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beyondiridescentwings · 4 months

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The Storm

They say heartbreak can make or break a person, but I sorely underestimated how cruel and deceptively warm it could be. I thought myself something of a veteran at the game - someone who could give their all at it, but know when to close the chapter. Eventually.

I could never put into words the pain, the anger, the confusion, the desperation, the rejection, when reality set in. Like a hurricane of emotions you thought you could handle at first, and yet here you are, swept away to God knows where. You don't even know how to get back home. If there even is a home to go back to.

I'd never been good at pretending - I who always wore my heart on my sleeve, quite unfortunately - so I'm not sure how I would've looked like to an observer. This broken little thing trying to laugh and chat and seem like she's having a swell time while the unknowing perpetrator is completely unaffected.

Oh, how envious. How positively infuriating. But I can't blame him no matter how easy it would be. Love changes. Affection fades. It's just his luck that he has moved on far quicker than I. Perhaps he just got used to it with the innumerable fights. Perhaps he was no longer happy and was just waiting. Perhaps he prepared for it way more. Who knows. He's always been the adaptable one. Good for him.

I used to loathe his coldness, his indifference, but it is wrong to wish this suffering on he who once held your heart. But you know, I liked to think I was special. I liked to think I was a little more unforgettable. I liked to think he would at least shed a few more tears to what was lost. I suppose I may have been heartless when I should've been happy for his growth. In his way, he did his best. He did what he thought felt right. Who am I to tell him it wasn't enough? When we were fighting life and time themselves.

I thought I'd run out of things to say. I'd told myself I'll just let the feelings flow until the well is empty. But it's a different kind of torture to experience things with him but not "with him". To hear his voice every day and not have it say my name. To hear him laugh and not have it be just for me. It is anguish. But he wanted to stay friends, right? And I, coward that I am, thought I could cling to whatever lifeline was thrown at me.

Will I drown because of this selfish stupidity? When will I find the courage to let go and choose to be free? Do I want to be free?

In my vulnerability, I thought I wanted to forget. In my desperation, I wanted to regret. He should've left well alone. I should've not held so tightly. We shouldn't have hoped. We were happy, yes, but seeing him cast those memories aside like they were just level-up experience broke something in me. Enraged, I wanted to convince myself that it wasn't worth it. But then who am I kidding? The days I spent looking over at him while he blissfully played his games and watched his videos and made silly faces at me were the days I felt like nothing in the world could make me happier. The mornings where I woke up to his sleeping face wishing it could be every day were the mornings I felt safe and loved and the luckiest girl in the world.

Maybe one day I'll find a new love, the love I was meant to have. Or maybe I'll find peace with myself and live alone to support my family. After all, who would have the energy to keep going through all this over and over?

Maybe one day I'll wake up no longer able to remember his face, or his voice, or the warmth of his hands, and the softness of his lips. And maybe I'll be content with that.

Maybe someone will see me again for who I was, and tell me I needn't change, truly. Or maybe I'll be a better person and finally start taking care of myself again.

I'm not really sure what I want exactly in the future, all I know is I just want to get through today. One day at a time. So when I look back to him and me, I can say with 100% certainty that I'm glad I didn't forget, that it happened. Because anything that made you smile a genuine smile has to be worth remembering, right?

- 01/14/24

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sugadaily · 3 years

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On tvN’s You Quiz on the Block, SUGA told stories from before his debut. The period of his life when he struggled with how to live off his music. SUGA and BTS have kept going and going for eight years, and now he’s on their grounds, where he can do anything he wants musically. What began with that long journey is the story of SUGA holding his head up higher and staring at the future, reaching for it.

How are you feeling after your shoulder surgery? You’re doing physical therapy in parallel with work. SUGA: I’m all right. I’m keeping up with the physical therapy, too. I had surgery last year because I wanted to be able to go back to work sooner. I have nothing else to do except music.

You said that there’s nothing for you to do other than music in the “BE-hind Story” interview on YouTube, too. SUGA: It’s true. I tried gaming, but I have no talent for it. The people I play with online get so frustrated if I do. I mean, I��m working hard and got some recognition in my life, and yet people bash me so hard in games. (laughs)

I wonder if there’s a game you can do better in than you do in your career. You’re currently at your sixth week at number one on the Billboard Hot 100 [with “Butter, at the time of this interview]. (laughs) How are you feeling these days? SUGA: When we were at number one for two weeks straight, I was like, Wow, this is so amazing! But after the fifth or sixth week, we really started to talk about it between ourselves: I really can’t believe this. Anyway, I feel like I have a responsibility. And I think I’ll end up thinking much, much more when we get ready for the next promotion. Even if I just try to enjoy this situation, it hasn’t sunk in. We can’t leave the country, plus there’s lots of issues in the world right now that are much more important than how well we perform on the charts.

As you say, it’s a tough situation, all over the world. How do you feel about releasing “Permission to Dance,” with its positive message, at this point in time? SUGA: It seems like everyone around the world is really tired of this situation dragging out. I wanted to convey a message that tells people to keep hanging on to hope until the very end. Whereas we released the album BE in this situation, seemingly without any certainty, I believe things will slowly get better now. I don’t know if we can go back to the way things were before, but I’m still working with the hope that we can return to a situation that resembles what we had before.

Aren’t you tired of the pandemic being in this prolonged state? SUGA: I look at it as, when you lose one thing, you gain another. I ended up being able to see my family more since I’m in Korea. In that sense, I feel more stable, so I’m not so much tired as hoping each day that things will become okay soon. I keep moving back and forth between work and home, and I’ve started to reflect on parts of myself I didn’t know about before. Like that I feel somewhat comfortable when I start and finish work at a certain time. While I used to have to go to bed at a certain time for work the next day or else I had a hard time getting up early, now I know I’ve figured out what time I should wake up at to make sure I feel good all day. What I pursue in life is emotional stability, and I don’t think there’s really anything too exciting or sad happening these days.

What effect do those emotions have when you work on music? SUGA: They don’t have a big effect on it. I think it affects the way I write lyrics a bit, but I’m not working on any lyrics at the moment. I’ve been making music for a long time, so I think it’s possible for me to express emotions I’m not feeling in the moment. And it’s good that we released “Permission to Dance” in this kind of situation.

You sing rather than rap in “Permission to Dance.” In addition to rapping, you started singing more both before and after BE. What did you learn about your voice? SUGA: “Permission to Dance” was a little bit difficult. I don’t draw a line between singing and rapping or anything, but it was different from our usual style, and the vocals were a bit high, too. So even though it took a while to prepare for it, I worked hard, and even when I asked some older musicians for their opinions, they all said, “It’s good the way you’re doing it. Don’t try to sing better—just sing more.” I think my only option is to sing more, like they suggested.

As far as style goes, you’ve been doing a smoother kind of pop music. Did any differences arise as a result of these changes? SUGA: All things considered, the English was the hardest part. I paid close attention to my pronunciation in “Butter” and “Permission to Dance.” It wasn’t easy to capture that smooth feeling in the songs, so I practiced my pronunciation quite a bit. And I end up breathing a lot when I’m doing an English song, but the rap parts were a bit hard for that reason. There’s a clear difference from Korean songs, since English has so many syllables. But I don’t have any one method I stick with for my vocals yet, so I tend to try lots of different things out.

What do you make of BTS’s achievements over the past year with “Permission to Dance” and “Butter,” as well as the group’s change in style? In the space of a year, you’ve released songs in a style different from MAP OF THE SOUL: 7 or BE. SUGA: As a producer, I think reactions are important to an artist who works within the field of popular music. With that in mind, speaking as a producer, “Dynamite,” “Butter” and “Permission to Dance” were the best choices. And musical tastes are different from country to country, and the cultures are different, too. Given that situation, I think it’s important that we’re a group who can send such a universal message out into the world.

BTS has really grown and changed a lot, starting with “No More Dream” and all the way to “Permission to Dance.” SUGA: I think it’s a natural course of event for those of us who make pop music. Artists mix and match different genres as they grow, and the music develops as the people of its time listen to it. I’ve been listening to a ton of music lately, and thanks to the times we live in, if I listen to a song a few times, they recommend me more songs in a similar style. And after listening to them, I realized the style of hip hop is also changing and is splitting off into different offshoots. Other than hip hop, I also listen to a lot of instrumental music. I’ve always liked Hans Zimmer’s music. There have been many times where a movie I like turns out to have music by Hans Zimmer.

What is it about Hans Zimmer’s music that draws you in? SUGA: I like orchestral music. There’s a lot of pop songs that are under the three-minute mark now, and whereas it’s sort of predetermined that they’re always written with intros that are four bars long, orchestral music can do a lot within its framework.

But, as can be seen in IU’s song “eight,” which you both produced and featured on, you broke out of pop music’s typical composition style and tried out a highly condensed progression. The composition of the chorus is very straightforward. SUGA: Yes. I insisted that the flow be roughly cut in half from that of a typical song, and I expect more pop music will be like that in the future. And maybe even shorter as time goes on. I mean, these days there’s songs that are under two minutes, even.

Regardless, I felt the chorus in “eight” is extremely dramatic with its structure and the melody of the chorus. I thought it was rather grand in scale as well. Would you say that you’re attempting to mix your tastes and things you want to do into the structure of pop music? SUGA: As you know, I love hip hop, so when I was first making music I thought it had to be hip hop no matter what and that I had to take pride in my own ideas and not accept any compromise. But while getting some experience at the forefront of pop music, I figured out that you can keep being stubborn or inflexible because there are people listening to you. There was a time I made music without any listeners before I became a member of BTS. But if someone were to ask if I stopped being stubborn about the music I’m making these days, the answer’s no. As I grew up and became an adult, I came to realize that I have to negotiate between what I want to do and the kind of music the public wants without compromising anything. When I give up on something I wanted to do, I ask myself, What will I get out of this? And conversely, when I want to do something, I ask myself, What can I get out of this? That’s how I keep my balance to make it to where I am now.

You have no choice but to think about those things when you work on other artists’ songs, especially when you’re a producer. SUGA: I’m BTS’s SUGA, and I’m Agust D, and when I’m producing, I go by “by SUGA.” But when it comes to by SUGA, I make perfectly commercial music. I’m the producer for those songs, sure, but the owner is someone else, you know? In that case, they’re commissioning my work. But they wouldn’t think about just leaving it all with SUGA. The artist’s label has to think carefully about whether to commission me for producing and consider my situation, too, and those people must be hoping for something commercial. That’s the most important part of working with outside people. Actually, that kind of work isn’t much of a benefit to me, to be honest. Oh, he can write this kind of song, too. That’s all. The more valuable thing I can get from it is the recognition and records the artist or the company will get with the song instead.

As you noted in your previous Weverse Magazine interview, when you discussed your “interest in the music industry in the US,” you seem to constantly think about the things artists can do within the framework of the music industry. SUGA: I don’t know. It’s just that I’ve become more certain since the pandemic started that I’m the kind of person who always has to be doing music. That much I know for sure, so I want to keep on making good music. And the pop music market is something that came about because there were people listening, and there’s a long history to the US music market, and it possesses the most influential charts in the whole word. So then I thought, Wouldn’t they have gone through all the same things that we have? And really, whenever I talk to other pop stars, the situation is always similar. The US is also more realistic about commercial results than any other country. I wanted an accurate picture of how those people work. Right now, Korean pop music’s spread is in full swing and we need more good artists to keep popping up. From a producer’s standpoint, if that’s going to happen, I think the key is how well we can mix our music and the characteristics of overseas music industries overall.

How did it feel to be in the lineup for the Grammy Awards, one of the icons of the US music industry? SUGA: The feeling was less immediate because we couldn’t be there in person, and it wasn’t a huge distinction, but the performance made me think, This is different, because it’s the Grammys. What changed my view from the first time I went to an American music awards ceremony was, the first time I went, I was really scared of the world’s biggest music market. But when I look back now, I don’t think I had any reason to feel that intimidated. To be honest, I have only now begun to enjoy the awards ceremonies; I wasn’t able to then.

It’s no exaggeration to say that you’ve achieved most of the things that you can as an artist in the music industry. What steps do you think are necessary for the artists who follow after BTS? SUGA: The way artists work seems so difficult. They make an appearance on a different music show every day once the promotional period begins, meaning the exhaustion artists face is enormous, and that fatigue often results in injuries as it adds up. That kind of music show is for promotional purposes, so it’s not like the artists can earn a proper income from them. On top of that, despite all the promoting, there’s no visible outcome, so they inevitably lose morale. If possible, it’d be nice to have one of the performances be really high-quality, even if it’s just the one, but in this environment I’d say that’s pretty difficult. And since our job doesn’t fit the common conception of work, there’s ambiguous boundaries when it comes to issues of legal protection as well. We need a lot of improvements to be made to the industry and its system.

They demand a lot of things as collateral for success, yet success is extremely difficult to attain. SUGA: The great thing about the label I’m with is they listen to the artists’ opinions. I think both we and the label know to a certain degree what kinds of activities would be best commercially speaking. But the question is whether the body can endure it or not. If the fatigue builds up as you continuously do those promotional activities, it’s hard to do them the way you did when you first debuted. In that case, I think the label ought to actively accommodate the artist’s views about what they can and cannot do. An attitude that’s just like, Oh, we made you kids, and as long as you just do what we tell you to it’ll all work out, so just do it—I think that really doesn’t make any sense. Of course, there could still be situations where the label has to be pushy like that, obviously. But I heard there’s been times where a label will just say, Do it, without any explanation to the artist, or, Why are you talking so much? I think that’s the biggest issue and it’s destroying the industry. If you just see the artist as a product, how can they do anything creative? I really think it’s very contradictory to ask the people on stage to put on an enjoyable performance when they’re experiencing neither fun nor enjoyment.

That reminds me of the music video for “Daechwita” somehow. You appear onscreen as both a rebel character and a king, looking as different as your situation when you first debuted with BTS and your situation now. SUGA: There was a lot I wanted to do in “Daechwita,” not just musically but also visually, and a lot of ideas came to me as I came to reflect on who I am as a person while working on the music video. It naturally occurred to me to separate SUGA, by SUGA and Agust D. The character I played in that video who wasn’t the king was a stranger. It takes place during the Joseon era, but then there’s cars and guns, which of course don’t belong in that era. I think we’ve been living our lives that way. Right from our debut, a portion of the hip hop lovers criticized us by saying, They’re idols. But at the same time, we heard things like, They’re not idols. I didn’t know which drumbeat to march to, so I think that’s why each of our albums took a different direction than people were expecting. But I don’t think I can call myself a stranger in this situation anymore. So these days my main goal is to keep going with BTS for a long time. Having a huge audience show up at our concerts is nice, but I think the goal for all of us is to make sure the group can keep making music even as we get older. I think right now we’re thinking a lot about how we can have fun and be happy on stage.

What do you mean when you say fun and happy music? SUGA: I think people are happier the busier I am, so lately I’ve been thinking that I need to focus a little more. I figure we should do as much as we can for ARMY since they feel happy watching us. We’ll continue to try our best, so I hope they believe in BTS and keep their eyes on us.

So that’s why you do music. SUGA: This is the only thing I know how to really do. Other than music and BTS, there’s nothing special about me when I look at this 28-year-old Min Yoongi. That’s why I want to keep doing this.

#yoongi #suga #bangtan #bts #210730 #interview

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peekbackstage · 3 years

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I noticed in one of your responses that you speculated that Xiao Zhan is currently the #1 star in china and his agent is probably not inclined to request talent buyers but rather command top pruce. Can you expand a bit on your thought process? I always feel like without the usual modes of exposure through various high end endorsements and appearances in shows and stage, he has lost a lot of influence and power. Granted he finally has The Wold air, and attended two live events, but rest of the year he has has no new endorsements, shows or appearances. Is it just the various ranking charts that would lend him his influence? How do talent buyers figure out the ‘pull’ any actor would have??

Disclaimer: The following response includes both facts and speculation that is informed by my 10+ year career in the music industry.

“Xiao Zhan is currently the #1 star in China” is probably not what many fans would expect to hear after the year Xiao Zhan has had. In fact, it wasn’t too long ago that I also did not believe this, but quite a number of factors have moved my assessment.

There are a few factors that determines how a talent buyer might assess an artist. These factors include:

HARD DATA

Social media following

Sales and streaming figures

Viewership

TV rankings

Awards rankings

Brand deals

Media reach

SOFT DATA

Internal projections

“Hype”

Overall marketability

Market sentiment

Media sentiment

All of this culminates in a general assessment that helps to determine how much an artist is “worth.” Essentially, you might as well call all of these key performance indicators (KPIs).

If you consider that artists are a brand, and all brands can either appreciate or depreciate in value depending on market sentiment, you might be able to get a better understanding of how artists are evaluated.

To provide a concrete example that might help everyone understand how this works a little better, think for a moment about how public companies increase in value and how stock prices rise and fall. If a company reports solid earnings (hard data) and announces that they will be releasing a new line of highly anticipated products (hype), this increases market sentiment, which then results in a direct increase in positive price action for their stock. Conversely, companies that have bad earnings reports and lackluster product offerings might see a sell-off that results in a drop in price (and therefore, in value) when information hits the news cycles.

Like companies, artists are evaluated much the same way. Consider that Xiao Zhan was, prior to the 227 Incident, at the very top of the game in China. He held a huge amount of brand deals and was highly sought after, especially after his popularity skyrocketed due to the international acclaim he received from The Untamed. All of this created an intrinsic “value” that translated to a specific guarantee price.

(Guarantee: the price a talent buyer guarantees an artist when they are booked for a performance.)

The 227 Incident for Xiao Zhan is what we would call a “Black Swan” event. Another Black Swan event is COVID-19, which decimated the stock market in March 2020. Over 90% of companies listed on the S&P 500 had “distributed large negative returns.” Did this catastrophic event mean that it was the end for all of these companies? Absolutely not. Was 227 the end for Xiao Zhan? Absolutely not.

These are basic fundamentals that talent buyers understand, especially if an artist hasn’t been blackballed or been subjected to a career death. Sometimes, artists have scandals. Some have a hard time coming back from them, but Xiao Zhan’s enduring popularity has not waned, even if he did lose brand deals and has not really been in the spotlight.

The following KPIs are what a talent agent would notice for Xiao Zhan:

#1 selling single in 2020 - 光点 (Spotlight) sold over 40.9 million copies with pretty much no promotion, which is actually insane. (This actually qualifies him for an RIAA diamond certification!!! There are only 44 other singles that have earned this ranking.)

The Wolf became the #1 streaming show in China the moment it was released, entirely because of Xiao Zhan’s popularity. It immediately led to a significant amount of positive media coverage, both domestically and worldwide.

TV viewership surged dramatically when Xiao Zhan appeared on December 5 as a surprise guest. (I forgot the exact figure, but I think I read it was 17 million? Please correct me if I am wrong.) This positive statistic is another solid green check mark for talent agents.

Xiao Zhan’s Red Sea was a top trending topic and had massive media coverage. This is essentially what agents are looking for when they book artists. It means HYPE HYPE HYPE, and HYPE means MONEY MONEY MONEY

Positive media coverage over Xiao Zhan’s fans cleaning up the entire arena

Massive award sweep - In 2020, Xiao Zhan won every single major award he was nominated for, and took #1 in pretty much all other smaller media award lists, except for 2. Here is the list: Jinri Toutiao Awards - Most Noticed Male Celebrity Weibo Awards - Hot Figure of the Year - The Untamed Weibo Awards - Weibo King China Literature Awards - Actor of the Year - The Untamed, Jade Dynasty China Literature Awards - Heartthrob Actor - Jade Dynasty China Screen Award - New Actor of the Year - Jade Dynasty 27th ERC Chinese Top Ten Awards - Top Ten Songs “Unrestrained” with Wang Yibo 27th ERC Chinese Top Ten Awards - Top Ten Songs “Remaining Years” Weibo TV Series Awards - Most Popular Actor - The Wolf Tencent Entertainment White Paper - Male Singer of the Year - “Spotlight” Tencent Entertainment White Paper - Star Power of the Year Tencent Video All Star Awards - VIP Star WeTV 2020 Awards - Best Wuxia Drama - The Untamed WeTV 2020 Awards - Best Male Lead TCC Asia The 100 Most Influential Faces of 2020 - #1 TCC Asia The Most Handsome Faces of Asia - #1 Weibo The Most Beautiful Charity Ambassador in 2020 - #1 Starmometer The 100 Sexiest Men in the World 2020 - #1 TCC Asia The 100 Most Handsome Face in Asia Pacific 2020 - #1 Top Beauty World The 100 Most Handsome Men in the World 2020 - #1 WeChat 2020’s Top 10 Handsome Idols - #3 TC Candler The 100 Most Handsome Faces in the World 2020 - #7 Yes, even despite everything that happened in 2020, Xiao Zhan still took home quite a lot of awards! Note that a number of these awards were won after the 227 Incident, notably, the Weibo TV Series Awards, the WeTV 2020 Awards, and Tencent Video All Star Awards.

Changing market sentiment - Overall market sentiment with Xiao Zhan is trending more positive than negative. Essentially, if Xiao Zhan were a company, they would describe this as a “bullish crossover” and a “bull trend.”

In general, all of the above helps to form a talent buyer’s assessment of the intrinsic value of an artist. And this is largely why I personally believe and would assess Xiao Zhan to be China’s #1 star that will provide any stakeholder with the #1 ROI, which has already been statistically proven by the strength of his sales and continued award wins.

Of course, I can’t say with absolutely certainty whether or not Chinese talent buyers absolutely, positively see it this way, but this is more or less how most talent buyers evaluate talent. If Xiao Zhan were to be evaluated as an asset at this very moment, he would essentially be rated as asset that is in the process of “mooning.” (I.e. Going [back up] to the moon. Breakout positive trend! It’s raining money again!)

I have a very hard time imagining that any talent buyer worth their salt would somehow miss the clear indicators that show the tides are changing and a trend crossover has occurred.

I have strong faith in a full comeback for Xiao Zhan. I believe that he will soar once more - not only in popularity, but also in success. While he will always have antis who will try to dim his shine, I fully believe that there is nothing that can stop the brightest star in the sky from ascending to new heights.

I only see blue skies above.

#xiao zhan #talent buyers #artist valuation #music industry #industry speculation #Anonymous #ask #peek answers

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fyeah-bangtan7 · 3 years

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SUGA: “This is the only thing I know how to really do”

You said that there’s nothing for you to do other than music in the “BE-hind Story” interview on YouTube, too. SUGA: It’s true. I tried gaming, but I have no talent for it. The people I play with online get so frustrated if I do. I mean, I’m working hard and got some recognition in my life, and yet people bash me so hard in games. (laughs)

#bangtan #suga #m:weverse magazine #210731

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doyumacy · 3 years

Text

FALLOUT |LH| TWELVE (ALTERNATE FINALE)

*gif not mine

PAIRING: donghyuck x reader bodyguard!donghyuck

WARNINGS: none

WORD COUNT: 2,2K

@tyongf-sunflower99

ONE TWO THREE FOUR FIVE SIX SEVEN EIGHT NINETEN ELEVEN

After you arrived at the hangar destination, you got off of the car and grabbed your belongings. All of you went to the airstrip where the jet was already waiting for you. Everyone started to board the plane when Donghyuck let go off your hand. You looked at him. "I think I left my wallet in the car. I'll be right back."

"I'm gonna wait for you here," you say nicely.

He nodded and walked back in the hangar where the black suv was. He found his wallet underneath the pilot's seat and took it. He started walking towards the plane again and smiled when he saw you on the staircase. God, he was so in love with you.

Donghyuck hurried his step and as he went up the stairs he gave you a kiss. "All the time you look beautiful, but today you look... radiant."

If you only knew. You thought.

“I needed the mountain air I guess,” you shrug. “Come one, everyone is waiting for us.”

The flight was almost 2 hours, but Taeyong couldn't keep his head clear. He knew that he didn't want you to be with Donghyuck and had a solid plan, but now things had changed. You were pregnant and as much as he hated him, he wouldn't leave a child fatherless.

He’d take care of your father and make sure he would never hurt you or your baby. Taeyong promised that to himself.

When you two got home, you took a long bath stating you were tired from the flight and Donghyuck joined you. You got dressed in comfortable sweatpants and one of his hoodies.

"Nice hoodie," he leaned down and kissed your head. “I’m going to order some Thai. Want your usual?”

“Yeah, sure,” you responded flatly.

After you two ate, you went to your bedroom and Donghyuck was lying in bed on his stomach watching TV. ‘It’s now or never’, you said to yourself.

Climbing onto the bed, you startled Donghyuck's lower back. As you ran your hands up his back and over his shoulders, you commented, “I have some big news.”

“Oh yeah? That feels good by the way.” He answered.

“Feeling relaxed?” you continued massaging his back. His response was a nod. Swallowing the lump in your throat you continued, “Okay. So, God, uh, I’m…pregnant. About six weeks.” You felt Donghyuck tense immediately.

He flipped over making you slide off him. Donghyuck sat at the side of the bed, “Pregnant. As in we’re going to be parents? Okay... okay. Wow.”

Crawling over to him, you put your arms around his neck. He placed his hands over yours. “Are you mad?”, you asked sheepishly.

Donghyuck let out a held breath. “Mad? No. Surprised? 100%. I mean I know we really never use protection, so not shocked. Just…wow.”

You sat back on your heels staring at his back. He turned around, “So, a baby. Okay. I’m going to be a dad.” He smiled big. “I like the sound of that.” He wrapped you on his arms.

You smiled and snuggled into his neck. He stroked your hair gently as he kissed your temple.

“We’re going to be parents.” You sniffled. You took his hands and placed them on your stomach that would expand in a matter of weeks. “I’m scared though.” You confessed.

Donghyuck's eyes glint, his focus fixed on your stomach, not able to fathom that he was going to be a father. “Me too.” He placed one hand on your cheek, wiping the stray tears away. “But as long as I have you with me, I think I can manage.”

Smiling at his words, you leaned forward to press your lips against his. Sharing a sweet kiss from the person you loved and trusted the most. Soon enough, the fear was slowly being replaced by excitement. You couldn’t wait to meet your little bundle of joy.

"So... that explains your weird cravings," Donghyuck said after a while. "Who in hell even eats watermelon with salt?"

You laughed. "Apparently our baby."

(...)

“Hyuck, would you calm down a little? You’re gonna hit your head on the ceiling if you start bouncing any higher,” You giggled as you pulled your shirt up for the doctor.

“Couldn’t stop, even if I wanted too,” He said. “I'm gonna see my baby for the first time.”

You winced as the doctor applied the cold gel onto your belly and then smiled as you saw Donghyuck's eyes had lit up with pure joy upon seeing their baby on the monitor for the first time. And a moment later when he’d heard the heartbeat. You practically melted as he looked at you with watery eyes.

The doctor moved the wand over your stomach for a moment, staring hard at the monitor. A slight crease in her brow occurred as she tilted her head and narrowed her eyes.

When she didn’t say anything, you fought back a sudden bolt of panic. “Is everything alright?”

Shaking herself out of thought, the doctor smiled and said, “Oh yes, of course. I’m sorry if I alarmed you there for a moment, but it just took me a second to make sure I was seeing this correctly.”

“Seeing what correctly?” Donghyuck frowned.

“You see this here?” the doctor pointed to a blob on the screen. “That’s your baby. And this over here,” she pointed to a smaller blob that was partially hidden by the first. “That’s your other baby. Both are looking perfectly normal at this stage. Congratulations, you’re having twins! It’s hard to definitively say whether they’re identical or fraternal at right now, but I’m leaning towards identical.”

“Twins! y/n, we’re having twins!” If Donghyuck had been excited before the ultrasound, now he was practically jumping for joy as he grinned from ear to ear.

Your response, however, was definitely... different.

“What?!” Your eyes went wide in horror as you stared at the doctor. “That has to be a mistake.”

The doctor shook her head. “It’s not. I can say with one hundred percent certainty that you’re having twins.”

“y/n—”

"Oh, my God."

Back in your house, you were still shocked you were having twins. TWINS.

“You wanna talk about this?” Donghyuck offered.

Nothing.

“y/n. Talk to me.”

Nothing.

“Oh really, the silent treatment? Real mature.”

Nothing.

“Fine,” he conceded. “If that’s how you wanna be. Two can play at that game.” He crossed his arms across his chest to emphasize his point.

He lasted all of one minute.

“Okay seriously, y/n, stop ignoring me. It’s not like this is my fault. It takes two to tango!”

That one earned him a glare so scorching, he could feel the heat radiating on his face. Okay, not ideal.

“You know, twins can be a lot of fun—”

“A lot of fun?! A lot of fun?!” You finally cracked. “Castle! That’s double the crying, double the feeding, double the pooping, double the mess! I’m gonna have to push not one, but two babies, who will have your enormous head, out of my vagina and it’s all your fault!”

“My fault?! How is it my fault?” Donghyuck sputtered.

"You’re the one that has twins running in his family!”

“Okay, hold up. I have like two distant relatives—whom I’ve never even met—on my mother’s side who are twins. That doesn’t mean it runs in my family.”

“I just can’t believe you gave me twins!”

Donghyuck ran his fingers through his hair. “For the last time, it’s not. Completely. My. Fault. And what gives, Kate? I know we weren’t expecting this, but are you really that mad about it that you won’t stop and realize that we just got to see our babies for the first time?”

You sighed.

“What’s wrong? Why are you so angry over this?”

“I just...I’m not gonna lie, it threw me off,” You said. “I went in there thinking we were gonna see one baby and instead we saw two. It never even crossed my mind that this would happen. And to be honest, it scared me.”

“Well I’m not gonna lie, it scared me a little too,” He admitted. “One’s hard enough to handle. But two? Yeah, that’s a lot.”

“I’m sorry about how I reacted. It wasn’t fair of me to blow up at you like that.”

“Already forgiven,” he said, pressing a kiss to your hair.

“It’s just a lot to process. Twins are a handful as is, but given your genes,” you said teasingly.

“Hey,” he warned playfully. “I wouldn’t mind a girl and a boy. It’d be nice."

You chuckled. “You better give me both of your hands when I’m giving birth to both of them.”

(...)

Your mouth felt dry and you swallowed thickly in an effort to regain some moisture. Blearily you opened your eyes to a room that was far too white, much too loud, and very much not your own.

“...Where?” You croaked softly, you could feel Donghyuck's presence as though it was a tangible thing, and you knew the fingers that brushed your hair away from your eyes were those of his. Your babies, his little boy and girl. You tried to sit up and you saw a figure cradling your crying children and walking away.

No.

No, your babies. You tried harder to sit up, your body trembling with the effort. Where was that woman going? Those were your children, crying for you.

“Ssshhh, y/n sshh,” Donghyuck coaxed, and placed his hand on your shoulder, gently pushing you back into the bed. Panic and frustration clawed at you. Your babies, your children, that woman was taking them and Donghyuck wasn’t doing anything. You felt hot tears welling up and you looked at him.

“Donghyuck,” you pleaded, struggling to sit up again, your eyes flicking between him and the woman holding your twins, she was dressed in scrubs and wearing a mask, and oh. Comprehension sank in and you fell back into the bed with a heavy thud and while feeling very much a fool. Then you remembered. You slipped and fell down the stairs, hitting your head.

Donghyuck kissed your forehead. The nurse made her way back to the bed and placed the twins -now bundled in blue and pink blankets- into your more than welcoming arms.

Oh, it was the most intensely wonderful feeling in the world and you couldn’t help but smile down at them. These tiny people that you had birthed, back in your arms where they belonged. You slowly rocked them and their soft crying stopped while yours continued.

“They’re beautiful, y/n,” Donghyuck assured him, leaning down and wiggling his finger in each of their faces. He kissed your forehead, and then one on each of the twins’ and then yours a second time.

“They look like you,” you murmured, voice thick. So small, so fragile with only wisps of hair on their heads, the most beautiful things you had ever seen.

“I love you,” He cooed, placing a kiss on top of your head. "The three of you."

“Do you have names?” the same nurse asked.

“Eunwoo and Eunbin.”

The house was clean and quiet, only the faint sound of running water from your bathroom was heard. When you heard the shower turn off, you went to make two cups of Donghyuck's favorite tea. As you waited for the kettle to bubble, you stared out the open window to their tiny backyard. You could smell the faint fragrance of the jasmine.

You were pouring hot water into your cups when your heard Donghyuck's slippered feet padding towards the kitchen.

“Tea?”

“Mm.” You smiled when you felt his warm palm between your shoulder blades. “It’s not so late yet. I thought we could sit and relax, talk about our day.”

“Just like the old times.”

“The old times. Like, seven months ago.”

“It’s weird,” Donghyuck sighed. “It feels like forever ago.”

“And yet…” You turned around and looped your arms around Donghyuck's waist, tilted your head up slightly so you could look at your husband. “It feels like time flies so quickly.”

Donghyuck and you had gotten married almost 2 months ago in a small ceremony with your closest friends.

“It does.” He landed a small kiss on the tip of your nose.

You smirked. "I'm so happy, you know? The three of you make me so happy."

Donghyuck pressed a fond, lingering kiss on your cheek. And then on your forehead. “You’re still my baby tho.” He whispered near your left ear.

You were glad that Donghyuck couldn’t see your face, because your cheeks felt on fire.

“Aish.” You mumbled. You could feel Donghyuck's smile against your hair.

"Hyuck?"

“Mmm?”

“I love you.” You murmured

Donghyuck smiled and cupped your face. He planted a soft kiss and then bite your lip, pulling it. "Should we give the twins a new sibling?"

You growl, pushing him away. "No. Maybe in 3 years."

Donghyuck laughed. "Imagine if this time we get triplets."

"You will never fuck me ever again," you warn.

#donghyuck imagine #donghyuck smut #donghyuck x reader #nct haechan #haechan imagine #haechan x reader #haechan smut

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yelena-bellova · 4 years

Text

Don’t Be Afraid: Poe Dameron x Solo!Reader - Chapter One

*gif is not mine*

Chapter One: War Waits For No One

Series Masterlist

Plot: Reader is part of the Solo family and is a Commander in the Resistance. The war weighs heavy on her, but not as heavily as the war within her. Torn between who she wishes to be and who, deep down, she knows she is, she fights to protect her family, her galaxy and the man she might just love.

Warning: None

Word Count: 1.8k

A/N: OKAY. So I just kind of dreamed this up one day while I was feeling creative and I figured I’d try it. I’ve been a Star Wars fan all my life but have never really tried writing for it. I’ve got a lot of plans for this series if it works out so I hope you guys like it! Poe’s not in this chapter, this sets up a bit of the Reader’s story, but you’ll get a healthy dose of him in the next chapter. If you’d like to be tagged, let me know. Forgive any typos or mistakes, my hands still aren’t functioning at 100%, and may the 4th be with you 💫

It happened again.

The dream.

I awoke gasping for air and throwing my arms out to their sides to remind myself I was in reality. I felt the scratchy blanket that laid across me, rubbing the material between my fingers to draw myself further out of my head. Pulling it off, I swung my legs over the edge of the bed and buried my face in my hands. My heartbeat wasn’t slowing down and my breathing was still ragged, it was like I hadn’t woken up at all.

The dream had been occurring since I was a child, but it had begun increasing in intensity over the past few months. The number of bodies that lay at my feet increased, the screams grew louder and the two figures in the distance came closer. After all these years, I still couldn’t make out their faces through the smoke in the air. All I could see with certainty was one was clothed in black and one was clothed in brown.

“Don’t be afraid...” one of the voices called out.

I rubbed my eyes as if I thought I could wash what I’d seen from them. It felt like my subconscious was trying to warn me about something. Like something was coming and I needed to prepare myself. The dream had began feeling significantly more real. I could tell this was going to be an “off” day, I’d be analyzing this till I fell into bed again and inevitably started the cycle again.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the hiss of the ship door opening and quickly closing. I ran a hand through my hair and left my spot in bed to start my morning. I could hear a familiar Wookie grumbling but I couldn’t make out what he was saying.   “Well how was I supposed to know they were gonna be there? And shh, you’ll wake her up.”

Now that voice I could hear just fine.

“Too late, she’s already up.” I said as I walked out into the open area of the ship.

Han and Chewie turned to face me, guilt flooding their faces over thinking their squabble had woken me. They’d woken me up so many times before without knowing that I didn’t feel like correcting them this time.

“Sorry, kid,” Han said while coming to wrap an arm around my shoulders and shoving a white paper bag in my hands, “Does breakfast soften the blow at all?”

I opened it and stuck my nose inside, breathing in the spices of the pastries. “It does when they’re my favorite.” I gave him a kiss on the cheek and made my way to the nearby table. The ship we were currently residing in was far from the Millennium Falcon, but it did it’s job just fine. That didn’t stop me though from missing the former though...

Chewie followed close behind and sat opposite of me, ruffling my hair as he passed by. I smiled at him as I handed him a pastry before sinking my teeth into one of the two remaining.   “What trouble did you run into this time?” I shouted out to Han, he was already in the cockpit checking on something.   ”It was nothing!”

I looked up to Chewie with a raised eyebrow, as quietly as he could (which wasn’t very quiet at all) he explained what had happened while they were buying breakfast.   My eyes widened, “You ran into another bounty hunter?!”

“We took care of it and walked away alive, it was nothing.” Han explained as he exited the cockpit and strolled over to the table casually.

“Meaning you shot him, caused a scene and ran.” I stated, no doubt that I was right.

He stumbled over his words as I smirked at him, “Cockiness is not a good look on you,” he said with a finger pointed my direction.

“Only look I’ve got,” I scooted further into the bench and Han took a seat next to me. The both of us went silent, not wanting to bring up the subject we were happily dancing around. Each visit I made inevitably had to come to an end. And while Han wasn’t big on showing emotions, I knew saying goodbye was just as hard on him as it was me.

Instead of beginning the conversation, I awkwardly slid the bag containing the last pastry in it towards him. Han shook his head slightly, “Nah, take it. For the trip back.”

I looked over to him and gave a sad smile, one that he mimicked. Chewbacca let out a small whine, he didn’t like seeing me leave any more than Han did. I reached across the table and held the Wookie’s paw, trying not to laugh at the amount of crumbs that surrounded his mouth. There weren’t many warm and fuzzy moments when travelling with Han Solo, but this was one of them.

But it had to end at some point.

“I got a look at the transport schedules, there’s one headed to D’Qar in about an hour and a half. Otherwise you’d have to wait till tonight.” Han stated, breaking both the silence and a little bit of my heart.

I nodded solemnly and looked down at the table, “I really should get back sooner than later. I packed last night, I can go change and we can be on our way.

“Ok,” Han mumbled, rising from the bench so I could get out. I hesitantly moved out, allowing him to retake his seat. Before I could take a step out of the room, Chewie let out a roar that called me back. I turned and smiled as I prepared to listen to his request. Instead he simply flipped a switch and the table came to life. It was the same game him and I used to play in the Falcon.

“Well, I don’t know why I’d subject myself to losing to you again...” I lamented, “But since I’m leaving...” I sat next to Han again, who had a close lipped grin on his face. He looked like he was savoring the moment.

As always, I lost the game. But I won a few extra minutes with two of the most important souls in my life.

—————-

Sooner than desired, I was standing near the doors of the transport ship with my bag at my feet. I’d draped a black scarf around my head and was finishing tying it. Not that I was as well known as someone like Han Solo, but it didn’t hurt to take precautions. The rest of my ensemble contained my favorite dark green jacket, a plain black shirt, tan military issued pants and black combat boots. Nothing that would raise any eyebrows or suspicion that I was anything but a wanderer just passing through. A life where I didn’t need to pray nobody recognized me seemed out of reach, but I could dream...I shook myself from my thoughts as Han and Chewie approached.  ”You better stay in lest you start another shootout,” I retorted, eliciting a laugh from Chewie. Han shot him a look that could kill before turning to me. HIs expression softened immediately, taking my hands into his and sorting through his head for the right thing to say.

“You know I’d stay longer if I could but-“ I began,  ”War waits for no one.” Han interrupted, a small smirk lifting one corner of his mouth.

I nodded and tried to keep my tears from spilling out. As if it was a reflex, Han pulled me into his arms. I buried my face in his shoulder and let my tears fall silently, him pressing one of his hands to my hair as if to keep me there longer. And if I wasn’t needed elsewhere, I would have stayed. The time I got with him was precious and hard to come by but most importantly, it was easy. It was easy to forget about the war, the First Order...The further along the war progresed, the harder it became to leave him.

I squeezed him one last time and ordered myself to pull away. Han kissed the side of my head and patted my shoulder, “I’ll miss ya, kid.”

“I’ll miss you too, old man,” I smirked, before turning to a very depressed Chewbacca. I smiled and hugged him tightly, but definitely not as tight as he was squeezing me. Even though I could barely breathe, I didn’t care at all. After a moment, I pulled back and ran a hand over his arm. “Give him hell for me, will ya?”

Chewie happily nodded and let out a small roar, causing Han to roll his eyes. I turned away from my friend and squeezed Han’s hand one last time. With his free hand he pressed the button that opened the door to the ship, I couldn’t stall any longer. I slung my backpack over my shoulder and headed down the ramp, but not before stopping at the bottom and turning around.

“Y’know, she misses you. She’d never admit it, but it’s clear as day.”

Thirty something years of mixed memories washed over Han’s face, but the most visible one was love. Unconditional love. Cruel circumstances had torn both of them apart, but that didn’t stop me from trying my hardest to reunite them any chance I got.

He chuckled, “And she never will admit it. Nice to know she hasn’t changed.”

I smiled, others might have thought he meant his last sentence sarcastically but I knew it was the opposite. Han took joy in knowing that his wife was still as stubborn as the day he met her. It was one of the things he loved most about her.

I waved to him and Chewie and stepped off the ramp into the Rattatak shipyard. I knew Han would watch me until I was completely out of his sight. Even though I was more than capable of handling myself, it made me feel safer knowing someone was looking out for me. Locating the nearby ticket station, I walked up to the machine and placed my credits inside it. Selecting D’Qar as the destination, the machine spit out a ticket with the planet’s name spelled in a bold font.

A loud announcement played saying it was the last call for my flight and I hurried over to the docking bay. It wasn’t a paticularly packed flight, there were only maybe five other passengers. I was the last one to board and I settled into the very back of the ship. No sooner than when I hit the seat did the ship lurch out of the bay and into the sky. I pulled out the communicator I’d hidden in my pocket on and typed out a quick message,

On my way. Be home soon.

After shoving the device back in my pocket, I opened up my backpack to grab the remaining pastry from breakfast. My eyes fell on another object barely visible, but definitely there. The silver hilt, the scratch marks from being dropped a lot in the early days of learning, the trigger to ignite the weapon..

Don’t be afraid...

I quickly latched the pack back up, I didn’t have the energy or desire to think about that subject right now...

I just wanted to eat my food and get back to base.

#star wars #may the fourth be with you #star wars fanfiction #star wars rise of skywalker #tros #star wars imagine #poe dameron #poe dameron fanfiction #poe dameron x reader #poe dameron imagine #han solo #han solo fanfiction #Han Solo imagine #Han Solo x reader #leia organa #princess leia #poe dameron x solo!reader

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ladytabletop · 4 years

Note

Do you have any advice for creating character backstories? I seem to fluctuate between not preparing anything and writing six pages of backstory that I either end up changing or just completely ignoring.

Oh boy do I!

I get where you’re coming from. I tend to lean toward more detail, not less, but there’s definitely some things you can do to make a manageable backstory that doesn’t overwhelm.

1. Figure out what your character wants.

This is the big one, and while you don’t have to start here, it is essentially the heart of your character. What drives your character? Do they seek honor? Revenge? Love? Start with the general drive and work your way to specifics.

For instance, my paladin wants to make an impact on the world. More specifically, he wants to do this by performing well at the position he’s just been appointed to. Even more specifically, he wants to stop a recent crime spree in order to live up to the expectations of his position.

“I want” is the phrase that drives the story. Your character can and most likely will have more than one want, and the driving factor at the beginning of the story isn’t always the same as the one at the end.

2. What makes them “them”?

What does your character value? What flaws and fears do they have? What virtues and vices are the underlying current for their actions?

Answering questions about what is and is not important to your character can help you quickly get a grip on who they are and how they might play in game. The follow up question to all the above questions is, of course, ‘why?’. If you’re worried about writing too much and then discarding it, don’t answer ‘why’ beyond the surface reason.

For example, the paladin we’re talking about values honesty and fears disappointing those he admires. Why? He grew up hearing stories of heroes and longs to be one himself.

You don’t have to flesh out every single aspect of the character’s personality and life, which brings me to my next point.

3. Leave gaps.

Don’t fill in every bit of minutiae you can think of for your character. There’s a couple reasons for this: first, you need to allow the GM and other characters room to play.

“But it’s my character!” you say. That’s true, but you’re telling a story collectively. If you know every single thing about the character, you’ll have a more difficult time being flexible as you and your group tell a story. Allowing a GM to surprise you because you left room in your backstory for some past action/NPC to bite you in the ass, or because you didn’t flesh out with 100% certainty your character’s relationships and responses to various situations is delightful!

Secondly, you need to allow yourself room to play. Sometimes what we put on paper doesn’t translate to the table, or a response that flows better with the gameplay is “out of character” with your backstory. Give yourself wiggle room. Understand that you can’t conceivably know how your character would react to every single scenario; the split second reactions and improv may come more from you than your character, but that’s part of the charm of telling a story. You can inhabit a character well without knowing every little thing about them. Develop them as you go based on the solid foundation you have built.

Building a whole backstory that may or may not impact the game can be disappointing. Don’t set yourself up like that! It’s fine to have details and impactful events, but remember that your character needs to be ready to take part in a story with other characters whom they likely do not know or share history with.

4. Connect them to someone/thing.

Adding in a couple NPCs can give your GM fodder to make a story more personal to your character (and no, I’m not talking about them killing off your loved ones in session one). It allows you to carve out a little part of the world that is yours. While it can feel more real to make an entire family tree and circle of acquaintances, it can also bog things down! I tend to enjoy rolling with a little improv when my GM says, “Your paladin knows this fruit seller from the days before he joined the order,” rather than me writing a character the GM then finds himself having to play.

You can similarly connect your character to a cause or organization. I’m not saying it’s bad to have a loner character! But even the most independent individuals know people. Do yourself a favor and give yourself a reason to connect to the story in advance, and then see where that connection takes you.

5. Quirks, preferences, and other little things.

This is optional, but for me it’s the quickest way to make my character feel like a real person, even if I don’t know much about them or have much in the way of backstory. Write down some likes and dislikes, or habits/superstitions, just 3-5 of each. Then jot a little note about why. It quickly gives your character the feeling of being a fully realized creation.

For example, my paladin has the following:

Likes

swimming - used to visit cousins on the coast

walnuts - a favorite snack from late night study sessions

vaudeville - if he hadn’t been a paladin, he’d be destined for the stage

Dislikes

bees - deathly allergic

cold - grew up in a warm climate and gets cold easily

the sound of metal on metal - inconvenient, but raises goosebumps every time

You can even start here, with the smallest details, and build out!

Whatever your preferences when it comes to building a character, the important thing is that you’re considering how they will fit at your table. TTRPGs are not a solo effort; it is important for you to enjoy your character, but equally important is making sure that who you choose to play is someone who will be compatible with the story/table, and who can be adaptable.

Happy gaming!

#the lady answers #resources #long post

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mrmallard · 3 years

Note

If you actually knew about the situation, vinny didn’t do anything, and the situation was made up to make him look bad, and the audio provided was spliced, please do your fucking research!!!!

I've had a bit of time to think about my responses and the information that's flying around at the moment. In hindsight, I didn't say much in my second post that I didn't already cover in my first post, and I understand why people would be upset with my input so far.

I'm going to have another shot at this, because the level of fatigue I had when I tackled this topic really didn't do me any favors. I think my first post was pretty solid, but I dropped the ball on the second post and I understand why someone would be upset with me over that. I'm sorry.

I would also like to say that as more information comes out about this, my opinion will likely continue to change. I'm open to new information. I'm coming to the best conclusions I can with the information that's been provided to me. This is an opinion, and opinions can and should evolve with new information.

And finally, I would ask that you stay with me on this post because A) it's really long and B) I'm going to explain myself to begin with and then go over some angles I didn't cover in my other posts - it's gonna look like I'm retreading the same old stuff to begin with, but I approach the subject with more nuance later on. I would ask that you reserve judgement until you read my final statement on the matter.

TL;DR - the question I'm concerned with is whether Vinny slept with fans or not. I don't have the answer to that question - though I personally think it looks likely - and so the extent of my feelings on the matter depend on whether this is the case or not.

Otherwise, I want to explain where I'm approaching this all from.

In my last posts, I mentioned power imbalances and inappropriate behaviour. I still stand by the basic tenets of what I said - a celebrity has a degree of power over someone who looks up to them, and that can easily create a relationship where one person puts in a lot more work to make the other person happy, or to maintain what they see as a once-in-a-lifetime relationship with someone they admire.

I would like to stress that this imbalance exists whether the more influential person acknowledges it or not. It can be "used" - Quinton Flynn comes to mind - but for the most part it's a neutral force that's inherent to a creator/fan relationship, and neither party may realise that this is the case until a breaking point is reached.

Fame, and the power that fame affords an individual, is relative - Vinny isn't Brad Pitt, but he still has influence with his fans. And as such, I find the notion of Vinny sleeping with fans to be inappropriate due to his inherent influence in the situation.

And so, that brings us to the main question of this post - does Vinny sleep with his fans?

Before I even attempt to answer that, I want to outline my feelings on the document. Because I want to make it clear that there are aspects of it that I don't agree with, and I'm not approaching this with an all-or-nothing mindset.

First of all, the first accusation uses some manipulative rhetoric. "Imagine if you were in that situation", "imagine how you'd feel if..." etc. I understand the point of it - personally, I think it's a useful piece of rhetoric to argue in favour of more humane policies, because if you can make someone understand an inhumane situation by putting them in someone else's shoes, you have a chance of getting through to them. If the accuser has gone through a hard time, I understand why they would want the reader to empathise with their plight.

But given that this is a document where we can't verify every little happening or goings-on that the accuser is presenting to us, it pays to be wary of that kind of rhetoric. And as we can't confirm everything being said here, I would be extra wary of rhetoric like that being used.

Secondly, the audio recording does seem to be stitched together - even the transcript is choppy as fuck. I don't buy that it's all from one single call, and that would indicate that the accuser is trying to paint a particular picture of him and take things out of context to make him look worse.

Though I have to ask - is there any question as to whether the man on the other end is Vinny?

If it was Vinny talking about giving someone HPV, and that someone was indeed a Vinesauce fan - then that says that Vinny does sleep with fans. And because of that, I would find his behavior inappropriate.

If we accept that this recording has been compromised, then I can't verify one way or the other - but if this was indeed the case, I would have to stick with my guns and condemn Vinny for behaving inappropriately.

So you might be thinking to yourself that by labelling this behavior as inappropriate, and suggesting that Vinny has engaged in it, I'm calling Vinny an abuser, or a pervert, or any number of things. I want to clarify what I'm saying.

The accusations levelled against him are heinous and far-reaching. You have people equating him to a pedophile for chatting up younger women, you have people painting him as a malicious abuser. I don't think this is that extreme. I am not trying to further such heinous accusations.

My take on Vinny from the start has been that while something in his relationships might have gone awry one way or the other, I don't think it necessarily comes from a place of malice. I think he's an awkward dude navigating a grey area between private life and the public eye. I like Vinny's content - I'm a long time fan. I sympathize with him, and I understand that opening this can of worms is extremely hard on him, especially if he didn't do anything wrong.

The issue is that if aspects of these accusations are true - and while there are aspects that can be called into question, I don't think we can throw everything out just yet - then it isn't unreasonable to assume that there has been some degree of harm that has resulted from Vinny's relationships with Vinesauce fans. Not intentional harm necessarily, but harm all the same.

I can't just block up my ears and walk away from that - if it's true, I have to take that into account. And outside of this entire narrative being proven false, that's the best case scenario.

I would like to stress that my take on all this is tied strongly to my personal values as a person. And considering that, I think it's important to address that the content creators I follow have engaged in behavior that goes against my values in the past.

I like Game Grumps - I think Danny sleeping with fans in a groupie sort of way is inappropriate. I didn't believe the worst aspects of his accusations because I saw that RantGrumps were involved and they've been trying to take him down for years - sure enough, the person accusing him of grooming her as a teenager ended up deleting her shit and disappearing. The story was suss, and it was pointed out that he didn't do anything untoward towards a minor which was the bulk of the backlash - but the fact remains that Dan sleeps with his fans, and I disagree with that for reasons I've laid out earlier in this post.

I feel similarly about this situation with Vinny. We don't know everything about this story yet, and aspects of the main allegations don't sit right with me. I don't think a fully accurate picture of the situation is being painted. Much like I sat out the biggest bombshells about Dan Avidan, I don't think it would be constructive or appropriate to go all in on any of this without verifying its truthfulness.

With Dan, we can say that we know about his dalliances with fans. I disagree with that, and I condemn that behavior. I think there's a very real potential for harm towards Game Grumps/NSP fans who sleep with Dan, stemming from Dan's influence. I have to take that into account if I'm going to enjoy the content he produces - and given that there is no malice here, I could come around and engage with Game Grumps content in the future with the understanding that Dan is on thin ice, and that there needs to be more responsibility on his part.

The question I'm asking is whether Vinny is having dalliances with his fans. If he is, then my feelings towards him are identical to the ones I just posted about Dan.

And so, that begs the question - has Vinny slept with his fans?

I think there's a chance he has - I haven't seen proof that he hasn't. In which case, I would think it should be said that that's inappropriate behaviour, and I can't condone that.

Do I necessarily believe that it would make Vinny a predator if this was true?

I don't feel comfortable making that much of a leap.

I think Quinton Flynn is a predator. I think there have been much less e-famous personalities who used their influence to get away with a lot worse - specifically in the Smash Bros. community.

I don't have all the answers, but I absolutely believe that painting Vinny as a predator is a step too far with the information we have.

So, to sum up my final thoughts:

I understand that we don't have the full story. There are aspects of the accusations that I don't trust. On the same token, I have seen women saying they've gotten in contact with Vinny and had relations with him, though the first example I saw of this did at least say that he was apparently decent about it. Even then, I can't say I agree with the notion that Vinny sleeps with his fans.

But given that Vinny hasn't acted with malicious intent, I can say that I could eventually come around and engage with Vinny's content in the future with the understanding that he's on thin ice, and that there needs to be more responsibility on his part. Of course, that's if he has slept with Vinesauce fans in the first place - which I have been led to believe, but can't say with 100% certainty.

We need the full story. And until we have a better understanding of all this, I can't say for sure what's true and what isn't.

If I have somehow missed the whole story, before I finished writing this post or while I was writing this post, then I understand that this post has been a wild goose chase - but all I'm seeing is more drama and accusations flying around about who was behind all this with no definitive answer about what's true and what isn't.

Until we know everything, this is where I stand. This is my view of the whole situation. I don't want any innocent party to suffer in all this, which is why I'm taking this approach. And I would like to stress above anything else that A) I'm open to new information that confirms or denies aspects of this situation, and B) I'm engaging in this discourse in good faith.

I'm still not over the Quinton Flynn stuff - as much of an open and shut case as it was, it was still a shock and a sad surprise to learn about what he did and accept that he was a scumbag. I'm still upset about the Close Your Eyes, Look At The Mountains stuff - I loved those comics, but Kaycee was right to speak out about her experiences.

I don't want this to be true about Vinny. I like Vinesauce. I've already lost faith in so many entertainers I used to think of in a positive light. But I can't write it all off until I have confirmation that it isn't true. That's the reality of the situation, and you're free to feel otherwise.

#vinesauce

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mooglesorts · 3 years

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some 7 days: decide your story sorting thoughts after the cut, philio edition, because i love him. ending spoilers below!

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Philio

philio is 100% an exploded lion primary. with a REALLY LOUD exploded badger model, but he's definitely not a badger. for one thing because he doesn't seem inclined to dehumanize anyone, even the undead; for another, he's absolutely willing to let people get hurt for the sake of the cause (including himself).

i briefly considered bird for him, because he values the test so much as an external thing that shows you who really are, but given everything else about him and his themes i'm thinking probably not. he’s all about immovable, rock-solid certainty in his cause, and any attempt to reason otherwise with him rolls off him like oil off a duck’s back.

another interesting thing is that on the surface his morality seems to be fairly obvious ‘be kind do good help everyone...’ but when you look at it closer, it’s a little bit to the left. the actions that lower or increase his approval are actually really hard to predict until you’ve played it a few times, and have made an effort to pay attention to his actual goals and morals. otherwise, so much of the time his opinion just seems like it’s contradicting itself.

this could be a birdy thing--building his systems around logic, just maybe not the logic you’re expecting--but the way he goes about it also seems very lion-flavored. he doesn’t explain the underlying systems well, and he certainly doesn’t seem willing to change them; he just says things and expects other people to understand, end up at the same conclusions he did, and act on it. he comes across to me as a lion with a bird model, but instead of the classic--using it to replace his intuition because he doesn’t trust it--he uses it to convince other people that he’s Right, and explain to them how to follow his morals. except he’s, uh. not great at doing that! because he leaves out some pretty critical factors in his logic! it’s all so self-evident to him!

and my GOD will he judge you if you don’t follow his morals. on the flipside, no matter how far you’ve gone against them, the moment you turn around and start going The Right Way he’ll be completely fine with you again. which... on the surface it’s almost like he models bird, only it’s how he thinks everyone else should act, and in some ways it’s kind of admirable: he believes it’s never too late to turn back and start doing better. except that for him, the emphasis isn’t on so much changing your system; it’s on whether you were secretly a good person all along and just had to dig down beneath surface-level shittiness to reveal it. it’s REALLY unsettling.

(side note: this is by his standards! sometimes those standards are 'willing to do morally dubious things, in this case shoot a willing victim, to reach the goal you’ve set yourself on when there's absolutely no other way. but while refusing to kill unwilling people or do harm otherwise.' hell, that's how you get the best ending. it’s also entirely possible that he just really wants kirell to live, hence the contradiction; he doesn’t judge you or show any disapproval if you can’t bring yourself to kill him. either he’s working off a logic system here that i still haven’t quite figured out, which leans more bird, or he’s a lion who goes with his gut when it comes to what he thinks is right and therefore contradicts himself a lot.)

the secondary, now... the secondary is harder.

initially i thought he was a self-hating snake secondary with a lion model, but now i'm not so sure? he values truth and authenticity above all else, but a lot of the language he uses and the way he approaches it feels very... burned snake who's consciously choosing to tie their own hands behind their back, and forgo their masks, because they think that's the right thing to do. he's really, really frustrated by people not believing him, even when he's baring his intentions as much as he possibly can--them being suspicious of him because he’s trying so hard to convince him he’s being genuine, even. this might be a lion thing, or it might be ‘oh come the fuck on, i burned my snake already, what more do you want from me?’ talking.

a point that seem to lean in favor of lion: the fact that he’s so oblivious to the fact that people will be freaked out by his sheer frankness, especially about his motives and the things he’s willing to do for them. he realizes he’s distressing kirell by inviting her to kill him for her test, and is just like ‘oh. i’ve upset you, haven’t i. sorry about that (offer still stands, though).’ i feel like a self-hating snake secondary would probably be more aware that people could be upset by too much honesty about something like that, instead of it just not occurring to him... but it might also be that he’s neurodivergent and relies so much on masks to socialize like a ‘normal’ person. when he doesn’t have them available because he’s refusing to use them, he doesn’t know what’s appropriate, or how to tell that it’s not going over well, until the signs are obvious enough for him to pick up on them.

another point that initially seems to lean lion, but seems more snakey on closer inspection: throughout the game there’s only one part i can think of where he outright lies about something, and he’s brutally honest about some things, but at other times he’s perfectly willing to be cryptic, leave out information, and work with ulterior motives (benevolent though they may be). you might read that as a particularly slippery lion being selective about what parts of the truth they choose to emphasize, but i think the major thing that makes me lean burned snake is how he behaves in the bad endings.

if you turn out to be a piece of shit, on the last day he gets blisteringly sarcastic and passive-aggressive, and taunts you with things like ‘oh, who, me? not like you very much? no no no, of course not, where would you get that idea. :^))))’ that kind of spiteful delight in playing with the truth reads a whole lot more to me as a hurt, furious burned snake, bleeding through the iron control they normally have over their masks, than a pissed-off lion. which REALLY says something about the sheer strength of that lion primary, because holy shit.

...you know what? yeah, snake. i’m gonna call snake on this one.

Verdict for Now: Lion Snake, Babey! (with bird and badger primary models, and lion secondary model.)

#sortinghatchats #7 days philio #7 days decide your story #lion primary #snake secondary #lion snake #badger primary model #lion secondary model #burned snake secondary #exploded lion primary #burned houses #exploded houses #character sortings #7 days tag #philio is a fantastic god damn character and i love him so much #little clairvoyant doctor man has extremely dubious morals news at 11 #i already knew he was a lion snake but it's nice to dig into it some more and confirm #haven't got the faintest queue

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inventors-fair · 3 years

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New Year’s Resolutions: Group commentary

Welcome to the group commentary! As I said in the winner’s post, there were a lot of white cards in the inbox, and that’s an obvious sign that white needs a small rework to keep up with its buffed up brothers.

@misterstingyjack White does lover its planeswalkers and tying card draw with a powerful card type could be reasonable since card draw is white’s main weakness. However I would like it more if this loyalty extension was offered by a creature, so at least you can keep the game rolling.

@askkrenko MaRo has mentioned the “elemental” supertype quite a few times in podcasts etc, but its really too late to add this element to the game. But we’re here to dream and create, and Strike Twice would be a sick card, if not a staple, in that parallel universe. Also this is the most badass a Pichu has ever been XD

@ignorantturtlegaming There were no additional notes other than this crazy card in the inbox, so I can only guess that the creator wants more group-hug effects in red. I want to say Fires of Renewal is on the expensive side, but the effects it offers unconditionally are all very impactful. The Melvin in me appreciates all the instances of “2″ in the card!

@wolkemesser gave life to an ancient mtg character from the Shattered Chains book and boy, she’s a truly solid card. Ordando has decent stats and gives some additional staying power to monowhite decks. I like the whole flavor that is so tough that she can protect others and come back again, but the execution feels a little off to me, as discard and mill decks can abuse her in non white ways. Since we’re going for the flavor win, I would like it more if in order to protect something she exiled herself with a promise counter (which in turn allows her to be cast from exile.)

@i-am-the-one-who-wololoes A disgustingly evil win more card? Sign me up! The philosophy of the card plays very nicely in black, especially with low cost high stated creatures that ask for their tribute every upkeep! Counterspells in black are a big stretch in my opinion, but no one can’t deny this card is a big flavor win!

@col-seaker-of-the-memiest-legion Speaking of counterspells, here’s another suggestion for them being in white. Many protective cards can be treated as counterspells, so we could find a loophole and treat this as a very wide protective spell. I think we could have cards like this in the future, but it’s still treacherous terrain because they must be so efficient that might replace blue’s role in the game.

@naban-dean-of-irritation I have mixed feelings about Korair. Flavor text matches with the card’s name quite nicely but it doesn’t connect with the actual gameplay. Also venturing into the unexplored “emblems matter territory” is surely exciting, but I don’t like the fact that is creates emblems by itself, and with that ease to boot!

@mardu-lesbian Hindsight is pitched as the blue/red shared keyword ability. I view it in a positive light, meaning I think it’s both flavorful and makes sense for those two colors, but it’s a bit unexciting that it matters only once in the creature’s life on the battlefield, while other shared keywords are combat related and have a greater impact in the game.

@deafeningsandwichpeach Hexproof for player is a rare sight, usually preserved for white and green, but there’s also Leyline of Sanctity and Witchbane Orb and this changes things to the point I would even tell this card is overcosted. Cost aside, I really like Seal into Darkness!

@snugz I would really love blue getting a combat ability that’s not straight evasion, but going full throttle to lure all creatures is a bit much, given that existing cards are usually uncommon. It could be like old fashioned provoke ( forcing a one on one fight) or even a numbered mechanic, like lure 1 or 3 etc, forcing 1 or 3 creatures to block.

@hypexion Lapse of Certainty is definitely a card, but there’s a reason why it was not repeated. Here, Mean’s to Delay, like Unexpectedly Absent, is an X spell where usually the correct way to ply it is for X=0, turning it into a slightly better counterspell. Not against counterspells in white, but be cautious.

@deg99 With this Angrath design, deg wanted to build more on the Rakdos color combination, through caring about stolen creatures and you know accidentally sacrificing them before returning them to their rightful owners. The power level is quite high, but it’s so enticing that I would gladly playtest this card to enjoy the crazy ride!

@hiygamer Sooner or later, we will see this card printed, I’m sure! When that time comes, I hope it costs a little less, and also that it has an equally inspiring flavor text! Really nice design!

@thedirtside Our friendly snailbear wanted magic to be a little more weird, and what’s weirder than a procrastinating Eldrazi, looming over the battlefield, doing it’s own things. Given, its practically impossible to interact with it and this takes away a lot of points per say, but I love suspend and bizarre triggers that feel like a disturbance in the Force. But we must cling to simpler things to make it happen.

@stormtide-leviathan The proposal of this design is sponsored by “Horse United” inc and pushes WOTC to pass an errata to merge all Pegasi, Unicorn and Horses into one race XD On the actual design, Swifting Steed is a real treat for limited!

@teaxch here tacling on the big issues of mtg, the shared keyword for blue and black! Feint is surely flavorful and it would make combats really interesting, but the main requirement for a shared keyword is to be able to mix with the other established keywords of the color pair. Blue and black have a lot of evasive abilities so an ability that matters when you’re blocked might not get the green light. That said, I definitely want to see this ability here and there in sets. A little guile spices things up! Also, neat flavor text XD!

@dimestoretajic With a quick read I was quite thrilled, but then I realized that you had collective care about itself. That leads into being a bit clunky, and also it goes from 0 to 100 in 1 sec because it’s either you have not 3 collective so no draw for you, or you got 3 , which means 3 triggers and thus 3 cards!! With a small tweak, this brave insect could be holding the fair’s coveted trophy!

@corporalotherbear

It’s true that there are some dryads that care about multicolored shenanigans, and I really like Manatwist Dryad playing into this space and establishing this trend. Because if green can’t care about multicolors, who can?

@fractured-infinity Edit: I forgot the commentary for this entry last night. My sincere apologies! A new card type is always an exciting gift for our inbox! Strongholds can die from damage like planeswalker do. They make sense in white and I could see them secondary in blue as large structures are products of community and science.

Watcher’s tower has two passive abilities, the vigilance granting requires 0 effort, while the buff requires you to “man” the stronghold with the garrison activated ability. I wish phasing was still relevant so the creatures would phase out instead of exiling themselves, because things can quickly get out of hand with blink shenanigans.

The +2/+2 buff might be a bit much because it isn’t that hard to get it online on turn 3. But all in all, Watcher’s Tower is very interesting and I hope Wizards will explore this space in the future.

@partlycloudy-partlyfuckoff Sometimes you see a mechanic and it’s not in the color it deserves to be. Mentor in Green seems like a perfect fit, and the non human clause gives this Leonin a greater sense of camaraderie. All in all a good design and future proposal.

@gollumni I saw this card in a very positive light with the first read. I like investigate after all, and I had good memories of it pulling its weight in Shadows over Innistrad, giving White a taste of the forbidden fruit that is card draw. But with the second read, I feel the card is too efficient, taping two creatures and two lands for an instant speed draw is quite good, and adding the overrun option felt a bit too much. But other than power level concerns, I really dig this design.

@corillion This might seem like an everyday card without context, but the change suggested involves first strike and double strike being relevant in fights. I’m all for it, but I got a feeling that the closer we will get to this is like a first strike lord that allows only first strikers deal damage in fights.

@kytheon4-4 said let there be hatebears, but we got hatebirbs instead XD but instead of harassing your opponent, this feathered boi plainly protects your side of the board so you get to play uninterrupted, but only on your turn. Fair and square.

@reaperfromtheabyss Ending the same way we started, with planeswalker support, this time in Red, as it is proposed to be the secondary planeswalker matters color. I can get behind this idea, as red has a sense of wanderlust thematically, and in terms of game, it cares about noncreature spells so planeswalkers are game too. On the card itself, the etb trigger is quite nice, even dealing two damage is fine. About the alternative loyalty ability, a mere ping is something that you would encounter on a weaker planeswalker, so it could at least be a + 2 loyalty ability, to ensure the survival of your planeswalker, as red isn’t really good at defending.

#new years resolutions #group commentary #mtg #magic the gathering #Inventor's Fair #custom magic card #that's a lot of white cards

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whataboutthesecondbreakfast · 4 years

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Clone troopers as the Fellowship of the Ring

Cody/Gandalf: Cody gives off a wise, serious-but-occasionally-chill vibe. He’s no nonsense at work but very approachable off-duty. As a marshal commander he’s in charge of tons of stuff, just like Gandalf who organizes the plan to destroy Sauron and the ring.

Rex/Aragorn: A formidable fighter and a compassionate leader. Who’s better than Rex to represent Aragorn aka heir of Isildur aka King Elessar? His name literally means ‘king’ in Latin. He demonstrates his excellent leadership skills throughout the war.

Fives/Frodo: The tragic hero who saves everyone else err *spoilers* at least Rex and Ahsoka in Fives’ case. Fives tries his best to uncover Palpatine’s plot to prevent Order 66 even if it means losing his life. Frodo carries the One Ring and never fully recovers from this burden.

Echo/Sam: DOMINO TWINS. BROTP FOREVER. They’re together since the beginning. You can’t think of Echo without Fives and Sam without Frodo. Even their ending resemble each other: Fives dies and Echo lives, Frodo leaves for Valinor and Sam stays behind.

Gregor/Merry: The one who becomes more serious as the story progresses. Gregor thinks he’s just a normal guy at the beginning. When he knows he’s a clone commando he enters fighting mode immediately. Merry doesn’t understand the stakes at first but he matures as the War of the Ring draws to the end. Plus they wear yellow :D

Tup/Pippin: The Troublemaker. Tup kills a jedi albeit unintentionally and one thing leads to another. Pippin is constantly causing trouble e.g. waking the goblins in Moria, looking into the palantir, etc. Although the Pippin-stressing-Gandalf-tf-out dynamic fits Rex and Fives/Hardcase/Jesse better, idk 212th well enough to decide who causes Cody the most headaches. I’d say Obi-Wan if it’s not a post about clones.

Hardcase/Gimli: Super loud. Always complaining. He’s totally the kind of trooper who competes with his brothers for kill count like it’s a game. He’d probably said this during Umbara arc: “Certainty of death. Small chance of success. What are we waiting for?”

Kix/Legolas: He’s beauty, he’s grace, he’ll punch you in the face. He’s the prettiest clone ever have you seen his high maintenance af haircut? He fights with elegance ok I just made this up but no one can change my mind. The elves are also said to be great healers and Kix is a medic so 1+1=2.

Jesse/Boromir: *spoilers* Betrays his friends. Yes I know they’re under the influence of some evil shit (inhibitor chip/the ring) and do this unwillingly. Jesse hesitates when Rex persuades him but he executes Order 66 anyway RIP fuck Palpatine. Boromir realizes his mistake and redeems himself by protecting Merry and Pippin RIP fuck Sauron fuck Saruman.

Some of them don’t match 100% but that’s just me trying to put two of my favourite things ever together. FYI I’m using the film version of the Fellowship. What do you think?

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iaintyourbro · 4 years

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Hey! I just newly found out your acc and so far, I’m loving your posts/analysis. Idk if you’ve already answered or been asked this question but... how did you become a Cloti fan and the reason why you stan them (like what did you like about their tandem etc)? I’m just curious about your “journey” lol. Anyways, keep it up and have a nice day 😁

Hey anon! Thank you!

Oh you want me to ramble! I can ramble about this. Adding a Keep Reading!

You know, I’ve thought about this a lot today because of a conversation on Twitter. I can’t say I TRULY remember much about when I first played FFVII prior to the other pieces of the compilation coming out, things I saw in passing online, or other things that probably have affected how I remember it.

My Thoughts on What My Journey MAY Have Been

I played FFVII 20 years ago. Of course I THINK I remember how I felt about everything, but the more I do seriously think about it, the more I think the bulk of my opinions have been impacted by multiple different areas over that 20 years. On top of it, I’m not sure anybody who didn’t stay very active in the fandom would fully remember what went on 20 years ago with the game, nor could you truly remember what you felt prior to seeing everything else. It impacts your ability to say “Yes, I was this way, 100%.”

I wasn’t the biggest FFVII OG fan. I liked it a lot, but I preferred FFVIII and Xenogears by far. Those were the two I focused on the most. In terms of things like FanFiction, for example, I didn’t read Cloud and Tifa or Cloud and Aerith ones, I read Vincent x Lucretcia ones. As an adult, I appreciate FFVII OG much more.

I recall not being the biggest fan of Aerith, and I honestly don’t remember how I felt initially about Tifa. I do remember it feeling like it came out of left field when suddenly she’s in love with him in Mideel (we know it wasn’t sudden, but there was no real obvious buildup to me). If I’m being completely honest, I don’t think I cared at all about who Cloud “ended up with.” My assumption - and this I can say with certainty - was that Aerith died, so that was that. There wasn’t a relationship past that, nor could there be. She was dead.

Playing FFVII first, but FINISHING FFVIII first may have impacted this opinion as well. FFVIII was in your face romance. FFVII was not. There are a lot of people (myself included) that felt there was very little romance in OG. However, as with all of the other games I played, I did not question the story much at all. Cloud and Tifa have the Lifestream, which I do remember being like “WHAT?!” over that reveal of Cloud being a Shinra Soldier, not a First Class SOLDIER, they have some words Under the Highwind, and then at the end he catches her from falling. The dialogue during the ending bothered me because it made no sense to me at that point. After seeing the original story board, I can see why. I don’t think that was the intention, but for some reason they changed it. One thing I’m pretty certain on is that I got that weird feeling in my stomach where I got annoyed over that line.

I can recall being weirded out when people said that Cloud and Aerith ended up together, because I remember her dying. In life, 21 year old’s don’t pine for somebody that they knew for a month. That’s just reality. I’m not saying he didn’t feel anything for her, but it still weirds me out that people are okay with thinking he’d shut down and/or take more extreme measures to “reunite” with her, that I don’t even want to get in to. I will say that CA fans were much more vocal online, which I think is why folks like me who didn’t care never really got involved in online fandom. I never understood how it would make sense after beating the game, but I wasn’t the only one who assumed they did something weird at some point and made it where they could be together. I just didn’t care enough to look in to it.

My sister actually said to me, “Isn’t he with Aerith?” And I said, “No, but I had the same feeling at one point for some reason, and have no idea why.” And I reminded her Aerith died and she said “You’re right.. why would they be together?” Shrugs. I honestly think at one point I assumed they pulled a FFX and revived her in some offshoot game I didn’t play and that’s why people were saying CA.

Oddly enough, I think when I played KH and KH2 it made it obvious to me that they weren’t really pushing CA at all... even though I know some use those games as an argument. Mind you those are NOT canon to the FFVII Compilation, but I found it interesting that they bring in Tifa for KH2 and it ends up that a) Cloud was looking for Sephiroth and b) Tifa appears to have been his light. Even they way Aerith acts towards Cloud in KH never felt romantic to me at all.

Why I Like Cloud and Tifa

I like Cloud and Tifa because their relationship is very complex. It’s not flowers and sunshine like a lot of the FF romances. Not to say those don’t have drama - I mean Tidus is technically a dream, but they “revive” him anyway later on (never felt right about this, by the way... but I accepted it as part of the story).

Even in OG, it’s shown that they have quite a history, and Cloud pretty much has built all of his life decisions around Tifa. I do laugh every time I see the meme of the Lifestream and it’s all “Tifa Tifa Tifa”. I believe, I truly do, that the intent in the Lifestream was to make you realize that Cloud had a false persona up until he breaks at the Northern Crater, and once his TRUE SELF is revealed, along with it comes his true feelings. So up until that point, when you, as the player, could make decisions for Cloud and move him in a direction you thought was YOUR CHOICE, it’s not. It was an illusion.

I, in no way, thought that eloquently 20 years ago. However, I realized that he was in love with Tifa (which I thought was interesting for some reason) and that he created this fake personality to protect himself. The game doesn’t go into it much past that point, you get Under the Highwind, really, as a follow up to the feelings part, but that’s it. So I never saw the romantic aspect of it all as super important - it’s a nice to have.

Remake, however, really does seem to be pushing a more romantic angle, which ultimately made me a hard Cloti stan. I can’t say I WAS one before, even with all the “wait, is he with this or that one?” I never really thought he ended up with anybody TRULY except Tifa, but, like I said, I just didn’t care.

REMAKE MAKES YOU CARE ABOUT ALL OF THESE CHARACTERS. Like a lot. So I didn’t like Aerith in OG - I love Aerith in Remake. I love her relationship with Tifa, I love her sassy, judgemental attitude and her trolling of Cloud, because it’s hilarious. I don’t agree with EVERYTHING, but she’s by far better for me than she was in OG.

So Remake definitely made me go “holy cow” on the Cloti stuff. IT’S SO IN YOUR FACE. The Train Roll, the touching, the staring, the longing, the flirting. Even if you go the Aerith route, you can’t avoid a large chunk of that. You can skip all of her side-quests and still have a boatload of Cloti. Remake made me love the pairing and love all of the characters.

Cloti is now by far my favorite media pairing. When you compare it to Squall and Rinoa or Tidus and Yuna it seems much more interesting. Yeah, I’m saying it, and I’m a huge Squinoa fan. BUT - Remake didn’t make me care until now. Remake had me start researching the compilation, to understand where this and that came from. Folks on here have explained things that I may have missed or previously didn’t care about.

I also have a hard time with CA now after all of the compilation stuff. CC and ACC made it clear that Aerith loved Zack. This is NOT obvious in OG. The only references you get about Zack are “we weren’t that serious” when it’s first brought up in the park, IF you take Aerith with you to Gongaga, then she’ll say he was her first love, and Zack’s parents will say he wrote home about a girlfriend. None of that makes you believe that there was anything really serious between them.

CC clears that up, ACC reinforces it. After that, I can’t mentally do it because of the whole “bro code” thing. If Aerith knows Zack and Cloud were best friends, I can’t see her simply saying “cool I’ll just go with him now.” If Cloud was aware that his best friend was Zack, I don’t think he’d go with her. Prior to that, I can see why people would be okay with it. After finding out everything we know about how close Zack and Cloud really were, I can’t do it. This is a personal thing to me, it doesn’t mean I think nobody should ship CA. This is just how I view it, and I can’t see Aerith OR Cloud being okay with it if they were aware of it. This is also my view post compilation.

Remake reinforces, even further, the whole Zerith thing. As somebody who was meh before about them, I love them now. Remake makes you really look at the whole compilation if you’re not totally familiar with it or haven’t seen/played something in a long time.

So yes, I am definitely a Cloti stan, and probably always may have been, but just didn’t care until Remake.

But aside from all that - I took it as True Cloud’s One True Love was Tifa - and that’s part of what comes out in the Lifestream. So I don’t think True Cloud would have dropped Tifa.

#cloti #cloud x tifa #ff7r #ff7 #zerith

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