I wish I could just jump in and swim with them! #maui #dolphin (at West Maui) https://www.instagram.com/p/COt1MzmAVVa/?igshid=y5n72x8cca5n
heres an entry for a dtiys from Instagram, just thought I’d post it here lol
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Can I get a Bisexual stimboard with a galaxy theme with slimes and stim toys?
Thanks in advance! 💜
here you go! sorry i couldn’t fit the galaxy theme but there should be enough of the other stuff :)
💕 💕 💕 💟 💟 💟 💙 💙 💙
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Just wanted to say hi :) I hope you've been doing well.
Oh man, hey, it’s been like years since we’ve actually talked. Thanks! I hope the same for you. c: >
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Sarah picked up the dog tags, knowing from a few friends who served how to read them.
She did a double take
32...Bucky was drafted? They ended the draft back in the 70s she thought. Bucky didn’t look much older than 30. Then she read the name.
James B. Barnes.
She’d heard that name before, Barnes, years ago. She couldn’t remember where though. Then it hit her.
Her great grandmother’s maiden name was barnes.
Trying to keep her face even she looked back at Bucky.
“What war are these from?”
((I know my marvel knowledge))
Shit, he hadn't thought she'd think anything of them. He also knew he was a terrible liar and he grabbed his tea to help hide his face, "Dunno. They belong to someone who's long dead. Never said they were mine." That wasn't a huge lie. Bucky didn't see himself as James Barnes or even Bucky. He was a mere shadow, fragments left over of a man buried deep in his memories.
"Probably a relation or just... Something."
Sarah gave a small laugh. “I’ve gotten noise complaints any time I try to sing. Damn walls”
She noticed the dog tags and smiled a little. “My great grandfather served in WW2. Never got to meet him though. Did you serve?”
Neighbours we're a nightmare; it was why he avoided them. At her question, he stopped fiddling with the tags and opened his mouth to reply before shutting it again.
Her great grandfather?
Shit, he really was old. "I... Yes?" He didn't have to specify which war, he'd been in quite a few to be honest. Unsure why, Bucky slid the tags over to her. The name James B Barnes didn't have to prove they weren't a relatives.
Sarah have a small smile that he remembered something, no matter what it was.
“Music helps me connect. Certain songs take me back to different memories, that and sometimes listening to sad music makes me feel less alone sometimes.”
She looked down at her hands. “Probably sounds pathetic but it helps”
"I used to love music." Then he didn't have it, wasn't allowed it, for so long that when he heard it on a car radio, or leaking out of someone's headphones or running through a PA system, it was almost foreign to him. Noise.
"If it helps you, it can't be that pathetic..." He still had the dog tags in his hands, the leather of his gloves rubbing over the raised bumps of worn letters. He had found them at the old base, along with a barely-there file of himself. "I have a record player in my apartment but the walls are so thin the neighbours complain."
“Yeah, yeah I sing. Anything really, though I’m not a huge fan of pop music. I used to sing opera and do musical theatre too. But my favorite songs tend to be softer, slower music. Sadder sometimes too. You were saying you liked 40s music. I’m not overly familiar with it but I’m sure I’d love it.”
Oh, she could sing sing. He had thought she meant karaoke or something. "Frankie Carle was pretty good at the time. He had this cute dame who would sing sometimes. He was more a crooner, once he started it was almost guaranteed the girl you were dancing with was gonna -" That was a really specific memory and he paused, grabbing his pen and quickly writing in the notebook before he lost it.
Bu the time he was done, less than a minute, the memory was fuzzy. "Sorry, I thought of something. But yeah... I like that music best."
Sarah had noticed him space out and tried to get his attention bu saying his name a few times. Her words didn’t seem to reach his ears.
Not until the owner had come over and brought him back.
Before she could ask if he was okay, he began talking about Steve again.
...been a pain in the ass since he could walk? What?
Also why’d she call him James?
She shook the thought from her mind. There was no way he could’ve known him before the serum. He’d be 100 years old.
He put down a leaflet. “I’m just tired,” he said. Sarah replaced the confusion on her face with concern and nodded her head. “It’s ok, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. Do you wanna take a break, I could talk about...something, if you want?”
He'd barely started.
Bucky grabbed his backpack, taking out a few more, older, clippings and a battered hair of dog tags. "Sounds like an idea..." He glanced up at her almost curiously, "You said you sang... What do you sing?"
Sarah noticed he seemed to be getting agitated and decided that was enough questions.
“Hey it’s okay. You don’t have to know right now”
She tried to push back the thought in her head that told her that Captain America has almost never been in trouble, not with the Avengers. Least not since before the serum but Bucky was her age. She shook the thought from her head.
“Sounds like you really cared about him. That’s all that matters right now, yeah?”
"I don't know if-" he took a breath, lowering his voice, not that he ever spoke too loud, but he couldn't have an episode in the cafe. "I don't know if I cared about him at all, whether we were friends or if he was just a..." A mission.
Even just thinking the word made his eyes deaden and the pen dropped from his fingers. It was at that point a tray was brought over with tea on it, "James, you're spacing out." The old woman stroked his shoulder gently and went back to the counter.
"Sorry," he mumbled as he came back to the present. "Something about him just... I want to remember, but I also want to punch him in his dumb face. Been a pain in the ass since he could walk." Pushing his hair behind his ear, he grabbed a leaflet and opened it up, reading the Russian quickly then discarding it - it wasn't helpful. "I'm just tired."
Sarah tried to refrain from furrowing her eyebrows. Stupid was not the first adjective she would have used, but he seemed to speak like he know him, not just knew of him.
She’d also never heard someone refer to him as Stevie.
“Were...were you guys close? You don’t - you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”
She was really worried that she would make him uncomfortable.
Picking up the paper, Bucky stared at the image, eyebrows furrowing as flashes of memory rushed through his brain. A scrawny blonde kid fighting with the schoolyard bully, in the middle of an asthma attack and bleeding from being hit in the nose. Then another, the same boy but in his teens and starting a brawl outside the cinema. "I think... I think I tried to keep his dumb ass out of trouble. I don't think I was good at it."
An odd pressure built up in his left temple and he put the image down, the end of the pen now between his teeth as he squeezed his eyes shut.
Sarah settled down across from Bucky, looking at the clippings he had pulled out.
Captain America? I thought he was working on his memory, what could -
Then she remembered. Steve Rogers. How could Bucky know Captain America?
“Do you, uh...is that the Steve you mentioned yesterday?” She said, worrying it was too direct of a question. She hoped he wouldn’t get defensive and leave again.
He tapped the pen on the table lightly, thinking about his answer and then nodding, "That's Stevie - uh, Steve. Yeah."
Bucky looked at the clipping, frowning at the familiar face, searching for and scars he might have left from beating the blonde half to death, "He's... He's really stupid."
oversharing with bia 😎😎🥳
i am praying for a lilac spring for you all my friends
may is la season of flower fairies, strawberry lemonade, muddy knees, befriending tree spirits, popsicle stained mouths, cloud watching, picnics on the beach, running barefoot on morning dew grass, bird sightings, and tickling tadpoles ♡
im hope ya make it magical! bia been trying...trying is hard :c bia no give up! is hard to soak up everyone's emotions on top of mine own but earth angel bia do not give up!!! 🌀
okay okay!! happy note! last night i'm dream i was sitting on back of a sparkly white sheep so so fluffy that i feel like i'm riding a cloud! an when she jump we go so high we go over la moon and into the milky way!! i'm saw the deep blue space whales larger than a planet!!! an the star girls dancing round and round and round so fast they look like they are twinkling a bajillion rainbow colors across the sky
no wonder im woke up berry excited for bed tonight!! i'm hope today is gentle and kind acause no mama lacause she work extra extra this week so we go on vacation next week!! woohoo!!!! we go to forks washington again la my favorite!!!!!! bia love to see jacob blacks house so what? so what bia like twilight!! an an each time we go is berry fun and nummy!!bia go to ocean!! bia look for orca whales an merfolk!! bia bonfire beach!! last time bia find a jelly fish and beautiful shells!! and and swim in la most blue water!!! an an bia bia an bia an builla samdcastle!! bia ride her car on a boat to get to island!! same island dove cameron is from!!!!! so so crazy huh?!?! bia be close to lady aphrodite!! happy times!!! happy start to birfday!! when we come home a forks we go to any museum bia like and and explore round my city seattle!!! i am so excited!!! wish i'm have friends to come with cause too fun!!!!!!!! i'm just gotta share!! i'm can't hold in my happy!!!!! two year go my birthday we go to a cat cafe and the science museum was okay fun but bia was berry sick so not too much :( had to hospital an get icky tubed again that i'm not like!!!!! and an last year dumb covid makes me miss my harry styles concerts in tacoma and las vegas an my family trip to costa rica 🇨🇷 so i'm gotta wait this year!! but i was blue to miss it but berry exciting berry exciting!! but i'm no good at wait so i'm just forget until the times come!!!! i'm can't wait to show you friends my pictures!!! i'm hope it not like my family trip hawai'i 2019 lacause i cried everyday an bad dad tried to sell my cat and i got overstimulated in a submerged submarine an made me have panic attack at 110 feet down!! but also im made friend with a dolphin!! and ride a jet ski! (a picture i took on the sub before i got feelin icky, and me n la dolphin!)
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Sarah sighed a little, relieved. It was also the first time she’d seen him smile. It was nice.
Memory loss. That probably had more to it, but not a lot of non-traumatic things cause memory loss. Still, she was curious.
“Has it been helping?”
"No." He heaved a sigh, opening the cafe door for her and nodding at the couple who were serving a woman and her toddler.
They would get to him when they were done. Bucky settled at his usual tabled and pulled out two notebooks, a pen he had chewed to within an inch of it's life and several new newspaper clippings. One of them was a headline of Captain America saving orphans or puppies or something that Bucky had rolled his eyes at.
Photo by Sadri Payet
Sarah nodded though she wanted to ask more. Was it more of a journal, was he writing a memoir..? It wasn’t her business.
Not wanting to sound rude but not knowing what to say, she said “that’s really cool”
Then she wanted the ground to swallow her. Why did she say that? That was weird, what if he’s writing about something traumatic?
“I mean...it’s cool...to have a story to tell”
Somehow that was worse.
“I write too, sometimes. More so stories but I base it off of different experiences I’ve had”
Maybe she should just go back to her apartment...
Bucky glanced back at her, a small grin cracking his serious face, eyes crinkling just a little. It was brief, he found her mortification vaguely amusing and he knew that feeling.
"The pavements here are pretty strong, I hope they'll swallow me up all the time, but it never happens." He supposed he could help her out of the hole she had dug herself into. "I lost my memories. I write to try and figure it out... Some of mine might just be stories I made up."
Sarah followed after him, noticing how on edge he was. She kept her distance, not wanting to spook him by getting too close or accidentally brushing against him.
Who was he worried about? Was it this Steve person he had mentioned yesterday? Should she ask?
“What are you writing about?”
He considered not replying.
But those pesky manners, the ones he thinks his Mother drilled into his skull his whole life, resurfaced and he tried to force the tension out of his voice by u clenching his jaw. "I'm writing about me."
I'm going great, thanks for asking ^^ 🐬
Awesome, I’m glad <3
Hey hey, how are you? 🐬
Hello! I’m doing alright, a bit stressed, but dealing with it haha.
How are you today?