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awrestlinggirlwholoves80sbands · 3 years

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Laid out cold, now we're both alone (part 3)

A/N: Hello, this fic is very important to me because I tried my best to give justice to such a cool idea and I hope I did a good job. Plus I don't do multichapter ofter, so this was a challenge.

I wanna thank the lovely @livdonna for proofreading my work, you're literally the best <3.

P.S. If you want to get tagged in the next chapters, let me know.

Summary: Nikki needs to ask a favor to Vince Neil, in order to keep someone safe.

Warnings: Major Character Death,Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Drug Use, Angst, Overdose.

Pairing: Nikki Sixx x Tommy Lee

Chapter 1, Chapter 2

Taglist: @slashscowboyboots @witchytombstonesmile @arnold-layne @emometalhead @i-dont-like-rice @nikki-sexx @smokeandmirrorz

Bittersweet. That was the best way to describe Nikki’s emotional state as he got teleported in front of Vince’s house. They weren’t the biggest fans of each other. He was always so annoyed by his singer, whom he considered more of a diva prince than a front man.

Sometimes Vince Neil was a stupid spoiled fucker, in his opinion, yet he needed him. What made his blood boil the most was that he had to put his pride to the side, because this wasn’t about him but about Tommy, and there was no way in hell he would have disappointed him again, even if that meant having to deal with the blonde’s bullshit.

He decided to get in the blonde’s house but without showing himself at first. He wasn’t being avoidant ( absolutely not) but just he wanted more time to think, that’s all. The first thing he noticed was how different Vince’s mansion looked from Mick’s : outside there was a big pool, in which the clear water was shining thanks to the sunny day, meanwhile the inside was mostly white and gave the whole house a very elegant and snobby atmosphere; however it was very messy too, which was a huge disappointment.

It reminded him of the singer: face of an angel but inside he had his demons. Who didn’t to be honest? Unfortunately Nikki wasn’t so lucky to get an angel face to hide his dirty soul, he felt like everyone could tell how fucked up he was.

Lost in his thoughts he almost didn’t notice Vince passing right through him, talking on the phone in an exasperated tone.

“I know Doc, you repeated that hundreds of times! Yeah , I’ll call Mick and Tommy and we will do this fucking conference!”

There was a small pause. Doc was probably answering back, and Vince looked like he was about to smash the phone on the ground.

“What’s holding us? We fucking lost our bassist, our friend and brother. Jesus, I fucking get it that you want our money but show some fucking mercy, bastard! Fuck you!” He violently put the phone down, only to fall ungracefully on the couch.

The whole conversation made the bassist laugh out of anger. He knew Doc was all about money, especially because they made his life a living hell, but Vince appearing concerned about his death was honestly so fake.

What? Were you saying that Vince Neil was mourning him? The guy who kept fucking up the band over and over again was sad for him?

“Fucking Nikki, real dick move you pulled there!”

Nikki didn’t wait one second before sitting on the couch and making himself visible to the blonde.

“Oh Vinnie, that’s so rude to say.”

“WHAT THE FUCK?!” Vince screamed, trying to back away but just managing to fall off the couch.

The other man couldn’t help but let out a laugh.

“Nikki, is that you? What kind of joke is this?!”

“Yeah. Look it might sound nuts but I’m a ghost. I’m dead and couldn’t pass through because I have unfinished business to solve.”

If looks could kill, well Nikki would have died again judging by how Vince was staring at him. He saw his face turning into an angry snarl before he started to yell.

“What the fuck, Sixx?! You die, leave us all alone and then you even have the courage to stay a fucking ghost! You fucking selfish prick!”

The bassist felt his blood boiling, well not literally but he got the same feeling as if he still had blood pumping in his body. How did Vince dare to say such things? He was the selfish prick, he was the one never caring and always causing trouble. He was destroying the band!

“I’m a selfish prick?! I didn’t decide to fucking die! I put my heart and soul in the band and you kept destroying it. Now you want to accuse me? Fuck you!”

“You didn’t want to die? Oh well, what did you think would happen if you kept injecting that shit in your veins. We are fucking screwed now, without a bassist and ready to split up!”

Oh that was funny! Vince wanted to shame him, as Nikki was the only one drinking and fucking up with drugs. Oh sure Mick, Tommy and him could do anything but Nikki dares to shoot up, oh he’s a junkie! However he knew it was different, it wasn’t a simple way to party for him... He needed it to be alive. He had tons of pages written in his diaries that could be used as a proof.

“Oh because you’re such a saint, aren’t you Vinnie? I’m the bad one, I’m the one out of control. Well guess what? The only person I hurt was myself, meanwhile we can’t say the same thing for you!”

It was a low blow, a terrible one and Nikki knew that. Rage blinded him, but that didn’t mean he had to dredge up the past, especially on something as horrible as Razzle’s death.

Good job Sikki, great way to get your friend to do what you want.

Vince’s face turned red, his fists clenched and got up to Nikki’s nose. He looked like he was about to punch him, but he had to realize it wasn’t going to happen since the bassist was not tangible, so he kicked a small table.

“You’re the only one who you hurt? What about the band, the fans, all those people you lied to and made suffer. Most importantly, what about Tommy, Nikki? How is he? Because it doesn’t look like he wasn’t hurt when you left him all alone, when you preferred shooting up instead of caring for him.”

Tommy. If he knew Vince’s weak point, the singer knew his too. It fucking hurt so bad, now he was the one wishing to be able to slap him.

“You don’t know a fuck about me or Tommy. Shut the fuck up!”

“Oh, I know all the times I saw him scanning the room around hoping to find you, all the times he looked heartbroken when you disappeared in the bathroom during rehearsal. I saw him after you destroyed him, how he still loved you even if you threw him away like trash. His two worst nightmares came true: you left him and you died. So tell me again Nikki, how did you just hurt yourself?

He wasn’t about to cry, even if he felt like a thousand legs were kicking his chest, he wasn’t about to give that fucker the satisfaction to see him crying ( he probably couldn’t even do that). But after the pain came the realization : he was there for Tommy. He was angry to forget that this wasn’t about him but about the drummer, and he probably ruined everything.

Now the hard part came : swallowing his pride down and convincing Vince. Oh, he would probably torment the bassist as slowly as he could, but eventually he had to accept. Fuck, the two of them knew each other since high school!

“How’s Tommy?” His voice was so low, he doubted the singer heard him, but somehow he did.

“Oh, so now you want to know how he is?!” His voice was still loud and angry, but he must have seen the desperation on Nikki’s face, because he decided to answer anyway. “ He’s a mess. I just talked with him very briefly, he wanted to know if it was real. Then Doc fucking occupied this phone like it was his bitch, so I haven’t called him again, yet.”

This wasn’t the answer he wanted to hear, it wasn’t fucking reassuring at all… Fuck, literally anything could have happened, Tommy could have hurt himself or left the country and this was all because of him. He just hoped his family was going to be close to him, he was loved, they would have never left him alone. That was supposed to be his job too, but he failed.

He failed his sweet Tommy.

“Sixx, what are you thinking about?”

It was the moment. Even if his heart wasn’t beating, he still felt the oppressive pressure of anxiety. He wanted to run but he had to do it.

Swallow your pride. You fucking owe it to Tommy.

“Vince, promise me that you’ll protect Tommy, no matter what.”

“What?” The blonde was visibly confused and how to blame him!

“You were right, I broke Tommy and he’s going to have such a hard time. He fucking loved me, even if I didn’t deserve it, and now I’m terrified he’s going to destroy himself. You can’t let that happen!”

“Nikki…”

“I fucking love him Vince. I still love him so much. He deserves a good life, I can’t ruin him even in death. He needs support.”

“Why me? It’s not like Tommy and I are best friends.”

“Because both you and him have known each other for a long time, and when the band will keep playing there’s going to be you, him and Mick left. He would never tell his stuff to Mick and he has something else to do, which means that you have to do it.”

A dry laugh escaped from Vince’s mouth.

“What if he doesn’t want to get helped?”

“You know how to get what you want. You’ll find a way, I’d do it but I’m a little dead… look I know you hate me but I’m only asking this. Like I said to Mick, this is my dead man’s wish.”

“Okay.” The voice was so low and Nikki barely had the time to react before Vince disappeared in the kitchen.

All his insecurities came back to eat him alive. What was even the point of being a ghost if he still had feelings? The truth was that he wasn’t sure on how much Vince could help, sure having someone close to Tommy was good, but he knew his boyfriend and fuck if he was a stubborn fucker.

His boyfriend.

It was a dagger through his chest, yet it still felt warm like the first time Tommy called him that. His face always lit up whenever he said it. The drummer always made loving him seem like the easiest thing in the world, as it was even possible to love someone like Nikki.

But Tommy did and what did he get in return? A junkie boyfriend and eternal heartache, because the love of his life was dead now.

Vince came back with a beer and softer expression on his face. Nikki didn’t move from the couch so he sat back to where he was.

“I will do it. I’ll keep an eye on Tommy.” His firm voice eased Nikki’s worries a bit.

Fuck, he never expected to see Vince Neil agreeing with him.

“Thanks dude, I know you hate me but Tommy didn’t do anything.”

“I don’t hate you.” His voice was shocked and the bassist had to suppress a laugh.

Yeah sure Vince Neil, not hating Nikki Sixx.

“Oh c’mon, don’t tell me you weren’t happy to hear I was gone.”

“Fuck no. Nikki we might have fought a lot and you were a fucking pain in the ass, but I’d never want your death. I cried, you were still my band mate and brother!”

He wasn’t sure why this whole conversation was hitting him so hard. It was probably because he didn’t know how to react to the simple act of someone caring for him beside Tommy. Especially when this someone was his singer.

But did they really hate each other as they thought they did? If the roles were reversed, would he be happy about his death?

“I felt the same. Ya know, when we thought you were dead in the car crash.”

Vince gave him a small sad smile.

“Maybe we can bury the hatchet. You don’t follow me for eternity and I won’t talk shit about you in interviews. Deal?”

“Deal.” Nikki smirked.

It’s time to go, Nikki.

The same sense of helplessness he felt before with Mick, came back. Because he could pretend everything was somehow normal, until the voice reminded him that this wasn’t his place. Even if in this case it was for the best for him to go, considering how awkward it felt for both of them to be so friendly with one another.

“Vince, I have to go now.”

The singer made an expression between sad and relieved, but maybe for the first time ever, it was genuine.

“Don’t be a stranger. Send us some bottles of Jack or some strippers from hell, okay?”

Nikki let out a chuckle. Since when he was laughing with Vince Neil?

“I’ll try my best. Vince, keep the promise.”

“He loves you. You should visit him, he deserves to say goodbye to you one last time.”

He knew that, he fucking knew that already! It didn’t matter how hard he was trying to avoid that, he was going to go to him anyway, not only because Tommy deserved it but because he was selfish.

He wanted to see him one last time too.

“I know. I’m going to go to his house next.”

Vince seemed happy and gave him a small smile. Nikki took a deep breath and got out of Neil's mansion, feeling every type of emotion.

God, now it was show time.

#nikki sixx #Tommy Lee #Vince Neil #Mick Mars #Motley Crue #motley crue fanfiction #80s rock band #80srock #fanfiction #My writing #tommy lee x nikki sixx

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nanami-haruka1 · 3 years

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Archon's Temptation cw: none :) Genre: Fluff. Ship: Childe x Zhongli. AU: Spirited Away. AN: this is my first time writing a fic be nice. Word count: 1,133 words ~START~ Maybe it was the people, or the lack of any, but i had a strange feeling, Almost like there were people all around me but i couldn't see them. I had come across this strange town on the way to the top of a mountain with Teucer, he insisted we go and check it out but now i lost him and i doubt i could find him in such a big place like this, he said he wanted to go home but then he ran off. I hope i can find him before the sun goes down. I searched everywhere, up and down, in small areas and even behind the food stalls, but still, i had no luck in finding my little brother. I called out for him but was only met with a brisk wind and silence, actually, it was too silent, where was everybody?. The sun is going down now, i better go down to the city below and search for him, maybe he's there. If only there was a way out, i could've sworn there was never a mote here! it's..rising? I don't think i can get out of here, can i? I should go check for another exit!! Well that didn't last long, all around the run-down city is a rising mote, "Teucer in the name of the Archons where are you?.." I said out loud to myself, i hope my little brother is okay wherever he is. It was a horrible idea deciding to come here, if only i knew that before. Before i knew it i heard small little footsteps, "hello? is anyone there? Teucer is that you??" I said hopefully loud enough for whatever was there to hear me, but when i found the source of the footsteps i was very, very surprised, it was not in fact my little brother but..i actually don't have any idea what it is to be honest, its so cute though! it kinda looks like a baby dragon, but who knows it could be dangerous. The small Dragon-looking thing turned to face me and when met with my eyes promptly jumped on me and sat on my shoulder like some kind of bird, "Uh..Hi there, you..um, i seriously have no idea what you are, why are you on me?".....Silence, i should've known better, yeah right like animals could talk, on the bright side it is super cute though, and it doesn't wanna leave, guess i have a baby dragon now. It was odd how the little creature seemed to like me so much, "Guess i should give you a name, Hmmm" I looked at it and it shook its head at me, it lifted its head up showing a small ribbon with a little circular plate that said the name Zhongli, "So, your name is Zhongli huh? that's pretty cute." And i began my search for Teucer again, but it was cold, colder than i expected it to be, so much so in fact that i contemplated going inside the main building of this place. I looked at the small dragon on my shoulder, or i thought i did, by the time i had looked at my shoulder Zhongli had already been trotting towards the gate doors of the main building, i would've been mad if not for the absolute adorableness i was seeing, you know when cats do that cute little walk? yeah that just got soo much better, i didn't wanna go inside the building but i didn't wanna lose Zhongli so i warily followed behind him. We both stopped in front of the gate of the main building and when given a slight nudge it opened followed by a creaking noise that boomed through the whole city, soon after the sound of crying became apparent, it sounded far but i wouldn't miss a single chance to find my brother, i ran to find the source of the noise, and to my relief it was Teucer. I rushed over to him and hugged him tightly, "Teucer where have you been? i've been trying to find you for the past two hours!!" "i'm sorry!..there was...these scary monsters!" he said in a scared tone, hiccing and sobbing, i dried his tears and hugged him just one more time, "Come on now Teucer, lets go home now." And with that we were off. I hadn't noticed Zhongli had stayed behind until he jumped right back on my shoulder, Teucer seemed so happy, "Brother, brother!! thats a baby dragon

your shoulder! can we keep him, pleaseeeee?" his eyes shined in anticipation, "What? oh, you mean Zhongli? no, i don't think we can keep him." "What? but he's so cute, just look at him!" Teucer grabbed zhongli and held him up close to me, making a deeper voice pretending the dragon was talking "please let me stay with you bi- ahem, Childe" Then he looked back up at me and stared, and he wouldn't respond to me until i agreed to let us keep Zhongli. Once we arrived home we prepared a small bed and some food for Zhongli, he seemed to enjoy the area a lot, and after he had finished eating he went right to bed, he did seem tired, must be from living in a city where nobody lived, poor guy. I pat him on the head then went out on business duties. I came back later than i had expected, i hoped Teucer wouldn't be mad at me in the morning, i promised to give him something he really wanted. Though when i had come back Zhongli was nowhere to be found, i looked everywhere for him but i couldn't find him, until i looked outside, i found...a person?! He kind of looked like Zhongli, horns and the same color scheme. It seemed i was too loud because he looked over at me, but after recognizing me sighed and went back to watching the sky, "Who are you?!" it was a dumb question but it was the only thing i could think of saying, he stayed silent for a couple seconds "You dont recognize me? I thought you would. Its me, Zhongli." his voice was calm, and smooth. He left me absolutely dumbfounded, he was beautiful. ~Timeskip~ It was a nice night, me and Zhongli were sitting on the steps of our house, just enjoying the quietness and tranquility, then came the sunrise, "Shit..Zhongli i'm so sorry, i have to get ready for work now." i felt guilty, "No worries darling, i'll be home when you get back" he always made me smile. I went and got ready then left per usual. I think if it wasn't for Teucer getting lost i wouldn't have met the love of my life. ~END~

#zhongli #childe #zhongli x childe #genshin impact #genshin #genshin fic #fanfic #fluff #genshin fluff

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i-have-feelings-bitch · 3 years

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some thoughts on ÉLITE s4 immediately after finishing it

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD, obviously

so. i have some thoughts.

i really disliked how they kept on piling up problem upon problem and i’ve seen that a couple dozen times by now and it always ends the same - nothing gets solved. Not really, anyway. The solution usually is; another problem happens, but its bigger and far more important and severe than all of the other ones combined and it overshadows everything that had happened before.

on that note, and to be fair, this is a teen’s drama show. So i don’t mind it, just to be clear here. i enjoyed the heck out of this season, right now, it’s my favorite season of all. That might change later, as all of this still is so new and fresh and exciting so my mind naturally snaps onto it.

first things first; Omander went just like i predicted - they broke up just so they could get back together eventually, after some hardcore drama. (i cried anyway. a lot.)

there’s one character i liked throughout the whole season. no, wait, two actually. first is rebeka. i feel like her decisions made sense. i liked her story arch a lot. the second one is azucena. what a queen.

.........guzman has a really bad temper. always had and probably always will. (to the samu/guzman/ari drama; why couldnt they have a pretty threesome, ari was quite obviously polyamorous (but i guess nobody has ever heard of that lol) and samuel and guzman almost fucked any second anyways so what exactly was their problem)

surprisingly enough, i liked Patrick in a lot of moments, about 50%. i absolutely despised him in the other 50%. tbh im really not sure about his character like with him, i don’t see any reasoning or goal or whatsoever. i have no clue what he wants to achieve?? guess he just wants to be gay and fuck around and honestly? fair enough

Mencia. Oh, Mencia. i liked her a lot from the get go and i still think her character is cool as shit, but there were quite some moments when i wouldve loved to smack her across the face. i also cried a lot when it came to Mencia/Rebeka. when Samu said “Fuck, you two are cute”? i felt that. i very much cringed at the chocolate scene, but to each their own i guess.

Ari; about 95% of the season disliked her. i didn’t hate her, but she was like a knockoff version of Lu? listen, i know i’m being biased here and it’s very unfair towards her, but to me, it just felt like she always tried to be the mean girl but never really succeeded. my opinion of her skyrocketed in the last few minutes of the last episode, though. we love some good sibling care in this house. not like it had been like that in the beginning, mind you.

i. fucking. hated. Benjamin. like the whole time. i think there was legit one single moment when i thought like “okay hold on that was the first (and last) good move you made this whole season” and it was when he offered Mencia to listen to her anytime she wanted or needed to. otherwise. fuck him. his attitude, his way of talking, his way of acting, fucking everything. (in the very last scene, when he destroyed the table? like yeah, i get that you’re emotional and angry and shit but my dude, your youngest daughter just told you she basically got r*ped on a daily basis by the guy *you* invited to your house because you only saw his money. can you please show some motherfucking self-control and not scare said daughter to fucking death oh my god i hate this guy so fucking much) also because he kicked out azucena. on that note, ander being protective of his mom? absolutely living for it.

aaand Ander. here we go. oof. i did not like him for a good part of the season. actually, i think it probably started in episode one and ended in the last one, lol. i just felt like there were little things that made sense? i appreciated him telling Omar that he finds this other guy (aka Patrick) hot, but like some time later, they break up in this really horrible and heartbreaking sequence and a minute later, Ander goes whoring around like there’s no tomorrow? like, literally? huh? i found myself really torn between who to dislike more; Ander or Patrick. nice el desorden reference. (both the shot where he masturbated alone in the shower and the book, lmao)

as for Omar; can the writers just leave him the fuck alone please? what did he ever do to yall to ever deserve all this shit he has to go through constantly in this show holy fuck i HATE how he got treated by Ander and Patrick and Benjamin. This boy deserves so much better. he did seem a little out of character sometimes, i gotta say. not sure why tho. most times, he was the sweet, empathetic cinnamon roll we know him as. like idk man he does so much for his friends?? the thing with Philippe and Caye at the bar was adORABLE

which leads us to

Philippe. dude. what. was his character. most of the time, i felt kinda bad for him, like his so called friends literally all just saw the royalty in him (not that he made the impression that he didnt like that in the first few episodes, but yeah it’s a thing so i reckoned that would come up later on). also i was so happy for Cayetana ughguhghguhghh they were really cute together......but then he gotta pull this shit, like what??? in the actual fuck. he’s just like “yeah some girl tried to sue me, saying i r*ped her” and then later he’s like “so yeah i’m actually a r*pist, whoops, sorry, can you stay pretty please?” like ex fucking cuse the shit out of me sir. no. the problem is i *want* to like him because pol granch is a fucking sweetheart and i’m catching myself thinking stuff like hes kind of aware that hes a borderline r*pist and that hes also very aware that it’s not okay? but like? he doesn’t try to change? don’t even get me started on his mother. ugly ass bitch. that’s all i have to say.

so i didnt like Cayetana for a major amount of s3, like at all. but yeah, what can i say. shes just a sweet girl okay and now i have a soft spot for her. much like Omar i feel like, she gets a lot of shit, completely uncalled for and there’s nothing she can do against it she just like stumbles into the pile of crap and then is knee-deep in. i feel very sorry for her man i just wanna hug her.

just for the record, there was not a single second that i thought Amomrdm(shit i forgot his name lmfao) -the bad guy- was just being nice and helpful. tbh he just deserved what he got. whoops, there, i said it.

the build up in the last episode was very nice, i gotta say. it was low key obvious who would be the one to attack Ari, but it’s alright. i did not expect the thing with Guzman tho lol. You go man. (but still, aggression problems.)

side note; dude it really sucks that guzman and samuel were too busy fighting over Ari to actually notice her missing lmao

oh also - Rebeka’s ninja kick on the dock??????? HELLO????

guzman and ander leaving made me so fucking emotional?????? excuse me??? who gave them the right?????

edit; (a day later)

just noticed i completely forgot Samu, lol. hes just so far away from my type and i dont really have an opinion on him like yeah hes kind-hearted and cares for his friends, and thats sweet, but uuuhhhhhh. i was only there for the lil gay moments between him and guzman. there were a lot of them. i was really happy when he and Rebeka made up and talked to each other again, that was kinda wholesome. aside from that tho? idk hes just kinda [shrug-emoji] for me (like he had been from s1 all the way on to be quite honest)

that said, i’m sure theres lots more thoughts in my mind but the heat is making my head hurt lol ok bye

#elite #elite4 #this is neither a pretty post nor something serious #literally just me rambling #also it was like 3am when i wrote that initially #but i guess in case anyone wants to read it ill post it #also saving it for later #lily rambles

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jimmymcgools · 4 years

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Kim and Jimmy going to Jimmy's place after the disasterous Christmas party to Jimmy asking Kim what they are in chapt 15 for the ask meme we are refusing to let die.

♥️♥️♥️ i saved this one for last so that they’d be in chronological order!!

fic commentary meme and my answers

if anyone else still has any scenes or moments from my fic they’d like commentary on, let me know! ❤️i love answering these so much.

Kim’s music sounds discordant tonight, the lyrics inaudible and the guitars harsh and jangled.

jimmy voice: some sorta dang shoegaze yet again!!!

He can feel the white hot anger beneath his skin, and he wonders if Kim can feel it too, burning through his shirt.

a little angry subversion of the wording at the end of chapter 7 when he thinks about kim feeling his heartbeat through his skin outside the dog house.

He thinks he can sense her breath on his shoulder, thinks he can sense the presence of her behind him like a weight in the space.

“weight in the space” is an odd turn of phrase, but it’s another tonally-different return of something jimmy’s thought before. here it’s the “He can feel Kim beside him even though he’s not touching her, a weight and a warmth to his right.” from beginning and end of chapter 10.

Kim strokes her thumb back and forth again, up and down over the curve of his lower back, the movement making a soft noises on the fabric.

and we’re back at our old kim-using-sex-instead-of-talking thing here.

i mentioned it in an earlier answer but i had a few reasons for why kim does this here -- the first is just that part of her has always been attracted to that darkness in jimmy, and right now she’s gonna let that part have what it wants. and there’s the other selfish layer to it, which is the idea of her almost using him here, just to prove to herself and the imaginary ghosts of those HHM associates that she’s not like them.

but i also didn’t want this scene to be completely devoid of the love/care they both feel, so it is also her trying to offer jimmy what she thinks he needs. what she thinks he needs.

they’re both angry, mostly at the world and at other people, though certainly part of jimmy’s anger is directed at kim. i don’t think he’s consciously taking it out on her in this scene, but there’s a definite lack of warmth and connection here, a kind of resentment that after all this time and waiting THIS is how and when she decides to cross the line in the sand. fuck if he isn’t going to take what she’s offering, but there’s a kind of gross entitlement there in his thoughts that kim somehow owes him sex.

Kim stares up at him intensely, eyes boring into his. She’s so close he can see the flecks of white in the blue of her irises again—the streaked, paintbrush clouds.

our old friends the abq paintbrush clouds. i always picture this look as the one she gives him in 4x09 after their argument.

“You okay?” Kim asks, moving to kneel beside him, her brows folded with concern.

again wanting to make sure this scene didn’t become so cold and angry that there was no care or concern between them.

He opens his eyes and stares at her and he thinks—you never met this guy, Kim. You wouldn’t like this guy.

She trails a hand lazily over his stomach, back and forth, stoking him, studying him right back. After a while, she pulls her hand away, and just kneels there, staring at him.

kim does this a couple of times in the scene, where she just waits, offering herself to jimmy. well, offering herself to him physically, at least.

Kim lifts her palm to his cheek and holds him like that for a moment, scrutinizing him. He thinks she must be looking for something. He doesn’t know what to show her. He breathes out harshly through his nose. “Fuck them,” she says, crisp and precise

i always thought of this as kim looking for her own feelings in jimmy again, looking for that rage. i dont think she’s looking to see care/love in his eyes in this moment. she’s looking for an affirmation of her own anger, her own choice of side here.

and then her dialogue -- there was no “them” involved in the dynamic when these two slept together previously. they’re each in some way using this sex to express how they feel about everyone else at the christmas party, not how they feel about each other. so that’s the fundamental lack of connection, i think. and they’re certainly less connected afterwards, especially if you think about how they were in the phone call or the playful flirting in the parking garage.

He rubs his palms up the side of her thighs and over her waist, pausing to dig his thumbs into the little dips of her bone for a moment. Kim hisses into his mouth and he laughs, pressing his thumbs down tighter.

they both know from last chapter this is where kim had bruises last time. but it’s kind of cruel here. i think this is the only time either of them laugh in the scene, and it didn’t feel like a very nice laugh when i wrote it.

“Shh,” Kim says against his mouth

again denying connection -- she shushes him a few times. very different from white sands.

The water makes a steady hiss, and he can see the shape of her moving behind the frosted glass.

jimmy looking at obscured shapes/patterns yet again. here it’s kim who’s the world-on-high he wants to belong in but he can’t understand. it’s also (“the shape of her”) dehumanising her a bit, leading into:

“Listen, I’m okay with it,” he says sharply, and the figure in the shower stills again. Something simmers in him, pushing the next words to the surface: “But what are we doing here, Kim?” More silence, and he can't stop himself now. “You just wanna fuck every now and then and otherwise forget about it?”

and he’s the entitlement again. this is just so horrible from jimmy. kim at her most vulnerable, basically cornered. has anything good ever followed someone saying “Listen,”? i dont think so. jimmy’s here is obviously a blatant lie, and kind of manipulative, too.

It sounds like static. Like a dead channel.

“dead channel” i took from neuromancer: “The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.”

that simultaneous nothingness/everythingness of a dead channel seemed the perfect accidental answer to jimmy’s question.

and also @the-parallax-of-rain killed me with her comment on this chapter, so let’s add it here too, for posterity. 1-800 emotional terrorism.

I just love the thought of static so much, like how it's always there in the background and you never know it's there until you really pay attention. Like as I'm typing this, I just realized there's a static sound coming from the humidifier (it's super dry here lol), and also the background humming of my laptop...and the idea that this is the way that Kim might perceive - or might have to perceive - their relationship as kind of on the backburner, either because she doesn't know what she wants yet or because she's too busy with school

When she does, he drapes an arm over her, and she pushes her back against him and reaches for his thigh, pulling his legs up to fold closely behind hers. Jimmy stares into the curve of her shoulders and watches her breathe.

and they’re finally connected again physically, but emotionally distant. felt very “something stupid” to me. i didn’t want this to feel warm at all.

i was so happy and relieved at the reception this chapter got when i published it ♥️♥️♥️ and it’s been awesome to work my way through it again with this commentary.

again, if anyone still has scenes they’d like to hear thoughts on, drop me an ask! i live for it 🙏

#commentary ask meme #queenofnots #mcwexler #better call saul #nebraska is for lovers #asks #a controlled burn

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mysmedrabbles · 5 years

Text

RFA Comforting an MC with Terrible Period Pains

requested: by anonymous

a/n: oh my god the header is a MOOD for this ask. enJOY and hAVE FUN READING THIS therES SO MUCHCOFFEEINMYSYSTEMHHHHH want to support my period-ic writing ayy see what i did there? then feel free to buy me a coffee!

warnings: aside from that terrible pun you just witnessed? n/a

-AAAAAAAARRRGHHHHHH mod alex

Jumin

-he finds you clutching your stomach, sweat beading your forehead as you move from uncomfortable position to uncomfortable position, mastering positions he’d figured only Elizabeth the III could do

-worry creases his forehead as he rushes to your side, touching your side gingerly, almost scared that you’ll crumble under his fingers, but all you do is let out a pained groan, unable to speak as the pounding in your head grows louder with each stab through your gut

- “mC aRe YoU dYiNg???”

-through pained gesturing, he finally understands that you’re not dying, just going through a torture worse than death

-has no idea what to do, just lays down with you, holding your hand and rubbing soothing circles on your back

-as soon as you finally fall asleep, he’s calling the doctor, wanting a professionals opinion on how best to lessen your pain

-poor doctor in his mind is probably like, “you,,,could have looked this up,,, on your phone,, that you used,,, to call me,,,,,,,, at 1 IN THE MORNING”

-he feels awkward, not being able to help you with more than a hot bottle on your stomach and keeping you company, running his hands through your hair and massaging your temples as he sits with you, helping you the only way he knows how, by rambling about the stock market

-at some point you tune out what he’s saying, focusing on his voice and the comforting patterns hes tracing on your skin

-you can bet that he buys you the most expensive german chocolate, anything that you want, anything you crave will be imported right away and be on your front doorstep the next morning

-he most likely has a calendar app on his phone where he keeps approximate track of your cycle so that he’s always prepared to give you extra special attention and care

-when he goes on business trips that last longer than a week, he has a box specifically made, kind of like a care package containing but not limited to:

-the finest chocolate (10 different kinds! with a surplus of your favourite!)

-those emergency hospital crack-and-place heat packets, good to keep on your lower back and uterus

-oranges and broccoli (though these tend to be in the fridge)

-with a small note on how much he loves you and will see you tonight on call, telling you to take care of yourself and leaving the doctors phone number in case of an emergency

Jaehee

-she KNOWS the pain,, she K N O W S

-im not saying that at some point your cycles start happening at the same time, but thats exactly what I’m saying (i have no idea how this happens irl but it does and?? idk its odd)

-so generally the two of you are sitting home together, laying sprawled on the couch, 4 Ibuprofen between the two of you as you watch Zen’s old musicals, watching Jaehee sleepily hum along as she holds you against her chest, stroking your hair and bringing up your hand to her mouth, kissing your knuckles as the two of you fall asleep together

-she knows you have a harder time than her when your period rolls around, so she has a tendency to insist that you don’t stress yourself out at work, keeping you mostly behind the counter where you’re not carrying hot liquids for too long.

-helping you out whenever she can, hugging you from behind as you struggle to stand on your feet, giving you momentary support as she takes the cup from your hands, instructing you to sit down

-no one has ever seen her so lenient with someone when it comes to work

-you log onto the server to gush about Jaehee, posting pictures of her running around at work, helping customers, “ThAtS mY wIFe Y’aLL”

-she has a special coffee brew that she only breaks out when you’re in severe pain, added her secret ingredient (which she refuses to tell you about) that somehow make everything better

-practically begging her to judo kick you in the spine because goddamnit it hurts so bad (she doesn't, opting for a soothing massage instead)

-kisses and cuddles galore, she puts the care in “caring for you,” to the point where she doesn't complain about her own mediocre periods upon seeing just how bad the pain is with you (please take care of her anyways she deserves the best)

Yoosung

-listen,, this boy grew up with sisters and a mother, he’s practically a pro when it comes to helping you out

-the second he sees you rush into the restroom in a panic, he’s already getting the pill bottle and hot bottle out, doing the bed the way you like it and pulling out your favourite blanket and warm stuffed animal

-insists to take care of you the whole time, and is willing to skip school to stay home with you,, its only after threatening him from the bed, wagging your finger weakly at him does he actually go, however he’s one to send you worrying text messages through the whole day, and silly photos of a leaf he saw or a funny cat meme

-he cooks for you like theres no tomorrow, and is always extremely apologetic when he gets home an hour later than normal due to grocery shopping, only to find you having finally fallen asleep, stuffed animal discarded neatly on the bedside table, hugging his pillow instead

-his eyes soften, heartrate slowing down as he gazes on your sleeping form

-trying his best not to disturb you, he tiptoes out of the room, getting your favourite dinner ready, and trying his best to make something with your preferred chocolate

-you hobble out of the room sleepily, the smell of food drawing you to the kitchen

-he’ll immediately drop everything, running to you as he helps you to a chair, chiding you for getting up and straining yourself when you could have just called for him

-playing video games together lazily, him joking that he should let you win, but this just drives you to beat his ass in mariokart, absolutely demolishing him with no mercy

-he sits there shell shocked as you sit next to him grinning

Seven

-he’s versed in over five languages, survived the worst years of his life, is number one in the Shooting Star Server, the best hacker on the planet, and yet he has no preparation on how to help you through periods

-he knows the basics, but seeing you in such pain makes him rethink everything he thought he knew

-he sees you constantly shifting, arching your back in a vain attempt to crack it, crack any bone for momentary relief, and decides this is his time to shine and help you somewhat

-he gives the best back massages, working the pressure points on your lower back, and getting out all the knots in your shoulders, pressing kisses to your shoulder blades as he goes along, fingers working on the entirety of your back.

-shares his Honey Buddha Chips with you, even letting you take three or more bags, as long as you promise to not waste any that is.

-keeps you away from spicy foods, dairy and phD pepper, his technical knowledge had gotten him that far at least, and even though you’re more than happy to eat junk food for a week straight, for the first time ever he insists on eating better, giving you foods such as salmon and oranges,, only after heavy persuasion and multiple times of you threatening him does he let you have chocolate

-he stays with you the whole time, making sure you’re laughing and taking care of yourself, trying his best to ease the pain with terrible terrible jokes and horrible Saeran impressions

-he knows that you dont like having a heating pad on your stomach because its so weird barely being able to move and having to stay in one place, so he places his laptop on your stomach, letting it overheat on your pelvic area as the two of you play fireboy and watergirl

Zen

-before we start i just wanna say Zen is 100% the type of guy who would hold no disgust or immature “ew thats icky”type attitude to the thought of buying his s/o menstrual products and he looks down on any man that does have that attitude

-he’s not quite versed in how to help you, but he’s a fast learner, and would rather rely on your own reactions to his help and seeing what works for you as opposed to just asking the void that is the internet what is supposed to help

-he’s one to carry you everywhere while you’re on your period, not letting you strain yourself for fear you’ll get off balance, fall and hurt yourself, and he’s constantly referencing you as his prince(ss), even more than usual

-singing you to sleep, letting his melodious voice wash over you as he holds you close, letting his natural body warmth keep you warm

-strokes your hair as you lay down, exhausted from all the pain, your body physically not able to stay awake anymore, practically blacking out

-if you cry, he’ll hold you, massaging your back and whispering soft comforts in your ear, but inside he’s pained by the distress this is causing you, and is mainly frustrated that he can’t do more

-sometimes he wakes up early in the morning to go for a jog or get breakfast for the two of you, and he’ll leave multiple sticky notes with sweet messages, ensuring that he’ll be back soon and to take it easy until he’s back home

-this man with Refuse to let you strain yourself in Any way, and will drop Everything to run over if he sees you so much as bending over to pick up something, practically throwing himself over the dropped item and insisting to pick it up for you

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burnedbyshoto · 5 years

Note

Shouto with a s/o that hates leaving her house. They only leave for food and other necessaries.

todoroki shouto x reader

warning: fluff

word count: 1,131

a/n: okay, so when i thought about this, it took me awhile to figure out where I wanted to take this. because it came down to whether or not shouto is a homebody… and to be fair, I still can’t decide on that. also if this was fluff, angst, whateverrrr LMAO but anyways, i hope you enjoy this anon!

y/f/f = your favorite flower

You enjoyed being home. Why was that such a crime?

Many people always suspected you had agoraphobia, or something similar to it, but the reality of things was that you just felt that the outside world wasn’t for you. You hated the rude people you were forced to interact at a socially acceptable way, you hated the way people pushed and shoved, and most importantly you hated the non-stop energy people alleged to have.

You enjoyed your house. The calmness of it, the tranquillity of being alone, the way you could practically crawl from room to room and never be touched, and above all mannerisms that were created because of you, not some impeding social expectation.

So you sat at home, laying down on the couch, a blanket thrown over your legs and a book tucked nicely in between your hands. You were waiting for some company to arrive, and you just wanted to relax before having to entertain.

Slowly flipping the page to your book, your eyes looked up to see the door open and close. In walked Shouto, with bags of groceries, and you smiled warmly as you stood up to help him out.

“You know, I was going to go get groceries today.” You say grabbing a bag from his hands as he closed the door behind him with his foot.

Shouto nods his head, giving you a ‘hello’ kiss as he walks off towards your kitchen, “I was already there, so I picked up what I knew you needed.” Shouto explains as the two of your silently unpacked the groceries.

You unpacked quickly, staring quite often at your boyfriend who looked like he wanted to say something, but just didn’t know how to put it. “Y/n?” He asked, his eyes focusing on the egg carton in his hands as he turned to stack them in the fridge.

“Yes?”

“I have a business party, for work, and I don’t like attending these events, and I know you hate leaving the house. But would you accompany me? For the night?” Shouto looked at you, unsure of what exactly your reaction was going to be.

You still, not sure whether it was something you were all too sure about, and you looked at him, “How long would it be?”

“Just a few hours, four tops.”

“Okay…”

Shouto looked at you with a grateful smile on his face as he walked over to you, pressing a soft kiss onto your cheek, “Thank you.”

You roll your eyes playfully as you bury your head into his chest, “You’re welcome.”

The next week, you found yourself carefully applying makeup to your face, and fixing yourself up into a formal dress that brought out the color of your e/c eyes, you puff your cheeks out slightly as you begin your mental preparation of meeting people. Something again, you didn’t mind but hated when it was in environments you could not control.

A knock on the door stole your attention, and you carefully pulled the mascara wand away from your face and pouted to your reflection. You were ready to go. You were doing this for Shouto, and throughout the week he had constantly reminded you that it was not going to be as horrible as you thought.

Walking to the knocking door, you opened it and came face to face with a newcomer.

Well, not a newcomer, it was the driver that Shouto had for work, and the confusion on your face was easily detectable by the driver.

“Todoroki-sama requested I come pick you up, y/l/n-sama, if you are ready it is best that we depart soon.” He said bowing at you in greeting. Returning the action you dumbly nodded, feeling bothered at the fact that Shouto was not even picking you up for his work event.

Throughout the relatively silent car ride, your eyes focused on your phone where you were texting Shouto, who was not responding.

Your eyes focused on the nearing building as the signal of the car echoed throughout the space, “And you can’t tell me anything?” You repeated for the nth time, your discomfort starting to bleed through your composure. “I just don’t think Shouto would make me arrive by myself.”

You watched as the driver stepped out of the door, and made his way around and opened your door. “I’m sorry, y/l/n-sama, but I can’t say anything. But let me escort you to the elevator, Todoroki-sama is expecting you up on the top floor.”

You followed complicity, a small frown on your face from the secretive vibe that was happening, and the fact that there were so many people gathered outside of Shouto’s business. Why did he have to be so skilled at his job?

You stood in the elevator, alone, and tried to relax as the instrumental music of the elevator seemed to be weakened through the sound of the machine working. The doors finally opened at the top floor, and you stepped out, your stomach tied into a knot at the possibility of crowds of people being here.

However, when you stepped out, you were shocked to find the room completely empty. Decorations were set up, but they were entirely intimate to you and Shouto. Colored streamers went around the room, a table entirely decorated for a fancy feast, a small dance floor, a mat that was filled with countless amounts of pillows and blankets, another table that held so many of your favorite snacks and desserts, and standing next to a projector with reeling photos and videos of the two of you was your boyfriend, Shouto.

“Happy late anniversary.” His voice seemed to echo from across the room as you watched him walk over to you, a single y/f/f in his hand.

Then the overall spirit of the event slammed into you like a truck as you began crying, tears rolling down your cheeks as you stood there. You sank to your knees as Shouto came crouching to your side, his hands around you instantly.

“I-I’m sorry,” He stutters obviously unsure of what he did wrong, “I missed our two years because of work, and Fuyumi said this was a great way to make it up. Was it because I lied about it being a business event? I just didn’t know how to–”

You threw your arms around him, and Shouto lost his balance as the two of you fell to the ground. The cries leaving your lips now mixing with uncontrollable happiness.

“I love it, all of it.” You cry into Shouto’s chest and you feel his hand rubbing up and down your back. “I love you, so, so much.”

A kiss placed upon the crown of your head made your heart soar, and you heard him whisper back, “And I love you, so, so much more.”

and that’s it, im sorry my last few posts have been utter crap, but i really need to make a new schedule in terms of posting because i really do enjoy writing for you guys, and i dont want to be posting…ugly stories especially because all you cuties are requesting them and i dont wanna do you dirty. also sorry if i didn’t capture the essence of what you wanted, i was so at a lost of where to direct this, but the lovely @dvoz-writes helped me out with this idea, and she writes amazing things too!!! so yes thank her for me!!!! until next time

#todoroki shouto #todoroki shoto x reader #todoroki x reader #bnha writing blog #bnha #bnha x reader #bnha todoroki #bnha scenarios #todoroki scenario #todoroki fluff #mha x reader #mha #mha imagines #mha todoroki

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freewheelshippin · 4 years

Text

30 utapri questions!

Thanks @dekiaibadchoices for the tag, this was an awesome way to wind down after a ton of nonstop busy busy busy!!! (and thanks for tagging this blog vs the general utapri one so i can REALLY gush LOL) Here’s the OG meme!

1. Your best boy?

BANANAMAN RAN WHO ELSE

2. Your least favorite boy?

“least favorite” implies dislike which...not true! truthfully it’s much of HEAVENS by nature of ‘I haven’t spent as much time getting to know these characters so I don’t really know who they are.’ (though I already know I love to go for drinks and snacks with Van hehe) i do like all of HEAVENS quite a bit from what i’ve seen so far but that affection has not had time to ripen!

3. A character that you never thought you would love as much as you do now?

mnmnj ranran tbh

4. A character you can relate to in any way?

I can’t answer everything with Ranmaru but like. His ambition, straightforwardness, and how the soul and spirit of music motivate him to move forward beyond a tough past are things I same hat so much ;; But HONESTLY I also relate a lot to Masa and Tokiya, especially in their moments of self-doubt and dramatic commitment to to their art?

5. A character that you think deserves more love?

Oh, Cecil, without a doubt. He’s such a resilient, committed, and open-hearted cutie and gets really shafted by canon tbh. Which makes it harder for everyone to see what a great boy this sweetie is! But I appreciate how Shining Live has given him some room to have really cute and standout moments so everyone can love him more but okay like, give me more Ceci and Ran palling around I love him most when they’re up to shenanigans

6. A character you would want as your partner?

well we’re posting this fuckin here so you all fuckin know (im very embarrass rn i can barely say it lmao)

(for the record i would also very much like to be friends with reiji and syo, they are cool people i think i’d get along with! and i know myself, if i knew otoya or masato IRL i’d just be like ‘well. that’s my son now’ and basically appoint myself their tough big sis-type-friend lookin out for them lol)

7. A character you would want as your mentor/senpai?

I would swallow a pinecone before I called him ‘onii-san’ but teach me how to network kotobuki-senpai

(No, like, forreal, I suck so, so bad at a ton of stuff Reiji is aces at, and I respect the hell out of his *waves* general everything and skilll navigating the industry. Since I’m a goofy, jokey, overenthusiastic teacher for work a lot it’d be nice to be on the receiving end of all that energy! and be a fucking decent kouhai that isn’t so horribly unappreciative of all his hard work and good cheer )

8. Your favorite ship?

shut your whore mouth i dont have the marbles to write it out

(tbh it’s also Haru/Tomo, I just feel so much more romantic chemistry between those two than Haru and any of the boys u___u Friends’ selfship stuff goes without saying, haha, and ngl I’m kind of About a Ren/Van rivalry hatemance? can i call it a kismesis thing? it’s a kismesis thing.)

(actually no I think I’m just a member of the “Ren Fucks and sometimes it’s Hatesex” club)

9. A character that you want to cosplay/have already cosplayed?

I had plans to cosplay Ranmaru a couple months ago bc it’s really not much of a stretch for my wardrobe, haha, but I dunno about that anymore! Part of it was wanting the Euphoria of looking like a tough, twunky, princely anime character but tbqh I’m already that every day of my life so

I suppose if you were to pull my leg I’d go for cosplaying Van, mostly because I wanna try that mullet on for myself.

10. Favorite side character?

TOMO!! LOVE U BITCH WHEN WILL I HEAR U SINGGGGGG

11. Your favorite solo song?

god this is horrible how can I decide??? so many good ones??? I think it’s a draw between Top Star Revolution, No. 1, Brand New Melody, Wild Soul, Seien Brave Heart, and Junketsu Nara Ai ~Aspiration~ ???

12. Your favorite duet song?

HMMMMM again too many good ones. Three-way tie between Haru Hana, NorthWind and SunShine, and Original Resonance!

13. Your favorite trio song?

Ahhh Dream More than Love is really nostalgic bc it’s the first Utapri song I really loved, but i gotta be real. It’s just Egoistic. There’s just no getting better than Egoistic

14. Your favorite group song?

mmmm i’m be basic. Poison Kiss

15. Your least favorite song?

I love Ai and Shouta Aoi’s incredible voice but......I’m really not a fan of super slow, overly-saccharine songs. u__u so A.I. really, really doesn’t land with me, much less so than easygoing (like Knocking on the Mind) or somber (like Winter Blossom) songs.

16. Your favorite singer?

ranran...it’s always ranran...

(I do also adore Natsuki’s and Camus’s voices! I tend to like deeper, richer vocal qualities, but you just can’t beat Ranmaru’s subtle growls and high-energy rock!!!! <3)

17. Your favorite group/trio/duo?

god what combo of these idiots DONT i love? I could watch Reiji prank and tease Ranmaru all fuckin day, and I also really like it when Ran’s at his most ‘tuff big bro-y’ with, like, Ai, Otoya, and Cecil!!! but honestly I do like how the Ran/Masa/Ren trio isn’t so straightforward and is more or less held together by a thin string of professionalism, there’s something i appreciate about not forcing ppl to just bury the hatchet and be Perfect Friends but you all can still care about each other? (Ranmaru needs to be nicer to them still but...)

i need to suggest one that isn’t ranmaru centric fjdsioafjsa i fuckin love Soccer Buds (otosyo) and I loooooove it when Otoya and Cecil are good to each other!!!

18. Your favorite member of Starish?

they’re all my favorite but if you REALLY had to make me pick.....Masato, probably, haha. I just...if you take yourself too seriously and care so much about everything but still know how to be Nasty how can I not love you???

19. Your favorite member of Quartet Night?

what do you fuckin think, hoss

20. Your favorite member of Heavens?

I mentioned earlier I don’t really know Heavens well, so ofc this is all liable to change! But off the bat I love what a conniving yet wholesome bastard Eiichi is and Van is just the kinda guy I would rib and pal around with IRL!!

21. Your favorite seiyuu/voice actor?

Ahhh that’s tough! I love all these goofbags, and Tattsun really is just so cool and makes music I’m pretty about. But I think I gotta give it to Suwabe, his performances are always so him but still pretty varied, and how can you not adore a man who loves his chihuahuas that much???

(if i’m being 100% honest Tattsun lost points bc he voices my absolute least favorite character in granblue ffjsfjisda)

22. Favorite Drama CD?

HMMMMMMM see as a certified Giant Tool for Everything Mecha and silly and extra, I enjoyed the hell out of Polaris, but it really suffers from a lack of Ranmaru in my humble fuckin opinion lmao. So even though I’m not one for pirate stuff most of the time, I gotta give it to Pirates of the Frontier!! I really loved Ranmaru and Otoya’s dynamic in that one, and Camus was juuuuust the right amount of shitheel, too.

I haven’t heard the whole thing but that thing from Egoistic where Natsuki squeezes Ranmaru to death and Eiichi’s just like ‘WUAHAHAHAHAH’ is also the mcfuckin best.

23. Your favorite shining live card?

CAN’T PICK

HOW COULD I POSSIBLY PICK?????????? LIKE??? I love the fucking dumb, dumb, dumb ostentatiousness of Evil Villains, I LOVE a good heel, and I also worked so so hard to t1 that event and had a lot of fun doing it!! But also, I just love his big smile and all the energy and mixed prints from Fortune and Prosperity, and it was literally the first time I ever got the exact card I was rolling for in a gacha on the last pull I had left!! (He also came home during a time I was really going through some shit, and ngl it rescued me a little bit!) but AHHHH Soulful Bass also came out right around my birthday, I love all the textures in the outfit and it’s generally the most My Aesthetique thing Utapri has ever released!!! And god, I just love it when he’s so confident and in his element like this, it sets me on FIRE to see him light up the stage wurghjgfj ;___; They all make me just want to HUG SO MUCH ARGGHHHHH

24. Your favorite song beatmap?

Ahhh I think Shining Live really has great beatmaps across the board so that’s a tough pick! Almost all of them are super fun in their own way, but I think I gotta hand it to Wild Soul, Top Star Revolution, and Innocent Wind!

25. Your least favorite song beatmap?

A.I. u__u Sorry, Ai...it’s just not fun for me.

26. Black Deja Vu or White Gravity?

Actually I’m really glad for this question bc I’ve been so busy lately I hadn’t given myself the time to really check them out! checking .........

and yep. Black Deja Vu. (I mean...Ranmaru is on it, haha.) But I’m so about this. Love this heavier sound and all these harmonies, this is so juicy. (White Gravity also absolutely kicks ass though!! I’m really liking that voice group, it’s making especially good use of those higher registers!)

27. Utapri merch that you own/want?

Honestly I don’t have much u__u Not a lot of Utapri merch is my thing...you know? I’m mostly shopping for Ran merch if I’m getting any, but I’m very picky about how he gets drawn? Keeping his toughness and a particular clothing style about him is so essential, haha, and barely anything hits that sweet spot for me. But I will say I adored the whole ‘My Favorite Things’ series, and if I had the budget and space atm I’d love to get some of the Ran goodies from that line!

28. How did you get into Utapri?

I first heard about it through some acquaintances from cosplay before Quartet Night was a thing. It didn’t appeal enough to my heavy metal ass to make me drop everything and try it, but I did have an interest in it I couldn’t explain and I’d always intended on trying it out. (especially after I got into Love Live and idol anime for a bit.) But it was Shining Live that got me! And I really only downloaded Shining Live because I was super exhausted after a business trip, didn’t want to leave bed once I got back home, and just wanted to sink my teeth in something new I could enjoy for hours while lying down, haha.

29. A set theme in shining live that you want to see in the future?

This will surprise nobody, but something tougher. More rock, more punk, more metal. I want all of them in studs and spikes and leather, and I want less polish. More rough!

I’d also love a wrestler set complete with who’s-a-heel-who’s-a-face but that’s a pipe dream and a half, lmao.

30. Why do you love your best boy?

Oh boy.

I think he’s this powerhouse of a human bean who can face a ton of pain and meet it with a big middle finger. And that middle finger is chasing after ambitious dreams, of spreading the power and soul of the same music that made me who I am and influences so much of my work, but also being ... you know, smart about it? He’s an idol because like, sure, maybe it’s not the OG dream, but you can’t dream if you’re dead, and you also deserve to give yourself a life and platform to share some of who you are, and you can do a lot of good with that, too. (And I won’t lie, I respect the drama of a man who takes his hair that seriously and commits so hard to the aesthetic he wears fuckin mismatched contacts i just. charm point )

But at the same time....I don’t know, this might sound presumptuous, but. I think. I just think he’d think I’m as neat as I think he is. I’m an ambitious, passionate person, too, and I also furiously stick to my ideals, and I also love the same kind of soul of music he does. I lean a little more metal than I do rock, but I think that’s nice, like sharing it has that ‘alike but different’ kind of familiarity and novelty all at once. Sometimes it’s tough sharing just how deeply rock and metal have sculpted me and my artwork (and therefore my career), bc it’s so deeply personal to me, and sometimes there’s weird elitism/misogyny/racism to deal with, too. But. The way he talks about rock, the way he describes the passion and how it transcends identity and is just a pure rush of power and sharing your feelings..................it just feels like he Gets it the same way I do. Just that unspoken, burning passion and understanding. I know it sounds weird to feel that strongly over just a music genre, but I just vibe with how to him, it really isn’t ‘just’ a music genre. I feel more accepting of myself for it, and I’d like to think he’d be real proud of himself for that.

And listen, like....I’m very sentimental, but I really don’t like saccharine, flowery, romantic kinds of affection to be lavished on me. Just be straightforward but also a little tsun about it fjdsjfas and ..... those are the kind of feelings I can accept. And that’s the way Ranmaru is, and it’s also grounded in the kind of reality that I don’t like to be swept away from. He’s just so cool and hardworking and unwavering in his passion, it makes it easier for me to do the same despite all the bumps in the road. This got real long but Ran’s a cool dude, haha, I got a lot of positives to say.

Anyways, I never tag folks for these things, but I love seeing everyone’s answers! If you see this and wanna fill it, feel free to count this as a tag from me :) I know this got real long, but with 30 questions how could it not haha? Thanks for reading and sticking around!

#iron maiden & rocka rolla #memery #long post

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two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat · 4 years

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CW: transphobia, homophobia. Also pretty long and I'm on mobile so I cant put a read more thing on it.

Ok so this is kind of a personal post so if you don't wanna hear about some of my personal drama, just scroll along. But I feel like I need to get this shit on record somewhere since I don't have the screenshots of the texts this is concerning anymore.

So a little over a year ago, I told the person who'd been my best friend, we'll call her E, since I was about 9 that I didnt want to be friends with her anymore. More on that later.

Back in senior year of high school I started thinking I might be Bi. I brought this up to E and she was super dismissive right off that bat. Saying that I wasnt, sounding like she was trying to console me. Like being Bi was this awful thing that I needed to worry about.

Well fast forward about a year and a half and I went up to my college with her so I could do new student orientation since I was starting the next semester. This is when the fact that I was Bi sort of smacked me in the face because the girl doing my orientation was super hot. I immediately knew I wouldnt be telling E that.

Fast forward to march of 2017. Its spring break. I've reconnected with my high school friends. I've never felt the need to hide my sexuality from them and they were instantly nothing but supportive of me. We never really hung out outside of school back in high school (or in elementary school either in Eric's case.) I start realizing that I've been having more fun with them then I ever did with E. And I finally had people to geek out about sciencey stuff with because E doesnt believe in science but eric LOVES science. It was nice.

Well a couple weeks after spring break me and Es mutual friend Althea asked me to drive her to the shelter so she could get her boyfriends cat fixed (it's way cheaper there then at the vet) and spent the day hanging out with her because she WAS planning to walk back there to pick up the cat afterwards and I was like "uh no. I'm not gonna make you walk across town by yourself." So I finally got to meet her boyfriend. Well that afternoon E came and picked me up to go up to the KU campus to get some more bus passes to go to our college in KC because our school was out of bus passes and didnt know when theyd get more.

Here's when I kinda started to realize I should maybe get out of this friendship. On the way to campus E starts telling me about her day at school and how "theres a girl that used to be a guy in one of my teachers other classes. It's making me uncomfortable."

Me: "that sounds like a you problem, E."

Now I knew she kind of thought that way already. She may not have said shit like that around our other friends but I had to hear it a lot. But because I'm pretty nonconfrontational and she was my only close friend outside of school and I was terrified of being alone, I usually just ignored it or politely debated her about it but generally just agreed to disagree. This was the first time I ever decided to speak up to her about it. Unfortunately I couldnt say much cuz her mom was the one driving us and i knew she agreed with everything E said.

But I'd been hanging out with althea and her boyfriend (who just so happened to be trans) all morning so suddenly having to hear E talk about how uncomfortable trans people make her got me more fired up than usual.

After this I slowly started distancing myself from her. I'd been hoping for a few years that she'd grow up and accept that not everyone is like her and try to be more open minded and accepting of people. Apparently that wasnt happening.

I stopped responding to her texts as often. I was trying to think of a way to talk to her about it but all my past friendships that fell apart, did so naturally and on a silent mutual agreement. So I was half hoping that would happen. Pretty stupid. Dont recommend. Just be straight with people.

After a few months of me only answering her texts every once in a while, she decided to start calling me multiple times a week. Often while I was at work. Sometimes from her mom and sisters phones when I wouldnt answer from her number. Idk y she thought that would work. She knows I hate talking on the phone.

I still didnt know what to say to her. I probably should've just told her I needed some space and she might've backed off for awhile so I could figure it out. But subway stressed me tf out. And i have no idea how you're supposed to end a relationship with your best friend of over 10 years.

(Also some of my other reasons for not wanting to be friends with her were specifically because of althea and I didnt want althea to get dragged into it. Unfortunately it ended up happening anyways. But basically back in highschool, if we were planning for all four of us (me, e, althea, and nikki) to get together, and nikki would have something come up, E would tell althea our get together was cancelled but would still have me come over and then made me promise not to say anything to althea about it.)

Around march or april of last year I blocked her family's numbers. This is when they started showing up at my work. The first time it happened I had a long ass line and was helping my coworker get through it before I left. Her sister came in by herself and just asked how I was doing but left pretty quick after she got her sandwich since it was busy. A couple more times they came and just parked outside like they were waiting for me to get off my shift but ended up leaving. The last time it happened E came in while I was there alone and I really didnt wanna have THAT conversation while i was at work alone and her crazy overprotective mom was out in the car waiting for her. So i made her sandwich very quickly so i could get her out as fast as I could.

I was planning on finally talking to her around the end of april but was still having trouble figuring out what to say.

Unfortunately any plan I had to let her down easy was sort of thrown out the window on may 13th of last year.

My mom texted me that morning about how she got a weird call from Es aunt. On her work phone. This is basically how that call went:

"IS THIS OLIVIAS MOM?????"

My mom, suddenly worried it's my work and something happened to me, "Yes?"

"Why isnt olivia talking to E anymore?"

"............I dont know."

So that kind of crossed a line for me. It really freaked my mom out.

I'm bad at articulating my thoughts when I'm mad or stressed out tho. So my friend Alice ended up writing out the text for me and I read through it to make sure it was ok.

Basically it said "I'm sorry but I dont think we can be friends anymore. The way you talk about the LGBT+ community makes me extremely uncomfortable, especially seeing as I am bisexual and have several friends in the community. The way you used to exclude althea from hanging out with us because you think shes annoying and then expect me to lie to her about it makes me uncomfortable. It was inappropriate to show up at my work unannounced to corner me into talking to you when I needed space. And it was even more inappropriate for your relatives to call my mom at work. I'm sorry I didnt say something sooner but I'm tired of pretending I'm ok with everything you've said over the years."

Then her mom texts me. I dont remember all of it but the gist was "you're a horrible person. E never judged you or anyone else (sure, miss "gay people are gross. I can see how conversion therapy might work." Totally isnt judging anyone and 100% cares about the lgbt+ community.) The only reason she did those things is because she was worried about you."

Then E left me a voicemail that I couldnt understand at all cuz she was crying and I felt terrible even tho everyone was telling me I shouldn't. Now I probably should've taken out the part about althea because it effectively threw my "not wanting to get althea involved" plan out the window. Honestly what really pissed me off about this next part both made me pissed at E but also at myself. E removed herself from the group chat I had with her, nikki, and althea. Blocked althea on Facebook and blocked her number. Didnt bother to explain why. I still feel terrible about this even tho althea has told me many times that it's fine and if she'd had to pick a side she wouldve picked mine. But I still felt like she at least deserved an explanation.

Alice told me to screenshot the texts. I almost didn't cuz I just wanted to forget about all this. But I did.

Anyways life moved on. Eric got a new phone and gave me his beat up galaxy s7. I stuck my s6 into a drawer and let it die and forgot about it.

Then on new years I got a call from althea. Not weird at all. She calls me every major holiday and birthday. Shes done this every year since junior year of high school.

Normal phone call at first. But then she says that her mom has been talking to E's mom. Apparently E's mom told altheas mom that I told E that althea hates her and thinks shes a terrible person and that's why E hasnt been talking to althea. Althea of course didnt believe that but wanted me know about it. This prompted me to try and charge up my old phone and get the screenshots off of it. I had it plugged in for a couple of days and it never turned back on. So that's out apparently.

That's also why I felt the need to get all of this written down. It may not be as great as having the actual screenshots but I'm bad at articulating my thoughts when confronted so I want to have something written down in case any of this comes up again.

#cw: transphobia #cw: homophobia #i needed to get this out while i could actually put it into words #this is the first time in a while that i actually can #personal #homophobia #transphobia #i never post stuff like this so hopefully im tagging it right

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dancing-with-dichotomies · 4 years

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“Lone Pearl Cowgirl” Ch5 update/Important mentions

I've been feeling... Pretty super horribly awful down lately, like bottom of the bottom... Been fighting several things at once. A persistant seasonal depression, probably. My massive damn writing block that's haunted every single thing I've tried to write all this damn year, and part of the last too. My damned body that just Won't. Stop. Hurting. EVER...

And my abusive family, my family that is literally in a damn cult, my family that "lowkey" supported the second-coming of the worst kinds of evil, even though not a small portion of our family once escaped that... Them holding me down, manipulating me knowing I am disabled, isolating me all my life and using me...And I can only hope that being able to live away from them won't just be a dream when I'm disabled but can't get disability, live in one of the priciest damned states in the country, and my parents keep sabotaging me and using me and manipulating me. I've tried to claw myself away from them. It hurts to keep seeing them selfishly sabotage me and having others judge me. So much of my life hurts, but especially lately, around winter, around my birthday... And they always actively dunk on me harder around my birthday...

That, plus my pain increasing, and... and, and, and... Well, you probably already get it if yer one of the ones who even really cared, so I won't go on if yer not, but...

Anyways I feel like it so I wanna tell the people who REALLY helped me to survive what was one of the worst bouts of depression I've had in years, even knowing I generally get depressed periodically... You guys are really the ones who made a difference this time and you should know it.

crappy-crapolice -- Change yer nickname already, Crappy. Yer the awesomest. XP XD Really dude, most of the time we just BS and have fun with various fandom shit, but you've seen me at my lowest points not just once but a few times, seen me get paranoid and doubt you a few times, but you've always been so patient and amazing about reminding me that it's my mental illness making me think/believe those things. And you've always been so great at reminding me when I need those reminders, but without judging me or shaming me. You've been so nice about really listening to my issues and realizing how many struggles I face that the average person doesn't, how I get way less help, way more demands, and way more obstruction than the average person, and you've showed me real sympathy instead of the usual "get over it already, nobody cares about what happened in your past only that you can contribute in the present" or "I'm sorry that happened to you, but also this bores me, can't we just talk about nice things 24-7..." type 'sympathy' most people settle for all too quickly... You've been the one to remind me of my own limitations when most people don't even want to hear about it, won't even let me finish before they judge me. Most just settle for assuming that someone in a bad position must deserve it. That they're not working hard enough or something. You're one of the few that really understood... Because you're one of the few who really listened long enough and didn't just blow me off or dismiss me. You treated me like I'm still a normal human being even when I've been in the midst of going kinda crazy from the stress, and that's what's managed to bring me back sometimes... Also, I hardly ever even TALK about the fandom we started out in anymore, I actually kinda dislike that fandom more than not after it all was over with, and you've still treated me like a friend. A lot of people would just drift away if you weren't interested in their fandom anymore. But you care about not just my other fandom interests too, but my original work. That really means a lot to me, NOT-Crappy. Thanks, dude. <3

Iris - People like you give me hope for the future. You work so incredibly hard for such a selfless cause. People even really mistreat doctors where you're from, and you're still determined to make it your life mission to heal and save and educate as many people as you can. Of course like I've told you to, you need to remember to make time for yourself! But I'm so incredibly grateful you've made time for me too... Again, we fandom BS a lot, but we also talk about the heavy stuff too, and I wanna let you know I appreciate it, that it helps make it feel lighter about it overall and I hope you do too. You always really listen and talk with me, have answered questions I've had, and are concerned about how I'm really feeling, instead of just rushing to cover up my troubles. It's doubly impressive that you manage to be so patient when you work so long and so hard. I have some pretty bad issues with feelings of being abandoned and "disappeared", so I really especially appreciate you talking me through that. It's also super impressive to me that despite us having a couple times where we both kinda unintentionally offended the other saying things that didnt quite come out right over the keyboard, that we managed to talk to each other about how we felt about it and clarify that no harm was meant. I know you're really busy and sometimes a while goes by where we don't talk, and even still it's easy to trust that you wouldn't just disappear on me, and that you'd really care if I truly disappeared too... I just want you to know. You're not just a My Hero-fan, you're a legit real life hero to me and I know to a lot of other people too. <3 <3

closet-cryptid/Michelle - We sometimes go a while without talking nowadays, I know we both know how hard it is with a little one, and that yer net sometimes goes in and out. But again, yer one of those friends I trust enough that it doesn't matter. It actually amazes me even more because there was a time where we had a pretty big disagreement to say the least, and both said some pretty harsh things. I was fully prepared to burn our bridge of friendship, but to my deep surprise, you actually apologized some time later, and I did too, and I feel like we're better friends for it now. And again, yer one of those people who don't just try to cover up troubles with fandom. We have our fun fandom discussions, but you've always been really willing to listen and really be sympathetic when I need to be sad too, you care about the real me and not just the me that made content for the fandom, and that's why we're still around to still putz about the fandom junk too. IZ FOREVER! XD (and I hope you and your sisters feel better too <3)

csp124 - Yer a newer friend, but yanno, you've proven to be a good one. Again, we can putz about fandom junk or other fun stuff, but you've been truly understanding about allowing me to talk about the bad junk that's been worrying my mind so much lately. You've been really helpful especially lately because you didn't just give up on me because my illness wouldn't let me stop "being negative" for a while, as some people reduce it to. Even though I didn't want to look on the bright side for a while, you kept bringing it up to me. It took a while, others gave up on me and got frustrated or angry with me, but you're one of the ones who kept being positive when you knew I -couldn't-, not that I just -wouldn't-, and understanding of my darkness too...

unified-multiversal-theory - Everybody here has helped me along a lot in various ways this year, but you've shown a special interest in my original work especially that really helped give me the inspiration I needed to get this latest chapter done. I feel so proud and relieved to have gotten chapter five finally done, and have more hope than I have in a while that the rest might be possible too. It's really deeply disheartening, a whole new level of isolation and depression, when so many people time and again, even other creators you'd hope would get it or at LEAST encourage you a LITTLE instead of being overly critical, especially those that get heaped with praise themselves, either ignore you completely/never give you a chance or even tear your creations down, claiming that they're trying to be "helpful/constructive". It's not that I can't handle constructive criticism, but I can recognize my characters being torn down by someone who is being overly critical because they dont really care one whiff about my work and REAL, ACTUAL -constructive- criticism like the kind you gave me, where you actually found a few errors that, while it depressed me for a moment to realize I had forgotten something so silly and needed to rewrite almost a while page because of it lol, IT ACTUALLY HELPED ME FINALLY FINISH THE DANG CHAPTER INSTEAD OF PARALYZING ME WITH DEPRESSION AND FEAR ABOUT MY ENTIRE WORK. You actually discussed my ideas and plot in detail and that's been so incredibly helpful. I know like Iris yer busy, so I wanted to say thank you for taking the time to help me with this especially. This work means more than a lot to me, a lot of people just blow it off like a silly story but it's SO much more than that. Helping me with this has really improved my outlook on life lately. I know everyone knows I love and live for my daughter, that she's the reason I keep existing... But she's not the reason I was made to exist in the first place. I feel like this story and her sister-stories are. Sometimes I confuse it because everything is confusing in this world, and because there's a sea of people who think the crazy shit Christians and Muslims and men in general do makes sense but somehow I'M the really crazy one, but... Just, thanks. I just feel a lot saner now that I made progress on something that means so much to me, and to know there's at least a few people out there who also really take interest in and appreciate it. <3

itsmorethanjustafantasy - We actually don't talk too much at all lol, here and there we talk a bit about fandom, but yanno... I just wanted to mention again how nice I think you are for sending people holiday well-wishes. Growing up with 90+% of my family in the Jehovah's Witnesses cult, and because of how sick I was growing up, my birthday and other holidays were especially hard times for me. Always on the outside looking in. Trained to tell other people it didn't matter and reject any holiday wishes or gifts given to my face when they were around, but deep down always feeling so lonely and isolated and excluded. You're one of those people who just out of the blue wishes people well on the holidays. For most people it's probably just nice. I just wanted you to know it did a little more for me though. It was nice to do for me, but it also made me feel included, and like someone remembered me. Thank u for that. Belated Happy Halloween, and upcoming Merry Christmas!

In general, there were a few other people that popped in when I was temporarily mad with grief and pain and helped talk to me about the rough stuff, bookrebelwordwarrior, kendallandherstuff, and a handful of others, sorry if it's been a while and I forgot anyone specific, but yeah. To everyone who really helped me and and didn't just give up on me, who not just remembered the good in me, but helped me to eventually see it again too, and help that goodness actually -grow-... Help bring out what -I- feel is really the best of me, not what others want me to be... Thank you. I can't say I'll never be depressed again, I've seen too much and there's so much stacked against me, but I'll try my best to keep trying, to keep believing progress is possible even when it feels like your life is currently stagnant and there's an ocean of people who don't care if you die or that you even ever existed. It's sad that there's so few, but life is just barely bearable when people really show they care. <3

So, consider this latest chapter of Lone Pearl, "Faithful Phil and the Martyred Mother", dedicated to you guys. <3

https://archiveofourown.org/works/20041537/chapters/51013765

#writing #original work #original writing #space western #sci fi #western

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hi-its-namjin-anon · 5 years

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Get Some Rest

Jin woke up early in the morning to a pounding headache and nausea practically overwhelming him. He clambered out of his bed and hurried into the bathroom, every step making his head throb. He’d barely dropped to his knees in front of the toilet when a thick, foul-tasting wave of bile forced its way up his throat. He gagged and retched, cringing at the sound of vomit splashing into the water. It was all he could do to keep the sounds he made fairly quiet so he didn’t wake the other boys. He kept throwing up, unable to stop no matter how hard he tried to hold it back, and he desperately hoped nobody else was awake. He had to be strong for them. He couldn’t be sick. Finally, after what felt like forever, it was over, and Jin drew a shaky breath and rested his forehead on the toilet seat. Tears were running down his face and his whole body was shaky and weak and his throat was burning and he just felt awful. After a moment, he pushed himself to his feet, nearly threw up again when he saw how utterly disgusting all the vomit looked, and then, after taking a moment to steady himself, he cleaned up and shuffled back to bed. His head still hurt, but he managed to fall asleep. “Jin-hyung,” a voice said, dragging him out of his slumber a few hours later. Jin groaned and blinked his eyes open to see Yoongi standing over him. He still felt like shit, but at least his headache had gone away. “Hi, Yoon,” Jin mumbled. “Go away. I wanna sleep more.” “No, hyung, you have to get up,” Yoongi said. “Busy day today, remember? We have dance practice and then-” “Oh, yeah.” Jin really didn’t want to do anything active, especially not first thing in the morning, but he didn’t have a choice. The group’s schedule was busy whether he liked it or not. He decided to just tough it out. He’d be okay. “Yeah. Come on, time to get up.” “Okay, okay.” Yoongi left the room, and Jin tried to muster up the strength to get out of bed. He ended up closing his eyes again, and the next thing he knew Namjoon was there, shaking him awake. “Jinnie,” the younger man said. “Come on, you need to get up. We’re gonna be late. Wake up.” He tugged Jin’s covers off and pulled him up into a sitting position. Jin groaned and wrapped his arms around Namjoon’s waist, burying his face in his boyfriend’s stomach. “I don’t wanna do stuff,” he mumbled. “I didn’t sleep well last night. What time did I go to sleep? One? I’m not sure. And then I woke up again and-” He broke off, remembering that he didn’t want to mention that he was sick. “Yeah. I’m tired.” “Aw, baby, were you practicing late again?” “Yeah.” “Well, there’s nothing you can do about it now, but tonight I’ll be sure to hold you and make sure you get enough sleep. You’ll feel better once you’re up and moving around, too. And then when we get home we can take a nap, alright?” He ruffled Jin’s hair affectionately. “For now you’ve gotta get up, though.” “Alright. I’ll get up.” And he actually did get up that time. The sick feeling in his stomach didn’t go away, and neither did the exhaustion that had settled itself over him like a weighted blanket. But he got ready and didn’t complain, even though the car ride was hell and he felt awful. If Jin thought the car ride was bad, dance practice was even worse. Every motion made his stomach churn and he was still so exhausted. He had gotten away with skipping breakfast by just pretending he’d had something, but he still felt sick. “Can we pause?” He asked after what felt like hours but was really only around thirty minutes. “I need to go to the bathroom.” “Yeah,” the instructor replied. “Go ahead.” Jin thanked him and left the room, and as soon as he was out he ran down the hall to the bathroom. He felt like he needed to throw up again. He collapsed halfway there, though, crumpling to the floor as his legs gave out. He stayed there for a minute, savoring the cool tile, and then he got up again and made his way - walking this time - into the bathroom. He locked the door and sat down in front of the toilet wanting to just get it over with, but nothing came up. He heaved a few times, but nothing happened. He just felt nauseous, he realized. He splashed some water from the sink on his face and returned to the practice room, and they resumed their rigorous dancing. After an hour, they had another break, and not a moment too soon, because Jin could already feel the nausea rising again. He hurried off to the bathroom, but Yoongi beat him to it. Desperate, he raced off and found an empty room, where he threw up in a trash can. Then he leaned back, gasping for breath, and wiped away his tears. He couldn’t get rid of the horrible taste in his mouth, but at least he looked okay and wasn’t about to puke in the middle of whatever choreography they’d be going over next. With a sigh, he hauled himself to his feet and returned to the practice room. “Jin,” Taehyung said. “Here, have some water. You look thirsty.” He held out a bottle of water, and Jin realized just how dehydrated he was, especially after vomiting twice. He hadn’t had anything to drink since the first round of sickness that morning. He gratefully accepted the water and downed it all at once. It made his stomach churn and gurgle unhappily, but he needed to stay hydrated. He made it through another hour of dance practice, although he felt like his legs would give out at any moment and the headache from that night was starting to return alongside the ever-present queasiness. As soon as they had another break, he headed for the bathroom again, but as he approached the door of the practice room he started to feel even weaker than before. Dizziness took over, and it took all his strength to keep from stumbling too obviously as he left the room. Once he was out in the hall, though, the dizziness suddenly increased tenfold, and the next thing Jin knew he was laying facedown on the floor. His head was spinning and when he tried to push himself up into a sitting position his arms gave out. Behind him, the door to the practice room opened again and someone stepped out into the hall. “Oh my god,” he heard Namjoon gasp. “Seokjin! Seokjinnie!” The rapper was suddenly kneeling by his side, looking horrified. “Namjoon,” Jin replied weakly. Namjoon rested a hand on his forehead but then pulled it back when he realized that Jin was still hot and sweaty from dancing so it would be hard to see if he had a fever. “Jinnie, sweetie, what happened? Are you okay? Why are you on the floor?” “I was walking and then suddenly I was on the floor and now I don’t feel strong enough to get up. I’m not feeling so good today,” he admitted, swallowing his pride and ignoring his desire to not be a burden. “Can you elaborate?” Namjoon asked desperately. “Uh, yeah,” Jin replied. “It started really early this morning when I threw up the first time, and then I went to sleep and then when I woke up I still felt bad and I threw up again during our last break and I still felt bad and now here we are.” “And you didn’t tell anyone?” “I didn’t want to be a burden…” “Jinnie, you gotta tell us when you’re not feeling good,” Namjoon said. “We’ve told you, you’re not a burden. Everyone gets sick. You just need to let us know.” He ran a hand through Jin’s sweat-drenched hair. “Here, let me get you some water. I’ll be right back.” He stood and hurried back into the practice room. “Guys, Jin’s sick,” Jin heard him say. “I found him in the hall on the floor.” “Is he conscious?” Jimin asked. “Yeah. He told me this started early this morning and he’s thrown up twice. I don’t know what’s wrong but it sounds like he fainted just now.” Namjoon returned with a bottle of water in his hand. The other members and their dance instructor were following him, and they all knelt beside him. “Jungkook-ah,” Namjoon said, “run and get him a damp paper towel or something for his face. Instructor-nim, can you grab a fan? Hoseok, go let someone else know, okay? Jimin and Tae, stay here. Yoongi, go grab some more water.” Everyone hurried off to do as they were told, and Namjoon lifted the water he was holding to Jin’s lips. Jin gladly drank it, savoring the feeling of the cold liquid in his mouth. Taehyung ran a gentle hand through his hair and Jimin rubbed his back. Yoongi returned with two more bottles of water, and then he rested a cool hand on Jin’s forehead. The dance instructor came back with an electric fan. Tears started to roll down Jin’s cheeks, dripping onto the floor. “Oh, Jinnie, don’t cry,” Namjoon murmured. He gently wiped the tears away with his thumbs. “You’ll be okay.” “I’m just causing problems for y-” Jin cut himself off with a violent gag, and the next thing he knew he was coughing and practically choking on bile and water. Taehyung and Yoongi helped him prop himself up on his arms, holding him up as he heaved and retched and vomited on the floor. The dance instructor hurried off to grab a trash can, but by the time he returned Jin had already gotten everything out of his stomach. Jungkook returned with a handful of damp paper towels, and Namjoon took a couple and used them to wipe up Jin’s lips and chin. “We should get him to a hospital,” Yoongi said. “He doesn’t look so good.” “Yeah,” Namjoon agreed. “Let’s wait for Hoseok to get back and then we’ll figure everything out. Hey, hey, Jinnie, don’t cry. It’s okay. I’m here. I’ve got you.” Hoseok returned, followed by Bang PD-nim and a pair of young women Jin recognized as some of the medical staff members. Namjoon explained the situation and they quickly looked over Jin. When they couldn’t find what was wrong, they advised the group to take him to the hospital. Jin ended up sitting in the back of PD-nim’s car, cradled in Namjoon’s arms. Namjoon had him drink a few sips of water periodically so he would stay hydrated, and eventually they made it to the hospital, where it was determined that Jin was just seriously overworked, that he was so exhausted his body couldn’t function right, and that he’d be okay as long as he got some rest as soon as possible. Namjoon texted the other boys, who had stayed at the studio on the orders of the staff, and told them that everything was fine and he’d be going home with Jin. Thirty minutes later, Jin was curled up in his bed, cuddled up against Namjoon. The younger man’s arms were warm and comforting, making Jin realize just how tired he really was. His bones suddenly felt like lead, but Namjoon was there. Namjoon was helping him to feel better. “You gonna be okay, baby?” Namjoon asked, running a hand down Jin’s spine. “Yeah, I think so,” Jin replied. “I hope so.” “Good. Get some sleep now, okay? And try to limit your late-night dance practice sessions in the future.” He pulled Jin closer and started humming, and despite the fact that Jin still felt sick and tired and all-around awful, he finally drifted off into blissful unconsciousness.

#emeto #emetophilia #vomiting #fainting #sick seokjin #i'm a sucker for sick jinnie okay i'm sorry #fic uwu #namjin #exhaustion #poor jinnie

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judelaw · 5 years

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Can you tell us more about Sadie being abusive in the relationship? I honestly had no idea!

Okay, so first of all I obviously wasn’t there or know any of them personally so I can only judge the situation by what she said about their relationship. There are also a lot of gross rumours which I, just based on what I know about her, feel like are probably true but as I said they are rumours so I won’t mention them. And since Jude would never say anything bad about the mothers of his kids, we will probably never know if they are true or not anyway. I thought about actually writing an essay to get my point across but in a way it’s his privacy as well and I don’t want to go to much into detail since it’s not my business and I repsect him (not her, except for being the mother of three of his kids).

My main concern is how emotionally draining at best and emotionally abusive at worst she was “due to her depression”, for which she refused to get help for ages. Even her friends have said how ‘dark’ she would get. They also said she pretty much lured him into sexual explosive activities and drugs, he didn’t necessarily wanted to do, which sounds horrible to me but as I said I obviously wasn’t there so I don’t know what exactly she did and didn’t do.

Generally though, there seemed to have been quite a power imbalance in their relationship, starting by her giving him money to be able to buy food early on when his career hasn’t had kicked of yet (which generally is a nice thing to do of course but not really what you should base a relationship on), to her taking his playstation away to make him pay more attention to her or do whatever she wanted from him. She even called herself self-obsessed and a drama queen. They also met when he was 19 and she was a married 25-year-old mother of a two-year-old boy. I don’t necessarily have a problem with the age gap as a) it’s legal and b) Jude was really mature for his age so I get it, however she said he (who mind you didn’t make any moves on her, she was the one who hit on him) was a boy. And I kinda side-eye a 25 y/o wanting to date a boy - I’m not accusing her of pedophilia of course as Jude was far from being a child but why would you in your midtwenties want to date someone who isn’t a “man” yet. Her entire “he was a boy (who matured later on)”-thing also rubs me the wrong way as Jude said he never had a lot of confidence around women and was probably somewhat easy to manipulate and take advantage of due to his bullying history (and being financially depended on her).She also seemed to have made Jude feel useless and like another child in their relationship because that’s what he said about himself in like 2000, which based on what she and other people said wasn’t the case. I’m not even saying she must have made him feel like that on purpose, even though that probably wouldn’t be beyond her. Apparently she also had a history of being somewhat violent in previous relationships but I don’t know if it was violence against human beings or violence as in throwing a plate against the wall, which is still awful but obviously not as bad.

She complained about him being away to work a lot, apparently not realizing he was the only one of the two who earned money and therefore provided not only for them and their kids but also his stepson. And especially considering she even said he was a good dad who always spend time with the kids, it comes across as quite selfish (or jealous?) to me. Like I’d get missing him, but making him feel bad for being the only hard working part of the relationship is really ugly.

Sadie seems to be the personification of self-victimizationas she constantly needs to bring up her (postnatal) depression and how he she had to fight the “dark thoughts” of leaving her husband for Jude, who didn’t even make a move on her at that point. As if being mentally ill excuses behaving terribly towards your loved ones and falling for someone else while being in a relationship is somehow a terrible demon that possesses you (and not something that, while being not ideal, simply happens). She even completely refused to take any responsibilty for taking her 2 y/o daughter to a party while Jude was at work and completely neglecting her supervision to a point that made her toddler able to eat an Ecstasy pill.

Which also reminds me of a smaller incident where Iris was like 12 and with her mum and wore a dress that had a lot of insults on them or something, which the media picked up. And even though it was obviously Sadie’s fault for not being like “hey, maybe I shouldn’t buy and let my child run around in clothing that has ‘cunt’ written all over it’, it was Jude who had to personally call the newspaper who wanted to publish the “the story”, asking them to respect his daughter’s privacy and write something about him if they must but not about an actual child.

Furthermore, her need to publish a “biography” (as if anyone really cares, you are literally just the ex-wife of Jude Law to the public, stop using his name perhabs) is incredibly gross to me. Like, write a book about your life if you must but respect other people’s privacy. Jude had to

go to court

to stop her from exploiting their kids (by publishing stories about and a ton of pictures of them) and publish inappropiate stories about him/their relationship. I dont even wanna know what inapporpiate means in that context but perhabs consider not publishing a goddamn book that includes inappropiate stories with/about you and your ex-husband when your kids can read that as well. I mean, never do that in general but especially not when you have children with the man.And she felt so “unfairly” treated by Jude and acted like he was a mean guy who took away her favorite toy when Jude’s main concern were the children. Because unlike her, he thinks they deserve privacy in their life.

#tl;dr no matter what exactly she did i'm just glad he's out of that #reply #anon #long post #abuse

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2n2n · 6 years

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dudeeee not only is your art nice, i really love your insights on characters' various arcs. i love and respect it!! i wonder if you could rate every season of at out of ten (ten being highest)?? if its not too much? season 3 and 8 are my personal favs

ah thank you ^^ I wish I was drawing more lately, but I’ve actually been staying with @2finns and other friends for about a month and am pretty distracted, so I hope the asks are at least engaging/interesting in the absence of art -w-

I’ll do my best, HM. The best way I thought to process this was listing my fav & least favs of each season. I put stars next to my Most Favs from this season!

I fucking love s1 and have a lot of nostalgia AND it’s flat out.... there’s no. HORRIBLE episodes in it-- not a single one is so bad i wouldn’t rewatch it, and 99% make me laugh and feel joy to remember. My fav eps this season just make me laugh so hard. I adore. So 10/10

s1: fav epsTree TrunksThe Jiggler**Ricardio the Heart GuyEvictedCity of ThievesOcean of Fear**HenchmanDungeon**Rainy Day Daydreamworst: Business Time, Donny

s2 has a Little more.... depth leaking into it, but is still so campy and silly and great and there’s no episode I LOATHE in it. Shenanigans and hilarious jokes abound, 10/10

s2: fav epsIt Came from the Nightosphere**Blood Under the SkinPower Animal**To Cut a Woman's HairDeath in BloomSusan StrongGo With Me**The Limit**Heat Signatureworst: Her Parents

s3 continues the ramp up to more weighty subjects, with a great balance of silly nonsense and shenanigans. Finn still screams and shrieks, but we also have feelings and crying. My least fav eps are just because they’re, boring to me. 10/10

s3: fav epsMorituri Te Salutamus**Memory of a Memory**What Was Missing**Wizard BattleBeautopiaNo One Can Hear YouJake vs Me-Mow**The New FrontierMarceline's Closet**Another WayIncendiumworst: Holly Jolly Secrets, Ghost Princess

s4 Now this is when my least favorite episodes actively make me feel tired, but they’re still pretty benign and it’s not like entire plot points are annoying me. Some of my favs are in this season, and the depth given to PB is gr8!! And funny shenanigans still go on. let’s say 10/10???? I can’ rank these first handful any lower. I DONT get more joy out of this season than s1, I adore them equally for their comedy and depth. I’m glad for the added depth and the ‘meh’ episodes aren’t bad enough to negate the great joy granted to me by the god episodes!

s4: fav epsHot to the TouchReturn to the Nightosphere;Daddy's Little Monster****Goliad**Beyond this Earthly RealmGotcha!Card WarsBurning LowWho Would WinKing Worm**Lady&Peebles**I Remember Youworst: Web Weirdos, Hug Wolf, Ignition Point

s5 somehow inexplicably starts containing some shit i hate, mostly it starts focusing too much on side characters I do not care about at all & devoting entire episodes & entire arcs wholly to them. Like, Root Beer Guy? Do kids really wanna watch a god damn episode of a cartoon about some underappreciated professional adult man with a boring life and his wife, I DON’T FUCKING CARE!!!! lemonhope is nobody to me, and I don’t care, I don’t care about Ice King and some lady island, and bad timing just makes me so frustrated because again, it doesn’t. Entertain me. You’re both devoid of background and all the characters I value and have emotional debt with ain’t there, And, HUMOR. ISN’T EVEN THERE?? If you’re gonna do some conversational introspective thoughtful shit you need to do it about Marcy or Finn or someone I care about!!! I don’t give a shit about Root Beer Guy or Banana Man or Ice King as an individual on his own. That’s mmmmme.

But I love the eps I love and there’s still a good ratio of shenanigans and silly cute and funny things. Good Finn amount. Not much Marcy this season tho? Sad. Good PB embellishment. 7/10?

s5: fav epsAll the Little People**Bad Little BoyVault of BonesA Glitch is a GlitchThe Suitor**Wizards Only, FoolsJake Suit**Dungeon Train**Red Starved**Blade of Grassthis season contains some of my absoute least fav eps ever, including lemonhope, bad timing, betty, bmo lost, the party's over isla de senorita, too old, frost & fire, we fixed a truck, root beer guy FUCK THIS EPISODE GOD

s6 Starts strong because I love Wake Up/Citadel, but again really starts Increasing with the episodes wasted on C-Listers I can’t bring myself to care about at the EXPENSE of less and less silly, goofy, fun shenanigans episodes. This season was so off the rails with stuff like giuseppe, sad face, evergreen, the diary, chips & ice cream, floaties, hoots etc etc that when Ghost Fly and Dentist happened I was SO excited and felt like it had been 100 years since I’d seen episodes like that, that is to say simple contained little adventures with Finn being silly. Ghost Fly I was just, SO happy for an ep set in the treehouse with Finn & Jake again, which says a lot!! I shouldn’t have to feel that way, they’re THE mains.... I literally don’t give a shit about the Orgalorg arc, martin, & its conclusion, AND this is REALLY when the, margles and betty shit escalates and will continue to haunt me for the rest of time as it refuses to release is talons from the series. The episodes I like are really the solemn few that focus on Finn/Jake or even fuckin’ PB. Who gets more development I enjoy, at least!

I’m honestly gonna say like 3/10 for this because few things make me more angry than Chips&Ice Cream or giuseppe or sad face (which is just a reference to another cartoon i legit have always hated, ren & stimpy) or on the lam which i wish i could burn at the stake for its uselessness to me. As much as I like SOME eps from this season, I don’t like ANY episodes AS much as I like, say, What Was Missing or even Marceline’s Closet or Jake Suit in terms of entertainment/joy.

s6: fav epsWake Up**Escape from the Citadel**The TowerFood ChainGhost Fly**Is That YouDentist**The Cooler**the Pajama WarThe VisitorWalnuts&Rain**Jermaine**the worst: sad face, breezy, the prince who wanted everything, something big, thanks for the crabapples giuseppe, Evergreen, the mountain, the diary, friends forever, chips & ice cream, hoots, you forgot your floaties, orgalorg, on the lam, hot diggity doom, the comet

s7 has Stakes!!!! and it spends so much time in Stakes with Marcy whom I love that it doesn’t have all that much TIME to even get distracted with the bullshit of s5-6. And I like the writing/handling of Stakes lots, I’m thankful Finn is so involved. Then Blank-Eyed Girl is a fun contained treehouse ep! And Hall of Egress is contained to almost exclusively Finn which is great!! Good focus!! This season doesn’t spiral too far away!! 8/10?? Because I resent you for cherry cream soda I have to dock points. More good PB development too! Wewt!

s7: fav epsBonnie&NeddyFootballStakes!!!****Blank-Eyed Girl**CrossoverThe Hall of Egress**Flute Spellworst: cherry cream soda, summer showers

s8 has a lot of Finn because it has a lot of Fern!!!!! Some good contained shenanigans eps, Fern’s development happens and Fern is just Finn so I love him and I like Fern eps. However I do not like the Simon or Normal Man Bullshit especially because it is the same exact bullshit you’re serving to me twice and I hate it. This season doesn’t have TONs of laughs tho ?? Which is tragic when I love to laugh. Let’s say 7/10 because it doesn’t have much Marcy? and I don’t like islands half as much as Stakes, mostly Jake is hilarious in Islands which saves it. But it doesn’t make me as mad... as 5-6... so....

s8: fav epsDon't Look**Beyond the GrottoI Am a SwordThe Music HoleDaddy-Daughter Card Wars*Preboot/RebootTwo SwordsDo No HarmIslands is fineworst: Broke his Crown, normal man

s9 is so short. Elements is little to me, in part because of so much ice king/betty and LSP and i don’t... care.... Ketchup and Three Buckets are the most emotionally evocative. Underwhelming on the whole lets say 5/10 neutral?

s9: fav epsElements is mehKetchupThree Bucketsthis season has few eps

s10 has a bad ratio, AND is short, so... wuh. There were a lot of eps this season that sounded.... promising.... but the execution/writing was sooo lacklustre? I SHOULD like Marcy&Hunson? butahdont? I SHOULD like seventeen butahdontttt??? I even usually like FP/Finn but Ring of Fire is little.... blenanas is nothing despite starring Finn... don’t like the finale... don’t like anything with, gumbald, or, betty, and, they become the focus, bluh. The First Investigation isn’t even that Great its just more engaging than like, Jake the Star Child or Blenanas .... man depressing. The Wild Hunt is it. 2/10 because that’s a baaaaad ratio and the simon/betty in the finale makes me too frustrated to experience pleasure

s10: fav epsThe Wild Hunt**The First Investigation worst: ring of fire, seventeen, don't care about blenanas aaaall the way to come along with me, thats a lot of eps

#Anonymous

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cryinggameff · 6 years

Text

Sixty-nine

Randi

Cayden and his friends were drinking and doing god knows what else while watching the game. I had agreed to let him host the party here, which i was kind of regretting because they were loud as hell and it made it hard to take my mid day naps. I had left for a bit to go and pick up some groceries so i could make some food for them to eat plus some snacks and such and now i was back home. I walked past going to put the stuff in the kitchen.

“Baby, you back?” Cayden said, getting up and coming to the kitchen.

“Yeah, just went to target,” I said, taking stuff out of the bag.

“How’s my baby?” He put his arms around me to grab my belly.

“Active. He’s been jumping around all day,” I sighed. He moved his hand around.

“That’s because he’s a little baller. Or maybe a gymnast if it’s a girl.”

“Mmhm,” i said, putting my hand over his. Somebody scored and the guys got all excited. We both looked over. I started taking stuff out the bags. Cayden removed his hands and started going back to the living area. I glanced at him and saw his jaw was locked and arms flexed. I was confused. He walked up to Rambo and smacked him on the back of the head.

“Damn man!” Rambo jumped. He turned around and Cayden grabbed the blunt that he must have just lit out of his mouth.

“I told your slow ass not to be smoking in my house when my wife is pregnant. Are you dumb? That’s my kid you fucking with bruh,”

“My bad Cayden, I forgot,” he said quickly. “I’m sorry man,” he said. Everyone else looked to see what Cayden was gonna do. I already knew what he was planning to do and considering he was China’s man and what not i couldn’t have them falling out or that would make things awkward for all of us. I put the milk I was holding down. I reluctantly intervened.

“It’s ok baby,” i said to him from the kitchen. He looked up at me and I gave him a look to calm down and of course he listened and backed down. He just put the blunt out and came to throw it out in the kitchen. He came up behind me and wrapped an arm around me again.

“Sorry,” He said by my ear just so I could hear.

“It’s ok,” I said, leaning up to kiss him. I wasn’t mad, after all he was right, it was bad for the baby. Cayden had stopped smoking, around the house anyways, all together. It was cute how concerned he was about the baby. He kissed my shoulder and I giggled.

“She’s already pregnant dog, give it a break,” ty said as he came strolling in to the kitchen to open the fridge. I blushed but laughed.

“Hey! I just got those,” I complained. But nobody was listening. He was long gone and they had broken into a play fight, crashing on to the floor and rolling around like children. “You’re 26 years old,” I grumbled, picking my rolls off the floor.

I made some stuff for the guys and then took my food upstairs to eat and watch some shows.

I ended up falling asleep after eating, but woke up a few hours later with terrible heart burn. That was happening a lot now. I would take it over being nauseous 24/7 like in the beginning, but it was still very uncomfortable. I went downstairs to go find some tums and realised Cayden and his friends were gone. I looked at my phone real quick and Cayden had texted me saying he was gonna go in to work. I got some tums and some milk and went back to the bedroom. I decided to give Cole a call because i hadn't talked to him in a while.

"Hi Colebear,"

"Hey lil mama. How you doing?" he asked.

"Im ok, just tired and sick all the time," i complained.

"That sounds horrible," he said. "How much longer you got anyways? Tryna make sure im there when the baby gets here."

"Still have like 4 months. Im ready for it to be over, and i just wanna hold my baby already." I groaned in frustration.

"When we gon find out if its a boy or girl? How am i supposed to buy them some swag if i dont know?"

"I was supposed to find out a while ago but i kept missing my appointments. Im going in a few days, should find out then."

"Word? aight keep me posted."

"I will," i said, "so whats up with you and Ty. He came to my house a week ago and from what he said yall had some drama when he visited." I was being nosy as usual.

"Aint no drama," he mumbled.

"What did you do?" i asked in an accusing tone. He sighed.

"I may have iced him out a little."

"Why?" i asked, confused.

"Things were getting...intense."

"Thats how a relationship works Cole," i pointed out.

"I know," he said simply. I smiled a little bit.

"I get it. I was the same way when Cayden and i started getting serious. It terrified me. It's scary to love someone."

"So what did you do?" He asked.

"Well Cayden didn't really give me an option to run. He followed me every time, " i laughed. "Eventually i just got tired of trying to run away and i just dove in. Now i'm married to the fool and carrying his baby."

"Diving in sounds terrifying."

"It is," i bit my lip, thinking back to when Cayden and i were still dating. "But its worth it."

"Ugh. I cant with this sappy shit right now. Im bout to go to practice and i dont need to be in my feelings while tackling a bunch of dudes."

"Okay fine, ill drop it for now. But you need to just accept you love him and move on. Don't overthink it," i said seriously.

"okay mom."

"Oh God, can you imagine someone is gonna be calling me that soon," i said, more to myself.

"I can see you as a mom. You always taking care of people or helping them fix their lives, even when they didnt ask," he laughed.

"What can i say, i dont know how to mind my business," i shrugged.

"Lowkey im the same," he said. "But i gotta go."

"Okay babe, have a good practice. Ill talk to you later." He said bye and then i hung up.

Cayden

"Yo, How's the shipment going?" I asked him, referring to a deal i had going with Sean. He was organising the order while i handled the logistics and such.

"Man i don't think we have enough here. We gotta bring some from the other warehouse. I was gonna call Pat but i wanted to run it by you," he got up and i followed him out to the balcony looking down to the rest of the warehouse. It was busy with niggas at work like usual, organised by product.

"What he want?" i asked.

"Coke mostly, but he talking about he got some guy wants a bunch of crystal. We got 10, 20 pound max here," he said, nodding at the back of the room where the guys were breaking and weighing a fresh batch.

"Who the fuck wants to buy that much crystal?" My brows came together.

"Man who knows, thats your boy, ask him. Im just saying, thats pretty much all our supply from both warehouses, and we have one cook" he said. I nodded because he was right, but that wasn't my biggest concern. It was just weird to me that Sean was suddenly moving crystal when he had never before. I couldn't help think back to the time Randi asked if Sean could be trusted and wondered if she was on to something.

"Dont call Pat. Not yet anyways. Imma have a little meeting with Sean first," i decided.

"Got it," he nodded.

"By the way, thanks for checking on Randi while i was gone," i said. He shrugged.

"Uncle duties and what not," he smirked, "how she doing anyways? You weren't playing when you said she was emotional."

"She tired all the time, i feel bad. She go off on you?" I laughed.

"Nah, just crying and shit. I don't know how you do it."

"Ill take crying over when she gets angry."

"True," Ty nodded. I checked my watch.

"I gotta go find Keisha, i need her to get Sean here. I aint going to Cali, i just got back," i looked around a bit.

"She was here with Kassie earlier, training and what not. How you get her to come back anyways?" he raised a brow.

"I begged," i chuckled. " Why? you still got a crush on her? Thought you were all about the D now."

"Fuck you Cayden," he said, turning to go back to his office. I laughed and went off to find Keisha.

I ended up just calling Keisha from my office and she came up.

"Hey, sorry, Kassie was showing me around. She just left," she said.

"It's all good. I need you to do something for me though. 2 things actually."

"Sure, what is it?" she pulled out a pen and notepad.

"I need you to get Sean here. ASAP."

"Got it," she nodded.

"Also i need you to book me a trip, for 2. Jamaica, not business. Anytime in the next month or so," i looked up from my phone calendar.

"I'll get right on it..." she paused. "It's sweet. I mean, im assuming it's for your wife."

"Yeah it is. Gotta keep her happy," i shrugged. She smiled. Then she seemed to remember something and pulled out her phone

"Oh before i forget, the accountant is coming tomorrow. Just a reminder. Also, your calendar says its Ty's birthday soon, do you want me to arrange anything?"

"Remind me an hour before tomorrow. Get a gift for me, Randi is doing the rest. She throws unnecessary parties, its kind of her thing," i rolled my eyes.

"Okay then. Ill go start on this," she said, turning for the door.

"How was the training by the way?" i asked. Kassie had been here the whole time i was gone, showing her the ropes

"Good. She was really nice. She had a lot of great things to say about you. But i'm not surprised, you're a nice guy Cayden. I cant tell you how much this job means to me, my son too," she brushed her golden curls aside. "I mean i made decent money at the club, but...this is a lot better," she bit her lip. I nodded.

"You should have called me, I always cared about you Keisha," i smiled at her gently seeing her get emotional. She was all tough exterior, it was rare to see this side of her.

"I was embarrassed," she shrugged.

"You aint gotta be. How people make money is none of by business. Bur don't worry, i pay my assistants a lot. You gotta put up with my ass, just wait, you'll be sick of me soon." She laughed.

"Thanks Cayden," she smiled.

"You're welcome," i said simply. She left and closed the door behind her.

Once she was gone i called Randi to check on her.

Randi

Cayden called me just after id gotten off with Cole. He asked how i was and then he was telling me about what he was doing and when he would be home. Then i heard someone talking in the background, it wasn't a guy though, it was a female voice.

“Who is that” I said.

“Who’s who?” He asked. I sat up straighter in the bed chair.

“The chick talking in the back ground,” i said. I couldn't think of any reason for there to be a girl in his office at the warehouse. I knew there were a few girls who were involved in selling and what not but Cayden didn't spend time talking to pedlars or people lower in the chain, he handled all the big time stuff. I started to wonder if he wasn't really at the warehouse but i didn't see why he would lie.

“Keisha,” he said, as if that meant anything. “My assistant.”

“When did you get an assistant? You don’t like anyone, how’d you even pick someone.”

“I told you months ago that I needed an assistant baby,” he reminded me. This was true but still.

“Hm,” I said simply.

“So we good then? I’ll see you in a few hours,” he said.

“Okay,” i said, hanging up. I had been too annoyed to say bye or I love you.

Why would he get an assistant without telling me? If that even was his assistant. I knew there was always random girls walking around that definitely weren’t assistants, the business kind anyways. I wondered what this Keisha girl was assisting Cayden with and my blood started to boil. I tried to not be this person but pregnancy also had me a bit mentally unstable and I wasn’t particularly confident right now. Was Cayden fooling around with another girl because i was becoming the size of a whale? I panicked and started to get up off the bed and pulled on a sweater.

I wasn’t really sure what I was doing until i was driving for 20 minutes and leaving the city to go towards the warehouse. I never came here on my own and I started to second guess myself as I pulled up and security immediately posted up. I got out of the car and locked it. One of the guys looked familiar though and I was pretty sure I’d seen him before.

“Are you lost shawty?” Another guy said, licking his lips in a disgusting way and looking down at me. I was about to release all my fury on him when the familiar guy spoke up.

“That’s Cayden’s wife you idiot” he said. The previous guy shrunk back.

“My bad,” he said quickly, head down.

“Should i get Cayden for you?” The familiar guy asked. I shook my head.

“I know my way,” I said, motioning to the door. They paused but moved out of the way. I adjusted my cardigan and went in. People stared at me because i rarely came period let alone on my own. Also I was pretty pregnant now which drew attention. I went upstairs to the offices and stopped in front of Cay’s. I debated whether or not to knock then decided against it. I opened the door and walked in.

Cayden looked up and his face went very confused when he saw me. He was in the chair and a girl stood beside him, bent over and pointing to the computer screen.

“Randi? What the fuck are you doing here?” He said. My face must not have looked happy because he quickly got up. “I mean is everything ok? Is it the baby?” He came over and put a hand to my lower back. I immediately checked his hand for the wedding band which was there.

“The baby’s fine,” I said, looking him over for lipstick, makeup, anything.

“What’s going on then?” He asked. I looked up at the girl standing and starring at us. Cayden looked up. “Keisha can you give me a minute with my wife,” she stood for a minute looking which was strange but then she shuffled out. I was looking around his office looking for any signs of anything messy when Cayden put a hand to my cheek. “Baby, What’s going on?”

“Nothing,” I mumbled, feeling like the biggest fool.

“You drove all the way up here for nothing. Nah,” he shook his head. I choked up, I couldn’t say I came because I thought you were cheating.

“I don’t feel good,” I lied. I did feel sick to my stomach all of a sudden but more out of guilt. Guilty that I’d thought he’d do something like that and also because the way he looked worried now that he thought I was sick.

“Maybe I should take you to the hospital,” he said, feeling my forehead.

“No I’ll be okay,” I said quickly. “I think I just need to go home,”

“I’ll take you,” He said “someone will come pick me up after.” I agreed. He held me all the way out of his office and down the stairs. Once we got in the car I was still thinking about the fact that he got an assistant and didn’t tell me. That was still sketchy, cheating or not.

“How do you know her?” I asked.

“Keisha?” He asked. I waited for him to lie because honestly I already knew the truth. I was simply testing him. “Being 100, we used to fuck but it was a long time ago, and we were actually friends.”

“So is that why you didn’t tell me?” I asked.

“This about to be a problem isn’t it?” He asked. “Wait? Is that why you drove all the way down here?” Well shit.

“Well I heard a girl in your office,” I said, defending myself. He turned to face me then.

“And you automatically assumed I was what? Cheating?” He looked upset. I was supposed to be the one angry. “You don’t even trust me huh? Still,” he shook his head. When he put it like that he made it sound bad.

“It’s not like that-“

“What’s it like? You came running, so that’s what you thought.”

“Well...” I started. “Normally I wouldn’t be scared but look at me,” i gestured at myself. “I don’t look tight and right at the moment. And don't eve play me like you didn't just hire a girl you used to sleep with and not tell your wife about it.”

“You’re insane Randi. You’ve lost your mind. I ain’t even gon fight you cause you carrying my kid.” I got frustrated and was fighting the urge to break into tears so i just glared out the window for the ride home.

#chris brown #Jhene Aiko #chris brown fanfic #chris brown ff #jhene chilombo #jhene efuru #jhene aiko fanfic #jhene aiko ff #fanfiction #fandom #fanfic #fanfic update #j cole #j cole fanfic

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musubiki · 6 years

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Got any hcs for white? Her starter, her journey, etc? And like. Fws hcs?? 👀👀👀

K HERE WE GO MY SECOND FAVORITE GIRL EVER(this is gonna be long bc. i like them too)

➞

white chose tepig as her starter. this is actually a GREAT match because Gus is really rash and hasty and stubborn fist fighter just like her

white has never lost a battle. that was her goal it was never really to become champion or anything (she didnt care for all the responsibility that came with it) her goal was to be undefeated. which did not bode well for cheren, who wanted to be champion, and lost every battle against her

“well this is discouraging”

she really loves bianca!!! and cheren!!!!! she has the least patience and sense out of the three. cheren has to keep her grounded so she doesnt do weird shit

white is physically the strongest out of the protags. its mysterious. she als o has the best hair

when she first meets N he is. a creep. im sorry. even i see it like that when you first meet him hes weird. when she first hears the team plasma speech in the first town, shes like boiling already. why would anyone listen to the knights of the round table?! this is weird. she kicks N’s ass first battle.

her problem from here on out and throughout the journey is that. she was the opposite of N. she thought that everyone treated their pokemon nicely and no one could ever hurt a pokemon. she learned she was wrong fairly quickly, and tried to fix and embrace reality instead of N, who tried to change the world all at once.

this is why shes the hero of truth and hes the hero of ideals.

i dont have a lot of solid hc interactions between them (mostly bc i havent played in a while jfklas i abandoned my boy) but throughout their journey they. actually talk. and argue. and they both equally learn things from each other. and despite him being kinda weird (she thinks) shes actually kinda concerned for him

he makes her think about things she wouldnt otherwise. not just the fate of pokemon but about the future and the whole world. because of him she actually has this moment, where she has all of her current team out. and she realises that she is, like what he says and just makes her pokemon fight. of course and loves and cares for them, and she just. asks them real solemly like. “Do you guys even want to fight? Like do you even like being here?”

and she already decided that if any of them didn’t want to be there, she would let them go.

luckily, her whole team is full of pokemon just like her and they enjoy the fights, and the adventure, and spending time with her, and shes thrilled. after this she asks pokemon she catches that she wants to keep if they wanna stay with her

i love N a lot ok. whenever N talks to white she always says something that surprises him and makes him look at the world differently. eventually he finds himself actually seeking her out and deliberatly looking for chances to run into her. he gains a lot of respect for her. whenever he talks to her he takes his hat off and nervoulsy kinda. holds it in his hands and shes kinda “?”

when she first finds out hes king. of team plasma. shes pissed. shes ready to TIP TH DAMN CART THING IN THE FERRISHWEEL AND HAVE A FIGHT RIGHT THERE. HES TELLING HER TO CALM DOWN AND SHES LIKE HOW DID YOU EXPECT ME TO REACT??????????????

shes angry bc hes the king of this. horrible orginization. and as far as shes seen all they do is steal and abuse pokemon. the next few times she talks to him he tells her that theyre nothing like that, and that they only look after pokemon

this is actually true. some of the grunts fully believe in the true cause. but most of them follow ghetsis. and N has no idea that his grunts are actually abusing and stealing (i keep thinking about the dreamyard because that scene was what the fuck????a re you doing????)

she begins to realize this. that he has no idea. and that he actually believes in this cause. and as she gets to know him she realises he is. the purest person. and he has no idea. and she feels kinda bad bc she was kinda mean to him before, but hes still plasma so shes confused about how she should treat him because he always treats her and her pokemon pretty nicely.

N is actually a very nice and gentle soul. he’ll put up a fight for sure, but especially towards white hes the sgtwytwytws weetest thing im sorry i have a soft spot for him. lowkey he wants her approval.

if youve ever seen miraculous ladybug, i imagine N to be kind of like adrien(without the chat side to him) like hes just. nice. and gentle and. cute.

i hc that they have way more interactions than the game gives you

the best thing theyve ever had together was this celebration in Iccirus city (similar to like…the 4th of july kinda thing..) and whites pretty alone. cherena and bianca are off doing Arceus knows what and shes like. alone. and she finds N outside the city with some pokemon.

so she goes and talks to him. questions why hes out here all alone in like, the cold. shouldnt you be with your family or something? its a holiday. and she caught him off gaurd and he immedatly like stands up and hes kinda happy to see her. he doesnt question why but hes. happy. when shes around.

he tells her his father never really cared for these kinds of celebrations anyway, and that he usually spends these kinds of days alone. he doesnt think this is a big deal but whites kinda,.. lonely too. so she proposes “Listen, no one should be alone today. And I don’t really have anyone to hang out with either, so what do you say we just, forget about the sworn enemies thing for the night and go have some fun or something”

and hes. surprised. here she goes again. always saying something new and pleasent and hes. like beaming hes so cutnhejfje so he agrees.

and this turns into. a pretty great night for them both actually. like they actually get along great when theyre not arguing about the future of unova. they play a lot of booth games and.

hdj white loses at one of those ball tossing games(she usually loses and then harasses the booth guy with “Booo its rigged” but she just likes to have fun) and N. is determined. he fuckin. calculates wind direction and all this weird shit and gets. a record high score and shes like how the fuck did you do that. he smiles and answers its all in the wrist.

he gets her some stuffed animal thing. shes like this is the best day ever shes thrilled. they go and get food and like by the end of the night theyre actually. like friends. and she didnt think this would happen but she actually likes hanging out with him. at some point she wins a seashell necklace that she wears for the timeskip outfit

so theyre sitting there at the edge of the festival whatever eating caramel popcorn and ice cream and hot dogs laughing and telling stories about weird people theyve met and crazy things theyve done.

and they talk about his family. and why hes with plasma in the first place. and where her parents are. and why they believe in the things that they say and do. it turns out theyre both orphans. the only difference between them is that hes alone

at some point (i forget how this comes up) he asks white if theyre friends. she pauses for a while because she doesnt know how to answer it. yes, she thinks, when she’s with him like this. when she forgets that hes leading a region-wide organization aiming to seperate people and pokemon. but she settles with a yes, and jokingly adds that if they were destined to be mortal enemies they could hang out more, and he smiles

she spots a pair of plasma grunts, looks like theyre doing some shady things, but her head flashes back to the conversations shes had with N. he doesnt know what his grunts do. so she tells him to stay there and she’ll be back. hes kind of confused and worried, so he follows her from a distance.

she follows the grunts into a cave/grotto/area. yep, here they are abusing some poor purrloins or something, trying to get something that ghetsis claims he needs. she has her stountland right beside her and angrily questions what they think theyre doing.

when they snarkily and confidently answer that they do whatever they want, she asks why theyre even a part of team plasma at all if theyre gonna treat pokemon like this. she tells them to go join team rocket if theyre looking for business like that. N is outside listening to all of this

they say something like “You think this about money?” and she asks what else and they answer “This is about power. We don’t give a damn about freeing pokemon for justice! When all the pokemon are gone plasma will reign supreme!!”

she clutches her pokeball. shes pissed. not just because, these fuckers got issues, but because they are deliberatly. disobeying N, and everything he stands for. so she tells them to get out of there before they end up regretting it. they laugh and tell her they dont even listen to their own King, why would they listen to her.

(white is a huge badass by the way. shes the more hardcore and probably coolest protag)

then N steps in and they. fall silent. and they are terrified. the stutter and stammer about how it was all a misunderstanding, and it wasnt their fault, and they didnt mean it, and every excuse they could come up with but N. is kind of like leaf in this sense because he is. angry. but his anger comes off cold and heartless and man he is cool.

so they, because they know theyre screwed already, decide that they wont take this shit anymore and challenge them to a fight. figure if they manage to beat N, maybe they could rule plasma instead. (this is my excuse to get N and White to double battle) and they rock. theyre the perfect tag team. truely the two sides of the same coin

when theyre defeated. N forces them to release their pokemon and they run away, never to show their faces to plasma again. They stand there in silence for a while, and N asks “Why did you tell me not to stay there?”

shes quiet for a while before answering “Because…you believe in what you do” and “I didn’t want you to see the worst of what was going on.”

he thanks her for her concern, and tells her not to think like that, because now he finally sees what shes been trying to tell him about plasma, and maybe he can do something about it now that he knows. ignorance is never bliss, he adds, and she knows hes right. she just didnt want him to be hurt, she thinks

she asks what hes going to do, and he answers he’d try to weed out whatever corruption was in plasma. he hopes what the grunts say wasnt true, and that this was just a small mutiny, not rooting from the very top.

FYI SHES NOT SUPPORTING PLASMA at this point she still hates plasmas ass for doing what they do, but shes seen now the way some trainers treat their pokemon (in and out of plasma) and she thinks that if this cause was done right, it would help the world a lot

unfortunaly N is a fool lol and wants to liberate ALLLL THE DAMN POKEMON.

ofc after this. ghetsis goes and. poisons his mind again with how shes a fool and shes trying to manipulate you and why would you doubt your own father. and right after this N. becomes the hero of ideals and they become worse enemies than theyve ever been. she becomes the hero of truth and he smiles because suddenly. everything makes sense. why hes always so happy to be around her. why it feels like she completes him despite all their differences and he. loves her he just doesnt know it

and she knows for a fact that ghetsis is behind all of this but because N is the king, she has to go through him first.

and she really cares for N. she actually ends up realising after he leaves that yeah, she pretty much loved him. and she hates his ass for leaving. so she goes to chase him down because cheesy as it is, these two are literally soulmates. they both acknowledge that meeting and growing with the other has made them better and stronger people and white refuses to let that go.

(i love their story and dynamic)

i dont have a set reuniting scene for them yet, the only one i have is.,.,. a part of that other story im lowkey working on..,.,. but she slaps him thats for sure LOL. hes like a puppy hes so happy to see her again hes like “White!!” and shes. PISSED. she has tears in her eyes and CATCH THESE HANDS. leaf and green are probably there and theyre like WHOA WHAT

green actually relates to white bc of this bc yeah, i waited for like 3 years for the love of my life too

#long post #REALLY LONG POST #im sorry mobile users #anon #ask #headcanons #ferriswheelshipping

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nainz717-blog · 5 years

Text

11/11 GIF Review: Suno Chanda

REWRITING THIS FOR THE SECOND TIME. Hi Guys! Long time no see, literally forgot the password to the forum some time ago and just really didn't have a reason to post anything. But I promised a friend and here I am. And since forum gave me a hard time, decided to open a tumblr and post it here! Lets see if this works!! Creds to Mina Birdie for helping me with layout questions!

When Abhi broke Pragya's fast during Karwa-chauth:

So the "OMG YES" Naina loved it. She was all about this! I have been wanting to see possessive, "she's mine" Abhi since Drunk Abhigya at Puliyah's engagment way back in 2014 when they were chotay motay bachay! You know, when he ridiculed her at every point in time? When he wanted absolutely nothing to do with her? When he had tried to minimize her rituals, including their first karwachauth and couldn't see beyond the materialistic things he thought he wanted. When he took forever in realizing theres more to her than just "Chashmish?" YEARS Later, we're seeing that same Abhi run around frantically trying to find a pot to fill water with so that he can make it in time for Pragz to see him first right after the chaand comes out so that he can break her fast and they can be bounded together religiously for saath janam.

HECK YEAH.

That really happened. HOW EPIC. The guy who didn't believe in God, the guy who thought rituals were a joke, the guy who didn't think these things could ever create an everbinding relationship is now HANGING ON DESPERATELY at all of these rituals for a chance to have any remaining bits of a relationship with Pragz. Y TO THE ES. Whether that be when he feels estatic after he accidentally fills her parting with sindoor, when he gets sad seeing Pragz buy an mangalsutra in Kings name at the jewelry shop, when he doesn't break Tanu's fast, when he doesn't put an mangalsutra on Tanu in front even as a show. He does another head bump cause Daasi had said bumping your head twice is auspicious! He's become as SANSKAARI as PRAGZ-BABY!!!

But then I realized alls not well:

Here comes the catch. SO in his mind, he fully thinks without a doubt that Pragya is married to King and has been for the last seven years. And even if he thinks there are residual feelings Pragz may have for him, she seems content with King and was fasting for him. And remember, this is the girl that was with Abhi through thick and thin and never gave up on him regardless of any poor choices and decisions he made....and yet after her surviving through the revenge part of the marriage, tolerating tanu as the constant third wheel in their relationship, being kidnapped countless times just for being Abhi's wife, losing a sister in the middle of this, having to re-develop feelings in Abhi's heart when he lost his memory and she was politely "kicked out" of the house, being doubted upon her intentions during many phases in the marriage...and yet she stuck by him rock solid. And yet after everything, she was still kicked out by Abhi in less than one minute and was never searched for for seven years. Can you imagine her going through that pregnancy alone? Where did she go after leaving his house? How did she manage to find shelter? When did she find out she was pregnant? Was her delivery normal or did she deliver early out of stress?

Do you see what I mean? She's gone through A LOT of struggles because of him but when she needed him most...he wasn't there. So for him to be possessive after seven years of not being there for her and wanting to have every right for the night when he thinks King took good care of her (and Im guessing he did for Pragz and Kiara to admire him so much)...its like, do you really have any right to be possessive? Yes, sure because I'm a hardcore Abhigya shipper, yes you do. But really, does a guy who kicked out his EXTREMELY understanding wife seven years ago and married her biggest enemy get to have any rights on her seven years later? Um...you can answer that for me.

When Aliyah and King show up on screen together:

Okay I get it, she's evil and he's pretty much a saint right now, why ship them and make his life miserable? But GUYS. Hear me out. At the end of the day, I think Aliyah is redeemable versus Tanu. Yes she hates Pragya, but there have been many moments in the show where you realize she cares about the Mehra family, in particular Abhi. She does get hurt when she sees them physically hurt. She has blasted Tanu in the past for dangerous tricks shes had up her sleeve. And it does kinda make me sad that seven years later, Aalu is still hung up on PURAB FOR WHO KNOWS WHAT REASON? Let him go babe, even the face has changed now (Arjit to Vin). Like come on writers, why can't we have Aalu move on when it comes to Purab and bring in a love angle for her? Because the Aalu-Purab-Disha-Bulbul triangle is static as it can be!

And here's why King would be great for her. Meet Aliyah, a girl who loves Abhi her bhai but dislikes Pragya. Meet King, a guy who admires Pragya fully but isn't a particular fan of Abhi. He's like the Raghav from Mina's fics He's the PERFECT balance for her! See, I dont want to see Aalu die at the end. I hope she does get redeemed and can be shown accepting Abhigya, because I don't want Abhi to lose another family member in the process of Abhigya uniting. Which for all of you who ship King and Pragya, I get it BUT IT AIN'T HAPPENING. And I would much rather see King as a supportive best friend 'til the end then a psychotic lover who now also hates Pragz. Because I really love the King-Pragz dosti so lets not ruin it. Lets find Aalu someone who give the wittiest replies to her sarcastic dialogues, who will not tolerate her cunning plans, who can put up with her negativity and someone who admires Pragya so that Aalu can start seeing the other edge of the sword.

Plus, Shikha and Mishal might look smoking on screen I'm ALL FOR THIS SHIP.

What Purab has been doing this fall season:

Not sure if its because Vin has been busy personally? But someones gotta give him something to do. He's becoming another wax statue in the back like Tau-ji and I'm already upset Raj became one, lets not let Purab become the third in line. Theres so much potential for him. Lets show him a different story line? Lets show how him and Disha are not getting along about something. Lets show him wanting to catch up on seven years with Pragya di. Lets show him trying to show Abhi what a TERRIBLE decision it is to keep Tanu in the house, regardless of whether he gets Pragz in the end or not. Writer-ji? Please kuch karein.

When kicking out Tanu from the house and his life is not the first option:

Maaf kiya Abhi threw Pragz out. Maaf kiya he didn't try finding her for seven years. Maaf kiya he pretended he didn't love her in front of his family all these years. My problem forever and always with Abhi has been, and this is more of a writer issue, that he can never be shown single. If he doesn't have Pragz with him, in some way or another he has Tanu by him.

Now disclaimer: I have no real issues with Leena being on the show all these four years. At some point in time I realized Tanu would be part of this show til the end and I'm not saying remove her from the show. I get from Tanu's point of view, that she's a desperate soul-less creature who doesn't see that there is no chance she's ending up with Abhi. For her, she's gonna keep trying in one way or another regardless of how many times she fails. But wait..why would she stop trying when Abhi does give her a chance every single time? Not that I'm Tanu, but if I wanna keep trying for the impossible and it does become possible for short periods of time MANY TIMES, um yes I'm going to keep trying! Problem isn't with Tanu? Problem is with Abhi. He GIVES her a chance. He knows she purposely created misunderstandings between him and Pragya constantly throughout the past, he knows shes capable of hurting people in order to obtain him, he knows she's tried failing the brakes and murdering Pragz in order to get our out of her way, he knows she's evil. And yet, when Pragz was kicked out, for some reason or another, he had "NO CHOICE" but to marry Tanu. Are you even serious.

The choice is not to marry anyone. Marry a turtle but don't marry her. Marry a poster of Madhuri Dixit but don't marry her. Marry your first cousin but don't marry her. Marry your clingy Meethu but don't marry her. Marry PURAB BUT DONT MARRY HER.

Or you know. Dont marry at all. That IS AN OPTION, Abhi. Staying single is a solid option, you know. And lets say Pragz is happily married with King for the past seven years and theres no chance of getting back together with her at least in this janam.

You'll just passively live your life with Tanu because Pragz isn't available? And how are you going to win her back with a horrible wife at the side? KICK HER OUT!! THAT IS ALWAYS THE WAY TO GO!

When Pragz shows sass and attitude post-leap:

I have full on been enjoying the Abhigya scenes. Every single one of them!! And while i do have some complaints with Abhi post-leap (okay many complaints), you do get to see the happiness that lights within him when she's around. In filmy terms, Abhi has everything- glam, lifestyle, respect, paisa, gaari, ghar, maal waal , ghar baar....but he doesn't have anyone who loves him for Abhishek Mehra. She's the girl in all these years that didn't give a fudge that he was Abhi the Rockstar, looked past every single flaw that he presented to her, and loved him for the child-like Abhishek Mehra thats buried within him. And for him, getting that kind of love...is rare. She wasn't in it for the money, she was in it for him. And you can see that even amongst the whole family, when she's not around, he's lonely. So I definitely feel for him and like that he's finally getting his Fuggi doses...he just need to make a few obvious decisions and then I'm sold on him.

But Pragz has been FIRE! She's not the same Pragz from seven years ago. This Pragz gives sassy replies. This Pragz shows anger and is not afraid to vocalize it. This Pragz isn't afraid to remind Abhi of the biggest mistake of throwing her out. This Pragz is no longer interested in EXPRESSING her love for him! Yes, of course, we know she's still totally latoo-fied by him. And sighhh. What can I say? The heart wants what it wants. But she's almost accepted that they're not going to end up together, for their own sakes and Kiara's sakes. And she's almost content with whatever little they have now. THIS IS DIFFERENT PRAGZ!! She's no longer running behind Abhi trying to gain his love. Its almost the other way around! She's the "girl that got away" and he's trying to win back anything he can with her! HOW FREAKING AWESOME. I love this dynamic where she's no longer running after him and its him trying to win her back.

The only complaint I have with Pragz-is not telling King who Abhi and Kiara are. Would make her life simpler. I do not advocate telling Abhi about Kiara though. Not when we all know he's capable of making the worst decisions and allows creatures like Tanu to swarm around him and create dangerous settings at all points in time. Yes, no thank you please. I would also prioritize my kid over telling the passive father just for the sakes of him knowing.

Okay lastly, can we take a minute to appreciate this:

THIS GIRL IS GETTING YOUNGER AND YOUNGER BY THE DAY!!!! DREAM GIRL IN EVERY ESSENCE! I know we like to point out days when the outfits are not par excellence. But then lets also appreciate the days when Tripti has gone beyond expectations! Everything about this is love!!! Also love how Srit's been incorporating some "raised eyebrows" and "suppressed smiles" and "biting lips" as new flirty connotations. LOVE LOVE.

Until next time, Cheers! -Naina

#kumkumbhagya pragyamehra pragyaarora abhishekmehra kkb abhigya

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