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fairysluna · 1 year

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NOT THE BEST IDEA — Modern!AU | Final Part.

MASTERLIST | A little playlist that helped me to write this fic.

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Reader x Cregan Stark.

Summary: While the guilt is eating you alive, Cregan seemed to grow worried about your sudden distance, and he suspects of what really happened in the Lake House. A big decision is to be made now that Aemond seems eager to gain you back.

Tags/TW: angst, hurt/comfort, mentions of blood, aemond being a menace, wounds, violence, mentions of murder, miscommunication, toxic behaviour, veeery brief smut at the end. If something is missing pls let me know!!

Author's Note: i never expected this story to be more than one part long, but here i am posting the fifth part bc you loved it so much!! thank you for reading this story and for showing your support, this is dedicated to every single one of you!!🤍

Word Count: 5.3k

Tag List: (bold means i couldn’t tag you) @immyowndefender @bellameshipper @mysticgothicgirl @aemondswifeisme @issshhh @serrhaewin @loglady00 @melsunshine @izzy-the-ginger @champomiel @iiamthehybrid @ghostheartbeat @introverbatim @earthangels-things @omgkatherine01 @flosaureum @justanotherkpopstanlol @tssf-imagines @doublesparrows @aaaaaamond

This must be a punishment from the Gods.

You were laying in your bed, feeling as if the whole weight of the world was on top of your weakened body. Turns out that the kiss Aemond stole from you not only left you feeling terrible, but it also caused you to get the flu.

Your throat was sore, and all beverages turned into torture to consume. Helaena has been kind to you, as she usually is, bringing you soups and herbs infusion that should be helpful to improve your sickly state. Cregan had gone to visit you too, taking chocolates, extra soft tissues and fast food. However, you would feel extremely guilty everytime he would arrive with his enormous smile by your side; after what had happened with Aemond, you no longer felt worthy of Cregan’s love.

He wasn't oblivious to your obvious and sudden change of attitude towards him. He knew that something was going on with you, but he couldn't find an answer to his questions, for you were refusing to speak with the pathetic excuse of having a sore throat. Though Cregan knew it was just a false justification, he didn't pressure you to tell him anything; he was hoping you would talk to him once you were ready to do so.

But he couldn't help thinking that it was something that he did.

And you were scared. Scared to face the truth and the consequences of them. Losing Cregan was, right now, your biggest fear; the fact that he could find out the truth and dump you for it was terrifying. You cannot allow it to happen, so you just find a solution by remaining quiet, without being conscious of the negative effect that it would have on Cregan.

Helaena would be the wise one, telling you that even if you were scared, it was the right thing to do. And still, you couldn't find the courage to do it.

"Aemond would make sure he knows," Helaena had told you, "and that will be so much worse because he will make it seem like you wanted it too."

"I should've left that bloody house as soon as I saw him there," you whined, trying to hold back tears as your beloved friend caressed your hair, "none of this would've happened if I had listened to Cregan."

"But it did," she told you, using that soft voice of hers that would always manage to calm you down, "it happened, y/n, and now you need to be honest with him… and with yourself."

"I am being honest with myself," you cried, "I don't love your brother, not anymore. Not when he is constantly making me feel like shit."

"Cregan needs to know this. He wouldn't get mad at you, he knows about Aemond, he had known him since high school!"

"But-"

"He's a good man. A genuinely good man," Helaena interrupted you, now standing up and grabbing the empty bowl of soup from your hands, "We both know that he's not Aemond. He will listen before he does something irrational."

Helaena left the room, and you curled up your body hugging a pillow as you felt the distress running up and down your weak body. You close your eyes for a moment, but the feeling of the tears falling down your cheeks made you roll your eyes with frustration, because even two years after your break up with Aemond he was still able to do this; to wreck you and leave you helpless, with your mind as a mess and your heart filled with sorrow.

You never thought you could hate someone in the way you hate Aemond right now.

When a very well known song sounded and echoed in the room, you knew it was Cregan calling you from work. You thought, for an instant, about letting the song play until he would get tired of waiting for you to pick up, but again, he didn't deserve it.

He didn't deserve any of this.

"Hi?" you said softly, trying not to sound as if you were just crying.

"Hey, love," he replied, and you swore you were able to hear the smile in his words, "How are you doing? Did you have a good night?"

You sighed, remaining quiet for a few minutes before actually saying something.

"Y-yeah… I've been doing well. Hel just cooked me soup for lunch," you mumbled.

"Oh, that's good," he cheered, "well, I hope you hadn't eaten too much because I just got out of work and I'm on my way to Wendy's. Do you want something special or just the same thing?"

"The same thing, I guess," you spoke half-heartedly, feeling the knot in your throat growing with each word.

There was silence in the other line, but you were still able to hear the soft music playing in the background so you guessed he was driving his car. Then, a sigh was heard, a heavy and tired sigh that made you close your eyes as the guilt returned to you. You knew exactly what it meant.

"Baby, can we talk once I get home?" He asked softly, patience showing in his voice.

You bit your lip and considered the answer to that; you really didn't want to talk, you weren't ready to do it, and yet, you agreed.

"Sure," you said in a choked sob, wiping the rebel tears with your free hand.

"Great, so… I'll see you later," there was a dubious pause in the middle of his words, as if he was debating whether to say something else or not. Eventually, he said, "I love you, y/n."

Your breath was caught in your throat as a cry threatened to escape you. A little voice in your head was constantly reminding you that you didn't deserve him, that he was too good for you, that you were unworthy of his love… and you started to believe it.

"See you later," you answered, your voice coming out shaky and breathy, so soft and low that Cregan was barely able to hear you.

And then, you just hang up.

On the other side of the line, Cregan’s eyes remained fixed in the screen of his phone as he was seeing the screen saver; a picture of you. His brow was furrowed as his heart ached a little, a bit hurted by the sudden distance you were installing between you both. He was growing desperate to know what was going on, though he was certain that Aemond was the one to blame; there was no other explanation.

The sound of the horns from the cars behind him were enough to wake him up from his trance, and he shook his head and started to drive. An anguish feeling growing inside his chest was barely letting him breathe, and the fear of losing you was starting to succumb him.

He bought the food, ordering your favorite meal and taking it to his car to then drive towards your home. His hands were shaking with expectation and nervousness, not being sure of what to say once he started this so-needed conversation. He tried to remain calm, playing some of his favorite tunes on the radio, but it would do little to help.

Once he parked his car, entered the main area and went into the lift, he bit his nails, seeing how the numbers would change in the tiny screen until it reached the number 7. The doors opened and he walked out, reaching the door that had a '7B' hanging from it, and knocked on the wood as he took a deep breath. A few minutes later, Helaena appeared in his sight, receiving him with the same kind smile as always.

"Hi, Hel," he spoke softly as she took a step aside to let him in.

"Hi, Creg," she said, before rushing her way back to the kitchen, where she was baking something that smelled too delicious. "She's been sleeping this whole time, she's getting better tho, the fever is gone."

"Good," he said a bit relieved, closing the door behind his back, "I brought some burgers, but I know you don't eat meat so I brought you some fries and an oreo smoothie."

"Thank you!" Heleana raised her voice for him to hear as he left the bag with food on the dining table. "I'm baking a lemon pie, so if you stay for supper you'll get a piece!"

"Now I will," he smiled before walking towards the kitchen, grabbing two plates to place the burgers and fries. He was about to pick them when he stopped for a moment and saw Hel cracking some eggs, he couldn't help but to ask, "what's been going on with her lately? Do you know something?"

He saw the way she tensed, he perceived the nervousness and how her hands slightly trembled. She swallowed hard, almost gulping out of nervousness, but she just ended up shaking her head, playing dumb.

"I don't know," she lied, shrugging, "but I don't think it's something that you should ask me."

"Yeah," he sighed, "you're right."

Helaena pressed her lips in a thin line as she saw him go to your room. She didn't pay any more attention to it, turning around to keep doing what she was doing, though, for some reason, she was left behind with some weird sensation installed in her chest.

Cregan opened the door of your room and saw your body covered in blankets, all curled up and hugging a pillow. He smiled softly, thinking that even now you were looking absolutely gorgeous. He looked at you for a while, observing your beauty as you slept. His attention, however, quickly went to the phone laying on the floor, so he left the plates on the nightstand and then he picked it up.

There were no notifications in it, and Cregan was not the kind of person who would lurk inside someone else's phone even when he was dying to know what you were hiding from him, so he just left it on your desk before he started to softly move your shoulders to wake you up.

You slowly opened your eyes, Cregan immediately noticed how swollen and red they were. There was no doubt that you were crying, and it killed him to think that you were not allowing him to help you.

"Hey," he cooed as he started to caress your hair.

Your eyes fluttered open and you slowly lifted your head to look at him. Your lips were dried and chapped, and you felt the need to drink water. Cregan noticed it, and he immediately grabbed the bottle of water to pour some of it into a glass and give it to you. You drank it all in less than four sips.

"I brought the food," he informed, taking one of the plates and leaving it in the bed as you sat up. "Hopefully it is still warm."

"Thank you," you weakly said, taking a few fries and putting them inside your hungry mouth. "How was work?"

"Boring as usual," he shrugged, "I couldn’t wait to see you. You look better."

"I feel better," you lied.

"Do you?"

"Yes, Helaena prepared me a soup and-"

"I think we need to talk," he interrupted you. You nervously ate a bunch of fries as you looked at the food in front of you, trying to avoid the eye contact that you knew would be the death of you.

"Okay…" you subtly nodded, "what is it?"

He grabbed your hand, and took a deep breath before he spoke, "I need to know what's going on, y/n. Ever since we returned from the Lake House you've been acting different."

"Cregan, I…"

"You've been ignoring me," he muttered, and the fact that you were able to hear the sadness reflecting in his deep voice made your heart ache.

"I haven't," you rushed to say.

"Yes, you have," he replied, speaking softly as usual, not wanting to raise his voice at you. He tried to remain calm, "don't- don't try to deny it. Have I done something that bothered you? Are you mad at me?"

"Of course not."

"How am I supposed to make you feel better if you keep pushing me away? We're going through something, you can't deny that, but I want to fix it. How are we going to work this out if you don't tell me what is wrong?"

You felt your nose itching, once again feeling the weight of the blame in your shoulders. It was a sensation that it was starting to suffocate you, almost unbearable.

"I'm begging you, y/n. Talk to me, whatever happened back there we can find a solution and make it better, I swear it."

"I- I can't…" you cried softly, wiping your own tears as you were now unable to hold his haze, "I can't do this now, I'm not ready."

"Love-"

"Cregan, I don't want to talk about this right now," you said, raising your voice to make him stop.

"You told me we would talk once I got here, and now I'm here," he sighed, losing his patience, "please, tell me. I can't do this anymore."

"Creg-"

"It's been five days!" he interrupted you as he stood up from the bed, louder words than before, "And in these five days you've told me you love just once, when you used to tell me that all the time! Is that what this is all about? You don't love me anymore?"

"Of course I love you!" you whined, standing up from the bed and walking towards him.

"Then what is it?" He lowered his voice once he saw you getting close, "Fuck, y/n, I need you to explain this to me, I'm losing my fucking mind."

"I just need time-"

"More time?" He scoffed, and it was probably the first time you've seen him mocking you this way, "Don't you see I'm fucking desperate?! My damn girlfriend is ignoring me! What am I supposed to think about that?"

"Cregan, you need to understand me," you spoke in a thin voice, reaching for his shoulder and trying to calm him down, "this is- is not easy for me either."

"Then let me help you!"

"You can't."

"Does this have something to do with Aemond?" He dared to ask, and your response immediately told him the answer.

You froze, as if the pure utterance of his bloody name brought chills into your spine. Your lower lip shook as your vision became blurry with threatening tears. Cregan let out a sly, mocking laugh as his hands brushed in his face.

"Cregan…" you tried to say, but he, once again, interrupted you.

"Something happened between you and him at the lake, right?"

Your head slightly shook, but Cregan was too blinded by his broken heart that he barely saw it. He just nodded, assuming his words were correct, and started to pick up his things.

"Fuck this," he muttered, and then you broke.

Thick tears running down your face as you saw your worst nightmare coming true. You tried to reach for his hand but he shoved it away before you could even touch him.

"Cregan, please…"

"I can't talk to you right now," he muttered, "just- just… fuck."

He opened the door of your room and slammed it behind his back. The sound made you shrink in your position as you stood there, still contemplating what had happened. You looked around and before you could drop on your knees, Helaena walked into your room.

Her haze softened in the minute she saw your poor state; trembling and sobbing quietly as your reddish face was soaked with tears. She rushed to your side and held you between her comforting arms.

That night, Helaena let you sleep in her room, cuddling you as you cried and constantly woke up from nightmares that tormented you not only while being awake, but also as you slept. Suddenly the flu was nothing compared to the thoughts that were haunting you even as you tried to find peace in your dreams.

Two days later you booked an emergency session with your therapist, and you told her everything. Every single detail of your life, your relationship, how you were feeling about them and about yourself. And the solution she gave was unexpected,

"Leave," she told you, "Sometimes running away is the bravest thing we can do. You will not be able to heal if you stay in the environment that broke you in the first place. It's like digging your finger in an open wound; it would only make things painful for you."

"What about Helaena?" You had asked.

"Helaena is your direct connection to Aemond," she tried to explain with soft words, trying not to make you panic, "I'm afraid you'll have to leave her behind until you know you are in a good mental state."

Those words were engraved in your mind, adding another negative thing in your life; leaving your best friend. Helaena has been your other half since you both met in preschool, never leaving her side, not even when you went to separate high schools. You would always find your way back to her.

For a long time you thought that Helaena was the one true love of your life, for her loyalty to you was beyond the charts, and vice versa. That's why the idea of being away from her was unthinkable until your therapist mentioned it… and now all you wanted to do was to cry. Cry until there is no more anguish inside of you, until it leaves you dry.

Of course you told Helaena. Later that day, when you both were in the living room watching some reality show, you opened your mouth because you couldn't hold it any longer. The bowl of popcorn between your hands was now on the center table as Helaena held you close, caressing your hair and tearing up too.

"It doesn't matter if you go to the other side of the world, y/n," she softly whispered, "we will always find our way to each other."

"You're my soulmate, Hel," you whispered back, wiping the tears that had fallen in your cheeks. "Probably the only one who ever truly loved me," you muttered the last words, and you quickly saw your best friend shaking her head with a gentle smile drawn upon her face.

"We both know that's not true," she said as she placed a strand of hair behind your ear.

And your haze quickly softened once you realized who she was referring to.

It's been three days, and the only messages you've been receiving from Cregan are 'good morning' and 'good night'. You knew for sure that all of this was your fault, the miscommunication and lack of honesty had brought the doom of your relationship with Cregan and you wondered if it was too late to save it.

But you owed it to him. Cregan loved you as much as you loved him, and for that you need to try.

A few days later, when the flu had already left your body and you finally got the guts to dare to speak about it, you sat on the balcony of your apartment, cuddling in the chair that you bought in a thrift store. The summer days were already leaving as a cold breeze sent you chills all over your body, making you shiver. Your phone was in front of you, and in the tiny screen it was Cregan's contact.

Just a tiny touch would do to start a very much needed call. You were longing to hear his voice again, soothing you as his strong and protective arms made you feel safe. You needed him.

You were alone in the apartment; Helaena went to an exhibition of bugs in the Natural Museum of Westeros with some of her work mates. She had invited you, but you rejected it; you needed to start to learn how to live away from her.

That's why it was so weird for you to hear noise inside the apartment, steps clicking against the wood of the old floor as your body froze with fear. Without even thinking, you stood up, and you committed the mistake of leaving your phone behind on the table in order to go and see what was going on.

You checked the rooms, the bathroom, the living room, and you couldn’t find anything out of place. You let yourself relax for a few seconds before hearing the fridge being open… and then you panicked even more when you noticed the main door being opened.

"Helaena?" You asked with a shaky voice, sneakily walking towards the kitchen being grateful for being barefooted, "Hel?"

And then you saw him.

Aemond turned around at the same time he closed the fridge. He was wearing all black and his eyepatch was nowhere to be seen. You were able to see the precious stone replacing his missing eye; a look that would make him appear even more intimidating than he already was. You shrunk in your position, feeling helpless and belittled with his mere presence.

The anguish returned to your chest, and the feeling of hopelessness was installed in you. Your lips were pressed in a thin line as your hands started to shake. Your mind felt dizzy and fuzzy with this unwanted visitor.

"What are you doing?" You asked in a breathless tone, as if you were too tired of repeating this all the time, "Gods, why can't you just leave the fuck alone?"

"I've came for what is mine," he answered, shrugging as a smug grin appeared in his lips, "I've came for you, y/n."

"I'm going to call the cops-"

"I'm not doing anything illegal," he mocked.

"You entered my house without my permission."

"My sister's house," he corrected you, "now, now... did you dump that stupid excuse of a man?"

"Don't talk about him like this," you threatened him, speaking sternly.

"Does he already know what happened between us, darling?" He stepped closer to you, and you looked up at him as he grabbed your chin, "does he know that you kissed me?"

"You kissed me!" you yelped, already feeling the itching in your nose announcing the upcoming tears.

"And you kissed me back," he pointed out.

"You- you forced me to-"

"No excuses, love, I know what happened between us that night, you barely fought against me," he leaned closer to your lips until he was close enough to rub your nose against his, "you wanted it as much as I did."

And then, you were under his spell again. Your breath shaking as you tried to sigh to regain some of the strength you've lost in his presence, but with him it was impossible.

His hand wrapped around your waist, pulling you close to him as his other hand wrapped in around the side of your neck, keeping you still. You could only look at him, for your limbs were unresponsive to your consciousness, and no matter how hard you tried to pull away, you just couldn't bring yourself to do it. You froze in your place.

"Mhm… you're going to be mine forever, darling," he said, now brushing his lips with yours, "I will make sure everyone knows it."

You closed your eyes, and tears fell down from them as soon as you did.

"Everyone will know that Cregan's little girlfriend belongs to me now."

And then it hit you right there, like a hard slap across your face.

Aemond never loved you, and he never will.

For him, you were nothing but a trophy to brag about with others, a sign that he had finally won something over Cregan Stark. Aemond saw you as a consolation prize after all the times he lost against him, after all the competitions where Aemond was second place. In his eyes, you were just another thing to compete for.

Suddenly, something switched within you. The sadness that used to make you freeze in front of his respectable frame was now becoming something else; rage. Anger washed over you as you finally woke up from those dreams your past self had left behind. You started to breathe faster, heavier, your face turning red as your tears stopped from falling.

A feeling was installed in your chest, the same one that you felt the day when you saw Aemond and his new girlfriend. A feeling that made you see only red.

With a strength you didn't even know you had, you pushed him away. He took it by surprise and stumbled backward until his back reached the fridge, dropping a few magnets in the process. The madness was clear in your face, your exorbitant eyes staring at him as he tried to regain his composure in order to grab you again. But before he could get any closer to you, you grabbed a knife from the center table and quickly put it against his neck.

His eye widened with surprise as he gulped, and once he tried to move you away from him, you buried the blade against his skin, not so deep but enough to cause a small cut and let some drops of his blood fall down his milky skin.

"I won't let you ruin my life!" You yelled between sobs and gasps, "Not anymore!"

"Y/n…"

"I should've fucking killed you at Helaena’s party!" you screamed, as you saw a glimpse of fear on Aemond's eye, "Get out of my life, leave me fucking alone!"

Your yells became a bit too loud and you didn't even notice. You were out of your mind, completely blinded by the rage and the adrenaline rush of the moment. Aemond was trying to calm you down, visibly anxious with the situation he was in. He never expected you to react this way, to actually put a knife against his throat, he was actually fearing for his life as he saw the crazy look in your face.

You lost it, you had gone mad thanks to him.

"If you ever dare to fuck with me or Cregan I'm going to fucking kill you, Aemond!" You threatened him, grunting as you push the blade a bit harder, now the blood staining his clothes and your hand, "I'm not fucking lying, you better leave alone."

Aemond gulped and slightly nodded, but before he could even pronounce a word, you felt a presence behind your back. You followed Aemond's haze until you found Cregan's frame, looking at you with widened eyes and a confused look in his face.

Your eyes instantly softened with the sight of him, and the knife in your hand fell onto the floor setting Aemond free from your grip and threats. You started to shake, and feel weak; it was as if all the emotions arrived into your body at once making you feel like you were about to faint. You eyed Aemond who was grabbing his throat and looking down at your bloody hands with an horrified look, as if he could not believe what had just happened.

It was so fast, that you barely regained consciousness of yourself when you started to feel your breathing fastening and your heart beating too loud. Your vision became blurry and seconds before it turned black, you felt a pair of arms holding you tight against a firm chest. You felt everything around you disappear once the sweet cologne of your boyfriend reached your nose, leaving a feeling of peace before you passed out.

You didn't know how much time had passed before you woke up, but you knew whose arms were surrounding your body, making you feel safe. Cregan noticed your eyes fluttering open and he quickly started to loose his grip so you could properly move. The first thing you did once your eyes were fully open, was to search for his face. His beautiful, ethereal face.

His hand immediately went to your cheek, which had a stain of dried blood that he had not been able to clean as you were sleeping. He used his thumb to wipe the dry tears out of your eyes and then you sighed.

"Aemond kissed me," you finally confessed, your voice sounding raspy and lower than usual.

"When?" He asked, without stopping his caresses on your face.

"At the Lake House."

"Did you kiss him back?"

You took a minute to think about it. You did kiss him back, but it was because he had forced you to do it. The mere memory brought tears upon your already swollen and red eyes.

"Y-yes…" you replied unsure, making it sound more like a question rather than an affirmation.

"And what did you feel?"

You frowned, "what?"

"When he kissed you," he explained, "what did you feel?"

Your bottom lip slightly trembled, and Cregan was quick enough to take his thumb to it, caressing it with care and delicacy. Inevitably, a couple tears escaped from you.

"I thought that I would feel something," you confessed, "but the only thing I felt was fear, of you finding out and leaving me for it."

"And when you kiss me?" he asked shyly, in a whisper that you were only able to hear thanks to the proximity between you two, "when I touch you? what do you feel then?"

It was indescribable, you thought. His mere presence was enough to bring calmness to you, to make you feel good and relaxed. It was something that no one had made you feel before, something that you didn't experience until you met him.

You couldn’t find the word to describe it, but you chose the word that seemed to be close enough,

"Peace," you muttered, taking your hand and placing it in his cheek.

"Peace?" He asked, and you nodded.

"When I was with Aemond, everything felt like waves crashing against my body in a sea which I could never leave," you shrugged, now going to his soft brown hair, stroking it with much care. "It was as it was drowning me, tossing me around without letting me escape… until I met you."

Cregan swallowed nervously, and you could perceive a slight rose color in his cheeks.

"You made it stop, Cregan. You brought calmness and peace to my life," your voice came out shaky and whiny as you started to sob. He wiped your tears as you sniffed and then, you continued, "You saved me from drowning, you pulled me out of the ocean."

You saw his eyes gleaming as he stared quietly back at you. You saw his pupils dilated after each word you would say. He never, not even for an instant, stopped watching you.

"I love you more than I ever loved anyone before. I'm in love with you in every sense of the word. And I'm sorry if I was a shitty person and allowing you to think otherwise, I would never forgive myself for that… but I was so fucking scared of losing you because of what had happened. I was scared of hurting you."

He remained quiet, his eyebrows slightly furrowed as his lips parted a little, as if he wanted to say something but he regretted instantly.

"So now I beg you to forgive me. I cannot lose you, Cregan. I- I love you so much that I feel I can't live without you anymore," you shrugged, feeling your cheeks soaked with your tears, "And I know that right now you're probably seeing me as a fucking psycho, as mad woman, but please, please, Cregan, I beg you to-"

His lips silenced you in the most romantic way as he softly kissed you, holding your face in a delicate manner that actually made you forget about the rest of the world. The only thought in your mind now was the fact that Cregan was yours once again, and that you were his in the same way.

Your heart barely burst once you felt his sweet caresses, and you heard his soft 'i love yous' against your lips as his arms returned to their favorite position: around you.

With breathless words, he whispered once he had the strength to pull away from your lips, "Let us get away from here… come to the North with me, away from everything that troubles you. We can be happy that I promise you."

"Cregan…" you gasped softly.

"No more tears for you, I promise you that. You would never get to feel as if you were drowning, because I'll make sure you won't."

"But-"

"We can find a small apartment for the both of us, we can have a new beginning together…" he muttered, pecking your lips every now and day, "I'll make sure to find an apartment with two bedrooms, so Hel can come and visit us whenever she pleases… what do you think?"

And then, after days of feeling completely miserable and unhappy, a genuine smile appeared on your face as the tears dried in your cheeks and you nodded. Cregan chuckled softly,

"Yes?" He asked, smiling back at you.

"Yes," you said, grabbing his face just to kiss him once again.

The need to show your love once again started to create a heat between you two. The big fight was over, your troubles will soon vanish, you had never felt more happy than you felt in that little intimate moment. It was all you ever needed.

Soon your clothing started to disappear with the increasing need of feeling each other's body pressing. The necessity of feeling him closer than that. The kisses deepened, your hands became more curious and your breaths became heavier with each passing minute.

Sweet moans were heard a few minutes later as Cregan was thrusting inside of you. Your arms and legs wrapped around his big and wide body, holding him close with the fear of losing him again.

Your eyes closed as Cregan softly moaned against your ear, whispering sweet nothings and kissing your neck. You couldn't help but smile, feeling so loved, so treasured. Each touch would translate into an unspoken 'I love you'.

Right there in that moment you knew everything would be fine. All the nightmares had disappeared from your life, and a new beginning was finally waiting for you.

And you couldn't wait to see it.

365 notes · View notes

evelhak · 4 months

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[requests closed]

Okay, my KnB mutuals, friends and strangers alike, the day has come.

I'll tag some people off the top of my head, because then I don't get to secretly wish no one saw this, so I would be off the hook. @lylakoi @vespersposts @active-mind-15 @ni-kol-koru @misfitmiska @myndless88 @kurokonobrainrot @japeneselunchtimerush @shutokushintaro @kucho04 @deargravity @raspberrylix

Whether you're tagged or not is actually inconsequential for the rest of the post.

I never thought of doing events for hitting any follower count, EXCEPT I told myself a long time ago that

once I have 1111 followers (only because I will realistically never have 11 111) I will do something stupid in the spirit of this string of numbers.

In other words

✨I welcome you all to torture me✨

(if you want.)

Now is your chance to ask someone to do anything you want.

To write any fic, draw any fan art, or create any other type of fan content you want (edits and AMVs count too, in fact, if you tell me to bake a cake or knit a scarf with your idea, I will do it) and you may be as mean about it as you wish. Complete disregard for my feelings is encouraged.

I'm not saying you have to be intentionally sadistic about it, that's not the point, the point is that you get to do what you please, whether it makes me suffer or not.

Do you have an idea you wanted to make but didn't dare because you feared fandom hate? I'll take the hit.

Want me to write about a ship I love cheating on each other? I'll do it.

Want me to draw a ship I hate, doing something shippy? Name the ship.

Is there an AU you want to see? There's a good chance I will squirm through it, but squirm I shall.

Have a particularly gross headcanon you've wanted to see but didn't dare to make it?

You get the idea.

(Of course, how much you know about my likes and dislikes depends on how long you've known me, but since the point isn't really to ask me to do what I hate, it's for you to get the total freedom of not caring about the preferences of the person you're requesting something from, don't get hung up on that.)

For this one time, and one time only, I am your daredevil, I am your genie in the bottle.

Your rules are simple:

if you want, ask me to create anything you wish, give me your most selfish or egotistical KnB desire

you can be as vague or as detailed as you want

don't go easy on me, don't tone it down because you want to spare me

if you're wondering if you can request something the answer is yes

however if your most selfish desire is a sketch of some characters on a picnic then that is exactly right, you don't need to shock anyone on purpose, you can ask for anything that is true to you

My rules are:

I am not allowed to complete a request I hate in the easiest way I can imagine, my goal is to transform that hate into love

I must approach everyone's ships and headcanons and visions as seriously and with as much love as I would my own

the only occasion I will not do something is if it significantly impacts my mental health for the worse

My brain is ridiculously one track, and super attached to my own headcanons, my one vision for everything, so believe me when I say this could easily get hard for me. That's the point. Obviously I'm doing this for shits and giggles, but the underlying drive is also to give myself some tough love and Spartan treatment, for character building. Let's smash my One True Headcanon brain (for a moment, before I go right back to my preferences, hopefully taking something valuable and more permanent with me from the experience).

I will keep this open for three days. If I get too many requests, I will draw five out of a hat, or something. : D I'll finish them during 2024.

Like I said, I didn't tag anyone on purpose or leave anyone out on purpose so no matter how you pass by this post you're free to do as you please with it or ignore it, obviously. Anons are also fine, by the way.

(If you feel like inviting more chances for me to potentially cry, reblogging is fine too.)

#someone may have told me to branch out #probably not what they meant but let's go #let's torture eve event #knb

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localratman · 4 months

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skybound Thoughts

sooo uh, im thinking about doing a rewrite of ninjago skybound.

im currently rewatching it because of this, and in case i never get around to actually writing anything, im gonna word-vomit onto this hellsite (affectionate) cuz im having Thoughts.

quick tangent though, skybound seems very similar to danny phantom (at least in how the fandom treats it) in the sense that, when you actually watch it, it's pretty tame and honestly kinda shit. but then you dig deeper. and you see the Implications and Possibilities, and suddenly it has you by the throat with all the ways this could have gone if it wasn't a kids show.

like, in skybound you get genuine torture and creepy implications on nadakhan's part (seriously, get away from jay and nya you fucking creep), and while it's never really explored since, y'know, kids show, it makes nadakhan one of the best and most terrifying villains i personally have watched in ninjago.

anyway, here are a couple of things i've been toying with in terms of a possible rewrite:

one thing im thinking about taking from various other fics i've seen (i think its mainly shown in bending but never breaking, which is an absolutely amazing fic and you should go read it but MIND THE TAGS AND TRIGGER WARNINGS PLEASE) is jay learning to use the electricity in his body, though obviously not painlessly

bonus points for his elemental power getting royally fucked up once/if the vengestone is removed, but in the sense of suddenly he is completely overwhelmed and his power is so much stronger and its a danger to both himself and others

queerplatonic jaya: i think in this season especially, nya felt very aroace coded (i might just be projecting as i myself am aroace, but that's the vibe i got) and so for a skybound rewrite nya and jay would have a serious conversation about how nya doesn't feel that way for anyone, even if she *does* really like jay

just general angst and torture

id rewrite jays obsession with nya, specifically his first wish (if i dont just jump right into him being on misfortunes keep)

i think id like to do something more with delara than just her being some dead girlfriend. i.e.: i'd make her fucking unhinged and the kind of person that would fall in love with and support nadakhan.

i really liked @cotidianoseeder's idea for canary!jay, so possibly something in that direction

i also really like it when people keep serpentine aspects in jays character, so some of that as well

fuck it, make him inhuman, y'know?

i'd age everyone up i think (i dunno how old they are in skybound, but a 17 minimum would be in my rewrite)

OH! i'd put bruiseshipping as a romantic relationship cuz i love them

nya would make the final wish, since a big part of her character would be forging her own story and taking control of her own life

zanes falcon would survive cuz i love that fucking bird

echo would be taken off the island post-rewind

what do y'all think??? i keep having more ideas, i might post them

#ninjago #skybound #skybound ninjago #ninjago season 6 #ninjago s6 #jay walker #nya smith #ninjago nadakhan #ninjago rewrite #ninjago rewatch

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vylad243 · 2 months

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I just wanted to tell you how much I adore your writing and characterizations for Hazbin Hotel! Vox is my favorite character and radiostatic my favorite ship and I keep finding myself revisiting your fics over and over again because of how wonderfully you portray them

I wanted to ask about any radiostatic/Vox-centric headcanons you might have floating around in your head?

Thank you! Sorry it took so long to respond! I was using this ask to cheer me up while I was grieving, so thank you for sending it! Vox is my favourite too! (Hence why I torture him)

Thank you so much for reading my fics ^-^ I'm so glad you've been enjoying them. I love reading comments and asks about them. Makes me feel giddy

I have a few! I also have a few secretive ones in my fic that will be mentioned here

Vox is FTM! He gives me those vibes and my sister agreed with me.

Vox being able to reproduce is another one. I don't really do Mpreg (I did once for my friend to make her feel better. It was Lorax x Jesus and never again) so don't expect to see any mpreg Vox, but he can. My headcanon is that a select few (specifically ones who despise children or have no desire to reproduce or are trans) are able to carry. All biological males are able to reproduce

Vox had heterochromia when he was alive! One blue and one brown

Vox has three sisters. One older and two younger. They're unnamed

Vox's dead name is Valerie! His nickname was 'Ree'.

Vox is bi demisexual specifically in my AU

Vox's sexual trauma is based off of mine and my friend's sexual trauma. She used to be a lot more sexual and now hides her body, while I am now more 'slutty' and tend to show off a bit more when I used to wear baggy clothes. We swapped personalities fr. It's why Vox is so hot and cold. One minute he feels confident- the next it's the wrong kind of attention and he covers up and hides himself

Vox isn't a blueblood because he's a sinner, but sometimes his blood bleeds cyan blue if he's charged up enough. It's why all his scars and scabs are cyan blue

Vox is technically Lucifer's adopted brother in my au and that makes him Charlie's uncle!

Vox's powers are fueled by attention. It's why he's so needy and public all the time. He needs attention to keep producing electricity for all of Hell

Vox's royalty rank falls under "brings joy to hell." That is his duty and what he does

Papermint has been in Hell longer than Vox

Vox spawned into Hell on Extermination Day

Vox found Velvette fighting for her life and he helped her. That's how they met. Vox still feels the need to protect her. He did not help her rise to Overlord though. He wanted her to do it herself

I mentioned in my fic that Alastor gave Vox a knife before they grew apart! That was Alastor's first courting gift to Vox, but neither Alastor nor Vox were aware

Alastor and Vox have the similar powers! The difference is Vox embraces it while Alastor prefers to keep it on the downlow. Alastor brought radiowaves to Hell while Vox brought electricity

Vox wears tight dresses occasionally to check his weight, yes Alastor found out and promptly tore up the dresses so Vox wouldn't starve himself

Alastor fell first and fell harder while Vox is a little oblivious

Alastor rejected Vox all those years ago because he didn't like the idea of 'sharing Vox' but wasn't going to force Vox to pick between him and Valentino

Alastor regrets not making Vox pick

Vox had a scar on his eyebrow when he was alive

That's all I can think of at the top of my head!

#hazbin hotel #vox hazbin hotel #anonymous #radiostatic #hazbin hotel alastor #a month in rut #vylad's random headcanons #headcanons

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arcielee · 1 year

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Interview With a Writer

Here is part 3 of my Interview With a Writer series. You can go to this post to review the other amazing authors I have spoken with ♥ Just a BTS of some of the talented minds on Tumblr and ao3.

Name: inthedayswhenlandswerefew

Story: North to the Future

Paring: modern Aegon Targaryen x Reader

Rating/Warning: Sexual themes, substance abuse, acts of violence, and there is a serial killer, so murder.

So when did you start writing? I can remember working on pieces of stories as far back as elementary school, but I never thought of myself as wanting to be a writer. Then in 2010, when I was 15, I got my first vivid, all-consuming, lightning bolt of an idea. It took over my life in the best possible way and I wrote a novel over 9 months.

Now, to be clear, the novel was very bad. But you have to read a lot and write a lot before you start getting good at it, and that experience was absolutely transformative for me.

I had a lot of chaotic life situations and a bit of a crisis of confidence, and I wrote only sporadically during college and for several years afterwards. Then in 2018, I saw Bohemian Rhapsody and it became my only personality trait for a while.

As I was reblogging a million gifsets on Tumblr, I stumbled across fanfiction for the first time, and I was like…wait…other people make up self-insert stories every time they get obsessed with a movie/show too?! It was so exciting, I finally felt like I had an outlet to put my ideas and characters out into the world. I’ve been writing pretty consistently since February 2019, and I would consider that the point when I really became a writer.

I think it is safe to say every writer has that first, all-consuming novel. Does it still exist? Oh yeah, it definitely still exists! I have a Word Doc, and also a paper copy that I had printed and bound at Staples back in the day. It’s a dystopian story about a man who has to pretend to be a true believer in an oppressive regime in order to rise to the top and change it from within, but by the end of the journey he’s become sort of genuinely evil. I keep the paper copy in a box under my bed. Poor quality notwithstanding, it has a lot of sentimental value.

Okay, where did the plot for North to the Future come from? What inspired the story? Towards the end of writing my Aemond fic—Have You No Idea That You’re In Deep?—I started feeling this fascination with Aegon as a character, and I could kind of sense that there was a story about him ready to be excavated from wherever ideas wait to be discovered.

I kept picturing him in an unassuming little bar filled with Christmas lights as snow fell outside: sad, drunk, wearing all black. But I didn’t have a story yet, just a vision. And the songs I kept hearing when I thought about this tortured modern Aegon were 90s songs: Everlong, A Long December, Drive.

Then one day out of nowhere, the plot showed up.

The first real idea I get for a story is always the very end, and I saw Aegon and the protagonist barreling down the Pacific Coast Highway in a red convertible. I knew that Aegon was sober and going back home to face some terrible past, and that the girl he loved was experiencing California for the first time, and that they were both finally free of demons they’d been running from their whole lives. Once I knew the ending, the rest of the details started falling into place, and within a few days I had an outline and chapter list.

Explain your interpretation of Aegon. What drives him? Why is he the way he is in NttF? Aegon is a talented and intuitive person, but he’s clearly not suited for running a venture capital empire or corporate work in general. So his earliest, most formative memories are of his parents (and grandfather) being disappointed in him. He experienced abuse, both emotional and physical, and developed extremely harmful coping mechanisms that at a certain point he no longer knew how to function without. He was suicidal in part because of his self-loathing and the futility of his situation, but also because the only time he received even vague compassion from his parents was after he had swallowed a bottle of pills or stabbed himself with four of his mother’s EpiPens.

Of course what Aegon overlooked was that he did have people back in Miami who cared about and wanted to help him, although they were too young to effectively communicate it: Aemond, Helaena, and Daeron.

After the accident that claimed Aemond’s eye and three innocent lives, Aegon can’t cope with reminders of what he’s done because he’s fundamentally not someone who ever wants to hurt others. He directs his destructiveness inwards, not outwards, and even when striking out in self-defense he runs away as soon as the opportunity presents itself. That’s the real difference between Aegon and Jesse. When Dadtini talks about Jesse, he mentions bruises and kicked down doors. That’s not Aegon. Jesse gives bruises, Aegon gets them.

Was there anything in specific that inspired your Reader portrayal? I didn’t consciously have anyone in mind when I was writing Appletini, but most of my Readers tend to be snarky, studious, and guarded (yet reluctantly hopeful), so that’s probably my own personality bleeding into the characters! I envisioned someone who was well-intentioned and ostensibly responsible, yet under the surface struggling in a way that she felt she couldn’t share with anybody else. I think most people have felt like that at some point in their lives, so it’s just a matter of being able to take the essence of that feeling and shape it to fit with the story’s narrative. Honestly, the most difficult part of writing Appletini was her relationship with her extremely supportive and functional parents, as that’s not something I have much experience with. I was really relieved when people connected with Momtini and Dadtini as characters because I wasn’t sure if I was doing them justice. In what ways do you feel your Reader compliments Aegon? The defining characteristic of the Aegon/Appletini relationship is that she wants him to become the best version of himself, and truly believes that he has the capacity to if he’ll work for it. She knows he’s brilliant, she knows he’s a genuinely good person under all of his issues and mistakes, she knows he’s fine af, and she knows she loves him. But none of that is enough if he’s not sober.

Someone like Heather or Joyce wouldn’t see value in Aegon, and someone like Kimmie wouldn’t push him to change. The story is in the war that Appletini fights to prove that Aegon can and should conquer his demons. Similarly, Aegon wants Appletini to break free of her suffocating obligations in Juneau, and it causes him genuine pain to see her not living the life she wants. They really want the best for each other, even in their worst moments.

Was there another character (OC or canon) in your story you enjoyed portraying? (And why?) Firstly, I really enjoyed writing Kimmie because she’s a twist on the trope of the attractive, overtly-sexual, not terribly intellectual girl always getting killed in horror movies. Kimmie is the “hot friend” and she loves to party, but she’s also deeply loyal and affectionate, and she notices certain things that other people don’t. I wanted the readers to underestimate her, and then hate her, and then come back to realizing that she wasn’t a villain after all. She could use a better sense of boundaries, but she’s a good person. I feel like by the end of NTTF, it’s clear why Heather, Joyce, and Appletini are friends with Kimmie despite all her…peculiarities.

Secondly, Trent was a super fun character to write, because he’s unnerving without being completely unrealistic. He reminds me of a lot of the frat boys I went to college with…superficially pleasant yet entitled, less malicious than willfully ignorant about anything that doesn’t fit with what he wants in life. He’s a product of the “boys will be boys” era that he grew up in, especially with Alaska being more old-fashioned than the rest of the country, so the 1990s there feel like the 1960s or 70s in some ways. Also, I can’t lie, I loved all the dumb horse boi jokes.

Finally, I absolutely adored Aemond as a character and I was just as impatient as the readers were for him to finally show up in Chapter 11. He’s so stoic and fierce, but he has a tremendous amount of love for Aegon and this blind faith in his ability to change for the better. Aemond’s personality is a lot like Appletini’s, which is why they end up having this tacit respect for each other. I think they end up as close friends eventually, probably even closer than Aemond and Aegon.

Was there an OC character that reflects the author? Out of all the NTTF characters, I am definitely the most like Heather! I’m that friend who is snarky and judgmental on the surface, but also ferociously protective…which can be tough when you’re watching your friends make questionable decisions, like our poor beloved Heather was forced to throughout the series. I know she was thrilled to see that everyone ended up happy. That’s all we really want, us Heathers of the world.

You mentioned your retirement from fan fiction, so what is next? What’s next is writing a novel, which I am super excited about! I’ve had the plot figured out for a few years now and have written bits and pieces of it already, but now I’m determined to dive in without any creative detours and get it written, hopefully within a year.

I do have some trepidation about the project—What if the idea isn’t good? What if I can’t do it justice? What if I can’t keep to a schedule now that I don’t have an amazingly wonderful audience expecting weekly updates?—but I’ve come to realize that if I never try to be a “real” writer, I’m going to regret it my whole life. I’m trying to be logical about it and tell myself that even if my first book isn’t perfect, I can always write others, so it’s not like my whole future is contingent upon this one project. I’ve had the idea for so long that the characters feel real to me, and I just want to tell their story well.

#interview with a writer #iwaw3 #bts #of their brilliant writing #i hope you all enjoy #♥#aegon targaryen fanfic #aegon targaryen x reader #aegon ii fanfic #aegon ii x you #biiiiiiitch

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takearisk-x · 5 months

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Hey Hannah, could we get some headcanons of Hinny in TPFY and AG? I just want to see how they differentiate between the two stories.

it's so funny to me that this time last year i was asking myself this exact question. but i haven't done this little thought experiment for quite a while because pretty quickly the two ginnys solidified into very different versions her and they definitely take up very different headspaces throughout the stories. honestly even in my own planning and perceptions of them.. they are two very separate people. that sounds so weird because in theory they ARE the same character, but at the same time i did have to find some differences to make the fics unique, and for the prose and narration to sound fresh.

with that being said, this is going to be so disorganized and disjointed. i already know half of it isn't going to make sense to anyone but me, but life is nuts, it's where my head's at right now, and i can't change it.

here goes nothing

i guess i can start with how they are similar? in both stories, the seven books are canon. they are a great foundation and framework for me to work in, i know each book like the back of my hand and i really had no desire to try to tweak or change anything in the original text.

HOWEVER, the main difference between the two, is the path from you is not epilogue compliant. and that was born from several questions that haunted me for about a decade before i even had the idea or the inclination to write hp fanfiction. but the main two i wanted to explore and answer were 1) did ginny really know it was harry that walked past her on his way to the forest? i'm pretty sure she did. so how does she react to something like that? how does that fit into their relationship arc and how does him not stopping parallel other things in their relationship? and 2) what happened to her at hogwarts in her 6th year? how did that affect her in the weeks, months, years afterward?

so why do those questions need to be explored and answered in an canon (read: epilogue) divergent setting? mostly because i didn't really like the epilogue (🤷) but also because it seemed like a two birds one stone situation. i needed time and space between 'the end' (chap 1, which really exists as a prologue?) and 'the beginning' (chap 2, which is when we pick up after the time jump). for maximum angst, tension, and storytelling potential.

so in short, tpfy!ginny is defined by her reaction to harry's march to death/faked death, and her reaction to her own experiences (trauma) during the occupied year at hogwarts.

once i had that story/plot idea in mind. i really started to try and shape ginny into a coherent personality. i mean we have the framework, right? we know what she's like at school, we know what her family and what her classmates say about her, and we know how she acts and interacts when she is in scenes with harry. but how does that become a person. i settled on five (ish) defining character traits (which are basically just a textbook enneagram 8)

Ginny is self-reliant and self-confident. she want's to prove her strength and resist any weakness, she wants to be important in the world, she wants to be a decision maker in her own life/situation, and she wants to be in control of those situations.

the main conflict then became, the way tpfy!ginny feels about harry makes her feel out of control, or another way of putting it, is she can't control how she feels about him. it's instinctual, overwhelming, and it scares her a bit because she doesn't feel like she is in control of her decisions when it comes to him. loving him, caring about him, putting his needs before hers, are all things that she does that don't feel like conscious decisions. this is directly at war with her base personality.

which i've got to say, has been so fun to write. i just torture her, i know i do.

moving on

already gone was born from a place of curiosity and literally took on three or even four different forms before it was an amenesia fic. i had spent nearly a year working on the path from you and was trying to find ways to piece harry and ginny back together again in this altered timeline, and one night i was just like.. 'how the fuck did they do this right away??' i really honestly just wanted to figure it out, for my own peace of mind. how did they get back together within a canon (read: epilogue) compliant timeline.

so i started brainstorming, and i wrote a really angsty post-war oneshot for @hinnyfied's birthday and i thought... this might be something. i might have something here.

but then i was like HOW is she different from tpfy!ginny? because she has to be... but she also still has to be ginny!? but for all the wonderful characteristics she possesses, those same traits can be her own worst enemy (which in tpfy they are)

so in already gone, what is the catalyst that sends her down a different path? i decided it was mostly pretty simple... ag!ginny, didn't make the connection, or at least didn't know for sure that harry walked by her on his way into the forest. the rustle she heard was just that, a rustle. i also decided that the events during her 6th year maybe weren't as horrifying(?), trauma inducing (?), specific to just her(?), as they are in tpfy.

but these were all decisions i made when i was just attempting to write a summer '98 a story.

i really didn't settle on the amnesia plot until two or three months later, because as much as i wanted that summer to be an angsty will they/won't they... it just wasn't. harry and ginny took on a completely different relationship arc than what i had planned and it became, not a story of reconciliation, which i so desperately wanted, but a story of mutual dependency, and the idea that home for them isn't a place, but a person. their relationship (and i do mean both of them, this isn't exclusive to just harry) post-war wasn't born out of shared interests, and sense of humor, and similar values, but of a deep understanding that some wounds don't heal, and some grief can't be quantified. but with that understanding, they can still move forward and live with it. as long as they're together.

so then i was a real bitch and i took it away.

whoops.

BUT THEN THE REALLY FUN PART STARTED HAPPENING

because while i like to assume ginny is deeply affected by her experience with the diary, by order of the phoenix she has either buried it so deep in an effort not to process, OR processed it enough that she can hide any lingering thoughts or actions that might still plague her because of it. she is not defined by her trauma. she has outwardly overcome.

she is also in her peak "i am over harry potter" phase.

like c'mon. that's hilarious. because she wakes up married to him.. and she is also thrown back into an (outwardly) well-adjusted mindset. which could possibly (i will neither confirm or deny this at present because spoilers) throw a big wrench into her relationship that is rooted in shared trauma and the understanding of that trauma. cannot stress this enough, already gone harry and ginny were and are co-dependent. but i sort of love that for them?

ANYWAYS

i've rambled enough. i hope this makes at least some sort of sense. and thanks so much for reading both stories!

#this is so fucking long i am so sorry #tl:dr tpfy!ginny is defined by her trauma and ag!ginny is defined by her lack of it #also i just realized your question asked about hinny and i sort of just rambled about ginny so if you want more details about harry hmu #thanks for the question! and for reading!!!!#it made my day when i got this ask <3 #anon #answered

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littlerosette · 8 months

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favorite fic dynamics

i saw a post recently by @onwriting-hrarby where she described three of her favorite relationship dynamics that she wrote in her fics and i wanted to try it too! so these are mine, and like she said in her post, feel free to do it too!

number three: eren and mikasa’s complicated friendship in “second impressions.” there’s an old love there that’s at the root of everything they do and everything they say to each other, but it’s become twisted due to eren’s initial antagonism towards her, then due to reveal of what he did while with zeke. aka the “no one knows me like you do. no one can hurt me like you can” pair.

“I heard a troubling rumor,” he said, finally glancing up at her. In his eyes, she found stone, the harsh edge of granite, cutting into her. “About a boy we both knew.”

Mikasa bit into the soft muscle of her cheek, tasting iron. Her breath caught in her chest, twisting painfully, and all she could think was: who? Who saw us? Who told?

What did they say?

Did they describe:

Eren with his hand around her forearm, snarling. Mikasa glaring up at him. Both of them spitting at each other, hurling insults, seeking to inflict injury onto the tender places only known between them, simply because they could, because it was easy to press on each other’s bruises like children and say, see? See what I can do to you?

number two: padmé and vaderkin in the “the devil wept.” not a lot has been explored about their relationship just yet, but i want to say that they have an intimate loathing towards each other. it will grow even deeper once their spiritual connection starts to really manifest. aka the “i hate him so much that sometimes when i look at him, i can hardly breathe” pair.

She flinches when she hears him, but doesn’t turn around, keeping her back to him. Vader stares at it, fantasizing about how easy it would be to skewer through it. She was slim, petite and underfed. It would take barely any effort at all.

“I can feel what you’re thinking,” she says in her bravest voice, finally chancing a look at him. Her face is blanched pale. “My only request is that you make it quick.”

Vader regards her as she sits up. Her fingers curl around the edge of her durasteel bench-bed, visibly shaking. She makes such a compellingly sad image that he finds himself wanting to take her up on the offer, if only to quell the rampaging beast inside him; it wants his teeth around her neck. Her blood in his mouth.

number one: eren and mikasa’s tortured longing in “you are the knife i turn inside myself.” this fic was fascinating to write because i was in love with the idea of writing a love story that felt painful and reluctant. mikasa never really forgets who he is throughout the story, but she allows herself to love him despite never truly forgiving him. eren, meanwhile, deludes himself into believing that she is the exception of her kind, and only vows to change his worldview at the end, so we never see his true metamorphosis. it’s a bittersweet love story. aka the “i longed for him and he disgusted me” pair.

“And if you want to turn me away that’s okay too,” he says, wrecked. “I-I’ll accept it. I’ll give you money so that you can buy food and shelter and I’ll—“

She shushes him, lifting his head from her knees and sliding her palms over his cheeks. She stares down at him, at his wet, vibrant green eyes and the tear marks that slip down to his chin. He has the face of a murderer. She’s seen it. She’s seen what his hands look like when coated with blood, and she despises him for how profoundly he can hate what he doesn’t understand, and yet—

And yet she loves him too. She loves him despite the fact; she loves him because of it. It’s not the airy, light feeling she’s heard about from her older sisters. It’s deep and sinking. It claws and twists and maims at her from the inside, but it’s hopeful. Love is hopeful. Loving him will always feel like taking a leap of faith.

this was fun!! i love this idea so much, hera😭❤️

#tdw readers look especially at the first one lmao #drawing a lot of inspo from that dynamic #anidala #eremika #my fics #the devil wept #witch-hunter #second impressions #fic game

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imekitty · 1 year

Note

Prompt Idea: Inspired by your tiny geometries fanifc, I think you should do an fanfic where vlad kidnaps danny and forces him to be his son. Danny may or may not devolve into Stockholm syndrome

I'm actually thinking I could maybe continue Tiny Geometries if I link it to Planned...

But anyway, for now, I decided to write this one-shot as an alternative scenario in Dissembled when Vlad visits Danny in the lab and offers to free him but with some strings attached. I may or may not add this as a bonus chapter to the actual fic, haven't decided since it's not nearly as polished as the rest of the fic.

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Danny stared up at Vlad from where he lay on the examination lab table. "Are you going to tell them where I am?"

Vlad smiled politely.

Danny tried to sit up, but the restraints kept him down. "Sam, Tucker, Jazz—are you going to tell them where they can find me?"

"I suppose that is the question before us now, isn't it?" said Vlad. "Am I going to tell your friends and sister that your mother has been keeping you prisoner in a secret lab far away from Amity Park for a whole week now? Am I going to give them the information they need to rescue you from her torturous experiments that she insists are all for research?" He paused. "Or perhaps you want to know if I am going to get you out of here myself."

Danny's heart jolted, but he did not even breathe in response.

Vlad held his hands behind his back while pacing slowly beside the lab table Danny was strapped to. "I certainly could. It would only be too easy to remove these restraints and free you." He stopped his pacing at the foot of the table. "But will I? Well, that depends."

Danny swallowed and waited.

Vlad moved closer to Danny's head and placed his hands on the table. "Don't you think you should do something for me, Daniel? If I get you out of this, you know you would owe me something, don't you?"

"What do you want, Vlad?" whispered Danny.

"I want you to submit to me."

Danny closed his eyes, his gut twisting and tangling.

"Denounce your father," Vlad continued. "Perhaps your mother now as well after all she's done to you here. Leave your entire family; let me be your family instead. You know I'm the only one who could really understand you. I'm the only one who knows how it feels to be like you."

Danny shut his eyes even tighter, his whole body shaking.

"Join me," said Vlad. "I'll look after you. I'll keep you safe. No one—human or ghost—will ever hurt you again, Daniel. I won't let them. Not your mother, not anyone."

He was in so much pain and he didn't want to hurt anymore. The promise was so comforting even coming from Vlad.

"All I ask is for your loyalty," said Vlad. "You can continue protecting the town from ghost threats, but you must also do as I say. I'll give you everything you need, and I can even train you, help you reach your full potential. Imagine what we could do together, Daniel."

Vlad stroked the side of Danny's head.

"This can all go away." Vlad's voice was soothing. "You just have to promise to obey me."

Vlad continued petting Danny's head and hair, a touch that made Danny shudder and melt all at once. He wanted to bite Vlad's hand, lean into it, shove it away, drench it with his tears.

"So instead of being my mom's prisoner," said Danny in a dark, thick tone that shook, "you want me to be your prisoner."

Vlad pulled his hand away, and Danny stopped himself from whining in protest.

"You don't have to think of it that way," said Vlad. "You would have a great deal of freedom as long as you don't defy me."

"And what if I do defy you?" asked Danny. "What if I don't do as you say?"

Vlad smiled but said nothing.

"I know the sort of things you'd make me do," said Danny, his voice gaining strength but still shaking. "I know what you'd try to turn me into."

A liar. A thief. A murderer. A criminal.

"But you wouldn't be a specimen," said Vlad. "You wouldn't be hurt."

"But I would be used."

"But not hurt."

The emphasis was not lost on Danny. Because God, he was tired of hurting.

But even if his own pain ceased, Vlad would make him hurt others.

Hurting others just so that he himself wouldn't be hurt anymore, a new existence of endless pain and internal torment.

"I can't." Danny fought back tears. "And you know I can't."

"But you could be great, Daniel." Vlad clutched the side of the table and leaned over Danny. "Your family and friends have been holding you back. It's been killing me to watch you waste so much potential."

"What you have in mind for me isn't what I'd call greatness, Vlad."

Vlad lowered his eyes. Danny hardened his gaze in an attempt to keep his tears from escaping.

"I see," said Vlad quietly. "Then I have no reason to stay any longer."

Vlad picked up the chair he had brought over earlier and moved it back across the lab. Danny watched him, his chest stuck and frozen, unable to pull in breath.

This didn't feel real.

He had to be dreaming.

Vlad returned to Danny's side and rapped his knuckles on the table a couple times. "It was so good to visit with you, little badger. I do hope I'll get to see you again, but if not, then I suppose this is goodbye."

He began to walk away. Panic bolted through Danny's nerves. His chance to escape was leaving, going—

"So that's it?" asked Danny, his voice tense and high-pitched.

Vlad turned back to him.

"You really won't help me?" Danny tried to keep his voice strong. "You won't even tell my friends and Jazz where I am unless I agree to go with you? You're really just going to leave me here?"

"It's not like I want to leave you here, Daniel."

"But that's what you're doing. So why are you leaving me if you don't want to?"

Vlad's image blurred through Danny's tears. He blinked to force the tears to fall, no longer caring if Vlad saw him crying at this point.

"I can't just let you go with no strings attached," said Vlad. "You have ruined so much of what I have been working toward since the day we met. So many of my plans wasted due to your meddling."

"But I would never do this to you," insisted Danny. "If I saw you like this, I wouldn't leave you. I would help you."

"Oh, I know you would." Vlad chuckled. "Which is why you'd be a terrible businessman."

Danny's neck and face flared with heat and rage and despair. Everything hurt, everything felt ready to burst.

"This situation is a win-win for me," said Vlad. "Either you become mine and assist me with my plans, or you're no longer around to interfere with them."

He was breaking, rupturing.

An impossible choice. No matter which choice he made, he would lose and Vlad would win.

He wished he didn't have to make this choice, wished that Vlad had just never come at all.

But Vlad was here. He was offering him a way out.

A terrible way out. But a way out nevertheless.

Vlad dragged his fingers on the table as he walked alongside it. "I won't be coming back after this." He halted at the foot of the table and turned to face Danny fully. "This is your only chance. Are you sure you want to stay here? Are you sure this is what you want?"

Danny shut his eyes, pushing the tears out faster.

Vlad sighed deeply, dramatically. "All right. Then I'm going."

Danny didn't open his eyes but he could hear Vlad walking, retreating, his shoes clicking on the floor, his footsteps getting farther and farther away.

His escape, his freedom, getting away from him, abandoning him.

"Wait," Danny cried. "Vlad, please wait."

The footsteps stopped immediately. Danny opened his eyes to find Vlad near the main lab door.

"Is there really no other way you'll help me?" Danny tried to raise his voice above a whisper but his throat was clenched tight. "Isn't there any other kind of deal I can make with you?"

Vlad was silent for a long moment. Then he came back.

"I'm sure you'd love to make some other kind of deal for your freedom," said Vlad. "You probably have plenty of alternatives you want to offer me. But this is all I want, Daniel. There's no alternative I will agree to. Either accept my conditions or I must leave you here."

Danny stared at him, pleading with his eyes because he didn't want to say the words, didn't want to beg for mercy, beg for his life.

But if he could get down on his knees, he was embarrassed to think that he probably would.

"This is really it, Daniel," said Vlad. "I'm leaving. Do you want to accept my conditions or not?"

Panic flooded Danny's senses and yet he still couldn't speak. Vlad turned and started walking away again.

"I do," Danny rasped, but Vlad didn't stop. He cleared his throat and called out louder, "I do accept them."

Vlad returned and again stood over him.

"Please get me out of here, Vlad," Danny whispered. "Please, before she comes back."

Vlad smiled and inclined his head. "Of course, little badger."

He moved around the table and undid every restraint. Danny's limbs stayed where they were, suddenly numb with exhaustion. Vlad placed a hand behind his back and guided him to sit up.

"You're all right now," said Vlad soothingly. "I'm taking you home."

Vlad transformed, glowing red eyes and fangs appearing in a ghostly flash. He placed his other arm under Danny's knees and effortlessly lifted him, cradling Danny against his chest.

Fatigue washed over Danny, all energy leaving him as his body went limp in Vlad's arms. He was fading, nodding off with his head against Vlad's chest. He felt Vlad lift off the floor and then phase through the ceiling, fresh air and sunshine hitting his face and then floating away into darkness.

He awoke some time later. He sat up and looked down at his wrists, no longer shackled to a lab table but free, pressing against a soft mattress in a large bedroom. His ghost form was also gone, replaced with his normal clothes and human complexion.

He scanned the room he was in, a cozy bedroom with ornately patterned wallpaper and Victorian furniture.

The memory of Vlad picking him up and flying him out of the lab came back to him. Had that been real? Was he in a room in Vlad's mansion?

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and became aware of something heavy around his neck. He reached up and tried yanking on it, a thick metal collar. He looked around for a mirror, but he could tell the collar was some kind of electronic device without even actually seeing it.

He stood and headed to one of the bedroom's doors that was ajar, pushing it open entirely and fumbling for a light switch on the wall, which he found quickly. A bathroom, sizable with a combination shower and tub, clean and smelling like tea tree and mint. Certainly a welcome change from the sterile and chemical smells of the lab.

He then tried the only other door in the bedroom, the one he was pretty sure must lead out into the rest of the mansion. Vlad was probably somewhere out there, perhaps Danny could find him and ask him what the hell this collar was—

The doorknob turned, but the door would not open. Danny frowned, tugging on the door. It was not locked, but there was something preventing the door from opening.

He pressed his fingertips against the door, but his molecules would not obey his command to phase through it. His mother had disabled his powers in the lab; had Vlad not restored them yet?

Danny frantically checked the room for another way out. There were two large windows barred with thick carbon steel looking out on an expansive forest view. Danny helplessly gripped two of the window bars, which were too close together to push his head through entirely.

Vlad had locked him in here and had no intention of letting him leave.

God, what was he thinking trusting Vlad? Of course Vlad was just going to set him up in a new prison after "rescuing" him from that lab. Of course Vlad would never actually let him be free again.

Danny's fingers curled over the collar clamped around his neck.

There was nothing to do now but wait. Wait for something to change, for Vlad to come and see him—he wasn't sure what would be happening next, but he knew this was right where he would be when it did happen.

Danny tried to entertain himself. He switched on the Smart TV in the room and browsed the selection of streaming services. He opened all the drawers in the writing desk that was set up against one of the walls, finding nothing but office supplies like paper and pens. He looked through the books in the bookcase set up next to a comfortable chair in a corner of the room. But his mind was unable to focus on anything.

At last, Danny flopped on the bed, realizing just how sore and in pain he was. He stared up at the ceiling, the same thing he had been doing when he was a captive specimen in that lab.

It seemed to be all he knew how to do anymore.

Some time later, a couple knocks sounded at the door. Danny sat up on the bed and saw Vlad phase through the door, in human form and dressed in his normal suit, smiling just like his usual pompous asshole self.

"Daniel," greeted Vlad with warmth. "You're awake."

"I've been awake for a while," said Danny testily.

"I'm so sorry to keep you waiting, little badger. I had some mayoral work to take care of; you understand."

Danny rolled his eyes but said nothing.

"How are you feeling?" asked Vlad. "Do you need anything for the pain?"

Danny wasn't sure how to answer. Because yes he would love some painkillers right now but he also didn't trust anything Vlad might give him.

Vlad started approaching him. Danny hopped off the bed and stepped backward from him. Vlad immediately stopped where he was.

"It's all right, Daniel," said Vlad softly. "I'm not going to hurt you."

"Then why have you locked me in here with no way out?" demanded Danny. "Why do I still not have my powers?"

"Just a precaution," said Vlad. "I didn't want you to try to leave before I had a chance to talk to you. That collar around your neck is suppressing your powers for now, but I will remove it in due time, I promise."

Danny reflexively reached up and grabbed at the collar.

"It's hypoallergenic," Vlad continued. "But do let me know if it causes any skin irritation or discomfort."

"It's really uncomfortable."

"You know that's not what I mean."

Danny glared at him, lowering his hands and balling them into fists.

Vlad stepped toward him again. Danny stepped back until he hit a wall. Vlad placed a gentle hand on Danny's face, holding and turning his jaw to study him from different angles.

"Your mother really did some terrible things to you in that lab, didn't she?" said Vlad.

Vlad trailed his hands down Danny's scarred arms. Danny shuddered and pulled his arms out of Vlad's grasp.

"So have you," said Danny, narrowing his eyes.

Vlad was silent for a moment before shrugging, chuckling under his breath. "We have had a bit of a history, haven't we, little badger? But I am very much looking forward to our future together."

He walked over to one of the barred windows, gazing outside. "I hope you like your view. I chose to put you in this room because the sunset is quite lovely from here. I thought you might appreciate it."

"Appreciate it?" Danny scoffed. "You think I appreciate being locked up in here without my powers? You think a nice view makes up for that?"

"I don't plan on keeping you in here forever," said Vlad, sounding a little irritable. "Just until I can be sure that I can trust you not to go back to your family."

Vlad walked back to him. Danny stayed in place but wanted to shrink away.

"You made a deal with me," said Vlad. "You remember, don't you? If I rescued you from being your mother's specimen in that lab, you would leave your family and submit to me."

Danny leaned against the foot of the bed, clutching at the ornate bed frame. "I—yes, I remember, but—"

"More than that, you agreed to denounce your father. And I think you might as well add your mother onto that after what she's done to you."

Danny shuddered, his body remembering every touch and poke from his mother. The searing cuts, the broken bones, her unwanted fingers running over every inch of his skin.

"I know I agreed to do that," mumbled Danny. "But Vlad, please, can't we talk about this? I mean, isn't there something else I can—"

"No," said Vlad sharply. "This is what we agreed on, Daniel. This is what I want from you. There is no negotiating."

"But—Vlad, please—"

"If you wish to back out, I will not force you to stay."

Danny's heart fluttered. "Really?"

"Of course," said Vlad. "But I will take you right back to that lab. I will strap you down to that examination table and leave you there. And this time, I really won't come back."

Danny tried desperately to hold back his tears, hide every trace of his weakness. "Vlad, please don't do this to me."

"Your mother's the one who's been torturing you for a week, not me," said Vlad, sounding almost offended. "Why are you treating me like the villain here?"

"I'm not—I just—"

"Daniel, why would you even want to return home? Why would you want to face your mother again?"

Danny thought for a very long moment, trying to reason through his emotions and feelings about his mother that all seemed so irrational and contradictory.

"She didn't know it was me," said Danny, more to himself than Vlad. "She didn't know she was hurting me. She thought she was just hurting Phantom, and she doesn't believe ghosts actually feel anything real, she thinks they just imitate emotions—I mean, she—she never really believed that I was actually crying—"

He broke into a sob as he used the bed frame to slide to the floor, his tears coming fast as he lay crumpled. Vlad did not disturb him, but Danny could see his legs shifting in place each time he opened his blurry eyes for a small moment.

His sobs dissolved into sniffles, and Danny looked up at Vlad but did not yet have the strength to stand again.

"She won't hurt you, Daniel," said Vlad softly. "No one will."

"Including you?" asked Danny in a whisper.

Vlad paused before answering, "I have no desire to hurt you, Daniel."

Danny continued staring up at Vlad as his tears dried.

"Come, stand up." Vlad held out a hand to Danny. "You need to write a letter."

Danny did not take the hand and used the bed frame to push himself up off the floor. "A letter?"

"Yes. Addressed to your parents."

"Why do I need to write a letters to my parents?"

"Because I don't think you'd be able to keep it together for a phone call," explained Vlad. "And I wouldn't be able to coach you on what to say over the phone, not without a lot of pausing your parents might find very suspicious."

"But what do you want me to say to them in a letter?" asked Danny.

"You will tell them that you will not be returning home to them," said Vlad. "You wish to remain with me instead."

Danny's heart sank. "But that's not true."

"It is true," insisted Vlad. "You made that choice when you were strapped to that examination table."

"It wasn't a fair choice," said Danny. "It was either live with you or suffer through more torture and die."

"But you are choosing to stay here with me over torture and death, are you not?" asked Vlad. "Or would you like to back out and return to the lab?"

Danny hesitated before bitterly shaking his head.

"Enough of this, Daniel." Vlad's tone became stern. "I will not have you whining about how unfair this choice was any longer. Kindly remember that I am the one who rescued you. I am not the one who was torturing you in that lab. That was your mother."

Danny cowered, turning away.

"And we both know that your father would've been happy to join in the painful experimentation if your mother had been willing to share you with him," Vlad continued. "So it should be easy for you to denounce both of them."

"It's not," gasped Danny, fighting back tears. "They're still my—it's not—"

Vlad sighed and placed a gentle hand on Danny's shoulder. Danny's chest heaved as a couple tears spilled down his cheeks.

"I want to help you, Daniel," said Vlad softly. "It might hurt at first, but with time, you'll see that I saved you in more ways than one. I could never in good conscience allow you to return to live with your parents. I really do care about you, little badger."

Danny sobbed, unable to speak, hardly able to breathe.

He wished he could just stop breathing.

Vlad guided him to the writing desk. Danny numbly took a seat in the wooden chair, hunching over and staring at the blank surface, the vintage mahogany pattern.

Vlad opened one of the desk drawers and pulled out some stationery, setting a blank sheet of paper and a pen in front of Danny. Danny did not react, simply continued staring through them.

"Please pick up the pen, Daniel," said Vlad. "I want to send this letter out today."

Danny picked up the pen, his hand shaking. "What am I supposed to write?" he asked in a hoarse whisper.

"I'll tell you," said Vlad. "If you'd like."

Danny said nothing. Waited.

Vlad cleared his throat and began pacing behind Danny. "Start with 'Jack and Maddie' as the salutation."

"The—the what?"

"The greeting, Daniel."

"But I don't call them by their names."

"You want to suggest an emotional distance. Please do not argue with me."

Vlad stopped pacing and folded his arms, tapping his foot against the floor. Danny stalled a moment longer before slowly writing the two names near the top of the paper. His letters leaned slightly left.

Vlad resumed his pacing, stroking his chin with one hand. "Next: 'I am aware that you have been diligently searching for me. I recognize the pain this must have caused you, and I apologize for my silence—'"

"I don't talk like that," said Danny.

"Write it in your own words, then," said Vlad. "I am not practiced in how an uneducated sixteen-year-old might speak."

"I'm not uneducated."

"You've been attending a public school. That's not an education, my boy."

Danny exhaled loudly and rewrote Vlad's words.

Vlad cleared his throat and clasped his hands behind his back as he continued dictating. "'It was not my intention to upset you. I simply needed some time to myself so I could evaluate my situation and my relationship with both of you.'"

Vlad spoke without stopping, on and on about how Danny had been feeling frustrated and overwhelmed at home, how he wondered for the past week when he might return home, how he kept saying tomorrow tomorrow tomorrow but how tomorrow never came and today today today he realized he didn't want to return home ever.

Danny rewrote everything, all of Vlad's awful, terrible, cruel words. He wrote about how he felt miserable and neglected at home, like his parents cared more about their ghost research than their own son. He was tired of Jack's inventions targeting him, tired of Maddie obsessing over hunting ghosts instead of paying attention to him, tired of being told he was simply being possessed by a ghost or that they had some invention to fix what was wrong with him whenever he was feeling depressed or stressed or uncomfortable or sick.

But there was one person who had always cared for him and paid attention to him: Vlad Masters, yes, finally an adult he could trust. Vlad Masters had been very kind to him and did not hesitate to take him in and now Danny was going to stay with him forever and ever and ever and he never wanted to see his parents again and—

Danny's tears began to fall, one after another, soaking into the paper, smudging the ink. He used the heel of his hand to wipe away the tears but couldn't get them to stop.

Vlad came up behind him and peered over his shoulder, placing his fingers on the paper as he bent over and looked at it more closely.

"Daniel." Vlad sighed. "You're going to have to rewrite all of this."

Danny tried to discreetly wipe his eyes. "Why? What's wrong with it? I wrote what you said in my own words."

"I can't have you sending your parents your tears." Vlad set a new sheet of paper next to the tearstained one. "Rewrite it. And this time, please turn your head if you're going to cry." Vlad opened a desk drawer and pulled out a box of tissues. "Or use these."

He set the tissues in front of Danny. Danny stared at them, unmoving.

"Daniel? What is it now, little badger?" asked Vlad.

"Stop calling me that," hissed Danny. "I'm not your pet."

"Of course not. I'd like to think of you as my son." Vlad placed a hand on his shoulder. "If you'll let me."

Danny slapped Vlad's hand away. "I don't want to be your son either. I have parents. You're making me leave them."

"I understand this is difficult for you," said Vlad, "but as I've been saying, please do remember that your mother was the one torturing you the past week. And your father has said numerous times that he wants to—what was it, 'rip you apart molecule by molecule'?"

"No." Danny shook his head fiercely. "He said he wanted to rip Phantom apart, not me." His eyes filled with hot tears. "And my mom… She didn't know it was me on that table. She thought I was just a ghost."

"Do you really think she would've stopped the experiments if she did know who you really were?" asked Vlad. "Don't you think she might've been intrigued to discover that Danny Phantom is actually a ghost hybrid? Don't you think that might have incited her to conduct even more experiments?"

"You don't know that," said Danny, but his voice was weak.

"Your mother so often ignored you in favor of her research," said Vlad. "Forgetting to tuck you in at night or even feed you because she was busy in the lab. Humans can become just as obsessed as ghosts, Daniel."

"But humans can choose to not follow their obsessions," said Danny. "That's a key difference."

Vlad looked down at him with a pitying frown. "Does it make you feel better to believe that your mother would choose to let go of her obsession just for you? Would you be willing to go back to that lab and test that belief? Tell her you're actually her son and see if she lets you go all on her own?"

Danny lowered his eyes in defeat. Because no, he was not willing to test that very thin hope that his mother would stop the experimentation if she knew exactly who it was she was torturing.

"Go on," said Vlad, sounding impatient. "Start rewriting. I have a meeting with my lawyer soon to work out the logistics of formally adopting you, and I need to have that letter finished by then."

Danny forced back the rest of his tears as he picked up the pen and stared at the new sheet of paper in front of him, wondering just how preferable this was to being strapped down to his mother's examination table.

#danny phantom #danny fenton #vlad masters #imekitty writes #angst #prompt writing #creepytarotgirl #dissembled

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im-a-goddamn-cat · 11 months

Text

Solace

Neggie/Negan x Maggie || Rated: T || Words: 1.7k || CW: Canon-Typical Violence

Summary: Takes place during S1E4 of Dead City; Negan comforts Maggie after they discover the dead child.

A/N: I was originally gonna start working on different fic idea but after watching episode 4, I couldn't stop thinking to myself "What if Negan had comforted Maggie after the incident with the dead child" so I wrote this first real quick to get it out of my system.

Also, in regards to my last Neggie fic: I know I said that I was going to write a second chapter but I think I'll just be leaving it as a one-shot for now. I couldn't think of anything to write that wouldn't just be a rehash of what I already wrote. Maybe someday I'll go back to it but for now, I think I'll leave it alone. I'm so sorry to anyone who might've be looking forward to another chapter.

Anyways, enjoy this fic! <3

AO3 || FF.net || ↓

Maggie began going ahead of the group, franically checking more rooms, with Negan close behind her. She entered another room but stopped in her tracks, her blood running cold at the sight she was greeted with. Ahead of her in the room was a child tied to a chair. His face was hidden as his head was hanging down but she could tell that he was dead just from his appearance. His skin was too pale, he wasn't moving, and he had gashes all over his body. He looked eerily similar to Hershel and the realization of that had Maggie frozen in place. Her breathing got quicker and tears began to form in her eyes at the possibility that this really was Hershel.

......

Negan and Maggie, along with Amaia, Tomasso, and the rest of their group walked down the halls of The Croat's stadium in search of Maggie's son, Hershel. Slowly, they began checking every room. One by one, every door they opened greeted them to a room smeared with blood in various places but no one inside. The sights alone caused Maggie to become even more on edge than she already was. Knowing that The Croat was not above torturing children to the point of death had Maggie anxious as to the state Hershel would be in when they found him. With everything in her, she hoped that they were not too late.

I have to check, I have to see if it's him, the voice in her head told her but she couldn't move. She couldn't bring herself to look. The idea that this is Hershel and that they were too late to save him was already beginning to eat her away.

Negan made his way to the room. Looking down, he saw the blood smeared on the floor near the entrance. He continued on and once he entered and saw the sight before him, a wave of anxiety washed over him. He first saw the dead child, who looked so much like Hershel, and then he saw Maggie, frozen in place staring at the child. The look on her face was one of pure grief. She looked to be on the brink of a breakdown and the sight broke Negan's heart. Seeing that she wasn't moving to check if it was Hershel, Negan took the initiative himself and slowly began walking over to him.

Truthfully, he didn't want to check either because if it is Hershel, he isn't sure that he could handle the weight of that either. If Hershel was dead because of The Croat, who Negan failed to put down when he had the chance, Negan wasn't sure he could ever forgive himself for fucking up like that. If he had killed The Croat when he attempted to, none of this would have happened and Maggie and Hershel would still be safe at their home. The guilt for the situation was already eating him up but if Hershel was dead, he could never live it down.

Shaking those thoughts away, Negan approached the child. He looked back at Maggie for a second, seeing if she would stop him. When she didn't, Negan turned back to the child and lifted his head up. He began trying to bite Negan as he wasn't put down before he turned to a walker. Seeing his face, Negan let out a sigh of relief and looked back towards Maggie.

"It's not him," Negan said to her. He turned back to the child and quickly put his knife through his head to put him to rest for good. Maggie let out the breath that she was holding in as a wave of relief washed over her. A few stray tears pricked her eyes but she wiped them away. She was still reeling from the intensity of the situation but she didn't want to fully give into her emotions. She didn't want Negan to see her upset.

Negan could see that Maggie was still very upset. She still looked like she was on the brink of full-on crying and she was physically shaking. Concerned, Negan was going to ask if she needed a minute to relax but before he could say anything, she turned and left the room without saying a word. Confused, Negan stood there for a second before exiting the room as well. When he made it out into the hallway, he looked around for Maggie but didn't see her. Walking a little ways, he came across another room and heard sniffling coming from it. He entered and saw Maggie, who was standing towards the back of the room, her back facing him. She looked back when she heard him enter and quickly wiped away tears when she saw it was him.

"Sorry, I just… Needed a minute," she told him before turning back to face the wall in front of her. Negan slowly walked over to stand next to her. When he saw that she wasn't going to protest him being there, he relaxed a little.

They stood in silence for a few moments. Negan looked at Maggie and saw that she still looked distraught. How could she not be, he thought, she just thought she had discovered that her son was dead. Maggie was looking towards the ground, unmoving. Negan wanted to say something to comfort her but he wasn't sure if she would appreciate it. He didn't want to start yapping and end up annoying her. Instead, he turned slightly and slowly reached his hand out towards hers to hold it. He was afraid that she was going to yell at him to not touch her or at least shake him away like she did when he tried to do the same thing when Luther had upset her, but instead she allowed it this time. Usually she wouldn't allow this type of contact from him but at the moment, she needed any comfort she could get.

"I really thought it was him," Maggie finally spoke up. "I thought… I thought I'd lost my son." She started choking up again.

Negan nodded. "I know… I did too," he told her. "But it wasn't him."

Maggie turned towards Negan as well and looked up at him. "But what if it was? What if we find him and we're too late?" More tears started rolling down her face. "If he's dead… I don't know what I'll do. I've lost so many people already. I don't know if I could handle it if I lost him," she told him truthfully. Maggie has tried to stay strong but with everything she’s been through and everyone she’s lost, the weight of it all is catching up to her.

Negan felt a pain in his heart when hearing those words. The guilt of his past resurfaced as he thought about how he was responsible for taking away at least one person Maggie cared about and how Hershel never would have been taken if he had taken out The Croat. How he's responsible for the suffering of someone who he's begun to care about and grown extremely fond of. He wished he could go back in time and do it all over again right this time.

This isn't about you though, he told himself in his head. Shaking away those thoughts, he focused back on Maggie. "No, don't say that. We're gonna find him and he's gonna be okay," he tried reassuring her.

Maggie shook her head and looked back down. "I'm an awful mother. I try, I try my hardest but nothing I do is any good. Hershel has been growing distant from me for a while now. I tried to keep him safe but I couldn't even do that. Now he's gone and I might never see him again. I failed him." Maggie got more upset as she opened up to Negan about her son and herself. She felt awful that no matter what she did, it always seemed to go wrong for her and the people she’s close to. After she finished speaking, she broke down sobbing and suddenly threw herself against Negan. Negan was stunned by the sudden contact from her as it was unusual for her to be on him like this. But after a moment, he slowly put his arms around her and when she didn't protest, he began rubbing soothing circles around her back.

"Maggie Rhee, you are a lot of things but you are not a bad mother. You're an amazing woman and you'd do anything for your kid. He's lucky to have you. I know it's hard, seeing all this gruesome shit and wondering how your boy is. But I promise you, we'll find him."

Negan's words made Maggie cling to his jacket tighter and let out another cry into his shoulder. Negan subconsciously tightened his hold on her and continued his soothing ministrations on her back.

"I'm so fucking sorry, Maggie… You and Hershel don't deserve this," Negan said with a hint of guilt in his voice. Maggie nodded but didn't move from where she was, letting Negan hold her. Part of her was disgusted with herself that she was taking solace in the man who was responsible for her husband's death and so much of her suffering, but at the moment she didn't care as she desperately needed the comfort. She couldn't remember the last time someone consoled her like this and it felt good to have someone do this again. Plus, Maggie would never admit it, but she’s been growing fond of Negan as well.

They stood in silence wrapped up together for a few moments. Maggie moved first, releasing her grip on Negan and pulling away, and Negan let her. Maggie looked at him and nodded.

"Thank you," she told him sincerely. She then noticed the wet spot on him where she had been crying. "Sorry I made a mess of your shirt."

"It's alright. I've had worse on me." Negan chuckled and Maggie cracked a small smile at that.

"It's okay to let it all spill out sometimes. You are one of the toughest people I know and I admire that like hell, but even you can't keep all that shit bottled up forever, Maggie." Maggie nodded at that. She knew he was right.

"Come on, let's go find the group and get your boy back." Negan smiled. Maggie smiled as well and nodded again. They headed out of the room in search of the others to complete their mission.

......

A/N: Thank you for reading! <3

#my fics #my writing #fics #meowing #neggie #twddc #the walking dead: dead city #the walking dead dead city #the walking dead #dead city #negan x maggie #maggie x negan #negan smith #maggie greene #maggie rhee

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