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plussizefantasia · 6 months

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Good Punkins

Flufftober Day 21: Pumpkin Patch

Steve Rogers x f!mom!reader

Word Count: 2.7k (actually the longest fic I've written to date)

Warnings: reader is a mom in this one, she is referred to as Mamma several times so if that's not your jam don't read this.

AN: Holy crap this went way beyond my original plan but I just love Steve and little man so much now. This story does have a part two coming later (on day 30). Feedback and reblogs are always encouraged! Thank you for reading.

divider credit @royallaesthetics

Steve was an amazing husband. The two of you were married six years ago and within a year you were expecting. Nine months later, Caleb James Rogers was born and you realized something amazing. Steve was an amazing husband, but he was an even better father.

Little Caleb wanted for nothing, but he wasn’t spoiled. He was adventurous and kind and everything that you could ever want in a child. Even as a baby, he wasn’t very fussy. When he was all it took was Steve lifting him into his large arms and cooing at the infant to get him to calm down. At first, you were a little jealous that Steve seemed to have the golden tough when it came to your son, but you couldn’t help the overwhelming feelings of adoration for your husband every time you saw the two of them together.

Caleb was an extremely curious child, he also didn’t like being left out. When you had driven the two of you home last week after picking him up from and he had seen the new decorations your neighbors had put out for Halloween it was no surprise when he asked, “Mamma, why dey have punkins?” You dread the day when he’s able to say the word pumpkin.

“Why do you think they have pumpkins, baby?” You returned.

“Dunno Mamma, but they gots faces in them.”

“Some of them do yeah,” you opened the door to your house and watched as Caleb climbed up the singular step that led up to your door. You don’t know who designed it, but your little tyke has tripped on it more than once and you’ve made sure to be very watchful every time he tries again.

At the sound of the front door opening, Steve made his way towards the entryway of your home. He looked soft, as he usually did nowadays and you couldn’t love it more. Steve had hung up the shield when Caleb was born and since then he let his hair grow out, and bought a few more pairs of sweats and at your insistence shirts that fit him. He didn’t have abs anymore but that didn’t mean the strength had gone away, just that he was more worried about his family and being there for every moment than staying in peak shape.

“Buddy! How was school?” Steve got down on one knee in order to intercept the charging little boy.

“It was so funs Daddy! I got to play on the park and Mrs. Hilly gave me two gold stars today.” Steve lifted Caleb off the ground and cradled him against his hip. He began walking the two of them towards the kitchen.

“Two stars? That’s great bud.”

“Yeah and on da way home I saw punkins on the ground. Mamma says some of them face faces.”

“Yeah, it’s October buddy, that means some people have started decorating.”

“Decorating for what Daddy?”

“Decorating for Halloween.”

“Can we decorate for Halloween?”

“I don’t see why not, do you want to get a pumpkin and put a face on it with me?” Steve smiled at his son and shifted his eyes towards yours.

“Yes! Can we go gets one now Daddy?”

“Not now baby, we can go this weekend though.” You interrupted, noticing the look on Steve's face. He had a hard time saying no to Caleb and you knew that he was about to go put his shoes on and drive thirty minutes away to the nearest pumpkin patch just to see his little boy smile.

‘But I wants to go now, Mamma.” Your little boy whined.

‘I know baby, but if we go now we won’t have enough time to do all the fun things there. Don’t you want to be able to do all of the things they have?”

“What else do the punkin people have?”

“Um, well they usually have a corn maze and tractor rides. They might have a big ol’ room of corn that you can play in as you do at the park. And they might even have animals you can pet.” You said, thinking back to your childhood memories of going to pumpkin patches with your family.

“They have all of that?” His eyes had gotten wide.

“Yeah baby, they have tons of stuff but if we go tonight we won’t have time to do any of it. But if we wait until Saturday we’ll be able to spend the whole day there.”

‘I want to spend forever there!”

“I don’t know about forever buddy, you still have to go to school but we can spend the whole day on Saturday how does that sound?” Steve asked the little boy.

“Sounds good Daddy.”

And so, three days later your little family of three loaded into the SUV all bundled up for a cool day at the pumpkin patch, and made your way further out of town and towards the fall-themed activity.

Your little boy was in the backseat singing along to the songs on the radio and occasionally asking nonsensical questions to either you or Steve. And both of you tried your best to answer them as seriously as you could.

Half an hour later you pulled into the farm and Steve rolled around the dirt parking lot looking for an open spot. It wasn’t too busy which you were grateful for, Steve may not exactly be Captain America anymore but that didn’t mean that he doesn’t still get recognized.

Steve parked the car and jumped out before you could start unbuckling Caleb. You rounded your way to the trunk to grab the backpack you had packed full of some extra snacks, a light blanket in case anyone got cold, and a hat and scarf for Caleb in case he needed it. Your husband and son joined you a moment later, Caleb holding onto Steve’s hand and practically bouncing in place.

“Alright baby, we need to go get our tickets to get inside and then we can do whatever you want.”

“Otay Mamma.”

You passed through the ticket line with ease and without much time passing at all, you were inside. You checked your phone for the time, 10:30.

“Alright baby, what do you want to do first?” You asked, looking towards your son and patiently waiting for him to make his decision. Caleb scanned his surroundings taking in all there was to do and weighing his options carefully. His eyes landed a little ways away at a large pile of hay that several other children were climbing on top of and running up the side.

“Look, Daddy! A mountain of straw!”

“I see buddy, you wanna go play?” Caleb screamed his assent and grabbed his father’s hand pulling him towards the miniature mountain. You followed behind them and took a seat on a nearby bench to watch your boys have their fun.

Steve would lift Caleb into the sky so he could get to the top and then the little boy would count down and push himself down the hill like a slide. Several times, he would just run straight at the pile and bury himself in the looser straw on the surface. At one point Caleb, convinced Steve to climb to the top of the pile and all at once all of the children playing tried to push him off. You laughed loudly and took pictures the entire time.

Eventually, though your baby boy got a little tired and made his way towards you. He was breathing heavily and his entire body was covered in straw. You pulled a few stray pieces from his hair and offered him one of the juice boxes you had packed.

Steve too came towards your sitting place, also covered head to toe in straw. When you arched a single eyebrow at him and looked him up and down, a small plush, and sheepish expression crossed his face and he looked down at his shoes.

When Caleb’s breathing returned to normal you asked him what he wanted to do next and he immediately perked up.

“You said there would be animals to pet Mamma?”

“Yeah, baby I think they have some goats if you wanna pet those.”

The rest of the day followed similarly. Caleb running from activity to activity. Sometimes you joined in, sometimes Steve, sometimes both of you. He was having a blast and you were so happy he was getting to make these fun memories like you had.

Caleb played in the corn pit for a little while, he fed the goats and took a ride on the mini-tractor coaster for the kids. He also had his face painted and the three of you had your photo taken next to the sixteen-foot-tall scarecrow. You all had hotdogs and apple cider for lunch and Caleb insisted that he wanted to go play on the hay pile again.

“When can we get out punkin Mamma?” Caleb said after his third yawn of the last hour. Your little man was fading and fast.

“Right now Baby, let's go get in line for the tractor ride and then we can go out and get our pumpkins. Caleb turned towards Steve and lifted his arms at his father, asking without words to be picked up.

Steve hoisted your son into his arms and the three of you made your way to the actual line to go into the patch. It was nearing time for dinner and you wanted to be able to get your pumpkins and go home before Caleb completely conked out.

One short tractor ride later and the three of you were immersed in the sea of orange gourds. Caleb seemed to perk up when he saw all of the pumpkins and began excitedly running from row to row inspecting them.

Steve and you strolled hand in hand along with him, both of you with soft smiles on your faces as you watched the little man you created having a wonderful day.

“Thank you.” Steve had said, breaking the comfortable silence between the two of you.

“For what?” You laughed.

‘For this” He gestured towards Caleb, also lifting your intertwined hands and placing a kiss on the back of yours, “I never thought I’d get this, so thank you.” You leaned in and softly kissed him, taking your time to let him know through your affection that you’d do just about anything for him.

“Well then, Thank you too.” You said as you pulled back.

“Mamma! Daddy! Come on, come look!” Your attention was drawn to your son, jumping up and down next to a couple of pumpkins he seemed to have lined up.

“What did you find bud?” Steve asked when the two of you got close enough.

“Good punkins, we can put faces on dem.” he pointed at the three pumpkins he had lined up. You had to admit, it seemed like Caleb had a knack for picking pumpkins. The ones he had grabbed were practically perfect, with only one of two spots on them.

“Good job, baby these are great ones.” You ruffled his hair. “Alright, we gotta bring them back to the tractor so we can take 'em home. You wanna grab one?” He just nodded and went to grab the biggest of the three.

“How ‘bout Daddy take this one and you can take that one,” Steve said pointing toward the other pumpkin on the ground.

“Otay Daddy, but if you need help let me know.” You both softly laughed at how sweet your little boy was.

“Sure thing, buddy.” Steve hiked the largest pumpkin onto one shoulder and went to grab the stem of the one in his arms.

“What are you doing?” You asked him as he lifted the pumpkin from your hands.

“What was the point of marrying a super soldier if you don’t take advantage of the strength.”

“I didn’t marry you for your strength, I married you for your rugged good looks.” You responded and he let out a large guffaw followed by a smaller stream of laughter laughter.

Without your arms full you were free to take pictures of the father-son duo carrying their pumpkins side by side toward the tractor. You helped Caleb load his pumpkin up into the wagon that the passengers rode in and watched as he climbed up the steps into the wooden structure. Steve followed after you and the three of you in the corner with the pumpkins at your feet.

When the wagon started moving it began sort of rocking side to side, lulling your little boy closer and closer to sleep. You were sort of impressed that he had lasted that long and pulled him into your lap so that he could be more comfortable. Not even five minutes later he was asleep with his head rested against your shoulder and his arms around your neck.

The tractor pulled back into the main area of the farm and you had to disembark and grab your pumpkins so that other people could have their turn.

Before you could even start to get up with your sleeping son in your arms, Steve had taken him and lifted him onto his shoulders. He had one of Caleb’s legs on either side of his head and the torso of the little boy was leaning on his head, his little hand resting on Steve’s forehead.

Since he had taken the boy you went to go grab one of the pumpkins but Steve had beaten you to that too. In some miracle, Steve had managed to hold onto not only the sleeping little boy, but all three pumpkins and get off the wagon without jostling any of them too much.

“Steven Grant, let me carry a damn pumpkin.” You chased after your husband, attempting to relieve him of at least one of the decently sized pumpkins.

“Let me think about that.” He kept walking.

“Steve seriously, I look so mean making you carry everything.”

“You’re not making me do anything Honey, I’m doing this of my own free will.”

“Well, will your free will at least let me grab Caleb.”

“He’s comfy up there”

“Yeah mamma, comfy” a little sleep-riddled voice replied from your husband’s shoulders. And Steve let a smirk of victory cross his face.

“Whatever.” You huffed. Following next to your husband and hoping that nobody else thought you were some kind of nightmare woman who made your husband carry everything.

It was a short trek after that to the car and you began to increase your pace so that you’d be able to open the door for Steve to be able to transfer Caleb back into his car seat, but Steve matched your pace easily and you watching as his smirk continued to grow.

He got to the car first and instead of depositing the pumpkins in the trunk, or going to put Caleb in his seat, Steve opened the passenger door for you and gestured for you to get it.

“You’re kidding.” You deadpanned.

“I got this Honey, just get in the car.”. You didn’t argue just shook your head with exasperation and climbed into the car. Turning the heat on and getting the directions home pulled up on your phone.

Meanwhile, Steve, who you’re now convinced was a juggler in a previous life is opening the hatch of the trunk and placing all three pumpkins plus your backpack that you didn’t even realize he had into the space. He pulled Caleb down from his shoulders and placed a kiss on his head. Closing the trunk, he made his way around to Caleb’s door and opened it without moving the sleeping boy an inch. Steve flawlessly deposited him into this seat and buckled him up with astonishing speed and you had to admit to yourself that watching Steve do all of this was turning you on more than you thought it would.

Finally, Steve opened his door and climbed into the car, starting the engine and looking to you for the go-ahead to leave.

You just leaned across the consul and placed a large kiss on his cheek. Making him smile like a schoolboy.

“I love you.” You had said.

“I love you too.” He had replied before shifting the car into reverse and beginning the half-hour drive home.

You looked into the back seat at the tuckered-out boy in his car seat and thanked the universe and Steve all over again for giving you such an amazing little gift.

#fanfic #fluff #x reader #marvel fanfiction #flufftober #plus size reader #plus size!reader #steve rogers x y/n #steve rogers #steve rogers x reader #steve rogers x plus size reader #steve rogers x you #captain america #steve rogers fanfiction #steve rogers fluff #steve rogers fic #steve rogers fandom

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cherrycola27 · 1 year

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Red, White, and Rooster

Series Warnings: Language, alcohol consumption. Frenemies to lovers, relationship of convenience. Political situations. Allegations of affairs, military and political inaccuracies. Smut. 18+ Minors DNI. Banner Credit: @thedroneranger

Series Masterlist Previous Part Next Part

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Chapter 9: Under the Oval

You paced nervously around your bedroom. Bradley had been gone for three weeks. He'd spent some time touring the military bases on the West Coast and reliving some of his glory days. You almost fainted when he FaceTimed you from the cockpit of an F-18. You had been horribly sick with the flu just after your birthday and decided not to make the trip.

He was finally coming home, and you were desperate to see him. The two of you had never spent this much time away from each other since becoming a couple.

"Sweetheart! I'm home! He called into your bedroom as he came through the door. You ran to greet him, jumping into his arms and kissing him with fervor.

"Missed you so much, Dearest." You mumbled between kisses. Bradley stumbled forward in the room with you in his arms. The two of you toppled onto the bed, both desperate for each other.

Bradley had just pulled your top off to reveal a gorgeous black lace bra when his phone rang. He groaned into your neck.

"Don't answer it. Need you so bad." You tried to persuade him, but you knew he couldn't do that. Reluctantly, he answered his phone. After a few minutes, he sighed. "There's some budget proposals and drafts of some new bills that I have to look at. I'm so sorry, darling. I'll try my best to hurry through them. Keep the bed warm for me." He said before kissing you and heading to his office.

You sighed and flopped down on the mattress. Sometimes, being married to the president really sucked.

Hours ticked by, and you were getting lonely. You were desperate to have Bradley close to you. It was approaching 8:30 and he still hadn't come back. You were worried about him, so you decided to pay him a little visit.

You quickly changed out of your sleep clothes and into the pale blue negligee that you had bought while he was away. You slipped on your robe and quietly crept out of your room.

You made your way down the hall before slipping into the Oval Office undetected.

It was dim inside the office. Most of the lights were off except for the lamp on his desk.

"Bradley." You called out to him. His head snapped up from what he was reading to see you strutting towards him.

"Hello, love. I'm sorry. I really didn't think it would take so long." He apologizes to you. "It's fine, honey. I thought I could come keep you company. You say as you pause beside his desk.

"I would love that." He smiles at you, but his smile morphs into a look of shock when you slip your robe off your body and he sees what you're wearing underneath.

"Y/N," he breathes out. "You can't come in here looking like that and not expect me to want to bend you over this desk." He warns you before pushing his chair back just enough for you to come stand in between his legs. You palm him through the pants of his suit before undoing his belt and opening his pants just enough to free him.

He groans when you touch him. He pulls you into his lap, and you sink down over him. Encasing him in your warmth.

His hands find your hips as he urges you to move. "Sweetheart, please." He begs.

You shake your head.

"Oh no, you're going to sit here and finish your work while I warm your cock Mr. President. And when you get done, I'm going to get on my knees and show you just how happy I am that you are home, sir." You whisper in his ear.

He softly groans into your neck and inhales your scent. You smell like the lily soap you're fond of, and traces of your J'adore perfume still linger on you. He rubs soothing circles with his thumbs across your thighs as you full settle around him, legs draping lazily over his, while your arms wrap around his neck and you cling to him like a koala.

He slides back up to his desk, and the slight shift has you sinking deeper onto him. You both gasped at the sensation.

You lay your head on his shoulder as you play with the hairs at the nape of his neck. You ghost kisses along his jaw line and below his ears.

"Love being so full of you, sir." You whisper. "Love keeping you so warm, Mr. President." His breath hitches.

"Missed you so much, Bradley. Just wanna be close to you, Dearest." You breathe out against the shell of his ear.

He inhales sharply as he tries to focus on finishing his work. He loves the feeling of your velvet walls wrapped around him. He'd love it even more if he was fucking you stupid right there in the middle of the Oval Office. He can't count the number of times he's thought about it.

He speeds up his work, trying his best to finish, even though you're making it hard to focus by trialing feather light kisses and touches along his jaw. The subtle flutters of your core around his cock also aren't helping either.

He speeds through the last of his paperwork and sighs when he finishes. He cups your face and brings your lips to his. "All done baby—fuck—can I have you now?" He asks between kisses. His breath stutters as you flex around him. He loves how good you feel wrapped around him. You're tight and warm, he's certain your pussy was made for him.

But the warmth is short-lived as you lift off of him and perch yourself on the edge of his desk. Bradley lets out a whine of disappointment as he tries to pull you back to him. You stretch out your foot, gently resting it on his firm peck to stop him.

He looks at you. His honey brown eyes are big and hazy as he silently pleads with you. You chuckle before gliding your foot down his sternum and jumping off his desk.

You sink to your knees on the plush office carpet.

Soon, your eye level with his cock.

You take in the sight of it. It's so fucking pretty. Most men probably wouldn't like it if you said their dick was pretty, but Bradley's was fucking beautiful.

It was long and thick. Hard veins wrapped around the shaft. The fat mushroom tip was flushed, a deep rose. It matched his plush lips that you loved so much. It had just the slightest upward curve that would hug your gspot when he fucked you.

Currently, a bead of precum was pearled on the tip, while the rest of it was shiny and slick with your wetness.

You reached out and wrapped one hand tentatively around him as you began to stroke him. He groaned in relief.

Your tongue peaked out and licked your lips before running from the base to the tip of him. You swirled your tongue around the head before wrapping your lips around it.

Breathy moans fell from his lips as you took more and more of him into your mouth. You hollowed out your cheeks and exhaled before taking him fully down your throat. Bradley let out a guttural groan as your nose pressed into the neat blonde curls at the base of his length.

He gathered your hair away from your face before tilting your chin up to look at him. You let out a deep breath through your nose before meeting his eyes. You tried to blink back the few tears that had gathered at the corners. One of his hands came up to cup your cheek as his thumb brushed them away.

You swalled around him, causing his hips to stutter forward. You didn't move, though. Instead, you hummed around him contentedly. Seeing that you liked it, Bradley thrust hips forward again, he was rewarded with another moan of your pleasure.

"Fuck—you want me to fuck your face, Sweetheart?" He asked. You nodded.

"God—you look so fucking beautiful down there on your knees in that little blue nighty with your mouth stuffed full of my cock, how can I tell you no?" He says.

You pull back some before taking him down your throat again and again. Soon, Bradley is meeting your thrusts. You take him down your throat over and over again, drool pools at the corner of your mouth, he does he best to wipe it away, but he gets lost futher and futher in the pleasure. Something about seeing his pretty little wife, the First Lady of the United States, on her knees, with a mouth full of cock, giving him sloppy head, makes his brain go blank.

The pleasure you're giving him is so fucking good. He can feel his balls tightening, and he is so close. Just as he is about to cum, the intercom buzzes. Jake's voice rings through asking him if he is still in his office. Bradley is just about to tell him to fuck off when you pull your mouth away from him.

"Tell him to come in." You state. "Wha—no, baby, please, I was so close." Bradley whines.

"Tell him to come in, or you don't get to cum." You state. Bradley isn't sure if you're kidding or not, but in the back of his mind, he knows you're serious. You tuck yourself under his desk as he slides forward to hide his raging hard-on before Jake comes in.

Jake is none the wiser that you're there or to what you and Bradley were just doing.

They are talking about the budget reports when a wicked thought crosses your mind. You lean forward and quietly wrap your lips back around Bradley.

He disguises his surprise as a cough before reaching his hand under his desk. You think his going to pull you off, but instead, he presses your head future down, holding you in place. He should have known you'd be a brat.

You hollow out your cheeks as Jake continues to speak. It's getting harder and harder for Bradley to keep his cool. He's just about to scream at Jake to leave, but Jake gets a call and heads out.

"You naughty little brat." Bradley grunts, put as he snaps his hips into your mouth. You laugh as he fucks your face harder and harder.

"Fuck—I'm gonna cum!" He tells you. "Wanna cum down that pretty throat of yours and watch you swallow it all." He moans out. You moan around him and soon, he's doing just that.

You can taste the saltiness of his relase as it shoots down your throat. You continue to suck him as his hips stutter against your face.

You swallow his load before pulling off of him with a pop. You look up and at him with big doe eyes and stick out your tongue to show him you took ever last drop of him and didn't let any go to waste.

"God, you're such a fucking dream. How are you even real, baby?" He mumbles in appreciation. He tucks himself back in his pants before scooping you up off the floor anr tossing you over his shoulder.

"Bradley!" You gasp in surprise. "What are you doing?"

"Taking you to bed. I fucked your face, now you're going to ride mine." He states ad he carries you out of the office.

He gently places you on your feet before stripping bare and laying on the bed. You go to remove the blue negligee, but he urges you to leave it on. He beckons you to the bed.

You nervously crawl on and straddled his face.

"Bradley, you hesitate. "What if I smother you?" You ask him.

"The Jake will have a hell of a story to tell about how he became the president, now bring my pussy over here and let me taste it." He commands.

"Your pussy?" You snicker.

"Yes, my fucking pussy." He states before pulling you flush against him, leaving not room for argument.

Any argument or smart comment that you would have had died the moment his tongue connected with your clit. He swirled the bud in his mouth before sucking it harshly.

You cried out in pleasure, leaning forward on the headboard for support.

His large hands held you up but encouraged you to ride his face. You circled your hips as he licked your seam over and over again with long, broad strokes. His nose bumped your clit with every motion as he lapped at your core.

"Fuck—Bradley! Just like that!" You cried as he drew figure eights across your sensitive bud. You were already so turned on from sucking him off, you knew you weren't going to last long like this.

Bradley moaned into your cunt. He was enjoying this just as much as you were. He was hard again, hips thrusting into the air as he ate you. Since being president, Bradley had tasted some of the finer things in life, but nothing tasted better than you.

Your thighs were burning with how close you were. They trembled around Bradley's head. You laced your fingers through his hair as you ground down harder on him.

He doubled down on his efforts, alternating between lapping and sucking at your clit, winding the band tighter and tighter until it snapped.

"BRADLEY!" You cried as your high washed over you. He continued to use his tongue to draw out every last ounce of pleasure from you until you were babbling that it was too much.

He helped ease you off of him until you were lying beside him. "Did my good girl enjoy that?" He asked you.

"Yes, sir." You breathed out, still trying to calm down.

"Good." He said as he demeanor shifted. He smirked before quickly flipping you over onto all fours and spanking you.

You squealed at the sudden change.

"And now I'm going to teach you a lesson for being a brat earlier when Jake came in." He growled in your ear. Before slamming into you from behind.

His hips pistoned against yours, pulling you flush against him with every thrust. "You wanna be a brat and tell me I can't cum? I'm gonna fuck every thought out of your head. You think you're such a smart girl? I'm going to show you just how stupid I can make you." He panted as he pushed your head down into the mattress.

The new angle cause him to hit spots deep within you. You were already seeing stars. His fingers dug into your hips. You knew their would be marks from them tomorrow. A visible reminder of the pleasure he was giving you.

He was relentless as he pounded into you. "Fuck, Bra—" you whined, unable to get the rest of his name out. "Plea—sir" you whimpered as one of his hands let got of your hip and snaked around to stroke your clit.

"Are you close? Do you want to cum again for me?" He asked you in a condescending tone. You wanted to scream out a response to him, beg him to let you finish, but the only thing you were capable of was a pathetic whine.

"Has my smart girl been fucked so good she's dumb now? Where are your big words you're so good at using? The only thought in your pretty little head is how good my cock feels isn't it?" He asks. You nod weakly as your fingers grip the sheets.

"Fuck, Sweetheart, griping me so good. You wanna cum? Go ahead then. Cum for me." Bradley says as you finish with a silent scream. He groans as you flutter around him. With a few more sloppy thrusts, he's spilling deep inside you. He slows his movements as you both ride out your highs.

He gingerly pulls out of you before pulling you close to him.

"You did so good for me, baby." He coos. Your eyes are still glassed over, and you're trembling with the aftershocks of pleasure.

"How about we go take a nice hot bath with some bubbles, and then we can cuddle. Sound good?" He asks you. You shake your head to agree.

He carefully gets up and takes you to the bathroom. He sits you on the counter before running a bath. As the two of you slip into the water, you can't help but think about how lucky you are.

No words, just thots! Hope you enjoyed!

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ijustreallylovethem · 7 months

Text

don’t take the girl

i actually cry so hard to this song every time i listen. i cried so much writing this, i’m sorry. please don’t hate me.

mark estapa x reader

words: 3,242

masterlist

8 years old

mark stomped his foot at his dads words, crossing his arms over his chest and pouting for a moment. his dad gave him a look, as if he was tempting him to fight him on the matter. and mark, ever the rowdy child, took him up on the offer.

“i don’t want her to come with us!” his dad sighed. “can’t we take jimmy? or tommy?”

“mark, it’s too late to invite any of your friends. i invited her dad and he suggested she come to keep you company.”

“but i don’t-“

“i know. you don’t want her to go. but maybe you’ll start to like her and you’ll change your mind.” mark shook his head.

“no. i’ll never want her to go.” before his dad could respond, you were walking through the gate of your front yard next door and walking over to the pair. you had a fishing pole in your hand and a bucket hat on your head, ready for the trip.

“well we can’t just leave her here! she’s come prepared!” he took the pole from your hand as he greeted you, then secured the pole in the boat. your dad was coming up behind you, ready for the day out on the lake. mark stood pouting next to you as your dads placed a cooler in the boat and your dad loaded in his pole and tackle box.

“alright, we ready to get this show on the road?” your dad asked, clapping mark on the shoulder. mark glared at you, rolling his eyes as he started to walk around the truck. his dad thought for a moment that he might just go back inside, despite how happy he had been all week to take the fishing trip. but he just walked to the back door and climbed in, slamming the door behind him. you opened the door you stood next to, hearing marks dad tell your dad that mark wasn’t very excited about you coming as you climbed in. you just shut the door and stayed silent, not wanting to upset mark any more than you already had with your presence.

you stayed quiet for most of the day, though you enjoyed fishing. you loved getting to reel them in, but hated having to take them off the hook. you found out, however, that mark loved taking them off the hook and measuring them, so you asked if he’d like to do it for you. he was hesitant, but agreed, and he seemed to be slightly more okay with you being there after that.

18 years old

you laughed at the dumb joke that mark made about the movie you both had just seen. as soon as the lights came on in the theater he made it very clear that he wasn’t fond of the movie, especially the way it ended. he stared making fun of some of the scenes as you both walked out, hand in hand. you shook your head at his antics, coming to a stop once you were on the street outside, turning to face him.

“you’re an idiot, estapa.”

“hey, i might be an idiot about a lot of things but i can promise you that i’m not the only one who feels this way about that movie.” you just smile at his little rant. “it was horrendous.” you giggle, then lean in to kiss him. you both keep it tame, as there are still people walking around downtown, but the street isn’t too busy. it’s 9:30 on a tuesday night after all. you pull away, just smiling up at mark for a second. and then all of a sudden, your presence is gone.

it takes a second for marks brain to catch up, but he notices you struggling and he notices the glint of the streetlight off the gun behind held to your side. the guy has his arm around your neck as he snarls at mark and you look terrified.

“just give me what i want and we won’t have any problem,” the man speaks lowly. mark is immediately patting at his pants pockets.

“i- i have some cash, not a lot. and my debit card is in there.” he throws the wallet on the ground near the guys feet. “and my keys.” he takes the keys and tosses them as well, and the guy watches as they bounce off the toe of your shoe. “if that’s not enough, i have this watch that i got from my grandpa and my phone. just please don’t hurt her.” you could see him trying to hold back tears but you couldn’t judge, you were doing the exact same.

“keep your car, bend down and take out the cash.” mark does as he says, holding the money out to the man. he quickly shoved the gun into his waistband and snatched the money from marks hand, then releases you from his hold and takes off running down the street. you let out a sob once he was gone, and mark was immediately pulling you into a tight hug.

“oh my god,” you cried into his shoulder, holding onto him just as tight.

“it’s okay,” he whispered, “you’re safe. i’ve got you.” he may have been trying to reassure himself just as much as he was reassuring you, but you didn’t need to know that. all that mattered is that you were alive and completely unharmed. twenty-three dollars was a small price to pay for that.

“um, sir?” mark pulled away from the hug just enough to see the kid who had sold them the tickets earlier in the night. he had a phone in his hand, wide eyes, and was just standing back up and holding marks keys out to him. “i just wanted to let you know that police are on their way. i saw everything and called.”

“thank you. we’ll come wait inside if that’s okay?” the kid, probably fifteen or sixteen, nodded, and turned to head back in. mark kissed your forehead and then pulled one arm away, keeping the other around you as you both headed back inside to wait for the police.

23 years old

your pregnancy had been rough. you had morning sickness almost all the way through. your cravings were terrible, mood swings that left mark slightly scared, and body pains that made you want to just curl up in bed all day. mark did his best to be there for you. he was always willing to run and buy you food, no matter the time of day or how far he had to drive. he didn’t get angry with you when you were irrationally angry at him two minutes after wanting to jump his bones, instead he did his best to talk calmly to you and resolve the situation you had created. he even gave you massages and held your bump when he could.

“mark.” he woke to you calling his name and you arm smacking against his torso.

“what’s wrong?” he asked, suddenly extremely alert.

“i think it’s time to go to the hospital.” he took a second to smile down at you, and you returned it.

“the baby’s coming?” you nodded.

“that baby’s- oh shit.” your face contorted in pain as a contraction hit, your hand reaching out for marks. he let you squeeze it as hard as you needed, knowing you were in pain and there was nothing he could do to stop it. he stayed silent until you eased your grip on his hand.

“let me grab the bag and put some clothes on and we can get going okay?” you nodded, sitting up and swinging your legs off the bed. by the time mark was ready, you had slides on your feet and you were waiting by the front door. mark smiled when he saw you, leaning in to give you a kiss. “let’s go have a baby, yeah?” he said softly. you giggled and nodded.

“let’s go have a baby!” the drive was short, but you still had another contraction in the car. your nails dug into marks thigh as he drove, and he reminded you to breathe. you hunched over a bit and he reached over to rub your back, trying to support you when he didn’t really know how. he parked and helped you walk in to the hospital, filling out the paperwork you were given as you took a seat. you only had one contraction in the waiting room before you were taken back to your own room.

“now it’s a waiting game,” mark said, scooting a chair up to the side of your bed and sitting down. he grabbed you hand is his, pressing a kiss to your knuckles. you looked down at his, giving him a tired smile.

“lovely.” he let out a small chuckle at your less than enthusiastic tone.

“she’ll be here before we know it,” mark assured you.

“i wish she’d be here in the least amount of contractions and pain possible.”

“don’t worry, they’ll come give you drugs soon.” you smiled at him them. you spent the next few hours being checked by nurses routinely while you and mark did your best to entertain yourselves. your contractions started coming quicker, but it was still a long and painful process. when the clock hit a decent hour, mark called his parents to let them know where you both were, but told them it would probably still be a bit before anything happened. then he did the same with your parents.

you were just recovering from a particularly painful contraction when your nurse came in to check over you again. she smiled when she looked up to you.

“i think we’re almost ready. i’m gonna go get the doctor and we’ll be back in just a few minutes to start pushing okay?” you gave her a smile as she left but it quickly turned to a look of panic as you turned to mark.

“excited?” he asked, a smile on his face.

“i just realized i have to push a child out of me.” he grabbed your hand, squeezing it and pressing kisses to the back of it.

“you’re gonna do amazing, baby. you got this.” you took a deep breath, trying to prepare yourself. “i’ll be right here the whole time,” he reminded you.

“you’ll hold my hand the whole time?” he nodded. “even if i’m crushing it?” he laughed, nodding again.

“even if you’re crushing it.” he stood cleaning over you to give you a kiss. he pulled away just as the door opened and a few nurses came in, followed by your doctor.

“okay lovely!” she greeted you. “are we ready to have a baby?” you took a breath, mustering up a smile.

“i guess so.” she smiled, getting everything ready.

“we’re gonna push on the next contraction, okay?” you nodded, looking over to mark with a nervous expression.

“i’m right here,” he whispered. you let out a deep breath. you sat waiting for a moment, hating the anxiety of it and just wishing the pain would hit. and then it did. the doctor was reminding you to push and you did, almost crying at the pain. you felt hot all over and way too vulnerable for the amount of people in the room. the contraction passed and yet, the baby was still inside.

“you did good, mom. we’re gonna try again on the next one, okay?” you nodded, taking deep breaths as you recovered from what you had just done. one of the nurses tapped your doctor on the shoulder and leaned down to whisper something, then they both glanced up to the screen displaying your vitals. you glanced up as well, but couldn’t really decipher what you were seeing other than a high heart rate. that seemed pretty normal to you though after attempting to give birth, so you tried to brush it off. when you looked back to the doctor, you noticed the nurse leaving the room. you didn’t have much time to question anything though, as another contraction hit and you were being told to push again. you were slightly frustrated, as there was still no baby. your chest hurt and mark asked if you were okay.

“out of breath,” you said.

“how else do you feel, mom?” the doctor asked.

“is it normal to want to vomit?” you asked. you closed your eyes, focusing on breathing through it all. focusing on how your baby would be in your arms in just a few short minutes. the door to the room opened, the nurse from before standing in the doorway.

“OR is ready,” she said. your eyes opened, flying to your doctor who was now stood.

“OR?” mark asked.

“don’t worry. we have to go for an emergency c-section because of the symptoms she’s exhibiting but everything should be fine.” the nurses lifted the breaks off of the bed you rested on, starting to wheel it toward the door. “can you show him to the waiting room?” she asked a nurse.

“waiting room?” mark questioned, alarmed.

“you won’t be allowed into the operating room. once the baby is here, someone will come get you to see them,” the nurse explained, giving him a sympathetic smile.

“but i-“ he watched as you were wheeled out the door, but before you could get down the hallway, mark was by your side again. he reached for your hand, leaning over to give you a kiss. “everything’s found to be just fine, baby. i’ll see you in a bit, okay? just know i’m jealous you’ll get to see her first.” you gave him a weak laugh, and then they were wheeling you away. he watched until he couldn’t see you anymore, wiping a tear as he turned to the nurse. he followed her to the waiting room, thanking her when they arrived. he wasn’t expecting to see his parents sitting there.

“mark! is she here?” his mom asked, standing from her seat. she held a teddy bear in her hands while his dad held onto some balloons.

“um, not yet. y/n was pushing and then they had to take her for an emergency c-section.”

“oh.” his mom gave him a look of sympathy, pulling him into a hug.

“do you think she’ll be okay?” he asked, his voice shaky.

“they’re gonna do everything they can for her, okay?” he nodded, sniffling as he pulled away. his dad stood and gave him a quick hug as well, and then the three of them sat down. the waiting was excruciating, the minutes ticking by slower than mark had ever felt time pass before. he couldn’t stop his leg from bouncing, and eventually his mom rested her hand on his knee to calm him. he sighed, running a hand over his face.

“i should probably call her mom again. i called right after i called you guys earlier and said i’d call again when she got here. but…” he trailed off, thinking about having to drop the news on your parents. he stood, about to make his way outside when he heard your name being called out to the room. he looked up to see your doctor standing there, and she gave him a tight lipped smile when her gaze landed on him.

“the baby is perfectly healthy,” she said when she had met mark halfway across the room. mark let out a small breath.

“and y/n?”

“y/n suffered from amniotic fluid embolism. it’s when amniotic fluid gets into the mothers bloodstream.” marks chest started to hurt at the fact that he was getting an explanation instead of an answer. “it’s a very rapid onset, which is why we rushed her from the room. we did everything we could for her but unfortunately, she didn’t make it.”

it took a second for the words to register in marks brain. she didn’t make it. the ache in his chest turned to a stabbing pain and his legs gave out, causing him to fall to his knees. she didn’t make it. his ears were ringing and his whole body felt heavy. she didn’t make it. he barely felt arms wrapping around him from behind, or saw his dad in front of him trying to get his attention. she didn’t make it. he felt suffocated, pulling at the neck of his shirt to try and get some air into his lungs, but when he couldn’t, he stood. he would’ve apologized for almost knocking his mom over if he realized that he had done it, but instead he just made his way through the doors and into the chilly air outside. she didn’t make it. that’s when he screamed. he had tears streaming down his cheeks and he screamed, letting all of his emotions out as his brain finally caught up with the ache in his heart.

he collapsed to the ground again, sobbing as he leaned against a pillar. he grabbed at his hair, pulling at it until someone was gently coaxing the locks from his fingers. he looked up to see his mom, looking down at him with a pained expression. he just cried harder, leaning into her instead. he wrapped his arms around her, clutching at her shirt as he sobbed.

“why her? why can’t it be me instead? i can’t- i can’t do this without her!” his mom rubbed his back gently, resting her cheek against his head.

“i know, honey. it’s going to be rough. just let it out, okay?” mark cried until he couldn’t anymore, which took a long time. he was still sniffling, and he had a raging headache and puffy eyes. he pulled away from his mom eventually, leaning his back against the pillar that they were still sat next to. he looked up to the sky, and then his eyes landed on his dad. he was standing a few feet away and had obviously been crying as well.

“her parents are on their way,” he spoke softly and mark nearly thanked him. instead, he let out a mix between a scoff and a laugh.

“you were wrong, dad.” mark shook his head. “i never changed my mind, not once in fifteen years.” his dad looked at him slightly confused as mark took a second to compose himself. “i still really don’t want her to go.” his dad let out a laugh, causing mark to laugh as well, and soon the three of them were sitting outside of the hospital entrance laughing to themselves. when it died down, his dad came and took a seat next to him. he rested his arm over his shoulder, pulling him into a side hug for a moment.

“i know it’s been a bit of a rough day, but i do believe you have a daughter in there that would like to meet her dad.” mark smiled, then his lips quivered a bit.

“we had a name picked out… do you think she would mind if i changed it a bit?” marks mom smiled at him, her eyes watery as she knew just what he wanted to do.

“i think she would love that,” she said softly, reaching out to squeeze his arm in support. he smiled back, giving her a cute nod.

“well then, i believe it’s time to go meet isla y/n estapa,” he said, standing from his spot and making his way back into the hospital.

#mark estapa #mark estapa x reader #mark estapa imagine #mark estapa fic #Spotify

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cheynovak · 4 months

Text

The assistant

Reader x Soldier Boy

Warnings: Where to start... Smut 16+, Fluff, Alcohol, Cursing, unprotected sex, mentioning of rape, you name it ... (Make sure you're always protected!)

Side note: English isn’t my first language.

Words: 7331

POV: Y/N is best friend and personal assistant from Crimson Countess. The close position Y/N had and the fact that she is not a supe made it hard on her to see the things she got away with. Part from all that, she hated the fact that Crimson and Soldier Boy were dating, Y/N couldn’t stand the man! Or could she? Their mutual frustration on Crimson Countess brings them closer together.

I wanted to make this in one part but made a sequal.

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Y/N and CC (that is the nickname she gave Crimson Countess since she didn’t want to use her civilian name anymore.) are best friends since they were little kids. When CC got her spot at Payback she could choose a personal assistant, immediately she thought of Y/N, there was no one she could trust more in this world.

Y/N just got into the office and had been called to an emergency meeting with Payback. Everyone was on edge. Y/N walked in delivered CC her coffee smiled politely at Soldier Boy who clearly was in a bad mood and sat down on her chair behind Crimson. “So, if I get this right” The leader supe started to talk. “You’re punishing me, us, for the shit show TNT created?” - “Let’s not forget the mess our PR team had to cover up from your last trip with Countess. House arrest until the storm in the media is over!” Was the answer he got. Yeah, right your PR team Y/N thought, I had to clean her shit up and made sure no one knew about the casualties. Vought thought it would be a good idea to let her go on a little trip with her man to let off steam and showing the world they were the perfect IT couple. But instead, she got so frustrated with him that she tried to blow his head off, literally in the middle of Venice.

That is all they were doing lately, fighting. CC hated it that her boyfriend got all the credit, fame and success.” That old bastard is nothing without Payback.” She had told Y/N last week. “Who gives a shit he stormed Normandy. We’re fucking over 30 years past that crap.” Y/N couldn’t believe her, she wanted the fame and glory but forgot that if Soldier Boy hadn’t chosen her, she probably would still be fighting local crime. “CC don’t you think you’re overreacting, a little bit? I mean come on without him you might not be here at Vought.” The second those words left her lips Y/N realized she made a huge mistake. Crimson turned to Y/N. “YOU, you jealous bitch, that’s it isn’t, you want my success! Nooo, you want my man! I’ve seen you looking at him, smiling at him! Is that why you dressed so cute today? To impress him?” Without hesitation CC threw her piping hot coffee at her. Luckily the coffee only spilled on her dress and not her skin. Y/N decided not to react to it and walked away, knowing if she would answer, she might get fired.

“She is just not herself right now, she needs some time to cool off, you like her, you love her.” Y/N mumbled under her breath while walking in the lounge bar searching for something to clean her dress. She didn’t see Soldier Boy sitting in the corner, in one of the cosy boxes. “Trouble in paradise?” He asked not getting up. Y/N jumped up by the sound of his voice, bumping her head at the bar. “I’m sorry Soldier Boy. Didn’t see you there. I’ll be gone in a second, I’m just looking for something to get this coffee stain of my dress.” - “Don’t go, could use some company.” He said tapping the seat next to him, Y/N looked better at him this time. There were 2 empty bottles of whiskey on the table, he was working on the 3rd one. Y/N got closer, he moved so she could sit with him. “Besides, it’s Ben, but I told you that countless times before, haven’t I?” He looked at her, for the first time she dared to look him in the eye. “So, what was it this time, coffee to hot, to cold?” He nodded at the stain, Y/N sights “No, the fact that I smiled at you this morning.” Ben looked at her confused. ”You smiled at me this morning?” - “At the meeting, you looked at me I smiled instead of saying good morning. Because it clearly wasn’t a good morning for you.” She said looking at the bottles. Ben started laughing. “That jealous bitch.”

“That’s what she called me...” You said while pouring a glass for yourself. “Are you?” He asked. “Oh no, wouldn’t want to have her life.” Y/N looked at her glass. “Nothing? Not one piece of it?” He asked while trying to make eye contact. “Well, being seen or being loved is a nice thought. You know walking through these halls and when you see someone you know for years, you say hi, they at least answer or nod instead of looking at you like you’re a nobody.” She admitted “That would make it less awkward to use their first name.” She smiled at him making it very clear that she was talking about him.

Ben nodded slowly. “I’ll make sure I’ll remember it next time.” Liking her boldness.

After a couple of glassed Y/N got pretty drunk and bluntly honest, but Ben seemed to like it.

They joked around had nice conversation, even though Ben wasn’t half as drunk as she was, he trusted her. Telling Y/N why CC got on his nerves, and honestly, she understood the man especially after today. “Can I ask you something Ben?” She asked laying her hand on his arm. “Why are you still with her, if she irritates you so much?” Moving his face closer to hers. “I could ask you the same.” - “I like my job and she is my best friend since, well, forever.” She said, looking in his green eyes, waiting for his answer. Ben looked at her lips before making eye contact again. “I like her best friend.” He smiled

Y/N’s face turned red and before she could move away Ben moved even a little closer and kissed her cheek, all of the sudden she felt very sober. “I -I should probably go check on her.” Y/N said and quickly moved away.

Y/N stepped way to quick out of that room, definitely NOT playing it cool. She didn’t go back to Crimson, but instead she went for a little walk on the campus, thinking about what Ben had said. She always had a little crush on him ever since puberty, CC knew that and that was why she reacted the way she did. But Y/N knew her place, besides, since she worked for Vought her crush was quickly crushed knowing how many one-night adventures he had with actresses and such. Let alone the killing and mistakes they covered up. She had nothing against him or CC, she was even thrilled when CC told her Ben had asked her out on a date. And they had nothing against her either. But the thought that if she wasn’t ‘theirs’ and she would get hurt out in the open, they wouldn’t care. That made her almost puke, they were supposed to be the heroes.

That night Y/N didn’t sleep well, she had a dream about that moment hours earlier. She walked in with her stained dress. Ben was standing there in a tux holding champagne. ”Hi" he smiled his picture-perfect smile. Taking her hand over to a candle lit table. The entire time he looked in her eyes, touched her hand, laughed when she told a joke, interested when she told him a story about her childhood. At the end of the dream Ben had got up asked her to dance. He placed a hand at the small of her back leaning close to her and like a man enchanted with her lips he moved in, closing the space between their lips. Everything deep down she knew we wouldn’t do. When Y/N woke up she felt guilty, a little ridiculous considering it was only a dream. And comparing it to the steaming wet dreams she had about her and soldier boy as a teen, this was nothing! “God don’t think about that.” She whispered to herself. ”You are seeing him in less than an hour for the daily meeting.”

Surprisingly Y/N was first in the conference room taking her usual seat in the corner. She wisely chose a jeans with a casual shirt and her hair up with a pin. Not to get CC started on dressing up for “her man” again. Everyone entered one by one. Nobody greeted her not even CC, she looked still pissed at her and deliberately taking the seat opposite of her to make a statement. Y/N was already writing some notes down for herself not paying any attention, Ben was last to arrive, he said good morning in general, Y/N glanced for a second and moved her attention back to her paper. But instead of taking his regular seat next to CC he walked past Y/N bending over so she would notice him. “Good morning.” He winked at her like he was telling her, I remember. “Hi.” she said being flustered. Y/N’s eyes followed him back to his seat next to Crimson she saw the look on her face while she kept looking at Ben for an explanation. This is going to get them into a fight again Y/N thought, Ben was clearly ignoring her look. Although Y/N tried to stay focussed in the meeting, her eyes get glancing over at Ben, he once or twice caught her looking which made his tongue move over his lips, smirking.

After everybody got their assignments for the day they left. CC walked over for a talk. “What did Ben say to you?” - “What? Eh, good morning. Seriously CC stop being jealous.” Y/N took whatever confidence she had and decided to tell Countess her thoughts. “Listen, I’m no supe, I am a nobody, Ben chose you, you are gifted I'm not, you are HOT, I'm not ... ok. Just because I used to have a crush on him when I was 17, like by the way, half of the US, doesn’t mean I WANT your man. He just said good morning because I told him yesterday, when I was still pissed because of our fight, I told him it was damn time to recognise the normal people in the halls when they greet you.” Y/N was out of breath after that. “And if you now want to excuse me. I’ve got paperwork to do.” CC left. Y/N sighted and lowered her head in her hands. After a second or two she got up took her paperwork and left the room. “For the record. I don’t think you realize how hot you are.” Y/N was startled by that unexpected comment that she dropped her papers. “Jesus, Soldie...” But before she could finish that sentence, he wiggled his finger” Uh-uh-uh.” - Y/N rolled her eyes. “Jesus, BEN!” she corrected while picking up her papers. “Much better.” He grinned.

“How long were you standing there?” She asked when they walked towards the elevator. “Long enough to hear you finally defending yourself Sweetheart.” That nickname made you feel butterflies. They stepped in the elevator, the doors closed. “So, you had a crush on me?” He asked casually. Y/N could feel her cheeks glowing.” Eh, yeah.” Ben stepped closer to her putting his hands against the wall behind her, trapping her between his arms and body. “Now that is something you forgot to mention yesterday at our little rendezvous.” He leaned in, Y/N moved her face to the side she could hear him taking a deep breath in. “You really smell good, I never noticed before.” He said with a deeper voice than before. Y/N looked up at him, standing so close she could feel his breath on her face. The door opened Ben looked over and took a step back but not quick enough to be unnoticed by Gunpowder who entered. Ben gave him a dark glace to which he simply nodded. It looked like Ben told him “not a word” without saying a thing.

Floor 7

“This is me.” Y/N said quickly jumping out but of course Ben followed.

Y/N opened the door to her office, Ben walked in right behind her closing the door. “Is there anything else I can help you with?” She said nervous. “Yes, I want to know more about you. He said while looking around her office. Well office, it was more of a closet repainted with a window so small it looked like a prison cell.

“Why are you so nervous?” - I’m not.” She lied.

“You know I can hear your heartbeat right.’ He looked at her again.

“So, your little crush on me. You had posters?” - “Yes.” she said sitting on her desk while he looked outside. “Let me guess, movie posters?” - “Eh no, the D—day one and one where you’re not actually posing but more like talking to the soldiers. That was my favourite.” He looked shocked.

Ben walked back towards Y/N standing against her legs. Y/N had to look up almost with her head in her neck as he hovered above her. He lowered his face next to her ear placing a hand on the desk next to her thigh. “Did you ever dream of me? Of us...” He whispered not moving his face. Y/N’s heart started to beat really fast. “You did, didn’t you.” He sounded excited. “Did you ever... touch yourself thinking of me?” Ben asked while he placed a small peck on the spot under her ear. Y/N closed her eyes and sighed almost whimpered at that question. Ben got up again moving himself so he could stand between her legs. Y/N slowly opened her eyes only to see that his were darkened with lust. He moved his thumb over her lips. “I wish I could’ve seen that. You, touching yourself for the first time, experimenting with your body, searching for that one sweet spot inside that makes you go over the edge.” He swallowed deep.

Y/N’s mouth opened slightly to get more air. But instead of getting air, Ben dipped down holding Y/N’s head with both hands and kissed her hard, slipping his tongue inside finding hers quickly. The kiss wasn’t rushed, but he made sure she would be out of breath. “Ben...” she whispered. “Tell me sweetheart, you ever been with a man?” - “Yes. Once or twice. First, boyfriend” She said hesitating.

“Did it feel as good you fantasised.” he asked while kissing her neck. Y/N got shy keeping her head down. When Ben looked at her for an answer, he noticed her looking away. “What’s wrong?”

“It wasn’t really, I didn’t want... Not really.” Was all she could manage to say but Ben understood what she meant. “He just took it? Didn’t he?” Y/N nodded ashamed afraid that Ben would be repulsed by her. He did take a step back, Y/N held on to the shirt, telling him not to go. “Oh sweetheart.” He kissed the temple of her head. But Y/N didn’t want this feeling to stop, so he placed a hand on his neck pulling him in for another kiss. This time she took the lead and licked his lips. “Are you sure Y/N?” - “Yes, please.”

His lips crashed against her. His hands moved hungry over her body pulling her shirt over her head while she took his suit off. Y/N’s hands moved over his naked torso towards his hips. Her lips leaving his to follow her hands, kissing his hips while trying to undo his belt. He moaned her name. Y/N was surprised by her boldness but the heat inside her had to be satisfied. Her hands quickly found their way to his clothed bulge softly rubbing and squeezing.

Ben got wild from desire, moving down remove her shoes, jeans and panties. He looked up to lock eyes with her before kissing her clit. Y/N moaned his name while laying back at her desk.

Ben worked his way on her. Licking her folds open tasting her, dipping his tongue inside her while his hands pushed her bra up, so he could hold her breast. Softly pinching her nipples. Not even in her wildest dreams she would imagined a man doing this, but it felt so good all she could do is moan and whime. When Ben changed his tactics by pushing two fingers inside her and suck on her clit, she quickly felt the heat in her stomach grow. She lifted herself back up to look at him smirking he knew he had her on edge. And when he curled his fingers, she couldn’t hold back anymore she started screaming his name while grabbing his hair, not caring about her surroundings anymore.

After her high he stood up kissing her, Y/N could still taste herself on his tongue. It secretly made her even more horny. And while he was kissing her, she pulled his underwear off. Starting to stroke it hard cock. She was surprised it was so big, the man she had been with was nothing compared to Ben’s size. Ben saw the look on her face. “Don’t worry sweetheart, It will feel good.” He pulled her back to the edge of the desk holding her legs open. Pumping once or twice before he lined up against her wet hole. She could feel the sting, every inch he moved she could feel it, biting her lip feeling herself clenching up. “Relax, it will feel better in a second, I promise.” He said leaning in looking her in the eye. When he saw the pain disappearing, he started to thrust his hips back into her, this felt painfully slow for him, but he took his time with her.

“Ben...”

“Yes sweetheart.”

“More... harder... please.” Y/N could feel he was desperately holding back. “I’m not going to break.”

She could hear him growl at that comment. Hearing the beast in him wanting to take her so hard she wouldn’t be able to walk anymore. “I don’t want to hurt you.” He said kissing her hard. “Ben, please. Take me hard, show me what I've missed.” He pulled out lifted her up and turned her around. Laying her on her stomach on the desk. He hovered above her while he let his cock slide between her soaking folds. He could hear her beg. “Please!” He thrusted hard back in her, the sound that came out of her sounded so intense so primal, it made him growl. Ben took her so hard the desk started to shake. Y/N’s moans filled the room, it sounded like a porn movie. He pulled her back by her hips so he could push in even harder and deeper. Ben felt she was close, her cunt started to tighten around his dick. “Come on baby let go. Fuck, come hard on my dick, I want to feel you riding out that orgasm on me.” Y/N screamed his name like a prayer, he felt her shacking and clenching around him. He felt he couldn’t hold much longer he pulled out and started to pump his cock. She felt the warm liquid dribble on her ass while Ben was panting behind her.

Ben took a few tissued out of the box at her desk, cleaning Y/N up. Before turning her around and kiss her again. “That was... better than my dreams.” She admitted. Ben clearly felt joy of that comment. “Well, I hope we can do this more often. Because I wasn’t lying when I told you that I like you.” He said still out of breath. He got dressed again kissed her head and left her sitting at her desk while he walked through the door. Y/N had no idea how she could recover from that and how she had to get through the day. From that moment on Ben kept his eye on her. Looking at her while she was writing in meetings, listening to conferences, hell even when she was having lunch. He tried to act normal but couldn’t help himself wanting to know more about her. She seemed so pure and delicate.

One day almost a week later he saw her sitting by herself at lunch working like always. He decided to join her. Y/N’s eyes got big when he sat down. “What are you doing?” - “Eating.” He answered cocky. - “No, I mean, why are you sitting here?” Y/N looked around to see if CC was around. Lucky she wasn’t, she had told Y/N that Ben acted strange but didn’t know why. But other people were looking at them. “Ben, people are staring.” she whispered hanging over the table. But when Ben turned to look at them, they all quickly moved or turned away. “So, what are you working on?” He asked while taking a bite.” - “Really, small talk?” She said looking him in the eye. “You rather have me taking you here on the table?” He said smiling. - “Your Christmas Party. I’m organising it.” She said not to react to his last request. “It’s this weekend, I'm making the guest list.” - “You’re coming?” - “No, I, never, I’m spending it with family.” He nodded looking sad. After the weird interaction at lunch Y/N worked her week as usual.

On Christmas she went home to her parents where she officially still lived. “Y/N honey I’ve invited Dylan and his parents to celebrate with us. Y/N’s heart sunk thinking about Dylan being there. Her first boyfriend who didn’t understood a “no” for answer. Great she thought, hearing my folks talking about what a great item we could have been if I didn’t ended things. “You know, you could have been married by now, if you didn’t broke up.” Your mom said like she could hear your thoughts.

The evening went seemingly smooth, Dylan kept mostly to himself, but then again, he didn’t have anything to drink yet. 9 pm the bell rang. You looked confused at your mom. “Where expecting someone else mom?” - “Not that I know of.” she looked at your father. Y/N opened the door. “What are you doing here?” Y/N said surprised.

“Y/N honey, who is it?” your mom walked towards the door. ”Oh my! Soldier Boy! Sir, please come in.” - Ben smirked walking past Y/N. “Thank you ma’am. You have a beautiful house.”

“To what do we own this pleasure, sir?” Your father got out of his chair shaking his hand. “Well, since Y/N couldn’t make it to our party I thought, why not deliver her present myself. Locking eyes with her while handing her a small box. Y/N opened it knowing very well that the employees never get anything other than a thankyou speech. Covering her mouth seeing what he bought her. “Oh my! Are those pearls?!” She looked at him with an open mouth. “My boss never gave us such gifts!” Her mother looked over at Dylan’s mom. “Well, Y/N works day and night for us. Making sure we are... satisfied. She deserves a little extra.”

“I don’t know what to say... eh, Thank you.” Y/N felt she could kiss him but instead she just went for a hug which Ben gladly accepted. “Dessert? Or maybe a drink?” Y/N asked flustered pulling away. “Why not.” he answered not letting her fully go.

Y/N introduced everyone to Ben, who in his turn used his charm to win over your mom and Dylan's mom. Both women were impressed by his manners.

When Ben sat next to your father who was watching a documentary about the 2nd world war they started to talk about "the good old days." Y/N started to clean up the table Ben caught Dylan trying to get Y/N's attention. When she was looking through the vinyl's he got up and stood next to her. "I thought CC was your boss?" He asked rubbing his hand between your shoulders. Y/N moved gracefully away trying to avoid his touch. "I am her assistant. But Soldier Boy pretty much owns all of Vought." She looked over at him while explaining. Ben caught her glance clearly hearing every word they said, she looked a little scared.

"Dylan..." Ben started talking to your dad. "Is he family?" Without looking up your father answered. "Oh no, he was her high school boyfriend they used to date for a while. We all loved for them to end up together. But for some reason she decided to be an independent woman." - "He is always this... close?" Ben asked feeling his frustrations grow. "Close... a hand on her hips, a kiss on the cheek, woman nowadays can't stand anything anymore am I right?" He laughs looking at Ben who was already heading towards Y/N and Dylan. "Hey Buddy, can't you see she doesn't like you touching her." Ben said while he moved in between the two of you. Ben seemed like a giant next to Dylan. "We were just talking man." -"Well, try to talk with a little more respect and a little less hands. Maybe then you will be able to keep a fine woman." Dylan walked away like a dog that had been hit.

"Are you going to be ok sweetheart?" Ben asked when he was ready to leave. Y/N nodded and looked at him thankful. "Well, ma'am the dessert was delicious, but I've got to go. Can't miss my own party." He said to your mother. "Always welcome!" Y/N walked Ben to the door. "Next time, give me a heads up." She laughed. Ben looked over your shoulder making sure no one had followed you before he pulled you in by your hips, for a kiss. "I've missed those soft lips of yours, I even dreamed of them." He whispered while kissing your neck. "Ben! Not here." She said pulling him away. "I have missed you too." - "Well, will you think off me tonight?" Y/N noticed the arousal in his voice. "I know I will..." Y/N pulled him in for a kiss, her tongue finding his quick. Ben's hands moving to her ass pinching softly. Letting go to wave him goodbye.

After the party at Vought.

Ben darling, I've got a surprise for you. Countess walked in the room, wearing lingerie in her signature colour. Crawling over the bed pulling the sheets down. Ben held her shoulders. "Not tonight." Crimson Countess looked confused at him. "Oh baby, so stressed... let me take care of you." she dipped under the sheets and started to give him a blow job. Ben wanted to stop her but instead he closed his eyes and start fantasising it was Y/N working her lips on him. "Oh sweetheart" He moaned. When Countess wanted to move on, he held her making sure she would finish what she started. "Don't stop sweetheart, I'm close." After he came in her mouth, he pushed her aside. Countess was clearly confused by his actions.

The next weekend.

Y/N walked beside CC she had texted her that morning she needed a talk before the New Year's Eve party. "Have you talked to Ben lately?" She opened the conversation. "Eh no, not really why?" Y/N asked nervous knowing very well she was avoiding Ben. "He, he is acting weird, last week he didn't want to have sex and since then he only touches himself, I can hear him in the shower... Him... the man is practically walking sex on a stick! And when I started to give him a blow job that night, he called me sweetheart... He never, ever called me that." Y/N started to panic. "Y/N can you talk to him? Or find out who the whore is he is seeing? I need to know who I need to fry." Leaving her standing scared as hell in the hall.

The party was one like every party they throw. But Y/N didn’t like it, she couldn’t stop thinking about what CC told her. Ben doesn't want her anymore... But Y/N couldn’t contain her nerves around all these drunk supes, so after an hour or two she left for the elevators. She kept thinking, Ben called her sweetheart before and told her he would be thinking of her that night... Did he mean it? She was so deep in her thoughts that she didn't see Ben standing behind her until he slipped in the elevator with her. "Where are we going?" He laughs charmingly "I'm sorry Ben, but this party not my cup of tea. I'm heading home." - "Ok, I'll take you, you never know who is out there at night." "You really don't have to, my car is parked in the garage." she said while remembering what CC told her. But Ben refused to leave her side.

Once home he asked about Dylan. "Is he the guy who..." -"Yes, and I don't want to talk about it." Y/N said quickly walking to the kitchen grabbing something to drink. Ben moved closer to her placing his hands on her hips pulling her in. She could already feel the bulge in his pants grow. "Where is everyone?" he asked kissing her neck "Out with friends. They won't be home till later. Tomorrow is little family breakfast to celebrate the first of Januari, here at this house. So, you can't stay." She said trying her best not to give in.

"Hm, I only need a few hours." He turned her around and kissed her hard. He was glad she chose a dress tonight. His hands moved under it, pulling her panties off, lifting her up putting her on the kitchen table, rubbing her clit with his thumb while his fingers found their way to her folds. He continued kissing her. Y/N's nails dug into his shoulders and moaned his name. "Ben... not here. Not on this table... upstairs." She managed to say. Ben took a step back and followed her to her room. Y/N closed the door and pushed Ben against it. The heat in her was unstoppable. They ripped each others clothes off. Ben threw her on the bed so hard she bounced back. "Open those pretty legs for me sweetheart." He said while pumping his cock. He quickly placed himself between her legs pushing hard inside her. "Oh, sweetheart I've missed this pussy.” Y/N felt every inch off him as he bottoms out in her. “You feel so good. So tight." He huffed while trusting hard in her. "Oh Ben, this, you, feels so good." She moaned. For some reason Y/N felt that Ben was smoother in his touches and moves, more... loving even though he was still taking her hard.

Y/N didn’t need much tonight, Ben was everywhere on her body kissing and licking her. She could feel her orgasm climbing. “Ben... don’t stop.” She said while her hands moved between them. Ben stopped her. ”I got you sweetheart.” He lifted her legs higher over his shoulder while he rubbed her clit. She came faster and harder than she had ever experienced. After her high Ben dropped her legs and closed the space between their bodies. He held her shoulders and placed his head in her neck. “Oh baby, I won’t be able to hold it much longer.” He whined in her ear. “It’s ok Ben, do it, let go, I want to feel you come.” Her hearing saying that made him growl. “Come inside me, please...” She begged him. As Y/N wrapped her legs tighter around his hips she felt his thrust to get sloppy. “That’s it Ben, come for me.” With a primal grunt Ben came hard inside you. Not only his hips were pushed as hard as he could against you, but his entire body held your close to his.

He started to relax but didn’t move. You caressed his broad shoulders and back with your fingertips while kissing his head. “Oh god, that felt... really good.” He said while lifting himself off you and took the place next to you on the bed. He kissed Y/N softly. “I’m going to take a quick shower.” Y/N said. Quickly leaving the bed with Ben in it. He looked puzzled so followed you to the bathroom. He opened the curtain and stepped in the shower behind you. His hand started to move over your shoulders to your breast, kissing your neck. “Y/N...” He started but didn’t finish. Y/N turned around looking at him. “Are you ok?” - “Why wouldn’t I be?” “Well, you couldn’t be faster out that bed. Didn’t you ... like it? I know it was a little quick but not that fast.” He looked worried. “Oh no Ben, I'm satisfied trust me, I don’t think I can survive another round, it’s just...” Y/N was thinking how to say this.

“CC knows there is something going on. She told me this morning. And I’m worried.” - “What did she say?” He asked washing her breasts and tummy. “Well, that you refuse to make love with her, that the last time, when she gave you a blowjob on Christmas you called her sweetheart and that you never call her that.” Y/N’s face turned red. “Thats true. I never call anyone sweetheart.” He said locking eyes with her. “Part from you.” He smirked “Y/N, last time I was intimate with her, I could only do it...” He stepped closer to her “Thinking it were your soft plump lips working on me.” he touched her lips with his thumb. “Is that what you fantasize about?” Y/N asked feeling nervous. He nodded “I’ve never, given...” “I know.” he kissed her soft, she felt him getting half hard again against her.

Y/N looked up at him turning so that his back was against the shower wall. “But I would love to try.” She said while her hands were traveling down. She wrapped her hands around his shaft pumping, every time she got to his tip, she’d move her thumb over it. Ben’s eyes darkened with lust. Y/N got on her knees looking up at him. First kissed the tip taking her time to travel all the way down. Ben held her hair up without forcing her. When her warm lips wrapped around head of his cock moving down to the shaft, he couldn’t resist a moan. “Oh sweetheart, you feel better than I thought.” She slowly builds speed, moving her tongue, searching for all the things Ben seemed to enjoy. When she moved one hand to hold his balls, she saw his head fall back when his hand tugged a little harder. Bingo, she thought.

“Relax your throat baby” He said, while pushing her a little closer. Y/N felt the tears sting in her eyes but couldn’t hold back a moan. Ben guided her to the speed he liked and when she got it on her own, he started to sigh and moan her name. “That’s it, keep that mouth working Y/N...”

“Oh, sweetheart if you don’t want me to come in that pretty mouth of yours you need to let me pull out now.” She moaned at the idea of him filling her mouth, tasting his semen. “You sure?” He could barely ask out of breath. When she nodded, she could feel him coming. Lucky for her he just came inside her, so this time it wasn’t as much as usual. Ben helped her up. “That was so good.” he kissed her.

They got back in bed. “You should leave in a minute.” Y/N said. “You are kicking me out?” Ben said, clearly amuses, he thought that was funny coming from her. “Not before I got to hold you. Without running to the bathroom.” He teases her. But she gladly accepted. Ben held her close, her ear on his heart, his arms around her, the sound of it beating made her fall asleep faster than anticipated. So did he. The next morning Ben woke up to a noise, coming from the kitchen. He looked at the clock. 9AM.

He looked at Y/N who was still laying on his chest. Proud he smiled thinking to let her sleep for a few more minutes.

“Y/N sweetheart it’s time to wake up.” your mom opened the door. “Oh, oh I'm so sorry.” she looked away. “Good morning.” Ben smiled not even the least bit embarrassed to be caught in her daughter’s bed. “Breakfast is ready and most of the family is already arrived.” She said before leaving the room. “Thanks, we’ll be down in a sec.” Ben noticed Y/N slowly woke up. “Were you just talking?” She asked with a sleepy head. “Yeah, your mom told me breakfast is ready.” Ben answered casually. “WHAT!” Y/N jumped up. “Yeah, and your family is already here.” - “Oh, no no no, I need to get you out of here!” Ben pulled her on his lap. ”Or, I could stay.” he said while kissing, breathing heavy. “You are insane.” She looked at him. “What are they going to do? Your mother already saw me.”

You and Ben started to get dressed when you heard a knock on the door. Ben opened the door. “Honey, your aunt Martha is also downstairs, now that Soldier Boy is here, maybe he could you know, say something.” She smiled shy. Ben looked with a lot of questions at you. Y/N quickly explained. “Aunt Martha used to be a back-up dancer for you. “Don’t worry, I got it.” Ben said placing a hand on your mother’s shoulders. ”Besides, please call me Ben” He worked his charm again on her. “Oh, so sweet of you, you can call me Mary.” “You really don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.” You said to Ben when your mom left again. “My pleasure” he said kissing your lips before heading down. You heard your mom saying that she needs another chair, whispering that her daughter wasn’t alone last night.

You both walked in the dining room, all eyes on Ben who had no choice but to wear his suit. But he made a wise choice to leave the protective gear and weapons upstairs. Now it looked like a green long-sleeved shirt with a turtleneck and green pants and combat boots. You quickly noticed that your parents had invited Dylan and his family again. Y/N loved the look on his face when he recognised Ben. Your mother was so over the moon to show off that she now was on first name basis with the world most famous superhero she over did her performance. “Ben sweety, coffee?” She asked in her sweeter than honey voice. But Ben understood the assignment “That would be amazing, Mary.” He winked at her. Then he looked over at your Aunt Martha. ”I’m sorry but, have we met before?” You could see her eyes twinkle. “Well, met not really, I used to be a back-up dancer and an extra in one of your movies.” “What movie? “ He asked and then pretended to think. “Maggy, no ... Martha? Am I right?” Smooth, very smooth Y/N thought.

Ben seemed to have won over the woman. It surprises you how civilized he is in a setting like this. He listened to the stories that were told at the table even laughed at the silly jokes. He placed his hand on your chair rubbing his thumb over your shoulder. Y/N could see her dad giving criticising looks over at the two of you, after a while he got up and walked over. “Ben, I was wondering. You are raised with older classic principals, being born in, what was it 1918?

”September 1919.”He corrected him.“ And I guess you can say so.” “That makes you what over 50 years old.” Y/N closed her eyes knowing where this was going. “And as a man with influence at that age I can only imagen you have “enjoyed” the company of many women over these years.” He looked over at Martha, who knew how many of her colleague dancers were treated on a night with Soldier Boy himself, every year she would brag about her adventures and how she managed to stay a virgin until marrying your uncle.

“So, why is it that a man as yourself all of the sudden, after 4 years working for you and your girlfriend, her best friend Countess, is interested in my Babygirl?” He continued his interrogation. But Ben stayed cool. “Well, A few weeks ago we shared a heart-to-heart talk about our frustrations at Vought. And other things. And that was when I realised Y/N and I have a lot in common. Besides Crimson Countess and me that is a publicity stunt, nothing real about it. ” “ In common...” Your father echoed. “She is in her 20s she has nothing in common with a man who is the same age as her parents. Beside and I’m sure you would agree, being raised traditionally, that a young woman needs a husband, a respected man like Dylan to start a family, but that isn’t possible if she is... soiled.”

“DAD!” ”Richard!” You and your mom yell at the same time. This time Ben got slowly up and took a step closer to him. “Soiled?” He smirked getting really irritated by now.

“You think I made your daughter do anything she didn’t want to?” Ben stood eye to eye with him.

“I’m not saying that, I’m just wondering how much power a man like yourself has over an innocent young woman.” Y/N could see Ben clench his fist, she quickly got up to hold his hand. “Dad, Ben never forced me into doing anything. Better yet, the one man who did force himself on to me, who as you put is so gracefully soiled me, is the one you and mom keep inviting even though I begged you two not to.” Y/N looked at her mom with tears in your eyes. “Do you have any idea how difficult it was to find someone who I can trust.” Y/N’s tears started to fall of her cheeks. “And yes, Ben might be older and made terrible mistakes, but he is the first person who tries his best for me, who tries to be a better man, instead of forcing me into doing something I don’t want because he is my boyfriend and then eat and drink at our table without regret!” Ben placed a hand on her back what made Y/N stand taller now. ” If that means I have to accept that I won’t be having a family or need to live in his shadow, be a secret, I will...”

Ben looked surprised by Y/N’s words. ”Sweetheart, I’m not planning on keeping you a secret.” “B-But CC, Vought?” Y/N looked hopeful at him. “Crimson can be replaced, maybe she can finally work on her one-woman act.”

“I would lose my job.” - “You said it yourself, I’m practically Vought, If I say you stay you stay. I’ll create a new job for you or make you head of public relations at Vought.” Ben meant what he said. “Or I could hang up the suit, start a family, if that is what you want...” Y/N’s eyes grew big. “I, eh, I do need some time to think... About all of the above.” Ben kissed her, let me know when you ready.

Since the party was over, Y/N decided to stay at the Vought tower for a couple of days, taking a spare room. Ben walked in. ”Alright, let’s talk about it...”

If you liked this, please check out my masterlist for other stories.

#fanfic #fluff #the boys tv #the boys #the boys amazon #soldier boy #soldier boy x reader #smut #angst #fem reader #x reader

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dorayakichan · 8 months

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Windbreaker: first meeting + confession + dating headcanon (Part 2)

Pairing: Kaneshiro, Noah, Ryohei x gn!reader

Fluff

Kaneshiro

It was through Momoko, your friend that you were able to meet Kaneshiro. After you had gone to the U.S. when you were young, you still kept in touch with your best friend Momoko. So the first thing you did when you came back was meet up with her.

On that day you had decided to have a sleepover together so you would be staying at her house. When you went into her house with her to greet her grandfather you saw a girl with silver hair talking with him. As you greeted him and both of you left your eyes couldn’t stop glancing at her. As soon as you went into your room you asked your friend.

“Who was that girl?” “That’s Dakeda Kaneshiro, leader of the Kazuma crew. You have heard about the Kazuma crew right?” You stared blankly at her.

“They are the most famous biking crew in Japan and Kaneshiro is a 3 times world winner.” “Ahh…uhhh…wow” It was too much information to take in for you but nodded remembering the fact that her grandfather was a bike manufacturer.

After that, you and Momoko continued talking until dinner time came. As dinner came and passed by you weren’t able to see that girl again.

It was late at night after having talked some more and watched a movie, Momoko had fallen asleep, leaving you awake with nothing to do besides going out for some fresh air.

As you sat outside on one of the stools you didn’t notice a figure come and sit right next to you. “Couldn’t sleep?” You jumped, hearing the voice that came right next to you but calmed as you saw Kaneshiro's calm side profile looking at the moon. As your eyes landed on her they were unable to stop gazing at her beautiful features, she was incredibly dazzling. Yet she gave off an extremely unapproachable vibe.

“What? Too lost in my beauty?” she mockingly asked.

“Yeah…” You nodded only seconds later to realize what you had just said as you saw her eyes widen turning in your direction.

“I…I..but you actually are.” You lowered your head, fidgeting with your hands as your voice became barely above a whisper.

A chuckle escaped her mouth as she noticed your embarrassed state.

The next day you were so embarrassed you would have preferred never waking up after what you did last night. Were you crazy? How could you say such things to a complete stranger maybe it was the atmosphere you thought as you reached the door of the bathroom. Before going in you slapped hard your face trying to stop the surge of more thoughts. The door opened to reveal none other than Kaneshiro, eyes flickering for some seconds into a shock gazing at your red cheeks which you had just slapped seconds ago.

Now you had done it.

The breakfast was so awkward when you saw Kaneshiro coming there too. So awkward that even your friend who was trying to strike up a conversation with you noticed how you had completely lost it.

“Is everything okay?” Momoko asked after you finished breakfast. Only to spend the next 30 minutes listening to how you had made a fool of yourself in front of Kaneshiro.

“But why are you so worried, It’s not like you will have to cross paths with her in the future?” an extremely true fact and that’s how you went with your day and week telling yourself that it could happen it was not like you would have an encounter with her ever again.

“Yep, never again,” you said to yourself only to walk down the street with your ice cream, trip on your own two legs, and fall, with ice cream spilling all over your shirt. “Damn it.”

“You should see where you’re walking.”Kaneshiro's voice rang threw your ears as you raised your head meeting eyes with her. Great another one. As Kaneshiro helped you up you could see behind her two other guys one with black long hair and a scar in his eye and another with a Yankee kind of hairstyle. “Who is that Kaneshiro?” one of them asked.

She looked at you as you waited for her response, clearly intimidated by the two men and extremely flustered. “My friend.”

That’s basically how it all started your friendship with Kaneshiro. You two would meet up more and although you had no idea about bikes and stuff she taught you a lot as you also taught her a lot about your interests and passions too.

After weeks of knowing each-other, you could definitely see that you felt more than just, respect and love as a friend for her, it was something more. It was not admiration either. That’s how you started noticing the signs of how you would stare at her lips and imagine how they would feel if you could kiss them. When she talked, listening to her voice made you feel so comfortable and happy. When her eyes stared into yours, how your heart would start beating fast.

It was obvious you had fallen for the Dakeda Kaneshiro. Fallen so deep and so hard you had no idea what to do with those feelings, as you didn’t want to destroy what you had. But one day your parents called you asking to go back to the U.S. You had to start university soon.

It was a hard decision you made that day choosing to keep those feelings to yourself or expressing it all and leaving like that. Neither was a good option. One would hurt you but the other how would it make Kaneshiro feel? No matter what her answer was.

So you decided to pour all your heart and soul into a conversation you had with Momoko and to your surprise minutes after that you saw Kaneshiro come close to where you both were sitting.

“Hi!” you awkwardly greeted her hoping she had not heard what you said. “So I guess you’re a coward after all.” Kaneshiro left after saying what she had to say.

“I guess this is your last chance.” your friend said encouraging you to go after her. So that’s what you did running to her. “Kaneshiro wait…” you said but she did not stop walking, going towards the place where she was going to meet her crew, as some of the guys looked at you with annoyed expressions as you tried to talk to Kaneshiro and followed her. But you did not care, it was your last chance.

“DAKEDA KANESHIRO I LIKE YOU” you screamed at the top of your lungs. She stilled in her place not turning around as the eyes of her crew widened, witnessing the scene in front of them.

“I don’t like you as a friend though, I have feelings for you that go beyond friendship. In the beginning, I wasn’t sure what these feelings were and I felt that it was not right to feel like this for you as I didn’t want you to hate me or stop being my friend. But with time I understood that I just couldn’t stop them…” You paused “I…I wanted to hold you, I wanted to hug you and kiss you. I wanted us to go on dates, I wanted you to look at me as more than just a friend, I started being greedy for more. That’s why I could not dare express my feelings. How could such an amazing person like you like me back? So that’s why when I found out I had to leave I thought that maybe it was better to keep these feelings buried in me forever, at least I would not have left you confused or sad or angry with me.”

“Ha…” she sighed as she turned walking up to you. “What an idiot,” she said as she proceeded to kiss you.

After that you both started dating when you went to university. It was sad to be apart and missing her sometimes it was too much yet you both endured. When she had races that required her to come to the U.S., no matter where, you would go and meet her.

When you had finally finished your bachelor studies you decided to get your master's in Japan. Having been apart from her for so long had been hard. After you went back although you were scared if everything would be okay. It really went well. Kaneshiro was a loyal one in love with you and only you, most of all she was the only one able to deal with your antics and clumsiness.

From her point of view, those things were what made you even more adorable in her eyes. How could she leave without you in her life when you brought the most smiles and happiness into hers? It was not possible now you were everything to her as she was to you.

Noah

You met Noah when she came to Korea bothering Jay each and every second trying to race with him. She did not talk to you as she walked up to Jay speaking in english and asking him to race for the nth time.

“Who is she?” You asked Jay, who turned to look at you and then shrugged it off going past her.

“Bye,” he told you as he entered inside his home, not even giving Noah an acknowledging look.

“Aghhh” she began hitting the wall in anger. “So I believe you want to race with Jay right?” you asked her, trying to start a conversation. “Whatever…” she said not even glancing at you and walking in the same direction you were supposed to go to reach home.

You followed her walking behind her, until she snapped and turned in your direction. “What do you want? Why are you following me?” You were startled for a second and extended your hand pointing in the direction of your home. “Because I live there?” you said questioningly.

As her eyes followed your hand, she stared for some seconds and turned to walk away. Just as she was about to take another step her stomach started growling. “Are you hungry?” you asked her as she turned once again with a very subtle look of embarrassment and annoyance on her face.

“I’m a great cook,” you informed her, not expecting an answer back. “If not, I can also order take-out.”

That is how Noah ended up having dinner at your house that day and even sleeping in. The next morning, you also gave her breakfast, and the more you did this stuff for her the less aggressive she became towards you. ‘She resembles a stray kitten.’ you thought, chuckling to yourself.

“What are you laughing at?” Noah who had just come out of the shower asked. “Nothing.” You brushed it off, asking her something that would pique her interest. “So you want to race with Jay right?” she nodded. “Then, I guess I could talk to him about this when I go to school.” You said as you took your bag. “If you want you can stay here,” you offered her.

You knew she was just a stranger but you felt no bad vibes coming from her besides her aggressiveness and her persistence to race Jay she seemed okay. So you were not worried.

After that, some time passed until she was finally able to race, and then Harry came too, welcoming himself into your home. While you did not mind as you sometimes felt lonely living in that big house, you noticed how you had changed the way you looked at Noah. Sometimes as she talked with Harry you felt jealous of how they communicated so well with each-other, You also felt slightly annoyed how you had to go to school or help the guys train as all you wanted was to spend more time with Noah.

It took a very long time before you were able to finally express your feelings to Noah as she was packing her bags to leave you slipped a written letter in the pocket of her jacket, where you had basically told her all about how you felt.

Some months passed after she left and you felt lonely and very sad. She had never said anything after that, not even texted or called you. Maybe she had read the letter, but she did not want to reply. You had failed…or so you thought.

It was 2 a.m. when you heard a sound, your front door unlocking. Imagine the fright as you took the lamp ready to hit the intruder in the head, only for the light to flicker on as you came face to face with Noah. “What do you think you’re doing?” Noah looked displeased, as she left her luggage in the door and went to sit on the couch. “What?..... Why at this hour?...How?...” You had just woken up alarmed, previously scared that there was an intruder and now coming face to face with the girl you had a big crush on.

“Didn’t you say in your letter that I was always welcome and if you had to you’d be waiting for me?” she asked, not waiting for a response as she continued. “I come all this way and I’m greeted by you trying to murder me.” “You read my letter?” you interrupted her as you continued standing while looking shocked at her.

“Yeah..” she turned her head so you were not able to see her facial expression as you strode towards Noah sitting next to her. “But you didn't text me or at least reply or anything at all. I thought you…” “Just shut up! I’m here so I guess you got your answer.” She continued looking on the other side. “What answer?” you asked perplexed were you maybe forgetting something?

“The one in the letter!” She faced you, glaring. “You’re eyes widened remembering the last sentence you had written, to her now understanding why she had not answered. You were such an idiot.”

‘Noah if you think or even have made a decision that you maybe, like me back, then the next time you come find me and we meet I’ll take it as a yes from you.’

Yep, you were the biggest idiot to ever exist, you had totally forgotten about that part. Not wasting any more time you embraced her into a warm hug leaving Noah speechless, Cupping her cheeks you gave her a peck on the lips. Noah was shocked as you saw the color change in her face, she became red so red, she could resemble a tomato. “Ok, whatever. I'm hungry.” She walked away as you chuckled going to the kitchen to prepare some food for your girlfriend.

Dating Noah was fun especially as she was so easy to tease. You had so much fun every time you saw her redden after you had thrown a flirting comment at her out of nowhere. Or how she would come cuddling next to you, whenever you were asleep or thought so because she did not want to admit that her body craved yours, the need to be held close to you.

You had come like a small ray of light in her world and now you were the sun that warmed her world, Noah could never go back anymore to a world without you.

Ryohei

During your visit to Japan with Jay, Shelly, Dom, and TJ, you first met Ryohei when his gang was about to start a fight with the guys due to none other than TJ acting as if he was tough.

You facepalmed yourself as you were about to intervene hearing TJ’s words which only you could understand because besides him you were the only one who knew Japanese, but stopped when you saw Ryohei walk in the middle saying sorry and leaving just like that with a fake smile on his face.

‘That was weird.’ you thought as you went straight to the place where Jay would repair his bike.

The second time you saw Ryohei was when Dom suggested the team battle. After they left and Jay, Dom, Noah, and Harry agreed to become a team together, you went to find a good place to eat. Noticing how none of them seemed to be thinking about the most important thing, especially before a race. As you finally found the restaurant, you texted everyone the location, waiting for them before going inside.

That’s when you notice a familiar black-haired face walking inside an alley not far from the restaurant. As you had nothing better to do you decided to follow. Those Kazuma crew guys gave you a weird vibe, so why not observe them for a bit?

As you followed behind him he turned into a corner and then another as you arrived on a road with no way out you heard a voice behind you. “Looking for me?” You backed away startled.

“Didn’t we say we would have the team battle with you and your friends later today? Why are you following me?” you had no excuse.

“Can’t I follow someone I’m suspicious of?” you chose to come out with the truth rather than try to make up excuses. “Hmm..suspicious?”

He moved away from you. Lighting a cigar while crouching down with his back close to the wall. Your eyes followed him as you waited, not sure for what. “Shouldn’t we be suspicious of you more than you are of us? Friend of Mahon Jo’s nephew?” “I have no idea what your deal is with Jay’s uncle but I mean you first messed with us, plus you look like a gang, while we only came here with no other intention besides fixing Jay’s bike.” “That garbage?” He said, chuckling.

“I don’t see the point of even trying for something like that but sure go ahead if you can.” You had to admit Jay’s bike was in horrible shape, a miracle needed to occur for it to actually be repaired. So although you got annoyed by what he said you decided to change the topic as you went next to him with your back against the wall as your eyes stared at his crouched figure.

“Whatever…I just wanted to make sure, you won’t pull any tricks later.” “As if we need to.” “You’re pretty confident you know?” “Isn’t it normal?” he asked you. “I mean I get it you are one of the best crews in the world and stuff…but those guys are no joke either.” “We’ll see, " he said, getting up.”

He came closer to where you were standing, slightly lowering his head. “It’s dangerous following strangers around, you were just lucky today,” Ryohei whispered in your ear, leaving you there.

After the battle had finished and Jay had finally woken up, it was late at night when you remembered how you had forgotten your jacket where the race had happened. “It’s an expensive one.” You told Shelly and Dom as you got up to go retrieve it, going there alone after refusing to be accompanied by either of them. They had already gone through so much, that they needed to rest.

“I’ll be quick,” you told them running, not leaving them a chance to protest.

As you arrived at the place you saw a gang of guys, wearing some jackets that looked like the Kazuma crew logo talking amongst each-other. You tried to walk inconspicuously, but your efforts were for nothing as you heard someone say. “Wasn’t that person with those ‘Light Cavalry’ and the korean nobody bastards?” “Yeah, I think they were.” You acted like you didn’t hear them as you walked trying to see where you had dropped it.

“Hey, you!” One of them said which went to deaf ears as you continued searching. “Hey, answer when I call you!” That same one said as they yanked your arm, making you face them.

“Let go!” you answered him. “What if I don’t?” He mocked you as the guys in the back laughed. “I’ll show you what it means to mess with me,” you answered as you got ready to kick him.

“Leave them alone.” A voice you had now gotten accustomed to said coming from the other direction. “Oh, Ryohei this…” but the guy was unable to finish his sentence as Ryohei ordered. “Take your hands off.” He walked closer to where you both were standing as the other guy let you go.

“Didn't you come here to retrieve something?” he asked you as you were about to leave. You turned towards him as he extended his arm giving you your jacket. “Thanks!” You said extending your arm to take it, only for him to put it behind his back. “Didn’t I tell you to be careful last time?” He said. “I wasn’t following anyone.”

“Come with me.” He took you somewhere else far from his gang as he sat down on a bench. “I told you before that you were lucky, but I think it ran out now.” You stared at him. “C’mon sit.” He patted the place next to him. You complied, hoping he would give you that jacket as soon as possible.

“Just get to the point, What do you want?” You asked, crossing your arms. “A date.” “A WHAT?” you shouted getting up. His eyes were serious this time as they looked at you. “You don’t want your jacket back?” “I..want it but this has nothing to do with what we were talking about right now. “And I also told you it’s dangerous but you walk in the middle of the night near a gang as if you’re going to the park with no fear in your eyes. This is your punishment for not heeding my advice. Come on a date with me and I’ll give you back your jacket.” Leaving you speechless as he vanished from your sight.

That is how you ended up going on a date with Ryohei. With the Kazuma crew guy out of nowhere! During the date, you were finally able to notice why he was being like that to you. He definitely liked you, you thought to yourself as you saw him acting shy when your hands almost brushed. ‘Is this guy for real?’ you asked bewildered.

Besides that one date, you went on more dates. You both also started calling and texting on the phone often until he finally confessed. Due to his weird approach in the beginning you had your doubts but with time you understood that was just the way he was and you started crushing on him more and more.

So when he finally confessed you warned him: “You sure you won’t regret it? I’m a handful.” He smiled as he pushed you towards the wall nearby. “Never.” Was his answer as he latched his lips with yours, devouring all he could get of you.

So you started dating. Ryohei wasn’t the type to express it much when there were people around but as soon as you both were alone he would engulf you in his embrace and kiss every part of you, whispering how much he adored you.

From his appearance, you had never expected him to be this way, but he was extremely touchy when you both were alone so much that you sometimes asked yourself how was this guy so different when he was with you in comparison to others.

He was also very patient and understanding and would always worry about you if you tried doing something reckless. The more time went by, the more you fell deep in the abyss of love for him. It was certain now you both were smitten for each-other and there was no way this feeling would change for a very long time.

#windbreaker webtoon #windbreaker x reader #windbreaker headcanon #dakeda kaneshiro #kazuma crew #noah x reader #noah windbreaker #ryohei windbreaker #kaneshiro windbreaker

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pynkgothicka · 9 months

Text

ＥａｔＩｔＵｐＰＪＭ

Synopsis - You willingly agree to help watch over your friend's house while she's gone (Part 4 of the Monster Series.)

Pairing - Yandere! Dark! Alien! Park Jimin x AFAB! Reader

Featuring - Rina Sawayama

Tags and Warnings - Death, Stalking, Non-Con touching but nothing explicit he's just touching her

Authors Note - This is the first challenge I've done where I'm actually gonna complete it lol

“Hey, how would you like to make some extra bucks.” You stood in your kitchen, phone on speaker. Your friend, Rina called you, and being your literal best friend of course you'd hear her out.

“Hmm? What's up?”

“I have to out on a trip, fashion week in Paris actually. And I kind of need someone to watch my house.” Rina states, being heard to take a bite of some chips. “And I need you here by tomorrow. Late notice I know.”

You let out a sigh. “Uhhh I don't know, I'd have to pack tonight and then move some money around.” You poured yourself a bowl of cereal. Rina could be hear giggling on the other end.

“Just bring yourself and some clothes. You can eat my food and if you run out they'll be some cash to get more. Listen I'm just desperate, I really need someone to stay for a few weeks.” Your friend pleaded. You chuckle before speaking.

“Okay Okay! I'll come tomorrow morning.” You say taking a bite of the fruit loops you poured for yourself. “What time you need me.”

“6.”

“I'll be there.”

🛸

You had a duffle bag full of clothes as you got dropped off in front of the desolate white home. Rina was pretty well off, her home being two story with a nice balcony. You rung the door bell, Rina opening the door quickly. “I told you I'd be here.”

“Your here early, literally it's 5:30.” She said laughing. She pulled you in for a hug and allowed you to walk in. The house was very uncharacteristically quiet. She usually has music playing for ambiance or a television on. But there was nothing.

But you let it go for now.

“Okay, so you can sleep in my room. And on my bed is around 1000 bucks.” Your eyes widen as you follow her up the stairs.

“God, how much money do you think I spend!” You say laughing as she opened the door. Her bed was huge and comfortable.

“I want you to ball out girl!” She says before lowering her voice and sitting down on the bed. “You know I'll miss you …”

“I'll still be here, besides you're coming back.” You say laughing. Rina looks at you and giving you a small smile. She nods her head before getting up with a shallow sigh. She quickly came up to you hugging you tight, which you reciprocate hugging her back. You followed her back downstairs as she got in her car and left without another word.

Well it's not like you had anything else better to do.

Might as well clean up and unpack.

🛸

You'd been in the house for two days and things were off. The general ambiance wasn't a comfort more so a burden.

Rina didn't return any of your calls.

But you let it pass.

You played Lauryn Hill, as you got ready for bed. You brushed your teeth, and slipped on your night gown. You climbed into bed and pulled the soft blankets. Often noises echoed in the empty home but it was something you could let go.

However you couldn't let this one go.

The floorboard next to the bed creaked.

The sound made your head turn. But nothing was there. So you tried to fall back asleep, turning away from the noise. But then the bed dips.

It's faint but there.

“The way your chest rises when you sleep… it's beautiful.”

The voice is airy, and you can feel a hand peel back the blankets. You try to bite your lip to keep quiet but find it harder and harder. The hand then touches your shoulder, and it's texture is other worldly. It's almost too smooth. And it begins to rub circles on your shoulder, as it that would calm you. “Your heart rate is rising, I think we both know that I'm here. And we both know your awake.”

You stay silent, tears beginning to pour down your face silently as you sniffle.

“Are you scared, wondering how I got in here?” The man snickers as he runs his hand down your back. They trained along your spine, making you shiver and tremble.

“I ask that like your going to respond. How stupid of me, I'm sorry I'm still picking up on humans finicky behavior.” The voice says adding a bit of an laugh towards the end. The laughing stops and finally with a sigh the hand is removed and the thing gets up. “You'll see me soon, don't worry.”

Then it leaves.

Almost as soon as it leaves you sit up and began to pant. You couldn't take it anymore.

🛸

Finally the next day you have enough of trying to call Rina. You're about to leave and just say fuck it. No money is worth what you experienced.

Almost as if you summoned her Rina called. You pick up the phone and she quickly interjects. “Hey where you going?” She says almost too causally.

“How do you know I'm leaving?” You almost snap at her.

“I'm… watching you through my cameras.” She says after almost seeking and just landing on a explanation.

“I'm fucking leaving, you've been ignoring me and someone broke in last night. They touched me and everything.” You said over the phone continuing to stuff your bag with your things. Rina gasped over the phone. You couldn't tell if it was to mock you or not.

“But you can't go, someone, most importantly you need to watch over the house. Are you telling me your quitting when things get hard?” Rina goads you.

“That's different than this. Why can't you seem to understand. Someone. Touched me. And spoke to me, something is in this house.” You spoke into the phone grabbing your packed bag. Rina let out a quiet gasp and then a choke. She began to cry on the phone.

“Please, don't go. I need you… Please you don't understand.”

“Rina, what don't I understand? Just tell me what is up.”

“Listen… I screwed up. I-” You can were listening to Rina, but she became interrupted by a loud splattering on the other side of the phone.

“R-Rina?” You ask as the signal cuts out. You take that as a sign to leave. You grab your bag and run for the front but it refuses to budge. “Fuck!” You tell trying to ram it open but you collapse. You fall to the ground and begin to cry and sob.

“Broken aren't we?”

You look up at the voice and out a shakey gasp. It's a man, or it mimics one. But his skin tone is noticably pink and smooth. His eyes are pools of black.

“W-What even are you…” You ask looking at him.

“I'm something you can barely understand, but that's okay. All that matters is that your here. Here with me.” The man sits down and places his hands on the side of your face. He slowly makes you look at him, his eyes sparkling. “You're special, your going to change my life.”

“W-What are you even talking about…” You say looking at him. His skin is inhumanely smooth, his thumbs brushing against your chin. He looked you up and down and smiled, and his smile grows as he laughs. “What's so funny.”

“Your my new mate. You're going to save my people, my planet!” He said looking at you and putting his hands down.

“N-No. Fuck no.”

“Oh you just don't know. Rina lured you here, her house. This house is a trap. Just so you can get with me. But don't worry about that. She's dead.” He said laughing, rubbing your shoulders fondly. You stared at him, in shock. All the information he unloaded on you and just continued to unload on you broke you.

Looking at everywhere but what's in front of you, your mind was a mess. But the man seemingly realized that and just snickered. He then took out a device from the baggy clothes he wore, It was metallic and he put it to the side of your head.

“I don't want you scared of me out entire relationship, so I just have to do some reprogramming…” The device then turned out and you could feel a needle drag across your skin, almost breaking it. “This won't hurt a bit.”

Let me know through a dm or ask or comment to be included in my official Taglist- @darkuni63 @fangirl-death-rose @captainengineer-trixie @chimmisbae @iloverubberduckiez-blog @mageprincess7 @looneybleus @whipwhoops

#dark writing #tw dark content #tw yandere #yandere #yandere x reader #yandere blog #yandere bts #bts #bts fanfic #bts fanfiction #bts x reader #yandere jimin #park jimin #yandere park jimin #writing #bts fanfction #yandere fanfiction #Spotify

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steddieas-shegoes · 10 months

Note

Could you do something like Eddie needing to go to hospital for some minor injury or illness and Steve just having a complete trauma response of oh god last time he was in hospital he nearly died (and wayne being the one to reassure him bc we love uncle wayne in this household)

I must live in the same household as you because I include Wayne in things just to have him be supportive even when it doesn’t make sense to the story 😎

“It’s just a quick trip.”

Wayne was trying to reassure Steve. Trying being the key word.

Eddie was asleep, as he had been for most of the last three days.

His fever was getting higher instead of lower and he hadn’t been able to keep any food down for more than two of the last three days.

His water intake had gone nonexistent, too.

He was pale and sweaty, but visibly shivering anytime Steve looked at him.

It was probably just a really bad flu, but it didn’t help that he’d only been out of the hospital for four months and was still technically recovering from bat bites and nearly bleeding out.

“But what if it’s not?”

Wayne looked at him sadly.

“Son, he just needs some fluids and maybe some better meds than I can get at the drug store without a prescription. He’ll be feeling a bit better within a few hours if we take him.”

“But-“

“Steve. I promise I won’t let nothin’ happen to our boy, okay?”

Steve felt his heart clench at the words.

Sometimes he forgot that Wayne almost lost his only family, his son in all ways but genetics.

“Okay. Let’s go.”

“Think you can carry him to the truck?”

“Yeah.”

Eddie woke up twice on the way, trying his best to give Steve a smile, but failing miserably.

When they brought him back to get an IV started, Wayne went with him, but Steve had to wait in the waiting room.

Wayne kept checking in, though, letting him know every 30 minutes how things were going.

He was grateful that Eddie had someone like him.

He was grateful he had someone like him.

Four hours later, Wayne was walking out the double doors with Eddie, who was able to stand, but not support himself.

An improvement is still an improvement, though.

“Eds, feeling a little better?”

“Feel like a million bucks. No need to worry.”

Which is what he said when he woke up after his week-long coma.

Steve burst into tears and Wayne gently smacked Eddie on the head.

“You’re a dumbass.”

“What?!”

“Let’s get you home before Steve ends up havin’ a breakdown in the waiting room.”

Luckily, they made it home before Steve really did break completely down.

But at least this time Eddie was awake and holding his hand, talking to him like nothing was wrong.

#steddie #steve harrington #eddie munson #headcanon #mentions of illness

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seeminglydark · 11 months

Note

Idk if this means anything to you but I'm a comic artist who's had a hard time doing art for a few years. The first four was because of life hardship and lack of time/chronic pain, but now lately I've had time but a mental block. I'm creeping up on 30 and felt bad about myself for "missing out" on my opportunity to be a comic artist. It was really validating to see you post about being 41 (correct me if I'm wrong) especially since you have such wonderful comics that I've been following for a while now. It makes me feel less like I'm wasting my time putting my things in order when I "should" be drawing.

Hopefully this doesn't come across as offensive or anything. It was just comforting and validating. Anyway, big fan! Love your characters a whole lot and hope you have a good day!

Dear Anon

I am 41 years old. I have wanted to make comics my entire life. before my dad got sick, and my childhood kinda fell apart, all i did was draw. after that, i used the stories in my head to cope. life moved on. i was convinced not to accept a partial scholarship to an art school in California. life got hard. i worked at a hotel, and after i escaped an abusive relationship at 22 i hitchhiked/bused far far away to start over. i tried to make comics again, but i had to survive, and so i got another job doing the only thing i knew how to do, hotels. and i worked. and worked. and life got harder and times got heavier and i didn't get time to draw and i worked double hours, 15 to 17 hours a day. and i went four years without drawing a single thing.

i kept working myself into the ground. i was 29 now. i picked up a pen again and drew a red haired boy. he had a hard life and no love and no friends. his problems were on the outside, for everyone to see. he ran away but his problems went with him.

i was 32. surely i was too old now. my time to be an artist was gone. i had no school. no hope. i was so far behind the younger gen i saw online. i cried. all the time. i wrote stories in my email drafts while i worked shifts. i stayed up late trying to learn how to draw again. i cried some more. the boy grew. i called him Fiach. worthy. a raven. later i renamed him Avery. he was like a bird, he had wings, he was my hope. i started writing some friends for him. the people i wished i had around me.

i started finding time and space. i got a new job, something where i was lucky enough to set my own hours. for the first time i had a partner who believed in me. things were hard. but i was drawing now. and that helped.

i went on a road trip and i started drawing pages of an unnamed story on 6 by 8 paper in a sketchbook. i drew 20 of them. 'what could i call this?' i thought. Nothing Seems as Dark...no says my partner. Seemingly Dark. he made me a logo. i was 35. i bought an ipad, i cant do this on paper, its too much story i have too much to say. so i learned how to draw digitally by tracing my own trad art pages.

I spoke to my dad for the last time on June 17th, fathers day that year. he said 'you're good. i'm proud. and you're gonna do amazing things. none of this is your fault. and we will speak again soon.' i didn't know id never hear his voice again. he died a week later.

i turned 36. i kept trying. i'm old, i don't understand the internet. how can i share this?

i stumbled across Lore Olympus. i was introduced to webcomics. id read comics online before but the thought never occurred to me. i opened an account on Tapas. and then i stared at it. what if no one likes it. what if its bad. my art isn't good. i should wait til i'm better. but will i ever really be better? or will i always believe that tomorrow is better? do it now. if even one person gets something out of this story, this story about a boy who is you, a boy who looking for hope, a boy who might make it, then that is enough isn't it.

June 17th 2018 i launched Seemingly Dark.

SD's five year anniversary is in a week. 0ver 700 pages. leaps and bounds in progress with my skills. a printed comic under my belt as of monday. i was always a storyteller. but i was always an artist too.

I am 41 years old, dear anon. I did not truly embark on this journey til i was 35. life got in the way. even now, chronic illness gets in the way. but its worth it. its never ever too late. i believe in you the way my dad believed in me. i reset my life again and again. but I was always an artist. and if thats who you are, and who you want to be, even if things dont go the way you wished they could, you're an artist too.

im 41 years old. i speak about my age, even though i often feel too old to belong in spaces, cuz really, in this case age is just a number. take care of yourself. do what you need to do. and little by little, when your able, carve out your space until it becomes more of a habit. sometimes i think about all the years i lost not drawing or creating. but there's a lot of factors that make me believe had i made my story then, it wouldn't be the story it is now, i needed to live a bit. i needed to find myself. i know this was long, but i just wanted you to see i also had to put my life in order, and getting notes like this reminds me it wasnt at all a waste. im glad i could offer you some comfort. thats honestly the best compliment i could ever receive.

TL;dR I was 35 when i sat down and seriously started making comics, because life always got in the way and so did my confidence. i always feared being too old. im 41 now, still going strong.

#rj rambles #this is really long im sorry anon #i think my late comic blooming story is kinda important for people to hear #thankyou for giving me a reason to tell it

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vanwritesfan-fiction · 4 months

Note

Request for Klay! He’s been on a road trip and finally home for a few days.. Things have been tense due to that and his girl’s work life. so, he plans the perfect, romantic, intimate date on his boat w help from Rocco 🥰

The Holidate

Klay was never one to complain about his schedule. He knew it came with the territory of being a professional athlete, and while he hated missing holidays with his family and important events, he also knew how blessed he was to be in his position.

It wasn't until he met you and things started to get serious in your relationship that he realized he was missing out on a lot of memories, and he knew he'd have to get creative to properly celebrate the little things in life with you.

The last couple of weeks, things between you and Klay had been testy to say the least. He was just coming off of a long road trip, and between back to back series, had been gone almost two weeks. You were dealing with your own stressors at work, and coming home to an empty house when all you wanted to do was see your boyfriend made everything a lot harder.

Although you'd never complain, Klay knew that the distance was bothering you as much as it was him. You hadn't been in a Christmas mood all month, and neither of you had time to do any decorating around the house, so it was like the holidays had completely missed your house. Klay decided to surprise you with a Christmas themed date night, and he started getting everything ready while you were at work.

As soon as you left for the morning, Klay got to work. He got all of the Christmas decorations out of the hall closet and spent most of the day decorating the tree, and putting up other decorations. "Aren't you gonna help me, Rocc?" Klay looked down from where he stood on the ladder, Christmas lights in his hand, at Rocco, who was dead asleep, little snores leaving his mouth. "I guess not." He chuckled to himself, knowing his lazy pup wasn't going to be much help.

Next, he prepared for the picnic dinner on the boat. He wasn't much of a cook, so he didn't even try his luck in the kitchen, instead ordering from your favorite restaurant. He packed up the picnic basket and headed down to the dock, Rocco in tow. He used the little bit of daylight left to decorate the boat and get everything ready for the dinner including securing a bottle of your favorite wine.

As soon as you left your office, you were hurrying to your car, desperate to take your heels off and climb into bed. You knew Klay would be home, and you were so excited to force him to cuddle with you in bed and try to forget the last couple of days.

You let out a sigh as you felt your phone vibrate in your hand, hoping it wasn't a last minute work call. You smiled when you saw it was a text from Klay.

Klay: Meet me at the docks 7:30 💗

"What is all this, babe?" Your face lit up when Klay greeted you by the boat. He had decorated the mast and other parts of the boats with multicolor Christmas lights. "I've got a surprise for you." He gave you a quick kiss before holding your hand while you took off your shoes and helped you onto the bow of the boat. Rocco was already settled in, looking adorable in a Santa hat and a dog Christmas sweater. You gave him a pet and a kiss on the nose as soon as you saw him.

Klay handed you a bag that he had packed with comfortable clothes and sweatshirt for you to change into if you got cold. While you changed, he sat out the dinner and poured you a glass of wine. He greeted you as soon as you emerged from the companionway. "Oh my god, I love you so much." Klay chuckled, not sure if you were talking to him or the glass.

He set the boat out into the water so the two of you could have a little privacy. "How did you know I've been craving Italian food?", you asked as you took a large bite of pasta. "Because I know you." Klay remarked with a smile. His words gave you butterflies and you could feel your cheeks start to heat up as he grabbed your hand affectionately. Sometimes in the heat of everything going on, you forgot that Klay was truly your person, inside and out, and he loved you more than anything.

After dinner was over, the two of you laid out in the cockpit under a blanket, Klay pulling you in close as the two of you looked up at the stars. "This was just what I needed, Klay. Thank you so much."

"You're welcome. I know we've been two ships passing each other", he stopped so you could chuckle at his terrible joke, but you just playfully slapped his chest with a smile. "Lately, I've just been thinking about how much time we're spending apart and I know its been hard." Klay held a lot of guilt for not always being there, even though you were more than understanding.

"Yeah, but it won't always be like this, babe. Just a couple more months and we've got the offseason." You snuggled up against him, closing your eyes.

"But doesn't it get old always waiting for the offseason to come around?", Klay asked, not sure how you would respond.

You hummed, chuckling to yourself. "I won't lie, it does, but I also know how much basketball means to you." You sat up, grabbing Klay's hand, brushing you thumb over his knuckles as he looked up at you. "The last couple of weeks have been difficult, and I've missed you more than I thought was possible, but this is part of the life. I get it. Besides, you're worth waiting around for."

Klay pulled you on top of him by the sleeve of your sweatshirt, his hand resting on your lower back. "I don't deserve you, ya know that?" He smiled, pulling you in for a gentle kiss, your lips lingering together. "I know. You're very lucky to be with me", you joked, Klay laughing with his whole body. You rested your cheek against his chest, just enjoying the silence for a couple of minutes.

"Alright", you sat up quickly as Klay got to his feet. "I've got one more surprise for you." He moved to turn the boat on and pulled the anchor out of the water. "This was already perfect, babe. I can't imagine it getting any better than this." You wrapped your arms around his waist as he guided the boat back toward land. "You should know your man always has something up his sleeve by now."

Klay helped you off the boat before he docked it, and the two of you walked hand and hand up to the entrance of the San Francisco Botanical Gardens. You mentioned that walking the Botanical Gardens in your hometown was one of your favorite childhood memories, so he always wanted to surprise you with your own personal tour. Klay reserved the entire gardens just for the two of you after hours so you could walk their Christmas light displays without any crowds.

The two of you took your time taking in all of the fun light displays, taking a few pictures of ones you really loved.

"This was incredibly sweet of you, Klay. Thank you so much." You squeezed his hand as the two of you walked. He stopped in his tracks when you reached a large archway decorated with green and red lights. "I love you so much, baby. You deserve all of this and more." He stroked your cheek, giving you a small smile. Your lips crashed, you more eager than him.

Rocco's bark pulled you out of the passion of the kiss, making both of you laugh out loud. "I think Rocco has had enough of date night."

Klay nodded, pressing a kiss to your forehead before you continued walking. "We have him out past his bedtime."

#klay thompson fan fiction #klay thompson #klaythompson #klay thompson imagine #nba fan fiction

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homeofatlas · 3 months

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Friends, Right?

Authors note: this is a longer fic it’s 2.7k. We need more elisa fics and i had the time so i hope you all like it. Also sorry this isnt as aesthetically pleasing as some of yours with the pictures and the headers. It’s 1:30 am, i just finished this no editing we die like men!

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Since joining the PSGs feminine team you had made good friends with most of the girls. But there was one in particular who you had become great friends with, Elisa. Before you knew that you two would come to be such great friends you’d found her cute. Now knowing how compatible you two were, it felt impossible to be around her and not fall deeper into love with her as you spent more time together.

This is what made it so hard to admit that while you were falling for her more every time you saw her, she didn’t reciprocate your feelings. Sure there were times when she was leaving where she’d linger longer than was perhaps strictly normal but that was how female friendships worked. It was perfectly normal to hug three times for at least 10 seconds before she actually left and for her to press a kiss to your forehead when you guys were watching a movie. You liked to see things that weren’t there. Your crush on Elisa was clouding your judgement. And if you stayed up late thinking about those lingering hugs…..well that was no one's business but your own.

One morning she came to pick you up because your car was in the shop. As a thanks to her you paid for your morning smoothies and shared the protein bars you packed so you could snack through the day. While in the car elisa rests her right arm on the middle console focusing on the long stretch of road ahead of her. Softly some song from her playlist wafts through the car gently lulling you into a half state of awareness. Vaguely you’re aware the car has stopped and you should start moving but right as you're about to wake yourself up, elisa speaks to you from the driver's seat.

“Y/n?” She whispers.

You blink your eyes open to see you’re already there.

Your eyes slide over to where elisa is softly gazing at you. She looks at you in the way you sometimes imagine you must look when you’re trying to memorise her every feature for when it’s no longer yours to gaze at. The look on her face leaves you breathless, it times like this where you feel like she might reciprocate your feelings. And then the spell breaks and she blinks her gaze away from you to look out the wind shield again, her face wiped as clean as it can be this early in the morning.

“Come on we’re gonna be late” She says and opens her car door.

Just friends, right?

A week later during a game she trips another player and gets yellow carded. Now while Elisa has a reputation for……revelling in the physical side of the game this time you have to agree this girl had it coming. Constantly backing up into Elisas space and generally crowding her was one way to get the brunette in an angry mood. As Elisa begins to get angrier while talking to the ref your teammates signal you to come and get her off the field. Running over to her you catch her forearm and cut off her swearing at the referee who could not look more phased if she tried.

“Elisa let it go, she had it coming but theres nothing we can do about it now right? You’re just going to piss the ref off even more and that doesn’t work in anyone's favour.”

Heaving, she finally turns her head towards you. With the bright stadium lights on her, you can see every droplet of sweat shining on her face. You’re so far gone for her instead of thinking its gross you think it’s a product of her hard work, it’s beautiful. Her nose is shining with the perspiration and she’s never looked better, except maybe in her pjs on the couch. You two lock eyes and have a silent conversation, pleading with her to come with you. Finally her gaze drops from your eyes to your lips to where your hand is still wrapped around her forearm. Her gaze flicks back up to your eyes shining with worry. Her shoulders drop and she begins to move towards the sidelines where you’ve just come from. You let go of her forearm and walk slightly behind her. You can feel the energy radiating off her. She slows to let you catch up and as you fall into step with her you feel her fingers brush yours a couple times before she interlocks your fingers and tightly. All the pent up energy is going into holding your hand and pulling you to the side. As you sit down on the bench she continues to clutch your hand while staring intensely onto the field.

“Elisa? You’re welcome to hold my hand to soothe yourself but if I could switch to the other hand that would be great.” You say once she calmed down slightly.

Still not speaking she slowly loosens her grip on your hand. True to your word you give her the other hand, this time using the hand closest to her you gently rub your hand in soothing circles on her back to help calm her down. Over time you feel her begin to relax against you and your touch until the end of the game when she gets up to change and get ready to go home. But you’re just Friends, Right?

Two weeks after that you and a couple of the girls are out at a bar celebrating a win and no training in the morning. You’re on your first drink that tastes slightly fruity which you’ve been sipping on for a while now. You’re feeling warm and fuzzy surrounded by the people who love you the most in the world. Elisa sits next to you occasionally glazing around but otherwise focused on the conversation at hand. Her arm is thrown around the backs of your chairs, her fingers occasionally brushing your shoulder.

“So if you had to pick someone on the team to date, who would you date?” Sakina giggles.

Having just taken a sip of your drink you gag slightly and sputter, meeting the mischievous twinkling eye of Sakina Karchaoui. She knows exactly what she’s just done. Although you haven't told anyone outside of one person who’s not even in the soccer world Sakina seems to have picked up on your little (massive, gigantic, personally might go as far as to say in love) crush on Elisa. By the way she’s making eyes at the other girls it's clear they’ve been let in on the message and are giggling at your demise too. Out of the corner of your eye you see Elisa spit some of her drink out back into her cup upon hearing the comment. Although you avoid looking at her in the slightest you feel the shift in weight beside you as she leans away from you and tucks her arm back into herself.

“Probably you Sakina, we’re pretty good friends and we’d be compatible enough I think” Elis answers in a semi dry tone.

Your stomach sinks. Even if she was forced into dating someone on the team it still wouldn’t be you. The jealousy leaves you slightly nauseous and your cheeks feel like they’re on fire.

Sakina is clearly waiting for an answer and burning holes into your head.

“Um,” you begin to answer “I’m not sure I think I see you all as more of sisters than anything else.”

You see Elisa who’d previously been intently and quietly eyeing you since you started speaking, begin to fidget and mutter something about drink before she gets up and takes her half full glass with her up to the bar. As soon as you feel she’s gone the rest of the table erupts into giggles.

“Really Sakina could you have been anyone more obvious about it? Why not tattoo Y/n has a crush on elisa on my forehead, i’m sure that would have been a less painful situation”

“Please Y/n relax I wouldn’t have said anything if i didn’t think there was a chance she liked you back-”

“Well you heard it straight from the source that she doesn’t so can we just drop it? Please? I'd like to forget that I'm in love with my best friend for one night.”

Sakinas face falls and she looks sorry. You feel bad for snapping at her but Elisa can’t know about your crush. It would ruin your relationship and you aren’t ready to let her go yet. You begin to scan the bar for Elisa. You see her standing at the bar facing a pretty blonde girl who’s got her hand on your- Elisas bicep. The blonde is leaning into her space and laughing at whatever joke Elisas just told based on the smile on her face. She’s cool looking, she's blonde, beautiful, got a sleeve of tattoos, and looks gorgeous next to elisa. The sight makes your stomach churn. Suddenly any chance of salvation of the good mood you had is gone and you’re as sober as you can be. Elisa is clearly interested based on her body language, why wouldn’t she be? It's not like you're together. So Elisa can take her home to the flat you’ve been in and have sex with her on the couch you’ve been on or the bed you’ve had sleepovers in or on the counter where you’ve cooked together and that's fine. You were going to have to get used to seeing Elisa with someone else eventually. It’s just that maybe deep down you had been hoping you weren’t just friends after all, But tonight has shattered that illusion and thank god because you needed to get over it, is what you’re telling yourself.

Following your line of sight Sakinas face falls into one of pity for you.

“Don't Sakina. It was going to happen eventually and I need to get over it.”

You glance over again to see Elisa looking over at you while she stands with the blonde woman, you try to give her an encouraging nod and something you hope looks like a smile. To be honest you don't really want to be out right now in these jeans and this itchy sweater, you want to go home.

“Honestly guys…..I think I'm just gonna go home and watch a movie but thanks for coming out tonight.”

The girls give you a sad look as you pick your coat up from the back of your chair and grab your bag. As you walk to the door you have to walk past the bar, brushing past elisa she doesn’t even turn her head to acknowledge you as you step out into the cold night.

The drive home felt the longest it ever had. Peeling off your layers of clothing and getting into your at home sweatpants had never felt so great. Although it isn’t a part of your diet you figured tonight called for some sweet treat therapy. Set up on the couch as you’re flipping through movies on netflix deciding which garbage film you can try not to cry to there's a familiar rap on your door.

You pause.

Another soft knock.

“Y/n? Cherie?Open the door please.”

No response.

“Unless you’ve gone to bed but i can see the lights so please come up the door.”

You slowly make your way up off the couch, placing your sweet treat on your coffee table.

As you stand before the door you can hear her breathing from the other side, you can feel her warmth and energy radiating through the door, it’s like nothing can keep her fro. You. You’ll never escape from her. A fresh set of tears springs to your eyes but you quickly swallow them before unlocking and opening the door.

Elisa looks like she’s been thoroughly made out with or at least something was running through her hair continuously. How dare she, you think, come to me after being with someone else, isn’t my love enough? You swallow it down and force the door open wider for her to slip inside and close the flat door behind her. Now in harsh overhead lighting you can see the panic, bewilderment, and sadness lurking in her brown eyes.

She opens her mouth and closes it a couple times before finally croaking out, “You left and you didn’t say goodbye.”

“You were a little busy at the moment and i wasn’t feeling well so i came home.”

“You aren't feeling well? Is there something i can do or something i can get for you?”

“No I just,” You sigh and rub your hands over your face before looking up at her “I’m tired so I came home.”

“Oh okay well did you want me to stay? We can watch *insert your comfort movie/tv show*!”

The sight of her dishevelled hair and clothing is making you more angry and sad by the minute. All you want to do is give her a set of your sweats and have her wear your clothing but this has to stop. O more blurry lines it hurts too much.

The tears feel like they’re hiding right beneath the surface as you say, “Elisa honestly I'm really tired I think I’ll go to bed.”

“Okay well I’ve had drinks so maybe i can stay over and tomorrow morning we can go for brunch and a walk-”

“Elisa, Enough!”

“What?”

Oh here comes the word vomit.

“You can’t just make out or sleep with someone else and then come over here and expect us to go to brunch and on scenic walks and watch movies snuggled up on the couch and can’t do it anymore, I can't do this anymore!” You finish.

Elisas brown eyes are wide with shock and she looks hurt by the time you’ve finished.

Her eye brows furrow and her lips purse in, she reaches out slightly to grab your arm which is hanging at your side but misses and brushes the side of your hip where your shirt has begun to ride up. Her warm palm against your cold skin feels like the best thing in the world right now, all you want to do is take it all back but the way she’s looking at you now like she doesn’t understand what you mean hurts you more than it will ever hurt her.

“Elisa, i think you should go”

“No” She shakes her head as she sways forward slowly inching into your space. You should not be letting her in but what's one last time right? Her hand comes up to rest on the cold path of skin near your hip and the other one wraps around your shoulders. She presses kisses to the top of your head while gently rocking. She takes a deep inhale before releasing you and looking at you face to face.

“Y/n, look at me” She looks more sober than she did before when she pulls back. “I did not sleep or make out with anyone nor do I want to unless it’s with you. My hair looks like this because I was worried about you leaving without saying goodbye. I was running my hands through it the whole way here. The girl you saw me with in the bar? I wouldn’t care if she was aphrodite because I love you. I want you. I know this isn’t a good time but I’m sick of not saying anything and having almost moments. This is our moment, if you want it to be. I love you.”

Her eyes peer deep into yours looking for the same sentiment but instead you cup her face with your hands and bring your noses up to brush. As your noses bump into each other and your lips brush you whisper “I love you too” and kiss her. The fuzzy warm feeling runs from your head to your toes heating you up all over. As you pull away both of you smile largely and you lay your head on her chest as you stand there and hug for as long as you want because as it turns out you aren’t just Friends, Right?

#elisa de almeida #elisa de almeida x reader #woso x reader #please like this #im trying my best im starving out here for elisa content #woso fanfics #élisa de almeida #wlw

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wibixthecowboy · 1 year

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Play the Song: Chapter 12: As we Breathe

Task Force 141 needs a new sniper and despite their complaints, they're assigned Flash, a joke-making, ABBA-listening, 20-year-old sharpshooter with better aim than the whole team combined. In other words, Ghost is practically handed the love of his life but he needs time to adjust because she's a firecracker.

Warnings/Tags: !graphic depictions of panic attacks!, references to suicide attempts (no descriptions), references to SA (no descriptions), Age gap (20/30-32), gore, descriptions of injury/blood/wounds, justified angst, tooth rotting fluff, slow burn, protective ghost, family dynamic, big brother soap has an attitude problem, father figure Price, wholesome brother Gaz, touch starved Ghost, eventual smut, praise, choking, thigh riding, unprotected (wrap it up people), size kink, oral f receiving, ghost will do anything to get his dick sucked, idk I’m sure it will get dirtier as I go, shifting POV

A/N: I know what you all want and I am here to give it to you. Enjoy my two, severely emotionally underdeveloped loves interacting in (somewhat) non-deadly scenarios.

Words: 6.7k

Side note: All of these characters are fictional! Please don’t be weird about their real life actors, leave them out of this and be respectful!

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12

Tag list: @urfavsunkissedleo @butskii @abbiesxox @itsasecrets-things @thatonewriterthatnooneknows @copiasratscheese @Sheviro-blog

★Flash

“Will you just take the fucking applesauce?” Gaz’s voice is bordering a whine and Flash doesn’t feel the least bit guilty when she declines again. She is hungry, but her hunger doesn’t outweigh her need for entertainment. For something other than the dusty novel she’d snatched from Price weeks ago and the small window to her left.

For the last three days, she’s been stuck in her bed. Her only solace being short trips to the bathroom and the horrible nurse service being provided in shifts by Soap and Gaz. Both arrive either so guilt ridden or angry that their conversations are reduced to mumbled words.

After she’d passed out in the truck- passed out, not died, (a correction she’s had to make every time Soap decides to give her another rundown of what he likes to call her ‘Rick Grimes’ moment) the team was able to stop enough of the bleeding and get her to the nearest med bay before her heart stopped pumping.

She’d been kept sedated for the next four days, lulled into a hazy half conscious state by a concoction of epinephrine, morphine, and god knows what else. The magic drug- a more advanced and highly addictive form of a stim shot, had practically healed everything. By the third night, she’d been able to lay on her back without pain, and by the fourth, her injuries were reduced to bruising and two half healed and itching cuts on her shoulder blades and forehead. When the doctors had given her the order to ‘take it easy’ and ‘stay in bed for a few more days’ she’d nearly laughed in their faces. But after an awkward ride back to the base with Price, it was made clear that she’d be on her ass until the doctors cleared her.

Since then, she’s been rotting away in bed. With the fog of a rather severe concussion gone and only a slight wobble in her step, Flash felt confident enough to get back into training. Others, not so much.

“Stop coddling me and I just might.” Her words, although bitter, are spoken through a half smile. The joints of her legs ache with the need to move. She can’t remember the last time she’d gone longer than a day without some sort of physical exercise.

“Oh for fucks sake. Just take it.” Gaz lets out a frustrated groan and tosses the container and spoon at her blanketed legs. They land just shy of the unread paperback by her shin. A copy of ‘True Grit’ that Price had silently handed to her after she’d begged him to let her join their next raid. “Maybe Ghost will spoon feed it to you if you ask nicely enough.”

His hand freezes against the door handle and Flash’s eyes widen. That was the first Ghost had been mentioned since the incident. After his freak out. No one had spoken to her about it, so she didn’t bring it up. Other than foggy memories of him sleeping in a chair next to her bed at the med bay- his head lolled to the side in a way that made her knees weak. Ghost had been absent.

“Just eat the food.” Gaz says nothing more before slipping from her room and shutting the door gently behind him.

Guilt coils her stomach into a tight knot and the game that she’d been playing for the last few days loses its appeal.

The applesauce is dull and pasty, and when she swallows, it sticks in her throat like mud. The first night she’d woken up from her drugged sleep, she willed her memory to clear, to give her a picture of Ghost’s face that wasn’t blurred with tears and blood loss. But it was useless. After that, avoiding thinking about the last few moments in the truck had been easy. Until now.

Although every sense of hers had been compromised, her brain had no problem recalling every point of contact that Ghost had made. As if her body remembering the gentle way he held her hand against his cheek was more important than remembering to breathe. As if it still is. The healing drugs didn’t touch the burns left by his desperate hands.

The scraping of her spoon against the nearly empty plastic cup does nothing to drown out the now crashing waves of memories. Him grasping at her legs and shoulders to haul her to the truck, begging her to keep her eyes open, removing his mask. The last bite of her applesauce tastes of brine and copper and it gags her. When she coughs the skin of her hand comes back splattered with shining red. Stumbling to the bathroom, Flash drops to the blessedly cool tile in front of the toilet but the food weighs heavily in her stomach, refusing to move despite the foul taste in her mouth. When she looks down there’s a splatter of pureed apple across her right hand where the blood stained just moments ago.

Avoiding her two mirrors, Flash rinses her hands, ties her hair back, and changes her clothes for the first time in three days. She needs out, and god help anyone who tries to stop her.

_____

The hot Las Almas sun burns the sensitive skin of Flash’s scabbed and stitched shoulders and sends a steady stream of sweat gliding down her spine that drops to the dusty dirt road just a few minutes from their base. She’d found it while stalking Ghost on one of his runs after a dull morning of training. Now it serves as the perfect place for her to slip away unnoticed and run until her feet bleed.

She’d been going for about an hour already, entranced by the steady thump of her braid against her back as she let the hot afternoon sun dry the waves that so violently threatened to pull her under. An angry, clouding storm of failure covers every expanse of her mind. She’d failed the one chance she’d been given. Price had finally given her an in, a way to prove what she’d so desperately been trying to show them, and she’d blown it in less than an hour.

A familiar crunch of tires sounds from behind her and she moves to the edge of the rough dirt road, giving the truck room to pass, but it slows to match her pace. When she glances over, she nearly stumbles on a loose stone. Ghost is sat in the driver's seat, one arm steering at the base of the wheel and the other holding a bottle of water out the window.

“You don’t have to say anything, just take the water and I’ll leave.” His voice is withdrawn, quiet in a way that tells Flash that he understands her need for silence. And when she takes the bottle from his bare hand, the faded scars only prove her right.

He watches her drink and she pretends not to notice as the water wets her parched mouth and throat. When she finishes that one, he gently pulls it from her grasp and another is pressed into her empty hand. Flash sips this time, breathing deeply between swallows, catching the breath she hadn’t noticed she’d lost. His gaze falls to her shaking knees and the shivering of her strained thighs and she waits for him to admonish her, to order her back to the base and put a padlock on the door this time, but he only turns away to set the empty bottle somewhere in the back seat.

“Do you want to drive with me?”

The question catches her off guard. The softness with which its spoken, still detached and hesitant but sentimental nonetheless. She opens her mouth to deny, admit that she’s ran this far to be alone, but the aching in her chest tugs towards him like a magnet.

Silently, she rounds the car, slides into the passenger seat, and Ghost continues driving wordlessly down the path, at a leisurely unhurried speed. With the windows down, the hair that had fallen from her braid flutters around her face in the light wind, tickling the bare and damp skin of her neck. She licks the dry skin of her lips and tastes the salt beaded at the bow of her mouth.

The slow roll of sand dunes calms the racing of her heart and she syncs her breathing to their soft shapes, in with the incline and out with the descent. Her sweat slick legs stick uncomfortably to the warm leather seat but the relief of resting her strained muscles surpasses the discomfort.

Flash closes her eyes against the bright setting sun, oranges and yellows shine brightly in the sudden darkness and the knot in her stomach loosens enough that she can fill her lungs completely. Fresh air, spun with the sappy golden light spilling across the desert blows across her face and cools the twin trails trickling over the curves of her cheeks. Salt spreads across her tongue, but this time it carries something much heavier. They come faster now, rivulets running and turning into streams that course over her chin and down her neck, bleeding into the sweat soaked collar of her shirt. She doesn’t open her eyes as the crushing weight of the fear she’d felt sets in. So she cries. She cries for what could have happened, what would have happened if she hadn’t pulled herself from the water, and hates every second of it.

Then a warm hand is nudging her own. Ghost, in a silent mimic of her gesture from days before, wraps his smallest finger around her own and squeezes. The fear lessens, pulling back to a dull throb against her ribcage. She doesn’t open her eyes as she unwraps their pinkies and slides her hand into his to lock their fingers in a tight hold. His hand envelops her own, warm and comforting, and she fastens herself to him like a tether to a dock. Afraid that if she lets go she just might drift out of reach.

They say nothing as they cling to each other, and Flash doesn’t dare turn her now open eyes to Ghost, afraid that she’ll snap their tether by acknowledging it. So she keeps her gaze on the pinks and purples sprawled across the dimming sky and tries to ignore the burning disappointment when one final turn brings the familiar concrete building into view.

“Can we do one more loop, I can’t- I-” She begins to ask, faltering when Ghost obliges without hesitation. And a burning sense of endearment spreads so quickly through her that the stinging behind her eyes recedes. Blinking away the thick tears still lining her lids, Flash sniffs once and then sags further into her seat.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

His question is a formal invitation, an obligated question. One she’s been asked on multiple occasions and refused each time. She could ignore it now and it wouldn’t be brought back up, she knows that for a fact. But whether it's the burning need to confess or the lack of social interaction, Flash feels the confession loose from her mouth in a stream that she can’t seem to stop.

“I killed him with a rock.” Even though the words are spoken by her, the depravity of the statement makes her heart stutter. “When I missed with my knife I just smashed his head in with a rock.” The memory flashes through her mind, a stunted and bloody reel of pictures. “It was too easy.”

A long stretch of silence fills the space between them and Flash can’t help but worry he’ll slam on the breaks and shove her out, tell her just how damaged she must be to resort to something so animalistic, so beyond human norm. The weight of his hand in hers grows cold and she has the sudden urge to tuck herself into the small space at her feet, away from the heavy words floating between them and the piercing blue eyes at her side.

“When you know someone coming to kill you Flash, everything turns primal. It’s not something you learn through lectures. I’m sorry you had to learn so quickly.” His words are like a balm to her nerves. Petting back the raised hackles of her mind. “I’m sorry that I wasn’t there to stop it.”

“It’s the SAS Ghost. Things happen. I won't always have someone there to save the day.” She speaks firmly but turns to Ghost with a sad smile, the action has the dried tracks of her tears itching. When she brings her empty hand up to wipe her cheeks, the dirt lining her fingers has her squeezing it back under her thigh.

He lapses back into his familiar silence and Flash tries not to think about the dirt wiping from her hand onto his own clean skin where their palms meet. Then becomes increasingly aware of the dust clinging to her thighs and arms and how it rubs off onto the dark surfaces of the truck. Ghost doesn’t say anything. His unoccupied hand taps lightly against the steering wheel, another quirk that Flash quickly learned meant he was picking his words carefully.

“Knowing something is going to happen doesn’t make it any easier to cope with.” The tires crunch as dirt turns into gravel, they’re just minutes away from the base now.

His words, although validating in their own way, crack open a spot in her steeled mind that she is nowhere near ready to unravel. So instead of responding, she closes her eyes and lays back against the seat, focusing on holding the now cool night air in her lungs. She grips Ghost’s hand steadfastly. When they pull into the lot this time, her mind feels clearer and when she releases his hand to go inside, she feels a little less broken.

_____

★Ghost

Although her eyes are focused on Price, taking in every word he speaks with an endearing efficiency, Ghost still watches them. Searching for the voided, lost look that most recruits adopted after their first incident. The look that he’d seen hints of while driving with her hours before. But the blue remains sharp as they scan the layout of the next warehouse they’d be raiding. A dilapidated barn just a few miles from Alejandro’s ranch. They would leave tomorrow to spend the next two days planning their approach with Alejandro and his team. His bag, packed the moment he got back from their drive, waits next to his door. It was his desperate attempt to keep himself in his room. To keep himself busy so he didn’t cross through the bathroom and to Flash’s door to press his ear against the wood. Just to make sure she was still there, still breathing.

It was easy to brush off at first. The shaking was from strained muscles and elevated heart rate from his morning jog. But that day, when she’d come over the hill looking half dead, still clutching a bloodied rock, the fear, and dread that gagged him was undeniable. The anxiety that shook his experienced hands as he attempted to wrap unwilling bandages over a seemingly unending expanse of flowing blood was beyond uncharacteristic. Soap had taken the gauze from his hands and shoved him to the side, working with Gaz to stop the bleeding. Her clouded, half-lidded gaze had sent him into a shaking, gasping sort of fit and it was Soap who had ripped the pill bottle from Ghost’s pocket and shoved two of the pills into his palm with shaking, bloodied hands before returning to monitoring Flash’s heart rate.

After getting her to the med bay and stabilized, he’d remained at her side for the entire stay. The gentle flutter of her eyelashes was his only respite as she drifted in and out of a drugged sleep. The only time he left her side was to slip into the staff bathroom and to down another cup of the never-ending supply of dirt instant coffee the front office kept. Price had ordered him back to the base hours before she was to be taken off the sedative. It was a short exchange over the phone, gruff, tired, and ending in a snapped command.

When Price returned with her that night, Ghost had been waiting in the window. He wasn’t sure what his plan was, but when he saw the way Price had to practically lift her from the passenger seat and brace her as she limped to the door, he’d retreated back to his room, unable to look at the bandages at her temple, ones he wasn’t capable of tying. Instead choosing to curl against his headboard and choke on uneven breaths until a drug haze pulled him under.

Looking at her now, nothing like the small girl, pale skinned and drowned in hospital blankets, the beating of his heart doesn’t slow. Soap, next to him, is doodling small flowers on the mission summary and Gaz sitting beside Flash, is tugging at her sleeve. After one particularly harsh tug, she whips around in her chair and levels him with a harsh glare, when she goes to turn back, her eyes catch his. The irritation melts from her brow and Ghost struggles to keep his breath steady when his gaze drops to the blue-green bruise that still curves along her cheekbone. Flash catches his line of sight and lets the hair tucked behind her ear fall into her face, covering the bruising entirely when she turns back to Price. But the image remains, permanently branded against the large corner of his mind she’s always occupying.

They go on like that for the rest of the meeting. Eyes occasionally meeting only to hover for a moment before flitting away. Acting like he hadn’t just watched her shatter in the small cab of his truck an hour before. He knew better than to push though, the need to just forget was more familiar to him than it should be. So he watches her take notes instead, careful little words in the spaces between paragraphs with a pencil he now recognizes as his own. Stolen from the space next to his paper, he hadn’t even noticed. And despite everything, amusement flickers in his chest, and a familiar warmth tightens his ribs. Ghost dips his head down to level his eyes with Flash, glancing at the pencil in her hands and up to her waiting gaze. She smiles at him. It’s half done, morphed into a slight grimace from the split in her lip, but it still carries her usual air of mischief. And he thinks that maybe, things might be okay.

_____

★Flash

Flash is brushing her teeth when she sees Ghost again. Her hair still damp and curling from the shower she’d taken to scrub the dried sweat and dust from her skin. She’d also braved a look in the mirror. A small blue-purple bruise curves along her skin between her cheekbone and eye, a half healed split at her lower lip, and a stitched line at her temple were all that remained of her encounter. It wasn’t a pretty sight, but better than she’d been expecting. Her shower though, had run out of her allotted bathroom time and into Ghosts. It wasn’t the first time it happened, but when it did, he would politely apologize and leave her to finish.

But now, dressed in joggers and a delightfully worn shirt, he hovers in the open doorway. She wonders if he feels it. The pull.

He’s about to turn and leave when Flash finds herself mumbling through a mouthful of toothpaste, “Don’t leave I’m almost done.” She’s not quite sure why she asks him to stay, but she does.

Flash can’t help but smile at the way his socked feet shuffle awkwardly against the tile, not sure where to stand. It’s incredibly sweet, and the softness of the action only strengthens the pull that begs her to step forward and into him.

“So,” Flash starts, spitting her toothpaste into the sink before continuing to lazily brush in half circles, “do I get to see your face now? Or is that something you reserve for people who are near death?” In one smooth movement, she’s resting on the counter in front of him, hoping the toothbrush hanging from her lips hides the wince as her sore muscles strain. “Ya know, like a ‘I can show you but then I’d have to kill you’ type a’ situation?”

Ghost is silent, unresponsive to her prodding. Any other night he would have told her to drop it and go to bed. Maybe give her a snarky response if she’s lucky. But tonight he’s quiet, just as before. And then she sees it. The way his shoulders curve inward and the flickering of his eyes as they move to look at anything that isn’t her.

“You know it's not your fault right?” Flash’s voice is soft, the same one she’d use to coax a scared dog from a corner.

“What?” A whisper.

“It’s not your fault.” She slides from the counter, leaving her toothbrush next to the basin, she walks quietly towards him. Cautious, slow enough for him to back away, she reaches up to brush a hand against his face. It’s a daring move but he doesn’t pull away.

The cotton of the mask is warm from being so close to the heated skin of his cheeks. Golden lashes brush against them and their freckled surface as his lids shutter closed. Flash drinks in the rare moment of softness. Her mind drifts back to her last few moments in the truck, how warm the skin of his face had been and suddenly, she’s never wanted anything more in her life.

“Can I touch-” Her words breathe out into the empty space between them and Ghost’s eyes fly open, wide and searching her own.

“Blindfold, I - can you wear a blindfold?” His words are stuttered and rushed with a desperation she can’t even begin to understand. Flash offers him a silent nod and then the space in front of her is empty.

She lifts herself back onto the counter, just to busy herself as she listens to the opening of a drawer and the quiet whisper of him digging through clothes in his room. He returns with a beautifully patterned terracotta scarf. Like the one’s she’d seen at the market. He sets it gently in her lap but she pushes it back into his hands.

“Here, you can tie it. So you know I’m not peeking.”

He nods once before taking the brown fabric with shaking hands and folding it into a neat strip and leaning in close to wrap it gently around her eyes. Flash senses his hesitation as he pauses before tying the knot. Wary of the bruise beneath her eye. She gives her best reassuring smile and it seems to do the trick.

“Is that too tight?” He whispers and Flash shivers as his breath fans across her ear, light and warm.

“No. It’s perfect.”

There’s a gentle rustle of fabric and then his mask is resting on her lap. Nerves beat her heart up into her throat.

“Are you scared?” Her whisper is careful, spoken into the quiet space between them. A question spoken to him but a silent admission of her own.

“Yes.”

“It's only me.” She can’t help but smile at his honesty.

“That’s what I’m scared of.”

“Can I touch you?” She murmurs, and he hums a confirmation. It’s a quiet, broken noise.

A soft sigh breaks the silence when the pads of her searching fingers meet his cheek and draw upwards to a rather prominent cheekbone. She can’t help but smile at the heat she feels beneath her fingers, he’s blushing.

Quick breaths come from his nose, followed by two long exhales. Subtle enough that if she weren’t inches from his face would have gone unnoticed, but his warm breath falls against the small strip of her cheeks left uncovered by the scarf. Her heart swells in her chest when she realizes he’s attempting to calm himself.

“Why do you keep trying?”

His words catch her off guard and her exploring fingers come to a halt at his browbone. A displeased huff urges them on and to a soft brow. Flash takes a moment to think, but it doesn’t take her long to find a response.

“Because you deserve to heal.” Ghost turns his head into her hand, muffling a groan. It’s a noise unlike anything she’s ever heard before. An amalgamation of sadness and desperation that makes the blood in her veins slow to listen.

“Has no one ever told you that?”

“No.” He speaks into her palm, hiding his face as if she could see him through the scarf.

“Well, you do.” She smiles softly and flinches in surprise when his thumb brushes against the soft skin of her lower lip. He pulls back quickly,

“Sorry, I-”

“No, you’re fine.” Flash reaches down and grabs for his hand, bringing his thumb up to her lips again when she finds it. He takes a shuddering breath and she wishes for just a moment that she could pull the blindfold up from her eyes and look at him, see the way his body is reacting to her touch, rather than feeling, and hearing it.

“Your smile.” His thumb parts the plush of her lips, so gently she almost doesn’t feel it.

“What about it?” She can’t help but laugh at his odd remark.

His face under her hand moves, and a familiar divot forms under her ring finger.

“Oh good lord you have dimples?” She breathes against his hand.

“Just on the left.” His words are murmured, shy if she thought he was capable of such an innocent emotion. And in the warm darkness of the bathroom, without seeing the scars on his hands or the dazed look his eyes so often held, she realizes just how innocent he is. The boyish way he holds her face, similar to the way a child learning to write struggles to grip a pencil. Like the concept of touching someone without the intent of harm is as foreign to him as a new language. And the realization absolutely crushes her.

“Freckles, dimples, blue eyes. You must be a real stunner.” She teases, an awful attempt to fight the burning behind her eyes. The skin beneath her hand warms again and the overwhelming urge to throw herself into him is consuming, to wrap herself so tightly around him that their skin fuses and they become one. The thought is as terrifying as it is tempting.

“Far from it.”

She frowns at his words but the hand on her face smooths her brow in a gentle caress. Her next exhale comes shakily through her nose.

Braving the waters, Flash traces up the soft curve of his cheek and her fingers catch on slightly raised skin, silkier than the rest, a scar. It travels from his left cheekbone to his hairline just above his eyebrow.

“How did this happen?” Her imploring question is light and spoken without pressure. He could leave it unanswered if he wished.

“My father.” His response is quiet but it’s a scream to her ears. Images of him as a child, a defenseless teen screaming as he clutched his head in pain fill her mind in a rush. She quickly moves on. Feeling for more, battle-oriented scars, but she feels none.

“Do you have any more?”

A rumbling laugh vibrates down her arm and warms her chest.

“Plenty. Although the reconstructive surgeries helped, there’s always going to be a mark.”

“Where?”

A gentle hand reaches for hers and guides her fingers in an arc from the corner of his mouth to a point near his hairline. She traces the spot over on her own until she feels the slight change in texture, the jagged shape that whatever had cut him left behind. She didn’t dare ask its origin.

“Your scars make mine seem like papercuts.” A nervous laugh blows past her lips.

“And I hope it stays that way.” He glides warm fingers just inches from the stitches on her temple. “You already have enough.”

“Nothing near as cool as yours.” She protests, tracing his cheek once more to emphasize her point.

The room is silent, and for just a moment, she thinks she's ruined it and then he’s laughing again. Stuttered like he hasn’t had enough practice, and Flash wishes he’d never stop.

“What?” She asks, incredulous.

“I’ve never had someone call my scars cool.” The stuttered laughs come through his nose now, in gentle breaths of air that warm her own cheeks.

Another mostly nervous laugh looses from her parted lips at the absurdity of their situation. If someone told her a year ago, as she unabashedly stared at Ghost giving his lecture, that she’d be on the counter of their shared bathroom, blindfolded and committing his face to memory with her hands she’d probably laugh. And then file a report.

Flash smiles shyly before bringing her other hand up to gently cup his face, eager to change the topic. “Is this normal?” She breathes as he leans further into her, now pressing against the counter space between her legs. Heat radiates from him, warming her in a way she’s never felt before.

“Is what normal?”

“Wanting to touch you so badly my chest aches.” The admission makes her heart stutter in embarrassment and something warm and syrupy slows the muscles of her mouth.

“I don’t think so.” His answer is mumbled, and before she can feel the sting of rejection, he’s pressing his forehead to hers in an almost feline gesture.

Their lips are just inches away, all she’d have to do is tilt her head up and they’d be kissing. The thought sends her heart thumping so painfully that her stomach rolls with nerves. Enough that she just savors the closeness they have already.

“I feel like I’m going to puke.” She whispers to him with a nervous smile and instantly regrets it. There’s just something about his presence that loosens her tongue in ways it shouldn’t.

But then Ghost is laughing again and pressing his forehead harder against her own. “Me too.”

And the confession is orchestral.

Her arms reach from where they’re pinned between them and up into the soft curls at the nape of his neck. A muffled moan is pressed into the skin of her neck so she does it again, a gentle scrape through his hair. Tremors wrack his body in waves. Then he’s pulling away and her hands are slipping from his shoulders too soon.

“Off the counter, face the mirror.” Although his voice is still soft and shaken, it’s demanding enough that Flash doesn’t protest. She feels him reach around her for something on the counter, muscled chest pressing close to her shoulder.

“I’m getting some deja vu.” Ghost’s murmur is quiet and entirely self-indulgent.

“To what?” Flash’s brows furrow in confusion under the soft silk.

“Well uh-” His words stumble out, unprepared. “That night you took that pill?”

Flash’s stomach sinks and her tongue sticks to the roof of her mouth when she responds. “Uh-huh.”

“You were struggling a bit with cleaning the scratches. You couldn’t even hold the cloth.”

“Oh god.” Even with the scarf on her face, Flash still has to drop her head in her hands. “I didn’t do anything weird? Did I?” She thinks back to the table that morning, Soap's laughing and Ghost's not so subtle smile.

“No.” Ghost runs a finger slick with a paste that she quickly recognizes as the salve the doctor had given her for sore joints over her skin. Far from the scratches and cuts on her shoulders. She practically purrs at his touch combined with the cooling effect of the paste. “But you’re very touchy.”

Embarrassment floods hot through her chest and she starts to apologize but Ghost interrupts her again.

“Don’t apologize.” Those fingers drift up and to an unblemished space just past her shoulder. “Just be quiet and let me make up for my mistake.”

“You don’t have to-” Her words end in a sharp moan when his fingers dig into a tender spot against her neck. “Holy shit.” His fingers fumble a bit but he regains his composure quickly, returning back to the spot and rubbing delightful small circles against the knot. “Jesus-” Her mumbling is cut off with a soft hush and she finally gives in, dropping her chin to the heated skin of her chest as he loosens the muscles that had grown stiff after days in bed. When he reaches a spot along the arch of her spine, smoothing deep half circles into the muscle there, a broken whine falls involuntarily from her mouth. It’s entirely pathetic but she’s too far gone to care. This last sound seems to signal him though and he’s stepping back, dropping those magic hands from her lower back.

“Okay.” His voice is breathy ghost of a whisper and despite never seeing his face, Flash knows that if she were to pull the blindfold from her eyes, he’d be shaking and casting his eyes to the floor, those precious strawberry blonde curls falling across his forehead, and cheeks ruddy with the warm blush she’d felt just minutes before. But she leaves it tied neatly against her damp hair, even though her fingers itch to slide the soft fabric from her eyes.

There’s a rustling, Ghost is reaching past her to grab something from the counter and she can practically smell the anxiety leaking from his skin, along with something else she hadn’t noticed until now.

“Is that citrus?” She tries not to sound too surprised, she shouldn’t be. It had been one of the first things she’d noticed when flopping herself onto his bedding. Something she did not want to think about.

“It’s uh- oranges?” He sounds unsure, Flash is about to point this out but he continues. “My mum wore it.” There’s another brief pause. She can practically hear his internal debate over whether or not he should continue. “It’s- It helps with- anxiety.”

“Oh.” She stands there for another moment, not wanting to leave quite yet, but not having anything to say. He doesn’t move either, just stands quietly in front of her. “I like it.”

“Me too.”

Gentle fingers slide the scarf from her eyes, the light of the bathroom is blinding and she has to blink several times to clear the dots from her vision. When her eyes finally focus, she cranes her head upward from the soft cotton of his chest. Ghost’s eyes are staring into the mirror above her, at himself. There’s a small strip of exposed skin between his shirt and balaclava. She can see the collarbone that she’d whispered to so many nights ago.

“I’m going to bed.” She says to the strip, and without looking back at his face, turns and walks as calmly as she can to her room. Even though the racing of her heart screams at her to run, to hide, to grab him by his stupid masked face and kiss him.

The last thought scares her enough that she shuts the bathroom door with a bit too much force. The sound makes her jump. It’s entirely pathetic but the creeping sickness from this morning is gone, replaced with something much much worse. Something deadly, something terrifying, something that makes her want to laugh and cry. So she does both.

It doesn’t help.

_____

Flash can’t wipe the love-sick smile off her face as she walks to their small kitchen. Her water bottle swinging in time with her steps.

“He won’t always be like that.”

The metal bottle clangs loudly against the concrete when her hand slackens in surprise.

“What?” She breathes, heart beating wildly in her chest.

“I said, he won't always be like that.” Soap says from the small couch in the ‘living room’. He’s draped himself lazily over the arm and is flicking through an old copy of the ‘New Yorker’. A cartoonish drawing of pointing Uncle Sam is printed on the front under bold red letters reading ‘I WANT YOU’.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She says calmly, swiping her bottle from the floor and continuing towards the sink, averting her eyes from the dramatic cartoon.

“Oh don’t play coy. You’re smiling like a fuckin’ teenager in love Lass. I know.” His tone isn’t accusing, if anything it's bored. Like he couldn’t be bothered to finish the conversation he’d started. “He’s true to his name. He’ll be kissing you like he needs you to breathe, and then the next mornin’ float right by you. Stings like a bitch. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

“How do you know?” She asks over the flowing tap. “Did you two...” Her half question drifts, waiting for him to pick up. It takes the metal burning into her palm for Flash to realize the water is steaming, she tips the bottle over and starts again.

“Were we together?” He flips another page, casual, like he’s not admitting to fucking his best friend. “I guess you could call it that.”

“He wasn’t interested in that... stuff?” She thinks back to the way his hands trembled the first time he’d touched her, and the way he practically vibrates when their bodies come within inches of each other.

“No,” a devilish chuckle comes from behind the paper “we didn’t have trouble in that department.”

“So you were a thing?” She asks and is blindsided by a sudden burning in her chest. It curls around to tense the line of her shoulders, bringing them closer to her ears like raised hackles.

He finally lowers the magazine and shakes his head at her reaction. “No need to get possessive. It lasted about two months before he realized that fucking every ten minutes wouldn’t fix his shit load of issues.” His words immediately drench her in a cool wave, and an embarrassing guilt flushes high in her cheeks, along with a biting sympathy at his confession. “My feelings were unrequited, unfortunately.” He gives her a sad smile. “He needs someone who isn’t broken. He needs someone who can guide him out of the shit storm he’s been led into.” The magazine is flipped back open and brought back up, his tone turns curious. “Someone like you.”

She starts to deny, to tell him that she is far from unbroken, but Soap waves another hand at her.

“Don’t bother, I don’t care.” A plain lie. “I just wanted to warn you. He can be-” a pregnant pause splits his words, “he can be challenging. He’s got a cargo container of shit that he hasn’t even begun to unpack. It can lead to some pretty rough mood swings.” Soap puts the magazine back down. “What I’m trying to say is he’s a real piece of work, but if anyone deserves the help, it’s him. I just hope you’re the right person.”

Flash can hear the unspoken words ring through the air between them.

‘Because I wasn’t’

When Flash reaches Ghost’s door in the bathroom, away from the prying eyes still pretending to read the old magazine, she knocks softly, waits a few moments, and then knocks again. There’s no response.

He’s blocked himself off again.

Disappointed and trying not to think of Soap’s words, Flash slinks dejectedly back to lie in her bed. Her IPod still lay on her nightstand, nestled in the center of a neatly swirled nest of wires. Right where Ghost had put it her first night there.

Then for some reason, imagining him taking the time to do something so unimportant with so much care, for her no less, sends a wave of something nearing homesickness through her. A brittle sort of feeling. And for the first time in over five years, Flash has the urge to call her sister.

“This is not good.”

A/N: AHHH MY AWKWARD LITTLE BABIES. I hoped you loved this as much as I loved writing it. God I love unhinged relationships, they’re just *chefs kiss*.

#Ghost x reader #Ghost x female oc #SImon riley #Cod fic #Simon Ghost Riley #Alejandro Vargas #Valeria #Modern Warfare 2 #Ghost stories #Headcannons #John soap mactavish #John Price #MW2 #Gaz Garrick

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canirove · 1 month

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In The Name of Love | Chapter 30

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Masterlist

"And on our last day in Ibiza… we meet Pedri! He was super nice, asking us if we liked the photos after we took them and if we wanted to repeat them. Such a sweetheart… And he was with his girlfriend. She also was super nice and the one who took the group photo. She asked us to say Pepi instead of cheese and that's why we are laughing. She made the photo look perfect and one of my favourites from this trip. After that we saw them again outside a bar and you should have seen the way Pedri was looking at her and her smile. So cute! They are couple goals. See, just good comments. And we are couple goals, Val" Pedri says after reading the caption one of the girls we met yesterday wrote on Instagram.

We've been in Ibiza for a week already, and so far everything has been going smoothly and I've kept my promise of enjoying my holidays and my boyfriend. We've gone out for dates or walks just the two of us, to the beach with Ferran and Eric, to some parties… And when people have stopped him or the boys to take a photo, everyone has been lovely both offline and online.

"Yeah, sure" I snort.

"We are. Aren't we, Eric?"

"Uh?"

"Val and I. Aren't we couple goals?"

"What you are is extra cheesy lately. What's gotten into you?" he says.

"Jealous?" Pedri smirks.

"The only thing I'm jealous of is the shirt you wore the other day for dinner. Can I borrow it tonight?"

"Why? Are you meeting with someone?"

"We are going to Ushuaia, remember?" Eric says.

"Are you meeting with someone there?"

"Can I borrow the shirt or not?"

"Don't change the topic, Eric. You are the only one who is single, you know? I have Val, Ferran has his ginger girl, Gavi is seeing someone new too…"

"Pedri, shut up" I say.

"What?"

"Just shut up, those comments aren't funny. They actually are very annoying and can be very hurtful, I know it from experience. And yes, you can borrow his shirt. It's on our room's closet."

"Thank you, Val" Eric smiles.

"I was a prick, wasn't I?" Pedri says when we are alone again.

"Yes, you were."

"I'm sorry."

"You should be apologizing to Eric, not me."

"I will, I promise. And since he talked about tonight… Are you ready to sing your lungs out like the last time?"

"Is Martin going to dedicate me another song?" I ask.

"Maybe" he shrugs. "Or maybe he'll ask you to go on stage with him."

"Pedro!"

"Ouch!" he complains. "I was just joking, there is no need to hit me like that."

"Your jokes suck today, you deserve it."

"And you deserve this."

"Pedri!" I laugh when he starts tickling me.

"You asked for it when you hit me, Val."

"Pedri, stop. Please!"

"Saying that won't help you."

"Pedri… Pedri!" I laugh again when he pushes me on the sofa until I'm laying on my back, he on top of me. "Stop!"

"You really hurt me. I think it is gonna bruise."

"Aww, poor Pepi…"

"Don't tease me, Val."

"Or what, uh? More tickling?"

"Maybe" he says, slowly moving his hands under my t-shirt. "I may not touch you for the rest of our holidays here in Ibiza."

"Ha! You'll be all over me tonight."

"No, I won't."

"Yes, you will, Pedro. You'll see."

"I won't" he repeats, leaning forward until our noses are touching.

"Yes, you…"

"Val, do you… oh, c'mon" Eric says, rolling his eyes. "If you want to have sex go to your room, you aren't alone!"

"We weren't going to do anything. In fact, we won't do anything for the rest of the trip" Pedri says.

"Yeah, sure" Eric snorts. "You will be all over Val tonight, you can't help yourself."

"See?" I say.

"I won't" he insists.

"Ok, then. 24 hours. If you don't manage to go that long without making out with Val or touching her in a sexual way, I'm keeping your shirt."

"And if I manage to do it? What do I get in return?"

"You won't, Pedri" Eric laughs. "But if that's the case, we'll think of something. Deal?" he says, offering him his hand.

"Deal" he says, shaking it.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Val… Stop doing that."

"Doing what?" I ask.

"That."

"I'm just dancing."

"And killing me. Can't you feel it?"

"I actually can, yes" I laugh.

"Then please stop" Pedri says, kissing my neck.

"You are the one who has to stop, we are somewhere public."

"I can't, you look fucking hot tonight. Why did you have to wear this dress? And with your hair up?"

"I know it is one of your favourites" I smile.

"It is. God knows it is" he says as the hand he has on my leg moves up a bit more.

"Pedri…"

"What?" he says against my skin, making me feel goosebumps down my spine.

"Behave yourself."

"I can't."

"Well, you must. Because I'm here to enjoy the full show, not just half of it."

"And I want to enjoy all of you" he says, the arm around my waist tightening.

"Once it ends we can go home if that's what you want. But now you have to behave."

"Urgh" he groans, resting his forehead on my shoulder. "You are the worst, Val. And you've made me lose one of my favourite shirts."

"Oh, poor Pepi" I tease him.

"Rude."

"Pedri!" I yelp when he bites my shoulder.

"You deserve it" he says in my ear. "Gonna go get myself a drink."

"Yeah, go cool down" I laugh.

"I'll be watching you, tho."

"Like a creep?"

"Like the boyfriend who is taking notes of all the things he's gonna do to his girlfriend once she stops torturing him with her dancing and they are home alone."

"Sure" I laugh again. But like has happened it the past, it sounds like a nervous laugh, because he is looking at me in that way that tells me that he isn't joking.

"Enjoy the rest of the show. Then it'll be my turn to enjoy you" he smirks before walking away, leaving me trying to compose myself and focus on the music and not on what will be happening when it ends.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Got to meet these cracks last night in Ushuaia. Top lads! And thank you to Pedri's girlfriend for taking the photo of all of us together. She is hot as hell, no wonder my boy couldn't keep his hands to himself. Told you you looked hot as hell, Val. He's added three fire emojis. Three!" Pedri says after reading another Instagram post, this one from a guy we met last night and who took a photo with him, Eric and Ferran.

"It was just a dress."

"But it is the dress."

"And speaking of clothes… How are you feeling about Eric owning your favourite shirt? Still gutted?"

"Yeah. But mainly because I loved seeing you wearing it."

"We can always buy another one."

"Nah, it's ok. You actually look better like this. Naked."

"Pedri…" I say as he moves to be on top of me and starts kissing my neck.

"I can't keep my hands to myself, Val. I couldn't last night, and I can't right now. You are three fire emojis hot."

"You have loved that, haven't you?" I laugh.

"I have" he says against my skin, the feeling making me gasp. "But there is something that I love a lot more."

"Enlighten me."

"You" he smiles before kissing me.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"I can't even recognize myself."

"Yeah, we both look so weird… But I guess that happens when they take the photos from so far away" Pedri shrugs.

Because the paparazzis had finally caught us.

It had been on our last day in Ibiza, when we had gone out on a boat with Ferran, Eric and Gavi, who had joined us for a few days.

"How do you think they found us?" I ask, still looking at the magazine in my hands.

"Ibiza isn't that big and they know many footballers go there for their holidays. They just have to wait around the most exclusive and touristic places, and sooner or later someone will show up."

"Told you you guys are too predictable. It's like you all share the same brain cell" I tease him.

"We are predictable, yes" he chuckles. "Are you ok, tho? About the photos."

"I mean… It isn't ideal, but yeah."

"Good" Pedri smiles. "Should we buy the magazine?"

"What?"

"We can keep it and share it one day with our grandchildren, telling them: look, this is the first time we were in a magazine."

"Ok" I chuckle.

"And we can do the sudoku and the crossword together on the plane."

"Good idea. So much thinking with your dick instead of your brain isn't good. I don't want you to turn into a Jack Grealish."

"Rude" he says, sticking out his tongue. "But I will never turn into someone like that because, unlike him, I know what an encyclopedia is and I have actually used it. And the paper version, something many people my age can't say."

"Oh, impressive" I laugh.

"Also, have you seen my legs?"

"Your thigh is as big as his calf, yes" I laugh again.

"Exactly. So I will never be like him."

"Good" I smile. "Shall we pay for this, then?"

"Let's go. But we'll need to buy some pens too, one for each. Red and blue?" Pedri says with a teasing smile.

"Fine" I sigh.

"You are the best, Val" he says, kissing my cheek and making me giggle like an idiot.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Pedri, can you please slow down?"

"No."

"You are gonna end up with a horrible stomach ache if you keep eating that fast. Or worse, you may choke."

"I won't choke. Relax, Val" he says.

"I'm not so sure of that…"

"I won't. But ugh, I just can't help myself. I haven't eaten this in so long, and it is so freaking good" he says, giving his food another huge bite.

"You are such a kid" I laugh.

"Yef yu lof me."

"What?"

"Yet you love me."

"Sadly I do, yes."

"Fuck."

"Please tell me you aren't choking."

"Worse" he says, cleaning his face and getting up.

"Pedri, where are you going?"

"To have a word with that guy."

"What?" I say, turning to look at the person he is walking towards. "You gotta be kidding me."

A paparazzi. How did he find us in Tenerife? Did someone tip him off?

"What did you tell him?" I ask Pedri when he comes back to the table.

"That he can take all the photos he wants now, but that he better not follow us back home or I will be calling the police."

"Will they be able to do something, tho?"

"I don't know. But it seemed to scare him enough."

"Hey, Pedri. Are you ok?" I ask, reaching for his hand.

"Yeah, yeah. It's just that… This is my home, you know. Where I get to be just me, where I, we, should be safe. Having them here, following us around, feels…"

"Intrusive?"

"Yeah" he sighs. "I mean, it always does but… yeah. And now I've lost my appetite."

"Why don't we ask them to put all this for a take away and go back home?" I say, giving his hand a little squeeze.

"That sounds great. I could do with some cuddles right now…" he says, trying not to smile.

"Let's do it, then. We can cuddle and then go for a walk around town, maybe watch the sunset on the beach and have dinner there."

"So romantic, Val" he chuckles.

"I have my moments" I smile. "Shall we?"

"C'mon" he smiles back.

The next day our photos are all over the internet and printed in many magazines. And this time, you are able to properly see our faces.

"Is it too bad?" I ask Marina.

"I mean… There are more people talking about it than when the others came out. Most talk about Pedri's funny faces while he ate and the way your were looking and smiling at each other, that you looked really cute."

"But…"

"But now that your face is more visible there are more comments just about you."

"I see… Has anyone put two and two together and realized I'm Ferran's supposed girlfriend?"

"Not yet, they are too busy looking for you on Instagram. But the moment someone does…" Marina says, biting her lip.

"It'll be the Hunger Games" I sigh.

"I don't know what that means, but yeah."

"You don't… what?" I laugh.

"Sorry" she shrugs.

"Ok, remind me to make you watch the movies when I'm back in Barcelona. And read the books too."

"Oh, am I gonna be part of your movie/book club? I'm sure Pedri is as clueless as I am."

"He probably is, yes" I chuckle.

"What am I now?" he says, sitting down next to me. "Hello, Marina."

"Hi" she smiles over the phone. "And you are clueless about the Hunger Games."

"Oh, I know what that is, I've watched the movies."

"Really?" both Marina and I say at the same time.

"Why so surprised?" he laughs.

"Well… you know" I shrug. "Anyway, I'm still making you watch them, Marina."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah… I have to go. I'll keep you updated about everything going on online, ok?"

"Thank you" I smile.

"Enjoy what is left of your holidays!"

"You too" Pedri says before I hang up. "Is it too bad? Online, I mean."

"Not yet. Hopefully the preseason and you looking hot and sweaty will make them forget about me."

"Hot and sweaty, uh?" he says, putting his arm around my waist and pulling me closer to him. "Do you want to end like that too?"

"Now?"

"Why not? Marina told us to enjoy what is left of our holidays, and I can't think of a better way to do it."

"Pedri!" I giggle when he kisses my neck.

"I love you, Val" he says while leaving kisses all over my jaw, the hand that isn't on my waist moving up my thigh.

"I love you too" I reply, my brain starting to disconnect, letting me just feel and forget about everything going on outside. The crazy fans, the paparazzis, the hate…

Right now, it is just me and Pedri.

#Pedri #pedri gonzalez #pedri fanfic #pedri gonzalez fanfic #pedri imagine #pedri gonzalez imagine #football fanfic #football imagine

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megamindsecretlair · 9 months

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Sit Still (Look Pretty), Part 3

Pairing: Nomad Steve x Black!Fem!reader / Plus Size reader

Warnings: 18+. Minors DNI. You are in charge of your own reading experience. There is some making out, porn without plot, PIV unprotected (wrap it up!), fingering (fem receiving), cum play, breeding kink, possession kink, cursing. Mild age gap. Reader is late 20s and Steve is mid 30s. Part 3 of 3, final chapter babayyy!

Summary: AU where Steve was born in modern times but still received a serum in the army to make him a super soldier. He's moved in next door and has noticed you watching him. He's come back from a business trip and the only place he wants to be is with you.

Word Count: 3,528k

Read Part 1 | Read Part 2

A/N: Listen...I know. I got zooted and just kept writing. I have no excuses for myself. Likes are always awesome. Please consider commenting and reblogging to help support writers!

Taglist: @namsey1987 @dayjlovesromance

Steve had been gone nearly three weeks and you were not taking it well. After he effectively made you his fuck doll, he disappeared. Well, that wasn’t fair. You texted all the time and called each other when he was done for the day.

You didn’t know what he did and he wasn’t allowed to tell you. You knew it was dangerous and you knew that the military valued him. As much as the military could value anyone.

You were going stir crazy. He made you feel alive. He had pinpointed something you held close to the vest for so long. He not only sniffed you out, he was able to deliver. And deliver more. And then he just left. Vanished. Poofed.

If you didn’t have such vivid memories, you’d think it was all a dream. Hell, it was starting to feel like one. Which was insane. You knew you sounded insane. But you were bordering on obsession at this point.

You needed to feel his lips on yours. His hands on your body. You needed to hear his filthy words. You needed to see that perfect face lost in your body. You needed to know that you affected him just as much as he affected you.

You didn’t know when he would be back. So there you were. On a Tuesday afternoon staring at your ceiling because nothing mattered anymore. You weren’t depressed. You weren’t that delusional. You just missed him so damn much.

Your parents had noticed a change in you. They often asked what was wrong with you and why you were so sullen all the time. You put on a fake smile every time they come near. It wasn’t like you could admit that you were in desperate need of being bent over and fucked out of your mind.

Your phone buzzed, pulling you out of your strange musings. You wanted to ignore it. But some divine intuition made you reach for it. Steve’s name flashed across the screen. Your heart flipped as you swiped to answer it.

“How’s my best girl?” Steve’s suave voice was like music to your ears. You grinned like an idiot and flipped over in bed.

“Good. Been busy, you?”

“Missing you.”

You giggled. “Steve…”

“Tell me you miss me,” he said.

“You know I do,” you said. You couldn’t stop grinning. You knew that he couldn’t see you and you were silently thankful for it. You looked like an idiot.

“I want to hear the words,” he said. There was shuffling on his end and then the sound of a door closing. He must have made it back to his hotel room early.

“I miss you, Steve.” You added extra sugar to your voice and Steve chuckled.

“Brat. What are you doing?” He asked.

“Getting ready to hang with friends,” you lied. You couldn’t very well tell him that you didn’t want to do anything at the moment but sulk. Sulk and remember the feeling of him all over your body.

“Look out of your window.”

You froze. Surely…surely not. You scrambled out of your bed and threw back your curtains. Across the way, Steve stood in his bedroom window and waved to you. You shrieked.

“When did you get back? Why didn’t you tell me?” You asked. You placed your hand on your window as if you could reach out and touch him. You couldn’t believe that he was there, just a short distance away.

The persistent ache in your chest eased up at the sight of him. It was unnatural to miss someone this much, but you did. You missed him desperately.

“Wanted to surprise you. Get your ass over here,” Steve’s voice dropped to a sultry whisper.

You loosed a breath and grinned. He did not have to tell you twice. You turned and threw on a pair of shorts and a shirt. You realized too late that you stood at the window in your bra and panties. Well hell. He saw more than that weeks ago.

“Don’t you dare change that sexy outfit either.” Steve hung up the phone and it only excited you more.

You ran downstairs and slipped on your sandals. “Where are you rushing off to?” Your mom caught you by the front door. She emerged from the kitchen with glasses around her neck. She looked you up and down and you thanked your lucky stars that she couldn’t see you blush.

“Friends. We’re probably going to head to the mall or something. I’ll text if I catch something with them,” you said.

Two for two on lying. You wished that you felt guilty but you just didn’t. You were bouncing as you stood there. Heat and desire suffused you. You knew you were in for a naughty treat and you didn’t need your mom knowing that the neighbor was ruining her baby girl.

Your mom tilted her head as she looked at you. “I’m glad you seem a bit happier. For real this time. You know I’m here if you ever want to talk,” she said.

“I know, mom. I’m fine. Swear.” You gave her your best smile. She still side eyed you but waved you away. What harm could you get into in Bumfuck, Suburbia? It was a major reason why they moved here in the first place. They didn’t want to worry about you hanging out with friends or being gone all night in less than savory neighborhoods.

You waved as well and headed out of the front door. You quickly skipped past the porch, across the lawn, and over to Steve’s house. Before you could knock, Steve opened the door and smiled at you. He yanked you into the house.

No sooner had the door closed, did he push you against it and crash his lips against you. His hands gripped your waist and pulled you flush against his hard dick. You gasped and the sensation. That allowed him to sweep his tongue inside and deepen the kiss.

Your hands came up to play with the hair at his nape. His hair had grown out a bit making him look wilder, more unkempt. His beard was thicker and it tickled your cheeks but you were too busy being kissed out of your mind.

His kisses grew desperate. He pushed until your back hit the door. His hands wrapped around you and squeezed your ass. He growled low in his throat. He trailed his lips across your jaw, your cheek, your eye, and then dipped to your neck.

“I really missed you, sweetheart,” he murmured against your neck.

“I really fuckin’ missed you, too.”

He rested his forehead against yours and huffed. You rubbed your hands along his massive arms, back, and thin waist. It was criminal how slutty his waist was. You needed to remember him all over again. Every plane and dip of his body. You needed to re-learn all of his looks and smiles.

“Upstairs. Now.” He leaned back far enough for you to scoot from under him. You scurried to the stairs and a swift smack to your ass made you cry out. “Not fast enough.”

You stuck your tongue out at him as you nearly ran up the stairs. Steve thundered behind you, taking the stairs two at a time for your every one step. Your heart pounded in your chest. Pretty soon, it would burst through and run down the street.

Your head felt light. You were equal parts dizzy and free. He spun your head around and you only wanted more.

You didn’t know where he wanted you to go. So far, he’d only fucked you in his office. You hesitated at the top of the stairs. Steve grabbed you by the waist once more and picked you up.

You yelped. You slapped at his arms as he threw you over his shoulder in a fireman's carry. “Steve! Put me down!”

You bounced a little as he carried you to a room. You had a perfect view of his ass as it moved in his tight jeans. You were too busy holding on to his belt to properly smack him back. He, however, smacked yours. His big hands caressed your thighs and you clenched painfully. Your thighs tingled. He hadn’t even done anything yet.

“Are you scared?” He asked.

“Yes! This is…”

Steve flipped you and threw you onto a bed. You bounced and steadied yourself with your hands. You looked at him as he grinned at you.

“I will pick you up whenever…” He leaned down and kissed your calf. “Wherever…” He kissed your knee. “However…” He kissed your thigh. “I damn well please.” He used his nose to lift your shirt and kissed your belly, right on your stretch marks.

You sighed and played with his hair. “Don’t tease me, Steve. Not today,” you said.

He smirked at you and placed more kisses on your tummy. “Afraid not, sweetheart. I have been dreaming of getting back in between your thighs, so I’m going to take my time.”

Your mouth dropped open and your hands stopped their searching. “Steve…”

He chuckled softly. “I’ve been gone a long time. I need to enjoy this. Just like I know you need to enjoy this. So let me,” he said. He trained those deep blue eyes on you. A faint smile curved his lips.

“Okay,” you said and smiled.

His grin was like the first ray of dawn. It lit up his whole face. Your answering smile made his eyes dip slowly. “You can say no at any time. Only say it and I will,” he said.

You nodded. “I know. I want this,” you said.

If possible, his smile only grew. He stood up and looked down at you. You were able to see more of the room. His room was still in progress but it already felt so much like him. There weren’t a lot of frivolous things on his dresser or bookshelf.

His cover was soft but practical. It was a deep blue and incredible to the tough. The mattress was a little stiff but not horrible. You rubbed your hands over it as you looked back at Steve. You had one leg down and one leg up on the bed. He grabbed your ankle of the leg that was up and pulled.

“I gotta inspect you first,” he said.

“What?” That caught you so off guard that you cricked your neck glancing at him.

“I’ve been gone a long time, sweetheart. I gotta make sure you followed my directions,” he said.

Oh god. He was serious about that. When he left without saying a word, you woke up to a text saying that you weren’t allowed to get yourself off or let any other man near you. You had laughed. He couldn’t be serious. Sure, you liked the way he manhandled you, but that rubbed against the grain.

But no, he was serious. So serious, that he called immediately and demanded that you not touch yourself. Like…at all. And baby. You were so frustrated. You felt like you’d die if you didn’t get filled up with something.

Steve began to trail his fingers up and down your legs. When he rubbed the underside of your thighs, you whimpered. You bit your lip. Steve’s eyes seemed to grow edgier. He narrowed them as he continued to glide his fingers on your bare legs.

It was so quiet in the room, that you heard how loud and desperate you were getting. You probably looked pathetic. You gripped your shorts. It was a mixture of wanting to cry and wanting to laugh from the sensation.

“Please, don’t. Don’t tease me. I followed your directions,” you said.

“How do I know that for certain? You could’ve been a bad girl,” he said. He reached for your shorts and unbuttoned them. He pulled them roughly over your thick thighs.

You could feel yourself getting wetter by the second. Steve opened your legs as far as they would go. He looked at your lacy white panties. No garters this time. You couldn’t stand anything more than a simple set for the past few weeks.

Between the heat and lack of sex, you were stuck in the middle of uncomfortable and turned on.

You shook your head. “I swear. I listened,” you said.

“You still have to prove it, sweetheart,” he said.

There was nothing you could say to change his mind. You were at his whim and it didn’t frighten you. It should. It definitely should but it didn’t.

Still holding your knees open, he leaned down and sniffed your pussy. You gasped at finally getting some stimulation. You were incredibly sensitive. He pressed his nose in, rubbing you up and down through your panties. You sighed and moaned. You tossed your head back and forth and dug your nails into his covers.

“I need more,” you whined.

“I know what you need.” He kissed your pussy and you moaned again. He kissed his way up your center. He kissed your tummy. He licked certain areas and bit in other places. The alternating pain and tickles drove you insane.

He skirted his fingers down your side before he moved it down to your aching cunt. You whined as he rubbed you outside of your panties. It felt good, sure, but you needed more. You needed direct contact.

You tapped pathetically at his arm. “I need more,” you said.

“It’s my inspection, sweetheart. You’ll get what I want you to get,” he said.

You cried again and writhed under his excellent fingers. He increased his pressure and you started mumbling and making noises. You got so, so close.

Steve stalled his fingers and pressed into your clit. “No, no, no no,” you cried. Fuck, you were so close. Just a little more.

“Shhh,” Steve said. He moved his hand up and pushed on your lower tummy. It flipped and you breathed through it. Steve breathed with you and you stared into his eyes as you came down.

Steve leaned back when you had calmed down and looked at you. “You’ve made a mess in your panties, sweetheart,” his voice rumbled in his chest.

Your aching pussy clenched and you cried a bit. “Please, Steve. I was good. I swear,” you pleaded.

You needed to cum right this second. “I’ll be the judge of that.”

He sat up and tugged on your panties until they were past your feet. He gripped your thighs in his big hands and spread you. He looked his fill at your wet pussy. You were leaking down your ass cheek.

He just sat there, looking at the way you clenched around nothing. Your body was electric. Heat suffused you. Your desire continued a slow trail out of you. You couldn’t stand it anymore.

Steve ran his index finger through your damp curls. He moved his finger until he spread you and swiped at your pussy. You bucked off of the bed. You were not prepared for that simple little motion.

Your nub was hard as he slid his finger through your folds. You cried out and bit your lip. The painful bite paled in comparison to the magic Steve was working with his fingers. Pressure built in your lower belly as your legs began to shake.

“Have you touched yourself since I’ve been gone, sweetheart?”

“Whaa?” You couldn’t concentrate on his voice and concentrate on getting off. You didn’t know how much longer you could last through this torture. You’d give up the nuclear codes if it meant that he would just let you cum.

“Did you touch what was mine?” He asked.

“No, I swear.” Your throat burned from how hard you were panting. Your fingers twisted in his covers.

He slid his finger inside of you with no warning. He hummed as if he was satisfied with how you squeezed his fingers. He slid another one in and you dropped your mouth open. “You can take more than that,” he said. He pushed a third finger into you and you grinded on his fingers. He stretched you so well.

“That’s it,” he said. He coached you through taking his fingers. He told you when to slow down and when to speed up. He encouraged you to fuck his fingers and prove how good you were for him.

“Ohhh,” you repeated over and over. Desire pooled in your tummy. You squeezed his fingers. “That’s my girl. Just like that, sweetheart.”

It was the ‘sweetheart’ that did you in. You came with a fierce moan and clamped down on his fingers. Your eyes crossed as you shook and jerked. Steve continued to move his fingers into you.

“That’s my girl. You’re so fucking pretty when you cum,” he said. He stared at you and the pretty faces you were making for him.

You panted as you came down. Sweat clung to your body. Your harsh breath blew across your damp stomach. When he was satisfied, he pulled his fingers out of you and licked his fingers. You cried at this sight. His hand glistened with your slick and you cried again.

“I want to keep going, but I need to cum in that pussy.”

“Fuck, yes, Steve.” You whined and turned doe eyes on him.

Steve yanked at his sweatpants and pulled them off in one go. His tank top went next. He snapped it on the floor. He climbed onto the bed and used his big thighs to push your legs back.

You had a proper ache beginning in your back but you didn’t care. You were about to have the ride of your life.

Steve grabbed his thick cock and glided it through your wet arousal. He circled your clit with it and you licked your lips. Fuck, why did that feel so good?

No more games. You hiked your legs onto his waist and he pushed at your entrance. He kept going, pushing into you. You brought your hand up to push against him. He felt too good. You dug your nails into his chest and he grunted.

“Steve…oh god,” you said. You didn’t know what you were trying to say but pleasure robbed you of speech. It robbed you of thinking clearly.

He kept pushing in until he bottomed out and you both groaned out. He collapsed on top of you as if he couldn’t support himself anymore. He groaned and bit your titty through your shirt.

“Fuck, I missed this sweet pussy,” he groaned into your ear. “Oh fuck,” he continued.

You bit at his shoulder as he twitched inside of you. You squeezed his dick and made him groan again. “Fuck, sweetheart,” he said.

He pushed himself up and off to the side. He lifted your shirt and palmed your breasts through your bra. He lowered each cup and began to lick on your left nipple. He moaned as he laved at it with the flat of his tongue. With each swipe, you felt more desire in your belly. You clenched his dick and he groaned.

He started to move. You were so wet, he almost had a hard time staying in. He began to stroke you deep and hard and slow.

“Oh fuck. Oh fuck. Oh fuuck,” you moaned.

He switched to your other nipple and paid it the same attention he did the other one. He nipped at your nipple and you jerked beneath him.

“Let me hear it, sweetheart. Give me one more,” he said. He twitched his hips and reached a spot hidden deep within you.

You cried out soundlessly and stared agape at him. You grabbed at his chest leaving thin red streaks in his skin.

“Breathe, sweetheart. Breath for me,” he said. He hit that deep spot over and over. You stared into his eyes as he smiled patiently and adoringly at you.

“You feel so good. And you’ve been such a good girl for me. Taking all of me. I’m so proud of you,” he said.

“Fuuuuck,” you screamed as you came. The way your thighs locked Steve to you, made him tense as he came deep within you. Hot jets of his come squirted inside of you. You felt it all. You felt so full and blissed out. You closed your eyes and rode your orgasm silently. He had fucked all of the breath out of you.

“I missed you, sweetheart. I missed this pussy too. Stay with me tonight,” he said.

“What?” You croaked out.

“Stay with me. I’m gonna need to reassert my place right here,” he said and stroked you again.

“Steve, please. I can’t. No more,” you pleaded.

“Say you’ll stay. I’ve got three weeks worth of load to fill you up with.” He pushed in and out of you with a slow glide so that you felt every inch of him. Every ridge and vein.

“Fuck, yes. Yes, I’ll stay.”

Your eyes were turning watery. You blinked up at him and his cocky smile. “That’s my girl,” he said. And he took you again until you were dizzy with pleasure and making sure the whole neighborhood heard how Steve was tearing you apart.

Read Part 1 | Read Part 2

There's more Steve! The Secret Nomad Steve Files

#megaminds secret files #The Secret Nomad Steve Files #marvel smut #Nomad Steve x Black!reader #Nomad Steve x Black reader #Nomad Steve x Fem!reader #Nomad Steve x fem reader #Nomad Steve x reader #Nomad Steve x you #Nomad Steve #Nomad Steve Rogers #Steve Rogers fic #Steve Rogers smut #Steve Rogers Captain America smut

128 notes · View notes

shina913 · 2 years

Text

Coquet, Part 9 | JJK

Coquet, Part 9

\ kō-ˈket Definition: noun. a man who indulges in flirtation.

✫✫✫Coquet Masterlist✫✫✫

Pairing: Escort!JJK x Fem-reader

Rating: M (🔞)

Genre: Fake-dating!AU; Strangers to lovers; fluff; angst; smut

Warnings: ANGST(!!!); pining; vulnerable confessions; some sexually-explicit conversations; cussing; self-deprecation; very slight hint of sexual tension; some medical terminologies

Word count: 11.8K+ words

Summary: On your brother's wedding, you dread traveling to see your family–whom you have successfully avoided for over a year after moving across the country for work. In an effort to save face, you hire an escort to get them off your back and perhaps even make your ex–who happens to be the best man–a little jealous.

A/N: Sorry this took so long! I had to sit in my feelings--just like my loves here. I also had a terrible case of writer's block while working on this. I was constantly questioning the direction that I was taking the narrative in. In the end, I went with the more realistic, sensible approach rather than going for instant gratification. And while the latter is easier and seems more satisfying, I wanted to maintain my core writing style--and that's making my characters earn the ending that I am setting them up for.

A/N2: Multiple POV switches occur here. I've tried to add headings to serve as a marker as to whose "headspace" you're in. Hope that helps! 😬

A/N3: The 'medical' portion here was directly lifted from an episode of House (love that show!). Just slightly paraphrased (for the dramz)! Also, if you've read my other works--let me know if you've picked up my not-so-subtle easter egg here 🤗

Needless to say, no wedding occurred the following day. Taehyung calmly explained things to your parents last night when he got back to the hospital. They were rightfully disappointed and extremely confused, but he didn’t leave them much room to complain about it.

There was no sign of Jennie or her family this morning either. Auntie Dahlia may have let slip that they left around dawn–before everybody else.

You wait patiently in the lobby with your suitcases as different groups board shuttles. Some were headed to the airport whilst others headed to a separate dropoff area where most local guests and relatives parked.

You were headed to your parents’ house to pick up one of their cars to drive back to the hospital so you could be there when your dad gets discharged. Instead of rebooking an earlier flight, you decided to spend your last night in your childhood home and leave on the day you had originally planned.

Too many thoughts, feeling so many emotions, you sighed and checked your flight’s confirmation email for the nth time.

You still had notifications turned on for any changes and last night you received an alert about one of the itineraries that you booked–Jungkook’s. Your phone pinged indicating that he flew out at 6:30 this morning.

Your fingers hovered on the text window’s keypad for a few seconds before closing out of it. You did the same thing last night after finding the envelope containing the money that you had given him at the beginning of the week. You didn’t care to count it.

You regretted lashing out at him. He was the unwitting recipient of your rage. Not to mention that you said the most awful words to him. Words you couldn’t take back.

It was not how you envisioned this trip ending.

Had you actually made plans to go out on a date with him? The last few days seem like a fever dream now after how things went down last night.

Haru was gone and you felt nothing. Jennie left but not before apologizing last night, trying to make things right. It counted for something but didn’t make their betrayal hurt less.

And now Jungkook was gone. You hunch over your knees and bury your head in your hands. That seemed like a harder pill to swallow.

You are pulled from your thoughts when you hear someone clearing their throat. Lifting your head slightly, you flick your eyes sideways and spot the tips of a pair of Chelsea boots. When you glance up, you see Jimin smiling at you. You force a smile in return.

He nudges your leg playfully, prompting you to scoot over so he could settle in the empty space next to you. You sit side-by-side in silence for a minute until you feel his arm curl around you, pulling you closer to him. You instinctively rest your head on his shoulder, releasing a deep, shaky breath so your tears wouldn’t fall.

Jimin could run his mouth if and when wanted to. You had a feeling that he had plenty to say about everything that happened last night, but he seems to settle with rubbing the side of your arm. It was comforting.

He finally breaks the silence with a mundane question. “Need a ride to the airport in a couple days?”

You sighed. “Will it be a quiet ride?”

“As quiet as you want it to be,” he promises.

You nodded. Straightening out, you look around the lobby, as if expecting somebody familiar to come walking by. “Is Mindi still up in her room packing?”

He closes one eye and squints, as if weighing his answer. “Sort of? She says she needs time to psych herself up before she sees you.”

You gave him a look of confusion. “Why would she need to do that?”

Jimin shifted in his seat. “She kind of feels guilty. By association.”

You groaned at the sound of that. “Chim, you know I don’t see it like that.”

“I know. I talked to her about it last night and this morning at length. She felt that she should have known–with her and Jennie being attached at the hip and all. And if she had known, she’d be the first to sound the alarm.” He simultaneously reasons with you and defends his sister’s emotions.

You tilted your head back and sighed. You rubbed your eyes, completely drained of life. You didn’t want all of this guilt floating around you, not when you had guilt of your own that you had to deal with.

“Jennie seemed like she was ready to take that secret to the grave,” you say, sounding distant.

“Mm. That’s the thing with people who seem too good to be true. They’re overcompensating for something,” he replies cynically.

Your eyebrows quirked and you glanced sideways at him. You wondered if maybe he had your secret figured out.

He lifted a shoulder, continuing. “But…sometimes, there are things that seem dubious but aren’t. You spend enough time being a skeptic, it makes it hard for you to tell whether something or someone is actually being genuine.”

“What if a person is just too gullible?”

He smirked at you. “Gullibility has its pros and cons. For one, people think you easily fall for something without even thinking it through. On the other hand, it means you believe that there’s inherent good in the world and that you’re not a complete cynic.”

You exchanged quiet looks. You felt guilty about keeping this secret from him. You were always very close, even when you were kids. Although you and Mindi played together more often, it was Jimin whom you spent the most time talking to.

“I don’t think you’re a cynic. Far from it. You just got dealt a bad hand. But you know what we always say after all those trips to Vegas? If you bust on this hand, you can either bet again or walk away. And nine times out of ten you bet again.”

You gave him a crooked smile. “I don’t know, Chim. I think you overestimate me too often.”

“I don’t overestimate you. I’m just somebody who wants to root for you.”

You stared at him for a minute, unaware that tears had pushed their way through. You hugged him tightly. “What would I do without you, Jiminie?”

He hummed. “Yeah. I love you, too.”

******

Jungkook

“‘Hello, Dr. Sakai!” A pair of nurses greet one of the residents checking in for her shift.

“Hi!” She responds cheerfully as she walks past them to proceed to the lockers. As soon as she crosses the threshold, she is stopped dead in her tracks.

“What the–what are you doing here?”

“Hello to you, too, Mayumi.” Jungkook chuckles as he shuts his locker and adjusts his lab coat. “I work here, remember?”

She shook her head. “Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I thought you weren’t due back for another couple days?”

He shrugged. “Trip ended early.” His tone is clipped, with a slight edge to it. He stretches his shoulders and his neck–as if getting ready for battle. After landing an hour ago, he picked up a shift at the hospital and jumped right into work. Thankful for the time difference, at least he could keep his mind occupied for a few hours.

“Oh-kay,” Mayumi said slowly as she stared at Jungkook suspiciously.

“What?” He raised his eyebrows at her.

“Nothing!” She says dismissively. “I guess I’ll see you in a couple minutes for rounds, yeah?”

“Yep,” he says wryly before walking away.

******

After rounds, Mayumi and Jungkook hang out by the nurse’s station to finish up their patient notes. Mayumi keeps glancing at Jungkook, who was deeply invested in a patient’s post-op tonsillectomy.

“You’re being very detailed about that case,” she remarks.

“Oh you know, just making sure we cover all the bases. Wouldn’t want a medical malpractice suit because we had sparse notes,” he says dryly.

“Riiiiight,” she drags out. “Because our legal department is teeming with suits from tonsillectomies that have gone awry.”

He sighed briefly, nose still buried into his notes. “You know, there was a fairly recent case from this state–it was supposed to be a simple, routine procedure–and then the patient fell into a coma. Well…not on my watch!”

Mayumi rolls her eyes. “By the way–thank you for the consult a couple days ago. I’m sorry I kept bugging you with calls during your vacation.”

“I didn’t mind at all. Did the additional heavy metal tox screen turn up results?”

She nodded. “You were right. I really thought it was lupus but we went back to your heavy metal poisoning theory. We only kept ruling it out before because none of the initial tests came back with useful results–at least, nothing on the usual heavy metal suspects: lead, cadmium, mercury. Then I did as you suggested–expanded the test to the other metals.” She paused for dramatic effect. “Gold sodium thiomalate, if you can believe it? It was from their arthritis medication.”

He looked up, chuckling softly, pleased with himself. “Hm, interesting. That ingredient is not even approved to be used in arthritis medication in this country so…they must have acquired it from somewhere else.”

“Yep! They eventually confessed that their insurance wouldn’t cover the prescription so they went by other means.”

He nods vaguely. Happy that he was able to get a diagnosis correctly–even from afar. He turned back to his notes.

“You know–I envy you so much. Out of our cohort, you have the best instincts,” Mayumi remarked.

He scoffs. “Sure. Instincts,” he repeats blandly.

“Yeah. You take one look at a patient and your mind’s already running through a list of potential diagnoses. You already know what to do.”

He hums, turning back to his notes, not really having anything else to offer Mayumi. Tired of his standoffish attitude this morning, she finally shuts the clipboard flap of one of her patients’ records and turns her full attention to him.

She asks him point-blank. “Okay, dude…do I have to ask?”

“No idea what you’re talking about, Yumi,” Jungkook says without lifting his eyes off his clinical notes.

Mayumi snorts. “Seriously? You’re going to try and deflect now? After your moping and pouting during rounds?”

He sighs heavily, “I was not moping or pouting,” he protested quietly. He scratches his head, intent on remaining distracted.

Mayumi wouldn’t let up. “Did you not get laid this week or—“

Still not looking up from his notes, he cleared his throat uncomfortably.

Judging by his reaction, her mouth grew into a wide grin. “Ahh…so you did. But something else happened…and that’s why you’re back early, throwing yourself into work so you don’t have to lick your wounds for long.”

He exhales sharply and finally turns to her. “Yumi, it doesn’t matter, okay? Now come on, help me clean up the notes here. Your handwriting is shit, by the way.”

She laughs and stops teasing him but makes a mental note to bring it up again later. Just then, their attending rounds them up again to discuss an ongoing case.

******

Back at the hospital, you were just waiting for all paperwork to be signed and the doctor to give his final sign-off before your dad was free to go.

As you exit your dad’s room, you find Taehyung sitting in the hallway, scrolling through his phone. He looks up and gives you a small smile when you sit next to him.

He looked tired–like he had been up all night. You knew because you barely got any sleep too. You basically just laid in bed, with your eyes closed but still fully aware of your surroundings.

“How are you?”

He chuckled bitterly then sighed. “I’m alive. How ‘bout you?”

You smiled sadly. “I’m alright.”

His smile faded. “Are you, really?”

You shrugged. “It’s not like I can change the past, Tae. But at least I got answers to my questions,” you say wryly.

He lowered his head in his hands and rubbed his eyes. “What a mess I’ve made, huh?”

Your eyebrows knitted at him. “Oh Tae,” you say sympathetically.

“I’m so sorry…”

“Sorry for what? You didn’t do anything.”

“I’m sorry for…not fighting hard enough for you. For not… choosing you.”

You sighed. “Taehyungie, I did not make you choose. I made the choice. I knew how much Haru meant to you. I didn’t want to put you in a tough spot.”

“Still…I feel bad about it. My best friend and my fiancée…I…” He shook his head, at a loss for words. After a long beat, he wonders, “You think she lied to protect Haru?”

“Oh God, no!” Your reaction was instantaneous. “But…if anything? I think that she was protecting your friendship with Haru.” You moistened your lips before continuing. “He was there for you when your mom died. Dad told me back then that he was the only one who could get you talking and playing again. Jennie knows how special that connection was and didn’t want to come between that. And…neither did I when I decided to move away.”

He sighed heavily. “What she did…you know, lying about it? I think what hurt more wasn’t really the betrayal, but it was more the idea of her thinking that I couldn’t handle the truth…or that I didn’t have the emotional capacity to manage my feelings if she had told me about it.”

“Would it have changed your mind about pursuing a relationship with her if she had just told you from the outset?” You asked him.

He pursed his lips and shrugged. “I mean…I don’t know. I obviously can’t answer that now,” he says vaguely. “But…I still would have liked to be given the opportunity to make that decision for myself–instead of her deciding for me.”

You exhaled deeply, silently agreeing with him. “Have you talked to her?”

He shook his head slowly. “She’s texted me some but–I don’t know what to say to her. I…don’t know if I should even talk to her.”

“How come?”

“It just feels wrong,” he says quickly.

“What feels wrong?” You pressed him. As his sister, who loved him unconditionally as if you’d shared the same DNA–you understood that he would stew, go in circles and beat himself up about this unless you made it clear to him that he would not be disrespecting you in any way if he chose to make things work. All you wanted was for Taehyung to be happy.

He shrugged, not wanting to answer the question. “Is it because–you’re worried about how I would feel if you tried to patch things up with her?”

He raised his head and looked at you with sad eyes, confirming your theory.

“Tyeongie…” You tilted your head gently and faced him. “Listen to me. Whatever happened to Haru and I–that’s all done. We were over when I arrived at the beginning of the week and it has remained that way even after the truth came out.”

“But Jennie–”

“Jennie did what she thought was right at the time.” You cleared your throat and decided to tell Taehyung that you spoke to her. “She…sought me out, you know…last night. And we talked. She apologized and…I’ve made peace with it.”

His expression softens.

“You know, you and Jennie–what you two have is the real thing. What she did hurt me, yes. But neither you, me, nor she can change that fact. I see how much she loves you; she takes good care of you; and I see how happy she makes you. I understand that you’re conflicted–she hurt me but you still love her–those are both valid feelings.”

He leaned his head back against the wall and sighed, chewing at his bottom lip. You reached up to him and squeezed his cheek gently, making him smile a little.

“Do you feel differently than when you did back when you made that whole speech about your love for her growing and evolving?” You asked him.

He shook his head quietly.

“Okay so…talk to her,” You urged him. “Answer her texts and her calls. Because trust me,” you clutched your chest, “It would absolutely rip me apart if I took your happiness away from you. What kind of a sister would I be?”

He chuckled. “You know, it’s funny–Jungkook said something similar to me when we spoke, after I dropped him off at the hotel last night. About–feeling torn between two polarizing feelings.”

You forced a smile. The topic of Jungkook was still a sore spot for you. “Well, I guess great minds think alike,” you joked.

He nodded. “Have you talked to him yet?”

You start to internally panic. “Uhm, n-no. He’s…he’s dealing with a complicated case so…I’m waiting for him to come off that. I don’t want to stress him out.”

“I really like him for you, you know. He’s different–I can tell. It’s like…all he wants is for you to be happy. He’s the perfect guy for you. In fact, he couldn’t be more perfect if you’d picked him out of a catalog,” he chuckled.

You gulped, feeling a pang of guilt. You suddenly feel the urge to come clean to your brother.

“Tae–I need to tell you something about Jungkook and I.”

“Hm? And what’s that?”

You let out a shaky breath. “Uhm…J-Jungkook is–

“Freedom!” You are both startled when your dad yells triumphantly as he is wheeled out of his room by your mom.

Taehyung beams as he stands up to approach him, seemingly forgetting about the last thing you said.

You smiled warmly, approaching your dad and crouching down to kiss him on the cheek. He wraps you both in a tight embrace–as if you were still little kids–kissing the tops of your heads.

“Let’s go, kiddos! I’ve been itching to get out of here.”

********

Jungkook

“So…did she not pay you enough or—“

“Geez, Mayumi!” He whispered harshly through gritted teeth, trying to shush her. “Someone could hear you.” He glanced around the cafeteria. It was a few minutes after the lunch rush so it was relatively quiet.

“Dude, I’ve told you before, there’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’m sure a lot of people here have done crazier, possibly worse things than being an escort to put themselves through med school,” she mutters, before they settle into a table in the corner. She takes a bite of her salad.

//FLASHBACK

Mayumi and Jungkook have spent many nights together during their early med-school years. Jungkook took night classes while he moonlighted as an escort. Some nights, he’d show up to class out of breath, as if he’d just run a marathon–with his hair all brushed up, cologne in full-force. His first question was always, ‘What’d I miss?’

Jungkook wasn’t a slacker. In fact, he was a very diligent student and she didn’t mind filling him in or lending him notes sometimes. She just noticed that he sometimes had poor time management skills. At the time, she didn’t think it was her place to criticize him. She wasn’t his mother. After a while, she really didn’t think much of it until he showed up to class in a suit. She thought it was an isolated incident until he did it two more times.

It was a little jarring for her, to say the least and being inherently curious, she finally asked him about it while they were at the library trying to figure out an assignment.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Uh–sure,” he answered tentatively.

“Do you have, like, another job or something?”

“W-what makes you think that?”

“Oh, you know–you always seem like you’re rushing into class. Sometimes, very formally dressed,” she states.

He chuckled nervously. “I’m sure a lot of us work while we go to night school,” he mumbles.

“Riiight,” she drags out. “Your job seems very high-end, though.”

He scoffed again as he looked up from a medical journal that he was perusing. “Just because I’m in a suit, I’m high-end? I could be working a catering job.”

“Not with those Gucci lace-ups you had the other day, you’re not.”

Jungkook’s eyebrow quirks ever-so-slightly, trying his best not to give anything away.

“What do you know?” He says quietly.

They stare at each other in silence. Mayumi, with a smirk playing on her lips. “I also saw you the other night at the parking lot getting dropped off by a town car.”

“I could have just asked someone for a favor.”

“Mm-hm. How would you account for your thousand-dollar shoes?”

“Consignment store, for all you know,” he argued.

He had a point. Living in a city with a high cost of living rate, if you are patient enough to search, you can find a treasure trove of bougie designer digs. “‘Kay,” she says sarcastically. “What about that Cartier trinity bracelet you have on now?” Her eyes flick downward at his wrist.

He mirrors her action and tries to cover it up with his shirt sleeve. To the untrained eye, it looked like a cheap, plain, nylon corded bracelet. But the metal rings that held it together were gold, platinum, and rose gold–worth way beyond the means of a med student on ‘financial aid’.

“Oh yeah…I like nice things, too, you know,” she smiled. Mayumi may be on financial aid, too–but she appreciated looking at fancy things.

He glared at her and lowered his voice. “It’s not what you think,” Jungkook mutters dismissively and turns his attention back to his medical journal.

They fall silent again. Mayumi’s wheels turning at Jungkook’s answer for each of her queries. ”I have a theory,” she declares.

“Oh yeah? Congratulations,” he says sarcastically.

“My guess? Is that you have a sugar momma.”

Jungkook snorts. “You couldn’t be more wrong.” He tries to sound dismissive but shifts uncomfortably while he turns back to the article that he was reading about ‘palliative care.’

Mayumi sees his discomfort and puckered her lips. “But I’m close, aren’t I? Come on…we’re clearly in this for a few years. I need some sort of excitement in my life other than memorizing a list of infectious diseases alphabetically.”

“Can’t you just pick up a hobby or something? What are you picking on me for?” He says, getting irritated.

“I can keep a secret,” she says to him point-blank. “And…if you want to bum off my notes on the intrinsic cardiac nervous system–complete with detailed illustrations–you have to pay the piper first.”

Honestly, Jungkook didn’t need the detailed illustration–he knew he had much better anatomical drawings than Mayumi. But…he was desperate for those notes. He missed that lesson because one of his dates ran longer than expected so he couldn’t leave in time to make his class. And nobody else cared enough to lend him their notes except for Mayumi.

He shuts the medical journal and looks around to make sure that nobody was listening in. “Fine. But I need you to have an open mind about it, deal?”

She stuck her hand out and he clasps it in a handshake.

//END FLASHBACK

“I’m not ashamed,” Jungkook says as sets his tray down. “I just don’t want my business out there for everyone else to pick apart, you know?”

“Seriously though, how many people can say they barely have any student debt at this stage, huh? You did that,” she points to him. She drags a third chair towards her to prop her foot on it while she continues to dig into her lunch. “I wish I could make a dent in my student loans,” she chuckled humorlessly. “I’m sure Hyunjung is regretting buying me a ring instead of making a loan payment.”

Jungkook snorted. “Please. That guy would move heaven and earth for you. And don’t pretend you don’t love said ring,” he points out before taking a bite of his lunch.

She sighed dreamily. “It is a pretty ring,” she admits. Mayumi and her fiance had just gotten engaged a couple weeks before Jungkook left for his trip.

After a moment of silence and a few bites, Jungkook asks, “Was it everything you hoped for?”

She looks up from her phone at the sound of the question. “What do you mean? Getting engaged?” She regards him curiously.

“Well…that and,” he gestures with his hand vaguely, “…Your relationship in general. I mean, how did you know that Hyunjung was the one? What made you say ‘yes’?”

She takes a moment to think about it before answering. “I mean, I love him, obviously. But—was our relationship everything that I hoped for? The short answer is ‘no,’ if I’m taking your question literally. It’s not everything, because that’s just impossible to achieve and completely unrealistic. I only hoped to find someone who’d love me enough to want to be with me for the rest of their natural life. And if you’re the religious kind, possibly the next life, too.” She answered.

He nods vaguely then chugs his water down, wishing it was a beer or something stronger instead.

She watched him carefully, waiting for him to open up further about how this week went.

“You ever think someone could see past…my past? Like, forget all that existed and just see me for who I am now?”

She smiled sympathetically at him. “Kookie, your past is a part of you. It’s part of your present and will still be part of your future. When you start separating a person from their experiences, that’s when they stop becoming whole. So, if someone can’t accept the whole you, then, maybe they don’t deserve you.”

He pursed his lips and turned pensive.

“I thought she was picking up what I was putting down,” he muttered.

Mayumi smiled triumphantly. “Did you actually tell her how you felt?” She asks.

“I mean…I asked her out,” he answers.

She let out a laugh. “So? That doesn’t mean anything!”

“What do you mean? Asking her out meant that I was showing her that I was interested!”

She rolled her eyes in an exaggerated manner. “Jungkook, unless you explicitly tell them how you feel–despite how obvious you are–an invitation to a date is a prelude. Just enough to garner expectations. Expectations…that may or may not even get fulfilled!”

Now it was his turn to roll his eyes at her but lowered his voice. “Don’t you think I know how to fulfill women’s expectations? Shit, I did it for years! And I have actual written testimonies that prove it!”

She scoffed at his arrogance. “Those were jobs. You were obligated to do it! Now, you’re talking about something in a completely different setting and context.”

“I thought I was being explicit about how I felt,” he argued strongly.

She narrowed her eyes at him. “Have you actually been in a serious relationship before?”

“Yes, I have!” He countered.

“And how long ago was that?”

He thought back to his pre-escort days, sighing in defeat. It was quite a while ago.

“Like I said,” Mayumi makes her point in between bites of her lunch. “Is that the reason why you left? I thought you wanted, quote-unquote, ‘one last ride,’” she says, mocking his voice.

He grimaced. “I thought it was going well at first…seemed like we were on the same page.” He balled up his napkin and lobbed it right into the garbage bin.

“And then–I don’t know what happened. It’s like, everything that I had done and told her–it all went to shit. I let my guard down, got all vulnerable, only to have it all thrown at my face in the end.”

Mayumi cocked her head slightly and gave him a sympathetic look. “Have you two talked since?”

He shook his head. Emotions were running high that evening. YN was reeling from her ex and her friend’s betrayal. It was a lot to take in. He knew within him that her anger was misplaced…and he was willing to put that aside until she called him names.

That’s what you are. A liar.

“Our last day ended in chaos, to say the least.”

He goes on to give Mayumi highlights of what happened that day and how emotionally charged everything was.

“So, I just…left,” he finishes.

“Maybe it’s just taking longer for the dust to settle for her. Not to make excuses but, that seems like a lot for one person to take in one night.”

“I get that. I guess…I overestimated the level of trust that we built in those last couple days.”

Mayumi sighed. “Kookie–you can’t expect trust to just bloom within a matter of days. And, can I play devil's advocate here? I get that she started out as a client for you but if you wanted to take things to the next level, I feel like you should have given her a bit more room for error, don’t you agree?”

He pouted his lips and thought about it for a few seconds before begrudgingly acknowledging her point. “I guess.”

“Buuut–I also understand that some hurtful words were exchanged. That’s an equally difficult position to be in.” She eyed him silently. “Welp…it’s like what you always say whenever we stress over a case: if at the end of the day, you’d still rather give up than try, then nothing’s ever going to be worth it.”

He exhales glumly, right before their pagers go off and they start scrambling out of the cafeteria.

******

Days later, you flew back home without incident. When you arrived at the airport, a familiar face welcomed you.

“Hey babe.” Cristina says softly after she pulls up to the curb. She popped her trunk and asked if you needed help with your things. You shook your head gently and proceeded to load up your luggage in the back.

She gave you a smile and a hug when you slid into the passenger seat before pulling into the flow of traffic. It was a 10-minute drive which you spent quietly staring out the window.

You arrive at your home, leaving your things by the doorway. You mumbled your thanks to Cristina before heading straight to your bedroom.

She followed shortly, finding you curled up on your side. You hear her sigh before feeling the mattress sink as she sits on it.

“Do you want to talk about it?” She rubs your back soothingly.

With a sniffle, you answered, “No. Not yet.”

You didn’t see her nod but you felt her lay next to you. She held you for however long that was…until you were all cried out for the night.

******

A few days later, you had just wrapped up an off-site client meeting within the city and were headed to your lunch date with Cristina. She waved you over by the outdoor patio as you came around the block.

“Hey babe! Love that color on you,” she comments on your outfit.

You gave her a small smile. Cristina wouldn’t compliment anyone if she didn’t mean it. It was one of the things you loved about her. You knew you’d made a friend for life when she told you how garish your shoes were during a holiday party with your company partners and subsidiaries.

To be fair, the shoes were an impulse purchase. You had just moved to a new city–barely a month into your new job and was going through one of your waves of homesickness and self-pity. A dangerous combination. You ended up buying these ridiculously bright green Bottega Venetta sandals with curly telephone-cord straps. You were ashamed to admit how much you spent on them. But Cristina, being the great lawyer that she was, came up with a compelling argument to the sales representative at customer service when you returned them.

“Thanks for meeting me. Sorry I’ve been such a lump.” You gave her a quick hug and air-kisses.

“That’s alright. I’m always up for good food and even better company,” she says with a smile after you both take your seat. “Maybe even some juicy conversations, if you are so inclined.”

You laughed. “I thought we were just going to have a nice lunch?”

She gives you a deadpan look. “Come on…you’re due for a good bitch-session. It’s been, what? Close to a week since you got back?”

You shifted in your seat uncomfortably. You remembered the day she picked you up from the airport. You didn’t have the strength to talk about things then. Although you had talked to your family, you couldn’t be as open as you liked...especially about Jungkook, even though you’ve alluded to the situation in every conversation you’ve had with Jimin and Taehyung. Your family had this picture-perfect idea of what your life is like now and were more concerned about you reeling from the big Haru-Jennie betrayal situation–which, if you were being honest, now seems to pale in comparison to your blowup with Jungkook.

Cristina knew everything–everything you wouldn’t dare tell your family. How you fell into a depression after you and Haru split up and the instant regret and resentment you felt when you chose to leave home. She knew about your whole arrangement with Jungkook and from your reaction, would deduce how far things got before it all went to shit. You could be completely open with her and she would listen.

She leans back on her seat and spreads her arms wide. “So, come, come. Lay it on me!”

You looked at her, chuckling. God, you missed her. “Okay well–can we at least order first?” You say, while perusing the menu.

After your drinks and appetizers were served, you went on to narrate how your week started…and ultimately ended. You gave her vague, real-time updates throughout but haven’t been able to fill her in until after your dad’s medical emergency.

“Holy shit,” she breathed out, eyes wide.

“Now you know why I needed some time to decompress.”

She sighed. “Well…seems like you’ve gotten enough pep-talks from your family.”

You twisted your mouth wryly. “I guess,” you say, noncommittal. “Even after all that, I still feel like shit. I couldn’t really talk to them about it because…where would I even begin? And for starters, I haven’t even gathered up the courage to talk to Jungkook and apologize before he left.” Your heart turns over painfully in your chest when you confess your next words to her. “I don’t know how.”

Cristina continued to watch you, listening intently.

“I’m an idiot. I lashed out at him…called him names. I don’t know how I can face him. And–” you paused for a minute–suddenly deciding to switch gears and huffed out, “Maybe it’s better this way, you know? God, how did I think things would pan out between me…and an escort? And I’m not saying it to be judgemental but–he’s…like, perfect, in every way. And I’m…” you chuckled bitterly, “I’m just me. Everyone back home couldn’t believe that I landed him–and, in reality, I didn’t! I’m a fucking fraud, Cris!”

She let you ramble on. Go into your little episode–just to get it out of your system before she hits you with a dose of reality. “Have you forgiven Haru?”

Your little pity party comes to a halt with her question. You sighed and lifted a shoulder. “Yeah,” you say tentatively.

“And Jennie? Have you forgiven her?”

You sighed heavily. “Yes.” You wondered where she was going with this.

“Okay so–you’ve found it in your heart to forgive these people who have wronged you and now you have wronged someone; you’re consumed by guilt because of it. And yet–you’re telling me that you’re afraid to ask forgiveness…because you’re assuming they won’t forgive you?”

“I just told you that I basically dumped a year’s worth of emotional baggage on the guy. A guy who–” You sighed. “A guy who seemed like he was ready to accept me for all of my faults and imperfections. Someone who was actually being honest with me…and I just spat in his face.” You shrugged your shoulders. “Some things are just unforgivable.”

Cristina cocked her head to the side and looked at you, her gaze softening. “And you say that because…you have trouble forgiving yourself, too?”

You stared at her dumbfounded. “Sometimes it’s not that simple. I…have way too many issues…I’m emotionally unstable–”

“Right, but shouldn’t you at least try? Just like your conversation with Tae…try and let Jungkook make that call? Whether or not to forgive you?”

You sighed heavily, shaking your head. “I…I don’t know.”

“Every woman has the exact love life that she wants,” she declares suddenly.

You scrunch your face in confusion. “What?”

“Every woman has the exact love life that she wants,” she repeats. “That’s what my guy told me.”

“Your…guy?” You echoed, still confused.

“Yeah. My guy,” she cocked her eyebrow knowingly at you as she takes a sip of her drink.

When you don't connect the dots quickly enough, she presses on. “Remember my last vacation?”

“Y-yeah–” you say slowly. Cristina took a solo trip not so long ago–she was at an impasse at her job and desperately needed a break. She ended up booking a trip to Europe for two weeks. She regaled you with her shopping haul, food diaries, stories about her swimming in the Mediterranean, and her serene cobblestone street strolls.

“Are you talking about that Euro-fling that you had?” You vaguely remember her glossing over it–amongst other highlights from her trip.

“Yep. I hired him,” she says matter-of-factly.

Your eyes bulge and jaw drops at her revelation. “You said you hooked up at some club in Ibiza!”

“Weeeeell…” her voice dragged and went up an octave. “That was half-true. We did hook up at a club in Ibiza…among the many,” she puffed out her cheeks and exhaled for emphasis, sounding nostalgic, “...many things that we did on that trip.” She bit her bottom lip, wishing she could be transported back to relive those memories.

You recalled a few months ago–right as you were trying to book Jungkook on the app–she mentioned a ‘very reputable source’ who could vouch for the service’s guarantee of 100% satisfaction.

Eyes still wide, you absently picked up your glass and took a big gulp of water. This was hardly a conversation for lunch but–nothing was ever off-limits for Cristina.

“Got the tip from a senior partner–who will remain nameless. And I figured, hey, I’m spending time abroad to relax, take some time to think…but I’m also sexually frustrated so I didn’t mind paying for a hot, attractive man who was guaranteed to worship me while I was doing my soul-searching.”

“Oh my god, Cris!” You almost spit out your water.

She giggled, lifting her shoulders. “What? Don’t act like you didn’t enjoy those perks,” she grinned mischievously at you.

You looked away from her briefly and twisted your lips wryly. She cackled out loud.

When she calmed down, she continued, “Besides, the whole idea of going on vacation with someone, no strings attached…not having to deal with the awkwardness of getting into bed with them and without the exaggerated expectations after? What’s not to like?”

“I’m…kind of shocked but not surprised,” you remarked.

“And not to mention they’ve already been carefully vetted! I felt completely safe with him and had no trouble trusting him.”

You latched on to that last part of her comment. Trust. Safety.

She laughed. “It was great! I mean–not just the sex but, we had some pretty deep conversations, too. One thing he told me was that ‘every woman has the exact love life that she wants.’ And I agree with that assessment.”

You scoffed. “Cris, do you honestly believe that I want to be single and miserable?”

She looks at you point-blank. “When you’re ready to be un-single and un-miserable–to take that leap–then, yeah. You will have the love life that you want. But until then…” she trailed off.

You let out a deep breath, letting her words sink in.

“And you know what? By the end of our…arrangement, we knew where we stood since we both made our expectations clear from the beginning. I get that it’s not exactly the same as your current situation with your guy but–the fact remains–you need to be clear about where you stand. You can’t just leave things like that even if you haven’t really established any sort of relationship. As a person? You at least owe it to both of you to close this loop.”

******

On your way back from lunch with Cristina, you checked your emails on your phone. There was nothing pressing nor did you have any pending meetings scheduled for the rest of the afternoon so you tell your assistant that you’re leaving for the day.

You thought more about her advice. Before everything blew up in your face, you were intent on pursuing this relationship. And truthfully, you still wanted to–you had his phone number, you could very well call him and apologize–and mean it.

You hated how things ended after they were just starting to look promising. You couldn’t just pick up where you left off. You needed to make things right. You decided within yourself that you’d bite the bullet and just call him when you got home. You’d grovel, if you needed to.

Just then, your phone pings with an alert telling you that there is an accident a few blocks away–at the street where you usually make a turn to head home.

You curse under your breath and take the long way home instead. It wasn’t ideal but you also didn’t want to get stuck in traffic when you just wanted to get into your pajamas and curl up on your couch with that nice bottle of rose you had chilling in the fridge.

You take the next exit and stop at the next intersection. This was the reason why you don’t usually take this route–it’s because the lights here take ages to change.

You sighed, tapping your fingers impatiently at the steering wheel, mentally noting how much this neighborhood has changed.

You look right up ahead and see an ‘H’ sign for one of the local hospitals.

Another reason why you didn’t take this way coming home–because ambulances always gave you anxiety.

When the light turns green, you drive straight and approach your detour street. Another light…great. As you wait for it to change, you glance up at the hospital building on the opposite side of the street ahead.

You blink a few times, remembering something. When the cars in front of you start to move, you straighten up on your seat and grip your steering wheel hard–you’re about to pull a U-turn.

******

You sat in your car, hyperventilating in the visitor parking lot.

There really was no logical reason for you to be at this hospital. You thought about reversing the car as soon as you got to the parking lot attendant to claim a ticket–but there was another car waiting behind you so you had no choice but to proceed.

This is insane!

Of course it was. And damn your weird memory–for forgetting routine meetings and other regular run-of-the-mill errands that you had to list religiously on your phone to remind you of them.

But when it comes to random, oddball information that you’ve only glossed over once–things normal people wouldn’t think to ever deem essential in their daily life–you remember. Like, which celebrity has dated whom; who won the Academy Award for Best Actress this year; who designed Beyonce’s dress from 2014…and which hospital Jungkook worked at.

Should you have called first?

Of course you should have. That’s what normal people do. Stalkers randomly showed up at people’s jobs without their knowledge.

Too late now–you were walking through the sliding doors and up to the general information desk.

Maybe he’s not even here. He never got a chance to tell you much about his work–like what shift he worked. It was the middle of the afternoon–he could be in the middle of a procedure. You could leave a note or a message for him.

“Hello, how can I help you?” The staff greets you.

“Hi. Uhm, I’m here to see one of your doctors. Jeon. Jeon Jungkook?” You chuckled to yourself at how that all came out like a ‘Bond. James Bond’ intro.

“Oh, ok. Are they expecting you?”

“Not quite. It’s kind of a…spur-of-the-moment thing and I happened to be in the area.”

Just when the staff starts looking at you suspiciously, you quickly add, “He, uh–helped my dad with a medical emergency recently. Dr. Jeon mentioned that he worked at this hospital but I don’t know what department he’s in. I just–wanted to thank him personally.” You give her your most sincere smile.

She tilted her head, endeared. “Aw–that’s so amazing to hear! I hope your dad’s doing better?”

“He is, thank you. Uh, h-he does work here, right?”

She starts looking flustered and clears her throat. Geez. You know the feeling all too well.

“Yes, he does,” she says, punctuating every word as she checks on her computer. “I just started my shift and he typically leaves as I’m coming in so–he might have left for the day…”

Okay, so maybe you’ll just leave him a message.

“Oh–hang on…I guess he scrubbed into a procedure earlier. Looks like he’s still around for post-op. Would you like me to page him for you?”

You considered it. How would this person code this page anyway? ‘Former disgruntled client looking to make amends?’ Sure. That would go really well.

“Uhm–sure. Maybe just say that a former patient is here to see him.”

“Okay, sure,” she says, keying in your message. “Would you like to know which floor he's on?”

******

You got off the fifth floor elevators, as the receptionist directed you.

Your heart was pounding and weren’t sure if this would work. Would he turn you away? Tell you to fuck off?

You mentally cringed as multiple scenarios raced through your head. You sure deserved it, after everything you unleashed at him that night. Ambushing him at his work would not help your cause.

You wander over to the nurse’s station and find a woman in her scrubs, filling out some paperwork. As you pass her to walk to the waiting area right across, she sees you out of the corner of her eye.

“Hi, can I help you?” She had a friendly smile.

“Hi,” you greeted her back. “I was hoping to talk to one of your staff. I think they paged him downstairs and I was told that I could wait here”

“Oh,” she says. “Are you family or—“

“N-no. He, uh, saved my dad’s life and I just wanted to say thank-you.”

She smiled warmly at you. “How long ago was he paged? I could send him a text so he could get here sooner?”

“There’s no rush, really,” you say to her. “I’m showing up unannounced and he could be in the middle of something.”

Her eyebrows knitted slightly. “Can you tell me again who you’re here to see?”

You cleared your throat. “I’m here to see Dr. Jeon.”

“And–your dad was a patient of his?” She asks slowly.

“N-not quite. We were at a wedding and–he happened to be the only doctor in the room,” you explained.

“A wedding, you said?”

This woman seemed to be awfully curious. You nodded apprehensively. “Yes,” you say slowly.

Suddenly, her eyes light up. “Hold on a minute–I’ll page him again for you,” she says with a slight smile.

“Thank you.”

******

Jungkook

“Hey, Mr. Pyun. How are you feeling?”

“Ah–Dr. Jeon! I feel good as new,” his patient croaks out. He was just transported back to his room after being in recovery for an hour for close monitoring, post-op. “I can’t wait to take my wife dancing after this.

“Aish, let’s not rush things, yeobo,” his wife says.

“I asked her to play some music. My grandson showed me how to use this bluetooth speaker box thing,” he chuckled.

“Good to know the pain medication is working,” Jungkook’s attending remarks.

Jungkook chuckles as he checks on his patient’s vitals while his attending continues to discuss what to expect in the next few hours as her husband recovers.

Call me irresponsible, his patient began to sing along to the track while heavily medicated.

Jungkook pauses his checks as memories flood him. The dancing. The touches. The eye contact.

Don’t go there. Do not go there. You need to forget about her, he thought to himself.

He tried to bury Mayumi’s words but they still kept ringing in his head like the heart monitor pulsing right next to him.

“Yeobo, remember when we danced to this at our wedding?” his patient slurred as his wife gives him a warm smile.

Jungkook’s pager beeps just as he writes down his patient’s last blood pressure reading, effectively pulling him out of his reverie. He reaches around his hip to retrieve it. It was from Mayumi, asking to meet by the nurse’s station.

“Dr. Ahn, could I be excused? Dr. Sakai needs me for a consult.”

“Of course. Nice work today, Dr. Jeon.”

“Thank you, Dr. Ahn.” Jungkook bows to his attending before he leaves the room.

He marches down the hall and towards the nurse’s station. He sees Mayumi standing off to the side, having a conversation with someone whose back was turned at him.

Her eyes flick up at him when she sees him approach.

“Hey, Yumi, what do you—“

The woman she was talking to sees Mayumi look over her shoulder, prompting her to turn around. His eyes widen–like a deer in headlights.

“Hi. Can we talk?”

******

You both sat on opposite sides at the empty waiting area. He was slightly apprehensive at first since neither of you had contact in a few days. Much to your relief, he acquiesced.

“How did you find me?”

“I just remembered–from when you showed me your work badge before. I also happened to get rerouted to this neighborhood because there were some road closures on my usual way home,” you explained.

He nods in silence.

You straightened out, exhaling sharply. “Look, I don’t want to waste your time since you’re probably really busy, and I’m sorry to drop in like this without warning.”

“You could have called,” he interrupts.

You purse your lips and nod. “I could have. But–truthfully, I didn’t think you’d want to hear from me again after…you know, everything.” Nervously, you glanced down at the floor, unable to look him in the eye, trying to forget about all of the awful things you said to him.

You took a beat to compose yourself before looking back up at him. “I’m here because, firstly, I wanted to thank you again for helping my dad. He’s doing much better–as if nothing happened.“ You tried to sound lighthearted about it.

“I’m glad to hear that,” he says softly.

You gave him a small, uncomfortable smile before continuing. “So…a-after you left the hotel, Jennie came to me to clear the air. She explained that you had nothing to do with…the whole situation.”

“I could have told you that,” he says curtly.

You swallowed the lump in your throat. “I realize that.”

“You can project, you can vent–that’s part of what I do. That’s why I was there for you. But to accuse me? That…seems unfair.”

“I know, and I –I really fucked that up. I was emotional and…” you paused and sighed heavily, “…there’s just no excuse for it. I wasn’t thinking straight.”

He nodded and remained silent, prompting you to continue.

“I wanted to apologize to you, in person. I didn’t think it would come off clearly through text or over the phone. And I know that I can’t take back what I said and I won’t make any excuses for it. My anger was sorely misplaced and I should not have taken it out on you…” You swallowed hard. “...But I did. And I realized that you were put in a really tough position. It was wrong of me to fault you for it without hearing you out. For all of that, I’m sorry, Jungkook,” you finished.

He regarded you intently, letting your words sink in. After a long pause, his face softens and he finally says, “Thank you. I appreciate the apology…and, I’m sorry, too. For the things I said. It was a shitty situation all around.”

You nodded, acknowledging it–although, you weren’t sure if he even needed to apologize since at the time, he was only giving you a reality check.

Feeling completely awkward yet somehow relieved, you took it as your queue to leave. You gripped your purse and stood up from your seat. He gets up as well. “That was all and…thank you for hearing me out.”

You’ve said your piece and can finally start to move on from this. You wanted to say more–all thoughts that Jimin, Taehyung, and Cristina have been drilling into your head...and the money that he left behind.

A few days ago, you thought this relationship held promise but judging by the look on his face, you thought it wasn’t the right time to push that topic. You waited too long and now that window has closed.

“Anyway, I’m–sorry to keep you from work.” You held your hand out to him for a handshake. Odd to be all formal this time around considering everything that you shared…everything that you did together. But you weren’t in that bubble anymore. You were back in the real world.

Thinking he would leave you hanging, you thought of withdrawing your hand but to your surprise, he places his hand in yours, thumb lightly brushing over your skin. The simple touch shot through you like a surge of electricity. Your pulse shot up when his grip tightened.

You maintained eye contact, as if playing a game of ‘chicken.’ Which of you would let go first? He swallowed audibly while you cleared your throat. You decided it was going to be you.

You withdrew from his hold. “I should get going,” you whispered.

“Right.” He kept his eyes on you but his facial expression was unreadable.

Keeping a firm grip on your purse’s strap, you said goodbye to him–for the last time. “Bye,” you breathed out before turning away from him to walk back towards the elevators. You dared not to look back–afraid of what else you might say or do.

When you reached the end of the hallway, you pressed the ‘down’ button. The elevator dings and the doors open. But right before you step in, you hear your name called out.

“YN, wait!”

You turned around to see Jungkook jogging back to reach you. “I’ve got a break coming up…if you still want to talk?”

******

You settled into one of the booths at the hospital cafeteria. It was an odd time so there weren’t many people lingering, save for a couple of hospital staff and random people who wore ‘visitor’ stickers on their clothing.

You noted how completely different he looked in this setting. He was out of his suit, he took his lip piercing out and wore a long-sleeve henley underneath his scrubs, presumably not to distract patients with his ornate tattoos. His hair was brushed back–not with product as you were used to seeing but you figured it stuck to his head like that because of his scrub cap.

“Were you coming from work?” He asks after glancing at your tailored pants and more formal-looking top. He looked relaxed but somewhat tired, leaning against the wall on the side, his legs stretched out on the seat.

“Sort of. I was at the office then met my friend for a late lunch. Afterwards, I didn’t have any other appointments so I decided to call it a day.” You sat hunched over with your elbows resting on the table, wishing you could be as chill as he was.

“The good ol’ corporate world,” he says, tilting his head backwards with a sigh.

“Yeah. Were you coming off a procedure?”

He nodded. “Yeah. It was a little complicated but my patient pulled through. He’s recovering well.”

And you both fall silent again.

“How’s Taehyung?”

Your eyebrows lifted. “Uhm–he’s okay, I think? He still feels a little weird about everything.”

“You think they’re going to work it out?”

You lifted a shoulder while you drew random patterns on the table with your finger. “They might, I don’t know. I…hope they do. But–that’s not really up to me. Tae feels guilty and he’s afraid of how I would react. I’ve told him that he doesn’t need to worry about me. I know that he still loves her and…I know that she does, too.”

“Maybe he doesn’t want to hurt you,” he guesses.

“He hasn’t done anything to hurt me,” you say quietly, still tracing your little patterns. “And even if he decides that he wants to get back with Jennie again–I would never stand in the way of that…they were meant to be,” you said with a sigh, finally looking up at him to find him staring at you.

After a beat, you ask him, “Why didn’t you take the money?”

He chuckled softly. “How many times do I have to tell you–that it’s–”

“Not about the money, I know,” you interjected. “But why?”

He exhales sharply. “Remember my funeral client?”

You nodded, remembering one of your quiet conversations by the beach.

“I stepped back from this business not just because of pressures from this job–although that was a major contributing factor. I was also losing grip on what reality I wanted for myself. I spent several years living this double-life and,” he sighed, “It was exhausting. I didn’t want to do that anymore. So I decided to just focus on this,” he gestured at his surroundings.

“At some point, I was feeling a little burnt out, too. So my friend, Mayumi–she was the one in the scrubs by the nurse’s station–she pushed me to do one final booking. Not just as a change of pace but, so I could figure out what I really wanted.”

You were shocked to find out that at least one person was privy to his secret life. Maybe the double-life was taking its toll and she was the only one who noticed.

“Then I met you–figured I’d get back into it easily–kind of like riding a bike. I’d play another role even though I’d already given you my real name. But on the plane, I thought about it and figured I’d give honesty a try.”

He rubbed the back of his neck and stretched it. “I thought that maybe…the real me would be just as good, as opposed to somebody you just made up.”

You stopped your absentminded fidgeting and gave him your full attention. When you first met, he couldn’t be more perfect–as if you had picked him out of a catalog, just as Taehyung said.

“Maybe I should have just stuck to my day job,” he says dejectedly, swinging his legs off the bench, leaning over the table to mirror you. It was a relatively small table so your faces were only a couple inches away from each other.

“I can’t help thinking that we went about this the wrong way,” you say to him.

He regarded you in curiosity. “What do you mean?”

“I mean–we both started this whole thing off with a lie. You said you wanted to give honesty a try?”

He furrowed his brows. “Yes–and?”

You held your hand out to him again. “Hi, I’m YLN YN.”

He chuckled softly, shaking his head before he clasped your hand. “Jeon Jungkook.”

“Nice to meet you,” you say softly.

“Lovely to meet you, too,” he says with a smile.

“So, I know we just met, but I wondered if you’d like to go to dinner sometime?”

He squinted at you. “Hmm–dinner, huh? A bit presumptuous are we?”

“How ‘bout coffee, then?” you proposed.

He playfully twisted his lips to the side. “You invite someone for coffee after you’ve spent the night with them.” He cocked an eyebrow at you.

You scoffed but still kept your good nature. You then deferred to him. “Okay. What would you suggest?” You were aware that your hands were still linked together.

“You’re asking me? I thought you were the one here trying to make amends,” he says, lowering his voice.

“Right, I am.” You pucker your lips, thinking of how else to straighten things out.

“How ‘bout lunch?” He suggests. “It’s in the middle of the day, a fairly neutral setting. It’s not as formal and there aren’t any expectations around it. In the end, we can just continue going about our day.”

You nod in agreement. “Okay. Lunch sounds good. When?” You ask him tentatively. You’re not sure if he’ll bite but thought you’d shoot your shot anyway.

He finally releases your hand. “Hm…I’ll have to think it through. As you know, my job’s a little bit demanding.” You detected a hint of teasing in his tone but didn’t want to read too much into it. You shouldn’t be disappointed that it wasn’t an immediate ‘yes.’ You still had to work for it.

Just then, his pager goes off. Guess his break was over.

You clicked your teeth. “Okay, well–let me know when you’ve thought it through.”

With a nod, he walks you to the nearest elevator before you part ways.

******

A couple days turn into a week. You didn’t want to seem too eager–like you were waiting by the phone but…let’s face it, you were waiting for his call.

Every text, every call that would come in–you hoped that it was Jungkook…but it wasn’t. You started rubbing circles on your temples–a stress headache was brewing. You had to chill out, try not to think about it too much. Maybe if you forget about it, it might happen eventually. You shouldn’t be rushing the process anyway.

Or maybe he changed his mind and was just fucking with you. You did call him a liar.

“Do you want to keep your team check-in for the tourism campaign?”

You glanced up at your assistant, Reena, who peeked her head in through your office.

“Uh–yeah. That’s at 1:30 today, right?”

“Yes,” she replies.

“Sounds good. Can you book the huddle room for me? I only want to meet with key staff, not the whole team.”

She nodded. “Will do.”

“Thank you, Reena,” you call out to her before she walks out.

Your phone rings and you pick it up–it was Cristina.

“Hey,” you greeted her. “Any word yet?” Cristina gets straight to the point.

You groaned. “No. I’m starting to think that he didn’t actually want to have lunch to begin with.”

“Well…you tried, babe, that’s the point. You took a chance.”

You nod absentmindedly. “Yeah, I guess. And I–” you paused as your other line began to ring. You pulled the phone away from your ear to see who it was.

Your eyes widen at the caller ID.

“I have to go, sorry,” you say in a hurry, vaguely hearing her squawking on the other line before you hang up on her.

“Hello?”

“Hey,” Jungkook greets you on the other line.

“Hi,” you say in a slightly higher vocal register. You cleared your throat, trying to calm yourself down.

“Sorry it took me a while to get back to you. Work’s been nuts,” he says apologetically.

“Oh–no need to apologize. I kind of figured you were busy. And I, uhm, didn’t want to bother you either.”

You hear him chuckle softly on the other line. He sounds like he’s enjoying this–but you keep reminding yourself that you have no right to complain. “Anyway, I happened to have a free afternoon. I wondered if you wanted to meet up and grab lunch soon-ish?”

You checked your watch for the time. If you played your cards right, you could head out for lunch for an hour then get back right in time for your meeting.

“But I completely understand if you have plans. We can always reschedule,” he says casually.

“I’m free now. Do you want to meet somewhere?”

******

You practically jump out of your rideshare but compose yourself once you step onto the curb to walk into the restaurant that Jungkook picked. You check in with the hostess by the entrance but spot him waving at you. He was out of his scrubs and in casual, street clothes.

“Hi,” you both say awkwardly at each other then try to figure out whether to shake hands or hug.

He finally decides for both of you and gives you a hug. You inhaled and got a whiff of his cologne. Before all of those memories come rushing back to you, he pulls away.

“How are you?”

“I’m good.”

“Have you been here before?”

“I haven’t but a few coworkers have. They’ve raved about it,” you smiled. “Have you?”

“Yeah. If you want, I can tell you what’s good and what’s not,” he laughs.

“Oh. I’m guessing you come here often?” This place looked a bit fancy for a casual lunch. You wondered if maybe he brought a few dates here.

“I have,” he affirms. You tried to hide your discomfort but were failing spectacularly.

“We don’t need to tiptoe around. It’s just you and me here–having lunch.”

You exhaled and relaxed your shoulders. You didn’t need to overthink this. He purposely picked lunch because it was supposed to be a neutral setting.

“Yeah, you’re right,” you say with confidence.

He smiled at you and proceeded to point out all the good stuff on the menu. You talked about how your days were, how work was, mostly mundane things…as if you hadn’t touched on topics much deeper than those.

But being mundane made it easier for you to get through lunch. You wanted to rebuild that connection and work up to it. You wouldn’t set any expectations. A clean slate was all you could hope for.

******

“Isn’t this nice? Just…getting to talk?”

“Yeah, it was. I’m really glad that you called,” you smiled at him.

Your phone buzzes with a reminder, prompting you to check your watch for the time, it was a little after 1PM. You had a team meeting coming up soon–one that you were supposed to lead but hadn’t even had time to prepare for.

“Do you need to head out?”

“Yeah, I have a meeting at 1:30 back at the office,” you say apologetically.

“Did you drive here?”

“No, I left my car and took a rideshare. I didn’t want to deal with parking,” you explained, while pulling up the app on your phone to book a ride back to work.

“I can drive you back.”

You chuckled nervously. “Oh…I don’t want to impose–”

“You’re not. I’m offering. Besides, I’m off for the rest of the day. I’ve been on-call since yesterday. My boss finally decided to give me a break.” He rubbed his eyes and stretched the kink in his neck.

Your eyebrows lifted. “Uhm, okay. As long as you don’t mind.”

“Not at all.” He raises his arm to flag down your server to request for the check.

As soon as they delivered it to your table, you began to bicker over who was going to pay. You had your card out but he kept swatting your hand away. You offered to split the bill as a compromise but when the server returned to your table, he practically shoves his card at them, effectively ending the argument.

******

You directed him as he drove, telling him which cross streets your office was located at while he navigated right through traffic.

The ride was relatively quiet but nice. You stole glances at him every time he asked whether he was making the right turn or on the correct route.

“This is me,” you tell him, pointing to your office building and he proceeds to pull into the curb.

He bends his neck slightly to view the structure from below his windshield. “Fancy building,” he remarks.

You chuckled softly. “Yeah, it’s alright,” you say, eyes drifting down to your hands. You turned your attention to him again after a few seconds. “Thanks for getting lunch.”

“Sure. Maybe next time, you can get it.” He says.

“Next time?” Your eyebrows lifted.

He chuckled enigmatically at your question but he didn't answer it. “It was good seeing you again,” he says with a warm smile instead.

Your heart clenches and you give him a small smile in return. “It was good seeing you, too.” You cleared your throat. “And–thank you for the ride.”

“You’re welcome,” he replies.

You put your hand on the door latch, preparing to leave, but he stops you. “Hey.” You turn to him again. “Yeah?”

“I had fun this afternoon,” he admits. “Yeah, I did too,” you confessed.

He nodded, and you stared at each other–his car still idling at the curb.

“I should…go,” you finally tell him.

“Right,” he says, clearing his throat. After a beat, he says, “We should do this again soon.”

“Yeah, I’d like that.” You reply softly.

“I’ll call you.”

You nodded. “You know how to reach me.” With that, you exit his car and walk towards your office building. You looked back to see him still watching you through the rolled down passenger-side window. Before you walk through the doors, you give him a small wave and he does the same. Afterwards, he rolls the window up while his car pulls out of the curb and blends in right into traffic.

******

Right before you head out of the office, you see a bunch of colleagues gathering by the reception area, no doubt heading to happy hour.

“Hey, YN! Want to come with us? We’re checking out that new barbecue place that opened a couple blocks away,” a coworker says.

“Thanks for the invite but, I’m pretty beat. I’d be happy to check it out next time, though. What’s it called?” You ask.

“Oh, I can send you the link to the online menu,” they suggested instead, pulling their phone out to text you the link.

Your phone pings when their message comes through. “Perfect. Thanks! Have fun, guys,” you call over your shoulder before stepping into the elevators.

You scrolled through the menu while the cab descended and found a few items that looked good. When you step out into the underground parking lot, you think of something.

You clicked to text the link and forwarded it to Jungkook then followed it up with a message:

[You] (5:38PM): What do you think? They’re open for lunch? 😊

You closed out of the messaging app and made your way to your car. Once you insert the key into the ignition, your phone buzzes. You fish your phone out of your purse to see a response from Jungkook.

[From Jungkook] (5:42PM): Nice, but I like the dinner selections better. What do you say?

That gave you pause as you flashed back to your previous conversation.

[You] (5:43PM): I thought you said dinner was “presumptuous?”

His response comes in a few seconds later.

[From Jungkook] (5:43PM): It’s only presumptuous if you expect us to have coffee the next day. 😏

You laughed at his cheeky response. Touché.

After today, you realized that you’d rather try than give up…because you found somebody who was worth it.

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