruined is mine. I don’t know how I’ll survive without my human furnace to keep me warm out there.” You batted your eyelashes at him. “Please, Jamie? Just try, if you hate it you can go back inside but I think you’ll have a lot of fun.”

“Okay.”

“Yeah?” You didn’t try to fight the smile that spread from ear to ear.

‘Yeah, doll. I’ll hand out candy with you.”

Bucky wasn’t sure about any of this. But you had asked so prettily and his therapist (someone you had found for him, not one of the shitty government-appointed ones) had told him that he needed to start pushing his boundaries. He figured that spending the night next to you and watching you be happy was as good of a way to start pushing boundaries as any. He had pulled the couch out into the space that was right in front of your door. He had helped you climb over the back of it with a huge bowl of candy after you realized that the couch had practically trapped you inside. Now the two of you were waiting. The night didn’t officially start until 8:00 so you had about fifteen minutes to go.

“Jamie?”

“Hmm?’

“I forgot my phone.”

“Okay?’

“Jamie?”

“Yes?”

“Could you go get my phone?” He let out a deep sigh and one of those old man grunts as he pushed himself up off the couch and climbed over it. He walked further into the house and you took your chance. “Hey Jamie?”

“Yes, Doll?”

“Since you’re inside… could you make me some hot chocolate?”

“Doll, if you wanted hot chocolate you could’ve just asked in the first place you didn’t need to send me on a quest for your phone.”

“I did actually leave my phone on the counter so it’s not like I lied.”

As Bucky was making your hot chocolate, the beginning few kids started emerging from their houses, parents behind them bundled up to counteract the chilly October night.

You saw a few clowns, some kids show characters that you didn’t really know the name of, and some funny pun costumes that you laughed at. But what really caught your eye was the trio of boys four houses down from yours, making their way down the street.

They couldn’t have been older than eight but their costumes were impeccable. They really were mini versions of your three favorite guys. A mini Captain America complete with a homemade cardboard shield, a mini falcon with swim goggles and a plastic redwing, and last but certainly not least a mini winter soldier whose arm was wrapped in tinfoil.

You had to resist the urge to actually scream, but you did let out a few overjoyed giggles.

“Jamie! James come quick!” You yelled into the house.

“You’re hot chocolate is almost done.” He yelled back.

“Who cares about the hot chocolate this is way more important!”

He started making his way towards the open door, “What is more important than hot choco-” He completely stopped. Frozen in his place looking at the three little boys making their way up your steps. “Holy Shit”

‘Language.” You replied.

Bucky practically launched himself over the back of the couch to meet the boys,

“Mom! Mom look! It’s Sergeant Barnes.” The boy with the tinfoil arm turned with a bright smile on his face. His mom was nearly as frozen as Bucky, most likely not expecting to run into a retired superhero on Halloween night.

With a smack from you, Bucky released himself from his stupor. “Hey little man, what’s your name?”

“George, but everyone calls me Georgie.” He said with the confidence of a kid who had rehearsed.

“Well Georgie, that’s a very nice costume you’ve got there.”

“Thank you, Mr. Barnes, Sir.”

“Call me Bucky, please.”

“Okay, Mr. Bucky, sir.” Both you and Bucky chuckled at that.

“I think a costume as good as that deserves some candy what do you think?” Bucky looked at you.

“Definitely, I think all three of these young heroes deserve their candy.”

You placed a handful into the Captain’s bucket, and the Falcon’s but let Bucky grab the candy for his mini-me. He grabbed two large handfuls and winked at the kid as he placed them inside his orange pumpkin bucket.

“Would you be okay with taking a picture?” Georgie’s mom asked.

“Absolutely!’ Bucky replied and pulled all three young boys in front of him. Kneeling behind them and giving a genuine smile.

Once pictures were done the parents got the boys to say goodbye and move on.

“There are more houses to go to Georgie, besides, I’m sure Mr. Barnes would like to be able to give candy to some other kids.”

“Okay Mom,” Georgie turned back to Bucky, “Thank you, Mr. Bucky, sir. You’re my hero.” He turned back away and skipped down your stairs and onto the next one like he hadn’t just broken your boyfriend.

The rest of the night went pretty similarly, with the occasional Avenger costume and star-struck kid. Bucky posing for pictures and actually enjoying it and you handing out way more candy per child than their parents were okay with.

Bucky’s smile never faded and he seemed to get more and more into it as the night went on.

“Hey Doll?” He asked when the two of you had finally returned your couch back to its rightful place.

“Yeah, Jamie.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” You kissed him on the cheek. “You never did bring me my hot chocolate though.”

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borderlinereminders · 6 months

Text

I post a lot about self-soothing and working on needing reassurance. And while it’s important to do, it doesn’t mean that’s how it always has to be.

I try self soothing first. Sometimes with my best friend, I know my feelings at her aren’t her fault. It’s something small that’s triggered insecurity even though I know it’s not rational. And I try to deal with the feelings myself first. But sometimes I can’t. And it’s okay.

In these cases, I usually go to her. I’ll tell her “I know it’s not rational and it’s not your fault. But I’m having feelings about x, y and z”. If possible, I’ll tell her what I’m looking for (like reassurance).

She’s always very happy to offer me that reassurance. She knows that I’ve come so far and worked hard and if she can reassure me, she’s often happy to in order to make it easier for me.

I’m going to share my most recent example under the read more for a real life example of how I applied this.

But my overall point is that it is absolutely okay to ask for reassurance and sometimes you need to. It’s just important to do it in a healthy way.

A few weeks ago, she was overwhelmed and busy. I offered to watch her dog for her while she was working. I didn’t get a response back because she was thinking about it.

And then I found out someone else was watching her dog.

I felt a lot of confusing emotions. I felt angry. I also felt insecure, like she didn’t trust me. I was frustrated at her and the person now watching her dog. I felt jealous.

I used skills to try and cope with these feelings. I didn’t lash out at her. I tried using logic to suggest alternatives to myself. Perhaps it wasn’t personal that she picked someone else. Maybe it was for logistical reasons. It was probably just easier for her.

I tried to sleep on it, but the feelings were growing. No matter what coping skills I used. Sometimes, the coping skills don’t work to self soothe or talk myself through it.

I was feeling annoyed for small things and I knew that it wasn’t her fault. She hadn’t done something wrong. But I decided to talk to her about it. I didn’t want the feelings growing and causing issues and they weren’t going to sort themselves out.

Here are copy and pastes from our actual conversation :

Me: My explanation for feeling hurt is that **** told me she was taking Storm and I felt hurt because I offered twice and you didn’t respond at all to it. It made me feel like I did something wrong to break your trust. I am really emotionally sensitive right now and I know I’m having an *extremely* heightened emotional reaction to it but I can’t seem to let go of the bad feelings. And I know it’s not your fault. But also it just feels bad and I feel like I need to tell you about these feelings because I can’t let them go on my own. I could really use some reassurance.

Her: That’s so valid.

If context helps you feel less BPD, I was actually trying to figure whether to leave Storm at home or bring her to you but I needed to know my new start time at work with the new schedule before I’d know if I could make the timing work to drop her off with you after the ferry.

Then *** was sad about the breakup with *** and I offered to lend her Storm as an emotional support animal. I know she really struggles with being alone when she is sad. And I decided I could do without my dog temporarily. I can see how it would’ve seemed like I preferred having **** watch Storm.

But your BPD is very valid, I probably would’ve felt the same way under the circumstances. I hope you have a great day and I hope you know I love you. Also that I think you’re great with dogs and would have 100% wanted you to watch Storm this week.

( The name of the person watching her dog are blacked out for privacy reasons.) While she didn’t need to share the context, she chose to do that so she could better offer reassurance. I also want to point out that she validated my feelings. My emotional reaction was heightened but she still validated me. She also then offered reassurance for my specific concern (that I wasn’t trusted). She was patient and understanding. I was valid to need reassurance but her reaction to it was super valid and why it felt so safe to seek reassurance from her.

#personal #Gorlfriend the biked #I don’t know why I’m rambling today #but here we are

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profound-imagination · 3 months

Text

Before You Go - Fenrys Moonbeam

A/N: I’m so freaking proud of this fic I hope you love it! Also I’ve tried my hand at a lil smut so please feel free to give constructive criticism!

T/W: Maeve, Smut, Vision of Maeve & Fenrys, Angst, Death - I think that’s it! Let me know if I’ve missed any!

W/C: 5K

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

100 Years Ago:

“You did what?!” You seethed at the White Wolf who was looking anywhere but at you. “I swore a blood oath…to Maeve.” The words hit you like a physical blow and tears lined your eyes. “Why…why would you do that?” You asked, swallowing the lump in your throat. He looked at you then, his face shuttering as he took in your unshed tears. “For Connall, the things she makes him do, Y/N, I can’t, I can’t allow it.” You sighed, heart breaking as you looked at the Male in front of you, your mate. Not that he knew, if he did he hadn’t told you, just like how you hadn’t told him. “He’ll resent you for taking his place, Fen, he came to visit, while you were gone with your elite force, he seemed happy.”

You’d grown up with the twins, your parents serving under theirs but there was always something about Fenrys, something that pulled you in. They were five years older than you and you’d put it down to a school girl crush. Connall hated it. He didn’t speak to you for 2 years after he confessed his feelings for you on your 18th birthday. You had just looked helplessly at his twin and he had known then, had understood there was something unspoken between you and his brother. It infuriated him. Connall had always felt lesser than his twin, who was favoured by their father and now by you, it seemed. “I can’t let her have him like that, Connall deserves a true and pure love, not this.” You scoffed, “What, so it’s better for you to be her whore instead?” You spat, his eyes hardening at your words, “Tell me, will you be allowed to leave her chambers? To be the warrior you always wanted to be or will you be leashed to her bed like the dog that you are?”

Anger rolled off of him in waves as he took a step back from you, “That’s enough.” He said quietly but you were so past trying to understand his reasoning. “Maybe he loves her, Fen? Did you think of that?” He scoffed this time, “Even if he does, she doesn’t and won’t ever love him back, she’s incapable of it.” You put your hands on your hips, “So what now? You’ve come to say goodbye? Tell me I’ll never see you again?” His face softened as your voice cracked. “You’ll see me again, but yes, I came to say goodbye.” Anger was still coursing through your veins as you said, “You better go then, your shackles on her bed are waiting. Goodbye, Fenrys.” You turned and walked away, you didn’t look back.

85 Years Ago:

The first ten years without the twins, without Fenrys, had been hard. You’d lost your parents to one of Maeve’s many wars, the twins' parents only just making it back themselves. They had taken you in, despite the fact you were an adult and your own parents had left you more than enough. It was like their mother knew this would be the final blow for you and she refused to let you fall into your despair. She’d moved you into Fenrys’ room, “So you’re here when he comes back,” she had said, “A mate's presence heals most things, even if they're not physically here.” You didn’t know how she knew nor did you ask at the time as you crawled into his bed and slept for days.

Fenrys sent everything he was feeling down the mating bond unknowingly. You could stop him from feeling your feelings which you’d been actively doing since it snapped for you but you couldn’t block his. The hatred, the anger, the sadness, the submission, the pleasure. It made you physically sick. Sometimes, when his emotions were particularly high, you saw it all as well, through his eyes. You’d never forget that first time.

Maeve on top of him, her naked form grinding in his lap. “What’s the matter little pup?” She taunted from above him, “Performance nerves?” He was panicking, you could feel the panic coursing through him, the dread that if he didn’t perform she’d bring Connall in here instead. She scraped her nails down his chest, “You really are pretty for a dog, Fenrys.” She crooned, rolling her hips again, “I can help you enjoy it and perhaps eventually you’ll learn to enjoy it on your own.” She leant forward and kissed up his neck, her canines scraping as she went, disgust shot through him as one hand wrapped around his throat and the other slid towards his cock. “Enjoy it.” She whispered seductively in his ear, “You want me, Fenrys, you want this.” She sucked on his earlobe and the disgust started to dissipate, replaced by lust. “You want to fuck me, to satisfy me.” She continued as his cock stiffened in her hand. She dragged herself up his body, until she had a leg on either side of his head. “Go ahead pup,” she crooned, “eat.”

You witnessed the whole thing. She had ridden him until she was satisfied and when he was spent she sent him away like he was nothing. The last thing you saw when Fenrys opened her chamber door was Connall on the other side, betrayal like nothing you’d ever seen written across his face. You’d thrown up until your body had given out and you moved out of his room and his parents house the next day.

This went on for ten years until you’d had enough, you couldn’t take it anymore, feeling what he was feeling, witnessing it. You had amassed the funds your parents had left you and ventured to Doranelle, for an audience with the Queen. You smoothed down the skirts of your dress as you waited to be called into her throne room. Fenrys was here and nearby, you could feel the bond coming to life and singing that its counterpart was close. A guard approached and nodded for you to follow him, so you took a deep breath and did just that. It’s for the twins, you told yourself over and over again as you rounded the corner and took in Maeve sitting upon her stone throne, two wolves sat either side, one white, one black, both of their ears shot up and their eyes widened as they took you in. A white tailed hawk sat above her right shoulder, a massive Osprey sat above her left. In one of the alcoves close to the throne stood the biggest male you had ever seen and another male with golden hair and tattoos.

“You asked for an audience?” Maeve asked, her voice sounded bored and uninterested. You bowed as low as you could before speaking, “Yes your majesty, thank you for granting my wish.” You said, your voice sounding stronger than you felt, she waved a hand for you to continue. “I have come to ask if you will allow me to buy the wolves out of their servitude? They are needed at home but of course majesty I understand they are of great importance to you so I offer all that I have, including myself, in their stead.” Maeve tilted her head in consideration. Connall was staring at his queen, but Fenrys, Fenrys was staring at you, a sadness in his eyes, a desperation telling you to take back your offer and run.

Maeve tipped her head back and laughed, she laughed like you had told the best joke she had ever heard and as quickly as she laughed, it ended. The Fae Queen leveled you with a look, “No.” You stepped forward, Connall bared his teeth and let out a warning growl that shocked you to your very core. “But, I-“ the Queen cut you off, “I said no, like you pointed out, girl, they are of great importance to me and this one,” she said, placing a hand on Fenrys’ head, “He pleases me ever so well, so no, girl, I’ll keep them both, leave.” Your mouth dropped open and Maeve sighed, “Lorcan, see our guest out.” The giant of a male stepped towards you and Fenrys whined his protest, “Hush, pup, get upstairs.” Maeve commanded and you were escorted out with a feeling in the pit of your stomach that you’d made everything worse for him.

A knock woke you from a fitful sleep. You hadn’t even made it to your bed, you had passed out drunk on the sofa and you winced as the wine bottle rolled off of you and smashed on the floor. You’d deal with that in the morning you decided as you stumbled to the door and flung it open. A fae male with long silver hair and face tattoos stood on the other side, along with the golden haired male from earlier. “So she’s sent you to kill me then?” You asked as you turned and walked into the kitchen, leaving the door open for them to follow. “Drink?” You asked, pouring yourself a whisky and sliding the bottle and two glasses over to the other side of the table where they now stood. “I won’t fight you for my life,” you told them, “There’s nothing left of it anyway.” You said gesturing around the house.

The silver haired one snorted as he took in your home, “Wow, you really aren’t doing well without him are you?” The golden haired one hissed as he elbowed his friend, “Rowan!” He scolded. “I’m sorry, Y/N, I’m Gavriel and this is Rowan, we aren’t here to kill you, we’re here to help, sort of.” You raised an eyebrow, “Help? With what?” You questioned, “You feel him don’t you?” Rowan asked, “We can teach you to block him out, so you don’t feel him if you’re too much of a coward to tell him he’s your mate.” You crossed your arms over your chest, “You’re an asshole.” You told Rowan, Gavriel nodded his agreement, “An asshole I might be, but I’m trying to help you, do you know what she would’ve done if she realised what you were to him, to both of them?” You shrugged, “It isn’t fair that they are chained to her like that, it’s not fair to any of you, loyalty should be earned, not taken.” Gavriel sighed, “Let us help you.”

So you learned from them, well, from Rowan mostly, over an exhausting couple of days. Gavriel kept himself busy fixing whatever needed fixing in the house and tidying up so you had somewhere presentable to live. “Oh and one more thing,” Rowan said as they turned to leave that evening. He turned, producing a letter out of his satchel and you instantly recognised the scrawl on the envelope. “Keep those shields up, Y/N.” He said before walking out the door. Gavriel smiled kindly at you, “For what it’s worth, I think he regrets it, leaving you, everyday.” You sighed, “I was so mean the last time I spoke to him, I was angry and I didn’t mean any of it.” You said quietly, “I think he knows that too,” Gavriel said, “but I’ll make sure to tell him.”

You smiled at him softly, “Why did you both come to help me?” You questioned, Gavriel glanced outside and then back to you, “Rowan’s pregnant mate was murdered & I walked away from my mate and child because of the fear of Maeve, we don’t want the same for Fenrys, we’re quite keen on the pups and somethings Y/N, somethings are worth fighting for.” With that, he took your hand, kissed your knuckles and left.

You slid down the front door, pulled your knees to your chest and ripped open the letter Rowan had given you. There was such anger in Connall’s words, at you, at his brother. But there was also sorrow and a plea for you to never step foot in Doranelle again.

You spent the following weeks wondering if you’d be betrayed, but no one ever came for you.

50 Years Ago:

Gasping quietly you dropped the dishes you were washing in the sink with a splash, the bubbles splattering up your apron. You threw open the door to Rowan and the tall male you hadn’t met yet. “What happened?!” You snapped as you took in Fenrys hanging between them. “Move!” The tall male hissed as they shoved past you, “Clear the table!” Rowan commanded, panic seized you as you swept the table with your arm. “What happened?!” You snapped again and Fenrys groaned as they placed him more gently than you’d expected on the table. “He’s been testing the leash, stupid boy.” Your eyes snapped to the tall male, “Sorry, who the hell are you?” He didn’t even look at you as he grunted, “Lorcan.” You looked back down at Fenrys, “She did this to him?” Rowan looked at Lorcan who shook his head but Rowan answered you anyway, “Connall did.” Anger flooded through you, “Connall?!” Fenrys let out a wet, labored cough, “No,” he croaked. “She commanded it,” Lorcan drawled, “But he didn’t seem to hesitate or fight it.”

You watched quietly as the two warriors worked on Fenrys. Your entire body was tense. Fenrys had passed out 30 minutes ago, a blessing you supposed, that he couldn’t feel what they were doing as they were putting him back together. A shadow outside the window caught your eye and you stalked out the door. “You’ve got some nerve.” You spat at the Black Wolf who was sitting at the tree line of your property. “How dare you turn up here?!” With a flash the Black Wolf was a Male prowling towards you. “He’s my brother, I need to know if he’s okay.” You scoffed, “You did this to him!” You exclaimed, stepping up to him. “I didn’t have a choice!” You rolled your eyes, “They said you didn’t even hesitate or try to fight the order!” You watched Connall’s eyes shoot over your shoulder and then back to you. You felt Rowan at your back. “Are you here for you or for her?” He asked, his voice tight. “For him.” Connall snapped. Rowan nodded and beckoned him to follow. You huffed and followed the two males into your home, the tang of blood in the air.

They’d moved him to your bed when they’d patched him up. You had sat next to the bed, back rigid. Your eyes watching the steady rise and fall of his chest. Around 3am his eyes cracked open, finding you instantly in the darkness, “Am I dead? Is this heaven?” He rasped. You rolled your eyes, “No, you aren’t dead, they brought you here.” He nodded weakly. “Where are they?” He croaked, you handed him a glass of water, “Lorcan and Connall went back, Rowan’s flapping about outside.” You told him and he huffed a laugh then winced. “Stop it.” You scolded him.

You’d brought him some food and stuck your head out the door to let Rowan know he was awake before returning to Fenrys. “How are you feeling?” You asked, “Why are you doing this? Helping?” He asked at the same time. “Because it’s you and I’m an idiot.” You muttered quietly. “It was stupid of you to come to Doranelle.” He said, “I’m not sorry.” You snapped. “Your brother nearly killed you today, he didn’t think twice about it, he just obeyed.” Your voice cracked and tears welled up in your eyes. Fenrys sighed, “It’s the blood oath, he didn’t have a choice.” You gave him a scathing look, “Get some rest.” You said, voice sharp and you turned to leave. “Hey?” You turned to face him, he held his hand out towards you, “Come here?” He asked, patting the space next to him. The bond was screaming at you to do so, to join him, to not leave him injured and alone in your room so you caved and crawled in next to him. “You know I love you right?” He asked into the darkness of the room. “Yeah, I know.” You answer, heart cracking because you knew he didn’t mean it how your entire soul craved him to mean it.

Now:

“What are you doing here?!” You span at the sound of his voice. “Fighting? We got the call.” You gestured at the battlefield that surrounded you. “You can’t be here!” He snarled, “Well I am! You snarled back. “Pup! We’ve got to go, you can fight with your girlfriend later!” Rowan shouted as he landed next to you, “Hi, Y/N.” You smiled at him, “Aedion is injured, get up to the battlements and see where you can help.” Rowan told you, you nodded at him and took off, Fenrys shouting after you.

You clung onto Aedion, tears in your eyes as Gavriel stepped through the gate. You’d grown to love Gavriel, he’d visited you every time he traveled past your home over the years, always stopping in for a cup of tea, you had your suspicions that he was reporting back to Fenrys but he’d become your friend either way. “Let him go, Aedion.” He fought against you, “He’s doing this for you, the only thing he feels he can do for you.” So the two of you watched as the Lion of Doranelle stood his ground as the gate shut him out.

It was over. It was won. You’d watched from the battlements as Fenrys delivered the killing blow to the tyrant Queen. Had watched them morn Gavriel from the outside while you quietly mourned the Wolf that was no longer with you. Aelin had approached you in the garden one evening, as you sat amongst the flowers, watching the sun disappear, talking to Connall as if he could hear you. “You’re staying.” A fact, a demand from your Queen, not a question. You looked up at her and she smiled, “Rowan’s not so good with the secrets.” You laughed as he huffed behind his wife. “He’ll need you.” You gave her a kind smile, “I doubt that, but if it’s what you wish for, your majesty, I will stay.” She gave you a look that said she knew she was right and turned to leave, “Actually, with your permission, there’s something I’d like to do.” Tears welled in Aelin’s eyes as you told her what you wanted, Rowan approached and smiled and put a hand on your shoulder, “I think that’s a wonderful idea.” He said, Aelin nodded her agreement.

Fenrys found you a week later. “What are you doing out here?” He asked, approaching you in the Royal Graveyard of Terrasen. You were knelt in the dirt, hands covered in it. Flowers surround you, Zinnias for remembrance and goodness, Yellow Carnations for friendship and gratitude, Violets for faithfulness and devotion, Anemones for protection and sacrifice and Daffodils for rebirth and hope. “He mentioned you had become friends over the years…” he trailed off, realising that it wasn’t Gavriel’s grave you were kneeling in front of. You looked at him over your shoulder, and then moved aside to reveal a gravestone, that simply read:

Connall Moonbeam

Brother

Friend

Beloved

Black Wolf of Doranelle

A raw, broken sound left Fenrys as he crashed to his knees at the sight of his brother's grave and you were there, next to him, holding him. “I thought it would be nice if we had somewhere we could talk to him.” You told him quietly as he sobbed into his hands. “He visits me in my dreams, the first time was the night he died. He came to me and told me what had happened. That you needed me. I set off the next day to find Aelin, to help however I could.” Fenrys fell into you, sobbing into your neck. “He kept me safe, when I slept rough, he’d tell me to wake up, to move.” You kept talking as Fenrys calmed slowly, “He had things left to say to me, we both cried as he told me he’d loved me once but he knew, had always known I’d belonged to his brother, that I had to find you, that you’d need me, that after everything, he’d get me to you safely, the last thing he could do for you.” You ran a calming hand down his back, “He had a message for you, he said he loves you, more than anything, he forgives you for everything and he’s sorry for his part, he said that it was meant for you, the dagger, but it was too far and he couldn’t allow it.” Tears were running down your face by the time you finished speaking. “If I could change it, if I could take his place so he could be here with you, I would, in a heartbeat, Fen.”

Fenrys remained quiet for a long time after you had told him everything. He clutched your hand like it was his tether to the earth. Finally he looked up at you, his onyx eyes meeting yours and you saw the exact moment he felt it too, the bond. You watched it wash over him, watched him figure out what it was he was feeling. “You…you’re…” you nodded at him, “Yes, I am.” He blinked, “How long have you known?” He croaked and you let out a humorless laugh, “A long time, Fen.” “How long?” He repeated, “Since before you swore the blood oath.” You admitted, “You’ve known for over 100 years that we’re mates and you never said anything?!” You opened your mouth to reply just as Rowan and Aelin approached, “We’ve all known Boyo, it was fairly obvious.” Aelin elbowed her husband. “You’ve done a wonderful job on Connall’s grave, Y/N.” She said, “I’m sorry I never got to know him.” She said to Fenrys, wrapping him in her arms. “He’d have loved you.” Fenrys mumbled and you and Rowan laughed your agreement.

Over the following weeks Fenrys started coming around more and more. Getting to know you again he’d said. You’d cried as Aedion swore his oath, took his birthright and Fenrys had laughed at you, wiped your tears and held your hand for the rest of the ceremony. “Dance with me?” He asked as the Coronation Ball went on and on. You smiled up at him and took his had, allowing him to lead you to the dance floor and into the first dance. Your body fit against his in the best of ways and from what you felt, he knew it too. It was on your third dance that he seemed to throw caution to the wind and his hand left your waist to cup your face as he brought his lips down to yours. It was like the world had gone silent. He pulled you impossibly closer to him as his kisses descended down your neck. “Let’s get out of here.” He spoke against your neck, “Please?” You begged him. He smirked at you as he pulled you towards the doors.

The two of you only made it a few corridors at a time before you were swept up in kisses and touches again. By the time you were halfway to his room, you realised, he was carrying you, your legs wrapped around his waist, dress up around your hips, his hands on your ass, groaning at the feel of it, of the feel of your teeth against his neck. “Fuck it.” He growled three corridors away from his room as he pinned you against the wall with his hips and pulling the top of your dress down. He groaned as he took in the sight before him and ground his hips into yours causing you to moan. He lowered his head, kisses starting at your neck, trailing down to your chest where he worshiped each breast and nipple, the sensations causing you to writhe against him.

“Can you be quiet for me?” He asked, pulling away from your chest. You nodded eagerly as he sank to his knees, anticipation tightening in your stomach as he threw your legs over his shoulders, his head disappearing under the skirts of your dress. Kisses began traveling up your legs, “No underwear?” He mumbled more to himself than to you as his mouth neared to where you wanted it the most. His tongue licked a broad stripe and you jerked at the sensation, letting out a loud moan. “What did I say about being quiet?” He teased as he head appeared from under your skirts before going right back to where it was before. Your fingers scrambled for something to grab onto and settled for the of your dress that was covering his head as he sucked on your clit, waves of pleasure zinging up and down your spine.

“Please, please, please” you were begging as that familiar coil started to tighten in your stomach. “Please what?” He asked against your clit, the words vibrating beautifully. “Tell me what you want love?” He asked, nipping at your thigh. “Make me cum, Fen, please I’m so close.” You whimpered as he started his minstrations again. Two calloused fingers pushed into you and you threw your head back into the wall, his lips still sucking at you. “Plea-“ your begging was cut off as his fingers curled and hit that perfect spot and the coil in your stomach snapped and you and the world fell apart as your orgasam ripped through you. He kept going, drawing it out as long as he could.

His smirk was feline when he emerged from your dress and set your shaking legs back on the ground. You threw yourself at him so hard he stumbled back into the opposite wall as he caught you. You began attacking his neck with kisses, teeth scraping along his throat as you pulled his shirt out of his trousers and tried to undo the buttons. “Take me to bed. Now.” You breathed against his ear and he froze. Completely froze. His arms dropped away from you and his whole body was ridgid. You pulled away from him, realising quickly what had happened and your heart threatened to disintegrate at that haunted look in his eyes.

“Fenrys?” It was like he couldn’t hear you. Whatever memory of Maeve he was reliving had trapped him and you weren’t sure how to get to him. You had just began to panic when Chaol and Yerene walked down the hallway, “Get Aelin, now!” You snapped at Chaol as Yerene stepped towards him. “Don’t!” She stopped dead and looked at you. “I don’t know what he’s reliving and how he’ll be when he comes out of it, you’re with child.” You said more gently and she nodded in understanding, “Go with Chaol, bring Rowan too!” She nodded as she ran to catch up with her husband. “Fen, please, come back to me.”

Footsteps rushed down the hallway and then Aelin was there, Rowan next to her. Lorcan behind him. Chaol and Yerene behind him. You knew you didn’t fit this picture, this group. So you watched, back against the wall Fenrys had just had you against as the Queen of Terrasen pulled your mate back after you had failed to do so. His eyes cleared and darted around the hallway, he smiled down at Aelin and Rowan clapped him on the shoulder. Lorcan, Chaol and Yerene departed back to the ball as the Queen and King spoke with their Emissary, their friend & you turned and fled. You had done that to him, you were no better than Maeve.

“I don’t know how to do this.” You sobbed, “I don’t know how to be what he needs.” The gravestone didn’t answer. “I wish you were here, Con.” You told him, “It’s not right without you and I keep messing everything up.” You let out some more sobs as Fenrys’ haunted face flashed through your memories again. Twigs breaking behind Connall’s grave had your head shooting up & there he was, your White Wolf. “I’m sorry, Fen, so unbelievably sorry.” You told him as he prowled over to you.

He approached, studying you and your tears, then licked a great stripe right up the side of your face, which caused you to snort in disgust and then laugh. Fenrys huffed out a sound that you assumed was as close to a laugh as he could do as a wolf and then he curled himself around your back, and a contented rumble left his chest as you leant back on him. “I’m sorry I put you back there, I’ll be more careful with my words next time.” You said quietly. He huffed again, nuzzling his face into your side, a feeling of warmth, thanks and understanding filled your chest and you knew it was him. “Can we stay out here with Connall tonight?” You asked, he nodded and put his head down on a massive paw, leaving the other for you as you curled up into his fur. “I love you, Fen.” You mumbled sleepily, “I have for most of my life.” You felt the moment he shifted, arms wrapping around you and pulling you into his chest, “I love you too.” He said, kissing the top of your head.

Connall Moonbeam smiled down at the sight of his twin brother and his best friend, curled up together by a grave that he was not in. It didn’t matter, they had honored him with it anyway. They continued to honor and remember him for the rest of their lives, especially on the day their son was born and they gave him the name Connall Gavriel Moonbeam. Gavriel clapped a hand on his shoulder as he walked away from him, into the arms of the mate he’d been missing for so long. Connall smiled down at his brother and his family one last time and followed Gavriel and his mate into the light, there would be no more dream visits, he had nothing more to offer his friend, besides, he’d see them both again some day.

#fenrys moonbeam x reader #fenrys moonbeam #throne of glass #crown of midnight #heir of fire #assassins blade #queen of shadows #empire of storms #tower of dawn #kingdom of ash

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trblsvt · 1 year

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★ my favorite lyrics + seventeen

pairing | ot13 x fem!reader genre | angst, hurt comfort (?), fluff (if you squint?) warnings | references to sex/suggestive, swearing, situationships! ALSDKJ, toxic relationships, actual breakups, heartbreak, and relationship angst, cheating/infidelity (?) in one section (it’s a first date, but someone gets distracted), alcohol consumption min | lowercase intended. and honestly i say fem!reader but i don’t think i used any pronouns that indicate gender identity. (keeping the tag to stay safe). some (most if not all) of these songs came from my top 100 songs of last year. and most of these are kind of sad... sorry

choi seungcheol “you're scared to be lonely, 'specially in the night. i'm scared that i'll miss you, happens every time” - die for you by the weeknd

you just didn’t get it, he thought to himself. you were looking for something that he couldn’t give you, or something he didn’t know how to give you. he couldn’t stop thinking about the way your eyes were welling up after he told you that he wasn’t trying to gain anything else from the relationship.

“so this is all i mean to you? just a thing to use when you’re bored?” you asked, quietly. it appeared that had taken every ounce of fire out of you.

of course not, he thought. i’d do anything for you.

“yes,” he confirmed. why did i say that? he thought again.

“get out of my house, choi seungcheol.”

ouch. you knew he hated being called his full name, especially by you. he remembered when you did it jokingly and he held that stupid pout on his lips for almost two hours. (that is until you went over to him and planted kisses all over his face).

he didn’t understand what was so wrong with what the two of you had going on. he thought you were happy. it worked out great. together, but not actually together. after the first time he spent the night, he realized how strong his feelings for you were. they were so far beyond anything he had ever felt before. now how was he supposed to explain that to you.

“no,” he said simply.

“i don’t want to see you anymore, seungcheol, so leave!” you yelled at him. “i’ve wanted more from you ever since i met you, but now i can see that’s something you’ve never wanted.”

“that’s not true.”

“then tell me, seungcheol! what am i missing? because you just told me i’ve been nothing but your plaything while i was putting my heart in your hands.”

“i’m scared that i’ll miss you too much.”

you froze.

“i’m so scared that if i give myself to you, the way you deserve, it’ll just hurt more when you realize that i’m not the one for you. i can barely think when i’m away from you. i don’t think i’ll be able to breathe if i’m actually with you. i miss you so much just when i leave after every night. i don’t know how to give you what you want. i don’t even know where to start. i’m sorry.” he didn’t know when he started crying, but he was. he diverted his gaze to the floor. his heart wouldn’t only hurt more if he looked at you. his heart would hurt and he’d only miss you more when you told him to leave again. so he was surprised when he felt your hands come up and wipe his tears away. “then try,” you mumbled softly. “try.”

yoon jeonghan “and the funny thing is i would've married you if you'd have stuck around” - doomsday by lizzy mcalpine

there you were. as beautiful as the day when he last saw you. you were just sitting there reading at a table in the local cafe the two of you frequented when you were together. “jeonghan?” you asked, standing up from your place.

shit. was he staring?

“hi, ___,” he finally responded.

“i knew you looked familiar,” you laughed, and he wished he could keep it forever. “i see that you’re growing your hair out again, it looks nice.”

“thanks.” he would never change his hairstyle ever again.

“come sit, it’s been a while.”

so he sat.

he sat and he listened as you talked. how you finished your degree. how you finally bought an apartment that you actually liked. how you got that dog you always wanted. how you got promoted at work. and how you had a great new boyfriend, and that said boyfriend was meeting you in the next fifteen to twenty minutes. “so what about you, jeonghan? how’s work? how’s joshua? i bet you have all the ladies after you,” you joked.

he could say it. he could say that he was still so deeply in love with you. he could say “i love you” over and over again to make up for the times when he didn’t. he could say that he wanted you to break up with your boyfriend. he could say that he hasn’t been able to find someone else without comparing them to you in every way possible. he could even say that he wished every night that he was the one in your dreams in the same way you were in his.

yet, he didn’t, not after what he did. it would be wildly inappropriate to tell you that, especially when you seemed so happy without him. so all he said was, “oh you know me, pretty average. it was really nice to catch up with you.”

you gave him a look, and he somehow knew he was busted. “i don’t hate you for what you did, jeonghan. know that, alright? we were both a bit too immature for one another. i would’ve married you in heartbeat though, even if it meant you left me with all your broken pieces,” you sighed. “i loved you, jeonghan.”

loved.

“and i’m certain you will find someone who loves you as much as i did you.”

but i love you.

“thank you, ___. truly,” was all he said, but wasn’t what he wanted to say.

hong joshua “and i'd leave you, but the roller coaster is all i've ever had. yeah, it's one step forward and three steps back. do you love me, want me, hate me?” - 1 step forward, 3 steps back by olivia rodrigo

“clearly i’ve wasted my time my time on you,” you finally said. that shut him up. “you can’t possibly mean that,” he stammered, but the blank look on your face told him otherwise.

“i can’t be the only person invested in this relationship, joshua!” you sighed.

“who said you were?” you scoffed at that. joshua had been wildly absent from your relationship, opting to hang out with friends playing basketball, eating out, watching movies. really doing anything except be with you. “well it sure fucking feels like, joshua,” you grumbled.

“what did you say?” he sounded angry, but the look on his face looked more confused than anything. damn his face. damn that perfect smile. damn those kind eyes that kept you crawling back to him even if he stood you up for the third time that week. “i said it feels like i’m the only person putting anything into this relationship. when you told me that you wanted to go beyond just fucking i really believed you, and i was actually excited about getting to put an actual label on whatever we had. but now, i don’t fucking know how to act around you. you stood me up at least three times last week, and i-”

“what do you want from me, ___? i showed up tuesday night and we watched all the movies you wanted, didn’t we?” he interrupted.

unbelievable.

“yeah, and then when you said we could hang out on friday night you suddenly ditched me. not only that, seungcheol told me you guys went to play basketball on friday and proceeded to go out to dinner afterwards,” you huffed. “it’s like we make some sort of progress in this - this - whatever this is - and then you do something that sets us back!”

“god, do you need to be with me all the fucking time. you’re so clingy,” he grumbled under his breath, but you heard him.

“clingy? i’m only upset because you said you were going to be there. you said you were free and that you wanted to hang out. i’m upset because you don’t even give me the simple courtesy of saying ‘oh hey i’m sorry something came up’ or ‘i actually can’t, i had plans with the guys.’ but no, i don’t hear anything from you. to think i actually love you. fuck you, hong,” you spat, grabbing your things and heading out his door before he could stop you.

“wait! love? you love me? ___!” he called after you, but you were over it. despite how much it hurt your heart to leave behind his stupid laugh, his stupid music taste, and his stupid eyes that you’re quite sure you probably won’t get over.

ironically enough, that was the first time you said “i love you,” and probably the last.

wen junhui 请快回来想听你说说你还在 “please come back quickly, i want to hear from you that you are still there” - unbreakable love by eric chou

he knew you were sick of waiting around for him. work was hard and so was maintaining a relationship. a lot harder than he thought it was going to be. when he began going away for extended periods of time you always called or texted when you were about to go to sleep or when you woke up in the morning.

then he started going away more.

he was around less.

couldn’t call you back as often as he once did.

then you started contacting him less.

the messages that held the run-downs about your days became infrequent and then rare. he reached out too, but calls and messages were brief. he began wondering what he was even trying for anymore. his friend, minghao, began to notice this. he noticed jun frowning at his phone more, or he looked more anxious by the end of the day like he was running late to something.

he knew you were probably busy. he couldn’t expect you to wait around for his calls, but his brain told him otherwise. it told him that maybe you were tired of waiting around for him.

he was sitting in minghao’s hotel room eating some lame takeout for the nth time this week. minghao could tell that jun was not focused on his meal or in the conversation they were having. “you should probably just call ___,” minghao suggested.

“what if, what if it’s a bad time?” jun countered, a weak defense.

“just call, wimp. worst case scenario: leave a voicemail,” minghao shrugged.

“fine. see you tomorrow.”

“you owe me for the food.”

“yeah, yeah.”

jun made his way back to his own hotel room and pulled up your contact. “just do it,” he grumbled and pressed call. he sat down on his bed as he listened to the ringing. on the fifth ring you picked up. there was loud music in the back with muffled voices. “jun? hey, babe,” you yelled.

“hi, ___. i was just checking in to see how you’re doing. i’m coming back home next week,” he sighed, feeling a bit more at ease.

“that’s great, junnie! i’m looking forward to it.” you sounded absentminded. “am i interrupting something?” he asked.

“oh, well, it’s my friend’s birthday party and she’s going a bit off the rails. can i call you back later?” you explained as lightly as possible. you knew how he got about this kind of stuff. “oh yeah, totally. you should’ve told me earlier, i don’t want to interrupt your fun. have fun,” he said pulling the phone down from his ear, not hearing how you paused and tried to call out to him.

so you do have better things to be doing. he understood. you were your own person, but it had been so long since he had even spoken to you. maybe you didn’t want to wait around anymore. then he saw all the posts that you shared of you out having fun, without him. you looked happier. he dwelled on it for longer than he should’ve.

he dwelled on it for another three hours and then his phone rang. he picked it up without looking at the caller id. “hello?” he answered.

“jun, are you okay? you hung up so abruptly back there. i just got back home,” you asked, you sounded concerned.

“do you still want to be with me?”

“what - yes. why would you ask?” you sputtered. never once did you have a doubt in your relationship with jun. you understood that it was hard, with him being away and all, but you would always be around to wait for him. “i don’t want to make you feel like you’re waiting for nothing. i leave for weeks, come back for one, and leave for three more,” he sighed. “i don’t want to weigh you down.”

“do you think a little distance is going to break us, jun?” you chuckled.

“i don’t know! just either be there when i get home or tell me you can’t wait around any longer,” he cried. it was disheartening to hear him like this. you never wanted anything more than him. the type of love you had with jun was beautiful and it would cross seas if necessary.

“i’ll be here for as long as you want me, jun. now, come home quickly. i miss you.”

kwon soonyoung “you only call me on the weekend. you only love me when we freakin'” - the weekend by bibi

you were trying to slip out unnoticed. soonyoung had passed out essentially right after the two of you cleaned up. he had insisted that you should stay the night. you tried to refuse, but the way he looked so tired and sweet when he basically begged you to lie down in his arms.

and you were weak, so you did.

except, when he fell asleep in the crook of your neck you were still wide awake. you heard his phone going off and being nosy you looked to see notification after notification from his other hookups, and you were suddenly reminded why you were in the first place. you needed to leave.

you tried your best to maneuver your way out of his grasp. you were slipping on your socks when he stirred. “where are you going?” his voice worn.

“i have an early day tomorrow, i need to get back to my place,” you lied.

“liar.”

“excuse me?” how in the world could he possibly call you on something when he was half asleep?

“you’re running. just stay the night. it can’t hurt.” oh, but it could. the question was: would it hurt more to tell him or to just keep the arrangement as is? before you could weigh your options, your mouth had already taken over. “it would hurt,” you said. “it already hurts.”

“what hurts? did i- did i do something wrong?” he asked, sitting up suddenly interested. you knew what he was thinking. “not in the way you’re thinking, soonyoung,” you smiled. “it hurts because throughout this whole agreement i accidentally caught feelings for you and it fucking sucks. because while you’re out hooking up with other people, i can’t even bring myself to hookup with another person because i think you’ve ruined me.”

“___-” he began, he looked apprehensive.

“i know. i know this wasn’t what we agreed on, and i know you’re not looking for anything right now. i just like you so much, and every time i look at you, i just wonder why you can’t just like me back. i’ll just go. i can’t do this anymore, soonyoung. i’m sorry.” you sighed.

“i am too,” he replied quietly, and he genuinely was.

jeon wonwoo “one day i will stop falling in love with you. some day someone will like me like i like you” - let you break my heart again by laufey

you often borrowed wonwoo’s things. from hats to jackets to random necklaces you found around his apartment, everything was fair game. sometimes you would forget to return them and wear them out. wonwoo never complained or tried to steal the clothes back from you. he liked them better on you anyway.

one day his friends noticed. it was just a house party where you had been teasing wonwoo all night about his less than average kart rider skills. you had taken his glasses off and placed them on your nose. “look at me i’m wonwoo and i suck at kart rider,” you imitated his voice puffing out your chest and bumping into his shoulder.

“hey, i need those,” he chuckled, squinting at the tv in front of him.

“yeah, yeah, i know. they look better on you anyway,” you grumbled, delicately placing the glasses back on his nose. “i’m going to get a drink, you want anything?” he shook his head, and you got up.

“wonwoo, isn’t that your coat?” mingyu casually asked as he sat down next to wonwoo on the couch. wonwoo didn’t even really process what mingyu was asking, but answered, “oh, the one ___’s wearing? yeah.”

“so, does this mean you two are finally together?” mingyu pressed.

“uh, no. it just means i like sharing.”

“just like how you like sharing your glasses,” mingyu scoffed. “bullshit.”

mingyu got up and walked over to where you were chatting with some of your friends. wonwoo wanted to act like he was paying attention to seungcheol absolutely demolishing him and chan at kart rider, but he was only focused on you.

he knew he didn’t stand a chance against the other guys you had been going out with for the past few months. he knew that you were probably better off with a guy like mingyu or something, and when he saw you chatting with mingyu he knew he couldn’t even begin to compete. in your eyes, he was just your cute best friend that did you favors all the time.

“you know, i think you should really un-friendzone wonwoo,” your friend giggled.

“i agree,” mingyu piped in.

“please, wonwoo’s just my friend,” you chuckled, glancing over at the dark haired man sitting on the couch. “plus, i already have a date this weekend.”

it was true. you did have a date lined up. it was about the fourth new guy this month. none of the people you’ve been meeting had actually clicked after the first date. which was a bit disheartening since you’ve been trying to date for a while.

the only constant in your life was wonwoo. he’s been with you since high school, and the two of you quickly rented an apartment together when you two decided to attend the same college. it was a nice set up, and you appreciated his companionship. he was there for every high and low of life, and didn’t complain if you were a mess most of the time. he was just there. a great friend.

as wonwoo and you walked home, he admired the way you looked at everything around you. the stars in the sky or the flowers that lined the windows of some apartments. it was comfortable with you. “you have a date later this weekend?” he asked quietly. you hummed in response.

you were a little too busy watching your surroundings to see wonwoo’s face fall a bit. he would watch you go off on these dates every so often, and nothing came to fruition for most of them. if they did, they were quite short lived. although it broke his heart every time you overlooked his hinting gestures, he would always be there to help you get ready and pick up any broken pieces. he’d be there at your door with a cup of coffee for you in the morning or he’d give you the space you needed if you asked. whatever you asked of him, he would do because he’d let you break his heart as many times as you wanted and he’d still come back. after all, he was your best friend.

he just wished that someday he would finally leave the feelings he harbored for you behind, and he could find someone who loved him the same way that he loved you. even if it wasn’t you.

lee jihoon “feels like we had matching wounds, but mine's still black and bruised and yours is perfectly fine now” - the exit by conan gray

jihoon was jihoon. you were you. there wasn’t any way around it. you had met him at a bad time, that’s all you could say about it. it probably wasn’t the best idea to start hanging out as much as you did. you knew that, and so did he. yet, you two did, and it was nice while it lasted.

“i just thought- i just thought we could continue seeing each other,” you grumbled. you weren’t sure what you were expecting out of jihoon. he was always a bit, emotionally reserved.

“i mean, why would we?” he asked, blinking slowly at you. of course he would ask that. “you didn’t think we were actually like dating, right?” he asked.

well no.

you and jihoon had established a mutual distaste towards labels, but now you regretted not putting one on what you had with jihoon. “i mean, i didn’t. i just thought-” you trailed off. what did you think? that maybe by the time he figured out his shit, you would have figured yours out too. or maybe that he would’ve noticed your growing feelings towards him.

“look, ___. you have been a greater help than i could’ve ever asked for. i was, well you know, just out of a long term relationship that ended well, badly. you were with me through every step of the healing process, and i will forever be grateful for you,” he said, taking a step closer to you.

“yeah, you- you really helped me too,” you mumbled, you couldn’t help the tears that were forming in your eyes.

“___? why are you crying?” he asked.

“no reason, jihoon,” you sniffed. there was a perfectly good reason why you crying, it was just a bit too embarrassing to tell him when he obviously didn’t reciprocate your feelings. maybe you got attached to jihoon to easily, someone who was obviously emotionally unavailable. maybe you had a type.

things had ended badly with your ex, and you feared that things would end horribly with jihoon before they could even begin.

maybe he would say you were too clingy, too needy, too this that and the other thing. was wanting to be loved such a bad thing?

all you really wanted was for him to notice you, but it appeared as though he was too focused on healing himself that he had left you behind without as much as a band-aid.

lee seokmin “and though it's fading with time, i remember the warm nights with love in your eyes. passing the days, watching rains as it dries, staring at your eyes i know it's the time” - less and less by matt maltese

a ball of sunshine. that’s how you described lee seokmin. you always grabbed his face in your hands and just looked at him, and he’d let you. then he’d giggle or something and you’d smile while you memorized every aspect of his face.

but now, but now, he couldn’t even look you in the eye, not after he heard that you didn’t really care to see him anymore. it was weird to overhear from one of his friends who still kept in touch with you. apparently he would be too much of a distraction or something to that effect. he knew the chances of reconciliation were already slim, but just knowing you didn’t really want to see him at all hurt. it wasn’t necessarily a bad or messy break up either.

a mutual friend of the two of you had just gotten engaged, and they were having a celebratory dinner. seokmin had the feeling that you were going to be there, but he couldn’t skip out on this just because his ex would be there. that would be - sad.

you were chatting casually with one of the other dinner guests, and you looked as beautiful as ever. “seokmin? are you even listening to me?” soonyoung whined next to him.

“you’re drunk, soonyoung. i probably shouldn’t listen to anything you say,” seokmin chuckled, pushing on his obviously drunk friend. soonyoung whined and threw his head back against the wall that was behind his chair. “___ looks nice tonight,” he commented. seokmin nodded in agreement.

he stole another glance at you, and that was when he met your eyes. god, those eyes. the same kind ones that he looked into every night before you said your goodnights and i love yous. you offered him a small smile and he reciprocated it as best as he could without it hurting his chest too much.

he found himself stealing glances at you when you didn’t even bother to look over. he wished he could sit next to you and hold your hand. kiss your cheek like he used to. should he profess his undying love for you even though you had broken his heart over six months ago? would that be appropriate?

by the end of the dinner, seokmin had slung soonyoung over his shoulder and was bringing him out to his car parked nearby the restaurant. “seokmin, why don’t you ask ___ out again?” he grumbled as seokmin dragged him into the passenger seat. the smell of alcohol reeked on his breath as seokmin buckled his pouting friend in. soonyoung continued, “you two were so good together. so cute. you were so down bad for ___.” seokmin sighed. he knew that already.

he looked at you like you hung the moon, and he genuinely believed that you did. your soft kisses on his cheeks and warm hands around his were nice, but they weren’t enough. as much as he wanted them to be, they just couldn’t be enough.

“seokmin?” he heard your familiar voice float into his ears and shot up instantly, hitting his head on his car as he tried to escape the clutches of soonyoung. “oh, are you okay?” you giggled.

“yeah,” he said, standing upright and rubbing the back of his head. and there the two of you stood in silence. oddly enough, it wasn’t as awkward as he thought it was going to be. there was a dull pain in his chest when he looked at you. “look, i just wanted to say it was nice seeing you tonight,” you said. his heart soared, but the pain hurt. “it was nice seeing you too,” was all he seemed to muster before he turned around to check on soonyoung.

you must’ve thought he was trying to get out of the conversation because the next words you said sounded rushed. “i want you to know that i don’t hate you,” you said.

he froze.

“i mean, i know you heard about what i said about not wanting to see you. that’s not what i meant,” you sighed.

he nodded dumbly.

“i just- i know we didn’t end things badly at all. it was actually quite nice. i said that after we broke up and i was still a bit upset, i guess. i thought that if i saw you, i would just hurt all over again. i just wanted to stop hurting. i should’ve considered that you might hear about it and misunderstand, and i’m sorry about that.”

silence.

“i’ll always want you in my life, seokmin.”

“i’ll always want you in mine too,” he finally said, and he felt like he truly meant it. he knew that he wouldn’t be in your life like the two of you had planned, but just hearing that you wanted him - needed him - to just be there was enough.

he had all those times that you looked at him with such love and affection that he didn’t care how he was in your life. he just needed to be in it. he had the memories how you kissed him. how you hummed songs while lounging around the house. how you would wrap your arms around him while he was cooking. how you held his hand when your car broke down in the rain.

you would remember the way he just admired you at a distance. how he cried when he forgot to water your plant when you left town for a trip. how he brought you flowers when he knew the ones you had were dying. how he sang in the shower. how he laughed at all of your jokes. how he grabbed your hand and kissed it just because.

now you stood so close to him, but so far. he wanted to hold you close to him, feel your hands on his face, hear your laugh, kiss your lips, anything and everything. all it would take would be a couple of strides and he would be close enough to smell the perfume you put on for the evening.

but something in him kept him from doing that. he looked at you. the look in your eyes wasn’t the same as when the two of you were together. something else was there. admiration, respect, unconditional love. something in your eyes told him it was time to let you go. he would always remember you and all the moments you shared, but he needed to let go of what he had. let it fade until all that remained was the dull ache in his heart.

“i’ve missed you, ___,” he said meeting your gaze.

you smiled, “i’ve missed you too. please don’t be a stranger.”

“i won’t.”

the pain in his chest was still there as he watched you leave, but he supposed that it would always be there.

kim mingyu so i can't love you even though i do 밀어내 봐도 난 너를 못이겨 “so i can't love you, even though i do. i try to push you away but i can't beat you” - invu by taeyeon

this was wrong. he knew it. you knew it. he was on a first date with mutual of one of his friends, and he only agreed because he needed to get his mind off of everything, off of you. it should be easy, nice laid back dinner date. it had been a while since he had been on first date, but he couldn’t be that bad at this whole first date thing.

apparently he was pretty bad at it.

“mingyu,” you gasped, as he grabbed onto your waist. “where are you taking me?” he didn’t say a word. something in his blood boiled when he saw you sitting with your friends at the same restaurant he was at. he quickly excused himself from the table and made his way to your table. your table was conveniently located on the way to the bathroom. he turned his head to make sure his date wasn’t looking, luckily his date’s chair was facing the other way, so he could get away with snatching you away from your friends.

you barely had time to process what had happened. you sensed someone rushing toward you, but you figured it was just a waiter. suddenly you were pulled out of your seat and there was a familiar arm wrapped around your waist. “mingyu, what are you doing?” you demanded as he pulled you into the single-bathroom and locked the door. “i was having dinner with my friends.”

“and i was having dinner with a date, but here we are,” he scoffed.

“you’re on a date, and you dragged me in here!” you yelled. “mingyu, you’re unbelievable. you should be on your date. this is incredibly rude of-”

“do you miss me?”

“what?”

“do you miss me?”

“not in the way you want me to.”

that seemed to do it for him. he pressed you against the bathroom wall and kissed you in the way that took your breath away. “mingyu,” you gasped in between his kisses. you felt the way he was holding onto you, it was pure need. “mingyu, we- we can’t. your date,” you breathed as your hands found purchase on his shoulders.

“fuck my date. i’m only on that date to stop thinking about you,” he admitted.

“mingyu-” you began to pull away from him.

“stop calling me that,” he pulled away and looked you dead in the eye.

“what? your name? it’s your name, mingyu. what else am i supposed to call you?”

“please, ___. you know.” it sounded pathetic and you practically melted. “gyu,” you caved. he didn’t realize how much he missed you until this moment. well, he had been missing you since the two of you parted ways several months ago, but now that he had you so close to him, that he had just kissed you, he missed you more than ever. you were so close. he could just go back to kissing you. he really wanted to go back to kissing you.

you don’t know how you could let this happen. mingyu was always very nice to you. he was sweet, caring, attentive, all the things you could want in a boyfriend, but you just weren’t ready for the type of commitment you knew he craved.

he wanted to move in, settle down, get married, live life. it was all too real to you, so you ran.

sure it hurt to break up with him. to tell him that you didn’t want to move that fast, and you weren’t sure if you’d ever marry at all. it was all just too confusing. but now, that you were here with him, you knew that you had made a mistake.

but you had missed your chance.

he tried to move back in to kiss you again.

“gyu, stop,” you whispered. he did, but he didn’t back away. “go back to your date, gyu,” you sighed. “it isn’t fair to your date. it isn’t fair to you.”

“what do you mean, ___? i want you. i’ve only ever wanted you,” he complained, he couldn’t let you leave again. “i’ll wait for you, for as long as it takes for you to realize that it’ll always be you. that you’re the only one for me,” he rushed.

“don’t say that stuff, gyu,” you smiled at him resting your palm on his cheek. “i missed my chance with you. you deserve someone who will appreciate you from the start. you don’t deserve someone who makes you wait around.”

and with that, you pulled away from him, took a quick glance in the mirror and fixed your hair, and left.

and he had no choice but to let you.

xu minghao “oh, simple thing, where have you gone? i'm getting old, and i need something to rely on. so, tell me when you're gonna let me in. i'm getting tired, and i need somewhere to begin” - somewhere only we know by keane

“what do you want?” you asked, leaning against your door.

“can i, uh, get some books that i left here?” minghao asked not meeting your gaze. you squinted your eyes at him. this was so not minghao behavior. even though the two of you stopped hooking up a couple months ago there was still some sort of tension that made you want to claw your hair out. “yeah, i have work soon, so, uh, make it quick,” you mumbled, moving out of the way of the door. he nodded and quickly brushed past you.

your apartment was small and you knew what books he was looking for. they had been sitting on your coffee table for the past months. it wasn’t like you took time to read all five of them in his absence. it wasn’t like you ranked them by how much you thought he would like them. it wasn’t like you knew the book with the green cover would be his least favorite. but you knew you were never going to tell him that.

you picked up the stack of books and handed them to him. he took them and glanced around your apartment. he noticed that the painting the two of you made together as a joke was still hanging out by the window, and he couldn’t help be smile at that.

now there the two of you stood. saying nothing. being with minhao was always quiet, but never this type of quiet. this was stale and somewhat raw, you missed the times of soft comfortable silence.

“well, thank you for holding on to these,” he finally said.

“of course, i mean i’m not a monster who throws away books,” you chuckled. he laughed. you loved it when he laughed, especially since it took you ages to get him to stop stifling it around you.

“before i go, ___, i just need you to know that i don’t regret the things we had, and i don’t regret how things ended. i just need to know why.”

if you thought the air was stale before, you were not prepared for that. “i- i swear it has nothing to do with you,” you said. all he did was nod. “i don’t know,” you resigned yourself.

“yes, you do,” he shrugged. you stared at him, dumbfounded. yes you knew, but you were barely ready to admit it to yourself, how were you supposed to admit it to him?

“i understand that you’re lost, i am too. maybe you can’t tell me right now for whatever reason, maybe you don’t even know yourself, but i can’t stand not being around you,” he said finally.

you just looked at him. he wanted to be around you? after you broke up with him? he still wanted to be around you.

“look, i know it’s weird, but i’ve spent a lot of my time with you. i’ve genuinely enjoyed all the things we’ve done together, and i’m just at a loss for what to do. you were a huge part of my life and now that we’re not together i-” he rambled

“don’t know where to start again,” you finished for him. his eyes flickered between you and the ground.

you would be lying if you said you didn’t feel the same. leaving minghao had left some sort of void in your life that you weren’t prepared for. he had been a huge part of your life and then he was just gone. “i guess we could try to be friends again,” you suggested. “just to start again.”

he nodded.

deep down you knew you couldn’t just be friends with him, and he knew that too. yet, he agreed. he needed somewhere to begin again, and you did too. so like you always did, you would always come running back to each other even if it meant leaving each other for good in the future.

“hey, hao,” you called after him. he turned on his heel and looked at you expectantly. “don’t read the book with the green cover. you won’t like it,” you warned. he glanced down at the books he was carrying and back up at you. “noted,” he smiled. “i guess you’ll have to recommend me a different one next time.”

boo seungkwan “if i were a mountain, i'd stand my ground, and maybe i'd never listen. but if i were a mountain, i'd close my mouth and maybe i'd be forgiving” - i’m not a mountain by sarah kinsley

seungkwan tried. he tried his hardest. he gave his everything in every aspect of his life. he gave his all to you, yet for some reason it wasn’t enough. sure, he knew this wasn’t an official thing, but he still treated it as though it was.

“i just- i don’t understand,” he stammered. the look in your eyes was not one of malice or hatred, just sorrow. “i’m moving, kwan,” you sighed. “i can’t- i can’t make you wait for me. we can hardly make it when you make your trips.”

that was true. he needed you like oxygen and his job wasn’t necessarily very forgiving towards the health of his... friendships. “don’t you think we can work it out?” he questioned. “is everything we’ve done together mean nothing?”

“that’s the thing! everything we’ve done means everything to me,” you cried. “please just let me go. maybe if we meet again, it’ll be meant to be.”

he paused.

it meant everything? did that mean...

“i can’t just let you go. we are meant to be. us, here. right now. this is right. why can’t you see that?”

from his perspective, it was his fault.

did he not show you enough love? did he not text or call enough when he was away? was he not a nice enough friend for you to stay?

if he was stronger he would’ve stopped you, even though he knew you were right. some people say that couples who are meant to be together can last the test of time and distance, but that was the issue. you and seungkwan were meant to be together, physically, mentally, emotionally.

“seungkwan, please just - i’m sorry. i can’t play this game anymore.”

“then let’s stop playing, i’ll give you everything!”

“but i can’t give you everything.”

that would be fine, as long as you’re with me, he thought.

“i’m sorry, seungkwan. i- do like you, a lot. more than i should. and it isn’t fair to you to wait for someone like me who can’t love you in the way you deserve,” you sighed, making your way to the door.

if seungkwan was stronger, he would kiss you. he would hold you in his arms and tell you that you are the only person he’ll ever need or want. he would tell you that he loves you. he would ignore the things you said about leaving and make you stay. make you see that you were his world.

if seungkwan was stronger, he would stand there and forgive you for all the times you couldn’t give him your all. he would forgive you for ghosting him occasionally. he would forgive you for breaking his heart.

but seungkwan, wasn’t strong enough to do that. he was upset that you could walk away. he was upset that you were crying about this. he was upset that he couldn’t do anything about it. his facade was in shambles, and his world was crumbling around him.

instead of standing up and protesting anymore, he shut his mouth and bowed his head. tears were dotting the floor as he heard you make your way to the door. “i’m sorry, seungkwan. i love you,” you whispered.

he heard.

“i love you too,” he said as the door clicked shut.

choi vernon 어느 날 우연히 마주치면그건 우연이 아닐지 몰라 “if we meet by chance one day, maybe it’s not a coincidence” - one day by chance by ailee

“you have to meet him!” your friend giggled. “he’s so your type!”

“type? and what would that be exactly?” you entertained the notion.

“im not sure, but he’s for sure your type!” you rolled your eyes. you hadn’t dated anyone since high school, and even then it wasn’t that serious. “and what if he isn’t my so-called type?” you questioned.

“then you get to hang out with me at an awesome party,” she stated.

you didn’t even like going to parties, but you only went to entertain her (and to be her ride home). when you finally arrived at the party she slipped way saying that she was off to find the guy. you sighed and made your way the kitchen to find the bottled water. it was most likely going to be a long night and you were-

“oh hey, sorry,” the guy you just bumped shoulders with apologized instantly.

“no worries, i wasn’t watching-” you paused. “- where i was going.”

“___.”

“vernon.”

“there you are! oh! look you found him before i did!” your friend exclaimed a cup already in her hand.

right. this was the only person in high school that you had a relationship with and thought it was mildly serious. “you were looking for me?” he cocked an eyebrow at you.

“no.”

“yes! i think ___ is just your type!” you friend practically screeched.

“is that so?”

“i’m afraid not. i’ll be outside,” you grumbled to your now confused friend as you walked out the back door. you heard your friend calling after you, but you couldn’t be bothered. it wasn’t like you held a grudge towards vernon, but he was the first guy to break your heart. you knew it was just a stupid high school relationship, but there was something about him. something that was so charmingly awkward that you couldn’t help but enjoy his lame jokes and not as lame music tastes. you didn’t even announce to your friends that you were dating, you didn’t really announce it to yourselves either. it just started. and it just sort of ended. maybe the reason it hurt so much to see him here was simply because there wasn’t any screaming or crying or fighting when it all ended. just zero effort or care was behind the ending.

then something just happened and the two of you just stopped hanging out as much. you knew you couldn’t completely blame it on him. he started hanging out with a different crowd, as did you. and suddenly, it wasn’t. the breakup was as quiet as the get together. but it didn’t hurt any less to see him with his arm around someone else at lunch.

after high school you tried your best to move as far away from your hometown. you largely succeeded. new friends, new places, new experiences. you had it all while avoiding any contact from your previous life. but there was always that thought lurking in the back of your mind about what could’ve been.

it was just a stupid high school thing. then why was your heart beating so much?

you were too lost in thought to notice that vernon had joined you on the porch. “long time no see,” he said, taking a drink from his cup. you scoffed, but not so much in an unfriendly way. just a “that was such a you thing to say” scoff. he laughed taking a sip of his drink. and there you sat in silence. it was comfortable until it wasn’t.

“why’d we stop talking,” you asked suddenly. he shrugged. “not an answer, vernon,” you groaned.

“we grew a part, i guess.” the conversation topic obviously irked him. it was weird, because you had dreamt of this moment for as long as you could remember. reuniting with your high school boyfriend. it seemed far fetched, yet here you were. you were never one to believe in that metaphysical stuff, but maybe this meant something. maybe this was the universe saying something. no. it couldn’t. it was too good to be true.

“did you feel anything for me? i mean, back then at least,” you asked finally.

“yes,” he said, with a sort of certainty that scared you.

“okay, good.” you turned and you were about to go back inside as you muttered to yourself, “at least now i can move on.”

“what if i don’t want you to?” he called.

“excuse me?” you turned on your heel to stare at him.

“what if i don’t want you to move on?” he repeated.

“then you should’ve tried.”

lee chan “got to get it in my head, i'll never be 16 again. i'm waiting to live, and waiting to love” - when by dodie

some things never lasted, and that was a tough pill to swallow. an especially tough one for chan. he moved away, but he had his phone and your number (and address if he needed to resort to letters). there shouldn’t have been a problem. he promised he’d call or text at least once a day, as did you.

and for a while. it worked. things were just the same as they were. almost as if he had never even left.

yet as time passed, he wasn’t expecting to be so busy with his new neighborhood, school, and friends. so, he forgot to text and call quite often actually. just sporadic texts for holidays, funny things, “hellos” and “goodnights.” nothing like what you two were like before. and soon, that became the new normal - for the next four years.

that is until one day when he suddenly remembered the deal the two of you had. he felt guilty. every day turned into every two weeks to once every month, and even less frequent than that. he had promised you the bare minimum, after all, you two were best friends.

however, when he looked at your contact and messages, he realized that you never reached out that much either. just the same “happy winter break!” or “aren’t you so glad summer break is here?” or “we should visit each other soon.” those plans never came to be.

maybe if he had just told you how he felt before he left, the remnants of your relationship wouldn’t be in such shambles. you would have a reason to text and call him. you would have a reason to come and see him and vice versa. except, he didn’t. you two were better off as friends anyway.

and he thoroughly believed that himself. he really believed it when it was the summer and he wanted to visit his grandparents who happened to live a little outside your childhood town. he still loved you even if he couldn’t call you every day to show it. who knows, maybe he could pass through, see you, and finally get to tell you how he felt after all these years. just because you guys didn’t talk as much didn’t mean things would be awkward or weird, right? and it definitely wouldn’t be weird if he just confessed his feelings he had been harboring for you since the seventh grade, right? the feelings he concealed and tucked away just in case you didn’t feel the same. the feelings he didn’t want to risk a friendship over. the feelings that still made him dream of you.

so as he drove through his small hometown he parked along the street where the two of you would walk and window shop. he got out and strolled around greeting some of the older store owners who “oohed” and “ahhed” at him. he was finishing up his conversation with the baker when he heard it.

the undeniable sound of sunshine. the laugh he grew accustomed to throughout your entire elementary and middle school years. he bid farewell, and went searching for it. he walked down the street and looked for it, for you. then he came to the end of the sidewalk and saw you. you were sitting on a bench with some ice cream. you looked beautiful. your eyes bright and smile wide. so bright and wide that he almost missed the guy who was wrapping you up in his arms and kissing your forehead.

oh.

so things did change. chan didn’t recognize the guy, but he knew this guy was more than a friend. his heart was sinking to the bottom of his stomach. and it sunk even further when he realize he needed to walk right by you to get to his car.

shit.

just tear off the band-aid fast. maybe you wouldn’t recognize him. maybe you would be too immersed in the conversation you were having the guy to notice. he didn’t know what he would say to you. confessing wasn’t exactly appropriate now, not that it ever was. would he be awkward? oh please don’t be awkward, he pleaded with himself.

so he just went. he just walked. looked around at his surroundings. acted nonchalant. he was the closest to you he’d been in years, and he couldn’t even bring himself to wave at you, let alone look you in the eye. he ducked his head when he got closer to passing the bench where you sat. he kept his eyes to the ground and successfully made it past your table. there was approximately five beats of his heart when it dropped again. “chan? is that you?” you called after him, he heard you get up from the bench. he looked over his shoulder slightly, but he couldn’t bring himself to fully turn around. you stood in the middle of the sidewalk, ice cream melting down your hand, and your presumed boyfriend staying off to the side. he turned back around to keep walking to his car. “god, chan!” you shouted. “get back here! why didn’t you tell me you were going to be in town?”

“sorry, i- i have to get to my grandparents’ place by dinner. it was nice running into you, ___,” he mumbled, blinking his eyes to stop the tears from falling.

“chan, come on, it’ll be quick.” you were getting closer to him. he couldn’t let that happen.

“no, ___. i can’t. i have to go.” i don’t know what i was thinking. “i’m sorry. just text me or something.”

he really should’ve told you how he felt when he was sixteen.

min | mmmm sad foolish people in love.... i wanted to do one with ceilings but i already did doomsday so i didn’t want to go overboard with lizzy... it’s been a while since i wrote angst ALKDJ leave so feedback in the comments or in the tags (they’re all greatly appreciated) not proofread

#seventeen #seventeen reactions #seventeen headcanons #seventeen x reader #seventeen scenarios #seventeen angst #seventeen imagines #vernon x reader #joshua x reader #jeonghan x reader #minghao x reader #dokyeom x reader #seventeen fluff #mingyu x reader #seventeen smut #wonwoo x reader #wonwoo angst

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delicatebarness · 2 months

Text

bring him home | chapter three

Summary: Tony finds out.

Warnings: MCU Spoilers. Captain America: Civil War & Endgame? Grief. Mentions of Murder, Death and Sex.

Word Count: I haven’t edited it just yet so not sure. I’ll update once I have.

Masterlist | Previous Chapter | Chapter Three Remaster

A/N: I wrote this chapter before even finishing Chapter Two. It broke me. Also, this was meant to be chapter four but I felt bad after not posting for a while and just letting this sit here so here you go.

Tags: @alastorsdarlingdoe | @whiminiferous | @armystay89 | @bucky-just-needs-love | @esposadomd

I DO NOT CONSENT TO HAVE MY WORK POSTED, TRANSLATED OR PUBLISHED TO ANY THIRD PARTY SITE OR APP. IF ANYONE SEES MY WORK ANYWHERE BUT HERE, IT HAS BEEN REPOSTED WITHOUT MY PERMISSION.

One Year.

Surrounded by Goats.

“How did Tony take it? You know, us being, well, us?” He questioned as he looked out to the Wakandian water, your head resting on his lap while you read. Sighing, you put your book to the side and sat up on your knees.

“He doesn’t know.” You played with a loose thread on his sling as you whispered the confession to him.

“What? Wait, you haven’t told him?” Bucky cupped your face which his hand, moving you to look at him. “Where does he think you are?” You move your hands around, gesturing towards Wakanda. “Why does he think you’re here?”

“I told him I’ve been coming here to meet up with Shuri,” You smiled remembering how grateful you were to T’Challa for opening Wakanda to the world, not only helping provide resources to other countries but also for giving you an excuse to tell your dad. “We’ve been working on a tech thing,” you move your hand over to Bucky’s armless shoulder. “Which, isn’t a lie.”

“You just left out the part that you’re sleeping in a hut, surrounded by goats, with an armless 100-year-old man?” Laughing, he shook his head at you while you just nodded at him.

It Still Wants Him.

“I lost a lot of loved ones,” you sighed as you looked around the small circle of group members attending today. “I lost a lot of friends, co workers, my brothers, I thought I had lost my dad at first and I also lost the love of my life.” You hadn’t realised your dad standing in the shadows of the entrance. His head was down as he listened to his child heartbroken over loss. The one life experience he couldn’t protect you from or heal. He wanted to see how your idea was working out, he wanted to see how you were helping people while you yourself have not yet been helped.

He was shocked to hear you say “love of your life.” He racked his brain on who you could be talking about, as far as he was aware, you didn’t care about romantic relationships. The others in group knew who you were, knew you lost friends, family, co workers and your brothers. Yet, they too were just as confused as your dad had been to learn this information. They had never seen you in any tabloids in regard to romance. Surprisingly considering who raised you.

They were asking all the same questions your dad was thinking. “What was their name?” “When did you know they had disappeared?”

“His name was James,” No, your dad thought, it can’t be. “Everyone knew him as Bucky, but, he liked it when I called him James.” He stared at you through the shadows, debating if he should storm in and demand to know the truth. He didn’t need to, you carried on speaking. Freely, opening about it all, all he could do was listen. “And, I watched him disappear after fighting Thanos.”

“I have never met anyone like him in my life. So calm and patient. It felt like a connection the second our eyes met for the first time. He was funny, charming and just all-around a nice guy. He had a lot of trauma but he worked hard to grow from it. He meant more to me than anyone could imagine.” You sighed, rubbing your left arm subconsciously. “There was a lot of tough times at the beginning, especially when you consider how we met and the complexity of us just knowing each other. But, I couldn’t imagine anyone else filling the space in my life like he did. I wished for him to be the man I grew old with, built a home with, possibly had children with.” You wiped a tear that started falling with your shelve. This was when you noticed your dad, you made direct eye contact with him and you had never felt so small under his gaze. Disappointment. That’s what you were. “Anyway,” you choked as you carried on, not dropping his gaze. “I knew us being together would have hurt so many people. That was the last thing I ever wanted to do. But, the heart wants what it wants and my heart, wanted him.” This was when you dropped his gaze and looked around at the fellow group members. “It still wants him.”

After the last member had left the sports hall of Midtown, you followed them into the schools parking lot. You lifted your head to notice your dad leaning against your car with his hood up. With a deep breath, you walked towards him.

“I don’t want to hear it.” You spat before he could open his mouth, you tried to open your car door but he slammed his hand against it. “Dad, please, I don’t want to hear it.”

“You’re sleeping with a murderer.” It was as if he hissed at you, anger spat like venom as he looked down at you.

“I’M A MURDERER.” “And in case you forgot what happened a year ago, I’m not sleeping with him anymore.”

“Y/N he killed-“

“I understand you’re still hurting, Dad. I would be too if it was you and Pepper.” He saw the pain you still carried from only ever hearing stories about them but never getting to meet them yourself in your eyes, there was also the love you had for a man you grew to know as himself and not a killer. “But, it wasn’t him. Surely, with that genius mind you’d be able to comprehend that.” His head dropped with a sigh. “He loved me, he was kind to me, he made me happy. Isn’t that enough for you as my dad? Not as an avenger or a son? Just, my dad?”

“It’s all I’ve ever wanted,” Looking back up, reaching his hand out to wipe a stray tear from your cheek. “You to be happy.”

“I miss him, dad, I miss him so much.”

Pulling you into his arms placing a hand on your head, allowing you to sob into his chest.

“I know, Kid, I know.”

#bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky x you #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x y/n #catws #dad!tony stark x daughter!reader #falcon and the winter soldier #bucky fanfic #bucky x female reader #cacw #endgame #avengers endgame #the avengers x reader #tony stark x reader

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w1ldthoughts · 10 months

Text

You Make Me Feel

Anon Requested smut so I wrote something nasty. Slight continuation of this but will still make sense without reading it!

Warning: smut and language

Masterlist

“No. It’s not happening.” Jack states simply, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Please? You lost the bet and you were the one that said—”

“When I said losers get to be the winner’s bitch for a week I didn’t mean literally!” He interrupts, leaning against the kitchen counter. He was desperately looking for a way out of this conversation. “I love you more than anything in the world. You know that…right?”

You nod. “But I’m not letting you put anything in my ass…Why do you even wanna do this so badly?”

“Because…” you begin, walking over to put your hands on his shoulders. “I’ve been doing some research on how to spice things up and your prostrate is where your g-spot is. I know it sounds insane and we’ve never done anything like this before but I just wanna make you feel good.” You noticed his frown begin to disappear at your confession.

“And plus, the thought of you laying there having the most intense orgasm of your life because of me? There’s nothing in this world that would be any sexier.” You continues. “But if you’re uncomfortable then obviously we won’t do it.”

Jack uncrossed his arms and wrapped them around you with a deep sigh. He looked down at you and kissed your forehead. “You really wanna do this don’t you?”

You nodded slowly, waiting for him to deliver the verdict. “Fine. Just give me a couple days so we can get everything we need and do this shit right. But you have to promise not to tell anyone we’re doing this. Especially not Urban baby please, I’m not trying to hear his mouth.”

“And the nails gotta go. If you scratch my butthole I’m not talking to you for two weeks.” You laughed but he was being serious.

“Promise. I won’t tell a soul. And I’ll lose the nails.” You give him an excited squeeze and a smooch. “Love you Jackie poo, I’m gonna make you feel so good.”

“Yeah you better, my alpha status is on the line here. But I trust you with my life and I love you. A lot clearly.”

How in the hell had you convinced him to do this? He thought to himself as the two of you sat on the couch two days later browsing sex toys on your laptop. It definitely wasn’t his first time purchasing them, it was just the first time it would be used on him. The more he thought about it though, the hotter it got. And your excitement about making him feel good made him have to adjust a few times while you shopped. The more equipped for the situation he was, the better he felt about it. If he was being honest, he was thinking about it more and more as the days went on.

He was ready.

All of the items on your list had arrived the day before and you could tell that your boyfriend was nervous when you got upstairs.

“Babe if you’re having second thoughts then we don’t have to go through with it. You wouldn’t be hurting my feelings at all, I want you to be 100% sure about this. Do you want us to do something else?”

Immediately shaking his head, he told you he was anxious but excited as he didn’t really know what to expect or how he was going to feel.

“This is all new for me too, but I’m going to take care of you, I promise.“ You whispered as he pulled you down top of him. Kissing him would never get old, you were convinced it would always give you butterflies in your stomach and warmth in your chest and between your legs. He took his time with you, grinning into the kiss as one of his hands caressed any part of your body that he could. There was a palpable shift in his energy, from anxiousness to hunger and the more his body felt relaxed, the sloppier his movement got.

Without breaking the kiss, he swiftly turned you both over so he was top, his hand resting at the base of your hip. He sucked on your bottom lip before coming up for air, helping you out of the tank top you were wearing. Looking down, he whispered “may I?” Waiting for you to nod before taking off your underwear.

He was looking at you like he wanted to devour you. “Holy fuck you’re already wet, is this all because of me, baby?”

“You don’t even wanna know how long I’ve been thinking about tonight.”

“Well I’m gonna get you off first and then let you have your way with me…deal?” He smirks, licking his fingers.

“Deal.”

There needed to be a scientific study on how your partner knows your body better than you do. Jack gave you two orgasms before cleaning you up, holding you in his arms while you caught your breath. He gave you the T-shirt he had on earlier and was making small circles on your back as you basked in the afterglow.

“You ready?” You placed a hand on his chest, feeling a sudden burst of energy.

He responded with a nervous laugh. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

“It’s gonna be great. You can take your pants off whenever you’re ready and I’ll grab the stuff. Be right back.” You were hoping that your reassuring peck would be helpful.

You came back into the room with bottles of lube in one hand and a prostate massager in the other.

“Where do you want me?” He asked, looking a lot more sure of himself now that the moment had come. You gave him your instructions and went back to your set-up.

He slid down to the bottom of the bed while you squeezed the lube and took a deep breath. Your dry hand gently stroked his thigh as you inserted one finger.

“Relax baby, don’t tense up it’s supposed to feel good. Just let go and let yourself feel.” You smiled, watching his chest rise and fall until eventually his breaths slowed. You inserted another finger and were welcomed by a stifled gasp filled with arousal.

Curling your fingers to stimulate his perineum, you began stroking your fingers against it.

“Oh my god.” Jack whispered, his voice quivering. He had never felt anything like this before and you were getting more turned on by the minute. You hit nerves he didn’t even know existed and the action made all of his muscles relax like never before.

You pressed two knuckles against his taint and began to knead ever so gently, earning a series of breathy moans that were the most gorgeous sounds you’d ever heard. “Jesus Christ y/n, I’m—oh shit,” he whines, grasping at the sheets for some sort of security.

The prostate massager you made him buy had really turned up the heat and he was feeling it. His back arched into your touch, whimpering your name as he was nearing his peak. Watching him fall apart like putty in your hands was so much better than anything you’d ever pictured. He was so close, you knew the signs. You switched the massager into the other hand while stroking Jack’s erect length.

“M’gonna cum, holy sh—oh fuck.” He cries out. You watched the cum dribble down his shaft and your hand as it pumped out of his body. After you grabbed a towel and helped him clean up, both of you laid back down, bodies tangled together and all was right in the world.

“So…did that feel good?” You asked, looking up at him.

He let out a loud laugh. “Good? I don’t think ‘good’ even begins to cover how that felt. Pretty sure that just changed my life. Didn’t ever think I would be into butt stuff but here I am.”

“Does that mean you’d be open to doing it again sometime?” You inquired apprehensively.

“We are definitely going to be doing that again. Being your bitch really got my legs feeling like jello but I can get down with it. And you didn’t scratch my asshole so it’s a good day in my book.”

Who knew your super alpha, 6’3 man would be into letting you dominate? Maybe you could convince him to try pegging next…

Eh, probably not. But a girl can dream.

#Jack Harlow #jack harlow imagine #jack harlow x reader #jackman thomas harlow #jack harlow one shot #jack harlow fanfic #jack harlow smut

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jakelandryshorts · 10 months

Text

Military Test Subject

(AI art created by Jammer Link)

“Hot damn!” General Smith shouted when he saw the recruit. “You boys really outdid yourselves!”

“Thank you,” Andrew smiled at the praise. It’d been over a year of testing, but they finally found a compound that would actually work and be good for application. They were given Kyle Briggs nearly a month ago and he was a pretty standard soldier. Maybe even considered to be on the weaker side. It wasn’t even a week before they started to notice changes.

He’d gained almost 15 pounds of muscle and grew another inch taller. The physical trainer said this was unprecedented. He’d been sworn to secrecy, yet the scientists had quickly learned that wouldn’t have been necessary. They found him sneaking off with the test subject and having sex. It was noted that the physical trainer was the happiest bottom they had ever seen. Even though he had sworn up and down that he was straight when they hired him, he said it was impossible to think about anything other than the subject’s cock slamming into him.

By week three, it was nearly impossible to separate the two. The subject had grown another three inches and gained an additional 45 pounds of muscle. He defended his lover with all his strength. More terrifying was that many of the soldiers who were told to separate the two mentioned understanding how the physical trainer must have felt. They longed to go back in there. It was about two or three days and the soldiers were found still trying to emulate sex with the test subject.

No other soldiers would volunteer to be in the same room as the subject.

By week four, he’d gained another 100 pounds and five inches taller. He looked like an absolute monster. Any goal that they had set for him was easily smashed down. They had to weigh him over the intercom and the physical trainer was more than happy to help get the measurements, however no one else was allowed into the room with them. The week after that, there were no noticeable differences to his weight changes.

“Well then!” General Smith slapped his knee. “Let’s go meet him!”

“W-what!?” Andrew jumped out of his seat and stumbled through the room to block the door. “Sir. That’s not a good idea.”

“Is he violent?” General Smith asked.

“Violent? No. It’s just—”

“Son, I’ve been in this field a long time. I don’t need you to tell me how to meet my recruits,” General Smith pushed Andrew to the side.

“Sir,” one of the general’s guards said. “Shouldn’t we listen to him?”

Andrew nodded furiously. His voice was stuck as he was never very good at talking to his superiors. “Yes! Please! You don’t under—”

“Nonsense. If you’re going to chicken out as well, then I’ll just go meet the new recruit on my own. Out of my way.” General Smith pushed Andrew fully to the side and opened the door. Andrew held his breath and then pushed the door closed.

“Hmmm?” The guard’s eyebrow raised. He felt his cock harden in his pants as he looked at the test subject. His hand instinctually went to touch his dick.

Andrew let out a sigh. “Don’t worry, it’ll hopefully wear off in about 24 hours. But it’s too late for him…” He pointed his thumb over his shoulder at the general. For a second, the bodyguard didn’t believe the little man, but he quickly realized that his eyes hadn’t left the test subject’s body since the door had been opened. That strange musky scent hung in his nose and his pants had come undone, revealing his fat cock. “Let’s get you out of here so you aren’t tempted anymore. And I’ve got to make a few phone calls.”

Someone handed the guard an impressively sized dildo. The bodyguard would have been mortified at any other time wondering how someone could fit this inside them, let alone the insinuation that he would. But his hands happily ran up and down the silicone rod as he thought about the impressively built man on the other side of the glass wall. He followed the man and struggled not to look back at the test subject.

However, General Smith was still being monitored as he walked through the subject’s area. Sweat started to drip down his forehead and the sharply dressed man quickly started to undo the top buttons of his uniform. “Hot damn!” the general cursed. “They sure as hell love to pump the heat up in here…” He wiped his brow as he approached the subject.

The subject sat up from the bench press he’d just been using. His eyebrow cocked. A wry grin appeared on his face. “I don’t find it too bad,” he answered. A thick layer of sweat covered his body. The hair on his chest matted to his pecs and abs.

“That makes one of us,” General Smith laughed as he continued his approach. He didn’t even notice as he stripped off his military jacket, kicked off his shoes and undid his belt. The feeling of the somewhat cool air on his body felt so good that he just left them on the floor where they fell. “I’m General Smith. I’m your new boss.”

“Oh?” the subject laughed. Mostly because the general’s hard cock looked to be throbbing in his underwear. “I see…” The subject stood up.

General Smith never considered himself to be a small man. At 6’1” and a little overweight 220 pounds, most people were a bit shorter than him. However, he had to crane his neck back to get a proper look at this beast of a man. General Smith barely even came up to his chest. His eyes had move to bring the man fully into view. He gasped.

“Y-yes,” General Smith tried to regain his senses. It didn’t help that his hand was pleasuring his cock. He reached it out for a handshake. “With a man like you on board, I doubt we’ll need much of a military.”

The subject laughed at the joke and accepted the handshake. His hand completely engulfed the general’s. It looked more like a gorilla hand over a human’s. The subject quickly pulled the general into a hug. General Smith’s face landed directly between the subject’s massive pecs.

The general took in a deep breath. He didn’t even realize that his hips bucked or feel the wet stain forming in his underwear. His mind was far too focused on the man in front of him. The strong powerful scent that completely overwhelmed him. His senses didn’t take in anything other than the man. His hands groped the powerful muscles and felt their strength.

“They don’t let many friends come in here…” the subject complained. “I’m happy to meet you.”

“And I’m happy to meet you…” the general moaned. He wasn’t even fighting it anymore. His hands tried to touch every inch of the powerful man in front of him, groping and grasping at whatever he could get a hold of. Of course, the subject was happy to comply, flexing his arms and legs as the general’s hands tried to grasp around it. It was an impossible task as the human was far too small.

The subject chuckled as the general pulled out the subject's hefty sized cock. The small man was trying desperately to find a hole for it to fit in. “Your hands are fine,” the subject said. The general’s face beamed as he started stroking the monster sized cock. It had to be well over a foot long and thick as the general’s arm.

General Smith instantly started stroking it. His whole body had to get into the motion. But he looked like he’d never been happier in his life. The subject stood tall, flexing his body as his cock was milked. Loud deep moans rumbled the building. He was fully into it. All the way up to the point that he coated the general with his cum. Big splashes hit the general in his face and rolled down his body.

“Excellent job…” the subject praised. The general tried to get started again, but the subject stopped him. “You need to take a rest.” He lifted up the man and cradled him in his arms as he took him over to see the physical trainer. “You two will be working together for a while. I can’t wait to actually fuck him.” A devious smile overtook the subjects face as he watched the two men cuddle together.

The subject turned back to the scientists. “You know you can always give me more friends to play with.”

Over the next week the subject grew another inch and gained 15 pounds of muscle.

(More Stories over on my Wordpress https://jakelandrystories.wordpress.com/)

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ohisms · 1 year

Text

↪ 𝑻𝑯𝑬 𝑫𝑬𝑽𝑰𝑳 𝑰𝑵 𝑴𝑬 . ( a series of sentence starters from the 2022 supermassive game “ the devil in me ” . adjust phrasing as necessary . spoilers & mature themes are present . )

i bet you can see a hundred miles from the top .

you mean you’re not weary of me after an entire day of marriage ?

are we the only ones here ?

that’s no way to run a business .

that’s my [ name ] , always finding that silver lining .

my attention was needed elsewhere .

i promise from here on out , it will be nothing but silver linings .

today is a very special day for us .

i’m starting to think i’ve gone & married a thrill seeker .

are we looking for excitement ?

see what happens when you chase a thrill ?

if you’ll excuse me , i have work to return to .

i’m sure we’ll see each other again soon .

this feels like some sort of treacherous plot .

close your eyes , & face the mirror .

aren’t you clever & romantic ?

don’t fight it ... it’ll only hurt more if you do .

you’re only prolonging the inevitable .

what have you done ?!

you’re wasting your last chance to tell him that you love him .

it’s so good to have company . for a long time , i was on my own .

i can barely recall a time when i was not here .

what good are stories without someone to experience them ?

art can elicit all sorts of reactions .

you’re responsible for what happens . you’re culpable .

i can’t interfere , that’s very much against the rules .

it’s tough being honest when it means everyone just thinks you’re a bitch .

i’m sick of being on my own .

it’s a fucking mess , to be honest with you .

i think we’ve heard quite enough .

i was born with the devil in me .

i could not help the fact that i was a murderer any more than a poet can help the inspiration to sing .

just being dead ain’t enough to stop me from killing again .

actually , it’s what i can do for you .

do you know where we’re going , exactly ?

it was 100% your fault . you fly by the seat of your ass .

was this part of the plan ? did you know about this ?

i figured we needed all the help we could get .

downtime ? why would you want to do that ?

i’ve got a lot going on at the moment , [ name ] .

you got any family you can go bother ?

‘ married to the job ’ ... how’s that marriage working out ?

we agreed to let that drop for the weekend .

sorry for giving you a hard time .

christ , what the hell is that ?

it’s gonna be okay , it’s all gonna be okay .

i’ll explain everything later .

are you sure ? ‘cos you don’t seem sure .

i’m charming , & you can hotwire your way past security .

hey , can i ask you something & get a straight answer ?

shh , get down !

this is ridiculous , there’s nothing out here .

i heard you were looking for a new place .

if i wanted to go on nature hikes , i wouldn’t have moved to the city .

you can do it . eyes forward , don’t look down .

you always knew how to get me through the shit , didn’t you ?

maybe this won’t be a waste of a weekend .

i told you this was a good plan , didn’t i ?

you’ve been out & about all day , & i have to sit here worrying . gone all day , & not a word from you !

i don’t think we’re the only ones here .

this is my don’t be scared song , sing it & i won’t be scared long !

scream if you need me for anything .

something about this place makes me wanna use the buddy system .

you talk in your sleep ... not sure if i ever told you that .

you’re cute when you’re worked up .

cute ? ... you think i’m cute ?

i try to pretend like it isn’t a thing , you know .

if my cheeks are red , it’s from this wine .

sorry . didn’t mean to make you feel weird .

i’m fucking with you , i’ve been wanting to kiss you for months .

sorry , did i interrupt something ?

i can’t find my room & i need a fucking cigarette .

i’m not stressed , okay ? do i look fucking stressed ?

this place is massive , surely there’s a pack of cigarettes here .

stick with me , [ name ] , i’m going places .

[ name ] , there’s something important you have to understand .

no , come on , you piece of shit ... don’t do this to me !

i’m supposed to buy “ nothing ” is eating up at you ?

i still think your priorities are fucked .

what about taking a huge risk & just DO something ?

are you trying to butter me up ?

we don’t need to rehash stuff , let’s just work .

you’re only asking me ‘cos your arms are too short for a good selfie angle .

maybe we should just add this topic to our “ discussion no - fly zone ” list .

shit , that scared the fuck out of me .

at some point , you have to give up the ghost .

you’ve been doing your research , haven’t you ?

are you taking a survey or trying to learn something ?

would it kill you to be direct ?

you want to know what inspired me ? as if i wasn’t the original ?

you look amazing , as usual .

i heard enough , thank you , i know what betrayal sounds like .

i’m not blind , i know what i saw .

this could work to our advantage .

am i the only one that’s getting really freaked out by this place ?

can you stop trying to make this worse ?

don’t come crying to me if you end up dead .

choices , [ name ] , make better choices .

this is your own damn fault .

it’s all about the honey trap .

you bring me some smokes ? like i asked ?

that’s what i remember most . those screams .

you’ll never really know how it feels to watch the fire burn out of somebody .

thanks for that stuff you said at dinner . it was nice to hear .

we’re all on the same side , sometimes we forget .

get me out of here ! i can’t see a thing !

count your breaths . one, two, three, in ...

how very rude , not to stay for dinner .

i can only observe , & it can be ... frustrating to watch .

in some ways , i envy you .

something is very not right here .

i’ve been waiting on you for ages to actually make a decision about something , anything , & now this is when you suddenly choose to take a stand ?

your delusions make for such great plans .

would it kill you to think positively just once ?

it’s not even the worst idea i’ve had this evening .

don’t go patting yourself on the back , i still think your priorities are fucked .

i can care about more than one thing at a time .

working this job has made me really understand what a sociopath is .

you always assume the worst .

help me ! please -- please , i’ll do anything !

maybe you’re right , but you don’t need to be an asshole about it .

i guess i was holding out for things to change with us .

i have never once shied away from telling you where my priorities were .

i have to live with it every day & now someone knows .

someone WANTED me to find this .

you have to get the fuck out ANY way you can . just get the FUCK OUT !

are you losing your shit ? ‘cos i don’t need that right now .

maybe we just focus on one thing at a time .

[ name ] ... i found a way out , maybe .

i don’t know what i was expecting .

what the fuck is this ?

[ name ] , what are you doing ? just stay back .

no way this is happening .

it’s gotta be fake ... a prop , or from ... an animal or something .

it can be difficult working with someone you’ve been involved with .

i think we can bust through this thing .

i’ve had enough of this shit , what the hell is going on ?

the walls are moving again .

i’m not a fuckin’ lab rat here for your amusement !

don’t look at me like that . you know i’m right . you get it .

you got to do something that matters .

think of the most profound thing you’ve ever done .

i see the gleam in your eye , [ name ] . you can’t fool me .

there ... there you are . i see you now .

bare hands can feel good , huh ? but the blade makes for such a prettier picture .

how far down does it go ?

there’s blood everywhere , & ... & a body .

one of us is going to have to be bait .

you could use that as a weapon if need be .

what an excruciating way to go .

people can surprise you sometimes .

as always , i’ll be watching very closely .

hurry the fuck up !

it’s a forest , it could be anything .

can you not freak me out even more than i already am ?

i wasn’t expecting you .

you’re a selfish monster ... always have been .

predictable little shit , i know you .

[ name ] ! i thought i lost you .

all good things must come to an end .

can you find your own way out ?

i have no doubt we’ll meet again in the future .

#yeah okay i got 3/5 of them killed #WHOOPS ?#rp meme #rp prompt #inbox meme #rp inbox meme

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ohtobeleah · 1 year

Note

I can't stop thinking about dot having a nightmare and tooster comforting her🥺 he would be so good with her

We need a break from all the angst don’t we? 🥺🥺 here the Terms of Endearment Masterlist if you wanna read it.

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

Oh my heart can’t take this. Picture it.

One of the things that your OBGYN had told you not to do while you were in the later stages of your third trimester and boarding on what you thought would be your fourth, was to move house.

Did you and Bradley listen? No—

Because you needed a bigger house for your growing family and when you found this one on the market, two story, four bedroom, two and a half bathroom, massive entertainment areas with an open plan kitchen smack bang in the middle of a cul de sac just a twenty minute drive from base? You and Bradley put in an offer the real estate and previous owners just couldn’t refuse. A few weeks later? You were signing off on all the paperwork and being handed the keys.

But just because you’d both found the most perfect house to make a home for your growing family, that didn’t negate the fact that your OBGYN had been right.

“Mama!!” Dot's cries could be heard down the hall in the dead quiet of the night. “Mama—!” With every passing second that she wasn’t being attended to, her cried became more pained, desperate to be consoled after the nightmare she had just been startled from by a loud clap of thunder followed almost immediately by the bright drawn out flashes of lightning creeping in through her curtains to eerily illuminate her new bedroom. “Tooster!”

“Okay—“ It’s your deep sigh that’s laced in exhaustion that has Bradley immediately rolling over to kiss your cheek. You’d both been lying there for a few minutes wondering if your now four and a half year old would soothe herself back to sleep. “I’m coming bubba.”

“No, no you stay in bed mama I’ll get her.” Bradley Bradshaw never thought he could fall any more in love with you, until you told him you were pregnant. “You stay here, sleep, I’ve got her.”

“Mama! Tooster!” Dots screaming out as the thunder outside rawrs on, so much so it even makes you jump a little as you sit up to rest against the headboard, baby bump engorged and in the way of practically everything you did nowadays.

“She sounds like someone’s slitting her throat.” You're tired and swollen and exhausted from unpacking the copious amounts of boxes. “Better hurry Tooster—“

“I’m going, I’m up.” You don’t know if Bradley was trying to convince himself or you that he was awake, but regardless—his feet hit the carpet as he pushed his boxer briefs clad self up and out of the comfort of the bed he shared with you every night. “You know you can’t even blame me for this one, she’s all you.” Rooster teases as Dot's ear piercing shrills echo out from down the hall, forcing you and Bradley to both frown and hiss at the overly dramatic sounds escaping from your clearly distressed four year old daughter. “My daughter, your DNA—“

“Oh I can’t wait to hear the end of that gag when your daughter is born Bradshaw.” Rooster would from time to time remind you that he had no involvement with the creation of Odette Dolan. Although he loved and cared for her as his own and would tell every Tom Dick and Harry that Odette was his daughter, there was always the odd occasion when she’d do something overly dramatic or totally inappropriate that would remind Bradley Bradshaw that Odette was 100% without a shadow of a doubt not his biological daughter and that whatever personality trait she was exhibiting was passed down by you. “I can’t stand that joke—“

Bradley just laughs to himself as he’s padding around the bed, leaning over, and kissing your lips softly. Placing a gentle hand over your stomach that’s harboring his unborn daughter. One of his old T-shirts adorns your bump. Nothing else quite fit you at the moment.

“You can’t stand it because it’s the truth mama—“ Bradley coos against your lips.but you and Bradley both know that Odette hangs out with Bradley far too much to not mimic him and his mannerisms. Bradley was Dot’s dad in all the ways that counted, that mattered—and although he’d joke and tease you that she wasn’t his, he loved her far too much to not want her to be.

Hell, he loved your daughter so much he’d even mentioned the possibility of adopting her, but to be able to legally adopt Dot Bradley had to live in the same house as you and your daughter for at least four years—and Jaidyn needed to relinquish all his parental rights before anything could go through the courts. So—at this point in time, Bradley Bradshaw had his hands tied. He just needed to wait for the right time.

“MAMA!—“ Dots screaming. “MAMA! HELP—!”

“Rooster, if you don’t go see what’s wrong she’s going to tear her throat apart.” You sigh, looking up at the man you loved, the man who’d become your best friend, your partner in crime.

“I’m going, I’m going.” Bradley mumbled against your lips just one more time before he’s departing from the bedroom he shared with you. Rubbing his eyes when he hits the hallway light on, the bright hume of yellow and white force him to squint as he wraps his fist around the door handle of Dots door, her cry’s still raging on as he opens it slowly—trying his best not to startle the already hysteric four year old he loved so dearly.

“Odette darlin? S’wrong baby?” It’s almost instant, as soon as Bradley is taking a step into the darkness of Odette's room—there’s a huge clap of thunder that quite frankly even startled him. He can’t imagine how fast her little heart must be racing as she screams out for painful hot tears of sadness.

“TOOSTER!!!”

“Hey, im here baby im here.” Bradley coos as he switches on the fairy lights that hang above and around the top of Dots little toddler bed. It looks like a house delicate white white tulle drapes that hang down the sides and across the top. “I’m here Dot.”

“I’m scawed—“ She sniffles out, trying to regulate her breathing when she realises her Tooster is here. “S’loud and I had a bad dweam—“

“Oh well that's just no good, is it princess.” Bradley’s mumbling as he climbs on into the toddler bed, ducking down so he doesn’t smack his forehead on the white beam that runs across the top. “How about I stay in here for a little while?”

“Won’t mama miss you?” Dot asks as Bradley lays down again the side of the bed closest to the wall, collecting dot in his strong arms as he settles in. Wrapping his daughter up in his arms against his chest.

“Hmm, probably, but mamas a big girl you know.”

“Mamas scared of tunder too.” If there’s one thing Bradley never wants to change is the way Odette talks. She still has trouble with her R’s and K’s and in some cases her H’es, but it just melts his heart. “Is she otay?”

“Mums more than okay Sweetheart, she’s probably already snoring her head off.” Bradley nuzzles his nose against Dot's cheek, making her giggle as she squirms in his grip. Her tears still wet on her lashes.

“Mama doesn’t snore.” Dot yawns, climbing herself up onto Rooster's bare chest, the warmth he radiates reminds her that although there’s a fierce and ferocious storm rumbling away outside, she’s safe in her Roosters arms. “You do Tooster.”

Bradley scoffs out loud, like fuck you don’t snore. You snore louder than he does. It’s because of the baby, he knows it, but still he agrees, closing his eyes because he’s tired and it’s nearing three in the morning.

“Well now you get to deal with me snoring because I’m not leaving this bed.” Bradley sticks his tongue out, he can’t see Dot smiling down at him as she climbs the expanse of his torso but he hears her laugh. He’d take that sound over her cries any day of the week. “Why does the thunder scare you?” Bradley liked to talk to Dot like she was a big girl, he wanted her to feel like she could always talk to him, always come to him about any of her problems, her trials, her tribulations in life and he’d be there to listen, give advice. “You know your grandma used to tell me that thunder is just Santa busy in his workshop with all his elves and that lightning is just him testing out all his Christmas lights.”

“But I don’t have a gwandma Tooster, I have a uwncle Jakey.” It was true. Dot didn’t have a set of grandparents on either side of your families. It was something the pair of you never really thought about until you fell pregnant. The idea that your growing family was just so…..small. “Can I meet gwandma?” Dot asked as she finally settled into Rooster’s side. Pulling up his little blush pink covers as she did so.

“She’s in heaven darlin, been there even before you were born.” Bradley hoped his mum could see him now, being the one thing he thought he’d never be. A dad, a good dad he hoped.

“Why did mum bownded me?” Bradley couldn’t help but to smile and stifled a loud laugh for this time of night. Rolling over onto his side as Dot laid on hers. He was cramped in her toddler bed that he and Jake had spent far to many hours putting together. But he’d stay here all night if that meant she felt safe.

“Why did your mum born you?” Bradley cooed, bornded—that was Rooster’s new favourite word. Drinking in the sight of the little girl who looked more like you every day. “Well, If I'm being perfectly honest with you Dotty girl I think your mama bornded you because she needed someone to show her she wasn’t finished fighting.” It was probably a far deeper response than Dot had the capacity to comprehend, but it was what Bradley truly believed. “But she also bornded you because you were in her tummy and she couldn’t keep you there forever, you got too big.”

“Like mama is now with the new baby?” Dot asked as she yawned again, her eyelids heavy as she tried to stay away, enjoying the conversation she was having with her Rooster. “

“Exactly like mama is now.” Bradley replied as he kissed Dots forever, once again wrapping her up in his arms, pulling her close to his chest as she settled into the warmth of his chest. “Get some rest sweetheart, I’ll be here in the morning.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

“Ow! Ya little turd.” With a grown and a huff you were rolling over in bed. Your unborn daughter was going to grow up to be a kickboxer at this rate, you were sure of it. She’d been using your ribs as target practice for her future opponents from the moment the sun had begun to rise. “Bradley I swear to god if this child of yours doesn’t stop using me as her personal soccer ball I swear I’m gonna opt to get my tubes tied after delivery.”

When you were met with nothing but silence, you rolled over, a hand caressing your stomach as you did so. To your surprise there was no Bradley, just an empty bed that was closed and lonely.

“Huh—“ It took you a moment to put the pieces of the foggy puzzle together. It was Sunday which meant sleep in day, but where the hell was your soon to be husband? “Oh! Right!” As if your unborn daughter was telling you that you’d make a great detective, she kicked you hard and kicked you fast against your bladder, forcing you to groan as you struggled to sit up in the middle of the bed your Fiancé had abandoned you in. “Okay, that’s it—you’re definitely your fathers daughter you little shit.”

As you waddled down the hall, you rubbed your eyes and stretched your back. Feeling awfully large as of late as your daughter overtook your uterus. She was Bradley’s for sure. He was a giant, six foot three on a good day. But even as your annoyance grew, your heart melted as you pushed open the door to your daughter's room and saw Bradley Bradshaw curled up and cramped in your daughter's bed. He dwarfed her, but wrapped in Bradley’s arms laid your sleeping tot. Completely anchored by all the love that radiated off Rooster.

“I can’t feel my legs—“ Bradley grumbled when he caught your smirk, watching as you leaned against the threshold of the door. “I’ve got pins and needles in my lower back.”

“If I wasn’t already pregnant Bradshaw you’d be in a world of trouble.” You teased, seeing Bradley all curled up with your daughter in her toddler bed made your heart grow so fond of the man who’d swooped you off your feet a few years ago, kept you safe, protected you from the real monsters of the world. “I like this, I like this a lot.” You giggled, circling your finger Bradley’s way as he tried to sneak out of Odette's bed without disturbing her.

“Oh really?” Tip toeing across Dots room. Bradley wiggled his eyebrows as his hand’s gravitated towards your baby bump. “That’s good to know—“ He mumbled as his lips took yours hostage before he ducked to kiss your stomach over the shirt of his you wore. “Good morning my beautiful girls.”

“Love when you go full dad mode.” You beamed, watching as Dot stirred Bradleys shoulder. “It’s a real turn on.” Looking at his watch, which had no watch on it, Bradley mulled over his next move before shooting his shot.

“I reckon we’ve got about ten minutes before she’s up and at it.”

“Go—“ You giggled, racing out of Dot's room behind Bradley, two giggling messes, quietly shutting her door behind you. “Go!”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~

Author Note: If you would like to send in concepts for Terms of Endearment, requests are always open. xxx - Leah

(Dots Bed)

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