#I only offer my opinion if they ask but then they still get upset lmao

[assiraphales]

every friend group needs a bitch who will tell their friends to dump their partners at the slightest hint of a red flag

‘and you’re ok with that behavior? that they crossed boundaries you established without apologizing? do you not think this will cause problems in the future if you don’t address it now or ……?”

#I am that bitch in all my friend groups #I only offer my opinion if they ask but then they still get upset lmao #one time one of my BEST friends was like I’m breaking up w my boyfriend do you think that’s a good idea #I said yes & gave a list of reasons #they were back together the next day and they never spoke to me again 💀

[nicromancytarot]

WHAT IS APRIL LOOKING LIKE FOR YOU

This is a general reading based on a collective of people. Take what resonates and leave what doesn’t. If you don’t feel the pile resonates with you, don’t be scared to try another, if it still doesn’t feel right, that’s ok! Maybe our energies aren’t as connected and my readings are not for you.

I do these strictly for fun and educational purposes. I don’t change for these readings and I do not fake readings. I would tell you the cards I got but I pull like 20-30 cards each reading and that just slightly a strenuous task to write them all down lmao.

PICK A CARD READING

I asked my spirit guides what you had to look forward to during the month of April, pick a pile and see what they had to say! 

Pile 1 ———> Pile 2

Pile 3 ———> Pile 4

PILE 1

My pile number 1, you are looking forward to building up a project that you been working on for a while, I do see that this will have to be your main priority during the month of April, and that any other project or situation that you are working on will have to be put onto the back burner for this time. The energy that I am receiving is that you are trying your best to do multiple projects at once, and it’s becoming quite draining. This month is almost serving as a reminder for you, that you can only work on one thing at a time, your other projects that you would like to work on can be dealt with next month, however, for the time being, there is only one project that you need to serve in April.

I’m seeing that a lot of you will be working with other people and alongside other people to get what you want done, if you’re still in education, this could be a project what you are doing with another student, but if you’re not in education, this could just be something that you’re doing yourself, perhaps at work or just in your own time, maybe, even consulting the opinions of your friends and family.

As of right now, the project which you are working with isn’t reaping the long-term stability that you would like, and this is why this is so important this month, because it’s the one that you need to evolve the most.  

For some of you, this could be something which you dropped a while ago and are only now picking back up. Perhaps a hobby time job or just something which you didn’t think was serving you at that time. 

PILE 2

Hello, pile 2 I think some of you have recently gone through a break up or some downfall of a certain commitment situation. For a lot of you I’m picking up that this was a very long-term relationship which ended up not working out, and left you very upset, this month will mainly be about you really figuring out what you want out of a relationship, a connection, or a commitment. It will be mainly driven towards you, finding stability within yourself and what you want.

For those of you who aren’t fitting in with the relationship narrative, this could’ve been a project or a job which you are holding onto and unfortunately got let go of or just didn’t really work out. You may find during this time that attempting to find yourself a new job or create a new project isn’t what is serving you the best, for right now the most recommended thing that you can do is take a break, relax and set your boundaries to realise what you really really want. That goes for the relationship part also.

As a collective, the start of this month for you guys is going to be all about figuring out what you want from all of this, setting your boundaries finding out answers and closure to those things which you would like to know and working on your own stability.

At the end of the month, I do see something coming in possibly a relationship offer or a job offer/project offer, this is something that you can look forward to, and I also see that you will be able to build something long-term out of this. 

PILE 3

Pile 3 this month is all about your own self-worth, April will be filled of trials and tribulations for you in order for you to figure out who you are, and what you deserve.

You may find this month a little bit harder, but I promise you that it will be worth it in the end, it begins with you trying to build something and possibly give something, I do feel like whatever you’re working on, or whatever you’re doing, your actions will be rejected. That will obviously make you quite sad, but you will find it very easy to get back up and let it go with this situation. The main thing I’m getting with this pile is that some of you maybe speaking to your crush for the first time and possibly advancing on them or others of you maybe asking your boss for a promotion at work, whatever it is, it will be to do with something that can be rejected, and most likely will. I would recommend still going with your gut and asking this question or giving those advances, because this will help you grow, even if it doesn’t turn out the best in the moment.

Nearer to the middle of the month, you will be really realising what you want in the future, whether it be to do with relationships, career yourself your family or friendships, anything like that, this will be your moment to really figure out what floats your boat, and what you want from this. The end of the month doesn’t really have any classical growth. It’s only really mental which is still very good but if you don’t see any physical growth that will be why.

However, I do see that you’ll be very happy with where you are at the end of April.  

PILE 4

Pile 4, you guys might have been drawn to pile to so you might wanna check that out. I do see similar themes with pile 2 and pile 4, I see that some of you are going to be getting over a break up. This is most likely a break up, or a relationship thing, so if you don’t resonate with that I would recommend finding yourself another pile, pile 2 could also be the one for you. 

I see that you guys may have gone through something hurtful, like a break up, or perhaps some trauma in your life, most likely surrounding a relationship, this is causing you to be quite shut off to finding a new relationship, during the month of April, I do you see that you are going to be working towards getting rid of this. I see that you will be coming out of your shell setting your boundaries I’m really having hope to not nurture something long-lasting. The road that you are on isn’t going to prove to be easy however, I do feel like you know that.

During the middle of the month, I see that you will possibly meet someone, or you may even make an advance towards one of your crushes, and it will be received very well and mutual.

For those of you who still resonate with the relationship stuff, but not so much with the trauma. I would say that this month as you preparing to ask out your crush or make a move towards someone that you find attractive. 

The end of the month seems to end very well with a new beginning for you and this person, so don’t give up.

#tarot #tarotblr #tarotcommunity #tarot witch #free tarot #tarot reading #tarot cards #pick a card #pick a pile

[gen0c1de]

Stardew Valley Bachelors when the Farmer gets a new tattoo

I got a new tattoo, it is similar to what my dad had but on the opposite arm and mirrored. If you want details or if you wanna see it I made a post about it. I will make one for the Bachelorettes, just need motivation I guess lmao Requests are open! TW: Mentions of pain, mentions of blood, mentions of smoking, if i forgot anything please let me know

Alex

Doesn't notice right away.

He's an airhead, he's focused on throwing the Gridball up in the air.

When he does look at you, still doesn't notice it right away.

Lets face it, this boy doesn't expect a change from you, you're a "Boring farmer".

When he does finally notice it, he takes a HARD double-take.

Super shocked and excited for you.

Will ask questions about it like: "Did it hurt", "What does it mean", "Is it something that means a lot to you", etc.

He want's a tattoo but is scared of the pain and doesn't wanna miss working out for a while to let it heal.

He will have a tattoo vicariously through you.

Elliott

Notices right away.

This man is able to tell if you went to the dentist, he's THAT observant istg.

Will ask a few questions about it, but not bombard you like Alex.

Studies it and pinpoint any potential mistake right away so you can get it fixed right away.

Ask to take a picture or two so he can make a book about it and use your tattoo as the cover, with credits of course.

Is honestly proud of you for having the guts to get a tattoo done.

He personally believes the body is a temple that should not be tainted with ink, piercings, or hair dyes.

He keeps those opinions to himself though, not wanting to upset someone by giving his unwanted opinion.

Harvey

Notices it when you have your check-up.

He may be older and a doctor, but he thinks it's really cool.

Asks only a few questions about why you got it, but mainly focuses on the health of it.

Examins it throughout the healing period to make sure it's not infected, that you're not allergic to the ink, and that you're taking proper care of yourself.

Will come to the farm every now and then to check on your tattoo as well to make sure you're letting it heal and not damaging it by working on the farm.

If you want him to put Aquaphor on it, he will, just come to his office when it opens and closes and he will do that for you.

Doesn't want a tattoo, thinks they're cool, but is terrified of the risks and the pain.

Sam

He's obsessed with cool stuff.

With that being said, he notices it right off the bat.

Immediately bombards you with questions, his eyes sparkling.

Wants most of the juicy details of you finding what you wanted, deciding on it, before the tattoo, during, and after.

Just don't tell him about the bleeding, he's not into that stuff... makes him queasy.

Talks about how much he wants a tattoo but can't get one yet since he doesn't have the money and his parents don't want him to get one while he lives with them.

He already got piercings without talking to them first, defiantly not going to get a tattoo yet.

If you're good at drawing, he will ask you to draw fake tattoos on him so he can get the feeling of what its like to have one, without it being permanent.

Talks to you a lot more now, finding you to be really cool.

Sebastian

Also another one to notice right away.

He likes things that are "Rebellious" and stuff his mom and Demetrious don't want him to do.

Will have you walk with him while he has a cigarette so he can talk about the tattoo with you.

Asks you a few questions, but due to him being a bit timid and having anxiety he doesn't ask a lot of them.

Is totally fine with you just telling him details without him asking, prefers it that way anyway.

You can tell him the bloody stuff, not at all bothered by it, he thinks its cool anyway.

Ask him about if he wants one!

He will be happy that you care enough to ask about his interests!

Please!! It's fucking adorable!

He will tell you how he wants one but doesn't have the money for it.

If you offer to pay for his tattoo he will get excited!

He won't show his excitement, but you know he is because he actually SMILES A LITTLE!

You both will be looking for a good first tattoo for this man!

Shane

Never notices it unless you straight up shove it in his face saying "LOOK! A TATTOO"

Or Marnie/Jazz will talk about it when he's around, then he will notice it.

Thinks its neat, not something super exciting though.

Might ask about it, might not.

#sdv #stardew valley #stardew #sdv farmer #stardew valley farmer #stardew farmer #sdv headcanons #sdv bachelors

[rahleeyah]

I’ve been away from tumblr for a while, did you always have a gf?!

Re the EO of it all, the reason ppl catastrophize, include me, at every little thing, is because there is little to no movement. When C first came back I was like relax, things are moving along, then they abruptly stopped giving us anything, no EO no movement, no progress for 3 seasons now. I’m tired. Only saving grace is that I don’t really watch OC, and I’m enjoying SVU this season.

LMAO no not always, we've been together a few months 🤣

So the thing is I understand why people catastrophize, I said in my post I'd been doing it myself, for some of the reasons you mentioned. I never said that people shouldn't express disappointment or concern (I expressed my own frustration in that post several times) and I never like. Passed a judgment on anyone for responding in any kind of way. I was asked my opinion and I gave it. I think everybody knows why we and others are frustrated by this, I think there's been plenty of posts on that topic. I don't want you to think you have to defend your position, when in part I agree with it.

The thing is, if all I ever thought about was how the show isn't doing what I want then all the joy I derive from it would be gone, and I would simply stop watching. Life is too short for me to actually be hurt by a TV show. If I genuinely only felt resentment I would stop. But I haven't, bc I don't feel that way.

what I am doing, all the time, is evaluating what we have been given, what we can reasonably expect, what I can do with what we have been given, and whether at the end of the day it still makes me happy. This is work I am doing for me; other people will do things their own way and it's not up to me to tell them what to think or get upset when we're not in lockstep.

When I am asked about my perspective my answer is going to be based on those four questions above. This a network copaganda series that has never done deep dives into relationships and in fact even for the men Olivia was actually sleeping with only ever gave us brief, periodic glimpses into what was going on at home. The franchise prides itself on not doing a lot of relationship work. Whatever we might want, however compelling a story they may have on their hands with EO, they aren't ever going to center EO. Not bc they hate it (tho perhaps some of tptb do) but bc that simply isn't the kind of show this is. It's a hot dog cart, they're not selling pad thai. When all they have to offer us is a hot dog, well. What else did we expect?

Yes they have the means to do more, but to what extent? Mariska and Chris are already on set for their own shows 16 hours a day, when are they supposed to stop work on their individual shows (which the writers/producers of each show have to prioritize their own show over EO, bc EO is not a show, eo is a concept that is connective between two shows but eo doesn't get renewed, the shows do, and so the shows, individually, have to be good on their own merits) and go to a different set? Esp when they're still filming episodes just like 3-4 out from airing? That schedule is TIGHT. Plus oc has had like three showrunners this season and they aren't even halfway thru filming. They barely know what story they're telling over there and it's unclear whether what we have now is the result of current leadership or the last fingerprints of someone who's already gone. I'm not happy with it, and I've expressed my unhappiness with it, but I'm not gonna like. Just keep repeating how disappointing it is.

The echo chamber of negativity hurts me. I know that some people find comfort in hearing people voice their concerns and discussing that together, but to constantly be soaking in that environment clouds my judgment. It pulls me away from my own thoughts and perspective, it stifles my creativity, and it makes me feel bad, when if I only step outside that discourse and evaluate things for myself, I'm actually pretty happy with where we're at.

So again, when I am asked my opinion, I am not going to contribute to a cycle that hurts me. I am going to be honest about my perspective, and offer some encouragement - and, again, not tell others what to feel.

Y'all feel any kind of way you feel. Everybody has a different outlook and it's important for us to hear a range of voices. But this here is my house, and I will not contribute to distressing others as these conversations sometimes distress me. I'm not going to amplify bitterness. I will not foster it in my own heart and I will not do so to others. I genuinely believe we are in a good place, EO wise. I know it is not what we hoped for, but as we have discussed, many times, what we hoped for was not ever really in the cards. We can't be angry the hot dog cart couldn't sell us a gourmet meal. In fact, if we want a gourmet meal, we frankly should not have come to the hot dog cart at all.

Part of what makes EO so compelling is all the space the show leaves for the audience to draw their own conclusions. If the show was slightly better made or all those holes had been filled in, what would there be for fandom to do? A vibrant fandom full of creative ideas and cool fic and long meta needs a source media that is just a little bit bad, and leaves some of those doors open for interpretation. So I'm glad they're a little bad. That gives me room to work.

That was. Way too long, and not at all what you asked, but I'm still drinking my coffee lmao

#anonymous #e.o asks #s.vu

[bumblebeehug]

whoops here comes an analysis on the pheonix priestess movie - heads up before you read!! this is all lighthearted and my personal opinion, you could probably tell me the opposite opinions and i’d agree in some way so if i sound mad or upset just know that it’s all written with love :)

i rewatched the pheonix priestess movie and wanted to commit crime at how badly they portrayed lucy lmao. at first they made her cute and excited for the job, but then they fail it which obviously is fine except lucy thinks it's all her fault (like yes she was the one who couldn't catch the thief but NEITHER COULD THE OTHER IN TEAM NATSU). then there's some scenes where lucy blames herself despite team natsu delibirately telling her that they don't blame her, and i get this whole fanfic vibe. like I can write a depressed lucy for those reasons because the stuff i write isn't canon, but unless she's depressed for genuinely good reasons (natsu leaving, losing aquarius key, not being able to say goodbye to her dad before he died) it just doesn't make sense for her character to get so genuinely sad over how things went. then, as if everything isn't bad enough, eclair acts like a total bitch just cause lucy wants to make friends with her - which leads me to the way she's acting when she's trying to make friends!! like why is she being so consistent on following eclair around and giving her ice cream and stuff when eclair is telling her she doesn't like it!!! LUCY WOULDN'T DO THAT, like sure, she'd walk quietly with her in that new town because she wants to protect her, but there's no way she'd act so obnoxious. then eclair decides to be kind to her, finally, because "oh, it turns out i'm not the only person in the world who has experienced sadness?? even mages can be sad?? but mages are bad because i hate magic!!" which was just a weird concept to me, like girl be for real.

nothing in that movie sat right with me (that’s a lie, i like the movie, but you get it) - i would like the nalu moments better if they didn't feel so out of place. there was no reason for eclair to tell natsu to take care of sad lucy - eclair and natsu barely had any interractions throughout the movie at all! how would she know shit about their relationship!! i'm sorry but it's just so weird. i do like how much natsu notices lucy though - when she's upset because of the mission he cheers her up, and when eclair bullies her (ignores her attempt to introduce herself) he jumps in to save the situation. those moments i like, because it shows development in how natsu pays attention to lucy, which does in fact prove that their relationship is evolving (nowadays it's all gone backwards though, but let's not talk about that here).

the portrayal i do like is when they show Lucy's more considerate side - she has moments where she pays attention to eclair's needs (asking her if she'd like to switch roommate since she obviously doesn't like lucy very much - good thing she declines that offer, because i would bite her head off if she took it), and is overall more silently caring. i like that more because that's the character i recgonise. don't get me wrong, i LOVE lucy's outbursts and outgoing personality, but she isn't known for being intrusive. she knows when not to step over boundaries, and this movie shows the complete opposite.

I also like when the thief (geese or whatever his name was lmao i love him) thanks her for being her - he admits that even if they were "enemies" (not that severe but u get it lol) he still found her intriguing enough to like her - which made him want to save her in a bad situation later on. he compliments her on her way of bonding even with her rivals (which i LOVE that they brought up - girlie befirends every single person she meets!! not even zeref could hate her lol) (no comment on that everlue guy though lmao).

I think that translates nicely later into how well eclair and lucy bonds later - they were truly only able to become friends thanks to lucy, because let's be so real: eclair's a bitch and i'll say it again. i still like the bond they formed later (they were such lesbians for a while i'd love them together if eclair had a better personality lol) because lucy could really shine in her way of loving her friends - she's the one who gets closest to the people around her, and she cries the hardest when they have to leave.

overall i have a love hate relationship with this movie, cause the characters are lowkey so ooc that they're in character which is ironic lol.

also i can't stand the animation. dragon cry stepped up!! love that animation, the pheonix priestess was just weird - their faces were weird, their propotions all whacky and they didn't look like themselves. some scenes were really pretty though, esp lucy's sad/melanchony faces.

#is it a crime to have these opinions #i'm aware of how critical this is #but i feel like it needed to be said #(it didn't need to be said actually but i just wanted to say it) #fairy tail #lucy heartfilia #natsu dragneel #the pheonix priestess #fairy tail the movie: the pheonix priestess #eclair fairy tail

[icharchivist]

Imagine being King Carl who overall is a decent and reasonable leader (at least I can't think of anything pointing to the contrary off the top of my head rn) and getting attacked by the King of Wales because he was driven insane by literal hell demons while grieving his mom but then he just magically got better and now everyone wants to hop on his dick because he's a gacha game bishounen

(i'm assuming both asks are related)

I mean King Carl enhabled Isabela so much so it poisoned his whole country while also focusing his knight forces on hunting Siegfried and protecting Sylph rather than protecting the people. I get what you're getting at, but him being a bad King at the start of the story is the reason we're here to start with :sob:

LIKE Aglovale did commit crimes, he committed treason, infiltrated an enemy country to make it implode from the inside, and his only motivation for that was indeed "demons driven insanity bc he wanted to see his mom again :(", i'm not defending Aglovale here, his crimes were Really Bad.

If anything Aglovale's "redeeming quality" is that his whole villain arc only lasted a few months, since The Union of the Countries (Savior of Dalmore) happened a bit after the One Year Anniversary of his reign and others timelines hints we have here and there establish that.

I'm not intending to dunk on King Carl (i didn't intend to turn the previous jokey post into a meta lmao esp since the point of the plot was superficial beauty), he's currently doing his best to be a better King and rights his wrongs.

But the Feendrache storyline starts out with the notion that Carl was a bad king due to how he basically enabled Isabela and defended her and turned a blind eyes to her acts. The Plot also condemns him for not taking enough precautions to make sure no one would try to take down the country after Isabela was first taken down.

It's the whole crux of the conflict of Lancelot's base 5*, when we learn that the people of Feendrache don't trust the King anymore because it has been the neglect of the King that had led to poisoning the land and countless of attacks on the land without properly offering protection to the people, and that it really brings conflict for Lancelot because he is torn between his blind duty to the kingdom (a coping mechanism he developed to "not be like Siegfried" at a time he felt betrayed by him), and the fact he cannot actually defend the King while the people are right to be upset at the King.

Which is why the resolution of this FE, set right after 4KoaFK, is that Lancelot takes in Percival's advice that it's not blind devotion to his country, but to the values of his country, that he should stand for, and if the King isn't going to follow those values, then Lancelot has to argue with it. And the resolution comes from Carl coming to Lancelot and telling him he totally agrees he has been a terrible king and he had driven Lancelot in a corner where Lancelot couldn't even advise him and as a result, he left himself and the Kingdom vulnerable.

whenever *you* agree about Carl's responsability in all of that or not is one thing, but the story is pretty much blaming Carl for most of what went wrong, he is NOT framed as a good king in the first few events, it's only in BFAF that he starts to take initiative that makes him respectable by his knights and such work as a contrast to Aglovale who is losing his sanity at this point.

Because we spend most of the story with the knights it's easier to see what was the direct harm caused by the actions, and as such we see Aglovale and Isabela as the ones who hurt us because of Aglovale's and Isabela's actual harmful actions and the vague consequences of "war" in general. But there's an aspect of long lasting consequences that ends up being different especially on a politic level.

Aglovale still took good care of Wales during the war, it shocked Percival at the time. Aglovale always had the opinions of the people by his side, and since him hurting the others countries was temporary despite the conniving approach to it all, Aglovale remained to the eyes of his people, a good King. Carl did NOT take a good care of his people during the calm time of his reign while he was being manipulated by Isabela, and it's something that is put in focus a lot.

And I think it's worth discussing because the Dragon Knights storyline is, to me, the pinnacle of "paying the price for the sins of the past", the storyline. And it goes for all of them, Aglovale is also paying the price directly of what his father had started with the whole Otherworld dealing for example.

Feendrache meanwhile is set up to constantly having to pay the price of how Isabela manipulated the Kings at the time.

Whatever is going to happen with the Merlin storyline, we know for a fact the starting incident is that King Josef apparently promised to help his kingdom, and then he left them to be destroyed. The possibility that it's Josef taking that decision by himself sure is there, but it's also extremely likely Isabela was involved. It doesn't change the fact that if Isabela manipulated the King, the King enabled a situation that led to a mass genocide.

as long as King Josef and King Carl have done Isabela's bidding, they endangered countless of people on a more political scale than personal scale.

And once again i don't mean to be defending Aglovale, because he still did fucked up shits, but framing Carl as someone who is mostly a chill king and stuff is, imo, going past the actual consequences of how him "being chill" for a long time meant "neglecting his people who were being slowly poisoned because he turned a blind eye to his advisor's behavior".

Especially considering how much the Dragon Knights storyarc is building more and more toward having to actually face how much the sovereignty in place has blood on its hands that they will have to answer for. (which is also the conflict of Grandcelot's FE, with the fairies specifically asking Lancelot if he's going to be able to keep defending his country when realizing the basis itself is unforgiveable and built on blood.)

I really like this saga a lot especially for the way those themes are unwinding so i can't just let say "Carl is mostly good we only like Aglovale because he's pretty" yaknow.

Also i concur on the idea that Aglovale is "the most reasonable king", he's really Up There nowadays, he's a very good king to his people, but during Savior of Dalmore he was constantly picking fights up with Dalmore for how Dalmore abandonned them midwar, which was so funny considering Dalmore were on their side because Wales drove a war against them to start with lmao. Savior of Dalmore literally conclude with Aglovale having to apologize for his defensiveness toward Dalmore, and for his crimes toward both countries. Carl is actually the one who's the most reasonable in this event.

Anyway, nuance and all.

But once again the previous post was literally just about who was the prettiest in the room, didn't expect that "prettiest" could be interpreted as "therefore the most right and forgiveable of the people in that room" yaknow.

#ichareply #ichafantalks gbf #ichablogging 4kishi #anonymous #also remember how Feendrache didn't allow low born people to join its military #Lancelot and Vane were legit exceptions until Lancelot reformed everything #Percival himself gets super upset at that because Feendrache basically used to disregard its people a lot #it's not really clear where Wales stand on that #but considering how offended Percival is well. #still. Feendrache being badly administrated is the core of all the issues now #as they're NOW working on adminsitrating it better #ya feel me

[noxs-daydream]

Casually going to be venting / ranting here, will include screenshots

Also, I will not be as active more than likely while I work on cleaning my room and preparing for the move. Initially I was going to talk to my therapist about it but I can't wait for the 22nd to get a second opinion from someone who knows my situation but doesn't have that personal connection to me

For anyone who does decide to read/look, get the popcorn cause you are getting context and screenshots of my in the moment ramblings too And also feel free to put your opinion as if this were an r/AITA or r/WIBTA post! I've always liked those idk why lmao

this is going to be the exact opposite of organized, but I will trY

First, the context:

since 2021-2022 i have babysat my niece when my sister was unable to afford her babysitter, however there started to be long periods where she was unable to pay the money (cheaper than what it is now, which is 10 USD an hour)

march/may of 2022 (don't remember exact month, but i do know it started with an M) i notified her i would be looking to start my GED soon, and months earlier in 2023, i still have not started it as babysitting has moved to full time, 5 days a week with little to no pay to compensate. she claims to have been looking for solutions/alternatives, while- to my knowledge- not having looked into or signed up for any aids/benefits a single mom could have

i have had to message a friend one day, when i made plans for them to come over and spend the next few days with me, and tell them 'so im babysitting my niece'. luckily they adore my niece, so they didn't care about helping me with watching her (note, i've also had plans change last second on days i was supposed to have off via the one watching her being her actual babysitter; i am neurodivergent - ADHD - and hate things changing last second especially when i have plans)

my therapist even agrees that my life is being put on hold so my sister can have a babysitter, and that i shouldn't have to do it. there is no progress so far for being able to say 'no' to babysitting (notice how it's not technical consent, as i have no room to say no without her getting upset?)

months ago, around May/June, i mentioned going down and living with my partner for a month or two in AUGUST, and she started panicking. not only talking bad about how my mom and i react and jump to extremes when i just notified her of the offer my partner ASKING if it would be okay

In general, my life is being put on hold since 17 and maybe even 16 turning 17, years old to accommodate for my sister's financial trouble without a sign I'll be able to further myself.

Let's add onto the fact that I make money where I can via my art, and I pay my own phone bill. That's it. That's the only bill I have to pay. And I can't even do that when I also want to help my mom out with the bills of where we live.

My last proper stretch of time off had been when my father died. Just 2 weeks of time off. Then back to the weekend being my only day off (except for today because I had to babysit today too ontop of watching her on my sister's day off to clean the house my dad lived in and the trailer i live in because of some spiritual culture stuff)

I'm also gonna point out that she had said 'tr@nny' and did not apologize, just stared at me, when I said 'that is a slur' - i'm trans and she has been transphobic to me before (i doubt her views have changed just because she is getting involved in her culture)

She's also the one who kept acknowledging what happened with the spiritual stuff, after tearing into me a lil bit about "after this is over don't talk about it, don't acknowledge it, etc" and now because of her acknowledging it and asking me about it bcuz IG IT DIDNT STOP, I think IM starting to feel whatever the fucker's effect on people is

Now the screenshots (names will be blurred):

#thunder speaks #thunder screams #vent #rant #am i the asshole #would i be the asshole #aita

[reporterleroux]

The Hybrids Society

Characters: c!hybrids x gn!striderhybrid!reader (/p)

A/N: Yet again suggested by my friend my ideas are on a low rn lmao

UPDATE AFTER WRITING:

I have been made aware that Ranboo is uncomfortable with x readers, I am trying to privately save any to find things that may possibly be uncomfortable for him in the future and avoid them, however I cannot do that with asks. This can be read as a friendship if you please, I personally don't think it's weird for friends to hold hands, but if youre uncomfortable please scroll.

-------------------------------------------------------

The hybrids of the SMP always seemed to be pretty innocent, doing their own things, living their own lives. But behind the scenes there was a secret society for them. A society away from normal humans. A society built for them. It simply went by the Hybrids Society, that's all. It was a group for everything, from healing and support, to meetings for when it came to more serious times. When it came to meetings, everyone had to attend, but otherwise it was open for any of them to stroll in and get what they need any time. The main people you would normally see there would be Ranboo, Tubbo, Fundy and Phil, Techno and Foolish would appear from time to time when needed, but otherwise the others were barley seen at all. It was content, quiet enough for them. They had all the support they could need, right where only they could find it. It was only these lot, until you came along.

It was just a normal day for you, strolling around the lowest points of your home on the lava, checking in on all your friends and family, even if they were full Striders and not Human hybrids. That was until 2 people saw you.

"Uh, Phil? That's a person, right?"

Ranboo asked Phil. They were out looking for some Quartz, it would usually be Phil and Techno or Ranboo and Techno, but he was busy today, so the 2 of them went instead. Phil looked awfully confused, so Ranboo pointed in your direction, both seeing you playing with the smaller Striders in the middle of the lava pool.

"Oh yeah mate, it looks so. How are they not burning?"

Phil said. Ranboo just shrugged in confusion. They stood in silence, careful to be aware of their surroundings, watching you trying to figure out how you weren't burning.

"Why don't we go down and talk to them?"

Ranboo suggested. Phil took a moment to look in his inventory for cobble, if they were going to head towards you, they needed enough.

"Got any spare cobble? I think I'm just slightly short of it."

Phil asked Ranboo. You didn't have to ask him twice, as he pulled out all the cobble in his inventory and passed it to Phil. You could tell he was excited to meet you.

It wasn't long until they were at a suitable level and started bridging towards you. About halfway through their bridging, you noticed them, and decided to walk towards them to help them save resources. They somehow didn't notice you, not until you started talking to them.

"Hello."

You simply stated. The bridging blonde was taken by surprise and fell from the shock. If it wasn't for you catching him, he would've fallen into the lava.

"Sorry about that, here, pass me that, I'll help you."

You said as Phil passed you the cobble, and you began to build a bigger platform for them to stand on.

"Thanks... Wh-whats your name?"

The bi coloured boy asked, clearly nervous about meeting you, now that it was happening in person.

"I'm Y/N, how about you guys?"

Ranboo looked at Phil, and Phil looked at Ranboo, both clearly confused on who's answering first.

"I'm Phil, and this is Ranboo."

Phil finally spoke up, pointing at Ranboo as he said his name. He waved in response.

"Nice names! Would you like to stay and chat for a bit? Obviously if you're not busy, it's just nice to talk to someone since noone here speaks English."

You said. The 2 looked at eachother, remembering what they came for.

"We gotta get some Quartz, but you can come with us if you can walk on land?"

Phil asked. You thought about it for a moment. You'd never been on land before. Would you drag them behind their schedule? Striders are infamous for walking slowly on land, is it the same with you?

"Yeah, sure! I'm not sure if I'll slow you down though, I've never walked on land before."

You answered, excitement dying down slightly in the second sentence. Ranboo looked at you in slight disappointment of your excitement dying down.

"Don't worry kid, it's fine. There's a first time for everything, isn't there?"

You nodded in responce, and Phil held out his hand to pull you up, as the platform was one block above lava level. You placed your bare feet on the cobble. It was cold, rocky. But nice. It was different, you liked that. Phil started walking back, Ranboo behind him and you behind Ranboo, surprising you as you were walking at the same speed as them.

You were next to Ranboo, the 2 of you walking behind Phil, talking while he looked for Quartz. Ranboo would unconsciously stop talking at times to study you and your hybrid features. You had pale red skin, dark red hair, and wore a raggy shirt and trousers.

"So,"

Ranboo began.

"What other hybrid features do you have?"

You thought for a moment. The issue is you didn't really know. You never went outside the lava, never tried something new before today.

"To be honest, I'm not sure. I've never left the lava before today. All I know is that I like mushrooms, it's the only edible vegetation here for me and it's quite nice."

Ranboo let out a slight laugh at your honest opinions, which made you smile. You didn't know what you did or how you did it, but it felt nice.

You were all there for a while, you got to know Ranboo quite well and he got to know you quite well. You got back to the portal, kinda upset that it was time for them to leave. They both looked at you, before looking at eachother, and back at you again.

"Would you like to come with us? Y'know, like live in the overworld with us, meet out friends?"

Your eyes visibly lighted up.

"Yes! I'd love to!"

You called out. Ranboo offered you his hand so he could help you through the portal, which you excitedly took. You all stepped through the purple swirls, and before you knew it, you were somewhere you've never seen before.

It was indoors and decorated like your home, granted, but you cod tell it was different. You felt scared. You gripped Ranboos hand tighter, he looked over to you confused until he realised how scared you looked.

"Hey, it's ok, it's a nice world out there, trust me."

Ranboo told you with a smile. You smiled back but still didn't let go of his hand fully, you just released your grip a bit. It was all fine until you got to the exit of the building. It was pouring down with rain. Phil looked over at Ranboo and handed him a coat. You looked confused.

"He's an enderman hybrid, so he can't go into the rain. Wait, since you're a hybrid from the nether, does that mean you can't go out into rain?"

Phil said. You shrugged before you stuck the back of your hand out into the rain. It only took a single drop for you to pull your hand back in pain. You could see where it landed, it was physically sizzling.

"Ah. In that case, wanna get under with me?"

Ranboo asked, lifting up the coat so you could get under. You edged closer to him, as he released your hand and rested it across your back and looped his hand to hold onto your stomach. You reached up for his hand with one of yours, the other pulling the edge of the coat down. It wasn't overly comfortable, it wasn't the biggest coat, and Ranboo had to bend down to your level due to his height. But it was whatever it took for you both to be safe. The issue is you assumed you were running and didn't know where to go.

"Uh, Phil? I guess we're running, right? I have no clue where were going."

Phil looked at you, before looking at Ranboo and turning back around.

"Don't worry, Ranboo will show you. Now, ready? Let's go!"

Phil said before running into the rain, the 2 of you close behind. Ranboo held you close, making sure you weren't hurt at all. He was used to this by now, but was aware you were new to rain, and wanted to make sure you get back in one piece.

You finally reached where you were heading to, and Ranboo stood at his full height, letting the wet coat fall off both your backs. Phil was aware of why you both didn't touch it and picked it up for you. You followed Ranboo into the place.

"This, Y/N, is what we like to call the Hybrids Society. It's a place open for all hybrids whenever they need it. It's hidden away from the non-hybrids, so please don't tell them about it."

Ranboo said. You nodded when he said not to tell the non-hybrids, as you both approached a corner. You tugged on his jacket to grab his attention.

"I'm not sure about this mind..."

You said nervously. Sure, you were excited to meet hybrids like you, but it was also nerve wracking.

"Don't stress, you'll be fine."

You grabbed Ranboos hand and walked behind him as he walked around the corner. Phil had already walked ahead.

"Hey Fundy, Tubbo, Techno! Were back!"

Ranboo said as he walked in. You hoped his tall figure would hide you since you were considerably shorter than him.

"Hey Ranboo! Why's your hand behind your back?"

Fundy asked, as Tubbo nodded in agreement to his question. Techno was looking through chests for potion ingredients, not paying attention to them. Phil was in the corner smiling, looking for some clothes for you to wear. Ranboo looked at you, as you looked back up at him. He smiled at you softly.

"Remember what I said, it'll be fine."

You slowly poked your head out from behind him, before showing your whole self, waving at them nervously, still holding Ranboos hand.

"This is Y/N. They're a Strider Hybrid and we met them in the Nether earlier."

Ranboo introduced you. Techno perked up at the fact you were found in the Nether and finally looked at you both.

"Hello Y/N! I'm Tubbo, I'm a Goat hybrid!"

Tubbo introduced himself as he waved at you excitedly. You smiled and waved back.

"I'm Fundy, a Fox hybrid. Nice to meet you."

Phil had finished looking for clothes by now and was watching you all. He could see Techno looking at you in curiosity as to your hybrid abilities. He made his way over to him and nudged him.

"Go on then mate, introduce yourself!"

Phil whisper-shouted to Techno.

"Uh, yeah right, sorry. I'm Technoblade, but you can just call me Techno."

He said in a monotone voice before turning back to what he was doing.

"Y/N, here, go put these on, it's probably more comfortable than what you're wearing now."

Phil said as he handed you the clothes he picked out, baggy jeans and a red shirt. You took them before Phil pointed towards where you could go change. You walked off to go change, while the others continued the conversation.

"So, about you guys,"

Fundy began with a smirk on his face. Ranboo instantly cut him off, knowing what he was going to say.

"Were just friends. They were nervous about leaving their long time home, and I don't blame them. We talked alot during the trip so I suppose we got quite close and they started clinging to me for safety? I'm not sure, we'll just see how it goes."

Ranboo said. It was a simple response, with a simple theory, he just didn't know if it was correct.

You later walked out of where you were changing in your new clothes, happy with the selection.

"These are nice, thanks Phil."

You said. Phil simply nodded his head slightly.

"Hungry? There's some mushrooms over there if that's what you fancy. They're overworld ones though, not ones from the Nether."

Ranboo asked. You headed towards where Ranboo pointed and looked at the mushrooms. They were way different to ones you were used to, they were beige or red and white spotted, rather than blue and orange. You looked back over as if to say "Are these safe to eat?" and they all nodded. You simply shrugged before taking one of each and trying them one after the other.

"Mm! These are nice! Different from the usual, granted but it's nice that they are different."

You sealed the approval of the mushrooms.

You hung out at the base of the Society for a bit longer, meeting more hybrids and getting to know others better. It was getting late, and there was just one problem. You didn't have anywhere to sleep. You started getting tired, and they all noticed.

"Hey, we got beds here, want us to stay here tonight and we'll find you somewhere to sleep tomorrow?"

Tubbo asked, praying the others wouldn't mind what he put them up to. All you could do was nod, before you physically went out cold.

"Damn, they are tired, huh. It's been a long day for them I suppose."

Phil said, while Ranboo picked you up before taking you to one of the beds and staying until you felt comfortable.

"Goodnight Y/N. See you tomorrow."

He said before walking out. It was a different life, of course it was, but it was going to be a nicer one for you, with more people to talk to, and a best friend you would trust with your life.

-------------------------------------------------------

A/N: a place for them would be nice where they just do stuff yeah

#dream smp #ranboo #philza #tubbo #fundy #technoblade #ranboo x reader #philza x reader #tubbo x reader #fundy x reader #technoblade x reader

[genshin-hours]

Ooh! Welcome back! Hope you've been well and taking care of yourself. Don't forget to do so, okay?

As for my request, would it be alright for HCs of Antonio, Wu Chang and Andrew with a S/O who always rescues or at least tries their best when rescuing and usually the last to go out in matches because they want to make sure everyone who can get out gets out fine? Hope this made sense.

Thank you for the hard work!

antonio, wu chang, and andrew with selfless, rescuer s/o (gn reader)

this is a cool ask! and tysm darling I appreciate it 💖 I hope you're taking care of yourself as well. and you're welcome ty for the lovely ask. hopefully this is good!

antonio

this poor man hates going against you

he tries so desperately not to hurt you, and it physically pains him everytime he sees you bodyblocking for your teammates while on half health or attempting dangerous rescues

if he finds you, he will definitely miss you on purpose or play cat and mouse with you until he finds someone else and then leaves you to chase them

it pains antonio to down you when you come barreling in for an impossible rescue

no matter if you're about to win or lose, you're always out last, waiting for everyone at the gate

he hates it because it forces him to make a choice

he will swing, and he often hits you on detention, and if your team has already secured a tie, it will pain him, but he will chair you usually

sometimes he will just carry you out the gate with a kiss on your forehead though

however, if you're one of the last ones left, he will just gently hold you and look for the dungeon

antonio knows how it pains you when you're the last one left even though you've done everything you can to help your team

antonio will spend time with you in the match, telling you that you did a wonderful job, and you played well

if your team wins, he will walk around with you a little bit and chat, taking you to the other gate and walking the long way

if it's a bad match and you're hurt, he will do his best to patch you up after the match and kiss your scrapes and cuts better

always reminds you to stop sacrificing yourself so much, and that while you're the rescuer, you have to realize it is futile sometimes

he is very proud of how strong and determined you are though, and he admires you for your spirit :)

wu chang

fan and xie have different opinions about this

xie admires your courage, but he wishes you would be more careful

he admires how well you bodyblock and how clean your rescues are sometimes, definitely praises you about it later

but, he sometimes chastises you for bodyblocking on half health or attempting to rescue on detention

he hates having to down and chair you, and it pains him even more when nobody comes to rescue you and he must send you off with a gentle kiss

even though you guys are together, he isn't going light on you, though he isn't as bad as fan

he might accidentally miss you or hit you much lighter than he hits the others on your team, but he is still playing the game fairly

he sometimes sighs when he sees you struggling to make it to the gate because you stayed behind to help someone, and it hurts him to down you, but it has to be done

xie is alright with giving ties, but he will seldom let you go if 2 or more of your teammates have already escaped

sorry, love, but you're getting the chair 💔

fan on the other hand will make an intense game out of the match

works harder to chase and down you, but it's only because he needs to get you out of his mind

he won't chair you, just leaves you in the corner or at the top of the hospital and tells you to stay while he hunts your teammates

he definitely gets irritated when you pull off so many rescues and bodyblocks, and he gets upset when you attempt a futile rescue when you both know you're not making it out

also makes him mad when you stay outside the gate too long waiting for someone, and if you block his hit on your other teammate so that they escape, he is chairing you no question and scolding you

fan almost never gives ties, sorry 💔 but sometimes xie will coax him into letting you go out the dungeon (thank him later for that)

they both admire your courage but they wish you would stop sacrificing yourself so much

xie loves seeing how caring you are for your teammates, but fan doesn't understand

andrew

andrew is ultimately confused by your behavior

he is a rescuer himself, so he wonders why you offer to rescue even before your teammate is put on the chair

andrew gets upset when he sees you getting downed alot, and it pains him to see your scrapes and bruises

he gets super worried when you leave the safety of the gate in an attempt to rescue someone across the map or help someone get to the gate, and he often will follow you for backup

andrew is skittish but when it comes to his s/o he will follow them anywhere

if you're body blocking for someone, ready to take the hit, he will jump to take it for you, urging you to run to the gate as fast as you can.

andrew is surprised by how clean your rescues are, and he is definitely blushing when you come to save him

send him a wink and he will melt on the chair

when it's his turn to rescue, though, he will bodyblock like hell

nobody is touching his angel >:(

he admires how strong and brave you are, and he admits he could never be that tough to stay behind

andrew tends to your injuries afterwards, kissing them carefully and begging you to let him do the sacrificing next time

he knows you'll keep being selfless and staying behind, so expect him to follow you

and expect your team to whine at you when you both get downed accidentally because he tries to protect you lmao

#identity v #idv #identity v headcanons #identity v imagines #identity v x reader #idv headcanons #idv imagines #idv x reader #idv antonio #idv violinist #idv wu chang #idv xie bian #idv fan wujiu #xie bian #fan wujiu #idv andrew kreiss #idv andrew #idv grave keeper #andrew kreiss

[midnight-on-pluto]

I really really really love your writing and the way you portray the Bnha boys! It's really accurate (in my opinion) and always a pleasure to read!💞💖💞💖❤❤❤

This one is a little more personal cause I'd like to see it in your writing, but could you do scenarios about how the Bnha boys react to finding lots of self harm scars on thier s/o? Specifically outer thigh and with fresh marks.

If you aren't comfortable with this I totally understand and you are more than free to reject this ask!

Here is a cute baby to make up for any uncomfy feelings and to lighten up the mood

They Find Your Self Harm Scars masterlist

Genre: fluff/comfort/angst

Warnings: Self harm scars mentions, little bit of angst, PLEASE DO NOT READ IF MENTIONS OF HURTING YOURSELF TRIGGERS YOU, I have other writing that would be better suited for you, don’t feel pressure to read this just because you like my writing and want to support. Thank you 💕

A/N: Thank you so much! I really try my hardest to portray the boys well lmao, I love you very very much kisses for you 😙💕💕 Yes!! I used to self harm so this is pretty personal to me as well. Once again if you are triggered by mentions of scars please shy away from just this one! There’s much more others you can read, but if this will help you feel better then please read on, my work is for your comfort and I wouldn’t want you to feel triggered by what I write 💕

✄——————————————————————

𓆝 Midoriya is a very happy and bouncy friend so when he finds your scars he’s so sad. He never knew you were hurting and you never said anything, so he never knew until now. He just placed a hand on your thigh and looks up at you with sadness. You’re flustered with his hand on your thigh and embarrassed that he’s noticed.

He notices the effect this has on you and pulls away immediately, giving you a tight hug and telling you he’s here whenever you need someone. You always call him whenever you need him, asking for cuddles or hugs, anything. He doesn’t care if you cry on his shoulder as long as you don’t do that.

You rant to him and he enjoys listening, nodding and making slight comments. He’s become your new comfort item and to be honest, after time you realize that you’ve been cutting less and less…..

𓆝 Todoroki may be dense, but self harm scars and fresh cuts, are something he’s familiar with. It’s not something that he’s personally done, but Touya had a multitude of scars, which included ones self inflicted with a pocket knife Endeavour had given him. When he first sees them his first reaction is sadness. Not for you, but with you. The fact that you had been doing that without his knowledge made him feel like he’s failed as a friend, and he doesn’t have much experience with friendship fo begin with.

He figures the last thing you need right now is for him to vanish, or push away because of this. He wants to better himself, as a friend. He tries to talk to you about it one day while you both studied. “Y/N, I’d just like to ask about your scars, on your thigh.” He notices how embarrassed you get and it seems like you don’t want to talk. “I know what they are, but I just want to help you, you’re my friend right? How can I help you?”

The gesture warms your heart, you rant to him, talking about any problems you have. And he listens, he really listens. Closely, with intent, and he reacts to them, giving you helpful advice.

𓆝 Iida has never really seen self harm scars nor really understands it. When he first notices it he’s so confused, “how did you get those scars, Y/N? Those cuts look bad…” Luckily you two were alone when he noticed but you still get super embarrassed. He’s so confused!! How are you confused?! He’s so sorry for anything he might’ve done wrong.

You have to explain to him that no, it’s okay the scars are just really personal. Still doesn’t get it so when he heads back to his dorm later he 100% looks up “strange scars on friend’s thigh” into google. Then he understands. He’s kinda sad you didn’t say anything to him but he understands what you meant by they’re personal.

He doesn’t know if he should tell somebody else, but he doesn’t want you to get upset. He decides that he should just help you out and make sure you know he’s someone you can trust and confide in. He doesn’t stop you, but he helps suppress the need to hurt yourself.

𓆝 Bakugo is angry. Not with you but with himself. How could he not see you’re hurting? How could he not be there for you when you obviously needed him. He’s tried so hard to become a better friend, not only to you, but to all of 1-A.

At first he distanced himself from you. It’s obvious to him that he’s not helping you so he’s not a good friend, he needs to leave for you to get better. It’s only after he’s been ignoring you for a week that he notices you’re doing worse. He sees the bags under your eyes, the puffy red of your face as if you’ve been crying all night. He can tell you’re hurting more, and that’s what makes him come back.

After that he doesn’t leave your side. He’s there for you, always. Him distancing made things worse so doing the opposite should make things better, right? He walks you to your dorm, he comes to get you in the morning. The sweater you told him you liked, sitting in your closet now and it still smells like him. “That’s what people like, right?” He asks when you question him. Class 1-A always wonders if you two are dating now and Bakugo snarls at them before hurrying you both away.

𓆝 Kirishima understands. He’s someone who’s definitely thought about it so when you tell him, he does everything right. He understands and helps you patch up fresh scars, rubbing scar cream on the old one. He lectures you about infections and how you should always disinfect whatever you use after, then disinfect the cut too.

He’s there when you need someone, and he’s there when you need him to patch stuff up. Seeing what you do hurts him, but he’d rather know when you do it and know that you’re safe and sound from infection.

He becomes a shoulder to cry on and someone you confide in. After a while he realizes you haven’t asked him to patch stuff up in a while and he questions you. It turns out having him around has actually helped, any of the newer scars have been patched up perfectly by yourself, and even then there’s barely any! He gives you a tight hug and congratulated you.

𓆝 When Kaminari notices he’s immediately thinking of other coping mechanisms. He’s the king of coping and offers many different approaches. You first start to notice little colouring books on your desk after he leaves, then there’s a journal, then a cassette player with tons of different mixtapes, all made by him.

You do try all the methods but they don’t completely stop the self harm. He’s offered so many things he even mentioned masturbation, good lord this boy.

Only stops once you’ve found one you love. Eventually you do and he’s so happy! This doesn’t completely stop you but you do it less and less, since you usually do the other coping mechanism instead :)

𓆝 Shinsou honestly doesn’t care? Not that he doesn’t care about you! He just thinks that what you do on your own time is your business. He does prefer that you don’t, but he can’t stop you and he won’t force you to stop either.

He does stay with you more often, napping in your room instead of his, studying with you, just doing “random visits.” It’s sweet gestures that he gives you, but he never once begs you to stop.

He understands why you do it, since I headcannon him as doing it himself, in middle school. He’s since stopped but he shows you how he understands so you don’t feel so alone, it’s really hard for him but it’s all worth it if it makes you trust him more and feel less alone.

#tw sh scars #tw self harm #pluto’s asks 🌙 #mha fluff #mha headcanons #midoriya hcs #midorya izuku #midoriya headcanons #deku headcanons #deku hcs #bakugo katsuki #katsuki bakugo #bakugo hcs #bakugo headcanons #shotou todoroki #todoroki shoto #todoroki hcs #todoroki headcanons #iida hcs #iida headcanons #iida tenya #kirishima hcs #kirishima headcanon #kaminari hcs #kaminari headcanons #denki hcs #denki headcanons #shinsou hcs #shinsou headcanons

[prettyboybarzal]

lessons in romance // nate mackinnon x reader

summary: nate mackinnon is really bad at keeping a steady girlfriend. so bad that’s become somewhat of a joke between him and the boys. but you come along and try to set him straight.

word count: 14k+

author’s note: it’s finally here. i’m honestly surprised at how fast i cranked this out... which is actually a LOT longer than most people write on here so mayb i shouldn’t brag lmao! this fic was inspired by THIS gifset. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE give me feedback/reblog!!!!!!

warnings: smut (i jumped out of my comfort zone people. i finally wrote some lmfao) & mentions of a past toxic ex

Weekends were better spent in bed or visiting family, not sitting in a crowded bar with men who reminded you slightly of your ex-boyfriend. You were probably overreacting a little bit because the guys truly meant well, but their overly boy-ish energy was startlingly similar to that of your ex. Maybe a few more drinks would help the cause and you could get passed the sex jokes.

Mel Landeskog was the reason you were there. She wouldn’t take no for an answer, much like her husband, and so you were sitting across the booth from some of the largest men you’d ever seen in your life. Gabe gave you the rundown of their names as they arrived though the only one you could remember was Cale. He was a perpetually blushing 21-year-old named after a vegetable; how could you forget him?

“Do you think Nate’s upset about this one?” Cale asked. The new topic of conversation was their friends’ disastrous date since he texted to tell them he was broken up with and was on his way to them. “They were sort of serious.”

“We’re about to find out,” Gabe announced, nodding towards the entrance of the bar. Nate was on his way to the booth, tired smile on his lips. As he got closer, he started shaking his head and the table erupted in chirps at his expense.

You recognized him from earlier at the Landeskog’s pregame. He was slipping out of the front door as you stepped in. His cologne was the type the good-looking guys always wear, and you weren’t disappointed when you looked up at him. He was handsome with the sleeves of his dress shirt rolled to his elbows and the top three buttons undone, and when he smiled, you all but swallowed your tongue.

He began to greet his teammates. The chain around his neck caught the light of the DJ booth and you found yourself gazing at it. You tore your eyes away from the gold at the sound of Mel’s voice introducing you.

“This is my girlfriend, YN, from my Saturday morning Cycle class,” she said. “And, YN, this is my husband’s boyfriend, Nate MacKinnon.”

He threw his head back in a laugh at Mel’s joke as he extended a hand to you. “Nice to meet you.”

You listened to the quips from his teammates, each one with their own opinion about Nate’s relationship or lack thereof. It seemed like this wasn’t the first time in recent months that he’d been broken up and it had become somewhat of a spectacle to the boys. Mel, who’d seen this song and dance one too many times, wrapped her fingers around your elbow and tugged you with her towards the bar.

“What was that about?”

“Nate can’t hold down a girlfriend,” she explained. “It’s been a joke since he first came here because they almost all have the same issue with him.”

“And what is that?”

“He’s not romantic enough.”

You glanced back over your shoulder and watched the boys laughing amongst each other. It looked like they were celebrating as they lifted their beers in a sad looking toast, and it hit you right where it hurt.

You really saw your ex-boyfriend in the group now and, though you tried not to make assumptions, you found it hard to set the first impression aside. The liquor in your system didn’t help. With each joke about his dating misadventures, you became less of a fan of him and by the end of the night you were bubbling over in annoyance.

Gabe and Mel offered Nate a ride home towards the end of the night and you managed to keep your expression neutral when he accepted. As they headed out to grab the car, you and Nate waited at the curb several feet away from each other.

“I’m sorry about your break up,” you offered after a moment of silence. The statement came out more like a question and Nate’s lips quirked up into a smirk at the inflection of your voice. “Sorry, I just can’t tell if you’re upset or not, so I don’t know if I should even offer my condolences.”

“I’m, uh, I’m not upset,” he began. “I saw it coming.”

“How so?”

“Let’s just say this isn’t the first time a girl’s broken up with me for not being romantic enough,” he said. Thoughts were filling your head faster than you could make sense of them. There was no reason for the situation to annoy you as much as it did. You didn’t know this guy and the odds that you ever saw him again were slim.

“So, if it’s not the first time, why hasn’t anything changed?”

“Excuse me?” he asked. There was a crease between his eyebrows. He hadn’t been expecting you to respond like that. You shouldn’t have. It wasn’t your business

“I mean, you act like a martyr when you probably would be successful in love if you just put in the romantic effort these girls are craving,” you said. Your anger had begun to boil over and words were spilling from your mouth faster than you could stop them. “Guys like you are the worst. You lead girls on and make them think they’re special. Next thing they know, they’ve been wasting time on you and your lack of effort.”

The comment made Nate take a step away from you. His eyebrows drew together in shock and confusion. As you spoke, he turned his body to you and crossed his arms over his chest. The moment you closed your mouth, he interjected. “You don’t even know me.”

“I don’t have to,” you argued, turning to him. You were in a stand-off with a man several inches taller than you, and to any passerby it probably looked a little bit funny, but you weren’t backing down. “I know guys like you. I’ve dated guys like you.”

Before Nate could continue arguing, the Landeskogs pulled up to the curb. Mel hollered out for you two and the topic of conversation was dropped.

---

You regretted everything you said to Nate the moment you woke up the morning after. It wasn’t like you to be so rude, especially not to someone you didn’t know. Your heart stopped every time Mel texted you in the days following. You thought that at any moment she’d confront you about what you said to him, but it never came. As the week carried on, you found yourself forgetting the harsh words spoken outside the bar and the worry stopped.

Until Thursday night.

The knock at your apartment door was unexpected. You met your roommate, Mara’s, narrowed eyes over the dirty dishes you were working on. By the look on both your faces, neither one of you had a guest on the way over. She turned on her heel to check the peephole and the next look she gave you was equally as confusing as the previous one. She still opened the door.

“Does YN live here?”

The voice sent shockwaves through your veins and you stopped your movements, plates held just above your head as you were about to slide them into the cabinet. Nate MacKinnon was at your apartment. Mara nodded at him slowly before stepping back to let him in.

“Hi,” he greeted. His hands were tucked into his sweatshirt pocket, legs clad in compression leggings and a pair of shorts. He looked like he’d just come from a workout and his hair was still wet from the shower he’d taken before coming over. “I hope you don’t mind. Gabe gave me your address.”

“No problem,” you told him through a shaky breath. “Come in. Come sit at the island.”

He removed his shoes and approached slowly, sending Mara one last smile as she crept off down the hall. You silently cursed her for leaving you with your shaking hands as you cleared the clutter from the countertop. You watched him as he settled into the stool across from you, mirroring the kind smile he was sharing with you.

“Can I get you anything? Water? Coffee? I have food, too, if you’re hungry.”

“Don’t worry about me,” he said. His voice was softer now than it had been before. “I wanted to talk to you about the other night. It won’t take long.”

“Oh?” you asked, trying to ignore the way your stomach dropped. You wanted to start apologizing right then. You didn’t have a reason to go and butt into his personal life like you had. You should’ve kept your mouth shut. Guys like him didn’t care about your opinions. “I’m sorry for what I said. When I get drunk, I have the tendency to shoot off at the mouth.”

“Don’t apologize,” he said. Your mouth snapped shut. “No one keeps me in check. All the guys think the fact that I can’t keep a girlfriend is a big joke because I’m so bad at dating. It shouldn’t be a joke. So, I’m sorry and thank you.”

You dropped your hands to the counter and leaned against it. The last thing you expected was for Nate to thank you, so you needed a moment to gather your thoughts. His eyes glistened as he watched you and then the corner of his lip quirked up because you started giggling.

“You should not be thanking me,” you said. With that simple statement, the tension in the air lifted. You turned your back on him, indicating that if the conversation must go on, you were going to be doing the dishes as well. “I was just being bitter the other night.”

“You had every right to be,” he said. “I was gloating.”

“You were kind of gloating,” you mumbled. You hadn’t meant for Nate to hear, and he knew that, but he laughed anyway. You turned to face him with an apologetic smile. “Sorry.”

“Stop apologizing,” he said. He didn’t even know why you were apologizing at that point. It seemed like you’d apologize for taking up space and that made him feel a bit sad. He smiled politely at you anyway, to signal he wasn’t annoyed by the apologies, and it lit up his features in a way you hadn’t noticed the other night. “Anyway, I came here for a reason.”

“Okay.”

“I need you to teach me to be romantic.”

He delivered it tentatively, as though he was afraid of the way you might react. In the split second that followed, your mouth open and closed twice as every possible response came to your mind. He waited patiently.

Finally, “You don’t even know me. How can you be so sure that I’m the right person to teach you this stuff?”

“You’re a girl,” he explained, deadpan. “Girls know romance.” You snorted at how adorably dumb he was. Your hand flew up to cover your mouth in embarrassment and your cheeks burned as he grinned at you, amused by the sound of your laugh. “What do you say?”

---

Mondays were always your least favorite day of the week. Every weekend, your workload piled up and most Mondays you could hardly take a lunch break because you were so busy getting shit done. Whenever you came home from work on Mondays, you were wiped. Mara always made sure to have dinner ready for you when you got in, and the two of you often sat on the couch while eating those nights.

That Monday, you were sure that you’d be in bed before the Bachelor even started. But then Nate showed up unannounced. Mara was in the middle of washing the dishes this time, so you were the one to open the door. He greeted you with a goofy smile and a large electrical wire. Without a word, you stepped to the side and he was kicking off his shoes to enter the living room. Mara caught the roll of your eyes as you followed him.

He was standing beside the television when you entered the room. The wire he’d brought with him was connected to his cellphone while he found a port for the other end. You sat at the corner of sectional and waited, yawns escaping your mouth every minute or so. The day had been long enough already.

Suddenly, the television lit up with his cellphone background on full display. He held it up to show you, a grin present on his face.

“I need your help,” he began. He tapped one of the dating apps on his home screen and immediately you were regretting letting him in. You realized he wasn’t leaving any time soon as he unraveled the cord and plopped down beside you on the couch. Mara entered the room, eyes catching on the beautiful brunette woman on the screen, and then she gave Nate a curious look. “Come on, Mara. Join us.”

An amused smile came to her lips as she sat on the other end of the couch.

“I am not swiping for you,” you grunted, rubbing at your eyes. “I have no interest in judging girls off these apps.”

“Relax, YN,” he said. “I’m not asking you to play matchmaker. Just help me talk to this girl.”

“You need help talking to girls?” Mara asked as she gave him the once over. You laughed out loud while Nate blushed.

“I don’t need help,” he began. He turned his attention back to the television and pulled up the profile of a beautiful brunette woman. “I just don’t want to come on too strong, or douche-y. This girl is perfect and I wanna take her out.”

“Can you two make this quick?” Mara asked. “The Bachelor’s on tonight.”

“And my bed is calling my name.”

Nate peered at you over his shoulder. He smiled at your tired eyes, drooping as you leaned your head on your hand. He leaned back, stopping inches from your face and said, “I’ll make it quick.”

To your surprise, and Mara’s delight, he reached up and ran his hand over your hair before turning back to the television. He gave a rundown about the girl on the television, but his words went in one ear and out the other. Your glazed eyes watched as he typed out messages to her, and you laughed when Mara made fun of the way he was talking. (“Why the fuck are you talking like that? Are you her father?”) Finally, he turned on you.

“Are you gonna help or what, love doctor?”

“Give me the phone,” you said, extending your hand. He plopped it into your palm and watched you type out the message on the television screen. It took you less than a minute to type out a sweet message asking the girl out on a date before you were shoving the phone back into his hand. “You overthink too much.”

“That’s it?”

“Short and sweet,” you noted with a shrug. “I’d say yes.”

Nate’s eyes cut to you and you felt a chill run down your spine at the intensity behind them. Mara cleared her throat as you diverted your attention from him, shaking the feeling you got from his baby blues. She smiled sweetly at the two of you. “Can I detach your phone from our TV now? It’s almost time for Bach.”

You peeled yourself off the couch and headed to the bathroom to wash your face before changing into sweats and a t-shirt. You returned to the living room to find Nate with his feet up on the coffee table. Mara had tuned the television to ABC and the Bachelor recap was playing. He looked up as you entered and frowned.

“Stay out here a little bit longer,” he proposed, bottom lip jutting out in a pout. “We’ll watch some of this and see if she says yes to the date.”

“Nate, I’m exhausted.”

“C’mon.”

You couldn’t say no, not when he was pouting like that. So, you rolled your eyes and walked around the couch to plop down in the spot you’d been before. Before long, your eyes were closing and you couldn’t keep them open any longer.

Nate didn’t realize you fell asleep, but he didn’t mind when you leaned against his arm as a pillow. He stiffened for a moment, unsure of what to do, but a soft snore escaped your lips and he found himself smiling down at your peaceful face. He didn’t move for the rest of the episode because he was too nervous to wake you. When the credits began to roll, he dropped a hand to your knee and shook you lightly.

Your eyes opened, bleary from sleep, and you found that you’d fallen asleep on him. You jerked away, realizing that it was probably too close for comfort, and smiled apologetically. He returned the smile before standing and gathering his things from the coffee table.

“Get some sleep,” he said on his way to the front door. You hummed in response, following him to the door to say a proper goodbye and lock up. He pulled you into a hug before going, shocking you once again by with how gentle he was despite hardly knowing you.

“Did she say yes?” you asked as he pulled away from the hug. “I almost forgot to ask.”

“Yeah, she did.”

---

Lesson #1: The First Date

In the chaos of the week that followed, you’d almost forgotten that you promised Nate your assistance before the date. You weren’t used to being accountable for someone else like you were now, so it wasn’t surprising.

“There is a man at reception asking for you.”

The office receptionist, Debby, was standing in the doorway with a giddy smile on her lips. You knew immediately from the look in her eye that the man at the front desk was going to be the talk of the office for a week.

You stood, following her out the door of your office and down the hall. As you rounded the corner to reception, you saw Nate leaning against the desk. He was sucking on a mint from the bowl in front of him and smiled wide when he saw you.

“What are you doing here?”

“I have my date tonight, remember?” he asked. One glance at your watch told you that you worked a little too late. You cursed under your breath, turning quickly to head back to the office and send one last email. Nate hesitated, but ultimately decided to follow you down the hallway. He eyed the pencil skirt you were wearing, eyes lingering a little too long on your ass. He shook his head from his trance, knowing damn well that he was just asking for trouble.

Nate lingered in the doorway of your office for a moment before his eyes landed on a picture frame across the room that caught his attention. It was a marble frame without a photo like it had been removed and never replaced. He picked the frame up and turned it over in his hands, then turned to you.

“You need a picture.”

“What?” you asked, eyes still trained on the screen. They flickered up to see what he was talking about and then got right back to work. “Used to be a picture of me and my ex. Nobody’s important enough to put in.”

Nate placed the frame down. He felt a pang of sadness for you in that moment, but distracted himself by moving onto the next shelf and playing with some of the desk games on it. He was in the middle of fiddling with your Rubiks cube when you stood from the computer.

“You’re wearing that?” you asked. Nate winced at the question, glancing down at the jeans and t-shirt he was wearing. When he looked back up, you were wearing a shit eating grin. “I’m fucking with you.”

“Jesus, YN.” He clutched his heart and released a deep breath. You rounded the desk and grabbed your jacket from the hook. As you swung it over your shoulders, Nate stepped up to help. You slipped your arms through the arm holes trying to suppress the flair up of butterflies in your stomach.

When you reached the sidewalk outside the building, you led him down the block to a florist. Their window displays were your favorite in the city and you often found yourself going out of the way to peak at them on shitty days. You daydreamed about the day someone bought you a bouquet from there specifically.

The bell above the door rang as you stepped in. The smell of fresh flowers hit your nose and you sniffed it in happily. You grinned back at Nate and he felt a tug at his heart at your excitement.

“Can I help you?”

You bounded over to the woman behind the counter, Nate following behind you a little awkwardly. You gave him an expectant look and then his brain finally caught up with the question. As he leaned forward to look at the flowers in the case in front of you, his hand pressed against the small of your back.

“What would you get?” he asked curiously. You took a sharp intake of breath at the lack of space between you and pulled away to look at the flowers.

“Sunflowers and baby’s breath are my favorites.”

Nate smiled at the woman behind the counter and repeated what you’d just said, adding, “It’s for a first date, so I don’t need it too big or anything.”

You laughed at his explanation, and then the blush that come to his cheeks when he realized how silly he sounded. Neither of you noticed the confused look on the florist’s face. She was about to comment on how cute the two of you were, and in hindsight she was glad she kept her mouth shut. He reached out and squeezed your arm as a warning to stop teasing him. You stepped away completely, still smiling stupidly as he turned to pay.

“I’d’ve put roses in there too,” you told him once you were back on the sidewalk. “But this is only a first date. It might’ve been a little intense.”

“Roses?” he asked. You hummed in response, plucking the flowers out of his hand as you continued in the direction of the restaurant he was meeting his date at. “Good to know, you know, for the future.”

The walk to the date spot was only about ten minutes long and most of it was spent talking about your plans for the weekend as opposed to his date. He was going to be away with the team and you had plans to visit family. You kept thinking to yourself that you needed to stop getting distracted by him and his good looks and his sweet disposition. He was dating someone, and that person was not and would not be you, but he kept surprising you with the way he weaseled himself into your life.

“We’ll have to hang out next week sometime, then,” he said, snatching the flowers back out of your hand playfully. You nodded, but you were taken by surprise. It didn’t make sense that he’d want to hang around you without getting something out of it, whether it was dating advice or something more. Clearly, Nate didn’t care and you were beginning to wonder if maybe you’d get a beautiful friendship out of this nonsense.

“Any last-minute advice?”

“Don’t say anything dumb,” you said to him, emboldened by the realization that you might actually be friends now. Nate laughed out loud. “You think I’m just being funny, but sometimes you say stupid shit.”

“Jeeze,” he muttered. “Way to fuck up my self-esteem right before a date.”

“Oh, please.” You rolled your eyes and came to a stop just before the crosswalk he’d be using. He slowed to a stop as well, the bouquet of flowers falling to his side as he looked down at you. You reached out to right them with an amused smile. “Careful with these.”

“Got it, boss.”

You stalled a moment more, gazing at the flowers. You almost felt jealous of the girl going to dinner with Nate because those flowers would look perfect in a vase on your dining room table. “God, I really hope she appreciates those.”

The tone of your voice took Nate by surprise. It sounded a little sad, and full of yearning, and he felt kind of bad that he’d be walking away with the flowers you’d been admiring the entire walk from the florist. Even so, you said your goodbyes and he watched you turn on your heel to head home. He felt stuck in place, eyes trained on your retreating frame while his feet were cemented to the sidewalk. Before he could second guess himself, and his motives, he called out your name.

“Wait, YN!” When you turned, he was halfway down the sidewalk to you and, once he was within arm’s length, he plucked a sunflower from the bouquet and extended it. “For you.” Your cheeks felt red hot as your fingers curled around the stem. You hoped he couldn’t notice a blush. If he did, he didn’t make it known and left with a simple, “I’ll talk to you later.”

A stupid smile sat on your lips the entire way home. You felt the thumping of your heart long after you’d entered your place and placed the flower in the dining table vase. No matter what you found yourself doing that night, Nate remained at the back of your mind. You swore to yourself that it was because you wondered how his date was going, nothing more. But, when your eyes kept finding their way to the sunflower on the dining room table, you worried that maybe the reason you couldn’t stop thinking about him was something more.

---

You grabbed dinner with Mel the next Tuesday. Because of your trip to visit family, the two of you agreed to take a week off and reschedule some sort of get together for Tuesday. Gabe was home so he’d be with Linnea, and you were just happy that it wasn’t Monday. She was in the middle of a story when your phone lit up beside you; Nate’s name was on full display.

When’s our next lesson?

You snatched the phone off the table and away from Mel’s prying eyes, hoping that it wouldn’t peak her curiosity. The movement itself was enough to stir her, though, and Mel was soon leaning forward to see what was going on. She reached out and pushed the phone down, craning her neck to read the text.

“Next lesson?” she asked, eyebrow quirking. “Who is this?”

“It’s Nate MacKinnon.”

You said it so quickly and so nonchalant that Mel actually continued picking at her brunch before she reacted. Her fork clattered to the plate. “Did you just say Nate MacKinnon?”

“This,” you began gesturing at her wild eyes and wicked smile, “is exactly why I didn’t tell you.”

“Why?” she asked, feigning innocence. “Because I’m totally going to take this and run with it?” You dropped your face in your hands. “You should go for it. He’s a little dumb, but mostly cute. You definitely have the patience to deal with him though.”

“Mel, it’s not like that at all,” you told her. “I’m helping him learn how to be more romantic.” Her eyebrows shot up to her hairline in shock. “I’m serious. You know just as well as I do that he’s bad dating. He asked for my help after we met. I have enough experience with douchebags to tell him what not to do.”

“You sure do,” Mel agreed. You laughed at her response and an easy smile spread across her face. “Maybe teaching him a thing or two about how to be romantic will remind you of what you deserve.”

You sighed, picking up the coffee in front of you to take a sip. Mel knew better than anyone, besides Mara, how shitty the guys in your life had been. She met your ex last year just before your break up and she hated him from the moment you introduced the two. He never deserved you and her heart broke the longer you spent wasting your time on him. When you finally ended it, she was your biggest supporter.

You left the message unanswered, not wanting to give her anymore ammo in what was sure to be her new mission. When she got up to head to the bathroom before the check came, you opened the message from him. The last conversation was from Saturday night and he was letting you know that the girl he’d gone out with was looking forward to their next date.

What do you need help with now?

Do you know how to cook?

---

Lesson #2: A Homemade Meal

“I can’t believe you don’t know how to cook,” you grunted as soon as Nate pulled his apartment door open on Friday night. The grin on his face was anything but apologetic and you pushed past him with two large grocery bags in hand. You brought them to the kitchen and began unpacking them onto the counter.

“I do know how to cook, by the way,” he said, stepping up beside you to help you remove everything from the bags. You eyed him skeptically. “Mostly just the basic meats and vegetables.”

“You can’t cook a date your pregame meal.”

Nate knew that. He wasn’t that stupid, but he did love saying stupid shit around you. You tended to roll your eyes at him, but your lips always gave away how you really felt about his stupidity. The right side always curled up into a smirk, like you were trying to fight the laughter bubbling in your chest. He loved it when you did that.

“Is this, like, a meal your ex used to make?” he asked after grabbing some spices from the cabinet. You were grateful that his back was turned because the easy smile on your lips disappeared at the reminder of him. You busied yourself with the pot of water on the stove and set it to boil.

“No, my ex never actually made dinner for me,” you answered in a poor attempt to keep your voice steady.

Nate stopped prepping the meat and turned to face you. Questions sat on the tip of his tongue, begging for him to ask, but you wouldn’t look at him. He felt a little bit angry at your confession, though he couldn’t quite place why. Admittedly, he had been that boyfriend before – the one that didn’t cook dinner. Now, he was mad at himself for ever being that guy.

When you didn’t turn to look at him, he dropped the subject. You worked in silence, you busy with the pasta and him with the chicken. As you waited for the food to be ready, you hiked yourself up onto the counter. Nate grabbed a bottle of red wine from the end of the counter and poured glasses for the both of you.

He stood across from you with a dish towel over his shoulder and his own glass of wine in his palm. He asked about work and you filled him in on all the hot office gossip. The smile on his face didn’t fall once as he listened to your stories, and he never tried to change the subject or take over the conversation for himself. After a while, you stopped.

“I’ve been talking forever.”

“Yeah, and I’ve been enjoying it,” he told you. You laughed. “I wish I could be a fly on the wall in your office.”

Feeling a bit bolder, you kicked your foot out and nudged his side. “Maybe I can take you to bring your pet to work day.”

Nate’s jaw dropped, a reaction you weren’t expecting, and you began laughing hysterically at his surprise. He placed his wine glass down beside him and took a step closer, wrapping a hand around your ankle to tug you closer to the edge of the counter. You yelped in surprise.

“Pet?” he asked. You wiggled your foot out of his grasp, giggles falling from your lips as he dropped his hand to his side. The oven started beeping, interrupting whatever moment you were having before it could continue. “Saved by the bell.”

“Looks good, Nate,” you praised as he pulled it out of the oven. “My mouth is watering.”

“Go sit down,” he ordered. “You have to evaluate my presentation and make sure I look good.”

Nate entered shortly after you sat down and placed the plates on either side of the table with a smile. He slipped back out and returned with the wine. There was mischievous glint in his eyes as he topped your glass off and added to his.

“How is it?” he asked, leaning back. A look of cockiness flashed over his features and you felt it in your stomach when you looked at the way his arms were crossed and his biceps filled out the sleeves of his t-shirt. You picked up your utensils and cut into the meal, picking up a bit of each piece before putting it in your mouth.

Nate leaned forward eagerly. He watched your eyes light up when the flavor hit your tongue and he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. You nodded emphatically as you swallowed your first forkful. He cut into his own meal and the moment he took a bite, he moaned. The meal was so good that conversation was sparse and, by the end, it looked like your plates had been licked clean.

You didn’t stop Nate from filling your glasses again, though you figured you should have. The third glass always lowered your inhibitions.

“How pissed off would you be if I asked you about your ex?”

“Not pissed off,” you answered. You took a sip of the wine, then leaned your cheek in your palm as you spoke. “What do you want to know?”

Nate sat up at this, suddenly realizing that he hadn’t prepared himself with a question because he didn’t think you’d give him the go ahead. He let out a tuft of breath, took a sip from his glass, and thought. Finally, he asked, “Why’d you break up?”

“How long do you have?”

“As long as you need,” he answered. His voice was soft, comforting, and you felt yourself relax into the question.

“Honestly, I didn’t want to break up with him,” you began. “And, if I didn’t have friends like Mel and Mara, I might still be with him. Things have changed now, though. I realize what a crap human being he was but, if I stayed with him, I don’t think I would’ve realized how much better I deserved.”

“Did you fight a lot?”

“Do I seem like the fighting type?” you teased. He shook his head. “He did enough fighting for the both of us. He would yell at me for no reason sometimes, just because he felt like it.”

Nate was angry. His features were contorted in distaste as you told him about your ex. Even though you tried to make light of the situation with a few light-hearted jokes, Nate couldn’t find it within in him to react with laughter. You deserved so much better than what you’d been given.

“When I broke up with him, Mara was there. We packed my things and moved it all out. I was going to leave a note, but he came home from work early and caused a scene. He went out the night after and sent me all these videos and pictures of him out with his friends. They were flipping me off, girls were draped all over him, etcetera. I blocked him the next morning and I haven’t seen him since. That was over a year ago.”

“Fuck,” he muttered, dropping his head in his hands. He felt ashamed. “That’s why you yelled at me.”

“Yep,” you answered. “Emotions got the best of me.”

“I don’t blame you.”

Silence filled the room and you felt vulnerable. You didn’t share the story about your tumultuous relationship often, but with Nate it just slipped out. You grabbed your glass from the table and finished it off.

“I’m not staying for another,” you announced. Nate sat back, his face flashing with an offended expression. As you gathered the plates from the table, you tried to ignore the knots in your stomach that were becoming more and more prevalent when he was around. “Nothing good ever happens after the third glass. But, if I was your real date, I would definitely stay for a fourth and you would probably get to kiss me at the end of the night simply for how good that meal was.”

The words fell from your lips so easily that it shocked you and you hoped that the playful tone of your voice wouldn’t scare him off. You gathered yourself before turning back to look at him. He was still sitting at the table, chair pushed back with one arm over the back of it. The way he was looking at you was lethal, eyes drinking you in as you stood in his kitchen. You couldn’t tell if you were imagining the tension or it was real.

“Thank you for dinner,” you said finally. You grabbed your bag from the counter and pulled it over your shoulder as you headed for the door. Nate stood then to walk you out, pulling the door open as you slipped into your sneakers. “It was delicious.”

“Thank you for teaching me how to cook something actually good,” he said. “Poor girl would’ve been eating chicken and vegetables or pasta if you hadn’t come by.”

“Can’t let that happen, can we?” you asked. “Let me know how dinner goes.”

Nate leaned down, wrapping an arm around your waist to tug you into a warm embrace. You melted into his arms as yours came up and around his neck. For a moment, the two of you just stood there in each other’s arms. You wondered if he could feel the beat of your chest again him. It sped up as his hands flattened against your back, crossing over each other to engulf you completely.

“I’m not that kind of guy,” he said. He leaned his cheek on the top of your head and his chest rumbled beneath your own cheek as he spoke. “You know that, right?”

Your blinked away tears before he couldn’t notice then and nodded in response to his question.

When he pulled back, he leaned in to press a kiss to your cheek and his lips caught the corner of your mouth. An electric shock coursed through your bloodstream and you pulled back quick before offering one last smile and tossing a goodbye over your shoulder.

---

Nate called you the next Friday night with plans for Saturday.

“Mel and Gabe invited a bunch of the guys over and she told me I should see what you were doing tomorrow.” he said. “I feel like I haven’t talked to you much since last week. The guys would love to meet you.”

“Meet me?” you asked. “So, it’ll be more than just the ones I know?”

“A few more,” he answered with a laugh. “They’ll love you, okay? I’ll be at your place to get you at 5:30.”

It was the first time you were going to see him since you made dinner together last Friday. You exchanged a few texts throughout the week, but nothing of substance. You knew his dinner date went well, though you didn’t know to what extent. You found yourself wondering if she stayed for that additional glass of wine after dinner, or if she stayed for the night after.

He showed up to your apartment wearing a white dress shirt, sleeves rolled to his elbows. You welcomed him in while you went back to your room to get your heels on. He gaped at the dress you were wearing as soon as you had your back to him. His eyes wandered over your curves as you bent to grab your heels from the floor in your bedroom. When your dress slid up your thighs, he had to force himself to look away.

You tried to get more details about his dinner date out of him on the way to Mel’s, but he kept quiet. She liked dinner, she stayed for an extra glass of wine, and then she went home at the end of the night. An invisible weight lifted from your shoulders upon hearing she didn’t stay the night and you settled back into his passenger seat.

Nate noticed the way you relaxed into the seat and tore his eyes from the road for just a moment to sneak a peek at you. You were watching the world go by from the window, unaware that he was even looking at you. When he turned his attention back to the road, all he could think about was his sweaty palms and accelerated heartrate. Why did he care so much about what you thought?

Everyone was already at the house when you pulled up. The two of you walked up the driveway, his hand against your lower back much like it had been in the florist. Mel opened the door, lunging to sweep you into her arms and whisk you to the kitchen, her husband and your, well, Nate left behind.

“Thanks for having me, Mel.”

She handed you a drink complete with a salted rim and said, “I’m glad Nate asked if you could come.”

“Nate asked?” you repeated. She affirmed with a nod and ushered you to join the others in the living room while she and Gabe finished dinner.

You swore half the team was there, which meant not one seat was open on their couch. As you passed Nate, he grabbed your hand and sat you on the arm of his chair. He pulled your legs over his lap and began introducing you to the boys you didn’t already know.

You caught Cale’s eyes and felt heat rise to your cheeks. Out of everyone in the room, he was the only one making note of the lack of space between you two. Though you weren’t technically sitting in his lap, it still felt a little inappropriate. Nate’s hand was like fire where it rested against your thigh and you had to remind yourself to stop peeking at the placement.

Nate lied about your invitation to dinner, and for what? He could’ve just invited you himself instead of disguising it as a joint decision between him and Mel. What was he so afraid of that he couldn’t man up and admit he wanted you there? Better yet, why didn’t he ask Gianna?

You somehow ended up seated away from Nate at the dinner table. Cale settled in on one side of you and EJ occupied the other. Across from you sat JT and Tyson, bickering as always. You don’t know how you ended up separated from Nate, but you welcomed it because you needed the breathing room.

The meal was delicious, but Nate couldn’t even enjoy it because you were so far away. He was going to get fucking whiplash because of the way he kept looking back to see who you were talking to or hear what you were laughing at. How did he even end up this far down from you?

On the other hand, he couldn’t stop the smile that kept creeping up to his lips when he saw you with his teammates. They loved you, probably almost as much as he did, and he was proud to have you by his side that night. But then came the harsh reality that you weren’t actually his to show off.

When the party relocated, he made sure to slide up next to you on the way to the couch. EJ’s laughter mocked him, but you didn’t catch on to his teammate’s playful ribbing. With Gabe and Mel’s eyes in the room, he didn’t pull you over his lap and opted to lower his arm over the back of the couch instead. There were just inches between your skin and his but, after having you on his lap earlier, it felt like miles.

Drinking games were played, stories were shared, and you all left the house with full bellies and large smiles. Nate was driving, so he eased up on the drinks after dinner. You, on the other hand, were feeling just as free as you did after three glasses of wine at his place last week, and feeling daring enough to ask him the question that’s been on your mind all night.

“Why did you tell me that Mel asked you to invite me?”

“What are you talking about?”

“When you invited me, you said that Mel told you to,” you explained in a slow voice as if you were breaking the situation down to a child. “But she said that you asked if you could invite me.”

“Why does it matter where the invite actually came from?” he asked. A slight panic was rising in his chest because he didn’t have an answer for you. This wasn’t supposed to come back around to you. “Everybody wanted you here anyway.”

“Why didn’t you ask Gianna?” you asked, stepping down to join him on the path to the driveway. He rolled his eyes at this, and you noted it because though you’d done it to him many times, he’d never done it to you. He began walking, so you followed. “Are you going to answer my question?”

“Because I didn’t want to introduce her to everyone yet,” he answered. “You just fit in with us.”

Nate saw your face fall and decided not to push the conversation any farther. He said something wrong, but he didn’t know what. As far as he thought, he was complimenting you. He was complimenting how easy going you were, how his friends got along with you so easily. You were already a part of the group. It was great.

You continued along to the car in silence, not bothering to argue with him over a dumb comment. He wanted friends, so you were giving him friends, but the touches and the invite to team dinner was something more than friends. You needed distance. And he needed to figure his shit out, fast.

---

Lesson #3: Meeting the Friends

Something changed. When Nate dropped you off that night, he left you with a half-assed hug and a quiet goodbye. You couldn’t catch a wink of sleep that night because something changed. But then, Nate texted you tomorrow and tried to carry on as normal. Things weren’t normal.

And you knew that for sure when Nate didn’t invite you to EJ’s house the next weekend. Mel invited you instead and since you could never say no to Mel, you went. The thought of texting Nate to let him know passed briefly through your head, but the sheer fact that he hadn’t even bothered to talk to you about it in the first place was enough to decide against it.

When you entered EJ’s living room, you knew exactly why he hadn’t asked. Gianna was sitting on his lap, fingers curling through his hair as they talked. Anger rose in you no matter how hard you tried to suppress it. Just last week he said he didn’t want to bring her around and now she was here? Now she was here and he couldn’t even talk to you?

There was an uproar as Nate’s teammates noticed you standing in the doorway and Nate’s eyes cut to you in surprise. You lifted your hand in a pathetic wave before Cale was wrapping his arm around your shoulders and leading you to the kitchen.

“Who’s the girl with Nate?”

“His new girlfriend,” you answered, hoping that you didn’t sound bitter. “I don’t even know if that’s the right title for her, but they’ve been on a few dates.”

Cale let out a soft hum, his tone indecipherable, just as Tyson entered the room.

“What’s the deal with Nate’s new girl?” he asked as soon as he saw it was just you and Cale in the room. When you didn’t answer, he nudged you for an answer.

“What do you mean?” you asked.

“Well, she’s no you.”

---

Nate couldn’t help but ask himself, “What the fuck are you doing?”

As you were pulled into his teammates arms, he watched and couldn’t decide whether he wanted to get up and hug you too or if he just wanted to disappear. When Gianna’s fingers gripped his bicep, he decided he wanted the latter.

That’s when you looked at him, of course, and the smile that was on yours lips faded just a bit. At least, that’s what he thought. You lifted your hand in a wave before Cale was looping his arm around your shoulders and directing you towards the kitchen.

“Who was that?” Gianna asked, fingers curling into the hair at the nape of his neck.

He looked up at her with a simple answer. “One of our friends.”

Gianna kissed him and for the first time since he met you, Nate thought about what it would be like to kiss you instead. He brought her to EJ’s in a pathetic attempt to right the way he was feeling about you, but it only made it worse.

---

“Nate was weird last night,” Mel murmured after Cycle the next morning. You were waiting for her to say something. Since all the guys made comments the night before, you knew Mel was next. “Did you guys fight?”

“Fight? Me and Nate?” you repeated, stalling for time. “We didn’t fight.”

“What did you think of his girlfriend?”

“I actually didn’t get to talk to her,” you answered. You shrugged, giving the illusion that you didn’t care all that much even though you were fuming. After all the help you’d given him, he couldn’t be bothered to introduce you to her? And that wasn’t all. He hardly spoke to you all night, only entertaining conversations with you when someone else was around. You ended up spending most of the night with EJ.

“My sitter just bailed for tomorrow.” She’d been tapping away at her phone for a few minutes, no doubt panicking to Gabe. You watched her a moment longer as you wondered what her plans were for the next day. Then, it occurred to you.

“There’s a game tomorrow, right?” you asked. She nodded, still typing out messages to whoever was on the other end of the phone. “I can watch Linnea tomorrow. Don’t worry about finding a sitter.”

“I couldn’t ask you to do that.” She waved you off absentmindedly and continued talking, “Besides, I thought Nate had a ticket for you or something. Didn’t he ask you to go?”

“Tomorrow?” you said incredulously. “No, absolutely not. Isn’t it like a WAG game? It would make no sense for me to be there.”

“Oh,” she murmured. “I just thought that he told Gabe,” she paused and noticed your set jaw. You were clearly not Nate’s biggest fan at the moment, so she decided to tread carefully. “You know what? Nevermind. I would love it if you could watch Linnea.”

---

As expected, Linnea was an angel the next day. You spent the time lounging in their living room with the game on TV while you played together. She took a bottle in the middle of the game and you brought her to her nursery once she’d been burped to rock her to sleep. But, you couldn’t quite peel yourself from the chair to put her in her crib. She was sleeping so peacefully and for the first time in a while you felt calm, so you stayed with her in your arms long after she’d fallen asleep.

You didn’t know what time it was when Gabe and Mel got home, but you heard their car doors close. You waited for them to happen upon you in the nursery, so you were surprised when it was Nate that knocked at the door.

“Hi,” he whispered, stepping into the room. He studied the decorations as he approached the rocking chair you were sitting in. When he stepped up beside you and admired Linnea, you tried not to look up at him. You knew it wouldn’t help the butterflies in your stomach, but you did it anyway. He was smiling down at the peanut in your arms. “Mel and Gabe are in the kitchen. They saw you on the baby monitor and told me to come get you.”

“Okay, I’ll put her down and meet you in there.”

“I can wait for you,” he said, stepping away. You stood, cradling Linnea to the crib and then craning to put her down in the center. Nate was watching you intently from the doorway with an unreadable expression on his face.

He stepped out into the hallway first, but he wasn’t walking towards the kitchen. He stood, waiting for you to stepped out into the hallway and look at him. You gave him a half-assed smile, still feeling a little hurt that things had been so weird between you two, and he asked, “Are we okay?”

“We’re fine,” you answered. He wasn’t convinced, but you reached up and shoved him lightly to get him to move down the hall. He didn’t budge, hand coming up to grasp yours against his chest. The beating of his heart sat right at your fingertips. “How was your game?”

“It was good,” he answered. “I wish you were there.”

“Well, then, you should’ve asked me to come,” you said, quite boldly. His lips parted, but whether it was to speak or not you wouldn’t know because you were continuing down the hallway without him.

You slipped into the kitchen to find Mel, leaving the men on the couch in the living room. The moment you stepped in, she was turning to greet you with a smile. You hissed, “Are you behind this?”

“I mentioned you were babysitting, his eyes lit up, and Gabe was the one to invite him over.”

“Team effort?”

She feigned an apologetic smile before ushering you out to rejoin the boys. Gabe got the fire going and Mel curled in his chest once he settled back on the couch. You sat on the other end, legs extended towards Nate in the corner. You felt his eyes whenever there was a suspended silence. You knew he was thinking about you, and selfishly you relished in the attention.

“YN, did you know that Nate’s parents were visiting next weekend?” Gabe asked during a lull in conversation. Nate glared at him, but the Swede happily ignored his buddy at the center of the couch. His eyes cut to you.

“I didn’t,” you answered. “But that’ll be fun. I know how much you missed them.”

All he could offer was a stupid ‘yeah’ before Mel swooped in to save the entire group from a very awkward moment.

Nate was going to kill Gabe. He was going to kill Gabe, but first he had to make a decision. He knew exactly what he had to do. It felt like you were a thousand miles away, not only physically but emotionally. Gabe should’ve kept his mouth shut. He was going to have you meet his parents, he just hadn’t gotten the chance to ask. Now, he looked like a dick. You couldn’t even look him in the eye.

“I was going to tell you about my parents,” he said, practically chasing you down the driveway after you ducked out while he was in the bathroom. To his surprise, you stopped walking and waited for him to catch up. “Seriously.”

“It’s getting hard to believe that, Nate,” you said. “I don’t know what’s going on in your head.”

Nate felt his heart sink. He began to rack his brain for a way to salvage the conversation, but it was too late by the time you reached your car. You stopped before opening the door to look up at him.

“You’re thinking too much.”

“I just—I know you’re upset with me,” he began. “I want to make it better. We haven’t really talked since EJ’s, and that’s on me.”

“Were you going to invite me today?” you asked. He gave you a curious look. “To the game. Mel mentioned something about it at Cycle. That you told Gabe you were thinking about giving your ticket to me.”

Nate ran his hand over his face. The Landeskogs had really gotten him into some trouble here, and he wasn’t sure it was accidental.

“You’re the one I wanted at the game,” he admitted. “I wanted to invite you, but I knew how bad it would look if I didn’t ask Gianna.”

“So, you invited her,” you concluded.

“No.”

You looked at him in shock, mouth agape, and asked, “You’d rather no one go than give the ticket to her?”

“Well, when you put it that way,” he grumbled. You threw your arms up in surrender, hoping the words would sink in. “I don’t know, YN.”

“Yes, you do,” you argued. He kept his mouth shut at that, knowing you had enough. You sighed heavily, allowing the conversation to roll off your back. “When are your parents going to be here?”

“Saturday morning.”

“What are you planning to do?”

“They’ll be at my game in the afternoon and then I was getting us a reservation for dinner,” he trailed off only momentarily. “I haven’t made it yet because I was going to invite you, but Gabe beat me to the punch in there.”

“What about Gianna?”

“YN, if I didn’t want her at my game, why would I want her to meet my parents?” he asked. He made it sound like you were asking the stupidest question in the world. But, he wasn’t answering the most important one. Was he breaking up with her? You wanted to ask, but part of you didn’t want the disappointment. He worried while you thought.

“I’m around on Saturday,” you answered. He smiled, and you forced one back. You hated the feeling between you two. The air between you had never been so stuffy and you wanted to clear it. “Anything else you wanna tell me before the Landeskogs do? Is Sid actually your long-distance girlfriend?”

Nate laughed loudly as he stepped away. He answered your question cryptically, “No, nothing to tell you right now. Not yet.”

---

Lesson #4: Meeting the Family

You planned to meet Nate at his apartment before dinner since his parents had gone to the hotel upon arrival. On the way, you picked up a box of pastries from your favorite bakery. You were taught to do little things for important people, and anyone who was important to Nate felt important to you. You tried not to think about the implications of having dinner with his parents, but it was hard to shake the nerves.

“What’s this?” he asked as soon as he opened the door. His finger slid over the logo on the top of the pastry box, eyes catching on the word bakery. When he looked up at you, his eyes were shining. “For me?”

“For your family,” you told him. “Don’t get any ideas.”

“I thought maybe you heard about my break up and you were trying to comfort me,” he said like it wasn’t breaking news. “I’ll put these in the kitchen.”

“You broke up?” you asked, following him to the kitchen. You stopped in the doorway as he put the pastries on the counter. He nodded simply as he cleared some clutter from the countertop. You could see his muscles moving beneath his navy polo. Guiltily, you couldn’t stop yourself from admiring the way the sleeves hugged his biceps or the wide expanse of his back and shoulders. “What happened, Nate?”

“We can talk about it later, alright?”

“Are you single or not?” you asked. Nate caught the frustration in your tone and he’d be lying if it didn’t make him want to kiss you right then. You needed to know what was going on with him, and that made him feel good about whatever was going on between you two.

Nate started to exit the kitchen, but stopped in the doorway beside you. You were crowded against his chest as he smiled down at you and answered, “Yeah, I’m single.”

You released a breath once he stepped out of the doorway. He slipped his shoes on while you stood nearly the front door. He caught the look on your face, a little scrunched up as you spaced out. You were thinking too much, worrying about what happened with him and Gianna. When he walked back over to the front door, he took you by the hips and said, “We can talk about it later, if you want. Right now, I just want to be with you and my family.”

---

“I’m nervous,” you admitted as Nate pulled up to valet outside the restaurant. He looked at you in shock. “Don’t make fun of me.”

“I’m not gonna make fun of you,” he promised. He reached over and dropped his hand to your thigh. You pouted at him, and his first instinct was to lean over the center console and kiss it off your lips. He knew better than to risk it all just before dinner, so he grabbed your hand and dropped a kiss to your palm instead. “You’ll be fine. No need to be nervous.”

A heavy sigh left your lips as he stepped out of the car. He rounded the front and opened the passenger door for you, grabbing your hand as you stepped out. After he handed his key to the valet, he laced his hands in yours and led you into the restaurant.

The MacKinnons were already at the table that had been reserved for them. There was uproar of cheers when they saw Nate walk in. You stole a peek at his face and the pure joy on it set your heart aflame. He dropped your hand as you approached the table to hug his parents and sister. They introduced themselves to you as well, sweeping you up in tight embraces like they had with Nate.

“It’s great to finally meet you,” they spoke as they hugged you.

Nate pulled your chair out from across his mother and then situated himself beside you. The menus were passed out and Nate whispered suggestions in your ear while his family members debated their own meals. She took the time to calm her nervous. Parents loved her, so there was no reason to freak out. Eventually the drinks were handed out, orders were taken, and the chaos at the table stopped.

“Now, how’d you two meet again?” his mom asked. You looked at each other, stupidly, both stammering in response until Nate got his shit together.

“We met through friends,” he answered simply. Then, his lips curled up and he said, “She yelled at me.” You dropped your face into your hands, embarrassed by the picture he was painting of you, but they took it in stride, laughing at your expression. “It wasn’t that bad.”

He continued, “As you guys know, I’ve been very unlucky in my personal life.” Sarah snorted at this. Their mother smacked her knee as a scolding. “I literally suck at being romantic and all the guys were joking around about it after I’d just been broken up with. YN called me out, so I asked her to teach me how to be romantic.”

“Well, what’d you learn?”

“How to cook a meal other than my pregame types, and I also have a new favorite florist,” he said. He reached into his back pocket for his wallet and flipped it open to slip out their business card. You didn’t realize he grabbed one. “There are some other things, like her wine rule.”

“Wine rule?”

“Nothing good ever happens after the third glass of wine,” you explained. They laughed at that, though they seemed bewildered by your reasoning.

Nate elaborated, “It just means that if your date stays for a fourth glass, you’ll probably get lucky.”

This earned him a smack on the arm from both his sister and yourself.

Nate’s family was just as kind as he was and it was clear how much they all adored each other. You fit in seamlessly, at least that’s how it felt, and when they asked the waitress to take a picture of them, Nate tugged you into his side to keep you in the frame.

“Take one without me,” you urged him. He just shook his head, gazing down at the picture on his phone. He passed it off to his parents and sister for approval. “Nate.”

“I want you in the picture,” he whispered to you. His hand came up to the back of your neck and he pulled you in to place a chaste kiss to your temple. He pulled away, like kissing you in public and on the forehead was normal now, and asked, “How was your food?”

When you got back to his place after dinner, you presented his mother with the pastries and earned a hug and kiss on the cheek as a thank you. They settled into the kitchen as he made drinks, chatting as a family about the people back home and his life in Denver. You slipped out to go to the bathroom, and give them some alone time.

“I like her,” you overheard his mother say as soon as you slipped out of the kitchen. You slowed your steps on your pursuit to the bathroom even though you knew it would be best to keep walking. You couldn’t help but be a little nosy.

“That’s good to hear,” Nate said. You smiled to yourself. “I like her, too.”

---

Nate’s family only stayed for another hour before you were bidding them farewell from his front door. They squeezed you and thanked you for the pastries, and then began inviting you to visit before Nate had to shut it down. Your heart felt full after spending the night with them, but sitting alone in Nate’s apartment in anticipation of what was to come was scaring the shit out of you.

Your hands were a little shaky and your palms were definitely sweaty. There was change coming, change that was already present, and you were both excited and terrified for it. Nate reentered the apartment not long after. When he saw you sitting on the couch, he released a breath he’d been holding.

“Are you going to stay for another glass?” he asked after locking the door behind him. “That one’s only your second.”

You eyed his smile, heart beat stuttering a bit beneath his gaze, and lifted the glass to your lips to finished what was left. You nodded and followed him into the kitchen. While he filled both your glass and his, you picked yourself up onto the counter like you’d done so many times before.

“I did a bad thing,” he murmured after handing your glass back to you. You raised a brow at him as he reached over to one of the cabinets and opened it to reveal two pastries in a Ziploc bag. “I stole two of them from my mom.”

“Nate!” you exclaimed. He chuckled at your exasperation. “I can bring you to that bakery whenever you want! Your parents don’t live here! It was a gift!”

“And they have the other eleven pastries,” he argued. “They’re not going to miss two.”

Reluctantly, but still with a smile, you took a pastry from his hand. You bit into it at the same time, eyes lighting up at the taste. At the sight of each other’s faces, you were doubled over in laughter before you had the chance to swallow what was in your mouth. You looked away from him to regain composure and only looked back when you were sure you wouldn’t choke.

“Those were fucking good.”

“Only the best for your mom.”

“Thank you,” he spoke. “For the pastries and for hanging out with my family today. I’m sure you had other things to do, but it meant a lot. They’ve been hearing a lot about you.”

“I had a lot of fun with them,” you said. His smile was soft, shy even, and he watched you carefully as you sipped from the glass in your hand. “It was nice to meet the people who made you who you are.”

“Wait until you meet Sid.”

You decided to move from the kitchen to the living room in favor of more comfortable seating. He reached his hand out behind his back, and you linked your fingers with his lazily so he could lead you to the couch. You slowed to a stop as he sat down, legs spread to pull you between them. Your hesitation caused a look of confusion to flash over his features.

“Can you tell me what’s going on inside your head now?” you asked, placing your glass down on the table beside the arm of the couch. He followed suit, then placed his hand delicately at your hip to urge you closer.

“Sure, I can,” he answered. He pulled you into his lap. You looped her arms around his shoulders as he flattened one hand against your back and curled the other around your thigh. “I don’t want to waste those romance rules on someone I don’t really like all that much.”

“You really didn’t like her?” you asked meekly. Of fucking course he didn’t like her, you were thinking. You were in his lap, not her, but you still couldn’t wrap your head around it. “Why?”

“The only reason I looked forward to going on dates with her was because I got to spend time with you before,” he confessed. You felt it all through your body. “I broke up with her the morning after we were at Gabe’s together. After you called me out on my bullshit, I knew I was being stupid.”

“Why me, though?”

“Because you deserve the world and I want to be the one to give it to you.”

It was only natural for you to lean in and capture his lips with yours. After all this time spent waiting and beating around the bush, you didn’t want to wait a second more. It was passionate, and new, and exciting. His hands held you close while your fingers curled into the back of his hair, but he wasn’t close enough.  

You swung your leg over to straddle him, not caring that you were wearing a dress with just panties underneath. His hands flew to your hips as you grinded against him. You gasped against his lips at the friction as he held you tighter, teeth nipping at your bottom lip until you covered his mouth with yours again. He guided your hips to grind against him once more, but you braced your hands against his chest to push away.

“I’m not staying for a fourth glass,” you said breathlessly. He smiled up at you, eyes falling to your lips that were red and plump from kissing him. Kissing him! He leaned in, tongue swiping along his bottom lip, and pulled you down by the back of the neck.

He murmured through his kisses, “You didn’t even finish your third.”

At the challenge in his voice, you reached over for the glass on the side table and finished what was left. He held you close, laughing against the crook of your neck. You giggled along with him until you felt his lips against your skin again and a gasp fell from your lips.

“You gotta leave before I pour number four,” he warned, breath ghosting over your neck. He kissed your neck again, this time sucking lightly enough to earn a strangled moan. You pushed back against his chest and stood, flustered as you adjusted your dress and your hair. Nate couldn’t help but smile as he watched you cross the room for your purse. He grabbed a pillow and held it over his lap to hide his hard-on.

“What are you doing tomorrow?” he asked as you put your heels on the end of the couch. He was admiring your flushed cheeks and your wild hair as you busied yourself. You fastened the strap on each heel before looking back at him. It took everything in you to not go back over there and unbutton the rest of his shirt.

“Nothing,” you answered as you stood. He followed suit, adjusting his dress pants just a bit so he was comfortable and making you giggle in the process. He stepped up beside you and pulled you against him again. He placed one, two, three kisses against your neck then your jaw then your lips.

“Let me make you dinner.”

---

Nate wasn’t going to be able to keep his hands to himself. He knew that the second you walked out of your room in that little black dress, but he was really trying to be on his best behavior. It was technically only your first date and he wanted to impress you. You just weren’t helping very much. As soon as you were in his car, you were grabbing his hand and lacing it with yours to drop them into your lap.

He was a little nervous that he wasn’t going to be able to pull this off. He was sure that he’d fuck up somewhere and you’d go running. And, truthfully, you could tell that he was overthinking every little thing he did. The tension in his shoulders as he moved about the kitchen to prepare everything for dinner was clear.

“What’s wrong with you?” you asked.

He gave you the most pathetic shrug and shake of the head as he tried to wave off your concern with a soft, “Nothing.”

“That’s a lie,” you called him out. “You look stressed.”

“I mean, I am a little stressed,” he admitted, diverting his eyes from yours as he headed over to the fridge. “I don’t want to fuck this up.”

Before he knew it, you were standing between him and the refrigerator. You flattened your hands against his chest and slid them up until your hands were linked behind his neck. A slight tug on him was enough to get him to kiss you. He finally relaxed, arms dropping from the refrigerator door to grip your hips.

“You’re not going to fuck this up.”

“I don’t have a very good track record.”

“You do with me,” you said softly. He looked skeptical, not quite understanding what you meant, so you pressed against him as his arms enveloped you. “You gave me a sunflower the third time we were ever around each other. You’ve cooked me dinner already. Sure, it was under different circumstances, but it counts. Nate, you know exactly what you’re doing. Don’t overthink it.”

“Go sit,” he said, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. You managed to calm his nerves better than anyone he’d ever known in a matter of seconds. “I’ll plate dinner and then I have to grab something for you, okay?”

Nate entered the dining room a minute later, placing both plates down across from each other before disappearing to grab wine glasses and another bottle of wine. Then, he was off down the hall to his bedroom. Your eyes followed him curiously, wondering what else he could possibly have up his sleeve. He’d already impressed you enough by cooking a meal you didn’t teach him.

“Oh, wow,” you breathed out when he appeared in the hallway with a bouquet of flowers. “Nate.”

“For you.”

You stood to take them from his hands and kiss him in thanks. When you pulled away, your fingers danced along the petals of the roses tucked between the sunflowers and baby’s breath Nate had grown to love too.

---

You filled your glass for a fourth time as inconspicuously as possible after your last bite of dinner, but Nate caught your eye over the bottle as you poured and you knew he knew what you were doing. He tried to stifle his smile unsuccessfully, picking up his own glass to cover it. One sip and his third glass was done.

“More?” you asked, extending the bottle in his direction.

“Four glasses?” he teased. “What do you take me for?”

“Okay, more for me then.”

Your voice was low, eyes dark as they settled on him, and suddenly he was lunging forward to grab the bottle and pour another glass for himself. Your giggles filled the room. He wanted them to echo off his walls forever.

“I want to take a picture with you,” he said. You gave him a curious look, though your stomach was doing cartwheels at the suggestion. “I keep thinking about your empty picture frame and I want you to have something to put in it.”

“We can take a selfie,” you suggested. He was quick to shake his head, pushing away from the table to take your hand and lead you to the patio. He pulled the phone from his back pocket and set it up against the couch. He removed the glass from your hand to place it out of view of the camera.

“Now, this is quite the set up,” you murmured as he moved furniture out of the way so there was ample space to take the photo. Denver’s city lights were sure to be the perfect backdrop and having Nate beside you wasn’t too bad either.

“Well, it has to be perfect if it’s going in your office.”

“How do you know I’ll even want to put it in the frame?” you asked. Nate pressed the timer and turned to walk back at you, smirk on his lips. You were teasing him, but you were playing innocent with those doe eyes. He curled around you, arms pulling your back against his chest to pose for the picture.

“After tonight, I’m sure you will,” he murmured in your ear. “Smile.”

The audacity of a man who tells you to smile after igniting your entire body in goosebumps.

The camera went off in a sequence, five pictures for the one timer. You smiled twice before he reached up to turn your face to his for a kiss. The sound of the shutter had you pulling away from his lips with a giggle. He smiled down at you for the next photo as laughter spilled from your lips, and then he was kissing you again.

When you finally pulled away from him, all giggly and handsy, Nate dragged you along with him to his phone. He curled around you as he flipped through the photos, each one cuter than the one before.

“Are you saying you wouldn’t put that in your office?” he asked. His breath tickled the back of your neck. You were just trying to tease him before, but with the lack of space between you and the way he was looking at you in these photos, you just couldn’t tease him anymore. His fingers trailed up your arms, goosebumps rising in their wake once again.

“How’s that fourth glass of wine treating you?” you asked. Nate tucked the phone in his back pocket as you turned to face him. His hands were on you once they were free, curling over the curve of your ass.

“I shouldn’t have let you talk me into it,” he murmured against your lips. “I’m trying to be good, but it’s impossible to keep my hands to myself.”

“What if I don’t want you to keep your hands to yourself?” you against, arching your body to press against him. You could feel him hard against your hip and knew you had him exactly where you wanted him. You pressed your lips to his and, as you pulled away, you took his bottom lip between your teeth and sucked on it.

A growl ripped through his chest as he lifted you into his arms. Your legs came to wrap around his waist as he carried you into the apartment and slammed the patio door shut behind him. He dropped you onto the bed, one hand coming to tug you towards the end by the ankle. His hands spread your legs so he could step between them and they slid up your thigh, pushing your dress up as they went.

“You don’t know how badly I’ve wanted to do this,” he murmured in your ear as his hands reached your hip, dress bunching around his wrists and revealing your lace panties to him. “Stealing touches in a crowded room just doesn’t compare.”

You lifted your arms as he guided the dress over your body and tossed it to the floor. At the sight of your match set, Nate pushed you up the bed and crawled over you. He peppered kisses along your skin from your collarbone to your chest. He worked his way down your stomach until reaching the top of your underwear. In on swift movement, your thong was on the floor and he was spreading your legs.

“So pretty,” he murmured, fingers spreading your folds. You moaned out as he slipped his finger in. “You like my fingers in your pussy, baby?” You could only manage to nod because he’d already slipped a second finger in. He curled them while he pressed a kiss against your inner thigh. “How about my tongue?”

Nate licked a stripe up your center and you gasped, hands flying down to curl into his hair as he continued to eat you out. He sucked on your pussy, continuing to thrust his fingers into and curl. He dragged moans out of you, obscene words dripped from your lips, and the filthy sound of his tongue filled the room.

“You taste so good.”

You tried to grind against face for some more friction, but he held your hips down and continued. You whined, tugging his hair and arching your back as he brought you to orgasm.

“Nate, I’m gonna cu—” you moaned, toes curling at the feet of his lips around you. Suddenly, cool air shocked your core and your orgasm retreated. You sighed as your whole body sank into the bed at the absence of stimulation. Nate crawled up your buddy, licking a stripe up your neck before attaching his lips to yours.

“Sorry, baby,” he said. He nudged your knees apart and situated himself between them, hand falling to his dick as he lined it up with your entrance. “I just need you to cum on my cock.” You moaned as he pushed his head between your folds. “YN, as long as you’re mine, I’ll never make you feel like you don’t deserve all the most romantic things.”

You answered with a moan as he bottomed out inside you. He watched your face as you adjusted to his size and smiled as you whimpered, pulling your teeth between your lips. You felt so good around him and as he began to pull out and thrust in again, your nails dug into his biceps.

You knew he was trying to take his time, but you could hardly take it. As far as you were concerned, Nate would have all the time in the world to take it slow with you. Tonight was not that night.

“Fuck me harder.”

When you sounded like that beneath him, how could he say no? His previously slow and calculated thrusts became sloppy at your request. He relished in the sound of your moaning and the way you called his name like a prayer. You were unraveling beneath him and he wanted to get you there. He adjusted your leg over his shoulder so he could hit a new angle.

“Come on, baby,” he moaned against your lips. “I wanna see you cum for me.”

He reached down and placed his thumb against your clit, rubbing in circles as he pumped into you. You screamed out and your body arched as your orgasm ripped through you. Nate pumped into you a few moments more as he chased his high while listening to your whimpers. He spilled out into his condom as a string of curses left his lips, then collapsed onto of you to catch his breath.

Your fingers immediately found his hair as your breathing evened out together. His body was hot on yours and a sheen of sweat covered both of you. Nate’s fingers curled around your waist and into your skin, squeezing you like he needed to get closer but couldn’t. Finally, he pulled out of you and sat back on his knees.

“You’re so beautiful,” he sighed, hands rubbing up your stomach to cup your breasts. You shivered at his touch. “I never want to leave this bed.”

“Not even for shower sex?”

“Okay, maybe for shower sex,” he murmured. He picked you up, tossing you over his shoulder to carry you to the bathroom.

---

A few hours (and orgasms later), you were clothed in Nate’s sweats and t-shirt and waiting for him beneath the covers in bed. He was cleaning up the glasses you left on the patio and running the dishwasher, though he was quick to finish it up and return to you. You looked so cute propped up against the headboard that he couldn’t stop smiling as he got ready for bed. He pulled on a pair of sweats, but remained topless as he slid under the covers. Instead of pulling you down to rest on his chest, he dropped his head onto your stomach and pulled you tightly to him. Your fingers carded through his hair.

“Thank you for tonight, Nate,” you spoke. “This was the best first date I’ve ever been on.”

“I’m counting this as our fourth date,” he responded. You laughed at him, slapping his bicep lightly at his teasing. “Let’s be honest, I was trying to impress you this entire time anyway.”

“Consider me impressed.”

Nate pulled you down to eye level with him, heads on your respective pillows, and then turned to shut the lamp off beside him. When he turned back, he pulled you against his chest. With your ear to his chest, you listened to his heartbeat and his breathing as it evened out. His fingers scratched your back ever-so-slightly as if soothing you to sleep.

“Are you happy?” he asked. You looked up at him with a curious gaze. Could he not tell how happy you were?

“Of course, I am,” you answered. “Are you?”

“How could I not be?” he asked. “You’re so far out of my league.”

“No, I’m not,” you groaned. You covered your blushing face with your hands at his words, hoping that he couldn’t feel the beat of your heart. Nate was quick to tug them down, holding them against his own chest. He didn’t care if you felt how hard his heart was beating. In fact, he wanted you to know. He wanted you to know the effect you had on him.

“You feel my heart, right?” he asked. You nodded. “You did that. You do that to me every single time I’m around you.” Your eyes began to water and you tried to pull your hand away from his to wipe the water pooling in the corner. Nate grabbed both your hands with one of his and wiped it with his own thumb. “I’ll never let you go to bed thinking I don’t love you. I’m going to shower you with flowers from our favorite florist and buy you pastries from that little shop you like, and I’ll never make you feel like you need to stifle yourself and who you are on account of me.”

“Nate.”

“Just listen to me, alright?” he asked, voice soft. You nodded. “Your ex stuffed you down and he didn’t appreciate you. That’ll never happen with me, and if you feel like it is, you need to tell me, just like you did when we first met.”

You tried to stammer through some type of coherent response, but words failed, so you kissed him. His arms wrapped around your waist to pull you flush against him and your legs intertwined. He was intoxicating, you couldn’t get enough, but he felt just the same. He wondered how anyone had let you go before and simultaneously thanked them for the gift that was you.

That night, Nate vowed he’d never let you go to bed unhappy and he’d never let you feel any less than perfect. He waited forever for a partner like you, honest and kind, and he finally had it in his hands, in his bed. And you promised that you’d never love anyone as much as you loved him. You just knew it.

#nate mackinnon imagine #nate mackinnon fic #nate mackinnon #nhl imagine #hockey imagine #nathan mackinnon imagine #nathan mackinnon fic

[shinygoku]

very intrigued to see what you think of Henry!!! ^v^ (character ask!)

Another day, another Big Green! (The others are Piccolo and Thunderbird 2 lmao)

First impression

"Green ver of that one big creepy dude" (Look, when I was Babby I saw a Gordon picture somewhere that minorly spooked me lmao)

Impression now

Ahh, Henry! In some ways, very much like Duck! Green, long nose, popular with the fans and I'm here like Yeah he's a good fixture of the series lol

Ok well, maybe I should disclaim that he's not one of my favourites, which is partly as I guess it's a bit hard to nail down his personality.

His, for lack of a better term, Illness Arc is fascinating and oddly Real for a series about machinery. Something's genuinely amiss with him, but the lack of a clear cause (at least, to the other engines, who presumably don't know he was built from stolen, incomplete plans and the logical issues that would arise from that) and his frequent complaints turn the other characters off wanting to hear about it, thinking he's exaggerating. Then the Welsh Coal stopgap is found! Then the very next story he has a horrible crash but it was a blessing in disguise because then he's rebuilt as a Black 5 and his health issues are gone forever! (ain't we envious of machines now?) Until Lazy Writer Disease sets in Meta-wise, but more on that later.

I think it's safe to say that it's Entry Level RWS Knowledge to know Awdry's frustrations with the character, and it is kind of hilarious how much he tried to write him out, and iirc Henry wound up with the most appearances and 'his' book has 5 stories instead of the uniform 4 for some reason. But it seems it takes further Lazy Corporate Mandates to actually write him out in BwBa which really sucks and is doing such an iconic lad horribly dirty.

Pictured: Henry as seen by Awdry/Mattel, who are about to just shove him out of the story with varying degrees of success.

Well yeah, for me I can't really settle on an opinion because he never seems to have anything solid after the Rebuild. He's kind of the nicer one out of the Terrible Trio, but sometimes he's as bitchy and obnoxious as Gordon without prompting. He seems to be pretty unlucky and sometimes his misfortunes are self inflicted, but they don't commit to this bit. He gets his (in)famous forest, much to Awdry's chagrin, but it does offer a nice gentler side to him. He also seems to be the main Fast Freight engine, particularly more Fish shipments, but this doesn't really inform his character. He all too often feels like a Spare, Green Gordon who's less full of himself (but still gets boughts of Envy and inflated self importance, like Tenders for Henry), and that's a shame because this nebulous lack of anything concrete seems to be why Bad TatMR Writing diagnosed him with Need Welsh Coal again for quite a long time (dunno if that only changed when Mattel/Brenner came in or not). But then the US dub makes him sound like w--dy all-n and that's the worst treatment of all! I kind of understand the temptation to make him the resident worrier but HUUURGHGHH NOT LIKE THAT

So yeah, the better characterization of him needs to strike a good balance of him being ...I guess a Gentle Giant, who enjoys nature and maybe is a smidge prone to bouts of feeling jealous. Maybe catches the engine version of colds more than the others because the early morning runs in the freezing air? I dunno, I'm trying to combine several traits that have been in Henry but never seemed to stick. But done properly, I could really get behind a nice, faceted character like that~

Favourite moment

It feels a bit mean to say, but it's due to the strength of the episode itself with the fantastic visuals, godly music and shocking drama (with a nice bonus of Correct Head Codes!) that put Flying Kipper at the top of this list!

Another part of this ep, is the beginning where the Driver is saying "Don't tell Gordon, but if you pull this nicely, the Fat Controller may let you pull the Express!". Like, that really squeezes my heart, because his driver is rooting for him, the prospect of a better regarded job is floating there, and knowing what eventually happens, it's like... oof! But in a good way.

...Also I think that must have been something Awdry added after deciding not to kill him off because having that bit and for it to all go up in flames would have made children and me extremely upset and he would have been buried under letters of complaint from angry mothers of the time.

Idea for a story

Other than the overly simple and grimdark "he was in fact killed that day" type coma inducers, I suppose the Two Henries theory being explored could offer some interesting interactions.

Like, what if the Henry who rolls back into The Big Station is instantly accepted and in fact, liked more than og Henry? What if the other engines instead couldn't fully relax around him? Were his memories perfect? Too Perfect?

And what would happen if OG Henry were later discovered... (and in what condition?) Dun Dun Dun dododo Dun!

The thing is, it is hard to really explore this because it's innately such a dark, heavy concept. I don't enjoy the 'Authoritarian Hellscape" lameass interpretation by normies. I like my silly workcom on the rails with warm fuzzies and funny antics, thank you very much!

Unpopular opinion

Some of his faces (even before the worsening first inflicted by Magic Railroad) are pretty weird looking! Maybe cause his forehead is so huge and smooth, but maybe just the odd mouth shapes. I like the variety, but they aren’t what I’d call cute... I find myself thinking ‘Moon Face’ looking at him [even with the lack of craters lmao] and oops I think I missed the weirdest grin of all, but here’s a small sample anyway

Favourite relationship

Not a favourite, per say, but some of the more friction-ish interactions he has with Thomas or Percy are pretty funny. With Thomas’ immortal flippant disregard to viaduct safety, Percy retorting that engines with Proper Funnels do, in fact, need scarves, something Henry wouldn’t know about, and that Henry somehow manages to dismiss Bill and Ben, a feat Gordon needs to take notes from. Even the Something in the Air exchange with Thomas, which isn’t really stellar writing just has a funny lame argument vibe.

For some nice Wholesome interaction, Bear is hands down the winner! Easy pick maybe, and it makes me wonder if Bear’s complete absence in the TVS is part of the downward spiral because he’d offer a lot more Plotlines.... hmmm...!

Favourite headcanon

Other than the universal fandom acceptance that He Digs Nature, Baby is the notion I’ve seen a few times that his “fear” of the rain, or what it would do to his paint, isn’t actually why he stopped in the tunnel, and it had more to do with his mechanical failure and/or him having something of a nervous breakdown. He does come across as something of an ass if you take the episode at face value, but there having a secret deeper meaning is way more interesting 👀

#this is TTTE #TTTE Henry #TTTE #Thomas the Tank Engine #Henry the Green Engine #ttte talk #I also mentioned Gordon several times but I won't properly tag him lol

[tearblossom]

Orbital Station Scene Analysis: Part 3

Lmao here we go again. Ready to fall even deeper down the rabbit hole that is this scene with me!? This one scene functions simultaneously as my source of joy and depression and I watch it more than I would care to admit. So, naturally, I have even more to say about it! It’s going to be long. Sorry.

Part 1- https://tearblossom.tumblr.com/post/645095661644251136/scene-analysis-this-is-just-what-i-personally-feel

Part 2- https://tearblossom.tumblr.com/post/645776311115186176/i-was-thinking-some-more-about-the-final-scene

In this one, I’ll be going into more detail explaining the emotional mask that I believe Takemura is trying so desperately to keep on during this scene (and undeniably fails at several times, with it coming off entirely upon the scene reaching a certain pivotal moment) and also pointing out the instances that I feel the mask slips occur. Honestly, it’s pretty easy to tell for reasons that I will explain. I’m going to reiterate the fact that I am not a facial expression/body language expert. This is just one human being looking at another human being and trying to figure them out. This is just my personal interpretation of this scene. Prepare yourself for many, many screenshots and gifs. Also, I will be using the same video sources as the other two posts because I don’t have my own footage. 

https://youtu.be/ra-Ij1KU8r4

https://youtu.be/PUmQqVOq5oY

I failed to mention before the reason that Takemura even had to put up the cruel facade in the first place because I didn’t want to state the obvious and insult everyone’s intelligence. We all know the reason but I’ll just say it here anyway: Arasaka. 

Arasaka is listening to Takemura’s every word so he literally cannot say shit to V that would hint at any sort of affection for him/her and absolutely nothing that would indicate any growing uncertainty in said corporation. Words mean nothing here. He has to speak through his eyes and expressions because that is all he has to offer, the only cards he has to play. That is why the meaning of this scene can be so easily missed and flies over so many people’s heads. I do not fault anyone that may have missed this on a first playthrough or even those that are still unaware of it whatsoever because Takemura is very, very convincing at first (his face becomes an open book once the contract gets brought out but we’ll get into that later) and besides, to truly understand something that involves emotions as complex as these caused by equally as complex reasons or anything involving subtext really, takes multiple viewings to truly appreciate.

In summary, what I believe is happening here is that during the entire scene up until the contract gets brought out, his mental state is constantly teetering on the edge of a cliff so to speak. He is trying so hard to fight his sentimentality and control his emotional responses not only to V’s misery and pain but also his own wavering faith in Arasaka because they are watching, listening, and monitoring. And he succeeds extremely well at first but it gets harder and harder for him to maintain the mask. The closer he physically gets to V, the harder it is to pretend, to hide. His eyes alone betray him on several occasions but eventually the whole facade just crumbles and he falls. And when the contract comes into play is when he truly, honestly looks at V and the communication through his eyes really begins.

Here is the key thing- it is the most important visual clue to understanding when things happen: When Takemura is feeling any doubt or his emotions begin to overwhelm him or he fears that they might, he promptly averts his eyes to get himself under control and readjusts the mask that has slipped. 

He looks away from V during these moments!

(Just to clarify, I don’t think that every single moment in the scene that he looks away from V has this deeper meaning behind it. When people talk it’s completely natural for them to turn their heads, avert their eyes to look at other things, etc. These are just some moments that particularly stood out to me as signs pointing to my little theory.) 

Okay...let’s start deciphering this conflicted, broken mess of a man.

Scene starts. Takemura is fiddling with the Rubik’s Cube. He puts it down. Expression cold as ice.

mask on full display in all of it’s glory

They talk about Saburo being back in the body of his son and have this exchange of words:

V: “Saw Saburo Arasaka’s back. In Yorinobu’s body.”

Goro: “Yes. Justice has been done.”

And then it happens for the first time...

(Could this be...doubt perhaps? Has justice really been done?)

Moving on- he walks over to stand behind the chair across from V, telling them of their imminent death.

Goro: “I will be blunt - the surgery did not help. You will be dead before winter.”

And then he proceeds to make this face immediately after...

(Lovely, isn’t it? Just full of sympathy. His mask game is strong. But don’t worry though because V wins in the end BIG TIME.)

Understandably, V gets very upset upon hearing this news.

V: “How... how’s that possible? Arasaka’s got the best and the brightest.”

And then something happens again. Whatever could it be, I wonder!

But wait, there’s more!

(He couldn’t even wait until he finished talking before looking away! It’s getting more difficult for him to look at V with a straight face every second! Also, his expression here is the most broken looking yet.) :(

He must not reveal what is hidden behind this emotional wall that he’s worked so hard to build up specifically for this meeting because the room they are speaking in may just as well be made of glass with Arasaka’s unrelenting gaze, an ever-present entity, on the other side of it. He will do so soon though, when he offers V salvation. The contract raises the stakes. The rules change. He feels the wall breaking and there isn’t anything he can do about it and he knows it.

IT’S CHAIR TIME, CHOOMS!

He looks away another 6 TIMES! Leaning more and more over that edge. Feast your eyes...

IT’S CONTRACT TIME, BABY!

Oh, shit!

It’s happening!!

He does look away here but there’s no mask on when he looks back...only despair.

It’s gone.

TO SIGN OR NOT TO SIGN

The disguise is off now. From this point onward, Takemura looks at V with his true feelings on display. This is where the ability to read the emotion portrayed solely through one’s eyes really comes into play because even though he’s not trying to hide anything anymore, he still can’t say what he really wants to say. We have to feel it through his expressions. His thoughts are so loud during these final moments of the scene that we don’t even need words to know what he’s saying.  

REFUSE TO SIGN

SIGN

HOLY GRAIL MOMENT!

(I’m literally going to copy and paste what I have in my part 2 analysis about this section because I explained my thoughts on it about as well as I am able to there and have nothing else to add. My apologies for repeating myself but I feel the exact same way about it so it still applies here.) 

These reactions make perfect sense because we’ve always known that he cares deeply for V and never stopped. He just couldn’t hide it! But even with this treasure trove of emotional mask slips and unintentional displays of affection, I still wasn’t sure exactly how deeply he cared for V. In other words- if he was actually in love with V or not.

Is he already in love or is he still in the process of falling in love? Is it just a friendly love? (hell no! I knew that was definitely not the case but I still had to ask just so I could cross it off the list!)

And then the two of them walked to the door and said their parting words.

V: “Gonna see each other again?”

Goro: “I believe we will.”

V: “So… see you.”

Goro: “Visit me in Kagawa - I will show you what is real food.”

And then…

he proceeded to make these faces…

HOLY

SHIT!

(The mask isn’t just gone now- it’s burned, splintered, shattered, exploded in a million pieces, disintegrated!)

This man just had the biggest revelation of his entire life: the realization that he is in love with V. These are looks of love and I will not be convinced otherwise. I’m not a facial expression expert or anything, only stating my humble opinions here, but are you seeing this!?

He realizes the truth and it catches him so off guard that he has to look away. He contemplates these newfound feelings and tries to sort them out in the few seconds that he has left with V. And he does. He accepts them. He welcomes them. The gentle, knowing look he gives V when he looks back at them is saying just this.

He also knows that he is now fucked because his love for V is going to complicate things so much more than they already were. Now that he is fully aware that he is in love, these feelings are going to directly conflict with his duties to Arasaka later if a situation arises that places V and Arasaka on opposing sides and I think we all know that is most definitely going to happen at some point.

And now he has to see the love of his life die and just leave this place and go on with his day. Damn. This is turning into one of the saddest love stories I’ve ever seen. Something major is going to happen in the dlc that is going to force his hand one way or another: V or Arasaka? I hope that Arasaka somehow fucks up so bad that it makes his choice easier but my heart breaks imagining the amount of conflict and torment that await him.

The Beginning and The End

#cyberpunk 2077 #goro takemura #takemura #takemura romance

[nightwingmyboi]

Can I ask why you hate Batman and Robin Eternal? (it was my first DC comic ever, my dad bought it for me in one of his trips even though I didn’t know anything about the batfam or comics in general lmao). It’s been so long since the last time I read it I don’t even remember what it was about (I do remember enjoying it in that moment but it may have also been because it was a gift and the drawings were cool lol)

Aww, that’s very sweet. There are certainly bits of the comic that are enjoyable. I’m pretty sure that I’m actually in the minority when I say that I don’t care for it...but since you asked lol, there are several things about these comics that really rub me the wrong way. This is pretty negative (and way longer than I’d planned), so be warned. 

For starters, Dick Grayson was just...not treated well by his family members in these comics. It felt particularly brutal here specifically...I think because Dick would say very harmless things, and his family’s responses in return were so abrupt and unreasonably harsh. Like, Dick says that he’s glad to see Batgirl, and wonders what some kids are doing dressed as Robin...

Batman and Robin Eternal #4

And Batgirl bites his head off. Or, there were times where Dick would just be hanging out in the general vicinity, and people would just take shots at him out of the blue for seemingly no reason. 

Batman and Robin Eternal #3

It felt like he could barely breathe without someone criticizing him for it. At one point, Dick confesses that he’s feeling discouraged, and Damian’s response is to punch him in the face. 

Batman and Robin Eternal #22

Which is a pretty good summary of the family’s treatment of him in these comics to be honest. Just literally, lashing out at him for zero reason while he just takes it. 

One scene in particular that really frustrated me was this one: 

Batman and Robin Eternal #5

You know, that other time in this comic series where one of Dick’s family members punches him in the face while he, once again, takes the hit and does nothing to retaliate. Good times. 

For context...the big bad in these comics is a villain known as “Mother.” Her speciality is brainwashing. She placed several of her “children” in high-profile positions in order to enact her plans, even managing to infiltrate Spyral. In a message left for Dick, Batman specifically explains that “Anyone could be under her control, Dick. They could be people you know. People you love…they probably will be” (Batman and Robin Eternal #1). 

Unlike in Pre-52, Tim’s background is largely a mystery. He’s acting suspiciously. So, Dick takes it upon himself to investigate and ensure that Tim’s not one of Mother’s plants. 

On Tim’s side of things, he’s upset that Dick investigated behind his back and found out where he’d secretly had his parents living for their safety. Dick unintentionally brought danger to their doorstep (though, notably, no one was actually hurt). But Tim’s pissed, and punches Dick in the face. 

Not gonna lie, this was hard to take. I mean, even if Tim was in the right in this argument (which he lowkey isn’t in my eyes), that still does not make it ok for him to just punch Dick out of the blue when Dick is, as pictured above, just talking to him. 

And the hypocrisy that Tim is displaying here is stunning. How he had previously told Dick off for keeping secrets from the family by going undercover with Spyral, when he in fact had a whole secret family tucked away in a corner. How he tells Dick off now for invading people’s privacy, when just earlier in this very comic he had planted surveillance devices in Stephanie’s apartment without her consent. 

Batman and Robin Eternal #2

How Tim storms off and goes on a solo mission with Jason because Dick’s supposedly too personally invested and thus compromised, when he just got so emotionally unhinged that he lost his shit at Dick and punched him. Once again, may I just say, simply stunning. 

But does Tim ever face any consequences for this behavior? Oh, of course not! Instead, we get Jason joking about how great it is to punch Dick in the face when he is not even fighting back. 

Batman and Robin Eternal #7

And everyone collectively piling on to Dick and blaming him, even though he had legitimate concerns. Awesome. 

Batman and Robin Eternal #6

Batman and Robin Eternal #7

And Dick just continues to take it. Not once does he stand up for himself. It’s so hard to read him continually get shit on, I’m sorry. And it’s crazy how they treat him this way, and yet still ultimately look to him for encouragement and rely on him to save the day in the end? You hate to see it. 

I also didn’t like what they did with Cass. I know, I’m just full of complaints. But they really watered her down. With Pre52 Cass, you could actually describe facets of her personality. She was compassionate, had a very refreshing, sassy sense of humor, etc. She wasn’t just...mysterious action girl who has a dark past and cries occasionally. I mean, there were moments where I could see glimpses of personality (the time she visited the ballet being the main one), but on the whole she punched people when needed, and otherwise just stood there as people talked about and around her. Essentially a prop for the story. 

Batman and Robin Eternal #24

Another thing that makes me so uncomfortable (that I couldn’t pin down until I read this post here) is the fact that this comics version of events makes it so that Cass’ own backstory no longer has her as the focus; it’s not about her emotional struggles and journey. By having Cass kill Harper’s mother rather than a random man, it makes the story about Harper, and about Cass gaining Harper’s forgiveness. So...more using Cass as a prop...as an element of someone else’s story in what is supposed to be her origin! 

Honestly, I have no idea why Cass would want to stay with the Bat-family in these comics anyway...her previous mentorship with Barbara Gordon is nonexistent. She’s no longer Batgirl. The two people who were once her closest friends treat her horribly. 

Batman and Robin Eternal #3

Batman and Robin Eternal #4

As if she’s barely a person. Once again, sooooo hard to read this. Why. 

Yeah, I could go on forever nitpicking here. You probably got a sense of it already, but I absolutely despise how Tim is characterized here. Most of the time, he’s an ass. Jason also had pretty inconsistent characterization. And I really don’t like how the whole comic treats Robin like something Batman owns and is meant to benefit from, rather than as something Dick created. I don’t like how Cain was “redeemed” in the end, and that Cass took on the name Orphan instead of Black Bat or Batgirl. Once again, how is she connected to the Bat-family exactly? And I don’t like how Dick’s time as Robin is portrayed. 

The existence of this comic...drives me insane...

It’s also the worst time to be doing a “Does Batman treat his kids like child soldiers?” arc considering it is coming on the tail end of Spyral, aka that one thing that Dick did because Bruce beat the shit out of him and forced him to. 

Nightwing #30

Looking through Batman’s speech to Dick there...some of the things he says to Dick are so uncomfortably close to what Cain says to Cass. Really horrible parallel there. Why DC. 

I really don’t know why Dick was so certain that Bruce didn’t do something shady with Mother, as was implied throughout the comic, when Bruce had pulled the Spyral crap fairly recently. Idk why they didn’t play into that side of things. Like, the fact that this arc ends with Dick comforting Batman about them not being child soldiers: 

Batman and Robin Eternal #26

Instead of Batman stepping up to reaffirm to Dick that he was a good partner and a trusted ally when he spent the whole comic being insulted by his family and being told this stuff by his enemies (and flashback!Batman): 

Batman and Robin Eternal #8

Batman and Robin Eternal #12

Just sucks. I mean, Dick had just recently sacrificed everything (his family, his friends, his life, his identity, everything) to do as Batman wanted and go undercover, only to hear this over and over? To hear that none of it was enough? That he could never be enough? And Dick never gets reassurance that this isn’t true. This comic is just agonizing in so many ways. 

Obviously, everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and I am not criticizing this to be a killjoy? Just venting. If you enjoy these comics, you are free to continue to do you. But I am never going to like them. And when I see people championing these books as the best the Bat-fam has to offer...oof is that hard to hear lmao! Surely we can do better than all this. 

#whoops i have a lot to say #thanks for the excuse to complain anon! #ask #dick grayson #agent 37 #cassandra cain #orphan #bruce wayne #batman #robin #red robin #tim drake #red hood #Jason Todd #negative #batman and robin eternal #spyral #abuse #child abuse #comics #dc comics #anti batfam #anti batman #anti batfamily

[all-things-mlqc]

« It can be implied that malnutrition stunted her growth and she was physically weak in high school and sometimes passed out during P.E. Gavin carried her to the infirmary but left before she gained consciousness. »

OH MY GOD! IT’S TRUE?!

This turned out to be a lot longer than I originally planned but y’all know you can’t ask me questions about Gavin being a good bb without my dumbass going o f f.

Yep yep yep. The things I could tell you that Gavin has done for MC. The man has done so so much. He watches her from afar and keeps her safe without ever interfering in her life. He had a feeling she was probably a bit afraid of him due to the rumors about him going around school but she continued to show him kindness regardless and Gavin took that to heart. That was everything for him since he, quite frankly, has nothing else. He lost his mother, his father doesn’t acknowledge him as a human being, and everyone else calls him a monster. So for someone to help him break free from that darkness and improve BY HIMSELF MC was his motivation but he picked up his act by himself and became someone he believed to be worthy of MC is astounding in my opinion.

In an unreleased rumors & secrets, the story takes place back when they were in high school and reveals how they met and how their relationship grew spoiler alert: it didn’t LMAO. Then again, Gavin never really wanted her to know of all the things he did for her. We do know how they originally met which was on a rainy day. MC was squatting down on the sidewalk, covering a small box with a kitten in it with her body. Gavin was around the corner, wondering what she was doing only to see the smile on her face as she was quietly talking to the kitten. She then noticed his gaze and looked up at him with a big smile at this time, she didn’t know about the rumors. Gavin was taken aback since nobody has ever shown him such gentleness other than his mother. He looked away and kicked a can on the ground, hiding his flustered face. MC returned to watching the kitten only to feel the weight of a jacket laying on her rain soaked back and found Gavin jogging through the rain without his jacket. MC told her friends about the encounter which was how she found out about the rumors. Her friends were scared for her, asking if she was ok, and then explaining his reputation as the school “overlord”. MC was skeptical of the rumors considering how gentle and kind he was with her but was concerned with how everybody else calls him a monster.

Ever since that day, Gavin found his gaze shifting to MC whenever they were near. He couldn’t get the sweet smile she gave him out of his mind boy was smitten. Minor also realized what had happened and even gave Gavin a little nudge, and by nudge I mean Minor went over the top and told Gavin everything about MC including her hobbies, how she goes to the library all the time, this and that. Well Gavin being the smitten kitten he is, decided to go to the library where he found MC, on her toes, reaching for a book on the top shelf. Gavin easily reached for the book over her head and handed it to her without a word, leaving MC in surprised shock after seeing who had helped her. Even though she had heard the rumors about him, she still gave him a quiet “thank you” and scurried off. Gavin made it a routine where he would “study” in the library. Half the time he would just sit there and stare at the textbooks he hated so much in front of him. He continued to watch over MC from a distance, silently guarding her from literally anything that could harm her/make her sick/make her upset. It’s almost as if she was a small flame, at a breezy beach, being threatened to go out which Gavin refused to let happen ironic that Gavin’s evol is wind. He really is bad for MC’s heart isn’t he hahaha ok I’ll stop. He would quietly follow MC in the hallways, making sure she gets to her next class safely with all the real jocks being absolute shit punks and doing bad things. Gavin was truly just worried that someone or something would cause, what he considered to be the only pure and genuinely warm-hearted person, harm. Gavin values personal judgement and independence so when MC’s opinions on him wasn’t completely swayed by the rumors and she continued to show him kindness, he basically vowed to himself to never let anyone or anything take away that kindness.

Gavin continued to watch over her throughout their year in high school and payed close attention to her well-being. On a cold winter night, Gavin and Minor found MC on the sidewalk with a thin layer of clothes, ears and hands red from the night’s chill. Gavin couldn’t stand seeing her so cold so he told Minor to buy her a hot drink. As if to not frighten her, he also told Minor not to mention it’s from him. What Gavin didn’t know is that MC always caught glances of his silhouette shadowing her from afar. This also confirmed the kindness MC believed she saw from him. She then began to greet him every time they passed each other in the hallway and would offer him another sweet smile. Unfortunately, all of this came crashing down after MC found Gavin in a fight in a nearby alleyway by the school. Seeing Gavin this way scared MC and made her wonder if the rumors really were true.

With ungodly luck, I am so sorry Gavin it was around this time that Gavin had written the letter addressed to MC and was this exact fight where the letter became blood stained. After finishing his business with the punks who were taking money from people and even threatening MC which was revealed in one of Gavin’s dates which I will link the date summary post at the bottom of this post, Gavin went to see Minor and asked him to deliever the letter to MC. He also asked Minor if he could rewrite it because he didn’t want to scare her with the blood.

Minor: i ThiNk iT lOoKs cOoL LiKe tHiS

Minor, I love you, but you don’t know the first thing about romance. Not everyone is immune to Gavin’s bad boy side like you.

The letter consisted of one thing that we know of which was a date, time, and place. It was also during this time that Gavin would stay the night at school since he didn’t have anywhere else to go. So Gavin stayed the night at the school’s library and waited early one morning for MC to arrive so he could say goodbye to her in person since he was transferring schools and knew MC regretted not being able to say goodbye more than anything. Gavin sat in the library, scanning through a book he has read oh so many times, which just so happened to be the same book Gavin retrieved for MC that one day. He had read the book multiple times, trying to understand its contents in hope of understanding MC more. He spent 14 hours— 14 HOURS — waiting for MC to show up but she never did. Gavin was disappointed but not upset with her at all. He knew there was only a small chance she would show up but he hoped that she would. Placing a ginkgo leaf in the pages of the book, Gavin left the library and was never to be seen again... me being melodramatic there but yeah he didn’t show up until like Loveland City went to shit and MC turned into a god and the whole main story began lmao.

But yeah, Gavin has done so so much for her and still continued to watch over her after transferring schools. His father got in touch with him and convinced him to join law enforcement in order to protect MC. Well that’s how he managed to convince him. All he wanted was to have Gavin as a tool he could use since his evol was “activated” but I’m not going to get into that or else I’ll end up ranting about Gavin’s awful father too LMAO. But yep! All of it is true :>

Gavin’s High School Date (mentioned in this post)

#mlqc #mr. love queen's choice #mr. love #mlqc gavin #asks #mlqc r&s #mlqc dates #y’all getting me in my feels #then again when am I not in my feels #I will never not stop talking about him #ANYWHO I APOLOGIZE FOR RANTING #you really opened a can of worms with this ask #but yeah STAN GAVIN

[chaoticspacefam]

The Lana Shipping Meme!

This is a meme made by @swtor-legacy-sitcom​ who very kindly tagged me to fill it in, thank you! :D This was super fun, I’ve been in a bit of a writing rutt lately so this was a nice way to sort-of dip my toe back into it :P I TOTALLY forgot this was in my drafts and forgot to schedule it to post, I’m soooo sorry it took so long lmao 😳😬

I’m not sure if we’re supposed to tag other people with this one so I’ll just leave a general, open tag here: if you have a Lana ship and want to fill this one out, feel free to yoink the meme and say I tagged you! Yes, I promise I mean you <3

Spoilers for KOTFE/KOTET, and slight spoilers for the Subterfugeverse “version” of said events, will be discussed below, so be aware of that before proceeding! There’s also some midlly nsfw questions so you might wanna skip those if they’re not your thing! :D Under a cut because it’s long, but no trigger warnings need apply.

Is Lana Beniko absolutely done with their shit?

Oh yes, absolutely. Nearly always. At any given time, BUT Lana wouldn’t have it any other way. Saarai may be a reckless, overly-heroic idiot with seemingly no self-preservation, but she’s Lana’s reckless, overly-heroic idiot, ya know :’D

Do they make jokes together?

Fairly often, yes! Theirs is very much a flirty/fond banter type of relationship. Lana tells her she’s insufferable, Saarai rolls her eyes and snarks back, so on. See:

Saarai: Well this was a stupid idea Lana: Considering it was one of yours, I’m not surprised Saarai: Why didn’t you say something? Lana: I did and you did it anyway. And what have we learnt from this? Saarai, quietly: I’m a dumbass and I should listen to you more.... Lana: Good. I still love you, though. Saarai: :’D

Lana, two minutes later: You’re going to do it again, aren’t you? Saarai: Yeah, probably.

as well as that little cutscene “You’d better come back blah blah blah” “Well I have you to rescue me, that’s all I need~” is their default pre-dangerous battle banter :P

Who’s hornier? (who initiates)

Saarai is definitely hornier, and while she’s not always the one to initiate, she’s definitely the one to ask more often. (if I had to give it a number, prolly something like 65/45 lol) One of these days, Lana’s going to buy a spray bottle /jk

Kinkiest they’ve been?

Not awfully. Saarai’s a biter (Lana likes it, don’t worry 😏) and she loves it when Lana pulls her hair, but other than that, and making use of connections within the Force to heighten the sensations during such activities ;) they’re pretty vanilla

There was a post going around a while back about an alternative to a praise kink that was like, a “reassurance” kink, instead. I can’t find the actual post to link to it and I haven’t pinned down any specifics for them yet but I definitely think that’s a Saarai thing to look into later 😏

Has Lana ever covered up something your OC did as Minister of Intelligence?

In a roundabout way, yes. Technically, Saarai’s entire existence on Rishii. Since, teeechhnically, as far as the Empire’s concerned at that point, Rai’s supposed to be dead. Lana doesn’t know the technicalities of why that is (and Saarai isn’t comfortable telling her, even now), but she knows it’s important, so she does it for her even if she doesn’t know why.

Favorite non sexual downtime activity?

Cuddles! Saarai is a cuddlebug, and while Lana enjoys them she’s definitely not the “if I don’t get cuddled x times a day I can’t go on” type (in my headcanon, ofc, I’m not saying she can never be that way!) but, Saarai’s also very warm and cuddling her is cozy, so it’s something they both enjoy, whether Rai’s the big spoon, or - and this is Rai’s favourite thing ever - Saarai putting her head in Lana’s lap so Lana can play with her hair, it’s something they always do at the end of the day when they’re both done with work.

Mushiest thing Your OC has ever done for Lana?

So, I’m too impatient & lazy to do the actual HK missions in-game, but I know you can technically get another HK unit, so because ✨it’s my fanfic and I get to make the rules✨ Saarai sent Aria (my DS! Jedi Shadow, very good at stealth) back to Zakuul and though it was a bit battered up, she managed to retrieve HK’s processor. They had to get him a new chassis, but Koth and Ty managed to salvage the rest of his “important” bits and they rebuilt HK for her after they settled on Odessen :’3

Most Embarrassed Lana has ever been because of your OC?

In the middle of an important meeting, in front of everyone on the Alliance High Council, including Theron, Senya, Ni’kasi, Vano, etc.

Lana, sarcastically, after they’ve been disagreeing on how to handle a particular matter for ~1 hr: hahaha bite me.

Saarai, dead serious: Okay, where? 😏

Lana was mortified, to say the least XD

That thing that happened that they vow to NEVER speak of?

Saarai’s reaction when they went to Nathema. Rai’s psychometric, and in hindsight she realises putting her hand on that wall as she ducked into the building was a mistake. She was bombarded with flashback after flashback of what had happened on Nathema when it was still Medriaas, the planet where she was born and where most of her family died, it was not a pleasant experience for her and Rai actually collapsed at one stage because it was all too much for her ;w;

Lana had to bring her back around and herd her back on the ship, where Rai had to wait because she just couldn’t go any further, and Lana and Vano had to go on alone. Lana agreed not to tell anyone else about what had happened, because Saarai didn’t want any of them to worry about her, or think she was “weak” because of it.

The Angriest they’ve ever been at each other?

There’s actually two instances that come to mind for this one

1) Koth’s betrayal/stealing of the Gravestone, Lana was pissed at Koth and wanted to take it out on him, Saarai was pissed at the situation and got between them and chewed Lana out for taking it out on him. (Subterfugeverse is kinda complicated, there’s two Commanders calling the shots for different parts of the Alliance, Koth took issue with something Vano did and made the reckless, kinda stupid decision to still steal the Gravestone even tho Saarai didn’t do anything. (also for anyone new to the blog, all three of them are dating, they’re polyam ;)) Lana took it personally, Saarai was more upset that he was upset and didn’t say anything before he did something stupid. Rai and Lana butted heads about how to deal with it, Lana got salty cause she got yelled at, but they ofc fix it later :3)

2) Torian’s death. Saarai had tried to warn Lana what would happen if they split Vette & Torian up during that fight, Lana brushed it off and told Rai to “stop overreacting, it will be fine”. Obviously, it was not fine. Rai was very angry at the result because, I quote, “I WARNED YOU! And you wouldn’t listen to me!” Saarai refused to speak to Lana for a few days after that, it was kinda a rough time for Lana, she’s only seen Rai get that angry a few times, and only once at her so it shook her a bit. 😢

How does both Lana, and your OC initiate the ‘fade to black’ ;)

For Saarai, the “indicator” is usually when her kisses start to become 50/50 between kissing and biting/nibbling. That’s the universal “ok I want to” signal for Rai. Usually very quickly followed by a soft “yes?” or “are you sure?”, either against her skin or into her ear, depending on where she’s kissing at the time; because she’ll always check first, and if Lana says “no”, it’s off, because Lana’s consent is more important than any of her feelings.

For Lana, it’s when she’ll let Rai pick her up and/or usually to pin her to a wall. There’s a decent height difference, Saarai’s 6 ft 3, and I headcanon that while Lana’s not necessarily “short” at around 5 ft 8, she’s considerably smaller than Rai, as well as being more “reserved” with PDA, she’ll hold hands, or kiss her on the cheek etc. in front of other people, but otherwise Lana tries to keep somewhat “professional” while they’re at work. So when she starts climbing her like a tree, Rai knows she’s about to get some. XD

Do they have kids?

Kiiiinddd of? It’s complicated. Saarai has a son, Ty, from a previous relationship. Lana & Koth both sort of step up to help co-parent, but since Sith Purebloods age differently (i.e. they’re adults at ~20ish the same as humans, but after that they’re more like elves and their physical aging slows down, so they’re more long-lived), even though Ty’s very young by Pureblood standards, he’s still 60 years old, so he’s technically older than Lana and it’s kind of awkward for him to actually call her mom even if she kind of acts like one. He accidentally called her “mom” once, it was very awkward for both of them XD

What has been the most protective Lana has ever had of said kid?

I sat and scratched my head for ages trying to think of something to answer this question with, but I’m very sad to say that right now at the time of answering this meme, I don’t have any specific scenes planned out to tell you about! :( But rest assured that Lana absolutely would rush to help Ty if it was ever necessary :D

House pets? Is your Lana a dog person, or Cat person?

Funnily enough, they don’t actually have any pets! I’d like to think of Lana as more of a cat person than a dog person, in my personal opinion. But they have yet to get any pets of their own, maybeee later on, I dunno. Haven’t hit on any solid ideas for them yet, but I feel like if they happened upon a cute kitty they definitely could adopt one at some stage :’3

Do they get freaky on the Alliance Base or in the Shuttles?

They’ve done both, to be honest lol. Thankfully, Saarai’s sneaky enough that they haven’t gotten caught doing it, yet. Thank the Force.

Are their Sparring Matches Flirtatious? Hardcore?

They could go either way, it depends on what kind of mood they’re both in. If Lana’s particularly annoyed (usually not at Rai, but sometimes) then it’s more likely to be a hardcore spar, Rai’s a pretty tough cookie so she’ll often offer to be Lana’s punching bag in order to spare them some repair bills so she doesn’t rip apart the training dummies irrepairably, it’s okay, Rai can take it ;)

But if they’re both in an otherwise good mood and are just sparring for practise sakes, then yes, they often very quickly devolve into flirtacious banter and some of the classics, you know, “okay you win, you can let me go now” “mmm, nah” “I thought we were sparring” “do you want me to stop” “...don’t you dare.” etc. :’D

Class Specific things that play into their relationship?

Saarai’s a Juggernaut, and I headcanon Lana’s probably some sort of Sorcerer, so they tend to fight as such. They cover each other in more ways than one, if you want to get to Lana you have to go through Saarai first (and good luck to you, that woman can take and give a fucking beating lmao). Lana picks off whatever Saarai’s saber misses, usually with Force attacks but sometimes with her saber, too. Saarai takes bullets for Lana so Lana doesn’t have to get hurt. Lana yells at Rai for doing that and then fixes her up with Force healing afterwards, rinse and repeat. :’D

When they do argue, Lana tends to spontaneously manifest Force lightning, Saarai’s used to it and doesn’t bat an eyelid, she knows Lana’s not actually going to throw it at her and she’s more than prepared to dodge any stray bolts that do come her way.

Lana’s the tactician and the ground support, Saarai’s the battering ram/the bigass hammer used to clear space when Lana needs a bit of extra “oomph” (and trust me, they’re usually never far apart. The other one will be there and then you’ll be in trouble lmao)

Describe a time your OC went ‘Full beast mode’ to protect Lana, instead of the other way around?

"Kriff. Koth, what happened?” Three words was all it took, and everything made sense: “They hurt Lana.”

That scene in the Endless Swamps on Zakuul, just before they pull the Gravestone out of it and Lana and the Commander get ambushed. Saarai went with Lana & Koth to break Vano out of carbonite (since Saarai was still on Rishii at the time, she doesn’t get frozen, only Vano) so when they split up, Saarai goes with Koth to look for ship parts while Vano goes with Lana to look for water.

Lana and Vano get ambushed by the Knights/Skytroopers, and Lana’s hand gets busted. It takes Saarai and Koth a little while to rush over there to help them, but when they do

Saarai. Goes. Fucking. Feral. It’s the scariest she’s ever been in front of Lana and Lana will never forget it, they almost didn’t really need Senya’s help for that part, Saarai basically had it covered. I imagine Lana later described it as “kind of hot, but also kind of terrifying, actually”

Saarai’s considered Chaotic Good, so generally speaking if there’s a peaceful, non-violent solution to a problem, she’ll opt for that, but she has a few buttons that you just do not want to push, ever. And hurting her partners is one of those buttons. She will go apeshit and that’s exactly what happened in the swamp lmao

Little things couples do to annoy each other. What does Lana do? What does your OC do?

Saarai likes to wake up early and hide Lana’s kaf mug in increasingly ridiculous places. Once, she even got Koth to help her stick it to the top of the Gravestone’s hull. It took Lana half the morning to find it, Lana was not amused. XD

Saarai and Koth also have an ongoing “terrible puns” contest where they basically see who can annoy Lana with the most ridiculous puns possible, see this post for an example :P Lana wonders where/how they keep coming up with these puns, she really does.

Does Lana get jealous in your headcanon?

Not really! In Subterfugeverse, both Rai and Lana are polyam, so generally speaking, jealousy isn’t a problem for them, and when it is it’s more of a case of “hey. Hey. Hey, I’m not getting enough attention, pay attention to me.” and then it’s usually dealt with and all is well ;)

When Lana meets Anri, the only thing Saarai does is tease her about “when she’s going to make the move”. 😜

Story that is prominent in their relationship?

I was gonna draw a little doodle for this but the poses kept not coming out right so I gave up, sorryyy qAq

I haven’t gotten very far into planning the SoR onwards+ segments of Subterfugeverse, just bits and bobs like this, but I’d say for now the most prominent is probably their first meeting on Rishii. Basically, meet-cute but with a lightsaber involved too hahaha. There was a lot of posturing and flirty subtext right from the get-go with these two, even if Saarai was particularly suspicious at first (see the earlier question about her being technically dead to the Empire). At first, when she noticed Lana tailing Ty (because Lana was extremely confused about why a Pureblood was so far from Sith space ;)), Saarai assumed that something had happened to her twin and the Empire had A) found out she and Ty were still alive and B) Sent Lana to track them down and kill them for good. Several tension-loaded hours later and Lana managed to convince Rai that actually, Ni’kasi was fine and speaking of, she was trying to avoid being killed too so maybe, actually, they could help each other. And that was all she wrote <3

#swtor #lana romance meme #subterfugeverse #mildly n/sfw #swtor oc: saarai ahaszaai #ot3: sorry i ''stole'' your girlfriend #saarai/lana #since this is a lana meme i'm not gonna throw this in koth's tag but i will put it in their shipping tag for this blog #also yes lana/anri is going to be an eventual thing in subterfugeverse; even if i haven't worked out the specifics of *how* yet #because i'm sorry but there is *WAY* too much subtext in that lana/anri interaction and my dumbass polyam brain went ''hehehehehe :'3'' #so GODDAMN IT I AM GOING TO USE IT lol #bioware can pry this ship from my cold dead fingers #watch me i'll turn the alliance into one big fucking polycule if you let me /lh #some of these i haven't gotten to plan out solidly yet so i had to think on the spot #and as such the specifics might be subject to change as we *GET* to those parts in the actual fic ''canon'' #but for now here ya go ;D #long post