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princesscatherinemiddleton · 7 months

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William and I are absolutely delighted to be with you in Birmingham, on World Mental Health Day, for our Royal Foundation Youth Forum. Mental health is something we both care deeply about. Back in 2016, we launched Heads Together, a campaign supported by so many wonderful partners, that helped break the stigma around mental health, and encouraged more people to have everyday conversations about it. Alongside the efforts of many others, we have seen real change. Today, more people feel empowered to talk about their mental health than ever before. This is a major step forward. William and I continue to be inspired to see young people, like you all here today, leading this charge - being particularly brave in having some of those conversations yourselves. As a generation, you value and talk more about your mental health than any before you - something we truly admire and applaud. It is important, however, to remind ourselves of the big picture as we meet here today. What are we trying to improve by focusing our efforts on mental health? Ultimately, we are working to build a happier, healthier world. We want to shape fairer, safer, kinder, more equal societies - societies that seek the common good and a better future together. For just as we need to restore, protect and invest in our planet, so we must also restore, protect and invest in the communities, relationships and people living on it. We believe that starts with you, our young people, but it also means all of us. Because when you think about it, we can each shape the world in which we live. So, we know, like you, that simply talking about mental health is just not enough. Because although many more conversations are now taking place, it is now vital we spend more time focusing on how we talk about our mental health - and crucially; What are we going to do, to build positive, preventative solutions to one of today's toughest challenges. Positive mental health is shaped by our ability to understand and manage ourselves as individuals, and to connect with others through our relationships, friendships, families and communities. We are living in a world, however, that is changing so fast, where social media and concerns about the threat of conflict, pandemics, climate change or the cost of living, can impact our emotional wellbeing and future hopes dramatically. On top of this, as young people, this can also be a time in your lives, when you perhaps feel the vulnerability of growing independence and self-consciousness. But, by gaining deeper insight into ourselves, we'll be better equipped, to handle the external challenges we all encounter. Today we heard the science and research that backs this up, and how crucial it is, that we develop the skills needed to navigate everything we will face in the future. William and I believe we need to do all we can as a society to help young people develop the emotional and social life skills they need for good mental health, and to thrive in the world around them. Both learning about the world and learning about how to be happy and thrive within it, should go hand-in-hand. So, if we talk about mental health with this in mind, it need not have so many negative connotations. We can choose to see our emotional worlds and mental wellbeing in a different light, we can normalise it and recognise it as something we all have, and require, as human beings. This will be a key focus for us both as we build on Heads Together. Thank you all so much for joining us today. Together, let's build a brighter, more resilient future.

The Princess of Wales | World Mental Health Day 2023

#mine #royaltyedit #kate #quotes #speech #wmhd23

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mdhwrites · 7 months

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What do you think about Anne’s, Marcy’s, and Sasha’s jobs in The Hardest Thing epilogue? Was it a good addition to their characters’ arcs? Something nice to make the audience catch up with the Calamity Trio as adults? Or a mix of both?

I know a billion people have said this but they're great. Honestly, while Sasha's is the most blatantly different than you'd expect, to the point where even the show acknowledges she's a therapist now because of all she had to work through, Anne is just so pitch perfect. Even better is that the show knows how to frame it to make it both blunt and subtle.

See, the obvious thing with Anne is that it's her still connecting with her old family. A full circle with her having hated frogs at the beginning of the show. That's all true but I actually want to focus more on HOW she decided to do that. If they just wanted that angle and potentially reinforce her desire to go back, she could have just been a researcher. She extends her eventual interest in the world of Amphibia to now be about the amphibians of our world and keep that focus tighter.

But she works at an Aquarium and is not just a herpetologist but also a tour guide. 'Miss Frog Lady' as she's called. This is an external facing job and she probably doesn't get to study as much as something like a wildlife research position would allow her. I doubt Anne minds though because this allows her to better pass on the lessons she learned from Amphibia's people rather than just reminisce about the past. She gets to open up kid's eyes to looking at their world with wonder. Allows people different viewpoints on things than they might normally consider. Hell, I bet you she's gotten in trouble at least once for focusing too much on getting the kids who show up in her branch of the building from squabbling than her job.

Sasha honestly has layers of that sort too. A therapist has a very complex job with their clients. On the one hand, they are in total control because the client puts a lot of trust into them. A therapist will likely know more about a person than anyone else in their life just because they need such a deep look into the person's psyche to be able to help them. However, a therapist can't really use this control. They have to work with their client to help them heal. Their job is to help you be you after all, not to be the version of you that they want you to be.

It's kind of why therapy and mental health services are so often demonized and corrupted in media because it's an easy place to be vulnerable. *sigh* But that's also why it's nice that an ex-villain is jubilantly just trying to help. It feels like an inversion of the trope while also being sincere and completely natural. And yeah, like the show said: She had a lot of her own issues to deal with and now she's passing her lessons forward.

Marcy is honestly the only one who isn't passing lessons forward but it makes sense since she doesn't have an arc in the show. Her one mistake in the entire show was being a scared, lonely girl who just didn't want to lose her friends, even though she already knew those friends weren't great to her. They didn't try to really connect with her or her interests. Really figure out how she ticked until Amphibia by how it seems, especially Sasha.

FORTUNATELY this is actually what the show pulls on for the through line to her new job. Having been an architect, we already knew she had some strong artistic ability. We even get to see cute drawings from her from time to time like on her wagon. So her drawing skill and love for art doesn't come out of nowhere and with how she already has a mind constantly crafting new worlds for her to want to explore and the like, her being an artist is great.

Her being an independent webcomic artist... Is even fucking better. She could have been in industry and that would have worked but as an independent, we know she had to form a community around her. She had to find those who connected with her work herself rather than someone else being able to do the work for her. As a content creator myself, it's actually the thing I struggle with most. More people nowadays follow me for my analysis than they do my writing and even then, not for my general writing lessons without it being tied to something else.

Being able to believe Marcy found that community though and flourished? It's perhaps the best possible fate for the girl who began the series so alone.

So yeah, just top notch and it's part of why the epilogue is so incredibly satisfying.

++++++=====++++++

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

#Amphibia #marcy wu #sasha waybright #anne boonchuy

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pocket-luv101 · 1 year

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Desert Expedition

Fandom: Genshin Impact Ship: CynoNari

Summary: Tighnari invites Cyno to go on an expedition with him and his father.

“Cyno, will you be busy two weeks from now?” Tighnari asked during their patrol through the rainforest. While Cyno had the afternoon free, Tighnari needed to complete his Forest Watcher duties. Cyno decided to join him so they could spend time together. It was rare that their schedules aligned so they needed to carve out time together. “I have a favour to ask you but you can say no. The Matra has been overworked ever since Nahida was rescued. My last request of you also led to a lot of trouble.”

Tighnari chuckled to hide the guilt he felt. When he asked Cyno to investigate the sages and find his old master, he didn’t expect the situation to become so dangerous. After the whole ordeal, he wished they could relax in his hut and share a meal. They were finally able to spend time together but it wasn’t enough for Tighnari. He wondered if he was being greedy to want so much of Cyno’s time.

“You can ask me anything.” Cyno agreed even before he heard Tighnari’s request. Someone as prideful and independent as Tighnari wouldn’t ask for help unless he felt that it was something he couldn’t accomplish himself. Even now, he could hear that Tighnari was reluctant to tell him. They trusted each other after spending years together but Cyno wished that he would lean on him more. He watched him in the corner of his eyes and thought of how he would do anything for him.

“My father is going to the desert and collecting scarabs for his research. The tension between the rainforest and desert is slowly being resolved but I’m still worried about him going on an expedition. He reassured me that he’ll hire mercenaries to escort him. I’ll feel better if the person helping him was someone I knew and trusted. The first person that came to mind was you.”

“Because I’m from the desert?”

“Because you’re my best friend.”

The trust in Tighnari’s voice made Cyno surprisingly happy and a rare smile appeared on his face. He told himself that he appreciated how Tighnari recognized him for more than his strength. Deep inside, he knew that there was another reason his words made him happy. Cyno was in love with Tighnari. He didn’t know how to confess to Tighnari when admitting those feelings to himself was difficult.

Tighnari continued. “Your strength isn’t the only reason you would be a good guide for him. You studied at the Akademiya and you’re familiar with scholars as the General Mahamatra so you can reason with my father. He can get carried away when researching insects and he’ll run blindly into a tomb. He can be a lot of trouble but I’ll make it up to you once you return.”

“Okay, I’ll take your father through the desert. My current investigation will be completed soon and I’ll tell Shohre to cover my next case.” Cyno would’ve agreed no matter his busy schedule. He knew how Tighnari adored his parents and he didn’t want anything to happen to him. If someone was important to him, Cyno would protect them. Tighnari offered him a reward but he only needed to see him smile.

“Thank you, Cyno. I know it’s difficult for you to take breaks from your job. Those sages give you the work of three people. Your job is important to you but you need to think of your health. If it becomes too much for you, tell me and I’ll speak with my old master to stop bothering you.” He told him. Cyno could easily imagine Tighnari lecturing the new sages and it made him chuckle.

Tighnari stopped walking and he lightly tapped the furrows between Cyno’s brows. “Are you listening to me, Cyno? You shouldn’t laugh when I’m voicing my worry. As punishment, you have to return to my hut and go to sleep at a reasonable time for once. I’ll make dinner and tell you about my father’s research. No matter who he meets, he will quiz them about insects. It’s his way of starting a conversation.”

He told Cyno stories of when his father would take him on expeditions through the rainforest to search for bugs. Despite the small complaints and sighs in Tighnari’s story, it was clear that they were a close family. He finished telling him about how he begged his father to take him to the desert and fainted. He expected Cyno to laugh but he was silent. While he was a man of few words, Tighnari could hear a deep sadness and regret in his voice.

Tighnari remembered that Cyno hadn’t been able to return to his family in the desert for the past few years. Even if the Matra gave him a vacation to visit his family, the journey was long and difficult. Cyno rarely talked about his life before the Akademiya but Tighnari knew that he must miss his family. Instead of poking his forehead again, he tenderly rubbed his thumb over his temple.

“My father likes Genius Invokation TCG. He’s terrible at the game so he might not be a challenge for you but it’s better than memorizing facts about bugs to talk with him. When he tries to quiz you about bugs, change the topic to card games.” Tighnari added to change the topic. “It’s getting late so we should return home before Collei starts to worry about us.”

“My beetle card! How could it be defeated in only one round?” Tighnari’s father, Malik, sorrowfully transferred the card from the field to the growing pile of defeated cards. Cyno had intended to use a weaker deck against Malik because Tighnari mentioned that he wasn’t a skilled TCG player like they were. To his surprise, his beginner deck was still able to sweep his opponent.

Cyno debated whether he should change his strategy for their next game. On one hand, he respected Malik and he wouldn’t purposely lose. Another part of Cyno worried that he might anger him and his father would tell Tighnari. His concerns were similar to meeting a lover’s father-in-law for the first time. He and Tighnari were only friends so he shouldn’t be as nervous as he was.

“When does a joke become a dad joke? When it becomes apparent.” Cyno said but Malik gave him the same confused expression most did.

“Tighnari wrote about you in our letters but I thought he was exaggerating how dry your puns are. I was waiting for you to explain it.” Malik smiled politely. “He insisted that I allow you to join our expedition. You would think it’s the old man who worries about their child, not the other way around. I agreed because he said you needed an excuse to take a break from work.”

Cyno’s hand paused over his deck. When Tighnari asked him to join the expedition, it was for his father’s sake. Malik appeared to believe the opposite. Tighnari wasn’t the type to lie without a reason so Cyno silently nodded in agreement and played along. A part of him was curious about the reasons behind the lie though. He drew another card and said, “I can give you a few tips and strategies for your deck.”

“I would be a master at this game if my colleagues weren’t so closed minded and played cards with me. How can I test my deck without an opponent?” Malik said loud enough for the scholars studying a few feet from them to hear. The expedition party quickly avoided his gaze and it was clear that they were intimidated by him.

“Now we know where Tighnari gets his feral traits.” Someone among the crowd muttered. Cyno’s eyes narrowed at the insult and he started to stand. Unexpectedly, Malik was the one to stop him and silently gestured for him to return to their card game. The older man had fennec traits and he must’ve heard the person as well.

“Ignore them. They’re lucky that my wife wasn’t here or else she would drag them back to Gandharva Ville to apologize to Tighnari directly. He inherited his fearless spirit from her.” He spoke of his family with pride and love. “I miss them when I have to leave the rainforest but researching scarabs is best done in their natural environment.”

Cyno understood the conflicting feelings Malik had with his job. The Matra required him to leave on long investigations and leave behind the person he loved. A peaceful life with Tighnari could only be a dream until Sumeru was safe from the reckless pursuit of Forbidden Knowledge.

“In Tighnari’s last letter, he asked for advice to help you on your journey. He doesn’t want you to be lonely on your adventures. I haven’t had the chance to write him back but I can give you advice directly now. You should carry a picture with you.” They were friends but Cyno hadn’t expected Tighnari to tell his father about him. Did Malik already have a bad opinion on him because of his bad jokes and dangerous job?

“You don’t have to worry about Tighnari when you’re on an expedition. I will protect him.” As soon as the words left his mouth, he realized that he was once again speaking to him as if he were his father-in-law.

“He told me that too. After seeing you fight, I’m more confident Tighnari was being truthful and not lying just so I won’t worry.” Malik took out his notebook where he had a photo of his wife and Tighnari pinned to the cover. “This is when Tighnari was six. Isn’t he adorable? He was a good natured kid but he got into trouble. He tried to fight this older kid for bullying his friend.”

Cyno wondered how he would react if he told him that Tighnari hadn’t changed. He only became braver throughout the years. Afterall, he faced a Fatui Harbinger. Malik continued to tell him stories from Tighnari’s childhood as they played.

The game was interrupted when they heard someone call. “Dad! Cyno!”

Cyno recognized the voice immediately but he thought he was mistaken at first. In the horizon, Tighnari ran towards their camp with Layla and Faruzan following him. He rose to his feet to greet him even though he was still trying to make sense of how he could be in the desert. Due to his fur, the desert heat was difficult for him.

Tighnari was out of breath when he reached them and he placed his hand on Cyno’s arm for balance. He saw the confusion on both of their faces and smirked. He held up his wrist to show them the square bracelets he wore.

“This is the device made by the Kshahrewar Darshan. It was designed to regulate one’s body but Faruzan and Layla helped mortify it to make a cold aura around me. With this, I can join your expedition through the desert. It’s not a perfect solution since I still need to wear thinner clothes underneath.” Tighnari said and lifted his black cloak. Cyno pulled himself out of his shock and realized that he was wearing his old cape from when he was a student.

“Welcome to our expedition party!” Malik patted his shoulder.

In contrast to how hot the desert was during the day, the nights were frigid. Tighnari wished that he had packed an extra set of clothes to wear after the sun set. He wrapped himself in Cyno’s old cloak but it barely provided him with warmth. He opened his eyes and saw Cyno sitting across the firepit from him. The thought of asking him to sleep beside him to share body heat crossed his mind.

“Are you having trouble sleeping?” Cyno asked and opened his eyes. He wasn’t surprised to see that he was still awake considering his personality. He rarely allowed himself to sleep deeply due to the fear that someone could attack them at night. His spear stood next to him where he could easily wield it if needed. The few times he was able to fully relax was when he stayed in Tighnari’s hut.

“I’m just a little cold.” Without a word, Cyno patted the ground beside him and signalled for him to share body heat. He crossed the fireplace so they were sitting next to each other. As he settled himself into a comfortable position, Cyno moved his spear so it wouldn’t accidentally stab him. Tighnari leaned against his arm and sighed contently.

“Warm?”

“Very.”

Cyno looked down at Tighnari and he was tempted to brush the green locks from his face. He clutched the black fabric in his hand to stop himself from moving. Tighnari felt the fabric move and he assumed that he was cold. He adjusted the cloak so that it blanketed both of them. “Thank you for agreeing to come on this expedition, Cyno. Did my father tell you any strange stories about my childhood.”

“Maybe one or two.” He teased and Tighnari lightly slapped his leg in retaliation. He didn’t mind and he only chuckled. Cyno glanced at his father and then leaned down to whisper into Tighnari’s ear. “There is one thing that I wanted to ask you about. Your father said you wanted me to go on this expedition because I need a vacation. You told me that it was for your father’s safety.”

“Honestly, it was for both reasons. You’ll be able to rest more with an easy escort mission and my father will be protected. I didn’t ask you to go as a trick.” Tighnari told him. “Are you angry that it ended up like that?”

“There’s nothing to be upset about when you have good intentions. It’s better than how you’ll lecture the Adventurers for their own good.” He said and Tighnari smiled. He began to respond to Cyno but a yawn interrupted him. The device on his wrist allowed him to travel to the desert but he wasn’t familiar with hiking over the rolling hills of sand. He was exhausted after the journey.

“When I was setting up camp with my father, he told me about your card game. He likes you, even if he wasn’t able to take a single card from you. He said I should invite you to dinner the next time everyone in our family is free. What do you think, Cyno?”

“It would be interesting.” He whispered. Cyno looked down and found that sleep had settled over Tighnari. In their position, he knew that his arm would be numb once they woke but he didn’t move Tighnari or risk waking him. “Goodnight.”

#genshin impact #cynonari #cyno and tighnari #genshin impact cyno #genshin impact tighnari #fanfiction

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orcinus-veterinarius · 2 years

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do you genuinely support seaworld? because if you do, then that is genuinely disapointing to me as i loved your content. dolphins (esp bottlenoses) are incredibly intelligent creatures with their own languages and cultures, can experience emotion in the same ways we do, and display self awareness on nearly the same level as us. there's no situation in which they should be kept in and bred in captivity, and dolphins that cannot live in the wild deserve to go to sanctuaries that are able to provide actual proper living space, respect, and care for them. they are real, living creatures, with their own personalities and identities. they shouldnt be abused and exploited for profit. it's inherently cruel, even if you personally dont view them as their own people as some (like me) do.

I'm sorry that you're disappointed. I thought I had been clear about my opinions on here but yes, I do support SeaWorld, just like I support every other AZA-accredited zoo and aquarium. I support their veterinarians and veterinary staff, people I've actually met or who have worked closely with many of my colleagues and mentors. I support their rescue teams, which have responded to over 40,000 individual marine animals in distress, and are currently one of only half a dozen facilities equipped to handle the Florida manatee unusual mortality event. I support their husbandry and training staff, folks who've made a career out of caring for animals and, like the trainers I currently work with, tirelessly advocating for their needs. I support their contributions to marine research, both through the parks and the independent Hubbs-SeaWorld Research Institute. I support the connection to the marine world that they provide children (and adults) like myself years ago, gifting them with a lifelong love for the ocean and its life.

At the moment, I'm completing a residential internship program with the medical team at a small marine park (not SeaWorld, but similar in many ways) as a complement to my ongoing education as a DVM student. I see and work with dolphins every day. You’re right, they are extremely intelligent. Each one is an individual, with his or her own distinct personality, likes and dislikes, best friends (human and dolphin), and favorite activities. Perhaps they are “people” in their own way, although from a scientific perspective I can’t anthropomorphize them to that extent. Their trainers are more intimately familiar with the dolphins’ moods and needs than the vast majority of people are with their own pets (speaking as a 7-year veteran of general practice and emergency vet hospitals), and every second of their work day revolves around the animals, be it enrichment, training, husbandry, diet prep, habitat maintenance or, yes, public presentations. Each dolphin has a specialized care plan, made for them by their own full-time veterinarian, to ensure they are always in peak body condition. They receive a full routine medical work-up (complete with bloodwork, fecal, urine, gastric, and chuff cytology) multiple time a year, far beyond what any domestic animal receives. Their diet consists of a wide variety of human-grade seafood, with each individual fish (hundreds of pounds a day) hand-checked by a trainer to ensure it has no defects. They are never, ever forced to participate in a session and usually happily do so, because exercising their minds and bodies is enriching for them. If not, no big deal, they will still get all the food they need.

About half of our dolphins are rescues, deemed non-releasable by the federal government (not the team who rehabbed them, or even the “higher ups” in aquarium/marine park management). These dolphins stranded when they were babies, too young to have learned what they needed from their mothers, or suffering from disabilites or chronic health conditions that would make survival in the wild impossible. Without “captivity,” they would be dead. Instead, I get to see them thrive every day, bonding with their trainers, playing with their dolphin friends, exploring their enrichment, and inspiring everyone who meets them. I’m sorry but no, I will never say these dolphins should be put to death or left to suffer an excrutiating fate in the wild. Not when I’ve seen the life they get to live instead.

An accredited “dolphin sanctaury” like you suggest, run by people with the proper training, resources, and (extensive) funding to care for these complex animals, does not exist. And if one did, it would be no different than any other accredited facility (many of which are “sea pen” habitats, which have their own pros and cons versus a traditional “tank” habitat) that is already open. There would still be training for husbandry, exercise, and enrichment. There would still be hand-fed diets. There would still be (nearly constant!) breeding behavior, just without any babies. And there would still be barriers keeping them from leaving although fun fact, the US Navy uses trained dolphins in open ocean missions and they always return to their human caregivers. The only thing missing would be the educational, inspirational experience aquariums give the public.

But don’t take my word for it. Last year, the Cetacean Welfare Study was published, the result of years of work by 43 different AZA and/or AMMPA-accredited institutes. It’s a collection of studies, the first of their kind, surveying the factors affecting welfare in managed cetaceans (mainly bottlenose dolphins but also Pacific white-sided dolphins and beluga whales), and oftentimes, it’s not what the general public might think. Both SeaWorld and my park were part of it.

Thanks for hearing me out. I don’t expect you to suddenly agree with me, but I hope you’ll try to understand. If you want to hear more of what I’ve said on this topic, please look at my #seaworld and #cetaceans tag.

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mbti-notes · 11 months

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Anon wrote: Hello, I am INTJ 34F, thank you in advance for patience towards my super long post. My life is fine so far at least on face of it. But I have gone through some hardships which are not visible to outside world easily.

I was victim of child neglect where my parents ignored me and gave more importance to my brother as he is male child. The ignorance was hard for me and my self esteem was hit badly. I was deep introvert and hard fast logical thinker. My social or physical abilities were not developed as I never had any friends to play or social setup to mingle. Also, i never felt any need for same. My parents never tried to help me see where I am failing and how I can improve. I used to immerse myself in books and daydream. I tried to reason with my parents at times but I was very straightforward so they saw it as blunt and it didn't end well. I used to do all things in daydream which I don't do in real life.

The only thing I had was, I was good in studies. So I think that became my identity as that was only thing where I can shine and get attention. But lack of skills in other areas had impact on my confidence. This continued in college as well as job. In college, people used to call me reserved and maybe dull. In job, we had teamwork and because of my introversion and non developed social skill, they started calling me like I have ego issue etc etc. I was independent, low self expression and mainly focusing on work, no much small talk.. all ended up my image being kind of dark. I don't know what I did wrong.

At that point, I wasn't aware about my personality development issue or that I am child neglect victim. I never gave deep thought to any of this then. I used to shine in work due to my technical abilities and used to think that people are either jealous of my achievement or they need just entertainment. I was too busy with my life as well because I had family and young kid, so it was battle of time.

I got to know about MBTI in lockdown and realized that,

I have never accepted any issue with my parents even to myself

I have ignored my health a lot while pulling career

I have never paid attention to other people as in their feeling etc

I did not build strong network at work

I am kind of blind to others strength because I value only intelligence too much

I went on to build life I want with such a focus that I totally missed on other thing. Somehow, money and career advancement became point of self esteem for me

The only good thing is, I am very open to people in my inner circle and they know me, value me, respect me

I wasn't self aware, did not handle my introversion properly. In order to open up to people, I have landed in awkward social situations and then gave up getting frustrated

There was huge gap between how I see myself and how others see me. I didn't know why this is happening

I have burned bridges with few people when they were open to have discussions

Now, I feel terrible. I miss people I have hurt or misbehaved. There are few career opportunities I have lost. I am not sure if this is sign of immature INTJ or something to do with my childhood or entirely different issue.

Once I knew MBTI, I researched and improved a lot. Now, I am far more balanced person. My husband and other close people are noticing change in me and in general, I can sense it myself. But, I am not able to let go past. It's like I am carrying it in my head that I was like this. I don't have any shame associated with it. I am ok with my past but I just want to live free and close that chapter in my head permanently.

There are few people who I really miss but now can not go back and make things right. I am having hard time accepting it. I keep on regretting myself like why I wasn't aware about all this little earlier

I would like to hear your thoughts as they help me clear my head

-----------------------

The topic of regretting past mistakes comes up often, search the relevant tags, like this post. It doesn't really matter "when" you learned, as long as you did eventually. If "when" matters so much to you, then perhaps you have some pridefulness issue to work through due to having an unrealistic image of what you "should" be. Unrealistic images are a common path to self-inflicted suffering.

You spend a lot of time punishing yourself for mistakes and not enough time appreciating how they allowed you to progress and grow. What would your life be without mistakes? Without them, you'd have far fewer opportunities to realize the truth of yourself. In other words, your perspective on mistakes is problematic. They should be embraced rather than derided.

People only do what they know. You can't know everything or be good at everything. Once you've learned what you didn't know, you ought to forgive yourself for the past ignorance. Whatever you imagine was the "perfect" way to handle things doesn't really exist. If you could've done better back then, you would've.

Take control of your mind: Let go of the imaginary scenarios you've created of the past or imaginary ideals of what you should've been and proceed with humility in facing up to the current state of your shortcomings, flaws, and weaknesses (requires Te). The process of living is experiencing and growing. Or do you believe it's about being born perfect out of the womb?

#intj #auxiliary te #fi loop #regret #past #forgiveness #making mistakes #ask

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pktearsoftazmily · 2 months

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It's been days since the surgery of his brotherly figure and his father, leaving Lucas to be more independent with his own self care needs. Not that he couldn't take care of himself, but it meant Lucas had to catch the public transport, which never frightened him. In fact, it gave the psychic more confidence to be more independent, help him see that he too, can survive like the others could. The more he ventured into the outside world, the less anxious he started to become.

He also had began to take better care of his health too, often carrying a face mask on his person in case he'd be around large crowds, for the sake of his poor immune system. Lucas wanted to not get sick easily any more to worry his parents, realising how much they cared about him through the hard times lately. It's his way of making sure none of them could be more stressed than they already were. Lucas is growing up now, so it's his responsibility to look after himself properly.

Ever since his grandfather, the Mayor of Utopia, had mentioned about strange activity in the sky, Lucas had been secretly doing some research on his mobile whenever he could, writing down anything that might give some clues over what the cause could be. He's enlisted the help of his trusty friends, and his brother too, though asked the three not to repeat anything to the limbless couple (or any of the found family) for now. Lucas is handling this his way.

Today, he's caught wind of a story of a town not far in the news. The article caught his attention, immediately pulling up the post to read it.

Strange Sightings Found in Belring Residents in the town of Belring have been reporting of unusual activity that have made them fear for their lives. Claims of flying saucers had been made to the local police. However, the police had ruled out that it's anything suspicious, telling the residences of Belring not to panic, and to "stay indoors during night time". One witness claims that they had an encounter with an alien-like creature that could not be explained during on their way home. They had just finished work late one Monday when they suddenly saw something flying in the air that looked strangely like a UFO. The witness also describes how they were shaken up by the encounter, saying they were alarmed when the UFO began to approach them. They started to run home in fright. "I couldn't believe it," they responded. "I thought I was going to die. I legit saw a f***ing UFO man. I couldn't believe it. I swear on my life it's a f***ing UFO."

Unusual flying activity over the sky. Oh, god, it's a bloody UFO! Had his grandfather been receiving reports of a UFO? Is this the cause of the activity?

Wasting no time, Lucas shares the news post with his friends, and brother, telling them to look at the article. It isn't long before he gets texts in the group chat. After a long talk, the four agree to visit Belring in private to investigate, with Lucas reminding them to keep this all a secret for now.

Nobody in the found family needed to know this. Not right now. If aliens are involved, then it's something only the four of them can handle. Lucas' family did not have psychic powers. Not like the four teenagers did.

So, Lucas states they need to come up with a game plan. Fast. They'd agree on a time and date to visit Belring; it also had to be at night to see the aliens.

Once everything had been finalised, Lucas closes the post, making sure nobody could find any traces of his search history in case any of his family manages to somehow trace any of the history.

#IC Update #captain laserhawk verse tag

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highpriestess13 · 7 months

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If you would like to book a reading with me, here’s the link ⬇️. If you’re unable to purchase from my website due to finances, you can message me and we can work out a plan. Please do keep in mind that these messages are for the collective, with that being said, not every message is going to resonate with you, if you’re feeling lost/ confused with a reading then more than likely the message/ reading isn’t for you & that’s alright! Take things with a grain of sugar! 😊

Spirit Guide Message!

You’re being encouraged to look at the bigger picture in your current situation, it’s time for you to put your best foot forward and step out of your comfort zone, it’s time to start facing your true north, look into chart and do research about where your north and south node is. I feel like you’ve been way too concerned with certain details in your life or situation that you’re facing, take time to breathe.. some of you could be needing to either do yoga or meditate because paying too much attention to the details can and will drive you insane and we don’t want that because your mental health is very important! I see you guys gaining or regaining your confidence and independence, I see you enjoying your newfound success. I do see evil eye hear or someone sending you negative energy to keep you stuck in your head or have you stressing and worrying. Protect yourself and your energy and also protect your dreams/ ideas too! If this is something you’ve been going through, know that you’re protected. There’s something that you’re leaving behind, I see you cutting something/ someone out of your life and you’re choosing your own life and new beginning. In love, someone you walked away from or walked away from you are deciding to take a leap of faith. There some restrictive energy here, and I feel like this is someone that’s wanting to control your mind in some way by keeping you stuck in something or making you feel like you’re stuck when you’re not.. 77 is your confirmation. I feel like someone is creating a false scenario. For others, this is you doing this so get out of your head and stop self sabotaging. Someone has an addiction to drinking and I’m also getting.. get your head out of the clouds! Reality is calling you!

#fypシ #tarotcommunity #tarot cards #tarot reading #tarot #fypage #tumblr fyp #tarot reader #daily tarot #pick a deck

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tirsynni · 2 years

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Ongoing from this rant because that entire situation and everything arround it continues to frustrate me.

In this specific case, the client failed to maintain employment, and it’s unknown how much of it was due to her and how much of it was because those around her failed her and enabled the negative behaviors/failed to provide appropriate support. It’ll probably remain unknown, because there is no policy in place to assess such situations. It is being dismissed as “it was just the client.” (IMO, assessments should always be mandatory to make sure nothing slips through the cracks.)

Previous post listed some of the ways the client was failed due to those around her not assessing her current supports and recognizing they needed adjustment to match the current situation. We’ll never know how much of that contributed to the failure.

But there was another side to it. The poisonous phrase from multiple people involved: “As a parent.”

No one is arguing that being a parent gives one specific insights and knowledge. However, despite the popular memes you see on Facebook, becoming a parent also doesn’t provide you with a medical degree or professional understanding regarding multiple situations. Thus, parents arguing that spanking is a good thing despite plenty of evidence pointing to otherwise and parents deciding not to vaccinate their children based on their independent research. When you raise a child, it doesn’t suddenly provide you with information and knowledge others need to go to school for years to learn and doesn’t provide you with information based on years of research. You don’t have a teaching license or medical degree. You just now have a child in your care.

In this case, the people responsible for many of the client’s needs and supports were her parents. There was no case manager or professional overseeing her and providing support. If so, I believe that person would have recommended an updated assessment long before I needed to suggest it. It would be the case manager’s job to do that. It didn’t occur to the parents at all. Why should it? They didn’t have the education or knowledge to recognize why it would be necessary!

The parents decided to take care of the client as independently as possible. Mental health and other appointments were independently managed and thus were largely disconnected from each other, lacking a unifying understanding of the situation and client. There was no agreement or communication among the parties working with her. From what I understand, there was no strong consistency, either, as shown by covid stopping her counseling appointments and the parents failing to look into alternatives.

To make matters worse, one of the professionals involved repeatedly informed me that she understands things “as a parent” and can communicate with the parents “as a fellow parent.” While this can increase empathy and positive communication, I believe this strengthened the parents’ convictions that as parents they had the abilities, knowledge, and skills necessary to independently care for their child’s needs. It lessened the need for professional support and strengthened the belief that as parents their insights were the most significant in understanding the client’s needs.

As parents, they loved and supported her. As parents, they didn’t understand her medication regime like a professional would and thus didn’t understand it needed changed. As parents, they didn’t recognize how counseling assisted her and how the lack of it contributed to the negative situation. As parents, they didn’t recognize which of her behaviors were not her disliking the situation but were symptoms of her diagnosis creating hurdles and that it was the hurdles she disliked. Just like other parents don’t recognize that, although they were spanked and it is normal for them, spanking their children is not helpful and will create long-term problems. Just like other parents are convinced that healthy eating and time in the outdoors is more effective in reducing illness than someone with a needle putting various chemicals in their child’s body. Loving and supporting does not provide this information, no matter how fiercely you do it.

The “as a parent” philosophy can be incredibly toxic. It enables parents to believe they have a better grasp of the situation than trained professionals, when in reality that lack of education and training can support poor decision making and create gaps in case simply because the parents would have no way of knowing those gaps existed. It can lead to emotion-based and biased decisions instead of decisions based on up-to-date information and what is actually needed. It can lead to an emphasis on tradition rather than the need for change, flexibility, and understanding. It can allow others to manipulate the parents because the parents don’t have the knowledge necessary to combat it. Most importantly, it can lead to the parents abusing and/or neglecting the person under their care.

As a parent, one needs to recognize that they don’t have all the facts and look into finding someone who has that information and can assist rather than doing it all on their own. It’s always “It takes a village” until someone recommends talking to the village doctor.

(Note for the person who will inevitably bitch about how doctors failed them: no, doctors are not perfect, yes, mistakes can be made, etc. Yes, we are all aware that sometimes doctors suck and can be bigots. Please don’t read everything on the ‘net and then complain about how it doesn’t apply 100% to your situation or how it isn’t universal. Thank you.)

(Bonus note: yes, social services, especially in the US, sucks sometimes, but that is unfortunately due to many people in power believing that social services is unnecessary and never requires funding or government support, thus resulting in overworked people, high turnover, and unqualified workers being hired. If you dislike it, remember to vote and push for more support for social service programs.)

#rant #social services #as a parent #i hate that line so much #and she says it all the time #one meeting i actually marked down how often she said it #you are a professional #why is your as a parent #more important than your experience #education #and training?#perhaps if there was more emphasis on the latter #and less on the former #then the client's failure wouldn't have been dismissed #especially so casually

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sophieinwonderland · 2 years

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"… or all the money I would ever need to enact my world domination plans?" what would you do if you succeeded in achieving world domination?

Ooh! Fun! 😃

I'm going to assume that I have achieved unlimited power in this scenario! The Supreme Empress of the Earth, answering to no one!

First, I would make sure to have my council and the highest officials be scientists rather than professional politicians. It's incredibly important that laws be driven by rationality and research, not blind human emotion.

One of the first things I would do is to end all discrimination by the State. There should be no country on the planet where people should have to fear for their lives or freedom because of race, gender, ethnicity, sexuality or mental health. I would also see laws in place to protect systems, specifically, and make it easier to go by whatever names they choose to go by.

I would stop punishing many victimless offenses, such as those involving drugs. However, I would majorly tax drug manufacturing and dealing so that they couldn't be sold super cheap by legal vendors. Organized crime would be crippled, but drugs wouldn't be anymore affordable. And money earned through these taxes could go towards drug treatment facilities.

I would completely overhaul the prison system to focus primarily on rehabilitation; not on punishment but on training people to become functioning members of society. I would get together the best psychologists on the planet to find the best ways to accomplish this task, and use different facilities as testing grounds to find what methods help reduce repeat offenses the best.

I would also not call them prisons anymore. To reflect their new purpose in society, they would be called "reprogramming centers." And if that name sounds creepy, then it's doing its job of making you not want to commit a crime, because no one wants to get sent away to something called a reprogramming center. Even if it's nowhere near as bad as prisons are.

There are many other things I would want to implement. A universal basic income. (Perhaps adjusted based on local economies.) Free medical and mental healthcare. Better funding for education in impoverished areas. Too many things to list here.

I would also give myself a massive salary for projects that I feel would be outside of the scope of the government. Those that, if done by the government directly, might be classified as propaganda. I would want my own corporation which would have someone else as its face, with its hands in a number of different sectors. Gaining a foothold in entertainment is a must to ensure the propagation of positive moral values, just as shows like Steven Universe and The Owl House today will be hugely beneficial to building an accepting population of children who will carry those values into adulthood. It's incredibly important to support diversity of all kinds in entertainment, normalizing those who would be "othered."

Encouraging creators to make more content about plural characters is one reason I make sure to reblog every post from @/pluralprompts. The more systems who write plural characters, the more they share that writing with others, the more normal we'll seem. Others are content with changing to suit the world. I would prefer to change the world to suit us.

As Supreme Empress, I would have the funds to purchase my own film and animation studios that I could use to influence the next generation. I would also put my hands into video games, books, and make sure to sponsor independent creators who supported positive values.

Finally, the biggest flaw with any benevolent dictatorship is that the dictator will die and be replaced by someone less benevolent. I would not like to have my work undone upon the moment of my death, so I would invest great sums into preventing that. Ideally, we would be able to upload our brain directly into a machine.

But failing that, perhaps we could build an AI that was advanced enough to copy my way of thinking of perfectly. It could... introject me, if you will. I would invest in multiple avenues of science to accomplish a way of immortalizing myself. My ultimate goal would be to, in order to prevent my utopia from falling into chaos or being controlled by those with less-benevolent motives, create a way to live on past the death of our physical body, transcending humanity entirely and becoming an immortal God-Empress that could guide the human race for millennia to come.

Because what's the point of dreaming if you aren't dreaming big?

#ask box

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puppyexpressions · 1 year

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5 Toy Breeds That Worry Vets the Most

Guest Post by Dr. Marty Becker

Let me say this up front: I love all dogs. Every single one I see in my practice brings a smile of joy to my face. But I often have concerns about certain small dog breeds, either because they may be prone to specific health problems or because they have reached such heights of popularity that mass production by puppy mills or careless breeders has put them at risk of overpopulating shelters instead of homes.

Because of this, there are some dogs I would like to see less of in my practice. Not because I think they’re bad — there’s no such thing as a “bad” dog in my book. Instead, I would like to see fewer of these types of dogs, and I would like them all to have better health and ample opportunities for loving, lifelong homes.

Lovable but Trouble

Teacup Cavalier King Charles Spaniel: You might be surprised to hear me say this — Cavaliers are wonderful little dogs with sweet temperaments. They easily capture the hearts of their owners, but it’s their own hearts that I worry about. Because of their limited gene pool, Cavaliers are prone to early onset of a common heart problem in dogs: mitral valve disease. Because of this, their life spans can be as short as six to 10 years. These dogs should live up to 14 years or more. Some of them do, but not enough. Veterinary researchers and breeders are seeking an answer to this health concern, but until they find one, I’d like to see this breed’s skyrocketing popularity come back down to Earth.

Teacup Chihuahua: The great thing about Chihuahuas is their long life spans. It’s not unusual for these tiny dogs with the ginormous personalities to live 15-plus years with regular wellness care. Some of them even live into their 20s. For a dedicated owner, that’s a huge bonus. But it worries me that so many of these entertaining but bossy little dogs end up in shelters. There are so many in states such as California and Arizona that they are often airlifted or trucked to other states, where they are less common and in higher demand. Until that problem is solved, I’d like to see fewer of them walk through the doors of my practice.

Teacup Yorkshire Terrier: The terrors, er, Terriers of the Toy Group, Yorkies are mischief makers who are full of themselves — and that’s saying a lot, given their minuscule size. I love their independent nature and their sense that they are as big as Great Danes, but they can have health and behavioral problems that get them into trouble. Among their health concerns are portosystemic shunts, luxating patellas and collapsing tracheae. They’re also easily injured because of their tiny size. Behavior wise, it’s all too easy to ignore house-training or training in general. That can turn what should be a smart, highly trainable, well-behaved dog into a little tyrant. These are all among the reasons that it’s not unusual to find Yorkies and Yorkie mixes available in shelters or through rescue groups. As a veterinarian and dog lover, I’d love to see fewer Yorkies, all with better health and good homes with people who will give them the combination of love and training they need to thrive.

Teacup Puggle: This popular hybrid, or designer, dog (a combination of a Pug and Beagle) has a lot going for him. For starters, he’s cute and sweet. But as a blend of two very different breeds, he can have some issues that may become prominent and problematic after the cute factor wears off. Take his shedding — please! Both Pugs and Beagles shed heavily. When you combine the two breeds into a single dog, you’re going to wind up with a shedder — and often, people don’t realize this before they get one. Another factor is size. It’s not unusual for Puggles to grow bigger than buyers expect. And they can have the breathing problems associated with Pugs, as well as the high energy level associated with Beagles. Those are all problems that can land them in shelters or with rescue groups, seeking a family who recognizes and understands their quirks.

Teacup anything: It’s easy to understand the appeal of teeny-tiny dogs. We humans are attracted to extremes, and the idea of a dog who fits into the palm of a hand is almost irresistible. But it must be resisted. Micro dogs weighing three pounds or less at adulthood are more prone to serious health problems and generally live shorter lives. It’s hard on them, and it’s hard on their families to lose them at an early age. There are plenty of small dogs who are healthy; let’s not encourage the breeding of tiny, unhealthy dogs simply so we can have bragging rights about whose dog is the smallest.

#teacup dogs #teacup puppy #teacupdog #teacupdogs #minidogs

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whentherewerebicycles · 2 years

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hello! prepare for a long chatty life update. I went out with friends last night and it was so nice wahh. then I slept nine hours and that was glorious too. turns out this week’s sleep trouble was just my usual pre-period insomnia and not my new magic sleeping meds failing me. phew!!! I took Pip to our new vet this morning for his annual checkup and he was such a sweet boy even through the indignity of many shots. 😭😭 I love my little dog so much. also when Pip sits his front paws point outwards in a way that makes him look like he’s posing, and today the vet techs were like ‘awww how sweet! you know that’s actually a genetic deformity, right?’ I was like ummm excuse me. this is the best dog who has ever lived and he is perfectly formed in every way so think carefully about how you describe his flawless & unique paws please!! anyway he is in excellent health and three different people independently praised him for being so lean & well-conditioned. I can’t wait for fall (and/or to get him to seattle) so we can resume his preferred 70 min walks instead of the 30 min forced marches we are limited to in the summer.

then I came home and started working my way through one of the books I bought on evidence-informed learning design in training contexts. it’s interesting so far! not a lot of new content yet but it’s kind of nice to go back to basics and resolidify my understanding of core concepts/frameworks. I feel like it’s making me a bit sleeeepy though so I might just do an hour each day instead of trying to power through. I have four weeks left before new job starts… I think I just want to read two or three of these fairly dense books so I go into the first month feeling like I have an understanding of how the L&D profession overlaps with/differs from the classroom pedagogy stuff I’m more familiar with. I also want to read more about the history and structure of my government agency so I have at least a rough mental framework to fit first-month new information into. THAT SAID as psyched as I am to get started on a New Project (tackling a new job lol) I need to remind myself to also enjoy this time and try to use it to really fully decompress from the year and job search stress. it’s okay to just let myself enjoy this month of very few responsibilities.

next week I need to reach out to my current boss to let her know that I accepted the position… and I need to do that sooner rather than later because they’re starting to process my security clearance and that involves interviewing my references. I hope she isn’t upset with me for kinda changing gears after we talked last, but I’m also reminding myself that it’s normal to change jobs and that I went above and beyond trying to make things work with them… they didn’t move fast enough to make it feasible for me and it’s okay for me to make decisions that prioritize my own long-term future (because academia sure as hell won’t do that for me!). I can’t decide if I hope the grant funds come through & they let me do it as a part-time position with support staff, or if I hope it doesn’t come through and my energy is just freed up to focus on the new job + creative projects. we will see what the universe decides.

we released the first two episodes of our hockey fandom podcast yesterday and have gotten a nice response so far! I am deep in planning/research mode for future episodes and might spend the rest of the afternoon working on that. I feel like my brain is a little bit too fried still to write short things or fully dive into my new long project (I need a bit more rest/recovery I think) so I’m gonna let myself continue taking a little break from writing and instead focus on building out this other project so it’s up and running by the time the job starts. ooh and I am also going to beta a friend’s fic this weekend—tonight or tomorrow tbd.

okay let’s see. going to drive to target now to pick up a curbside order and then I think I want to lie in bed doing nothing or maybe thinking a bit about podcast planning. I have this idea that if we can create like… a planning structure of some kind? a brainstorming and research template kinda thing? it’ll help organize and streamline our prerecording thinking so we can have deeper conversations in the actual recording session. I like the idea of designing a repeatable learning exercise that will make the planning process more seamless, so if we get really busy with real life stuff we won’t have to expend as much intellectual bandwidth on the prep & planning work each week. idk just something I am kicking around we’ll see. mmkay! if I go to target I will have cherries to eat 😍 so it is time to make the quick drive over.

#daily processing

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inkofamethyst · 1 year

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May 8, 2023

LAST WEEK. ONE FINAL WEEK OF UNDERGRAD.

Heh so remember the way I was supposed to do nothing this summer? Well, that lasted absolutely no time at all because I’ve accepted a TA gig for a few weeks out of the summer. Now, look, I’ve TA’d for this class twice before at this point, so it shouldn’t take up too much mental space. The gig is short enough that commuting and paying at the meter is less than half the price of a parking pass. Plus, my lease doesn’t end until the last day of the gig, should I need to use my apartment. And, most importantly, teaching has been fun for me! Getting more experience with it will be thoroughly welcomed! Besides, I’d’ve grown terribly bored doing nothing this summer anyway.

I have a lot of.. stuff to go through before moving. I need to figure out exactly what I want to bring with me to a place where I could be living for six or seven years. Beyond clothes and cookware, there’s books and my sewing stuff and honestly just figuring out what I should throw away from the past several years of living in or close to my home. And now that I don’t need to save notes from high school for my sibling (she never found them particularly useful anyway), I suppose those should go. Just... a lot of things I’ve been needlessly holding on to.

Preliminary summer goals: healthy haircare, sewing like a maniac, selling and donating and trashing things I don’t need anymore, packing, identifying strategies and systems for grad school success, binging a ton of shows, reading a ton of books. And resting. I thought I was maybe going to try to learn bass guitar this summer, but I think the transition to grad school is going to take up enough active brainpower that I might save that musical exploration for some other time. Maybe the summer after I finish classes/comps. When I shift into full-time research, I’m going to need to delineate work and home pretty clearly to manage my mental health, I’d imagine.

I’ve been thinking about high school a little bit recently, and I randomly remembered this one girl who auditioned for every musical and every play every single year and didn’t make the cut until her final year. I, honestly, want to be a lot more like her. That’s resilience. That’s knowing what you want. That’s weathering shame and disappointment repeatedly and not letting it affect you personally. That’s not basing your self-worth on someone else’s opinion.

Part of the reason I decided not to pursue theatre (I considered it with intermediate interest) was because I didn’t think it would be beneficial to my mental state to exist in an industry where my ability was constantly judged and compared (yes yes yes I know I know academia is quite similar in that regard, but my ~intelligence~ is separate from my “creative ability” in my mind, and while I value them both, I am more insecure in my identity as a creative). I knew myself quite well, and I don’t think I had(/have) what it took to survive (maybe one day). But knowing who you are and valuing yourself independent of what others have to say? I’m workin on it.

Granted. There is merit to knowing when an opportunity is simply not for you. The limit of unsuccessful attempts is different for everyone, but if the attempts aren’t harmful to your life in any way, I don’t see a reason why that limit cannot be extraordinarily large.

Also, the group project went well in stats. We got above the minimum grade I needed, so that’s one more A on the resume :) now I just need to worry about cell bio’s group project :/ (I’ve done my part, just waiting on others at this point [edit, a few days later: we submitted but it’s honestly not up to the standard I was hoping for and pushing for. literally if we’d met online for fifteen minutes synchronously I think we could’ve elevated the project significantly, but whatever, guess I’ve gotta wait and see])

Today I’m thankful for the pink lemonade I had today from the engineering building :) I don’t ever go in the engineering building (it’s nice up in there tho), but my photo-friend was right about this. It’s insanely sweet and I’m now suffering from a sugar-induced headache but they put their whole foot in that lemonade so I can’t be too mad.

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bookwyrminspiration · 2 years

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Hi! I saw you rb'd the post about autism and I rlly wanted to talk abt it! I don't live in the US, and therapists where i live are almost the same as you described. Idk if i have ADHD or Autism or something else entirely, but I do know there's something different from me than other people. I've known ever since I was little. I know my brain works differently, I see things differently, and I feel left out because of it. I relate to almost every obscure ADHD symptom (like i relate to the "i got distracted" but also the very specific "not everyone goes through that" ones).

I don't want to self diagnose because I'm nowhere near being an expert on neurodivergency, but I also know I'm different. Idk what to do because I talked to a therapist once about it (we didnt discuss it, i just mentioned it) and she said that if I've gotten this far (i'm 17) without a diagnosis and I've done fine, a diagnosis won't change that. I think that a diagnosis would 100% help because i would at least know for sure because rn i feel like i'm going crazy. Maybe everything I've been experiencing has just been the product of undealt with trauma, idk, but i rlly wish i knew for sure.

I imposter syndrome myself into thinking i'm actually just as normal as everyone else and am just thinking this becusde i want to think i'm "special". Which isn't true i'm 99% sure-

Sorry for the rant. I just dont know what to do :(

Hello, Nonsie! No need to apologize for the rant, I'm sorry you're in this situation. It absolutely sucks when therapists and other mental health professionals are like that. Sometimes it feels like they've made a decision about you already and are just tolerating you the rest of the time and dismissing everything else.

I've also been through the exact same thing with the "I know there's something different about me." I always chalked it up to me being "the gifted kid," but then I was different from all the other gifted kids as well. I didn't know what it was, so I instead turned to fiction and to stories. Especially those with magic and inhuman creatures, because I knew that whatever it was that made someone human, I didn't have it. So I saw myself instead in fairies and fae and as I got older, in monsters (I mean this in a good way). My point is that I think I understand the knowing you're different but not being able to put a finger on it experience. I often describe it as living in a bubble where I can see everyone else and they can see me, but I'm not with them. I'm separate even amongst everyone.

I will just say that if you don't think you're qualified to self-diagnose, I'd suggest looking into it more! Self-diagnoses are incredibly valid and are fairly accepted from what I've seen. Most people are very understanding about the process and about reasons why you might not be able to/not want to get an official diagnosis. I think almost all people who have diagnosed have also had the "I don't know enough to make this call" experience and then go on to look into it before doing so. They're generally not made lightly, instead made with the insight and reflection of weeks, months, years worth of work and research.

Also, I don't know how the rules work wherever you live, but it's possible that you'd be able to look into evaluations outside of your therapist if she is adamant about you not needing one. I know where I live I could find an evaluation location and submit the paperwork independently--though I think as a minor I'd need to include parent contact information, but then again maybe not. And that's also just where I am

You could also approach her or another therapist about it again and say that it's an avenue you'd like to explore even if it won't change much. Therapy is about you, so if you want something you're allowed to express that. One note I'd like to add is that I'd advise against relying on outside sources entirely for confirmation that your experiences aren't you "going crazy." That's not to say that an official diagnosis wouldn't be a relief or a breath of fresh air and a "finally! it was real!" That's an entirely understandable reason to want an evaluation or diagnosis, it's just that things don't always work perfectly and people can be wrong. So if you're basing your understanding entirely on someone else's assessment and they miss something, it can feel like a huge disappointment. And it's more likely when the system isn't friendly towards you.

I can tell you that you aren't making it up and that whatever you've experienced and been through, it is real and valid and you deserve answers about it. Whether those answers come from yourself or through treatment, I hope you find what you're looking for. I actually think a very common and relatable finding out you might be autistic/adhd/something else is obsessing over it and then convincing yourself you're making everything up and are actually normal and just suck at being a person.

I don't know if you want advice, but I think if I were in your situation (based on the knowledge I have) I'd look into it more. There are plenty of YouTube videos and online resources you can use to help figure things out, and if it's something you want then research what options are available in your area and what the requirements are (e.g. age/information/if you can do it alone or not). When I was first exploring all these possibilities, I started a thing in my notes app to keep track of different experiences that could potentially indicate or relate to something so I could look into it later, so maybe that could help!

I'm wishing you the best of luck in whatever comes next for you in this experience <33

#quil's queries #nonsie #autism #adhd #neurodiveristy #I don't know what other areas you might want to look into but if you wanted a few references for looking into autism #then I could share some #in terms of like. online information #different tests you can take (not official evaluations) to give you a sense #or if anyone else wants them :)#long post

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tallmantall · 2 months

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James Donaldson on Mental Health - 13 Ways to Boost Your Daughter's Self-Esteem

How to help girls build confidence based on what they can do, not what they look like Photo by Victoria Rain on Pexels.com Writer: Juliann Garey Clinical Experts: Mary Rooney, PhD , Catherine Steiner-Adair, EdD - 1. Model body acceptance - 2. Make your daughter media literate - 3. Don’t raise her as a “pleaser” - 4. Start team sports early - 5. Moms, don’t borrow your daughter’s clothes - 6. Direct your praise away from appearance - 7. Help her build skills that are independent of appearance - 8. Speak up about your daughter’s school curriculum - 9. Praise your daughter for her efforts rather than her performance - 10. Be careful about what magazines you have in the house - 11. Don’t trash talk other women - 12. Dads: Don’t treat your daughter like a damsel in distress - 13. Make sure she knows you love her no matter what In a culture saturated with digitally altered images of impossibly thin women, raising girls with high self-esteem can be daunting indeed. But as parents, you have great influence—both by what you say and what you do. Here’s some advice from experts Catherine Steiner-Adair, EdD, a clinical psychologist, school consultant and creator of the “Full of Ourselves,” a social-emotional program for girls, Anea Bogue, MA, author (9 Ways We Are Screwing Up Our Girls and How We Can Stop),and the creator of REALgirl, an empowerment program for girls, and Mary Rooney, PhD, a clinical psychologist who specializes in adolescents. 1. Model body acceptance Moms have a huge impact on their daughters’ body image. Don’t ask, “Do these jeans make me look fat?” or obsess out loud about food or put your appearance down. Avoid what Dr. Steiner-Adair calls the “morality of orality”—talking about food and yourself as “good” or “bad.” As in: I was bad today: I had pizza. So I’m not going to have dessert. 2. Make your daughter media literate “Watch TV with her and talk about what you see,” says Dr. Steiner-Adair. “Help her develop a critical eye through which to decode and filter media messages.” 3. Don’t raise her as a “pleaser” Encourage her to stand up for what she needs and wants. “Create opportunities for her to use her voice,” Bogue advises. “Ask ‘What do you want?’ Let her make a choice and then honor that choice.” 4. Start team sports early Research shows girls who play on teams have higher self-esteem. “There’s a very common correlation, in my experience,” says Bogue, “between girls who play team sports and girls who suffer less with low self-esteem because they are looking to other girls for their value, and within, as opposed to looking to boys for validation.” 5. Moms, don’t borrow your daughter’s clothes “You want to let her have her own style, her own look,” says Dr. Steiner-Adair. “Especially, and this is a really hard thing, if you have a mom who by society’s standards is prettier or thinner than her daughter.” 6. Direct your praise away from appearance “I think that we need to make a very conscious effort to balance our compliments about a girl’s appearance with compliments about who she is and what she DOES in the world,” says Bogue. “Challenge yourself to match every compliment you give about your daughter’s appearance with at least two compliments about something non-appearance based, and do the same for other girls who cross your path — your daughter’s friends, nieces, etc.” 7. Help her build skills that are independent of appearance “Get her involved in activities that build a sense of confidence, rather than focusing on looking good and acquiring things,” Dr. Rooney suggests. “Sports, theater, music, art. Anything really that can help girls express themselves through words or creativity or activity rather than through their appearance or what they’re carrying around.” 8. Speak up about your daughter’s school curriculum Does it include a female perspective? “Imagine if you were putting together a family history,” Bogue says, “and you only asked the men about their memories, about their perspective. Think about all of the information that would be lost.” #James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub 9. Praise your daughter for her efforts rather than her performance “Focus less on the outcome and more on efforts and the development of new skills,” says Dr. Rooney. Mastery is what builds confidence, and learning to tolerate failure fosters resilience. 10. Be careful about what magazines you have in the house “Research suggests,” says Steiner-Adair, “that after 15 minutes of looking at a fashion magazine, mood shifts from curiosity and enthusiasm to comparing yourself and putting yourself down.” 11. Don’t trash talk other women “And don’t let the boys and men in your household do it either,” adds Dr. Steiner-Adair. “Don’t let kids tease each other around food or looks. Do not let that go down in your house. It’s really harmful.” 12. Dads: Don’t treat your daughter like a damsel in distress “When fathers treat girls as though they are these fragile, helpless, little beings, ” Bogue says, “the message is, ‘Your role is to look good so a man will sweep in and save you.’ Instead, give her the opportunity and the tools—to change her own tire, to use her voice and speak up for herself, to play sports, to be able to brush herself off and get back up. I think it’s a good measure to say, ‘If I would do it with my son, I should be prepared to do it with my daughter.’” 13. Make sure she knows you love her no matter what She needs to know that you’ll love her “no matter how her appearance might change or how she dresses or how she might perform at something,” says Dr. Rooney. “Because even though kids are so reliant on their peers for feedback when they’re in their teens, what her parents think of her matters just as much as it ever did.” Photo by Victoria Rain on Pexels.com Read the full article

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moonlit-positivity · 3 months

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I am an adult and I am severely mentally ill and very dependent on my abusive parents as a result of the abuse they subjected me to as a child, teen, and young adult. I am trying my hardest to improve my mental health and learn adulthood so that I can get out of their house and live independently. My ultimate goal is to become 100% independent and then permanently cut them out of my life for good. Do you have any advice and positivity for adults who are still stuck with their abusers and trying to break free? Thanks ❤️

Hello friend ❤️‍🩹 thanks so much for reaching out. This is such a hard thing to live with, and I understand what you're going through so so so much. I'm so glad you're here. Let's talk resources.

The first thing you should know is that it is possible to leave. It's not easy, and there are many obstacles in the way. But it is possible. So please do not lose hope that you will never be able to get out and be free. You will. I guarantee you, your will for pure survival will absolutely get you out of there. My go to advice is to trust your instincts. There is no such thing as a perfect escape plan. Sometimes it's more like, if you see an opening you gotta take that mf and worry about the details later, you know? Each situation is different. Sometimes you can plan and plan, sometimes you've got people you can rely on for help, sometimes you've got sources to help get you out. But then sometimes it's a $20 bus ticket to a brand new city and a bag with just a few clothes and belongings and just the pure will to live. Either way, your life and your freedom is and always will be worth that effort to make it happen. So please don't lose hope.

The second thing to remember, is that none of this is your fault at all. Your mental health diagnosis is not something to be ashamed or abused over. Period. And I'm so very sorry that they've been mistreating you like this. It's not fair to you at all. You deserve far more than they will ever be able to give you. It's a very cruel reality that we live in. But you are allowed to mourn this heartache and betrayal and you are allowed to feel however you need to feel about this. All of your feelings are valid. So please remember to go easy on yourself while you figure it out.

Resources- please be safe while reading & researching:

- call your local DHHS office and explain your situation to them. Ask if there are any emergency housing programs that shelter adults escaping abusive situations. Ask if there are any group homes you can contact that may have any open availabilities. Ask for any other resources that may help, like possibly case management and local crisis units that may be able to direct you to anything helpful for escaping abuse. Even local charities & church organizations might be able to help, if you feel like you could use it don't hesitate to ask.

- since idk your specific financial situation, I'm gonna give some vague suggestions for all corners: if possible, open a secret bank account or start storing money in a secret location. There are a few online banking options these days. But if you work or get an income and your parents are monitoring your finances then there's a few options you can do here. One- avoid direct deposit if possible. Two- remove your parents from your accounts if possible (this is why I suggest getting a secret bank account, one you can control with no cosigner's to interfere or monitor). Three- make record of your parents actions & spending, & keep this hidden from them. Idk if you are already receiving government aid, but if they are your guardians for any aid on financial decisions then having a list of their spending choices & other abuses of you will help you dispute them & get them removed off your case. Four- take small amounts at a time and store them separately and hidden from your parents. Five- if you feel like you can trust your employers, let them know what you're dealing with. Oftentimes they can help.

- gather any and all allies you can think of. Friends, co workers, friends of friends, if you think they can be trusted to help you then start calling around and letting them know what you're dealing with. Ask if they are willing to help you find temporary shelter while you figure something else out. Or provide transportation & moving help. Or can help with finances. Any and all help is crucial.

- do not let your parents know what you're doing. Stay safe. Keep your browsers history wiped, keep your phone texts and contacts wiped/changed/locked if possible, keep yourself as safe as possible.

- if you can, grab or make copies of your legal documents. Or even just snap photos of them, but make sure they're good clear photos. Your birth certificate, your ID card, & your SSN are the most crucial.

- this one is for once you get out, but start looking into food stamps, section 8, & disability if that's something you already don't have. I know there's a stigma in society around using government aid, but in these crucial moments do not let some words and ideologies of privileged ableists stop you from getting sources you actually need and things that will 100% help you find a way through this mess. If it helps, it helps. Period. This isn't time for The Hiltons, you know? This is survival. This is "do what you can to get out of this shit." These sources are gonna be the difference between you being sheltered and you living in a shed. And some of these sources take years to kick in, so the sooner you get applied the sooner those wait lists go by.

- if it comes down to it, pack light. I know it sucks to just uproot your entire life and start over. But material possessions can be replaced. Your life can't be replaced. You can get tons of free clothes from local charities and supports, and there's also things like FB marketplace where people list free things all the time. Anything materialistic you have to leave behind, just know some day you can and you will reclaim it again. This isn't your fault, and you don't deserve to have to go through this. But if it came down between your life and a 60" smart TV, you know? Sometimes you gotta make some really hard and tough decisions, and this could be one of them.

- my last piece of advice, again, trust your instincts. You know your situation better than anyone. If you think any of these things might help you out, then just remember to be as safe and inconspicuous as possible and cover your tracks. But if you feel like none of this is realistic to what you're going through, then that is absolutely 100% equally as valid and I'm so very sorry for what you're dealing with. Most of these tips rely heavily on help from outside sources to get out, and I know from firsthand experience that's not always the best case scenario either. But in my experiences, even the ugliest escape route is still an escape. Your freedom is absolutely worth fighting for.

Take care, and I hope this might help 🌸

#trauma #child abuse #escaping abuse #adult children of abuse

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