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James Donaldson on Mental Health - How do I talk to my child about sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression?

Big Changes and Challenges Learn how to create a safe space for your child to feel comfortable asking questions and expressing their feelings about sexual orientation, gender identity, and gender expression. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ocKoicW0Vas&ab_channel=HappilyFamily Read the full article

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tallmantall · 16 hours

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#Anxiety #Child #Children #GenderExpression #GenderIdentity #JamesDonaldson #JamesDonaldsonnotes:Welcometothe“nextchapter”ofmylife…beingavoiceandanadvocateformentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention #JamesDonaldsonMentalHealth #JamesDonaldsononMentalHealth #MentalChallenges #MentalHealth #MentalHealthProfessionals #MentalHealthStigma #MentalIllness #MentalIssues #Sexualorientation #YourGiftofLife #YourGiftofLife.org #YourGiftofLifeFoundation

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tallmantall · 2 days

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James Donaldson on Mental Health - Here’s why we need to talk about the suicide-debt link

Miriam Bell Tougher economic times, and worries over financial difficulties and debt, adds to the pressure on people’s mental health. There is a link between financial debt, mental health difficulties, and suicide, but most people do not want to talk about it, a visiting UK debt expert says. Increasing numbers of people in many countries are experiencing mental illness. In New Zealand, almost one in two people (47%) will experience mental illness or distress in their lifetime, according to the Mental Health Foundation. Tougher economic times do not help as financial concerns, and worries over debt, adds to the pressure on people’s mental health. With New Zealand officially in recession, regular reports of job cuts, and the ongoing impact of higher interest rates, debt is only likely to grow. UK debt industry leader Steve Coppard, who is currently in New Zealand, says that is a concern as the connection between debt and mental health conditions is well established. One in four adults will have a mental health problem at some point in their life, research from the Royal College of Psychiatrists in the UK shows, he says. It also shows one in two, or 50% of, adults with debts have a mental health condition, and one in four people with a mental health problem is in debt. Money & Mental Health Policy Institute research found that while there is rarely one single factor that drives people to take their own life, long-term financial difficulties can drive feelings associated with suicidality by undermining resilience, he says. UK debt expert Steve Coppard says people do not like to talk about debt, and that needs to change. The institute’s research suggests that over 420,000 people in problem debt consider taking their own life in England each year, and more than 100,000 people in debt actually attempt suicide. “The likelihood of a mental health condition clearing up is less likely if someone is in debt, and yet a Yougov poll on Taboo Topics found that only 22% of people are happy to talk about their debt,” he says. “There is shame that goes with debt. People think it is all their fault, and that they are all alone, and they often dig themselves in deeper before they start trying to get out of it.” Coppard, who is group director debt policy and strategy at Arum, says that has to change, and the debt collection industry has a role to play in that. He has a profound understanding of debt, and what it means. Not only has he worked in the debt collection industry for nearly 25 years, but he has personal experience of it, due to the fallout from a bad relationship break up many years ago. He is also the founder of In Debt For Life, which provides debt advice and guidance to the industry, and education to the public, and is visiting New Zealand to work with debt-recovery business DebtManagers. In the UK, there has been a concentrated 10 year campaign around mental health issues, and that has had an impact, with the Yougov poll showing 40% of people will talk about their mental health, Coppard says. “That’s led to more recognition of the link between mental health and debt. Doctors now ask about financial health, and refer people for financial advice, because they see people present with poor mental health because of debt.” For his industry, it has instigated a step change in how debt collection is managed, and the way debt recovery companies work with their customers, he says. Twenty years ago, collection was king in debt outcomes, but the industry has evolved, Steve Coppard says. “When I first started in the VAT debt department of Customs & Excise, I was good at it because I was good at being argumentative, which is what was expected of you 20 years ago when collection was king in debt outcomes. “But over the years, I realized that outcomes should be about debt solutions, rather than debt collection, and that it is all about getting people out of debt, instead of debt out of people.” That means adopting a balanced approach to debt management which involves fair outcomes for those who owe it and for those who own it, he says. “People do deserve to get paid, and you also can’t disincentivize the people who aren’t in debt, and pay their bills, by wiping debt. But it is not a numbers game, it is a people game. “At the same time, it is not just poor debt collection practices, like robo-collection, that can have a negative impact on people’s mental health. “The fear and anxiety associated with having debt hanging over you, and it accumulating over time, can get worse if nothing is done to mitigate the debt.” Coppard advocates that debt management should be based around three pillars. They are that repayment plans should be affordable, free debt advice should be signposted, and that any barriers which should be addressed before talking about debt need to be identified in a timely manner. “Processes need to support this. At Just, our agents use a doorstop vulnerability toolkit to assess whether it is suitable to continue a visit, and we have an informal service to give people breathing space on debt. “Agents are not qualified to address barriers beyond debt, but we have mature, empathetic agents who have the tools to point people towards services which can help, such as free mental health support, for example.” While the debt industry is different to the one he joined two decades ago, and has evolved into a more customer-service focused industry, it still needs better processes in place to ensure no harm is caused, he says. #James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub The debt industry in New Zealand can learn from overseas best practice, Debt Managers’ Mark Francis says. “In the UK, the industry has campaigned around this, and while the narrative is not yet where it needs to be, it is moving in the right direction. “We also need more public education around debt, and we need to talk to customers in the medium that best suits them. “But until we have more people like me emphasizing that it is OK to talk about debt, because it is easy for life to get on top of you and for financial issues to snowball, the stigma around it will remain.” Debt Managers general manager Mark Francis says if the Money & Mental Health Policy Institute research is applied to New Zealand, and all else is equal, it suggests around 10,000 people annually will think about attempting suicide due to debt. That is why there needs to be a more concerted focus on best practice in the debt industry here, and why he is looking overseas to learn more, he says. “While the UK is ahead of New Zealand in this space in many ways, New Zealand is on the cusp of change, and we are on a course to make debt management more fair and ethical.” He says while there is currently no New Zealand data similar to the UK data, he understands there is research in the works. Read the full article

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tallmantall · 2 days

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James Donaldson on Mental Health - 'Alcohol can exacerbate underlying mental health issues': Alcohol use linked to suicide and self-harm, studies find

The study showed that — of people who took their own lives in Cork for whom toxicology reports are available — 50.8% of people under 25 years, 48% of those aged 25 to 54, and 24.1% of those aged 55 or over had alcohol in their system. AMY CAMPBELL ALMOST half of people who died by suicide in Cork had alcohol in their system at the time, a newly published report by the Health Research Board shows. The report, titled ‘Alcohol: availability, affordability, related harm, and policy in Ireland’, published yesterday, looks at the link between suicide and alcohol. It found that younger people who took their own life were more likely to have alcohol in their system. The study showed that — of people who took their own lives in Cork for whom toxicology reports are available — 50.8% of people under 25 years, 48% of those aged 25 to 54, and 24.1% of those aged 55 or over had alcohol in their system. One person affected by the issue, who wished to remain anonymous, told The Echo: “In the end, my breaking point was something very small, but I had been drinking for days and was beginning to sober up and everything I had to do that day just seemed impossible. “At the time, I didn’t see another way out. I knew I couldn’t continue drinking the way I was or I was going to lose my job, my home, and all my family and friends.” “I hadn’t felt happiness when I was sober in a long time, so I didn’t want to live without alcohol, but I knew it couldn’t go on like this much longer either, I knew that there was even more pain in the future if I did,” they said. #James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub “Luckily, I did not succeed in taking my own life, and it served as something of a wake-up call, though I had a difficult few months still to face after that, I emerged from it and haven’t had a drink in over a year. “The dark thoughts went away when I stopped drinking, I haven’t thought about suicide once since getting sober, and before it was a constant thought, it was always in the back of my head as a last resort in case things got too bad, it was almost comforting. “Now, I see how messed up that thinking was.” The report by the Health Research Board cites a study which examined 307 cases of suicide that had occurred in Cork, where toxicology was available for 298 of the 307 cases. In 141 of those cases, alcohol was detected in the toxicology, with young people far more likely to have consumed alcohol prior to their deaths. The study showed that among the 298 cases, 50.8% of people under 25 years, 48% of people aged between 25 and 54, and 24.1% of those aged 55 or over had alcohol in their system. It also showed that where the information was available, a history of alcohol or other drug abuse was noted in 61% of the suicide cases. Mick Devine – Clinical Director of Tabor Group, who oversees two alcohol treatment centres in Cork, told The Echo: "Studies have shown that individuals struggling with alcohol abuse or dependence are at a significantly higher risk of suicidal thoughts and behaviors compared to the general population. "Alcohol can exacerbate underlying mental health issues such as depression and anxiety, which are major contributors to suicidal ideation. "It's important to note that while alcohol can significantly elevate the risk of suicidal ideation and attempts, not everyone who struggles with alcohol use will experience suicidal thoughts. "However, addressing alcohol misuse is crucial in suicide prevention efforts, as reducing alcohol consumption can alleviate some of the risk factors associated with suicidal behavior and improve overall mental health and well-being." A link between alcohol and self-harm was also found in another study on Cork in the same report, which examined 8,145 cases of emergency department presentations of self-harm in the county. It found that “alcohol was involved in 21% of the self-harm presentations, although the study authors noted an under-recording of alcohol use in case notes”, meaning that the figure is potentially higher. “It is common for people to drink to try to relieve the symptoms of poor mental health, but drinking can also lead to poor mental health,” notes the report. “Alcohol is a depressant; it causes chemical changes in the brain and can lead to anger, depression, or anxiety. “It also affects the brain by slowing down the processing of information, making it more difficult to make logical decisions.” Read the full article

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tallmantall · 3 days

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tallmantall · 4 days

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James Donaldson on Mental Health - How and when do I talk to my kids about sex, consent, and safety?

Big Changes and Challenges When it comes to sex and consent, you can help your child build healthy relationships and guide them toward making safe decisions. Learn more about being a bridge to good information. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnkeRA_Xth0&ab_channel=ChildMindInstitute Read the full article

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tallmantall · 4 days

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tallmantall · 5 days

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James Donaldson on Mental Health - Youth mental health and happiness are worsening, new report shows

BY ALEXIS BELL CHARLOTTE, N.C. — Happiness in young people in the United States is falling, according to the 2024 World Happiness Report. What You Need To Know Youth mental health in the U.S. fell by twice as much as older adults over about a 12-year period. Mental health professionals say parents should check in with their children daily and be the experts on their child's behavior and health The Alexander Youth Network says it sees the impacts of worsening mental health on young people in North Carolina and across the country The United States ranks 10th in happiness out of 143 countries for people 60 and older. It ranks 62nd in happiness out of 143 countries for people 30 and younger. When comparing the numbers taken from 2006-10 to those taken in 2021-23, happiness fell by twice as much in young people as it did in older people in the United States, Canada, Australia and New Zealand. Mental health professionals in North Carolina say they are seeing the impacts of increasing mental health issues in youth. The Alexander Youth Network has campuses in Greensboro and Charlotte, serving children 5 to 17 years old. The nonprofit offers facility-based crisis care, residential treatment and day treatment. Ashley Sparks is the executive director of the Child and Adolescent Facility-Based Crisis Center in Greensboro. She says she is seeing more 7- to 10-year-olds who are having suicidal thoughts and behaviors. "We talk a lot about social media and that instant access. We weren't really designed to carry the weight of the judgments and opinions of everyone around us," Sparks said. "It used to just be your family and a handful of friends, but I think now with social media that's at your fingertips." Sparks says parents should monitor their children's interactions on social media and check in with them daily. She says consistently sharing good and bad news with each other will make children more likely to speak up when something is bothering them. #James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub Alexander Youth Network's Psychiatric Residential Treatment Facility in Charlotte houses 41 students for about four months at a time. Executive Director Xavier Dunbar says while their beds consistently stay full, they are seeing an increase in the levels of anxiety and depression their patients are experiencing. "The behaviors we are going to see are going to be verbal aggression, physical aggression, property destruction, suicide ideation," Dunbar said. "Our job is to get those children stabilized and develop coping skills to be able to transition back down to a lower level of care." Dunbar says he has done mental health work for 20 years. "It's important for them to understand that while they may have experienced some adverse childhood experiences, there are adults and other individuals around that care, that want to help," Dunbar said. Dunbar says they are there to provide support, and they rely on parents to be the expert on their children. Read the full article

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tallmantall · 5 days

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tallmantall · 6 days

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James Donaldson on Mental Health - How do I promote my child’s healthy use of technology?

Big Changes and Challenges Expert advice on how to find a good balance between staying connected via technology and ensuring safety in the digital world. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t1axo8Sz3_g&ab_channel=ChildMindInstitute Read the full article

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tallmantall · 6 days

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#Anxiety #CelebratingYourGiftofLife #Child #ChildMindInstitute #Depression #IPhone #JamesDonaldson #JamesDonaldsonnotes:Welcometothe“nextchapter”ofmylife…beingavoiceandanadvocateformentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention #JamesDonaldsonMentalHealth #JamesDonaldsononMentalHealth #MentalChallenges #MentalHealth #MentalHealthProfessionals #MentalHealthStigma #MentalIllness #MentalIssues #YourGiftofLife #YourGiftofLife.org #YourGiftofLifeFoundation

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tallmantall · 7 days

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James Donaldson on Mental Health - Managing Stress

Everyone experiences stress. Sometimes it can help you focus and get the task at hand done. But when stress is frequent and intense, it can strain your body and make it impossible to function. Finding effective ways to deal is crucial to living well. How Stress Affects You Stress affects your entire body, mentally as well as physically. Some common signs include: - Headaches - Trouble sleeping - Jaw pain - Changes in appetite - Frequent mood swings - Difficulty concentrating - Feeling overwhelmed When experiencing long-term stress, your brain is exposed to increased levels of a hormone called cortisol. This exposure weakens your immune system, making it easier for you to get sick. Stress can contribute to worsening symptoms of your mental illness. For example, in schizophrenia, it can encourage hallucinations and delusions, while in bipolar disorder, it can trigger episodes of both mania and depression. Knowing what situations cause it is the first step in coping with this very common experience. When You Are Most Vulnerable To Stress People are most susceptible to stress when they are: - Not getting enough sleep - Not having a network of support - Experiencing a major life change such as moving, the death of a loved one, starting a new job, having a child or getting married - Experiencing poor physical health - Not eating well Everyone has his own threshold. Certain things that may upset you out might not even make one of your friends raise an eyebrow. Some people are affected when they experience large crowds and noisy environments, while others react to silence and free time. #James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub Ways To Reduce Stress Developing a personalized approach to reducing stress can help you manage your mental health condition and improve your quality of life. Once you've learned what your triggers are, experiment with coping strategies. Some common ones include: - Accept your needs. Recognize what your triggers are. What situations make you feel physically and mentally agitated? Once you know this, you can avoid them when it's reasonable to, and to cope when you can't. - Manage your time. Prioritizing your activities can help you use your time well. Making a day-to-day schedule helps ensure you don't feel overwhelmed by everyday tasks and deadlines. - Practice relaxation. Deep breathing, meditation and progressive muscle relaxation are good ways to calm yourself. Taking a break to refocus can have benefits beyond the immediate moment. - Exercise daily. Schedule time to walk outside, bike or join a dance class. Whatever you do, make sure it's fun. Daily exercise naturally produces stress-relieving hormones in your body and improves your overall physical health. - Set aside time for yourself. Schedule something that makes you feel good. It might be reading a book, go to the movies, get a massage or take your dog for a walk. - Eat well. Eating unprocessed foods, like whole grains, vegetables, and fresh fruit is the foundation for a healthy body and mind. Eating well can also help stabilize your mood. - Get enough sleep. Symptoms of some mental health conditions, like mania in bipolar disorder, can be triggered by getting too little sleep. - Avoid alcohol and drugs. They don't actually reduce stress: in fact, they often worsen it. If you're struggling with substance abuse, educate yourself and get help. - Talk to someone. Whether to friends, family, a counselor or a support group, airing out and talking can help. Consider attending a NAMI Connection Recovery Support Group. Getting Help If the steps you've taken aren't working, it may be time to share with your mental health professional. He or she can help you pinpoint specific events that trigger you and help you create an action plan to change them. Read the full article

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tallmantall · 7 days

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tallmantall · 8 days

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James Donaldson on Mental Health - How to Help Kids Deal With Embarrassment

Don't minimize their feelings, but do praise them for being resilient Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com Writer: Rae Jacobson Clinical Expert: Rachel Busman, PsyD, ABPPEN ESPAÑOL What You'll Learn - How can we help kids who feel embarrassed? - What can parents do to model good coping skills? - When should you be concerned about a child who feels embarrassed? - Quick Read - Full Article - Model behavior - Take your child’s embarrassment seriously - But don’t overreact - Praise positive skills - Create perspective - When to step in - Embarrassment and social anxiety - Life lessons Quick Read For grown-ups, minor embarrassments are no big deal. But for kids, being embarrassed can be very upsetting. Helping kids build resilience and confidence will make sure they have tools to deal with embarrassment in a healthy way. Kids look to parents to see how to behave. When you feel embarrassed, set an example by responding calmly and keeping your cool. This doesn’t mean you should hide embarrassments. Instead, let kids see you handling embarrassing experiences in a reasonable way: “Whew! That was embarrassing! But it was kind of funny, too.” Embarrassment can be a powerful emotion for kids. Something that sounds small to you — like giving the wrong answer in class— may feel huge to your child. When kids are embarrassed it’s important not to dismiss their feelings, even if the situation that caused them sounds like no big deal. Instead, let them know you take their feelings seriously. Then, focus on moving on and modeling healthy coping skills. Offer perspective: “It might feel like everyone will remember this forever, but…” And praise resilience: “Sure, you made a mistake, but I loved how you just kept playing! That was amazing!” Embarrassing situations happen to everyone from time to time. But if a child regularly comes home from school upset, or has a major change in behavior or mood, there may be something more serious going on. Bullying could be a problem. Or if your child is so worried about being embarrassed that they avoid activities most kids enjoy, they could be struggling with social anxiety disorder, and may need help. For most adults minor embarrassments are just a part of life — annoying, but inevitable and hardly a big deal. But for many kids, embarrassing experiences can be very upsetting and, in some cases, may lead to serious issues like anxiety and avoidance. We can’t protect our children from embarrassment, but we can help them build the resilience and confidence they need to deal with it in a healthy way. Model behavior Kids look to parents for cues on how to manage difficult emotions like embarrassment. “As parents we set the behavioral tone for our kids,“ says Rachel Busman, PsyD, a clinical psychologist, “So when we’re helping children learn healthy emotional habits, the first step is to consider how we handle similar situations in our own lives.” Taking a look at how you deal with embarrassing experiences at home will help you set an example of healthy behavior for your child. - Don’t obsess: If you tend to dwell on mistakes you’ve made (“I can’t believe I did that!” “I could have died of embarrassment!”), it’s more likely your child will do the same. - Stay calm: If you lose your cool when an embarrassing situation happens to you, or react by becoming angry or upset, you’re sending a message to your child that it’s a big deal. - No teasing: Kids accidentally do and say some very funny things, but it’s important not to mock mistakes or poke fun at embarrassing incidents. If small embarrassments are treated with ridicule, kids may start associating even minor missteps with feelings of shame and humiliation. Teasing — even if it seems gentle — can be very upsetting to kids, especially if they’re already feeling sensitive. Take your child’s embarrassment seriously There’s no yardstick for embarrassment. Something that sounds small to you — giving the wrong answer in class for example — may feel huge to your child. If your child is embarrassed it’s important not to dismiss their feelings, even if the situation that caused them sounds like no big deal. “We naturally want to downplay embarrassing experiences by saying things like ‘it’s not as bad as you think,’” says Dr. Busman. “But when kids are experiencing these big, really upsetting emotions that can feel like a brush-off.” But don’t overreact If your child comes home upset, what they don’t need is for you to get upset, too, or angry on their behalf. (“That sounds awful!” “Those kids should be ashamed of themselves for laughing!”) And don’t assume that they want or need you to do something about it. When a self-concious child worries that a parent will overreact or make an embarrassing situation worse, they’re likely to be reluctant to share their feelings. “When a child is hurting, as parents we want to do all we can,” says Dr. Busman, “but if your kid is feeling embarrassed, heaping more attention on the situation can make it worse, not better.” #James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub Praise positive skills If your child shares an embarrassing situation with you, take care to validate their feelings, but don’t dwell on them or over comfort. Instead, praise positive coping skills. If they made a mistake during a piano recital, praise them for staying focused and finishing the piece. Reframing negative experiences will help your child identify healthy reactions and practice them, building what we call metacognitive skills. You could say: “I’m so sorry that happened today. I know it was upsetting but I am so proud of how you handled it. It takes a really brave person to keep playing when things are hard.” Create perspective If your child fell in gym class and other kids laughed, it may seem to them as though everyone saw, everyone laughed and no one will ever forget it — ever. Of course you know that’s not true but kids, especially younger ones, often struggle to see beyond their own feelings, which can make embarrassing situations feel like front-page news. “Kids can be egocentric,” explains Dr. Busman, “so when something embarrassing happens to your child it can feel like everyone is thinking about it as much as they are, when in reality most kids will have moved on by the next day.” Learning to put their feelings and experiences in context will help your child gain perspective and build resilience. - Unpack: Help your child take a metacognitive approach to their feelings by asking open-ended questions. For example: Your child isn’t the only one who’s ever fallen down in gym class, so you could begin by asking how they felt when other kids did the same thing. Learning to put their own experiences in context can help your child start to see embarrassing situations from a better angle. - Share: Sharing examples from your own life will help normalize embarrassment. “I dropped my handbag at the grocery store the other day. It practically exploded all over the floor. Everyone laughed, but then several people helped pick things up.” - But don’t compare: Offering perspective is good but be careful to avoid comparing your experiences with your child’s. (“You think that’s bad, when your brother was your age…”) Your child may end up feeling like their experiences are unimportant — or not serious enough to warrant how upset they’re feeling — which can make them feel worse for not being tougher. - Let your child take the lead: Sometimes questions are helpful, but there may be times when your child just doesn’t want to talk about it. “Letting kids take the lead is important,” says Dr. Busman. “If your child says, ‘I don’t want to talk about it’ or seems too upset, don’t push.” Embarrassment is a big feeling and sometimes kids just need space to cool down. Helping your child gain perspective without minimizing their feelings will make it easier for them to move past negative experiences — and give them an important tool for building self-awareness in the future. When to step in Embarrassing situations happen to everyone from time to time, but if your child regularly comes home from school upset, or has a major change in behavior or mood, there may be something more serious going on. - Bullying: Unfortunately, kids aren’t always kind. Most children will be made fun of at some point during their lives. Sporadic episodes of embarrassment are unpleasant — but not unusual. However, if your child regularly reports being teased or humiliated by their peers — especially kids who are bigger, older or more “popular” — there’s a chance they’re being bullied, and it’s time to step in. - Behavioral changes: Feeling a little down or anxious after an embarrassing incident is normal, but lingering behavioral changes — not sleeping, low appetite, excessive worrying — are not. - Overreacting or obsessing: If your child’s reaction to something embarrassing seems out of proportion to the situation or they seem unable to move past it, they may need support. - Avoidance: Most kids who’ve had an embarrassing experience feel reluctant about returning to the class or social group where the problem occurred for a little while, but persistent avoidance is cause for concern. Some signs to watch for include frequently being too sick to go to school or asking to go to the nurse during a particular class, making excuses to avoid seeing friends, cutting class, skipping extracurricular activities or refusing to attend school entirely. Embarrassment and social anxiety For some kids, fear of being embarrassed itself can become a serious issue. If a child seems to live in perpetual fear of embarrassment — even when there’s no obvious reason to worry — they may be experiencing social anxiety. Social anxiety usually occurs in children who’ve reached adolescence, but it can develop earlier. A child with social anxiety panics at the thought of participating in day-to-day activities because they worry chronically about what other people will think of them, obsess on how they appears to others, or fear making a mistake. These fears can be very debilitating. For kids who see potential for humiliation at every turn, even basic interactions can feel like a minefield, and social, school and personal interactions often suffer. Withdrawal is common, but kids with social anxiety are also prone to lashing out when the threat of embarrassment overwhelms them. The good news is that kids who develop social anxiety respond well to cognitive behavioral therapy, and with help can return to their normal activities. Life lessons It’s natural to want to protect your child from experiences that are hurtful or upsetting, but in the end, the best way for your child to build coping skills is through experience — with a side of support. “Being embarrassed is part of life,” says Dr. Busman. “It’s tempting to try to shield our kids from difficult things, but in reality learning how to deal with those experiences in a healthy way is a skill that will serve your child well as they grow up.” Photo by Brett Sayles on Pexels.com Read the full article

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tallmantall · 9 days

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James Donaldson on Mental Health - 'Feeling Like a Burden' Can Be Motivator for Suicide in Preteens

By: Dennis Thompson - Preteen children who feel like a burden on others are more likely to think about suicide - Criticism from parents and difficulty expressing emotions are also warning signs - Preteen girls are at especially high risk Quiet preteens who feel they're a burden on others are more likely to have suicidal thoughts and behaviors, a new study reports. Criticism from parents or caregivers also increased the likelihood of suicidal thoughts and behaviors, researchers found. Preteen girls with these traits are at especially high risk, according to the study published recently in the Journal of the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. “Preadolescent are dramatically increasing, and it is critical to identify risk factors that can be clinically assessed and modified with treatment,” said lead researcher Renee Thompson, an associate professor of psychological and brain sciences with Washington University in St. Louis. For the study, Thompson and her team surveyed 192 children ages 7 to 12 for signs of suicidal thoughts, based on risk factors like depression, feelings of disconnection or burdensomeness, criticism and conflict with caregivers, and the ability to express one’s feelings. The surveys were conducted weekly with children whose caregivers reported incidents of suicidal thoughts or self-harm, and monthly for other kids, for a year. About 30% of the kids met the criteria for major depression, and during the year 70 children were found to have suicidal thoughts or behaviors. Overall, girls were four times more likely than boys to report thoughts of suicide or self-harming actions, researchers found. Boys and girls with symptoms of severe depression were 10 times more likely to think of suicide or act on those thoughts. #James Donaldson notes:Welcome to the “next chapter” of my life… being a voice and an advocate for #mentalhealthawarenessandsuicideprevention, especially pertaining to our younger generation of students and student-athletes.Getting men to speak up and reach out for help and assistance is one of my passions. Us men need to not suffer in silence or drown our sorrows in alcohol, hang out at bars and strip joints, or get involved with drug use.Having gone through a recent bout of #depression and #suicidalthoughts myself, I realize now, that I can make a huge difference in the lives of so many by sharing my story, and by sharing various resources I come across as I work in this space. #http://bit.ly/JamesMentalHealthArticleFind out more about the work I do on my 501c3 non-profit foundationwebsite www.yourgiftoflife.org Order your copy of James Donaldson's latest book,#CelebratingYourGiftofLife: From The Verge of Suicide to a Life of Purpose and Joy www.celebratingyourgiftoflife.com Link for 40 Habits Signupbit.ly/40HabitsofMentalHealth If you'd like to follow and receive my daily blog in to your inbox, just click on it with Follow It. Here's the link https://follow.it/james-donaldson-s-standing-above-the-crowd-s-blog-a-view-from-above-on-things-that-make-the-world-go-round?action=followPub Looking closer at the week-to-week responses of known high-risk preteens, researchers found that certain factors tended to predate a suicidal thought or behavior occurring the following week. These factors included problems expressing their feelings, perceptions of being a burden and criticism from caregivers, researchers said. They noted that similar factors also influence suicidal thoughts and behaviors among teenagers and adults. All of this points to “potential targets for prevention and treatment aimed at decreasing risk" of suicidal thoughts in kids, the authors concluded. If you or a loved one is struggling with suicidal thoughts and feelings, the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline can help. Read the full article

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