#I don't know why! The simpler ones tend to look better so

[abrisaber]

A long post about the establishing and foreshadowing of Blitzo's character in Helluva Boss (and a Stolitz rant)

A lot of people tend to criticize character development in Helluva Boss, So I wanted to discuss the development that HB gets right, which is that of its main character, Blitzo. Firstly I want to lay out every instance of Blitzo getting some form of development or foreshadowing.

S1; EP2- Loo Loo Land.

This is only one line but it's still important to point out because 1, It shows how Blitzo thinks of Fizzarolli, and 2, It foreshadows Blitzos history with him and his (maybe) first failed relationship with someone close to him.

There's also this line where Robo asks "Does anybody love you" and Blitzo responds with "No." While this was clearly a joke, I think Blitz genuinely believes nobody loves him. He scratches his face out in photos and says "I'm going to die alone aren't I,' So he very clearly has issues with his self-worth and how he views himself. Maybe this is a punishment he inflicts on himself to remind him that he's a failure and that he doesn't deserve the people in his life

S1; EP3- Spring Broken

This one is clear as day. His relationship with Veronika is at the forefront of this episode. We don't know much about their breakup or what led to it, but it's safe to assume that it was caused by Blitz.

In Ozzies Verosika states Blitzo didn't reciprocate in their relationship, and says he's selfish both in bed and in public. In Spring Broken, she says Blitzo didn't do his job well as a bodyguard and explains how Blitzo dumped her by leaving and stealing from her.

This is the first real glimpse at how Blitzo has ruined his relationships with people. If my current timeline theory is correct, with Verosika being the last serious relationship Blitzo was in before he started sleeping with Stolas, his breakup with Verosika could've been one of the first instances in his life where he pushed someone close to him away out of fear. My theory is that Verosika was a fallback after his relationships with Fizzarolli and Barbie Wire ended on bad terms, and that's why he never truly treated her right when they were together.

S1; EP5- The Harvest Moon Festival.

This one delves more into Blitzo's views of himself rather than his relationships, but it does become important on that front too since in Truth Seekers, this is flipped to reflect how his self-worth affects his willingness to be with people.

S1; EP6- Truth Seekers is going to be a long one because of how much is said and shown during Blitzos hallucinations.

S1; EP6- Truth Seekers

Firstly, what "Moxxie," says is telling because this is Blitzo's own brain explaining his character flaws to him through someone who he constantly belittles.

Blitzo responds with "I don't need you," which obviously isn't true due to how often he fucks up and leaves things to Moxxie and Millie (Which is what fake Moxxie says)

Striker saying "But you don't want to do things alone" is his mind using striker, the person who confronted him about his self-worth, to say he doesn't want to be alone.

I don't know if this was an intentional decision but it's indirectly using a figure that shows he views himself lowly as an explanation for why he pushes people away despite not wanting to. It's basically saying "You want to become better, you don't want to be alone, but you think you're undeserving so you push everyone away from you."

Moving to fake Fizzarolli, again this section will be longer since I have a lot more to say.

Fizzarolli's design is something I theorize a lot about, mainly because the other two renditions look pretty close to their real counterparts, but Fizz is cartoonish and sort of looks like rubberhose-style animation. I think this style was chosen to represent how long it's been since Blitzo and Fizzarolli have been friends.

Another thing about his design is the heart on his forehead. I don't think it was just to make it look simpler because the design is already pretty plain. I think this is supposed to show that Fizz and Blitzo had a romantic relationship that ended poorly.

I don't know when this SS from the 2022 trailer is supposed to take place in univ. The trailer was released after "Ozzies" so it could be a shot in the present in the upcoming S2 EP6, but I don't know if Blitzo would allow this to happen after what happened at Ozzies, not unless he has (or had) a major soft spot for Fizzarollli. Fizzarolli's language in Ozzies suggests he hasn't seen him or heard from him in a while (he says "That Blitzo? So you're showing your face?")

Of course, this was just a setup to make fun of him for his keychain so It could be from after Ozzies, but this is just a clip from a trailer so It's not going to be a clear answer until we get the episode it's from.

Finally moving on to Verosika, the heart on her cheek is now broken as well, and her makeup is smeared. This design of her is showing how upset and hurt she is, and how bitter it's made her.

Lastly, moving to Stolas and the ending of the trip,

I believe these chains removing the weird goop is meant to represent how he views his relationship with Stolas. The goo represents his past problems and flaws, and Stolas is someone who can help him deal with that. But the chains are his fears and flaws negatively effecting him.

Stolitz Rant Incoming

I see people use this as a reason to say Blitzo doesn't like Stolas and doesn't want to be with him, yet no one points out how Blitzo was the one to crawl towards him, granted it was to escape from his past, but he still made the choice to go forward.

Stolitz discourse is something that always divides people. On one hand, people say Blitzo is manipulating Stolas by pretending to want to fuck him just for his book, and on the other, people say Stolas is harassing Blitz by not taking the hint. These arguments aren't too far off, but there isn't any INTENTIONAL manipulation.

Blitzo does care about Stolas. This isnt something that just happened suddenly, the show is trying to establish how he feels about Stolas, yet there's always a crowd that says "Where did this come from? Why is this the first time we're seeing this?" as if thats not how shows work.

This is the first we're seeing of Blitzos true feelings because this is the ESTABLISHING period of the show. There haven't been any more indicators because there wasn't any show before this. Sure you can make the argument that there were more opportunities to put more ground beneath this story but you cant then fault the show for trying to establish ground AT ALL. It's like not studying for a test and crying when you fail.

Blitzo is uncomfortable because he's currently in turmoil. For years he's been in a constant shit storm of pushing his loved ones away and isolating himself from them until he's left alone. And now it's coming back to bite him in the ass because he doesn't realize how badly hes hurt people. It took hallucinatory drugs and a musical number to get him to see that he's truly hurt the people he loves and that he has a trail of bitter and angry exes.

Stolas is just the one who's made him understand what intimacy means to him, and why he's afraid to have that. He WANTS to be with Stolas, but years and years of isolation have left him afraid of a new partner.

It's why he stalks M&M, its why he looks for Barbie, its why he pours so much love into Loona. He's looking for a way out of his cycle of pain.

In Stolas's defense, he's just doing what he thinks Blitzo would like. The texts in Western Energy show that Stolas is genuinely trying to make an effort to make their relationship less transactional, and Blitzo isn't reciprocating at all (something we know he's done before).

I'm closing this off now because I don't want this Stolitz rant to drag on but I will return to this with more on Stolas's behalf. This post was mainly about Blitzo and his character.

In conclusion, I think that #HelluvaBoss deserves a lot more credit than its given. Stolitz is a toxic relationship, but it's only toxic because Stolas and Blitzo have major character flaws that prevent them from having a healthy relationship. And that doen'yt make them evil people. Theres no real malice or abuse, just misunderstanding that lead to toxicity and no comunication.

#helluva boss #helluva blitzo #helluva boss analysis #stolitz #fizzarolli #verosika mayday #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

[firedjinni]

what do u even call the slugcats cause they're "names" are fuckinfg BORING! "monk" "survivor" yap yap yap! thats why I call them flowerboy and ponyboy hunter is a cool fucking name but still WOLFBOY. is better I know theres... other slugcats the only ones ive seen are the fat one and the darker red one. and some weird... mutation looking slugcat... weird eyes... weird colors. whateverrrrrr ill enable the dlc after i do this damn wolfboy run 4 DAYs. LEFT.

okay, I understand this was probably not the intended point of this ask, but it is too late. you have activated my trap card. we are talking about Slugcat Worldbuilding Headcanons now.

(Spoilers ahead for… basically every campaign.)

For Hunter: I imagine "Hunter" is more of a nickname, and that NSH normally refers to them more as his courier or messenger. I tend to call them "Hunter" for writing convenience (even in their own POV, so far), but they don't really call themself that much. They have a lot of identity issues tied up in being created for a Very Specific Purpose and not really knowing how to think of themself outside of it; they're a divine messenger, but that's not really a name. Until their purpose is fulfilled, they don't think about themself as a person often enough to actually consider things like names.

For Survivor: I like the headcanon that slugcats (at least in Surv/Monk/Gourm's colony) are given simpler names as pups, and sort of "earn" a more descriptive title/adult name as they mature. In my usual read of them, they would have just been "white/pale one" when they still lived with their colony, and gave themself the name "Survivor" some time after their fall.

For Monk: their pup name, which they have during their campaign, is something like "yellow one", and they don't earn a title until later. Even then, they aren't ever "Monk" in-universe, as slugcats don't quite have an equivalent social structure or role for that term to translate directly. The name they take instead means something more like "pacifist" or "gentle/wise/peaceful one", though there are some loosely similar social connotations to early Ancient society's version of monkhood, with implications of spiritual attunement, insight, and vague otherworldliness.

For Artificer: I imagine this name to be a matter of in-universe translation jank. Their actual name is something closer to "crafter" or "clever one that makes things" (again, connotations are tricky to translate!), but those simply do not possess the same pizzazz. The Scavengers also call them "Red Death" or sometimes "Red Mother", which ends up becoming a sort of mythological figure later on, like a Scavenger boogeyman. Future slugcat colonies end up sort of adopting back the mythology of the Red Mother as a protective deity/spirit, so they mostly call her that in the future. "Red" was probably their pup name, too.

For Spearmaster: Seven Red Suns calls them "messenger" and "07" -- I like to think the former becomes a nickname (their character designer, Faeling, headcanons SRS calling them "Messy" as a nickname/diminutive which I think is adorable), but Spearmaster themself might have adopted the latter too at some point, maybe almost like a family name, because they like that it connects them to Seven Red Suns. I also figure that other wild slugcats might have various nicknames for them, especially since SM would have no easy way to introduce themself -- and the name "Spearmaster" might come from that, actually! But I also like the idea of a future folktale version of them similar to with Artificer, with various names depending on the opinions of the colony/culture in question: "Cousin Thorn-tail", "the Spear-sapper", "the Drinker", and so on.

For Gourmand: again, I imagine this as a case of translation jank, and whatever they're called has slightly different connotations, though I'm less decided on what it should actually be. "Gourmand" is just so… specific? I feel like whatever they've got going on should be equally untranslatable, though. It's something along the lines of "appraiser" and "crafter" and "skilled forager", with this implication of like… knowing about valuable/desirable things and how to find/make them, and also having a strong personal taste for them? "Connoisseur", almost? But not quite as fancy. Their pup name was just "big one", though -- pup Gourmie wasn't quite the absolute unit they are as an adult, but they were definitely always a big slugcat.

For Rivulet: I like the idea this really is just their name! Little-stream-of-water! It's actually their pup name, but they left their colony before coming of age (ran away to become an adventurer), and never really found a title they liked. They think Moon calling them Ruffles is cute, but it's definitely just a nickname.

For Saint: the name does translate directly, not because slugcats have a concept of sainthood, but because the title they gave themself is the literal term taken from the Ancients. I headcanon that they were raised by or around an iterator and know a lot of The Lore, and sorta borrowed some of these concepts for how they see themself… a sort of divine sufferer bringing peace to others, martyring themself for the sake of mercy. Their pup name was just "tongue" or something, though, if they had one at all.

#rain world #rw #asks #headcanons #not art

[comicaurora]

Hello Red! I'm happy to say you've inspired me to start drawing comics, but the biggest issue I've encountered is that it takes actually forever. I'm always really happy I did it when I'm done but it's hard to convince myself to start when I know a couple panels is gonna take me days. So I was wondering if you had any advice regarding streamlining the process for time efficiency or keeping up motivation for long projects, and, if you remember, how long a page took you when you first started vs how long it takes now?

Hoo boy. Yeah, I can help out with that. The very first page of the comic took me, if I'm recalling correctly, a full week. No other projects or pages, just this.

A lot of work went into details that are frankly impossible to see, though I am still glad I did it, both as a learning experience and because I felt like I owed it to Vash to do it some justice before I squished it in twelve pages.

Hell, if you look closely, you can even see the cavalcade of little visual errors I missed because I didn't have it in me to do a seventeenth cleanup pass after a week straight of drawing tiny houses. Getting faster meant I'd have more energy left to polish the pages and get them looking nicer.

The process of getting faster has been kind of a fits-and-starts situation. Drawing that many humanoid figures over and over again eventually means you just get better at the parts you're less sure of, so the process of lining the pages has gotten rather faster since I don't need to burn as much time getting the character poses and lines right. Currently, depending on page complexity, I can fairly consistently get 3-5 pages fully lined in one night. Backgrounds have also gotten faster, and I tend to do those in large batches, sometimes filling out entire chapters with location backgrounds and skyboxes because the scene location isn't going to change and that makes it easier to keep it consistent.

Initially my backgrounds were both more complicated and worse-looking, which is a bad combination.

I ended up deciding between chapters that painstakingly lining a bunch of background trees probably wasn't worth the effort, and worked on finding a shortcut that would work better. I ended up doing something a little more lineless, a shortcut I initially discovered because I didn't want to plug in my drawing tablet and was playing around with things I could do with just my trackpad.

It was simpler, faster, not too jarring, and it meant my clearly-lined foreground figures were more naturally visually separated from the distant background. Win-win-win.

For the style of coloring I do, I tend to shade before I add color, though this is a shortcut I didn't figure out until something like chapter 6. This process is also pretty fast, all things considered, though I've had a lot of practice doing this kind of cel shading which is why I can hammer out a lot of pages' worth of shading quite quickly.

I like working in batches of about one scene, often broken up into subgroups of 4-6 pages at a time, so I can't give a front-to-back turnaround for an individual page - but I also think this kind of assembly-line process has sped up the process overall and makes it more fun for me, because I can storyboard basically as far in advance as I want to, which in turn makes it easier for me to motivate myself to keep going, because I know there's all kinds of good stuff I'm looking forward to drawing down the line. There's some good shit I'm excited for in Chapter 21, and bursts of enthusiasm on the storyboard end of things often translate to enthusiasm on the page-finalizing end which makes it easier to slog through even the tedious bits.

As a bonus, working ahead means the story's got a better chance of making sense and having good pacing when it's read back as an archive. Another win-win.

Overall the greatest optimization tool I can recommend is just working on the project. There's no better way to identify the parts that feel unnecessarily slow and could be changed, or the parts of your art you're unsure of that need polish to get more speedy. If you're planning on publishing the comic anywhere, I recommend building up a buffer beforehand - something like the first chapter (or in my case, first three chapters) will give you a very good sense of what parts need more practice or improvement as you move forward. And it is genuinely easier to motivate yourself to continue if you have an audience giving you positive feedback and/or panicking at what you're doing to their darlings.

#asks #art stuff #writing stuff

[ppoppokari]

🐯🐾...overall ship...🐯🐾

@quruxbadan

okay here's the tea, i was so excited to do this ship for you! i just love doing your requests, you're such an angel and it such an honour to ship you with the coolest idols ever.

i'm just biased with this ship, so sorry if you don't agree with me but this is where it's at.

know that i'm always here for your requests and just to talk and yeah! love you heaps mate xo

~seventeen~ hoshi 🐯🐾

This was the quickest choice I have ever made for a ship,  there is something about you that is so precious, your cloud photos, your face, your personality IT IS ALL SO PRECIOUS WTF????!!!! So, I had to do Hoshi a favour and ship you with him.

I think you would be doing him a favour by dating him, okay that sounds harsh, but  I mean it was all the love and respect I have for him. Hoshi is such a genuine, quirky, adorable, sexy  guy and he really does need someone who would make his days infinitely better and that is you.

At first Hoshi would just think you were a nice person, that you just wanted to have a mutual friendship and in some ways you did. However, you could not get over him, he lived in your mind rent free 24/7, he was your go to when you were sad, when you were excited or when you wanted to relax. He was your person.

Even though Hoshi is somewhat unaware of your feelings it took him .5 seconds to say yes to going on a date with you, he has a literal skip in his step and a sparkle in his heart whenever he is around you so he always knew he would date you one day, if you liked him that is.

I will try not to swoon over your appearance, but you are literally the cutest human being on this planet, I think I’ve said this before but you’re the only person I’ve seen who has Nayeon visuals, I still stand by this statement! I just can’t get over the resemblance, you literally have the same sweet smile and the most adorable look in your eyes.

There is also this sense of elegance that I honestly can’t get over, you just seem like such a good person. Besides that, imagining you in the same room as Hoshi is an overload, you are just so complimentary to each other and it’s actually insane.

Even though it’s so tempting to force the two of you together based on the overall, cuteness factor I have to say, Hoshi has something more striking in his visuals. It’s almost iconic, someone so sweet has such powerful visuals, he is the tiger.

For this reason, it’s just so complimentary, the contrast I mean. Visually speaking you’re quite distinct from one another but again that’s what makes this such a beautiful pairing. I know I’m gushing but you’re literally his best visual match.

Now onto my  favourite part (especially because it’s you we’re talking about), personality. I hinted at it earlier, but you are literally such an angel and I want to discuss this more. Since you have such a rich personality the only way, I can describe it like you are this beautiful cottage core fairy who enlightens everybody around you.

This is also the main reason as to why Hoshi loves you so much, you bring optimism, and you remind him of the sweeter more simpler aspects of life.

Though he tends to be very active and hyper most of the time, he would love nothing more than relaxing and indulging in your parfums, accessory making or any other artistic endeavours, he may act like he is clueless as hell but watch him make you the most beautiful things in the whole entire universe.

He also loves wearing anything you make.  Your quiet nature is something that also brings him in, he just feels so proud that he is cool enough to have someone who is equally as cool, just for him to love and to hold.  

#kpop ships #kpop matchups #overall ships #svt #seventeen #tiger edition #cute aesthetic

[thewales]

In regards to that anon talking about the 2018 stories, I remember being so annoyed at people laughing & having fun at those stories. People being like “oh so she’s not allowed to care about her work? now she’s criticised for working too much?”

Because, that was not the issue! Of course now we have more context but I remember even back then wanting to figuratively rip my hair out 😅 the reports were (as I remember them) that people were leaving their office due to unrealistic standards, the complaints were that she was texting, emailing, calling after office hours & then being unhappy when people didn’t answer or had done what she asked of them when the employee got to the office in the morning. Though I will be honest & say that I did give Meghan the benefit of doubt at first, that it was just a cultural clash of different work cultures 😕

No criticism or anything to the anon btw I’m just generally venting here also worker’s rights are a passion topic for Swedes so even for me it seems 😂 I’m guessing a big factor in this is me having mostly witnessed the Swedish & British reporting on those stories, so I don’t really know how it was reported to Americans… but yeah, to badly quote a Swedish royal reporter from that time “why is there so much rotation of staff there, what’s going on?”

I don't know if I tend to see things in a simpler way and I don't like to justify something in a lame way but one thing I never understood about this drama is that people justified it - for better or worse - as a cultural issue. What does culture have to do with it? I'm sure there are people in the USA who know they have to respect the working hours and rest periods of their employers, there are laws that protect those rights! At the same time, I imagine there are people in the UK who believe that their employees are available 24 hours a day and are always bothering them. This has more to do with the person and not the country they are from. So it was not that the employees were not used to so much work but that they were used to having bosses who respected their rest time. They respected their working hours and their abilities. The problem I think is that Meghan had something to prove and was eager to prove it. The problem is that Meghan was a terrible boss. Simple as that. I think everyone is looking at the wrong side of the story, what we should be talking about here is worker's rights violations.

How it was reported to the public in the US… basically that British people are not hard workers and that Meghan was and they didn't like it.

#the suxs #RRs

[my-reality-my-rules]

Hai! so quick question, do you think our dreams are just us seeing a glimpse of our other version's/variant's lives in that universe?

Once, I had a dream so vivid, I questioned myself if I successfully shifted because I scripted something a bit similar before. And then there were other times I had nightmares that slightly traumatized me, and I pitied my other self for having that life.

Also, thank you for answering my questions and I learned a lot from you. I can't wait to tell you when I finally shift. <33

[thanks for this ask!]

now, I'm not an expert on dreamwork, so if you're looking for advice on that, i might give you only the bare ideas of it. to answer your question, however; I'd like to think so, yeah.

even before knowing about the concept of dreams being other realities (something which i vaguely remember is discussed in marvel's multiverse of madness), i had always leaned towards the idea that dreams are the medium of transcendental communication.

I've started actively supporting it when i learned about plato's 'realm of forms' in philosophy class.

in simple terms, it states how the physical world we experience isn't the 'real' world, and instead reality lies beyond what is merely physical. that behind every object we know about, there exists an eternal and unchanging essence (or the being of the object). in even more simpler terms: the physical world is nice, but the world of ideas (your mind's world, basically) is even better. it's reminiscent of that one albus dumbledore quote; Of course it's happening inside your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it's not real?

for instance; a tree and its shadow. the shadow would imitate the tree, from its leaves to roots; everything that it appears to be, the shadow will take after its form. but the tree will vary—it can have round leaves, a thick trunk, or downturned branches. but there's an idea of what an actual tree should be, its 'one true form' (so to speak), even if it would have differing features and shadows each time.

that's the simplest explanation i could make for explaining what the theory of forms is. how dreams and separate realities factor into this is incorporated in a slightly separate manner.

you have your many realities (the multiverse, i guess), and each one is different from one another. it can be an HP DR, a royalty DR, a roblox DR, and what have you. but it stands that, with every shifter, there's always an ideal reality for them—and the ability of being able to conceptualise it is what makes reality shifting so versatile. if you can imagine all these worlds with all these different forms, then your mind is already a separate reality on its own.

and dreams, at least in my (admittedly, reaching) opinion, are what links each of these realities together; because your mind is the 'higher reality', and also the place where your ideas and your desires are conceived. there's an overlap, because the realm of ideas is the medium for shifting realities.

basically: your mind is the medium for both dreams and shifting, and because of that, with it being the connection for both phenomena, they can shingle over one another. you can shift to or during a dream, and you can also dream while or about shifting.

sorry for the long-winded statements; i always tend to want to make supporting arguments, just in case lmao.

I'm sorry if you had those nightmares too, to be honest. i don't know if you meant that in a joking manner, but regardless, i do agree with your sentiment. yes, there are realities far worse than the ones we want, have, or know about—but that's the truth of it, and you can't always do anything about it. the best way to go about it is to make peace with the situation, and try to go about with a better DR.

#please forgive me if this doesn't make sense #it sounded better in my head #i would also like to wholeheartedly apologise to plato for convoluting his theory in this manner #shifting #shifting realities #reality shifting #desired reality #shift #shifting shenanigans #Esther's shifting posts

[ac-liveblogs]

Hello! After reading your blog, I actually played Genshin for the first time! xD I didnt play for very long-I got to Liyue and then stopped after fetch-questing with Zhongli (and my laptop started to feel super hot while playing). Gameplay wise, its ok but working around skill cooldowns can be v frustrating. Narrative wise, Mondstadt was a pretty decent prologue! However I felt very disconnected with Liyue ngl. Running away from a crime scene and then listening to an enemy(Child) and then talking to some animal gods?? I straight up thought Paimon was going to frame mc for crime 💀 Zhongli’s actual personality was a shock but that was my fault since I thought he would be a softer less tyrant Gilgamesh 🙈 Getting through all of the dialogue was the biggest slog ever, the world exploration is nice but lvling up adventure rank was v time consuming. I think I’m probably biased towards BOTW but man, I felt more engaged in BOTW’s world and narrative then I do with Genshin ngl 😅

Hi anon! I definitely feel you on all of that… I kinda feel like Genshin is one of those games you play, but don't recommend to others… I hope you enjoyed the good parts, at least! Or, uh, sorry you went through that?

God, I just. I remember enjoying Mondstadt, but kind of filing it away as "it'll get stronger later, it's the first chapter" and then while playing Liyue just spending so long grinding between AR ranks that I completely forgot what happened between chapters? And being absolutely baffled when I re-read it together all at once. Why do we care about Rex Lapis' corpse…? I seriously thought Childe was using us to orchestrate an Adepti/Qixing war in the first half. I think I passed through the entire Liyue chapter wondering when the characters were going to get interesting, because I remember watching people get Very Excited about Ganyu and Xiao's characters off the Liyue chapter alone and thinking "………………..really?"

Playing liyue chapter like "ok this will make sense after the AR gate" and then just completely forgetting what happened before the AR gate because I spent a week clearing the map vibes. Ugh.

No AR gate now, Genshin. No slipping anything past me.

But interesting you should mention BOTW, because when I play big openworld games if I go long periods of time without plot where I just end up exploring for ages I tend to zone out and only half pay attention to what's happening - which absolutely happened in Liyue the first time around, and BOTW. As someone that wasn't as emotionally invested in BOTW but enjoyed exploring the map most of all, I definitely think it's a much better game than Genshin. It's a lot simpler in many aspects and all the stronger for it. Genshin… just has so much fat… levelling characters, waiting for resin, excess dialogue, AR ranks blocking off chapters…. I'm really looking forward to BOTW 2, uh, whenever that drops!

We should all return to the only gacha that matters: smashing geodes and hoping there's precious stones within.

ghh zhongliiii he's definitely supposed to be some wise kind enlightened type but i just think mhy don't REALISE when he does something morally dubious? at least nasu knows when gil is being a little bitch

#ac plays genshin impact

[sysig]

TFW you don’t know how to draw your own sona

#Doodles #Villainsona #Just Desserts #It seemed to keep getting worse lol #To be fair some of these were drawn a bit before the rest but weren't enough to post on their own #I was trying to relearn how to draw her hair since I somehow completely knocked it out of the park with my first ever doodle of her #How did I do that #That second one is pretty good but it's hard to replicate >:P #I don't know why! The simpler ones tend to look better so?? #It's also finding the right balance between poofiness and sleekness - and to avoid making her look clownlike lol #I have a carniesona already I'm good with this one looking like ice cream thanks #So it can't be too poofy at the base but it also can't be too immediately sleek up to the very top or it's just a cone fjdskafd #And then she looks like a completely different character with her hair down lol #The bows are cute tho and I always enjoy trying out different clothing #I'll settle on something I'm happy with and can be consistent with at some point

[kuronekonerochan]

Hi...how are you? If you don't mind me asking what are your top 5 favorite danmei novels (until now)? And why? Sorry if you've answered this question before.....

Hi, sorry for being slow at answering!

In no particular order:

Ok, so I liked the 3 from MXTX:

 - Grandmaster of Diabolic Cultivation/ Mo Dao Zu Shi 

This one I loved but it has a particular style that ppl might not like in that it feels jumpy, confusing and with information gaps while reading, even though eventually everything that matters does end up being explained...in other works this would probably be just lazy writing, but here it is clearly an intentional choice bc 1) she doesn’t do this in her other novels 2) this is in WWX’s pov and dude has heavy ptsd and adhd, plus he tends to pretend to take everything lightly as a coping mechanisms...all this put together and it’s easy to understand why the story has such an unreliable narrator that even the other characters constantly point it out. I ended up loving this extra layer of storytelling.

 - Heaven Official’s Blessings/ Tian Guan Ci Fu

If you’re in the mood for a saga type long ass novel with a ton of interesting side stories and side characters with a main character who is a true cinnamon bun in sweet romance with a side dish of sweet sweet aaaangst.

- Scum Villains Self Saving System

The most entertaining out of all of them. It manages to be a parody of two genres, both danmeis and wuia/jianghu harem het novels (fighter of destiny style) with OP leads, while also being its own cute and funny story with a heart to it.

From other authors:

 - Meatbun’s 2ha/ Dumb Husky and his White Cat Shizun 

What if someone took a look at the parody that is SVSSS and said...”no, you know what? This really deserves to be an epic, long ass, and I mean, topping old classics’ length novel packed with angst, filled with pain and topped with despair...and then we’re sprinkling some funfetti on top to fool y’all”...and you know what? that’s some good cake. (If you’re into cdramas SVSSS is to 2ha what The Romance of Tiger and Rose is to Goodbye My Princess).

- Priest’s Sha Po Lang:

Steampunk China plus creepy voodoo tribal ritual magic, involved in internal and external wars over petrol (with a different name) and with our leads in Iron Man suits, fighting, among other enemies hot young(er) hands on, on the field, western troop General, the Pope, that I can only visualize in my head as Jude Law. I tell you all of this nonsense just to say that instead of the ridiculous fun this should be, it ends up being a very compelling romance with lots of scheming and heavy plot and some heartbreaking scenes.

- The Golden Stage:

This is a court drama type novel with friends-to-rivals-to-lovers that is just the right length and compelling with not too many plot twists but two main characters who are really great both individually and together and this is the one out of all in the list I feel like re reading the most. It really is a solid read and I feel like I’m selling it short, bc it really is good. It is similar to Sha Po Lang and To Rule in a Turbulent World, a simpler version of those but not worse for it.

(Since you said top 5 and I’ve said 6, I regretfully cut down Heaven Official’s Blessing bc even though I love it, unlike MDZS or SVSSS, it didn’t feel like a standalone novel because some of the several storylines of the side characters that I loved were left open ended (although the main characters had a complete story arc), as if this book was supposed to be the first of a series and those characters would have their own spinoff books where I’d know where their story took them...except this really is a standalone, and so the lack of resolution bothers me).

>> Honorable Mentions:

- To Rule in a Turbulent World

This one doesn’t go in the top 5 list yet bc it’s not fully translated, last time I checked (tho it’s very near the end). As an ongoing novel, I adore it. If the ending isn’t terrible it might be in my top 3. It’s similar to the two above in plotlines but it has a quality to it that it takes care to make every character in it multidimensional. There are no good and bad characters, even the ones on the opposite side are given something that makes them relatable and human. Plus, the characters all change throughout the novel, most of all the protagonists and the novel gives itself breathing time between events where you just chill with the characters and learn about random things like agricultural practices. 

- The Wife Is First

This one is just that light fluff feel good one that is great to pick up from time to time since it’s on going. Dumb Jock husband did everything wrong in his first life, gets a re-do and from then on it’s adorable respect the spouse juice and awe of said spouse smarts. Cute. Also, there’s a baby pet tiger.

>> Others I did like, just not in the top 5:

 -Faraway Wanderers and Lord Seventh/Qi Ye by Priest:

Qi Ye is similar to To Rule in A Turbulent World/The Golden Stage/Sha Po Lang. I really liked it still, just a tiny bit less than these. Since it’s the same author as SPL and I think it was written earlier, I have to say, the writing only got better.

Faraway Wanderers is a short read, but you’re only gonna like it if you’re ok with amoral main characters (I guess that is true for many on this list but it’s more obvious in this one bc the novel and the characters are unapologetic about it).

- YuWu by Meatbun - Still reading it, but is isn’t grabbing me like 2ha did.

>> I assumed you only wanted danmeis as in period fantasy bl novels, but if we go modern, fantasy or not:

 - Silent Readings by Priest:

I love crime fiction novels (love Ding Mo’s novels) and this is that type of conspiracy, murder novel with smart criminals and smart investigators. Little romance, but still there.

 - Guardian by Priest: 

Priest is hilarious and except the last part that gets a bit heavy on the lore this is just a joy to read. Also pretty short.

- Advance Bravely:

I read it a long time ago and it’s okayish, with some cute and some weird, problematic characters. 

- Addicted/ Heroin:

Also read it (this is 2 books) ages ago...and this one is NOT cute. It starts out as a pretty normal, but kind of toxic very typical oldschool drama/manga romance right down to the step brothers’ trope....and then it keeps escalating to new levels of WTF am I reading?!! All I have to say for this one is, that while I cannot recommend it per se, nor say it’s good, the title really is fitting, bc it is addictive as f.

#ask #asks #thank you for the ask #addicted heroin cdrama #advance bravely #guardian #silent readings #yuwu #faraway wanderers #qi ye #tian ya ke #tian guan ci fu #heaven official's blessing #to rule in a turbulent world #the wife is first #the golden stage #sha po lang #scumbag villain self saving system #2ha #mo dao zu shi #svsss #priest #cnovels #cdramas #the untamed #bl novel #word of honor

[donutloverxo]

Hold onto me

Note - This was a request by a lovely nonnie. And my first entry to august challenge hosted by two lovely friends @navybrat81 and @stargazingfangirl18.I choose the prompt 'I don't deserve you' and 'let me love you, you sad smoll bean'. Cause that's how I feel about Steeb🥺.

Summary - You just want to take care of your sad and overworked soldier.

Warnings - light smut, angst, sad steeb.

Pairing - Steve Rogers x reader

Word count - 2.3k

Masterlist is linked in the bio!

Steve remembers dragging you to watch the live action remake of Cinderella as soon as it hit the theatres. And how you sweetly giggled at his giddiness calling him 'adorkable'.

Normally he would be annoyed at someone laughing at his expense, as it reminded him of himself before the serum, but not with you.

He couldn’t help but be a ‘fanboy’, another modern slang you taught him, he grew up with those movies, they were reminded him of a simpler time. The remakes weren’t nearly as good but he loved sharing the experience with you.

He was in awe of just how beautiful Cinderella’s dress was. How they took some elements from the animated movie and made them better. He cried when Cinderella’s mother said the words ‘Always be kind and have courage'. It was exactly what his Ma taught him.

Those were the principals he lived by everyday. Being kind to others and never running in the face of adversity.

But he froze when the world was crashing around him. Being attacked from all sides, so much murder, such mayhem. So many lives lost, and for the life of him he couldn’t figure out why. What was the purpose of all this destruction.

He tried his best. To save as many as he could. To be the captain. Make the hard choices. People expected him to be brave. To be heartless and objective. To not let the missions and the lives lost affect him.

It was tiring to pretend. To put the mask on, not just his patriotic blue cowl, but the one he wore to work everyday. Being stern and grave. Yeah he was big and intimidating but underneath it all he’ll always just be the little guy.

He groaned, the steps creaking under the weight of his foot, exhausted from his long day of fighting the enemies on the battlefield, then Ross and then pushing paperwork. He hasn’t slept in three days.

But right now sleep or his rumbling stomach wasn’t his priority. All he could think about was you. How he hasn’t seen you in so long. Yeah maybe three days isn’t that long but it felt akin to an eternity to him.

Just two more floors. Somehow the creaking kept getting louder. When he moved in with you, in an apartment in the heart of Brooklyn, he felt it was old but had character. Now looking at the state of it and your neighbors, he’s having second thoughts. He can’t leave you for days or even weeks at a time in this place. There’s no way it could be safe.

He knocked on the door, his enhanced hearing picked up that you were in the shower. So he twisted the doorknob. Only to find you had left it unlocked. Again.

He sighed chugging his shoes and jacket off and crashing on the bed. A hand under his head, he stared at the little stickers of stars and planets you stuck on it, glowing a faint neon green in the dark. He patiently waited for you. Feeling better as he was surrounded by your smell. He was home.

“Oh Stevie!” You exclaimed when you saw him lying on the bed. Rushing over to him you sat next to him, kissing his forehead, cheeks, nose and then his lips. Lingering there for a minute you pulled away to see his warm smile.

“Hey doll.” He greeted caressing your cheek. You leaned into his touch, craving the warmth and the comfort it provided. “You left the door unlocked.” He said trying his best to keep his annoyance at bay.

“Oh yeah I must’ve forgot.” You shrugged.

“You can’t forget” He groaned and sternly called out your name. It was rare of him to use your name. Always opting instead to use sweet nicknames like doll or sugar. “We need to move to an apartment with better security.” He shook his head feeling his whole body ache and his muscles completely sore.

“Fine. We can discuss it I guess.” You mumbled not exactly thrilled to have him school you as soon as he got back.

“In the meantime I need you to promise me you’ll always lock the door.” He said looking at you intently.

“Yeah fine I promise.” You huffed and blew a small raspberry at him to which he frowned. “I doubt a locked door is stopping hydra though.” You quipped.

And he had to rub his temples to sooth the headache you were giving him.

His other hand was still on your face. Because yeah you were being difficult but he needed to touch you. To know that you’re tangible and really there with him.

His touch felt more calloused and harsh than it usually does. You looked at his hand to see his skin was red, some of it peeled off. It looked like it was healing. You couldn’t even imagine how bad it must’ve been just a few hours ago. “What happened here?” You cooed touching his face only to hear him hiss. You quickly shifted to turn on the bedside lamp but his hand stopped you, circling around your wrist.

“Doll don’t.” He said trying to keep the gruffness from his voice but it slipped out. There was no lying to you. You knew him in and out. “Just come here.” He requested opening his arms, hoping you’d lay your head on his chest so he could smell your hair, maybe run his hands through it. The silky texture of it always soothed him the best.

You only huffed folding your hands. “No I’ll hurt you.” You never believed the day would come that you turned down cuddling with the giant you had for a boyfriend. Who gives off heat as if he’s a furnace.

The room was dim, with the only light coming from your windows, but you could tell that he was probably pouting. Who knew captain America could be so needy? Not that you’d ever mind.

You shifted a bit towards the headboard and gently laid his head from the pillow to your lap. “You know I should be the one taking care of you right now.” You lightly scratching his scalp with your nails and playing with the short strands of his golden hair. Which somehow still seemed to shine.

“I don’t know about that. I think the man should always be taking care of his girl.” He hummed feeling dizzy and relaxed under your touch.

You scoffed “Who told you that? This isn’t a one sided relationship. As much as I like being dotted on, you deserve the world too babe.” You ranted petting his forehead “I wish you could see that.” You sighed “You don’t always have to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders you know?”

He hummed again. “Well I’m not gonna burden you with it.”

And you wanted to argue. You really did. But it wasn’t the right time. You made a mental note of giving him hell for it when he seems even slightly better. To threaten to withhold your sweet kisses he loved so much if he doesn’t open up. If it comes to that.

He groaned shifting on his back and crackling his neck. You put his head back on the pillow and stood up to work on unzipping his jeans. “Hey hey buy a fella dinner first would you?” You grinned as he teased.

He lifted his hips to help you out and you put the jeans on your dresser, digging for your eucalyptus oil in it. “Aha!” You gushed to yourself when you found it and skipped over to his side instantly. You pulled up the helm of black Henley “Off with this..” You said asking for some assistance from him.

He sat up and suppressed a groan as his back muscles strained at the sudden movement. He searched for your face “You know I love you and uh... making love to you.” He muttered under his breath and was glad to you couldn’t see his flushed face. How he had no shame doing such dirty things to you but couldn’t for the life of him talk about them, he had no idea.

“But I’m just so tired. I’m sorry doll.” He said tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. He had never turned you down before, he was nervous that he had let you down. He’d been letting a lot of people down lately. Even if he had the best intentions.

“No silly...” you shook your head “Just take it off” You pulled the thing and he held his arms up to pull it off. “I promise I won’t take advantage of you.” You pressed a kiss over his heart and laughed at your own incredulous statement.

He let out a chuckle too and pressed his lips to the top of your head. Finally getting to smell your beautiful scent and your coconut shampoo he loved so much.

“Will you lay on your stomach for me please?” You asked fluttering your lashes at him.

And he could only smile. You didn’t have to butter him up, he’d really do whatever you asked him to.

He laid on his taut stomach, propping his head up by putting both his hands under it. He looked at you move over his shoulder.

You poured some oil in your palms and rubbed them together to warm them up. “Um is it okay if I sit on your back?” you asked pressing your palms on his lower back.

“Have at it.” He replied.

You straddled his lower back, careful to not put too much pressure and putting your weight on your calves. “Loosen up a bit Stevie.” You purred.

You felt the knots in his back loosening up when you applied just the right amount of pressure below his neck with your thumbs. He was moaning and purring, making all sorts of sinful noises as you worked on his back.

You wondered if it’s because of the serum. You weren’t that great at it, you knew that. But all of Steve’s sense were hypersensitive. Maybe he felt your massage better because of that. It was an interesting idea.

“Do your hands hurt baby?” He drawled. You were happy to know that you were doing something right if he relaxed like that.

“Uh...” They were starting to hurt. But you needed to tend to Steve. Your hurt was nothing compared to hiss. He was out there saving the whole world everyday.

He looked over his shoulder at you sensing the hesitation in your tone. “It’s okay sweetheart. Let’s go to bed.”

You nodded putting the bottle away and climbing into bed with him. “Turn around doll” He instructed.

You laid on your side with your back pressed against his chest. You could feel his chiselled abs and the curves and dips of his torso. What you wouldn’t give to run your hands or your lips down it.

He snaked his hand up your tank and drew small circles around your navel. “This always happens when we cuddle.” He rumbled rolling his hips against yours. “You’re so soft baby” He squeezed the curve of your hip “I can’t help it.” He whispered in your ear before pulling it between his teeth.

You could only moan and try so hard not to give into him. You slapped his hip so as to stop his ministrations. “Maybe tomorrow. I want to be able to walk to work. Thank you very much.” You huffed hugging his hand, which was curled around your waist, close you and slipping it between your breasts.

You closed your eyes trying to count sheep. But sleep wouldn’t come. Not until you knew that Steve was asleep as well. “What happened on the mission Steve?” You tentatively asked. Hoping that you weren’t being too invasive. Maybe you should give him more space? You just needed him to feel light.

“You don’t have to worry about that doll.” He answered kissing your temple.

You turned around to face him so you could see the silhouette of his face. “I always worry for you Steve. I just – I don’t know – want you to feel like you can’t depend on me or trust me.”

“I do trust you.” Be stated “Alright... so we try our best to save everyone. But we can’t always do that. People get hurt.” He took a deep breathe, not used to saying these things out loud. “they call it collateral damage” he scoffed “Ends justify the means in this world. Or maybe that’s how it’s always been.” He finished.

You took in the weight of his words “I understand. But that doesn’t make it any less shitty though.”

“No it does not.” He mused. “It’s somehow worse now. I think about you. And how I need to protect you too. I don’t think I could ever bear losing you.” He confessed.

“You won’t ever lose me Stevie.” You promised.

“How did I get to be so lucky to have you? I don’t deserve you.” He wondered bringing your fingers closer to his lips.

“I don’t know, maybe people would argue you’re the lucky one.” You retorted.

“Well then they’re clearly blind.” He frowned at the thought of anyone being mean to you.

“Alright lover boy. Go to sleep now.” You said putting your head on his shoulder. “Isn’t it nice to be back in your own bed?” You asked as you nuzzled his neck.

“You have no idea doll.” He murmured.

Tags will be in the reblog! Lemme know if you wanna be tag via ask/dms or click the link in the bio!

Please note that my work is NOT to be reposted or published anywhere other than my Tumblr or AO3 account without my permission. Reblogs are most welcome though!

#shamelesshoesforchris #steve rogers x reader #chris evans x you #steve x reader #reader x steve rogers #steve rogers x you #steve rogers fanfiction #captain america x you #captain america x reader #marvel x reader #chris evans x reader #Avengers x reader

[writingoneshots]

Hello :D I really liked your last story with Law and the other with Killer!! I would also like to request something and if you don't wanna write it that's fine too. Idc about the scenario in general but how about Kid and reader fighting about almost everything daily and Kid gets pissed off and breaks up with reader. Then he finds out that she's pregnant and suddenly feels bad. You decide if they get back together or not :D

Hormones

Hi :) ! I had way too many ideas with this, which is why I randomly decided to just let my brain write what comes to its mind first. This is the result. I really hope you like it! Also.. I got a little carried away. Let me know if you don't like it, I can re-write it any time (for example: if you want a bad ending).

Ps: I tend to use names from my personal FF's because it's sometimes too strenuous to write 'Killer's girlfriend' or 'xy's partner'.. might happen in future stories as well but I will always announce it in the description first!

Have a nice day!

- Kid x reader (I also added 'Bella', who is Killer's girlfriend - I needed a name, sorry) - 2,492 words - drama, fighting, swearing, lots of thinking, SFW

The nights were almost as painful as the rest of the day lately. Kid couldn't stand not talking to you and for more than two weeks, you two have been barely speaking. The only sort of communication you two have is screaming and make-up sex, followed by another fight in the morning after. Kid loved you with his whole existence but he just couldn't take it any longer. If there was nothing fixing it tomorrow, then he would have to end it since even his crew has been in constant fear of getting killed by their own captain because he has been in a bad mood since your first fight. In the next morning, you took a quick shower and put on some clothes for breakfast. You tried your best not to think of Kid, even though you didn't know why. When you arrived at the restaurant, where the crew had been meeting up in the last couple of days, the ship's doctor patted at the empty seat next to him to offer you a seat.

He immediately used that chance and handed you some fresh fruits, "(Y/N) we really need to talk about your blood results from last week." "I know it's bad. I barely had any sleep in the last few weeks and I also have constant pain in my stomach.. could be because your captain is pissing me off lately. Stress and blah blah..", you rolled your eyes and grabbed the food before he could continue talking. "Oh, I see. This is my fault now too?", Kid came out of the bathroom and dried his hands on his little towel, which he carried around tied on his belt. You looked at him startled and didn't expect him to be here already. With a soft headshake, you just began eating the fruits, which the doctor handed you and sighed a bit. The table was quiet when Kid sat down, which was unusual. Kid ate his breakfast slowly, trying to figure out what to do or say. He looked at you, watched you eating silently and got lost in his thoughts. Should I give her a compliment? She looks good today.. But she doesn't deserve it. She didn't even want to have sex yesterday. Not even cuddling or making out.. Bitch. But if I don't say anything, she'll be mad as well. I really don't want her to leave. Fuck. Stupid woman. Suddenly a burst of loud laughter appeared from a table nearby and Kid couldn't help but take a look. A group of women was laughing about something funny that a guy has said, who was sitting with them. They were all having a good time. Kid was jealous. His table was usually the loudest one and now nobody was speaking at all. Again. His eyes wandered to the woman, who had a similar outfit as you when you once roleplayed in bed. This whole night suddenly played like a recording in his head and he couldn't help but spark a little interest again. You realized that Kid had stopped eating and when you looked at him, you realized that he was completely lost into something. Following his gaze, you didn't need too long to figure out what it was. Another woman. Kid was never interested in anyone else but you and didn't even dare to stare at someone else. But this was more than just staring. He was longing for her. "Why don't you just go and ask her to spend the night with you?", you looked at him angrily and pushed your plate aside. Kid frowned at that statement and looked confused at you. "What?" "So now you're also staring at other women? Why are you even with me? Always fighting with me, not having sex with me, staring at other women, and just being a complete idiot!", you tried to hide the tears in your eyes but it was all just too much for you. His eyes widened. He was really about to lose his mind and he had no idea how he managed to control his inner self from not exploding. "Are you fucking kidding me?", he whispered and his knuckles turned white as snow because of how hard he made a fist. "I have no fucking clue, why you're fucking mad at me. So you better shut the fuck up, before I do something that I will regret." "Oh really? And what would that be?", you crossed your arms at your chest and leaned back into the chair. "(Y/N), I am asking you now for the last fucking time. Shut. The Fuck. Up.", Kid looked down at his plate and closed his eyes right after. The metal around him began to vibrate and you raised an eyebrow at this reaction. "Guys.. please.. I can help with-" The doctor didn't have a chance to explain himself. "No, come on. Say it, Kid. What is going on in that mind of yours? Are you going to fight me again? Ignore me again? Hm?", you wiped your tears away and took a deep breath to prepare yourself for whatever he would say. "We're over." Silence. No one in this crew dared to say a word. Even Killer froze and hated himself for not interfering. You couldn't comprehend what he just said but your brain somehow understood. After taking a deep breath, you stood up without saying a word and left the restaurant. A few minutes have passed before the first one spoke up. Killer waited for the metal to stop vibrating and gave Kid a few more seconds to breathe. "You know what you just did, right?", he talked in a soft tone

and watched how Kid was slightly shaking. He could see the regret in his eyes but had no idea how to help him. "I couldn't stand this any longer.", was the only thing that Kid has said that day. He disappeared until the night has covered the skies and came back to the crew helping to carry a few things into a different cabin. Apparently, a few arrangements have been made while Kid was gone. His head was completely empty and he couldn't care less about what has happened during his absence. He just wanted to lay down and wasn't even sure if he wanted to be alone or not. Bella, Killer's girlfriend, carried your things into the girls' sleeping room where she had already spend her nights with Heat's girlfriend as well. Kid couldn't help but think of the good times when the ship only had men on board. Life was much simpler back then he would do anything to get back to it. Killer approached Kid slowly and eyed him carefully. "You seem.. calm?" Kid gave him a short side-eye and turned his attention back to the crew re-decorating his ship. "She's going to leave the ship on the next island.", Killer commented and took a deep breath. "Are you still sure about this? That you don't want to be with her?" He wasn't. But he also didn't know how to work this out. This was the first time in his life that Kid had no idea what to do. "C-captain.. I tried talking to (Y/N) but she keeps avoiding me. May I talk to you instead?", the doctor of the ship was holding some papers tight in his hands, dithering slightly. "You really think that now is a good time to talk?", Killer scratched his head and wasn't sure if this doctor was smart or stupid as hell. "Get out of my sight, man. I don't have time for bullshit right now.", Kid pushed the doctor away and walked right past him. The doctor couldn't take it any longer. "IF AT LEAST ONE OF YOU WOULD LISTEN TO ME, NONE OF THIS WOULD HAVE HAPPENED!", he screamed out of his lungs. When he suddenly realized what he just did, he wanted to jump off the ship. The whole crew went silent and stopped in their current motion. Even Killer went a step back and someone in the background started praying. Kid turned around and made two large steps towards the doctor, grabbing him by his shirt and lifting him without any struggles. His eyes were glowing in anger and his muscles were tensed, focused not to kill him within two seconds. "You have only one sentence to save your life, asshole." "(Y/N) is pregnant!" The doctor spitted that out, faster than a gun's shot. Kid froze. His grip on the doctor's shirt loosened and he stood still like a statue. The doctor got pushed to the side and Killer asked him several times if he was sure about this. The doctor nodded and showed him the results. "The mood swings, the pain in her stomach, her sex drive and the morning sickness. The blood results are proof enough.", the doctor showed it to Killer but it was worthless because Killer didn't understand any of these things. Kid let his arm slowly down and turned around, facing the corridor to the cabins. She is pregnant.. That's why she was behaving like a bitch and hated the fact that I was existing. Pregnant.. Shit. I am going to be a father? I am going to have kids.. A Kid having kids.. I can already hear the jokes. Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. Why am I so shocked? I never used any condoms with that woman. It's my fault. But also hers. Just because I stopped asking her to swallow.. For fucks sake. Is that bad? Can't we get rid of that? I could just leave it on an island.. but then (Y/N) would kill me or even leave me to be with that child and- Wait.. no.. nonono.. she's not even mine.. she can't leave me because I- I- .. I broke up. "Killer.. I have never seen Kid like this.", Heat looked more sad than usual and didn't know what to say. "Is he broken?" "No, he's probably just trying to think. You know.. he's barely doing that, which is why he is in this situation right now.", Killer shrugged and didn't let Kid out of his sight. This stance always meant that Kid was battling his inner self and Killer knew that his best

friend could have a mental breakdown right afterwards, which usually ends up in a killing spree every time. But this time, Kid just shook his head and went straight to the ship's corridor. He pushed away other crew members and entered the women's cabin without knocking. Heat's girlfriend was unpacking your things, while you were in the bathroom throwing up. Kid took a deep breath and approached the bathroom, now knocking softly. "Give us a second!", Killers girlfriend screamed and opened the door right after. She shrieked at the sight of Kid, not expecting to see him here. "She's not feeling well, Kid.", Bella explained carefully and blocked the sight to you. "I know. Let me talk to her." "I don't think-" "It's alright..", you sighed and washed your face right after cleaning your mouth. Bella looked at you to make sure you're okay and nodded before leaving you two alone. Kid entered the bathroom and locked the door afterwards. He wasn't sure how to start this conversation but he couldn't stop looking at you. The thought of not being the one, to own you and actually being the reason why you're feeling sick, made him feel uneasy. "If it's about me being here then I-" "Shut up." You looked at him confused and didn't know what to do now. After drying your face with a towel, you watched Kid carefully as he approached you. "What are you doing?" "Stop talking.", he commanded and took a deep breath when he stopped right in front of you. His arms wrapped around you as well as his one metal arm allowed. But his flesh arm pulled you closer to him and kissed your head. "I am sorry for causing you pain. This is all my fault.. A little bit of yours too but mostly mine.", he whispered because he was more than just sure that Bella and Heat's girlfriend were listening on the other side of the door. "What has gotten into you? Are you drunk? You do remember that you broke up, right?", you frowned but didn't move away. Your cheek rested on his chest but you didn't hug him back. "(Y/N).. please forgive me. I was a dick. You can do anything to me.. hit me, scream at me, I don't care. Just please be mine again.", he mumbled against your skin, hiding his face in the crook of your neck. Tears were building up in your eyes and you hated yourself for it because you didn't know why you became such a crybaby. "Are you sure about that? I don't want you to hate me!" "I could never hate you.." "But something is going on with us and I don't want this.. I want it to be like before.", tears were running down your cheek and you tried to wipe them away but new ones were rolling down right after.

"It will be.. after our child is born.", he kissed your head once more and waited for your reaction. "Wait... what?", you froze and sniffed against his chest. When you looked up, your eyes met his' and you didn't talk for a few minutes. Then it hit you. It suddenly all made sense. "I.. I am pregnant..", you took a deep breath and couldn't believe it. There was nothing in this world that could have prepared you for this moment. But you and Kid are going to be parents. You two didn't have a bad relationship. You were just too emotional and Kid wasn't used to it, which is why you both started fighting all the time. You weren't quite sure if knowing this fact would change anything in the next few months but you felt better. "We are going to have a child..", tears were rolling down your cheeks again and your heart was beating fast because of how excited you were. "Yea.. I would celebrate this with a kiss but you just threw up.. Disgusting.", Kid shook his head and pulled you tight to him again, lifting you up softly. "Also, I won't change a single diaper. Telling you right away." "I will squeeze a giant baby out of your favorite part of me. You don't have a say in that.", you chuckled and shook your head.

"Did you just laugh? I haven't heard that in weeks. Sounds like make-up sex to me.", Kid smirked and let you down on the bathroom sink, already ripping off your clothes. "I guess Daddy has a new meaning for you now?", you teased him a little and had to laugh at how he suddenly cringed. "Add this to the forbidden words in the bedroom."

#one piece #onepiece #requests #openrequests #onepiecexreader #eustass kid #eustass kid x reader #readerxeustasskid #heat #kid #eustass #killer #massacre soldier #vegapunk #one shot #one piece one shot

[painted-crow]

hey so i'm looking to figure my sorting out. i'm p sure of my secondary but honestly i've gone in circles so many times that i'd believe anything lmao

so i guess to start like. i'm fairly sure i'm an idealist, but with a twist. i care about making the world a better place-- i'm kinda infamous among my friends for being a little TOO outspoken about my opinions. on a small scale, i have strong opinions about a lot of things, but on a larger scale... idk. i don't think any one person can know what an ideal world looks like cause there really is no such thing. there are literally countless variables when it comes to implementing even small systems, countless ways to fuck it up, so i don't think i'd be choosing some grand ideal over the people i love anytime soon.

that being said, i think my idealist streak gets directed into something else most of the time. i'm very focused on understanding myself to a fault. i want to know why i do the things i do, why i believe certain things over others. when it comes to my beliefs about the world, they're strong but take it or leave it, but when it comes to myself they are not a good idea to push. i've ended relationships over not feeling like myself with them or feeling like i'm losing myself or they're pushing me to be someone i'm not. i make strong instant decisions about what the "right" thing to do is when it comes to how it impacts my perception of myself, especially with intimate relationships (i'm a lot less impulsive with things like friends and things i'm less personally involved in). i NEED to know who i am, way more than i care about any one specific person or thing. obviously i love people very deeply and would do just about anything to have both, but if i don't know who i am, if i'm not true to myself, then i have nothing. losing people happens.

the issue is, because i'm prone to doing that and not thinking as much about how it'll impact people, i've been called selfish a lot over my lifetime. recently i've started thinking more about how my actions impact people and their feelings, and i'm feeling a lot more torn. i want to do what i want to do, what i feel is best, but i feel immature for doing it a lot. i've started worrying a lot about being a bad person and hurting people, and i've been thinking about how the "right" way to be is. i went through a phase where i was repressing myself to make the "moral" choice, but i just felt so flat. ultimately i realized that it doesn't really matter how good i am if i have to repress myself to get there, cause then all it is is performance. tldr is i feel super guilty for making "selfish" choices rn, especially as i've gotten more aware of other peoples' feelings.

what i think is probably going on is that i'm an idealist primary with a badger model, but i'm not sure between lion and bird, and i'm still open to badger. pretty sure i'm not a snake.

the section on my secondary's gonna be a lot shorter, sorry this got so long! so i'm p sure i'm a badger secondary. considered lion and snake secondary too. whatever i am, i have a p loud lion model over it. i've always had a gift for making people trust me, for acting. i kinda blend in and become what i need to to both help them and get them off my back so i can do what i need to do. i have a serious passion for helping people with tough love (i like to think of myself as a p good advice giver, since i can both tell people what they need to hear and really get in their shoes and be kind where other people might not). i think i judge myself the least when i can kinda toe that line between pushing boundaries and stepping back-- i track where peoples' boundaries are constantly so i can push them to the limit without stepping over them. i'm very fluid when it comes to presentation in reality, even though i think people actually think of me as kinda controversial. i tend to see people who are ACTUALLY overstepping boundaries as lowkey selfish at times, even though i also really respect them. i like to do things the "right" way as long as i give a shit about them. the catch is, i don't want to blend into the background, and i don't think i do. a partner of mine called me a fox cause he noticed the way i constantly toe that line where i can get people to notice me and still keep them off my back, still make them comfortable. i'm also NOT a planner. people constantly give me shit for only ever feeling things out in the moment, and honestly thinking about the future freaks me out. i don't want to plan how i do shit i'd rather just get in the zone and figure it out from there. tldr i'm pretty sure i'm a badger secondary? but i could be convinced of snake. definitely see elements of both but my gut's telling me badger so take that how you will

anyway! thank you so much for taking the time to answer this, i know it's a lot.

also sorry one thing i forgot to add about my secondary! i think my lion model got so loud because when i do the shifty presentation thing, i have a tendency to lose myself and start perceiving myself as whatever i'm presenting. it's made it really hard to figure out who i actually am and so i started just being as clear about it as possible.

for my primary, i really care a lot about being right. i try to take every side into consideration to make sure i get the best conclusion. i can be super stubborn when it comes to certain things, but i don't want to just... hold to perceptions that are wrong. that being said it's important to me to trust my gut and i take it as a big input. i'm very felt out for most things, don't really have a strong system of how to be. i really wanna be able to trust myself but i just don't. i have a big habit of relying on other people to tell me what to think, which is uh. yeah.

Primary

You're a Bird primary with a Lion model, and you're trying on some Badger ideals. That's one of the easier Sorts I've done, lol! Possibly because your primary and models actually House match mine :p

Your reasoning process screams Bird xD and so does your writing style and just the length of the ask. Birds love self-analysis, it's part of how we make sure our systems stay as close to true as we can make them.

You've got some Lion too, but it's a model. It sounds like your Lion and your Bird have come into conflict before, and like most Birds with Lion models, it bugs the snot out of you when your Lion's intuition (which is important data!) doesn't line up with what your Bird knows.

You've prioritized Bird's conclusions before, but (as with many Birds) you don't entirely trust your own system and you're wondering if your Lion might have been right and you should give its reasoning more weight.

Also, you're consciously deciding that maybe Badgers' way of doing things is more moral than yours, and you're pulling in some of those ideals. That doesn't make you a Badger primary. Birds are notorious for this kind of thing actually 😂

The line between whether some ideals you've pulled into your Bird system vs. what counts as a model is fuzzy. It's up to you really, how important those pieces of Badger are to you.

For me, I think the line might be--is it wired into your sense of self on its own, or does it get filtered through your Bird and Lion? It really sounds like your Lion is a strong part of your sense of self: if you ignore its advice, you feel not totally like yourself. You don't have to feel all your models equally strongly, but thinking of it that way might help.

(It's also hard because Birds often feel like they kind of are their systems, or they are their ability to reason, that's a core part of their identity. ...It's complicated.)

Secondary

You sound really really Snakey. I'm not sure where you're getting Badger, actually!

Badgers are more than the mirroring ability. They also bury themselves in work or community, and it can sometimes look like they're neck deep in so many responsibilities that they couldn't possibly handle any more problems--and then they do have a problem, they do need something, and they stand up and all that stuff they were buried in turns out to be armor and tools.

Snakes, otoh, are improvisational and tend to be very aware of their surroundings. Unlike Badgers, the Snake brand of social shapeshifting involves a lot of keeping track of other people's reactions to what they're doing--trying something and then watching the response, then adjusting, rinse and repeat. You turn yourself into exactly the right person for this situation.

Badger mirroring is usually simpler. You reflect the other person's energy back at them: it's an empathetic response that says we're alike, I accept you, you're safe. A lot of Badgers do this without thinking--it can be hard to turn off.

Snakes also don't go in for prep work as much, it tends to trip them up (Snakes with Badger or Bird models notwithstanding). They're Improvisational secondaries, unlike Bird and Badger which are Built and rely heavily on some form of preparation.

The Lion model sounds legit, but just check for yourself: you might be learning to use Snake's neutral state. Snakes will sometimes drop all their layers of acting and maneuvering and suddenly they're just themselves. Different Snakes have different relationships with neutral state. For some Snakes, it's a relief to drop the mask; for others, it feels vulnerable and they only trust certain people with their full authenticity.

It does sound like you really admire Lion secondaries, though, so you might indeed have a model there! This is just something else you could check on.

Hope that helps!

- Paint

#first post in a while huh folks #gotta remember how to tag... #ravenclaw primary #gryffindor primary model #slytherin secondary #gryffindor secondary model #asks #paint speaks #sortinghatchats

[themousefromfantasyland]

THE GIRL WHO PRETENDED TO BE A BOY

What about a transgender fairy tale for Pride Month?

This variant is a English translation by Andrew Lang of a Romanian fairy tale called Ileana Sînziana. In this long, but fun tale, a powerful new Emperor wants in his court all the male heirs of the Emperors who he already dethroned. Knowing her father doesn't have any male heir, the youngest daughter of an old Emperor decides to dress as man and goes out in a journey.

In the end she is "cursed" to be a man, becoming Făt-Frumos, here translated as Fet-Fruners, a stock Romanian character in folk tales, a knight hero similar to Prince Charming. Făt-Frumos can be roughly translated as handsome infant or child or handsome boy.

Once upon a time there lived an emperor who was a great conqueror, and reigned over more countries than anyone in the world. And whenever he subdued a fresh kingdom, he only granted peace on condition that the king should deliver him one of his sons for ten years' service.

Now on the borders of his kingdom lay a country whose emperor was as brave as his neighbour, and as long as he was young he was the victor in every war. But as years passed away, his head grew weary of making plans of campaign, and his people wanted to stay at home and till their fields, and at last he too felt that he must do homage to the other emperor.

One thing, however, held him back from this step which day by day he saw more clearly was the only one possible. His new overlord would demand the service of one of his sons. And the old emperor had no son; only three daughters.

Look on which side he would, nothing but ruin seemed to lie before him, and he became so gloomy, that his daughters were frightened, and did everything they could think of to cheer him up, but all to no purpose.

At length one day when they were at dinner, the eldest of the three summoned up all her courage and said to her father:

'What secret grief is troubling you? Are your subjects discontented? or have we given you cause for displeasure? To smooth away your wrinkles, we would gladly shed our blood, for our lives are bound up in yours; and this you know.'

'My daughter,' answered the emperor, 'what you say is true. Never have you given me one moment's pain. Yet now you cannot help me. Ah! why is not one of you a boy!'

'I don't understand,' she answered in surprise. 'Tell us what is wrong: and though we are not boys, we are not quite useless!'

'But what can you do, my dear children? Spin, sew, and weave—that is all your learning. Only a warrior can deliver me now, a young giant who is strong to wield the battle-axe: whose sword deals deadly blows.'

'But WHY do you need a son so much at present? Tell us all about it! It will not make matters worse if we know!'

'Listen then, my daughters, and learn the reason of my sorrow. You have heard that as long as I was young no man ever brought an army against me without it costing him dear. But the years have chilled my blood and drunk my strength. And now the deer can roam the forest, my arrows will never pierce his heart; strange soldiers will set fire to my houses and water their horses at my wells, and my arm cannot hinder them. No, my day is past, and the time has come when I too must bow my head under the yoke of my foe! But who is to give him the ten years' service that is part of the price which the vanquished must pay?'

'_I_ will,' cried the eldest girl, springing to her feet. But her father only shook his head sadly.

'Never will I bring shame upon you,' urged the girl. 'Let me go. Am I not a princess, and the daughter of an emperor?'

'Go then!' he said.

The brave girl's heart almost stopped beating from joy, as she set about her preparations. She was not still for a single moment, but danced about the house, turning chests and wardrobes upside down. She set aside enough things for a whole year—dresses embroidered with gold and precious stones, and a great store of provisions. And she chose the most spirited horse in the stable, with eyes of flame, and a coat of shining silver.

When her father saw her mounted and curvetting about the court, he gave her much wise advice, as to how she was to behave like the young man she appeared to be, and also how to behave as the girl she really was. Then he gave her his blessing, and she touched her horse with the spur.

The silver armour of herself and her steed dazzled the eyes of the people as she darted past. She was soon out of sight, and if after a few miles she had not pulled up to allow her escort to join her, the rest of the journey would have been performed alone.

But though none of his daughters were aware of the fact, the old emperor was a magician, and had laid his plans accordingly. He managed, unseen, to overtake his daughter, and throw a bridge of copper over a stream which she would have to cross. Then, changing himself into a wolf, he lay down under one of the arches, and waited.

He had chosen his time well, and in about half an hour the sound of a horse's hoofs was heard. His feet were almost on the bridge, when a big grey wolf with grinning teeth appeared before the princess. With a deep growl that froze the blood, he drew himself up, and prepared to spring.

The appearance of the wolf was so sudden and so unexpected, that the girl was almost paralysed, and never even dreamt of flight, till the horse leaped violently to one side. Then she turned him round, and urging him to his fullest speed, never drew rein till she saw the gates of the palace rising before her.

The old emperor, who had got back long since, came to the door to meet her, and touching her shining armour, he said, 'Did I not tell you, my child, that flies do not make honey?'

The days passed on, and one morning the second princess implored her father to allow her to try the adventure in which her sister had made such a failure. He listened unwillingly, feeling sure it was no use, but she begged so hard that in the end he consented, and having chosen her arms, she rode away.

But though, unlike her sister, she was quite prepared for the appearance of the wolf when she reached the copper bridge, she showed no greater courage, and galloped home as fast as her horse could carry her. On the steps of the castle her father was standing, and as still trembling with fright she knelt at his feet, he said gently, 'Did I not tell you, my child, that every bird is not caught in a net?'

The three girls stayed quietly in the palace for a little while, embroidering, spinning, weaving, and tending their birds and flowers, when early one morning, the youngest princess entered the door of the emperor's private apartments. 'My father, it is my turn now. Perhaps I shall get the better of that wolf!'

'What, do you think you are braver than your sisters, vain little one? You who have hardly left your long clothes behind you!' but she did not mind being laughed at, and answered,

'For your sake, father, I would cut the devil himself into small bits, or even become a devil myself. I think I shall succeed, but if I fail, I shall come home without more shame than my sisters.'

Still the emperor hesitated, but the girl petted and coaxed him till at last he said,

'Well, well, if you must go, you must. It remains to be seen what I shall get by it, except perhaps a good laugh when I see you come back with your head bent and your eyes on the ground.'

'He laughs best who laughs last,' said the princess.

Happy at having got her way, the princess decided that the first thing to be done was to find some old white-haired boyard, whose advice she could trust, and then to be very careful in choosing her horse. So she went straight to the stables where the most beautiful horses in the empire were feeding in the stalls, but none of them seemed quite what she wanted. Almost in despair she reached the last box of all, which was occupied by her father's ancient war-horse, old and worn like himself, stretched sadly out on the straw.

The girl's eyes filled with tears, and she stood gazing at him. The horse lifted his head, gave a little neigh, and said softly, 'You look gentle and pitiful, but I know it is your love for your father which makes you tender to me. Ah, what a warrior he was, and what good times we shared together! But now I too have grown old, and my master has forgotten me, and there is no reason to care whether my coat is dull or shining. Yet, it is not too late, and if I were properly tended, in a week I could vie with any horse in the stables!'

'And how should you be tended?' asked the girl.

'I must be rubbed down morning and evening with rain water, my barley must be boiled in milk, because of my bad teeth, and my feet must be washed in oil.'

'I should like to try the treatment, as you might help me in carrying out my scheme.'

'Try it then, mistress, and I promise you will never repent.'

So in a week's time the horse woke up one morning with a sudden shiver through all his limbs; and when it had passed away, he found his skin shining like a mirror, his body as fat as a water melon, his movement light as a chamois.

Then looking at the princess who had come early to the stable, he said joyfully,

'May success await on the steps of my master's daughter, for she has given me back my life. Tell me what I can do for you, princess, and I will do it.'

'I want to go to the emperor who is our over-lord, and I have no one to advise me. Which of all the white-headed boyards shall I choose as counsellor?'

'If you have me, you need no one else: I will serve you as I served your father, if you will only listen to what I say.'

'I will listen to everything. Can you start in three days?'

'This moment, if you like,' said the horse.

The preparations of the emperor's youngest daughter were much fewer and simpler than those of her sisters. They only consisted of some boy's clothes, a small quantity of linen and food, and a little money in case of necessity. Then she bade farewell to her father, and rode away.

A day's journey from the palace, she reached the copper bridge, but before they came in sight of it, the horse, who was a magician, had warned her of the means her father would take to prove her courage.

Still in spite of his warning she trembled all over when a huge wolf, as thin as if he had fasted for a month, with claws like saws, and mouth as wide as an oven, bounded howling towards her. For a moment her heart failed her, but the next, touching the horse lightly with her spur, she drew her sword from its sheath, ready to separate the wolf's head from its body at a single blow.

The beast saw the sword, and shrank back, which was the best thing it could do, as now the girl's blood was up, and the light of battle in her eyes. Then without looking round, she rode across the bridge.

The emperor, proud of this first victory, took a short cut, and waited for her at the end of another day's journey, close to a river, over which he threw a bridge of silver. And this time he took the shape of a lion.

But the horse guessed this new danger and told the princess how to escape it. But it is one thing to receive advice when we feel safe and comfortable, and quite another to be able to carry it out when some awful peril is threatening us. And if the wolf had made the girl quake with terror, it seemed like a lamb beside this dreadful lion.

At the sound of his roar the very trees quivered and his claws were so large that every one of them looked like a cutlass.

The breath of the princess came and went, and her feet rattled in the stirrups. Suddenly the remembrance flashed across her of the wolf whom she had put to flight, and waving her sword, she rushed so violently on the lion that he had barely time to spring on one side, so as to avoid the blow. Then, like a flash, she crossed this bridge also.

Now during her whole life, the princess had been so carefully brought up, that she had never left the gardens of the palace, so that the sight of the hills and valleys and tinkling streams, and the song of the larks and blackbirds, made her almost beside herself with wonder and delight. She longed to get down and bathe her face in the clear pools, and pick the brilliant flowers, but the horse said 'No,' and quickened his pace, neither turning to the right or the left.

'Warriors,' he told her, 'only rest when they have won the victory. You have still another battle to fight, and it is the hardest of all.'

This time it was neither a wolf nor a lion that was waiting for her at the end of the third day's journey, but a dragon with twelve heads, and a golden bridge behind it.

The princess rode up without seeing anything to frighten her, when a sudden puff of smoke and flame from beneath her feet, caused her to look down, and there was the horrible creature twisted and writhing, its twelve heads reared up as if to seize her between them.

The bridle fell from her hand: and the sword which she had just grasped slid back into its sheath, but the horse bade her fear nothing, and with a mighty effort she sat upright and spurred straight on the dragon.

The fight lasted an hour and the dragon pressed her hard. But in the end, by a well-directed side blow, she cut off one of the heads, and with a roar that seemed to rend the heavens in two, the dragon fell back on the ground, and rose as a man before her.

Although the horse had informed the princess the dragon was really her own father, the girl had hardly believed him, and stared in amazement at the transformation. But he flung his arms round her and pressed her to his heart saying, 'Now I see that you are as brave as the bravest, and as wise as the wisest. You have chosen the right horse, for without his help you would have returned with a bent head and downcast eyes. You have filled me with the hope that you may carry out the task you have undertaken, but be careful to forget none of my counsels, and above all to listen to those of your horse.'

When he had done speaking, the princess knelt down to receive his blessing, and they went their different ways.

The princess rode on and on, till at last she came to the mountains which hold up the roof of the world. There she met two Genii who had been fighting fiercely for two years, without one having got the least advantage over the other. Seeing what they took to be a young man seeking adventures, one of the combatants called out, 'Fet-Fruners! deliver me from my enemy, and I will give you the horn that can be heard the distance of a three days' journey;' while the other cried, 'Fet-Fruners! help me to conquer this pagan thief, and you shall have my horse, Sunlight.'

Before answering, the princess consulted her own horse as to which offer she should accept, and he advised her to side with the genius who was master of Sunlight, his own younger brother, and still more active than himself.

So the girl at once attacked the other genius, and soon clove his skull; then the one who was left victor begged her to come back with him to his house and he would hand her over Sunlight, as he had promised.

The mother of the genius was rejoiced to see her son return safe and sound, and prepared her best room for the princess, who, after so much fatigue, needed rest badly. But the girl declared that she must first make her horse comfortable in his stable; but this was really only an excuse, as she wanted to ask his advice on several matters.

But the old woman had suspected from the very first that the boy who had come to the rescue of her son was a girl in disguise, and told the genius that she was exactly the wife he needed. The genius scoffed, and inquired what female hand could ever wield a sabre like that; but, in spite of his sneers, his mother persisted, and as a proof of what she said, laid at night on each of their pillows a handful of magic flowers, that fade at the touch of man, but remain eternally fresh in the fingers of a woman.

It was very clever of her, but unluckily the horse had warned the princess what to expect, and when the house was silent, she stole very softly to the genius's room, and exchanged his faded flowers for those she held. Then she crept back to her own bed and fell fast asleep.

At break of day, the old woman ran to see her son, and found, as she knew she would, a bunch of dead flowers in his hand. She next passed on to the bedside of the princess, who still lay asleep grasping the withered flowers. But she did not believe any the more that her guest was a man, and so she told her son. So they put their heads together and laid another trap for her.

After breakfast the genius gave his arm to his guest, and asked her to come with him into the garden. For some time they walked about looking at the flowers, the genius all the while pressing her to pick any she fancied. But the princess, suspecting a trap, inquired roughly why they were wasting the precious hours in the garden, when, as men, they should be in the stables looking after their horses. Then the genius told his mother that she was quite wrong, and his deliverer was certainly a man. But the old woman was not convinced for all that.

She would try once more she said, and her son must lead his visitor into the armoury, where hung every kind of weapon used all over the world—some plain and bare, others ornamented with precious stones—and beg her to make choice of one of them. The princess looked at them closely, and felt the edges and points of their blades, then she hung at her belt an old sword with a curved blade, that would have done credit to an ancient warrior. After this she informed the genius that she would start early next day and take Sunlight with her.

And there was nothing for the mother to do but to submit, though she still stuck to her own opinion.

The princess mounted Sunlight, and touched him with her spur, when the old horse, who was galloping at her side, suddenly said:

'Up to this time, mistress, you have obeyed my counsels and all has gone well. Listen to me once more, and do what I tell you. I am old, and—now that there is someone to take my place, I will confess it—I am afraid that my strength is not equal to the task that lies before me. Give me leave, therefore, to return home, and do you continue your journey under the care of my brother. Put your faith in him as you put it in me, and you will never repent. Wisdom has come early to Sunlight.'

'Yes, my old comrade, you have served me well; and it is only through your help that up to now I have been victorious. So grieved though I am to say farewell, I will obey you yet once more, and will listen to your brother as I would to yourself. Only, I must have a proof that he loves me as well as you do.'

'How should I not love you?' answered Sunlight; 'how should I not be proud to serve a warrior such as you? Trust me, mistress, and you shall never regret the absence of my brother. I know there will be difficulties in our path, but we will face them together.'

Then, with tears in her eyes, the princess took leave of her old horse, who galloped back to her father.

She had ridden only a few miles further, when she saw a golden curl lying on the road before her. Checking her horse, she asked whether it would be better to take it or let it lie.

'If you take it,' said Sunlight, 'you will repent, and if you don't, you will repent too: so take it.' On this the girl dismounted, and picking up the curl, wound it round her neck for safety.

They passed by hills, they passed by mountains, they passed through valleys, leaving behind them thick forests, and fields covered with flowers; and at length they reached the court of the over-lord.

He was sitting on his throne, surrounded by the sons of the other emperors, who served him as pages. These youths came forward to greet their new companion, and wondered why they felt so attracted towards him.

[Quick pause. This is a very funny trope that I keep finding in very old cross-dressing stories. The male characters find themselves mysteriously attracted to the female character pretending to be male. Think of Li Shang from Mulan.]

However, there was no time for talking and concealing her fright.

The princess was led straight up to the throne, and explained, in a low voice, the reason of her coming. The emperor received her kindly, and declared himself fortunate at finding a vassal so brave and so charming, and begged the princess to remain in attendance on his person.

She was, however, very careful in her behaviour towards the other pages, whose way of life did not please her. One day, however, she had been amusing herself by making sweetmeats, when two of the young princes looked in to pay her a visit. She offered them some of the food which was already on the table, and they thought it so delicious that they even licked their fingers so as not to lose a morsel. Of course they did not keep the news of their discovery to themselves, but told all their companions that they had just been enjoying the best supper they had had since they were born. And from that moment the princess was left no peace, till she had promised to cook them all a dinner.

Now it happened that, on the very day fixed, all the cooks in the palace became intoxicated, and there was no one to make up the fire.

When the pages heard of this shocking state of things, they went to their companion and implored her to come to the rescue.

The princess was fond of cooking, and was, besides, very good-natured; so she put on an apron and went down to the kitchen without delay. When the dinner was placed before the emperor he found it so nice that he ate much more than was good for him. The next morning, as soon as he woke, he sent for his head cook, and told him to send up the same dishes as before. The cook, seized with fright at this command, which he knew he could not fulfil, fell on his knees, and confessed the truth.

The emperor was so astonished that he forgot to scold, and while he was thinking over the matter, some of his pages came in and said that their new companion had been heard to boast that he knew where Iliane was to be found—the celebrated Iliane of the song which begins:

'Golden Hair. The fields are green,'

And that to their certain knowledge he had a curl of her hair in his possession.

When he heard that, the emperor desired the page to be brought before him, and, as soon as the princess obeyed his summons, he said to her abruptly:

'Fet-Fruners, you have hidden from me the fact that you knew the golden-haired Iliane! Why did you do this? for I have treated you more kindly than all my other pages.'

Then, after making the princess show him the golden curl which she wore round her neck, he added: 'Listen to me; unless by some means or other you bring me the owner of this lock, I will have your head cut off in the place where you stand. Now go!'

In vain the poor girl tried to explain how the lock of hair came into her possession; the emperor would listen to nothing, and, bowing low, she left his presence and went to consult Sunlight what she was to do.

At his first words she brightened up. 'Do not be afraid, mistress; only last night my brother appeared to me in a dream and told me that a genius had carried off Iliane, whose hair you picked up on the road. But Iliane declares that, before she marries her captor, he must bring her, as a present, the whole stud of mares which belong to her. The genius, half crazy with love, thinks of nothing night and day but how this can be done, and meanwhile she is quite safe in the island swamps of the sea. Go back to the emperor and ask him for twenty ships filled with precious merchandise. The rest you shall know by-and-by.'

On hearing this advice, the princess went at once into the emperor's presence.

'May a long life be yours, O Sovereign all mighty!' said she. 'I have come to tell you that I can do as you command if you will give me twenty ships, and load them with the most precious wares in your kingdom.'

'You shall have all that I possess if you will bring me the golden-haired Iliane,' said the emperor.

The ships were soon ready, and the princess entered the largest and finest, with Sunlight at her side. Then the sails were spread and the voyage began.

For seven weeks the wind blew them straight towards the west, and early one morning they caught sight of the island swamps of the sea.

They cast anchor in a little bay, and the princess made haste to disembark with Sunlight, but, before leaving the ship, she tied to her belt a pair of tiny gold slippers, adorned with precious stones. Then mounting Sunlight, she rode about till she came to several palaces, built on hinges, so that they could always turn towards the sun.

The most splendid of these was guarded by three slaves, whose greedy eyes were caught by the glistening gold of the slippers. They hastened up to the owner of these treasures, and inquired who he was. 'A merchant,' replied the princess, 'who had somehow missed his road, and lost himself among the island swamps of the sea.'

Not knowing if it was proper to receive him or not, the slaves returned to their mistress and told her all they had seen, but not before she had caught sight of the merchant from the roof of her palace. Luckily her gaoler was away, always trying to catch the stud of mares, so for the moment she was free and alone.

The slaves told their tale so well that their mistress insisted on going down to the shore and seeing the beautiful slippers for herself. They were even lovelier than she expected, and when the merchant besought her to come on board, and inspect some that he thought were finer still, her curiosity was too great to refuse, and she went.

Once on board ship, she was so busy turning over all the precious things stored there, that she never knew that the sails were spread, and that they were flying along with the wind behind them; and when she did know, she rejoiced in her heart, though she pretended to weep and lament at being carried captive a second time. Thus they arrived at the court of the emperor.

They were just about to land, when the mother of the genius stood before them. She had learnt that Iliane had fled from her prison in company with a merchant, and, as her son was absent, had come herself in pursuit. Striding over the blue waters, hopping from wave to wave, one foot reaching to heaven, and the other planted in the foam, she was close at their heels, breathing fire and flame, when they stepped on shore from the ship. One glance told Iliane who the horrible old woman was, and she whispered hastily to her companion. Without saying a word, the princess swung her into Sunlight's saddle, and leaping up behind her, they were off like a flash.

It was not till they drew near the town that the princess stooped and asked Sunlight what they should do. 'Put your hand into my left ear,' said he, 'and take out a sharp stone, which you must throw behind you.'

The princess did as she was told, and a huge mountain sprang up behind them. The mother of the genius began to climb up it, and though they galloped quickly, she was quicker still.

They heard her coming, faster, faster; and again the princess stooped to ask what was to be done now. 'Put your hand into my right ear,' said the horse, 'and throw the brush you will find there behind you.' The princess did so, and a great forest sprang up behind them, and, so thick were its leaves, that even a wren could not get through. But the old woman seized hold of the branches and flung herself like a monkey from one to the others, and always she drew nearer—always, always—till their hair was singed by the flames of her mouth.

Then, in despair, the princess again bent down and asked if there was nothing more to be done, and Sunlight replied 'Quick, quick, take off the betrothal ring on the finger of Iliane and throw it behind you.'

This time there sprang up a great tower of stone, smooth as ivory, hard as steel, which reached up to heaven itself. And the mother of the genius gave a howl of rage, knowing that she could neither climb it nor get through it. But she was not beaten yet, and gathering herself together, she made a prodigious leap, which landed her on the top of the tower, right in the middle of Iliane's ring which lay there, and held her tight. Only her claws could be seen grasping the battlements.

All that could be done the old witch did; but the fire that poured from her mouth never reached the fugitives, though it laid waste the country a hundred miles round the tower, like the flames of a volcano. Then, with one last effort to free herself, her hands gave way, and, falling down to the bottom of the tower, she was broken in pieces.

When the flying princess saw what had happened she rode back to the spot, as Sunlight counselled her, and placed her finger on the top of the tower, which was gradually shrinking into the earth. In an instant the tower had vanished as if it had never been, and in its place was the finger of the princess with a ring round it.

The emperor received Iliane with all the respect that was due to her, and fell in love at first sight besides.

But this did not seem to please Iliane, whose face was sad as she walked about the palace or gardens, wondering how it was that, while other girls did as they liked, she was always in the power of someone whom she hated.

So when the emperor asked her to share his throne Iliane answered:

'Noble Sovereign, I may not think of marriage till my stud of horses has been brought me, with their trappings all complete.'

When he heard this, the emperor once more sent for Fet-Fruners, and said:

'Fet-Fruners, fetch me instantly the stud of mares, with their trappings all complete. If not, your head shall pay the forfeit.'

'Mighty Emperor, I kiss your hands! I have but just returned from doing your bidding, and, behold, you send me on another mission, and stake my head on its fulfilment, when your court is full of valiant young men, pining to win their spurs. They say you are a just man; then why not entrust this quest to one of them? Where am I to seek these mares that I am to bring you?'

'How do I know? They may be anywhere in heaven or earth; but, wherever they are, you will have to find them.'

The princess bowed and went to consult Sunlight. He listened while she told her tale, and then said:

'Fetch quickly nine buffalo skins; smear them well with tar, and lay them on my back. Do not fear; you will succeed in this also; but, in the end, the emperor's desires will be his undoing.'

The buffalo skins were soon got, and the princess started off with Sunlight. The way was long and difficult, but at length they reached the place where the mares were grazing. Here the genius who had carried off Iliane was wandering about, trying to discover how to capture them, all the while believing that Iliane was safe in the palace where he had left her.

As soon as she caught sight of him, the princess went up and told him that Iliane had escaped, and that his mother, in her efforts to recapture her, had died of rage. At this news a blind fury took possession of the genius, and he rushed madly upon the princess, who awaited his onslaught with perfect calmness. As he came on, with his sabre lifted high in the air, Sunlight bounded right over his head, so that the sword fell harmless. And when in her turn the princess prepared to strike, the horse sank upon his knees, so that the blade pierced the genius's thigh.

The fight was so fierce that it seemed as if the earth would give way under them, and for twenty miles round the beasts in the forests fled to their caves for shelter. At last, when her strength was almost gone, the genius lowered his sword for an instant. The princess saw her chance, and, with one swoop of her arm, severed her enemy's head from his body. Still trembling from the long struggle, she turned away, and went to the meadow where the stud were feeding.

By the advice of Sunlight, she took care not to let them see her, and climbed a thick tree, where she could see and hear without being seen herself. Then he neighed, and the mares came galloping up, eager to see the new comer—all but one horse, who did not like strangers, and thought they were very well as they were. As Sunlight stood his ground, well pleased with the attention paid him, this sulky creature suddenly advanced to the charge, and bit so violently that had it not been for the nine buffalo skins Sunlight's last moment would have come. When the fight was ended, the buffalo skins were in ribbons, and the beaten animal writhing with pain on the grass.

Nothing now remained to be done but to drive the whole stud to the emperor's court. So the princess came down from the tree and mounted Sunlight, while the stud followed meekly after, the wounded horse bringing up the rear. On reaching the palace, she drove them into a yard, and went to inform the emperor of her arrival.

The news was told at once to Iliane, who ran down directly and called them to her one by one, each mare by its name. And at the first sight of her the wounded animal shook itself quickly, and in a moment its wounds were healed, and there was not even a mark on its glossy skin.

By this time the emperor, on hearing where she was, joined her in the yard, and at her request ordered the mares to be milked, so that both he and she might bathe in the milk and keep young for ever. But they would suffer no one to come near them, and the princess was commanded to perform this service also.

At this, the heart of the girl swelled within her. The hardest tasks were always given to her, and long before the two years were up, she would be worn out and useless. But while these thoughts passed through her mind, a fearful rain fell, such as no man remembered before, and rose till the mares were standing up to their knees in water. Then as suddenly it stopped, and, behold! the water was ice, which held the animals firmly in its grasp. And the princess's heart grew light again, and she sat down gaily to milk them, as if she had done it every morning of her life.

The love of the emperor for Iliane waxed greater day by day, but she paid no heed to him, and always had an excuse ready to put off their marriage. At length, when she had come to the end of everything she could think of, she said to him one day: 'Grant me, Sire, just one request more, and then I will really marry you; for you have waited patiently this long time.'

'My beautiful dove,' replied the emperor, 'both I and all I possess are yours, so ask your will, and you shall have it.'

'Get me, then,' she said, 'a flask of the holy water that is kept in a little church beyond the river Jordan, and I will be your wife.'

Then the emperor ordered Fet-Fruners to ride without delay to the river Jordan, and to bring back, at whatever cost, the holy water for Iliane.

'This, my mistress,' said Sunlight, when she was saddling him, 'is the last and most difficult of your tasks. But fear nothing, for the hour of the emperor has struck.'

So they started; and the horse, who was not a wizard for nothing, told the princess exactly where she was to look for the holy water.

'It stands,' he said, 'on the altar of a little church, and is guarded by a troop of nuns. They never sleep, night or day, but every now and then a hermit comes to visit them, and from him they learn certain things it is needful for them to know. When this happens, only one of the nuns remains on guard at a time, and if we are lucky enough to hit upon this moment, we may get hold of the vase at once; if not, we shall have to wait the arrival of the hermit, however long it may be; for there is no other means of obtaining the holy water.'

They came in sight of the church beyond the Jordan, and, to their great joy, beheld the hermit just arriving at the door. They could hear him calling the nuns around him, and saw them settle themselves under a tree, with the hermit in their midst—all but one, who remained on guard, as was the custom.

The hermit had a great deal to say, and the day was very hot, so the nun, tired of sitting by herself, lay down right across the threshold, and fell sound asleep.

Then Sunlight told the princess what she was to do, and the girl stepped softly over the sleeping nun, and crept like a cat along the dark aisle, feeling the wall with her fingers, lest she should fall over something and ruin it all by a noise. But she reached the altar in safety, and found the vase of holy water standing on it. This she thrust into her dress, and went back with the same care as she came. With a bound she was in the saddle, and seizing the reins bade Sunlight take her home as fast as his legs could carry him.

The sound of the flying hoofs aroused the nun, who understood instantly that the precious treasure was stolen, and her shrieks were so loud and piercing that all the rest came flying to see what was the matter. The hermit followed at their heels, but seeing it was impossible to overtake the thief, he fell on his knees and called his most deadly curse down on her head, praying that if the thief was a man, he might become a woman; and if she was a woman, that she might become a man. In either case he thought that the punishment would be severe.

But punishments are things about which people do not always agree, and when the princess suddenly felt she was really the man she had pretended to be, she was delighted, and if the hermit had only been within reach she would have thanked him from her heart.

By the time she reached the emperor's court, Fet-Fruners looked a young man all over in the eyes of everyone; and even the mother of the genius would now have had her doubts set at rest. He drew forth the vase from his tunic and held it up to the emperor, saying: 'Mighty Sovereign, all hail! I have fulfilled this task also, and I hope it is the last you have for me; let another now take his turn.'

'I am content, Fet-Fruners,' replied the emperor, 'and when I am dead it is you who will sit upon my throne; for I have yet no son to come after me. But if one is given me, and my dearest wish is accomplished, then you shall be his right hand, and guide him with your counsels.'

But though the emperor was satisfied, Iliane was not, and she determined to revenge herself on the emperor for the dangers which he had caused Fet-Fruners to run. And as for the vase of holy water, she thought that, in common politeness, her suitor ought to have fetched it himself, which he could have done without any risk at all.

So she ordered the great bath to be filled with the milk of her mares, and begged the emperor to clothe himself in white robes, and enter the bath with her, an invitation he accepted with joy. Then, when both were standing with the milk reaching to their necks, she sent for the horse which had fought Sunlight, and made a secret sign to him. The horse understood what he was to do, and from one nostril he breathed fresh air over Iliane, and from the other, he snorted a burning wind which shrivelled up the emperor where he stood, leaving only a little heap of ashes.

His strange death, which no one could explain, made a great sensation throughout the country, and the funeral his people gave him was the most splendid ever known. When it was over, Iliane summoned Fet-Fruners before her, and addressed him thus:

'Fet-Fruners! it is you who brought me and have saved my life, and obeyed my wishes. It is you who gave me back my stud; you who killed the genius, and the old witch his mother; you who brought me the holy water. And you, and none other, shall be my husband.'

'Yes, I will marry you,' said the young man, with a voice almost as soft as when he was a princess. 'But know that in OUR house, it will be the cock who sings and not the hen!'

#fairy tales #romanian folklore #pride month #trans pride

[retphienix]

Alright, this is gonna be tough because I desperately want to say so much for the game's sake and my own, but it's just so much.

At least the playthrough as a whole exists to show a lot of those things, and there's no shame in some of the impacts the game had for myself going unsaid :)

LONG POST INCOMING, NO 'READ MORE' BECAUSE IT'S RELEVANT TO THE POST AND NOT AN AFTER-THOUGHT

CLICK 'J' ON YOUR KEYBOARD TO SKIP. (Sorry mobile users)

8:48 - Do you have any idea how good a step forward it felt to smash the repressing bulb?

9:50 - So I'll get ahead of myself because this fight shows a lot of the visuals that play into this: Something being the manifestation of guilt for Mari is so incredibly visualized.

Between the base 'Something' being extremely close to the shadow she cast and including the one visible eye that bore down on Sunny and Basil after the hanging, to the stairs incorporating into the design.

The seaweed and spider are more general anxieties though they do circle back to Mari since she saved Sunny, but those two forms don't feel as directly related as the stairs (heights) and base 'Something' forms and what they represent for his repressed guilt.

Could be wrong ;) Tell me what you saw in the forms of 'Something' if you'd like to expand on them :)

12:39 - Just to prove the point before you get to fully see the truth- Something morphs into the figure of Mari hanging. It doesn't fully demonstrate the "eye" aspect yet, but still I just wanted to say kudos on the way 'Something' is shown visually. Formless for a reason, and that form becomes more defined as you understand what it is, exceptional damn thing.

15:43 - Basil's part in all of this makes me so damn sad. Plenty to say later (obviously), but he harbors so much guilt, wants forgiveness so much, and is so (not shown yet) desperate to believe in Sunny's innocence while knowing but not comprehending the truth. The fact he harbors his own 'Something' due to the guilt of all this is heartbreaking, these kids endured a hell no one should. Losing someone so important to you and harboring the guilt and fault of it when nothing of the sort was intended. A childish fight with raised emotions got out of hand and all this came of it.

Hell.

16:30 - I absolutely adore how the photo album is used for this reveal.

Absolutely incredible execution that's specific to this story and its characters and makes piecing (literally) this together tense and grim.

22:27 - I NEVER SPOKE TO OR INTERACTED WITH THE THING IN THE CENTER OF THIS ROOM AND I'M A NORMAL AMOUNT OF UPSET ABOUT THAT >:( lol

29:41 - Okay.

So this reveal as a whole is so unbelievably well paced and incredibly hard hitting.

All game long there's a weight of having lost Mari. Repeatedly it's told that she killed herself and no one can understand why and everyone (MYSELF THE PLAYER INCLUDED) is looking for meaning in little moments, seeking out hints that maybe she was suffering or depressed or this or that.

And while that has gone on FOR THE ENTIRE GAME there has also been this uneasy weight surrounding Sunny/Omori. Visions of Mari twisted and deformed into phantoms of horror.

For the most part I assumed it was just him coping with having lost his sister and maybe a dialogue on how when she was alive he was in her shadow (in his mind) and now that she's gone he remains there?

That was the best I could figure, more or less. But it continued to seem more and more malicious in design and MUCH more 'heavy' in how it's presented as a shadow behind Omori/Sunny throughout his adventure and life.

The weight and 'overshadowed' looks of the scenes felt more and more foreboding and less like a simpler "I'm living in her shadow" story, but I couldn't figure out what it was.

Then these pictures come out and piece things together.

The final result:

Sunny and Mari fighting. (Context appears to be his growing disdain towards playing. It's stated he loved playing, but it's also shown that he begins to dislike how much Mari is dragged away for classes and the like up to and including playing. So my read was that Sunny was upset that their fleeting time together was dedicated to the recital and broke his violin in an emotional blur and the fight occurred.

Alternatively it was accidentally broken and both of their emotions were running high as it happened)

Mari falling to her death.

Sunny and Basil carrying her upstairs and tending to her.

Sunny breaking down as it sinks in.

The visions having Basil say "It's going to be okay" by the bedside. (I perceive that as a memory of what Basil was saying as he tried to manage his emotions during the event)

Sunny and Basil carrying her back downstairs and to the backyard.

The makeshift noose.

And finally the sight that burned itself into Sunny's eyes of her hanging after it was all said and done.

Just holy shit to it all in how it's revealed and handled.

Stories have twists all the time, and I ain't gonna make some bold claim like "Most unpredictable!" "Best twist!" "What a twist!" or whatever, though that'd be funny.

I just want to say this twist worked BEFORE the reveal as a foreboding sense of unease and curiosity- it lent itself to intentionally vague and easily misconstrued explanations, basically- instead of it outright misleading you beyond the characters that believe the lie repeating the lie, it allowed you to mislead yourself.

It did the twist the right way! And well! YOU trick YOURSELF! The people repeating the lie are being lied to or have motivation to repeat the lie! The GAME isn't lying (as so many twists handle it) the game is giving the world reason to mislead and allowing you to be mislead!

Now am I yelling affirmations for the way things SHOULD ALWAYS BE! YES! BUT THAT'S BECAUSE IT'S NOT AS NORMAL AS IT SHOULD BE! lol

31:40 - All the "You will really miss them"s hurt :(

33:25 - Right out the gate, a spoiler for what isn't here:

I looked up the alternate endings of the neutral route and my heart hurts to know Sunny doesn't stick around and Basil dies :(

34:00 - BASIL BEING OVERWHELMED WITH DENIAL AND GUILT AS HE ATTEMPTS TO MENTALLY PROTECT HIS VIEW OF WHO HIS FRIEND IS BY INVENTING A SECOND PARTY THAT DID THIS IS SO FUCKING REAL AND AMAZINGLY DONE.

And it explains the name behind the 'Something'.

'Something' behind you did it. There's 'Something' behind you, isn't there.

'Something' all around us, that potentially being the truth comin' in.

When 'Something' ruined my photos, Basil repressing protecting Sunny by destroying the proof.

Just expertly done.

'Something' being repression of the memory and impending guilt. Dannnng.

36:26 - It's 24 hours after I beat the game as I type all this so here's a gag.

Here's the part where Basil beats some sense into his friend, because after this Sunny gets knocked out and wakes up 200% improved and ready to save Basil from his own guilt by releasing them both from the secret.

So basically Kel dragged us out of bed, then a couple days later Basil beats us up, and that's how Sunny gets better :^) Game Over.

38:46 - This fight made me feel utterly terrible, a highlight being the energy bar saying "Everything is going to be okay".

or at 40:17 - when Basil pokes out Sunny's eye and the screen does this? That's an underutilized but always awesome visual.

41:12 - I THOUGHT I WAS DEAD AT THIS POINT :)

Because just before entering Basil's home on this night you see his Grandma's ghost here. So seeing Sunny here told me "WELL. YOU FUCKED UP!"

42:25 - Like I said, beat some sense into Sunny.

Here's the mental side of things where Basil's beatin' told Sunny to go remember the good times and confront his inner self and I'm being partially facetious because there's plenty to say about what's coming up.

43:15 - Goosebumps every time due to the sincerity and hope of this.

43:40 - Hug for anyone needing that.

51:11 - I could cry again and I just might before this post is done being put together.

This accident was never meant to be.

55:09 - Timestamp is arbitrary, I won't go over every flashback but I do want to say what a beautiful way to use these photos. To relive the memories? To find the strength to overcome and all that? After all these years of suppressing memories? DANNNG I love this game.

1:04:09 - I stepped in poop.

1:04:15 - Barefooted.

1:04:22 - I embraced my failure.

1:12:00 - The violin.

1:13:00 - "The anxious feeling-" "They believed in you" "No matter what you didn't want to disappoint them" I'm filled with love and gonna cry about it.

1:14:00 - So an important theme in the game, as if it has just one, is Sunny suppressing emotions and demonizing himself.

Obviously the ending shows him breaking free from both but I think it's important as hell to look at how he builds up to being able to.

After all the dark moments show him as a bloodied monster, demonstrate a perceived lack of remorse for what he's done (as in he sees himself so poorly that he says "I must not have felt bad about it, I'm a monster", not that he actually doesn't feel bad about it, that he thinks he shouldn't because he's bad), have him stab dream Basil to protect his repression of the memory, the build up to breaking free from that is him remembering the good in him through the lens of his friends.

Both in the real world and in revisiting the memories within the photos.

He hears about the good in himself that he has pretended isn't there and finds the power to overcome this deadened shell he's made.

He learns how to forgive himself by finally remembering he's worthy of forgiveness and is more than his mistake, that even the person he grievously harmed would want him to forgive himself and would understand the mistake didn't define him.

1:15:15 - Just because you did something bad doesn't make you bad, to put it more eloquently than my rambles. He had to learn that.

1:19:20 - I've done this fight 4 times.

You may be wondering why 4 times, it ain't like I replayed the game a ton or anything.

The short of it is:

1) For the good ending :)

2) To see what happens if you go "up" in the hospital- it's a dead end- I assumed it'd be a bad ending. So I got the good ending again :)

3) For the bad ending.

4) FOR THE GOOD ENDING TO WIPE THE HORRIBLE FEELING IN THE PIT OF MY STOMACH AWAY FROM THE BAD ENDING :)

In doing so I did get one layer deeper on the BG of Omori in the fight, here it is:

And I learned on the fourth run that the fight is simpler than I gave it credit lol, Cherish refills your juice, so there is no reason to use Encore. You can get to the end (and deeper more easily) by just using the triple attack and Cherish and Calm down when necessary.

1:29:00 - A summary of the fight is that it's extremely impactful emotionally, but very obviously isn't a "Fun fight". It's great mechanically and story wise for what it's trying to do :)

I'll just say it here: I'm surprised there wasn't an end-game "Omori" fight, you know, in dream world? Because combat is SO good in this. I am lead to believe that the Omori route where you never go outside in the real world has more bosses and zones and would fill what I just implied I wanted- but you're also railroaded into the Neutral endings which are both sad :(

And honestly? That makes sense and I applaud the decision :) Embracing the fantasy world for more 'fights' isn't exactly the path to recovery. Also and I know someone will be bothered I say this because *I'm* bothered I'm saying this- it makes sense since a big predecessor did the same thing lol.

Undertale Genocide has new bosses and a harder end game challenge (Sans) while being the worse ending, while the good ending has a flashy and story/emotionally impactful final fight that isn't as challenging because challenge isn't the point of the morals being explored.

I just bring it up because it's interesting, has a parallel, and after fighting Omori 4 times I really REALLY wanted to do an end-game fight in Dream World.

1:30:00 - forgive me as I cry again. goosebumps and more.

OH NO~!

DRAT!

So I use a cheap video editor and I use the free format of it which limits to 720p and I didn't think twice of it.

I recorded at max, but downgraded after editing.

At 720p you can't see the detail that made me break down crying!

At 1:31:55 Sunny's eyes go wider as he sees Mari as they finally get to experience the duet in this dream state (White Egret Orchid, this is real and happening, I'm taking this to my grave :'( ) he sees her smile and that smile made me break down, but in the 720 it's blurry :(

That's on me, I could have posted the scene raw in HQ but I didn't know it'd compress just enough to be invisible :(

still. that duet scene can make me cry on command. just because of that alone, but also the entire thing.

1:33:42 - Sunny breaks from his shell and feels his emotions again.

1:37:07 - I wish every game would end with a mirror to see yourself.

The 'Despite everything, it's still you' vibe just cements all the growth and experiences that have happened as so much more real when that happens. Bonus points because mirrors in Omori are a time bomb where you can be reminded of the guilt following you- and this one is safe. This one is pure and clean. You did it.

1:37:50 - As I said earlier, going up does nothing. Dead end.

1:39:00 - I have to tell you something.

Simple ending. And yet slams me like two trucks. I'm so proud.

1:41:00 - Post credits scene.

This is so heartwarming and their smiles are the purest thing in the entire world.

1:42:50 - BAD ENDING RECORDING.

All I'll say on that is the bad ending made me feel terrible inside. Give up, live in your bubble, and subconsciously end it all so you never have to confront reality again.

My gut felt heavy to be honest.

And the fact that THAT is when Bo En Time is played is INCREDIBLE.

Having the sky shift like that gave goosebumps and cemented my dread.

Just seeing it now has me feeling very poorly.

Okay. Video done.

Now for general thoughts.

First off this White Space cycle has been going on for YEARS with Sunny only getting worse as he suppresses things more and more and the reason he found the strength to overcome is because of his friends and I'm gonna yell about it.

THE REASON SUNNY IS BREAKING FREE CAN BE DIRECTLY POINTED AT KEL THINKING "FUCK IT, I'M ABOUT TO LOSE A FRIEND, AND I DON'T WANT TO"

And I just think that is sweet as hell. The strength was inside himself, but the problem itself caused Sunny to demonize and not trust himself- he needed someone to break him free and help convince him that he's not irredeemable. And boom.

The way this game handles Denial and even gives it physical form with the 'Something's that both Sunny and Basil harbor is just awesome.

I touched on it but combat in Omori is very, very good.

I've said it here and there as I played and I feel like going at length in the finale post is pointless because this isn't a review but to put it concisely.

Types changing mid-combat, the character archetypes being so well defined, the follow up system, combat in Omori is some top notch turn based RPG stuff.

Like up there with the greats, the timeless masterpieces. This is GOOD fighting. So it was surprising the good ending didn't emphasize it- I explained why that makes sense, but even still! It'd probably be lesser for it (as explained previously) but it's interesting they practiced that restraint for the message they wanted to send.

Repeatin' that Mari's smile in the recital made me cry. Burned in my brain.

I'm still surprised I got the post credits scene because I DID water the plants a lot but when the game showed me them all dead I assumed that was the fail condition.

I genuinely do want to try the Omori route some time down the road. I hope I get around to it.

I am slightly dissuaded just because the Omori route only gets the neutral endings which are not Good To Be Blunt :(

But I want to see what dream content there is and I hear there are other bosses!

Other small bits from my notes:

Replacing denial (the black bulb) with hope (the white bulb) was good as heck.

The imagery of the 'Something' is so top notch- using the shadow of her body combined with the piercing gaze of her single eye- MY GOD.

The fragility of life being so present- between memories of near death experiences, to the way in which Mari dies, to the ease at which either Basil or Sunny can end the game. It's tense and heart-wrenching.

The way the 'Something' behind Sunny almost always shadows over him like an ever present weight.

Tearful, hopeful, pure, kids enduring a guilt metric tons heavier than their bodies could ever handle and finally, finally moving beyond it.

I said more in a personal post, and I'll reblog that.

Honestly, just timestamping through the video took it out of me and got the point across.

Omori is a wonderful game.

It's definitely a favorite for me, high up there on my list.

Between the themes, the gameplay, the humor, the ending.

This is a good one.

And now I get to end having experienced all the care and love in this title, that's such a sweet thing.

Now I know this finale post is a mess, illegible even. I have gotten sloppier as I've begun embracing just 'experiencing and rambling' and perhaps my formatting with change yet again until I find something more easily shared.

Despite that. I want to thank any who popped in on this playthrough.

This was a good one, a highlight of the blog for sure- and I'm always happy when I see some people enjoying the absolute mess I toss online when I do one of these :P

So thank you for your time, and thank you to any ridiculous enough to read my nonsense here.

Have a good one :)

And just as expected I feel I've said nothing and barely touched the surface as the post-game-head of mine does a poor job lol. Even still :P

#RetPlays #Omori #Spoilers

[mamafishfound]

Leon: The Rabid Lion and Astrology

Alright finally got to posting this I'm sorry it took so long a lot was going on with the Cornovirus stuff and my husband had issues with his green card and can't find it which we had no luck finding but alas thats a unrelated issue to the post. So here we are for the long awaited Star Crossed Myth and Astrology post

The Leo Archtype

Leo is ruled by the sun and rules the 5th house, the house of creative expression, arts, hobbies,children, and ect. Leo energy shines the brightest when it is in your sun sign and many famous Leos tend to pursue theater careers and are stereotyped as dramatic and attention-seeking. In a way when we first met Leon, he instantly was all like " you do what i say woman" and magically took her up in the sky to show her the stars. Logically speaking he was just trying to convince her he and the rest of the gods were for real not just trying to kidnap her XD, but the way he did all that was very dramatic and theatrical hahaha. So right off the bat, Leon was very Leo like ASSHOLE edition. In my experience, Leo placement folks are rather generous expressive and kind and although they appear to be self centered, they are kind to their friends and love to share the spotlight. Leon I guess is the kind of Leo who is sick of all this attention due to his powers (if you consider it a power hehe) and thus he wanted to withdraw himself from others and used his powers to appear dominate and in control. Leo energy is very much all about keeping up their reputation and the bad apples of the signs can come across arrogant and egoistic, which Leon shows right off the bat in his route and other routes. Leon's whole purpose is to erase his sin of rejecting true love. Leo archetype is all sharing and expressing love so Leon is basically an unevolved Leo that need to find love for himself once more. Leon was always hard on himself and due to his guilt of indirectly causing a goddess to fall from grace... I don't blame him.

Leon hides the very dark and sad feelings he has and its up to the MC to help him rediscover the true beauty and essence of love. Love does correlate with creative expression that the archetype is all about and I don't blame the king of the heavens casted him away. Leon shouldn't just waste away in self doubt and hide it in shield of aggressiveness and arrogance. Fixed signs in general can have a hard time being open to different perspectives in morale and values and when they are fixed in one way to view the world its a bit of a challenge for them to change it up. This isn’t the say all fixed signs are narrow-minded but when they do change its almost like they go through a metamorphosis and they are better then ever.

Leo is a fire sign and its also fixed, so passion and self expression is strong and upfront. I only met a few introverted Leos and even they have a certain type of stubbornness that is unmatched. Leon takes several chapters to admit his downfalls and give love one more shot. He didn’t believe in true love because all he saw was goddesses lust for his sex and power, so he came to one conclusion that love is not real and he wanted to change the heavens to see through his own image. He even attempted to overthrow the king and take his place. He was someone who thought highly himself and wanted his way only. Its no wonder he is the leader in his department due to his power and charisma that the Leo archetype is all about.

once Leon opened up his cold heart to MC then he is absolved of his sin and he can fully represent the Leo sign. He still is a bit controlling dominate and sadistic (which is why we all secretly love him for hehe) but after he reaches his revelation in love he is more caring generous and kind to the MC. He definitely did a 180 and was more daring and love struck which i can see in Leo placements in general. Leo energy is also known to be wildly sexual and hot and heavy in the bedroom. Leon in some side stories and sequels to his story he definitely is known as an amazing sex god.

The 5th House

This house in astrology is associated with our creative endeavors, hobbies, casual flings, self-expression, and artistic talents. This house is how we standout (or don't standout?) in this world compared to others or audience we are "performing" to. Leo energy is said to be the performers of all the signs so we can imagine that this energy desires to shine through. Leon is the main guy in this story and its no wonder, since he is the route who "outshines" the rest of the guys. Kidding of course LOL, but if you saw the interview of one of the writers of the story, she appeared a bit thirsty for Leon when discussing his storyline. He kept trying to paint the Heroine to be so into him when she got embarrassed over seeing him and Teo having an "orgy" ( like they were just messing around but basically it appeared to be like that LMAO) and even pointed out their bet on the Heroine to be curious and want to "watch their performance". Perhaps she did want to secretly see it but to be accused of such can be humiliating haha. I understand that since I'm a 12th house person ( I'll go over that on Ichthy's analysis if you are unfamiliar with the houses in astrology) I tend to hide my true colors and myself out of shame and insecurity and so seeing Leon being so arrogant and so full of himself rubs me the wrong way and it explains why hes one of my least favorite characters, because he represents everything i shame myself to feeling. Arrogance and cockiness can be seen in the 5th house but remember that is only shown if the said individual is enabled to do so.

Leon represents the side of this house with casual flings and self-expression. He is the head minister of the Wishes department, and even though he acts like he could care less, he is very passionate of his role. All the gods under his department respect him despite his blatant affairs. The fifth house is all about living life to the fullest and expressing ourselves in a way that makes us feel special and unique. The sun rules this house and its no wonder because the sun is the brightest star in our solar system. Leon knows this and it seems he is tired of this yet he still enjoys having the limelight still. This is very stereotypical of Leo energy in general but I feel Leon is just bored of simply getting attention just because he wants to gain attention being unexpected and challenges the King for it by attempting to take his power. I think side stories or his POV route goes over this more but Leon is tired of playing by the rules and he wants to go extreme in order to feel more "alive". From what i heard from others regarding his second season stuff and other side stories, his route is all about the DRAMA and its no wonder he's pushed to be the front man of the game....we all love a hot and dramatic story line for our daily otome hahaha (and if you don’t well....ajfklajlfjakljflajjaklajlGAJJJ lol jk do you boo).

Children also represent this house and normally its associated with your relation with children or how you are as a child. This house also might cue in about your own children if you chose to have any that is. There is a saying that says " Children brighten our world" which is fitting considering what makes us stand out and "bright" is what this house is all about. Leon is not necessarily a big fan of children (unless side stories of his reveal otherwise) but his dramatic and unfiltered comments to the Heroine can be deemed "childlike". Someone correct me but he and Partheno are the only routes that its confirmed the Heroine get preggers right? If not then what i am about to say is invalid but its no wonder Leon's route gets the married with a baby ending. I wonder how he would be as a father? I bet he will shower his child with love tender and care but would also push his child to be the best version of themselves. People in general with personal planets in the 5th house if they decide to have kids, are very good parents and would be the fun mom or dad that encouraged their kids to reach their dreams.

Planets in Leo

Okay so we talked about the archetype of Leo and the house placement and a bit of its ruling planet (the sun) of Leo as well. Now for planet placements. I will only be focusing on the 9 planets astrologers study just to keep things simpler. If anyone wants more of my take on other placements such as Chiron, North node, or even Lilith, let me know I will make a separate post for that. In a birth chart the moment you were born its made by the exact placement the planets are at the time. The sun sign is normally what horoscopes go over but did you know that Venus mars and other planets impact you even more? Since the gods rule their own sign, we can assume their birth chart is all in one sign haha. So I will be going over how Leo energy is played in each planet and how its shown in the entire main story for Leon's route.

Sun in Leo

The sun is considered our sole purpose in our life time. It also is the part of us that is our over all theme of our personality and life choices. It also is what we want to become in the future. The sun sign is normally what horoscopes focus us but the sun sign is only like a summary to our life long autobiography. Sun in Leo is Leo's true home planet and its easier to pick out Leo sun folks especially if their sun sign is positioned between the 1st and 5th houses. Leon is very much the staple of Leo with his arrogance, confidence and need to be dramatic. Though at times he tries to act like he could care less, its soooo obvious he does care about being the center of the Heroine's attention even in the begining of his route XD.

Moon in Leo

The moon sign is known as the "dark side" of your personality. The moon is the hidden sense of self that only your close loved ones or significant others experience. The moon is also associated with the mother or women in your life. The moon is how we react and how we internalize our emotions as well. Most astrologers will look at your moon sign and might come up with what kind of mother or mother figure that raised you, since the mother is the parent that teaches and nurtures us and our emotional well being. Since there was no talk about Leon's parents in the main story (maybe in side stories? ) we will talk about how Leon expresses himself emotionally and how his emotions change based on how the Heroine interacts with him as they get to know each other. I really saw his moon shine when he saw how the Heroine was passionate about helping Her best Friend Hyori's romance life. Normally Leon acts like he could care less but he was being inspired by the Heroine's persistence to make Hyori and her bf to get along again after a big fight. Another example was when Leon openly gives respect to the Heroine in teaching him love and its real meaning. Well go over that more in the Venus section. his emotions are volatile and responds when the heavens started to go against him. Leo moon folks normally are vibrant and warm folks and are good at sharing the lime light over Leo sun folks. Leon even thanks and acknowledges the Heroine for being so strong in the forbidden ending which is the epiphany of how Leo moons show their feelings.

Mercury in Leo

The mercury sign is associated with the conscious mind. This planet is all about how we communicate and retain information within. Mercury also is about our learning style and thinking pattern on a daily and mercury normally is closely aligned with our sun sign. Mercury in Leo are folks that can come across as theatrical and dramatic and are good at gassing themselves and others. The spotlight for this placement is vibrant and fun and Leon at the get go of the route is blunt with the Heroine. He is sadistic in his thinking and has fun being dominant an is very open in dialogue over that. Remeber when Leon would always call out the Heroine when she was distracted or doing something that is laughable? I do remeber her talking to Karno and he so calls out her out being a fickle goldfish. Throughtout his route he communicates with sass and always seems to want to start something. Its no wonder Zyglavis and Scorpio can't stand him, he just sooo full of himself but at least he can back it up being the strongest god in the heavens next to the king himself.

Venus in Leo

Venus is major component that Leon seems to lack connection with in the route. Venus is the planet of love, romance, and short term gains. Its also how we show are love to others and how we expect to be loved back as well in romantic relationships especially. Spolier alert, its love that Leon seems to underestimate love , causing the King of the heavens to kick him out to figure what is loveeeee baby dont hurt me (sorry i had too LOL). Leon doesnt realize this and thought since he did not pleasure the goddess that obsessed over him that was the reason he was cast away from the heavens. The 5th house has a tendency to be more about the fun and thrill regarding love and can get confused with lust. That is what Leon seem to have an issue with, he was so used to being the center of attention due to his power to give absolute pleasure but he always felt like he was being used by others. He wanted more when it comes to love and thats what the Heroine teaches him. Love can come in many different ways and I find Venus in Leo folks love to share the spotlight and help others find love within the best kind of trait in Venus in Leo.

Mars in Leo

Mars is considered the planet of action, agression and sex. Its very much the opposite of Venus. Mars is greatly shown in Leon's route, especially when he decided to fight the King of Heavens. Mars in Leo has a powerful force within any individual that has this placement. Leon's abiliies are known to be the most powerful and every god and goddess fear and respect him. Even Zyglavis the other department head fears him. going back to the concept of love, Leon confuses lust and love and he is apologetically thinks he knows better then what the heroine has to say about love and he gets aggressive if questioned or dissed. Leo placement folks tend to easily get offended and might lash out quickly if anyone questions their stance or actions. Leon is no exception and that plays in the role of fear and respect among all the gods in the heavens.

Jupiter in Leo

Jupiter is the planet of expansion and good fortune. Its the planet in our chart that gives us the most luck and talent wherever its positioned in the chart. I have this placement in my own birth chart (but in retrograde smh lol) and I think its shown in Leon's route with his natural charisma and excellent leadership skills. He might be feared and sought after the most but everyone relies on him the most when the going gets tough in the heavens. Even though he was cast out of the heavens for his sin, the gods still go to him for help as soon as they realize he can still use his powers. He basically is the ace and brings luck to the heavens when the going gets tough.

Saturn in Leo

Saturn is the planet of restrictions and discipline. Its considered the grandfather of all the planets. Leon is put on restriction for loosing interest in love and not doing his job to the fullest. He also is arrogant and looks down on those who don't have power like him. I see the king of heavens being like Saturn in these circumstances for he wants to teach Leon a lesson for getting too full of himself just becauae he has the most power. The entire route is basically synonymous to his Saturn in Leo that teaches him to not get cocky about himself and realize love's true meaning and to share love to all humans to be able to do his job correct. After all he is the head of the department of wishes and how could he grant wishes if he doesn’t even believe in the power of love?

Uranus in Leo

Uranus is considered one of the generational planets of change and humantarian pursuits. In the sign of Leo change is necessary on how you are viewed in the spotlight whether for a good or bad reasons. I think change occurred when Leon and 5 other gods where cut of their powers and had to figure out what their sin they needed to absolved from. Uranus is not comfortable in Leo since Uranus's original ruler is Aquarius, the opposing sign of Leo. So its no wonder Leon tried to fight the King and rallied up the other gods to go against him.

Neptune in Leo

Neptune is also a generational planet of modern day changes and the overall dreams society might strive for as a whole. Leon does have a wish to rule over the heavens and be the strongest god there ever is (spoiler alert he does in the ending of season 2 LOL) and he grows tired of the King of Heaven's sadistic ways so its no wonder he tries to go against him. I also associate Neptune in his job as head minister in department of wishes. Since dreams and wishes tend to intertwine, when it comes to granting wishes he seems to go for those of hidden desires in human's need to be center of attention. He did grant the boys need to get stronger to help his grandma as an example in his route. Wanting to be the center of attention is not inherently bad especially if its where you shine to help others in need and being the "hero".

Pluto in Leo

Now finally the planet of death is here haha that is not to say literal death but it does have association with the death and rebirth cycle. Pluto is the final generational planet that defines the exact generations itself ( such as boomers or generation z ect) each generation brings something new to the society and transformation on how things are change with changing times. Pluto is also represents what we need to change and evolve in our individual placements. Since the gods probably been around from many millions of years so Pluto's effects probably are more immediate then gradual. it took 12 chapters for Leon to learn about love and its true meaning so Pluto's transformation was more immediate for Leon then any human ever lol.

So How Accurate is the Game then?

So is the game accurate in representing Leo? Well that’s subjective they do got the negative stereotypes down of Leo's such as arrogance, over dramatic, and sadism but remember just because that is considered the bad traits doesnt mean all Leo's are like this. I have known a lot of great Leo's that are generous, entertaining and kind. In fact in my experience Leo's shine gives me hope for a better future in humanity itself. I think once Leon does realize the value in true love then that’s when more positive traits of Leo are shown. Leon is not overall horrible character he just has flaws that tend to get excused because he is the main guy and we as consumers that play this game are suppose to not care and want some of that shit he does to us because he is soooo hOt...Which is problematic but isn’t that the tea and Leo energy thrive in the drama in general even if they don't mean too. His route is the most dramatic and its only fitting that its because he's a Leo. Now a friend of mine (shouting out to u @bitch-pinnacle 😍) told me that the gods character design are similar to the Ascendant of each sign. The Ascendant is the sign that reflect your outward demeanor and how you are perceived to others. Finding your ascendant is by knowing your exact time of birth and it starts the entire house system in your birth chart. Leo rising are known to have hair like the mane of a lion and are expressive and lavish looking and tend to attract anyone to them. That definitely sounds like Leon. Even in his god form his hair is all big and long like a Leo rising are said to be like. So overall i think the game is pretty accurate its just that in the get go Leon embodies the negative side of Leo and I can see that rubbing you Leos the wrong way haha. After all if people say unpleasant things about you even if not meaning to can offend you. Leo folks in my experience get readily hurt fast if ridiculed or questioned. After all Leo is the performers of the zodiac and shine the most out in the open.

#leon #star crossed myth #astrology #leon scm #otome games #otome #zodiac #leo

[marias-studyblr]

Hi I've always been behind others when it comes to school and I don't know how to catch up and continue to do well at learning new things. I don't have good study habits or time management skills, which frustrates me. My grades are subpar, I feel insecure when people talk about things I should know but don't and I love languages and have other hobbies I want to do, but I can't find the time to do them, or if I do have time I avoid them. Basically, I'm struggling and I don't know what to do.

hello love! 💛 this message was so heartfelt and honest, i’m proud of you. i’m going to try and answer the best i can!  

so the first thing I want to say straight off the bat is: it’s possible for you to improve. you are not inferior to others: you can be alongside your peers. it is possible for you to become more disciplined with your time and have better grades.

it might seem like a simple concept but it’s difficult to grasp if you are not completely confident in your shoes… it’s not enough to know that your grades aren’t where they should be. that is an important first step, but an equally important step is to know you are not inferior to others because of it. whatever is going on, you can find a way around to be in the place you’ve always wanted to be. to be proud and confident in your change and growth! and that is difficult to actually feel in your heart. what you need is all already there in your head. you need to trust yourself!

these are a few things you may already know but might consider putting into practice:

do not stand still. even if you are terribly behind, DO NOT FREEZE. even if it’s not perfect or how you wanted it to be, keep studying what you can. (nothing’s ever perfect btw but) even if you can only cover 70% of the content, if you stop, it will be way worse.

you say yourself you have poor study habits and time management! my friend, that is the root of ALL your problems. students who have good grades always have their hours on track. it’s the way you can find your momentum, review what you’ve learned in class, memorize your notes - because you have the time and your routine set. that is SO important. if you don’t make the time to study, then you won’t reach your goals, it’s crystal clear! if well done, this will change your game completely:

create a study schedule, a schedule that isn’t impossible or irrealistic. devote time to study, sleep, exercise, off hours.

self discipline tips

and while you’re studying, actually study: how to study smart

🌒 now, in an academic environment, everyone seems really worried about three things: grades, grades and grades. and if you don’t feel like yours fit a certain standard, then you must be a ‘bad’ student. some days i need to take a step back, to understand that what matters is me, no one else.

we feel jealous and scared, we let that blind us to what is really happening inside, to why we are letting ourselves slack. we close to change by not recognizing what is underneath our behavior. it’s easy to think: “i’m just a lazy person”. but what is really going on? you know you don’t have good study habits or time management, you know you need to create a study schedule, you know you need to stop standing still, so what is really going on? why are you letting yourself slack off and beat yourself up in silence while still pursuing the same old same old habits? 

without recognizing that, you won’t understand why you’re struggling, why you’re not letting yourself live your best life. you need to recognize those feelings to be able to cope with them and move forward, with better habits and better mental health.

from my own experience, i’ve recognized those feelings that stop my game sometimes, and i understand why they came around, reflecting on my childhood, etc. and what i noticed, which was a really important distinction for me, was that i’m not a lazy person. i can have lazy moments, that’s normal, but i’m not a lazy person. i tend to work hard. however, i often approach problems the wrong way. there is sometimes a mental block, or a “wall” as i like to imagine it that has been/i’ve built around myself, from insecurities, self-doubt, anxiety, fear, that locks me to gravitate towards unhealthy habits naturally and keeps me away from the things i actually should be doing.

it takes a moment to get ourselves in a healthy mindset, to stop sabotaging ourselves, to get that wall down and start living our lives the way we know we can, do the things the way we know we should. because it doesn’t take much mental strength to do 5 minutes of duolingo every day, it’s really not that hard. it does take force and discipline to keep yourself in a healthy mindset and not let your day be governed by fears, insecurities, and finally STOP waiting and start doing.

we are very very very capable and smart! and we have so many opportunities. we’re not any less inferior than those who are already doing it. so what are we waiting for?

🌱if we are not applying these habits that we know we should do and we know are possible for us, if there’s some feeling or insecurity we need to let go of, we need to force ourselves out of our comfort zone and ask ourselves: why aren’t you studying right now? why aren’t you following this schedule? what’s stopping you? 

at the end of the day, our daily routine, our daily schedule is up to us! our habits are the reason we aren’t doing better. we decide how much time we spend in front of the tv. we decide if our body is worthy enough of a few minutes of exercise or good sleep. we decide that! if you are making the wrong decisions, it’s up to you to revert that, you are in full control. and that’s good news! ⭐

i would love you to have a drive and motivation that reach way beyond your academic life, that reach your whole life! because that will make you very happy and very accomplished. it is your actions that dictate your success, but only your thoughts about yourself can truly bring you the motivation and the happiness that will, in turn, give you a successful life.

✨🍃 so, i urge you to take time today to reflect on why you might have this wall built around you and try to bring it down, by recognizing your self-worth, your importance, your strength. to take time to reflect on why it is important for you to have good grades, to find success.

to take a few minutes to build a schedule for your day, to steer away from distractions, and reflect on what thoughts don’t help you and what thoughts do and will motivate you start implementing small changes in your lifestyle!!

maybe you need to spend healthy time alone away from social media from time to time, unplug and look around, maybe you need to sleep more, exercise more, to feel more energized. all these small changes will really benefit you, so i encourage you to try them out.

and to keep working on yourself. keep going back to the why’s whenever you feel yourself going off your track, but for yourself, not for your parents, not for your teachers - for yourself. things will never be perfect to start, you have to start with what you have and slowly you will build the person you wish to be. slowly, yes, little by little, yes, softly, yes, but it has to start now!

no matter if you’ve failed before, no matter if you’ll fail again, no matter what it is you are exactly afraid of, i guarantee you, there is nothing simpler and more beautiful than start listening to what you want, to what you have to say. you know the answers, you know what you have to do, so listen and start taking action! it’s imperative that you start taking yourself seriously, that you start acting like you know what you want for yourself. because you do!

🌹 it’s ok to be assertive, to be confident in yourself, to display the hard work, to let yourself know you are trying and being vulnerable to failure, but progressing! always progressing!

i will leave you with the thought that change will happen forever if you are open to it. it takes time to grow, but you’re doing it right now, and you will continue to do it so much so that one day you will look back and see how much you’ve accomplished, as long as you are open and believe in/ are ready for change! 

i hope this helped even a little bit.? 💓 i love you, please know you are not alone in your feelings. so many people can relate to your insecurities, to your doubts about your work and the future. let’s focus on our growth, on our happiness, and from the inside out we will show it! all change starts from within!

KEEP FIGHTING we are all here with you trying too! 💌🙌 lots of love your way 🍃💕

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