#I know its my own fault. I isolate myself from friends and i have no one irl outside my mom who cares to visit me

[mrfoox]

.... I feel bad bc my friend is sad ) :

#miranda talking shit #I feel a bit guilty too... I think thabks to my meds i am taking this better than normal but yeah #Fabian and me have only like spoken twice over the past month or two? Which is not much #Considering we have basically talked almost daily for years (a minimum at once per week) ... #The irony is that he implied that he was too big of an part of my life before we had this ... Break #... But as far as i know the few friends he have... Are the ones we have in common. Two irl friends . And me #Hes .... Been feeling lonely. He is now. He wants to talk to people etc and im like ): ... #I... Like oliver said 'i think fabian takes solitude a lot harder than you do. He does mind being alone' and yeah... #I think i may have unintentionally made him rely on me rather hard for socializing... For years hes basically only been in my social 'hot' #Zone. And now he have ended up in my 'cold' zone for the first time for this long... Like oliver said i dont mind solitude. #I grew up playing pretend on my own 80% of my time at home. Now i can get in isolation periods where im focusing on a video game #And literally not... Talk to anyone for a month or more. Then i talk to someone again and i realize i had been lacking social time but i #Dont actively... Feel it. I only get lonely at night badly id like to share bed with someone. But ... Yeah. Fabian is probably used to #Getting all this attention from me constantly and now im... Not providing it. Bc im focusing on other people socially... #I said im glad he shared feeling lonely with me and that i am here for him etc but... #I feel like ive failed him. Is failing him. Idk... I know its not my fault and so on but... My social... Functions have many downsides #I probably make people feel very special. I love to listen and ask about everything and encourage them and such. But then i can just stop #Talking for a long period of time and its .... Its never intentional but its how ive always been. Its why ive always kept to having like 3 #Friends up until becoming an adult and now jts... Its hard. I love many people and i want to give them as much of me as possible at a time #So instead of dividing myself to everyone always... I give one or two people all my attention at a time

[pupkashi]

volvi a nacer

gojo feels life start anew now that you’re by his side

a/n: hi hi friends ! this is heavily inspired by this song !! i think it’s so sweet and yeah <3 (unrelated but my bf sent me it i was geeking out for a week ok) ALSO GIGI (@4sat0ruu) I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS SO MUCH MY FELLOW LATINA 🙏🙏🙏; slightly latinx coded reader bc i can !

wordcount - 2,737

masterlist

translations: mi amor // my love, hermoso(a) // beautiful, mi corazon // my heart, cariño // sweetheart

there was time in gojo satoru’s life that he felt his life had essentially ended. he felt isolated, like no one would ever fill the void he felt in his chest.

he didn’t think he had anyone to lean on when he needed it, opting for a façade of cockiness and jokes when anyone asked if he was alright.

you saw through it all. with a concerned frown on your face as you wrapped your arms around him, holding him as tightly as you could and squeezing him.

“i don’t need your hugs, y/n,” he scoffed, hoping you didn’t hear the wobble in his voice, “I’m the strongest, i can take on anything by myself.”

“I’m sure you can, but you don’t have to,” you whispered, not letting go for a second. you heard the tremble in his breath, the hitch in his throat when he heard your next words, “I’m right here, you’ll be okay.”

for a split second satoru saw the world for all its warmth and love rather than its faults and challenges. he felt the love and support he’d only ever imagined, the suns warm rays hitting his skin as you held him tightly.

it faded as you pulled away, and he could hear nobara and yuji yelling in the distance, toge and yuta laughing at something.

“I’ll be here if you need me, okay?” you reassure him, your hand lingers on his shoulder for a bit before you walk away.

you’re only two steps away when you feel satoru gently grab your wrist, letting go not even a second after he did. when you turn to face him he looks shocked, as if he didn’t have control of his own body for a second.

“uh- can-” he stumbles over his words, not knowing exactly what to say and not exactly having the courage to say whatever they were.

“yeah, i can,” you smile softly, taking his hand in yours, “how about we get some food, when’s the last time you had actual food and not take out or sweets?” you question.

satoru rolls his eyes, scoffing before counting the days on his fingers, “it hasn’t been that long,” he mumbles, smiling a bit when you shake your head and laugh at him.

it’s been three years since then, somewhere along the way the line of caring friend and something more had been crossed, pinkies interlinking during movie night, a stolen kiss in a maintenance closet when hiding from an upset yaga.

he’s not exactly sure what’s making him reminisce on that day. maybe he’s recalling the way the sunshine felt on his skin, the way it does now as it pours in through the blinds, landing on his bare chest.

“you didn’t snore this time” you mumble, voice a bit hoarse as you wake up.

satoru grins, “I told you I’d stop,” you can’t help but half laugh, cuddling up to him more, “I’d do anything you ask of me sweets.”

“it’s 9 in the morning and you’re already professing your undying love?” you tease, just barely opening your eyes to look at your lover, who’s already staring right back at you, soft smile adorning his beautiful face.

“would do it all hours of the day if you’d let me,” he replies, not missing a beat. you can only chuckle softly, letting your head rest on his chest. your hair tickles him a bit but he ignores it, focusing on the way your index fingers draws random patterns on his abdomen.

satoru lets his mind wander, he thinks how lucky he is.

how lucky he was to be given a second chance at life, to be able to come back from a place so dark, to now be able to quite literally be bathed in sunlight and tender touches.

“where’d you go?” you whisper, adjusting yourself on your side and letting your arm prop you up. satoru is reeled back in, snowy lashes kissing his cheeks gently as he lays on his side to face you.

“thinking ‘bout how lucky i am,” he mumbles, staring at you for a second before a soft smile overtakes his lips, “I love you.” the words never fail to make you smile, you never miss a beat to respond, “i love you more, angel boy.”

“there isn’t anything i wouldn’t do for you, you know that right?” he’s focusing on the fuzz of the blanket rather than your eyes, looking up only when you hum in response.

“what if you have to fight off the most talented swordsman in the world for me?” you tease, he’s smiling at you as he sits up.

“then I’ll get a sword and do what i have to do to not lose you,” he answers like it’s the most simple thing in the world, “I’ve fought off worse haven’t i?” his cockiness makes you roll your eyes and chuckle, sitting up and kissing his cheek before stretching and finally getting out of bed.

“i guess so, you’re too strong for any of my hypotheticals,” you mumble, the taller man following you into the restroom, brushing your teeth together before heading into the living room.

“what do you want for breakfast?” satoru asks, his hands are already reaching for the ingredients for an omelette, recalling how you’d been craving one since last night but fell asleep as soon as you’d gotten home.

“what’s on the menu today, chef gojo?” you smile, moving from the couch to the kitchen bar, watching as he took out four eggs and various veggies and meats.

“how ‘bout that omelette you were dreaming of yesterday, sweetheart?” he’s grinning as he cracked an egg open with one hand over the bowl, a trick you’d taught him that took him the course of two cartons of eggs.

“you’re too perfect mi amor,” the words make his ears turn bright red, face flushed as he continues his fluid movements in the kitchen.

three years ago had someone told you the satoru gojo could make omelettes and crack eggs with one hand you would’ve laughed in their face, betting your life savings and then some against the snowy haired sorcerer.

yet here you are; three years, lots of broken eggs, burnt food and nights in the restroom later- you watch the love of your life make you an omelette.

the two of you eat breakfast over small talk, telling him of your plans for the day.

“I’ve gotta run some errands today, i hope traffic isn’t too bad” you trail off, mentally checking all the things you had to do.

“i can drive if you want,” he shrugs, chugging down the last bit of orange juice in his cup before grabbing your plate and placing them in the sink. “i don’t have anything else going on.”

you smile at your lover, “you don’t have to drive me around everywhere, you know that right?” satoru knew your distaste for being behind the wheel, he only saw it as an opportunity to pamper you and treat you like the royalty you were.

“i know, but i love driving you everywhere,” he grins, walking next to where you were seated and bending over to kiss your temple, “I’ll be your loyal chauffeur for as long as you’ll have me, hermosa.” the word is foreign on his tongue, it slips past his lips naturally, just the way you’d been teaching him common phrases.

“hermosa? who’d you learn that one from?” fighting the smile off your face was a predestined loss, barely hiding how over the moon you were at the new pet name. your words are teasing as you stand from the kitchen bar, stopping right in front of your lover, looking up at him.

“duolingo was hitting on me, actually,” satoru replies, a dimpled smile on his face when your arms snake around his neck, pulling him downwards so his lips met yours.

“can duo fight?” you laugh between kisses, pressing a softer kiss to the tip of his nose before detaching yourself from him.

satoru is ready before you, sitting on the edge of the bed and watching- no admiring, your every move as you get ready. his mind is filled with a whirlwind of compliments he can’t seem to get out, overcome with an overwhelming sense of love for you.

you’re an aura of warmth, kindness and love, and angel sent for him. a caring soul, who nurtured him back to health; through late night calls that ended with you in his apartment or vice versa, gentle reminders and tight hugs helping him through his toughest nights. through forced outings to fairs and arcades, despite his protests that he has been doing things other than working with his students and going on missions (he hadn’t).

it had taken time, but satoru had healed.

your love had healed him.

“oh i can’t do movie night Friday” you frowned, watching as the second and first years trained.

“oh? why’s that” satoru was caught off guard, you’d never been one to cancel on him.

“i- uh- I’ve got a date, actually” you chuckle, staring at your finger nails before looking at the man next to you.

“a date?” he repeated, heart sinking and stomach falling as you nodded with a smile.

“nanami set me up with them, didn’t know he actually had friends besides us,” you smiled, trying your best to ease the palpable tension.

you’d gotten up and left shortly after that, some lame excuse he can’t remember now. he did remember angrily walking into nanami’s office, accusing him of hating satoru and wanting to see him suffer.

“have you thought of- i don’t know, maybe telling y/n how you feel?” kento sighs, trying his best to focus on the report he was filling out before satoru had barged in.

satoru hadn’t thought of that, but he took his friends advice and marched up to you three hours later, confessing his feelings upfront.

“don’t go on that date, they don’t deserve you,” he began, immediately taking you back, “and maybe i don’t either but just give me one chance and i swear you won’t regret it.”

“what’s up with you today? maybe you shouldn’t drive” your words pull him out of his memory, blinking once, then twice before fully coming back to his senses.

“do you remember when you told me you had that date?” he asks, watching as you furrows your brows, the corners of your lips turning upwards as you recall the memory.

“oh yeah! then you confessed like an hour later” satoru nods, blushing a bit. “what about it?” you ask, moving to sit next to him, taking his larger hand in yours, tracing soothing circles into his skin with your thumb.

“i didn’t even know i liked you then,” he admits, “i just felt this terrible feeling in my stomach and yelled at nanami for wanting to ruin my life.” the revelation makes you smile a bit, “he told me to tell you that i liked you and only then did it dawn upon me that i had romantic feelings for you.” satoru laughs at himself now, looking at you with sparkling blue eyes.

“well, you were- and still are a bit of a dummy” you mumble, pulling his arm so satoru can lean against you, letting you rest your head atop his. “my silly angel boy.”

angel boy.

the first time he heard you say that he quite literally stopped in his tracks, smiling from ear to ear before picking you up and spinning you around. ‘say it again!’ he kept asking, blushing just as hard every time the pet name left your mouth.

satoru loves grocery shopping with you, checking off things as you put them in the cart. he thinks you look angelic against the backdrop of produce, heart fluttering as you look for the best bunch of cilantro.

he could do this for the rest of his life, he thinks to himself. the realization makes him bump against the display, thankful nothing fell over.

satoru gojo wants to marry you.

he wants nothing more in his life than to be with you for as long as he could. he wants to spend his mornings and nights besides you, he wants to make you breakfast and help you cook dinner, he wants to wash the dishes because you hate washing them, he wants to wake up to Cumbia and bachata on Sunday mornings as you clean, joining you and singing in broken Spanish as you serenade him with a broom.

it’s not as romantic as he’d once imagined, he thought the realization would come to him as the wind blew through your hair, or the golden rays of the sun kissed your cheeks.

instead he’s watching you pick out a two pack of steak, looking at him with a wide smile, “the prices dropped!” you grin, giddy as you happily put the meat into the cart, practically skipping down the line of raw meats.

he can hear his heartbeat in his ears as he wonder what to do next, mindlessly following you around the grocery store with the cart, every aisle affirming the fact that you’re the only one for him, especially as you tell him to get one sweet treat for the week as you go and get the milk.

he’s staring lovingly at you as you wait in line at the register, watching with interest as your eyes light up, “cariño can you get the eggs? i completely forgot,” he nods immediately, placing a chaste kiss to your cheek before turning on his heel and heading towards the eggs.

satoru lets the thought of marriage ruminate in his mind, recalling the times you’d talked about marriage, agreeing that you’d want to marry him. what if you’d changed your mind since then?

later that week as satoru is passing you the salt, he asks you the question that’s been eating at his mind. “do you still wanna get married?”

you chalk it up to his usual insecurities, turning around and kissing the tip of his nose and both his dimples. “‘course i do, angel boy” you reply, not missing a beat, “why? everything okay?”

satoru nods, eyes fluttering shut when your lips are pressing against his. “everything’s perfect,” he mumbles against you, smiling and chasing your lips for one more kiss before he passes you the butter.

one month later satoru is under the shade the cherry blossom trees give him, with you staring down at him, mouth still agape from seeing him get down on one knee.

“mi corazon, I’ve loved you more than i thought possible, you’ve breathed life into me when i thought there was no reason to keep living, you bring out the best in me everyday,” he begins, hands shaking slightly as you stare back at him, tears welling in your eyes.

“i want to be by your side for the rest of my life, i want to find you in every crowd, save you a seat next to mine and end my days with you in my arms,” satoru tried to ignore the thumping of his heart in his ears, “i want to be the only one lucky enough to be loved by you, will you marry me?”

you’re nodding quickly, mouth still covered before you’re throwing your arms around the snowy haired man- your now fiancé. “of course, yes!” you laugh, sniffling and wiping the tears that had fallen as you squeeze him tightly. “i love you cariño, i love you so so much” you grin, pressing your lips harshly against his, not caring when your teeth bump against his as you both smile, the spring wind causing pink petals to fall around the two of you.

there was a time in gojo’s life when he thought his life was over. he looks back and smiles, how was he supposed to know the best part of his life was only starting?

the void he once felt in his chest was now overflowing with the love and patience you poured into him; sickeningly sweet pet names and tender touches to ease his mind.

satoru can’t help but smile when he wakes up next to you everyday, grateful beyond belief he decided to be vulnerable that day in the courtyard.

“already staring at me lovingly?” you teased, making satoru grin, dimples on his cheeks as he hummed.

“something like that.”

#I’ve had this in the drafts for a while #not proofread just wanted to post it :P #i hope u guys enjoy it <3 #gojo satoru #gojo satoru x reader #gojo satoru fluff #gojo satoru drabble #gojo satoru imagine #gojo x reader #gojo x you #gojou satoru x reader #gojo satoru x you #gojo satoru x y/n #gojo satoru x reader fluff #gojo satoru x Latinx!reader #latinx!reader #Hispanic!reader #satoru gojo x reader #satoru gojo fluff #satoru gojo imagine #satoru gojo drabble #jjk fluff #jjk x reader #jujutsu kaisen fluff #jujutsu kaisen x reader #jjk gojo x reader #jujutsu kaisen gojo #satoru gojo x you #satoru gojo x reader fluff

[flight0fthenavigat0r]

A Goodbye to The Bad Batch

I don’t even know what to say first. Because this is goodbye, but it is also everything but. But I suppose I should start at the beginning.

Just a couple of years ago I found my love for Star Wars. My entire life, as far back as I can remember, my dad has tried to get me into the fandom. Now, he’s not a fan the exact same way some of us are, he’d only watched the saga and the Mandalorian, funnily enough I was the one to introduce him to The Clone Wars and beyond, but it’s been a joy in his life for a very long time. I was never interested in it when I was little, but then I got a little older and Star Wars started to capture my interest.

One random weekend, I believe in 2021 or 2022, I decided that I was going to watch all nine saga movies in those forty-eight hours, and then start on my goal to watch every show and the additional movies.

This is, without a shred of doubt, one of the greatest decisions I have ever made, and one that I will never regret. I would not be the person I am had I not given Star Wars a chance.

It would sound ridiculous to anyone anywhere else, but this has become such a safe place for me that I know I can be honest.

Everyone finds that one thing that makes them happy like nothing else. A person, a hobby, a place, a fandom. Mine is the galaxy far, far away that lets me escape from my life whenever I need to.

The Star Wars fandom has its faults, and there is so much hatred.

But more than anything, there is love like no love I have ever experienced before. The love between fans and our love for these movies and shows is something I never expected to have in my life. But somehow, for some reason, it has all found a permanent place in my heart, and I couldn’t be happier.

At this time, the first season of The Bad Batch had just been released. I was branching out, watching The Clone Wars and then jumping to The Book of Boba Fett, though I’m not sure why I chose to watch everything in such a completely random order.

But then I started The Bad Batch.

I had no idea what Crosshair, Tech, Wrecker, Hunter, Echo, and Omega would come to mean to me.

I have dealt with a lot in the last few years. Nothing compared to others, but depression finds a way to wedge into your life. I love to be alone, but I don’t like to be lonely, and I have managed to isolate myself to a point of misery.

I found more comfort in The Bad Batch than anything else in my life, and I will never forget the joy The Bad Batch brought me in these last few years.

I began to write when I found Star Wars, and I was inspired to do so by The Bad Batch. Before, I had never felt so compelled by any one piece of media to add my own part of it to the world, until this. Writing has become another escape, one that gives me an outlet to continue the stories of characters left behind.

What I already knew has been reaffirmed, the lessons I have learned remain with me, and will even after this is over.

That it’s okay to feel afraid, because everyone does, and to make mistakes, provided you learn from them.

That feeling out of place for one reason or another does not make you unworthy of love, and having limitations with affection isn’t something you need to apologize for.

That being goofy, having fun, finding joy in the dark places, is just as vital a part of life as anything else, if not what we need more than anything.

That taking time for yourself, to make sure you don’t fall apart, even while taking care of others, is important.

That our worst moments can be one of two things, what consumes us, or what we grow from.

That being a young woman is not a detriment to your worth, intelligence, talent, or any other aspect of life, but is in fact what makes you strongest.

That what makes us unique and our faults are a part of who we are, but they do not define us, and we are so much more than the ideas people have of us.

My only regret is not making friends when I had the chance. I’m bad at that, opening up and putting myself out there, and I shy away from talking to new people because it makes me uncomfortable. But I wish I had been able to put that aside before it was too late and found people who love The Bad Batch the way I do to continue talking to, even after the show ends.

But to all the people who have supported me and who I have supported, thank you for being part of my Bad Batch experience.

It's very difficult to believe that this is it.

Though The Bad Batch has not been around long, it feels like it has, because as long as I have been watching Star Wars, The Bad Batch has been in its active run, and I’m so grateful I got to be here when it was.

I know that even when the credits roll for the final time, when the greater fandom forgets the show that they never really understood the way we have, I’ll be here, and hopefully, so will all of you. I think that the family brought together by The Bad Batch will endure, even if we go quiet for a while.

We’ll stick around, for the day the Batch comes back. Because I know they will.

Thank you Clone Force 99, the Bad Batch fandom, Dee Bradley Baker, Michelle Ang, the Kiners, and everybody who played a part in telling this story.

The impact The Bad Batch has had on my life has been profound, and I wouldn’t give it up for anything. It’s been a wild ride, and I have enjoyed every second of it. It has been a privilege to be a part of this piece in the ever growing history that makes up Star Wars.

Goodbye, Bad Batch. Until next time.

“Change takes getting used to. You’ll see. Just give it time.”

#star wars #the bad batch #tbb #star wars the bad batch #sw tbb #star wars tbb #sw the bad batch #the bad batch season 3 #tbb crosshair #crosshair tbb #crosshair bad batch #tbb tech #tech tbb #tech bad batch #tbb wrecker #wrecker tbb #wrecker bad batch #tbb hunter #hunter tbb #hunter bad batch #tbb echo #echo tbb #echo bad batch #tbb omega #omega tbb #omega bad batch

[kenlvry]

you're the only sp writer i request from you're literally my fav 😢😢 but can i request stan kyle and kenny with a reader who gets jealous really easily??

reader who is easily jealous

an, HI OMG THIS IS SO SWEET ILY ANON ☹️☹️🫶🫶 18-19

kyle

okay kyle didn't know you were the type to get easily jealous, i mean he js thought you didn't really care and kinda let him roll with whoever he wants but thats probably because he hangs out with girls who are in the same cliques as you so,,

it was until you literally glared at the waitress who stared at him for one too many seconds he knew, you ended up having a bad mood throughout the whole meal and eyeing the waitress "baby r you okay?" "why? if im not are you going to leave me for that stupid waitress?" "WHAT NO???"

theres always two reasons why you're so quiet on a date, kyle was too friendly with a girl or a girl was too friendly with him. you ignore him roll your eyes at him and he's just begging you to give him an ounce of attention.

if a girl likes his story you literally stalk her, her mom, her brother, her father, her boss, her colleagues everything.

you continue to ignore that girl for weeks and roll your eyes at her whenever you see her around cz why u liking my mans story? keep your likes baby

he finds it so hot tbh like omg ur this obsessive with me?? 🤭 he gets turned on by this for sure.

even though he finds it attractive and it gets him all sweaty he needs to he careful because you weren't easy to persuade once your jealous fr. once he had to get down on his knees, crying out to you to please look at him. he loves you though and he'd do it again

a thud was heard from your window, then another, and another. it was annoying you so you open your curtains to see what was causing the noise, it was your boyfriend. you opened up your window sticking out half of your body out of the window, "kyle?" you yell, "please unblock me, i dont know why she follows and likes all my post i swear" he yells back. you smile to yourself at how desperate this man is "what if i dont want to?" you put your hands in the frame of the window smiling "um,, I haven't really thought about it" "oh bye then" "wait wait!" he called out and you turn back from walking away. "I'll uh.. I'll freeze myself!" your eyes upon widen at his dumb idea "what no you idiot" he takes off his jacket, gloves and hands then put it on the ground, he then kneels clasp his hands together "please?" "omg." you rub your temples together and rush down. kyle sighs thinking you left him, looking at the ground of shame because now the neighbors think he got another girl pregnant or something. the front door open and he flung his head to its direction, you walked out with your own coat wrapping it around him "you can beg all you want but there's a way to do it without hurting yourself" "anything to make you happy" "I'm not" he chuckles as you drag him inside "don't do that again" "hmm we'll see" "kyle brofloski!" he chuckles again at you while you bring him up to your room, he really loves you.

kenny

LOVES IT SO FUCKING MYCH 😝😝😝

its like he knows you love him because you'll isolate yourself just because a girl winked at him and won't see him until he begs for forgiveness even though it aint his fault

okay that kinda sounds like a redflag,, WTV WALK HIM LIKE A DOG IG 🤭

anyways, he doesn't hate it dont care if it interferes his life. even if he has to give up everything to make you talk to him he'll do it IM NOT JOKING

he does not care, he has to block all the girls he knows? okay! never talk to any of his girl friends? yea sure! breath only your air and not lay his eyes on a single woman except you only? anything you want babe ☺️

ALSO GETS HARD FOR THIS PLEASE. i js know he's turned on after you get visually jealous.

"please baby look at me" he pulls your arm for you to stop your tracks from going into your room "shut up, maybe you should go to that hoe who waved at you, why did she wink?? did you two used to have something??" you pull back your arm and go up the stairs with kenny following in suit. arriving infront of your bedroom kenny pulled your arm again and when you turned he immediately fall to his knees "please, i dont know her" he hold your palm with both hands, glossy eyed "i,, kenny" "please?" tilting his head to the side, he'll sit there for hours if he has to. "get up mccormick, im sorry i overreacted" he got up so quickly then hugged you, his head falling on your shoulder "loveyou" his breath on your shoulder, you smile "love you too"

stan

i think he has a love hate relationship with your jealousy, like on one hand he knows you love him and would literally kill anyone for him but on the other... its kinda tiring to beg to you

i mean he doesn't care going on his knees, and crawling all fours for you but at times he just can't deal with it yk??

but he mostly loves it obvi, the way your eyes stay focus on the girl that was 'hitting' on him or the way you sulk and won't tell him why even though its obvious it's bc your jealous, its all so cute to him. and he loves this side of your jealousy, just couples being couple

other times though.. you'd block gim everywhere and won't unblock him until the next day when you reflect on your stupid decisions. or when you ignore him at school or not even make eyecontact with him, he hates and loves it.

you had another quarrel with stan again, this fight was because he still comments '☺️' under Wendy's post of herself, it was valid true but you still thought you overreacted. sitting on your bed with your arms cross and tears almost falling down at the thought of Stan going back to wendy broke your heart. ding a notification popped up and you pick up your phone hoping it was stan despite you blocking him everywhere, it was your friend "um, whats up with stan?" she texted you "wdym" your eyebrows furrow together, you immediately unblock him on Instagram and to your surprise his profile picture was you, his stories had 8 pictures of you with cute songs behind it. he had posted 2 picture of you two on his feed one captioning "traveling the moon and back to find good internet to see if her blocking me was a mistake or im a mistake". his bio was now "tell her to unblock me ☹️". you smile at this and your cheeks turned a pink tint. you unblocked him on every platform and it seems he had changed his profile picture to you on every single one. "." "BABE YOU UNBLOCKED ME" "i mean yeah i have to especially since i have 5 people texting me about your profile" "just wanted to show my girlfriend love" "whatever" a knock was heard on your door, then a chat from stan "open up i brought food and wine" you smile and blush to yourself as your rush down to open the door. he was the sweetest

#south park #south park x y/n #south park x you #kenny mccormick #kenny mccormick x reader #south park x reader #kyle broflovski x reader #kyle broflovski #stan marsh x reader #stan marsh

[senseioftheseidiots]

Me with Canon Wu: You let your brother go get your stuff for you and look what happened. You made a 'friend' of a Serpentine and taught her something you shouldn't have and looked what happen ! You filled a young child's mind up with dreams and broke them down and look what happened !! And even now with the Ninja, you don't tell them a single warning before they go into battle and LOOK WHAT'S STILL HAPPENING !! And after all of that, I find myself-!! Me with Your Wu:...still coming back here even though I shouldn't because you really need help with your issues and everyone makes mistakes and your superior- Nah, nah, I'm kidding but in all seriousness, your version is kind of what I want to believe for the character now. I don't hate on the original Wu since you can't beat the original but you also can't beat the fanon ! So with lots of love, enjoy making more content for him !

This has been sitting in my asks because I completely forgot about it- so ill use this as a headcanon dump, thankyou >:) You throw out alot of points here on the segment for canon wu, so let me throw in things ive held onto in hc to all of it PLEASE NOTE MOST IF NOT ALL OF THESE IS HC ALONE/TIMELINE SPECULATION "You let your brother go get your stuff for you and look what happened." This happened AFTER the meet with aspheera I believe, after it happened the two were forbidden to go outside monastery walls without permission, completely isolating them from the outside world in hopes nothing like that would happen again. Wu at this point was incredibly afraid to disobey his father because if their punishment from last time was isolation from a world outside their monastery, what more could happen to them? [it only got worse from there, but we arent talking about that yet.] "You made a 'friend' of a Serpentine and taught her something you shouldn't have and looked what happen !" Wu genuinely just wanted to be friends with someone, being the sons of god the fsm was rather picky on who exactly got to see the two. And he's never made proper connections until now, through out the entirety of their childhood [before teens] im pretty sure all wu knew as companionship was his brother, and when he found someone willing to help them, he didnt want to think about the warnings for the chance that she might actually be good, and that keeping a promise was the way to gain a friend " You filled a young child's mind up with dreams and broke them down and look what happened !! " If were talking about morro here, ANOTHER HC TIME to fuel my delulu state, look- He didnt WANT him to fight garmadon, hear me out here- if you go back to the scene of morro being tested to be the green ninja, the sword of fire ISNT the sword of fire. My hc here is this is the ONE time he's tried to change destiny for the better. It doesnt mean morro was destined, no, this was going to happen either way, but he tried changing destiny because this wasnt morro's fight, and he was afraid of what may need to come if it DID end up being him that was destined. He didnt want that. But when he did do it and got his own student killed [he tried finding him. he tried getting him back, he didnt want to come back.] He gave up. And this is where his mindset solidified, he couldnt change destiny, people will die, and itll be his fault. This was his fathers punishment for him. " And even now with the Ninja, you don't tell them a single warning before they go into battle and LOOK WHAT'S STILL HAPPENING !! " This one is funny to me cause, one, wu doesnt know how to fucking trauma dump I dont think he would even be able to think about it unless someone asks him, its actually the 'it never came up' thing. BUT, he wouldnt want to say much too quickly due to Morro's incident. Hell he didnt even want the ninja to see the green ninja scroll. If he had said too much too quickly, well theyll either turn evil or die..or both-

" .still coming back here even though I shouldn't because you really need help with your issues and everyone makes mistakes and your superior- " Hehe, thank you!!! I hope you enjoy the buncha headcanons i have here for you

#master wu #ninjago #ninjago wu #wu #ninjago master wu #lego ninjago #sensei rambles #ninjago wu headcanon #ninjago headcanon #sensei wu

[somnahypnosis]

I think I’ll name my pain.

I’ll give it form.

I’ll give it substance.

I’ll name it, claim it.

I’ll even call it Friend.

Who else will be my constant companion, who will receive all my attention, all my care.

It’s not its fault it lives.

It had no say at all.

I am its mother, but I am not its maker.

I was once, many times before.

Intentional, cruel.

Seems almost comedic how it comes now for me instead, my Creature risen from the dead.

But this time I did not create it.

It developed on its own.

And I shall be its mother, for who else would it have to claim it?

It’s not its fault for living.

Neither is the fault my own.

And yet here it is, a monster I have come to hate and mourn and nurture and feed.

A leech, parasitic.

And yet if it were to leave, I think I would miss it.

Who else knows me as well as it?

Would I know myself after so many years, trapped in isolation with only its consistency ringing in my ears?

I’m tired, I think.

What other word is there.

What other way is there to describe it.

Toxic, everlasting.

They’ll see it claim me when I’m dead.

But I shall still care for it.

What else is there to do but care?

It’s not its fault for living

And I’ve grown so lonely, so very lonely

I shall be its mother

And with me it shall be Friend

When words and actions fail me

At least the pain will persevere

#chronic illness #chronic pain #mental illness #mentally tired #poetry #terrible poetry

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

i had sex for the first time and it was kind of a horrible experience. i was checking out a bdsm club for the first time and a man in his 50s invited me to check out a different (sex) club the next day and bc i genuinely, idiotically thought he just wanted to introduce me to the scene and show me around i went. at the club he bought me a couple drinks, we talked and then he took me to a private room and went down on me. i didnt say no bc i was drunk and curious, and im bad at saying no to people in general. i thought maybe it would be fun. i wasnt into it at all but felt too bad to let him know. i faked an orgasm and left after a while. as we parted he kissed my cheek and said he hopes we can be friends. drunk me told him of course we could. the next morning i was hit with the worst wave of self loathing ive ever felt in my life, as well as just general disgust and regret. i cannot believe my first time was with an old man i feel zero attraction to. i already knew im probably a lesbian, but still i keep trying to be with men and i dont know why. i guess my question is do you have advice on how to get over a sexual experience you regret? how do i come to terms with the fact that my first time was with someone i feel grossed out just thinking about? and was i taken advantage of? im in my early 20s, he didnt know i was a virgin (i active implied that im not), and i know if i had said no he wouldve stopped. i wasnt falling down drunk or anything. he didnt really do anything wrong. i feel so stupid and ashamed of myself. i just wish my first time had been with a woman. i wish i hadnt been so naive and stupid and i wish i hadnt gotten drunk. i know its not true but i feel like no woman will ever want me now. i cant even masturbate bc the idea of doing something sexual, even just alone, reminds me of him and what i let him do to me. how do i move on from this?

hi anon,

I'm deeply sorry that this happened to you.

in this case, I would say the way to make peace with a sexual experience you regret is to understand that you aren't responsible for what was done to you.

to answer your question - yes, you were absolutely taken advantage of, and this person very much did do something wrong! quite a lot of somethings! he made the choice to lure someone younger and less knowledgeable to a secondary location you weren't familiar with, get you drunk, isolate you, and pressure you into sex that you didn't give enthusiastic consent to. all of that is CLASSIC predatory, manipulative behavior and reflects on him - not you.

you mentioned that you feel stupid; PLEASE don't. people are pressured into unpleasant sex all the time, very often in the exact same way you were: being entrapped in a situation where going along with it was easier than saying no. it's vile! and none of those people are at fault!

listen: you need to be on your side about this. would you tell anyone else who experienced this that they're stupid and naive? I hope not. I really hope you can find the compassion you'd extend to any other friend in this situation to yourself, because you're going to be the #1 person getting yourself through this.

feeling bad and gross about what happened is fine; what happened was bad and gross. please let those feelings happen and care for yourself while they do, because those feelings need to be felt! just be conscientious about which feelings you're indulging. it's fine to feel betrayed, violated, regretful, angry, sad, even to mourn for a better first sexual experience you could have had! just make sure to gently nudge yourself back if those feelings start veering into the realm of feeling guilty or responsible for the situation. not only is it unhelpful, it's not even true!

it's very sad that your first sexual experience was with someone you didn't want who treated you the way he did. in the future, when you're ready, I hope you'll be able to pursue healthier, mutually pleasurable experiences on your own terms. don't rush yourself to get back to any kind of sexuality, masturbation included - a good long break while you sort through your feelings may be very needed. there's no timeline you need to be on to recover from this; please don't get down on yourself for taking the time and space you need. if you don't have anyone in person you feel able to talk with, looking up online support and resources for people who have experienced sexual assault may be beneficial.

also, hey, please don't play the game of trying to say you don't belong in survivor spaces or how this wasn't an assault because your belief that he would have stopped if you'd told him to (a very generous assumption!) or because you led him to believe you had more sexual experience or it could have been worse or whatever. the feelings you're experience in the aftermath are textbook of assault survivors; that means the resources are for you!

also hey. listen to me. look at me. if any woman tries to tell you that you are less worthy of lesbian love and companionship because you have had sex with a man. ESPECIALLY a man who was taking advantage of you. you are going to send me their address and I will personally attack them with a baseball bat.

#sex edventures 2023

[hetalia-club]

I just have to spill my thoughts here for a second about my personal life for my own sanity. feel free to happily ignore and scroll by.

Good news everyone :D I just dumped my toxic emotionally abusive boyfriend. Terrible News everyone! :DDDD He was also my best friend and childhood best friend so isn't that great!? :)))

We were supposed to go to Sicily together in May...Why did I DO THAT!? I spent 2k on my plane ticket...the room is reserved... Do I like just not go to Italy now? Do I say F it and just go by myself? Do I try and quickly beg someone else to go with me who's okay with spending at least 2k on a plane ticket? Which would be no one in my life, maybe my parents would but idk what they got going on. I really wanted to go. Why could I have like just not waited until after that? We share a friend group and they are all more his friends than mine. So I just like isolated myself for no reason.

Sorry to dump this here and no I don't expect any of you to have the answers or do anything with this information.

These past few weeks for me have been really rough and I just made it somehow worse.

He distanced me from all my former friends who have all like moved on and have families and whatever and who I have not spoken to in five years so all I have right now is my family and work 'friends' I don't even like. I'm going to have to live with my parents for who knows how long because it was his house he had all the money in our relationship. He convinced me to quit my good desk job with benefits to work part time as a barista so I could clean his house and cook for him. But he also put up with all my weirdness and was fine with it.

Like when I say I have no idea what to do I truly mean that.

again I don't want anyone to feel responsible to do something about how I royalty screwed up my life. It's no ones fault. I shouldn't have let him isolate me so much from my friends and former life but TOO LATE NOW! I just need to stop being with men who have brown hair and brown eyes but are objectively terrible.

My only silver lining is that I was the one to end it. Which if anything am proud of myself for that because I have never broken up with anyone before and I normally just deal with whatever people do to me no matter how terrible and mean they are. I just have always forgiven him and everyone else.

But when some dude bro sits you down and asks you to "List reasons why you deserved to be loved by him" it was just too much. Like that might seem petty but I am sick of being the 'pretty girlfriend' I am so tired of having to dress to the 9s to go out and be expected to be perfect even if we're just going to a F*ng dive bar where I get stared out for dressing like I'm going to a club. Where he gets to look like a diarrhea stain who can't be bothered to wear a shirt that's not wrinkled or shave his scraggly beard. Why he thinks I should make a list of MY worth as a human being in his eyes. When he is average at best!? Like I'm not a 10 I'm not perfect I'm not delusional, I don't think I'm the hottest girl in the world or gods gift to man kind. But I'm out of his league, I do know that!

I always tend to cling to Hetalia harder when my life is falling apart around me because that's sort of just what I've done since I was a teen. I've never been in a healthy relationship with someone who actually likes me and Hetalia has always been there for me. Which is why I have been making a lot of content lately, it's been a distraction and I'm sorry if I've been bugging people with how much I've been posting. That's not been my intentions its just my coping mechanism and it's better than drinking...

This is the only social media I have that he's not on. I don't hate him enough to block him. I do still want to try and be his friend at some point if that's possible. I love his family and they love me and it's going to be so upsetting to see them again from a different perspective.

I'm okay...It's just been really rough lately...And I somehow just made it worse.(No I'm not going to hurt myself or anyone, don't even worry about that.)

#hc talking smack #i'm going to start dating men over 60... #i am one of the few fortunate people in this world who have wonderful parents thankfully. if not idk what i would do tbh... #i know they would never turn me away or kick me out in a million years #and i do think they will come to Italy with me if i ask “pretty please” they may even fund it if i seem sad enough

[luthwhore]

Lena was a prominent figure in the comic, Superwoman. I think Lana was Superwoman in it. I was wondering if you’ve read it and what was your thoughts on it? Specifically the character, Lena

The few things I know about her is she’s a wheelchair user and one of the few people Lex Luther calls his equal, True Equal (not really sure about this one fact). It would also be appreciated if u could refer to a post talking about her in the lens of a disabled person, I’m (kinda?) sure there was one and i didn’t reblog it

Sure! So, I referenced by dislike for the Superwoman (2016) comic in my Lex comic rec list, but I haven't really gone into it on its own before, mostly because at the time I was reading it I was still getting into comics and hadn't really started doing a lot of liveblogging or commentary at the time.

I also want to preface my feelings on the ableism around Lena, both in this comic and in general, by saying that I am not physically disabled myself. I have several close friends who are, including a roommate who is an ambulatory wheelchair user, so disability representation is something that I try to be very aware of, but I am not of any kind an authority on disability issues.

Also, I'm talking about this arc mostly from a Doyleist perspective -- i.e., focusing less on the culpability of the individual characters and whether I think their choices are understandable or justified and more on the choices made by the real people writing the arcs. This is not a condemnation of Lena's actions; this is a criticism of the writing choices made around her.

Putting this under a cut because I realized this is getting very long.

For a bit of backstory, Lena had been ill as a child -- with what, it's never specified, but the implication is that it was something chronic -- and that in an effort to "cure" her when he was a teenager, Lex had inadvertently paralyzed her.

This is actually something that was introduced by Geoff Johns' during Forever Evil, and other than the kind of dehumanizing language of calling her an "invalid" (which will be a recurring thing), I don't hate it. Lex does clearly see his inability to cure her as a failure, but it presents him coming to terms with it and realizing that he wants to rekindle his relationship with Lena, presumably for the first time in many, many years.

I don't have a major issue with this writing choice, because prior to Forever Evil, n52 hadn't really broken much with the unambiguously evil version of Lex that had been presented since Crisis on Infinite Earths, so the idea that he had neglected Lena out of shame that he couldn't "cure" her doesn't seem terribly out of place, and it presents a nice moment of character growth for him.

Justice League (2012), also written by Geoff Johns, is the first time we actually see Lena. When we see her here, she's shown in a wheelchair, and sees to be working for Lexcorp.

You get the sense that in spite of genuinely loving Lena, Lex has a tendency to be far too over-protective of her, often keeping her in the dark about things, which is a dimension to their relationship I really like! Geoff Johns is known for taking inspiration from Smallville in a lot of his Superman comics -- there are a LOT of nods to the show when he writes Kon -- and this, to me, feels very much like Smallville-inspired characterization.

One thing that DC does, that tracks across Geoff Johns, Dan Jurgens, and Phil Jimenez's writing of Lex and Lena, is really, really focus on "curing" Lena. In spite of what he says to her at the end of Forever Evil, he still ultimately sees her disability as his fault, and therefore, sees her as something to be fixed.

You can definitely put this off as a character flaw of Lex's, and I'm definitely not arguing that it's not in character for Lex to want to do so -- but it IS worth noting that this arc was happening at the same time that DC was leaning hard into erasing Barbara Gordon's disability as well, so this not an isolated incident of DC treating disabled characters like they need to be "cured".

For context: Barbara Gordon was the first Batgirl, and after being paralyzed by the Joker, then took on the identity of Oracle and ran The Birds of Prey. However, after around two decades of her acting as Oracle and being established as a hero completely separate from Batman, DC aged her down, erased her disability, and relaunched her as Batgirl with the start of the n52. (Recent years have tried to walk this back a little, but there was almost a decade of her being written as having miraculously healed from her disability.)

(It also does make me think a little of the "Lexmas" episode of Smallville, where Lionel is willing to put Lex through a surgical with a very low survival rate rather than accept the prospect of his losing the use of his legs. This isn't relevant per se, but I do think it's an interesting similarity.)

Toward the end of Justice League (2012), there is a scene in which Lena, while in possession of a Motherbox, pulls a gun on Lex and tries to kill him, and it's left unclear whether she was being influenced by the Motherbox or acting of her own accord. This is technically the start of the arc that gets picked up in Superwoman (2016).

Afterward, she ends up in a coma from her use of the Motherbox, with Lex once again swearing to find a way to heal her.

We also get a really touching scene of Lex talking to Lena at her bedside and admitting that part of the reason he has decided to be a hero now is that he wants to make her proud, and he knows she wouldn't approve of his past actions. This feels in line with the characterization established in Forever Evil; Lena is Lex's only family, and she's the only person in his life he can earnestly say he loves.

So, this is where we are at the start of Superwoman (2016). Lex and Lena have recently reconnected, and Lex is trying to be a better person in large part because of his love for Lena. Lena tried to kill him, which Lex believes was due to the influence of the Motherbox, and Lena is put into a coma.

It does seem like Geoff Johns was setting up Lena to become a villain during Justice League, or at least the potential for it, which I have... kind of mixed feelings about. On the one hand, I do think there is an interesting tension there, because Lex kind of expects to just pick up his relationship with Lena where they left off, and I think using her as an antagonist for him could have been interesting. On the other hand, with how the previous several arcs had set up Lena as the entire reason for Lex's redemption arc, it seems like an odd choice?

However... that's not quite what they do. While getting revenge on her brother is clearly a priority for her in Superwoman, she also... just kind of wants to take over/destroy Metropolis? For reasons?

In Superwoman (2016), we find out that Lex had tried to heal her by experimenting on her, and that when the experiment didn't immediately work, Lex abandoned her. (I personally find that really out of character, given what we were shown about their relationship prior.)

And we are once again treated to a character in a wheelchair being cured of her disability. This time, specifically as part of a villain arc. Which is... a choice, I guess. If they were going to use her as an antagonist, I really wish they would have done so without erasing her disability, but that's DC for you.

I also feel like a lot of her emotional complexity is stripped out in favor of making her like... a #girlboss villain, which is pretty par for the course for something that came out in 2016. The characterization here just... doesn't feel congruous with the Lena we were shown before.

I personally think, whether they wanted to use Lena as a hero or an antagonist, it would have made for a much more empowering arc not to heal her of her physical disability and instead have her seek to prove to Lex that her disability isn't something that needs to be "fixed" and that she's still fully capable of operating on his level with or without the use of her legs.

I also think the choice to use her as a villain who just wants to take over Metropolis (ig as a way to prove that she's better than Lex? by succeeding at something he failed at?) was a mistake, because one of the core conflicts with Lex and Lena in Justice League (2012) was that... Lena disapproved of a lot of Lex's actions?

The message in the comic re: Lena's disability also just feels. Really muddled? Like. It almost says something important here -- the "I knew my body meant nothing to you if it wasn't a perfect reflection of your fantasies of what it should be, but it was mine" line is good!

I think in better hands, it could have been a really powerful story about Lena's bodily autonomy, and how no matter Lex's intentions, he was still ultimately making choices that should have been hers, to make, but it just got buried in the mess of her being a generic scenery chewing supervillain, and I think that message would have hit a lot harder if they hadn't "healed" her, and if they had focused more on giving Lex and Lena and emotional arc instead of just... having her do a bunch of villain monologuing before having Lex defeat her.

Anyway I hope the "Ultrawoman" arc gets retconned out at some point because this really felt like a waste of potential for Lena and I think she deserved better than just getting turned into a supervillain before being written out of the canon.

#briar answers #lex luthor #lena luthor #comics meta #lex meta #anon i spent like four hours rereading bits and pieces of these comics and trying to organize my feelings #thank you for letting me ramble 🙏 #this is so long and i suspect VERY few people will care enough to read it #my meta

[voidaxolotl]

🚨Warning: Rant incoming🚨

Strange take, I'm not the biggest fan of playing Jackbox.

To be clear, this is not really a review of the games themself- Jackbox is fun and I think people should play it. This is more so on my experience and feelings about playing it. It's nothing against the games themselves, they're fun and for the most part they're expertly crafted for late night gaming and every inside joke thats stemmed from those late night gamings are still hilarious, however that doesn't make my lack of enthusiasm about playing jackbox any better.

I'd say I'm a competitive person, but since I'm kind of bad at most things I've had years to figure out how to handle the negative emotions that come with losing (and oddly enough the negative emotions and guilt whenever I do win)

Im no master at it, but I've been able to communicate when a game is making me upset and I'm fortune enough to have friends who understand my reasonings and understand that in multiplayer pvps (mostly Dead by Daylight) I'm all for taunting but it grates on me way more if I'm on a losing streak.

I've connected that my inability isn't to the fault of others so I shouldn't be aggressive towards them when I lose, and that I just need to keep at it and I'll eventually become better at the game, which has come true for the most part. Im able to push aside the hurt I get from losing either because I know I have gotten better (DBD, Among us, etc) or its a team effort so I don't feel isolated in the lose (L4D, Among us, Phasmo, etc).

But Jackbox has a specific way of making lose feel... Worse.

For those who don't know, most Jackbox games have players pitted against each other to make clever or funny responses or prompts, the player with the most liked response or promot wins the game- a simple idea that for some reason makes losing continuously hurt more and more. It makes you feel like the least fun or entertain or even least interesting person in the group when you continuously land in 4th or 5th.

It's to the point that playing Jackbox takes a lot of my energy, each round making me feel more exhausted and overstimulated, making it harder to answer prompts in a funny or clever manner which ends in more lose and more exhaustion- a vicious cycle.

I have not brought this up to my jackbox loving group for many reasons (mainly because I'd feel like the only person at a drinking party who doesn't drink, with the other people of said party forgetting what non-alcoholic exist) as well as the games being enjoyable to watch.

This is something that I need to work through and perhaps one day I will communicate this to my group, but till thenI think I will change to just observing any future gameplay instead of actually playing for my own health.

I don't know of anyone elsefeels similar about playing jackbox orany other game, but either way I know losing sucks and makes its hard to want to get better at something, especially if it feels personal or targeted. What we can do in the face of those defeats is determin if continuing down that route would be detrimental to our health and perhaps take a step back from it, maybe till another time or never again, or keep learning from our lose and get better.

There is no shame in deciding that pursuing something isn't for you, and in this case pursuing Jackbox and trying to win would probably do me more hurt then heal so I know it's better for me to step away. Maybe one day I'll feel comfortable while playing, and maybe one day losing in it won't make me feel the way it currently does, but until then I'm going to keep myself safe and happy and you should too.

Anyways, congrats if you've made it to the end and thank you for reading!

#rant #bit of venting #as a treat #jackbox #a bit of jackbox slander? #berhaps? #emotions #yuck #just a silly little guy with silly little feelings #long rant #kind of #feels long reading it

[mrfoox]

I hate how fragile my 'balance' is in life but especially mentally. I've been doing fairly okay in the type of not being too sucidal and generally not being negative mentally the last few months....

But now I am having the worst breakdown and I can't think of anything I've done right or am doing right haha

#negative #miranda talking shit #I need someone to sit down with me and just hold me... I know i got people online who would listen to me but im too ashamed to ever be #A bother. I feel so alone and its crushing me... Like i know a relationship doesnt fix a person but i just want someone to love #Who i can let my guard down around and who i dont have to... Pretend and act and perform around #And they'd still like me.... I feel so isolated its fucking stupid #I know its my own fault. I isolate myself from friends and i have no one irl outside my mom who cares to visit me #If someone would like me enough to share my apartment with who i could just be myself around would honestly be the dream #But id have to look for someone and idk how. Dating apps is honestly an exhausting mess and even if i find someone i know i am so diffrent #It wouldnt work. Bc what i want is so far from the norm. Im not looking for someone to have a family with and 'settle down' #I want someone to share life with. The boring moments the every day moments. They can do whatever they want i just want someone to love #And cherish and share my life with them. Idc if they work at McDonald's or is unemployed just want to share a little space with them #And cats.... But even if i found such a person there's so many issues with me like holy fuck... I couldn't be with someone with and above #Avarge libido for example. Im literally so dead in that department id have to be with someone who wouldn't mind not having sx for months #And lets not forget my autistic problems like thats a whole mess too... My add brain is a problem as well but eya #Wondering why im still alive again sucks so bad. I know im wasting my life but i also have nothing concrete i want to do with it so im just #Rotting. Legit my biggest dream in lifr is to be comfortable with myself and share my days with someone i love #Wsnt to not hate myself and want to die so badly ahaha #Want someone to Love Me ™ and is around

[madfantasy]

I cried my eyes out on and before my birth date, i thinking, reaching a new level of sudden burts of tears and dehydration – my throat felt like i had cold after. Its because I'm now a newer digit & nothing major have changed my whole life and only seems my resilience and power have declined to a point even drawing, which is my sanity,  my sanctuary,  my solace and fuel to live- the only thing I did consistingly for 8 hours a day or more, I can't do more than a few & in between days..

I prayed to God to take me, I'm still here clearly

One guardians also had the gall to ask me, while saying that they don't wanna anger me, now I'm 30 will I "inroll" for it now? For a split second I thought they ment I take a loan or something but no ofc its the same degeneracy of thinking that will never change. To marry and poop children. To restart the servant cycle that I have already endured with raising my 5 siblings that they completely checked out on the majority of the time and reached me a hazardous retching level of despising children and never really had a childhood because of it.

I was always the caretaker even with the people who I'm supposed to be friends with and I refuse to do so any more I REFUSE TO O REFUSE I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE

I screamed at them obviously, told them you already know my stance and how it hurt me every time this brought up, cuz already if u don't have family connections or you're poor, theres no chance. Just no chance. I know this society runs on the idea of pooping out family and supports no independence specially if u don't have the right peeing tools, even if its "advancing"..

Again they bring up its religiously required but they will not force it on me, I can't even bring up to them how the concept of sex makes me want to die rather then even consider it, but I stop myself and walked away, them still talking about how they only wanted to know

They at least know I want to live, I fucking did not have a proper underwear untill I started getting commissions, literally had nothing and still nothing, as I see my efforts fail horrendously to my fault lacking in my own surroundings or online social cues, school almost driven me mad so there's no hope for work or anyone to consider me.. I'm not even on square one of recovery, rather on -100

My other guardian unprompted told me that's not realistic, when later I told them I found something to hope for and it made me feel better.. I told them I need to have hope why u say this while our fucking life IS ALREADY UNREALISTIC YET IT STILL HAPPENING!! In a community u can't even walk 2 steps without everyone's in your business and social with u, weather u like it or not, yet we lived almost our entire lives completely isolated. Completely cut off the world to a point my latest baby sib having troubles speaking Arabic and understanding the concept of people. Poverty and having horrible extended family were the main excuses to this but they have not taken any chance to change anything, either.

Literally I couldn't tell my story to anyone cuz of how unbelievably exaggerated the issues are. And I can't do anything unless I want to ruin not only my life, but all of my sibs too. The previous  tries proved so..

.. so hopeless my chest hurt.. I can't get up from bed less my sib see my swollen face.. I still have to laugh nd play with them, nd only share my sorrow here

#text #personal #im sorry

[hanako-san]

Hi my lovely 😘 Please tell me everything you love about Hanako!!! Don't leave out any details!

Hi sweetie!😘💞 I got a similar question, but also didn't include some information in it, but if you want to read it's here ->💚

I would love to add more details and not omit them but unfortunately I can't because Hanako's past is not revealed in its entirety, there are only fragments which is frustrating so I will write what I didn't write in this question and when the time comes I will do a sufficiently long post without omitting details.

My brightest and most beautiful moon

I love you my moon

time to start answering the question,haha

From what is revealed Hanako was beaten, it seems like it was at school. He always isolated himself from the others in the class, he didn't go to school from what Tsuchigomori said. Same as me. I wasn't beaten, but I was mentally abused and ridiculed in elementary school. I isolated myself for the rest of school, barely making friends, it was hard for me, quiet, closed off, slowly starting to open up, doing things my way, protecting the people I love, doing everything for them… when someone blamed me I also apologized even if it wasn't entirely my fault or if someone hurt me I didn't do anything, like Hanako..I don't like talking about myself…Tsuchigomori wanted to get information from Hanako, as I didn't tell what was going on at school either, it was hard to get anything out of me. It did or it didn't. He will endure this pain alone,Self hate, low self esteem all this connects me to Hanako. I have the personality of Hanako.I have changed what I believe needs to be changed.I can understand so much.I know exactly how he feels, why he does it and why he behaves the way he does. I guess I can say that Hanako is my mirror image(despite the differences in several features)This made me love him, but the more I read, the more I discovered his other features and my love grow up,grow up… he is fascinating, wonderful!!

I am self-confident,don't hate myself and don't allow myself to be questioned or manipulated into apologizing when it's not my fault,I am more open. For Hanako, I wants too and I want him not to let himself be treated like a punching bag for Nene too.And finally he shouted at her that what she was doing was hurting him and he would not apologize to her for her mistakes but for his own instead of taking all the blame.

I wants to protect him from Nene, Teru and all evil because this boy didn't deserve it! He's suffered enough already!

Once Hanako decides to do something, he won't back down. This is one of the many qualities I admire him for. When he promises, he wants to see what he has to do despite the odds.

Hanako is not typical shounen MC like Naruto, Luffy or Goku. He is a very smart boy. He knows that if he does something wrong he will do it depending on the situation, but he knows what he's doing whether it's right or not.He can admit when he's wrong.

Hanako always tries to be nice when he's annoyed with someone. Like e.g. here.

What I admire about him is that he is kind to Kou, even though Hanako counted him twice, I guess (I don't remember how many times) and failed him. And when he's really annoyed with him in this scene, he's still nice, but he's going to tell him the honest truth. I admire,really very admire!

Something started to change in him and it was shown that he wanted to stay together with Kou and Nene, they reached his heart, became important to him while still he's in darkness. These two became important to him.Yes, bravo my moon bravo!

I really love how happy he is and expresses it! It's wonderful to see that he's having a good time, that he has some happiness after death

My most beautiful moon's perfect

#jibaku shounen hanako kun #toilet bound hanako kun #hanako kun #yugi amane #amane yugi #angrypaperearthquake #my answers

[creativebrainrot]

open journal entry

just writing about Brain Garbage i had to deal with today.

descriptions of abuse at the hands of my dickhead father. (not to be confused with My Dad who is a sweetheart that I would fight god for.)

TLDR: I am incapable of assuming that anyone who acts like they care about me or enjoys my company Actually Means It because I had Basic Human Social Ques weaponized against me for my first 16 years alive. I am currently incapable of believing that anyone genuinely cares when they're nice to me: They're ACTUALLY doing it out of pity/civility/jsut because they're a nice person/etc and Not because I am a friend that they care about. I am also incapable of assuming that anyone that enjoys my company considers me special in any regard.

like I still have to fight off dumb ass thoughts that if I disappeared tomorrow, no one would care. There's also the stupid little loopholes my brain will find like "even if they DID care, its because youre their friend and they "Should Care" and not because they, on their own, considered you, individually, special." because minds are, infact, Stupid, and Overrated. :)

im working on it.

i have literally no self perception what so ever. that's only slightly hyperbolic. If someone doesn't tell me what they think of me, my default is to assume that they like me in that moment. The second anyone stops talking to me for awhile, I assume it's because they're bored of me. That it's because they no longer like me. They'll be back in a week or two, or they'll be gone forever.

I know why this is my default of course. i've been isolated, for 21 years, in the middle of no where, with no friends- let alone real friends who care, until last December. my abuser. who would, when I was 13 and younger- actually he never stopped being like this. I stopped playing the game instead. He'd act "normal" (loving, listening to me, joking with me, caring about me, being a father,) for a week. then he'd reset. he'd be right back to acting cold, distant, like I was an annoyance, a nuisance. Unwanted. I would have no indication of this beforehand (thats how this bullshit worked, if id known, it wouldnt have been abuse.) He ambushed me with being fed up of me, wanting to play and talk with my father, like a child WOULD want, all the time. it was always either very insidious words he could pass off as an "accident" or him "misspeaking" or legitimately, straight up, brushing me off. his autistic, loving child, who took that shit VERY personally, every time. I wanted, and i needed, routine. I still need routine to be happy. I know for a fact he used that against me when he lived with us. There was another thing he'd do to me. I'd read all the social ques he set up, and understand all the things he said, but when I later assumed I'd known right, he would flip around and say he never said that. he never meant that. and always imply that I was stupid for thinking I'd understood his Exact Words correctly. obviously, this was more abuse, and he was just lying. because he could. to trip me up. to make me doubt myself. it resulted in me never listening to a fucking word he said. Aswell as the lingering issues of me, still assuming, that I cannot read people. That people who act like they enjoy my company are simply being civil. Or that they do enjoy my company, but it wont last. They'll get bored of me eventually and then I'll never hear from them again. Or i'll hear from them again a week or two later. I know it's all nonsense- That it's all just, residual effects from my abusive childhood. That I'll unlearn it eventually.

But I cannot put into words how frustrating it is to be having an okay or fine time and then be blindsided by how desperate and lonely I was trained to be by a manipulative piece of shit who never loved me. Lied to my fucking face- his goddamn child, every day of my life while he was in it.

To be blindsided by how insecure I was made to be. The self-hatred I feel for things that are not my fault is so goddamn, suffocating. It's not my fault I'm desperate for attention; I was deprived of genuine love and attention for 20 fucking years. Sure I had my dad that whole time but one parent cant, and shouldnt be expected, to make up for an abusive parent. My dad is the reason I'm even alive right now. He's the only reason I never acted on any of my suicidal thoughts. But he couldn't fix the abuse that piece of shit inflicted on us both. It's not my fault I feel worthless and unwanted; I spent the first two decade of my life being told through implications that I WAS a nuisance and unwanted and worthless. It's not my fault I'm so fucking lonely when he chose somewhere in the middle of nowhere with no my age around, with no school nearby I could walk to- somewhere with only military families that would leave in a few months or retired people who dont fucking want to talk to anyone else and sure as hell dont make for good friends for my queer gen z ass. Let alone that we're in the south, and I am nonbinary.

None of it is my fault. I want to unlearn it.

I just want to believe that i am special to someone. You don't know how tired I am of the voices in my mind telling me that I will never be wanted, or loved, or needed, or missed when I'm not around.

How tired I am of being genuinely incapable of believing that I have any value to anyone alive, unable to believe that anyone would care if I was gone tomorrow.

I am exhausted. I am so tired, of believing that I am unwanted, that I am pathetic, that I am worthless, that I will never be remembered when I'm not in the room or around.

I just want to unlearn it all and move on with my life.

Very slowly, I am.

There's brighter days ahead. I've held onto hope for so long it's starting to hurt. I want it to be over and done with already- all of it. The move out of this wretched house that always felt like a prison, unlearning these nasty lies that were implanted in my mind to make me vulnerable to more abuse, the poverty, which is also the result of residual abusive actions. I can't tell you how many times my dad saved that idiot from making us homeless.

I know that these nasty lies are just that; lies. I know that I'll get a chance to truly feel like my friends and loved ones care. I know that I'll be able to put all this behind me someday soon and never look back.

in the meantime I am so sick of the thoughts in my mind rendering me incapable of believing that my friends genuinely like me. So tired of it actually hurting, to even think of letting myself believe that they care. Every single last time I let myself believe that someone cared, I got hurt. But that "someone" was the same person, every time. The people in my life now, are not that man. Infact they've been kinder to me and shown more care for me than he ever genuinely did in the 21 years I had with him in my life. That's not even remotely hyperbolic.

idk man, brain shit is annoying and bullshit and BOY do I want my mind to shut the fuck up again and let me live.

#parental abuse #abuse #suicide mention #rotthoughts

[possessionisamyth]

honestly tho, looking at the past decade of my life, I'm realizing how much growing up I actually had to do in so little time? like everyone thinks theyre hot shit or someone who knows better when they're a teen up until theyre 19 and some people dont stop believing that and never improve but like

I joke pretty often that "if you knew me at the age 25 and before no you didnt~♥️" but those first five years of my 20s was me trying to speed run learning how to socialize and what boundaries were and constantly compromising my own boundaries while trying to be cool and likable and also not a problem maker and the one everyone can go to for their problems and just

It was messy, and embarrassing, and i said and did a lot of things I thought would establish me somehow and would make me good or better for whoever i needed to be good for and i fucked up a lot in the process of that, so i was just constantly not addressing what i did but keeping things in my pocket to never do again or to never even imply those things so i wouldn't be a problem

Which wasnt Great and contributed to my isolation and asking for a lot of self affirmation from the few friends i trusted to actually cry in front of, but it was just, looking back on it now i kinda realize those moments will never stop and instead of constantly panicking about if i fuck up or not im accepting that i can let things be what they are

Like, im still going to fuck up and say the wrong thing but thats okay, im not gonna be ostracized for it, i can apologize, i can let it go, i dont have to constantly defend myself or explain myself for every little thing, cause going from thinking "im always the problem and the one at fault" for a whole decade of my development and suddenly veering hard into the semi-jokey "im always right" mindset for the last 5 years has had a different set of repercussions im just now figuring out and trying to handle but its a lot better than the stuff i was doing before and im a lot healthier mentally because of the shift

so idk heres to me figuring my shit out one day at a time and letting myself feel things and fuck up and continue learning how to sort of be...me i suppose

#aris advents #messy as hell and repeating myself but thats fine!!!! #im allowed this!!!!

[indelibleevidence]

Okay, my fanfic might as well be good for something, so here's my take on the cheating through fic lines:

***

Allie:

“Jane had a screwed-up childhood that she barely remembers. She doesn’t remember all the mistakes she made while she was growing up, so she hasn’t learned from them. She was brought up by a woman who pitted her against her brother to compete for affection. She’s emotionally stunted as a result, and of course she’s still learning what unconditional love is. She never had it before she met you."

Allie shrugged and sipped her coffee, while Kurt processed her words. Before he could speak, she began again. “But sure, she needs to step up her game. No one’s denying that, not even Jane. And of course you should hold her accountable for her mistakes. I’ve already given her an earful for not treating you better. And if she screws up again, you bet I’ll be helping you find a divorce lawyer. You don’t deserve to be treated like dirt.”

***

Patterson:

Jane couldn’t help but get teary-eyed again. “You guys can hate me if you want.”

“Opposite, opposite,” Patterson said, putting a hand on her shoulder. Then she hesitated. “Well, not opposite, because I don’t love what you did, and if I ultimately have to pick a side, I’m gonna come down on Weller’s. But I can understand how isolated you felt. Until Roman came up with his little death-faking plan, it must have been hard for you to imagine you’d ever get home. I took a look into finding the bounty holder and I got nowhere. You must have felt pretty hopeless.”

***

Zapata:

“Come on, Jane. Of all the people you could have called in to go with you to save Avery, you picked the guy you cheated with? It’s like you wanted Weller to find out,” Tasha said. “I would have gone with you. So would Reade.”

***

Reade:

“Gotta say, I didn’t imagine her cheating, either. She takes more from you than she gives back, but infidelity is different from that. I’d guess the cheating was because she couldn’t come home. I’ve never seen her make eyes at other guys.”

***

Kurt:

“You take me for granted, Jane. You walked in here tonight thinking it was a foregone conclusion that I’d let you move back in here. You didn’t ask how I felt about it. You didn’t apologise for cheating. You assumed that I love you so blindly that I can’t live without you, that I’ll forgive any transgression you make and that you don’t even have to ask how I feel about it.”

***

Kurt:

“But you can’t compare not telling you about Avery to what you did. What happened in Berlin was an accident. But you? You stood in front of another man, and you made the decision to break your marriage vows. Sure, you took off your ring when you left, but you know me, Jane. You knew I could never accept that it was over without talking to you first.”

***

Jane:

“I’d been relying on no one but myself for almost a year when I met him. It was being part of a team again that drew me to him. Working alone has its advantages, but you don’t have anyone to back you up. The only opinion you have to go on is your own. And I was going a little crazy. I needed a friend. That’s all he was to me for most of that partnership. A friend who, in another life, could have been more.”

***

Jane:

“I know you’re hurting, and I accept that it was my fault, but there is no possibility that I would ever have cheated on you if I’d thought I could go home, Kurt. I’m not making excuses for what I did, but this wasn’t the self-control issue that other couples go through.”

***

Rich:

“Really, Jane? You have the most attractive, considerate, ass-kicking husband anyone could wish for. If he were single, and the least bit interested, I’d snap him up so fast, you’d only see a blur before the orgasmic moaning started.”

#blindspot #blindspot rewatch 2022 #blindspot 3x10 #blindspot 3x11 #blindspot fanfic #disclaimer: patterson siding with kurt over jane is just over the cheating issue #not including the averwho fuckup #long post